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emsartwork · 5 years ago

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Sorry if you’ve already answered this but J was wondering if you could talk more the girls childhood/growing up? Love what you’re doing btw, absolutely adore how you’ve basically recreated the Winx world! 💗

Thank you!!! and sure thing! long post ahead

BLOOM: she never really had any problems family wise, Vanessa and Mike told her she was adopted at like…. Age 7 or so (in a positive affirming way obvi) and even if any kids teased her about it she never doubted her parent’s love for her. Even with Daphne’s spell helping her blend in with earth life, Bloom still had a nagging sense she didn’t “fit”, and got lost in fantasy books and art whenever possible. Growing up she deals with some body image issues that probably stem from the whole wrong fit feeling. Bloom grew up an artistic and quiet kid, Mitzi and Selina were her best friends from childhood, and because they both had really strong personalities, Bloom often repressed her own feelings in order to play peace maker. Up until high school, where Mitzi, who was always the leader, slowly started to turn into a bully in order to gain the approval/fear of her peers, targeting Selina specifically. Bloom was more of a follower at the time and just didn’t want to loose her friends so she didn’t stand up to Mitzi but tried to treat Selina as if nothing had changed, which was not cool with Selina and she not-so-subtly started to reject Bloom as a friend. Bloom, for her part, did get her shit together and stand up to Mitzi, loosing her only other friend right before her senior year of highschool (she was still technically friends with Andy but they had also just broken up and everything was awkward lmao). Bloom regrets not standing up to Mitzi sooner, and wants to rekindle her friendship with Selina (and Mitzi if she’s willing to tone down the bitchiness).

STELLA: So Stella’s childhood is a little more complicated. Stella is the first SoLuna heir in Solarian history, and a very loud minority protested her very existence. Stella also had to stay close to the Second Sun of Solaria as a child, so she had a very solitary and confined early childhood in a wing of the Solarian castle. When she did figure out how to sneak out she was only 10 or so, and spent most of the time just wandering around the capital city. She didn’t have any problems in the city, but an off duty guard recognized her and took her back to the palace. Stella was then sent to an elite boarding school under a false name (Sasha), she formed close friends with Nova and Varanda, but the trio was the target of the rest of the school’s bullies (for various reasons). Junior high was peak nerd Stella, but she “princess Diary-ed” herself when starting high school and started placing all of her value in her appearance and status as a sex object. Her parents’ marriage was also starting to crumble and Stella felt like she had lost their love. Because Stella craves validation and affection, this lead to a couple bad relationships because the only way she could get people to “love her” in her brain was through physical intimacy, even if it didn’t really fill the void she felt. Nova and Varanda were her rocks during this period and Stella was able to learn to love herself first with their help. Stella was insanely nervous to leave her friends and go to Alfea, and tried to force friendships with other people originally, (this mostly lead to people thinking she was annoying and getting multiple censures from Griselda), and her first genuine connection on Magix was with “Prince Sky” (Brandon). Nova and Varanda were VERY worried when Stella first told them about “Prince Sky”(Brandon) and how fast they had gotten into a relationship and they may have stalked/threatened him on a visit to Stella but they eventually came around and started to like him. Stella being expelled was only kind of an accident, Varanda texted Stella in the middle of a Chemancy class her application to Alfea for the next year had been accepted and Stella got SUPER excited and blew up the classroom. She probably could have stayed in school but her response to Fraragona and Griselda’s “now what do you have to say for yourself young lady” was *giddy laughter* and “ i only wish the explosion had been big enough to send me forward to next year!!!!!” and griselda was like “either she goes or I go” and Stella was like “ya gurl i gone” of course her time back on Solaria didn’t go exactly as planned as her parents were just fighting every time they tried to do something together making her people pleasing/self blaming tendencies worse.

FLORA: ahhh my baby So Flora does remember her father, not a lot and she feel guilty she doesn’t remember more, but she was only 7 when he died. Alyssa remarried when Flora was 13, and eventually she adjusted to having a younger sister who she loves very much now. Due to Rhodos’s nature preservation needing a lot of room for study Flora and Miele grew up pretty far away from any town and didn’t have a lot of friends. This is primarily why Flora and Miele are so close despite their age difference, and why Flora took her role as protector so intensely; she was the only one there (I mean besides the parents obviously). Flora did well in school though she was quiet and reserved, which made making friends even harder than living in the middle of nowhere. She figured out the best way to make people like her was to give them what they wanted, and this snowballed into Flora becoming kind of doormat not comfortable with voicing her true feelings and faking a lot what people expected from her. Flora has a lot of repressed…… everything (Bloom mostly just has a lot of repressed anger she’s good with other emotions lmao) she has trouble identifying what she’s feeling and for the most part is content to leave her feelings buried as long as the surface remains calm. The Winx do help her start to access her feeling more, and encourage her whenever she does voice an opinion. Helia is a perfect match for her in the sense that his quiet nature leaves Flora to express herself without trying to mold herself into whatever she thinks he wants (of course on the flip side this also means Flora and Helia have issues with communication and repression but that’s another topic).

