#I have so many thoughts just oh my god my feelings

[artemisiasmuse]

rafe cameron x sweet virgin!reader

she told you she celibate but she told me I can nail her shit

cw: mdni 18+, virgin!reader but has some other experience, lowkey a freak tho, toxic rafe, corruption kink : >, size kink, first times, rafe goes a lil crazy, sweetie pie reader x insane yandere bf rafe is lowkey my favorite trope

a/n: happy valentine’s day my loves <3 i didn’t read this over and i’m so sorry if there’s hella mistakes i will fix it later! this may or not be self-insert yes even that part

the trouble all began with sarah cameron and her big mouth. well really both of you were to blame, but you’d think she would be quieter when her older brother was lurking around. you were older than her by a few years, closer to his age than hers, not that it mattered though, rafe treated you like you were practically wheezie’s age. you didn’t let it sting you any more you had long gotten over trying to be seen as a woman in rafe cameron’s eyes. or maybe you just stopped watching him, he’s always noticed you but you felt out reach, until now. when he overhears his sister’s words he almost breaks the glass of water he’s holding.

“a virgin at 19 looking like you do is insane” sarah looked you up and down as you tried on the dress you’d bought together at the mall. you got shy at her words, you knew she wasn’t judging you but instead genuinely in disbelief that men weren’t throwing themselves at you. you had long mastered the art of looking unapproachable and uninterested after too many bad experiences.

“stoppp is it so hard to believe, you know how bad it’s been for me?” he really hopes no one sees him leaning against the wall next to his sister’s door, he’d look like such a weirdo. wheezie would never let him live this down, she’d barely held back on letting his little crush slip before. if sarah ever found out he’d be in another hell.

“fuck you’re right, if they can’t make you come what’s the point?” rafe winced at his sister’s words, willing away the temptation to gag. he was trying to focus on the fact that no guy had made you come before instead.

“you’re awful, but i’m done with men for a long time. im gonna focus on college and not waste time on them.” he relished in the twisted feeling that no one could touch you, even if the losers before had a chance they clearly couldn’t cut it.

“righttt being in a dorm filled with horny guys is gonna make that easier.” sarah deadpanned and you shoved her, seeing her point. you hadn’t thought about it like that.

“okay leave me alone i’ve been successful so far”

“oh my god speak of the devil, john b’s calling me over, can you cover for me? i’ll be back in like two hours max, promise.” you were a little disappointed she was leaving you but you knew how difficult it was for her to see him without someone covering for her. you nodded and pulled out your phone.

“fine but i’m ordering pizza,” rafe didn’t know if he should be terrified or elated that you two would be home alone for two hours. why did it have to be today that the rest of his family fucked off? was this divine intervention?

“save me a slice!” rafe could hear his sister rustling around, getting ready to go, so he did the same.

“you’re gonna be too busy eating di-“ rafe promptly ran off at that. he’d heard enough, his imagination would run wild with this new information.

it was half an hour later when, like clockwork, rafe made sure to be near the front door for the pizza delivery. he paid and tipped the guy, while you were making your way down at the sound of the doorbell. he hurries back upstairs, nearly running into you on the stairs. your eyes trace his pretty features and then land on the box in his hands, shock and horror cascading your face. rafe can’t believe that you look so good even now, you’re wearing a crop top with seemingly no bra underneath and high waisted sweatpants. to him you look like a model.

“hey! that’s my pizza” rafe laughs and continues up the stairs, you turn on your heel and follow him up. you’re kinda hangry and your pizza being held hostage is not helping your mood.

“i just paid for it so i don’t think so.” you both reach the top of the stairs but rafe isn’t stopping, he’s going to his room instead. this won’t do, he’ll lock the door and slam it in your face, you quickly move to stand in front of him blocking the path to his doorway. rafe thinks it’s cute that you think that would stop him, he feels a bit stir crazy over how small you look gazing up at him

“i’ll pay you back!” your hands shoot up against the doorframe, blocking entry even further. he wants to tease you a bit more but the idea of sharing a pizza in his room is way more tempting.

“nah it’s fine just let me have some.” you release your blockade and let him move past you, still with his-your pizza in his hold, following him mindlessly. if you were less hungry you would’ve realized eating pizza with your longtime crush and best friend’s brother in his room sitting on his bed was in fact not a great idea. but that fleeting concern is out the window when he opens the box and you climb onto his bed like it’s second nature. rafe does his best to stay concentrated on the present, it’s difficult when your shirt rides up and a sliver of your stomach is displayed, it looks so soft and untouched and he really isn’t hungry for pizza, he never was.

“i was gonna offer anyways for the record.” you say it while picking up a slice and rafe mirrors your action, laughing at your tone.

“yeah sure you were princess,” you ignore the way his voice sounds, the way he says your name, the way his room smells like him and it’s making your head spin.

rafe watches you eat transfixed when you lick the tips of your fingers, he can’t believe that he’s struggling to control himself over pizza but your words are ringing in his head.

“rafe do you have any napkins?” you hold up your greasy fingers and he nods his head dazedly, getting up to grab some for you and taking the pizza box off his bed with him. you move to get off then, looking around his room, you knew he wouldn’t appreciate if you snooped through his things so you just look at the pictures on the wall, the books he has. rafe finds you standing near his desk when he comes back, wordlessly handing you the napkins.

“i always forget you have a motorcycle.” your head motions towards the helmet resting on the surface of his desk.

“i don’t use it as much now.” he leaned back against the footboard of his bed, arms crossed against his chest as he watched you look at his stuff. he couldn’t figure out why you were still in his room, were you that curious?

“can i ride it? i’ve always wanted to try.” yeah rafe might just pass out now. you don’t even know what you’re doing to him, head cocked to the side looking at him so innocently he can barely hold back much longer.

“sure but i gotta teach you the basics so you don’t crash.” rafe is proud of himself for even stringing a sentence together in response. you notice a slight flush to his cheeks and ears.

“okay that’s fair.” you turn towards him, mirroring his form and leaning back against his desk. there’s a few feet between you but rafe thinks it would be so easy to lift you onto the mahogany and kiss you until you can’t breathe. his shorts feel so restrictive and he’s grateful he’s wearing black. he can’t hold back any longer, he has to know.

"is it true?" the words come out rushed, unsure of if they should even be said in the first place. but rafe’s not a quitter and he doesn’t shy away from anything really, even if the past few hours feel like a dream he would have in middle school.

"is what true?" your head does that thing again like a puppy and he nearly keels over, you’re too adorable for your own good. his gaze flits away for a second, he has to commit. your trusting expression and your airy tone make it all the more hard.

"no guy's made you come before?" you blink in shock twice before covering your face with your hands. this must be the most embarrassing moment of your life.

"ugh you heard that?"

"yeah you guys aren't exactly quiet" you might have to kill sarah cameron in her sleep, if she even comes back that is. you don’t know why you answer him, you could have just ran away but the magnetic pull of rafe cameron coaxes you to answer.

"yeah it's true" you sound defeated and rafe has to hold back a snicker, he watches you peer through your fingers at him, watching his expression.

"well i can rectify that..you know for the sake of mankind and all" there’s a smirk on his lips as he says the words that will haunt you forever. you’re sure he’s just messing with you and you huff a breath of disbelief. did he know about your little crush? you’d been hiding it so well for the past few years!

"don't tease me, rafe" you step away from his desk, moving to leave his room. even if it was just the two of you in the house you’d much rather sit in sarah’s room or watch the tv than be ridiculed.

"i'm not, it'd be a shame if a pretty girl like you gave up on men, especially for me." it’s almost as if someone dumped a bucket of cold water on your head when rafe cameron speaks. pretty girl the first time he’s called you anything that might suggest you’re not just his sister’s friend. the world spins on its axis and you try to grasp onto his words, try to understand that he might be genuine but you can’t. there’s still that voice of doubt telling you he’s just messing with you. rafe watches your expression go from shock to disappointment, you don’t believe him. he supposes it’s not that believable when he’s been purposefully avoiding you for a while. you must think he’s just messing with you, but he’s dead serious. he’ll just have to prove it.

“whatever rafe i don’t have time for your games.” you mumble it and leave his room, slamming the door a bit harder than you intended. the next few hours are torture. rafe cameron planted an insidious weed in your mind and it’s growing exponentially.

of course it’s not the first time you’ve imagined it, you’d often thought about what his long thick fingers would feel like. or how his biceps would feel under your hands if you held onto them for support. you’d fantasized about every part of him, even the tip of his nose. so the idea that it might just be within your reach had you spiraling. you took a cold shower, not that it helped, your underwear was still soaked after. no guy you’d been with had made you so wet, let alone before even touching you. it was as if the universe was testing you. a sick thrum in your body had found its way into your bones, vibrating with need and you paced in your best friend’s room thinking over all the consequences.

when you’d reached the conclusion that even if he was sincere it was still a bad idea, your phone pinged. a text from sarah that read: “i’m gonna be staying the night here, if you’re already asleep i’ll see you in the morning 🤍” with all your internal turmoil you hadn’t realized it was past the two hours she’d said. she would be out all night. you and rafe were home alone, all night. you swallowed down the lump in your throat, your heart pounding your chest. your feet were moving faster than your head, the pitter patter of your footsteps almost as fast as your heartbeat, and before you knew it you were in front of his door. you hesitated for a second breathing in deep once before knocking, the light was still on so you knew he was awake.

“yeah?” rafe did his best to hide the satisfaction he felt seeing you twitchy and shy in front of his door. you swallowed down again, looking up at him with as much confidence as you could. there was a few seconds of silence, he gave you the time you needed, looking down at you with bright inviting eyes.

“is your offer still on the table?” his face split into a grin, moving aside to let you in like you’d done before and with no hesitation you pushed past him. even the small graze of your shoulder against him set his skin ablaze. he was going to lose his mind.

“‘doesn’t really have an expiration date.” your mind was blanking at his every advance, you tried not to think about his words, you couldn’t afford to fall deeper for him.

“just don’t like tell anyone about this?” you murmured, watching him close the door behind you two and getting a bit nervous. if sarah found out you’d be in for hell. losing your virginity to your best friend’s brother wasn’t exactly a great conversation to have.

“i’m not topper don’t worry.” you believed him, rafe despite his other faults, was always respectful.

“can i kiss you?” you nodded fervently, rafe held back a laugh at your enthusiasm. he walked up to you slowly as if giving you the chance to run and slid his hands from his hips to the curve of your waist. you stood on your tiptoes, your arms going around his neck and rafe couldn’t believe this was real. maybe if he pretended it was a dream he wouldn’t be so nervous. he’d have to do just that. one of his hands cupped your face, thumb stroking along your cheekbone and your eyelashes fluttered closed at the touch. he pressed a tentative kiss to your lips.

his lips felt soft and you breathed out in relief after, as if some sort of spell was lifted. rafe kissed you again, this time letting himself breathe you in. you felt so small and delicate in his hold, he wanted to take his time with you. you had other ideas. kissing rafe cameron felt even better than you’d imagined, when he pulled back you surged forward this time, biting his lower lip making him groan into your mouth. another chill of desire wracked your body at the sound and you tested the waters by licking the seem of his lips. rafe pulled you even closer and bent down to kiss you deeper. his mouth opened and his tongue met yours. you tasted so good to him he couldn’t stop himself from sucking on your tongue slightly, making you whine in his hold. the sound flipped a switch in his mind, he wanted more of the sound, he needed to hear you say his name in that airy desperate sound again. a string of saliva connected your lips and snapped off in the middle, your breathing was heavy and his was too. you caught your breath all the while looking up at him, he held your gaze. the furrow of your brows grew deeper the longer you looked.

“we don’t have to do anything else.” him asking for consent again drew in another crushing wave of arousal, you were a lost cause. okay maybe your standards were in hell. even his cologne was better than any other guy, something woodsy and heavy, mature, not like the shitty ones you’d had to smell before.

“no-no i want to,” he’d have to ask you later why you looked so mad after kissing him, right now he had too much else to do. you could only watch as he lifted you by the grip on your waist, your legs going around his hips in fear of falling. he’d done it so casually you couldn’t process it in time. rafe set you down gently on his mattress, his weight pressed into you and your legs tightened around him. he kissed you again, already missing the taste of your lips, and leaned back. you realized what he was about to do as he sat back on his knees.

“no i-can you just come up here?” you felt far too shy for him to eat you out and although rafe respected your wishes he was a bit disappointed. he’d just have to make sure there was a next time. there were other ways to taste you anyways. he followed your lead, leaning back over you and kissing you again, tongue and teeth clashing together in need. one of his hands moved from your waist up and under the hem of your shirt, traveling up slowly until he reached the fat of your breast. the feeling of his fingers on your nipple jolted your body. usually you didn’t get anything out of a guy touching your boobs but him you were arching into his touch, huffing into his mouth. rafe loved how sensitive you were, reacting to every touch of his. he massaged the tit in his hand, reveling in how you squirmed underneath him. if you kept moving you’d feel how painfully hard he was in his shorts.

after giving up on kissing you he peeled off your crop top, trailing kisses down your neck. he bit at the skin and sucked, surely littering your neck with hickies. you smelled so sweet to him and he couldn’t get enough, biting hard in the juncture between your neck and shoulder. you squeaked at the feeling, shocked at how pleasure blurred the lines of the pain you should be feeling. being marked by rafe was transcendental.

“look at you, so fucking pretty.” you met his gaze, his eyes raking down your chest and back to your face. the compliment made your head even cloudier, you’d let him do anything he wanted already, and it didn’t even scare you. his mouth trailed lower, biting at the tops of your breasts before latching onto your nipple and sucking, biting and laving over the sensitive nub with his tongue. you writhed under him, desperate for some friction between your legs. you huffed out a breath in frustration. he took his time bruising your chest with his marks. everyone should know who you belonged to. he leaned back to admire his work, his eyes finally meeting yours and seeing your waterline filled with unshed tears. god he was being so cruel, you just wanted to come and here he was doing as he pleased.

“rafe can i have your fingers please?” he was about to take pity on you anyway but the desperate sound of you begging was too delicious to give up. he looped his fingers through yours, hands intertwined against the silk sheets next to your shoulder.

“fuuckkk when you ask like that how can i say no?” his eyes nearly rolled back in his head from your voice, he might just come from it alone. “how d’ya want them?” he knew, of course he knew, he just wanted to hear you say it. your lips were swollen from his kisses and you still managed to look so innocent under him, he wanted to mark every inch of your body so no one could touch you again.

“you know!” you huffed out, a pout on your lips that he kissed away, you still looked at him with frustration. your underwear was practically sticking to you now, you felt so warm and uncomfortable between your legs, desperate for friction. you’d never felt like this before, completely wrecked with need, unable to think about anything besides addressing your desire.

“spell it out for me, i can’t think clearly right now.” he kissed under your ear coaxing you into submission, a purr curled through you at the feeling. his lips were featherlight against you, soft and adoring and you couldn’t remember why you were holding back.

“‘wan you to fuck me with them.” it was a small mumble, slipping past your lips but rafe caught it nevertheless. his free hand hooked into your pants and pulled them down, you kicked them off and let him settle back between your legs. at least being out of your pants gave your legs some reprieve but the cool air only illuminated how drenched your underwear was. rafe’s large hand skimmed past your breasts to your stomach and rested against your waistband. he looked to you for admission and you nodded your head. instead of dipping underneath the band he trailed downwards, over the flimsy material. the ghost of his touch near your clit had you jerking under him, your hands flying to his shoulders. two large fingers pressed against the fabric, right above your opening, his fingers felt moist and he clicked his tongue at the feeling.

“baby you soaked through your panties, whose got you so worked up?” you whined, a pretty throaty sound that you’d been holding in and he vowed to pull more from you. his fingers were skimming along your opening, teasing the fabric and not quite touching you. your legs wanted to close on his hand but your hips moved closer, trying to make him touch you.

“you!” you screamed out, eyes squeezed shut as he removed his hand completely. you’d start leaking through them if he didn’t do something soon.

“that’s right me, not those fucking losers, just me.” his free hand, closed around your chin making you open your eyes and meet his. he looked crazed, pupils blown and overshadowing the blue with hooded eyes and a satisfied grin curling his lips. when you met his gaze he finally dipped his fingers beneath the band and pressed his thumb against your clit. he found it with such ease your eyes rolled back into your skull, gasping at the feeling of finally being touched. “i got you baby,” your legs spread wider for him, pulling him into you as his fingers slid through your drooling folds all the while his thumb ground against you. his fingers were so much larger than yours you could feel him everywhere. he prodded your hole with his index finger, grunting at how tight you were. streams of arousal kept pouring out of you, you needed him to do something. you squirmed under him again and rafe acquiesced, shoving his finger in. you were so tight and warm around him, slippery and soft walls hugged him as he stretched you out with one finger alone. “f-fucking tight,” he was gonna start soiling his shorts from the way you felt around his finger alone. he fucked you slow and deep, feeling along your insides for your sensitivity. he knew as soon as he found it because you screamed his name, hands clutching his arms tightly.

“feels weird,” he let you get used to the feeling, his thumb grinding against your clit. you were already feeling close and he’d barely started.

“poor pussy probably never felt this good huh?” you whimpered at his words, he was being so filthy and usually it turned you off. nothing about rafe could do that at this point. you shook your head, affirming his suspicions and his middle finger circled your opening. he was gentler this time, moving his fingers in inch by inch until you stopped clamping down. the pressure of him stretching you wasn’t unbearable but you didn’t know how you’d ever take more than his fingers at this rate. he accurately hammered against that spot, out for blood, while his thumb circled your clit. you were dripping onto his hand, coating him with your juices and the squelch of his fingers fucking into you filled the room. the sounds were so obscene you tried blocking them out with your pathetic little whines but rafe was determined to hear your soppy cunt crying for him. it wasn’t long before you felt the encroaching of your release and he knew it he could feel it in the way you clenched around him and whined when his fingers pulled out completely. one more carress of the sensitive gummy spot inside you had you seeing white. your vision blurred as you shook in your release, holding his wrist so he’d stop his motions, shivers wracked your body as you came the hardest you ever had. your walls fluttered around him, more of your release dripping down your cunt and soaking the sheets below. he was sick enough to leave them like that for the night, you smelled so sweet and he bet you tasted even better.

his fingers dipped out of your underwear and your eyes opened to watch him, probably a mistake on your part because just the vision of rafe cameron licking his fingers clean and groaning at the taste made you ready to go again. his eyes rolled back in his head at the taste, his eyes ground shut at the sugary flavor coating his tongue and teeth. he really hoped you’d let him have more later because now that he’d had a taste he wanted the full meal. you shivered at the way he reacted, your whole body on high alert from your orgasm, but even as sensitive as you were you couldn’t help but be greedy.

“rafe, can we go further?” his heart might just give out, you look nervous even now after he’s already addicted. he moves back slightly, pulling his shirt over his head and your eyes are drawn to his chest.

“never thought you’d ask.” you’re not even trying to hide how you ogle him, seeing him at the beach is one thing but in front of you, when you can touch him is another. rafe watches you reach a hand out, slightly out of range and moves closer to you, letting you touch him. your smalls hands traverse the expanse of his shoulders, his pecs, and trace the outline of his abs. when they reach the tuft of hair above his waistband, rafe has to stop you. the tiny fleeting touches make him twitch in his pants. he moves your hand to rest against his shoulder, pulling your underwear all the way off and looking down at how he completely drowns your body out.

“fuckkk can’t believe im the lucky one who gets to break this little pussy in,” he kisses along your neck, hands squeezing your waist and marveling at how diminutive you feel. he can’t wait to be inside you, he wonders if you’ll even be able to take him.

“s-so dirty” his words are heating up your entire body and you’d feel embarrassed if you weren’t arching into him. rafe moves to pull down his shorts, waiting a beat before he does.

“you sure you want this?” while taking your virginity was something he could only dream about before he needed to be sure.

“yes i want it to be you, i trust you.” you say it as normally as you can.

“we can stop whenever you want, like i said ‘offer’s not gonna expire.” you hope you can take it up even after this, maybe not even once or twice. if he could make you feel like this why would you need anyone else? then he pulls his shorts off and you start to regret your decision.

“oh-is th-that gonna fit?” his cock sprung out and slapped against his stomach, long and thick and way too big for you. you could barely take his fingers this would never fit. it looked so angry white precum dribbling down stark against the flushed pink curling along the veins and curving with him to the right. you wouldn’t survive this.

“you’ll do your best right?” you nod enthusiastically, you wanted to take as much as you could. “good girl.” oh, you’d have to explore that later. you nearly moaned at him calling you that. rafe caught it though, he knew your reactions well by now. he lined it up over your stomach, seeing how far it would go and your eyes nearly bulged out of your head. your belly button was completely covered, not that it mattered he was halfway up your torso. rafe’s grip on your waist tightened, he’d ruin you for anyone else, stretch you out and mold you just for him. no one would feel as good as him and he nearly drooled at the sight.

despite how feral he felt, he made sure you were still wet enough for him to slip in, you were. his tip pressed against you, he let you drool onto him, juices swirling with his and making a sick plap plap plap sound as he tapped against you. he’s far wider than his fingers and you tried to relax. you motioned for him to come closer, his lips out of reach and you kissed him sweetly. when he could feel you relax he pushed in, instantly being shoved out. so tight he couldn’t even get the tip in. “fuuckkkk gonna have to marry you.” you don’t even process his words and he doesn’t really know he’s saying them out loud either. he tries again, pulling you slightly onto his length and you gasp at the stretch. you’re gripping him like a vice and it’s nearly uncomfortable but being inside you breaks something inside of him and he’s drooling into your mouth. you don’t even care you want more. “doin well angel-hah-taking me so well.”

the pain is an afterthought now, you want him to stretch you and fill you until you can’t breathe. you don’t know if you’ve wanted anything more in your life. so you do the unthinkable, you try moving down his length. rafe can’t be held responsible for his actions after that.

he gives into your silent plea, skewering you on his cock and pushing past your gooey rings of resistance until he’s halfway in. you held your breath the entire time as he curved into you, tip smearing precum along your walls as he molded you to him, his veins catching on your entrance and making you jolt at the feeling. you push at his chest, the pain making you scream his name as he lets you adjust. there’s tears trailing down your cheek that he licks away. he kisses you until the ache between your legs becomes distant, it’s salty and sloppy but it distracts you enough. rafe makes the mistake of looking down, sees the way you’re gaping for him and how it looks like he’s splitting you in half and he bottoms out. the snap of his hips against yours makes you moan, he’s filled you up now and you can feel him in your throat. you swear you feel him get bigger when you whine his name pathetically, his dick twitching inside you.

it’s too much and you try running from it, shoving up the length of the bed but rafe just pulls you back down. “t-too big hng can’t-“

“come on i thought you were-fuck-a big girl,” he groans into your ear, you shove against him once more and he slips out a few inches, just enough for you to relax. you can still feel him nestled against your cervix, he’s leaking into you and your thighs are coated in both of your arousal. you tap his shoulder for him to move again, pulling out until his tip is the only thing inside and then spearing all the way back in. the feeling makes you cross-eyed, his throbbing tip bumps along your sensitive spot until it nestles against you, as far high up as it can and you think you might be coming on every thrust because you’re so obscenely wet more slick just pours out of you every time. rafe knows it’s because there’s no space for anything but his cock and he can’t help but grin, watching your pussy engulf his length despite how small you are under him. every thrust sends your whole body upwards but his grip on you keeps you close, he’s almost fucking you back onto him.

“feels good hah,” you finally murmur into his neck, wrapping your legs around his hips so he can drill into you better. his thrusts are deep and slow, letting you get used to the feeling but you don’t think you like it like this. if he’s going to ruin you he might as well do it properly. “h-harder.” rafe moans your name at your request, his voice sounds so wrecked you clench down at the sound alone.

“turned this pussy into a slut, ‘couldn’t even take-hah-two fingers now look at you.” really he’s proud of you, proud that he made you like this. although he wants to tease you he can’t hold back much longer either and it’s your first time so he’s gonna be nice to you. rafe pulls out and slams back into you setting a faster rougher pace, your skin is slapping against each other and you think he might bruise your hips. your head is shoved up the length of his bed until it threatens to bump against the headboard, he puts his hand between you and the wood, his other hand holding onto the frame for support. your legs are being bent and pressed to the sides and the new angle makes him hit that spot with blaring accuracy. a sick ring of white forms at the base of his dick and his balls are slippery from your arousal. you still have a vice grip around him, something he won’t get used to but is definitely get addicted to. the room smells filthy and the sounds of you chanting his name combined with the squelch of your cunt is pornographic.

“gonna be a good girl and come around my cock?” your walls flutter at his words, like his permission has you ready to come. you come undone with one more thrust, your cunt is milking him as if coaxing him to come. “fuck fuck fuckkkk.” he pulls out just in time to come onto your stomach, shooting thick gooey ropes onto your soft skin. the white contrasts the blue and purple that is starting to bloom around your neck and tits.

you blearily watch it happen, disappointed he didn’t come inside, but warm and fuzzy from your release. there’s one thought nagging you though as you rest comfortably on his sticky soaked sheets. “it wasn’t a one time offer right?”

“no fucking way, i’m never letting you go.” rafe looks at you like you’re crazy, he’s ready to propose. there’s no way in hell he’s making this a one night stand. after all he’s broken you in, now it’s the fun part.

taglist: @ggraycelynn

[hangesophtalmologist]

the weight of your world on my shoulders

lando norris

pairing: lando norris x driver!reader

tropes: rivals to lovers?, forbidden romance

genre: fluff, angst

synopsis: waking up in the same hotel room as your infuriating rival would have been so much less trouble if he didn’t make you feel that way… or if your team principal wasn’t on the hunt for you. And most importantly, if you weren’t both F1 drivers.

warnings: suggestive content, angst

The sharp rays of morning sunlight streamed through the gap in the hotel curtains, illuminating the chaos in the room. You groaned as you turned over, your face half-buried in a pillow, and blinked groggily at the unfamiliar surroundings. Beside you, messy curls were spilled over the pillow as a body stirred, bushy brows furrowing as the man took in the scattered remnants of last night’s celebration.

Your eyes widened as realization dawned. “Oh, no.”

Lando sat up abruptly, the sheet slipping off his torso to reveal his bare chest. “What the hell?” he mumbled, running a hand through his messy hair. His gaze fell on you, half-dressed in last night’s pants and a bra and his heart stuttered.

The look of horror on your face would have made him laugh if it wasn't for his own confusion. You yanked the sheet over your lap, shifting away from him as you tried your best to look everywhere but his naked torso.

“Yeah, what the actual hell," you repeated, sending him an accusing look. "Did we...?” you started with a frown, trailing off awkwardly.

“I…” Lando’s mouth opened and closed as his brain struggled to piece together the events of the previous night. “I don’t know. Did we?”

Your eyes narrowed, and a flash of memory hit you like a freight train. You had argued about whose room it was—fighting as always, stubbornly shouting at each other.

But the only thing you could remember after that was Lando’s clumsy attempt to unclasp your bra, his hands fumbling and his drunken frustration palpable. The blurry memory made your stomach flip, heat rushing to your cheeks in an embarrassing display of fluster. “You!” you gasped, crossing your arms defensively across your chest.

Lando’s eyebrows shot up, his gaze feeling all too heavy on your bare skin. “Me what?”

“I'm going to the bathroom,” you snapped, scrambling out of bed and heading straight for the bathroom, your steps hurried but unsteady.

Once inside, the door slammed shut and you pressed your back against it, heart pounding. This could not be happening. Everyone from your team principal to the fans would kill you both if they knew—but you'd have killed yourself first from shame. Lando? Seriously? Your insufferable rival and the cockiest, most arrogant man to ever live? You had spent way too many years throwing insults at his face to be found in his—or your—whose room was it in the end?—bed half-naked. Shame on you, you thought, I hope you haven't been this stupid.

"This is why you never drink," you pointed an accusing finger at your reflection in the mirror.

Intending to wash the hypocrisy off your skin with a cold shower, you reached behind to unhook the offending piece of lingerie, only to discover that it was still impossibly stuck. No amount of twisting or pulling seemed to work. So the failure of your attempts - having led the active participation of your coworker -  wasn't due to the alcohol. It was indeed not budging.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you muttered, praying to any god in any religion to hear your plea and either unclasp this cursed bra or strike you down with lightning.

Outside, Lando softly knocked on the door. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!”. Lies.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing,” he commented, his voice laced with amusement.

You opened the door a crack, still clutching the clasp behind your back. “Just a logistical issue. None of your concern.”

You'd rather shower fully clothed than let this- this dangerous man approach you once more.

His smirk grew, green eyes sparkling with mischief. Damn he really was attractive.

“Need help?”

Your glare was enough to kill, but the growing heat in your cheeks betrayed you. “Oh, you've done enough, Norris.”

He chuckled, gripping the side of the door and gently pushing it open, ignoring your protests.

"Come on, I already tried last night. What's the harm?" he smirked as he stepped into the bathroom, invading your senses with his scent, his warmth, his voice, and the otherworldly vision of his sculpted naked chest.

