#I have so many issues right now that at this point I remember 'daydreaming' about being a psychiatric patient

[c0wb0yenthusiast]

Sun, sand and Graves

Phillip Graves x Fem!reader!

Summary : due to unexpected circumstances, you find yourself trapped in a sunny paradise with your colleague and begin to learn what he’s like outside of work.

Word count : 1.7k

A/N : Hey everybody! If this gets enough attention then I plan to make a part 2! Yearning part 3 will also begin to be made soon. I just wanna say I’m sorry for being so busy 😭 I hope this will help me get back into my writing schedule. All I can say now is I hope you enjoy the fic!

Never in a million years could you have thought of this scenario. You couldn’t picture you and your superior, Phillip Graves, curled up underneath an umbrella as you tried to find the most comfortable dips in the sand to rest each limb.

Never.

Although, it wasn't like you wanted to be here. Sure, the breeze blew gently onto your skin as the waves rolled up and down the shoreline lazily and it was definitely the most relaxing moment of your life.

Yet you couldn’t settle completely knowing why you were stuck in this sunny paradise.

"They what?", you remember looking up from the folder handed to you to meet his eyes .

To your surprise, they were glistening with ambition.

"Think of it as a happy little accident, doll.", he smiled, now taking it back from your hands and tossing it aside as he was clearly dealing with more important issues.

“We've got a couple of days to spend here, so why not make the most of it?"

"That is so unprofessional."

You couldn’t help it, after so many years of training and constant work you’d become a stickler to your usual schedule. You would’ve thought Graves would be the same.

"Well, you won't be telling Shepherd or those others now, will you?", Graves lowered his voice, leaning in slightly.

"I don't think you're giving me a choice here." you rolled your eyes playfully, turning on your heel to exit the safe house and find anything that was suitable for the weather.

-

Looking out onto the water from your towel, it was therapeutic.

Until you heard him shuffling in his spot right next to you.

"... Do you mind?"

"Not at all.", he let out a chuckle, looking up at you through his aviators.

Graves was only wearing shorts, propping himself up on his elbows to 'catch a tan' as he called it.

It felt unprofessional, but it didn't stop you from stealing glances at him every now and then.

"So... You go to the beach often?"

You turned to look at him, raising a brow at his sudden urge to talk to you after working under him for years.

"Yeah.. Every summer when I'm off of work."

"Nice, nice.. You go with friends or family?"

"Uhm.. Both? Not at the same time-"

You paused.

"Are you bored? Is that why you’re interrogating me?”

"What? Now why would you say that?”, he now sat up, staring at you with a pointed look.

"Why don't you go flirt with the locals? I'm busy.", you urged, fighting the temptation to shove him onto his feet and away from your solace.

"Because we should stay together."

You cocked a brow at his behaviour, "I'm sure you won't get lost in the crowd, it's not like I'm going anywhere.”

"Well then I'm not going anywhere either.", he announced indignantly.

"You're not really acting like my superior right now."

Laying back down onto your towel, you crossed your arms over your waist and tried to day dream. Anything that didn’t involve the man in front of you.

"I have a life when I'm not your superior, you know.", he was looking down at you from his awkward, sudden crouch.

A large grin was plastered on his face.

“Look, why don't we just get a drink? Cool down, relax and enjoy our time."

“Fine.”

You got up and sighed at your situation.

You never thought you would be standing on the beach, dressed in a bikini about to order possibly alcoholic beverages with your commander.

After slipping off the robe you'd been wearing, the breeze hit your stomach and upper thighs gently and you relaxed at the cool sensation.

"You done daydreaming over there?", he tilted his head, gesturing for you to follow him.

You groaned, holding onto your sunhat as the breeze attempted to blow if off of your head while you hurried along to catch up to his confident strides.

Graves stopped by the bar, leaning across the table and waiting with a smile for the bartender. Once they approached, he cleared his throat.

"Right.. Err, you speak English?", he clocked a brow at the bartender who nodded, clearly unimpressed.

"Can I get two of whatevers strongest?"

"Phillip?", you put a hand on his shoulder, making him suddenly turn and look up at you.

"Hm?"

He didn’t seem phased from your touch which was odd. The two of you didn’t interact like this very often.

"I'll just have a beer and I think you should too."

He sighed, looking back at the bartender still drying a glass.

"Can I just get two beers, please? Thanks."

"You see? Let's have something normal before we start seeing stars or something.", you laughed and took your bottle of beer.

“Sure- thank you!” He called to the bartender as he slid over some cash and walked beside you.

“I can’t wait to get this over with.”

“Why? This is a one in a lifetime opportunity.”

“It’s.. weird.”

You shrugged, sitting back down onto your towel and taking swigs of your beer every now and then.

He lowered himself down beside you, squatting as he looked around like a child in a candy store.

This must be paradise for him. Sun, sea and beautiful women everywhere you turned. Men are so typical.

“You’ll get over the feeling soon. Believe me, I’ve only had this happen once before and it wasn’t even that close to this.”

The two of you sat for awhile, making idle conversation in bits and pieces that were initiated by him. You were too busy listening to the waves crash against the nearby rocks. Graves took the hint and left you alone.

-

The door clicked shut and you both seemed to loosen up as you entered the safe house. It had been such a calm day that your senses were heightened; you were still tense and cautious deep down.

“Fun day, hm?” He smiled at you, instantly pulling off the vest he’d lazily put on before leaving the beach.

He walked over to his bed, allowing you to catch a glimpse of his toned back.

You didn’t want your eyes to travel. This wasn’t a holiday or some sort of fantasy.

They still managed to scan his broad shoulders and structured muscles, savouring every scar or imperfection scattered across his skin.

“I’m going to have a shower.” You blurted out, hastily making your escape before you started to examine the waistband of his shorts.

You shut the door behind you, locking it and turning the water on. It was loud and a good enough distraction for at least a second until you were getting flashes of the slight scar that traced his waist bone and curved around to his back.

It had only been a day and you were becoming an animal.

What was going on?

Stripping down quickly, you almost jumped into the welcoming stream of water. It felt good to wash all of the sand and sweat off.

Your hands trailed over your body, which prompted you to think about Graves. You hand on his shoulder.

He was firm, possessing a sense of solidity which made sense as your commander.

But as a man, it just made you feel weak in the knees.

You wondered how his hands felt. Maybe they were rough, calloused from work. Maybe they were cold; his fingertips spreading shivers across your skin as they tried to figure out any sensitive spots.

As you scrubbed gently over your skin, a sudden knock sent your arms crossed over your chest.

“What?!”, you called, a little angry for the interruption.

“How long? I need to shower too, you know.”

“When I’m finished!”

You huffed to yourself, now massaging soap into your hair. You really were losing it.

He still didn’t have the right to interrupt you though, it was getting good.

Sighing, you continued developing this daydream while you washed your hair.

You sometimes saw him ruffle some of his shadows’ hair in a show of appreciation. It was cute.

Now, you tried to envision his hands knotting through your hair. Fingers tangling around strands which sent shoots of pain to your scalp. Pain mixed with pleasure.

You rinsed your hair out, movement becoming much more sharper. You stopped when some small strands were pulled out and you shook them off, stopping the shower.

It was your warning to yourself to keep these thoughts private. Possibly just keep them as daydreams in the shower to stop you from feeling lonely. Sometimes work was tough, you deserved the break.

Even if that meant imagining getting intimate with your colleague.

It’s fine, it’s not like he’d ever find out.

As you wrapped as towel around your body, you unlocked the door to find him standing outside with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You’re awfully impatient.” You commented, smirking a little at his glare.

“Sure, but I know you’d do the same.” He grinned back, poking your chest and immediately darting into the bathroom. The door clicked shut and you were left alone.

Did he just… poke you?

A tentative hand brushed over the spot that had just been touched.

It’s nothing. He probably didn’t think before acting.

You turn away and begin to put on some pajamas for the night. Soft and skimpy - a pair of thin, cotton shorts and a vest which hung loosely on your figure.

It was now the late afternoon.

Graves had finished his shower and you wanted to glue your face to your palms to prevent your eyes from gazing at his hips or happy trail. It was blonde.

You only knew that because his hair was blonde. Nothing more.

“You don’t fancy going out tonight?”

Your brows furrowed. That was out of line.

“I’m getting rest. Something that is rare when working for the Shadow corporation.”

You rolled on your side and now shuffled in your bed, trying to get comfortable.

“Hit a nerve there…” he sighed, sitting opposite you on his bed before continuing.

“Well, you can’t be tired already.”

“Maybe I am.”

“Alright, alright… I’ll leave you be.”, Graves pulled himself up, walking over to the little desk situated in the room. He fell back into the chair and whistled.

He was bored and you knew it.

You shot up from your bed, glaring at him.

He won this time.

“Fine! We can go out. Let me get changed…” you muttered, snatching your clothes and retreating to the bathroom after your bitter defeat.

He may or may not have whistled a celebratory tune as you passed by.

[blueorchid-95]

so I was going through Book IV for my theory post a while back and. Holy crap the foreshadowing goes Hard in this Book

In chapter 2 part 1, the party initially notices the summoner’s absence:

And then Peony says this in response:

Funnily enough, that’s exactly what happened. As of right now, the summoner is trapped in a dream. And what’s this part called again?

This is a completely accurate statement. The summoner is indeed lost in a dream, just not in the way that the party or the players expect.

Let’s skip on up to chapter 5. In part one, everyone “wakes up” to an Askr flooded with nightmares… and besides Alfonse, no one seems to recognize the summoner.

