#I have been enjoying Emily Henry's rom-coms

[vfdinthewild]

"We sat next to each other, in an elective class that was more a semester-long Jane Austen book club, on our very first day of college."

-from Funny Story by Emily Henry, ch 13

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

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🦇 It Happened One Summer Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD What's your go-to summer read?❓ 🦇 Hollywood's It-Girl Piper Bellinger is the paparazzi's beloved wild child. There's always the promise she'll go a bit too far for the Gram, including hosting a rooftop party that lands her in jail after a bad breakup. Hoping she'll learn some sense of responsibility, her wealthy step-father ships her off to her late father's dive bar in the small town of Westport. She's not there for five minutes before she meets grumpy sea captain Brendan, and the two instantly clash. Will Piper reconnect with her past (charting a course for a new future in the process) or can she get back to LA before the end of her three-month sentence?

💜 Despite how much my beloved Booksta girlies adore her writing, I honestly didn't know what to expect from Tessa Bailey (and I'm glad, because I love shaping my own opinions). From chapter one, there's this instantly familiar yet distinct voice that SCREAMS chick-flick rom-com (with Kesha playing at full volume in the background). Piper is Alexis from Schitt's Creek meets Elle Woods ala Legally Blonde. She's vibrant and bubbly and yes, a little ditzy, but after a few chapters, you start to love her for the heart behind it. Brendan is all salt water and deep grumbles, strong yet stuck in his ways. My latest concern with rom-coms lately has been a lack of chemistry. Too many books rush to the smut, forcing two characters to fit when they just don't. Chemistry sparks off the page pretty quickly between these two, though--not in lingering glances, but in actions. Brendan has memory foam installed over a bunkbed so Piper can stop bruising herself. He changes her locks because everyone in Westport has a key to her building. It's not insta-love (but once things progress, these two burn HOT), and I'm grateful for that.

💜 It's the underlying messages that bumped this up to a rare 3.5 stars. People have been putting Piper into a box for too long, telling her she's just like every other girl in LA, that she won't amount to more. Brendan shows her she has so much more to give than she realizes. We start adoring Piper through Brendan, and that's a powerful thing. Meanwhile, Piper recognizes her worth and accomplishes far more than she thought herself capable. There's an underlying theme of guilt and grief from both sides, too; Piper for her late father, and Brendan for his late wife. They heal together and end up stronger for it.

💙 It's the third act that made my star rating falter. Piper clinging to pieces of her past, that lingering what-if of falling back into her comfort zone and old ways--Brendan shouldn't have faulted her for that, turning it into a blowout fight when Piper admitted EARLIER that she didn't know what to do. After that, it's a number of conveniently placed obstacles that keep them apart. Piper's sudden decision to go back to LA felt out of place given her character development, too. Though it wasn't a full third-act breakup, it was enough to feel exhausting.

🦇 Recommended for fans of Emily Henry, Ali Hazelwood, and Hannah Grace.

✨ The Vibes ✨ ⚓ Small Town Romance ⚓ Contemporary Romance ⚓ Schitt's Creek Inspired ⚓ Grumpy/Sunshine ⚓ Opposites Attract ⚓ First in a Duology ⚓ He Falls First

💬 Quotes ❝ I can be in a room full of people that I know & still not feel like I belong. ❞ ❝ This girl. He'd be keeping her. There was no way around it. ❞ ❝ Apparently he enjoyed that now. Being confused & charmed & pulled apart over this woman. ❞ ❝ "I like the things that make you Piper. Don't go changing them now. ❞

[blackbird-brewster]

Friday Fic Recs

What I've Read:

Criminal Minds, JJ/Tara/Emily, Tara/Rebecca

Rated: E || WC: 218,576

Why I Love It: I just finished my first read through of Part 3 since I finished it back in December. Let me tell you, it was SUCH a delight. I had forgotten so many little details, I was constantly gasping and sharing parts of it with my partner in utter delight. If you want a light-hearted polyamorous rom-com AU, this is the series for you! Reading Part 3 instantly inspired me to start Part 1 over again. I'll never get tired of this series.

Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily

(Unrated) || WC: 1512

Author: villainousunsub

Why I Love It: I've been reading some of my old Jemily faves again. This is such a great one-shot. This is such a beautifully written one-shot. Lots of fluff and fun with the whole team.

Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily

Rated: G || WC: 1944

Author: velutluna_ithil (@velutluna )

Why I Love It: The weather is getting colder where I live and this is the perfect winter fic. Domestic Jemily will always hold a special spot in my heart and reading Emily with Henry is so delightful. This is just a soft, fluffy, fic that ticks all the boxes for me.

WIP I'm Excited About:

Criminal Minds, Emily x Reader

Rated: E || WC: TBD

Author: kattwyllie (@storiesofsvu )

* Read on Tumblr [here]

Why I Love It: As soon as I heard 'Emily as a Sugar Mama' I was intrigued. The set-up in this first chapter is already amazing and I am highly looking forward to reading more. I never thought I'd be reading reader insert fics and I definitely never thought I'd be hyped about a reader series, but Katt single-handedly changed my mind and all my preconceived notions. The way she writes is so magnificent, you can't help but get drawn in. This story is sure to be an exhilarating read.

What I'm Writing:

Criminal Minds, JJ/Tara

Rated: E || WC: 88,000

Updates: I have been working on this for what seems like three years (it's probably been a month). Compiling all of the drafts, outlines, and cut scenes into one full version of this fic has proved to be a monumental task. I know this fic was already niche because it's JJ/Tara, but I hope my handful of Jara readers will enjoy this extended cut and the look at what the writing process was like for such a difficult fic format.

More Fic Recs Under the Cut

Other Recommendations:

Past Friday Fic Recs:  [Friday Fic Recs - Tumblr] || [CM Fic Recs - AO3 Collection]

Rec Lists: [JJ/Emily] || [Tara/Emily] || [CM Femslash]

My Fics: [Jemily] || [Temily] || [Jara] || [Smut] ||  [All]

[expressions-lsr]

‧͙✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧‧͙✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The Team; Introduction

‧͙✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧‧͙✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Editorial Board

Meet the Heads:

Anusurjya Borah

A third-year Psychology Hons. student who’s a hopeless romantic and whose love of life is words, this author’s sole ambition in life is to own a cottage in the mountains and have a black cat named Salem.

However, forced to be in this grind for success in life, she finds escape through dance and the culinary arts, and the worlds of Holly Black, Benjamin Sáenz, Madeline Miller, anime, and Asian drama series. In moments when she needs a reconnect to the world she inhabits in real life, the works of Murakami, Vuong, and Hosseini are what ground her back in.

A perfectionist and a procrastinator, the only thing that truly drives her at all times, anytime, is the desire to live to the fullest. Perhaps that is why the words that have been a constant in her life are: To Be, or Not To Be? That is the question after all.

[Read Anusurjya's piece here]

Shifa Neyaz

Hi!! I am Shifa, a second year English Honours student. I am one of those people who has tried every hobby in the world, but through the years only some have stayed with me, those being reading, writing, crochet and fitness.

Writing is and has been one of the biggest parts of my life and I believe that it has had a big hand in shaping me into the person that I am today. It has been my support system, creative and emotional outlet and my escape from reality all at the same time.

What got me into writing in the first place was reading. I once randomly bought a dork diaries book in 6th grade and have never turned back since. From Fantasy writers like Cassandra Clare and Holly Black, Romance writers like Lynn Painter and Emily Henry to all-time-favourites like Jane Austen and Charlotte Brönte, I have read and loved every one of these writers' works.

Enough about my hobbies (hehe), if I were to describe myself in a few words, I'd say I am the loudest person in the room, I am the biggest cat-lover, I have a smile for everybody and I absolutely love watching and reading anything and everything that comes under the category of Rom-coms.

I'm so excited to be a part of Expressions and can't wait for everything that's to come!!

[Read Shifa's piece here]

Meet the Sub-Head:

Attrija

Helllooooo! I am a second year Political Science student. I am a cat mum and I love reading classical and feminist literature. I love the book The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath and I think about the fig tree analogy almost everyday! I mainly write confessional poems and I discovered my love for writing serendipitously. Writing is an inseparable part of my life. I mainly write in order to feel truly free. I love exploring and experimenting with different genres and writing styles. I have read and thoroughly enjoyed Camus, Dostoyevsky, Brontë, Austen, Fitzgerald, Dickens, Wilde, Woolf, Tolstoy and Kafka. I also love watching romcoms and F1 in my free time. You can find me talking in the reference library of lsr with my classmates about feminism, absurdism, art and politics in general. I can never leave my room without a book in my bag, it just feels incomplete!

I love expressions to the very core and I am so grateful to be a part of this beautiful society <333

[Read Attrija's piece here]

[mommy-mystic]

✨️ Mid Year Reading Wrap-Up ✨️

I cannot believe it, I'm a reader 🤩 this year I truly discovered (maybe for the first time) how much I enjoy reading. The past several years I was so engrossed in nonfiction, psychology, parenting books, children's lit, academic reading, and classics that I ignored all other genres. However, finally, I started enjoying good, old fashioned stories again. Much to my surprise, I've been loving the fantasy genre! (Rom-com makes me cringe but it's easy/entertaining to read too!)

Here's the books I've read this year so far (that i can remember) 📚

Sacred Earth, Sacred Soul: a Celtic Guide to Listening to Our Souls & Saving the World by John Phillip Newell 🌿

The Witch's Feast: a Kitchen Grimoire by Melissa Madara 🔮

The Thorns Remain by JJA Hardwood 🧚‍♀️

Cackle by Rachel Harrison 🔮

Bringing up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 🇫🇷

The Entire Twilight Saga (again) by Stephanie Meyer 😔💀🌧

Plant Parenting: Easy Ways to Make More Houseplants, Vegetables, and Flowers by Leslie F. Halleck 🪴

From Bad to Cursed by Lana Harper 🔮

The Bone Orchard by Sara A. Mueller 🦴🧠👻

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman 🔮

The Power of Bad: How the Negativity Effect Rules Us & How We Can Rule It by John F Tierney and Roy F. Baumeister 📖🎓

Small Town, Big Magic by Hazel Beck 🔮

Beach Read by Emily Henry 📚⛱️

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondō 🧹

Messy Minimalism : Realistic Strategies for the Rest of Us by Rachelle Crawford 🧹

Scottish Witchcraft : A Complete Guide to Authentic Folklore, Spells, and Magickal Tools by Barbara Meiklejohn-Free 🔮

📚📚📚📚📚📚

I think The Bone Orchard, Cackle, The Thorns Remain, & Beach Read take the cake on my favorite reads of the year so far. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I forgot I even read at ALL until making this list and opening a Goodreads account. I even had to check my list of library rentals to remember it all! Quick note: I'm obsessed with the Army library on base as well as the one by our house & the state digital library I access with the Libby app.

