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spiced-koi-friend · 1 month ago

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Two Sides Of A Coin

How exactly is our rival office doing? Surely they must get along great, knowing how efficient they are. But something tells me there's things that happen behind closed doors that perhaps should stay there.

Previous Chapter

Assassin!Goldbullet x Politician!F!Reader, TW: blackmail, stalking Words: 1157 | Rating: R | AO3

“Yo, I’m pretty fucking sure that if you keep that up, you’re gonna get a restraining order.”

“Then I’ll frame it right next to my diploma, and all the photos of him.”

“Fucking weirdo…”

Axel walks away from Flayon, not wanting to get in between him and his obsession with that other secretary. What Flayon does on his own time is none of his business, and at the end of the day he gets all his work done. Axel walks back into Altare’s office, leaning against the door after it closes behind him.

“I’m starting to think that this dude isn’t actually going to kill her.”

“Axel, we have to be patient with things like this. He gave me an update earlier, he’s managed to infiltrate into her office, and was even appointed her personal bodyguard. Even if he failed me yesterday, he’s more than making up for it. If he’s smart, he’ll gather intel as well and know that I’ll pay good money to get that from him.”

“I don’t know, man. Doesn’t feel right…”

“If this is you telling me you’re jealous that you weren’t the one being allowed to kill her, may I remind you exactly why you weren’t allowed to?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m your personal bodyguard and people will know that you told me to do it, and then we both get in trouble.”

“Exactly. 24 is completely independent of our operations. If he gets caught, he’s on his own. He should know this, considering his portfolio was quite extensive.”

“What about his miss yesterday? I thought this dude was supposed to be good!”

“Apparently there was a child that got in the way at the last second, he had to deviate from his shot and reveal his position. Now normally I wouldn’t have cared if he took out others, but apparently his moral code includes only killing people with a paycheque attached to them. Too good to kill for free.”

“I mean, it’s a kid, yo. Not even I would stoop that low.”

“Then maybe I thought better of you, Axel. Is there anything else you need?”

Axel’s hand curls into a fist, Altare just smirks as he knows exactly how to get a rise out of Axel.

“No sir. Let me know if you need me.”

“Always do. Now go back to being a good guard dog.”

Axel leaves the room before he can explode at his employer, slamming the door behind him as he goes out back to cool off. Fucking guard dog. He’s loyal, sure. But he’s a fucking human being. Not some dog to throw around for funnies.

“Happy birthday, Axel!!”

Flayon pops up behind Axel, spooking the shit out of him.

“It’s not my birthday yet…”

“Well… I got you something.”

Flayon hands Axel an envelope, watching eagerly as he opens it. Inside is a cheque for a decently substantial amount of money, which makes Axel a little concerned about where he got it from.

“It’s the company budget set aside for your dildos project!”

Axel looks between Flayon and the cheque, before nearly falling over with laughter.

“Let’s goooooo!”

Flayon looks rather proud of himself, just grinning until Axel can pull himself back together. “

“You know, even though you freak me out a little bit, it’s good to know you have my back, bro.”

“Yeah! Just don’t tell Altare. And make sure you cash the cheque on the other side of town. Even better if you can do it out of the country.”

“...I know better than to ask questions I don’t actually want the answers to…”

…

Flayon disappears back into the office, going back to his multiple monitor setup. Pictures of Bettel are plastered all over his screens and desk, with several being from his own personal photograph collection. On a sticky note he has the number of the other office, deciding to call it up to talk to his favorite clown boy.

“Uh, hello?”

“Hi Bettel.”

“Oh, uh, hi Flayon. What, uh, what’s up?”

“Just seeing what you’re doing. Thought I’d call to see if you’re lonely over there.”

“Uh, no! No, I’m good! Real good. Got some uh, new faces around here. Lots of beef- I mean men. Not lonely at all!”

“You’re seeing other men!?”

“I have eyes, Flayon! And we’re not dating or anything, so I plan on using my eyes to look at whoever I want!”

“You may regret saying that…”

“Well! I think that’s all the time we have for today. Have fun creeping out someone else! Don’t call me!”

Bettel hangs up the phone, leaving Flayon grumbling to himself.

“I will make you feel my love, clown man.”

…

Altare looks out over the town from his office chair, leering over the skyline as he pets the cat in his lap. From here he can see the top of the mayoral building, knowing that it will not be easy to vacate it. He thinks about what Axel said, and he doesn’t really blame him for thinking that way. This entire election rests on whether Goldbullet can carry out the job like intended.

Once his mayoral position is locked in, he has connections with people in higher places. Nothing he can’t buy, no one he can’t buy. Altare will no longer need to pay people to put through the legislation he wants, soon he’ll be able to do it himself. The world is his oyster, and he’s hoarding pearls.

He turns around, grabbing his phone before getting up to pace around his office.

“Hey, what can I help you wi-”

“I have a potential job for you.”

The silence on the other end of the line lasts for a moment, making Altare question whether the call disconnected or not.

“What’s the job?”

“Good. I thought you’d say that. I’ve hired outside help, to assist with a disposal. In the event that he fails, I need you to finish the job, and bring him to me.”

“You know I don’t do those kinds of jobs anymore…”

Altare measures his breathing, keeping his voice low.

“I kept you out of prison, and I can undo all of that with one email. You will do this job.”

“Thanks for reminding me exactly why I stopped doing those kinds of jobs.”

Altare pounds his fist on the desk, startling his cat who was sleeping on his chair.

“I expect you here to sign the contract by tomorrow evening, or else I’ll be unleashing you and Axel in a forest in the middle of nowhere.”

“So glad you’ve never changed. Make sure you have my preferred tea.”

“I look forward to your visit, glad you can be reasoned with.”

With the end of the call, he scoops his cat back up and heads off to find Axel. He has some chats he needs to have with a particular journalist, he needs some stories put out that the public just has to know about.

#goldbullet #goldbullet x reader #holoarmis #holostars en fanfiction #koifictions

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technobladetimestamps · 4 years ago

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Nov 16 Stream Timestamps

Timestamps from Technoblade’s “THE REVOLUTION (dream SMP)”

Link to my youtube comment with all of the timestamps x

Timestamps with hyperlinks below

02:13 “This is a surprise tool which will help us later” / thumbnail isn’t foreshadowing / video thumbnails have to be big / stream thumbnails can be detailed 05:17 “The traitor is actually Jschlatt” / firework crafting 09:50 “The ratio is impeccable” 13:23 “Dream’s in the game! My audience retention rate” / vc with Tubbo & Quackity / traitor Jschlatt theory / “Are you high?” “A little” 14:47 “You’re a bit of a wildcard” “I am the most consistent character on the entire server” / “What’s this about getting into power” / “We’ll burn this bridge when we get to it” 15:54 “You really are such an English major” / “You’re an idiom” / malaphor / “I’m actually speaking twice as much English as you guys” 18:07 “I think Thunder is overcompensating in the chat” / “Where can you see me” “In my heart” (Karl & Quackity) / Karl not leaving vc 20:33 vc with Niki / “Did Tubbo just leave me? I spaced out for 2 seconds” / “You can’t call everyone the traitor” “I can & will” 22:45 “You know it’s an event when Skeppy’s here” / “You know it’s a big deal when Georgenotfound wakes up” / “Everyone leaves me” 23:31 explaining the traitor thing to Niki / “Maybe I’m a sleeper agent” / had to kill Tubbo 25:03 nothing happened with that creeper / Fundy interrogating Niki / “Why did I train her for MCC” 25:54 “Even YOU’RE leaving me” / sad music / “I’m sitting here with 203k viewers & it’s not enough for any of these streamers to bear talking to me for more than 60 seconds” / Skeppy joins vc to immediately leave 28:50 Karl has a gift for Techno / Karl is just here for the animatic 32:21 “At least the chat won’t leave me” / pays for his music 35:01 “I’m going to destroy the government so bad” / “I hate all of the farming updates on skyblock” 37:45 joining a vc / “I just got stood up in like 4...conversations in rapid succession” / “My new years resolution was to make friends & it’s november & I’ve made zero headway” / Eret switches sides 41:53 Ender chest setup / worried about hotbar management / potions > shields 43:13 vc with allies / “Karl you are literally the biggest third wheel I have ever seen” 45:03 angering the dogs / trident combo 47:13 “D!ck with one ball” (Tubbo) 50:25 “Let’s hope Wil overslept like [George]” 53:09 recruiting Eret / “If you fight on our side we’ll make you the King of Burger King” / “He’ll be an executive citizen” / “I’m surrounded by idiots” 54:58 putting Schlatt on the allies list / “Schlatt is an alcoholic high on protein power” (Fundy) 56:47 can’t trust Eret / “I hate it when you’re right” (Tubbo) / Wilbur joins vc 59:50 having a moment with Hubert / “Not even the mobs like me” / sad music / “I just gained 8k subscribers the sadness is gone” / cow pit exp farm 1:02:57 vc with Niki / “I’m going to join the other vc AHHHHH” 1:05:02 “Once everyone meets up...I have something prepared” / “Technoblade when are you not ready?” “When I joined the server” 1:09:38 “Who do you take me for? Of course I’ve read the Art of War. It’s written by Mozart” / battle planning 1:12:18 “This is the betrayal...happening very slowly” 1:13:35 Pan1 / “This revolution is so doomed” 1:15:29 Dream attack / Quackity dies 1:18:07 “Agree Retweet” / “Violence is the only universal language” / “i have a supply” / “Why do you talk in upwards inflections constantly?” 1:19:57 Techno not getting to talk / “He took it all by force didn’t he” / “Fear into Ear” 1:23:50 Techno telling everyone he has a stash twice / distributing blue / mushroom the fox 1:26:49 Tommy talking over Techno again / “Stop going off on your tangents” “We have food at home” 1:29:30 vault reveal / Tubbo stealing emeralds / secret chest 1:32:40 “Shut up bro you are green as shit” (Tommy) / “Everyone give me back my stuff you don’t deserve it” 1:34:41 no netherite swords / “Who’s the traitor” “Promise we won’t be mad” 1:36:31 battle / Technoblade trident maneuvering / giving rocket launchers to Tubbo & Tommy 1:40:27 killing Karl / Dream bringing out the end crystals / fighting invis Dream / purpled switches sides 1:43:57 Dream wants to talk / 309k / group photos 1:46:08 vc with Dream / “But only if my enemy insists” / in the van with Schlatt / “What are you doing in my drug van? It better not be drugs” / Tommy preparing to shoot Schlatt 1:54:42 “We won” / “We killed an old man with heart problems! It only took 20 of us!” / President Innit / subscribe to Technoblade sign 1:55:57 Dream & Techno talk in chat / Tommy speech / “It was meant to be” / “I don’t think anyone is bowing to Tommyinnit” / “Karl don’t be weird” / Skeppy has a disc 1:59:06 Techno being apprehensive on mute / Tommy makes Wilbur President / “I’ll be the president” “I’m gonna veto that” / “Techno...you’ve taught me that government is not the way to go” / Wilbur makes Tubbo president 2:03:20 “I’m not sure I like where this is going x2” / “I’m not sure this is a good ending” / “Team chaos” “Perhaps” 2:06:20 Techno shoots Tubbo / Philza joins / “You think Schlatt was the cause of your problems? No. It was government” / speech gets interrupted / “The government ends here, I’ll kill it myself!” 2:09:23 Phil kills Wilbur / techno yelling for silence / “Tommy you just did a coup...& instilled yourself as president” 2:12:11 “If you want to be a hero THAN DIE LIKE ONE” / wither spawning / killing his former allies 2:15:09 post fight talks / “There will be no new government today. It will be over my dead body” / “Techno was not the traitor” 2:18:50 “I need to increase the crater that is L’Manberg so that no country can rise in its place” / “Mom says it’s my turn on the flame bow” 2:23:51 “What I’m doing right now is small scale. This is the work of an individual. This is nothing compared to the cruelty governments all around the world [inflict]...systematically” / “Llamas are the primary victims of war” / “I just wanna be apart of the explosion” (George) 2:27:06 Techno joins vc / connor joins the server / “I hope you’re proud of yourself Techno” “I kinda am” / Jack Manifold (Thunder) being broke / netherite armor 2:32:30 “Beach episode” / Techno accidentally joins the L’Manberg vc 2:35:16 the base is compromised / “There’s no way Technoblade would put a clock there if it didn’t mean anything” / got robbed 2:37:37 “If you’re going to ask me how I got all these emerald & arrows that’s a story for another day” / explaining the bedrock / “I can give everyone stuff & it’ll be such a flex” 2:40:24 Greek mythology 2:41:45 The Golden Apple / “They didn’t use discord back then they used skype, so can’t invite Eris” / “Zeus the god of feminism” 2:46:02 Eret recruiting Techno to kill George / joining vc / “Let’s stop him before he gets land” / Awesamdude proposing a fight 2:49:08 “No one can kill me I’m invincible” (logs out) / Dream literally names the turtle potions Sam thinks he hasn’t heard of / “I’m at soup” / “It’s not smack talk he just has that many items” 2:53:06 “Stab him Dream, I’ll shout encouraging words” / Techno fighting Bad & Ant 2:56:23 Dream wins / “I think there was this Dream guy attacking you with some sort of weapon” 3:00:11 turtle potions / Dream hyping up Techno about fighting BBH / Badlands negotiating with George 3:04:34 vc with Philza 3:07:00 spider farm afk’ing / lagging Quackity’s computer 3:09:06 smp earth / Phil only logged on to back Techno up 3:10:32 killing George / “I’m gonna drop his armor off don’t jump me” / not fighting Dream 3:13:00 vc with Karl & Phil / Karl definitely not starting a government / “Chat that was the boring part, don’t leave” / 320k / “Why do we keep scheduling these on Monday?” 3:16:18 “I don’t even want to think about how famous Tommy will be in the future” / “I get a tad bitter” / covid is good for youtubers but obviously bad / “I’m so good at socially distancing” 3:19:51 “Aren’t you tired of being nice Philza? Don’t you just wanna go crazy” / “You should be wary of the old in a profession where people die young” / vc with Eret 3:21:47 “What if you built a slightly larger throne next to it?” / “How are they paranoid of a mole but the guy with a track record of being a traitor gets no questions asked” 3:25:47 “I’m gonna place a block at the bottom & kill you instantly” / reverse mlg / emerald rich even with Tubbo’s theft 3:27:57 “I’ll allow it” / upstairs chests robbed / Eret disconnects with the book 3:32:04 armor sabotage bc he thought it’d be 1v5 / crystals are mutually assured destruction / Wilbur afraid of tnt getting blown up early 3:34:11 the diary was actually Eret’s / “He’s gonna tell everyone who I have a crush on. Nooo” / reading the 100 page book / “Can I not win here?” “No” 3:40:14 “This stream has released more serotonin in my brain than the last 6 months combined” / revolution was overcrowded / could improve the crater 2:43:09 “Awkward ten minute period where I’m just sitting there watching them set up a new government but I can’t kill them yet” / Carl is missing 3:44:34 “The one time Technoblade is gonna roleplay & they talk over him” / “CARL” / “As long as Sapnap isn’t the one that took him there’ll still be hope” 3:46:10 “Once you start using end crystals it’s the only pvp that matters & end crystal pvp is so lame” / Webtoons 3:49:10 “What’s going to happen to you & WIlbur now?” “I don’t know, I think I’m chill with Wilbur” / “The only thing that changed is my voice. Zero personal growth” / lines from the first speech that got interrupted / “King George is trending booo” 3:52:00 1 million twitter followers / “O god it’s been four hours...I am not built for this” / did a 13 hour stream once / sub growth goals 3:56:30 “What the heck is Phil watching”

