#I have too many ideas I want to draw atm so I’m just posting these two first

[sparklebeamx]

Boop some wynncraft sketch pages (+my oc) that definitely didn’t take a couple days to do because of procrastination

Also different design of how I draw these characters compared to last years I think

[plutoons]

Can you do a tutorial on how your art process is done I’m about to quit on Art everything I make fucking sucks .

hey anon !! My art process is almost non existent cause i haven’t been able to stick to One definitive way and i don’t want to cause i think its limiting. I still have a long way to go for improving my skills and learning new things and figuring out different styles !!

Heres a quickk drawing showing what my “main” process is

This is something i generally have stuck to for most of my posted drawings (i can post things specific to some drawings on a separate reblog ^^ im just to lazy to get pictures of em for examples rn)

Doodle !! I cant visualize shit, and usually have a very vague idea of what id like to draw Or just nothing at all. So I doodle messily with expressive gestures till’ i find something that sticks

choose one final concept/sketch and clean it up a lil so i have a way better idea of what im getting myself into

Base colors cause i hate doing lineart. So i just go straight into colors casue its fun and i like fun!! Right on top or on a diff layer it doesnt matter. I color pick with my eyes and put base colors or anything i think it would be cool. No pressure and it can messy cause I’ll clean it up and figure shit out later

fuck around and find out (rendering ig)—> i cant explain it super well or definitively. I just layer and throw colors on top till im satisfied or Done with it. I flip my canvas a bunch or check my values to make sure the results come out to look more coherent regardless of the mess of color

Im just a simple person and cant handle something that requires too many steps or things that havta be done Just right so this works for me atm. This may not be your jam but finding a process in that works for you through trial an error is just a part of art. Do what works for you!! I think experimenting is so important even if it sucks in the end

(more Words / “advice ?” under cut)

I have so many shitty drawings and sketches and even colored things that outweigh the tiny bits of art i decide to show off

I totally get that creating art can get really discouraging at times; not getting the results you want when you want them no matter how much effort you put in just sucks, but it won’t always be that way :] even if it takes you 10 years to find your groove and see improvement or 2 years, it’ll happen. I find that i’ve only improved when i actively didn’t give a fuck about how my art looks and only cared that i was having fun through it all, and thats hard cause perfectionism is a bitch and its hard to get rid of. You could improve with studies and daily practice for sure but moving towards improvement can be as fun and light n breezy as you want to make it, like taking a break to explore different hobbies or changing up mediums or fucking around and experimenting with it can help !!! Allow ur art to be bad; cause fuck it, at least you made something and thats really really cool. Once you cut urself some slack it’ll be easier to improve upon your skillset and slowly but surely get to where you want

Sorry im a bit tired idk if this is coherent so heres a more direct thing i’d like to say:

Maybe ur art isn’t where you want it to be rn and ik it can kill ur motivation to keep going at it (i’ve experienced this feeling a lot and im sure so have many others). But you gotta ease up on urself and stop worrying about results so you can allow yourself to experiment and have fun!! And its hard getting into that mindset but you gotta keep trying and you’ll find it getting easier

[ask-glorious-guild]

I’ve been thinking this over for the past while, and I think I unfortunately have to say…

This and all my other ask blogs are going on indefinite hiatus.

I love ask blogging, but as more time goes on my interest has been leaning towards other places. There’s been far too many ideas I’ve shelved just because I didn’t want another thing to compete for my time when I also have all these to work on.

And as I’ve been taking a break due to moving and schoolwork and all that, I’ve found not having to worry as much about drawing updates or anything a bit relaxing. Well, not fully relaxing cause there’s so much stuff I’ve been having to do, but you get what I mean.

Also as a note, most of the time I announce I’m putting blogs on indefinite hiatus, it usually ends up resulting in me never coming back to them. But I do want to make clear here that this isn’t necessarily the case this time. I could very well see myself coming back in a few months or maybe even a year. Who knows! We’ll just have to see.

Honestly, I probably will still occasionally update @ask-imaginary-dreamers just cause I really want to actually finish the flower arc. But everything else is just kind of a question mark atm.

And uhh, I think that’s about it? I guess if you want to look at my other art stuff you can follow my art blog @roseatedramon. I’ll probably be posting any askblog character doodles I make there rather than my modblog, though don’t expect to see any frequently.

Anyway, see you all later!

[official-kenralie-fanbase]

oh! now that i can send you pictures!! i can show you the coolest thing that has ever happened to me in fandom

i made a post pointing out how much sense it would make for Sophie to have a twin and when @lusilver001 was really interested and drew these when i was infodumping my ideas about her last summer.

@daydream-draws also drew Josie and Sophie after Lu did

these drawings are the MAIN reason that this Au is a real thing, i probably would have taken forever to actually see if people where interested because i kinda thought the idea was dumb, because i’ve had the idea since i was 16ish and it was a very dumb self insert at first.

every-time i got discouraged and would drop the twin Au for a while. i would eventually remember that people drew art for my unwritten Au and it would bring back the want to make it exist. because people obviously liked it too, and i wanted to create something that people would enjoy and want to read.

i’ve gone come back to the au several times, every adding more details. more recently it has come back MUCH stronger than it has in a while, i figured with some help from @crymeariveronceagain how Sophie would find Josie (which was a HUGE struggle and the main reason it was dropped so many times) and what the plot would be (still kinda stuck so i’m focusing on characters atm) but i’m actually going to write it now.

it’s probably not gonna be written until next year because it’s supposed to be the length of a novel, i want it to be good and i need to actually be able to write something that long. 

i’m also trying to figure out how to fit The Rot in there (i made up an deadly elf fungal infection) i’ll tag you in it

Oh my goodness that is so amazing!!! Wow, that art is so cool, I know if anyone ever drew my OC I'd just... spontaneously combust from happiness so that is just amazing.

It's so cool how other people's interest in your AU helped you maintain interest in it! I love how supportive people can be of each other, especially in each other's projects like this. Feel free to ask me questions about it at any time :) I can't wait to see the finished product, I've been thinking about it a lot since you started talking about it to me, so whatever help you need (plot holes or ideas or whatnot) I'd be willing to help!

And how dare you mention a cool piece of worldbuilding without telling me anything about it?!? I mean that in the best possible way, The Rot sounds super interesting, and working it into the AU would be amazing

[captainaikus]

If you make an another account will you be posting it? You know so I can immediately follow and all 😁. And same I’ve always been a loner too. There have been a few exceptions though. But the past year taught me a lot about friendships so I’m just working on myself this year. It’s kind of lonely but at the same time really peaceful? I think I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long time. Yeah the lack of friends and companions makes things lonely but it’s not something that I’ll let break me anymore. I know I’m stronger than that now. Someone’s I think online people are easier to interact with because there’s no attachments?? Like if they left me I can assume something happened or they decided to go offline but I know for sure (mostly) it’s not my fault you know? And people online are just so much kinder in general. Not that I interact a bunch of people online, just a few, but that’s just my experience so far. Didn’t mean to go off on a rant there my bad 😅.

And don’t apologize for closing the chat box!! It’s completely understandable. As kind as people can be online there are still a bunch of creeps out here 🤢. So pls stay safe!!

YOUR SCREENSAVER?!??! ASDGKKGFFGG MY BABY HE LOOKS SO PRETTY. Also I’ve only recently gotten a Haitani brothers brainrot so like that’s a big factor atm 💀💀. OH there’s this one artist that posts her drawings in insta and tiktok abt TR and they look amazing and are so freaking funny I end up clutching my stomach every time 💀😭😂.

Here’s one of them

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRCVqAnf/

I’ve posted a few things on my blog but only drabbles really. I’ve been wanting to start doing analysis’s for a long time but I never got around to it. Just like character analysis’s and relationship analysis’s and story arcs and all that jazz. I love all of it. And in my opinion the best stories are the ones where the characters are what drive the plot of the story. TR did an amazing job of doing this and it’s one of the reasons I fell in love with the story in the first place almost immediately.

That one illuminati ask was…. something 💀.

Comfort fics are my favorite and the ones that explore real experiences and feelings and aren’t just a colt bf paste of the same words really do it for me.

Thank youuuu ☺️!!! Yeah my blogs a mess but I have so much fun with it. I haven’t posted anything in a while tho and I’m thinking about starting character analysis’s posts first. I’ll probably brainstorm over winter break. Which cant come soon enough btw. I have so many ideas for stories (besides fics I mean) and I wanna warm up and practice with tumblr.

Emperor! Izana ehhhh 👀👀?? Don’t worry I can wait. I can be patient when I want to be 😌. And the 30+ WIPS?? I felt that 😭😭. I don’t even wanna look at all the almost blank documents where I speed typed like 30 words at 3 am and when back to sleep 💀💀.

REOOOOOO!!! See like Nagi is also very adorable. And Barou has been growing on me lately 👀. See what I’m doing with blue lock now is just being spoiled left and right. I gave up trying to avoid spoilers (my lack of patience really shined through here) so now I see a post abt a match point or a duo breaking up in the manga and I’m like WAIT WHAT and then just don’t read the manga 💀💀. I WILL (eventually) soon but after the first season ends.

I love love love analyzing people and hearing their stories and learning things through experience. Which is really rich cause Im not good with talking to people and I never leave the house 💀💀. You can see my problem 😭😭.

How’s reading TR going? 👀👀

Ohhh I’ll check out those recs.

