#I have been thinking about writing this post for weeks but brain keeps going “ok but what if there's an exception”

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

You can always put a traditional instrument in your modern music genre. It is always morally correct.

[syntheticsymp]

OK, I’ve been obsessed with that man for YEARS and that post about Nikto is one of my biggest headcanons (although there are also other drugs that do the same thing but do the opposite by increasing libido… so I’m sure if he/they knew they’d switch him off immediately, just so he could have his precious little thing shaking and screaming desperately for him, lol). So, figuring he still has dysfunction issues and is a very proud man, I think he’d be pretty good with his hands… I mean, he doesn’t need his dick to make you cum and he’ll prove it… (although I wouldn’t mind using it as a pacifier… ehh… just saying…).

*forehead kiss* Babes, I love the way your brain works. I am obsessed with this. Just thinking about this scenario gave me so many ideas. Nikto is one of the characters I love writing most for because his personality/personalities are so complex. I'd love to hear more of your headcannons because this man deserves more in-depth analysis.

-

If Nikto’s libido was high, god save his girl. He's not a kind man in the slightest, meaning you'd practically be a living sex toy for him. Round after round, not caring if you passed out on him, which you did many times.

Luckily, his medication was switched back about a week later after he got on it. But not before you were thoroughly molded to fit his stupidly thick cock. You sported a small limp for about a month, but Nikto didn't seem to mind carrying you room to room. It was the closest he could get to apologizing to you.

However, going back on his regular meds came with another problem. His ED was far worse than before. He went to KorTac’s doctor for it, but after being told there wasn't a good solution unless he wanted to go off meds altogether, he put that doctor’s head through a wall. His poor girl would stay empty for a long time. That's what truly irked him, the idea that you would forget how he feels inside you. That you would see him as inadequate. It didn't matter how many times you assured him otherwise, the voices in the back of his head were loud enough to speak over you.

Nikto was never good with affection. The two ways he knew how to show it was either physically doing something for you, or sex. Now that the latter was off the table, he was trying something more… your speed. It wasn’t really working. He wasn’t exactly one for change.

You, on the other hand, were growing used to him. His violent mood swings, what to do during his episodes, everything. The life you had before him was fading the longer you stayed locked inside with him. You started minding this less and less. After all, he claimed he loved you.

Though, he could only give you the closest thing to love he was capable of, if he was capable of love at all.

His hand lazily pet your head as he read some book in Russian. You were perched between his legs, cheek resting against his thigh, lazily pressing kisses to his soft cock. You alternated between that, licking fat stripes down his shaft, and sucking on his one remaining ball. He had lost the other during Mr. Z’s torture, that much he had told you. Occasionally, he'd give you a grunt of recognition, communicating that he appreciated your actions. Though, his lips stayed shut.

This wasn't for sexual reasons. He got nothing out of this, no pleasure aside from the knowledge that he had you wrapped around his finger. Which, oh, he loved seeing you so desperate that you'd suck so diligently on his cock, soft or not. But you knew the truth. You knew this was a tactic to keep you close and quiet while he read his book. You didn't mind, not really.

At least whatever medicine he was on now kept his libido at a dismal. Keeping up with him otherwise would be a nightmare.

Most of your nights with him, when he wasn't disassociating or trying to kill you, were like this. Quiet. Content. Nikto and his little pet. No brutality bleeding over from his job, no voices convincing him to choke you out, just silent affection. He was trying so hard to prove he wasn't rotted on the inside, that he loved you.

Then, Krueger decided to make a comment at work. That man was single-handedly the reason for most of Nikto’s bad moods. Usually, Nikto could block out his partner’s constant dirty jokes and babbling about old war stories, but some things he took a little too personally.

“How’s that little birdy of yours doing?”

That was enough to stop Nikto in his tracks. How had Krueger known about you? It wasn’t like Nikto had told him, or anyone for that matter. You were his, his to keep, his to protect. If your name got out at work, you could get hurt. Nikto knew the consequences of loose lips all too well.

So, Nikto didn’t answer. A glare would do.

He greatly underestimated his teammate’s need to harass whoever was closest. Most people assumed Nikto was the cruelest of the duo, when in reality, it was Krueger. He may hide it behind his signature toothy grin, but Krueger was downright evil, if evil truly existed. The only reason he hadn’t been fired was because he was a valuable asset. KorTac needed its monsters. No sane person would go on the missions Krueger and Nikto did so willingly.

“She’s cute,” Krueger continued. “If she ever needs a proper fuck, send her to me. Poor thing deserves someone who can actually make her come.”

It had been a joke. Nikto knew that. He worked with Krueger for long enough to know how the Austrian messed around. Still, that didn’t stop the comment from replaying in Nikto’s mind over and over. The voices whispered it to him over and over.

Even two days later, when he finally arrived home from deployment, it was still on his mind.

He could make you come. He had done so before, on the rare occasion that the medicine didn’t betray him. Sure, it hadn’t been recent, but he could. Besides, you cared about him anyway. You promised him you did. You wouldn’t lie to him.

Right?

He willed his brain to shut up as he took off his muddy boots, puttng them in their place by the door. It was late. You were probably asleep by now. He could simply get your reassurnce in the morning.

But, then again, why should he have to wait? He had been patient enough when finding you, carefully stalking you, bidding his time before bringing you here. Now that you were his, he shouldn’t have to wait.

Nikto didn’t care to use his stealth training when he moved through his house. He lived there, after all.

He pushed the door to his bedroom open, only to find it empty. Once again, the voices started whispering their honeyed poison.

She must have left us!

You were foolish to leave her.

Krueger was right. You couldn’t please her. You’re the reason we are alone.

Using the heel of his palm, he hit his temple. Did it help? Not really. But it gave him a reprieve, the feeling of physically beating the voices in his head back helping in its own way.

“Nikto?”

He snapped out of his daze. The voices receded. They weren’t far, just at his fingertips, but quieted enough that he could hear you through the fog.

“Yes.” His words were detached, like always. “It is us.”

You were sleeping on the couch, the pink blanket he had purchased for you when you first ‘moved in’ wrapped around your shoulders. You must have stayed up late watching one of your silly TV programs again.

“Are you…” It was important you choose your next words carefully. Nikto was never ‘ok’ and if you brought that up, it would cause a conversaion you did not feel like having at three in the morning. Asking about his deployment would only lead to reliving the memories, and then send his mind right back to that mindset. “Are you my Nikto?”

He nodded. Yes, of course, he was yours. Not the violent alter ego, not the one that wanted to watch you squirm and cry. No, he was the closest personality to sane that existed in his mind.

Sitting up a little straighter, you scooted over to the side of the couch, then pat the spot beside you. Oh, to think six months ago you were doing whatever you could to escape him.

Instead of joining you, Nikto took off his mask. You no longer stared at his scars, they had become more familiar to you than any normal facial structure. The chunk of missing flesh where his cheek once was, exposing his teeth, and the chemical burns that singed off most of his ear and molded part of his eye shut was simply the only face you knew. His short hair was messy with sweat from being hidden in that mask for so long.

Then, he placed his hand on the back of your neck, leaning down to meet you. He pressed his lips to yours forcefully, parting his lips to allow his tongue to slip through. He didn’t waste time when it came to tasting you, he never did.

The sleepy moan that escaped your parted lips was the closest thing a monster like him could get to heaven. Your mouth was warm in a way he was always chasing, hoping that it could somehow thaw the cold that had taken over his heart.

With your half-closed eyes and sleepy state, he quickly had you pinned to the couch, his hands shoving the blankets to the side.

You pulled back for just a moment to breathe before he pulled your back in. He needed to forget about the battlefield, about Krueger, about the voices constantly reminding him of himself. He breathed you in, lungs rattling, the long, scarred-over slit on the side of his nose causing a familiar whistle,

He kept you caged, pressing his crotch against yours. Only to find, once again, that he was soft.

He pulled back, hissing beneath his breath. Your eyes were wide, your eyelashes fluttering in a way that was so delectable. He wanted to fuck you, he knew he did. So why couldn’t he?

Maybe Krueger was right. What kind of man was Nikto if he couldn’t even fill you with his seed? Not that he wanted any of those snot-filled brats, but with you, he still wanted the option. He wanted you all round and pretty for him.

Instead, you were stuck with something broken. A damaged man who had thought he was worthy of you. You were his, he made sure of it. Yet there was always that doubt.

Seeing he had stopped, you started to scoot out from under him. Only for his hand to find it’s natural place on your throat, squeezng enough to keep you still. You had been in this position enough times to know that the worst possible thing to do was to fight him.

“You have been good for us while we were gone, yes?” He hummed, his Russian accent always seeming stronger after he had been gone for so long.

With the pressure on your windpipe, you could only get out a few words. “Yes. I-I have.”

The corners of his lips twitched up and his scars twisted in a way that looked painful. “Then a reward is overdue.”

Your eyes widened as his hand went to push up the shirt you had stolen from him to wear. Like always, you weren’t wearing pants. He never allowed you to, and always threw a fit if you did. Another one of his strange rules. Even if he couldn’t use your pussy the way he wanted to, he still wanted access.

He swiped his finger agonizingly slow up your slit, not entering, simply collecting your slick.

You shuttered underneath him, an action so innocent he couldn’t help finding so beautiful all on its own. All your little reactions, he had them committed to memory.

“Nik-“ You squeaked, nearly going cross-eyed. He hadn’t been intimate with you in a way that stimulated you in a long time. It had only made you that much more desperate.

“Needy thing,” he tutted. “Did you miss us that much?”

The words falling from his lips did nothing to distract you from the way he pressed his thumb against your clit, rolling the bundle of nerves between his fingers. The scars and ridges embedded into his skin rubbed against you in a way that was impossibly perfect.

“Yes!” You blurted out, “I missed you, all of you, so much!”

Tears began to form behind your eyes, and for once, they weren’t caused by pain. He inserted his pointer finger, slowly sinking it into the joint as your walls clenched around him. It wasn't as thick as his cock, but it wasn't bad. With his thumb, he kept stimulating pressure on your clit.