#technoblade #technoblade timestamps #THE REVOLUTION (dream SMP)#dream smp

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fallingsunflower · 3 years ago

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BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.

I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol

"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"

"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."

"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"

"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."

"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."

"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"

"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"

"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."

"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."

"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."

"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"

"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."

"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."

"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"

"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"

"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"

"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"

"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"

"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"

"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"

"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"

"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"

"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"

"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"

"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"

"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."

"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"

"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"

"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."

"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"

"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"

"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."

"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."

"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"

"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."

"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"

"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"

"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"

"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"

"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"

"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"

"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."

"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"

"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"

"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"

"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"

"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."

"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."

#this is also good visual proof for how many people are on team PR lol

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organizationhimself · 4 years ago

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Dark Bramble Guide [Taco Bell update]

My friend keeps getting deep space murdered so I figured I would help. Please note: I am extremely witty and hilarious and I know it.

So here’s what I’ve learned.

Dark Bramble has five SIX AUGH different openings. Four along the sides, one on “top,” and one on the “bottom.” I consider Dark Bramble to be “upright” when it is oriented like so:

Most of the time you’re going to be dumped in front of the four middle openings, which can be the hardest to recognize if you don’t know where to look.

I’ve also determined two routes. In some cases you can get straight to the Vessel, and in others it’s better to go to the Escape Pod 3 first, and then change your marker to the Vessel (which at least gives you something to do while you’re floating past the three fish). There is ALWAYS a fish guarding a Vessel seed, but the one in the Escape Pod room is much easier to avoid aggroing as a rule.

Bear in mind that when identifying these routes, I have just shot for my targets (Escape Pod, Vessel) completely full throttle the entire time, not giving a fuck in the world, and eliminated routes that get me eaten this way. So the key to fish avoidance is to go in one direction as much as possible and avoid firing your rockets in any other directions; often I have been able to full throttle right past a fish that didn’t get upset till I fired a rocket to one side or the other.

I’ve decided to help identify these with some features I call the Dewclaw and the Forsaken Breadstick:

Right in between the Dewclaw and the Breadstick, we have Chili’s:

Chili’s has an Escape Pod in an ok place close by the entrance, and if you’re practicing going straight from Timber Hearth to Dark Bramble, you will always see Chili’s first. But there’s some vines and stuff in the way of the Escape Pod that make this route sub-par. There’s better places, so we’re gonna skip Chili’s. Let’s talk about Tim Hortons.

Tim Hortons is always to the right of Chili’s and the Breadstick and has the best Escape Pod route on the planet, apart from his brother Tom Hortons (who we will get to later). There’s no fish getting to the Escape Pod’s seed, it’s VERY close, and I have always avoided fish on my way to the Vessel seed from very soon after entering the room unless I was looking for a fish for Science (though there’s some annoying twisting geometry in the way if you don’t go in the direction of the Escape Pod for a bit). His Vessel route is very dangerous (2 fish yikes) and I got insanely lucky, so that’s a hard no.

This Escape Pod is the route I used to beat the game, so I’m sure it works once you have the warp core (I don’t know if more fish can spawn after you get the warp core but just in case).

Left of Chili’s, we have Olive Garden:

So at first I didn’t really recommend Olive Garden, because I thought the Escape Pod route was ideal and its Escape Pod will absolutely kill you. But its Vessel route is actually pretty straightforward and could actually be a winner (I had a hard time attracting the attention of its fish). It seems like Olive Garden tends to be the facing you get when you go straight from the Twins to Dark Bramble with the warp core so it’s probably the one most people naturally go into first.

To the right of Olive Garden (and left of Tim), basically in the “back” of Dark Bramble if you’re facing Chili’s like when you first arrive, there’s Tim’s brother Tom. This far around it’s hard to see our main two landmarks so here’s a newer, shittier one (sorry):

I called him Tom Hortons because at first I thought he was basically a copy of Tim’s, but Tom is actually better because Tom is an all around yes man. You want to go Escape Pod? Do it bud. Vessel seed? Yeah man. Tom’s a bro. However he is, as I discovered intensely painfully, very easy to mistake for Dark Bramble’s sixth location (the one most visible from directly on “top”), which I have decided to call Taco Bell because it is a pain in my ass:

Taco Bell is kind of caged in by everybody’s sick ‘do’s and is most easily accessible from going around back of Chili’s, to either Olive Garden or Tom Hortons. It has a perfectly acceptable Escape Pod, and its Vessel seed is basically completely hit or miss. There’s a vine in front of it in some orientations, so if you go the wrong way around it there’s a Very Mad fish. So like, unless you’re aiming for an Escape Pod route, just don’t go to Taco Bell, y’know? It’s not worth it.

Finally, on the bottom, there’s Subway:

Subway is extremely easy to find because it’s on the very bottom and caged inside a bunch of vines that can be a little tricky to navigate. Also, its Escape Pod route will kill you. Its Vessel route may, potentially, also kill you--I found the fish easier to aggro--but it is very close and convenient like Olive Garden and Tom Hortons. Basically you might as well go to one of those, they’re just as close and easier on entry, but if you’re really struggling to identify them then Subway is impossible to miss. You have to want to go there.

Again, orientation is EVERYTHING in Dark Bramble, so if I say things are in the upper left/right/whatever then that’s gonna be meaningless if you approach from a different angle, but here are some outside and inside photos from the center openings as approached from an “upright” angle. This is proceeding around Dark Bramble’s center, starting from Chili’s and moving right:

Taco Bell on top and Subway on bottom are impossible for me to give a consistent orientation for, so Subway may vary significantly from what you see depending on your angle:

Taco Bell is a pain in the ass so it gets two of these based on which other (better) opening you face before you fly “up” over it:

So basically, the safe Escape Pod seeds tend to be very close to the ceiling or wall and out of the way, and if the Vessel seed looks far away I’d try another entrance. From cross-referencing I have determined that a safe initial distance is usually between 1 and 1.3km, and a distance between 1.5 and 1.7km almost certainly has a fish, but again some orientations may still end up attracting attention where others would not.

Best Escape Pod Routes:

Tom Hortons

Tim Hortons

Taco Bell

Chili's (obstructed)

Best Vessel Routes:

Tom Hortons

Olive Garden

Subway

Taco Bell (obstructed)

I am pretty sure that both the Escape Pod room and the Vessel room are the same entrance flipped around different ways no matter where you enter the seed, and it’s really impossible to make the orientation consistent, but as a result both the Pod and the Vessel should be in the same place and you can navigate from there.

If you choose to take an Escape Pod route, I’d recommend aiming for the Escape Pod itself until you see a really prominent red glow from the Vessel seed. This can help you avoid all the crap floating around in the way, and it’s also completely safe once you get into the vines (I have never been eaten there from any orientation). Alternatively, following the lights to the dead Nomai also gives you a straight shot to the Vessel seed with what feels to me like the smallest possible chance of running into a fish (I think this is a gameplay mechanic), but it takes longer.

Once you actually make it into the Vessel seed DO NOT MOVE. You will not hit the fish. You cannot hit the fish. You will literally go through the fish, and then it’s ok to start accelerating up to 2 bars as long as you are under 900km away from the Vessel marker (but probably safer at under 800km). After further testing, I’m pretty sure there’s only one fish inconveniently close to the final seed, which you pass on the way. I tend to be drifting at this point to make sure I don’t slam into the branch between me and the seed, so I don’t recommend going above 1 bar around here if you can help it, the fish is more aggressive than I first thought and it’s kind of 50/50 whether he’ll actually chase you.

Fortunately, there’s a pretty foolproof direction to go in:

This last branch before the seed has a little curved area that is the perfect size for your ship, and if you go through it while still aiming for the Vessel, you will be almost perfectly lined up for an opening. (In this particular orientation I managed not to alert the fish at all, but it’s not a good idea to stop to adjust here, I’d just aim for this opening regardless.)

I think this section is kinda designed for the fish to notice you, and even if he does, you’re generally going to be close enough to the seed to make it inside before he can reach you. But sometimes he screams at me just as I’m about to go inside it even if he made no reaction before, so be prepared for that possibility.

Last tips: -If you do attract a fish, try to put it between you and a seed. It will get slowed down or stuck in the geometry, giving you some time to go into the seed. -If a fish groans and comes your way, stop thrusting IMMEDIATELY. If you go dark before it screams, it will go where it last heard the noise and you can coast right past. (It helps to be going at a pretty fast pace.) -For endgame setup, I found 2:00 - 3:00 to be an optimal timing to doze off at the fire before going to Ash Twin to catch the first cycle (but that can vary across consoles/computers).

(Edit: Looks like my theme is not nice to these images so larger versions are available here if you need clearer ones, or the full guide is also up on Steam now because I am a menace.)

On a final note, Outer Wilds doesn’t care about your suffering, which is why the very first time I finally pulled out the warp core, Ember Twin got ahold of my ship and did this shit to it:

thanks for coming to my ted talk good luck with ur endless fish.

@autopotion

#outer wilds spoilers #outer wilds #outer wilds dark bramble

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renaxwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Eleven

.04 - 18

synopsis: the number Eleven had always appeared in milestones of your life. it was a constant, and you didn’t know why. but you would soon find out when you study abroad in japan and meet Him.

pairing: tsukishima kei x fem!reader

warnings: none!

masterlist: here :)

a/n: more introductions! English will be in bold. Hope you enjoy this one <3

previous || next

We made a start. Be it a false one, I know.

“Oh. It’s you.”

You turn to see the one and only Tsukishima towering over you. But that didn’t shock you.

His jersey number was Eleven?

Why the hell did he have that number? Is this supposed to mean something? I could be safe to call it a coincidence, but there was no way. Your whole life that number had appeared, so it should be a sign of something, right?

But what?

Millions of questions dashed through your mind as you stare each other down. The split second of intense eye contact felt like an eternity of wavelengths flowing between the two of you. That split second was all it took for everyone in the gym to dissect this interaction.

Hinata, always being the one brave enough in awkward situations, spoke up. “Uh...so you guys know each other?”

His inquiry broke the tiny trace between you and Tsukishima. You glance at your feet, the team, the net. Anything but him right now.

“I guess you can say that,” you admit shyly.

Tsukishima grunts. “She’s staying at my house for the time being. Not a big deal.”

Gee, he’s so nonchalant about it. You weren’t sure how to feel about that, but seeing at the confused looks being exchanged between the players, you felt the need to give a quick rundown of what the deal was. Better to prevent any wrong ideas.

You pipe up after Tsukishima, “It’s really not. I’m originally from the United States, but I’m studying over here now. Mizuki, Tsukishima’s mother, generously offered hospitality while I was over here in the country. Nothing more than that.” You smile assuredly, trying to avoid the need for any more pressing questions.

Too bad that didn’t work.

The two boys that high-fived, who you discovered to be Nishinoya and Tanaka, burst out, “So if you’re from America, you know English, right? Say something in that language!”

Not surprised, you ask, “What do you want me to say?”

A dark-haired boy, who quickly introduced himself as Kageyama, had been quietly observing the entire time. However, he was lightning-fast to give his suggestion:

“How do you say, ‘Hinata, you dumbass’ in English?”

“HEY!”

You pivot toward Hinata’s voice and find him staring daggers in Kageyama’s direction.

“Sorry Hinata, but Kageyama thinks you’re a dumbass. Sorry Hinata, but Kageyama thinks you’re a dumbass.”

Nishinoya and Tanaka whisper to themselves, and you only catch phrases like, “Who knew foreign languages could sound hot” “The way she could flawlessly switch between them bro oh my gosh”. You felt like a bug under a microscope. Especially with Tsukishima’s negative vibes rubbing onto you. It’s so weird how just his presence has been taking a toll on you.

