#I have always been insecure whilst naked in front of another person

[inthedreamatorium1]

Colin telling a naked Penelope how beautiful she is did something to me. I felt that.

[soft-for-them]

you’re going to feel so warm when you meet him ♡ aos montgomery scott x plus size reader ♡ soulmate AU

anon: Hey could I please request a aos Scotty and preferably but not necessarily plus-size reader soulmate au? Thank you so much! Your writing is lovely! ♥️♥️

really like this one, not proof read.

You were always fucking cold and you blame your soulmate.

Everyone has soulmate, a forever friend, what ever you want to call it. 

Soulmates are your other half, your best friends and whilst they aren’t necessarily romantic they can lead to your future significate other.

Soulmates feel the feelings of their other half; some people feel it straight from birth some have ‘the moment’ when they’re older, when they finally connect with their soulmate’s feelings.

For so many years you felt nothing and it had begun to worry you. Well it worried you until you felt their feelings on your first week at the academy.

You remember it like it was yesterday. 

It was a sweltering day and you had felt good enough to roll up your uniform sleeves with out people judging your chubby upper arms. 

Your new friend Jim Kirk, a man who had attached himself on you on the first day, also had his sleeves rolled up.

‘It’s too hot.’ you complained as you pulled at the form fitting red uniform.

‘We’re too hot (y/n), turn a negative into a positive.’

You playfully slapped the taller man on the arm as you both entered the large classroom.

‘Shut up Jim you know the only hot one here is Nyota Uhura.’

For the rest of the class you were taking notes whilst talking to Jim but then you had felt a shiver run up your body.

At first you had though it was the air conditioning blowing on you too much but then you realised that there wasn’t any air conditioning in the classroom.  

‘This sucks, they haven’t fix the aircon yet.’ Jim said whilst fanning himself with one of you notebooks.

Another shiver shook your body, the polar opposite feeling of cold overwhelmed you.

That day the shivering got progressively worse, so bad in fact that you collapsed in class from violent shivers with the beginnings of hypothermia.

And from that day you have been wearing an oversized winter coat so you don’t die from being so cold.

You don’t feel your soulmate for most of your life but then all you can feel is coldness and the occasional hangover, how romantic.

.

.

‘God damn it Jim this is a serious situation.’ you shout to the tired looking man and his good doctor friend, Leonard McCoy.

It’s the aftermath of the Romulan attack and you had been running around in your puffer coat all day, now only realising that you feel warm.

You don’t feel cold any more.

Leonard had checked all you vitals and he has concluded that you’re at normal body temperature, unlike your below zero temperature you normally had.

‘(Y/n) take off that coat, I don’t want you overheating.’ Bones demands.

‘Nope. Never. It’s my comfort blanket.’  you snuggle more into the ripped and sweaty garment which had taken the full force of the Romulan attack.

At first when you had gotten the specially made coat you felt horrid. It made you already big body bigger and you though you looked like colourful marshmallow.

However, you have grown to love the puffy coat with all your heart and you are hesitant to remove it from your person, even if it’s falling off you.

‘What if their dead?’ you ask out loud, it’s the only scenario that is playing in your head but Jim has been telling you that it isn’t true.

‘He’s not dead (y/n)-’ Jim sits down next you for some reassurance. 

‘But I can’t feel them- wait him?’ your plea turns into confusion as you peer up to your dear friend and then to the more confused doctor. 

‘I think I’ve met him (y/n).’ Jim calmly says to you.

You look to and from Jim and Bones watching their reactions. 

Jim looks knackered but happy whilst it takes a moment for Bones to click on about who Jim is talking about.

‘Jim. Leonard.’ you stand anger bubbling up instead of happiness, ‘You better not be fucking with me.’

Tears bubble in your eyes. Too much has happened, you don’t want any false hope for who your soulmate might be, you need to be sure.

Jim nods at Bones who swiftly carries on with his job, leaving you two alone.

‘Jim. What’s going on.’ you are desperate, salty tears are now flowing down your face.

Jim stands up and hugs you. The hug is one of great comfort and friendship, like an older brother's hug.

‘You’re going to feel so warm when you meet him.’ he holds you away from the hug like a proud dad looking at his child, ‘Though you won’t feel it with that thing still on you.’

Jim points at the coat which is over heating you.

‘I’m not taking it off Jim.’ you give him a grumpy look and cross your arms.

‘Can you even take it off?’ You look away from the man which makes him giggle.

‘...No, the zip is stuck...’ you pout, ‘I’m not cutting it off. It’s sentimental to me!’

Your arms uncross, showing the many cuts across the coat. Even though it’s broken the cuts can be easily stitched up and covered up.

Jim takes your dangling arm and drags you with him.

‘Come on, let’s get this thing off you.’

‘But what about my soulmate Jim! Don’t change the subject!’ you arm starts to hurt from the enthusiastic man pulling on it.

The signature James.T Kirk smile pops on his face, he doesn’t respond.

Through much walking and a turbolife ride you both end up in Engineering.

‘Scotty!’ Jim shouts out as you look around at the engines of the ship, ‘need some help here!’

Beads of sweat start to form on you from the warm room, the coat you wear feels like it’s getting smaller around you. 

Maybe it is the best thing to take it off.

‘Aye, Captain. What do you need?’

A man, who you suppose is Scotty, walks out towards you both.

He is a red shirt with receding hair and a sweaty forehead. However, you find him to be quite cute, especially when he sees you and smiles.

‘You got anything to unzip my dear friend from this death trap?’

Jim turns and points at you, you give Scotty a tiny wave.

To Scotty you look too cute but he does wonder what you look like underneath due to the coat covering most of yourself.

‘Ah, we just need a pencil and some patience.’ Scotty hurries away to find a pencil.

‘A pencil!’ You stare daggers at the all too happy man, ‘Jim we didn’t need to come down to engineering to get a pencil!’

Your whisper shouting is interrupted but the resurfaces of Scotty holding a flat pencil in his hand.

‘May I?’ Scotty says coming closer to you. You shyly smile and say a small ‘yes’ before he comes closer.

‘You see you use the pencil on the top of the zip-’ you allow him to closer and begin to use the pencil on the zip, ‘-and it should loosen it-’

A blush has surfaced on your face, though you can easily say it’s from you overheating but the same blush has appeared on Scotty’s face. 

He jiggles the zip which undoes, he steps away so you can unzip the coat fully.

Like it’s the easiest thing in the world the coat comes off like shedding skin. You are automatically cooler as the puffy thing drops to the floor reliving your yellow dress uniform underneath.

You feel naked.

The coat was a comfort that coved up the your curves and the shortness of the uniform dress. Sure, you’re wearing thermal tights and big bulky winter boots but you still start to feel a tad insecure.

‘How you feeling (y/n)?’ Jim shouts from the sidelines with the same big smile on his face.

‘Weird. I feel weird Jim.’

You go to kneel down and retrieve the coat but Scotty beats you to it.

‘Here lass, I’ll get it for you.’

Scotty bends down and grabs the coat, he examines the cut up martial in his hands, he looks up right in your eyes and speaks.

‘Thermal martial, quite expensive for a normal winter coat.’ his is really just thinking out loud but the observation makes you smile.

He hand you over the coat which you hug into your body.

‘Yeah, well good job I didn't have to pay for it.’  Scotty looks confused, ‘It is- it was apart of my uniform. I had a thing before, was always cold.’

Jim looks on at you both babbling about the coat, he decides to intervene for both of you haven’t realised yet.