AISHA: hoo boy another complicated one. Aisha was raised in a strict environment, this mostly stems from her parents and their more…. anxious natures, but royalty on Andros is not as free as some of the other planets. Aisha’s world consisted of lessons and adults and rules and she had very little control over her own life. Aisha met Anne in a rare moment of freedom in the tidal gardens where Anne’s father worked. Anne was biding her time waiting for her dad to get off work so they could grab some dinner and was dancing. Aisha just watched her for a while before Anne noticed her and asked her if she wanted to play. The two formed a fast friendship, and Aisha finally started to feel like she had some sort of influence in her own life as she snuck out of lessons to play with Anne every evening she could(obviously their favorite thing to do was dance lol) Unfortunately Anne and her father disappeared one night. Aisha lost her only friend, the only social outlet she had, her one source of freedom, and couldn’t even figure out what had happened. Feeling so out of control lead to a pretty bad anxiety disorder for most of her teens, primarily triggered by the dark or being trapped in some way. She also has issues trusting others and letting people help her. Aisha started to act out, trying to exert any kind of control and relieve some of her anxiety. Her risk taking behavior got pretty bad, but she had started to tone it down after she met and bonded with Piff(royal business trip to Magix she skipped out on). Of course when the pixies went missing she wasn’t going to let her friendship vanish again and tracked them down with a not so healthy single minded determination.

TECNA: born to higher class parents, Tecna had greatness thrust upon her from an early age. She received extra training and education basically from birth, which she was fine with for the most part. Tecna grew up being able to handle academic pressure very well and met all of her teacher’s and parent’s expectations. She and Riven had a brief collision as preteens in a school before Riven got expelled. Tecna’s one issue was that of her emotional intelligence, Zenith doesn’t really place an emphasis on that, so she was able to advance through high school very predictably until she attended a non-Zenith based workshop for magic. She found herself socially ostracized and very very confused. Of course Tecna had never met a subject she couldn’t master and emotions wouldn’t be an exception right??? Wrong. Zenith’s information about the brain and the chemicals produced was of no help, her teachers and parents didn’t understand why Tecna suddenly had this new interest in such an illogical subject, and worst of all, Tecna realized she didn’t understand her own brain chemicals. Tecna had a mini existential crisis, realized she had no idea what she even wanted to do with her life or why it mattered and applied to the Alfea Fairy program because “FAIRY MAGIC EMOTION MAGIC HELP” also it would offer her strong emotional experiences(transformations basically require it), the opportunity to work closely in groups, and personally obverse her dorm-mates emotional states. She got way more than she bargained for but doesn’t regret it a bit.

MUSA: my angst child T-T so basically, the first half of her childhood is p good, her parents work really hard and don’t always have enough money but the family unit is pretty stable. At around 12, Musa’s mom gets sick. Nobody is too worried at first, but she never seems to get better and she takes a big turn for the worse when Musa is about 16, Matlin is finally diagnosed with Core Failure Syndrome. CFS is similar to Core Fatigue, but while Core Fatigue can be remedied fairly easily with rest and magic, CFS is virtually incurable unless it’s caught really early. The causes are still unknown, and the symptoms (fatigue, nausea, cognition issues, and muscle weakness) can be prolonged but mild until it’s too late. In the later stages (extreme fatigue, numbness in the extremities, chest pain, joint pain, memory/focus issues, inability to keep food down) all you can do is try to make the afflicted comfortable. Ho-boe is understandably distraught, and tries to freelance write for music but goes into a pretty bad depressive state. Musa has a few odd jobs here and there, and thats mostly what’s keeping them afloat among heavy medical debt. Musa latches on to her mother for emotional support as Ho-boe is super dissociated. When Matlin does pass as Musa turns 18, Ho-boe finally breaks, and violently destroys every last reminder of Matlin because he can’t deal with the pain. Musa, who has suddenly had her one emotional anchor cut off, is super freaked out and scared by this and it really damages their relationship going forward. Musa becomes incredibly anxious, and can’t really process her mother's death because her father won’t talk about it with her and is still shut off emotionally. Moving to Magix only worsened it as Musa rebelled and went after music with a desperate passion. Applying to Alfea was a way for Musa to get out of the house, and she and her father weren’t on speaking terms when she did leave for the college. Musa had planned on learning more magic to further her career as a musician, special effects infusing magic into a song rubbing shoulders with rich and well connected people who could possibly get her connected to the big shots in music….. The winx situations had her change some of her long term plans a little, but her connection with the group + her separation anxiety and fierce loyalty didn’t really leave any other choice lol

