#I have to pause and stare at her every three seconds | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

screaminglygay · 2 days ago

Text

No way back

pairing: natasha romanoff x reader

summary: you and natasha joined S.H.I.E.L.D. at the same time, but you're the only one who feels truly at home. while you find your footing, natasha struggles with the unfamiliarity of it all - new people, new rules, and the overwhelming sense that she doesn’t quite belong, but you try your best to make her feel like she´s at home

warnings: slow burn, teasing, kissing, fighting, swearing, light angst, overthinking, Natasha feeling out of place, mentions of a brother's passing, emotional vulnerability

word count: 9.6k

an: thank you for the request!! i had fun writing it, once again sorry it took me forever, the next two parts will be even more angsty!!

part one I part two I part three

The air in the S.H.I.E.L.D. training facility was thick with unspoken words. Conversations lowered to hushed tones whenever she walked past. The few who didn’t bother whispering let their disapproval show in glances, in the way their shoulders stiffened when she entered a room.

Natasha Romanoff was used to isolation. But this? This was different. It wasn’t just suspicion, it was hatred.

The KGB had collapsed, and the Red Room along with it. She was one of the lucky few who got a second chance, but the agents here didn’t see it that way. To them, she wasn’t just a recruit, she was an enemy, a traitor, a remnant of something they wanted erased. They didn’t see a woman trying to rebuild herself, only the ghost of something they despised.

And yet, there was you.

Bright-eyed and eager, just another fresh recruit with no bloodstained history weighing you down. You weren’t a Widow. You weren’t special. But you were kind. And unlike everyone else, you didn’t look at her like she was something vile.

Natasha noticed it from the start, the way your gaze didn’t linger with wariness, the way your voice didn’t lower when she was near. And when she entered the training room that afternoon, she noticed you again.

The training mats were filled with recruits testing their combat skills. You were off to the side, holding pads for another agent, excitement lighting up your features as you explained something with your hands moving animatedly.

Natasha didn’t care for small talk, but something about the way you smiled… so open, so easy, made her pause.

Moments later, she was called up for testing. Evaluating abilities, strengths, weaknesses. Seeing where she fit. She knew how they expected her to perform, like a ruthless machine. So she did. She made quick work of her opponents, every strike precise, efficient. No wasted movement. No hesitation. When she finally stepped off the mat, there was silence. Not admiration, not respect, just discomfort. A reminder that she wasn’t one of them.

And then you spoke.

"That was insane." Your voice cut through the tension, bright and impressed, not a hint of unease. "How the hell did you move like that?"

Natasha blinked. People didn’t usually direct questions at her unless they had to.

You took her silence as an invitation to continue, unfazed. "I mean, I know it’s years of training and all, but-" you gestured vaguely, still catching your breath from your own sparring match. "That was like some ninja stuff ."

She just stared, unsure what to do with the unexpected enthusiasm directed her way. You were still looking at her, waiting, expecting an answer. No hostility, no apprehension.

She exhaled sharply. "Practice."

You grinned. "Yeah? Guess I should be practicing a hell of a lot more, then." You chuckle. You are not a bad at this, no. You are fast and quick, but these moves, that Natasha made… they were something else.

Natasha almost smirked, but before she could respond, your instructor called for a break. The recruits scattered, finding their usual groups.

She didn’t have one. She was used to sitting alone. It didn’t bother her.

But then-

"Hey, uh, you good?" Your voice again. You were standing in front of her now, holding two water bottles, offering one out. "You kinda just wrecked everyone, figured you might need this."

She eyed the bottle warily before taking it. "Thanks."

You sat down beside her without invitation, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Natasha waited for the hesitation, the awkward excuse to leave, but it didn’t come.

After many days of training, it became more harsher and more exhausting, you knew it was S.H.I.E.L.D. testing you, trying to sort just the best one, but it was a lot, but not for her, at least it didn´t look like it.

Natasha sat in the corner of the training room, carefully adjusting the bandages wrapped around her hand. It wasn’t a bad injury, just a scrape from earlier drills, but the fabric had stuck to the wound. She barely reacted to the discomfort, her expression cold as ever.

You noticed, though. "Hey, looks like that’s stuck. You need help?" you asked, crouching beside her.

Natasha didn’t even look up. "No."

You grinned, undeterred. "I wasn’t really asking." Before she could pull away, you were already untying the bandages with quick, precise fingers. The fabric peeled away from her skin, and Natasha finally looked at you, her sharp green eyes studying you, not with anger, but with something closer to surprise. She didn’t say anything. Just watched.

"There," you said, satisfied. "That’s better, right?"

Natasha flexed her fingers slightly, testing. "I suppose."

You took that as a win.

From that moment, you made it your mission to include Natasha, whether she wanted it or not. It wasn’t hard, everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. liked you. You were warm, helpful, and easy to talk to. Even the most hardened agents softened in your presence. But when it came to Natasha, people kept their distance, speaking in hushed tones when she passed by, leaving her to sit alone during briefings.

You weren’t having it.

Every conversation, every briefing, every group training, if you were there, you made sure Natasha was a part of it. When you laughed at a joke, you turned to see if she was listening. When you partnered up for drills, you dragged her into the mix. If she tried to stay in the background, you pulled her forward. At first, people didn’t know what to do with it. Some just stared. Some whispered. But you? You smiled at Natasha like she was just another teammate, not the ex-KGB assassin everyone was afraid of. And eventually, even if she didn’t say it, you could tell, she appraciated it.

She appraciate you.

You weren’t exactly sure when things started to shift. Maybe it was during that one mission, the first time you and Natasha had to rely on each other for real. A simple recon op that went sideways, forcing you and her to fight back-to-back. It was the first time she saw you as more than just the kind recruit who wouldn’t leave her alone. The first time she saw that you could handle yourself.

By the time you both got back to base, bruised but victorious, something had changed. It wasn’t big, not yet. Just small moments.

The way Natasha sat closer during briefings, the way her gaze lingered when you spoke. Like she was watching, waiting, trying to figure you out.

So you decided to push things a little further, trying to make her feel more… comfortable and safe. Make her feel more like she belongs here.

"Come with me," you said one evening, right after dinner.

Natasha raised a brow. "Where?"

"The shooting range." You said simply.

She studied you for a long moment. "At this hour? There won’t be anyone else."

"Nope," you grinned. "Just us. I wanted to see the real things you can do with a gun. And I want you to teach me."

Natasha folded her arms, the corner of her lips twitching. "You don’t think it’s- "

"Scary?" you interrupted. "No. Badass? Yup."

She blinked, surprised, before shaking her head with something dangerously close to amusement. "You’re ridiculous."

"And you’re avoiding the question." You smiled at her, knowing she will say yes, but won´t go down without looking like a scary person.

Which is funny, because not even after bunch of stories you heard, not a single time did you think she was scary. Interesting and strong, definetly, but never scary.

Natasha sighed, but there was no real resistance. She stood up, rolling her shoulders. "Fine. But don’t embarrass yourself."

You grinned. "No promises."

The range was quiet at night, the fluorescent lights casting a cool glow over the empty stalls. You handed Natasha a pistol, watching as she inspected it with the kind of precision that could only come from years of training.

"So, what do you wanna learn?" she asked, slipping into that calm, focused state that made her so lethal in the field.

You thought about it for a second. "Everything."

Natasha let out a short laugh, a real one. "That’s ambitious."

"You´re good with guns, so…"

Her expression faltered, just for a second. She wasn’t used to compliments. Not the genuine kind. But she recovered quickly, loading the gun and placing it in your hands.

"Alright then," she murmured, stepping behind you. "Let’s start with your grip."

Her hands covered yours, adjusting your fingers, pressing against your back to fix your stance. Her touch was careful but firm, her voice smooth as she explained each movement. You weren’t sure if it was the warmth of her body so close or the sheer focus in her tone, but your pulse quickened.

And when you fired the first shot, dead center on the target, you swore you heard a quiet hum of approval.

"Not bad," Natasha admitted.

You smirked. "Told you I wouldn’t embarrass myself. But why is the grip so important? It´s just the shot, no?"

She rolled her eyes, but this time, she didn’t pull away so fast. "Is your gun loaded?"

"No. I had only one bullet in-" before you could finish that sentence, Natasha not so harshly bumped into your wrist and the gun you were holding fell easily down. "Oh… I see now." You turned your head so you can look at her, you smiled a bit, even though you can feel your heart in your throat.

After that bonding the smiles started. They weren’t much at first - hesitant, uncertain - but they were there. Agents who once ignored her were now nodding in acknowledgment. Some even started greeting her by name. It wasn’t lost on Natasha that this shift had everything to do with you.

You had always been easy to like, weaving yourself effortlessly into the cracks of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s cold walls. You helped agents with their reports, sparred with them without making it a competition, and always - always - made sure Natasha was included.

At first, people didn’t know how to react. They weren’t sure if you were just being polite or if you really meant it. But then, in the middle of a late-night training session, you made sure to give Natasha the credit, she didn´t think was even there.

"Damn, how did you pull that off?" one of the agents asked after you had effortlessly flipped them onto the mat.

You grinned, wiping sweat from your forehead. "Natasha taught me." Silence. A few skeptical glances were exchanged. "…Romanoff?" someone finally muttered.

"Yeah," you said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

For a moment, no one knew what to say. But then, one of the agents turned to Natasha, hesitant but genuinely curious. "Wait… you actualy train others?"

Natasha, who had been leaning against the wall watching the interaction unfold, tilted her head slightly. "When I feel like it."

You rolled your eyes. "Don’t listen to her. She does and she’s actually great at it."

A few agents exchanged glances before someone hesitantly asked, "Can you show us?"

Natasha hesitated. It wasn’t fear. It was just… unfamiliar. People looking at her with interest instead of distrust.

You gave her a little nudge. "C’mon, show off a little." And once again you chuckle, pushing Natasha´s buttons a bit more. Making her open more and show others, that she´s not so cold and scary looking lady.

A beat passed. Then, Natasha sighed and stepped forward. "Fine."

That was the moment everything truly changed. The next few weeks, more agents started joining in. What started as casual observations turned into genuine respect. They saw how skilled she was, how efficient her movements were.

"Oh my god, who taught you that?" someone asked you after another sparring session.

"Natasha did," you answered with a smirk.

And instead of the usual shock or discomfort, the response was different this time. "Damn," one agent muttered. "She’s really good."

"She really is," another admitted.

It was subtle, but Natasha noticed it. The way people started sitting next to her in meetings. The way conversations didn’t immediately die when she entered a room. The way people started listening. For the first time since joining S.H.I.E.L.D., she didn’t feel like an outsider, at least not that much, she felt like this could really be a new beggining for her.

As the days comes by Natasha finally catch you after a training, finally being able to talk to you properly. The gym was empty now, except for the two of you. Sweat clung to your skin, muscles sore from sparring, but neither of you seemed in a hurry to leave today. Natasha had been improving fast, not just physically, but in how she carried herself around the others. She was more comfortable now, less guarded. It was something you had noticed gradually, and honestly, you were proud of her.

That’s why it caught you off guard when she suddenly said, "Thanks."

You blinked. "For what?"

Natasha exhaled, running a hand through her damp hair before leaning against the wall. "For making me look friendly. Helping me fit in."

You shook your head with a small smile. "Zero idea what you’re talking about."

She shot you a dry look. "Oh, shut up."

You chuckled. "That was all you, Nat. They just needed a little push. So did you."

Natasha didn’t argue with that. She let the words settle between you before glancing down at her hands, quiet for a long moment. Then, almost hesitantly, she said, "I don’t blame them, you know."

You frowned at her, letting her speak.

"The others. For being wary of me." She sighed. "I was trained in the Red Room. Worked for the KGB. I know what people like me have done." She hesitated, then her voice dropped slightly. "I know what I’ve done, I know who I am..."

She didn’t say it, but you heard the word she left unsaid.

Monster.

Your chest ached for her.

"We all make mistakes," you said softly. "But you’re here for a reason, aren’t you? You want to change. To do something good. What happened… happened. You can’t change the past, but you can choose who you want to be."

Natasha let out a breath, something shifting in her expression. "You ate a wisdom, hm?" she muttered.

You grinned, "that’s my daily bread."

A small chuckle escaped her lips, quiet but real. It was rare to hear her laugh, but when she did, it was worth it.

After that, things between you and Natasha just… clicked. Wherever she was, you weren’t far behind. And wherever you were, she was right there with you. People started joking about it. "If we need to find Romanoff, just look for (Y/N)."

"I swear, they come as a set," another agent laughed at that.

You started doing things together outside of training. Natasha would drag you to the shooting range at odd hours, testing out different weapons while you tried (and often failed) to match her skill. In return, you convinced her to join you in normal, non-mission-related activities - grabbing coffee, watching movies, playing pool in the rec room.

And then there were the missions. You worked better together than anyone expected. It was seamless, almost instinctive. The way you covered each other’s backs, how one glance was enough to understand what the other was thinking. You weren’t just teammates. You were a duo.

Time goes by, and it was the one-year celebration of you being in S.H.I.E.L.D. The same goes for Natasha. The party was in full swing, the usually serious S.H.I.E.L.D agents actually let loose, drinks in hand, music a little too loud for a facility, and even the higher-ups seem to have abandoned their usual stiff posture. For once, the atmosphere was light, warm. You had a good time, chatting with everyone, laughing at dumb jokes, even letting yourself get a little tipsy.

But even you had limits, your social battery is wearing thin, and the heat of the crowded room got to you. So, without much thought, you slipped out of the main hall and made your way up the stairs, pushing open the door to the training center’s rooftop. The night air was cool against your skin, refreshing after the stuffy warmth of the party. The city lights stretched out in the distance, flickering like a thousand little stars, and you sighed, leaning against the railing.

Peace. At least for a moment.

Because not long after, the door creaked open again. You didn´t have to turn around to know who it was. Natasha stepped forward, her footsteps light, almost silent. She stopped beside you, resting her arms on the railing. You glanced at her, she looked the same as always, calm, composed.

"You’re not drunk," you observed.

She huffed out something like a chuckle. "Of course not."

"Why? Afraid of letting loose?" you teased, nudging her with your elbow.

She didn´t respond immediately, just watched the city below. Then, with a small shrug, she said, "I grew up in Russia. Tolerance to alcohol is kind of in my blood."

You raised an eyebrow. "Then why you’re not even slightly tipsy?"

"Would take a hell of a lot more than what they’re serving in there," she said, nodding towards the party. "It’s a little pathetic, honestly."

You laughed softly, shaking your head.

"Maybe I should teach you... you look like you would need it," she teased.

"Excuse you, I have some tolerance." You glanced at her, "besides I did have my own growing up experience with drinking."

Natasha looked at you, silent, waiting.

"My brother taught me how to drink," you chuckled, "at least tried to." You exhaled, looking down at your hands. “His names is Thomas.” A pause. “Was.”

She didn´t say anything, but she turned fully toward you, giving you her full attention.

"He was in the Navy," you continued. "One of the best. Smart, strong… better than me in everything, really. But he was also the kind of guy who couldn’t sit back if someone needed help." You took a breath. "There was an accident. A mission gone wrong. He saved his teammate… but he didn’t make it."

You swallowed, feeling the familiar ache in your chest. Even after all this time, it didn´t go away. It´s the alcohol that made your shiny personality, to get a little cloudy.

Natasha was still quiet, but she watched you with something soft in her expression. Understanding.

"That’s why I trained," you said finally. "Why I kept pushing myself. My biggest dream was to work for the CIA, actually." You chuckled, shaking your head. "And I almost made it. Passed all the tests, was about to get in, until a guy with one eye came in and basically stole me."

Natasha’s lips quirked. "Fury?"

You nodded, "Fury."

There was a comfortable silence between you after that. Just the sound of the wind, the faint music from the party below, and the distant hum of the city.

Then, quietly, Natasha said, "I’m sorry about your brother."

You glanced at her, giving her a small smile. "Yeah. Me too."

Another beat of silence. Then, in a rare, quiet admission, she added, "He sounds like a nice guy."

You chuckled, tilting your head. "He would’ve liked you."

Natasha raised an eyebrow, "even though I’m Russian?"

You nudged her shoulder. "Even though you’re Russian." It was very easy to talk to you, to joke with you and to let her guards down, she liked this... she liked spending time with you.

You let out a soft chuckle, leaning your elbows on the railing as you gaze out over the cityscape. The cool night air does little to sober you up, but you didn´t mind the warmth in your cheeks. It was a nice buzz, one that made you loosen up, talk more freely.

"He actually was really into women who could take care of themselves," you said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence between you and Natasha. "His captain was a woman. I remember how head over heels he was for her… it was crazy. He was thirteen again, having a crush like a little boy."

You laughed at the memory, shaking your head. "I swear, he would talk about her like she walked on water. All serious and professional when she was around, but then the second she left? He’d go on and on about how badass she was."

Natasha chuckled at your rambling, a rare amusement flickering in her expression. You were slightly tipsy, your words a little looser than usual, but she didn´t mind. There was something… nice about it. About you just talking, sharing pieces of your life like they were meant to be told.

She watched as you grin to yourself, your fingers absentmindedly tracing the railing. There was a soft flush to your cheeks, not just from the alcohol, but from the warmth of the memory. It made her hesitate, just for a moment, before she spoke.

"I get it," Natasha finally said, exhaling softly. "Having someone you admire like that."

You glanced at her, intrigued. "Yeah?" And Natasha just hummed.

After few minutes of just silence once again, her gaze fell back on the city. “I had a sister.” A pause. "Have a sister."

Your head tilted slightly, your attention sharpening. "You do?"

Natasha nodded again. "Yelena. She’s younger than me. Stubborn as hell, always had something to prove." A small, almost fond smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "We grew up together… well, as much as we could. The Red Room didn’t exactly allow for normal childhoods."

You didn´t push, just let her talk, sensing the weight of her words.

"I haven’t seen her in years," Natasha continued, fingers flexing slightly against the railing. "Not since I left." There’s a flicker of something in her expression - guilt, longing. "I don’t even know where she is. If she’s okay. But I still think about her."

You were quiet for a moment, letting her words settle between you. Then, gently, you asked, "What was she like? Back then?"

Natasha exhaled a short laugh. "A menace."

You grined at that. "Sounds about right for a younger sibling."

"She always had this way of getting under my skin," Natasha admited, shaking her head slightly. "Always trying to prove she could be better, faster, stronger. But she was also… kind. Not in the traditional way, but in the way that mattered. She cared… deeply. Even when she tried to hide it."

You watched Natasha’s expression shift, soft in a way you don’t see often. It was different from her usual guarded demeanor, there was something raw in it. Something real.

"I hope she’s okay," Natasha murmured.

You reached out, hesitating for only a second before gently placing your hand on hers. "If she’s anything like you, I’d bet she is."

Natasha looked at you then, her green eyes flickering at your hand on hers, then back at you. But after a moment, she just huffed out a quiet breath, shaking her head. "You’re really bad at this whole tough S.H.I.E.L.D. agent thing, you know?" she said.

You grined, "yeah, well. Someone’s gotta balance you out."

She didn´t argue. Instead, she just let out another soft chuckle, turning her gaze back toward the city. And for a while, the two of you just stayed like that. Side by side, watching the world move below, the weight of past and present settling comfortably between you.

One second, you were just standing there, glancing at Natasha, enjoying her presence - the next, her lips were on yours. Soft. Warm.

A little hesitant at first, like she wasn’t sure she should be doing this, but then firmer, more certain.

Your breath hitched, heart slamming against your ribs as your brain caught up with what was happening. Natasha Romanoff - Natasha - was kissing you.

And then, just as suddenly as it started, she pulled away, eyes wide, looking more startled than you felt. "Oh, shit," she breathed. "I- I didn’t mean to-"

You blinked at her, still processing, still feeling the ghost of her lips on yours. Butteflies flying everywhere.

"I mean, I did, but I- I don’t know why I-" She took a half-step back, running a hand over her face. "That was- I wasn’t thinking, I just-"

She was spiraling. Natasha Romanoff was spiraling. And honestly? It was kind of adorable.

You grinned, heart still racing, but in the best way. "Nat."

"I shouldn’t have-"

"Natasha."

She shut up, blinking at you.

"Don’t apologize," you said softly, still feeling the warmth of her lips lingering on yours. "That was nice."

She blinked again. "Nice?"

"Very nice." You nodded and as Natasha looked at you fully so she could notice the blush on your cheeks. Knowing very well it wasn´t from the alcohol.

Her brows furrowed, like her brain was still struggling to process the fact that you weren’t mad, weren’t pulling away. "But I just- I didn’t even ask, I just-"

"Yeah, I noticed," you teased, a giddy little laugh bubbling up. "Not that I’m complaining."

Natasha groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "This is not how I wanted to do this."

You tilted your head, biting back a smile. "Oh? So you wanted to kiss me?"

Her lips parted, then closed, then parted again. "I- That’s not- I mean-"

You couldn’t help it. You laughed. A bright, breathless, happy sound.

"I knew it," you teased, poking her arm.

Natasha scowled, but the way her ears were turning pink betrayed her, "you did?"

"Nope, but I wanted you to do it so badly, so… manifestation." You smiled widely at her.

"You’re insufferable," she muttered, though there was no real heat behind it.

"And you just kissed me," you pointed out, grinning.

She groaned again, looking up at the sky like it might save her. You just smiled, reaching for her hand and giving it a small squeeze.

"Hey," you said softly. She looked at you, and there was still a little hesitation there, a little uncertainty.

You squeezed her hand again. "This is nice," you repeated, gentler this time. "You are nice. To me. And that’s all that matters."

Natasha stared at you for a long moment, like she was still trying to find a way out of this. But then, finally, finally, she let out a breath. "You’re really something else," she murmured, shaking her head.

You grinned. "Took you long enough to figure that out."

She rolled her eyes, but she didn’t let go of your hand.

…

From the moment that kiss happened on the rooftop, something between you and Natasha changed.

Not in a way that was overwhelming or scary - no, it was easy, like flipping a switch that was waiting to be turned on. You still trained together, ate lunch at the same table, sat beside each other in meetings, but now there was an added something to it all. A kind of warmth, a softness.

Like how Natasha would nudge your arm when she passed by, or how she’d steal your drink without asking, giving you a smirk when you huffed at her. Or how she’d lean into your side when you sat next to each other, casually draping her arm over the back of your chair, fingers sometimes brushing your shoulder absentmindedly.

Little things. Easy things.

Dating Natasha Romanoff was surprisingly not some impossible, larger-than-life thing. It was waking up and getting coffee together before morning drills, where she’d always roll her eyes but still make sure you had your favorite one.

It was stealing quick, hidden moments in hallways when no one was looking, Natasha rolling her eyes at how obvious you were, only to pull you in for a kiss when she thought no one was around. It was training together, still pushing each other, but now with teasing smirks and stolen kisses. It was, you had to admit, kind of perfect.

Natasha was perfect. And everyone was noticing.

Once word got out, because of course it got out, that you, arguably the kindest person in S.H.I.E.L.D., chose Natasha, something shifted in how people treated her.

Not in a bad way, though.

Before, people had been friendly enough, mostly because you kept bringing Natasha into group activities and conversations, but there had always been a kind of caution. A distance. They still saw her as Black Widow, the woman who had red in her ledger, who had a history drenched in violence.

But now?

Now, people looked at her differently.

If you, the person who always went out of their way to help others, who saw the best in everyone, liked Natasha, then maybe she wasn’t someone to be feared. Maybe she deserved a second chance. And Natasha? Oh, she noticed.

People started smiling at her more in the hallways.

They started asking for her help with things - small tasks, not only minor training exercises, more little things they never would have approached her for before.

And the flirting?

The flirting was insane.

It was like the moment people saw Natasha through your eyes, they realized she wasn’t just a deadly assassin… she was hot.

You’d never seen her ego this big before. Training days became something else entirely.

"Alright, everyone, partner up." Maria Hill, Fury´s right hand yelled, so everyone can hear her.

Immediately, half the room turned to Natasha. You watched as agents practically scrambled to be the first to get to her, some subtly and not so subtly bumping into each other in their rush. Natasha smirked.

"Oh," she mused, glancing at you from across the room. "Guess I’m popular now."

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. "You’re impossible." Not thinking about it as a big deal.

She gave you a smug little smile, tilting her head. "Jealous?" You scoffed, trying not to let her entirely correct assumption show on your face.

She chuckled, then turns to some random rookie, “sorry, but I already have a partner," she said simply, jerking her head toward you.

The rookie looked both disappointed and terrified.

You, however, were fighting back a grin. She is yours and you are hers.

Natasha made her way over, stopping just in front of you. "You don’t mind, do you?"

You huffed, "like you’d let me say no."

She smirked, leaning in just enough for her voice to drop, “exactly."

You swallowed, because god, she knew what she was doing.

"Alright, alright," Maria called, clapping her hands. "Let’s get started."

You were going to kill her.

Or kiss her.

Possibly both.

And Natasha? She knew exactly what she was doing.

After training wrapped up, you and Natasha made your way to the locker room. The adrenaline was still thrumming in your veins, your body buzzing with the remnants of sparring.

Or maybe it was just her. Who knows?

Natasha was grinning, that signature, smug little smirk plastered on her lips as she leaned against the lockers with her arms crossed. "See how much people wanted to spar with me today?" she teased, tilting her head as she looked at you.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. "Oh, please. It was a little desperate if you ask me."

Natasha gasped dramatically, pressing a hand to her chest. "Desperate? They chose me.”

You huffed, turning away to open your locker. "Yeah, well, I think I’m gonna have to start charging them if they want to breathe the same air as my girlfriend." There was a tiny hint of jealousy and of course she noticed it.

Natasha let out a delighted laugh. "Oh? So I’m yours now?"

You turned to her, lifting a brow. "You were always mine."

That shut her up, momentarily.

Then, she grinned, stepping closer. "Oh, is someone turning green?"

You turned away quickly, but Natasha was faster. Before you could even think of hiding, she had you pinned against the lockers, her hands firm on either side of your head as she leaned in.

"I think you are," she murmured, her lips brushing against yours as she spoke.

"I am not," you mumbled, though your resolve was very quickly dissolving.

Natasha chuckled. "Mhm." And then she kissed you. It was soft at first, just a slow, teasing press of her lips against yours. Then, it grew deeper, her hands sliding down to your waist, pulling you closer. You sighed against her mouth, your hands moving to cup her face, fingers tracing the curve of her jaw.

She was being so affectionate. Touching you like she needed to, kissing you like she wanted to pour everything she felt into you. When she pulled back, just enough to look into your eyes, you found yourself whispering, "We’re together… together."

She smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth. "We are…" Another kiss to your cheek, "…together." Another to your jaw, "…which is why you should move in with me."

You blinked, your mind short-circuiting. "Wait. What?"

She pulled back slightly, her hands still on your waist. "Move in with me."

You stared at her.

She tilted her head. "What?"

You blinked again. "You just said- wait. Are you serious?"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Of course I’m serious. We basically spend all our time together anyway."

You hesitated, your heart pounding. "But we-"

"You want to." She grinned, leaning in again, her lips brushing over yours. "I know you do."

You huffed, narrowing your eyes at her. "…I hate how well you know me."

She smirked, "so?"

You sighed, dramatically, "fine."

"Fine? Just fine?" She can´t help, but chuckle again.

You chuckled as well, "fine, I’ll move in."

Natasha grinned, "good," and then she kissed you again.

The only thing left to do was tell Fury. So you did the next day, since the word travels fast in this facility. You weren’t nervous, per se, but still… this was Fury. You stood in front of his desk, back straight, hands clasped behind you. Natasha was waiting outside, mostly because she didn’t want to hear Fury’s inevitable sarcasm firsthand.

Fury looked at you over the rim of his coffee cup, unimpressed. "You want to what?"

"Move in with agent Romanoff, sir."

He blinked, setting his cup down, "you’re already living in headquarters."

"Yes, sir."

"And now you want to live together?"

"…Yes, sir."

He exhaled through his nose, rubbing his temple. "I’m happy for you." He said that with total blank expression, so it was hard to tell if he meant it or not.

You blinked, "wait, really?"

"But," Fury continued, leveling you with a look, "don’t you dare let it affect your work."

You swallowed, “it won’t, sir."

"You and Romanoff are my top agents," he said firmly. "I don’t have time for relationship drama messing with my missions. So don’t you dare."

You straightened, "I understand. Don’t worry, sir."

Fury eyed you for a moment before sighing. "Good. Now get out of my office."

You tried not to smile as you turned on your heel and walked out.

Natasha was waiting in the hallway, arms crossed. "Well?"

You grinned. "He said yes."

"Told you he would" Natasha smirked.

You rolled your eyes, nudging her. "Come on, roomie."

She chuckled, draping an arm over your shoulders as you walked away together. Words can´t describe how happy you felt, in this moment… there is nothing more you wish for, maybe more free time, but you´re not gonna push Fury´s buttons. Not yet at least

Each morning from that moment the first thing you registered was warmth. The second was the scent of Natasha, something sweet and faintly floral, mixed with the crispness of freshly washed sheets. The third was movement. Something was shifting beside you, and before you could even react, a hand brushed over your hair, fingers lightly threading through it.

"Mhm," you grumbled, burying your face deeper into the pillow.

A chuckle, "good morning, sweetheart."

You groaned in response, curling further into the blankets.

"Come on, wake up." Natasha’s voice was far too cheerful for this time of day.

You pried one eye open, glaring at her, or at least, attempting to. It probably looked more like a squint. "It’s six in the morning."

"It is."

"Six, Natasha." Ugh. How you hated mornings, early mornings to be exact.

"I heard you the first time."

You groaned again, flopping onto your back and rubbing your face. "This is cruel. I thought you liked me."

Natasha laughed, stretching her arms above her head, the muscles in her back flexing beneath the soft fabric of her tank top. "I do like you."

You pouted up at her. "Then why are you waking me up at an ungodly hour?"

She grinned, leaning on her elbow beside you. "Because you’re adorable when you’re grumpy."

You narrowed your eyes at her, "I hate you." And you mumble something else.

"No, you don’t," she poked your cheek. "But everyone should see this. Our lovely, happy, kind little sunshine is currently wishing me all the worst just because I woke her up."

You groaned, covering your face with your hands. "That is not true," maybe it was… a little.

"Oh?" Natasha teased, nudging you playfully. "What was it you just mumbled? Something about me rotting in hell?"

You peeked at her through your fingers, "…maybe."

She laughed, and God, it was the best sound in the world. Even though it´s six in the morning, you don´t really mind the reason you´re awake now.

"You’re an agent, baby," she said, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

"Not in the next five minutes," you mumbled, reaching for her hand and intertwining your fingers with hers, "Cuddles?"

Natasha let out a dramatic sigh, "fine, but only for five minutes."

You grinned sleepily, tugging her down into your arms. She didn’t resist, in fact, she melted into you, resting her head against your chest, her fingers idly tracing shapes against your arm.

"This is nice," she murmured.

You hummed, pressing a lazy kiss to the top of her head, "told you."

She chuckled, pressing a kiss to your collarbone. "Alright, I’ll admit it. You might have been right."

"Might have been?" You smirked at her.

She sighed, "alright, fine, you were right."

You grinned triumphantly, hugging her tighter. Natasha chuckled, tilting her head up to look at you. Her green eyes softened, and she reached up to brush her thumb over your cheek.

"I love you," she murmured.

Oh my god.

For a moment, all you could do was stare. Your sleep-addled brain scrambled to catch up, to process that Natasha Romanoff had just said I love you for the first time. The room was still, the only sound the quiet hum of the air conditioning and the soft rustling of the sheets as Natasha shifted slightly beside you. Your heart pounded against your ribs, like it knew the weight of those words before your brain could fully register them. She had said it so softly, so easily, like she wasn’t even afraid of it. Like it wasn’t some impossible, unreachable thing.

Natasha looked at you, her green eyes searching yours, and for the second time ever, she looked nervous. Like she thought maybe she had messed up. Like she thought maybe you wouldn’t say it back. Which was insane, because of course you would.

Of course, you did.

"Say it again," you whispered, barely realizing the words had left your mouth.

Natasha blinked. "What?"

"Say it again." Your voice was a little stronger this time, but still breathless, like you’d just been hit with a wave of something so big it knocked the air from your lungs.

Natasha's lips twitched into the faintest smile. And then quieter, but with no less certainty-

"I love you."

Something in your chest burst. You let out a breathless, almost disbelieving laugh, before grabbing her face and kissing her senseless. Natasha let out a surprised sound but melted into it instantly, her arms winding around your waist as if she had been waiting for this exact moment. When you finally pulled back, just enough to look at her, you were grinning like an absolute fool.

"You-" You shook your head, pressing another quick kiss to her lips, "you love me."

"I do." Natasha’s voice was amused now, a little lighter, a little happier.

"You love me," you repeated, as if testing the words in your mouth.

Natasha chuckled. "Is that really so surprising?"

"Yes! No! I mean-" You laughed again, completely overwhelmed, "I just- God, I love you so much."

Natasha's expression softened, and you swore you saw her eyes shine just a little. "Yeah?" she murmured.

"Yeah," you breathed. "So much."

She smiled, the kind of smile that made your knees weak, even though you were already lying down.

Since Natasha had told you she loved you, everything had been amazing. She had never been an overly affectionate person before, but now? Now she was. She kissed you in the hallways of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.. She pulled you into her lap when you both sat on the couch, arms wrapped around you like she needed to physically anchor herself to you. She always, always held your hand whenever you were walking together.

She made you feel loved. And in return, you loved her hard. You loved her with your touch, with the way you reached for her first thing in the morning, still groggy but always needing her close. You loved her with your words, whispering soft things against her skin late at night, telling her all the reasons she was good, she was worthy. You loved her with your patience, never pushing when she got quiet, never demanding more than she was ready to give.

But still…

Still, something lingered in her.

Although things were better, although she had you and people were being nicer, there was something inside her that just wouldn't settle. A restlessness. Some nights, when you were fast asleep, Natasha would sit at the edge of the bed and just watch you. She would grip the blanket tight in her fists, pressing the fabric to her face just so she could smell you, so she could drown herself in something warm, something real.

She didn’t know why she did it. Or maybe she did.

Maybe it was because she was still trying to believe it.

Trying to believe that this was real. That you were real. That the love you gave her wasn’t something temporary, wasn’t something that would be ripped away the moment she blinked too long. She wanted to believe she belonged here. That this - this bed, this warmth, this person - was home.

But… what was home, really?

The Red Room? Moscow? The cold walls of S.H.I.E.L.D.? The battlefield?

Was she the assassin, the spy, the Black Widow capable of having a home?

Sometimes, she would stare at you, watching the way your lips would part slightly when you slept, the way your brows would furrow if she shifted too much.

And she would wonder… does she love the real me?

The real her. The one with blood-stained hands. The one who had taken lives, who had done horrible things. The one who, despite everything, still questioned whether she was anything more than a killer. Maybe you loved the version of her that you saw. The one who teased you in the mornings, who kissed you breathless in empty hallways, who pulled you into her arms without hesitation.

Maybe you loved that Natasha.

But what about the other one?

What about the Natasha who had once followed orders without question? The Natasha who had ended lives with a steady hand and an empty heart? The Natasha who still, even now, sometimes felt like she was nothing more than a weapon?

Did you love her, too?

Would you still love her if you knew, if you really knew, what she had done?

She didn't know. And she was scared to find out.

So after some time she just thought that faking till you make it sounded like a great idea. It started small. The lingering glances. The playful smirks. The way Natasha would lean in just a little too close when someone was talking to her, her eyes sharp and inviting in a way that made people stumble over their words.

At first, you brushed it off.

You knew Natasha. You knew she wasn’t the type to cheat, not even close. But it was hard to ignore how much she entertained it. The winks she threw back. The way she’d chuckle at comments that were a little too flirtatious. The way she let people’s hands linger on her arm or shoulder when they spoke.

You told yourself it didn’t mean anything. That it was just her way of fitting in, showing people she wasn’t the cold, untouchable Black Widow they once thought she was.

And you got it. You did. For so long, she had felt unwanted, feared, alone.

And now, for the first time, people were seeing her differently. They were choosing her. Not because she was a weapon or a threat, but because they liked her.

And it made her feel… valued.

So you let it go.

Until you couldn’t.

It was one night in your shared room, Natasha sitting at the small desk while cleaning one of her knives, humming softly to herself. You sat on the bed, playing with the hem of your shirt, thoughts swirling too fast in your mind.

"Nat?"

She hummed in response but didn’t look up.