‘Didn't you wear a similar coat on that ice planet Scotty?’ 

Jim walks closer to you, who is hugging your coat too much to fully comprehend what’s to come.

‘Nah, I still froze half to bloody death.’ 

‘...what...’ your focus sifts to the Scotsman, shock morphs onto your face.

‘Yeah had hypothermia but somehow survived. Don’t know how I did?’

Scotty is oblivious to what has just dawned on you, he carries on talking about his time on the ice planet. However, he is interrupted but the soft thud of the bulky coat dropping on the floor.

Scotty turns to you to see tears escaping your face, his eyes start to water too.

He had been sweating more than usual for most of the day and now he is crying in front of a pretty lass and his Captain, how embarrassing.

‘A-are you sure Jim?’ you barley whisper as you stare at Scotty in front of you, salty tears still poring.

‘As sure as the day follows the night (y/n).’

A sound, that is like a mix between a laugh and a exclamative ‘huh’ escapes your lips along with the biggest smile. Your face, despite having tear stains, is a bright as the sun which is still shining.

Scotty is overcome by your happiness, a deep blush rises up his neck and covers his face.

‘Lass, you ok?’ he scratches the back of his neck in slight embarrassment for his sudden ripe red face.

‘I think we may have to sit down before I tell you this.’

.

.

You groan as you wake up from your slumber, the alarm blaring for you to get up.

Like you’ve done every day you heave the heavy and thick duvet cover off yourself however you are surprised to see the thing on the floor.

‘Whaa-’ you pat around yourself to feel that you have also striped yourself of your thick cotton pyjamas, only leaving yourself in some underwear.

It the dawns on you like deja vu, you feel warm.

‘Yeah, I found him.’ you groggily say as you swing your legs off the bed. You get ready for the rest of your day, with the recurring though of ‘I feel warm.’

To making the bed to putting on uniform, you are hit with the realisation that you don’t need all this thermal stuff for you’re not going to die of the cold.

Even when you slip on the horridly short yellow uniform that does fit well around your curves, you feel slightly more happy to wear it.

Despite that, you still hover at your door when you’re about the leave. Sure it’s stupid to bring along a cut up coat but would it hurt to take a long cardigan for comfort.

You run to your wardrobe and take out a thin and long black cardigan, which hides enough of your ‘bad looking’ areas that the uniform dress has created.

Old habits are hard to kill and you’re happy that they aren’t completely dead.

In your long cardigan and big boots you joyfully walk to the bridge.

The bridge doors swish open and you feel eyes on you.

‘Ah, (y/n) you’re finally here!’ your good friend chimes, the rest of the bridge crew agreeing.

‘You look very nice (y/n).’ Uhura says.

‘I agree, everything you wear is very efficient.’ Spock joins in.

A small and polite ‘thank you’ comes out. You walk over to your seat near Chekov and Sulu, both men say their ‘good mornings’ like the normally do.

You sigh as you lower you gaze to the small screen. However, you feel a hand on your shoulder. 

Looking up you see Scotty, your soulmate, holding a cup in his hand.

‘I though I’d come and check up on you-’ he passes the mug to you, ‘And give you your morning tea/coffee.’

‘You remembered!?!’

‘Aye. We did talk for three hours last night you know.’

You remember the night before when you told the man your realisation of you being his soulmate. For three hours you sat and watched him fix parts of the ship whilst talking.

It was the best three hours of your life.

‘I’ll see you at lunch?’ Scotty questions, hoping that you also remember that you agreed to have lunch with him.

‘Would miss it for the world!’

.

.

.

it took me so long to finish this one but i really like it! i love scotty so much so i didn’t feel like a drag to write it at all.

anyhow, i’m always up for writing more scotty so if you have a star trek request please send it in!

this was edited on the 6th of December, just some little spelling errors changed.

(also finding good star trek gifs is sooooo hard.)

[sombreboy]

Love Maze »21

Previous  » Next Series Masterlist ▎ 18+ ▎ pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ▎ genre: School AU, crack humor, smut, angst, ETL, slow burn, fluff. ▎ word count: 9.1k ▎ ch.warnings: profanity, light angst, fluff, discussion of unhealthy drinking habits (be responsible<3), phonesex/facetime sex, masturbation, dirty talk, tae sucks jk off in yoongi's car (don't tell yoongi)

Co-writer: @velvetwicebang​​​​​​​ ♡♡♡

A few months had passed, and Taehyung was finally done with High School. He’d been living with Jungkook during that time, and honestly? It was one of the best decisions he’s ever made. The elder was nervous at first; walking around his boyfriend’s apartment in his tippy toes— like a stranger would. Something about it being ‘official’ made it hard to chew. However, It didn't take long before Taehyung really treated the place like his own.

Spitting loud profanities when he’d lost at a game? Check. Walking around in only his boxers? Check.

Walking around butt-naked? Also check. He felt at peace, which wasn’t something he could say he’s ever experienced at his old place. His father took it.. well, he didn’t know how he’d taken it. The man barely ever wore any expressions on his face, trying to figure him out was nearly impossible. Daejung’s last words stuck with him, ‘You’re going to regret choosing that lifestyle, Taehyung. Moving in with your.. your boyfriend? That’s sick.’ It was at that moment Taehyung knew he had to get out of there. And to think there was a hint of guilt left.. Fuck it, it was about time he put his goddamn happiness first.

“Should I pack the blue shirt or the black one?” Sadly, good things almost always come to an end. Even if it was temporary, Tae could feel the sadness creeping up on him. Months away from his boyfriend sounded like pure torture. Taehyung was nineteen now, and he’d decided to attend college in America. The elder always joked that he was one year wiser, but maybe that was simply a facade to hide his inner fears. He was scared to move to a different country, scared to leave behind the only person who understood him. But if he wanted a better life for the both of them, he’d have to work hard to earn a stable job. Maybe being a businessman was his.. thing. At the moment, he felt no attraction towards it, but maybe as time went on he’d learn to fall in love with the career.. “Or should I pack both.” Here he was, packing the night before as expected, rushing through things.

“Kook, don’t be sad.” The younger’s silence was deafening. “Think of all the phone sex we’re gonna have, we haven’t done that before.” Taehyung pushed aside his internal conflict about which stupid shirt to pack, moving closer to his boyfriend to loop his arms around the boy’s waist. “Hey.. we’ll FaceTime. I know it’s not the same thing, but it’s better than nothing..”

Jungkook's melancholic expression brightened slightly at Taehyung's way of trying to lighten the mood. ''It does sound pretty hot...'' He tried to play along to rid himself of the emotions that swirled in his chest. Kook didn't want Taehyung to leave to begin with, but he hadn't actively tried to stop him. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he told him to stay simply for the reason that he wanted him close? He couldn't be selfish. ''You better call me often.'' Kook scrunched his nose, wrapping his arms around Tae's neck to draw their faces closer, allowing the younger to litter kisses all over his boyfriends face. ''And don't let any cute americans steal you from me.''

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Taehyung’s face scrunched up at the little kisses, playfully trying to wriggle away from Jungkook’s lock. “I’ll pick you over them any day.” After pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his boyfriend’s lips, Tae held out both shirts.

“Now, which one?”

~

“Babe, why are they here again?” It was nine in the morning, and Taehyung was quietly muttering those words into Jungkook’s ear. “I just wanted to say bye to yo—“

“I’ve never been in an airport before! Woah.” Hoseok’s wide eyes lit up as bright as the sun, palms pressed flat onto the big window as he watched an airplane take off into the air, gaze glued on it until the clouds engulfed it whole.