A blonde man, probably in his twenties, strides up to the huddle, redirecting the team’s focus to him. He seems a little intimidating, but not too much. This must be the coach then.

He announces, “Alright guys, the ride to Tokyo is in a MONTH. Just some food for thought, so I would suggest you guys get cracking on your drills sooner than later.”

Daichi claps twice. “Alright! Starting with dives! Let’s go!” And with that, the team narrows their attention to the court.

The coach hums and finally acknowledges you, in a warmer tone opposite to the stern voice he just served his team. “Hey there, seems I missed introduction time. I’m Ukai Keishin, coach of this team. You’ll meet our team advisor too. He should be coming in soon, he just went to get something real quick. So, what brings you here?”

You explain the same spiel you gave the team, and he gives a curt nod. “I see. This might actually be perfect timing then. We were actually going to begin to evaluate each player to find their strengths and weaknesses, so we know what to tweak before Tokyo. You know what, think of today as a trial. Maybe you’ll be able to give us a new perspective we could miss.”

Your eyes glisten at the thought of being legitimately helpful for the team. You felt you were meant to be here.

The doors burst open, and in scurries what looks to be the advisor with multiple packets in his arms. You sense his distress, and you dash over to help him, managing to catch one as it fell off the pile.

“Why thank you! Can’t lose that at a time like this!” he smiles in appreciation.

The two of you carry the papers over to the rest of the staff. More introductions were made on your behalf, and soon Ukai and Takeda, the advisor, catch you up on their latest tactic of evaluating the team. They give you an extra copy of their packet, which lists every player’s strength and weakness.

“Your job, (y/n), is to capture their weaknesses in action. This way, they can physically see what they’re doing, and go from there. You can throw in some cool ones of them too, if you want. So their egos can get a little lift,” explains the coach.

You get to work.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You only have the essentials of your photography setup with you wherever you went, while your more professional add ons were in your room. This meant you had to get a bit closer to capture the range of certain angles, but you didn’t mind. You’ve been on a football field, basketball court, and a whole bunch of other arenas where you were drowning in a sea of giants. You’ve definitely seen worse situations.

Practice ran pretty smoothly. You were surprisingly able to shoot everything needed within the players’ packet, so once the team was officially done, Ukai had them all line up. One by one, each player would be able to look at their action shots, and the coach would explain to them what was working, or what can be improved. The players were, to say the least, super hyped at seeing themselves in action. (Nishinoya: “SHE GOT MY ROLLING THUNDAAA!” Your ears rang for a couple minutes after how closed he yelled) You weren’t too familiar with the sport itself, but you made sure to slide in a compliment for every player. It really made all the difference in the world to see their face light up, knowing someone else is motivating their hard work.

But a certain someone has been very difficult to read so far.

Tsukishima approaches you for his turn. What if he doesn’t like his photos? What if the angle you shot his blocking wasn’t good enough?

Why are you suddenly self-conscious?

You show him the first photo burst. A simple serve. Shouldn’t be too much.

Ukai begins explaining volleyball gibberish to Tsukishima, and you’re just trying to focus on not doing anything irrational. Just stand. Breathe. Click through photos. Repeat.

Usually, you’re able to tell what a player is thinking once they see their plays in action. But man, this guy was just so monotone! The only ounce of emotion you were able to detect was the tiniest glimmer of awe in his eye when you clicked through one particular block of his. This was the best from his series in your opinion. At least he recognized it. Your chest felt warm for some reason.

Before Tsukishima was dismissed, you slip him a quick confidence booster. “You’re really good at blocking. You look like you manage to catch anything, it’s awesome!”

He half-heartedly turns your way, looks at you dead in the eyes, and hums as a thanks.

So much for interaction.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Practice ends, and the gym gets locked up, much to Hinayana and Kageyama’s dismay.

Everyone begins to go their separate ways. Tsukishima was still conversing with Yamaguchi, so you weren’t sure if you should wait for him or not. Playing it safe, you start to walk, but slowly. Eventually, you hear footsteps crunching behind you, signaling him catching up.

“You shouldn’t walk alone in the dark. Can’t have mom’s favorite getting hurt or lost now, can you?”

It seemed more like a rhetorical question than one you should answer, given the way he has his headphones on. You decide to give him the benefit of the doubt, by trying to keep up with his pace. Metaphorically, anyway. Man, he sure walks fast!

“I know the way back! Plus, there’s streetlights, so it’s not that dark,” you muster out.

He sighs, then takes off his headphones. “You’ve been here one day and you know you’re way around? Seems like a stretch.”

You bounce back, “I mean, it’s literally down the street. The only way I would get lost at this point is trying to keep up with your long ass stride. Chill dude!”

He finally looks at you in the eyes.

He smirks.

Then slips his headphones back on.

You couldn’t tell whether or not this was his way of playful banter, or if he was genuinely trying to get a rise out of you. Either way, he had you feel a certain way. Good or bad, who knows?

The rest of the way continues in silence. And all too soon you both arrive at the house.

At dinner, Mizuki is excited to hear how your first day played out. “You came home along with Kei, so is it safe to assume you’ve already found a club or some sort to be in?” she innocently inquires.

You animatedly nod in response. “Actually, I was with his team. Hinata has shown me around the school, so he’s the one who invited me to their practice! One thing led to another, and basically I’m the team’s official photographer!”

Mizuki smiles and grasps your hand in exhilaration. “That’s great (y/n)! It’s a good thing Hinata was your guide then. Maybe it’s fate! I feel good knowing you and Kei will be around each other often. Isn’t this great, Kei?”

He looks up from his bowl. “As long as I don’t have to carry her from a concussion or something.” He goes back to his dinner.

Even though you retort, “I’ve been surrounded by pleasures of almost every high school sport, including volleyball. So I’ll be fine,” it still didn’t stop the evident blush that was resting on your cheeks. Why were you blushing? Stop blushing!

Once the kitchen was cleaned and you all were in bed, that’s when your thoughts started to stir. What exactly was the universe trying to tell you with his jersey number? Why did everything he did make you feel a certain way? How was he attractive without even trying? He wanted nothing to do with you, so why him?

Little did you know that he was thinking the same about you.

Why you? With the dumb way your face looks, all cute when it’s flustered? How you were able to flawlessly match his sarcasm and comebacks? He hasn’t even known you that long, so why are you making him feel something he hasn’t felt before?

While you both were drowning in each other’s thoughts, you both were staring at the same wall. The one wall separating your rooms.

It was Eleven o’ clock.

Let's split the night wide open. We'll see everything. We can live in love, in slow motion.

taglist: @jiminslonglostjams @fantasymirror @shewastheriot @lukes-princess @iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire @its-bnha-babe @desi-studys @shootooooo @noya-senpai-imagines @animefan7420 @anpancari @tsukkx

#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima imagine #kei tsukishima #kei tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #eleven

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lowkeyassgard · 5 years ago

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DAY 9 OF LOKI VS. EARTH: TINDER

Day 9 of the Loki vs Earth series and today Loki is pissed and disturbed by Tinder.

One shot summary: Loki wants to find someone that will be his mischievous and pleasurable partner on Midgard but is disturbed by the people he finds on Tinder

Quarantine Series Summary: Hi. I started something called the quarantine series. It’s going to be a series of fun and light hearted one shots to help readers and other writers get through this hard time. I made a a03 collection and a tumblr tag. To join just write a fun, soft, and/or light hearted one shot and post it to the collection @Quarantine_Series or tag it on tumblr as #quarantine series.

Word count: 2.5 K

Warning: mentions of sex and dicks

Since moving to Midgard, Loki had been saying how much he despised Midgardians. They had no sense of self pleasure or dignity. They had horrible taste in fashion and listened to music that made Loki’s ears want to bleed. They complained too much and never did anything with their lives. They slaved away to the system. It was just repulsing to Loki.

Although he loathed the humans he was starting to desire their company. It had been months and the only people he had to talk to were his brother and Valkyrie. The other Asgardians were still wary of him: as they should be. Loki might have been mind controlled, but it really hadn’t been that long since he tried to kill everyone in New York City. The Asgardians wanted to believe he had changed but there will always be a sense of fear toward him.

He didn’t want friends. Jotun no. The last thing Loki wanted was a mewling quim to get emotionally attached to him. Friends were clingy. Loki wanted someone that he could share mutual hatreds with that would lead to many hours of pleasure. He wanted what those Midgardians called a fuck buddy.

Loki didn’t have a preference. Didn’t care if they were male, female, neither, or in between. Didn’t care what they looked like or what they identified as. He just needed a warm body that would let him use it as he pleases and share in his mischievous ways.

But back to the fact that he hated Midgardians. He absolutely hated the Midgardians and did everything in his power to annoy and complicate their lives.

Had Loki told anyone that he was looking for a sexual mutually hating partner in crime? Absolutely not.

They were would think him a fool. The god of mischief scheming around with the people he hated. Fraternizing with the enemy. Conversing with the low lives. Seducing the quim of all quim. Well now that Loki thought about it: that’s 100% something he would do. Flipping sides and manipulating a situation for his own self gain was right up his alley.

Loki didn’t leave New Asgard much other than to attend to the duties asked of him but today he would venture out to find the seductive ways of the Midgardians. He would learn their ways and then use them against them to find him one that would submit to him in all ways.

This scheming plan that would be sure to blow up in smokes is what lead Loki to be sitting in a dimly lit café shop talking to a pretty blonde named Marlo.

“So, you say you aren’t from around here?” Marlo said taking another sip of their caramel macchiato

“Oh, definitely not from around here. You could say I’m out of this world. “Loki winked.

“What exactly brings you here? To Norway? You could go to any place and you choose Norway?”

“Well, I didn’t get much choice. You see? I kind of helped blow up my home and then had to fight this toxic bitch from outer space and then I stole this blue cube and traveled back in time to not be choked out. Don’t get me wrong I love choking but this was choking gone wrong. Did I mention I faked my own death to do all of this? Anyways I helped save the world and now I half willingly half begrudgingly live with my older better brother and this former alcoholic that rules over this place about 20 minutes away. Lived there for a few months but now I am looking for a partner to get into some reckless fun with.”

Marlo stared back at Loki with the eyes the size of saucers. He took one last sip of his coffee and began to stand up.

“Let me ask you. Do you tell everyone that story?”

“Actually, you’re the first person I’ve ever told. Huh what a little caffeine and espresso does for the mind. I just opened up like a can of sardines.”

“Nice tragic story bro, but from the sounds of it you’re a little bat shit crazy and that’s not my vibe.”

Marlo began to walk out but Loki grabbed him by the wrist. “As a god I feel ashamed to be even in this room but young mewling quim I need your assistance.”

“What did you just call me?” Marlo looked extremely appalled.

“Oh Jotun. Sorry just a pet name I have for Midgardians... I mean humans. “

“Oh okay. I don’t know what you want but never call someone that ever again.’

“Gotchu. Will you machinate with me?

“Will I what?”

“Will you machinate with me... scheme... conspire... plot the plot of all plots.”

“What exactly is it you are wanting?”

“Easy. I want someone to have sex with. To talk about the things, I hate. To discuss all the ways, I want to overthrow Earth and make it better. To pleasure and be pleasured. I want a thot. “

“OOOOH I understand now. You little lonely in that imaginary world of yours and want someone to share in your agony.”

“Exactly my mew- morally obligated human.”

“Try tinder.”

“Timber? “

“No, tinder.”

“Sitter?’

“No. Tinder. Here just look. “Marlo got out their phone and opened up this app. “Tinder. You make a profile and it will show you people in the area that you can match with. If you both match up then you talk, meet up, canoodle, do whatever the hell that dark tragic heart of yours desires. “

“You must help me make a tinder. The fate of the world depends on it.” Loki grabbed Marlo’s phone out of their hands to expect this site. It was just full of people wanting the same thing he wanted.

“God you are dramatic. The world isn’t going to be fall apart just because you are lonely and horny.” Marlo took their phone and began to swipe through to show Loki the setup of the app.

“I once burned down a building cause I was bored. You don’t know what I’m capable of.” Loki glared at them. How dare they question their actions. When Loki said something, he meant it. No dramatics. If he didn’t talk to someone outside of the people residing in New Asgard and soon who knows what he would do. Arson was definitely in his future.

“Okay don’t get your leather in a bunch. I’ll set you up an account. “

So there Loki sat with Marlo for the next hour setting up a tinder account.

“First up. What is your name?’ Marlo asked. “Didn’t you say it was Lewis?

“LEWIS. I AM LOKI ODINSON PRINCE OF ASGARD RIGHTFUL...” Loki was about to rage scream his official title for this whole café to hear but he was rudely interrupted.

“I am going to stop you there buddy. I am putting Loki. How do you spell that? Le

“LO! L O K I!”

“Damn alright. Anyways. What is your birthday?”

“My birthday? How am I supposed to know that?

“Didn’t your mom and dad ever celebrate it like literally every year that you have been alive?”

“My dad kidnapped me from my home and my mother and him kept him in their string of lies until one day I was finally told the truth. I was born a long long time ago. Thousands of years before your life was even thought about.”

“Okay so I’m going to make a date up. Let’s just say you are 23.”

“Moving on. What is your gender?”

“I am above and unbound by your mortal limitations of identity.”

“Okay so gender nonconforming.” Marlo finished selecting that option. “You know to get yourself a partner you might want to try not being so hostile and dramatic every time someone speaks to you. I don’t just a tip.”