You took a breath. "I love you."

That made her pause. Her hands stilled, and she turned her head to look at you, brows furrowing slightly. "I know," she said softly with a small smile.

But you weren’t really saying it to her. You were saying it to yourself. Like some kind of reassurance. A desperate attempt to convince yourself that everything was okay. That she loved you… that she wanted you.

That this didn’t mean anything. Because it didn’t, right? But still, something gnawed at you. Something bitter and heavy, curling in your stomach, whispering thoughts you didn’t want to listen to.

Am I enough?

Maybe the others were more fun. Maybe they weren’t as serious. Maybe they made her laugh more.Maybe they didn’t come with the weight of whispered confessions in the dark, the burden of knowing all her scars, inside and out. Maybe it was easier with them.

Maybe-

"Hey," Natasha’s voice pulled you back, soft but firm. She was kneeling in front of you now, her hands gently resting on your thighs, brows drawn together in concern, "what’s wrong?”

You swallowed, shaking your head, "nothing."

She didn’t believe you. Of course, she didn’t. She tilted her head slightly, studying you the way she did when analyzing an opponent in a fight, like she was picking apart every little movement, every hesitation, every weakness. "Talk to me," she said quietly.

And you wanted to. You really wanted to.

But how could you?

How could you tell her that while she was struggling with believing she belonged, you were struggling with believing you were enough? You sighed, rubbing your palms over your face. "It’s nothing serious. I’ve just been overthinking a lot."

Natasha didn’t move from her spot in front of you, still kneeling, her hands now tracing slow circles over your thighs. "Overthinking what?"

You hesitated. You weren’t lying, not really. But you weren’t saying everything either. Because if you did, if you voiced all the thoughts racing through your mind it might make them real.

So instead, you forced a small smile, shaking your head. "Just… if what I’m doing now is enough."

Natasha’s brows furrowed. "Enough?"

You exhaled, "like… as an agent, as a person, in-" Your voice wavered. "In us." It slipped out.

Her grip on you tightened slightly. "Of course, you’re enough." And the way she said it, so fiercely, so certainly, made your chest ache. She shifted, lifting herself up to sit beside you on the bed, her hand finding yours. "What’s making you feel this way?"

You shrugged, staring down at your intertwined fingers. "I don’t know. I think it’s just… everything."

Natasha was quiet for a moment, and you could almost see the gears turning in her head, the way her mind dissected every little piece of information you gave her. Finally, she sighed, leaning in and pressing her lips softly to your temple. "I love you," she murmured against your skin.

It sent a warmth through your chest, but it didn’t erase the lingering thoughts completely.

And maybe Natasha knew that.

Maybe that’s why, as she pulled back, she searched your face so intently, as if trying to see past whatever walls you were keeping up.

But then something shifted in her own expression. Something almost unreadable. She glanced away, exhaling slowly.

And that’s when you realized-

She was thinking, too.

Overthinking.

You squeezed her hand. "Nat?"

She didn’t answer right away, staring at a spot on the floor like it had the answers to something she didn’t even know how to ask. "I just…" she started, but then shook her head, letting out a quiet laugh that lacked any humor.

"Now you’re overthinking," you pointed out gently.

Natasha exhaled, rubbing the back of her neck. "Yeah, well… you’re not the only one who does it."

Your brows knit together. "What are you overthinking?"

Her lips pressed into a thin line. And for the first time in a while, Natasha looked uncertain. She was always so sure, so sharp, so steady. But now, there was something hesitant in the way she held herself. Like she wasn’t sure if she was standing on solid ground anymore.

You turned to face her fully, giving her the same patience she had given you. "Talk to me."

She scoffed softly, "that’s my line."

You smiled, nudging her lightly, "it can be mine, too."

Natasha sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly. “I just…” She swallowed, "I´m not sure if I fit in."

Your breath hitched. "What?"

She ran a hand through her hair, her voice quieter now. “I mean, what if people like the fun me, not the weird killer one, but the one that´s…” she gestured vaguely, "normal."

Your chest tightened. "Nat-" You stared at her, heart aching. Because you understood. You understood the weight she carried, the doubt that gnawed at her, the fear of being seen as something she wasn’t sure she could escape. "People like you for who you are, right now. They enjoy your presence, I enjoy your presence. All the time."

To you, there was no version of Natasha to love. There was just her. And maybe… maybe you both needed to figure that out together. So after your talk you just spend cuddling tighter than usual, not talking at all, just enjoying your time together.

Over the days, Natasha had been even more open to others, for some reason, which didn´t help you with the "overthinking" part. It wasn’t just the occasional banter anymore, it was something more. The teasing smirks, the way she leaned in just a little too close when speaking, the way her fingers ghosted over arms, her laugh coming a little softer, a little sweeter.

You wanted to understand this, but the only think you could do was to stend back and watch. She joked with Maria Hill in the training center, standing a little too close, her fingers lingering on Maria’s wrist just a beat longer than necessary as they laughed about something. You weren’t even sure what had been said, but it didn’t really matter. It was the pattern that was beginning to form. It wasn’t just Maria. Natasha was always surrounded by someone now, their attention drawn to her like moths to a flame. And she let them. Agents who barely looked at her months ago now jumped at the chance to train with her, to sit with her in the cafeteria, to find excuses to be near her.

And Natasha? She basked in it.

You didn´t said anything… but days turned to weeks, and it never stopped. If anything it got worse.

It was after training when you finally said something. The adrenaline still thrummed in your veins from sparring, your muscles sore in the best way, but all of it was overshadowed by the tight knot in your chest.

Natasha was drinking from her water bottle, wiping sweat from her forehead when you finally broke the silence.

"The flirting is too much."

She froze mid-motion, brow raising slightly as she looked at you, "wha- baby, you know I would never"

"I know," you sighed, running a hand through your hair. "I know you wouldn’t do anything, but… I just don’t like them thinking they have a chance, you know?"

For a second, something flickered in Natasha’s expression, something uncertain, but then it was gone, replaced with that easy, confident smirk that had charmed so many people lately.

"You’re the only girl in my sight," she murmured, stepping closer, her voice dropping into something lower, something smoother. Your lips pressed into a thin line. She was doing it again. The charming words, the flirtation, the teasing little game she played when things got too close, too real. And then her fingers traced down your arm, light, deliberate, the heat of her touch sending shivers up your spine.

"You don’t need to worry," she whispered, pressing a kiss just below your ear. "I only want you."

You wanted to stay firm. You wanted to keep pushing, to tell her that wasn’t the point. But then her hands were on you, guiding, coaxing, pulling you into her orbit like she always did. Natasha had always been a master of control, of knowing exactly what to say, what to do, to pull someone under. And she knew exactly how to make you forget.

Natasha led you through the hallways of the compound, her fingers interlaced with yours, her touch grounding, magnetic. You weren’t fighting it anymore. Maybe you should have. Maybe you should have pressed harder, but right now, in this moment, you just wanted her.

"Our room," she murmured, glancing at you from the corner of her eye, a small smirk playing at her lips, "we can shower together." Her voice was low, inviting, and there was no point in pretending you didn’t want that too.

By the time you reached her room, Natasha was already peeling off her shirt, throwing it onto the chair in the corner without care. She turned back to you, stepping close, her fingers immediately finding your waist, tracing over your skin like she needed to remind herself you were real.

She kissed you - slow, deliberate, her lips moving over yours like she had all the time in the world. And then she whispered against your lips, "You’re mine." Her hands slid up, her palms warm against your skin.

"I’m yours," she murmured, pressing another kiss just beneath your jaw. "You’re amazing." The words kept coming, soft and steady, an anchor against the storm of thoughts that had been brewing in your mind for weeks. "You’re everything," she breathed.

Your fingers curled against her back, holding onto her, feeling the way her muscles tensed and relaxed beneath your touch. You wanted to believe her. You wanted to hold onto these words and let them fill the cracks that had started to form inside you.

Natasha rested her forehead against yours, her hands still tracing slow, soothing patterns against your sides. "No overthinking. Not right now," she whispered. "Just me and you."

She kissed you again, and for a little while, you let yourself believe her.

The steam curled around both of you, thick and warm, as the water cascaded down, soaking into your skin. Natasha’s hands never left you, not for a second. They traced along your arms, your waist, the curve of your back, as if she was mapping you out, committing you to memory, ensuring you were still here, still hers.

The shower wasn’t just a shower… it was something else entirely. A quiet space where the world didn’t exist, where doubts couldn’t reach, where words weren’t needed because her touch spoke louder than anything she could say.

Her forehead pressed against yours, water dripping between you, and she whispered it again, "I love you". Over and over again. It was reverent, almost fragile, like she was convincing herself just as much as she was convincing you.

Your hands found her, fingers threading through damp strands of red as she kissed you, deep and slow, like she was breathing you in. Every touch, every movement, felt like a plea - don’t doubt me, don’t doubt this, don’t leave.

She held you like you were something precious. Like you were something she wasn’t sure she deserved but was too afraid to let go of. Her lips brushed over your shoulder, her breath warm against your skin as she murmured, "you´re everything to me."

The weight of those words settled deep in your chest. She didn’t say it often, definetly not like this. Not stripped down to its rawest form, with no teasing, no distractions. Just her, open and vulnerable, asking for something she didn’t quite know how to name. So you gave it to her.

Your fingers trailed along her spine, tracing invisible lines over old scars, new ones, the history of everything she had endured and survived. "I love you too, so much," you whispered, barely audible over the steady rush of water.

Natasha exhaled, a shaky breath against your skin, and then she held you tighter, as if grounding herself in your warmth. She kissed you again, not rushed, not desperate. Just deep. Meaningful. Like she was pouring everything into it, everything she didn’t know how to say.

taglist: @starrycherie, @esposadejoyhuerta

#adele writes #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x female #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff

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celestialgallaghers · 2 days ago

Text

White Mustang: Tuesday [18+]

I don't even have a note for this one.

Summary: You were younger then, and it was only a crush. Something harmless born in the long hours of a studio summer. But now Noel’s here, newly divorced and quieter then you remember, sharing a house on your family’s holiday. He’s more distant, harder to read, and somehow even more gorgeous with age. Suddenly the feelings you thought had faded are back in full force. But he’s still off limits… isn’t he?

Word count: 3.3k

Tuesday

As soon as you opened your eyes, a wave of dread hit you.

You’d kissed Noel. And he’d run off.

The thought of facing him now made your stomach twist. How were you supposed to walk around pretending you didn’t know what his mouth tasted like? How soft his lips were. The weight of his tongue…

You groaned and rolled over, squeezing your eyes shut in the hope that sleep would come again. Anything to delay seeing him.

A knock at the door woke you again. Your heart jumped into your throat until you heard Emily’s voice call your name.

You dragged yourself out of bed and let her in, squinting at the morning light. She bounced in, bright and chipper.

"Get up," she said. “We’re going on a yacht.”

You blinked at her. “Whose yacht?”

“Noel’s got a connection,” she grinned.

Of course he did.

You showered quickly and got dressed, slipping oversized sunglasses onto your face in the hopes they’d shield you from Noel as much as the sun. You weren’t ready to face him. To see the look on his face. You had a feeling it wouldn’t be good.

When you arrived at the dock, the yacht was already teeming with people. Noel’s friends, a few others you didn’t recognize. God, it must be nice to live like this.

The boat was big enough that you could lose yourself among the crowd, and you gratefully stuck close to Emily. There were even a few people your age milling around, easy enough to strike up conversation with. It was just enough to keep your mind busy and away from the sharp pit in your stomach.

A few hours passed. The sun was high above you, beating down. You were mid reach for another drink when you saw him. Alone at the end of the boat, staring out into the endless sea.

You hesitated for a moment. Neither of you had said a word to each other all day. But you knew you couldn’t leave it like this. And maybe it was the champagne fizzling through your veins, but you found yourself crossing the deck before you could second guess it.

You stopped beside him, a careful distance away, and leaned against the rail. The sea stretched out in front of you, shimmering and blinding.

“Hi,” you said, speaking more to the water than him.

Noel stiffened almost imperceptibly but didn’t turn to look at you. His eyes stayed trained ahead.

“Hey,” he replied gruffly.

Silence hung heavy between you. You stared at the horizon, willing the words to come out.

“I’m just gonna say this,” you began, heart thudding. “What happened last night… it didn’t feel wrong. Not to me.”

He said nothing. Just lifted his drink, took a slow sip, and kept his gaze fixed on the water.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking,” you said, forcing a shaky breath, “but I know you’re not happy. And I know this trip was supposed to help. So if I’ve made it worse, I’m sorry. That wasn’t the point.”

Still nothing.

You swallowed hard. Every word felt heavier than it had in your head.

“I meant what I said. About a fling.” You paused, heart hammering against your ribs. “We’ve only got three more days. That’s all I’m offering. No strings. No expectations. Just...whatever this is. If you want it.”

You let the silence stretch, hoping for any sign from him.

But Noel stayed still. Staring ahead like you hadn’t even spoken.

Your stomach sank.

“If you change your mind,” you said quietly, “you know where to find me.”

You didn’t wait for a response. You bit down on your disappointment, turned around, and walked away, heart pounding in your ears.

You kept your distance for the rest of the day. He seemed to keep his distance too, though whether it was intentional or not, you couldn’t tell.

The boat docked just as the sun began to sink low over the horizon, casting the sky in gold and pink. As soon as you arrived at the house, you went straight to your room, claiming exhaustion.

But really, it was just easier not to see him.

Hours passed. You heard the others say their goodnights, voices drifting down the hall.

By midnight, you tried to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. Your mind spun circles, full of everything you wished you’d said differently to Noel.

By one a.m., you were still wide awake, staring at the ceiling, stomach knotted tight with regret. You were starting to lose hope, starting to believe you’d ruined it for good. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, hot and stupid, just as a soft knock sounded at your door.

You bolted upright, heart thudding against your ribs. For a second you thought you’d imagined it, but then crossed the room and cracked open the door.

Noel stood there in a loose T-shirt and sweats, hair messy, looking like he hadn’t been able to sleep either.

You stared at each other for a long moment, the air between you heavy and uncertain.

He cleared his throat. “Can I come in?”

You stepped aside without a word. He slipped in, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

The room felt too small now. Or maybe he was just taking up all the air.

For a long stretch, neither of you spoke.

Then, voice low, he said, “I tried to leave it alone. Tried to ignore you today.”

Your heart kicked hard in your chest. But you said nothing.

He let out a breath, almost a laugh but not quite.

“Didn’t work.”

He looked at you then, straight on. “Haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.”

You could feel your pulse in every inch of your body.

“I meant what I said,” you whispered. “I'm not trying to mess with your head. I'm not expecting anything after this trip. I just...want you. I could help you. If you want me too.”

For a second, he didn’t say anything. You wondered if you'd pushed too hard, misread everything.

But then he exhaled sharply.

“You have no idea how much I fucking want you.”

And then he moved.

One heartbeat he was standing there, the next he was on you—hands at your hips, tugging you close, his mouth crashing onto yours.

And when he kissed you, it wasn’t tentative. It was desperate. Starved. Like he was trying to erase every second he’d wasted pretending he didn’t want this.

You gasped into him, arms winding around his neck, tasting the bitter edge of the cigars everyone had smoked earlier sharp against the heat of his mouth.

You clung to him, kissing him back just as fiercely. His hands roamed your body, slower now as he deepened the kiss, tongue stroking into your mouth with a soft, wrecked sound that sent molten heat flooding your veins.

You barely registered falling back onto the bed. Mouths crashing, hands frantic. You tugged at the hem of his shirt, and Noel pulled back just long enough to yank it over his head and toss it aside.

For a moment, you just looked at him. His chest rising and falling, mouth parted slightly, eyes burning.

Then you surged back in, kissing him harder, hands exploring the warm, bare skin of his back.

He let you. Breathed hard against your lips. But you could still feel it. Tension drawn tight beneath his skin.

He wanted this. But he didn’t know how to let it happen easily. Didn’t know how to let go

You pulled back just enough to meet his eyes.

“Noel,” you whispered. “It’s okay. I promise.”

You kissed him again, slower this time, then gently nudged at his shoulder. He tensed, uncertain, but let you guide him until his back was to you.

If he couldn’t get there in his head, you’d have to help get him there through his body.

You climbed onto your knees behind him, hands finding the rigid line of his shoulders. You pressed your fingers in, slow and firm, into the tight knots beneath his skin.

At first, he was stiff under your touch. Not pulling away, but not giving in either.

“Stop fighting me so hard,” you murmured near his ear, your breath warm against him. “You need to relax.”

A rough breath left him. Almost a laugh. His head dropped forward slightly, letting you in without even meaning to.

Your thighs bracketed his hips, holding him close, your chest warm against his back. He grunted softly as your fingers kneaded into his muscles, slowly working through all the tension he’d been carrying for far too long.

Your hands moved lower, pressing into the space between his shoulder blades. You leaned in, lips brushing the nape of his neck in a lingering kiss.

Noel flinched, then stilled. You caught the tremor in his breath, the way he leaned, just barely, into your touch.

You stayed patient. Steady. And slowly, he let himself sink deeper against you, his resistance softening.

You kissed along the curve of his neck, tasting salt and heat, his pulse fluttering beneath your tongue. A soft, low groan slipped from him, unguarded, and heat bloomed low in your belly in response.

Your hands drifted lower, massaging the small of his back, the tension easing with every slow stroke.

He tilted his neck, baring it for you. Offering it. You kissed the tender spot just below his ear, teasing. Another broken sound escaped him, and you tightened your thighs around his hips, aching for any friction to ease the throb building inside you.

Your nails raked lightly down his back, and he shivered so hard it echoed through your bones.

Your hands slid around to his waist, fingertips brushing the sensitive skin of his stomach. The muscles there fluttered under your touch, tensing then easing as he surrendered a little more.

You leaned closer, voice low and coaxing at his ear. “Let me take care of you.”

For a long moment, he didn’t speak. Just breathed shakily.

Then he nodded. “Yeah,” he rasped. “Okay.”

You smiled against his skin, kissing just behind his ear. You could feel it now. The way his body had slowly yielded into your hands. How badly he needed this without knowing how to ask for it.

Your hands moved lower, fingertips brushing the waistband of his sweats, skimming lightly over the hardness straining beneath.

You felt, more than heard, the breath he let out. The way he shifted under your touch, like he couldn’t stop himself, sent heat pulsing between your legs.

His head dropped back to your shoulder, a ragged, almost soundless sigh escaping him. Relief. Or maybe just gratitude.

Carefully, you shifted around in front of him, slow enough to give him every chance to stop you if he needed to.

You sank to your knees and stopped cold.

Fuck.

He looked like something out of a dream. Chest rising and falling, eyes hooded and wrecked, his whole body humming with want. And his face… Christ. He was beautiful like this.

Then your gaze dropped, and your mouth went dry. The thick bulge straining against his sweats made your mind reel with the full weight of what you were doing. What was about to happen.

You hooked your fingers into the waistband, looking up at him.

“This okay?” you whispered, voice almost trembling with how much you wanted him.

He nodded, his eyes locked on yours. Something had shifted in him. Like he’d finally allowed himself to just feel.

You swallowed hard, dragging his sweats down and off. For a moment, you just stared, heart pounding, feeling the heat rolling off him in waves.

All worked up. All from you.

You’d done this to him. He wanted you.

The thought made you dizzy with need. You rose up, straddled his lap, and cradled his face in your hands as you kissed him again.

Noel let out a needy sound as you settled over him, hands digging into your hips. You rocked against him, feeling the hot, throbbing press of him against your soaked center, pulling a soft gasp from your lips.

He shuddered beneath you, and the feeling of his body against yours sent a sharp, sweet pulse between your thighs.

One hand slipped beneath your shirt, rough palm skimming up your spine. When he cupped your breast, thumb brushing delicately over the peak, it was almost too much.

You whimpered into his mouth, a helpless sound, and his hips jerked beneath you in response, another rough groan tearing from his throat.

For a while, you just stayed there. Kissing him. Touching him. Rocking slow and lazy against him, stoking the fire between you without letting it catch all the way.

You needed to feel all of it. Everything you’d ached for. Everything you'd wanted years ago and never let yourself take.

When you finally pulled back, his eyes were dazed, shining a little in the low light. You kissed the corner of his mouth one more time, then slipped off his lap and knelt before him.

Your fingers hooked into the waistband of his boxers. You looked up at him once, just to be sure.

He gave a shaky nod, lips parted, chest rising in shallow, desperate breaths.

You swallowed thickly and pulled them down.

When he sprang free, you went still. You couldn't even breathe.

He was... breathtaking. Flushed and heavy and beautiful in a way that made your pulse stutter. Your mouth went dry. Your body clenched with such sharp ache you nearly whimpered.

You’d felt him before, hard and pressing against you. But seeing him now was something else entirely.

It wasn’t fair, you thought dimly, half-dazed by the size of him.

You looked up through your lashes, offering him one final out. But he just stared down at you, utterly still.

Your hand curled around him slowly, feeling the heat and hardness of him throb in your palm. He was so fucking hard already, straining toward you, aching in a way that sent a fresh rush of arousal flooding through you.

Noel sucked in a breath, chest rising sharply.

Then you lowered your mouth to him, letting the heavy weight of him settle on your tongue.

Noel let out a guttural moan that sounded torn straight from his chest. His head snapped back, eyes squeezed shut like the pleasure hurt.

“Oh—”

“Quiet,” you hissed, pulling off briefly, voice thick with amusement and desire.

You couldn’t help it. You loved how undone he already was.

His eyes flew open, wide and wrecked, and he nodded frantically, biting down on his fist to keep from making another sound.

You took him back into your mouth, moving slowly, savoring every twitch, every muffled breath. Watching him struggle to stay quiet only turned you on more.

You hollowed your cheeks and sucked hard. He bucked helplessly into your mouth, another broken whimper lost against his hand.

He reached down, fingers tangling tightly in your hair.

You moaned low around him, feeling him twitch on your tongue. He cursed under his breath, hips jerking again.

You pulled back, spit slick and glistening across him, and stroked him with your hand as you took him deeper, until he hit the back of your throat.

Noel's hips bucked up involuntarily and a ragged, muffled sound escaped him, like he was trying with everything he had to stay quiet for you.

You bobbed your head faster now, filthy, wet sounds filling the room as you pushed him closer and closer to the edge.

His body was trembling so hard now you could barely hold him still.

You didn’t stop. You wanted all of it. Every broken sound, every shiver. The way he unraveled for you made you ache to take care of him.

His grip on your hair tightened. He pushed at your shoulder in warning, but you stayed firm. You wanted to be the one to carry him through.

You sucked harder, tongue dragging alone the sensitive underside, and with a strangled groan, he lost it.

Noel came hard with a violent shudder, spilling hot and heavy down your throat, biting into his palm to keep from crying out. You swallowed him down, not stopping until he sagged back against the bed.

You sat back on your heels, breathless, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Your heart pounding wildly as you watched him. Completely wrecked.

You couldn’t stop the small, satisfied smile that curled your lips.

Judging by the thick, staggering amount you’d just swallowed, one thought struck you hard:

How long had it been since anyone had touched him like this?

The question hit deeper than expected, sparking something protective in you.

Your legs trembled slightly as you stood. Noel lay sprawled across the bed, chest heaving, sweat glistening at his temples. He looked heartbreakingly beautiful.

Eyes closed, body loose and heavy with satisfaction.

You moved carefully, easing his head into your lap. He didn’t resist. A low, contented sound escaped him as he settled against you.

You carded your fingers slowly through his hair, letting the silence stretch.

You tried to ignore the ache still pulsing between your thighs. Tried to ignore the way his breath against your bare skin made your body shiver.

He needed this more than you did.

For a long time, neither of you spoke. The room felt heavy with the weight of what had just passed between you.

Finally, he cracked one eye open, looking up at you with a lazy, ruined sort of smile.

“I can't remember the last time I had a blowjob like that,” he muttered, voice thick and slurred from pleasure.

You laughed softly, brushing it off even as warmth crept up your neck. “That good, huh?”

Noel let out a shaky chuckle, the sound rumbling against your thighs. “Fuckin’ hell,” he breathed.

He looked lighter somehow. Less burdened. Like you’d taken something heavy from him, if only for a little while.

“Feeling better?” you teased, smoothing his hair back again.

“Better,” he echoed. He gave your thigh a gentle squeeze. Like a silent thank you.

Silence fell again. You wondered if you were the first person he’d touched since the divorce. The first person to touch him back.

Eventually, he stirred, like he was about to get up. But before he moved, he spoke, low and reluctant. Like it cost him something.

“Needed that,” he muttered.

Not you, not your touch. Not your mouth.

Just that. The release only you could give him.

You smiled softly, letting him keep the illusion. Your fingers slid through his hair one last time before you nudged him upright.

“Come on,” you whispered. “Get dressed. You’re about to pass out.”

He blinked up at you, sluggish but teasing. “You calling me old?”

You tossed his shirt at him, grinning. “Never.”

He dragged it over his head with a rough huff of laughter. But he paused halfway, something still on his mind.

He reached out and tugged at the hem of your shirt like he might keep going.

“I’m fine,” you said quietly, even though your whole body throbbed with want.

He shifted. “I’m not usually...like this,” he muttered, not quite meeting your eyes.

“Like what?” you asked gently.

“Selfish.”

The word was gruff. A little defensive.

Before you could respond, he reached out and cupped your jaw, kissing you slow and deep.

“I'll make it up to you,” he murmured against your lips.

The promise in his voice made your stomach flip all over again.

Before you could say anything, he ruffled your hair with a lazy smirk and slipped out the door.

You sat there for a long moment, heart pounding, staring at the closed door.

Then you collapsed back onto the bed, your body still humming, your lips tingling, the taste of him still on your tongue.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

You couldn’t wait to see what he had in mind.

#noel gallagher x reader #noel gallagher x you #noel gallagher fic #noel gallagher #noel gallagher smut

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cottoncandytomu · 2 years ago

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Why is Abby Anderson so fucking fine?

#I’m playing the game and GOOD GAWD #I have to pause and stare at her every three seconds #abby anderson #my abble

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sunsburns · 2 months ago

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forget it — joaquín torres (marvel) !

⟢ synopsis. request: reuniting with ex!joaquín after his near death experience, but you’re the nurse assigned to his care after he gets out of surgery. you broke up a couple years ago because of your very demanding careers, and you don’t see him until you realize they put YOU on babysitting duty to nurse him back to health, yikes!

⟢ contains. spoilers for brave new world! joaquín torres x nurse!reader, so much angst you’re gonna want to block me!! mentions of death, blood, gore, possible inaccurate medical procedures (i am not a nurse idk how that works), open ending but it's honestly realistic and cute.

⟢ word count. 13.7k+

⟢ author’s note. i learned medical terms for this

You like to think that every decision you’ve made has shaped you into the best version of yourself.

A better student, a better nurse, a better person. You’ve spent years honing your skills, pushing yourself past limits, ensuring that when it matters most, you’ll be capable—prepared. You might not have superpowers, enhanced genes, or combat training, but you have your mind, your steady hands, your patience. That’s what makes a difference in the field you’ve chosen. That’s what saves lives.

And it’s paid off. You don’t work at just any hospital—you work at this one. A private facility that caters to soldiers, government agents, and the kind of people who make headlines when things go wrong. The kind of people who disappear into classified reports. The kind of people you don’t expect to see lying unconscious under your care.

But you love your job. You love the structure of it, the control. You love the fact that, in a world constantly spinning off its axis, you can still do something that makes sense. You have your patients, your colleagues, your friends, your family. You still go out when you can, still make time to shop, and still remember to water your plants. Life is steady. Good.

And yet—

There’s something missing.

It creeps in during the quiet moments, when the hospital halls are still, and the steady beep of a heart monitor is the only thing filling the silence. It lingers in the space between breaths, in the pause before you check a chart, in the phantom weight of something you can’t quite name. A presence that once was, or maybe never was, but should have been.

You have everything you’ve ever worked for. So why does it still feel like something’s missing?

You don’t let yourself dwell on it. It’s ridiculous. You have your health. You have your life.

And you know better than anyone how fragile both of those things can be.

You remind yourself of how lucky you are because you’ve seen the alternative too many times. Lives wrecked and ruined by things far beyond anyone’s control. You’ve watched the light fade from seven pairs of eyes. Seven people who didn’t make it. Seven moments that carved themselves into your memory, no matter how hard you try to forget.

You haven’t even been working for three years.

And yet—

You’d hate to see the day when someone you love is one of them.

The thought grips you too tightly, too suddenly, and you only realize you’ve been staring at your hands under the running faucet when the sound of your name cuts through the fog.

“Look what I made!”

You blink, water still rushing over your fingertips, skin already pruning. A slow exhale leaves you as you reach for the faucet, shutting off the tap. The chill lingers on your skin even as you tear a paper towel from the dispenser, crumpling in your damp grip as you turn.

Maria is sitting up in bed, dark eyes bright with excitement as she holds out a carefully folded piece of olive-green paper.

She beams at you, her small fingers cradling the delicate shape with a reverence that makes your heartache. It takes a second for recognition to click. An origami bird.

“What’s this?” you coo, stepping closer.

Maria is a few weeks shy of nine. She should be at home planning her birthday party, picking out a cake, laughing with friends. Instead, she’s here. Confined to this sterile room, surrounded by too-white walls and the soft beeping of machines monitoring the inexplicable changes in her body. She isn’t dying. But she isn’t getting better, either.

Exposure to some strange quantum disturbance in San Francisco had led to her transfer here, to Washington, under your care. Away from reporters, away from speculation, away from anyone who might pry too closely while the government tries to figure out what happened to her.

“It’s a bird. Like the one on TV.” She explains, her tiny fingers carefully adjusting the wings.

You glance at the television, expecting to see another nature documentary—the kind she’s grown fond of in the past few weeks. But when your eyes land on the screen, you freeze.

A news channel. A live interview. Captain America and the Falcon, still in their gear, standing at an Air Force base. The headline scrolling across the bottom of the screen is a blur. Something about a mission. About another near disaster averted.

Falcon stands just behind Captain America, posture sharp, hands clasped loosely in front of him, expression serious but composed. His suit still bears the scuffs of combat, a faint tear along the armoured plating at his ribs. You wonder if it hurts. If he’s bleeding. If he even let anyone check.

A small huff leaves your lips before you can stop it.

You can’t remember the last time you saw him. Now, here he is again, on a screen in a hospital room, larger than life.

“You like superheroes, Maria?” You force a lighter tone, turning back to her, moving to check her monitors. It’s unnecessary—you already did this when you came in—but it gives your hands something to do.

“You like superheroes, Maria?” you ask, forcing a lighter tone as you move to check her monitors. It’s unnecessary—you already did this when you came in—but it gives your hands something to do.

“I love superheroes,” she exclaims, voice full of unshakable certainty.

“Yeah?”

“Yes!”

She watches you closely, studying your face with a look that’s far too perceptive for someone her age. Then, after a beat—

“Who’s your favourite Avenger?”

You pretend to think about it. “Hmmm... I don’t know. Maybe... Hawkeye?”

Maria immediately groans, rolling her eyes so hard it nearly makes you laugh. “That’s so boring!” She throws her arms up in exasperation, nearly tugging her IV loose in the process.

“Hey, hey—“ you reach out, gently taking her hands, steadying her before she can do any real damage. “You’re really gonna judge me for that?”

“So boring,” she insists, her signature sass making an appearance. “My mom likes Thor because he has big muscles.”

You snort. “Wow. Okay. And what about you?”

Maria’s expression turns mischievous, blushing slightly as she glances back at the screen.

“The Falcon.”

The words land like a punch to the ribs.

You swallow hard, but the lump in your throat stays put. You should have seen it coming, the way she lit up at the sight of him on TV, but it still catches you off guard.

Because for Maria, it’s admiration.

For you, it’s something else entirely.

“He’s so cool,” you manage, your voice lighter than you feel. “I don’t think he’s an Avenger, though.”

Unless he is and you have missed that entire chapter of his life. A lot had happened in the last few years—you wouldn’t put it past him to just forget to mention something like that. Not that either of you were on speaking terms anyway.

Maria grins, a small, mischievous thing, and before you can move, she takes your hand in hers and presses something into your palm.

“Here.”

You glance down.

The bird.

You blink at the delicate folds of olive-green paper, the slight tilt of its wings. It’s small, fits perfectly in your hand, but somehow, it feels heavier than it should.

“You have it.”

You open your mouth—to tell her she should keep it, that it’s hers—but the words never leave your throat. The sincerity in her gaze keeps you quiet, so instead, you close your fingers carefully around the paper bird, holding it like something fragile.

“Thank you, Maria,” you say softly.

You still have the bird.

It sits on your nightstand even now, weeks later, its delicate folds untouched, a reminder of that small moment. Of Maria.

You hadn’t thought much about that conversation at the time. Maria’s gift had been sweet, and you had found it endearing—the kind of innocent kindness that children offered so easily.

It wasn’t every day you cared for someone so young in this hospital, and while that was a blessing, it didn’t make it any easier when that child was rolled in on a stretcher.

And it wasn’t until a week later that you remembered Maria’s words.

Not until you watched a familiar face get wheeled into the hospital.

You had heard about it first—on the news, in passing conversations between coworkers. Another mission. Another near-tragedy. Another casualty.

And then you saw it.

The frantic rush of bodies in the emergency bay. The whine of a helicopter’s rotor blades still echoing through the halls, rattling against the glass doors. The sharp, sterile scent of antiseptic burning your nose, mixing with the metallic tang of blood—so much blood, too much of it pooling beneath the stretcher, staining the floor, the sheets, the hands of every ER staff trying to keep him together.

Your coworkers moved fast, their voices sharp and urgent as they swarmed the broken, battered body like bees to a collapsing hive. You barely recognized him at first. His suit—scorched in places, torn in others—hung off him in tatters, the once-pristine armour dented and smeared with something dark.

His skin was pale—too pale.

His lips were slightly parted, chest rising and falling in short, uneven gasps like every breath cost him something.

The blur of medical jargon barely registered in your mind, words overlapping, breaking, reforming into pieces that didn’t quite fit together. But certain ones still made it through the haze, lodging themselves somewhere deep inside you, where they twisted like a knife.

“Heart palpitations—“

“Severe burns—“

“Broken arm—“

“Breath is weak—“

“We’re gonna need a defibrillator—“

“Won’t make it to the OR—“

Your heart stuttered.

You would’ve rather never seen Joaquín Torres again for the rest of your life than see him like this. Like that.

And after that, you were moving on autopilot.

The rest of the day blurred together, slipping through your fingers like sand. You went through the motions, nodding when spoken to, keeping your hands busy, but nothing really stuck. The only thing that did was time—how it crawled, stretched, and bled into itself.

One hour turned to two.

Two turned to four.

Four turned into a sharp, sickening pause.

You were just about to punch out for the night, car keys hanging loosely from your fingers when you heard it.

“His heart gave out. Medically dead for T-minus 30 seconds. Extra hands needed.”

You froze.

The words echoed, hollow and distant like they were being spoken underwater. A strange ringing had started in your ears. You weren’t sure if it was real or just something inside your own head—maybe both.

You had already been hesitant about leaving without checking in on him. You could’ve gone in. You had clearance. But you didn’t.

And now?

Now, you were hearing his heart gave out?

Your mind ran ahead of you, filling in the gaps before you could stop it—could almost hear the faint, dull whine of the machines, the inevitable, lifeless flatline.

The surgeon calling out the time of death.

Your own heart lurched violently in your chest.

Your feet were moving before you even made the decision, carrying you faster than you thought possible. You nearly crashed into the doors of the emergency wing, swiping your card into the OR viewing room, stumbling into the dimly lit space. Your breath came short, choppy, your pulse hammering in your ears.

Your eyes locked onto the glass.

And then—

“Clear!”

Joaquín’s body jerked violently, his back arching off the table before collapsing again.

From where you stood, you couldn’t see or hear the monitor. Couldn’t tell if there was a beat or if it was still that awful, empty silence.

“Clear!”

His body seized again, limbs convulsing before falling limp.

You flinched, a breath hitching painfully somewhere inside you.

The panic clawing up your ribs only loosened when you saw the doctors start to relax, their frantic movements easing back into precision. You watched, rooted to the spot, as they worked—saw the ventilator strapped tightly around Joaquín’s face, the way they were cutting into him, the deep burns covering his side.

But it didn’t feel like him.

He looked dead.

He looked so, so dead.

Your fingers dug into the ledge of the viewing window, knuckles white.

