#I have been trying to upload this to tumblr for DAYS

[missroserose]

confess your sins to me while you— 🙏🥵

A spicy little something my friend Velvet Rose and I put together to keep warm during a recent cold snap. You're welcome 😘

[emmavakarian-theirin]

i'm genuinely sick of tumblr like between the ads that are scams or using porn or both and often targeting lonely users, the pornbots themselves, the interface that's just getting worse in every way and the block/report button being so narrowly close to the follow button, the shoddy attempt to blend in with other social media apps when we praised tumblr for not being like that, getting 'reccomended for you' posts that's just a randomly generated blog with 1 post with a pregnancy kink photo or is nsfw fan art of something you're not involved in at all or is just someone you've blocked, the search system they still haven't fixed after years-

and tumblr is just begging for money all over the place but all they they seem to do is just go 'hey look some frogs'

[ms-demeanor]

Do you have thoughts about the changes to Firefox's Terms of Use and Privacy Notice? A lot of people seem to be freaking out ("This is like when google removed 'Don't be evil!'"), but it seems to me like just another case of people getting confused by legalese.

Yeah you got it in one.

I've been trying not to get too fighty about it so thank you for giving me the excuse to talk about it neutrally and not while arguing with someone.

Firefox sits in such an awful place when it comes to how people who understand technology at varying levels interact with it.

On one very extreme end you've got people who are pissed that Firefox won't let you install known malicious extensions because that's too controlling of the user experience; these are also the people who tend to say that firefox might as well be spyware because they are paid by google to have google as the default search engine for the browser.

In the middle you've got a bunch of people who know a little bit about technology - enough to know that they should be suspicious of it - but who are only passingly familiar with stuff like "internet protocols" and "security certificates" and "legal liability" who see every change that isn't explicitly about data anonymization as a threat that needs to be killed with fire. These are the people who tend not to know that you can change the data collection settings in Firefox.

And on the other extreme you've got people who are pretty sure that firefox is a witch and that you're going to get a virus if you download a browser that isn't chrome so they won't touch Firefox with a ten foot pole.

And it's just kind of exhausting. It reminds me of when you've got people who get more mad at queer creators for inelegantly supporting a cause than they are at blatant homophobes. Like, yeah, you focus on the people whose minds you can change, and Firefox is certainly more responsive to user feedback than Chrome, but also getting you to legally agree that you won't sue Firefox for temporarily storing a photo you're uploading isn't a sign that Firefox sold out and is collecting all your data to feed to whichever LLM is currently supposed to be pouring the most bottles of water into landfills before pissing in the plastic bottle and putting the plastic bottle full of urine in the landfill.

The post I keep seeing (and it's not one post, i've seen this in youtube comment sections and on discord and on tumblr) is:

Well-meaning person who has gotten the wrong end of the stick: This is it, go switch to sanguinetapir now, firefox has gone to the dark side and is selling your data. [Link to *an internet comment section* and/or redditor reactions as evidence of wrongdoing].

Response: I think you may be misreading the statements here, there's been an update about this and everything.

Well-meaning (and deeply annoying) person who has gotten the wrong end of the stick: If you'd read the link you'd see that actually no I didn't misinterpret this, as evidenced by the dozens of commenters on this other site who are misinterpreting the ToU the same way that I am, but more snarkily.

Bud.

Anyway the consensus from the actual security nerds is "jesus fucking christ we carry GPS locators in our pockets all goddamned day and there are cameras everywhere and there is a long-lasting global push to erode the right to encrypt your data and facebook is creating tracking accounts for people who don't even have a facebook and they are giving data about abortion travel to the goddamned police state" and they could not be reached for comment about whether Firefox is bad now, actually, because they collect anonymized data about the people who use pocket.

My response is that there is a simple fix for all of this and it is to walk into the sea.

(I am not worried about the updated firefox ToU, I personally have a fair amount of data collection enabled on my browser because I do actually want crash reports to go to firefox when my browser crashes; however i'm not actually all that worried about firefox collecting, like, ad data on me because I haven't seen an ad in ten years and if one popped up on my browser i'd smash my screen with a stand mixer - I don't care about location data either because turning on location on your devices is for suckers but also *the way the internet works means unless you're using a traffic anonymizer at all times your browser/isp/websites you connect to/vpn/what fucking ever know where you are because of the IP address that they *have* to be able to see to deliver the internet to you and that is, generally speaking, logged as a matter of course by the systems that interact with it*)

Anyway if you're worried about firefox collecting your data you should ABSOLUTELY NOT BE ON DISCORD OR YOUTUBE and if you are on either of those things you should 100% be using them in a browser instead of an app and i don't particularly care if that browser is firefox or tonsilferret but it should be one with an extension that allows you to choose what data gets shared with the sites it interacts with.

[satoruan]

ONE LAST TIME — GETO SUGURU & GOJO SATORU

✧ ˒ — you’ve been invited to your old fuck buddy's wedding and the best man feels that the three of you have unfinished business.  

( TW ) Fem!reader. explicit content. porn with some feelings (not rlly but also rlly). reader is a slut. cheating. mentions of reader sleeping with other people. MFM. spit roasting. blow job. P -> V. unprotected sex. cream pie. face riding. fingering. squirting.  

word count - > 2.2k  

author note. the last time I’ll re upload this fic 😔 tumblr hates it for some reason!!

Satoru had been sending you winks and sly smirks throughout the night. He finally has the balls to text during the middle of the feast.  

Satoru: Enjoying the wedding?

you: Yep! Best wedding I’ve been to.

Satoru: So, you aren’t the slightest bit jealous?

you: Jealous? And why would I be? The only one jealous here is you because ‘Sugu is getting married before you’.

Satoru: Pchss I don’t want to be held down and forced to fuck one person for the rest of my life, wouldn’t you agree y/n?

you: Shut up, that was so long ago, you’re the only one who remembers or cares about that.

Satoru: I doubt that.

you: Doubt all you want Toru. Suguru and I are over It so let go. It’s been years.

Satoru: So, if I told you ‘Sugu invited you because he wanted one last night with you?

you: Shut up Toru, he’s married.

You cross your legs and look up, automatically spotting Satoru sitting at one of the tables up front, absorbed in his phone. You quickly look away and scan the room, where you find Geto. Your face heats up as you notice him staring at you intently, clearly ignoring his wife, who is trying to get his attention. Feeling flustered, you hurriedly lower your gaze back to your phone.

Satoru: I’m not lying! He even told me at his bachelor party that he misses the old days...

The old days when you spent your college years filled with their cum. You had a cock stuffed inside of you almost every day. The boys weren’t always available, so you had to get creative.   

Satoru: Meet me in the bathroom?’

you: Nope, I told you I’ve changed.

Satoru: Stop lying y/n.

you: I’m not!

Satoru: Then what were you doing with Nanami and his friends?  

You choke on your spit, how did he—you were going to kill Nanami the next time you saw him. You didn’t think anyone else had seen you leave the office that night. Fuck. Fuck. You were absolutely going to kill him. You glance back up and make eye contact with Satoru, who tilts his head and licks his lips. His white hair falls into his face. He looks so utterly fuckable.   

Satoru: You want me to beg? Tell you how much I missed your tight pussy and pouty lips?

‘Keep talking…’ You text. Fuck it. You missed Satoru too, it’s been years, and it wasn’t as if you parted on bad terms—you wouldn’t mind fucking him one more time. One last time, as a goodbye.  

Satoru: Miss your cute little moans and your tight ass and how your pretty little hands looked wrapped around my cock. I miss the cuddles after it. I miss everything, pretty girl.

you: One more time Satoru. This is the last time! 

Satoru: meet me at the family bathroom in 5 ;) 

—  

“Fuckin’ missed you.” Satoru groans into your mouth, throwing you onto the counter. You wrap your legs around his wide hips as he grabs your hair. “Toru, don’t fucking mess up my hair, what do you think they’ll say when I come out with a bird’s nest instead of my fancy wedding hair.”  

“Sorry, pretty girl,” he murmurs against your lips, moving his hands to your waist. You pull him closer to you. The familiarity of his hands and mouth on you makes you melt.

Satoru breaks away and sinks to his knees. He pushes your sheer lilac dress up above your ass and rolls his eyes back into his head.  

“Missed this pussy.” He inhales. Thumbing your clit above your white lace panties. You grab onto his hair and moan.   

“Toru—”  

“Shh—let me show you how much I’ve missed this pussy sweet girl,” He leans in to lick your damp panties. “Show me.”  

Desperate for an orgasm you obey, sliding the flimsy lace to the side and parting your slick pussy with two fingers. Satoru leans in immediately to lick you entirely.   

“Satoru!” You cry, the grip his hair tightening as he eats you like a starved man. You fall back onto the mirror and hump his face as he sucks your clit.  

“Gonna cum Toru! Don’t stop, please, please, don’t stop!” You slur, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he stuffs three thick fingers into your achy cunt. He curls them to hit your g-spot, the spot that he discovered existed long ago.   

“M’cumming!” You moan removing your hand from your pussy to grip the edges of the counter. Your pussy convulses around Satoru's fingers.  

“Not gonna stop ‘till you squirt for me,” He mumbles against your clit. “You can do it—good girl.” He goes back to sucking your clit. It doesn’t take long until you're squirting all over his face. Eyes squeezed shut and ears ringing, you don’t notice that someone walks into the large restroom because the man between your legs never locked the door.  

“Was I not invited to the party?” Suguru shoots the two of you.   

You pull yourself up, your legs swinging around Satoru's head.

“Sugu!” You squeak.  

Satoru tries to say something, but he’s trapped between your thighs.

“No, Sugu, we were just getting started. Isn’t that right, pretty?” He coughs, standing up with a soaked shirt and a glistening face. He grins at his Suguru.

He pulls his gaze away from his best friends and looks at you. You're staring at him with wide eyes, your legs tightly closed as if he’s never seen what’s between them before. He steps closer to you. “Is that right, y/n?” You suck in a breath and nod.

“Y-yes.”   

“Then why are you hiding that slutty pussy from me.”   

“You’re a taken man now ‘Sugu–”   

“And that's gonna stop you?”  

“Why don’t you go fuck your wife?” You snap, crossing your arms over your chest and returning your attention to Satoru. “Are we gonna finish this or what?”   

“Don’t look away from me, y/n,” Suguru says, crossing the space between you and grasping your chin. “She’s nothing like you—too traditional and stuck up. She doesn’t hold a candle to you.”  

“Yeah?” You blink up at him through wet lashes, your heart fluttering. You uncross your legs and slowly lift them to Suguru's thick hips.

“Nothing—no one compares,” he says as he draws your face closer to his.

“Do you promise?” you whisper shyly, your lips brushing against his.

“Promise,” he teases before catching your swollen lips. Your back arches, legs clinging to his suit-clad waist. His lips taste like watermelon-scented Chapstick—it must be his wife's. You bite his bottom lip and giggle at the thought.

“How long you got before your wifey comes lookin’ for you?” Satoru asks.  

“Not long, about ten minutes at most.” Suguru rolls his eyes, catching your lips again.   

“You gonna take me in the mouth and let ‘Sugu fuck your cunt, angel? Think you can get us off in ten minutes?”   

“Sith time to spare.” You smirk up at Satoru who smiles and starts to unbuckle his pants. His heavy cock jumps out, tip leaking precum.  

“Come here then, sweetheart.” Suguru pulls you off the counter and flips you towards Satoru. He pushes you down until you are folded at the waist. You grab onto Satoru’s thick thighs, his cock jumping on the side on your face. You look up at him and smile before turning slightly to peck his shaft.  

“Stop teasing—be a good girl and put it in your mouth before I mess up your ‘fancy weddin’ hair.’” He teases. You glare up at him—about tell him off, but as soon as you open your mouth Suguru shoves his thick cock into your wet pussy. You scream.  

“Shut her up ‘Toru!” Suguru spits out between groans. You clench so tight around him he tries not to cum prematurely.   

You move to take Satoru’s cock before he has a chance to fuck up your hair any more than he already has. His cock hits the back of your throat, and you thank the gods above you don’t have a gag reflex. You start to bob your head down his stiff cock, careful not to nick him with your teeth.  

Suguru starts to thrust in and out, hands gripping your hips so tight you know your hips will be bruised for the next week.  

“So fuckin’ tight,” Suguru grunts throwing his head back. “Tightest cunt I‘ve ever fucked.”  

You moan around Satoru’s cock.   “Missed this warm mouth.” Satoru moans, thrusting his hips into your face. Suguru follows his lead.

“You miss havin’ two cocks in you, oh wait, you still get fucked like this weekly by—fuck—by Nanami’s entire office floor.” Mouth full of cock, you don’t even attempt to defend yourself, it’s true anyways.  

“We’re still you're favorites or did you forget about us after college, hm? So many cocks you forgot about the first two.” Suguru slams you down the entire length of his cock, so hard Satoru’s cock falls out your mouth. Satoru grips your jaw, ignoring the spit and precum that falls onto his hands.  

“Is that true pretty, you forgot about the men who taught you how to take cock?”  

“N-no,” you moan out, Suguru's cock filling you up so good you hardly remember how to breath.   

“Never f-forget you guys, never ever.” You promise.  

“Then prove it, suck my cock just how I taught you.”

You shudder in pleasure before shamelessly grabbing ‘Toru’s cock and shoving it back in your mouth, determined to get him off. You bounce your head up and down his shaft, licking and sucking the tip, just like he taught you.   

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum.” ‘Toru grits out, forgoing the rule about touching your hair. He holds your head to his pelvis thrusting into your mouth so hard you start to get lightheaded, pair that with Suguru's thick cock pushing against your pelvis, and you’re surprised you haven't passed out.  

“M’cummin, f-fuck m’ gonna cum” Satoru groans shooting thick ropes into your throat. You swallow down every sip, eyes rolling to the back of your head when Suguru’s thrusts turn sloppy.

“C-Cum in my pussy ‘Sugu!” You cry against Satoru’s softening cock.  

“What was that Sweetheart?” Suguru pulls you put by the scruff of your neck. “What did you say?”  

“S-said cum in me, please!” You cry, your hands reaching for the hand around your neck.  

“M’gonna cum deep inside in you Sweetheart, gonna cum so deep you’ll e scooping it out for days,” Your pussy clenches at the thought. “You wan’ that, hm? You want my cum?”   

“Please, please, please!” You beg.  

“Take it then—” He slams into your ass, cumming deep inside your pussy causing you to orgasm at the feeling of being filled to the brim.  

“Fuck that felt amazing.” Suguru mumbles into your now fucked up hair. At that thought you open your eyes and glare at Satoru.  

“What?” He questions, stuffing himself back into his pants.  

“You messed up my hair.” You grumble. Suguru laughs behind you, gently slipping his now soft cock out of you. You clench your cum-filled pussy while Suguru situates your thong back in place, he pats your pussy. You’re suddenly hit with a pang of nostalgia and the old routine. Memories of the three of you coming to the forefront of your mind. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss this. Somedays all you think about is how you wish you could just go back to the days when you fucked the boys like a bunny in heat. The days when you laid on Suguru’s chest after long days and thought about what your life would be like if you settled down with him. You’d give anything to go back.  

“Suguru, you in here?”  

“Shit!”  

—  

“Is she okay?” Suguru’s wife frowns, looking at you slumped over the toilet.  

“She's just drunk, she always acts like this around alcohol and can't help herself when it comes to taking as many shots as she can get her hands on.” Satoru smirks, and you roll your eyes beneath your arm

“Why’s your shirt wet?”   

“She let loose and threw up all over me, had to get creative.”   

“C'mon babe, let's get back to the party, Satoru will help clean her up.” Suguru puts his hand on his wife’s back gently guiding her out of the restroom.  

“Okay, be quick Satoru, we're about to do another round of speeches, the crowd loves you.” 

[staff]

We Asked an Expert...in Herpetology!

People on Tumblr come from all walks of life and all areas of expertise to grace our dashboards with paragraphs and photographs of the things they want to share with the world. Whether it's an artist uploading their speed art, a fanfic writer posting their WIPs, a language expert expounding on the origin of a specific word, or a historian ready to lay down the secrets of Ea-nasir, the hallways of Tumblr are filled with specialists sharing their knowledge with the world. We Asked an Expert is a deep dive into those expert brains on tumblr dot com. Today, we’re talking to Dr. Mark D. Scherz (@markscherz), an expert in Herpetology. Read on for some ribbeting frog facts, including what kind of frog the viral frog bread may be based on.

Reptiles v Amphibians. You have to choose one.

In a battle for my heart, I think amphibians beat out the reptiles. There is just something incredibly good about beholding a nice plump frog.

In a battle to the death, I have to give it to the reptiles—the number of reptiles that eat amphibians far, far outstrips the number of amphibians that eat reptiles.

In terms of ecological importance, I would give it to the amphibians again, though. Okay, reptiles may keep some insects and rodents in check, but many amphibians live a dual life, starting as herbivores and graduating to carnivory after metamorphosis, and as adults they are critical for keeping mosquitos and other pest insects in check.

What is the most recent exciting fact you discovered about herps?

This doesn’t really answer your question, but did you know that tadpole arms usually develop inside the body and later burst through the body wall fully formed? I learned about this as a Master’s student many years ago, but it still blows my mind. What’s curious is that this apparently does not happen in some of the species of frogs that don’t have tadpoles—oh yeah, like a third of all frogs or something don’t have free-living tadpoles; crazy, right? They just develop forelimbs on the outside of the body like all other four-legged beasties. But this has only really been examined in a couple species, so there is just so much we don’t know about development, especially in direct-developing frogs. Like, how the hell does it just… swap from chest-burster to ‘normal’ limb development? Is that the recovery of the ancestral programming, or is it newly generated? When in frog evolution did the chest-burster mode even evolve?

How can people contribute to conservation efforts for their local herps?

You can get involved with your local herpetological societies if they exist—and they probably do, as herpetologists are everywhere. You can upload observations of animals to iNaturalist, where you can get them identified while also contributing to datasets on species distribution and annual activity used by research scientists.

You can see if there are local conservation organizations that are doing any work locally, and if you find they are not, then you can get involved to try to get them started. For example, if you notice areas of particularly frequent roadkill, talking to your local council or national or local conservation organizations can get things like rescue programs or road protectors set up. You should also make sure you travel carefully and responsibly. Carefully wash and disinfect your hiking boots, especially between locations, as you do not want to be carrying chytrid or other nasty infectious diseases across the world, where they can cause population collapses and extinctions.

Here are some recent headlines. Quick question, what the frog is going on in the frog world? 

Click through for Mark’s response to these absolutely wild headlines, more about his day-to-day job, his opinion on frog bread, and his favorite Tumblr.

✨D I S C O V E R Y✨

There are more people on Earth than ever before, with the most incredible technology that advances daily at their disposal, and they disperse that knowledge instantly. That means more eyes and ears observing, recording, and sharing than ever before. And so we are making big new discoveries all the time, and are able to document them and reach huge audiences with them.

That being said, these headlines also showcase how bad some media reporting has gotten. The frogs that scream actually scream mostly in the audible range—they just have harmonics that stretch up into ultrasound. So, we can hear them scream, we just can’t hear all of it. Because the harmonics are just multiples of the fundamental, they would anyway only add to the overall ‘quality’ of the sound, not anything different. The mushroom was sprouting from the flank of the frog, and scientists are not really worried about it because this is not how parasitic fungi work, and this is probably a very weird fluke. And finally, the Cuban tree frogs (Osteocephalus septentrionalis) are not really cannibals per se; they are just generalist predators who will just as happily eat a frog as they will a grasshopper, but the frogs they are eating are usually other species. People seem to forget that cannibalism is, by definition, within a species. The fact that they are generalist predators makes them a much bigger problem than if they were cannibals—a cannibal would actually kind of keep itself in check, which would be useful. The press just uses this to get people’s hackles up because Westerners are often equal parts disgusted and fascinated by cannibalism. 

What does an average day look like for the curator of herpetology at the Natural History Museum of Denmark?

No two days are the same, and that is one of the joys of the job. I could spend a whole day in meetings, where we might be discussing anything from which budget is going to pay for 1000 magnets to how we could attract big research funding, to what a label is going to say in our new museum exhibits (we are in the process of building a new museum). Equally, I might spend a day accompanying or facilitating a visitor dissecting a crocodile or photographing a hundred snakes. Or it might be divided into one-hour segments that cover a full spectrum: working with one of my students on a project, training volunteers in the collection, hunting down a lizard that someone wants to borrow from the museum, working on one of a dozen research projects of my own, writing funding proposals, or teaching classes. It is a job with a great deal of freedom, which really suits my work style and brain.

Oh yeah, and then every now and then, I get to go to the field and spend anywhere from a couple of weeks to several months tracking down reptiles and amphibians, usually in the rainforest. These are also work days—with work conditions you couldn’t sell to anyone: 18-hour work days, no weekends, no real rest, uncomfortable living conditions, sometimes dangerous locations or working conditions, field kitchen with limited options, and more leeches and other biting beasties than most health and welfare officers would tolerate—but the reward is the opportunity to make new discoveries and observations, collect critical data, and the privilege of getting to be in some of the most beautiful and biodiverse places left on the planet. So, I am humbled by the fact that I have the privilege and opportunity to undertake such expeditions, and grateful for the incredible teams I collaborate with that make all of this work—from the museum to the field—possible.

The Tibetan Blackbird is also known as Turdus maximus. What’s your favorite chortle-inducing scientific name in the world of herpetology?

Among reptiles and amphibians, there aren’t actually that many to choose from, but I must give great credit to my friend Oliver Hawlitschek and his team, who named the snake Lycodryas cococola, which actually means ‘Coco dweller’ in Latin, referring to its occurrence in coconut trees. When we were naming Mini mum, Mini scule, and Mini ature, I was inspired by the incredible list that Mark Isaac has compiled of punning species names, particularly by the extinct parrot Vini vidivici, and the beetles Gelae baen, Gelae belae, Gelae donut, Gelae fish, and Gelae rol. I have known about these since high school, and it has always been my ambition to get a species on this list.

If you were a frog, what frog would you be and why?

I think I would be a Phasmahyla because they’re weird and awkward, long-limbed, and look like they’re wearing glasses. As a 186 cm (6’3) glasses-wearing human with no coordination, they quite resonate with me.

Please rate this frog bread from 1/10. Can you tell us what frog it represents?

With the arms inside the body cavity like that, it can basically only be a brevicipitid rain frog. The roundness of the body fits, too. I’d say probably Breviceps macrops (or should I say Breadviceps?) based on those big eyes. 7/10, a little on the bumpy side and missing a finger and at least one toe.

Please follow Dr. Mark Scherz at @markscherz for even more incredibly educational, entertaining, and meaningful resources in the world of reptiles and amphibians.

[luvergirl-866]

I think you'd cook a one short one about the first time Paige saw Azzi's belly button piercing

don’t need to breathe (when you look at me)

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 5.3k

c/w - language, needles, FLUFF, smut

a/n - this is my fourth time trying to upload. lately, whenever i try to upload anything more than 100 or so words, tumblr gets slow and then crashes and i lose the whole thing!! it sucksss 😩. pls send help. anyway, hope you like!

Azzi absolutely hates needles.

It’s something she’s always known about herself—when she was getting her four-year-old vaccines, she fought the nurses holding her down and ripped the needle out of her leg while screaming like a banshee.

Safe to say, whenever she finds herself around needles, it’s usually against her will.

Which is exactly why she wasn’t brave enough to get her ears pierced until she was fifteen. It’s also exactly why, when her mother brings up a belly button piercing the summer before college, her reply is an immediate and adamant no.

“Why not?” Katie asks, as if she doesn’t know her daughter at all. “I had one when I was around your age.”

Azzi shudders at the mere thought of a piece of metal forced through the inches of skin between her navel and belly button. “No way, Mom.”

“I gotta say, I agree,” her dad pipes up, and usually Azzi doesn’t favor his opinions on these things (crop tops were a no until she was thirteen) but today, she smiles gratefully at him. “She doesn’t need nothing like that ‘till she’s older.”

“Tim,” Katie says exasperatedly, “she’s an adult.”

“Yeah, but not really,” Tim says, throwing his arm around Azzi’s shoulders. Azzi burrows into her dad’s chest in an attempt to hide from her scary mom with the scary needles.

“It was just a suggestion,” Katie sighs, reaching into the oven to pull out the pot pie. “You don’t have to if you don’t want it. They’re just cute, is all.” Placing the hot pan on the stove, Katie turns back to the two of them, smiling slyly at Azzi. “I’m sure your girlfriend would think so, too.”

Admittedly, that thought itself has the cogs in Azzi’s mind turning.

————————————

Later that same day, at around 10:00, Azzi’s phone buzzes with a text from none other than Paige Bueckers, also known as Azzi’s aforementioned girlfriend.

I miss you

The two of them had woken up on FaceTime that morning, and had been texting throughout the day, but it’s been a few hours since their last conversation so of course it’s the first thing Paige would say to her. She’s never liked conventional conversation starters, anyway.

Before Azzi can respond, three other texts come in tandem:

send me pics

WHOAAA pause, not those kinda pics. I just miss looking at u or whatever

but if you wanna send those kinda pics i wont complain 😛

Azzi rolls her eyes, albeit affectionately, at her phone screen. A pang of longing shoots through her stomach, reminding her just how much she misses her stupid, dorky girlfriend.

Typing quickly so that Paige won’t beat her to it, Azzi types: I miss you too p

And then, you’re like a teenage boy btw

The response comes fast: rudeee I just wanna see my girlfriend’s beautiful face

are you ovulating or something?

whoa howd you know

Once again, Azzi rolls her eyes. And then her thumb hovers over the camera app before she opts for Facetime instead, pressing the button and smiling when Paige answers halfway through the first ring.

“—out of my room, seriously!” Azzi catches the second half of Paige’s sentence, and immediately knows who she’s talking to—that tone is reserved for one particular little boy.

“Hi,” Azzi says, and Paige’s attention snaps down to her phone, eyes crinkling with a smile.

“Hi, baby,” she says softly, and then there’s giggling in the background and Paige looks away again. “Drew, for real, leave me alone!”

“I wanna say hi to Azzi, too,” Drew’s playful whine comes distantly over the speaker.

“Aw, let him say hi,” Azzi argues.

Paige glares down at her, but then Azzi gives her a stern look—she’s a firm believer that Paige needs to be nicer to perfect little Drew, even though she herself isn’t a saint to her own brothers by any stretch. Sighing dramatically, Paige passes the phone over to Drew, whose smiling little face appears on the screen. “Hi, Azzi!”

“Hey, Drewski,” Azzi replies, ignoring Paige’s mumbling in the background. “How’ve you been?”

“Good. Today I beat Paigey in 1v1 and then she beat me up and knocked my tooth out.”

“Drew!” in a second, the phone is ripped away from him and back to Paige, who’s looking urgently at the phone. “He’s lying, he lost that tooth naturally.” She looks up, presumably at her hysterically laughing little brother. “And you didn’t beat me, I let you win.”

“Hey! I’m gonna tell Dad you said that!”

“He can’t do anything to me, I’m an adult.”

“I’m gonna tell him you said that, too!”

“Well I’ma tell him you’re bothering me if you don’t get out my room!”

Finally, there’s the aggressive sound of the door slamming shut, and Paige smiles triumphantly down at the phone.

Azzi leans back against her pillows, shaking her head. “Fighting with him as if he isn’t seven years old.”

“Hey, I gotta do what I gotta do,” Paige replies, the background changing as she moves across her room to set the phone on her desk. “I’on like him around when we call.”

“Why not?” Azzi asks, even though she already knows the answer to that.

“‘Cus sometimes I wanna say things to you that nobody else should hear.” Paige grins devilishly, but there’s something a little heavier in her eyes, and that longing curls a little more dangerously in Azzi’s stomach now.

It’s been a long time, but they’ve yet to resort to phone sex. With Stewie curled at her feet and her brothers in the next rooms, Azzi decides she’d like to keep it that way.

“Again, teenage boy,” she teases, and it successfully changes the atmosphere.

Paige gasps and plops down in her desk chair in order to get a closer look at her. “That’s actually offensive.”

“Uh-huh,” Azzi says, watching as Paige fiddles with something on her desk before picking up her gaming headset, and her mouth drops. “You’re not about to game while we’re on call right now.”

Freezing, Paige stares at her, slowly setting the headset down, “What? No, ‘course not.”

Azzi would call Paige a teenage boy again but she thinks it might actually give her a complex, so she decides against it. “Hey,” she says, already feeling her palms get sweaty at the thought of what her mom said earlier, “what do you think about belly piercings?”

“For you or for me?”

“In general.”

Paige shrugs, leaning back in her chair. “I dunno. They’re cute. Why?”

Azzi bites her lip. “My mom thinks I should get one.”

“Yeah?” Paige wiggles her eyebrows at her. “That’d be hot.”

“You think?”

Paige nods decidedly. “Yeah, I do. But you’d never get one, right? I mean, you cried last time you had to get your blood drawn.”

Azzi waves her off. “That was a long time ago.”

“That was four months ago, baby.”

“Okay, whatever.” Azzi flushes at the memory, how she and Paige had gone together for their physicals and how Azzi had been shaking with nerves while Paige sat cool as a fucking cucumber. Paige had teased her about it when the tears started, but she still wiped them away tenderly and later, Azzi heard her asking the nurse if they really had to do the needles. “Maybe I will do it.”

Paige looks at her with this doubt in her eyes that she hates. “You will, huh?”

“Maybe,” Azzi reiterates a little nervously, because she can’t promise anything, not when it comes to a long-ass needle going through her flesh. Okay, so, maybe not.

But Paige is almost smirking now and so she says, “I’m seriously thinking about it.”

Paige nods at her, clearly bemused. “Sure, sure. You, the girl who has a scar on her thigh from ripping a needle out of it—“

“I was four!”

“Still,” Paige laughs. “No way you’re getting that piercing. Maybe stick with a lil nose stud, that’d be cute.”

Deep down, Azzi feels a certain tug of competitiveness—all too familiar when it comes to her girlfriend. And, in this case, dangerous, because when Paige challenges her to something, she refuses to lose.

But, this isn’t a challenge. This is just Paige being Paige. It’s not a challenge until someone says—

“I’ll bet you twenty bucks you get a belly piercing,” Paige jokes. And dread curls in Azzi’s abdomen. Because there it is.

Scary needles and crushing anxiety aside—suddenly, Azzi needs that twenty dollars. And she will absolutely not be losing it.

————————————

Azzi is in her room, trying and failing for the third time this week to pack for college, when her mother appears in the doorway. “Hey, Az.”

“Yeah?” Azzi asks without looking up.

“Can you come help me unload the groceries? I can’t carry them all by myself.”

“Uh,” Azzi glances at her suitcase—which needs to have her whole life packed away inside it within the week—and decides it can wait, “yeah, sure.”

She doesn’t notice the twinkle in Katie’s eye as she gets up and heads out into the hallway. As she walks down it, she registers the muttered sounds of her family and realizes she hasn’t heard the dogs in a few moments. Turning back to her mom, she says, “Where are the dogs?”

“Oh, we put ‘em in our room,” Katie says, taking Azzi by the shoulders and ushering her down the hallway.

Azzi furrows her brow. “Why?”

Katie pushes her out into the living room and the first thing she notices is her brothers and dad all gathered there, watching her with—excitement? Anticipation? And she’s about to ask why when Katie takes her by the shoulders once again and turns her so she’s facing the front door, and there’s Paige, knelt down, focused on untying her shoes.

Azzi doesn’t move, because is this real? This has gotta be an stress-induced hallucination, right?

But, no. It’s real. She knows because Paige, her perfect, oblivious girlfriend, hasn’t noticed her yet, and is chattering away like she always does: “So then I was like, yo, it’s not my fault you didn’t buy an extra seat, so like, why would I give you mine? And usually I would’ve given it up but I told her, I was like, I gotta see my girl, I can’t get off this plane. Because that’s serious to me, you know? And I…”

Paige’s rambling trails off only when she finishes taking off her shoes and finally glances up, to find Azzi standing a little awestruck a couple feet away.

“Oh,” she says, smiling almost sheepishly at her as she straightens up, “hey.”

For some reason, that’s what snaps Azzi out of her Paige-induced trance and she sort of forgets about the rest of her family watching them as she crosses the few steps it takes to launch herself into Paige’s arms, nearly sobbing with relief of a weight she didn’t know was there being lifted off her shoulders as she’s wrapped up in an all-too-familiar embrace.

“You’re here,” Azzi breathes, almost unable to believe it. “Why’re you here?”

Paige squeezes her tight, leans down to bury her face in the crook between her shoulder and neck. “Couldn’t wait any longer,” is all she says, and Azzi hasn’t ever agreed with anything more.

————————————

It’s not until later—after a celebratory lunch and family board games and then a celebratory dinner and family movie night, completed with ice cream sundaes—that they get a moment alone.

As soon as they’re stepping into Azzi’s bedroom, Paige is on her in a second, holding her tight by the waist and inhaling deeply into her hair. It’s almost instinctual the way Azzi reciprocates, her body moving on its own accord to wrap her arms around Paige’s broad shoulders and hold her close. It’s not for a few more moments that Paige says something. “Missed you so much, Az.”

“I know,” Azzi nods, pulling away just enough to get a good look at her girlfriend’s face, and though they’ve spent half the day together she still marvels at the fact that she’s looking at her without the barrier of a shitty internet connection, hearing her without the interruption of cackling speakers. “‘M happy you’re here, baby.”

“Me too,” Paige replies, leaning forward so their noses are touching. “We should never do that again, yeah?”

“What? Spend the summer apart?”

“Uh-huh,” Paige replies, her eyes drifting shut as her lips brush up against Azzi’s. “Hated every second of it.”

“Me too,” Azzi breathes, closing her eyes as well at the feeling of Paige’s breath up against her lips, her hands running slowly up and down her back before moving to her stomach, pushing against her. Azzi gasps as her back hits the bedroom door, eyes opening to study her girlfriend’s face, to find her staring back. Her pale cheeks are already a little flushed, and Azzi must be wearing a similar expression because Paige chuckles softly before leaning down and finally pressing their lips together in a soft, tender kiss. Chaste enough but nothing like the few pecks they shared today—this is intimate and weighted and altogether not meant for her family to see.

“Azzi,” Paige mumbles needily against her lips and it’s almost embarrassing how quickly she’s getting wet, just from a closed-mouth kiss and roaming hands on her stomach and an utterance of her name.

But she can’t really bring herself to be embarrassed. Because this is Paige. And it’s been so much longer than either of them can bear.

“Az,” Paige repeats, pressing soft kisses against the corner of her mouth now, “I…can we?” she pulls back and Azzi’s legs nearly give out at the hot, desperate look in Paige’s eyes. “Need you,” she insists.

Azzi glances over her shoulder, at the closed door and the hallway she knows is beyond, her family separated only by square meters and walls. It’s not an ideal situation.

But neither is holding off for another day. Even another hour might destroy her, if the damp spot growing on her panties has anything to say about it.

So, Azzi nods, untangling her arms from around Paige’s neck in order to reach back and lock the door. She can’t help but smile at the excitement in Paige’s eyes when she turns back to her, and at the same time she gives her a look that’s all warning. “We gotta be quiet, though.”

“Got it,” Paige nods, already walking them backwards toward the bed.

“And no strap,” Azzi continues, then squeals as quietly as possible when Paige pushes her down onto the bed.

Paige is back on her as soon as she’s lying down, kneeling on the bed to hover over her, and the pout on her face contrasts almost comically with the heat in her eyes. “But I brought it for us.”

Azzi isn’t all that surprised—of course Paige would bring their neglected dildo to her surprise visit at Azzi’s parent’s house. But Paige becomes sort of feral when that thing comes on and Azzi is no better, often unable to hold in the noises that rip their way out her throat while Paige pounds her.

As Azzi scoots back until her head hits the pillows, wrapping her arms around Paige’s neck so she follows, she knows tonight isn’t the night for rough and filthy. The longing in her belly is heated, sure, the arousal leaking from her downright sinful—but there’s something almost innocent in the way she needs Paige tonight. She needs her as if she’s a piece of her that’s been missing too long, and it’s only natural to come back together like this.

“Paige,” she whispers, pulling her down, “please, just—don’t need any of that. Just need you, right now.”

Something softens almost immediately in Paige’s expression at that, the arousal clouding her gaze clearing just a bit and making way for pure, unadulterated love.

“Aight, baby,” Paige mutters, kissing Azzi again, and this time Azzi opens up for her, salivating when Paige’s tongue meets hers, pushing past to enter her mouth and lick around inside like she’s looking for something. Azzi’s legs go instinctively around Paige’s waist, hands tightening around her neck, anything to bring them as close as possible.

Paige pulls back when Azzi’s breath gets shaky, string of saliva connecting their lips until Paige licks it away. “I gotchu,” she reassures, one hand finding its way from where it’s bracing her on the bed to stroke down her cheek, to her collarbone. “Just relax, baby.”

“‘S been a long time,” Azzi replies, figuring that’s the reason for the lump of anxiety in her throat, the way she’s grasping at Paige as if she’ll disappear. And, sure, it’s only been three months—what’s three months, when plenty couples go years without seeing each other?—but for Paige and Azzi, it felt like an eternity. And Azzi realizes it’s a little overwhelming coming back to something so familiar all at once.

“I know,” Paige says, leaning down to trail her lips delicately against her jawline. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Uh-huh,” Azzi replies, a little breathily now that Paige is moving to that sweet spot on her neck. And when she gets there, she sucks, not quite hard enough to leave a bruise but hard enough for her to feel it. “Paige,” she murmurs, her own hands going to the hem of her sweater, “Wanna—take this off.”

“Okay,” Paige replies, helping Azzi sit up just enough to pull the piece of clothing off and toss it somewhere across the room. It’s dimly lit, only the moonlight and the lamp on Azzi’s bedside table to illuminate the room, but it’s plenty enough for Paige to take in Azzi’s bare torso, eyes flickering from her collarbones to her chest to her face, then back to her chest again where her gaze lingers—Azzi reminds herself to make fun of her for that later—and then, finally, Azzi watches her girlfriend’s gaze travel down the bare expanse of her stomach, to her navel, where her eyes widen and her jaw drops just slightly when she sees the new piercing sitting there.

“You…” Paige mumbles, never ripping her eyes from the piercing, and Azzi giggles. “You actually got it.”

“Had to,” Azzi says, pleased with the reaction. “You owe me twenty, by the way.”

Paige looks up at her then, and her free hand travels down Azzi’s stomach to cautiously touch the stud. “Did it hurt?”

Azzi nods. “Yeah. But it was worth it.”

Paige nods along with her. “Definitely worth it.”

Her lips reattach to her neck, but they don’t linger there, moving quickly down to the dip between her collarbones, her fingers still delicately playing with her piercing. “Got it a couple days after our FaceTime. You remember?”

Paige nips at her collarbone. “Yeah. Thought there was no way in hell you’d get it.”