Back, years ago, when Nikto was still ‘Andre,’ he had been a bit of a playboy. His face was handsome in all the right ways, with a sharp jawline and nice facial harmony. Girls, and a few guys, often had interest in him, but he rarely reciprocated any genuine feelings. Nobody ever said he was a good man before he became a monster. He had left many girls crying after breaking up with them, not so much as batting an eye at their tears. But that experience gave him something. The man knew how to use his hands.

Granted, he hadn’t had to in some time, but he certainly remembered. Besides, it wasn't too hard to please you.

He curled his finger inside of you, causing you to squirm beneath him. Then, he started pumping.

Each motion was slow and deliberate. When he was having sex with you, the few times he could, they were all rapid and frenzied, like he was more animal than human. Whatever he was giving to you now was different. Soft, but causing stars in your eyes.

Your hands found their way to his shoulders, clinging desperately. It wasn't like you to get worked up so easily, but something about his languid touch, how his finger fit inside you, was other-worldly. The fabric of his hoodie was bunched in your palms as you moaned beneath him.

Warmth pooled in your stomach.

Then, Nikto suddenly pulled his hand away, leaving you as empty as you were before.

“Hey!” You squeaked out, sitting straight up, only for him to push you back down.

The look in his blue eyes was familiar. Dangerous.

At that moment, you realized something. This wasn’t truly for you. Nikto wasn't trying to get you off just to make you happy, even if it was some twisted type of ‘reward.’ He was doing this for himself.

“You do not come until we say so.” He bit out the words like they owe him money, his R’s rolled in a way that was simply delectable.

You nodded quickly, doing whatever it took to get him to continue.

And, after a moment, he did. He resumed toying with your clit, his easy thrusts, he even threw in a second finger once he thought you could handle it. You picked up on his rhythm, practically humping his hand. Perhaps you truly did miss him.

Your first orgasm came easy. Hot, thick spurts of cum slid down his hand, wetting the cuff of his hoodie, leaving you breathless. You expected him to pull his fingers back out after that.

He did not.

He picked up right back where he left off, the aftershocks of your orgasm leaving you even more sensitive.

“Hang on, wait,” you tried to say and move away.

Only to once again find his free hand on your throat, holding you down. This time, he was not as kind to your pussy. His thrusts got deeper, harsher. And those damned baby-blue eyes were fixated on the way you took him. The way your cunt swallowed his fingers, the cum sqeulching as he pushed in, made him swallow.

“No.”

Making you cum once was not enough. He had so much lost time to make up for. Curling his fingers in, thrusting so deep he swore he could feel your womb, sloppily making out to swallow your moans, it was all he ever needed.

You lost count of how many times you came. He did not. A chorus of your screams and his rough, Russian words filled his home. Luckily for him, the two of you were far enough away from society that nobody would walk in. He didn't have to hold back or muffled your pretty voice.

The night dragged on for hours, his hands never seeming to get tired. Nikto had the training of a soldier and the endurance of one as well. Not even the devil himself could pull him off of you. All he could do was stare at you, never growing tired of your expressions, the ratio of pleasure to pain finally at a balance.

It was around seven in the morning when Nikto decided he was done with your reward. You had passed out around twenty minutes earlier and couldn't take another round, not even unconscious. So he scooped you up and finally, finally took you to bed. While he didn't need sleep, you did.

He brushed your hair out of your face as you lay in his lap. You were just awake enough to tug gently at the elastic of his pants.

With a small twitch of his lips, Nikto did as you wanted, and pulled down his pants just enough to free himself. Even after everything he did to you, every mind-numbingly hot face you made, he was still soft.

But, for whatever reason, he no longer felt guilty about it. How could he, when you sleepily slipped the thing into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip, just wanting to have him there.

This was probably his favorite ‘welcome home’ he had ever received after a deployment. His fears had been wiped away so easily.

Nikto had no clue why Krueger’s words had gotten to him. Clearly, Nikto could make his precious little thing cum as many times as you needed, as many as he wanted. And you seemed more than happy to fall asleep on his lap, face buried in his crotch, using his cock as a pacifier. He was wrong to ever doubt that.

You were made for him just as he was made for you. Forever and always, you were his.

[keferon]

Ok so, I've got a little something that's been eating in my head for the past hour or so

So, from as far as i am aware, it depends on the iteration of him, but I've seen a few posts talking about how Ratchet is, first and foremost, a healer, and he wants to help people no matter what. But he's stuck under the terrible circumstances of war, and can't save everyone (not like he can always save everyone, even without a war, but it gets alot more challenging). How he even sometimes helps decepticons!

And so, for the mecha au, i kept thinking: Ratchet having a breaking point after losing one last pilot he was close to (honestly something i plan to write at some point), to a stupif decision the company has made, and they right of the bat, not even a week later is sending new recruits, young recruits, to the same suicidal mission bc "they were so close the last time"

He breaks, leaves, and hides with his alien bf, going off radar and starts to secretly help out the citizens, the families, the children, caught on the crossfire because it just seems like no one cares for the little guys anymore.

He works for the people. He's a healer at heart, even if he's not allowed to be - my sister

Idk, just a thought. Not entirely sure what your interpretation of Ratchet really intels, but it's something that keeps chewing at my brain after a few posts about him i saw a while back.

What gets to me though, is wondering how that comes across to Deadlock, ya know? Does that push some change of heart? Does he see the human differently as he risks himself to save the one little kid everyone seems to ignore the cries for help?

I'd imagine Ratchet asking Deadlock help ride around the ruins and to carry the wounded.

Actually. This is EXACTLY how I see him. Like. YES. ABSOLUTELY.

The same thing he was doing in canon, working in Dead end. Caring for people. Regular people who suffer from the war the most.

[thistlecatfics]

Omg nobody has asked for post Azkaban Sirius in therapy yet??? Well I am asking now!!

Haha no one asked because it’s a doozy!!! And I’ve been sitting on this for weeks, and I keep thinking about it and writing nothing. 

Here are some scattered thoughts (which obviously includes some discussion of suicidality and alcohol):

(also ugh sorry the formatting is getting messed up? oh well)

Safety

Assessing for suicidality which he’d probably feel super insulted by

EXCEPT also it’s nice to finally have a space to talk about those thoughts

My boy is definitely experiencing some SI, judged to be at low-to-moderate risk for attempting because of the protective factor (wants to live for Harry, will endure any suffering for Harry) mixed with the major risk factor (heavy substance use making impulsive behavior more likely) (and the fact that Grimmauld Place abounds with lethal means.)

He does not want to safety plan, and so we’d have to do some sneaky safety planning instead. 

Maybe he's self-harming too - I could imagine when he tries not to drink he ends up self-harming. Harm reduction around potential infection risk and monitoring for any escalation but also giving him so much nonjudgmental, non-freaking out support and understanding.

Alcohol (and other substances) 

Harm reduction - like please drink water, please eat, maybe no drinking before a certain time of day. What kind of deals can we make about that? Definitely no trying to tell him he CAN’T drink. That’s stupid, and he’d just stop going to therapy or just start lying. 

Psychoeducation - yes this is making your depression worse not better. This is the brain. This is alcohol. This is the impact. No, you are not special. Your brain reacts to alcohol just like everyone else’s, potentially with even more severe depressive impacts given we don’t know the long term implications of Azkaban. I’m not going to tell you to stop drinking but I’m also not going to join you in any fiction that this is making you feel better overall. 

Animal assisted therapy and getting the fuck out of the house

Buckbeak!!! Also other animals. Sirius is like the number one candidate for animal assisted therapy in my opinion. I have no specialized training in it, but I’d get some for him. 

Are there small ways he can leave the house? Balance safety and risk? What about even the roof? (Though obviously assess for suicidality in terms of encouraging rooftop jaunts.)

We’re working on finding small ways of accessing safety

Grounding in space and grounding in the body are both very unsafe!

If we’re going to engage in any form of grounding or mindfulness, I think it would be using the senses to notice Buckbeak (smell/sight/feel etc). 

If we can build some trust, I think somatic movement might help too though I can see him saying no to that at first. 

Using animagus form as a coping tool

Being a dog >>> killing yourself or drinking to the point of passing out. 

Sooo angry and resentful at the therapist - a safe place for those feelings

Depending on how much time we have, rupture and repair cycle with the therapist might be really healing.

He doesn’t have a lot of outlets for his anger (other than Snape’s occasional visits and depending on how you read his relationship with Remus potentially Remus too), and so being able to tolerate that anger in the therapeutic space would be really important – while also setting clear boundaries. (Personally, I welcome anger, but I have no tolerance for specific demeaning language or slurs directed at me. I’m not worried he’d do that, but I do think making that boundary clear can make it clear how much other behavior is ok in therapy. 

Harry as motivator

Motivator for living, motivator for participating in therapy

While he is stuck in the house, we are not doing any trauma processing. We’re just working on building some safety and coping skills and having a space to vent. We’re only getting into the past/family stuff if he wants to vent about something, but otherwise I’m not even prompting him to go in that direction at all. 

Maybeee we work on beliefs around usefulness and needing to be of service to justify his existence in the world! 

He’s going to believe James and Lily’s deaths were his fault, and I’m going to say they weren’t, and then I’m going to say we can disagree and that’s ok. 

Definitely the type of sessions where I need to lie down afterwards because of the sheer scale of unsaid but deeply felt pain.

