#I have like 20 free love passes saved up

[chrollogy]

look who came home 🫶🏼✨

[theastrical]

withering with you (retired genshin men AU)

Genshin men headcannon where they are spending their retirement and old age with you

Kaeya, diluc, childe, alhaitham x fem!reader

a bit angsty yet also fluffy!! hurt/comfort.

Kaeya:

he had retired a few years ago at the age of 65, he retired a bit late than his other comrades due to him enjoying his job as much as how his younger self would. Leaving the job was rather..emotional for him, because his job lead him to meet you, his wife.

Even after years, the knights still give him his monthly pay check to ensure his future and that pay check was used by kaeya to take you out to a romantic dinner. Every single month, in one particular evening, he would asked you to dress up and drive you around the city before taking you out to an expensive dinner.

Would help you walk since your legs aren’t as strong as it used to be. Lending his arm to let you hold into cause he doesn’t want you to fall.

He needs you 24/7. He can barely use a phone and would asked you to set up the brightness to dim, how to save contacts, and how to chat his grandchildren.

Would cook you food everyday, breakfast? He’ll serve it on the bed, with his signature smiley face with ketchup. lunch? Whatever you want, he’ll make it (or if it’s too hard, he’ll buy it). Dinner? You’ll get full course meal. Quality time for him means seeing you enjoy his food and his company.

Would nag you to get a check up every month with him, because he prioritise your health the most and he will carry you if you’re being whiny. The dedication is surreal.

Has an investment for a couple graveyard so when you both have finally passed away, both of you would get to be buried with each other. Because he doesn’t want to burden his children to think about their funeral and burial, he wants his and your death to be prepared since the very beginning.

His favorite activity is walking around the street with you and teases some children in the garden about monsters, until today he loves scaring children. Yes he also loves to scare your grandchildren because he loves to make

Bought couple clothes for you and him…wear it in every single place since he barely change his clothes (he forgets he had used it for 4 days straight. Somehow it smells like his rose shampoo.

Diluc:

As soon as he retired he takes you out to a vacation. What is the definition of his vacation? Eat free breakfast in the hotel, look around the hotel, sleep, eat the street food, look around the local stores, look around some art gallery, go back to hotel, take a bath, dinner date, sleep. It’s boring, but he would take you out to some pretty dinner in the local area so you can taste the real deal!

you’re his walking reminder, since he can get lost just by walking beside you, that’s why when he walks too fast while you both stroll by the street, you have to immediately tug on him. “Diluc…if you stray, you won’t be able to come home..the hotel key is with me..”

also he’s really mesmerized by bath bombs, he collects every scents the salesman offer (he’s easily persuaded by the salesman). Now, he had bought around 20 of it. You have been stressing about the spending…sometimes he helps you bathe with the relaxing bath bombs since you’ve always been the one to take care of the finance and house problems. Obviously, it stresses you out even more knowing Diluc’s excuses to buy these bath bombs are also because he wants you to be more relaxed.

Gets more emotional these days, he eats the breakfast you made and cried. “One day i won’t eat your grilled sausage again..” he cried silently and wiped it, you were confused instead of worried but you still hugged him from behind to at least make his heart steady… Afterwards, he just ate it again as if there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s a weirdo.

gets more clingy, especially when he sleeps, he would hug you unconsciously and squish you. he might be old and grey, yet his power is still the same as the young him

he loves quality time, he would follow you around everywhere. if you plant flowers, he would be the one to wipe your sweat. if you cook lunch, he would be the one to cut the veggies or meat. if you're doing your makeup, he'll be the one to offer you his face as your lipstick test.

he hates outdoor activity, he just wanted to stay at home and cling to you like a koala as he gossips about kaeya.

childe:

in the night of his retirement, he held a huge party. he's old enough to be a grandpa yet he celebrates his retirement by drinking and playing cards. you can only watch from afar, staring at him menacingly before he gets scared by your anger and immediately stops the party. the house was a mess. a wreckage. "I'm sorry...ill treat you to a-" "no." "but honeeeyyyyyyyyyyyy"

becomes even more whiny. he had always been bad with managing the household money even as he reach retirement, you're the one in charge of his money. when he want something, he has to get your approval and if he's persistent he'll start to persuade you using his clingy self.

he gets easily bored, that's why retirement means going out daily. he'll wake you up at 7am just to accompany him run a marathon in a 5-celsius degree weather.

would tease you just so he can laugh at you for being silly. at some point he pulls up a prank that makes you cry, he immediately kneels down to apologise but ends up injuring his knee, ah yes, his legs are already stiff, he forgets he's an old man by now.

his new hobby? farming. even with the sharp weather and uneasy condition, he continues his hobby diligently, he plants your favorite veggies and fruits, making sure the quality of the food is guaranteed.

As he grew older you realise he also gets even more jealous, sometimes when you were just talking to the butler in the house, he would immediately scoffs and hold your hand, as if he guards you from being stolen by that butler (he hates handsome man because he wants him to be the only man for you).

He snores so loudly, it gets even louder as he ages, and somehow you can still sleep so peacefully. He’s a deep sleeper and you’re a dead sleeper, somebody who can’t be budge while sleeping…you both are perfect for each other indeed.

Alhaitham:

He retired quietly, he didn’t want to make a fuss about his retirement, after all his health was slowly declining and his line of work needs his survival instincts, hence he decided to stay at home and enjoy his pensions.

To make sure he didn’t lose his mind, he bought a gaming station. He was used to his work in the academia that he forgot how to relax his mind at least a bit, so he played some online games with you (even when you can barely play the game since he’s already a pro by days, he helped you and carried you so you both can play in the same level)

He tried doing meditation, he sucks at it because he kept getting interrupted by your humming while watering the garden, he wanted to tell you to be quiet but deep down…he enjoyed it, it makes him feel fuzzy.

He kept on persuading you to have a pet…”we’re both already old and aging, let’s have a pet together…at least for once in our life, please..?” He asked politely, too polite it makes you get in the mood to accept his persuasion.

Nevermind. You’re trapped into his fantasy of getting a pet. You were dragged to a pet store and alhaitham immediately shows you a huge golden retriever that wags it’s tails so energetically with it’s lovely eyes. how can you not melt from that sight..? Now that golden retriever is now alhaitham and yours best buddy.

He abandon his game station to play with the dog everyday, he even teaches the dog to send you his artificial flower he made secretly because he can’t never give it to you face to face since he’s too prideful and embarrassed.

If the dog disobeyed you he would scold it, because all he does to the dog is teaching him tricks to please you. Yes he secretly does this since he’s too shy to convey his “thanks” for you after looking out for him day by day.

You guys will have a date where he takes the dog out for a walk as his other hand held your hand tightly. You guys will just enjoy the sunset as you rant out about your day to him even when you both are mostly together everyday since the day he retired.

[strawbeerossi]

Grading Papers

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: You are Dr. Reid’s TA. One night, he asks you to stay late and help grade papers, only to see you worked up. It’s a good thing he has the perfect solution for that.

Content/Warnings: Power imbalance, age gap (20s/40s), sexual tension, thigh riding, praise.

Word Count: 1.2K

Kinktober Day Twelve: Thigh Riding

Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3

Whenever Dr. Reid had approached you about staying a little later after your class to assist him in grading papers, you reluctantly agreed. It wasn’t like you were uncomfortable with him, in fact it was the complete opposite. Ever since you’d been placed as a TA for his class, you had a massive crush on the older man. Every person in your class did, honestly. There was a reason he had the most students auditing his classes, he was very attractive and his dumbfounded reaction to learning so many students used the class just to look at him just added to his charming demeanor.

He was an understanding man, always willing to listen and work with any student who needed his assistance. It didn’t help that he had a million dollar smile, one that made your heart flutter when it was flashed in your direction. You were in love with a man who was surely old enough to be your father.. Yet you felt no shame.

You’d had vivid fantasies, ones where Spencer would call you in his office and push you against the wall, taking you right there while proclaiming how he’d had his eye on you since he met you. 

You could admit you were a little delusional but nobody could blame you. Who doesn’t want professor Reid to bend them over his desk and-

You were cut off by a throat clear, making you snap out of your thoughts. “It’s good to see you, thank you for coming by. I appreciate you coming to assist me tonight.” He could’ve done it by himself, in all honesty. The papers were quick and easy to blow through, especially with the ability that Spencer had when it came to reading. Instead, he’d invited you here for something else..

“Oh, it was no problem. I didn’t have much else that needed to get done and it is my job to help you when you need it.” You spoke while offering a smile, discarding your backpack before putting it on the floor by his desk. “I’m so glad to hear that. I went ahead and split up the assignments equally.” He assured while passing over a stack of typed up research papers. “I have a chair over here that you can take. My desk is big enough to fit both of us.” He chuckled and gestured to the chair pulled up beside him.

The idea of being so close to Spencer had your cheeks heating up, head nodding as you approached his side and pulled out the chair to seat yourself. It was like you were a horny teenager who was getting worked up just by having your knee touch his, the warmth of your body and the tension bubbling over. “You alright?” Spencer soon asked, an eyebrow raising at how fidgety you were. He was a profiler and you knew that, you’d learned he could see all the tells and read you like a book if he really wanted to. Still, you lied. “Oh! I think I’m just a little scatterbrained tonight.” You tried to save yourself the embarrassment of telling the older man your perverted and sinful thoughts. 

There was a huff that fell from Spencer’s lips, his hands coming out to gently grab your hips before tugging you into his lap. The sudden action had your eyes widening, propped up in the male’s lap as you quickly turned your head to look at him. “Dr. Reid!” Your voice came out in a squeak, making the man shrug his shoulders nonchalantly. “You’re free to get up but given your body language, I can tell this is much more than being scatterbrained. Believe me, I know the signs of someone being turned on. As much as most won’t believe it, I’ve been around enough women to know the signs.”

He was chuckling as he brushed your hair off of your shoulder when you made no effort to move. “I have an offer to make. Don’t worry, you won’t be penalized for saying no, I’ll just back off.” He had to preface his point of not wanting to push things too far beyond your comfort zone. The idea was crazy, the man could lose his license to teach and be blacklisted from teaching. However, you felt just a little desperate. That was what made you nod your head slowly. “Y-yeah, okay.”

His large hands were resting against your hips while helping you stand, his hands moving to your pants to get them unbuttoned and tugged down your legs. “You seem so desperate. I bet you think about this a lot more than you’re letting on.” His tone was like velvet, his gaze on the panties that hugged your waist. 

“How desperate are you though?” The question made you shiver as his hands were ever so gently lifting you up before perching you on his thigh with a soft smirk. This was him expecting you to crumble, to melt while rubbing yourself on his thigh..

You fed right into it, hips rocking steadily against the clothed thigh. The friction of the creases in his slacks against your clothed clit had electricity shooting through your body, mouth agape. “There we go. Does that feel good? Desperate little bunny.” He cooed, his hands guiding your hips as he was fixing the position of his thigh and pushing it up to apply pressure to your needy pussy. “Surprised you’ve lasted this long. You know, you aren’t exactly subtle with the way you look at me.” 

Your face was heating up as he’d caught you, calling you out on your shameless fantasizing whenever you thought he wasn’t paying attention. “You’re so precious.” He began while chuckling softly, his words making your hips speed up on his thigh as you were rubbing your cunt along the creases of his pants, the delicious friction making you roughly grip his thigh.

“Gonna cum on my thigh and soak your panties with your cum?” He questioned, lips now pressing kisses along your shoulder. “Fuck, yes.” You whined, the slick arousal from your panties already seeping through and causing a small wet patch on his right thigh. “Well, what are you waiting for? These papers aren’t gonna grade themselves.” He mused, words dripping with amusement at you, one of his best TAs, left to a whining and whimpering mess while your desperation had you humping his thigh for relief.

The warmth spread over your body, a thin veil of sweat decorating your forehead as you let your head tilt forward, mouth agape while ragged breaths escaped your lips. The rush of arousal shot through your body, nails digging into the part of his thigh that you held as you were hitting your peak, a whine leaving your lips as you could feel the slick seep through your panties, leaving you with uncomfortably wet panties. 

“There we go!” He cooed, gently rubbing your lower back as he was letting your shaking body lean back against his broad chest. “You can sit there as long as you want,” He commented with a chuckle as he was scooting his chair up to the desk while he was getting a few papers from his desk to read them.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

The idea of finding a lump in your breast is scary. If this ever happens to you, you may panic and think about cancer - so let’s talk about what to do if this happens. 

It may feel like a hard irregular mass. Or you may feel like there’s a pea or a marble under your skin. Or maybe one area of your breast feels thickened (or just different) from the rest of it. Maybe it isn’t directly a lump but you feel like one breast, or a part of it, changed in size or color, looks dented or looks red/inflamed… in any of these cases, the first step you wanna take is a no-brainer:

You call your doctor, tell them what’s up and ask for an appointment. (This should ideally be a gynecologist, because they’re the experts on breast cancer. But if it’s difficult to get an appointment there or you feel more comfortable going to your primary care doctor, you may also call them first. They will send you on to a gynecologist if they consider it necessary.) 

The most important second step is: calm down. 

At first glance “calm down” may seem like bad advice here. Fear can be a helpful emotion because it motivates you to do the right thing in potential dangerous situations, and worrying about cancer when you find a lump in your breast is a good example for that - you need to worry about it, so you’ll take it seriously and get it checked out! An early diagnosis and quick treatment can save lives. 

But after you already took the right step and called your doctor, when all that’s left to do is waiting for your appointment, panicking is no longer helpful. The best thing you can do now is trying to stay calm and optimistic. Some facts that may help: 

If you are below 40, and especially if you are below 30, remember that breast cancer is considered possible but rare in your age group. (Important: this is not a free pass to just ignore breast changes! Get them checked out anyway! But it can be comforting to know that it’s not statistically likely that you’ll get a cancer diagnosis when getting them checked out.)

Regardless of age, even if you are above 40, know that there are plenty of other, more harmless explanations for breast changes, including lumps. Again, this doesn’t mean “don’t take it serious”, but it’s good to keep in mind while waiting for your doctor appointment: it could be something as simple as natural changes in your hormones (for example related to your period or to menopause), it could be a fibroadenoma (a benign lump that is completely harmless but can be surgically removed if it bothers you), it could be a simple cyst, it could be the result of a small injury you don’t even remember happening, it could even be a skin infection … 

About 20% of all lumps turn out to be cancer. That means that the chances are good that your doctors appointment will bring the relieving news that you don’t have it! Don’t think of it as “I definitely have cancer and need to go to the doctor because of that”, but as “I go to the doctor for peace of mind, to confirm that I do not have cancer”. 

Now you may think “But what if I’m in those 20%?”. Well, in that case, it would still be a good thing that you noticed that lump/change and got it checked out - in early stages, breast cancer is often curable with the right treatment! The sooner you get the diagnosis, the quicker you can start lifesaving treatment. If the cancer is caught and treated in an early stage, your survival chance is pretty high. At stage 1 or 2, almost all patients survive (over 90%)! Even at stage 3, more than 70% survive. So even if your lump turns out to be cancerous, it wouldn’t be an automatic death sentence. 

So, to recap: if it ever happens, take it seriously and call your doctor - but stay calm and optimistic while waiting for your appointment. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[izvmimi]

cw: angsty. breakup mention. based on this song.

Everyone wishes they could go back to the beginning of a love affair, and perhaps if you were ever afforded the opportunity, you’d rewind to many years ago, when Suo first smiled at you and asked for your name. Perhaps you would have smiled just as politely and given him an alias or a nickname that wouldn’t grow as familiar as your name did eventually in his mouth, or come up with some sort of false appointment to help you leave the soiree. 

It's not like you could have known.

Your friend had told you he was a good man, and by all intents and purposes, he is one - kind, considerate, devoted to serving the community he’s a part of, perhaps at a time devoted to you - but now you are trying to erase desperately every memory you’ve shared, as if the endless harsh scrubbing of your body touched by him, as if rough fingers on your scalp and searingly hot water will melt every mark of him on your soul. 

This is a no-fault end to a love affair. He assured you it was him, not you, and plus, you both wanted different things, he’d reminded you, holding your fingertips the entire time over the coffee table so you wouldn’t shake or cry in public. You’d nodded, as if in a trance, his lips forming words that you had no choice but to agree with, even if soon you could barely hear what he was saying from the rushing of blood in your ears.

Suo doesn’t want you anymore. Did he ever want you? Did he ever love you? 

No fault. You did nothing wrong, you just grew apart, and adults do not force square pegs into round holes, they let each other be free to explore and be nurtured by the communities they serve and fall in love again, as many times as it takes to find the connection that fits and lasts.

It doesn’t matter how long you scald yourself under hot water, the love won’t fade away.

…

You hear your now ex has left the country from your friends a couple of weeks later, and you’re none the wiser. You don’t stop to think more about why, because you’ve cried enough times that the part of your brain that processes him and his person is now numb, and all you can do is nod, even if people are surprised to know you weren’t aware.

You have no details to share.

It’s not you, it’s him, after all. 

A year passes, and six months prior to this has you trying to date again by incessant coaxing from your friends, but the curse of being dumped with no explanation and the love of your life disappearing without a trace seems too daunting to move past. You call a crush Suo by accident and don’t even realize until he’s frowning at you as he pays the check, and finally you give up, wondering if something about you has been permanently altered.

It’s been a year and radio silence. No social media updates to even stalk (he always thought private life should stay private) and you had too much pride to ask his friends (if even they knew).

Only time would fix this and in your late 20s, you wonder if eventually you’d run out of time. 

…

Suo resurfaces in the middle of the night, dry despite the rain, save for his cloth shoes. He looks like he’s finally come up for air once he’s seen you, and it’s a miracle you’ve even opened the door, but he’s like an apparition, and you need to reach out and touch him.

You haven’t thought about him all week.

Men like him always appear when you’re trying to move on, don’t they?

“I missed you,” is the first thing that comes out of his mouth, and you know he’s telling the truth. You don’t reply, and he doesn’t say anything further, as if he’s waiting for you to slam the door on his face.

You don’t. All you do is say, “It’s not me, it’s you.”

His face turns to steel for a moment, and you can see him turn into the ghost you were expecting for a moment.

He whispers your name and you look down at his feet.

“Take off your shoes. You have exactly ten minutes.”

When your eyes meet his again as you look up, they’re filled to the brim with thankful tears, more emotion than you’ve seen in years.

Indoors, tonight, you’ll decide if there is still a fate that connects you, while the breeze and the moonlight outdoors remains constant.

[amethystarachnid]

BABY LIGHTNING

⤷ THOR ODINSON

ᯓ★ Pairing: Thor Odinson x fem!reader

ᯓ★ Genre: romance, angst, fluff

ᯓ★ Request from: MARVEL bingo

ᯓ★ Story type: one shot

ᯓ★ Word count: 5k

ᯓ★ TW(s): mentions of sex (that’s how babies are made lol), a little himbo Thor, bad nordic mythology I’m sorry,

ᯓ★ Request: Thor & Secret Baby where Thor doesn’t know until a friend of his tells him and wants to be a part of their lives. ( @rihannabale )

ᯓ★ Comment if you want to be added to the taglist (specify if you want the everything taglist or for a specific character)

ᯓ★ Songs & Superheroes tales - The Game (to make a request, follow the rules on the link!)

ᯓ★ MARVEL Bingo (requests open)

ᯓ★ If you are a Charles Xavier lover click on this link!

ᯓ★ English isn’t my first language, feel free to correct me kindly please

You can remember the first time you two met vividly: it happened when the Avengers were formed, you saw him stand next to Fury while you were sitting at your desk, doing your boring job behind a computer.

