#I have over 7000 drafts
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This is exactly why I never fucking post.
"This post [art/article/etc] is really neat, I will reblog it but alas I need to properly tag it and I am too tired to so I will put it in drafts and properly post it later"
#I have over 7000 drafts#Sometimes even saving drafts is tiring#Me#Relatable#I'm in this post and I don't like it#Way to strip me naked in this Wendy's parking lot
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Dense, it looks like you need enrichment in your enclosure, so I thought I'd let you know that I've gone feral for your Dreamling Dads AU. There's like 3 oneshots drafted on my computer. There's a 20K+ longshot fic worked out in bullet points. There's Kian and Matthew playing pranks on Dream. There's a holiday special with family Christmas Cards. There's eldritch powers. There's quality parenting.
Your Kian took over my NaNoWriMo gosh dang it I was supposed to be working on something else.
And yet. Here I am, with a 7000+ word doc filled with thoughts and ideas about this baby boy and his eldritch dad and his slightly less-eldritch dad.
I really want to post something soon, I'll be sure to let you know if I can actually pencil it in amidst the New Years heyday.
This just literally made my entire day I'm going to weep openly wtf??? Inflicting Kian and his Centennial Dads on this fandom has been such a treat for me, and that you guys seem to actually be enjoying it makes me absolutely feral!! I cannot WAIT to read just, all of that?? That is so wild and I'm going to be champing at the bit now. Definitely let me know if/when you share any of it 💕 Have a quicky 2am sketch as a treat!! (kian thanks u for your love)
#brb crying#dreamling#kian gadling#dreamling dads!au#asks#ask reply#classic-blue#look i got this ask on the eve of an appointment Ive been really really dreading#and it was so sweet and i want to just roll around in the love of the dreamling fandom#thank you classic!!!
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(the post editor malfunctioned and after a series of unfortunate events the original ask post is gone, so I had to make this screenshot mockup of the ask, sorry)
Thank you for prodding me to finish up a draft that's been sitting there for an inexplicably long time.
I will divide puns into exact homophones, which are pronounced exactly the same, and near homophones, which consist of the same phonemes with different tones. Though exact homophones are much punnier in speech, Internet jokes rely heavily upon text input and most people use phonetic-based Chinese input systems, meaning their autocompletes will often suggest near homophones and people will use them if they're funny enough.
To make this slightly statistically sound and not just me making up random puns, I grabbed 700k viewer comments from the years NiF was available on Youku, 2015 to 2020 (courtesy of danmu box). These danmu/弹幕 comments are timed to a particular moment in the show so they splash across the screen while you watch.
Let's start with the heavy hitters:
Xie Yu/谢玉 is an exact homophone of xièyù/泄欲, literally discharging desire, which means satisfying one’s lust or orgasming. Xie Yu's name occurs 5000+ times in the comments versus almost 900 orgasms.
Prince Yu/誉王 is an exact homophone of yùwáng/欲王, meaning prince of lust, and a near homophone, of yùwàng/欲望, which means desire (or the chaotic evil penis). The latter is far more likely to be autocompleted and shows up 1500+ times versus 200+ for the prince of lust.
Yùjīn/豫津 is a near homophone of yùjìn, 欲禁, or forbidden lust/abstinence. Because bath towel/浴巾 is an exact homophone and again far more likely to come up first in autocomplete, people overwhelmingly refer to him as the towel. In the comments, bath towel is used nearly 7000 times, 10x more frequently than his actual name, which is made up of two not-super-common characters.
Mei Changsu is often addressed as Su-xiong/苏兄 by Jingrui and Yujin in canon, which is an exact homophone of sūxiōng/酥胸, a literary term for supple and beautiful breasts that might have the same old-fashioned connotation as heaving bosom does in English. I'm going to call him gorgeous tits because he does bear a striking resemblance to the azure tit:
I've seen Chinese MCS fans note this resemblance before, but these birds don't have titillating names in Chinese so you can have this bonus joke for English speakers. Anyways, gorgeous tits are invoked in nearly 6000 comments versus almost 1200 for Su-xiong itself.
Now you can enjoy one of the comments from the above screenshot exclaiming over these names:
浴巾裹着酥胸,泄欲,这都什么什么 a bath towel (yujin) wrapped around gorgeous tits (su-xiong), orgasming (xie yu), what is all this
And the following off-color joke retold many times throughout the episodes:
Why is Mei Changsu called Su-xiong and not Mei-xiong? Because he has gorgeous tits, not tiny ones (Méi-xiōng/梅兄 is an exact homophone of flat-chested/没胸).
Here are some rarer-but-still-good puns:
Gōng Yǔ/宫羽 is a near homophone of gòngyù/共浴, bathing together (cue viewer comments about how she and bath towel belong with each other).
Níhuáng/霓凰 is a near homophone of nǐhuáng/你黄, slang meaning you’re perverted.
The emperor lives in Yǎngjū Hall/养居殿, a near homophone of penis hall since yángjù/阳具 is the yang implement, though it's most popularly punned with pigpen (I wrote about this here if you scroll to the end).
The travelogue Mei Changsu wrote annotations in, 翔地记, is an exact homophone of xiángdìjì/降帝记, or records of subduing the emperor (which I can only interpret as MCS’s Dom Diaries on how to conquer Jingyan).
To conclude, here’s a stacked area chart of the four horsemen of punny NiF names and how often they're spammed:
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Welcome to my humble party!~
[My Astarion Fanfic Masterlist]
Just call me Druid since I really have no intention of revealing my real name for the foreseeable future.