“It’s really nothing special..”

“Yoongi, shut the fuck up. Let me enjoy it.”

Tae turned to look back at his boyfriend, stifling a small, amused smile. Maybe he’d miss these guys a bit... And girl. Turns out, Jisoo wasn’t too bad. Namjoon and her have been officially dating for a few months now, and he’d moved in with her as well. Both couples spent a lot of time with one another, and naturally, Taehyung grew fond of her. Whatever happened between Jungkook and the woman, that was in the past. Their noona was head over heels for Joon, her loving stares said that much.

“You sure you got everything?” Jin pestered for the millionth time, earning himself the millionth nod of the head from Taehyung. “Yes, hyung. I’m sure.”

Jungkook relished in the bickering between his hyungs and his boyfriend while it lasted, but the anxiety kept coming back to him every single time he glanced over at the clock.. Time had never passed as quickly as it did until now. When the group finally had given their proper cheers and kind goodbyes, they allowed for Jungkook to finally get some space with Taehyung.. And honestly, it kind of hurt even more that way. He didn't want him to leave. Every single thing they did together, and suddenly they both had to spend their daily lives apart. Well, aside from their upcoming virtual relationship. ''Ah, shit...'' Jungkook raised his eyebrows high, staring up at the ceiling to prevent his eyes from tearing up. It didn't work that well, instead they glazed over as he looked back down at his boyfriend, reaching out to grab the elders hands in his, forcing him to let go of his baggage for the moment. He wasn't sure what to say, and he for sure knew if he tried-- he'd just start crying. But he had to say something. ''Do your best...'' Kook scrunched his nose as he smiled through the stray tears that were forcing themselves down his cheeks. ''And be safe.. and eat enough.. I heard their burgers are fuckin' good there.'' He rambled on, wishing time would slow down further.

The more Jungkook spoke, the more it crumbled down Taehyung’s composed front little by little. “Yeah,” He laughed weakly, a single tear shamelessly cascading down his face until Tae wiped it away with the back of his hand. “I’ll uhm.. I’ll eat a lot of burgers.” He too looked up at the ceiling, his eyes stung. His throat closed in, his chest felt heavy.. It hurt to say goodbye. “Come here.” His voice trembled as Taehyung pulled his boyfriend in for one last hug, hiding his face in Jungkook’s neck while he squeezed him tight. The elder’s hands grasped onto the fabric of the younger’s shirt, body beginning to quiver as he suddenly found it impossible to hold back his emotions. “I miss you already..” Taehyung murmured, harshly biting down on his lip to stop it from trembling. “I love you so much, remember that.”

Jungkook took a deep, shaky breath to keep himself together. It was so hard not to break down and cry right then and there, but he managed to stay somewhat collected. However, tears were given at a moment like this. "I love you." Kook murmured as he buried his nose in Tae's hair, wrapping one arm tightly around his boyfriends waist while the other reached to rub his neck. "Time will fly by, you'll be back before you know it." His words were comforting, and he wasn't entirely sure if they were meant for Taehyung or for himself. Possibly both. And it did work... a little bit. Unfortunately, the time came where they had to part, Jungkook practically forcing himself to let go of Taehyung. He wiped the elders tears away with his thumbs before kissing his cheeks, as if his lips were the remedy to make them stop from trickling down. "See you soon."

The group slowly came closer once more, waving Taehyung goodbye along with Jungkook, all of them huddled together to keep the youngest together as he clamped down on his trembling lower lip. When his eyes met Tae's, he couldn't help but smile. A wide, toothy grin shining through despite his cheeks being glossy with his tears, exaggerated waves coming from all of them-- but most of all, Jungkook.

“Jungkookie, he’ll be back before you know it.” Jisoo smiled, moving away from under Namjoon’s arm to soothingly smooth her hand across Kook’s back, taking notice of how taut his posture was under her touch. The rest of the gang nodded, adding in their words of encouragement.

“You’ll see each other soon! Now.. let’s eat! I’m fucking starving!”

~

Time did fly by indeed, and Taehyung kept in contact with his boyfriend, ringing him up whenever he could. The time difference oftentimes made it challenging, but they rose above the obstacles trying to keep them divided. Tae spoke to Kook about anything and everything, ranging from newfound friends, to how his English sucked ass, and if American burgers lived up to the hype. Turns out, they were alright. He’d also tell him how much he missed him, and sometimes, his roommate Jayson would pop in to say ‘hi’. They knew about the younger— maybe too much, as Taehyung didn’t keep him a secret, all of his inner insecurities were left in the past. There were lonely nights where he would more often than not wish he could hold Jungkook to sleep, play with his boyfriend’s hands, run his fingers through his long hair; but it wasn’t the reality he hoped for ...Not for long.

In just a few more days, Tae gets back in a plane. Excited was an understatement, he couldn’t wait to go back home, even if it was just for a week. Like most nights, Taehyung stayed up really late to catch a glimpse of Jungkook in the mornings. They’d planned to talk today, and there was no way his urge to sleep was going to get in the way of that. With his phone in his eager hands, Tae clicked on his boyfriend’s profile, running a hand through his hair whilst he waited for Jungkook to pick up his FaceTime call.

In the beginning, being away from Taehyung was absolute hell. There was no other way to describe it, Kook was sure of it. He had to brush his teeth by himself, beat the boss on this new game all alone, and the vacant spot in his bed was all too obvious. But with time, it became a bit easier, especially with his friends occasionally checking in on him at the beginning. But as time passed, their visits became less frequent. They all did have jobs after all.

Jobs.

Jungkook had been hunting for one of those for what felt like forever, but it was probably months, without any luck whatsoever. It was harder than he thought, and it was so frustrating. What was he supposed to tell his boyfriend?

"Shit, how did I forget..." Jungkook mused as he held his phone up, looking at the sweet contact photo that lit up. He was slouched down on his couch, his even longer curls hanging past his eyes as he moved his hair behind his ears to display the new earrings he'd gotten, two silver hoops in each ear. "Hey babe~" Kook wishes he didn't have those previous 'drown your sorrows' drinks before the call, the half slur obvious in his speech.. this habit was easy to break whenever he wanted to, surely. Him having a drink every now and then to relax was harmless, right?. But he didn't care about specifics now, he was just happy to see his boyfriend. Now, the one specific Kook didn't pay attention to, was that he was drunk early in the morning. He hadn't even slept yet. "Babyyy... miss you."

Every time, Taehyung swore he felt his heart skip a beat when Jungkook’s face showed up on the screen. But unlike usual, his boyfriend appeared less.. vibrant. Even with the shitty internet connection, the eyebags underneath Jungkook’s sullen eyes were clear. Was he not getting enough sleep? ‘Shit, am I calling too early in the mornings?’

The slur in the younger’s voice heightened Taehyung’s worries, who in response brought his phone closer to his face, as if he could further inspect Kook’s situation thousands of miles away. Was he drunk..? “Jungkook-ah.. are you okay?” He seemed out of it, his tangled hair appeared as if he’d ran his fingers through it countless times, pondering about something. Jungkook looked like a hot mess, and not just a ‘I’ve just woken up’ kind. “I— I miss you too, baby. Are you taking care of yourself, though?”

