#I have more thoughts but I can't really add them right now both for coherence and space on this post

[who1ssheesh]

NSFW Xanxus with s/o? 👀

Xanxus NSFW Headcanons

Warnings: seks and swearing; fem!reader; huge OOC; 100% wrong grammar, english still is not my native (it will be one day is this how it works idk); no beta we die like tyl tsuna

Note: tbh, this is really short since I'm still holding back my filthiest thoughts?? The add-on section with sub Xus can be NOT considered serious but those make me raaaaaaaaaawrrr aooga

• Fucking horndog end of the story leave lieks uwu

• No really, he riles up in a second and in the most inconvenient situations. And if you don’t give him what he wants, Xanxus will be very broody for the whole day. Good luck, you will need one ngl

• Xanxus obviously likes (LOOVES) seeing you in revealing tight clothes, this bitch will drop stuff on purpose just to see your bottom if you're wearing a short skirt that day. He will not hide it, man will just be sitting with the nastiest smile, and you know you have to get that thing up since he won’t

• More of a thighs and ass type tbh. Any breast is good if he can see a nice cleavage.

• I really imagine Xanxus as a big juicy man despite Amano’a art style. His thighs worth dying between, his tiddies look heavy I can hold them bb. And I think he also enjoyed someone not really slim? He loves something to GRAB

• Not even in a sexual way. He will always grab your ass even around people and he can't even give you a coherent answer why. He just stares zero brain head empty - he can't admit out loud he loves your body, what a loser

• HUGE size kink. The nastiest, craziest size kink, he is going to be feral with a small s/o like he really means to snap them in half

• Also has a big dick, so……..can’t complain

• Choke him. Never in your life you can even choke him a little bit, but Xanxus appreciates the effort. Your both fragile feminine hands cannot do anything against him and even grab his neck fully, and that feeling of power over you gets him going.

• Then you feel his hot touch around your throat. He is going to show you how it is done

• Enjoys the fight. Someone too obedient is not his type at all, he gets bored quickly, he loves his girlie to has temperament. Scratch him, grab him, bite him and never hold back. Xanxus enjoys smell of blood, seeing your marks all over him after

• Touch. His. Scars. I’m sorry for involving feelings, but he will like it

• You can never dumbfound him with love-bombing btw. Unlike SOMEONE ahemsqualoahem

“I-i love you”

“Yeah, who doesn’t”

But he still thinks that’s lame and kills the mood

• Yes to power play but GOD FUCK NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET THE FUCK OUT YOU FREAK to Daddy kink. He has too much going on with parents and has big issues, especially with fathers. But props to being the first person Xanxus calls a freak

• Get on your knees for him and he’s so WEAK

• Speaking of weak. Xanxus thinks too much with his dick, and you won’t have much problem convincing him about something through a good blowjob (or sex in general). He knows your trick but doesn’t mind, since he’s had a good time, nay? Though sometimes he’ll fuck around and just go away “well, bye now”

• Corruption kink and no one will convince me otherwise. Having a confident skilled woman is good. But how about the most stoic, morally right woman turned into the filthiest nastiest whore just for him? Bonus point if she's a virgin, something clicking in his head. Xanxus enjoys the fact he's one and only or at least, if you break up, he's still your first and no other man will satisfy you she same way (those are his words, not mine)

• Such a dirty talker. But usually Xanxus tries to get an answer from you and just laughs and your fucked-out pathetic state. He won't stop until your eyes are glossy and absolutely empty, his dick is the only thing on your mind.

• Xanxus is shameless but still gets really angry when you two get caught. HOT TAKE. It's not about him btw, he doesn't give a shit about being seen with some one-night-stand but YOU as his partner are different. He wants people hear you and know how good he's making you feel, he wants then to see how hot, awesome, smart, pretty, confident you are BUT! Xanxus is the only one who sees you in the nastiest, most vulnerable state.

• Hot take again - he's not against eating you out. First - being between juicy thick thighs worth dying for, second - he again turns it into a dominating moment, where HE decides if you're having an orgasm.

Secret-secret headcanons I myself BELIEVE

• Sit on his face. Xanxus will act like a bitch but in the end you will notice he likes it WAY too much and even has some shade of pink on his cheeks

• Just try to dominate him in general. Use the same dirty words he uses for you, don't be scared to insult him. You both are too fucked up and horny at this moment anyways, Xanxus' brain won't even comprehend what you are telling him and that actually he's supposed to get angry

• Xanxus didn't know this is his kink - a beast being tamed, huh?

• After the first time this idiot didn't even talk to you, trying to process what the hell happened. But seeing you the same as always, still treating him as a big smart boss, and that's what everyone believes, makes him hard instantly.

• Xanxus doesn't like sex toys at all (he can make you see stars without any help) but JUST MAYBE that's the first time you get whips? Question mark?

• Nah, he won't just become suddenly submissive, that's not the point. He will insult you, bite you, scratch, choke you, fight against you. If you can't handle him, you don't deserve him in this state, okay?

[ababybiter]

living with bangtan part 4 (18+)

okay its time to get saucy!!! contains smut, fluff, slowburn, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, bts are obsessed with you <3

-

You don't say anything at first. You figure you should make him squirm a little. It was his fault.

"So you're going to ignore me?" Yoongi cocks his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Are you really sulking right now?"

"You humiliated me!" You whirl on him.

He takes a sharp intake of breath, not expecting this reaction. "I think you'll find that was Namjoon." He starts in a small voice.

"The drink was just the final straw." You let your arms fall at your sides. "You told us off like we were children. Jungkook might be used to that but I'm not. I'm not your liability to watch, Yoongi."

"I think you'll also find the liability was Namjoon." He scratches his head. "Do you really think kissing Jungkook was the right choice?"

You scoff, almost laughing incredulously at his tone of voice. "Who do you think you are to tell me about my choices? You bring a different girl home every other night." You hear how high pitched and wavering your voice sounds and curse inwardly.

"Pfft." He pulls his eyes away from you for a few seconds before latching them back on to you. "Okay. You're right. I was out of line."

You realise you've been holding your breath, you exhale and the two of you stare at each other.

You think back to 10 minutes ago. Was what you were doing really that bad? Having fun? With a super hot guy? So what if he also happened to be your room mate...Okay maybe it was a questionable decision, but it was just a kiss. Why did Yoongi have to lose his shit in front of everyone? You wished you kept more of a cool before, god why couldn't you be granted the power of redoing arguments.

But even though it showed more of Yoongi's character, and a problem he clearly had with the situation, it was Jin's glare that caused the panic attack to take surface, propelling you away from the neon lights and out into the strangely warm night.

"I think maybe we were both acting crazy." You breathe. "Either way, I need to get out of here."

The BMW pulls up beside you and you wave at the driver. You step off the curb, your heel getting caught in a drain. You yelp, twisting on the spot, mentally preparing yourself to add an injury to your list of problems, but Yoongi catches you in his arms.

"If you think I'm letting you get in this car alone, you're even crazier."

"It's an uber." You wave the white screen at him. "I ordered it, dummy."

"I know." He tells you as if that explains things. It's then you both realise he's still holding you. He lets go, and steps towards the car. "I don't like the idea of you getting in this guys car, in the state you're in."

"What do you mean the state I'm in, you dick?" You push past him, opening the car door. "Hi, yeah it's Y/N!" You tell the driver, coherently.

Yoongi slides in beside you and shuts the door, remind the driver of the address with a smile.

"What are you doing?" You gasp.

"Going home." He looks straight ahead. "This night was done. For me, anyway."

The ride back to the apartment is uncomfortably silent. The driver even notices the tension, and switches on the radio, playing a talk show at a medium volume. You wish he would turn the volume all the way, so you couldn't hear yourself think.

You let the two of you into the apartment, and you storm straight to your room. It's then you realise that your room key currently resides in Jimin's pocket.

"Fuuuuck." You hang your head. "I'm so done with today!"

"You locked yourself out?" Yoongi raises a brow.

"I gave my key to Jimin to hold while I ran back in for my phone." You rub your temples at the idiocy.

"Can't multitask, noted." Yoongi nods.

"If you're trying to piss me off even more, keep going." You snap. "Ugh, I have to sit in the kitchen all night and wait for them to come home in a soaking wet dress."

Yoongi hesitates on a thought, you watch him decide whether to voice it or not. "You can borrow something of mine."

You glance at him and he meets your eyes. "It's the least I can do, I guess. For cock blocking you."

You sigh. "It was JUST A KISS."

"Yeah, that's how it starts." He shakes his head and rolls his eyes as he unlocks his room.

His room is the complete opposite of how you imagined it would be. In your head you saw grey sheets, one pillow on the bed, various female lingerie hanging from every corner. Instead it was clean, white fluffy pillows, and if there were any evidence of his sexcapades, they were hidden away. It actually had a nice aesthetic.

"Wow." You breathed in. "Smells good too."

"What?" He doesn't turn around, instead he opens a draw and pulls out a t-shirt of his.

"I was just...surprised at your room is all."

"Sure." He chucks the t-shirt at you. "Get out of that dress."

"So that's how you do it?" You tilt your head. "Pretty aggressive start."

He stares at you, willing a comeback to make its way off his tongue. Instead his eyes soften. "You know, for someone that hates being judged. You do an awful lot of judging."

Your smirk dies on your lips. "I-you're right." You hug the t-shirt against you. "You have every right to do what you want with your...many evenings. Just like I do, mine."

"Glad we sorted that out." He coughs. "It's not that many evenings though."

"Sure." You grin. "Um, I'll just..."

You slip inside the en suite that you all have, Yoongi's isn't as tidy as his bedroom. It seemed he got ready in here in a hurry. Skincare and shaving stuff spilled across the sink. A bottle of hair wax that he clearly abandoned the idea of, sitting on the plughole.

Whilst Yoongi makes himself comfortable on the bed, (well as much as he can whilst knowing you're currently undressing a few steps away from him) you place the t-shirt down on the laundry basket and begin to slide the tiny straps off your shoulders, the smell of some fruity concoction bleeding from your skin.

"Ugh." You managed to get the dress down underneath your bra, when it seems to move no more. Damp and stuck to your body like superglue. You whine and tug with all your might, but it doesn't budge.

You need help.

"Yoongi...?"

"Yes?"

"I'm..I can't get the stupid thing off." You huff.

"What thing?" He calls back softly.

"The dress. It's too wet." You don't know why you're still hiding in the bathroom. If you wanted his help you might as well go to him.