“‘S why I did,” Azzi replies, tone going a little unsteady again as Paige’s lips travel lower, reminding her of the pulsing that’s beginning to ache between her legs. “Knew you’d like it.”

“I was right, though,” Paige replies, a little muffled as she kisses the pillowy flesh of Azzi’s chest, “it is hot.”

“Tha-anks,” Azzi moans out, clutching Paige’s hair as she finally attaches to a nipple. Her head falls back, relishing in the way Paige flicks her tongue, feeling so much better than Azzi’s own fingers ever could. She’s resorted many times to playing with herself while thinking of Paige, but it’s never the same. And maybe the knowledge of how good Paige is had begun slipping away from her, but it comes back now with sharp clarity as Paige suckles and then smooths down with the flat of her tongue.

Paige moves over to Azzi’s other breast, making sure to litter a few marks across her chest on the way, and she busies herself with removing Paige’s ponytail, fingers fumbling a few times around the hair tie before she gets it off. Paige chuckles against her when her hair falls loose around her shoulders, and Azzi smiles, too, watching through hooded eyes as Paige lifts her head to place a chaste kiss on her lips. “Can we take these off?” she asks, tugging at the waistband of Azzi’s sleep shorts.

Azzi nods, lifting her hips while Paige pulls them down, leaving her underwear on. It’s not exactly a cute pair—she didn’t prepare for sex when she woke up completely Paige-less this morning—but she can’t bring herself to be self-conscious about it.

“Mm,” Paige hums, dragging her lips down Azzi’s chest, to her navel, where the tip of her tongue pokes out, licking around her piercing. Turns out she likes it even more than Azzi thought she would. Azzi watches, lazily, while Paige presses open-mouthed kisses against her. She wants to urge her on but at the same time knows she needs to be patient, needs to let Paige take her time with her.

“Fuck,” Paige mumbles against her skin, then licks down to the hem of her underwear, kissing along it to nip at her hipbone. “Missed this so fucking much.”

“Baby,” Azzi breathes, watching Paige open her legs enough to settle between them, breathing hot and purposeful over Azzi’s clothed core.

“I know,” Paige mumbles, eyes locked on the wet patch on Azzi’s panties. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth as she brings a thumb to rub gently over Azzi’s clit, and it makes her hips push up for more. “I’ma eat you now, okay?” Paige says, looking up at her.

Azzi nods. “Please, P.”

Paige licks her lips, then presses them to the plush skin of her inner thigh, making quick work of pulling the panties off. As soon as she does, she spreads her open even wider, eyes hooded and mouth slightly open when she takes two fingers and spreads her folds. “Look at that,” she breathes, licking her thumb before using it to rub her clit in little circles. “She’s cryin’ for me, huh?”

“Fuck,” Azzi moans breathily when Paige nuzzles her nose up into her. Paige uses her free hand to press down on her abdomen, partly to keep her still and partly to make it feel better, and she tries to stay steady, resisting the urge to arch her hips up.

“Hold my hair, mama,” Paige says, and with shaking hands Azzi does, gathering her long hair away from her face. Glancing up at her, Paige licks a long stripe up her cunt as a reward. Azzi gasps desperately, gripping her hair a little more tightly and pulling her closer, urging her to do that thing she loves. And Paige gets it, smirking against her pussy before dipping her tongue into her hole, effectively drinking her up while her nose bumps against her clit. Head lulling back against the sheets, Azzi throws an arm over her face in a feeble attempt to keep quiet.

“Tastes so good,” Paige moans into her, mouth wide open as she sucks her folds into her mouth. “Missed this shit so bad, mama.”

“Mm-hmm,” Azzi whines, unable to respond or even really register the words with the way Paige is making such a mess of her, spit mixing with Azzi’s own juices, leaking down onto the bed.

Paige licks into her entrance again, the warm muscle exploring that spongy spot inside her and then going up to her clit and sucking it harshly into her mouth. Azzi bites down on her hand—otherwise, she’d sob.

When Paige looks up and catches her struggle, she smirks and wraps her arms around Azzi’s thighs, situating them over her shoulders and pressing a few tender kisses to Azzi’s clit. “So pretty, baby,” she mutters, and Azzi shivers when her hot breath hits her cunt. “Wanna do this forever.” She works her jaw, and Azzi barely has time to register what she’s doing before Paige spits on her, using her hand to rub it in, and then going in and licking it back up.

“P—“ Azzi chokes, scratching her nails roughly through Paige’s hair, holding her head close enough that she doesn’t move when her hips cant up. That warmth in her belly becomes tense, a familiar knot forming there, and her legs begin to shake.

“Close?” Paige asks, knowing all her tells.

Azzi nods urgently, pulling Paige’s head back down, gasping as she presses the flat of her tongue against her clit before flicking it at an impossible speed, her hips grinding up as she rides Paige’s face, head turning to the side to bury into her pillow.

“God, Paige—gonna come,” she says urgently, the feeling of Paige nodding against her only hurdling her closer, “fuck, love you so much. Love you so fucking much, gonna make me come, fu-uckkk!”

She thrashes, legs shaking impossibly hard as Paige licks her through it, her hand rubbing furiously at Azzi’s poor clit while she slurps up the arousal gushing from her, and she doesn’t stop until Azzi’s heels are kicking against her back, palm of her hand pushing at her forehead.

Even then, Paige gives her a last kiss on her clit before surging up to meet her lips, the kiss they share far too tender for what just happened.

“Missed that,” Paige whispers, smiling down at her when they separate.

“Fuck,” Azzi sighs, looking up at her girlfriend almost in disbelief. “Me, too.”

She combs her fingers gently through Paige’s hair, getting the knots, and Paige’s eyes flutter shut. Slowly, she lets her hands wander, down her shoulders, her chest, to her stomach. “Baby,” she whispers, watching Paige open her eyes slowly, “need to see you.”

Paige hesitates and for a moment Azzi thinks she might be too tired, but the next second she’s reaching behind her and pulling her t-shirt off. Azzi’s hands immediately go to those toned abs she loves so much, then up to Paige’s sports bra. “This, too.”

Obediently, Paige pulls the tight material over her head, tossing it along with the rest of their clothes. Azzi doesn’t take her time—can’t bring herself to, not now—bringing her hands up to Paige’s tits and squeezing them. Paige inches up, encouraging her, and Azzi lifts her mouth to one of her hands, separating her fingers to expose a nipple and taking it between her lips. Paige is quick to react, bracing herself on Azzi’s shoulders while she grinds down onto one of her thighs, and Azzi can feel the wetness through her sweats.

While her tongue works over the pert nipple, she lets her other hand wander back down Paige’s stomach, under her sweatpants, and when Paige grinds down encouragingly, she dips her fingers into her boxers. Using her pointer and ring fingers, she spreads her folds, then drags her middle finger up her sopping slit, groaning into her breast at the sheer amount of wetness she feels there.

“Az,” Paige breathes, bearing down on Azzi’s hand, but the angle is all wrong and she pulls of her tit with a pop.

Urging Paige off her lap, Azzi flips them over, knowing Paige would resist if she wanted to. But Paige is needy, hair a mess and lips swollen, chin still a little wet with Azzi’s arousal, baby blue’s wide as she stares reverently at her. “Lay back, baby,” she mutters, making quick work of the rest of Paige’s clothes once the girl obeys.

As soon as she’s naked, Azzi crawls over her, dipping her hand back between her legs, warm heat pooling at her fingers. “So wet, P. I make you like this?”

“Fuck, yes,” Paige replies, and it’s her turn to wrap her arms around Azzi’s shoulders, nails scratching a little when Azzi dips a finger into her hole.

“You want it?” Azzi asks, teasing, rubbing her thumb over Paige’s clit before going back down to her entrance.

“Need it,” Paige insists.

“Gonna be good for me?” Azzi murmurs, leaning down so she’s right by her ear, making Paige shiver. “Gonna be quiet, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Paige says, the submissive tone in her voice rare and so fucking sexy, “promise, baby.”

“Mm,” Azzi hums, relishing in the little noise Paige makes as she slides a finger inside her. Paige arches forward, burying her head in Azzi’s neck, and Azzi presses comforting kisses to her shoulder, shushing her gently. She pumps in and out a few times, getting her ready, before sliding another one in, and she loves the way Paige curls even further into her—not an inch of space between them. She wishes they could stay like this forever.

Starting out slow, Azzi goes in an out, spreading her fingers against the impossible tightness surrounding her fingers. She glances down between their bodies, but it’s hard to see—still, she can just make out Paige’s cunt sucking her fingers in eagerly, and she moans maybe a little too loud.

“Oh, oh,” Paige whines into her neck, clinging onto her as Azzi picks up speed, “don’t stop, so good.”

Azzi bites her lip, concentrating, and on her next thrust she hooks her fingers upward on the way out, letting them drag against that spongy spot deep inside, and Paige sobs, nodding feverishly.

Azzi pulls away, forcing Paige’s head out of her neck so they can look at each other. She uses her free hand to brush a damp strand of hair from Paige’s face. “Right there?”

“Yeah,” Paige breathes, obviously doing her best to be quiet, and Azzi thinks they’ll need to empty out the house tomorrow so they can do this again without so many restraints.

Azzi repeats the motion once, twice, and Paige’s eyes roll to the back of her head. Her thighs clench around Azzi’s hand, abs tightening—she’s getting close.

Nuzzling their noses together, Azzi brings her thumb to Paige’s clit and starts rubbing hard.

Paige cries out weakly. Azzi presses their lips together, regretfully swallowing every noise Paige makes, arm growing tired as she works her over, thrusting fast and hard now. Paige is writhing, hands keeping Azzi close as if she’s going to up and leave.

“Not going anywhere,” Azzi murmurs against her lips. “You okay?”

Paige moans. “Getting close—just…stay right here.”

“Okay, baby,” Azzi whispers. “Just relax, I got you. You’re okay.”

It works, Paige softening around the edges, jaw unclenching and legs falling open, eyes hooded and searching as they look into Azzi’s. Azzi nods at her, kissing her lips and then the tip of her nose, not once slowing the pace of her fingers. “Doing good, baby. Gonna come?”

“Yeah,” Paige breathes, nodding fervently. “So close.”

Azzi punctuates it with a particularly hard thrust, loving the way Paige whines for her. “Missed making you come,” Azzi groans, forehead dropping onto Paige’s. “Missed fucking you.”

Paige swallows thickly, supposedly swallowing down a particularly loud sound, and Azzi rubs at her clit to the point of abuse. Paige opens her mouth as if she’s about to say something but then her jaw goes slack and her eyebrows furrow and she’s coming, hard, choking on a moan, bottom lip trembling like she might cry.

Enthralled, Azzi watches, trying to commit everything to memory—the way Paige’s tits arch up, the way she throws her head back, the way she bites her swollen lips, the way tears form at the corners of her eyes but don’t fall. Azzi hadn’t realized quite how much she missed this until just now.

As Paige comes down, pushing Azzi’s wrist so she’ll pull out, Azzi settles herself gently on top of her, pressing kisses to her face and neck. Paige’s arms soothe down her back then back up, chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath.

“Good?” Azzi asks, giggling tiredly when Paige stares at her as if she hung the stars in the sky.

“Perfect,” Paige corrects, watching as Azzi lazily licks at her fingers, cleaning them off. “We can never be apart again, okay?”

“I can’t promise that.”

“I’ma—like, sneak you into my suitcase if I ever have to leave,” Paige insists, pulling Azzi down so she’s lying fully on top of her. “Gonna fuck you every day, I’on care.”

Azzi laughs, resting her cheek on Paige’s chest. “You’re an idiot.”

“Be quiet,” Paige says, pushing half-heartedly at her shoulder.

“Shit,” she says after a moment.

Azzi lifts her head to look quizzically at her. “What?”

“I really love your belly piercing.”

[mydarlingclaudia]

no shirt, no blouse

note : I've only ever written for Leon like, once in my life and no matter how many times I tried to fix it tumblr kept my blog and what I uploaded hidden, this is my third time trying this again so I'm not gonna be too surprised if the same thing happens. I'm sorry if Leon is ooc, this is just a Leon comfort fic

wc : 2k

desc : you taking care of Leon when he comes home from a mission. established relationship, fluff, comfort, Leon being kinda head over heels for you, mentions of injuries, re4r Leon (but not specifically his mission in Spain), pet names (baby), gn!reader, not proofread.

To you, Leon was always sweet.

In the quiet evenings when he'd come home from a mission, that's when his shell would break and he'd let himself rest. When he'd crawl under the covers with you and hold you close to his chest while he laid on his cold side of the bed that the two of you shared, that was when he knew he was officially home. Hearing you talk about how badly you had missed him and how happy you are to have him back as the tips of your fingers lightly run over any cuts on his face was like a dream to him.

His shirts would always smell a little bit like you whenever he came home, so would his pillow, he’d never admit to you that he loved it. By the time that you’d fall asleep, after the two of you ate and you washed his hair for him in the bath, he’d still be awake, despite the late hour. He’d sit and watch your chest rise and fall as you slept, his hands resting on your sides underneath the sweatshirt you slept in, the one you had stolen from him.

He had missed you, you knew that much. He knows that there’s always a possibility that he won’t be able to come home to you, or something that would keep him away from you for much longer than either of you hoped. But no matter how long it took for him to get back to you, or the amount of damage his body had taken while working, you’d always greet him with a smile. You push away all your questions and worries for the next day, content on just having him back in your arms, feeling his heart beat underneath your palm while he holds onto you tightly.

You would never be able to read Leon's mind, you thought it would be difficult to do even if you possessed that kind of power, but when his face softens as he looks at you while you help him wash away his aches and pains, you have a good idea of what's going through his head.

This time is no different.

You're sitting on the edge of your bathtub, combing your fingers through Leon's wet hair while he sits in the warm water. He hadn't said much since he walked through the door, just a simple, "Missed you, love you." You never pushed him to talk too much when he gets home, you just want him to tell you if he's hurt badly, which he hardly ever is.

There are bruises splattered across his body, all in different shades of purple and yellow. There were a few gashes that had been stitched up before he came home to you, thankfully no broken bones, just a few more cuts along his face and arms, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. You knew that the government would do a checkup on him after he finishes a mission, but you liked to look him over again in the odd chance that they missed anything or if he was trying to hide a wound from you.

He still hadn't eaten yet, but you wouldn't let it stay that way for long, you'd let him lay down in bed while you put some food together for the two of you. But he likes to sit in the tub for at least thirty minutes before he either decides he's hungry or the water's starting to cool down, you'd stay with him however long he wanted, though.

Leon shifted slightly in the tub, moving closer to you than he already was to rest his head against your thigh, the water from his hair seeping through your jeans while the soap clung to the fabric. He brought his arm up to rest over your knees, letting more water soak through your jeans while some of it ran down his fingers and onto the bathmat outside the tub. You smiled down at him, one of your hands leaving his hair to run down over the back of his neck and his shoulder blades.

You let your fingers trace over a bruise the size of your fist on the back of his shoulder, pressing against it gently. "How'd you get this one?" You whispered to him, watching as he rolled his shoulder slightly in response to your touch.

"I fell," He murmured against your thigh.

"You fell?" You giggled, letting your hand leave his shoulder and return to his hair while your gaze lingered on a few gashes on his back that had already been stitched up.

"It was raining and I slipped, sorry that I don't have a cool story to tell you." He huffed, nuzzling his face into the side of your thigh as he moved his arm back into the tub and instead let his hand rest on your knee, giving it a light squeeze.

"Do any of them have cool stories?"

"If you think me getting my ass kicked is cool, then yeah, I guess some of them do." You chuckled slightly in response, pulling your hands out of his hair to rinse the remaining shampoo off in the bath water.

"I'll ice your bruises for you later," You offered, bringing the cup you kept in the tub down to the water to fill it. "Tip your head back."

"Too cold," He mumbled softly, detaching himself from your leg and tipping his head back while you moved one hand to cover his eyes as you poured the water over his soapy hair.

"Yeah? You'd rather just let them heal for the next four days instead of three?"

"I can ice them whenever, it's no big deal."

"I get that, I'm just trying to take care of you." You say softly, removing your hand from his eyes and setting the cup of water back on the edge of the tub.

"I know, baby, I know." He quickly reassures you, laying his head back down on your thigh and pressing a kiss to your clothed leg. "It just doesn't need to get done tonight. Thank you, though."

"Yeah, of course." You nod, resting your hand on the back of his neck, letting your thumb trace over the skin that lays there.

"C'mon, let's go lay down." He pressed a few more kisses to the fabric of your wet jeans before he allowed you to stand, grabbing him a towel and holding it out to him as he got out of the tub. Leon dried himself off carefully, his body facing you as you leaned against the bathroom sink, watching him quietly.

Leon moves out of your way as you go to pull out the drain plug at the bottom of the tub, "What do you wanna eat?" You groan out softly as you stand back up, placing the bath plug down next to the cup on the edge of the tub. "If you want, I can make those little kraft mac'n'cheese microwave packages for us."

"Yes, please." He sighs softly as he wraps his towel around his waist, then grabbing you by the shoulders to place a soft kiss on your lips. "Don't take too long."

"I won't," You smile, leaning forward to kiss him gently. The kiss is only a second long, Leon chases after your lips as you pull away before he catches himself and freezes, you give his bicep a slight squeeze as you pull away and open the bathroom door.

You listen to the faint shuffling noises of Leon getting dressed in your bedroom down the hall as you microwave the small, plastic bowls of mac'n'cheese. Leon never asked you to put too much effort into cooking whenever he came home. Cereal, ramen, even just some slices of cheese and pepperoni would be fine for Leon as long as he'd be next to you in bed by the end of the night.

Leon was waiting for you underneath the covers of your shared bed as you entered your bedroom with your small dinner in each hand. He graciously accepts the food you hand to him, resting the hot bowl down on the blanket, watching you intently as you begin to change into your pajamas.

"I missed you," He mumbled to you, his eyes resting on your face as you adjusted your clothes.

"I know, you told me already." You smiled at him, sitting against the pillows on your side of the bed as Leon immediately moved to cuddle into your side.

"Thought you'd like to hear me say it again."

"I mean, I guess," You shrug jokingly, poking at your mac'n'cheese with your fork. Leon snorted slightly and rolled his eyes, leaning against you to press a kiss to your jaw before he began digging at his food.

Leon always watched you while the two of you ate in bed, focusing on the way your lips curled around your fork instead of focusing on the bowl in his hands. His eyes would trail from your lips to your eyes, patiently waiting for you to finish eating so you could pay attention to him again. There wasn’t a tv in your room, so you’d often fill the quiet void by telling him about your day or the things that you had done while he was away. He’d listen intently, even if what you were saying wasn’t all that interesting, he didn’t ask follow-up questions most of the time, instead focusing on the way your lips moved and the sound of your voice. Your days were mostly all the same; work was boring, you missed him, you went on a longer walk than usual and got a new treat from that bakery down the street, Leon loved hearing it all. He’d tell you a little a bit about his recent mission, leaving out most of the parts where he came too close to death, instead telling you about whatever scenery he saw that he deemed good enough for you to like and how well he fought.

Both yours and Leon’s bowls of mac’n’cheese are long finished by now, both of the bowls and forks left to rest on top of your bedside table until you threw them out the next day. You rested your head on his left bicep, tucked in close to his chest while you held his right hand in both your hands, your fingers running over his bruised knuckles. It was eleven, maybe eleven-thirty at night, you were well past tired, but Leon let you keep rambling on.

“I’m really happy you’re home.” You yawned, your grip on his hand and wrist tightening as you curled into him further.

“Me too,” He smiled, pulling your hands closer to his chest, he squeezed your hand back, shifting slightly to let you get more comfortable. “Go to sleep.”

“No,” Leon chuckled softly at the faint whine in your voice, watching as you let go of his hand and wrap them around his back, his hand that you were holding captive finding purchase on the skin of your waist underneath his old sweatshirt that you took as your own.

“I’m gonna be here in the morning,” He whispered as he kissed your forehead, running his hand up and down your side. “Just go to bed, baby. Don’t you need your beauty sleep?”

“Yeah, but I missed you.”

“I know that, I missed you, too. But you also look really tired right now and it’s late.” He squeezed your waist, moving his arm out from underneath your head to wrap around your shoulders. “I could listen to you talk on and on for hours, but right now I wanna fall asleep next to you. We can sleep in tomorrow, I’ll spend all day with you.”

“M’kay…” You yawned again, letting his quiet voice coax you further into your drowsiness. “You’re not hurt too bad?”

“No, you’re a great doctor.”

“Alright,” You nodded, lifting your head slightly to kiss him. “Goodnight.” You murmured against his lips, feeling him smile and run his hand along your spine.

“Sweet dreams, go to sleep now.” He whispered, tucking you back into his chest, feeling your heart beat against his chest as your breathing evened-out, signaling you falling asleep in his arms again.

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[blog-o-meter]

House of Whispers (Part 1) - Nicholas Alexander Chavez x fem!reader

summary: (Y/N) always knew her place — she was just the housekeeper’s daughter and, at times, Nicholas’s secret escape. But when he returns from Los Angeles 5 years later and moves back into his family’s estate with a pregnant girlfriend in tow, buried truths resurface.

warnings: 18+, angst, unprotected p in v, fingering, cunnilingus, cheating, cursing, arguing, outdoor sex, idk what else honestly

required listening: Already Know by DEGA; Anxious In Venice by Superhumanoids

word count: 28,830

a/n: I literally dreamt this a week ago and thought it would make a good fic 😭 also I didn’t plan on splitting this one up into two parts but I didn't know Tumblr had a block limit! so part 2 is already written and ready to go, I'm just gonna wait a few days to upload it so pls enjoy part 1 <3

Part 1 | Part 2

reblogs, likes, and replies are greatly appreciated and let me know if you'd like to see more!

The house was buzzing with anticipation — staff members fluttering around trying to tidy everything up even though the entire house was always pristine and nothing was ever out of place, the personal chef rushing to have the brunch menu perfectly plated and worthy of being on the cover of Food & Wine, and yard workers making sure every blade of grass and every petal of a flower was watered and lively. I had been in charge of making sure the guest suite was spotless, tidy, and ready to be moved into.

The Chavez family didn’t do anything halfway, and today was no exception; it was the day Nicholas would be moving back in after years of being away in Los Angeles to focus on his career. Him moving away in the first place was probably the best decision he could’ve made for himself because it had become totally worth it. He was drowning in role offers, on the cover of almost every magazine, and had managed to take the internet by storm. But the move back was just as important because he wouldn’t be returning alone. No, he would come back with a very important lady in tow — his pregnant girlfriend.

The announcement of his return had sent ripples through the estate. Everyone seemed eager to welcome Nicholas home, but for me, it had been a strange mixture of dread and longing. I hadn’t seen him in person since the night before he left for Los Angeles, and each time he’d find himself visiting the estate for holidays or birthdays, I’d coincidentally be out of the house. I told myself I was over him. Told myself that whatever we had all that time ago was just that — something we had. But when I found out he was coming and knowing he was doing so with someone else, her, and that they were starting a family? That stung in a way I wasn’t ready to confront.

So for now, I focused completely on making sure everything was ready. I stood in the guest suite, smoothing the already perfectly ironed duvet for the third time. The room was fit for royalty, with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the manicured gardens and a vase of fresh pink rhododendrons — I’m told are her favorite — on the nightstand.

Nicholas’s mom told me that I didn’t have to get them anything, but I wanted to. I told myself it was for her, but it wasn’t really. It was for me, to prove to myself that I wasn’t hung up on some past that doesn’t mean anything more. She was his girlfriend now, and I am just a housekeeper who worked with her mom at the Chavez estate. Everything was in its place, just as it always was. Just as I had to be.

I was listening to The Pixies — part of my 80s playlist — through my headphones as I fluffed pillows and dusted surfaces, too engrossed in the mechanical routine and the drums of Here Comes Your Man to realize my mom had been trying to get my attention for the past minute or so. That’s when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I whipped around and pulled the headphones off my head, the music blasting through the flimsy thin sponges suddenly sounding too loud in the quiet of the room. It was my mom, laughing to herself at the sight of me bopping my head as I cleaned.

“(Y/N), are you almost done in here?” She asked while trying to stifle a chuckle, rubbing her clammy hands on her pristine apron. She had been in charge of cleaning all of the restrooms along with one of the other housekeepers. “Mrs. Chavez wants everybody outside before Nicholas gets here.”

I nodded, quickly slipping the headphones around my neck. “Yeah, I’m done,” I said, glancing around the room one last time. Everything was perfect. Too perfect.

Mom gave me a knowing look, the kind she always gave when she could tell I was trying too hard. “The room is perfect, sweetie. Now, c’mon,” she waved her hand in excitement, “everybody else is outside.”

I grabbed my caddy of cleaning supplies and led us out of the suite, our shoes squeaking as we stepped out into the tiled hallway and down the grand staircase. I could feel her eyes on me as I walked out of the room. I wasn’t sure if she suspected how I felt about Nicholas or if she just thought I was being meticulous for the sake of appearances. Either way, I was grateful she didn’t say anything else.

I quickly walked over to the supply closet near the base of the staircase and placed my caddy inside as my mom scurried out of the front door and urged me to catch up with her. I scampered behind her, the polyester material of my uniform brushing over my knees with each hurried step.

Outside, the estate grounds were a picture of perfection, as they always were. The staff lined up neatly near the circular driveway, a quiet buzz of excitement rippling through them as they awaited Nicholas’s arrival with confetti cannons in hand. I hung back slightly, finding a spot near the end of the line with my mom and some of the other senior members of staff like the chef, fiddling with the edge of my cleaning apron. I told myself this was just another day, but I knew it wasn’t. It never was with him. Would he talk to me? Ignore me? I couldn’t blame him if he did.

“Oh, I see them!” Mrs. Chavez exclaimed as she pointed to the black Escalade driving up the street.

I watched as the luxury car came into view, pulling up smoothly into the driveway and coming to a stop in front of the fountain. A moment later, the door opened, and there he was.

Nicholas Alexander Chavez.

The driveway erupted into a mix of hoots and booms from the confetti cannons exploding in everybody’s hands, bright pieces of foil paper coating the sky and floating down to the stone ground.

Time hadn’t dulled anything about him. If anything, it had refined him. He was tanner, beefier — his arms and thighs practically begging to be let free from his form-fitting clothes. He wore a casual white button-down with the sleeves rolled up along with a pair of denim jeans, effortlessly handsome in a way that sent an unwelcome flutter through my chest. His dark brown eyes scanned the crowd with a quiet confidence, his jawline sharper than I remembered. His hair is a lot different than it used to be, too, no longer loosely swinging past his jaw but shorter and brushed back by the sunglasses on his head. He looked even better than when I last saw him. Oh no.

And then, she stepped out of the car.

She was gorgeous — glossy brown hair cascading over her shoulders and the pitch black oversized sunglasses shielding her eyes, a radiant smile that seemed to light up the entire estate flashing across her face. She wore a flowy dress, one that emphasized her still-flat stomach but there was the tiniest hint of a bump, the very thing that cemented her place next to Nicholas.

The staff clapped politely as Mrs. Chavez rushed toward the start of the line to greet her son, enveloping him in a tight hug. “Nicholas! Oh, it’s so good to have you home!” she gushed before turning to her. “And you, sweetie, look absolutely stunning.”

She beamed, taking Mrs. Chavez’s hands in hers and giving her an air kiss. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Chavez. It’s so nice to see you again.”

I tried to keep my expression neutral, to blend into the background as I always did, but Nicholas’s gaze swept over the line of staff and landed on me. For a split second, our eyes met and his smile grew softer, and I could’ve sworn time stood still and suddenly, I felt 18 again, sitting at the edge of the pool under the protective blanket of the dark night with Nicholas sitting beside me just inches away, the same soft smile on his face.

It had been one of those nights when the Chavez family was throwing some luxurious party, everyone drinking and mingling over glasses of champagne inside, except for me. My mom had asked me if I wanted to help her out at the party for a bit since one of the housekeepers had left earlier in the day, and I felt like being helpful that day. Eventually, though, the party had gone on later than usual, like always, and I found myself sitting outside on the edge of the pool at 2AM, like always.

The spring air was a little warm and still, the only sound was the occasional chirp of crickets and the gentle ripple of the pool water as I slowly circled my feet underwater. I had been sitting at the edge, part of my brain counting down the minutes until my mom and I could go home and the other part thinking about the week ahead — spring semester finals week of college. The moonlight danced across the surface, and I let myself drift into thoughts I shouldn’t have been entertaining.

And then he appeared, as if he knew I was thinking about him.

“You’re always up late, even when there isn’t a party going on inside.”

Nic’s voice was low and easy, the kind that made my heart skip a beat no matter how much I tried to steel myself against it.

I turned my head and saw him standing near the end of the pool, barefoot and wearing a pair of sweatpants hung low on his hips and a graphic tee that swayed against his skinny frame as he strolled over to me. He held a beer in one hand, the bottle catching the faint glow of the pool lights as he moved.

“I’m a night owl, I guess,” I replied, my voice steadier than I felt.

He smirked, setting the bottle down on the concrete before sitting next to me, close enough that the warmth of his skin radiated toward me. His legs dangled over the edge, and for a moment, we just sat there, staring at the water in comfortable silence.

“So finals week, huh?” he asked, glancing sideways at me.

I nodded, surprised he remembered me mentioning it passing a few days ago. “Yeah. Just one more week and my first year of college will be behind me. I should probably be asleep, but—” I glanced back at the house, “—the party’s still going on. That and…”

“And your mind won’t shut up,” he finished for me, his smirk softening into something more genuine, that soft smile that could trigger something in me.

I stifled a chuckle, “Yeah.”

He let out a soft laugh, leaning back on his hands and tilting his face toward the stars. “I remember those nights. Feels like a lifetime ago.”

“You’re only two years older,” I quietly laughed.

He turned to look at me, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Doesn’t mean I don’t remember the stress. Want me to tell you a secret?”

I raised an eyebrow, curious despite myself. “What?”

“I used to sneak out here to clear my head, just like you,” he took a small swig of his beer.

“Yeah, I remember seeing you out here sometimes,” I mumbled.

“There’s something about the quiet, you know?” He set the bottle back down with a quiet clink. “It makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world for a little while.”

I swallowed hard, my gaze flicking to his face. He looked so different under the moonlight — softer, more open. It made it hard to keep my thoughts in check. “Yeah, it does,” I murmured.

“I’ll tell you another secret,” he said as he grabbed his beer again, bringing it up to his lips but too lost in thought to take another sip. “Nobody knows yet, but…” he swallowed dryly, “I’m gonna drop out.”

The words hung in the air between us, heavy with implication. I blinked, turning to face him fully, unsure if I’d heard him right. “You’re dropping out? Of Rutgers?”

He smirked and nodded, “Well, not dropping out. I already did,” he set the bottle back down on the concrete in the little space between our legs. “Already did the paperwork. I’m not going back in the fall.”

The shock hit me like a slap to the face. Nic was supposed to be the golden boy — the one who had everything figured out. College was just a stepping stone for him to achieve whatever greatness everyone assumed he was destined for. “Why?”

He chuckled softly, the sound low and self-assured. “Because it’s not for me,” he said, leaning back on his hands again. His face was calm, like he’d made peace with it a long time ago. “And because I love acting way too much to be wasting my time sitting in lectures and writing papers. I want more than that. I need more.”

I stared at him, searching his face for any sign of hesitation, but there wasn’t any. “So what’s your plan?” I asked quietly.

He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he moved the beer bottle separating us and shifted closer, his knee brushing against mine as he reached down and swirled his fingers in the water. “I’m moving to LA. I already got in contact with an agent, already sent in a few self-tape auditions.” He was quiet for a beat, Nicholas tilted his head, his gaze meeting mine. “If I don’t do it now, I’ll regret it forever,” he said, and there it was — that spark in his eyes that made it clear he wasn’t just talking. He meant it.

I couldn’t help but admire him in that moment — the way he seemed so sure of himself, so ready to take on the world without any fear. But I also couldn’t ignore the tiny ache in my chest, the thought of him leaving hitting me harder than I expected.

“When are you leaving?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper as I looked back toward the water.

“End of the summer,” he said. “A couple more months.”

The words hung heavy between us, and for a moment, neither of us spoke. The faint ripple of the water and the chirping crickets filled the silence, but it wasn’t enough to drown out the weight of what he’d just told me.

He broke the silence then. “You’re going to crush those finals, you know,” he said, his voice quieter now. “You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.”

The unexpected compliment caught me off guard, and I turned to him, my heart thudding in my chest. “Thanks,” I said softly, unable to look away from him.

His gaze lingered on mine, and for a moment, I thought he might say something else. But instead, he leaned in, closing the space between us until his lips brushed against mine. It was soft at first, tentative, like he was giving me a chance to pull away. But when I didn’t — when I kissed him back — something shifted.

The kiss deepened, and I felt his hand move to the back of my neck, pulling me closer. My heart raced, every nerve in my body buzzing as his lips pressed harder against mine, as though he needed this just as much as I did. My fingers found their way into his stringy hair, and every logical thought evaporated.

It was reckless, dangerous, and so far beyond what should’ve been happening — after all, his mom was my mom’s boss and, occasionally, my own — but I didn’t care. Not in that moment.

His other hand slipped around my waist, tugging me against him as the cool night air was replaced by the heat radiating from his body. My fingers clutched at his t-shirt, my breaths coming faster as his tongue brushed against mine. It was everything I shouldn’t have wanted — everything I had told myself over and over I could never have — but it was also everything I couldn’t resist.

“Fuck,” he muttered against my lips, his voice rough and low, and the sound sent a shiver down my spine. He pulled back just enough to look at me, his brown eyes searching mine. “You sure?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper, and I realized he was giving me a choice, an out.

I didn’t need to think. “Yes,” I breathed, my voice shaking but certain.

That was all he needed to hear.

Before I could blink, he had pulled me up from the edge of the pool, his hands strong and steady as he guided me toward the pool house. The door clicked shut behind us, the sound echoing in the quiet, and suddenly we were alone, the world outside fading into nothingness.

The intensity of his gaze pinned me in place as he stepped closer, his hands sliding down to my hips and pulling me against him. “I’ve wanted this for so fucking long,” he admitted, his voice husky as his lips brushed against my jaw, trailing down to the sensitive skin of my neck.

I gasped, my hands tangling in his hair as he pressed me against the cool wall. “Me too,” I whispered, the words spilling out before I could stop them.

His hands roamed over my body, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake as he guided me to the small couch. We fell into it together, our bodies tangling in a way that felt both desperate and natural. The air was thick with heat and tension, each movement electric. His lips were everywhere — on my neck, my collarbone, trailing lower and lower with a hunger that left me breathless.

“God, you’re fucking perfect,” Nic growled against my skin, his hands exploring me like he had been waiting forever to touch me like this.

I moaned softly, my hands clutching at his t-shirt, desperate to pull him closer. “You talk too much,” I whispered back, my words teasing but breathless.

He laughed low in his throat, the sound vibrating against my skin as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it carelessly to the floor. His body was lean but strong, his skin warm under my fingertips as I ran my hands over his chest, his stomach.

His lips crashed back against mine, more forceful this time, as his hands moved to the hem of my shirt. He tugged it over my head in one quick motion, his eyes darkening as they raked over me.

“Fuck,” he muttered again, his hands sliding around to my back to pull me closer. “I can’t believe I waited this long.”

I couldn’t respond, couldn’t even think, as he pressed me back against the cushions of the couch. His body was over mine, his weight grounding me in a way that felt both overwhelming and intoxicating. His kisses grew more urgent, his touch more deliberate, as we moved together, the space between us disappearing entirely.

Our bodies collided like a force of nature — hot, desperate, and completely unrestrained. The room was quiet save for the sound of our ragged breathing, our wet kisses, and the occasional thud of clothes being tossed to the floor. His mouth was on mine again, and I felt like I couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t touch enough of him, couldn’t get enough of him.

Nic groaned, his voice low and guttural as his lips trailed down my neck and over my chest. His hands gripped my hips tightly, like he was afraid I’d disappear if he let go. “You’re gonna kill me.”

I laughed breathlessly, threading my fingers through his hair and pulling his face back to mine. “Good,” I whispered against his lips before kissing him hard.

His laugh turned into a growl as his hands moved lower, sliding over the curve of my thighs and pressing me firmly into the couch. I gasped, my back arching as his touch lit a fire under my skin. He was everywhere, consuming me, and I didn’t want him to stop.

“I’ve thought about this,” he murmured, his lips brushing against my ear as he slid his hands back up my thighs. “So many fucking times.”

I couldn’t respond — not with words, at least. Instead, I pulled him closer, my nails scraping lightly down his back as his lips moved lower. My breathing hitched as he kissed a path down my stomach, his hands pushing my legs further apart.

“Shit,” I gasped, my head falling back against the cushions as he kissed along my inner thigh. The combination of his lips, his hands, and the way he was looking at me was almost too much.

He chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against my skin as he pressed a kiss just above my waistband before coming back up to hover over me. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice thick with sincerity and desire. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you that before.”

I swallowed hard, my hands finding their way to his face as I pulled him down for another kiss. “You don’t have to,” I whispered against his lips. “Just…don’t stop.”

And he didn’t.

He crawled back down, hooking his fingers through the belt loops of my shorts and pulling them down, not bothering to fiddle with the button or zipper. His impatience was electric, the shorts, along with my underwear, sliding off my legs in one swift motion before being tossed somewhere behind him. The weight of his gaze dragged over me, dark and burning with something primal.

“You’re fucking unreal,” he muttered, almost to himself, his hands running up the bare skin of my thighs, pausing just enough to make me shiver.

“Then stop wasting time,” I shot back, breathless, barely recognizing my own voice.

His lips quirked up in a smirk as he leaned down again, pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin of my hip. “Bossy,” he teased, but his hands told a different story, sliding higher and higher, until—

“Fuck,” I gasped, my head tipping back as his fingers finally found the spot that had been aching for him.

“That’s it,” he murmured, his voice low and reverent as he worked me in slow, deliberate circles. My hips bucked instinctively, trying to draw him closer, but he held me steady, his strength only adding to the overwhelming sensation.

“Nic,” I choked out, his name slipping from my lips before I could stop it.

His movements faltered for a second, his gaze snapping up to meet mine. Something flickered in his eyes — possessiveness, maybe, or the thrill of hearing his name like that from me. He leaned down, his breath hot against my skin.

“Say it again,” he commanded, his voice rough and dripping with authority.

“Fuck, Nic,” I whimpered, my hands fisting into the couch cushions as his fingers pressed deeper, his movements quickening.

“Good girl,” he rasped, the praise sending another wave of heat rushing through me. He shifted lower, his lips trailing kisses along my thighs as his fingers continued their relentless pace.

My breaths came quicker, my entire body trembling under his touch. He was merciless, pulling me apart inch by inch, dragging me closer to the edge until—

“Oh, my God,” I cried out, my vision going white as pleasure hit me like a tidal wave. My back arched, my hands scrabbling for purchase as I completely unraveled beneath him.