What did you think of the new episode of Chainsaw Man? Shit really hit the fan after the first 5 minutes 💀💀.

You should’ve told the guy where you found the picture so that he could save it as his wallpaper if he liked it so much 😌🙄.

Also can I mention how much I love the headers you put at the end of each ask? Like they’re so adorable and cute and thoughtful. I just wanted to say I really appreciate them!!! You’re so sweet ❤️❤️.

As for me, I’m currently in the library waiting for my next class to start. I took a tumblr break after eating lunch. My professor just made a big essay optional and extra credit because he wants us to review for our last unit test and midterm throughly. SO LIKE HECK YEAH!!! But also I already have an outline for it so I’m debating if the 10 point extra credit on our midterm is worth the extra work or not.

How’s your day going? Papers are rough but you got this 😤😤!!! Don’t forget to take breaks and eat something and drink water today okay??? *sends many virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

Kinda want to announce it so that I don’t seem sus - but I also wanna be discreet abt it so that I can interact with people who wanna message me (in priv) and not people who want a part 2 of something from me ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა (please I get that you guys don’t wanna be left on a cliffhanger - but. I have a life outside tumblr and left with less hours to write. And if you want quality, you’re gonna have to wait. Pushing me isn’t gonna work cause you’re gonna be disappointed with the end result and so will I) you’ll be able to tell it’s me cause I will say this - it’s a TR username - I have two of them in mind and I can’t figure which one I want more cause the one I got represents me in whole and the other is a guy who’s high (ikyk)

Yeah, it gets lonely here- but at least it’s peaceful; I follow a few blogs - mostly art + JJBA updates (and I’m super excited to check out the new eps of stone ocean) interaction wise... i have tried it out before, but none of them lasted long. what hurt me the most was when i was trying to be genuine abt something and writers here (not all but some) are really closed off yk? like they're fine interacting with friends but are really selective with new people? cause of that i just gave up interacting with them altogether and after my ideas got taken and neither was anything being reciprocated back on my blog by them despite us following each other- cause it goes both ways and if its just me, i wont do it anymore. my experience online hasn't been that great except with the upload of fics... and the only interaction i would get was comments or going through tags that was included by the person who reblogged it- but with recent developments, a lot of that has changed and i'm comfortable talking to people now ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

Oh yea definitely. Safety is super important to me - that's why i never reveal too much about myself just small things cause you can't be completely safe on the internet- like when i was still a small time writer i got followed by a spanking account (istg the way my eyes widened when i saw it; and it wasn't even the kinky variety- it was traditional method of disciplining someone) - won't go much into detail about it but yeah i ended up blocking him. And now that i think abt it he must've read my hanma fic - but still (T.T)

Rindou is so pretty- i. he looked at me on the train (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

Unfortunately, I don't use tiktok. I used to be there - but i realized that i wasted a lot of time with endless scrolling, some of the content had received a lot of likes despite there not being enough effort? not to mention my ex's friends came to troll me through that app. I deleted my account and as i got older, i decided to never go back - so now i just stick to pinterest, twitter and instagram with the latter two being purely for uni reasons. so yeah i'm not much of a social media kinda person - and yeah i live under a rock and i'm ancient (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

Oh yeah when characters take the drive and the plot goes ahead is a different thing altogether - and i agree. like even in tr, i was really surprised to see the turn of events and character development - especially Kazutora and yeah i saw the drabbles (didn't get to read them cause i haven't watched one piece but maybe i should soon) - glad to know that you're a woman of culture for liking ace cause i like him as well - despite not watching the anime (is a zoro fan as well) and now i wanna change the theme of my blog as well- thinking if i should go with beige, sage green or blue- gonna see how this pans out

that illuminati ask had me dead- and i was just laughing from confusion and saying that idk who was a part of project and conspiracies- it's gonna be an inside joke on the blog 😂

Oh yeah emperor Izana - very fitting for his image tbh; and literally- when its time to write, it is time to write and lately i've been feeling the word "cold" a lot which added to True north Aiku's part (yes i will talk abt my husband- and apparently he's set a standard for me in men too shaggy hair with a mullet minus the side shave + scruff/ 5 o clock shadow) I haven't watched the latest of bllk - i read the new chapter though - not much action but Isagi's development; and you found out abt a duo breaking up- ૮₍•᷄ ࡇ •᷅₎ა dw tho - there are more pairings that come in and you'll get to see Barou with his hair down- p hot ngl .What i really really pray for is aiku getting animated (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) i wanna see him touch him feel him (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

TR reading - might start uploading manga panels soon and i still like Senju/ Senjuu - she's like me (๑>ᴗ<๑) (although i know some ppl would disagree- i'm curious to see what character would you relate me to tho)

And i forgot to add that i read philosophy as well - i'm all over the place tbh - one of my favs is tuesdays with morrie. Its a sad book but totally worth the read.

I haven't watched chainsaw man just read the manga- but i think i should start watching that cause mappa did a good job with it and honestly- the animation looks very different than their usual (i was roped into re-watching aot - likes reiner and porco )

Ty fur liking the headers- (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) i'm gonna put them for every ask - might start putting webtoon ones too

Oof good luck on the review!

So, i wrote the review and the prof liked it a lot- i got summoned to the archival section of the library - the books there are so old and dusty and i'm working on a research paper with my prof (had to wash my hand three times to get the dust off and i'm thinking of carrying surgical gloves for this-)

I hope your say is going well too, starry!

I do not regret sending cursed images I found on Pinterest

[gracefireheart]

I probably should try and do some smaller drawings/sketches atm- especially after I had just made a lil’ animated thingy- but I’ve got so many drawing ideas that I’m like “Yeah, I definitely want this to have nice lineart, be fully colored, have some shading/lighting, and maybe a bit of background too.”

For example; one of my drawing ideas was from this lil’ VM modern!AU thought I had a few days ago, where there drawing would be either six or seven screens with a video that each VM member made.

Another idea that’s pretty loose is just a chill drawing where I build a room first with CSP’s 3d feature thingy first, then draw whoever into it like I’ve done in some of my drawings (such as the two in this post of mine). Could be some characters from VM, or from BH, or characters from either VM or BH but in my pokemon trainer AU. Idk.

Speaking of the pokemon trainer AU, a part of me wants to draw some of the teams I had made for either members of VM or BH, which is... a lot to draw considering each character has six pokemon in their team.

I also got that Drow Bard Noble character my brain couldn’t help but make a few days ago (and also the Gnome Monk Sage and now Firbolg Warlock Sailor that I made like-- months ago by now orz) that I might wanna draw at some point.

Etc. etc. etc.

Tldr; Got a lot of drawing ideas, but not as much motivation to go full out on them atm o(-(

[nights-at-crystarium]

Talking about THE comic!

I yelled about it randomly on my personal twitter or in the tags here but probably it’s a better idea to write the first “official” post C:

So, the two idiots I’ve been drawing for half a year now. Mostly self-indulgence, but also a slow preparation for THE comic. At first I merely wanted to tell what atrocities Vivi did in Norvrandt and how that affected their relationship, giving it, I dare fucking say, a rather unique angsty spice.

I’ve never written before, in late January/February I started scripting the Vivi-flavored ShB+5.x story to casually drop it maybe in several releases. A month or two forward, I’ve gone completely mental practiced writing fics (one published, a few more ready, a few more cookin’ but I’ll keep them until the corresponding Fragments are released), spent every day thinking about them so obsessively that the planned comic script got remade with slighly more finesse on my end as a writer, more depth as ViviRaha completely went out of control as characters, and their story started expanding in all directions at once.

I Wrote A Lot and I still keep adding a bit here, a bit there at least once a week. By now the broad concept is fleshed out, just as the characters, everything’s ripe and juicy and ready for consumption. Only one lil thing: now I’ve actually gotta draw it :’D

When am I actually starting? How will it look? Will it be free? And other questions that you guys might have, I’ll try to cover under the cut.

“Fragments” is a wolgraha-centered (duh!) comic that’ll be published here on tumblr for free. I’ll be crossposting it to twitter but the format’s oriented for this hellsite first and foremost. Not sure about the actual webcomic platforms, too much hassle for now. I’m still thinking how to handle the early access and whatnot, I MUST think about it since my art is the only source of my income. Likely I’ll have one release up on tumblr and two next ones on Patreon and Kofi to support my further work on the comic.

I AM anxious about it. My life currently is a huge unstable mess, mildly put, so I’m extra worried about starting the comic, announcing the release schedule, then getting blindsided by something new irl (so far 2022 had 3 major events that left me crippled for weeks - speaking of the personal scale events ofc) and having to go on a break that’d last for who knows how long, and how it’d impact my art style (yeah my mental state, my productivity and the very way I draw are unfortunately linked). There’s no guarantee of a safe and stable life for me atm, the best I can do is to start the comic regardlessly and hope shit doesn’t get worse.

So far the plan is to post every Friday (because Fragments Friday, ha!), anywhere between 2 and 10 pages (2 horizontal frames per page like in the early Tamen De Gushi), depending on the script. Max 10 pages because that’s how much a tumblr photopost can have. I call this “release”. Some scenes will be short and sweet and easily contained within one release, the others will span over multiple releases.

I’m NOT sure I can handle the weekly release schedule. I’ll try and see. I still have to dedicate most of my art juices to the stuff that pays for my rent and food, unfortunately. If I can’t keep up, I’ll dial it down to every other Friday, i.e. 2 releases a month.