I decided to make a masterlist just to help organize my stuff!
~Original Characters for story or RP stuff~
Winnifred The Druid -My Tav
Arva Nightshade -Winnie's closest pre-tadpole friend.
Fi The Hornless -A talented bard and a member of Arva's pack. She helped look after a juvenile Winnie.
Elora Ancunin -Under developement...
RP Note: Winnie is currently open to answering questions from all of you beautiful people! She is an open book so do not be afraid to ask away! Astarion may even make an appearance in the reply depending on the question. No he will not bite you, Araj! Just make sure to label your ask; Dear Winnie, Question for Winnie, Hey Winnie, I dare Winnie to, etc, and we will let the fun begin!
More NSFW type questions are accepted, but only by people who have their age visible on their blogs. Minors attempting to ask or anons without any age identification will be blocked/ignored. (Also let's try not to ask anything too gross okay.... I'm into some weird stuff but you know limits, my dude.)
~During campaign Winnie fics Masterlist~
[Click Here Darling~]
~Multi-part Fanfics~
[This Bites] Astarion x Chubby Female MC
A young woman ends up literally stuck with a fictional vampire from her newest video game obsession! She now must deal with keeping him safe and hidden all the while dealing with stress from her shitty stepdad.
Chapters: 1, 2, 3 ,4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9
Valentine's Day Special: Eat Your Heart!
[The Spawn Vs The Ascendant] (Fem) Tav x Astarion(s).
Astarion and his lover Tav are happily together after defeating Cazador and freeing 7000 vampire spawn into the Underdark. They are now preparing to take on the Elderbrain when an Astarion look alike, claiming to be 'The Vampire Ascendant' appears and demands the Spawn hand Tav over to him.
Parts: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4
The Spawn vs Tav vs The Ascendant: A smutty one-shot that doesn't really take place in any particular time during the events of TSvTA. MDNI 18+ (Though if I'm honest it probably takes place post story.)
[Firsts] (Named!Fem! Tav x Astarion) Winnie has noticed her vampiric companion had been acting much more aggressively flirtatious lately. Of course, he flirted with everyone, this was common sense. But ever since Winnie had given him a taste of her blood it seemed she was the main target of his affections. Which quite frankly confused the hells out of the young druid. He couldn't actually be interested in her? Could he?
MDNI 18+ There is smut! The second half involves the Tiefling party!
[1/2] [2/2]
[Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts] (Chubby F!Tav x Astarion) After failing yet again to find a good lead on the Ring of the Sunwalker Tav and Astarion return to their current and hopefully temporary home in the Underdark only to be greeted by a distress signal from an old friend and an invitation to extravagant soiree hosted by an eccentric stranger!
Chapters: One ,
~Headcanon lists!~
[Astarion x chubby!reader headcanons!] (GN! Reader)
[🍿Watching movies with Astarion!🍿] (GN! Reader)
[BG3 companions babysitting your kids!] (GN! Reader)
[Telling the companions baby news!] (GN! Reader)
[Meet the Parents!] (A fun little writing challenge I put together. I wrote up headcanons of Astarion meeting my Tav's parents and Winnie meeting Astarion's parents.)
[Astarion's Teddy 🧸] (A little HC about Winnie giving Star a plush.)
~Other~
[All Wrapped up!] A short AstarionxF!Tav Christmas one-shot inspired by my God-awful ability to wrap presents.
[We'll Protect Each Other] While staying at an inn in the Underdark Tav and Astarion are forced to protect each other. Tav defends her lover's honor which later leads to a visit in the night from a familiar face. (Protective! Tav x Astarion One-Shot.)
[The Bite Scene] A rewrite of Astarion's bite camp event with my Tav, Winnie. It was basically a draft from my abandoned long fic.
[The Monster Hunter] Happens right before the The Bite Scene. It's a rewrite of the encounter with Gandrel out in the bog. Another draft from my abandoned long fic that I just decided to share.
[Indulging Curiosity] (F!Tav x Astarion SMUT MDNI) After a particularly bloody battle with a pack of gnolls Astarion finds himself rather hot and bothered seeing his favorite little druid absolutely drenched in blood. Unable to help himself he invites her to join him for an evening of pleasure where he indulges in some of Tav's sexual curiosities.
[Seriously, now!?] (Named!Tav x Astarion, period comfort fic) After causing a scene, embarrassing and being shouted at by the party's own resident wizard, Winnie storms off alone to sulk. Her monthly bleeding is upon her and making everything seem so much worse! But perhaps her vampiric lover can make it all better? (MDNI, slight smut at the end.)
[Forever] A requested rewrite of the camp event where Astarion's siblings come to kidnap him, but featuring Winnie!
[Delicious] (Named!Tav x Astarion) While camping in the Underdark the tadpole crew gather around the fire telling stories to pass the time. One way or another they turn into tales of old lovers. Which brings up a curious question? How come Winnie had no lovers before Astarion? (MDNI SMUT AT END)
~Taglists~
[This Bites] Comment on the latest chapter to be added!
[Winnie during BG3] Comment here to be tagged whenever I drop any fics that take place during Baldur's Gate 3 campaign!
[The Spawn Vs The Ascendant] Comment here to be added to the taglist, but hurry! This fic will soon be complete!
Ao3 Account Though most of my stuff will probably be updated here on Tumblr first!