He didn’t stop, his mouth now replacing his hand as he coaxed every last tremor from me, his low groans vibrating against my skin. It was overwhelming, his name tumbling from my lips like a prayer as I sank back into the cushions, utterly spent.

Before I could catch my breath, he was on me again, his lips crashing against mine, hot and messy and desperate. I could taste myself on him, and instead of embarrassment, it only fueled the fire that hadn’t quite burned out.

“You’re gonna kill me,” I panted against his mouth, my fingers dragging over the lines of his chest, lower, to the waistband of his sweatpants.

“Fair fucking trade,” he growled, his teeth grazing my jaw as I tugged his pants down, freeing him.

The weight of him against my palm had me trembling all over again, but this time I didn’t hesitate. I wrapped my hand around him, relishing the hiss that escaped his lips.

“Jesus,” he muttered, his forehead falling to mine as his hips jerked into my touch. 

It wasn’t long before he pulled my hand away, pinning it above my head as he lined himself up with me, his free hand gripping my hip to keep me steady. His gaze locked on mine, his brows furrowed like he was barely holding himself together.

“Tell me to stop,” he murmured, though his body betrayed the tension coiled in him, begging for release.

I shook my head, my voice steady despite the pounding in my chest. “Don’t you dare.”

With that, he pushed into me, slow and deliberate, a curse falling from his lips as he filled me completely. The stretch was almost too much, but the way he held me, his forehead pressed to mine, made it impossible to feel anything but him.

“Fuck, you feel…” he trailed off, his words lost in a groan as he pulled back and thrust forward again, this time harder, deeper.

I couldn’t respond, couldn’t form a single coherent thought as he set a rhythm, each movement driving me closer to the edge all over again.

“Look at me,” he demanded, his voice rough, and when my eyes met his, the intensity there stole what little breath I had left. “You have no idea what you do to me,” he murmured, his pace quickening as his hand moved between us, his fingers finding that spot again, pushing me higher and higher.

“Nic, I—” I gasped, unable to finish the sentence as my body tightened around him, pleasure ripping through me with a force that left me trembling, crying out his name.

“That’s it, baby,” he groaned, his thrusts growing erratic as he chased his own release. With one final, deep thrust, he fell over the edge, his groan low and guttural as he spilled into me, his body collapsing against mine.

For a long moment, neither of us moved, our ragged breaths filling the space between us. His weight was heavy but grounding, his head buried in the crook of my neck as his hands smoothed over my sides, soothing the aftershocks still rippling through me.

When he finally lifted his head to look at me, his lips quirked into a lazy, satisfied grin while his stringy hair flopped over his forehead and brushed my face.

We didn’t talk about it afterward. We never did. But that night became the first of many stolen moments, each one pulling me further into a reality I knew I could never have, not when I knew he’d be leaving in a few months to chase his dreams.

Back in the present, I forced myself to blink, the memory dissipating like smoke as I stood near the edge of the driveway, Nicholas’s smile fading from my mind. The sound of polite applause and welcomes brought me crashing back to reality.

I found him still looking at me, but he was interrupted by his mom pulling him in for another tight hug, which I was grateful happened. I wasn’t ready to talk to him, not right now. Suddenly feeling the bile in my stomach gurgle and gnaw at my insides, I leaned into my mom’s ear. “I think I forgot to put away one of the vacuums in the room,” I whispered.

She was too caught up in the moment, excitedly watching the family reunite, and only gave me a quick nod.

I inconspicuously retreated from the line of staff, my heart pounding harder with each step. The memory had shaken me more than I wanted to admit, the phantom sensation of his hands on my body lingering far too vividly in my mind, somehow feeling just as fresh even after all these years.

I darted into the house, the cool air a stark contrast to the heat outside. I leaned against the wall of the grand foyer, squeezing my eyes shut and taking a deep breath, but it did nothing to calm the mess of emotions swirling in my chest.

What the hell was I doing?

I had spent years convincing myself that what happened between us didn’t matter anymore — that it had been a fleeting thing, a summer romance born of youth and circumstance. But seeing him again had ripped open every wound I thought I’d buried.

I couldn’t stay out here and risk running into him again, not with her there. Not with that tiny bump on her stomach and the reality of what his life had become staring me in the face.

I turned on my heel and made for the stairs, pretending to head for the vacuum I hadn’t forgotten. I just needed a few minutes to pull myself together before someone noticed. I’d barely made it halfway up when everybody started making their way back inside. I looked over the railing as I continued my ascent, and Nicholas’s eyes flicked back up to me again before smiling over to his girlfriend as his mom showed her around the house, guiding the both of them toward the kitchen.

I ducked into the guest suite before anyone could notice me, closing the door softly behind me. My chest felt tight, my breaths too shallow, like I couldn’t get enough air. The memories of that summer wouldn’t leave me alone, clinging to the edges of my mind and taunting me with what once was.

I paced the length of the room, trying to shake it off. It had been years. Years since that night. Years since the others that followed. Years since I’d told myself it was over, that it had to be over. He made that very clear back then. It didn’t matter how he looked at me back then. It didn’t matter how he looked at me now. Except it did — to me, at least.

His smile when he spotted me outside, that flicker of something familiar in his dark brown eyes — it felt like a goddamn punch to the gut. And then there was her. That perfect, glowing woman who had everything I couldn’t even dream of. A future. A family. Him.

I let out a sharp breath, running a hand through my hair. Get it together, I told myself. I had a job to do, nothing more and nothing less.

Just then, the door opened, a few of the staff members walking in with luggage in tow and setting the bags near the foot of the bed. I politely smiled at them, “Are there any more bags you guys need help with?”

One of the housekeepers, Maria, glanced at me and shook her head, her arms straining slightly under the weight of a Louis Vuitton suitcase. “No, I think this is the last of it,” she said. Then, leaning closer, she added in a hushed tone, “I can’t believe she’s already moving in. Not wasting any time, huh?”

I forced a smile, my stomach twisting at her words. “Guess not,” I murmured.

I brushed past her and made my way out of the guest suite and rushed to the stairs. Just then Mrs. Chavez, Nicholas, and his girlfriend were all making their way up the stairs. The ladies were too engrossed in their conversation to notice me going down but when I brushed past them, Mrs. Chavez lit up.

“Oh, (Y/N)! There you are,” she smiled.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around to look up at them, politely smiling. “Hi, Mrs. Chavez. I was just making sure everything was ready in the guest suite.”

“(Y/N), this is Nicholas’s girlfrie— excuse me, fiancée, Valerie,” Mrs. Chavez smiled. “Valerie, this is (Y/N). She’s (Y/M/N)’s daughter and has also been with us for years.”

Valerie pulled back her black sunglasses then and flashed me a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, such a contrast to the way I had seen her outside. “Hi,” she said in a perky tone as she looked down at me.

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you, Valerie,” I smiled sheepishly, brushing the hem of my uniform, trying to avoid glancing at Nicholas. “I know Mrs. Chavez said I didn’t need to get you anything, but I left a bouquet of rhododendrons on your nightstand as a welcome gift,” I smiled.

“Oh!” She said, her jaw falling into an open smile, almost as if she was surprised I had considered her.

“She said they were your favorite,” I fiddled with my fingers without looking.

Nicholas turned his head to look up at his mom then, “That’s why you asked the other day,” a soft smile on his lips.

Mrs. Chavez nodded with a proud smile. “Of course. We wanted to make sure everything was perfect for your homecoming. And you know how (Y/N) has always been so thoughtful.”

Valerie glanced at the three of us, her smile faltering just slightly before she replaced it with another bright grin. “That’s so sweet of you, (Y/N). Thank you,” she said, but there was a hint of something sharp in her tone, subtle but unmistakable.

I nodded politely, feeling a flush creep up my neck. “It was nothing,” I said quickly. “I’ll let you all settle in. Mrs. Chavez, I’ll be in the kitchen helping prepare for brunch.”

As I turned to head back downstairs, Nicholas’s voice stopped me. “(Y/N).”

I paused, my heart stuttering in my chest as I turned back around to face him. “Yes?”

His smile was softer now, more genuine, and it felt like it was just for me. That was dangerous. “Thank you.”

The air between us crackled with an unspoken tension, but it only lasted a second before Valerie looped her arm through his, leaning into his side with a perfectly practiced smile.

“Let’s go look at our room, baby,” she chimed, her tone sugary sweet but just shy of dismissive.

Nicholas glanced at her, his smile faltering slightly, but he nodded and let her guide him up the stairs. “Yeah, let’s go,” he said, though his gaze lingered on me for just a moment longer before he turned away.

I exhaled slowly, forcing myself to move down the stairs. The sharp edge of Valerie’s tone had sliced right through me, but I couldn’t blame her. She had every reason to feel territorial. Still, it stung. Not because she had him now — well, not entirely — but because I hated the way she looked at me, like I didn’t belong, like I was nothing more than the girl who cleaned the rooms and set the table.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I headed for the kitchen, hoping to lose myself in the chaos of brunch preparations. The sound of pots clattering and Paolo, the family chef, barking orders was almost comforting in its familiarity. I grabbed an apron from the rack and slipped it over my head, eager for the distraction.

I clapped my hands once. “What can I help with, Pao?”

He whipped around, a big smile peeking out from under his bushy, graying mustache, “Why don’t you start setting up the tables outside? People should be arriving soon, and we cannot have the tables looking bare,” he laughed.

I grabbed the stack of white linens and the box of polished silverware and plates from the counter, nodding at Paolo. “On it,” I said, thankful for the task to keep my hands busy and my mind distracted. Setting the tables meant I could stay busy and avoid the suffocating tension in the house. With that, I headed out to the garden.

The Chavez family brunches were always grand affairs, with guests flitting around the estate like peacocks, each one more polished than the last.

Outside, the estate was already buzzing with activity. Staff darted around carrying trays of mimosas and finger foods while Mrs. Chavez floated between them, directing traffic like the queen she was. I made my way to the tables arranged under the sprawling canopy of the garden, the sunlight filtering through the trees and dappling the perfectly manicured grass. The view should’ve been calming, but the knot in my stomach refused to loosen.

I began laying out the linens, smoothing them over the round tables one by one and making my way to the cart of centerpieces waiting to be arranged on the tables, carrying the sparkling crystal vases of wildflowers and carefully placing them on each table. I then arranged the cutlery with practiced precision, working methodically — placing forks, knives, and spoons on the correct sides and at the perfect angle and folding the linen napkins into perfect fans. The repetitive task helped steady my hands, though my mind still raced, replaying the exchange at the staircase.

Every now and then, I glanced up to make sure everything looked perfect — the kind of perfection the Chavez family always demanded. But the peace I’d found in the quiet of the garden was short-lived. A voice — sharp, clear, and just a little too close — cut through the gentle hum of the brunch preparations.

“So, how long have you worked here?”

I looked up to find her standing on the opposite side of the table, her arms crossed loosely, her sunglasses now perched on top of her glossy hair. Valerie looked every bit the picture of effortless elegance, but there was something about the way she leaned into her stance that felt…pointed.

“Uh…” I blinked, caught off guard. “Officially, almost six years now,” I replied softly, continuing to place plates and silverware. “I actually left for a bit after getting my bachelor’s to focus on working in my field, but I decided I wanted to get a master’s, so I came back last year so I can save up.” I’m not sure why I decided to tell half my life story to her. Maybe I thought it would endear me to her, hopefully.

She nodded, a polite smile stretching across her lips as she stepped closer. “Wow, six years. That’s a long time. You must really love it here.”

“It’s a good job,” I replied, carefully folding the last napkin into a crisp fan. “And my mom’s worked for the family for even longer, so… I kind of grew up here.”

Her expression didn’t shift much, but there was a flicker of something behind her eyes — a spark of curiosity, maybe, or judgment. “That’s sweet,” she said, her tone teetering on the edge of insincerity. “It must’ve been interesting growing up so close to Nicholas.”

My heart skipped. “He’s…always been nice,” I said carefully, my fingers tightening around the napkin in my hand.

Her smile widened, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Oh, I’m sure he was. Nic’s always had a big heart, hasn’t he?” She leaned forward slightly, her voice dropping just enough to make the question feel more pointed. “He mentioned you earlier, you know. Said you were thoughtful. It’s nice that you went out of your way with the flowers.”

My chest tightened. I set the napkin down, forcing myself to meet her gaze. “It wasn’t a big deal. Just something I thought you might like.”

She tilted her head, studying me for a moment before her smile softened into something almost sympathetic. “Well, I appreciate it. It’s just…interesting, isn’t it? How people can sometimes misinterpret kindness.”

The words hung in the air between us, heavy with implication.

“What do you mean?” I asked, keeping my voice as steady as I could.

She shrugged, the movement graceful but dismissive. “Oh, nothing. I just think it’s good to keep things professional, don’t you? Lines can get blurry sometimes, especially when people have known each other for so long.”

The knot in my stomach tightened into something sharper, anger sparking under the surface of my calm. “I’ve always been professional,” I said evenly, my hands clenching at my sides. “I take my job seriously.”

Her smile faltered for a split second before she recovered, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Good,” she said, her tone light but laced with steel. “Because I don’t think Nic needs any distractions, especially right now with the baby and the wedding planning and all. And like you said, you’re saving up for graduate school, so you need this job, right?”

The words hit me like a slap, sharp and intentional. I swallowed hard, my fists tightening at my sides as I stared at her, trying to keep my composure. Her smile stayed in place, but there was nothing kind about it now. It was a challenge, a warning wrapped in a veneer of politeness.

“I do,” I said evenly, my voice steady despite the fire building in my chest.

Her eyes flicked over me, calculating, before she took a small step back. “Good. I’d hate for things to get…complicated.”

My fingers dug into the fabric of the napkin I was folding, crumpling its perfect creases. She was trying to assert her dominance, staking her claim over him in the most passive-aggressive way possible, and I couldn’t help but resent how effective it was. She didn’t have to scream or yell; her message was clear as day — I didn’t belong, here or with him. Though, I couldn’t exactly be mad at her for the latter.

She lingered for a moment longer, her gaze sweeping over the table as if she were inspecting my work. Then she turned and walked away, her heels clicking softly against the stone path as she made her way back toward the house.

I exhaled sharply, my shoulders sagging as the tension drained from my body. My hands trembled slightly, but I forced myself to keep working, adjusting the placement of a centerpiece that didn’t need adjusting.

I finished setting up the tables just as guests started to arrive, spilling into the picturesque backyard. I grabbed the stack of leftover plates and silverware and headed back inside to the kitchen, setting the things down with a particular force on the island.

Paolo’s eyes flicked up to me. “Whoa, whoa, what did the plates ever do to you?” He teased, his thick Italian accent curling around his words as he chopped a pile of fresh basil. His eyes, however, sharpened with concern as he studied me. “You look like you’re ready to murder someone.”

I forced a smile, the edges of it brittle. “I’m fine. Just a little overwhelmed with all the…guests,” I said, my voice strained.

He snorted, setting his knife down and leaning against the counter. “Guests, huh? Or just one in particular?”

I shot him a look, but Paolo wasn’t one to back down, especially when it came to teasing me. “Don’t look at me like that. I saw her come in here earlier. The new princess. She’s…what’s the word? A delight.”

“Don’t,” I said quickly, my voice sharper than I intended. “I don’t need you adding to it.”

Paolo raised his hands in mock surrender, his bushy mustache twitching with a smirk, but his curiosity lingered. He gave a small shrug before returning to his chopping. “Hey, I’m just saying. But if you need to stab into some dough, I’ll be right here.”

I huffed a small laugh despite myself, shaking my head as I grabbed a fresh tray of appetizers to take outside. “Thanks, Pao. I’ll keep that in mind.”

The backyard was already buzzing with chatter, laughter, and the clinking of champagne glasses. I moved through the crowd like a ghost, my tray balanced carefully in my hands as I offered bruschetta to the guests, avoiding eye contact whenever possible.

As I made my way through the backyard, weaving between clusters of perfectly dressed guests, I kept my head down and my movements mechanical. The tension from Valerie’s thinly veiled warning still coiled tight in my chest, like a spring waiting to snap. I smiled politely at the occasional “thank you” or “these are delicious,” but my focus was on getting through this without making a scene.

I weaved through the sea of polished smiles and clinking glasses, the tray of bruschetta growing lighter with every guest who plucked one off without a second glance at me. The hum of conversation was a soothing distraction, but my nerves buzzed beneath the surface, sharp and impossible to ignore. I’d done this a hundred times before, but today felt different — everything felt different with her here.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” an older woman murmured as she took a piece from the tray, her gold bracelets jingling as she moved. I nodded politely, offering a small smile before slipping away to the next cluster of guests.

And then I saw him.

Nicholas stood near the garden trellis, a glass of champagne in hand, talking to an older couple I vaguely recognized as longtime family friends. His easy smile was on full display, charming and genuine, and for a moment, I let myself linger, watching the way he carried himself. The way his head tilted slightly when he listened, the way his hands moved when he spoke — it was all so achingly familiar.

But just as quickly as the warmth of recognition filled me, it was snuffed out when Valerie appeared at his side. She slid her arm through his with practiced grace, her laugh cutting through the air as she joined the conversation. Nicholas glanced at her, his smile softening in a way that felt…off.

I turned away quickly, the sting sharper than I expected, and nearly collided with Paolo as he emerged from the house carrying a tray of fresh cannoli.

“Careful, ragazza,” he said with a laugh, steadying me with one hand. “You’ll knock me over before I even get these out to the guests.”

“Sorry,” I muttered, stepping back to let him pass. I caught the concern in his eyes as he looked at me, but thankfully, he didn’t say anything.

I took a steadying breath and made my way to the buffet table to drop off the now-empty tray. I needed a moment to collect myself before diving back into the crowd. But as I turned, I froze.

Nicholas was walking toward me.

My heart thudded painfully in my chest as he crossed the garden, his dark brown eyes locked on mine with an intensity that made it impossible to look away. He wasn’t smiling now, his expression unreadable but charged with something that sent a shiver down my spine.

I glanced around, worried if Valerie might’ve been watching, but I didn’t spot her anywhere. And just when I thought Nicholas might reach me, somebody approached him and started making conversation. I took that as my opportunity to grab a new tray of appetizers Paolo had put out and make my escape.

I moved quickly, balancing the fresh tray of canapés in my hands, keeping my head down as I skirted the edge of the garden. My pulse pounded in my ears, and I focused on the task in front of me: deliver the food, avoid Nicholas, and keep things professional — exactly the way Valerie had made painfully clear I needed to.

But, of course, fate had other plans.

I rounded a corner near the far end of the garden, heading toward a quieter cluster of guests when a firm hand caught my elbow, stopping me in my tracks. My breath hitched, and I turned sharply to find Nicholas standing there, his fingers still loosely wrapped around my arm. His dark eyes searched mine, and for a moment, the noise of the party faded into the background.

“Can we talk?” he asked, his voice low but urgent.

I hesitated, glancing around to see if anyone was watching. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” I murmured, trying to keep my tone even.

His grip didn’t tighten, but it didn’t fall away either. “Please,” he said, his gaze holding mine. “Just for a minute.”

I swallowed hard, my stomach twisting. Against every ounce of better judgment, I nodded. “Fine. One minute.”

He let go of my arm, his hand brushing against mine briefly as he led me toward a more secluded corner of the garden, away from the prying eyes of guests and, more importantly, Valerie.

When we stopped, he turned to face me fully, his expression tight. He took the tray of canapés from my hands and set it down on a nearby ledge before running a hand through his hair, his fingers briefly tangling in the strands before resting on the back of his neck. He looked as if he were trying to find the right words, but the silence stretched between us, thick and charged.

“Nicholas,” I said softly, trying to break whatever tension was building. “You shouldn’t—”

“I don’t care what I should or shouldn’t do right now,” he interrupted, his voice low but sharp. “I need to ask you something.”

I blinked, taken aback by his sudden intensity. “What?”

His eyes searched mine, a mix of frustration and something else I couldn’t quite place. “Did she say something to you?” he asked, his tone urgent. “Earlier, when you were setting the tables — did she?”

The question hit me like a jolt. Of course, he’d noticed. Nicholas was too observant for his own good. I opened my mouth to deny it, to brush it off as nothing, but the look in his eyes stopped me. He already knew the answer.

“Why does it matter?” I hedged, looking down at the tray still balanced in my hands. “She’s your fiancée, and I’m just—”

“Don’t,” he said sharply, cutting me off again. His voice softened, but the edge remained. “Don’t finish that sentence,” he huffed deeply.

My chest tightened, and I forced myself to look at him. “She just told me to keep it professional,” I said, my voice quieter now.

Nicholas let out a frustrated breath, his jaw tightening. “She had no right to say anything to you.”

“She’s your fiancée,” I said, forcing the words out even though they felt like knives on my tongue. “She has every right to say whatever she wants. And she’s not wrong, Nicholas. You’re here with me instead of out there with your pregnant fiancée.”

He flinched, as if my words had struck him, but he didn’t look away. His hand twitched at his side, like he wanted to reach for me but was holding himself back. His gaze burned into mine, his dark eyes filled with a storm of emotions I couldn’t unravel. He took a step back, running a hand through his hair again. “Fuck. This is so much more complicated than I thought it would be.”

I swallowed hard, my heart pounding as I watched him struggle with whatever was going on in his head. I reached for the tray of canapés I had set down.

“Where are you going?” He asked quietly, hesitantly stepping toward me.

“I gave you a minute,” I spoke softly. “I have to get back to work.”

Nicholas reached out, his hand brushing my arm lightly as if to stop me. “Wait,” he said, his voice quieter now but no less intense. “Just… I’m sorry.”

I froze, my fingers tightening around the tray as I turned back to face him. For a moment, I thought he might apologize for what happened between us, since he never did, but that was just me being hopeful. “Sorry for what?” I asked, trying to keep my tone even, though my chest felt like it might collapse under the weight of the tension between us.

“For her,” he said bluntly, his jaw tightening. “For the way she spoke to you. She doesn’t know you — she doesn’t know anything about you — and she had no right to talk to you like that.”

I let out a sharp laugh, the sound more bitter than I intended. “You don’t have to apologize for her, Nicholas. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine,” he shot back, his voice low and firm. “And I don’t want you thinking for a second that I agree with anything she said.” He took a step closer, his dark eyes locking onto mine. “You don’t deserve that.”

My breath caught, and for a moment, I couldn’t move, couldn’t think. The sincerity in his voice, the way his gaze held mine — it was too much. I glanced away, breaking the spell, and shifted the tray in my hands.

I looked down at the tray in my hands. “Get back to the party, Nic,” I said softly, using the nickname I hadn’t dared say in years.

Nicholas froze at the sound of his nickname on my lips, his eyes softening even as his jaw clenched. He stepped closer, closing the space between us until I could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

“Don’t call me that unless you mean it,” he said quietly, his voice low and steady, like he was trying to keep himself from saying more.

My heart raced, my grip tightening on the tray as I looked up at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.

He let out a frustrated huff, his hand reaching out to brush against my arm. “You do,” he murmured, his tone softening. “You know exactly what I mean, (Y/N).”

“Go back to the party, Nicholas,” I whispered again, my voice steadier this time. “Your fiancée’s probably wondering where you are.”

The words were like acid on my tongue, but they had the desired effect. His expression shifted, the tension in his shoulders returning as he nodded stiffly.

“Right,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair before turning away. He didn’t look back as he disappeared into the crowd of guests, his figure blending into the polished chaos of the brunch.

My hands trembled as I held the tray, forcing myself to breathe, to move, to pretend like my entire world hadn’t just shifted. I exhaled sharply, my chest burning as I turned and headed back toward the kitchen. My hands trembled slightly, the tray of canapés feeling heavier than it should.

Paolo glanced up as I set the tray down on the counter, his sharp eyes narrowing as he took in my flushed face and trembling hands.

“Let me guess,” he said dryly, setting down the whisk he’d been using to whip cream. “The prince found you.”

I shot him a look, but there was no heat behind it. “Not now, Paolo.”

He raised his hands in mock surrender but didn’t push further, thankfully. Instead, he handed me a glass of water, his brow furrowed with genuine concern.

I took the glass and downed it in one go, the cool water doing little to calm the storm raging inside me. I set the glass down and leaned against the counter, closing my eyes as I tried to steady my breathing.

This was a mistake. All of it. Letting him talk to me, letting him get under my skin again — it was dangerous, and I knew better. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t ignore the way his words lingered, the way his gaze burned into me, the way he’d said my name like it still meant something to him. The way he’d apologized, not for himself, but for her.

Just then, Mrs. Chavez’s voice rang loudly through a speaker outside.

“Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention, please!” Mrs. Chavez’s polished voice rang through the garden, cutting through the hum of chatter. “It’s time for a toast to officially welcome my son Nicholas and his beautiful fiancée, Valerie, back home!”

A polite round of applause followed, and my stomach churned. Paolo shot me a knowing glance, but I shook my head, silently begging him not to say anything. I pushed off the counter, needing to keep moving, to focus on anything other than the fact that I was about to witness yet another public display of their perfect union.

“Here, take these,” Paolo said, handing me another tray of hors d’oeuvres. “But if you need to take a break, I can cover for you.”

I forced a smile, taking the tray from his hands. He didn’t look convinced, but he let it go, turning back to his station as I made my way outside.

The garden was packed now, with guests clustered around. Mrs. Chavez stood near the head of the gathering, a crystal glass of champagne in hand and a radiant smile on her face. Nicholas and Valerie stood beside her, their hands intertwined, the perfect picture of a couple madly in love.

“Thank you all for coming today,” Mrs. Chavez continued, her voice warm and commanding. “It means so much to have you all here to celebrate Nicholas’s homecoming. And, of course, we’re thrilled to welcome Valerie into the family.”

Another round of applause erupted, and I clenched the tray in my hands, willing myself to stay calm.

“Nicholas, we are so proud of everything you’ve accomplished,” Mrs. Chavez went on, her eyes shining as she looked at her son. “And we couldn’t be more excited for this next chapter of your life.”

My chest tightened as I watched Nicholas glance down at Valerie, his smile faltering for just a moment before he quickly recovered while Valerie beamed up at him like the doting fiancée she was supposed to be.

Mrs. Chavez raised her glass higher. “To Nicholas and Valerie, and to the beautiful journey ahead of them!”

“To Nicholas and Valerie!” the crowd echoed, raising their glasses in unison.

I stayed near the back of the gathering, blending into the sea of staff and guests as best I could, offering hors d'oeuvres to the guests who weren’t already sipping champagne. My eyes flicked to Nicholas, unwilling but unable to stop myself from watching him. His gaze swept over the crowd, searching for something — or someone.

And then his eyes locked onto mine.

The air felt like it had been sucked out of the garden. Nicholas’s gaze bore into mine, unwavering and intense, as if he could see straight through me. My heart thudded against my ribcage, and for a moment, I forgot where I was, the tray of hors d’oeuvres suddenly feeling like an anchor in my hands.

His fiancée’s voice cut through the moment. “Nic,” she said sweetly, tugging lightly on his arm. “Everyone’s waiting to hear from you.”

He blinked, breaking the connection between us, and turned his attention back to her. The crowd quieted as Nicholas stepped forward, his hand still loosely holding hers. His usual confident demeanor faltered slightly, his jaw tightening as he accepted the microphone from his mother.

“Thank you, everyone,” he began, his voice steady but with an edge I recognized — frustration, maybe even exhaustion. “It’s great to be back home, surrounded by family and friends. And, of course, with Valerie by my side as we—” His words hesitated, the pause so slight I doubted anyone else noticed. “—start this new chapter.”

The crowd clapped politely, but my focus wasn’t on them. It was on him, the way his free hand tightened into a fist at his side, the way his eyes darted back to mine for a fraction of a second before quickly shifting away.

I needed to get out of there. My fingers gripped the edge of the tray as I stepped backward, retreating toward the house. My breath came in shallow bursts, my chest tight with a mix of emotions I couldn’t even begin to sort through.

As I returned to the kitchen, my mom and Paolo were conversing, something about how she loved the food. I never told her what happened between Nicholas and I all those years ago, so when I saw her, I made sure to keep my cool in front of her.

My mom glanced up as I entered, her face lighting up with a smile. “Oh, there you are! Isn’t it such a lovely event? Mrs. Chavez really outdid herself this time.”

I forced a smile, nodding as I set the tray down on the counter. “Yeah, it’s beautiful,” I said, keeping my tone light.

Paolo raised an eyebrow, glancing between me and my mom. He grabbed another tray of appetizers and headed for the door, muttering something about keeping the guests happy.

My mom moved closer, smoothing her apron as she studied me. “You look pale, sweetheart. Have you eaten anything today?”

I shook my head quickly, waving off her concern. “I’m fine, Mom. Just a little warm out there, that’s all.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly, the way they always did when she didn’t quite believe me, but she let it go. “Well, don’t push yourself too hard, okay? You know how these events can be.”

I nodded, mumbling a quick “I won’t” before busying myself with tidying the counter. She gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before stepping back out to join the staff overseeing the buffet.

As soon as she was gone, I leaned against the counter, letting out a shaky breath. My hands still trembled slightly, and my chest felt tight, but I couldn’t afford to lose my composure. Not here, not now.

I reached for a glass of water, trying to calm myself, but the kitchen door swung open again before I could take a sip.

Paolo was back, but he wasn’t alone.

Nicholas stepped into the kitchen behind him, his presence filling the room like a storm cloud. Paolo glanced back at him, then at me, and let out a low whistle. “You know, I think I’m just gonna…find something to do outside,” he said, quickly slipping out the door and leaving us alone.

Nicholas’s gaze found mine immediately, his dark eyes locked onto me with an intensity that made my breath catch. He closed the door behind him, the sound echoing in the now-empty kitchen.

“What are you doing in here?” I asked, my voice sharper than I intended as I set the glass down with a little too much force.

“I needed to talk to you,” he said, his voice low but firm.

I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest as I took a step back. “We already talked, Nicholas. And I told you—”

“That wasn’t a conversation,” he interrupted, his tone hardening. “That was you running away.”

I froze, the words hitting a little too close to home. “I wasn’t running away,” I said defensively.

His gaze softened slightly, but the frustration still lingered. “Then stop pushing me away,” he said, taking a step closer. “You’ve been avoiding me left and right.”

“I haven’t—”

“Don’t lie to me.” His voice was quiet, but it cut through the space between us like a knife. “And it’s not just today. You’ve been avoiding me for years, (Y/N). Every time I come back here, you disappear. Every. Fucking. Time.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. What could I say? That he was right? That seeing him after everything was too much? That I didn’t trust myself to be near him?

He spoke again. “I know things are…complicated right now, but—”

“Complicated?” I snapped, my voice rising despite myself. “You’re engaged, Nicholas. She’s pregnant. That’s not complicated — that’s final.”

He flinched at the words. “It’s not as simple as you think.”

Before I could open my mouth to retort, Maria stepped into the kitchen. Nicholas and I stepped away from each other, avoiding her gaze as she awkwardly navigated through the kitchen looking for something before stepping back out.

As soon as the door clicked behind her, I opened my mouth. “Please, Nicholas,” I said, my voice firmer this time as I looked up at him. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

For a moment, he didn’t move, his dark eyes searching mine as if he could find a way to make me stay. But then he nodded, stepping back with a defeated look that broke something inside me.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly before turning and walking out the door, leaving me alone in the quiet kitchen.

I stood there for a long moment, the weight of everything crashing down on me. I fought back the tears, clutching my tummy and breathing through it.

Paolo came back into the kitchen with some empty trays in hand. I watched him pass by, the door clicking shut behind him, and let out a shaky breath. Paolo glanced over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow.

“You sure you don’t want to stab some dough?” he asked lightly, his tone laced with concern.

I let out a dry laugh, shaking my head. “No. But thanks for the offer.”

My fingers gripped the counter, willing myself to be calm. But how could I? When I would be working under the same roof as Nicholas and his pregnant fiancée? It was going to be a fucking disaster.

The next few days passed in a blur of routine and tension so thick it felt like it might snap at any moment. The estate was alive with activity, with staff rushing to accommodate the new guests while maintaining the meticulous standards Mrs. Chavez demanded. I threw myself into work, scrubbing floors, polishing silver, and reorganizing storage closets that didn’t even need it. Anything to keep my mind occupied and my interactions with Nicholas — and her — to a minimum. But it was impossible to avoid them entirely.

Every time I turned a corner, it felt like I ran into them. Her laughter echoed through the halls as she chatted with Mrs. Chavez, her heels clicking against the marble floors as she walked arm-in-arm with Nicholas to dinner or out to the garden for a stroll. She looked every bit the perfect fiancée, radiant and confident, and Nicholas played his role just as well. He smiled when she spoke, nodded when she made a joke, and rested his hand lightly on the small of her back as they walked. They were picture-perfect. But I couldn’t help noticing the cracks.

It was subtle, easy to miss if you weren’t paying attention. The way his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes when she leaned into him. The slight hesitation in his voice when he agreed with her about something trivial. The way his laugh sounded hollow whenever she told him something that was supposed to be funny. The way he glanced at me when he thought no one was looking, his expression unreadable but heavy with something I couldn’t name.

And then there was her.

She wasn’t as perfect as she appeared. She had a habit of nitpicking the staff’s work, pointing out the smallest imperfections in a way that felt more like asserting dominance than genuine concern. She constantly asked for things she didn’t really need — a different brand of water, freshly ironed pillowcases in the middle of the day — and always with a saccharine smile that didn’t quite hide the edge in her voice. She didn’t like me. That much was clear.

She didn’t say it outright, of course. She was too polished for that. But the way she watched me, the subtle digs in her words, the way she lingered just a little too long in the places I was working — it all made her feelings obvious. Still, I tried to keep my head down and focus on my job. I reminded myself that I didn’t matter to her, but the tension between us only seemed to grow.

The next crack appeared one morning, just as the estate was waking up. I was helping Paolo prep for breakfast in the kitchen — slicing fresh fruit, arranging pastries on a silver platter, and listening to his usual banter about how Americans don’t understand the value of a properly cooked egg. The rhythmic routine was almost enough to settle the nerves that had been my constant companion since Nicholas’s return.

Almost.

The door swung open, and the kitchen’s hum fell into a brief lull as Nicholas strolled in, followed closely by Valerie. His white t-shirt clung to him in a way that shouldn’t have caught my attention, but it did, and I forced my gaze back to the counter in front of me, slicing the strawberries a little too quickly.

“Morning, Paolo,” Nicholas said, his voice casual but warm. “Do you mind if we eat breakfast in here? The dining room feels… too much today.”

“Of course,” Paolo replied with a grin, always eager to play host to the family’s golden son. “Have a seat. I’ll whip up something special for you both.”

Valerie slid onto one of the stools at the kitchen island, her glossy hair still wet from a shower and tucked behind her ears. She looked effortlessly stunning, even in something as simple as a very loose-fitting tank top and yoga pants. It was infuriating how perfect she seemed, even now.

Nicholas leaned against the counter, his dark eyes scanning the spread of fresh ingredients I had sliced and diced. As I continued slicing strawberries, I could see Nicholas’s eyes flick over to me from my periphery and before he even had the chance to open his mouth, I glanced over to Valerie, who was already watching me and him. I grabbed the cutting board and turned my back to them, setting it down on the counter next to the stove and continuing my task.

“Paolo, do you have any leftover champagne from the brunch?” Valerie asked. “I’m craving a mimosa.”

I froze, the knife in my hand pausing mid-slice as the words sank in. Huh?

Paolo’s cheerful demeanor didn’t falter, though I caught the briefest flicker of surprise in his eyes from the corner of my eyes. “Ah, let me check. But, uh…” He glanced at Nicholas, then at Valerie, a question hanging unspoken in the air. “Is that…okay?”

Nicholas frowned slightly, his head tilting in confusion before realization dawned on his face. “Oh,” he said, his tone cautious as he turned to her. “Babe, you’re not supposed to drink while pregnant.”

Valerie blinked, her lips parting as if caught off guard. She recovered quickly, her laugh light and breezy. “Oh, come on, Nic. It’s just one mimosa. The doctor said a little bit of alcohol is fine, especially this early.”

Nicholas didn’t look convinced, his brow furrowing as he leaned closer to her, whispering, “Early? I thought you were almost four months.”

She waved him off with an exaggerated roll of her eyes, the movement almost theatrical. “You worry too much. It’s fine. It’s not like I’m downing tequila shots or anything.”

I kept my head down, forcing my hands to keep moving as I finished slicing the strawberries. My heart pounded in my chest, though I wasn’t entirely sure why. Paolo’s silence stretched on a beat too long before he cleared his throat and gave her a polite nod.

“Let me grab a bottle,” he said, turning toward the pantry.

Nicholas straightened, his unease lingering in his expression as he looked at her again. “I’m just saying, maybe we should check with your doctor before—”

“Nic,” she interrupted, her voice firm but still sweet. “It’s fine. Trust me.”

He hesitated, his gaze flicking to me briefly before he sighed and gave her a small nod. “Alright. If you’re sure.”

She flashed him a brilliant smile, her fingers brushing against his arm. “Thank you, baby. You’re the best.”

Paolo returned moments later with a chilled bottle of champagne, and I forced myself to focus on the fruit in front of me, pretending not to notice as he handed it over. Valerie poured herself a mimosa with practiced ease, the splash of champagne fizzing into the glass, and took a delicate sip.

Nicholas watched her, his brow still furrowed slightly, but he didn’t say anything else. He picked up a piece of toast from the platter Paolo had set out and leaned against the counter, biting into it absently.

Paolo’s eyes flicked to me, a subtle glance that told me he’d noticed it too. I gave the smallest shake of my head, silently telling him to let it go. It wasn’t our place to question her. Not yet, anyway.

“Alright, what do you want to eat, hmm?” Paolo asked Nicholas with forced cheerfulness, breaking the tension that had settled over the room.

Nicholas smiled faintly, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly as he answered. But my focus remained on Valerie, who was now casually scrolling through her phone with her mimosa in hand, looking completely unbothered.

The moment passed, the conversation shifting to lighter topics as Paolo worked his magic in the kitchen. But the knot in my stomach didn’t loosen. It stayed there, a quiet, nagging reminder that something wasn’t quite right.

I tried to shake off the unease as the morning unfolded, immersing myself in mundane tasks to keep my mind from spinning in a hundred different directions. But it was no use. The scene in the kitchen kept replaying in my head, gnawing at the edges of my thoughts like an itch I couldn’t scratch.

The thing was, her request for a mimosa wasn’t just off — it was brazen. Most women wouldn’t risk even the perception of drinking while pregnant, especially not in front of their fiancé and staff. Yet she had smiled, shrugged off Nicholas’s concerns, and taken that sip without a second thought.

Later that evening, as the sun dipped lower in the sky, I found myself outside, sweeping the stone pathway leading to the garden. The rhythmic scrape of the broom against the ground was almost meditative, drowning out the world around me. Or at least, it was until Paolo appeared, his usual jovial demeanor replaced with something more subdued.

“Hey,” he called out, his voice low as he approached. “Got a minute?”

I paused, leaning the broom against the nearby wall. “What’s up?”