You step out in front of his bed, a hand over your chest. His mouth hangs open, a quirk on the corners of his lips. "And you want me to...?"

"Peel the fucking thing off me." You groan. "Rip it off at this point I don't care."

He laughs, swinging his legs around to hang off the bed. He pulls you to stand in between his legs. "You need to relax, girl." He coos, feeling around the top of the dress for a zip. When he doesn't find one, he starts gently twisting you out of it. "I won't rip it. It's too pretty to destroy."

You stare at him as he focuses on his task. His brows are crossed in concentration, but his cheeks are pink. He gets the dress to your hips and stops. "Can I be rough?"

"What?" You blush.

"I just...need some extra force to get it off your..."

The words die in his mouth just like you do in that moment. Your ass. A panicked expression comes over him and he looks up at you. "I mean it's a compliment."

"Oh my god." You laugh, moving your hands off your chest to cover your face.

Yoongi swallows, your boobs sitting so nicely in your bra, right in front of his face. The black lacey thing fit you perfectly, he couldn't help but notice. Your tits looked like they would pop out if he did add the force he was suggesting.

It's then that you check on why he's so still, and catch him in the act. "Yoongi!"

"Wh-what! Why?" He pushes you away slightly. "It's not my fault you bought this two sizes too small."

"It's NOT small, it's wet!" You exclaim, blushing. "You think I like standing here in your room, half naked?"

"Most people don't seem to have a problem." He shrugs.

"See now who's making comments." You fold your arms, his eyes drop down for another second at the way your boobs look pushed together.

"You know what I think?" He licks his lips. "Sounds like you kinda wish you were one of them."

"Please." You scoff, but he hesitantly pulls you in by the material of your dress and you don't stop him.

"I don't think you would even be standing here at all if you didn't want me to look at you. See you." He breathes hot air on your belly. "I see you in every way, and you know I like what I see, Y/N."

When he says your name his voice takes on an edge you haven't heard since his early flirtatious days when you first moved in. His lips graze your belly button and a warm sensation fills your underwear. As he's a vampire and can smell it, his dark eyes flit to yours, a new confidence appearing in the black circles.

"This is the better choice, and we both know it."

You gasp inwardly as you realise what you're about to do. In the same second, you cup his jaw with both hands and bring your lips down to his. He catches them, ready. Your lips part instantly, letting in that catty tongue of his. Moaning into your mouth, Yoongi furrows his eyebrows and his hands slide up and down your back.

You take the lead, pushing back onto the bed, you straddle him, the ultra mini skirt that was your dress riding up over your ass. You start grinding against his jeans, the friction burning a hole in your thong. He makes a noise then, disconnecting your lips and finding your eyes.

"It's still your choice, Y/N."

"What are you saying?" You pant, annoyed slightly that he stopped your ministrations.

"I'm saying you can still call this off." He catches his breath, planting a wet kiss to your collarbone. "But if you say you want this, I don't know if I can-"

"I want this." You press down harder on him, earning a whimper from his throat. "Get this dress off."

You know how they say, mothers will get super human strength and be able to lift a car if their child was trapped underneath? The struggle between Yoongi and the dress was a bit like that. Hearing your breathy voice practically beg him to have you was all the power he needed.

In seconds you find yourself off his lap and on all fours beside him, he clambers off the bed and tugs the dress down and over your ass cheeks. You gasp and moan as you're exposed to the cool air in the room.

"Mhm." He sounds, sliding a finger underneath your thong, dragging his digit down over your slit. "Just as I thought."

As if sensing your pending question, he leans over you, his mouth on your earlobe. "More than just our good girl."

"Yoongi, please." You shiver.

He collects the wetness on his finger and darts his tongue out to taste you. "Yeah, no more waiting."

He flips you onto your back and you kick the dress off your legs, leaving you in your underwear. He hovers over you, kissing you again. "Is this what you wanted?"

"Almost." You reach your hands under t-shirt, lifting the material over his head. You then reach your hand down and cup him over his jeans. "Your turn."

He helps you help him out of his clothes, and then his lips are on yours again, while he shuffles the two of you along the bed until your head is on the pillows. You run your hands through his hair as he kisses down your chest. You need his mouth on you, everywhere. You reach behind you and unclip your bra, letting your tits spill out in front of him. He groans at the sight, his mouth instantly attaching to your nipple.

"Fuck." You moan as his tongue swirls around your nipple. HIs other hand reaching down to stroke you through your thong. "Oh, Yoongi."

He kisses your nipple goodbye and lifts his head up again, his fingers still working painfully slow on your sex. "You're so beautiful, Y/N."

"I know." You bite your lip, mimicking your interaction from the last party. Who knew back then, that this is where you'd end up a couple weeks later.

He captures your lips in a sweet, slow kiss. So tender that it surprises you and has your other lips leaking. He parts himself from you again. "I'm gonna help you relax now, okay?"

"Okay."

And he does. He eats you out like a man starved. Like he's wanted this and nothing but this since you moved in. A part of him he didn't think could feel satisfied just from eating pussy. You sounds, your scent, your expressions, your body, your words, your red hot angry eyes that you show only to him, and the look of pleasant surprise you show only to him too.

"Yoongi you're gonna make me-"

"Uhuh." He pants, his tongue coming up for air before pressing down on your clit.

"Oh god, yes, right there. Don't stop."

You sing. Yoongi doesn't think he's ever heard a piece of music quite so beautiful.

-

He lays next to you for quite some time while you come down from the cloud he placed you on with his mouth. After a few minutes you reach for him, trying to touch him in anyway you can, but he takes your hands and folds them against you.

"No..." You whisper.

"Not tonight, love." He presses a kiss to your shoulder. "I don't think I can last long after that. Besides I need you to be awake and really ready for me."

"I am." You yawn, already accepting defeat.

He chuckles into your hair and then stops. "You still smell like overpriced cocktails."

"Ugh." You try not to think about reality, but the memory of the night comes barging in.

Dancing. Jungkook. The argument. The drink. The key. Yoongi's mouth on your-

The boys, who could be home any minute.

"I should go wait in the kitchen." You sit up quickly, scooching to the end of the bed.

Yoongi is surprised by your quick movements. "Hey, relax. You need to sleep."

"Yeah, in my own bed." You glance at him and then soften. "Sorry. I'm just not ready to deal with more looks."

"Ookay." He collapses back into the pillows. "You know the way out."

"Always the gentlemen." You roll your eyes. "I'm glad I got the full Yoongi experience." You stomp to the bathroom and shove the t-shirt on. You walk back over to the bed.

"I need some bottoms."

"Oh." He gets up then, and reaches into a different draw. "Here, where my boxers."

"Yoongi, I'm trying NOT to get more suspicious stares tonight."

"Fine." He picks up some basketball shorts off the floor. "Satisfied?"

You snatch the shorts and stuff your legs into them, they're a bit baggy but you roll them over to keep them from falling down. "Thanks. For everything."

"You don't need to thank me for anything." He stares at you in the small light of the bedside lamp.

You smile quickly and dart out of the room, your non horny braincells finally returning as you pad down the hallway to the kitchen to wait for Jimin to return with your key. This was even worse than kissing Namjoon or Jungkook. Yoongi kissed you. Everywhere. Yoongi.

The one that teased you, the one that had a constant rotation of girls leaving his room every week. God, you hoped he was clean. At least you didn't have full on sex. Just as importantly, at least he seemed to act casual about it, as if the two of you didn't just break the one unspoken rule of the apartment. You wonder how long he'll keep his dirty mouth shut about this.

It isn't long before you hear an abundance of footsteps shuffling out of the elevator and entering the apartment. It can only be the boys back from the club, no one else would be moving around that loudly at this time of night.

"Hey! How was the rest of your night?" You try to put on a bright facade as you hug your knees to your chest in the dining chair.

You're met with mostly concerned faces. "We couldn't really enjoy ourselves after you left." Hobi tells you. "We were too worried about the two of you."

"Really?" You search all of their faces. Tae comes and pulls your head to his body, stroking your hair. Jin is at the cupboard, pulling a couple of instant ramen packets out.

"Yes, really." He looks over his shoulder at you with a soft expression. You give him a small smile back.

"Where's Yoongi?" Hobi asks, as Jungkook plants a wobbly Namjoon onto the sofa.

"Uh, in his room, I think."

Jungkook looks over at you, tonguing his cheek. "He just left you out here?"

"No, I mean, he stayed out with me for a bit, but he looked pretty tired so I sent him to bed."

"You're too good." Jimin approaches. "Why aren't you in bed?" He looks you over. "And what are you wearing?"

"You have my key." You smirk, distracting everyone from your outfit. "Um, and Yoongi gave me some stuff to change into, seen as my dress was soaked."

"I'm soghhy." Namjoon calls groggily from the cough.

"It's okay, Joon!" You call over to him, chuckling.

Everything would be okay. Sure, things were complicated now, you practically were checking off your room mates on a kiss list but you were safe and dry. There were worst things to be dealing with. This would blow over just like your kiss with Joon and hopefully now Jungkook. You were all mature adults! Plus, you had to give it to Yoongi after all, he knew how to relax you.

"Well you sure perked up." Jin tilts his head. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." You lower your nose into the collar of the t-shirt, breathing in Yoongi's smell. "I'm super."

---

END OF PART 4

oof well there it is...hope you enjoyed ;) stay tuned for part 5 <3

[enigma-the-mysterious]

Hi! New here. And I have some stuff to ask from you if that's ok (you seemed the most qualified)

If I'm not wrong, you are a Hindu but a Dalit. What are your thoughts on revision of scriptures? Is it of any help? If not what can be done by us (I'm a Hindu and a Brahmin) to make Hinduism less hostile to Dalits? Cos trust me I have read the scripts and um they are problematic when it comes to this and I find that I can't lie to myself anymore without hindering my journey in faith.

I would love your inputs and am always open to discuss stuff.

All my love 💕

Eh, I wouldn't exactly call myself the "most qualified", I am sure there are other people who have studied these things more extensively and are in a better position to answer these. I am just some gal.

What I can do, is talk about my personal experiences. Like you said, I am a Hindu. I am a Dalit. My relationship with my religion is complex. My faith gave me hope and light when I was at the lowest in my life and it still does. My faith and my beliefs have never really been contingent on any scriptures. Truth be told, I have hardly read any of them. I know they are problematic and the so-called "rules" or "dharma" everyone must abide by are definitely a relic from a bygone era. It doesn't matter to me what the scriptures say, it has never mattered to me. My relationship to my God is highly personal and no text in the world, no so-called "dharma-adhikari" can dictate it.

