#I have some random thots sometimes

[helloheyhihowdyheya]

Misattribution of Arousal | pt. 2

Fratboy!Peter Parker x gn!reader

Masterlist

Words: ~3k

Warnings: Let me know if I missed anything, but this can be read as a gn!reader. Gets suggestive. Kissing. Fluff

A/N: This is a continuation of this fic. Thank you for the love on the last part – Fratboy!Peter does something to me lol. Hope you like it!

Thanks as always for reading!! Love to hear your thoughts (and thots) <3

It’s not long before you’re leaving a spot open next to you for Peter when he rushes into class a few minutes late. Though you didn’t sit near the back before, you did now so he could easily slip in the seat to your left without disturbing too many others

And so that you could laugh at his little comments without the professor hearing

A little breathless as he removes his backpack, he asks, “What’d I miss?”

Wordlessly, you point to your notes for today’s lecture. The only thing you have written besides the date is “What’d I miss? - Peter” – already knowing what he’d ask

Peter stifles a laugh behind the back of his hand while a smile rises on your face. But any confidence you felt in that moment disappears as he grabs your pencil. His fingers brush against yours before writing something below your question

“You”

He whispers, “That was an easy answer”

With your face hot, you still stare forward, pretending to focus on whatever the professor’s saying. But the heavy weight of his gaze drags down your resolve. To remedy the heat licking up your spine, you try to distract him

“Might be on the test,” you joke, a breathy laugh following your words

Though of course, you could sense the smirk rising to his lips, always winning this back and forth between you two

“Guess I’ll just have to study extra hard, then”

Any witty remark you could’ve had dies in your throat – couldn’t even look him in the eyes for the rest of class

Peter usually ends up taking pity on you in these moments, which much to your annoyance (and sometimes flattery) happens way too often. He’ll tone down the flirtiness and let you breathe before making some other remark that leaves you struggling to face him

--

One time, you joke that he gets off on it. He just laughs, letting the silence to your accusation speak for itself, which only fuels your overactive thoughts

--

Some days, you’re doodling in the top corner of your notebook, random shapes and lines – the occasional flower here and there

Those are Peter’s favorite because he’ll doodle his own flowers in between yours. Usually, by the end of class, he rips off the corner of the page and thanks you for the bouquet 

He laughs it off, teasing you for not focusing in class or something, but you see the way he slips it into his folder for the class. So you eventually doodle flowers on your paper more often, sometimes on his too (when he actually bothers to open up his notebook)

--

And you’d go to his basketball games!!

You didn’t really have a reason to attend before besides general school spirit, but now…

Peter would invite you, quite unsure you’d even want to go – unsure he was a good enough reason to get you to come

But you did show up, bought popcorn and a drink, even subtly adding some of your school’s colors to your outfit

Part of you feels a little out of place in all this, but the look on Peter’s face when his eyes catch yours while jogging onto the court soothes any worries as you watch him

And boy do you watch him. The way he effortlessly gets around other players, how his arms flex when lining up his shot, the sweat slowly beading along his forehead keeps you from looking anywhere else the whole game. After he makes an impressive shot, sometimes his eyes will find yours with that annoyingly beautiful smile

After some games, he’d go back to his place to rest or go out to celebrate with his team. But other times, he’d search you out after exiting the locker room

You raise your hands to keep him from getting his sweat on you, but that just spurs him further – which you’re not too upset about because it means him trying to get you and keep you in his embrace. You’re laughing, trying to push him away but only half-heartedly as most of your mind is on the way his hard body presses against yours

Peter pulls away but only a little as he asks, “Wanna get ice cream?”

And you do. Anything to spend a minute longer with him. And something to cool yourself down

--

One day, it’s in the lulling silence between the two of you in the campus coffee shop that Peter asks you. 

In between conversations, when neither of you have fought your words up your throat and out just yet, the silence had felt comfortable for a short time. In that brief window of time between friends and realizing that you’re actually starting to fall for him. But it’s different now, your nerves over-firing all the time around him, so this silence is like no other as of late: coursing into your muscles to keep you tense and nervous, even making you jump when Peter asks,

“Are you coming to my party on Friday?”

Your eyes blink up from the swirls of your drink to his, only beginning with “Um…” while your brain tries to catch up

You knew his frat house threw parties often, Peter leading most of them with wide arms and his usual grace. He’d mentioned you coming to them before but hasn’t ever asked outright. If how shocked you are by his bluntness rises to your face, he doesn’t acknowledge it. You liked Peter, being with him, but at a house of drunk people you didn’t know – that wasn’t exactly your element

As you balanced the decision back and forth in your head, he just watches, giving you an amused sort of look that doesn’t help your focus in any way. You hold your drink close to your body as you answer

“I don’t know, I might need to catch up on things – especially since someone’s been taking up plenty of my free time,” you pointedly say to him

In the short moment of him smiling, you think he might let you off the hook. But no

“C’mon, I can actually show you around the place. And you could meet my friends if you want”

Tilting your head, you ask, “Won’t you be busy hosting or… wanting to enjoy yourself and party?”

The laugh he lets out isn’t quite like one that follows something funny. More like he’s laughing at you for a bad joke. “I’d enjoy myself plenty just hanging out with you. Promise,” he says, holding up three fingers. “Scout’s honor.”

That makes you giggle. “Were you even a boy scout, Peter?”

His body leans forward along the table, his hand coming up to ruffle his hair before resting his head on his fist. “If you come Friday, I’ll show you my patch collection”

Smacking his arm, you shake your head. “You do not have a boy scout patch collection in your frat house.” You’re sure his wide grin matches your own, and there’s no way you can say no to him, to anything he’d ask of you in that moment

“Okay,” you sigh, “but if you weren’t an Eagle Scout, then I’m going to be a little disappointed”

He whispers a soft “yes!” under his breath, leaning back in his chair. You roll your eyes at his cheering, earning a soft tap from his foot against your leg under the table

--

Your roommate, watching you unable to decide on what outfit to wear to this, helps you get ready. Something cute? Something revealing? Your roommate leans toward the latter, “Make him start drooling the second he sees you”

Compromising on something in between, you walk out the door into your campus’s night air hoping it’s good enough for… what?

With each step, you get closer to the house, passing other students dressed up for the night, you’re not sure what you’re trying to do. Impress him? Get him to kiss you? Not be too embarrassed to show you around at least…

Music grows louder as you near the frat house, seeing colorful lights stream out from the windows. Just as sneaking thoughts start worming their way through your mind second-guessing this whole thing, you spot him

Peter’s out in front of the house, leaning back against the wall, bobbing his head to the music and sipping from a cup. In the swaying shadows of the lights, he looks beautiful like this – and then he sees you

Instantly, everything about how he holds himself changes. Pushing off the wall, arms stretched wide with that electric smile, he walks toward you

You’re not sure whether you’re relieved that you won’t have to search through a sea of bodies to find him or dreading how nervous his intense gaze makes you

As the distance between you two dwindles, his eyes drag down your body, making you shrink a bit. Maybe it’s the outfit, but he’s like this with you all the time. It’s how he has to be to any girl here

Your hands clasp in front of you, your fingers picking at your nails. Perhaps Peter notices because he grabs your hand in his, sending your skin aflame with his hot touch, and brings it up

Dramatically, he holds it as he bows with a dumb smile, saying, “Welcome to my great estate”

Giggling and embarrassed, you weakly try to pull away, but he holds tight for a moment – like if you pull again, he’ll let you go in an instant. As if he’s asking if you really want to leave his touch

But you don’t so you let him hold your hand as you say, “Peter, you’re ridiculous. I’ve already been here before”

Shaking his head, he fake tsks at you. “Sweetheart…”

Oh my lord. What did he just call you? Wait, shit, he’s still talking

“That was the traditional Boy Scouts greeting, don’t go disrespecting it. And you haven’t been here in its prime time, so I’ll have to reacquaint the two of you”

All you can do is laugh, your mind too fuzzy to think of a good response when that pet name for you rolled off his lips so beautifully. Not that you were focused on his lips

The feeling of him squeezing your hand brings you back, your eyes focusing on the way his head tilts slightly at you, his gaze never leaving you

Clearing your throat, you finally manage to say, “Show me the way, then”

Peter shifts to the other side of you, and the way your stomach drops at the chance of him letting go of your hand shocks you, your heart thumping against your ribs. But he just moves your hand from one side to the other, entwining your fingers with his while walking through the door

You’d been to parties, have become acquainted with loud and stuffy places full of people you don’t know, but the sheer intensity of all that feels tenfold against your chest. You knew his fraternity was made up of a lot of basketball players, but the amount of towering men walking through has you feeling just as small again

For a split second, someone bumps into you, disconnecting your hand with Peter’s as swaying bodies swallow you farther away. Standing on the tips of your toes, you try finding him again, but you can barely see or hear anything

You’re left following the crowd, pushing through until you find the kitchen. Feeling sweat start to form along your skin, you find anything cold to drink, standing off to the side. Though the rest of you feels warm, the part of your skin that he touched feels just a bit colder without him next to you

In the corner, focusing on the people in front of you, you’re trying to calm your heartbeat. And hoping that Peter would somehow find you 

Though with everyone so close and the music too loud to hear another person even if they were yelling next to you, you found it difficult to find peace

Not until you spot him once again

It’s his flopping blonde hair that you first see, recognizing the twisted strands of sunlight as they move toward you. Then his warm eyes as they scanned the crowd

You look next at that usual smile that had started feeling like a familiar comfort – like discovering your new favorite song you wanted to replay for hours on end – but he isn’t smiling

No, his mouth’s set into a straight line, his eyebrows drawn together as his head whips this way and that. Abrasive thoughts in the back of your head tell you not to, that he wasn’t really looking for you. But still, you raise your hand, hoping to grab his attention 

And once his gaze finds you once again, a tightness visibly escapes him, loosening his shoulders as he pushes through to you, not letting anyone stop his momentum until the two of you are face to face

“There you are,” he yells, though it feels like a caressing whisper against your cheek

“Here I am,” you tell him, unable to hide away from his infectious smile that brings one to your own face

“Yeah,” he breathes out. You can only tell by reading his lips, but you find it hard to drag your eyes away from his mouth after that

Not until he asks, “You okay? You look a bit flushed”

Peter pressed the back of his hand against your forehead, checking your temperature with those worried creases adorning his face again. The sheer tenderness brings a shaky breath from your lungs

“Here, let’s go upstairs,” he says, eyebrows raised as he grabs your hand again, holding tighter than before

A pang of apprehension – of guilt – hits your chest. “Shouldn’t you be down here hosting and being with your friends?”