He glanced over his shoulder, making sure no one else was within earshot, before stepping closer. “About this morning,” he began, his tone careful. “Did that feel…off to you?”

I hesitated, my fingers tightening around the handle of the broom. “You mean the mimosa thing?”

He nodded, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Yeah. I mean, I know it’s not my business, but…it just didn’t sit right.”

I exhaled slowly, unsure of how much to say. “It didn’t sit right with me either,” I admitted. “Maybe she’s just careless,” I suggested weakly, though I didn’t believe it myself.

Paolo shook his head, his expression unreadable. “Maybe.”

The weight of his words settled heavily between us, and for a moment, neither of us spoke. The distant sound of Nicholas’s laughter from the main house floated on the breeze, a stark contrast to the unease hanging in the air.

“Oh, my god,” I managed to speak through a fit of quiet  laughter, “I can’t believe you just said that, Nic.”

Nic and I were cuddling on the couch in the living room, laying down with our legs tangled together as we quietly watched a movie — Parasite — in our pajamas. He had his skinny arm wrapped around my waist, his hand carefully clutching my tummy so I wouldn’t fall off the edge.

It was well into the night, 2:38AM. His family was out for the weekend, my mom was too busy catching up on sleep to notice me sneaking out. He wasn’t supposed to be in the house, and neither was I; he had told his mom he’d be staying with a friend while they were gone, but he snuck us back into the estate, wanting to spend time with me.

The glow from the television flickered across the room, casting faint shadows over the walls as we lay there, cocooned in the quiet intimacy of the moment. The world outside could’ve crumbled, and I wouldn’t have noticed — not with the warmth of his body pressed against mine, his laughter rumbling softly in my ear

His laughter rumbled in his chest, warm and quiet, as he tightened his hold on me. “I’m just saying,” Nic murmured, his breath warm against my neck, “if I ever find a hidden stash of money, you’re the first person I’m calling. We’ll disappear together and live like royalty in some obscure village in Europe.”

I tilted my head back to look at him, my laughter fading into a quiet smile. “That’s the worst idea ever, Nic. We’d get caught in, like, a week.”

He smirked, his dark brown eyes gleaming with mischief. “Not if you’re the one planning the escape. You’re way too good at being sneaky.”

“Me?” I scoffed, nudging his side with my elbow. “You’re the one who snuck back into your own house like a criminal.”

He grinned, unrepentant. “What can I say? I missed you.”

The weight of his words hung between us, heavy and meaningful. My heart skipped, the warmth of his body against mine suddenly feeling too intense. I tried to play it off, rolling my eyes as I adjusted the blanket draped over us. “You’re such a sap.”

“Yeah, but you like it,” he teased, his voice dropping to a softer, more intimate tone. “Admit it, baby.”

I swallowed hard, my heart pounding at the way he said the word baby. It was a nickname he used sparingly, but every time he did, it felt like he was branding it into my skin.

“Maybe,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

He leaned closer, his lips brushing against my temple. “I knew it.”

I didn’t respond, instead focusing on the movie playing on the screen. We fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that only came after hours of talking and laughing. The room felt like its own little world, separate from the chaos of reality, the weight of his looming departure momentarily forgotten. But the heat of his gaze on me was impossible to ignore. After a moment, I felt his hand tighten slightly on my waist, his thumb brushing against the fabric of my shirt in a soothing motion.

“Maybe you could go with me,” he said after a while, his voice quieter now.

I froze, my stomach twisting at his words. I turned my head to look at him, my brows furrowing. “Nic—”

“I mean it,” he interrupted, his expression earnest. “You could leave here and come with me. You can transfer to UCLA or something.”

For a moment, I let myself imagine it — the two of us starting over in Los Angeles, far away from all the pressures and expectations that seemed to define his life here. A part of me knew better than to believe him, knew this was nothing more than a fleeting fantasy. But another part of me — the part that still clung to the idea of us, of him — couldn’t help but entertain the idea.

“Tell me what it would be like,” I said suddenly, my voice barely above a whisper.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“Our life in L.A.,” I said, opening my eyes to meet his. “If I went with you. Tell me what it would be like.”

Nic’s eyes lit up, a boyish grin spreading across his face as if he’d been waiting for me to ask. He shifted on the couch, propping himself up on his elbow so he could look down at me, his fingers still tracing soft circles on my waist.

“Okay,” he began, his voice filled with excitement, “we’d get this tiny apartment in West Hollywood. Nothing fancy, just enough space for us and, like, one really ugly couch that we’d find at a thrift store.”

I laughed softly, shaking my head. “You’d get the couch, wouldn’t you?”

“Obviously,” he said, grinning. “It’d have the worst pattern — like neon flowers or something — but it’d be ours. And we’d make it work because we’d have a killer view of the city from our fire escape.”

“Oh, so we’re hanging out on the fire escape now?” I teased, arching an eyebrow.

“Hell yeah,” he said, his voice laced with a mix of seriousness and playfulness. “We’d sit out there at night with a bottle of cheap wine — you’d drink most of it because I’m not really into wine — and we’d watch the city lights until the sun came up. And every once in a while, I’d make you listen to me practice lines for auditions.”

I snorted. “I’d probably end up being better at your lines than you.”

“You probably would,” he admitted, smirking. “But then you’d have to promise not to steal my roles.”

“No promises,” I said, my smile softening as I looked up at him. “What else?”

“Well,” he continued, his fingers brushing a stray strand of hair from my face, “you’d enroll at UCLA, and you’d absolutely crush it. You’d have this whole group of friends who’d think you were the coolest person ever. And I’d show up after my auditions and embarrass you by making dumb jokes in front of them.”

I rolled my eyes, but my chest tightened at the sincerity in his voice. “Sounds terrible.”

He laughed, the sound low and warm, and leaned closer, his forehead resting against mine. “It wouldn’t be, though,” he said softly. “It’d be perfect. Just you and me, figuring it all out together.”

For a moment, I let myself believe him. I let myself imagine waking up in a tiny, sunlit apartment, tangled in sheets that smelled like him. I imagined late-night conversations on that ugly thrift store couch, walking hand-in-hand through streets I’d never been to, and stealing kisses on a fire escape with the city buzzing around us. It was a beautiful dream, one that made my chest ache with both longing and dread.

But dreams weren’t reality.

“We can worry about all of that later,” I said quietly, breaking the spell. “Right now it’s just you and me — right here.”

Nic studied me, his dark eyes flickering with an emotion I couldn’t quite name. His hand lingered against my cheek, his thumb brushing the curve of my jaw. The air between us was heavy, charged with unspoken feelings that neither of us dared to put into words.

“Right here,” he echoed softly, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Okay.”

I leaned into his touch, letting my eyes flutter shut as I memorized the way his skin felt against mine, the warmth of his body pressed so close to me.

Nic’s hand slid from my cheek, his arm wrapping securely around my waist once more as he pulled me closer. I rested my head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was comforting, grounding in a way I hadn’t realized I needed.

For a long time, neither of us spoke. The movie played on, its plot forgotten as we soaked in the warmth of each other’s presence. Nic’s fingers absently traced patterns on my side, his touch light and soothing.

“I’ll just hide in your suitcase. No one will ever know,” I joked lightly, trying to ease the tension.

Nic let out a soft laugh, his lips quirking into a faint smile. “You’d probably get me arrested.”

“Worth it,” I teased, though my voice wavered slightly.

He tightened his hold on me, his smile fading as his expression turned serious once more. The tension between us was palpable, the moment stretching out like it was trying to make up for all the time we wouldn’t have later. I leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, trying to convey everything I couldn’t put into words. He responded immediately, his hand slipping into my hair as he deepened the kiss, pulling me impossibly closer.

I wanted to believe him, to let myself get swept away in the fantasy of us. But deep down, I knew better. He had a whole world waiting for him, a world that didn’t include late-night movie marathons and whispered promises on the couch. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to let go — not yet.

I pressed a soft kiss to his chest, letting the steady beat of his heart fill the silence between us. We both knew the truth — no matter how much we wanted to hold on to this moment, the future was already rushing toward us, unstoppable and inevitable.

But for now, we pretended it wasn’t. We pretended we had all the time in the world, cocooned in the quiet intimacy of the living room, holding on to each other as if the rest of the world didn’t exist, as if the moment would never end.

“Should we keep an eye out?” Paolo asked quietly.

I blinked, the vivid memory dissolving as Paolo’s question pulled me back to the present. The garden’s hum of distant conversation and the clinking of glasses filtered into my awareness again. I turned to him, my fingers tightening around the broom handle.

“Keep an eye out for what?” I asked, my voice softer than I intended.

Paolo tilted his head toward the house, where Nicholas and Valerie had disappeared moments ago. “For her,” he said, his tone careful. “Something’s…off, don’t you think?”

I hesitated, the question hanging heavy between us. The mimosa incident replayed in my mind, along with the countless subtle digs and sharp smiles she’d thrown my way. But I wasn’t sure how to answer Paolo without revealing more than I should.

“I don’t think it’s our business,” I said finally, my voice firm even as my chest tightened. “Whatever’s going on between them, it’s… not for us to get involved.”

Paolo studied me, his sharp eyes narrowing as if he could see straight through the lie I’d just told. His lips pressed into a thin line, and he nodded slowly. “Maybe not,” he conceded, though the doubt lingered in his tone. “But if she keeps acting like she owns the place — and if she keeps treating you like that — I might have to accidentally spill some perfume in her mimosas.”

I let out a startled laugh, the sound louder than I intended. It felt good, even if it was fleeting. “Don’t you dare, Paolo,” I said, shaking my head. “Mrs. Chavez would fire both of us on the spot.”

Paolo shrugged, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Worth it.”

I rolled my eyes, but the warmth of his humor helped chip away at the tension that had been coiled in my chest all day. I tightened my grip on the broom and turned back to the path I’d been sweeping. “Let’s just get through this week without any dramatic incidents, okay?”

Paolo didn’t respond immediately, and when he did, his voice was softer. “You know, (Y/N), you’re too good at keeping quiet. But don’t forget, not everyone deserves that kind of grace.”

His words struck a chord I didn’t want to acknowledge, so I simply nodded, keeping my focus on the broom as I swept the pathway. Paolo lingered for a moment longer before heading back toward the kitchen, whistling a cheerful tune that didn’t quite match the lingering weight of our conversation.

As I worked, the sunlight began to fade, casting long shadows across the garden. The air grew cooler, the estate slowly returned to its usual quiet, the chaotic energy of the morning giving way to a calm that felt almost eerie in its contrast.

By the time I finished my tasks and made my way back inside, the house felt empty, save for the faint murmur of voices coming from the sitting room. I didn’t need to look to know who was there. The pull of his presence was unmistakable, and I felt it in the way my heart skipped, the way my steps faltered as I passed by the open doorway.

Nicholas’s voice carried out softly, low and warm as he spoke to his mother. Valerie was there too, her laughter light and airy, perfectly timed to whatever joke he’d just made.

I paused just out of sight, my fingers brushing against the doorframe as I lingered for a moment longer than I should have. The sound of Nicholas’s voice, rich and familiar, sent a pang through my chest, the warmth of it bringing back every memory I’d tried to bury.

“Nic, tell Valerie about the time you got locked out of the house and tried to climb through the kitchen window,” Mrs. Chavez said, her voice filled with amusement. “You were what — eighteen? And had the nerve to blame Paolo for not leaving it open.”

“Oh, come on,” Nicholas said, his tone light and teasing. “Paolo swore he’d leave it open for me. And in my defense, I made it halfway through before I got stuck.”

I could picture it so vividly — Nicholas’s sheepish grin, the warmth in his eyes as he spun the story for maximum comedic effect. It was a part of him I’d always loved, the way he could charm a room without even trying. And now, watching him slip so effortlessly back into his role as the golden son, I felt a sharp ache of longing for the way things used to be.

I forced myself to move, slipping past the doorway as quietly as I could and heading for the hallway to make my way to the half-bath and have a few moments for myself before having to clock out with my mom and go home.

I closed the bathroom door behind me, locking it softly before leaning back against the cold wood. My chest heaved as I fought to regulate my breathing, the weight of the day pressing against my ribcage like an iron vice.

I couldn’t help but think about what Nicholas had told me a few days ago during the homecoming brunch, his words echoing in my mind, as clear and haunting as the memory of his touch.

“It’s not as simple as you think.”

I didn’t know what he meant. Was it an excuse? A warning? A plea? I couldn’t tell. Nicholas had always been so good at telling me exactly what I wanted to hear, but this… this felt different. There was a heaviness in his voice that lingered, gnawing at me like a question I didn’t dare ask.

I closed my eyes, letting the faint hum of the air vent fill the silence as I replayed every word, every glance, every moment of the past few days. What wasn’t simple? His engagement? Her pregnancy? Or was it… us?

I hated that my mind even went there. Hated the way my stomach flipped at the unfounded idea that he might still feel something for me. Hated that despite everything — the years, the distance, the her — I still felt tethered to him in a way that defied logic and reason. It wasn’t fair for any of us.

I pressed my palms against the cool porcelain sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed, my eyes wide and glassy. I looked like someone I didn’t recognize — someone who was still clinging to the past, hoping for something that could never be.

With a deep breath, I turned on the faucet, splashing cold water onto my face. The sharp chill jolted me out of my thoughts, grounding me in the present. I couldn’t afford to spiral, not now. Not when I still had to face him again. Not when I had to walk out of this house and pretend like I didn’t feel like I was falling apart from the inside out.

Gripping the edge of the sink, I let the water run for a moment longer, watching as it swirled down the drain. I wanted to believe it could take my feelings with it, flushing them away until there was nothing left but the professional, composed person I was supposed to be.

But the ache in my chest remained, stubborn and unrelenting.

I dried my face with a towel, smoothing down the front of my uniform as I straightened up. My reflection stared back at me, and for a moment, I almost believed the mask I was wearing. Almost.

As I unlocked the door and stepped back into the hallway, the faint murmur of voices from the sitting room reached my ears again. Nicholas’s laugh cut through the noise, warm and familiar, sending a shiver down my spine.

My mom, Paolo, and Maria approached me then.

“Ready to go?” My mom asked with a smile. I nodded my head. “Okay, let’s go say bye.”

“Sure,” I replied softly, forcing a small smile. The last thing I wanted was another moment in that sitting room, another chance for Nicholas to look at me with those unreadable dark eyes. But I nodded and followed my mom and the others down the hall, my steps heavy with reluctance.

The sitting room came into view, the golden glow of the chandelier illuminating the scene like a snapshot of perfection. Mrs. Chavez stood near the fireplace, her glass of wine held delicately in one hand as she laughed at something Nicholas had said. Valerie sat on the couch beside him, her hand resting on his knee, her expression poised and radiant.

I lingered in the doorway, letting my mom take the lead. She greeted Mrs. Chavez warmly, the two women exchanging pleasantries while Paolo and Maria offered polite smiles. I stayed a step behind them, hoping to blend into the background and avoid drawing any attention to myself, just as Valerie warned me to do all those days ago. But, of course, Nicholas’s gaze found me almost immediately.

It was as if he had some sort of radar that zeroed in on me the second I entered a room. His dark eyes softened when they landed on mine, the faintest flicker of something unspoken passing between us. I couldn’t place it — regret, longing, guilt? Maybe all of it.

I tried to look away, to focus on Mrs. Chavez’s effusive gratitude or the polite laughter of the staff. But his gaze pinned me in place, and for a moment, the room fell away. The warmth of the chandelier, the clinking of glasses, the sound of Valerie’s light laughter — they all faded, leaving only the two of us locked in a silent battle of wills.

I could see the questions in his eyes, could feel the weight of his unspoken words pressing against my chest. But I couldn’t give him anything. Not here. Not now.

“(Y/N),” Mrs. Chavez said, her voice breaking through the moment like a sharp blade. “Thank you so much for your hard work this week and being accommodating for Nicholas and Valerie their first week here. Truly, we couldn’t have done it without you.”

My lips stretched into a polite smile as I nodded. “It’s always a pleasure, Mrs. Chavez. I’m glad everything went smoothly.”

“It went better than smoothly,” Valerie chimed in, her voice saccharine sweet. “You’ve been such a big help. We’re all so lucky to have you.”

Her words dripped with false sincerity, the subtle emphasis on help making my stomach churn. She smiled at me, her eyes gleaming with something I couldn’t quite name. Possession, maybe? Control?

“Thank you,” I managed, keeping my voice steady. “I’m glad I could assist.”

My mom gave Mrs. Chavez a final warm goodbye before turning to me, her smile gentle but tired. “Ready to head home, sweetheart?”

I nodded quickly, eager to escape the suffocating tension that seemed to follow me like a shadow. “Yes, absolutely.”

“Drive safely!” Mrs. Chavez called out, her tone cheerful as we turned to leave.

“Goodnight,” Nicholas said softly, his voice so low I doubted anyone else heard it. But I did. And it was enough to send a shiver down my spine.

I didn’t turn back. I couldn’t. I followed my mom and the others out of the sitting room, keeping my head down and my pace brisk. But as we stepped out into the cool night air, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of his gaze still on me, like a ghost trailing behind.

The car ride home was quiet. My mom chatted lightly with Paolo and Maria, but I stayed silent, staring out the window as the city lights blurred into streaks of gold and white.

I pressed my forehead against the cool glass, closing my eyes as I tried to banish the thoughts. But they wouldn’t go away. They clung to me, persistent and unrelenting, like the ghost of a dream I couldn’t let go.

I wanted to hate him. I wanted to hate how easily he could unravel me with a single glance. But more than that, I wanted to hate myself for letting him. For still caring. For still hoping.

That night, long after my mom had gone to bed and the house was enveloped in an almost oppressive silence, my phone buzzed on the nightstand.

I wasn’t expecting anyone to call — least of all him. But when I saw Nicholas’s name on the screen, my stomach flipped. I hadn’t seen his name flash across my phone in over four years. He would call sporadically when he first moved to Los Angeles, but I never bothered to answer him, still hurt. But he persisted, checking up on me for over a year, but eventually those interactions petered out until they stopped completely.

My first instinct was to ignore it, to pretend I didn’t see it and let it go to voicemail. But my fingers betrayed me, and before I knew it, I was answering.

“What are you doing?” I asked without preamble, keeping my voice low as I climbed out of bed and walked over to my window to look out into the neighborhood.

“So you do answer the phone,” he said softly, the warmth of his voice disarming. It was the same tone he’d used years ago when he’d call late at night, just because he was bored or couldn’t sleep. “Did I wake you?”

I glanced at the clock. It was just past 2AM. “No,” I lied. “But you shouldn’t be calling me.”

“Why not?” he asked, a teasing lilt creeping into his tone.

“Because it’s two in the morning,” I replied, leaning against the window frame. I glanced out into the quiet street, the glow of the streetlights casting faint shadows on the pavement. “And because you shouldn’t be calling me, period.”

Nicholas chuckled softly, and I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. “God, you haven’t changed at all. Always scolding me like I’m some kind of delinquent.”

“Maybe because you were a delinquent,” I shot back. “Sneaking out, pulling pranks, climbing into windows — need I go on?”

He laughed, a low, familiar sound that made my chest ache. “Okay, fair. But you were always the one to bail me out.”

“Someone had to,” I said, crossing my arms. “Why are you calling me, Nicholas?” I asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice losing some of its playfulness. “I guess I just missed talking to you.”

The words hung between us, heavy and unspoken for so long that I wasn’t sure how to respond. Part of me wanted to hang up, to stop this before it became something I couldn’t handle. But the other part of me — the part that still remembered the way he used to make me laugh until my stomach hurt — couldn’t let go.

“You’re not allowed to miss me,” I said finally, my voice softer than I intended.

“Why not?” he asked, and there was an edge of vulnerability in his tone that made my chest tighten.

“Nic…” I started, but I didn’t know how to finish.

“Do you remember the time I snuck you into the neighborhood pool?” he asked, his voice lightening again, like he was trying to steer the conversation back to safer waters.

I laughed despite myself. “How could I forget? You almost got us arrested.”

“Almost,” he emphasized. “But we didn’t, thanks to my brilliant negotiation skills.”

“You mean your ability to look like a terrified boy who couldn’t possibly break the law?” I teased.

“Hey, whatever works,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “That was a good night.”

“It was,” I admitted, leaning against the window. “Even if you did almost get us caught.”

“See? You liked a little danger,” he said, his tone teasing again. “You just didn’t want to admit it.”

“Don’t push your luck,” I warned, though the smile on my face lingered.

We fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that only came from years of knowing someone so well. For a moment, it felt like we were back in our old pattern, like the years and the distance hadn’t changed anything.

“I missed this too,” I said softly, almost to myself.

“I knew it,” he said, his voice quiet but triumphant. “You’re not as tough as you pretend to be.”

“Go to bed, Nic,” I said, but there was no heat in my words.

“Goodnight, baby,” he said, the nickname slipping out so effortlessly that it took me a second to register it.

I froze, my heart skipping a beat, and I could hear the uncertainty on the other side of the line. I swallowed hard, my grip tightening on the phone as my mind scrambled for a response. I could feel my pulse pounding in my ears, drowning out everything else.

“Nicholas,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “You can’t… you can’t call me that anymore.”

There was a pause, the silence stretching between us like a taut wire. Then, his voice came through, soft and almost apologetic. “I’m sorry. It just slipped out.”

I pressed my forehead against the cool glass of the window, closing my eyes as the ache in my chest deepened. “Goodnight, Nicholas,” I whispered.

When he spoke again, his voice was barely audible. “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

I ended the call and stared at my phone for a long moment, the screen dark and lifeless in my hand. My reflection in the glass caught my eye, and I barely recognized the person staring back at me—eyes wide and glassy, lips pressed into a thin line, the weight of the past etched into every line of my face.

I turned away from the window and climbed back into bed, pulling the blankets up around me like they could shield me from the storm raging inside. But sleep didn’t come easily. His voice lingered in my mind, the way he’d said my name, the way he’d called me baby like nothing had changed. But everything had changed. And no amount of late-night phone calls could undo that.

Eventually, exhaustion won out, and I drifted into a restless sleep, the echoes of his voice haunting my dreams.

The following week, I arrived at the Chavez estate early, the morning sun casting long shadows across the manicured lawn. My stomach twisted with unease as I approached the staff entrance, the memory of Nicholas’s voice from our late-night phone call still fresh in my mind. I hadn’t seen him since that night, and I wasn’t sure what to expect when I did.

As I stepped into the kitchen, the familiar scent of coffee and fresh pastries greeted me, but the usual hum of morning activity was missing. The house felt quieter than usual, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

I moved through the hallways, heading toward the laundry room to drop off a stack of linens. As I passed by the library, faint voices reached my ears. I paused, instinctively slowing my steps as I recognized one of them.

Nicholas.

I couldn’t make out what he was saying at first, but his tone was low and tense. I edged closer, staying just out of sight behind the slightly ajar door. His voice grew clearer, and I caught snippets of the conversation.

“Why won’t you let me go with you?” Nicholas asked, frustration evident in his tone.

“I already told you, Nic,” Valerie replied, her voice sharp but hushed. “It’s not necessary. I can handle it on my own.”

“That’s not the point,” he said, his voice rising slightly before he caught himself. “I’m the father of that baby. I should be there with you, especially for something as important as this.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” she said smoothly, but her tone carried an edge that made me stiffen. “You’d just be sitting around for hours, and I don’t want to waste your time.”

“It’s not a waste of time,” Nicholas shot back. “You’ve been brushing me off about these appointments for weeks now. What’s going on?”

“Nothing is going on,” she insisted, her voice taking on a defensive note. “You’re overthinking this, like you always do.”

I pressed myself closer to the wall, my heart pounding in my chest. I shouldn’t be listening to this. I knew that. But I couldn’t move, couldn’t force myself to walk away.

“This isn’t just about me, Valerie,” Nicholas continued, his voice quieter but no less intense. “It’s about our baby. Don’t you get that?”

“I do,” she said, her tone softening slightly. “But you have so much on your plate already, Nic. I don’t want to add to it.”

“Stop making excuses,” he said, his voice tinged with desperation. “Valerie, if there’s something you’re not telling me…”

There was a long pause, the silence stretching out like a taut string ready to snap. When Valerie finally spoke again, her voice was icy. “You’re being ridiculous,” she said. “There’s nothing to tell, and I don’t appreciate you accusing me of hiding something.”

“I’m not accusing you,” Nicholas said, his voice heavy with frustration. “I just want to understand why you won’t let me go with you. You’re shutting me out.”

“I’m not shutting you out,” she snapped. “You’re just imagining things.”

The conversation ended abruptly as the sound of footsteps grew louder, and I realized too late that they were heading toward the door. I quickly ducked into a nearby hallway, pressing my back against the wall as I tried to calm my racing heart.

A moment later, the library door swung open, and Valerie strode out, her heels clicking against the polished floor. She didn’t notice me as she made her way down the hall, her posture stiff and unyielding. Nicholas followed a few seconds later, his expression grim as he ran a hand through his hair.

I held my breath, willing myself to stay hidden until they were both out of sight. Only when the house was quiet again did I step back into the hallway, my thoughts swirling with everything I’d just overheard.

Something was definitely wrong. And whatever it was, it wasn’t as simple as Valerie claimed.

I made my way over to the supply closet by the stairs, ready to start my day of work. A few hours later, as I moved between the kitchen and dining room setting up for lunch, I couldn’t help but notice how unusually quiet the house felt. It wasn’t just the lack of guests bustling around or the muted sounds of the staff — it was the absence of her.

Valerie had left for her doctor’s appointment shortly after the argument in the library, and the air felt lighter without her presence, though a sense of unease still lingered. Nicholas, on the other hand, seemed restless. I’d spotted him pacing the garden once or twice, his head bent as though deep in thought. Each time our paths crossed, he lingered a little too long, his dark eyes following me in a way that made it impossible to ignore him.

I ducked into the dining room, smoothing the tablecloth with careful precision and adjusting the silverware until it was perfectly aligned. But the sound of approaching footsteps made my stomach twist. I didn’t need to look up to know it was him.

“(Y/N).” His voice was soft, almost hesitant, and I froze mid-motion, my hand gripping the edge of the table.

I took a breath before turning to face him. “Yes, Nicholas?” I said, keeping my tone polite and professional, though my pulse quickened at the sight of him standing in the doorway.

His brow furrowed at my use of formality, but he didn’t call me out on it. Instead, he stepped closer, his hands shoved into his pockets. “Can we talk?”

I glanced toward the kitchen, half-expecting someone — anyone — to walk in and save me. But the doorway remained empty. I sighed, resigning myself to the inevitable. “What is it?” I asked, straightening up.

Nicholas hesitated, as though debating how much to say. Finally, he shook his head, his lips pressing into a thin line. “Something’s not right,” he muttered, more to himself than to me.

“What do you mean?” I asked cautiously, crossing my arms over my chest.

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration etched across his face. “She’s been acting… different. Evasive. I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or something else, but she won’t let me go to any of the appointments. She won’t even show me pictures of any recent ultrasounds, and she changes the subject whenever I bring it up.”

I resisted the urge to point out the obvious — you’re asking the wrong person. Instead, I kept my expression neutral, though my mind was racing with everything I’d overheard earlier.

“Nicholas,” I began, keeping my voice steady, “maybe she’s just scared. Pregnancy can be complicated.”

“Don’t defend her,” he said sharply, his gaze snapping to mine. But then his face softened, guilt flickering in his dark eyes. “I didn’t mean that. It’s just — she’s hiding something. I can feel it.”

I looked away, unsure how to respond. His voice was heavy with an unspoken plea, and it pulled at something deep inside me. But I couldn’t get involved. Not like this.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” I said, forcing my tone to remain calm. “You’re her fiancé. She should trust you enough to tell you whatever’s on her mind.”

“And what if she doesn’t?” he asked, stepping closer. His voice dropped lower, almost a whisper. “What if she’s lying to me?”

The question hung in the air between us, charged with an intensity that made my chest tighten. I searched his face, looking for some indication of what he wanted from me. Reassurance? Advice? Or something else entirely?

“That’s something only she can answer,” I said finally, my voice quiet but firm. “You need to talk to her, not me.”

His jaw clenched, frustration flashing in his eyes. “I’ve tried. She shuts me out every time.”

I hesitated, weighing my words carefully. “Maybe you need to give her time. Or maybe… you need to ask yourself why she feels like she can’t be honest with you.”

Nicholas blinked, the weight of my suggestion seeming to land heavily on him. He looked down, his shoulders sagging slightly as he exhaled. “You’re right,” he admitted, his voice barely audible. “I just… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

The vulnerability in his tone caught me off guard, and for a brief moment, I forgot about the walls I’d built between us. I reached out instinctively, my hand brushing against his arm. “You’ll figure it out, Nic,” I said softly, the nickname slipping out before I could stop it. “You always do.”

His head snapped up at the sound of his name on my lips, his gaze locking onto mine. The tension between us crackled like static electricity, and I quickly withdrew my hand, stepping back as reality crashed over me.

“I should get back to work,” I said hurriedly, avoiding his gaze as I moved toward the door.

“(Y/N), wait—”

But I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. My heart was pounding too hard, and I knew that if I stayed, I’d only end up making things worse. For both of us.

As I disappeared into the kitchen, I caught one last glimpse of him standing alone in the dining room, his expression unreadable but heavy with something I didn’t dare try to name.

Later that evening, Mrs. Chavez made a surprising announcement as the staff began cleaning up after lunch.

“Everyone, I insist you all join us for dinner tonight,” she said, her warm smile lighting up the room. “You’ve worked so hard lately, more so than usual, and I’d love for you to enjoy a meal with us as thanks for everything you do.”

Paolo shot me a curious look from across the kitchen, while my mom exchanged hesitant glances with Maria. Staff dining with the family was an unusual request, but it was hard to say no to Mrs. Chavez’s gracious invitation.

“It would be an honor, Mrs. Chavez,” my mom finally said, speaking for all of us.

By the time dinner rolled around, I was a bundle of nerves. The dining room had been transformed into an elegant yet intimate setting, with candles flickering softly on the long table. The guests were fewer now — the younger Chavez children, Mrs. Chavez and her husband, Nicholas and Valerie, and us — but the air of formality remained.

I sat between Paolo and my mom, doing my best to stay inconspicuous as the Chavez family took their seats at the head of the table. Nicholas was directly across from me, with Valerie beside him, her hand resting lightly on his arm. She looked radiant as always, her smile bright and practiced as she engaged in polite conversation with Mrs. Chavez. But I couldn’t shake the memory of Nicholas’s earlier confession.

Paolo must have sensed the tension because he leaned over, his voice low as he murmured, “Relax, (Y/N). It’s just dinner. What’s the worst that could happen?”

I managed a weak smile, but the knot in my stomach refused to loosen.

Dinner began smoothly enough. Paolo, ever the entertainer, kept the conversation light with stories of his childhood in Sicily, drawing laughter from everyone at the table — even Valerie.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to sneak a goat into my grandmother’s kitchen?” he asked, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

Mrs. Chavez chuckled. “A goat, Paolo? You must tell us the whole story.”

As Paolo launched into the tale, I stole a glance at Nicholas. He wasn’t laughing; instead, he seemed distracted, his gaze flicking toward me more often than was comfortable. I quickly looked away, focusing on cutting my steak into tiny, precise pieces. And every time I dared to look up, his dark eyes met mine, holding me captive for a fraction of a second before I forced myself to look away.

It wasn’t just the glances — it was the way he leaned back in his chair, his fingers drumming lightly against the edge of the table as though he were restless. The way his smile never quite reached his eyes when he laughed at Paolo’s story. The way his attention drifted from Valerie every time she spoke, his responses automatic and distant.

Halfway through the meal, Valerie excused herself, a delicate hand resting on Nicholas’s shoulder as she whispered something to him before standing and walking out of the dining room.

I tried to focus on Paolo’s animated story, on the ripple of laughter that followed his exaggerated hand gestures, but something about her caught my attention. After a minute or two, I excused myself from the table, muttering something about going to the bathroom. Really, I made my way over to the kitchen.

That’s when I saw her.

Valerie was standing by the counter, a crystal wine glass in hand. Her back was to me, but I could see the stiff line of her shoulders, the way her fingers trembled slightly as she raised the glass to her lips and took a long, deliberate sip.

I froze in the doorway, my breath catching in my throat. Drinking? Again?

The sound of the glass clinking against the counter jolted me back to reality. She set it down carefully, wiping her lips with a practiced swipe of her thumb before straightening her posture and turning toward the door.

I darted back into the hallway, pressing myself against the wall as she exited the kitchen and headed back to the dining room, her steps measured and composed as if nothing had happened.

My heart pounded as I replayed the scene over and over in my head. There was no mistaking what I’d just seen. She wasn’t pretending to take a sip for appearances. She was drinking — and she was doing it when she thought no one was watching.

When I finally returned to the dining room, the conversation had shifted to lighter topics. Guests were chatting over glasses of wine, their laughter filling the space with a warm hum. I slipped back into my seat beside Paolo, but my mind was racing.

As soon as the plates were cleared and the guests began drifting toward the lounge for coffee, I saw my chance to slip away, stealing a half-empty bottle of wine on the way out. My chest felt tight, my thoughts spiraling as I made my way outside, the cool night air biting against my skin.

I needed space. I needed to think.

The pool house loomed ahead, its dark silhouette offering a semblance of privacy. I ducked behind it, leaning against the rough stone wall as I pulled out the bottle I’d hidden under my jacket earlier.

The wine was lukewarm now, and the first sip burned, sharp and bitter against my tongue. I wasn’t a red wine type of person, and I didn’t really drink, but right now I didn’t care. I tipped the bottle back for another, the warmth spreading through my chest, numbing the edges of the storm swirling in my mind.

The memory of Valerie in the kitchen, the glass of wine in her hand — what the hell was she thinking? Pregnant and drinking. The audacity, the recklessness, the… everything. She was lying. But why?

I took a long sip, the burn spreading through my chest and grounding me, if only for a moment. I closed my eyes, letting the cool night air lick at my skin, trying to drown out the thousand questions buzzing in my head. But instead of clarity, a different memory crept in — one I hadn’t let myself think about in years.

“Come on, just one drink,” Nicholas had said, holding up the bottle like it was a prize he’d won. He had pulled it out from under his bed. He was embarrassed he still had to sneak alcohol into his room, even though he was just a few months shy of turning 21. “You’re in college now. It’s about time.”

“You sound like a bad after-school special,” I’d replied, sitting cross-legged on his bed, my arms folded stubbornly. 

He laughed, low and smooth, the sound curling in my stomach like smoke. “Relax, baby. It’s one drink. Not like I’m handing you a syringe.”

I rolled my eyes, though I couldn’t fight the smile tugging at my lips. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“Yeah, but I’m your favorite asshole,” he shot back, his dark eyes gleaming with mischief. “Come on. Live a little.”

The bottle in his hand was cheap — barely legal for him to buy, no doubt — but his grin was intoxicating, and God, I was too weak when it came to him.

“Fine,” I relented, snatching the bottle from him. “But if I throw up, it’s your fault.”

He plopped down beside me, his shoulder brushing mine as he handed me a mismatched mug — clearly stolen from the kitchen downstairs. “Here, princess. First taste of freedom.”

I rolled my eyes again, but the nickname sent a jolt through me that I tried to ignore. I twisted open the bottle cap as I carefully poured a splash into the mug. “Is that enough?” I quietly asked, tipping the cup toward Nicholas so he could decide.

Nic squinted at the mug, a smirk tugging at his lips. “That’s adorable. You really think that little sip is going to do anything?” He leaned over, his bare shoulder from the sleeveless shirt he was wearing pressing into mine as he grabbed the bottle and poured a more generous amount. “There. Now it’s a real drink.”

I glared at him, the scent of the alcohol already making my stomach twist. “If this tastes like shit, I’m blaming you.”

“You can blame me all you want, baby,” he said with a grin, leaning back and raising his own glass. “Cheers.”

I hesitated, staring at the mug like it might explode in my hands. Nic nudged me gently, his warm breath brushing against my ear. “Come on. Don’t make me drink alone.”

Rolling my eyes, I lifted the mug and took a small sip. The taste hit me like a punch to the throat — bitter, sharp, and completely unpleasant. I coughed, my face scrunching up in disgust as Nic burst out laughing beside me.

“Oh, my God,” he said between chuckles, his hand slapping his thigh. “Your face! Priceless.”

“You’re such an asshole,” I muttered, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “This is disgusting. How do you even drink this?”

“Practice,” he said with a shrug, tipping his own glass back and taking a long sip. He didn’t even flinch. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Not sure I want to,” I muttered, setting the mug down on the floor beside me. “Seriously, why do people drink this? It’s awful.”

Nic grinned, leaning back against the headboard, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He looked so relaxed, so effortlessly cool, and it pissed me off just a little. “Because,” he said, swirling the liquid in his glass like he was some kind of expert, “it’s not about the taste. It’s about what comes after.”

“And what’s that? Regret?”

He laughed again, the sound warm and familiar, making my stomach twist in a way that had nothing to do with the alcohol. “No, baby. It’s about the buzz. The way everything feels lighter, easier. Like nothing can touch you.”

I eyed him skeptically but couldn’t ignore the way his words tugged at something deep inside me. “Sounds like an excuse to make bad decisions.”

“Maybe,” he admitted, his gaze sliding to mine, dark and playful. “But bad decisions can be fun, you know.”

With a sigh, I picked up the mug and took another sip, bracing myself for the burn. This time, it wasn’t as bad. Still awful, but not the immediate assault on my taste buds I’d been expecting. I set the mug down again, shaking my head. Nic smirked, his gaze lingering on me in a way that made my cheeks warm.

The night blurred after that. One sip turned into another, then another, until the bottle was half-empty and I was leaning against Nic’s shoulder, giggling at something that wasn’t even funny. Everything felt fuzzy, warm, like the edges of the world had softened.

“You’re so bad at this,” Nic said, his arm draped casually around my shoulders. His voice was low and teasing, but there was something else there, something softer. “Lightweight.”

“Shut up,” I mumbled, poking his side. “I’m not bad. You’re just… good at being an alcoholic.”

He laughed, the sound vibrating through me as he pulled me closer. “I’m not an alcoholic. I’m an enthusiast.”

“Uh-huh,” I said, but I couldn’t stop smiling. My head was spinning, and my cheeks hurt from laughing so much, but I didn’t care. This was fun. Being with him like this, it was always fun.

Nic shifted beside me, his fingers brushing against my shoulder as he turned to look at me. His expression had changed, his usual smirk replaced by something more serious. “You’re really fucking cute when you’re drunk, you know that?”

I stared at him, my pulse quickening as his words sank in. The room was warm, and the alcohol had done its job, leaving me feeling weightless and a little reckless. “Stop,” I muttered, though my voice lacked any real conviction.

“I’m not kidding,” Nic said, his hand moving to my knee, his fingers brushing against my bare skin. His touch sent a jolt through me, and I hated how much I wanted him to keep going. “You’re always cute, but like this? Goddamn.”