"So you do remember, you dipshit," you muttered to conceal your fluster. Still, you gave in, timidly offering your back to him. "I'm warning you, no funny business."

Lando’s lips twitched as he stepped closer, the air thick with a mix of amusement and something far more dangerous. You could tell he was holding his breath—when he finally exhaled, the coldness brushed against your back and sent a jolt through you. You cursed inwardly at the effect he had on you.

“Hold still,” he murmured, his voice lower than usual. Then his knuckles grazed your skin, and it was like your entire body was burning in flames.

The room seemed to shrink around you, the atmosphere heavy with unspoken tension. You could feel his nervousness through the fidgeting around the clasp, through how silent he was—no jokes, no teasing, no comment on the shivers that kept running on your skin with each of his movements. Just the deafening batter of your hearts.

The proximity was unbearable; the air between you seemed to sizzle.

His fingers stole the breath that was caught in your throat as they grazed your back with more force. You didn't know if Lando was purposefully taking his time or if he was genuinely struggling, but all you could think about was his hands on your skin, his breath on your shoulder, and how careful he was, trying not to touch you too much and how close you were to losing your m-

“There,” he said softly, the clasp finally giving way.

You inhaled sharply, snapping out of your thoughts. Quickly, your arms jumped over your chest, clutching your bra, and you turned to face him. Shit. Your body was overheating and you feared you just made it worse. You couldn't escape his burning gaze. Lando was looking down at you with such intensity you felt like you were being set on fire. Again.

His eyes lingered on you for a long moment before he cleared his throat. “I don’t think we slept together,” he murmured, finally breaking the silence.

Relief eased the tension in your shoulders, and you finally found your voice. “Do you remember everything?”

“No, I don't remember much, but,” he clicked his tongue, a slow, cocky grin spreading across his face, “there’s just no way I’d leave your neck without any mark.”

Jaw. Dropped.

Your lips moved to respond, to curse his arrogance but no sound came out. Shit. It was hard to think when flashes of forbidden scenes kept inundating your imagination, and your heart threatened to burst out of your chest.

Lando, cautiously and almost predatorily scrutinizing each inch of your face, must have read your thoughts—something in his eyes snapped. Almost shyly—as if bracing for a rejection—he leaned in, his lips brushing your neck and sending you both into oblivion. Slowly, he kissed the skin there, searching for a sensitive spot. When you let out a small sound of pleasure, his hands tensed on your waist.

For a second.

Then hell broke down and it was like you had unleashed its wildest flames as his hands, once well-behaved, were now insatiable and eager to burn every parcel of your skin and hold you closer than ever. You gasped, heat flooding your body, your resolve crumbling under his touch. Your fingers dived into his rebellious curls, pulling him away and closer at the same time, earning a soft groan that reverberated against your neck.

When you heard him curse, you realized you could feel him everywhere—his warmth engulfing you in your mutual insatiable desire.

Then came the knock at the door.

As if a spell was broken, you jumped in surprise and pushed Lando away, your heart racing. “Shit,” you hissed, still panting while exchanging a panicked look with him. "What do we do?"

"Go open the door," Lando whispered back, his eyes wide with insistence.

"Are you mad? I’m freaking half-naked!"

"Me too," he protested. "And I’m not exactly presentable," he added through gritted teeth.

"You’re a man, you won’t shock anyone with your tits," you whispered-yelled, missing the point he was trying to make and pushing him out of the bathroom. "It’s your fault anyway!" you muttered as you locked yourself in.

Lando sighed despite the smile that fought his way to his lips. He scrambled to answer the door, throwing on a discarded shirt and running a hand through his hair.

Toto Wolff stood there, his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

Fuck. This was not his room.

“Norris,” Toto said in a measured tone, a lot less friendly than usual. “Why are you in Y/N’s room?”

Lando blinked, his brain scrambling for an answer. “Uh… it’s— I'm... we- we swapped rooms by mistake. You know how these things go. Lots of champagne last night.”

Toto’s gaze was skeptical, his eyes flicking to the room’s disheveled state. “What’s your room number?”

“I… don’t remember,” Lando lied, stalling.

From the bathroom, the sound of the water turning on made Toto’s eyebrow arch higher. Lando cursed internally—you just had to take a shower right now and make things worse.

"I suppose I would be wrong to assume Y/N is currently showering?" the German man asked sternly, and the question seemed more like a threat than an inquiry.

They’d definitely be both in tremendous trouble if any of their team found out about this night—even if technically, nothing had happened. Until three minutes ago.

"Ha, what? Her?" Lando faked a laugh, a tad bit too high-pitched to be authentic. "I told you, she slept in my room on another floor. This is uh- um? My- well, my girlfriend."

The dubious expression of Mercedes' team principal cracked into a perplexed one, a frown carving a wrinkle between his eyebrows.

"Weren't you single?"

"Not anymore," Lando insisted, a fake smile tearing his face in two. "So, I'd appreciate it if you could..."

“Oh yes, of course,” Toto nodded slowly. “Well, I'll ask the reception for your room number. Don't do these... swaps again, it's inconvenient.” He turned and left, but not before casting one last suspicious glance over his shoulder.

The second he was out of sight, Lando shut the door and bolted for the bathroom, knocking urgently. “Y/n! Toto’s onto us.”

You emerged hastily, your hair damp, a toothbrush in your hand and a bathrobe clutched around you. Water dripped onto the carpet as you stared at him, wide-eyed. “What did he say?”

“He-" Lando's voice dropped as he took in your appearance, and he had to swallow thickly to continue. "He wants to talk to you."

“Great,” you muttered. “I can’t stay here.”

All sense of urgency seemed to have evaporated from Lando's mind as he tried his best not to follow the path of the raindrops running down your wet skin. “We need to get you to my room before Toto figures this out,” he finally got out, mumbling incoherently as he grabbed your arm. “Come on.”

You rushed out, still scarcely dressed, barely managing to slip on some sliders before you parted ways—you to the elevator, him to the stairs, staying behind to stall Toto in case he was already coming your way. As both of you reached his room simultaneously, you darted inside, locking the door behind him.

You plopped yourself on the bed, putting a hand over your pounding heart as you layed down. I can't believe I raced in a hotel in a bathrobe because of that idiot, you thought. But your mind wasn't focused on that. It couldn't stop replaying the moment his lips touched your neck - and you could feel your treacherous, treacherous body yearning for more.

This wasn't like you - you shouldn't feel comfortable being so exposed near your co-worker, shouldn't feel butterflies at the proximity with your rival, should feel regret about waking up by his side. But you didn't.

Your thoughts drifted again - maybe you're at ease because you want this intimacy. Slapping your hands across your forehead to slap those ideas away, you pouted, too confused with the external and internal chaos to think clearly.

“This is your fault,” you muttered, more meaning to your words than what he could understand. "I toldyou it was my room."

It was more meant to yourself than to him, but he chuckled nonetheless. “You’re the one who complained your bra wasn't comfortable to sleep in,” the driver teased, sitting beside you. "I just helped."

“Lando…” Your tone was a warning.

He laughed again, and your stomach tied itself into knots. You closed your eyes, trying vainly to distance yourself from him even if it was just for a second. But his arm brushed yours as he lay down next to you and it undid all your careful efforts to curb your racing heart.

Both of you knew Lando should go before Toto arrived - but you couldn't bring yourselves to voice it out loud. Maybe it was because you knew this was a forbidden situation that you couldn't bring it to an end, knowing it could never happen again. Your neck still burned from the touch of his lips.

It was so much easier to ignore the tension - masked by meaningless banter and insults - between you two when you could still deny how attracted you were to him. Clearly, you'd overestimated the power of your reason over your feelings. A romance between two drivers? Not. Possible. You knew it. But your heart wasn't racing for a pilot - it was racing for the boy you'd raced against for years. You'd known for years. And that you happened to race against still.

"Y/n," Lando said your name - but it was different from usual. It was like he was unsure of it - like he was tasting it for the first time.

Heart pounding, you opened your eyes, turning your head towards where his rested on the mattress. Your heart stuttered over the proximity and that flick of something that haunted his gaze when he looked at you. His eyes flickered to your lips, less than a second but you caught it and butterflies swarmed your stomach.

"I-"

The knock on the door cut his sentence short.

Toto again.

Your bubble exploded and you jumped on your feet, not noticing the curses leaving your rival's mouth.

"Just a minute!" you shouted across the door.

Lando reluctantly stood up, in stark contrast to your agitation - and even had the nerve to look confused when you made big, urgent signs at him.

"Clothes, you bonehead," you hissed quietly, watching as he jogged across the room. "No, not McLaren gear, are you crazy?"

"I don't have anything else!" Lando whispered back, rummaging through his luggage. "Ah, there."

He threw a jogging and a hoodie your way, holding a laugh when it slapped you across the face. Not resisting the urge to wipe his smile, you swiftly grabbed the slider of your right foot and yeeted it at his head, only missing because he darted into the bathroom to hide himself and stifle his laugh. You scoffed at his antics, quickly dressing and composing yourself to answer the door.

Toto’s imposing frame filled the doorway, his expression unreadable.

“Good morning,” he said, his voice clipped. “I had trouble finding you.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” you leaned casually against the doorframe, displaying an annoyed expression. "This little- Norris insisted my room was his, so I had to swap if I wanted to get a few hours of sleep."

Toto’s sharp eyes scanned the room behind you. “Is that so?”

“Yep!” you said quickly, your voice a little too chipper.

The man stepped forward, and you had no choice but to let him in. You watched as his gaze fell on the bed, noticing that it was already made - not knowing it was because no one had slept in it.

“I came to talk to you about a team meeting," the team principal finally admitted, visibly relaxing. "But first, this situation with Lando reminded me of something I wanted to tell you. I know we don't often talk about your love life and whatsoever, because I respect that you're a private person."

Oh God, end me right now.

"Toto, we don't need to talk about this now," you chuckled nervously, all too aware of Lando's presence right next to them.

"Please, Y/n. My wife has been nagging me about that dating clause in your contract. I want to make sure that you know I have no intentions of disrespecting you or underestim-"

"Toto, Toto." You gently cut short the conversation, harshly bringing yourself back to reality. As if a fog surrounding your mind evaporated, the consequences of your actions dawned onto you.

"I signed the dating ban because it doesn't change anything for me, and it reassures you. I will never-" you paused. The words had been carved in your brain for years, reminding you exactly what you were fighting for and what were your priorities. Yet they had never tasted so sour on your tongue. "-ever date someone in the business. I'm not granted the indulgence that men have. I have the burden to be irreproachable because I refuse to give weapons or basis for speculation on my merit to the people who want to keep women out of F1."

There was anger in your eyes. You were angry at the world for being that way, at Toto for forcing you to voice out loud the weight he knew you had to carry, at Lando for making your determination waver. At yourself for wavering.

Your tone was accusatory when you spoke again. "You should know this better than anyone. I have to be perfect, Toto. On every aspect."

Though if this morning proved one thing, it was that it proved to be harder than you had anticipated.

Toto sighed, crossing his arms against his chest in a disapproving manner. "You know, it is Suzie that told me to talk about this with you. Yes, I know what they have said about her and I can imagine very well what they could say about you. But this is not a realistic way to live your life. I didn't ban you from dating the rest of humanity."

Ouch. Didn't need him to remind me I've been single for a painfully long time.

"I know. I won't lie to you and say I didn't feel insulted by the clause, but I understand. For all it's worth, I appreciate that you made Lewis sign it too."

"Of course," the team principal offered you a gentle smile. "Well, with all that being said, I did get worried when Lando opened your door this morning. I don't know where she gets that, but Suzie says there is something between you two. I almost thought she was right."

You froze, an all-too-tense smile forcing its way on your face. "No way, we've just known each other a long time. I can't stand that dumb face of his. I barely get through the weekends, let alone-"

The sound of your phone ringing from the pocket of the discarded bathrobe interrupted you, and Toto bent down to pick it up. His shoulders tensed immediately upon seeing the caller ID, lips pressing into a thin line, and you widened your eyes when he held it out to you. Lando. Why did that fool have to call you right now-

"Must be about returning his stuff," you stammered, your mind racing. "Excuse me for a sec'."

Slipping inside the bathroom where the curly haired driver hid, you whispered furiously, asking what he was doing - calling you right as you were assuring your team principal that you never interact with him. Not answering, Lando blinked several times, momentarily stunned by how his hoodie seemed to hang perfectly on you. He cleared his throat, swallowing thickly and muttering something you didn't quite catch - about you knowing how to kill a man or something.

"What?" you pretended to talk over the phone, shooting him a pointed look, growing acutely self-aware under his intense staring.

Tearing his eyes away from your figure and focusing back on the situation, he signed to your neck and when you pushed past him to look into the mirror, an horrified gasp fell from your lips. Your pulse quickened. If Toto saw the faint bruise - the hickey -  there would be no saving this situation. Thank God, Lando had remembered before anything happened but still-

“You asshole," you tried to slap his arm, but the man dodged with an apologetic smirk. "What do I do now?"

“Relax,” Lando said quietly, barely above a whisper, the ghost of his hand hovering above your shoulder. “It’s going to be fine. Just… don’t let him see it.”

You groaned, quickly letting your hair down to cover the mark. But it wasn’t enough. You needed a solution. “Great advice, genius. Any idea how to proceed?” you kept pretending to speak over the phone.

Make-up? you mouthed, but Lando shook his head negatively. Instead, searching his bathroom drawers, he victoriously grabbed a box, turning back to you with a smug look.

It was box of bandaids.

You stared at him, incredulous. “That’s your solution?”

“You have a better idea?” he silently shot back, amusement tugging at the corner of his lips.

Without waiting for your response, he stepped closer to you and gently pushed your damp hair aside. His fingers lingered against your skin, and you froze, your breath hitching as his touch sent shivers down your spine.

“Lando…” you warned, your voice a whisper.

“I’ll be quick,” he murmured, his eyes meeting yours for a fleeting moment. Frowning at the lack of light, he directed you toward the sink, his hand grazing the small of your back and sending your heart pounding against your chest.

You tried to give him more room by plopping yourself on the sink, but him placing himself between your legs and leaning toward your neck was doing nothing to help you both.

Yet, this time, there was something daunting about the rapid rhythm of your heart - like it was frantically chasing after something it could never have. The conversation you just had with Toto removed the blissful veil of denial that the night had tucked you in.

You had grabbed the doorknob of a door that was supposed to stay locked.

When Lando finally placed the band-aid over the mark, his thumb brushed softly your jawline, and you were glad you were sat because your knees nearly gave up. Finished with its task, his hand slowly fell to your thigh, burning the skin there. You inhaled sharply, closing your eyes to compose yourself.

Your resolve wouldn't crumble this time, you thought.

But when, determined, you finally reopened them, you weren't prepared for the arrow of guilt that pierced your heart. Lando's smile was stiff. Resigned. Accepting the wall you'd built between you two.

He'd heard you. Of course.

You didn't know how he felt or what he thought about what happened between the two of you. What you told Toto shouldn't really matter; yet somehow it felt exactly like when you say the wrong thing and don't realize it until it is too late.

You shouldn't feel remorse, but the aching pain in your chest looked a lot like it. There was no going back. You closed the door before you got to see what was behind, not admitting to him that you would have liked to take a peek.

"Thank you," your breath carried the meaningless words. There was nothing left to say. The silence had said enough. Lando simply nodded, his eyes full of the words sealed behind his lips.

You emerged from the bathroom, dragging behind a weight that felt a lot like your sullen heart, to find Toto sitting in the armchair, his sharp gaze flicking to you. You did your best to look casual, despite the rising tension in the room.

Toto’s piercing gaze immediately locked onto you, his expression unreadable. His brow lifted as an inquiry, one you deliberately ignored.

Taking one more second to collect your thoughts, you exhaled loudly. "Sorry. What was it that you wanted to talk about?"

Your team principal still looked skeptical but he let it slide. For now. “Be at the paddock in an hour. And maybe try not to get involved in any more... swaps with Norris.”

You nodded quickly, and Toto rose to leave. But just as he reached the door, he paused, turning back toward you.

“One more thing.”

Your stomach dropped. “Yes?”

“Do you simply happen to own hoodies from his merch or is it his?”

Your heart skipped a beat. “What?”

Toto’s eyes fell to where a logo was printed on the hoodie - a Quadrant logo. If you could facepalm right now, you would have crushed your skull with the force of despair. Since you couldn't, your mind raced instead, scrambling for an excuse. “I, uh… lost a dare. Had to wear his merch for an entire day. But I'll change for the team meeting.”

“Hmm,” Toto said, clearly unconvinced. He glanced at the bathroom door, then back at you. “Make sure you’re focused today.”

You nodded again, barely breathing until he finally left.

You sighed, leaning against the door and rubbing your temples. “This is a disaster.”

When Lando slid out of the bathroom, the same ache returned in your chest. You looked at each other across the room, feeling like you were across two poles of the planet.

"We're screwed?" he asked with a faint smile, his mischievous glint returning slowly in his eyes.

"Totally. But thanks anyway."

"Of course. Not like it was my fault or anything."

A genuine laugh escaped your lips, a familiar warmth flooded your stomach. Lando's face softened upon hearing the sound. For a moment, the air between you two settled into something lighter, the tension from earlier dissolving just a bit. You finally muttered the courage to let yourself focus on Lando and take in the sight of him - no matter the feelings that arose inside you.

He looked different here. Not just your rival. Not just your co-worker. Leaning against the doorframe, staring back at you with an intensity that made your pulse stutter, he felt like something more - something you weren’t sure you were ready to name. His eyes lingered, trailing over your face like he was memorizing it and the easy smile he wore didn’t quite reach the flicker of uncertainty beneath it.

There was no playfulness in the way he shifted, his knuckles grazing the edge of the bathroom door as if debating whether to step closer. You were all too aware of the distance separating you two - guiltiness gnawing at your heart. You felt like a hypocrite, for wanting him to crush the very distance you held onto so dearly.

When a knock surprised you both again, you were almost relieved, desperate to escape the web of contradictions you were tangled in. Lando, as if reading your mind, sighed heavily. His jaw tightened before he stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him a bit harsher than intended.

Ignoring the uneasy feeling in your heart, you opened the door with a forced smile plastered on your face.

"Yes, Toto, I—" You stopped mid-sentence, your words catching in your throat as you looked up at the unexpected face in front of you. "Oh. Um—Marc, hi."

Standing awkwardly in the doorway was Marc, the young McLaren engineer you'd befriended at the start of the season. His brown eyes widened upon seeing you, lips stretching into a genuine smile. "Hi, hey! Um- I- Toto told me I'd find you here," he greeted you, clearly nervous and shifting awkwardly on his feet.

"Yeah, there was a bit of a room mix-up last night," you explained, relaxing, your voice softening as you tried to make him feel at ease. No matter how terrible his timing was, you couldn't bring yourself to send him away. "How are you?"

"I'm good, good," he replied, but the unease in his tone was palpable. "Uh... sorry if this isn't the best time. I just—well, we talked a lot last night at the party, and, um, it was really fun. And I’ve been thinking about it. About you, actually... for a while."

Your heart dropped to your stomach, your smile faltering. Oh no. Not now, not here, please-

"I know it's not really... well, romantic. But I just wanted to say this before I lost the courage..." he continued as dread settled into your stomach. "Would you like to have dinner with me somed-"

His words died in his throat as the sudden sound of the water being turned on suddenly cracked through the room. Lando. You turned around with a gasp as you realized what was happening.

"Oh." Marc’s face fell, the realization settling over him like a cloud. He looked away, his cheeks reddening.

"No, it's not what you—" you started, but Marc was already stepping back, the hurt written all over his face.

"It’s fine," he said quickly, his voice trembling slightly. "I assumed- I mean, I should've known- I get it."

"Marc, I don't-"

"You don’t owe me any explanation, Y/n. Don’t worry- it's me."

"I'm so sorry, it's not-"

"Don't apologize, please. Let's- yeah I'll just go. Just forget about it, it's all good."

Before you could stop him, he was already retreating, throwing you a small, pained smile. Your throat tightened, and you opened your mouth to call his name, but the words wouldn't come.

The door clicked shut behind him, and you stood frozen, wishing you could melt into the floor. You’d never meant to put him in that position— to put such a kind and humble man through this embarrassment... God you wanted to disappear of the Earth's surface. It was all too much.

Frustrated, you stormed into the bathroom, your heart pounding in your chest as you pushed the door open with more force than necessary.

Lando stood by the sink, fully dressed, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows in that effortless way that made him look annoyingly attractive. The water ran freely, steam curling around his arms, though he paid it no attention, focusing instead on his phone.

You grabbed the faucet and twisted it off with a sharp snap. The abrupt silence in the room was deafening. Lando slowly lifted his gaze, his brows raising in mock surprise.

"Really, Lando?" you snapped, crossing your arms tightly across your chest.

He leaned against the counter, crossing his own arms in response, mirroring your posture. The sharpness in his eyes was new, laced with something unreadable—something that made your breath catch in your throat.

“What’s going on?” he asked with a nonchalance that only served to infuriate you more. But there was something in his voice—something dangerous lurking beneath the casual facade.

“Are you happy with your little stunt?” you shot back, stepping closer.

His smirk deepened, head tilting slightly as if amused by the accusation. “You did the same thing when I opened the door to Toto.” His eyes flickered with that teasing glint, but you weren’t in the mood to play his games.

You took a breath, forcing yourself to stay calm. “It’s different. And I was actually showering. Do you have any idea how that looked for Marc?”

Lando scoffed, the sound soft but cutting. “I’m sorry Marc discovered you spent the night with another man,” he said, voice laced with mockery and something darker - almost possessive. “Which you did.”

Your frown deepened, confusion flickering across your face. “It wasn’t like that, and you know it.”

His eyes darkened, and he stepped closer. The space between you evaporated, leaving only the subtle crackle of tension hanging in the air. His gaze dropped to your lips for half a second before meeting your eyes again.

“Do you actually like him?” His voice was lower now, softer but strained—as if the question was something he didn’t want to ask but couldn’t hold back. His tone sent a shiver down your spine, and your heart slammed against your ribs.

A scoff escape your lips - the answer was obvious, but it was none of his business. “No. We’re fr-”

“Then I spared you an awkward rejection. I don’t see what you’re complaining about,” he cut in, the smugness returning to his features.

You pressed your lips together, your frustration losing strength as he effortlessly turned the situation in his favor. “It wasn’t fair to him,” you muttered, more to yourself than him.

Lando’s jaw tightened. “How’s that fair to me?” His voice dropped, gravelly and low, the weight of his words hitting you like a freight train. “Slept with me... then flaunted all the other guys you have? I didn’t know you were such a heartbreaker, Y/n.”

You blinked, your pulse quickening despite the teasing glint in his eye. He was toying with you, but the undercurrent in his voice held something else. Something more.

“Oh, I slept with you now?” you said, trying to brush off the weight of the moment with humor. “You better not go around telling people that.”

He didn’t laugh. Instead, the flicker of mischief in his eyes disappeared, replaced by a frown. “Right. Wouldn’t want you out of contract next season.”

Your heart stumbled, his words slicing through the facade you tried to keep up. It was the first time he acknowledged what you’d said to Toto.

“Hmm.” It was all you could manage, your throat suddenly tight.

Lando leaned back, watching your reaction carefully. “Is Marc aware that you legally can’t date him?”

There it was again. The jealousy - subtle but unmistakeable. Well, not really subtle. But definitely unexpected - and you did not know how to deal with it or with how it made you feel. Wanted.

“I can date him. He’s not Mercedes personnel. Or... a driver.” The word felt heavy on your tongue, your eyes flickering to the door as if searching for an escape. "You should read your contracts more carefully, Norris.”

He held your gaze, something unreadable flickering across his features.

“I don’t have the clause in my contract,” he said after a beat, the words casual but heavy with implication.

You froze, blinking up at him. “What?”

From what you heard, most of the drivers had to sign a dating ban similar to yours - a subtle way of assuring everyone that they wouldn't date you more than anyone else. Assuring the sponsors that they wouldn't have to deal with an unwanted scandal or controversy.

His gaze was unwavering, the corners of his mouth twitching as if he were daring you to understand the weight of what he was saying.

“I refused to sign it.”

The confession lingered in the air between you, heavy and intoxicating. Your heart thudded violently in your chest as his eyes bore into yours, stripping away any pretense you tried to cling to.

He didn't elaborate, didn't give you the satisfaction of an explanation. Instead, he pushed himself off the sink, brushing past you with that same infuriating calm he always wore when the conversation veered too close to something real.

He paused at the doorway, glancing over his shoulder. His gaze was soft - understanding. But immensely conflicted.

And then he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him.

You stood frozen, staring at the empty space where he'd just been, heart thudding unevenly in your chest.

It took a moment for it to hit you.

He refused to sign it.

The realization settled over you slowly, like the soft trickle of rain through cracks in a window. Lando had always been reckless, but not about things like this. Not about things that could jeopardize his career.

You felt it now—woven beneath his teasing words, beneath the irritation and jealousy. He hadn't needed to say it out loud.

You pressed your palm to the cool edge of the sink, exhaling shakily as your reflection stared back at you.

Lando Norris didn’t sign the clause because of you.

And for the first time since the season started, doubt tugged at your heart. You were proud of your sacrifices. But the what-ifs slipped through the cracks of your conviction, and suddenly, you wished you didn’t bear such a heavy weight on your shoulders.

[pinescent-and-gingerbread]

Zae!!!!! (you know me, this is going to be long lmaooo)

That was so incredibly hot I'm not even kidding. I have so many things to say and it still won't do justice to how incredible reading Evanescence was.

First of all, I want to say just how funny that cut was between the woman from Doyle's Tavern insulting him and asking for money in exchange for information to Arthur walking out with said info, all his money and a ban from the Tavern?? Idk it just made me laugh out loud for real 😂. Alright, now more serioulsy—

"Instinct lured him to the debauched inn, and your name frothed from his muzzle in more of a growl than speech. Like a rabid dog, he snapped and barked orders at the women unlucky enough to be trapped with the beast on the arena floor."

Looove that section and the paragraph after. Fellow figurative lovers, we are spoiled. And Jesus am I completely insane for finding the whole thing even hotter with a bestial, animalistic Arthur like this? Perfect comparison.

And the whole ring part! Their entire relationship is SO well written and so well balanced. You had shared your doubts with me about how to write an LH, but my GOD, this was absolutely perfect. GIVE YOURSELF MORE CREDIT I'M BEGGING YOU!!

His intrinsic violence, his possessiveness that dominates him in spite of himself is so in character, and YET, we love it, we love him, just as always.

I so love all the nuances you described in both him and the Reader. She's aware of the problems in their relationship and wants to fight him; she refuses to make things easy for him and give him what he wants. She loves him and hates him so much at the same time... And Arthur, all his impulsiveness, his brutality make us think he's looking for control at all costs; in the end, it's just the only way he can react to the fact that it's him who's completely in love with her and under her thumb. Brilliant. The dialogue in this part is really perfect, with Arthur repeating the “Yours” more and more surely. *sighs*

“You don’t own me, Arthur Morgan!” But the shouting was no use. He closed in on you again, and you reached out, clenching your fists in his shirt to stop his advance. If he noticed, he didn’t let on, talking with a tight jaw. “No, dammit, cause you own me.”

And the wild kiss right after! The whole prey and predator game, so so good. You know I'm suuuuch a sucker for these kinds of comparisons. And the way they're fighting each other but getting closer at the same time... So, so erotic.

And EXCUSEEEE ME, Reader insulting him as they succomb to it? I am so into this. God it made my body feel all sorts of ways 🥵🔥

He knew you were dancing dangerously close to the cliff’s overhang by the way you were keeping him in place, right where you wanted him. But the brute stopped and locked eyes with you, lips curved downward. That slight glimpse of vulnerability you thought you’d seen earlier was now on full display. “Say you won’t go,” he choked out.  Down on his knees, looking up at you with genuine sincerity was the closest he’d ever get to prayer or penance. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat but didn’t answer him.

Oh. My. Lord. I could DIE from this simple vision. This is just incredibly hot and so good to read; I wasn't expecting him to actually be the dominated one here. (Big boys just want to be taken care of, don't they?🤭😉)

And Jesus, how do you achieve that Zae? Because the part after was even better!!! Honestly, I was already choking here, and then that:

“No good, thieving, murderous bastard.”  “I know.” He drew out, tightly clutching the sheets. With a firm nudge, you urged him onto his back.  “You don’t deserve me. Never did,” you continued. His hips jutted in time with your wrist, his climax sitting low in his balls.   “I–dammit–I–kn–know.” The muscles of his stomach constricted as he fought for breath, damn near suffocating under your touch.  “I’ll change.” He gasped, eyes closed, and brow furrowed. “I’ll change. But–ahh–I ain’t ever gonna be good enough for you, woman–nghh–no matter how much changin’ I do.”