And suddenly you can remember the last time you saw him. A memory that grabs you like a vice.

He was so alive, and he was crying.

His eyes were red and bloodshot, but he wasn’t making a sound. Just staring at you, jaw clenched so tight you swore you could hear his teeth grind. His hands—warm, steady even in their trembling—gripped yours, his touch so familiar, so safe. His fingers curled around your palms like he could keep you here just by holding on tight enough. Like if he let go, he knew he would never get to touch you again.

His skin burned beneath your fingertips.

Like home.

But the warmth of him, the heat of his touch, it didn’t reach his eyes. And you knew—God, you knew—this was the last time.

The ring that sat on your finger was like a wound that wouldn’t stop bleeding.

You hadn’t even noticed the way your breath had started to shake, the way your shoulders had drawn in like you could shield yourself from what was coming. The weight of his forehead pressing against yours was the only thing keeping you grounded, the rise and fall of his chest meeting yours in a rhythm that was almost enough to trick you into believing, for just a second, that nothing had to change.

And then he pulled away.

It was slow like he was giving you time to stop him. Like he wanted you to stop him.

But neither of you moved.

His fingers ghosted over your left hand, tracing over the ring like he was committing the shape of it to memory. You swore his breath hitched when he touched it, but he didn’t hesitate. Not when he curled his fingers around the band. Not when he gave the gentlest, barely-there tug.

The metal slipped from your skin.

The absence was instant. A phantom weight. A missing limb.

Your breath stilled.

He turned it over in his palm once, twice, before slipping it into his pocket, the movement almost absentminded. Like he wasn’t crumbling apart inside. Like he wasn’t shattering this thing between you both with his own two hands.

And then you kissed him. And he kissed you back.

It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t hesitant. It was desperate. A broken thing—raw, aching, more plea than passion. His lips pressed to yours with the kind of hunger that tasted like regret, like grief, like goodbye. There was no hesitation when his fingers slid up to cradle your jaw, no distance between your bodies when he pulled you in, chests flush, like he was trying to fuse himself to you, trying to rewrite the ending of this moment with the press of his lips alone.

You tasted the salt of tears.

Yours or his, you couldn’t tell.

You felt his hands tremble when they skimmed over your skin. It hurt—fuck, it hurt—the way you knew neither of you wanted to pull away, but you would. You had to.

But you stayed. For a minute. For a breath. Lips lingering, foreheads pressed together, hands gripping tighter even as the seconds slipped away from you both.

He was the first to move.

The absence of his lips was instant—a cold, hollow thing. But he didn’t pull away entirely, not yet. His nose brushed against yours, his fingers curled at the back of your neck, like if he could just stay here for another second, one more second, maybe none of this had to be real.

Then, finally, painfully, he let go.

That kiss was one that lingered, burned, long after he was gone.

He was alive then. And so were you.

But when the door shut, a part of you had died.

And watching his body, motionless on that operating table, you thought maybe a part of him had, too.

It was hard to grieve someone who had never died.

You don’t realize how long you’ve been standing there, staring through the glass, until someone says your name.

Your body jolts, and when you spin around, you're surprised to find Sam Wilson standing a few feet away. His voice had been steady, but his eyes—God, his eyes—heavy with something unspoken, something worn. You wonder how long he’s been there. You think it must’ve been a while, judging by the exhaustion shadowing his face. The bags under his eyes aren’t just from one night of lost sleep.

You’ve met him plenty of times before—hell, you’ve had dinner with the guy on multiple occasions—but something about seeing him now, here, leaves you speechless. Maybe it’s because he’s not just Sam. He’s Captain America, the man Joaquín idolized. And he looks... helpless.

You feel your entire body tense. “Sir—“ Your voice cracks at the word, and you hate it.

Sam exhales, long and slow. “I was gonna call. I mean, I don’t know if you know this, but you’re still the kid’s emergency contact.” He rubs a hand over his face. “I just... I didn’t know what terms you guys were on. I know the breakup was pretty bad and...” He trails off, looking at you like he’s bracing for impact. “I didn’t know if you’d show up.”

“I…” You swallow thickly. You should say something. Anything. But you don’t know how to find the words.

“Were you working?”

You glance down at your scrubs as if you need to confirm it. “Yeah... I just... I heard about his heart, um... how long was he...?”

Sam hesitates. He doesn’t want to say it. But he does. “Two minutes.”

You suck in a breath, sharp and cold, and instinctively look back through the glass. Joaquín is still now, the chaos momentarily subdued. He’s always been restless, always in motion, a man who never seemed to sit still to save his life. And now he’s just... lying there. You feel nauseous.

You don’t know what to say. You think Sam doesn’t either.

“I’m sorry, kid.” His voice is hoarse. “I’m sorry. For Joaquín. I never meant for this to happen. I’m always telling him to be more careful, but you know how he is—”

Do you?

You don’t know how much someone can change in the time you and Joaquín have been apart. You think you still know him. You remember how he used to be—stubborn, hard-headed. Kind, too. Always quick with a response, always teasing. Always warm.

You don’t think you’re remembering him the way Sam asks you to.

“Um... sorry.” You blink, realizing how long you’ve been zoning out. You should say something more. Something meaningful. But your throat is tight, and your hands shake at your sides. Sam looks just as lost as you feel.

“Fuck, sorry,” you mutter, rubbing at your face. “Are you okay?”

Sam blinks. He looks genuinely surprised by the question. “Am I—? Are you okay?”

You nod too fast, stuffing your hands into your back pockets. The heart monitor beeps steadily in the background, grounding you in the moment. “Yeah, I just… You were out there too. Did you get hit? I can check for a concussion.”

Sam says your name, and the way he says it—soft, sad—makes your lip quiver. When he steps forward, you don’t resist. You meet him in the middle, letting him wrap his arms around you, his warmth solid and steady. You tuck your face into his chest, only realizing you’ve been crying when you see the darkened patches on his shirt. He smells like coffee, and—funnily enough—a little bit like Joaquín.

“I’m sorry, kid.” His voice is tight, thick. Like he’s been holding back his own grief for too long.

You hum under his hold. “It’s not your fault,” you say because you think it’s what he needs to hear. You don’t know what happened out there, don’t know who made what call, but Sam relaxes just a fraction at your words. You hug him back.

The hours bleed together after that. You sit with Sam in the waiting area, watching the surgery unfold from a distance. Neither of you leave for long—only to grab coffee, maybe splash cold water on your face—but you don’t sleep. Sam doesn’t either, even when you suggest it. He stays rooted to his chair, jaw clenched, watching the clock.

He doesn’t move until the surgery is almost finished, until the surgeon is finally stitching up Joaquín.

And even then, he stays put.

So do you.

It’s nice, in a way, sitting in this heavy, aching silence. You don’t know what you would’ve done if Sam wasn’t here. You don’t know what he would’ve done if you weren’t.

Sam seems to relax even more when a friend of his shows up—Bucky. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him in person before, but you recognize the way Sam’s shoulders loosen just slightly like something fragile inside him can take a break. Bucky nods at you, then at Sam, and without a word, he takes a seat next to him.

You don’t say anything either.

Because you don’t need to.

For the first time in hours, Sam exhales like he’s not carrying the world on his shoulders.

You leave only when he urges you to, though it takes less than a minute after Joaquín is sent out for recovery.

You barely remember the drive home. The world outside the hospital blurs past in streaks of streetlights and empty roads, your hands gripping the wheel just a little too tightly. Every red light feels longer than it should, every breath harder to take. By the time you step inside your apartment, exhaustion settles in your bones, but sleep never truly comes. You close your eyes and see glimpses of him—Joaquín on the operating table, still and silent in a way he never should be.

You wake up before the sun rises, restless, your body aching with the kind of fatigue that sleep can’t fix.

By the time you return to the hospital, it’s at a strange hour—too early for the day shift, too late for the night crew. The hospital is caught in that eerie in-between where the halls are too quiet, where the few people still moving about do so in hushed voices. The fluorescent lights overhead hum, stark and artificial against the pale blue of the walls.

You’re running on espresso shots and the growing pit in your stomach, a weight that presses heavier with every step.

Joaquín is here. You know that. You have known that for almost twenty-four hours now.

But the thought still makes your hands cold. It was easier when you didn’t know what State he was in, or what he was doing—if he was even in the country.

You don’t let yourself think too much about it. You go through the motions, moving from patient to patient, checking vitals, signing off charts, trying to push through the fog in your mind. It almost works—almost—until you step out of Maria’s room and spot Amanda, the Chief Nursing Officer, walking toward you.

She smiles, clipboard tucked under her arm, but there’s something in the way she looks at you. Something unreadable.

You can already feel the dread start to wrap itself around your ribs.

“Hey, how’s it going?” she asks, falling into step beside you.

“Good,” you reply automatically. “What’s up?”

She doesn’t answer right away. Instead, she takes your tablet, her fingers brushing against yours for just a second too long. You furrow your brows, taking it from her, but your stomach twists at the hesitance in her gaze.

“There’s been a bit of a change,” she finally says. “Kit’s taking over Nicholas now.”

That makes you pause.

You've been taking care of Nicholas for a little over a month, an older man who came back from the blip different, well… different was a nice way to put it.

“Oh?”

Amanda nods, opening a new file on your screen before watching you closely. “Here,” she says, passing you the updated patient file. “Your new assignment.”

You take the tablet, adjusting your grip as you glance down at the screen—only to feel the air sucked from your lungs.

Captain Joaquín Torres.

The name alone makes your heart lurch, when did he become a captain? But then your eyes drop to the image beneath it.

You freeze.

Joaquín, unconscious. His skin is bruised, his face pale under the harsh lighting of the hospital room. The ventilator is taped to his mouth, bandages covering his side where the burns must be. He looks… wrong.

Your stomach turns.

“Um.” You barely recognize your own voice. “I don’t think I can take this one.”

Amanda’s brows knit together. “Why not?”

“It’s…” You swallow, suddenly hyperaware of how dry your throat feels. “It’s a personal case.”

“I know.”

That makes you look up, and when you do, Amanda is already watching you with that same careful expression—understanding, but unwavering. “That’s why I’m assigning it to you,” she says, soft but firm.

You stare at her, trying to process the words.

“Familiar faces help in recovery,” Amanda says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Waking up to someone he knows might do him some good.”

Your grip tightens around the tablet, fingers pressing into the smooth surface as your pulse pounds in your ears.

“Not everyone gets shot out of the sky by the military and lives to tell the tale.”

She’s right. You know she’s right.

But Joaquín isn’t just anyone.

And it’s been a long time since you’ve been a familiar face.

Would he even want to wake up to you?

You don’t ask that. You don’t let yourself. Instead, you swallow around the knot in your throat and force a nod. “Okay.”

Amanda watches you for a moment, searching your face like she can see everything you’re trying to hide. Then, she squeezes your shoulder, her touch warm and grounding. “You got this.”

You wish you believed her.

You suck in your pride as Amanda walks away and your fingers tighten around the tablet as you glance down at Joaquín’s medical file, his name printed in bold letters at the top. You already know his blood type, his medical history, his baseline vitals—things you shouldn’t still remember but do anyway. It feels strange seeing them laid out so clinically like he’s just another patient.

Your thumb swipes down the screen, scanning through his injuries. Severe burns on the left side of his torso. A broken radius and a fractured humerus on his right arm. The notes estimate he’ll be unconscious for a few more days, maybe a week at most. The doctors don’t think it’ll be a long coma.

He might wake up anytime.

Your stomach twists.

The live security feed on the tablet shows a grainy, black-and-white image of him, still and silent in the hospital bed, wrapped in layers of bandages and hooked up to machines that beep in steady intervals. The sight of him like this, unmoving, is almost more unsettling than the injuries themselves.

The elevator ride to his floor feels endless, but when the doors finally slide open, the hallway ahead stretches on like something out of a dream—too long, too empty, too quiet. The soft hum of fluorescent lights overhead fills the silence, and your shoes barely make a sound against the polished tile.

You’ve never hesitated like this before. No patient has ever made your heart pound this hard before you’ve even stepped into their room.

You stop in front of the door, your ID card clutched tight between your fingers.

He is hurt, you remind yourself. A wounded soldier. He needs care. That’s all this is. Just do your job.

Your hand trembles slightly as you swipe your card for clearance, and for a second, your eyes flicker down—out of habit, maybe—toward your left hand. The ring is gone. Has been for a long time.

You press your lips together and push the door open.

The room smells like antiseptic and fresh flowers.

Your eyes find him instantly.

He’s barely recognizable beneath the layers of medical care—IV lines, gauze, the rigid brace securing his arm. But it’s still him. His curls have grown out, the longer strands curling over his forehead, though the sides are still neatly trimmed. His face is slack with unconsciousness, lips parted slightly as he breathes in slow, measured rhythms.

There’s already a small collection of bouquets on the bedside table, a mix of bright yellows and deep reds—he always liked bold colours. You know more will come, especially once his mother finds out what happened. You pity whoever has to make that phone call.

Your pulse is loud in your ears as you move toward the sink, washing your hands on autopilot before slipping on a pair of gloves. The scent of hospital soap clings to your skin even beneath the latex.

You set the tablet down and step to his bedside, the weight in your chest settling heavier now that you’re standing this close. You can see the damage now. The discoloration where the burns peak through the bandages, the bruises blooming beneath his skin. His arm rests stiffly in its brace, fingers curled loosely at his side.

You hesitate before touching him.

Then, with careful hands, you reach for the hem of his hospital gown, lifting it just enough to expose the bandages on his torso. The dressings are damp, already beginning to seep through.

Too gentle.

You’re taking too long, moving too carefully. This should be routine—cleaning, reapplying, monitoring for infection. But your hands linger a second too long over his skin, your fingers ghosting over the edge of a bandage before you force yourself to focus.

You work in silence, methodical but deliberate, peeling away the old dressings and replacing them with fresh ones. His chest rises and falls steadily beneath your hands, the only sign of life in his otherwise motionless body.

When you finish, you pull the blanket up to his chest, tucking it carefully around him.

You don’t leave right away.

You should. You have other patients to see, and other rounds to make. But you linger for a moment longer, just watching him.

Being here—being this close—feels like stepping into something half-forgotten. Something you’re not sure you’re ready to remember.

With a quiet exhale, you turn away, stripping off your gloves and tossing them in the bin before grabbing the tablet again.

This is just a job.

And you have work to do.

The next few days slip into a pattern—one you follow carefully, almost methodically, because routine is easier than thinking too much.

Joaquín remains unconscious, but his condition improves. You can see it in the subtle things: the way his breathing becomes steadier, how his colour starts to return beneath the bruising, how the tension in his features eases little by little. His body is still healing, but it’s doing what it’s supposed to—recovering, piece by piece.

Somewhere along the way, his mother and grandmother are flown in.

You make sure you’re nowhere near the hospital that day. You tell yourself it’s because you need the rest, that you’ve been pulling extra shifts, that you could use the break. But you know the truth.

You aren’t ready to face them.

You can barely bring yourself to stand in the same room as Joaquín, let alone look his mother in the eye. She always had a way of seeing right through you, of reading between the lines of what you said and what you didn’t. You don’t want to know what she’d find if she looked too closely now.

So you take a sick day. You ignore the tight feeling in your chest when you imagine them sitting at his bedside, his mother smoothing down his curls, his grandmother murmuring quiet prayers over him. You wonder if she blames you. If she thinks you should’ve been there when it happened. If she wonders why you’re here now, after all this time.

But you don’t ask. You don’t want the answer.

The next morning, when you step back into Joaquín’s room, there are more flowers.

The table beside his bed is overflowing now—bouquets of sunflowers, carnations, lilies, roses in every colour. Some are from coworkers, others from people you don’t recognize. A small card tucked between them catches your eye. You don’t pick it up, but you already know who it’s from.

His mother’s handwriting is easy to recognize.

A fresh wave of guilt washes over you, but you push it aside. You busy yourself with checking his IV, adjusting his blankets, making sure everything is in order. The steady beep of the heart monitor is the only sound in the room, save for the occasional rustling of flower petals when a breeze drifts through the open window.

Sam visits often.

He comes at random hours, able to bypass the strict visiting times the hospital has set up, sometimes lingering for only twenty minutes, sometimes staying for hours at a time. You catch glimpses of him in the security feed before you even enter the room—his tall frame slouched in the chair beside Joaquín’s bed, one ankle resting on his knee as he flips through a book.

He plays music sometimes, a quiet hum of familiar songs drifting through the room. You recognize the playlist—the same one Joaquín used to blast while working late, the one he’d force you to listen to whenever he got too excited about a new artist. It’s a mix of genres, the kind that shouldn’t work together but somehow do.

You pretend you don’t notice the way Sam watches you when you walk in, his eyes lingering like he’s waiting for you to say something. But he never pushes. He just nods, sometimes offering a small update about Joaquín’s family or a passing comment about work before settling back into his chair.

Neither of you talk about the fact that Joaquín still hasn’t woken up.

Instead, you go through the motions.

His burns are healing faster than you expected. The bandages come off, revealing raw, pink skin that will take time to fade. His arm is no longer suspended from the ceiling, the rigid brace replaced with a looser sling. His body is catching up with itself, putting itself back together the way it always does.

You try to keep the windows open as the sun sets later and the spring weather gets warmer, letting the sun come into the room. You hope it might bring back that golden tan to his skin.

The air in his room changes as the days go by. The tension shifts—subtle, but there.

The sun sets later now, casting golden light through the blinds in the evenings. You start leaving the windows cracked open, letting the spring breeze filter in, replacing the sterile scent of antiseptic with something softer.

It makes the room feel less like a hospital and more like something else. Something warmer.

But warmth can be deceptive.

Because the closer he gets to waking up, the more real this all becomes.

And you still don’t know what’s going to happen when he finally opens his eyes.

One day, while cleaning his burns, you notice something—something small, but enough to make your breath hitch.

The heart monitor.

The steady rhythm you’ve grown so used to suddenly shifts—just a faint change, barely noticeable, but it’s there. You freeze, your gloved hands hovering over his burned skin, waiting to see if it happens again. The beeping stabilizes after a moment, falling back into its familiar, constant pattern.

You swallow hard, exhaling slowly through your nose.

Maybe it was nothing. A fluke. You’ve seen it happen before—small involuntary fluctuations that don’t mean anything. You force yourself to shake it off, to keep going.

But the moment your hands brush against his skin again, the heart monitor spikes.

This time, you see it. The sudden jump, the erratic beep, the undeniable reaction.

You pull back immediately, like you’ve been singed. Your heart lurches, panic flashing through you because—did you hurt him?

Your pulse pounds in your ears as you scan his face, searching for any sign of pain. His expression doesn’t change. His eyes remain closed, his body still. But the numbers on the monitor flicker with every beat of his heart, betraying what his body won’t show.

And then it hits you.

He feels it.

He’s not just lying there, unaware of the world around him. His body is reacting. It means he’s drifting, slipping from unconsciousness, slowly clawing his way back to waking.

Your chest tightens.

This is what you’ve been waiting for. What you should want.

You should be relieved.

But you’re not.

Because for all the times you’ve wished he’d open his eyes, you never stopped to think about what it would mean when he finally did.

What if the first thing he sees is you?

What if he looks at you and all you find in his face is resentment?

What if he asks why you’re here? Why you even bothered?

Your breath catches in your throat, torn between anticipation and fear. Your fingers curl into your palms, gloves crinkling under the pressure. You wait, holding yourself still, eyes locked on his face, waiting for the inevitable flutter of his eyelids, the slow, unfocused squint as he adjusts to the light.

But it never comes.

His breathing stays even, his lashes unmoving, his expression unchanging. His body is stirring, but his mind isn’t ready yet.

Your hands feel cold.

You force yourself to take a step back, creating distance—just in case. You reach for the tablet to record the change in his vitals, trying to make sense of what just happened, of what almost happened.

You practically jump out of your skin when a voice cuts through the hallway, sharp and frantic.

“¡Mija!”

Before you even see her, you feel her—Esperanza’s presence sweeping toward you like a storm, her heels clicking against the tile. The next thing you know, you’re wrapped in her arms, your face pressed against the soft fabric of her floral blouse, caught in a hug so tight it knocks the breath out of you.

“Mi amor, ¿cómo andas?” she asks, her voice thick with worry and affection.

You barely have a chance to respond, still stunned by the unexpected embrace. She smells the same—warm vanilla and roses, a scent so deeply tied to holiday dinners that it nearly knocks you off balance.

When she finally pulls back, she doesn’t let you go completely. Her hands clasp yours, fingers curling over your knuckles like she’s afraid to let you slip away again.

“Esperanza,” you manage, breathless.

Her eyes shine with unshed tears, her lips pulling into a grin so familiar it makes your chest ache.

“What are you doing here? Visitors can’t be here for another hour,” you point out, grasping for something—anything—to ground yourself.

She waves a dismissive hand, scoffing like the very idea is ridiculous. “Ay, enough with that,” she chides. “When has that ever stopped me?”

And then she stops. Really looks at you.

Her expression softens, and suddenly, you're under a gaze so warm it makes your throat tighten.

“Wow, look at you, my dear. Hermosa,” she murmurs, shaking her head like she can’t believe it’s really you standing in front of her.

You let out a small, breathy laugh, flustered. “I look like a mess,” you correct, glancing down at yourself. You’re in scrubs, nearing the end of a long shift, and you know you must look exhausted. Especially after dealing with Maria throwing up glowing vomit all over you earlier today. There’s no way you look anything close to hermosa.

But Esperanza just smiles knowingly, squeezing your hands once before tugging you toward the chairs lining the hallway. She sits down, keeping her grip on you like she’s afraid you might disappear through her fingers if she lets go.

You follow, hesitating only slightly before settling into the seat beside her.

"It’s been so long," she says, her brows furrowing with something between disappointment and relief. "You haven’t called in months. I thought you were sick! Do you hate me?"

"I could never hate you," you say quickly, shaking your head, a little horrified she would ever think that.

And then she smacks your arm.

"Then why haven’t you answered my calls?" she scolds, her voice laced with exasperation. "Your mother tells me you moved away and what? I don’t hear a word from you?"

You blink. Your mind stutters at the revelation.

"Wait—" you pause, trying to piece it together. "My mom… and you? You’ve been talking?"

Esperanza gives you a look, like it should be obvious. "Of course," she huffs. "What, you thought just because you and Quino broke up, I was going to stop talking to my comadre?" She rolls her eyes like the very idea is ridiculous. "Por favor."

Your mouth goes dry.

Your mother and Joaquin’s mother—keeping in touch this entire time. Behind your back. Talking about you, probably about him, too.

Your stomach churns, and suddenly, there’s something heavy pressing against your ribs.

You open your mouth, but she’s already shaking her head.

"Oh, lo sé," she sighs, exasperated. "The dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. If it were up to me, you two would’ve been married by now. Given me a grandchild, too."

Your laugh comes out a little too flustered, a little too forced. You glance around the hallway, avoiding her gaze, trying to ignore the way your heart wrings at the thought.

"Yeah," you mutter because you don’t know what else to say.

Esperanza exhales, her posture softening. She lets go of one of your hands just to reach up and brush your hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear with the same gentle touch Joaquín used to.

The same way he always did when you were talking too much, or overthinking, or when he just wanted an excuse to touch you.

You let out a long, quiet sigh, blinking hard against the sudden sting in your eyes.

It’s too much.

Too much familiarity, too much of your old life creeping back in all at once. You don’t think you’ve gotten enough sleep to process any of it properly.

"Mija," she murmurs, her voice softer now, more careful. "I don’t care whether you and Quino are together or not. I loved having you around. I still want to have our little chats. You are like one of my own. And when he told me you broke up, I just…" she shakes her head, pressing her lips together like she doesn’t want to say it. "I hate that it took him getting hurt for us to talk again."

"Esperanza…" you start, but she just shakes her head again.

"I know, I know. Perdóname," she says, waving it off as she stands up. She smooths down the front of her dress and sighs. "It’s so good to see you again, mi amor. You keep taking good care of my son. I’ll be in the city for another week, so please—call me. Maybe we can get coffee."

Before you can respond, she scans her visitor’s pass on the key panel and walks into Joaquín’s room, disappearing behind the door without another word.

But she leaves the question hanging in the air, thick with nostalgia and something painfully close to longing.

And she leaves the scent of rosy perfume lingering in her wake.

You stare at the closed door, your heart thudding unevenly in your chest.

You should go. You need to go—your tablet is already beeping, pulling you back to reality, reminding you that there are other patients who need you, that there’s a crisis waiting for you three flights down.

Still, you hesitate for just a second longer, swallowing hard against the lump in your throat before finally turning away.

There’s no time to process this right now.

But you have a feeling that, no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to shake this conversation anytime soon.

Maria’s hand grips the IV pole tightly, her small fingers curling around the metal as she rolls it beside her, careful not to let the wheels catch on the tile. The fluorescent hospital lights cast a soft glow over her—too pale against her skin, too sterile—but despite it all, she beams.

You’ve never seen someone so excited just to walk.

But today is special. It’s her birthday.

She didn’t ask for much—just this. A chance to stretch her legs, to be somewhere other than her hospital room. Her parents had begged you to keep her busy while they decorated, slipping streamers and balloons inside the room like they could somehow make up for lost time.

Maria hadn’t argued. She had just grinned up at you when you asked if she wanted to go outside.

Now, she’s practically glowing, her feet sinking into the grass as you lead her through the small hospital garden.

She tips her head back, eyes fluttering closed as the breeze ruffles her hospital gown, lifting strands of hair from her shoulders. Pink cherry blossoms sway on the branches above, petals drifting onto the ground like delicate confetti.

"Did you know cherry blossoms only bloom for a few weeks?" you tell her.

Maria gasps. "Really?"

"Yep. It’s called hanami in Japan. People go outside just to watch them bloom."

Her eyes widen in pure delight. "That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. They should be watched. They’re so pretty."

You smile. "Yeah, they are."

For a moment, she just stands there, soaking it in. And you let her.

It’s one of those rare times when she doesn’t look like a patient. No tubes, no machines, no sterile smell of antiseptic—just a kid. A kid enjoying the sun, the air, the simple beauty of something fleeting.

She sighs, finally pulling herself away. "Okay. I’m ready to go back in."

"Are you sure?"

She nods. "Yeah. I don’t wanna get in trouble for being outside too long. It’s my birthday, but I think Nurse Kate would still yell at me."

"Yeah, probably," you say with a chuckle.

The hospital halls are quieter than usual, the usual hum of voices and distant beeping fading into soft background noise. Maria walks beside you, still clinging to her IV pole but with a bit more confidence in her steps.

She doesn’t drag her feet anymore. That’s new.

Her body is stronger than it was weeks ago—no more trembling hands, no more laboured breathing after short walks. It’s a victory, even if it’s small.

Maria suddenly gasps, gripping your arm and her feet skid against the floor. You barely have time to react before she jerks to a halt, her entire body going rigid, eyes locked on something ahead.

Her mouth falls open.

"The Falcon?!"

Your stomach drops.

"Maria—"

"The Falcon is here?!"

Before you can stop her, she takes off, darting toward the digital display outside one of the hospital rooms. The screen flickers with patient information, vitals, and medication logs—

Torres, Joaquín

Maria’s hands slap over her mouth. "Oh my God."

"Maria," you warn, but she’s already clambering onto one of the chairs lined against the wall, pressing her face to the glass window beside the door.

"Oh my God! It's him! It's really him!" She whirls around, panic-stricken. "Is he dead?"

You lurch forward. "What? No." Your hands instinctively find her waist, steadying her before she tips over. "He’s just sleeping."

"Can I go say hi?"

"No."

"It’s my birthday."

"Maria—"

"Please!"

You close your eyes, inhaling slowly.

This was not in your job description.

You glance at the window, frowning. You weren't supposed to let anyone into a patient’s room unless they were authorized. Especially not another patient. There were rules. Strict ones. The last thing you needed was for someone to get sick, for someone to get hurt, for someone to wake Joaquín up before he was ready—

But then you look at Maria.

She’s practically vibrating with excitement, hands clasped tightly like she’s holding back from bouncing on her toes—the youngest patient in the entire building. Wide-eyed and full of wonder, she’s looking at Joaquín because he’s a real-life superhero, someone she’s only ever seen in headlines and shaky phone recordings.

And Joaquín… Joaquín loves kids.

He always has.

You’ve seen it firsthand—the way he kneels when he talks to them, the way his face lights up whenever he makes one laugh, the way he always offers high-fives like it’s second nature. Even now, even unconscious, the thought of him being the reason behind Maria’s uncontainable joy tugs at something deep in your chest.

It feels like something he would want.

And maybe… maybe this is okay. Maybe this is good—a reminder that people out there care about him, even the ones who have never met him.

Still, you hesitate.

You’re comfortable taking care of him now.

Or at least, that’s what you tell yourself.

No more denial. No more excuses. No more pretending that seeing him like this—unmoving, caught somewhere between here and wherever his mind has drifted—doesn’t scare the hell out of you. You’ve accepted that you miss him, that you still... care for him, even after everything. But stepping into that room again—with Maria, of all people—feels like a step toward something you’re not sure you’re ready to face.

Because Joaquín is here. So close. Close enough to reach out and touch, to whisper his name and wait for that slow, teasing smile to appear—the one he always gave you when you were being too serious. Close enough that you should feel relieved.

But he’s also impossibly far.

No teasing smiles. No dumb jokes. No knowing looks from across the room. Not even anger of having you near. Just silence. Just the faint rise and fall of his chest, the machines working to keep him stable.

For days, you’ve watched him. Sat beside him. Checked his vitals. Changed his bandages. Waited.

But then Maria looks up at you, eyes round and pleading.

"Okay," you exhale, already regretting it. "But you have to be really quiet so he doesn’t wake up, okay?"

She nods, lowering her voice, "Okay."

Maria is practically bouncing with excitement as you swipe your keycard and push open the door. Sunlight spills in through the half-drawn blinds, cutting warm streaks across the floor, across Joaquín’s blankets, across his still form. The midday hum of the hospital filters in from the hallway, muffled but present. The steady beeping of the monitors tracks his heart rate, a slow, even rhythm, while the IV beside him feeds a clear solution into his veins.

Maria tiptoes inside like she’s afraid of disturbing something sacred.

You don’t blame her.

Because up close, he looks even more unreachable. The bruises along his temple have faded from deep purple to a softer yellow-red, but the cuts on his face are healing. His lips are chapped. His hair is messy against the pillow, a sharp contrast to how put-together you remember him.

You move—more out of instinct than anything—because lingering in the doorway makes it worse. The small cart beside his bed is stocked with fresh bandages, antiseptic, gauze—everything you’ve used to help keep his wounds clean these past few weeks. Without thinking, you pick up his chart because you've forgotten your tablet, scanning the latest notes, his most recent vitals. Stable. No new concerns. No change.

Maria whispers something, but you don’t catch it.

You blink, glancing at her. "What?"

She’s staring at Joaquín, her small hands gripping the edge of his blanket like she’s afraid to touch him, but wants to.

“He’s even prettier up close,” she breathes.

Despite yourself, you smile. "Yeah? You think so?"

She nods seriously.

There’s something achingly familiar about the way she looks at him—like she’s trying to memorize him, like she’s afraid he might disappear if she blinks.

You know that feeling.

Because you’ve caught yourself staring at him the exact same way.

Like if you look long enough, you might commit him to memory all over again. Like you can make up for the lost time, for the time that has slipped through your fingers. You study him—not just the broad strokes of him, not just the familiarity of his face, but every little thing you’d forgotten during your time apart, the things that had slipped from your mind.

There is a faint stubble that’s started to grow along his jaw. And now you notice little moles dotting his skin, scattered in ways you don’t recognize from your memories or dreams of him—they were always focused on the bigger picture, the way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way he loved you.

Now, it’s the details that root you to the present.

The soft rise and fall of his chest beneath the hospital blanket. The steady hum of the monitors. The warmth of his skin when you reach out, pressing two fingers to his wrist, feeling the familiar, comforting rhythm of his pulse beneath your touch.

You check his vitals—his heart rate is stable, his oxygen levels are good, and his IV fluids are running properly.

Maria exhales softly, still watching him, her voice quiet as a breath.

"I think he’s gonna be okay."

You let out a slow, measured breath, your thumb grazing over the back of Joaquín’s hand—just for a second, just enough to feel the warmth of him.

"Yeah," you whisper. "Me too."

It’s enough. For now.

Your fingers slip away from his, the warmth vanishing almost instantly, and you start to usher Maria back toward the door. But as you move, something shifts—so small, so quick, you almost think you imagined it.

Joaquín’s fingers twitch at his side, just as yours leave his.

Your heart stutters.

A rush of warmth blooms in your chest, something fragile and desperate, something that wants to hope, to believe that it means something. That he felt it.

Swallowing, you make a quick note on his chart, recording the small movement even though it could be nothing.

Even though it could be everything.

You exhale, trying to ground yourself, trying to shake off the way your heart is pounding now, loud and heavy in your ears. You don’t even realize you’re holding your breath until Maria tugs at your sleeve, glancing up at you, her own expression somewhere between curiosity and uncertainty.

You force yourself to move. To turn away. To guide her toward the door, because whatever flicker of hope just sparked inside you is too fragile to hold.

But then—

A sound.

Low. Faint. Hoarse from weeks of silence.

Your name.

Spoken.

Maria gasps softly.

And you—you freeze.

The breath leaves your lungs in a sharp, startled exhale, and your fingers go rigid against the door handle. A slow, involuntary shiver runs down your spine, your pulse hammering against your ribs.

Did you imagine it?

You must have.

But then you feel it—Maria’s small fingers wrapping tightly around your hand, clutching at you with quiet urgency.

Because she heard it too.

Your name. A whisper, raw and barely there, but there.

And it came from him.

Joaquín.

The hospital room feels smaller now, charged with something delicate and terrifying all at once. The air thickens, pressing against your chest as you slowly—slowly—turn around, terrified that if you look, it’ll be gone.

That it was just a trick of your desperate mind.

But it’s not.

Because Joaquín’s fingers twitch again.

His brow furrows, lips parting slightly, throat working as he struggles to form a sound, his voice raw and unfamiliar after so many days of silence.

Maria gasps, gripping your sleeve, her excitement barely contained, but you don’t register it.

Because Joaquín’s eyes are fluttering open.

For a moment, he stares blankly at the ceiling, his chest rising in a shallow, uneven breath. His body remains rigid, like his muscles haven’t caught up with the fact that he’s conscious. There’s no immediate recognition in his gaze—just a hazy sort of confusion, as if he’s somewhere else entirely.

Then, he moves.

His fingers twitch against the sheets, then curl. His breath hitches. The faint beeping of the heart monitor quickens. His body tenses, his shoulders pulling in as if bracing for impact.

His gaze shifts—and lands on you.

The second your face comes into focus, his entire body jerks.

A sharp, ragged inhale drags through his chest. His pupils constrict. His hand flinches at his side, like he wants to reach for something—like he’s searching for something solid.

His breathing changes. It’s not just uneven anymore—it’s too fast, too shallow. The rise and fall of his chest is quick, erratic, his ribs barely expanding with each breath.

Then, a whisper, barely a breath—words spilling from his lips before he even realizes he’s speaking.

"Me morí."

The words repeat, over and over, almost like a prayer.

"Me morí. Me morí. Me morí."

His voice trembles. His fingers fist the blanket. Tears well in his eyes and slip down his temples, silent, unchecked.

Your heart lurches.

You move instinctively, stepping closer, hands steady even as your pulse pounds in your ears.

"Hey, hey," you soothe, voice low and careful, placing a gentle hand on his good shoulder. "It’s okay. You’re safe."

Joaquín flinches at the touch, his muscles twitching beneath your fingers. His head turns slightly, his gaze darting, frantic, searching—taking in the room, the medical equipment, the IV in his arm. You can tell his body wants to move, to fight, to run, military instincts kicking in. But he’s still weak, his limbs heavy, uncooperative.

His pulse pounds beneath your fingertips. Too fast. His whole body is reacting before his mind can catch up.

"Joaquín." You keep your voice steady, careful, like speaking too loudly might shatter him completely. "Can you hear me?"

His gaze snaps back to you.

Something flickers in his expression. Recognition.

His chest is still rising and falling too quickly, his hands still tremble against the sheets, but his shoulders drop just barely. Some of the tension bleeds away.

His lips part, but no sound comes out at first. His throat works through the effort.

Then, at last, a hoarse, broken whisper.

"Hi."

Your breath catches.