As soon as your question hits his ears, he gives you a soft smile, rolling his eyes as he leads you through the crowd once more. Every time he looks back, making sure you’re okay, a tang of butterflies swirling in your stomach starts up again

The misattribution of arousal theory isn’t lost on you in the moment, and you refuse to be confused like those people. Clearly, your bodily arousal is coming from the suffocating party rather than the handsome man glancing back at you with stars in his eyes

That same inner voice from before raises worries that every pair of eyes watching the two of you might be assuming that Peter Parker’s taking you up to his room, all alone, to make you another one of his one-night stands

But you feel the way his thumb rubs against your skin as you climb the stairs, feeling the callouses he brushes along the dips and curves of your hand – finding yourself unable to care too much about what they all think when he fits so right against you

Outside his door, he knocks a few times, ensuring no one else has snuck in to use it before pulling you inside. All the once deafening noises become muffled behind the closed door, in a world far away from the one you found yourself in with Peter

The clicking of the handle’s lock being pressed clangs through your body, making your eyes widen. Was this what he actually wanted from you? You chewed on your lip, debating the situation in your head in an instant

But once he looks at you, he explains with a sort of breathlessness you haven’t heard from him before. “I just didn’t want to have some drunk couple trying to get it on while we’re talking, I didn’t mean to imply…”

Seeing him as the one flustered for once, his cheeks flushed as he tries to ensure you weren’t uncomfortable brings a surge of something – pride, softness, pure happiness in this uninterrupted moment – to your chest

“Makes sense,” you say, sitting down on his bed, taking another sip of your drink to soothe an ache in your throat… trying to soothe the pulsing that Peter seems to pinprick your body with

“Want another drink?” he asks, gesturing his head to the cup you hold

“I’m okay.” You shake your head, a smile rising across your face. “I’ll have to pay you back for another drink then,” you joke

“You never had to pay me back for the first one,” he says, walking in long strides to sit next to you, the mattress dipping with his weight and pulling your body closer to his

A tightness creeps up your throat, unsure where this comes from as you say, “What excuse would I have had to see you then?” You hope the giddiness, your frayed nerves, don’t show on your face

But he’s staring so intently at you from only a few inches away that he has to notice. But he doesn’t point it out, only whispering, “Let me take you out, sweetheart”

If it weren’t for the dull beats of the music and shouting voices coming from below, you would worry that Peter could hear your heart hammering throughout your body or the hard swallow that scratches its way down

Maybe he does hear it because now he’s only a breath apart from you. Softly, you whisper, “Then we’d have to go on another date so I can repay you”

Still closer now, you’re able to pick out the shimmering specks of color adorning his eyes, and you’d spend as long as he’d allow committing each and every one to memory

Against your lips, he mutters, “Oh, wouldn’t that be a real shame”

You aren’t sure when your hand found its way to his hand pressed into the mattress next to your hip or when it creeped up to his forearm, but it seems every inch of yourself magnetically pulls to him in the most addicting way

Even still, his eyes flick between yours and your mouth – now parted in shallow breaths – with his eyebrows raised, silently asking you the question your body is practically begging from him

At the weak nods you gave him, he asks, “Yeah?”

Your nods turned excited, desperate, as you whispered back, “Yes”

Surging forward, his lips are on yours, his hands pressing down against the fabric of your clothes, his chest pushing yours back. Like he can’t get close enough to you, not in this moment or ever

But the little noise that erupts in the back of your throat satisfies him enough as you lean until your back is flush against his bed and body over yours, his mouth moving as his tongue dips past his teeth and against your bottom lip

You’re not sure how long the two of you stay like this, a push and pull between your bodies, when he tilts his head back. As his forehead’s resting against yours, ragged breaths filling the space between you and a spreading warmth filling an empty space between your ribs, you smile

You smile until your cheeks hurt and he’s grinning back at you – like he’s content not being in on the joke, or maybe just that he knows the exact reason why you’re so happy because it’s the same reason he is

And you let him take you out on that date, with a promise to pay him back with another

--

@reidslovely​

[thrawns-babygirl]

Spicy Crosshair HC's

Some random thots I had that I wanted to subject the internet to. I proofread these but let me know if anything doesn't make sense. As usual 18+ Minors DNI!!! let me know what you think and send some asks or messages if there is anything that you wanna read. I'm just screaming into the void at this point because I'm violently horny for fictional men

Warnings: Overstimulation, Praise Kink, Degradation Kink, Weapons Kink, Dom/Sub, Pain Play. I tired to keep it entirely GN so let me know if I slipped up at all.

This first one is basically not even a headcanon its just canon, I think we can all agree that Cross has an oral fixation. He LOVES going down on you. Time and location don’t matter if he can get on his knees for you he absolutely will. Also loves sucking on your nipples or fingers as well, anything he can get his mouth on.

Hardcore Dom Crosshair is hot af, but what about bratty switch Crosshair you have to wrestle submission from? It’s not an all the time thing, and he definitely prefers being the dom in the bedroom, but every now and then he will let you take the reins after making you fight for them and absolutely destroy him until he’s a panting mess on his bunk.

While he’s on top, he absolutely has a praise kink. Hearing how well his cock makes you feel is a drug to him that he cant get enough of. Knowing that he’s the one making you feel so good, pulling all those sounds from you while his hips piston you into next week has him hurling towards his end faster than he would ever admit. When he’s on the bottom however? Absolutely adores being called horrid names. He’s a little slut and he knows it, and he LOVES being reminded of that fact.

Specifics:

Overstimulation: This man absolutely has a superiority/competency complex and will take any chance he gets to remind you of that fact by making you cum more times than you’re physically able to. Gruff whispers of “come on you can give me one more, can’t you?” and “That’s it no one else’s cock can make you feel this good can they? Come on answer me” accompany the drag of his length through your walls. He however, also adores being overstimulated by you. Watching you gag on his cock after he’s already spilled in your mouth while the line between pain and pleasure is blurring is a massive turn on for him.

Masochism: On that note, he loves a bit of pain play. From your nails raking across his scalp or down his back in an intense session, to impact play while he’s the sub for the night, pain makes his cock impossibly harder. Sometimes while you’re seated on top of him you can dig your nails into his chest and feel his cock twitch and throb inside you as you run your nails down his chest leaving thin red lines in their wake.

Weapons/Gun Kink: The most important possession he owns, literally means the difference between life and death for his squad out on the field, its his calling in life, the reason he was created. So watching you get off with it? Grinding on the barrel or having it inside you is a sight he can’t get enough of.  

Praise Kink/Degradation Kink: Depending on his mood or the scene, this man either wants to be praised for his magnificent cock and performance or he wants to be told he’s good for nothing other than his cock messing up your insides. It’s a bit of a coin flip on any given day, but a good mix of the two sends him into another dimension of pleasure. He wants to be your perfect living dildo.

[kittyofalltrades]

Babe I’m gonna need to know your kinkiest thot about Hux

Well, this got out of hand. Nobody look at me. I blame you specifically for this Dee.... NSFW under the cut.

First of enemies to enemies that fuck. No way around it.

Vast amounts of hate fucking goes on, on nearly every flat surface.

His office, your office, random corridors, against walls, and in a special twist, a storage closet. There isn't really a place that Hux hasn't fucked you.

Nearly every place you've had a screaming match has eventually led to angry sexy no matter who is in the right or wrong.

For him, the leather gloves stay on, not because he doesn't like the feeling of your skin, but because he likes how your pussy clenches around him when he does. He doesn't know if you have a leather kink but he can do this one thing to please you.

Hair pulling is his favorite thing, not that he'd ever admit to it. He loves when you tug his ginger locks, ruining his pristine image.

Choking is also a big thing for him. He likes to feel your pulse flutter against his fingers while he holds your throat. He likes to remind you that in that moment he is your god.

For wanting to be neat and he likes to make a mess of you, you both left his office with clothes in tatters with because he cut you out of them with the nearest sharp object or because you've just ripped them to shreds.

He's also not afraid to send you out of his office or quarters wearing cum on your tits from where he's made a mess of you. Your complaints of a walk of shame and the resulting angry sex keep him doing it again and again.

You are both grateful for the high uniform collars because you both sport teeth marks and purple hickies from your activities. And in your case, some bruises on your hips.

Sometimes even him reprimanding you ends up with you bent over his desk begging for him to fuck you while he edges you until you cry. To teach you a lesson, he'd purr in your ear with a slow deep roll of his hips that serves more as a reminder that you hate him than anything.

The week that you spent away from him and the star destroyer was brutal. You felt like it was constant edging because you still had to debrief with him via holo. You weren't sure how you kept your composure with his long distance teasing.

The second you'd returned to the star destroyer, you'd stormed to his office, barging in with a snarl to find him smiling serenely at you. He addressed you by your title and offered you a seat to debrief and it took everything in your power to not lunge over the desk to get your hands on him.

Once the debrief was finished, you finally gave into your desires and stalked around his desk. You did the one thing he didn't expect and pulled his cock out, sucking him off until he finished in your mouth before storming out of his office once again.

You knew you'd made an impression when he caught you in a deserted corridor not from your quarters. You didn't have time to speak before he was tugging you out of your uniform to fuck you right there against the wall.

Your levels of animosity never wavered, even as you spent more overnights in his quarters. Reminding him with every breath that you hated him and nothing would change that. Even while he was buried to the hilt in you, you'd remind him of your hatred of him and how you could find someone better to fuck.

Those times he'd stop fucking you and glare at you until you squirmed under him. He'd remind you that if you could get better, you wouldn't be in his bed taking his cock. If you could get better, he wouldn't know what you sounded like when you cum.

He'd keep still until you apologised to him, the only apology he'd ever weasel out of you before he'd start his brutal pace into you again.

Maker, you hated him with every fiber of your being, but damn, the sex was good.

Yea.............that was alot.....I think I'm gonna go throw myself away now.....

[evansbby]

Professor at college/Uni:

1. Ari - teaches Anthropology, you still have to work a lot but hes the profess. You can go to and chat with in his office comfortably sometimes even joking around.

2. Steve Rogers (beard): Civil studies or World War I and II history. Hes a stern professor but everyones lowkey aroused during his lectures -scared and Horny!

(Clean shaven): political science

3. Jake clearly teaches a computer class.

4. Curtis - hed be something like a specific psychologically class, economics or anything thats super hard you’d almost cry in his class every day but you’d learn a lot.

5. Ransom teaches business. His class is super hard!! Like is grading is almost unfair. But hed come off as approachable and all the girls flirt with him some just liking his charm while others hope it gets them a better grade but he’s dicking you down secretly.

6. Last one! Andy - law school obviously! Class is also hard but all his students gets jobs after ! Great ones!

Imagine you’re a huge slut (not derogatory) and love sex and therefore make it your mission to fuck all of them😈

Random smutty thots below the cut! Minors dni!