[evidenceof]

and roll credits for webgott valentine's week! long-ish post but i don't think it can be anything but saur...

haguenau is for lovers was me deciding to shoot for the moon after 1) meg wondered out loud about a webgott week (after injecting webgott into my brain), 2) i zoomed in on lieb reading sunday comics, feverishly tore through the stars and stripes archive only to realize that easy was in haguenau during valentine's week 3) caoimhe said, "haguenau is for lovers" and it sticking into my brain permanently.

that is to say, i am so very lucky to be friends with people whose thoughts are so infectious and always brilliant. would like to take this time to thank the people who held my sweaty hand all throughout my first stab at organizing a fan event.

tierney @kbsd my beloved!! thank you for literally putting up with my anxiety through all this and for reading (and proofreading) walls of text on gdocs to make sure i still sounded sane. putting up with wips for queueing and scheduling posts when i'm asleep even if you've had a Long Day of Moving houses. i would literally be in the trenches without you. thank you for never doubting me and for genuinely matching my (control) freak.

meg @ww2yaoi head webgott babe (let's all acknowledge that) for the really kind messages. they helped me more than you'd know!! licherally hilf wouldnt even be alive if i hadn't seen you post theee Webgott Wednesday Locket way back last year, and if you hadn't written lippenstift, down in the valley, no ghost looms (tbh all ur webgott) and made me spiral into this for good.

caoimhe @randlemartin. this'll sound weird but just trust ok. thank you for writing both text posts and fic that compel me to no end. the germ of the idea wouldn't have grown into anything good without it being fattened by your thoughts and words!! haguenau is for lovers <3 ik it isn't webgott, but reading delichon while prepping for this over the holidays kept me going fr.

karina @markedfordead and julia @joe-fuckingtwice-toye. your tags and everything you made throughout the event made me wanna cryyyy. they were all so sweet and genuinely, when i'd be fidgeting over the event day ahead, seeing that you two took the time to make something so lovely nearly every single day literally pacified the gnawing self-doubt hahaha thank you i mean it so much.

to everyone who participated!! wrote fics and drabbles, made web weaves, beautiful art that made me want to chew my screen because of how beautiful they all are, thank you so much!!!!!!! to everyone who rb-ed and liked, made valentines, my heart feels a lot bigger thanks to all of you.

shoutout to my laptop, photoshop, my secondhand wacom tablet that's been roi-ed the fuck out since november, my two hands, and futura condensed (1940s print would be NOTHING without you). thank god none of them decided to give up on me during event prep and proper. (and to my bubs who had to literally listen to me scream and yap about this from beginning to end. you are a saint. idk how i got so lucky to be with someone who supports my being a fujo wife with dead ww2 vets)

really wanted to keep my modding this on the down low, largely cos idk!! i just wanted the focus to be on webgott and the event, but also bc i knew this whole thing couldn't have come together because of a singular person, or even moreso, a singular interpretation of the ship. so i felt the distance was necessary. though i am proud, in a small way (im allowing myself a lil' bit of it), of being able to create a bunch of things for a pair i've fallen in love with, and for a group of people who hold so much affection for them.

all that to say! im glad to have made things with love, and (tw: cheesy as fuck) im only really able to do that bc im surrounded by people who love so beautifully. thank you all from da bottom of mi heart. if u read up until here. thank you for that too. ♡

♡ happy webgott wednesday. haguenau will always be for lovers. ♡

sorry this is literally too many scrolls down lmfao

[chunkypossum]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

(If you're in my answers consider yourself tagged if you'd like to play!!)

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024? 619,247... with the way A03 calculates I don't think that's entirely accurate but that's what it says... I would take off 225k and guess it's more around 350-400k

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

18, those event weeks really had a chokehold on me

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

I have only posted a couple of WIP this year. I have stared at least 20 more, but have yet to post anything on them. Hopefully, I will have them all organized by this evening so I can start with my 2025 goals of getting them all done or at least well on their way!

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

I had the best time with What We Deserve!! It has to go at the top of the list.

Honorable mention would be Mother Save Us From Your Twisted fate just because it came out of nowhere and I think I started the first part and finished it in a day or two like a madman and posted without really giving it a second look. Truly a fic of strange passion.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

probably Lighthouse in the Woods. Exploring a poly dynamic in a fic I didn't originally intend to be poly was an interesting choice for my brain lol but a fun and rewarding challenge!

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Under the Weeping Beech shocked me just because it demanded I write it but there was very little reward with how sad it is. Y'all know I love sad angsty shit but I always seem to find a way to make everything ok in the end. Not so much this time but I simply couldn't make myself write it any other way. This was how it was supposed to be

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Everything kind of went how I expected it to this year, but a fic that went under MY OWN PERSONAL RADAR was When Even Moonlight Burns. I adore the outline but couldn't make myself get serious about it this year. I'm waiting for my depraved self to rise to the surface for that one. It needs to be a beautiful disgrace

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

I'm not sure I could name anyone without naming EVERYONE. If you have created Azris, you're on this list.

@queercontrarian inspires me daily with her work. Her attention to detail and the fashion work in her pieces are notches on my bones, that's how permanently they have changed me. I find myself staring at them for entirely too long to be appropriate and keep coming back to revisit my favorites!

@elleybug has a vision for her art that speaks to me on a cellular level. Every single piece supplies me with endless amounts of emotion that just make me want to create and create and create!

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

This question is really testing my memory because every time I read something I get inspired. All of you are just too damn good so if I forget to tag you it's only because I am stupid or I simply haven't been able to get to your amazing work yet BUT I WILL... and not because you don't belong on this list!!!

@fieldofdaisiies for her sweet pieces, @born-to-riot for her funny pieces, @acourtofladydeath for her thoughtful pieces, @secret-third-thing for her weird pieces, @iftheshoef1tz for her poetic pieces, @g00seg1rl for her horny pieces, @pippsmcgee for the dazzling intricacy of that piece she is teasing me with @talibunny30 for characterization in that nesta fic that wont leave me, @jules-writes-stories for the emotion she brings, @the-darkestminds for her dark mind that's like a twin flame, @mistandmemories for all that edging and absolute adorableness, @yanny-77 for the mastery of the dynamics between characters, @fourteentrout for the delicious intimacy, @brunetterebel010 for the vulnerability, @neciebee for the lyrical prose, @whisperingmidnights for the soulful prose, @mudandmire for the gorgeous and unique ideas, @unanswered-stars for the heartbreaking beauty!

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

so so many this year! Special mentions to @jules-writes-stories, @the-darkestminds, @mistandmemories who I really consider to be the big three of 2024 for me! Following along each of your beautiful stories this year has been a highlight!

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

not this year!

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Everything I managed to finish lol. I was worried it would be nothing at all!

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

I work best when I am just dishing out what's been gnawing at me, and trying to participate in too much just for the sake of it was too draining!

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

It's fanfic, take the pressure OFF and just write the thing! If there is a story in your heart you really want to have exist in the world, you need to get it out and let it breathe! Don't focus on numbers or style or craft while you're just getting started. Have fun and create because you NEED to, everything else can come later.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I have approx 12347576412 projects I would like to get written... I'm here to mass produce simply because I can't keep up with my brain. LOL. But truly if I can get one full multichapter fic completed this year I will be very happy!

[oneatlatime]

The Guru

Happy 2024 everyone and welcome to the first time I managed to type 2024 without first typing 2023! Oh and also a write up of The Guru. That too.

Me too Iroh. Me too.

So Zuko is riding high on that post-crisis 'time to get my life together' buzz that, similar to 3 am life plans, should absolutely not be listened to. Wonder how long before he crashes and burns? There's literally 2 episodes left, so I'm guessing one and a half?

Poor Sokka. My boy's got anxiety.

I don't know if it's a monk thing, an airbender thing, an Avatar thing, or an Aang thing, but I envy his complete lack of nerves.

How is Appa ok with them splitting up for a week after JUST getting them back?

I paused in a funny place. Have bonk-eyed Appa.

I love them comparing heights. What do you want to bet that that guy on the right was one of the youngest allowed to go fight, and Sokka made a big deal about how they're almost the same age and surely that means he can go too, right?

A lot of these Southern Water Tribe people have dreads or braids. That's neat.

Bato's arm is still messed up. That's some good continuity.

I've found the source of Katara's cheek bones. I guess Sokka takes after his mum.

Ok I know this is a really emotional moment (and it is! Sokka's spent two seasons earning this!) but my brain fixated on the furs and briefly thought they were sky bison pelts.

"It's been a difficult week for me." This guy thinks the Kyoshi Warriors are there to provide him therapy. Someone please just crown the bear instead.

He just gave away literally every relevant plot point AND outlined how to make sure all these plot points don't succeed. Crown. The. Bear.

Maybe if these generals spent less time playing with their giant model Earth Kingdom and more time general-ing, the war wouldn't suck so much?

Pretty.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the designs, the colour palette, the music, the sound design of this air temple. I love everything about it. If I had the chance to live anywhere in the Avatar universe, it would be here. Even in its ruined state it's such a refreshing contrast to the claustrophobia of Ba Sing Se. I can feel the freshness of the breeze through the screen.

"A spiritual brother of your people" an adult perspective on a near extinct culture! What a resource!

"and a personal friend of Monk Gyatso" an old as balls perspective. He's got to be at least 130.

Anthropology cul de sac time: this guy is so valuable as a resource on the Air Nomads. There's probably parts of Air Nomad culture that Aang can't ever accurately talk about, because he was a kid when he left, and there was almost certainly stuff that the adults kept to themselves, or only shared with the older Air Nomads. This Guru doesn't seem to be an Air Nomad himself, but there's a good chance that there is knowledge that he has, that Aang doesn't. Aang should be nerding out more about this. I'll do the nerding out for him.

Aang just breezes right by that Gyatso name drop like it's nothing. Huh.

Oh hey Toph. I'd forgotten she was in a box. Tweedle dum and Tweedle dumber really are quite the pair. What's their plan for keeping her fed and watered? Actually, these guys apparently don't know that maps exist, so it's probably never occurred to them that humans need sustenance. They'll rock up to the Bei Fong estate with corpse Toph and wonder why they aren't getting the reward money.

Mai gets called out in-universe for shopping at Hot Topic.

Ty Lee's buttering up of Azula is getting less and less subtle as the season progresses. It's a testament to Azula's lack of awareness that she's hasn't noticed that, and that Ty Lee can get away with it.

Azula's right that it's an extraordinary opportunity. The King gave them quite literally every piece of info required to overthrow his kingdom in a 25 second conversation. I can't blame her for taking advantage of such an easy win.

That's a very effective unimpressed face. And a very impressive beard.

It's funny to see a spiritual concept from the real world pop up in a show that includes things like bending and giant fish possession. The mention of Chakras kind of sticks out. They couldn't invent a Avatar universe version?

