#I have more to say but I'm tiredddd

[tibtew]

*sigh* something something the two-dimensionality of saeru's characterisation is a writing flaw, not a feature, and trying to pass it off as a feature whilst berating anyone who sees it as a flaw is uh. A Choice

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Winter's King 9

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, cheating, violence, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are a maid to the Duke of Debray, a lord of the Summer Kingdom. That is, until the king of Winter appears with his particular air of coldness. (Medieval AU)

Characters: Geralt of Rivia

Note: I can't explain why but damn I'm so tiredddd.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

As you approach the capital, you can’t help but poke your head up to admire the domes of the great castle and the high towers. The gates stand open as the party advances, in wait of their new liege and lord. You shield your eyes against the sun as you gaze at the silhouette of the mighty architecture. 

“May as well get a good gander,” Bryce says, “doubt the kitchens are any more glorious than the ones you know.” 

“Mm,” you retract your gaze and sigh, “suppose. But they will still be new to me.” 

“Not all that is new is wondrous,” he girds. “For as much as I’ve seen in this world, it is the familiar that keeps me sane.” 

You nod and let the cart rock you. Ahead of you, the horses tread over rocks and dirt, wagons bounce and creak, and some servants walk afoot to ease the cramps in their legs. You lean lazily on a chest and fold your hands in your lap. It will at least be nice to stay beneath a proper roof again. 

The streets of the city are crowded with faces. They do not holler for you but you can hear the raucous uproar ahead as the king and queen ride between the citizens. There are even more black and grey soldiers stationed along the roads, awaiting your arrival. 

As you wind up to the royal castle, the noise grows tantamount. At the walls of the grand structure, clusters of people threaten to crush the party between their writhing bodies. It takes some time after the king’s entrance for the luggage to make way into the courtyard. 

The carts depart around the back of the castle as the horses make way for the stables. You climb out as Bryce lurks around, dismounting Daisy with a grunt as he rubs his lower back. You glance over at him as the other servants quickly fall into work. 

“Maid,” he calls to you before you can follow suit, “no doubt the queen will need to wash away the road before she faces the hordes.” 

He beckons you forth with his gauntlet and you diligently near him. He hands off Daisy to a castle servant and carries on inside. You scurry beside him as he stops and gauges his surroundings. He is not versed with the corridors but he presses on unimpeded. 

You turn back a few times before you reach the great hall. It is crowded and chaotic. The soldier strides through without pause. You nearly grab onto him just to keep from being lost in the stirring of soldiers and servants, and the tittering lords and ladies in their colourful garb. 

Up the stairs and a few questions grunted to his comrades, Bryce takes you down to a set of chambers with yet another soldier before it. You’re let inside without question. You find Queen Jazlene before a steaming basin as another servant cleans her face. 

The queen scrunches up her nose and swats the lady servant, the maid still in the former king’s colours; burnt autumn orange and goldenrod yellow. 

“Watch my eyes, you moron,” Jazlene chides and jabs her nail into the maid’s ribs. 

“My lady, I didn’t mean--” 

“I am a queen, not a lady,” Jazlene hisses, “be gone before I have your teeth knocked out of that stupid mouth of yours.” 

The other maid wrings the cloth and steps back on her heel, chewing on an apology before she spins to flee. As she nears the door, she notices you and gives a panicked look. You reach to take the cloth from her before you go to the queen. 

“Your highness,” you greet her and dip the cloth back in the steaming water. “Would you like me to put ribbons in your hair?” 

“Mm, I suppose,” she tilts her face up and closes her eyes, “once the dirt is gone. By gods, I hate traveling.” 

You gently wipe along her hairline and trace the outline of her face. You delicately but intently clean away the errant dust and streaks. You drape the cloth over the brim of the basin and turn to the table. 

“And would you like your lips painted?” You intone. “Your highness, I do think your natural tones are beautiful.” 

As you peek back at her, her eyes open and she stares at you. Her nostrils compress as she inhales. She puts her head straight and looks at her reflection. 

“Do you think so?” She touches her cheeks. 

“Yes, I do, if you line your eyes, they might appear bigger but they are so lovely and dark already,” you compliment. 

She hums and tilts her head, turning her attention back on you, “it’s you.” 

You lower your head, “your highness?” 

“You’re always flitting around like some bird,” she sniffs, “suppose you are not so... agitating as the other. Yes, ribbons and some kohl. Then I will have one of the former queen’s gowns. They have delivered her wardrobe to me.” 

“Yes, your highness,” you say and go to work. 

You settle into your usual lull. The queen sips from her goblet as you twine ribbons with her curls, a halo around the crown of her head as coiling strands hang down to her back. She looks even more immaculate than you’ve seen her before. 

She calls for a dress and you bring her several options from those strewn across the large bed. She chooses the lavender and you help her into the light silk. You relace it to account for her lither figure, the former queen having some extra years in her hips. 

When she is dressed, she twirls before the mirror. She stops and sets her chin straight and glares at herself. She arches a brow coyly. 

“I cannot wait to see Lady Florence,” she scoffs, “she will choke when she realises I am her queen.” 

You linger by the wall, blending into the tapestry as she sighs and eyes the glass affectionately. She primps herself and spins again. 

“Well then, I must be overdue,” she goes to the door, “I must go to the king and show him I can be his queen.” 

You open the door for her and follow her out. The soldiers outside glance at her but do not move or speak. Bryce comes up beside you as you trail after Jazlene. She struts to the end of the corridor and is stopped by another guard at another door. 

“Do not think to stop me,” she spits, “I am the queen,” she flicks her fingers in his direction, “don’t be absurd.” 

The man lets her through as she tugs on the latch and his dull eyes stare past her. She hardly has the effect she thinks. People do not admire her so much as they tolerate her. 

She sweeps into the chamber as you wait outside. Bryce lets out a gritty breath and taps his fingers on his sword pommel. He chews more of the sweet leaves he loves so much. Jazlene emerges with a doe-like look. 

“Where is the king?” She exclaims. 

“He has gone to address the people,” the guard picks at his teeth. “He tired of waiting--” 

“Do not tell me about the king,” Jazlene snaps on the soldier, “ugh, let us find my husband. How can he think to face my people without me at his side?” 