💜 First is Jake. He’s one of the younger professors and therefore really easy to talk to. You talk and joke all the time until one day you tell him your laptop won’t work and if he could please have a look at it. He opens it and you’ve purposely got a porno up “Hot ICT Professor Fucks Student Babe!” And Jake just… loses it. Fucks you in the computer lab in the darkness, his hand over your mouth bc there’s people using some of the computers two rows in front of you guys.

💜 Next, you set your sights on (clean shaven) Professor Rogers. He’s the Political Science professor who’s very prim and proper. New to the school, he’s shy and keeps to himself. You approach him after class saying you need help with an essay. And he’s so sweet, really trying his hardest to help you out… but he can’t help but grow distracted with how you suck your pen between your lips, the short skirt you’re wearing. Eventually, you can’t help but kiss him. And the way this man goes red! He eventually takes you, soft and sensual after laying you down in his desk, asking you if this is okay.

💜 Professor Ransom is next. All the girls are obsessed with him because of how flirty he is. It’s hard to approach him because he’s always surrounded by admirers. But you don’t even need to do anything — this man comes to you! Pinches your ass and tells you to see him after class. Says you’re so hot and he can see the way you look at him. Says your tiny skirt gets him so fucking hard every day. Tells you to wait for him outside his car when the university parking lot is a bit emptier. And this man fucks you like an animal. Inside his car and even outside, bent against the hood. He likes taking risks and you’re not the first student he’s fucked.

💜 Then there’s Professor Levinson. Ari is probably the most popular professor at the university — everyone loves him bc of how funny and approachable he is. You go to his office to have a chat with him — it’s normal bc of how friendly he is with students. You sit on top of his desk in your tiny skirt, crossing your bare legs, not missing how he licks his lips as you guys talk about the latest gossip. You get bolder, telling him you love how much his hair has grown over the summer, and could you please stroke it? He’s all smug, he knows what you’re doing, and he’s like “Sure, sweetheart. Anything for you.” You take it one step further, perching down on his lap and curling the ends of his hair around your fingers. He loses it then, and has you riding him in his soundproof office, the biggest dick you’ve taken yet, making you scream his name over and over.

💜 Then we have Curtis. He’s pretty quiet and aloof, just comes in and does his job and goes home. He’s not interested in talking to neither the students nor the other professors. But you impress him — you work super hard in his classes. He sets very difficult tests and assignments but you’re always top of the class. And you sit right in front during his lectures, and he’s enamoured by how interested you look. You one day ask him for extra classes, private classes bc you love his subject and love the way he teaches. He agrees, because he’s so impressed with you, extra classes — at his house. Who are you to say no? He teaches you a lot in that extra class — like how to take his big dick fully in your mouth (you already can, but you pretend like you need to be taught, bc you love the way he teaches).

💜 You set your sights on Professor Andy Barber. He’s also a practicing lawyer so he only comes in a few days a week. He’s also married with children — but that doesn’t stop you once you’ve set your sights on him. You tell him that you want to intern at his law firm, and he loves your initiative so he agrees. You’re the perfect intern — getting him his coffee, printing stuff for him etc. But some cases leave him stressed out and riled up. He doesn’t want to go home like that. One night, you slip into his office and offer to be his stress relief. The perfect pretty college intern to make him feel better, and no one ever has to know. And how can he refuse that?

💜 And then there’s the toughest nut to crack. Professor Steve Rogers (Nomad). He’s notorious for being very, very strict with a no-nonsense attitude. He’s scary — he’s made plenty of students cry with his tough attitude and strict marking. You try different tactics to seduce him — wearing the skimpiest clothes and always bending down to grab something when he passes by. But he doesn’t even spare you a glance. You realise you need to act bratty instead of sucking up to him. And so it begins. You undermine him during every lecture, ridicule him, act insolent. You eat during his lectures, you stop doing your homework, you talk loudly and just general bratty behaviour. And he’s so scary, you’re kind of scared you’ve pushed him too far. Finally, he asks you to stay after class. You’re expecting the spanking but you never expected him to use his belt. You also didn’t expect him to be so… filthy. “Bad girls like you get fucked up the ass without any prep.” By the time he’s done with you… you can’t walk. He drives you home, tells you that he hopes you’ve learnt your lesson. He still fails you in his class though, but that’s okay — it means you’ll see him next year.

Tell me who your fav dilfy professor was out of all of these!!!

[morethanonepage]

Re: the post u reblogged about couples actually enjoying spending time with each other/having in-jokes & whatnot. What would u do w that for John/Chas 👀👀

UGH anon i can't believe i didn't answer this very important question before, and esp bc i think maybe you were hoping for a full fic and not just. this random assortment of headcanons, but, obviously i have thots:

one of my fav John & Chas comics canon scene is when they goof on some rando at a bar bc he looks like a character from spinal tap, from which i infer: they probably watched it together, or else must've discussed it (w nostalgia given their own ~touring days) enough that john knows chas'll get the reference. HENCE i have inferred that they have at least somewhat similar tastes in pop culture and i assume that holds true across canons.

comics!john is also someone who canonically referenced dr who, star trek, and star wars, ergo, a BIT of a (sci-fi) nerd, which you wouldn't expect looking at him HOWEVER. chas knows 👀 and probably teases him about. not that chas is like. COOL but i see him as having idk more basic tastes. Airport fiction, etc. Stuff he can consume on his (minimal) downtime as a cabbie/dad/chauffeur/bodyguard/personal chef.

BUT anyway, obviously, i think they watch enough movies & TV together (or separately, but have similar enough tastes) that they have the same reference bank so in show canon i assume it’s like, john makes a lot of random snarky asides, chas laughs at it, and zed has no idea what they’re laughing about and after the first few times she asks, decides she really doesn’t want to. 

additionally, show canon is, when john is in town, they go to bars & music shows together (or i guess at least bars where live music is played? but either way john keeps him out ALL NIGHT and renee obviously hates it).

I think John maybe sometimes forgets that Chas isn't 100% aligned w him on stuff? I just recall TV john having that rambly convo w the bartender at the end of the [aired] pilot where hes talking about the sex pistols vs the ramones & then chas shows up [looking like an absolute DILF in his three layers of clothing in ATLANTA of all places] and im not sure if this actually happened but i can just picture john like, trying to rope chas into that discussion & chas being like, 🙄. 

Another john/chas friendship is just based on its longevity. chas has obvs known him a long time & remembers john in his "cutting up his t shirts & safety pining them back together " baby punk disaster stage, and/or his "frontman in a truly terrible band" thing, so even when john is being all broody (esp when john is being all broody) and/or the worst, chas can't completely divorce that from skinny, messy, but in some ways probably happier or at least less traumatized teenaged/early 20s y/o john.

Relatedly, comics!chas has nothing but disdain for Mucous Membrane, despite being their roadie. (i’m assuming he took the job bc he thought it would get him girls tbh.) And he's not afraid to mention it to john, even when john HAS not asked. Just full on roasts him about it, and john takes it so personally! A DELIGHT. any area where chas has a SLIGHT upper hand on john & relentlessly exploits it really just balances them and thus i’m always a fan.

theres a bit in show canon (I'm p sure it was in the New Orleans ep?) where john, chas, & zed are in the car & have to go talk to the police about something, and john starts throwing out different backstories they can use w the implication that they're the ones he & chas have used in the past, and chas is just like nodding along, and idk it's a small moment but it speaks to the fact that post-fire & pre-zed, john & chas DID engage in at least some spooky shit shenanigans, just the two of them. or maybe their ~bits go back to the MM days, or when they were even younger & john was out there just conning people out of things? Either way, EXCELLENT friendship history vibes.

(I actually just had kind of a sad thought which is, the fun hanging out & drinking in dive bars while listening to local bands stuff was a pre-fire/arthurian spell thing, bc after that chas may have mostly been hanging out w john bc they were doing ~spooky shit stuff)

also i’ve said it before but show!john & chas GO GROCERY SHOPPING TOGETHER IN THE PILOT and we DON’T get to see it and it’s NEVER referenced again and this is BIPHOBIA even more so than the fact the camera drifts when john kisses him in the bar

[kemakoshume]

𝐣𝐣𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐣𝐨𝐛𝐬 – ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

a/n; a “thot job” for men are basically jobs that men who are hoes stereotypically tend to do. so tonight, i’m gonna tell you what “thot job” vibe the jjk boys give me ~ warnings for suggestive-ness, slight nsfw; characters included under the cut: megumi, gojo, nanami, suguru, choso, mahito, and todo as a bonus.

yuuji ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ (line cook/bartender) –

that boy gives me the biggest “line cook at a chain restaurant in a college town that’s fucking all the servers and the one hostess that's of age” vibes. when he's not in the back of house cooking up oversalted underpriced food and hitting on all the pretty waitresses that come down to his side of the line, he's in the front of house behind the bar making signature drinks and stealing your girl.

wait, please imagine him behind the grill in a tan cap turned backward in a t-shirt with the sides and sleeves cut out (because fuck kitchen safety apparently) with those super lax fit sweats that always have a towel hanging from the waistband, and you can't ignore those super sexy non-slip sneakers. *yum*

+ he 100% is that guy you fuck as your first time to “get it over with” because he seems nice (and actually is) but he's also your first gut-punch about men because fuck you just saw him leave with your new coworker but he called you beautiful and was so gentle and now he's moved on? ugh.

megumi ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ (emt/paramedic) –

megumi... in a paramedic uniform? no wonder he's always getting hit on while he's on the job. drunk college girls that have to ride in the ambulance for alcohol poisoning? in love with him. old ladies on their last leg looking up at him from their gurney? can't believe their eyes. actually trying to force their body to reverse in age by sheer willpower so they can shoot their shot. closeted dudebros with broken arms trying to play the tough guy act? putty in his fucking hands.

he'd go out to his favorite bar after work with his coworkers and try not to make it too terribly obvious that he was taking home the cute little pediatrics nurse that also frequents the bar after her rounds. the next night after that? a radiology tech. then, an anesthesiologist. then, a random girl that just happened to stumble in the bar that night. week after week, until he's accidentally become the community dick all the women in his hospital can't get enough of. absolutely the type to dick you down so good you'd be stuck on stupid for him, having flashbacks about the dick throughout the day type shit. but, he's a fuck once and move on type of guy. he's busy saving lives you know.

nanami ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ (college english professor) –

no thoughts, head empty, just waxing poetically about literary greats. he will "quote jane austin, gatekeep, girlboss" his way into some pussy in a heartbeat.

now, he's a professional. he would never intend to sleep with his own students, at least not while they are currently his students, but some just manage to slip through the cracks. only some of them. never the freshmen. is it just him or do they look younger and younger every year? *ick* no no no. he would be a good-natured thot. a man with morals, if you will. if he just had to act on the brewing sexual tension that only really develops during his office hours, juniors and seniors were his only acceptable playthings. TAs were fun to pass around with the philosophy and social work professors too. his colleagues were also fair game, but only the teachers in other departments.