“Nic,” I started, but he was already leaning in, his lips brushing against mine in a kiss that was hungry. My heart raced as I kissed him back, the taste of whiskey still lingering on both our lips.

The kiss deepened, turning messy and heated as his hand slid up my thigh, pulling me closer. I let out a quiet moan, my fingers threading through his stringy hair as I shifted, straddling his lap. The feel of him beneath me, hard and wanting, sent a rush of heat through my body.

“You’re driving me crazy, baby,” he murmured against my lips, his hands gripping my hips. “I’ve been thinking about this all fucking week.”

“You’re drunk,” I teased, though my own words were slurred, my head spinning from the whiskey and the way he was looking at me like I was the only thing that mattered.

“Doesn’t mean I’m lying,” he shot back, his voice low and rough. His hands slid under my shirt, his fingers grazing the sensitive skin of my waist as he pushed the fabric higher. “Take this off.”

I obeyed without thinking, pulling the shirt over my head and tossing it to the floor. His eyes darkened as they roamed over me, his hands moving to cup my bare breasts. “Fuck,” he muttered, his thumbs brushing over my nipples, sending a shiver down my spine. 

“Nic,” I gasped, my hands gripping his shoulders as his mouth moved to my neck, his teeth grazing my skin before he kissed his way down to my chest.

“You wanna know what I’ve been thinking about?” he asked, his voice muffled against my skin. His hands moved to the waistband of my shorts, tugging them down along with my underwear in one swift motion. “This.” He shifted, laying back against the pillows and pulling me with him. “Come here,” he said, his hands guiding me until I was hovering over his face. My heart pounded, the mix of nerves and anticipation making my head spin.

“Nic, what are you—” I started, but his hands gripped my hips firmly, his dark eyes locking onto mine.

“Trust me,” he said, his voice low and rough. “Let me have you like this.”

The way he looked at me, the hunger and heat in his gaze, made it impossible to argue. My breath caught as his hands guided me down, my thighs trembling as they settled on either side of his face.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he muttered, his fingers digging into my hips as he pulled me closer. And then his mouth was on me, hot and demanding, and the world tilted on its axis.

I gasped, my fingers curling into his hair for balance as his tongue moved against me with an intensity that made my head spin. The sensation was overwhelming, his stubble scratching against my thighs as he held me in place, his grip possessive and unrelenting.

“Nic,” I whimpered, my voice breaking as his tongue found a rhythm that had me arching against him, my body trembling under his touch. The alcohol in my system made everything feel heightened, every brush of his lips, every flick of his tongue sending sparks of heat racing through me.

“Fuck, you taste so good,” he murmured, his voice muffled but no less desperate. “You always do.”

His hands slid up to my waist, holding me steady as I began to rock against him, my movements uncoordinated and fueled by pure instinct. The feeling was almost too much, the pressure building low in my stomach with every stroke of his tongue. I leaned forward, bracing myself on the headboard as I chased the release that was just out of reach.

“That’s it, baby,” he encouraged, his voice low and thick. “Use me. Take what you need.”

His words sent a shiver down my spine, the heat pooling between my legs growing unbearable. I moved faster, my breaths coming in short, shallow gasps as the pleasure built to a fever pitch.

“Nic, I—” My voice broke, my body trembling as the tension snapped, a wave of pleasure crashing over me so intensely it left me shaking. He didn’t stop, his mouth and hands guiding me through every aftershock until I was too sensitive to move.

When I finally sat limp over him, he guided me down, his lips pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses against my thighs as I tried to catch my breath. “You’re fucking amazing,” he muttered, his voice low and raspy as he pulled me closer, his hands sliding up my back.

“Shut up,” I mumbled, my face buried in his chest as the aftershocks rippled through me. My heart was racing, my skin flushed and damp, but he just chuckled, his hands tracing lazy circles along my spine.

“I mean it,” he said, his voice softer now, almost tender. He tilted my chin up, his dark eyes meeting mine. “You’re perfect.”

I fell beside him, my body still trembling, he looked at me with a smug grin, his mouth and nose glistening. “That good enough for you?” he teased, his voice rough, his dark eyes gleaming with satisfaction.

“Shut up,” I muttered, my cheeks burning, but I couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at my lips.

Nic chuckled, leaning over to kiss me, his mouth hot and insistent, and I could taste myself on his lips. His hands roamed my body, reigniting the fire that had barely subsided as he pressed me back against the pillows.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he murmured, his voice low and full of promise.

I shivered, my pulse quickening as I looked up at him, his hair messy, his chest heaving, and his dark eyes fixed on me like I was the only thing that mattered. The tension crackled between us, the air heavy with the smell of sweat and alcohol and the undeniable pull of desire.

“Then show me,” I whispered, my voice barely audible, but he heard me.

And he did.

Nic didn’t hesitate, his lips crashing into mine as he hovered over me, his body pressing me into the mattress. His hands roamed my skin, rough and desperate, like he couldn’t get enough of me. He bit my lower lip gently before kissing down my neck, leaving a trail of heat in his wake. My heart pounded in my chest, the mixture of lust and whiskey making everything more intense, more raw.

“You drive me fucking insane, you know that?” he muttered, his voice muffled against my skin. His teeth grazed the sensitive spot just below my ear, and I gasped, arching into him.

“Nic—” His name slipped out in a breathless moan, my fingers digging into his shoulders as his hand slid between us, teasing, testing. I was already slick and ready for him, and the groan that rumbled from his chest made my stomach clench.

“You’re so wet,” he said, his voice a mix of awe and need.

I couldn’t think, couldn’t form a coherent response as he pushed his fingers inside me, his movements slow and deliberate. My hips bucked against his hand, desperate for more, and he obliged, curling his fingers just right. I gasped, my back arching as he leaned down to capture my lips in a messy, heated kiss.

“Tell me what you want,” he murmured against my lips, his voice low and commanding. His dark eyes bored into mine, filled with lust and something deeper that I couldn’t name.

“You,” I said, my voice trembling but certain.

His smirk was equal parts cocky and devastatingly sexy. “Then take me,” he said, pulling back just enough to shed the last of his clothes. His body was all sharp lines and hard muscle, and the way he looked at me — like I was the only thing he needed — made my breath hitch.

He settled back against the pillows, his hands on my thighs as he pulled me on top of him. “Ride me, baby,” he said, his voice rough and full of heat. “I wanna watch you.” Before I could respond, he kissed me, slow and deep, his hands sliding down to cup my ass as he pulled me against him. I could feel him, hard and ready beneath me.

My cheeks burned, but the alcohol buzzing through my veins gave me the confidence to do as he said. I sank down onto him slowly, both of us moaning as he filled me completely. The stretch was perfect, the burn grounding me as I adjusted to the feeling of him inside me.

“Goddamn, (Y/N),” he groaned, his hands gripping my hips tightly. “You feel so fucking good, baby. Every time. You feel like heaven.”

I didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer. My hands braced against his chest as I moved, slow at first, then faster, the friction sending sparks of pleasure through me with every roll of my hips. His hands roamed my body, his fingers digging into my skin as he guided my movements, his eyes never leaving mine.

The sensation was overwhelming, every nerve ending on fire as I rolled my hips, drawing moans from both of us. Nic’s head fell back against the pillows, his eyes dark and hooded as he watched me.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, his hands sliding up my sides to cup my breasts, his thumbs brushing over my nipples. “I could watch you like this all night.”

His words sent a shiver down my spine, and I leaned forward, my hands braced on his chest as I quickened my pace. The angle made him hit deeper, and I cried out, my nails digging into his skin.

“God, Nic—” I couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t do anything but lose myself in him, in the way he felt, the way he looked at me like I was his entire world.

“That’s it,” he said, his voice tight as his hands gripped my hips, meeting my movements with his own. “Fuck, you’re perfect.”

The tension coiled tighter and tighter, and I knew I was close. “I—Nic, I can’t—”

“Yes, you can,” he said, his voice firm but full of heat. “Come on, baby. Let go.”

His words pushed me over the edge, my body tensing as pleasure crashed over me in waves. I cried out his name, my nails raking down his chest as I came undone. He followed moments later, his grip on me tightening as he thrust up into me one last time, his groan low and guttural.

For a moment, neither of us moved, our bodies tangled and slick with sweat, our breaths mingling in the quiet aftermath. Then Nic pulled me down to lie against his chest, his arms wrapping around me as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

“Bad decision, huh?” He asked with a lazy grin.

I let out a breathless laugh, my cheek pressed against his chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. “The worst.”

“Good,” Nic tilted my chin up with his fingers, his dark eyes locking onto mine, still soft with lingering warmth and satiation, “I like being your worst decision.”

The sound of footsteps crunching against the gravel snapped me out of my thoughts. My heart leapt into my throat, and I pressed myself closer to the wall, willing whoever it was to pass by without noticing me. But then I heard his voice.

“(Y/N)?”

I closed my eyes, letting out a shaky breath. Of course, it was him.

The footsteps grew louder until Nicholas appeared around the corner, his tall frame backlit by the faint glow of the pool lights. His dark eyes locked onto mine, and for a moment, neither of us spoke.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked, his voice low but not unkind.

I hesitated, my fingers tightening around the neck of the wine bottle I still held. “Just thinking,” I said quietly, my voice steadier than I expected. “What are you doing out here?”

Nic stepped closer, his gaze flicking to the bottle in my hand before meeting my eyes again. “Looking for you,” he admitted, his tone softer now. “You left dinner pretty fast.”

“Not much of a coffee person,” I said, forcing a wry smile. My heart was racing, and I hated how easily he could unsettle me just by standing there.

He took another step closer, his hands shoved into the pockets of his slacks. “You okay?” he asked, his voice gentle

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I replied, my defenses snapping into place. I turned away from him, leaning against the wall and taking another sip from the bottle. The wine was still terrible, but it gave me something to focus on that wasn’t him.

Nic took a step closer, closing the distance between us until he was standing right in front of me. “Something happened at dinner. Talk to me,” he said softly, his hand reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair from my face. His touch was light, tentative, but it sent a shiver through me all the same.

I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way his touch lingered like a brand on my skin. “Nothing happened,” I said, my voice sharper than I intended. I turned my face away, refusing to meet his gaze.

“Bullshit,” Nic said, his voice dropping lower, rougher. He stepped closer, his body just inches from mine. “I know you, baby. You don’t just disappear like that for no reason.”

The nickname cut through me like a knife, and I hated how it made my heart clench despite everything. “I told you not to call me that,” I muttered, my voice trembling slightly as I pushed away from the wall. I couldn’t stay still, couldn’t let him corner me like this.

His jaw clenched, the muscle ticking as he exhaled sharply. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “I just—” He broke off, running a hand through his hair as he looked away, his frustration evident.

“You just what?” I asked, my voice rising slightly. The wine was making me bold, and I hated how much I wanted an answer. “Why did you come out here, Nic? Why do you keep cornering me? What do you want from me?”

“I don’t know!” he snapped, his voice rough with emotion. He took a step back, his hands raking through his hair again as he paced. “Fuck, (Y/N), I don’t know. I just… I saw you leave, and I couldn’t stay in there knowing you were out here alone.”

I stared at him, his words settling heavily between us. He stopped pacing, turning to face me again, his dark eyes filled with something I couldn’t name.

“I miss you,” he said finally, his voice soft but filled with a raw honesty that made my chest ache. “I know I shouldn’t say it, but I do. And seeing you again, seeing you like this… it’s fucking killing me.”

My breath caught, and for a moment, I didn’t know what to say. The weight of his words, the way he was looking at me — it was too much, and not enough all at once. He was jeopardizing his life over something he didn’t know… that’s killing me.

I gripped the bottle tighter, using it to anchor myself as his words settled like a storm in my chest. My pulse raced, my thoughts a chaotic tangle of anger, longing, and the memories I’d been trying so hard to suppress.

“You’re fucking killing me, too,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. The words tumbled out, raw and unfiltered, and I hated the way my voice cracked. “Do you think this is easy for me? Seeing you, hearing you say things like that, when you—” My voice broke, and I shook my head, swallowing hard. “You don’t get to miss me, Nic. You don’t get to do this.”

His expression shifted, the vulnerability giving way to something darker, sharper. “Why not?” he asked, stepping closer, his voice low and intense. “Why the fuck not? You think I wanted this? To be here with all this shit between us?”

“You chose this!” I snapped, my voice rising. “You chose this, Nic. You chose her, you chose your life, your future, and now you want to act like you didn’t? Like it wasn’t a choice?”

He flinched like I’d slapped him, but he didn’t back down. “I didn’t choose her,” he said, shaking his head. “I—“ his voice cracked. “I wanted to break up with her; I didn’t like being with her. Next thing I know, she’s pregnant, and I didn’t want to be someone who ran away like a coward, so…” he trailed off.

“…so you stayed,” I finished for him, my voice trembling with anger and something deeper, something raw and aching. “You stayed because it was the right thing to do. And that’s great, Nic. That’s really noble of you. But don’t come here, looking at me like this, saying things like that, and act like I’m the one who doesn’t get it.”

He stared at me, his jaw tight, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “You think I don’t know how fucked up this is?” he said, his voice low and rough. “You think I don’t hate myself for this? For hurting you? For—”

“Stop,” I interrupted, my voice sharp. “Don’t. Don’t say it.”

His mouth snapped shut, his chest heaving as he stared at me. The silence between us was thick and suffocating, filled with all the things we weren’t saying.

I turned away, pacing a few steps to put some distance between us. The cool night air bit at my skin, but it did nothing to quell the heat coursing through me, the anger and the longing and the sheer exhaustion of feeling everything all at once.

“You don’t get to come back into my life and act like you still have a place here,” I said, my back to him. “You don’t get to miss me. You don’t get to look at me like you—”

“Like I what?” he cut in, his voice rising as he stepped closer. “Like I still love you?”

I froze, the words hitting me like a punch to the gut. My breath caught, my pulse pounding in my ears as I turned to face him. “You don’t mean that,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “You can’t mean that.”

His dark eyes burned into mine, raw and unguarded in a way I hadn’t seen in years. “I mean every fucking word,” he said, his voice low but steady. “I’ve tried to stop. God, (Y/N), I’ve tried. But I can’t. I love you, and it’s fucking killing me because I know I don’t deserve you. I know I  fucked everything up back then. But I can’t—” His voice broke, and he looked away, his hands raking through his hair. “I can’t stop.”

The air between us felt heavy, charged with the weight of everything he’d just said. I wanted to scream at him, to hit him, to tell him how unfair it was for him to say these things when I’d spent years trying to move on, trying to forget the way he made me feel.

But more than that, I wanted to kiss him. To pull him close and let myself drown in the way he looked at me, the way he made me feel like the center of his universe even when I knew I shouldn’t be.

“You’re such an asshole,” I said finally, my voice shaking.

He let out a breathless laugh, his gaze snapping back to mine. “Yeah,” he said, his lips twitching into a faint, humorless smile. “I am. But I’m your asshole.”

I hated him for that. For the way he could still make me want him, even now, even when everything was so fucked up.

“You don’t get to say that,” I said, my voice trembling as I took a step closer, my chest heaving with the weight of everything I was feeling. “You don’t get to—”

But before I could finish, he closed the distance between us, his hands cupping my face as his lips crashed into mine.

It was messy and desperate and everything I’d been trying to resist since the moment I saw him again. His hands tangled in my hair, pulling me closer as my own hands fisted in his shirt, clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping me grounded.

“You’re killing me,” I whispered against his lips, my voice breaking as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

“I know,” he murmured, his breath hot against my skin. “But I can’t stop. I can’t stay away from you.”

I didn’t know who moved first, but suddenly his hands were on my waist, lifting me onto the edge of the low stone wall behind us. My legs wrapped around his hips instinctively, pulling him closer as his mouth trailed down my neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there.

“Nic,” I gasped, my fingers threading through his hair as he pressed kisses along my collarbone, his hands gripping my thighs tightly.

“I need you,” he said, his voice low and raw as he looked up at me, his dark eyes filled with a desperation that mirrored my own. “Tell me you want this. Tell me you want me.”

“I—” The words caught in my throat, my breath shallow and ragged as I stared down at him. His face was inches from mine, his lips parted, his dark eyes filled with raw vulnerability that cut through every ounce of resistance I’d tried to muster. “I want you,” I whispered, the confession tumbling out before I could stop it.

The second the words left my mouth, his lips were on mine, hot and demanding, like he was trying to claim every unspoken feeling we’d ever shared. His hands gripped my hips, pulling me flush against him, and I gasped, my fingers fisting in his hair as his mouth moved to my neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his breath hot against my collarbone as his hands slid under my shirt, his fingers grazing the bare skin of my waist. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.”

I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but let myself get lost in him. My head tilted back, giving him access to my neck as his lips trailed down.

“This is so fucked up,” I breathed, my voice trembling as his mouth found the curve of my shoulder.

My hands fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, desperate to feel him, to erase the space between us. He shrugged it off, and my breath hitched at the sight of him, all sharp lines and smooth skin, his muscles flexing as he reached for me.

I hadn’t seen him like this since he was 20. His body was leaner back then, but now he was all hard lines and tension, every golden muscle defined with bulging veins. My hands moved instinctively, tracing the contours of his chest, the smooth expanse of his skin sending a rush of heat through me. He was huge, in every sense of the word. The sight of him now, so much older, broader, and undeniably magnetic, made my head spin. 25 looked amazing on him.

His hands were on my hips again, pulling me toward him as he kissed me with a raw, desperate hunger that made my knees weak. Every touch, every sound, every breath between us felt charged, like the culmination of years of tension finally snapping.

“I can’t believe I ever let you go,” Nicholas muttered against my lips, his voice low and rough.

He stilled for a moment, his eyes darting between both of mine as if he was convincing himself that this was really happening. He then crouched down to collect his shirt from the floor and wrapped his hands around my thighs, lifting me effortlessly and making his way to the door of the pool house.

The cool night air rushed over me as Nicholas carried me, his grip firm but careful, his shirt draped haphazardly over one of my legs. My arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, my heart pounding so hard I could barely hear anything else. The faint sound of crickets in the distance mingled with the muffled hum of the estate behind us, but all I could focus on was him — the heat of his skin, the tension in his jaw, the way his fingers pressed into my thighs.

When he reached the door of the pool house, he nudged it open with his shoulder, stepping inside and kicking it shut behind him. The room was dimly lit, the faint glow of a single lamp casting long shadows across the space. The scent of chlorine lingered faintly in the air, mixing with the heady musk of sweat and desire.

Nicholas set me down on the edge of the couch, his hands lingering on my hips as he knelt between my legs, his dark eyes meeting mine with a heat that sent a shiver down my spine.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about this,” he said, his voice low and rough, his fingers brushing against the bare skin of my thighs. “How many times I’ve wished I could take it all back. Every mistake. Every second I wasted away from you.”

I swallowed hard, my throat tightening at the raw emotion in his voice. “Nic,” I started, but he cut me off with a kiss, his lips crashing into mine with a desperation that left me breathless.

“Don’t,” he murmured against my lips, his hands sliding up to cup my face. “Don’t say anything. Just let me—let me have this.”

I couldn’t argue, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but let him consume me. His hands roamed my body, rough and urgent, as though he was trying to memorize every inch of me. My own hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as his lips moved to my neck, his teeth grazing my skin and sending a jolt of electricity straight through me.

His hands slipped under my shirt, tugging it upward until I lifted my arms, letting him pull it over my head and toss it to the floor. His gaze raked over me, his breath hitching as his hands moved to the clasp of my bra. “God, you’re so perfect,” he said, his fingers trembling slightly as he unhooked it and slid the straps down my arms.

I gasped as the cool air hit my skin, followed by the heat of his mouth as he leaned forward, his lips brushing against the curve of my breast. His hands gripped my waist, pulling me closer as he kissed his way down, his tongue flicking over my nipple and drawing a quiet moan from my lips.

“Nic,” I whimpered, my fingers digging into his shoulders as he worked his way lower, his lips leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

Nicholas’s hands gripped my hips firmly as his mouth continued its path downward, his lips and tongue leaving no inch of skin untouched. The heat between us was unbearable, a storm we could no longer hold back, and the weight of every unspoken word, every stolen glance, every moment of longing, exploded in this moment.

His fingers worked at the waistband of my shorts, his eyes locking onto mine as he tugged them down, taking my underwear with them. His eyes widened, almost as if he couldn’t believe the way I looked now. He hadn’t seen me like this since I was 18; I was 23 now. The years that had passed between us felt both like a lifetime and an instant as Nicholas’s gaze lingered on me.

His breath hitched, his chest rising and falling with the intensity of the moment. “Fuck, (Y/N),” he muttered under his breath, his voice rough, his hands trembling slightly as they slid up my thighs. “You’re even more beautiful now, baby.”

I swallowed hard, my chest rising and falling as his words washed over me. The way he looked at me — like he couldn’t believe I was real, like he couldn’t believe I was here — sent a rush of heat through me that had nothing to do with the alcohol still buzzing in my veins.

“You keep saying that,” I whispered, my voice trembling.

“And I’ll say it again,” he murmured, leaning in to press a slow, open-mouthed kiss to my inner thigh. “Every chance I get.”

His hands slid higher, gripping my hips as his lips moved closer, the heat of his breath sending shivers up my spine. I reached down, tangling my fingers in his hair and pulling him closer. His dark eyes met mine, the raw hunger there making my stomach clench, his lips quirking into a smirk that was both cocky and devastatingly sexy.

And then his mouth was on me.

The first stroke of his tongue sent a jolt of pleasure through me so intense it made my toes curl. My head fell back against the cushions, a gasp escaping my lips as he worked me with a precision that left me breathless. His hands gripped my thighs, holding me in place as his tongue teased and tasted, his stubble scratching against my skin in a way that only added to the fire coursing through me.

“Fuck, Nic,” I whimpered, my hands fisting in his hair as my hips bucked against his mouth.

His grip on my thighs tightened, pinning me firmly against the couch as he buried his face between my legs, his tongue moving with an urgency that made my entire body tremble. “Stay still,” he growled, his voice muffled but commanding. “Let me take care of you.”

The sound of his voice sent a fresh wave of heat through me, and I tried to obey, though every nerve in my body screamed for more. His tongue flicked over me in deliberate, agonizing strokes, his lips closing around the most sensitive part of me and sucking just hard enough to make my hips jerk.

“God, Nic, please,” I gasped, my voice high and breathless. I shook my head, curling my fingers around his short hair, “No. I need you inside me, Nic.”

Nicholas stilled for a moment, his dark eyes lifting to meet mine as his lips curled into a smirk, his chin and mouth glistening from his work. My chest was heaving, my body trembling under the weight of his gaze and the fire he’d already ignited within me.

He let out a low chuckle, the sound vibrating through me as he pressed one last kiss to my thigh before sitting back on his heels. “Anything for you, baby,” he said, his voice dripping with heat.

Nicholas stood, his body towering over me as he unbuckled his belt and pulled it free in one swift motion. The clink of the metal and the soft rustle of fabric as he shucked off his slacks and boxers sent another rush of heat through me. My breath caught at the sight of him, every inch of him perfect, from the hard lines of his abs to the thighs the size of tree trunks to the sheer size of him, thick and ready.

“Goddamn, Nic,” I murmured, unable to tear my eyes away. He was beautiful, all sharp angles and raw power, and the way he looked at me, like he was about to devour me, made my pulse race.

“Eyes up here, baby,” he said, his tone laced with amusement as he stepped closer, gripping my thighs and pulling me to the edge of the couch.

My cheeks burned, but I met his gaze, the intensity in his dark eyes making it impossible to look away. He leaned down, capturing my lips in a bruising kiss as he positioned himself at my entrance. The heat of him against me sent a shiver down my spine, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer. My hands cupped his face as I pulled him in for another kiss.

With one smooth thrust, he pushed inside me, filling me completely. I cried out, my head falling back as he stilled, giving me a moment to adjust. The stretch was perfect, just as it was all those years ago.

“Fuck, you’re better than heaven, baby,” he groaned, his forehead resting against mine as his hands gripped my hips. “Even better than I remember.”

I whimpered, my nails digging into his shoulders as I tried to catch my breath. “Fuck me,” I demanded, my voice shaky but firm. “Please, Nic. I need you to fuck me.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. His hips pulled back before thrusting forward again, setting a rhythm that was slow and deliberate at first, every movement calculated to drive me insane. But as the tension between us built, his pace quickened, his thrusts growing rougher, deeper, until the sound of our bodies colliding echoed through the room.

“(Y/N),” he growled, his hands gripping my hips so tightly I was sure there would be bruises. “I was made for you, baby. Nobody else. Just you.”

The words sent a shiver down my spine, the raw intensity in his voice carving through every thought, every inhibition I had left. “Just me,” I whispered, my nails raking down his back as I clung to him, my body arching to meet each of his thrusts. I clung to him, my fingers digging into his back as I let myself drown in him — the way he filled me, the way he consumed me, the way he owned me.

“Say it,” Nicholas demanded, his lips brushing against my ear as he buried himself inside me again, deeper this time, the stretch and fullness stealing the air from my lungs. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” I gasped, the confession tumbling from my lips before I could stop it. The truth of it, the undeniable gravity of what he meant to me, hit me like a tidal wave, leaving me raw and exposed. “Always yours.”

“Shit,” he growled, his movements growing erratic as he pulled me impossibly closer, his hands gripping my thighs like he was afraid I’d disappear. “You don’t know what you do to me, baby. You’re in my fucking blood.”

I gasped, my voice trembling as he shifted, lifting one of my legs over his shoulder to hit even deeper. The angle made me cry out, my nails raking down his back as he pounded into me with a desperation that matched my own. “Oh, my God, right there—fuck, don’t stop!”

“Not a chance, baby,” he growled, his voice rough and full of promise. His dark eyes locked onto mine, his gaze so intense it made my head spin. “You’re mine, (Y/N). Always have been. Always fucking will be.”

My head fell back, a moan ripping from my throat as he hit a spot inside me that sent stars exploding behind my eyes. The tension in my stomach coiled tighter, every nerve ending on fire as he drove me closer and closer to the edge. 

“I’m so close,” I whimpered, my voice breaking as I clawed at his shoulders, desperate for release. “Nic, I—”

“Let go,” he urged, his voice low and commanding, his dark eyes locking onto mine. “Come for me, baby. I wanna feel you.”

The way he looked at me, like I was the only thing that mattered, sent me spiraling. The tension snapped, pleasure crashing over me in waves so intense I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but scream his name. My body trembled, every muscle tightening as the orgasm ripped through me, leaving me raw and undone.

“Jesus Christ,” Nicholas groaned, his grip on me tightening as my walls clenched around him, pulling him deeper. He thrust into me once, twice more, before his own release hit, a guttural moan tearing from his throat as he spilled inside me, filling me completely until it dripped and pooled around us.

The room fell silent except for the sound of our ragged breathing and the hum of the pool filter just outside, the heat of our bodies mingling as we clung to each other in the aftermath. Nicholas didn’t move, his arms wrapped tightly around me as though letting go wasn’t an option. My heart was pounding, each beat echoing in my ears as the weight of what just happened started to settle over me.

He pressed his forehead against mine, his breath still uneven as he whispered, “Fuck, (Y/N)… You wreck me.”

I let out a shaky laugh, my fingers tracing the muscles in his back, slick with sweat. “I think we just wrecked each other.”

He chuckled softly, the sound low and warm, vibrating through his chest. “I missed this,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, almost vulnerable. “I missed you.”

My chest tightened at the raw honesty in his words, and for a moment, I didn’t know what to say. The truth was, I’d missed him too — every part of him, every look, every touch. But I wasn’t sure how to say that without unraveling completely.

Instead, I let my fingers trail up to his face, cupping his jaw as I tilted his head so I could meet his gaze. His dark brown eyes searched mine, the intensity there enough to make my pulse quicken all over again. “This can’t happen again,” I whispered, though even as the words left my mouth, I knew they weren’t true.

His jaw clenched, and for a moment, he looked like he wanted to argue. But then he leaned down, brushing his lips against mine in a kiss so tender it made my heart ache. “We both know that’s a lie,” he murmured against my lips, his hands sliding up my sides to cradle me against him. “Because the second I get another chance, I’m taking it.”

“Nic—” I started, but he silenced me with another kiss, this one deeper, hungrier, reigniting the fire between us.

“Let me stay here with you,” he murmured, his lips moving against mine as his hands explored my body again. “Just for tonight. No bullshit. No reality. Just us.”

His sincerity made my heart clench, but that obviously couldn’t happen. I cupped my hand in his face and kissed the apple of his cheek, “As much as I want to, you know I can’t. My mom is back in there drinking coffee with your mom and your fiancée. They’ll all know something’s going on.”

Nicholas let out a frustrated sigh, his forehead falling to rest against mine. His breath was warm, his fingers tracing idle patterns on my back as though he was trying to memorize me in the short time we had left.

“I know,” he muttered, his voice rough with emotion. “I hate that I can’t just keep you here. That I can’t—” He broke off, his hands tightening on my waist.

I smiled weakly, brushing my thumb across his cheek. “I don’t like it either.”

He leaned into my touch for a fleeting moment before stepping back, his hands trailing down my sides as if he couldn’t quite bring himself to let go. The loss of his warmth made my chest ache, but I forced myself to focus on the bigger picture. On the consequences.

Nicholas raked a hand through his messy hair, his fingers tugging at the strands in frustration. “This isn’t over,” he said finally, his voice firm despite the heaviness in the room. “You and me, baby. We’re not over.”

I swallowed hard, my throat tight as I nodded. “I know.”

His lips twitched into a faint, humorless smile, and for a moment, we just stood there, the air between us charged with everything we couldn’t say. Finally, Nicholas reached for his discarded shirt, pulling it on with a kind of resignation that made my chest tighten all over again.

“I’ll go out first,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost resigned. “You wait a few minutes, then head back.”

I nodded, watching as he buttoned his shirt and slipped into his briefs and slacks with steady hands, though his dark eyes kept flicking back to me like he couldn’t quite look away. When he was finished, he paused, his fingers lingering on the zipper as he took a deep breath.

“(Y/N),” he said, his voice soft but insistent.

I looked up at him, my heart pounding as his gaze locked onto mine.

“I’m serious,” he said, stepping closer and cupping my face in his hands. “This isn’t the end. I don’t care how fucked up everything is right now — I’ll figure it out. I’ll fix it. Just… don’t give up on me. On us.”

I blinked, the weight of his words settling heavily in my chest. “Nic…”

“Promise me,” he urged, his thumbs brushing over my cheeks. “Promise me you won’t give up.”

I hesitated for only a moment before nodding, my voice barely a whisper. “I promise.”

The relief that washed over his face was almost enough to break me, but before I could dwell on it, he leaned down, pressing one last kiss to my lips. It was slow and lingering, filled with a desperation that made my heart ache.

When he pulled away, his dark eyes lingered on mine for a beat longer before he turned and walked to the door. He paused with his hand on the handle, glancing back at me one last time.

“I’ll see you soon,” he said, his voice low and full of promise.

And then he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him and leaving me alone with the echoes of his words and the weight of what we’d just done.

The silence of the pool house pressed down on me like a heavy blanket, the faint hum of the pool filter outside the only sound breaking through the quiet. My legs felt weak, my body trembling as I stood there, staring at the door he’d just walked through.

The faint scent of him lingered in the room — woodsy cologne mixed with sweat and desire — and it wrapped around me, pulling me back into the moment we’d just shared. I shook my head, trying to clear it, to push the memory to the back of my mind.

I pulled on my discarded clothes with shaking hands, the fabric sticking to my damp skin. Each movement felt heavier, slower, like my body was resisting the return to reality. My fingers fumbled with the zipper of my uniform, and I let out a frustrated sigh, finally managing to pull it up.

I closed my eyes, my head falling into my hands as a wave of guilt and longing washed over me. I shouldn’t have promised him anything. I shouldn’t have let him kiss me, touch me, pull me back into his orbit. But God help me, I didn’t know how to resist him. I never had.

The sound of laughter drifted in from the main house, sharp and distant, a reminder of the world waiting for me beyond the walls of the pool house. I needed to pull myself together, to put on a brave face and pretend like nothing had happened.

Rising to my feet, I adjusted my clothes, smoothing down my dress and running my fingers through my hair in a half-hearted attempt to fix the damage. My reflection in the glass of the pool house door caught my eye, and I froze, staring at the woman looking back at me.

She looked like a stranger — her cheeks flushed, her eyes too bright, her lips swollen from kisses that shouldn’t have happened. A part of me hated her for being so weak, so reckless. But another part, a quieter, more dangerous part, understood her too well. She was me. And no matter how much I wanted to deny it, I wasn’t done with Nicholas Chavez. Not yet.

I sighed, forcing my gaze away from the reflection and toward the glowing lights of the main house in the distance. Each step back felt heavier than the last, the weight of my choices pressing down on me like a lead blanket.

When I reached the patio, the sound of laughter and clinking glasses grew louder, the warm glow of the house spilling out into the cool night. I hesitated, my hand hovering over the handle of the French door, my heart pounding in my chest. I can do this.

I inhaled deeply, steadying myself before pushing the door open. The hum of conversation greeted me, a stark contrast to the silence of the pool house. I slipped inside, my head down, hoping to blend into the crowd unnoticed.

“(Y/N)!” My mother’s voice rang out, bright and cheery. “There you are, sweetie. We were just about to send Paolo to look for you.”

I plastered on a smile, forcing my voice to sound steady as I replied, “Just needed some air. Ready to go home?”

My mom tilted her head, her sharp eyes narrowing ever so slightly as she scanned my face. “You’ve been outside all this time? You’re flushed, honey.”

“I’m fine,” I said quickly, brushing a stray hair out of my face. “It’s just the wine. And maybe the fireplace — it’s blazing in here.”

She didn’t look convinced, but before she could press the issue, Paolo chimed in. “We’re all ready when you are, cara mia.” His warm smile felt like a lifeline, grounding me in the present. “Maria’s already gathering her things.”

“Perfect,” I said, returning his smile, though it felt thin, strained. I turned toward the lounge, catching sight of Maria chatting animatedly with one of the other guests. She glanced up as I approached, her eyes brightening.

“Are we leaving?” Maria asked, her expression shifting into a polite but eager readiness. “I think I’ve charmed enough people for one evening.”

I laughed lightly, nodding. “Let’s head out before they ask for your secrets.”

As we moved toward the door, I felt Nicholas’s gaze on me before I saw him. He was standing near his fiancée as she spoke to another guest, his arms carefully clasped behind him as if he didn’t want to touch her, as if I spoiled him from ever wanting to touch her again, even to keep up appearances.

His dark eyes tracked my every movement, a storm brewing beneath the surface that only I could see. My chest tightened, and I forced myself to look away, focusing on the cool night air beckoning just beyond the door.

“Let me get the car,” Paolo said, his hand brushing lightly against my arm. His tone was warm and reassuring, grounding me in a way I desperately needed.

Maria and my mom moved ahead, chatting softly as they walked out onto the driveway. I lingered just inside the door, caught in the magnetic pull of Nicholas’s gaze.

I glanced back, my resolve weakening as our eyes locked again. He wasn’t trying to hide it anymore — the longing, the frustration, the unspoken words that hung heavy between us. It was written all over his face, plain as day. His fiancée turned slightly, her hand brushing his arm as she laughed at something the older man beside her said. Nicholas didn’t flinch, didn’t so much as glance at her.

All of him was focused on me.

I swallowed hard, my throat tightening as I turned and followed my mom and Maria outside. The night air hit me like a slap, cool and sharp against my flushed skin. I could hear the low rumble of Paolo’s car engine as it pulled up to the curb.

“Come on, sweetheart,” my mom called, her voice cutting through the haze of emotions clouding my mind. 

I forced a smile, slipping into the backseat beside her. Maria climbed into the passenger seat, her laughter carrying over as Paolo started the car. I leaned my head back against the seat, staring out the window as the estate grew smaller and smaller behind us.

But no matter how far we drove, I couldn’t shake the weight of Nicholas’s gaze, the echo of his voice, or the promise lingering in the air between us.

[satxnsupreme666]

Blooming flowers: Agatha Harkness x Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Masterlist

Requested by: Anonymous

Summary: You own the flower shop in Westview, you’re a good friend of Wanda and Agatha, who would have said you were going to fall for them.

Flowers and their meanings are beautiful, even if they are growing inside your lungs.

Warnings: Angst but with happy ending, mentions of blood and coughing also: Hanahaki disease is a fictional disease in which someone who experiences one-sided love coughs up flower petals, and it only ends when the love is returned or the victim dies

Word count: 12.8k 

Author´s notes: Hello, sorry for being a little bit inactive, and for the requests I have already been sent, have in mind I will be writing them and posting them, just give me please a little bit of time, also this was a requested story three years ago, so, this was one of the first stories I wrote three years ago, I had posted them on Tumblr on my old account, but due to my mental health, I had to take a break from Tumblr and the toxicity and hate that had suddenly increased, I deleted all of my stories and my old account, now I have decided to upload them again here on Tumblr and also on Ao3.

Also I am almost done uploading all of my old stories of 2021

I hope all of you enjoy this!🥺💕💕

Taglist: @italianaidiota (Hey I am trying to tag you but I do not know why it does no let me) @midnight-lestrange @eliscannotdance

 To love one person was something you knew people were used to do, but to love two at the same time?

You did not mean for that to happen.

You didn’t even know how it had happened in the first place, it just happened, so fast, you had fallen for them without realizing it.

You had fallen so quickly and so hard, how hadn’t you realized it before?

At first you had thought it had been just pure admiration for both women, they were so beautiful, so amazing and brilliant, they were fascinating.

To love two people was something you didn’t believe you were going to do, but how could you stop it?

You had just realized it three days ago when a single purple petal had come out of your mouth, you recognized the petal, it was a purple crocus petal, the flower was the symbol of royalty and nobility, it also represented, success, pride and dignity, you related that flower to Agatha, she was so beautiful and had all these traits in her, if a flower could define her, it was this beautiful one.

“Good morning doll” You didn’t hear the ring of your doorbell sounding, you were too distracted thinking about the owner of the voice that had just entered to your flower shop.

“Good morning Agatha” You said to her and unconsciously you smiled, her voice made you heart flutter.

Turning yourself around to see her walking to the counter in which you were behind, she smiled at you and you felt your face getting warmer.

“What can I do for you?” You asked her while placing one of your elbows on the counter, letting your chin rest in your hand.

“Oh, darling you can do a lot for me” She touched your forehead with her finger and you were sure you had a loving expression on your face, you loved all the gestures Agatha had towards you.

“I was wondering if you could make an arrangement of flowers” She inquired looking inside her purse

“Of course, what’s the special occasion?” You asked smiling while taking a piece of paper and a pen ready to write down.

“It’s for Wanda, today’s our anniversary sweetheart” You could hear Agatha’s excitement in her voice, they really loved each other so much, it was beautiful and painful at the same time for you.

“That sounds amazing, congratulations” You were really happy for them, you’ve never seen two people loving each other as much as they did it.

You wrote down in the piece of paper the word anniversary along with the names of different flowers you thought could be the best for the occasion.

