#I have lots of feelings on the movie as a whole (mostly good) but Asha herself just wasn’t connected with me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spottedtrains-blog · 6 years

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henlo heathens ! it’s ur girl t(r)asha , [ uh did u kno ( r ) = that symbol .. cos i didn’t .. wild ] back with her dumbasses . i was around for the Og™ rp but i made some changes to my charries so yeet ! everything is under the cut and hmu if you’d like to plot , i’m v excited to rp with everyone ! i’m currently prepping to get on a train back to my hometown for reading week but if no one sits next to me i might fucc around ‘n rp a bit if not .. then i’ll be sticking to the im’s fhgjkhg <33

my son ! bobby callaghan is his name - movies , reckless driving , drugs , and befriending murderers is his game ! i have a bio HERE b/c i’m incapable of making intro posts that aren’t 100k bullet points long so in order to get away from that i’m just gonna put a few fun hc’s below !

his actual name is robert , but that’s a disgusting boring name , for boring people and he’s not gonna be that ! he thinks he’s the coolest , the bee’s knees , the lead singer . in reality he’s not , more like the drummer and the bee’s ass .

he’s actually rly smart , but u wldn’t be able to tell b/c he acts like a crackhead ( mayhaps because he’s on crack ? hm ) . he had the grades to study any the stem subjects post high school and prolly wld’ve thrived , but he chose to study cinema .. truly , braver than the us marines .

speaking of , he’s the owner of the theatre and he loves with it his whole entire ( probably ) failing heart ! if cinema is dying he’ll go down with this ship mhm . his favorite genre is horror , then pornography .. he wrote his final thesis on the benefits of pushing porn into mainstream media so fite him ! his fave director is david cronenberg /: hit him with that body horror .. also i like to hc that ownership was like passed down from the old owner who retired and bobby probably worked as like an usher or manager or something before that !!

his dicc is struggling , mayhaps he should cool it with the drugs .

he’s well aware of the gangs , fuccs with them , no. 1 murder fanboy .

WANTED CONNECTIONS

and they were roommates : listen they prolly have a kinda nice apartment which bobby makes disgusting , b/c he’s stinky . most definitely started a fire on the stove top multiple times , place always smells like weed , his room looks like urban outfitters on crack , always a movie playing in the bg ... fun !

movie skwad / film club : listen , ur chara like movies ? they in . if there’s a film club bobby can hosts screenings at the theatre .. also he screens a selection of weird finds every sunday after midnight ): it’ll be fun , they can all just chill , and discuss tarantino’s foot fetish ..

co-workers / manager : i mean ig it’s kinda hard for someone to pick up this connection if they not a new charrie but i love being dumb so .. he’s probably at the theatre 25/8 but like ,, he’s not the most organized , he relies on his trusty staff and manager so , idk !

drug dealer : even tho he’s from colorado springs i’d like to think he got into drugs after a trip down to valdez , and then he kept goin to valdez and the rest is history .. they’d probably have to be around the same age as hi m .. he’s a v loyal customer . maybe ur muse feels bad that he’s a right junkie .. maybe they don’t give a fucc ! they prolly v friendly tho : )

childhood friends : listen to sticks ’n’ stones by jamie t , and give me a friendship based on that ? basically kids who just got into a bunch of shit together , mostly this iconic lyric : and rushed back to your momma’s flat , it’s the only place but home i feel relaxed enough to crap , i know it sounds crude , but there’s something to that . iconic .

wow ! look at my daughter go - even though frances barely ever smiles . sad . click HERE for the tragic backstory , because below’s just gonna be some smexy headcanons ..

she loves electronic music and bad television .. she wouldn’t be able to tell you the name of the music ‘cos it’s always the stuff that plays at the club and she’s not technologically savvy enough to even know that shazam exist .. and she still uses like dvr , to record .. riverdale ? sweaty we wanna stan but ..

dancing’s her only reprieve in this cold , dark world ): .. she spends any days off in a rented studio at the local gym , choreographing dance after dance , it’s her favourite thing . she’s entirely self-taught , youtube & free drop in classes .. truly a blessing .

she’s painfully realistic , kinda blunt but in a rly awkward way ? she so conscientious of the way people receive her so she tries to be as direct as possible and it always comes off just so blank - she cares a lot, just doesn’t kno how to show it sometimes !

although she’s with the savages b/c she’s kinda indebted , she doesn’t rly feel that way ? girlie was rly depressed n it kinda gave her a purpose , though she does have guilt regarding her evading jail time .. b/c she thinks she deserves some kind of repercussion.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

college friends : she was literally in college for like a year .. barely .. but like maybe she found some friends ! who introduced her to the clubs ! gave her a lil bit of verve in life .. even if she spent the rest of the year drinking , clubbing and avoiding all academic responsibility ..