He was, literally, a God so you didn’t even bother to think that he was going to notice you, but he did.

Your eyes met for the first time and you fell in love with those blue eyes almost instantly, how stupid of you! You are an adult, you shouldn’t fall in love at first sight with a God.

“Who’s that?” Thor asks Fury, his head nodding towards you and you quickly look away.

“Oh that’s Y/N Y/L/N…Anyway…” Fury leads Thor on the other side of the room and it doesn’t really surprise you, instead, you’re surprised that Fury remembers your name.

When your shifts ends you enter the elevator with a tired sigh and as the door close you hear a voice asking you to stop them.

As the doors reopened you see Thor standing just behind them with an awkward smile, “Sorry, I don’t really understand how these things work…” He chuckles and enters the elevator, making you feel small suddenly, and it isn’t just because he’s a God but because he is big, in every direction.

“I-It’s not a problem…” You stutter, then look at him confused when he doesn’t push any button, “Which floor are you headed to?” You ask politely, not knowing how to properly refer to a God.

“Oh I’m leaving.” He simply says.

“Then you need to push the floor zero.” You explain as you push the button.

“Where are you going?” He asks, glancing at the buttons, “Inside Midgard?” You hold back a chuckle at his confused expression when he notices that you are headed to the floor -1.

“It’s the underground parking lot, I have my car there.” You smile, glancing at the screen that tells you which floor you’re currently on: 12 and after a few seconds it becomes 11.

“You humans created a lot of things, they’re cool.” Thor looks around.

You simply smile, not knowing how to answer that.

“So you uh…Work here? With the strange machine?” He asks awkwardly.

You feel your cheeks heat up, “The computer, yes, but it’s a boring job really…Saving the world must be more satisfying.”

“It is, helping people makes you feel good.” He smiles at you and you find yourself thinking how can a man that big and menacingly looking be such a soft and gentle person?

A few more moments pass in silence, as you try to steal glances at him, in doing that you find him doing the same.

“A friend told me that here on Earth when you like a girl you need to ask her on a date…” Thor starts when the elevator is at the fourth floor. “So, forgive me if I’m too straight forward, but would you like to go on a date with me?”

Your eyes widen at his words, a God is asking you out? Thor, God of Thunder, is asking you out?

“Yes!” You immediately, even though it probably makes you sound impatient. You couldn’t care less.

After that everything started moving forward quickly, super quickly.

In a month you have you have gone on more than 20 dates and you have lost count of all the sex you two had.

At first he stayed at the Stark Tower when he was on Earth but soon your apartment became his too.

You had never moved so quickly with a man, you have always been careful, but with Thor everything came naturally.

In a month you were completely in love with him and he seemed in love with you too, always bringing you flowers and jewels from Asgard.

“Why don’t you come and live at Asgard with me?” He suddenly asks one night, with you cuddled up by his side after yet another incredible night together.

“On Asgard? But I know nothing about it.” You answer, moving your fingertips over his toned torso.

“I will teach you everything you need to know.” He says, kissing the top of your head. “Sooner or later I’ll be King…And I want you to be my Queen.”

At his words you look at him shocked, “Me? A human becoming the Queen of Asgard, your people would hate me.”

“They will not.” He cups your cheek in his hand, caressing the soft skin with his thumb, “They don’t choose their Queen, I do, and I choose you.”

“Thor that’s…You’re asking me a lot.” You look away, the rational part of you is screaming at you that even just thinking about that is stupid.

But the bigger part of you, the once filled only with love for him, is telling you to screw everything and go with him.

“I know, but I’ll be with you every step of the way.” He smiles gently at you, “Be my Queen, Y/N, let me be your King.”

You look into his eyes and the only thing you see is pure adoration for you.

“Okay, I’ll come to Asgard.” You smile and he kisses your lips gently.

“I’ll make you the most loved and worshipped Queen Asgard has ever seen.” He lays you down on the bed while peppering your face with soft kisses.

“Thor we just stopped.” You chuckle.

“But we should celebrate, don’t you think?” He kisses your neck, “I have one last mission to go on, after that I’ll come to you and bring you to Asgard, my Queen.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

Three days later Thor leaves you to go on a mission to save the world, fighting who knows what type of aliens and bad people.

A week after he still hasn’t returned, but you know that missions can be unpredictable so you don’t worry too much.

You patiently wait for him to come home so you can show him the positive pregnancy test, you chuckle when you think about how confused he will be at first.

Another week pass, then another.

Then it’s a month.

Then another.

Soon your belly is too swollen to hide, you go in maternity leave, focusing on taking care of the little girl in your belly.

You have lost all hope that Thor would come back, he probably knew this since that night.

He knew he was going to leave you, you’re sure of it.

So now you have a baby girl to raise alone, sure, you thought about abortion but you simply couldn’t.

You loved Thor even though he probably didn’t love you back, and the little girl was a part of him too.

That’s why you named her Andora, according to Google it meant Thor’s Eagle.

That’s why you always read her stories about the Nordic Mythology, you wanted her to know her father even though he didn’t know about her.

What you didn’t expect was for her to have powers, you should’ve expected that — her father could control lighting after all.

Having a newborn who can control water but doesn’t know how to control it is a mess.

But you may know who can help you.

Two years later

“Stark! My friend, how have you been?” Thor asks as he enters the living room of the Stark Tower, where Tony is sitting, drinking whiskey.

“Look who shows his face around from time to time!” Tony chuckles, glancing up and down at Thor.

“How long has it been since I came here? One year and half I believe.”

“Yeah, while you were out on the galaxy we fought aliens again, why didn’t you come back? We could’ve used some help.”

“I came back…Like a year and a half ago, I went to see Fury, we had a little chat and…I didn’t find any other reason to come back after that.” Thor looks away.

“What do you mean?” Tony walks towards him confused.

“He told me that Y/N died during the alien attack.” Tony chokes on his whiskey as he looks at him, “She was the love of my life, why should I protect a planet that doesn’t have her in it?”

“Thor.” Tony places and hand on Thor’s shoulder, “Y/N is alive and well.”

“Don’t joke on this, Tony.” Thor brushes his hand off.

“I’m not joking, listen.” Tony places the glass on the table “I don’t know why Fury lied to you but Y/N is alive and living on the floor just above us.”

“What?”

“Two years ago she came to me asking for help with her daughter, who could control water.”

“Daughter?” Thor’s head is spinning.

“That little girl is the spitting image of you, man, if I were Y/N I’d sue you and the baby girl.” Tony shakes his head, but before he can add anything else Thor is already running on the upper floor.

Why did Fury lie to him? Why didn't you search for him?

He knock on the door of one of the apartments on the floor.

"Coming!" Oh, your voice is the same sweet melody he remembers. He hears giggles from behind the door and then you open the door.

Your smile immediately fades as you see the man standing right outside your door.

You knew that living in the Stark Tower meant that you were going to meet him sooner or later but it's been one year and half since you moved here and he never showed up.

"Oh, Y/N you are as beautiful as I the day I last saw you, you haven't aged a bit." He looks at you with a smile, sure, your body has changed a little - you gained some weight because of the pregnancy - but you're still the woman he loves.

He tries to wrap his arms around you and hug you but you push him away.

"What do you think you're doing?" You ask, your hands on his pecks as you push him away. "You disappeared for two years now you suddenly come back and act all friendly?"

"Y/N, my love, I'm so sorry but I did come back! Fury told me you were killed in the alien attack." He looks at you with his sad puppy eyes, the same eyes you loved.

The same eyes as your daughter's.

"Why would he tell you that?" You ask skeptical.

"I don't know, but believe me when I tell you I was completely destroyed by that." He takes your hands in his, "So I decided to never come back on Midgard because you were the only reason I kept coming back...If only I knew that you were alive and carrying my daughter I would've never, ever, left." He gently kisses the back of your hand.

"Who told you about her?" You ask, not having the heart to move your hand away from his hold.

"Tony did, five minutes ago." Thor glances behind you, "Can I see her?"

You look at his waiting eyes, trying to decide whether you should let him meet Andora or not.

But from the look in his eyes you can tell that he already loves her, you nod and move to make him enter.

"Andora! Come here, baby." You gently call for her, you can see Thor's eyes widening more as he hear the name.

"You called her Andora?" He repeats in a whisper, "Does...Does she know who I am?"

You nod, "I told her stories about you and told her that her daddy was on a long mission saving the galaxy but that he would come back eventually...I didn't know if you'd actually come back but it was easier to let her believe that way."

"Mommy!" You hear a small voice call for you, followed by small but quick footsteps.

Once he sees her Thor can't help but agree with Tony, that little girl looks just like him: blonde hair, blue eyes, same lips and she's slightly taller than average.

Andora stops as she sees the man standing next to you, then smiles and runs towards him.

"Daddy back!" She says happily, Thor picks her up and holds her against his chest.

"Yeah, daddy's back." He says gently, caressing her head as she wraps her legs around his waist.

You can't hold back the smile that forms on your face in seeing the two of them finally together, you wouldn't admit it but you hoped this day would come, letting your baby girl meet her dad.

The hours slip by since Thor walked back into your life.

Now, you're sitting in the living room, the low hum of the city outside barely a distraction from the tension between you and Thor. He sits across the room, his large frame somehow hunched, shoulders heavy with guilt. Andora is in his lap, babbling happily, her tiny fingers gripping a strand of his golden hair.

“Daddy! You have long hair! Mommy cuts mine. Maybe I cut yours?” she says, her words coming out in the sweet, muddled way toddlers speak.

Thor chuckles softly, a sound you haven't heard in so long. “Maybe not, little one. But I’m glad you like it.”

You watch them from the couch, arms crossed tightly over your chest, unsure of what to do with this scene. It’s surreal, seeing them together. Andora has taken to him faster than you thought, almost like she always knew he was meant to be here. After all the stories you’ve told her, the drawings you showed her, it’s as if she’s just meeting a long-lost friend.

But for you? This feels… complicated.

“Thor,” you say, breaking the relative silence. He looks up at you, eyes still soft with wonder as he holds his daughter. “Can we talk?”

He nods, and carefully lifts Andora off his lap, setting her down on the floor with her toys. “Why don’t you play with your dolls for a little while?” he suggests, ruffling her hair.

“’Kay!” she chirps, already distracted by her stuffed animals.

You watch her for a moment before turning your gaze back to Thor, your heart heavy. “This doesn’t change anything, you know.”

He looks at you with a mix of pain and hope. “I know,” he says quietly. “But I’m here now, Y/N. I’m not going to walk away again.”

Your fingers clench, tension rising in your chest. “You did walk away, though. You left. I needed you. She needed you.”

Thor’s expression crumbles a bit as you speak, and for a moment, the god of thunder looks as vulnerable as anyone else. “I thought you were dead, Y/N. Fury told me… he told me you were gone. I had no reason to come back.”

“And you didn’t question it?” Your voice trembles with the frustration you’ve been holding in for two years. “You didn’t try to find out more, to… I don’t know, feel something?”

He shakes his head, his blue eyes pleading for you to understand. “I was devastated. Losing you, believing I lost you, was unbearable. I didn’t have it in me to question anything. I…” He pauses, his hands tightening into fists. “I left because I couldn’t face a world without you.”

You close your eyes, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill. “You left me, Thor. You left us.”

There’s a silence that stretches between you, heavy and sharp. You feel him watching you, and it’s clear that this isn’t easy for him. But it wasn’t easy for you either. Raising Andora alone, carrying the weight of his absence… You’ve been strong for so long, but now, faced with him again, all of it is unraveling.

“I know I failed you,” Thor says softly, his voice thick with regret. “I failed you both. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but please… let me try to make it right. Let me be a father to her.”

His words hit you hard, and you glance over at Andora, who is now giggling softly as she talks to her toys. She’s only two, but she’s smart, more perceptive than you’d expect for her age. And she’s already fallen for Thor, without hesitation.

“Mommy?” Andora calls out, looking up at you with her wide, curious eyes. “Daddy stay? He read me stories?”

You swallow, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. She’s been asking for a real bedtime story from Thor since the moment she realized he was her father. And now she looks at you, her little face full of hope, so much like his.

“Maybe just one,” you finally say, your voice softer than before. You feel your resolve crumbling, just a little.

Thor smiles, his eyes glinting with gratitude as he stands up. “One story, then,” he says gently, moving over to where Andora sits. He lifts her into his arms with such care, holding her like she’s the most precious thing in the world. And to him, she probably is.

You follow them down the hall to Andora’s room, leaning against the doorframe as Thor settles into a chair, Andora perched on his knee, listening intently as he begins to tell her one of the stories you’ve read to her countless times. But this time, it’s different.

This time, it’s coming from him.

“Once, in the great kingdom of Asgard,” Thor begins, his deep voice soft but powerful, drawing Andora in completely. Her tiny hands clutch his arm, her blue eyes—so much like his—wide with fascination. You can’t help but watch, your heart torn between the pain of the past and the warmth of seeing them together now.

As the story goes on, Andora starts to yawn, her eyelids growing heavy. Thor’s voice quiets, and he gently places her down in her bed, tucking her in with a tenderness that surprises you. He brushes a kiss to her forehead, whispering something you can’t hear.

When he stands up, he glances at you, and for the first time tonight, you don’t feel the anger burning as fiercely inside you. You’re still hurt, still unsure if you can trust him. But you can see the love in his eyes—for Andora, for you—and maybe, just maybe, it’s enough to give him a chance.

“We’ll see,” you whisper, your voice steady this time, as you meet his gaze. “But it’s going to take time.”

Three Months Later

Thor stands on the balcony of Stark Tower, watching the city lights flicker like stars beneath him. The wind whips through his long hair, but his mind is far from the bustling streets below. He’s thinking about you—how much has changed in these past three months and how much still hasn’t.

You’ve let him be part of Andora’s life, and for that, he’s grateful beyond measure. He never tires of spending time with his daughter, watching her discover the world around her, a world she’s already learning to shape in ways neither of you expected. The first time she summoned water from the sink to swirl around her tiny hand, she had giggled, thinking it was a game. But Thor knew what it meant—Andora had inherited powers, like him, but tied to water.

It was a gift, one that both scared and amazed you. You’ve been trying to help her control it, and Thor has been there every step of the way, guiding her when she calls the rain or forms droplets into little shapes to show you. He loves seeing the pride in her eyes when she succeeds, and the way she lights up when she knows her father is proud too.

But his heart aches for more.

He knows you still hold back, keeping a wall up between the two of you. The pain from his disappearance lingers, even though you’ve allowed him back into Andora’s life. You’re kind, even friendly sometimes, but you’re cautious, and he understands why. Thor wants to fix it—no, needs to fix it—but he isn’t sure how.

That’s where Tony Stark comes in.

“You’ve got that brooding god face again, Blondie,” Tony’s voice breaks through Thor’s thoughts, pulling him back to the present. He turns to see Tony stepping onto the balcony, a glass of whiskey in one hand and his signature smirk in place.

Thor sighs, leaning against the railing. “It is not so simple, Stark.”

Tony takes a sip, then looks at Thor with a raised eyebrow. “Let me guess. You’re thinking about Y/N.”

Thor grunts in agreement, his gaze shifting back to the city. “She has allowed me to be part of Andora’s life. But with her… things are still… strained. I fear I’ve lost her.”

Tony lets out a short laugh, shaking his head. “You haven’t lost her. She’s just… you know, dealing with the whole ‘you thought she was dead’ thing. Which, if I’m being honest, is a pretty big hurdle to get over.”

Thor doesn’t argue. He knows Tony is right. Still, there’s a flicker of hope deep inside him, and he refuses to give up on the love he once had with you.

“I want to make things right,” Thor says, his voice low. “But I do not know how to win her heart again.”

Tony taps his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “You’re asking for my help? You want the great Tony Stark to play matchmaker?”

Thor rolls his eyes. “I seek your advice, not your… matchmaking skills.”

Tony grins, leaning against the balcony next to Thor. “Well, lucky for you, I happen to be an expert in charming the ladies.”

“I believe Pepper might disagree.”

Tony waves his hand dismissively. “Details, details. What I’m saying is, Y/N doesn’t need some grand gesture or heroic display. She’s already seen you in battle, she knows you’re a god. What she needs is to see that you care about the little things—the human stuff.”

Thor frowns. “The… human stuff?”

“Yeah, you know, things that show her you’re paying attention to her, not just showing off your lightning powers.” Tony pauses, then his face lights up. “Start small. Do things that’ll make her day easier. Watch Andora when she’s busy, cook a meal. And for God’s sake, talk to her. Like, really talk.”

Thor considers this for a moment, his brow furrowed in thought. He’s always been a man of action, of grand gestures and battles fought. But this—what Tony is suggesting—seems almost… simple. And yet, maybe that’s what you need.

“Show her you’re here for the long haul,” Tony adds, clapping Thor on the shoulder. “You’re not the guy who left. You’re the guy who’s staying. You want her to fall in love with that version of you.”

Thor looks at Tony, a spark of determination flickering in his chest. “I will try your way, Stark. But if this fails—”

“If this fails,” Tony interrupts, “then we’ll regroup and come up with Plan B. But trust me, this is a good start.”

With renewed resolve, Thor nods, already imagining what small things he could do for you. He’s going to show you, step by step, that he’s different now. That he’s staying. He watches Tony head back inside, his mind racing with possibilities.

Suddenly, a small splash of water hits his foot. He looks down to see Andora toddling over, a grin on her face as she holds her hand up, a little ball of water swirling around her fingers.

“Daddy! Look!” she squeals, the ball of water growing a little larger before she accidentally loses control of it, splashing them both.

Thor laughs, scooping her up into his arms. “Very impressive, little one.”

“Mommy says I gotta practice,” she babbles, resting her head against his shoulder. “I gonna make a big water dragon someday!”

Thor smiles, holding her close. “I’m sure you will. But for now, perhaps we keep the dragons small.”

Andora giggles, and Thor can’t help but feel a surge of love for the little girl in his arms.

He glances toward the living room, where you’re sitting, unaware of the plan forming in his mind. It’s time for him to win back your heart, not as the god of thunder, but as the man who loves you. The man who’s staying.

Time skip

You never thought you'd see Thor again, much less have him back in your life, trying so hard to be part of it. At first, you were cautious, walls built high around your heart to protect yourself from the hurt he caused when he left. But he’s been… different since he came back. Patient, steady, and genuinely trying to make amends.

At first, it was little things. He’d take over watching Andora when you were swamped with work or needed a break. You’d find him and your daughter sitting at the kitchen table, her face lit up with glee as he conjured tiny rainstorms to entertain her. Once, you walked in to find him brushing Andora’s hair and telling her stories about his adventures in Asgard, his deep voice soothing as she giggled at the funny parts.

It warmed your heart, even though you resisted. You couldn’t let yourself fall for him again so easily, no matter how much seeing him with Andora softened you.

Then, there were the moments that took you by surprise. One evening, after a particularly rough day, you came home to find dinner already prepared. Thor stood in the kitchen, awkwardly stirring a pot of stew. It wasn’t perfect—he had clearly overcooked it, and there was a mess of flour and spices all over the counter—but it was the thought that floored you.

“You made this?” you asked, half-amused, half-shocked.

He looked at you sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. “I wanted to help. You’ve done so much already. I thought I could… make things a little easier.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you sat down at the table, watching him try so hard to do something that came so naturally to you. It was messy, imperfect, and yet… it was endearing. You didn’t say much that night, but something inside you softened.

Then there was the day Andora first lost control of her water powers in a big way. She had been excited, showing you how she could make water rise from her cup, but it spiraled out of control quickly. Water splashed across the floor, soaking the both of you. You were already tired and overwhelmed, and the last thing you needed was another mess to clean up.