"Yes, 'm good," Kook only spoke a half truth. He was feeling pretty good at the moment, but generally? It was tough as shit. "I just miss you a lot..." Jungkook squinted slightly to focus on the face on his phone screen, a small smile on his lips as he attempted to avoid any discussion deeper than surface level. "You look pretty, baby~ oh! Look at this, I got new e-earrings." Kook brought the camera closer as he showed them off, the reddened hue in his eyes more obvious at this point.

If anyone could tell the symptoms of a drunk, it would be Taehyung. “Cool, new earrings, pretty. Kook, have you been drinking?” Taehyung’s brain couldn’t push it aside any further, it scared the hell out of him to see Jungkook this way. He had to watch his father turn into a drunk after his mother’s death, Tae only hoped his boyfriend was a lot smarter than the man, not relying on alcohol to momentarily solve life’s hurdles. But.. maybe this was a one time thing. Somehow, that option eased Tae’s visible distress. J ungkook wasn’t one to get drunk on the daily, this must be new. “Kook, baby, your earrings are really pretty. I just.. is there a reason why you’re drunk so early in the morning?”

Jungkook scrunched his nose, not even half satisfied with the unenthusiastic response to his new jewelry. Understandable though, he was very unlike his normal self. Well, the self he showed Taehyung. Truth is, Kook had turned to the bottles more frequently as of late due to the constant rejection of finding a job. Life was boring and draining all at once. All he did was work out, hunt for a job, and drink. Occasionally, he'd sit down and draw during these nights-- wondering just how many Taehyung inspired doodles he'd jotted down. "I'm just a bit drunk from last night still, I uh.." he ran his hand through his hair once more, tongue quickly rolling against the inside of his cheek. "Long day yesterday, and a long night.. couldn't sleep." Even if he didn't say specifics, it was still a partial truth once more. He didn't want Tae to worry.. and Kook felt too embarrassed to admit he'd been this unlucky. Who would've thought that not having a proper education would affect you this bad? Well, Jungkook definitely knew.

Taehyung did worry. It was in him to overly worry about his boyfriend’s well being, to constantly ask himself how he was doing, if he was scraping by with the little money he had saved up— if Jungkook was okay. “Hey, you know you can always tell me what’s up, right..? Even if it’s late over here, or if you just need someone to listen to you, I dunno, vent about how much you suck at beating bosses without me. Call me.” Tae meekly sighed, the worry having yet to diminish from his furrowed eyes. “I’m your boyfriend, I wanna listen to everything you have to say no matter how long your day or night was. I’ll listen to every bit of it.”

Jungkook wasn't expecting his eyes to glaze over with a layer of his tears at the words, his doe eyes growing in size as he stared at the man on his screen with nothing but his intoxicated affection. What was he thinking... Maybe he should just be honest. ''Okay,'' he took a quiet breath. ''Today I went to six different places that were hiring... All blatantly just rejected me. And it sucked.'' He chuckled sourly. ''But.. it's fine, it won't last for long.'' He's said this many times before, for months at end. He just hoped soon, luck would be on his side. ''Anyway... can we just talk about you, please? I can't wait to see you..''

“Oh, Kook..” Verbally, Taehyung didn’t know where to start. If he was there, he’d smother Jungkook in kisses, hug him securely until his arms became numb, or walk over to the fridge to fetch him banana milk. Those always seemed to make him feel better, no matter how small. But now that Taehyung was oceans away, he had to rely on his words. That scared the shit out of him; he’s never been quite the ‘motivational’ speaker. “Yeah, I mean, it won’t last long. Those people are dumbasses for letting someone as hardworking and kind like you slip by.” Tae smiled at the camera, “It’ll get better, don’t worry.” Growing tired of laying on his stomach, Taehyung flipped himself around. He stretched his arms out to give his boyfriend a broader view. The faint scar on his forehead was visible now that he laid on his back, but they were both used to it by now. “I can’t wait to see you either. Just a few more days, baby, and we can make up for all of the kisses and sex we missed out on~” The elder sang, thankful his roommate couldn’t understand what he was saying. “No but really, I just.. I can’t wait to hold you. I’ve had to hug my damn pillow to sleep.” Taehyung turned to look at the other man in the room, bringing the phone closer to his lips as if what he was going to tell Jungkook was a secret. “Jayson doesn’t like my snoring like you do.”

“I heard my name!” A pillow came flying at Tae’s face, who just laughed as he aimed it back at him, the urge to sleep no longer knocking at his door.

Jungkook's smile grew, his front teeth on full display on the screen as he chuckled until his shoulders were shaking. ''Yeah, we have a lot of catching up to do...'' He took a deep breath, eyes fixed on the boxy smile on his boyfriend. ''I really miss touching you, kissing you... everything.'' Kook wiggled his eyebrows, running his fingers through his long hair, knowing Tae loves the look of it. ''Ah, just the thought makes me hot.'' Well, and the alcohol still streaming through his veins that amplified his sudden shift in mood. Taehyung might not be the best talker-- but he surely did enough to distract the younger from his troubles by replacing one thought with another.

Figuring it would transcend past their language barrier, Taehyung flipped Jayson off before he discarded the pillow and turned his back to the dramatically offended man. Dedicating his attention to his phone once again, Tae’s fingers swam through his messy hair to fix the damage. A cheeky smile tugged at his lips when he saw Jungkook do the same. “You know what that does to me..” His hair’s gotten so long, it was hot. Really hot. Those earrings fit him nicely, too. “You know what else is hot?” The elder wiggled his brows, building up the unnecessary suspense just for the hell of it. “Me. I’m sweating in here, it’s like they don’t have any air conditioner or something.”

"Well, I know a solution," Jungkook brought the camera closer to his face, wiggling his eyebrows right back at his boyfriend. "but sadly you have a roommate..." he clicked his tongue. "I really want to see you..." Knowing Taehyung would get the hint, Kook leaned back on his couch as he allowed a small hiccup to escape his lips. He really had no shame, and was the alcohol to blame? Only partially, he mused. He'd become less and less embarrassed by things. It was just fun. Especially to keep one hand on his phone, while the other slowly palmed himself through his sweatpants, not allowing Tae to see any of it-- just the light twitches in the youngers eyebrows along with the soft, barely audible sigh that Taehyung knew too well.

“Fuck, Jungkook..” Taehyung bit down on his lip, sneaking a rushed glance over his shoulder. Shit, Jayson was still up; and if he continued to be heavily immersed into that book, it’d be a hell of a while before he goes to sleep. Tae was in no position to have virtual sex with his boyfriend, and Jungkook was purposely dangling a carrot in front of his face, taunting him. “You’re a brat, you know.” The elder nearly let out a grunt at the peek of the younger’s hand, moving vigorously whilst the camera shook slightly. “Making your boyfriend hard so late at night, tsk.” Taehyung’s hips rocked slightly, feeling his cock awaken with every twitch in Jungkook’s blissful face. “Goddamnit— uh, I’ll be going out,” He spoke to his roommate in broken English, throwing on his slippers and coming close to falling down face first onto the ground. Taehyung caught himself, though, rushing out of his dorm in a hurry. The elder pushed on the door to a vacant stairway, leaning his back against the wall. The light was dimmed, but it was enough to see what was going on. “You’re already seeing me baby, you gotta be more specific.” He picked up where they left off, deep voice hushed as he was afraid he’d wake someone up. "What do you wanna see, babe?” One hand snuck down past the waistband of his pants, welcomed by the warmth in his briefs as he toyed with his own cock, rubbing circles onto the swollen head.