Loki stood up from his chair with his knife withdrawn. “I am not hostile. I am just bothered by your mewling questions in my search for mutual pleasure. “

“It was just a tip. You do you. So, what is your sexual orientation? You know what are you into?”

“I like anyone and everyone that meets the eye. I do have a preference for men that need my expertise and women that need my saving. Do with that as you wish.”

“Alright. Preferences so bisexual. Show everyone. Almost done there Lewis.”

“Loki.”

“Right. Loki.”

“What do you want your bio to be? Something that says who you are to attract people’s attention.”

“God of more then just mischief. I carry big things in these pants.”

“Err. Are you sure?”

“Who are you? The god of questioning? Do as I say.”

Marlo said nothing for a few minutes.

“Location is turned on. Questions all answered. Now we just need some pictures.”

“I have no photos.”

“That is alright. We are going to take some. Just pose.”

Loki just sat there and stared at the camera while Marlo snapped a photo.

“Look less pissed off.”

Loki groaned and forced a smile.

“Now you just look constipated.”

Loki huffed. He did his very best smirk.

“You look like you are about to burn down an orphanage.”

“I am about to burn this place down if you don’t hurry up.”

“Okay maybe just do a close half smile half smirk. Tilt your head a little and look less like a pissed off greasy sewer rat.”

Loki did his best to do as described. It must have been good enough because Marlo did not suggest another pose. They just tapped away on their phone.

“Okay. Done. Just swipe through. Swipe left for those that don’t interest you and swipe right for those that do interest you.”

Loki did that for over an hour. Swiped left on the ugly mewling quim or the nerdy sulks. Swiped right on anyone that seemed like they could offer him some machinating.

Loki ran into a slight problem. For all the hassle it took to setup this tinder account it wasn’t very awarding. No one would swipe right on him. He had yet to get a match. He looked good in his photos. Greasy and permissive. Looked like he was ready for a good time.

When Loki finally got matches and would try to talk with the humans they were strange. The strangest one yet was when he matched with this very attractive slim brunette that lived closed by. Upon the match the women sent him a message that left Loki happy.

“I heard you carry big things in those pants. Care to let me see?”

Loki smiled upon reading. Finally, someone that wanted to get to know him. He removed his knives and placed them on the table and sent the woman a photo of them.

“Mhm. Kinky. What else you got hiding in all that leather?”

Damn. This woman wanted to know all his dirty secrets and treasures. Loki didn’t show many people, but he had his own little pocket dimension where he hid all of his prized possessions. He had no plans to show a complete stranger the tesseract but since they seem so interested what would be the harm.

He slipped the tesseract into his lap and snapped a quick photo before putting it back in the one place it was safe. He was excited to see her response, but it was not one of awe of the mystical space orb that Loki carried the powers and burden of.

“Mhm, what is that big box holding?

Loki replied with. “More than your human mind could handle.” Loki genuinely felt like this woman was someone that could end up being a partner. She took great interest in him. She was funny and pretty. Talkative and apparently had amble of free time since she was talking to him. Loki thought that until he clicked back on the messages to see that she had blocked him after sending “The only big thing in your pants is the big lack of understanding of when a woman wants to see your cock. Loser.

Loki was in utter disbelief, but it only got worse from there. Person after person would converse with him for a few minutes and them block him out of complete frustration. Loki was just trying to make conversation and there was nothing more important to him than his knives, hair comb, and the tesseract. HE meant that he literally had big things in his pockets. The tesseract ain’t small and neither is his knives. Loki wanted sex, but he wasn’t going to whip his dick out for these people especially when they played with his feelings like this. They acted interested in his knives just to see his dick. How rude.

Loki was growing rather fed up with this app. Loki finally decided to give up on his scheme for mischievous pleasure when he clicked upon a message that left him sick to his stomach.

“You aren’t the only one with big things.” And there was a naked hairy nasty white cock on the screen of Marlo’s phone. Loki almost threw up. Don’t get him wrong he loved men but not men who flaunted their nasty private areas. This man looked like he hadn’t washed in decades and that’s coming from the man who literally showers with crow vomit. This man was repulsive, and he could take him and his arguably big dick far away from Loki before Loki used his big thing in his pants to cut it off.

The whole time this was happening Marlo sat beside Loki laughing to themselves.

“Do you think my failure is funny?”

“Yes. I don’t know what’s more hilarious you sulky when no one matches with your or you being repulsed by the only people that will.”

“This is not as easy as I imagined it would be.”

“Welcome to the real world. It’s a whole bunch of nasty dicks to the face. In this case I should say screen.”

Loki groaned and leaned back against his chair. Today was a complete disaster. He had not managed to find him a partner or even a supply of people wanting to be his partner that weren’t creepy, repulsive, or downright weird. Loki did a lot of weird things and wasn’t the best at being normal, but these people were worse than Loki could ever be. Loki chugged the rest of his coffee while Marlo continued to laugh,

“Tinder might not have worked but I must admit Lewis. I have grown fond of your pent-up anger and greasy dramatics. I would be cool to hang out again.”

“It is Loki.”

“I know, but I love seeing you get all fed up when I call you Lewis. Just make sure you bring your knives next time, so we can compare.”

“Oh, I see, you think you got big things in your pants. We will just have to see.”

#quarantine series #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston smut #marvel #marvel smut #loki #loki smut #smut #loki one shot #loki fic #marvel fic #loki of asgard #loki of earth

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taylornock · 5 years ago

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how cell phones made our lives better while simultaneously ruining them

hi fam!! it’s me, again. are you tired of hearing from me? me too. that’s why I’m here to rant about social media / phone / technology. bc i hate it… but in a loving way???

everyone remembers when they got their first iPhone. seriously. why is that such a monumental moment in our lives? i can hardly remember what i felt like freshman year of high school but can pinpoint the feeling of sheer glee unwrapping my iPhone 6 in eighth grade. i have this thing that is attached to me 24/7 - when I go anywhere (even downstairs) without my phone i feel weird. that is f***ing SAD! PATHETIC. i hate feeling that dependent on what is essentially a pocket robot.

for what it’s worth - phones have done INCREDIBLE things for the world as we know it. for example, this quarantine shit has been testing all of us; and our phones are helping us get through it in so many ways. our phones let us see the faces of those loved ones we are missing, our phones provide us with stupid tik tok content to keep everything light hearted, and our phones let us check in on each other. all amazing things! when we are at school, we have instant access to our lives at home . being able to call my mom whenever i want is something i definitely abuse. “mom, I’m on my way home from Thompson right now and i think i have a brain aneurysm but my bio final is at 11am tomorrow will i make it” … an actual conversation i had with my mom at the end of freshman year. needless to say i was medicated shortly after THAT meltdown. I am such a brat that i don’t know what i would do if i couldn’t text my dad and have him immediately get me the password again to our Uverse account…… god forbid i miss an episode of the bachelor. i have this phone, and that’s what i do with it? abuse its powers to ask my parents for medical advice or a password i forgot? have we lost sight of everything here?

throughout life and especially throughout quarantine… my phone is the definition of a possession that is a blessing and a curse. I’m so grateful to have the ability to bother my friends - whenever i want! the options are endless! i love keeping in touch with people i thought id never hear from again, and being able to talk to so many people in my life and make my heart swell. now, when a conversation with someone other than my two roommates (shoutout parents) is so rare ⎯ that phone is my weapon and i use it to help flatten the curve: flatten the curve of covid19 and flatten the curve of my mental illness 🙃 [humor is a coping mechanism okay let me live] but like, i KNOW i’m not the only one that looks at my screen time and immediately wants to die. how can i honestly be looking at my phone for that long? picking it up THAT many times?????? my phone is the best distraction and also the most toxic - it makes me feel better but has a tendency to bring up all my issues and blast them into the reflection of my blue light glasses...... its called fashion look it up.

to give some examples - let’s open up my most used app: snapchat. I go on snapchat with the best of intentions - to see a memory from a year ago that makes me smile. to respond to my friends and see what their mood today is based on the look on their face. to creep on snap stories and see what everyone’s cooking and doing with their lives. somehow, tho, after spending a few minutes on the app.. i end up with a pit in my stomach most of the time. the person i want to respond hasn’t responded in 4 hours. oh god lets overthink this- they don’t like me anymore and are no longer interested in speaking to me and only respond every once in a while out of pity or because they are uncomfortable. everyone hates you. oh and GOD FORBID someone leaves me on open??! I am not funny nor interesting nor worth a reply - suddenly, i have equated my value to receiving or not receiving a photo of someone’s blank stare. this is extreme, and this is dramatic. but trust me —— this is the hamster wheel always turning in my head. I’m not even going to touch on snap maps; that feature is pandoras box and someone better fucking shut it.

second most used app is instagram. i scroll for hours, i have time limits set for the app acting like i’m actually going to listen to them and get off. lmaooooooooo. i love looking at aesthetic stuff and dogs and food and recipes and my friends’ beautiful faces. but you know what i don’t like? constant nudges to compare myself to others. oh look at her having a party with all of her friends even though we aren’t supposed to be. am i a loser for trying to be safe? oh look at her washboard abs, i’m never going to look like that and will never live up to the standard of beauty society has set for me. look at all of these people in their happy relationships. why can’t i have that? it goes over and over and over. its not like i sit there and think of these things just like that, its a precedent in my mind when i stare at everybody else that i am going to size my own life up against theirs. for years i followed every single elite model / VS angel on instagram to motivate me to do better - to start being psycho about what i did to my body so i could be as gorgeous as them. what kind of fucked up mindset is that? i would literally watch their footage of them eating rice and vegetables once a day and try to copy it. i would watch their runway walks obsessively trying to recreate them in heels alone in my house - like that was all i could imagine doing with my life. did i ever stop for a second to look at that photoshoot of gigi hadid and wonder if she was happy? wonder if the constant pictures she saw of herself ever made her insecure? what was i doing? the day i unfollowed those girls was a monumental day in my journey to a better self image. i didn’t realize the people i thought were my “motivators” were actually my triggers. i have grown to a point in life now that i would much rather eat a stack of chocolate chip pancakes that make me dance in my chair like an infant than practice my runway walk and shame my body in the mirror. and i am so freakin happy!

i could go app by app for hours. but moving on to the next thing i hate about cell phones - how they have destroyed our biological methods of communication. you hear about those psychos who think the world is destroyed by technology and we are going to be overrun by robots. but hey, I’m with the psychos on this one. i have this amazing friend, Trevor Wright, who without fail at EVERY dinner announces “phones off friends on” and collects our phones into the center of the table. yes, we are 20 year old adults. yes, we hand our phones over to Trevor and let him yell at us for trying to see if ~that person~ snap chatted us back. i have so much respect for him because of this. there is nothing worse than staring at your phones when you could be having a good conversation about life, about love, about laughter + memories, about “do you think hellen keller is real?” anything, bro, anything. anything but snapchat messaging your hoe of the week or mindlessly playing tetris to twiddle your thumbs. we all need to start loving a little harder, and the first step to doing that is to communicate better. communicate smarter. I’m guilty of alllll of the above, don’t get me wrong. and I am ADD asf and constantly playing mindless games just to stimulate my brain. but i need to stop that! even writing this is taking some time away from the dumb shit on my phone - and encouraging me to communicate how i r e a l l y feel to my homies that will read this. communication - especially body language - is fascinating. I’ve studied it in psych, I’ve learned the neurological bases of behavior and why we do what we do. I’ve learned how much our life experience impacts who we are as a whole...and it! is! fascinating! i also think that’s why i love film so much. because it can capture the raw moments of your friends just being your friends, of you just being the person you are, and the world around you just existing as it exists. i love the raw moments; and not just because indy blue posted one youtube video of her slow mo laughing and now thats the only footage i find myself shooting. 😚

im not quite sure what this post is, lol. but - just a rant on technology. so listen to me:

take advantage of technology + social media! it CAN BE GREAT. for so many reasons. but, don’t let technology + social media TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. stay true to you - know how to communicate with yourself and your loved ones without the use of a robot. remember that feeling when you setup up your first iPhone? imagine if you could feel that again, with your phone nowhere in sight. if you don’t know how to communicate with yourself yet, start by journaling. WRITE! TYPE! SPEAK! do what you want. getting your thoughts down even without an audience is so crucial to understanding yourself and others. if you don’t like to write, reflect. breathe. meditate. make art. do what makes you feel at peace, and do whatever makes you feel like the world makes a little bit more sense than it does.

IF YOU ARE READING DOWN TO HERE, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, SAY IT BACK! LIFE IS A FUCKING HIGHWAY. AND IM SO GLAD YOU’RE ON MY INTERSTATE. <3

xoxoxoxo

gossip girl

#phones #socialmedia #rant #blog #hi #tender #loveme #quarantine #covid19 #cellphones #iphone #followme!#taylor #tiktok #trending #writing

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lilbluespeedster · 4 years ago

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“So that’s what your costume looks like. Guess I know where you got the inspiration from.”

“Hey, it’s simple, I like it.”

“Yeah, I think it suits you.”

“Very funny.” *The sound of the hedgehog’s laughter was occupied by a more echo-y laughter emanating from the emerald shard he was holding, the para-cord still wrapped around it and draped around the hedgehog’s neck like a necklace.*

“I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch as much as I would have liked to...I got caught up in my life over here...”

“Geez, you’ve moved on from me? Color me surprised.”

“Oh hush, you know it’s not like that.”

“Yeah I know, just teasin’.”

“When aren’t you? I swear you keep trying to mess with people like that, you’re going to push someone’s buttons too much.”

“I’ve gotten better at knowing when to quit. You’re just never around to see it.”

“Yeah I know...I wish it didn’t have to be that way...”