Before you could even react, Thor swooped in, kneeling beside Andora with a gentle smile. “It’s alright, little one,” he said softly, as Andora’s lip quivered. “We’ll clean it up together. You’re doing so well.”

He didn’t reprimand her, didn’t get frustrated. He just helped her calm down, his presence soothing her like magic. And then, he cleaned up the mess himself, all while making sure Andora felt safe and proud of what she could do.

You watched him with your daughter, feeling that wall around your heart crack a little more.

Little by little, Thor chipped away at the barriers you’d built between you. He never pushed, never demanded your forgiveness, but he was always there—steady, dependable, the man you’d fallen in love with so long ago.

There were nights when you’d sit together on the balcony after Andora went to bed, the city lights stretching out before you. Sometimes, neither of you said a word. Other times, he’d tell you about his travels across the realms, how he had thought of you every day, and how lost he felt when he believed you were gone. He didn’t ask for anything in return—just your company. And slowly, you found yourself wanting to be there with him.

One evening, after Andora had fallen asleep in Thor’s lap, her little hand clutching his, you couldn’t help but smile. You’d spent the evening together, the three of you, and it had felt… natural. Like a family.

As Thor carried Andora to bed, you watched him tuck her in with such care, brushing a kiss to her forehead before turning to leave her room. When he saw you standing in the doorway, a warm look passed between you, one that made your chest tighten.

Later that night, as you sat beside him on the couch, the quiet between you was comfortable, not strained like it once had been. You turned to him, your heart pounding in your chest. “Thor?”

He looked at you, his eyes soft and filled with that familiar warmth. “Yes, Y/N?”

You took a deep breath, unsure of how to say what had been weighing on you for so long. “I’ve been trying to figure this out… figure us out. And I’ve realized something.”

His expression tensed slightly, as if bracing himself for what you were about to say. “What is it?”

You hesitated, then reached out, your hand finding his. “I don’t want to hold onto the past anymore. I don’t want to keep punishing you—or myself—for what happened. You’ve changed. You’re here. And… I’m ready to try again. If you are.”

The relief that washed over his face was palpable, his grip on your hand tightening. “I never stopped wanting to try, Y/N. I never stopped loving you.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and for the first time in so long, you let yourself truly feel it again—the love you had for him. The love that had been buried under hurt and fear but had never really gone away. You leaned in, resting your forehead against his, the closeness grounding you.

“I love you too,” you whispered, the words freeing in a way you hadn’t expected.

Thor closed his eyes, his breath shuddering as if he had been holding it for years. And when his lips met yours, it was gentle, almost tentative, like he was still afraid of breaking something fragile. But the kiss deepened, and with it, the certainty that you were no longer broken. You were healing—together.

Six Months Later

The sound of Andora’s laughter fills the air as you sit together in the park, watching her chase after a small stream of water she’s controlling with her tiny hands. She’s gotten better at it, thanks to Thor’s guidance. Now, instead of accidents, she’s able to play, the water swirling in graceful patterns around her.

“Daddy! Mommy! Look!” she squeals, sending the water into the shape of a dragon, just as she had promised months ago.

Thor grins, standing beside you with an arm draped over your shoulder. “That’s my girl,” he says proudly, watching as Andora beams with pride.

You smile, leaning into him, feeling the weight of everything that’s happened between you lift away. You’re not perfect—there are still moments when the past catches up, when doubts creep in—but you’re moving forward, together.

And as you watch your daughter run toward you, her little face full of joy and confidence, you know that this is the family you always dreamed of. A family that wasn’t just held together by love but built on trust, forgiveness, and the decision to keep trying.

Thor presses a kiss to the top of your head, his voice soft in your ear. “I will love you both for all of my days.”

You smile, resting your hand over his. “And we’ll love you for all of ours.”

[applegingham]

YES !! YES !!!!!! AHAHAAAA YESSSS !!!!

my personal headcannons for the loveliest of lovely little guys <3333

extra info + flags!!

randy: (pan and agender)

-fibromyalgia for sure, trauma does shit things

-probably needs a cane or something similar to aleviate pain (doesn't think he's ill enough to need one, absolutely is)

-if he gets high please treat him like a fish in an aquarium, probably would hate the lack of control

-flushes really easily, and constantly clammy

-if you put a blanket on his head he'll fall asleep

-narcolepsy

-loves the feeling of a nice, heafty, soft quilt and a hot cocoa on a cold afternoon...

oliver: (trans, gay and demiromantic!)

-has a stuffed animal collection 100%

-probably picks up a million different projects only to put them down, a new hyperfixation every week kinda guy

-him being a stoner is basically cannon but, in specifics he seems like a bong or joint guy to me, would let u smoke the first hit (bc he's nice)

-rollerskate date :]

-glasses to at least semi help his shit 'eye' (optical sensor) and lack of depth perception (they can only do so much though)

karen: (nonbinary, lesbian)

-doesn't particularly care about gender as a concept

-has a bunch of tassles and cords in her house she has braided

-can't keep a plant alive to save her life, has mourned at least 20 house plants, has a fake one (somehow dies too)

-mitski.

-the biggest sweet tooth out of the group

-will lock herself away for hours and hours, sometimes an entire day or two, just creating. only to come out of a hole haggard and exhuasted with her New Horse Drawing.

-hEDS, uses a walker to get around!

Norm: (questioning/bi ?)

-writer (how the hell else wouldn't he go absolutely bonkers all alone, other than having a goal and spite i guess)

-uses coffee to live, but definitely enjoys tea in his free time

-probably learned archery at some point

-whittles little sculptures to pass the time (made karen a little wooden horse sculpture once)

-randomly schedules cook outs/junctions when he's feeling lonely and isolated

-he would absolutely take the will graham route and end up with 20 fucking stray dogs out of a deep empathy and then wake up one day and realize the mess he got himself into.

-grilldad. (duh)

phonegingi: (genderfluid, polyamorous, pan)

-gender? yes.

-sexuality? yes.

-will consume your clothes if you are not careful with your gingi Care instructions. (taking little nibbles is okay as a treat)

-if weed is consumed it basically acts as a horrifically strong catnip, and it will get the zoomies and make it everyone's problem

-purrs

-pays really good attention to detail stuff, and its brain is basically a filing cabinet. but big events are basically a blur

-gets SUPER !! fluffy during the winter and there's an awful period where it's shedding and it's...super patchy and silly lookin

-me and the bitches i pulled by being HORRIFYING and lovely,,,,

bigfoot: (aroace. i don't take criticism.)

-banana,,,

-genuinely pretty attentive and smart

-becomes a painter because he is INSPIRED ! by his friend karen

-absolutely splendid lad

-i wanna live in a world where one of his passions is making and wearing silly hats, please, PLEASE

-karen showed him mitski,,,god help him he's sad now

-knitting,,,he knit giant banana,,,,

[thesupreme316]

Heyyyyy I just came up with this but headcanons with the boys if their so is in college and has a bunch of missing work how and how they would deal with it (not like this is related to me rn totally DONT have have 20+ missing assignments that r do Thursday😮‍💨) if not that’s fine I just needing something to do so I felt like I was being productive cuz I don’t feel like doing work in my week off. Thought I’d submit ideas for writers so I’d be doing smt!

AEW STARS React to: Their S/O In College (and Taking Finals)

Pairings: Nick Wayne x Reader, Darius Martin x Reader, Hook x Reader, Dante Martin x Reader, Christian Cage x Reader, MJF x Reader, Eddie Kingston x Reader, Wheeler Yuta x Reader

Word Count: 1.2K

Supreme Speaks: hey yall, finals kicked my butt, but we back and packed up in here! to this lovely anon, i hope you got everything done and passed with flying colors (ik i struggled). but anyways, please remember that you are loved and appreciated, and also that you are more than a gpa.

Warnings: none i think, grammarly wasn't working so barely proofread, no gifs as tumblr don't wanna work rn

Taglist: @hooks-martin @sheinthatfandom @triscillal @cassie0sstuff @eddie-kingstons-wifey @hookerforhook @batzy-watzy @wwenhlimagines

i totally forgot to add my beautiful besties my bad

Nick Wayne

Hahaha He is the last person you should be going to for help

If anything, Nick believes that you should just leave it alone and just be in candy land with him

But he knows how hard it is for you and how important it is

So he’ll try his best to help you actually do the assignments

Like you two split up how much work you have and he does half the assignment

I think he would find it fun; pulling all nighters in the library and doing work with their S/O until like 4 am

Every night would be a new adventure

Would let you review the work before you submit it

But anything science-related

Don’t ask him shit

I see him as more of a math person

Darius Martin

I see Darius definitely as a liberal arts or literature person

Like he can edit your papers (he’s your personal chat gpt)

I think Darius would help you by creating a schedule

Like when you need to get stuff done by

BUT

He takes it a step further by allocating time limits for each assignment

Like you can only work on assignment 1 for an hour and 30 minutes each day

Something tells me he is particular with schedules

Darius will keep you on track as if he’s getting paid for it

“Y/N, your break ended 3 minutes ago. LETS GO”

Will definitely help you with researching topics cause that takes a while

Don’t ask him shit about math

Dante Martin

Doesn’t particularly understand what you are going through

But nonetheless he hates that he doesn’t see you as much anymore

I can see him just giving you gifts and words of encouragement

Will tutor you if you need help…but realize that this is not high school science

“You mean there is more than Chemistry I? CHEMISTRY VI? ORGANIC-“

He soon gives up

Stays up with you and drags you away from work if needed

IMAGINE DANTE SAYING “COME TO BED BABY” OMG MY HEART

Will help you with assignments like Nick

Will reward you for all your hard work (wink wink)

Tries to distract you and give you moments for fun/relaxation

After the dust is settled, he’s just happy that you are out of the shackles of academia and you two can hang out stress-free

Hook

MANS IS NOT BOTHERED WITH YOUR BULLSHIT

Has the constant “I told you to start on these assignments earlier” look on his face

If anything he will just supply you with food, energy drinks, and emotional support

But if you thing this man will give you any type of physical help

YOU ARE LYIN TO YOURSELF SWEETHEART

Will secretly complain about your lack of self care or wishing he could actually help in Italian

Fancanon: Hook can speak Italian

If he thinks you have been working too much

He will save your work and shut your laptop down

Will make sure you did everything on your checklist before turning the assignments in

If you need him to print stuff off, just ask, he’ll do it

Unless it’s 1 am…then he’s telling you to take your ass to sleep

Wheeler Yuta

Okay, this man can actually help you

WITH HIS CUTE ASS GLASSES

He truly understands what you are going through as he used to be in your shoes

Mans will tutor you until you are smarter than him

Loves helping you with history and shit

“No the War of 1812 didn’t happen in 1937”

Gives you helpful study and test-taking tips

Tries to make you drink healthy caffeinated drinks not Monsters or Red Bulls

Believes they are the devil and will slap them out of your hands

“What did I say? Red Bull gives you horns, not wings…no not horns for being horny”

Will give you little trinkets or treat you out to dinner when you complete your assignments/exams

He just wants you to remain healthy during this stressful time

Christian Cage

I feel like if anything Christian is a professor…with the way he be schooling those-

He’s probably very knowledge in various subjects

He just does them the old-fashioned way

“What the hell is this?…Whatcha mean this is the new way?”

But if anything he’ll adapt to it, just trying to help you

I HAVE A THEORY that he’ll stay up reading the next chapter or the directions for your next assignment and tries to figure out ways to make the process easier

So the next day you walk out to the table and you see the parts of your project laid out and labeled

“I know it’s a lot but we break it up like this, you should be able to complete by tomorrow”

Christian takes pictures of you two so he can look back and bring up times like the Vietnam war

Makes you take breaks, in which he’ll work in your place

When you get your grade back, it’s yalls grade

not yours

MJF

Straight up pays for a tutor/homework helper

But stays in the room and yells at them cause you are still confused and behind

I mean this in the nicest way

Max is no damn help

He is laughing at you while he’s putting on his scarf

“Imagine doing homework to get a little paper for a job! That’s what you get for not being born rich”

Will post you on instagram and claim that homework and exams are to test idiots

But will quickly change his tune when you place a physics worksheet in front of him

“WHY IS THE GREEK ALPHABET HERE?”

Issues you a public apology and vows to never make fun of you again

If anything MJF supplies you with emotional support, letting you know that your feelings are valid

Will buy you new shoes or something massive for surviving and passing everything

Eddie Kingston

Now when I say don’t ask him anything

DON’T ASK HIM ANYTHING! HE’LL JUST SAY

“Doll, imma be real, I have a GED. I dunno shit”

He can only laugh from afar and say “glad I don’t have to do that shit”

But if you ask him anything about English or Shakespeare, he got you

Will recite random Shakespeare quotes to provide entertainment

I think he proofreads your papers to ensure they make sense

I do think he can help with researching and giving you credible websites

Other than that, his designated role is paper weight or waterboy

He believes your every word when you groan about school

That’s all he can do but you don’t complain about it

After he loves you and you love him

[physalian]

There’s this unskippable Google AI ad on YouTube where this girl consults the robot about how to cancel dinner plans with the people across the table in the most annoying voice (likely because I have seen this ad now and had to listen to her asinine questions 20 times at least) and this ad, right here, speaks to my frustration around AI:

It disincentivizes critical thinking.

I know the ad is a joke and meant to be lighthearted and I’m only this annoyed because it’s unskippable and irritating af, but every time I see it all I can think is “if you can’t manage enough creativity and critical thinking to come up with your own excuse to cancel on your friends, maybe you shouldn’t have those friends.”

I have a relative who is firmly in the ChatGPT camp and, for example, yesterday I was trying to figure out how to compress a video file and was venting to them about it. They sent me back something I didn’t read from ChatGPT. Meanwhile, I looked up a YouTube video and figured out how to do the rest on my own, and getting the file compressed was immensely satisfying. Far more than mindlessly and thoughtlessly consulting the robot.

“It’s just like a YouTube video!” They’d told me.

No, a real person put time and effort into that video. That robot stole their content without their consent, didn’t credit them, and spat it back out. I used to patronizingly refer to ChatGPT as "the magic conch" and now I can barely do that anymore because that metaphor is becoming all-too real.

While I can understand the barriers it lowers—like if you struggle with writing the robot does it for you, or if you need a piece of art and are too poor, you can generate it for free. Mindless, repetitive tasks that eat up creative juices that can just be automated by a robot, too (even though everyone can tell when a response is canned and artificial and no one appreciates talking to a machine).

If you keep consulting ChatGPT for how to articulate what you want to say, or just straight-up having it do the hard work for you, you’re never going to learn. Yes it’s taken me 8 years to reach the quality and skill of writing I have but as another Tumblr post out there said: The time will pass anyway.

I can’t draw to the skill level that I’d like to. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep practicing until I get there. I thrive off that sense of accomplishment. There’s no little hit of dopamine from typing in a prompt and clicking a button and I certainly don’t appreciate the final product scalped without consequence from real artists.

Or, like when I had to fire a beta reader for flagrant abuse of AI in her work: I can copy-paste my manuscript into ChatGPT, too. I’d paid her for a human response, not garbage feedback that couldn’t understand what I was writing beyond that there were words on the page. I wanted so badly to ask her why she does a job in a creative field if she's just going to have a robot do all the fun parts? I beta read at a great loss of profit because I enjoy beta reading and it's a fiercely competetive market. Surely if she wanted to scam people, she could have done so in so many other ways. You don't need to know how to pen complex prose in your every day life, but by god, you do need to know how to effectively communicate, contextualize, and argue your perspective and this ridiculous ad joking about cancelling dinner plans sure is funny, until it isn't.

And I know the people who made AI probably did so with the best of intentions but people can be lazy and cheap and we love taking shortcuts to save money and I stand by this: "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

So. Yeah. This is a writing advice blog and this post has almost nothing to do with it, but that ad annoys me to no end and I had to say something somewhere about it. Bottom line: Robots were supposed to make the hard jobs, the monotonous jobs, the overcomplicated jobs, the belittling jobs easier, not make us all into pudding-boned Wall-E people. If you want to write, learning is absolutely free - write on the back of your grocery receipts for all I care. If you want to draw, pick up a notebook and pack of pencils from the local dollar store and start drawing.

What you made will always mean more to you than something that didn't cost you time, effort, brain power, or even money to obtain.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Hi! I have a request, if you’d like to write something like it, no pressure! xD

Can I get a Jack Delroy x female reader where he kind of “saves” reader who is abused by her narcissistic mother, and they bond over their shared love of Halloween/spooky things/horror movies? Maybe with some smut?

I’m in love with him and your blog is a gift 😭

I Found Love Where It Wasn't Supposed To Be - Jack Delroy/Reader

Warnings: This one gets heavy. No use of Y/N, female reader, the reader lives a very lonely and miserable life, parental abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, reader saves herself, fingering, soft smut, multiple orgasms, happy ending.

Wordcount: 15294

Summary: You lived for her, and it was all you knew. So when you suddenly start living for him as well as yourself, she can't let you have that.

Notes: This is what happens when requests get specific lmao okay so, leading up to this one I had no idea where to go with it, but as soon as I started I just could not stop. This is my longest request so far, almost tripling my other longest, so I really hope you like how this turned out, because I really locked in this time 😊💗 I also hope you don't mind all the Leo cause I love that guy lol he's always gotta be on my readers' side no matter the fic.

All your life you’d felt like you’d been running from something, and it consumed you again when your mother came into your room to tell you to start packing, you were moving to New York within the month.

You had no choice but to do it, your few possessions all neatly placed in your single suitcase once more before fitting into the moving van, a sad addition to everything your mother owned. You were an adult, capable of living on your own and getting yourself a home to call your own, no more moving, but you knew if you were to bring it up you’d just get shot down again with no chance to try again until the next move. That was just how it’d always been, your future sealed ever since you were a child and your father had walked out, unable to deal with the woman sitting beside you any longer.

She clung to you like a lifeline, draining you of everything you were in order to keep your permanent attention, but still needing more as you grew and drifted away from her. All your life she’d been moving you around as she searched for something that would never be enough, no amount of lovers able to replace that emptiness inside of her just like you couldn’t as her only child, each new city bringing her a hope that you knew could only be more misplacement as you packed up and shipped out. That’s what was happening again as she headed East, just another mark on your map as you stared out the window and took nothing in.

You would be entering your 40s in just a few years, your entire life wasted on your mother in her quest to find what she wanted that would finally set you free, but the older you got the more you accepted that she never would, and you would never be able to leave. You’d tried once, back when you were young and more rebellious, hooked on young love and ready to run away and leave it all behind, but the moment she stood between you and the door, your suitcase in hand and a bunch of miscellaneous bills in your pocket, you knew that you’d never be able to go through with it.

You’d had your one chance, and your partner had left you behind, tired of waiting for you to grow up and live your own life.

20 years had passed since then, time leaving you a shell of a person as you just stared out the car window, the moving van in your sideview mirror as it trailed dutifully behind as it always did every few years when she’d get the urge to get up and go yet again. New York was yet another miracle town where she’d surely find what she wanted this time, a mental list of all the others scrolling in your mind as you counted them down, her desire to find love changing to desiring the stardom that so many others were getting with each new city. The latest spur of spontaneity had been brought on by one Jack Delroy, a radio man who’d gotten his own break into television not too long ago, the first half of his first season a sleeper hit as his fans transitioned from audio to video and brought a wave of others with him.

She was convinced she could do the same despite having no particular talents on her own, and that was you being kind in that regard.