Jungkook slouched down further on the couch, half laying down as he pulled his turgid length out to give it a proper stroke, drawing out a quiet groan from his own throat. "Wanna see your dick, babe..." his lips were swelling into a plush pout with the way he kept tugging at them with his teeth, the screen shaking more as he jerked himself off with more vigor. "Wanna see me too? I'm already so wet for you.." Kook didn't wait for a reply before he pressed the button to switch to his back camera, making a show out of the way his veiny hand held his swollen cock in a firm grip. He was practically dripping in precum, the glistening shine amplifying the red hue of his tip. "See what you do to me? Shit, I can't wait for you to come back."

“Oh fuck...” Taehyung’s ragged breathing reached the other line, touching himself to the lewd image on the screen while spreading his precum along the thick girth. “I wanna feel you.” What he’d do to fuck himself on Jungkook’s fat cock; his entrance clenched tightly at the thought. Frustrated, the elder whipped his big dick out. He gasped once it accidentally smacked against the screen, the wet sound too noticeable to ignore. “I don’t know what I want more, baby. To slam into your tight ass until you’re screaming my name, or to ride the shit out of you until I’m crying from how strong you are..” Taehyung lowered the phone to proudly show off his erection, throwing his head back against the wall as he put his hand to work. Soft, raspy moans emitted from his throat as more precum oozed out of him, some dripping down to the floor.

"We will do both when you're back, for sure-- oh my god, you're so fucking hot.." Jungkook flipped the camera again, angling so that Tae was able to see Kooks face and cock in one from above, the constant slick sounds of their hands and groans echoing from both of the boys' speakers. Actually, it was quite surprising. Jungkook wasn't that into the idea of cybersex at first, which made the first time a bit awkward when they tried. But the more they did it-- which was as often as possible, Jungkook had discovered that he was quite the filthy mouth. He loved seeing Taehyung's reactions to the dirty talk that Jungkook provided; and it surely did the same to him.

His boyfriend’s far from stable voice paired with the way his own cock twitched in his slick hand had Taehyung grunting, even moaning at the image on his screen. This came naturally for Jungkook, and it drove the elder insane. “Shit, a-are you close?” He followed after him, displaying his throbbing cock and face at once. The sounds of his sore hand sliding easily across his length were clearer than ever, and Taehyung didn’t know how much longer he’d last if they kept this up. “Baby, ‘m gonna cum..” Desperately trying to get himself to let go of the ledge, Tae picked up the pace, not caring that his moans were uncontrollably loud.

''Yes, cum babe-- I'm so close too.. fuck, I want you so bad,'' Jungkook nods hurriedly, the glistening sweat on his forehead catching strings of his dark curls to stick to his skin. ''I wish I could cum all over your face, your body, s-shit, shit...'' He moaned, throwing his head back to display his strained neck, swallowing tightly as he stroked himself at a brutal pace, feeling his thigh muscles tense up. His hips were bucking up into his hand, eyes completely transfixed on his boyfriend until a dragged out, throaty moan echoed in Taehyung's speaker. Several ropes of cum gushed from Kook's swollen tip, some dribbling down to his hand, some pooling at his stomach. " Fuck, I'm cumming so much--Tae...'' He closed his eyes, the phone shaking in his hold as he kept stroking himself until he was completely emptied.

“Wanna feel you cum inside of me..” Taehyung tugged at his lower lip with his teeth, trying to silence the very moans that could get him caught. “A-ah, fuck..” The second he hazily saw his boyfriend crumble down to a pathetic mess, was the moment his own orgasm drew out a deep, drained cry of alleviation. Strings of cum burst onto his front camera, his screen, and the floor underneath him. “Cum baby, shit that’s hot..” Taehyung’s slick hand soon came to a bumpy halt, instead focusing on catching his lost breaths. He opened his lust-invaded eyes a few seconds later, the darkness within them slowly vanishing to its hiding spot. The elder wiped away the cum off his phone, now able to see Jungkook’s worn out state more clearly. “You look hot as fuck with those earrings, Kook.” Taehyung quietly whimpered as he tucked himself back in, grimacing slightly at the sticky cum latching on to his hand. “I wanna see them dangle next time I’m under you.” Despite his lewd words, a content sigh led to a pleased smile. Shit, Tae really needed an outlet of some sort to let out some steam, and this was the perfect solution. Classes were stressful as fuck, and his calls with Jungkook always made him feel better. “Love you. Really wish I wasn’t saying that to your dick right now.” Tae lazily smirked, unable to see Kook’s face past the pole on the screen.

Jungkook's breathy laugh echoed in the room, bringing the phone up to his face that was a satisfied mess, curls sticking to his skin and every other direction. "I'll get longer earrings for you then.. I love you more." He carelessly wiped his sticky hand on the fabric of his pants before a yawn emitted from his lips. "I'm getting sleepy... I really wish you were here. Can't wait to see you." He pouted towards the camera, "I imagine you would jump into my arms at the airport, I'll carry you home." With that in mind, the little doe eyed boy was anything but small by now. His muscle mass had kept growing while Tae was gone, and by now he knew that his boyfriend would swoon even harder with the way he always loved the younger's strength.

“I’ll be home soon, Kook.” The elder smiled, wishing he was there to brush away the curls clinging to Jungkook’s forehead. “I will hold you to that. From how tired I’ll be, you might just have to carry me home.”

~

Taehyung had been counting down the days he’d be able to see Jungkook in person again— to jump into his boyfriend’s arms like Kook had envisioned. The anticipated day seemed like it’d never come, but when it was finally time for him to board on a plane back home, Tae was ecstatic! The thirteen hour flight was quick to tear down his initial enthusiasm, but knowing Jungkook would be waiting for him at the finish line was enough of a boost to get him going. Hours flew by with him eating, staring blankly at the seat ahead, sleeping, and repeating. It’d become kind of a routine by now.. Taehyung was struggling to stay awake throughout the last few minutes, but the moment the voice on the speaker announced they’d landed safely, Tae’s eyes shot wide open. He was back home, to Jungkook. The elder hadn’t seen his boyfriend in months, which naturally felt like years on his end.

Once he’d gotten checked in and found his luggage, Taehyung practically speed-walked to the area that had Kook waiting for him. His heart was pounding. It almost felt like he was back in their school’s common room, anxiously rocking on his feet as he craned his neck, searching for those doe eyes among the crowd. There were other couples that were reunited; a girl jumped into a man’s arms, some held out big ‘Welcome Back!’ signs, and others had bouquets of flowers meant for the other person. Taehyung didn’t care about any of that, he just wanted to hug the shit out of his boyfriend. Maybe even kiss him in front of all these people..

~

Jungkook was anxious, the last couple hours of waiting was absolutely dreadful. Back home, he'd rushed around to clean up at the last minute for his boyfriend's arrival. Luckily, he'd gotten his drivers license done with the amount of free time he'd gotten lately. After endless begging for the fact that Kook wanted to go by himself, he was allowed to borrow Yoongi's not so new, new crappy car. Finally, the moment Jungkook had been longing for arrived as he stood behind the crowd, anxiously shifting his weight between his feet. The very second he saw the flow of people coming through the gate of the flight Taehyung was on, his doe eyes searched for the face he's been missing every single second for months on end.

"Taehyung!" Kook chirped out through the crowd as he scuffed through when he pointed out his person. The butterflies practically exploding in his chest was overwhelming, his entire body moving on it's own towards Tae with large arms reaching out for him along with the brightest toothy smile on his lips.