She storms onward and you can only follow. She will no doubt need wine sooner than later, though you wish she might take more water or milk instead. Bryce keeps your pace slowed as he makes little haste. 

As she descends the steps, you can hear the king’s voice. The crowd is hushed, almost hypnotised as he speaks from atop a chair. Somehow, he is both overwhelming and unassuming. Jazlene shows as she sees him. The crowd does not move out of her way as they are rapt in his words. 

“...do not come as conquerer, but as liberator,” he declares, “I am not here to suppress but to unite. Our kingdoms, forged together as one, can attain glory. Peace. Joy. Our people needn’t suffer the droughts or frost rot without relief. By coming together, we will join summer and winter in harmony,” the king holds his sword, the tip on the armrest of the wooden chair, “to you lords who stayed loyal to Waleran, I do not seek retribution. You only did your duty and served the king you put an oath to. You had no part in his violations upon myself. I am aware you could not rein in your greedy master. You will keep what is yours, as by rights, but you will swear fealty to the new crown.” 

King Geralt looks around the hall, “I have spoken to the farmers and the peasants, I have seen the beauty of your lands. I wish not to ravage it but to build it. You will not have only from me writs and declarations, you will have fields sown, you will have harvests reaped, you will have coin in flow, and you will have full bellies.” 

He raises his great sword over his head. The large weapon could be held only by two-hands in anothers grasp but he lifts it effortlessly. 

“I saw how your king tucked tail when he saw me on the field. After you good lords followed him to battle and sacrificed your men and your blood. He could not stand and fight, but many of you did, many of you not here today. I will not let their souls be spent in vain,” he pauses and his golden eyes rove around the room. He points his sword suddenly towards you but not quite, at Jazlene, “I have taken a summer wife.” He curls his fingers to gesture her to him. People swivel to see her and clear the path to the king, “a winter’s king must have a summer’s queen, if our kingdoms our to rise anew.” 

Jazlene sways before she gets her footing. She moves forward, chin high as she lets a grin break out over her face. She looks this way and that, gloating as she goes to her husband. He steps down as she approaches and he takes her hand. He helps her up on the chair herself and she seems almost confused by the act. 

“Queen Jazlene of Debray,” King Geralt proclaims, “she will return with me to the Hinterlands to see that order is kept across our realm and perhaps, the next time I look upon you all, I will have an heir to present to you. A young prince to lead us into the sun ahead.” 

He raises Jazlene’s hand as she fawns. The crowd breaks out in racket, voices swelling to the rooves as you’re jostled against Bryce. The lords and ladies, servants and soldiers, throw up fists and hoot and holler. 

The king brings his sword up again, silence falling at the gleam of its silver blade, “but first, a feast!” 

The fervour is even louder as the hall explodes in glee. You hear it ripple out the doors into the crowd without and like an ocean, the tides carry through the courtyard and front gates, streaming into the city. Peace has come and old grudges cannot take the shine from the gift of a king’s mercy. 

⚔️

“Your highness, we heard of what happened on Stag’s River,” an earl, you think he said his name was Kelvan, “it was a brave stand. Admirable, even standing upon the other ridge.” 

“You were there?” King Geralt muses, “mm, how fortunate our paths did not cross.” 

“Indeed, your highness,” the earl agrees, “I must admit, I dreaded it.” 

“But here we are, alive, together, as allies. It is all I ever wanted.” 

“And we knew it. We knew it, my liege, for when you let our men march back at all, we saw your grace,” Kelvan smiles. 

“Yes, but I have only ever admired your lands, never had I wanted to ruin them,” the king assures as he looks over at his wife. 

“He is a brave and good king,” Queen Jazlene praises as she puts her hand over the king’s. 

Lord Kelvan’s lips ripple, “mm, yes, I have not seen your father yet. If I shan’t happen upon the Duke, you will send my regards.” 

There’s an edge that makes you uneasy. You see how Jazlene bobs her head, “so I shall.” 

She doesn’t seem to notice the tick of resent in the earl’s cheek. How odd it is that they are so fond of the invader and yet their own kith and kin, they cannot help but revile. You’ve heard the whispers swirling already. It was not King Geralt who betrayed these people but this snakish woman and her blood. 

“Wine, girl, now,” Jazlene snaps as the early departs back to his seat. 

You stand against the wall, just behind the bench she shares with the king. You come forward with the jug reserved only for her, nearing between the shoulders of the royal couple. Before you can put the spout to brim, King Geralt’s hand catches the swollen belly of the ewer. 

“Perhaps you might have some more lamb before you indulge further, wife,” he girds. 

“It is a feast,” she slurs, “I am only celebrating. With you,” she touches his sleeve, “my king.” 

“I see that,” his voice is low but firm, “yet you are a queen and your subjects are watching.” 

“I can stomach my wine,” she sneers. 

He huffs and wraps his hand around the bottom of the handle, just below your grip. He wiggles it away from you and sets it on the other side of his plate. Jazlene lets out a childish gasp. 

“It is just wine,” she snivels. 

King Geralt runs his fingers along his collar, “we are having a good night,” he says as he peers out on the crowd, “please, let us not make a scene.” 

“I am not making a scene. I am the queen and I want more wine,” she insists. 

He faces forward completely. You stay as you are, trapped in their indecision. He blocks the jug with his elbow and she claps her hands on her lap and kicks her feet.  

“Perhaps you should have some of that wine,” she mutters, “it might make you kinder.” 

The king doesn’t reply and instead greets another lord; one who introduces himself as the Count of Bress. As they speak, Jazlene leans back on the bench and tugs your skirt. You look down at her. 

“Find more wine,” she growls, “and don’t be obvious about it.” 

“Your highness, but the king--” 

“I am your master, not him,” she snarls and nudges you harshly, “be away before I lose my patience.” 

You dip your head and notice how the king’s head turns towards his wife. You don’t look back as you critter off quickly into the shadows. You might be better to take your time and tell her you could not abscond any more wine. If you wait long enough, it might even slip her mind, as so often her desires fade into the next. 