Does that mean it has always been roses and peaches in my relationship to my religion? Nope. The Uttar Ramayan, for instance, makes me highly uncomfortable as both a woman and a Dalit. I know there are debates about it not being a part of the original Ramayan but well.... It makes me so uncomfortable that, I personally cannot respect Ram as a God anymore. A flawed ruler? Maybe? A God? Nope

So, like I said, I personally don't care much about the scriptures. 'Cause at the end of the day, they are just that- texts on papers.

As to whether I think if revision of texts will help with the currently prevailing discrimination against Dalits, the short answer is no. Long answer? I have spoken about it in more detail (and with a lot more anger and frustration, I guess) here. Advocate for their basic human rights instead. Talk about how practising religious "customs" shouldn't mean that you get to insult someone's basic dignity. Work for changing the present and the future, right now, instead of trying to change the past.

Anyway, I don't think that was very coherent. But I hope I was able to answer some of your questions at least. Thank you for dropping by my askbox <3

EDIT TO ADD: Also, as to make Hinduism less hostile for Dalits, just let them exist in peace? Many Dalits are Hindu, many aren't (you can guess why). When Hindu Dalits want to enter temples and pray to their Gods, just let them? Don't act like a Dalit entering a temple is the end of the world. Don't gatekeep their faith. Just allow them to exist in public places (including temples) in peace

[eyesontheskyline]

omg i want to debate a hotchniss scene with you!!! from the season 7 finale

now i know that the whole jj’s wedding thing with hotch and emily talking about her tell etc etc is seen as the ultimate hotchniss flirty scene and i love it but that’s not what kills me in that episode, it’s the dance scene for me. It makes me go absolutely feral and its one of the scenes where im once again questioning who the hell directed that and why- it’s so intimate to me, the closeness, the almost cheek to cheek, him shifting his face towards her and her little smile- like who in their right mind directed that with the thought “aw yeah that’s how friends dance” like sjsnsnsnks. While a dance like that would probably be normal with the rest of the team, the fact that hotch doesnt usually have such a touchy relationship with anyone is what makes me lose my mind, its such an unusual moment for them i feel like WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY ITS DIFFERENT AND IT MEANS MUCH MORE!! Anyway so yeah, idk if im just insane so i was wondering what your take was on that, considering that your fic is based on season 7

I can't think of a single coherent thing to add to this because I agree entirely.

I'm so curious what he said to her in that moment. Like, what TG actually said, but mostly all the billions of options for what Hotch could've said to Emily.

I feel like this is the scene where you can really see what they could've been if he wasn't her boss. Like, it's a little weird with Beth there, but it almost kind of acknowledges that there is something there and they were just never going to go there with her on his team, and now she's leaving the country and it's too late. I don't think they look like they're making any effort at being two platonic coworkers sharing a friendly dance.

The two of them interest me so much in S7 (obviously lol). Like in S4-5 they're together basically all the time, and then in S6 she's with Morgan all the time, and in S7 they're switching it up again but she spends a lot of time with Rossi and Reid. In canon, on screen, they're less close than they have been before, even though they now have this additional thing in common, on top of all the things they already had in common that made them such a great pair before.

There are so many potential justifications for it, both on an in-universe and meta level, but it's just super interesting to me that they have this kind of distance between them, and then when they dance at the end, both knowing on some level it's a goodbye, it's Like That.

[so-bitya]

I got to watch the Phantom & Ghost playthrough (thanks to @pain-in-the-butler d(^-^)), and I've been dreaming of Phantom & Ghost getting a remaster with HD graphics and a expanded story line, so here's how I would've liked it:

coherent routes

I think it would've benefited the story to just stick to one POV for the entire game, and you'll have to complete both Sebastian and Ciel's routes to get the final ending. Similar to other visual games games that have multiple endings depending who and how you play, that give you a true ending after completing the game.

like wow, the game is kinda nonsensical to follow? not only can you switch between the two different POVs while playing, but you can do it after nearly every scene? So all the clues and reveals feel all over the place and referenced in ways that don't make sense.

general appeal

alright lets be honest, the game's main appeal is its characters. getting to play all these scenarios with the servants and Lizzy is what's fun. sadly, the minor characters weren't as interesting to bounce off of, so it would be nice to lean into their eccentricities (when you got a guy named Patrick the Grey wizard).

Add more scenarios, more character combinations, more dialogue options. Can't tell you how disappointed I was that Stella's pov barely showed anything, esp since the moments between Lizzy and Stella were really good. Like, let's play with all these different povs! Stella's route could have flashbacks and much needed backstory to solve the mysteries. Lets see Lorraine, Patrick, and Stella's parents in the past, since so much of the story revolves around them And having all these expanded character options really build the replayability of the game.

tonal dissonance

This game was disorienting to me because how light the story remained. Kuro is a dark story! It has a lot of morbid humor and always something disturbing happening in the background. This game really was just some average errand for Ciel and Sebastian and it falls flat. So I had ideas to bring in out more of those darker tones kuro has, described in the next section.

the villain

I understand why Lorraine was made into the villain as a "surprise twist", but I truly dislike that she was the bad guy after dealing with suggested abuse and getting jealous over a child (without even the backstory to back it up??). There's ways to give misdirection over the villain without resorting to the cheap maid plot twist, that is frankly tired now (also I thought Count Ridley would be the villain? what was he around then for lol).

There's still a mysterious air around Stella's father, right? maybe, instead of villainizing an abused maid for the nth time, we can have a more in depth exploration of the maid's abuse and the father's character. maybe we find out the father was quite a vile person. Stella's route could imply the abuse happening in the background and how disturbing it is.

perhaps after the first half of the game, Lorraine is pined as the murderer, but Stella insists that she's innocent and we have to find the true culprit. the player is mislead here a bit, because Lorraine's attitude does take a turn and she acts very bitter and erratic (which we find out later her signs of abuse).

eventually Lorraine is found innocent and her father is blamed for the murder, and Lorraine gets with Patrick to take care of Stella at the mansion, a perfect happy ending.

However in the true ending, we find out that Lorraine did kill the father, but it was to protect herself and Stella from his abuse. We don't know how the mother died exactly, but let's implied that he was the one to kill her (mad father vibes). Ciel doesn't reveal this, since the case with the ghost and embezzlement is solved, but Lorraine gets away with the murder. Sebastian could suggest that Lorraine only did it for her benefit, because now she's acting as head of the manor, through Stella (or whatever edgelord nonsense he'll say).

The games ends on the note we, the audience, will never know Lorraine's true motives, all while Stella remains naive, still thinking the best of her parents and Lorraine. All we can hope for is that they'll take care of each other now, though who knows what the future holds.

So there's plenty of dark aspects to this story while having a rather positive ending for our main characters! let me know what yall think! any other ideas for an ending or story route?

(anyway here's a drawing of Stella and Lorraine to convince yall: x)

[sourbombz]

yuma kokohead as well

ALRIGHT LETS GO . Stealing the way you categorized them because yah organization Nice

Shinigami: 15/10. Idk if that's high enough. I think it's known that I ship these two queerplatonically a lot, I love them queerplatonically. BUT I love them romantically too!! You in particular don't need it explained why they are so great but yah, love them!! I don't even know where I'd start?? Number One being my Favorite and his and her relationship? Their conversation??? AAAAA!!! Iiii they make me sickkkkk oughh (/pos) No coherent thoughts I am simply shaking them both violently & affectionately

WDO

Pucci: 2/10 I don't know? Not for me? Like maybe if we had more time with them I would have grown really fond of them but for the life of me as a ship I can't bring myself to like them at all, I think they should be friends though

Melami: 3/10 Idkm I don't think about them, no thanks

Aphex: 2/10. Don't think about em, also no thanks

Zilch: 3/10 also don't think about. Uhhhh. Also no thanks

Zange: 0/10 No. He can have the Old Faker Number One so that we can have our Old Man Yaoi though.

Yakou: 0/10 Hard pass, Majorly not my thing. In a non-romantic/sexual dynamic they're EVERYTHING to me though!!

Halara: 6/10 they r cutev

Desuhiko: 4/10 they are fine

Fubuki: 5/10 their ship nameis clockhead and I am not kidding I am so easy to win over that's a banger ship name it earns them at least One Point. Otherwise yeah they can be cute, no real input on them as a romantic dynamic though outside of their ship name and my bias

Vivia 7/10 No but I used to be obsessed with them. And I still find them cute! Their bond means a lot to me, but like yeah I don't ship them as much and I've been taken over by a few other Yuma ships as a preference. also not to randomly bring up rarepair I like but like I think Viva should consider Makoto, please they'd be cute source: trust me. Okay that's all

Yuma Ramenhead (real Kokohead. I Call him Ramenhead. For ease in knwoing who tf I mean): 5/10 I think they're funny but like please add Makoto in and it's just really funny. I simply like it because I like things that make me laugh and that's litrally all. (There's more i could say. I wish we saw them properly interact desperately. But yah.)

Kurumi -5/10 I do Not like them. I hate them I hate how they're shoved at us like why do we need a love intrest character like this again?? I THINK I like em platonically? but also my dislike for Kurumi as a character/my opinion of her actively going down further somehow each time I replay the game & everything about her makes it Hard for me to really. Like. Care. About their bond at All Hhh. I dont like themmmm

Amatarasu

Makoto okay I have to straight up say I don't know. like, my opinion changes each and everytime I think about them. My feelings are far too complicated for me to neatly fit a number here at all, I love their bond, it's deeply important to me, I 1000% see the appeal of shipping them, I don't know how I personally see their dynamic and im not sober enough to activate critical thinking. When I play again eventually maybe I'll form a better opinion

Yomi 9/10 okay look. Look. I. Don't know how to explain Why I love them so much right now really I just feel Oddly Happy each time I see them. BUT I will say *Number One* x Yomi is banger oughhh theyre so fun, I will not defend myself I think I'm right. shoving the pathetic wet guy in there is hilarious too so yeah. Shove Makoto in there and it's Even. More. Fun!!!!! So yah

Martina 4/10 I can see it, I don't really have an opinion i care enough to elaborate on rn though

OK the rest of Amatarasu Is 3 and under OK. That's all I'm doing here

[televinita]

Goodreads Choice Awards but the nominees are just the books I've personally shelved

I have a lot of thoughts about the options as they exist (mostly not that bad, except when it comes to the total elimination of children's literature, about which I am furious), but per usual I can't really articulate them in a coherent way SO I sorted my shelves by publication date, ignored the GCA requirement of a minimum 3.5 average rating, and am doing this instead.