“Jungk— woah, hey there.” Before Taehyung had any time to register the direction of where his name came from, he looked ahead only to see his boyfriend practically lunging himself at him. “Baby, you’re loud.” Tae softly chuckled, not wasting any time before neglecting his luggage, instead wrapping his arms tight around the younger’s waist. Fuck, he’d missed him so much.. The mild scent of his clothes, his soft locks, everything ranging from big to small. “Shit, I-I missed you. A lot.” Taehyung pulled away to cup Jungkook’s pretty face in between his hands, his faint smile morphed into a boxy grin before he took a big leap of faith and molded their lips together. The elder led the kiss, slow and steady, not worried about the ruckus of people surrounding them. Taehyung was just happy to be back home, and he was going to show it the only way he knew how.

Jungkook's arms wrapped around Taehyung's smaller back to pull him back in, he craved to feel their chests pressing together once more as he had to hold back with every fibre of his being not to devour Taehyung whole. It was a sweet moment, yes, but Jungkook had been starved of the physical affection he's so fond of for months. Softly, he kissed his boyfriend back, but the desperation behind the way he kept going back in for more was evident. ''I missed you too, so much.'' The younger finally said when their kiss came to an end, pulling back just enough to be able to look at each other. Taehyung looked so good, a bit more tan than when he'd left. His face looked fuller, like he'd gained a little bit of weight, and his hair had grown-- just like his own. Tae looked so different, yet he was exactly the same. ''You look pretty.'' Kook scrunched his nose, leaning in to kiss the small mole on his boyfriend's nose, ''You must be so tired. Wanna get out of here?''

As fast as lightning, Taehyung’s head bobbed in agreement. All he’d done was sit in a plane, yet every inch of him was longing for a nap. Turns out, airplane seats weren’t the most comfortable. “How did you get here, by the way. Did one of the guys give you a ride?” The elder spoke too soon, one of his brows arched in question when he saw Jungkook unlock the doors of a car he’s never seen before. “Kook... what’s this?” He chuckled. His boyfriend’s never told him he’d learned how to drive. Still confused, Taehyung threw his light baggage into the trunk of the car, walking around to situate himself on the passenger’s seat. This felt.. odd. Tae was used to being the one who drove them places. Seeing Jungkook in the driver’s seat was new, to say the least. He’d gotten used to it, though. The few minutes he’d seen Jungkook driving with one strong hand on the wheel, the veins in his forearm sticking out. The way his brows furrowed in utter concentration..

Fuck.

It was a lie, Taehyung wasn’t used to it. It’d gotten to a point where Tae couldn’t take staring anymore, his drowsiness replaced with lust. “Pull over.” He ordered in his deep voice, squeezing Jungkook’s thigh. “I’m gonna suck your dick.” It was straightforward, but the elder wasn’t going to beat around the bush anymore.

Jungkook's lips parted in a light gasp when he felt Taehyung's firm grip on his thigh, glancing over at his boyfriend with raised eyebrows. ''R-right now?'' From the look in Taehyung's eyes, that seemed to be the case, the urgency in them non negotiable. They were half way home, but the lust stirring in both of them had them both too impatient. Kook pulled over and parked in a more secluded area by a simple gas station, not much people around as it was rather late. Jungkook turned the engine off before turning to properly look at Taehyung, snapping his seatbelt off within the same motion. ''Missed me that bad?'' He smiled coyly, leaning back in his seat to spread his legs a bit, showing off the already half hard erection that remained hidden underneath his pants.

“Mhm.” Taehyung thrusted his seatbelt to the side, placing one hand on each of Jungkook’s thighs as he leveled himself down in front of the younger, on his knees like a good boy. Gazing up at him through his eyelashes, Tae took his time when dragging down his boyfriend’s zipper with his teeth, holding a show despite their eagerness. “You learned how to drive?” His rough hand snuck into Jungkook’s boxers, the corner of his lips twitching up into a sly smirk once he’d finally gotten to feel Kook’s cock. The last few months of cybersex had him foaming at the mouth. He was always left pleased, but not as pleased as he could’ve been. The elder wanted more than to simply see Jungkook’s dick on the screen, no, he needed to touch. “You look so hot driving, babe..” Taehyung excitedly pulled out Jungkook’s hardened shaft, eyes twinkling with a sea of mischief. “So fucking hot.. shit.” He pressed a chaste kiss onto the tip. “Look at you, learning how to drive so you could pick up your boyfriend at the airport.” Tae stamped another open mouthed kiss on the swollen head, his fingers curling tighter around the base. “Missed this cock so fucking much..” He left a trail of wet kisses along the sides, running his tongue along the veins that traveled within the soft skin.

"Yeah, wanted to pick you up myself..." Kook nodded, his breath quickly getting heavier with each second watching Tae get to work that passed. "Missed your mouth so much, Tae.." Jungkooks gaze was fixed on the show that Taehyung was putting on for him, unable to hold back his audible sighs in pleasure. He could tell that Tae missed him, or rather; feel it. The needy look in his eyes told him that much, and kook's eyes mirrored it a thousand fold. "Fuck, yes... put it in your mouth babe, please..." The tease drove him mad way too quickly, the patience thrown out the window the moment Taehyung got on his knees. All Jungkook could think about was to feel his cock wrapped in the wet, fleshy warmth of his boyfriend's mouth.

The elder did as he was told— after teasing Jungkook some more; licking and squeezing at the rigid, sensitive skin. Then, Tae supposed enough was enough. Even he was getting awfully impatient. “Hmm~” The vibrations of his echoing hums spread flat along Jungkook’s cock, same as his tongue while Taehyung slowly bobbed his head, stroking the rest of what he couldn’t fit in his mouth. His other hand snuck underneath Jungkook’s shirt, feeling around the tight muscles he’d once dreamed of touching when he was away. Now, it was his reality. The elder’s soft inhales clashed against his boyfriend’s pubic region with every backward gliding motion, followed by noticeable exhales alongside every downward drag. He loved taking his time with this man, every twitch of his dick was to die for.

"Ah, fuck that feels good..." More than good, it felt fucking amazing. Jungkook had no restraint regarding any attempt to hold his throaty moans back, loudly exclaiming the pleasure Taehyung's mouth put him through. "I love you, I love your mouth.. shit i missed it so much." He hastily murmured between ragged breaths, one hand running through the dark locks hanging freely on Tae's head, gently keeping his hair tangled between his fingers. Kook hadn't felt this sensation in such a long time that he almost forgot how amazing it was compared to his own hand, his cock already growing to full size inside of Taes mouth, twitching desperately as well as profusely coating his boyfriend's tongue with precum.

Whether it was the soreness building up in his jaw, how challenging it was to breathe with every dip of his head, or the simple hunger for the taste of Jungkook’s burst of cum; Taehyung was dead set on alleviating his boyfriend free of the pent up energy he had stored throughout his body— especially his dick. He could feel Kook’s cock twitching, as if the attention it was getting was beginning to be too much. It drove Tae to suck him off faster, harder, sloppier. His eyes glistened over with a layer of unshed tears, the relentless deep-throating finally taking its toll on him. “Hmm..!” He looked up at his boyfriend, practically begging him to cum with one desperate gaze. Taehyung longed to taste the salty yet faintly sweet flavor of Jungkook’s load, hoping it would quench the dryness in his abused throat.

