#I have sooo much to say about this but I’m making myself sad so imma shut up now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

princeazurathepathetic · 5 years ago

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Okay so, Imma put some warnings about this: There is swearing, quite a bit in fact

This is about Gender Dysphoria

Very very minor Verdant Wind spoilers

Also about a young man that is trans but hasn't came out yet

Mentioned parental abuse because Count Gloucester is terrible

No Lorenz hating allowed!

Trans Lorenz

Angst

Not the happiest ending, but it's not sad either

Ty for reading, if u like it plz tell me! I also take constructive criticism. It's kinda long.

Maybe They Need Her

It was happening again. Why did this always happen? It was completely unbefitting of his station, and yet very often, Lorenz felt this way. Awkward, confused, unhappy, slightly nauseous, and anxious. He wished he wouldn't, it made social interaction so much harder, and that's almost always when it happened.

He had been out with the rest of the Golden Deer. Raphael had suggested that they all went out to celebrate their recent victory at a local restaurant, that also happened to have a bar, pre Leonie's request. Leonie, Hilda, and the professor had jumped on the idea, Claude had seen nothing wrong with the idea, and Lysithea had immediately wanted to as soon as she'd heard that there was going to be desert. Marianne, had been wanting to push herself and participate in more social interaction, so she also thought it sounded like a good idea. And Ignatz wanted to go since Raphael was hosting it, and he would take any excuse to be around Raphael. Lorenz, of course, wanted to go as well, it wouldn't do for a noble of his class and station to be the only one not to go. Also, lately he and Claude, had started to understand each other, and he wanted to truly get to know him better.

The night had been going extremely well, Lysithea had eaten nothing but cake the entire time, Hilda had somehow convinced half the people in the bar to buy her drinks, Raphael had eaten half the restaurant's for supply, Ignatz and Marianne both seemed to actually be enjoying themselves, and Leonie and the professor had arm wrestled a total of thirty six times. Everyone was happy, and then Hilda announced that she had promised Lysithea and Marianne that she'd take them shopping for clothes. Lysithea seemed like she would rather do anything else claiming:

"Oh, um, we don't have to, Hilda. Don't want to ruin the party…" in which she got a

"Nonsense! I promised you!"

The Professor had asked if she and Leonie could come along. Leonie did NOT seem happy about that, but Hilda had agreed before she could say anything.

"Us girls NEED to go shopping! It's the funnest thing EVER! Come on, dont’cha want some girl time?"

"No! And I call bullshit! We could train, or spar, or literally do ANYTHING else. What's so fun about shopping and dressing up!?"

"Come now Leonie, we'll spar after okay? That way we can do something everybody likes."

"But Professor! I don't want to spar! That’s too much work!"

"Hilda, it's called a compromise."

Lorenz half listened to them as they argued their way toward the door. He wished he could go with them, but he didn't know why. What was so fun about shopping?

Still he asked, "Are we going to go with them?"and he immediately regretted doing so.

"And what? Buy dresses and talk about makeup? Nah. That's all girly stuff."

"Yeah, so who wants to do something actually fun? How about a drinking contest?"

There it was. The feeling. He didn't know why it always came on at times such as these, but it did. The anxiety, confusion, and awkwardness, was unbearable at times, and he knew deep down what caused it but he’d never admit it. He didn't really feel like being out socialising, but he knew he wasn't going to stop, he was a noble afterall, and therefore, must set the noble standard.

"Hey, you okay Lorenz?"

Claude was giving him that warm smile he knew so well, but his eyes were boring into Lorenz's soul. He hated it when Claude looked at him like that. It just made him even more uncomfortable.

"I'm perfectly fine, why do you ask, Claude?"

"Because you look like you're about to puke."

By the Goddess he hated how casual Claude's way of speech was, it irritated him to no end, but he'd learned to accept that Claude was never going to change.

"Please, Claude, you think I'd get sick so easily? I’m a Gloucester, we don’t just drop dead idly.”

“Uh huh, it’s called concern Lorenz, you don’t look so good, so I asked if you were okay. And it doesn’t look like you are, you’re being even more snappy than usual. You’re sweating profusely, and you look highly uncomfortable.”

Oh. since when did Claude start paying such close attention to him? He wished that he didn’t, Lorenz didn’t like it when people worried unnecessarily over him. Or, really he didn’t like it when people worried about him at all, it was weird and uncomfortable to say the least. He opened his mouth to protest what Claude had said, but felt himself unable to, due to the look Claude was giving him, he really was boring into Lorenz’s soul.

“I- uh…”

“You know what guys? I’m gonna take Lorenz back to the monastery. He seems to be feeling unwell.”

“What? But I have already told you, I am perfectly well.”

But it didn’t really matter what Lorenz said as Claude steered him out of the restaurant, back toward the monastery. Although Lorenz protested the whole way back, inside he was profusely thanking the goddess for getting him out of that drinking contest. As soon as they got back into Lorenz’s dormitory, Claude shut the door, giving Lorenz his serious look. It always felt odd for Lorenz, when Claude dropped the carefree, charismatic, happy, facade, since he seldom did so.

“So, are you going to explain to me what’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t know what… Ahem. What you’re talking about.”

Why was he losing his composure? The feeling still hadn’t gone away, and recently he’d been finding it hard to lie so much around Claude.

“Come on, we both know that something’s up, and I want to know what it is. I can’t have you getting sick, we’re marching on to the Empire soon ``

''I’m not sick!”

“Then what’s up?”

“Listen, sometimes I just start feeling a bit... Uncomfortable -for no particular reason!- when speaking with others, but it’s not a big deal, and certainly not something a noble such as myself can’t handle.”

“Sooo… Is it social anxiety?”

“No. I simply feel awkward and unhappy when people speak of-”

Lorenz cut himself off, he did not want to talk about this, especially not with Claude, even though they’d been working to better know each other, he still was a Riegan, and if word of this got to his servants or advisers, they’d use it against the entire Gloucester clan, and then his father would find out, which would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to Lorenz. “When people speak of... what?”

“Nothing, I misspoke.”

“Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

“Possibly.”

“Sarcasm? Really?”

“Who said it was sarcasm?”

There was a snort of laughter from Claude’s side of the room, maybe he’d distracted Claude just enough to get out of this conversation.

“Okay, but back to the topic at hand. You know that I’m not gonna stop bugging you until you tell me.”

“Well that’s awfully mature.”

“So… Spill it.”

“Very well, but you must swear that you will not mock me. Or tell anyone.”

“Geez Lorenz, didn’t realise it was such a terrible secret. Heh.”

“Swear Riegan!”

“Fine. I swear, Gloucester.”

“I get very anxious and uncomfortable when others around my person speak of gender.”

He spoke rather frankly in desperate hopes that it wouldn’t seem like a big deal and hopefully that Claude wouldn’t ask the questions he was dreading. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on his side that day.

“Why?”

“How should I know!? I am simply speaking the truth to your inquiries you so desperately need answered, apparently.”

Claude chose to ignore these remarks, much to Lorenz’s further irritation.

“So, lemme get this straight. You get highly uncomfortable, anxious and awkward whenever people talk about gender related topics and stuff?”

“Yes. Gender related topics, and stuff.”

“And you don’t know why.”

Claude gave Lorenz the look of ‘you better be telling the truth.’ Lorenz was fully prepared to lie. Hell, most of him wanted to lie, but there was this small part of him, the selfish part of him, who just wanted someone else to know, anyone else to know. Well except his family of course, the last thing he wanted was for them to know. And here was his opportunity, a chance handed to him on a silver plate. Maybe this was meant to happen.. Maybe this was the Goddess herself, taking pity on his sorry self, and giving him an opportunity to talk to someone. Well, if that was the case, who was he to decline a blessing from the Goddess. He answered.

“Well…”

“Come on Lorenz, tell me the truth. We’re friends now, right? I’m not gonna rat out any of your dark secrets.”

“Dark Secrets? What do you take me for? I have no ‘dark secrets’. The very notion!”

“Well, then what?”

“I just…- here it came, he was really going to say it- I don’t want… I don’t want.. To be a man.”

He’d said the last part so quietly, he’d be surprised if Claude could have possibly heard. He hadn’t.

“Sorry? Gonna have to repeat that.”

“I don’t want to be a man!” It came out incredibly loud this time but he didn’t even care, this was something that he’d been keeping to himself since he was fourteen, and wasn’t going to come out very noble.

“I never have! That is to say, I didn’t truly give it much thought in my childhood years, but since i was fourteen years of age, I have felt uncomfortable in the identity that I had, and confused about my gender, andabout how and why others viewed me, I haven’t wanted to be seen as a man, or as anything similar since that young age, I have wanted to be… Have wanted to be a woman! That’s what I wish I was! And it makes me so confused, and anxious, and unhappy, when others start talking about male stereotypes, and gender conformity, and, and, and really about anything relating to gender. Hell, I get uncomfortable when others refer to me as ‘he’ or ‘him’. And I- I-”

Why was it so hard to breath, and the easiest it had ever been, at the same time? Why was he saying this? Why was he saying it to Calude? Why was he yelling like some drunken commoner off the streets? Why did he even feel this way? Why couldn’t he just be normal? Without starting drama? And being a disgrace to his family name? He was a noble for the goddess’s sake! He should be the picture of perfection and grace, and model for his people! Not some fucked up failure that his Father was always disappointed in! Why was he so- so-

“Lorenz, calm down. You need to breathe, ok? Everything’s okay, calm down.”

He could feel Claude;s hand on his shoulder, as he tried to calm Loenz down, he tried to look at Claude, but his vision was blurry. Tears? Why the hell was he crying!? He’s got nothing to cry about! He is lucky and privileged to be of a noble house! To be the heir to so much money and power! To be living in a time with so many changed ideals. To have crest. Unlike so many noble children who are disowned at birth, because of not having one. He is lucky. He is spoiled. So why the fuck was he breaking down so easily? If his father could see him now, he’d be screaming at him to stop embarrassing his image! Why was he like this?

“Lorenz! Listen to me! You’re okay! I’m here, you can talk to me.”

“Apologies, I-I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Lorenz, this is a lot of bottled emotion, that’s been saved up for years. Let it out.”

“I- he tried to talk. But he was heaving trying to control his emotion and breathing.

“Lorenz, If this is truly so important to you… Why don’t you change your gender? This is Fódlan. It’s gotten pretty progressive, and you know nobody here at the monastery would be a dick about it, we’re all like family here, and we’ll always support each other.”

“I thank you for the sentiment, but it’s not the Golden Deer that i worry over. I’m a noble, and as such I must meet the noble standard. If I came out as ‘transgender’ it would be the biggest scandal House Goucester has ever faced. It would ruin my family.”