someone to learn that awfully cringy riverdale dance : don’t ask me why i want this, i just do and it’s VALID ok ! c’mon cowards it’ll be fun . they’ll be laughin while they do the slut drop it’ll be booty-ful

childhood friends : she’s a valdez native so like, she went to school here and grew up here and all that good stuff . up for any dynamic , maybe they grew apart , maybe they’re still just as close ? anything !

grocery store pals : even though she doesn’t work there anymore, she had been working there since she was fourteen and worked there for abt a decade give or take so suffice to say she knows her grocery store peeps ! n shops there regularly so hmu :)

lawyer : for when the thingy happened ! she probably has a strained relationship with them , grateful but also like .. shoulda just let me rot in jail kinda vibes !

#outlaw.intro #my url is so dumb dhfjgd .. i am aware .. my Mind #it's a conscious decision #anYWYAS i shld shut up and walk to the station so <3

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christinamirabilis · 7 years

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gay ask game for gays only (stolen from @fakeking)

doing this myself cos i’m bored and i don’t care

1. describe your idea of a perfect date? okay like, perfect date that is (currently) unrealistic would be an extended overseas vacation with my love - somewhere warm but with lots of exciting things to do - culture, shopping, nightlife - i’m thinking like mediterranean europe, south america, thailand. skinny dipping, lazy days lying in bed all day in a room with open French doors leading out onto a balcony with a nice view over cobbled streets and a warm breeze stirring the sheet white curtains, sitting outside a café eating delicious food, buying cool shit at the markets... just, yeah, travel. perfect.

but otherwise, i guess like honestly my favourite thing to do is to go to a bar somewhere with outdoor seating where it’s warm, and we get antipasto platters and sangria or pizza and margaritas, or just whatever, food and drink, and we sit for hours and chat. there’s a bar on the waterfront that has a bunch of beanbags out on the lawn and you can order food and drink and i went there once with soph and it was really nice even though we ended up having a fight later that night and it was awful, but i wanna go back there next summer i think, with a cute girl who loves me and isn’t planning on leaving lmao. but anyway.

2. whats your “type”? honestly i don’t really know like i just really love girls? all girls? i mean i guess i like girls who are curvy or a little on the chubby side, with an “alternative” look in some way - crazy hair or tattoos and piercings or just in the way they dress. girls with loud laughs and big appetites and dirty minds. i mean, i’m pretty much describing myself here, i’m aware of that. there’s probably something ominously freudian or whatever in the fact that i’m attracted to girls who are similar to, but better versions of, me, but it’s whatever.

3. do you want kids? yeah i think i do. it’s something i go back and forth on. it’s not something that i absolutely need to be happy - i have dated people in the past who have not wanted children and honestly it’s more important to me to be with someone who i feel is my soulmate but who won’t have kids with me, rather than someone who i don’t love as much but who will? but yeah i do want kids, i think, but i’m not sure, and i’m not set on it?

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth? well i’m definitely not getting pregnant myself. if my partner wants to get pregnant, that would be fine, although i’m gonna have to get over my phobia of pregnant people lmao. but i think my first choice would be adoption, purely because there are so many kids in the system who need a loving home, so i feel like it would be better for the world if i could make a tiny difference by adopting some of those kids?

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on? ah man i don’t even know. i’m just thinking about all the things i did with sophie and it’s making me sad so i’m not going to answer this one haha.

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)? i mean, yeah, i was nervous, but more than anything i was kind of like, “oh wow, this is really happening,” because it was a girl who i’d been on one date with and then we met up in town a few days later and i went home with her. i was mostly worried that i tasted bad? but i personally didn’t struggle with it like it just felt natural, and i was pretty stoked that i made her cum several times on my first time, like, i was worried i would be “bad” at it or whatever.

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay? night time gay.

8. opinion on nap dates? good.

9. opinion on brown eyes? good.

10. dog gay or cat gay? i like both. i am bipetual, if you will. but if i had to choose, cats - but only marginally.

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles? of course, except probably not snakes, but there are no snakes in new zealand. but i love rats, and i don’t mind lizards and stuff.

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone? if they’re polyamorous, non-monogamy is my only absolute dealbreaker - and in my experience, the consequences of trying non-monogamy have, for me anyway, been disastrous.