Blog Rules ig: Okay so I normally try to promote positivity it's why my fics are mostly comedy based. That being said, anyone who comes here acting like an asshat is getting blocked. I don't tolerate homophobia, heterophobia, biphobia, panphobia or really any kind of discrimination towards anyone's sexuality. Transphobic behavior is also unacceptable and will result in a block. Racism, or sexism of any kind is also not tolerated, understand? We're all going to be friends here. Treat people the way you want to be treated.
Requests???
Hi, friendly neighborhood Druid here. My ADHD gives me a shit ton of trouble writing so I'm real iffy about doing requests of any kind. That being said, I'm currently only taking specific requests involving Astarion x my Tav Winnie where I rewrite a scene from the in game campaign. I've already done the Tiefling Party so that is out of the question. And so is anything post Act 3 final boss. I'm also honestly just open to chatting through the asks.
-Druid
#baldurs gate 3#astarion ancunin#bg3#astarion bg3#astarion x tav#astarion my beloved#astarion x reader#astarion romance#bg3 tav#ascended astarion#bg3 astarion#masterlist#fanfiction masterlist#astarion x female oc#baldurs gate astarion#astarion x female tav#astarion x female reader#bg3 ocs#bg3 roleplay#link to bg3 rp
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Keeper of the Lost Cities: A Love-Hate-Love Relationship, And What It Can Do To Your Psyche
This is the essay you guys wanted to see after this presentation dropped; to be clear, this is the final draft. The presentation was made from the rough draft, so it's rather different.
Also, the essay prompt was to make it personal. So the italicized bits are where I was trying to do that, and they are both separate and a part of the essay. They break up the flow, but are also a response to the normal bits of the essay. You get it. Here we go.
In total, the Keeper of The Lost Cities (KOTLC) series by Shannon Messenger has over 7000 pages, split between nine and a half books (Book 8.5 was, uselessly, a novella) with a planned tenth coming in late 2024. It’s the kind of series that hooks you the same way a fisherman hooks a fish: with a promise of a treat that goes very, very unfulfilled. This is to say: KOTLC is a good series, at least at first. It’s certainly been my core obsession for a good (or bad) five years. It’s a hook because you can’t escape once you’ve begun. It’s my own personal brand of heroine, as Edward Cullen might say if Bella were a too-long book series that doesn’t resolve any plotlines or character arcs and instead piles more information on top of worldbuilding until contradictions are more plentiful than the packed main cast.
KOTLC is a good series, but the idea of recommending it feels like I’d be violating several articles of the Geneva Convention. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and yet the thought of it ending is an impossibility on the scale of the apocalypse and I hope (I’d rather) the world ends before this series does. KOTLC is a minefield of sloppy worldbuilding, deeply compelling characters, and---where am i without it?---bits of myself woven into the many, many words, sinking under my skin and revealing what I think I have to offer.
Sophie Foster is the protagonist of the series, trudging the long, never-ending path to what hopefully will be a happy ending. Like the author, Sophie has blonde hair and brown eyes, making her unique among her fellow elves, who all have blue eyes, including the rare-among-the-main-cast people of color.
There are so many things that make Sophie weird, strange, unique, attractive to every boy who sees her, and otherwise out of the ordinary: for example, she has five special abilities that allow her to teleport, read minds, inflict pain, speak any language, and enhance the abilities of others---i cannot do what she can, but she breathes and i do too---There are certain things she has very much in common with her fellow elves, such as her slender build and flawless skin, but much more makes her, as her childhood bullies would say, “A Special Sophie-Flake.”
Sophie was raised by humans, which not only means that the steadily growing pile of unique traits is now tottering dangerously above my head, but also that she’s clumsy and wildly insecure. This insecurity has a purpose and a source, making it one of the most annoyingly (and terrifyingly) accurate depictions of teenage anxiety in middle-grade media (if I were a vampire pulled from normal vampire lore rather than Twilight and I looked at her, I’d be invisible)---so do you get it? do i?
which one of us is me---Sophie has intense imposter syndrome, never believing she’s worthy of the overwhelming support, approval, and desire heaped upon her throughout her years in the Lost Cities. In Book One, four teenage boys were no less than obsessed with her, possibly because she, presumably, talked to them sometimes. Valin, a “drooly boy” (named due to his constant drooling, as one might expect), is forced to ballroom dance with Sophie in detention, and later gives her a card and a bracelet professing his admiration. Dex Dizznee manages to sustain his crush until he finally makes his move in Book Six, and is rejected in humiliation after she kisses him to make him realize his feelings aren’t actually real---when I know that he was lying to himself, is lying to himself. truth is a phase and it ends once you hit age eight---After Book Six, only two remain: Fitz and Keefe, each of whom has made their crushes very, desperately, embarrassingly clear to someone who very clearly returns both sets of feelings.
“Sooner or later you're going to have to solve the triangle. Or should we get real and call it a square?” (Messenger Neverseen), notes Keefe, with his usual subtle confession of his feelings---only leaving me with questions: did he want her to know at all? is he chasing the person or the change? the girl or the excitement? the wanting or the wanted?---The love polygon of however many vertices is both acknowledged and not by Sophie— she’s aware of her feelings for Fitz from chapter two of Book One, becomes aware of her feelings for Keefe in Book Nine, and mentally friend-zones Dex every other sentence, even when it’s not really relevant to the rest of her inner monologue. Her inability to believe with confidence that she might be worthy of a crush (or any sort of positive acknowledgment) is layered beneath every thought where she considers the possibility of being liked, and then promptly dismisses it.