“I disagree, it would be a step forward. Not backward. As you remind us yourself constantly. Us nobility have to set an example for our people, we must show them what is right. Blah blah blah. If nobody in the nobility ever adopts modern ideals, then what does that teach our people about what is wrong and what is right?”

“I understand where you are coming from, ignoring your ‘blah blah blah’s’. But I don’t ever think my family would allow such ridicule. I’d probably be disowned for just thinking about changing my gender. And that would leave House Gloucester without an heir, and that would be a total disaster.”

“Hey. Who’s literally in charge of The Alliance in the first place? Me. And I have absolutely taken our country’s ideals and flipped them on their head. You think I give a shit if some stuffy nobility care that I want to unite Fódlan and the rest of the world? No. I don’t. And I wouldn’t get anywhere if I did, because The Alliance nobles are quite averse to change.”

“Well, you do realise, that it is actually important for a ruler to listen to others on his council. Secondly, these are not people who I can stand to let down, this is my father and family, I refuse to be the weak link in my noble bloodline.”

“If your father would disown you for accepting modern ideals, are you sure you’re really the ‘weak link’?”

“What!? What are you even suggesting? My father is a respectable and decent man, who although at times can be a bit of a dick, is overall a proper and honorable noble!”

“Sorry, sorry. I meant no offense, and I can tell you need some time alone, but just, think about it okay? You know that me, and the rest of the Golden Deer-

“The rest of the Golden Deer and I-

“Me and the rest of the Golden Deer, are here for you and we’ll support whatever you choose to be and do. Within reason of course.”

“Thank you Claude, I promise you that I will think about it. And I must also thank you for listening to me, through my.. Er, ungraceful freakout…”

“Hey, No problem. It happens to all of us. And, hey, come find me if you ever want to talk about anything, alright?”

“Very well, I suppose I could take you up on your offer. Good night Claude. Goddess bless.”

It was quiet, alone in his dormitory, looking out the window. There was hardly a sound, the whole monastery was silent. But Lorenz could not notice, for the thousand voices in his head, debating whether what Claude said was true… Was it? Lorenz thought, and thought, maybe the noble standard had changed. Maybe his father was wrong about tramsgender and other queer folk. Maybe he did deserve to be who he wanted. Maybe, just maybe, the world needed him as he wanted to be. No not him, maybe they needed her.

Maybe…

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thebabbzz · 5 years ago

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Advice maybe?

In all the years I've had this account I think I've only ever posted once.

In all my years having social media I think I posted on my Twitter account like 10 times my senior year of high school and my Facebook like.....4? And then my Instagram 14 ... all of my dog.

I opened these accounts when I was 18 and I'm now 25. I don't know why I never got into to posting stuff really. Well I guess I kinda do. For Instagram it's always been because I don't like the way I look. I don't like the way I photograph so I just never really had the urge to take a selfie and post it for all my 16 followers to see. For Twitter and Facebook I just never get that feeling of "Oh I gotta share this on my Facebook" or "let me tweet my opinion on this subject to Twitter" and for tumbler...imma be honest I just use it to see all that anime and gay shite I like...sooo yeah I've never posted anything until today....and that's because... it's been hard for me to smile.... and no I'm not going around with a permanent frown on my face or crying 24/7...I can smile when I greet a coworker/customer at work.. I can smile when I get a compliment I can smile at the person giving me my drive through order as they wish me a nice day....I can smile when I'm supposed to you know? But I can't remember the last time I genuinely smiled for something.... and I don't think I'm sad... I'm just stressed about my life right now and how I'm going to survive.. I know I can only take it one day at a time but I'm just lost....I feel lonely..I'm angry.. I'm scared.. I'm not ok I know that much..... and I'm saying all this hoping know one I know will ever see it... Cuz these are feeling and thoughts I could never openly share with anyone. Not my family or friends... I don't like being vulnerable with people. My stomach turns into knots and I feel like getting under my blankets to hide from the world. I don't know what point I'm trying to make... I don't have one...just rambling to myself and know one else.

I guess if anyone's reading this what do you do to make yourself feel better...at this point I'll take any ideas. And am I alone? Is there anyone else out there that feels this way? Or am I just special?

This post is just me rambling hoping it will make me feel just a little better by the end... if you've made it this far thanks? You didn't have to but I appreciate it. I don't know it feels weird sharing something's like this with strangers but I don't hate it so sorry for any misspelled words and I'm really really really sorry for all the bad grammar.

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reasonswhyimaginesmatter · 7 years ago

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Starring Role (Dacre Montgomery x Reader) pt 1

A/N: SO! I love Dacre Montgomery sooo much right now. I watched stranger things a couple months back, and instantly fell in love with it. And Dacre is pretty hot so imma a fanfiction. They’ll be in high school for this one, since I understand the atmosphere more. (And Starring Role by Marina and the diamonds is what I listened to becauseee I love her music)

Warnings: This won’t be as intense as my jughead faniction, but still have angst

I wake up to my annoying alarm clock and groan, deciding I’ll actually go to school today. Lately, I’ve been missing a lot of school. I just don’t have the motivation to go anymore. I told myself that I’ll try a little harder to balance my grades if I do miss school. I go downstairs, and get myself some strawberries for the go and get into my car.

When I get to school, I instantly put my headphones in and make my route to my locker. Don’t get me wrong, I have many friends, I just don’t like talking to people in the morning. When I get to my locker, my close friend comes up to me.

“Y/N! Have you seen the new girl? She’s sooo pretty.” C/F/N says.

I shake my head no, very uninterested. I don’t care to know about new people, unless I actually cross paths with them.

She smirked, “Well, she was with Dacre, and they looked pretty comfortable together”

My head perked up. I have a huge crush on a guy named Dacre Montgomery. He was very attractive, and we were somewhat friends. The only problem is that we hang with very different crowds. He hangs with football players and cheerleaders. I hang with literally everyone, but those people. I’m kind of cool with some football players here and there, but nothing drastic.

“How comfortable?” I asked with curiosity.

She shrugged, “Like they were just met, but clicked instantly”

I pouted and threw my head back dramatically, “They’re so going to date! My life is overrrr, C/F/N”

“They won’t date, and shut up. He talks to people about you sometimes. I can tell that there is some interest. Now stop causing a scene, people are looking at us” she says looking around smiling

I laughed and walked away. I still had 15 minutes until class started, so why not try to find the new girl. My school is so overpopulated that I could see someone who’s been going here for years, and still think that they’re new or never see them again. If I didn’t find her I wouldn’t think much of it. Coincidentally, I found her talking to Dacre at his locker.

She was extremely pretty, I can’t hate on that. She had brown, medium-short curly hair and dark brown eyes. She looks like someone who could be a living aesthetic. I don’t know what they’re talking about, but they’re laughing with each other. I felt a pang of jealousy but didn’t wanna admit it to myself. I could just go up and introduce myself. Yeah, I’ll do that.

I walk up to them both, “Hey Dacre, and hello to you. I’ve been hearing so much about you all morning that I wanted to come meet you myself. I’m Y/N.

“I’m Alessia, I don’t see why I’m already the talk of the school. You and Dacre are actually the only ones that even tried to talk to me” she explains and smiles at Dacre when she’s done.

I smile at her, “Yeah, Dacre is a pretty nice guy. When he wants to be of course”

“Hey! I’m always nice to you, Y/N. Maybe stop being so anti-social all the time. Awww, look at you! You’re blushing, you’re too cute, Y/N” he teases sticking out his tongue.

I roll my eyes at him. I honestly wish we could talk more, but I am too scared to let us get close. I don’t want to ruin anything between us when I already have a huge crush on him. He’s just perfect in my eyes.

“Anyways, so what’s your first hour?” I ask Alessia

She looks at her phone for a moment and looks up, “Computer Science”

Dacre beamed, “Me and Y/N have that too. You should sit with us”

His intentions aren’t’ supposed to bother me, but I felt a little sad that he was inviting her to sit with us. Me and Dacre have a few classes together but we never get the chance to talk in any, except for computer science. Now I’ll have to share him with Alessia and she’s already competition. Maybe I should just tell her that I have feelings for Dacre then she’ll know her limits.

We all walk to class, and Alessia sits across from me and Dacre. I still get to sit next to him so that’s a plus on my side. While our teacher was explaining, I heard Dacre and Alessia whisper to each other. I try to ignore it but it’s making me upset that it’s only this girl’s first day, and she’s getting more attention from Dacre than I ever have. I can’t blame Dacre for wanting to talk to her more. The girl is gorgeous.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Alessia questioned.

I poked my lip out and nodded my head, silently saying ‘yeah I’m good’

Dacre looked over at me concerned, “Are you sure? You look like you’re about to start crying”

That’s when I lost it and tears started welling up in my eyes. I hated crying in front of people, so I quickly raised my hand.

“Yes, Y/N?” my teacher asked me.

“Can I please go to the bathroom?” I asked glumly

He looked at me puzzled but told me I can go. I got up in a dash and ran to the bathroom. When I got in my tears started falling quickly. I was just letting this all get to me a little too easily but it’s hard to watch someone that you’re in love with, flirt with someone else right in front of you.

I hear the door open and quickly tried to dry my tears before someone I knew came in.

Alessia appeared behind me with open arms, “Are you okay? Me and Dacre got really worried about you. I feel like there’s more to this story and I really wanna be here for you. Just talk to me.

“I like Dacre” I blurted out not caring anymore, “I don’t know what got over me, but seeing you two flirt got me so heated and I don’t know what else to do about it”

“Y/N, st-” she started, but I cut her off, “Alessia, I’m not trying to be rude, but can you stop flirting with him? I’d appreciate it. Thanks”

I open the door without a response and felt my heart drop. Dacre was standing there with a shocked look on his face.

“I uh, heard what you said. I’m really sorry” he says looking into my eyes.

I felt tears coming again. I felt completely crushed. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. Alessia walked up to us and looked at me with sad eyes. It almost feels like a joke. To think that I actually had a chance with him.

I start crying, “I should go”

“Y/N, wait” he grabs my wrists

I snatch my arm away, “You don’t love me, big fucking deal. I’ll never tell you how I feel.”

I walk away. It hurts to think that you’re more important to someone than you actually are. I just wanted him and now I’m just hurt. Is this what it feels like to have your heart broken?

It almost feels like a joke to play out the part, when you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart.

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seventeen-teen-teen-trash · 7 years ago

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I DIDN'T FINISHED BUT I STARTED CRYING WHEN I SAW JOSHUA SAYING THAT HE WANTED TO CHANGE BC HE KNOW THAT GIRL LOOK I'M ON MY PERIOD I'M EMOTIONAL AS SHIT AND I'M CRYING NOW IDK WTF IS HAPPENING BUT I LOVE JOSHUA AND I'M CRYING

LMAO I LOVE YOU. glad you’re enjoying the series.