📚 Currently, I'm reading another parenting book, another fantasy, and my FIRST Silvia Moreno-Garcia!

🎃 I swear one day I'll make a list of all my fav Children's and storybooks we have in our house, especially the creepy Halloween/spooky ones!

[notebookmusical]

Different person here- I haven't read Ariadne, but I recently read Clytemnestra which is considered "similar" and I think has basically the same marketing applied to it. I HATE that they call it a "feminist retelling"! It's a retelling from the female character's perspective, but I don't consider that inherently feminist. It gives the wrong impression! Personally I enjoyed the book (although I didn't love it). But definitely has skewed marketing applied to try to reach certain demographics instead of just being honest. So frustrating.

i agree with you — just because a story is retold from a female character’s perceptive doesn’t make it inherently feminist!! i feel like there are so many books out there that i’ve read that i’d like more if i went in with different expectations! it’s just so frustrating. i think a good chunk of it can also be boiled down to the tropeification of books, like the trope graphics, etc. — i’m thinking about picking up the times i picked up books i was told were rom coms, but didn’t have a HEA, and wasn’t comedic at all, and sometimes this is how books are marketed and sometimes this is just … how people (like bookish influencers) talk about books? something that jumps to mind is when a booktoker said seven days in june filled the emily henry hole in their chest, and i liked seven days in june but it was nothing like an emily henry! i don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with trope graphics, to be fair, just that sometimes i think they’re not done correctly? in the way that most enemies to lovers is usually annoyances to lovers, a one sided enemies to lovers where the other party has been in love with them the entire time or really, just rivals to lovers. ugh. just frustrating.

[aashvi-dhingra]

4 Bookstagram books that I've read and are worth the hype.

i am a typical Gen-z Instagram user, the one who consumes the most viral videos when they emerge on my Instagram feed. besides the entertaining Instagram feed there's one thing that keeps me scrolling on my phone for hours and that's a sub community called Bookstagram. in a nutshell, Booktagaram or BookTok is a popular hashtag used where users post quick videos, reviewing and recommending novels that generally fall within the genre of young adult and romance. Its a collection of young, impassioned readers inspiring countless others to join the club. a TikTok or Instagram book is quite simply a book that has organically gained popularity on the app, you'll find recommendations based on popular tropes like "forced proximity", "who did this to you" and yes of course "enemies to lovers."

the real challenge is not to find a book to read because there's countless readers recommending countless books on Instagram, but which book is actually worth reading or worth the hype? I have made the task easier...here are my top four BookTok books that I have read and are actually worth the hype.

#1 TWISTED LOVE by ANA HUANG

this right here! this is the book that took the entire internet by storm, the morally grey male lead and the sunshine female lead will keep you hooked up to this book for days.

Ana Huang, after the success of twisted love emerged a series called 'The Twisted Series' comprising four books but when talking about the entire series i have mixed feelings about it. all the four books have different tropes and different endings that's bonus points for the series. coming back to the Twisted Love, an explosive dark romance mixed with witty humor is definitely a page turner.

#2 SEVEN HUSBANDS OF EVELYN HUGO by TAYLOR JENKINS

Have you really been on BookTok if you haven't encountered a book by Taylor Jenkins Reid? this cult classic historical fiction released in 2017 follows Monique Grant, a journalist who has been selected by the glamourous yet reclusive Hollywood starlet and movie icon, Evelyn Hugo. Evelyn wants Monique to write an exclusive story about her life. the book unfolds, Monique soon discovers how her life intersects with Evelyn's in tragic and irreversible ways.

it immediately transported me to the glory days of old Hollywood and sucked me into the world of the rich and famous that isn't as fabulous as it's chalked up to be. Evelyn Hugo is a character who everybody will feel and root for, envy and pity.

fun fact: popular streaming platform Netflix has announced the adaption of this book into a film.

#3 PEOPLE WE MEET ON VACATION by EMILY HENRY

this was actually the first book that i read off Bookstagarm, the internet has embraced the wonderfully rich characters that Emily Henry creates in her beach reads. thanks to the witty dialogue and banter between Alex and Poppy, two close friends who met in college this book will engulf you into warm feels of summer love.

every summer no matter what's going on in their lives, they take a vacation together. it's told through both past and present timelines, and in the present, we learn that the friends have experienced fallen out. in order to fix it, poppy invites Alex on a trip to Palm Springs in hopes that they can reconnect. will feelings get in the way?

if you enjoy friends to lover's trope this is definitely a recommendation for you. for me the slow burn and the chemistry between the characters was everything! all the events and banter and love was just so natural that it can't be helped but be hooked to this book

i might have finished reading this in a week or maybe less, this book is definitely worth messing up your sleep schedule for.

#4 THE LOVE HYPOTHESIS by Ali Hazelwood

the ultimate rom-com that tackles my favorite trope Grumpy meets sunshine is a shelf keeper. pure slow burning gold with lots of chemistry and a beautifully written romantic comedy with a heroine you will instantly fall in love with.

for all the "women in stem" the book did serve a justice. there were times when i had to pick up my phone and search the meaning od particular word because i am obviously not fluent in stem. .

I have to say this couple wins the best grumpy meets sunshine couple. smart, witty dialogue and diverse cast of likeable secondary characters is a delight for romance lovers. without any doubt you will absolutely fall in love with Adam's and Olive's relationship.

this book has everything to offer, a fake dating trope and steamy relationship with age gap romance! how can i not include this in the list.

and that's a wrap up for my list of favorite books recommended by Instagram.

[shadowriel]

When I say that I was shocked and delighted that you said you would marry smut and fuck angst....obsessed.

I feel like you're my long lost best friend. I am resonating so much with what you're saying. The Nanny was such a fundamental piece of my childhood! I also adore early 2000s rom-coms, love Hozier, and LOVE Ali Hazelwood. And Book Lovers is my favorite Emily Henry book by far. I think my favorite part of Emily Henry (and book lovers specifically) is how much I fall for her characters. When I'm reading one of her books, the characters feel like well loved friends that are telling me their story.

Could you tell me what it is about Love on the Brain that you love? And also Book Lovers?

I just got home from a loooooong day of class. And now I'm fighting the battle of resting tonight or getting ahead on some assignments...the constant struggle. 🎄❤️

omg maybe when all is revealed, we can shriek with each other in our DMs?!

I love so much about those books! They're generally light-hearted and fun, but I think the emotional depth and the connections between the characters is what has really stuck with me. In Love on the Brain, there's that huge paragraph sent between characters that lives in my head rent-free. And there's this sort-of quiet comfort in that book, when they're making space for each other in their lives. Like when they're simply existing in the same place? I eat that up.. (and have been trying to re-create that feeling in my own LOTB-inspired fic).

I enjoy similar things about Book Lovers. I love the chemistry between the leads and the emphasis on the sister's relationship. There's just something about that book that fills my heart in the best possible way, especially when Emily Henry leans into the trope of "unlovable" characters and lets them fall in love so deeply that you can't imagine it any other way. Ughhh I just re-read this book, and now I'm tempted to go back and read it again!

I feel you on the long-day of classes! Rest is always so much better, but I usually end up wishing I'd done something productive. But I'm often catching up, not getting ahead haha.

[lucky555]

July Reading Wrap-Up

I recently got a kindle paper white as an early birthday gift from my parents and it has brought back the reader in me. I read a total of 7 books this month and I am thrilled to talk about them.

________

People We Meet on Vacation - Emily Henry (3 stars)

This is the first ever rom-com book I have ever read. At the beginning of July I had an urge to try out a light-hearted rom-com as my usual choice of book always falls in the literary fiction, horror, psychological thriller, mystery, genres. I was pleasantly surprised by this book as I went into it blindly and loved the chemistry between the main characters. It was a fun and easy read and made me want to give Emily's other books a shot as well.

Uzumaki: Spiral into Horror, Vol. 1 - Junji Ito (4 stars)

I love anything Junji Ito creates and this was definitely one of them. I am definitely going to read the other 2 volumes as I really really enjoyed this one. Also recently found out that an anime has been released for this manga and I will also definitely be checking that out.

Mr Salary - Sally Rooney (4 stars)

I LOVED THIS SO MUCH I NEED IT AS A FULL NOVEL NOW. It was a short story and I wish there was more. That's all I have to say.

Y/N - Esther Yi (3 stars)

I really liked the premise of this book and I think it had tremendous potential to be something INCREDIBLE. However, it did fall flat for me as I expected much more of the psychological horror and thriller aspects. It is a very original concept and I did enjoy the read.

Never Lie - Frieda McFadden (5 stars)

This was my first Frieda book and WOW. I genuinely finished this in one sitting, it kept me interested the ENTIRE TIME. There was not a single boring aspect of this book and it is what I needed after reading some slow-placed books.

The Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka (4 stars)

As someone who loves philosophy, this book was incredible and that is what I expected going into it.

Beach Read - Emily Henry (1 star)

I absolutely hated this book. I was extremely excited going into it given that I thoroughly enjoyed 'people we meet on vacation', however, this trope, the characters, and the plot was all SO boring and not summery at all. Given that it is quite LITERALLY called beach read I expected it to be very light hearted and fun, which it was not. I am still going to give her other books a chance and I hope that they live up to their expectations.

[stillmuseum]

romance books of the year - 2023

As my tastes change and evolve, this is the genre that I have the most difficulty with. I am increasingly frustrated with lackluster writing and character development. Some books can been so superficial or saccharine I feel dumber for having read them. Still, it remains my most read genre, so let’s discuss some of my notable romance reads this year.