though, that new english professor that moved into the office next door does look like she'd be fun to get to know. maybe he would stop by and introduce himself properly sometime... it couldn't hurt.

gojo ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ (club promoter) –

he quite literally slides into the dms as a career, do i need to say more?

if there's an event, he's there. every club worth patronizing in his city, he's been to it, and he's always everyone's favorite person there. "come on babygirl, just come show your pretty face for an hour. I'll buy you a drink, and get you VIP. you can come sit in my section," is his sales pitch. always accompanied by a post on his instagram story of him at a similar event, showing off how pretty he looks in the sea of people taking up space in the background of his photos. he knows better than to actually dm you the picture, he wouldn't want to come off as a creep. but no, you see the post on his story, and ask him if you can bring your girls, and when he says yes you're hooked. rinse and repeat, for every event, every club, weekend after weekend.

every instagram model looking to cement herself as an in-the-know party girl, every cute little college girl who's new in his city and looking for trouble, every young mom looking to add some spice in her life again, on and on and on... he's done them all. the guys too, to be fair. he's an equal opportunity slut. there's plenty of him to go around.

suguru ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ (tattoo artist) –

pleasure and pain, that's the constant state of being that suguru geto is always in.

i mean... come on. who's able to resist a hot, long-haired, ARTISTIC gentle, steady-handed, patient, masochist with a pain kink? nobody. that's who. please, if you got tatted by him you'd be walking out of the studio with your thighs clamped closed or you'd be leaking on the floor the entire way out. he's just so... close while he does tattoos. he has to rest his arm on your body, touch you and maneuver your skin this way and that way to make his masterpiece come out flawless on your soft supple skin.

he knows, he fucking KNOWS he's irresistible. he rides a Harley and he just went up a size in his gauges and he has a fresh tattoo healing on his mid-thigh and his hair is up in a loose bun. he could get whoever the fuck he wants and the cocky fucker doesn't even have the decency to pretend that he couldn't. he doesn't shy away when you flirt, he doesn't avoid your gaze when you look down at him from where you're laid still on his tattoo table. he's a walking canvas filled with the most beautiful art you've ever seen. he's a walking magnet for pussy also, who can blame him?

choso ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ (barber) –

speaking of long hair... y'all know those super hot alternative style barbers that have long hair but are actually super talented barbers? yeah, that's choso. don't let the space buns fool you, he can do a fade like a pro. watch out though. he would 100% give your boyfriend a lineup in the afternoon and still slide in your dms after hours.

there's nothing else to say. he's hot and his job is to make other men look hot. there's a lot of power in that. it's also a tiring job, so he goes out on the weekends after he's cleaned his clippers and swept up his station and then he's free. free to go get into whatever the fuck he wants now that he's away from the constant flow of men that come into his shop. getting a pretty girl to come fill his bed for the night is even easier than doing a low fade.

mahito ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ (amazon warehouse worker/drug dealer) –

anyone who voluntarily works for amazon has slim to no will to live. he'll fuck whoever he wants whenever he wants because life is too god damn short. the pay at his job is also kinda shit for how tired his body always is, so he deals on the side. he frequents the underground scene all the time anyway, might as well make some money while he's scouring the underbelly of his city.

"want me to smoke you out?" is almost always how he gets 'em. offering to shotgun the weed every time a pretty girl finds herself stuck in his orbit. he's almost always tired and high off his ass, and always ready to find a new girl to keep his cock warm and his mind occupied.

bonus:

todo ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ (personal trainer) –

'nuff said. i refuse to elaborate.

[bestiesenpai]

drunk headcanons

Pour up, drank. Headshot, drank. Sit down, drank. Stand up, drank. I think you get the idea? Drinking headcanons for Nanami, Gojo, Geto, Sukuna, Mahito and Choso~

Sukuna

As a curse, I don’t think he’d be able to get drunk. As a human? He can get drunk, but it takes a lot. Like barrels upon barrels of liquor, you’d think his liver is almost rotted away at this point

Prefers dark liquor over light and will adamantly refuse any fruity mixed drink(but Sukuna, margaritas are so good!😭)

When he’s drunk, he doesn’t get louder but the confidence you thought was already at 100 triples lol he’s doing backflips and climbing trees. Basically doing shit no one asked him to do!

If he’s drinking with you say at a party or something he’s like a fucking guard dog and intercepting anyone that wants to come talk to you, even if it’s someone both of you know

He will not be caught off guard and potentially have you swept off your feet by someone else!

Is one to get impossibly hungry when he drinks, so on the way home from said party you’re making a stop at mcdonalds and he’s getting at minimum three combo meals all to himself

Mahito

Omgggg Mahito is a lightweight and he knows it and hates it but that doesn’t stop him from getting drunk off two beers lol

He absolutely mixes his liquor, one shot tequila one shot henny then he’s downing a rum and coke. His stomach fucking hates him and he hates himself the day after when he’s throwing it all up but he physically can’t stop himself from doing it

Gets really loud when he’s drunk and giggles at random shit in his head

Dances a lot too even if there’s no music, sings sometimes too

He’s already pretty extroverted but when he’s drunk it just gets stronger, he’s trying to make friends with people but they can’t even see him cuz he’s a curse

It doesn’t matter if he only has two beers or a whole liquor cabinet he has the worst hangovers ever and cannot function the day after a night out

Choso

This man is demonic and doesn’t mix his liquor with anything, doesn’t even add ice or anything he’ll drink it straight from the bottle

Never pulls a face at the after taste, also is pretty good about sticking to one drink the whole night, I think his favorite would be tequila, pacifically patron

It doesn’t take him as much as Sukuna to get drunk but he’s definitely not a lightweight, and even after a night of drinking most of the time he’s still good to be the DD

When he’s properly sloshed he will just pass out

You have to keep him stimulated while he’s drunk or he just goes to sleep, but while he’s asleep he’ll sleep talk and you can have a whole conversation with him lol

He’s the most likely to not recognize you and say ‘sorry, I have a partner’ when you try to take him home that night lol you could be married and he’ll be like ‘begone thot I am betrothed to another’

Gojo

He definitely mixes his liquor like Mahito the only difference is he can handle it a little better

Is not shy to get a fishbowl full of margarita and live it up like a sexually repressed 40 something white suburban mom on a girls night out

Loves going to clubs and getting drunk off his ass and dancing to the music for the whole night and not giving a shit about who he is or what power he truly holds - mans just wants to enjoy a night of being a normie

Is in the middle between Mahito and Choso as far as alcohol tolerance goes, I’d say a good amount of shots will get him properly tipsy and then a couple mixed drinks is enough to get him nice and drunk

As a drunk he just gets more cocky and will challenge people to drinking competitions or arm wrestling or something like that

Also loves taking drunk pictures/snapchat videos, he always wakes up to a camera roll full of shitty blurry pictures of him and strangers

Geto

I headcanon that he has an alcohol intolerance, so his nose gets stuffy and he’ll get lightheaded way easier, might even fall over more from low blood pressure, it’s like he suddenly caught a cold after just two drinks

But he doesn’t have a low tolerance, he just can’t drink a lot in general lol

That will not and cannot stop him from enjoying alcohol at brunch, Geto is a brunch KING. Double fists sangria and mimosas along with a big ass meal

When he does get proper drunk he makes sure to pop an antihistamine beforehand so he can enjoy it!

Drunk Geto is kind of the same as sober Geto except he won’t hold back any teasing or sexual remarks/jokes and he’s smoking cigarettes, loves to smoke when he’s drunk and blow the smoke in your face and make you whine about how gross it is

Even with how keen his mind can be he can easily get swept up in fanfare, and if there’s moshing in the pit he’s in the center of it having the time of his life. Or he’s drunkenly debating conspiracy theories with other drunk people acting like he’s having a gigabrain conversation

Nanami

He is a wine snobbbb and fucking proud of it! Always knows the best pairings of food and wine and constantly gets invites from private vineyards to come taste the wine and stuff

RELENTLESSLY bullies you if you don’t like wine/like cheap liquor, he refuses to let that shit pass his lips. The good thing about this is that he always has top shelf shit

Nanami has a decent tolerance to alcohol, preferring to only have a few glasses of like whiskey on the rocks on date nights or something; he likes seeing you drunk more than him being drunk, he thinks it’s cute

When he does get drunk, there’s not a drastic change? His face will be softer and so will his movements and words, he wants you on his lap cuddling into you and just smiling softly, he can still hold a good conversation when he’s drunk but he might take a while to answer

Falls asleep pretty easily like Choso, so don’t be surprised if he nods off during a lull in conversation, but it’s easy to get him awake again

Suffers from bad hangovers, poor baby! If he knows he’s going to be drinking, he’ll lay out pedialyte, some headache pills and crackers for when he wakes up in the morning

[ghostbeam]

RAN HERE FOR ANY THOTS U MIGHT HAVE OF GINOZA 😚🌷 if it inspires u!!!!!

CASS I HAVE SOOOOO MANY THOUGHTS ABT GINOZA…MANY THOUGHTS HEAD SO FULL

Because he’s so observant and like has more of an analytical mind, I feel like he can always tell if somethings wrong with you. Like if you’re sad or upset or something like that he can see it immediately.

And if he can tell ur upset he’s trying to cheer you up as soon as possible. But I feel like his was of like bringing your mood up is a lot more subtle than other people would like. If he wants to make you laugh he’ll whisper some sarcastic comment under his breath for you to hear. Just like small things like that. He’ll try to distract you from it by asking you questions and trying to get you to talk about something you’re interested in

If you’re alone together and he notices you’re upset, his methods are a little different. I think he’s a lot more open with like asking you about the problem and like talking through it with you. But he’s also incredibly touchy like he wants to listen to u rant but he wants you in his lap or lying on his chest while you do ajshdkjddk

Speaking of talking, he is the KING of communication. It’s so important to him. He works hard to make sure you’re relationship works and part of that is communication. He wants know everything you’re feeling, which to some people could be annoying, but he just wants to make sure you’re comfortable.

If we’re talking season 1 Gino I feel like getting to know him is probably really difficult. Like if you’re into him, he doesn’t really pick up on flirting or like doesn’t answer many personal questions about himself. He seems really against opening up, but he’s secretly happy that you wanna try so hard to learn about him. I think he’s still like this even in the later season, I just think he’d be a little more open to getting to know others.

Opening up takes a lot of time for him, but once he does, he just gives his whole self to you. It’s kind of like a weight lifted off his shoulders, being able to open up and not have his guard up around you. He can relax into loving you, and he wants to give you everything.

He’s also sooooo touch starved it’s crazy. When you’re alone he is constantly attached to you, has to be holding your hand or hugging you, won’t even let you cook by yourself, won’t even let you leave while he cooks. He’s also completely in love with laying in your lap while you run your fingers through his head. It instantly relaxes him. He’ll fall asleep in like five minutes if you do that.