Anonymous said:I was listening to Back 2 U right as you posted the last part and for some reason I got real emotional and scared but tbh the ending was sOoo cUTE ahh my heart💓 -bubblegum anon

awwwwwww i’m so glad you liked it!!!!

@yourprettywonu said:I. AM. SOFT. AF. OMG WHERE DO I GET A BOYFRIEND LIKE VERNON SERIOUSLY

LMAO RIGHT. HE’S AMAZING TBH.

Anonymous said:OMG THIS ENDING! I KNEW HE CALLED HER CINNAMON BECAUSE OF THAT! OMG I LOVE YOUR AUS - Tattoo anon

YES SHE IS SPICY AF. I’m so glad you like them :’)

@xuhoon said:COCO DESERVED THE OSCAR

YES IT DID

@aspiring-ssr-agent said:That was a super sweet ending and I love you and your aus 😘😘😘 -loyal mingyu stan

I love you too!! so!!! much!!! thank you!!!

Anonymous said:I HAVE COME TO YOUR HUMBLE BLOG TO TELL YOU YOUR COLLEGE AU'S ARE WHAT KEEPS ME GOING OKAY AND I CAN'T WAIT TO READ JOSHUA'S AND DAMN THAT "I want to change" MESSAGE FROM HIM IS MY KIND OF SHIT I CANNOT WAIT AAAAHHHH BEST OF LUCK TO YOUUUUU (also, I have watched Coco three times and I'm still a bawling mess everytime)

THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHH. JOSHUA’S AU IS GONNA BE GREAT. :-) wow Coco is a good movie I’m cry again.

Anonymous said:NOW I'M CRYING BC VERNON IS CUTE AND I LOVE VERNON AND CINNAMON'S RELATIONSHIP AND BC THE NEXT ONE IS JOSHUA AND HE SAID HE'S IN LOVE WITH THAT GIRL AND VERNON WAS LIKE "you've met a lot of girls" anD THEN JOSHUA LIKE "no, she's different" LIKE HE'S WANTS TO CHANGE FOR HER AND BC SHE'S DIFFERENT LIKE SHE ISN'T JUST A SIMPLE GIRL SHE'S HIS GIRL AND HE WANTS TO CHANGE PROBABLY TO PROVE THAT HE'S A GOOD GUY AND HE LOVED HER I'M CRYING I'M SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW DON'T TOUCH ME HELP WOW HOLD ME PLS

AWWWWW YES YES. JOSHUA’S AU...... GET READY.

Anonymous said:AHHH THE ENDING TO THE AU 😭😭😭 ahh yes sappy love, making my heart flutter so much. I feel like imma get a murmur while reading your stories tbh 😂 now i need to mentally prepare myself for Josh........... -sleepy anon❤️❤️

awwwwww that’s so cute. Good thing you have a couple of days to prepare yourself, huh? ;)

Anonymous said:that was so cute i'm getting cavities. i'm sad vernon's au is ending but they deserve that ending and i'm excited for joshua's. my seventeen season's greeting calendar is telling me to stan joshua but i still really love wonwoo hahaha also i went to an ice cream date with my crush last week hahaha omg but i had the strawberry and he had vanilla and i also called him boring lmao my feels rip

awwww yes. hahaha. :-) and that’s so cute wtf omgomg. what a coincidence.

Anonymous said:can you feel the love tonight~~

@ lion king. wow now i’m thinking about my au’s as animals. pls help

Anonymous said:This was sO SWEET OMFG I LOVE YOUR AUS SO MUCH!!! (lmao do you get my pun 😁) Get some rest tho you really deserve it before you start Josh’s!!!

thank you so much bby. :-) I’m gonna rest lots don’t worry :’)

@myg-mochi said:the update was so cute :’) im kind of sad it’s over but ayyyeeeee joshua’s is next so there’s something to look forward too ::)))

awwwww thank you bby. and yes :’) Joshua’s to come.

@pinksugamonster said:IM READY FOR MY LIVE SAVIOR JISOOS HONG AU 😊

ME TOOOOOO

@blinksindahouse said:aww that was so cute

so glad you liked it :’)

@adorekkyun said:That. Was great -chan stan

I’m. so happy :’)

@givemeaniwachan said:THE LAST PART IS SO CUTE AND JOSH IS CHANGING HIS FUCKBOI WAYS???? I’M EXCITED FOR JOSH’S AU.

SAME. YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LIKE IT I JUST KNOW.

@helllodarling said:I live for fluff and all things not involving Chaeyeon

a mood. same tho

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artemiss-draws · 7 years ago

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How I Learned of Asexuality (And My Journey With It):

Asexuality is slightly covered in a fog of misunderstanding and confusion, as is most, if not all, of the LGBTQ+ community. In this post I will explain my own journey/type of asexuality as well as knocking down some negative things that I’ve heard people say towards asexuality. Read on if you’re curious about it, starting to question your own sexuality, or are simply a fellow asexual/LGBTQ+ community member who want to find more people like them or just want to see what other people are like.

Let’s begin! I identify as Asexual (and lean towards panromantic as well).

Imma first explain the Ace part (*Ace is a shortened term for asexual :)*).

What does asexual mean? Well I’m glad you asked! It means that sex doesn’t really appeal to me (like, with anyone). Honestly I’d rather eat dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets with mis-matched fuzzy socks on while wrapped in a warm blanket watching my favorite tv show. Asexuality is different for everyone, some are staunchly against everything physical, some like limited physical activity, and there are even asexuals who DO have sex. There’s different labels for all of that. If you have some questions on that, I would suggest looking up the Ace spectrum, which ranges from demisexual (you need to have a deep emotional connection to someone if you do end up having sex) all the way to Aromantic-Asexual (Which means that they aren’t romantically or physically attracted to people usually at all) and there’s everything inbetween and beyond. Again, it’s different for everyone.

Personally, I do like cuddling and sometimes kissing (Idk tho since I’ve never kissed anyone) but for the most part, I don’t think about sex or really find it to be something I want to do. It does interest me in the aspect that its a form of showing love for a person, but I don’t really want to do it. I find that it makes me slightly grey-ace (which from what I understand, is like a sort of questioning ace, who doesn’t really have strict guidelines on their sexuality- which is okay either way, strict or non strict).

*Sidenote, this may change in the future. I see sexuality as something that’s fluid, so hey, maybe I might find myself identifying as something else as my life goes on. But for now, it’s a strong no thank you. *

You may have remembered that I mentioned panromantic, right? Well that means that I do have *crushes*, if you will. This includes celebrity crushes- for example, Tom Holland is gorgeous, Ruby Rose is an ethereal being, and Emma Watson is perfection. I think those people are absolutely stunning and even hot, but I don’t really want to do anything with them. I basically find people of all genders attractive af. There’s even people at my school who I find to be gorgeous af (it may just be their hair though… I’ll find out more as I go lol).

But that’s as far as it goes (people look pretty and I’d love to hug them, but most anything else is a no).

Now onto how I found out I was Asexual! Asexuality wasn’t something I was aware of until my freshman year of highschool. I had picked up Tumblr again, and I was starting to see a lot of LGBTQ awareness posts. I saw myself as an ally, but not much else. I remember seeing a post of all the different flags, and the Asexual one really stood out to me (I don’t know how I feel about the fact that I learned of asexuality because I found the flag to be pretty, but for now I try not to think of myself as false because of it). I researched the flag and started to learn about it.

At first I didn’t really think about how similar it was to how I felt. Honestly, I only really kept the knowledge because a friend of mine had come out as Asexual and I wanted to learn more. Over time, I started to realize that I identified as this, but I only really recently came out to friends because of the multiple comments and things that I heard and read that put asexuality down as fake.

I honestly felt like I was a fraud who was trying to insert themselves into the LGBTQ community when I didn’t need to. My best friend came out as nonbinary and pansexual, and honestly they truly helped me to become okay with the fact that I was ace.

My parents are another story, though. My parents are rather accepting of the LGBTQ community compared to the rest of society, and my mother has even told me she’s okay if I’m gay or bi. She even makes sure to use the right pronouns with my friends. But, and of course there’s a but, when I told her I was Asexual she immediately denied it.

She refuses to believe that it’s a thing and tells me I don’t need labels because that’s just sad. I’ve cried more than once over this. I can see how hard she tries, but it still feels like a punch to the gut when you’re not allowed to be the way you are around family.

My mom gets that I’m not really interested in relationships and she even defends me when my romance obsessed grandmother hounds me for information about any possible relationships I’ve had without her knowledge (still none, grandma. Please let me eat my chicken nuggets in peace). But her lack of knowledge about asexuality seems to make her doubt it being a thing.

I’ve told myself that there are others who have had it worse, and that at least my friends accept me, but it would be nice to live in a perfect world where I am fully accepted.

And to everyone reading this far, not only am I impressed, but I’m always here to talk. Literally send me a dm about ANYTHING and I will immediately jump in and start talking even if I don’t know a thing about it. I will research if I have to.

Matt just fucked everything up? Tell me more about what this idiot did and I will totally listen to you about FuCkInG SHitTy AsS MaTt. Your favorite character just died a fiery death? Give me a sec to research it and THEN IM DOWN TO RANT WITH YOU. I accept everyone, because so many people don’t, and I think there needs to be a push towards this.

Now onto the quotes I have taken from people that have been said to me and my own rebuttals-

To people who have told me I can’t be asexual and that “I need to choose a real sexuality”, Why can’t I be asexual?

“You’re too young to know” Okay, so fucking what? Being straight is as much of a choice as ace and everyone seems to accept straightness in whatever age sooo….

“You can’t just say neither!”(when talking about homo/hetero sexuality) Why not? Why does my sexuality concern you to this point?

“I thought the same way when I was your age, but I know better now.” That’s great, but sexuality is fluid. You aren’t me and I’m not you. Let me choose.

“It’s so sad you feel like you need labels.” The only reason I use labels is because I can relate to others like me and find a place for myself to fit with. (And isn’t straight a label? Just because you’re considered normal and don’t need to outright state your sexuality doesn’t mean you’re unlabeled so back the heck up and keep your heteronormative comments to yourself please and thank you).

“You haven’t even had sex anyway so how do you know?” Well, I think to myself, “does this appeal to me?” and guess what??? The answer is NO! Look, nothing past kissing and cuddling has ever really sounded attractive to me, and just because I’m 16 doesn’t mean that I have no clue what I’m talking about.

“But you like [insert name here]!” Yeah, they’re cute as fuck, but I’m not down to bang. Just sayin.

“Don’t you want kids?” Look my dude, there are so many ways now and even more will be created in the future for me to have a kid and not do the do to get it there. Pregnancy scares the living shit out of me anyway sooo. Moving on.