"Once you begin this process, you cannot stop until all seven are open." Well that doesn't feel like foreshadowing at all.

This episode should be called "Aang's self-care Journey." It's about time the kid had a me day that wasn't avoidance-based.

Fear: Losing Katara - makes sense. Losing control of his powers via fish possession - makes sense. The Fire Lord - makes sense. But the Blue Spirit? He helped. Doesn't make sense.

Guilt: Running away - makes sense, although I thought he'd worked through that with Katara in the storm. Nuking that idiot General's base - makes sense, but boy did he quite literally ask for it.

This guru is saying some wonderfully accurate, and realistic, things. I love that he's not taking the Katara route of denying anything is wrong. He's going for the acknowledge, then heal route. And yes, it's unfair of me to compare the emotional maturity of Katara to a century+ old spiritual expert.

I'm going to ruin the immersion here and point out that Sokka's dad's voice actor voiced a bunch of characters in season 1. He's doing an excellent job, but couldn't they get a unique voice for a character that's so important (albeit offscreen) to Sokka?

That's an incredibly roundabout way of avoiding pointing out that the Southern Water Tribe are active participants in a bloody war. Sure, we can show multiple characters with visible scarring from horrific burns, but heaven forbid we imply that the Southern Water Tribe sinks ships. The parameters for what is and isn't appropriate on this show sometimes make no sense.

"Aren't you listening? I said the rest of you men get ready for battle." He hasn't seen his boy in two years, but fifteen minutes in his company and he knows exactly what needs to be said and how. That's some top tier parenting. Dad of the year. Dad of the century. Only decent Dad in this show that isn't technically an uncle.

"Follow your passion Zuko, and life will reward you." Great advice for your eight year old audience. Also a great way to end up unemployed.

Positive Sokka creeped me out a few episodes ago. Now positive Zuko is freaking me out too.

Pretty.

Back to Chakras! Shame: Burning Katara - makes sense. But that's it? To have the inner peace of mind of a twelve year old who's somehow only ever done one thing that he's ashamed of.

Is there anyone in the earth kingdom who isn't stupid? Once again wondering at the network's standards. Visible burn injuries are fine, but Mai can't say 'Shut up." It's got to be Shush up. Although I do seem to recall of brief time in the early 2000s when Shut Up was treated as a curse on par with Shit or Fuck. Maybe that was just at my school.

Chakras again! Even for a show that often has an A, B, and C plot, this narrative is ping ponging around a bit much.

Grief: nothing major, just a whole nation. Makes a horrific amount of sense. but I don't buy that he can get over grieving the whole world as he knew it by thinking about his crush. That's way too high a pedestal for Katara to be placed on.

Lies: Not accepting he's the Avatar. Interesting that not accepting that he's the Avatar and not accepting that he's a firebender are two different problems.

I see you reusing the opening credits footage. Your blue filters can't fool me.

PRETTY

Illusion: So we're relearning what we learned in The Swamp. Aang's probably the person currently alive least likely to believe in the rigid separation of the nations anyway. This doesn't feel like an illusion he's subject to?

The way this episode dances between its narrative threads is so great. It's all woven in so beautifully. And this makes perfect sense! Toph's spent her life secretly doing things excellently that everyone says are completely beyond her capabilities. Life has taught her that the statement "you are not able to" doesn't apply. Of course immutable laws of bending physics are treated with the same respect as an adult telling the champion of the Earth Rumble that she's can't earthbend beyond breathing exercises. If you told her that humans can't fly, she'd figure out how within the week.

Plot collision incoming.

Interesting that Katara initially recognises Zuko by his voice rather than his scar.

I'm pretty sure that Zuko and Iroh don't know about the whole brainwashing thing, but wouldn't it be hilarious if Zuko introduced himself to Katara as Joo Dee, and his uncle Joo Dee, welcome to the Jasmine Dragon, can I take your order? That would throw Katara into one hell of a moral quandary.

Katara being framed as the solution for Chakra number four comes back to bite Aang, as she's the problem in Chakra number seven. I knew that pedestal was too high.

I've changed my mind. This episode should actually be called "Half a dozen reasons why everyone should just learn to keep their goddamn mouths shut already."

So is anyone going to let Zuko and Iroh know that they're now in immediate danger and need to leave, like, yesterday?

I think the Guru is going for the whole 'if you love them, let them go, and they'll come back to you' thing. Don't cling, in other words. But for the sake of the plot he's suddenly lost his ability to explain Chakras in a way that makes them seem like the logical thing to do. The only clunky bit of this episode so far.

May I introduce you to our Lord and Saviour Toph?

"I am the greatest earthbender in the world." Yes. Yep. Yeah. That's now a quantifiable fact, and it's correct. Look on ye mighty and despair. She's even got Bumi beat.

Earth Tongue Running is a bit wonky looking but it covers a crazy amount of distance.

What's the range on Toph's earth sense? Can she sense what direction Ba Sing Se is?

I hope those two idiots' horse bird is ok.

"You don't know how much this means to me dad." He does. Very much so.

Every word out of this guy's mouth is precision engineered to make Sokka feel like a million bucks and I for one think it's about time someone built him up. Also, seeing this makes me realise how few good parents there are in this show. It's a trope of kids' adventure shows that the parents fundamentally can't be there, but I also think it's a commentary on yet another thing that this war has messed up.

Hey look! Being a man is knowing where you're needed the most, and right now that's in Ba Sing Se, protecting your sister! I love narratives that tie their themes up with a pretty bow on top.

This is Azula laying a trap, right? Which means that Katara squealed to someone about the exact location of Iroh and Zuko's tea shop. Don't like the implications of that.

Photos taken seconds before disaster.

Final Thoughts

This episode was a lot! I mean that in a good way! But I felt a bit like the Maxell Blown Away Guy, the way I kept getting assaulted by yet another plot thread. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a criticism. I think the switching between plot threads and the amount of info in this episode worked 99% of the time. But I'm kind of in awe at the balancing act the writers pulled off and I'm sort of sitting here blinking a bit trying to fit all this stuff in my head. I'm probably going to forget half the stuff I wanted to talk about in this write up, so here goes nothing.

Given the Azula reveal in at the end of last episode, I thought that this would be the episode where the shit hits the fan. I was wrong. I'm glad I was wrong. An episode of set up is required and is nice breathing room, even an episode as busy as this. And I got to leave Ba Sing Se! But this does mean that next episode is going to be calamity after calamity.

Aang and his Chakras: I'm fascinated by this guru. I hope he comes back. That brings the total number of people who were alive before the war started up to three: Aang, Bumi, Guru Patik.

I'm impressed that the run through of the Chakras rarely felt like an info dump. The onion and banana juice thing didn't work for me, but I'm sure it worked for people in the target age bracket. Kids love burp jokes.

So many shows sprinkle in tragic backstories for flavour and then never have them influence the character in the present. It was a nice contrast to see a show take a whole episode to tell Aang "yeah all that sucked. It's ok to feel down about it. Here's how you move forward."

Sokka and his dad: Love it. Love it so much. I love seeing Sokka built up, and he definitely deserves it, but I wonder if this is the reward for a character arc well done, or the set up for a character arc that's about to start? Is his dad's praise his prize for crossing the finish line, or is it so he's built up with farther to fall?

I loved seeing more of the Southern Water Tribe. I loved the fashion. There's a lot of variety in accessories and variations on a few basic elements like those knee guard things. I loved their hairstyles. I loved how cozy and communal that command tent felt. I loved their ships. I wonder how often these guys work out, that they can make loading ramps that are presumably deployed and stashed out of the way frequently, out of whole logs rather than planks. I have a bone to pick with the child-friendly sea mine. But it provides a good set up for a dad joke, so I'll let it slide.

Zuko and Iroh: Of course the one time Zuko is allowed to be in a good place, it's so that he and Iroh both have farther to fall when the inevitable happens. Poor guy just can't catch a break. I'd be mad at Azula for the party crashing that I'm assuming she'll do next episode, but it's been established that Zuko has all nice things taken away from him as soon as he gets them, and I can't blame Azula for being a tool of the universe.

Azula & Long Feng: Azula's acting in Long Feng's prison cell was miles ahead of what Long Feng was doing in front of the Earth King, so I'm wondering if Long Feng has bitten off more than he can chew. Also: conspiring with the enemy to bring down your own city just so you can reinstall yourself as the power behind the throne that will presumably cease to exist as soon as the Fire Nation takes control? That is both treasonous beyond description and an incredible case of shooting yourself in the foot. What's Long Feng's plan here?

Toph and the Dunderheads: it says something about the consistency of Toph's characterisation from her introduction onwards that she breaks the universe this episode and my reaction was "that's neat." It's obviously a huge moment, but of course Toph can do that. Toph can do anything. More importantly, Toph knows that Toph can do anything, so Toph routinely does do anything, especially things she shouldn't be able to do. If you had asked me a few episodes back which character would be most likely to fundamentally redefine bending, I would have said Toph, since she's already fundamentally redefined bending with her earth sense sonar vision.

Also Toph just breaks stuff. Things that come into contact with her cease to function as intended and instead function as Toph requires. Look at the two idiots: both successful business owners, one also a successful hoodwinker of the richest family around. But they come into contact with Toph and their brains take an extended vacation.

Katara & the Generals: this plot was more like an extension of Azula's plot than its own standalone thing. You can't blame her for spilling the news about Zuko and Iroh to someone she honestly thought was Suki. Not much else to say about it, although it's cute that she asks for a table for two at the tea shop. Momo gets a chair!

I like that there's a theme this episode of things going wrong despite the best intentions. No one's acting maliciously here apart from the Antagonists. The Earth King is having an honest chat with people he thought were friends. Sokka vouched for people he honestly thought were the Kyoshi Warriors. Katara shares information about a presumed threat with people she honestly thought were her allies. You can quibble with the wisdom of some of these decisions, but there were all done with good intentions. The best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry and all that. It brings to mind that Star Trek quote about how you can do everything right and still lose. And this set up is going to hit harder when whatever goes wrong next episode happens. And something will go wrong. A few months ago I figured that the Season 2 finale would be a triumph, but all signs are pointing towards a tragedy instead.