Now, this event is clearly spurred on by a nightmare. Alfonse sees it as his own fear:

But check out the way he phrases it. The fear of losing somebody isn’t exactly one-to-one with what’s happening here. Anna and Sharena are acting like the Summoner never existed. If it was Alfonse’s fear of loss that had taken over, the others would be aware of Kiran’s identity and a nightmare summoner would be preying on that terror. But that’s not happening—because this isn’t Alfonse’s fear.

Instead, it reads more as a fear of loneliness—no one knowing who you are, no one remembering everything you’ve done together…. It fits with the Summoner’s personality, too: they’re always working and working, showing kindness to everybody unconditionally, and yet barely taking a moment to relax. They want to have friends so badly that the very idea of being forgotten and abandoned terrifies them to their very core… but that fear doesn’t affect Alfonse, and the Summoner knows that, so he just ends up confused.

Oh, and on top of all that, what’s this part called?

This title hits so hard once you know the twist because it applies to BOTH Alfonse and Kiran’s perspectives. Alfonse is remembering the name of someone else, while Kiran is remembering their own name. And, frankly, I doubt many people read the part titles anyway. It’s so easily looked over and yet it’s so incredibly obvious once you first spot it. I should know—I almost missed it myself!

In Part 6’s final bit, Memory of a Friend, Veronica asks Alfonse to tell her about Zacharias, at which point Alfonse reveals his memory issues. Pay attention to the specific wording he uses here:

Fog, huh? Take a look at this!

When Alfonse dreams of the World of Steel, it’s covered in fog… just like his memories. The world is obscured, empty and cold, and it’s excruciatingly unfamiliar to him. In the Midpoint Movie, however, he encounters one other person when he’s in the fogbound city:

The summoner, aggressively charging towards him with hands outstretched. You know what happens immediately after this daydream? The party clashes with the mind-controlled summoner, and the Summoner finally realizes who they are and reclaims their identity.

When you think of foreshadowing in this Book, you most likely think of the squirrel conversation (unrelated: I had Ratatoskr in my party when I was getting these screenshots and I just think that was funny) in 11-5:

Immediately after Anna says all this, Alfonse begins showing obvious discomfort as he comes to a realization.

Alfonse and the Identity Crisis! Look at him go! This could also be a potential interpretation of the Summoner v. Alfonse scene in the movie: the dreamt-up personality coming into conflict with the actual one.

This tells the player that this may not be the real Alfonse… but it doesn’t tell them WHO. And so, they’re still on their toes when the big reveal comes around—which makes the truth of Alfonse’s real identity hit so much harder.

TLDR: Book IV had some of the most amazing foreshadowing I’ve ever seen in a video game and I wanted to talk about it some

[writingquestionsanswered]

Interested in Writing But Can't Seem to Write

Anonymous asked: I've been interested in writing since I was a child. Used to be a bookworm. Whole chapter books in one night, completely addicted as a form of escapism. My first real dream job was to be an author - I decided this at around 11 maybe. No matter how many phases I've had, I always return to wanting to be an author. I am 22 now. I have not written a single thing. I vaguely remember writing like, maybe 3 things at most. Incomplete works that I just had fun with. And this was before I even turned 14. But in all those years of "loving writing and books" and "wanting to be an author" I did straight up nothing. Didn't even contribute to fanfics for the fandoms I was deeply obsessed with (I do remember trying once but wasn't into it). At some point reading was out of my life too.

I'm going to start here, because of these conflicting statements:

-- "I have not written a single thing." -- "I vaguely remember writing like, maybe 3 things at most."

See the issue? ;) If you've written "maybe 3 things" you have written something. They may have been incomplete, and you may not even remember what you were, but that doesn't mean you should discount them. You have written. That experience is still in there somewhere.

One of my biggest pet peeves as a longtime writer is hearing newer writers refer to themselves as "aspiring writers." If you write, you're a writer. Period. It doesn't matter if you journal, write poetry, write fan-fiction, or wrote a middle-school round robin with friends where you all married your favorite K-Pop stars. You write. You're a writer. And, honestly, even if you're not actively writing right now, if you want to write--if you think about writing, are constantly jotting down story ideas and character names, and are eagerly gathering inspiration from all around you... guess what? You're still a writer.

Now I'm trying to take my interest in writing more seriously, but I just can't sit down and write. I'm good at storing notes and ideas and daydreaming what my stories are about, but nothing is ever produced. If I think about it I immediately lose interest - even if I am in fact still interested in writing and publishing? I'm very confused by my behaviour and I wonder if it's normal.

What you're experiencing isn't unusual. In fact, most writers experience it from time to time, though usually it happens at points further into the writing journey and not right at the start. But I still wouldn't call that "abnormal." It happens.

There are a hundred-million reasons why it happens, and the only way to figure out why it's happening for you right now is to do some soul-searching. At your age, I think a prime suspect would be that you're in the jumping off point for your adult life. This can be a tumultuous time for a variety of reasons, and your focus and energy may be naturally geared toward the things that help you explore and settle into this new phase of life. Even beyond that, if you have have a demanding job (including being a parent or caregiver), are going to school or studying for job-related tests/classes, or have a lot going on right now (multiple projects, lots of travel, lots of appointments and social commitments, etc.)--your focus and energy is probably running thin as it is, so finding a way to funnel what's left into writing is going to take some finesse. And that's if this is even the right time for it, which I'll get to later on.

Writing Stress = Writing Avoidance

One of the most mind-blowing things I've learned about writing is that writing avoidance often comes down to writing feeling stressful for whatever reason. If you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to write, write a certain amount, meet goals or deadlines, that translates to stress. It makes writing stressful, and the problem with that is evolution has wired our brains to avoid things that are stressful. At its most basic level, stress is a response to danger--you hear a lion roar in the distance, it causes you stress, you turn and run in the opposite direction. Stress triggers the "fight or flight response," a defense mechanism that protects us from the impending danger. With writing, "fight" shows up as self-criticism. "Flight" shows up as avoidance.

So, if you find that you want to write but are avoiding it, it's worth considering if you're avoiding it because it feels stressful to you. If so, there are things you can do to de-stress writing. For one thing, let go of the notion that you have to write any particular thing or amount in order to be a writer. Set yourself a bare minimum writing goal to reach every day... like writing for 10 minutes. That can be any writing--journaling, writing prompts, working on a story, fleshing out story ideas, fluffy fan-fiction, poetry, writing down a favorite memory, doing a book or movie review, anything. Try to do it every day, but don't beat yourself up if you sit down and aren't able to write anything, don't write a lot, or never sit down at all. Just try, every day, do your best. Also, try setting up a writing routine that you do every day when you sit down for that little writing session. Try to pick the same or similar time each day, do a little meditation or stretch beforehand, put on some soft music or light a candle, get your favorite drink or small snack. If you do this almost every day, what you'll start to find is that the writing happens more and more easily. Eventually you'll be spend more and more time doing it.

Why can I say I'm interested in writing when I don't write at all?

I'm interested in traveling to England but I haven't yet and have no current plans to. Does that mean I'm not allowed to say I'm interested in traveling to England?

Being interested in something doesn't mean you have to do that thing right now or you can't say you're interested in it.

And even if you can't write right now for whatever reason, there are still plenty of writerly things you CAN do. Following writing blogs and vlogs is a good start. You can listen to writing podcasts and read writing craft books. You can keep a notebook full of plot and character ideas, setting inspiration, favorite quotes, interesting words, and overheard bits of dialogue. You can watch TV shows and movies (and read books, which includes listening to audiiobooks!) You don't even have to do these things all the time or everyday. Just periodically, when you can. It all goes into your creative well and will be there to draw from when you are able to write.

One final word...

You do not have to be in a hurry to be a writer or to be a published writer. The average age of first-time publication is mid-30s. I was mid-40s. Jane Austen was 35. Toni Morrison was 40. J.R.R. Tolkien was 45. Richard Adams was 52. Annie Proulx was 57. Laura Ingalls Wilder was 65. National Book Award winner Harriet Doerr was 74. Poet Sarah Yerkes started writing poetry at 97 and was published at 101.

So, be interested in writing. Own that interest. Figure out if and how writing fits into your life right now. If it doesn't, do the other things. Fill your creative well so it will be ready when writing does fit into your life. ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

Learn more about WQA

Visit my Master List of Top Posts

Go to ko-fi.com/wqa to buy me coffee or see my commissions

[greenlantern94to04]

Green Lantern #52 (June 1994)

Mongul, a.k.a. DC's answer to Thanos (a.k.a. Marvel's answer to Darkseid), demands a rematch with Green Lantern! The only problem is that this is a completely different Green Lantern from the one he fought last time (GL #46), but Mongul thinks all humans look alike and can't tell the difference. Does that make Mongul racist, or the opposite of racist?

Mongul has broken out of the hi-tech prison where he'd been serving time for destroying a whole city (and driving the previous Green Lantern insane), and now he wants revenge on the superheroes who put him there. The jetpack-wearing guard he interrogates doesn't know where Superman is (it's not like he's famously associated with one city), but he did see a news item about "Green Lantern" fighting a villain in LA, so Mongul steals his jetpack and flies there.

("Some guy"? Way to disrespect Ohm, DC's sensational character find of 1994.)

Meanwhile, the new, non-insane Green Lantern, Kyle Rayner, is taking care of the most important part of being a hero: taking publicity photos at the beach.

Once the photo session is over, Kyle and his girlfriend/PR person, Alex, try to find out what, exactly, his GL ring can do. As far as they can tell it has endless energy, because Kyle's been using it for days without issue and it's not like it came with a battery or something (certainly not one you activate by reciting a corny oath). Also, they already know Kyle is pretty good at flying with it, courtesy of his many hours daydreaming about that as an easily distracted child.