Why “Fragments”? The releases won’t always be tightly connected between each other by the plot, yes they vaguely follow the canon timeline, yet many of them will be like glimpses into their everyday life, hence Fragments. I’m aware it’s cheeky, considering the Shards and all that. So, getting that out of the way: Vivi and Raha are NOT fragments of each other! They’re two separate entities, yes, mirrors and missing puzzle pieces of each other, but only that :>

The pages won’t be numbered, but each release I’ll number and put in a comic masterpost for the easy permanent access.

The script’s 20k+ words, some of those are my technical notes, some parts could be dropped, rewritten etc. The major beats are set, the rest’s still a wip. I don’t worry too much about polishing the text right now, I’ll have time for that during the storyboarding. Some scenes will have to be adapted for the visual format anyway. Here’s how my comic folder looks so far.

*screams in terror because chapter 1 INDEED HAS NO NAME YET*

The story itself still mostly takes place in ShB+5.x, save for the chapter 1 which is ARR. I carved out two “time pockets” for ViviRaha to rest and breathe and be happy or angsty in, post-5.0 and post-5.3, chapter 6 and chapters 9 and onward, respectively. Chapter 11 is my personal ShB epilogue. Chapter 12 still happens during the post-5.3 time pocket and focuses on Vivi’s background, by then you should be invested enough to care about that :> Chapter 13 is still tentative, an even deeper dive into Vivi’s past, showing his, gasp, old flames! A bunch of them. And chapter 14, if there’s ever such a thing, would finally move on to Endwalker. But for now I’m staying in my ShB bubble. There’s an in-character reason why I don’t wanna subject Vivi to the Endwalker events just yet. We’ll see. We’re speaking of a behemoth of a story that’ll take several years to get out. I have ample time to think about the later chapters.

Characters? Mostly ViviRaha (what? NO WAY), Alisaie’s the second most visible canon character, followed by Thancred, Lyna and Feo Ul. The Chais, Ardbert, Emet, Alphinaud, Tataru, Y’shtola, Estinien and Urianger have just a few lines. I’d LOVE to have more Urianger, who knows, maybe I can train my writing muscles and wedge more of his scenes in. Ryne and Krile as decorations (sorry!). Cid and Rammbroes in chapter 1. More ocs will appear in chapter 12. Chapter 13 has.... Drumroll...... Aymeric and Haurchefant as Vivi’s old flames. They were important. But you’ll have to survive until THAT late point in time to see them <w< There are some more ocs/npcs as well.

Since I’m looking at the weekly amount of (not always, but often) 10 pages each with 2 frames, I need to think about optimization. I’m not used to monochrome and I LOVE colors, so I wanna try doing something like this. Color is the quick and fun part for me, however, I still need time to train my hand in the lineart department. It won’t be super polished just because I’m not about that, but I wanna be personally happy with my sketchy style. I’d say I’m 70% there.

Drawing them nearly every day, figuring out their proportions and outfits, practicing general anatomy, all is the preparation work. I admit being absolutely lost and terrified in the background department. I’m rather comfy and chill about the natural landscapes, THAT I have no problem with, however, I’m still unsure about the buildings and interiors that I’ll wanna avoid, but I’ll have to draw at least SOME of those. So, yet another slowing down factor. I need more practice.

Fragments will be character- and feels-centric with little to no action/combat since it’d only detract from the story. I’m trying to stay as close to the main point of this comic’s existence as possible. Just feels, lots of them. Various flavors.

More about the technical stuff: ✓ finding/making textures (the slight overlay to avoid the flat, "digital” look) ✓ making and testing a storyboard template ✓ doodling cover ideas (atm 8 or so chapters have a cover that I’m happy with) - picking a font (or making own) - making frame and bubble templates (normal speech, screaming, thoughts, etc) - finalizing character designs (proportions that I’ll stick with to avoid awkward wobbly style) - finalizing character outfits for the same purpose as above

I’ll never be ultra-completely-ready but this checklist is vital. I’m doodling like crazy to make sure the main characters look exactly how I want them to. Vivi’s more or less complete, but lately I’ve realized that I still can’t draw our beefcake cat bf like I see him in my head, so I’m working on that.

Still no deadlines, I HOPE to start before August but who fucking knows. I’ll talk some more and make a lil countdown once I have at least 3 releases ready to go. Fragments is still my self-indulgence but it’ll span over the next few years. I’ll just start it when I’ve figured out the bare minimum and flail my way from there on :’D

Fragments already has its own tag where you can see some standalone comics and illustrations that I deem fully canon. Those posts also have a chapter tag, which should help situating each event on the broader timeline.

[biisexualemma]

tired pt.2. bucky barnes

word count: 2.3k

warnings: violence, mentions of blood

requested: n/a

plot: you get injured during the mission to locate karli

a/n: so this is sort of a part 2 to the winter soldier imagine i wrote! i'm gonna be posting a part 3 soon too, i'm pretty much following each episode lol, this is obviously episode 4, and then next part with follow episode 5! hope you enjoy! i am very much enjoying writing for bucky atm! let me know what you think anyway! (sorry if there are any minor mistakes i cannot read this over again i am tired lol)

pt.1 / pt.3 / pt.4 masterlist

you knew this was a bad idea. any idea that involved trusting zemo was bad. which you had reiterated to your team multiple times now, but here you still were, relying on zemo to get to karli. to top it all off, captain america and his nosey sidekick had found you guys, somehow, and invited themselves to tag along. too much toxic masculinity was floating around in the air when john walker tagged along anywhere, it was suffocating. made you wanna punch him whenever he opened his mouth and that arrogant, condescending tone came out. that, and he was resolved to shamelessly coming onto you whenever he spoke to you. you were sure he only did it so he could feel more in control of the situation. you tried not to let it get to you, but sometimes he was plain insufferable.

bucky already hated walker with every fibre of his being, and he definitely didn't take kindly to his flirting with you either. the only thing holding either of you back from decking walker was sam, and his level head. but you were constantly stealing subtle glances and touches with one another when you could without bringing too much attention to it. you had both decided it would only make things way more complicated during this mission if your relationship was out in the open. there were too many things that could go wrong, you definitely didn't want your relationship to be used against you. so only sam remained in the loop. everyone else was blind to your affection for the super soldier, and his for you.

the blonde haired fraud and his right-hand man, had somehow managed to make everything ten times worse again. you found yourself scouring the building, looking for karli, after mr-i-have-jurisdiction charged into the room where sam had been having a, somewhat productive, conversation with the girl. he barged in there, throwing around hollow threats, like karli would cave and come lightly after everything. he was ignorant and he was an idiot and you could've killed him for screwing up another mission.

you held your gun at arms length, kicking the door open in front of you, edging your way in, eyes scoping the room for any signs of movement. it was empty. you lowered your gun, making your way across the floor to the door leading to the next room. "east wing is clear so far, one last room to check and then i'll circle back to the stair--"

your words caught in your throat as a grunt left your mouth, feeling the blunt impact to the back of your head. you stumbled forwards, clumsily spinning around to see one of karli's super soldiers towering over you, an old pipe gripped in his hand. you quickly lifted your gun to shoot but the bullet hit the ceiling when he swung the pipe, knocking the weapon out of your hand.

you gritted your teeth, your head was throbbing where the pipe had made contact, and now you were weaponless. you ducked swiftly as he swung the pipe at you once again. you dived forwards, trying to catch him off guard and using your full force to tackle him. ordinarily, this would have knocked him off his feet and you would have used the upper hand to locate your gun and seize it before he could recover.

but this guy, unfortunately for you, was far from ordinary. he was significantly stronger than you were.

"all clear, y/n?" sam's voice echoed in your ear through the comms but you were far too distracted by your current predicament to answer him straight away.

"shit," you mumbled under your breath. the man had barely flinched, before switching it on you. before you could retreat, his arms grabbed your torso and you were halted, heaved off of your feet. "i need backup!" you shouted desperately into your comms, hoping one of them would turn up sooner rather than later. his grip was painfully strong as you tried to scramble out of his hold. but, with almost no strain on his behalf, he hurled you across the room, your body slamming into the brick wall and crumpling against the hard floor.

you let out a wheeze, you felt like the air had been knocked right out of you, and you definitely heard something crack. you clutched your side, wincing as you clumsily dodged the blows he threw at you, trying to clamber away from him. you had to pull yourself together, get up and get to your gun before this escalated any further.

you propped yourself up onto your arms, pushing yourself back and away from the super soldier towering over you. "sam, buck," your breathing was laboured as you tried to reach them again, after hearing no response from your initial plea for help. "east wing. i'm unarmed. super soldier with a pipe and a mean swing-- i need backup-- now."

you cringed, sharp pains rushing from your chest the further you dragged yourself away from the soldier. that was when you noticed the gash along his calf, blood soaking his pants. that was your ticket. you waited for him to swing again, dodging it only by a split second, but took your window and kicked as hard as you could at the open wound on his leg. he let out a loud groan, his leg collapsing under the shock of the pain.

you, however, scrambled as quick as you could, onto your feet and ran to the gun sitting on the floor behind him. before you got too far, your legs were swept out from under you as the soldier grabbed your ankle, your face slamming into the concrete floor as you fell. you let out a groan, followed by a soft whimper, blood now pooling from your nose. you desperately stretched out a hand for the gun that was just out of your reach. his grip tightened on your ankle, you felt yourself being hauled backwards before you lunged one last time for your weapon.

your hand clasped around the gun, twisting yourself onto your back, not hesitating to fire at the super-soldier attached to your limb. the bullet fired straight into his shoulder, he let out a shriek of pain, his grip lost on your ankle. you hurried as far away from him as you could on your hands and knees, your breathing shaky and uneven as the adrenaline coursed through you.

you sat still, legs brought up to your chest, your breathing heavy as you watched the super soldier grip his shoulder, trying to stop the bleeding. you held the gun up, directed at him in case he made any more movements. you were panting, your hand moving to your head, wincing as the throbbing pain started to return, and your comedown ensued.