[update: oops this did not turn out coherent either. but it got typed!]

Important Reminder: These are not all books I consider equal contenders for "best." I simply wanted to highlight every possible option I actually knew about and have read or am interested in reading.

YA

After the Sirens - Sharon Farrell

Begin Again - Emma Lord (forgot to add this one before)

The Brothers Hawthorne - Jennifer Lynn Barnes (actual nominee and I'm gonna vote for it even though it seems like it may be more of a filler book. The Davenports is the only other official nom to intrigue me, and its lower average rating + hideous cartoon cover isn't enough to flip me unread so sorry, we're going Basic Popularity Contest Pick)

Cleaning Up - Leanne Lieberman

Five Survive - Holly Jackson (definitely not a winner)

Gather - Kenneth M. Cadow (edit: National Book Award finalist?? like with the adult fiction??)

Good as Gold -- Candace Buford (definite contender for fave so far)

Holly Horror - Michelle Jabès Corpora

The Island - Natasha Preston (lol. lmao even. but ridiculous fun)

The Lake House - Sarah Beth Durst

A Long Stretch of Bad Days - Mindy McGinnis

The Renaissance of Gwen Hathaway - Ashley Schumacher (here on author loyalty only)

Three Rivers - Sarah Stusek (THAT'S RIGHT. HER.)

Summer Rental - Rektok Ross (why am I this aware of brand-new ya horror??) (because I love horror and it's usually better paced and spookier and less shock-gory than the adult brand? fair)

YA FANTASY / SCI FI

Dream to Me - Megan Paasch (I think it would go here, anyway. but maybe it's just regular YA)

The Eternal Ones - Namina Forna (I gotta remember this series exists)

FANTASY

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries -- winner winner pick!! (no like officially)

Starling House - Alix E. Harrow (though this is a close second, and honestly, if they weren't both actual nominees I'd think The Unmaking of June Farrow has some potential intrigue)

ROMANCE

Hazel Fine Sings Along - Katie Wicks (no comment on its Wattpad origin. I didn't notice until just now. have not read it.)

Famous For A Living - Melissa Ferguson (popular enough for Once Upon a Book Club! but not for for an official nom, despite my hopes, in this fiercely competitive category. boooo)

Out On a Limb - Hannah Bonam-Young (damn I actually saw this one making rounds on BookTube, thought it might be here)

Something Wild & Wonderful - Anita Kelly (can't believe there's actually a queer romance I want to see show up and it doesn't)

(Bonus: legit nominees I am considering for validity include Happy Place; Yours Truly - I really need to figure out if Emily Henry and Abby Jimenez are in my wheelhouse or not - and Hello Stranger, though as much as I like Katherine Center this one does not call to me)

FICTION

This Bird Has Flown - Susanna Hoffs (might also have been under romance if picked for the actual GCA? feels more mainstream than that but idk. anyway HATERS 2 THE LEFT.)

^ also my pick for debut

The Lost Manuscript - Mollie Rushmeyer (dunno which category this would officially go in either. probably romance? maybe mystery? but it's got a lot more plot than the average romance)

HISTORICAL FICTION

The Echo of Old Books - Barbara Davis (holy crap this one's actually in the nominations?! Instant vote. Almost disappointing because there are some other candidates I would have felt fine voting for to block the worse ones, but this is the only one on my acute TBR. If I don't give at least 4 stars I will be shocked)

MYSTERY/THRILLER

Forgotten Trail - Claire Kells

The Hike - Lucy Clarke

The Only One Left - Riley Sager

Homecoming - Kate Morton (crisis alert! the latter two are both official nominees and I am equally interested in both/both have equally good track records with me) (probs. gonna vote Kate on the principle of female solidarity. even though this is really stretching the definition of "mystery")

HORROR

A Haunting on the Hill - Elizabeth Hand

(How To Sell a Haunted House is a hard maybe but also the only one I think I'd even consider trying from the official noms)

MEMOIR

Paris: The Memoir - Paris Hilton

The Woman in Me - Britney Spears

Grimoire Girl - Hilarie Burton Morgan

Tell Me Everything - Minka Kelly

If You Would Have Told Me - John Stamos

Goodbye to Clocks Ticking - Joseph Monninger (forgot I just stumbled upon this one recently! it's on my library list but not my GR account)

and one more except GCA put it in a different category hang on

Three of these - not Burton's, alas - are actually nominees. Britney is gonna win but not without a fight from me. Do I go with Paris, whose memoir impressed me even though I still don't care much for her as a person, or Minka, whose memoir I haven't read but whose reviews sound excellent and whom I like more?

HUMOR

Being Henry - Henry Winkler (there is absolutely no reason for this not to be nominated in memoir btw. I hope it wins Humor because nothing else appeals in that category and I have multiple vendettas (SAMANTHA IRBY), but it would be as misplaced a win as the Office Ladies book was last year. fully deserving of an award! actually the best of the given nominees! but also like an adult beating a bunch of children in a footrace.)

MIDDLE GRADE

(no longer a GCA category but it fudgin' should be)

Just Gus - McCall Hoyle

Falling Out of Time - Margaret Peterson Haddix (actually glad I don't have to choose between these two because like. dogs - but also boy MC - or author loyalty ft. sequel to my childhood fave??)

Rosie Frost and the Falcon Queen - Geri Halliwell The Spice Girl (no. 😔) (and yet it is still on my shelf)

I have no strong opinions for any categories I skipped.

[oficeandwind]

kaminari can practically FEEL the anger radiating from the general. even in a weakened state, cyno is not so out of it that he'd forgotten what kami had admitted to. kaminari is recoiling from the intense emotions in the air. not EVERYONE knows the truth, but those that do are staring through him. he wishes he could disappear and never have to plague these people with his presence ever again.

wouldn't THAT be fun. to not have existed at all, to grant these people PEACE.

even though cyno is insisting on walking on his own, kami is gripping him firmly enough to haul him upright, wrapping an arm around cyno's waist. he's intending to just up and fly out of there as quickly as possible, but kami also isn't sure how that would aggravate cyno's injuries further. he'd rather not take the risk. besides, the presence of that sacred space alone would be more than enough of a healing factor for both of them ― kami knows he needs recuperation as well. mostly, for the emotional blow this entire ordeal took on him. it would just require another few minutes of getting there before that can happen.

it's not like he WANTED to tell cyno in this way, and it's not like kami enjoyed having to fight hermanubis. the building is half destroyed, and SOMEONE is going to have to pay a hefty price for this. whatever that price is, he doesn't know. but anxiety is pooling in his gut as he lifts cyno back to the main floor, then drifting through the crowd to exit. it's a WONDER the crowd is even parting. the accusing whispers seem to reverberate through his entire being, sound far louder than they actually are. the hatred that he's projecting onto them is really self loathing all over again. again, the deep shame clouds his thoughts.

"you're not walking," kami finally mutters. seconds too late. they're out of the house of daena, in the main lobby of the akademiya. kami could exit through the main doors in some dramatic exit to finish off this FOOLISH show, but he's veering to the left to exit through the side door. THIS way, they'll have more privacy going up the ramps and to where nahida resides.

"you're injured," he continues. though, now that they're away from people in general, kami wonders how much more of a fight cyno will put up. he's even slightly loosening his grip on the general now, half expecting one to come all over again. at least this time, kami's more prepared to defend himself should cyno attack him. he's silent all the way to the sanctuary, practically dragging cyno with him. the general barely seems to be conscious, so kaminari isn't sure how much he's able to hear. that's not going to stop kami from talking, anyway.

"i have nothing to say right now." kami finally addresses the situation, REFUSING to look cyno in the eye. "you're going to have to put up with me until we reach her sanctuary, and then you can do whatever you'd like. i'm not fighting where there are potential witnesses, not anymore."

he no longer cares what cyno thinks of him. or even what nahida thinks of him. in fact, right now, kami would love nothing more than to just go try all over again. after all, it's still possible to change the past, right? why not add another mistake to that ever growing pile of regrets?

when they enter the sanctuary, he lets go of cyno completely. cyno is starting to seem more COHERENT at this point, so kami no longer feels a need to cling so much to him. though now he's bowing his head and turning away, bracing himself for any sort of contact. his entire posture SCREAMS pathetically weak, though right now he probably deserves to be seen as such.

the night is not over yet, it's not too late to fly off and make good on his wish. and yet, he can't bring himself to do that, either.

A small gathering of people had moved to help Cyno. Some of the older students; even a matra. They were knelt by his side, talking to each other, moving debris out of the way, barraging him with questions to make sure he was responsive.

In return, Cyno kept eerily silent, compounding to that cold and heavy tension that was in the hall. When offered help to stand by his subordinate, he slapped it out of the way. Not violently, but certainly betraying his emotional state.

His mind was still a confused, entangled mass of whispers. He felt a throb in his temples, struggling to even make out how he'd ended down here. How had it even started?

The moment his eyes fell on a pair of black geta sandals stopping just before him. Only half-listening, he looked up... and his eyes shifted in expression almost instantly.

'You.', it looked like they said, but still he said nothing. Behind the emotional impulses that made his blood pressure rise, Cyno's more analytical mind was desperately trying to regain control.

Think twice. Think well, Cyno.

No matter how he felt about Kaminari or even his Archon right now, it'd do no good if he made the situation public. The Akademiya had just barely started to recover from its greatest crisis. The actions of Lesser Lord Kusanali were under constant scrutiny, not only of the previous sages, but even the prospective new ones.

If he unraveled the secret of the Wanderer before everyone now, it'd all collapse back again. It'd be chaos. And chaos is where Evil thrives best.

Like it or not, he had to keep up appearances. At least until he came up with a better answer. He may be battered and betrayed, but Cyno was not an anarchist.

And so, when Kami offered his own hand to help, Cyno took it. Gripped onto it like a mouth full of fangs ready to snap a neck. However that did not last as long as he'd have liked.

Before he could even look for signs of fear or hostility in Kaminari's eyes, his attempt to rise back on his own feet was hindered by yet the strongest vertigo he'd experienced since waking up. Cyno felt his body reach an upright posture only for a moment, before his legs gave in and the edge of his vision grew darker. He slumped against the Wanderer's side, a pained grunted rising from his throat.