I AM DEAD!!!! I loved this part so much I think I read it four times already!!! I mean come on guys, the dialogue, every word sounds so fcking good, perfectly transcribing his voice, making him spit out he's indeed too bad for her, and her stroking him like this, him babbling that he'll change? I'm getting all excited again just talking about it 🫠 This is definitely one of my favorite fic moments, ever.

And of course, as always, the grandiose climax, with once again the predator comparison but with HER as a lioness???? ZAE MARRY ME. This was absolute perfection. And even better, the second echo with him finishing inside, while she asserts "Yours". I just can't with that level of perfection, of masterfulness. This is mind-blowing, Zae. You really made me lose my mind with this one.

The last words also struck me; they are so relevantly bitter-sweet. An ideal ending for this nuanced relationship. You're forever inspiring me.

To conclude, one of my new favorites of yours (yes I knoooow every new one is becoming one of my favorites of yours, but hell I'm just a girl and you're still so incredibly talented!). I'm left in awe of your talent, every time, and here especially with such a subtle LH Arthur. Please, be proud, because you really did him justice. Bravo, bravo, bravo.

Love u! -Your loyal Piney 💞

Evanesce

Summary: You try to runway. Pairing: Arthur Morgan x female!reader Word count: 3,673 Tags: angst, smut, mid-low honor Arthur, handjob, unprotected p in v, oral, breeding kink, tb? Don’t know her. Warnings: 18+ MDNI, toxic relationship

An: I feel like I ran a never ending marathon with this one. Drafted it a month ago, but I never really vibed with it. Challenged myself to just get it done and make sure I was proud of it. Once again, I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone. Shout out to @googoolies for the note idea! As always, I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

Tagging @hihomeghere because you asked ❤️

Evanesce: to dissipate like vapor

Worn floorboards of Shady Bell wailed under Arthur’s weight as songbirds began their morning melodies. The gunslinger scoped the eerily empty, quiet camp for traces of you, but all he found was a folded letter on his pillow.

Echoes of your last conversation flashed in his mind as he tramped across the narrow room to retrieve the note. Two nights ago, The Old Guard overlooked their kingdom from the second-floor balcony as they discussed their plans to wage war against Angelo Bronte. Bile stung the back of your throat as two-thirds of the trio outruled the other. Hosea’s final words to Dutch and Arthur, “You’ll damn us all,” filled you with dread and the overwhelming feeling of impending doom.

Arthur avoided your shadowed eyes as he reloaded his weapons and ignored your outcry against Dutch’s plan. Your desperation had turned swiftly to indignation, and an argument commenced, your voices clashing like swords. You begged him not to go, pleading with the enforcer to listen to reason for once, to listen to you. But he pushed back with the shield of obstinance he had long forged for survival. 

“I don’t take orders from you, woman, and keep your goddamn voice down.”

Thousands of tiny needles pricked at the backs of your eyes at the harsh directive, but you held firm. 

“Arthur, if you go I’ll–” 

“Don’t,” he warned dismissively, slinging his rifle over his shoulder and ambling to the door. He didn’t even bother saying goodbye as he twisted the knob. Your last words fell on ears deafened from years of gunfire. 

“If you leave, I won’t be here when you come back.”

Two days later, Arthur masked his guilt with anger as he skimmed over the last piece of you left in the room. Four words in the polite loops of your handwriting taunted him: Saint Denis. Train. Running. 

After a quick check of the cinch, he found himself begrudgingly engulfed in the city of smog and greed he’d come to hate so much. Riding through the maze of cobblestone, brick, and vermin was like laying under a guillotine, staring up at the blade and waiting for it to drop. Law on every corner, people jammed together, and now, Bronte’s men out for revenge–none of it felt right. 

Taking in a breath that didn’t reach deep enough, he started his search for you in this hornets’ nest of a city. Most of the hotels and saloons served him with nothing but a heavy dose of adrenaline and dead ends. As he approached Doyle’s Tavern, his last stop, he dug his nails into his trembling palm, savoring the sting of apathy that came with the pain.

Arthur made a beeline to Gabe Doyle, reciting his rehearsed description of you. A woman standing beside him, whose garments had seen cleaner days, tapped him on the shoulder. The outlaw didn’t even look at her, didn’t give her time to speak before he rejected her with razor-edge disdain. When Arthur finished, Gabe only shrugged his shoulders, but the woman, still standing close by, let out a derisive giggle.

“He won’t be of no help, mista’. Coulda’ told ya’ for free, but it’ll cost ya’ now.”

Ire made his ears ring, drowning out all the other sounds in the slum’s saloon. He drummed his fingers hard on the worn wooden bar, the taste of pride sour on his tongue. 

“How much?” 

Cleavage spilled over her top as she leaned towards him and twiddled brazenly with the collar of his shirt. 

“Well, for clients that play nice, seven dollars, but for you, rotten dirty bastard––times it by ten.” 

A minute later, he exited Doyle’s Tavern not a cent lighter, heavy with an indefinite ban, but finally, a real lead on you. Four new mocking words overshadowed ones from the letter: Whore house; Courtenay Street. 

A brothel—a goddamn brothel. 

Instinct lured him to the debauched inn, and your name frothed from his muzzle in more of a growl than speech. Like a rabid dog, he snapped and barked orders at the women unlucky enough to be trapped with the beast on the arena floor.

They tried futilely to stop his march down the hall, tried to keep him from getting to you, but the chaos drew you into the colosseum and into the lion’s direct line of sight. You yanked the man-turned-animal by the sleeve and sealed yourselves away before he could do any more damage. 

More tame now, sea storm orbs surveyed you in a quick but covert once over, then he spun on his heel, searching for anything else to focus on.

“Christ, been looking for you all day, woman,” he bit out through clenched teeth. 

The lone wolf prowled the new territory for a threat but was only met with a vacant cave and the empty feeling of shame. Deflecting, he found your luggage, lifting the bags with the practiced ease of carrying buckets of water to and fro. His biceps flexed with the weight of your whole life in one bag, but he nodded at you, matter of fact. 

“C’mon. M’taking you home.”

Home. You could’ve laughed if it didn’t hurt so much. None of these places had ever been home.

“I ain’t going nowhere with you,” you fired back, grabbing for the suitcase in his hand. A brief game of tug-of-war ensued, your grip relentless, Arthur’s unwavering, until he finally let you pull one of the bags free. He dropped the other and exhaled with the sharpness of a saber but stayed silent at the conclusion of your weaponless duel. He’d fallen in love with that gnawing defiance, but now it was tearing him to pieces, bit by bit until it exposed the marrow of pure anger.

“Runnin’ off is one thing.” His nostrils flared, and the timbre of his voice deepened as he carried on, “But running off t’here–– selling yourself?” He shook his head and blew air through his teeth, “Yer crazier than I thought.”

You whirled away from him, swatting your hand like he was as insignificant as a fly.

“And you’re a bigger idiot than I thought. Ain’t selling myself, you damn fool! And I’ll do whatever the hell I please. Right now, I want to get far away from this shit city and you.”

“No, you don’t,” he said, dragging out the words. “I know you just as well as you think you know me. If you wanted away–really wanted away–you wouldn’t’ve left this pretty little letter, and sure as hell wouldn’t’ve told me where to find ya’.” He retrieved the letter from his satchel, held it up just long enough for you to see, and crushed it in his fist before discarding it on the floor.

“That’s what I think of your pretty little letter.” 

You had started a slow involuntary backtrack during his monologue, the flight response pushing back against the fight. He followed, sandwiching you between himself and the door.

“Screw you.” Scorn was hot on your breath.   

Just as you thought to turn the knob, to free yourself from the prison of flesh and wood, the iron teeth of a bear trap, his fingers, clamped around your wrist, bringing your hand to eye level. 

“And you still got something of mine.”

Both pairs of eyes landed on a small round sparkling opal set in a gold band on your left ring finger.

You’d never forget finding it on your pillow along with a letter from Arthur that just said, “One day…”

He had made promises he didn’t keep. First, you just had to wait for the Ferry Job. Next, you needed to survive Colter. Then you had to get far away from the Pinkertons, and most recently, all you needed to do was help case the Lemoyne National Bank. One last job, he’d told you. It was the same thing he said before leaving for that boat in Blackwater.

Contempt flowed through your veins as you tried to wrench free. God, you hated him right now, but you hated yourself more for letting him fool you.

“Let go.” You hissed, seething. 

Your hand throbbed as he gave your wrist another squeeze.

“You first.” Then he nodded towards the stone on your finger. “My ring,” he demanded.

Your knuckles collided with the wood of the door with a hard knock as you freed your hand. You flattened your palm against the wood behind your back, guarding the ring from the career thief’s piercing gaze.

“No,” you shot back, sinking into yourself. “It’s mine.” 

Your finger throbbed around the ring you’d seldom taken off. It had become part of you, melded to your skin like a vine coiled around a tree in a beautiful and deadly embrace. 

“Yours?” he huffed incredulously, shaking his head, trying to form your words into something he could understand. For a short beat, the heavy huff and puff of his breath was the only thing you could register. 

You had mined forever to find something other than cold coals of anger within him. You thought you’d found it—thought you’d finally struck gold when he confessed his feelings for you somewhere out west all that time ago. Now, you were left wondering if it was only fool’s gold you had stumbled upon. The cowardly knight was far too proud and far too afraid of getting stabbed to lay down his armor. But you were having a silent conversation with those sad eyes, reading words he’d never speak or ask aloud. What does that make me, then? 

“Yours.” He answered his inner thoughts without hesitation.

Mine. You thought back but only stared at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of cracking under his scrutiny. 

“Yours.” He repeated assuredly, final. 

It was your turn to shake your head now; you could hear his vocal cords vibrating, generating sounds you were supposed to understand, but he may as well have been speaking another language because what the hell did he know about being anybody else’s? You repeated your thoughts bluntly.

For a moment, he looked stunned, but then his hand shot out, cupping your jaw and tilting your face toward his. He was so close, you could smell him now. The scents of liquor on his breath and leather in his hat permeated your whole being.

“You don’t think–” His voice was low and trembling with fury. “I been yours since the goddamn day I laid eyes on you, and you know it.”

Fight, flight, freeze, and now fawn all warred for dominance. Twin mirrors of blue cosmos peered into your soul, but you didn’t look back, knowing that black holes of destruction ruled in the center and could swallow you in the blink of an eye.

“You have to go, Arthur.”

You tried to reach for the knob again, but Arthur imposed on you further, his chest brushing against yours. 

“No,” he said. “I ain’t going nowhere without you, and you ain’t going nowhere without me. M’done talking about it.”

It’s like he couldn’t listen, couldn’t hear you, couldn’t respect what you wanted. He only ever responded to shouting and violence. So you dipped down to his level, anything to get him to understand. Your open hand pushed full force against his chest, knocking the wind from him and making him stumble backward.

“You don’t own me, Arthur Morgan!”  

But the shouting was no use. He closed in on you again, and you reached out, clenching your fists in his shirt to stop his advance. If he noticed, he didn’t let on, talking with a tight jaw.

“No, dammit, cause you own me.” 

You balled your fists around cotton fabric and pulled him down into you, inhaling like you were bracing for the worst. This game, Predator and Prey, had become second nature to you. You would always be his fawn, thrashing and wailing, yet never escaping the salivating jaws of the coyote. And it always ended the same: a clash of heavy breathing and snarls before you surrendered.

Tobacco and whiskey never tasted so good, and they were just as addictive as him. Your teeth clashed together, and his left hand fell to your hip while his right twisted the lock on the knob. 

He was never gentle, but now, he was almost crazed. Rough hands that were trembling only an hour ago were all over you, gripping your jaw, sliding under your blouse, pushing and pulling you to his whim.

“Falling in love with you was the dumbest thing I ever did,” you confessed as he removed his hat and set it aside; he had better access to you without it. Heat surged through you as his hands bit into your hips, pinning you in place against the locked door. 

You mumble under your breath, “Bastard.”  

So far, he was ignoring your attempts to rouse him; you were his pretty little doe, caught in his chops, and a few barbs wouldn’t keep him from utterly devouring you. Dipping his head into your neck, he fixated on that pulsing artery, taking no time to roll the flesh between his teeth.

“Goddamn asshole,” you huffed but cradled his head as he claimed you.

He brushed over the ruptured blood vessels with his knuckles, and the bastard was smiling, eyes glazed over with lust and self-indulgence. Electricity sparked down your legs as he looped his fingers in the waistband of your skirt. 

You swore to yourself two nights ago that it was all over, that you wouldn’t let him slither back, yet here you were, Eve, being tempted by the serpent. Teeth sank into the forbidden fruit with the lift of your hips off the door, giving him permission to snatch both your skirt and bloomers down in a swift pull. Arthur didn’t need much persuasion to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil; a man like him could have never lived for eternity in The Garden of Eden. 

The pair of you wore pride like heraldry, but neither of you was as honorable as you’d led the other to believe. You, provoking him with the threat of leaving, knowing you’d let this happen as you always did, and him never changing and never stopping the cycle of broken promises. 

Your scent was intoxicating, but he held off from relishing it, studying your face like he’d done many times before. Something was different this time, though. Only for a heartbeat, you saw something in his eye, a minuscule hint of vulnerability. You blinked, and it was gone like it was never there, replaced by an unabashed smirk. You kept the insults flying. 

“Jerk.”

Hearing the laugh rumble in his chest made your skin prick up the same way it did when a thunderstorm was brewing on the horizon. The cowboy braced his hands against your thighs and peeked up at you, his lips still curved in the corners.

He lifted his eyebrow in question, “You done?”

“Shut up,” you responded, tangling your fingers in his hair and guiding him, not so gracefully, to the heat between your legs. 

Obeying, he flicked his tongue out to lap at you, drawing you closer in a hug, his palms resting on the curve of your ass cheeks. Steadying yourself against the door, you tugged on his hair like reins, but fuck, you didn’t want him to stop. You grunted and cursed under your breath as that gluttonous, greedy grifter feasted on you. 

Blasphemous sounds rose up from your chest as you rocked your hips feverishly with every swipe of his warm wet tongue against your clit. Every tug of his locs and bump of your mound into his nose sent blood pulsing full speed to the bulge in his pants. He knew you were dancing dangerously close to the cliff’s overhang by the way you were keeping him in place, right where you wanted him. But the brute stopped and locked eyes with you, lips curved downward. That slight glimpse of vulnerability you thought you’d seen earlier was now on full display.

“Say you won’t go,” he choked out. 

Down on his knees, looking up at you with genuine sincerity was the closest he’d ever get to prayer or penance. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat but didn’t answer him.

Instead, you ushered him back to his feet and crashed your lips into his again, tangling your tongue with his.

In a swift motion, you popped his suspenders loose while you walked him backward. The backs of his knees hit the bed, and he shimmied off his multiple layers just as quick as you unfastened the buttons on your blouse. You stood before him, a goddess, determining his eternal fate. And he waited, fixated on you, languidly stroking his engorged cock while you decided.

You replaced his fisted grip with yours, bending to meet his eye. The almost frown on his face made you wonder what he was seeing staring back at him. You imagined your pupils blown out, your lips swollen, and your hair disheveled. Arthur was the only man in the world who could turn you into a vixen. 

“You’re a fool, Arthur Morgan.” Your noses were almost touching as you tightened your grip and stroked him painfully slowly. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he nodded, his face downright solemn. 

“Mhm,” you went on, rubbing circles atop his hot, leaking pink tip. Your pace quickened as your cheek grazed his. A shiver ran through him as the vibrations of your voice tickled his ear.

“No good, thieving, murderous bastard.” 

“I know.” He drew out, tightly clutching the sheets. With a firm nudge, you urged him onto his back. 

“You don’t deserve me. Never did,” you continued. His hips jutted in time with your wrist, his climax sitting low in his balls.  

“I–dammit–I–kn–know.”

The muscles of his stomach constricted as he fought for breath, damn near suffocating under your touch. 

“I’ll change.” He gasped, eyes closed, and brow furrowed. “I’ll change. But–ahh–I ain’t ever gonna be good enough for you, woman–nghh–no matter how much changin’ I do.”

Air finally flowed back through with the halt of your pumping. The mattress sunk with your added weight as you slung your legs on either side of him. Neither party stalled. You gave him a quick nod before he could even ask, and he sank his length into your warm, wet pussy. There were no hushing kisses, no waiting for you to adjust, no cajoling, just the smacking of skin and the aroma of sex in the room as he molded you to his girth. Bashfulness had never even crossed your mind. You rode him tirelessly, whimpering, gasping, and filling the air with his name. 

The roles reversed; you were the animal now, a lioness pursuing a buck. Chasing the high, you galloped hard and fast and grinding your hips against his to relieve the throbbing ache in your clit. You massaged the sensitive nub between your thighs, indulging in the pleasure you were giving yourself and receiving from him. The tip of his cock bumped that sweet spot inside of you, the one that made you tense and cry out over and over again. 

You didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want him to know what he was doing to you or how he was making you feel–how he always made you feel when he was burrowed deep inside of you. You couldn’t hide from him, though. He knew you–knew the faces and sounds you made, knew the way you tightened around him, knew how you stiffened, knew how your breathing shallowed when you were on the edge. He knew the control he’d have over you forever.

“You ain’t going nowhere.” He grunted as he pounded up into you, the knot in his stomach tightening with his own upcoming release. 

“Fucker,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, and you love it.” 

You couldn’t deny it.

He took your hand in his and felt for the ring on your finger, stroking it, all while keeping eye contact and hammering relentlessly into your velvety walls. Four more thrusts and your eyes rolled back as the lightbulb of tension burst.

“That’s right, let it go, there it is.” Muttering, his upward ruts got sloppier as you rode out your body-spasming orgasm. Then he started babbling, lost in your sweet heat,

“Shit, I’m–bout t–m’close.”

The cowboy tried to lift you up, tried not to spill inside of you, but you buried your head in the crook of his neck and lowered yourself back down, taking him balls deep.

“Goddamnit,” he growled, hugging you to his chest, “the hell you doing, t’me, woman?” He panted and stared up at the ceiling like a man condemned. 

“Ain’t going nowhere,” you echoed breathlessly, still bouncing, before adding, “Yours.” 

In a few more strokes, he filled you up, grunting through his teeth and cursing up a storm that’d make even the most seasoned sailors look on timidly.

Outside noises of the establishment and the streets of Saint Denis droned back in as both of you came back to your senses. An ocean of things was left unsaid as you redressed and let Arthur lead you out of the room and to a proper hotel for the night. The next morning, you took Arthur up on his offer to get away for a few days. As the train you had boarded for your trip chugged on, something in the distance piqued your interest, a small homestead. You could vaguely make out a woman sitting on the porch and a man, presumably her husband, tending to a horse nearby. Of course, you didn’t know their life or their struggles, but if you could write your own happily ever after, it would be that. Arthur nudged you with his elbow, interrupting your daydream.  

“M’sorry...about everything,” he said, low, barely audible. The perpetual ache in your chest had almost gone numb after so long. Almost. 

“I know.” You replied and turned back to the window. The house was out of sight now, and you had a feeling your fairy tale ending had vanished with it.

[shatcey]

Victor theories. Contradictions and links

This is probably the last part of my theories about Vivi before his route came out. Most likely, they have nothing to do with reality, which we will see pretty soon. I will kill someone if Cybird release someone from Vogel first. Do you hear that, Cybird? I'll buy tamagotchi and kill it!!!!! You don't want that, do you? Poor defenseless little creature…

When I read other theories and events about Vivi, I had some thoughts, but I haven't finished them, haven't put them together, and… I think it's finally time to do it properly.

I should probably add warnings. I'm mentioning the details of Alfons and Harrison's routes. And also provide fragments of events that had not yet been in the EN game (only in JP). And… a bit about Azel's route (but I'm warning you about this, and you can easily skip to the next part without reading).

There were many events with Vivi. I made a list when started preparing for this post… Not all of them contain anything that I can use within the described boundaries, but they all provide few or many hints. So… it took some time to check. I hope I didn't miss anything.

If so… remind me, and I'll make one more "last post"… it becomes an endless story.

His personality

@maladaptivedaydreamsx assumed that Victor isn't his real name, but was given to him because of Queen. I thought about that as well. As I mentioned here, Victor thinks of himself in quotation marks, as if it's not his real name, but a role he's playing. And that actually sounds pretty fitting. On the surface, he's a cheerful and positive, with a sweet, mama-type vibe. But when we read the stories from his perspective, he feels completely different. Very dark and even scary. His thoughts show how much he notices and thinks before making any decisions, how much of a calculating bastard he really is (lovingly). But is his cheerful side a role he's playing? Or is it just part of his personality? From the Bond story "The Other Side"

and kiss event...

Victor insists that this is just a part of him. And I'm inclined to believe.

There is a theory that Victor is actually immortal. @.reccyls mentioned this here last time. And this theory is possible. Not only because Victor is so determined to treat all the members of Crown and Kate like children. But also because of this Willy's remark from the 1st Victor's birthday

There are two possibilities that Willy could be hinting at.

The first… Vivi is a god. The God of death.

But… this may have a different meaning. Vivi is very closed to God or any other immortal being. Vivi often talks about death as a living creature. Perhaps the fact that he is a "constant companion of death" makes him a kind of expert in this matter.

And that's why I tend to think that the second option is closer to the truth. It's from the very beginning of the same 1st birthday.

Yes, Harry often says that Victor lies a lot, but I don't think that applies to this situation. The wording is very strange. He doesn't seem happy about this fact. Like… "I wish I had more time". Maybe it's just me.

Oh, I forgot about another option. Vivi could have been a god, but now he's a human. This explains why he's so annoyed by the fact that he needs to sleep. Hmmm… I like that option.

If assumed he's a very old and powerful being… who, despite this, has not lost interest in life as such and can still find joy in it (reminds of someone, right?). How did the Queen manage to get him as her aid? A contract? We have another Black butler?

And if everyone thinks of him as a very strong person, then no one will ever assume that he needs anything. No one ever considers him human. This thought crossed my mind when I talked about the Mirror event, but I decided not to voice it. But… what the hell… this is the last post, where else should I talk about it?

It was the same with Azel (if you haven't read his route and don't want spoilers, skip right to the next point). People didn't see him as a human being, they only asked for help, advice, and so on… In their eyes, he was only giving, after all, he is God. But… this is a rather selfish way of thinking. Even if a person seems completely independent and strong, and… perfect… this doesn't mean that he has nothing to wish. I can easily imagine Vivi in this concept. And that explains why he was so surprised when Kate said she liked helping him or taking care of him. This has never happened before.

But he doesn't have to be an immortal being for people to consider him inhuman. He succeeds in everything he does, and people may think that he doesn't need anyone's help.

His contradictions

Kate described him very accurately at a Drunk event, translated by @.reccyls.

I would also add that he takes care of the garden and himself (see how his hair is… it's a lot of work, you know) and it looks like he's sleeping normally. My baby Ally has dark circles under her eyes due to lack of sleep. But Vivi… there is no such thing. So… Yes, he really seems like the perfect person.

But behind every great accomplishment is a lot of hard work. We don't know what it is… he just has a habit of using every second of his life to the fullest, or… a kind of magic. But he really does a lot, and… I can understand why he wants to… relax sometimes. He can't admit it for some reason (pride or some restrictions) but he wants to anyway. And at the same Drunken event, he tricked Kate into putting his head in her lap and hugging her. As if he needed a reason for that. It feels like he's constantly preventing himself from doing what he wants to do. At the very end of Butler's event ("Your Hand, My Lady" translated by @.reccyls) Willy hints at this...

He's happy because Victor is FINALLY doing what he wants to do.

I got the impression that curse of the boys is a sick joke of fate. It is contrary to their true nature. Like a absolutely honest and straightforward Harrison have to lie because his curse forces him to do so. Or Ally, who wanted only one thing in life... to be remembered, and the curse did not allow him to got this. So I see the same contradiction in Victor's behavior… is his curse. He is literally obsessed with the idea of freedom. And the way he lives makes it seem like he's not free at all. And his desire to get something for himself sometimes is like getting some fresh air before he finds himself back in the dusty tunnels… He literally doesn't do ANYTHING for himself, he doesn't even ask others for anything. This is from the 2nd Cristmas event, translated by @.reccyls.

And this is from bond's story "About Freedom"

Despite the fact, he joked afterwards that he is as free as the wind. In this phrase, he said "I", not "you" or "people" in general. I'm sorry, Vivi, but I don't believe you're free. In fact, you've probably never been. That's why you dream about it. And it's a little sad.

Connections with the Queen

The bond between Vivi and the Queen is very strong and mysterious. He is absolutely devoted to her and literally does everything she says. But how long has he been doing this? Why does he feel like he belongs to her? As he told William at the very end of Butler event ("Your Hand, My Lady" translated by @.reccyls.

The first thing that comes to mind is the Black Butler. Sebas demonstrates absolute dedication without asking questions. And he is a demon who is devoted to man. Actually Vivi said at the first Christmas event (Wreck the halls) that he had made a deal with death…

Perhaps it has something to do with the Queen. I'm not saying that the Queen is the Death (we never know for sure), but the way he's devoted to her, and the way he convinced that the connection with death is not so easy to break, seems somehow similar. Indestructible.

@.velisle has posted a really huge post with facts and theories about Vivi… I added my thoughts here. There was a theory… That's the kid Victor talked about at the Secrets event…

...In fact, he is.

But there are two things that prevent me from thinking that way. The first… he doesn't know if the Queen could make them smiles. If he was that kid, he would know that.

And the second. If we assume that he is not a vampire or another magical creature that lives exceptionally long (or endless), then it is quite difficult to imagine. The calculation is simple. The game takes place around 1890. And the queen begins to rule in 1837. More than 50 years have passed since. And Victor looks like he's 40 at the most. So… He's NOT that kid, but… it could have been his parent or… an older sibling. Or… even someone related to Kate. I wouldn't be surprised if the developers link them so tightly.

@rou-luxe assumed that Victor made a promise to the Queen many years ago and continue fulfill it. It seems very correct, but at the same time not quite. No matter how much you like sticking to your promise, at some point you will feel tired or pressured to keep it. But here… he does it willingly, even with joy. So my idea… he is very grateful to the Queen. As if she had saved his life or given him a new life that he wouldn't have been able to get otherwise. This brings me back to my previous thought. That the Queen is not really human. But she is… at least the real Queen Victoria, who lived and died (which makes her a normal person). If it's just gratitude, then what exactly did she do for him to get him for a lifetime? This is… THE question!

Connections with Crown boys

We know that Vivi and Willy immediately clicked on the common desire to free people. The way we were shown Vivi's cursed ability (as I mentioned in a previous theory post) is somewhat similar to Willy's. I'll just add this part from the 1st birthday story.

We will not talk about that this is technically impossible to strangle yourself. Don't try to prove me wrong, check on Google.

The fact remains… Vivi orders the man to die or Death to take him away. But for some reason, his victim feels happy to follow this order.

It doesn't matter how, but the cursed ability of both of them (Victor and William) deprive a person of freedom. So… no wonder they understand each other so well, they literally went through the same struggles.

I don't think Vivi is particularly kind to Harry just because of his reaction (which is always so good). But also because he feels a little guilty about the death of Harry's father. He did not predict, did not find out, did not fix the problem in time. Yes, Vivi claims that he is not a kind, but rather an evil person, but he is a good teammate, he respects and helps all his partners. And he and Marco had a good team… From a distance, completely ignoring each other… but in the end, they really help each other a lot. So Vivi may feel guilty for missing something.

I didn't notice any special treatment for anyone else at the Crown. Well… Kate is an exception. But I would like to talk about her separately.

Connections with Kate

First the facts. Victor dragged Kate to the Crown because he thought it would help the boys. From his 1st birthday.

He said (will say) the same thing in the 1st anniversary (my summary). He thought she would change something. What does he think needs to be changed? He used a rather interesting phrase in 1st birthday...

Usually, when he said something like that, it's "succumb to your wickedness". Vivi often say that when he sends the boys to work. Did he assume that Kate would help them become better at their work? Is it related to work at all? Maybe about their course? Maybe it's about understanding themselves better? Or… about something completely different? But I tend to think he was looking for a way to combine them together.

They're all pretty strong and independent, they don't have much in common, they literally split into several groups, and he wanted to find a reason to unite them into one team. It's a very noble cause. He would probably reject such an idea as not fitting his wicked nature. Why do my favorite boys try to argue with me when I say good things about them? They're so weird.

But there's something he doesn't want her to know. Again from the 1st birthday...

It feels like he's afraid. It feels like he's been through something and doesn't want to make the same mistake again. Or he's constantly fighting… probably with his own curse… which forces him to do something to her (remember that his curse contradicts his essence). Vivi says something about it at the 1st Christmas event. This darkness demands that he stains her and whisks her away (I wrote about it here).

But his expectations of Kate really came true. She really brought change. And she even changed him. This is from his 2nd birthday story translated by @.reccyls.

It already looks like we're in the middle of his route. He feels that he is becoming less like an observer, he feels that he wants more for himself.