“Look, we knew once we trapped that crazy doc. in that barren zone that one of us would have to keep an eye on the device you made to make sure he couldn’t escape and cause more havoc. I had no idea how to keep that thing running...Besides, two Sonics in that zone where you’re staying, with everyone there unaware of zone travel...That would have freaked everyone out...Or worse, brought that zone’s Robotnik out of the woodwork.”

“From what I can tell, this zone’s Robotnik has been long gone for years...Since this Sonic was a teen still with his brother and sister. But I agree...exposing this zone to warp rings and zone-hopping...This place might not be ready for that yet. Hell, the only reason I haven’t been discovered as a zone hopper myself is because this universe doesn’t have a me! I had to meet up with this zone’s Sonic and pretend I was just another resident...Sure we got close...But not the same as us...It felt weird too.”

“Well at least you made it work...Can’t imagine having a biological sister...Or even a biological brother either...Speaking of which, you and that Sonic’s brother have been getting along pretty fine I see.”

“We’re more than just fine.” *The other in the shard grabbed a nearby photo frame and looked at the picture in it for a few moments.* “He’s staying out of trouble...And is a good mechanic, once he’s motivated. Kind of accidentally made him a bit lazy from all the spoiling I do...But it has its perks so I can’t complain. He’s happy and so am I...Just another reason I can’t leave here though...”

“We both knew that our lives would diverge like this...I know it’s hard...Maybe once they’re ready...We can finally catch up on the time we’ve lost.”

*The was a long pause at the other end.* “It might be a long, long time before this zone is ready...I have a hard enough time hiding the machine keeping Egghead locked up...Had to buy the private island me and Manic spent a vacation at and setup a private lab. Usually I’m able to warp there without them noticing I’m gone. Still I want to take him there again soon and spend some more quality time with him. We both deserve it...”

“Well I hope it works out for you...I should go. Got a job to do.”

“Alright Mr. Sound Breaker, get to it. Don’t get yourself banged up though.”

“I’ll be fine! You take care of yourself, you hear!”

“I will, I will...Happy Birthday Sonic, I love you.”

“Thanks Tails, I love you too, bro. I hope to see you soon.”

“Yeah...If I can...I’ll try to sneak out while the two hedgehogs are celebrating to see you. Even if it’s short.”

“I’d...Like that...”

“Same here...See you later, Sonic.”

“Bye Tails...”

*The image in the shard faded as the masked hedgehog lowered said object, letting it hang like a pendant. He looked down at the city streets below, being perched up in the skyscraper. He never thought life would end up like this...But another year had passed for him. Couldn’t let that stop him now. The city needed his help! He quickly jumped down the skyscraper and began to wall run towards the roads below, picking up speed as he neared the bottom, only to rocket forwards once he made it to the streets, speeding past the cars and pedestrians below. The hero was at work once more.*

#IC #Drabble #Birthday Drabble #The Sound Breaker (Superhero Persona)#Tails (Special Guest)#Update

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japanessie · 6 years ago

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Hi Shelly! I'm sorry you're feeling blue! I was going to ask that about Taka and Hiro, too, but was worried I'd get too upset but since someone else asked anyway...It just kind of made me wince with hurt for Hiro when a few years ago Taka ranted on instagram about privacy (for his own life, not about his family). Like, where was your voice when your own fans were BULLYING your baby brother or when they posted on a forum after the ONE time Tomohiro finally showed his face, they asked if he was...

[2/3] Adopted! He already had issues being on camera (hasnt been on since, cant blame him). So, Hiroki looks too much like Taka but Tomo doesn’t look enough? They’re his little brothers, I think bullying BOTH Little brothers is when the time to speak up is. I’m not saying the bros cant handle themselves but I just feel Hiro, aside from mfs, has been on his own. It would be nice if his eldest brother took responsibility for his so called “fans” who attack his family and stood up…

[3/3] Sorry it just hits close to home. I know what it’s like 2 not have your older bro there when u need him most. When he leaves u in a house burning with hatred (i got to hear my parents accuse each other of cheating while my bro was out smoking & drinking. It makes me wonder what Hiroki heard when no one thought he was listening). I dont mean to take it personally or anything, I just feel like Hiroki & I are very similar. It’s why I like mfs. I’m sorry, I just have no one else to talk about it to.

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Hi 😊. I combined your messages together into one for easier reading

First of all I’m sorry for the pain that you personally had to go through. I hope you’re doing okay 🤗. At the same time though, I see uniqueness besides similarities in everybody’s situation.

1. Someone who is broken can’t be a crutch for someone else

In a traditional family setup in many cultures, even more prominent in Asian cultures, the eldest child is always the one assumed to carry responsibilities of looking after the younger ones. In a family crisis situation, while the younger ones theoretically have the one they can turn to, the eldest child has nobody and is usually left to fend for himself and everybody else.

Some elder kids have the inner strength and maturity to carry it at young age but some really struggle with it and only develop at a later age. Your brother and Taka seem to be in the latter category. Like Taka, your brother walked out because he was hurting and that was the shortcut way he knew how to surpress it and to stay away from what was troubling him at home. He couldn’t be your pillar when he was broken himself. Just like Taka who took the quick way out and his story had been well documented.

Also, a lot of times, someone who feels worthless doesn’t understand why anyone would feel hurt to see him walk away. I’m sure Taka himself only fully began to understand NOW, as an adult, the hurt he caused Hiro when he walked away back then. In his mind, he was a loser. Not doing well in school, stressed out over the parents’ marriage breaking up, not getting along with their father, very unhappy and not knowing where his future was heading. Certainly not someone for little Hiro to look up to. How would he look after Hiro when he could barely take care of himself?

* The Moriuchi brothers in those days when they used to be around each other a lot, before OOR moved out of Japan 😊

2. Some people need to pull themselves together first before they can love others

That dark period in Taka’s life was not something he’s proud of. He acknowledges it in interviews and his lyrics. Even OOR members admitted that Taka wasn’t exactly a pleasant person to deal with when they first found him. But once he got his life on track, things fell into places. He made amend with his father and got back the Moriuchi name. While Taka couldn’t give back the years with him that Hiro lost, he let Hiro hang around his friends and be a part of his life back in that way.

Even Hiro never denied the perks of being Taka’s brother. The most significant was when one of Taka’s close friends K from Pay Money To My Pain befriended Hiro and how that friendship led to the formation of MY FIRST STORY.

Think again, would Kei Goto a.k.a the late K simply befriend a random underaged high school kid just like that? I highly doubt it 🤔. Hiroki Moriuchi was NOT some random high school kid. K and Taka were buddies and Hiro the high school kid was Taka’s little brother. I doubt Taka would let his little brother hang around someone he didn’t trust. He knew Hiro was in good hands. All these happened only after Taka got his life back on track and was able to be the big brother figure he was meant to be for Hiro.

3. Taka publicly standing up for Hiro would be bad for Hiro’s image

Yes, it would be counter-productive for Taka to do so. You see, the ROOT of the hate and cyber-bullying towards Hiro stemmed from how easy things happened for him because of his family connection. If Taka had spoken out, it would make Hiro appear weak and ultra-dependant on his big brother.

“Duh! Not only he got a band because he’s Taka brother. Now, he needs to be protected like a baby!”

Hmm … does that sound good to you? We also need to see things from the haters’ perspective too, you know. Oh, with Papa being a multi-millionaire? Trust me. Hiro would get even less respect if any of his family members had spoken out for him. The bullying might get even worse.

As for Tomo, anything his family members say would bring unnecessary attention to him. He appeared on TV that one time because of his job at the station. Otherwise, he’s very private. It’s unfair on him if his famous family gives more reasons for the public to scrutinize his life when that’s the last thing he wants.

4. Being seen publicly as a brave independent fighter would be far more beneficial for Hiro

It worked well for Taka. He only started displaying his bonds with his parents AFTER he had firmly made a name for himself even though they had been on good terms since the early days of OOR. Likewise, Hiro would be less relatable to many fans if he is constantly being taken care of by his more famous and successful family members. Isn’t that the public perception Hiro is still trying hard to break away from?

Not just the Moriuchi, I have never seen being publicly defended by family members work well for ANY celebrity in the world. It may work for ordinary folks but things work differently for famous people.

I do support Hiro but I think even his most ardent supporters would agree that he somewhat gives off these “baby” vibes. MFS members themselves seem protective towards him. They let him be mischievious, loud and boisterous with them but they’re always there to hug him when he cries. Therefore, independence from his family would balance that out nicely.

5. Taka made a conscious choice to speak only for himself because he knew any reaction to it would be directed to him and ONLY him

As opposed to Taka speaking out for any of his family members, whom the public might hurl the hate and negative reaction to instead.

Things just work differently for celebrities. In a way, to minimize the bullying towards their loved ones, staying out of their public battle a lot of times is the better way to go. By not bringing more attention to it.

Likewise, none of Taka’s family members said anything when Taka had to face a barrage of criticism and angry reactions at the time. The ones who publicly defended him were his friends and peers. Guys like Mah (SiM) and Masato (Coldrain) among some. For celebrities, somehow testimonies from people they have worked with or even strangers they have encountered hold much higher values than family members.

With their chosen careers, backlash and criticism come with the territory. That’s what their parents want to instill in the two brothers. “You have chosen this path. Learn to deal with it.“

6. Rude fans are rude fans nonetheless

Rude people don’t suddenly become angels just because their idols ask them to. Just look at the backlash against Taka. It was quite brutal. Just like how Hiro got pictures of a woman pooping by his haters, I saw a photo of a “hairy ding dong” for Taka among some, along with truckloads of really scathing words. By his own fans (or should I say “ex-fans"?). If this kind of fans are willing to treat Taka like that just from ONE social media post, then nothing good can come out of it if Taka had said or done anything about Hiro’s haters. The ones who would cheer him would still be the same ones who already support MFS anyway.

Remember when fans were speculating that OOR’s song Right By Your Side as being dedicated to Hiro? Those who like MFS thought it was a sweet gesture but those who don’t like MFS used it as an excuse to say, “Look! Taka wrote a song for Hiro. Yet he still wants to call Taka his rival. What a low life!”. Yes, I’ve personally seen comments like that. So, see? Whatever Taka does regarding Hiro, mean-spirited people will still find a way to set fire to it.

7. There must be more than meets the eye

Fans went nuts when the brothers wore this pair of pants. I doubt it’s a coincidence that Hiro suddenly is comfortable wearing Taka’s look when he used to be sensitive about being called Taka’s copy before.

But that’s not even something new. in January 2018, Taka posted a photo of himself wearing this Monster’s Inc hoodie at Disneyland. That same month, Hiro was wearing that same Disney hoodie at his 24th birthday party.

Heaven knows what Taka had said to Hiro in private especially after MFS Budokan show 🤔. At the end of the day, they are family and though I also know many families who cut ties from each other, Taka and Hiro clearly are the ones who keep theirs 😉.

2 more cents

I feel that Taka is doing the right thing by staying away from Hiro publicly. Not responding to the negativity surrounding Hiro but still letting fans know that his little brother has his full support.

#reply #my first story #maifasu #マイファス #hiroki moriuchi #takahiro moriuchi #one ok rock

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yourescapetofiction · 6 years ago

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The Tides Have Turned-Part 12

A/N: This is my old work, The Tides Have Turned. It is a complete story that I am reposting on this blog so the work isn’t lost and can be found for those interested :)

Twelve

I stood still, my eyes bouncing from face to shocked face of my closest friends. The room became eerily silent, or so it felt. I realized that I had put our entire personal lives on blast, and I felt my cheeks warm with embarrassment.

“Can somebody please tell me what the fuck is going on?” G exclaimed, exasperated.

“Dude, you’re in love with y/n?” Nash asked, eyes wide. “I thought you would at least say something to me, we only grew up together” Johnson scoffed.

“I have no idea what anybody is talking about! This is news to me too! Since when am I in love with y/n?!” Gilinsky yelled.

“It looks like you’ve got other priorities, so I’m gonna go” the girl next to him said. “No wait up!” G tried.

This was turning into a shit show, everybody accusing each other of being dishonest. I quickly slipped out of the circle of people, desperate to be anywhere but here.

Nate didn’t want me for anything other than a quick lay. I couldn’t believe he would lead me on like that. Granted feelings were never vocalized, but why would he act like a different person when it was just the two of us? It made me call our entire hotel trip into question. And now Jack’s blatant confusion, and subsequent rejection, was the cherry on top. I need a fucking drink.

I walked full speed to the bar to drown my sorrows, but was stopped short and yanked into a private room. I came face to face with none other than Jessica.

“What do you want?” I roll my eyes, barely containing my disgust.

“No need for the attitude, it doesn’t make you very appealing” she grinned. I knew she was reveling in what happened out there.

“If you have nothing of value to say, then I’ll be on my way” I say turning to leave. She moved in front of me and placed her hand on the door.

“Not so fast” she spoke in a harsh tone.

“I’m here to warn you that you better back off of Nate. I don’t know whatever you thought you two had going, but it’s over now. He’s mine, always was, and always will be. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away” she threatens.

Normally I would have defended Nate, saying he wouldn’t want her, he’s moved on, etc. The truth is I didn’t know what was going on in his head anymore. I could barely make sense of how he felt about our messed up situation, so how could I speak to whatever the hell he calls what he had with Jessica.

I have had enough of everybody’s bullshit for one night.

“I’m shaking” I mock intimidation. She just lowered her eyes at me.

“Well get used to this, because I’m not going anywhere” she said. I whipped my head back at her words. A devilish grin formed on her face.