“That’s not even a thing.” Yes, it kinda is. There’s even famous people who identify as Asexual. Legit do some research it’s actually really interesting. Isaac Newton? Physics over physicality. (I just cracked my self up at that one haha). Anyway, historians are p sure he was Asexual.

In the end, I’m just me. Art nerd who loves sports and comics and the oddest combination of foods you could imagine. The fact that I’m asexual is just that. Another fact. And for anyone questioning if they might identify as a form of Ace, it’s okay if you later find out you’re something different. It’s okay to be Ace as well. It doesn’t define you, but it can help shape your life. If you think no one is going to accept you, just know the world is full of people who will, you just gotta find ‘em.

Whatever makes you the happiest is what you should strive for. I encourage you all to do some research! Get out there and learn! Because the more you learn, the less you fear the unknown and can finally be happy.

Toodles!

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vamprefaggot · 7 years ago

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logan i was just wondering. how do you know who you are? like everyones always asking. why dont you have a boyfriend or girlfreind yet and idk i can find people attractive but dont ever like them until ive been at least freinds for years. -11

(imma stick it under a cut bc idk if other people want this on their dash and its rlly long)

sooo basically i was raised in a rlly good environment so there was only one or two points in time where i definitively thought i was straight so i never had that on top of it if that makes sense? like no internalised homophobia to struggle with so on that count i was hella lucky and then my mum sent me to a rlly weird extended sex-ed thing in the basement of a church for two months so i know a Lot of sex ed shit(if you ever have questions n shit i know Too Much) so that definitely helped and i’m including this for a reason bc i feel like you need backstory

my best friend for a few years had two dads(russ and joe) and two moms(mitzi and i think jenny) russ and joe were hella dope and in love and i adore them still even tho i never see them(i actually saw russ recently and he hasn’t changed a bit it was nice) so i was raised with gay people actually present so it was completely normalised to me(mitzi and jenny h a t e d me bc they thought i’d turn jax gay which is really sad now that i’m thinking about it)

and while all that did help it wasn’t until someone said to me, jokingly, “you’re as straight as a straight man” that i kinda just realised that ‘holy shit, that’s true, i’m not straight’. that was like,, early last yearish? before last halloween, bc on that halloween i met the first person i ever actually, genuinely wanted to fuck: a chick whos name we’re gonna pretend is tara. taller than me, blonde, made a ton of dick jokes, and called me her wife and that was the definitive moment that it just kinda struck home that i was a lesbian.

of course, that’s only one of the million labels i use bc i love labels(and colour coding but that’s not relevant). i’m demiromantic, and i really struggled with that one a lot because i didn’t want to be aromantic. i’d never felt romantic attraction, and while i loved the concept of it, there were a lot of other things going on at the time that made it really hard for me to think that romantic attraction was gonna happen for me. then a girl called lavender stumbled into my life, i fell head over heels and i think she liked me too bc god knows we planned out a lot of dates so i started considering that i was demi because we were friends first and we never progressed past that because her parents made her stop talking to me. and now i have prim, and for the first little bit of our friendship i had so many problems because i was worried that she was gonna replace lav(she hasn’t and i adore her so much) but that’s passed thankfully and?? i’m here now.

agenderflux is still a thing that i’m not sure about but it fits the best for me right now. i originally labelled myself as feminine nonbinary, but that doesn’t really fit? i have never felt particularly feminine in any sense of the word, but nor have i felt masculine, and i dont particularly like the label ‘nonbinary’ for myself. its not that its a bad label, its just not me. i did a lot of googling, and i say agenderflux bc sometimes i feel a little more masc or fem than other times.

idk it depends on a lot of factors and you dont have to figure it out immediately if you dont want to!! i’m always here if you wanna ask abt terms and things bc i have done a Lot of research(when i was supposed to be doing school woops) and like if you just wanna talk i’m here n queer n bad at responding but i’ll try my best and like?? sometimes it takes people longer than others its so weird seeing some of the thirteen year olds on here already all figures out bc at thirteen i wa a blob with no friends pretending to have a crush on some kid i’ve known for years bc it was the straight thing to do and i’m still kinda figuring out stuff like i promised myself i’d never do long distance bc “too much work” but i have prim and she’s hella worth it :’)) idk life is long you have time to figure it out i promise and i’m always here if you need and i know plenty of other people are too(idk i hope that helps love but!! dont stress yourself out abt it, it took me two years to come to terms w/ all the labels i use its not immediate and it’ll all turn out good i swear)

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demon-sneeze · 8 years ago

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Supernatural Survey

I was tagged by @wayward-mirage Love you!! I spent waaaayy too much time on this!

1. What season did you start watching Supernatural?

In-between s11 and s12. I binged it all in 4 weeks while also going to band camp during the days. Needless to say, it was one of the most exhausting , unhealthy times of my life. And I wouldn't trade it for the world :)

2. Who was the first character you fell in love with?

Probably Sam, but the whole first 3 seasons I was waiting for Cas to show up. I knew he would be a major character and I was 100% ready to give my fangirl soul to him. Funny story, I remember watching Lazarus Rising for the first time and I saw Misha Collins’s name. I was like, “she sounds familiar, who’s she?” so I paused the episode and looked up the name. I was like, “Oh, Misha’s a boy. And he plays Castiel! okay then.”

3. Who was a character that you hated at first but grew to love?

Probably Meg, I can’t say I LOVE her now, but I went from hating her to liking her pretty well.

4. Which character would you most want to be in a long-term relationship with?

The real question is “Which character WOULD’NT I most want to be in a long-term relationship with!” There’s a lot of benefits to each one. Like think about how great it would be to have Gabriel around when you’re on your period. All the chocolate you could ever want, a heat pack that never cools, and he would TOTALLY be a cuddler.

5. If you could go on just one date with one character, which one would you choose?

Crowley. You may be thinking, why him?! I’ll tell ya, it because think of all the fancy crap that date would consist of. Fancy dinner, fancy clothes.. ect. it’d be so fun! Plus think of all the flirting and pet names!

6. What would you do on the date?

Either an expensive restaurant or a dance of some kind.

7. Which character would you most want to be like?

Probably Sammy, forgiving, compassionate, loyal, brave, humble.. just so much to love about Sam.

8. Which character would you most like to see brought back from the dead?

GABE THE BABE

9. Which character would you most like to punch?

Stealing wayward-mirage’s answer! Metatron!

10. Who is your absolute favorite character?

THIS ONE IS SOOO DIFFICULT BECAUSE I HAVE LIKE FOUR MAIN FAVES. Imma break the rules and tell you my top four. In reality they all share the number one spot. Castiel, Gabriel, Lucifer and Crowley.

11. Which “Big Bad” do you think was the worst?

Dick Roman. He had no real motivation besides wanting to take over the world. That being said, I liked the lore behind his character and I actually enjoyed season 7. it was like a breath of fresh air and really broke the mold. Plus, the Hallucifer stuff was GOLD. The only thing I didn't like about it was the fact that Cas was barely in it at all. “Real” Cas anyway. Crazy!Cas just made me kinda sad.

12. Which character are you most like?

Probably Jo or Charlie. Nerdy like Charlie and the “brave even when you’re scared” “If this is my last night on earth, I’m gonna spend it with a little something called self-respect” attitude. Also dean because I hate myself I mean what.

13. What death hit you the hardest?

Cas at the end of s6/beginning of s7, and most recently, Crowley. Gabe in 5.19 also still hurts REALLY bad. (the death scream)

14. What season finale hit you the hardest?

S12 as it was my first watching live.

15. What are your ten all-time favorite episodes?

(You’re gonna see my Gabe favoritism REAL bad here.)

1) Changing Channels

2) Mystery Spot

3) Stuck in the Middle (With You)

4) Tall Tales

5) Don’t Call Me Shurley

6) Swan Song

7) Fan Fiction

8) The French Mistake

9) Weekend at Bobby’s

10) Repo Man

16. What’s been your favorite season?

Season 5 but season 7 is actually one of my faves.

17. Who is your favorite angel?

Castiel, Gabe and Lucifer are my faves. I can’t pick just one.

18. Who’s your favorite demon?

Crowley obviously. lol

19. Who’s your favorite evil character?

What counts as an evil character? That's the true question. I think my favorite “evil” character is Lucifer.

20. Do you have any Supernatural ships?

Destiel, Sam/Elieen, Sam/the golden retriever from Dark Side of the Moon (jk XD) a lil bit of Sastiel and Samifer. (don't shoot me)

21. Who’s your favorite supporting actor?

Rob Benedict and Richard Speight Jr. are my favorite actors on the whole show.

22. What’s your favorite quote from the show?

“Yes, well... before I was very self assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path, it's just people trying to do their best in a world where is far to easy to do your worst.” - Castiel

That quote is from 10.9 The Things We Left Behind.

23. If you could cast one famous actor in an episode of SPN, who would you chose?

Norman Reedus. I love him in TWD, my mom loves him there too, and hes already got connections with Misha and JDM. It’d be a perfect fit.

24. If you could write your own episode, what kind of creature would you like to see included?

The Rake. Think of how fricking terrifying that would be.

25. Who’s your favorite girl that Dean’s hooked up with?

Lisa maybe? Although it became more than just a “hook-up” later on.

26. Who’s your favorite girl that Sam’s hooked up with?

The chick who believed in aliens from Clap Your Hands If You Believe.

27. What are some of your favorite convention moments?

That time when the little girl, Piper, asked Mark S. what Crowley sold his soul for. Anything karaoke. That time Jensen and Misha showed their underwear to each other.

28. If you were going to guest star (or be a recurring guest star) on SPN, how would you want your character described?

A fangirl who falls from our world into theirs but is sensible unlike Becky. More of a Charlie kind of character. I’d basically want to be me. Unlike most fans, I actually think I would make a pretty good hunter.

29. What do you hope to see in the next season?

Destiel. Crowley.

30.-40. If you had to choose…

Bobby or John? Bobby

Bela or Ruby? Bela

Jess or Madison? Jess

Jo or Lisa? Jo

Charlie or Kevin? Charlie

Balthazar or Ash? Balthazar

Cas or Crowley? *brain blue-screens*

Ben or Claire? Claire

Jody or Donna? Jody, but mostly because we see her more.

Sam or Dean? It fluctuates between each season. RN its Sam.