And now my assumptions, which, in fact, are based on nothing at all

The only thing we can be sure about is a kiss on the forehead. It was mentioned twice (I talked about it at the kiss event). The fact that Kate mentioned it twice means that developers are most likely to use it on one of the main routes. It could be Darius or someone we don't know about yet, but I think… that it's Victor. And it's not just his reaction to that kiss that makes me think so. But the DARK IF event.

I know it's an alternate world, but… the essence of the characters is the same, and it's quite interesting to imagine his main route through the prism of this event. Vivi's story hasn't been released yet, but in the second part of the event, there was a story for 95k points, and it's gorgeous. Translated by @.reccyls.

And this part is from a letter from this event. Not quite, but let's put it this way. Translated by @.reccyls.

The one and only. The soulmates. Actually, this theme is very strong at this event, and maybe I shouldn't even focus on it. But… for some reason, this concept seems very fitting for Vivi. The Vivi we know from Victorian London. And I really like to see this theme on at least one route in this game. Why not on Victor's, right?

So… my theory… Victor and Kate met when Kate was still a child. We haven't determined whether Victor is human or not, so I won't talk about him, but Kate was a child and witnessed something very bad. Something that could easily break the psyche for life. Victor solved the problem and kissed her on the forehead… and that's literally the only thing she remembers. It was probably just a short meeting, but for some reason they both remembered it. And now… after all these years, they meet again because they are destined to be together… I got goosebumps.

I think we should expect a second Tamamo route. With the "I want to be your friend so you won't be alone". They will work together, but this time she will help him with his work, and someone from his past will appear. Don't tell me he was a king as well… Thatever. And… so the hot scene will only be after the last avatar challenge (or even only in the epilogues).

Dark times are ahead... Patience to all of us.

@ethereal-blossom, Michelle, dear, I haven't found how to use your theories… my brain is burning up a bit after two days of thinking. But I'd like you to look at it. Maybe you could point out my mistakes or would like to add something. You know I'm always happy to read your thoughts.

The design of the spikelet on the dividers I took from Designed by Freepik

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🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝

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[straows]

𝘐’𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘥. 𝘖𝘯 𝘝𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦’𝘴 𝘋𝘢𝘺. 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘪𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳??

Warning: insecurities, when Gojo’s tipsy he’s an asshole, yada yada I’m sad so your gonna be sad, extreme dieting + weightloss, not good communication, maybe apart two? Only if yall want one tho. This is kinda ass.

You and Gojo were at a dinner party with some of your friends. You were dress up all pretty in a nice dress and Gojo was looking great as usual.

Gojo, bless his heart and his weak little alcohol tolerance had taken a few too many sips of your wine and was a hit tipsy at this point.

You were laughing at a joke one of your close friends had said to you, and you look up at Gojo, only to see him staring at another woman across the hall. Yes she was gorgeous, soft perfect skin, short but thick hair, a stunning figure…

‘Oh god.’ Your heart dropped down to your stomach, chest tightening but you forced yourself to stay calm. This could be a misunderstanding.

“Hey baby, what are you looking at?” You sweetly smile and gently put your hand on his forearm.

“Man she’s gorgeous…, this reminds me, have you put on some weight?” Gojo looked down at you, his eyes a little glazed over from the wine.

You and your best friend just froze. Your stomach began to ache and your throat began to burn as you held back tears. That is not something any woman would want to fucking hear.

Clenching your jaw, you simply smile, albeit a little shakily, “a little bit. Sorry.” You murmur.

Gojo just sighed and looked back over at the woman.

That’s how that night went. You just standing by his side all night trying to not cry because all he did was stare at that woman.

Even she was getting a little creeped out and left.

So when you got home, you stared at yourself in front of the mirror. Wearing a pair of sleeping shorts, no top or bra on.

Your hands slowly slid over your stomach and gently squeezed your hips. You had an amazing figure, sure, you’d put on some weight but most of it just went to your ass and thighs. You’d thought you looked good, even Toji, the womanizer and brutally honest asshole said you looked fine as hell.

You went to bed beside Gojo but didn’t cuddle up against him, hell you hugged the edge. You didn’t want anyone to touch you, especially not after tonight’s events.

And you weren’t any better in the morning. Your heart ached and so did you insecurities. Hell new ones even began to peak back up.

In the morning, instead of walking around in your normal Gojo’s shirt + panties combo, you had a thick hoodie on and a pair of baggy sweats.

“Fuck, man I don’t know how you drink wine, my head is killing me.” Gojo groaned as he walked into the kitchen. “Wanna order breakfast?” He continued to speak as he reached into the fridge.

“Uh im not really hungry right now.” You awkwardly walked away from him. However as you sat down on the couch and stared at your feet, you decided, ‘maybe I should go to the gym. I’ve put on some happy weight, Gojo was right.’

So everyday at 3, you’d disappear. You did NOT want Gojo knowing you were going to the gym just because he made you feel insecure.

Along with going to the gym, you’d began to diet yourself pretty strictly. Strict enough to where you didn’t drink anything but water, and that included wine. Your favorite.

It was 3 o’clock, and on the dot you were at the door ready to leave. However, Gojo had stopped you this time. “Baby where are you going?”

“Uh, I have to run some errands.” Awkwardly you turned away from and grabbed your keys.

“I can come with you, we haven’t really hung out much… I mean we haven’t even binged a show w forever snacks in so long.” Gojo frowned, looking down at you with a glint of worry in his eyes.

“I’ve just been busy. You can have all the snacks you won’t tho babe, you look good no matter how much you eat.” You sighed through your nose, almost envious that he literally could eat anything and not get fat.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Gojo tried to grab your hips to pull you closer like he used to, but you pulled away.

“I have to get going Gojo.” And just like that, you left Gojo standing there confused as fuck wondering what happened. None the wiser that things he’d said previously was causing the relationship to slowly pull apart.

This carried on for a few more weeks. With strict work outs and diets, you dropped weight. A lot, surprisingly. But you still didn’t like you looked. You wanted to look just like that woman from the party.

You wanted your boyfriend to only look at you, to think that you were perfect and not stare at other women, look at you, and then literally fucking sigh.

However, this had caused some strain on your relationship. You two hadn’t had sex in WEEKS. You were pent the fuck up, and he was definitely pent up.

Gojo is def the kind of guy that hates to jerk off because all he wants is to be inside you btw.

But along with sex, you two hardly had meals together. And when you did, he was really the only one eating. You’d always always ALWAYS eat before. You didn’t want to tell him why you were doing this and what you were doing it for.

But Gojo was tired of this and he missed his girlfriend.

You were almost out the door once again, at exactly 3 o’clock. But Gojo was quick to block you from the door and lean against it so you couldn’t open it.

“Wha- babe what are you doing? I have to go.” You looked at your boyfriend confused. Your normal clothes looked a little baggy on you now with the weight loss.

“Where are you going?” His voice was little more stern. His face serious as he stared down at you.

“Out for—“

“For errands? Yeah right. You leave and don’t bring anything back. So let me ask again, what are doing when you leave?” He crossed his arms, his gaze turning to a glare.

“It doesn’t fucking concern you, now please move.” You were getting frustrated. You were missing your appointment with the trainer you’d hired recently.

“No. Are you cheating on me?” Gojo demanded. His own chest aching and his throat burning. What would he even do if you said yes? Self destruct? Most definitely.

“What? No! Your insane. Babe, I love you, but I have to go or I’ll be late.” You tried to move past him but he was not having it. Especially not when your phone rang and you quickly tried to silence it. Gojo was quick to snatch it from you tho and answer it.

“Who the fuck is this?” He glared at you the whole time he spoke, his knuckles white with how tight his grip was on the device. You were scared he might even break it.

“This is the trainer from abcdefg gym. I was calling to ask when (y/n) would be here, she is- ten minuets late.” The man spoke from the other line.

Gojo’s angry expression turned to one that was confused. “The gym? You’re her trainer— this doesn’t matter. She’s not going to make it today. Bye.” He was quick to hang up and put your phone on the counter before looking at you. “Since when did you work out? And since when did you have a trainer?”

“Why does it matter?” You glared at Gojo, feeling embarrassed.

“Because we haven’t hung out like we used to in forever! You don’t eat with me, we don’t have sex— which is fine! You don’t let me hold you in bed, and you won’t tell me why! What did I do?” Gojo begged, his brows furrowed as he gently grabbed your hands in his.

“— and not only that, but baby you’ve been losing a lot of weight too- I just don’t understand why your changing these things. Please just explain it to me.”

“You-…” you just sighed before pulling away from Gojo and sitting on the couch. “Do you remember when we went to that party a few weeks back?”

“You mean the one from a month ago? I mean yeah I guess, I was pretty tipsy.” Gojo shrugged before sitting on the sofa across from you.

“Yeah… do you remember what you said?” You awkwardly try to jog his memory. You felt so uncomfortable. But this was weighing on you and seeing how desperate Gojo was made your heart ache.

“I—…” Gojo paused, his memory slowly coming to him.

“𝘏𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵?” 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘮.

“𝘔𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴…, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘮𝘦, 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?” 𝘎𝘰𝘫𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘦.

Gojo’s face went pale. He stared at you for so long, long enough that you finally had to say something.

“Are you okay? Did- did you remember the woman?” Your heart broke a little more thinking that he had that expression because he remembered that gorgeous woman. Maybe he regretted not getting her number? Was he regretting your relationship? “Look, I need to go…” you murmured and got up, feeling dejected, rejected and so sick.

And even as you walked away, Gojo didn’t say anything. It was only until you’d even left that he blinked and started to say something, “baby, im so sorry- baby?” Standing up quickly, he looked around, only to notice your absence.

“Fuck!”

Should I do a part two? Idk I’m just sad rn. Y’all I want me a boyfriend- hell even a gf so baddd IM LONELYY 😭

[sobbingscripter]

Tags: [mlw][mdni][friends to lovers][oral (m! receiving)][couch sex][fingering][spit][deep throat][touching through clothes][anal play][leash][just the tip]

Kyle doesn't wanna admit he's having a good time, spending his Valentine's Day with his best friend instead of a romantic partner.

You're lounging lazily on the sofa beside him, attention on the screen of the TV while you munch absentmindedly on the snacks that are littered across the surface of the mahogany coffee table, your head resting on the armrest while your feet remain nestled in Kyle's lap while he massages the arch of your foot.

You're playing some stupid romcom. One of many that you found on some Pinterest list, and you're forcing him to watch it with you.

"Honestly, if I was her, and I found out I was part of a bet, I'd have set his hair on fire." Kyle comments offhandedly, his pudgy thumb brushing over where the frilly edge of your sock fails to hide the soft skin of your legs.

"His hair looks a little wet, though." You murmur with a hum. "I don't think it'd catch fire quick enough."

"It could be gel?" Kyle suggests. "Some hair gels are flammable."

"Nuh uh." You disagree with a huff, reaching over and grabbing your phone from the coffee table, before you open your Google, and your fingers fly across the keyboard at a speed that would be impressive if Kyle didn't know about your damn near crippling masturbation habits.

He knows you don't even do it because you're horny. You just get bored and you like to fidget with things.

"Yes, some hair gels can be flammable, particularly cheaper brands, so it's important to check the label and avoid using any gel that explicitly states it is flammable; if you're unsure, consult the product information or manufacturer." You read, your attention on the screen of your phone before you toss it aside, discarding the device.

"I thought because it's like... Wettish, it can't catch fire." You state with a hum, shoveling a handful of potato chips into your mouth and you chew, simply grumbling in annoyance when Kyle swipes his palm over your mouth to get rid of the crumbs.

"You know, gasoline is pretty wet. So is oil." Kyle mocks you, leafy gaze twinkling with amusement at the sight of your narrowing eyes.

"Technically, the human brain can't perceive wet, only cold." You respond, almost defensively and you feel the way his thumb digs into the arch of your foot, the sensation making your toes curl and a ticklish snort to leave you.

"That's bullshit." Kyle groans. "Where'd you even learn that? YouTube shorts?"

"Just because it's YouTube shorts, doesn't mean it isn't informative."

"Google it then."

You type, eyes narrowed and muttering profanities under your breath.

"The answer is no. Humans don't have receptors to perceive wet and instead, use the receptors of temperature and touch to create the illusion of 'wetness'." You read with ease, before letting out a snort of victory.

"Whose article is that?"

"Live Science dot com."

"See? If it doesn't come from Bill Nye's mouth, I don't believe it." Kyle dismisses you, his arms crossing over his chest and you groan.

"Shut up, and play with my feet."

Kyle continues to play with your feet, thumbs pressing onto the pads of your toes through the socks and he groans.

"Oh God, she's reading a poem about him now?"

"Kyle, you're ruining the movie."

"She should just kick his ass and get a move on. We're watching Monsters Inc after this."

"She can't kick his ass, Kyle. She's feeling complex emotions about how he makes her feel. It's not that simple, Kyehl."

There's a silence in the room before Kyle lets out a snort.

"Did you just call me 'Kyehl'?" Kyle questions you, amused, and his inky brow raises, tawny cheeks dimpled and the apples of his cheeks rise.

"Whatever, Kyehl. Just watch the movie."

Kyle lets out a huff of laughter, before his hands move higher, massaging the fatty flesh of your calves, fingertips digging into the muscle and pressing on the spots below your knees.

Before his digits lightly trace absent minded patterns on the backs of your knees, teasing the sensitive skin while his attention is completely on the screen. And you swallow, shifting a bit closer to Kyle and you can't really do anything about the way your thighs spread a bit more.

It's a tense, teasing game, entirely silent other than the sounds of romantic music that plays from the apartments around you, and the sounds of the movie playing. But neither of you are focusing on the movie.

Both just... Pretending.

His fingers trace patterns up your inner thighs, supple skin soft beneath his touch and Kyle's fingers ghost over the cleft of your cunt, the cotton shorts clinging to your flesh and goddamn, he loves that you don't wear panties after an everything shower.

Kyle listens to the way your breath hitches, and he keeps touching you.

Trying to test the waters as his thumb brushes over your folds, circling over where he assumes your clit should be and he knows it's there when your bottom lip finds solace between your teeth, brows twitching and cheeks tinting into a reddish hue.

And you swallow.

Hard.

Thighs spreading even wider, forcing the heart-printed shorts to shift, giving Kyle the most lovely peek at your smooth, glistening cunt. And he swallows.

Dragging his middle finger down your leaking slit before carefully slipping his digit into you, his hand shifting palm up and he crooks his finger, brushing against that gooey spot that makes your toes curl and your hips tilt in that salacious way.

Neither of you are focusing on the movie and it isn't long before the credits are rolling and Kyle's bodies looming over yours, his fingers fucking into your gooey cunt and your manicured nails are digging into his forearms.

"Shit, you're so good with your fingers..." You breathe out, your chest heaving and your eyes flitting between Kyle's, and his hand, the muscles in his wrist tensing with each pump of his fingers and you whine softly, keening into his touch.

"Yeah, I'm good with a lot of things." Kyle whispers softly, leaning over you and his lips press against yours in a sloppy, messy kiss. Your lips feel so soft against his. Pillowy and lush, melting perfectly against his mouth as your fingers rake through his hair, desperation causing your hips to move, trying to take his fingers deeper.

Harder.

Faster.

"You wanna show me what you're good at?" He offers you so sweetly, and you can't deny him. Not when his knuckles are kissing your slick and puffy pussy so gently, and definitely not when his tongue is tracing your ear.

˚˖����ִִ໋❤️་༘🎀˚˖𓍢ִ🌹˚.

"Fuck, how did you get so good at this?"

Kyle's barely keeping it together, his lashes fluttering with each heavy breath he lets out, his eyes locked on the sight of you with his cock buried in your mouth.

Your head bobs rhythmically, your eyes on his as you stare up at him through fluffy lashes and your lips are wrapped around him so sweetly, your tongue moving against the sensitive veins on the underside of his shaft.

And Kyle whines.

"Those fucking eyes." He pants, fingers threading through your hair before ultimately fisting at the crown of your head, and he forces your head down, encouraging you to take him all the way to the back of your throat and kyles head tips back against the sofa.

His hips jerking upwards to meet your throat, soft tissue wrapping around him like a wet and cozy glove, your nose tickled by dustings of dark hair and your bottom lip has drool and precum trickling down it.

"You're so pretty." Kyle's thumb brushes a stray tear away from your eye, the sensation of holding your breath for too long is getting to you and you nearly choke before Kyle lets you come up for air. And you pant, thick, nearly opaque saliva, dribbles down your chin in thick, slimy frothy gossamers and you groan, using your saliva as you wrap your hand around Kyle's cock, pumping him as you lick at his swollen head.

This has been his fantasy for so long.

Seeing you with your knees digging into the carpet, your eyes tearing and lashes wet with unshed tears, your lips glossy and spit-covered, and your saliva dripping down his cock like how water splashes down the sides of a glass too full.

And it's accurate.

He's too full.

Heavy and full balls press against your bottom lip as you swallow him, allowing Kyle to feed you cock like he's always wanted and he groans loudly, head falling forward before you come up for air.

"Fuck, you're so slutty for me." Kyle whines, his lashes fluttering and his fingers dig into either side of your face, cupping your chin and leaning forward to press quite literally, the hottest kiss against your lips.

He can taste himself of your tongue but that doesn't stop him from sucking on the wet muscle, nipping at your bottom lip before he straightens up, carding his fingers through his hair.

And he swallows, chest heaving.

There's no fucking way he wants you this bad. His cock's twitching, weeping beads of precum that lather his cock alongside your saliva and he tries to figure out when you got this hot.

When you became his walking wet dream and he hits a blank. Before taking another deep breath.

"Get on the couch and bend over." Kyle instructs, his voice breathy and a low husk that makes your cunt throb needily, slick clinging to the fabric and making it translucent enough for Kyle to see your pretty pussy when you bend over, still in your shorts.

And God, is it pretty.

Pretty, slick folds, puffy pussy lips and a slit that just doesn't stop oozing for him.

And Kyle shifts, positioning himself behind you as he drags the tip of his cock against the fabric, nearly fucking the cotton into you with the way he teases your needy, neglected hole.

Before he lets out a sigh.

"I can't stick it in." He cards his fingers through his hair, although, his hips are grinding against yours, his cock nestled in the crease of your fleshy globes, fabric moved to the side and he stares at you with pure need.

Pure desire.

"Huh..?" You whimper softly, looking up at Kyle over your shoulder, only to find him staring at you like you're the prettiest fucking thing he's seen in a good long while.

Admiring every part of you.

Creamy, fat mounds, pillowy thighs and a pretty pussy.

But right above it, is a pretty furled rim, pulsing for him and he spits down the crevice of your ass, enjoying the way your back arches and Kyle's thumb traces the rim sweetly, attentively and he swallows.

"How about here?" He asks softly, slipping his thumb past the right muscle, feeling the way you clench down on him. So nervous, so hesitant and so fucking sexy.

"My... ass?" You think really long, and really hard before making an executive decision.

"Just the tip, okay?"

Kyle smiles at the rule, and his hand moves to fist his cock, readying it at your virgin hole, and his other spreads the fatty mound further away from the other.

Kyle's ring glows.

A bright, emerald light that twinkles so prettily before you feel a weight around your neck.

A fucking choke collar.

And Kyle sighs softly, his tip slowly stretching you out as he tightens his grip on your leash.

"Just the tip, yeah?"

Taglist:

@lucky-beheaded 🌻

@anesthesia-4rizzle 🎀

@feral010 ✨

@blckbarbiedoll 🌷

@custardpuddingprincess ⭐

@couldeatthatgirlforlunch 🦄

@theamazkngskye 🍄

@titchx0 🦆

@sl4y-s4turn 🪐

@queen-of-gotham 🦇

[oh-no-its-bird]

I FUCKING FORGOT THE NEW ALIEN STAGE CAME OUT TODAY OH GOD OH FUCK I SAW IT COME UP IN RECCOMENDED AND HAD A FULL BODY REACTION TO IT PLEASEPLEAS PELSAE GO WATCH IT IM GOING TO FUCKING CRY IM GOING TO FUCKING THROW UP IM GONNA .

it was so fucking beautiful actually. I did not expect the bright spots of it, though maybe I should have. Vivinos has always been such a master of balancing fluff in a way that makes it hurt. And then the end . just. fuck. fuck. Oh my god. Fuck.

Spoilers below the cut, I am feeling many things and thinking many thoughts, so let's dissect this together:

I was so entranced by the beautiful visuals I straight up forgot to put captions on to get the lyrics for my first watch. But when it opened to Luka smiling so fucking genuinely, I almost gasped

The way he smiles when he first sees her is CRAZY, I am obsessed with it. Only pausing when a literal gun is held to his head, and even then, not for long

And then he grows so much more almost sweet and fond when she so blatantly ignores him. I felt like he was saying, "yeah, that's my Hyuna."

So like. Super strong opening to us seeing Luka killing off what I've seen others claim are his clones, presumably to make sure he can't be easily killed and replaced

I especially like this post by @kitespark talking about this bit and how Luka may have then ended up killing Hyuna's brother bc they looked so similar, and he assumed they were clones

LUKA'S HANDS !!! AS A KID !!! DID NOT HAVE PURPLE FINGERTIPS!!! We also see his hands when he's older, and he also does not have purple fingertips then! Does this mean he got them later in life, after so many experiments? That's what I'm not placing my bets on

The music itself was. Beautiful. As always, obviously, but especially so.

The slow, gentle singing that can be seen as both darkly comforting or sweetly assuring, the almost bell like chimes in the background, I loved it.

When it first shifted to Luka's voice, singing as Hyuna lay on the ground, I just about screamed. Their voices sound so pretty next to each other, I really like hearing them in contrast

Getting to see all these frames of Hyuna just surrounded by people in the resistance was so nice, actually.

I thought it was so well done, how we get to see her gradually get happier, recovering from her past.

Starting with a scene of her alone, drinking, before someone steps in (presumably to bring her comfort in company) before we start to see clips of her, each one with her a little bit happier, and each one with the lighting just a bit brighter, till we finally see her give a fully animated smile, even as we can see the silhouettes of those in the garden inside of her

She learned to smile !! Even through her grief!! She smiled even though she still kept them in her mind and heart!!!

AND THEN LUKA?? HAVING A (WANTED(?)) POSTER??? OF HYUNA ?? IN HIS ROOM??? AND HIM GIVING IT THE WORLDS JERKIEST MOST AWKWARD LITTLE KISS AFTER STARING AT IT FOR AN AWKWARD AMOUNT OF TIME, OH MY HEART !!!

The kiss is so sudden and jerky and awkward and it kind of looks like it hurt, honestly. Like, at first I wondered if it even was a kiss, but idk what else it would even be. Luka misses his girlfriend yall

There's actually so much to dissect of these short frames, tbh. Is this his room, where he is kept on a concerning amount of medical equipment, or is it just a hospital room he's been in long enough to be allowed to put things up on the wall?

And then we get to just. The happiness of the video. Which, by the way, kicked me in the fucking gut and stole all my lunch money. Like, holy shit you guys, what the actual fuck.

There's so much happening here, but in general I've seen two camps:

a) we are seeing glimpses of the actor au, where they are getting ready and into their roles and having silly fluffy fun times

and b, which is what I originally thought) We are seeing them getting ready for their death matches. Preparing costumes for the stage, hoping for the best. And just the lighter times they've gotten to spend together, in the garden

I'd like to believe it's both, tbh. That at first, we're seeing the lighter times they've spent together, getting their costumes ready, singing, running through grass, being kids while they still can.

A few flashes of other people too, in terrible situations but still smiling, showing that there is still joy to be found in this world

And then, a flash of violence-- Mizi, her face splashed with Sua's blood, and the music takes on this crescendo as it shows us this beautiful what if.

Some of the flashes are definitely some sort of modern au, a true what if.

Sua in a school uniform, giggling with a friend on the way to class, Till in art class, Hyunwoo and someone who's presumably his friend riding bikes through a glowing forest, Mizi laughing as she works on something, Hyuna and Luka dancing together on some sort of date (WITH WEDDING RINGS ON !!! WEDDING !! RINGS !!), a phone taking a photo of food better than anything the alien stage contestants have ever gotten to eat before (especially in contrast to the quiet lunch scene only a few images before, which may have been there to contrast it)

Other portions I read as more mis-remembered, 'if only the garden could have been brighter' moments (particularly the one of them cleaning that one aliens teeth, which we saw Till and Mizi terrified of in round 3) but otherwise I think can be seen as just more beautiful moments.

Running around, playing, having fun, laughing

At some point, towards the middle, I had an abstract thought that it was appropriate, to be posted on valentines day. For all that parts of it felt like a love letter to life. Seeing them all so happy, not only with each other but just being. Doing things they loved, being happy, living

I stg, I started tearing up. I love how well animated and bright this section was, you can tell they really said "guys we have to make this shit COUNT" and spared no expense. Everyone say thank you vivinos and qmeng !!

And then, of course, we hard cut back to reality. A quick glimpse of some remembered Luka angst, and we are on stage with Mizi again. Our last glimpse of happiness being Sua's smile.

What the fuck !!!

Ok so just. Everything about the next bit is so good to me.

Luka having eyes for literally nothing and no one other than Hyuna, even as a gun is literally held to his head.

The cutting back and forth between him stumbling blindly her way as an adult and as a child was so good. He has never had eyes for anyone other than her, and it shows

The way Hyuna runs for him, knowing whats about to happen even as Luka remains blind to everything but her, the way she spins him around to take the shot for him in a hug, which, BY THE WAY, THE FACT THAT LUKA WAS REACHING OUT FOR A HUG. MAKES ME INSANE.

LOOK AT HIM !!!! HE WAS REACHING OUT TO HER !!! HE WAS GOING FOR A HUG !!!! HE SAW HER AND RAN AND LITERALLY THREW HIMSELF INTO HER ARMS HE MISSED HER SO MUCH I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS ACTUALLY !!!!

Also its funny that it was the resistance guy who took the shot, I understand his thought process (Luka probably looked like he was going for his boss lmao) but then he ended up fucking shooting Hyuna instead.

I have to wonder if we'll get to see this guys reaction in the next video, I kind of hope we do. I feel like there's a small chance we might, in some like, corner of the screen we see Dewey grabbing him by his collar to shake him angrily or smthn

It's a small thing also, but I like how we also get to see the guy next to Hyuna react to Luka's blatant idiocy. Like, yeah he's being an idiot, and yeah people are around to see it. Idk, it's small but it just makes it all feel more real to me

^ this guy is all of us watching at home as Luka ignores the gun aimed at his head and runs for hyuna lmao

Also, Luka's hands are now colored in as purple when he's a child here, so that may have just been a coloring error earlier. So throw out what I said about his hands not being purple when he was young into the bin, oops!

So then we're back to seeing more flashes of life, and what we are given is Hyuna's grief, and Hyuna's fear.

A man, presumably some resistance member, dying as they cry and watch him pass. And then Hyuna, in the hospital.

The focus on her leg, and then the abrupt cut to what I think must be the moment that she lost it, then again a cut to the round of alien stage she lost (where she was supposed to have died) and another cut to her crying, scared, makes me think we're seeing a sort of rewind of her joining the resistance

Did she lose her leg in her escape from alien stage maybe? Either way, I like this shift from like, we've seen all these good memories of life, and now we're back to the bleak. Hyuna learned to smile, got to heal, but there were still so many dark moments too

Also: I don't know who this guy is, but he's cute and I want him carnally.

AND THEN JUST THE SHIFT FROM CUTE HYUNA AND LUKA TO HER FUCKING BLEEDING OUT IN HIS FUCKING ARMSMSSSSSS IM GONNA BE FUCKING SICK WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And also Luka's fingers are back to being not purple, so was it a miscolor, or...?

And then. Hyuna's speech. This is one of the very few times we get to hear an alien stage character just,, talk. Off the top of my head, the only time I can remember us getting that is My Clematis, the very first round of alien stage. And that talk was half exposition.

It's so well done, and just. Ag. Ah. A.

I dont even have the words tbh!!!

"I resented you so. I had to keep moving forward in every moment... But you were always my one and only weakness. (choking up) That's why I resented you so. Luka, live with love. Embrace the pain, the frailty, and live and the moments so unbearably shameful. Forgive yourself... Again and again, endlessly. because everything... begins from there.

I DONT EVEN KNOW MAN !!! WHAT THE FUCK !!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK !!!!

Hyuna admitting that even as she's always resented Luka, he has always been and always remained her weakness, and that is why she continued to resent him so much

Hyuna urging Luka to love. To forgive himself. To feel.

Luka, who we've always seen as untouchable, a man who knows how to play this game-- who has won it before and now plays with his opponents in order to win it again. Just, him tearing up. His mask cracking in the face of Hyuna's words, of her blood on her face (on his hands)

THE FACT THAT IT IS LITERALLY LUKA'S FAULT SHE'S THERE!!!! THAT SHE'S NOW DYING !!!!