"oh shit," you heard from the doorway. "shit," he muttered harshly, his footsteps drawing nearer to you. you were preoccupied, the pain was spreading quicker now that your heart rate was slowing down. you felt the sharpness in your ribs every time you took a breath in, ringing in your ears growing louder and the throbbing in your nose intensifying as blood dripped onto your shirt.

you flinched when his hand brushed up against yours, your unsteady hands still gripped tightly around your gun. "hey," he whispered, you only just about heard his soft voice echo over the ringing. you noticed the familiar metal hand grazing yours and your grip loosened, letting him remove the gun from your hand. your eyes trailed up to his comfortingly familiar, blue eyes. you let out a soft sigh of relief, cracking a weak smile.

"took your time," you mumbled, teasingly, trying to ease some of the tension you were feeling. you moved your hand to your mouth, blood transferring onto your fingertips from where it had trickled from your nose onto your lips. you let out a halfhearted, tired, chuckle, your face contorting as the pain in your chest intensified. you were relieved that it was over, and that he had been the one to find you. you let out a strained breath, "i'm gonna need one hell of a drink when this is all over."

bucky, however, was examining every inch of you, his eyes shifting all over you, frowning as he found more blood the more places he looked. he watched your hands shake as you touched your lips, the lump grew in his throat. he knew you were trying to make light of the situation, to ease his mind but he could tell you were hurting, a lot.

he moved his hand to your face, his thumb brushing your cheek. his stomach lurched when your eyes met his again, the blood soaking your face was a sight he never wanted to have to see again after today. as impossible as that would be in this line of work. "let's get you fixed up, then we'll see about that drink, alright, doll?" his voice was soft, quiet when he spoke to you. you nodded, reassurance slowly washing over you with his fingers caressing your cheek. his touch was more comforting to you than he'd ever realise.

he dragged his eyes away from yours, over to the super soldier who was still squirming, his hand clamped over the wound in his shoulder. bucky glanced at you for a split second, his expression harder than before. you knitted your eyebrows delicately, noticing the shift in his temper. "wait here," he mumbled, his jaw twitching as he moved away from your side. you felt cold with the loss of contact.

bucky moved to tower over the super solider, his head tilting slightly, not hesitating for even a second as he raised his leg, quickly slamming the heel of his foot against his face. the solider dropped back onto the ground, now unconscious. "stay down," he mumbled under his breath.

"c'mon, we gotta' find sam and zemo first," he ignored your amused expression, helping you onto your feet.

-

you'd returned to the hotel room now you had zemo in your custody again. zemo was nursing his headache with a glass of whiskey, sam busying himself with something on his laptop, and bucky had pulled you into the bathroom to help clean you up.

"how ya' feelin', doll?" he quirked an eyebrow at you, positioning you so you were seated, while he hovered over you. he busied himself, soaking a cloth in warm water so he could tend to your wounds. you shrugged, lowering your gaze to where your hands sat in your lap, shaking less now you'd had that drink.

"i'll be fine," you muttered, unconcerned with your well being for now. your mind was swimming with thoughts on how you were going to handle the karli situation. no doubt, walker would be knocking around soon too, just to make things harder for you guys, and probably try and twist the story around to make it seem like karli getting away had nothing to do with him.

bucky wasn't convinced by your answer, but he didn't push you. instead, his hand moved to your chin, using his forefinger and thumb to tilt your head upwards. you saw his jaw clench before he started to wipe away the dried blood from your face. you flinched when he touched the bridge of your nose, recoiling from his touch. "ow, that kinda' hurt," you admitted.

"suck in your breath," he instructed, his jaw stiff as he spoke. "if i don't clean it up now it'll only get worse," you just nodded, doing as he said. you held your breath, biting the inside of your cheek as he cleaned up the rest of the blood (his spare hand moving to the back of your neck to stop you from pulling away). "all done," you let out your breath, your eyes were watery, a reflex from the sensitivity of your bruised nose. "y'good?"

you nodded, letting yourself fall forward, resting your forehead against his stomach, trying to disguise the range of emotions you were feeling. he let out a sigh, his hand still tucked around the back of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair. "you don't have to keep up this act," he spoke after a while. exhausted, you let him hold you up, relaxing yourself against him. "it's just me."

you sniffled, pulling back to look up at him. he felt his chest tighten at the sight of your bruised face, stinging red eyes and pink cheeks. you weren't often vulnerable with anyone, but you were so worn out from everything going on, and bucky was looking at you in a way that made you feel so safe, you couldn't help but let go a little.

"i'm just tired, buck," your voice wavering. he moved both hands to either side of your face, pushing your hair out of the way. he cupped your cheeks, his thumbs brushing against your flushed skin. you relished in his touch, comforted by the warmth he was radiating, soothing you. "this missions been hard."

"i know, doll," he hummed, his gaze softening watching you relax against his palms, your eyelids drooping shut. he gulped. "let's get you clean, then you can get some rest."

you hummed softly. "thanks, buck," he took a step back, his hands leaving your face for a second. you hastily moved your hands to his, stopping him from moving further away from you. "no," your voice came out hushed. "just a bit longer," you pleaded, you weren't ready to let go of his comfort just yet.

bucky simply nodded, moving his hands back to either side of your face, letting your head fall against his stomach again. he raked his fingers through your hair soothingly, holding you for as long as you needed. he was just relieved you felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with him, it meant you felt just as much for him as he did for you.

[tacobellabeanburrito]

Welcome To My Blog!

Hey! I’m making another pinned post because the one that I originally did got lost to my reblogging so yeah. 

Aloha! I’m Raina (or Raine) and I draw, sing, dance, write and act! But I don’t really post a lot of the stuff I write or draw, although I have finally gotten around to posting my writings, I don’t think I have the confidence to post my art yet. I’m also 18! (Thought it was about time I put my age in my bio)

Fandoms I’m Into ATM: Gravity Falls, Sonic, Hunter x Hunter, Ducktales, The Three Caballeros, Ouran High School Host Club, Fullmetal Alchemist, Buddy Daddies, The Millionaire Detective: Balance Unlimited, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Hazbin Hotel, FNAF, The Umbrella Academy, My Little Pony, Sanders Sides, Clarence, Wander Over Yonder, Craig of the Creek, Mario, Kirby, Hamilton, Dan Vs, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Villainous, Minecraft: Storymode, Ace Attorney, Hazbin Hotel, Sk8 The Infinity, Tomodachi Life, SpongeBob SquarePants, Stardew Valley, Good Omens, Vinesauce, Markiplier, Undertale, Total Drama, Deltarune and many more!

I’m mostly just into books, movies, musicals, cartoons and video games in general!

Most of my posts are reblogs, but sometimes I’ll post random shit that happens to me (especially rants, vents and school related stuff) and some of my drawings and writings, so don’t mind that. (Also, sorry if my reblogging is too much, I reblog ALOT of shit, so sorry if it’s annoying) and if you want someone to talk to or wanna be friends, just hit me up! My blog is also a safe space for everyone (except for the usual gross people like p*dos, incest shippers, the like) I hope you enjoy your stay! (I also don’t usually tag my reblogs, sometimes I will but only for little comments I make)

And in case I don’t see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight! (PS, if you are the IRS or are sent by the IRS just know that I will not be paying taxes)

Oh also, if you ever get on my blog on the computer, tell me what song you got on my playlist! Whatever song you get is you if you were a song.

Oh right, here are a few of my fanfics if you’re interested.

Experiment 47: The Copier Machine: Ford is lonely. Very, very lonely. And as much as he didn’t want to admit it... He missed his twin. So, what’s the most logical way to deal with repressed emotions instead of sucking up your pride and actually trying to make up with your twin? Build a cloning machine, of course. (Basically my theory on how the cloning machine in the Mystery Shack came to be)

The New Look Turnabouts: As time goes on, Miles and Phoenix end up changing their iconic looks (Either by accident or on purpose) and every time they end up falling more in love with each other.

Restless In Los Kyoto: After Phoenix sends his radio message to Miles, he doesn't exactly expect anything to come from it. And he especially doesn't expect to get a response back.

Hijinks & Shenanigans Will Ensue: Little snippets in the lives of our favorite Ace Attorney characters. Some stories will be based on official artworks, others are based on my own ideas. Some will even be Aus. All of them will be drabbles and little ficlets.

Fic requests are always open! It just might take me a while to get to them because of motivation, school, theatre, work and other stuff.

Here’s my sideblog btw, it’s the one I use for my more explicit fanfics and when I have to say explicit stuff that I don’t want on my main: https://www.tumblr.com/cowabungaits-drshrimppuertorico.