Jungkook's jaw hung open in awe, the eyes meeting his own from below looking desperately needy for his cum. Fuck, it was so hot; Kook knew he was unable to hold it any longer than this. Besides, there was really no need to, the elder was more than ready to be rewarded for his hard work. "Gonna cum, gonna cum, oh god...." Jungkook's words were shaking just like his entire body, the hand in Taehyung's hair tightening the grip to bring him down on his cock simultaneously with the way the younger bucked his hips upwards. Only a few more thrusts were needed before Jungkook's hips stuttered, thighs tensing up as his cum gushed out of his throbbing length to fill up Taehyung's mouth. "Tae, fuuuck yes...." he hissed with a throaty groan, leaning his head back as he licked his chapped lips.

Taehyung’s eyes widened at the sudden gush of cum, the blurry pair gradually coming down to their original, hooded shape once his tongue had gotten familiar with the taste. It was just as he remembered; tangy with a hint of sweet. He pulled away from Jungkook’s glistening cock with a ‘pop’, staring up at the younger as he willingly swallowed the rest of his warm load. Tae’s tongue swiped over his swollen lips, claiming the last bit of cum that lingered around the corners. Noticing that Jungkook’s dick was still oozing with delicious cum, he leaned back in to wrap his plush lips around the tip, cheeks profusely adorned with a hue of red as his wet tongue circled around the head; giving it a proper cleanup.

A soft, content sigh emitted from Jungkook, hips twitching slightly when Tae cleans up his sensitive cock from the aftermath of his orgasm. "Wow.." is all he could muster to say, that was probably the best oral he's ever received ever. Scrap that, it definitely was the best. Kook glanced down at his boyfriend as the haze of lust slowly dispersed, the doe eyes filled with affection replacing it. He loosens his grip in Taes hair to comb his fingers through it, down to caress his cheek. "I love you." His small smile grew, "so much. Get up here and let me kiss you."

The elder wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, finishing tucking Jungkook back in before he rose up from his knees, straddling his boyfriend’s lap. It was a tight space, but he liked it that way. All Taehyung wanted was to spend a week glued onto Jungkook’s side, knowing he’d regret it if he hadn’t spent every waking second with his favorite person. He only had a week, after all. Tae was going to make sure it was the best week yet. “I love you more.” He moved his slightly swollen lips against Jungkook’s chapped ones, wrapping his arms tight around the younger’s neck to bring him even closer, feeling the rhythmic pattern of their warm chests rise and fall against one another. This was something he missed, a lot. Taehyung withdrew from their gentle kiss after his breathing turned scarce, slender fingers lightly fidgeting with the silver hoops in Kook’s ears. “Is this your car? It’s almost as shitty as mine.”

"It's Yoongi's, I can't afford a car.." Jungkook chuckled, the undertone of his words a bit sour. He really wanted one of his own, but finding a job had been a shitty experience thus far. Losing hope was an understatement, but it wasn't gone. "I like your car more." He adds with a wider smile as he leans in closer, placing small kisses along Taes jaw to soothe the light aching from all the sucking he'd done. "Ready to go home?" Kook asks as he's practically holding Taehyung like he had no intention of letting go, contradicting his every word. He wanted to tell his boyfriend close for the entire week; itll suck to be alone for a second time, so every single second together matters.

Considering Yoongi lived close to their apartment, Taehyung insisted they hand the boy back his car (before they dirty it even more). Tae still couldn’t believe he sucked his boyfriend off in someone else’s car. It wasn’t the ideal setting, but Yoongi didn’t have to know.. Walking wouldn’t be a problem, Taehyung didn’t have an awful lot of baggage to carry— two, actually. He’d missed the familiarity of the streets; the small Noodle Shop owned by an older lady, a questionable tattoo parlor right around the corner, and the delicious aroma of fried food. He’d missed everything about his home; America was good.. but it wasn’t the same.

“Taehyung, dude, you there?” Yoongi’s deep voice snapped him out of it. Confused, Tae blinked a couple of times before he advanced back to reality. “I said,” The eldest crossed his arms, “you guys didn’t fuck or anything in my car, right?”

The look on Taehyung’s face was one of pure horror, as if he’d just seen a ghost right through Yoongi’s narrowed eyes. Or worse, as if he’d just been told that strawberries ceased to exist anymore.

“Wha— dude, no! That’s..” He cleared his throat, sneaking an ‘oh shit, we’re fucked’ side glance at Jungkook. “That’s g-gross.”

The mint-haired male found his anguish amusing. “Tae, calm down. I was just joking, I know you guys are classier than that or whatever.” A faint laugh slipped past his lips. Taehyung’s tense shoulders gradually fell down to their natural, less strained position. “Ah, of course. I knew that, we’re extremely classy when it comes to our sex spots. The classiest.” Now it was Taehyung’s turn to be amused, and a bit relieved. Still chuckling under his breath, Yoongi mindlessly waved the boys off before disappearing into his home, clueless about the truth.. Taehyung didn’t feel that guilty.

“Shit, that was close.” He turned to look at Jungkook, breaking out into a cheeky grin from the jittery rush of it all. “Come on, let’s get out of here before he realizes.” With that being said, Tae’s hand latched onto his boyfriend’s before he led them both to their home.

"Yeah!" Jungkook chimes while he interlocks his fingers with Taehyungs, keeping their palms tightly pressed together as they head home. The familiar surroundings seemed to amaze Tae, the look in his eyes one of wonder and awe. "Welcome back home, baby." Jungkook sang out as he unlocked the familiar door, the light creak noise it made as it opened a sound they've both heard at least a million times. He held the door open for Tae, ushering him to get inside his newly deep cleaned apartment.

“Woah, Kook.. you cleaned.” Taehyung muttered as though that was a big shock. And it was, a little bit. Their apartment looked brand new, definitely less cluttered than when he left.. He let go of his luggage, stuffing his large hands into his pockets before taking a tranquil stroll around the place, indulging himself in the overly familiar sight of it all. They made a lot of memories here, and walking back into such space after a long time was revitalizing for his soul. Maybe Taehyung had grown up, but damn did he miss it. It didn’t compare to the place he’d been staying at for the last few months. With a lopsided smile, Tae turned to face Jungkook, walking towards him with outstretched arms. “Angel, first the driving and now cleaning? You’re the best.” The elder leaned in to press a quick kiss onto Kook’s puckered lips, ignoring the fact that it sounded as if they were an old, married couple.

“Hello! Welcome back!” Taehyung craned his neck to the side, seeing three dear faces peek past the open doorway. Of course.

“Taehyung-ah, you look so tan and healthy! Like freshly baked bread.” Jisoo happily exclaimed, inviting herself in to hug Tae, tiptoeing to her full potential. It was weird how much their feelings towards one another changed during the span of a few months, but it was for the best. Jisoo was his friend’s girlfriend, and his boyfriend’s close friend, Taehyung had to toughen up.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” He laughed, withdrawing from her hug to shake Joon’s hand, leaning down slightly to kiss Yuna’s chubby cheek. Oh yeah, the elder wasn’t extremely afraid of babies anymore. The little girl had grown on him.

“So come on, are you fluent in English now or what?” Namjoon joked, the dimples in his cheeks sinking deeper when he leaned in for a proper hug, careful to not squish Yuna in between them.

“A little bit.” Tae responded in the little English he knew, smirking when they’d seemed impressed. The pair definitely knew how to amp up his confidence.

“Jungkookie, are you thrilled?” Jisoo grinned, playfully nudging her shoulder against his.