Luka has always been blind to everything but Hyuna, and going with some interpretations of how we've seen him do dumb shit just to see Hyuna's face before (specifically when we saw him injure (potentially kill(??)) Hyuna's little brother, then smile up at Hyuna like he was just waiting for her reaction) it is. So fitting that this is how it ends

With Luka, once again blind to everything but the girl who can make him feel something, managing to kill that girl in his blindness

Fucking rip!!

I AM HUFFING COPIUM LIKE ITS PAINT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE HYUNA IS DEAD PLEASEEEE !! YEHA OK SURE HER LIGHT WENT OUT BUT WE WERENT SHOWN THE BODY IT DOESNT COUNT OK IT DOESNT COUNT SHUT THE FUCK UP

AND MEANWHILE MIZI DIDNT EVEN SEE HYUNA GET SHOT BECAUSE SHE'S STILL SOBBING OVER TILL'S CORPSE IN HER ARMS, FUCK

Anyways. Final thoughts.

This alien stage was. Wonderful. Beautiful. It may be my new favorite.

Every second of it was so well done, and I need to applause Vivinos for once again showing off that she knows how to make all of us cry by drawing her characters happy.

What the fuck, man!!

Anyways, I watched most of this without subtitles (and when I did watch with titles, I kept getting distracted by the pretty visuals and couldn't focus) So, I possibly misread/misunderstood a thing or two.

I'm gonna go watch it like 10 more times with subtitles on this time, then maybe realize smthn and feel regret, but, whatever

Go watch alien stage.

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

P.S I Love You, 2007

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x Reader

Word count: 4.3k

Notes: Haha surprise I wrote two, ngl this one is a LIL phoned in… anyway in other news my guy THIS MOVE MADE ME CRY SO HARD I was also on my period BUT I SOBBED

You can feel the blush blooming across your cheeks when his smooth voice comes from the phone. You jump a little, not really expecting him to answer which is stupid considering he answers all your calls

“Hey Y/N”

It’s literally so innocent like he’s just saying hello, but his voice drops an octave and you can just hear the smirk that asshole has.

“Hi Eddie, is Buck around?”

“Hmm lemme check” You can hear his feet shuffle as he does a little spin to look around…he’s not really trying and you know it’s because he’s lazy but you’re also like slightly delulu and what if he just wants to keep you to himself on the phone? What if like he wants to keep talking to you?

“No he’s not up here. Did you try calling him?”

No.

“Yeah! But he didn’t pick up… so you know, I called you”

“Mhm. He seems to not be answering a lot lately”

Whoops

“Maybe it’s the signal in the firehouse?” You try “or like maybe it’s just a his phone thing you know? Maybe he has it on silent”

“His phone is never on silent. As badly as we all would like it to be, he literally has that thing up full blast”

“God I know, and it’s just to mess with everyone else!”

“How he ended up with a sister as sweet as you I’ll never know”

Your heart completely just exits your chest, there’s no other way to explain the way it slams right out of you.

“Or as pretty”

You stare at the cookie dough in front of you, blinking slowly and trying your hardest not to flail and scream and melt and like probably throw this scooper right out the window. You continue to short circuit, hand frozen in the air and he chuckles

“You good over there Baby girl? Did you need help with something?”

“Huh” you sound dumb and you know you do and that makes him laugh again and suddenly the phone seems closer to him and his voice is smooth and just downright sexy

“I said, do you need help with something? Why did you call?”

“Cookies”

“Mhm… what about them? Use your words, Princess”

Window meet scooper. Jesus he’s laying it on thick. You fan yourself a little and adjust the phone in your hand

“I- Jesus I’m making cookies, I just- I wanted to know if everyone came in so I’d know how many to make you know?” You finally get out and take a deep breath. Seriously is it hot in here??

“Yeah everyone came in, why are you bringing cookies in?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day! I just thought it would be nice since you guys are all working”

“Huh, it is, isn’t it? I’d completely forgotten about it. Which you know… explains all the hearts and shit Buck has put up around the station”

“And the little bags of candy he made me help him set up last night? Did he pass those out?”

“He did, he did”

You roll your eyes at the phone and set it on the counter, putting it on speaker.

“You’re teasing me, you know exactly what day it is!”

“Just a bit” He laughs and you squeeze your thighs together dramatically “What about you huh? You got somethin’ set up for Valentine’s Day?”

You sigh and let the scooper drop into the bowl, you pull the parchment paper from the cabinet and pull off a piece

“No, I’m probably just gonna go to dinner with Buck or something, I think that’s what he wanted to do, Tommy told him he was busy”

“Oh” You hear Eddie suck in a breath through his teeth

“What??”

“He’s not busy, he’s gonna surprise him. We set the whole thing up”

“Oh! That’s really cute! That’s- that’s nice for them. He’s gonna love it, you’ll have to tell me about it”

The sentence is like okay a little rushed and you’re fighting to hide the disappointment in your voice because….there goes those plans but you know it’s still slightly there.

“You know…. I don’t have anything planned”

You perk up embarrassingly fast and clear your throat awkwardly

“Oh?” You say nonchalantly while you smooth down the parchment paper

“Mhmmm…”

He lets it trail off and you’re glued to your phone immediately. You put the phone back to your ear, while you watch your heart flop around on the floor.

“Okay,” you say awkwardly and he snorts

“You sound closer. You pick your phone back up?”

You roll your eyes and look up at the ceiling

“You know I’m just able to do that now, it had nothing to do with you”

“Yeah okay. It’s fine, I like it when you’re close anyway”

You get the scooper ready to launch into your second window when he clears his throat

“So if you’re not busy, and I’m not busy… maybe we can be not busy together? I figure everything is probably like booked so why don’t we get some takeout and you can home with me when you bring the cookies in?”

“Eddie are you-“

“Asking you to be my Valentine? I sure am Sugar”

You melt into a little puddle on the floor, like in cartoons and nod into the phone

“Okay, sure I’ll be your Valentine… what about Buck?”

“What about him? I’m just helping him out by taking care of his sister, he’d be so worried about you being alone. You know I expect a cute little card too right?”

You giggle and shake your head “You want me to make you a Valentine?”

“Oh a hundred percent, if we’re gonna do this we’re gonna do it right. I’ll make you one too”

“So…. Valentine’s Day with your best friend’s sister and staying in huh? Sounds pretty boring to me” You tease, and he huffs

“Sounds like a damn good time to me, wear somethin’ cute for me okay?”

You nod fast, unable to say anything even though he can’t see you, and you can hear the smile in his voice because he knows what you’re doing

“Good girl. I’ll see you later, gorgeous”

Eddie had been sweating that entire phone call.

It was so much easier to make you blush when you couldn’t see him flailing around and cringing at every single sentence that came out of his mouth

“Wear something cute for me?”

Hen looks at Eddie and he crumples onto the couch, slapping his hands over his face

“Shut up. God, please shut up”

“You did great! I told you she’d be your Valentine”

“Buck is going to kill me”

“I’m pretty sure he’s going to be way too occupied with Tommy to even think about what you two are busy doing”

“What if I fuck this entire thing up? Like what if she thinks I’m weird or something?”

“I highly doubt she’s gonna think that, she was eating up every word Eddie, it’s gonna be okay! Just remember what we practiced”

Eddie didn’t normally have anxiety, he doesn’t freak out. He’s always calm and level and thinks things through.

Except when it came to you. Because other freaking parts of his body wanted a say in things when it came to you and not just his heart, which he also frequently ignored.

He spends the next part of the afternoon lying on the couch with his head in Hen’s lap, where she pats his head and tries to reassure him and when it’s her turn to fill up the truck, Chimney replaces her and tells him about all the smooth ways he got Maddie’s attention. He also helps him make his Valentine for you, it's two poorly drawn stick figures with hearts around them in puffy paint. He wasn’t even aware they had those in the cabinets.

Is it… embarrassing when he knows the minute you’ve arrived at the station? He knows the sound of your shoes, his favorite shoes, it’s not weird, it’s not. Because Technically everyone around here has the same shoes so you know, someone with a different pair totally would make a different noise… especially if they were those shiny pink platform heels with the big pink bows on the ankle

He didn’t expect you to dress up when coming to the station and he’s not sure why, but now that he’s coming down the stairs to all the buzzing he can just see the top of your head and the cute new pink beret he’d gotten you for Christmas and his knees feel weak.

He sticks his hands in his pocket and walks over slowly. Remember, calm, cool and controlled, just like he’d practiced with Hen.

Buck finally lets you go and Eddie has to stop in his tracks to keep from freaking jumping you.

“What’s got you all dressed up?” Buck pinches the cropped pink cardigan you’re wearing while Bobby takes the tray of cookies from your hands and you glare up at Buck

“It’s Valentine’s Day! I just… I wanted to dress up, you know? Look cute…” Your eyes wander to Eddie when you say that and he bites his lip, looking away from you.

“You don’t think the mini skirt is overboard? Or this??” He tugs at the straps of your satin cami and you blush darker, pushing at his chest

“I’m a grown woman Buck. I can look cute okay? Especially for today”

“Okay but this- this is overly cute. I’m your older brother! Your flesh and blood! It’s my job to protect you”

“I’m adopted”

“I’m your older brother! It’s my job to protect you! Eddie go get my coat”

Eddie, who’s been staring at the way your thick curves fill out that tiny skirt and the way those little bows on your tights all face perfectly straight, you’d paid attention to every last detail and he wonders just how mad you’d be if he ripped them apart…

“Hello?? Earth to Eddie?? I need my backup here” Buck literally has his arms around you now, squishing you to his chest so no one can see you

“Buck!!” You squeak trying to push him away and Eddie rolls his eyes

“One coat, coming up”

He goes over to the racks, stopping in front of Buck’s before his eyes wander over to his own…

“Fresh from the cleaners” He tosses the coat at Buck, forces your arms into it and squeezes it closed over your chest and you groan loudly.

“Buck this is stupid!”

“No it isn’t! Eddie tell her it isn’t!!”

“It’s not stupid” He agrees, and your mouth drops open, “I think you look good in my coat”

You stop fighting Buck, who’s adjusting it on you to keep your bare skin covered and stare at Eddie. His tongue comes out to wet his lips and you hide your face in Buck’s shoulder

“See! There we go all nice and cov-“

Buck is interrupted by a call from Tommy, and Eddie comes over, taking your hand and tugging you away from him

“You want me to come outside?? Awwww can’t spend the day without seeing me huh?” It really doesn’t take much to distract Buck and he’s heading out of the station to go find his surprise, forgetting about you and your virtue.

“You know, I don’t normally agree with his fashion choices… but this?” Eddie’s hands snake around your waist, squeezing lightly and pulling you closer to him

“I think I like you in my jacket”

“I think I like being in it” You respond quietly and he grins and gives you a little kiss on the nose

“My shift is over in 10 minutes if you wanna go upstairs and wait for me”

You nod and he watches you walk off, his coat hangs from your shoulders and he can feel his pants tightening with every step you take.

Tonight was going to be interesting.

To say you look good in Eddie’s front seat is probably the biggest understatement of the century. After talking things over with Buck who literally shoved you into Eddie’s arms and hastily whispered for a rain check on Valentine’s Day and begged Eddie to hang out with you, you both eagerly sent him on his way.

He gave you the biggest hug and dramatically kissed Eddie’s cheek before running off to whatever his boyfriend had planned for them.

“So I ordered ahead, so it would just be a quick pick up” His throat feels dry when he speaks, and he clears it before reaching over and taking your hand in his, you gladly latch onto it and put your head on his shoulder

“Okay yeah, that sounds fine… oh! Wait!” You let go long enough to search through your bag and pull out a small card, there’s a glittery heart in the center that says his name in the middle and his heart slams into his chest

“You made that for me Sugar?” His voice is so sweet and you bite your lip, looking at it in your hands

“You told me to make you one so I did”

“You listen so well” He cups your chin and you melt into his hand, leaning into it he strokes your cheek with his thumb before pulling away

“Did you make me one?” Your eyes don’t meet his and he grins at your shyness, squeezing your hand

“Mhm, I did… I hope you like it”

He nods to the glovebox and you open it, giggling when you pull the card out

“Oh my god, I love it!!” You squeal and hold it to your chest “Eddie! This is cute!”

“You really think so?” He can’t keep the nervous edge from his voice and you turn to him and nod happily excited to reassure him

“It’s perfect Eddie! I love it” You look at the card in your hands and absolutely melt all over it again and he blushes even deeper

“I’m glad you like it, even if it’s a little silly I wanted to do it for you” He pulls into the Chinese restaurant and parks, he doesn’t get out yet, just watches you enjoying yourself and it makes his heart race

“Do you wanna come in with me?”

“Okay!” He helps you out of the truck and takes your hand again as you walk in together. The place is understandably busy and Eddie pulls you over to a little corner to wait, a girl comes up and asks for his name for the order and leaves again to go grab it.

“So how was your day?”

He pulls you into his chest and wraps his arms around you, you put your chin on his chest and he runs his hand over your hair

“It was good, I really enjoyed the cookie part” You giggle and Eddie nods along, listening to you talk about how you had to go to three stores for the specific new pan you needed, and that you almost ate it in the parking lot

He snickers and you whack his chest and roll your eyes

“Any freaking way… what about you?”

You settle into his arms and he just wants to throw you on the seat next to you and spread your legs. He wonders what you taste like… what kinds of sounds you’d make...

“Eddie?”

“Hm?” He mumbles and you stand on your toes and give him a chaste kiss on the cheek

“I said, how was your day?”

“Uh-it- it was”

Thank god the girl from earlier keeps him from sounding like a complete idiot. She hands him the bag and wishes them a happy Valentine’s Day

“Your girlfriend looks so cute I added in the chocolate fortune cookies!” she says with a wave and your cheeks light on fire

“Oh! I’m-“

“She does look pretty cute, doesn’t she?? Makes me want to get home even faster. Have a good night!”

He pulls you out with him and you hide your face in your hands and jog all the way to the car. Eddie laughs and follows after you

“Baby I don’t think that’s exactly safe”

“No. No, you let the car hit me! You take me out with it right now!”

His head falls back with a sharp laugh and he gets to the truck and opens your door for you

“You’re literally so dramatic”

“Your mom is so dramatic” You stick your tongue out and he steps into the truck and grabs your chin, pressing his lips to yours. You short-circuit and he pulls away with a smirk, letting his hand fall around your neck.

“Anything else?”

You shake your head and he kisses your forehead

“Good girl”

If you told Eddie that his day would end in having you on top of him on his couch and making out like a couple of teenagers he’d probably laugh in your face.

But here he is, running his hands over your sides and pulling you against him while you’re whimpering above him and slowly grinding your hips into his.

After dinner, he’d turned the lights down low for the movie, made sure you were nice and pressed against his side.

And then he put on a horror movie.

He saw how uneasy you were when he started flipping through the horror section and he knew he was on the right track

“You ever seen Friday the 13th?” He looks down at you and your slightly paled expression

“Uhhh no? No I haven’t…”

He can hear the nervousness in your voice and he grins wickedly before hitting play

“Oh cool, you’re gonna love it”

You most certainly do not love it. You’re about 45 minutes in and you haven’t come out of your hiding place in Eddie’s arms once. You can hear the gore on the screen and you jump every time it splatters

“Are you okay?” Eddie chuckles and you finally look up at him. His heart immediately tanks and he almost feels guilty when he sees your panic-stricken face

“Oh me? Oh, I’m good! Don’t worry!!”

God, you sound cute when you’re scared.

“You sure honey? You look a little…freaked out” He runs a finger over your cheek and you lean into it

“I’m fine!! Really! W-we can keep watching”

“If you’re sure…”

He pulls away again and turns on the movie and he knows you try so hard to be brave but the second Jason comes back on screen you shriek and hide right back in his shoulder. He laughs and pauses the movie again, feeling your body trembling against him

“Awwww Y/N” He turns to you and pulls away a little and you stay in your ball “Come on baby look at me”

You look up at him with little tears in his eyes and he can’t help but coo over you, he laughs a little and cups your face, kissing your eyelids

“You could have asked me to turn it off,” He tells you, running his thumbs over your cheeks and wiping away your tears

“No, no it’s okay I-“

You can’t even finish the sentence and he grins before kissing your forehead and nuzzling his nose against yours

“We can shut it off if you want to baby, if it’s too much for you” His hands slide from your face to your waist and he manages to pull you into his lap.

“I’m not a baby” You roll your eyes and he leans back against the armrest, appreciating the way you look on top of him

“I know you’re not”

“Okay so! I can… finish the movie”

He reaches forward and you lay on his chest, snuggling into him and he hits play again. His fingers trail down your spine and he’s actually a little worried you might make it to the end of the movie…

Until he looks down at you and your eyes are shut tight. He chuckles and pauses the movie again

“Hey…look at me Sugar”

You look into his eyes and he smirks, settling his hand on your lower back. He rubs your back soothingly, and you seem to relax against him

“You know… we seriously don’t have to watch this movie anymore. I can think of other things that could entertain us”

“Other things huh?” You say quietly and he cups your cheek

“Mhmmm…” he drags his thumb over your bottom lip and you blush

“Interesting proposal…” He feels your thighs spread as you settle on top of him and he bites back a groan

“I just really want to get your mind off of things… since you’re so scared”

“How noble”

He holds your hips and pushes you up a little higher so you’re fully face-to-face. You lean down and brush your nose against his and he growls and nips at your ear. You giggle and pull away again before leaning back down and kissing his nose

“It doesn’t have to be all the way… I’m not that promiscuous… but you know-“ He rubs your back again and you nod along with him

“Maybe we just make out?” You offer and he smiles oh so innocently, like this was all entirely your idea

“If you’d like…” He shrugs and you shake your head

“I would like, very much so”

And that was what brought him to now, completely spaced out in a world of your bliss and thoroughly enjoying the seductive way you tangled your tongue with his. How you dragged your tongue along his teeth, exploring every inch of his mouth while he eagerly did the same.

He keeps his hands splayed across your lower back, urging you to keep grinding on him. He nearly had a heart attack when you let him pull your skirt up around your hips so he could feel your tiny panties grinding against the front of his jeans. He moans quietly and that seems to spur you on, you reach between the two of you and shyly start to unbuckle his pants

“Whatcha doin’ there cutie?” He presses hot kisses down your throat and you shiver

“Just kinda wanna feel a little more of you I guess” You moan his name breathily and he reaches down with you, helping you get him out of his jeans. He unzips the side of your skirt and you let him push it down over your hips. He snickers and you blush, looking down.

“What??”

“These are cute as hell” he snaps the band on your g-string with the open heart on the front and pointedly ignores the fact that you’d apparently taken great care with your Valentine’s preparations.

“Is that all that’s cute?” You sit up, change the angle of your hips and let out a shuddering breath. He shoves his boxers down his hips and fists his cock, pulling it out of his pants and stroking it slowly. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head and he grins, rubbing his thumb over the tip and smearing his pre-cum over it.

“You looked so pretty today, coming into the station… you wore that just for me? Those fucking heels were just for me?” He’s panting as you both get off together, you grinding on his thigh and him jerking off to your bouncing tits

“It was all for you,” You say breathlessly and start to inch your way up his body. You place your palm on his chest and pull your panties to the side and he watches with eager curiosity.

It’s embarrassing the way he literally almost bursts right there, while you drag your clit over his tip and between your folds, and he can tell from the high-pitched gasp that you feel exactly the same way.

Your head falls forward and you moan in unison. He grabs your hips and helps you move on his cock, both of you panting and gasping, his cock catches on your hole with each thrust and you squeeze your thighs together and try not to let him sink deep inside you.

You scratch at his chest and he yanks you down against him, holding you to his chest. You squeak and let him crush you to his chest with each thrust of his hips, you cry into his shoulder and bite down and he growls into your ear

“I’m so close, fuck Eddie I’m so close” You cry for him and he plants his feet on the couch and pistons his hips against yours, you can feel his tip poking in and out of you each time and if you went any longer you’d lose your damn mind and put it inside you

Your orgasm hits you like a wave, crashing over you and sending you spiraling backward. You moan his name loudly and he’s got you locked into his chest as he growls out your name and finishes between the two of you. Your hips slip and stutter against his as he just keeps coming and coming and you’re left a soaked mess.

You blink back the stars in your eyes as you come down slowly. He rubs your back again, more so patting it as he floats back down to earth with you.

“Holy shit” You pant into his neck and he nods with you

“You can say that again…” He smacks his hands on your ass and you yelp “fuck could you say that again” He grinds your hips into his and you whimper, your thighs shaking.

“Holy shit” You whisper in his ear and he smirks, suddenly getting up and you squeak and scramble to hold onto him. He pulls away just enough for you to see the fire in his eyes, that dark cloudy stare that lets you know this was only the beginning.

“How does round two in my bedroom sound?”

[respectfulrebel]

I wish I was better at expressing my feelings with words so I could write you a love letter telling you how much I appreciate you sharing your writing with us. The emotions that you weave into every line?? The little pieces of you in every story?? That's what makes them feel soooo alive and makes me care about those characters so much that my little heart swells with love 😭😭😭

Let me start by saying that I appreciate you dividing it in 2 parts because, girl, I needed a break to process some stuff 🫠

Soooooo, I'm just gonna go ahead and scream about my favourite moments now, if you don't mind.

The way she moves, so gracefully and entirely unselfconscious. The way she leans into her friends when she speaks. The dimple that appears in her left cheek each time she laughs, the way her shoulders shake, the way her hair ripples with her movements. She keeps tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, but it refuses to be tamed.

Okay, I think I'M in love with her. Noah's great and all but I wanna know more about heeeer.

She's out of sight. But he can smell her.

🫠🫠🫠

It's the quiet patience in his expression, the almost tender way he waits, that has her putty in his hands. She knows she'll always be safe with him. It doesn't matter that they haven't spent more than five minutes alone together. She feels it in her bones, in the space between them, in the way he looks at her like she's the only thing that matters.

😭😭😭😭😭😭 he just adores her so much i wanna cryyyyy

She laughs, watching his frantic search with amusement. She has no idea that, at this very moment, Noah is contemplating death if he doesn't find it.

that made me chuckle, okay drama king lol 🤭

He waits, letting her adjust. When she shifts, just the smallest tilt of her hips, it's all the encouragement he needs. He moves, achingly slow, each stroke a deliberate act of worship, so careful it almost makes her go mad. A tight, desperate sensation builds in her chest, and for a moment, she thinks she might cry.

🫠🫠🫠🫠 I am so in love with the way you write sex scenes OH MY GOD

His thrusts grow harder, faster. Her thighs cling to his hips. Her feet hoover just above the mattress. Her nails sink into the inked skin of his back as the pressure builds, and he hisses through his teeth. His reaction is instant. He catches her wrists, gathers them in one of his large hands, and pins them to the pillow above her head. Her breath stutters. Then, without warning, he thrusts deep. Take me. A strangled cry tears from her throat.

I was reading that part when my boyfriend asked me what I was reading so I showed him and he nodded approvingly saying "HOT"

Without thinking twice, he lifts a hand and brushes his fingers along the curve of her cheek, soft and reverent in his touch. This moment-the after-, this touch, it feels like a greater intimacy than anything they have just done.

I'm SOBBING at how soft he isssss 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Noah falls asleep with a hand resting on the small of her back, fingers curled over the curve of her ass, the other cradling the back of her neck, keeping her close as if afraid to let go, and his nose buried in her hair, just like he's dreamed so many times.

I'm gonna cry, this is just asdjfjdsksdkjshfkshfhshse AAAAAAA

"Really?" Folio leans forward, elbows resting on the chair armrests. "And why do you look like that? Don't tell me Noah isn't well-equipped down there."

OKAY, Folio has got me DYING. Literally the whole conversation and everything he says is just so funny. Honourable mentions:

"You really thought Noah had a whole-ass daughter?"

"Nothing a blowjob can't fix. Knowing Noah..."

"Hey, Sebastian! Say hi to your daughter!"

What a goof

🥺🤭🤭🤭🤭

"Got a little... distracted last night," he continues, gesturing vaguely with his hand. "Saw this girl, and, well... just had to follow her. I suppose I got carried away inevitably."

okay I saw that ;););)

She watches the horizon, the endless stretch of blue where the sea meets the sky, and the way the light dances on the water. Noah watches her. Her profile is beautiful, so soft. A picture of tranquility as she takes in the view, lost in the beauty of the landscape. There's something about the way she looks right now that makes everything else fade into the background.

Ok I love her :/ She has my heart :/

The book eventually ends in Noah's hands. He starts reading the novel, for real, and lets her explore the tattoos on his chest, stomach and arms, answering distractedly every question she has about them.

This is soooo cuuuuuuteeeeeee stooopp ittttt 😭😭😭😭 The whole beach thing with the sunscreen and the shoulder kisses and the freckles and the book was just AAAAAAAAHHHHH 🥺🥺😭😭🥺🥺😭🥺🥺😭😭

"It's hard to believe in anything that's not this moment, right now," he murmurs into her hair.

IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE IN ANYTHING THAT'S NOT THIS MOMENT, RIGHT NOW????????????????????? SOBBING!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

years of sleep — n.s. one shot

"She has always chalked up his teasing and looks to his naturally charming nature. Noah has always been boyfriend material—but never her boyfriend."

Noah and Reader have been drawn to each other for years, but have never dared to act on it—until a wedding and a one-night stand, in which their buried feelings are brought to the surface, along with some misunderstandings.

one shot ✨ noah sebastian x fem. reader words: 11.6k (it's a mini fic, let's be honest) reading time: about an hour it's divided in 2 parts so you can "bookmark it" at part 2 if you don't have time to read the whole thing in one go.

tags & trigger warnings: pure self-indulgence. two attractive idiots in love that don't know how to break the ice—until they do. misunderstandings. Noah has almost shoulder-length hair in this one. manbun!noah. angsty fluff, dirty talk, sexual content (implied masturbation, oral sex with both receiving, p in v protected). mentions of reader having a scar but no further explanation (implied past abuse but no more references to it). fluff, beach setting, noah applying sunscreen on reader, reader having a kink for noah's hair. let me know if sth else needs to be added. - Work inspired by this post by @defuckingthrone-dot-com - Honorable mention to @somebodyels3 for letting me use her butterflyclip-thoughts on this one 🦋

years of sleep — part 1 ☀︎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

It’s not the first time they’ve seen each other, but it’s the first time they’ve looked at one another from opposite ends of the room as if nothing else exists. 

They have known each other for two, maybe three years. Her friends are Noah’s friends, and by extension, they have become part of the same circle. Yet, despite the shared acquaintances, despite the countless gatherings and parties and concerts, they have never really spoken—never dared to exchange more than a handful of pleasantries, a few polite questions, and the passing comment about how great the show’d been before drifting away.

But there’s obviously something there. Something that’s always been. 

And tonight, they can’t escape what it’s meant to be.  

The wedding takes place at a seaside resort, where lush gardens stretch toward the shore, with palm trees everywhere swaying in the breeze, and a stone path that leads to an extensive beach. 

She first sees Noah in the hotel lobby. The space is crowded, buzzing with conversation and laughter. The moment their eyes meet, the world shrinks. A pull—subtle but magnetic—draws them in. And then, as if fate conspires to close the distance, Nicholas the groom, appears beside her and steers her toward Noah. 

Their greeting is brief, restrained. A formal hug. Fleeting contact. Her hello stays in his mind. Her voice is soft and sweet. Confident, too. And that smile? That pretty smile has him struggling for words. 

He wants to tell her she looks beautiful. He doubts he’ll have eyes for anyone else that night, not even for the two getting married. 

She wears a slate-gray dress, short and form-fitting, adorned with delicate rhinestones that catch the light. The thin straps expose her shoulders, her collarbone. There’s a necklace around her neck that could easily pass for a choker. The thought makes something in Noah twitch. Her earrings match the glimmer of it beneath the cascading waves of her hair. Her perfume, her scent… It unsettles him in a way he doesn’t fully understand. But, if he’s being honest, he doesn’t want to.

 He could say all of this to her, or he could keep it simple: You look beautiful. But he says nothing. Instead, he pretends to be interested in whatever Nicholas is saying to Matt, though he’s acutely aware of her gaze on him.

She’s just as aware of him—because, for all his efforts, he’s terrible at being subtle.

Noah looks devastatingly handsome today. A black double-breasted suit accentuates his lean frame, and for the first time, his brunette hair is pulled back into a low bun. It’s the first time she’s seen him with his hair up and there’s something about it that’s very attractive. So attractive that she has to turn around to avoid Noah seeing her nibble on her lower lip.  

As she looks away, so does he, letting Matt claim his attention. Alana claims hers, arriving in a stunning purple gown, effervescent with excitement. Her joy is infectious, so much so that, for a moment, she can pretend she hasn’t just spent the last few seconds lost in thoughts of Noah.

The venue is bathed in soft, ivory hues. Rows of elegantly arranged chairs line the aisle, their white cushions pristine beneath the glow of the sun. Sheer white drapery frames the altar, where tall glass vases filled with delicate baby’s breath and white orchids stand on either side. 