Wicked Beauty by Katee Robert (& Katee Robert in general. I read a lot of their books this year 😅)

This one is tricky, because I admire Robert a lot. I think they are brave and unashamed. As a reader, I find their work to be very intentional about content and inclusivity in a way that doesn’t feel like pandering. However, I do not think they are a good writer. Their characters are often underdeveloped. Their plot lines are often underdeveloped. Their world building can be vague to the point of nonsensicality. But, sometimes, the smut is hot, so I keep coming back.

In the context of their work, Wicked Beauty feels like an exception. This particular book is a Greek myth reimagining where Helen of Troy, Achilles & Patroclus compete in a gladiator-like competition designed to determine who will be the next Ares. [In this world, the Greek gods are a mob family of sorts where certain “gods” aren’t so much people as they are a job title - Zeus being the godfather, Ares, his general. This description does not entirely fit. Honestly, it’s confusing. Chalk it up to that poor world building I was talking about.]

Despite it’s conceptional drawbacks, this book was self contained enough, and had a built in competition plot line, that my normal problems with Robert’s writing weren’t a concern.

I have since read 2 more polyamorous romances by Robert and have enjoyed them as well, however, I’m tempted to completely skip any of Robert’s books in 2024.

The Nanny by Lana Ferguson

Oooh, yes, let’s get in to a book that I loved!

This book was such a lovely surprise. A near perfect rom-com.

It features a single dad looking for a new nanny for his daughter. Cue our heroine, a young occupational therapy student looking for a school friendly gig. Sparks fly, and memories resurface. Turns out our dad used to subscribe to our heroine's OnlyFans and ghosted her just when their relationship was about to turn non-anonymous.

So good and deliciously smutty. I wish our heroine felt a little more balanced in her characterization. We know she’s a university student, but we didn’t see much of her life on page, outside of her relationship with the hero and his daughter.

(P.S. The kid isn't annoying at all. Thank god!)

Beach Read by Emily Henry

What an interesting read... this book is very hard to review. On one hand , this book and Emily Henry herself are very beloved. On the other, there is a narrative out there that if you like one Emily Henry you might not like the others. As the romance connoisseur that I am, I knew I had to try her books one day but they didn't seem like my style. She was giving a bit of Sophia Kinsella or adult Meg Cabot. You know, chick-lit vibes. This one sounded like it had the most interesting personal drama.

Our heroine is an author moves into the love nest that her father shared with his mistress in order to sell the house and, maybe, get her writing mojo back. Her neighbor is her college rival and fellow author who is also trying to get his writing mojo back. They challenge each other personally and professionally, all while falling in love. It was cute. I didn't love it though.

There are parts of this novel that hit very close to home, specifically around a parent’s infidelity and how that affects one's memory of them. I love how sensitively it was depicted. My admiration of how Henry wrote those parts really elevates my opinion of this book. I am happy I read it, but I am struggling with whether her other books will be worth my time.

Honey & Spice by Bolu Babalola

I'm gonna be honest, I think I set my expectations too high for this one. It features an enemies-to-lovers/fake dating relationship between a campus activist/radio show host and the hot new fuckboy in town. I thought the writing and character work was good. I appreciated the messiness of the campus relationships. Sometimes, in a romance novel, the world can feel so small - like the 6 characters we see are the only people that ever existed. Babalola avoids this pitfall by crafting a university setting that felt lived in and diverse.

Unfortunately, I don't like reading about people who work in the entertainment industry (or media, in general, really). I was hoping this would be an exception, but the heroine’s radio show is a major part of this book and I really struggled to care. Her activism took more of central role towards the end and it all felt very shallow and drawn out.

In the end, my frustrations with this book really outweighed all the places where it succeeded.

(I read this sometime after my favourite romance books of the year, which both featured characters who work/worked in media. So my distaste for this can be overcome, if I’m invested enough.)

Mistakes Were Made by Meryl Wilsner 

I had a soft goal to read more lesbian/women-loving-women romances this year that I kinda failed. This was a really good one though. It is a romance featuring a college student and the mother of one of her best friends. (Age gap romance, plus an additional taboo seems to be a winning combination for me.)

I don't have much to say about this one. The characters had chemistry but their romance wasn't very substantive. If they talked about things other than their relationship, it was implied or completely off page. I will say, it was very spicy. Definitely on the 'erotic romance' end of the spectrum.

In the end, though, this book was 350 pages and I think the plot and characterization were too thin to justify it. Still, it was a good time.

Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood

This is a tricky one. Plot wise, I like what Hazelwood is doing here. In this book we follow Elise as she is applying to a dream STEM teaching job. Complications arise because one of the staff members evaluating the applicants is the brother of a man she is fake dating for extra money. It is convoluted, but it works. The plot actually works. I like how she paced it out. The book never dragged or felt boring.

My problem with Hazelwood is her characters. Usually, they are charming enough to compensate for it, but in this book, our main character feels so empty inside. Some of that comes from the fact that she’s a people pleaser and prioritizes other peoples comfort over her own. The other reason is because Hazelwood decided to make her secret love of Twilight her whole personality. When I tell you this is her ONLY interest outside of science and our love interest, I am not kidding. There is a scene where she confesses to her best friend that although she has only ever watched prestige, Oscar bait films with her for the past however-many years, she has never liked a single one. Not one. After YEARS. She has nothing remotely positive to say about ANY film that she has claimed to care about and watched with her BEST friend. Impossible. You couldn’t give her one nice thing to say?! Does nuance not exist in the Ali Hazelwood STEM-niverse?!

I like Hazelwood well enough to keep reading her, but I am going to be more discerning about which of her books I actually pick up. (For example, I think I’m going to skip her paranormal romance book. I haven’t reviewed any of the paranormal romances that I read this year and it’s because it would be very redundant. You could copy/paste my feelings about this book on to any of those).

Forget Me Not by Julie Soto

Was this the worst romance I read this year… no. But it has the misfortune of being the straw that broke my romance camel’s back. After a year of reading romance books with decent plotting, serviceable writing but flat characters, I have had enough.

There is the potential for good characters here… a wedding planner and a florist who fell in and out of love years ago are now forced to work together for a high profile wedding. I love how passionate they are about their jobs. I love that their family lives are interesting - there’s even a little trauma. But there was a conversation between them that was basically repeated twice, once in a character’s present day recollection and another time in an actual flashback. This repetition didn’t make sense. There wasn’t any new information revealed or even added. I didn’t understand why Soto did that. Why not write a different scene or make their recollection less explicit? Then I thought, “Oh, these are the only scenes these characters have ever existed in.”

It sounds weird to say because, duh it’s fiction. But isn’t that the magic of fiction? That is makes us believe that these characters had lives before we met them and will continue to have lives after we say goodbye?

This wasn’t my only problem with this book but it is emblematic of the kinds of emotional beats that felt off to me and, overall, left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi & Seven days in June by Tia Williams

All things considered, it feels apt to end this post with these two books - despite having read them before any of the other books I’ve discussed.

Romance has been my top genre for the past 10 plus years and I think that has contributed to some of my ambivalence around my reading life. On one hand, romance is a very reliable genre for me. I know what to expect, especially from my favorite authors. However, the romance reader space is very fast moving and books can feel very disposable. Romance readers will forgive a lot. (I have forgiven a lot.) On the other hand, as I have discussed, there is so much mediocre writing in the romance genre. There is mediocre writing in every genre, sure, but I am intimately familiar with all the ways a romance novel can be bad and my patience for them has run very thin.

These two books are examples of the best that this genre has to offer, in my opinion, and I have been chasing the high of reading them ever since.

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty is about Feyi, a Nigerian born, New York based artist who lost her husband very early in their marriage and is still in deep grief 5 years later. As the novel begins, Feyi has decided to re-enter the dating scene - just for fun. Not looking for anything serious. However, despite her intentions, her love life get very complicated, very quickly. It is a character study on loving through grief, full of rich, complicated characters. I don't know how Emezi did it, but every character feels like a main character. Like if Emezi was so inclined, (and I hope she is) she could have a whole Fool of Death universe of spin-offs.

I don't want to say too much, because the less you know the better. I will say, it gets pretty messy and it deals with themes of grief and loss and is a little heavy at times. So, if you don't like the sound of that, this isn't for you. But if you're like me and you like a little mess in your romance books, this is a favourite of the year.

Along that same line, I have to talk about Seven Days in June, which made a big splash when it came out in 2021.

In 2021, I read an embarrassingly low number of black authors. This book and my disinterest in reading it was like a clarion call. I was seeing it all over social media, rave after rave, and my interest was tepid at best. For one, it was a second chance romance - which I thought I hated. It was also about famous people, which is generally a turn off. I don’t remember what finally convinced me… I was coming off the high that was Fool of Death, and I was really excited about the possibilities within black romance novels. Randomly, a close friend started reading it and she was enjoying it so much, I thought, “Why not?”

I was, almost immediately, impressed with the project of this book. It follows the love story of two very accomplished authors who are reunited as adults, years after a tumultuous teenage love affair. It explores themes of trauma bonding, chronic illness, alcoholism, black intellectual elitism, elitism within the literary community, co-dependency and inequity in education. All without falling into kitsch or preachiness, as some romances do. It was serious and honest. The characters were complex and endearing (I freaking love Shane!) It was just everything I want in a romance and, to have that experience back to back, with Fool of Death and Seven Days, it felt surreal.

Later in the year, I read The Perfect Find by Tia Williams in anticipation of the film and I enjoyed it. It never reached the heights that Seven Days in June did for me, but thats okay. It’s gonna be hard to top that experience. It has a lot of the same solid character development that Seven Days had, but it is less ambitious and feels more like a traditional romcom. Seven Days, in contrast, reads like literary romance.

Upon reflection of my year of romance reading, I definitely think I need to lean a little bit more into the literary romance space. That may mean that I am reading less romance in general, but I think that will be good for me. Considering how much romance I read this year, pulling books for this list was kind of sad. Most of them didn’t make it purely on the basis that they were unimpressive, not very good but not exceptionally bad either. That’s not okay to me. Next year, I want my top read genre to be the genre that I found the most satisfaction in. If that genre is romance, I will be very surprised.