This episode was visually stunning, the soundtrack in the Air Temple sections especially was very evocative, and I applaud the minds that could juggle that many plot threads at once without dropping any. This one is definitely going on my rewatch list.

[demonsslayersstuff]

Memory Lane (past Erwin Smith x Reader, Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Description: A fic about how the reader copes and moves on from death. Past Erwin x Reader and Levi x Reader as reader moves on. (More of a hinted Levi x Reader, it’s not really the focus) This was inspired by the AOT song Memory Lane. I tried to follow the canon timeline as much as possible with a little bit of creative freedom.

Warnings: Angst, grief, anger, depression, Character Death, comfort, moving on, mentions of injuries.

A/N: Firstly I am so sorry I have not posted in a while. Life has just been so busy. I will keep posting fics, but it’s gonna be some lengthy time in between posting. Anyway….I wanted to try writing a bit more of an angsty and slow burn fic, so keep in mind it is a bit depressing at times, but I did end it on a lighter note. Also I’m sorry if it’s not the best. I tried, but the ending isn’t the best. Enjoy and thank you for the support!

Can’t you see how much we lost? Thousands now have gone. But still we’re alive, now where we wanna be?

The vast expanse of blue is all that your brain can comprehend at the moment. In all of your wildest dreams, you had never imagined that you'd be standing here, seeing the "ocean" in person. You had never doubted your partners endless rants about there being an outside world, but now that you were seeing it, it was hard for you to fully grasp. So as the others race to rip their shoes off, the need to feel the water against their skin their top priority, you remain rooted in a complete standstill. The longer you stared, the more you came to realize how color of the water matched the hue of Erwin's eyes nearly perfectly, knocking the wind out of you. He’d never gotten to see this sight, races through your mind before you can stop it. Being in the Survey Corps you’d know death, experienced it first hand countless times, had managed to keep it together. But his death was different. It was like a tidal wave of grief, just as you thought you were getting better, the strong current sucked you backed in, drowning you. You were unable to prevent the salty tears that had slipped down your cheek, but you didn’t want to cry, not here, not now. So you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, hoping the pain would pass quickly.

“You ok?”, comes a familiar voice, one that you hadn’t heard in the past few weeks. You open your eyes, turning left to look down briefly at Levi. “I’m ok”, you mutter, unable to disguise the venom your voice held. You knew deep down Erwin’s death was not his fault, but you still hadn’t forgiven him for giving Armin the Titan serum. You honestly weren’t sure you ever will. An uneasy silence falls between the two of you, both unsure of what to say. So, the two of you simply stand silently, watching as the others goof off in the water for a time. The sun begins to sink below the horizon when you finally break the silence. “He never got to see this”, you say nearly inaudibly, but you know Levi heard you. You look into his steely blue eyes for a moment before stepping away, heading back towards the horses. “I’m sorry”, Levi says, much too quietly as the sunlight begins to slip away.

I’ll be here waiting for you, hope you find the way. Our home, sweetest home, you will come back to me.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?”, Hange asks, eyeing you carefully. “No one would blame you if you wanted to sit this one out”, they continue. You sigh deeply, taking some time to ponder your thoughts. “There’s nothing left for me here. Besides we both know Erwin would have immediately planned a mission to see whatever is out there. So please let me do this”, you plead. Hange is quiet for a second before, “Very well, it won’t be today or probably even next week, but I promise you’ll be on that first mission”, they tell you. “Thank you”, you say, relief washing over you, happy to be able to live part of Erwin’s dream. “Before you go. I found something, something I think he would have wanted you to have”, Hange says, tone softer.

You glance at them curiously for a moment, watching as they placed a small dark satin box down on the desk. “Not that my words really mean anything, but he cared for you deeply”, Hange continues, choosing their words carefully. “I know had he not….aside from the Corps, you were Erwin’s world. He loved you and I’m sorry I’m the one that’s giving you this and not him”, they finish, the atmosphere now somber. You slowly reach out, carefully touching the smooth box, too scared to open it. “Thank you”, you manage to say evenly. You grab the small box, slipping it into your pocket before standing up, quietly dismissing yourself. As you step into the hall you nearly run into Levi, presumably on his way to speak to Hange, but you don't stop to apologize. You scurry down the hall, hoping to make it back to your room before another round of tears begins. Levi simply watches you go, knowing it was best to leave you alone for now.

In the wind, echoes of you. Let me know, memory lane. I wore the coat, the one you gave to me, meet me here.

The years had passed slowly and quickly at the same time. One year turned into two and then two years turned into five years without Erwin. So much had changed, the world you'd both know was completely gone. While time had begun to heal your wounds, seeing people who lived outside of the wall, the technology they brought with them was still painful to witness at times. The scouting trip to Marley was what finally pushed you to come to terms with reality. It was time to look towards the future.

You reach out and brush the old dirty brown leaves off of the grave that you were kneeling in front of. You fingers linger on his name etched into the now weathered stone. "Hey blondie", you begin, using his old nickname. In the beginning, Erwin had hated the name, but over time he had come to love it, turning it into a term of endearment, one that was only used behind closed doors. "This will probably be the last time I come here, it’s time…I need to let you go", you continue, you knew you weren't coming back. You'd made that decision after the world you knew had crumble before your very eyes. You couldn’t keep holding on to the past. Your hand moves to touch the necklace that rested on the hallow part of your throat, Erwin's final gift to you. "I wish you could have gotten to see all of this, but I know that you are here with me always", you finish. You take steading breath before leaning to kiss the stone briefly. "Goodbye Erwin", you murmur against the cool marble before standing up. You slowly walk back up the path towards the barracks. You pause, looking back towards the graveyard, taking in one final look. The past is the past, it's time to look towards the future, you think, knowing there was one last place to visit before you left.

A short while you knock on his door and when he gruffly says “Enter”, you take a calming breath. When the door opens and he sees that it’s you, Levi’s eyebrow shoots up quizzically for a second, but his face falls neutral again. “Surprised to see you here”, Levi comments. “I wanted to talk”, you say, standing awkwardly near his nearly empty desk. You weren’t the only one who seemed to be tying up loose ends. “So talk, I need to leave soon”, he replies dryly. Since that day on the beach years ago, the two of you had been indifferent. Back when Erwin was alive, you’d considered Levi one of your closest friends, but that all changed. You knew things would never be the same, but regardless you wanted to try. “I’m sorry”, you start. Levi looks up at you, face still indifferent. “After Erwin died I struggled, I was angry and I wanted to blame someone. That someone became you and it wasn’t fair. I was grieving my partner, but I forgot that you also lost one of your closest friends”, you continue, eyes staring down at the floor. “Things will never be the same, but I wanted you to know that I don’t blame you. Erwin died on his own terms”, you finish. The room fills with silence. You move your eyes to look at his face before you step towards his desk and place the green cloak you’d been holding down. “He would have wanted you to have this. I’ll see you tomorrow”, you say before you leave his office as quickly as you walked in.

Levi stares at the door for a moment once it’s shut before his eyes fall down to his desk. “I forgive you”, he mumbles before deeply sighing. Tomorrow would be a new chapter in both of your lives, whatever would happen he knew the were on the same team.

Life back then was simpler. Now it's not the same. The part you would play was so unthinkable . Feels likе only yesterday. I sat herе with you. We were in our hearts to be invincible.

“Levi”, you say, voice filled full of emotion as dread fills your body. Never had you seen him this injured before. He was humanities strongest soldier, he was the epitome of what a soldier in the scouts regiment should be. But as you finally reach him, that image fades away. You eyes scan his body, carefully assessing which wounds where the most fatal, trying to figure out where to start.

“Here”, Hange says, handing you what you assume is a medical kit, as they come to crouch next you. “Jesus fuck”, they mumble, moving to cut away what was left of his burnt uniform. “I’ll stitch the face, you take the chest and hand”, you tell Hange, trying your best to stay neutral, knowing Levi would never forgive you if you let your emotions take over. “Got it”, Hange says, opening the kit, pulling out various supplies. The two of you work quickly, cleaning the wounds, hearing the occasional groans that fall from Levi’s mouth, though he remains unconscious. “I can’t save the eye…I’ll need to stitch it up to stop the bleeding”, you tell Hange, tone frustrated. “Yeah well his fingers are long gone. Right now it’s about saving his life, not about keeping him pretty”, they reply, tone bleak.

With the stitching done, the two of you wrapped his wounds with the sterile bandages, knowing there was nothing else to be done. “I’m going to do a quick scout”, Hange says, pulling on their green cloak. “Stay here, keep an eye on Levi, I’ll be back soon”, they finish before disappearing into the now dark woods. You stay close to Levi, keeping a watchful eye on the steady rise and fall of his chest, still worried he could succumb to his injuries. The worry only slightly fades when his hoarse voice breaks the silent evening air. “Y/N”, he croaks, trying to sit up. You’re quick to push him back down. “Stop, you need to rest”, you tell him, trying hard to keep your voice steady.

Levi lays back down, his good eye catching your face. “Zeke?”, he questions. “Got away”, you reply, watching anger seep into his visible features. “Don’t worry, we’ll get him”, you continue, trying to reassure him. “Not exactly gonna happen if we kept lounging around”, Levi responds curtly. You could hear the frustration and disappointment in his voice. He’d failed Erwin again, the one promise he’d made him that he hasn’t be able to keep. “We aren’t lounging. You need to reciprocate. You nearly fucking died Levi”, you say taking the opportunity to check his bandages, making sure they remained in place.

“I wish I had”, slips from his mouth before he can even stop himself.