When you finally reached your new temporary lodgings, as you liked to call them, because she never let you settle in long enough to call any place a home, you saw with no surprise that it was even smaller than the last. Money was getting thin again, you’d need to find a job even faster than last time, more of your remaining things probably already in her mind to be sold to pay the bills. The more you moved the less she worked it seemed, her goals raising higher and higher and forbidding her from taking anything less than what she wanted, so she relied on you to do the hard jobs, ones that kept you out until the late hours bussing tables or bagging groceries. It was hard work but it kept you away from her, so you didn’t mind as much as you already scanned the newspaper snatched from the lobby to search for any available jobs.

Your room was basically a closet this time in order for her to get the bedroom, just enough room for a bed and dresser, and you just stared at the available space before deciding that a single bed would be more beneficial to you after all, your double bed having supported you for many years and through more moves. You planned on just sleeping on the couch until you could find a cheap place to buy a new one, your resignation well practiced as her queen sized bed was carried to her room, her windows overlooking the city while your single one was blocked by the fire escape crossing it.

‘It looks almost like prison bars,’ you mumbled to yourself as you put away your few drawers of clothes, but there was no sadness in your voice, not for that kind of thing anymore.

One week and 13 applications later, you got yourself a job and a new mattress, it lying on the floor until you could save up for a new frame to go with it. It was another retail job, but with it you were able to switch out some older clothes for newer, thriftier things, so you saw that as a win. Your mother continued to apply for jobs out of her league, so while you tagged new items and folded the clothes you would search the paper beside you for more hirings, jobs with higher pay and late hours so you could fill out your day as much as possible.

It was through this method that you saw that UBC Studios was looking for interns and entry-level employees, people without much experience who wanted to get into television and were okay with being coffee runners and memo takers, and you circled that ad with your marker before getting back to the freshly washed batch of shirts you were currently pricing.

As soon as you were off work you walked the 47 minutes to the studio, cabs were a luxury you couldn’t afford with bills looming over your head, but you still kept yourself looking presentable as you approached the front desk and placed the paper in front of the receptionist. She smiled widely when she saw it, apparently not too many people wanted the job so they were behind on applicants, which was great news for you as you were led down a series of hallways until you reached the correct door. A man sat at his desk behind it, a cigarette filling the room with smoke and nearly obscuring him as he shuffled through a mountain of paperwork, even more files, and three different phones. 

‘Mr. Fiske? I’ve brought someone interested in the job,’ the receptionist told him, and he didn’t even glance up as one of the phones rang, to which he quickly hung it up the moment he saw which button was blinking.

‘What job?’ he asked around his cigarette, the phone ringing again and making him groan before he unplugged the phone entirely and went back to the open folder in front of him.

‘The intern? For Night Owls?’

‘Oh, I’m sorry, I actually need to be paid, are any of those jobs still available?’ you cut in, Mr. Fiske glancing up over his sunglasses at you at the sound of your voice, like he hadn’t even realized you were already there. 

‘What's your name?’ he asked then, and when you told him he snuffed out his cigarette and motioned for the receptionist to go back to her desk. ‘We have one paying job still open for Night Owls, but I gotta tell ya kid, it'll be long, late hours and that pay ain't that good; you're young and pretty, you wouldn't want that eating into your beauty sleep, or prime party hours, would you?’

‘If not here I'll just be working somewhere else, I don't have much of a social life,’ you admitted only because you really needed the job and it was hard enough finding places that were open late and actively hiring.

‘Shame, the city's missing out,’ he mused as he searched for a file and pulled it free, sending the rest of them toppling to the floor without so much as a blink. ‘Here, fill this out and I'll take you up, the place is empty right now but I can walk you around, give you a schedule if you can be here for 11PM tomorrow night to start?’ You nodded, stunned that already you'd been hired as you took the stapled stack of papers from him right as another phone rang, and this time he picked it up. ‘Take a hint already, I'm working,’ he snapped into the receiver before slamming it down again, and while that might have scared anyone else off you were ready to deal with whatever instability he could throw at you if it not only got you more money but also out of the Lodgings for a few more hours a day. 

You finished filling out the application while he continued to go through his overwhelming amount of paperwork, a new cigarette already in his mouth and a glass of whiskey poured the next time you looked up at him. You cleared your throat to get his attention as delicately as possible, another glance over his sunglasses shot your way behind he was standing and taking the papers from you. He glanced over them just to be sure everything was in order, the file then tossed onto the only free corner of his desk before he was herding you towards the door.

‘Alright, your job'll be simple enough, just get here on time, fill whatever stupid request Jack wants to keep him as stress-free as possible, and be ready to do whatever inane bullshit I need in the meantime, you think you can do that?’ he asked as you walked, and again you could only nod as you pushed through a single set in a wall of double doors, a vibrant set coming into view before you. It was decorated in yellows, oranges, and browns, a wavy pattern painted onto the wall panels at the back, and you thought it was cozy and charming as you looked around. ‘You'll just be back here for the most part, it'll be stocked with everything you might need to grab so you won't have to learn the whole building, but sometimes I might need you to grab Jack's drycleaning, he's horrible with remembering that shit, can you drive?’

‘I can but- it's in the shop right now, so I mostly walk,’ you lied, not wanting to tell your new boss right out the gate that the reason you were walking was actually because your mother hoarded the car in case she needed it to answer any of her auditions.

‘You can use mine, I'll bring the Caddy from home and you can start driving the Brougham, you wreck it you're buying it though so keep that in mind,’ he told you before tossing the keys over his shoulder, your eyes widening at the thought of having an escape vehicle; you didn't have to sneak out the keys when your mother wasn't looking like this, a ride to freedom now in your hands as Mr. Fiske kept talking about the job, but you didn't hear a single word as your knees started shaking.

You'd wanted to run so many times when you were younger but that final failure had crushed any future attempts before you could even dream of them, your heart racing just like when you were a teenager as you gripped the keys and resisted the urge to run right then and there. She'd never have to know you'd left, it was a big city and people disappeared in it every single day, and by the time he caught on that you'd stolen his car and hit the road you'd be so far away that you could ditch it and start a new life on foot. A long-quelled hope filled you, one you thought would never return again, and when Mr. Fiske turned back to you to confirm that you were okay with every part of the job you planned on nodding your head, shaking his hand, and then never seeing your mother again.

‘Forgot my jacket, I'm doing an interview in 20 and you couldn't once pick up?’ A voice came from the side door, your hand stopping mid-reach for that handshake as you turned to see a dashingly handsome man with a scowl on his face approach you.

‘Told you I was working, here, I hired you an assistant so she would've been able to drop it off when I was done, now you don't gotta bust my ass over this nonsense anymore,’ Mr. Fiske told him as the man located and picked up his jacket from a nearby chair. He looked you over, his face softening when he noticed his arguing partner wasn't alone, and he took your outstretched hand and turned your goodbye into a greeting instead. Mr. Fiske told him your name when you couldn't speak, the man giving you the warmest smile you'd ever received in years before letting you go.

‘Jack Delroy, charmed to meet you,’ he said kindly, and in an instant your plan to leave disappeared again, not because you had to stay with your mother, but because you wanted to stay near him. ‘I suppose this can be your first task, you're technically off the clock but I'll pay you for the time if you'd accompany me to my interview downtown, I'm still getting used to all this and my thoughts are a little scattered,’ he admitted with a grin, your answer a quick yes as he led you outside and to his car, the Chrysler you were just gifted now forgotten in the lot as you stuffed the key into your pocket.

The interview was a success, the two of you going out to dinner afterwards to get to know each other better, and you understood why so many of his fans had followed his work as he relaxed you and made you laugh in what felt like forever. He wasn't just putting on an act as he talked with you, his genuine self on display for you even though no cameras were rolling, and by the time midnight rolled around and he had to sleep for the night you felt such a connection to him that you were almost sad to see him go.

‘Better sleep up tonight, we go live tomorrow night,’ he reminded you as you headed for the parking lot, but just as he was about to unlock the passenger door so he could drive you home you stopped him.

‘I don't live far, I can walk,’ you lied again, really not wanting to risk your mother seeing you get out of the car of a celebrity when she was trying so hard to be him. 

‘You sure?’ he asked just to be certain, but you didn't budge as you forced a smile and took a step back to seal the deal. ‘Alright, I'll see you tomorrow at 11, then,’ he said before waving goodnight and getting into his car, your arms coming up to hug yourself as you watched him drive away. You waited until you could no longer see him in the crowd of cars before shoving your hands in your pockets to keep them warm, Mr. Fiske's - Leo, as Jack had called him over dinner - keys hitting your fingers and reminding you that happiness was still there in that parking lot. You swallowed it down and started on the walk back home, only getting lost a few times as you navigated the streets for the first time. It took a while but you were getting a better grasp of the place with each new location you traversed, which streets were familiar and which led to Broadway, and how you'd be able to get from your first job to the studio without wasting too much time.

You updated your mental map as you climbed the stairs to get home, no dinner waiting for you since your mother had already eaten hours ago and it was on you to feed yourself as an adult, but thanks to Jack you weren't hungry for once, the apartment dark as you headed right for bed and dreamt about brown eyes and kind smiles.

For once you were finding yourself to be happier as you went between jobs, the retail surprisingly easy despite the influx of customers so you never got a second to think about your mother, and then when you were done you napped in the back of your car until it was time to help Jack. You were never in front of the camera, which was good because that meant you were safe from your mother's gaze as she surely stayed up to watch the success that she craved, but sometimes you almost wanted to go out there to stand with him, take place in something that wasn't just working to live and then living for your mother while she drained every last emotion from you in her journey for attention. 

You didn't indulge, just watching the monitors safely from the back as you munched on crew snacks, your job much easier than Leo had made it seem; Jack was so easy to work with he rarely asked you for a thing, and only once did you end up needing to leave as Leo grabbed your shoulder. He nodded towards the door, silently wanting you to follow, and you set down your little paper plate before getting up and letting him lead the way. He didn't stop until you reached the hallway, no threat of his voice carrying as he leaned in close and lowered his voice.

‘Alright, listen, it's Jack's birthday tonight, and he thinks I forgot cause he's gullible but I need you to run out and grab everything on this list before he's done so we can all celebrate at my place, you think you can do that in the next 45?’ he asked in a hushed whisper, absolutely no one around to hear and spoil the surprise as you looked at your watch and steeled yourself.

‘I can, I've done more in less time,’ you promised, and he gave you a pat before handing over a bunch of cash.

‘Good, leave it in the car and we'll keep it a surprise til we get to mine; I really need you to ham it on tonight, make it seem like this is all your idea until we get there cause otherwise he won't believe it for a second,’ he informed you, and while your acting was rough you still knew you didn't have to feign excitement when it came to him. He let you go then, the two of you separating as you hurried for your car, your heart racing at the thought of finally being able to drive it just for him. 

You made quick work of the list thanks to Leo telling you exactly which store held everything, his soft spot for Jack that he constantly denied having coming in handy as you perused the aisles with great speed and checked everything off one by one. You felt almost giddy for the first time in years as you checked out the cards, this one not on the list, but you wanted to give him something personal as you glanced over them until one caught your eye; it was a child's card, so the age on it was wrong of course, but as you picked it up and looked inside you couldn’t contain your giggle at how perfect it was. 

You added it to the cart and headed for the register, your watch telling you that you were making great time, but just as you got in line to check out you heard something that made your blood run cold: ‘Aren't you supposed to be at work?’ It was your mother, who was supposed to be at home watching Night Owls, her own small cart filled with things as she got in line behind you. ‘What are you doing buying alcohol? Since when do you drink?’

‘I, uh…’ you stuttered as everything was rung up, her eyebrow raising when she saw the card be scanned. ‘It's my boss’ birthday, so I was sent out to get a bunch of stuff for the party, I was going to call and say I'd be home late,’ you explained without going into too much detail, the cashier totaling it up and telling you what you owed. You pulled out Leo's money without a thought, your mother’s eyes widening when she saw it.

‘Where did you get all of that? I've been starving myself so you can afford to pay the bills,’ she gasped angrily, the cashier not saying a word as she removed herself from the conversation and started bagging everything the second your change met your hand. 

‘I got it from Le- Nora, my manager Lenora, so that she'd be sure I had enough,’ you lied for the first time in your life, your mother staring you down with a frown.

‘Well you can use some of that on me, she doesn't have to know,’ was all she said before she left to grab more, and you just sighed without arguing and started to place everything on the register for her in her absence. You didn't want to use Leo's money on her, no matter how much change you had considering he'd given you a blind but large lump sum to cover it all, so you pulled out your own wallet and had it charged to your card when she was done, your watch beeping sadly to tell you that it was 1AM, you were now late. You tried to leave before her so you could speed back, but the moment you reached the door you realized that she'd see you get into your car, something she was bound to take to make herself look more impressive, so you forced yourself to stay behind and wait for her, helping her load her bags into her own car before pretending to hail a cab.

She didn't even say goodbye as she pulled out of the lot, the ice cream starting to melt and making the bag moist, your arms thankfully saving it before it could tear and spill everything onto the pavement. You didn't get back until everyone was leaving, the party still happening but without you there to convince Jack to go out he was focusing solely on your backup, his co-host Gus soaking up all the glory as everyone praised him for his good idea. You didn't meet Leo's eye as he headed for you, your hand already held out with the change as you prepared to take whatever anger he was about to dish out at you, but he didn't yell, just checked your backseat to make sure everything was there.

‘You really cut it close, just follow the convoy, and don't drink too much, I bet you $100 he's going to drink too much and need a ride home,’ he whispered before heading for his own car, the money ignored as you put it back in your pocket and got ready to follow again.

‘There you are, are you coming with us?’ Jack surprised you right as you opened the door, your body jumping back into his raised hands as you let out a yelp and dropped the keys. ‘Sorry about that, I didn't know my footsteps were so quiet,’ he joked as he picked them up for you like a gentleman.

‘It's my fault, I'm a bit distracted tonight,’ you said without meaning to, everything shoved back into a neat little box once more as you forced a smile. 

‘Does that mean you won't go?’ He sounded almost disappointed, but that wasn't right, no one was ever disappointed when you couldn't join them, your lips parting slightly before you shook your head.

‘No, I'm going,’ you confirmed to him, his resulting smile so big that it could almost break your heart. He handed your keys back with a, ‘Good, I'm glad,’ before going to his car, the crowd thinning as car after car started up and created a parade. You were quick to hop in and follow before you were the last one there, your cheeks red the entire time to Leo's, who, you discovered, lived not only in his penthouse downtown but also had a large house all to himself as well. You learned that he used it for these private affairs and whenever he needed to get away, the address unlisted and why he was so relieved you'd made it back in time. 

Everyone was parked all the way down the street, and the only reason you got a space in the driveway itself was because Leo himself stood in the way and got them to keep right on driving until you arrived. He helped you carry everything inside via the back, Jack already inside and getting many handshakes and pats on the back as congratulations, so he was none the wiser as you both set out the spread in the kitchen. The cake was pre-ordered and already waiting, and you were glad the ice cream wasn't too melted as you placed it, along with countless other treats and a few different brands of alcohol, on the island around it before Leo called everyone in. 

The lights dimmed as the candles were lit, Jack too humble to accept it all as everyone got ready to sing, and you held your card tightly as he blew out the candles and filled the room with darkness and smoke and loud applause. When the lights came back on he and Leo were hugging, the latter once again denying his soft spot for him as he ordered for the cake to be cut before another year came and went.

You snuck out to find a pen before you could partake in the treats, a card already going around when Jack wasn't looking, and when you signed it you made sure to adjust your own before passing it on. You were just about to hand it over when he was snatched away, everyone wanting to talk to him tonight, and you let yourself fall into old habits as you grabbed some cake and melted ice cream and found a seat to yourself. Despite not getting to talk to him, it ended up being a fun night, everyone's hidden presents all grabbed from their cars and stacked in his lap as Leo took a picture, nothing from you in the pile as he unwrapped everything. 

When he saw that Leo had somehow managed to find his favourite film for his U-Matic, everyone gathered around in his spacious living room to watch, and you quickly found out that he was also a fan of horror as you recognized the opening credits. He was a fan, and he claimed to love it, but still he cowered in shock and awe and absolute joy along with everyone around him while you secretly hogged the popcorn to yourself.

The party went on late into the night, Leo not letting you leave until Jack was ready to either crash there or catch a ride with you seeing as he did in fact drink a lot, and it was only when you got your producer alone in the kitchen did you try again to give him his change. He just looked at it before going back to his whiskey with a shake of his head, your head cocking to the side in confusion. ‘I only bet you because I knew I'd win, I don't actually want your money,’ he muttered as he took a sip, and you dropped the cash onto the counter and slid it towards him.

‘That's all your change from the list,’ you finally explained, and he took another sip before pushing it back to you.

‘Keep it, gas isn't free,’ he insisted before walking away in order to stop you from declining, and you felt your throat tighten as you stared down at the remaining couple hundred plus a few random bills and coins; it was more than you'd made in your last paycheck at your first job, and it would make up for what you'd had to dish out on your mother without worry, and you quickly wiped away a tear before putting it all back into your pocket with a silent thank you.

Now that that was settled you could go back to watching over Jack, the man no longer in the living room to your horror as you started to look for him. If he'd gone off to bed then that was all fine and dandy, you could go home and rest for a few hours until you had to work again, but if he'd driven off drunk then you'd never be able to forgive yourself if something happened to him; you checked the driveway and found his car still there, your hunt taking you through every single room in Leo's house as your panic grew and thoughts of what happened to him plagued your mind. 

You thought you'd be used to this kind of feeling, after all, your mother put you through this kind of thing often, but this fear felt new as you threw open the master bedroom’s balcony doors and stepped out to breathe. You were used to the panic of losing her while she sought attention in all the wrong places, but that came with the twisted hope that maybe this time it'd be the last and you could go free; no, you were worried about him as you gulped down the cold, night air, your care for him more than it'd been for anyone you'd ever known. You tried not to cry as you asked the night where he'd gone only to hear a soft splash, your eyes following the yard lights to where a figure was sitting at the edge of the large pool down below.

It was Jack, his suit jacket slung over his shoulder and a glass still in his hand, the ice clinking together as he swirled the remaining contents and tossed them back in one big gulp. You laughed in pure relief before heading downstairs as fast as you could, the way out of this maze nearly getting you before you reached the patio doors in the kitchen and stepped back outside. You approached cautiously, you didn't know if he was out there because of a sudden drop in mood after all, but when he heard your steps on the stone he looked up and smiled just like he always did.

‘Been looking for you,’ he surprised you by saying, and he motioned for you to sit next to him before gazing back out onto the lit up water. ‘I thought you might've left so I came out here to catch my breath before bed, Leo would kill me if I drove home like this.’

‘I was looking for you too, he told me to drive you home if you got too drunk,’ you admitted quietly, afraid of letting Leo overhear you ratting him out even though it was just the two of you out there, but Jack just laughed and kicked his feet through the water again, the source of the small splash you'd heard from above.

‘I've been taking care of myself long before I met him, you can tell him that I don't need a babysitter,’ he laughed, but then his voice dropped to something calmer as his eyes met yours, ‘although, I can't say I haven't been enjoying your company because of it.’

You swallowed, your heart pounding before you told yourself that he was just friendly, like this with everyone, no one ever waited for you once you chose your mother over them.

‘I bet you say that to all the girls who work for you,’ you joked if only to get him to admit that you weren't special, just a tool for your mother to use to get her affirmations that she was still good enough, but when he spoke next the world went quiet around you as even she disappeared from your mind.

‘Just the pretty ones, and you're the prettiest damn thing that's ever worked with me,’ he whispered softly, and when you turned to look at him you saw that his eyes were only on you.