Also, here’s some quizzes I made! 

https://uquiz.com/fZWBsK (what do you live for?)

https://uquiz.com/eCH3HW (which member of my family are you?)

https://uquiz.com/v2O6Sp (would i let you introduce me to a new type of media i haven’t seen and that you like)

https://uquiz.com/m1NZOq (you answer stuff and i decide what unknown media i like that i think you’d like)

https://uquiz.com/2ulAQQ (which character from a musical/play that i was in are you)

https://uquiz.com/payRQj (what character are you but it’s my original story characters that will most likely never see the light of day)

Also here’s some of my art (I’ve been posting it recently and it’s been sooo bad I promise I’m good at art guys look)

(It’s a pencil drawing of a photorealistic balloon)

[franeridart]

Anon said: Do you have any more of the comics where Kiri's cat gets into Bakugo's apartment?? B being a dumbass is adorable hrnfjf

I don’t, sorry!! But the very amazing extremely skilled chonideno wrote a whole wonderful fic on it, so you can read that if you want more!! I still can’t believe she did that for me ily mag ;;;

Anon said: kirishima with......... a braid

Honestly the best thought horikoshi should get on that already 🙏

Anon said: i think... that bakugo should give kirishima a sleeby nose smooch..... as a treat.........

Anon said: hello it is i, sleeby nose kiss anon, and i want to say that kiri should also get to wear bakugo's sweatshirt. as a treat. i think he deserves it.

I think kirishima deserves anything and everything in the world and then some so honestly yes, bakugou should absolutely do that! It’d be very soft and it’d make me very happy

Anon said: your blog is a kirishima fucking goldmine thank you for your service in these dark ass times

I’m very glad you enjoy my indulging myself for the past 4+ years hahahaha the more kirishima there is in the world the better, that’s for sure 💕

Anon said: WHAT is your drawing process please reveal your secrets I am b e g g i n g you

It’s nothing complicated, honestly! I sketch out a very rough idea of what I want to draw, then line it as loosely and smoothly as I can manage, add flat colors on another layer, shadows on a multiply layer clipped on the flats one, and then adjust the light/intesity of the colors with a airbrush tool on an overlay layer - it’s really the simplest process known to human artist hahaha I posted a step by step on my patreon at some point, but maybe one day I’ll find a way to make a process video and show you guys how I do it.................... maybe if I’ll ever get to buy an ipad, that’d make my life easier

Anon said: OH MY GODYOUR VIGILANTE AU JUST-- HSJXJDJDJS THESE IDIOTS

So very glad people are still finding and liking that one! I had fun for the little it lasted, it was a very self-indulgent au haha

Anon said: Your art is honeslty the only thing keeping me going atm cause I'm going through a tough time rn and your kiribaku art just 🥰🥰🥰 also what program do you use?? I've cycled through so many and I cannot for the life of me find a good one

Thank you so much! I use easy pain tool sai, which is the easiest, most simple program I could find since I’m easily overwhelmed by too complicated things lol it’s got its shortcomings but it works perfectly for the little I have to do :D

Anon said: so i, like, keep going back and reading and re-reading that really long kiribaku comic (the one where kiri won't let baku kiss him) and everything about it makes me happy!! like, your art is already such a delight to look at but you also write them so well and it makes my heart feel all bright and happy and that comic feels like a culmination of all of that and i just feel like '!!!!!!!' everytime

Oh god I nearly forgot about that one, I loved that comic! Had so much fun making it and it was so satisfying to post it 😭😭 I’m happy you still like it and go look at it!! feels very very good to know, thank you! ;;; <3

Anon said: you draw touches, like hugs and stuff, and remind me that i'm a bit touch-starved and i honestly can't say i regret it

Sorry I hope this means that you don’t regret looking at my art even if it reminds you of being touch-starved because I’m!!!! glad to hear that??? though I really hope you’ll get to be hugged soon, anon! ;;;;

Anon said:For some of your black/white art (lineart), do you mind if people color it with proper credit?I like to color manga panels, and I really like your art, so, along with crediting you, is it okay if I color your peices?

I’m not a hundred per cent opposed to it, but I’d prefer it if you could ask before doing so telling me specifically which piece we’re talking about! Cause there’s a couple I’d prefer didn’t get reposted in any form or way, after all ;;

Anon said: I was looking through the jujutsu kaisen tag and found you and looked through some of your recent art and I was about to follow you and then I realized I already followed you for your bnha stuff

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! glad to hear I could make you want to follow me twice over, then!!! 😁

Anon said: Reminder to drink water and relax, overworking yourself isn’t healthy and we all need time to wind down!

Anon thank you!!!!!!!! The same goes to you, take care of yourself!! <3

Anon said: you are the light by nine lashes has me feeling kiribaku feelings and i have not a single person around me who i can tell ;n;

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH I absolutely do know the feel, please feel free to come cry about them in my inbox whenever you’d like anon ( TT^TT)9

Anon said: Could you do a tutorial on lineart? Yours is so clean I’m jealous

It’s not like I don’t want to, it’s just that there’s very little to it I could actually make a tutorial about? I try to keep my sketches vague and simple to not trap myself in the need to make the line look exactly identical to the sketch, and I try to keep my lines as long and uninterrupted as possible, let my hand kind of go the way it feels most comfortable to it if that makes sense, and I use ctrl+z A Lot to be sure the line flows the way I want it to in the direction I want it to go, and that’s honestly all there is to it! It’s not really about technique as much as it is about letting yourself keep as loose and fast as possible while putting down the lines, I really have no idea how else to explain it I’m sorry m(._.)m

Anon said: Sorry if this is an overasked question, but... what are your pronouns? I don’t wanna misgender you -.-

she/her! and don’t worry, you asking is no bother :D

Anon said: can ppl send, like, random hcs or thoughts to you? not like, drawing requests, you don't take those i know, but just because?

Hell yeah, please do!! I love to hear thoughts and headcanons, it makes my own creativity itch to get to work!! 

[sinnabee]

Any people you look up to on Tumblr ? :)

YEAH and i’m not gonna tag them because i’m about to be embarrassing as fUCK but

1. caffeinewitchcraft - absolutely incredible author, everything they post on here gives me damn shivers when i read it. my favorite prompt fill they’ve posted is one about having made up a language as a kid but you meet somebody who also knows the language you thought you made up. again - CHILLS. they just have so many wonderful ideas and their writing can really just grab ahold of you and take you on a journey, it’s amazing!

2. luckystarchild/luckychild - this is my FAVORITE fanfic author EVER. i love their yyh fanfic lucky child! i have re-read it several times (tho i am currently behind on the updates atm) and UGH i just love their writing so much!!!! again, another incredible author that i just super adore. it makes ME want to write when i read their writing! (and re-read their writing, because even if yyh isn’t my current hyperfixation atm, their writing is so fantastic. i can almost always just go back and re-read their stuff and love it all over again, i’m never not in the mood for it. :D)

3. bamsara - aaaaaaaaah i love bam’s art so much. like literally i know their fic only JUST dragged me into this sun and moon hyperfixation, but there’s also a really WILD overlap of interests?? they write (and draw) for invader zim, too, and they also love (as far as i can tell) lilo and stitch. and like??? that’s 1. my favorite movie ever and 2. my FIRST fandom ever. and their art style just gives me life?? and their writing??????? holy fuck! bam is just really incredible all around and they do SO much, even though they constantly have people stealing their art and are frustrated by dealing with that. i just think they’re super cool and talented and i frequently scroll through their art tag abshsajkd they have so many funny ideas that they turn into comics and put in their fics;;; all around just. yeah. cool. god i’m so embarrassing

4. shandzii - again, another SUPER incredible artist who’s work and art style i adore. i CRAVE. iirc they are an animator on helluva boss? which i LOVE???? and their art-style (much like helluva boss) is that wonderful cartoony style SO reminiscent of invader zim era animation (i think i am NO expert) and their stuff is pretty much ALWAYS colored, and AHHH THEIR ANIMATIONS - just a lot of incredible art i adore basically!!!! every time i see one of their animations it makes me want to try my hand at animating too, tho i have a problem with any project that can’t be finished in one sitting lol. tho i’m working on that!!! another artists that tbh when i look at their stuff it makes ME wanna draw more and improve my art :D

5. gigiree - my friend!!!!!! gigi is an INCREDIBLE author that i’ve been so SUPER DUPER LUCKY to befriend through her fic, and we’ve known each other for years now. (which is WILD to think about omg) she’s super talented and super kind, and i love throwing around ideas with her and seeing her art and all the CRAZY stuff she does (her COLORS, the elaborate BACKGROUNDS, she ANIMATES)! gigi is one of those authors that inspires ME to write more and also work on my writing, and i’m so glad that we’re bros now omg. honestly just a person that brightens up your life! sometimes i read a line of her writing that just fuckin punches me in the gut and grabs my heart in a death grip because it just, effects you. god damn. she’s incredible! not to be gay, but i’m lucky to know her and ecstatic to be her friend :D

i think those are the main ones! there are a LOT of other authors, artists, and blogs i adore - twinanimatronics, maudiemoods, bones-of-a-rabbit, thebibliosphere, cultureandseptember - those are just a few! But these ones were the first to come to mind, off the top of my head, that i had a LOT to say about. and if i gush about ALL the incredible artists and authors on tumblr that i adore, we’ll be here for days. :D

thanks for the ask anon!!! this was a fun one to answer!!!! i know gigi at the very least is likely gonna see this, but uhhh if any of these other ones do too just know that i may be embarrassed but i stand by what i said, y’all incredible :D