Voices, pulsations, ice-cold shivers... What was happening to him?

His use of the Vision, or even of Hermanubis' spirit had never left him in this state before. There had to be something else.

When it rains, it pours. There was a saying like that, right? Never let it be said the General Mahamatra led a boring life.

"... I can walk." He heard himself say, but he would never knew if he truly did walk to wherever it was that they were going. His sight kept fading in and out with his consciousness, and with it his perception of the path they were taking.

By the time his senses came to, it was to the gentle feeling of Dendro energy flowing through the air and him.

Was he in Gandharva Ville? Maybe it'd all been a big, ugly nightmare. Maybe he'd fallen asleep on one of his visits to his found family.

"'nari...?" Cyno called. But when his eyes opened and he started to get a hold of his own bearings, it wasn't the Watcher's familiar and comforting presence he recognized.

It was Nahida.

[radiosandrecordings]

re: kiss noises, gotta say that having a kiss in a podcast can be very hit or miss. creators have to be extremely comfortable and 110% behind it for it to work imo. it's why it works for me, say, in the penumbra podcast, but I would feel super weird about one in TMA. (also genre I think is also a factor but that's a whole other thing.)

Genre is exactly the thing I was going to write a follow up post about actually, I’ve been discussing it along with direction style and tone with my friends and I think the comparisons to Penumbra is specifically where a lot of people are finding issue?

Because TMA and TPP are both audio dramas. But they’re nothing alike! Not in story line, not in direction style, not in sound design, not in tone or genre. It’s like trying to compare Deadpool and Dunkirk because ‘... They’re both movies I guess?’. It doesn’t work because they’re nothing alike, TMA and TPP are just popular audio dramas and it’s such a niche market they get lumped together. 

TPP is very big. It’s a fast paced cheesy noir sci-fi thriller about a detective on mars and it has the directing, writing, tone and soundscaping to match. It makes you laugh, cry and completes an entire story arc in like an hour and a half. It’s also a romance in one of it’s largest capacities and Sophie Kaner has personally talked about the kisses in TPP and why they’re so much. It’s because they wanted to give representation, because TPP is an inherently queer narrative (ONE straight character! ON THE PLANET!) and they wanted to utilise kissing for that. It fits with a soundscape that’s as loud and encompassing as the rest of the show, and also: the kissing is plot relevant, it’s not just thrown in to gross your ears. 

TMA is a very different show! It’s a lot more grounded and serious, I’d say realist if not for the horror. When it uses gross soundscapes, they’re supposed to be gross, like I said in the original post. It’s a lot more subtle in it’s soundscapes, keeping it quiet and definitely telegraphing movement a lot less than Penumbra, because that’s its style. It’s not a show with constant movement like Penumbra where they drive cars and run about cities, the majority of episodes are just. Jon. Reading. 

Something I would actually liken to TMA in terms of tone and direction is The Bright Sessions, something that has been often forgotten by the new wave of audio fans, since in two weeks it’ll have been two years since it ended. It was a show that contained supernatural elements, but was largely grounded in reality. Mischa Stanton did a great job on it’s soundscaping in that was basic in the way that if they were doing their job right, you wouldn’t even remark on it at all. It was Normal. Not big and brash like Penumbra. And it had a kiss scene. And it was gross. Far too long, just mouth sounds of two teens making out in a car (a m/m couple if you’re trying to draw comparisons between Sophie’s representation philosophy), and as far as I can remember, it’s not even particularly plot relevant. It just didn’t work since it was a show that hadn’t really set a precedent for that kind of invasive, loud sound in my opinion. The directing style had been too different so far to allow for a full on make out to flow with it. 

You’ve got to know what show you’re making and go with how it’s flowing. Sounds are the only tool audio dramas have at their disposal, and if something sounds different from your normal tone, people will notice, and it will sound weird.

[amaranthineoceans]

Everything Weird About Deltarune!

Spoiler Warning for Undertale and Both Chapters of Deltarune! Really! I Literally Go Through Everything I Can Remember About Them!

This is a long post so get comfortable. Also note that my brain doesn't process thoughts into words very well so some of these might not be worded in the best way. :)

Deltarune. The first teaser chapter was released on October 31, 2018, and it came out of nowhere. We've all gone through this, but I'll try and go through every single painstaking detail I can remember. Feel free to reblog and add/correct things.

The weirdness begins right off the bat. The title is an anagram of UNDERTALE. We all know Toby likes to use anagrams when he wants to indirectly tell us when things are related, so it's no surprise that when you go to download DELTARUNE, it warns you that the game is designed for people who have played UNDERTALE. You think, "Cool, so it's a sequel? Or maybe a prequel? A different perspective of UNDERTALE perhaps?" You were wrong; so terribly, terribly wrong! I'll elaborate on this later.

Before you download the application, the terms of service that you must agree to beforehand reads simply and plainly, "You accept everything that will happen from now on." This detail was kinda brushed off in the beginning, because, hey, it's Toby Fox. He does weird stuff all the time. But even in the first chapter, it's apparent that the concept of choice, or more accurately, the lack of it, is a very present theme in the game. I would like to remind you that Toby has announced that there will be one ending in the game. One. I'll elaborate on this later.

The program (as in, what the game is called in your files) is named SURVEY PROGRAM. Why not just call it Deltarune like it is when you download chapter two?

The game launches you, without a title screen, without any setting adjustment options, straight into a reference to the theme of the entire franchise: the lack of choice. A strange formless voice guides you through "making a vessel", with what we know now as a fountain in the background. You have the option to make some very disturbing choices in this character creator, such as making its favorite flavor "pain" or expressing your feelings about it with options such as "fear" and "disgust." You name your "creation," tell the formless voice your name (which is different from your vessel's name) and watch as said formless voice muses over your name at an agonizing pace. It thanks you for your time and tells you that your wonderful creation, (cue music cutout and background removal) will now be discarded. "No one can choose who they are in this world." The screen slowly turns white as the voice says, "Your... name... is..."

It gets weirder. The next scene appears from the whiteness and showcases Toriel calling "Kris" out of bed. Kris' area of the room is very bare in contrast to the other side, which we later discover is Asriel's.

It's Toriel. Why is Toriel here?

Kris is kind of an anagram of Frisk (the protagonist of UNDERTALE) but without the F. I highly doubt this is a coincidence.

Speaking with Noelle is the only reason you can proceed (see what i did there?) while finding a partner in the classroom. This means you can't go through the 1st chapter without knowing who she is. Is it because of the Snowgrave route?

Ralsei is just suspicious to me. There's no way he was just waiting in that castle his whole life alone without some mental toil. So either he's insane or he wasn't alone the whole time. What happened? Is it related to how he can close his eyes and see what Susie is going through when she's apart from the party? Was he just watching everything? Is he related to the formless voice?

Susie's icon is the only one without color in the Dark World.

Jevil's fight is more difficult than Sans'.

Your actions have little consequence in the first chapter. If you choose to go genocide, the only difference in the ending is being run out of the kingdom, and this doesn't carry over to the next chapter. Again, lack of choice, people.

If at the end of chapter one, you walk around town, it's mentioned (notably by Noelle) that you're usually not this talkative. If you go to the hospital and speak with the receptionist, they mention that you used to play the piano in the corner. If you decide to attempt to play the said piano, an out-of-key bash can be heard and the receptionist comments on how you used to play beautifully. If you try this in chapter two, the result is the same. All this is confirmation that Kris is acting noticeably weird.

When you leave the Dark World and walk around town, you can find Sans. He "pretends" to recognize you, and if you tell him you recognize him, he tells you it's funny, considering that you two have never met before. He winks. I'm pretty sure he knows that the player is there.

The mention of Papyrus in both games, but the purposeful lack of him. Like he's avoiding you.

If you go upstairs while inside Asgore's flower shop, there are flowers in glass cases resembling his SOUL collection in UNDERTALE. There's a red flower.

You can't enter the church.

The clock in the storage closet shows a different time than all the others in the school.

If you go all the way south in town and into the woods, the music stops and you come across a rusty, double door is in a hill covered in crass. It's locked. If you go this way in chapter two, however, you watch a cutscene where you and susie happen to find Monster Kid from UNDERTALE (or someone resembling them) and an owl kid in front of the door. The owl kid is pressuring Monster Kid to (presumably) break inside, telling them that they don't want to be a wimp like Kris. Does this imply that Kris is connected to this strange door somehow?

The ending. You know what I'm talking about.

Did Kris actually rip out the SOUL (I say "the" because I'm not entirely sure it's Kris') and knife because they wanted to eat the pie? Did they only eat the pie because Toriel caught them?

Why did they look at the player? Are they sick of being controlled? Is that why they freaked out after the Spamton fight? (later)

Anyway, now we're at chapter two.

DELTARUNE Chapter Two was released on September 17th, 2021. 17. Entry Number 17. Sound familiar?

Asriel's part of the room is different from the last chapter. I don't think this means anything sinister, but I think it means Kris notices different things about the room as the story progresses. My theory is that it will become more sinister in each chapter.

Ralsei getting super excited to see Susie and Kris after a day. As in he has separation anxiety and it breaks my heart. not anything suspicious but it makes me sad so it's on the list.

Kris and Susie's rooms. Ralsei REALLY doesn't want them to leave. Seriously get this boy a therapist. Or a stuffed animal. SOMETHING.

Kris having to gather everything from the storage closet so that people appear in the Dark World????? Why??????????????? They had to do the same thing for the computer lab too.

The golden door. I don't trust it.

How/why the heck did Noelle and Berdley go into the Computer Lab Dark World? I don't see either of them just walking into pulsing void doors without Susie.

Apparently the knight has been gone for a bit and can corrupt people's minds? The king in the first chapter doesn't seem like he can be redeemed but Queen just seems,,, not bad, but a little crazy. I wonder what happened.

Then again, name ONE person in this franchise without trauma.

Spamton.

Horror doesn't bother me. Spamton? Spamton bothers me.

SPAMTON. ENOUGH SAID.

A Kromer is a type of hat invented in the '70s. Nobody named Mike is associated with it, that I can find.

SPAMPTON. HOW DO I EVEN DESCRIBE IT.

HIS SONG IS THE ONLY ONE WITH WORDS.

The way he asks Kris is they want to be a heart on a chain their whole life. Like, dude, no wonder they were screaming after the fight.