Noah stands on one side of the venue, positioned between Matt and Jolly. She is on the opposite side of the main path, nestled among the bride’s family and friends. She’s never thought much about marriage, but for the first time, the idea doesn’t seem so distant. She wouldn’t mind standing where the bride is now, as long as the man beside her is N—

She doesn’t have time to shake herself from the absurdity of that thought because, at that moment, the bride and groom seal their promises with a kiss. The room erupts in applause and cheers.

She dares to glance to her right. And as if drawn by an invisible thread, Noah looks her way, catching her eyes.

He’s clapping, like everyone else, but he stands out. He’s taller than most, impossible to miss. And then, he winks at her—a wink accompanied by a smile so effortlessly confident, so devastatingly attractive, that her knees nearly give way beneath her.

She’s in deep trouble.

God, she just hopes the makeup conceals the flush creeping up her cheeks. 

The celebration continues. The air is filled with laughter and clinking glasses. Music swells through the venue. The food is exquisite, the drinks abundant, and the guests are entertained. 

Despite the social nature of his job, Noah isn’t someone particularly outgoing and social. Rather, he prefers to keep to himself. 

But tonight is different. Tonight, he’s at ease, caught in the warmth of celebration, happy for his best friend. The air hums with good vibes, and for once, he isn’t the center of attention. He wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Not just because his friend is getting married, but because this day has given him something he’d never had before—an entire day and night in her presence.

The hours slip by, and frustration coils inside him. She’s right there, close enough to touch, yet he can’t seem to break the fucking ice. It’s maddening. He’s trapped in a dance of restraint. He knows it must be obvious, the way he looks at her, the way his body betrays every thought he tries to suppress. She’s the girl he’s barely spoken to, the one he’s only seen in fleeting occasions—yet he’s consumed by her. He’s been thinking of her for weeks, months. Even years, for fuck’s sake. She’s in his dreams. 

He’s dying to know her, to be near her, to hear the cadence of her voice as she talks about the things she loves and the ones she hates. He wants to learn her—her flaws, her habits, the little things. 

But more than anything, he wants to know the taste of her lips, the sounds she makes when she’s touched in the right places, the way she will moan when his hands and lips press on her skin and when his cock is buried deep inside her. 

He has to do something about it, and even though it’s been almost the whole day already, he’s willing to do it tonight.

As the others drink and the minutes slip away, Noah watches her. Discreetly. Intently. 

The way she moves, so gracefully and entirely unselfconscious. The way she leans into her friends when she speaks. The dimple that appears in her left cheek each time she laughs, the way her shoulders shake, the way her hair ripples with her movements. She keeps tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, but it refuses to be tamed. 

And he watches the way she blushes every time she catches him looking. 

When the clock strikes midnight, the dance floor overflows with guests, lost in the music. Neckties have been loosened, hairpins discarded. Jolly has long since abandoned his suit jacket. Matt sits at the table with a girl on his lap, whispering something in her ear that’s making her laugh so hard that even Noah is tempted to walk over and find out what the hell he’s saying. Nicholas and his bride have disappeared, and Noah smiles at the realization, exhaling a quiet laugh as he finishes the last sip of his champagne. Then, he’s back to looking for her. 

And he finds her. 

This time near the exit that leads to the garden, which is so dark and only dimmed by beautifully decorated lampposts with vine and white flowers wrapping around them. 

She stands at the threshold of the stone path, the soft glow from the lanterns casting a golden halo around her. The distance between them is vast—he’s at the other end of the room. But it doesn’t matter. They don’t need words to communicate. 

She blinks. A glance over her shoulder. 

And then she’s gone. 

Noah sets down his glass without a thought as he rises from his seat. His jacket is left behind—he likely won’t see it again, much like Jolly’s. 

He weaves through the throng of dancing bodies, mutters apologies, sidesteps laughter and swaying limbs, people kissing. The pulse of the music fades as he steps outside, swallowed by the stillness of the night and the back noise of waves crashing. 

She’s out of sight. 

But he can smell her. 

Burberry. Vanilla, rich and warm, laced with something darker, something almost sinful. 

He follows the scent. 

The stone path leads to a fork—one trail winds toward the beach, the other into the garden. 

He hesitates, pulse thrumming. Instinct takes over. He veers into the garden. 

Minutes later, he moves parallel to a stretch of resort rooms, their arched balconies overlooking the grounds. Streetlamps line the pathway. A sea breeze stirs the palm fronds, the leaves whispering secrets into the night. 

And somewhere ahead, she waits. 

It has been almost five minutes since she slipped out of the wedding hall. She leans against the wall of one of the buildings closest to the beach, the stoney surface pressing against her bare shoulders. Noah still hasn’t appeared. 

Maybe she misread everything—his looks, his winks, the tenderness of his smiles. Maybe she wasn’t obvious enough. Maybe the pull between them was only in her head, a trick of longing and circumstance. Or maybe it’s just the wedding, the romance in the air making her see things that aren’t really there.

Exhaling, she pushes off the wall and steps into the garden, rounding the corner of the small building. 

And collides with a solid chest. 

The impact is sudden, stealing her breath. Instinctively, her hands fly to the masculine chest for balance, fingers splaying over the firm muscle beneath the black shirt. His hands find her waist, steadying her, holding her in place. 

For a moment, neither of them moves. 

She looks up, and Noah’s almond-shaped eyes pierce trough her, dark but soft. The scent of his cologne—woodsy, expensive—wraps around her, muddling her thoughts. 

Under her palms, she feels the taut ridges of his abdomen. 

Under his hands, he feels the softness of her curves, the warmth of her body through the thin fabric of her dress. 

It takes everything in him not to let his hands drift lower—to her ass. 

Then, as if the absurdity of the moment catches up with them, they grin—two idiots completely and utterly lost in each other. 

A second later, Noah lifts a hand to her cheek, fingers featherlight as he tilts her face up to his. 

And he kisses her.

His lips capture hers, slow at first, testing, savoring. She melts instantly, arms winding around his neck, her fingers slipping into his hair. Even in heels, she must rise onto her toes to reach him properly. And this mouth—warm and insistent— tastes of champagne, a sweetness that only makes her hungrier for more. 

She barely notices when he presses her against the wall, steading himself with a palm on the wall next to her head.

By the time she comes to, she’s breathless, her lips are swollen, and Noah’s body is caging hers, his hands cradling her face now, his thumb stroking her skin. He watches her for a moment before his mouth trails from her jawline to the sensitive column of her neck, and when his lips graze that one spot—that spot—heat coils deep in her belly. 

She would have collapsed if not for the hand he slides to her waist, anchoring her, keeping her exactly where he wants her. 

“Let me take you to my room,” he murmurs against her skin. His voice is husky and his breath hot. 

He pauses just long enough, searching her eyes, making sure she knows that this is entirely up to her. Whatever she wants. Whatever she desires. 

It’s the quiet patience in his expression, the almost tender way he waits, that has her putty in his hands. She knows she’ll always be safe with him. It doesn’t matter that they haven’t spent more than five minutes alone together. She feels it in her bones, in the space between them, in the way he looks at her like she’s the only thing that matters.

Her answer is effortless. 

“Lead the way,” she says with a smile. 

Noah’s grin widens. He steals another kiss—because he can’t help himself—before lacing his long, tattooed fingers through hers. 

Without another word, he leads her away. Away from the music, away from the voices, from prying eyes. 

The walk to the room is hurried. Adrenaline and hunger run through their veins. Noah grips her hand, glancing over his shoulder every few moments, his smile impossibly wide, as if he already knows that there’s nothing that’ll change how the night will end. 

He barely makes it to the door without stopping midway to press her against the nearest wall, to claim her lips again, to let his hands roam freely over the curves he has only imagined. 

By the time they reach the secluded corridor where their rooms are, they are almost running. 

A strap of her dress has fallen, slipping down the smooth expanse of her shoulder, and just as Noah swipes his keycard against the door reader, he notices. 

“Wait.”

Two fingers graze skin as he lifts the strap, restoring it to its place. 

The mere brush of his fingers on her skin gives him such a sensation that goosebumps rise on his skin. Noah holds her gaze for a moment. As he gets ready to open the door, her hands curl into the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to her. Her mouth meets his in a kiss so deep, so hungry, that Noah nearly forgets himself, nearly forgets where they are, forgets that anyone could walk by and see him stripping her bare against the cool marble hallway floor and making love to her. 

Somehow, through sheer willpower, he manages to open the door and push her inside, barely breaking contact with her lips. 

Inside, he fumbles for the bedside lamp, bathing the room in a light cozy glow. 

She’s already pulling the hairband from his hair, letting the strands fall loose around his face. She threads her fingers through them. She doesn’t know what shampoo he uses but his hair smells like paradise.

Everything is messy. Desperate. A little awkward. 

And yet, within seconds, they are standing at the center of the room, facing the untouched bed.

She pauses, chest rising and falling, one hand at the nape of his neck, the other resting lightly on his chest. 

She looks around. His belongings are neatly arranged, each item in its proper place. The small details confirm everything she already suspected about him—Noah is meticulous. Even in chaos, he is composed. He’s perfect, and the hand on his hip, delicate and supportive, adoring but never crossing the line, confirms it too.

He’s waiting for her to say something, so his heart almost skips a beat when she slides to her knees on the floor. Heels still on. Her hands on his belt. 

Noah lets her unbuckle it. Fingers move with precision, making quick work of the button and zipper of his slacks. His shirt is next—he unbuttons it, but leaves it open, exposing tattooed skin, muscle, inked lines she clearly wasn’t prepared for.

She inhales sharply.

A near-moan escapes her lips at the sight of him, and Noah smirks.

He would have teased her for it—would have taken his time letting her explore—but then she tugs down his pants.

Her breath catches.

The outline straining against his black Calvin Klein boxers is… larger than she expected.

He watches the moment she processes it, sees the way her pupils dilate, the way her tongue peeks out to wet her lips.

She flicks her gaze up at him, seeking confirmation, blinking once—twice—before curling her fingers around the waistband of his boxers.

And when she pulls them down, Noah is the one exhaling sharply. 

She doesn’t break eye contact.

And when she finally moves forward, Noah knows—he’s done for.

She licks him from the base to the tip. She takes her time, savoring him and entertaining herself just enough to make him shudder. She revels in his reaction before enveloping him in the warm, wet heat of her mouth and taking him on the ride of his life. 

For the first few moments, Noah doesn’t know what to do with himself. He throws his head back and lets out a guttural sound as she takes him deeper, the suction sending jolts of pleasure straight to his core. His muscles tense, his hands flex at his sides, his breath starts coming in in ragged gasps.

His fingers twitch before finding their way into her hair, threading through the silky strands as he cradles her head and looks down at her. Such a good girl.

She looks so focused. He strokes her scalp gently, then guides her back and forth, his control unraveling with every flick of her tongue, every hollow of her cheeks. That’s it. Keep going. A vein bulges at his neck as he struggles to keep himself in check. 

“That’s... Yes. God, sweetheart.”

The sight of her, those lips stretched around him, eyes flickering up to watch his reaction… 

With a sharp breath, he forces himself to pull away, already mourning the loss of her warmth. He runs a thumb over her lower lip, and she catches it between her teeth, nibbling at it. The action makes him laugh—a deep, throaty sound. 

He offers his hand, and she takes it, rising to her feet. Without hesitation, she slides the straps of her dress down her shoulders, letting the fabric slip past her curves and pool at her feet. 

She’s not wearing a bra, and the thong she wears is nothing more than a whisper of lace, a mere suggestion of modesty. 

Noah eats her up with his eyes.

Before he can reach for her, she turns, climbing onto the bed, moving like a kitten. She pauses on all fours to look at him over her shoulder with a coy smile that makes his stomach clench. 

Noah swallows hard. He’s about to lose it. 

When she shifts to sit back, reaching for her heels, he stops her with a touch.

“Let me.”

He pulls his underwear and pants back up before kneeling at the edge of the bed. His grip tender as he slides her shoes off, pressing a kiss to the skin of her ankle. The care in his touch makes her pulse race. It’s so gentlemanly. She’s never felt so cherished. So lucky.

Her underwear comes off next. The weight of Noah’s eyes on her feels heavy, but it makes her feel safe anyway. She wants him. 

She reclines against the pillows, stretching out languidly. She parts her legs. Noah stands there for a breath, taking her in. Her confidence only deepens his hunger. 

He sheds his clothing and shoes and joins her, covering her body with his without yet touching. His fingers trail up her cheeks, his eyes searching hers. 

“Where do you want me?” he murmurs. 

“Anywhere you wish to be.”

He laughs and she trembles under him, loving the sound. 

That’s easy, he thinks. I’m already in bed, with you.

Still, he takes his time, kissing his way down her body, savoring every inch. Loving how the necklace wraps around her neck. He spends needed time on her breasts, playing with her nipples, his tongue circling, lapping. He looks up to see her lips parted and her eyes intently on him. She still not making any sound. Not yet. 

When his hand slides down her ribcage, he notices an old, ugly scar, just beneath her left breast. He also notices the way she stills. He takes one look at her, then kisses the scar without saying anything else and moves on. 

He worships her belly, dips his tongue into her navel, nibbles at her hip bones. 

He leaves the bed only to sit back on his heels on the carpeted floor. He searches for his hairband discarded earlier. When he finds it, he ties his hair up again, the sight alone enough to make wetness pool between her legs.  

Without warning, he pulls her toward him by the ankles. 

A gasp escapes her as he buries himself between her thighs.

There it is. 

His tongue parts her, teasing. He tastes her like a man starved, and it’s the truth—he’s been starving for her for years. His hands grip her hips, holding her in place as she starts to writhe beneath him.

She makes another sound. A soft, breathy moan. Then another. And another. 

It’s the sweetest, most erotic music he’s ever heard, and it only makes him more relentless. He keeps on sucking. He doesn’t stop, not until she’s trembling under him, clutching the sheets, her thighs quivering around his head. 

“Beautiful,” he says. 

She’s still catching her breath when she peeks up at him from beneath heavy lids, her cheeks flushed and lips dry and slightly parted. The sight makes him chuckle, the sound so laced with affection that it envelops her as if the sound of it alone was a comforting blanket. 

“Condom?” she asks when she regains some stability in her breathing. 

Noah blinks, nodding as he starts looking around and rummaging through his things. 

“I’ve got one… just give me a—” He curses under his breath, shoving aside his clothes. She watches him move around the room naked, cock hard. “Fuck. I know I have one… somewhere.”

She laughs, watching his frantic search with amusement. She has no idea that, at this very moment, Noah is contemplating death if he doesn’t find it. But then he spots it. He tears open the packet and rolls it onto him. He exhales sharply, running a hand through his still tied hair but pushing a lose strand back. “Sorted,” he mutters, positioning himself over her on the bed. 

She slides a hand behind his neck, drawing him closer. 

“Come here,” she demands softly. 

And God help him, he does.

She unties his hair, again, freeing the brunette strands to cascade over his forehead. Her fingers slide through the locks, and at the same moment, he pushes into her, slow and deep. 

A gasp catches in her throat as she stretches around him, heat and wetness engulfing every inch of him. 

He feels fuzzy. It’s unbearable, exquisite. His eyes are locked onto hers, and for a breathless second, they simply exist. A moan spills from his lips at the exact moment one escapes her, their voices melding in perfect synchrony.  

It’s better than he ever imagined.

It’s better than she ever imagined. 

He waits, letting her adjust. When she shifts, just the smallest tilt of her hips, it’s all the encouragement he needs. He moves, achingly slow, each stroke a deliberate act of worship, so careful it almost makes her go mad. A tight, desperate sensation builds in her chest, and for a moment, she thinks she might cry. 

She has imagined herself under his body many times. Too many to admit. She has touched herself in the quiet of night, fingers slipping between her thighs, wondering what it would feel like to take him this way, to feel his hardness inside her, the delicious weight of him pressing her into the mattress. To experience the solid heat of his body, his pubic bone against hers, the muscles of his stomach flexing against her own, his breath coming in broken gasps against her lips as he steals kisses whenever he can. 

Reality is nothing like she imagined. 

It’s a thousand times better. 

Noah is heavy and much bigger than she is, but instead of feeling smothered by his weight, she feels enveloped in a delicious embrace that promises to take her all the way to paradise, if she’s not already in it. 

His pace is controlled. The way he moves over her, the way he looks at her, with a little wrinkle between his eyebrows that says he’s being a victim of this delicious torture too, the way his hands touch her body, cling to her... 

His thrusts grow harder, faster. Her thighs cling to his hips. Her feet hoover just above the mattress. Her nails sink into the inked skin of his back as the pressure builds, and he hisses through his teeth. His reaction is instant. He catches her wrists, gathers them in one of his large hands, and pins them to the pillow above her head.

Her breath stutters.

Then, without warning, he thrusts deep.

Take me.

A strangled cry tears from her throat.

Noah’s rhythm shifts, urgency overtaking restraint. His movements become frantic, driven by something raw and insatiable, and she matches him, meeting every thrust, begging for more. A bead of sweat rolls down his temple. She can feel the heat of him everywhere—his sweaty skin against hers, his breath hot and labored against her lips, his body relentless in its pursuit of ecstasy. 

If she thought he was handsome before, it’s clear she hadn’t seen him fucking her, covered in sweat and lost in the decadent dance his body is dancing with hers. 

“I’m going to come,” he warns when he knows his release is imminent, voice rough and desperate. 

She feels a rush of satisfaction so intense it nearly tips her over the edge. She wants to prolong this, stretch it into eternity, but she also wants to see him break. She wants to watch him fall apart. See his expression when it happens. 

         Noah is holding on by a thread. He thinks about how once he comes, he’s going to get her to follow him, and then he wants to hold her and have her fall asleep in his arms. In the morning, he wants to see her wake up, blink up at him through sleepy eyes, wants to see her make up-free, in the first light of dawn.     

Fuck, he’s in so deep. And not just physically.

As he teeters at the edge, he refuses to go alone. He slides a hand between them, finding the swollen bundle of nerves that will send her spiraling with him. His fingers work, and within seconds, she is there, climbing, soaring, shattering. The orgasm is scorching. Noah practically roars against her shoulder, biting her without intending to, but she seems to like it, because the moment his teeth sink into her shoulder, she tenses around him. He is still spasming, releasing himself into the condom, when she trembles, arches, and suddenly moans loudly and prolonged. 

She is coming and squeezing him, every last drop. 

His arms hold her against him, crushing her to him as they both tremble through the aftershocks. She can feel the erratic thump of his heart against her chest. He can feel the sweat of her skin clinging to his. 

They feel...at home. 

Noah tilts his head to look at her, catching on the red marks he’s left on her skin. On her shoulder. Clavicle. Breasts. Suddenly, there’s uncertainty flickering behind his eyes. 

He’s never done this—whatever this is. He knows it’s not just sex. It’s something more. Something that’s been brewing, growing beneath the surface for some time. 

She opens her eyes, lips parted, still catching her breath. The sight of her like this, so flushed and disheveled, so swollen from his kisses, hair tangled in wild waves around her face… She could easily fall for a nymph, ethereal and untamed, as if she belongs to the wild.

“Are you okay?”

Noah is surprised, for it is not him asking the question, but her. He almost laughs. 

“I’m fine,” he assures her. 

Without thinking twice, he lifts a hand and brushes his fingers along the curve of her cheek, soft and reverent in his touch. This moment—the after—, this touch, it feels like a greater intimacy than anything they have just done.

Her lips touch the line of his jaw, nuzzling against the faint stubble that has already begun to shadow his skin. He shaved that morning, but the roughness is there, and she loves it. 

His kisses are different now—ghostly, soft and quiet. They make her heart grow wings and flutter. 

Noah pulls away with obvious reluctance, murmuring something about taking care of them. She watches as he slips from the bed, and the moment he is gone, she feels the loss of him like a physical ache. Still, she gathers herself enough to ask him to open the sliding doors to the ground-floor balcony. Noah obliges, and when he does, the distant murmur of laughter and music drifts from the garden, a reminder that the rest of the world still exists beyond this room. 

When he returns, he is utterly, shamelessly naked. He moves with the confidence of someone at home, still just as devastating and delicious as he was that morning, when he was wrapped in a tux and his hair was pulled into a perfect man bun.

She wants to keep Noah for herself. Forever. 

He holds a damp hand towel, hesitating only a moment as he approaches the mattress and murmurs, “May I?”

She nods. 

The first touch of warm cloth against her oversensitive skin makes her shudder. He is careful, tender in a way nobody has ever been with her. She holds her breath. She’s never been cared for like this. 

Minutes later, he stands beside the bed, still naked, hesitating. 

She watches him, her knees drawn up, an arm draped loosely over her chest. A cool breeze filters through the open door, rustling the curtains. Salt and water. 

“Stay,” Noah says, his voice almost tentative. “Please? I promise I don’t snore.”

She has to laugh. He’s so adorable. She nods. 

Relief floods his face as he climbs in beside her, tugging the sheets over them. She curls against him instinctively, pressing her face into the warm space between his shoulder and neck. 

Noah smells of sex and that masculine stench that is every man’s own. If only she knew that he is inhaling her too... And that, deep inside, he wants to wake up with his nose in her hair and her naked body clinging to him all the mornings he has left.

They talk for a while in hushed voices, the adrenaline still pulsing through them. He asks about her favorite food and her favorite flowers. She asks about his hobbies. About his job—what’s the best and worst of it. He mentions martial arts, and she hums, intrigued, and not-so-subtly lets her hands explore his biceps, his thighs, all tattooed, confirming what she already knew. He is strong, but beneath all that muscle, there is softness too. 

She falls asleep half on top of him. 

Noah falls asleep with a hand resting on the small of her back, fingers curled over the curve of her ass, the other cradling the back of her neck, keeping her close as if afraid to let go, and his nose buried in her hair, just like he’s dreamed so many times. 

When she wakes up, her cheek is pressed against something firm yet solid and comfortable. It takes a few seconds for reality to settle around her, her mind still tangled in the haze of sleep. The first thing she registers is the faint soreness between her legs. For a moment, her heart leaps in her chest in surprise, but then she becomes aware of the calm that envelops her, of the warmth and security she feels. Of the arm around her, pressing her tenderly against the male body lying on the bed. 

She lifts her head, and there he is. Noah fast asleep. His breathing slow and steady, lips slightly parted revealing just a hint of his teeth. A stray lock of hair has fallen over his cheek, and before she can think better of it, she reaches out and brushes it aside. 

Noah is a handsome man, but like this, with his guard down, his face relaxed, his body molded against her—he’s breathtakingly beautiful. 

Surrendering to temptation again, she’s about to kiss him and wake him up, steal the first drowsy moments of his morning, when a vibration hums from the nightstand on his side. 

The screen of his phone lights up, and her eyes are instinctively drawn to it. Half draped over his chest, she reaches out just to check the time, but the moment she picks it up, a notification banner flashes across the screen.  

LILIPUTH 👶🏼 "Hey! Mom wants to know if you can pick me up Friday instead of Saturday. She’s busy Saturday morning, so she’d rather drop me at the airport Friday. She says to hurry up because we’re already late, and flights are super expensive! Also, she kinda thinks you should pay for them... but don’t tell her I said that! See you soon!

She frowns. She processes the message. What it means, or what it could mean. 

“Mom says”?

Liliputh and a baby emoticon?

“Pick me up”?

He should’ve paid for flight tickets?

Her stomach twists.

The phone nearly slips from her grasp as the words sink in. 

Fuck.

Is Noah married?

Divorced?

Does he have...a child? Because that sure as hell sounds like a whole lot of parental responsibilities.

She’s holding her breath. Her mind scrambles to piece together a puzzle she wasn’t expecting, one she wasn’t even aware existed. 

And it’s not that he’s done anything wrong. It’s not that he’s lied. 

But she hadn’t thought about Noah having a life before her. A life this big. 

Panic swells in her throat. She realizes she’s laying on top of him sideways, her breasts pressing against his tatted chest. She’s panicking. She no longer feels comfortable or safe in his arms. The sheets feel more like a trap rather than a cocoon of safety. She needs air. She needs space. She needs to get out. 

It takes her less than two minutes to slip out from his arms, gather her clothes, and make it to the door in last night’s dress, barefoot, heels in hand. She doesn’t look back. Her bare feet move silently against the floor. Once she reaches the hallway, she presses her back against the door, heart slamming wildly against her ribs. 

She doesn’t want to leave. 

She wants to stay.

To crawl back into bed, to wake up tangled in his limbs, to feel the weight of his body over hers, his scent. She wants to hear his voice in the morning—sleep-rough and drowsy, whispering the same sinful things he murmured to her in the dead of night when she had been sleeping with her head on his bicep and he’d made love to her again, slow and deep, from behind her. He had first teased her with the tip, kissing her shoulders and neck. A minute later, they were slowly making love, his hand entwining her fingers over her breasts, his hot breath on the back of her neck.

“Can’t tell you how many times I’ve touched myself thinking of you—of this.” 

He’d been so attentive and hot the entire night, guiding her as he told her to fuck him, to rock herself against him, to use him… so tuned in with her as he talked her through her orgasm, encouraging her to make a mess on his cock…

She feels... confused and disoriented. In her head, she’s spent years with this perfect idea of Noah, of who he is, of how wonderful it would be to be with him... and suddenly, a simple message destroys all of that. 

It’s not a message. 

It’s reality.

The rest was her fantasy. Her fault. 

The things he had said to her during the night echo in her head. The perfect Noah and the perfect life she had created around him was nothing but an illusion, and now it had shattered, and with it her heart.

years of sleep — part 2 ☀︎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Three hours later, late summer morning, the resort is buzzing with life. Most of the guests, primarily wedding attendees, have slept in, recovering from a celebration that lasted into the early hours. Others have been up since dawn, making the most of their vacation.

She sits at one of the poolside lounge tables, fingers idly tracing the rim of a half-empty glass of orange juice. Sunglasses shield her eyes, and though she’s showered and changed into a simple pastel blue sundress, she still feels the weight of the night lingering in her bones. 

Nicholas and his new wife must already be enroute to their honeymoon destination. Meanwhile, she’s stranded at this oceanside resort, three hours from Los Angeles, until tomorrow. 

And she has no idea how she’s going to spend the next twenty-four hours. 

In her mind, last night should have led to something different—a different chain of events, a different morning, a different future. She had pictured waking up in Noah’s arms, spending the day tangled up in him, stealing kisses between lazy moments and sunlit swims, and ending the night with slow walks along the beach under the stars…

But now, it’s painfully clear that none of that is going to happen. 

“And that long face on such a sunny morning?”

Davis’s voice cuts through her thoughts, drawing her attention to the walkway leading toward the parasol-covered tables. 

She forces a smile, slouching slightly in her chair in an attempt to appear more relaxed. She doesn’t want to bring anyone else down. This is supposed to be a happy day. Everyone else is happy. She refuses to ruin that. 

“Hungover?” Davis tilts his head, eyeing her. 

The way he asks makes her laugh, though the sound feels hollow. He’s swapped last night’s suit for white Bermuda shorts and a floral short-sleeve button-up. He’s really embracing the beach resort vibes. 

“Something like that,” she replies. Though the truth is that, despite sleeping late and being woken up at 4am for another round of sex, she slept soundly. 

“That makes two of us,” another voice chimes in. 

Folio drops into the chair beside her, a beer already in hand. She refrains from commenting on it. He’s dressed similarly to Davis, a backward cap covering his messy hair. 

“Well, you don’t look like it,” Davis notes. 

“That’s because I never hit the bed in the first place,” Folio grins. 

“You didn’t sleep?” Davis guesses. 

“Nope. Figured I’d just keep the party going. Took a swim at sunrise. Man, that’s an experience.”

The two launch into a conversation about his early-morning adventures and order some fruit and pancakes to be brought to the table. Eventually, they notice how quiet she is. 

“What’s with you?” Davis asks through a mouthful of blueberries. “Haven’t slept either?”

Folio smirks. “Or did someone keep you up all night?” He wiggles his eyebrows, his gaze dropping pointedly to the red blotches on her skin. Noah’s lovebites.

She barely reacts. She simply lowers her sunglasses and shoots Folio a pointed look. His grin falters immediately. 

“Oh, it’s definitely that. Who—?”

Before Folio can finish the question, Davis has already put the pieces together. 

“You slept with Noah.”

Hearing someone say it aloud makes it even more real. Her mind floods with images—Noah’s touch, the sweet and filthy things he said to her, the way he held her, the way he felt. Honeyed and intense.

She wraps both hands around the glass, lips pressing together. 

“Really?” Folio leans forward, elbows resting on the chair armrests. “And why do you look like that? Don’t tell me Noah isn’t well-equipped down there.”

She clicks her tongue, annoyed. “It’s not that.”

“So, he is. Is his performance not up to—”

“Nick,” Davis sighs.

“Okay, okay…” he puts his hands up. “Do we need to kick his ass?”

She hesitates, her fingers twitching, before finally voicing the question that has been gnawing at her insides since dawn. 

“Noah has a daughter?”

Folio’s grin vanishes. His brows furrow in confusion, then lift in something close to horror. 