Tagging: @waywardswain @tiny-gay-munchkin @adam-isstillinhell @raindestiel (if you don't want to you don't have to though ^_^)

#tag game

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viperssvenom · 8 years ago

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Slept over baby boy’s Friday and Saturday. I wasn’t supposed to sleep over but I got to and I’m so happy I did. Friday night we watched some basketball, cuddled, and talked about my blog. I also let him go through my notes and bby boy found the note with all of my dreams and he saw the 4/19/17 one. We talked about it for a while, and then he said I love you first. I almost actually cried lmao. he said it again when we were kissing and said how good it felt to say it, and I agreed, I love you so much baby boy. He also told how he knew he loved me from the day we went to Bella and when he walked me home and I called him to make sure he was okay. After talking about that, I showed him some of my blog. I told him up to the picture of us and he went like two posts past that lmaoooo. AHHH he also read my notes for him, w/ the list of why he’s the bestest and he read what I wrote about him “settling” and he told me he wasnt just “setting” for me. He told me that even if he was, he wouldn’t want to be with anyone else anyways. I don’t remember much of what else happened, but I think we just went to sleep after that. I love sleeping next to baby boy so much 😭. I love that whenever we sleep together we have to hold hands, not just one, but both hands lmao. I also love waking up next to him, it feels so nice lol. But when we woke up, the first thing we did was watch get out. The movie wasn’t as good as it was hyped up to be, and it was a lot funnier than it was scary, but it’s categorized as horror??!? but then, we watched Star Wars: ep VII with Philip, and it was a pretty good movie. Finally met bb-8 tho, he’s (??) so cute lmao. But we fell asleep during the middle of the movie :) I was out like a light lmaoo. But when I woke up we finished watching Star Wars, then we went to get Wendy’s and I swear it wasn’t raining when we were walking to Wendy’s, but it definitely was raining when we were walking back. lmao, ray if you’re reading this, I’m not taking that back! Love you thooo. We went outside for a while after he got Philip into bed. I could tell he was upset, so I just hugged him and let him talk when he was ready. I’m not going to lie, it was hard for me to listen to him because I wanted/ want to help and i didn’t know how to. For now, the most I can do is keep baby boy calm when I can, and talk to Philip and check up on him when I can. Saturday night, we went to sleep very late again lmao. baby boy gave me space to do my homework, so I worked on that until like 1 am. After that, baby boy suggested to practice dancing, and I refused bc I cannot dance lmaoo, so then he asked me what I wanted to do and I suggested a scary movie, but he didn’t want to watch one 😭😭 but then I remembered he said we would watch a Jenna marbles’ video, so thats what we did. He still didn’t laugh as much, smh. but after that, he also still didn’t want to watch a scary movie, so I asked him what he wanted to do and he said go through his tag 😭😭 but I let him anyways lmao. I told him not to comment on anything, and he did anyways lmao. basically he said he felt the same for most of what I wrote. and idk, it just feels nice to have finally shown him, but at the same time very embarrassing lmao. After he read everything, he went through his tag again and commented on stuff esp parts where I talked down on myself. But before that, I’m pretty sure we talked about him overthinking, and how he worries that maybe we’re just getting along because he’s my first and that he’s afraid someone might come along and do it better. But, I just want him to know that I love him so much for reasons I can’t explain. I just love him for him, maybe one day I will be able to explain it though, because I want him to know why I do. and there is no one on this earth that I would rather be with, spend my weekends with, walk around town for closed ice cream shops, FaceTime late at night, and sleep next to. After talking about his insecurities, we talked about mine, most importantly my stomach. He told me my body is beautiful, and I know he thinks that and wants me to remember that, and I will remember that, but I want to be able to accept my body without needing other people’s opinions about it and needing other people to compliment me for me to feel good about myself. Bc I was sitting facing him, he laid me down and pulled my shirt up to show me that my stomach was literally nothing, I still don’t feel like it’s nothing, but I have been feeling better about it since. Also, he had his hand on my stomach when he said it, and it felt nice. I love whenever he puts his hands on my stomach or my back, it just feels really nice lmaoo. but then after that we both agreed not to talk about poopy stuff anymore so he suggested dancing again and I told him I would dance if it was on the couch, so we danced while sitting on the couch lmaooo. he let me play my music so I played some songs off of digital druglord, ballerina by belly, some of his songs of choice, and then cherry hill by russ 👀😜 LMAO. towards the end of the song we started to kiss and then it got pretty intense (in a good way). he felt my boobs and kept asking me if it was okay and I told him yes everytime, but he was still nervous lmao. At first it did feel weird bc it was new for the both of us lmaooo. but after a while I got used to it and it felt nice, mostly bc I love having his hands on me. he told me like twice to move my hands lmaoooooo, I didnt want to move them because I didnt want to let go of him lmao. but he laid me down a few times and each time he did, I could feel how fast his heart was beating, I was going to point it out but I didnt because I didnt want to ruin the moment, plus I love listening to his heart beat, esp when we’re just chilling. But anywayss, yeah so we were getting pretty into it and at one point he lifted up my shirt and asked me if it was okay, I said yes and then he proceeded to kiss my boobs lol, it was nice but also awkward, so we just laughed it out lmao. but thats basically what we did for like 45 minutes lmaoo. During that time though, he also kept asking me how far and I didnt know what to say, and I still dont lmao, but he said that sex was not an option and honestly I am relieved he clarified that lmao. But after that, I sat on his lap again and then we talked about how we might not get that kind of chance again because its going to be harder to slip away and sleep over his house once ate is outtie :(. But then we went to sleep, and all I can remember is laying on top of him and then falling asleep like that and then sometime in between that switching back to our normal position lmao. Last night when we were talking about consent and everything, he told me how he wanted to be transparent about everything between us, and I appreciate it so much. like he’s not afraid to talk about anything with me, and I wish it was as easy for me to talk to him about things as it is for him to talk to me. Also bby boy said how he thinks there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, regarding his tag, but uhhh it’s pretty corny sooo yaah also, he commented on the post where I said he is out of my league and told me it was the other way around, but false because he’s too lovely he also said how he’s considered dating me even before Matt’s party, but like I can’t imagine why before Matt’s party bc I don’t think id ever really spent time with him before then

On Sunday morning though, I woke up to him holding my face and also felt him trying to hold my hands. I also love when he does that because I love knowing he’s there even if I am already laying down next to him. he asked me what the best part of waking up was and I said I don’t know and he said waking up next to me 😭😭😭 I don’t remember what else happened but I remember him asking to send himself some posts so I let him and he said that he’d consider starting to write stuff too. When he was going through my blog, he saw the post about the phone call from when we went to the diner, and he said how he did say “love you” 😭😭 ALSO HE COMMENTED ON THE POST WHERE I SAID HIS VOICE IS SEXY LMAOO and then teased me about the abs post, boy I should have never posted it lmaooo. but then we chilled for a little bit, and watched one punch man, and I got hungry before we were supposed to leave so I asked to eat and we made lo mein, and ah the asian jokes will never get old lmaoo. but we ate and watched some more Star Wars. while we were eating though I saw him picking at his thumb and I saw how bad it was (the worst I have seen it yet) and I got worried and tried to get him to stop but he said he does it whenever he’s stressed, so I left him to it for a little bit, but then he kept picking at it more and I got upset and tried not to stress but got really sad when he said it was time to go home, I don’t know why but those words just triggered something to make me really sad, not about going home but more of leaving baby boy. he pulled me into the kitchen and I couldn’t pull myself to tell him what was on my mind. I told him we should start going, but he said he wasn’t moving until I told him so we just stood there in each other’s arms for a while. and I tried to go into the living room again, but he sat down and pulled me to him so we just stayed there for a while again. But I still couldn’t tell him, so I went into the living room and I got my stuff ready and put the dishes in the sink and walked over to baby boy again. He got up tho bc I tried to walk away again and told him that it was nothing, but then he told me that I was killing him by not telling him and that hurt me a little so I hugged him and he let me write out what was bothering me, which was his thumb and how it just felt like a minor form of self harm to me. But he told me that it was nothing to worry about and how its been like that since he could remember, but it still worries me. after we got that over with though, we starting walking to my house. I still think my way is faster but imma let bby boy rock lmaoo. but we got to mcquillan and I still didnt want to leave him but he’s going to be outtie at the end of this week and I will get to see him on Friday so I feel a little better about that. but that was my weekend, pretty much a rollercoaster of everything lmao.

oo also, he also pointed out how I called him baby boy on my posts even before we established it lmaoooo oops also there was a point before we talked about our insecurities where we talked about uuuuhhhhhhhhhh (forgotti what I was going to say) oo, but we do pretty much have our handshake down tho, its litttyy also going through his phone was really nice. to see that he saves legit every picture he takes of me/ we take together lmao he said he could tell I was dreaming, but honestly I can’t remember lmaooo walked me home, when I got home, I jumped into bed and hugged my body pillow. closed my eyes for a few and thought I was still at baby boys :/ he also plays with my earrings, I don’t know why or how but it makes me happy lmao Also I love looking into his eyes just bc their beautiful lmao ahhhh we also talked about college difficulties, like how its going to be a lot harder to see each other but he said we would figure it out and said he’d even take the train for me :// also every time I say “ow” he apologizes even tho like he knows he only “hit” me lightly, idk why but I think its funny lmao he’s only “thi” lmaooo also baby boy wrote his own <3 lol i shall go into further detail in other post, maybeee…. baby boy also made sure that we didnt go to sleep without saying I love you to each other <3 after crying about myself baby boy kissed me and I told him how he had just kissed snot and idk it was just really cute because he would literally do anything/ risk anything just to kiss me when he can lmao also there was a point when ray walked downstairs shirtless and I looked up and it was awkward bc he just goes “hey” and was like “hi” but in my head I was going “asdfghjjk oooo dsddyy ???!!!!!!! 👀👀” LMFAOOO Im going to get teased about this too when he reads this 😭 baby boy also pointed out the old spice post lmfaooo. And then he also pointed out the “you feel like home” post and when we were hugging, he said “this is home” 😢😢😢😢😢 after we told each other I love you, baby boy was like if I had known this all along I would have checked your phone a long time ago 😭

I love you so so much baby boy

#p #r #5/5-7/17 #long post #:)#date

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joseph-joestar-plz-twerk-4-me · 8 years ago

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eyy i was tagged by @lancekoganee, @lovelylangst, and @fictionismynationality for the 92 truths thing so here it issss

LAST… [1] drink: dr pepper [2] phone call: uh well the last like 5 people to call me were spam numbers but the last i actually talked on was with my sister [3] text message: bff callie [4] song you listened to: just one yesterday by fall out boy [5] time you cried: a few hours ago when i remembered my characters name in the demi episode game that i played a year and a half ago was “whipe dat azz”

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: unfortunately yes [7] been cheated on: no [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no [9] lost someone special: ?? im not sure bc there’s a lot of people who used to be special but the friendship either imploded or slowly died sooo [10] been depressed: no [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no lol i am rather pure for my age lmao

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: [12] dark green [13] pastel pink [14] that blue that looks really good in velvet

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yeah! [16] fallen out of love: yes? im not sure if it was love to begin w sooo [17] laughed until you cried: bruh i did like 3 hours ago lol [18] found out someone was talking about you: yeah apparently im “famous” at best buy bc my coworker (who also works there) was telling his coworkers about shenanigans him and i get into [19] met someone who changed you: yee [20] found out who your true friends are: yeah. ive cut out a lot of people but its for the better [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: not currently lol (my current bf isnt my friend on facebook lmao)