Alex asks Kyle to try to create something he's "intimately familiar with" to see if he can conjure something more elaborate than the simple objects he used during his fight with Ohm. Kyle, who is still a child, projects a 3D model of Alex in a revealing bikini and earns a smack in the head. Apparently, the best use Kyle can think of for his ring right now is "creepy deepfakes."

Within a few hours of practicing, Kyle seems to have mastered the three basic shapes of nature: babes, guns, and motorcycles. Just when Alex suggests giving the ring and Kyle's imagination a break, Mongul comes crashing down on them and easily breaks the green shield Kyle spent hours perfecting.

Mongul says he's gonna kill Kyle (and "his female," while at it) as revenge for "thwarting" him at Coast City, leaving Kyle very confused -- he probably doesn't even know what "thwarting" means.

(Or "raiment," for that matter.)

As Mongul slams Kyle's head into the ground, Doomsday-style, Alex desperately points out that they don't even know who he is. Mongul introduces himself as "The killer of Green Lantern... for there is NO ONE to save him!"

Next issue: SOMEONE arrives to save him!

Plotline-Watch:

I said on the post for GL #50 that I didn't remember if the homeless guy who was sleeping in the alley when Kyle got the ring ever showed up again. Well, he does show up in this issue... for the last time. His name is Joshua P. Turner, and he's seen talking to some agents at a shady government agency (literally shady, it's very dark in there) about what he saw that night. He also says it's his patriotic duty to give them something he found in the alley after Kyle left: some sort of glowing green rock that, as a kid, I assumed to be kryptonite. All he wants in return is a few bucks. Instead, the agents give him a shanking. RIP Joshua P. Turner, the greatest Green Lantern that never was.

Or at least I assume they killed him. We never see the body, so it's perfectly possible that they kidnapped Mr. Turner and ran experiments on him to turn him into a hyper-muscular supervillain. After all, we've already seen this particular agency turn a crippled man into a deranged super soldier...

Before escaping the Slab (the aforementioned hi-tech prison's Jersey Shore-like nickname), Mongul releases all the other prisoners to keep the guards occupied. These include Superman enemy the Atomic Skull, Booster Gold enemy Mindancer, Hawkman enemy Airstryke, and, most prominently, Captain Atom enemy Major Force, who was also seen last issue. Hmm, it's almost like they're telling us that guy is gonna do something important...

Oh yeah, there's also a Khund warrior show's been stuck on Earth since 1988's "Invasion!" crossover, who just wants to thank Mongul for freeing him and tell him he's a big fan of his work. Mongul kills him on the spot, just because he "never liked the Khund." (So Mongul IS racist. Sad.)

The guard that Mongul interrogates/robs mentions that Superman "wasn't seen for a while" (a reference to either "Death of Superman" or the more recent "Mini-Exile in Space" storyline) and then he came back, but there's been "trouble in Metropolis" so he doesn't know where he could be now (definitely a reference to the still ongoing "Fall of Metropolis" storyline, since there's even art of Superman fighting some Lex-Men). Not sure why the guard would think Superman would be anywhere but Metropolis if there was trouble there, though. I like the idea that was trying to protect Superman by playing dumb about his whereabouts, but didn't give a shit about Mongul finding Green Lantern.

This issue establishes that Kyle's GL ring doesn't have the "being charged every 24 hours" limitation, which doesn't mean it never has to be charged, as he'll soon find out. You might get the impression that the ring's weakness against the color yellow is still valid given how easily Mongul destroys Kyle's shield, but nope, that's just because Kyle's doing a terrible job right now.

If any Mongul fanboys from Khundia or elsewhere object to me calling him a Thanos ripoff, take it up with his co-creator, Jim Starlin, who once said: "I wanted to do my Thanos over at DC. But once I got in there, I wanted to do something different, so we got the whole Warworld in there." So he was "Thanos with a Death Star," basically. I wonder if Ron Marz didn't decide to include Mongul in these issues less because of the Hal Jordan connection and more because he was also writing Marvel's Silver Surfer at the same time, which featured Thanos as a villain/supporting character.

On a related subject, I always thought it was cool that, by destroying Coast City, DC's versions of Thanos and Mr. Fantastic (Hank "Cyborg Superman" Henshaw) kicked off a series of events that eventually led to the DC vs. Marvel crossover... which, sadly, didn't feature Thanos meeting Mongul (he has a staring contest with Darkseid instead). Fortunately Darryl Banks drew that scene anyway, for a Jim Starlin Kickstarter:

NEXT: Superman! But first, we find out where Hal Jordan's been hiding... (SPOILERS: in Guy Gardner: Warrior.)

[jev-urisk]

A Musing Monday 🎐

Today I am musing on too many things! 😵‍💫

My brain feels crowded by little rabbit holes and I keep catching myself fully lost in them to the point where im getting salty or spicy or sad over imaginary scenarios. Ive been having more nightmares than usual lately, too. So I guess what im going to muse on today is processing things (I'll leave musing on innovation and the way its weaponized against the working class ((one of the rabbit holes🐰))for another monday)

WHY am I circle-thinking about stuff like 'what would I do if I was stuck in the past?' 'why didnt the industrial revolution provide more ease and profit for every class' or 'how would I convince strong people to protect me if I was in an apocolypse situation?' 😣💫

Now take this with a grain of salt, I may have a psych degree but im not a researcher or anything (just a nerd with autism 🤓); my brain is using fictional scenarios to practice processing🎭🧮. It feels the need to practice because there's a LOT within my brain thats unprocessed right now (hello trauma, hello issues with finding a better job, hello feeling very vulnerable lately). 👋😩

Our brains are solving machines geared to find the answer🤖, and when that answer is not immidiatly available we may experience things like nighmares and intrusive thoughts and maladaptive daydreams to try to get an angle on The Thing thats not processed.🔬

Thinking about The Trauma directly often puts the body in a stress mode thats not condusive to creative problem solving📉. Like being stressed is literally counterproductive to solving bc we go into 🔥survival mode🔥where fight flight etc are The Options Available. Imagining yourself in a historical fiction situation is not a 1-1 ratio to 'what exactly happened when abuse appeared in MY past' and but ya know what, its close enough for our brains to bring it up as a substitute. 🤷

And the fact that our brains have this reaction to The Bad Thing is interesting in itself. 🤔 Why are some bad memories just things that happened, and some are so triggering your mind would rather process terrifying nightmares every night than just.. face The Memory? 🫠 Like it's over, it can't get you now, the past is dead, right?

The solution? Well obviously it looks a bit different for everyone, particularly depending on where you are on your path. 🧭 Like if you have nightmares/intrusive thoughts/maladaptive daydreaming and dont uh... dont have any trauma coming to mind that aint my place to tell you whats next 🤐. I can only really mind my own gourd here and MY next step is Accelarated Resolution Therapy🗃, which is often used with war veterans with ptsd, to store my truama memories in a better, less triggering way. 📈

Well it turns out that memories like to be filed away by our senses 📂. Like memories sit best and retrieve easier (lets take xmas as an example🎄) if you're remembering the smell of xmas dinner, the sound of wrapping paper, the bite of the cold outside and the taste of hot coco✨️. When memories store poorly, as they usually do with trauma 😔, your body is not just remembering- it is acting as if You Are Still There. 💥📍

Infact to prepare for ART, I have had to purposly bring up all my old memories 😬, which has in turn signalled my brain to circle around pseudo truama thoughts when I'm 'at rest' in attempt to solve whats not really 'solvable' and with that weve gone fuuull circle on my musings here lmao ➿️

I got two weeks until that all important therapy session and until then I figure my brain is gonna keep trying to hampsterwheel 🐹🎡, but perhaps my loop will inspire something within you, or help you out of a loop, or perhaps make you realize you’ve been in a silent loop for awhile now.. 🔄👁👁

In anycase, thank your brain for me! Particularly if its doing these things I described above. It's trying so hard to help and protect you 🧠🫶 My apologies for giving it something so tough to chew on this Monday lmao 😅 Stay safe out there 🫂

(I don't have a taglist for my Monday posts yet, hmu if you want to be tagged on these zanny adventures plz)

[crazy56u]

Happy Day After Halloween, the closest we get to a special this year is the LA Riots.

Last week on Quantum Leap: Ben survived Hollywood, but fired Addison. This week? "Poison" and Not-Payless.

"Last week, these were $45, this week, they're $60." Welcome to inflation, lady.

What kind of shoe store closes at 7PM?

"Stop daydreaming, you work for me, you don't get to buy shoes."

Rule of thumb: "Hey, bro?" is a universal question that helps in any situation.

And Ben enters the world of backdoor shoestore dealings.

Oh, hey, they remembered the plot point of Magic buying that jewelry- are he and Beth dating?

So, that's the rub: Magic wanted to retire, but Addison getting fired fucked that up.

"After what you went through last year-" either they already forgot this is supposed to be 2026, or something bad went down in 2025.

And there's about to be a fight in this shoe store.

Okay, not gonna lie, didn't expect to see Addison this week.

"You wanna talk to Ben one more time?" "Ian, I got fired, fuck you."

Ian, Magic has stepped into the Accelerator before, this ain't new for him.

"Wow. Did not see that coming." Well, Ben, you already fired Addison, they don't have many other alternatives.

"LA again. It's almost as if we're handcuffed to California."

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it's LA RIOT TIME!

"Ben… …I don't think this episode's gonna be about shoes much longer…"

[You know what, NBC, you're right, we do need commercials right now after that revelation.]

I wonder what Ben's thoughts are on "Do the Right Thing".