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one? well, to be honest, i’d never ~met~ a gay person, to my knowledge, like, no one that was openly out (although in hindsight i had probably met a few) - and certainly no one that i had more than a passing interaction with, until my friend nic came to the therapeutic community i was living in. and it was such a shock to me to meet someone who was so openly gay and so confident and unashamed? because, to me, i had nothing against gay people, but i just felt like i myself couldn’t be one, there was shame to it somehow (a lot of this is tied into my ptsd, it’s hard to explain without going into all of that which i don’t feel like doing) - and i expected that other gay people would similarly be ashamed, like it was some kind of illness that they couldn’t help and they didn’t choose and that they’d rather be straight if they could. and yeah, so it was a shock meeting nic. but it was life changing, because it gave me room to consider what i had been in denial about for so long - that maybe i was gay too. so i’ll always be so very grateful to nic for being in my life in general, because we went through recovery together, but particularly because she allowed me the opportunity to become my true self, and that has been more liberating than anything.

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self? i guess to not worry, and that things will become clear to her when she’s ready - and to not worry about why she doesn’t find boys attractive and what might be wrong with her, and especially not to do the dangerous and self-destructive things she did (sending nudes to and sexting a boy she had never met, which could have gone horribly fucking wrong - and for all i know he might have shown all of his mates, but this was prior to social media and smart phones so it wouldn’t have been that bad, getting herself into a situation where she was date-raped at a party, trying to organise anonymous sexual meetings with strangers on the internet) to try and FORCE herself to feel attraction to men. and that there’s no shame in being gay.

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders? i’m gay af.

16. who is an ex you regret? ugh i don’t know, like, i have been through some awful shit with some of my exes, but i don’t regret any of them, because they all taught me lessons about life that i took into my next relationship, and into other situations, and i have become a better person as a result - and i have very fond memories with all of them, even if things did go really sour at the end? particularly my last relationship - it was by far the most painful and chaotic relationship i’ve ever been in, towards the end, and i have so many regrets about how things went and how i should have done this, and shouldn’t have done that, but i don’t for a moment regret being with that person, because i loved her so much (and still do) and i have had some of the best experiences of my life with her and wouldn’t trade it for the world. so yeah, i don’t regret any of them.

17. night club gay or cafe gay? both, depends.

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for? ugh you know i feel like i always have an answer prepared for this, until someone actually asks me? i used to say kit harington but now i’m not sure? fuck damn i was literally talking about this with my boss last week, but i can’t remember who it was.

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay? book or movie.

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)? ah i’m not really into the whole ship thing but i guess clarke and lexa because that’s the first one i can think of. OH and i definitely ship daenerys targaryen and asha/yara greyjoy - i know it’s never going to happen but it’s nice to imagine. emilia clarke is my number one celebrity crush - she doesn’t know it yet but she’s gonna marry me.

21. favourite gay youtuber? literally could not give a single fuck about youtubers.

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person? not to my knowledge, like, i have only ever asked out people who i have been talking to on dating apps tbh.

23. have you ever been in love? yeah.

24. have you ever been heartbroken? oh god yes.

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone? honestly i don’t! the only way i can know is if i date them for a little bit? sometimes it’s both and that’s okay too.

26. favourite lgb musician/band? ok so i had to google a list of them to make sure i didn’t miss them. my very favourite is jónsi, cos he’s the lead singer of my favourite band sigur rós. also i love david bowie, and i like sia and beth ditto. also apparently jackie cruz, who plays flaca on oitnb, is also a singer - and bisexual! so that’s exciting. there’s a whole bunch of people on that list who i didn’t know were queer.

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays? take no shit from straight people - live your truth and stand up for yourself. but also, keep yourself safe - this is more important than anything else. lastly, don’t let terfs and racists in the community get into your head - we are a minority, we MUST stand up for other minorities as well. some of us are also trans or people of colour, and we must protect and uplift them. we have to be better.

28. are you out? if so how did you come out? i am completely out now, but it was a process over a couple of years, because it was really fucking hard. i am now openly gay, to the point that i’ll mention it in passing to strangers if it’s relevant, assuming i feel safe to do so. but anyway this is a long story, so settle in.