“What?”, you say, turning to look at him. “Y/N-” he starts but you cut him off. “How dare you fucking say that. We’ve all had shitty lives Levi, we’ve all lost people we cared about”, you start, voice raised. “But that’s the job! So sorry I saved your life. Maybe you forgot that I care for you, and I didn’t want to lose you either”, you continue, your emotions taking control, tears gathering in your eyes. “I can’t lose you, not after Erwin”, you finish, voice falling quiet, the last part barely audible. You were angry, angry that Zeke got away and Levi was nearly killed in the process. When was this hell going to end, you think as you try to calm yourself down. A weak, but steady hand grips your own, bringing you out of your thoughts. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like that, I’m just so…tired” Levi says. “I know, I just, don’t know what I’d do without you”, you tell him honestly.

Before Levi has a chance to respond Hange comes back. “Sorry to break up this little party, but we’ve got things to do”, they say slightly out of breath. It’s only when Hange comes closer to the fire that you see the make shift wagon they brought with them. “That for me”, Levi asks. “Yep, first light we move out. We need to back to base and reassess”, they reply coming to sit down next to you. “It’s time to get rid of these Jeagerists”, Hange continues, tone darker. The conversation falls into somber silence, the true meaning of their words sinking in. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

In the wind. Echoes of you. Let me know. Memory lane. I wore the coat. The one you gave to me. Meet me here.

Thick mist fills your vision as you try to find the others. You move slowly, limping forward as you try to gain your bearings. As you continue to move forward you see a figure in the distance. You quicken the pace when you see some blond hair, thinking Armin was just up ahead. “Armin we..”, you start but the words die in your mouth as the figure comes into the full view. “Erwin”, you whisper, pain laced in your voice. His blue eyes lock onto yours for a moment. It was as if time were frozen. He looked so young, almost carefree. You watch as a smile breaks out across his face, before his fist comes to rest on his heart. “Erwin”, you say again, moving to reach out towards him, but before you can touch him, he slips away like a distant memory after a moment of clarity.

Just then the mist fades and the sunlight peaks through the clouds and the reality of what happens finally sinks in. The war was over and you had survived. You fall to your knees with a strangled cry. You had survived. As that phrase repeats through your mind, you wonder who else has survived and that’s when he finally enters your mind. “Levi”, you say quietly at first, standing up. “Levi”, you repeat, this time shouting as you move quickly across the barren landscape. “Lev-” you begin but stop as you take in the form of someone sitting up against some rocks. You run closer and relief instantly hits your body as you see that it is Levi.

“Levi”, you shout again as you race towards him. Your body slams into him with a forceful thud, knocking the wind out of both of you. “Fuck”, he mutters as you wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. “Sorry”, you say as you move back. “I just can’t believe that we’re alive”, you say breathless. “Calm down”, Levi mutters, but even you can hear the relief in his voice. You move to sit next him, now in no rush to leave, knowing that Levi can’t walk with his injured leg, but also knowing that someone would eventually find you.

It’s quiet for a time before, “Levi?”, you ask softly. “What?”, he murmurs back. “What happens now?”, you question, turning to look at him. He looks at you for a moment before shrugging his shoulder. “No fucking clue”, he responds a bit a later. “All I know is that I’m done with this shit”, he continues. “Will you go back?”, you ask him, softly as more time passes. “Nope, I need a fresh a start. Something else, something new”, Levi responds, choosing his words carefully. “What about you?”, he asks. You shrug your shoulders. “I said my goodbyes. There’s nothing left for me there” you say turning to look at him. His dark blue eye looks into yours. “Do you want to…try this new life together?”, you ask him quietly. Levi closes his eyes and leans his head back against the rock. “As long your ok with me no longer being humanities strongest soldier”, he mutters. You chuckle slightly, “You know that was never important to me”, you mumble, your hand falling down, placed between the two of you. “I know”, Levi replies quietly before his hand falls on top of yours, squeezing it gently. The war was finally over, you were ready to start a new chapter in your life, this time with Levi in it.

[snail-day]

Babe let me know what you think of this idea for yan satosugu because the brain worms have been at it so bad this week. Medical AU where reader who was previously healthy has gotten an illness that’s been bothering her for about a month until it becomes unbearable and she has to go to the hospital. She was putting it off because she’s got a HUGE needle phobia and general fear of hospitals and procedures etc. Now idk if you wanna make both of them doctors, we did get that panel of nurse Geto but in the satosugu dynamic I feel like it would be Gojo as the nurse. Regardless, our healthcare heathens here don’t wanna discharge their darling little patient so easily. Probably doing unnecessary treatments just to keep her sick and dependent. Ohohoh so much to play with here, the medical play, if she hasn’t been visiting doctors regularly how would she be able to discern what is a red flag in their treatment especially when the doctor with the silver tongue explains it all so rationally you ought to trust him right? They have constant access to any medicine, the perfect tactics of isolating her if they put her in quarantine. Reader stressing because if she takes too much sick leave she’ll be fired from her job not to mention all the medical debt, my, my it’s so over. It would be really cool to have a reader who is absolutely a fighter I’m talking biting, scratching, screaming, thrashing, clawing kicking. She’s not going down without being knocked out and even after she wakes up she’s at it again. Literally doing anything to stop her phobias and fears from happening just to be free. In a lot of works reader is often paralyzed with fear which isn’t bad but I so badly wanna see a fighter (maybe bc when I read I’m like “pshh I wouldn’t let that slide” lolll ) and how she slowly breaks or breaks free your choice. Because of your background in chemistry and I’m assuming biology too because I bet you had to take some courses in order to complete the major, you’re the perfect person to request this to!!!! Ever since I read You Just Can’t Play God I was ascending. Your writing is so expressive and emotional like I’m really going through it here and it’s so addictivly tragic every time. And I could tell that you but your background knowledge into that fic and it deserves MORE LOVE so I’m giving it to you 💖💖💖thinking of this always. Wahhhh I go crazy for science fiction and medical horror and a yandere doctor is such bad news let alone two!!!! I kinda feel bad for making such a lengthy request and especially since you mentioned about wanting to post some more wholesome satosugu content and I come in with this🤡. Alas I am (with your consent) open mouth smooching you, warmly embracing you, feeding you yummy snacks and tucking you into bed. Ok that’s enough yapping out of me I got to go to bed. Good night!!!

- With much adoration 💖 anon

💖 Anon, we are definitely making out right now—especially after you just fed me that delicious FIC IDEA.

Holy fuck, do I love a good medical AU. (The gloves? They do things to my brain. The power play? Chef’s kiss.)

What are you gonna do? Say no to a medical professional?

I totally agree—Geto would absolutely be the silver-tongued doctor, while Gojo would thrive in a cute little nurse outfit. I can already picture them doing home visits. They have your address (and everything else about you). Small-town beloved doctors? No one suspects a thing.

I will be gratefully taking this request. I’m nearly done with a fic for this weekend, so I’ll be starting on it soon. :)

I need to go to bed too, but you’ve got my brain worms munching.

I love you, 💖 anon. Thank you for your wonderful words—I hope you have the sweetest, fluffiest dreams.

[jessconsumesmedia]

CBS Ghosts 4x08 and 4x09

Hello so this is gonna be Two parts because the episode was two parts so get ready to listen to me twice (I mean or not that is fine too) (HI THIS IS SO LATE I KEEP WRITING ON IT AND THEN GETTING BUSY!)

Also they are not broken up by episode they are broken up by storyline cause I’m pretty sure like most of the next post will be me freaking about H-money snippets.

Tis the season to freak the fuck out about fictional characters :)

Festive spoilers ahead

Ok so quick overview I fucking loved this episode. Like genuinely it had so much going on and it scratched a very specific itch in my little tv fueled brain.

Sassapis is a 500 Year Old Virgin

Awesome actually that’s what I figured. I kinda love the idea that he is ace and just is not a fan. Thor tried so hard to keep his secret he really did he doesn’t really know how relationships actually work. He also really did not need to add that whole still a virgin after death he really coulda just left it and flower probably woulda forgot lol. Flower also does not know how relationships work so her saying he had to tell her was a bit rough but I am glad that we keep seeing parts of these characters that show how grey they really are. CAROL I genuinely love how insane she is like when we see her she makes me giggle like a mad woman so her being like “you can’t handle this” like that woman is a FREAK. And you know what good for her. (I also kinda hate her cause she’s terrible but it’s like fun hate)

SASS AND THOR ARE BEST FRIENDS I WILL SOB. It stands to reason that Thor would have learned Lenape but having the confirmation is lovely. I really enjoyed that they were like little toddlers yes in fact I do want to go see a moose carcass we’re besties now. It is so sweet.

Double Possession/Sam and the Core Four

Oh my god. Rose’s Nancy impression is probably like one of the funniest and best impressions. Like she nailed it. It even sounds like her! The basement ghosts probably should have warned them they know they aren’t that smart but oh well. Nancy being the reason that Champa likes Sam is hilarious like she is actually going insane and that is what you like. I feel bad that Sam was excluded for so long but after she finally is I think she has a better chance at bonding. Rip the car though Nancy was really not very nice for that. Jay telling his mom to chill and try to be mean is very wife guy of him. I’m probably forgetting things now cause it’s been a few days but I really loved that Sam got added and I love that we met Jays family (also his full first name is Jayanth idk why I just automatically assumed it was just Jay but it’s a very good name) and now this post is incredibly long so I am going to stick Jays relationship to his dad in part two lol.

Also absolutely crazy random tangent but I just learned Hetty’s middle name is Eleanor and I just like that.

Anyway part two will exist sometime soon hopefully but I am also going on a study abroad trip for like two weeks so I will be very busy. So idk

Here’s a picture of Trevor that I think is funny

-Jess 💖

[bomberqueen17]

ow

lol so. i'm at home after the farm season right. i have so much writing i have been wanting to do, and i have succeeded at doing some of it! i had a brief "ah chicken season is over" hiatus before The Dread Deturkening, and spent that whole thing writing frantically, hence the solarpunk tall ships idea which is still in progress btw-- I did finally start a for real draft version to solicit feedback and now I realize a bunch of people's tumblr handles is not a great way to actually connect so i need to figure out how to do that-- which is beside the point of this post--

anyway. now that it's For Real Hiatus From Farm Season I'm trying to actually get my life in order and not succeeding very well.