I have a hunch about how Jin dies, and it might involve the kid he threatened to call the cops on.

"We should close early and go home." "Look, I don't care if today's the LA Riots, we stay, and we work. Shoes wait for no man."

And there's that goddamn alley again.

"You know how he feels about this store." Calling it, it gets firebombed.

It's weird how in 1992, your only options were shoes, or the Marines.

"They're saying shelter in place." They are never going to leave this Not-Payless, are they.

"What am I looking at here?" Magic, it's a giant computer-

"The LA riots were the most complicated riots in human history." Well, by 1992, at least.

I really do love how they're trying to keep the relationship bullshit plot active during the LA Riots episode.

"Hey, son. Standing on the roof with a pistol, you know how it is."

"Well, I'm angry, too! It's the LA Riots, who ain't?!"

"You know, you can use the phone back at the store! Honestly, don't know why we left at all, now!"

"Look, fuck these shoes, we need to leave!"

Sorry, Ben, welcome to your prison for the rest of the episode.

"Where are the police?" Honestly, this is a situation where they may make things worse.

"What are our options?" Pray.

"The riots lasted six days. We got 40 minutes left."

"Someone has to protect our store. This is our Assault on Precinct 13."

Oh, great timing, Ziggy- or Beth, either or.

"You thought you weren't getting relationship bullshit this week, did you, Magic? Guess again, fucker."

... ...interesting time to reveal Magic's alcoholism, episode...

You know, while you two are having this conversation, Ben is staring down the barrel of an assault on the shoestore, so, maybe, pick your battles?

Was Beth's only role in the episode to deliver that bottle and leave?

"Hey Ben, sorry about that, had to talk about my alcoholism."

"I don't want him here!" Jin, that may be the deciding point on whether or not you survive the episode.

"Look, Ben, change of plans, fuck the shoestore, and fuck Jin, bolt."

Jesus Christ, how much damage has this shoestore done to this family if shoes are this pervasive in their lives.

"Look, you think it's bad that I want to make custom shoes?! Your other son wants to join the Marines!"

"Look, I don't care if we're in the LA Riots, you're fired! At least I still have one other son- what the fuck do you mean you joined the Marines?!"

"Hey, I'm sorry I narced-" "Look, I think we have bigger issues at hand, here?"

Dwain, you need to pull off some Metal Gear Solid shit right now.

"Well, we looked for five seconds, that's long enough, we're out."

"Hey, so, uh, Ben, I know this ain't a good time to do this- (refuses to elaborate; leaves)"

"We can just stand here in silence if it helps." Honestly, sometimes, that is the best medicine.

Okay, but imagine how much worse things would've gone if Ben leapt into 1967 this week...

The major universal constant: ACAB

"It doesn't matter if it's 1967, '92, or today." The worst thing is you just know how much Magic had to struggle to limit himself to just three points.

"Look, dad, Dwain is here for protection, shut up."

FINALLY someone calls him out about prioritizing the damn store during the LA Riots.

"When did you learn to speak Korean?!" Someone is breaking in, Jin, now's not important.

And now it's "Do the Right Thing".

[Just had to make a bathroom run, luckily I got back just before the commercials ended.]

"Is it over?" 18 minutes being left says otherwise, ma'am.

They took the shoes, can't have shit in LA.

"Damn, they really did a number on this place." Hey, at least it's not on fire.

"Hey, if you even need to talk, I'm right here." "Magic, the same applies to me." "...okay, so-"

And Ben has something else to add to the list of shit he caused by going missing.

"She got me sober. And, excluding a lone bottle, I was doing pretty alright for the past year."

"Look, Magic, I'm at fault, not you, we had that conversation before." "Yeah, but I'm the guy in charge, so I say we share blame."

Meanwhile, the episode remembered Addison exists.

"Is Ben okay?" "Still in the LA Riots, so, you take a guess."

"Ian, I told you, I got fired, I ain't doing shit this episode-" "Addison, Future Me fucked everything up, sidenote, still waiting on us to pick that plot thread back up, so, really, calm down."

"Things are different now. We're still pretending 2023 is 2026."

Sidenote, why does this gym look like it's in the back of a laundromat?

"IAN, WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO, ZIGGY'S HAVING A STROKE!"

So, by helping Dwain, Ben broke the leap, got it.

...Dwain's the one about to die, isn't he...

"Look, you still have your two sons, I'm not the bad guy here." "...I say other wise, how about that?" "Well, fuck you too, how about that?!"

And now it's "Do the Right Thing".

"LOOK, CAN WE PLEASE CALM THE FUCK DOWN, NO ONE NEEDS TO DIE IN THIS SHOE STORE!"

... ... ...I'm trying not to laugh, I swear to fucking God, I'm trying not to laugh...

"Look, when I said no one is dying in this shoestore, I fucking meant it, we need to get Sonny to the hospital."

They need to steal this ambulance, so of course the cops show up to ruin everything.

Jin, no offense, but these guys want to shoot people, so, using yourself as a shield might not work.

Okay, so, somehow that worked.

Dwain, you're driving an ambulance, so, hopefully you're gassing it.

Okay, good, at least we get confirmation Sonny survives.

And there's three minutes left so, for lack of a better phrase, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

...ah, the other shoe was AA, alright.

And Ben leaps into Tracer Bullet, and has to deal with another man getting shot.

"GODDAMNIT, I DIDN'T WANT A GUY TO DIE THIS WEEK!"

[Two weeks from now, Ben fights a Nazi.]

You know, it's odd how heavily-shoe focused the LA Riots episode was...

[danpuff-ao3]

I wish I was a writer who wrote more. I put more obstacles on myself than words on the page

Ooh! What obstacles are you facing, Anon?

Writing is hard. And we all have what works for us. Sometimes our inspiration and motivation wax and wane. The words might come easy some days, or not at all others. That's alright.

It's also valid and normal to want to be "more", whatever we see as "more." I wish I wrote more, but really I probably write plenty enough as it is. I wish I wrote better. There are so many beautiful writers I envy! Such gorgeous prose! And plot! I wish I could do a great plot, but I always veer more towards hype focusing on characters way more than plot. At times I wish I had it in me to write great epics, but that's not really me.

It's okay if you see what others do, or what others have, and want it. But it doesn't do much good to hyper fixate on that and go on a downward spiral of "why can't/why don't I?" What are your strengths? What are your interests? What works for you?

Is mental health getting in your way? You might need to address those first. Therapy and medication and doctor's visits might not be feasible, but if they are, do that. If not, do what you can do to take care of yourself. Take walks, journal, listen to music, eat well, stay hydrated, clean your space, talk to friends, whatever helps.

Is it stress? Is it life stress? Again: take care of yourself! If stress is in your way, you probably won't get far while it's still there.

Is it stress about the writing itself? Why are you stressed? Are there any stressors you can take away? Unless you're writing for money (and if you're in my inbox, I doubt that's the case), there's no real need to stress about it. Again: it's normal and valid to stress, but it's okay if you can't perform right now.

Is it a deadline? Are you writing for someone? Is it self-imposed pressure? What can you do to take away as much of what's stressing you as possible? Do that! If it means asking for extensions or taking breaks or changing tracks, do that! It's okay.

Is it lack of focus? Lack of time? Focus issues could be a health issue, so address those as stated above. But there are ways of creating more structure around your writing that might be beneficial. Make a schedule! What will work for you? Maybe an hour after work you dedicate to writing. Write all that you can in that time. And whatever you manage in that timeframe is a win! And if you dedicate a little time every day, that's progress! Even if it's only on weekends, that's better than nothing!

Are you on Discord servers? Maybe writing sprints will help. I know lots of fandom servers have sprinting bots and people who do writing sprints. Maybe the community aspect will help, or having a space and people with which to hold yourself accountable.

Maybe a word count goal will help? Personally that doesn't help me, but it works for some people. Say you make a goal to write 500 words a day, no matter what. However good or bad. At least it's writing. And you can always edit/fix it up later. Just throw it all at the wall and clean it up afterwards.

Maybe it helps to remember that all progress you make on your story "counts" as writing, be that work on an outline, jotting notes, research, daydreaming, brainstorming with friends, etc. It counts! Might not be "words" but it counts towards writing! It's progress. It's an accomplishment. You're allowed to feel good about that!

Anyway, the point is, I think all us creatives struggle in our own ways. Especially the more we care about what we do. I don't know very many people who do it purely for fun without a care in the world. And not gonna lie, I envy them sometimes! But you're not alone, which can help to remember.

I don't know if any of this blathering was helpful to you, but my inbox is always open if you need. And in the meantime, I'm sending you all the good writing vibes! May the muses be with you, Anon!

[reds-ultrakill-brainrot]

Hello! I'd like to ask for a music match please :)

My pronouns are they/him (he/him preferred atm), I'd like to get matched for Gabriel (I headcanon him as trans, and that he's insecure about his face a little bit so he wears the helmet! I think it's lovely)

I... Don't entirely know where to start. On the positive, I'm a big fan of music, I love art, I looooove machines. I really wish I was one; the kind of vibes I would give would be immaculate.

I'm big into like, either the most sopping wet pathetic men imaginable, or women who could probably like, crush my skull or something. Don't know why.

On the negative, I've got DID (two alters but they almost never show up), really bad memory loss & migraines, and a complete lack of understanding of myself. Each new day is like learning I'm a different person all over again, and I kind of mold to the people around me, but this is getting better with help.

Additionally, I'm very insecure and I've got a bit of a savior complex. I love dark themes in media, but need a happy ending or I'll cry. I need a good amount of validation or I'll totally fall apart (once again, also getting better with help!!!), but I'm very open & communicative about my needs and willing to negotiate things with people.

