#I have vampire brain but I’m permanently stuck in Jace brainrot

[whoblewboobear]

Crack fic where Zara turned Jace and Jace forgot to bring it up to Porter who starts getting very suspicious about some of Jace’s new habits.

He goes to Zara and he’s like “yeah idk what’s up with him lately. He doesn’t really have an appetite anymore, he sleeps all day, and he’s so cold all the time. I think he might be sick.” And Zara’s standing there trying not to facepalm bc 1. Porter wtf you don’t notice that these are vampiric traits u fucking idiot and 2. of course Jace just forgot to tell their partner she turned him. And she’s sure as shit not trying to get in the middle of a fight so she’s like “idk ask him if he’s sick 🙄 there has been a bug going around, maybe it finally bit him.”

And Porter is like ??? Bc “why do you always speak in riddles.” Zara just flips him off and leaves but she immediately sends Jace a text

[Zara]: you forgot to tell our boyfriend i turned you?!

[Jace]: sorry I’ll tell him tonight 😘💫

Jace’s way of telling him? Feeding on Porter the next time they’re fucking.

Porter is into, sure. He lets Zara bite him all the time but this isn’t Zara this is- 🤨

Porter wishes he has magic in that moment because he would teleport if he could and leave Jace empty. Because he’s really trying hard at this communication thing and the LEAST Jace and Zara could’ve done was rope him in on the conversation. He’s not one to police what they can and can’t do together, he loves the both of them and he’ll give them space if they wanna do their own thing but 🥺

And when Jace finishes his little drink he just sits there does lil jazz hands and says “Surprise~” but Porter is very frowny about it for the next few days and gives them both the silent treatment until they surprise him with new leather gloves and give him lil kisses and promise to tell him big stuff like that from now on.