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lustbile-archive · 4 years ago

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*Please read before requesting*

I’ve been getting some blurb and fic requests so I figured it would be helpful to make kind of a guideline of my writing. Regardless of it having a graphic or whatever this is very hastily made, but if you want an idea of my writing HERE is my multi group master list, and HERE is my nct/wayv masterlist Also sorry if I forget anything I’m kinda dumb

Fic Requests: OPEN

Blurb Requests: OPEN

* I write as inclusive as I possibly can

- I doubt anyone has noticed, but I don’t use gendered pronouns. If pronouns are necessary for the flow I will only use they/them. These aren’t personally my pronouns but I just prefer to use them in writing and I’d prefer to not have she/her involved in requests but I’m not going to refuse a request if you do use it. I also do not use gendered pet names such as: baby girl, good girl, or girlfriend

- that being said all readers will be written with a vagina. Sorry if that word made u cringe rip, but I don’t think I’d be able to write anything else :/

- I try not to write anything that makes it seem that the reader has a specific skin color, a specific length or color of hair, or a specific body type. I might slip up on this, and thinking back I think I have, but I want nothing more than for my writing to be able to be read by almost anyone (with a vagina obvi)

* If you request a fic be patient

- If you request something, unless it’s just a blurb or head canon, I’m not going to be able to get to it immediately. I have my own original ideas and a whole series I’m keeping up with so it will be a minute. And I do try to keep up with the smut tags to see if my writing is showing up, so if I see that you’ve also requested the same thing from someone else, I’m going to be less inclined to want to write it, and I might just not write it at all. If you in anyway think maybe I didn’t get ur request, send it again, or send me a message asking if I got it. I probably did but I have other requests or fics lined up first.

- I post a full length work once a week, and I also have a pattern. It goes: original fic, requested fic, & series installment. This being as long as I have an active request obviously. So it will show up eventually but please just be patient

* I’m willing to write for anyone in the groups in my bio EXCLUDING

- Chenle and Jisung of nct

- Jeongin of stray kids

- Chen of exo

* I write memberxReader smut

- I do not write memberxmember stuff

- I have like one sfw work piece on here and that was more of just experimenting with the format idk if I’ll ever do that again but if u request it I might idk

* Tropes/Topics I won’t write

- Explicitly sub!idol. If he isn’t dom, he’ll be either neutral or sub leaning. I’m unfortunately personally a sub/bottom leaning switch and idk if I could write reader as a hard dom very well. But who knows maybe I’ll be in a mood one day and we’ll see what happens

- Reader w/ an certain insecurity, or a fic based around being insecure. The closest I can see myself getting is probably a degradation kink, but not everyone has the same insecurities and as someone who’s working through getting rid of my own insecurities I don’t think that would be something that would benefit my mental health trying to write. Also don’t depend on dumb boys to fix ur insecurities, especially fictional boys you’re too fun and sexy for that

- Size kink. Not everyone is built the same way or petite and acting like people who are are the only ones that consume fanfiction is irresponsible and gross. There’s other reasons I’m really not into this but that’s another rant for another day that would probably piss some people off :)

- Dilf with the reader being barely legal. Like this is actually gross and there’s no reason for grown men to be sexually attracted to teenagers. Dilf where he’s the father of another member and that member the reader r fucking high schoolers: ❌ Dilf where he has a younger child and the age gap is appropriate and not preditory: ✅

- Anything set in high school,,,, no???

- Idol/Trainee! Reader. We’re not all East Asian, I’m definitely not (I’m literally Mexican lmao) and this goes back to the inclusivity thing. Trying to read idol and trainee stuff when ur not East Asian is just, from personal experience, kind of weird

- harry potter au. JK is a raging transphobe/terf and I haven’t given a fuck about harry potter since middle school I wouldn’t know how to write it if I tried

- royalty/medieval stuff cause similarly I don’t know much about it aside from playing skyrim and also fuck royal people

- mafia au’s, they’re repetitive and just not my thing.

-anything fetishizing asians. Just don’t be fucking weird.

- I’m not going to sit here and act like the club x series isn’t kind of grey sometimes with the consent thing, with the nature of what’s going on in the club, it’s kind of hard to avoid, but I try to make consent clear, but with that being said I won’t write something that has 0 consent at all. (I think consensual non consent is okay but I’d probably slip in a discussion of being into that in the fic itself)

- i don’t know what to write I’m into some really freaky shit sometimes so it’s hard to think of stuff I’m giving a hard no to. If you HMU with something I don’t want to write I’ll just tell u

#nct smut #wayv smut #exo smut #got7 smut #seventeen smut #pentagon smut

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brightbeautifulthings · 5 years ago

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"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy."

