#I have begun having to wear supportive sandals indoors

[seeminglyseph]

Somehow I started playing BG3 again despite being in a DAI mood based purely on the fact that I was distracted and was considering a Sorcerer/Wizard multiclass situation and became entirely focused on multiclassing a character and also just existing in “fuck around Act 1 and be a half elf with draconic sorcery again” because I am so sore and exhausted and when I go back into DAI I am reminded of the fact that I have had the time to like… build a set of characters that I like… have allowed to grow out of the bounds of canon into their own beasts. And when I go back to canon I remember “oh right fuck. All of this is about to be proven wrong by a new game. I just had like a decade to build a story of my own making because we kinda just got scraps of story development for a really long time and I just made my own in my head to tide myself over.”

Which I’m not like. Mad at, it just takes a bit of time to recalibrate to “right, all my headcanon lore needs to be forgotten because the real lore is actually going to be updated and I can’t get confused when the characters and story I created to keep the adventure going don’t exist and the lore I made up isn’t real.”

Which feels like. So stupid in its own way, but like… DAI came out in 2014, trespasser came out in 2015. I’ve had time to like… construct my own narratives that serve storylines that just… exist for me. I know they’re self indulgent, and honestly for a while there the Dragon Age fandom scared the shit out of me so I didn’t want to write it all down and share it because I knew it was self indulgent and I didn’t really want to like… get in trouble for it. And people got in trouble for some very mild things in the DA fandom. And if you say there isn’t you’re lying because it has a fuckin’ reputation. I’ve known multiple people uninterested in the series based entirely on the toxic sludge that comes with the fandom’s reputation.

I mean maybe you also might have been lucky enough to just keep entirely to yourself and your isolated group of friends without being bothered by other people and if so like. Congratulations, you managed to get through Dragon Age without the sludge. That’s beautiful. Many were not so lucky.

I am sitting outside again and therefore just shit talking on my phone instead of any of the things I am declaring myself to be doing. I’m like. Mega sore and feel like shit so like… I guess I’m just like… grouchy.

Plus one of my OCs did have a fraction of June’s soul in him so like. I always knew that a new game would come out and be like “no bitch you can’t have soul fragment of the Evanuris without knowing that canon will take this from you ultimately” it just does feel weird to have lived in the nebulous world of “nothing exists so nothing is incorrect” to suddenly be like… “oh, right. There is going to be a canon and there will be answers as to how Solas’ character arc is resolved and who the Evanuris are.”

And like. It’s wild but I’m kind of anxious about that because like… I’ve spent so much time just… speculating and daydreaming and living in a world of *not* having a new Dragon Age game, that now it’s like… “fuck I need to let go of the Dragon Age I built in my mind and try not to let that inform my opinion of the game.”

Because like… Self Indulgent Daydream Dragon Age and Veil Guard are never gonna be the same universe. And like. SID is fully just tailored heroic and romantic scenes about OCs that make me feel really cool in my head. It’s shallow and pointless but emotionally satisfying and hardwired into my attachment to Dragon Age. But Veil Guard is like… gonna be coming in at a severe disadvantage if I compare it to like. A story I made up in my head specifically to cater to me and my wants in the moment I was crafting the story for myself. Which is like. So deeply unfair to like. Everyone involved with the series.

Also I still blame EA and not BioWare for like 90% of the business issues. Like. It feels really clear that the issues are happening higher up the ladder and someone’s getting scapegoated. Part of the evidence being the attempt to avoid paying appropriate Canadian severance packages. While Canadian companies can be plenty scummy, makes a little more sense if an American overhead felt that they could just keep cutting costs with their Canadian company with Canadian grants, and then while laying off Canadian workers they didn’t want to also pay Canadian severance packages because like. The whole point of having a satellite company in Canada is to cut costs. It’s really annoying to pay more to people that don’t even work for us anymore, like fuck. We couldn’t even have a successful Montreal branch like what are we even doing you guys. They have so many tax breaks you guys.

I am kind of stoned now maybe and kind of grumpy. And just throwing like. Rocks at hornets nests probably lmao.

Or just yapping. I’ve been sitting here talking so long I don’t think anyone’s gonna read it. Lost messages in recipe blogs etc etc