Dude's company laid off a bunch of his team and therefore shut down the local office, so he, being the last man standing, had to go in and clear the space out. As part of that, his former desk is sitting in our garage, and I'm trying to clear out space for it in the basement. The basement is a black hole of fuckery because one year ago, some of you may remember, we had our kitchen remodeled, and we had contracted to do it in February but they called us the last week of November and said can we do it now instead, which sure but it meant I had to haul seventeen years' worth of stuff out of the kitchen into Literally Anywhere Else and then they needed me to clear out part of the basement erroneously believing they were putting in a new support pillar, which they weren't, but then they needed me to clear out a path to the back wall of the basement because the electricians needed to install a whole new panel there, so like, ok cool but it just meant a lot of things got haphazardly hauled from one corner of the basement to another in tremendous hurry with no time for keeping track of what's what. So that's a disaster and now's the time to fix it.

I have also been hauling some of it to the attic. I had been using the desk in the spare room for sewing on the days when Dude was working from his office. Since those days no longer happen, I have no access to those machines now, which are stacked in a corner. The basement is now too crowded for me to resume using the little space I'd carved out down there, so I have put some sewing stuff into the attic, which isn't insulated and is rather drafty now. But anyway. I'm rearranging a lot of things and can't make progress on any projects while that's happening.

I got a ton of reorganizing done on Monday evening in the basement (having spent the whole morning hauling shit out of dude's former office, which is now surrendered and locked and all set), and yet more Tuesday, and was hoping to finish it yesterday but Tuesday evening I fucked up my back, it felt all crunchy, and I was really worried until I woke up Wednesday in just torrents of gore, which I realized is my new perimenopausal normal-- I've started to realize that menstruation does fucky shit to all my connective tissues, so I shouldn't actually worry about my lower back destroying itself if it's also Cramp Time. So I spent yesterday absolutely immobile, dosed up on ibuprofen and just like that scene out of the Shining except wrapped in blankets and drinking herbal tea.

I also spent much of yesterday just. Unconscious? Which was weird. I don't know why I'm so fatigued but at least I'm sleeping.

(I also cleaned the oven. Do not recommend, especially not when one's lower back is doing mysterious rice krispie impressions.)

So today I was hoping to get back to work but I do feel like I've been beaten with sticks. Maybe instead I will finish working out how to get people who've expressed interest in beta-reading into a google doc.

A not so hilarious side note is that if I do not have a desk to sit at I have trouble organizing my thoughts?? IDK it's very weird but there are several tasks I need to do where I'll need to have my laptop and a sheet of paper in front of me I think, and my brain is like "illegal unless At Desk" and that's tough shit since I don't have a desk. I had started noticing it over the summer in the cabin where I also don't have a desk. How do I organize my thoughts if I can't Sit At A Desk to do it????? One would think I'd figure it out since i've spent most of my life without a desk of my very own, but. Not so far!!! Not currently.

Also a major thing my brain is Not Allowing me to do is finish preparing for Christmas. I'm not seeing family for Christmas, for the like tenth year in a row because every year we arrange to do it together my older sister fucking flakes out, and this year it was the off year but she flaked out of thanksgiving instead-- i'm not saying she doesn't flake out for good reasons, one of her kids was real sick and i'm not mad, but the fact remains, we're not seeing that bit of the family and she's not letting us make any contingency plans, so my brain is like Fine No Christmas Then and won't let me figure out what to get people for gifts and it is actually a problem because some of those people are kids and are expecting me to figure it out anyway.

argh.

my beloved godfather, my Type A mom's little underachieving alcoholic gay probably ADHD depressed college dropout brother, never was good at christmas presents for us kids either, and still managed to hold it together better than I am despite being in a relationship with a man who wouldn't allow him to tell us nieces about him and so he just showed up to all our family events and was my uncle's "friend" and we all figured it out anyway so there was no point hiding it from us but ugh they still did and i remember us at some point in the 90s, all us sisters sitting together ranging in age from high school down to elementary school and my older sister being like "we all know they're gay right" and us all being like "yeah why can't we just say it" and the oldest sister looking at me, who even then everybody knew was the gay one, and i was like "man i don't know" and we all just solemnly agreed to not mention it...

anyway

he did better than this but he died of lung cancer in '08 so I can't ask him how he managed it. (what i have in my favor is that my dad's side of the family gave me asthma so i never could have taken up smoking, so at least that won't kill me.)

He never got an ADHD diagnosis tho so I can't find out what meds he took. Well, he took whiskey, we know that. It didn't work though. and he wasn't really a loser, i've met so many people who knew and loved him now that i'm an adult and sometimes go around in the city where he lived. even now so many people remember him so fondly. and he bragged about us, his nieces, all the time, all these people know who i am as soon as i mention him. boy i miss him!!!

this is the miracle of the ADHD brain I was fretting about house cleaning and now i'm grieving my long-dead uncle, who of course I knew mostly through the lens of my mother who literally never understood him in the slightest.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Ben Appel

Published: Nov 15, 2024

Over the past eight years or so, we’ve heard a lot of stories about people being canceled for daring to express ideas that deviate from the prevailing, batshit crazy orthodoxies around race and gender. They’ve been publicly shamed, had their lives threatened, and quite a few of them have lost their jobs. Many people who typically vote blue had become so repulsed by the Democratic Party’s progressive wing that they either withheld their votes last week or decided to cast them for Trump.

Having borne close witness to woke’s destruction,1 which I wrote about in last week’s newsletter, I’m one of those Democrats who didn’t vote. And, as I also said in that newsletter, I can’t help but feel relieved that the Democrats lost. It’s like a spell has been broken. (Well, almost.)

A lot of people feel very differently. They’re calling it the end of democracy. The arrival of fascism. “Last week was America’s last presidential election,” I’ve heard.

I’m friends with a lot of these folks on Facebook, which looks like the polar opposite of my feed on X, where many are saying they feel similarly to me. My Facebook friends are grief-stricken—as grief-stricken as they were in November 2016, if not more so. And I empathize with them. I worry, too, about the next four years. But, unlike them (it seems), I’ve completely lost faith in the party that, as a “good, liberal gay person,” I’m supposed to blindly support. And I’ve completely lost faith in the liberal media that props that party up. I mean completely and utterly lost faith. I read impassioned write-ups in legacy media outlets about the problem with Trump’s latest cabinet picks and I think, OK, yeah, you could very well be right. But do you seriously expect me to take your word for it? Do you actually think I would still believe a single thing you say, after all the lies you’ve shamelessly told? I mean, come on. You even deny the reality of sex!

Countless conservatives have been screwed over by woke, but many good, hardworking, liberal Americans who cast their vote for Harris last week have too. Liberal Americans who can’t be entirely blamed for signing off on the excesses of the illiberal left. Why do I think they can’t be blamed? Well, for one, everyone is so goddamn busy. They’re busy with kids and spouses and jobs. They have health scares and parents with Alzheimer’s and cars making weird noises. If you think about it, it’s kind of a big ask to expect everyone to know that most if not all of the news outlets and institutions they’ve venerated for decades had been captured by a backwards ideology. Yes, maybe some of these ideas sounded nuts to them. Maybe somewhere in the back of their minds, they periodically thought, Well that doesn’t seem right. But then it was 8pm and the dishes were piled up in the sink and their youngest hadn’t even started his homework yet.

Not to mention that, day after day, woke scolds were hammering into their brains that if they didn’t go along with these ideas and promote them to others, they were “very bad people.” This is what “good” is now. “Good” is telling little boys who like Barbies they’re actually girls and then giving them the same drugs that are used to castrate sex offenders. “Good” is telling a young black boy that the entire world is against him and that he could keep trying, sure, but he’ll probably end up dead or in jail anyway. “Good” is telling 15-year-old girls that, yes, it’s totally normal for you to want a mastectomy, let’s go see if we can make that happen. “Good” is convincing vulnerable white people they’re inherently evil.

On top of that, they were shamed for dating or befriending or even liking the social media posts of anyone who doesn’t follow the orthodoxy. Those people are transphobes. They’re white supremacists. Every minor objection was a “right-wing dog whistle.”

It’s the oldest trick in the cultists’ playbook: Cut off your followers from all outsiders and their ideas.

People talk about the cult of Trump, and there is a cult of Trump. Watching nearly the entire GOP collapse around him on bended knee has been a strange thing to witness.2 But a lot of people who voted for Trump didn’t vote for Trump. They voted against the Democratic Party. They voted against woke.

It’s that damn Newton’s law again. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The woke cult and the cult of Trump. The cult of Trump and the woke cult.

Back and forth, back and forth. Left and right are pushed further and further apart, each side fighting to drag the center along with them.

So what’s the solution?

Break the cultists’ rules. Befriend and date people on the other side. Dare to (gasp!) like their social media posts. And talk to people. Believe it or not, there might be a lot of reasons why a Latino voter chose Trump other than, “Oh wow, turns out Latinos are racist.” A Brooklyn mom who wants universal healthcare isn’t necessarily an anti-American commie. And the white lady who doesn’t want her 19-year-old daughter to have to compete against males in sports might not actually want to “eradicate all trans people.” She might just know what fairness is. And she might just love her daughter.

So maybe start there? It’ll be uncomfortable, sure, but that’s the easy part. The hard part comes when you have to admit where you were wrong.

-

1 I considered not using “woke” to describe what I’m talking about here but it’s just so damn succinct and everyone knows precisely what I mean when I say it.

2 I am absolutely not saying that all Trump voters are cultists, just like I would not say that all Democrats are cultists.

==

The Dems will keep losing until they learn this lesson.