“Thanks doll” You didn’t see the expression on Agatha’s face.

“So, which flowers would you like to include in the arrangement?” You asked before lifting your head to look at her.

“I was thinking about some roses” You saw Agatha bringing her hand to her face while she thought, you loved that she always did that whenever she was deep in thought, red roses were beautiful they reminded you of Wanda and her beautiful red hair, for you red roses represented Wanda perfectly, she was such a passionate woman whom you really admired.

“That’s a great election, red roses mean enduring passion, romance and true love”

“I didn’t know that doll, what other flowers do you think would be best to include?” Agatha leant onto the counter placing her hands on it, you thought about it for some seconds after talking again.

“I would recommend you also dahlias, red tulips and carnations” You went to the other counter that had some bouquets with different flowers and you took one of the three flowers you had told her, walking back to where she was you showed them to her.

“In general dahlias can demonstrate the lasting bond and commitment between two people, also they are great for anniversaries, you can choose from red, white, purple and pink dahlias, the meaning can change a little depending on the color, my favorite one is the pink because you can show your love to someone and how that person is irreplaceable in your heart, but never give black dahlias to someone, even though they are beautiful they commonly symbolize betrayal” You said to her in a soft tone, you handed her a single pink dahlia and she took it with a big smile on her face.

“Red tulips are a great choice to express that you love someone deeply, they symbolize passion, romance, eternal love, perfect love and true love, so red tulips are an amazing choice to give to your true love” You gave her the red tulip you were holding in your hand and she gladly took it.

“Now, last but not least, carnations, they mean love and fascination but depending on the color the meaning can change a little, for example, the light red ones mean admiration, the dark red ones mean deep love and affection, white stand for pure love and good luck and pinks usually mean a mother’s undying love, I find carnations to have the purest meanings, here take this one” You offered her a single white carnation.

“All of this is beautiful, thank you for sharing this with me” She told you while carefully caressing the petals of the red rose.

“Any time, so would you like a bouquet of all of these flowers or you want me to tell you about more flowers and their meaning?” You tilted your head a little to look at her

“I think these three types of flowers would do; their meaning is so beautiful”

“Alright so, what color do you want the dahlias and the carnations to be?” You asked her while taking again the pen to start writing down the colors

“I want the carnations to be dark red and the dahlias to be pink” She said in a whisper and you wrote it down the colors in the piece of paper, of course she was going to choose these colors for her girlfriend.

“Alright, is it alright for you to come back in two hours?  Or do you need them before?” You asked her while admiring her messy bun, some strands of her hair were falling from her face and down to her shoulders, she was so beautiful it hurt you.

Before she answered you, you started to feel something bothering in your throat and you knew what it was so you tried to clear your throat a little.

“Can you excuse me for a minute, I have to go check if I have baby’s breath for more decorations in the storage room” You said in a rush, Agatha blinked in confusion, she had seen the way you slightly touched your chest, she heard you coughed a little before you disappeared in one of the rooms in the back.

 When you were finally alone in the bathroom in front of the sink, you started to cough a little more, you tried not to make a lot of noise because you really didn’t want her to know there was something wrong with you.

You couldn’t let anyone know this, you had only heard about this in the news and how it was a really rare disease that only affected to a small percentage of the population, you didn’t want to think a lot about it, you already knew all the effects, the symptoms and how the disease developed, but you really didn’t want to think about it.

Pressing your hand over your opened lips, your throat finally felt free and you didn’t have the bothering feeling of something in it.

Taking the petal that had come out of your mouth with your fingers, you stared at the single red petal, this time it was a red rose petal and you sadly smiled at the sight, red roses were beautiful they reminded you not just of Wanda, but also the love Agatha and Wanda shared, you could see how much they loved each other, Agatha, Wanda and their kids were a really beautiful family and even if you wished you were a part of that, you felt so bad for wanting to be part of them, you knew you couldn’t and you could never be part of their amazing family, but it was so beautiful to think and dream about it.

You slowly threw the petal into the trash bin before washing your hands in the sink, after that you washed your face as well and passed the Cotton towel over your face to get yourself dry, when you looked at yourself in the small mirror in front of you a sad smiled appeared on your face, you didn’t know how many time you had left, but you were going to really enjoy it.

You had heard many times phrases like “Love can hurt” or “Love can be painful” but you had never stopped yourself to think a little about them and now you found yourself getting lost at nights thinking about how those phrases had a deeper meaning for you.

You sighed before putting on a smile again and walked out of the bathroom, closing the door you walked back to where Agatha was standing in front of the counter.

“It looks like I still have fresh baby’s breath, did you know that baby’s breath mean everlasting love and purity? That’s why I was thinking about adding them into your floral arrangement, also they make a really good decoration” You said with a smile when you were in front of her again.

“That sounds amazing sweetheart, you’re so sweet” You felt Agatha’s hand caressing your hair and her gesture made your heart flutter in excitement, how much you wished that touch was meant to be in a romantic way, but you knew she just did it because she was that way, you knew her good enough to know that she was always like this, your state of pure joy was quickly replaced by a sadness that you knew you had to hide.

“Are you alright? Doll?” The way she called you made you always feel warm, you love all of the endearments she had for you.

“Yes, yes, I’m alright, my throat was feeling a little itchy but I guess it’s just the dust, you don´t have to worry” You tried to shrugged it off, Agatha wasn’t convinced and you saw it on her face.

“So, at what time do you want me to have them? I was telling you that you can come back in two hours but if you need them before I can be faster” You said looking at her with a smile on your face, you really hope she dropped the other topic.

“It´s alright darling I can come in two hours, I don´t want you to rush things” A sad smile appeared on your face at her phrase about not rushing things, you really hoped this illness didn’t rush inside you.

“Alright then, your flowers will be ready in two hours, do you want me to write something in the card?” You asked her while taking a tiny card out of the stack you had in your files, it was simple and elegant, you really loved writing things down in cursive letters, it was so fancy, you have seen and written down many small love letters, some times it was a poem, some other times people just asked you to write some words down, but in the end you knew it was worth it, you loved to think that these tiny details make people feel loved.

You knew some people preferred to show their love and affection giving gifts and one of the best things was to receive flowers, each one of the many different and beautiful flowers had its own meaning and for you that was beautiful.

“What about

-Each flower means exactly what I feel

Even after they wither and their petals fall

My love won´t be something I have to conceal

And my love will stay with you after all.

Even when I fade away

My feelings will be here with you

Our souls will meet in a getaway

And we won´t feel blue again-“

You finished your little poem writing the last words in the tiny card, leaving the black fountain pen on the counter, you took the card in your hand and handed it to Agatha so she could see it.

You saw the way she carefully took it into her hands and you saw the way her lips formed a smile.

“This is beautiful, I didn’t know you wrote poems” She said to you in a whisper and you felt your face getting warmer again

“It´s nothing, it´s something I really like to do sometimes, so, do I attach the card to the flowers?” You asked while trying to hide your face behind a bunch of flowers you had taken in your hands to put them in a new vase.

“Of course, you´re really sweet darling, everything you do is beautiful” You gave her a small smile

“Thank you, Agatha” You said while biting your lower lip a little and she smiled, she thought you were a really sweet person

“I will come here again in two hours, I still have to run some errands, I know it will be beautiful” Agatha waved her hand at you before walking towards the exit of your flower shop, closing the door behind her when she walked out you sighed.

You´ve never loved someone before, not until now and now that you had just got to feel how it felt to be in love, you couldn’t help but think about all the time you had seen two people loving each other and wondering how did it feel to be in love, you had thought that to be in love would feel as you were walking on clouds, you had thought that being in love was like eating cotton candy, feeling the sugar melting in your tongue, tasting the sweet flavor in your mouth, you had thought that being in love with someone was like enjoying a sweet hot chocolate during a cold winter night, you were sure it was like that, but maybe not for you.

You knew some for some people was too easy to find their true love, some people found easy to fall for the right person, but maybe this wasn’t your case, after thinking a lot about it, you had come to the conclusion that maybe you had just come to earth to be a simple bystander admiring how true love was, maybe you weren’t born to be loved, maybe you were doomed only to see how real and true love looked like, and that was why you had fallen in love with two people at the same time.

But why you? Why it had been you the one to get this beautiful but painful and deadly disease?

It was already too painful to be in love and being aware that this love will never be reciprocated, but to have a constant reminder of this inside you made it worse, life was already painful but at the same time beautiful, and what was growing inside your lungs reminded you of the beauty and the pain that came with being in love.

How ironic, flowers always made you feel alive you loved them and now flowers were going to be the ones to take it away from you, at least you were going to feel some kind of love until your last days.

Trying to shrug the thoughts off you went to take the flowers you would be needing to make the floral arrangement for Wanda and Agatha´s anniversary.

You started by accommodating and placing red roses first inside the pretty white bouquet you had chosen, you thought about how many roses you should add, 9 roses to show eternal love, 10 to tell someone they’re perfect or 13 roses? They would never know the meaning of the numbers of the roses, if you put 13 roses you knew the meaning behind the number, it usually symbolizes friendship or a secret admirer.

After some minutes you decided to add just 13  red roses, you were aware that the meaning of this number and you didn’t mean them to symbolize friendship, you knew they didn’t know a lot about flowers, so they would never know; you were careful enough not to hurt yourself with the thorns and when all of them were placed inside the bouquet you took the tulips to start arranging them between the roses.

The next flowers you decided to put were the pink dahlias, you really loved this flower, it was so beautiful, the smooth leaves that belonged to it, the numerous and delicate petals encircling the tiny core of the flower, for you this flower had the purest meaning of all the flowers, to Victorians represented commitment to another person and eternal love for someone, if someone gave this flower to their partner they were showing the deep love they felt for the other person as well as showing appreciation.

Agatha and Wanda were really lucky to have each other, you could see the delicate but strong bond the two of them shared, they complemented each other so well, while Wanda tended to be guided by her heart, her emotions and sometimes her impulsivity, Agatha tended to use her mind, her cleverness, and she always thought on the consequences before doing something, you could see Agatha was the one who carefully analyzed everything, she wanted to know what other different options she could get, meanwhile Wanda rushed things a little.

If Wanda got angry you knew how she could react, she was always ready to fight back whoever who messed with her family, you really loved her passion about things, for you this wasn’t a flaw in Wanda, for you this was strength, she was so passionate about what she believed and what she wanted,  Wanda just wanted to protect her family and her beliefs and for you that was awesome.

When Wanda got angry at someone or if Agatha just realized her girlfriend was having an argument with someone, she would always step in to try to calm Wanda and you were amazed how Agatha was the only one who could calm down her girlfriend, you knew the older woman just wanted to make sure that her girlfriend was alright and after calming her Agatha always made sure to say something to whoever who was arguing with Wanda, you´ve never got to know what is it that she says to them, because they always back off with a horrified expression on their faces.

You really loved how Agatha was aware and seem to be conscious on how people would react and she always knew what to say to everyone, how couldn’t you love them?

They were so amazing, you just wanted to feel a little of what it was to be loved, but knowing what was inside you, made your heart ache, it was painful to know that you could just admire them from afar, nothing else, the only thing you could do now was to try to be as supportive as you could and be grateful that you got to be here to admire what true love felt like.

You finished placing the pink dahlias around the roses and you loved the combinations, it was the perfect representation of passion, love, tenderness and softness, the two of them shared such an amazing love, you could only wish, but that was alright, life could be painful but it could be beautiful at the same time, just like roses.

Roses were amazing and beautiful flowers, their petals were something people loved, it is the most common flower that represented love, but people didn’t like the thorns.

That´s life you thought, even with thorns that can hurt you and tear you apart, there was beauty in it, you never understood why people took away the thorns from their stem and they threw them into the trash bin, you didn’t understand it because for you the thorns of the roses, symbolized that even in beauty could exist pain and for you that was beautiful, it was just like life, even with the awful and hurtful things that happened each day, there was beauty in it, you were grateful for  seeing what love was like, you were grateful for being able to smell the sweet scent of the flowers, the scent of the wet soil, you were grateful for being able to see the colors of the sky.

Sighing you went to take the dark red carnations to start separating and choosing the best ones to put the flower arrangement, lately you couldn’t help but think on all the things you would miss.

Watching the dark color of the carnations’ petals you found yourself smiling, maybe what you were going to miss the most was the soft feeling of the petals against the skin of your hands and your fingers.

With a sad smile you kept doing what you were supposed to do, placing the last a carnation inside the bouquet you passed your finger over it, admiring the beautiful petals, taking the red tulips to start making the same process of choosing the best ones to put them into the arrangement you smiled, it was so bright and with different shades of red, the pink dahlias looked so pretty between the darker colors, finally you took some red tulips, to represent their true love, they were so lucky to have each other.

Finally, you took some baby´s breath to finish the floral gift, you loved the meaning of these tiny flowers, everlasting love; it was a really beautiful concept when you think about it, to have someone whose love would always persevere sounded so delightful.

You felt you throat getting itchy again and you tried to cough some times to see if something came out, but nothing came out of your mouth, trying to clear your throat it didn’t work at all, you still felt the sensation of having something in your throat so you went to take some water.

You took a glass and filled it with water and when you felt the cool water running down your throat, the tingling sensation went away; you frowned a little because you knew these were just the first symptoms, if this was already making you feel a little uncomfortable you couldn’t think on how it would feel when the final stages came.

You tried to brushed the thought aside an grabbed a small lace to attach the tiny card onto the arrangement, when you were done you stare at the flowers for some time, thinking about how much you were going to miss this.

You were lost in thoughts that you didn’t notice two hours had already passed until you heard the same voice you loved so much.

“Doll you seem deep in thought again” You heard her voice on the other side of the counter and it made you smile; you could never get tired of her.

She was smiling at you, you were sure her smile could light up an entire town, she was so charming, you were so in love with her, were you too obvious? No, you were sure you weren’t obvious, you knew how to keep your feelings to you, or at least you hope you knew how to hide your emotions and the love you felt for her and for Wanda.

“Oh no Agatha I was just admiring the flowers, they´re so beautiful, I think flowers can really talk for themselves, and they can also help us to express what we feel” Your eyes wandered to the different flowers In front of you and your hand caressed the petals of some yellow carnation you had in front of you.

You didn’t get to see the look in Agatha´s eyes, she always thought you were an interesting girl, you were always trying to help Wanda and her, when you babysat the twins, she always loved the way when the two of them came to their house, they would always have an amazing view of you playing a boardgame with them or playing hide & seek.

She walked closer to the counter and she pressed one of her elbows on the counter letting her chin rest in her hand, Agatha found herself amazed by the passion you seemed to have about flowers, you knew a lot about flowers and their meanings, you were so smart, you could arrange beautiful flowers in order to make something marvelous, she always loved all the effort you put in your work, she loved it.

“Oh yes, sorry, you´re arrangement is right here” She was distracted from her thoughts when she heard your voice, you pointed to the beautiful floral arrangement that was on top of the other counter.

“y/n, this is wonderful” Her comment made you smile and the way her face had lit up made you feel delighted.

“Wanda´s going to love it” That made you feel happier, you had made it for the two of them and you really hoped they both liked what you had done for them.

“I really hope so” You said while taking a piece of paper and you tried to hide your smiled behind it, Agatha always found all of your gestures adorable.

“Oh sweetheart I swear, she is going to love it” You saw the way Agatha admired the flowers and you saw her eyes shining, she really knew how to appreciate flowers and you loved it, you were sure she understood how flowers were so delicate but held a lot of power at the same time.

“How much is going to be sweetheart?” You heard her asking you and you bit your lip, you had thought about gifting her the arrangement, would it be too much? Would she think it was inappropriate? You didn’t know, but at the same time, you didn’t know how much time you had left so in the end you thought, why not risking a little?

“It´s nothing Agatha, this is my gift for the two of you” You said to her with a shy smile on your face, you couldn’t see her directly at her face so instead of looking her in the eyes you grabbed your pen and started to write down on it the things that you were almost run out of.

“Sweetheart, no, I have to pay you for this-”

“It’s alright Agatha, really, I want to give this to the two of you” You interrupted her with a soft tone but you didn’t dare to look at her

“Seriously, you don’t have to worry, I want to give this to the two of you, I want this to be my gift for your anniversary, I want to do this, can you let me do it, please?” You softly explained to her and slowly lifted your face a little to look at her.

You saw how her confused expression changed into a happy one, the way her eyes squinted when she smiled made you even fall for her more, you were already head over heels for her so you decided to look away to start writing on the same paper again.

Agatha walked towards you and she placed herself in front of you, her hand went to softly grabbed your hand that was holding the pen and she slowly made you stop writing, her soft hand was on yours and you loved the way she was caressing the back of your hand with her thumb, you felt your heart melting at her touch, how much you wished your heart didn’t confuse things, you knew she was always like that, all the time and you really thought this wasn’t alright, it would only be more painful for you.

But did you really wanted her to stop? Of course not, you wanted to keep feeling her hand against yours, you wanted her to hold your hand and that she would hug you, but you were aware that wouldn’t happen.

“Thank you so much doll, you’re incredible, thank you so much for this, I love it and I’m sure Wanda will love it too, you’re so sweet” You knew she was smiling and you wanted to see her smile, so you raised your hand and saw her face, she was so beautiful.

When she took her hand off yours you instantly missed her touch, but what surprised you was that she brought her hand to touch your face to caress your cheek in a soft way, unconsciously you leant into her touch and you closed your eyes, you were really going to miss her a lot.

“It’s alright, I really hope that you and Wanda enjoy your anniversary” You replied with a smile on your face.

Agatha took her hand off your face and you could see the happy expression she had on her face.

“I’m so happy that you’re here, you make Wanda and I really happy, thank you again for these beautiful flowers, I will think to do something to repay you darling”.

“It´s alright Agatha, really, you don’t have to, I wanted to do this for you, the two of you are amazing, you´re really good friends and I really love the two of you” The seven last words meant something deeper for you, but that was alright, it was alright, this was because of you, this wasn’t their fault, it was yours for accidentally falling for them and you knew it was alright, you can´t rush love nor make it an obligation, you were more than fine with being their friend, and that was what made you feel better, the reassuring feeling that at least you were close to them.

“We really appreciate you as well y/n, you´re always supporting and helping us, we´re happy” You became curious because she stopped talking and she looked down at the counter.

“We´re happy that you´re our friend too” You smiled at her comment and you nodded, you were happy to be their friend no matter what.

“I have to go and hide this, but we can keep talking later” You nodded and you stood straight nodding, Agatha took the floral arrangement and she stopped to look back at you.

“You´re an angel y/n” You were surprised at how easily Agatha could make your heart leap, you didn’t know what to say and unconsciously you bit your lower lip.

“I´ve got to go but this is very important to me, thank you” She said to you while pointing to the floral arrangement you´ve done for them.

Agatha started to walk towards the opened door and when she arrived at the door, she turned herself around one more time to look at you again and she winked at you, you felt heat in your face and you felt as if you wanted to hide.

You saw through the windows when she left in Wanda´s black car, watching the clock you realized it was already time to close your flower shop, it was time to go home.

Was it home though? Of course, it was, it had to be. You were happy this way.

Maybe if you repeat it many times in your head, you will start to believe it until it didn’t hurt anymore.

Stop, you said to yourself, there was no time for sad or self-pity thoughts, you had to keep going, you couldn’t let yourself fall into this increasing sadness, there was still a lot for what you could at least try; you couldn’t let what was growing inside you take away the last feeling of happiness, you needed to try to enjoy life, you weren’t going to waste this time letting the sadness consume you.

You remembered the first time Wand talked to you, she had entered to your flower shop, looking for some flowers to give to Agatha, you still remembered the way she was so excited to give something to the older woman.

“y/n you have to help me” She had said to you pressing her hand on your counter, her eyes were wide opened and fixed on you while her mouth was slightly opened, the view had made you chuckled because she was clearly in a hurry.

“Sure, what do you need from me?” You inquired and she ran her hand through her hair.

“I need to give something to Agatha, we had a little argument and she´s angry at me now, she´s not talking to me at all” You could almost even sense her mood, she bowed her head a little and she seemed to think about what had happened.

“Why is she angry at you?” You asked while tilting your head a little, Wanda raised her head and she sighed.

“It´s really not a big deal, I just, I forgot her birthday” She quickly said, and you chuckled.

“Oh Wanda, how could you have forgotten?” You asked her with a light tone.

“I swear I thought it was tomorrow, I thought today was Friday, I didn’t realize that it was already Sunday, it was a mistake” You saw the way Wanda was pouting and you found it adorable.

“Lucky for you today I have purple hyacinths they are perfect to give in a moment like this”.

You showed her the flowers before talking again.

“These flowers are an emblem of forgiveness and when you give this to someone, it means I´m sorry, please forgive me, you can give her a bouquet of these to show her you´re sorry, I´m sure she will love it”

“They are even purple, you´re a lifesaver y/n these are perfect” You laughed at her comment.

“Do you want to write something in this card? Also, we could put some baby´s breath if you like, baby´s breath mean everlasting love” You suggested and took one of the cards in which you usually wrote down small notes to go with the flowers, you handed the blank card and she carefully took it

“You can write down what you just told me about you mistaking the days and write down something lovely to go with it” You said while handing her a pen so she could write it down, you would have offered yourself to write it down with cursive letters, but you were sure Agatha would appreciate more that Wanda wrote it.

You saw Wanda thinking for some seconds what to write and then she stated to place words into the blank space, you couldn’t help but smile at her.

When she finished writing, she left the pen on the counter and looked at you with a smile on her face.

“What color do you want the lace to be? I recommend you to be white, so it looks good with the purple flowers, or do you want it to be a different color?” You inquired.

“White is good, thank you” You nodded and took a white lace to go with the arrangement.

You blinked when you heard the sound of your alarm in your phone, looking at the screen you noticed you had passed almost an hour lost in your thoughts, it was already 4:00 pm and still you hadn’t closed the shop.

Sighing you walked to the storage room to close it, you had already cleaned everything earlier so now you just needed to close the doors and head to your home.

Taking your keys and saving your phone on your pocket you got distracted by a small bouquet of white lilies, you remembered arranging this bouquet yesterday in the evening when you were about to closed, the flowers were beautiful but it made you sad their meaning, usually people would only give white lilies in funerals and that was because they symbolized peace and tranquility, it was meant to be given to the people who had lost a loved one.

You decided you would take it home with you, flowers always calmed you and even though it was another reminder of how your life was going to, at least it was recomforting to know that you could relate to a flower somehow, this flower meant to you a lot due to the circumstances you were passing through.

Taking the small bouquet in your hands you decided to finally leave and closed the shop, turning the lights off you locked the doors and looked at the empty street.

You were sure most people were in their houses enjoying the day, maybe with family or their loved ones.

What could you do when you arrived at your house? There weren’t many things you could do, you really wanted to do something different to start this new chapter in your life, you wanted to enjoy things as much as you could but at the same time you just wanted to lay in bed.

After minutes of walking you finally arrived at your neighborhood, the feeling of loneliness wasn’t helping your mood.

“Y/n!” You recognized that voice, it was Wanda´s voice, her accent was something you could never forget.

Turning yourself around to look at her you noticed she was walking towards you with a smile on her face and it made you smile too, the slight wind on her made her hair wave a little in the air, she was wearing a black hoody and black jeans, she looked so pretty as always, when she was closer to you, you felt your heart pounding faster in your chest and you were afraid she could hear the beating inside your chest.

You saw her playing a little with the sleeves of her hoody when she finally placed herself in front of you”.

“Hi Wanda, congratulations for your anniversary” You said a little shy holding closer to your chest the bouquet of lilies.

“Thank you so much” The two of you stared at each other for a while until she blinked and cleared her throat.

“These flowers are really pretty, are you going to give them to someone?” She questioned and you shook your head quickly.

“Oh no, no, these are white lilies, these are just given in funerals to try to give some kind of comfort to the people who lost someone” Wanda frowned a little, she was clearly confused, you noticed her expression and panicked a little.

“I just wanted to bring this with me because I know if I let them there alone, they will quickly fade away, so I´m going to take care of them” Wanda eyed you with a strange look on her face, you didn’t want her to suspect anything so you tried talking more.

“So, how are you going to celebrate your anniversary?” You asked moving slightly your eyebrows up and down.

Your question made Wanda´s expression changed; she went from confused to happy in seconds.

“Oh y/n I have a surprise for Agatha, she´s thinking we´re just staying home, but no, I made a reservation in the nice restaurant in the center of the town, she´s not waiting what I have planned for her” You could see that she was really excited, the way her eyes sparkled and her mouth curved into a smile, it was always a joy for you to see her.

“That just reminded me, I was looking for you because I wanted to ask you if you could watch the kids for at least two hours? It´s alright if you can´t” Wanda said the last words in a rushed moving her hands in front of her.

You smiled because this meant you weren’t going to pass the evening alone, this was a great opportunity for you to do something else, also being with the kids always made happy they were really funny and never failed to make you laugh.

“I can watch the kids; at what time do you need me to be there?” You asked her with a grin.

“You can come to our house at 6 pm” You nodded at her.

“Alright, I´ll go to your house at that hour” You really didn’t want to stop talking to her, but you had to. Had she already received the flowers? if so, had she liked them? You really wanted to know but if Agatha hadn’t done it yet, you were sure you were going to ruin the surprise, so you decided it was better not to.

“I´ll take a movie or two to watch it with the boys” You smiled at her, you could see she was thinking about something else but you weren’t sure, she looked as if she wanted to say something but she didn’t dare to, it was alright you could wait, you were really patient, and you had a lot of time.

Wanda kept playing with her sleeves, was she nervous? You couldn’t really tell.

“Well, I think I will go now, I have to prepare myself” She said to you after long minutes of just looking at you and then to the ground again.

“Sure, I´ll see you later Wanda” You gave her one last smile and you turned yourself around to walk to your house, your house was just two houses away from hers, so you just had to walked a little bit more.

You didn’t see that the woman just stood there in the middle of the sidewalk looking at you.

If only you had turned your head to look at her, Wanda thought, if only you had done it, sighing she just lowered her head and walked to the other side.

Wanda and Agatha had already discussed this, but she wasn’t even sure of what they had talked, what if it wasn’t true? She didn’t want to ruin anything, it would be another day, there was plenty of time, or at least that´s what she thought.

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Watching the hour in your phone you decided it was time to go to Wanda and Agatha´s house, you always liked to be on time, you took two super-hero movies that you were sure the boys were going to love and walked towards your door, giving a last glance at the bouquet of white lilies you opened the door to walk outside your house.

You rang the doorbell and waited for someone to open the door, you were sure Billy or Tommy would yell at Wanda or Agatha to come to open the door, because they were not allowed to open it by themselves.

“Mom, there´s someone at the door” You heard Tommy yelling and you chuckled, you knew that was going to happen.

“Is not someone, y/n is the one who´s at the door mom” You could even feel Tommy rolling his eyes, rushed footsteps came to the other side of the door and someone opened it for you.

“Y/n!” The boys came out almost running and they hugged you, you patted slightly their heads, you were happy to see them as well.

“Thank you for coming y/n” You heard Wanda saying in front of you and when you lifted you head to see her, you eyed her all of her outfit and felt your face getting warmer, you had to look away because you felt like you were staring; she was wearing a red suit and she looked so beautiful it almost felt like a crime to look at her, you had to remind yourself that she was just your friend just like Agatha, sometimes you even felt guilty for having feeling for them.

Wanda of course noticed the way you had looked away from her so quickly and instead you looked at the floor, she pressed her lips together and tilted her head to look at you.

“You don’t have to thank me Wanda, I enjoy passing time with the boys, they are so funny, also I brought this for you guys” You showed them the two movies they you had picked up and you heard their gasps.

“Oh my god, we´ve been wanting to watch these for the past week, we didn’t know they were already available” Tommy said to you while taking the movies in his hands and passing one to Tommy so he could see the cover, they were excited and you smiled.

“I supposed you were going to say that I know how much you love the saga” You knelt in front of them and they hugged you again.

Wanda was watching you in awe, she always loved the way you look out for them, she knew her boys were in good hands with you, you were so good with them and she loved the way you interacted with her kids, you were so patient and sweet, her heart melted every time she saw these interactions.

“Can we put the movie on the tv, please mom?”  Tommy asked his mother whine Tommy nodded aggressively.

“Alright boys, you can go to put the movie on” Wanda said to them and they started to run towards the living room.

“I´ll take care of them and I will make them go to bed on time” You said to her while still trying not to look at her.

Wanda was about to say something, but someone knocked on the door and you frowned, who could it be at this time?

You placed yourself behind Wanda and she opened the door revealing Agatha standing there with the arrangement of flowers, you were surprised because you had thought she was already inside, you could see she was wearing a black blazer dress and she looked so beautiful.

“Agatha?” You heard Wanda asking the older woman and Agatha stretched her hands with the arrangement out to Wanda so she could take it.

“Happy anniversary love” Wanda took the arrangement in her hands and she placed a soft peck on Agatha´s lips, their love was so beautiful and once again you found yourself looking away from them, you knew this was too personal for them, you were not part of it and you felt like an intruder, you didn’t want them to bother them so you walked towards the living room, leaving the two of them so they could enjoy their beautiful moment together.

It broke your heart but you had to accept this was not your world, it was theirs and you had to just accept it, this dumb heart of yours, why it couldn’t understand this wasn’t yours, this wasn’t your life and you would never be part of it.

“Hey kids, did you already put the movie on?” You asked the kids when you arrived at the living room, they were already sitting in the couch.

“Yes, yes, come sit with us y/n” They asked you and you put your ginger on your chin feigning to think about it.

“Of course, but don´t you want some popcorn?” You saw the way their faces lit up and they nodded, you laughed at their reaction at the mention of popcorn.

“Well, then I will go to make some” You were just going to the kitchen when you heard your name being called, turning yourself around you saw Agatha and Wanda walking towards the living room, Wanda walked closer to you with the arrangement in her hands.

“Agatha just told me you gifted us this” Shyly you nodded and unconsciously you bit your lip a little, you couldn’t help it, it was something you did when you were nervous.

“Thank you so much, this is amazing” Agatha put herself behind Wanda to look at you.

“It´s nothing I really wanted to give something to you, I knew this was a special occasion so I wanted you to have it” You whispered while you touched your hair with your hand.

“Mum y/n was going to prepare some popcorn, you´re distracting her” Tommy recalled and the three of you laughed.

“That´s true I better get going otherwise the prince here will get desperate” You joked gesturing with your hand as if you were telling a secret.

“I´m don´t want to be a prince, I want to be a hero” Pouted Tommy.

You rolled your eyes playfully at Wanda and Agatha and the redhaired woman chuckled.

“You better go, I don´t think you want to be late for your date” You said to them, you didn’t understand why they hadn’t left yet.

“Yes, you´re right, we have reservations, we will be back in two hours, before the boys bedtime” Wanda said to you and you saw how the boys stood up from the couch to hug Wanda and Agatha, you couldn’t help but feel like if you were an intruder, turning yourself around to look at the flowers in one the vases on one of the shelves, and you sadly smiled, the roses inside the vase were withered, you knew that withered flowers meant rejected love, how ironic, you thought.

“Be good boys” The two kids had returned to the couches and this time you turned yourself around to finally look at them again.

“We´ll coming later y/n” You nodded, and they smiled at you, after that they walked to the door to finally go, when you heard the door closing you sighed.

 “I´ll go to prepare the popcorn, you can start the movie without me kids” They nodded without looking at you.

Entering to the kitchen you went to look inside the cupboards, you saw one container that had written with marker in it “pop corn kernels”, you didn’t know who had made it but it made you laugh a little.

It took only ten minutes for the popcorn kernels to pop, after that you placed them in a bowl to let them cool a little, being here on Wanda and Agatha´s house made you feel like if you were home, you felt safe here but at the same time you knew you didn’t belong here, this was not your place.

Trying not to think about that you took the bowl in your hands and went back to the living room where the boys were almost glued to the tv.

“Here is a bowl full of popcorn” You handed the bowl to them and they thanked you before grabbing it.

You were just about to sit in the couch when you started to feel the itchy sensation in your throat, but this time you felt it more, you started to feel the urge to cough, this time it was more violent, you didn’t just feel your throat itching this time it was really an uncomfortable feeling.

You tried to hide the fact that you were coughing but you knew you couldn’t hide it for a long time.

“I´ll be back in some minutes guys” Standing as quickly as you could from the couch you rushed yourself to arrive at the bathroom, opening the door of it you quickly closed it trying not to make a lot of noise.

The feeling was awful it was as if you couldn’t breathe, you tried to take deep breaths, but it was hard to breathe, the tickle in your throat started to be unbearable and trying to clear your throat many times the feeling didn’t go away.

The sound of the movie was loud enough for you to hear it even inside the bathroom so it was safe for you to make more noise, you couldn’t stand the feeling and your coughs started to be more aggressive even to the point where you thought you were choking.

After what it felt like hours finally you spat purple and red petals into the sink, you couldn’t believe how many petals had come out of your mouth, there were several and still you felt as if you couldn’t breathe properly.

Trying to clear your throat again, hoping that the uncomfortable feeling would go away, but it didn’t, after calming a little, you tasted blood in your mouth, but you were confused, just some days ago you had just spat two or three petals and now there were more, was it possible that the disease could have progressed more in just some hours? That couldn’t be possible right?

You took the petals that were in the sink and threw them to the trash bin, now you were a little scared, this was happening so fast, you were afraid now, and you couldn’t even tell anyone.

Washing the sink, you proceed to wash your hands with the liquid soap, splashing some water into your face and drying yourself, you looked at yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t believe what had just happened.

You couldn’t even explain what had happened at all, why had you suddenly started to cough in such a violent way?

Looking at yourself in the mirror you noticed that what it looked like little veins were visible in your chest and part of your neck, you were sure those weren’t veins, they were the roots of the flowers growing inside your lungs, they were barely visible but you could see them if you pay enough attention to them.

You came back to the living room and you felt relieved that the boys hadn’t noticed anything, you really didn’t want them to notice anything, it wasn’t good.

“Do you want some?” You heard Billy and saw he was offering you a can of soda.

“Thanks” You smiled and took it from his hand, they were good kids and the situation you were in made you fear, you were going to miss them, you were going to miss spending time with them and with ther mums, you had been preparing yourself for what you knew was going to happen, but now you were afraid, it had hurt a lot and the sensation of not being able to breathe was awful.

You couldn’t focus on the movie playing in front of you, there were many things going on in your head at the moment, everything was happening so fast and even though you had thought you were ready, but in fact, you weren’t.

You felt too tired that you didn’t even notice you fell asleep on the couch next to the kids.

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You felt a hand shaking you a little, and slowly you opened your eyes to see that in front of you was Agatha with her hand on your shoulder, you quickly straightened and sat upright, how much time had passed since you fell asleep?  At what time had they arrived?

“What time is it?” You blurted out.

“It´s 9:30” Agatha said softly, and you grumbled a little.

"I’m sorry I fell asleep, I don’t know what happened, I just felt so tired, I’m really sorry” you said to her, you felt guilty about it.

“It’s alright doll, you don’t have to apologize, are you alright?“ Agatha asked you and you quickly nodded.

"The boys told us they had heard you coughing in the bathroom, y/n, is everything alright?” Asked Wanda coming closer to you to sit next to you in the couch.

Your eyes went wide opened because you had sworn the boys hadn’t heard you.

“Darling earlier in the flower shop you were coughing as well, I heard you, are you sick?” At Agatha’s question Wanda frowned, she was concerned about you.

“I’m fine, I’m more than fine, maybe it’s just a cold” Agatha and Wanda exchanged looks, they were really concerned because you looked tired and paler.

“I think it’s too late and the twins have to sleep just as you, so I think it will be better if a leave” You rushed yourself to say.

"We can accompany you to your house if you want-

“No, not it’s alright, my house is just three houses far from yours, so I’ll arrive quickly”.

They were confused because they didn’t understand why you were in such hurry to suddenly wanting to leave, they could see that you really wanted to go, but it was strange to them, that you didn’t even say goodbye to the kids, they really didn’t want to pressure you, but they really cared for you deeply, and your behavior was strange, they really wanted to help you, but they couldn’t if you didn’t let them first, they could sense there was something in the wind.

They exchanged looks and just let you go, they will have time in the morning to talk to you again, their worry won´t be appeased until they were sure you were alright.

Looking at you are walking outside their house and closing the door with such quietness was odd for them.

“I think there´s something off with her” Wanda whispered to Agatha and the older woman nodded, it was true, there was something going on with you.

“I know love but what can we do if she doesn’t let us know?” The dark-haired woman inquired with a disappointed tone.

“What if we…?” Agatha´s eyes widened, and it was clear that she knew what her girlfriend was talking about.

“No, we can´t do that to her, we will be breaking her trust Wanda!” Agatha rushed to say to her while taking Wanda´s hands on hers.

“But otherwise how are we going to know what´s happening to her?” Agatha gave a disappointed look at her.

“No, I said no, we won´t read her mind, we can´t do that, if we do that, she´s going to feel betrayed and you know it, we have to wait until she feels ready”.

“Alright, we won´t do that, I´m sorry, it´s just that I feel really concerned, I can´t be in peace knowing there´s something affecting her” Wanda said while caressing the back of Agatha´s hand with her thumb.

“I know but she just needs some time” Agatha tried to reassured her girlfriend, the older woman left a soft kiss on Wanda´s forehead before standing up from the couch to go to the bathroom to was her hands.

Entering to the bathroom and letting the water run down she had to turn the faucet off because something caught her attention at the bottom of the floor.

“Wanda?” She called for her girlfriend and the worried tone in Agatha made her walk faster to the bathroom.

“What´s going on?” Agatha´s heart was beating faster against her chest, she prayed it wasn’t what she wasn’t thinking.

“Are those petals?” Wanda asked confused kneeling a little to have a closer look at them.

“But they have blood in them, Wanda, do you think that, maybe those came from her?” Agatha´s hand started to shake a little and Wanda covered her gasping mouth, quickly standing up from the floor.

“That must be why she´s been coughing a lot, but who´s doing this to her?” Wanda grabbed her girlfriend´s hands in hers and she hold them closer to her, fear was what they were feeling at that moment, the uncertainty of what was going to happen from now on, the fear of you fading away like a withered flower scared them to death.

It wasn’t unfair, you were so bright, you were so smart, you could light up every room even a whole city, you just brough joy to the lives of the people you talked to, why was this happening to you?

“It´s not fair Agatha” The dark-haired woman pulled Wanda closer to her chest and they stayed ther for some minutes.

“I know it´s not fair, she doesn’t deserve this” Tears were threatening to fall from the corner of her yes.

“We have to talk to her, I thought she needed time, but we don´t even know how much time she has left, maybe we can do something, I know we can save her, alright?” Wanda just nodded against her chest, she really hoped they could save you.

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶

When you arrived at you house you tried to sleep, but you couldn’t sleep at all, you felt as if something was pressing your chest, you couldn’t breathe well, and you knew very well that indicated the roots were growing more, they were starting to obstruct your lungs.