Your fingers twitch against his shoulder, the warmth of his skin grounding you as much as you hope you’re grounding him. You press your palm there just a little longer, just to reassure yourself he’s real, that he’s awake.

"Hi," you whisper back.

His lashes flutter as he blinks at you, slow and deliberate, his eyes still wet with tears. Still searching. His gaze drifts over your face like he’s trying to map every detail back into his memory.

Like he’s afraid you might disappear.

"Hi," he says again, quieter this time.

Your chest tightens, a lump forming in your throat.

"Hi, Joaquín."

A slow, trembling exhale leaves his lips. His body sags into the pillow, exhaustion catching up to him all at once. His fingers unclench from the blanket, the tension in his muscles fading—but not entirely.

Because when you start to let go, when your fingers begin to lift from his shoulder, he twitches beneath your touch.

The hesitation is so subtle that you almost miss it—almost.

A flicker of something crosses his face, something unspoken, something aching. You worry he's hurting.

It reminds you of another time, a different moment in a different place. Years ago, Joaquín slouched in the passenger seat of your car, showing you his newly earned stitches after getting beat up by a Flag-Smasher, laughing through the pain while you frowned.

"You gotta stop scaring me like this."

"I’m trying, I swear."

You remember the way his eyes had softened in the dim streetlight, the way he had looked at you then. The way he kissed you to take your mind off of his pain—how neither of you had wanted to let go.

And now—now, as your fingers hover over his shoulder, as he doesn’t look away—it feels exactly the same.

Only this time he can't kiss you.

Only this time you can't wipe his tears away.

You force yourself to pull back, to let your fingers drift away, even as your hand aches to stay.

Joaquín swallows hard, blinking sluggishly as his gaze flickers to the IV in his arm, the monitors beside him, then back to you. His lips press together briefly as if he’s gathering himself before a rough, scratchy mutter escapes him.

"Ah, shit. I screwed up so bad."

The sound of his voice—dry, raspy, but carrying the faintest hint of that familiar humour—makes something in your chest crack wide open.

A breathy, wet laugh slips from your lips before you can stop it, and you quickly swipe at your eyes, shaking your head.

"I'm... I'm gonna go call a doctor, alright?"

Joaquín doesn’t say anything. He just watches you.

There’s something in his gaze—something unreadable, something too much. It makes your pulse stutter, makes your breath feel too shallow in your lungs.

You don’t give yourself time to process it.

Instead, you turn, pressing the call button for the doctor. "Come, Maria," you say, voice quieter than before.

Maria, who's gone strangely silent since Joaquín woke up, rushes to your side without hesitation. But she does nearly break her neck to keep looking back at him until you pull the door shut, sealing that moment away.

You exhale, resting your back against the wall for half a second longer than necessary before forcing yourself to move.

The doctor arrives quickly. You straighten up, rattling off Joaquín’s vitals, every detail you can remember—his initial reaction, his moment of panic, his response to stimuli, everything. The words come automatically, like muscle memory, like routine. You focus on that, on the familiar rhythm of procedure, handing off the responsibility to the doctor so she can begin running tests, checking his neurological responses, assessing how much damage—if any—his body has endured after so many days in forced stillness.

The weight of your exhaustion presses heavier against your shoulders as you upload his files to the system, sending them over before turning your attention back to Maria.

"You did good, Maria," you tell her softly as you lead her back to her room.

She just nods, but there’s something distant in her expression now.

You get it.

She’s just witnessed the moment. The one where everything changes.

It’s the moment where the panic stops being panic and turns into something else—something messier, something heavier.

It’s the moment where the question “what if he never wakes up?” turns into something just as terrifying:

“He’s awake. Now what?”

Her parents are waiting when you bring her back, and you don’t stay. You let them have that moment for her birthday, closing the door gently behind you before turning back into the hallway.

And then you’re alone.

For the first time in hours, in days, you’re alone with nothing to distract you.

Your hands are shaking. You hadn’t even noticed at first, but now you can’t not notice—the tremor in your fingers, the way your pulse hammers too fast against your ribs, the way your body suddenly doesn’t know what to do with itself now that you’re not running on pure adrenaline.

You sink into one of the chairs outside Joaquín’s room, bracing your elbows on your knees. The motion feels stiff, foreign—like your body isn’t quite yours anymore.

Your eyes sting.

Joaquín is awake. He’s awake.

He spoke. He looked at you. He recognized you. He remembered you.

You should feel relief. You should feel something good.

And yet.

It’s like coming up for air after being stuck underwater too long—except just as you’re about to take a full breath, it’s ripped away again.

Because now that he’s awake… he can speak to you.

He can react to what you say, to what you do.

Maybe he’ll ask for a different nurse. Maybe he’ll ask to be transferred to another hospital back in Miami or something. Maybe, when his voice isn’t so raw and broken, he’ll tell you exactly what he thinks about the fact that you were the one sitting by his bedside all this time.

And God, you don’t know if you can handle that.

You drag your hands down your face, pushing out a breath. You don’t have time for this.

The sound of hurried footsteps in the hallway reminds you that Sam—or Joaquín’s mother—is bound to show up any minute now. The news will spread fast, and soon, his room will be filled with people who have been waiting for this moment, praying for this moment.

Shit.

You squeeze your eyes shut for a second before forcing yourself up. You should be in the room right now with the doctor, checking over Joaquín’s vitals, taking actual notes instead of spiraling in the hallway. Get your shit together and do your job.

Your movements feel sluggish as you reach for your tablet, swiping your ID card at the door. The scanner beeps, and for a split second, you hesitate—your fingers still lingering on the door handle, your chest tight.

Then you force yourself to step inside.

The room is brighter now, bathed in soft afternoon light filtering through the window. Dust motes drift lazily in the warm glow, a stark contrast to the sterile white walls and the quiet hum of machines. The steady rhythm of the heart monitor is too steady, too real.

The doctor is already mid-assessment, having raised Joaquín’s bed into a slightly upright position as she runs through a neurological check-up.

Joaquín is watching you.

His dark eyes flicker to you the second you enter, and you feel it in your chest, hot and unrelenting.

You swallow hard, gripping your tablet like it’s a lifeline, and take your place near the doctor, prepared to focus on numbers and stats and anything else except the weight of that stare.

You wonder if you’ll get kicked out for distracting him.

"Oh, great, you’re back," the doctor says, breaking through the static in your brain. "Do you mind grabbing some water for Captain Torres? I’m just about done here. Everything looks good and healthy. He’s recovering well."

You nod, already moving before your thoughts can catch up. Autopilot. It’s the only thing keeping you grounded at this point.

Still, you feel it.

The way Joaquín’s gaze follows every single one of your movements, tracking you like you might disappear if he looks away.

You crouch, retrieving a bottle from the mini fridge, fingers twisting at the cap before stepping back toward the bed. That’s when it hits you—he can’t take it. His muscles are still sluggish, his coordination not quite there yet.

You pour some into a paper cup instead, stepping closer when the doctor gives a nod of approval. Joaquín doesn’t say anything.

The tremor in your hands is almost imperceptible, but you feel it when you lift the cup to his lips. The moment your fingers brush his skin, a muscle in his jaw tenses.

His heart monitor beside the bed jumps.

Your eyes snap to the screen, but the doctor catches it first.

"Interesting," she hums, her tone just teasing enough to send heat creeping up your neck. But she lets it go.

"So, Joaquín," she continues, "We’re gonna have to do some blood work tomorrow, just to make sure everything is alright internally. We’ll up your dose of painkillers now that you’re awake."

"Awesome," he mutters, voice scratchy but laced with dry sarcasm.

She smiles. "They’ll make you a little drowsy, which is normal, but we’ll need you to try and stay awake until sunset. Just to make sure you’re not slipping in and out of consciousness. But I doubt it."

Then she turns to you.

"I’ll let Amanda know he’s awake. But you did a good job—woke up sooner than we expected."

You blink, caught off guard by the compliment.

"Thanks."

"I’ll come back later for a check-up."

And then she leaves.

The door clicks shut, and there is a silence that follows.

You stand there, hands gripping the tablet against your chest, unsure of what to do. Well, you know what to do—your duty is clear. You should be checking his vitals, updating his chart, making sure he’s comfortable.

But that’s not what’s stopping you.

It’s him.

Awake. Looking at you.

Joaquín Torres, alive and conscious and blinking at you like he’s still trying to convince himself this isn’t just another fever dream.

His voice comes quiet, hoarse, a low grumble you barely hear over the rhythmic beeping of his heart monitor.

"You took care of me?"

Your breath catches.

It’s a simple question, but it knocks something loose in your chest. Because it’s him asking. Because he’s here to ask it.

You swallow, shifting on your feet. Your gaze flickers over him—not just the wounds, but all of him. The way the sunlight filters in through the window, warming the stark white of the sheets, reflecting in the deep brown of his eyes. He looks more alive now, and maybe it’s the light or the steady rise and fall of his chest, but for the first time in weeks, you allow yourself to believe it.

He’s here.

Breathing. Talking. Alive.

And yet—his dead face still haunts you.

The memory lingers in the corners of your mind, just out of reach but never truly gone. His stillness, the unnatural slack of his features, the too-loud silence of a body that had once been so full of energy, of life. The image is burned into your brain, playing over and over again like a cruel loop. The moment you thought you lost him.

The tears in his mother’s face.

The look of dread on Sam.

The guilt.

"Uh, yeah. I did."

Your voice is barely above a whisper.

Joaquín exhales, long and slow, as if processing your words. Then, he tries to smile.

It’s small, faint and unsteady like he isn’t quite sure how to do it yet. The corners of his lips curve, but there’s a hesitation in the movement, like his face isn’t used to the motion after so long.

Still, he tries.

And when his eyes meet yours again, your stomach twists, sinking deep like an anchor dropping into dark water.

"I… I know it’s just your job, but—" His voice falters, but his gaze doesn’t. "Thank you."

Right. Your job.

The words settle into your chest like a weight—familiar, suffocating.

Because you remember the last time he said that to you.

Your last fight.

Well—it wasn’t really a fight, was it?

Not the kind with screaming and shattered glass, not the kind where anger built up and spilled over, reckless and sharp. It was quieter than that. Heavier. Because in the end, it wasn’t about anger.

It was about exhaustion. About wanting so badly to hold on to each other but realizing, little by little, that neither of you had hands free to do it.

You had barely been sleeping.

Between overnight shifts at the hospital, classes, training, and trying to be the best nurse you could be, your time wasn’t your own. It belonged to the people who needed you—the patients, the emergencies, the long nights where your body ached and your mind ran on fumes.

And Joaquín?

He had thrown himself into working with Sam, into proving himself, into becoming something bigger. His missions got longer. The risks got greater. He was gone more often than he was home, and when he was home, he was bruised, exhausted, a shadow of himself trying to piece together the scraps of a normal life between deployments.

You tried to make it work. God, you tried.

You spent so much time missing each other—passing like ships in the night, phone calls that never lasted long enough, conversations cut short by a code blue or a mission call.

At first, you thought it was temporary. That one day, things would slow down. That eventually, you’d find a rhythm that let you breathe with each other again.

But that day never came.

Instead, the gaps between you grew wider.

The distance stretched, and stretched, and stretched—until one night, you were sitting across from each other, and you both knew.

"I can't do this anymore, Joaquín."

You had whispered it.

Not because you didn’t mean it, but because saying it any louder might have broken you.

He had looked at you, like he was waiting for you to take it back.

Like if he just held on long enough, you’d change your mind.

"I know... You know, I love you," he had said, low, firm, desperate.

And that had been the worst part.

Because love wasn’t the problem.

It had never been the problem.

It was everything else.

Your job. His job.

The nights spent apart, the exhaustion, the never-ending fear of opening your front door to a folded American Flag. You couldn’t stand watching him bleed.

And he couldn’t stand knowing that one day, you might not be there to stitch him back up. That was the last time he said it. "But it’s my job."

Like that was supposed to make it better.

But now, you’re standing in his hospital room, staring at proof that it never got better. Because you had left to protect yourself from seeing him hurt. And now you had seen him dead.

"Of course," you manage to say, wincing when you hear your voice break.

Joaquín hums softly, but his eyes don’t leave you. He’s looking for something in your face—like he’s searching through memories neither of you have spoken aloud in years.

But then, his gaze flickers away. Over to the table. To the mess of flowers stacked in unsteady vases, their petals bright in the afternoon sunlight. The kind of display that only happens when someone is lucky enough to wake up.

His brow creases. "How bad was it?"

You swallow, feeling something sharp lodge itself in your throat. "You were shot out of the sky by a missile."

His lips part. "Right."

"It was pretty fucking bad."

A beat.

"Right."

You don’t know what you were expecting. Some kind of reaction, some flicker of acknowledgment for the hell he’s put you through. But instead, he just takes it—like it’s another report, another piece of intel.

You hesitate, something bubbling up inside you. You can’t tell if it’s anger or sorrow. "You died."

The words hit the air, heavier than you expected.

Joaquín blinks, his breath hitching almost imperceptibly. His fingers twitch against the blanket.

"I died?"

You nod, biting your cheek so hard you taste iron.

"Yeah," you force out. Your throat tightens. Don’t cry. Not in front of him. Not again. "Two minutes."

He’s staring at you now. Eyes wide. Disbelief creeps into the edges of his expression, but not enough—not enough for someone who actually understands what that means.

What it means to you.

"Oh."

You scoff. "Yeah. Oh."

Your laugh is brittle. Sharp around the edges. Because what else is there to say? Joaquín dies for two minutes, and you’ve spent days living inside them.

He exhales, dragging a hand down his face.

"God," he mutters. "Sam’s gonna be so mad at me."

You don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Because this wasn’t how you imagined seeing him again.

In your head, there were a million other ways this could have gone—maybe you’d run into each other in the future when you were older. When things had settled. When you’d moved on.

Maybe you’d both be married to other people.

The thought makes you sick. But this? This is so much worse.

"Do you, um, do you need anything else? Are you hungry?"

"No."

You nod, but you don’t believe him. Patients are usually peckish when they wake up—a sign of life returning to their bodies, a reassurance that things are moving forward. And while he’s not allowed solid foods for another twenty-four hours, you could bring him a smoothie, something light.

But if he really wants something, he can call you.

You tell yourself that as you turn toward the door.

"Can you stay?"

You linger because you didn’t expect it.

Because you kind of hoped he would ask.

Because he didn’t ask you to stay last time.

Your fingers twitch at your sides, gripping your tablet a little tighter, as if the tension in your body could be contained in that single movement.

"Yeah," you say softly. "I can stay."

You turn back to him, and Joaquín is already looking at you.

His eyes are pleading.

It takes everything in you not to break right there. To not spill over.

You force yourself to move, careful, measured steps toward the chair beside his bed. It feels like you’re wading through something thick, something unseen, like grief or memory or all the what-ifs you’ve tried to bury.

You sink into the chair slowly.

A strand of hair falls into Joaquín’s face as he leans back against the pillows, the bruising on his cheekbone catching the light just enough for you to hate it.

Your fingers twitch again. The urge to brush it back is unbearable. But you don't.

He exhales.

"When was the last time you slept?" he asks suddenly.

You blink, caught off guard.

"Last night." you answer, almost automatically.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Not really."

A beat.

"Nightmares?"

"Something like that."

"Something on your mind?"

"Lots on my mind."

The words slip out easily, like an old habit. No walls. No defences. It’s like no time has passed at all, like the space between you hasn’t been filled with anger, regret, and time apart. Just raw, open honesty in the quiet of the room.

The weight that’s been crushing you for days feels a little lighter in the space between his questions and your answers. You exhale, and only then do you realize you’re holding back tears.

You wipe at your face absently, surprised to find wetness there. You hadn’t even known you were crying.

Joaquín shifts in the bed, his gaze sharpening. There’s concern in his eyes, guilt, and maybe something else—something deeper. He looks away, clearing his throat, as if trying to fight it.

"I hope it's not me you're worried about,"

"I'm always worried about you."

You glance away from him, pretending it’s nothing, but the words hang between you both, too heavy to ignore.

His breath catches, something in him faltering, and then you catch the slight, almost imperceptible way his fingers curl into the sheets. His ears are pink, the flush spreading down his neck. He’s always been terrible at hiding how he feels, and you’re helpless against it. You always have been.

You can’t look at him. You don’t want to admit how much you’ve missed him. How much you’ve been carrying around since the breakup. How much he’s haunted every quiet moment since you walked away.

"Joaquín," you start, tugging at the ring finger on your left hand, the absence of his name there like a wound you forgot was still open. "When they brought you in here—"

"I miss you."

Your chest tightens. "Joaquín—"

"It's true, I do." His voice is quiet, almost vulnerable. "I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you again, and I just…" His gaze drifts from yours, like he’s struggling to put it all together. "I couldn't get it out."

You swallow hard, feeling that familiar ache well up in you. “I miss you too. It’s been... it’s been really hard.”

"Yeah." He nods slowly, his voice softer now. "It has. But, you know, I’m the Falcon now. Can you believe that?" He chuckles, but it’s almost nervous, as if he’s trying to lighten the mood, trying to make you smile. "I work with Captain America. I’ve got big shoes to fill. I’ve got to show up, but this... this is all I’ve ever wanted, since I was a kid. I’ve got it now. But... there’s something missing."

You look at him, really look at him, seeing the difference in his eyes now—less brash, more tired but still so much the same. "Yeah. Yeah, I feel it too. It’s like a nagging feeling, right? No matter what we do, it’s there."

"Make me feel guilty." His lips curve into a faint smile, but it’s tired.

"Like I wanna vomit," you reply dryly, the familiar banter slipping back into place before you can stop it.

Joaquín’s eyes soften as he lets out a breath, and there’s an edge of regret in the way he says, “I’m sorry I left.”

Your heart aches at the words, and you feel the old wounds crack open. "I’m sorry I made you leave." You’re not sure whether you’re trying to make him feel better or punish him with your own guilt. Either way, it burns.

“No,” he says quickly, “It doesn’t work that way.”

"But it does," you insist, your voice soft but firm.

He presses his lips together, brow furrowed, as if trying to work through what you’ve just said. "I should’ve fought harder," he murmurs, voice cracking just slightly.

"Joaquín... c’mon. Let’s talk about this later, okay? You just woke up from a coma. I can’t be putting this much stress on your mind."

"But I wanna talk about it," he presses, desperate.

“I know, I do too,” you admit,

“Then let’s talk about it,” he says, leaning forward just a little.

"Rest first." You place a hand on his shoulder gently, urging him to lay back. “You’ve been through a lot. I can’t let you burn yourself out again.”

“I’ve been resting. Had the best nurse in the world take care of me,” he teases, trying to distract you with a smile.

You feel the tug in your chest at his words. "And I will still take care of you. But you need rest. We can talk about it tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow," you confirm, trying to smile, to soothe the tension you’ve both built up.

"Will you still be here?"

You glance down at him, a familiar warmth flooding your chest at the sight of him so vulnerable, so human. "I’m not going anywhere. Will you still be here?"

His smile softens, a quiet promise in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

#listen to blood orange while reading 🫶🏽#they make out and fuck after this i promise #faye’s writing ⭑.ᐟ #joaquín torres #joaquín torres x reader #joaquin torres #joaquin torres x reader #joaquin torres x you #joaquin torres imagine #joaquin torres fluff #joaquin torres fic #joaquin torres fanfiction #the falcon #the falcon x reader #joaquín torres smut #joaquin torres smut #joaquín’s wings

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thatdammchickennugget · 27 days ago

Text

Boyfriend Services

pairing - remus lupin x fem!reader

summary - remus is not your boyfriend, but he sure acts like he is

warnings - fluff, lots of teasing, slightly suggestive at the end I guess, oblivious remus and reader, drinking, sirius has a little splinter, reader has hair long enough for a ponytail and it's mentioned she's wearing a skirt once

a/n - have been spending my breaks at work writing this and now that it's finished I need something new to work on, oh noo

wordcount - 5.8k

Remus had been on the same page of his book for the last fifteen minutes, staring at the words but not actually reading them. Across from him, Sirius was slouched in an armchair, flipping absently through a magazine, and James lay sprawled out on the rug, tossing a rubber ball into the air, catching it without looking.

It was a rare, quiet night, the kind that didn’t happen often anymore. Just the three of them, hanging out and each doing their own thing, and Remus thought, rather optimistically, that maybe he’d actually be able to finish his book.

Then his phone buzzed against the armrest.

He sighed before even looking at the screen, already knowing what it was about.

‘Can you come get us? We’re a little drunk. Actually, we’re a lot drunk.’

A second later, another message popped up.

‘Lily says hi. Mary is singing. Marlene is threatening to fight a bouncer for funsies.’

Remus scrubbed a hand down his face. “I have to go pick up the girls,” he announced, already reaching for his jacket.

James and Sirius exchanged looks, their smirks identical.

“Ah, yes,” Sirius drawled, tossing his magazine aside. “The ever-dedicated boyfriend service strikes again.”

“Not her boyfriend,” Remus muttered, shoving his arms into his jacket.

“Yeah, yeah, tell that to literally anyone else,” James said, pushing himself up onto his elbows. “So, remind me—who always goes to pick her up when she’s drunk?”

“That’s just being a good friend,” Remus countered, shoving his feet into his trainers.

“Oh, absolutely,” Sirius said. “And who, without fail, delivers her coffee every morning like a personal barista?”

Remus sighed. “She’s incapable of making coffee without nearly setting something on fire.”

James grinned, stretching like a cat. “Right. And who, without hesitation, gives up his hoodie the second she even looks like she might be cold?”

“That’s—” Remus paused, narrowing his eyes. “That’s what friends do.”

“Sure,” Sirius said, nodding sagely. “And I suppose all of this is entirely platonic? Completely devoid of any feelings whatsoever?”

Remus grabbed his keys. “That’s exactly right.”

James sat up properly, grinning in that insufferable way he did when he knew he was right about something. “Mate, if you were any further in denial, you’d be living in Egypt.”

Sirius gasped dramatically. “Prongs, that was actually a good one. I’m proud.”

“Thank you, thank you,” James said, bowing from his position on the floor.

Remus rolled his eyes, flipping them both off as he headed for the door. “Mock all you want, but I’d rather she get home safe than let her stumble into some dodgy cab with a questionable driver.”

James clutched his chest. “He’s so noble.”

Sirius sniffled. “It’s beautiful, really.”

Remus slammed the door behind him.

Sirius turned to James. “He’s in love with her.”

James nodded. “Hopelessly.”

Sirius stretched, settling back in his chair. “D’you reckon he’ll figure it out before she does?”

James snorted. “Not a chance.”

.・。.・゜✭・.

The pub was packed, bodies spilling out onto the pavement, the sound of laughter and bad karaoke carrying over the buzz of traffic. Remus parked as close as he could without the risk of getting towed and sighed, already bracing himself for whatever chaos awaited him inside.

Finding them wasn’t hard.

Marlene was standing on top of a booth, arms spread like she was about to deliver a sermon, while Lily and Mary cheered her on. You sat curled up in the corner of the booth, head resting against Lily’s shoulder, scrolling absentmindedly on your phone.

You looked up at him as he apprached and grinned. “Oh, our knight in shining armour has arrived.”

Marlene gasped, almost toppling from the booth. “A knight! Have you come to sweep me off my feet, good sir?”

Remus sighed. “I have come to take you all home before you get banned from yet another pub.”

Mary scoffed, throwing an arm around Marlene’s legs to keep her steady. “First of all, that bouncer deserved to be told off. Second, we weren’t banned, we just aren’t welcome back for a while.”

“Tomato, tomahto,” Lily muttered, rubbing at her temples.

Remus rubbed a hand down his face. “Alright, everyone up. Let’s go.”

It took ten more minutes, one near fistfight (Marlene again), and a lot of herding, but eventually, everyone was packed into his car.

And then the real trouble started.

Marlene took it upon herself to be the DJ, insisting on playing the most dramatic breakup songs she could find, which led to Lily passionately singing along despite not being in any kind of breakup.

Mary, sitting in the front seat, took it upon herself to be the in-car commentator.

“She’s feeling this one, Remus. Look at her. That’s a woman in pain.”

“I’M IN LOVE WITH YOUUUUU,” Lily belted, clutching your arm like she was singing to her lost love.

Remus sighed. “Lily, you’ve been dating James for three years.”

“She’s just being supportive,” you giggled, head lolling against the window.

Mary sighed wistfully. “Women supporting women.”

Lily turned to Marlene and pointed. “Play Driver’s License next.”

“No,” Remus said immediately.

You laughed, head tipping back against the seat. “You’re such a buzzkill, Moony.”

“Yeah?” Remus glanced at you in the rearview mirror. “And yet I’m still the one you lot call when you need a ride home. You know, Lily could ask James once in a while.”

“We’d be safer driving drunk than with James behind the wheel. Also, we love you,” Marlene declared, dramatically reaching forward to pat his head, missing entirely and smacking the side of his face instead.

“Brilliant. Thank you for that.”

Marlene just grinned, utterly unrepentant.

One by one, he dropped them off. Marlene first, then Mary, then Lily, who made him promise to tell James she loved him before dramatically throwing herself out of the car.

Finally, it was just him and you.

The silence, after all the chaos and the near accident that was you climbing over the console and into the passenger seat, was almost jarring.

He glanced at you as he pulled onto your street. You were watching the streetlights blur past, face lit up soft and golden, that faraway look in your eyes that told him you weren’t ready for the night to be over yet.

Turning to him, your lips slightly parted as if you were debating saying something.

Finally, you sighed. “I don’t really feel like being alone yet. Or going to bed.”

Remus didn’t even hesitate. Without a word, he turned the wheel and made a left instead of a right, turning back onto the main street to drive to his own flat.

“Little warning, Sirius and James are there,” he said.

You grinned. “You don’t think they’ll be mad about you bringing home a stray?”

“First of all, you’re hardly a stray,” he said dryly. “Second, if you bring food, they won’t care.”

Gasping dramatically, you leaned over to him. “Remus John Lupin, are you suggesting we stop for snacks?”

“I’m suggesting you stop for snacks, since you’re the one who always convinces me to do this.”

You beamed, triumphant. “McDonald’s.”

“You just at least a bottle of wine and probably a lot of questionable cocktails, and you want chicken nuggets?”

A offended hand found it’s place over your heart. “Do not speak ill of the nugget.”

Remus huffed a laugh. “Fine. Nuggets it is.”

He pulled into the drive-thru, you practically bouncing in your seat as you rolled the window down before he even stopped.

“Hi! Can we please get a twenty-piece nugget?”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Just twenty?”

You turned, eyes wide with betrayal. “I don’t need your judgement right now, Remus.”

He snorted. “Make it forty,” he told the drive-thru speaker.

The poor teenager working the late-night shift barely sounded fazed. “Sauce?”

“All of them,” you declared. “And also add two large fries, please.”

By the time you pulled up to his flat, you had already broken into the bag, happily munching away on soggy french-fries.

Sirius and James were waiting when you walked in, both looking up from the couch with matching grins.

“You brought food,” James said, delighted.

Sirius held out his hands. “Come to me, my sweet, greasy love.”

You smirked, holding the bag just out of reach. “Hmm. I don’t know. Remus drove. Maybe he should get first pick.”

Sirius turned on Remus immediately. “I always knew you were her favourite.”

Remus sighed. “It’s too late for this.”

“Wrong,” Sirius said, digging into the bag. “It’s the perfect time for this.”

Curling up on the couch next to Remus, you cradled a nugget in one hand, the other wrapped around his arm as you settled in.

And honestly? He didn’t mind.

.・。.・゜✭・.

Sirius and James left sometime around three in the morning, after Sirius nearly fell asleep mid-sentence and James started talking about how he could "definitely beat a bear in a fight" if he "had a solid plan and at least three days of preparation." Remus shoved them both toward the door with a tired sigh, making sure James had his shoes on the right feet and that Sirius actually took his keys with him.

Now, it was just the two of you.

You were slumped on the couch, a half-eaten nugget still clutched in your hand, your head lolling against the back cushion. Your eyes fluttered open when Remus sat down next to you.

He nudged your knee. "C'mon, let's get you to bed before you fall asleep with that thing in your hand."

You blinked down at the nugget. "I wasn’t finished with it."

Remus plucked it from your fingers and set it in the box before pulling you to your feet. "You can finish it in the morning."

Your legs wobbled, and before he could even react, you tripped over your own feet and practically collapsed against his chest.

"Alright, that’s enough of that," he muttered, hooking an arm around your waist and steering you toward his bedroom. "You’re a hazard."

You giggled sleepily, resting most of your weight against him. "You take such good care of me, Moony."

"Someone has to," he said, half-carrying you down the hallway.

The second you saw his bed, you practically melted. You fell face-first onto the mattress with a happy sigh, kicking off your shoes but making no move to change out of your going out clothes.

Remus sighed. "You need to change."

"Mmm, don’t wanna."

"Yeah? Well, you can’t sleep in a sequin skirt."

You groaned dramatically into the pillow. "Ugh, fine. But you have to help me."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "You’re really making me do this, huh?"

You peeked up at him, smiling innocently. "Please?"

With a long-suffering sigh, he moved to his dresser, opening the bottom drawer—your drawer.

That realization hit him like a brick to the chest.

He had an entire drawer of your clothes at his flat.

T-shirts, sweaters, pajama shorts—hell, even a pair of fuzzy socks you always insisted were "the superior socks."

And somehow, he had never really thought about it. Never thought about how that probably wasn’t a normal friend thing.

Shaking the thought away, he grabbed one of his old sweaters you had claimed as your own and a pair of soft shorts before turning back to you. "Alright, sit up."

You did so, though sluggishly, letting him pull your shirt over your head. He didn’t let himself linger, keeping his movements brisk as he slipped the sweater over you. The skirt came next, and he averted his eyes as he guided the shorts up your legs.

When you were finally dressed in sleep appropriate clothes, you flopped back onto the bed, snuggling into the pillow with a sleepy hum. "So comfy."

Remus huffed a laugh, pulling the blanket over you. "Yeah, yeah."

You cracked an eye open. "Aren’t you getting in?"

He hesitated. Maybe he had let James and Sirius get into his head after all. Since when did he care about sleeping next to you? "I was gonna sleep on the couch."

You frowned, reaching out to grab his wrist. "Remus, if you think I’m letting you sleep on that lumpy couch just because I took your bed, you’re dead wrong. Get in."

It wasn’t like he hadn’t slept beside you before. It had happened plenty of times—movie nights, late-night study sessions that ended in accidental naps.

So he sighed and gave in, sliding under the covers beside you.

The second he settled, you curled into his side, throwing an arm around his middle and burying your face against his chest.

And that—that wasn’t something friends did.

Remus swallowed, heart hammering just a little too hard as he let himself relax against you.

"Night, Moony," you mumbled sleepily.

He closed his eyes.

"Night, love."

.・。.・゜✭・.

“This is agony. Pure, unfiltered agony.”

Sirius was sprawled across the couch like a Victorian child on his deathbed, his injured hand held aloft as if it were something far more grievous than a tiny splinter in his palm.

"You’ll live," you muttered, perched on the armrest, tweezers in hand. "Hold still."

"Hold still, she says. As if she isn’t actively torturing me."

"You are so dramatic," Remus said, not looking up from his book.

James, lounging on the floor again, smirked. "I dunno, Moony. Looks pretty serious. Might have to amputate."

Sirius gasped. "Not helping, Prongs!"

You sighed, brushing your hair back as you leaned in, squinting at the tiny sliver of wood embedded in his skin.

It fell right back into your face.

You huffed in frustration, pushing it back again, only for it to slip forward once more.

Remus reached out without even looking up from his book, gathering your hair in one hand and twisting it into a ponytail with an ease that could only come from far too much practice.

He secured it with the hair tie you always kept around your wrist, giving it a gentle tug to make sure it held.

"Better?" he asked absently.

You blinked, momentarily caught off guard before nodding. "Uh, yeah. Thanks."

Remus hummed in response, eyes still scanning the page in front of him.

It took him exactly three more seconds to realize the room had gone dead silent. He looked up.

James and Sirius were already smirking, which was expected but never a good sign.

What was not expected was the rest of the room.

Lily, Marlene, Mary, and Mary all sat watching him with varying degrees of amusement and satisfaction, as if he had just proven some long-running theory correct.

Mary, taking a slow sip from her drink, arched an eyebrow. "That was interesting."

Marlene snorted. "Oh, so interesting."

Lily and Mary exchanged looks, trying — and failing — to suppress their grins.

Remus frowned. "What?"

James sighed dramatically, shaking his head. "Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless."

Remus turned to you for support, but you were just staring at him, expression unreadable.

"Can I just say," Sirius said, voice far too pleased, "watching you do that was infuriatingly domestic."

Remus felt a warmth creep up the back of his neck. "What? It’s not weird. I’ve done it before."

"Exactly," Lily said, eyes twinkling.

Remus opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Because, well.

They weren’t wrong.

And that was a problem.

Because if everyone else could see it—if it was that obvious—then maybe, he wasn’t as subtle as he thought.

And maybe, just maybe…

He wasn’t as platonic as he thought, either.

.・。.・゜✭・.

Later that night, the group spilled out onto the pavement, shoving and laughing as they made their way toward Remus’ car. The plan was simple: pub, drinks, and probably more poor decisions than anyone was willing to acknowledge.

The second they stepped outside, Sirius bolted for the passenger seat.

He didn’t make it.

Just as he reached for the door handle, Remus grabbed the back of his jacket, yanking him to a halt with practiced ease.

"Oi!" Sirius squawked, flailing as he stumbled back. "What the hell, Moony?"

Remus didn’t answer. He just reached past him, pulled the door open, and—without even looking—gestured for you to get in.

You grinned, sending Sirius a smug look as you slid into your usual spot.

Sirius threw his hands in the air. "This is blatant favoritism!"

"Yeah, and?" Remus said flatly, shutting the door behind you.

Sirius turned to the group for backup, waving a dramatic hand at the car. "Do you see this? She always gets to ride shotgun! It’s never my turn!"

"You’re not wrong," Marlene mused, crossing her arms.

James snorted. "Yeah, but it’s also never going to be your turn, mate."

Sirius gasped, clutching his chest like he’d been personally betrayed. "Et tu, Prongs?"

"Look, Pads," Lily said, biting back a laugh. "You can either sit in the back like a good boy or walk to the pub yourself."

Sirius whirled back to Remus. "This is so unfair. I called it!"

"You ran for it," Remus corrected, shoving his hands into his pockets. "And that’s where you went wrong."

Dorcas smirked. "You should know by now, Black—calling it doesn’t matter."

Sirius huffed, eyes narrowing. "You all suck."

"Cool," Mary said. "Get in the car."

With much grumbling, and one final glare in your direction, Sirius finally relented, dramatically throwing himself into the backseat.

As Remus slid into the driver’s seat, you shot him a look. "That was a little mean."

He just shrugged. "He’ll live."

From the back, Sirius groaned. "I won’t live. I’ll never recover from this injustice."

James clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Tough break, mate."

.・。.・゜✭・.

The pub was packed as usual, the dim lighting and rowdy chatter filling the air with a familiar buzz. Remus had already claimed his usual spot at the table, perched in the corner with Sirius and James, both of them in their own little world, arguing over something Remus was sure related to sports. You had, of course, wandered up to the bar to order the next round for everyone.

Remus watched you from across the room, the way your head tipped back in a laugh, your eyes catching the light as you exchanged words with the bartender. His gaze was a little more than casual, his thoughts drifting in a comfortable haze. He always liked watching you, particularly when you were in your element, laughing, talking, just being... well, you.

But then, his attention snapped to focus when he saw a man sidling up to you, too close for comfort. The guy was grinning like he’d just hit the jackpot, his breath a little too close to your ear as he leaned in, probably to say something that was meant to be flirtatious but came off as a bit off.

Remus’ muscles tensed immediately.

You shifted uncomfortably, visibly inching away from the man, but he didn’t seem to get the hint. Your polite smile was beginning to falter, a hint of unease flickering in your eyes. That was all Remus needed to see. Without another thought, he pushed himself out of his chair and made his way over to you.

He wasn’t sure what exactly made him move so quickly—maybe it was the protective instinct kicking in, or maybe it was the fact that the guy was making you uncomfortable, and that was something he wouldn’t stand for.

As he approached, the man didn’t even notice Remus’ presence until he was right there, standing between you two. Remus didn’t say a word at first, but he subtly placed a hand on the counter next to you, creating a barrier between you and the man. The guy glanced at him, then looked back at you, confusion in his eyes as if he couldn’t figure out what just happened.