---she knows that admitting it means being wrong. i will be wrong, unless i guess right and am big-headed, full of myself. who am i---
Sophie’s oblivious nature stems from her human upbringing, directly resulting from the trauma of developing the ability to read minds at age five. She hears her parents wishing she were normal or better at making friends and fitting in, her sister complaining about her presence, and her classmates at school judging everything she does.
She sticks out like a sore thumb in the human world, only to come to the elven world and be called a freak, malfunctioning, a genetic experiment, and a failure, just when she thought she might fit in---when i am a puzzle piece, a corner without the connection---Her alienation in the human world (referred to as the Forbidden Cities in the series) comes from her level of success, skipping five grades due to her elven intelligence and photographic memory, and getting into Harvard at age twelve.
While she hates the combination of jealousy and admiration she’s constantly showered with there---who hates it and loves it at the same time? isolation and contradiction---in the elven world, she’s hated for other reasons: accidentally breaking laws, making mistakes, or simply being a blip on the seemingly perfect streak the elven world has for peace and security. Is there any mystery as to why she would never believe that people actually, genuinely care for her? She’s formed her protective coating of denial that lasts her through every time Fitz gives her a gift and she convinces herself it means nothing, or every time Dex shows his jealousy, or every time Keefe goes to her before anyone else.
Even when she kisses Dex, after he tells her in anything but words that he likes her, she doubts herself—are two sides of the same coin, where heads is insecurity and tails is egotism. question: who is she?---She doesn’t think he actually likes her, appreciates her, admires her. This doubt works its way into everything she does, every relationship she has, platonic, romantic, or otherwise. Yet again, she shows her status as a reflection---answer: she’s a mirror. i know who i am because she exists---reading into everything and still not believing or trusting that it truly exists outside of her imagination.
Any time Sophie sees a girl she perceives as prettier, more elegant, or smarter than she is, she instantly develops a jealousy complex—relating either to how Fitz acts around them, or how they project the confidence and normalcy she wishes she can achieve---to tell me whether or not i am alone---She surrounds herself with people who are described as incredibly stunning even in a world where every elf naturally matches the ideal Western beauty standard.
Yet she refuses to believe that she, too, might be beautiful, and instead considers herself dull and boring next to Biana, Linh, Marella, and Maruca---(and ten books later, i still do not have an answer)---Even Stina, who has committed the number one crime (it’s a federal offense) of having “a mass of frizzy curls” (KOTLC 164), is considered beautiful when her hair is “tamed” and slicked back. This framing of beauty applies to the boys, too, but none of Sophie’s descriptions are quite as detailed, quite as admiring, or quite as wistful as when she’s describing Biana Vacker’s heart-shaped, perfectly glossed lips---so, yes, i look at her and see myself. is that what i’m trying to say? is that what i am?---
But the queer-coding doesn’t stop (or begin, really) with Sophie’s dedicated denial of both her worth as a human being and her desire to kiss her pretty girl friends. A connection called a “Cognate Bond” is often referred to in the text as the closest two elves can become, emotionally and mentally.
Cognates exist when two Telepaths (such as Sophie) have such a deep and unbreakable trust bond that they become more skilled together than they were apart. In creating and maintaining this bond, they have to complete trust exercises and not hold back secrets keeping them from total confidentiality---she thrives on secrets---Sophie’s cognate is her friend (and love interest, and, debatably, ex-boyfriend) Fitz, whose romantic relationship was in a large part focused on their cognate one. Their trust exercises involve staring into each other’s eyes, holding hands, having matching rings, and Fitz telling Sophie that she’s the only person he can truly trust.
Fitz also asks his father at one point if cognates are allowed to date each other— his father affirms the statement. Notably, Alden has the authority to do so since he himself was a cognate, only undergoing a nasty breakup— sorry, only losing the bond, after his cognate, Quinlin, kept too many secrets. It’s implied that two other characters were once almost Cognates, only to grow too far apart when one of them, Prentice, had his sanity forcibly shattered and was locked in prison, leaving his (gay lover) best friend, Tiergan, to raise his son---while cognatedom thrives on truth, and also regret, and also the denial of both---The choice to parallel Fitz/Sophie, Alden/Quinlin, and Tiergan/Prentice was possibly not a conscious one but it still resonates with hundreds of queer teen readers who look at the portrayal of utter devotion and trust between two men and think, Wow. This is what I see in myself---but without the denial, without the regret, what are we left with? what do we see?
we see the truth.
We see ourselves.
There are so, so many other issues that I could easily delve into in this series (such as the strangely Western portrayal of gender roles, the racism concerning the Song family, irresponsible adults and the ethics of genetic experimentation, the girlboss and cardboardification of quite literally every woman, etc) and just as many things that make Keeper of the Lost Cities worth it (Fitz’s anger, the development of villains, Sophie’s trans-coding, Keefe’s trauma, physical ramifications of guilt, Marella and Fintans’ pyrokinesis/queer-coding, whatever Dimitar has going on, etc).
The series tends to skew to the “not good” side, although on occasion it will topple abruptly into the “incredible work of art and exploration of wildly interesting character dynamics” before rising like an angel back to heaven into its original position as “questionable in terms of taste.” Mostly, what defines KOTLC is how it’s interpreted rather than the content itself. Someone far different (and with far worse taste) than I might see Fitz’s quest for vengeance and call him a red flag in elven form, while I call it a ridiculously interesting exploration of what grief, near idol worship, toxic standards, and guilt can do to a teenage boy past his limit.