I love music with themes of rebellion and attitude, and I love a good story about sticking it to the man and going your own way. In media, I've always loved seeing stories of tragic heroes falling at their own hands but being swept up by someone stronger and sturdier than them, even if it's just for the moment. I've seen myself in the weak one, and I've always wanted to be the strong one.

I've always wanted to save someone from the same situation I was in when I was young, and that's carried onto my adult life. I think this carries into my taste of music and partners; I can't handle anything too happy, or it feels fake. There are very few people who I comfortable with being overly positive towards me.

My life is almost defined by labels. Without them, I would feel lost. I wouldn't be able to just point to a section of the DSM-V and go "oh, right there, that's me."

Silly note, I am mad autistic and start crazy stimming and squealing whenever I hear either a honking bicycle horn, or the KLING of a coin as it's being flipped. I also like to gnaw on things, I'm the guard dog of my friends, and I constantly flip between insanely high-energy and insanely low-energy.

Gen really sorry if this is wonky or too much at all, I'm not good with these... Tysm :))) Also, I'm an INFP-T and an Aries, if either of those help!!!

- TT

♫♪.ılılıll Gabriel Music Match llılılı.♫♪

INFP-T Aries He/Him/They/Them Alias-TT

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

1. Remember My Name - Mitski a song about feeling valued for what you give others and feelings of inadequacy both past and present. i feel both you and Gabriel would connect over this. for him, his entire creation and purpose was centred around his service to heaven, the council and ultimately the Father. losing this along with his trust in the council and the belief in his creator would undoubtably leave him with questions about his own worth now he was unwilling/unable to fulfill his duties. for what is the fate of an angel scorned by Heaven? "just how many stars will i need to hang around me to finally call it heaven?"

2. Til We Run Out Of Air - Hatchie a song for the saviour complex in you. ultimately about hope after dark times, this is sure to prompt a happy daydream/scenario or two. this song also has parts alluding to self worth issues, which as previously mentioned could be applicable to either of you. true connection and compassion untied to his performance of his duties or role in Heaven is something Gabriel is truly unfamiliar with, but now he has you. you're here for the ups and downs, not keen to give up on him so quickly. "to spend your whole life as your enemy such a crime"

3. Lovesong - The Cure seeing Gabriel struggle with emotions/feelings you similarly have delt with, you recognise and empathise with him in a way that was never provided for him before. i feel this song could apply both ways, your love and care give him the motivation to continue to find his own purpose and worth, and for you he would provide the same compassion in return. as you mentioned appreciating validation the repeated admissions of love could once again go both ways, depending on how you feel at the it might help to imagine this is him talking to you, or you to him. "whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel like i am whole again"

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

i apologise for the lack of overtly punk/rebellious music, however finding songs that were about a relationship in some way that fit that theme and weren't about unhealthy dynamics was very difficult. that being said i hope you like what i came up with, and if you want an additional 3 songs please feel free to send in another request. also apologies again if i sound clinical/uncaring when i speak about insecurity or similar negative self ideals/perceptions, i'm being direct about what i see patterns/connections with. thank you for reading

[golbrocklovely]

i’m the anon that sent that shifting n stuff ask! so your college experience counts as shifting (like 100%) and i’d love to hear it!!personally on the fence about the legit science side of it, since small things like the berstein bears and little timeline tweaks I think could be real, and ppl having strong emotional reactions are obviously smthg unless theyre lying (but they dont have a reason to really, and theyre living w the stress of what feels like gaslighting to them). but the tiktok -🌟

see this issue i have of calling what i experienced as "shifting" is i was very much awake and living my life when it happened. hell, even someone else i knew said things felt different (i'll explain in the story) so to me, this wasn't like a very vivid daydream or dream even. but i also can't completely explain what happened logically.

okay, here's what i experienced many moons ago, where i think we switched onto a different timeline.

this is super long and weirdly timely so... strap in lol

how i always described this situation to those that wanted to know about it: imagine taking any room in your house. you have all the time in the world to memorize everything about it. the furniture, the lights, everything. imagine i tell you to leave that room for a couple minutes, and then come back. you do that, and when you come back i tell you that something about this room is now missing. it's up to you to figure out what is no longer there. now, it could be as noticeable as a couch or a chair, right? or... it could a quarter that was under the rug that you didn't know about. that's how annoying this whole thing felt. you know something's different. but you don't know what it is.

this was november of 2017. i was in college. to give a brief run down of my sleeping schedule at the time, i would leave for school (bc i commuted) around 8 am, get there at 9, and then stay at school until 5 pm. then i would get home around 6/7, depending on traffic, and pass out almost immediately. then i'd wake up anywhere around 1-3 am, do homework and whatnot and then literally stay up the entire time until the next day at 6/7 pm again. if i was lucky, i could nap at school (bc my dad worked at my university and i could sleep in his office) or if i didn't have homework i could sleep until the next day when i would have to get ready for school.

so it's safe to say my sleeping schedule was ass lol

i just came home, it was a monday. i think i stayed up a bit later, worked on an art project for school, and then went to sleep around 8/9 pm. i remember falling asleep, i remember deciding i was going to sleep.

i woke up around 3 in the morning. that wasn't odd, i usually always wake up throughout the night. however when i woke up, i was confused as all hell. i didn't have a weird dream, if anything i didn't really dream at all, and when i woke up i just felt really confused, like my room looked different to me or something.

i remember saying out loud, "something feels off", and then i went back to sleep. i slept until the morning when i had to get up, bc i had no other homework that night.

on tuesdays (from what i can remember now since this was so long ago at this point), i would have a 9 am bio class, then i would have a couples hours off, and the around 1 or so, i would go to my art class. i remember distinctively carrying a big ass portfolio to school, or into my dad's office on these days. thursdays, i had a similar schedule. the only difference being i didn't have art, i had a bio lab instead that was a bit later than the art class. this is all important to the story.

i go to school on tuesday, take my portfolio to my dad's office, leave it there, and then go to my biology class. class is normal, nothing out of the ordinary. now, to give you an exact date or time frame of when this all took place, we had a WEEK before thanksgiving break. and i knew my professor wanted our last class together to be a quiz or a test. and our break started on wednesday the following week.

and i remember half way thru class sitting there, wondering why she was teaching us all of this new material when we should have been taking a test. class ended, she said "see you on thursday" and i remember almost raising my hand to say "thursday is thanksgiving". it took me a solid 30 seconds to realize OH, i'm thinking of the wrong dates. it's not the week of thanksgiving, it's the week before.

i started walking back to my dad's office and i thought to myself "what else do i have to do today? nothing, right? i don't have any other classes." (to addon, on mon/wed/fri i only had one class). i get back to my dad's office, see my portfolio and go OMG dumbass, you have art. it was literally the only homework you worked on last night. you always have two classes on tues/thurs.

i was very confused, but shrugged it off. however, i want it to be noted that while i can be forgetful sometimes, when i was in school, i really wasn't. i was on top of my school work and never once need an extension bc i made sure to know when things were due. so to be a week off time wise was really confusing.

fast forward a bit, it's time for my art class. the one thing i LOVED about my campus was that we had flowers all over that were just absolutely gorgeous. i'll even insert the one photo i took of these flowers from a month before this event happened to me (also, ain't creepy that it's also from a tuesday??? also also i had to ss this from snapchat lol):

so as i'm walking to class, i have to pass by these flowers. they looked like this ^^^ literally the day before, and i just generally loved walking by them when i would go on that side of campus.

i stopped dead in my tracks. they were all dead.

they looked burned, like someone had set them ablaze. like, usually when plants like these die there is at least some petals left on the ground. maybe shriveled up and whatnot, but proof that they were once vibrant flowers. i'm telling you, they were all gone and there was no petals anywhere. it was so eerie to me that i felt really creeped out.

i went to class, nothing else really happened. i asked my friend if she felt off that day, and she said no. i went home after my class, repeated the cycle of sleeping and then getting up late.

on wednesdays, i had my one class mid way thru the day, so usually i would spend my mornings going to the library and working on bio lab stuff (which would be due the next day). so i did that, went to my usual spot, started working on my lab. i get a text around 10/11 ish by my friend from my art class (that was also in the same major as me, theater). and she told me the cast list was posted for our final show. this was my senior year and this would have been my last chance to perform. i had only perform twice, and really wanted to get in something else before graduating.

she sent me the cast list, and i didn't make it into anything. i was taken aback bc the director, who was also my adviser, had praised my song choice and thought i sounded excellent and basically kissed the ground i walked on after my audition, which is something that she never did before.

and the thing is, i had not been casted before. so this wasn't new to me. but literally every time, i would cry. it meant a lot to me to be included so when i wasn't i just felt terrible, so i would always cry. i remember digging my nails into my palm and tears welling up in my eyes. i remember looking around at everyone in the library, already feeling embarassed that i was gonna cry publicly. i closed my eyes, and took a really deep breath.

and suddenly, all of the sadness i felt went away immediately. like in a snap, i was suddenly okay. hell, i was more than okay. i was… happy.

not to be too sad sounding, but i'm never happy. well, it's very rare for me to be genuinely, deeply happy. especially back then when i was at one of my lowest and most depressed. but i sincerely was so happy, so relieved. i sped thru my bio lab somehow, left the library early, and when i walked back to my dad's office, i was fucking GIDDY. you ever see in movies when someone's in a good mood they point and wave at strangers?? i was, honest to god, thisclose to doing that bc that's how HAPPY I WAS.