[buggiesbuzzing]

First Dates with The BAU

• It took absolutely forever for Rossi to ask you out — he only came to his senses after Hotchner cornered him.

DAVID ROSSI

• Both of you are BAU agents and you had only been on the team for a few months; Aaron started to see Dave get distracted by you and he finally confronted him about it.

• David invited you over to his place for dinner and a movie, and honestly when he asked you over, you nearly fainted.

• You arrived 15 minutes early, so you ended up sitting in your car giving yourself a pep talk until it was exactly 6:30, which was the time agreed upon.

• When he opened the door, he was speechless.

• You were dressed like you'd been going to a charity ball. You were absolutely dazzling.

• He didn't hesitate to step aside and let you into his home.

• The smells. The warmth. Everything felt like something out of a dream.

• Rossi told you stories and charming jokes over dinner; he made you his favorite meal, carbonara.

• The evening was going really well and your face had started to ache from how much you'd been smiling.

• Overall the night felt like a dream, other than the fact that you'd drank a bit too much wine when you were trying ease your nerves.

• Rossi ended up snatched your keys and gave you a pair of pajamas to change into.

• He'd picked out some classic Italian film for you guys to watch after your meal, and you snuggled up to Dave's side to watch it.

• After the movie, he led you to a guest room in his self-proclaimed mansion and got you into bed before saying goodnight and leaving.

• Unbeknownst to you, he checked in on you every half hour for the next 3 hours before passing out in his own room a couple doors down from the one you were in.

• You woke up the next morning to Dave with a cup of coffee and an over the counter pain pill.

• Dave gave you back your keys and said his goodbyes before letting you head off to work.

• You always had a go bag stashed in your car, so you didn't bother driving home, and you headed off to Quantico.

• When you had gotten into work, Derek approached you, but before he could say anything about your sunglasses or your clearly disheveled appearance, you held your hand up to silence him and scuttled to the bathroom, go bag in hand and dreading all the questions you'd be asked today.

• Aaron had met you during a case, seeing as your brother was their unsub.

AARON HOTCHNER

• You instantly felt a connection when he first spoke to you, but didn't act on it until nearly 6 months after the case was closed.

• Agent Hotchner gave you his personal number if you'd ever needed to talk and one day, you took advantage of that.

• It was the anniversary of your brother being put in prison and you were exceptionally emotional - which ended up in a sad and tipsy call to the agent.

• Aaron's day was just going to be dedicated to paperwork from his latest case, but he decided he'd get to it another time.

• You were a hot mess when Hotchner arrived, but you couldn't bring yourself to get off of the couch and fix yourself up.

• He quickly picked up on what you were going through; a few cans of fruity flavored beer were semi-crushed and sitting on your coffee table along with a pint of sugary sweet ice cream and what looked like a nest of blankets was piled up on your couch.

• He easily made his way through your apartment since he'd been there before and got you a glass of water to try and help sober you up.

• He talked you through your tears and pain, all while making sure you were well taken care of.

• Before you realized it, it was 5pm and Aaron was still sitting beside you on your couch.

• For the last few minutes, you'd been watching some old kids shows in silence; it was just something that helped you calm down and he was actually enjoying the time he'd spent with you.

• You got up from the dent in the couch that you'd been wallowing in and stretched.

• There was no way you were going to cook tonight, so you ordered a couple of large pizzas to be delivered.

• Both of you had eaten pizza and you chattered about some whacked out theory about the show Rugrats, while Aaron just listened and made sure you were distracted from whatever turmoil that your brothers villainy had caused.

• When the day was over and Aaron was ready to return home to his son, he gave you a card for a support group that he thought would benefit you.

• And that's where you expected it to end; after all this was just him doing his job, right?

• Wrong.

• He showed a kind of bashfulness that you absolutely did not expect from the stern man, and he asked if he could take you out on an actual date.

• Obviously, you said yes.

• Your first date wasn't ideal, but, both of you enjoyed your time together.

DEREK MORGAN

• Derek went to a club with Penelope and Emily when he first met you and right off the bat he was into you.

• You started talking and instantly clicked — unfortunately, he couldn't spend the night with you due to being called into work, but you set up a date to see each other again, then you exchanged numbers and he disappeared.

• The first few times you'd try to go out on a proper date with him, he'd keep getting called into work beforehand, so he'd have to take a rain check.

• Finally, he was actually free for a night and you invited him over to your apartment for dinner and some drinks.

• He arrived only seconds after the clock struck 5PM and god you were awestruck as soon as you seen him.

• This man made you question how clothes could be tight and yet, still seem loose.

• Happily, you let him into your home which had a warm glow and atmosphere; your lights were dimmed, soft music was playing throughout the house, the delicious scent of food being cooked was in the air — it was amazing.

• You made an array of drinks for the both of you and conversed about anything either of you could think of.

• Derek charmed his way into dancing around the room with you before you'd have to take the food you were cooking off the heat.

• Dinner was about the same; the male joked and chattered, throwing out compliments here and there.

• The night seemed perfect, you even got in a couple of smooches — and then his phone started ringing.

• You understood when he had to leave, which was around 10PM.

• He promised he'd make it up to you and take a full vacation day for you, so you could have a date night at his place next.

JENNIFER JAREAU

• Originally, the plan was for you to be Henry's caretaker while JJ was working — though it deviated sometime after about 6 months of being employed by her.

• You had major crush on your boss, and sometimes, it felt like she was in the same situation; though you doubted it.

• One night before tucking Henry in for bed, he said he wanted to tell you a secret.

• “Mommy really likes you. . .”

• That simple phrase made butterflies become trapped in your stomach, but you tried to push them down.

• “I really like her too. . .”

• It felt good to actually say it.

• Now, confiding in a little kid about you liking their mom wasn't too wise; the secret wasn't kept for more than a week.

• Jennifer approached you one night after she'd came home from work — Henry was already asleep in his room and you were doing coursework for college when she asked to have dinner with you tomorrow night.

• You didn't even hesitate to accept her invitation.

• The place wasn't very fancy, but that was 100% fine with you.

• It was a small 24 hour diner outside of town that had the best breakfast that you'd ever eaten.

• The two of you chattered about how Henry's fine motor skills and how his speech was developing, and how your classes were going.

• The night was perfect, she even went out of her way to drive yourself to your place — even though she insisted you stay at hers because it was rather late, but you needed to get some housework done, and chose to go home.

• That night, you spent nearly an hour thinking about the date before passing out.

SPENCER REID

• The good doctor met you during a case not too far off from Quantico.

• You were doing an hands on internship with a medical examiner and Dr. Reid happened to come by to get autopsy details and the toxicology report from a recent string of homicides that the BAU was investigating.

• Almost instantly, he struck something in you and you couldn't keep your eyes off of him.

• The way he spoke so factually on the unusual way that this ‘unsub’ tortured his victims before they succumbed to death, just made you more interested in the supposed genius.

• Sooner than you'd hoped, the BAU wrapped their case up and you were in fear that the chance to actually talk to Spencer was about to slip between your fingers.

• That was until Spencer and Agent Rossi came in one last time.

• You swallowed the nervousness bubbling inside of you and quickly asked him for his number.

• To your surprise, he actually gave it to you rather quickly.

• He was just as entranced with you as you were with him.

• One night, you'd gotten off early and decided to invite Spencer over to your apartment.

• You'd fixed up a simple meal for the two of you and make sure your apartment was in tip-top shape.

• When he arrived, you were in awe. He was dressed up in a suit, which wasn't far from what you'd first seen him in, however he was glowing.

• He looked like he'd slept pretty well, he was donning a soft smile and holding out a small bouquet made up of red carnations, yellow jasmine flowers, and multicolored hibiscuses. They complimented each other well.

• You, of course, gracefully accepted the bouquet and welcomed him into your home, situating the flowers in an elegant vase at the table.

• You and Spencer spent the night talking about anything and everything; you found his knowledge fascinating and beautiful.

• The date ended in you both passing out intertwined in each others limbs on the couch while a cheesy rom-com played out on the TV.

EMILY PRENTISS

• Emily first seen you while you were doing an interview with Hotchner to join the BAU.

• The agents of the BAU sat, staring into the office as you smiled sweetly and spoke to Hotchner about your experience in criminal psychology and communications, and thus far he seemed intrigued.

• It was almost instantly that Emily was enamored; you were just too beautiful for her to ignore.

• About half an hour later, you and Hotch exited the office, he shook your hand with a look of accomplishment on both of your faces.

• With a loud clearing of his throat, any remaining agents or passerbys turned their attention to the head agent as he prepared to make an announcement.

• Applause erupted as your eyes scanned the room, landing on the black haired beauty that was SSA Emily Prentiss.

• “Will you please welcome our new agent, Y/n L/n, to the BAU.”

• You situated your new desk with the few belongings that you'd had in your bag.

• The work day was coming to an end while other agents put away any remaining paperwork that they'd been working on and out of the corner of your eye, you spotted the pretty agent from before approaching your desk.

• Obviously, you agreed and headed out with the rest of the group.

• “Hey, a few of us were going out to get drinks, and we were wondering if you'd like to come with us to celebrate you joining the BAU?”

• Agent Hotchner bought the first round of celebration drinks and made a toast in honor of their new agent.

• Not too long after the toast, Emily sat beside you and formally introduced herself before making conversation.

• The two of you spent the night learning about each other and talking about what your job may entail.

• After a while, and about 4 drinks, you were taking a cab with her back to her place.

• She insisted that you spend the night at her place and meet her cat, Sergio, and you agreed.

• The rest of the night was fuzzy, but you woke up in a bed that was unfamiliar with a cat laying on top of you and the smell of pancakes and bacon filling your nostrils.

• You carefully moved, the cat hopping off once he'd realized you woke up.

• Gently, you walked to the kitchen to find Emily cooking breakfest looking lively as ever.

• “Good morning, hotcakes.”

• With a nervous chuckle, you awkwardly asked if anything had happened between the two of you the night prior.

• “Oh heavens, no; we were both much too drunk. I slept on the couch.”

• A huge sigh of relief came from you as Emily sat a plate of food in front of you along with a couple asprin and a coffee.

• You thanked her for her kindness, but she waved it off with a pink tint rising to her cheeks and ears.