“I think she’s had enough of your company,” Remus said, his tone easy but firm, the kind that brooked no argument.

You blinked at him, a little surprised, but relieved. "Oh, hey, Remus."

The guy let out a quiet huff, clearly not pleased with being interrupted, but Remus didn’t care. He didn’t even look at the man, instead keeping his focus on you. "You good?"

You gave him a grateful smile, though there was still a trace of tension in your shoulders. "Yeah, I was just trying to get the drinks sorted, but…" You trailed off with a small sigh. "Some people don’t take the hint."

Remus nodded, his expression softening as he gave you a quick once-over to make sure you were really alright. His hand on the bar tightened for a second before he stepped back, allowing the man to sulk off into the crowd, clearly outmatched.

As the guy retreated, Remus turned to you, eyebrow raised, as if to say Well?

You exhaled slowly, letting the tension roll off your shoulders. "I think I’m fine now. Thanks." Your smile was genuine, though a little shy.

“No problem,” he said with a small nod. “You’re always welcome to call on me for a rescue mission.”

Your grin widened. "I’ll keep that in mind."

A few steps behind, Sirius and James had been watching the entire exchange, both of them wearing identical, knowing smirks.

Sirius leaned toward James, his voice just loud enough for Remus to hear as he returned to the table, carrying the tray of drinks you had ordered. “There it is.”

James, his gaze lingering on Remus, nodded with a grin. “Yeah, he just can’t help himself.”

Sirius leaned back in his chair, his grin only widening as he shot Remus a look.

Remus didn’t bother to engage. He just shook his head, taking a swig from his new drink, trying to ignore the persistent smirks from his friends. The truth was, he didn’t really care. You were safe, and that was all that mattered.

You took a sip of your drink, then shot a look toward Sirius and James. "You guys are awful."

James held his hands up in mock defense. "We’re just here to witness greatness. You know, like when someone becomes a knight in shining armor."

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “Please. I don’t need you two bringing it up all night.”

Sirius pouted. "Ah, come on, it’s cute."

Remus, from across the table, rolled his eyes. He was alright with them mocking him all they want, but he didn’t want you to have to endure it as well. "Can you let it go?”

The two of them just grinned at each other knowingly.

But Remus couldn’t help the way his chest felt just a little warmer as he glanced at you, still sipping your drink and trying to ignore the teasing from his friends.

He’d protect you, of course. That was easy. What he hadn’t anticipated was how much more complicated this was becoming.

.・。.・゜✭・.

It was one of those rare, easy afternoons when the group of friends were all gathered at Sirius' place, the kind of lazy Saturday that was long overdue. James and Sirius were already in the middle of a heated round of Just Dance, their movements wildly exaggerated and completely offbeat. You and Remus were seated on the couch, taking the position of amused spectators.

“Come on, Moony, you’re next,” Sirius called over his shoulder, grinning as he wiped sweat off his brow after a particularly dramatic move.

Remus shook his head, arms folded across his chest. “No chance. I have no desire to make a fool of myself in front of all of you.”

You snorted. “As if you don’t already do that on a daily basis.”

“Oi, that’s a low blow,” Remus shot back, raising an eyebrow. “You sure you want to go there?”

“I’m just stating facts,” you quipped, grinning as you gave him a teasing look.

“You’re just mad I’m better at trivia than you,” Remus smirked, leaning back into the cushions.

“Please,” you scoffed. “You only win because I let you. This is the same reason you won’t play Just Dance—it’s all about your fragile ego, isn’t it?”

“Oh, we’re bringing up ego now, are we?” Remus shot back, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Let me guess, you’re some sort of dancing queen, huh?”

“I’d wipe the floor with you,” you said, giving him a playful side-eye.

Sirius, overhearing the conversation, turned to James, who was still trying to keep up with the overly energetic moves on the screen. “I’m pretty sure Remus is just scared he’ll lose to you. He knows he’s got no rhythm.”

“Rhythm?” Remus raised an eyebrow. “You’re calling me out for not having rhythm? Have you seen you two dance? It’s like watching a pair of drunk flamingos try to navigate a minefield.”

James laughed, not missing a beat. “Hey, at least we’re trying! You’re over here acting like you’re too good for it. You’ve got no excuse, mate.”

“Fine,” Remus grumbled, tossing his book aside. “But if I embarrass myself, I’m blaming all of you.”

You threw your hands up in mock surrender. “We’ll take full responsibility for your impending humiliation.”

As the game began, you danced with all the enthusiasm you could muster, putting on a surprisingly good show. Remus, reluctantly, followed suit, stepping into the designated space with all the grace of a confused moose. It didn’t take long before Sirius was practically throwing himself into the performance, determined to win.

Then it was your turn again, and Sirius was having none of it. His moves were exaggerated, clearly intended to throw you off, and, with a dramatic flourish, he ended up winning the round. He let out a victorious whoop, grinning widely.

“Take that!” Sirius laughed, pumping his fist into the air. “Who’s the champion now?”

You shot him a mock glare, shaking your head. “You’ve had your fun. Enjoy it while it lasts, Pads.”

“Well, I won’t say no to some well-deserved praise,” Sirius smirked, and before you could protest, he added, “You know, maybe you should just give up now. We all know you don’t have the skills to beat me.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Remus said, his voice calm but firm. “Don’t push it, Pads.”

Sirius looked at him, blinking in surprise. “What, you’re going to defend her now?” he teased, but Remus didn’t bite.

“No, I’m just saying—stop,” Remus said, his tone low, eyes flicking between Sirius and you. “Only I get to make fun of her. Got it?”

The room went silent for a moment. Sirius stared at him, a slight frown on his face, as though weighing his words carefully. Then, in a move that surprised everyone—including Remus—Sirius stood up and clapped his hands together.

“Right. I’ve had enough of this,” he said, his voice suddenly serious. “You two are so obviously hopeless that I can’t even look at you without wanting to throw something.”

Before anyone could react, Sirius grabbed Remus by the arm and pulled him toward the hallway.

“What the hell—” Remus protested, though his voice was more confused than angry.

“Nope. Not happening,” Sirius said with a grin. “James! Get in here! I need backup!”

James, who had been leaning against the wall with an amused grin, snapped to attention at the command. “On it!” He quickly moved toward you, grabbing you with surprising gentleness. “Time for an intervention.”

You blinked, caught completely off guard. “Wait, what are you—?”

Before you could finish the sentence, both James and Sirius had shoved you and Remus into the bathroom and locked the door behind you.

“Oi!” you shouted, banging on the door. “What’s going on?!”

From the other side, you heard Sirius’ voice, full of exasperation. “We’re not letting you two out until you finally figure it out. You’re both being ridiculous.”

“You can’t be serious,” Remus called back, his tone slightly panicked. “Let us out!”

“Not until you two finally get over yourselves and make out,” James yelled from the hallway.

You blinked at Remus, utterly speechless. “They can’t be serious… right?”

Remus let out a groan of frustration, running a hand through his hair. “Unfortunately, I think they are.”

You gave him a sheepish smile. “Well… seems like we’re stuck here until they get bored.”

His eyes softened slightly as he looked at you. “Yeah, guess so.”

The two of you stood there for a few moments in the tiny bathroom, the silence hanging between you. Outside the door, you could hear Sirius and James laughing, clearly enjoying the chaos they’d caused, but you and Remus were left in an awkward limbo.

“So,” you started, trying to break the tension, “what exactly is going on here? What are they on about?”

Remus sighed, leaning back against the sink. He seemed hesitant, like he wasn’t sure how to even begin explaining, but eventually, he rubbed the back of his neck. “You know how they always tease me about… well, us?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, but that’s nothing new. They tease you about everything.”

“True,” he muttered, looking uncomfortable. “But lately, they’ve been—well, they’ve been noticing... things. Little things, I guess.” His eyes flicked to yours, then away. “Like the way I treat you... and the way you treat me.”

You blinked, confused. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well,” he started slowly, clearly unsure of how to phrase it, “Sirius and James—they’ve noticed that I do... well, things for you. Like... I look out for you a lot more than I do anyone else. And you do the same for me. They started calling it... ‘boyfriend services,’ I guess.” He winced at the words as though they left a bad taste in his mouth.

“Boyfriend services?” you repeated, trying not to laugh. “And what exactly does that entail?”

Remus ran a hand through his hair again, clearly uncomfortable. “You know... like when I make sure you get home safe, or how I always make sure you have something to drink, or how I keep an eye out for you when we’re out and about. And you, well… you do similar things for me. It’s like… I don’t know. They see it as us giving each other the ‘girlfriend and boyfriend treatment,’ except, neither of us is actually calling it anything.”

You stood there, processing this for a moment. “Wait… so you’re telling me we’re both just doing these things for each other because we’re, what, friends? Or is there more to it than that?”

“Well, it’s kind of funny,” you said with a small, teasing smile. “All this time, I’ve been wondering when you were going to finally ask me out, and here we are, locked in a bathroom with your friends demanding we ‘make out’ because we’re already acting like a couple.”

Remus blinked, looking at you like you’d just said something utterly absurd. “Wait… you—you were waiting for me to ask you out?”

“Yeah, well,” you shrugged, a little sheepish now, “I thought it was pretty obvious.”

Remus’s face turned a shade darker, and for a moment, he seemed speechless, as if the world had suddenly spun out of his control. “You… you’d actually be okay with that? With me? With—” He faltered, his voice cracking slightly. “I mean, I don’t want to make things awkward, or—”

You held up a hand, cutting him off. “Remus,” you said, your voice soft but sure. “It’s only awkward because we’re making it awkward. I wouldn’t mind the girlfriend title at all.”

The words hung in the air, a heavy silence between you two as you watched his face shift from stunned confusion to something much softer, something vulnerable. His lips parted as if he had more to say, but nothing came out. For a long moment, neither of you spoke.

Finally, he let out a breath and stepped closer, his hand tentatively reaching for yours. “You really mean that?”

You nodded, your heart beating faster now. “Yeah. I do.”

Remus smiled, but it wasn’t the usual cheeky grin you were used to. It was different, softer—like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “Well… I guess that makes two of us then.”

Before you could respond, there was a sudden banging on the door.

“Oi!” Sirius shouted from the other side. “Enough of this sappy stuff! We’ve had enough of the ‘will-they-won’t-they’. Kiss already!”

You shot a look at Remus, who was clearly trying to hide his smirk behind a hand. “I think they’re getting impatient,” you said with a dry laugh.

Remus just shook his head. “Those two are insufferable.”

With that, he leaned in, slowly, his breath warm on your face. His hand gently cupped your cheek, and for a split second, it felt like the world had come to a halt. Then, with a soft, tentative smile, he kissed you.

The kiss was gentle, hesitant at first, as if both of you were testing the waters. But the longer it lasted, the more natural it felt, until the world outside of the bathroom ceased to exist. It was just the two of you, finally figuring things out.

And, of course, the moment was interrupted by loud knocking and shouts of “We can’t hear you over here, make it louder!” from Sirius.

Remus groaned into the kiss, pulling away for a brief moment, his forehead resting against yours. “I swear, when I get out of here, I’m going to kill them.”

You chuckled softly, your fingers still resting lightly on his chest. “You’ll have time for that later,” you teased, a playful grin tugging at the corners of your mouth as you leaned in to kiss him again.

His lips quirked into a smile before he kissed you back, his grip tightening around your waist.

The loud thuds from outside the bathroom door grew more frantic, with Sirius's voice ringing through the wood, “Oi! We’re not letting you out until we hear more action in there, Moony!”

You pulled away from Remus, shaking your head with a laugh. “They’re relentless.”

Remus grinned, his eyes gleaming with a mix of affection and exasperation. “You have no idea.”

“Remus,” you said, your tone teasing as you stepped back just slightly, “I think they’re enjoying this a bit too much.”

He sighed dramatically, his hand still resting on your waist as he glanced toward the door. “If I wasn’t so in love with you right now, I’d be plotting my revenge on them. This is absolutely ridiculous.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, a soft sound that made his heart skip a beat. “Well, looks like you’re stuck with me for now, love,” you said, your voice low and playful. “And, as much as I’d like to torture them, I’m pretty sure they’ll never let us out unless we give them exactly what they want.”

Remus gave you a look, his eyes narrowing in mock suspicion. “Are you trying to say that we’re going to have to... satisfy them?”

“Hmm,” you hummed, pretending to consider the suggestion.

Remus smiled at you, the tension that had been building up between you two melting away into something simpler, sweeter. “You know, I think I can handle that.”

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ssa-dado · 1 month ago

Text

Burgandy Swim Cap

triathlon!Aaron Hotchner x fleabag!reader Genre: meet-a-cute but you're mainly just ogling at Hotch as he swims in a speedo. Summary: You know those encounters that last, like, five seconds where literally nothing happens but still manage to blossom into a full-blown crush? Yeah. That. Partly because you're chronically single. Partly because you’re starved for attention. Mostly because you saw him in a speedo. A tight speedo. A tight, half-metallic speedo. A tight, half-metallic, very low-waisted speedo. So really, it’s not a crush, it’s cause and effect. Also… he’s a dad. Too. Warnings: objectification of the Hotchner body (called out twice for not having an ass, affectionately), implied age gap, sexual jokes and cuss words Word Count: 4.7k Dado's Corner: I genuinely don’t know how to tag the reader... but she’s giving me fleabag energy… so, uhmmm, let’s roll with that. Huge thanks and smooches to @hotchology for developing and proofreading the snippets I dropped in your dms at 11 pm unprompted 🧎‍♀️

masterlist(s)

It’s not your fault you’re staring out the cafeteria window that just so happens to overlook the pool. You’re literally facing it. What else are you supposed to do - dislocate your neck inhumanly to look the other way?

That window was meant for people-watching.

Specifically, for anxious parents to spy on their kids mid-paddle without interrupting the lesson every time little Aiden coughs. It’s not your fault you’re childless and currently repurposing the feature to ogle burgundy-swim-cap guy in lane four.

You’re just… respecting the building’s original design intent.

You needed the distraction. Desperately.

Because beside you, your friend is once again delivering the extended director’s cut of that five-minute interaction with the guy she’s allegedly, absolutely, 100% over.

The conversation happened three months ago.

You know this.

Because she has broken it down line by line for three months.

Every pause. Every blink.

So maybe you are a bad friend. Possibly a terrible person. Because while she unpacks every microscopic detail of his “Oh, I’m sorry I stepped on your toe”, you’re mentally calculating burgundy-swim-cap guy’s exact height.

From twelve feet up. Through water. And glass.

And okay… maybe it’s not just the height.

Maybe it’s also the length of his... arms.

Arms.

His arms.

Long, sinuous things slicing through the water like art. Like poetry. Like that one ballet you pretended to enjoy but secretly napped through.

This is different. This is science. You’re just appreciating form. Physics. Hydrodynamics, anatomy, geometry… all the -ometrics.

You’re not objectifying. You’re observing. A selfless academic pursuit, really.

Especially when he glides under one, two, three lane dividers in a single breath, back muscles shifting and flexing with each kick.

And God… his back. You can’t stop staring at it.

Wide. Solid. Disproportionately large, especially considering the man has absolutely zero ass. None. Negative ass. Just ten uninterrupted feet of legs. Stunning.

But it’s the manners that do it.

Because the moment he reaches the ladder and sees the lady from lane one headed there too?

He pauses. Actually waits. Even though he got there first. Doesn’t try to squeeze past her or pretend he didn’t see - no, he stops.

Gives her space. Gestures her to go. Looks away, even.

Eyes politely drifting up the tiled wall, to the stands below you where the suburban invasion of moms has taken hold, to the bright flags swaying just behind the cafeteria window -

Until he lifts his head a little too high.

Fuck… did he just catch you mid-stare? You can’t tell. The goggles - those hideous, mirrored cheap goggles - reflect everything and nothing at once.

Maybe he sees you.

Maybe he doesn’t.

Maybe your face is just a blurry little ghost in his periphery.

Either way, your entire body goes hot and rigid. You peel your eyes away - casually, discreetly, nod to your friend to pretend you’re still listening to her - but not entirely.

You still watch. You have to.

Because he’s about to rise from the pool. And you need to see it.

For research purposes.

For the sacred cause of scientific accuracy. You have to confirm if your earlier measurements were correct the moment he steps out of the water.

They weren’t.

Because he’s bigger. So much bigger.

You can’t tell exactly by how much, though, because the moment his biceps flex - thick and veiny - as he hauls himself up the ladder, your brain just… packs its bags and leaves.

Bye.

All higher function is instantly rerouted to the way the water clings to him - refuses to let go, even gravity is struggling to move on.

(Honestly? Fair. You wouldn’t want to let go either… you’re actually kind of jealous.)

Jealous of how those droplets trace his body - how most of them drip obediently, following the grooves of his muscles, but some linger. They pool in the thick mat of dark curls across his chest, clinging for dear life.

And why wouldn’t they? He’s covered in them.

A slick, glistening mess of wet hair clings to his pecs - dark curls matted down and glinting under the pool lights, looking so soft and stupidly biteable you could probably get arrested just for thinking about it.

Then the curls start to gather. Real organized.

Forming this tidy relatively thin line that runs straight down the center of his chest, gliding over the elegant suggestion of abs - not shredded, but sculpted. Classy, if that’s even possible.

The line of hair dips past his belly button and practically screams into your long-gone neural functions: lick here.

(And you would. With honor. For science. For the flag.)

Because then the trail spreads at his waistband, curling out along his obliques, a pair of sirens luring you to the main event: his very, very low-waisted speedo.

Duo-chrome. Black and something... metallic. Wicked.

The black half pretends to behave.

It lies to your face, “Look at me, look at me,” it says. “I’m discreet. I’m functional. I’m keeping things tasteful.”

But it’s a filthy little traitor. Because right next to it, the metallic side is doing everything but staying subtle. It wasn’t camouflaging a damn thing.

Topography: fully visible. The contour. The definition. The godforsaken outline.

Traceable. With a pencil.

Or your tongue.

Preferably your tongue.

Preferably slow. Possibly kneeling. Definitely grateful.

Because whatever anatomical miracle is happening beneath that lycra – truly might be the eighth wonder of the world built between two hipbones.

These are sickeningly good dick proportions.

Burgandy Swim Cap guy peels off the ugly goggles.

Be fucking damned. That is a hell of a face.

The suction rings frame his eyes - tender little indents where he clearly strapped those goggles too tight.

He’s a try-hard.

A confirmed overachiever - you can tell. It’s in the way he did those laps earlier - efficient, ruthless, mechanical - and in the speed too. Like every stroke was on a timer. Like there was something at stake.

Is burgundy-swim-cap guy training for something?

Maybe he’s a professional swimmer.

Maybe he’s training for a triathlon. The 2012 Olympics in London. A shot at some world record no one else cares about.

Maybe he’s an eldest son.

Maybe he’s got a dad who never said “I’m proud of you” without a follow-up critique.

Maybe he’s still trying to earn praise that never came.

Maybe it’s daddy issues - maybe it’s mommy issues. Issues… in general.

Maybe he’s spent his whole life needing to be exceptional just to feel enough.

Maybe he’s been through a heartbreak. A divorce. A loss.

Maybe he just has a lot of feelings and refuses to talk about any of them unless he’s actively swimming them to death.

Or maybe he’s just that guy - the kind who doesn’t do anything unless he can do it at 120%, even when no one’s watching. Especially when no one’s watching.

Maybe he holds himself to impossible standards because he doesn’t know how not to. Who swims like this because it’s the one place he can fail in private.

Who knows. Who cares.

He’s just a guy.

A man.

A stranger you’ve never even spoken to.

You don’t know his name, his voice, anything.

And yet, there’s something about him.

Something in the slope of his nose, in the way his flushed cheeks are still chasing the rhythm of his pulse, in the rise and fall of his chest. It’s not bodybuilder-big, not exaggerated - but it feels massive.

Maybe it’s just because it’s him.

Because every breath he takes stretches that hairy chest just a little wider, a little broader, until the space around you feels like it’s shrinking, like there’s not enough air left in the room that isn’t his.

You’re fine. You are totally fine.

You’re also clenching your thighs for absolutely no reason. None.

Until - he removes the burgundy swim cap.

Now you do have a reason.

Because beneath it is this obscene head of raven-black hair.

Thick. Damp. Unruly.

Some of it’s clinging to his forehead, but the rest is sticking out in a thousand different directions like it doesn’t give a single shit about streamlining or aerodynamics.

He looks deliciously messy.

But he doesn’t let it stay.

No, he runs his hand through it almost immediately, slicking it back, a man who cannot stand the chaos of hair across his eyes, he can’t stand being out of place.

Control freak. Freak in general.

That tracks.

Still hot.

Hotter.

And still, he doesn’t play to the crowd.

He could - he should - scan the room, make eye contact, maybe throw in a wink or a casual flex. He could at least give a nod to the fact that half the people on this side of the glass are currently 1,461 words deep into mentally drafting smutty fiction with him as the main character.

But no.

He just looks down, slides into his pathetic little (from where you’re standing… sitting.) pool slippers, and rushes toward the changing rooms like he’s late to something.

A loser. An absolute loser.

It’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

You’re completely captivated - so much so that, when your friend finally finishes her emotional postmortem and disappears down the corridor toward the pool, you subtly change seats to get a better view of the hallway.

A strategic move, just in case burgundy-swim-cap guy decides he’s earned a post-swim coffee after all that aquatic foreplay you projected onto him from the safety of your horny little imagination.

Well. You’re getting coffee, at least. You deserve a reward. A hot, mildly burnt one.

You’ve been through a lot.

Except it’s possibly the worst line you’ve ever stood in because you had the genius idea to go for caffeine at the exact same time the children’s swim class ended.

Now you’re trapped - shoulder to shoulder with a damp, shrieking mob of underdeveloped humans all demanding hot dogs, pizza, cheeseburgers, and, from the look in one child’s eyes, possibly the cashier’s soul.

You’ve entered a purgatory of sticky fingers and pure indecision, where time slows and the line somehow clogs even more with every passing second.

It’s not their fault - children are absolute demons in Crocs. They don’t know what they want. They pause. They backtrack.

One child is negotiating for “just the cheese from the cheeseburger, but on a hot dog bun,” and you are watching, in real time, the unraveling of Western civilization.

…You hate that you respect the innovation.

It’s fine. You’re fine.

You just really, really don’t want to miss Burgundy Swim Cap Guy if he happens to pass by - maybe in jeans, maybe (if there’s any justice left in the universe) grey sweatpants, or a hoodie two sizes too big.

Something casual. Unassuming.

Something that dares to cover everything you now know is under there - and somehow makes it worse.

Something that’s the reason your mouth is dry and you’re stuck in this line, mentally begging for something warm to wrap your lips around and feel vaguely hydrated again.

You’re trying to be patient. You’re trying not to hate the one kid crying because his juice is too red and his dad fumbling with his wallet.

You’re a monster. The worst kind of person.

These kids are innocent.

They’re not responsible for the slow-burn, will-they-won’t-they fantasy you’ve constructed entirely in your touch-starved brain - just to distract yourself from the fact that you haven’t been held in actual, human arms in months, your last situationship ended because they “forgot they weren’t single,” the closest thing you’ve had to intimacy this year was a barista remembering your name – once - and, okay, technically there was also that one time a man with a van asked if you “liked adventure,” but you don’t count that unless you're feeling especially pathe-

“That’ll be $2.50,” says the cashier.

Snaps you instantly back to the cruel reality where the only thing you're taking home tonight is a stupid plastic bracelet that’s already cutting into your wrist and the lingering scent of disinfectant.

(Good luck taking that away.)

You hand him a twenty.

He looks at you, deadpan, like he’s about to ask if your sad little wallet also holds the answer to the mental math problem he just did in half a second - the kind of calculation only a man with a degree in math or engineering could do, now tragically stuck working in a depressing public pool cafeteria.

Not even a cool street café. No latte art. No jazz music. Just chlorine and despair.

You give him a sheepish half-smile.

The twenty is all you had.

Okay - technically you had 50 cents too.

Maybe.

In loose change that’s probably fused with gum wrappers and lint at the bottom of your bag but explaining that feels like a one-way ticket to having a burnt cappuccino tossed in your face.

It’s 2011. Surely cafeterias still carry change.

…Apparently not.

“Card?” he asks.

You have exactly $1.78 on your card. You know this because you checked this morning, like the responsible adult you pretend to be.

This is bad.

This is humiliating.

This is the exact kind of character-building moment that turns into a core memory your brain will randomly replay at 3 a.m. for the next seven years.

The kids behind you are screaming. (Except one. One child is calmly and confidently negotiating a pizza-inside-a-burger situation with his father, who looks like he lost custody in the divorce and also in this conversation.)

And then there are the dads, too. You can feel them. Judging you.

You don’t even need to turn around.

Which is a shame, really. Because you love dads. You’re hopelessly, helplessly, filthily attracted to dads.

Hot dads? Daddy dads? Men with crow’s feet and deep voices who say things like “I’ll take care of it” and mean it? Slightly emotionally unavailable men with strong forearms, guilt complexes, and unresolved trauma they process exclusively through precision lawn edging and Sunday barbecue duty?

Inject that straight into your bloodstream.

You want them tired. You want them emotionally repressed. You want them to carry patio furniture like it weighs nothing and grunt when they sit down. You want to be a problem.

But these dads?

Their suburban dad disapproval is so potent it might as well be playing on loop over the intercom right between announcements for lost goggles and swim meet fundraisers.

These dads would ask about your five-year plan, nod thoughtfully, then ghost you via a LinkedIn message.

These dads are not for you.

These dads can go.

And so you panic. Sweat. Freeze. Until-

A hand.

A large hand.

Chubby-fingered, hairy, left-handed and wrapped in the crisp white cuff of a very expensive white shirt, peeking out from an even more expensive black suit jacket.

There’s a Rolex on his wrist. A real one.

That same hand, gentle and unbothered, slides a credit card (which looks comically small in those thick fingers, by the way) right into the reader, where $2.50 is already floating on the screen.

“I got it,” says a voice.

Oh.

Oh no.

It’s deep. Unreasonably deep. The kind of voice that should be illegal before noon.

And soft, too, absurdly soft for how deep it is because the vibrations travel straight from your ear to your… there. There, there.

You turn. Slowly.

And there he is.

A man.

(Surprise!)

Not just a man – a Man. Capital M, bolded, underlined, possibly trademarked if your bank account could handle the licensing fee.

He’s in a suit. In a full suit. Black jacket. White shirt. Burgundy tie.

You blink… wait is that- no way.

It’s him.

It’s Burgundy Swim Cap Guy.

Now in Burgundy Tie.

He matched.

Goddamn it. What a loser. What a hot, meticulous loser.

Oh, Burgundy Swim Cap man.

Yeah, let’s get that correction in there. Man.

Because up close, in proper daylight and expensive tailoring, he’s clearly way older than he looked in the pool. Deliciously older kind of old.

… And here you thought he was your age. (You were wrong. Again.)

All the better.

You barely recognize him in this polished version of himself - drenched in a cologne that costs more than your monthly grocery budget and somehow isn’t obnoxious.

It’s that expensive.

It’s not that aquatic bullshit guys in finance wear.

No. It’s warm. Inviting. Woodsy. A little smoky.

Expensive in the way that makes you want to bury your face in his neck and inhale until you black out while pretending you weren’t about to fall in love over his clavicle. (Yeah… too specific?)

And beneath it - just a trace - chlorine.

God help you.

You’re going to die here.

He even has a cowlick. A perfectly smoothed cowlick.

The kind that clearly took time, effort, wrist action, and probably a round brush.

He blow-dries.

He has a routine. A regimen. He has systems.

He’s probably terrifying in the morning. The kind of man who folds things. The kind who knows where his passport is right now.

Now, now.

But now he’s looking at you, brows thick, slightly furrowed.

Do you have something on your face? No. Can’t be.

No, you’ve just been staring at him like a feral raccoon. You still haven’t spoken.

…right.

“…Thank you,” you manage, barely audible - just as his phone starts ringing in his jacket pocket.

Drowned out by technology. Your gratitude swallowed by a default ringtone, who would have ever guessed.

He pulls the phone out, and just before he lifts it to his ear, you catch something - someone’s voice on the other end. A name? His? Yes they’re calling him it must’ve been his. Something clipped, ending in -chh or -shhh.

Josh?

Oh. Huh.

…Kind of disappointing.

You thought his name would be more... posh. Like something that comes with personalized cufflinks and generational trauma

….but Josh? That’s a guy who texts “you up?” at 11:48 PM from his blackberry pearl.

You hoped for more… syllables.

Whatever. What really surprises you is that Burgundy Swim Cap Man-slash-Josh-slash-Posh doesn’t say a word during the call. Not one.

He just holds the phone to his ear and stares - intensely - at a spot inside the glass food display. Not blinking. Not moving.

You’re genuinely concerned for the sandwich he’s glaring at. (It’s about five seconds away from bursting into flames.)

And you - you ache for that stare.

You want it on you. Burn it into your skin. You’d commit actual, punishable crimes for that kind of violent visual attention.

“Garcia, send me the files. We’ll brief the team as soon as I arrive,” he says - voice all business, clipped, calm, so authoritative it almost makes you bite your lip on reflex.

Then the phone disappears back into his pocket like it’s never existed, and without missing a beat: “An Americano, please.”

…Why doesn’t this surprise you? Could he be any more predictably boring? Go on, order a plain bagel and a side of unseasoned guilt while you’re at it.

But his eyes flick to the pastry shelf instead.

Brows furrow, slightly, sexily, offensively; he’s clearly doing some kind of emotional calculus about whether his swim earned him the moral right to a treat.

(He probably didn’t get many growing up.)

“And, uh… can I get the rainbow muffin to go?” he says, pointing with his chubby index finger toward the kids' menu.

You follow it (like an idiot).

And there it is. The muffin. Rainbow-sprinkled. Rainbow dough. Probably tastes like chemical vanilla. Pastel wrapper. Comes with a bubble blower, too.

A muffin. With a toy.

…This man.

You hate him. You want him. You’d marry him on sight.

He picks up the phone again. Dials. Calm. Efficient.

“Hey, can you pass me to Jack?” he says.

The frown - just a flicker ago, all sharp lines and no-nonsense jaw - melts. His face softens like he’s been flipped to a different setting and you actually flinch a little because how is that the same face?

“Hey, buddy.”

Oh. God, his voice. It goes soft. Stupidly soft.

“I’ve gotta be at work a little earlier today,” he murmurs, gently gripping the phone. “But I got you something… did you finish your homework?”

May you be absolutely, irreparably damned.

He’s a dad.

“Good job, buddy. I’m coming home soon, okay? Got you a surprise,” He glances down at the rainbow muffin. A little fond. A little sad, even. “Yes, you can do movie night with Aunt Jessica if I don’t manage to be there tonight…”

You wander how many other movie nights he missed.

“Yes, buddy,” he chuckles (you want to bite through drywall), “No, I didn’t forget the popcorn this time. You can have them with Aunt Jessica, she knows where they are… Yes, with salted caramel too. But don’t eat too much, alright?”

He pauses. Adds, with a soft little dad scold, “Make Aunt Jessica have some too this time. Save a few for Daddy, okay?”

Daddy.

Your knees give out.

No, not literally. You keep standing. But spiritually? Morally? Muscularly? You’ve dropped to the floor.

And then, casually, cruelly, he reaches for his coffee. With his ringless - yes, ringless - hand.

Not that you’re thinking about it. Not that you noticed. Not that you checked. Twice.

“Alright, buddy, I gotta go,” he says. His voice lowers again, not serious, just softer. Like he doesn’t want to hang up but he’s used to having to. “I’ll see you tonight. Be good, okay?” And then he smiles. To his phone. Like his whole face is a love letter.

Dimples. Of course. Of course this man has dimples. A loser dad with dimples.

“Love you too, bud”

And that’s it.

Phone call over.

You should walk away. You want to walk away.

But now you’re locked in that awkward limbo of mutual acknowledgment - the cursed micro-social contract that binds all humans in public spaces: you made eye contact, you must now exchange a minimum of one sentence to confirm shared reality.

He turns to you.

You are sweating. You are visibly short-circuiting.

No one is saying anything.

Fuck.

You shouldn’t have listened to his very personal call to his very personal son.

You shouldn’t have looked.

You shouldn’t have stared so hard you could recite the ingredients list on that muffin.

Fuck.

His shoulders look even broader in the suit.

Not just handsome - no, broad. Imposing.

Too bad the slacks are hiding his massi-

“The bubble blower’s for my kid,” he says, suddenly.

A preemptive strike. A full-grown man in what has to be his mid-40s, clarifying that he is not, in fact, personally invested in aquatic toy acquisition.

Funny, though - he didn’t feel the need to defend the rainbow pastry.

Interesting.

Bad for him.

“The muffin’s for the dad instead?” You nod toward the sad pastel pile in his hand.

(You’re a bit of a mean flirt - not because you’re heartless, but because it’s the only way you know how to hold on to a little power when someone makes your brain turn to mush.)

If you can’t stop yourself from falling for them, at least you can make sure they’re a little off-balance, too.

“If the dad’s lucky, he’ll probably get just a bite,” he replies, deadpan - like, completely expressionless except for the slight raise of his eyebrows at the end. You don’t even know where the voice came from. His mouth barely moved.

…Ventriloquism, probably.

Then he glances down at the linoleum floor. Smiles, almost shy.

“My son has a sweet tooth.”

Fucking hell.

This man is gushing about his kid to a total stranger in a pool cafeteria. No hesitation. No shame.

You are two seconds away from him flipping open his photo gallery and showing you twenty-five nearly identical pictures of a child covered in chocolate frosting, all while holding the phone in those massive hands.

God, his hands.

You really need to stop noticing them.

“Get a muffin for yourself too,” you say, tossing it out like a joke. Half-meaning it. Mostly-meaning it.

He chuckles, raises a hand, shaking his head. “Oh no…”

“Scared of food coloring?”

“No, no,” he laughs again. “Just…” He shrugs. Doesn’t finish. Leaves it there, hanging.

Is it because he doesn’t think he deserves a little treat?

Or because he’s afraid of getting that crisp, probably dry-clean-only shirt stained with rainbow frosting?

“How much is one rainbow muffin?” you ask the cashier.

(You two are best friends in your head now.)

He barely looks up. Dead inside. “One seventy.”

(This friendship might be one-sided.)

You blink.

$1.70 for frozen dough and a toy that doubles as a choking hazard… meanwhile, your cappuccino cost more than a gallon of gas.

Fucked up economy for real.

Then you glance at the cashier’s hands… he’s already typing it in.

Okay. Take it back.

That’s the real sign of late-stage capitalism: rainbow muffin doesn’t even require your consent to be rung up… but hey, at least you can afford it.

You’ve never been happier to be $1.70 poorer in your entire adult life.

You pull out your card.

He notices.

He pulls his, too.

Two cards. One slit. (Now this reminds you of your browser history from last night-)

“No, please, I got it,” he says - again.

Oh no, a damsel mustn’t pay for herself. (You hate him. You want to climb him like a tree.)

Watch her do it anyway. With confidence and $1.78 in her account.

You both arrive at the card reader at the exact same time.

Hands bump. Wrists brush. The tension is… stupid.

It’s awkward. It’s ridiculous. It’s… romantic?

Maybe.

Or maybe you’re just touch-starved.

Still-

You win.

Swipe clean. Transaction approved.

Victory, feminism, and low blood sugar all in one swipe.

“Enjoy the bubbles,” you say, smiling as you hand him the pastry and the overpriced soapy water.

He takes it, eyes flicking between you and the muffin, and for a second he gives you that look.

That slightly tired, slightly amused look men give right before they tell you you’ve done something reckless. Or charming. Or both.

He looks like he’s about to scold you. Fatherly. Disgustingly (hot).

He doesn’t.

“Sure,” he says, deadpan. “I’ll cherish them.” (Who even uses ‘cherish’ in the 21st century?!) And then, at the very end of it, a smile. Small. Real.

He opens his mouth again, “I-”

A breath.

“I have to go.”

One last smile. Quick. Tight.

And he’s already turning. Already halfway to the exit.

You stare.

Helpless.

Unwell.

For a second, you hope this modern-day Cinderella in a suit might drop one of his wildly expensive Italian leather dress shoes so you’ll have something to hunt him down with across D.C.

Track him by scent and shoe size.

But no. The shoe stays on.

He probably triple-knots them like the terrifying overachiever he is.

He does stop, though - just for a second - to check the time on his very expensive Rolex.