Fun Fact: I ran a David Foster Wallace blog (andtoyouitsjustwords) for about two years while I was in graduate school. I closed it down and moved the content I wanted to this one when I finished school and realized I wanted to read Every Book Ever, not just the literary ones, but it was a fond time of my life, and he remains one of my favorite authors.

Tumblr doesn't have a large Wallace fandom, but @infinite-jest-again, @sylvanshiner, @gayjewish, and I are banding together for the summer's slowest rereading of Infinite Jest. I'm super excited to be revisiting a book that blew my mind the first time I read it--but I was also trying to pound it in a month on top of classes, thesis, and teaching. I expect this experience will be a lot more chill, and the slow pace will allow us to pick apart every detail (or, as Marie put it, to "notice the water " 😂). We'll be using the schedule designed by the Infinite Summer people, but where they average around fifty pages a day, we're giving ourselves a week for each benchmark for Infinite Slow Summer!

Week 1 (p. 1-63)

"I'd tell you all you want and more, if the sounds I made could be what you hear" (p. 9).

[tw: drug/addiction mention]

I love the first chapter of this book. Wallace really hits the ground running with what is chronologically the last event of the novel, and this scene sets up a near-endless string of questions for how we got to this place. It's clear that something terrible has happened to Hal Incandenza, and while he's having no trouble with a coherent thought process ("I am in here" (p. 3).), he is devastatingly unable to communicate with anyone in the room. I'd argue it could almost work as a short story because the metaphor made concrete is so strong. It's an inherent flaw of communication that what I'm saying may not be exactly what you're hearing, that there's always that gap, however small, in understanding another human. We've all felt that "familiar panic at feeling misperceived" (p. 8) at one time or another. For Hal, this is not a metaphor; it's terrifyingly physical. ("I am not what you see and hear" (p. 13).)

Somehow, Wallace manages to inject humor into a scene that, upon closer inspection, is utterly haunting, but the image of Avril Incandenza running around her garden screaming, "Help! My son ate this!" (p. 11) about a bit of basement mold never fails to make me laugh. The following Erdedy chapter also ends up being humorous with him splayed in indecision in the middle of the room (possibly another philosophical anecdote made concrete in Buridan's donkey). For both Hal and Erdedy, the ritual of getting high seems as addictive as the drug itself. It's reassuring, I think, to start the book off on a strong note, in case we worried we were in for a thousand pages of tedious slog. It can be both, but it's often heartfelt, insightful, and funny as well, and the payoff is well worth the effort. I could probably write paragraphs about every chapter in this section; I don't know how Wallace manages to pack every page with so much meaning, but there's nothing haphazard about this book, despite its size and varied focus. Everything seems to be there for a reason.

"...and some days presents with delusions about people's mouths moving but nothing coming out" (p. 30).

Hal's conversation with a professional conversationalist who turns out to be his father (J.O.I./Himself) is loaded with potential plot points and philosophical intention. J.O.I. is under the impression that Hal doesn't speak, but he seems to be alone in this; Hal is obviously talking to him in this scene, but the way that he talks is fascinating. As Marie pointed out, so many of the conversations in this book are non-conversations. All the characters struggle to communicate, and communication is a topic Wallace struggles with throughout his writing career. Hal has a really specific way of responding to how a person said something instead of what they said. He's commenting on the grammar and vocabulary of Himself's speech rather than on the content of it (grasping the mechanics more than the meaning, which is symbolic, basically, of Hal's entire problem), while Himself seems to have a pre-arranged script in his head regardless of the responses he gets from his son. The result is an utter failure to convey meaning on either side. Like a lot of Wallace stuff, it's funny on a surface level and haunting beneath that, since Hal and Himself's inability to talk to each other drives so much of the novel's conflict.

I'm including a Q&A section under the cut where I attempt to work out some of the major plot events of the story and keep track of the questions I have as I'm reading. However, since this is a reread for all of us, it will contain overall spoilers for the novel. Proceed with caution if you're not familiar!

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS. TURN BACK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

Questions & Working Theories

[tw: drug mention]

Q: What happened to Hal? (Obvi) - Hal purposely ate the DMZ. He even says in this section, "I cannot make myself understood, now. Call it something I ate" (p. 10). I never bought this explanation, though, because later in the book it seems like Hal is making an effort to come off drugs. - The mold Hal ate as a child had long-term effects, and something (coming off drugs?) may have triggered his current condition. Also supported by, "Call it something I ate" (p. 10). - Aaron Swartz has a very convincing theory that Hal accidentally ate the DMZ when The Wraith placed it on his toothbrush. (Again, supported by above.) Hal is an excellent communicator but lacks feelings, and J.O.I. was attempting to create something that would draw his son out of himself. - Hal was injured when the A.F.R. attacked Enfield Tennis Academy. There's a weird line in this chapter: "I once saw the word KNIFE finger-written on the steamed mirror of a nonpublic bathroom" (p. 16). This is likely also the work of The Wraith, indicating some kind of violence, perhaps the A.F.R. attack on Enfield.