[formulapookie]

I would love some marc/bez and rosquez fic recs if you have time < 3

YEAHHHHHHHH

I love doing thisss

so

marcmarc: I'd definitely check out

@anitalianfrie (on Ao3) it's a oneshot, straight up smut and it's reaaally good, not long but a really good read @yamahussy wrote a three parts fic that got me first into the ship, I loved it a lot, also more psychological smut? idk how to describe it in these terms, it's Marc messing with Bezz's head in a sexual way @yeastinfectionvale and the domestic marcmarc fics they wrote, really cute if you're feeling less like reading smut and more fluff of those two freaks @hotmessmaxpress wrote a fluffy piece about them and also a REALLY GOOD smut which is a threesome between Vale Marc and Bezz @boxboxluckybird and their amazingly cute crow!Bezz fic where EBzz collects and gifts trinkets to the ones he loves, including Marc and Marc...well read it and find out :) fluffy and reallyyyyyyyy cute, a bit angsy because BEzz doesn't believe in himself/is scared of Vale's opinion @vanillow WHAT CAN I SAY EXCEPT PERFECTION MADE FIC AUTHOR her turbulent -> smut, angst, fluff, it has everything you can possibly need or desire, hints to rosquez too, the scars Vale left on Marc and how Bezz tries to heal them somehow and the devil electric (there's a pt.2 too, this one's smut) they are OHHHH SO GOOD she's my personal favourite :) @montemei and their beautiful fic where the academy boys + Vale and Alex find out about Marcmarc is aaaaaaaa amazing it has both fluff and smut, the ending is OH SO GOOD

I would also say my fic but it's on hold for now so if you'd like to check it out be aware it didn't end it's just I've not been in the right mood to continue it

rosquez: oh god it's going to be long 😭

@vanillow ONCE AGAIN SHE'S AMAZING her reconciliation (for now just angst) and amnesia (ANGST AND FLUFF AND EXTERNAL POVS TOO IS AMAZING) AUs are amazingly written, also the cyborg! and the VR46!Marc AUs (still haven't read the last two but I swear I will) @yeastinfectionvale THE GENDERBENT ONE IS MY FAVVVVVV and also love this one fluff right here :) @anitalianfrie and her reconciliation fic that made me smile like a thousand times, it's rosquez reconciliation seen through tumblr eyes @sammyche oooooo not only her asks are amazing and her answers better, she wrote this smutshot here that I personally read like five times already, plus a really good WAG!Marc (seriously check out the asks and her answers you'll get lost into a ton of possibilities) @thesunthemoonthestarstheearth oh god THEIR TALENTTTTTT personal favourite is forever seeking ; forever binding it's angst, DEEP AND CRUEL ANGST but it's worth every tear (you WILL cry) also the fluffy one shot and the smut one :) they wrote other fics and they're all in their bio (I'd want to out them all but it's currently 1.30 am and I've got work tomorrow, but CHECK THEM OUT) @hotmessmaxpress HORROR AU HORROR AU HORROR AU -> angst and fluff, a beautiful introspection into Marc's mind, all of its parts, amazing showstopping spectacular ANDDDD their OnlyFans! AU smut and fluff, really beautiful and the cameo of my flop babies Bezz and Celin @moonshynecybin is a wonder with words, I love her fics, can't find the tags fo rall of them but go check out her blog!! @ray935sworld wrote a cute academy boys de-ageing fic where Vale and MArc are together and act like parents, beautifulll fluff @october3811 also wrote very intersting fics (Iswear I'd tag all of them but I'm tiredddd) @lastlatebraker and all her ficss

once again I surely forgot someone (sorry) I am just tired will cehck tomorrow moring and add those I forgot <33

as before I'd love for you to check out my rosquez fics too, they're all tagged in my pinned post, but no pressure, enjoy those I spoke about above first <333

[microtyalm13]

how you been ໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶ ꒱ྀི১₊˚⊹♡

I've been using twitch a lot recently so now I have two favourite streamers and i might have a thing for american guys

How do your characters speak? Like, accents speech tics etc...

Anyways, have a nice day ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

-- 🍞anon

hi darling anon <) i'm good! i'm living alone rn, trying to go out more, looking after the house and my cat. so yeah, a little busy, but very much content. just returned from the trip to our dacha with my aunt and my grandma, actually! <З very eepy but damn do i love nature and women... good for you btw! i don't really watch twitch streamers... besides kwite lmao

so,

How my Ocs Speak! or smth i haven't thought too much about it there could be errors and mistakes bc i am TIREDDDD

gavriil. — you think with looks like his he might sound like an actual angel singing to you while you ascend but NO. his voice very much HURTS. it's always echoes, almost vibrates and sounds like it's coming from your head. he can change it ofc and tone it done for you a little so you can talk to him without headaches <,,) somewhat official and ominous at first, wants to sound as menacing as possible for his first impression. but then, down the line and if he likes you enough, he'll be very casual and nonchalant, throwing in curses and all that. doesn't have a particular accent because bro literally knows every language on earth and more, sounds a little uncanny if anything. artificial maybe. but still just as lively, teasing and sometimes dramatic. purrs... sometimes. can speak directly into your mind and read it too.

xiaolong. — has the most enjoyable voice out the bunch. velvet, melodic, charming. always sounds very convincing and can sell you anything. literally the perfect host. languid and mellow, has a habit of humming "mmm"; "hmm?";"mmhm" and sighing. his voice claim is john park, korean va for espresso cookie, and i think xiao himself has a korean accent. very expressive but also very collected. won't say anything unnecessary. rarely curses.

taisya\tasechka. — jumbled and gurgled speech. absolutely horrid voice, but he usually speaks slowly so you can more or less understand what he says. breathes really hard and swallows words when excited. doesn't speak unless spoken to, and even then gives short, vague answers. no intonations whatsoever. prefers to just shake/nod his head or point and gesture with his hands if he wants something. has an ability to purr too but his version is a little more fucked up.

derzena. — monotone, expressionless, blunt. you will never understand if she's joking or not because this woman is like a BRICK WALL her face and voice never betray her. voice is raspy but pretty quiet, speaks slowly and steadily, clearly thinking everything over in her head before saying something. mimics human speech\animal noises to lure in men that are trespassing on her grounds to later eat them 💪 with her beloved often makes those quick "ekekeke" noises (like the ones cats make when they see a bird or smth...) to show affection. SAVE ME BIG cRYPTID WOMAN

veniamin. — rough, gruff voice. clicks his tongue so loudly he can probably shatter the fucking windows. exasperated and dramatic at all times. usually pretty loud, groans and sighs all the time when annoyed. in the mornings his voice is so raspy it's startling. curses a lot. mocks people's voices when he's angry at them or tries to put them in their place. or just to be a little annoying. HORRIBLE at singing yet does it all the time when he walks around in his house wearing nothing but a robe.