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." -- George Santayana

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 1: pre-gaming

webcomic day is a yearly celebration of the art form concocted by the screentones podcast team as a way for people to see how the sausage gets made. my webcomic "a ghost story" has been running for over 10 years, and yet i still don't think i can say i am good at making a webcomic. regardless, the comic is getting made because otherwise i become very, very sick in the head. today i would like to share with you the process of making a page of "A Ghost Story" from start to finish. either this demystifies the process or will make you think im so cool and strong for doing this 2x a week. instead of reblogging this one post until it gets very long, i will be posting individual updates that i will then compile and post on my personal website. block the tags now if you HATE comics and want them to EXPLODE.

if you have any questions, even things like "what the fuck are you even talking about" feel free to ask. i want to feel confident in what i make again and i think sometimes interrogation from an outside source is really

---

that said, let's get started. wait just kidding i want a cup of coffee first, hold on.

ok now im ready. i have a big glass of water. i have coffee. i have a headset for the parts of work that don't involve typing words. i can't type words and listen to some streamer babble in my ear at the same time, so it has to be instrumental music or nothing. i just took my meds so they should kick in after about 30 mins. i woke up late today, which is weird and annoying. but maybe i can work late instead.

first off, i need to know where i'm going beyond this one page. if i dont know where im going with something, then i usually create something that sucks that i have to deal with later. hold on my internet died, i have to reset the router. ok, anyway.

what's rattling around in my brain is that not only do i have to deal with maxine's current predicament, i am also dealing with multiple plot elements i need to wrap back around to from the previous chapter. luckily, im about to put maxine down for a nap, which means i can get back to those other elements:

i need to finish the exposition from the three ankou characters for this story arc establishing their motivations as the oppositional force in the story. the "villain" is not these three specifically, but their boss. they need to have a loose understanding of what's going on in order to communicate this to the audience. god this started turning into a huge ass paragraph so i'll just keep it short there.

we've jumped back to before jack's horrible day from the first chapter of this storyline so we have to make our way back toward that and then lapping it, which means wrapping up his various open threads like:

feeding victoria and learning something new about her

finding out alice is a very exceptional employee who is getting many awards

watching valdo call lily while interrupting her during something personal to ask her for help with maxine's situation.

jack meeting with valdo and lily the day after they first met so jack can just tell them straight up that lily has 4 sisters she doesnt know about.

help that girl with her poltergeist problem. remember that. i've had jokes for this rattling in my head for like 4 years. im going insane.

and also the fucking tilberi!!! that has a point its going somewhere!!! there's a larger menace here!!!

other things to set up the climax of this storyline. sexual tensions, hints at larger emotional problems not immediately evident to the reader

lots of moving parts. and i feel like im moving in slow motion to get to them. i can see them all weaving together in my head, its the process of putting that onto paper that's proving difficult.

ok that took an hour starting and stopping. -_- let me write the next part as i keep brainstorming on how to approach this page. taking a "rubber duck" approach to this might help. heres an image from the last page i worked on (i have a 5 page buffer rn so the site does not match the finished pages) to get us semi-situated.

also because images will help people understand what skill level we're working with here. i need to be able to communicate an idea to the audience; if the art also looks good on top of that, then that's just an added bonus. but the ability to communicate my ideas is sometimes hampered by my lack of artistic skill or comics language ineptitude. like those speech bubbles kind of fucking suck but at a certain point you have to just hit print on what you're working on in order to keep your already glacial pace.

webcomics is a tightrope act where you're also spinning 4 plates at once. the trick is to keep the audience from realizing how many actually fall or how wobbly they all are. the act sucks but technically its not a failure.

[ilidaeandquill]

All Is Fair in Death and War - Character Analysis/Notes

The Curse - Depression

“Ilidae the curse isn’t a character.” Yeah I know but I need to take notes on it anyway. "Ilidae that gif isn't the curse-" YEAH I KNOW but we're going to pretend, ok? The first victim of the curse that Lambert actually cares about is an axolotl so that's where the idea came from. And we're going to roll with it. Because. Please.

Alright kids let’s talk about magic cannibalism :)

(Keep reading for analysis/breakdown) First Chapter: All Is Fair in Death and War - Chapter 1 - IlidaeAndQuill - Cult of the Lamb (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own] (Last week this fic was under 1,000 hits, now it's over 1,100 which is insane - thank you!!! New chapter on 3/22 yippee :D)

Primary Motivation: The curse itself has no thoughts, feelings, or ambitions. It is a brainless parasite: it spreads from host to host. It is only able to spread via living bodies of both flora and fauna. It cannot survive in a corpse.

Character Traits: I spent so fucking long cursing followers just to read their thoughts, and you want to know what I got???

“Moan. Groan. Grunt.” “No. No. No.”

That's it. Dude. DUDE.

Theme Song: THIS ONE THIS ONE THIS ONE OMG ALSO THIS ONE HONESTLY ANY SONG FOR THE GLOOM FROM TOTK FITS

Voice Claim: Tumblr is being a doo-doo head and not letting me upload a video of the cursed follower's groans/grunts, so you're going to have to rely on this video for a better grasp on the sounds they make. If I make a second post about the curse containing spoilers (which I detail more about in the section below), I'll add my own video there.

Appearance Inspiration: I rely mainly on the canon appearance of the curse, obviously, but I also took inspiration from Malice (BotW)/Gloom (TotK) (and I've finally gotten around to playing EoW so I might take some inspiration from the rifts/Still World/Null/whatever else it's called), as well as the curse from Princess Mononoke to expand on its appearance/effect.

(I'm pretty sure Nintendo took inspiration from Princess Mononoke for BotW and TotK so uuhhhh I guess it's all inspired by Princess Mononoke. Shoutout to Hayao Miyazaki thank you for changing my life for the millionth time.)

The Curse is the main antagonistic force (NOT ANTAGONIST - THAT'S A DIFFERENT THING) in AIFiDaW, and is the primary representation of the depression stage of grief.

"A sinking sorrow one could not escape, no matter how much they yearned, how long they prayed." (Chapter 6: Ever the Wild Ones)

It is the thing all characters wish to dismantle or destroy, the enemy no one wants to face, yet must somehow conquer to achieve their end goal in the story. Just, uh, typically in the real world, depression via grief doesn't make you eat people.

Random facts/Trivia: - Goatfrey is the only one who is immune to the curse. Everyone else is fucked lmao. - The Curse's first appearance is actually in "I’ll Place My Heart in Your Hands, Swear to Keep It Safe" which I wrote back in September 2024. When I say I've been planning this story for months, I meant it. - That said I don't recommend that story too much, I need to go back and fix the tense. It's very obvious I also used that story to get back into writing after taking a few months off lol. - I might go back and capitalize The Curse in the story idk, what do you think I should do? - The curse is actually HAHA LMAO I can't tell you that. That's a masssiiiveee spoiler. I was thinking about doing a spoiler-only section to this post detailing what the curse is/where it came from. Maybe I'll make a separate post for that, maybe I won't, but for now that information is just going to live in my brain. - As my apology for being unable to spoil what the curse is, please take this clip of Goatfrey bullying Narinder.

Anyway - thank you for reading! These notes were a little tricky to make, especially since there isn't much canon info on the curse/most of the lore I made for the curse contains spoilers for AIFiDaW, but I hope you enjoyed them regardless!

Chapter 8 is coming out this Saturday YIIPPEEE! Ya'll. I'm so excited to start posting those chapters again. We're coming up on the end of the first arc, so things are about to get very intense I'M SO EXCITED TO WRITE IT OMMGG

Speaking of writing... bro. Stop reading this. Go be creative. Draw a picture. Write a story. Stop procrastinating and make something cool (I'm talking to myself here lol).

Theme

The Goat/Goatfrey - Narinder - The Lamb/Lambert - The Curse

Leshy - Heket - Kallamar - Shamura

Jalala - Rinor - Fena - Aym & Baal - The Mystic Seller

[mattstrahm]

blogging? on my blog?

i love that when fia doubled down on their statement i told my friend i really do think what's gonna happen is wrc drivers will go "okay, no comments then :)" and that's exactly what's happened. also love learning that they talked in their little groupchat after sweden how the fine is horse shit and julien ingrassia's french ass was like well i've been wanting to unionize so i'm starting a union :) that's so fun.

i have been so productive for to1u this year i'm so happy with it. 10* works is really good and honestly about what i expected to do? could've been more if i was more capable of writing a couple hundred words of light and fluffy but that's not really how my brain operates so ehhh... i guess i did also abandon something ~700 words in but it just wasn't working. maybe another time. pro's been so so busy i haven't been able to get my longer fic beta'd so it's been a good distraction !!

(*i think seven that actually go on my profile)

i do think i'm done after finishing the 10th one tho, got stuff to do tomorrow if i wanna be home for reveals on friday (and i do bc i gotta make a tumblr post for the art don't i) and then i'll work on the 52 weeks sequel until time begins prompts open next weeeeek and i'm hoping something gets my attention asap. it's been so good to have baseball back also, can't wait for the season to actually start !!

doing art was so much fun it's been so long i hope to at least sort of keep that up since the job market fucking sucks so i don't have anything better to do all day do i. also got crafts projects i wanna get off the ground and a couple of books i gotta listen to, i just haven't had time with how much i've been writing.

ok good talk once again lemme actually finish this fic so i can get it posted and be done xx

[thecoziestbean]

I am so ready for spring and sunshine and warmer weather. Looking ahead to the next three months, I know things are going to stay pretty crazy for me in real life so I'm still trying to scale expectations on the writing front. I have a handful of projects I've been working on and want to keep working on, and if I manage to finish any of them by the end of May, awesome.

The Haladriel Fic Exchange: Ok, I do actually have to finish this one. Fics are due later this month, but this will be the last fandom event I commit to for awhile. I love my prompt though!

Another Haladriel one-shot: I'm not going to say much about this one, but it's a weird ass dead dove idea I've been kicking around for a few weeks and I'd dearly love to purge it from my brain.

Haladriel Fluff Week: I love writing fluff drabbles, and I've got some ideas cooking. I also have an idea for a one-shot but I'm not going to make myself crazy trying to pull that off. If it happens, it happens.

meet me at the edge: I've made some good progress again on meet me this year. The next chapter is close to done, but I'm considering finishing the remainder of the story before I post anything new, just to make sure I nail the ending and don't write myself into any corners. We'll see.

The Venus of Valinor: Venus is in a very similar place to meet me. I've been working on it pretty consistently again, the next chapter is almost done, but I think I'm going to finish the entire thing before I post again. Crazy that I have two big WIPs so close to being done.