Hot. Unforgivably hot.

This brief, chaotic muffin-flavored detour has probably set him back exactly one minute and twenty-one seconds, and you know he’s internally recalculating his entire schedule down to the microsecond.

And yes, the panic is subtle. But it’s there.

In the clench of his jaw. The twitch of his temple. That microscopic furrow in his brow that says: How dare I entertain myself with flirtatious nonsense when I have 7,000 emails to check by 5 P.M.

Incredible. You’ve rattled a man with a watch that costs more than your rent. You’ve won.

You are going to be insufferable about this when your friend finishes her class.

Forget “stepped on your toe” guy. That man is dead to the narrative.

This dad is going to be the main character of every single conversation you have for the next four months.

You will tell her everything. Every glance. Every gesture. The muffin. The bubble blower. The nonexistent ass. From the moment you first locked eyes with this burgundy-swim-cap man named-

“…Aaron,” the cashier mutters.

You blink. “What?”

“That’s his name,” he says flatly. “Aaron. He comes here a lot.”

The cashier really doesn’t get paid enough for this.

Aaron.

Wow.

Two syllables.

“FBI,” he even adds casually, like it’s no big deal, as he hands a slice of pizza tucked inside a cheeseburger to a damp-haired five-year-old.

So.

Aaron owns a pair of handcuffs.

Government-issued. Handcuffs.

That tracks.

taglist: @beata1108 ; @c-losur3 ; @fangirlunknown ; @hayleym1234 ; @justyourusualash ; @khxna ; @kyrathekiller ; @littlemisskavities ; @lostinwonderland314 ; @mxblobby ; @oxforce ; @percysley ; @person-005 ; @prettybaby-reid ; @reidfile ; @royalestrellas ; @ssa-callahan ; @softestqueeen ; @theseerbetweenus ; @todorokishoe24

#aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotch x reader #fleabag!reader

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wyniepooh · 11 months ago

Text

Closer

you thought that you were already close with patrick and art; turns out, you could get even closer.

Boardingschool!patrick & boardingschool!art x boardingschool!reader.

it’s no secret that the three of you were close.

Everyone at school acknowledges it by joking that you’re practically their manager, because you’re on the bleachers at every practice, seated front row at every match, and the second the games finishes (usually in their favour), the first person they go running to is you.

in fact, you're all so close that you've developed a habit to follow them into the locker room after every practice. if anyone ever questioned your entry into the room, they’d both chime at the same time: “she’s ours.”

neither of them bat an eye when you sit down on the bench between the metal lockers and watch them get changed because it’s you, their little manager, and they didn’t ever hide anything from you.

You’d read them the daily school news, explain the daily school gossip, and update them on any homework they missed in the name of tennis practice. they’d thank you in their typical ways by ruffling your hair and throwing their sweaty shirts on you before sandwiching you in a suffocating hug.

You shriek and laugh and say, ‘stop it!’ but really, you’re too focused on the feel of their bare chests against you— slippery from sweat and hot from the heat— to care about anything else.

There’s always a brief moment after all the amusement when the laughter dissipates and you’re all just staring at each other. Your smile fades, and suddenly you’re painfully aware of their rapid breaths rising against you on either side, and the heat of it all fills the silent air with something else other than just audible breaths.

Today it’s patrick who looks over to art first, who returns his stare with pressed lips. you catch a flicker of something in their eyes, but they looked away before you could decipher it. However, it was clear that a silent agreement had been reached right in front of you. you suspect that for the first time since you transferred to the school, they were hiding something from you.

patrick breaks the silence first, turning slightly away from you to gently close his locker as he murmurs, “you know, there have been a lot of rumours on campus lately.”

You scoffed, stuffing your agenda into your bag before smoothing a hand over your hair. “Really? What kind of rumours?”

Patrick shrugged. He pulled a shirt over his shoulders, nodding his head towards art. “Rumours about us, mostly. Tell her, art.”

art purses his lips multiple rimes before speaking. “It’s just trash talk,” he pauses. patrick glances over to him one more time, flashing him a subtle glare before art finally continues, “there's talk about how the three of us are suspiciously close, or whatever.”

“I guess it’s not so much a rumour as it is true,” you responded. You tilted your head towards them both, eyes squinting with humour as you questioned, “you guys do consider us close, right? I mean, after all I do for you guys, I’m honestly glad that people are speculating and starting to appreciate my efforts.”

“It’s just,” Patrick turns back around, shuffling his feet to sit down across from you on the bench with legs on either side of the wooden plank. His hands are gathered in the middle, fingers attempting to itch closer and closer to your own without you seeing.

“We could be a lot closer, you know.”

You raised an eyebrow at Patrick’s sneaky hands, a slight smile still intact on your face as you asked, “How close can we get, pat? There’s a limit to everything. Even the sky.”

“he’s right.”

You almost jump at the sudden voice you hear in your ear. you cleared your throat as he slid closer towards your back. Art mirrored Patrick’s movements with legs on either side of the bench, but his hands fiddled with the edge of your hoodie as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“We could be a lot closer.”

You observed the way art pressed his lips together, snuggling his face into the side of your neck as Patrick’s thumb rubbed circles on your hand. you hadn’t even registered that patrick was now grinning, guilding your unsuspecting hand towards his dark curls.

You instinctively wrap your fingers around his wet hair, and you almost gasp when you hear patrick whimper. He pants heavily against your wrist, lips tickling the tender skin as he breathes, “why don’t you come over to our dorm after class?”

You shake your head, dropping your hand from his head. “I don’t think-“

“Please,” art whispers against your neck.

You close your eyes, sucking on the inside of your cheek as you sighed deeply. For a beat, you simply listen to the sound of their synced breathing, taking in the familiar smell of the locker room, and the familiar smell of them. When you open your eyes again, Patrick and art are both eagerly staring at you, pleading with silence.

You suddenly laugh, smiling uncontrollably as you lean back against art and pull patrick closer by the hand that is still wrapped around yours. patrick gladly scooches closer until his nose is practically rubbing against yours, and he returns your laughter with a chuckle of his own.

“Okay,” you mutter while glancing back at art, whose mouth was agape with something adjacent to shock.

“so let’s get closer.”

a/n: “why don’t u come over to our-“ bags r packed.

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saystime · 22 days ago

Text

Half of What You Said

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: Things start to feel different between them during senior year, and when she sees something she wasn’t supposed to, she begins to question if Eddie’s hiding something or if she’s just imagining it.

𓆩❤︎𓆪

Eddie and Y/N’s relationship had always felt like magic in a world that rarely offered it.

It was late night van rides with the windows down and music up, whispered secrets shared under the bleachers, fingers tangled together during Hellfire meetings while everyone pretended not to notice. It was the kind of love that made everything else in Hawkins feel a little less small. A little less suffocating.

She used to feel like the center of his universe.

But lately… the stars had started to dim.

It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t explosive. It was subtle. A glance that didn’t last as long. A hug that felt distracted. Missed calls. Forgotten plans. A silence that grew in the space between their words, stretching further every time she asked if he was okay and he said, “I’m just tired.”

Tired. Of her? Of them?

She didn’t know. And it was slowly killing her.

The week before spring break, she caught him in the back hallway of the music room.

She was on her way to the library after dropping off a form in the front office, walking the long, echoing hallways near the old practice rooms when she turned a corner and stopped dead in her tracks.

Eddie was there. Leaning against a locker. Smiling.

With someone else.

A girl she didn’t know. Long hair, denim skirt, boots that clacked against the tile. She was laughing, leaning in close, hand brushing his forearm. And Eddie… Eddie wasn’t pulling away.

He said something that made the girl tilt her head and giggle again.

Y/N ducked behind the corner before they saw her. Her heart dropped straight into her stomach. She waited until the sound of their voices faded down the hallway, then fled in the opposite direction, hands shaking, throat tight.

She didn’t remember what book she went to the library for.

She didn’t bring it up that night. Not when he climbed into her bedroom window like he always did. Not when he kissed her forehead like everything was fine. Not when he fell asleep beside her with his arm around her waist and his breathing steady and soft.

But she stared at the ceiling for hours.

And when he left before sunrise, brushing her cheek with his thumb and murmuring, “See you at lunch,” she just nodded.

“You need to breathe,” Robin said three days later.

They were sitting on the hood of Robin’s car outside the school. The sun was setting behind the trees, painting the sky in burnt orange and pink. Robin passed her a soda and squinted at her like she was trying to read her mind.

“I saw him,” Y/N said quietly, pulling her knees to her chest.

“Saw who?”

“Eddie. With some girl. I think she was flirting with him.”

Robin didn’t speak right away. She twisted the cap off her soda and took a slow sip. “Did he flirt back?”

“He smiled at her,” Y/N murmured. “And he didn’t move away when she touched him.”

Robin groaned. “Okay, first of all, you know Eddie. He doesn’t know when someone’s flirting unless they spell it out in blinking lights. Second, he probably thought she was just being friendly. You know how people get around him.”

“That’s the thing,” Y/N whispered. “He didn’t look uncomfortable. He looked… happy. Like she was someone he wanted to talk to.”

The silence between them stretched.

“You should talk to him,” Robin said finally.

“I’m scared to hear the answer.”

Robin sighed and leaned her head against Y/N’s shoulder. “Then make him say it.”

The next afternoon, after a brutal chemistry test and a skipped lunch, Y/N was walking past the side hallway that led to the old theater when she heard voices.

She wouldn’t have stopped. Would’ve kept walking. But one of them was Eddie.

And the other was Gareth.

She slowed her steps. Something in Eddie’s tone—it wasn’t loud, but it was tense. Stressed. She paused just beside the wall, heart pounding.

“I’m telling you, man, you’ve gotta make a decision,” Gareth was saying.

“It’s not that simple,” Eddie hissed. “You think I wanted this to happen?”

“She’s not stupid,” Gareth shot back. “You keep acting weird, she’s gonna figure it out.”

Y/N’s stomach twisted.

“She already suspects something,” Eddie muttered. “I can feel it. The way she looks at me…”

“Well, she’s not wrong, is she?”

That silence hit like a slap.

“I never meant to hurt her,” Eddie said quietly. “But maybe it’s already too late.”

Y/N backed away slowly, blinking against the hot sting in her eyes. She turned and walked away before she heard anything else.

That night, she didn’t go to Hellfire. She didn’t answer when Dustin called. She didn’t respond to Eddie’s text: you ok?

She wasn’t.

She sat in her room with the lights off, knees to her chest, the quiet of her house pressing in on her like a weight.

Was he really seeing someone else? Was he falling out of love with her?

Had she already been replaced and just didn’t realize it?

Friday came with grey skies and a storm warning. Lunch period was buzzing with talk about the party at Jenny Baker’s place. Half the school was going. Even Gareth had invited her. “Eddie said he’s coming,” he added, almost too casually.

Y/N forced a smile and nodded.

She had to see for herself.

That night, the house was packed. Music pulsed from the speakers, cheap beer spilled across the kitchen floor, and the smell of smoke clung to the air.

Y/N moved through the crowd, eyes scanning.

She found him on the back porch. Gareth was there. So was Jeff. And her.

The girl from the hallway.

She was standing too close again, laughing at something Eddie said. He smiled politely but didn’t look at her the way Y/N feared he might.

Still… it was enough.

Y/N turned away before they could see her. Her breath hitched in her throat.

“Y/N?”

She jumped, spinning around. Eddie stood a few feet away, brow furrowed, beer in hand. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she said, voice sharp.

He blinked, caught off guard. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Guess you were too busy,” she muttered, brushing past him.

“Wait, what’s going on?”

“You tell me,” she snapped. “Because lately you’ve been distant. Weird. I saw you with her.”

“With who—?”

“The girl from the music hallway. I saw you with her. I heard you and Gareth talking.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. “You were listening to us?”

“You’re hiding something,” she said, tears threatening to fall. “And I’m not stupid.”

“It’s not what you think—”

“Then what is it, Eddie?” she asked, voice breaking. “Because I don’t even know if you want to be with me anymore.”

He stepped forward, panic in his eyes. “I do. I swear I do. Just please let me explain.”

She stared at him, heart pounding, jaw clenched.

And then she shook her head. “I can’t do this.”

She turned and walked toward the door.

“Y/N,” Eddie called after her, desperate. “Wait”

She didn’t stop.

And behind her, his voice cracked like something shattering.

𓆩❤︎𓆪

Part 2

Definitely give me feedback. I'm new to writing. Also, I might write a part two I'm not sure yet but I more than likely will

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fandom

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p0orbaby · 16 days ago

Note

alexia and teacher reader where reader helps teach english to kids in school and she gives alexia english homework to help her with her interviews. but alexia doesn’t do her hw or lessons and gets no hugs or kisses until she does it

“Have you done your homework?” you ask, arms crossed, one brow lifted like you do with the Year 5s when they’re clearly hiding a stolen gel pen in their pencil case.

Alexia does not look up from the fridge. “No.”

You stare. “No?”

“No.”

You wait.

She turns around, yoghurt in hand, the picture of casual rebellion. “I had training. And a shoot. And then I was tired.”

You fold your arms tighter. “You promised you’d do at least two exercises from the grammar sheet. Just two, Alexia.”

“I know.” She spoons yoghurt into her mouth like it’s a defence strategy. “But it’s hard. You give me the boring ones.”

“They’re beginner-level past tense.”

“They’re stressful.”

You blink at her.

She blinks back.

Then you say it, calm and deadly: “No kisses until you finish them.”

Alexia freezes mid-chew. “Sorry?”

“No kisses,” you repeat, turning back to the living room with a casual shrug. “Or hugs. Or touching of any kind, actually.”

“You’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

She follows you, scandalised. “That’s emotional blackmail.”

“No,” you say, dropping onto the sofa with a very teacher-like air of finality. “It’s consequences.”

She stares at you like you’ve announced the death of fun. “You’re so British sometimes.”

“And you,” you say sweetly, “are a grown woman who refuses to do three lines of English homework.”

She stands there for a solid ten seconds, arms hanging uselessly at her sides. “Can I bribe you?”

“You can bribe yourself with kisses. After you conjugate ten verbs.”

A long pause.

Then, dramatically, like it’s cost her a limb: “Fine.”

Fifteen minutes later, she stomps into the living room with the worksheet in hand.

You take it like a strict examiner. “Let’s see.”

Her handwriting is suspiciously neat. You scan the page. There’s one correction you make, gently, with a red pen—purely for dramatic effect.

She watches you like a dog waiting for a treat.

You hand it back. “Better.”

“So…?”

You smile. “Five kisses. One for every correct answer.”

She practically leaps onto the sofa, straddling your lap and grinning like a lunatic. “You’re such a menace, you know that?”

“And yet,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth, “you did the work.”

She kisses you back, all smug and warm and beautiful. “Maybe you should give me detention next.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Oh, I’m tempting you,” she grins, trailing kisses down your neck now. “Next time I forget my homework, you can punish me properly.”

You roll your eyes—but you’re laughing. And kissing her back. And already thinking up her next worksheet.

With added difficulty.

And a reward system.

#alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso #woso x reader

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formulakracing · 5 months ago

Text

“you better.” — t.w.

pairing -> female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count -> idk y’all, my bad

warnings -> boss x employee dynamic, slight power imbalance, angst, cursing, gg being a little bit of a brat, toto being down bad (he would do anything for his woman, and he means it!), sexual innuendos, yadayadayada

a/n -> hiiiii it's me! i'm back with another gg x toto installment. i'm sorry if the writing is not my best, i've been a little rusty. this fic was a request idea sent to me a few weeks ago. anon, this one is for you! i hope y'all enjoy reading about them! <3

"god fucking damnit!"

blood roars in his ears as her helmet collides against the wall, forming a sizable dent. paint chips flutter to the floor, the figure inhaling a sharp breath as curses roll from her tongue, the driver pacing back and forth.

"fuck, fuck, fuck!"

the figure's jaw clenches as her arm sweeps along the nearest table, sending items flying in her wake.

all right, that was it.

the final straw.

time to intervene.

"you need to cut it out. you're acting like a child. you of all people know tantrums get you nowhere."

at his sentiment, her head swivels, nothing but pure, fiery rage flickering about in her stare. strands of hair are plastered to her forehead, her lip curling into a sneer.

"your orders cost me two positions. it cost me a podium this weekend. i think i deserve to be a little upset about it."

"it's only the beginning of the season, love," toto wolff tuts, folding his arms across his chest, "you have time to make up for it. you have so much time to win the title."

at his statement, she pauses, her brows furrowing together. he can sense her fury dissolving by the second, her rigid muscles relaxing as her shoulders slump. silence creeps in as she crosses over to the couch, curling up in the fetal position.

to put it lightly, it was a tough opening weekend in melbourne.

not only did she have to deal with the wake of the loss to max, she had difficulty familiarizing herself with the new car. the media was in a frenzy, circling around like vultures every single time she moved or spoke. fuck, she could barely even breathe without a microphone close by.

toto couldn't imagine how draining it must have been to deal with it all. there was an instance over the weekend where a reporter inquired about their sex life. following that, there were numerous questions involving when he was going to propose, when they were planning on having kids, and if she would retire if they had children.

she executed a brilliant drive during qualifying, managing to snag the third position on the grid, just behind lando and max. if all went according to plan, she would be able to push past lando at the start of the race, and be able to battle it out with max for the victory.

at the start of the race, she drove beautifully. she was able to surge ahead and get past both max and lando, sailing into the first position.

it was going perfectly until lap twenty-three, where there was a mishap with the steering. following the error came a miscommunication with strategy. although toto knew the tires would last a few more laps, it was not his call to bring her in to the pits.

the pit crew was not quite ready, fumbling with two of the tires. it was a painfully slow stop, her radios reflecting exactly how toto felt about the fiasco.

the call for the early pit ultimately cost her three positions, which ended up crushing her hopes of a podium on opening weekend.

following the race, she exchanged some heated words with the media. something along the lines of, "fuck off or you're going to feel that boom mic up your ass." of course, that sent social media into a frenzy.

so, when she decided to release some pent up emotions in her driver's room after the race, toto let her.

he couldn't blame her, really. this weekend was an absolute shit show.

yet, he knew they had to move forward from it. the helmet could be replaced. the dent in the wall could be patched. the team strategy could be tweaked.

there was nothing he wanted more than to just wrap her up in his arms, bringing her tightly against his chest. he ached to just hold her, murmuring all of the reassurances she needed to hear. he yearned to just pepper her beautiful face with endless kisses, just to hear that melodic giggle ring in his ears.

he couldn't though.

at least, not yet.

the team principal stays put, waiting until she gives him the cue.

it wouldn’t be verbal. it would be the way her body would shift toward him, inviting him over. it would be the way her arms would droop, begging to be held.

it wouldn’t be too much longer. any minute now.

as expected, she practically sinks into the couch, pleading for some sort of comfort.

there it was, that cue he was desperately waiting for.

he strolls over, settling into the cushion next to her, wrapping an arm around her frame.

"i-i just wanted to get a head start," there's a tug at his heart as her voice falters, "i wanted to prove to everyone that i could compete with max this time. i just wanted to win a fucking race after what happened last ye-"

"my love," the team principal exhales, a tender hand connecting with her back, just between her shoulder blades, "you have to keep your head up. you are not a failure just because you didn't finish on that podium. you are not defined by what happened last season. things are different now, so much more different."

in the light, he catches the gleam of a tear as it rolls down her cheek, "i just know they're all talking about me. they want nothing more than to see me lose. i just wanted to prove them wrong."

"we have so much time do that," his voice is barely a murmur, "we will make you a champion, my sweet girl. don't worry about what they all think. focus on me. focus on us. focus on how we can correct our mistakes."

the tears are flowing now, the streams glistening as she sits up, pressing her body against his. her head nuzzles into his chest, lashes fluttering as his hand begins to roam, gently kneading into her sore muscles.

"i-i'm sorry."

the words are merely a whisper, but toto hears them.

"why are you apologizing, sweet girl?"

"for acting like a brat," she still won't meet his gaze, her eyes fixated on the door, "i shouldn't have thrown my helmet."

the team principal hums, his fingers treading along the zipper of her suit, "it's all right, love. i think you should do it again, actually."

"stop it," she huffs, rolling her eyes, "you just thought my little outburst was hot."

"quite," his mouth ghosts over her ear, "take that anger out on me, actually. you know, you're quite sexy when you're all riled up."

"maybe i will." the corners of her lips twitch, and toto can't help but feel a twinge of satisfaction.

she was fighting a smile, and fuck, was she fighting one hard.

carefully, she swings a thigh over his lap, straddling him as the tip of her nose brushes against his, "maybe i will take my anger out on you, toto. i want you to do something first, though."

in his khakis, he feels his cock stiffen, his throat tightening as she leans in even closer, "w-what is it, my love?"

fuck, he did he loathe how much power she held over him.

she cocks her head, a hand drifting to his cheek. her thumb trails along his cheekbone, relishing the way he completely crumbles under her touch.

"i want you to inform the fia that i will not be participating in any press for the next three races. will you do that for me?”

“sweet girl, you know i can’t do that—“

“please?” he can’t help but notice the way her bottom lip juts out ever so slightly.

all it would take is for her to bat those lashes once, and he would be done for.

and to his dismay, she does just that, “i just can’t handle the press right now. it’s too much and—“

“consider it done, my love. a statement will be out by the morning.”

“good boy,” she purrs, pressing her forehead against his, “you’re the best.”

“anything you want or need, it will be handled. i can promise you that. i will do everything in my power to make sure that you become champion.”

her lips press against his, a shiver running down his spine as she smirks, rolling her hips. it takes everything in his power to stifle a groan as her fingers delve into the waistband of his khakis, his cock throbbing.

she has him right where she wants him, but he doesn’t mind.

not. at. all.

she was his princess, after all.

and what his princess wanted, she got.

it only takes four words for him to come undone, any coherent thoughts slipping from his mind as her hand wraps around his shaft, his breaths coming out in pants.

“you better, toto wolff.”

#toto wolff x reader #toto wolff #toto wolff x y/n #formula 1 #f1 #formula 1 x reader #f1 x reader #toto wolff smut #alkaline: female!driver x toto wolff #alkaline #f1 fanfiction #formula 1 fanfiction

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parfaitblogs · 4 months ago

Text

i have more than enough ❀ s. reid x reader

in which the holiday season is achingly difficult to get through, when you are spencer reid, who believes he is no longer allowed to enjoy them.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: hurt/comfort tags: established relationship. post prison!reid. word count: 2k a/n: and for my final act? the parfaitblogs special (post prison reid fic to a searows song). merry christmas from australia because it IS the 25th here!!! this is the end of my christmas advent calendar!! i had soo much fun writing these stories thank you to all that requested ♡

❄︎ advent calendar masterlist

He does not deserve a Christmas.

Perhaps that is the only thing that runs through Spencer Reid's mind the second the Halloween decor filtered out of the stores, reindeer mugs entered them; while candy canes and Santa hats adorned every little item, and Christmas trees lit up every corner of every mall.

No matter what state he traveled to, he couldn't escape the festivities of the holiday season. He's pretty sure he's the only person who wants to.

You waited for him. He feels immensely guilty for just how much waiting you've had to do all year. Waiting for him to go to trial, waiting for him to get out of prison, waiting for him to let you in again.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

You're waiting again. A Christmas tree that blandly sits empty and undecorated in the corner of your shared apartment; a Christmas roast you aren't sure if you'll even cook takes up too much space in your fridge; gingerbread cookies you promised your friends weeks ago remaining unbaked.

He knew you were upset about it. His Christmas loving girlfriend forced to mute the celebrations of her favourite holiday because he couldn't find it in him to be excited about it.

He didn't know how to fix it, really.

You had tried everything to get him back into the Christmas spirit he's had for the past three years you've spent together. Baking with him, picking out the very Christmas tree that leaves the room smelling like a pine forest together, Christmas shopping for the presents he had no will to buy for his family and friends.

Nothing had worked.

"Spence?"

Sitting awkwardly at his — now — very minimally decorated desk, his head lifts from the papers in front of him, eyebrows frowning towards each other as his eyes land on you.

"Hi," he murmurs, putting the pen in his hand down in an effort to give you his full attention. He was getting better at that, these days.

"I finished dinner," you tell him, fingers fidgeting with one another; a recent habit he had noticed you'd developed in the months between his arrest and release. "If you want to come eat."

He doesn't, but then again, he never does. And despite how awful he feels, he feels even more so for what he's putting you through, and the guilt that chews away at him is enough to will him to do small things — like eating — for you.

"Yeah," he breathes out, and stands up from the desk, following you silently over to the meal sitting at the edge of the kitchen bench you had cooked for the two of you.

Silence overwhelmed you two as you ate, as it usually does. Sitting curled up beside one another on the couch, sharing a blanket and yet still feeling so distant from each other regardless.

"Did you call your mom?" you ask him, and his fork pauses in the plate.

Right. It's Christmas. The time for calling family members and sharing love for them during this supposed to be joyous time.

"Not yet," he shakes his head. "I'll... get to it. Before Christmas is over."

"You have a week," you remind him, though it isn't to be passive aggressive at all. You genuinely wonder if he's forgotten the date of Christmas that has quickly crept up on you both.

"I know."

You stare silently at the coffee table after a short nod to his words, and you wrack your brain for things to say, just to keep him talking.

"Can I give you your gift before Christmas day?"

He lifts his head, and you feel his eyes transfix on you.

"If you want."

You want him to want it too, but you aren't sure if that's a reasonable wish anymore.

"I do," you nod, and quickly finish up your food, before you stand, and leave the room altogether.

He places his plate next to yours on the coffee table — he'd remember to get to cleaning those later — just as you return, a square shaped brown paper gift in your hands, a purple ribbon tied in a bow around it.

"You got me a square?" he asks you, and your heart warms at the teasing tone in his voice. He's trying.

"Open it," you press, instinctively shaking his shoulder with both hands pressed up against it.

"Okay, okay."

He's meticulous in pulling the plain wrapping paper off, and you almost want to open the gift for him.

"Did you make this?" he asks you as he carefully pulls the square apart in front of your eyes, though he does already know the answer before you have a chance to start nodding your head.

A Victorian Puzzle Purse situates delicately in his hands. Hands that pull it apart ever so slowly, taking note of every little drawn and painted detail on the paper, opening it up to a letter that he spent two minutes reading through — confirming that he was not only reading it once through.

"Do you like it?" you ask him, almost hesitantly.

"Victorian Puzzle Purse's were how lovers would communicate for Valentine's day," he says, instead of answering your question directly, as he neatly folds it back up into the intricate origami square it was originally when he pulled it out. "Sorry," he quickly adds, his eyes landing back on you. "That wasn't an answer. I do. I like it a lot."

"I know it isn't much, but I don't want to overwhelm you with gifts this Christmas. I'm honestly not even expecting anything big. We can just order food in and watch movies or something this year, if you'd prefer. You just have to promise me you'll at least let me put mistletoe up outside our bedroom, because it's kind of become tradition and... sorry."

He's staring at you, half dumbfounded, half in awe, as you realise you were rambling instead of sitting in the moment of him enjoying something seasonal, but you can't even find it within yourself to be frustrated at it. For he is letting a small smile grace his lips, and you're leaning forwards with a smile of your own, and for a second or more, he is not the shattered prison man, and you are not his distanced girlfriend.

"You can put mistletoe outside our bedroom," he says, and you're breaking into an even wider grin.

"Really?"

"It's tradition."

You light up enough for there to be no need for a decorated Christmas tree in your apartment anymore, and you're threading your fingers through his hand to drag him up off the couch.

Your gift to him remains on the coffee table as you lead him over to your bedroom door, prompting him to stay still, as you disappear to find the piece of familiar fake greenery.

"Mistletoe!" you present it to him, and he takes it from you habitually, using the pin you also hand him and pinning it above your heads on the doorframe.

"I think we need to buy a new one," he says, hands dropping back by his side. His eyes are trained on you, but your own head is still tilted back, inspecting the faux plant.

"I think we need to buy a real one," you answer conclusively, finally dropping your gaze to him.

"Next year," he confirms. "Tradition complete?"

You shake your head. "The tradition ends with a kiss."

Hesitation follows your words, and you instantly regret them.

It wasn't that you didn't kiss, or weren't intimate in any way. It's simply that it was on occasion now, and almost always motivated by something more important than a silly mistletoe tradition.

"It's okay," you cover your unwelcome disappointment with a smile.

He ignores your reassurance. "It does end in a kiss, you're right."

"But we don't have to," you mumble.

"Yes," his hands encase your waist to do nothing more than to pull you closer to him. "We do."

"Not if you don't want to."

"Did I say that?"

You open your lips to respond, but the words die on your tongue.

"What did I do to make you think I don't want to kiss you, angel?" he's frowning now, and you feel guilt settle in your chest.

"Nothing, really. We just—um—don't kiss... as much. Anymore. Which is fine, by the way, and I can understand it. You're under no moral obligation to kiss me. Obviously."

His frown deepens. "I think we're experiencing a bout of miscommunication."

"What?"

"I thought you didn't want to kiss me," he explains, and suddenly, you're mirroring the confusion on his face.

"Why would I not want to kiss you?" you ask him, incredulously.

His shoulders slump at the question, and you force yourself not to fill the silence that follows.

"Prison," he replies, quietly. "I didn't think you'd really even want me once I got out of prison. You don't initiate anything anymore, either. I just assumed."

"I didn't initiate anything because I was waiting for you to initiate stuff."

"I can see that now."

"I didn't want to rush you," you tell him, as earnestly as possible. "I know prison was a lot, and you still haven't told me everything that happened, but I wanted you to not rush yourself. Or... us, I guess."

He swallows the lump of emotion that lodges in his throat. "I thought you were disappointed in me. Or—well, scared of me."

"No," your heart shatters, and you're sure he can hear it in your voice as your hands instantly cup his cheeks, fingers brushing over his cheekbones. "No, oh my God, Spencer."

"You shouldn't use the lord's name in vain. It's Christmas," he jokes, weakly. The smile you give him is weak, too.

"I was terrified for you. I was so worried about you in prison, and—and what they were doing to you in there. But never of you. Not a single part of me will ever be scared of you, sweet boy."

"I'm scared of me," he whispers, and his voice cracks in a way that has tears welling in your eyes. "I think differently, you know."

"And that automatically means I should be scared of you? Or makes you any less deserving of love?"

His silence is enough of a response.

"I love you," you settle on telling him. "No matter what baggage you came back to me with. You deserve so much love, and I hate that you have been through so much. So much so that you believe yourself undeserving. You are not. You never will be. I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you, if I must. Or as long as you will let me."

"Forever," he replies, and you feel his hands close over your own on his face. "I will let you forever."

"Thank God. It'd be kind of embarrassing if I say all this and then you were to break up with me tomorrow," you say, and his cheeks stretch beneath your hands as he huffs a laugh.

"I won't break up with you."

"I wouldn't let you, anyways."

"Oh really?" his hands slide down to your waist once more.

"Yeah," you confirm with a small nod, your own hands dropping to his neck, interlacing behind it, as you draw his head closer to yours. "You're stuck with me."

"I have not a word of complaint," he replies, and he's close enough that you feel the words tattoo your lips. "I love you."

And then he's kissing you, and there is an overwhelming amount of neglected feelings you had been missing poured into you, from his soul to yours.

It was a kiss so unlike what you had grown used to in recent months. Fingers dug into your waist as a violent reminder of what you mean to him, and for the first time since May, you believed it.

When he goes to pull away, you barely give him time to get air before you're chasing his lips again, and he tugs you impossibly closer with a laugh that vibrates against your face.

You kiss him until your hands go numb behind his neck, and your legs begin to ache, and your waist is sure to have bruised in the shapes of his fingertips. Chest heaving and eyes full of more adoration than you think one human can have for another, you meet his gaze once more.

"Tradition complete."

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

#lia's advent calendar ♡#lia’s fics ♡#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer x reader #spencer x self insert #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader angst #spencer reid hurt/comfort #spencer reid x reader hurt/comfort

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beiasluv · 1 year ago

Text

— op81, cs55, cl16, ls2

a/n: spent so long on the graphic 💀

yourinsta

liked by mclaren, landonorris and 49,183 others

yourinsta call me pitbull cuz I’m mr worldwide 🤫 (+🇦🇺🇪🇸🇲🇨🇺🇸)

view all 729 comments

landonorris coppiers

yourinsta you’re my og 🫶

landonorris just og? 😔

username I swear if oscar gives us nothinggg

username MY BABY IS SHY OKAY?

username GOOD DAY TO BE A LOGAN SARGEANT FAN 🦅🦅🦅🦅

username I could only pray the Spanish flag is for Fernando 😩

— oscar piastri

Nervously sipping on his emotional support orange juice. Maybe too much nervous sipping.

“So, what’s your type?”

“My girlfriend?”

“Tell her she’s mine too.”

“WOw, will do.”

Cheeks turning red, munching on the fries like a little chipmunk he is.

“I mean– I have three sisters so…”

“That’s a green flag.”

“Thank you?” a piece of chicken in, a smile comes out. “That’s it?”

“Maybe if he’s…Australian, maybe.” you shrugged.

“Yeah.”

“And if he’s…wait. what sign are you?”

“Don’t know..I think it’s kinda nonsense.”

“That’s a red flag.”

“Sorry?” cheeky.

The orange juice was left unattended for a minute. Good sign. Chuckles were still evident.

“Let’s get serious here…” shifting in your seat.

“Yeah.”

“You drive for a living?”

“Yeah, I go around in circles ‘nd stuff,” juice pause. “I could drive you around Melbourne..if you’d want to–”

“And you’ll take me back by eight? Maybe offering your hand as well?”

“Yeah,” squinting face. “I could do that.”

“Lovely.”

— carlos sainz

Does that thing with his eyes, bending down to take the fries in…while keeping an intense eye contact.

“Smooth operator, you like that song?”

“Everyone favorite song no?”

“Hard choice.” pausing your fries mid air. “Spanish songs that I have no idea what they’re talking about could be up there.”

“Really? Tell me one.”

“The one from fast and furious.”

“A lot of them,” throwing his head back. “Can you sing it for me?”

“Asking for me to sing already. You’re in a hurry Carlos?” a sip of your Diet Coke. “Fast Five?”

“Eh..Danza Kuduro?”

“How could I know?” you shrugged. “What’s the song about anyways?”

“Something like…dancing…er…with tight ass.”

“Make sense.”

Looking confused as ever with that big, brown eyes. Mouth agape and shut every time few seconds, curling into a smile most of the time.

“So you’re still looking for job next year?”

“Huh?”

“Lewis Hamilton? Looking for job?”

“Eh..” leaned back in his seat. “Could be. Are you offering?”

“I’m a pretty busy girl..”

“Really? How busy?”

“So you’re up for it? That’s fast.”

“I’ll have to talk to my manager,” raising his eyebrow. “What is your requirement?”

“A Ferrari driver.”

“Sure.”

— charles leclerc

Trying to not laugh his ass off every five seconds or just completely blanks out. Chicken tasted good though.

“Charles, I have to ask you one thing.”

“Yeah?”

“How do you pronounce your last name?”

“I don’t..I don’t care, really.” Shrugging his shoulders. “Charles. Le. Clare.”

“Hm…maybe just use my last name instead, it’s easier.”

“I– yeah?”

“What?”

His chicken was pretty cleaned up the first few minutes. Plenty of confused chuckles.

“Do you think you are a committed person?”

“I…I…it’s a hard question no?” he put his hand together, in an Italian – sorry, Monegasque way. “I like to say I am.”

“I could tell.”

“Really? How?”

“Your contract with Ferrari.”

— logan sargeant

He was used to burger and fries but maybe he could just tolerate chicken and fries for your pretty company.

“What’s your ideal date?”

“Hm..definitely chicken shop dates.”

“Really? Where’s best chicken you ever had then?”

“This one.”

“That’s not an option.”

Subtle stares here and there, his cheeks might be hurting from all the grinning though.

“What’s your ideal type?” munching his ketchup-ed fries.

“So you don’t do researches.”

“I am now.”

“You know…starting to have a thing for Americans. You have any recommendations?”

“You could start by going fishing in the Keys with me,” stretched his arms.

“I’m not into fishy things.”

“Just boat rides?”

“I could do that.”

Coke break.

“Your thoughts on frat boys?”

“They’re fine,” he shrugged.

“And you’re not like a..secret member? Is it like a One Direction..thing?”

“Maybe better looking?” smirked. “I could see myself being one if I wasn’t racing.”

“Dreams do come true, Sargeant.”