WHERE DID THE YELLOW HEART COME FROM. YELLOW MEANS JUSTICE. WHY DOES JUSTICE APPLY.

Kris screaming after the fight and the player not being able to hear it. Don't you dare tell me that's just how the game is designed. There are sound effects characters make throughout the game. None that I can think of apply to Kris, apart from when they rip their soul out.

Ralsei brushing off the Spamton fight. Either that's his coping mechanism or he was trying to shut Susie and Kris up to protect them from... something. I'll touch on that in a minute.

According to Queen, DETERMINATION is a key factor in creating a fountain.

Also according to Queen, Kris, Noelle, and Susie all have DETERMINATION SOULS.

Ralsei freaking out about Berdley making a fountain implies that he may also have DETERMINATION. Why I'm bringing all this up will make sense soon.

How was Noelle able to cast Snowgrave... a spell that she, according to her, didn't know?

The Snowgrave route is so twisted.

You manipulate Noelle into killing Berdley and then, when you get back to the computer lab and investigate his corpse, the text box says that he doesn't seem to be awake. As if you're in denial?

Burgerpants recognizes you. Not Kris. As in the player.

The ending. I don't think I need to describe it. Kris is very methodical without the SOUL. (I say "the" because, again, I'm not 100% convinced it's theirs.) I'm saying this about how they left clues that someone broke into the This proves that they are NOT a mindless, vengeful husk.

HOW DID THEY MAKE THE FOUNTAIN WITHOUT THE SOUL INSIDE OF THEM. DID THEY FEED THE SOUL TO IT AFTERWARDS? IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS?

Another point I would like to make is my theory that Ralsei knows much more than he would have us believe. I might put this into a different post because I have yet to gather my points into a coherent bullet point list, so keep an eye out for that.

Anyway apart from Toriel and Susie being VERY heavy sleepers, I think I've gone through everything. I have a few theories.

1. Kris is possessed by the player and figured out that they could make a fountain from Queen and related to Spamton freaking out about freedom. They then decided to make a fountain going by the logic that "this would tick the player off." This is one of my top theories that assumes that the SOUL is theirs.

And 2. Kris is possessed by both the player and the knight. I think the formless voice at the very beginning of the game is the knight, and they somehow needed the player to possess someone with DETERMINATION. If so, then why Kris? We know from Queen that Noelle and Susie, and maybe even Berdley also have DETERMINATION. The most plausible thing I can think of is the fact that human souls are stronger than monster ones.

I do think that the popular theory (about the one that suggests that the Dark Word is nothing but a figment of a child's imagination, and the events that occur in said Dark World are simply children playing with toys) has been thoroughly dashed due to Berdley's murder in the genocide route of the second chapter. Unless he's not dead. Regardless, how the events (or lack thereof) that occur in the second chapter play through the next will be interesting, especially considering Toby's announcement about how there will be one ending to the game. So either Berdley isn't dead, or he will be.

Aaaand I think that's it! Sorry for the long post; let me know your thoughts and if I missed anything!

[gregorygerwitz]

Getting back to you on 2011/high infidelity, feel free to ignore this ask until you feel coherent and in a space to answer 💖💖💖💝💝💝

Okay, this is gonna be maybe bare bones of it? I might let it get away from me. We'll see. I think the "trilogy" of 2011 songs is High Infidelity/Anti-Hero/Labyrinth, with Karma as like... an epilogue? If that makes any sense? Hear me out for a second. Yes, I'm color coding things again. It keeps me sane.

Yes, Anti-Hero is absolutely a Thelma song but it was a Mouse song first so that's a different essay

High Infidelity is like summer of 2011, Mouse coming out to his parents and getting kicked out, that kind of... crash, I guess, of this reality that he was so wrong about them and how they would react. And a part of it kind of ties forward into November, too, but I'll get to that later.

Anti-Hero is September/October 2011, that fear of coming out to Jay because that truth about himself already cost him his parents and that familial relationship he thought was unbreakable, and he can't bear the idea of losing his best friend because of it, too. And that carries us up through brunch.

Labyrinth is such a specific vibe. It's the night of November 14th, 2011, waking up at Med with Jay there and that sudden realization of, oh shit, maybe this isn't just friendship that I feel for him (I could tie Glitch into this moment really easily too, but that's a different essay)

Karma is years later, once Jay and Mouse actually get together. It's the aftermath of everything, and Mouse reflecting back on all the shit he went through and how things worked out so that he's happy now and his parents and their opinions don't matter - the best revenge is living his best life kind of thing.

Yeah, this is gonna get unruly, so I'll put in a read more.

Warnings for: homophobia, drug use/addiction, depression, anxiety, attempted suicide

So High Infidelity really jumps right in it with the feels, here, because the first verse has the lyric blind hoping, you said I was freeloading, I didn't know you were keeping count. And it's that vibe of having the rug ripped out from under him when he came out, he thought he was safe because he had a roof over his head and his parents loved him, and then he's being kicked out with no warning and no support. But that fear has always been there, in the back of his mind, for a decade at that point, because he's known that he's gay since high school, and went along with the pressure he faced from his parents for all that time - that pressure to find a woman and settle down and have kids to pass the family name and money and power to one day. Even if it killed him inside to pretend and keep lying - your picket fence is sharp as knives, I was dancing around it.

There's part of the second verse that really captures his feelings on coming out and the hindsight he gets about that decision - both about coming out and the consequences of it, and keeping it to himself for so long before saying something:

storm coming, good husband, bad omen dragged my feet right down the aisle at the house lonely, good money I'd pay if you'd just know me seemed like the right thing at the time you know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love the slowest way is not loving them enough

And a part of him still believes that his parents did love him, potentially still do, but it wasn't enough. It didn't make up for this major slight in their eyes, and he wasn't worthy of that love anymore, no matter what they might claim. He'd kind of been a failure in their eyes since he dropped out of school anyway, so he was just failing again, in a different way, another reason to add to the pile for why they wanted nothing to do with him, for why he was a miserable son who could have been better for them and the family image if he tried a little harder - high infidelity, put on your records and regret me.

And that brings us right up to Anti-Hero, a song about taking all the blame for everything and struggling to see how someone would find them worthy of love. And that's kind of why I've been thinking of it as a song about his fear about telling Jay and potentially losing his best friend on top of everything he's already lost - I wake up screaming from dreaming one day I'll watch as you're leaving and life will lose all its meaning.

But in hiding that part of himself, he internalizes a lot of the feelings that his parents have made very clear to him. That he's the failure in all of this, that it's his fault his life fell apart the way it did, because of this thing he can't control. And he even lies to Jay about why he moved out, claiming it was his idea because he wanted his own space, and his parents' homophobia and forcing his hand the way they did doesn't even make it into the conversation. It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me.

It's another thing that's kind of killing him slowly, being so alone and not actually having someone to talk to - I should not be left to my own devices, they come with prices and vices. I end up in crisis. Because he was already struggling so much with his parents' support, and having that taken away definitely made him retreat into himself and rely more on painkillers to cope. And that's another mistake that Mouse makes, another failure for the pile, another reason for everyone to leave, even when Jay doesn't, another burden to put on the people around him. It must be exhausting, always rooting for the anti-hero.

And that opinion is reinforced at brunch, when Thelma is correcting every little thing he does even with an audience of Jay and the entire room, when he's outed before he's ready - to his best friend and to everyone else just trying to eat their meals around their table because a scene got made. It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. at teatime, everybody agrees. He's the reason it's such a big deal, the reason the scene was made in the first place, and him trying to stop it only made it bigger. He's the reason so many people had their days disrupted by his drama that he couldn't control well enough. And that internal blame turns into a downward spiral, which leads us into Labyrinth.

it only feels this raw right now lost in the labyrinth of my mindbreak up, break freebreak through, break down

It's the start of this... arc of sorts. He hits rock bottom because no one was trying to catch him before he got there. But he does start to realize that he can't rely on his parents anymore, and he's assuming he can't reach out to Jay after the truth got out, so he keeps retreating and pulling back from help even when it's offered. He feels so alone, and he was already hitting that breaking point of just not being able to do it anymore, and one bad microwave dinner in an empty, cold apartment when he's behind on rent is just that final straw. So he takes out his bottle of pills and takes the rest of them, and that's supposed to be it. All of the hurt and the disappointment is supposed to be over.

And then he wakes up. In a crappy hospital bed with a thin mattress, and the monitors beeping and wheezing is really annoying, but that's not what he's focusing on. Because Jay is there, half asleep, next to him at rock bottom even if there was no way to catch him in time, and it's the first time he's seen someone make a visible effort to help him beyond offers of free food and criticism in... as long as he can remember. It's the first solid proof he's gotten that someone cares about him in any capacity in months. It's the first thing that he can hold onto that gives him hope, even if it's tiny and dim - I thought the plane was going down. How'd you turn it right around?

It's not perfect, and it's not an immediate recovery from everything he's still trying to process, and nothing will be. As much as this is a Moustead song, at the core, it's perfect for this moment of the beginning of his recovery, even if it's going to be long and the trauma his parents put him through might never stop affecting him. I'll be getting over you my whole life.

But his overdose is definitely the moment he realizes how much Jay means to him. Because yes, he was already Mouse's best friend, and that loss would have hurt so much, but now it's elevated, a little bit. Whether it's because the feelings are genuine and have been lingering there for a while or because Jay actively saved his life (again) and he feels that debt, the effect is the same:

you would break your back to make me break a smile you know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back just like that uh oh, I'm falling in love oh no, I'm falling in love again

Those feelings are there, and he doesn't know what to do about them. He can't act on them. He can't ignore them forever. But one thing is certain in all of it - he's alive, and breathing, and it's all because of Jay, not his parents or even his own force of will. His parents' love, or what they claimed was love, was killing him, and the love of his best friend brought him back. And that all ties back together with High Infidelity, too:

you know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love the slowest way is never loving them enough do you really wanna know where I was April 29th? do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

And then we have to do this major jump forward for Karma. Because Labyrinth is just the start of Mouse recovering from everything his parents did, and Karma is the very end of that arc.

It's when he finally gets to that point of being happy with is life despite how hard he hit rock bottom. Because he still has his best friend there with him, and hasn't spoken to the people who hurt him the most in years, and everything is okay. He got his happy ending despite them, not because of them. He got what he deserves, not what his parents thought he deserved, and it's especially satisfying that it goes against everything they actually wanted for him:

karma is my boyfriend karma is a god karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend karma's a relaxing thought aren't you envious that for you it's not?

ask me what I learned from all those years ask me what I earned from all those tears ask me why so many fade when I'm still here

He earned his happy ending, dammit. He went through so much and he deserves a reward for making it as far as he did. And he gets it. And it's so satisfying just to come out the other side of everything in one piece.