He’s a big animal guy, clearly since he loves his dog so much🥺 but I feel like he knows a lot of stuff about animals for some reason ajhsdjdk like he can pull all these random facts out of nowhere and you’re kind of like wtf??? But it’s really endearing.

Kinda similar to the animal facts, this man knows SO MUCH about random things too. Not even like things specific to his job either. Like he just knows a lot. Knows things you wouldn’t expect him to, things that you know no one else knows. Like sometimes it feels like he’s life a whole other life with all the shit he knows.

I kind of see him as like a music guy for some reason. This probably isn’t even in character or anything but for some reason I just feel like he loves music. It helps him relax and like the animal facts, he has a ton of knowledge about them. He’ll talk your ear off about anything and everything, play a song for you and tell you all kinda of things about the production and the artist and the lyrics. Huge music nerd, probably really into like classical music cause it’s calms him down, but also because the composers are really interesting. And jazz too omg he’s a jazz nerd. But he likes everything.

I kinda headcanon that after everything with his dad he suffers from amnesia for a little bit. And then once you get into a relationship with him and sleep over and stuff it’s the first time in forever that he can sleep ajshkdjdk

Also incredibly protective. All the pp men are obviously. You have to be in this line of work. But where I feel like Kagari and Sugo are like anxiously protective and worried over you, Ginoza is more just like extra aware of you when you’re working. Like he knows you can handle yourself, and it’s something he really admired about you, but he’s just a little extra careful when looking out for you.

Words of affirmation king. Tells you he loves you every day, tells you he’s proud of you, compliments you. He just wants you to know how he feels about you, and he likes to do it by actually telling you. He shows you in other ways like gifts and touch, but mostly he just likes to talk about it kahskdjdkd I just wants to talk about how much he loves u!!!

I know I wrote it before but this man eats pussy to relax. Yeah it’s for you but like. It’s for him he’s eating you out for him ajshkdjdkd he just wants to please you!!!

Speaking of!!! Pleasing you is his top priority. Obviously. It’s almost more rewarding to him than actually getting himself off (almost). He just really craves your validation and like melts at your praise.

He’s a sub leaning switch for SURE!! Loves when ur in control, loves being told what to do. He can definitely dom sometimes, and he does it well, but I think he leans more towards subbing.

I feel like these are all over the place but oh well ajshdkhddk it’s hard to gather my thoughts when I think about him he makes me crazy<3

[aceopmari]

If the Straw Hats Had a Reality Show Dedicated to Pirates Headcanon! Ft: Law!

With how infamous the pirate crew gotten, it was only natural that they were soon granted the rights to have their own reality show, like other famous pirates in the Grand Line and the New World.

Get ready for Keeping Up with the Straw Hats!

Luffy: Whether it was his strength, or his childlike innocence, Luffy was a fan favorite!

He often ignored the producers suggestions to make the show more interesting.

Luffy didn’t like when the producers told him to punch a random person on the street when they were visiting an island.

Was not getting paid, as he owed the producers over 10,000 berris for punching the camera one time in anger, when the director attempted to take his meat away. The director was only making a suggestion for a much healthier diet for the star of the show.

Luffy also skipped out on a lot of confessional sessions. Mainly because he really didn’t have much to hide to begin with. But if he did go, it was mainly to either show appreciation for his crew or to make public declarations:

“Sanji’s cooking the BEST!”

“Do we get free meat with this show?”

“I’m going to kick Mingo’s ass!”

Zoro: The viewers found Zoro amusing! Whether it be him constantly getting lost, or his heated arguments with Sanji. The producers would rush over to him, cameras and all whenever they caught the two together.

Zoro was surprisingly popular with female viewers. They enjoyed watching him sweat whenever he would work out in the crows nest.

Zoro didn’t care about the show really. Just as long as he gets to work out, drink booze, and sleep, he’s good.

The producers always looked forward to his confessionals after he fights with Sanji:

“That damn shitty cook! Just who the hell does he think he is?!”

“That curly brow dumbass is gonna get himself killed one of these days!”

Sanji: Was angry that Zoro was racking in more views from the female viewers than he was!

Why him?! Why not me?!

He kicked the camera man straight in the chin when he told him that Zoro was naturally more popular than he was.

Sanji desperately tried to win over the female viewers by showing off his fighting skills or his culinary expertise.

He was excited when he finally got some fan mail from the fans!

It turned out to be from the okamas though…

If Sanji went to the confessionals, it was usually to cry about why women weren’t interested in him…or to talk shit about Zoro:

“Just what does he have that I don’t on this show?”

“Why aren’t all the beautiful ladies watching me?”

Little did Sanji know, he caught the eyes of Violet and Pudding.

Nami: An absolute slut for the camera! The producers LOVED her!

One couldn’t tell who was using who more. All that mattered was what would bring them more views and more money.

Whenever it was filming time, Nami would purposely wear a bikini without the jeans to draw in the male viewing audience.

Add the extra seductive act she would put on, and nosebleeds would cover millions of transponder snail television screens.

Loved to give tours of the Sunny and show off her designer clothes.

Would parade around the islands, using Momonosuke as an accessory to manipulate the fans into loving her more.

Nami LOVED to take advantage of the fanbase, often subtly asking for gifts mainly money through the fan mail she receives. Next to Robin, she had the most.

Nami became very vain and strict with the crew on how to present themselves for the camera and had to keep members like Luffy in check to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid to cause the show to be cancelled. But just in case, as a backup, she could always start an Only Fans.

One might say that the fame and fortune was getting to her head, as she would purposely start up drama whenever she was out on an island. Would probably steal from a city mayor if it meant she could get the fans taking for weeks.

Whenever she was in the confessionals, it was mainly to complain about Luffy’s or Zoro’s antics.

Would probably shit talk about Robin, although faking it the whole time, to get some drama started:

“Honestly! I wish Luffy would just use some common sense for once!”

“Robin thinks she’s all that! But everyone knows, I’m the prettiest girl on the show!”

“I’ll let you film me in the bath. It’ll cost you 1 million beri!”

Franky: Loved the camera! One sided on the producers part since they didn’t enjoy Franky’s sense of…ahem…style.

He would dance, be loud, or show off his cool body.

If he was in the confessional room, it was to complain openly to the producers on why they did him dirty.

“Hey! I saw last weeks episode! Why did you cut my scene out, bro?!”

Ussop: Although not nearly as popular as Nami, Ussop was interesting enough to get some viewers watching the show, even unintentionally.

Ussop used the show to make himself seem cooler, mainly through the confessionals.

The lies he told caught the attention of viewers worldwide, though very few could sees past his lies.

The producers didn’t care, so long as there were viewers.

“Yes it was I! The Great Captain Ussop who defeated CP9!”

“Wait wait! Cut that out! Cut that scene out! I meant SniperKing!”

Chopper: The Worlds Favorite Cutie Pie!

Choppers looks alone were enough to win the hearts of viewers! Mostly the female reindeer mink.

Combine that with his child like innocence and he’s instantly a popular household name!

On top of that he already has many sponsorships from multiple sweet brands. (Mainly cotton candy ones.)

Choppers pretty shy on camera and often does his usual dance when he’s nervous. The audience eats it up.

He doesn’t gossip. When it comes to confessionals, he’s usually talking about Zoro’s recklessness when it comes to bandages, or Sanji’s nose bleeding habits.

Jimbei: Not particular interested in TV or fame, but used being on TV to his advantage to spread his word and try stop discrimination against fishmen.

The producers found him boring and didn’t look forward to filming him, especially at confessionals…but at the very least, he was able to bring in views due to his former status as a warlord.

Robin: Had many admirers! She enjoyed being on the show. Often is seen on screen on a lavish shopping trip with Nami.

She does her part to make the show more interesting, whether it is be her dark sense of humor or putting her devil fruit powers to good use.

She once used it on a producer when he asked her to do something suggestive for views. After that, the producers never messed with her again, out of fear for their lives.

Not much for confessionals though, except when she’s expressing how amused she is at Luffy’s antics.

She may appeared to be calm and quiet but you better believe that the rumors she would stir up, would get the people talking!

Piers Morgans was having a field day with the headlines:

“Did Cat Burgler Nami Get Breast Implants?!”

“Roronoa Zoro: Honorable Swordsmen or Man Thot?! Gets Caught Sleeping with Wano’s Most Beautiful Woman!”

“Is Monkey D Luffy, Secretly Seeing His Crewmates Sister From the Germa Kingdom?!”

Brook: Fans loved seeing Soul King on screen. In some episodes he’s either playing music or he’s attempting a panty raid in Nani’s room. Which often results in him getting beat up by her every time.

Anything he says in the confessional‘s ends up with his signature laugh.

Law: Made a special guest appearance since starting hiw alliance with Luffy.

You can imagine his look of surprise, when the crew showed up on Punk Hazard with a camera crew and all.

He wasn’t at all interested in being on TV. His famous “I hate bread” made him an instant fan favorite. And meme along the fanbase.

He didn’t like that…

Law hated being followed around by the camera crew on the Thousand Sunny or when he simply just wanted peace. He frequently scolded the producers to stop or told Luffy to call off the cameras, but neither listened.

He only wanted to discuss the alliance plans in private with the crew and didn’t want the producers to catch any of it for the world to see.

As time went on, and Law was getting sucked into the Straw Hat shenanigans. He found himself wandering into the confessional where he would frequently complain about the crew. Mainly the captain.

“Mugiwara-ya will be the death of me…”

“Rorona-ya has no sense of direction…”

“How has the crew survived this long? They don’t ever strategize when it comes to making a plan!”

Viewer Reactions:

Sabo: Enjoys watching his little brother on screen, and always has a good laugh. Koala would often scold him for abandoning his duties to go watch the show.

Hancock: Would briefly abandon her duties as Pirate Empress for the whole day if it meant, she could watch Luffy on screen.

Took up most of his fan mail, and gifts that had meat.

Hancock would be envious of Nami and Robin on her screen, wishing she was their with Luffy.

Mihawk: Reality shows weren’t his usual choice of television entertainment, but he did watch, soley to watch over Zoro’s progress as a swordsmen. He would lie if Perona asked him if he found what he saw the slightest bit amusing.

Ace: He got a kick out watching his little brother on screen. Often laughing at Luffy’s antics. He saw that Luffy’s crew was slowly riding in more views on the reality show The WhiteBeard Pirates had. Ace wasn’t too worried but he knew he had to step it up.

Shanks: Often shaking his head and smiling in amusement at the sight of Luffy on screen. Would sometimes watch the show with Ace as the two spoke fondly of him.

Big Mom: Was furious that Luffy was racking in more views than her crew combined. Everyone used to love Big Mom’s wedding cake special episodes.

“MUGIWARAAAAA!” *Smashes TV*

Garp: Nearly choked on his crackers at the sight of his crazy grandson invading his screen.