• You ate breakfast and headed to work together.

• Once you entered the BAU, SSA Morgan began wiggling his brows at Emily, earning a playful punch to the shoulder.

PENELOPE GARCIA

• You first met the effervescent Penelope Garcia when SSA Derek Morgan came into the ER with some minor injuries due to their latest mission; she, of course, was freaking out.

• “What if he's really hurt? Or — or —”

• She enveloped you in a hug, thanking you for your effort to calm her down, and you hugged her back with a comforting squeeze.

• “Don't worry, Miss Garcia, he only has some scrapes and bruises, he'll be back to normal before you know it. We're just making sure that he gets the proper care he needs before he can return to work.”

• After guiding her through some simple breathing exercises, her heart rate began to lower.

• Only moments passed before Derek came out with a smile and they had a small chat, which included Penelope scolding him for being reckless.

• Savannah came and picked Derek up, leaving you and Penelope alone in the empty waiting room.

• “Hey, so Miss nurse - sorry I didn't get your name. . .”

• “Well, Miss L/n, would you perhaps like to go out and get a drink with me, sometime?”

• “It's Y/n, Y/n L/n.”

• And with that, you got her number and met her the next week at a high end restaurant.

• You brought her some assorted roses and made sure the meal was paid for, although she tried to pay you, but you told her not to worry about it.

• You spent the night listening her speak about the things she was passionate about.

• Unfortunately, about half an hour passed by before you'd gotten called back in by the hospital.

• You drove Penelope to her apartment and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

• “I really enjoyed tonight, Penelope.”

• “I did too, Y/n, but next time I'm paying the bill.”

• She giggled and gave you a quick smooch before shuffling into the apartment, leaving you flushed as you headed back to work.

• “So there's going to be a next time?”

tags :: @wordvomit-foryourmind

[bcdaily]

I think you talked about Emily Henry previously and mentioned you didn't like her. I thought Beach Read and People We Meet on Vacation were cute/ok. I liked Book Lovers a lot more and thought it was definitely her best so far. But I know not everyone is liking the book. Have you read anything recently that was a 10?

So I tried to be a woman of my word and actually cracked open Book Lovers last night. I only got through two chapters, but I can say my immediate problem I had with Beach Read—that she’s an info dumper with no deft hand at setting a scene or introducing her book/characters—wasn’t as bad here. Not sure I loved the vaguely condescending sounding rant about Hallmark-esque tropes she started off with, but not enough to put the book down. So we’ll see how it does. I am willing to give her another chance!!!

Honestly, it’s been ages since I read something REALLY good. I did just finally finish The No-Show by Beth O’Leary, and I did really enjoy it, but it’s not really a rom com. For a genre that they are over saturating like whoah, it’s a whole bunch of mediocre out there. 😬

[lightbeyondeden]

Beachouse

Beachouse

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

a/n: i like to imagine this one with like,, season 4 spence cause I think that just the right amount of innocent yet horny for this oneshot but it's up to you. Also i used a bunch of dialogue prompts from this list :) see if you can spot them! 

Wordcount: 2.2k

Warnings: kinda smut!! spencer being horny, alcohol, cursing, makeout sesh with heavy petting lol

masterlist

She was trying to kill him.

 As a man of logic and reasoning, Spencer had concluded the only probable reason his very attractive coworker would insist on parading around the small cabin the team had rented for the weekend in those tiny white cotton shorts was that she wanted to kill him. 

Spencer had always found her attractive. He would’ve had to have been blind not to, and even if he was he still would’ve fallen for the sound of her laugh or the way she left the smell of lavender wherever she sat on the jet or how she was always first to fall asleep after long days spent working cases. 

So maybe he had fallen in love with her - even if he hadn’t quite admitted it to himself yet. Love, however, was not quite what he felt as he watched Y/n walk lazily into the kitchen on that Saturday morning.

Spencer had been sitting on one of the barstools that lined the kitchen counter and sipping on a very sugary cup of coffee. He was passively listening to both the birds chirping outside the oversized cabin window and JJ’s latest story about Henry. He had felt nothing but peace, until she walked in. 

She was wearing a baby blue tank top (with no bra, not that Spencer was looking of course it’s just that as she was walking in and his eyes just happened to graze over her hard nip-, nevermind.) and those white shorts. The outfit was probably perfect for sleeping in the cabin that - even now in the early hours of the morning - remained hot and humid. It was not, however, perfect for just chatting with Spencer, he already felt an uncomfortable stirring in his pants.  

“Hey guys.” She smiled, voice still soft with sleep.

“Hi Y/n, you sleep well?” JJ said without missing a beat, “Lemme get you some coffee.”

JJ got out of her seat and set to work making a new cup of coffee from the keurig that sat on the counter behind her.

“Thank you Jayge, you’re my favourite.” Y/n laughed. 

Spencer watched with intent as she brushed her hand through her bedhead and took her own seat at the counter across from him. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Y/n said as she locked eyes with Spencer. 

Crap, he hadn’t meant to stare. Honestly though, he couldn’t help it. So much of her body was on display and though Spencer considered himself to be a respectful man, he had dreamt of that body more times than he cared to admit and seeing it like this was driving him crazy. 

“Like what?” He replied, hoping that playing dumb would get him out of this.

She eyed him suspiciously, however Spencer was saved from the incoming interrogation by JJ returning, coffee in hand. 

Y/n gratefully took the cup in her hands and sipped in gently. Try as he might, Spencer couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances at her over and over again as conversation between the three resumed. 

Slowly the rest of the team began to wake up and wander into the kitchen. Conversation was playful and light, this vacation being exactly the break they needed from their stressful work lives. It may have only been four days, but any amount of time that they didn’t have to spend talking about all the horrible things they saw each day was time they thoroughly enjoyed. 

“So I was thinking we could take a trip down to that hidden beach the airBNB people were telling us about. It would be fun to all go swimming together!” Penelope had said, big doe eyes daring someone to try telling her no.

So that's why a team of thirty to fifty somethings were all walking down a wooden boardwalk together, arms filled with floaties and towing a wagon full of snacks (wagon courtesy of JJ). Spencer just happened to look over at Y/n at the exact moment the beach came into view, and he couldn’t have been more grateful for that because getting to see the way her face lit up when she saw the lake made his day.

“There's a doc!?” She squealed, “Morgan! I’ll race you to it.” 

And just like that  - the two of them took off, splashing into the water and yelling playful challenges and insults at each other, Emily and Penelope close behind. Spencer just chuckled as he settled down into the sand with a pile of books beside them. 

Truth be told he didn’t get much reading done. He chatted with JJ and Rossi, he binged on candy and chips, and most often, spent the day ogling Y/n. He just couldn’t understand how she managed to look so perfect even after Derek had thrown her off the floating wooden dock for what must’ve been the thirtieth time that day. 

When she finally came marching up the beach, soaking wet and out of breath, Spencer wondered if there was ever a situation where she could look bad. Covered in goosebumps - though the sun was sweltering hot - she tightly wrapped a towel around herself and plopped down in the sand between JJ and Rossi. 

“Hey SP!” He chuckled at her nickname for him “Can you pass that bag of chips over here please?”

The rest of the day was spent soaking in the sun. It was full of jokes and swimming and Y/n’s head on Spencer's shoulder. He watched her and JJ pass a volleyball back and forth, he saw the team smile more in one afternoon than he had in the last month. They finally decided to pack it in the sun was nothing more than a sliver on the horizon. 

They walked home to the dulcet sounds of crickets and Penelope's voice retelling all the best stories of the day. Spencer's mind moved much faster than his feet did, but all thoughts were halted when he felt a cold set of fingers grab onto his hand. That was one of his favourite things about her - the fact that she loved physical touch. Of course, at first he had a strong aversion to her love of hugs, hand holding, and cuddles, but as they grew into a close knit partnership he found himself longing for a hug from her after hard cases or for her hand to hold when he's walking to the bookstore. 

When the team got back to their beach house it was quiet for a moment, as everyone was worn down from all their hours in the sun, their skin kissed with its warmth even though it had set more than an hour ago. Emily, ever a shit disturber, broke the serenity the walk home had created the second she broke out the bottles of wine from the fridge.

Y/n’s had slipped out of Spencers as she and the girls got to work pouring and drinking as many glasses as they could get out of each bottle.

“Movie time!” Penelope declared, plopping herself down on the couch between Derek and Rossi. 

Everyone else settled in, and Penelope flicked through Netflix - occasionally announcing a title to the group to gauge a reaction and giving her own opinions on each. She finally landed on ‘Clueless’, a film Spencer had never heard of - despite Penelope and JJ insisting it was a classic. 

Everyone was tired, you could tell that without being a profiler, but the group was so set on finishing their day together that everyone sat and watched the movie with heavy eyelids. Y/n was hit by sleep like a truck, and Spencer could tell. Her head fell on Spencer's shoulder and he let his own arms rest around her. It was fine, they were best friends. Best friends can cuddle on late nights - it doesn't mean anything to either of them anyway. 

Except it did. It meant everything to Spencer. When he grabbed her hand it wasn’t even really a conscious decision, he just reached out and gripped onto her - he barely even noticed that he did it. 

Y/n noticed. 

Her eyes shot up to meet his own. 

“What was that for?” Her tone was joking but there was a realness behind the whispered question. 

“I’m holding your hand because the movie is scary, alright?  It’s a… Terrifying… Rom-com… ” Spencer defended. 

They both looked up at the screen to see a scene of a blonde girl driving a jeep down the middle of the road and burst into laughter, gaining some looks and laughs from the other people in the room. 

“I mean, you’re right. Unsafe driving practices sure are terrifying. Why do you think Hotch doesn’t let me drive anymore?”

“Because it's a hazard to everyone in the car and the berau called you ‘a hazard to the safety of yourself and your team’ when you drive?” Spencer quipped back, earning more laughter from the rest of the group.

Y/n just shook her head and laughed before dropping back down onto Spencer’s shoulder. However Spencer went the other direction, releasing his grasp on Y/n’s hand and setting it at his side instead.

“Why’d you let go of me?” She whispered into his ear. 