‘Jack, you're drunk,’ you insisted more to yourself than to him, and when he leaned in close you found yourself frozen to the spot.

‘Maybe you should take me home, then?’

Your breath hitched as he placed his hand over yours, clearly too drunk to keep everything in, but you believed him as you nodded and helped him stand. He left his glass beside the pool where his shoes had been waiting, the two of you sneaking around the house to get to the driveway, his body occasionally bumping into yours as you led him to his car. His keys were pressed into your hand the moment you both sat down on the worn leather, his card digging into your side from your coat pocket, calling to you to give it to him while you ignored it, this wasn't the time. You turned on the heat so he could stay warm before taking off down the empty street, his mumbled directions of where to go leading you in a circle as he fought to recognize the houses surrounding you.

Eventually he got it, his house surprisingly small and cozy and not at all what you’d imagined as you parked once more. He was starting to sleep on the way there, hence the trouble with directions, but now that you were opening the door and helping him stand he was waking up again, his cheeks flushing as he watched you unlock his front door. You couldn’t stay, you needed to get some sleep before your morning shift, but he didn’t let go of you even as he kicked off his shoes and dropped his jacket to the ground.

‘Walk me up?’ he asked almost shyly, the lively host you’d gotten to know stripped away to leave only Jack behind, and you couldn’t leave him as you helped him get to his bedroom. The place was completely empty, devoid of any roommates or partners as he crawled onto his bed, and the moment you went to say goodnight so you wouldn’t ask about it you found his hands on your arm. 

His touch was light, he wasn't holding you to keep you prisoner, and when he fell onto his side you joined him without a fight. His bed was big and soft, heat emanating off of him in a way you’d never known before, not even when you’d attempted to date when you had the small freedom of highschool to see other people, and when he touched your face in the dark you closed your eyes and tried to savour it because this couldn’t last, not while she was out there. 

‘Stay with me?’ he asked next, and you couldn’t stop yourself from grabbing onto his hand and choking back a sob.

‘No one wants me to stay,’ you whispered miserably, unable to hold your own truth in since he wouldn’t remember this in the morning, needing to say it just this once.

‘I do.’ 

You blinked and felt the tear run down your cheek, his other hand coming up to wipe it away before he was leaning in, giving you the freedom to turn away, get up and leave, but you couldn’t as you met him in the middle, your first kiss in 20 years only making you hold him tighter as he wrapped his arms around you.

You didn’t wake up the next morning to your alarm clock, but rather to the sound of birds outside your window, everything about that feeling wrong as you tried to roll over and found yourself trapped. You woke up a little more, not recognizing your surroundings as the heat around your stomach turned into arms, and when you looked down and saw Jack still holding you you felt such an ache run through you like you’d never known. You tried to lift his arm off of you without waking him, already looking around to see that your coat was on the floor while your dress was currently hanging off his nightstand from when you’d tossed it over your shoulder the night before, the sight bittersweet as he groaned in his sleep and held on tight.

‘Jack, please, I’ll be late for work,’ you moaned as you tried again, and he cracked an eye open and didn’t look like he regretted this but actually wanted you to stay.

‘Call in, you know the number, right?’ he mumbled into his pillow, trying again to keep you there, and you swallowed and adjusted your bra strap, still remembering the way he’d kissed your shoulder as he’d attempted to take it off, his fingers too clumsy and your heart too greedy to do anything other than climb on top of him and kiss him. 

‘I can’t afford to.’ You’d never talked about your financial status before, too embarrassed and not wanting to weigh him down by your problems, and both eyes opened this time as he shifted close enough to press a kiss to your arm.

‘Then quit, work for Leo full-time, he’s gotta have something good enough to replace whatever you’re doing now, and I know his hours will be more lenient so-’ He paused, rubbing circles into your stomach as his other hand held on tight. ‘So you can stay with me.’

You laid back down, lip already quivering, and when he saw it his touch he was just as gentle as the night before. ‘You can’t mean that, you don’t know what my life has been like,’ you insisted, no more pretending that you were okay now that you were in his arms.

‘Then tell me,’ he almost begged, but when you refused with a shake of your head he didn’t press further. ‘I still want you to stay, regardless of what you’re not ready to tell me.’

It was the next morning, he was sober, he meant this.

‘I’ll stay,’ you finally gave in as you let the sun rise without going home, your first morning away from her as he pulled you to his chest and didn’t let you go until you’d both fallen asleep again.

You weren’t used to sleeping in, the feeling more comfortable than you remembered when you woke up again in the afternoon, Jack still snoring away without a care in the world. You were able to successfully sneak away that time, but not to find your way home or to work, but to make him breakfast, wanting to do this rather than having to for the first time in your life. You cooked quietly so he could sleep, you didn’t get to bed until close to 5AM once you’d kissed him back, and he didn’t join you until the food was almost ready.

‘Smells delicious, I don’t think I’ve had anyone do this for me before,’ he told you before kissing your shoulder, once again sliding your bra strap down as he pressed himself up against your back. It was strange to feel this wanted, but he made it easy as he located the plates for you and helped set the table. You talked while you ate, your breakfasts usually so quick and quiet before you had to run, but now you never wanted to leave as you watched him try to get through his hangover. He swore that more kisses helped, and you couldn’t disagree with that medical diagnosis between bites of eggs and drinks of coffee.

‘Oh! I have something for you!’ you suddenly remembered when he’d gotten his fill, your bare feet slapping against the hardwood and carpet as you raced back upstairs to find your jacket; when you returned his card was behind your back again, Jack looking interested until you presented it to him. It’d gotten a bit bent over the night, and leaving it trapped under your coat all morning hadn’t helped, but he looked like he loved this gift the most as he stared at the large cartoon owl on the front.

‘Look hoo-s birthday it is,’ he read aloud, your hands wringing as he opened it up and chuckled, ‘hope the party is a real hoot just like you, happy 42nd, with love.’

‘It was the only card with an owl,’ you were quick to explain, and he placed it on display on his mantle in his living room before returning to you.

‘It’s the best card I’ve ever received,’ he insisted as he kissed the top of your head, his arms around you in a long hug, your food going cold as you refused to let go of each other before he could kiss you again.

He drove you to work wearing your dress from last night after that, his clothes not quite fitting you enough to go out in public with them, and after you apologized for the sudden quitting and walked out with your final pay you met him right back in his chair so he could drop you off at home. It was past noon, there was a good chance your mother was out asking around every place of show business in town by now, so you risked being dropped off at least out of sight from any windows. He gave you a quick kiss goodbye, a silent promise that this wasn't going to end now that you were going home, and you gave him a genuine smile as you hopped out of the car and let him drive away so he could talk to Leo about your new potential job.

Your smile lasted all the way to your apartment, your cheeks flushing again as you remembered how it felt to be held and desired and loved until the door opened and you saw your mother standing there, waiting for you.

‘Where have you been? You never came home or even called last night, you show up in the middle of the day wearing the same outfit, you stink of booze and cheap cologne, did you lie to me last night?’ she demanded all at once, and usually you’d be groveling just to get her to leave you alone for a little while longer, say anything that would make her focus back on herself, but you still felt his arms around you, heard him whisper that he wanted you to stay in your ear, and your back straightened as you pushed your hair behind your ear and stood your ground.

‘I told you I’d be out late, I had to drive a co-worker home and ended up crashing on his couch, it’s no big deal, I’m home now,’ you scoffed, your tone not appreciated in the least as she then walked over to inspect you.

She circled you only once, her eyes narrowed as she checked you out for any trace of a lie, and when she stopped in front of you her eyes were cold, unloving. ‘You’re not seeing anyone behind my back again, are you? I thought we talked about this, after that boy tried to convince you to run away from home when you were just a teenager we’d agreed that you wouldn’t see anyone again.’ You remembered it well, the promise only kept because the heartbreak had held you back at the time, while her constant search for enough attention to finally satiate her kept you from ever being able to see anyone else ever again.

Until now.

‘I’m not,’ you lied right to her face, and when she didn’t back down you just sighed and went to take a shower and change. She grabbed your arm, refusing to let you go until you told her the truth, but you wouldn’t let her into your new life, not when you knew what she’d do to everything she could get her hands on if you did. ‘I’m not, and please take your hand off of me.’

She let you go, storming off towards her bedroom now that you were back, and when you’d grabbed some clean clothes and headed for the bathroom she cut you off only once more. ‘I heard that Jack Delroy’s birthday is today, they announced it at the end of the show when I got back from the store, what a coincidence that your boss’ was on the day before,’ she wondered aloud, your face not giving anything away as you held your clothes a little closer to your chest.

‘It was a lot of people’s birthdays yesterday, same with today, none of them have anything to do with me,’ was all you said before walking into the room and shutting the door, and when you undressed in front of the mirror you noticed that Jack had left a hickey on the space where your neck met your shoulder.

Even though you’d both attempted to keep it a secret, word got around very fast that you and Jack were now dating by the time the week was out. Leo had come through for you, now paying you - albeit under the table for now, just to keep your bills paid - to be his personal assistant instead, since Jack was now insisting that he didn’t want to be the boss of his girlfriend. You blushed every single time you heard the title, congratulations coming your way when he officially announced it to the crew that Monday, since everyone was already talking about it and he didn’t want your relationship to just be a rumour. 

In front of everyone, he’d stood center stage and held you close, nearly making you cry again as he confessed his love to you, needing you to know that his desire for you to stay was that true, the thought of you not believing him such a worry to him that he’d rather tell everyone than have you go one more day without hearing him say that he loved you.

As such, you didn’t need to be backstage for him anymore, all your orders coming from Leo throughout the day to prepare, but still you were invited to watch each show, and still you went without fail, Jack stealing kisses during each commercial break like he hadn’t seen you in years instead of minutes. You didn’t know how to be this loved, it was almost suffocating, but it was in the best of ways, one that rivaled the way your mother suffocated you for your entire life. So you clung to him, let him drown you and wash you away until you knew how it felt to be cared for, the time when you were forced to leave him so as to not incur her wrath again the most painful moments of your life.

You couldn’t risk another sleepover, not after you’d just barely gotten away with the first and regrettably last, and you still couldn’t tell him why you had to part, but he was patient with you as he drove away and left you to walk home alone, your car once again left in the lot where she wouldn’t see it. Your life had been easy before, a numbness that you were used to, but living like this, where you now had this entirely secret life with small tastes of what you could always have if you finally just left, it was breaking you worse than anything you’d ever experienced before, and you didn’t know how much longer you could last before you ended up having to choose just one to save yourself.

You knew you needed to decide when you got back from work a few Fridays later for a proper nap after spending all day running around for Leo, your mind torn between trying to figure out how to stay the night after Jack’s upcoming halloween party, your shared favourite time of the year, and how to tell him that you were ready to either take your relationship to the next level or break up with him before your heart finally broke.

As such, you weren't paying attention as you walked into your apartment, your eyes on the ground as you mumbled nonsense to yourself, not noticing that something was wrong until you reached your room and saw the suitcase on your bed. You frowned at it, trying to remember when you’d put it there when your mother appeared behind you, gave you a hug from the back as she rested her chin on your shoulder, her grip so much colder than Jack’s to the point that it made you shiver. ‘New York isn’t working out for me,’ she sighed dejectedly, your mouth going dry as your eyes widened. ‘I thought I might catch my break here, but none of the places I’ve tried are ready for me, so we’ll just have to try again, maybe Chicago might be more successful to us this time.’

‘No,’ you murmured before you could stop yourself, your mother not hiding the way she didn’t like your reply.

‘What did you say?’

‘I can’t go, I’m happy here,’ you told her as you started to panic, the thought of being forced to say goodbye before you were ready hurting more than having to watch him drive away.

‘We’ve talked about this before, I need you to keep supporting me, I can’t do this without you.’ It was an old script, one you knew very well, the words only coming out when you became close to thinking for yourself. ‘Will you really keep me here if I’m not happy?’

‘But…’ You’d never been able to win this one against her before, and she didn’t let you win it again as she dug her nails into your shoulders, her hug over already.

‘I’ve already found us a place, the rent will be cheaper, and the theater I sent my headshots to liked what they saw, so I’m going to need you to keep paying the bills while I audition for plays down there, I think I’ve finally found my calling as a theater actress, don’t you want that for your mother?’ You couldn’t speak, Jack in your vision when you shut your eyes and tried to wake yourself up from this bad dream. ‘This will be the last time, I promise, no more men breaking my heart, no more dead end jobs, just the two of us while I become the star I was always meant to be, doesn’t that sound exciting?’

You shook your head, her nails hurting you as she spun you around, your eyes still shut tight until you felt her hit you; you looked at her as your cheek stung, her own eyes boring holes into you as she clung to you until you started to flinch to escape the pain.

‘You would leave your mother to fend for herself in a brand new city, all alone? Don’t you care about me? I’m the one who birthed you, raised you alone after your father left, let you see so many beautiful things across the country, and now you’re going to tell me no when I’ve finally found something I can be happy about? Don’t I deserve to have my dreams come true, you selfish brat?’ You didn’t know what had set her off before she was hitting you again, your arms coming up to protect yourself from her slapping hands. ‘I’ve sacrificed so much to do all this for you, the least you can do is pay me back!’

‘All I do is pay you back, I never asked for any of this!’ you yelled right back, your attitude now greatly unwanted as she pushed you onto your bed and slammed the door.

‘You can stand to miss a night of work, I keep worrying about you when you don’t get home until almost 2AM, maybe it’s high time you found another day job,’ she all but ordered as she shoved a kitchen chair under your doorknob, locking you in and stopping you from seeing Jack until Monday.

‘You can’t do this! I won’t go to Chicago!’ you screamed at her as you banged your hands on the wood, the chair then met with what sounded like the table as well for extra security, the window your only hope as you unlatched it and opened it up. You tried to fit yourself through but the stairs traveled directly across it, that hadn’t changed in the two months since your arrival, and you had to give up as you tore through your sleeve and cut your arm on the rusted metal. You slowly collapsed onto your bed, rain starting to fall outside and making your room chilly as you stared up at the slivers of cloudy sky up above. ‘Just like prison bars,’ you repeated softly to yourself as a raindrop bounced off the rail and hit you right in the cheek, your chest aching as you finally broke down into your pillow, your single bed so small and cold without him there.

You stopped crying by the time the sun had fully set, your mother watching TV just on the other side of your door, no pity for you no matter if you begged for it or not, and you were not about to do that ever again now that you knew what love felt like. You sat up, the rain still going strong and drenching your sill, your eyes tired as you stared at freedom just beyond the railing. You looked down at your arm when the wet chill made it sting, the rain making the blood run again as the droplets splashed onto the dried river running over your skin. You didn’t feel pain anymore as you watched it go, Jack’s hand appearing in your mind and leaving a trail of warmth as he rubbed it all away, a memory you were going to lose if you didn’t fight for it, and your eyes narrowed as you got onto your knees and took off your shirt.

You needed the space as you tossed it beside you, your skirt then joining it before you were gritting your teeth and attempting to push yourself through the gap again. This time nothing caught, your bare skin able to feel everything and help you angle over the rail, and when your torso was free you tried not to yell in relief as the rain washed over you. You used the stairs to pull yourself out, your leg also getting cut when you got too excited and lost your grip, but you didn’t care, your clothes quickly grabbed and tugged back on before you shut your window from the outside and hurried down the fire escape.

You didn’t stop running until you reached the studio, your entire body soaked and the blood at least washed away as you raced for the set, everyone wondering where you were until you appeared. You walked past them all, needing to get to Leo as he talked with someone about if they’d seen you around since that afternoon, and the moment you got his attention he quickly tried to escourt you somewhere you could talk openly.

‘I need to talk to Jack,’ you told him seriously as you stopped him not two feet into your walk, and he looked you over before nodding and motioning for someone to come over and help you. A coat from the wardrobe rack was placed around your shoulders as Leo openly stepped on stage to whisper something in Jack’s ear, no regard for the show at all in the face of your turmoil, and you watched on the monitor as Jack’s eyes grew wide in worry.

‘I’m sorry, we’re having a bit of technical difficulties backstage, so we’re going to take a quit break to hear from our sponsors while we sort this out,’ he told the audience with a forced smile, and the second the cameras were cut he was rushing back to find you; he was dead silent as he took you in, his hands hovering but not touching as you shivered under the coat, but the moment he saw the blood he froze, his gaze darkening to something dangerous, furious. ‘Who did this to you?’ he demanded, ready to hurt whoever had hurt you, but you just grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him towards the set door, knowing he couldn’t go far as the others gave you some space.

‘I need to tell you something,’ you began as he tried to rub the pain and chill away, your tears unnoticed as they blended in with the rain already wetting your cheeks. ‘I’m moving, tonight.’

‘What? To where? Why didn’t you tell me?’ he asked, the anger instantly melting away to heartbreak, his expression only making this harder in combination with his hands still warming your arms.

‘I can’t say, I’ll call you with the location of Leo’s car when I get far away enough, but I just need to-’

‘Are you in trouble? Is that why you haven’t been letting me visit you? I can protect you, so can Leo, just tell me,’ he tried, but you couldn’t let him, not after your mother had finally crossed that line tonight. So you shook your head, your hands coming up to move his away but he wouldn’t let you go, he couldn’t, not while he was pleading for you to stay. ‘Don’t go, please,’ he whispered as he leaned his forehead against your own, your crying now apparent to everyone as he cupped your cheeks and held you in place.

‘I don’t want to,’ you confessed, your hands moving to his chest so you could push him away and get as far away from your mother as you could, but before you did anything the set door suddenly opened, someone seeing only him and thinking him ready to go back out there. The audience gasped and murmured amongst themselves as they saw you together, Jack shielding you from them as Leo hurriedly shut the door again, the man then stomping off to give someone a very bad scolding. ‘I’m sorry, she might’ve seen me, I have to go-’

Your name drifted through the area as your blood ran cold, Jack feeling the change in you and holding you closer as your mother came into view. You had no time to wonder when she’d gotten there before she was calling your name again in relief, Gus escorting her to you since she’d known who you were and clearly trusting her for that. ‘My sweet girl, so this is where you’ve been getting,’ she cooed as she approached, Jack unsure of what was going on as she soaked up her own personal audience. ‘I’m so sorry for the mess my daughter has gotten into, you see, she’s very unwell, sneaking out in the middle of the night to come here it seems, and no matter how hard I try to keep her safe she just keeps finding a way out.’

It was a boldfaced lie, and you silently begged Jack not to believe her as she held out her hand for you to take. ‘No, no she’s lying, she’s the one who did this to me,’ you insisted as the people who’d become your friends slowly gathered around to figure out what was going on, the show almost forgotten on the other side of the set walls.

‘I placed her in her room for the night and she slipped out the window while I grabbed her dinner, I hope you haven’t been feeding into her delusions- sorry, her fantasies, rather, while she’s been here?’ You couldn’t believe your ears, Jack starting to let go of you as he thought about all your times together, all your secrets in order to keep him safe from her, all of them working against you as she reached for you again. ‘Come now, we’ll get you home and all cleaned up, let’s stop bothering these nice people so they can get back to work.’

‘I work here too,’ you insisted but the damage had been done, everyone looking at you differently as Jack took a step back, handed you over to the woman you’d so desperately tried to escape. ‘Jack, no, please- you said you wanted me to stay!’

‘I’m going to get you some help, I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he promised as your mother began to lead you away, your friends all standing aside so she’d have an easier time, and when the stage door closed you saw Leo yelling at Jack as he just stood there and took it.

You were silent the entire way home, your head resting against the glass as the rain beat against it, your mother equally as silent until you were back in your apartment again. The TV was still on, just a ruse to make you believe she was still there as she waited for you in the only place she was certain you’d go, and she’d been right, you didn’t know how but she was. Now you were back home, forced to move the table and chairs back into place so you could sleep in your damp bed.