“You heard me right. I rented a beach house 2 miles up from yours. So if you even think about going after Nate, you’ve got one hell of a fight ahead of you.”

“It must be sad being that desperate” I say before promptly exiting the spare bedroom, content with having the last words. Now I really needed that drink.

I poured myself a drink and sat on a barstool, wallowing in my own sorrows when a guy sat next to me.

“Hey beautiful, what’s your troubles?” He said.

“Where do I begin?” I say taking a swig of my drink. “I was sleeping with one of my best friends, only to find out that he probably never wants me and will get back with his ex” I wince at the thought.

“Oh then there’s one of my other best friends who basically announced that he isn’t in love with me to an entire party of strangers” I finish both my story, and my drink.

The guy swiftly poured me another, and it was the only thing that made me feel even remotely better, so I accepted.

“That’s rough baby girl,” I cringe at the pet name the guys usually use on me. “I’ve been through a similar situation myself” he said. I widened my eyes in disbelief as he yammered on about a girl back home.

About 5 drinks later I was still rambling about my conflicting feelings for my friends. I was starting to lose my train of thought, and the sharpness of my surroundings. The emotions were too strong when combined with alcohol for me to care.

“You know what would make you feel better?” “Hmm?” I hum, drunk. “A little one on one time” he said smirking. He grabbed my elbow and started to steer me towards a back bedroom. I stumbled on my feet, losing my strength. I had an awful feeling deep in the pit of my stomach, but I didn’t have the wherewithal to do anything about it.

I was tossed onto the bed when I heard the door creak open and then shut again. To my horror, I was face to face with Eric. I tried desperately to make sense of the situation.

“I see you met my friend John” he smirked. It was a setup.

“Your-” I say becoming increasingly uneasy.

“Eric baby. We met on the beach? And then had that romantic encounter in town? You wouldn’t remember I suppose, you’re too gone” he laughed vindictively. “I knew it was only a matter of time before we would get to be alone” he said crawling on the bed towards me.

I sat paralyzed in fear. He slid his hands up my sides and moved to kiss my lips. I turned my head in aversion, but he grabbed my face. He placed a rough kiss on my lips and moved to suck on my neck. He pinned my wrists with his other hand and I writhed underneath him. I didn’t want this, but he had been drinking as well and is much larger than I am.

He started fumbling with my clothes causing my anxiety to reach a new peak.

Sam’s POV

“Come on baby, it’s gotta be through here somewhere” I say pulling the girl I had been dancing with along with me.

Things had been getting pretty steamy on the dance floor between us tonight, so when she whispered she was good to go I couldn’t refuse. We were giggling as we knocked photos off of the wall.

“Shh baby we can’t be too loud” I say careening around the corner where the bedrooms were. I jiggled the handle to the first door and stumbled inside to hear stifled groaning.

“Woah sorry man, looks like somebody is already getting busy in here” I turn to laugh at the girl I was with, but was stopped by the sound of a weak voice.

“Get off of me” it barely resonated in the room.

“Hey man, what’s going on here. Looks like the lady’s not into it” I say.

“Mind your fucking business bro, get out” he grunted harshly in my direction. Something about this situation didn’t feel right. I couldn’t in good conscience leave this girl.

I walked closer to the bed to pull his shoulder back when I was confronted with my worst nightmare. It was y/n.

“GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER” i bellowed shoving him back as hard as I could. The alcohol I had consumed earlier was pumping through my veins. To say I saw red would be an understatement. I’ve never felt this degree of anger towards any human being before in my life.

He went tumbling backwards onto the floor where I was instantly on top of him. I was bashing his face in repeatedly.

“You fucking treat a girl like that man?” I spat beating him. Y/n managed to stand and move towards the doorway.

“Sammy stop, you’re going to kill him!”

Nate’s POV

I was having a beer trying to collect my thoughts on the drama that went down earlier. Everyone in the vicinity began shouting and started to flock towards one area of the house.

“Now what” I mutter, exhausted.

A huge commotion was being made on the inside as I heard somebody yell.

“FIGHT!” They yelled. Knowing my friends, it was probably one of them. Dillon most likely had too much to drink and got into it with another guy.

“Excuse me” I said moving through the growing crowd of people to deal with it. But nothing could have prepared me for the situation in front of me.

“What the fuck?!?!” I yell in utter shock to see Sam beating a guy to a pulp. He was almost unrecognizable but as I got closer I realized it was that asshole from the beach.

“Dude he had y/n” Sam said breathless. “I think he was going to assault her” he continued. I felt my blood spike. He took the opportunity to slam Sammy into the wall, launching into his attack.

I ran at full speed into his side and began to wail on him. Every ounce of anger I had was pouring out of me. How could he do this to a girl? MY girl?

“Yo what the fuck is this!” Johnson exclaimed rushing into the room along with the other boys. A posse of Eric’s friends also joined the party and pulled me off of him to start hitting me. Within minutes it was a full out brawl between us.

We stumbled out of the room and into the living room in the midst of the fight. Thank god the squad rolls deep.

Y/n’s POV

I stood and watched in horror. This was a sobering sight. My best friends were in a vicious fist fight because I was foolish enough to accept drinks from a stranger.

I yelled for them to stop, but it was like talking to a wall- they were too far gone.

Gilinsky rounded the corner from the bathroom, eyes widening at the sight before him. He must have left shortly after our confrontation and wasn’t aware of dire situation. He immediately broke into a sprint to break up the fight-or join it, I couldn’t be sure.

“Hey! Back the fuck off!” He yelled in a tone so harsh, I don’t think I’ve ever heard Gilinsky like that.

Fists were flying in every direction but there was something that caught my eye. It was shiny, made out of metal. I felt the gears turning in my head as I came to the realization that it was a knife.

One of Eric’s hoodlum buddies pulled it from his back pocket as Gilinsky was holding one of his arms and throwing punches any way he could. The guy brought his arm back before swinging it forward with full force. I could hear the blood rush in my ears as I moved towards the brawl.

“JACK LOOK OUT!”

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ethicsgirls · 6 years ago

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Red or Dead and HemingwayDesign co-founder and original designer, Wayne Hemingway MBE is chasing new ways to improve the things that matter in life

What happens when you hear the name Wayne Hemingway? Are you instantly transported back to the world of the Blitz kids, Acid House and Thatcher’s Britain? Do images of designer Doc Martens, subverted corporate logos, and the Bros watch-topped shoes fill your mind? We had the pleasure of catching up with Wayne about what he’s been up to recently.

Having started from humble beginnings selling second hand clothes on a market stall in Camden Market with his then girlfriend Gerardine, the pair went on to create the fashion industry’s first affordable designer label, Red or Dead. Eventually they exceeded all their expectations, winning the Designer of the Year awards and catching the eyes of famous fashion stylists, clubbers, and fashion industry pros. Even Australian songstress Kylie Minogue wore Red or Dead on the front cover of Smash Hits in 1988 and erstwhile pop icons Bros wore their watch shoes everywhere. Red or Dead had become as big as Alexander McQueen, but more affordable and with more emphasis on street style.

The brand Red or Dead was sold in 1999 giving the Hemingways (by then married and bringing up four children) the necessary resources and time to take on exciting new ventures. HemingwayDesign was established and began to focus on varied aspects of design from small products and artworks up to large-scale housing projects. The design team feels passionately that regeneration provides an obvious social benefit and have worked on urban transformation programmes all over the country. When asked about their design influences Wayne explains what motivates him and his team: ‘We are driven by societal need, everything that we do has got to have a social, people-focused purpose behind it... All of us at HemingwayDesign are driven to design for the common good. We wouldn’t design a private home for somebody rich. We would only design affordable housing and don’t subscribe to the oft elitist stance of many large designer brands’.

As we chat to Wayne, it’s apparent that HemingwayDesign would not be where it is without him and his wife’s combined efforts and Wayne states that ‘everything we did, we did together’. Wayne met Gerardine in Lancashire when he spotted her wearing an eye-catching homemade outfit. Gerardine always made her own clothes and it turned out the pair were both obsessed with dancing at nightspots like the legendary Wigan Casino.

Even at this young age Wayne had had an interest in clothes, as both his Mother and Grandmother were seamstresses and sometimes made clothes and outfits for him. A telling pair of photos shows a very young Wayne dressed as a cowboy and an ersatz Tarzan. Wayne was promenaded around his birthtown of Morecambe by his proud Nan, and as he grew older his Mum did not mind if he went off to rock concerts around the country. Wayne notched up his first Bowie gig aged 11 and then the Sex Pistols in 1976 at the start of the punk movement. It was shortly after that, Gerardine and Wayne headed to London to do more dancing and watching bands. A type of thrifty homemade approach defined punk fashion and this influenced the Hemingways later when they setup shop.

I asked Wayne what he thought of the ‘fast fashion’ of today, something which is in stark contrast to where he came from. Are people falling out of love with this sort of approach to clothing I ask? Wayne says: ‘For certain. Growth in the feeling that second-hand clothing is a badge of honour, and not going shopping for shopping’s sake, is a significant element of the downturn of the High Street. In wearing secondhand, upcycling, making our own clothes, we were a tiny minority for most of our lives, but all of a sudden it’s seen as the right thing to do’. Wayne relates this shift away from fast fashion with an example, ‘at a dinner party you now get more caché from saying you’ve put a decent outfit together from jumble sales or charity shops than you would from saying that you wear D & G or something. There’s no doubt that’s a major societal shift’. Again he proves his point with an example - this time a ‘Boutique by Shelter’ shop they designed the interiors for at the new Coal Drops Yard retail district in Kings Cross. Charity shops are undoubtedly major players on London’s high streets these days.

Wayne doesn’t like the idea that consumers would purchase something and dispose of it quickly, and in his opinion slow fashion is better for the pocket. He makes the point that ‘most people do crave newness in how they dress, it’s part of being a human being, but it’s far more fun doing it creatively than letting some unimaginative businessman who owns some boring chain doing unethical practice produce that for you. That wouldn’t make sense to me.’

One of HemingwayDesign’s events coming up next month is the Classic Car Boot Sale, a weekend micro-festival of sustainable shopping giving people a chance to make money from trading clothes, upcycling and selling street food. Wayne states ‘if we are in a position to do that, then that's the kind of thing we should do’, again showing his genuine commitment to creating events that have social benefits. Other events from HemingwayDesign taking place this year are Vintage by the Sea, The Festival of Thrift, The National Festival of Making and First Light Festival in Lowestoft, which will be worth a visit.

Just as we start to wrap up the interview, I squeeze in one final question, ‘What is your definition of exceptional design?’ He tells me that if it looks at an issue that needs addressing, like, making transport accessible, providing affordable housing, or enabling growth for all sectors of society in deprived areas then in his mind it’s good design. As he says ‘if you move things along to another level and if it makes people happy, then that's good design’. I love Wayne’s egalitarian view of the world and I applaud how the lessons in thrift he learned from his Grandma still apply today in his quest for sustainable design solutions.

Written by Julia Nelson and Matt Fletcher

Photographs courtesy of Wayne Hemingway MBE

www.hemingwaydesign.co.uk

The Classic Car Boot Sale, 27 & 28 April 2019, King's Cross

#hemingwaydesign #festival of thrift #vintage by the sea #vintagefestival #first light fesitval lowestoft #design #national festival of making #british designers

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itsnyactis · 7 years ago

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“I CRADLED YOU IN MY ARMS” aka the Bonding Moment™

So I get to the autograph line with Luka aka @mustlovelance like 30mins before Jeremy’s first signing session and there’s no one there, right? We check the schedule because wtf we thought this would be harder to accomplish, but by that point a few other Voltron cosplayers show up and end up being #first just by nature of a staff member approaching and asking everyone to begin a line. We crack jokes together, kill some time, talk about cosplay and All Things Voltron because what else are you gonna do on line to meet people because of Voltron??? Jeremy shows up around five minutes into what was supposed to be his signing time, everyone collectively panics a little and gets that Starstruck Fan look on their face til he...... runs off to the bathroom which honestly??? What a Lance move, A+ my dude.

He reappears, first few people go through the line and snap some photos with him. He’s incredibly personable and patient, double-checking name spellings and making sure everyone’s happy. Then it’s Luka’s turn, and she presents him with her Voltron board game gift which went over super well, his staffers even thought it was cool and asked for photos of the two of them with it.

So then it’s my turn.

I ask him to sign my bayard [I know, I know, Red not Blue but SHUSH], to which he says I gotta get Steven to sign it next (boy you think I won’t.....). I may or may not have cracked a joke about Steven being the true cryptid.

So then I get to ask him for a photo. Initially, I was worried my planned request wouldn’t be feasible and it’d just be an over-the-table selfie situation, but he was totally cool with stepping out and doing full body shots with people alongside his table setup. I expected him to be a little confused, or even to flat out turn me down since everyone had just done casual selfies or quick smiling shots until me, but I went ahead and asked anyway. The conversation went like so:

me: Okay, so uh, bit of a special request for the photo? Jeremy: Whatcha got. me: Can we have a bonding moment? Jeremy: -squints suspiciously- ….Explain??? me: I’m not gonna make you get on the floor but can I like. cradle you in my arms and dip you sort of….? Jeremy: OH yeah yeah okay— -goes to put his arm around my shoulders- wait no. I got a better idea okay I’m gonna jump— me: I’m sorry you’re what— Jeremy: —on three yeah i’m gonna jump okay— me: —are you serious oh my— Jeremy: Yeah yep totally are you gonna catch me? you gotta catch me okay ready and GO— me: —OH MY GOD YOU’RE SERIOUS UH OKAY OKAY YEAH SLDKAGJAS

Cue this disaster where I almost dropped him because I was so surprised and missed his outside leg

And then I Got My Shit Together and decided I would’ve let myself hit the ground and die before I let him fall

Bonding Moment™ achieved, photographic proof Obtained✓

I earned a bro hug and his thanks after all this, and that’s the story of how Jeremy Shada trusts me enough to tell me to cradle him in my arms despite meeting me for the first time ten minutes prior.