Spencer allowed himself to let out some of what he had been feeling for as long as he had known her. He looked her dead in the eyes and and tried to communicate all of his feelings telepathically - but all he said was;

“I was scared...”

She looked at him and Spencer suddenly changed his mind about the whole telepathy thing, suddenly praying she can’t see the longing in his eyes.

“Come with me.”

So they got up, said a very rushed goodnight to their friends, and took off towards Y/n’s bedroom. When she opens the door Spencer is hit by a wall of the vanilla perfume she uses. If it was anyone else, he would have found it overwhelming, but because it was her it was more like something intoxicating. 

She sat him down on the bed and took a spot beside him. Her eyes looked up and met his honey brown ones, and in hindsight Spencer swore he could pick that as the exact moment his heart rate picked up. 

“So are you gonna tell me what’s been going on with you? Why you’ve been acting so strange?” She was still whispering even though the group was well out of earshot. 

He didn’t respond, his head was fuzzy and he was just trying his best to put together a coherent thought.

“I’m your friend SP!” She laughed, trying again “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“Sometimes I want to makeout with you, is that a friend thing to do?” 

Spencer's words hung in the air and he so badly wished he could take them back. Why would he jeopardize the relationship he had with her? For what? Some inane fantasy he had where they were together? The silence made the air crushingly heavy, and Spencer got up to leave but was stopped by her gripping his arm. 

She stood up and cupped her hand on his face, and it felt like they stood there like that for an hour. Spencer so desperately wanted to close the gap between them but the paralyzing fear that he was badly misreading her gesture stopped him. 

But then she did. She pushed her lips against his and Spencer immediately melted into her. Soft fingertips on his cheeks turned into hands intertwined in his curls, his own hands finding their rightful spot on her hips. 

They tangled together, the room filled with the sound of their desperate breaths. In an uncharacteristic burst of confidence Spencer ran a hand under her top and rested it on the small of her back. That was all the encouragement Y/n needed to clamber into his lap, never even breaking their kiss. 

“Wait-” Spencer pulled back, breathless, “What does this mean? What are we doing?”

“I love you. It took me way too long to realize it but I just want to spend all my time with you, that's how I know. I love you.” Y/n whispered into his neck, still perched gently on top of him. 

Spencer laughed a little at the absurdity of this moment. Girls like Y/n don’t love guys like Spencer - he almost wouldn’t believe it if it was any other girl. But it wasn’t any other girl, he trusted Y/n with his life - he knew she meant it.

“I love you too. I always have.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss her again.

~

Click.

Spencer jolted awake to the sound of Penelope’s cell phone camera going off. He moved to rub his eyes but found that his right arm was trapped under a shirtless Y/n. 

Now he understood why Penelope was taking pictures. 

“I got asked to check on you two - you know, see if you were awake.” Penelope was obviously trying very hard to hold back her excitement. “However it seems like I am interrupting something. So I will leave you lovebirds to it.” 

She turned and sauntered out the door, but Spencer heard her laughing to herself in the hallway and he knew that in a few minutes the whole world would know exactly what Penelope thought about the compromising position she had just found them in. 

The world could wait though, Spencer decided. Y/n had stayed peacefully asleep somehow, and he could feel the heat of her bare skin all over him. 

So he pulled her closer, for that one more minute of bliss. One more minute of happiness.

 One more minute of Y/n.

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

Get to Know Me

Tagged by the lovely @seancekitsch. Thanks Bonnie :)

Relationship Status: Don’t have one, not really looking at the moment Favorite Colors: Purple, Teal, and grey Favorite Food: lox and cream cheese on an everything bagel (I liked them before I moved to NYC, but now...I would live off nothing but if that was an option) Song stuck in my head: 🎵“I am not a person, I’m three possums in a coat”🎵 Although the song I’ve been listening to on repeat all day is “Writing Again” by Seanan McGuire Last thing you googled: “All Nancy Drew Books in order” because I’m reshelving my books and being particular about it Time: 12:27am Dream Trip: Romania. It’s so beautiful, and was one of the few places I really had no option to go to when I was studying abroad Last thing you read: Book Lovers by Emily Henry. Or I guess if we’re being technical, my mail that’s been sitting on my desk for two days.  Last book you enjoyed reading: that is the same question. I am trying to be better about giving up when I don’t enjoy a book, or even when I do but I’m not in the right mood. But I definitely really enjoyed Book Lovers. It’s not groundbreakingly original, but a book doesn’t need to be. And it’s really a fun, self-aware rom-com. Also a couple of times I felt a liiittle bit called out, which is always good in a book (in my opinion). Last book you hated reading: Other than textbooks, which it has been a year+ since I’ve had to read (yay!) I can’t think of one right now.  Favorite thing to cook/bake: lemon bars! Or pancakes even though they never come out pretty. I mean, I like cooking in general (especially chopping vegetables, I find the action and sound both very soothing, let’s not look to far into it) but those top tier Favorite craft to do in your free time: cross-stitch probably. But I’m not a super crafty person, and am very out of practice. Most niche dislike: I don’t think I have one that’s niche. I have many dislikes but they’re all probably pretty common ones.  Opinion on Circuses: Indifferent? I mean, I love a circus or a carnival as a fiction setting because you can do so much with them, and (according to some people strangely) find “circus music” in the right context romantic. But I have no strong feelings about actual circuses one way or the other. Do you have any sense of direction: No. I mean, I’d like to think I have one of narrative direction, but the jury is out. And I could get lost trying to find my way out of a paper bag. Tell us about your D&D Character: I have so many though. Even if I narrow it down to active campaigns that leaves 2...Valsolis and Wren. I talk about V most in my D&D posts (she’s a tiefling bard with roguish tendencies...as in she’s a grifter and con artist, and can pick a lock when she needs to. She is currently being hunted by a cult and they assassinated her merchant husband, which is a tragedy because she was just starting to like him and consider not killing him for his money). But Wren is a new one, she’s rather fun. She’s a halfling ranger with absolutely no charisma, and a squirrel for an animal companion. Technically she lives in town, but I’m pretty sure its in the way a feral cat lives under your porch. I want to cross-class barbarian but haven’t had a chance. 

Tagging, if you want to play: @redlippedladyofrohan @the-winter-witcher @short-and-angry @forenschik @exlibrisfangirl​

[notebookmusical]

hello love!!!

i know i could just send this in a message, but i think asks are much more romantic <3

i have a friend from out of province visiting, and we’ve visited a few bookstores!! i was able to find my dark vanessa, atonement, and the haunting of hill house all second hand!!! my dark vanessa is one of my favourite reads of the year, so i’m glad i was able to find it, and the others are on my tbr!!! i was also able to get the roughest draft (by emily wibberly), the seven year slip, and a thousand ships (a feminist greek-classic spin, helen of troy i believe? something like that)

i know on goodreads the roughest draft has mid reviews, but it was second hand and i recognized the author as i know she’s adored (im planning on reading do i know you soon, before the end of the year for sure - i didn’t like what’s not to love but i’m gonna go in with a fresh mind)

i’m also excited to read the seven year slip, everyone seems to be loving it! i think i’ll add it onto my new septembers readathon challenge - idk if i’m truly in the mood for a rom com at the moment, i just finished business or pleasure and i found it quite … mid. not horrendous, but it didn’t have the same spark i found with rls other books.

how is your annotation for les mis going? i just finished my reread and goodness the brick can be a drudge but isn’t it SO good???? the themes the motifs the characters the symbolism - WHAT FUCKING BRAINROT AMIRIGHT??

i’ve read a few biographies this year (the only non fiction i’ll entertain lol), and i’ve thoroughly enjoyed them all!!! i most recently read crying in h mart by michelle zauner, and i didn’t know at first that she was japanese breakfast!! the book is so raw and intimate, and i listened to a couple of her albums and i really enjoyed her <3

as you know, i just started painted devils and vanja and emeric are everrryythinngg to me i truly need to buy the books - can’t wait to make an order from indigo i’m thinking of preordering emily henry’s new book 👀

anyways i think that’s all i wanted to share haha, hope your week is going well 🥰🥰 i’m hoping of changing my theme soon (have been wanting to for a while) but i never know what to change it to, the struggle of a girlblogger i swear

hi friend!!! i always love getting messages from you, whether they're an ask or a message! 🤍 i haven't done a nice bookstore visit in a while (i went in briefly to grab seven year slip for annotating/traveling book club a bit ago, but aside from that i haven't gone to a bookstore in a while just to meander and pick up books (not that i need to, i've got ... dozens of unread books just sitting here waiting for me to read them). i didn't loveeeee the roughest draft but i really, REALLY loved do i know you? — i went in thinking that the roughest draft would fill my emily henry void, though, so i had higher expectations for it. i also didn't love what's not to love, but i love never vacation with your ex, always never yours, if i'm still being honest, and with and without you! and i'm really excited for the breakup tour (i think it comes out in 2024?).

i really really loved the seven year slip; it's by no means perfect, but i really resonated with how it talks about grief and other things! it just spoke to me! i'm including the trigger warnings for it under the cut, just in case 🤍 i think it's not as "comedic" but it is a romance and i would wait till you're in the right mindset for it. i also found business or pleasure to be kind of mid; i think my ranking of RLS' adult books are ex talk → business or pleasure / weather girl, and then YA is we can't keep meeting like this → t3 → see you yesterday (haven't read her non rom coms)! it's just kind of been a dull year for me in terms of reading (but especially with romance).

i am ... behind on my les mis annotations! i've been doing a volume a month, so i should be done with marius this month but i haven't even picked it up yet! hopefully i'll feel better enough to tackle it this weekend / next week 🤍 but YES it's just sooooo !! we're coming up to my favorite bits of the book so i'm super excited!

i really liked crying in h mart! and was bummed to miss japanese breakfast on tour earlier this year but just had too much going on! and i am SO SO glad you're liking little thieves + painted devils! just such a good series; i need the third book immediately. i preordered emily henry's new book, and i think the only other preorder i have right now is the new beth o'leary which comes out next week (!!!!!!)

excited to see your new theme! hope you're doing well 🤍 i've been toying with changing my url to a seven year slip one, but also think i'll change it for 1989 so i think i'll hold off for a bit 🤍

[tomiokai]

Reality||Spencer Reid||Part Two Of Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts

Masterlist

Part One.