i was deeply confused by all of this tho. bc none of it made sense. how did i forget what week it was so quickly and think i was a week ahead? how did i get over the heartache of missing out on the final chance i had to perform? it was like a week had passed in my mind, and that's why my emotions - anger, sadness, shame, you name it - were all gone within a second.

i genuinely believe that we somehow jumped a week in time. now granted, you could probably chalk a lot of this up to me just being in a weird headspace, forgetting things bc stress, my depression, terrible sleeping habits, ect. i get it. i've gone thru all of those scenarios myself, even to this day.

but the ONE THING that makes me think this actually happened…. is my mom. fast forward to mid decemeber, i remember it was when i was off but my dad wasn't, so me and mom were driving up to my university to pick up my dad from work. i was talking to her about my life and school and whatever. idk what we were talking about exactly, but i said to my mom "i feel like something has shifted. like something changed."

she agreed with me. "yeah, things feel really off anymore." i told her that i've felt this way for a while. and then my mom goes, "have you been feeling this way since the week before thanksgiving? bc that's when i started to feel it."

imma be honest, i don't believe in conspiracy theories. i'm not one to jump the gun on shit like this, but clearly something happened. i'm not sure what, but something changed for me back then. and i think it's bigger than just me and the ppl immediately around me. but that's just how i feel about it.

this was very long and i'm really sorry if this was boring to read lol

[brainrot-stitch]

Thinking of simpler times.. (rant/vent ig)

It's nice just to like

Be able to lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling and hear the crickets outside and no electronic noises. It reminds me of the 2 hurricanes that happened a few yrs back, and like I know it's fucked up to think about because it was horrible, but at the same time it was nice in a way idk how to describe well. It was miserable and hot but I was with family and didn't have to worry or stress about people or grades.. we just kinda existed for a while. I don't want more hurricanes to happen, that would be crazy, but I miss what came after.

Idk I think I've just been getting worked up over a lot of stuff recently and ik other people have it like so so much worse so I don't rlly like to complain abt it, especially in the gc, but nights like these where it's dark and quiet and calm just really get to me I guess. Nights where I can just think about everything and cry before I have to wake up the next day and repeat everything over and over and over. Every day is so bland and numb with sudden spikes of panic mixed in and at the end of the day I barely remember it. I don't remember so so much of my life that I think I should, and I don't know why I just forget. Weather something good or something bad happens I know it will eventually be faded and forgotten just as I will one day.

I'm not really big on being remembered, I've come to accept the fact of mortality and there will be a day where we will each be thought of for the last time and that is when we're truly gone. But for the short amount of time I am remembered, I don't want to be remembered like this. Like who I am and what I do and how I act right now. I don't know what I want to be remembered like, but it's not this.

There's so many issues that seem like the end of the world, that feel inescapable, and I know they're not. I feel like I'm either just being dramatic or gaslighting myself into believing they're bigger issues than they already are. Anything could send me into a spiral that night, from the smallest issue to the biggest one. Even if not, they still have an effect on my day to day life and I don't know how to fix it. And other people are always either confused or upset but they don't understand, and I don't know how to help them understand.

It's hard to care about my grades when there is literally no point and all I do is rot all day. Even if I did care I'm not smart enough to get a college tuition, and we definitely can't pay for it ourselves. They say it's gonna leave a permanent mark that people will see on my resume, but there is a good likelihood I won't make it past adulthood with the way things are going, so why should that matter. Plus it's so so hard to focus. Even if I try I get distracted or start daydreaming or The Thoughts come back. And people will say "oh just pay attention" or "just don't daydream duh" and I cant. Like I physically cannot I am unable to do so. Plus the daydreams happen at random half the time and then I'm not in school anymore I'm in another world and everything's either going really well with things I wish would happen irl or everything is going absolutely horribly and u can't stop it. They're like "just do your work it's not that hard" I hear what you're saying but you're not hearing me bro. I can't 'just do it' and nobody seems to understand that except specific strangers on the internet.

There's other issues too but I am too scared to share them on tumblr rn and I know this may seem kinda dumb but if I live on this will affect me for life but it's so so numb and I'm so SO tired allll the time and sleep never helps at all and I literally just rot all day...

Literally the only reason I take care of myself at this point is so people don't judge me and idk if that's normal or not but I'm assuming it's not.. like if I have to go somewhere ill take a shower and brush my teeth and wash my face and put on perfume n shit but if not I will have a 'self care day' but idk if it's self care if the only thing I do is rot in bed all day and only get up to go to the bathroom or (sometimes) get food/water. I sleep so much and the days all blur together and it's so so so soo bad in summer. I think I have like reverse seasonal depression bc like when it's cold and dark and raining I THRIVE like never before (even if the constant tired doesn't go away, even if everything still sucks and I still hate the people I care about the most) it's just so nice. But in summer when it's hot and miserable and humid and my ac doesn't work and you can feel the mosquitos it is such a fucking low for me idk how to even describe it. When when we get the 2 months off for summer break it's so bad bro I think that's one of my lowest points excluding being in school when it's hot. If I didn't have church I know I would go those 2 months and not take care of myself at all and ik it sounds gross and it is and I hate it but why even try if I just fucking rot on my bed like a useless ass beached whale.

The crickets are gone

I miss them 💔

I don't get why it's so hard to sleep when I'm so so fucking tired or why I rot all day or why I'm so fucking angry and irritable all the time for no reason and it sucks ass tbh. And idk why I can't fucking do things like normal people can or why I think differently or why my thoughts are so fucked up and I disappoint the people I love. I don't really wanna do this anymore, I don't wanna be here much longer, but I know I have to because if I do it it'll break them in ways they will never be able to fix, and I don't wanna be that selfish. I want to help people, I want to be confident, and I wanna make people smile. I want to be able to ignore the daydreams, to block out the characters in my head and The Thoughts that I hate so much, and I wanna stop doing shit like this when I don't deserve it.

But sometimes all you can do is find a cold, dark, and quiet place, and think for a while.

Sorry for the long post gang, see yall with a silly goofy post another day <3

[itsmarlboro]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ“ Gardenia ”

Based on the flower shop au I mentioned before. Really silly because I just want them to be happy.

Wednesday. He wasn't able to remember the number but he was sure it was between 25 or 27. It didn't matter, either way.

Maybe the old man would nag him for being so forgetful and not taking proper notes in the huge red, and already worn out, book he had in the desk but that was something he would take care of by the end of the week. As of now, the issue was different.

Xue Yang started working at this vintage flower shop about two mo the ago, or so —because yes, he wasn't sure either which day was the first—, and it was good so far. Yes, leaving school was probably not the best idea if he was aiming for a brilliant future full of money and success but, honestly? too many useless information he was not having it, at all. Maths? as long as he could sumn up all the numbers when eating outside and being able to rest the amount he needed to pay daily bills it was fine. He didn't need to know about finding the X in some weird and complicated equations. He wasn't going to be an architect or an engineer. Same with the rest of the subjects, too much information.

He could just take five minutes to read articles on Internet and he would probably learn more than staying for eight hours straight sitting on a chair and listening to those old gags. Besides his attention span was too short.

To make it simple, he found the store the very same day he quit school and decided to give it a go. The location was perfect as well, the corner was well hidden and the neighbourhood was there since the past centuries probably, the building and houses had a victorian style, bricks exposed, wooden double doors at the entrances, the small gardens giving the feeling he was outside the city; like little and cozy cottages.

The flower shop was the same. The wooden floor would creak every now and then depending on the pressure, the wall at the left was just exposed bricks of an already faded red, some landscapes paintings were hang alongside floating shelves with a few pots with cactuses. The rest, which was the front and right wall that faced the street, were of complete glass, like windows. It was perfect to give all the flowers the good exposure to the people passing by.

And Xue Yang thought it was actually cozy on winter. The weak sunlight would warm up the place just about right, he felt himself like a plant during the photosynthesis. It was laughable, indeed.

It was summer, anyway. And no, it wasn't hot. It was never past the 30 degrees and the light breezes were quite fresh. It was a really good Wednesday, in fact. He knew it was about to get slightly better. His grey eyes surveyed the coffee shop that was right in front of the store, and just like every Friday and Sunday, there he was.

The young man sat at the same table, facing the window so he could look through it and watch the few pedestrian crossing, the stray cats and dogs passing by and getting pat while, sometimes, looking down to the usual black notebook, scribbling something Xue Yang wished he could take a peak at. Today, he was dressed casually, a white loosen shirt — v-shaped neck, three buttons just for the decoration and poet sleeves—, light brown high-waisted trousers and, as weird it looked like, he was wearing urban sneakers of a white colour as well. His black hair was tied up in a ponytail and a few lock of hairs framing his delicate face.

Xue Yang was losing it. He noticed that absolute beauty a couple of weeks ago when he was getting bored of some women trying to hit him up. He was spacing out when his eyes caught up a slim figure dressed in a similar style, moving so gracefully Xue Yang thought he was daydreaming. And then he started to pint point the days that man would stop by that coffee shop. Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. But that's all he could do, truthfully speaking. And it was enough, yeah, a bit sad because he wished he could just cross the street, say hi to that man and maybe, with a tiny bit of luck, he could get those romances like in movies. However, it was real life.

The store was running out of red roses and purple hydrangeas, he needed to take quick note before forgetting about it or the old man would get really pissed off, even more when he usually forgets to put the correct date. The door opened and, as soon as he finished writing, his grey eyes saw him. The beauty.

The young boy was surveying every single flower, as if unsure of what to pick, a bit lost probably due to the amount of options he had in front. Xue Yang thought it was the best chance, the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go and talk to him, to start the conversation and what's better than flowers. He fucking learnt the language too, so he could help some clients with perfect bouquets, yes, it was now or never.

