changelingsday

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I gave my soapbox speech about how weight loss is mostly bullshit to two different patients in a row yesterday and so help me I’m pretty sure one of these days someone is going to say “but SURELY you agree I’d be HEALTHIER if I lost weight!” bc you can see the disbelief in their eyes. And like. Sure, maybe! You might see some improvement in biomarkers like LDL and A1c, and your knees would probably feel better. But you would be amazed at how much more good you can do for yourself by focusing on things you can actually meaningfully change without resorting to making yourself miserable. Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables—it’s hard bc they’re more difficult to prepare and more expensive per calorie and go bad faster than other foods, but they’re what we evolved eating the most of so they’re what our bodies need the most of. And walk around more; sure, cardio is great for you, but if it sucks so bad you don’t do it, it isn’t doing shit for you. And we evolved to walk very very long distances, a little bit at a time, so our bodies respond actually very well to adding walks into our schedules, which is vastly easier than adding workouts that are frankly designed to be punishing when the definition of punishing is “makes you less likely to do it again in the future.”

You get one life. It is shorter than you can begin to imagine. Don’t waste it hating yourself because somebody is going to make money off that self-hatred. You deserve better than to be a cash cow for billionaires who pay aestheticians and dermatologists to make them (or at least their trophy wives) look thin and beautiful no matter what they actually do.

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guys guys guys guys guys guys guys

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full klance anastasia au comic from my instagram! 💕✨

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[Image Description 1: Comic, digital art cartoon style. To the left is a blue character and to the right is a red character. “People are sick!” Blue yells with a concerned expression and a sweat drop forming. “People are hypochondriacs!” Red yells back while rolling their eyes with an annoyed vein next to their eye. Below a tiny purple arrow points to two dots.] [Image Description 2: “PEOPLE! ARE! SICK!!!” Blue yells, their brow furrowed. “PEOPLE! ARE! HYPOCHONDRIACS!!!!!” Red yells back in their face. The purple arrow pointing to to dots is slightly larger, unnoticed by Blue and Red.]

[Image Description 3: The words “PEOPLE ARE SICK)(HYPOCHONDRIACS” are extremely large, in a motion blur as they swirl around the yelling heads of Blue and Red. Their heads against each other like a yin-yang symbol, eyes budging, saliva dripping. Below the purple arrow is bigger and we can see the dots are silhouettes.]

[Image Description 4: Below the purple arrow are two characters. On the left, a short character, tan skin, wearing blue pants, an oversized sweat-shirt with a heart mirrored by an upside down heart. Their head is half shaved and half short, curly, pale indigo color. They look shocked and annoyed, bags under their eyes.“Has a degenerative condition that took 5 years to get diagnosed” is written above their head. 

To the right, a girl nervous hold her hands in front of her chest, tears in her eyes, sad and frightened expression. She has on light green pains and a dark green tang-top dress shirt that ends above her navel. She has deep purple hair, long that fans out behind her head, and micro-bangs. Above her head “Has hypochondria, now called Somatic Symptom Disorder or Illness Anxiety Disorder.]

[Image Description 5: "Hey-” The short character says to the girl, their face still looking annoyed. “Yes?” Our hypochondriac responds startled, pupils tiny, forehead blue, and sweat forming on her arms. Afraid she’s about to be ridiculed for her anxiety disorder.]

[Image Description 6: The short character holds out a hand towards our hypochondriac, looking more relaxed. “Ya wanna get away from this noise and learn how to support each other in healthy ways?” They say. Turns out they have resting annoyed face, making them difficult to read. Hypo is more relaxed, but still has her hands to her chest nervously, her body closed off, more sweat, tears still in her eyes, looking at the short person.]

[Image Description 7: A close up of our hypochondriac. Covered in sweat, her pupils shrinking again as she processes what the short character proposed. She did not expect a person with a physical illness to see her as someone who wasn’t an enemy- to see her as more than just a person who made it more difficult for those with rare disorders to receive diagnosis or be taken seriously, or to be treated with respect and even love. She’s not smiling, but she is blushing as a sense of trust takes hold.]

[Image Description 8: *sniff* “I would love that.” Our hypochondriac says, now smiling and taking the hand of the also blushing short character.]

[Image Description 9: They fly into the sky holding hands, a rainbow trailing behind them. *Ghibli type music starts to play* *laughter of relief* They are pretty far away from us now.  “I think I’m getting altitude sickness” our hypochondriac says, the short person responding “That might actually be happening, we’ll go lower.”]

[Image Description 10: Downward at the bottom of the rainbow in script font are the words “Have fun with your word wars, ya Butts!”. Blue and Red have their backs to us as their looking at it. “What do you think those people were talking about?” says Blue, to which Red says “No idea. Wasn’t listening.”]