“Ouch,” clutching his chest. “Ah– well– Maybe this other dream could come true as well?”

“You being better looking than One Direction?”

tell me who should be in chicken shop dateee 😩😩

– @namgification @jsjcue @c-losur3

Today’s a great day to take care of yourself!!

#formula 1 #f1 x reader #f1 #f1 imagines #charles leclerc imagines #lando norris x reader #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #logan sargent x reader #logan sargeant

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27spoons · 3 months ago

Text

Cologne | Natalie Scatorccio

summary: Natalie shows up at your window. When was the last time she showed up without an agenda? You can't remember.

pairing: natalie scatorccio x afab!reader (no pronouns used)

warnings: smut(afab!reader), angst in my pants

wc: 2440

ao3

TAP

…

TAP TAP TAP

…

TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP—

You throw the blinds of the window open, coming face-to-face with a drunken Natalie Scatorccio, her knuckles stilling against the glass pane of your window.

"Heyyyyyy—" The blonde grins through the window, pulling her hand back to awkwardly wave, "Can I… uh…" She gestures to the window.

You stare blankly at her for a solid fifteen seconds.

"It's three in the morning, Natalie."

Nat makes a face and shrugs in response, "Please?"

With a heavy, reluctant sigh, you unlatch your window, and Nat immediately stumbles into your bedroom, falling face-first onto your carpet. "Really?" You ask flatly, staring down at her, "You reek of smoke and booze, by the way."

She grunts at that, pushing herself off the floor, "Don't I always?" Brushing imaginary dust off the lapel of her leather jacket, she takes stock of your room. "Room looks the same."

You roll your eyes. "You were here a week ago, Natalie. Of course, it looks the same."

Nat shoots you a glare as she takes off her leather jacket, seemingly making herself at home despite you not offering. "Whatever. My room looks different every night." She throws her jacket onto a desk chair, "I like that yours is… stationary, or whatever." She pauses at the foot of your bed, and you already know what she's here for. You don't have to ask—it's not the first time, and it won't be the last. "It's nice, I guess."

But that catches you off-guard. "What? What do you mean… nice?"

She shrugs, hands in the pockets of her jeans as she glances around your room again, "I dunno. It's, like… nice to have something in my life that isn't constantly changing." The words come out so quietly that you aren't even sure if you've heard them, and you have to blink a few times to make sure you didn't hallucinate.

"Are you saying I'm something in your life that stays the same?"

Nat scowls at that and crosses her arms. "No. I-I'm saying your room stays the same. This is just… you're just…" She sighs, frown ever-present on her face. "Whatever."

"Whatever." You parrot with a sigh, running a hand through your hair as you sit back on the bed, "I'd ask why you were here, but I think I know the answer."

"What? You think I'm only here for the sex? Her lip twitches at the comment, but there's a lack of heat behind her words. Nat knows what this looks like. She isn't blind. She shows up, you two fuck, then she leaves. When you two interact at school, you never talk about what happens behind your bedroom door.

You don't comment on it.

She doesn't comment on it either when moving to stand before you, looking down with a tense jaw. "You still want this, yeah?" Nat asks softly, starkly contrasting how tense she appears right now. "Because we don't—"

You shake your head immediately, fisting your hands into her shirt, "No, no. I didn't say that. I just…" A sigh leaves your lips. You've never been good at saying no to Nat. "Yeah. I want this."

Nat doesn't hesitate at that, leaning down to kiss you, slotting her lips against yours as she moves to sit in your lap. Her mouth is warm, wet, and eager against yours. With her arms wrapping around your neck and fingers tangled into your hair, she grinds herself down against you, chest meeting yours with a sharp gasp.

Your tongue presses into her mouth when her lips part and battles for dominance, a struggle she quickly ends when she pulls back to remove her shirt, leaving her clad in a black sports bra. You'd open your mouth to say something, but she's pulling back completely to discard her pants, and you realise that she has no intention of taking things slow—not that she ever has.

Your clothes are discarded just as quickly as hers are, flying somewhere on your floor, and Nat is finding her way down to your bed and making herself comfortable. "C'mere." She asks breathlessly, reaching out to grab your face and pull it back to hers.

There's a sense of familiarity behind the kiss, something that only comes with knowing someone as intimately as you know Nat, even if she'd deny it to her dying breath.

Either way, the kiss is wet and messy, with strings of saliva connecting your lips every time the kiss breaks for a moment. Your knee finds its way between her thighs, pressing against her center, and she doesn't hesitate to grind down against the offering.

It's a ritual as old as time, and it's a ritual that's become far too familiar the past few months. Your lips leave her mouth to press against her neck, leaving wet kisses across the pale skin as you slide your fingers under the waistband of her panties. Your lips pause in their frantic movement and break into a grin when you feel the slick that's collected in the damp heat.

"Fuck, you're so wet already." You murmur as your fingers part her folds, exploring for a few moments before coming to circle her clit. "And you're already so sensitive, Nat."

"Just been a while." She grunts out, some sort of excuse for how desperate she seems for your touch, but both of you know she doesn't get this way with anyone else.

"Been a week." A kiss to the side of her neck as your fingers begin to find rhythm, "Not that long, really."

Nat doesn't give a reply to that, knowing her voice would come out far too uneven for a sharp comment. There's no denying how eager she seems for your touch, either. Not with the way her hips cant upwards, chasing the feeling your fingers give her as you begin to rock yourself against her thigh.

Your lips resume their wet kisses, leaving dark marks that will fade come morning, occasionally stopping to whisper encouragements into her ear about how good she is for you or that she feels so good underneath your fingers. Nat whines with every word of praise you whisper into her ear, and her nails dig gently into your back as she relaxes under you.

Satisfied with yourself, you move the fingers that have been teasing her clit down, your middle finger teasing her entrance for a few moments before sinking into the wet heat.

Nat gasps, back arching off the bed and nails digging further into your back. "Yeah—" She breathes out, "More—"

You click your tongue at that, "Maybe I wanna hear you beg for it, Nat."

The blonde whines and slaps uselessly at your back, but she knows it's futile—you've always been this way with her. The teasing that turns her on to no end, even if she'd never admit it. "Fuck, don't be like this."

A low laugh leaves your lips as your finger sits idle inside her, "No. I think you like it when I act like this." A beat, "Beg."

Nat hesitates, pouting as she strongly debates not begging.

But, much like you, she always gives in. "Please." She whines into your ear, "Please. Please. Fuck, please. I'm begging, baby. Please."

Baby. That stupid fucking name that you never could show any resistance to.

You add your ring finger and begin moving your hand the way you've come to learn she loves. "See, there you go. You're such a good girl, you know that?"

While you might be weak to 'baby,' Nat is powerless to being called a 'good girl.'

She keens at your praise, nodding rapidly as her breathing comes out in short pants. "Yeah, yeah, thank you—"

You hum, pressing a kiss to the side of her jaw as you grind your palm down against her clit, and your hips begin to rock against her thigh again. "You're welcome, baby."

"Baby." Nat nods, "Baby, baby, baby—" You don't need her to tell you that she's getting close; you can feel it in the way her pussy starts pulsing around your fingers, seemingly trying to draw them in deeper. "Please." She begs, past the point of caring about her humility.

"No." You shake your head, moving your hips faster and harder against her thigh, "Wait. Wait. I'm… fuck, give me a minute."

The girl whimpers in turn, shaking her head vigorously, "Fuck, I-I can't—"

"You can." You cut her off, palm grinding against her clit again as your fingers brush against her g spot. "You have before, and you will now."

Nat is writhing under you, both pulling away and pushing towards your hand before some sort of fog lifts from her brain, and she realises that she can expedite this process.

Her hand moves to your slick cunt that's been rocking against her thigh and dives her fingers into your folds, fingers quickly finding and circling your clit with reckless abandon.

You groan at the added contact, and your eyes slip shut as your mouth falls open in a silent moan. "Fuck, yeah, Nat. Like that—"

Breathless gasps and pants fill the small room as your fingers continue to fuck in and out of her. Nat's nails bite into your back again, this time hard enough you worry that they'll draw blood. But that's fine—not like it would be the first time it's happened between the two of you.

When Nat's whimpers and whines reach a peak, you finally give her the words she's been seeking for the past two minutes, "Come for me."

And she does. With a whimpered sound you're pretty sure is supposed to be a 'thank you,' she clenches around your fingers and does just as you ask. The sound she makes would probably be called pathetic in any other circumstance, but right now? Well, right now, it might be the hottest thing you've ever heard.

You follow not long after, hips stuttering against her thigh and a low groan spilling from your lips into the taut skin of her neck.

When both of you come down from that high, you retract your fingers from her and move off her thigh, flopping onto the bed beside her with a grunt.

Then, with some random thought in the back of your head, you press your fingers against her lips, "C'mon." You murmur, "Clean off my fingers for me."

Nat looks at you in shock, genuinely surprised you're asking this when you never have before, but her lips part all the same. Your fingers press against her tongue, and she grabs your wrist while keeping eye contact (despite the furious blush that colours her cheeks) as she proceeds to clean your fingers of the mess she made.

"Good fucking girl." You breathe out in approval, jaw falling slightly slack at the feeling of her tongue sliding between your fingers, cleaning each one thoroughly.

At the praise, her eyes squeeze shut with a sound you swear is a whimper.

When you pull your hand back, her eyes flutter open, but not before you smear saliva down her neck and the top of her chest.

"That's gross." She mumbles petulantly, unable to meet your eyes, face still coloured like a tomato.

"Nah, it's hot." You grin down at her, gently turning her face to look into her eyes. Your expression softens as you see the look in them. "You're leaving." You say quietly, a statement rather than a question.

Nat exhales softly through her nose, grabbing your wrist and pulling your hand away from her face, "I… I need to get back home." She lies, and she's never been a good liar.

"Yeah." You say quietly, dropping your hand back on the bed. "You… you don't wanna even… stay for another round?" A tense laugh leaves your throat, and Nat frowns uncomfortably. "...you don't wanna stay the night?" You add on as an afterthought, disappointment lacing your tone.

"You know that's not a good idea." Nat whispers in return, "I… I can't."

"No." You say, "You won't, Nat. There's a difference."

The blonde's jaw tenses as she sits up on your bed, legs swinging over the edge as she looks for her clothes in the dark. "What does it matter if I won't? We aren't together."

Her words sting, even if they're true, and you watch her get dressed from where you lay on your bed, now feeling far too spacious for just one person. "I… I know." You murmur, "But it would just be nice if—"

"I'm not that type of person." She cuts you off as she pulls her pants up, "I thought you knew that when this started."

You shrink further into yourself, "I just thought that, as friends—"

"With benefits." She cuts you off, "Friends with benefits. Not dating, not 'seeing each other,' just fucking now and then." You swear you can see her walls going up the longer she speaks, "This is just sex, nothing more."

"Nothing more." You repeat, grabbing your own shirt from the floor next to the bed, "Yeah."

For a moment, you think you see her falter, actions slowing as she puts her leather jacket on. Some delusional part of you thinks she'll stay, that she'll leave more than just the scent of her fucking dollar store cologne on your pillows, but it's gone before you have the chance to ruminate on it.

"Yeah." She agrees with a grunt, walking back over to your window. "I'll… see you in class tomorrow." And then she's gone, like a ghost in the night, hopping through your window and onto the grass below with a soft thud, much more graceful than when she came in.

You walk over to your window, locking it shut as you watch Nat walk off into the night, digging her box of smokes from her pocket and bringing one to her lips just before she walks out of view. You tug your curtains shut, trying to block the memory of her leaving from your mind and fall back into your bed, pressing your nose into the pillow where she once resided.

Cigarette smoke, cheap booze, shitty cologne, and something that just smells like Nat.

You'll hate yourself in the morning for letting this happen again. Hell, you hate yourself right now for letting it happen again.

But her smell against your pillow brings you some weird sense of calm, and you know you'll let her in the next time she knocks at your window and every time that follows.

You've never had a backbone when it comes to Nat.

You doubt you ever will.

a/n: van x reader fic next. or crush. one of the two. either way, they will come out before anything else does

#platter (requested)#nat scatorccio #natalie scatorccio #natalie scatorccio x reader #natalie scatorccio x you #nat scatorccio x reader #nat scatorccio x you #natalie scatorccio smut #nat scatorccio smut #yellowjackets x you #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets smut #from the cutlery drawer #ladles (fics/blurbs)#steak knives (nsfw)

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gottencents · 3 months ago

Text

Casual Pt.2 - Yu Jimin

part one. | part three.

pairing. mean girl!karina x star soccer player!reader

synopsis. at Changryeo University, Yu Jimin or just Karina is the ultimate “mean rich girl” — popular, wealthy, and always seeking ways to stay on top. After setting her sights on Sunghoon, the charming soccer captain, Karina shifts her focus to Y/N, an up-and-coming soccer star with an unexpected breakout season. Unlike the polished Sunghoon, Y/N is more of an outsider who got by on talent but doesn’t fit the typical college elite mold. Realizing that Y/N is the only one who doesn’t care about the social hierarchy, Karina proposes a deal: they’ll fake date so Karina can boost her popularity, while Y/N gets protection from relentless attention. Reluctantly, Y/N agrees, and the two navigate a world of social manipulation, only to find that their fake relationship might lead to something more real than either expected.

Life didn’t slow down after the gala. If anything, it picked up.

Y/N had never cared much for gossip, but now she was at the center of it. Whispers followed her everywhere—on the soccer field, in the hallways, even in her own dorm. She couldn’t go a full hour without hearing Karina’s name mentioned in some capacity.

“Did you see the way Karina was looking at her?”

“They actually look good together, I won’t lie.”

“I heard Karina ditched someone else at the gala just to be with Y/N.”

None of it made sense. Y/N didn’t do the whole socialite thing—she played soccer, went to class, and tried not to overcomplicate her life. But now, she was part of a spectacle. And the worst part? Karina didn’t seem fazed by it at all.

If anything, she leaned into it.

Y/N had expected the whole PR relationship to be something manageable—occasional public interactions, staged appearances, nothing too deep. But Karina was relentless. She found excuses to be around Y/N at every opportunity.

She’d slip into the seat next to her at lunch, steal bites of her food like they were an old married couple, casually wrap an arm around her shoulder in the middle of campus as if it were second nature.

Y/N, for her part, didn’t know how to handle it.

One afternoon, she was heading to the library when Karina materialized beside her.

“Where are we going?” Karina asked, as if she had been part of the plan all along.

Y/N sighed. “We are not going anywhere. I’m going to study.”

Karina hummed, unfazed. “I’ll join.”

Y/N stopped in her tracks, turning to face her. “Do you even need to study?”

Karina smirked. “I don’t, but you’re far more entertaining than my usual plans.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“It is now,” Karina said, looping her arm through Y/N’s with a victorious gleam in her eyes. “C’mon, humor me.”

Y/N let out a long-suffering sigh but didn’t pull away.

It was the same every day. Karina inserting herself into Y/N’s life with ease, chipping away at the space Y/N had carefully built around herself.

The worst part? It wasn’t as annoying as it should’ve been.

The library was quiet, save for the occasional rustling of pages and the soft tapping of fingers against laptop keyboards. Y/N sat at a corner table, deep in her notes, trying to ignore the weight of Karina’s gaze on her.

“Why are you staring at me?” Y/N muttered without looking up.

Karina, seated across from her, rested her chin on her palm, a small smile playing on her lips. “Just thinking.”

Y/N glanced up warily. “Thinking about what?”

Karina tilted her head slightly. “How different we are.”

Y/N scoffed. “Wow. That deep, huh?”

Karina chuckled, then leaned forward, lowering her voice. “No, but really. You don’t like attention, and I live in it. You keep people at arm’s length, and I let them think they know me. You run from things, and I run straight into them.”

Y/N paused, twirling her pen between her fingers. “That was poetic.”

Karina smirked. “I have my moments.”

Y/N looked down at her notes, trying to focus, but her mind was elsewhere. There was something about the way Karina said things—like she was peeling back layers one at a time, seeing more than she let on.

And Y/N wasn’t sure if she was ready for that.

It became a pattern. Karina showing up unannounced. Y/N pretending to be annoyed. Karina staying anyway.

One night, Y/N had barely kicked off her cleats after a late practice when a knock came at her door.

She sighed, already knowing who it was.

“Karina, it’s almost midnight,” Y/N groaned as she opened the door.

Karina, looking effortlessly put together as always, leaned against the doorframe with an easy smile. “And?”

Y/N sighed, stepping aside. “Just get in.”

Karina walked in like she belonged there, settling on Y/N’s bed.

Y/N leaned against her desk, arms crossed. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Karina shrugged. “I was bored.”

Y/N raised a brow. “So your solution was to bother me?”

“Obviously.” Karina smirked before patting the spot beside her. “Sit.”

Y/N hesitated but eventually relented, sitting on the edge of the bed.

For a moment, there was silence. A rare, comfortable kind.

Then Karina spoke, her voice softer than usual. “Does it bother you?”

Y/N glanced at her. “What?”

Karina looked at her then, something unreadable in her expression. “That everyone thinks this is real.”

Y/N opened her mouth, then closed it. She hadn’t really thought about it like that.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I mean, it’s weird, sure. But… it’s not as bad as I thought it’d be.”

Karina hummed, watching her carefully. “Not as bad, huh?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Don’t let it get to your head.”

Karina chuckled but didn’t push. Instead, she leaned back, stretching out on the bed like she had all the time in the world.

“You know,” Karina mused, “for someone who claims to hate this arrangement, you don’t push me away.”

Y/N exhaled through her nose. “Maybe I’m just getting used to you.”

Karina’s lips curved into a knowing smile. “Good.”

Y/N turned away, hoping Karina didn’t notice the warmth creeping up her neck.

Because the truth was—she didn’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the way, Karina Yu had stopped feeling like just an obligation.

And that realization was dangerous.

It wasn’t obvious at first.

Not in the way Karina always found her in a crowded room.

Not in the way Y/N started looking for Karina before realizing it.

Not in the way Karina’s teasing had softened, or the way Y/N had stopped resisting when Karina pulled her closer in public.

But it was there.

A shift.

A quiet, undeniable shift in whatever this was.

And Y/N didn’t know what scared her more—the fact that she noticed it, or the fact that she didn’t mind.

Days turned into weeks, and whatever this thing was between Y/N and Karina—it wasn’t fading. If anything, it was intensifying.

It was in the way Karina’s eyes always found Y/N in a crowded room, lingering just a little too long before she looked away. The way their casual touches never really felt casual, fingers brushing a second longer than necessary, an arm draped over Y/N’s shoulder with a grip that felt possessive rather than playful.

And it was in the way Karina had started showing up more.

At first, Y/N thought it was just part of the act—maintaining their public image, reinforcing their “relationship” so people kept talking. But Karina was there even when there was no audience to perform for. When Y/N left soccer practice exhausted, Karina would be waiting, leaning against the fence with a smug smirk and an iced coffee she’d pretend was a thoughtful gift rather than a blatant bribe.

When Y/N studied in the library, Karina found her, sitting across from her without a word, pretending to read but spending more time kicking Y/N’s foot under the table.

And the worst part?

Y/N didn’t mind.

Not really.

She told herself it was fine. That she was used to Karina’s presence now, used to the way she inserted herself into Y/N’s life like she belonged there. But then there were moments—brief, fleeting moments—where Y/N caught herself looking at Karina too long, where she caught herself waiting for Karina’s next move.

And she wasn’t sure what scared her more: that Karina seemed to be doing the same thing, or that Y/N was starting to want her to.

The café was warm, filled with the low hum of conversation and the rhythmic tapping of rain against the windows. Y/N had claimed a seat by the window, her textbook open in front of her, though she wasn’t actually reading. Her mind had drifted somewhere else, too preoccupied to focus on the words in front of her.

Across from her, Karina was scrolling through her phone, chin propped on her hand. They had been sitting like this for almost an hour, saying nothing, just existing in the same space. It was easy now—this quiet thing between them.

Then, without looking up, Karina spoke.

“My mom called earlier.”

Y/N glanced up from her book, arching a brow. “Yeah?”

Karina hummed. “She saw the gala pictures.”

Y/N let out a soft laugh, turning a page she hadn’t actually read. “And?”

Karina finally looked up, a small smirk playing on her lips. “She said you look good next to me.”

Y/N snorted. “Is that supposed to mean something?”

Karina tilted her head slightly, watching Y/N with that unreadable gaze of hers. “It means she approves.”

Y/N huffed a laugh, shaking her head. “Of the fake relationship?”

Karina’s smirk didn’t waver. “Of you.”

Y/N felt something stir in her chest, something unfamiliar and dangerous. She looked down at her book, trying to push it away.

Karina had a way of saying things like they meant nothing when they felt like everything.

And Y/N didn’t know how to deal with that.

The sun had long since set, casting the soccer field in a dim glow from the overhead lights. Most of the team had already left, but Y/N had lingered, taking a few extra shots on goal, running a few more drills until she was exhausted.

By the time she stepped out of the locker room, her body ached in that familiar way that came after pushing herself too hard. She was rolling her shoulders, trying to ease the tension, when she spotted a figure leaning against the fence.

Karina.

Y/N sighed, approaching her. “You know, you don’t have to meet me after practice.”

Karina smiled lazily, completely unbothered. “I know.”

Y/N raised a brow. “Then why are you here?”

Karina tilted her head slightly, like she was debating how much to say. Then she shrugged. “Maybe I like seeing you in your element.”

Y/N let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. “You’re ridiculous.”

Karina grinned. “And yet, here you are, talking to me instead of running away.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but didn’t argue.

Karina stepped closer then, reaching out. Without thinking, Y/N let her.

Karina’s fingers brushed against Y/N’s jaw, her touch light, fleeting. “You have dirt on your face,” she murmured before wiping it away with her thumb.

Y/N felt her breath hitch, her pulse suddenly too loud in her ears.

Karina didn’t move back.

She was close—too close. Close enough that Y/N could see the way her smirk had softened into something else. Something almost unsure.

And for the first time, Y/N wondered—was she just as scared of this as Y/N was?

“Y/N,” Karina said quietly.

Y/N swallowed. “Yeah?”

A beat of silence. Then Karina shook her head, stepping back with an easy smile, as if the moment hadn’t just happened.

“Nothing,” she said. “Walk me back?”

Y/N hesitated but eventually fell into step beside her.

And as they walked, neither of them mentioned how, for a split second, something almost happened.

Something real.

And neither of them knew what to do about it.

The thing about slow changes is that you don’t always notice them as they happen.

Y/N wasn’t sure when exactly it started—when Karina’s presence in her life stopped feeling like an invasion and started feeling like… something else. Something expected. Something constant.

Maybe it was the way Karina always seemed to find her, even when she wasn’t looking. Or the way Y/N had started instinctively saving her a seat at lunch, despite grumbling about it every time Karina smugly took it.

Maybe it was the way Karina’s teasing had softened, how the smirks weren’t always accompanied by sharp words anymore. How sometimes, when she looked at Y/N, she wasn’t performing for an audience.

Or maybe it was Y/N herself—how she had stopped questioning why Karina was around so much and started wondering what it would feel like if she wasn’t.

But then again, acknowledging that thought would mean acknowledging everything else—the way Y/N had started noticing Karina in ways she wasn’t supposed to.

And that? That was dangerous.

The university library was nearly empty at this hour, save for a few overworked students huddled in the corners. Y/N sat at a table in the back, her laptop open but untouched, her fingers absentmindedly tapping against the wood. She was supposed to be working on an assignment, but focus was a lost cause tonight.

A chair scraped against the floor, and Y/N didn’t have to look up to know who it was.

“You know,” Karina said, setting her bag down, “for someone who claims to hate studying, you spend an awful lot of time here.”

Y/N glanced at her, unimpressed. “What are you doing here?”

Karina smirked. “Maybe I missed you.”

Y/N snorted. “Right.”

Karina leaned in, her voice dropping slightly. “Maybe I did.”

Y/N stilled, fingers curling into her hoodie sleeves. It was so easy for Karina to say things like that—to flirt like it was second nature. But sometimes, when no one else was around, Y/N caught glimpses of something different.

Like now.

She looked at Karina, really looked at her, and for once, Karina didn’t look away.

Y/N exhaled, turning her attention back to her laptop. “You’re distracting.”

“I know,” Karina said easily, resting her chin on her hand.

Y/N fought the smile threatening to form. “Not a compliment.”

Karina grinned. “I’ll take it anyway.”

And just like that, the moment passed. But Y/N felt it—something shifting, something lingering.

And she didn’t know if she wanted to stop it.

It had started as a casual hangout, nothing more.

Minjeong had suggested a movie night at her dorm, and somehow, Y/N found herself squished onto a couch between Karina and an armrest, the warmth of Karina’s body too close, too present.

“You’re hogging all the space,” Y/N muttered, shifting slightly.

Karina smirked, not moving an inch. “I’m comfortable.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but didn’t push her away.

The movie played on, but Y/N wasn’t really watching. Not when Karina’s thigh was pressed against hers, not when Karina shifted slightly and their shoulders brushed, not when Y/N became hyperaware of the way Karina’s fingers were tapping lightly against her own knee—a barely-there touch, like a question waiting to be answered.

Y/N didn’t move.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to.

Halfway through the movie, Karina leaned in, her voice soft against Y/N’s ear.

“You okay?”

Y/N turned to look at her, and suddenly, Karina was close. Too close. Close enough that Y/N could see the way her lips parted slightly, the way her breath hitched when Y/N didn’t immediately pull away.

Y/N swallowed. “Yeah.”

Karina didn’t move back. If anything, she seemed to be waiting—for what, Y/N wasn’t sure.

And then, just as quickly as it had happened, Karina pulled away, her usual smirk sliding back into place like a shield.

“Good,” she murmured, eyes flickering back to the screen.

But Y/N knew.

Karina had almost kissed her.

And Y/N had almost let her.

Y/N didn’t bring it up, and neither did Karina.

But things weren’t the same after that night.

Karina was still Karina—still smug, still teasing, still showing up unannounced like she belonged wherever Y/N was. But the space between them felt charged now, like they were both aware of something neither of them wanted to name.

Y/N caught Karina looking at her more often, caught herself doing the same. Their touches lingered, their words carried weight, and yet… neither of them said anything.

And maybe that was the problem.

Maybe Y/N was waiting.

Waiting for Karina to stop hiding behind her smirks and half-truths.

Waiting for herself to stop pretending she wasn’t already in too deep.

Or maybe—just maybe—Karina was waiting, too.

The thing about pretending for too long is that eventually, the lines between what’s real and what’s not start to blur.

For weeks, Y/N had told herself that this was all a game. A strategic move. A PR stunt meant to keep Karina’s reputation polished and Y/N’s own image from spiraling any further.

And yet—

It didn’t feel like a game anymore.

Not when Karina looked at her like that. Not when her fingers brushed against Y/N’s wrist a second too long. Not when Y/N found herself waiting for her messages, for her presence, for something she shouldn’t be waiting for.

And especially not when Karina started looking at her like she was waiting for something too.

But Y/N didn’t push.

Because pushing meant acknowledging, and acknowledging meant risking everything.

And she wasn’t sure she was ready for that.

It had been Minjeong’s idea.

“A small get-together,” she had said. “Nothing crazy.”

Which, of course, was a lie.

By the time Y/N arrived at the off-campus house, the place was packed, music thrumming against the walls, and people were already too deep into their drinks to care about much else.

Y/N wasn’t even sure why she had come. Maybe to clear her head. Maybe because Karina had been acting weird the past few days—texting less, lingering more, her teasing still there but with an edge that felt too sharp.

Or maybe, Y/N realized with a sinking feeling, she had come because she wanted to see her.

She found Karina easily.

She always did.

Across the room, Karina stood surrounded by people, her usual effortless charm on full display. She was laughing at something someone had said, but her eyes—her eyes flickered toward Y/N the moment she stepped in.

For a moment, neither of them moved.

Then Karina excused herself and walked straight toward her.

Y/N’s heart stuttered.

“What are you doing here?” Karina asked, stopping just close enough that their shoes nearly touched.

Y/N shrugged, trying to act casual. “Minjeong invited me.”

Karina’s lips quirked, but there was something in her expression—something unreadable.

“You don’t like parties.”

“I never said that.”

Karina tilted her head. “You don’t like most people.”

“That’s fair.”

A beat of silence.

Then Karina’s gaze flickered over Y/N’s face, her voice softer now. “Then why did you come?”

Y/N swallowed. She wasn’t sure she had an answer that wouldn’t ruin everything.

So instead, she deflected. “Why are you acting weird?”

Karina’s smirk faltered, just for a second. “I’m not.”

“You are.”

Karina’s eyes searched hers, something unspoken hanging between them. “And if I was?”

Y/N hesitated.

Then—

“Karina!”

The moment shattered as someone grabbed Karina’s wrist, pulling her away.

And just like that, the distance was back.

Y/N watched as Karina was dragged into another conversation, another crowd, another moment where she was untouchable

And for the first time, Y/N hated it.

Because she wasn’t sure how much longer she could pretend that this was just a game.

And she wasn’t sure how much longer she could pretend she wasn’t already losing.

Y/N left early. She hadn’t meant to, but something about watching Karina slip so easily into the world she belonged to—a world Y/N wasn’t sure she’d ever fit into—made her stomach twist.

The cool night air was a relief as she walked back to campus, her hands stuffed in her hoodie pockets, her mind racing.

She was halfway back when she heard footsteps behind her.

“Running away?”

Y/N didn’t need to turn to know who it was.

She sighed. “What are you doing?”

Karina fell into step beside her. “Walking you home.”

Y/N glanced at her. “You didn’t have to.”

Karina shrugged. “I wanted to.”

Silence stretched between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was… charged. Heavy.

After a moment, Karina spoke, her voice quieter than before. “Did I do something?”

Y/N frowned. “What?”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Y/N exhaled, looking ahead. “I haven’t.”

“You have.”

Y/N didn’t respond.

Karina stopped walking, and when Y/N realized, she turned back, only to see Karina watching her with an expression that was dangerously close to vulnerable.

“Y/N.”

Y/N clenched her jaw. “What do you want me to say?”

Karina’s eyes flickered, something unreadable in them. “The truth.”

Y/N hesitated.

And for a split second, she thought—maybe, just maybe—she could give it to her.

But then Karina stepped closer, and Y/N’s breath hitched, and the world felt too small, and suddenly, it was too much.

So she did what she always did.

She deflected.

“You’re annoying.”

Karina blinked. Then, unexpectedly, she laughed.

It wasn’t her usual, practiced laugh. It was real. Soft.

Y/N hated how much she liked it.

“Come on,” Karina said, nudging her shoulder. “Let’s go.”

And as they walked side by side through the quiet streets, Y/N knew.

She was already in too deep.

And there was no getting out now.

Mornings were supposed to be Y/N’s time to herself. The crisp air, the rhythmic thud of a soccer ball against the grass, the steady burn in her muscles—it was the one part of the day where she didn’t have to think.

But Karina had a habit of showing up when Y/N least expected it.

Like now.

Y/N was mid-drill, her teammates spread across the field, when she spotted Karina lingering near the bleachers. Dressed in a perfectly coordinated outfit, steaming coffee in hand, she was clearly not here for the sport.

“Dude, your girlfriend’s here again,” her teammate, Jisoo, teased, nudging her as they jogged across the field.

“She’s not my—” Y/N cut herself off.

Because at this point, what was the point?

Jisoo just laughed. “Sure, whatever you say.”

Y/N shook her head, refocusing on the drill. But every time she glanced up, Karina was still there, watching, waiting.

And maybe—just maybe—Y/N started playing a little harder because of it.

By the time practice ended, sweat clung to Y/N’s skin, her breaths steady but heavy. She grabbed her water bottle and made her way toward the bleachers, knowing there was no avoiding Karina now.

“You’re making a habit of this,” Y/N said, wiping her face with a towel.

Karina smirked. “Of what?”

“Showing up. Watching me.”

Karina shrugged, unfazed. “Maybe I just like the view.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the warmth creeping up her neck. “You should get a hobby.”

Karina leaned in just slightly, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Maybe you are my hobby.”

Y/N huffed, taking a long sip from her water bottle before turning toward the locker room. “You need better taste in hobbies.”

But even as she walked away, she could feel Karina’s gaze following her.

And Y/N hated the way it made her heart race.

Later that evening, Y/N found herself in the library, trying—and failing—to focus.

Her econ textbook blurred in front of her, words merging together in a way that made her want to slam her head against the desk.

She sighed, rubbing her temples. Maybe she needed a break.

And just as she thought that, a familiar voice broke through the quiet.

“Are you always this studious, or are you just pretending?”

Y/N looked up, unsurprised to find Karina sliding into the seat across from her, looking as effortlessly put together as ever.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Y/N muttered, flipping a page.

Karina smirked. “I prefer to study people rather than books.”

Y/N snorted. “Sounds like a terrible academic strategy.”

Karina rested her chin on her hand, watching her with a level of attention that made Y/N squirm. “Maybe, but it’s working just fine for me.”

Y/N shook her head, trying—failing—to ignore the way Karina’s gaze made her feel. “Do you ever stop flirting?”

Karina tilted her head, her expression shifting just slightly. “Do you want me to?”

And that—well, that threw Y/N off more than she’d like to admit.

Because she should say yes. She should tell Karina to stop playing this game.

But the truth sat heavy on her tongue, unspoken.

Karina took her silence as an answer, a knowing look flashing in her eyes before she leaned back, stretching. “Relax, Y/N. I’m just keeping things interesting.”

Y/N exhaled, shaking her head. “You exhaust me.”

Karina smirked. “And yet, you still put up with me.”

And that—well, that was the problem, wasn’t it?

It was late by the time they left the library, the campus quiet, the air cool against Y/N’s skin.

They walked side by side, Karina’s presence strangely comfortable despite everything.

Then, without thinking, Y/N reached up, adjusting the strap of Karina’s bag where it had slipped off her shoulder.

It was instinct. A small, thoughtless gesture.

But the moment her fingers brushed against Karina’s shoulder, Karina stilled.

Y/N froze too, suddenly hyper-aware of how close they were, of the way Karina’s breath hitched just slightly.

It was nothing. It was barely a touch.

But it felt like something.

Karina’s eyes flickered to hers, something unreadable behind them.

Y/N should step back. She should make a joke, break the moment, do anything but stand there like an idiot.

But she didn’t.

And neither did Karina.

For the first time, the game didn’t feel like a game.

For the first time, Y/N felt like she was standing at the edge of something dangerous.

And the worst part?

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to step back.

Y/n spent the next few days doing the one thing she was good at—running.

Not just on the soccer field, but from Karina. From the way her presence lingered in Y/N’s mind long after they’d parted ways, from the way her touch—brief, fleeting—still burned against her skin.

So Y/N kept herself busy.

She threw herself into practice, pushed harder in drills, spent extra hours at the gym until her legs ached and her mind was too exhausted to wander. It was easier this way. Easier than acknowledging the shift in the air between her and Karina.

But avoidance only worked for so long.

Because Karina wasn’t the kind of person you could ignore.

She made sure of that.

Y/N barely had a moment to breathe between classes before Karina found her again, sliding into the seat next to her in the lecture hall like she belonged there.

“You’re avoiding me,” Karina said casually, setting down her coffee.

Y/N didn’t even glance at her. “I’m busy.”

Karina hummed, unconvinced. “Busy pretending I don’t exist?”

Y/N exhaled through her nose, gripping her pen a little tighter. “Busy focusing on things that actually matter.”

At that, Karina let out a soft chuckle, amused rather than offended. “Ouch. And here I thought I mattered to you.”

Y/N turned her head sharply, meeting Karina’s gaze. She was smirking—of course she was—but there was something else lurking beneath it. Something almost… expectant.

Y/N swallowed. “You don’t.”

The words came out too fast, too forced.

And Karina? She caught it immediately.

Her smirk widened, but her eyes softened, like she saw right through Y/N’s pathetic attempt at indifference.

“Okay,” Karina murmured, tilting her head slightly. “If you say so.”

And just like that, she turned her attention back to the professor, acting as if they hadn’t just played a dangerous game of push and pull in the span of thirty seconds.

Y/N stared at her, jaw clenched, stomach twisting.

Because Karina knew.

She knew that Y/N was lying.

And she was just waiting for her to admit it.

It wasn’t Y/N’s idea to go out that night.

Minjeong had all but dragged her to the frat house, insisting she needed to “relax and act like a normal college student for once.”

So Y/N went. And if she was being honest, she needed the distraction.