#jeremy shada #keith kogane #lance mcclain #connecticon #connecticon 2017 #ctcon 2017 #ctcon #voltron #voltron legendary defender #mine

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glittergummicandypeach · 4 years ago

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‘Ramy’: A TV show for those who still care about religion

(RNS) — When he found the joke, Ramy Youssef had been searching for it for four months. It was the summer of 2015. He was back east visiting his parents in his native New Jersey and had driven his mom’s car out to Brooklyn to perform a quick stand-up set.

“I just started talking about what I was doing. I was like, ‘I’m fasting Ramadan.’” There were about 10 people in the crowd. “Oh your parents make you do that?” a guy shouted out. “I was like, no, this isn’t about anyone making me do this. It’s what I want to do.” Then the comic blurts out, “I believe in God. Like, God, God. Not yoga.”

“And there’s just this like, pop. Like a laugh,” Youssef explained during an interview over Zoom.

On the drive back to New Jersey, he said, he listened back to his set on his iPhone and then shot off a text to fellow comedian Jerrod Carmichael. “Dude, I think I found a joke.”

The first thing people tend to notice about “Ramy,” the A24/Hulu series written, directed and produced by Youssef, is that it’s the first American television show about a Muslim family. The show lives and breathes in the specificity of a millennial male raised in an immigrant Arab community in New Jersey, but what the show tries to reveal is something not spoken of much in public, and certainly not in Hollywood: people’s actual relationship to faith and to the greater questions of purpose and meaning.

The show is the product of the auteur-vision of 29-year-old Youssef, who has spent the last decade working as a comic and actor in Hollywood. It’s a culmination of what grew out of that first joke, and in two seasons has a firm grasp on a new comedic language for which to approach and to talk about spiritual matters in the generally secular, irreligious landscape of comedy and television. It’s only able to do this because it’s written from a deeply autobiographical place of ruthless self-interrogation, which allows the character’s questions to come through the screen with an authenticity that’s hard to ignore.

The character Ramy Hassan began as a fictionalization of Youssef’s own spiritual and emotional experiences more so than anything else. Oddly enough, Youssef didn’t build Ramy to be liked. He had an idea that Ramy would act as a representation of our lower selves, those purely egoistic unthinking qualities of our beings that irrationally oppose and battle our higher aspirations.

Actors Hiam Abbass, left, and Amr Waked, right, play the parents of Ramy Youssef's title character in “Ramy.” Photo courtesy of Hulu

But he’s not one-dimensional either.

Ramy is a well-meaning, earnest but immature seeker, and if he possesses any heroic quality, it’s his refusal to give up on his soul, despite his own seemingly constant moral failures. No matter how far he falls, he never loses the aspiration to be good, even when surrounded on all sides by forces that we recognize might stamp out that light of ambition if it were us in his shoes.

We see his world established in the pilot episode: On the one hand, he is a conflicted participant of a hedonistic culture of partying and sex, but on the other, he feels a spiritual strength and connection to his faith, despite elements of a closed-off, illogical conservatism. This all makes Ramy Hassan a most unusual protagonist, a character whose motivation is seeking a genuine connection to God.

“I’ve always felt like a very honest seeker, and I wanted to make work that felt like that. (Work) that felt self-examining,” Youssef explained. He came out to Hollywood at 19 years old, and in the first six or seven years appeared on a few TV shows and was doing regular stand-up, but he felt a yearning for his work to be representative of what was going on inside of him in a spiritual sense.

A poster for the Hulu series “Ramy.” Image courtesy of Hulu

He began by talking about his guilt on stage, mostly around premarital sex. Growing up and into adulthood, Youssef never questioned his faith, but he did start to doubt himself in it when he began to slip up.

“So much of my life I was saying, I want to do this the right way. I’m not going to have sex until I get married,” he said. “Somewhere along the way I broke those rules and then started to feel like the way the setup was around me that I should leave (the religion). And that made me really sad because I didn’t want to let go.”

The more a question scared Youssef, the more valuable it became for him to include it in his stand-up. If he got up on stage and didn’t feel vulnerable, or the most scared he’d ever felt to say something, it ceased to feel like the work he was supposed to be doing.

Taking a difficult feeling and then extrapolating the jokes and stories from it became Youssef’s art. “I’m putting myself under the microscope. And then, and then I started to think, oh, this will be really cool because I want these conversations to come up. I want this kind of self-examination to happen in our communities,” he explained.

Once he realized he could be a force to instigate real conversation and examination, Youssef brought together a team to build a show around this idea. “I actually have this vehicle where I can create this character for everyone to examine. You know, this character is not built to be liked.”

The show depicts a religious environment where every character except for Ramy seems content with the various mismatches between their beliefs and their practice of their faith. These are treated as humorous idiosyncrasies rather than as tragic character flaws — which allows them to serve as metaphors for the audience to pick up on unexamined faults and difficult questions we otherwise might be too ashamed to see and too afraid to ask.

In the first season, Ramy Hassan meets an earnest but simple white convert in the mosque who points to the moral lesson that undergirds the entire season: “You’re all like, I do these things and I don’t do things, so I’m this kind of person, right? It’s a trick of the devil, bro.” With this line and its characteristic non-chalance of Youssef's writing, the minor character delivers a deep spiritual lesson gleaned from the inner tradition of Islam: that to identify oneself with one’s actions is poison to the spiritual path. One will either despair because they see themselves as a sinner, or will be self-satisfied because of their pious works. The Sufis say a sign that a good action was not accepted by God is that one remembers he or she did it.

Season 2 proves Youssef’s vision for art can translate into stories outside of his own personal narrative. We are introduced to Shaykh Ali Malik, played by Mahershala Ali, the first person on the show who practices faith in a way that appears strong yet still relatable. He is a religious character who feels human, without being hypocritical. Ali plays a Sufi teacher whom Ramy latches onto in the beginning of the season, and he shows what a balanced approach to religion might look like.

Actors Ramy Youssef, left, and Mahershala Ali in Season 2 of “Ramy.” Photo by Craig Blankenhorn/Hulu

“Islam is like an orange,” Shaykh Ali explains to Ramy early in the season. “There’s an outer part and an inner part. If someone only got the rules and rituals, they might think Islam was tough and bitter … the rind without the flesh is bitter and useless. The flesh without the rind would quickly rot. The outer Shariah (religious law) protects the inner spirituality, and the inner spirituality gives the outer Shariah its purpose and meaning.”

Ramy offers up an entirely different set of questions in the second season. Ramy’s character appears better in some ways — he is, for the most part, no longer engaging in premarital sex, for example. But he’s swapped out that particular vice for a fairly regular diet of porn and candy. He tries to follow the instructions of his teacher but still continues to lie and not take responsibility for his actions.

Whereas the first season felt like an encouragement to the would-be religious, Season 2 seems like a parable for the religious: You might think you’re better because you’ve changed your circumstances, but without the self-examination and rigor Shaykh Ali represents, when tested, you will fall.

All comedy relies on tension; there has to be an inhale and an exhale. What Youssef has discovered is that the inhale can be used to take deep dives into the soul to bring out what was already there.

“It’s not about giving answers. I’m not in a position to do that. I would be idiotic if I tried to do that through any of the forms I create, but can I bring people closer to their questions? That seems to me to be my audience — people who need that, who want that, who are excited by that. Anyone who feels like they solidly have the answer probably hates my work.”

The first two seasons of “Ramy” are just the first few chapters for what might become a modern-day epic, an illogical and soulful morality tale for people who have questions they’ve been too afraid to ask or who are still interested in the future and health of religion in America. It’s a bizarre hagiography of a ridiculous man. Were Ramy Hassan a literary character, he’d be the Don Quixote of the spiritual path, marching forth in his mission with unending enthusiasm, undeterred by his own repeated failures.

This content was originally published here.

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punkwithpaints · 7 years ago

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College Weeb

Finally, I’m away from high school and in college. None of the weebs had went to the college I chose. Thank God. I was so excited my dudes. I’d be in COLLEGE art classes. I would finally not just be limited to 2 rooms, BUT A WHOLE BUILDING DEDICATED TO ART. I was very happy about it. The idea of having a whole semester dedicated towards just 1 area, such as painting, was just awesome to me. On top of they, they had offered course I’d never been able to take before, so more or less, I was super excited to learn new things. Also, I’d get to be around people who actually knew how to draw. Or so I thought.

I had a drawing 1 class and a Color Theory painting class. (I’m just gonna refer to it as Painting 1) So, my drawing class rolls around and I go on up there and sit on one of the bar stools which we’re in a circle. A girl is already sitting to the left of me, wearing a beanie and had various pins on her bag. I wanted to talk to someone, but like I’ve said before, I’m not the best at starting a conversation. Luckily (not so much now), she started talking, saying hi and the sort. The small group of us that had gathered started to talk about what year we all were and where we’re from. Weeb is just gonna be called Weeb cause I’m running out of initials. She was the one sitting to my left. She kept talking to me, and I didn’t mind as we talked about what we thought the class was going to be like and all that. Seemed nice enough. She asked me what I drew, I told her I was into fantasy type things and mythical creatures. She told me she like, yep, anime. Alright, that’s fine. I don’t mind if you doodle it on your free time and such, but I was positive that a person in college, going to be an art major, had their own style other than just anime. I figured she just used it for quick sketches, certain commissions, whatever. Our teacher came in, and honestly, I loved this professor. He was this small Asian man, kinda old, and was blunt as fuck. This is important for later. This teacher is very excited to see our work, and tells us he would love to see our sketchbooks. If we would like to bring them in, he’d love to check them out.

Now, I loved this idea, given that I had been working on large, detailed headshots of my characters, some fan art, and other things, and would love to hear his feedback right off the bat. I double check with him next class period, asking if he would mind if I brought mine in. He was very excited and told me he would love it. So, next time I had him, I brought my current sketchbook and my concept sketchbook, as usual. What I didn’t know was that, yeah, my teacher was going to talk to me about him, but he also wanted to show and talk to the class about it as well. I didn’t really mind, given that he asked first and everyone seemed really nice in this class. I said I didn’t mind and he asked everyone to scoot up to the table he was at and passed my sketchbooks around, telling everyone to be careful. I’m not the best at receiving compliments face to face, due to the fact I’m very flattered and don’t know what to say. (Seriously though, thanks to anyone who likes my art <3) Soon enough I was getting students complimenting me about how much they loved my stuff, how cool it looked, and other things. I was very flattered and thanked them repeatedly. When someone would do the whole, “I wish I was this good” or whatever, I’d tell them they were, just in their own way.

I’d like to make a disclaimer again: By no means do I consider myself an amazing, perfect artist. Hell nah. I got so much to learn and work on, and I think I’m ‘okay’ at best. I never want someone to tell me they wish they were as good as me and such, because I take that as they’re comparing themselves to me and saying I’m better. I firmly believe in the idea that artists shouldn’t compare their skill level to another artists to judge their work. Compare it to something you did a year or so ago! Your improvement and skill level is YOUR improvement and skill level, not everyone else’s, you got this. <3

Anyway, pep talk out of the way, lets move on. Weeb saw it and was suddenly like, quiet, I really don’t remember her saying much actually. I didn’t really think about it though, since I had been talking to another classmate about what marker brands I used and going over the inking pens we liked. (I was so happy to talk to people who geeked out about this stuff as much as I did.) My teacher told me I was a great artist and he would love to see what else I make.

Alright, so as we go through the semester, I’m having a great time. My drawing class just used graphite/charcoal for our drawings, and I was happy to get back into the swing of using them. At some point, my teacher had been talking to weeb about one of her drawings, and asked if she had an art background. Some people in this class were taking it as an elective, so some people didn’t have any experience with art. She came all pouty to me and was like, “I’m really upset.” I don’t really care too much, but go ahead. She went on to tell me about how she was upset that our teacher thought she had no art background.

Being honest, I totally thought she didn’t either…She didn’t know shading, she didn’t know proportions, she didn’t know the difference between graphite and charcoal, didn’t know the difference between oil and acrylic paints. Y’all know how when you buy brushes, the package or display usually has what media they’re best used for printed on them? She saw one that said all purpose, and still asked what she could use them with. Absolutely no common sense, even with the bare basics of art. Now, I tried so hard to help explain things to her, but it just went right over her head.

We were in this art club on campus, by the way, and this group had a group chat. This is gonna all come into play later.

During Christmas break, I had taken all my art supplies back with me and sat my workspace back up. I had taken a picture and sent it to the group chat, telling everyone I was excited to have my workspace all fixed back up and asked if they were excited for break. Everyone talked about Christmas Break and was sending pics of their setup as well, since we had never got to see each others actual set ups or rooms, and we had talked about them frequently.

Now, in my photo, in a kinda obscure area, I have a Babe Ruth tin that I store some of my pens in. Weeb messages me privately, zoomed into that tin and was like, “Where did you buy that?” Okay, whoa, weird, how hard were you looking at my photo bro? Whatever, I tell her I had found it in the paint bin when I was the Paint Master in drama. She asks, “So, you didn’t buy it?” No, obviously not, considering I FOUND it. She lets it go.