But I am not the voice of the fandom (even though I definitely should be). I look at Sophie Foster and see myself, but that does not make her me. These characters always feel so painfully real, desperately relatable, as if Messenger cobbled together a main cast from bits of my life, but they are not. In the end, they are just characters. In the end, it’s just a series made for middle schoolers, in the same way the sun is just the sun, and the stars are just there to twinkle merrily and not to be explored.
(where am i without it? I cannot do what she can, but she breathes and I do too so do you get it? do i? which one of us is me when I know that he was lying to himself, is lying to himself. truth is a phase and it ends once you hit age eight only leaving me with questions: did he want her to know at all? is he chasing the person or the change? the girl or the excitement? the wanting or the wanted? she knows that admitting it means being wrong. i will be wrong, unless i guess right and am big-headed, full of myself. who am i when i am a puzzle piece, a corner without the connection who hates it and loves it at the same time? isolation and contradiction aretwo sides of the same coin, where heads is insecurity and tails is egotism. question: who is she? answer: she’s a mirror. i know who i am because she exists to tell me whether or not i am alone (and ten books later, i still do not have an answer) so, yes, i look at her and see myself. is that what i’m trying to say? is that what i am? she thrives on secrets while cognatedom thrives on truth, and also regret, and also the denial of both but without the denial, without the regret, what are we left with? what do we see? we see the truth. We see ourselves.
#im not even sure how i feel about this LMAO#i havent written for kotlc in fucking ages.#summer rambles#summer's writing#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#sophie foster#kotlc crit#keefe sencen#fitz vacker
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October Commissions Open
Hey there, I’m Charlie!
I’m a college student, taking any extra money I can make, so I’m opening 5 commissions slots a month.
You can either message me on Tumblr or email me at [email protected]. I find it easier to send it through Ko-Fi, which I’ll send a link to. I will send a finished first draft for the client to look over to see if anything needs to be added or removed. Please keep in mind that there might be a time difference in communication. I will ask for details. If you want a story with your OCs, it will be incredibly helpful to have a description of these OCs.
I will possibly crosspost the commission on Tumblr and AO3, unless requested not to, and you will receive a PDF version of your story. You are allowed to crosspost it yourself if credit is given back to me. I do have the right to deny anything that makes me uncomfortable.
There will be a $5 discount if the story requested is for any of my prior writings.
Prices below:
500-1000 words- $5
1000-2000 words- $10
2000-3000 words- $15
3000-4000 words- $20
4000-5000 words- $25
5000-6000 words- $30
6000-7000 words- $35
7000-8000 words- $40
8000-9000 words- $45
9000-10000 words- $50
10000-11000 words- $55
11000-12000 words- $60
12000-13000 words- $65
13000-14000 words- $70
14000-15000 words- $75
For longer wordcounts we can discuss. There is also a $10 smut charge for smut.
Thank you!
At the suggestion of a commissioner who I refunded because I was uncomfortable with their story (they were super understanding and I’m thankful for that), here’s a list of things I am uncomfortable writing:
Hate art
Rape, non-con, and dub-con
Super massive gore
Incest
Pedophilia
Kink with farting/pee/poop, foot/armpit
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September Commission Open
Hey there, I’m Charlie!
I’m a college student, taking any extra money I can make, so I’m opening 5 commissions slots a month for original works.
You can either message me on Tumblr or email me at [email protected]. I find it easier to send it through Ko-Fi, which I’ll send a link to. I will send a finished first draft for the client to look over to see if anything needs to be added or removed. Please keep in mind that there might be a time difference in communication. I will ask for details. If you want a story with your OCs, it will be incredibly helpful to have a description of these OCs.
I will possibly crosspost the commission on Tumblr and AO3, unless requested not to, and you will receive a PDF version of your story. You are allowed to crosspost it yourself if credit is given back to me. I do have the right to deny anything that makes me uncomfortable.
There will be a $5 discount if the story requested is for any of my prior writings.
Prices below:
500-1000 words- $5
1000-2000 words- $10
2000-3000 words- $15
3000-4000 words- $20
4000-5000 words- $25
5000-6000 words- $30
6000-7000 words- $35
7000-8000 words- $40
8000-9000 words- $45
9000-10000 words- $50
10000-11000 words- $55
11000-12000 words- $60
12000-13000 words- $65
13000-14000 words- $70
14000-15000 words- $75
For longer wordcounts we can discuss.
Thank you!