Q: Why was Hal hospitalized "almost exactly one year back" (p. 16)? - The side effects of the DMZ were first starting to appear. - Hal was injured in the A.F.R. attack.

It's clear, also, that this was when Hal met Gately. Although they never have an on-page scene together that I recall, Hal refers to the two of them attempting to dig up J.O.I.'s head to find the Entertainment, alongside a masked John Wayne.

Q: How did Gately, Hal, and John find out about the Entertainment in order to dig it up? How did they discover where it was hidden? - Himself actually mentions that the cartridge has been implanted in his head when he's talking to Hal as a posed conversationalist. However, this is all the way back in the Year of the Tucks Medicated Pad, when Hal is only ten-going-on-eleven. Hard to imagine that Hal remembered what was basically a throw-away comment, let alone understood its meaning.

Q: Who is mailing out the Entertainment? - Swartz suggests that it's Orin Incandenza, who later under threat of torture releases it to the A.F.R. This seems well-supported by the text, since the initial cartridge is mailed from Arizona, and it's conveniently sent to a medical attaché with whom Avril probably had an affair (per J.O.I.'s conversation with Hal).

Q: How did Orin find out about the Entertainment?

Q: What happened to John Wayne that he can't win this year's WhataBurger competition?

Q: What "sordid liaison" (p. 30) with the M. DuPlessis, who dies in a later chapter, did the Incandenza family have?

#david foster wallace #infinite jest #infinite slow summer #infinite summer #infinite jest readalong #yrstruly

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bulbspoon9-blog · 6 years ago

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Tempeh Tacos with Raw Cashew Queso

I have to start by saying how incredibly moved I was by the comments on the last post, and the emails I received from you guys – a deep, heartfelt thank you. I knew that opening myself up would spark a lot of conversation, but I never imagined the impact it would have, not only in regards to the incredible outpouring of support, but for sharing your own stories and struggles. Time and time again I am reminded of the power in vulnerability and open communication. I feel truly blessed to have a community of conscious and loving readers, and that we can all share our journey with one another. That is what makes us stronger, and certainly healthier human beings in every sense of the word.

Before I dig deeper into what I’ve been doing to eat for balancing my hormones, I’d like to just follow-up with the topic of orthorexia. Many of you expressed surprise at my struggles, thinking that because I do what I do, I must have had it all together. The truth is I thought that I did have it all together for a very long time, and creating My New Roots has been the most powerful catalyst in my healing. For the last decade, I’ve felt very grounded in my choices and excited to celebrate them with you. But like I mentioned in the last post, the experience of changing my diet has brought back many of the challenges, dark thoughts and feelings that I had convinced myself were gone forever. Putting new restrictions on myself made me to put food into “good” and “bad” categories. This probably doesn’t sound so terrible, but like I said before, this is a slippery slope into full-blown disordered eating for me. I see now that there is an incredibly fine line between caring about what I eat and caring too much. I believe that my relationship to food is something that I may have to keep in check for the rest of my life, or at least as long as I choose to use it as a tool to become a healthier person (so, like, forever).

In the last four months of tuning into what I need right now, and eating more consciously, I’ve really experienced a positive difference in how I feel, which is the biggest reward anyone could ask for! But I’ve also had bad days where I wasn’t prepared, and suddenly being at a wedding or a birthday party, or out for dinner with friends without much to eat in the “good” category, wasn’t so rad. My blood sugar would crash, I’d feel desperate, totally out of control and the voices would come back. What I’ve learned from these experiences is that I need to be as prepared as possible in these situations, but if I can’t, I simply have to let go. I cannot control everything and I cannot always be prepared, but that in order to move forward, I have to maintain flexibility, and stop being so darn hard on myself! I firmly believe that there is more strength in being fluid and forgiving, than rigid and judgmental. I am just a person, after all.

Since many of you were curious about the connection between food and hormone balance, I’d like to discuss it in more detail, and share what I’ve been doing to keep these miraculous chemicals in check, and keep them working for me, not against me!

Upping my fat and protein intake – but especially fat Fats are an essential part of a healthy, well-balanced diet, and they are especially important for hormone balance. Fats actually create the structural components of hormones, and cholesterol specifically is responsible for our reproductive hormones; estrogen, progesterone and testosterone.