i never voiced the thought that i might be gay until i was 20, during group at the therapeutic community. i thought i was possibly bisexual for a long time, but in retrospect i think i was trying to compromise with myself, that being bisexual was somehow more acceptable to me than being gay. but yeah, so after that i didn’t tell anyone again until i was nearly 21, when i was having dinner with my best friend sarah and another good friend from high school, heather. i remember it vividly, because heather said about how she’d been in a relationship with a girl while she was on study exchange in scotland. i got up abruptly from the table, went to the bathroom, nearly threw up, and then came back, and they both asked me if i was okay, and i said that i might be gay. it was really scary because at the time sarah was studying to be an officer in the salvation army and i was scared that she would no longer want to be friends with me, but of course she is a perfect angel and it was no problem at all. after that i went on a date with a girl while i was living by myself in napier, and then i freaked out and ghosted her, which i feel bad about. i was also out to my friend mixx, who i met on tumblr that year. and after that, i didn’t come out to anyone else until i was nearly 23. i had moved down to wellington to start university, and i had to do summer school for six weeks to do a refresher music theory course, so i was sleeping on my sister’s couch for six weeks. i hung out with her friends a lot, including her flatmate (her ex boyfriend who was now her best friend, who had come out as gay), and one night i was sitting out having a cigarette with his boyfriend, and i just told him i was gay, and that i was scared to come out, and asked him not to tell my sister. and then a few days later i was in the car with my sister and i just kind of blurted it out, and she was like, “mate, i’ve known that for years,” and i was kind of offended because i thought i had been really good at hiding it and that she assumed i was gay because i hadn’t had a boyfriend like maybe i just didn’t want one? haha but it was fine. and then a week or so later we went up to hawkes bay to visit my parents, cos jen had to take her car up there so dad could sell it for her, and i told my parents while we were eating chinese food, again spur of the moment, and my dad was unfazed but my mum kind of freaked out a bit, i remember her dropping her fork and there was fried rice all over the floor. and she rang her best friend crying, and the friend was like, “oh man, i thought you saw this coming, i sure did.” like, she wasn’t upset that i was gay, just that she hadn’t known, and apparently everyone else she knew had. and i think she did struggle with my being gay to begin with, it took her a long time to adjust, but she seems to be okay now. and then i didn’t bother coming out to anyone else, i just let the grapevine do the trick/liked lgbt pages on facebook and posted photos of myself with girls. but apparently my extended family didn’t figure it out and it all came out when we were all at my cousin’s 21st about six months later, but everyone was chill and unsurprised about it. and since then i have been very open about it, because, like, i had been in recovery for years, but i had been really stagnant, and coming out was the catalyst i needed to truly become well. i mean, i nearly died later that year cos i had a really bad psychotic episode and tried to kill myself. and i had another bad episode two years later, but that was related to ptsd. so neither of those was related to my sexuality, and i do honestly think that being out for me is a protective factor - i don’t have the added complication of trying to hard part of myself while also grappling with illness, so i have been able to recover faster? i don’t know. anyway that’s such a long wall of text i’m so sorry kudos to anyone who read it.

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have? ugh honestly most of the experiences i have had have been positive or at least neutral. i know one of my aunts doesn’t approve - she’s a hardcore salvation army person, threw a massive tantrum when my parents let me read harry potter as a kid - which is hypocritical as fuck because when my (male) cousin came out she sent him a text saying that she still loved him and was proud of him, but she has never said a word to me about my being gay. although she still treats me the same as she always has so i guess it could be worse, i just have very little patience for her in general.

but probably the worst experience i have had was when i was 23, newly out to my family, had just moved into a hall of residence, and was scared about making friends because i had been pretty much out of society for five years - three years in hospital/residential and then two years of living first by myself and then with my parents, working at a supermarket and with only one friend. so i was scared, i was still forming my identity as a lesbian. anyway, a group of girls who lived on my floor decided to adopt me, and i hung out with them for a few days and it was really nice. i went to an o-week party with them, and on the way back to the hall they decided it would be hilarious to go to a strip club (they were all 18 or 19 so y’know). i went in but i wasn’t really feeling it - i’m not really a fan of strip clubs and i didn’t have any money to give the dancers but i didn’t want to be in there NOT giving them money. one of the other girls looked visibly uncomfortable so i asked her if she wanted to go and wait outside until the others were ready to leave. we were chatting, and she was like, “yeah, i just feel uncomfortable being in the presence of naked women,” and i was like, “fair enough, i don’t mind cos i’m gay, but i don’t really like strip clubs.” after that she turned really frosty but i didn’t think anything of it until they all snobbed me at breakfast the next morning - turns out this girl goes to one of those evangelical megachurches who think that being gay can be “cured”, and she told the others that she didn’t want me hanging out with them anymore. think she might have made some shit up about me to make them not like me either, lovely thing to do. it didn’t matter because i made other friends in the hall, including probably the only two other lesbians living there, but it still hurt. but the funny thing about it is this homophobic girl was my next door neighbour, and i knew it made her uncomfortable whenever she ran into me in the hallway - and i made a point to occasionally take girls home and have very loud sex with them, knowing she’d be able to hear hahahahahaha.

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality? just do what you gotta do to survive - you’re no less queer if you can’t be out. find someone you trust that you can talk to, so that you’re not alone. it won’t always be like this - one day you’ll be able to live your truth. just keep holding on.

#question thingy #lottieface

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