livy. — rarely speaks, usually resorts to clicks and chirps, maybe even hisses if threatened. doesn't have a lot of practice in speaking actual words, so it might be a little hard at first. at least for you, because he seems to understand you perfectly fine, it's you who doesn't understand what mothman wants from you half the time. surprisingly soft but hoarse voice... very warm sounding, idk. pauses and forgets the right words sometimes, but it does not stop him from teasing YOU.

have a good day <]

[jaozendry]

NEW YEAR SPECIAL: A New Beginning

Pairing: Tom!Peter Parker x GN!Reader

Warnings: slight mentions of suicide & self-harm

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Summary: After a very hard year, Peter comforts you due to your anxiety: you're afraid 2023 will somehow be worse than 2022.

Author's note: happy new year!! stay strong ppl <33 sorry its a short one today im tiredddd

______________________________________________________________

"You okay?" Peter asks you, opening the door to your room. "I didn't see you at the party." You remove your headphones and wipe away the tears dripping down your face while looking away. He notices your current emotional state and sits down on your bed, caressing your hip. "What is it?" he asks with sincerity in his eyes. "I- uh, I don't know. It doesn't matter anyway." you reply, smiling faintly to reassure him.

He clearly knows that's a lie. Peter knows 2022 has been a hard year for you, both mentally and physically. You've been bleeding out all year, both hypothetically and literally.

He caresses your arm: "I'm proud you made it through this year, I really am." he tells you, slightly tearing up. "It's almost over. Next year will be a new beginning for you, trust me." You start to tear up even more. "But... what if nothing changes? What if I'm still in that mindset? What if I attempt suic-" As you start to freak out and lose control of your emotions, Peter gently puts his hand on your mouth. "Don't say that, please." he tells you, also tearing up and removing his hand from your mouth. "I'm here for you. We'll make it through this year, together." he explains, earning a little smile from you.

"There's that beautiful smile I've been looking for." he says jokingly. "Feeling better now?" he asks, caressing your face. "Yeah. Thanks. I guess I just needed to hear that you'll be there for me. Especially after this year." you reply, holding his hand while he nods in understanding. "We'll have a good year, right?" you ask, wiping your tears once more. "Oh, we will. Don't worry." he says while smiling.

"Come on, they're waiting for us." he says, standing up and reaching out his hand. "I don't think I'm looking too good after bawling my eyes out." you reply in a jokingly sad manner. "Y/N, you always look good. What did I say? We'll have a good year." he says, taking both of your hands. "That means a more positive mindset." he explains, playfully ticking your head while the both of you laugh. "We'll work on that. Okay?" he tells you while you stare into his beautiful eyes. "Fine." you giggle. "Only one drink."

The both of you finally stand up and leave the room. "What?" you giggle while he stops and simply stares at you. He goes for a kiss and you engage back. He breaks free and a few seconds of awkward silence occur. He finally breaks the silence, whispering into your ear:

"We'll have an amazing year, Y/N, trust me."

[ash-the-porcupine]

Little one shot I made a while back :) I'm supposed to be learning about viscosity in Chemistry right now but I'm tiredddd

Buster Moon sighed as he placed himself on the couch. It was three in the morning, and this was something of a ritual by now. He struggled to keep his eyes open, yet was far too awake to close them.

His little paws clung to a cup of steaming tea, where a teabag bobbed up and down at the surface. He made it for the smell more than anything. He hated himself for his trauma, and for the trouble it caused. He was always so anxious and jumpy, and it made it hard to get anything done.

Rosita and the others noticed, of course. It was hard to miss. But he hated to see the worried stares of his friends. He hated to know he was hurting them. And yet still when they inquired about his wellbeing, the lie that escaped his mouth was impulsive, and he could never even think before it slipped out.

When he said he was fine, he never meant it at heart. But oh, how he wished he did! It hurt him to know that his words dampened the spirits of those he cared about. He was aware that not a single on of the troupe believed Buster was 'fine,' or anything of the sort, for that matter.

He wanted to tell them how much he was hurting, but his thoughts would not allow it. Most of the time, his pain presented itself in the form of a tight feeling in his chest, nightmares, and little flashbacks. Sometimes these flashbacks were just little flickers, fissures in the present reality, but he couldn't ignore them.

He couldn't help the stab of fear when the face of a friend, a warm and loving figure, was suddenly replaced with the face of those who wished him harm. Sometimes that face was Jimmy Crystal, sometimes it was Angus Chrome, and other times it was Norma Hawkins - as the freshest trauma in his mind.

And these faces plagued his nightmares. He couldn't control it - despite his fervent wishes - but they did. And the fact that Buster was becoming increasingly phlegmatic plagued the dreams of his friends. No, his family.

Buster was slowly forcing himself to appear emotionless. He didn't even realize it himself. And when he wasn't, the happiness and charisma he put on display were just that: a display.

But wanted to apologize. So why couldn't he? He had the capability, of courze. Maybe he just didn't have the heart, as much as it pained his to say.

He sipped at the tea, looking down at it and watching the little swirls in the liquid drift apart and together in the surface, a paper-thin barrier. He closed his eyes for a brief second and breathed in the scent deeply, taking it in.

Maybe he should tell somebody. But how? He knew that the moment they said something, his mouth would only spill lies. He was disgusted with himself. Is this all he was? A charlatan and a negating runaway?

That. That's what he was doing. He was running away from his problems. He sniffed, looking up and out his office window. He could see the odd car driving by, headlights illuminating the streets and the darker corners of his room. A few street lamps flickered dimly, the light just enough the draw his eyes, and he saw an animal walk down the sidewalks once or twice.

And he had to wonder now as he tilted his gaze to look at what little of the night sky he could see through the window: would he be like this forever?

He felt like all he did anymore was chase the approve of others, trying to find some way to, what, confirm that his own self was valid? Why did he need a random stranger to validate him? Ash had told him so many times, as had the others, that he didn't need strangers to tell him he was good enough, he just had to believe it himself.