‘I’d fix that window for you, but we’ll be moving soon enough, so there’s no point,’ your mother told you as she made herself some tea to combat the chill, your door wide open as you curled back up on your bed. ‘Yes, no need, unless you wanted to stay?’ You flinched but didn’t rise, not wanting to take the bait after what she’d just done to you; she took her cup in hand and sat down at the end of your bed, stirring the sugar in with a spoon as she gazed down at the foamy patterns filming over the surface of the dark liquid. ‘Your little secret is out now, but I’ve known for weeks, a mother always knows when her child is messing around, the mark he left on your shoulder was all the proof I needed.’

‘I’m not a child,’ you muttered numbly, but she ignored it.

‘You really believed he’d fallen for you, but all men are fickle, my dear, which is why we can’t trust any of them in love,’ she continued, her spoon tapping against the rim before she set it on your bed, the remaining tea staining your sheet. ‘Of course, in business, they still have some worth to us.’ You glanced weakly up at her as she took a sip, not wanting her to say what you knew she was going to the moment she was done. ‘I don’t know how you managed it, but my guess is that you seduced Mr. Delroy that night in order to gain his favour, didn’t you?’

‘I didn’t-’

‘You think so, but I saw the dress you came home in, no man could’ve resisted that,’ she stated plainly before taking another sip, your brows furrowing as you fought not to believe her, that Jack had asked you to stay because he’d liked you, not your outfit no matter how many glasses he’d had. ‘So, you seduced him, got on his good side as well as the studio’s, and now you’re going to pay me back with all your hard work.’

You sat up then, her eyes not on you at all as you tried not to cry again. ‘You just ruined my life, took away everything I love, why would I ever want to help you?’ you demanded pitifully, your mother taking another sip before placing the empty cup on your dresser.

‘Because if I start working there then you’ll be able to see him again, even if you will have to act like what I said tonight is true, there’s simply no way they’ll allow you back after the scene you caused, after all.’ You grabbed her by the shirt and forced her to look at you, tears running down your cheeks as she just stared right through you. ‘It’s been a long time since you’ve been this rebellious, but don’t worry, once I become the star I was always meant to be, just as we planned earlier, then you’ll be able to find a dream of your own.’

‘I don’t need a dream, I was happy there,’ you cried as you just held onto her, supporting yourself more than grabbing her as the resignation started to sink in, ‘why couldn’t you just let me have this one thing? What did I ever do to you to make you hate me this much?’

‘Hate you? My dear, I’m your mother, I could never hate you,’ she consoled you with a comforting brush to your cheek, but it held no love or warmth to it at all, just like always. ‘Loathing you, though, that’s another story.’ Her hand fell away as she stood, her spoon and cup left behind as she stood in your doorway and looked coldly down on you. ‘Who gave you the right to steal my life, parade it around for weeks while I wasted away here? Losing him is the only kindness you deserve after all of that, and when he comes around tomorrow you’re going to play the part of my sweet, sickly daughter so I can get close to him to, earn myself my own segment on his show until I can get an hour all to myself, won’t that be divine?’

‘He’ll never want to work with you, he’s a good person,’ you swore, but all the venom was gone as she just smiled hopefully and walked off for her room, your body growing heavy as you fell back down onto your side and cried until you were numb again.

You were still in bed when he came, someone else letting him in since he didn’t know your apartment number, that same someone more than likely giving him directions up to your lodgings. You didn’t move, too exhausted to get up and have him believe her again, and you wished you had the energy to at least shut your door as you watched your mother hurry to let him in when he knocked. She looked good as she passed through your vision, dressed to impress just as always, and you knew you looked a pathetic mess as you just stared at the wall and tried to block out the sound of his voice when confusion met your ears instead.

‘I’m sorry, who are you?’

‘Leo Fiske, producer of Night Owls and your daughter’s ex-boss, I just need to ask some questions to see if the studio wants her to reimburse all the money she’s been receiving under false pretenses,’ he explained in a tone you hadn’t heard before, your brows furrowing as your mother let him in. He appeared in your doorway and shut the door behind him, and you were in the middle of getting ready to explain that you had no money to pay him back when he spoke first. ‘Thank you for your time, I’m sure we’ll be able to sort through this as painfully as possible! Get up.’ He hissed the last part through his teeth, his voice switching from loud and boasting to as quiet as possible as you just stared, and he motioned for you to stand as he started going through your drawers without making a sound. ‘It’s a substantial amount, but if we explain your case to the higher ups I’m certain they’ll knock some of it off! He’s coming, get up.’

You listened that time, helping him find you some clean clothes before stripping down in front of him when he seemed very unbothered by the sight of your undergarments in the top drawer. ‘Why are you doing this?’ you whispered as you tossed your dirty clothes aside, Leo holding up a blouse to you before shaking his head and going for something else instead.

‘Because Jack’s an idiot, I told you he was gullible, that man would sell his soul if the contract was worded just right,’ he muttered quietly, and you believed him as he picked out an outfit and turned away so you could pull on some clean underwear and a new bra.

‘So, you don’t believe her?’ It was almost too good to be true, Leo turning on his heel to help you do up the zipper on the back of your shirt the moment you had it on.

‘Fuck no, I called that horseshit the second she opened her mouth, that woman is a terrible actor,’ he told you as he zipped you up, a comb coming out of nowhere to fix up your hair a little. ‘Look, he meant well last night, but I kicked his ass for you after you left, so don’t give him too hard a time when he arrives; I left the moment he called me, and he has zero ability to handle downtown traffic so we’ve got about three minutes to talk.’

‘She’s trying to blackmail me into getting her a job.’

‘Yeah, I figured that, a good producer can always sniff out the narcissistic types.’

‘She’s always done this, but I’ve never had the courage to fight back until… I met all of you,’ you confessed, Leo spinning you around to fluff your hair and wipe some smudges from your cheeks.

‘That’s because you’re a Night Owl, knew you were the moment you wanted the job, so you get out there when he comes and you knock that bitch on her ass, you hear me?’ He clapped his hands over your arms in encouragement, and when another knock came to the door he quickly excused himself so Jack wouldn’t see him leaving your room. ‘There you are, already talked to her about the repayment, so you can do whatever business you’ve got with them now.’

‘Repayment?’ Jack’s voice was confused but still sounded like music to your ears as you willed your heart to not beat out of your chest, your feet moving on their own as you stepped out into the living room to face him. He looked tired, his usual joy at seeing you quickly quelled by the shame of how he’d let the night before end, and it took all your strength not to go to him and tell him it was okay, you understood. ‘I, uh, I still want to help in any way I can, are there any treatment centers I can help pay for, or perhaps drive her to?’ he asked your mother, that not the answer she wanted to hear as she swayed her way over to him.

‘It means so much to us that you’ve grown so fond of her, Mr. Delroy, ever since her father left things have been hard for us, money has been tight; if you truly wish to help then a more- stable income would be very advantageous to us both,’ she led, Leo putting his head in his hand behind her back as he just kept seeing right through her. 

‘I can ask around, see if anyone has any positions open?’ he suggested, and for a moment you were worried that he was still buying into it when he looked at you; you saw the switch between showman and himself, his true self that he’d shown you while he laid in bed across from you. He may have bought it the night before but he wasn't now that he was able to see you without the rush of the timeframe and the stares of his crew. ‘But in the meantime, I’d really like to get her in a more suitable place, somewhere she can be taken care of where she won’t hurt herself again, and I’d like to get that done today, if you don’t mind.’

‘Wha- today? But we haven’t discussed all of our business yet,’ she was quick to decline, and when she went to grab onto you to keep you still, Leo moved just as fast to put himself between the two of you.

‘We can discuss it another time, you just give us your contact info and we’ll call you back,’ he muttered flatly as he herded you towards Jack, your mother starting to catch on when he then left you to toss everything you owned into the suitcase still laying on your floor.

‘Wait a minute, you can’t take my daughter away from me,’ she frowned angrily, your hand reaching for Jack when she stepped in front of you to stop you. ‘You can’t leave me, you remember the last time you tried that, don’t you? What child leaves her poor mother all alone like this for someone who’ll only break her heart again?’

‘I’m not a child!’ you yelled in her face, Leo smirking to your right as he leaned against your doorframe, suitcase in hand. Jack just stared, not wanting to get between you but not about to leave you again, and you borrowed his strength as you stood up tall and sucked in a deep breath. ‘I’m a grown woman! I’m almost 40 fucking years old, and I will not let you hurt me anymore!’

‘Hurt you? I am your mother, I would never-’

‘Dragging me across the country, using me to pay your bills, never letting me have a life of my own, and now trying to make it seem like I’m broken just so you can step in front of the cameras? I’m not broken, no matter how hard you try you can never break me, and for once in my life I’m choosing to stay with people who actually give a damn about me!’ Your shoulders shook as you cried, but not in misery this time, you were crying because you were angry, Leo giving you a few slow claps before heading for the door, a cigarette already lit as he carried your suitcase to the car for you, so certain that you’d follow that he never looked back. You’d let her rule your life for too long, and she’d managed to talk you out of it before but not this time, not when he was right there, waiting for you even though he knew everything.

There was nothing left to keep from him, your abuse out in the open and explaining everything you’d kept from him, and he just smiled at you as he held out his hand for you to take.

‘What will you do when this ends? All men leave in the end, and this one’s in showbusiness, you think he won’t find someone younger and prettier than you the moment you hold onto him too hard?’ she demanded to know like he wasn't even there, Jack knowing better than to argue even though you knew he never would. Even if he fell out of love with you someday it would never be for those reasons, and as you took a step forward you knew that he might not even fall out of love with you as he mouthed the words to you again as his final plea for you to stay.

‘I’ll figure that out without you, then,’ was all you said, and then you were shoving past her to throw yourself into his arms. He held you close as he kissed the top of your head, your mother yelling insults and begging you not to go as you cried against his chest, and when he turned and led you out you didn’t stop until you reached his car and climbed into the passenger seat, Jack kissing you properly the moment his own door closed.

You had no idea if your mother stayed in New York after you finally left her, several calls to the studio to find you going ignored, her picture everywhere as she was banned from the premises. You moved into Leo’s house for the first few weeks, that final step between you and Jack making you both blushing messes at the thought of living together so soon and stopping it from happening. Leo was fine with that, his house was empty most of the time anyway so you were free to rest up there while the restraining order was put into motion, one of his many spare bedrooms becoming your own as they, along with your other new friends, took care of you for once.

The matter was cleared up around the studio, the news catching hold of the entire story after the camera had accidentally caught you along with the audience; suddenly you found yourself everywhere, your mother attempting to cash in on that only for Leo to step in and nip it all in the bud. You were constantly surprised by how much influence this random man had, but you were grateful for it all the same as he pushed you out the door and into Jack’s arms so he could take you shopping for some new clothes, your wallet full of his so-called petty cash again.

It was almost scary how accustomed to your new life you became, how fast you got used to stretching out in bed and waking whenever you wanted, Jack always a phone call or a drive away, no more bars or rails stretching across your windows as you threw them open and breathed in the fresh, October air. Halloween was coming up, and this time the party was going to be at Jack’s house after his special Spooktacular show, as he was now calling it. The guests were all booked, you’d bought decorations for the set with him already even though Leo told him to leave it to the set designers, and currently you were chatting about what he was going to wear before his costume change halfway through the show as you sat at the drive-in with him to see the latest horror flick.

He already ate away at your shared popcorn as the screen showed a bunch of cartoon characters grabbing snacks from the concession stand, the turnout not as busy since home viewing was on the rise, but you liked it that way as you leaned in closer to him. ‘I think it’d be cute if you gave away candy to the audience as they arrived,’ you thought aloud, once again attempting to stop him from eating all your treats before the movie even started, ‘or maybe you could do a draw and some lucky people could get candy apples, I hear those are tasty.’

‘You’ve never had one before?’ he asked around another mouthful of popcorn, the sun nearly set and signaling that the movie was going to start soon.

‘Never got a chance to trick ‘r treat thanks to her, I’ve only ever handed out candy if I could afford to buy a bag for the kids,’ you explained, no longer afraid to keep everything to yourself.

‘I’ll set something up at the studio, then we can go around to the different sets and offices and get you some candy,’ he promised seriously, and you laughed as you had some popcorn for yourself.

‘Thank you, but I think I’ll survive,’ you giggled, although the thought of visiting Leo’s office in costume only for him to give you a pack of smokes or a travel-sized bottle of alcohol and then shut the door in your face sure sounded tempting. ‘Jack, can I tell you something?’ you then asked, your hand finding his when he reached for more popcorn. ‘I never thought I’d get out of there, my whole life I thought that that was it, that I’d missed my chance to leave and that this was my punishment, but… meeting you, getting the job on Night Owls, knowing what it’s like to be actually wanted for the first time, I don’t know, sometimes I still think I might be dreaming.’

He looked at you for a long while, really taking you in before getting you to look at him. ‘One of our guests, the illusionist, you remember him? He taught me a little phrase to say when I think that all of this is just a dream,’ he confided in you in return, and you leaned in a little closer as he lowered his voice. ‘Say it with me: Dreamer. Here. Awake.’

‘Dreamer, here, awake,’ you repeated, and when the dream didn’t end he tapped you on the nose as proof before kissing your forehead.

‘See? Sometimes what’s too good to be true is just what we can’t let ourselves accept, so we tell ourselves otherwise until we lose it; now, I don’t want to lose you, so you’d better start accepting that this is reality, okay?’ he whispered gently to you, his buttery hand finding your cheek and making you giggle again because it was too silly to be just a dream.

‘This is reality,’ you agreed, and when he kissed you he tasted of the popcorn he’d all but devoured by himself. It was sweet at first, but the more you kept pulling each other back for more the more you knew you were ready, Jack panting lightly when you finally resisted the urge to kiss him again. ‘Can I tell you something else?’ you breathed against his lips, and when he nodded you shut your eyes. ‘I want you to be my first.’

He already knew about your inexperience by now, how you wanted to move slow with him while you got used to everything, so there was no rushing you as he bit at his lip and looked you seriously in the eye.

‘Are you sure?’ he needed to know, and when you nodded he set the popcorn onto the floor between your legs and started the car back up. ‘We can see this another time, it just came out,’ he decided as he drove away, both of your hearts pounding as he headed back home right as the opening credits started to roll.

You were thankful he lived near the drive-in, a choice on his part since he loved movies so much but never committed to a U-Matic like Leo, and the moment you walked through the door you were kissing each other again. ‘Hi,’ you mumbled nervously, Jack echoing your greeting as you both took off your outdoor clothes and made your way upstairs. You hadn’t slept over since that night, not even when you started stealing Leo’s spare, but his bed was just as warm and comfortable as you remembered as he lifted your dress over your head and laid you down on it. 

You thought he was beautiful as he stripped off his sweater, the weather getting colder and making him switch from suits to warm wool, the thick shape of it doing nothing to hide the way his body curved so wonderfully under your palms. You silently asked for him to join you as he stepped out of his pants, your mouths meeting again as he gently brushed his thumb over your cheek. ‘I’m glad you stayed,’ he finally told you as he lay next to you, his hand resting on your waist as the silent question of what to do next came over you. 

‘I’m glad I did too.’

He pulled you closer, his fingers much more dextrous this time as he undid the latch on your bra, your hands covering yourself before he whispered silent affirmations to you, never to make you do anything you didn’t want to, but just to tell you it was okay, you could stop whenever you wanted. You didn’t want to stop though, your hand finding his in the dark before guiding it down to your breast, and the resulting sound he brought out of you was one you’d never heard yourself make before. He was encouraged to keep going, keep making you feel good as he shifted down enough to take a nipple into his mouth, your fingers tangling in his hair as you shut your eyes and moaned.

You whispered his name as he then trailed his hand over the expanse of your stomach, fingers brushing against the lace of your underwear but never going further, and again you guided him to do more, your breath hitching as he touched you for the first time. Your hips started to move as he began kissing your neck, his index pressing just just hard enough to part you through your panties, a longing like you’d never known overtaking you as you weakly asked for more. He obliged your every whim, finally reaching in to touch you even more intimately, your brain torn between the way he sucked marks into your skin and how he was making your thighs shake with each circle of your clit.

‘Please, I want you…’ you murmured as your head fell back, the tears already starting to fall because you’d never known warmth like this before, and he kissed every one away as he reached down even further to enter you. It was strange at first, your back arching as your mind fought to understand how something could feel so good, Jack still whispering those affirmations to you about how good you were doing for him as he gently stretched you open for him. When he added a second finger you almost couldn’t take it, everything so good that you didn’t know how it could feel any better, a careful but constant brush of his palm against your clit pushing you over the edge as he swallowed down every noise.

‘You did so well for me,’ he praised you as he slowed to a halt, but you weren’t done, you could feel his hardness press needily against your leg, your eyes glazing over for just a moment as you reached down to not only stop him from removing his hand but to also start to push his boxers down his hips.

‘I said I wanted you.’ You swallowed heavily when he couldn’t help but groan, he’d been content with helping you and then taking care of himself at this step, but there’d be a time for you to return the favour later, for tonight you wanted to be one with him. He asked you if you were sure again, and you answered him by taking off your panties and tossing them to the floor with the rest of your clothes. He swore under his breath before doing the same, Jack then reaching into his nightstand to pull out a small bottle of something. He popped the cap and poured a little into his palm, and you couldn’t help but watch as he groaned again and began to coat his length with it, his hand next to your arm fisting the sheets as his breathing started to quicken.

He looked down at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen as he parted your legs, lifting them to your chest for just a moment as he lined himself up to you. He preferred to brace his hands under your thighs as he slowly pushed in, his choked off moan filling the room along with your own as he leaned down until you were almost chest to chest. He needed the closeness, wanted to be so near to you that it almost hurt, his hips still as he let you adjust to him. When you wrapped your arms around his neck and gave a small squeeze to his shoulder he knew he could move, his pace just right as he let his head fall to the pillows right beside yours.

He rocked into you, making love to you more than fucking you, and you didn’t let go of him as he kissed your neck and cheek whenever the angle allowed him to. He mumbled promises of forever into your skin, and when you wrapped your legs around him he was finally free to let go of your legs to hold you elsewhere instead, one hand braced on your hip while the other massaged and felt and clung to whatever he could reach.

‘I love you,’ he breathed into your ear, more tears falling as you felt your orgasm approach again, the preparations from before feeling nothing like this as you felt complete for the first time in your life. ‘I love you so much, stay with me, here, from now on.’

‘I will, I will,’ you promised him, Jack finding your mouth to kiss you and seal the deal as you came again, the way you clenched around him only making him come that much faster right after you. It felt like an eternity of bliss as he hips slowly stopped, Jack taking his sweet time rolling off of you and making you think that he would’ve spent all night with you underneath him if he didn’t think it would be uncomfortable for you, so you gave him the next best thing by draping yourself over him, leaving no space between your slightly shaking bodies.

‘I love you, too,’ you confessed against his chest, another kiss to the top of your head making one final tear fall as you felt nothing but pure, uncontained happiness.

‘I wasn't kidding, I want you to move in with me,’ he revealed as he stretched out, his arm wrapped around you and keeping you close when he feared you might get up at his words. ‘I’ve been talking to Leo about it all week, after the Halloween show I want to introduce you to all the Night Owls out there, and then we can move all your things over here before the party.’ He went quiet for a moment, unsure by your silence, and when he looked down at you you took a moment to kiss him again, never wanting it to end as he cupped your cheek. ‘I want you to make this place your home.’