Christmas came and went, and she messaged me, telling me she had gotten some Prismacolor markers. Cool dude. She bragged about how she had been watching a bunch of tutorial and read up on them. HOWEVER, she immediately started to ask me how to use them and the such. Okay, fair game, I’ll help you considering you’ve never used them, but if you’ve read and looked at a bunch of research, why are you asking me? I’ll help though, maybe she just needs some verification or something. She proceeds to ask, “What’s the difference between a brush nib and a bullet nib???” Bruh. I thought you said you looked at research? What the hell? So, I explain it all and give my personal opinion on which one I liked better and why. She continued to ask question, being such as, “How do you shade, like, a pale skin tone?”

Bitch. The fuck? With some pale ass markers? Nah, the most jet black marker you can find. I explained it anyway.

“Why are there green and blue markers in my set if it’s skintone?”

Boi. Cause they cool colors used for shading. How do you not understand that?

“So, how do you shade with markers???”

Bittttttttttttttch. I explain how to pick out color choices and the whatnot. I tell her that I usually start with my undertones and then my base color. Then I keep moving up to darker colors and purples/blues.

BRO SHE ARGUED WITH ME.

“Um, so you color in the whole area with your base??? I don’t think you do that! It’ll dry out and you can’t blend them together.”

I told her how they were alcohol based and could normally blend just fine with each other as long as you weren’t waiting like, days or something like that. A minute or two won’t kill it.

“No, I don’t think that’s right. How do you make it not streaky?”

Whatever, fine, fuck it, welcome to Burger King because have it your way I guess. I told her when it came to making sure the marker didn’t look streaky when putting it down was something that depended on how you held it personally and that the best way to learn it was mainly from practice. She seems bummed it’s not something that instantly happens but oh well. She told me she was gonna be coloring something she inked and asked how long she should wait for the ink to dry. I told her I never really had an issue with my ink pens smudging, so maybe a minute or so just to make sure? She waited 40 minutes. I told her that when she got started coloring it with the markers, that new markers are very saturated with ink and may bleed a little, so stay away from the lines some to give it some room just in case.

Now, remember I told her to lay down her main color first, completely, and to work it up? She told me she read/watched a tutorial (Oh hey, there’s the tutorials you said you watched a million of.) that said to do it in sections. I’m not opposed to that, but honestly, if you color a section completely, then try to start another section, is it not gonna look streaky and wrong considering the edges have had time to dry? Like, it’s gonna take you 30 minutes to an hour for that one section, IDK, isn’t that plenty of time for it to dry, like you feared it would???

Sure kid, just go for it. I’m talking to a wall here. Little while later she messaged me and was like:

“I fucked up.”

Sure enough, she did the whole section coloring thing and was right against the lines, so it bled everywhere and wasn’t blending right.

Nailed it.

Later on in the year, the next semester, I was taking a 3D class (making large sculptures out of cardboard) and a Digital class (Learning to use photoshop and all that.). She was in 3D with me. This semester really let me see how crazy this person was.

There is this Art and Literature novel/magazine thing my college did every year. You could enter up to 6 pieces in the art area. 3 for publishing, and 3 for the cover art. I still wasn’t very good at photoshop, so I just submitted 3 things for publishing. She entered too and so did a lot of my friends from the art group. There was an upperclassmen in our group who I’ll call K. K knew her way around Photoshop and the sorts, so she submitted for the cover art. By this point, I had already had one of the girls (sweetest person I know) admit to me that weeb was talking shit behind my back because I had mentioned that I didn’t find anime very original. She said I was bashing other artists styles to make myself look better and that I was stuck up, all that good stuff.

I wasn’t surprised considering I ha began to see through her and realize she was one of /those/ people. After I had begun to realize that (before Christmas break) I had been trying to talk to her less, considering she would also come into where I was working and not leave me alone for the whole day.

(Sidenote: I’m someone who very much prefers to be alone when I’m working. Honestly, I like to be alone by myself most of the time. There’s a few people I usually don’t mind sitting and being around me during these times. She wasn’t one. In 3D foundations class, it’s a very demanding class so you’d have to stay long hours after class to finish the project on time. I work fast, like I mentioned, and I would stay up until 3-4 in the morning anyway, just chilling in the art building. She’d constantly just invite herself over to where I was working to work too. Me working around her turned into, “Come over here and help me work instead of doing your project.” So, due to her constantly asking me to come over and help her, I didn’t finish as quick as I normally did. I had mentioned to her quite a few times that I prefer to work alone and not have anyone in the room. Again, went over her head. She took it as ‘I told you I like to be alone, but since I told you, you can stay because I totally don’t mean you.’. Especially you. One night, I’ve literally gotten 10 hours of sleep in the last 3-4 days. It’s 1 in the morning and I’ve done all I can to my project. Like, I can’t do anything else because I didn’t have what I needed. Considering I hadn’t been leaving until 4AM a lot of the times, hell yeah I was leaving and going to bed. So I start packing my stuff up and she noticed. “Wait!!! Are you leaving?!?”

Yeah.

“Don’t leave!!!!!! I get scared being in here alone!!!!”

She made me feel bad so I stayed.

Until fucking 3:30 in the morning. Again.

I mentioned multiple times how tired I was, how I hadn’t slept really. She just goes, “Wow, how are you alive??” Bitch I ain’t. I’m fucking dead and you’re the one who killed me.

She tried to pull this stunt again next week. I just looked at her and went, “You’ll be alright.” And left. I’m not your babysitter. Next morning, she started to try and guilt trip me.

“Yeah, I stayed about an hour after you left, but I started getting scared and cried, I had to leave.” I took a sip of my coffee and went, “Not my problem.” (Are you seeing where my fucks are going? That’s right, right out the window.) She kept trying to stay in the art building as long as I did after I mentioned that I usually stayed until 4AM, either working on something, or just watching videos since I didn’t want to bother my roommates. I could be over analyzing, but I feel like her mindset was, “If I stay in here as long as they do, I’ll be just as good.”

Nope, try again. It’s not the time you spend in the art building, it’s how you work to improve yourself.

Also, everyday in 3D, when I’d walk by I’d say hello, just to be nice. Never got one back, always, “Ugh, I’m going to kill myself.” Or “Kill me” because she would bitch and moan about how hard the project was. She’d always always whine and cry that her’s were bad (tru) and our teacher was going to fail her and no one would look at her sculpture, dumb shit basically. End sidenote.)

My first red flag that this person was /that/ type of person was when we completed our first 3D foundations project. One of her ‘friends’ (weeb talked shit about them, as you’ll see.) had made this really awesome, large scale 20 sided die, complete with each number carved out. It was super cool and everyone really liked it. Later that week, Weeb is talking to me and she’s like, “I’m mad that M is getting so much attention for their project! That was my idea first!”

She went on to explain that the 2 of them had brainstormed together and that was one of the ideas they had come up with. M had really liked the idea and asked if she wanted to do it, which Weeb told them no, they were considering a different thing. M went ahead and did it. Weeb got pissed????? What???? Where is your logic? You told them to go ahead.

That was my next red flag, they were ‘friends’ with someone only to shit talk about them and be mad that they were doing well. She’d constantly be complaining to me about how M always was showing off and didn’t deserve to be noticed like that. (Dudes I don’t even know.) I tended to ignore her because I liked M and enjoyed their stuff, and knew that Weeb was a jealous jerk. A few weeks later, Me and Weeb are in 3D. It’s about 2 and a half hours long, so we can take a break to go get food or whatever since it’s early in the morning. She notices I’m getting my lanyard and getting ready to go get some coffee and food. She wants to come with me and I can tell she’s being pouty about something. Now, I want to clarify something. This isn’t like, you noticed your friend seems a little sad and ask them what’s wrong, nope. She would always sigh and pout and drop cryptic messages like some 13 year olds DeviantArt journal. Sure enough, we head outside, it’s raining. All I have is a flannel with a hood. She’s got an umbrella. Never once asked if I wanted to share the umbrella. Whatever, I like rain. K comes running up to us, very excited and was like, “Guys!! I just got told I won the cover art area!” I was very happy for her, and told her congrats and such. Weeb literally doesn’t say jackshit and just glares. We keep walking after that and I try to start up a conversation. “I love the rain. It’s so nice.” Or something to that effect. Of course I get a pouty huff and a “I’m really upset about that.” What? The rain???? What?

“That K won that. She’s not that good, like, I could do better! She didn’t deserve that.” Bitch, excuse the fuck me? By this time we’re in the Starbucks on campus. I’ve already decided I’m not dealing with this and just gave small, “Mhm. Yeah.” As answers as I ordered and let her bitch. I got my food and we sit down. She literally hasn’t stopped ranting. Then she drops this bombshell, not kidding.

“I know I shouldn’t be, but I get jealous when other artists are better than me.”

She just stared at me and I sat there 100% done with this bullshit, but I had set a goal for myself to try and be supportive and to help others, use my words, ya know? Rather than being like, “You fucking dipshit what the fuck-“ I just said, “Yeah, jealousy isn’t a good thing when it comes to art. It tends to hinder someones ability to improve, and artists shouldn’t compare themselves to others, rather you should go to them for inspiration and guidance.” Holy shit high five me, you said words that didn’t include, ‘Fuck you’ in them. ONCE AGAIN, SHE COMPLETE IGNORES MY ATTEMPT AT HELP. “Yeah, well, I just can’t help it.” Bitch, yes you fucking can, if you actually tried at it, but apparently you don’t try at anything. I decided to try a different approach.

“I use to be like that, and got jealous at artists that were better, but looking back, I saw absolutely no growth in my work from that time.”

#Read@10:34 and ignored of course. “But you’re good now!!” MOTHERFUCKER. Because I stopped being a jealous twat at the age of 11????? Jesus Christ. “Well, what did you submit for the cover art? Maybe I can help you.” This ho looks at me and goes:

“Oh, I didn’t enter anything.”

What. The actual. Fuck.

Done. Done, 100% done. Fuck this Shit I’m out. You literally can’t be this fucking dense. I just blocked everything out at that and went back to the class. Now I was really trying to avoid talking to this weeb.

During this time, I was also voted to be the president of the art group, while K was told she could be Vice President. Weeb literally bullied/harassed her out of the position by messaging her like, “I really wanted that position, are you sure I can’t do it?? You’re always too busy to come to meetings.”

On down the year, I had entered 3 pieces to be judged to be put into an art exhibit. She did too. I didn’t tell her I was doing it because I knew she’d get all mad about it. My 3 pieces got in, hers didn’t. She started to complain and whine immediately, trying to get me to compliment her stuff. “My stuff is never good enough I guess.” Tru. Moving on.

I had gotten pretty well distinguished in the art department. I had gotten a lot of awards and the teachers liked to talk to me. Around this time, M was told one of her photography pieces had been accepted into the Colleges Art and Literature book, and I was also told my work was also accepted. I didn’t mention it at first, since Weeb hadn’t gotten in. I knew she’d be pissed. Finally, I mentioned. She acted all proud and was like, “Oh, congrats!” I knew she didn’t mean it for a second. Another friend of mine (Not an art major, but drew in their spare time,) took an art class for fun. She had left a critique and noticed Weeb talking to M and someone else, telling them that I was ‘always trying to one up her’ and ‘leaving their sketchbook open for compliments.’ And ‘showing off.’ Keep in mind, I had no sketchbooks for these classes. Only a small one to sketch a quick layout for my 3D project, since we had to have a model. She wasn’t even in my other class. The other 2 classes from last semester was the drawing class (no sketchbook, just giant art pads.) and painting class, which she wasn’t in. So????????? My friend let me know.

I was officially done. I wasn’t dealing with this again, in college, from people who were suppose to be adults. Now, she had texted me on like, Wednesday at 11 PM asking if I was in the art building, which I was, but damn it leave me alone, so I didn’t reply. It was around finals week. I was done with my art finals (Making the piece, not presenting), so once again I was in the art building, watching videos. I’ve been on the group chat, basically quoting word from word what she had said and telling my friends how people like that are just horrible people. Everyone was agreeing and Weeb hadn’t answered. So I strolled my petty ass right on over, next door, to the 3D room (I was in painting) and Weeb and another girl (that was actually another friend.) was in there. I sat down by the other girl, E, and started telling her about this ‘person’ that said these things, and quoted what she had said.

Deadass Froze.

She still tried to talk and put in input like she totally didn’t say that. I headed back to the painting room until 4 AM rolled by and I started to head out. Now, I could have went left and to an elevator where she wouldn’t see me leave. But remember, she’s scared to be alone. So, I went right and in front of the 2 doors that were open to that room. I made sure she saw me leave and I heard this feeble, “Hey!!” Kept walking.

Got to my dorm and finally replied to the message she sent (It was like, Thrusday or Friday now.) I answered it with:

No, I left.

“I know, I saw you.”

Good, thought so.

“Hey, I read the group chat. I just wanted to say I’m sorry if I ever said anything like that. If I ever said anything like that and offended you, I’m sorry.”

I was pissed. You’re gonna try and deny it when I have 2 separate people telling me you’re talking shit? You’re just mad you got caught. So I didn’t reply until the next day, since me and a bunch of friends went out to eat to celebrate almost being done with the year. I replied back with,

“I’ve had 2 different sources come to me and let me know you were saying those things behind my back. I had to deal with that all through highschool, and frankly, I’m not dealing with it in college. Have a good summer.”

She never answered, but funny enough, she ran back to the 1st girl she that she bitched about me to and started trying to make me look like the bad person, saying she never said that stuff. Funny bro.

So next semester, I get to deal with kicking her out of the group, considering I’ll be president and I don’t stand for that kind of stuff. Wish me luck.

#weeb #weeaboo #weeb cringe #weeb story #weeb stories #weeaboo stories #weeaboo story #art #art class #art classes #college #personal #story

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