And that is where it all went wrong. He didn't. And so he took desperate measure after desperate measure to try and fix some part of himself that he couldn't even recognize.

First he flooded the theater, then he lied and got him and his family incoorporated with Crystal, then with Angus Chrome, and again with Norma Hawkins. It felt a god-awful Groundhog Day at this point.

And each of his mistakes came back to haunt him. He would have been willing to do anything to escape his problems at this point, but instead he just wallowed in his sadness.

As another flash passed before his eyes, a milisecond of Norma's talons, he made up his mind. He opened up his laptop, clicked Ash's email, and finally said something.

"Can I talk to you?"

[izacore]

trust me when I say the majority of fans are disappointed if not that tired af this time. yeah you might see some ppl coddling him on twitter but that is a small minority. and those who are not expressing on twitter are letting it out in gcs. Like the fans who have been forever are tiredddd. And that's saying something since he has no new fans this era and most of them are here since 1d. so yeah happy faith in the future with the same old team louis.

Good. This is going to be a stream of conciousness so bear with me, but recently I've been wondering if Louis or lthq aren't a bit disappointed with the fanbase so they stopped nurturing it so much? I mean, I am pretty certain that they hoped for more with FITF release and the fitf tour, considering what kind of venues they booked and how many dates they put out. And imo, if all this happened in 2020/2021 the fanbase would be more than enough to sold everything out and keep the album on top of the charts for longer. I think that maybe they saw the fanbase growth, saw the numbers the livestream pulled and then just took it for granted and thought it's always going to be like that and that fans are going to stay through everything. Unfortunately tho I feel like lthq and tbh Louis too don't really know this fanbase, its dynamic, how it operates and why people wanted to follow and support Louis in the first place so it's hard for them to work out a strategy. I mean, you won't tell me that someone business savvy would recommend pushing with the Freddie stuff that turned off A FIFTH of his 2020 fanbase off if we go off of his twitter engagement. He says that we need him and he needs us and I don't know if it's true in its entirety anymore... I mean he does need us but do we need him? What content is his putting out there for us to enjoy. When we look at the doc alone it's stunts and struggles of a straight laddy lad devoted dad. I'm nkt sure that people necessarily need this person. At least personally the reason why I fell in love with him as an artist and as a person was cause he seemed such an inspiring, fearless, bold and resillent personality and I could believe in him and his fight. This is who I need. Because what exactly is he now against or what is he fighting for? Do lthq and Louis even know why fans feel such a strong connection to him? Why they want to support him? Cause in my opinion it feels like they have they idea of the fanbase completely wrong and I think they kinda proved it with the doc where they shows passion as camping and stalking completely writing off any other parts of his amazing fanbase. What it shows to me is that they only have a surface level knowledge about Louis' fandom and like with everything, the bare minimum is their comfort zone. And now you have this thing with this cancelation, where he didn't even mention what exactly he cancels and who exactly is affected as if hey let's pretend it was all a dream. And comparing it to him writing a lengthy explanation for when they had to postpone the signings for the fans in the UK.... I guess it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I could go on and on and on about Louis' situation but I think I can bring it all down to 3 main points:

1. As long as Louis and lthq don't figure out, that it wasn't the extra laddy lad Louis who sold out the first tour and who people followed back then, nothing will change.

2. Louis and lthq have to stop wanting to be an indie artist with mainstream numbers.

3. Bare minimum won't fly forever. You base your image on your connection with fans and they always show up for you, but when was the last time you showed up for them, when you went the extra mile for the fan experience? If you want the way you treat your fans to be your main thing, then I'm sorry but you could learn a lot from people like Lewis Capaldi when it comes to nurturing and connecting with the fans.

[zhuhongs]

もういい！！ I'm legit going fucking crazyyyyy... i swore up and down that i love studying chinese so taking these classes would be a breeze for me. but im fucking tiredddd. i feel like there's no joy left in me when i study.

We go through this book so fast, I'm too busy cramming 5 dif grammer structures into my head more than i have time to fully process the 20 smth new words we just learned. And then our teacher is like "hmm, ive noticed yalls pronunciation is bad... this is definitely bc you dont listen to the audio CD and not bc we barely speak 1 on 1 in class." and im like 老師 i listen to the the CD, but listening to someone say it is never gonna help me if i don't repeat it constantly. i mean i can speak in my free time but its gonna be by myself and if i make a mistake I'm gonna drill that mistake in my head before im able to be corrected by you. and our hw is never like what we learn in class!!! and then she's super hard on our hanzi when she never shows us the stroke order. we just follow the book but seeing a real person do it is much better and like. i dont really think this is her fault either. we only have a limited time and the point if the class is to pass an arbitrary amt of lessons bc of a lot of logistics and other stuff and like. i know my teacher is aware of these things and she tries her best, the fault rlly doesnt lie with her. but god am i frustrated. yk like i see all my roommates in level 1 having the legit easiest lessons. like not even bc i already know the grammar, but like they tell me what they do in class and its simple but overall lacks good teaching structure and idk. i really feel like the whole language center doesnt really teach us effectively. its more like rote memorization. and im just like.. welp. i was trying to be hard working bc i dont rlly have any friends but im overall just stressed and annoyed but its okay... i just need to rant and be angry and i can carry on. but god, yea i miss my old university. I'm so out of my element here but its okay. regardless of the outcome, thus is valuable experience. but yk... sighs

[kinksvt]

requested:

anon: Hello!!! Can you do a junhui fwb w/ fluff at the end?:”)

→ pairing: junhui x reader

✱ genre/warnings: fwb!junhui, rough sex, bit of dirty talk, lotta fluff at the end with a hint of angst

✱ word count: 3,232

a/n: sorry for another long wait! but i hope you enjoy!

Since the moment you and Jun met, you both knew that what your friendship delivered, it wouldn't be close to just friends.

Since the day he went to a party and drunk texted you that he couldn't even focus on the girl that he was trying to hit it and quit it because he wished it was instead you, things would never just be a friendship. After a night of talking that slowly escalated into suggestive texting into straight out dirty talk and more than revealing pictures of the two of you, it changed the way you and Jun would see your so-called "friendship." But of course, neither of you minded so. You both didn't have anyone in your life besides each other, nor any plans for a relationship.