“LUFFY NOOOOOO!”

Smoker: If any marine soldier was caught watching, Keeping Up with the Straw Hats, you better believe that he’ll would be raised at HQ. in secret though, he would watch it. Not for entertainment, but more so to study the Straw Hats moves.

Buggy: Screeching out in jealously seeing Straw Hat Luffy was popular enough to be given his own show and not him.

Kid: Was sitting at a bar one night and spat out his drink in anger at the sight of Straw Hat on his screen.

Nearly popped a blood vessel when he saw Law on screen.

“The hell?! Even Trafalgar?! How come those bastards get their own show?!”

Killer remained silent. He knew the reason why the Kid Pirates never picked up the rights to a pirate reality show was because of how scary Kid was.

Dragon: Used the show as a way to keep up with his son. Although in secret, since he didn’t want his army to notice.

Germa 66: Mixed reactions.

“That’s no son of mine.” Judge would say.

Reiju giggled at the sight of the screen. After a mission, she would look forward to watching the show to see her brother.

Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji expressed annoyance and criticized Sanji. Although would never admit that they were each jealous that Sanji got to be on a reality show instead of the Germa Kingdom itself.

Yamato: Wants to be on the show. Not for the fame, but mainly to spread the word and tell the world what a horrible father, Kaido is and spread Oden’s legacy to the world.

[rexsjaigeyes]

Hello! In your opinion, which clones would most to least likely love an s/o who is submissive and a pillow princess in bed?

This is a fantastic thirst thot, please enjoy this random stream of consciousness I wrote lmao 😌

Okay so in my horny brain, I believe that most (if not all) of the clones can be switches and don’t necessarily NEED their partner to be super submissive (but maybe that’s just because I want to top all of them, thx vee). But here are the ones would be more appreciative of a pillow princess (aka they tend to top more often than not and don’t mind if you just lie there and let them take care of you):

Cody - pretty self-explanatory, he even tries to top from the bottom sometimes, so he loves pillow princesses

Wolffe - pft do I even need to explain

Fives - even though he’s a fucking bratty bottom most of the time, he loves pillow princesses bc it’s the only time he can be FULLY in control. Otherwise it’s a total power-play until he finally gives up and becomes the pillow princess lmao

Hunter - even though he’s definitely more on the submissive side, I also see him as a big service top because he gets so lost in the feeling (and sight) of you coming undone from his touch that he could probably cum just from getting you off... so yeah he loves pillow princesses

Rex - he loves to service top too and he struggles with power-play or brat taming, so he’d rather you just lie back and relax instead of being bratty or playing for power

Dogma - he's a big switch, but he fucking loves it when you just let him be in control and let him take care of you. He fucking worships your body, so you don’t even have to move a muscle

Tup - he just loves taking care of you and will do his damn best to make you fall apart with minimal effort from your part

Okay there are probably a bunch more I am missing but my brain is turning to goo just thinking about this, so let’s move onto the ones who like pillow princesses the least (but this doesn’t mean they don’t like them AT ALL)

Fox - unpopular opinion but I hc that the man is so stressed and tired all the time that he likes when you put in some of the work (ahem and when you top him)

Tech - I hc him as very shy in bed, more of the submissive type so I feel like (at least in the beginning) he would need a lot of guidance from you

Wrecker - don’t get me wrong, he LOVES taking care of you but... he’s very often the bottom because you have to take things slow with how big he is, so he likes when you’re the one in control of depth, pace, etc.

Fives - okay LISTEN, he had to be on both sides because that’s how much of a bratty switch he is, alright. I know it doesn’t make sense but just accept it. Okay fine, think about it this way: he kinda just melts into a puddle when you’re pegging him... that’s all I’ll say for now

Aaaand that’s all I can come up with for now, please feel free to send more thots about who y’all think would fit in these categories

[visceravalentines]

Hello. I'm here again to say things. I know it won't help you much, but

Feeling bad is normal. It's terribly unpleasant, but there's nothing to be ashamed of. And you, of course, know, that it is better not to let everything take its course, not to bring it to a bad. It itself is unlikely to stop. It's not a shame to ask for help and support. If you feel it, it's better to seek help as soon, as possible.

You're amazing and wonderful. Please, don't forget to take care of yourself and rest as much, as you need. I'm really sorry, that you feel that way. It's a disgusting feeling and you don't deserve it.

Love and proud of you. Random anon from the Internet.

I am laying in a field with my head in your lap, my love. And it is beautiful and peaceful and I'm so grateful for you and your sweet words.

This week has been one of the worst weeks I've had at work in a long time. Death comes in patterns, we often have groupings of similar circumstances, demographics, or manners of death and we have a saying that things come in threes. Well, death forgot how to count, and I have a litany of seven names and faces in my head this week. I will spare you the details because I don't want to trigger anyone.

I had the worst panic attack I've ever had last night. Those are rare for me. I'm pretty resilient. But sometimes it sneaks up on you. And especially when my job is to keep it together so everyone else can fall apart, sometimes I don't notice when I am not thriving.

I've been better and I've been worse. Tomorrow's my day off and I'm going to brunch with my best friend who is also a mortician and we'll talk about it. I'm probably going to start therapy soon (I probably should've started therapy a long time ago). Time rolls on.

I would love it if people sent me cool things today. Tell me your weekend plans or show me your pets. Send me your headcanons and thots and comfort fics. I could use some small good things today.

[trans-axian-archive]

actually yknow what it was idiotic of me to think I could say anything on this blog without having to unpack it for yall so we're just gonna stick this one back in the mail. I was serious when I said I'm going back to bed

wei wuxian had to cannibalize corpses? that's what we're goin with now? cannibalism? not even gonna Try and unpack that one for yall find the scissors and do it yourself I need to go back to bed

[sonyandsam]

Some dream fuckery nsfw thots

Okay so. Since they're sharing a brain kinda I can imagine Johnny sees what she's dreaming about a lot. And since she's a single horny bitch she tends to have some pretty frequent wet dreams. And at first Johnny was into it. Guess it was kind of a weird voyeurism thing watching her get railed in her dreams by random older men she'd seen on tv or in passing on the streets. Bit then she started dreaming about that old fucking corpo Takemura and he started to get pissed.

There no way that old fuck who can barely take a fucking selfie can fuck her that good. He decided to interrupt her dreams one night, tired of playing cuck to a bunch of fake dream men. And Clearly she hasn't had real good dick in while because the ones her mind is coming up with aren't nearly as impressive as his own. So while Viera is starting to get finger fucked in her dream, the visage of Takemura starts to glitch. Switch. Shes seeing Johnny now. "Oh hell no." She tries to pull his hand out of her but his free one pins hers to the bed above.

"Oh no, princess. I'm not about to watch that geriatric 'saka bastard give you weak dick for another fucking night in a row."

Shes embarrassed, clearly. Fully lucid in this dream state. "You've been watching my fucking dreams??? What the hell is wrong with you Johnn--~y." His name trails off into a moan as he thrusts those silver fingers in hard.

"You seem to forget, we share a headspace. You really are a fucking whore too, with how freaky you like to get I might have even kept you as a groupie back in the day." He's smirking, leering down at her through his aviators. It isn't often he sees V all defenseless like this, and it makes him even cockier knowing he got the jump on her in her own dreams.

V does the only thing she can think of to get that smirk off his face. She headbutts him. That gets him for just a second before pulling his hand out of her and putting it around her throat. His glasses are knocked off and she can see the lust and rage in them. "I knew you liked to play rough but it looks like you really want a fucking beating..."

He squeezes and see feels it, like he could actually kill her here and now. And it just excites her more. "Well... I like to fight back..." She wheezes.

"Well let's see how well you fight back then." His silver hand moves from her throat to her cheeks, pushing her mouth open for him to slide his human finger in there. "Suck on em. Then maybe I'll be nice enough to let you suck my cock and breathe."

She lets him slip them into her mouth, lacing her tounge around and through as best she can with his hands on her face. Until she bites down. Hard. He pulls them out and on reflex smacks her across the face. "Somehow I knew you'd be psycho enough to do that..."

She just smirks, the stinging on her cheek going straight to her core. Her panties are gonna be a fucking mess when she wakes up. "Oh no. What, you gonna cry about it?"

He glared daggers at her as he stands on his knees on the bed. "Make sure you cry about it." He grabs her hair rough and pulls her close to his impressively large bulge. "You're gonna let me fuck that weak throat of yours and if you so much as scrape your teeth on my cock too hard, I'll blow your brains out," He pulls his revolver from the back of his waist back. "You understand?"

She bites her lip, eyeing the zipper sperating her from her orders. "Guess I don't have a choice..." She is quick to unzip his pants, his dick springing free and hitting her cheek. Man wasn't kidding when he bragged. It is pretty impressive.

"Mouth open." He presses the gun to her temple, and she quickly obliged.

"Least you can actually listen sometimes." He gets his hand out of her hair, giving himself a few strokes before sliding into her mouth, slowly thrusting further and further until he's forced it down her throat. Shes gagged, a few tears rolling down her cheeks as she tries to relax. He doesn't give her a moment though, starting to make good on his threat. Speed fucking her throat so hard she can't breathe. That gun is still pressed to her head but his other hand is back in her hair, giving himself the leverage to use her as he pleases. And given by how her eyes have rolled back into her head, she seems to be enjoying it too.

But yes. Shes loving it. Johnny is good about pulling out just long enough to give her a pleading breath. She'd never truly beg him though. Once he feels he's close enough to bust he pulls out, before shoving her back against the bed. His fingers finding their way back inside her with even less resistance than before. "God you're real fucking wet... I figured a bitch like you'd have some prime pussy." She just whines in response before turning her head away. No way johnny would let that fly. No. He grabs her by the face once again, pulling her up just enough to look her on the eyes. "I wanna see the look on your face as I ruin you for any other person who even tries to get in your pants." He punctuated every word with a rough thrust up of his fingers. Sliding two more in easily. The stretch stings bit she loves it.

His lips are on her neck and breasts, leaving harsh bites and red marks in his wake. God he wished these would show on her in reality. Just be one more tiny way for people to know he was still here. He listened intently to her moans and gasps, knowing well enough by now that she was so close to cumming. Oh no, not on his watch.

He pulled his fingers out, smirking as her bliss turned to anger. "God damn it Johnny I was-" she was abruptly stopped by the image of him, fingers in a V against his mouth as he took a taste of her. God if her could only taste her for real. Even in her dreams she tasted just so good.

"You don't get to cum until I say so, got it?" His tone was just so that she could only nod. He grabbed her by the face again, pulling her up. "Hands and knees, now. I'll even let you have a pillow for that delicate head of yours." He let her go, tossing the pillow over.

She shook the haze out of her head, smirking. "You really can't make me do that. This is still my dream you know."