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them tbh, but i need to go through and clean out my friends list [23] do you have any pets: 3 cats and a doggo [24] do you want to change your name: nah but a nickname would be cool [25] what did you do for your last birthday: i didnt work i saw Fantastic Beasts in the morn and had lunch w my bf, then hung out w my friends and had dinner w them and the fam, went home and played sims [26] what time did you wake up: 7-730ish am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: coming home from work/starting precal hw [28] name something you cannot wait for: obviously voltron season 3 but i also want to jsut get thru the next few weeks bc work is going to be a n i g h t m a r e and i want my suffering to be over asap [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: 2 hours ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: honestly i would go back in time and tell little middle school me to try out for region (bc i honestly believe if i had just had a year or two more expirience auditioning, then i wouldve made the all state choir) and then go to junior yr me and say “stop being an angry ho and c a l m d o w n . i wish i could go back a year from today and tell myself that the management position is not worth it. to find another job while i can. (however, i use my job as motivation to do well in school: “do well, keep up my gpa, get my degree. i dont want to be at the movie theater forever”) [31] what are you listening to right now: my klance playlist (death of a bachelor is currently playing) [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ive talked to a tommy and someone whos last name is toms [33] something that is getting on your nerves: anything customer related/ “can an available manager come to the stand for an employee purchase” [34] most visited website: college homepage, math hw website, tumblr, gmail, netflix (recently made my friend watch voltron every MWF after out speech class lol) [35] elementary: my awkward acne/glasses/pre-braces/braces phase. also i wore training bras for 3 yrs bc i was so uncomfortable w my boobs that i couldnt tell my mom i needed an actual bra [36] high school: i can look at pictures and tell by my smile where i lost my childish innocence (halfway thru junior yr) [37] college: community rn, but i plan on transfering to tamu and getting at least a bachelors in environmental science. i have to research into carriers to see if a masters/phd is worth it, but that is something im interested in [38] hair color: blonde when clean [39] long or short hair: the question of the century. i look good w a lob, but i also love braiding hair sooo [40] do you have a crush on someone: i mean i have a crush on my bf lance [41] what do you like about yourself: i guess im funny. i can sing the whole danny phantom theme song [42] piercings: triples in each ear, helix and double forward helix in my right ear (planning on getting a faux snug in my left ear eventually. id like a nose ring, but work wont let me. i maybe want a belly button ring, if i decide to work out for it lol as if) [43]blood type: i dunno, but looking at it makes me queasy so [44] nickname: maycakers, big titty t, mak [45] relationship status: long term relationship (idk how many months now but its over 2 yrs so) [46] zodiac sign: scorpio [47] pronouns: she/her. [48] fav tv show: voltron, avatar the last airbender (im laughing i typed “airbeder” at firs), the office, drake and josh [49] tattoos: never (ill stick w piercings) [50] right or left hand: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: does having a wart dug out of my toe count [52] piercing: the standard single pair when i was 6 [53] best friend: aaliyah but once we got to middle school we didnt have classes together and i didnt see her much in highschool (i heard about her bc she broke a lot of sports records. shes gonna be an olympian in 2020 y’all. i can feel it) [54] sport: does drill team count [55] vacation: we went to the state capitol w my grandparents [56] pair of trainers: wtf are trainers

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing bc my stomach is currently revolting [58] drinking: grape powerade [59] i’m about to: take a nap gd im tired [60] listening to: euphoria by loreen [61] waiting for: sleep to take me [62] want: my period back ache to stop [63] get married: i want to get married so bad i want to be super domestic and have a bb and that kid is gonna recycle EVERYTHING and i will love them [64] career: ecologist? environmental researcher? environmental biologist? agricultural reformer? idk i just want to do something w the environment

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: eyes are pretty [67] shorter or taller: taller bc then ur head is in their chest when u hug. or u have to get on tippy toes to kiss. yes. [68] older or younger: older older older [70] nice arms or nice stomach: yknow stomaches are nice and all but u cant see them bc shirts. u can see arms tho ohmy [71] sensitive or loud: idk im loud so [72] hook up or relationship: relationship ftw. hook ups sound...really gross to me (my ace ass cant fathom hookups lol) [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? ew no [75] drank hard liquor? the only thing ive ever drank ever is a shot of cherry sake (i spit that back out it was gross) and a shot of goldschlager (which cleared sinuses i didnt know i had and made me reaaaalllly giggly) [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? lmao all the time [77] turned someone down: yeah [78] sex on first date? no [79] broken someone’s heart? yes [80] had your own heart broken? not really? i felt sad both times i broke up w my ex but i knew it was for the best [81] been arrested? no but ive had someone threaten me w calling the cops [82] cried when someone died? my granny, cat, hamster [83] fallen for a friend? i mean my bf was my friend before we dated so i guess

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? tbh i am super confident in my schoolwork and just... not at all at work [85] miracles? yeah but sometimes they fail me [86] love at first sight? no [87] Santa Claus? rip [88] kiss on the first date? ehhh [89] angels? maybe

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: CALLIE [91] eye color: blue [92] favorite movie: oh fuq i love tangled and anastasia

i dont know 20 people or whatever so imma tag @pierce-the-llama, @marcoandthebodts (you sent me one of these like 55245 years ago and i shall do it now lol), @connors-sweet-ass, and @justklance if y’all want to

#ask meme #kinda lol #tagged #92 things #personal #this took me way to long to type up lolll

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diaryofahopelessdork · 6 years ago

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Hello everyone

And.... by everyone I mean no one ... lol

Anyways. Soo I used to write in a paper diary ever since my hell of a breakup just so I can get all my emotions out and not drown in depression ... but now I can’t write in it cause it’s easy to find and my mom almost got to it. But I see to write a lot about what I felt on my main blog. But t I feel like I don’t need to rant on there cause it’s like a happy blog. So imma start on this.

Sooo alittle about me.... I’m Niki and I’m 23.... (almost 24😭). I’ve had a rough 2018. The beginning was good. I was still dating my ex going on 6 years! And then may hit and yea... that’s when hell started. A lot went on between us but I guess he just lost the love and desire he had for me and found it in other people. Which sucked and I couldn’t take it at first. I cried and cried and I felt worthless. I thought I was gonna lose my mind. I constantly hated myself and it was really sucky. I then started school and couldn’t focus. I still fucked around with him... a lot every now and then like an idiot thinking I had something special and I’d pull him back to me.. yea no. Didn’t happen. Then the worst day ever... where he just said he was done. He basically never wanted to be with me again. He said that. I get that breakups suck and this was my first love and my first heartbreak... but just the way everything happened. It sucked. I broke. I had to see a psychologist at school and I was helped by that. I got out of depression and I took some meds for it for a while. I just felt so gross and like I was just good for nothing. I’m not smart, not pretty, not anything.. feeling like that. It sucks. I’m not all the way better but I’m working on it. Anyways... after that mess up I wanted to start fresh... so tht brings me here

2019– this is a new year and I’m going to be positive. I’m leaving my house to move out with my best friend... who a lot of her shit happened with my shit and it was all hell. So that’s for another day.... but I’m confident and getting happy...

I don’t believe in love like I used to.. and it’s sad but man I gave so much and got very little towards the end.. the end where it mattered and I wanted to actually tell my family.. so it’s like the hopeless romantic in me died. And he killed it by stabbing it over and over again. It sucks thinking about it cause even now ... he will never realize what happened to me within those months. When I say shattered I was shattered. Into a billion pieces. I prayed that he would love me... I prayed to make me prettier, I prayed to god knows what asking to not let this hAppen to me... oh man.. crying while writing this.. not good...so anyways moving on.

I’m not saying he is terrible. He was SO AMAZING to me. He made me happy. He made me eat butterflies even till the end. He made me just overall enjoy him and enjoy his laugh and eyes and helped me love ❤️ but I guess something changed and he changed. I still love him. Always and forever will. He will be my first love but we will just never be. We won’t have the kids we talked about it the dogs or the house or the life I dreamt which sucks. But I guess that’s what life is.. and I’ve moved on now.

I don’t have anyone and probably won’t for a while but I’m having fun. I’m enjoying being single... of course I get my days where I cry and wish things were back to what they would have been but it’s just not the same. But I’m glad I’m learning to be stronger and tougher and I know what I want and how I stick up for myself. I still am working hard on my body and it’s good and I’m doing well! I have no meds in me and I’m not feeling like I’m worthless. Thanks to my bestie of course. She’s an amazing human being. ❤️ well that’s all for today...

I ranted about things I didn’t even think I was going to. This is what I love about diaries cause I just type and type till I’m tired and can’t type. No topic or where I’m headed but I love to do it... even tho this one made me cry and I wasn’t suppose to cry lol but It’s okay... I cry sometimes and it’s good ❤️ goodbye diary!

——Stay dorky and hopeless Niki 😘

#breakup

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azanycollectormilkshakeworl-blog · 6 years ago

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San Diego California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 92117

"San Diego California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 92117

San Diego California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 92117

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What can i do if my fmla and insurance is terminated?

Today is my last day for fmla and my insurance benefits, but I can't afford any insurance. Its almost 4 months I've been out of work due to diabetes, high blood pressure, fractured c1, infections on my skull and spine, and excessive migraines. I am unable to bend over, lift heavy objects, push or pull objects, stand, sit, or walk for long periods of time and was recently denied disability benefits. I need other operations done, but I cannot afford health insurance to continue my treatments.""

Which is the Best Health Insurance Policy available for Individuals in India?

So far I have learnt that LIC health plus is a pretty good policy. and http://sunilrams.blogspot.com has really given in detail the comparisons . Are there any better policies in the Indian Market for individuals.

""Cheap car insurance for a 17 year old, impossible?""

I need insurance for a job & i can't afford insurance.. So expensive atm, last year was about 1700 now its 4000 for 1L? What they playing at, anyone insured anyone recently with cheap car insurance at 17, i don't want to know why it is expensive thanks!""

Cheap basic health insurance for 21 year old?

I am currently with National Health paying $408 a month for I don't know what. I've been on this insurance by my parents since before I was 18 and I just can't afford it, plus it doesn't cover me for things I need most! I have tried filling out applications but since I was not responsible for my medical records before, I have no access to dates, doctors names prescriptions names, etc. to fill out the forms. I am looking for coverage that would include generic prescriptions & annual exams. Since I don't have access of my previous medical history, I'm looking to see if there is anyone that can help me with insurance WITHOUT that information from me. I'm not sure if this is true but I've heard that some people can just pull your medical records and and see what you qualify for, so if you or anyone knows anything about this I would really appreciate your input.""