At the suggestion of a commissioner who I refunded because I was uncomfortable with their story (they were super understanding and I’m thankful for that), here’s a list of things I am uncomfortable writing:
Hate art
Rape, non-con, and dub-con
Super massive gore
Incest
Pedophilia
Kink with farting/pee/poop, foot/armpit
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hiiiii new Holmes mutuals/followers is anyone interested in maybe being a beta reader for my draft of my audio drama SHolmes adaptation? I'm pretty directly adapting a lot of bits from Doyle's writing (esp dialogue) and I'd love to have someone who is familiar with the source material read over my scripts to let me know if there are any points where its obvious its switching between directly copied Doyle/slightly changed Doyle/original writing
I have 5 episode drafts written so far, which range from 3000-7000 words each, and have 5 more to finish out Study in Scarlet
Basic premise is alternate history version of ACD canon where Britain is losing its grip on its empire (Most notably, lost the second Anglo-Afghan war) and certain technology (notably medical and radio) is anachronistically advanced. I am hoping to explore the portrayal of empire in Holmes stories/Victorian literature, as well as the politics of what became the root of most of the modern crime genre (with a very anti-imperial, abolitionist bent. I also want to explore the class and gender politics of the Victorian era, particularly with regards to the recurring plot elements of secrets, marriage, affairs, and blackmail in the original stories
Watson lost his arm in the war and was given a prosthetic. He was given basically a tape recorder as a therapy device as a replacement for journaling since he has difficulty writing with both his prosthetic and his non-dominant arm. He is being written as experiencing psychosis, as well as what would likely be diagnosed as OCD and PTSD by modern psychiatry
Holmes is a gay trans man who has been living stealth his entire adult life, but spent many formative years working in and around the truth of what the "Bohemian lifestyle" romanticized (poverty, crime, drugs, and sex work). He is being written with the idea that if his character existed in a world with modern day understandings of psychiatry he would be diagnosed with BPD and autism
I have eventual plans for canon Sherlock/John/Mary (this is my husband John and his partner Sherlock), Desi-Scottish Mary, and woman Moriarty
you can see my ramblings/posts that make me giggle and think about Them/and my concept art here
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Ok, I just. How are we dealing with the fact that Star boy is actually the one 7000 bodies deep. Like in the murdery sense. The Ascendant did call him out directly (you can love the guy who stole 7000 innocentish souls while I have only taken like 50 bad guys out). How do you love this guy? How is there a future there? How do you repent for something like that? (How do you repent for letting it go and loving him anyway?) You're saying the angst is over, but I feel like it's just beginning!
hello anon! thank you for the... question? philosophical musing?
the good news is, this is why Act 3 *begins* with the final confrontation - this is indeed a major portion of the third act conflict, and the main thing that needs to be resolved :)
I'm currently in the thick of drafting so I don't know what the balance will end up falling, in regards to angst versus hurt/comfort. But as hurt/comfort is now an option that's on the table, I simply hope that means less angst than Acts 1 and 2!!!
As I started properly looking into the dynamic Rosalie and Astarion would have in this situation, I became increasingly aware of three things:
Rosalie has had 10 years to come to terms with the fact that the person she loved killed 7000 people. She's so tired and lonely, that she's grieved and come out the other side being like "I'm still in love with him", and accepted that about herself.
This Astarion is being plunged back into the world after the same gap and expecting the same Rosalie of ten years ago... and that Rosalie would punish him for what he did. So that's what he's expecting, and maybe a little of what he wants, to help with the guilt.
Rosalie's resistance in Acts 1 and 2 isn't so much morality as um.... extreme self-denial dressed up as morality? So. Um. Maybe it would've just been healthier to fuck him.
Anyway, I'm still in a soup of trying to find out how to navigate the final act as a result of these realisations. I know what the Happy Ending looks like and I have a rough grasp of how to get there, but this is certainly why I got the fight out of the way early ;)
#asks#anons#wip: pieces still stuck in your teeth#thank you for your message!#again: the Ascendent was an unreliable narrator... but was he wrong?
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What program do you use to keep track of your monthly wordcount? I see yours on Discord all the time and have been wondering. Hope you're doing a little better, I understand the last weeks (months, years) have been rough for you. All the love and support <3
Hi anon,
I don't use a program to keep track of my word count!
There's Discord, and that's it, heh.
So I don't track my wordcount like most people. I don't count all the words I wrote in a day. I only count the wordcounts of finished first draft chapters. So let's say I have a miracle day and I've written 1000 words across 5 unfinished chapters, and 2000 words in a finished chapter, I will only log the 2000 words, even though I wrote 7000 words that day.
This works for me because I have a very strong drive to achieve and complete things, and I additionally write serials for a living, so I can actually use a 'chapter by chapter' way of doing things. It also means I don't have to faff about with counting 100 words here, 2000 words there, 50 words somewhere else, and worrying if I've counted something before or not. It also means my monthly wordcount is always a little lower on paper than irl, because I don't count edited words and I don't count any words I add into chapters to expand them, and during the editing process chapters are more likely to get a little longer than a little shorter.
The other part of this puzzle is that I use a whiteboard to track chapters completed, what chapters they were, the dates they were completed etc. which helps me on a functional level to see what I have for readers. Here's last year's whiteboard:
You can see that I add each monthly total and then keep track of a yearly number too.
I'm currently halfway through 2023's whiteboard.
And that's it! That's how I do it. I don't do daily wordcounts, I don't count anything from uncompleted chapters, I don't count words added into chapters. I only count words from completed first drafts. This is also why my wordcount always jumps by over 2,500 words each time, and often every few days (except at the beginning of the month where I work a lot harder specifically on writing, and the back half of the month is more for editing).
This way has been working for me for like...5 years now? And I can't imagine it changing, honestly. I don't know how people manage otherwise, it would drive me nuts having to depend on programs or software, or having to track everything (which would make me kind of lose track of what I'm meant to be doing). I know some folks do amazing things with spreadsheets etc. but I just do my weird stuff through Discord and a whiteboard. Before Discord I used my Skype status, lol.