Breath in and out. Xue Yang closed the distance between them and the third breath got stuck midway. His pale skin, a pair of moles hidden on his collarbone, the long and thick eyelashes protecting those big black eyes. Inadvertently, he let out a sigh, he was completely at loss of words, his mind wandered off, daydreaming about silly things. He thought of gardenias, because after seeing him up close, Xue Yang was sure that he was out of league, so keep his crush as secret was, maybe not so, the best idea.

ㅤㅤㅤ “Excuse me,” the man said, his voice was so soothing, like floating on the sky covered in cotton candy. “I was hoping you could help me with a bouquet.”

And smiled. Xue Yang was hissing, internally obviously.

ㅤㅤㅤ “Sure,” he replied, it sounded so dried but it just his brain was probably fried. “Just tell me what you want to say and I will show you the perfect flowers.”

He thought of gardenias, again.

— - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - x x x x - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - —

ps: it's bad, and too long, but since it's highly possible no one's gonna find this, I'm giggling with this because I love it and I love them.

[22degreehalo]

Something that I’d really like to do, that I think is actually on the more achievable side for me, is an interactive fiction game I’ve been mentally calling ‘ADHD Simulator.’

Do you remember Depression Simulator, from the mid 2010s? The one that GamerGate theoretically sorta started around? The whole premise of that was that you were playing from the perspective of someone with depression, but the obviously ‘correct’ options (like asking for help etc.) were all greyed out, representing that even if you knew that was the best and healthiest thing to do, you just didn’t have the energy or stability to do them. 

It was a great message, but as was pointed out by a few people, that still left you the option with the next best/healthiest choice (like spending time with other people rather than alone), which did indeed give you the best ending if you consistently chose them. So arguably, the greyed out choices didn’t really make much gameplay difference.

For years now I’ve sorta had in my head a vision of a version of that where no choices are greyed out, but the ‘right’ choices are actually completely unpredictable and messy. Like, maybe pushing yourself to do something difficult is good for you one day, but another day it just elevates your stress levels so high you get nothing done. Daydreaming about your hyperfixation instead of doing work or talking to people actually is fulfilling and good and calming and makes everything better.

The whole point is to represent what is honestly one of the biggest issues with ADHD to me: the unpredictability, and the difficulty explaining it all to other people. It seems obvious that procrastinating doing something difficult is a bad thing, but what if you genuinely can barely concentrate on one sentence at a time right now, and there really is a good chance that reading will be easier later? But then you also raise your chance to forget entirely and not do it at all. These are the sorts of decisions I have to make in my head constantly, many many many times per day, and unless you can experience the unwinnability of it all yourself, IDK how to make it clear that it’s not just that I don’t know the right thing to do.

The way it works I think is that it all works against an energy/motivation/stress meter. Whenever you do something, you’re notified how much it’s probably going to impact the meter, and if your tension goes too high or whatever you freeze up and can only stumble through unthinkingly through the rest of the day. But sometimes things unexpectedly add a lot of stress (like, checking your hobby social media causes you to see a Bad Take that makes you feel awful about yourself) or vice versa, and sometimes things just happen without need for any choice at all, while at others even things like ‘get up and have a shower’ require a choice and added stress.

There’s other narrative meaning in the choices, too. Sometimes something seems like it should be a choice, but the option never comes up, like you’re prepared for an option to remember to do something later but then the scene just happens and then your character is berating themselves for not doing it and not being able to explain why. Because that’s what forgetting is actually like. Or sometimes when something is really gruelling, I can ask the player to repeatedly make tedious choices over and over (like ‘give up’ vs ‘read the next line’ 20 times in a row). Or when trying to think of what to do right now, I can overload the player with 30 options, only two of which - buried in the sea of unimportant trivial shit - are actually ‘healthy’ or ‘important’ ones.

I first came up with the idea a few years back when I was looking for law jobs and I’ve always imagined it having that setting: you’re living at home, sending out job applications into the uncaring void with 0 clue if it’s doing anything at all, while also balancing friends and family and your hyperfixation. In my plan, at the end of the week (or whatever time), you get notified that an application you put in three months ago has lead to a job. Nothing ‘productive’ you did that week actually made any difference at all. And your ‘best’ ending - the one where you’re happiest and feel the best about yourself and your life - comes from repeatedly choosing to daydream and write fanfic rather than the most straightforwardly ‘healthy’ choices. Because that happened to me, and that is indeed what I think most fondly about when I look back on that time.

[starwell-tarot]

hello darling!!! 🐿️🐢

hope your gloomy day still went pretty well, tell me about it!

some advice i can concentrate better on - as a mentionned yesterday it is definitly true that i like challenge and i got motivated by the idea of trying to find a way to make concentrating in class smth stimulating for my brain ofc i still need to find ways to it right but its a really charming idea to me! i also need to focus at home and get work done there to be able to concentrate better in class so its a whole process that im ready to try out with the method your proposed to me

motivation - feeding my soul, how poetic wow it is true that im very lucky to study what im studying rn and its actually stuff that are useful in life and if i dont find it interesting then maybe it can still be informations that i can share with others right? there is an enormous amount of material in every law classes so i wont be able to memorize everything but your advice made me see things differently and i actually want to try to remember most of it on the LONG TERM and not only for exams! once again it is an advice that really speaks to me and that i will think about when studying

balance - i actually LOVE lists/ plannings/ etc like writing everything i want to do for the day and packing my schedule with many different stuff like seeing many friends, doing productive stuff for school, doing my hobbies it really helps me see how i spend my time and share out the different things i do (so i dont do the same thing over and over again) and i cant believe i FORGOT about it like i actually stopped doing it and i forgot i am so grateful for this advice

relationships - my friends often complain that i dont share intimate things with them like my daily problems and all but i actually just dont see what they could do about it? anyway i still struggle with these things i'll try to question myself more often to see whats the right thing to do for everyone when im in a bad spot like you adviced

avoid stress - im really not good at dealing with negative emotions lmaooo its also gonna be a challenging point i'll try to believe as much as i can that stress is not an end its just a signal just like you said once again thank you for your works i'll try my best

self care - its so beautiful! i live in the city so im not that much in contact with nature but its true that whenever i go help my grandmother in the countryside it feels refreshing i just need more time to do so! now that i know its smth that could help me i'll keep that in mind and prioritize doing in these situations! im a taurus after all! even tho earth is only my third dominant element im an earth sign lmao

words of encouragement - everyone seems to be wrong about everything its crazy ajkdhdbnzev i really should be more humble its a problem but anyway yes even tho i think some people are stupid deep down i'll still take their opinion into consideration just in case when in fact i shouldnt with your advice i'll try to accept that sometimes peoples advices just arent for me and maybe they'll help someone but its not my case! thanks

daydreaming - yes in my experience heavy daydreaming has been because STRESS, bored in my life and obligations i have that i dont want to do the problem is that it really put me in problematic positions everything comes down to stress at the end so if i understand how to deal with my stress i wont feel the need to escape like this :/ i'll definitily think about your advice and when i notice im starting to daydream heavily ill try to ask myself why and to resolve the issue

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR READING!!!!! everything really spoke to me and ill make sure to apply it well in my life from now on i'll think about your kind words and do my best!

Hello! My gloomy day was comfy 😁

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a lengthy feedback 🖤 it means a lot and it's very helpful.

I'm also glad to hear you're enjoying the perspectives and ideas the cards gave 🤔

I went on a whim with the challenge thing and then I was like ... Wait a sec .. didn't they say they have Aries placements? It just clicked at that point. I knew i was right on the money 😂

I was so taken aback by that high priestess card. Truth be told I too had the same mentality in high school! I studied just to know things. To grow wiser as an individual. (Went to a science college (it's a high school despite the name)) So I can kinda see it! Law is very very broad of a subject and there's a lot to study. But it's also so so useful in life! I actually had some law students save my ass when I had a very bad boss at a workplace once they helped me with the contract lol So yeah i definitely think you can become very wise as a law student!

Glad I can help you get back to your lists, too! And uhm, I don't think any human is ever GOOD at dealing with negative emotions. I mean, they're meant to make us uncomfortable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But being gentle and understanding and honest with yourself does make it better!

And I mean yes I see your point. Maybe your friends will not be able to DO anything about your problems but here's the thing. Keeping things hidden creates more stress in the human mind. It's like an extra layer. It's not just "I'm frustrated and confused" It's "I'm frustrated, confused, and keeping it to myself." If you talk to someone, it gets easier 😁 Plus, talking about what goes on inside your mind can actually put you on the spot in such a way you unconsciously organize your thoughts and find the answers yourself. (Like those scenes in movies when a character goes to rant to another one and they literally spend the entire time talking to themselves, giving themselves advice and thanking the other person although they did absolutely nothing 😂)

Literally when I was doing your reading i had "Go touch some grass, bro." In my head 😂 But yes, as an earth sign you probably could feel so much more grounded and peaceful if you interact with nature. 😁

And just wanted to remind you I answered your ask about the double interpretation tarot reading and you can send it to me anytime!

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

I do I do! Oh my God I love “British football” so much, I’m using that from now on. I play soccer, but we call it football here! I’m a goalkeep, which is shocking because I’m so short lol. And, I mean, not to brag but I think I’m pretty good for someone my height 😌

Yeah, it was so stupid. Not that I’ve learned my lesson because I’m most definitely going to keep climbing like a little squirrel hunting for acorns, but I’ll just be a liiiiiitle more careful. Ooh, yeah, you definitely gotta be more careful when living alone. Hopefully you’ve been safe and alright til now.