“What?”

She looks between them. “Is he married? Divorced?”

Davis just stares at her, as if trying to understand where this is coming from. 

“You know Noah is single.”

“No. Actually, I don’t. I don’t know anything about Noah. Not really,” she snaps. “I only know what everyone else knows—what you guys tell me. He’s always the quiet one. I don’t know more than what I’ve put together from—from the way he behaves around me and with you guys. And none of you ever mentioned a wife. Or a daughter. Or—”

“Because he’s not married. And he doesn’t have a daughter,” Folios interrupts with a laugh. “At least not that I know of. Can you even imagine Noah married and with a baby?” He looks over at Davis, but Davis just shoots him a warning glance. 

Davis turns back to her with a soft expression. “Come on. You know exactly who Noah is. I know everyone acts like he’s this mysterious, unreadable guy just because he’s private, but the truth is, he’s exactly what you see. He’s quiet, yeah, but he doesn’t need to say much to show you who he is. He writes, he makes music, he lets go on stage… He’s the deep, poetic guy who likes to meditate in the morning and never really raises his voice. He’s thoughtful, maybe too much, and he appreciates life in that annoyingly profound way.” Davis huffs a small laugh. “Even if you haven’t spent much time with him, you know he’s single. The real question is how you two went so long without saying a word to each other when it’s obvious you���ve been pining for one another for years.”

Her heart stutters. “Years? What are you talking about?”

Folio rolls his eyes.

“What are you talking about? Everyone knows you and Noah have been into each other for ages, but because you’re both equally clueless or shy or whatever, you waited until Ruffilo’s wedding to finally do something about it. And now you’re coming in here all ‘Noah is a dad?!’ What the hell did you drink last night? Or more like, what did Noah do to you in bed?”

She groans. Before they can derail the conversation any further, she drops her eyes and mutters, “I saw a message on his phone.”

“A message?”

“From someone named Lily. Liliputh,” she specifies. 

Folio and Davis exchange a glance, and she immediately realizes that yes, there are things about Noah she doesn’t know, and they do. 

Folio cuts into his pancakes, spears a piece with his fork, and pops it into his mouth.

“Lily is Noah’s niece,” Davis explains. “His sister’s daughter. She’s twelve.”

She blinks. 

Once. 

Twice.

“Noah has a sister?”

Since when?

“Yeah. Older. She lives in New York. They only see each other a couple of times a year, that’s why he’s probably never mentioned her. He barely does to us, anyway. But they’re close, and I’m guessing Lily asked to come spend a few days in L.A. before school starts again, and Noah’s offered to take care of her.”

A wave of heat rushes to her cheeks. “Oh my God.”

Folio bursts out laughing, struggling to keep the food in his mouth. “You really thought Noah had a whole-ass daughter? And you thought he was divorced, too?”

She sinks in her seat. “It’s not funny.”

“No, but your reaction is. How many Hallmark movies have you watched?”

Davis, however, looks more thoughtful. “So… you freaked out.”

She sighs. “Yeah…”

“And Noah wasn’t awake when you saw the message, was he?”

“No.”

“So, you got up and left. Without saying a word.”

Her silence and the guilt written all over her face are answer enough.

After a beat, Folio deadpans, “You banged Noah,” he states. “And then you disappeared.”

She shoots him another glare, tempted to kick his shin under the table. “I didn’t disappear. I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but not in his bed,” Davis points out. “How would you feel if the roles were reversed? If you woke up after sleeping with him, and he was gone?

A knot tightens in her chest. 

Terrible. Used. Heartbroken. 

Guilt crashes over her, so heavy it makes her stomach churn. Good thing she hasn’t eaten anything… She bites her lip so hard she nearly draws blood. She needs to fix this. 

“Will he… be mad?”

David considers the question at the same time he savors a piece of mango. “Knowing Noah and how much he’s into you… he’ll understand. You just need to talk to him. Tell him why you freaked out. He’ll have a good laugh and later he’ll probably get you back into his bed. Problem sorted.”

How much he’s into me? The way Davis talks about Noah’s feelings is unsettling, like he knows something she doesn’t. Has it always been there, in front of her, and she hasn’t been able to see it until last night?

For years, she has lived off stolen glances and fleeting moments—content with fantasies rather than the courage to actually approach Noah like a normal person would. She always chalked up his teasing and looks to his naturally charming nature. Noah has always been boyfriend material—but never her boyfriend. 

Had she known earlier that Noah was pining for her, butterflies would have erupted in her stomach sooner. She might have finally gathered the nerve to walk up to him, to flirt back in a way that was more obvious to him about her feelings. But now, after abandoning him in that hotel room, she just feels awful. If she can’t fix this, she might as well walk straight into the ocean and let the waves take her. 

“Hey,” Folio squeezed her shoulder, snapping her out of her spiraling thoughts. His voice is suddenly surprisingly gentle. “It’s okay. This is not some huge, unforgivable thing. Nothing a blowjob can’t fix. Knowing Noah…”

Davis makes a disgusted noise, pushing his plate away. “Jesus Christ, man. How well do you know Noah?”

Folio throws his hands up again. “It’s a figure of speech, for fuck’s sake. What I mean is, Noah’s not the type to hold a grudge. And if there’s someone who can sweeten him up, that’s you. Talk to him. And if talking doesn’t do the trick… well, give him the look, get down on your knees, and boom—problem solved.”

She debates whether to smack him, but the absurdity of it all makes her laugh instead. Did she really think Noah had a teenage daughter? That he was divorced? She laughs at herself and internally thanks Folio, who always has a way of dragging her out of her head, whether she wants him or not. 

And much to her own frustration… she can’t stop thinking about what he said. 

If talking doesn’t get Noah to forgive her, she’ll do it on her knees and blinking up at him with her big puppy eyes. 

An hour later, after wandering alone by the sea for a while and going over the things she’ll say to Noah when she sees him again, she makes her way back to the hotel. Her sandals dangle from her fingers, her bare feet still damp from where the waves had lapped at her skin. She’s hungry, her body demanding a late breakfast or an early lunch. 

But more than anything, it’s her heart which is demanding. Demanding Noah, to find him, talk to him and— 

She sees him before he sees her. 

He’s at the reception desk, leaning on the counter, dressed in black jeans—in this heat, seriously?— and a white t-shirt. His hair is pulled into the same bun as last night, and he’s wearing black sunglasses. He’s chatting with the receptionist, a woman who smiles at him as she listens intently to whatever he’s saying. Before jealousy can settle in, the receptionist nods and disappears into the back room. 

That’s when Noah turns, reaching into his pocket for his phone, only to freeze the moment his eyes land on her. 

She doesn’t know what to expect. A flicker of irritation? Confusion? Anger? 

But not this. 

Not the way his entire face lights up. Not the way his lips stretch into a slow, easy grin, like seeing her is the best thing that’s happened to him all day. All week. 

“Hey,” he says. 

Her stomach does that thing. 

Hey? 

She approaches cautiously, hyper-aware of his almond-shaped eyes sweeping over her behind those black sunglasses. 

“Hi,” she greets. 

Silence stretches between them. For her, it’s suffocating. But Noah? He seems completely at ease, looking at her like she’s the goddamn sun. 

“Noah,” her voice betrays her a little. She fidgets with her fingers, taking a small step closer. “About this morning, I—”

The receptionist returns, holding a black tuxedo jacket. 

“Here it is, sir.”

Noah turns to her.

“Oh, thank God.” He exhales, taking the jacket and shaking it out. “Thought I’d lost it for good. Or that someone walked off with it.”

“Not at all,” the female behind the counter replies with a polite smile. “Anything else I can help with?”

Her eyes flick between Noah and her before Noah tells her “no, thank you” and she heads back to her desk. Noah drapes the expensive jacket over his arm. 

“Guess I shouldn’t be so careless next time,” he muses.

She frowns slightly.

“Got a little… distracted last night,” he continues, gesturing vaguely with his hand. “Saw this girl, and, well… just had to follow her. I suppose I got carried away inevitably.” His eyes darken slightly, teasing. “Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Can’t get her out of my head.”

She’s blushing, of course. 

And that’s exactly what he wanted—to make her blush. 

“Prettiest?”

“Prettiest,” he repeats. He takes his hand to his sunglasses and moves them up to his head. When his brown eyes fall on her, she feels that tingling sensation coursing through her again. “Sweetest. Couldn’t keep my hands off her,” he continues, knowing very well what he’s doing. “Guess everything else just… slipped my mind.”

Heat flares up her neck. Why isn’t he upset? Why isn’t he at least a little annoyed that she slipped out of his bed after hours of making love? Why does he have to be so charming to her when she deserves none of that?

“Do you… regret it?” she blurts. 

His brows lift slightly. “Regret it?” he echoes. He glances down at the jacket draped over his arm. Then he smirks. “I’d lose ten of these if it meant spending another night like that with her.” 

She bites her lip, grinning like an idiot. Like the idiot she is for assuming he was a divorced dad.Jesus Christ. She pinches the bridge of her nose, ducking her head to hide her flushed cheeks.

After a beat, he adds, “but preferably if she’s there in the morning.”

Oh.

“What about you?” he asks. “Anything you regret?”

She draws in a slow breath. 

“One thing, yeah,” she admits.

“Yeah?”

By the way his face changes, she can tell he’s suddenly feeling uncertain. Does he think she regrets being with him? That she regrets letting him touch her, letting him fuck her?

“I… want to make up for it,” she says. “So that I don’t carry this regret with me any longer.”

He watches her carefully. “Sounds like one you’ve carried for quite some time.”

She scoffs. If only he knew…

“Long enough to make a fool of myself,” she says. “But I’d like to fix it.”

His lips twitch, fighting back a smile. “You would?”

She nods, pulse quickening. She gives him the sweetest, most disarming smile. “I think I could. If you let that pretty girl spend another night in your hotel bed…”

Noah exhales. With his free hand, he reaches for her, his fingers curling into the fabric of her dress, pulling her toward him. Close enough that when he lowers his head, his nose brushes against hers.

“I don’t think that’s going to be enough, sweetheart,” he murmurs. She presses a hand against his chest—not to push him away, but to steady herself, to feel the solid of him beneath her palm. And, if she’s being honest, just to touch him again. “She needs to stay till morning. Otherwise, no deal.”

She decides she’s going to seal the deal with a kiss. But just as she tilts her head and parts her lips—

“Hey, Sebastian! Say hi to your daughter!” Folio’s voice rings through the lobby. 

They both freeze. 

Noah blinks. 

“What?”

She turns her head just in time to see Folio crossing the marble-floored lobby, a mojito in hand, looking far too pleased with himself before disappearing around the corner. Her face burns. Noah’s expression is one of utter confusion. 

“Is he drunk?” he asks. 

A small laugh escapes her as she drops her forehead against his chest. He still hasn’t let go of her dress. Her fingers grasp the fabric of his white t-shirt as her embarrassment melts into quiet amusement.  

“I thought you were a divorced dad.”

Noah stills. Then he’s lifting her chin with the bend of his fingers. “A divorced—What are you talking about?”

“I accidentally saw a message on your phone this morning—Lily’s message,” she explains. “I was just checking the time, I swear. And when I saw the message, I immediately assumed... that you were divorced. And that you had a child.”

He stays still for another beat, just looking at her. Then, to her complete and utter relief, he throws his head back and laughs. The sound is so warm and rich that it dissolves the last of her tension. 

“Thank God,” he says. 

“Thank God?”

“That you left because of that and not because I snore.”

“You don’t snore,” she assures him.

He exhales through his grin, his thumb brushing her chin. “And you’re adorable.”

“Pretty sure I’m just stupid.”

“Stupidly adorable.”

“Thanks,” she rolls her eyes, only confirming what he just said. 

Adorable. 

Her stomach betrays her then, letting out a low rumble. 

She groans. Seriously, can I catch a break?

Noah glances down at her middle with a grin, amusement dancing in his eyes. 

“Perfect timing.”

“Huh?”

“Now that I’ve got my jacket back, and I found the pretty girl I was looking for…” he pauses and tilts his head, “I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch with me?”

Like he even needs to ask. 

“I’d love to.”

“It’s a date, then.”

He offers his hand. She takes it, just like last night. 

They share a light lunch at the seaside restaurant of the hotel, which is located beneath a shade of swaying palm trees and cottage-like roof. The ocean stretches before them, glistening under the midday sun, waves rolling lazily onto the shore. The air is charged with salt and the aroma of grilled seafood, mingling with the faint sweetness of tropical flowers. 

Their table is a feast of colors—salad with citrusy vinaigrette, golden spring rolls, focaccia glistening with olive oil, and a selection of small plates. Conversation is effortless between them as the breeze rustles through the palm fronds and plays with her hair. 

They talk about everything. Food. Music. Work. He asks about her studies, and she asks about the book he’s reading. He makes her smile. She makes him laugh. She even offers him a bite of her plate and feeds him with a fork. They never mention the fact that last night she had his cock in her mouth or that he mapped out every inch of her with his tongue until she was shaking under him. 

After the plates are emptied and cleared, they stay, reclining in their chairs as the slow afternoon unfolds. The occasional lull in conversation is easy. It’s a silence that doesn’t demand to be filled. 

They sip iced tea later, enjoying each other’s company as the engulf in the refreshing drink. 

She watches the horizon, the endless stretch of blue where the sea meets the sky, and the way the light dances on the water. Noah watches her. Her profile is beautiful, so soft. A picture of tranquility as she takes in the view, lost in the beauty of the landscape. There’s something about the way she looks right now that makes everything else fade into the background.

Noah is in love, and he knows it. He’s been for a long time. He’s not letting her leave his bed the next morning, or any other for that matter. 

“Want to go for a swim?”

His question shakes her out of her momentary haze where she was imagining herself in the water, wrapped around Noah’s torso, being kissed under the sun. 

“What, in jeans and Adidas?” She jokes, giving his outfit a pointed once-over. 

Noah glances down at himself. “Yeah, good point… I’ll go get changed.”

She hums, pushing back her chair at the same time. “I’ll grab the sunscreen.”

They leave together, strolling through the resort’s sun-drenched pathways, holding hands. In the hallway outside their rooms, Noah keeps their arms extended and hands together before reluctantly releasing her. 

He should have kissed her. The though gnaws at him as she disappears three rooms down. 

It’s fine. He’ll kiss her when he has her in his arms again in a matter of minutes. 

They meet ten minutes after in the lobby. Noah has swapped his jeans for black swim trunks, his sneakers for flip-flops. His white T-shirt remains. a towel is slung over his shoulder. His eyes rack down the white bikini peeking through the airy fabric of her sundress. She catches the way his jaw ticks, how his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows. 

She shakes the sunscreen bottle in front of him. “Got it.” 

Noah takes the tote bag from her with a quiet smile, ever the gentleman.

When they step onto the beach, they walk a little farther from the resort’s main area, the sand cool beneath their feet as they seek out a quiet spot all to themselves. The beach is tranquil, mostly deserted, with only a few scattered sunbathers, the low season keeping it peaceful. They lay out their towels side by side. 

Of course, Noah suggests applying sunscreen on her. To her surprise, he’s again very gentlemanlike about it, asking for permission before he spreads the lotion across the curve of her ass. When she turns around and offers her chest to him, her nipples are visible through the fabric of her bikini top. He notices, obviously. But doesn’t say a word. When his fingers lightly access under the fabric and caress the curve of her breasts, she holds her breath. Then Noah pokes her nose, leaving a streak of cream on the tip and laughs, a boyish sound. 

“Charming,” she says. 

“I know,” he replies.

But even when he says that, it seems that his usual cocky grin is subdued. He seems more serious now, his gaze more intense and darker than it was the night before, like something in him has shifted. There’s a depth to his look, a quiet mindfulness that wasn’t exactly there before, the previous night when they were finally all brave and playful.  

She tries to see what’s there, in his eyes, but before she can, he hands her the sunscreen bottle. “Your turn,” he says. 

An hour under the sun and Noah’s freckles begin to appear more prominently across the bridge of his nose, like a constellation made of stars. He seems unaware of how they dot his face, of the beauty he carries with himself, as natural and unassuming as the rest of him. 

Eventually, she pulls herself away from staring at him and buries her attention in a book, propped on her forearms, body stretched out on the towel. Noah takes a nap before shifting to lie on his side and starts kissing her shoulder. He inquiries about the book she’s reading. The Remains of the Day. Noah mentions he’s read something from Ishiguro before—Never Let Me Go, perhaps? He pretends to read the chapter she’s focused on, but his lips and fingers have other plans, distracting her with light touches, making her laugh and squirm when he starts tickling her. 

The book eventually ends in Noah’s hands. He starts reading the novel, for real, and lets her explore the tattoos on his chest, stomach and arms, answering distractedly every question she has about them. 

She rests for a while on the towel, gazing at the sky with her hands flat on her stomach. After a while, she gets up and walks toward the water.

The sun is beginning its slow descent, melting into the horizon, bleeding orange and pink across the sky. The beach is nearly empty except for the two of them and some tourists in the distance.

The waves lap gently at the shore as she steps into the cool, damp sand. The wind carries the scent of salt and something floral. The beauty of the moments feels surreal, and she wonders if she’s dreaming again. 

Time slips away as she stands in the sand, waves crashing around her, her hair tousled by the wind. She’s unaware of the male gaze observing her from the towel. But an instant or two later, male arms are wrapped around her middle, and Noah’s cheek presses against hers.

She nuzzles into him, placing her hands over his and letting his movements guide her, swaying. She’s never felt so… at ease.

“It’s hard to believe in anything that’s not this moment, right now,” he murmurs into her hair.

She cradles his cheek and turns to face him. Their eyes meet, and there’s no pretense, no walls. 

“Is this what I’ve been missing?” She asks, searching the depths of his brown eyes.

Yes, it is, but instead of answering her question, he says, “I should have said something earlier.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” she replies, a tender hand cupping his sun-kissed cheek face. “I should’ve understood earlier. The way you used to look at me… It was too dreamy to be real.”

He presses a kiss to the palm of her hand, his voice low. “I wish I could tell you…”

“Tell me what?”

“Everything. What this means to me. How I feel. How I’ve felt for years and how awful I feel for not having had the guts to—”

She places a finger on his lips.

“We’re here,” she presses her body against his for emphasis. “Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. What this means to you… it means the same to me, Noah. I dreamt of you. You were my every fantasy. For years.”

“Tell me your dreams,” he demands. “I’ll make them come true. Each and every single one.”

“You’re already doing that.”

Noah’s fingers brush against the damp skin of her back. The world around them hums with distant laughter and soft music, but here, in their little pocket of space, time feels suspended. His touch wanders. He shifts closer because he needs her.

Unintentionally, right before he’s about to kiss her, his fingers catch on one of the strings of her bikini top. A simple tug. The tension in the knot gives way too easily. He is barely aware of what he’s done before the fabric slackens. 

A breath. A pause.

She stiffens, just slightly. Her shoulders tense, her body alert in the way someone instinctively braces for exposure. Noah realizes what he’s done in the same instant she glances around, eyes darting to the people farther up the shore. They’re too far to see, too lost in their own moments to notice. But still, she hesitates.

However, she doesn’t reach to fix it.

She doesn’t step away. 

Instead, she turns her gaze back to him, eyes gleaming. 

He understands.

His breath catches as he lifts his hands again, this time deliberate. His fingers find the second tie at the nape of her neck. The knot comes undone easily beneath his touch, the damp fabric slipping free. The bikini top flutters down, catching the breeze before landing softly at their feet in the sand.

Before she can move, Noah closes the space between them. His arms come around her, hands on her waist, pulling her against him, their bodies flush. His warmth envelops her, shielding her. Protecting her.

His thumb traces over the faint scar just beneath her breast. He lingers there, reverent, as if trying to read her past through it. 

“That’s a story for another day,” she whispers.

His fingers flex against her skin. “I’ll take care of you.” 

A soft exhale leaves her lips before she rises onto her toes, hands threading around his neck. Their mouths meet—slow at first, tasting the promise. Then deeper. Needier.

He doesn’t think before his arms tighten around her waist. He lifts her and he carries her forward, her legs around his hips, his feet greeted by water. Waves curl around them, rising to their waists as he holds her close.

She frees his hair from the bun. 

“I’m not sure you love the bun or hate it,” Noah muses. 

She grins against his wet lips. “I love how ridiculously hot it makes you look,” she admits, “but the urge to run my fingers through your hair is impossible to resist.” 

He hums in satisfaction and kisses her with an open mouth, hungrier and greedier.

There’s only the press of their bodies, the rhythm of the tide, the quiet gasp of her breath against his mouth.

And the night, vast and endless, coming to swallow them whole.

Steam curls into the air as water cascades down their bodies. The salt is long gone from their skin, for they’ve been in the shower longer than they can track. 

They move around each other in the small space, washing and rinsing, touching slowly, learning. 

He washes her hair, fingers massaging her scalp, nails scratching lightly in a way that makes her eyes flutter shut. She does the same for him, but when she stands in front of him, on her tiptoes to reach, he nibbles at her wrist, making her giggle—so much that he has to catch her before she slips. 

 She’s happy, thinking about how her hair will smell like his now. 

They stand under the stream of water for a while, hugging, saying nothing. 

When she shivers, Noah shuts off the water and hands her a towel before grabbing one for himself. 

Later, after they’ve brushed their hair and dried off, still wrapped in towels, she catches sight of him at the sink, securing a pink butterfly clip into his damp hair, pinning a few strands back from his forehead. 

From where she’s perched on the bed, with a foot propped up to apply moisturizes, she bites her lip to keep from grinning.

“That’s adorable.”

Noah glances at her in the mirror, then snorts when he realizes what she’s talking about. “Lily gave it to me when she was eight. Said it made me look cooler.” His mouth quirks. “She lied, obviously.”

“No,” she says, setting her foot back down on the carpet and flipping her hair over one shoulder. “It’s very fashionable. You should wear it all the time.”

“Instead of the bun? I don’t believe you,” he teases back. 

She sticks her tongue out and walks toward her suitcase, which she’d brought over from her room after they got back from the beach. He watches her, leaning against the sink with his arms crossed over his chest. Water still beads along her collarbones. 

She grabs her underwear, then pauses, letting it dangle from her fingers. When she turns back, the fact that Noah was watching her makes her heart jump. 

The way he stands there, with only a towel slung around his waist and damp hair messy except for that ridiculous pink clip doesn’t help the heat curling low in her stomach. 

She considers the fabric between her fingers, then tilts her head. 

“Do you want to get dirty again?”

His eyes darken, a slow, lazy smirk playing at his lips. “Do I want to get dirty again?” he repeats. “I think you know the answer to that, love.”

 Her smile could stop wars. 

She drops the underwear back into the suitcase and walks up to him, fingers grasping the hem of his towel, brushing against the skin just below his navel. 

“The clip stays on,” she says. 

Noah exhales a quiet laugh, raising an eyebrow as he lets her guide him toward the bed. 

“On one condition,” he says, catching her wrist just before she can tug the towel away and reveal his growing erection. 

She lifts a brow.     

“The clip stays on,” he murmurs, voice dipping lower, “as long as you do.” 

They hold each other��s gaze. The space between them disappears, years of hesitation dissolving into certainty. 

Her smile widens, so big it makes her cheeks ache. 

He just sealed a deal that will have him wearing that hair clip forever. 

He knows. 

She tugs the towel from his waist and rises onto her toes, pressing her lips to his. 

And then, there is no space left between them and no more years of sleep. 

💕 Happy Valentine's Day to all of you, my loves:

@rumoured-whispers | @iconic-taurus | @bloody-spades | @bluestdai | @theanarchymuse95

@somebodyels3 | @blade-dressed-in-red | @todressabladeupinred | @turn-your-life-into-folklore | @thecoyotescry

@iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning | @tosoundlessdarkistare | @missduffsblog | @flowery-mess | @chey-h

@tf-is-aesthetic | @alwaysfightforwhoyouare | @fadingangelwisp | @respectfulrebel | @amelia-acero

@theasowle | @xxkatsatwatwafflexx | @lunabuna991 | @ferduttini | @lacy1986

@bad-idea2021

I'm sorry if I forgot someone!

[numberonetacostan]

Me and my friends joke about this all the time, like, if the II contestants aren't immortal anymore, there are a few people on the list who need constant care to not die. First, obviously, Balloon. He can so easily be popped. It seems like most people have gotten over his season 1 attitude, so I don't think anyone would do it on purpose. But all it takes is someone to be a little too forgetful or careless, and he's gone forever. Two, OJ. He can shatter from stress. And he's glass, so I imagine he's pretty fragile. Three, taco. Oh, she's dead so fast, I fear. She's one anxiety attack away. I feel like now that she knows she can die from stress, she'd be a lot more willing to go and look for help if she feels stressed or scared, against her pride. Four, Test Tube. I think it's more likely that she has some sort of reinforced glass, though, considering she holds literal acid. And oh my god lightbulb. She shatters SO MANY times. All it takes is for someone to not look where they're throwing things for her glass to shatter. As a more minor one, Box seems very accident-prone. She keeps getting caught in water and falling down high places; I seriously doubt it won't happen again.

(this is assuming what ever the Prime Shimmers gave them ISN'T a recovery center. I know that's a pretty popular theory)

Hi Moldy!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in an ask!! :]

Yeah some of the contestants are kind of fucked? Like when Suitcase was telling Balloon that they weren't helpless, I was sitting in the cinema like "I love your girlboss attitude and confidence but he is a balloon" and then I cried some more but that's not relevant to this ask.

But speaking of Balloon!!! He can never go outside again. I have a Balloon that's months old, but that is because it has been in a closet for months. Balloon will have to go back in the closet to survive :( </3. But yeah!!! He's so very vulnerable to literally everything.

I'm putting OJ and Taco in the same spot here, because I'd (in a biased manner, of course) argue that they're the two in some of the most danger because they don't really need anything external to die!! If they spiral too hard, it's over for those gay bitches!! Balloon could at least stay nice and safe in a closet, but at literally any moment OJ or Taco could just fucking snap. At least OJ has his boyfriend, Mepad just fucking died. Taco has earned a couple crash outs after all the bullshit she's been through, I just hope they're not fatal for her.

Testy, I think will be okay, since whatever she's made up is strong enough to hold whatever wacky science liquid is in her, like you said. And she can probably invent something to keep her glass from cracking. Maybe OJ could even get in on that action too!!

Lightbulb... oh dear sweet lightbulb... yeah she's definitely at risk too. Though Painty would certainly be keeping a very close eye on her after having watched her die and all that. Lightbulb is well protected!! And since she's made of glass, Testy could help reinforce her too :)

We have already seen Box eat shit time and time again both alive and as a corpse. She is so accident prone and must avoid all bodies of water and steep hills at all costs. Though, with all that's happened I'm sure she'll be very careful.

(As for what the Shimmers gave them!! Yeah, it could be a recovery center, but as for my thoughts at least, that seems a bit... boring? Obvious, maybe? The crew has mentioned that they're probably not gonna bring Mepad back because it would take away from the emotion and depth of his original sacrifice, and it feels like it would be a similar case for the Shimmer machine. Yeah, it could be a recovery center, and it's not as though I'll be disappointed if it is, but it would negate some of the depth of the sacrifice Mephone4 and the contestants made, yeah?)

[avonne-writes]

Finally finishing this bingo of mine for the @mota-collab Mota 1st Birthday event! It took me longer than expected due to personal issues, but I'm so glad I was able to finish it and share my appreciation for fanwork that I love.

east side of sorrow (young vets au) by @bcolfanfic - a heartbreaking and difficult topic explored with so much care and empathy in this fic. John's pain, as well as Gale's steadfast love for him, always bring tears to my eyes.

major john egan, at your service. by @johnbottoms - NSFW Buck x Bucky x Marge art (my OT3 😍). One of the hottest Mota drawings I've seen, oh my God. The pose, their bodies and expressions, everything about it is hot and perfectly fitting for the characters. I would love to see more art of these three!

Crosby art by @eternallytired17 - I think this is a really lovely portrait! It takes a special skill to draw realistic portraits, even just a few lines off and the person would look completely unrecognizable, but eternallytired17 pulled this off super well. I loved the eyes here in particular. 🩷

Only You Can Cool My Desire by @johnslittlespoon - super hot smut fic that can be appreciated as a standalone, but it's also a part of a long AU, the Tough And Sweet verse. I really enjoyed reading the dynamic between John and Gale, the temperature play and the description of the heatwave. I could feel the touch of summer! 🌞

before you say 'cut', wait five more seconds by @irregularcollapse - a beautiful comfort fic. (I already recced the podfic by @angelfruittree associated with it here) John and Gale as actors was a really entertaining premise. The characters were well-written and interesting, and Gale’s POV was a joy to read. I loved the way the UST built between John and Gale, and then how natural it felt when they finally got together. Their first kiss was my favourite part.