#asks and answers#pia on writing#writing process#being able to post my wordcount publicly in a status keeps me accountable#and makes me feel eager to increase that wordcount#my personality veers strongly towards achieving/accomplishment#as well as responsibility/accountability#so having the discord status for me is like my#ongoing responsibility/accountability tracker#because i would feel far far more awful if i didn't write anything#and everyone could see it lmao#than if i was hiding my wordcount in a program that other people couldn't see#for me accountability makes me more productive so i just do it this way#but yeah i've never met any other author who does it like me#and i don't expect to lol
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sorry but recently ive become interested in looking back at my drafts. i have over 7000 lol i like seeing what i even considered too shitty to post as shitposts. what was my state of mind back then. narcissist trait
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okay fine. they meet Lord Malrid in the first line of the next scene (big plot turning point) so time to stop for tonight. I don't have enough juice left in me to start tackling what is basically a new section. Actually, I think I should put a chapter break here. it's been more than 6000 words since the last one. This might be my longest chapter? idk
The majority of this chapter is just fluff, humour, and sexual tension. Adris and Sorin do a bit of plotting while they sit by the fire together but, with the exception of Adris quizzing Sorin on Firnen (her husband who she's never met), then actually getting to Ryeneth, and meeting that one city watchman very little plot happens in the whole 6000 words.
Still, I cannot bring myself to cut it yet. Maybe I won't need to in the end. I don't really think it is bloat: more like giving the plot some room to breathe.
so update for today:
Total word count is 43 450. Page count is 76. Percent is 54%.I have nine chapters written, I begin tomorrow on chapter 10. I have edited 8204 words since my last update earlier today (holy shit), and 8786 total since this morning (which means I apparently wrote just over 500 words last update, not 200).
It seems the muses were kind to me today. I shall have to give them an offering of thanks.
At this point in my first draft I was at 94 pages, 67 655 words in. That is a whopping 25 205 words more than draft 2 which means I cut a further 6000 or so this draft.
Oh my gosh, that means 7000 more words cut I will be exactly where I want to be for my word goal!! Hopefully I end up cutting a few thousand more words than that so I have room to fix the ending (which I was not happy with in draft 1) and have room in later drafts to pretty up the prose.
ahhhh this is very exciting!!!
#wipvii#I may or may not have accidentally calculated the difference between drafts 1 and 2 as 15 205 not 25 205#and I may have spent a solid hour recounting all the sections in both drafts and digging up old posts to verify the numbers#then coming to the conclusion I must have added at least 4000 words somewhere and skimming the entire draft 2 to figure out what#then coming up short and sitting there baffled because something was NOT right#I cannot believe it took me an hour to realize my error#yeah don't do math at 2am kids...#I nearly cried
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3, 50, 58!!🫶🏻
3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic
i will tell you straight off the bat that i am Not Organised when it comes to this. sometimes i try outlining but often i'll just jump straight into it. sometimes i write things in order but this is not usual. normally i have to write the things i'm excited about first, otherwise i'll forget how i wanted them to go... what i'm saying here is that i'm all over the place and therefore any fic i write that is over ~7000 words requires a lot of editing to make sure that it all actually flows and makes sense. i say this with until the end of everything in particular in mind -- i wrote the exciting parts first and then had to like... get them from one point to the next. i'm trying to outline more right now so that things read better (especially because i have some chaptered wips) but. we'll see how i go
50. How long is your longest fic?
34,403 words and i can guarantee this will be overtaken because i have what will likely become a behemoth in my drafts
58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)
i loooove when you're brainstorming and everything is falling into place and the world looks like that image of the dolphin and the sparkles and everything, ohhhh everything is beautiful when i am brainstorming and everything is falling into place
thank you for the ask :D
ask game
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Discovery of Ancient Hebrew Scroll Attributed to Moses
COMMENTARY:
The numerology of the Ten Commandments is wrong. Ten is the number of the world and the realm of The Satan introduced in the Book of Job, the first book of the Hebrew narrative. , which runs straight to the Cross and then to Apollo 11,
Melchizedek brought the 9 base numerology of Western Civilization to Abrams and God, the Father, activated the destiny of Humanity in the mind of Abram in Genesis 15:5, Jesus does a similar thing to His Disciples in Luke 24:45. It's a leadership technique I employed on the Ho Chi Minh Trail in Vietnam, The management technique of "Catch Them Doing Something Right" operates on the principles involved. There is shit like this throughout the narrative and you guys are trapped in the Marxism materialism of broken pottery.
The Torah is a military field manual for cultural transformation, It's a rough draft of the explication for the wisdom found along the way from the Book of Bob until Revelation 22:21. Amen, Full Stop. They Ten Commandments unleased a mischievous genii in the Hebrew culture that is having a similar effect on current events that Ayn Rand's lecture at West Point in 1974 introduced moral confusion into the sequestered culture of the profession of arms as a republican instrument of state, like the cross, the cup of hemlock and the lethal injection.
Moses staffed out the writing of the Torah in the same manner Cornelius staffed out Gospel of Mark and Theophilus was the editor of 35 or so years of intelligence appreciations regarding the military potential of the spirit of God describe in Genesis 1:2, Elohim the demi-urge that is the subject of gnostic inquiry. and is introduced in Genesis 1:2. which still hovers over the waters of the Kingdom of Heaven and whose effects are being felt on the West Coast Pipeline that is being amplified by the spiritually toxic Total Depravity Gospel of Pro-Life Calvinist, Christian Nationalist. and Norman Vincent Peale Prosperity Gospel of the Presbyterian Church, USA, the largest source of Structural racism in America. And it all starts with Moses' corruption of the original 9 commandment to be come the Ten Commandments of the Apocalypse t The original 7th Commandment read something like this: Thou shalt not adulator the Law to possess the wife or cattle of your neighbor you covert," Moses split up the injunction against fraud into a formula for animal husbandry based on radical misogamy and a stricture forbidding irrational priapism, Moses, desired effect being the political domination of the uterus as an instrument of state. This is where the School of Shammai, the school of Hillel and Sharia Law converge in blaming women for giving men erections. Mohammad couldn't keep his dick in his pants, the consequence being that Muslim men force all women to dress in burlap bags to The Satan won't trick a righteous Muslim male to have an erection.. And this is bascially the logic of the Total Depravity Gospel of Pro-Life Calvinism and the neo-Nazi Jesus Freaks of the MAGA universe which is amplifying the extreme weather coming ashore on the West Coast as I write this.