[keii]

Random long update post about my life i guess? LOL

Been enjoying messing with tamagotchis lately!!! I’ve always wanted ones with a colored screen, so I caved and bought some Tamagotchi On and it’s SO fun! Like, I just play with a lil pixel friend and can marry them off. It’s a commitment, but also, easy to just take a breather from my day to see how they’re doing and then continue working on whatever I was doing. I also downloaded the MyMeets thing bc I kinda want to try and make my own pixel bg bc wouldn’t that be cute??? Would also want to commission Poo for one as well bc I always liked their pixel works. I’ve also wanted a Sanrio Meets one, but they’re SO expensive, so I’m going to wait a bit before buying one. I really want to marry Sanrio meets tamas to my On and I think it would be cute to see. The blue one is technically my fiances (though I’m the one that mostly looks out for it) and the other one is mine. I named my first tama child Denjitchi, after Denji from Chainsaw Man bc I read that a couple weeks back and FELL IN LOVE. I really love the characters and world, and it’s how I felt with Dorohedoro, where the world seems so dire? But the character relationships are so fun and you get attached to so many. I also really love how it’s violent, but also fun??? Not only that but the concept fo their abilities are weird in a cool way, the devils are kinda freaky too and I love that. Also love the entrance of the Darkness Devil and the name itself made me laugh bc u know. LMAO-- I like the sense of dark humor it has. After that, I made sure to preorder both Denji and Power nendoroids bc I love their relationship the most! I wonder if there’s gonna be a part 2... I need it, after the heartbreak I experienced with Aki...

I also figured out how to buy nijisanji goods, so I caved and bought chronoir kuma rubber charms and they’re so cute, I don’t want to take em out of their plastic-- I have no idea where I want to hang these either bc I don’t want them to get dirty or lost bc they’re expensive. I also preordered two Kuzuha nendoroids from different sites (bc they have different preorder bonus LMFAO) along with Himawari nendo bc I like her too and I swear nendos NEVER really caught my attention before, but for SOME REASON goodsmile started coming out with REALLY good ones that appealed to me and now I find myself wanting a new one every month??? Smh, calm down!! Anyway, Idk why I like vtubers-- something about watching someone with a cute anime avatar just doing something so mundane such as playing video games or singing is a nice comfort to me ever since quarantine happened. Like not only that, but all the Holostar goods I ordered months ago are all finally being shipped and idk where the heck I’m gonna put those either LMAO.

Hmm what else, in February, I got a instax printer thingy and I’m having fun testing out how my art works look on it! I think it would be cute to make personalize polaroid pics for others too as a commission, though I’m a lil hesitant atm because it’s kind of hard to not have the colors too washed out. When I was testing it on Kii, I had to bring the brightness down along with increasing the saturation and contrast just so that his colors wouldn’t be so washed out! 

Besides talking to close friends, I’ve been keeping mostly to myself on social media, not even posting art everyday, which is nice, but also social media has skewed my relationship with art where if I’m not posting it, then I’m just wasting time. I’m still trying to get over the fact that I’m not just an artist and that I’m allowed to venture out into new things and work on projects myself without having to post every single detail about it on the internet. Every since I graduated university, I shifted from just drawing all the time to having more time to find more interests outside of art. Sushi and Poo convinced me to do journaling as well, so I started that in February and it’s been fun to write down unfiltered thoughts, even though it’s a mess, along with making random spreads. I enjoy being able to still be creative without having to post it, you know? I’m still trying to find my flow when it comes to balancing commissions and my own projects and interests-- I have to keep myself accountable with my own schedule.

There are so many things I want to do, but it’s easy to feel so overwhelmed that I end up not doing any of it at all and reverting back to whatever I’ve always done. I enjoy immersing myself in my work, my projects, my interests. I want to do that, but at the same time I do need to be active on social media from time to time because I still need to do commissions. I like sharing my work to have that connection with others, I just don’t like the pressure of trying to upkeep an audience or anything that social media culture pushes onto people. I guess that’s why I still like tumblr because I can just post whatever and not care too much lol. That’s all I can think of from the top of my head in this convoluted, messy, post about my life (I say this as if it's not some essay or some shit lmao). Nothing really eventful tbh??? Just been doing my own thing and then I would have weekly voice calls with Sushi and Poo and then catch up to other friends once or twice a month.

Hope everyone else is doing well~

[dontcallmecarrie]

Hi! I love your By Dawn’s Early Light series, and I am wondering what Tony and Maria are going to do about Shield. Given that they both adhere to a brand of hyper competent karma, and that pesky agency was both founded by Howard, got in their way multiple times through emps, spies, and forced relocations, and are probably still up to some not so great meddling, I am hoping for them to get some Juno and company brand reckonings.

Please bear in mind that By Dawn's Early Light started out more as a writer's-block-buster than anything else, because of a spite-inspired "lol wouldn't it be funny if one of the moms that got fridged derailed the entire MCU without even trying?" that ended up coming with a side of found family fluff even as things got serious.

It didn't originally have a plot, like 90% was just me going "hey, wouldn't it be cool if [insert thing here] happened?" and spitballing and messing around because my WIPs weren't cooperating and I needed to switch gears for a moment.

Most of my fics, I have a hard outline and overarching plot and theme song going on before I post the first chapter. Not this time, though; when I started this AU, all I knew was that I wanted at least one (1) fic that explored some themes about abuse and found family fluff in a super-specific way I hadn't seen in fanfic before, so I just put the theme song on loop and started writing.

...which is now technically two [maybe three?] different AUs, because a while back when I was first writing my coding nightmare fic [aka my seven-different-AUs-in-a-trenchcoat fic, By Myself But Not Alone], part of me went "hey, you know what would be fun? If the original team of the MCU got dropped into this mess!"

Which, of course, resulted in a convoluted mess because partway through I realized I'd need to differentiate them more if I didn't want to get bored.

So now I have 3 AUs going on: the original premise, By Dawn's Early Light, as well as two spinoffs.

In the original, I... am still kinda drawing a blank because, again, this wasn't meant to be anything more complex than a writer's-block-buster. The plot went sideways from the start and I can count on one hand how many more scenes I'm interested in exploring, one of them being "Howard gets punched", but overall I kinda wrote myself into a corner because I have no idea how it's going to end.

In theory, there should be some Big Confrontations— but ehhh some of the themes in that AU are hitting way too close to home atm, so lol not touching that mess anytime soon.

again, this AU's focus was originally meant to be found family fluff

For the spinoffs, Howard Stark's going down, full stop.

The specifics are going to differ slightly depending on the AU in question, but one way or another, his career's days are numbered. In at least one of those AUs, SHIELD isn't going to be his ally; outside machinations have made it so that he's going to kind of be hoisted by his own petard.

[thewhizzyhead]

HELLO SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED MISFITS AND SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED GRADE 11 (i posted about that musical draft thingy back in march and um yea there have been a lot of changes fjxjf) AND GUESS WHAT DUDES I HAVE MORE MUSICAL CONCEPT SHITS TO RAMBLE ABOUT BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS WAY TOO HYPERACTIVE FOR MY OWN GOOD SO SIT BACK, RELAX AND ENJOY THIS CLUSTERFUCK

@ari-is-anxious have fun with this and i wish you the best of luck in trying to comprehend this-

+ Kasaysayan (which means History) - this is the 2nd musical concept thingy i made (the first one being Misfits) and yea i started thinking of this went I was 14. I kinda wanted it to tell a story of like the entirety of philippine history as narrated by students and i wanted to kinda emphasize how history has many faces and how many different factors essentially blur our perspective of what we view as the past. I also wanted to like draw parallels between what our ancestors have experienced and what we currently experience esp when it comes to sociopolitical and economic stuffs and I wanted to like correct a lot of misconceptions about ph history and provide more insight and info about ph's past (i.e how centuries of colonialism have affected our current culture and overall social mindset esp in regards to our want for validation from foreigners aka the whole #PinoyPride thing; how even though activism and revolution is like the main reason on as to why the Philippines even exists, it continues to be demonized here; the ideologies of some of our revolutionary heroes and presidents and why some of them are dicks; etc etc). Also I wanted to showcase like um PH music, art, and dance and how that has progressed and also regressed throughout the years (*shakes fist at colonizers*) and um YEA YOU CAN SEE WHY I EVENTUALLY AND RATHER QUICKLY DISCONTINUED THIS TJCJSJF THIS IS *NOT* DOABLE AT ALL THSJFHF it could work as a concept album and a one-time performance BUT NOT LIKE A LEGIT PRODUCTION SO YEA FOR NOW IT WILL STAY IN THE DRAFT FOLDER FJXNSJF but yea this idea then led to the next two ideas woo