Thus how you two came up with "Y/N and Junhui's Guide to Benefits." In that guide, there were, rules, to keep your "friendship" steady and without any harm.

Rule number one, you cannot sleep with anyone else without knowledge of the other. Because, for your sake at least, you don't want to catch anything from Jun's horny ass trying to bang anyone he can get his hands on.

Rule number two, you cannot act on anything sexual in the bedroom without the other's approval. I.E that time Jun almost broke your ass because he wanted to try anal without telling you which left you sitting on a bag of frozen fries for two days. Yeah, he still sticks with saying that he "could've sworn" he texted you about it and how you said "sure whatever" in response.

Rule number three, you can see other people, but you must tell the other beforehand. Flashback to when a few months ago into your new set boundaries—minus the rules that weren't yet established—Jun had began talking to a girl. Which led to her being suspicious of you two being so close and brought to the conclusion of kicking Jun in the balls and telling him to have fun with his "girlfriend." Even though you were specifically anything but.

Rule number four, no public skin ship, save it for behind the doors. It's bad enough that some of your friends have raised eyebrows at your guys' "relationship," saying that one of you two are bound to fall for the other sooner or later. But you also don't want people to think that you are taken when you both deep down, secretly wish were true.

And lastly, rule number five, if you do begin to fall for the other, say cantaloupe. You weren't sure why Jun settled on cantaloupe but you didn't bother to question his weirdness. For nearly a solid year already, your guys' agreement had gone smooth sailing—for the most part. Aside from only a few arguments and breaks in talking, everything remained steady and fine.

Ding!

[10:17 pm] Junnie: hey babygirl.

It was a Friday night, spent binge watching the rest of your favorite show just like every other day. There were times when Jun had joined you and ended up falling asleep on each other. But you were sure that this wouldn't be one of those days. Jun only called you babygirl when he needed you—hell, he used pet names when he needed you period.

[10:19 pm] You: hii, what's up?

You really didn't need to guess what was up though, you liked to act coy and make him admit to what he really wants.

[10:20 pm] Junnie: mmm i bet u already know baby

[10:20 pm] You: do i??

[10:20 pm] You: are you sure?

[10:20 pm] Junnie: dont act like that baby

[10:21 pm] Junnie: or else.

[10:22 pm] You: but juuuuunnnnnn

[10:22 pm] You: im tiredddd :(((

[10:23 pm] Junnie: thats never been a problem before

[10:23 pm] Junnie: now open the door its cold out here

You rolled your eyes, not surprised that he was already there, basically waiting to ask you to let him in. Sighing, you dropped your phone onto the couch and paused your show—getting up to fulfill Jun's plead. Jun's ears perked up when he heard your footsteps get nearer, the sudden click of the door followed by your face instantly made standing in the cold all worth it.

"Get in here you dork," you said, opening the door and moving out of the way for the tall male to enter.

"Don't have to tell me twice," he replied as he hurried inside, pushing off his jacket and shoes.

You laughed to yourself and made your way back over to your spot on the couch. Unfortunately, you hadn't noticed that your hips had a bit more of a sway to it, making Jun silently and smirk slightly. He watched you like a predator as you sat on the couch. You only wore a sweater and shorts, not bothering to go back to your room to put on joggers to cover your cold legs. But, since you hadn't worn a bra—because why would you need an unbearable underwire sticking into your torso when you could be comfortable—Jun noticed that your nipples slightly protruded from the material. He swallowed and was, thoroughly reminded of the reason why he came here in the first place. When he had taken longer than usual to come over to you, you glanced over at Jun, seeing him standing there and watching you.

"What?" You asked, unknowingly. The conversation you two had merely minutes ago already slipped from your mind, until your eyes traveled a bit far than intended and you were also reminded of why Jun came over. "Are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna do something about it? Hm?" You teased him, a smirk toying at the corners of your lips.

Jun chuckled, his voice dangerously low. "I'm not gonna do something about it," was all he responded with, not moving from his spot even an inch. You tilted your head the slightest, knowing he wouldn't not do anything about his hard-on. "You are." Your eyes widened, making Jun smirk and he beckoned you to come to him. Slowly but surely, you walked to where he stood.

You kept your head down until the sound of Jun's fingers snapping captured your attention. His eyes were dark, darker than usual, as he stared into you and his arm moved. His index finger pointed to the floor, asking you silently to get on the floor. You did as he inaudibly asked and got on your knees, looking up at him. "Good girl." He bent down and grabbed your chin, lifting you a bit so he could kiss you.

The kiss was soft but needy at the same time. His tongue didn't waste any time prying its way into your mouth, grazing over your own. You moaned and Jun groaned in response, his cock twitching in his jeans at your sounds. You moved your legs out from under you and Jun got closer. He lowered you to the floor as you two never stopped making out. As soon as your head was on the floor—safely—he broke the kiss and went for your neck. "Ah. Jun,"

He shushed you as he trailed his hot, open-mouthed kisses all around your neck. His cold hand shocked you as it grazed along your hips, going up your torso, underneath your sweater and grabbing onto your breast. "Missed you so much, princess." Jun's voice was muffled as he sucked fresh hickeys onto your collarbone, his hands groping you.

"I- ah!" As you were about to respond, you felt pressure on your clit, a broken moan slipping past your lips. "I know you missed me, baby. I can feel how wet you are already."

You shifted against his touch, "Please Jun, n-no teasing."

He chuckled, "Whatever you want, baby." You lifted your hips as Jun's fingers slipped past the band of your shorts, dragging them down your legs. You sat up and lifted your sweater off of your torso, the cold air hitting your nipples, making you shiver but also get even more wet at the feeling. "You're so beautiful, Y/N." His warm but still cold hands found their way back to your breasts, toying with your nipples.

Leaning into his touch you whined, "Junnie," you whispered.

"Yes baby?" He leaned down to kiss your neck, your hands finding purchase in his hair.

"Please," you breathed, "just fuck me."

Jun groaned, your words sending sensation right down to his cock. "With pleasure," he roughly tugged down your underwear and hastily got out of his jeans. His cock strained against his underwear, cursing you both for being so needy.