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Things found in the Hogwarts Staff Room of @shanastoryteller’s survival is a talent, as thought of by @kerov and me:

Countdown Until the Weasley Twins & Co Graduate (Begun at the end of their first month when it became obvious the Marauders had found their spiritual legacy)

Countdown Until Quinn Graduates (Separate from the Weasley Twins despite being the same number because zir antics require it, begun mentally by Snape but has since become one of the most updated by the entire staff)

Countdown Until Potter & Co Graduate (Begun after the troll in first year because it was the first sign of the chaos to come, now updated religiously by at least half the staff each day, with everyone who can attend the update arriving)

Countdown Until Malfoy Graduates (Begun in 4th year due to Draco’s crazy becoming more obvious to more than just Flitwick, Lupin, and Snape (who had already had mental countdowns) and worrying the professors that he’s going to put himself in an exhaustion-induced coma with how much he’s trying to do, and it’s only getting worse)

Countdown Until Ginny Weasley & Co Graduate (Only added in their second year (Harry’s third) when it slowly became obvious which of the youngest two Weasley children was more like the Twins)

It Has Been __ Days Since a Weasley Twin Prank (The highest number it ever reached was 5, and that was due to them being so busy between detentions and, more importantly, Quidditch practice in their 5th year (Harry’s 3rd) to win the Cup that year that they were too exhausted to plan any pranks – the professors celebrated that number for a week straight)

It Has Been __ Days Since Quinn Blew Something Up (Begun by Snape well before it was put in the Staff Room due to zir love of blowing up cauldrons)

It Has Been __ Days Since Quinn Fucked Something Up (Yes, it needed its own countdown, the staff realized; there was a major difference between the two)

It Has Been __ Days Since Malfoy Did Something that Should Have Been Impossible Even With Magic (Begun during 4th year when he continually did what should have been impossible throughout the year, to the point they were resigned to it rather than shocked)

It Has Been __ Days Since Potter & Co’s Last Nonsense (Begun by McGonagall after she caught them out of bed due to Norberta in first year, since it reminded her of the Marauders, and the others joined in as they caught on that they had already done way too much nonsense for simple first years and it wasn’t a good sign)

It Has Been __ Days Since Potter Ended Up in the Hospital Wing (Madam Pomfrey began this countdown during his second year, and others were quick to follow it; the only reason Draco doesn’t have his own is because he has yet to end up in the hospital wing, but there are most certainly bets going on about when he will end up in there and gain his own count in the Staff Room)

It Has Been __ Days Since Finnegan Blew Something Up (Begun within a month of him entering Hogwarts as he quickly became notorious for his love of fires and explosions)

It Has Been __ Days Since a Quidditch-Related Fight (This has been around for as long as Quidditch has been at Hogwarts, and its numbers are always smallest before a match, especially the Gryffindor-Slytherin one, and highest during the off-season, but even during the off-season it gets reset occasionally) 

It Has Been __ Days Since a Couple was Found in a Broom Cupboard by Staff (Begun before any current professors could name, it was a simple way for professors to tell the rest of the staff that yet another couple was stupid enough to be caught in a broom cupboard, rather than having to actually mention it to one another)

It Has Been __ Days Since Gryffindor Caused School-Wide Rumors (Notorious for having one of the smallest numbers, most years, though apparently in 1768 they went an entire school year without it being reset; there’s a plaque for that year)

It Has Been __ Days Since Slytherin Caused School-Wide Rumors (Often competing with Gryffindor for most often reset, especially since Voldemort began to rise in the 70s, though even before then resets were common) 

It Has Been __ Days Since Hufflepuff Caused School-Wide Rumors (More often reset than some may guess, but they also hold the title for some of the most insane rumors that float around that were actually proven true, like the time they made a tunnel out of Hogwarts and ran the smuggling ring of the castle for over a decade back in the 1850s-60s)

It Has Been __ Days Since Ravenclaw Caused School-Wide Rumors (Least commonly reset, but almost every single reset occurred due to experimentation with magic that caused either an amazing result or destruction)

It Has Been __ Days Since a School-Wide Disaster (While recently this most often coincides with either Harry & Co’s Last Nonsense or a Weasley Twin Prank (or the Marauders before them), it has historically been reset due to events such as the Chamber of Secrets being opened, an epidemic of a disease, Peeves causing a huge mess (with student assistance), the house elves going on strike and not cooking for over a day straight, creatures from the Forbidden Forest trying to invade the castle, the giant squid finding its way into the Black Lake, etc.)