+ Noli/Fili - started wanting to make this at the start of quarantine so like um march 2020 heck i even made a wholeass word doc for this fjdjdv so it's basically a ph-rock-rap-based musical adaptation of Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere (Touch Me Not) and El Filibusterismo (The Filibuster) (yes these two novels are like tne national novels here since rizal is our national here and yea these were originally written in Spanish) but the protagonist of El Fili (Simoun) takes charge of telling Noli's story in Act 1 while Noli's protag (Crisostomo Ibarra) takes charge of telling Fili's story in Act 2. Those two books have very different tones and those two characters have um VERY DIFFERENT world views so i thought it would be interesting to tell one's story through the eyes of someone different and yet also the same to provide a lot more insight on how the events in the novels affected these two protags (there is a Good Reason for this and um Filipinos who studied this in 9th and 10th grade know what i'm talking about fhshf if u wanna um know what i'm talking about and don't wanna read the novels (they are very long) i suggest looking up El Filibusterismo and um yea check out Simoun fjsjf). Like for example, there would be times that Noli's narrator (Simoun) (whose general demeanor is like um a lot more cunning and cynical and a lot more resentful of the events that have happened compared to Fili's narrator) would directly question the Noli protag's (Ibarra) actions while Fili's narrator (Ibarra) (he is a lot more um hopeful and peaceful compared to Simoun) often questions how Fili's protag (Simoun) turned into well um a very cynical and cunning person with a taste for revenge (I am trying my hardest to NOT spoil the novels here gjdjf) and yea because the story is set in Spanish Colonial times here, i wanna focus more on the sociopolitical aspects and problems in the novels and how those still remain relevant here, hence the ph-rock-rap-based music. Also I would like to point out that the curriculum here barely like goes into depth about the subject matter of the novels (esp the sociopolitcal parts) and how said subject matter shaped the characters here and HOW EVERY SINGLE THING IN THIS DAMN NOVEL IS STILL RELEVANT,,,so um basically the curriculum is currently missing the entire point of the novels since Rizal wrote these two with the intent to provide socioecononic and political commentary on the pure shit that many of the Filipinos experienced under Spanish colonial rule,,,SO THIS THINGY IS BASICALLY MY MIDDLE FINGER TO THE CURRICULUM AND ESSENTIALLY MY ATTEMPT TO SHOW MORE OF THE NOVELS COMPARED TO WHAT HAS BEEN TAUGHT TO US FJJSJFV this is gonna be a nightmare to write tho cause wow those novels are jampacked

+ Patron - if this ever becomes a thing, I will consider it the greatest thing i'll ever write gjcjdbc I REALLY WANT THIS TO BE A THINGY AAAA so the plot is barebones atm but it's basically about journalism and activism here in the Philippines (and how both can get you killed fjjsjf i'm not kidding these two can legit get you killed wah redtagging sucks shit and the anti terror law can suck even more shit) and how the youth are expected to be purveyors of the country's advancement and improvement despite the fact that our voices are oftentimes dismissed and even permanently silenced when what we say goes against what those in power want us to say,,,those this is basically Misfit's spiritual successor fjxjdjf both of those musicals share similar themes fjxns so yea expect me ranting about a lot of political stuff here and a lot of talking about the ideologies of past and present politics and revolutions and how those affect the masses and how the masses can shape them in return. There will also be talk on how journalism's role in shaping society and how proper dissemination of information and lack thereof can affect people's mindsets aND HOW JOURNALISM IS OFTENTIMES MANIPULATED TO MANIPULATE PEOPLE'S MINDSETS (STUDENT JOURNALIST AND ASPIRING PROFESSIONAL JOURNALIST'S RANTS GO BRRRRR YEA I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT).

Oh and also this musical is heavily inspired by both the noli and el fili novels and by spring awakening (Everything I Write Will Be Inspired By Spring Awakening dbjxd) in a sense that Act 1's active protagonist (who then becomes Act 2's passive protag) is named Elias and is based on both Elias from Rizal's novels and on Melchior Gabor (which is funny cause rizal's elias is NOTHING LIKE MELCHIOR GABOR SO UM LOOK IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO EXPLAIN JUST UM YEA IT'S MESSY) while the passive protagonist (who becomes the active protag by the end of act 1 and throughout the entire 2nd act) is named Cris Ibarra and is based on Moritz Stiefel and Rizal's Ibarra (more specifically um Rizal's Ibarra's growth into a very different character throughout the events of the two novels).

ALSOOO there is this one concept that made me really REAALLY want to make Patron an actual thingy and that is the existence of um Shadows in the show. Inspired by the voices in Deaf West Speing Awakening, these Shadows can always be found lurking on stage alongside their respective characters like um if Elias is in a scene, his shadow can also be found on stage somewhere. I kinda want them to like represent the characters' innermost thoughts and the other parts of themselves the characters' would like to hide through how the Shadows act on stage and um yea choreography gjsjf Patron is porbably gonna be very dance heavy so um yea it's a bit hard to explain so i'll just point to Alex Boniello and Daniel Durant's Moritz fjxjjf i kinda want it to be like that. The Shadows would be part of the show's ensemble and um yea lots of dancing and prop moving woo also at times they would be singing for the character they are assigned to like um while Elias would be in the middle of doing something on stage, his Shadow would be the one singing in his stead and when his Shadow sings, that's when the character becomes the most vulnerable to the audience because the Shadows often expose their characters' thoughts and worries to the audience that the characters themselves wouldn't really express. So like um the Shadows address the audience a lot gjxjsjd except for one aka Ibarra's Shadow. Instead of addressing the audience, Ibarra's shadow addresses IBARRA directly, often questioning Ibarra's actions (especially their hesitance in Act 1). ig ibarra's shadow is rather representative of what Ibarra would turn into in Act 2 when they take over as the Active protag. But um Ibarra's shadow still questions Ibarra frequently esp in regards to their risky actions so um yea Ibarra's shadow is kinda like the Fates the hadestown wherein they serve to sow doubt but over here Ibarra's shadow is meant to symbolize how insecure they feel in regards to their decisions which well, as the protag, make and break the show. Also um yea the rest of the characters' shadows also start addressing their characters more while the characters themselves start addressing the audience more so woo switcheroo! Also the dynamic that the characters have with each other is similar to the dynamics between the kids in Spring Awakening wherein they are just kids (well in this cause young adults aged 18-20) trying to figure out life in general and all that so woo

(also I would like to note that I really want Ibarra's role to be open to all genders in order to like make a statement that anyone can grow into the character Ibarra becomes throughout Patron but rn hmm i'm still thinking about how that will play out especially given that I kinda wanted Patron's Ibarra to have two love interests here aka Elias and Clara (kiiiiinda based on Maria Clara aka Ibarra's actual love interest from Rizal's novels but um YEA THERE ARE A LOT OF DEVIATIONS GJXSF) but tbh i'm still figuring out a way to make Clara have a much larger role here in terms of pushing the plot cause rn the Elias and Ibarra dynamic have an advantage since um active-passive protagonist switcheroo so I'm kinda thinking of a way to make Clara a secret 3rd protag that is both an active and a passive one? I dunno fjsjd honestly i'm still trying to figure out what Maria Clara represents in the novels cause I know for certain that Rizal did not write her to be a mere demure love interest so um yea WORK IN PROGRESS AND UM ALL IN ALL IBARRA CAN BE PLAYED BY ANY AND ALL GENDERS AND IBARRA IS PANSEXUAL BECAUSE I FUCKING WANT THEM TO BE GJSJJF)

+ Grade 12 - OKI SO LIKE I'VE POSTED ABOUT THIS BEFORE BACK IN MARCH BUT UM I'VE CHANGED SOME STUFF GJXJJD so anyways Grade 12 is well um designed to be a campy-please-don't-take-this-seriously-this-is-just-for-laughs-and-gags musical about 12th graders (i changed the grade to raise the stakes) that makes fun of Filipino TV tropes esp when related to teenagers while also providing a lit more insight on ad to what teenagers go through on a daily basis in terms of trying to grow into the person they want themselves to be while also trying to change to adapt to a world that more often that not goes against them. So yea it's not as heavy as the other musicals, heck I designed this after Preston Max Allen's Carrie 2 musical (dude check it out it has jenny rose baker and it's gold) so woo funsies but i also like this to mean something. Oh and also this is basically me ranting about Everything Wrong In The Philippine Education System (how it more often than not is really detrimental to the students' personal wellbeings through constant overwork and disregard of physical, mental and emotional health issues, its accessibility issues esp the issues experiences by those of the poorer sectors, the um very outdated info at times, how the system perpetuates classism and a shit ton of very detrimental social hierarchy bullshits esp through the implementation of the star sections (speaking as someone who's been in the "lower" sections and has also been in the star sections, I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT THIS ONE OH BOY FUN FACT I WANTED TO MAKE AN ACADEMIC PAPER ON THIS BUT MY 10TH GRADE TEACHER WOULDN'T LET ME) etc etc) plot is mainly barebones atm but um yea here are some of the updates to the characters: Kyla (formerly named Kate), Noel and Ella haven't changed that much but um I've decided to give the Halos Lagi Nalang number to Kyla and Max (nonbinary student that serves as a foil to Kyla in which Max is constantly being denied opportunities that they want while Kyla constantly refuses opportunities that Max wants; also yea i'll be talking about stories that trans and nonbinary students have experienced in both of my high schools through Max cause i really wanna bring attention to how the trans and nonbinary community is really being shat on despite the um sliiight improvement in the way schools treat the (cisgender) members of the lgbtq+ community; also they are just as ambitious as Ella (i envision her to be like um Draft Eva + Riley jfhdf) um yea major plot pusher woo I'd compare them to Draft Eva + Reese but um I Sincerely And Solemnly Promise To Not Screw Them Over In Act 2 fjjxfj) instead because they will be the ones with queerness being a much bigger factor to their individual plotlines compared to Noel and Ella.