The music was loud, the air thick with the scent of alcohol and cheap cologne. Y/N stuck to the kitchen, nursing a beer, nodding along to conversations she wasn’t really listening to.

And then—of course—Karina walked in.

Y/N felt her before she saw her.

Felt the way the energy in the room shifted, the way heads turned as Karina Yu made her entrance like she owned the place. She wore something sleek, something effortlessly put together, like she hadn’t even tried and still managed to be the most captivating person in the room.

And the worst part? She wasn’t alone.

Some guy—tall, objectively attractive—was trailing behind her, laughing at something she said. Karina turned her head, smiling at him, and something bitter curled in Y/N’s chest.

She hated it.

She hated that she cared.

“Dude,” Minjeong nudged her, leaning against the counter. “You’re staring.”

Y/N snapped out of it, clearing her throat. “I’m not.”

Minjeong raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, okay.”

But Y/N wasn’t staring.

At least, not anymore.

Because Karina had noticed her.

Even through the sea of people, even with that guy still talking in her ear, Karina’s gaze locked onto Y/N’s like a magnet.

And then, like she was making a point, Karina leaned in closer to him, her fingers grazing his arm as she laughed at something he said.

Y/N took a sip of her drink, forcing herself to look away.

This wasn’t her problem. Karina could do whatever she wanted.

But then, before she could stop herself, she was moving.

She weaved through the crowd, past drunken conversations and sweaty bodies, until she reached Karina.

“Can I talk to you?” Y/N said, voice steady, betraying nothing.

Karina blinked, looking up at her with the faintest trace of surprise—just for a second—before recovering.

She turned to the guy. “Give me a sec.”

The guy looked between them, then gave a slow nod, stepping away.

Karina turned back to Y/N, arms crossing. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Y/N clenched her jaw. “Can we not do this?”

Karina tilted her head. “Do what?”

Y/N exhaled sharply, running a hand through her hair. “The whole ‘let’s see who can push who further’ game.”

Karina was quiet for a beat. Then, she stepped closer—too close.

Y/N could smell her perfume, the faint trace of whatever drink she’d been nursing.

“You don’t like it?” Karina murmured, voice lower now.

Y/N held her ground. “No.”

Karina studied her, gaze flickering between Y/N’s eyes, searching for something.

And then, to Y/N’s surprise, Karina sighed.

“Fine,” Karina said, stepping back, tension shifting just slightly. “No more games.”

Y/N didn’t believe her. “Just like that?”

Karina gave her a small, unreadable smile. “Just like that.”

And then, before Y/N could say anything else, Karina walked away.

Y/N stood there, fists clenched at her sides, heart pounding in her ears.

Because somehow, that felt worse.

Somehow, Y/N realized, she didn’t want Karina to stop playing.

And that scared her more than anything.

Y/N told herself that after the party, things would go back to normal.

She could shake this off—shake Karina off—and everything would settle.

But the problem with telling yourself something over and over again is that, eventually, you start realizing it’s a lie.

Karina was everywhere.

Not in the obvious ways—she wasn’t texting Y/N, wasn’t suddenly showing up at her dorm unannounced like she used to. If anything, Karina had pulled back.

And that was the problem.

Because now Y/N was the one noticing her.

Noticing the way Karina still sat near her in class, but never directly next to her. Noticing how their eyes would meet across the cafeteria, but Karina would always be the first to look away. Noticing how, during passing periods, Karina’s shoulder would nearly brush against Y/N’s before she’d shift slightly at the last second, putting just enough space between them.

And for some reason, it was driving Y/N insane.

It was like Karina had figured out exactly how to get under her skin—by giving her the distance Y/N had pretended to want.

And now, Y/N hated it.

Soccer was supposed to be Y/N’s escape.

The one place where things made sense, where the only thing that mattered was the ball at her feet and the goal ahead.

But even that had started to feel different.

Practice was tense. Not because of the drills or the upcoming matches, but because Minjeong—who always seemed to have a sixth sense for Y/N’s moods—had noticed something was off.

“You’re playing like someone who has unresolved feelings,” Minjeong remarked after practice, tossing Y/N a water bottle.

Y/N scowled. “I’m playing like someone who wants to win.”

Minjeong smirked. “Right. And totally not like someone who’s mad that Karina Yu is suddenly treating her like a stranger.”

Y/N nearly choked on her water. “I—what?”

Minjeong crossed her arms, unimpressed. “Come on, dude. You think I haven’t noticed?”

Y/N opened her mouth, then closed it. Because what was she supposed to say? That she was fine? That Karina’s distance wasn’t bothering her?

Because that would be another lie.

And Minjeong would see right through it.

Instead, Y/N just sighed, dragging a hand down her face. “It’s complicated.”

Minjeong hummed. “Complicated because you like her?”

Y/N stiffened. “I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then Minjeong clapped a hand on Y/N’s shoulder, far too amused. “Just saying, if you wanna keep lying to yourself, that’s cool. But maybe stop pretending you don’t care when it’s obvious you do.”

Y/N groaned. “You’re the worst.”

Minjeong grinned. “I know.”

But as she walked off, leaving Y/N alone on the field, the words stuck.

Because maybe Minjeong wasn’t wrong.

Maybe Y/N had been lying to herself this whole time.

Y/N hadn’t planned to run into Karina that night.

She’d gone to the library late, hoping to cram in some studying before crashing. The campus was quiet at this hour, only a few students lingering in the study rooms, the distant hum of conversation filling the space.

She was halfway through highlighting a passage when she sensed someone sit across from her.

She didn’t need to look up to know who it was.

Her hands tightened around her pen. “Didn’t think you studied this late.”

Karina’s voice was smooth, a little too casual. “Didn’t think you cared.”

Y/N exhaled, finally looking up.

Karina looked… calm. Not smirking, not teasing—just studying Y/N with that unreadable expression she’d perfected.

It was infuriating.

“Is this some new strategy?” Y/N muttered. “Ignoring me until I crack?”

Karina tilted her head slightly. “I wasn’t ignoring you.”

Y/N scoffed. “Oh, really? Because last week, you wouldn’t leave me alone, and now I barely exist to you.”

Karina was quiet for a second.

Then, in a softer voice, she said, “You told me you didn’t want to play the game anymore.”

Y/N faltered.

Because… hadn’t she?

Hadn’t she told Karina she was done with whatever this back-and-forth was?

And yet, here she was.

Karina leaned forward slightly, elbows resting on the table. “I gave you space, Y/N. You just didn’t like it as much as you thought you would.”

Y/N clenched her jaw. “That’s not—”

But she stopped herself.

Because Karina was right.

Y/N swallowed hard, fingers tightening around her pen. “I just…” She exhaled slowly. “I don’t know what this is.”

Karina’s gaze softened just slightly. “Neither do I.”

That admission caught Y/N off guard.

Because Karina always acted like she had the upper hand, always seemed so sure of herself. But now, in this quiet corner of the library, she wasn’t playing games.

She was just being honest.

For a long moment, neither of them spoke.

Then Karina let out a small breath, tapping her fingers against the table. “You wanna get out of here?”

Y/N frowned. “Where?”

Karina shrugged. “Anywhere that’s not this library.”

Y/N hesitated.

She shouldn’t say yes.

But against all logic, she found herself nodding.

“Yeah,” she muttered. “Okay.”

And as Karina stood, waiting for her, Y/N realized that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t run from this.

From Karina.

Because Karina was the one thing Y/N couldn’t escape.

And maybe, deep down, she didn’t want to.

Y/N wasn’t sure why she agreed to leave the library with Karina.

Maybe it was exhaustion. Maybe it was Minjeong’s words still bouncing around in her head. Or maybe it was the way Karina had looked at her—not with smugness, not with teasing, but with something real.

Either way, they ended up walking through campus side by side, the cool night air settling over them in silence.

For once, Karina didn’t try to fill the quiet.

She walked at Y/N’s pace, hands tucked into the pockets of her coat, gaze flickering up at the dimly lit buildings around them.

It was strange—almost unsettling—to be next to Karina without the usual push and pull.

No cameras. No spectators. Just them.

After a while, Y/N exhaled and shoved her hands into her hoodie pocket. “So, are you gonna tell me where we’re going, or is this some elaborate plan to murder me?”

Karina let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “As tempting as that is, no.” She glanced at Y/N with a small smirk. “Relax. I figured we could just walk.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “You? Just walking? Without some grand scheme?”

Karina sighed dramatically. “I’m capable of normal human activities, you know.”

“Debatable.”

Karina nudged her playfully, and Y/N bit back a smile.

They ended up near the soccer field—empty at this hour, save for the faint glow of the campus lights reflecting off the damp grass.

Karina strolled toward the bleachers and sat down, gesturing for Y/N to join her.

Y/N hesitated but eventually sat beside her, the cool metal of the bleachers pressing against her legs.

For a few moments, neither of them spoke.

It wasn’t uncomfortable, though.

If anything, it was… easy.

Which was dangerous.

Because Y/N knew Karina thrived in chaos, in the tension of their usual banter, in the thrill of whatever game they’d been playing since the beginning.

But tonight, there was none of that.

And Y/N didn’t know what to do with it.

Karina exhaled, tilting her head back to look at the stars. “You know,” she murmured, “I don’t think I ever really stop moving.”

Y/N glanced at her. “What do you mean?”

Karina’s lips curved, but it wasn’t her usual smirk. “I mean, I’m always doing something. Going somewhere. Talking to someone. It’s… exhausting, sometimes.”

Y/N frowned. She’d never heard Karina admit anything like that before.

“I guess I just don’t like slowing down,” Karina continued, voice quieter now. “Because when I do, I start thinking too much.”

Y/N shifted slightly, studying her.

There was something vulnerable in the way Karina was speaking.

Like she wasn’t just saying things to be heard.

Like she actually wanted Y/N to understand.

“You ever feel like that?” Karina asked, turning to her.

Y/N hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah.”

She didn’t elaborate, but Karina didn’t push.

Instead, Karina let out a soft chuckle. “Look at us. Having an actual conversation.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Miracle of the century.”

Karina smirked, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Y/N wanted to ask more. She wanted to press, to understand this side of Karina she was just now seeing.

But she didn’t.

Because if she asked, that meant acknowledging that she cared.

And Y/N wasn’t sure she was ready for that.

They sat in silence for a while longer, the night air cool but not unpleasant.

At some point, Y/N stretched her legs out, her knee barely brushing against Karina’s.

She expected Karina to pull away—to put that usual distance between them.

But she didn’t.

She stayed still.

The warmth of her presence was almost unnerving.

Y/N’s fingers curled into the fabric of her hoodie, suddenly feeling too aware of how close they were.

Karina must have noticed.

Because when she spoke again, her voice was quieter.

“You know…” Karina exhaled, tilting her head slightly toward Y/N. “I didn’t expect you to matter this much.”

Y/N’s breath hitched.

She turned her head slowly, finding Karina already looking at her.

It wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t teasing.

It was real.

The weight of Karina’s words settled between them, heavy and unspoken.

Y/N swallowed hard. “Karina…”

Karina’s gaze flickered down—just briefly—to Y/N’s lips.

Y/N’s heart stuttered.

And for a moment—a terrifying, fleeting moment—she thought Karina might actually kiss her.

She thought she might let her.

But then Karina pulled back slightly, her expression unreadable once more.

She exhaled through her nose, as if amused at herself. “See?” she murmured. “Thinking too much.”

Y/N blinked, still caught in whatever spell had just been cast between them.

But Karina was already standing, brushing imaginary dust off her coat.

“Come on,” Karina said lightly, her usual smirk returning. “I’ll walk you back.”

Y/N hesitated before standing as well.

As they made their way back through campus, Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed.

That, maybe, whatever space had been between them before… was smaller now.

Something had changed.

Y/N felt it in the way Karina looked at her—like she was expecting something.

She felt it in the way their conversations lingered just a little too long, in the way Karina found excuses to touch her—an arm brushing against hers, fingers catching her wrist, a knee bumping against her under the table.

It was in the way Karina invaded her space, in the way she seemed to think she had a right to it now.

And Y/N was letting her.

That was the problem.

Because despite all her instincts, all her warnings to herself, she wasn’t pushing Karina away anymore.

She was letting Karina pull her closer.

And she didn’t know how to stop.

It happened on a Friday night.

The soccer team had won another game, and the celebrations had spilled out onto campus, the dorms buzzing with energy. But Y/N wasn’t in the mood to party.

She had barely made it inside her dorm before Karina was there—waiting, as if she had been expecting her.

“You’re avoiding me,” Karina said, arms crossed.

Y/N sighed, dropping her bag onto the floor. “I’m not.”

Karina gave her a look. “You are.”

Y/N ran a hand through her hair. “I just needed some space.”

Karina didn’t move. “From me?”

Y/N hesitated.

Because yes. Yes, she needed space. She needed distance before she did something stupid, before she let herself believe that whatever this was—whatever Karina was doing—meant something more.

But Karina was looking at her with something raw in her expression, something that made Y/N’s resolve waver.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Y/N admitted, voice quiet.

Karina stared at her, something unreadable flashing across her face. “I don’t know either.”

Y/N swallowed. “Then what are we doing?”

Karina stepped closer, and Y/N’s heart stuttered.

“We don’t have to name it,” Karina murmured. “We just have to let it be.”

Y/N hated how much she wanted to believe her.

She hated how much she wanted to close the distance between them.

She hated how Karina made her feel—like a thread being pulled too tight, waiting to snap.

And Karina must have seen something in her eyes, because her voice softened.

“Tell me to stop,” Karina whispered.

Y/N’s breath caught.

Karina was so close now, close enough that Y/N could see the flicker of uncertainty in her usually unreadable eyes.

Close enough that Y/N could feel her warmth.

And for a second, Y/N thought she might not stop her.

For a second, she thought she might let herself fall.

But then—

A knock at the door.

They jolted apart like they had been caught doing something they shouldn’t.

Y/N turned, exhaling sharply, while Karina took a step back, hands clenched at her sides.

The moment was gone.

And Y/N wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed.

Y/N didn’t sleep that night.

She kept replaying the moment over and over, feeling the ghost of Karina’s presence beside her, the warmth she had almost leaned into.

The next morning, she expected Karina to pretend like nothing had happened.

That was how Karina worked, after all.

She played games. She knew when to push and when to pull back.

But Karina didn’t pretend.

Instead, for the first time since their arrangement had started, she was the one avoiding Y/N.

And that was how Y/N knew—

Whatever they were doing, whatever lines they had been dancing around—

They had finally, finally started to blur.

It had been three days since the night in Y/N’s dorm. Three days of silence.

It was like a wall had gone up between them, and Y/N felt it every time she saw Karina—at practice, in the hallways, even in the cafeteria. Karina didn’t make eye contact anymore. She didn’t offer that sly smile or the playful teasing that had become so familiar.

And Y/N… she wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

At first, she thought she was relieved. She had told herself she needed space, that things had gotten too close, too fast. But as the days went on, that relief slowly turned into something else—something like… loneliness.

It was like they had been in their own world, one where the rules didn’t quite apply. And now, that world was slipping away, leaving Y/N with nothing but a dull ache.

She couldn’t quite understand it, couldn’t quite explain it.

But she missed Karina.

It was another Friday night, and Karina’s behavior had only gotten colder. Y/N couldn’t stand it. She found herself slipping into Karina’s favorite hangout spot on campus—an old, quiet study lounge where Karina had a habit of disappearing to when she wanted a break from the crowds.

The door creaked open, and there Karina was, sitting on one of the plush chairs by the window, her back to Y/N.

“Karina,” Y/N said, trying to keep her voice steady.

Karina didn’t turn around. “What are you doing here?” she asked, though the words didn’t have their usual bite.

Y/N hesitated, then stepped inside, closing the door softly behind her. “I… I needed to talk to you.”

Karina didn’t respond. She just kept staring out the window, the dim light from the streetlights casting shadows on her face.

Y/N’s heart beat faster, but she couldn’t let it go. “I don’t like this,” she blurted out, before she could stop herself.

Karina’s shoulders tensed, but she didn’t turn around. “Don’t like what?” she asked, though there was an edge to her voice now.

Y/N crossed the room, her footsteps quiet against the hardwood floor. She stopped just short of Karina’s chair. “The way you’ve been acting. The silence. The distance. It feels like I’m losing you.”

Karina finally looked at her, but her expression was unreadable. “You’ve always known how to keep me at arm’s length,” she said, her voice soft, but sharp all the same. “You’ve never let me get too close.”

Y/N’s chest tightened at the words. “I didn’t mean to—”

“You didn’t mean to what?” Karina interrupted, standing up now, her gaze intense. “You didn’t mean to push me away? Or you didn’t mean to let me in, only to turn around and close the door?”

Y/N’s breath caught. She hadn’t realized it until now, but maybe that was exactly what she had been doing. Keeping Karina at a distance, only to let her close, then push her away again.

“I’m not good at this,” Y/N admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Karina didn’t say anything for a long time. Then, in a quiet voice, she said, “I didn’t think you were.”

Y/N flinched at the words. They stung more than she cared to admit.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she said, her voice thick with regret.

Karina’s gaze softened just a little. “I know you didn’t,” she said quietly. “But it doesn’t make it any easier, does it?”

Y/N swallowed, trying to find the right words. “I don’t know how to… how to be with you. I don’t know how to do any of this.”

Karina’s lips parted, like she was going to say something, but instead, she just let out a soft sigh. She looked away, her expression turning inward. “I’m not asking for you to have it all figured out,” she said. “I’m just asking for you to try.”

Y/N stood there, frozen. “Try?”

Karina nodded, her gaze turning back to Y/N. “Yeah. Try. Because right now, it feels like you’re just running away.”

The silence between them stretched, but this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was… real.

Y/N’s heart ached as she stared at Karina, her words lingering in the air. She wanted to say something—something that would make it all make sense, that would bridge the gap between them. But nothing came.

Instead, she just stepped closer.

And without thinking, without a single ounce of hesitation, she reached out and touched Karina’s arm.

Karina looked at her, and for the first time in days, there was no smirk, no teasing in her eyes. Only something deeper. Something softer.

Y/N’s breath caught, her hand trembling slightly as she moved it up to Karina’s shoulder.

“I’m not running away,” Y/N said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just… I just don’t know what I’m doing.”

Karina didn’t say anything, but she didn’t pull away either. She just stood there, waiting.

And in that moment, everything between them felt clearer than it ever had. The tension, the uncertainty, the hesitation—it all melted away.

Y/N leaned forward, her heart hammering in her chest.

Karina didn’t move, didn’t shy away.

And then—without thinking—Y/N kissed her.

The kiss was soft, tentative at first, like they were both still figuring it out. But as Karina kissed her back, the world seemed to stop.

For a brief moment, there was no confusion. No fear. No doubt. Just the two of them, finally, truly, in sync.

When they finally pulled away, both of them breathless, Karina looked at Y/N with a new intensity.

“You’re not running anymore,” Karina said, her voice low and steady.

Y/N smiled, her chest full of warmth. “I think I’m finally learning how to stay.”

And for the first time in what felt like forever, Y/N realized that maybe—just maybe—this was the beginning of something real.

That week, everything between them shifted. It wasn’t an earth-shattering change, but it was enough to make Y/N feel like the ground was slightly less shaky under her feet. They spoke more, spent more time together, even if it was in small ways—Karina waiting for Y/N outside her next practice, or sitting with her at lunch, not really talking much, just existing in the same space.

There was something comforting about it.

But there was still a distance—an invisible line that neither of them had crossed. They didn’t talk about the kiss, not really. It was as though it had been a fleeting moment in time, one that neither of them had fully processed yet. But there was an unspoken understanding between them. They were both scared of what this might become. Neither of them had the answers.

And then, one Thursday afternoon, everything changed.

Y/N had just finished up her last class of the day, exhausted from the week’s grueling practices, when she received a message from Karina.

Karina: Meet me at the bench by the field? I want to talk.

Y/N hesitated, feeling that familiar flutter in her chest. She texted back quickly.

Y/N: Sure. Be there in 10.

The bench by the field was their unofficial meeting spot. It had become a place where, no matter how chaotic their days were, they could sit and talk without interruption. Y/N walked toward it, her sneakers scuffing against the pavement, heart pounding a little faster with every step.

When she arrived, Karina was already there, sitting with her legs crossed, looking at her phone. She looked up when Y/N approached, a soft smile tugging at her lips.

“Hey,” Karina said, voice casual, but there was a nervousness underneath, something Y/N hadn’t expected.

“Hey,” Y/N replied, her throat suddenly dry. “What’s up?”

Karina took a deep breath, setting her phone down on the bench next to her. “I’ve been thinking a lot, actually,” she began, her eyes meeting Y/N’s with surprising seriousness. “About… everything. About us. And what happens next.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?”

Karina hesitated before speaking, the words coming slowly. “I’m not good at this,” she admitted. “I’ve spent so much of my life pretending, controlling everything around me, and now… I don’t know what to do with this. With you.”

Y/N’s chest tightened at her honesty. She could see the vulnerability in Karina’s eyes, the same vulnerability she had always kept hidden beneath layers of confidence and charm. It made her want to reach out, to reassure her.

“Karina, I don’t know what to do either,” Y/N said quietly, her voice steady. “I’m just trying to figure it out, too.”

Karina looked down, biting her lip. When she looked back up, there was something different in her gaze—something softer, but more determined. “I don’t want to keep pretending. I don’t want us to be some weird, complicated… whatever this is. I want to figure it out. I want to take it slow, but I want to be real with you.”

Y/N felt her heart skip in her chest, her breath catching in her throat. This was it—the moment they had both been avoiding.

“I want that, too,” Y/N said, the words coming easily. “I don’t want to keep pretending either.”

For a long moment, they just sat there, the space between them feeling different. It wasn’t heavy anymore, just… open. Like they were both standing on the edge of something, unsure but ready.

And in that moment, Y/N realized that, no matter how slow they took it, no matter how many walls they had to break down, she wanted to be there. With Karina. She was finally ready to figure it out.

Together.

#cents works #aespa #aespa x reader #yu jimin #yu jimin x reader #karina #karina x reader #kpop gg x reader #kpop gg #kpop wlw

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ilovetoxicfictionalmen · 1 year ago

Text

WHIPPED

Pairing - Tommy Shelby x fem!reader

Summary - You strain from your husband who will not give you attention. He doesn't like that.

Warnings - NONCON, domestic violence, dub con, manipulative, belt whipping, spanking, tommy is mean, degrading words, breeding kink.

Word count - 3k+

Notes - You voted, you received.

Something in Tommy’s intellect changed overnight. Every once in a while, his mind would travel back in time to the war. But now, when he awoke from his nightmares, he still felt like he was crawling through the tunnels. The hairs on the back of his neck stuck up more frequently, his hand rested on his gun a lot. Feeling too skeptical that he’d need to fire it at any second.

It had impacted your newly wedded marriage, but you didn’t dare to say anything to him. You showed you cared by holding him a little tighter at night. Whilst he laid on the bed like a stone figure, staring up into the ceiling as he refused to fall asleep.

The sex had turned emotionless like flowers dying without water. The intimacy was dead. It made you down in the mouth and filled your heart with despair. You only wanted to kiss him, talk to him, be held by him. But he had forgotten who you were.

Over the weeks, your sadness turned into anger. You refused to be upset by his neglect any longer. So, you found other ways to find pleasure in your life and quickly realized that the only way to get your husband’s attention was jealousy. It frustrated Tommy when you started to ignore his presence, venture out without informing him and associating with his family more than him. Tommy would lecture you, wagging his finger at you. You’d only simply nod your head, awaiting for it to be over. Then it would repeat all over again. But Tommy’s mind was too caught up in his business to find the time to truly teach you a lesson.

Until now, the surprisingly last straw was Arthur whispering something into your ear, resulting in you playfully slapping his shoulder and giggling like a teenager. Tommy’s head snapped to you two, everyone in the reading room still watching Tommy as he awaited for you to acknowledge him.

After a pause, you finally looked up to Tommy and the stare off commenced. Your eyebrows were furrowed as Tommy’s eyes twitched, he knew you had never been unfaithful. But his mind was now racing with thoughts of the possibility occurring if he didn’t put a stop to his behavior.

“Well, we will have a break. It seems that my wife has forgotten her manners and I must reteach them…” Tommy declared confidently as he lit another cigarette between his cold lips.

All heads snapped towards you and Arthur’s face turned beet red.

“Thomas” you sighed as you pressed your hand to your forehead, cheeks turning a shade darker from embarrassment.

Any other time, Tommy adored it when you called him by his full name. But this time, he felt as if you were challenging him, trying to humiliate him in front of his family. Tommy took three large strides towards the door and motioned for you to exit in an exaggerated manner. When you merely continued to stare back at him dully he snapped.

“Get the fuck up!” Tommy raised his voice, causing everyone in the room to flinch.

Tommy’s eyes were strained, a vein popped out of his forehead as his hands formed to fists.

“Tommy” Arthur protested, leaning forward in his seat.

Arthur was always so loyal to Tommy, but grew to be highly protective of you. He was prepared to cop the fire instead, take a beating if he had to. It was his doings anyways, not yours.

“It’s alright Arthur” you soothed his guilty look, looking confident even though your heart was pounding in shock at your husband’s outburst.

Tommy saw red when you reassuringly pressed your hand to his chest. Without waiting any longer he marched towards you. You jumped up from your seat before he could yank you up. But he still latched onto your bicep and pulled you out of the room with no care as you winced from his hold.

“Tommy… You’re hurting me!” You cried as he pulled you up the stairs.

There was no answer from him. Only the sounds of grunts through his hard expression as he led you to the bedroom. Shoving you into the room, Tommy slammed the door shut and stomped around in circles, his hand tugging at his roots as he heard the shouts and cries of his fallen fellow soldiers. Your arms crossed over your chest, a frustrated expression set on your face by glue.

“Thomas you’re being dramatic” you pointed out, shaking your head at his behavior. The embarrassment had drenched you completely, he was too furious to notice how awful he had made the situation.

Tommy’s head shot towards you and he glared at you.

“Pardon? You parading yourself around my brother in front of my entire family is nothing more than me being dramatic!” Tommy roared as he marched towards you. “Why don’t you fucking respect me!” Tommy yelled, his pale skin now red as he grabbed onto your shoulders in a warning touch.

His anger spattered onto you as you felt your chest tighten, you scoffed at his words, not intimidated by his hold on you. “Oh calm down Thomas!” You hissed at your husband.

You fell to the fall before the pain even shot from your cheek. Before the redness even grew on your timid skin. You choked out in shock as you raised your hand to the burning sensation on your cheek. The back of Tommy's hand was still positioned in the air from where he hit you. Tommy had never hit you before, he had vowed to never do it.

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down” Tommy growled.

Swiftly, he bent down to yank you back up to your feet. When you struggled against his hold and tried to smack him away he hit you again with the front of his hand this time. Then he hit the other cheek just as hard. You screamed out in fear but his hand was swift to smack over your mouth.

“Who do you fucking think you are? Huh! You wear my name! You’re in my house!” Tommy lectured, shaking you around like a ragdoll before he shoved you back to the ground.

Tommy went back to walking around in circles, his hand roughly massaged his chin as he wondered what to do with you. His disobedient wife. You laid on the floor, frozen in fear as you stared at his polished shoes twirling around the room. With your hands pressed against your stinging cheeks, tears shedded from your aching eyes. Your sobs were silent and rough.

A heavy sigh left his lips as he looked down to you. Slowly, he undid his belt and slipped it out of the loops of his pants and folded it in half. Tommy fell back onto the brown leather armchair in the corner of the room and lightly slapped his belt against his knee.

“Come here, lay over my knee my darling…” Tommy spoke in a soothing voice, but had a wicked grin on his lips.

You looked up at him with fearful eyes, then your stare was stuck on his belt slapping against his pants. Knowing his intentions, you whimpered out pathetically and shook your head against the floor.

“N-no” you objected weakly.

“It wasn’t an offer” Tommy grunted, he leaned towards you, the grip on the leather tightened. “Do it before I show you how strong my foot is” Tommy warned, tapping his foot impatiently.

It took you a moment to get up, you were too busy having a little silent breakdown as you whined at his response. The smirk on his lips grew larger as he watched you gradually crawl towards him, wincing to yourself as you climbed up onto his lap and laid stiff on top of him.

Tommy sighed as he pulled up your dress, his hand rubbed your ass briefly before he yanked down your panties to your knees. The leather brushed over your backside and you gripped onto his leg in fear as you sobbed quietly.

“You seemed to have mistaken my kindness for weakness, my darling. I have no problem with showing you my ruthlessness, the many tales you heard of me before we had even met” Tommy explained as he dragged the belt all over your skin.

“You’re scaring me Tommy” you sniffled out.

The inside of your throat felt swollen and your chest ached. A harsh slap with the belt landed on your rear. It caused your panicky yelp to echo throughout the room. When you tried to impulsively wiggle yourself off of him he smacked you again with the leather.

“You’ve lost your privileges to address me by my first name, correct yourself right now!” Tommy ordered, his hold on his belt tight as his free hand went around your back to keep you trapped.

“Tom-uh Mr Shelby?” You answered unsurely, your expression wincing as your shoulders raised.

“Good girl!” Tommy praised as the belt smacked against your rear again.

You chortled out as he continued on with your punishment. Quickly, you lost count with how many times he hit you as he flicked his wrist in a haphazardly manner. Sometimes he’d focus purely on one cheek. Or do slow and heavy smacks across every inch of your skin. Then he’d do quick stings across your rear.

“Please stop!” you begged, your voice dry and weak, your mouth pressed against his knee as you tried to muffle out your cries.

“Aw, my darling can’t take it anymore eh?” Tommy chuckled.

He dropped the belt onto your back and rubbed your tender backside with his bare hand roughly.

“Please I love you Tommy!” you exhorted, desperately hoping this would ease his suspicions.

The screech was piercing when he smacked your bruised skin wickedly with his palm.

“Correct yourself, whore” Tommy spat.

‘Ah! I love you Mr Shelby” you sobbed out.

Your head fell back down to his knee, your teeth bit into his leg to silence yourself but he didn't mind. Surprisingly, the pain felt nice to him.��

“That’s a good girl…” Tommy grinned, rubbing your ass again roughly as if he was praising you. “I’m going to beat your ass beyond breaking point. Then I’ll know you’ve learnt your lesson” Tommy addressed.

“No Mr Shelby please! I understand!” You protested as you squirmed over him. Tommy was quick to hold you on top of him as you tried to swing your body onto the floor. “Please forgive me! I won’t do it again!” You pleaded as you tried to blink back your tears.

“Stay still before I hit you with the buckle!” Tommy threatened, his words hissing like a viper.

You mewled out, but listened to his demand. Tommy picked up his belt again and proceeded to whip you with it.

When your cries had died down and you laid still on him, Tommy dropped the belt to the ground and rubbed your black and blue rear. When his fingers rubbed against your slit, he grinned to himself as he brought them into his sight. They glistered in your fluid and he sucked his fingers clean, moaning to himself at your sweet taste.

“Seems like I wasn’t the only one that enjoyed this”' Tommy commented as his fingers returned to your cunt, fondling with your folds and teasing your nerves by randomly pushing in a digit. “Have you learnt your lesson?” Tommy cocked an eyebrow to you.

As you tried to turn your head back towards him, you nodded to him. “Yes Mr Shelby” you spoke out breathlessly.

“Which is?” He questioned.

You choked on your words as you blinked back your tears. “To be a good wife to you!”

“Such a good wife…” Tommy soothed as he caressed your bruised ass. “Stand up and strip for your husband” he instructed as he leaned back into his seat.

Through gritted teeth, you stood on your two feet and slowly stripped till you were completely nude in front of him. Your body shook like a leaf in the wind as you resisted not to cover yourself with your arms. Tommy sighed to himself as he looked your heated figure up and down, and then he pulled out his length and gradually stroked himself a couple of times. Not failing to express how aroused he was through his groans.

“Come here and sit on my cock eh?”

“Mr Shelby please” you begged weakly, eyes stinging with discomfort.

Tommy leaned forward and pointed his finger to you. “Shut up before I change my mind, bend you over and fuck your ass” he warned, his pointed finger completely still.

You nodded your head like a begging dog and practically ran over to Tommy despite the pain that shot through your rear. You straddled your husband, his hands were on your hips as he grinned up to you, his cock pressed against your inner thigh.

“Who do you belong to?” Tommy asked as his length pushed into your throbbing, soaked entrance.

“You Mr Shelby!” You answered through a groan as you slid down his shaft.

“Good… No more talking to anyone, at all, without my permission eh?” Tommy commanded with a resolute nod. All you could do was nod back as he rocked his hips against yours, his fingernails dug into your flesh as your walls squeezed his size.

“Mr Shelby” you whined out.

“You’re mine” Tommy growled animalistically as he leant in to bite your neck. “Only fucking mine. You wanted my attention? You fucking got it” he grunted as he rutted himself deep inside of you.

Your eyes rolled back as you held onto your husband tightly as he drew blood from your neck. The pain dissolved as the pleasure quickly built up inside of your core. Your mouth had fallen open as you were moaning out shamelessly, Tommy slapped your ass and you squealed.

“You’re clenching around me so tightly darling, you want to milk me empty eh? Get yourself pregnant?” Tommy asked, his own breathing heavy as he pounded himself into you.

“Yes Mr Shelby!”

“Keep on squeezing me then, just like that” Tommy coached as his hips thrusted at an immaculate speed. “Maybe another baby in this house would keep you tamed. Let’s give Charlie a little brother or sister eh?” He suggested, a proud smirk on his lips.

All you could do was hum in compliance as you clenched around him. It was so slippery you had to hold your body in place. His balls were slapping against you as you felt your climax climbing as high as it could. The scream from your hot lips echoed throughout the room as you held onto Tommy for dear life. He grunted in response, and shortly followed through with his own climax.

Your body fell dead on top of him as you tried to catch your breath back. Through deep breaths, your chest rose and fell as your eyes remained shut. Tommy breathed out, his hands caressed your lower back as he inhaled your scent. He was still buried inside of you, he could feel your fluids drip out slowly.

“Fuck, that was something else, wasn’t it my love?” Tommy asked teasingly as he patted your rear.

You whimpered, tear stained eyes as you looked up to your husband, he smiled softly to you, you smiled softly back. He guided your hips up, his coated cock slipped out of your swollen entrance with a pop and he helped you onto your feet.

After he slipped his member back into his pants, Tommy guided you to bend over the bed, you winced as you followed through and he examined you. Down on his knees, Tommy pulled your lips apparent with two fingers as he watched your mixed fluids drip out of you. His hands caressed over your abused skin as he stood back up again.

“If only you could see how beautiful you look my dear” Tommy sighed, his voice dark and husky.

He pulled you back up and held you in his arms, your flustered body caved against him. Your knees buckled as Tommy held your weak stance up, he murmured to you, his face rubbed against yours like a needy cat.

“You wanna come down for the rest of the meeting?” Tommy hummed in the crook of your neck.

The thought of you going back down there frightened you, the humiliation of this sudden occurrence felt too overwhelming. Having all eyes on you would cause you to have a breakdown without a doubt, you knew they heard you, your cries had echoed to the fields.

“No Mr Shelby” you answered timidly, sniffling to yourself as you tried to cry silently.

“That’s alright, you rest up, you look exhausted. I’ll come check on you later, I have some business to attend to after this, okay?” Tommy spoke innocently as he led you to the bed.

Tommy helped you in, you winced at the friction of your rear to the sheets but made no comment to your husband’s kindness. The covers were tucked in around you, Tommy petted your hair to the side and smiled at you.

“Thank you Mr Shelby” your smile shaked, cheeks still a dark shade of red.

“Sleep well my love” Tommy whispered before he planted a tender kiss on your lips.

It’s what you missed so badly, instinctively, your arms reached up from under the sheets and tried to snake around his back. But your body felt so weak, you couldn’t bring yourself up. Tommy hummed and pulled your body up, his hold on your lower back as the sheets slipped down your body already, his tongue slipped straight down your throat as your tongue massaged him. As you moaned directly into his mouth, Tommy pressed your faces together as he gently laid you back onto the bed.

“I love you” you whispered once more as your head fell deep into the pillow, your tired eyes remained shut. A low hum echoed out of Tommy as you quickly fell asleep.

Tommy walked back down into the reading room. He knew everyone had heard everything, his eyes locked with Arthur’s. As he shot him a glare, Arthur lowered his head submissively as Tommy continued on with his discussions and concerns to his family.

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