If you weren't so turned on, you would've spent the entire night sucking his dick. "Wait," you stopped him as he continued to strip. "Can we move to the couch?"

He laughed and helped you up off the floor. You ran to your requested area as he searched his jean pockets and joined you. "Better, baby?"

"Much."

He leaned down to give you a quick kiss and tore his underwear off. Jun pumped his cock a few times, making your heat clench around nothing. He opened a condom he brought with and rolled it onto his length. "Ready?" Jun asked, his hand settling beside your head on the couch, positioning himself.

You silently nodded and he pushed his cock into your pussy. With a whine, you scratched his back, his girth stretching you in the slightest, but most pleasurable, way. "Fuck, Y/N," he looked down at you, admiring the way you already looked completely wrecked and you two hadn't even started. "God you're so fucking perfect," Jun said as he pulled out almost all the way and slammed back into you, knocking the breath out of your chest.

"J-Jun!" He fucked into you, making your tits bounce with every thrust.

"You feel so good, baby." Jun moaned rather loudly, he threw his head back and relished in the way your walls hugged him. Jun's cock slid in and out of you, hitting all the spots that made you whimper and cry out his name.

You desperately searched for his hand, your eyes squeezed shut from ecstasy. He got the hint and grabbed your hand, your fingers intertwining together. "A-ah, Jun, f-fuck." You squealed, and gripped his hand tightly.

"Hold on baby," he said suddenly. You opened your eyes as he slowed his pace down. Jun grabbed your legs and put them over his shoulders and held your thighs. He pulled out all the way this time, your juices exiting your pussy and dripping down onto the couch. "You're dripping for me, Y/N.." he said dreamily as he observed the way your heat began to clench again.

"P-Please, please! Jun, put it back in. I'm begging you." Your nails scraped his thigh, trying to grab it. You felt empty and he hadn’t even been out of you for a minute. You needed him badly.

Jun slapped his cock against you, making you jolt from the action. "So so desperate for me, aren't you?"

You began to get more impatient, "Wen Junhui, if you don't fuck me right now I swear to god I'll-" before you could finish, he granted your wish and rammed into you to the hilt, making you scream out his name. He didn't give you anytime to adjust and only began to fuck you harder, hitting you at a new angle as he held your thighs. You moaned with every movement he made, making you feel pathetic.

"Y/N, I've been so hard for s-so long. I couldn't stop thinking about you and fucking your pussy. Oh my god, f-fucking shit." You felt amazing around him. To Jun, it felt as if he hadn't had sex with you in forever.

"Y-Yes, yes please Jun. Please, h-harder." You breathed, feeling your orgasm building slowly. You glanced down at Jun's cock, shifting in and out of you, the sounds of it making your face flush.

Jun abruptly leaned forward, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. You moved your legs off of his shoulders and wrapped them behind him, wanting to feel him deeper in you. The soft, romantic kiss contrasted against his rough, harsh movements in you, making you get even more turned on. He kissed you gently, his lips like plush pillows against your own. You both breathed heavily through your noses, also cutting in between the kiss to catch your breaths. His tongue mangled with yours, fighting a war he knew he would win. The kiss, his cock moving at such an unbelievable pace made it too much for you, your orgasm building quicker and quicker with each second. "Jun, I'm gonna cum soon." You said against his lips and he whined.

"Me too, baby. Cum with me?" He didn't need a response, with the way you were looking—like a perfect ruined masterpiece—the sounds you made and the way you enveloped his length like you were made for him, he felt his own orgasm approaching as fast as yours. He sat up, never slowing down his movements as his thumb suddenly came into contact with your bundle of nerves.

You screamed, your clit pulsating with pleasure, developing a quick heartbeat. Your vision began to get fuzzy and your hearing getting muffled. The coil in your stomach was getting ready to go off, you knew you wouldn't last much longer. "J-Junnie, I-I'm gonna cum." You managed to tell him.

"Let it go, princess. Cum all over me." His words pushed you over the edge and with a hard clench around his cock, you came. Your walls clamped onto Jun and that was enough for him to cum as well. You both came with a loud moan of each other's names that you half expected to get calls of complaint from. Jun's cum spurted into the condom, his mouth forming a wide 'O,' and sighed contently. You both stayed in your positions, your heavy breathing the only thing audible in the humid room.

After a few short moments, Jun slowly pulled out of you, making you both hiss with sensitivity. He stood up and disappeared somewhere, discarding his soiled condom. He returned with a warm wash rag to clean you up and also all your clothes. "I wasn't too hard on you was I?" You giggled lightly, his hard side long gone with the condom he used.

You shook your head lightly as he wiped your juices off of you and tried his best to soak it up from the couch as well. You both were still naked but he stared into your eyes, making you feel weird. "What?" you questioned self consciously.

Jun didn't say anything, his eyebrows furrowed and he looked sad. "Fuck." He whispered under his breath, hoping you hadn't heard it.

But you did.

"What happened?" You sat up and got on your knees as he handed you your sweater.

He lifted himself off the couch and stepped into his underwear quickly. "Uhm, nothing!" Jun said, throwing his clothes on and beginning to get ready to leave.

"Wh-" you grabbed your own underwear and slipped them on, your eyes locked onto the figure briskly walking to the door. You decided screw the shorts and ran after him, grabbing his wrist. "Jun? What happened? Are you okay? Was.." you trailed off, nervous to ask your next question. "Was it not good?"

Jun faced away from you, eyes locked on the door. You let go of his wrist slowly, your heart hurting for a bit. He never just left after you two had sex, whether it was soft and romantic or rough and hard and lasted forever. Jun and you always stuck by each other, cuddling, eating and sometimes even falling asleep together afterwards. Why was he in such a rush to leave-?

Oh.

Looking down at the floor, you felt tears prick the corners of your eyes. Hesitantly, you asked—afraid of the answer, "Are you, seeing someone?" Jun still didn't budge or say anything.

After a long silence of him arguing with himself, he drew in a deep breath. "Cantaloupe."

Your eyes widened and you looked up at him, recognizing the code word you two settled on, nearly a year ago. "I," you were speechless, you didn't know what to say. Your words were replaced with sand and it made your throat dry.

"I didn't mean to fall for you, Y/N. I didn't think I would but, how could I not?"

"Jun," you began to say before he cut you off.