The type of fat you choose however, is critical to achieving a positive effect, as the ones you consume become the building blocks for your hormones. Saturated fats like coconut oil, butter and ghee, and monounsaturated fats like olive oil, nuts, eggs, and avocados are excellent choices and should be consumed responsibly every day. Cut back on or eliminate corn, canola, sunflower, safflower and soybean oils, and replace them with the aforementioned instead.

I’ve also increased my protein intake, and consciously replacing more high-carbohydrate foods with more protein-rich foods such as tempeh, hemp, sprouts, activated nuts, eggs, and quality protein powder has really made a difference in stabilizing my energy levels and appetite. Getting enough protein on a vegetarian diet is totally possible, but I find that if I’m not really paying attention, I can dip below the ideal 45 grams a day. Loosely (not obsessively) keeping track of my daily intake of protein has helped me feel my best.

Keeping my blood sugar stable It may seem totally unrelated, but blood sugar and hormones are in fact inextricably linked. One of the main functions of the endocrine system (the system that creates and transports hormones in your body) is delivering glucose to your brain, muscles, and heart. So if anything in that process isn’t working properly, than mismanaged blood sugar is the inevitable result. But what’s worse is that it creates a cascade effect whereby none of the other parts of your endocrine system will work either. Sheesh!

Walking the line between high and low blood sugar is something that I’ve really been focusing on lately, and it’s working well, but it is an ongoing process that takes some getting used to. Including more fat and protein in my diet has been a game-changer for me, since those macronutrients digest slower than carbohydrates – even the complex ones from things like sweet potatoes, quinoa, and chickpeas.

I try to eat a large and protein-rich breakfast within an hour of waking up (after the lemon water, of course!). Lunch is where I get the majority of my calories since that is when I need the most energy. I like eating roasted vegetables, avocado, eggs, and sprouted pseudo-grains like quinoa and buckwheat. I snack in between meals when I’m hungry, but instead of reaching for a slice of rye bread or a rice cake, I’ll have veggies with a high-fat dip, or a handful of my Maple Cinnamon Grain-free Granola. Dinner is mostly grain-free these days and I stick to salads, soups and stews. I go to bed no longer than four hours after dinner so that I’m not hungry right before I hit the pillow. Then I like to have a break of about 14 hours between dinner and breakfast the next day, as my digestion does well on the rhythm of intermittent fasting.

Eating more vegetables (and less bread a.k.a. DUH) I almost always had a couple slices of rye bread at lunch. Not that there is anything “wrong” with doing so, but I’ll admit to feeling pretty foggy-headed afterwards. And because it filled me up so much, I had less room for veggies. Now I’m prepping raw and cooked vegetables ahead of time and keeping them on hand specifically for my big lunches. Some favourites to roast in the oven are cauliflower, sweet potato, pumpkin, red onion, zucchini, tomatoes, and broccoli. I’ve also started cutting up a big plate of veggie sticks in the early afternoon, before I even get hungry, so that it is there and waiting for me – no excuses. Right before diving in I douse it in freshly squeezed lemon juice, Maldon salt and Aleppo pepper. It’s honestly delicious.

I don’t have to tell you that vegetables are full of filling fiber, replenishing phytonutrients, and yes, protein. Especially dem green ones. Eat more plants.

Habits + meal prep I think this was the other big hurdle for me when it came to changing things up with my eating habits. I knew that if I was going to start eating food differently, I’d have to start preparing food differently too – and a lot more often. I already spend a lot of time in the kitchen (obvi) and I love it, but I am also a person who likes to spend her non-work hours away from the cutting board. Eating this way admittedly does take more time, and makes it more challenging to eat out, or just grab something on the go. Coming to terms with this was challenging, but I’ve realized that I have to dedicate more time to my diet if I want to be successful. No matter how you slice it, meal preparation is a very big part of sticking to your goals, whatever they may be. Of course there are times when it’s just not possible to do, and divergent days are fine, but the majority of your food you’re should fall into the category that helps you feel your best, however you define that.

Instead of prepping one day a week, which I know a lot of people like to do, I actually prefer to pepper it throughout the week in a way that is a little more fluid for me. If the Life-Changing Loaf of Bread is in the oven for instance, I’ll chop up a bunch of veggies, and put them in too. If I’m washing greens for a salad, I’ll do all of them so that they’re ready to chuck into a smoothie on a whim. Lee from America’s Fat Balls have also been a super snack these days. And like I mentioned before, having fresh veggies washed and sliced up for afternoon cravings is very helpful. I can prepare two or three day’s worth at a time and keep them in the fridge.