He huffed out a laugh, moving his grip to her neck before forcing her face to the mattress. "And yet you can't even bring yourself to stop me." He plunges his cock straight in with no hesitation, causing her to nearly scream into the mattress. Fuck she needed this just as bad as he did.

[ak8shi]

FWB HQ Boys: In which you beat the player at his own game!

warnings: Time skip spoilers, mentions of sex(all characters are 18+), stupid people in love

a/n: I love one(1) libra man!! I love Atsumu’s character and the way he’s developed in hq and I think that this is a very probable way in which he finds love !! thank you all so much for loving the first installment so much <3 I-I went a little overboard with this one but ,, xoxo Chlo

━Miya Atsumu

Let’s start with a little background; I think we can all agree Atsumu is and always has been popular with the ladies

…But that doesn’t necessarily mean the ladies are popular with him LMAO

He’s truly the emotionally unavailable heartbreaker and he built himself quite a reputation without even knowing it

This dude doesn’t even really fuck around with girls, maybe a few meaningless flings his senior year but besides that, he only has eyes for one lady and her name begins with the letter V and ends with ball

LET’S GO

So you’ve known Atsumu for years unfortunately,,, and you surely know about how he treats the girls that approach him with confessions and boxes of chocolates

You don’t approve of it at all, but your family is practically family with the Miya’s and you’ve literally spent every major holiday with them since you can remember

You: Atsumu would it kill you to show some respect towards these women

Atsumu: If she breathes, she’s a thot

….smh… a fucking mess someone please put him in his place

However your mom was always happy that you could be around the twins since you were an only child, and she loved the idea of you having two brothers who would protect you from the evils of college men little did she know,,

You hate to admit it and we hate to see it, but you started to develop a crush on him your freshman year of high school.. you suppose it was because you spent so much time with him and you saw parts of him that a lot of people didn’t get to see I mean you also saw him with his jersey on and off pretty often how could you resist

For example, every Halloween you had a sleep-over tradition where you watched horror films after trick-or-treating and Atsumu was scared SHITLESS every year, I’m talking ripping your favorite blanket off you and burying his face in it to block out the movie, he would threaten you and Osamu about telling people at school about it

Him, a 17 year old teen standing in your doorway at 3:40 am: c-can I sleep on yer floor I LOVE HIM SKAKAKAJSW

You, filming him and sending it to Suna on snap: sure Atsumu <3

You found yourself entranced when he automatically gave you his school cardigan on the walks home from school when it was cold or raining, and completely enraptured by his cute little accent

Atsumu: did ya know yer a fuckin’ idiot bimbo stupid butt crack for not bringin’ yer jacket

Atsumu: yer lucky I’m a gentleman

You: ...

Osamu: god…..

It was naïve to think he would ever reciprocate feelings especially with his entire life being his volleyball career, and you convinced yourself it was a tiny high school crush and eventually you managed to repress it

Too much was on the line; you didn’t want to make both of your families awkward, and you needed to focus on your studies as one of the top students at Inarizaki yes ma’am

Besides you loved him like family right ???

RIGHT ???

The twins are a year older than you, and Atsumu had just signed to play professionally for MSBY!!

You at his official signing: wow, looks like you don’t have to resort to living on the streets after all

Him: yeah ❤️

You kind of forgot about how you felt about him since you weren’t seeing either of the twins consistently anymore with how busy both of you were; you stayed in contact, but nothing really serious

It was weird because you were still in high school while the boys were experiencing college and doing their own thing… you drifted apart honestly and you felt a bit awkward talking to them sometimes, you felt like you were bothering them Atsumu would probably tease you and say that you were

Another year passed and you were heading to college! You are living your best life, meeting new people, and then you got the text from your mom that you were doing Thanksgiving with the Miya’s,, you weren’t sure if that meant you would be seeing both twins but something about the possibility of seeing Atsumu again made something stir in your chest

Fall break hit and you found out both the twins and you were back at home since Atsumu also had a rare break from training and his regular professional season

You were helping Osamu out at his shop, since it was his first time dealing with the overflow of Thanksgiving season as a new business owner

You’re helping close the shop, when you hear the door jingle; you turn to say a polite “sorry we’re closed for the day,” but you’re met with what seems like a new and improved and muscular Atsumu OH NO

He looks amazing and so much older than you remember??? And he’s thinking the same thing about you!!! Like wow she’s changed a lot since she started college, I’ve missed a lot apparently ??

You immediately fall into his arms, inhaling his familiar scent, Osamu rolling his eyes at the two of you and telling you to get lost before he yaks

You leave the shop with Atsumu, inviting him to your house; as you enter, you catch your mom leaving to pick up some last-minute groceries for the Thanksgiving meal

She’s acts way happier to see Atsumu than she acted when you came home LMAO later she doesn’t shut up about how handsome and manly he’s become, but you just pull him away to your room and lock your door behind you

He goes to sit on your flower-patterned comforter from your childhood, newly washed thanks to your mother

Atsumu: so…. what’s up with you..?

You can’t control the churning of your stomach all of a sudden; you can’t remember him ever looking at you this way, like he’s looking at a woman

The feelings come rushing back, and literally all you can think about is kissing him

You lean back on your dresser in front of the bed, and a wave of need to express yourself washes over you,

“Atsumu, I missed you.”

You don’t even know what’s happening until you’re trapped in between Atsumu and the door, his mouth gently pressed against yours, his warm hands caressing your hips

He asks if this is okay, and all you can do is moan back a yes in response

Let’s just say your mom might need to clean your comforter again lmaoo

It’s complicated and you’re both kinda confused after… like no one admitted that they had feelings for the other and its not like either of you can just disappear from the other’s life like a random hook-up

BUT BOTH OF YOU ARE TOO STUPID AND STUBBORN TO REALIZE YOU LIKE EACH OTHER AND WANT A RELATIONSHIP I-

Like he’s literally cuddling you and kissing you and asking you about college in your childhood bedroom naked what

And it ISN’T uncomfortable at all

It feels so right to be in his arms, and you’re in disbelief about what happened??? What even like how have you gone all this time without doing anything honestly

You suddenly hear your dad pull into the garage, and you’re both up and putting your clothes on as fast as possible

It’s embarrassing when you look back on it, how long the hook-ups went on, but this was a common occurrence whenever the two of you were home

It was basically like you were dating and doing long-distance without the label

IT WENT ON FOR ALMOST A YEAR 🤡

Osamu during next year’s Thanksgiving meal: I think we should go around the table and say what we’re thankful for, I’ll go first. I’m thankful that two people at this table are getting laid despite the fact that I’m not 😊

Your parents:

Atsumu, in many ways, is oblivious to what his feelings mean after not really being in any real relationships and blocking out all the girls during high school,

He would find himself texting you after each of his matches, hoping you had watched him and his heart would flutter when you complimented him on his sets

Atsumu on the phone with you: yeah I’m just chillin’ with the boys rn 😏

Sakusa: get the fuck off my bed and get off the phone with your girlfriend so I can sleep

Atsumu: she’s not my girlfr-

Sakusa, talking loud enough for you to hear: I literally don’t care but don’t you have her picture saved as your lockscreen?

He tried to hook-up with someone when he was away playing a tournament in the summer, but it wasn’t the same and it was only good if he imagined it was you

He never did it again and before coming home for Christmas, he called Osamu to finally ask him what to do

Osamu: about time you meathead

Osamu literally spells it out to this man; he has been and is in love with you and he needs to do something about it asap before someone else snatched you away

Atsumu: why didn’t ya just say somethin’ ? Ya know I’m not good at these typa things !

I can’t he’s something else

So it’s Christmas, and he asks if you would want to go see the town square’s Christmas lights with him

Of course you say yes, you’re just really excited to finally see him after so long !!

Atsumu with rosy cheeks ugh spare me

He picks you up and greets you with a kiss to your temple, and he has a little gift baggie with him; he hands it to you to open and you pull out his old school cardigan

“I-I thought maybe you would want it since ya always stole it from me in high school, and since I’m half-way ‘round the world most of the time”

It smells just like him, you thank him with a kiss to his cheek and you tuck it away in your bedroom before leaving hand-in hand to see the colorful lights dazzling in the night sky

You talked to Osamu about your relationship with his brother and you want Atsumu to make a move honestly; you want to be sure he wants this since you’ve literally liked him since high school

You’re not sure what you are expecting, but when Atsumu has you in his arms, your back against his chest and his chin on your shoulder as you watch the Christmas carolers, you don’t expect him to whisper into your ear,

“hey, will ya be my girl?”

You turn around to give him a surprised look, his hand bringing yours to his mouth to plant a soft kiss on your knuckles this is his favorite place to kiss fight me

After getting over your dream-like shock, you say yes and pull him into a kiss

I’m crying he tells you afterwards that you were his girl since the first time he met you, we’ll let him have this one because did he really know until like a week ago? no

Whew, all of your friends and family let out a relieved sigh when they hear the news LMAO

Suna, hearing about Atsumu finally making it official: thank god I was about to start blackmailing him with those Halloween videos

[selchwife]

random thots

i think despite my ffxiv and dragon age author inserts being essentially similar in a lot of important ways, ffxiv constructs a narrative that in some ways is a lot easier to create a character for compared to inquisition in particular, and i think also a narrative that has more room for like...idk, the plot feels more personal

trespasser was essentially perfect, but thinking of the main game one thing that really irritates me is like....in ffxiv there’s a lot of “the bad guys represent x idea, and you, the player, are rejecting it; you and your friends represent y.” i think this is a good way to frame World-Saving Fantasy Narratives; otherwise i think it gets boring fast. there are underlying themes.

i think inquisition had a lot of sort of tonal confusion and a muddy message, if ANY message, which makes that kind of thing harder to pull off and tie together; the writing felt like it was All Over The Damn Place. particularly because corypheus didn’t have any kind of coherent ideology for the player character to reject or to create narrative tension with. (this is also why i personally don’t think zenos makes a very interesting main villain, he’s just kind of a masturbatory nihilist, and the comparative lack of this kind of narrative tension in stormblood i think makes it kind of weak on its own, although the patches make up for that.)

SOLAS, however, does have that kind of interesting mindset; admittedly i liked the way they did it with emet-selch a lot better because i think it was way more, like, idk. convincing? i could empathize with him more the way they presented it? i’m not sure, but i felt more personally affected by his narrative and endeared to him as a character even though on the shallowest face of it he and solas are almost identical villains. but i think solas is someone your character CAN play off.

i guess i’ve mostly been thinking about it bc while pfeil is like “i may have severe depression and be kind of defeatist, but obviously the world is worth saving, don’t be fucking stupid,” and that’s HIS ideological response to EMET-SELCH, i think my inquisitor is a lot different, because i see thedas as like 9000 times more miserable as a setting than etheirys. so i almost imagine his attitude is more like, “i mean, fuck, i think the world is a miserable hellhole too, and sometimes i DO wish i could blow everything up, but that doesn’t actually make killing everybody okay.”

but aside from that i think like ffxiv lends itself to a more personal uplifting kind of narrative but da:i, at least to me, makes it hard for me to imagine an ending for my particular character that isn’t kind of ridiculously cynical, even though he’s not necessarily any more psychologically fucked than pfeil. they’re both about the same level of depressed and traumatized. idk. maybe it’s just bc without doing a romance inquisition has always felt so devoid of intimacy for the PC, like, if you don’t date someone there’s just this gaping hole in your personal life bc you don’t get THAT close to any of the companions. so it’s kind of. depressing

[just-here-for-the-moment]

My Asks, Answered!