[rviner]

Bella can't fight her laughter, shooting Felix a playfully incredulous look. "I'm sorry, did I just slip into an alternate universe where you make bun-puns now? Without me making a pun first?" her hands lift either side of his face, squishing his cheeks as she chuckles. "Who are you and what did you do with my moody Ranstromen?" Bella teases him in more laughter, but once her gaze settles on the ring, the sound subsides. At first, into an awkward chuckle but then a thoughtful one. All she can see from Felix is the blur of his movements from the corner of her eye, and he's clearly unaware of her reaction. Even Bella isn't sure what she's thinking.

Her thumb brushes over the emerald gently, and once Felix confirms the energy she feels is some of the remainder of his now lost magic, she's certain they both sense the shift. How the ring now has an entirely different sentiment to it. Bella lifts her attention to Felix, a slight bewilderment on her expression. "Yeah, I do. It's really beautiful, Felix." she tells him sincerely, letting out a nervous laugh. "I'm more shocked you thought I wouldn't?" the Belcourt adds, noticing Felix experience the identical confusion to her. It brings out yet another laugh from her when he comes closer.

Bella's attention remains on Felix as he thinks, but can't seem to conjure a coherent thought of her own. "Obviously we're not getting engaged, that would be premature right now." she agrees instantly, nodding firmly. "But...what are we meant to do? Now I know what the ring is? Does that even matter? Maybe we're overthinking." they most certainly are, but Bella watches as Felix takes the ring and she purposely lifts her right hand for them to check the size. Instantly, she laughs yet again, even more so at Felix's admission. "Well, can I have it back!?" Bella exclaims in amusement for her assumed-lost cherry blossom ring. But, none if it really answers their predicament. "Um...maybe if we just put it back and I can pretend to be shocked?"

A smirk touched the corner of Felix's lips as he surveyed Bella while she twirled, another nod given of sincere approval for the sight of her. "That's a shame. I'll just have to make do with a different set of your butt-buns." he could barely say it with a straight face, but Felix eventually managed to school his expression in time to feign the serious bit for the ring. "Beautiful. I'm sure our vows will be real tear-jerkers." he remarked teasingly and as Bella inspected the ring, Felix prepared himself for the Hell that was awaiting them at Central Park. Phone, Keys, Wallet. Sunglasses that he'd refuse to wear until he was blinded. Dimmer. "You don't need to be kind about it, it won't cry." he laughed slightly.

But, Felix was expecting his little routine to be accompanied by the sound of Bella's laughter. And it wasn't. He turned curiously as he slid the dimmer around his neck and hid it under his shirt, a wrinkle of his nose at the way his Belcourt witch was staring at the ring. "That's a good idea." Felix agreed but made his way back over to Bella, her question jolting his memory. "Oh, yeah. I did. I don't think every tradition is oppressive and stunts progress, you know. Some can be quite sweet." he grinned, but it was only faint then as an awkward realization swept over him. "Wait, you like it?" Felix remarked, his gaze darting to the ring and then to Bella's expression.

He didn't consider himself someone who went through life via scripts, but even Felix had to admit there wasn't a protocol here he could follow. Giving a ring to your partner that you thought she'd hate, but she likes it? There was a long pause, and it was obvious Felix's thoughts were churning as he glanced between the ring and Bella again. "Well..." his voice was hesitant at first before he huffed and a more deliberate tone found it's way from him. "We're not getting engaged in my fucking kitchen, Isaballa. I've snorted coke and ket and God knows what else off every surface in here." he declared blankly, waving a gesture to signal the end of the discussion. "Is it even the right size!?" Oop, no, that sounded slightly frantic as he gently plucked the ring from her and purposely slid it to her right hand. It was. "Ah shit, I took one of your stack rings. I still have that actually, the cherry blossom one you keep looking for. Sorry. Just remembered."

[gillianthecat]

I was in a weird and oddly vulnerable mood yesterday, so instead of watching the three new episodes of the shows I was "supposed" to watch and risk feeling disappointed* by them, I rewatched the first To My Star. I think I wrote right after my first viewing that it would probably become one of my comfort shows, and apparently it has :-)

First of all, I think I loved it even more the second time. And it was better than I remembered. I still didn't think it was perfect, but parts that had seemed disjointed previously seemed more coherent this time, and I could see how much of the characters' arcs she was setting up from the very first moment.†

This was my first rewatch after seeing To My Star 2, and I'm amazed at how much of the groundwork for the sequel was already laid out in the first show. The two really feel like a coherent whole. I had previously decided that TMS2 was basically fanfic of the first one, and while I don't think that's wrong exactly, TMS is very clearly setting up everything that happens in TMS2. All of the character traits and issues that lead to the conflicts and struggles of TMS2 are already present in TMS, they merely become bigger and less ignorable.

Even little things that seemed like comedic throwaway moments or relatively minor scenes turn out to become major relationship issues or important plot points in the sequel: Things like Seo-joon teasing Ji-woo about not believing he'd been in a relationship before and Ji-woo being so closed-lipped about it, Seo-joon's attempts to smooth everything over with money, Ji-woo's dislike of accepting money from him, even Seo-joon's cooking video.

There were several lines of dialogue that are basically previews to some of the most significant conversations in TMS2. Ji-woo tells Seo-joon "You're not considerate of other's feelings and say what you want to say. I'm envious of it," which is a foreshadowing of what he says after the relief of finding that little girl is safe, just before their desperate kiss: ""How could you be so honest about everything? How can I ignore you now?"

And their fight just before Ji-woo moves out of the house (this is how he deals with conflict! He runs away!) is the basic conflict that permeates TMS2.

J: "Everything that happened between us... Thinking about it made me feel disgusted." S: "This doesn't make sense all of a sudden. There's something wrong, isn't there." J: "When I'm with you, I feel like I'll be put in danger."

Ji-woo misdirects and lies about his feelings, he gets overwhelmed by the bleed-through of Seo-joon's fame, he thinks he can protect Seo-joon by pulling away and leaving him. And Seo-joon knows something doesn't add up, but he can't figure out what. This is what starts the events of TMS2, and it foreshadows many of their conversations.

I don't think I realized how consistent the characters were between shows, or how similar the overall tone of the two shows was. I think the first time I saw TMS I was expecting a more traditional BL and that colored my perception. But upon rewatch, its style - it's treatment of the two main characters, the world around them, even the aesthetics - has a lot in common with TMS2. And I don't think it's just a Hwang Da-Seul thing, the To My Stars are much more similar to each other than they are to either Blueming or Where Your Eyes Linger. Now I'm curious if Hwang Da-seul had written them both together, or if she only thought of the sequel after the first one was a success. It's starting to feel as if they were conceived of as one unit.

Anyways, I could write a lot more words about all the threads and themes that carry through to TMS2, and perhaps I will, but not today.

*I did make myself start The Eclipse, but I felt so irrationally betrayed that the kiss was just a fantasy that I decided I wasn't in the right headspace and gave up for now after the first quarter. I have been loving all three of these high school shows so much, and I don't want them to do anything to make me stop loving them. This is one of my first experiences devoutly following a series week to week (and my very first experience reacting to it as part of a community), and I didn't realize how much I would bond to these shows. Usually I binge things and process it all immediately, and in my own head. Don't get me wrong, overall it's been a wonderful experience watching them this way, I just didn't want to push it yesterday and ruin things for myself.

† I had planned to enjoy TMS mindlessly, but apparently these days I'm incapable of watching something without writing out my thoughts on it.

[djdeviljin]

Hype and fear regarding Tekken 8!

I have so many thought right now but I'll try to write them down as coherently as possible:

This trailer looked so good! And apparently it's not a cutscene but actual gameplay!?!

Okay so I'm really hyped right now but I also have one BIG fear for Tekken 8: Are they gonna merge Jin and Devil Jin into one character?!?

Cause I REALLY hope that's not the case! Partially because I main DJ and it'd really suck if I won't be able to play as him anymore but rather have to choose Jin and then transform during the match! I also fear that doing that would limit DJ's movepool as him and Jin would be one character and they'd probably give him a mix of both of their movesets instead of giving them both their own full movesets (these are just my theories though).

But the main reason I don't want this is that I like Devil Jin as his own character and it'd really really suck if they "removed" him from the game by just making him a part of Jin now. I always enjoyed Devil Jin's presence in the games and the role he played, both directly and indirectly. He's been such a huge part of Jin's storyline for so long that it feels kinda anticlimactic if Jin just "got rid" off him so suddenly. Even though DJ wasn't playable from the very beginning, he's still been in every game that Jin's been in and has had a huge role in the story. So for Jin to just be able to control his devil gene all of a sudden just doesn't feel right to me. But I might also be jumping to conclusions here.

Since we don't see Jin fully transform (like Kazuya does when he switches to Devil in the games) I hope that it means that Jin still doesn't have full control, or at least that they're gonna make Devil Jin his own playable character in Tekken 8, I guess it depends on how much of DJ's moveset they're gonna give Jin in his half transformed state (cause it'd be wierd to give him DJ's flying moves with just one wing, on the other half it'd also be wierd to give Jin a lot of DJ's moves and then also add DJ as there'd be two characters with basically the same moveset). But I feel like many people would be upset if they merged the two since their figthing styles are so different from one another.

A good solution imo would be that Jin can't fully transform or he'll still lose control! That would also add some more stakes to his fights, as he still has to be careful not to give in fully to the devil gene.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see but for now at least I'm holding on to the hope that DJ will be his own character in this game!

So while I'm hyped for a new game and the continuation of the story, I'm also anxious to see how they handle Jin and Devil Jin going forward.