Mindset Instead of looking at food in terms of “good” and “bad” which I think is a dangerously judgemental way to categorize what we’re eating, I like to say “yes” to certain things, and the others fall into the “not-right-now” basket. For instance, I love brown rice to the ends of the earth and back, but I’m not eating it right now since it doesn’t make me feel all that great. And just because I’m not eating brown rice these days doesn’t mean I’ll never eat it again! This leaves room for flexibility and creates a far more sustainable way to look at one’s diet. Isn’t it relieving to know that if you are out for dinner and there’s only rice for example, that you could potentially eat it and not beat yourself up? Ahhhh…did you feel that?! What a relief, eh? Tomorrow you’ll get back on the horse, no big deal at all. Making changes should be fun, and keep those labels for tin cans! You’re a fluid being, ever-changing, so make space for that in your meal planning too.

Self-care routine, stress-reduction, exercise, and sleep I used to see self-care as something that only “people with time” have. Well, after totally hitting the wall a while ago, I realized that it just has to be a priority, respected as a part of a holistic approach to health, and something to actually schedule in the calendar. Staying active, sleeping, and treating myself to some yummy stress-reducing activities like spending time in nature, bodywork, and cooking (go figure) keeps me feeling happy and relaxed. Squelching stress doesn’t happen by accident: it is truly a daily practice and something to be mindful of. Listen to yourself. How can this moment be juicier and more relaxing? It’s fun to love yourself!

Keeping stress levels low means that your body will be relaxed and not producing hormones that should only be reserved for emergency situations. Cortisol is a stress hormone released by the adrenal glands. Every time we experience a stressful situation we secrete this hormone into the blood stream so that our bodies can deal with the stressor at hand. Although cortisol is our friend in acute situations, our systems aren’t designed to be pumping it out ‘round the clock as we juggle and struggle with backlogged emails, fussy kids, and traffic jams. This is why chronic stress is so detrimental to our bodies: prolonged, elevated cortisol levels wreak all kinds of wrong inside of us, raising our blood pressure, causing unwanted weight gain, exhaustion, anxiety, impaired brain function, and weakening the immune response. All the more reason to take self-care seriously, and do the things you love more often. It’s actually healthy.

Sleeping 7-9 hours a night is another non-negotiable. Getting enough sleep helps us to control our cortisol production, balance our blood sugar, and put us back in line with our natural circadian rhythm. Turning screens off an hour before bedtime will help signal to your body that it is in fact, night time. Create a relaxed, cozy environment and spend the last hour before bed reading, stretching, or meditating. I still struggle with this one, as I love looking at Instagram right before turning out the light, but I’m becoming more mindful and doing my best.

Required Reading There are a few really amazing books out there that I recommend every woman reads, whether or not you’re seeking advice on a particular health issue. Understanding our bodies and cycles is the first step in helping ourselves become healthier, stronger, more connected women. Woman Code by Alisa Vitti has been hugely educational and supportive for me. Her book is a guide to figuring out what the heck is going on inside you, and how to correct it through diet and lifestyle. I appreciate her easy-to-understand language and humour in this book, because let’s face it: nothing is very funny when you’re hormones are raging! The Complete Natural Medicine Guide to Women’s Health by Dr. Sat Dharam Kaur has been and continues to be another excellent resource for me. This book is more of an all-round toolkit for lifelong health and healing, than specifically about hormone balance. I love the holistic approach to all conditions, and inspiring programs to get us back in touch with our natural cycles in connection to the earth. The third book I recommend is Hormone Balance by Carolyn Dean. Dean is a naturopathic doctor that utilizes both traditional and alternative solutions to help readers rebalance their hormone levels. Her writing is engaging and inspiring, and this book is full of ways for women to achieve greater overall health.

Oh man, I haven’t even talked about the tacos yet! So. I got the idea for these this past summer when I was chopping up tempeh to replace ground beef with in a tomato sauce for pasta. It turned out so meaty, satisfying, and delish that I thought I could perhaps take that same idea, spice it up a little differently, and serve them in a taco. Woot! I knew that grilled veggies and red cabbage would help cut the richness, but that I would also need a boss sauce to put them over the top. During one of my retreats I made a raw queso in our cooking class and everyone went wild for it. It seemed like a natural fit! Topped with some lime, avo, pickled red onions, and cilantro these were the best tacos I’ve ever had. Ever. Ever. And I’ve had a lot of tacos.

I know some of you are going to ask about the corn tortillas and probably remind me that corn is a “grain”. Yes, I am aware of that, and I’ll remind you that I am not grain-free, just cutting way back. I stick mostly to pseudo-grains and make sure they are soaked prior to cooking, and enjoy a treat like this once in a while. I only purchase tortillas made with sprouted corn, or from corn that has been nixtalmized (that topic is a whole other blog post!). I buy my corn tortillas from Hija de Sanchez here in Copenhagen. Their tortillas are made fresh daily using nixtamalized corn imported from Mexico, so they taste unbelievably good. Of course taco fillings are important to a good taco, but the tortilla quality should not be overlooked! It makes the dish. Go find the good ones.