The other main characters are um Marco (typical jock dude who's actually one of the more philosophical and introspective characters in the show; i want to like um highlight the whole sports scholarships debacle, how stereotypes can affect how people are treated in real life and also touch on the machismo culture that's um really being enforced here esp with him being an athlete and all; also he's really good friends with Max and through that friendship he learns that him slightly questioning his sexuality is a good thing so yea), Ruben & Lexi (i don't have that much planned for them atm because woo barebones plot but i do imagine them to be initially framed as the more antagonistic characters and have that like stereotype be taken apart as the show goes on esp considering that both are in the "lower sections" and are um more prone to stereotyping) aND A NARRATOR CHARACTER HMMM WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THIS BEFORE GJXJD oki but this Narrator (can be played by any gender as long as the actor IS VERY FUNNY LIKE COMEDIC TIMING IS A *MUST*) is based on the Narrator in PMA's Carrie 2 but I also want the narrator to be like um more crucial to the plot as the story progresses esp as they interact with both the audience and the characters a lot more so like um it's a bit hard to describe their exact role here because um BAREBONES PLOT FJXJD but altho they can't directly affect the story they are telling (cause so far my plan for them is like um they were a former classmate of 7/8 of the characters here but unfortunately they died due to a car accident), they can and do indeed influence the characters in it and all of the characters (except Kyla) know who they are (especially Ruben) so um yea. Also the solo I have planned for them is called Live On (which is um yea a spin off of Move On fjxjd) and through them, I plan to explore the tragedy of unexpected deaths and what happens to those left behind (this will be based on observations and accounts from many of my former schoolmates) and how many have yet to move on and how they choose to live on despite of that because they know that's what their former classmate, schoolmate, and loved on would've wanted.

SO OBVIOUSLY I OWE GRADE 12 TO SIR PRESTON MAX ALLEN GJXJFJD THANK YOU PMA FOR ONCE AGAIN INFLUENCING MY WORK WOO

+ Concepts - oki so this is the only musical so far that i wanna write solely in English nfjsj so this is inspired by Fun Home in which there are like versions of characters in different ages right? Over here there are 2 versions of 6 characters: the 17-18 year old ones, and the 27-28 year old ones. Through them, this musical will explore two main things: (1) the sad and depressing reality of having to give up one's artistic dreams and passions for the sake of practicality and (2) choosing to take a leap of faith and try to grasp on to whatever chances one may have left to live a life that means more than just making ends meet. Act 1 has the teenagers focus on Point 2 while the adults focus on Point 1; Act 2 has the teenagers focus on Point 1 while the adults end up focusing on Act 2. Once again, um barebones plot with even more barebones characters (heck i dont even have NAMES for them gnxnd) but i think it'll be pretty cool to elaborate upon the shitty circumstances here in the ph when it comes to artistic pursuits and how most of the kids I know are terrified of growing up because they don't want to give up dreaming even though that they know that they have to wake up. I also think it'll be cool to point out thay even though that yea situations like these suck, it'll never ever be too late to pick up the pieces and try again cause at the end of the day, life only ends when you say it will end: there will always be chances, you just need to be gutsy enough to grasp them. Also um yea I originally planned to post like a shit ton of poems this month that would basically be the lyrics of the songs that would go into this musical bUT I'M LAZY SO I'M THROWING AWAY THE POSTING SCHEDULE FJXJSJD anyways here r 2 of the poems/songs that i wanna make for this:

+ In 10 Years - a duet between one of the teenagers and their adult counterpart which is um basically the teen singing their optimistic yet really in-depth and mature perspective on chasing Point 2 while the adult sings about Point 1, wishing that they could tell their teen self about how disappointed they will be; i imagine this to be um kinda like the first version of Dear Theodosia but um more intense maybe fjdjf

+ Run - a duet between two teens who are best friends where one girl tries to convince the other to run and play with her in the nearby playground AND YES THIS DUET IS VERY FUCKING GAY JDJSJDF this was um originally part of Grade 12 tbh and it was supposed to be sung by Lexi and it was supposed to be about a 9th grade event that i personally was a part of where um 9th grade student researchers at a research seminar at a different freaking university took over the elementary students' playground when the seminar finished (I SHALL TREASURE THAT MEMORY FOREVER) and um yea it was basically about holding on to your childhood while you still can...aND THEN I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE IT GAY JFJSJSF Lexi is still getting that song about the research seminar event tho but um it won't be Run cause Run basically turned into a song that's not only about holding on to what's left of your childhood but also to the people you treasure that you know you have to leave behind sooner or later and um yea the girl that the one girl tries to convince to go to the playground agrees to that and then boom go duet stylized after 21 and Alone Now + I Don't Care by freaking preston max allen once again woo (i promise that this won't be plagiarism gndnd) (also altho the two girls have to go their separate ways by their graduation, they eventually meet again at the end of act 2 so woo hopeful ending for the sapphics

OKI THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY FHXHSHD THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG OF A RAMBLE GOOD GOD AAAAA SO UM IF ANYONE ELSE MADE IT TO THE END, I ONCE AGAIN WILL SEND YOU A SHIT TON OF CARBONARA-

[zirkkun]

Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

[ramen-hair-denki]

Hi, can you tell me about Characters? Literally anything you want to share, anything you've been thinking about lately, or new realizations about the characters?

Sorry I'm not being very specific, I just got back from work and I am somewhat brain-dead. Please make the answer as long as you feel like writing, atm I would happily read a small novella about your ocs (but no I will not pick up a book, too much work, why, brain?)

Thank you Kace I love youuuuu 💜💜💜

Sorry this took ⏃ while lol, ⟟ was hanging out with my friends and ⟟ have ⏃ lot of characters

I’ll just go down the list of characters ⟟ have so far and give you all the info ⟟ have on them :D

(Disclaimer ⟟ literally have no names for them, ⟟ think the mechanic is going to be Elliot though)

First off we have MC

MC is their placeholder name for now

They are 16 and are an only child

Their parents were super loving, like think the Addams family but not gothic lol. ⟟ have so many ideas about how to show that throughout the story, my favorite idea being them watching an old family video on bubz’s screen.

It would show clips of holidays, big events, and soft moments like dancing in the kitchen. Just overall ⏃ very lovey vibe.

⟟ have ⏃ vivid idea of this being an animated show, so the episode would seem like ⏃ flashback into MCs past, showing their mother and father both working in the medical field, how much they loved each other and MC and just overall ⏃ great family episode before you see the screen go black. You can faintly see the reflection of MCs crying face before the camera switches to their side as they hug their knees, sobbing.

Next up we have this guy, like ⟟ said no names but ⟟ love him

He/they, 17

Kinda ⏃ big brother type, absolutely loves nature and going outside, will ask if you would go on ⏃ hike with him

He’s ⏃ wood worker, picked it up when he was ⏃ freshman and just took off with it. Builds ⏃ lot of the furniture that the group uses in their main house.

They also play the trombone, ⟟ have no idea why ⟟ just think it’s funny, definitely would play loudly to annoy people

They/them 16

They can sew, is really good at paintball, and knows ⏃ LOT about plants

⟟ accidentally started shipping them with the last guy and now ⟟ just think it’s so cute, just the two of them going on hikes, talking about different plants and just enjoying each other company.

They can also play the piano and the drums

Next up is ⏃ character that I’ve technically posted about before because she’s one of my bnha ocs.

⟟ kept ⏃ lot of info ⟟ already had on her, 18 years old, she/her nonbinary, good at self defense and fighting techniques, enjoys reading, and has basic first aid knowledge.

Her best friend is ⏃ trans woman that I’m thinking of naming Sarah after ⏃ trans woman ⟟ know irl :)

18, she/her

She also knows basic self defense because she and her friend took classes together since they were 8

She can cook really well, tends to cook for the whole group if they aren’t feeding themselves

She doesn’t like thunderstorms and usually needs to have headphones in during them so she can calm down

Definitely acts like she doesn’t like the others but would probably kill someone for them

19 (the oldest and shortest of the group) she/they/zem

Definitely ⏃ mom friend, can knit and sew, bake, dance, and garden. Very self sufficient but tends to forget to take care of zirself in the attempt to take care of everyone else, seeing as they are just kids.

They are very social and tends to need to be around someone at all times, even if it’s just sitting in the same room as someone else without talking.

18, she/they, 6’4, huge woman ⟟ want her to hold me

On the artistic side, draws, sings, and used to be in color guard

Definitely ⏃ cuddler, has an on going joke with mom friend just about both of their heights

18, he/they, resident white boy

Honestly Idk how this guy fits into the story yet, he’s very underdeveloped, all ⟟ have about them is that he is ⏃ history nut, literally has so many dates and information about history in his head why does he ever know this stuff.

They also are pretty great at math, can do ⏃ lot of quick multiplication and division in his head

He’s ⏃ goofball and tries to keep people’s spirits high even if it’s at the expense of his happiness, definitely tells stupid puns and makes self degrading jokes about themself.

17, she/her

Another underdeveloped character, she’s one of the more recent ones

I’m going to have to do ⏃ lot of research on Muslims because ⟟ really wanna get her right

So far just for simple character stuff she likes to garden with the mom of the group and she enjoys dancing and listening to music

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That’s pretty much all ⟟ have for now, ⟟ need to think more about them and ⟟ swear ⟟ need to get some damn names for all these guys ⟟ need to be able to talk about them and how they interact with each other