{not my gif}

A/N: Like 4 people wanted a part two lol but that’s fine. So here is the long-awaited part two to Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts. I’m currently working on another fic so I haven’t been writing anything else, that’s why I haven’t been posting any fics. Anyways, enjoy!! Also, I forgot that JJ’s son is also called Henry, that just completely slipped my mind when I first wrote “Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts. So please excuse that. Also you have no idea how much I wanted to make the ending depressing but I decided against it.

Summary: After Y/n’s and Spencer’s explosive fight on their breakup anniversary, Y/n shuts herself out from everyone, even Henry. One day the girls had enough of Y/n’s behavior and decided to take things into their own hands. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: Angst

Warnings:Angst. Swearing. Drinking.

Word Count: 4.2k

-

Ice cream, sweatpants, and vodka, is one hell of a trio if you asked me. It has officially been three weeks since Spencer talked to me. He hasn’t called me yet like he said he would. Honest to god I had no idea what his problem was. 

Ever since that night I barely got off the couch only when I wanted vodka or plain old vanilla ice cream and some food deliveries. I’ve been in the exact same pair of sweatpants for three weeks and the last one of Spencer’s hoodies he had lent me when we were dating, he never asked for it back and I never planned on giving it back. The smell of his cologne had detached itself from the hoodie a long time ago but I could care less. I probably stank honestly. I think I got up twice to shower??!! Maybe I’m not really sure. All I knew was that I looked like garbage. 

Emily and the girl’s had tried hauling me out the doors to a nightclub to cheer me up but it didn’t work, I stuck to the couch like a potato. The morning of the fight I fell into a state that I honestly have no idea what it would be called, depression maybe, I sulked on the couch under a blanket for hours. Henry woke up when the birds started to chirp and crawled under the blanket with me, he had his small arms around one of my arms. Every time he saw a tear run down my cheek he would take his small hand and wipe away the tear. When I heard Henry’s tummy grumble Henry got out from under my blanket and walked off towards the kitchen. I had taken a peak from under the blanket and saw that he was in the pantry grabbing Oreo's. He brought me a few and my heart broke, I was supposed to be taking care of him not the other way around, but my body hurt so bad I couldn’t bring myself up to do anything. I was a horrible mother. That night he and I ate ice cream and goldfish crackers for lunch and dinner. It wasn’t till three days later when JJ came over to check on me when she discovered Henry eating leftover brownies from a few nights ago and me under my blanket staring at my phone waiting for Spencer’s phone call. JJ had tried to talk to me but not a single movement left my body. When she saw that it was no use talking to me she told me she was going to take Henry with her until I was better. I wasn’t offended by it and I didn’t complain, I trust JJ with Henry at the moment more than myself. 

After Henry left that’s when I got off the coach walked out of my apartment looking like hell and went to the nearest liquor store and stocked up on vodka. Ever since then vodka and I have been best friends. 

Throughout the week everyone except Spencer has come by trying to talk to me or comfort me. I locked the door and refused to look or talk to any of them. On the sixth day, Garcia started bringing me breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I still wouldn’t open my door though, so she simply left the food at my door and I would wait a few minutes when I’m sure she was gone, I would quickly grab the food and close myself in again. If she hadn't brought me food my whole diet would have been crap like ice cream, goldfish crackers, and some random shit I can find from the pantry. 

Currently, I am sitting up (surprisingly) on the couch watching some stupid rom-com about this dumb couple who are madly in love with each other, waiting for my food delivery from Penelope. Truly I felt selfish for making Garcia bring me food every day and JJ taking care of Henry for me. After I get over this, I was determined to make it up to everyone who tried to help me during my dark time. 

This wasn’t me. I’m not like this but Spencer of all people has this dumb power over me. Fuck my heart and it’s feelings. 

I sat at the couch staring dumbly at my tv as the stupid couple slow danced in a meadow with fireflies surrounding them. 

“Disgusting.” I sneered throwing a goldfish cracker at the screen. 

Before I could complain more about the tv show, suddenly my doorbell rang and my ears immediately perked up! FOOD! I was starving. I made sure to wait a few minutes before I stood up and ran over to the door and swung it open. I was STARVING. 

Before I could register what was happening I was pronounced on. I blinked in shock as I finally saw my attackers face. 

“Emily what are you doing here!” I asked in utter confusion. I looked around and saw that JJ and Penelope also walk in through the door. 

“Guys what’s going on,” I panicked. “Is Henry okay??” 

“Henry’s A-OKAY,” Emily said getting off of me and hauling me up. “But you sweetheart is not okay.” 

“Guy’s I’m completely fine,” I reassured. 

“No you are not sweetie, you look like hell and your house is something else,” Garcia responded already picking stuff off my floor. 

“You don’t need to do this, you guys already did so much for me.” I breathed out. 

“Honestly Y/n you need all the help you can get, you have been sitting on that couch for three weeks crying over Spencer,” Penelope stated. 

“Spencer has been getting hell by the whole team recently.” Emily chimed in. 

“Mostly from Rossi,” JJ added. 

“Oh?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yep. Now let’s get you a warm bath.” Emily responded, as she started hauling me to my bathroom. Emily sat me down on the toilet seat as she leaned over the bathtub filling it with warm water. 

“What’s JJ and Penelope doing?” I asked as Emily started pulling my hoodie over my head.

“They’re helping you clean up your dump of a house,” Emily sang back standing me up. “Now take a nice long bath and when your finally clean we are going to go see Henry.”

I nodded back to her reassuring her I’ll get cleaned up. She left making sure to keep the door open a smidge. I stripped the rest of my clothes and dipped one foot into the nice warm water. I slowly let down my foot into the water, then the other. I bent down and sat in the tub making sure I didn't spill any of the water out. The warm water surrounds me as relief and pleasure washed over me. The warm water felt reassuring to me keeping me safe from anything that could harm me. 

I slid down the tub and submerged the back half of my head into the water not caring if the water had gotten into my ear. It felt like I was in the sky, it was peaceful and nobody could disturb it. But I spoke too soon. 

Emily burst into the bathroom, might I add very loudly. “Y/n it’s time to wash your hair and scrub your body not lay down in the tub and look dead,” Emily said bullying me into a sitting position. 

I groaned as my head lost contact with the lavishing warm water. “Fine” I puffed out. 

Emily reached to my bathroom counter and grabbed my coconut shampoo, she squeezed a large amount onto her hand and gently lathered it into crusty hair. 

“You know we found seven empty bottles of vodka in your cabinet alone. Did you drink all that yourself?” Emily asked as her finger ran threw my hair. 

I nodded my head staring straight ahead at nothing. 

“Okay, stand up and I want you to wash your body and rinse off in the shower and let the bathtub water out,” Emily said, rinsing her soapy hands in the water. She got up from her squatting position and left again. 

I slowly stood up, slid the shower curtain shut and started the shower. I rinsed my hair out and went on to scrubbing my body with vanilla body wash. For the first time in two weeks, I was finally actually clean. 

I turned off the facet off once I was rinsed off and got out of the shower. A nice clean towel lay perfectly folded by the sink waiting for me, I needed to thank Emily, JJ, and Penelope big time later. 

I opened the door and instantly noticed my apartment was clean and spotless. “Wow, you guys really didn’t need to do this,” I said amazed.  

“Don’t worry about it, now shoo, go get dressed,” JJ called to me. 

I felt really bad that they were doing everything for me but I guess they wanted to do it considering they ambushed me! I walked into my bedroom and swung open the closet door. If I were to go see Henry today I was probably going to be seeing a whole bunch of other people so I decided on a pair of black jeans and a lavender button up long sleeve, that I decided to tuck in and black boots with a 4-inch heel.

I walked over to the small mirror by the door to the bedroom and stared at myself. Wow, I looked cleaned up. 

I casually walked out of my room to find that my whole entire apartment was cleaned up and everything was in place. 

“Wow, you guys really know how to get cleaned up, how could I ever repay you guys,” I asked as they walked over to me.

“You can repay us when you change into a different outfit,” Penelope said, linking her arms to me dragging me back into my room. 

“Wait, why?” I asked as Penelope sat me down. 

They didn’t answer but instead, JJ went straight to my closet tearing it apart, while Emily and Penelope went through my drawers.

“We’re going to show Spencer exactly what he has missed out on.” Penelope sang. 

I watched as JJ flipped through my closet throwing things that she deemed “ugly” onto a growing pile on my bed.

“Y/n don’t you have any cute underwear?” Emily asked, holding up a very plain black pantie. 

“Hey! Leave my underwear out of this!” I yelled jumping up and snatching my underwear back and shoved it back into the drawer. “And plus he’s not even going to see me half naked.”

“Yeah, but what if you meet someone and you never know,” JJ responded, pulling out one of my dresses that I haven’t seen in a long time. 

It was a gorgeous baby pink dress that went down to right above the ankles. The silk v-neck dress had a beautiful seer covering over the dress and puffed out sleeves from the shoulders to the wrist, with a beautiful thick baby pink belt. 

“Oh my god! That’s the one! It’s so pretty!” Penelope squealed. 

“Don’t you think this is a little too much?” I asked, picking up the elegant dress.

“Of course not!” Emily resounded heading out the door. “Now get dressed again and we’ll take you to see Henry.” 

Penelope and JJ left right after Emily leaving me alone to get dressed. 

I turned the dress in my hand a few times before undressing again. I slid the dress over my head and looked myself up and down, I swapped the boots for some black heels and walked out of the room to regroup with the girls.

“Ohh! You look so beautiful!” Penelope gushed wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. 

“Thank you!” I laughed hugging her back. 

“Come on do a little twirl,” Emily said smiling. 

I let go Penelope and did a little twirl with my hands out.

“This is the dress! Spencer’s going to flip,” JJ said. 

“I hope he does or you did all this for nothing,” I spoke lightly. 

“Don’t say that, we did it for you mainly.” Penelope corrected. 

-

“Mommy!” Henry cried as soon as I went through the door of JJ’s house. 

“Hey, baby! I missed you so much” I said, picking up Henry in my arms.

“I missed you, mommy,” Henry said into my shoulder. 