"No. Let me, let me finish." You nodded in response, even though he still wasn’t facing you.

As if he read your mind, he slowly turned around. "I didn't think I would fall for you Y/N but, god how couldn't I? You're so beautiful and you've put up with me and my bullshit for so long. You even agreed to just being friends with benefits and although I've enjoyed that, very much. I feel like it's not enough for me." Jun felt as if he were going to cry. All the pent up emotions and feelings he's had brewing for you for the last few months were about to spill over. "I love you, Y/N. I-I really do. I look forward to waking up and seeing your texts, I look forward to coming over and seeing your pretty face, but it hurts my heart whenever I see you with anyone else."

A tear slipped its way from the brim of his eye and rolled down his cheek. "I remember when you started dating that Joshua guy and he just totally broke you in a way that I wouldn't wish on my sworn enemy. The way you cried in my arms, Y/N, stabbed my heart and didn't leave my mind for days. It killed me seeing you like that, so broken and hopeless."

You sniffled, your vision becoming a murmur of colors and Jun's figure in front of your main entrance. "Y/N," he shifted closer to you and grabbed your hands. "I am so crazy about you. And I love being your friend but, I want to be more. I've wanted to be more for so long I just, didn't know how to tell you. I want to be here with you and not at home, wondering if you'll change your mind one day and leave me. Or laying in my bed, worrying if you're debating whether or not to stay with me. I want to be yours, Y/N. And I want you to be mine. Please, I love you so much. Without the sex, you're still my best friend and my god, I'm certain that I'm in love with you." You swallowed dryly, your heart stinging in a good way. "What do you say, Y/N? Will you be my girlfriend?"

Smiling, you pulled his hands closer to you and wrapped your arms around his torso. Jun cooed inwardly, his own arms wrapping around your frame. "Yes Jun, of course I will." He smiled like an idiot, squeezing you ever so lightly.

“Thank god because if you said no, this would’ve been awkward for a long time.”

[purplehoodiesimon]

Hnnn okay brain is dead so this isn't as long or comprehensive as I wanted but here we go

Okay so canon shows that Simon and Wilhelm are a really touchy couple we're talking about Wilmon and physical affection!!!

Top 3 canon moments

My absolute favorite physical affection moment is the hand holding moment during the locker room scene. The way Simon holds his hands out, the way Wilhelm grabs them, the just like, connection between them and the meaning behind it all is just so beautiful. They're in this really shitty situation and they're reaching out for each other and it's just such a soft moment. Also when Simon moves to sit next to him and Wille puts his head on Simon's shoulder and it's just, yes. Love it. 10/10.

The movie scene!!!! The hands!!!! The touching of the fingers!!! I sound like fucking Jane Austin but I don't care!!!! The awkward glances, the very slow movements, the little smiles when they realize the other person is okay with it, like ahjddwjdbfoekej. They managed to capture the teenage experience of holding hands for the first time with your crush absolutely perfectly and I am so here for it. Also the lighting is absolutely beautiful in this scene and it makes me want to cry. Wilhelm pulling away when Sara glances (not with judgement! just observation!) cause he's so scared of people knowing. It's so good.

The ep4 scene in Wille's bedroomThe football field scene is actually a really important (?idk if that's a good word but my brain is blanking after 3 hours of ASL) moment for showing wilmon and physical affection. Simon is pissed at Wilhelm. Wilhelm is high out of his mind. There's a parallel between Wilhelm grabbing his face and Micke grabbing his face. Simon is literally holding Wille up. Wilhelm jumps on Simon's back like a monkey. There's just so much touching in this scene and it's so important because it's not affectionate touching but there's still love behind every action. Wilhelm is touching Simon's face because he's high as fuck and thinks Simon is beautiful. Simon's holding him up because 1 it's polite when someone can't walk to help them and 2 as pissed as he is he can't just let Wille fumble on his own. Wilhelm jumps on Simon's back because, well, yea I think that one's just cause he's high and saw the bike and was like "Ah yes, I will hold onto Simon's back, this makes sense". Point is, it's a really important scene and I love it.

Top 3 headcanons

Y'all ever seen the post about the lady who wasn't sure why her husband was so bad at saying I love you and then she learned about this like, 3 hand squeezes thing to symbolize it so they started doing it and suddenly he was "saying" I love you like all the freaking time??? Yea that. Wille would absolutely do that with Simon. All. The. Freaking. Time. It's adorable though, so Simon doesn't mind only having one free hand 80% of the time (though he does insist that if Wille's going to do it class, he has to sit on Simon's left side).

Hands over the heart. When they're cuddling, Wille will sometimes just, reach out and put a hand over Simon's heart. He likes being able to feel Simon's heartbeat, it helps ground him when he starts thinking too much about Erik, and it's also a slightly possessive 'I can't believe Simon's heart belongs to me' kinda gesture. Sometimes Simon will return it, putting his hand over Wille's heart, and that's usually when the cuddling starts turning to kissing.

You cannot tell me Simon would not jump at the opportunity to braid Wille's hair every chance he gets. It's something he does for Sara when she's having sensory overload so he's very good at it and it's become pretty comforting for him too. He loves to just sit there braiding and rebraiding sections of Wille's hair, especially when it gets longer and he can do more intricate designs. Wille also loves the feeling of Simon's fingers in his hair.

(this is tonight's HC post and I'm posting it early cause I'm tiredddd)

Someone remind me to write a post about wilmon and non verbal affection in 3 hours after my class cause I just had an idea but I am not going to remember it after today's test without prompting

[mrsjaycaycapz]

Idc if you're my friend or boyfriend or nothin. I have the same expectations no matter what title you have. If you can't treat me well as a friend..? Wyd? I'm tireddd of shitty ass friends who put me in shittty ass positions and that make me feel bad bc I call them out on it. I realized that I have every right to say something and if you mad about it, that's a reflection on you. Instead of really listening to what I have to say, you make excuses and put it on me why it happened. Instead of realizing your mistake and apologizing you put the blame else where. Come around again and ask why I don't talk to you no more? Cus you can't even respect my time. I go hard for my friends. I go hard for the ppl I care about and I'm tiredddd of being disrespected. Do I have high standards? Honestly not really lmao. But I DO have a set of values I expect to be held to some sort of standard.