You had been thinking about this for the whole week since it had started, but the truth it was that you still weren’t ready to leave this life, the simple thought of your breathing stopping frightened you, you weren’t ready at all.

Turning and tossing all nights because you couldn’t sleep made you feel frustrated, the mere thought of full flowers coming out of your mouth scared you, you knew that in some more days full flowers would come out of your mouth and you were going to feel real pain due to the thorns of the roses, for the first time in your entire life you wished you could have never loved someone, you knew it wasn’t their fault, you kept blaming yourself, it had been your fault, if only you weak heart hadn’t fall for them, if only you had been born with an incapacity to love, this wouldn’t have been so painful, you had tried to suppress the sadness that you knew deep down you felt, for days you had tried to suppress it, trying to act as if you were calmed and that you were alright with the thought of flowers blossoming inside you, but the truth was that you weren’t alright with it.

The urges to cough again came to you and this time it was harder to contain it, you went to the bathroom faster as you could you didn’t even have time to spit them into the sink, you did it right at the entrance of the bathroom, the coughs were more violent than hours ago, you were almost choking with the amount of petals coming from your mouth, the beautiful petals were covered with your own blood and you couldn’t even stand the sight, you were trembling, but you had to clean out, so that´s what you did.

You were scared, the only mistake you had done was to love them and now you were suffering, you couldn’t just stand the thought of them never loving you back, they were happy with each other and you knew you had to feel happy for them, but you just wanted to be selfish at least for tonight, just for tonight you wanted to cry and get rid of all the sadness and pain you felt in your chest, the thought of no one loving you and dying with a broken heart was awful, you didn’t want anyone else to feel what you were feeling, you didn’t wish this to anyone.

You wished you could stop loving them, but you couldn’t, you couldn’t, you had fallen for them, you will be facing death in some days, flowers obstructing your lungs and throat was a tragedy but, was it a beautiful tragedy? Now you just wanted them to notice how much they meant to you and the feelings you had for them, but you knew you couldn’t this to them, it was so unfair for them, you had to suffer in silence, they could never know what was growing inside of you.

The next day when you finally woke up after only having some hours of sleep you went to the bathroom to wash your mouth and spit some more purple and red petals out of your mouth.

You saw your reflection on the mirror and you could see that the roots were now more visible than yesterday, they look a lot as if they were veins, but thy were too many; passing softly your fingers over your skin you could even swear you could feel them under your skin.

Washing your mouth so the taste of the blood could go away you heard the doorbell rang, who could it be at this hour? It was too early in the morning.

Opening the door, you were surprised to see the two people who you loved the most with worried looks on their faces.

“Who’s doing this to you?”  Wanda asked with tears on her eyes, she was pointing at you, Agatha and Wanda entered to your house, making you placed yourself to the side of the door so they could enter, and you just felt astonished what were they doing here on a Sunday morning? And did she mean?

“What are you talking about Wanda?” You asked her while closing the door behind you.

“Don´t lie to us y/n” Agatha had a sad look on her face that made you feel hurt, you´ve never seen her like this.

“We saw the bloody petals on the bathroom´s floor” Wanda came closer to you her tone of voice was full of concerned, you sighed and closed your eyes lowering your gaze, you couldn’t see them in the eyes, you had been afraid that they could notice it and they already knew because you couldn’t hide the petals.

“We want to help you. Who´s doing this to you?” Agatha took your hands in hers and you let out a bitter laugh.

“I can´t tell you” You whispered, and Wanda softly rubbed your shoulders.

“We just want to help you, don’t push us away” You didn’t want to push them away, but what else you could do? It wouldn’t help you at all.

“Why don’t you want us to help you? We´re your friends- “

“That’s why you can´t help me, I´m sorry” You blurted out and dropped Agatha´s hands, you couldn’t tell this to them while looking at their eyes.

“I´m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean to fall, I couldn’t stop myself, when I realized it was already too late” Tears came out of your eyes, moving your hands in the air trying to get some kind of relief to the pain in your chest.

“I can´t help myself, I can´t stop myself from loving you, and I´m sorry, this is not fair for you, this is all my fault”.

Covering your mouth with you hand, you tried to silence the sobs coming out from your mouth.

“y/n” You heard Wanda´s voice calling you behind you.

“Please, I can´t do this, not now” You didn’t turn yourself around to look at them, so they put themselves in front of you.

“Baby girl, you don’t have to be ashamed of your feelings” Agatha wanted to grab your hand but she wasn’t sure if it would be the best to do, she didn’t want to make you feel more upset.

“We thought, you were in love with someone else, and that broke our hearts, because we thought we were going to lose you” This time it was Wanda the one who spoke

You couldn’t look at them, so you didn’t lift your head, you just kept looking to the floor.

A soft hand came to your chin, Wanda´s hand softly lifter your head with her hand but still you couldn’t look at them.

“Please printsessa, look at us” You shook your head and tried to move her hand away with yours, but Agatha stopped you, instead she grabbed your hand and hold it into hers.

“We feel the same y/n, we´ve been wanting to tell you, but we didn’t know how o when to do it, we were scared that you weren’t into it, we thought we could only have your friendship, but darling we can cure you, we feel the same” What had Wanda said?

“That´s not true, you can´t joke with that!” You didn’t know where the anger had come from.

“She´s not joking, she´s saying the truth y/n, we feel the same about you” Agatha tried not to raise her voice, she didn’t want to upset you she just wanted to make you believe them.

“Stop lying, I´ve read many times that there are cases in which the other part just lie so they don´t have to feel guilty about this, please, you don´t have to lie, I already accepted, this is not your fault, you don´t have to lie to make this stop”

“We´re not lying!” Wanda said suddenly raising her voice.

“How could we be lying about this?” Wanda´s voice was desperate; you could hear the desperation in her voice.

“You have to believe us, we´re not lying doll” Agatha´s voice was filled with grief.

You didn’t know what to believe, what if it was true? What if they were lying just because they didn’t want you to die? There many possibilities, you didn’t want them to be lying but you couldn’t believe that they were saying the truth, suddenly it started to be hard for you to breath, it started to be more painful to breath, you felt a strong pressure on your chest, the sensation of something making pressure inside your throat made you choke, you couldn’t breathe.

Instantly you knelt on the floor, gasping for some air.

“What´s wrong? y/n?” The view horrified them, you were choking, you were trying to breathe but you couldn’t, they saw the way you pressed one of your hand to your throat, trying to relief the pressure in your neck.

You felt something coming out of your mouth and even when you tried to spit it you couldn’t, you felt it was too big and you couldn’t even spit it.

“We have to do something Agatha, she´s choking, there´s an entire flower coming out of her mouth, we can´t let her die!” Wanda was shaking with fear and the tears keep streaming down her face.

Agatha came to your side to hold your body against hers, you were passing out due to the lack of air, you were closing your eyes and it scared her.

“I will try to remove them from her lungs with my magic, I don´t what´s going to happen, but we can´t let her die Wanda, you have to help me” Agatha told her while holding your body against her and Wanda came to her side, Wanda opened your shirt a little and the saw the roots of the flowers, they were a lot inside your chest and they could see them underneath your beautiful skin, Agatha couldn’t contain her tears anymore and even though she wanted to scream she tried to maintain calm.

The two of them pressed their hands on your chest and purple magic and red came from them, some stems were already coming out of your mouth and they could see that more red petals were coming out, they really hoped this could help you, they were scared, Agatha wanted to remove the seed of the flowers, the seeds of your painful and deep love for them in order to save, Wanda knew what this meant, but if that meant to sabe your life, she was going to do whatever even if that meant, you would never love them again.

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶

  You woke up in a room you´ve never seen before, but you recognized the smell of the perfume that lingered in the room.

You remembered what had happened and quickly you looked at your chest, there was no trace of the roots underneath your skin, the pressure in it wasn’t there anymore and finally you didn’t feel the annoying sensation of something itching in your throat.

You heard the door being opened and you saw Agatha and Wanda entering to the room, Wanda looked as if she had been crying, her eyes were puffy and a little red as well as Agatha´s eyes.

“What happened?” You asked them when they were close enough of you, Wanda sit next to you and Agatha sit next you to as well on the other side of the bed, they were both by your sides.

“We saved you” You blinked many times, how had they done that? You thought that the seed could be removed only by surgery.

“But that´s impossible how-¨ You stopped talking when you saw Agatha´s hand making a movement with her hand and purple mist covered her hand.

“We saved you, we didn’t want you to die, we removed the seeds from your lungs, as well as the red rose that was blossoming” You could hear sadness and Agatha´s voice but you didn’t understand why, suddenly you felt a hand holding yours.

“We almost lose you; we were so scared; you were asleep for three days! I thought you weren’t going to wake up again” Wanda was crying again, Agatha´s hand came to rub your shoulder a little, you didn’t understand why they were so sad.

“But I´m here, you saved me” You said to the two of them, holding both hands in each one of your hands.

“You saved me and I´m grateful for that, I was so scared I was going to die” You saw how the two of them exchanged a look and Wanda stood up from the bed.

“We have something for you” She looked back at Agatha and you saw that she was nodding at her, you were confused, why were they being so secretive.

Wanda left the room and minutes later when she came back to it you saw she was holding a bouquet of flowers; you felt your heart leapt at the sight of the beautiful Ambrosias.

“We wanted to give you this, we know how much love flowers, and even after what happened, we´re sure your love for them, will be the same” You felt your lip trembling a little and you took the small bouquet in your hands, of course you knew the meaning of the flowers, but did they knew?

“What does this mean?” You asked them while eyeing both women.

“It means exactly what you are thinking, doll” You felt like you were going to cry at any time.

“We weren’t lying y/n, we made a research about what flowers someone can give to the loved one, we wanted to let you know that our love for you is mutual, we´re not sure if you still feel the same, but we just wanted to let you know how we feel” Agatha explained to you, never letting go of your hand.

“But my feelings for you haven’t changed, why do you think that?” Wanda blinked several times.

“You mean, that you still feel something for us?” Agatha asked you while squeezing your hand a little.

“Yes, I don´t know why you think my feelings changed” You said with a shy smile.

"So, now you believe us?” Asked Agatha and you shyly nod.

“Now, this means we can have a chance?”  You felt your heart beating faster against your chest, you could swear the blush in your face was visible.

Agatha couldn’t help herself and she hugged you passing her arm around your waist when she separated from you Wanda was the next to hug you, just as the same way Agatha had done, one of her arms passed around your waist.

“You don’t know how happy you just made us y/n now we can have what we have been wanting for a long time, you don´t need to hide anything from us, you can trust us y/n” Agatha´s hand was caressing your cheek while Wanda softly stroked your hair.

You didn’t know what was going to happen from now on, but you were happy, this was your new chance to live, and you were going to make sure you enjoy it this time, the pain and sadness wasn’t inside your heart anymore, you felt content and with the two women there with you, you knew you weren’t going to feel sad again, you were happy that weren’t lying and all of what had happened you were sure, had been worthy.

“Now we can be the ones to give you flowers baby girl” Agatha´s voice distracted you from your thoughts.

“You are aware I own a flower shop, right?” Wanda laughed and Agatha playfully rolled her eyes.

“Yes, we´re aware of that, but we can still give them to you, we already know the meaning of many flowers we can give to you, to show our love for you” Wanda hold your hand and finally you understood how it felt to be loved.

[sambuckylibrary]

TFATWS Anniversary Event 2025

The @sambuckylibrary will be holding a TFATWS Anniversary event! The event will run from March 17th to April 27th. During that time, we will be reblogging and sharing the work you guys create here on our blog.

You can post fanfiction, art, fic rec lists, comments, moodboards, podfics, edits, etc. It’ll be a low-stakes event. No need to sign up. Just remember to tag @sambuckylibrary in your post for each fill, and we will be tracking #tfatwsanniversary2025 for reblogs.

If you are posting on AO3, please add it to the TFATWS Anniversary Event 2025 Collection.

For the prompts for the event, as well as the FAQ and rules, check the information under “keep reading”.

The Prompts Will Be:

WEEK 1:

Monday: Madripoor Tuesday: District of Columbia Wednesday: Birnin Zana Thursday: New York City Friday: Delacroix

WEEK 2:

Monday: "You give them something to aspire to." Tuesday: Long, Separate Vacations Wednesday: "Can you move your seat up?" Thursday: Big Three Friday: "I love you, buddy."

WEEK 3:

Monday: Meet Ugly Tuesday: Enemies to Lovers Wednesday: Only One Bed Thursday: And They Were Roommates Friday: Didn't Know They Were Married

WEEK 4:

Monday: Leila Taylor | Sidewinder Tuesday: Joaquín Torres | Ayo and Shuri Wednesday: Isaiah and Eli Bradley | Redwing Thursday: Karli Morgenthau | U.S. Agent Friday: The Wilson Family | The Barnes Family

WEEK 5:

Monday: Fantasy AU Tuesday: Soulmates AU Wednesday: Sports AU Thursday: No Powers AU Friday: Celebrity AU

WEEK 6:

Monday: Searching for Bucky Barnes Tuesday: On the Run Wednesday: TFATWS Thursday: Captain America Sam Wilson Friday: Forming the Thunderbolts* | Reforming the Avengers

FAQ

What is this?

It’s a SamBucky multi-week event in celebration of the anniversary for TFATWS TV show.

Is there any pressure?

No pressure at all. Fill one prompt. Fill all the prompts at once. Do however many you please.

Can I fill more than one prompt with one piece of art/one fic?

Yes! You can fill one prompt with one piece of art or fic. You can try to fill all of the prompts during the event at once with one piece of art or fic. You can do any number in between.

Are there any prizes for making anything for this event?

Just the satisfaction that you made something cool.

Is it just SamBucky?

Yes please, just SamBucky. There can be side ships, but the main ship should be SamBucky.

How long will this event run?

It will run from March 17th and run until April 27th.

I heard there are badges I can use for each fill?

Not this year, unfortunately. But there will be cool banners for each day!

RULES AND GUIDELINES

What are the guidelines for the event?

I will be borrowing some of this from the MYSU Valentine’s Day Bingo 2022 Guidelines, since they were fantastic.

For Everyone:

1. Remember to @sambuckylibrary in the post as well as #tfatwsanniversary2025.

2. Please also tag the prompt you’re filling (for instance, if the square is “Redwing”, use “#redwing” as one of your tags when posting about it on Tumblr).

3. If you’re uploading to AO3, please:

a ) Say somewhere which prompt you’re filling.

b ) Add it to TFATWS Anniversary Event 2025 (TFATWS_Anniversary_Event_2025).

For Artists:

1. Create at least one piece of new art that can’t have been posted anywhere else before this.

2. All visual art forms are welcome:

a ) Gifsets, at least 2 gifs.

b ) Aesthetic boards or moodboards, at least 4 images each.

c ) Drawing/painting, that is not a sketch.

d) Fan video.

e) Graphics edit.

For Authors:

1. At least 500 words.

2. Posted on Tumblr or AO3.

3. Can be part of a series, but should work as a standalone.

For Podficcers:

1. The podfic should at least be 5 minutes long.

2. It should be posted on either Tumblr or AO3.

3. The podfic can be of a fic made for the event, a fic not made for the event while still adhering to the prompt, or a notfic.

For Fic Rec Lists:

1. You must have at least three fics or podfics on the rec list.

2. Make sure to give brief descriptions of the fics or podfics as well as their rating and wordcount.

For Commenters:

1. Any amount of comment counts, from a heart emoji (“❤️”) to an essay.

2. We would rather this be about what makes you happy and joyful about reading than any scathing critiques.

Things to be mindful of when creating:

For Sam

Avoid framing Sam only as a caretaker or emotional support for Bucky. Be mindful of Sam acting angry or aggressive in an out-of-character way and falling into the angry/sassy Black man trope (check out the MCU source material to help with character traits).

Avoid decentering Sam as a main character and refrain from focusing entirely on Bucky.

In art: avoid whitewashing Sam’s skin and research drawing Black characters.

General disclaimer: Race affects every aspect of his life, including interacting with police/government and the white structures of the world when it comes to performing his duties as Cap and simply being a Black man that lives in the U.S.

For Bucky

Avoid phrasing “flesh/normal/human hand” to refer to the contrast between his prosthetic arm and his right arm. The phrasing is ableist. You can simply refer to his prosthesis when relevant, otherwise use “right/left arm/hand”.

For more information, please check out this document suggested by @ninesdb on how to write Bucky as an amputee. @ninesdb is also open to questions if you have any queries not answered by the google doc.

Specific Tags:

Avoid tags in AO3 like “Sam Wilson is a Gift”, “Sam Wilson is a Saint”, and “Bucky Needs a Hug”.

Have fun and we look forward to your TFATWS inspired pieces!

- The Mods

[war-of-hormoan]

a touch of silk (m)

You have been working with wolves long enough to recognize trouble the second it walks into the bar but there was something about Jungkook that made you forget everything Namjoon told you about the dangers of lone wolves.

pairing: werewolf!jungkook x f. human!reader genre: werewolf!au, smut, angst with a happy ending word count: 10,160 warnings: language, explicit content (oral and penetrati, non-graphic violence, and mild blood author's note: i posted this on an old tumblr back in 2019/2020 and it has been crossposted on my ao3 since then. i wanted to repost it as i have (after almost five years) have picked writing back up and have decided to continue to work in this universe. i have not edited this since it was originally uploaded. i can't guarantee it still holds up after all these years, but i wanted to post it anyway!

Your dressing room in the back of the club didn’t have any windows, but that didn’t stop the sound of the rain pelting onto the structure of the building from sounding like it was about to burst through the drywall. Night’s like this that made your job difficult as no one would want to leave the comfort of their own warm and dry homes to come to a smoke filled bar to hear you sing. But you were due on stage in 5 minutes and if your performance tonight was cancelled, Namjoon would have popped his head in to tell you to just go home.

So here you are, fixing the red lipstick that had smeared along the edge of your lips after taking a large sip of tea for your throat. You lean towards the illuminated mirror to make sure nothing else on your face was out of place, double checking the bobby pins you had carefully placed to see if they were still secure. It wasn’t like you were much of a dancer, you stood neatly in front of a grand piano for most of your shift, except for the moments when you walk through the crowd in hopes that one of the men who had a little too much to drink felt like leaving you a tip.

You reach down towards the drawers of your vanity, fingers hovering over the handles as you decide which drawer to open. You close your eyes, letting fate decide and open one of the two you had been debating between. It was the first drawer, filled with the flashiest of your stage jewelry. The pair of earrings were covered in crystals and gems that made it seem like a disco ball was hanging from your ears. Some of them were gifts from your fans, given to you in hopes they would somehow get them an “in” with you. As if your love and affection could be bought with something simple as jewelry.

You decide on a simple pair and secure them to your ears. The tips of your fingers brush against the skin of your neck, making you shudder as you remember the way his lips used to kiss the sensitive flesh. You take a deep breath, trying to push the memory to the back of your mind and focus on the reality in front of you.

You look at the time on the clock, it’s hands were pointing to just before showtime. So you disrobe, placing the fluffy pink material onto your vanity bench. Your hands smooth over the ice blue silk fabric in attempts to hide any of the creases that formed when you were sitting down.

There is a soft knock on the door just as there is every night at this moment.

“You can come in.” you call out after hearing a muffled “Y/N?” travel through the door.

Namjoon opens the door just enough to slip through the cracks without exposing anyone to your hideaway. He gives you the once over, running through his own mental checklist to make sure you were dressed for the occasion.

“Are you ready?” he questions, looking at your face through the mirror.

You gesture him to your back to take a look at the bow you had tied with the straps. “Is it even?”

Your friend sighs, recognizing your question was an attempt for him to forget what he was really asking you.

“You’re going to have to talk about it one day, Y/N.” he reminds you as he double knots your bow.

“About what?”

“Him.”

You turn around to face him, trying your best to keep your poker face in tact as it would do you no good if you came apart at the seams just before you were due on stage.

“Not now.” you warn him, squeezing past him to start your shift.

You were surprised at the amount of people in the bar this evening as you were sure the weather would turn the night into a dud but almost every single seat was filled. Yoongi was already sitting at the piano and arranging his sheet music neatly in order even though the set you were about to sing was almost always the same, and he had memorized it long ago.

Involuntarily, your eyes scan for him in the crowd and you are unsure if you want him to be among the faces or not. You know that the entire situation was for the best. And that his presence in your life had only brought trouble. The disappointment you’re feeling doesn’t last long however, as you see the president of the largest cannery in town sitting at a booth with a bunch of his friends that looked like they had taken a shower in cologne.

He would be your target tonight.

You flash a grin to the audience as you make your way onto the stage, making sure they all believed the act you were about to perform.

“Are you ready Yoongi?” you tease in your performance voice.

The pianist nods and starts to play the first song on your list.

By the second song you know you have the president wrapped around your finger. He was leaning forward onto the table, his fingers holding onto the glass of scotch he hadn’t taken a drink from in several songs. It was amusing how easy it was to get them eating out of the palm of your hand. All it took was a combination of eye contact and your hips to send them into a frenzy.

You enjoy watching the way men wrapped themselves around your fingers. Maybe this was the reason you were unable to give yourself fully to someone else, knowing how each of your exes felt about your career. They would be fine at first, completely understanding and accepting of the fact that you flirt with men for a living but then after a few months it would start to turn. They get “protective” but jealousy was all the same no matter what you tried to call it.

So you make a promise to yourself, that as long as you were performing on stage for a living, love would be the last thing on your mind. It was easier that way, at least so you thought.

You reach the point in the night where you engage with the crowd and you step down from the stage and make your way through the crowd, watching as they all hold their breath in hopes they’re the lucky one you chose tonight. He is waiting for you, straightening his posture as you make your way towards his booth, scooting towards the edge so he can get a better look at you. You go through through your calculated motions, making his cheeks deepen with a mixture of alcohol and unfulfilled lust.

He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a crisp bill in the largest sum they make. He slips it between two of his fingers, offering it to you with a smirk on his face like he’s got it in the bag.

“Thank you.” you tease, winking at him with a smile as you grab the money from his hands and slip it into the bust of your dress.

Yoongi rolls his eyes the second the two of you make eye contact as you head back towards the stage, his fingers never leaving the piano.

“I’ll share with you.” you mouth to him, making the pianist wrinkle his nose.

“I’m afraid I only have one song left tonight.” you apologize to the crowd in disbelief yourself that it had already gone by so fast.

The men in the audience protest, encouraging you to keep going.

But your attention isn’t on them as the door to the bar slammed open with a thud.

Jungkook stumbles in from outside. His clothes were soaking wet, sticking to his bones as he makes his way through the crowd. He doesn’t apologize as his limbs crash into other patrons of your work, leaving a trail of men yelling various curses and forms of protest in his path. He was almost to your dressing room when you notice that his shirt used to be white. The button was swirling in shades of crimson.

“Why is he always bleeding?” you think to yourself as you try to remain composed, keeping yourself together as you finish the last song of the night.

“Thank you everyone for coming out tonight!” you smile as Yoongi’s fingers grace the last of the notes on the piano.

The audience around you claps and whistles louder than you deserve and you bow slightly, careful not to expose yourself before heading towards the back of the stage.

“Did you see him?” Yoongi asks just loud enough so that you would be the only one who hears him.

“Yes.” you take his hand as he offers it, holding the skirt of your dress in the other and the two of you head down the stairs in sync.

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“Three months ago.” Almost to the day, not that you were counting.

Yoongi sighs, “Please take care of yourself, Y/N.”

But you wave him off, “I always do.”

You head towards the back of the bar, reaching behind the large oak counter top to grab a few bar towels as you had used the last of the ones in your dressing room to dry yourself off from the elements. Out of the corner of your eye notices the metal first aid kid tucked in between Namjoon’s personal items. You were unsure if the contents of the kit would even be able to help him as it looked like he had been bleeding a lot, but you grab it anyway. Just in case your self-taught skills could come to use.

“Where are you going, beautiful?” a low voice asks you as soon as you start to make your way towards the dressing room.

You turn around to no surprise and see the man who had tipped you earlier in the evening. He is staring at you with dark eyes and you know how he wants you to answer his question. But that wasn’t going to happen, especially when there was a bleeding werewolf in your dressing room.

“I’m off to freshen up.” you smile, drawing out your syllables slowly.

“Would you like company?” he asks right on schedule.

You shake your head. “No boys allowed.”

His eyes flash with lust. “I’m not a boy.”

“I can see that, but this lady needs her privacy for a few moments, alright? Why don’t you let Yoongi make you a strong drink and I will be out shortly, okay?” You put a compromise on the table even though you know you might not be able to hold up your end of the offer.

But it was enough to satisfy the man, and he takes a step back, but before reaching out for your hand to place a gentle kiss on your skin.

You rip your hand out of his and gently wipe your hand on the back of your dress before putting distance between the two of you.

“Come back soon.” he winks, making it almost impossible for you to not visibly gag in front of him.

Every step you took made your heart skip further and further into your throat, feeling as though you could almost choke with anticipation for what is waiting for you on the other side of the door. You stare at your hand reaching out for the door knob, wondering how one part of your body could be more courageous than the rest of it. You close your eyes, taking in a breath as far as your lungs could go and hold it until you start to feel a rush in your head and turn the handle.

Namjoon’s back is the first thing you see once you find the courage to open your eyes. His hands are at his hips, balled into fists as he hovers over Jungkook. His body was hunched over the back of your chair, arms hanging loosely as though the blood loss or alcohol had made him lose total control over his limbs.

“It’s almost a blood moon, Jungkook.” Namjoon growls deep within his chest the second you close the door, locking it just in case any of the patrons decide to give themselves a private tour of your dressing room,

“Do you know what kind of risk you’re putting everyone in this bar in? What kind of risk you’re putting Y/N in? Huh? Or are you so fucking selfish that you don’t care about who’s life you destroy?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer, his gaze remains glued to the ground as if he was trying to summon demons to the hellmouth your town was sitting atop of.

“Don’t worry.” you hear Jungkook eventually mumble. “I’ll be gone soon.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” you question him.

Jungkook looks at you through rain soaked hair. The dark black strands stick to his face, making the werewolf in front of you look even more disheveled than he does on a day to day basis. You must have been the last person to run a pair of scissors through his locks as they were hanging in his face, hiding the scar on his cheekbone. You hated how he looked at you, making you feel vulnerable and raw as one glance could tell him everything he needed to know about how you’re feeling at that very moment.

Namjoon steps aside, pinching the bridge of his nose between frustrated fingertips as he knows exactly how the scene in front of him is going to unfold. He takes a deep breath before looking at you with eyes full of pity.

“Y/N, please don’t forget what happened the last time he stormed in here.” he warns you of that night three months ago.

He had found you curled in a ball underneath your vanity, crying into your dressing gown. You were convinced that night was going to be the last time you ever saw Jeon Jungkook. Three months later, here he was, almost exactly where the two of you had left off.

“I won’t.” you reach out to squeeze your boss’ hand, letting him know that you had it under control and he could leave the two of you alone.

Namjoon hesitates, pressing his tongue into his cheek as he debates whether or not it’s a good idea for him to leave.

“I think that’s your cue to leave.” Jungkook snaps at the older wolf.

Namjoon scowls, looking at the lone wolf in disgust. “You are lucky I didn’t throw you to your former pack the first time you walked into my bar and you’re lucky I’m not going to do that now. If you lay even one finger on her, I’ll know and I’ll make sure that Jimin knows exactly where to find you. Got it?”

The threat makes Jungkook laugh, rolling his eyes at the threat. “Whatever you say, boss.”

“I’m sorry.” you whisper as Namjoon turns around to leave.

“I’ll be right outside.” he tells you, eyes flickering over to the panic button he had installed a year ago. “Jus-”

“Just press the button and you’ll be right in.” you nod your head. “I know the drill.”

One last sigh of disapproval leaves Namjoon’s chest before he leaves the two of you alone, closing the door tightly behind him.

Jungkook’s eyes follow your every move as you make your way towards the large cherry boudoir. You open the bottom drawer, pulling out the large first aid kit you and several pairs of surgical gloves.

“Lean back.” you not so much tell him but push his shoulders back into the chair and push his chin up towards the ceiling.

You try your best to keep the long shaggy hair out of his face, but the blood soaked strands have a mind of their own, forcing you to bring out reinforcements. You wander over to your vanity, opening the top left drawer and pull out a pink ribbon before resuming your place in front of the bleeding wolf.

Silence begins to settle like dust around the two of you as you get to work, pulling on the latex gloves to make sure everything you’re doing is as sanitary as it can be in this situation. You collect the hair on the crown of his head and tie it messily in the pink ribbon, making you laugh at how ridiculous he looked.

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook cocks an eyebrow.

“You look absolutely ridiculous.”

“You should see the other guy.”

That joke was funny the first few times you heard it, but after hearing it hundreds of times, all you can do is sigh.

You ignore it, choosing to give all your attention to the task at hand and pull out the large brown bottle of antiseptic.

Jungkook’s lips press into a thin line as he watches you unscrew the cap and pour the clear liquid onto a cotton swab. He was usually a man of many words and countless brags about how he fucked someone up or how he managed to leave the scene of debauchery without getting caught.

Tonight was different. There was something in the air, bubbling under the surface as it waits for its chance to breach the surface.

He winces as you dab the wound on his eyebrow, cleaning up the excess blood so you assess the damage. It didn’t seem to be very deep, only needing a few stitches and he would be as good as he could get.

“Where did you learn how to do this?” he asks, trying to ease some of the tension that had been growing between you.

“Here. I’ve just had lots of practice over the years.”

“So I’m not the first?“

There is a hint of jealousy in his question, making you roll your eyes as you finish your handiwork, and take a seat on your vanity stool.

"Yoongi was the first.” you take off your gloves, throwing them in the trash before you search through your first aid for the last few items you need.

You can’t help but laugh as the memory of that night plays back in your mind. “It was two, maybe three years ago? I can’t remember, but it was a really slow night. There might have been one or two customers inside the bar all night long. I had given up on my set, so I was seated at the end playing a card game with Namjoon while we tried to pass the time. Maybe an hour before last call a group of very drunk and very obnoxious vampires came crashing into the bar.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “When are vampires ever not obnoxious?”

“Sit still, I’m not done yet.” You hold his head in place “Namjoon let them order one more round before he cut them off, which the youngest didn’t seem to like. The others apologized for his behavior, trying to excuse the fact that he was a brand new vampire on his inability to control his temper. But that just made him more agitated so he started to scream nonsense about how he was perfectly able to take care of himself and he threw his empty blood bottle and it smashed right into Yoongi’s face on the piano.”

You take a deep breath. “It was a complete disaster. The second that newborn smelled Yoongi’s wolf blood, he went ballistic. He tried to drain him and it took every single one of his friends to hold him back. Namjoon kicked all of them out before anything else could happen and banned them from entering. Luckily Yoongi was fine, and it wasn’t anything serious but for whatever reason he refused to go to the hospital and made me stitch him up in my dressing room even though I had no idea what I was doing. And now he has that giant awful scar on his left eyebrow. Haven’t you noticed it?”

Jungkook looks at you as your re-gloved hands rub antibacterial ointment on his stitches and place a band-aid over his wound. “No, you’re the only thing I’ve noticed since the first time I walked in.”

His words catch you off guard, making you slam the lid to your first aid kit shut as you attempt to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“That dress looks amazing on you, by the way. I’m glad I got to see you wear it, if it’s just this once.” he tells you, tracing your body with his pupils.

You look down at the light blue silk, feeling exposed underneath the smooth fabric that covers your body.

────────────────────

It was the first and only time you have ever seen Jungkook while the sun was still hanging in the sky. He showed up at your apartment in the middle of your morning coffee and toast. The loud thud of his fist against your front door made you grab the large baseball bat you kept near the umbrellas just in case. You were ready to swing as you watched the doorknob jiggle back and forth, making you freeze in place.

Whoever it was, had a lot of nerve to break into your apartment in the middle of the afternoon. You raise the bat as if you’re ready to swing the second they cross the threshold. You take a deep breath, closing your eyes as your front door swings open.

“Y/N! What the hell!” Jungkook hisses as he grabs the bat in his palms before you could make a dent in his forehead.

Your eyes open wide. “Jungkook? What the hell! Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?”

“You’re hot when you’re about to get violent.” he teases, using his wolf strength to take the piece of wood out of your hands.

“What the hell are you doing?” you refuse to drop the subject despite his attempts of making you forget by taking you in his arms and kissing down your neck.

“I wanted to see you.” He purrs.

“And you couldn’t have called?”

“I didn’t think you would have answered.” he finds amusement in the goosebumps rising in your skin.

You push the wolf off of you, standing your ground. “I’m not in the mood after the stunt you just pulled.”

“I’m not here to fuck you.” he grins, clearly pleased with himself for getting you worked up.

“Then what are you here for?” you fold your arms across your chest.

“I want to take you somewhere.” he reaches out to take your hand, but you recoil.

“And where is that exactly?”

He leans forward, flashing that boyish grin you hate to love. “It’s a surprise.”

You roll your eyes. “Let me grab my purse.”

Jungkook waits for you by the door like a puppy who just heard the word “walk”. And it was moments like these that made it easy for you to forget what he really was. This was a side he seldom shared, letting it slip through the cracks in bits and pieces before he put his big bad wolf persona back on. A part of you wants to ask him to stay and to never let him out of your sight. That question wouldn’t be fair and you know that. Jungkook wasn’t meant to be tied down, especially not to a human like you.

The feeling that was growing in your heart is cursed but that doesn’t stop you from taking his hand and let him lead you out onto the busy streets.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” you ask him out of breath, barely able to keep up with his large footsteps.

He immediately slows down. “Sorry, we’re running late.”

“Do we have an appointment?” you question as he pulls you closer to his side. The gesture makes you nervous as you wait for his warm to wrap around his waist but the ringing of a bicycle bell brings you back to reality. Jungkook was only making sure you didn’t get run over.

“I’m not telling you.” he teases, nodding his head to the right. “It’s this way.”

He leads you down a busy side street, one you had never walked down on your own. Mostly because it’s length was full of stores that were way out of your bar singer price range. Jungkook stops in front of a large store almost at the end of the street. You stare up at the sign, realizing he had brought you to a dress shop.

“Jungkoo-” you begin to protest but he is already two steps ahead of you and holding the door open for you to follow him.

You feel immediately out of place as soon as you step onto the large marble floor of the store. Everywhere you turn are clothing racks full of dresses you had only seen in editorial spreads in magazines. It took all your strength not to reach out and touch every single one.

Jungkook’s eyes were following your amazement, watching you as you walked passed each rack. “Do you see anything you like?”

“You mean everything?” you laugh, your eyes focused on an emerald green velvet dress.

“You can try it on if you like.” he suggests, catching up to your strides.

“I-I couldn’t.”

“But you can.” he whispers.

“Mr. Jeon Jungkook, look how you’ve grown!” a loud voice calls out suddenly, making the two of you turn around immediately.

A small woman covered in needles, thread and tape measures approaches the two of you. Jungkook greats her warmly, leaning down so she can plant kisses on each of his cheeks.

“Oh! I got lipstick on you.” She starts to wipe off her lip prints but Jungkook waves her off.

“I like them.”

“Wolves like you keep me young.” She smacks him playfully on the chest before turning her attention to you. She looks up at you, pushing her large black glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Now who do we have here?”

“Hello, I’m Y/N.” you smile at her warmly.

She looks at Jungkook with an amused look on her face. “You didn’t tell me she was this pretty.”

Jungkook’s cheeks turn a deep shade of red. This was the first time you had ever seen Jungkook blush and you were enjoying the fact the shoe was on the other foot for once.

“Come with me darling and we can get started.” she begins to pull you by the elbow towards a small podium nestled between a three sided mirror.

She urges you to step up as Jungkook takes a seat in one of the large plush pink chairs. Without another word she starts to take your measurements, reaching from your head to your toe, scribbling them down in a worn out notepad.

“Now what were you thinking as far as the design goes my dear?” she asks, blinking several times through her thick frames.

“I’m sorry?” you ask in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“What about a thin strap and maybe a slit that goes up to here?” she places her finger on your mid-thigh. “Jungkook? What do you think?”

He looks up from his phone, “I’m sure any design you come up with will look great.”

The woman nods her head before handing you a large binder that seemed to weigh almost as much as she did. “Take a look through these swatches and I will be back in just a few minutes, alright my dear?”

You nod before taking a seat next to Jungkook who was furiously typing away on his phone.

“What is this for, Jungkook?” you ask firmly, making him slide his phone into his pocket.

“I just wanted to say thank you.” he stares at you.

“Thank you for what?”

“For taking care of me all this time.”

“Someone has to.” you whisper, looking up to stare at him.

Your eyes locked onto his. His pitch black irises were unreadable as you stared at him. Both of you were unsure where to take it from here. This was uncharted territory after all. The first time the two of you had been outside the confines of your work. You hadn’t even fucked in a bed, yet alone go out in public with each other.

“What do you think about these?” you ask, opening the book of swatches to a random page of fabric.

Jungkook’s chest falls as he exhales, directing his attention to the book in your hands. He points to a swatch of ice blue silk. “That one is pretty.”

“Have you decided, my dear?” the seamstress returns to the dressing room.

You nod, pointing to the swatch of silk. “I think I’ll go with this one.”

A large smile spreads across her face. “Delightful! That color will look amazing on you.” ────────────────────

“This is the first time I’ve worn it.” you admit, looking down at the silk dress, playing with the seam of the large slit in your fingertips.

“Then I have perfect timing.”

“That’s an understatement.” you mutter under your breath.

Jungkook takes a deep breath as if he was pulling your emotions from the air around the two of you. His chest rises as he inhales deeply, preparing himself to face the bitterness in your words.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he finally asks you, pulling out the ribbon from the top of his head.

There is silence as you watch him run his fingers through his hair. The dark strands have started to dry, making him look more like a wolf than a rain soaked puppy. The loose curls that were starting to form were new, but maybe they had always been there and you just never noticed they existed.

You were starting to realize how vast the depth of the unknown was when it came to Jungkook.

“Y/N?” he nudges your knee with his palm.

You stare at him, trying to read between the lines of his features for any sort of clue as to where you should go from here. Yet the longer you stare, the larger the fire in the pit of your stomach grows.

“Do you remember the first time you stumbled into this bar Jungkook?”

“Barely.”

“Well, it wasn’t much different than this. You were so drunk you could barely keep your head up. I remember watching you from the stage as you crashed into one of Namjoon’s pack members. I had never seen Hoseok as angry as he was when you knocked his bourbon out of his hand. I thought he was going to rip your head off before Namjoon could intervene. They were going to toss you in the dumpster in the alley and let the rats eat you, but I begged them to let me look at your injuries, to make sure that you weren’t going to bleed out. Hoseok tried to warn me then that you were bad news, that a lone wolf without a pack could only bring trouble. I think I’ve finally realized now what he meant by that.” you try to hold back the tears as the memories of every single stitch you sewed into Jungkook’s skin threatened to make this ten times harder than it needed to be.

“What are you trying to say?” Jungkook asks, pressing his palms together in the way he always does when he is annoyed.