It Has Been __ Days Since the Last Unexplained Phenomenon (The origin date of this count is unknown and likely goes back to near the time of the Founders; it is just constantly kept in the Staff Room and updated when necessary)

It Has Been __ Days Since the Defense Professor was Hired (Begun when the curse on the position was noticed, it became a source of amusement for many professors to see which Defense professor survived the curse the longest before a new professor took over; this is one count that is usually charmed to be hidden from said professor, of course)

__ Days Until Potter’s Annual June Bullshit (Begun after second year when they realized this was going to be an annual event and there wasn’t enough alcohol in the castle for them to be dealing with this)

List of the Most Insane Pranks Pulled by the Weasley Twins

List of the Worst Fuck Ups Quinn Managed

List of the Insane Situations Potter & Co Found Themselves In

List of Impossible Magic Malfoy Pulled Off

List of What Sent Potter to the Hospital Wing Again

List of Unique Quidditch Injuries (Harry’s broken arm to no bones at all made this list)

List of Insane Quidditch Stunts (Harry’s first match definitely made this list)

List of Unique Hospital Wing Visits (Hermione’s Polyjuice Potion incident is on it)

List of the Worst Student Fuck Ups (In the Classroom and Out of It)

List of the Most Unique Places Couples Were Found Together

List of School-Wide Disasters

List of the Most Insane Reasons for Gryffindor School-Wide Rumors

List of the Most Insane Reasons for Slytherin School-Wide Rumors

List of the Most Insane Reasons for Hufflepuff School-Wide Rumors

List of the Most Insane Reasons for Ravenclaw School-Wide Rumors

Lists From the Past (Stored in a cabinet of the Staff Room for anyone curious to look at):

Countdown Until the Class of 1978 Graduates (Begun early in their first year due to the Marauders but then gaining even more followers of it as more and more of the year caused problems such as Snape and Evans and their friends; that class couldn’t graduate soon enough for the professors’ sanities)

It Has Been __ Days since James Potter Asked Lily Evans Out (Because really, it got to be a way too common thing and the staff were curious to see how high it could go before they reset it; that number was actually 64 in their 6th year near the end when he began to finally calm down and mature)

It Has Been __ Days since James Potter was in Detention (This number remained ridiculously low until his 6th year, with the record being 14 days and that only due to Quidditch)

It Has Been __ Days since Sirius Black was in Detention (His and James’ lists were usually reset at the same time, to absolutely no one’s surprise)

It Has Been __ Days since Remus Lupin was in Detention (Of the Marauders, his count reached the highest numbers, but even his was reset at least every other month for most of their time at Hogwarts)

It Has Been __ Days since Peter Pettigrew was in Detention (Somewhere between James/Sirius and Remus, Peter’s record was just shy of a month at 27 days before their 6th year)

It Has Been __ Days since Severus Snape was in Detention (A large majority of his detentions were caused by fights with the Marauders, but some were due to experimenting with potions with Lily and blowing something up)

It Has Been __ Days since Severus Snape and/or Lily Evans Blew Up a Cauldron (They were the Quinn of their era, constantly experimenting with potions and blowing something up, hence his exasperation with Quinn and why the professors that had taught him were subtly and not-so-subtly laughing their asses off at how ze was what he deserved, until they realized ze got progressively worse each year and it started affecting them too)

It Has Been __ Days Since a Fight Between Slytherins and Gryffindors (Influenced by the fighting due to the war occurring outside of Hogwarts between Voldemort and Death Eaters and those who opposed them, this was much more common in the 70s than it is in the 90s, so it was retired after Voldemort’s “defeat” in 1981)

It Has Been __ Days Since There was a Magical Creature Running Loose in the Castle (Begun during Newt Scamander’s time as a student, it was retired after he was expelled, believed to be unnecessary, only for Hagrid to become a student and require its resurrection; the staff didn’t realize it until after he was expelled and could then have his creatures near him on the grounds by his hut, finally revealing the source)

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夏目友人帳 -  volume covers

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Making new friends

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The star whale from doctor who <3

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kakashi has eight dogs and he buys so much stupid shit for all of him and that’s where all his money goes

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When in doubt, go to the library!

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うずまきナルトとうちはサスケ

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Honestly I think the biggest problem with Narutos writing is that Kishi introduces a complex world with a lot of morally grey characters but the narrative is very black and white so you either end up being completely demonized for justified actions or everything bad you’ve ever done is sugarcoated or completely swept under the rug

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i love my beautiful immortal murder husband

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... together...

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Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who don’t or can’t write the 50k fan-fictions, because of a lack of focus or motivation, or mental illness.

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who don’t or can’t write smut, but are still lumped into a group that is almost expected to write smut. 

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who can’t update chapters frequently for maybe a multitude of reasons, and get messages daily from people asking for “their” new chapter. 

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who aren’t big name fans and hardly get ten kudos or one comment on their fan-fictions. 

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who stay up all night editing and rewriting and don’t get much attention on their work no matter how much they feel like they promote their writing.

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who don’t write a lot and are constantly asked to write more but can’t for whatever valid reason they have. 

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who have the courage to post their writing online and only have it publicly made fun of for grammar or poor characterization. 

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers for writing their fan-fiction, posting it online, and continuing to do it no matter how much or little attention they get, and constantly improving as a writer with every upload.

You all rock.

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It’s so quiet. I wonder where our friends the little kodama went.

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Peanut Butter Ice Cream Oreo Cups (recipe in Hebrew)