Bucky meets Gale by @onyxsboxes - Ame's sweet, lovely kitty Gale verse. 🥹 I love cats, so the premise of this one got me hooked from the get-go. This is the first part of the series, and it's very sweet and comforting. John's feeling down but his new feline friend comforts him. A nice read on a rainy or cold day.

John and Gale gifset by @bennydemarco - this is so beautiful and heartbreaking and healing and poetic at the same time! 😭 The text font looks great, the scenes were perfectly chosen for the quote, and of course the most brilliant part is how the colours fade, then come back, reflecting the pain of parting and the joy of reunion.

penny drop by @drylite - this made me feral! Thick Bucky is so hot in this fic, and the way Gale yearns for him and desires him makes the flames of this fic burn all the brighter. The tender ending was the cherry on top for me, there was so much feeling in it. An instant favourite of mine.

Curt art by @kylaym - when I saw the angel meme, I thought of Curt immediately 💖😇 This is such a sweet portrait of him, I really like it. The artist has a unique and nostalgic style, I recommend all their art. I love that they have so many drawings of side characters as well.

Thank you to all the creators who share their talent with us in our small fandom!

[yubellia]

Tales of a traveling Creator…. „Am I an author now?…“

Imagine that we, the creator, finally made it back home. Back home to Teyvat that is. „Because this is where you belong, your grace!~“…. Yeah… great.

Actually, life is pretty sweet. Sure, there are certain things we don‘t have in Teyvat but… we can look past that. Mostly.

The characters don‘t know that for us, all of this was a game. Literally a video game. And there were many others too.

Now imagine how it must feel to never see your favorite show or cartoon again. How it feels to never play your favorite games again. (Especially if you know that a series would get a new game or season soon…. Gosh the horror!)

One day, you notice how your memories of these things start to fade. You forget the name of a character. Small things. But it’s scary enough to make you do something. You do the next best thing.

„Somebody bring me empty notebooks and writing tools! Hurry!“ Your always loyal followers almost run over each other to get what you requested.

And so starts the time period of none stop writing. Really. You carry notebooks everywhere. You start to write down the plot of your favorite games, shows, movies. You name it.

Until one day, because it had to happen, someone asked you where this enthusiasm came from. You and some of the other archons were having tea and snacks in inazuma. Ei insisted that you had to come for a visit again. Zhongli, your loyal shield („shield for what?“ „better be safe than sorry.“), Nahida was there too. Naturally considering that she is pretty much your daughter. Ei brought Miko with her and that’s when it happened.

„Your grace? I heard you always carry these notebooks around these days. Would you be willing to share your thoughts with us? Hm?~“

Zhongli gave Miko a slightly stern look but you shook it off. „sure. Why not. You see, i noticed that i started to forget certain things. Books I read in the other world.“ (you had to think on how to put this.) „stage plays I saw, songs and the adventures I had in…. Other worlds.“ „you visited other worlds too? Like the traveler?“ „yes. I did. Just like with the traveler or you guys, I used…. ‚Vessels‘ and guided them through their adventures. And i started writing things down so that I won‘t forget.“ You showed them a picture. „I even used my powers to create images of the characters.“

Miko‘s ears started to twitch. „Oh my…. Would you mind if… I took a look at that?“

„Sure…. But wait. Not this one. Here. This story is finished.“

You take another notebook from your pocket and hand it over. Miko promises to take very good care of it and the others look on in jealousy.

That was a few weeks ago. You continued. You did everything you could. Even create pages with character sheets and detailed descriptions.

One day, there is a long line in front of a book store. You could hear the owner talk about the newest story.

„Witness the the tale of a chosen hero in a distant world! A fight between good and evil. An innocent child chosen by destiny and the gods! One of their graces many vessels in another realm. This is The legend of Zelda. Ocarina of Time.“

For a moment, you just stood there with your mouth slightly open… „Miko…. Why? Zhongli can you believe it?….. Zhongli?“

You didn’t get an answer because instead of next to you, Zhongli was waiting in line for a copy of the book…..

„Oh hello your grace! The people of Inazuma and Teyvat as a whole love the adventure of the young hero and the princess…. When I read it, I just new it would be a hit.“

You didn’t have it in you to be surprised when Miko showed up. Oh and Zhongli returned with a copy of the book soon after that.

„So… I am an author now?“

„Well, it would be a shame to keep you loyal readers hanging no? Also, I heard some people discuss the criteria for becoming someone worthy of your guidance.“

„Well fortunately Link and Zelda have enough adventures. And i visited enough worlds…..“

Once Zhongli is next to you again, you grab his sleeve and pull him away before others see you.

(Heaven forbid I tell them about Kingdom hearts. The legend of Zelda has enough lore to keep them busy.)

[9amartt]

I have a strong feeling that I will die soon, I always did, but the day never arrived -yet-. I am not wishing for death obviously, not at all, -words can just not convey my feeling like it truly is- I mean, I don’t have much to find in my scales anyway.. However, I feel like everyday is my last, I don’t plan my life in the future for I don’t see myself being part of it. I barely plan my day, simply because I am unaware of wether I’ll live to tick any of the checkboxes in my todo list.

A sane person would think that this mindset kept me always on check, always aware of my deeds, always careful and wary, but I was rather the opposite “I’ve done enough let me rest” I thought, or “there’s not much left I don’t have time to do anything immensely beneficial”. Yet my departure seemed further day by day, every night I was still here, living a new day, wasting my time and drowning in sin. 

What saved me from this depressing loop is dhikr, a small deed which doesn’t require much time but has great rewards, truly, read about the rewards of merely uttering a few words -with a present heart- which are easy on the tongue but heavy on the scales, and you’ll understand what I say. I no longer think I don’t have time, because this special deed doesn’t require any, and doing this little deed slowly motivates you to do even bigger ones, and to remember that if you intend to do a deed and death takes you before, you’ll still be rewarded for your intention. 

I know not many will relate to this feeling, but it is a thought that comes to my mind often, when I remember those who left before us, either to Jannah or to the swamps of misguidance. 

Those youths I used to befriend, those whom I wanted to meet In Jannah, those whom now I despise. People whom I used to love dearly because our love for Allah united us, so when they stopped loving Him -and love is not just a feeling- our bonds were severed and the flames of our enmity were ignited. I don’t want to be like them -(و اللهم لا شماته!!)- and that is why I want to rush to my lord for as long as there still is a molecule of eeman left in my heart. 

My fear from death is not greater than my fear from life, simply because once I’m dead I’m under 99 parts of the mercy of Allah, and here, only one. And because I envy those who are with their beloved -Allah- while I reside among my enemies. 

Even Abu Hurayrah shared this feeling with us, -us, those whose life in a world in which Allah is disobeyed became unbearable- so he said, “I wish I had never been created, he said such words to convey his severe fear from deviating from the path. And similar words came from the mouth of the companion of our prophet, the one who was called by Allah “the most God-Fearing” so he -may Allah be pleased with him- said: “I wish I were a tree that is cut down and eaten”… If such words came from those whose deeds are still known to this day, what can we, -strangers amongst strangers- say?

Oh Allah we ask you for firmness upon whatever You have decreed. 

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 16th February ✨

This week has been an absolute rollercoaster! Hugely grateful to be able to escape into these stories, even if there was a lot of emotional heaviness this week! 🎧

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (180) It’s just so wonderful to hear from Polly again!! Hearing him worry that he might no longer be missed really made my heart hurt and I’m now wondering how long it will be before he actually returns if they have years of reading to get through! It might have just been my headspace this week, but I actually found this ep to be one of the hardest ever to listen to. The queerphobia was particularly fierce and, yeah, it feels pretty current at the moment. 

🦋 @remnantspod (28) The music box was his mother’s 🥺 everything about this ep was painful and I had to turn up at work pretending that I hadn’t just heard a beautiful goodbye from a mother to her dying daughter when all I wanted to do was sit and mentally unpick the idea that ‘Death is not a punishment’. The idea that Edwin (she wanted him to be called Erwin 😭😭) was actually not responsible for any of the stolen money is incredibly interesting. And what does Sir mean ‘rest for you will be good for both of us’? There are so many levels to read into that. God, this show is just so good!

🧋 @hinaypod (36-39) Soooo much happened in such a relatively short stretch of episodes! Murphy!! Donner!!!! What the hell!! I must admit I’m actually halfway through ep 39 because I got to the part where CJ revealed J is alive somewhere and the thought of him begging for updates and living his life through scraps of information about his loved ones actually made me too sad, I had to pause 😭 let those old men be happy PLEASE. 

🍾 @ameliapodcast (49) Oh my god, the back and forth in this episode drove me insane haha. The only thing worse than a dream interpreter is a terrible one!! 

💍 @forgedbondspod (8) Ooh the nuptials are getting increasingly questioned! I’m so excited for the possibility of 90% of Olympus standing up and shouting ‘I OBJECT’ at the wedding (this is assuming an Ancient Greek wedding has an opportunity for such a thing!). So lovely to have new voices in the show, I’m biased but they were both EXCELLENT. 

🔮 @spiritboxradio (1.5- 1.9) Ooh! Sam made a few accidental revelations over Christmas, didn’t he? We hate to see an absent father coming back into the narrative, tbh. Also, Sam, I know you’re unreliably narrating, but the more you remind us that you have no magical talent, the more obvious it is that you really, absolutely do. I’m enjoying this show so much and the episodes are a perfect length for my commute which is always *chef’s kiss*.

Have a lovely week, friends! 🫶

[jjay09]

The cupid

February 14

I'm someone who believes in love a lot. Every February 14, I like to going to many place to blessing that I hope I could have some love with someone because throughout all this time I've never been in love, not even someone to talk to. Maybe it's because my appearance doesn't a type and I'm gay, it makes it even harder for someone to like or be interested in me, or.....it's impossible.

This year, I still have hope for love, but if I don't have a boyfriend this year, I will probably give up hope, continue working hard, and accept that I will have to stay single...

Normally, my friend would take me to places that are famous for wishing for love and getting it fulfilled. But this year, it was different because yesterday my friend chatted to me that this year, he might not be able to go with me because his company had urgent work to do. That mean....This year, I will have to go alone....And to make matters worse, I woke up late today......

But I still had enough energy and hope to go to blessing. I quickly got out of bed, took a shower, and wear a pink shirt to fit the Valentine's Day theme even more. Before I go to check my outfit in front of mirror and left the room to go to the place where I had made a wish for love that I had been to in previous years.

I arrived at the first place at almost 12 am, because I left the room late, the area was full of people who had hopes for love, waiting in line to ask for blessings from the Goddess of Love. From my eyesight, there must be about 300 people here, which was so many that I didn't know how long I would have to wait if I lined up now to get to ask for blessings from the Goddess of Love. But this year was the last time I would come to ask for blessings, so it might not be longer than I thought....

Yes, that's just what I thought but I had been waiting in line for almost 3 hours, but the number of people in the line didn't seem to decrease at all. Maybe it was because there were more people than usual this year, and with the limit of 10 people per round, it seemed like the wait would be endless. Some people in the line who didn't know each other started talking to relieve boredom, which was a general topic, which I heard and wanted to join in, but I didn't have the courage until they started changing the topic.

"โอ้คุณ คุณเชื่อเกี่ยวกับตำนานของคิวปิดไหม?" (Oh you, do you believe in the legend of Cupid?) A Chinese-looking man opened a new topic.

"อืมมมม....ฉันรู้จักคิวปิดนะ ที่เขาจะมีธนูไว้ยิ่งจับคู่ให้ผู้คนรักกันใช่ไหม? มันมีอะไรหรอ?" (Ummmm... I know Cupid, the one who has a bow to match people to love each other, right? What's the matter?) The taller man asked with an interested look on his face.

"ใช่ๆ ตำนานนั้นก็เป็นส่วนหนึ่งที่ทุกคนรู้กันแต่ว่าฉันไปอ่านตำนานนึง เขาบอกเอาไว้ว่าในคืนวันวาเลนไทน์ของทุกๆปี เทพแห่งความรักจะส่งคิวปิดลงมาให้พรแก่ผู้ที่กำลังหมดหวังในความรัก" (Yes, that legend is part of what everyone knows, but I read one legend that said that on Valentine's Day night every year, the god of love sends Cupid down to bless those who are hopelessly in love.)

"ให้พรแก่ผู้ที่หมดหวังในความรักหรอ?" (Blessing those who are hopeless in love?)

"ใช่ คือเหมือนกับว่าเทพแห่งความรักไม่ได้ต้องการมีใครรู้สึกหมดหวังในความรัก และต้องการมอบพรเล็กๆน้อยในการทำให้พวกเขายังมีความหวังต่อไป" (Yes, it's like the God of Love doesn't want anyone to feel hopeless in love and wants to give them a little blessing to keep them hopeful.)

"แต่ว่าก็แปลกๆนะ แทนที่เทพแห่งความรักจะให้นั้นโดยตรงเลย แต่กลับส่งคิวปิดลงมาให้พรแทน 55555" (But it's a bit strange. Instead of the god of love giving it directly, he sent Cupid down to give the blessing instead. Hahaha)

"55555 ก็อาจจะดูแปลกนิดนึงแหละเพราะมันก็แค่ตำนานจากนิยายโบราณน่ะ....แต่พอนายพูดเราก็แอบคิดนะว่าทำไมเขาไม่ให้พรนั้นโดยตรงเลย555" (It might seem a bit strange because it's just a legend from an ancient novel... but when you said it, I secretly wondered why he didn't give that blessing directly haha)

"หรือเป็นเพราะคิวเยอะหรือเปล่า เลยให้พรไม่ทัน5555" (Or is it because there was a long queue that I couldn't give the blessing in time? Haha)

"ก็อาจจะเป็นไปได้ดูอย่างแถววันนี้สิ โคตรยาวพระเจ้ารันคิวไม่ทันแล้วเนี้ย55555" (It might be possible, look at the line today. It's so long, God, I can't even run the queue. LOL")

They continued to chat happily. Actually, they seemed like a couple now. But then again, they probably just wanted to chat to relieve their boredom....But when they talk about Cupid....I've heard the legend of Cupid, but the legend that the god of love will send Cupid to bless those who are hopelessly in love? It seems unbelievable, but if it really happened, what would Cupid's blessing be?

The story of Cupid kept running through my head as the number of people in line gradually decreased, and it was finally my turn....I stepped inside, looked at the statue of the god of love, and closed my eyes and made a wish.

"ปีนี้ถือว่าเป็นปีสุดท้ายที่ผมจะมาขอพรแล้ว....ผมมาในครั้งนี้ก็อยากจะมาขอพรเหมือนกับปีก่อนๆ....ก็คือ....ขอให้ผมมีเจอความรักดีๆสักครั้งหนึ่ง....." (This year is the last year that I will come to ask for a blessing...I came this time and wanted to ask for a blessing like in previous years...that is...I wish I could find true love just once...)

I slowly opened my eyes and bowed my head to the statue before slowly walking out of the area. Normally, I would have to go and pray somewhere else, but because I was tired of waiting in line today, I thought I would just go back to my room. So, I quickly called a taxi on my phone and went back to my room.

______________________________________________________________

"เห้ออออ....เหนื่อยจัง...." (Hrrrrrrr…….So tired) I threw myself on the couch, exhausted from standing in line for almost 3 hours, and then getting stuck in traffic while taking a taxi. That got me home at almost 6 pm.

I lay on the couch and played on my phone for a while before walking to the fridge and taking out my usual frozen food and heating it up in the microwave. While I was waiting, I went to the bathroom to take a shower......So this is my usual boring daily routine, after which I will eat dinner, watch some TV or do some office work, and then go to bed around midnight before waking up to continue my boring work every day.

And yes, now I'm done with everything and I'm going to do my last activity of the day, which is going to bed. Because I was tired all day, it was very easy for me to fall asleep as soon as I fell asleep within a few seconds.

☁️In my dream☁️

"เฮ้ เฮ้ ตื่นได้แล้ว มนุษย์ขี้เซา" (Hey hey, wake up sleepyhead.) The voice of someone I didn't recognize made me slowly open my eyes to see who it was.

"อืมมมมม....ใครมากวนเวลานอนตอนนี้เนี้ย?" (Ummmm....who's disturbing my sleep at this time?) I tried to squint to adjust my eyes from the bright light in front of me that was making my vision a bit blurry.

"ข้าเอง....เจ้ามีปัญหาหรอ?" (It's me... Do you have a problem?) My eyes gradually adjusted until I could see the scene in front of me more clearly.

"ค.....คุณเป็นใคร?! มาอยู่ในห้องของฉันได้ยังไง?!" (W.....Who are you?! How did you get in my room?!) I was shocked and a little scared because the person in front of me was someone I didn't recognize. There was no way I had seen him before. Although he looked handsome and had a good body, his clothes didn't look normal like other people's.

"ชู่วววว....ใจเย็นๆ ฉันรู้ว่านายตกใจ แต่ต้องฟังฉันก่อน" (Shhh... calm down. I know you're shocked but listen to me first.)

"โอเค....โอเค....หายใจเข้าลึกๆ....พิ้ววววว~~" (Okay....Okay....Deep breathing....Phewwwww~~) I tried to calm down and take a deep breath

"ดีๆ งั้นตอนนี้เจ้าฟังข้า....ข้าคือกามเทพหรือพวกเจ้าเรียกข้าว่าคิวปิดนั้นแหละ" (Okay, now listen to me.....I am Cupid.)

"ห้ะ?! คิวปิดหรอ?!" (Huh?! Cupid?!) This can't happen. It's just a dream... Cupid is just a legend that has been passed down through the generations. There's no way he's really Cupid. I need to wake up now.

"หยุดตบหน้าตัวเองก่อน เจ้าไม่ได้กำลังฝันและข้าคือคิวปิดจริงๆ" (Stop slapping yourself. You're not dreaming and I'm really Cupid.) The one who calls himself Cupid holds my hand.

"ค....คุณเป็นคิวปิดจริงๆหรอ....แล้วทำไมคุณถึงมาหาผมล่ะ?" (A...are you really Cupid? Then why did you come to me?)

"เจ้าก็น่าจะรู้ตัวดีไม่ใช่หรอว่าเจ้ากำลังจะหมดหวังในเรื่องความรักใช่ไหม?" (You should know that you are hopeless in love, right?) It's exactly what they say, Cupid comes to those who are hopelessly in love....and yes, I am

"ใช่แล้วครับ...." (Yes, that's right…)

"นั้นจึงเป็นเหตุผลที่ข้ามาหาเจ้าและมอบพรเล็กๆน้อยๆที่จะสามารถช่วยเจ้าได้ในอนาคต" (That's why I came to you and gave you a small blessing that will help you in the future.)

"พร?" (Blessing?) That's something I've always wondered about after hearing those stories. It always makes me wonder what blessing Cupid will give to humans.

"ใช่แล้ว แต่ก่อนที่ข้าจะให้พรกับเจ้าข้าอยากมอบหมายให้เจ้าทำอะไรสักอย่างเป็นข้อแลกเปลี่ยนสักหน่อย" (Yes, but before I give you my blessing, I would like to ask you to do something in exchange.)

"มันคืออะไร" (What is that?) I had no idea it would require a trade-off, but it seemed worth it if it wasn't too difficult.

"ตอนนี้งานกามเทพบของฉันมันค่อนข้างเยอะมาก ทำให้ฉันไม่มีเวลาทำงานจับคู่ของฉันเลย....ฉันเลยจะมอบพลังลูกศรแห่งความรักให้กับนาย" (My Cupid work is quite heavy right now, so I don't have time to do my matching work....so I'm going to give you the power of the arrow of love.)

"ลูกศรแห่งความรักหรอ?" (Arrow of love?) I've heard it said that Cupid shoots an arrow at two compatible humans, and they are going to fall in love.

"ใช่ เจ้าแค่ต้องหาคนสองคนที่เหมาะสมกันและทำให้เข้าสองคนรักกัน โดยการที่เจ้าเพียงแค่ชี้นิ้วและยิงไปที่พวกเขา" (Yes, you just must find two people who are right for each other and make them fall in love by just pointing your finger and shooting at them.)

"โอ้ นั้นดูเป็นงานที่สำคัญมากเลยนะ....ฉันจะทำมันได้หรอ" (Oh, that seems like a very important job… Can I do it?) I was a little worried if I accepted the deal because it seemed like quite a difficult task.

"ไม่ต้องห่วง ข้าจะช่วยดูอีกที....เพียงแค่เข้าตอบตกลง ถ้าคุณต้องการ" (Don't worry, I'll look again...just say yes if you want it) I thought about it repeatedly, but....It doesn't come around very often, so I think......

"ฉันตกลง" (I'm agree)

"ดีมาก ตอนนี้รับพรนี้ไป!" (Very good, now take this blessing!)

Suddenly Cupid threw himself at me....and I

"ไม่!!....แค่ฝันหรอกหรอ?...." (No!!....Just a dream? .....) I took a deep breath before looking around at the still dark place. I guess I was thinking too much about Cupid.

"55555 คิดมากเกินไปแล้ว....อ่าาาาา....ทำไมจู่ถึงร้อนขนาดนี้...." (Hahaha I think too much... Aaaaahh... Why is it suddenly so hot.) Suddenly, my body became hotter and hotter, until sweat began to cover my body more and more. I slowly took off my shirt with an indescribable discomfort, it was as if the pajamas I was wearing were getting tighter. "อ่าาาาาา....นี้มันอะไรกัน....อากาศก็ไม่ได้ร้อนสักหน่อยทำไม?.....อ๊าาาาากกกก!!" (Aaaaahhhhhh.... What is this.... The weather isn't even hot, why?....Aghhhhhh!!!!) I screamed in pain. It felt like my body was being crushed. I could clearly hear my muscles and bones cracking, but I had no idea what was happening. The pain got worse every second. It was like… I couldn’t take it anymore… Everything slowly went black.

______________________________________________________________

February 15

"อืมมมมมมม....ยังไม่อยากตื่นเลย...." (Ummmmmmmm... I don't want to wake up yet...) I slowly woke up to the sound of my alarm clock going off. I twist and stretch every morning, but this morning I felt refreshed, energetic, and much stronger.

"หืมมม....ใครตรงนั้น?" (Hmmmm....Who is there?) I got out of bed and walked to the same mirror where I saw someone. "นี้มัน!!.... ฉันหรอ?!?" (This is!!....Me?!?) I started touching my face, my body and saw that it did everything just like me. Is this Cupid's blessing?

I hurriedly walked into the bathroom before checking my body. And this was the man I saw last night. He gave me this body… But it was really good. "อ่าาาาา....หล่อ.....หุ่นดี.....กล้ามใหญ่....แถมควยใหญ่" (Ahhhhh....Handsome.....Good body.....Muscular.....Plus Big dick) 

I grabbed my big dick and couldn't help but play with it. I started stroking and rubbing it....until it was hard....then I started stroking it and moaning in my now sexy voice. I am stroking it fast but hard until it.... "อ่าาาาาา แม่ง....ซี้ดดดด โคตรดี....อ่าาาาาาาา" (Ahhhhhhhh......Fuck so good.....AHHHHHHH) A lot of my cum leaked out of my tip. It made me feel so good to feel something good in the morning.

"โอ้ นั้นหมายความว่า ฉันก็มีสอนแห่งความรักนั้นหรอ?! วู้วววววว~~" (Oh, does that mean I also have that teaching of love?! Wooowwww~~) I was so happy that I secretly shot for fun, but it didn't have any effect because I didn't shoot at anyone.

"อ่าาาา น่าจะเอาไปลองใช้สักหน่อยดีกว่า...." (Ah, I think I should try it first....) I left the bathroom before reaching for the swimming trunks that I had never worn before because I didn't have the courage to go swimming in the condo's communal pool. Now I finally got to put them on, and they fit my body perfectly.

I walked into the pool area and tried to strike a sexy pose to attractive some guys. Then I saw a guy with a pink aura and another guy swimming with a pink aura. That's when I knew what I had to do. I pointed my finger at the two men before trying to shoot and soon…

"เห้ย ได้ผลว่า!" (Hey, it's work!) I looked at the two men who looked at each other and smiled at each other. It was a fall in love.

"อะไรได้ผลหรอครับ?" (What works?) Suddenly, a guy came up to me and said hello. He looked good, handsome, and had a mustache, making him look hotter. "สนใจไปนั่งด้วยกันไหมครับ?" (Would you like to sit together?)

"โอ้....แน่นอนครับ" (Oh....for sure) I smiled friendly and went over to talk to him and found that we got along quite well, and I liked him a little bit.

1 week later

He and I continued talking and everything seemed to be going well, until he asked me to be his boyfriend.

Cupid's blessing really works.

______________________________________________________________

happy valentine's day Sorry I disappeared and didn't update my blog. But now I'm back but I'm not sure if I'll be able to update more haha

[thenaphantoms]

Today is Valentine's Day, but it also marks one year since Miraculous Ladybug re-entered my life!

I discovered the show a bit before the English dub released back in 2015, watching it mainly in Korean with subtitles. It was so exciting seeing more and more people talk about this obscure little french cartoon once the dub came out!

But with increasing popularity came...other things. Art theft, harassment, young kids not really understanding how to behave in fandom spaces, and then Astruc himself replied sarcastically to a comment I'd made under one of his tweets (though in retrospect what he said was actually pretty funny). Then I had to end a really big friendship with someone I'd met because of the show, and I found myself in a weird position. Keep watching the show I loved, even though doing so made me uncomfortable due to those negative associations, or drop it entirely?

So I dropped it entirely. I put all the dolls and action figures somewhere I wouldn't be able to see them. Started a new account where I could engage with other fandoms. I stopped writing and reading Miraculous fanfic, stopped making Miraculous fanart, and forced myself to fixate on other things.

Years passed, and eventually, the thought of the show stopped making me feel so uncomfortable. I still couldn't bring myself to watch it, but I started a rewrite project, trying to fix the things I remembered not enjoying about the first two seasons of the show (which was all I'd seen at the time). I bought a couple of the new Miraculous dolls, super jealous that Kids These Days are getting so much better merch than I had when I was a fan of the show. Got some of the kwami blind bag kwami figures too, and I developed a habit of keeping one with me in my bag when I went to work.

That rewrite project never went very far, since I was hoping to do my own take on the episodes, and most of the episodes had become a distant memory by that point. In fairness, it had been like 6 years. I'd have to rewatch the show, and I still wasn't ready for that.

Then, on this day last year, something happened. I was staying at my parents house after an especially stressful work week, and I was browsing Netflix. And what would be on the front page, but Miraculous Ladybug: The Movie.

I had vivid memories of binging the show on Valentine's Day as a kid. I used to really associate the day with Marinette and Adrien, so Valentine's Day felt a bit like a nice opportunity to appreciate a ship that made me so happy.

So I watched the movie, justifying to myself that it wasn't like I was watching the show, it was just one movie and it would probably suck anyway.

But it didn't suck. It very much didn't suck. In fact, I LOVED it. It brought back so many memories, the love square was so sweet, the kwamis were such a cool idea, Hawkmoth was so fun, the akumas were so creative, Marinette and Adrien were so cute! It reminded of all the things I used to legitimately love about the show, rather than the stuff I didn't. When I was watching the movie, I wasn't thinking about that friendship that ended, or the art that got stolen. I was thinking about these kids, how much I loved them, and how much I loved their story. And I realised something that, in retrospect, should have been obvious.

It wasn't the SHOW that made me uncomfortable. It was my negative associations related to it. The show did nothing wrong, it was always fun and always made me happy. It was my bad experiences themselves that tainted it.

So I thought it over, and decided to continue the show from where I left off, even if the thought of doing so made me feel kind of sick and uncomfortable.

And I liked it. No, I didn't just like it-- I LOVED it. It was so fun?? And interesting??? And--wait oh my god is that PLOT?! Wait wait wait Marinette is overwhelmed???? I've felt like that!!! And--oh!!! Who is this Félix guy?? He's a reference to the pilot!! And he's so fun!! And Kagami? I remembered her being a boyfriend stealer but she's actually not at all and she's actually really sweet??? And Alya!!! Ride or die bestie Alya!!!

Needless to say, I couldn't stop watching after that. I binged seasons 3 and 4 in the span of I think two days, then immediately moved on to season 5, and I had a wonderful time. I was also a lot happier in general. It felt like I'd regained a part of myself that I'd lost, or rather, willingly left behind.

I know there's a lot of discourse online about whether or not the show is good, about if its even worth watching, but to me, that stuff sincerely doesn't matter. Miraculous Ladybug makes me very happy, which is why you'll never see me engage in Miraculous Ladybug salt discussions. I can critique it sometimes, but I've spent enough time looking down on this show. I'd rather love it for what it is and appreciate the joy it's always brought me.

So yes, today isn't just Valentine's Day. It's the anniversary of the day Miraculous Ladybug came back into my life, and the day I regained a piece of myself I'd long forgotten.

I loved the movie so much, I started binging Miraculous Ladybug for the first time in a long time, and I'm having a blast, so I wanted to draw something! It's actually based on a piece I drew in 2016 and then redrew in 2017. I think I've come a long way as an artist, and I'm so proud of the improvement!

Bug out!🐞