‘I want nothing more than that,’ you just barely kept from sobbing, Jack’s smile wide as his relief made him sigh.

‘We’ll do that, then,’ he confirmed, your head back on his chest as he rubbed circles into your shoulder. ‘Don’t forget to dress up for the show, it is Halloween, after all.’

‘I’ve never dressed up before, what should I go as?’ you asked, Jack pretending to think about it for just a moment before biting his lip.

‘How about Dracula’s bride?’ he suggested, knowing fully well that he was already going on set dressed as a vampire, his costume picked out earlier that day.

‘That sounds perfect to me, we can pick it up tomorrow.’

Again, he held you until you both fell asleep, the previously neverending feeling of running finally at an end as he nuzzled against you in his sleep; you were happy there, the bed large around you as you both took up just the middle, the windows wide open and allowing in the night air as you were lulled into your own comfortable sleep.

You were free.

[mgnifique-tion]

— worlds apart.

summary || ``sometimes, genuine love isn’t enough for two to let things stay the same.``

pairing: 2012-2013!loki x gn!scientist!reader song recommendations: love you with all my heart – crush lowercase is intended… » part 1 | part 2

— themes and warning/s: angst yet slightly happy ending (?) somewhere in the middle, forbidden love, thorki happy ending (brotherly,, i can't believe i have to put brotherly in this one)

— a/n: finally, the last part is finished! this took me a while to post bc haha, i graduated and got a job (GOAT fr) 🎓 and idk, i'm not really awesome w the time management (un-GOATified) and i also wasn't happy with my first draft of this so i had to write a whole new second half 😭 but ig if you guys want the other - much happier ending, you can boost this up to 20 reblogs (that would be very great!! thx!! 🤘) and i'll post it right away bc it's already written anyway!!

— edit: check out the song rec,,, it’s magnificent. idk what koreans ate to make good OST 😭 + there's a noticeable timeskip from when loki returned to asgard and his imprisonment there + it was also before frigga's passing :(

[ total words: 2.5k ]

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loki left...

but at what cost?

now, you were standing in front of him while he was locked away in the cell provided by s.h.i.e.l.d. and he glared at you coldly, just like how he looked at you the first time. but right now, loki’s mind couldn’t unwrap around the fact that you had turned him in… or at least, that’s what he thought happened since he’s known betrayal far worse than everyone else, not even thor.

“loki.” you placed your palm against the glass as he looked away, a frown plastered over his face as a scowl escaped his lips. he really thought you were set apart from all the humans who were terrified of him, the humans who had surrounded him, and the humans who fired weapons stronger than bullets at him.

but in the end, you were still human… and he hated it badly. “you betrayed me,” loki spoke out, “... you don’t know the extent of your power, do you?”

and those first three words he uttered broke you. how could he think you betrayed him? for god’s sake, you’ve kissed him without thinking twice! you’ve followed his rules without complaining! you’ve eaten a midnight meal with him on the top of a mountain and talked to him about the little girl you failed to save… your little sister.

why on earth would he think that you, out of all people, have turned into a traitor?

“loki,” you said his name once more but in a softer manner, “look, you’re not seeing this right. i would never turn you in–”

“i am seeing it clearly.” he grunted, still not looking at you. he couldn’t dare to look at you after that godforsaken kiss; so heavenly to feel but so hellish to remember. “y/n, i–,” he had to cut himself off, knowing that he’s just called you by your name. the name that every friend would address you by. the name that would remind him that there was this closeness between both of you at one point.

for a short amount of time, he’d want to spend more with you but the universe had told him it was too big of a risk. “... i shouldn’t have set you free… i never expected you to be in front of me right now,” he solemnly whispered, now knowing the consequences of falling for a human. after all, how unethical would it be for a god to fall for some earthly creature? 

he found you beautiful in so many ways that he just couldn’t let himself not feel your lips, his mind overly consumed by the imagination of just taking you, claiming his place in you, and turning you as the right hand to his throne.

having you by his side; that was his fantasy. an everlasting one. 

and this fueled his rage even more against his older brother, who could love a human while he had to be kept in this cage, desperately reaching his hands out to you while the windows shielded you from him as if he was some beast; only allowed to watch but never touch. “you’re mine!” he growled loudly, now staring into your eyes while his fist banged against the glass, making you flinch. “... you were supposed to be mine.” 

as selfish and ridiculous as he may have sounded, saying those words broke him. it shattered him. the truth will always shatter the wall of lies he’s made for himself.

when you thought this situation couldn’t get any worse, you heard thundering footsteps from behind, almost as if it was approaching you. on the other side of the glass, loki’s eyes darkened, a familiar smirk creeping up his face like he’s worn a mask. “... so, you’ve taken l/n away from me as well? how generous.” the god of mischief’s voice was mixed with bitterness and disguised wrath as you turned around and saw the storm’s mighty warrior. 

“listen, brother,” thor called his name with a hint of hope, “that doctor did not turn you in, they just wanted to pay you a visit.”

of course loki didn’t believe him. in fact, loki couldn't; the god of mischief had been lied to many times before he turned his back against those same liars. “if they hadn’t turn me in, then why am i here? why are they not with me? why are they standing next to you outside of this room!?” jealousy seeped into the cracks of his mask, the reality of his emotions destroying himself.

he couldn’t bear seeing his brother standing next to you. “because you’re a criminal,” you spoke up, breaking the silence after loki just shouted at thor’s face. taking another step closer to the glass, you stated, “loki, you’ve taken me hostage and you kissed me–”

“no, you kissed me,” loki claimed.

“because you told me to!” you clarified.

“and you desired it.” he insisted.

while both of you fought, thor stood right beside you with a rather awkward stance, forced to listen to his younger, fucked in the head brother express how much he wanted you to be his. needless to say, it was an unpleasant discussion to witness all in real-time. “enough!” roared the mighty god of thunder, catching both of your attention at the speed of lightning.

but the argument didn’t stop there. “you tell me that i left an effect on you but you’re so full of yourself that you wouldn’t let this go.” and anger found you at that moment, showing loki all the consequences of his actions; what world domination led him to. 

“... my god, loki,” you uttered hopelessly, “you know you don’t have to do this. it never had to be like this.”

in those hours you’ve been around him, you knew that you weren’t the only one controlled by such power. his every move had to be right – had to make the plan progress or else, all things fail and by now, you’ve already noticed that loki so despised it.

loki so desperately didn’t want to bring the whole order down.

“please, your brother is willing to give us a chance–”

“if this is an attempt to persuade me to stop, you’re not doing so well at all.”

of course loki wasn’t quite fond on hearing about what his brother thought about the two of you. he couldn’t care less about him anymore; whether he truly wanted it or not, the plan will push through. 

this world will be molded in his hands and his horns will be everyone’s crucifix. 

so, you tried one more time. “... you already have power over me,” you admitted, your voice trembling in shame and pride. thor, who now stood behind you, couldn’t bear listening to this but he couldn’t help but think that his brother was turning you down over his ruling despite needing clarity that all he needed was love. “is that not enough?”

and there was coldness after the fire, filling in the entire room as you waited. there wasn’t enough patience for loki anymore but you kept on holding on because you had to. if this was the only way you could persuade him to stop all of this, then you had to do it.

if you couldn’t save her before, maybe you could save the people she’s left behind.

but there was no response as the alarms had gone off. agents from around the area had already told the rest of the avengers that dr. banner had turned into the emerald beast and you just had to be kept away from loki’s cell to prevent further damage yet what they didn’t know was that loki had given you a promise: that not even a finger from him would leave a bruise on your skin.

a promise that he continued to stand by even if it’s too late.

“forgive me, doctor.” he closed his eyes for a moment, letting his sorrow sink deeper into his hardened heart. soon, his irises stared into his open palm, determination floating above his guilt. 

“but this can’t be stopped.”

not even an hour later, his cell opened and chaos ensued in the rest of manhattan. creatures from other worlds led, buildings – new and old – fell, and the six were united and formed to defend the planet while the people genuinely thought that the end of the world had come for them; all because of the god with that damn scepter.

unfortunately, he ended up receiving a sentence from his father.

“you have a visitor.” the gentle voice of the woman who stood next to you called onto him. the god was facing away from the window, which exposed him to the other prisoners. those who have been imprisoned just like him no longer treated him with respect; after all, how could the son of odin do such a thing?

yet that was the entire problem: he was not odin’s son. not anymore. “a visitor?” he laughed at the idea of it, believing that no one would dare to visit him at this point. even for him, it was a surprise that his mother was doing that exact thing now after everything that happened.

he never meant to make it this far.

all he wanted was to end his pain but in return, he brought it to everyone.

“and who would that be, mother?”

“... a friend of yours. from midgard.”

the moment that damned planet was mentioned, he lifted his head from the floor, slowly turning around. his pupils dilated at the sight of you standing next to his mother as hundreds of questions broke into his mind. but one question remained unanswered: how on earth did you reach asgard?

“... you.” his gaze, voice, and demeanor softened. the idea of you visiting him in an outer space prison was weakening his cold heart on the spot. 

his mother stared at her son before shifting her gaze at you, giving you a small nod. “i’ll leave you both alone. thank you for visiting him…” she thanked you, taking the steps further away from you, the glass, and her imprisoned son after you returned her with a smile. it was the first time in months that loki had actually looked at someone with vulnerability showing in every crevice of his whole being.

carefully, you went up the short steps of the stairs in front of the glass, walking closer to him as you watched him do the same. “... your brother allowed me to pay you a visit,” you spoke, earning yet another one of those sarcastic laughs he always had. 

“oh, i don’t believe you,” he stated blatantly, “thor would never allow such a thing–”

“it was because he found me crying… about you.” you interrupted him, which silenced him right away. after his sentence had been announced around the headquarters, it felt as if a piece of your heart went missing, a void just forming right there. you never planned to visit him; what he did to manhattan was horrible, the entire world could’ve been put at stake if the black order continued.

but thor insisted after hearing you cry alone in your respective office.

“... well.” he shrugged, chuckling at the thought of it. “it’s unsurprising that he wanted you to see me like this,” he expressed as he looked at how much of a mess he was already, his palms resting against each other before placing them both behind his back. “... was it to embarrass me? in front of you?”

you shook your head and told him sternly, “no.”

he was yet taken aback once more, tilting his head to the side in confusion. he’s always believed his brother would only allow things to interact with him if it’ll shame him to the fullest. shame him for all the things he’s done. all the harm he’s caused.

“are you…” he paused, his throat drying up in anxiety. “... are you ashamed of me?”

it was rare for the god to ever ask someone that question. loki’s already made up his mind: he’s unloved, uncared for. a cunning, manipulative being who played with his subjects, leaving no room for regret in his heart.

but for the first time, he felt afraid of what you felt about him.

because all he wanted to be was to be next to you. to feel you. 

to hold the soft palms of your hands in his and never let them go ever again.

and again, you shook your head and placed your palm over the glass. “i could never be ashamed of you even if i wanted to,” you responded softly as loki’s breath hitched. “... but the things you did– they are… just… wrong...” you didn’t dare to say more as you watched how despair filled his gaze, his approaching hand further away from the glass as if he couldn’t see himself being with you. loki, in this very moment, was forced to swallow and embrace the truth – that the idea of you and him will always remain an idea because of what he did.

so, you’ve lowered your palm, too.

loki turned his back and walked away, his mind taken over by regret. if only he had met you differently, things wouldn’t have been like this. if only he hadn’t been so angry at his known family for keeping such a secret from him, you would’ve been his. if only things had been different, you could’ve been in his embrace right at this very moment.

but he knew that none of those would matter. “you should go.” the god denied himself of this privilege, which was something you didn’t want as you shook your head. you swore to never leave him; not in this state at least.

“and please,” he begged breathlessly as he kept his head down. “... live happily for me.” 

and the entire hall fell silent again. even the others seemed tense, listening to the words exchanged by both you and the god. 

“but i want to stay… i still love you.” those were the only words that could come out of your mouth at the moment, protesting hopelessly. 

“... it’s too late.” his voice trembled at the mention of it and before you could say anything back, his brother entered, catching your attention. with a single nod from him, you knew that it was best to follow the avenger instead of staying longer. after all, you were not part of their world… and neither should loki be a part of yours.

the god’s gaze lingered on you as the moment you were gone, he closed his eyes shut for a while until he realized that thor watched him. “what? are you glad that this happened? glad that i pushed them away for them to be finally free from this? for them to be happy?” loki snapped, scoffing at his brother’s observant glare. in response, thor just sighed deeply, slightly leaning against the glass.

“you do truly love them… if you want, i'll watch them for you. i’ve never expected you to love a human since you weren’t fond of the idea.” it took loki a long pause before he knew that his older brother really was willing to protect you from danger as long as he’s in prison because somehow, they both knew that he’ll escape someday. 

and for the first time, his lips curled into a tiny smile. “thank you… brother.”

[manikas-whims]

how do you manage LADS as F2P? I'm having a hard time collecting gems 😭 is so difficult compared to games like genshin

Okay so..i know it sounds difficult (IT IS) but it's not impossible.

the grind can be heartbreakingly annoying..i know! Before i used to find grinding in Genshin and HSR difficult but its..so doable and easier compared to Love and Deepspace 😭

Their constant barrage of Banner after Banner is another issue especially when they don't even run for long. FOMO gets to a lot of people who find it hard to spend due to personal reasons, which is just unfair. IMHO, every limited card banner should run for at least 30 Days.

And i think these are issues that should be thrown at the Devs every once in a while. So fill out the survey forms whenever available and list all your grievances to them. LADS isn't exactly F2P friendly.

-> However, with the launch of version 2.0, they're trying new stuff and giving out a bunch of Free 5 star memories as well as materials. So thats..something ig

It's also a fairly new game, one of a kind sorta thing..so i wanna give them the benefit of the doubt. They're still trying to find their way around things and i hope they gradually add better stuff for grinding of materials and gems. (Abyssal Chaos counts as one)

As for playing as F2P, here's how I do it..

If you can spend a little, then i suggest atleast buying the Aurum Pass (i have). It ain't much but it increases stamina cap to 170. And gives 100 gems + 60 stamina daily

only make pulls on a banner when you absolutely want that limited card

save up the red gems & empyrean wishes (blue tickets) for your bias/fav LI & make pulls only for his banners (unless you absolutely want a card of another)

Use your stamina daily. Don't let it stay full. Like expend at least 80 stamina in the morning. Then play again in the evening with a nearly full stamina cap.

Focus on one LI at a time & grind materials for him only. For example, i am a Xavier main so i expend 80 stamina for the yellow/green stellactrums (ascension material | fight Lemonette) and another 60~80 on the EXP bottles (experience material | fight Heartbreaker)

DON'T WASTE MATERIALS ON 3 STAR. You can waste them on 4 star cards but I don't suggest upgrading them more than Level 40 unless absolutely necessary (i.e. you don't have any other card options)

Fight Mr. Beanie once or twice regularly! You also need that gold to upgrade your memories.

And then of course, the achievements, completing a 5 Star memory story, tender moments and secret times also give gems.

Once a week try to grind for Protocores. Even your maxxed out 5 star memories are useless without good protocores. (50 : 100 ratio between crit. rate & crit. damage is ideal) And ofc, upgrade those protocores from time to time.

This all sounds like a lot but takes less than 20 minutes to do daily..And yes, you'll find some full length guides on Reddit & Youtube.

HOPE THIS HELPS YOU ANON ♡

[yletylyf]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook timeline

I put this together for my own use while writing my fic, but haven't seen anyone else share one, so here goes!

This is live-drama canon, not novel canon. I don't speak much Chinese; I followed iqiyi's subtitles which are rather awful. Additions/suggestions/comments/corrections more than welcome!

As should be expected for a comprehensive timeline of all pre-canon events, this is not spoiler free. Below the cut, as it's long:

Timeline

130 years ago:

Princess Longxuan is born, in the year of Ren Yin, Wu Shen month, Geng Jia day, at the hour of Geng Chen. [It could be any year of Ren Yin, but since it has to be more than a hundred years ago, this one is the only one that makes sense.]

100 years ago:

The night before Nanyin was overturned, Princess Longxuan marries Crown Prince Fangji, the eldest son of Emperor Xicheng, granduncle of the current emperor. Princess Longxuan becomes Consort Xuan. Consort Xuan secretly initiates the revival of Nanyin and plots to use the Rama Vessel.

Prince Fangji conspires against Emperor Xicheng and fails. He is ordered to commit suicide. Consort Xuan is sentenced to be buried with Prince Fangji.

Princess Longxuan writes a letter to magician Feng A-Lu asking him to save her son at the bamboo forest. She tells him to contact Jin Yu Huang Quan and revive Nanyin.

Nanyin craftsmen build their tomb and Nanyin sorcery hides it for 100 years.

The throne passes to Emperor Guanqing.

Feng A-Lu does not meet Princess Longxuan's son. He goes to kill the imperial family and falls in love with Consort Ying instead. They have a son who Consort Ying passes off as the emperor's son. Feng A-Lu is buried in the collapse of the Pagoda of Bliss.

Jin Yu Huang Quan did not revive Nanyin. They used the amassed wealth for themselves and passed the Rama ices onto the next generations.

Unknown time:

Li Xiangyi's parents save Qi Mushan.

Bandits attack the Li family; Li Xiangyi and his older brother are the only survivors.

25 years ago:

Teenage Shan Gudao finds four-year old Li Xiangyi and his older brother on the streets. Older brother dies.

Qi Mushan rescues Shan Gudao and Li Xiangyi and brings them to Yunyin mountain.

20 years ago:

The Feng clan, having searched for Princess Longxuan's descendant for over a hundred years, learns that her grandson had a ten-year-old son who is presently studying under Qi Mushan.

[Note Shan Gudao is over twenty and Li Xiangyi is nine or ten at this time, but anyway:]

The Feng clan takes Shan Gudao as the long-lost descendant of Princess Longxuan.

Ostensibly 18 years ago, but probably more like 21 or 20:

[Note there is some debate about how old Fang Duobing is supposed to be. Di Feisheng claims he has a letter showing that Fang Duobing's parents broke up 18 years ago while He Xialan was pregnant, but other sources state he is 20 at the time of the show]

He Xialan was in a relationship with Shan Gudao. They break up while she is pregnant. Fang Duobing is born a few months later, and Tianji Hall announces Xialan has died of illness. Fang Duobing is raised by Xialan's older sister and her husband as their own.

15 years ago:

The Demon of the Blood Realm challenges Li Xiangyi and Qiao Wanmian begs him to give Li Xiangyi one more year.

14 years ago:

Li Xiangyi passes Qi Mushan's test. He receives the Shaoshi sword. He departs the mountain for the first time.

Shan Gudao and Li Xiangyi go to rescue the He family of the Changma Blade sect, who was massacred by Dongling Three Gang for the cloud iron. They find one survivor, a child, and take him to Louyang. Shan Gudao ditches Li Xiangyi and kills the kid.

Li Xiangyi defeats the Demon of the Blood Realm.

At an unknown time between 15 and 10 years ago:

Di Feisheng, Wuyan, King Bai of Fire, Four-faced Qingzun, and King Zunming of Yama found the Jinyuan alliance. Di Feisheng makes his first famous kill: the Monk of the Blood Realm, Kuang Jiezi. He removes the Golden Jade hoops from his staff and hangs them on his dao as a trophy.

Li Xiangyi fights with Wuyou and nicks the Shaoshi sword to avoid killing him.

The 12 Guardians join the Jinyuan alliance just before Jiao Liqiao does.