[ebenelephant]

ughhh. i've seen that floating around; very gross.

reading my post back, boy howdy was that a barely coherent mess. one more thought to add tho: izzy is, notably, the only queer not in a relationship or relationship-adjacent situation by the end of the series. there can be some debate/discussion about fang and whether or not lupete are still open, but he's not mentioned half as much by these people. it smells of amatonormativity, honestly – which i can't really call an anti-specific thing considering half izzy's fans are desperate for him to get a fucking and a hug, and shipping is obviously so prevalent in fandom – but still it feels like there's this ugly little undercurrent of izzy being a less realised queer character because he never consummates his queerness. sadly, this is something i've seen reflected to a degree in certain more izzy-positive spaces, however for the purposes of the discussion i'm putting forwards, i see this as part of the wider issue of fans of the show putting value on, like, how a characters journey of queerness progresses.

for example, lucius and pete are in the best possible place right now because they are married and happy. people far smarter than me have already made the point that that's... possibly a strange choice for a canonically open couple with polyamorous characters, but not inherently bad, as many poly people are married. i'm more stuck on the fact that marriage is the culmination of their arc – a trope i low-key hate for anyone, but especially queer couples, who for centuries have had very different ideas of community and happiness and fulfillment in a relationship, outside of the binary, monogamous, heterosexualised norm.

likewise, for ed and stede the be all and end all is to retire and live a domestic life together. nevermind that this undermines stede's drive to be a great pirate who lives a life of adventure, which has always been his dream, long before he met ed, as well as the fact that both of them (but probably moreso ed) could do with some time apart to figure out where they stand as individuals outside of the roles they've been assigned their whole lives. they should have that time to take things slow.

but also, like, the notion of putting moral values on things like repressing your own fucking homosexuality, or coming out late, or never being in a fulfilling relationship? fucking gross.

izzy was a dick because he slut-shamed. because he saw his boss unhappy and wanted him to carry on. because he was harsh with the crew. he's not a dick for being repressed. for hating himself. those aspects of his character do not make him a bad person.

and if you're mentioning his repression and his internalised homophobia, or saying he was homophobic until recently, or saying he 'reformed', then like. you mean he only came out last week. you mean he only recently accepted himself. you mean he only recently felt safe enough to explore his identity without shame.

that's not a fucking moral failing. izzy fucking hiding his queerness for fifty-something years is not a moral failing. that's not something you can judge him on. the fact that this internalised homophobia likely contributed to his feelings of resentment towards the more effeminate men on the crew? that is something you can criticise. but even then, it doesn't make his own queerness less acceptable.

so I've seen some izzy-antis discussing the 'bury your gays' accusations regarding the finale. and for the record, i also dont think that izzy's death is an example of that trope. do i think it a rushed disservice to his character and frankly fucking unnecessary? yes. but sometimes writing can just be shitty and upsetting without it falling into bigoted tropes.

my issue with these individuals is the generally dismissive tone with which many discuss his queerness. almost as if they dont want to admit that Izzy is queer, or that they think that people are being ridiculous for mourning him because the 'good gays' lived. like, izzy died, but izzy was repressed and had internalised homophobia and perpetuated toxic masculinity and never explicitly came out, so it's fine! it doesn't matter, because stede and ed get to have their happy little cottage, and the possible-polycule are off on a high seas adventure, and lucius and pete are gay-married Mateys.

this really fucking bothers me.

every time i so much as see one of these posts my skin crawls. because i literally do not care if someone's fandom opinion differs from my own, as long as no one is being harassed; but this feels... different, somehow. it's not enough to dislike izzy, they have to somehow diminish his queerness.

like i said, some of them barely want to call him gay. skirting around the issue, barely acknowledging that him saying he 'has love' for edward is the same as being totally and devastatingly 'in love' with him for years - possibly decades. izzy is a bad queer, and so his queerness isn't important. his experiences, his growth, the fact that he died. he's a bad gay, so he isn't important.

and he's bad because for so long he detached himself from his queerness. he was scared of feeling, he was scared of softness, he was scared of sweetness. he was cruel, and he was mean, and meanness is a thing perpetuated against members of the lgbt community, not by them. it's this new system of purity politics: everything is black and white. homophobes are bad, and izzy was bad, therefore calling him queer chafes. it's almost like admitting there's some goodness in him.

and fuck. the idea that his death needn't be ruminated on just because other gays are happy is perverse.

[bangtanpromptsfics]

coral roses. (m)

dialogue prompt #2: “If you won't do it then I'll”

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: established relationship, smut, pwp(?), fluff

word count: 1,414

warnings: making out, unprotected sex (more like a quikie(?)), top!oc, bottom!jk

summary: jungkook loses a bet because he needs to devour you

a/n: drop your feedbacks guyss!! pretty much a pwp :)

masterlist

“If you won't do it then I'll”, he grits his teeth, more like in a cute way making you chuckle. You glance at him through the book you're reading at the moment, winding up to relax from the long day.

“Well then you lose”, you coo. He plops on a farther end of the bed, bringing himself to sit on his heels.

“Why are we even doing this in the first place baby?”, he whines, tapping on your ankles a little to catch your attention. First of all you are taking a really childish challenge way too seriously and acting like a brat on top of that.

“You started it”

“I was drunk!”, he fights back, his doe shaped eyes enlarging to show his disappointment.

“It's just a few more hours Jeon. Don't be so impatient hm?”, you don't look up at him. Going on and about teasing him. He did like it sometimes, but right now wasn't the time.

To put more context, Jungkook drunk confessed that he is addicted to your lips and kept kissing them all through a party and you sort of pricked on his lack of self control. And since Jungkook is a man fond of challenges, he immediately makes a very dramatic toast with half a glass of his liqor that he won't touch you or kiss you for an entire day.

And as usual, his sober self has to bear with the consequences. To take things further down the hole, you are wearing only an oversized hoodie, fresh scent of your shampoo and skincare products around the air, sitting there with a bare face and focused eyes, though that might be just a play you're putting up.

“Aren't you going to change, just gonna sit there? Go take a shower Jungkook you are stinking”, you add, and it's a lie. He smells like his expensive collection of perfumes and much more boyfriend enough to not kiss, but...you know, ego.

To summarise, he had enough of this.

The book is yanked away from your hand. His strong hands builds a cage around your small frame and presses it against the headboard of the bed. He smirks, realising it only takes the bare minimum to make you falter.

“Okay…I lose baby. I just need you now”. he growls.

He immediately seeks home in caressing your outer thigh where your hoodie ends, and spreads them enough for him to settle better to kiss you hard. Loads of pent up frustration and he feels like he is pulled back to life when he finally presses into your mouth.

Thanks to your bratty ass, he doesn't go any easy. A shaky moan leaves your lips when his tongue licks at the floor of your mouth, but also, he isn't doing anything more than holding your thighs when you are already craving and all worked up.

You hold his wrist and try to bring it to your chest, but he slaps it away, so you go for his collars to pull impossibly closer to feel his torso on you, althoughfeeling sad with no other stimulation on your body.

When the air starts to run out, he finally inches back, licking on his lips. Your lips quirk up when he tugs at the hem of your hoodie.

“My baby didn't seem so eager earlier”, he rasps. Glad that your face stays hidden when he slowly pulls out your hoodie, leaving you in white panties.

He holds you by the waist and turns both of your bodies around so that he sits resting back on the headboard while you are straddling his lap, immediately trying to rub against his denim covered thighs for some friction.

He stops, squeezing your butt cheeks, “Patience baby, ride something better hm?”.

He chuckles at the animalistic endeavor of yours to get him naked. But you don't bother to get his pants all the way out, just enough to pull out his member.

He shudders, feeling the air cooling off the wetness on his member, and you get up just a moment enough to be completely bare while he starts stroking himself.

Removing his hands, you hold his girth, pumping it a few times to watch him sink into your touch, head falling back.

You go for his neck, determined to bring spots of purple around it. It feels like you are taking your sweet and his not-so-sweet time to go further, so his grip drops down to hook under the butt and plop you straight on the head of his cock. He holds some sort of intense eye contact, one that of beyond lust, but there is no time for any analysis when he jerks his pelvis upward to sear into you.

You clench almost pathetically around him and he groans, guiding you to bob up and down his length.

Jungkook can't come up with any coherent thoughts to word his feelings right now. He just loves you so much and very happy to have a really healthy relationship, one consistent for years and with understanding. He feels like tearing up, out of both pleasure and warmth.

He sees you fondling with your breasts so he leans forward to lick in some attention to the pebbled buds. The more faster you went on him, he suked in harder, biting around to return the artwork on his neck and along the jaw.

“I'm close baby… mngh keep going”, he aligns his movements accordingly to let you feel him as deeper as possible. You can't come up with words, except chanting his name for every clench of the wall.

Though it was just breif sex, it felt euphoric after being touch deprived. A day doesn't sound long, but he is crazy about you and could make love all day if he could.

With a silent scream, he comes, starting your own orgasm. It takes a moment to come down from the high.

You remain as you are, close and cuddled. The bed is probably stinking with sweat and arousal, but you couldn't care any less. You wrap your hands around his torso, feeling his cock softening inside you.

“I love you so much baby”, he whispers, planting a kiss to your cheek. You blush and press your cheeks to his pecs, “I love yo— what's that? ”

His pants have ridden further down his thighs and something is poking out of his pocket. You feel his heartbeat increasing against your cheek.

Fuck. It's a ring.

“Baby please don't freak out I can explain! ”, he shouts out, wrapping his hands around you more firmly, assuming the worst of the scenarios.

You hug him back, eyes still on the black velvet box spread out on the bed.

“I planned so much. I swear. I wanted to make this perfect”, he rushes to supply. He feels your warm hands rubbing his back to calm him down.

“Kookie”, you pull away from him, hands cupping his cheek because he is too terrified to look at you in the eye right now, “Please propose to me”.

He takes a moment to let your words sink in. And after, he is the quickest thing on earth to grab the box and open it.

“Y-Y/n…”.

“Take it easy. Breathe Kook. You are not breathing. It's just me. ”

That puts him into more ease. He feels embaressed that he couldn't do it in a more independent manner, the way he had them all laid out— coming Saturday at the first cafe you went on a date. It was supposed to be perfect. You would walk home holding hands, and then he would get on one knee and tell you how much you mean to him. But it's all gone now and he feels bad.

You hold his pecs and give it a pat and he smiles, a nervous one, “Y/n...will you marry me?”

You plant a sweet kiss to his lips. It feels a little salty from his incoming tears. You rub it away with the pad of your thumbs, “Yes Kookie, I'll marry you”.

“Baby you make me the happiest man alive”, he sobs. His hands still trembling to place the ring on your fingers. It's lavish and work of custom made beauty, he put months of work into it. Though things didn't go exactly planned, it was a happy ending. He can't wait to see you in a white dress at the altar, to be the father to your kids and to call you his wife for the rest of his life.

Thank you so much for reading!! ♡

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