""How does car insurance in Ontario, Canada work if deductibles are involved?""

Maybe I'm missing something here, but the way it's been explained to me is this: I've got a $500 deductible on my policy. If someone backs into my parked car, this will be deducted from the payout I get for repairs. OK, let's say the damages amount to $900. That would mean that because of MY $500 deductible, the payout to me would be $400. I'd have to pay the other $500 out of pocket to repair my car. The insurance company would then reclaim that $400 from the other guy's insurance company. Now, if the other guy also has a $500 deductible (very likely), then he'd have to pay $400 out of pocket. That seems wacked to me. Someone damages my car, and he has to pay LESS than I do for the damages. Am I missing something?""

Does insuring a family member/friend on your car make insurance cheaper?

How much do you pay for insurance for your car?

""Cheap car insurance companies for a 18 yo girl, in the UK?""

I have been driving for over a year now, and need to renew my car insurance. Do anyone know of any cheap company's? I am finding it very difficult! I even have 1 years no claim. Please help me!! Thanks""

Insurance for a car that is about to sell?

I live in north carolina and I have two cars right now. One is a dead car ( having insurance) and the other is new car ( dealer said it is ok to drive that vehicle for atleast 30 days with in the state without transfer of insurance ..I will be transferring the insurance from my old car to new car in 3-4 days as holidays are ahead. My question is some one is willing to buy my dead car ASAP and do I have to do the paper work of transferring the insurance of my dead one to new one before I sell this car. Or Insurance is the responsibility of the buyer? I don't have to worry about it? I really appreciate if some one gives a nice suggestion. I could not able to reach the insurance people bcz of holidays

Whats the best auto insurance for new drivers?

Newly 20 year old and trying to be on her own and independent. Im currently under my grandparents insurance(GEICO). I believe i got a good deal with Nationwide which would be 274.00 a month with full coverage and rental... Im looking to buy a 2008 infinti G37 sports coupe for $26,000< so excited about it hopefully i get it. I just wanted to know what should i be looking for in auto insurance... i def. need full coverage because im going to be financing the car..Correct? but yeah what are some things should i look for. i would ask my family members but they are stubborn, when it comes to things like this... but thanks!!! :)""

How much will I pay for car insurance as a 17 year old in CA?

I am a 17 year old girl, who is going 2 get a nissan versa. I make about $600.00 a month at my job. My parents said they would get me the car. I have to make monthly payments, which would be $250. They have really good credit. How much would insurance cost? What is the best deal I can get? What company should I go to?""

Old bmws? Insurance? Cali driving age?

Hey, im 14 from California and will be 15 in september. I was wondering if anyone knew any nice older bmws, i like the e46 m3 and stuff but i was wondering if there were some other nice powerful ones i should know about. I dont want to spend more than 18k on the car itself. My next question is how much insurance usually is, i know its more expensive for a sports car but how much? The insurance doesnt factor into the 18k for the car, i was just wondering. And last, what is the absolute minimum age for driving in cali? My school is too far to walk or bike ( like 8 miles) and i cant really get a ride, i usually end up taking a city bus then walking 2 miles but the bus runs late a lot and im tardy for school. I say that because i heard there are special permits to just go and from school. Please reply of you know the answer to any all these question thanks!""

""I'm 17, I want a vauxhall corsa sxi or a fiat 500 abrath, how much will each of these cost on insurance?""

I'm 17, I want a vauxhall corsa sxi or a fiat 500 abrath, how much will each of these cost on insurance?""

""Kawasaki Ninja 250R, insurance help?""

I just turned 17 last week, and it's the summer break now and am looking to get a job. The plan is to earn and save as much money as possible until I have enough to purchase the 2012 Kawasaki Ninja 250R Motorcycle. I've read and heard many good things about it, and it seems to me like it's a good starter bike to purchase. One thing I am unclear for is the insurance. I've read that insurance for the Ninja 250R is very cheap, but also have read that it can be really expensive. Realistically, what am I looking at here annually? I have a clean record, I'm also planning to get my M1 in the next few weeks.""

What is some really good but not exspensive auto insurance?

my daddy is with progressive and its really high on him and he is looking for a better and less exspensive auto insurance any suggestions.

Auto insurance limits of liability ?

How high should I reasonably set my liability limits. From what I can tell my current Auto policy limits are $25k and $50k. That seems a bit low to me. My friend said he has $100k and $300k. What do you suggest. We are an average income family, and currently drive and Escalade ESV, and a G35 coupe(Nothing like living beyond your means, you only get one shot at this thing right?).""

Typical renters insurance in springfield MA?

what is the typical amount of money you pay for renters insurance in springfield Massachusetts?

How to do teens afford cars without going under their parents insurance?

Hello, so my friends have their g2 and their parents pay for their insurance. My fathers cheap in ways and he doesn't want me under his insurance. I do have my own car it's a ...show more""

Auto Insurance?

I am 18 years old and I am trying to buy insurance for my car. I noticed that the prices for insurance are really high for teen drivers. I was just wondering if my parents could buy the insurance under their name so the payments can be cheaper or does the policy have to be under my name.

What car insurance company would you recommend?

my car is salvage so i basically have no choice but to obtain liability only...what insurance company would you suggest has better rates?

How much would my car insurance be?

Right now I have a Nissan Maxima that im paying about $1000 per year liability insurance on. But this car is giving me problems and I am tired of putting money into it so im looking into a new one. I seen a nice 08 Honda that I can afford but my only concern is that my insurance will skyrocket because I have been told that I would have to get full coverage on it. So about how much would insurance on a 08 Honda accord be for a 20 year old male. Btw I have all state right now can anyone recommend a nice cheap insurance?

San Diego California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 92117

Is it legal for me to drive this antique car?

Hello. My dad has just offered me his old MGB. During the talk about it, he said if I get it running I can have it. But he also said that I might need to be 21 to drive a car with antique plates. We have Geico. Is this true? Thanks guys.""

Cheapest Way for an international student to Drive a car in the UK with an international License?

I will be staying in the UK for 1 year and need a car cuz I will be driving around 50 miles a day. I looked to buy a cheap car but the insurance is around 6000 to 8000 a year cuz i am young and driving with an international license. The cheapest thing I found was renting a car for 13-14 a day. Is there anyway I can drive cheaper in the UK? If renting is the only choice, what is the cheapest renting diesel car can I get in Birmingham?""

Should i go through the whole car insurance thing?

Hey guys, so someone rear ended me this morning and im debating whether or not to file the claim through the other person's insurance company since im pretty sure it would be his fault. But i'm debating whether or not i should even bother becuase the damage is very minimal ( theres only a small imprint of the rectangle from the guys license plate.) But i got in a car accident about 8 months ago which ended up being my fault. so since the damage is minimal to my bumper, i'm not sure its worth the hassle and the possibility of my rates going up, even though not my fault. should i just let it go? or file a claims through the other persons insurance, and if i do, do i have to call up my own insurance company as well? or by filing the claim through the other company, they'll take care of it? thanks for all the input.""

Non-credit based car insurance?

i saw a commercial on tv about a car insurance company that bases your premium on your driving record, not your credit score. but i cant remember the name. anyone know? thanks!""

Auto Insurance quote...please help!?!?!?

My sisters insurance..we live in CA by the way..has 2 cars insured. Her total premium for 6 months is 541 but we pay 114 a month. How did they get that monthly payment? If she was to add me to her policy the premium would go up 2 $740. My question is how much would the monthly payment turn out to be????

""OK so i previously asked how much is car insurance uk,17yearold/girl, bmw compact sport 318.3door?

I ALREADY HAVE THE CAR...I just need to know roughly how much insurance will be next year

Car insurance for a 19 year old?

I was wondering how much will car insurance be for a 19 year older. Is it more then $300 ah month And should I go to geico, Allstate or state farm""

Car insurance in Arkansas?

I know there are so many factors that play into car insurance but I need help. I am 18 years old.

How does AAA insurance work?

I want to start driving I'm a fifteen female. I want to drive my moms four wheel drive Subaru. We have AAA insurance and I live in the state of California. I'm just not sure what the insurance policy would be... Or whatever. So basically, what would our insurance be? I'm pretty sure this makes little to no sense and I apologies sincerely but to be quite frank I don't understand insurance whatsoever. So if you could explain to me that would be amazing. Thank You for your time""

Maternity insurance for self employed?

Hi, I am from ca and I was wondering if there is any affordable insurance for self employed family. I am not pregnant but planning on it in the next few months. any ideas?""

Getting married. Will I lose my car insurance if under my mom's policy?

I am living at home now and I am under her insurance policy and the car is in her name. Will they terminate my policy if I get married and move out? Can I put the car under my fiance's insurance even though the car is in her name?

What to do with a conditional discharge and a car insurance?

My friend had a court on 25/08/2012, where he has been conditionally discharged for 12 months. His car insurance was due to be renewed on 28/08/2012. He was buying the car insurance ...show more""

Is Geico car insurance good or bad? What's your experience?

I've had Allstate for 11 years but now I need to cut costs and Geico is SO much cheaper than Allstate. The thing is, there's no local agent or office. Maybe that's why they're so cheap. Anyhow, I'd like to hear your experience with Geico, good or bad?""

Why is car insurance so high?

it it fair if you do not have good credit you have to pay more for car insurance i dont think it is right i have clean driving record

Car Insurance HELP......?

Well Im 19 yo. and I want to buy a car in England. But insurance is the main problem!!! I have International Driver License and Im looking cars like Crossfire, BMW M1 etc. but secondhand ones. Which insurance company will be the best for me??? Btw Im university student.""

How long does it take for insurance rates to go up after getting speeding ticket?

how long does it take for your insurance rates to get affected if you get a speeding ticket.. does it apply right away or do i have time to go to traffic school.. and if i go to traffic school will all evidence of there ever been a ticket disappear?

""Where can I find affordable insurance for sickle cell, full time student?""

If possible, in the Washington DC metro area. School is really expensive and it's very difficult to afford all these costly insurance while at the same time paying for school and living expenses.""

Medical Malpractice insurance..?

Im wanting to start a nursing agency in the near future and require the appropriate insurance in order to do so. I have a quote for Professional Indemnity and Employers Liability through HISCOX. I dont seem to be able to locate a broker who can provide Medical Malpractice/Negligence cover. Can anyone help me out??

How Much Will My Insurance Go Up?

I am a new driver. 16 years old and have had my license for a little over 2 months. My insurance now is around 75$. Last week, I backed into my friends car denting her car door. I am wondering if I should not deal with the insurance and just pay her the money for the repair or should I have my insurance cover it and have my insurance go up. How much do you think my insurance will go up being my age with this. It obviously wasn't a big accident but would it be cheaper for me to repay my friend or get the insurance to deal with it? Thanks!""