Jiao Liqiao was following Li Xiangyi around. A girl from Fengling Sword Sect provoked Jiao Liqiao and she massacres the Fengling Sword sect. Li Xiangyi stops her and attempts to kill her, but Di Feisheng saves Jiao Liqiao.

13 years ago:

Li Xiangyi establishes the Sigu Sect. Sigu sect makes an agreement with the court dividing the affairs of the people and the affairs of the jianghu. Everyone agrees to follow the legal code of Da Xi.

Scholar Sushou robs the imperial mausoleum in the south of the capital.

Di Feisheng rescues Jiao Liqiao from a gang led by Guishou Fenglie, whose martial arts techniques she tried to steal. Di Feisheng was just there to challenge the gang leader for his spot on the martial arts rankings.

12 or 11 years ago:

Just before Li Xiangyi turns 18, Shan Gudao gives him the Wenjing sword as a birthday present.

At the age of 18, Li Xiangyi acquires Yangzhouman.

11 years ago:

Sigu sect destroys the cult in Mobei and the sect's vitality is damaged. The Jinyuan alliance becomes more powerful. Di Feisheng and Li Xiangyi make a peace treaty: they won't interfere with each other or draw a war in five years.

The royal court agrees to ally with Shan Gudao.

Ten years ago:

[Depending on how old you think Fang Duobing is; he says this happened when he was ten] Madam He introduces Shan Gudao to Fang Duobing as her long-lost brother. Shan Gudao teaches Fang Duobing martial arts in secret before he can walk. Fang Duobing briefly meets Li Xiangyi, who gives him a wooden sword.

Li Xiangyi trespasses into the Royal Palace grounds on Mid-Autumn night to watch the Epiphyllum festival.

Lian Quan, Lord Of The Netherworld, is last seen in Shishou Village.

Shan Gudao tries to break into the Yipin tomb but cannot get past the Bagua (eight trigrams) Formation. The 14 Thieves of the Netherworld break into the tomb and die inside.

Li Xiangyi receives a message that the three kings of the Jinyuan alliance have besieged Shan Gudao in the Yangsha valley, the Jinyuan alliance's secret hideout. Meanwhile, the three kings receive a challenge from Shan Gudao but the letter was not his handwriting. The three kings arrive at the valley to find Shan Gudao already dead. Other members of the Sigu sect claim: they followed Shan Gudao to run some errands but were suddenly attacked by the three kings; Shan Gudao sent someone to go for help; Shan Gudao lured the three kings away to protect his subordinates.

Li Xiangyi cradles his shixiong's body and vows revenge. Shan Gudao's body is stolen in an ambush by the Jinyuan alliance. Li Xiangyi declares war on the Jinyuan alliance.

Li Xiangyi gathers Shan Gudao's belongings into a box in his room at the Sigu sect headquarters.

Yun Biqiu, at Jiao Liqiao's direction, administers Bicha poison to Li Xiangyi.

Jiao Liqiao and Fang Qing are working together. Someone from Nanyin purchases gunpowder from Thunder Hall in Jiangnan with funds from the Wansheng clan.  Ding Yun, Wind and Thunder Emissary and Wan Renshan, Star and Moon Emissary used thundering fire bombs to trap the Sigu Sect and blow up the Jinyuan alliance headquarters. The 12 guardians of the Jinyuan alliance die. 58 heroes of the Sigu sect die.

27th day of the 12th lunar month, year of Xin Chou: Li Xiangyi and Di Feisheng battle at the East Sea.

Someone alters a corpse to look like Shan Gudao. He survives, under the influence of wuxin huai. Shan Gudao kills Qi Mushan and takes his inner power.

Li Xiangyi fakes his death and disappears. The Sigu sect disbands. Its surviving arm, Baichuan Court, rounds up the remnants of the Jinyuan alliance. Di Feisheng goes into seclusion for ten years.

Ten or nine years ago:

Xin Lie, Thunder Chaser of Jinyuan alliance, Five Poison Palm, escapes from prison.

28th day of the 5th month, year of Ren Yin: Shi Hun writes a letter to the Sigu sect to thank them for releasing him.

Unknown, between ten years ago and present day:

The Jinyuan Alliance surrounds Lian Quan's mansion for the Rama Heavenly Ice, he escapes with Li Xiao and Li Xiong to Xiaoyuan City to live in hiding.

Li Lianhua finds Scholar Sushou, helps him and lets him stay with him. Scholar Sushou passes away.

Li Lianhua saves Tiexiao, who jumped off a cliff and was buried; Li Lianhua heard him shouting.

Four-faced Qingzun dies in prison and gives the Rama ice shard to his wife, Liangyi Xianzi.

Fang Duobing takes bitter medicine; bathes in cold springs; pierces his 12 major acupoints every day and faints many times but refuses to cry. He can stand up, walk, and learn martial arts.

Five years ago:

The Hall of Wind and Flame took the Shi family's secret book as their own. This includes Qi Mushan's recipes.

Three years ago:

Fang Duobing takes the Baichuan Court entrance examination, but they refuse to accept him.

One year ago:

"Last March": Li Lianhua saved Shi Wenjue, third son of the Shi family (he faked his suicide because he wanted a career in public service and his family didn't approve, Li Lianhua saw it). The Shi family in Weapons Valley were the ones who forged Cloud Iron armor and the wind sword.

Present day:

The show begins sometime after the sixth day of the fourth month of Ren Zi year. [We know this because in episode 2, Wangfu is sixteen and we are given his birthday as April 6th of Bing Shen Year]

Red Mountains (Girls' Mansion episode arc) takes place on month 9 day 9 of Ren Zi Year.

Episode 37/38 is the ten-year anniversary of the dong hai duel, so it takes place on the 27th day of 12th month of Ren Zi Year.

[mostotherthings]

The curse- it's a curse that's was freed. It's a fairy tale come true.

I waited for the entire series to end and for my life to be in a somewhat stable state before I watched the entirety of Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo and I was very glad that I did.

This show is highlighting Asian trauma, dailed up to 500%.

I watched episodes 2 to 4 in a sort of stupor- what is Dohee doing? WTF man, what are you doing? Only to realise at around episode 7 what he's done to himself.

He's done it. the ASIAN trauma cycle of death. The one where you think about it forever and never let it go and it takes you 20 years to get to a point where someone else kicks it into your head that you don't HAVE to live like that. Where you have to perform CBT on yourself so heavily before you can even have a semblance of living some sort of normal life.

Leaving home and going "no-contact" has it's own baggage. The term "filial piety", drilled into us since birth (and Korea is a Confusian society, so this is even more...drilled?). It's also because his father is a "respected" man of society, it must have been so stifling that his mother ran away and left him alone to be beat up for the next 10+ years.

And also it's knowing that what he's doing with Juyeong is wrong. Real world is not as forgiving as we hope it can be so. Abused since youth + father is a respected man in society (hence nobody will give a f- if he yells in pain) + the appearance of a boy he wants more than anything he ever wanted in his life (and scarily, probably the university entrance exam) somehow = the worse thing he could ever imagine (the boy he wanted being sent away, his father getting away scot-free, the trauma continues). Nobody is left to save him.

If life is so unfair, I'm going to make it fair for me. I don't really understands it, and I don't think he really did too and before he knew it he's in too deep but there was just one scene in the whole show that really got me.

The one where he's sitting in a cafe studying, and Juyeong walks past and he hides away, ashamed, in tears.

I left my home, disgraced. I was the smartest boy in class, but I can't seem to get pass this stupid exam (Can someone Korean explain to me, the scoresheets? How bad, did he do? Why did he take the exam so many times? Was it for fun? those gaga subs deserve to die for how shitty they were)

Somehow, the boy I liked, became the son to my father that I never could be. And for some damned reason, my father seems to like this guy

I love him, I love him so much that I want to stay around him, I love him I love him I love him I know where he is but he can never find out where I am, he can never find out because I am so ashamed, I am living a lie and he is everything right and honest and oh my god

Then my father dies. The shackles are supposed to be free.

Then the boy he loves returns. But the lie is too deep now, he will leave me when he finds out

But there's no way left... no. way... left.

But his love saves the day. He loves me. I'm not worthless. I'm not ashamed. My father is dead and the boy who took my place as his son loves me still and...

Will it be ok? Am I really free from this curse?

Oh Dohee, it really became okay. You were given a second chance. How very, very lucky you are.

[laylawatermelon]

Now that I'm thinking about it I wanna theorize/call for action outside of buddie (don't worry i WILL return with a vengeance) but now I'm on a bit of an Eddie Diaz kind of run.

I'm reading a fanfic now of Eddie's sisters which kind of spawned me to think about his relationship with them and kind of think about his family dynamics and expectations and what's coming up for his storyline.

Now they mentioned bringing his family in, specifically his sisters, and i think this storyline ties into Marisol (noname i swear this drives me crazy when i think about it?!??! PLEASE if you want me to care/be invested gimme a last name!) and his Catholic guilt/sense of responsibility/man of the house complex.

They've introduced how his upbringing brought him a lot of guilt and a sense of duty (to serve and protect amirite? Dang religion can be a perfect line to how modern society works but lemme save that for a thesis or something this is about 911 on abc🤣)

Back on topic though, there's a really nice post talking about how he's military family and how that affected his and Shannon's relationship. (x)

Reading that helped me to appreciate the writing and details.

I also want to talk about the beautiful work being done on Twitter and Tumblr about the Miami Vice costume theory and coincidences.

(heh throwback Tuesday and takeover thursday came in clutch with finding these x )

Yes i do ship buddie, but if I look at it not just as a romantic things but as they are written as kind of parallel soulmates who run along the same line of development.

One always spurs the next to grow and change and are heavily involved in some way even if that way it's just being themselves.

Buck being open with his sexuality will trigger something in Eddie. What it is can vary.

I think if we look at it with non shipper glasses, Buck's freedom will lead to Eddie's freedom. What I mean by that is since Eddie had came to the 118 Ryan mentioned how each year he was there the more he learned about himself and other people.

I think what Eddie would be at free from the image/expectations of what a family should look like/be.

He knows what a family could look like in a queer/unconventional way. Bathena's unit, Chimney and Maddie's family (let's say cause they're not currently married with a toddler church would pass out), and HenRen's family.

The could be and should be is the important part.

Eddie grew up being told what he should be and what his life should look like. Evidently his life went none of the ways it was intended to go.

He's a widower single father from a teen/young pregnancy and veteran. Sure he's a firefighter now but he has no "complete" family.

The way they're emphasizing the mother aspect throughout his story is still fascinating.

(i also thought of something hilarious as like he probably imagined/process mothers as like the Virgin Mary or something when they brought up how he can see woman as mothers but not really women at the same time)

(also Madonna whore complex was mentioned and it's also a fascinating way to look at it as he can either desire or love.)

Shannon seems to be the only exception and even that is iffy. I would also say that when she became a mother the desire kind of left? I think the mother aspect solidified for him when she left them I would say.

Yes they did have sex but that was a (very bad, horrid) form of communication between them. They both avoided stuff at some point in some (eh it's like 20/80 her and Eddie) cases.

Every other woman he has dated has kind of been a substitute, for a lack of a better word, replacement for the role of mom.

Now he knows what moms should look like in all shapes and forms. He knows what dads should look like. He's knows what his family should look like.

Granted he did get rid of some of the flaws of his father and the way he was raised which also ties into the way he is.

Eddie was parentified at an early age. (I will say as a black/poc person that there tends to be adult responsibilities placed on our communities kids from young partially because of culture but mostly because of the inherent unevenness that we have to struggle to make balance worldwide in different facets and environments.)

Once again, this is about 911 on abc, not my thesis😭.

I just imagine him standing on a stool to cook food for his sisters or some other things like laundry. Or even worse the cannon car accident with his pregnant mom. (I love to make myself cry)

Eddie had technically been a parent since he was a kid. He literally became the man of the house or the father. So i guess that entailed taking on the emotional and sometimes physical burden of the father role.

I guess when he was actually a father and not just the role he felt the weight of responsibility again and panicked. It makes sense he has a habit of running since he never had the opportunity to do so as a kid (since he never got the chance to be one).

So after Chris it was once again role of the father but now with added responsibility of bringing money to provide the household which he didn't have to do in that role.

It was hard then so it became even more difficult.

So he gave his body to the military and returned wounded in mind and body, and with a disabled son who needed insurance and stability and a wife who just needed him.

And he needed to be a man. Again and again and again.

He broke out of the loop when he got to the 118 (bless the haven that is that building) met Buck, then Carla and Bobby who offered a safe place for his kid.

He was no longer alone and had distanced himself physical from the church but mentally still shackled in his beliefs.

After this Buck and Tommy things and he's not present we're going to focus on how a family could look for him.

Last season and recently they mentioned the fact that his aunt had been divorced and he didn't know.

There was also mention of family secrets.

There was also Marisol and Chris together which I'm guessing he wasn't to happy with her but it's either or since we haven't seen them together so it's a 50/50 chance. More like 90/10 he's annoyed or feels weird about his mom being replaced). Since we touched on him repairing his relationship with his mom and subsequently girls and women/relationships he wants to be in now that may shift his image of Marisol suddenly being more present.

Slight Buddie tangent (i gotta let the beat out for a sec raaa-) but the fact that he's still hanging out with Buck pretty consistently (well we can say he's his other parent who's sadly been in his life almost longer than his mom 🥺 lemme stop I'm crying) but it might decrease due to his and Tommy's relationship. (They're two firefighters with very busy schedules ofc he's not present they got work to do chop chop!/j)

In turn this leaves Chris with one less stable parent figure and it's forced to turn to Marisol who may be overeager to please him.

This can lead Chris to probably feeling uncomfortable with the changes because he's happy his dad's happy but he's not happy because it feels like his family's changing again too fast, and what if she leaves then his dad's not happy and a whole other sleet of teenage issues and angst.

So what I predict their storyline to be going it's that Eddie tries to find his own freedom from the church and maybe even the expectations of his home community would have on him.

Buck will be radiant in himself at the wedding, so will Hen and Karen, and Marie and Chimney, and Bobby and Athena.

He'll look around and look inward.

He'll stop focusing on what his life should look like and focus on what it could.

And that life could be just as radiant as the family he's apart of now.

(and that's all i could ask for 🥹)

[thecoffeelovingfreak]

as long as you love me so

• jade leech x gn!reader • 1162 words • no warnings! • original prompt requested by anon!

for 'the snow's coming down', my winter event ❄

~~~

When you agreed to go on a hike with Jade, the forecast had only predicted a 20% drizzle. Now, as powdery snow continued showering, you realized just how quickly weather could outrun a meteorologist. It wasn't as though the path was untraversable, but snow piles up quickly and it would be safer to find a place to wait out the storm.

"I believe there is a cabin up ahead where we can rest and wait for the storm to pass." Jade spoke casually from beside you.

You nodded your head and continued forward, doing your best to block the snow from your eyes and ignore the chill of your nose.

Soon enough, a large well-lit cottage appeared. Smoke billowed out of the chimney, and the snow surrounding it seemed to have been recently cleared. To the left of the cabin was a large barn-like building with the same log style build. To the right was a garden, long dead and plagued by winter frost.

Climbing up the steps to the front door, you rapped lightly on the wood in an attempt to be courteous. As soon as your hand fell back to your side, the door opened to reveal a man with mid-length white hair wearing a green sweater and black pants.

"Hello, there! It's not very often I get any visitors during this time of year!" he chuckled, "Please, come in. There's no point in staying cold when I've got a lovely fire in here!"

The man opened the door wider and casted his arm towards the main room. With two quiet 'thank you's you found yourself sitting on a worn yet comfortable patterned loveseat next to Jade.

The middle aged man – Gunther – as you eventually discovered, disappeared into the kitchen with the promise of hot coffee, leaving you alone with the teal-haired vice housewarden.

"The kindness of strangers never fails to fascinate me."

You turned your head to look at Jade, retorting, "Really? What else fascinates you?"

His eyes lit up, but you continued: "Besides mushrooms."

His hand drifted to his chest almost subconsciously, but his eyes twinkled.

"How rude."

"I'm being honest, Jade! I want to learn more about you.

His features became laced with contemplation, before his eyes looked amused.

"You."

You hummed before asking, "What do you mean?"

"I am fascinated by you." 

Your cheeks involuntarily heated, as you turned your head to the fireplace. He chuckled quietly at your reaction as the owner of the house entered the room holding two steaming mugs and a golden key.

"Here you go." he said, handing each of you your coffee cups.

You thanked him before quickly taking a sip of the warm bitter drink, trying to calm your heart and save face.

"This is the key to my guest house! You're welcome to spend the night there, if you wish. I have a reservoir of wood between my cabin and said house, so feel free to take what you need."

With an expression of gratitude, Jade took the key.

"If you'll excuse me I have some paperwork I need to finish, but I will still be available if you need me." Gunther stated before walking towards a closed room – most likely his office.

Finishing your coffee, you placed your mug next to your companion's empty one and followed him out of your lovely host's home.

—

Gunther's guest house was quaint and carried a woodsy charm. The decoration consisted of many of his antiques and small personal items. Two paintings hung beautifully – one on the west wall depicting the local sunset, and the one on the east wall displaying the sunrise. A fireplace claimed the northern wall with the front door, and the southern wall’s arrangement was overtaken by a large bed.

With a simple spell by Jade, the fireplace was voluminously lit. Investigating Gunther’s antiques further, you found an old phonograph and a collection of 45s that appeared to be mostly traditional pop.

As you carded through the sets, a voice sounded in your right ear.

“What have you found, Y/n?”

You jolted lightly as a chill ran down your spine. Quickly recollecting yourself you replied,

“Some old records, however, I’m not sure from what decade.”

Moving slightly to the left, you allowed for Jade to view them as well. After looking at 5 more, his hand reached out to grab one with a half white and half purple label.

“If my memory serves me correctly, we have this exact record at the Lounge – though it is only a copy from 50 years ago, as that was the closest Azul could get to a primary pressing. I must admit it is quite charming to hold an original, given that this record is about 75 years old.” 

His tone carried interest and his movements seemed almost… eager… as he placed the record on its plateau and set the needle down.

As the smooth instrumental melody began, your curiosity of this new world’s music led you to ask who the artist was.

“Beau Carmichael. He was a popular serenader during his time and is now considered a ‘classic’, if you will.”

When the serenader’s voice began, you understood the public’s admiration for him. Mellow and deep vocals echoed soothingly around the small guest house, and the continuous soft melody of the song only added to that feeling.

Your heart started to race, however, as Jade held out his hand. You took it without question and let him guide you into a graceful dance. Thoughts raced through your head, but you tried using the music to calm you down. Nevertheless, when you really focused on the lyrics of the song you couldn’t help but think that Jade’s choice of record was deliberate. And when you looked back at the past three months – noticing the momentary slips in his mask, the seemingly genuine curiosity towards you, and the almost uncharacteristic consideration and protection he provided – you thought yourself a fool.

As your eyes met his olive and gold ones, you watched as he analyzed your features – most likely reading your thoughts. When he seemed satisfied with your conclusion, his gaze appeared adoring.

A small smirk overcame his features as his charming voice quietly sung the concluding lyrics, “I’m confessin’ that I love you.”

—

The next morning the storm had cleared, leaving Gunther with plenty of work to do before the sun decided to pitch in. After bundling up, the middle-aged man grabbed his shovel and set out to clear his property. At the same time he left his cabin, his two guests left his second house. With an exchange of good mornings, goodbyes, and a return of the home’s key, the couple set off. Upon closer inspection, the white-haired man noticed a small note attached to the golden key.

Thank you for your assistance, Gunther. While the snow was unexpected, it only made this opportunity all the more perfect. And, if you’re curious to know, my plan did work.

- Jade