“Me too baby.” I cried. “Did you have fun with aunty JJ and uncle Will?”

“Yes, I did!” Henry said joyfully. 

“How about I take you to go get some milkshakes? I asked looking at Henry.  

“Yeah!” He excitedly exclaimed. 

I turned around to face the girls with Henry still in my arms and said, “Thank you guys for everything, I promise I’ll somehow pay you back for all this.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Emily said with a wink.

“Oh and dinner party at Rossi’s at 5:30.” JJ reminded me. 

As we walked out of JJ’s and Will’s house I pulled out my phone and dialed Spencer’s number. Confidence filled me as I did it but the longer it took for Spencer to pick up the more anxious I got. In the fifth ring, Spencer picked up.

“What do you want.” He spoke. He didn’t sound very pleased but also very tired.

“If you want to meet your son at all, meet us at the 24-hour diner on third street.” I shot hanging up before he could decline or accept. 

I placed Henry in his baby seat and strapped him in. I got into the driver's seat and drove away to our destination.

-

When we walked through the doors to the diner the salty smell of burgers, fries and just fried food, in general, filled my nostrils. It reminded me of all the fun nights Spencer and I had here discussing everything and anything.

I looked around the diner looking for Spencer and there he was sitting in the corner, his back facing us. 

I took Henry’s little hand in mine and walked slowly towards Spencer. As we neared the table Spencer turned around and spotted us, he didn’t do or say anything only looked at me then at Henry. His eyes never left Henry as we walked the rest of the way. I slid into the booth first and Henry followed along right after.

I looked at Henry and followed his gaze to Spencer.

“Who that mommy?” Henry asked looking up to me. 

I looked down at him and said, “how about you ask that man sweetie,” pointing at Spencer.

“Who you!” Henry said joyously pointing his little finger at Spencer. 

“Hey, buddy! I’m Spencer.” Spencer’s demeanor changed completely. 

Wow, that guy sure knew how to change personalities real fast. 

“Hi Spwencer, I Henry,” Henry exclaimed. 

“Wow! I love your name. How old are you Henry?” Spencer asked, his eyes never leaving his. 

I looked down at Henry and he was fidgeting with his fingers trying to hold up two fingers, once he figured it out he held it up high and said, “I two years old.” 

“Wow buddy, you’re so big!” Spencer said, taking Henry’s hand in his. 

All throughout their little exchange, Spencer never looked at me once or even mentioned me. I guess he was only here for Henry. 

“Hey Henry what do you want from here?” Spencer asked Henry.

“I wan vanilla milkshake,” Henry said pointing at a girl a few booths down drinking a vanilla milkshake. 

“And you Y/n,” Spencer asked, finally turning to me. 

“I’ll just have a small fry,” I responded. 

Spencer stood up from where he sat and dusted off his suit and walked away towards the cashier to order. 

When he was finally talking to the cashier I quickly turned to Henry and spoke, “Hey Henry, what do you think about Spencer?” 

“He’s fun!” Henry laughed pointing at Spencer. I followed his finger and saw that Spencer was looking at Henry very intently waiting for the food. 

In my mind, I knew I couldn’t keep Henry all to myself and close Spencer out. After all, he was his child. 

“Here’s your milkshake!” Spencer exclaimed happily, setting down a tall glass full of vanilla milkshake with whipped cream, rainbow sprinkles and a blue and white straw.

Spencer slid over my small basket of fries and sat down again in his original spot. 

When I knew Henry wasn’t paying any more attention to us I looked to Spencer and said, “When are we going to tell him?” 

“Right now if you want,” Spencer responded dryly. 

“Then tell him,” I shot back. “Hey Henry, Spencer here has something to tell you.”

Henry’s attention instantly snapped to Spencer with glowing eyes and asked, “What!” excitedly. 

Spencer glared at me before turning his glare into a happy smile and responding, “I’m actually your daddy. Isn’t that cool?”

I watched Henry as his expression changed a whole bunch of times from happy to sad to confused. But ultimately it ended up being very very excited and happy.

“Really!” Henry asked excitedly.

“Yeah, buddy!” Spencer responded with a big smile on his face. 

Without a word, Henry got up from his seat and ran towards Spencer and crawled up to Spencer and wrapped him in a big hug. Spencer immediately responded, wrapping his arms around Henry's back. 

“Are you and mommy married?” Henry asked curiously letting go of Spencer and pointing at me then to him.

Spencer looked at me and I nodded at him signaling him to answer the question himself.

“No we’re not Henry,” Spencer reposed. 

Henry’s face fell but luckily Spencer saved it, “But mommy and daddy do like each other!” Spencer happily said.

“Yay!” Henry joyously yelled. 

Spencer and I looked at each other for a moment and I turned away right after tears threatening to spill. Spencer must have noticed. 

“How about I take you out and play for a day?” Spencer asked Henry. 

“Yeah!” Henry cheered. 

“Is that okay with you?” Spencer turned to me. 

I hesitatingly responded, “Y-yeah, sure.” I responded. 

Spencer stood up with Henry still in his arms and said, “Well we’ll see you at Rossi’s later. Say bye to mommy.” 

“Bye, mommy!” Henry said, blowing me a kiss.

I pretended to catch it and put it in my pocket and said, “Bye sweetie, have fun.” 

And with that Spencer and Henry left. Wow. Both my loved ones just left through that door. I felt a pang in my heart thinking about what-ifs. What if Henry liked Spencer better than me and left me alone with no one. Definitely not the best idea to overthink but that was exactly what was happening. 

The whole day my mind never left Henry and Spencer. Constantly wondering what they were doing. Where they having fun, were they happy, were they hurt, were they in danger? 

Every time I reached into my pocket to get out my phone and call, I stopped myself they probably didn’t want to get disturbed by me. Sharing Henry was hard for me. My mind wouldn’t let me rest at all. 

Eventually, I found a way to distract myself. I went to a nail salon and had a very pretty lady manicure my nails. I poured my heart out to her and she was there the whole time comforting me and reassuring me that everything will work out in the end. That’s what I tried to think.

-

I stood outside of Rossi’s house debating whether I should just ring the doorbell or run away like a coward. I decided against running away and rang the doorbell and stood back and waited. 

As soon as the door was opened by Spencer, Henry ran into my legs and hugged them!

“Daddy took me to a fair!” We had so much fun!” He exclaimed as I picked him up.

“Wow! Did he really?” I asked excitedly. 

“Yeah! He won me this bear!” Henry said holding up a brown stuffed bear wearing a striped shirt and a top hat.

“It looks so amazing!” I responded, putting Henry down. 

I looked over to Spencer and saw that he was proudly smiling at his son. 

“Hey Henry, how about you go find Jack and other Henry and go play with them?” Spencer asked, ruffling his hair.

“Yeah!” With that he took off to go find the others. 

After Henry was out of view Spencer started walking without another word I followed him into Rossi’s backyard. The October sun was slowly setting in the distance as I followed Spencer to the very back of the yard as far away from the house as possible.

When we finally stopped, Spencer didn’t turn around and face me and that pissed me off. “What?” I spat crossing my arms over my chest. 

Spencer spun around to face me and slowly drew out, “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant.”

“Because,” I said hesitantly, “be-because I don’t know.” 

“You didn’t give me a chance to be a father.” Spencer said, waving his hands around to his words. 

“I didn’t want to burden you!” I whispered looking down.

“With my own son?” He asked, shifting on his feet.

I looked up to face him  and said, “No! Me! I didn’t want to burden you with me.” 

“You could have at least told me!” Spencer said, his voice rising. 

“And what! What were you going to do! Take time off from your job! Make time? You never did that for me! So would you have done it for Henry?” I yelled tears stinging the corners of my eyes. 

Spencer didn’t say anything, he was lost of words. I knew I was right and I had hit a spot. 

“That’s what I thought.” I spat. 

“You don’t know that! Henry is my son!” He yelled, cornering me into the back fence. 

“I was your GIRLFRIEND!” I yelled. 

“AND?” He asked first slamming on the wood my back was pressed to. 

“IF YOU COULDN’T TREAT ME RIGHT, HOW COULD YOU HAVE TREATED YOUR OWN SON RIGHT.” I yelled furiously jabbing one finger into his chest. 

He grabbed my wrist and pried it away from his chest and breathed, “You didn’t even give me a chance.” quietly. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” I cried. 

“Just let me be a good father to Henry. I’ve proved myself worthy of taking care of him today.” Spencer said letting go of my wrist. 

“I know you're capable of taking care of him, I’m just afraid you’d leave him unexpectedly like what you did to me,” I whispered leaning my head back so that it touched the wood. 

“Y/n, I’ve changed for the better. When we started dating I wasn’t fully committed. I just had so much on my mind.” He said cupping my face in his hand and bringing it back up so that I was looking at him in the eyes. 

“I wish I could believe you,” I whispered, shutting my eyes, tears running down my cheeks. 

“You can. I’m committed to Henry. And I know you’re not over me. So just let’s give this a try” He stated carefully.

My eyes shot open and I raised an eyebrow at him. “How do you know,” I asked. 

“Because I was the reason you shut yourself out from the rest of the world. Word travels fast in the bullpen. I’m also a profiler, I read people. Ring any bells?” He answered wiping a few tears away. 

“Ugh I hate the fact you can read me so well,” I let out a shaky laugh. 

He laughed with me, our foreheads touching. “I miss us, you know?” I whispered quietly trying very hard to not ruin the peace. 

“I know, me too.” He whispered back. 

“We fight and we get into arguments. But that didn’t stop me from loving you.” I cried. 

“I know and I was an idiot for letting you go.” Spencer whispered. “I just needed space when I broke up with you.” He responded. 

“And what about that other girl?” I asked.

“Amanda?” She was just a one night thing.” Spencer answered. 

“Yeah okay whatever.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Let’s give us a try one more time. For Henry and for us.” Spencer pleaded. 

“Will I regret it?” I hesitantly asked. 

“You won’t. I promise.” Spencer whispered, kissing my cheek. 

I looked deep into Spencer’s eyes, searching to see if he was lying to me. “O-okay we can give it a try.”  I breathed out. 

“Can I kiss you now?” Spencer asked. 

“Mhm” I laughed, leaning into Spencer. 

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