“Once I finally got you stitched back together, I stepped out to get you some ice water. It was last call so Namjoon was busy behind the bar so I helped him out with a few drinks. I was gone for only a couple of minutes but by the time I got back to my dressing room you were already gone. You had managed to sneak out like a thief in the middle of the night.” you laugh. “I mean, I guess you technically are.”

“I’m not a thief, Y/N.” he corrects you.

“How am I supposed to know that, Jungkook?” you ask, unable to hide the hurt in your voice. “Ever since you stumbled into this bar the first night, everything has been on your terms. You show up when it’s convenient for you and disappear like smoke. If it weren’t for Namjoon and Yoongi, I’m not even sure I would believe that you’re real.”

“I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“But not for long, right? Isn’t that what you told Namjoon?”

You’ve backed him into a corner with your words. He looks at you like he is completely lost, unable to understand the ice in your voice.

“Y/N-” he reaches out towards your hands, making you back away from his reach.

“I don’t want to hear it Jungkook, whatever excuse it is this time.” you sigh. “I just don’t want to hear it.”

Out of the corner of your eye you see Jungkook’s hands tighten into fists, his knuckles go white as he squeezes the tension into his joints. “You know what I do, Y/N.”

“No, Jungkook. I don’t. I barely know anything about you. That’s the entire problem! Everything has been on your terms since the day we met. You come here it’s convenient for you and leave once you’ve had your feel. Have you ever stopped to think about how that makes me feel?”

His lips press into a thin line and you have your answer.

“You’re a selfish son of a bitch.” you shake your head, leaning forward to rest your elbows onto your vanity.

“Do you think I’m doing this because I want to hurt you, Y/N?” his voice comes out like a low whisper.

“If you’re saying you do this to protect me you can walk out right now.” you hiss, staring at him through the mirror.

“What do you want to know?” he asks you, folding his arms into his chest.

“It’s too late.”

Jungkook leans forward and grabs the back of your stool. You wish you had locked the wheels as he pulls you towards him, but you know that wouldn’t be enough to stop him from using his wolf strength.

He spins you around to face him, “Something tells me that’s not true.”

You scoff, crossing your arms before you turn your head to stare at the rack of dresses, wishing you had worn anything other than this.

“I’m not like Yoongi or Namjoon. I wasn’t born a wolf. I didn’t grow up in a pack. I was a human up until three years ago.” he takes a deep breath, his voice shaking as if this was the first time he has ever told anyone else this story.

“What happened?” you ask, turning your attention back to him.

“When I told my dad that I didn’t want anything to do with the spot in his company he had been saving for me since I was born, he kicked me out. I was sleeping on couches, working shitty jobs in the back of restaurants or anywhere that would take me. Eventually I started to work for Heejun down at the shipyard. At first I was only loading and unloading the containers from the ships. I didn’t know what was inside of them, they were all under lock and key. And heavily guarded.”

He takes a deep breath. “I was there really late one night as a ship from Japan had arrived late due to a typhoon. There was something off, a thickness in the air that made Heejun anxious. He didn’t stop pacing until the ship was fully docked and even then he kept checking over his shoulder as if he was worried someone was going to attack him. Eventually they did. We were ambushed as soon as the first container was loaded into the warehouse. The only thing I remember is one second I was talking to Heejun and the next I was flat on my back, bleeding out.”

“When I woke up, everything was different. My vision was sharp. My sense of smell was so strong I could smell the rotting garbage coming from the dumpsters on the street despite the fact that I was six stories up in an apartment. And that’s when I realized that I wasn’t dead, but something had happened to me.” he starts to stutter through the last words.

“Heejun turned you.” finish for him.

Jungkook shakes his head. “No, Heejun and the rest of my coworkers were slaughtered that night. I was turned by the pack who attacked us. I guess there was something about me he liked, so instead of dumping my body into the harbor he decided to turn me at the last second.”

Jungkook lifts the sleeve of his shirt to expose the bite mark you had seen hundreds of times. He watches your hand move slowly from your lap towards the scarred tissue and closes his eyes the moment your fingertips make contact. You trace the jagged outline, barely able to wrap your head around what it must have felt like for him to go through that, alone.

“It’s funny how I was running away from a life I had no control over, but it still ended up that way anyway. I don’t know how much Namjoon has told you about wolves and their packs but you’re under the alpha’s control. You have to listen to every order. Your body obeys every command. If you’re not a top dog, you’re fucked. I was forced to join his company. To earn my living through his business. The containers weren’t full with what the documents said they were. They were full of drugs, weapons, whatever Siwon and his pack could get their hands on in order to make money on the black market.”

“Is that why Namjoon doesn’t like you?”

Jungkook smirks, “I don’t think that’s the only reason. Haven’t you ever seen how he looks at you?”

“We did fuck once, one night after a really busy night and the two of us had way too much to drink. But we both agreed that it was for the best that it never happened again.” You shake your head. “But don’t try to change the subject.”

“I’m not, just pointing out the obvious.”

“Continue.” you encourage him courtly.

“The beef between Siwon and Nmajoon goes way back, before I was ever turned into a wolf. It’s rare for a city of this size to contain two wolf packs. They were one pack at one point, but Siwon wasn’t happy with how Namjoon ran things. He didn’t understand why wolves were forced to work for the enjoyment of men. Eventually they got in a huge fight and Siwon was able to separate himself from the pack although no one came with him. So he started to turn people like me into wolves. And eventually the company and his pack grew into what it was.”

"If they hate each other then why have I never seen Siwon around? He’s never shown up at the bar.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Siwon knew that if he causes trouble he can lose everything. That Namjoon has the connections to take him and his entire operation down. So he kept the peace. The two packs acted like they had no idea the other existed. ”

“So why did you leave?” How did you leave? Namjoon told me it’s almost impossible for a wolf to leave his pack.“

Jungkook chews on his bottom lip. "I killed almost all of them.”

You know enough about pack dynamics to understand the weight of Jungkook’s actions. “ How?”

“We were at the docks, like always, doing Siwon’s bitch work as we waited for a shipment of cocaine. It was one of the largest orders we were receiving so Siwon had almost every single one of us there that night. My pack had a long history of violence, killing anyone they thought was a threat to their operation. That night a woman was out late with her child. The boy must have been no older than two. You could see in her eyes that she was exhausted and that he must not have been able to fall asleep so she brought him out for a late night walk, hoping that would be enough to get him to go to sleep.”

You interrupt him. “I don’t want to know the rest.”

Jungkook nods. “That was when I realized how far I had fallen. I had realized that this wasn’t how I wanted to live my life. I knew that the only way I was going to be able to escape was to kill them. So I did.”

“You did what?”

Jungkook looks at you with a devilish grin. “I killed his entire pack.”

“Is that why you always leave?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow. “I always come back, don’t I?”

You avoid answering his question. "How did you end up in Namjoon’s bar that night?”

Jungkook nods. “I knew this was one of the only places that his mean wouldn’t cross. A lone wolf wasn’t as much of a threat as a whole pack. But I also know that Siwon would eventually seek out his revenge. That he would come looking for me if he knew I was still in town. So I left. I come back when I know he is out of town and leave once he returns.”

“If your paths never cross then how did you end up with his?” You point at the gash on his eyebrow. “Who was it?”

“There was only one thing left for me to do to gain total freedom.”

You look him in the eyes, staring into his dark irises as you finish the rest of his story. “You killed Siwon.”

“I did what I had to do to protect myself. And to protect the things I love.”

You stare at him, trying to keep the beating of your chest silent as you hope you aren’t reading too much into his words.

Jungkook leans forward, a red flashes across his irises, illuminating the black pupils for only a second before the color disappears. You know that he is on the verge of his senses. That soon the two of you will cross a line into territory you had told yourself over and over again that you would not step back into. His breath tickles your neck as he hovers above your sensitive flesh. You take a deep breath, trying to control your body’s urges every time the wolf is this close to you.

"Are you scared of me, Y/N?” he asks, chuckling in amusement as he hears your heartbeat start to race.

“You’re not the baddest wolf I’ve ever met.” you counter, watching in anticipation for his reaction.

He looks at you out of the corner of his eye, hesitating for a second before diverting his attention to your lips. Jungkook’s chapped lips press into yours with a several month long hunger. Each of you starved for the other’s affections as you re-learn how each other moves. Although it doesn’t take long for the first moan to slip from your lips as he uses his sharp canines to nibble onto your bottom lip.

The touch of his skin has always been warm, but in the dead of winter you know you don’t stand a chance. His fingertips trace a pleasurable burn down your body as he runs one hand down your back and uses the other to tangle his fingertips into your hair. Jungkook’s arms wrap around your waist tightly as if he is scared you’ll disappear if he lets go. As if you could do anything else but kiss him back.

“Come here.” he breathes, giving you a chance to breathe as he lifts you out of your chair, keeping a firm grip around your waist as he clears the bottles of skincare and tubes of lipstick off the top of your vanity. It all falls to the floor with a thud, leaving him with enough space to prop you up against the mirror, letting your head fall gently against the glass before he returns to kissing every inch of skin he can reach with his lips.

“You look fucking amazing in that dress.” he growls in his lower register. His hands traveling across the light blue silk as he tries to control the wolf inside of him. He has already ruined too many of your prettiest dresses and he knows you might actually try to kill him if he destroys this one too.

“Well, you are the one who bought it for me.” You remind him, taking in as much oxygen as you can as he moves from your lips to your neck. His kisses trailing the plunging neckline.

Jungkook’s hands make their way down to your thighs and your whole body shudders. He swiftly spreads your thighs far enough apart to allow his body in between your legs.

“Fuck.” you moan at how assertiveness turns you on as he is the only man who can make you compliant. Your body listening to every word he says, reacting to every single touch, he had you under a spell as if you were a wolf and he was the full moon.

“Can I touch you?” his hands hover over the top of the slit, waiting for permission.

“Please.” you breathe, spreading your legs even further apart to make things easier for him to access.

He doesn’t waste a second more before his fingertips find their way to the lacy fabric of your underwear. Jungkook looks down at the light colored fabric, smiling as he traces the floral pattern.

“If you destroy them, I’ll kill you.” You warn, mourning the countless pairs of underwear the wolf had ripped to shreds over the years.

“It looks like you already have.” he teases, as his finger swipes along the damp patch growing at your core.

He teases his calloused fingertips up and down your clothes slit, making you whimper in anticipation for what he is about to do you, as he has done countless times before. But there is something different about tonight. A sense of urgency filling the room as he hastily grabs onto your underwear, pulling them down and off your ankles before discarding them somewhere into the depths of your dressing room.

The dulling ache of your position against the vanity mirror is nothing in comparison to the heat starting to spread across your body. Jungkook’s fingertip has made its way to your clit, teasing the sensitive bud with quick flicks that make your bite, nibble and moan in the werewolf’s mouth. He starts to pull away, but you quickly grip the back of his head with your hand, keeping his mouth close as he wanders down your throat, licking along your pulse.

A loud moan escapes your lips as you feel his canines graze your skin carefully. Jungkook was reckless, but he was smart enough to know better than to bite you, knowing the implications of leaving his mark on your skin. He takes your moment of vulnerability to sink a finger into your center, groaning as he slips the digit in your wet heat. He starts to move his finger back and forth, mimicking the motions of what he wanted to do to you later.

“I don’t have much time.” you warn him, reading his mind as he slips in another finger into you. You would love nothing more than to lay him on his back and fuck until the two of you were a panting mess on the floor, but the night was still young. And as much as you loved fucking the wolf in front of you, you had bills to pay.

Jungkook leans back to look at you, removing his fingers to take a glimpse at the mess he was making out of you. He asks. “Is that a challenge?”

You roll your eyes at the wolf coming out the man. “Are you going to pay my rent?”

“I can, if you let me.” he scoffs.

You reach out towards his shirt, pulling him as closely as you can. “Touch me.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

Jungkook pushes your legs a part, staring into your eyes as he inserts two of his fingers back into you. He revels in the way you close your eyes, letting your head fall back against the mirror as he fucks you with his digits. He knows your body like a map, knowing where and when to apply pressure that makes you see stars behind your eyelids. You used to be ashamed at how easily he unraveled you with just a fingertip, blushing at how easily he made you come undone. But it had been months and you had missed this (although you would never admit it out loud).

“Fuck!” slips out of your lips as he uses his thumb to apply pressure to your clit, rubbing circles on the sensitive bud as he continues to fuck you into bliss with his hand.

“Come on, baby.” He encourages, recognizing the change in your breathing pattern. He quickens his speed, allowing his muscles to take over as he fucks you closer and closer to the edge.

“I’m gonna cum!” You breathe, rolling your hips to take his fingers in as far as they can and it all becomes too much. You turn into a gasping mess as you grips onto the wolf’s shoulders, bracing yourself as waves of pleasure take over your body. Jungkook’s fingers refusing to stop until the last one finally settles in your toes.

“Come with me.” Jungkook whispers as he rests his forehead against yours.

You laugh. “I’m pretty sure I just did.”

The werewolf shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean, Jungkook?” You ask him for clarification.

“Tonight. Come with me tonight. Leave with me.” There is a desperation in his voice that shocks you, making you realize that even throughout all the times you have stitched up the man in front of you, you had never seen him this vulnerable.

You reach up towards the mess of dark waves on his head and run your fingers through the strands, gently pulling out the knots that somehow always seem to form. The growing silence between the two of you is your answer, but you know you need to say it out loud. “Jungkook, I can’t.”

His eyes flutter open, staring into your soul with their dark irises. “Why not?”

“I have a job!” You cannot hide the frustration in your voice. “I have an apartment. My friends are here. I can’t just leave them Jungkook.”

“I will pay to have someone pack up your things, to ship them to wherever we end up. Or I can just fucking buy you new things.” He starts to plead.

“Jungkoo-”

“Please, Y/N. Please let me protect you. Let me take care of you.”

You wrestle your wrist out of Jungkook’s grip, neither one of you realizing he had a hold on you. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, choosing to focus on the rack of dresses in the corner instead. You blink several times, refusing to let the wolf see you cry over him.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” He asks in defeat, sinking back down into the chair you had stitched him up in.

The truth is, you want you. You want more than anything to believe that he would take care of you. That he would be able to keep you safe from the constant supernatural threats that have entered your life since the moment you stepped foot into this shitty seaside town. Except the responsible part of your brain was screaming at you to remember Namjoon, Yoongi, and the rest of the wolves you had in your life that kept you out of harm’s way the second Jungkook disappeared again. You had a life here, and while it may not be much on paper, you loved it.

“I don’t know what to say.” You admit out loud.

Jungkook immediately stands up. “You don’t have to say anything. I-I-I just thoug-.”

“I’m surprised you thought I would go with you, Jungkook. How am I supposed to believe anything you ever say to me? How much time have we actually spent together outside of this room? How many times have you told me you would come back only to disappear again. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? How worried I get about you? I am terrified that one day you’re going to end up dead and I am only going to find out about it months later. So how can you expect me to just drop my entire life and run away with you?”

He turns away, giving you the cold shoulder as he can’t bring himself to answer your question. His shoulders shudder slightly and for a second you think the wolf in front of you is crying. But Jungkook quickly turns around without a tear in sight. The warmth in his eyes were gone, leaving nothing but blank empty spaces in his irises.

He was shutting down.

“I guess that’s it then.” He tells you coldly, straightening his back to remind you how much taller he is.

“Jungkoo-”

He interrupts you. “I don’t want to hear it. I think you have made your feelings clear. I apologize for everything I put you through, but after tonight I won’t bother you ever again.”

You clamp your mouth shut as you watch him dig through the pockets of his pants. He hands over a small purple velvet pouch. “Take it.”

The taste of blood fills your mouth as you bite the inside of your cheek as you try to distract yourself from the pain filling in your chest as you take it from his hands. You open it, revealing a silver chain and pendant. A heart shaped locket hung at the end of the chain, but it was too wide to be an ordinary locket.

“You don’t have to open it.” He tells you just as your fingertips reached for the hinge. “It’s full of herbs that will keep you safe. Vampires, demons, witches. Even wolves.”

You can feel the tears start to break from your bottom lash line. “Thank you.”

Jungkook shrugs. “It’s the least I can do, after everything I have put you through. Please, take care of yourself, Y/N.”

The sound of his footsteps are the final straw and you feel your heart break into a thousand pieces as he closes the door behind you, leaving you alone to pick up the pieces once again.

You don’t know how much time has passed or how many tears you have cried before you can finally feel the pain in your chest turn into a dull ache. You sniffle, reaching towards the tissues to wipe the mascara tears away from your cheeks. If you go back out into the bar Namjoon and everyone else will know you’ve been crying. That tonight is just like every other night when Jungkook was involved.

With a deep breath you try to pull yourself together. You powder your face and touch up your lipstick before running your fingers back through your hair and putting each strand back into place. You don’t bother trying to find the underwear you had been wearing, choosing instead to pick a fresh pair from the stock you kept in your vanity. It was after the third time you and Jungkook had slept together that you realized you needed to keep extra clothing in stock as he couldn’t always keep the wolf inside of him in check.

You turn around, taking your time as you look around the dressing room. There was nothing that he hadn’t touched. That didn’t have a memory attached to the man that had just walked out of your life for the last time.

What really was keeping you here? The seaside town was never meant to become your home. It was supposed to be temporary. A place where you could find your footing after leaving college. You were only supposed to stay for a few months, but then it became a few years. Sure, you loved your job. Namjoon, Yoongi, and the rest of the boys took care of you. They made sure you had what you needed but there wasn’t room for growth. It’s not like you could get promoted. This is all there was. And you knew that.

Maybe it was time for you to leave, for you to figure out what the hell was out there in the rest of the world.

“God damn it, Jungkook.” You mutter under your breath.

You lift the light blue silk off your frame and quickly change into your every day clothes. Your fingers fumble with the buttons of your jeans as you try to get them on. The sweater gets stuck on your head, making you question if this was the universe telling you to stay in place.

You take a look around your dressing room, trying to figure out if there was anything else you couldn’t leave without. You yank a few dressed off the hangers, shoving them and the light blue dress into your bag that becomes full to the brim.

“That’s it.” You say goodbye to the room, smiling at all the memories you’ll hold dear in your heart.

As soon as you open the door and step out into the bar, now full to the brim with customers, you make eye contact with Namjoon. The glass he was washing in his hand comes to stand still as the two of you stare at each other from across the room. He shakes his head knowingly, telling you in his own way that he knows exactly what you’re doing and just wants you to be safe.

“If he hurts a single hair on your body, I’ll gut him alive.” Yoongi whispers as he walks past towards his piano.

“You and me both.” You smile before weaving your way through the crowd and out the door.

The rain had stopped, leaving behind puddles and pavement that that reflected the dim street lights. The smell of smoke drifts through the night breeze from the docks and Jungkook’s handiwork. You hope that there wasn’t too much damage to the piers surrounding Siwon’s. Those people didn’t deserve to have their source of income damaged. They were innocent.

You look around, trying to figure out what direction the wolf could have gone. It certainly wasn’t towards the dock, so you turn around and walk in the opposite direction. You steps quicken as you cross every deserted street. There was no one around, not a single wolf in sight. You reach the end stretch of town and have to make a decision. You can turn left and go home or you can turn right and see what lies ahead of you on the outskirts.

The overwhelming fear of being too late rises in your chest and you hope that this wasn’t the case. You back a decision and turn towards the right and immediately slam into what feels like a brick wall.

“Why are you walking home late at night, by yourself? Have I not told you a hundred times to be smart?” Jungkook growls.

“I was looking for you, you asshole!” you cross your arms in front of your chest.

“Why? So you can tell me how fucking terrible I am?” Bitterness lace his words.

You smack him as hard as you can in the chest, but his body barely moves. “Jeon Jungkook, if you ever leave me like that again, I am going to gut you myself!”

“Okay, Yoongi.” The wolf rolls his eyes before finally processing the words you had just said. He takes a step closer to you, hesitantly reaching out to hold your waist. “What did you just say?”

You stare at him, reaching up to brush his hair out of his face. “I said that if you ever leave me like that again, I am going to gut you myself.”

He presses his forehead against yours. “I promise, I won’t.”

You take a deep breath. “I want to believe you, Jungkook. I really do.”

“I’ll prove it to you.” He pulls you in closer, unable to hide the eagerness in his voice.

“Please don’t make me regret this, Jungkook. Please don’t make me regret falling in love with you.” You stare back at him.

“I won’t. I love you too much to ever let you out of my sight.” he places a gentle kiss on your lips before whispering. “Now where do you want to go?”

You take a second to think as a gust of cold air sends a shiver through your spine and gives you your answer. “Somewhere warm.”

Jungkook smiles. “I think I know the perfect place.”

[everlastingauthor]

Hi! This is my first time seeing your blog and it looks amazing! I was wondering do you take writing requests? If you don't, it's okay. I was wondering how would Shanks react if someone insulted his lover by saying "You shouldn't have been born" or "Your existence causes a lot of suffering" to them? How would the Red-Haired pirates react?

Their Reactions

➣ Tags: Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, Gender Neutral Reader, Insults, Angst, Abuse, & Comfort

➣ Media: One Piece

➣ Request Open: ☑Yes | No

➣ Author's Note: Almost crashed out because I originally written this earlier and was happily about to post it only for Tumblr to say bad connection and delete my process, I was about to just do it tomorrow but I'm not going to let Tumblr make me crash out. So here's the request I decided to throw in Mihawk and Buggy. If you like my content follow me, if you like this silly fic then heart, comment, and share. Please do not re upload my work anywhere else or feed it an ai bot.

Shanks

You had been shopping in town with Shanks, you wanted to get some supplies and food for the ship since the crew would be set sailing tonight, and you of course always set sail with your strawberry colored haired boyfriend. You decide to make creamy garlic chicken and roasted vegetables for the crew tonight, as you and Shanks walked through the market, you walked up to a fruit stand seeing the delicious peaches and oranges, fruits were definitely high on the list and you could make a nice peach pie for dessert. " How can I help you? " The man said, but you and fruit seller both froze up when your gaze locked on each other. This fruit seller was an old boyfriend of yours someone that you broke with because they were toxic and controlling, you couldn't handle their cruel words or trying to control every aspect of your life, and whenever you tried to breakup with them, they would break down and gaslight you into staying trapped in the relationship, so that instead of breaking up you ran away from them. Five months later and you were in a relationship with Shanks. " [Reader] " The fruit seller named Mark's tone was cold. You turned towards Shank and gave a weary smile. " Let's go get fruit from a different stand. " You asked, a bit of pleading in your voice.

Shanks could sense your discomfort and nodded his head, as you and Shanks began walking away Mark spoke out again. " Go ahead run away, like you always do like you did from us that's your existence causes a lot of suffering, you caused me a lot of suffering! " Mark's voice filled with anger and distaste. You stopped in your tracks and shoved the bags into Shanks arms along with the list, if there's one thing Shanks knew about you is that you didn't let anyone get away with talking shit to you, so he watched as you stomped up to the fruit stand to confront your ex. " Suffering? I caused you suffering!? I ran off because you were a selfish bastard and a control freak, so of course I ran away because I couldn't have a normal breakup or relationship with you! " You pressed down on your words believing each one. " I'm glad I ran away because I found someone way greater than you, I pray the next person you get with doesn't have to witness the pain and horrors you cause to feel so big. " With that you turned away and walked off.

Shanks watched as you took the bags and list from his hands and walked away, Shanks knew with how heated you were that you would forget the fruit, so he walked up to Mark's stand and began putting fruit in the bag as Mark stood there fuming. " That's my [Reader] always fierce and doesn't let anyone push her around, but be glad that they went off your with words, because I wouldn't use words but I don't want to ruin this amazing market or this delicious looking fruit. Hopefully your next relationship is as fresh and healthy as these oranges. " Shanks grinned placing the right amount of berries into Mark's hand. " Have a good day. " Shanks walked away catching up with you. Back at the ship he let you vent your frustrations and feelings, as you two cuddled in bed.

Buggy

You had been dating Buggy was quite a while, you joined his crew after he fell in love with your humor and eyes. Oh how your jokes made him laugh until his sides hurt and he could always get lost in your eyes. While Buggy loved having you on board some of the crews members didn't especially Micheal, he couldn't handle Buggy's favoritism over you. How Buggy didn't give you much to do, yell at you, or let you sleep in for however long you wanted. Michael also found your talkative behavior and jokes annoying, he sometimes wished that whenever the ship was attacked that you would die first. While Buggy was making plans with some crew members, you went to go get some sun on your skin. Micheal and three other crew members named Slice, Molly, and Apollo were playing cards, you wanted in on the game and asked to join of course Molly and Apollo told you to hop on it, Micheal rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. As the game began you were on a wining streak always having good cards and a good poker face. Once in awhile you would tell jokes that would make Apollo and Molly laugh, but Micheal didn't he just tried to bite his tongue.

But this didn't last long especially when you kept beating Micheal. " Well, I guess that's game looks like my ability at cards is unmatched. " You grinned proudly as Apollo and Molly congratulate you for winning but Micheal sat there pouting like a child who just got their candy taken away. " Aw, come on Mikey turn that smile upside down it's just a game, you'll win next time just not against me. " You teased. " Just shut up already, you are so damn annoying, I only tolerate you because of Captain Buggy this ship would be so much more peaceful and better, if you weren't born you shouldn't have been born! " Micheal yelled. You sat there stunned with Molly and Apollo, tears began pricking in your eyes as you ran off. Micheal didn't care that he made you cry but when he saw Apollo and Molly's scared faces looking at something behind him, he turned around but it wasn't something but someone. It was Buggy with a cold look and a snarl, Micheal swallowed hard and tried to explain himself even tried to get Molly and Micheal to back him up but those two were gone, it was just Micheal and Buggy.

Buggy eventually found you in the the cabin that you two shared, crying into a pillow on your side of the bed, Buggy laid down pulled you close to him. " You're not annoying and I'm glad you were born sugarplum, you make me the happiest clown through the entire sea, Michael has lost left our circus business and will no longer bother you ever again~ " Buggy rubbed your back. You knew what that meant and buried your face in Buggy's chest appreciating your boyfriend's comfort.

Mihawk

You were once a marine but only because your mother wanted you to follow in her footsteps, she would push you so hard to the point it became abuse, so when you finally became a marine. You came across Mihawk and the two of you fell in love, of course your mother would never approve, she already wanted to set you up with another marine that was up to her standards. Your mother never forgave you for running away with Mihawk and your position at the marines, but you couldn't care less you were happy with Mihawk and he was happy with you. Since you and Mihawk had been dating for a long time, your anniversary was on Friday and Mihawk planned to take you out to dinner, the two of you helped each other get ready and arrived at the restaurant, it was beautiful and the food smelled delicious. " They say this place as the best wine, I'll be the judge of that. " Mihawk said pulling out your chair. You rolled your eyes, knowing how much your boyfriend loved wine. As you picked up your menu to look, you froze up hearing a familiar voice at the table. You turned your head seeing your mother drinking with some marines, your mother noticed your gaze and the two of you stared at each. You turned your head away quickly and focused on your menu well tried to focus and calm yourself. " Are you okay dearest? " Mihawk asked.

You nodded your head. " Yes, I'm fine let's just order. " You gave a weary smile. Mihawk could tell you weren't fine but didn't press the manner he would ask when you are both back home, the two of you went through dinner talking and laughing you had forgotten about your mother. Once you and Mihawk finished dinner and dessert, you two were ready to head home. As you guys waited for the check, your mother walked over intoxicated on whatever she was drinking, as her icy cold glare was on you. " Oh, look its the two love birds. " Your mother held onto the table leaning in close to you as you shrank in your seat. " I see you and him are still together when you could have been with Tony, your existence causes me a lot of suffering more than when I birthed you, you shouldn't have been more you ungrateful little - " Your mother words were cut short as Mihawk had his sword at her neck. " I would refrain from talking to my partner in such a manner unless you want to lay across this table like a check. " Mihawk withdrew his sword as your mother stood there trembling, Mihawk walked over to you. " Let's go [Reader]. " Mihawk offered his hand as the two of you left, Mihawk told you the whole night how much you mean to him and that he was grateful you came into existence.

[befemininenow]

My coming out as a trans lesbian. (A message to my followers.)

Yes, everyone. I am "gay", or should I say, I'm a lesbian.

This may come as a shock to some of you since I would talk about "hot men" and even make captions about attracting hunks and whatnot. If you notice an absurd amount of those kind of captions surfacing this past week until now, that's because I was dealing with comphet, short for compulsive heterosexuality. In reality, I do not like men nor am I attracted to masculinity.

Why until now? One, it’s because I wanted to wait for the right time to come out and it was coincidentally on Lesbian Visibility Day. Two, it’s something I've been questioning ever since I found out I was trans. This didn’t happen in a day or two. It’s been years and I would have thought I was just pansexual. However, I was not sure whether I genuinely liked boys or if I just liked their validation. It turns out it's only the latter and I was questioning whether I was really gay or just gynosexual. I admit that getting positive reception from them turned me on and I could see the kindness and affection they displayed towards other women (something that really made me euphoric). But the moment you would place me next them for more, say, intimacy (I'm trying to keep it PG), I felt that spark turn off. Don't even get me started when they're bare or worse, send me D-picks (it's so nasty).

Now, I've never did any of that IRL. But, I've tried to interact with them through social sites. Not just in Tumblr, but in other sites like Grindr. If you ever think of creating a Grindr to meet, don't bother. It's hot garbage! All of them were chasers and not a single one was attractive. Only one "guy" seemed to be "cute"; it was a femboy, who was commencing their transition into a woman. Those were the only men I thought I was attracted to, but the reality is: I was only attracted to their femininity, but not their body or intimacy. Femboys are still men and I'm not attracted to men.

That got me questioning: Am I really only liking people for their femininity or do I genuinely only like girls? To make a long story short, I've never felt so much better than imagining myself being the lovely girl... of another girl! I always loved women as a guy, but now that I'm about to transition, being into women as a girl feels so right for me! No more comphet for me!

I know this is not the norm on these kind of blogs as the majority tend to be attracted to masculinity. However, I do want to say that even trans lesbians exist on the feminization scene. That leads me to tell all of you for the next update: You won't be seeing anymore new straight trans girl captions after the first few days of the next month. That's why you saw those kind of captions bombard my blog these past few days. It's just my way of saying "Let me just get it done with". I'm actually glad you enjoyed them, but I just don't feel any connection to those kind of captions anymore. I'll try to upload them when I can since I've been busier than usual.

Anyways, I'm happy you read this very long post. Even if you're not a lesbian, I hope this note at least gives you an insight on not keeping your true feelings locked any longer. Everyone deserves to be themselves. You should too.

Sincerely, Nikki.

[doyoulikethis-videogame-song]

Hello,

I'd just like to clarify a few things going forward, because I think a few people might be upset or confused, and this is a silly gimmick blog, so I don't think there's any need for that.

I post submissions exclusively in the order I receive them. I have only added or inserted songs in three cases:

The first two songs posted on this blog.

#69, where I inserted 'Weight of the World' from NieR:Automata.

The song would not upload to tumblr, and I have typically replaced it with a random fromsoftware song off the top of my head, because I already have the OSTs on my computer.

When I receive multiple songs from the same game in a row, I try my best to space them out between multiple songs. This has typically been every 4-6 songs in the past. I am going to extend this number further as it appears to be a source of frustration for some. When I space out songs, I do not consider DLCS/Extras as new games, so they will be spaced out. I DO consider new entries in a series as new games, so they will not be spaced out. This means you may get a song from Dark Souls I and Dark Souls II right next to one another, but never two songs from Dark Souls I.

I also understand that many are upset that their submission has not been posted yet. At the time of creating the google form, I already had the first 1000 slots of this blog lined up. I now have 4581 additional submissions from the google form, so please understand that it will probably take me a while to reach your submission.

As for how I should remedy this:

Posting more songs each day. I am planning to increase the number of songs I post each day soon. However, I would strongly prefer to not exceed more than five songs a day. This is entirely a personal preference: I often found myself annoyed when my feed was filled with nothing but polls from the same blog, that would post 7, 10, 15 polls a day or even within the same time slot. I love poll blogs, but I also wanted to be able to enjoy taking the time to listen to the music on each one. I created this blog primarily because I wanted to hear new music and find out about new games I've never heard about before, and I wanted others to share that experience. In my opinion, if you don't have the time to listen to each song posted, then it sort of defeats the gimmick of the blog itself. That being said, I will increase the number of songs posted sometime within the next two weeks.

Closing Submissions. I did not want to ever have to close submissions (because I didn't really see a reason to if I was going to post all the submissions eventually), but I now understand it may now be necessary. Starting on 9/7/2024, I am going to close the submissions box, and I am going to reopen it for the first week of each month, every month, only. The google form will remain the only way to submit requests. Hopefully, this will allow individuals who are especially excited to see their request posted gain a bit of an upper hand.

In the end, there is only so much I can do. I am only one person and I do have a life of my own. I am very happy so many people are enjoying this blog, and I will continue posting for as long as I can. If you are not enjoying this blog for any reason, feel free to unfollow it, block it, and make your own. It's nothing personal.

[brights-place]

⋆˚࿔ 【 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞‼ - Aftermath Of The Halls 】 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Read The full book on my wattpad

I upload there before tumblr

A males voice filled with annoyance echoed in the hallways "Honestly! This year's orientation was terrible! that boy ruined it!" Riddle stood in the hallway with a scowl plastered on his face fists balled up as if he was going to choke something or someone.

"Now, now." Trey patted a hand on Riddle is the shoulder slightly squeezing it tight the vice-housewarden walking just behind his lower classman smiling softly  "We got everything under control, thanks to you Riddle." He added on watching as the red haired male is heart ahoge bobbed.

Riddle turned slightly to look at Trey over his shoulder "Who did that boy think he was?!" Riddle fumed, still not entirely over the mishap from the ceremony. Trey sighed "Riddle-" Riddle cut off Trey still red faced "He was so cocky! That look in his eyes!" "Riddle" Trey repeated trying to get Riddles attention "And don't get me started how cocky he looked when he tackled me- Oh don't get me started when he said that the queen of hearts liked him! Someone our age would never met her unless they were fae and-" "Riddle" Trey said slightly louder making Riddle face his upperclassman with a sour face "He was a She" silence slowly filled the hallways as Riddles red face dimmed blinking at Trey if he just spoke in a differnet language.

Riddle blinked “The boy with h/c hair and purple highlights?” “Yes” “The one who shoved me down?” “Yes Riddle” silence filled the two once more before Trey sighed.

"It was her first day, although I'm not sure if she'll be remaining on school grounds since the Dark Mirror said she was the daughter of a seven... plus crowley was quick to deny it too" He responded hoping that condoling his housewarden would get him in a better mood so he wouldn't be as strict with the new students in the welcoming party.

Trey witnessed how Riddle spoke up once more face not as red as before yet still aggravated "Even so if she was a woman that does not give her an excuse along with that beast that invade the ceramony" Riddle sighed as Trey continued to walk beside Riddle down the hallway tuening a corner "I'm sure Crowley's sorted it all out by now they've most likely been sent home by now and the monster removed from campus." He suggested feeling a little calmer as the redness of Riddle's face faded.

"Yes but If I do recall the mirror has stated quite many things along with the fact you have corrected me that the he is a she... if she was the daughter of a seven which one we must demand from crowley-" "Riddle! Trey!" Riddle was cut off by Cater as the ginger haired male rounded the corner the same time as the two waving a hand at them with a cherry smile "The new students are all assembled for the welcoming party." He hummed.

Riddle nodded his head his own hand placing onto his hip as he stared down the ginger "Thank you for the report, Cater. Has the venue been prepared in accordance with the laws of the Queen of Hearts?" Riddle stared intensly at his upperclassman silver eyes eyeing Caters face  "I assume the roses have been painted in an alternating pattern of red and white?"

Cater grinned one hand holding his phone that he moved slightly as he beamed "Naturally! They're perfect"

"Very well" Riddle stated in acknowledgement to the response walking past Cater to resume his trail to the hall of mirrors "Then let us hurry back to the dorms." Riddle froze after a few steps turning to look over his shoulder at his upper classmen with furrowed brows "If I see anymore trouble both of your heads will roll" His voice laced with authority "Remember that." "Yes, Housewarden." The two answered in sync staying still as Riddle turned back away from the both of them and continued to walk down the halls shoes tapping against the floor once more.

Cater let out a soft sigh, shoulders slouching as the smile slid off his face. "Good thing we finished repainting the roses in time..." He whispered reaching up to fiddle with one of the two loose strands that were in his face "You sure work me hard Trey." Trey glanced at the ginger from the corner of his eye giving cager a small smile.

Voice close to a whisper and kept quiet so the younger red haired make wouldn't hear Trey spoke "Thanks for your hard work, Cater." "So where did the girl with highlights go?" Cater questioned quietly having left much earlier than the rest of the students before Crowley had sent them all out of the mirror chamber "Crowley should've sent her back home by now considering what the Dark Mirror said about their soul... though I would of thought he'd let her stay but he went on a tangent about how she was a girl" Trey's answer was flat his eyes focusing on the path in front of him but lingering on the back of Riddle's head in concern.

"Aww... I was hoping I could've gotten a pic with her for Magicam... I could of gotten massive likes" Cater pouted shoulders slouching over a bit more in disappointment "We rarely get freshie's who acutally have good fashion taste" Trey hummed used to Caters constant blabbers about Magicam "Riddle didn't seem very fond of her... even though he thought she was a boy..." He whispered a bad feeling settling in his stomach over how quickly Riddle took a dislike to the girl especially when he saw Riddle nearly lash out on the girl for saying that she knew the queen of hearts and she liked her.

Cater gave the green-haired boy a look before grinning"Chill out, Trey. Riddle's uptight about everything it'll be fineeee." The ginger laughed off glancing over at Riddle to make sure the redhead hadn't heard him before whispering "Plus, we got a party to get too so have some fun and relax for once." Cater suggested wiggling his brows giving his dorm's vice-housewarden an easygoing grin.

"Or~" Cater said in a melody tone "You could always bake some more photogenic dishes..." He suggested giving Trey a shoulder nudge to see if he could pull out a couple more pics for his Magicam posts.

Cater just received a small grin in response Trey adjusting his glasses as he replied "I thought you said all the new Heartslabyul students were gathered and waiting."

Cater flinched at Treys words widening, and eyebrows furrowed as he was gawking at Trey Trey grinned at his friend a smug look forming on his face "I don't think you'll be taking many photos this year since you're suppose to be taking care of all the freshmen Cater." Cater's expression fell as a guilty look spread across his face as he fiddled with a strand of hair again a nervse habit Trey picked up on from his friend "I thought you forgot about that..." He complained earning a small chuckle from Trey.

The sound of Riddle's heels against the tiling came to a halt making both pause their conversation and focus back on their housewarden who'd turned to face them with a harsh glare to make them silent as they returned back to walking

The two stayed quiet following along behind their housewarden one focused on the redhead while the other was focused on his phone tapping his thumb against his screen to distract himself.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 / 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 【Hexes & Hushes — MASTERLIST】

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