Flat insurance costs?

How much is flat insurance on average in the UK?

How much would i pay for insurance?

I want to buy an 2010 Nissan Cube, around 14,000 new and im 17, living in Ct. I was wondering how much i would pay for insurance, if its too much what other car should i get, i want to get a new car so can any one help me, my grades aren't too good, i would pay for it my self and i can afford about 150 a month since ill be paying 184 a month for the car with 60 months and 3000 down.""

""50% fault accident, but my insurance did not need to pay. Will my rate be affected?""

I was recently involved into an accident in a mall parking lot. My car was damaged and the other driver's car was not. I filed a claim with their insurance and received 50% of my claim as they determined comparable negligence, 50% fault . The other driver did not file a claim, and my insurance company did not pay any money to anyone. Will my rate be affected by this accident?""

USAA Auto insurance extra monthly bill?

Hi we've been with USAA for over 10 yrs now for our Auto/Recreation insurance company. This month on our bill i noticed our rates went up by 35+ dollars per month. I called and they said nothing has changed in our policy. They told us because the dates our policy renewed we have an extra bill in this cycle. So they had to charge us more so we wouldn't have to pay 2 bills in 1 month. I am so confused it seems like were making an extra payment for nothing. We Pay every month on time , so I'm not sure why we have to pay an extra payment to avoid a double billing. Only thing they could tell me is that it happens to alot of policyholders once or twice in the lifetime of the policy. Seems strange to me. Thanks for your responses!""

What does Santa pay in Sleigh Insurance?

What is cheap full coverage car insurance?

San Diego California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 92117

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/mobile-home-owner-insurance-quotes-jayden-macalister/"

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smol-pilots · 7 years ago

Text

code: calico

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: role play fuck my brains out bc i just virtually sucked someone's cock and got nothing in return

Stranger: why did you do that?

You: that's not a bad question

You: idk i thought i'd get something in return

Stranger: i guess so. some reward :D

You: yeah exactly

Stranger: it's like in movies, why girls are sluty

Stranger: they want something in return

You: hah i mean it's only fair isn't it?

Stranger: i think its kind of self deception

You: that's also not a bad remark

You: i always blindly believe men

You: i mean not blindly but

Stranger: we believe what we want to believe.

Stranger: so the important thing is what we want

Stranger: i mean, people want to "live happily ever after"

You: tru

Stranger: they imagine family, love and so on

You: but what do i want

You: i don't really fit into that tbh

Stranger: o.k., so what do you want

You: i mean i don't want family

You: i guess i wouldn't mind love but i don't expect it

Stranger: o.k., maybe you want relationship?

You: i don't even know what it feels so

You: i can't really feel any romantic feelings towards people?

You: it's kind of

You: sad actually

Stranger: do you feel like life is meaningless?

You: yeah

Stranger: maybe out of boredom you just try to have some "fun"

You: i mean exactly

You: i don't expect anyone to love me because i know i probably won't love anyone so

Stranger: oh

Stranger: by the way

You: yes?

Stranger: one good song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voi-aQlvP68 heard it yesterday in a movie

Stranger: stange movie, "Calico Skies"

Stranger: strange

You: i'm listening to the song and i really like it, thank you!

You: noted, i'll put it on my to-watch list :)

Stranger: what you said reminded my of the lyrics of this song

Stranger: she's kind of sad because she knows a man will love her, be she will not so much

You: okay i really like the song??? the voice is so nice also i rly like this type of music

Stranger: do you watch Game of Thrones?

You: i watched like 2 season but then i stopped hhh you?

Stranger: i watch it. yeah, 2 season was impressive. the red wedding, isn't it?

You: yup

You: i see there's so much drama now hahah

Stranger: :) yeah, they lost it, i guess

Stranger: the beggining was building impressive,

Stranger: anyway

Stranger: you are f or m?

You: f

You: you?

Stranger: m

Stranger: so why girls suck cocks, it quite nonsensical

Stranger: gross acitivyt

You: i mean tru but i guess it's for the dude's pleasure? also it's kinda fun to have so much power over someone

Stranger: yeah, but this is zero sum game - pleasure for the dude, but for the sucker what?

Stranger: nah, it never appealed to me

You: it's a lot of work actually but i guess all of this is just giving and receiving

Stranger: i think physically it's quite troublesome

Stranger: for a woman

You: i mean it usually takes time??

You: and then everything just starts to hurt bc the dude can't come that fast and it's just

You: uh

Stranger: yeah. crazy stuff

Stranger: but people do many crazy things :)

You: hah that's true

Stranger: what's your country?

You: uk

Stranger: old good uk :)

You: hahahahh

You: you?

Stranger: russia

You: oh nice!

You: ive never been there but i rly want to go to moscow

Stranger: come sometimes, we'll drink a lot of vodka together

You: oh my god no vodka always kills me

Stranger: :D

Stranger: it kills everyone

You: that's like my top three worst drunk moments all involved vodka it's the devil

Stranger: ha ha ha

Stranger: wine is also tricky, it is very intoxicating

Stranger: try a lot of red wine

Stranger: you'll see :D

You: i love wine tho

You: but yeah it also hits pretty hard hahahah

You: how old are u tho?

Stranger: 28

You: ah i'm 24

Stranger: vow vow, we would make a perfect pair :D

You: hahahh we really would :)

Stranger: anyway, why people always try to pair at all?

Stranger: natures call?

You: i have no idea

You: i mean is it really tho

You: i don't think it's nature, it's the culture

You: the society

You: everyone is always shocked when i tell them that i'm single and i don't want kids because they're like??? but how??

You: everyone expects things according to the society they live in and it's kinda annoying sometimes

Stranger: yeah, it's quite strange. everyone want to live by that stream: family, kids, happy life. no alternatives

You: exactly

You: it's like i'm obliged to live my life by this rule

You: and i'm weird if i don't follow

Stranger: but even if people remain single, they want to get romantically involved

Stranger: that is also strange

Stranger: it's like some software inside of us,

You: tru. i sometimes catch myself wishing i'd have a boyfriend and a house and two kids and a dog bc i remember i wished for all that when i was a child. and then once again i see that my parents told me that this is how it is? you get older, you get married, have kids, a house, a job and that's what i also wished for when i was younger

You: i was raised by these values

You: and now that i'm older and i don't want that anymore but i feel like at the same time a part of me maybe still hopes that one day everything would just go the way a young me dreamed it to be

Stranger: when i was younger, i also had dreams about family. and all people about 20 yo i know have the same. almost all.

You: really?

You: what do you want?

Stranger: with time i have seen that this is very big struggle, family, kids, relationship, and "you do not get what you imagine". so i drop those young dreams. they were not realistic. it was illusions of young person. i did not know life and did not know the world.

Stranger: i want to rise above the problems of this life. to get free.

Stranger: not to get entangled more and more

You: the first part!!

You: i really believe that this is what contributed to the majority of crap i had to go through as a teenager and up to this day

You: u see but how does one get free

You: i feel like time to actually! enjoy this life is running out and at the same time i feel there's just sooo much left of it and i'm just passing by, doing things that don't make me happy

You: (bc i don't really know what makes me happy)

You: (imma go brush my teeth and shit i might be gone for about ten minutes okay?)

You: (and shit does not mean take an actual shit i just meant it as "and other stuff")

Stranger: o.k., yes, please do the needful. i'll have some time to reflect. :)

Stranger: i see it like this: I want to be happy just by existing. To rise above my own mental structures, that don't let me feel happy, don't let me feel light and content. I think, if one in his soul "takes everything very easy", not burdening himself with so many false ideas about why he is this or that, and just tries to be, to exist authentically, as a being that is free, then it is good state of consciousness.

Stranger: just to feel that lightness.

Stranger: do i need to do something for that, some big projects of life? I dont think so. Just need to give up some mental stuff. It's all in the mind.

Stranger: if man will simply change his mind, he can be happy. And so many jobs, responsibilies and relationships will not make him happy. It will be just a lot of troubles.

Stranger: anyway, we are all after happiness. the only question is, where is that real happiness

You: that's actually a very interesting perspective that i do find myself agreeing to but at the same time i feel like in theory it sounds ideal and simple but it's really hard to just let go of what's in your mind

Stranger: you are right :) it not easy

You: i was very hung up on the happiness thing as i felt unhappy all the time. and i wondered whether or not you're ever really happy in life. and i asked my mother (u know the older the wiser or smth) and she said that happiness isn't really a long period of time but rather a moment here and there that makes you happy to be alive

You: and that thought made me really sad at the time because i always felt like happiness is something that comes in time - when you get older, wiser, more experienced etc but now i'm discovering my mother wasn't really wrong?

You: at least that's how i experience life

You: my colleague tho, she lovES life. literally loves it. the most positive bright cheerful happy person i have ever seen w my two eyes. and it's just weird bc what did she do how did she achieve this bliss how can she see this life so full of good things

You: it's just

You: so weird

Stranger: it depends on what we do. I think, it's real assessment of ordinary life - happiness are just rear and fleeting moments. but i my life there were some periods where i felt very happy for considerable periods of time. no i do not feel so happy. and with age, happiness diminishes, i think, because the body begins to make a lot of problems. then one is not as energetic as before. and you have to work and survive with less and less energy to accomplish that.

Stranger: i thing technologies, computers, internet steal a lot of happiness

Stranger: i went to asia for some time, and after few months i revived the joy of life

You: that's true but it's also what made it really tough to keep living - that it won't get better in time. i was really sad and depressed for the majority of my teenage years so being alive while people kept telling me it's only gonna get harder wasn't really a good thing for me i guess. but at least my expectations weren't that high hahah

You: that's true but at the same time i depend on them to distract me from life so it's really in contradiction

Stranger: it can get better

You: ohh where did u go

Stranger: it must

You: i mean that's what i want to believe but like someone give me idk an age at which it gets better hh

Stranger: with good strategy, there is way. i think so. because I experienced it for a while. I does not depend on the age

Stranger: i may be unhappy for the rest of my life, if i do not try, and stay as i am

Stranger: but if i will apply whatever i learned about happiness, i may achieve something, as i had before.

You: that's a really nice and positive thought

You: i'll keep it in mind

Stranger: if there is hunger, there must be food. so if we are hungry for happiness, it must be out there. or inside of us.

Stranger: oh my god, it's 1 am here

Stranger: forgot myself while talking this stuff :)

You: but it's just so annoying my time is ticking?

You: hahahah

You: i really enjoyed it tho

You: it's rare to find someone to have this kind of conversation with

Stranger: o.k., lets think of a keyword by which we can find each other on omegle again.

Stranger: :)

You: okay

You: :)

Stranger: i know. "Calico". you'll find me by this.

You: good one. i'm going to write it down so i don't forget :)

You: also so i don't forget to download the songs

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