Omg thank you! You’ve reminded me that I need to finish the new Rick and Morty season. I’ve only watched the first two episodes hehe. I haven’t heard of most of these, but I’ll definitely give em a try! Agh, I’ve been meaning to watch Bojack Horseman since the third season came out. Is it really as good as people say it is? Like, is it worth watching all six seasons?

Aw, Grim! That’s so cute! You must have such a wonderful and creative imagination. Wow. I feel you with the nail polish 100%, I love bright and fun colours, all the glitters and metallics, like… If it’s shiny or bright, it is going on my nails.

I’m so happy you had a good time with your friends and that you wrote two chapters!! I cant wait to read it!!

:0 what a plot twist Grim!! I didn’t expect being asked a question in return aaah! I have to think about that… Oh, jeez okay, I had this dream back in high school, but I still remember it so clearly haha. In grade 12 we had this huge project we needed to do for our music final, and I was putting in so many hours towards it that I dreamt about it! I dreamt that all of Guns and Roses and Queen (don’t ask, long story) came to record vocals and guitar for my project and they kept getting it wrong so the girl who was working on the project with me kicked them out and I was like “omg you can’t just do that that’s queen and gnr omg…” lol. So I went and apologised to them and we had tea together. It still haunts me HAHAHA

And now time for your questions! *rubbing hands together evily* Which season is your favourite? Do you have a specific scent you love? Vinyls or CDs? What was your least favourite subject in school and why? 🎤

MIC ANOOOOOONNNNN wazzzaaapppp. GLAD to talk to you!!

yeah you just keep on climbing. youve gotta keep going no matter what. just keep being yourself and active and the best goalkeep your team has ever experienced.

lmfaoooo yes nothings changed. i still daydream just as much as i used to as a kid and its wonderful. i wouldnt wanna be any other way. so glad we share the love for glitter nail polish!!! im actually about to paint them right now. im thinking this iridescent kinda translucent blues gonna look sexy

i haven't watched the new season of Rick And Morty either cause then it'll be finished and im fr a fiend. im in love with Rick its disgusting really. classic daddy issues.

anywayssss about Bojack, honestly its very much worth it, in my humble opinion, but the third and fourth season are kind of the seasons you have to get through to get to the flipside of the show, which starts to get REAL as fuck during seasons five and six. then when its done youre just kinda sitting there like damn...........

GNR AND QUEEN are literally two of my favourite bands of all time. i mean, i have A LOT of favourite bands but i had a severe fixation on GNR in highschool to the point where like i know the band member's grandmothers names and shit. i asked this question because its a question i like to ask people to break the ice in conversations. i was also curious about yours!! EVERYONE has a dream that they remember, for some reason, one that just stuck. and its always from early childhood too.

ok questions time......heeeehehohhoooohhooo.......my favourite season is spring. it used to be autumn but the last two autumns ive been sort of too stressed about the pending doom of winter and halloween has kind of sucked too (even if halloween is every day of the year for me) so i have officially decided that spring is my favourite season. its fall but flipped. love the wetness and the flowers blooming. the smells. the anticipation for the summer. the way the ice melts. its sensual.

a scent i love GOD. my favourite scent of all time is clean laundry. if i go to hug you and you smell like fabric softener i will be so bricked up itll be awkward for the both of us. i sometime seek it out in those cotton scented candles and shit. although i love it so much, i never seem to smell it on myself, even if i rub bounce sheets on my fuckin sweaters. guess its kind of like when you go to someones house. you smell their smell but then you come home and you cant smell your smell.

i have a special place in my heart for CDs cause i grew up with those but i have a lot of vinyls and no CDs cause storing CDs is more annoying than storing vinyls to me...... i know its weird cause vinyls are bigger but the texture of them is better.

aaaanddd my least favourite subject in school was math. no surprises there. not even cause i was bad at it, i was pretty good, when i wanted to be. but i went to an arts school so the teachers in math were always so pissed off lol. no one gave a shit about math class to the point where the teachers would just give up and sit at their desks to do their own thang while we just fucked around

ok question for you...... whats something kind youve done for someone recently?

[foolishanddumb]

12/21 Crushes and life

Hello world,

It is me again. Hope you all are well. Todays vent is crushes and my possible inability to love/I don’t know if I’m doing it right. There are so many ways I can start this, but I’ll begin with this, I have this one friend, I’ve known them for years and for almost half of those years I had a crush on them, or at least I think I did. Now, I’ve sort of moved on, but there’s always that thought in the back of my mind you know?

My friends always tease me about it, because you know it’s stupid and pathetic that I’ve been crushing on a person for that long. Which I’ll admit it was, looking back at it I don’t even know how I can describe it. Looking back I think I just enjoyed their company as a friend because of their consistency in my life, I don’t think I ever really felt anything for them. I think I just gaslighted myself into thinking it was a crush so I would seem normal. Even now, I don’t think I have crushes I sort of just chose someone and think ‘yeah, this seems like a good one’ and just daydream I guess? Not even that, I just use those ‘crushes’ as something so I don’t get bored during school.

I can tell you all the people I’ve ever had a ‘crush’ on, and I could never really answer you when it comes to the act of actively crushing on them. I don’t think about them, I can talk to them perfectly, I don’t get nervous around them, like is that supposed to happen?

Like I obviously find people attractive, and I think I link attractiveness with having a crush on someone. Which is like…a problem?

Anyway, back to the main point, this person, I’ve spent years with them, and one thing about me, I lowkey have attachment issues I think. So if I’m being honest my world practically revolves around them, because of how much I gaslighted myself. I’ll admit it now how bad it was for me, I sort of treated it like an obsession, and I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to be. But I’m over it now, or at least trying, I obviously still want them as a friend because they are a good friend, but with the way it’s been going that’s not a possibility; and I have to learn to be okay with that. And I’m learning. I remember we’d always talk about the fact that if we were to ever date it would be the most toxic relationship ever, and I’ll have to agree; this relationship has been toxic, or at least for me it has.

I’ve had to eventually figure out who I am as a person, cause as started before my world revolves around them so much. But at the same time I’m at a lost? To have such a consistency in your life leave so suddenly is hard.

To the second point, what is love? Like how do I experience it? Like I would like to think that I love things like music, art, writing, things like that. But in all honesty I don’t know, especially when it comes to people, and I’m not talking about it in a platonic sense, I can feel platonic love, but what about romantic love? Like I’m always watching it in movies or tv shows and it seems awesome, I would like to experience it one day, but it’s weird. I guess I’m just never sure if I’m doing it right, what exactly am I supposed to feel when I experience love love.

Anyway, I think that’s gonna be all from me folks, time to get back to homework I don’t want to do. Until we meet again.

Also first time using tags and it honestly just looks like I’m having an existential crisis lmao love that.

[hikarry]

Thank you so much for the tag!!

Who was your first fictional crush? Ok so, I don't really remember the first, cause I've been having crushes on characters ever since I knew myself as me, but it was probably Shego

What's the first colour you think of when I tell you to think of a colour? Blue

Which fanfiction emotionally scarred you and still makes you shudder to this day? I've had amazing experiences with fanfics and even have a favorite, but I wouldn't describe the experience i had with that fic as "scarring". Perhaps the one that impacted me the most in that way was one I read where Gabriel tortured Crowley to the point of making him believe he didn't have his wings anymore and that Aziraphale was made up by his own imagination. I think a lot about that fic and I wish I had it saved, cause it honestly traumatized me. When Aziraphale managed to "save" Crowley, he is still linked to Gabriel and is scared of everything like a kitten. Crowley doesn't sleep because he thinks if he closes his eyes he will wake up back in heaven and be confirmed Aziraphale was never real. It was trauma inducing

l'm coming to your house for dinner, non-negotiable, what are you making me? Pasta with tuna!

Do you prefer lions or kangaroos? Kangaroos. I love the lil bag they have

Which fictional villain do you brush past the glaringly obvious issues for because you really like them? oof hard one. But probably Joker. I really really love him.

What would accompany your picture in the burn book in mean girls? We are all addicted to 50 year old men huh?

How many days would you last in the universe of your favourite fandom? Plenty, if Crowley and Aziraphale stop the Second Coming. If not, I would die happy regardless

Have you heard of Mischief Theatre? No, but I'm curious now

Do you feel sorry for Medusa? Oh absolutely. She did not deserve to be "blessed" like that. The blessing really was a bitch of a curse, my poor girl

Which song makes you think of your OTP? Babe, I have a whole playlist full of them. But, if I had to choose, probably Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow by Freddie Mercury

Which song makes you disassociate and daydream the fastest? Right now? Achilles Come Down by Gnag of Youths

Tags: @mostnormalaziraphaleliker @faeratil @nostalgic-bee @theonevoice

My own get to know you game:

Who was your first fictional crush?:

What’s the first colour you think of when I tell you to think of a colour?:

Which fanfiction emotionally scarred you and still makes you shudder to this day?:

I’m coming to your house for dinner, non-negotiable, what are you making me?:

Do you prefer lions or kangaroos?:

Which fictional villain do you brush past the glaringly obvious issues for because you really like them?:

What would accompany your picture in the Burn Book in Mean Girls?:

How many days would you last in the universe of your favourite fandom?:

Have you heard of Mischief Theatre?:

Do you feel sorry for Medusa?:

Which song makes you think of your OTP?:

Which song makes you disassociate and daydream the fastest?:

Tags: @weltato, @snarky-wallflower, @feathertru, @barclaysangel, @fanficwriter284, @silvershewolf247, @shadowbrightshine, @luxury-nightmare and anyone else who wants to have a go, feel free!