And this corruption of the 9 Commandments is why Moses couldn't enter the Promised Land, but must remain in the Outer Darkness in legend.
The Biblical narrative was begun 5784 years ago, or Year zero of Enoch's 7000 year Epoch, This grid of ten 700 hundred year "weeks" is the orgin of Jacob's Ladder and Melchizedek's appearance is connected, Melchizedek was a Magi in the "We Three Kings of Orietn" kind of way. The Biblical narrative begins in Egypt with the Book of Job, Egypt was sufficiently socially organized to put man on the moon, but they lacked the technology to accomplish that task, which is central to the meaning of Genesis 15:5, In terms of the process theology of the Bible, the pyramids of Egypt represent the climax strata of the Stone Age. Mount Rushmore somewhat sustains the legacy of the artistry involved. The Tower of Babel is a Biblical reference to the Pyramids as the structural decadence of vertical cultural organizaion. In contrast, Alexander the Great's colonial model,, the horizontal structures of Rome's Republic and the replacement of the kibbutz socialism of the synagogue , For that matter, the Reformation accomplished the same shift to the horizontal from vertical of the Vatical.
Enoch was not a Magi, He was a disciple of the Persian Arts, but the appearance of Melchizedek apparently happened throughout the Mediterranian basin at the same time, Homer's influence began to spread throughout the Pollyannaism foot print and the Etruscans and Romulus and Remus made their appearance at about the same time according to Enoch's Grid, The importance of Matthew's nativity narrative is the appearance of the Magi and the dowry they invested in Mary and Joseph for the education of Jesus paid off when it is conveyed to the Children of Ishmael by Khadijah, who was a Christian, to Mohammed by vison.
All in all, the differences between Exodus version of the Ten Commandments and Deuteronomy's version of the Ten Commandments are insignificant on the face of it, but, within the context of Moses's corruption of the original 9 Commandments from Elohim the verb of cosmic significance that can be traced with Enoch's Grid and measured by the heresy of the Dobbs decision
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December Commissions Open
Hey there, I’m Charlie!
I’m a college student, taking any extra money I can make, so I’m opening 5 commissions slots a month.
You can either message me on Tumblr or email me at [email protected]. I find it easier to send it through Ko-Fi, which I’ll send a link to. I will send a finished first draft for the client to look over to see if anything needs to be added or removed. Please keep in mind that there might be a time difference in communication. I will ask for details. If you want a story with your OCs, it will be incredibly helpful to have a description of these OCs.
I will possibly crosspost the commission on Tumblr and AO3, unless requested not to, and you will receive a PDF version of your story. You are allowed to crosspost it yourself if credit is given back to me. I do have the right to deny anything that makes me uncomfortable.
There will be a $5 discount if the story requested is for any of my prior writings.
Prices below:
500-1000 words- $5
1000-2000 words- $10
2000-3000 words- $15
3000-4000 words- $20
4000-5000 words- $25
5000-6000 words- $30
6000-7000 words- $35
7000-8000 words- $40
8000-9000 words- $45
9000-10000 words- $50
10000-11000 words- $55
11000-12000 words- $60
12000-13000 words- $65
13000-14000 words- $70
14000-15000 words- $75
For longer wordcounts we can discuss. There is also a $10 smut charge for smut.
Thank you!
At the suggestion of a commissioner who I refunded because I was uncomfortable with their story (they were super understanding and I’m thankful for that), here’s a list of things I am uncomfortable writing:
Hate art
Rape, non-con, and dub-con
Super massive gore
Incest
Pedophilia
Kink with farting/pee/poop, foot/armpit
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November Commissions Open
Hey there, I’m Charlie!
I’m a college student, taking any extra money I can make, so I’m opening 5 commissions slots a month for original works.
You can either message me on Tumblr or email me at [email protected]. I find it easier to send it through Ko-Fi, which I’ll send a link to. I will send a finished first draft for the client to look over to see if anything needs to be added or removed. Please keep in mind that there might be a time difference in communication. I will ask for details. If you want a story with your OCs, it will be incredibly helpful to have a description of these OCs.
I will possibly crosspost the commission on Tumblr and AO3, unless requested not to, and you will receive a PDF version of your story. You are allowed to crosspost it yourself if credit is given back to me. I do have the right to deny anything that makes me uncomfortable.
There will be a $5 discount if the story requested is for any of my prior writings.
Prices below:
500-1000 words- $5
1000-2000 words- $10
2000-3000 words- $15
3000-4000 words- $20
4000-5000 words- $25
5000-6000 words- $30
6000-7000 words- $35
7000-8000 words- $40
8000-9000 words- $45
9000-10000 words- $50
10000-11000 words- $55
11000-12000 words- $60
12000-13000 words- $65
13000-14000 words- $70
14000-15000 words- $75
For longer wordcounts we can discuss.
Thank you!
At the suggestion of a commissioner who I refunded because I was uncomfortable with their story (they were super understanding and I’m thankful for that), here’s a list of things I am uncomfortable writing:
Hate art
Rape, non-con, and dub-con
Super massive gore
Incest
Pedophilia
Kink with farting/pee/poop, foot/armpit
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