Print recipe

Tempeh Tacos with Raw Cashew Queso Serves 3-4

Tempeh Taco “Meat” 250g / 8.8oz organic, non-GMO tempeh 1 medium red onion 4 cloves garlic 1 Tbsp. coconut oil or ghee 1 tsp. ground cumin ½ – 1 tsp. chipotle or smoked hot paprika, to taste 2 Tbsp. tamari 2-5 Tbsp. water, as needed

Grilled vegetables 1 medium zucchini 1 medium red onion 1 red bell pepper ½ tsp. fine sea salt 1 tsp. ground cumin a couple pinches of cayenne, if desired

12 small corn tortillas (try to find organic, non-GMO if possible) 1 batch Raw Cashew Queso, recipe below

Optional add-ins: 1 ripe avocado 1 small bunch cilantro pickled red onion or thinly sliced red onion shredded red cabbage tossed with a little salt and lime juice limes for serving hot sauce

Cooking and assembly: 1. Start by making the Raw Cashew Queso (see recipe below).

2. Heat your grill or barbecue to medium-high. If not using a grill, simply cook everything in a skillet on the stove.

3. Finely chop or crumble tempeh into whatever size appeals to you (mine were rather small to mimic ground beef). Set aside. Mince red onion and garlic. Set aside.

4. Soak wooden skewers in water while you prepare the vegetables, or longer if you remember. If using metal skewers, skip this step.

5. Wash and cut the zucchini and onion into rings, the peppers into chunks. Place in a large bowl and toss with the salt and spices.

6. Skewer the vegetables so that their largest surface will lay flat on the grill (see photo). Alternate veggies until you’ve used them all. Place on the grill and cook until stating to char on the underside, anywhere from 5-10 minutes, depending on your cooking method. Flip and cook on the other side.

7. While the vegetables are grilling, cook the tempeh. Heat your cooking oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onion and a few pinches of salt. Cook until starting to brown, about 7-10 minutes. Add garlic and cook for another minute until fragrant. Add crumbled tempeh, cumin, chipotle, and stir well to incorporate. Pour in the tamari, followed by a couple tablespoons of water. Stir well and add water as needed – you’re after a moist mixture. Taste and adjust seasoning as desired. Cook for a total of 10 minutes. The mixture should be golden brown, hot and delicious!

8. Warm the tortilla shells on the grill or in a pan over medium-high heat.

9. Spoon the desired amount of tempeh into each tortilla shell. Followed by the roasted veggies, avocado, cabbage, cilantro and pour on the Raw Cashew Queso. Enjoy!

Raw Cashew Queso Makes about 2 cups / 500ml

Ingredients: 1 cup / 150g cashews, soaked for 4-8 hours or overnight 1 red bell pepper ½ tsp. salt 2 Tbsp. nutritional yeast 2-3 tsp. freshly squeezed lemon juice, to taste ½ clove garlic 1 small piece fresh turmeric ground cayenne, to taste ½ cup / 125ml water

Directions: 1. Drain and rinse the cashews.

2. Put all ingredients, except water, in a high-speed blender or food processor and blend, adding water one tablespoon at a time until the desired consistency is reached. If you want a thick cream, use less water, for a thinner sauce, use more. (You will not achieve a perfectly smooth sauce with a food processor, but it is still delicious!).

Before I go I just want to reiterate how wonderful it felt to be met with such open arms after the last post. I wish I could write back to every single one of you who shared their story with me, and everyone else here, but I simply couldn’t get to them all. I am moved beyond words that so many of you felt open and supported in this space too, and I will urge you to seek out help if you need it. And if you know someone who you think may struggle with disordered eating, reach out and help them in a loving, and non-judgmental way. We are all in this together.

In love and light, Sarah B

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http://www.goldencircleretreats.com/portugal/index.html Dear friends! I am thrilled to share the location for my next wellness retreat in magical Comporta, Portugal, November 5-11, 2017. Join Mikkala Marilyn Kissi and I at Sublime Comporta for seven days of luxurious living, divinely delicious meals, inspiring cooking classes and nutrition seminars, yoga, Pilates, meditation, and breath work. Come press the reset button with me! Ride horses on the beach, dance under the stars, and cozy up by the fire. This will be a week to remember. I can’t wait to see you there! Click here for more info and tickets.

Source: https://www.mynewroots.org/site/2017/09/tempeh-tacos-with-raw-cashew-queso/

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