I came to Tumblr as a fan first, before I ever considered writing fanfic. So this is a list, in reverse chronological order, of my Asks that these lovely writers have done for me. ME! All for little ol' me! 😍

(Please note: I started this list after I had already been on Tumblr for 2 months, and I tried to go back and sweep ALL of my notifications. If you answered one of my Asks and I missed listing you here, please DM me immediately so that I can rectify that!!)

@lowlights played Snack Oracle for the handsome P babes and it’s so kind and lovely!! 💖

@deadhumourist was kind enough to humor me via DMs when I literally said “You know what I need? A hot bath with Whiskey… and she said something about steam and mustaches and I DIED, so she proceeded to torture me with a sequence of DMs that ended up being long enough to be a fic, and SO HOT that I made her post it. I’m not sorry.

@1800-fight-me Sometimes when a bestie branches out into a new fixation you gotta see where it leads. I poked the bear and made Jo write me this HOT Matt Murdock drabble, and I’m not sorry!!

@ezrasbirdie Unleashed Dentist!Ezra on us unsuspecting masses recently, and I really shouldn’t have gone begging for scraps in an undignified way, but she delivered. I’m so in love with this that I couldn’t even type properly (“spare third” was my phone autocorrect from “spare thot” LOL)

@quica-quica-quica is one of the very first mutuals who found me here, and I opened a can of worms with this Ask about Agent Whiskey and spanking, and which pretty much killed me. I then poked the bear later with this Ask about Whiskey, Javier Pena, Marcus Pike and blowjobs, and it evolved into the Summer 2021 Smut Peddler Battle Royale, which cemented Quica in my heart forever. Keep your eyes on this space - we might resurrect this battle for Summer 2022!!

@whataperfectwasteoftime somehow takes pity on me over and over again and answers my questions about her TPE!Marcus and ALSO her BTR!Marcus. How lucky am I that Penny keeps putting up with my shenanigans? VERY LUCKY!!

@writeforfandoms held a celebration for reaching 700 followers and offered 7-sentence ficlets for us! I requested a slightly dom!Javi and Jen delivered! I’m a lucky lady!

@oonajaeadira once AGAIN wrecked me with her PATS magic when I wandered into her inbox to ask about how he feels when Reader gets a boyfriend. Adira does complexity, layered characterization, and hot tension like nobody’s business!

@1800-fight-me I asked Jo for some honeymoon soft!Din and she delivered! This was so warm and glowy and soffffffffft and I loved it!!!

@1800-fight-me Sometimes Jo sends me random Pedro GIFs and pics (and when I say ‘sometimes’ I mean daily, and I friggin’ LOVE IT!) and then I make comments like “He looks so soft, I just want to snuggle and cuddle with him” and then she WRITES IT and keeps stoking the fire of how much I love her soft Din fics!! 😍

@littlepadika Wrote me a custom Whiskey drabble for her 1000 followers celebration, and it is the sweetest, sexiest, most caring version of Jack that I could imagine. I’m blown away, and I’ll be reading this again and again to just soak in it!! 💖

@furious-rogue-stuff Dangled the chance of drabbles for a 200 follower celebration, and I jumped at it! And ohhhhh, was it ever soft!! I love Frankie, and I love Rogue-Fury, and I loved this immensely.

@underwood0723 Took my Ask and blew it out of the water! I was obsessed with Part 1 and Part 2, so I poked the bees nest to find out what happened in between. I’m feverish and hyperventilating now, and I ain’t even sorry!

@oonajaeadira Humored my desperation to know more about her Pedro Across the Street massage therapist, but subverted my expectations in the most delicious way! I’m still drooling over Part 1, by the way. And also this delicious Ask for the second installment. Thanks Adria!

@littlepadika Wrote this amazing Professor Whiskey follow up for me!! I had to know what happened after Part 1 when the term finally ended and she delivered like crazy! I'm a big warm ball of gooey-goo-goo eyes over here. Serious yearning for Professor Whiskey now!

@1800-fight-me Jo is one of my besties on here, and was like my 9th follower ever, and I feel just a TINY bit bad that I send her so many Asks, but she writes soft Din so well!!! I just can't help myself. I love you Jo!!

@honestly-shite Took NO PRISONERS when I bounced an Ask about Notes on Tutoring Dave running in those grey sweatpants. This was, uhhh… I’ll be in my bunk. Just give me a minute.

@fandom-blackhole Was taking AU/trope requests, and I asked for Whiskey x Reader x in vino veritas x hair brushing/braiding, and OH MY GOD so sofffft!! And now I'm like a kid with a fairy tale that they don't want to end. "... and then what happened?"

@mandocrasis I sent Birdie a request to find out what happened to her Sessions Din after the Halloween party at the bar, and oh boy!!! She delivered this sweet, soft, heart-swelling response!!!! I loved it!! Thank you! If you haven't read all of her Sessions Din you must go do that immediately.

@1800-fight-me My lovely friend Jo honored my request for angst-with-a-happy ending with Javier and I just can’t even without crying!! So beautiful and just lovely. And if you haven’t read the rest of Javi & Secretary you should totally do that.

@queridopascal Offered to write a 5-sentence ficlet for a headcanon, and made this beautiful little Whiskey scene for me! I love it!!

@1800-fight-me - I love Jo so much, and she writes GREAT Din!! So I asked for a stubborn injured Din where you have to browbeat him into letting you do first aid. Aw, so sweet!!! I loved it so much. Thank you Jo!!! :D

@littlepadika - So there was an Anonymous ask about Professor Marcus Pike, and I was HOOKED and I tossed a request for Part 2 over, and holy moly, she DELIVERED!! I am now ruined for all men except one Art History Professor Pike. I'm going to be ceasing all of my real-life activities except for re-re-re-reading this fic.

@pumpkin-stars - Erika was so kind to open up requests for her 1 year Tumblr anniversary! I requested running from the Empire with Cassian Andor and OMG I'm yearning SO HARD now. It's really unfair that I'm NOT in a little drainpipe right now making out with Cassian... unfair!

@1800-fight-me - Jo constantly puts up with my shenanigans, including when I ask her to make me cry by writing Jack proposing to me. And then she delivers and I can't say enough nice things about it. Mission accomplished!!

@juletheghoul - Jules hit 800 followers and was kind enough to answer my ask about reading Pablo Neruda to Ezra. She picked the perfect poem, set the perfect scene, and made my heart SWELL so much for a character that I've never requested before. Thank you Jules!! I loved it!

@littlepadika - Little Padika was so kind to answer my "what would happen if" Ask about Javier Peña and his little ball of sunshine neighbor who has been staying at his apartment while her flooded one gets fixed. And the YEARNING!!! Oh, and the SLOW BURN!! And the cliffhanger!!! I'm in love with this piece, I'm in love with Javi and Sunshine, and I'm in love with @littlepadika

@mandocrasis - Birdie hit 300 followers and offered an option for a 300-word fic! I requested sweet & flirty Frankie Morales stargazing and camping, and now I’m sobbing at the beautiful imagery of snuggling under the stars with Frankie. Sobbing… with joy!

@softpedropascal - Cassandra!! OMG How did you know I'm mouthy and stubborn? LOL... but seriously I sent an Ask about Din falling in love with me in the confines of his little ship, and Cassandra gave me the gift of this beautiful fic! It's even better than I imagined! There's a whole push-pull thing going on, and just a little bit of angst to make the rest of it sweeter. I loved EVERY word!!

@1800-fight-me - My Jo, my love, my "fight me pantsless behind the Arby's" partner in crime, took my ask for a mean Mando to make fun of me burning myself (yes, based on a *real and actual* burn I suffered while making microwave popcorn a few weeks back, don't look at me like that!) and gave me laughs and sarcasm and holding-my-breath-anticipation and then a BANGER of a payoff! Goddamn, Jo! I said goddamn!

@yespolkadotkitty - If you don’t already follow, know, and love yespolkadotkitty you are missing out!! Please go now and rectify that. Ok now you can read this stunning letter she wrote for me, based on a minor Pedro character, Liam in Nikita. I’m still trying to catch my breath and I’ve read it four times!! Thank you so much for taking asks for your 3.5k followers celebration!!

@writeforfandoms - Holy cow. Jen, seriously, holy cow. I give you one little dialogue prompt, one Jack "Whiskey" Daniels, and one request for some neck kissing, and you give me over 1000 words of excellence? I'm weak, like literally weak in the knees from this. Holy hell. I loved it!! All of it! And I love you!

@librariantothejedi Held a special event where she honored her hilarious and sweet and lively late grandmother, one of the biggest fans of her writing, with a “Grandma Knows Best” ask event. I was honored to have my Whiskey prompt answered, and it KNOCKED MY SOCKS OFF!! Thank you so much for crafting this gorgeous fic for me in memory of your late Grandma. It was perfect!!

@autumnleaves1991-blog WRECKED ME for one of her Thirsty Thursday asks. Like, I have no words. This was insane, in the absolute BEST way. I was not expecting to get wrecked by such talented writing, but I should have known... it's @autumnleaves1991-blog after all!

@silverwolf319 Mon amie, mon trésor, mon coeur... took my Ask for a soft morning-after afterglow scene with Frankie Morales and fucking knocked me DEAD

@apocalypticwafflekitten Was kind enough to answer my Ask about Javier Pena and Frankie Morales taking their significant other on vacation 😍

@fandom-blackhole Indulged my ask based on a prior Anon ask about Pero Tovar falling in love with an innkeeper and I DIED 😭

@mellowswriting Was sweet and created this adorable Frankie Morales coffee shop drabble for me! 😭

@charnelhouse Was a dream and created this HOT short fic when I wrote in to ask about the TF poly boys and pregnant reader 😏

@1800-fight-me Took a chance on a young dreamer named JHFTM and crafted this amazeballs short fic from a 5-word-prompt, set in her Javier Pena x secretary "Notice" universe. Angst with a HOT payoff. So good!!

@anaaaispunk Was one of my FIRST besties on Tumblr and IIRC answered my first ever Ask with this hot, slow-burn, angst-with-medium spice Frankie Morales fic!! Love you, Ana!!