''I barely slept, I was too excited to pick him up.'' Jungkook's bunny-like grin grew as he reached out to pull Taehyung closer once more, hugging him from behind. He placed his chin on the elders shoulder, squeezing his arms around him. ''But worth.''

''You guys wanna do something tomorrow? Like, get dinner or something.'' Namjoon suddenly asks, he'd missed seeing the two boys together. ''We could bring the group together, they've missed this.'' He gestured over the younger boys tightly squeezed together, his dimpled smile growing as he glanced over at Jisoo; who hurriedly nodded in agreement.

''Hmm..'' Jungkook had missed out on having a good meal for a while. His hands found Taehyung's fiddling with his long fingers between his own. ''I bet you've missed korean food, I'm down to go.''

“Fuck— missed is an understatement, Kook.” Taehyung uncomfortably twisted his neck to look at his boyfriend, further flaunting his excitement with the obvious glint in his eyes.

“Language, Tae. We have virgin ears in the room.” Namjoon scolded, pointing down at a perplexed Yuna. She looked as if she’d just woken up from a nap.

“Ah, forgot.” Taehyung unlatched himself from Jungkook’s hold, extending out his arms towards the little girl in Joon’s protective hold.

“You’ve gotten heavy, Yuna.” Tae noted, “Uncle Tae will have to come by more often so I don’t miss out on too much.” He’d missed everyone; Tae wanted to catch up, figure out what’s been going on with their busy lives. How's it going with Hoseok and his longtime girlfriend; is she still saving herself for marriage?

Jin. The latter wanted to open up his own bakery shop; is that still his plan?

What happened to Jimin and that crush of his? Did he finally make a move like he’s been meaning to?

Lastly, Yoongi. Now that Taehyung thought about it.. the elder never really spoke about his ambitions.. Who knew what went on in his hyung’s head half the time. Catching up over dinner sounded like the perfect place to ask him what he’d been meaning to do after high school.

“Great! Then it’s a plan.” Jisoo smiled, clasping her hands in complete enthusiasm. Namjoon and Jisoo waved their temporary goodbyes after finalizing tomorrow's plan. Jungkook closed and locked the door behind them before turning and approaching Taehyung once more, reaching out to brush his long curls out of his eyes.

''Are you hungry? It's pretty late, but... You've only survived on airplane food for the past twelve hours.'' He shrugged. ''I don't have much, as usual, but I do have some leftover lunch boxes from Jisoo..'' He inched closer to get a good look at Tae's face, the long hours of travelling evident in the dark circles adorning his eyes. ''It's bulgogi and rice... It's de-li-cious.''

“It sounds de-li-cious,” Taehyung cutely mocked his boyfriend’s singsong voice, pulling away to stroll into the small kitchen. “I’ll heat up one plate for the both of us. I’m not too hungry.” The elder reached to pull on the fridge door’s handle, crouching down to look for the food, but instead he was faced with various bottles of alcohol. There was beer, wine, rum— a bit of everything. “Uh, baby? Why’s there so much alcohol in our fridge?” Taehyung tried to play off his mild concern with a lighthearted chuckle, mind suddenly racing back to his boyfriend’s drunken state in one of their FaceTime calls. “There’s like, nothing else to drink.” He looked up at Jungkook from his crouched position, facial expression becoming serious.

Ah. That. Shit.

''Yeah, uh...'' Jungkook stood by the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, not sure what to say to his defence. The expression on Taehyung's face said enough, he wasn't pleased at all; and with all rights, Kook knew he wasn't fond of alcohol in the same way. ''It's nothing, I just drink sometimes.'' He shrugged, hoping it would be enough. What young adult doesn't drink these days, right? ''There's probably a soda in there.'' He approached the fridge, digging through the clinking bottles to pull out a coca cola bottle made of glass, wiggling it in front of his boyfriend. He used his foot to quickly close the fridge, hoping he'd let it go.

Taehyung gently swatted the coca cola bottle away from his face, contemplating opening the fridge door once again but he simply straightened his posture, now at the same eye level with Jungkook. He’d already seen enough. “Sometimes? Kook, booze is basically all you have in there.” Tae didn’t care if his boyfriend drank. Hell, even he enjoyed the wonders of alcohol once in a while. But this fridge.. it looked an awful lot like the one back home. “Just.. promise me you’re drinking responsibly? That’s all I wanna know.” He sounded like such a dad, but Taehyung wanted nothing more than to protect Jungkook at this moment. Alcoholism was a touchy subject for him, and Tae hoped he wouldn’t get to see his boyfriend fall down the same hole he’d seen another man get sucked into in the past.

Jungkook felt the guilt welling up in his gut at the worry in Taehyung's eyes, the grip around the cola bottle tightening slightly. Truth was, he did drink more often than he probably would ever admit to, but he was not going to tell his boyfriend that. He didn't want to cause another worry, he was just going to be here for one week-- and he'd like their time together to be happy moments only. ''I promise.'' Kook clearly said, trying his best to keep his face straight. He decided he wouldn't drink at all during this-- maybe even quit completely. Couldn't be that hard, right? ''Don't worry. I'm not out of control.''

“Good.” Taehyung had no other option but to trust him; Jungkook’s never lied to him before. If his boyfriend was starting to form an unhealthy drinking habit, Kook would tell him in a heartbeat. Taehyung was confident he didn’t have anything to worry about, if the youngest promised, then he had no reason to doubt him.

“Alright, let’s eat something before heading to bed then. I’m tired.”

© sombreboy 2020. Do not repost, edit or translate.

[buckleyydiaz]

Dirty, Dirty

Moreid, 2.9k words. Also on ao3

Reid had been perfectly happy just fantasizing about the dream life that he wanted to have with Morgan. He let himself think that anyway, but it didn’t take much for everything to all come tumbling down around him.

Derek had bullied Reid into going to a club with him and the girls, finally wearing down the resistance Spencer only ever showed to try and hide just how much he truly wanted to be with the older man.

They walked into a building that was far too loud for Spencer’s own tastes, with lights too bright, music turned up too high, and too many sweaty people crowding on the dance floor. And whilst that phased Spencer slightly, he continued on, willing to sacrifice his own comfort and ease to see Morgan look so happy, so carefree.

It was something he didn’t see enough of on his co-worker’s face, not with the reality of the job being what it was. Anger, focus, and carefully concealed sadness most often graced Derek’s face, so the change was a relief.

But Spencer had already noticed a change, before they had driven to the bar, before Spencer had even said yes to going.

Derek had been happier over the last few days, less on edge when on the most recent case, less bored when doing his paperwork. It seemed as though something else had taken over the forefront of his mind, the same way that thought of Morgan had taken over Spencer’s.

Spencer had always been acutely aware of his feelings for Morgan, from early on in his career in the BAU. It was just a fact of his life, something that he lived with, never speaking about it or acting on it, leaving those thoughts to himself, as company for lonely nights in bed, or just when he wanted to feel like his future was actually going somewhere, like he could have the family that he had dreamed of since he was young, a desire that had always been pushed back as unimportant compared to his academic pursuits.

And Reid knew the thoughts weren’t something he should have been having. He shouldn’t be thinking of his best friend in that way, it was dirty, wrong, but he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t his fault that Morgan, despite generally coming off as a straight man, occasionally seemed to throw him hints, taking the flirting just a step too far to be friendly.

That didn’t make it easier when he looked up from the back of his friends’ heads which he had been following through the club, to see a woman sitting at the table to which they were headed. It didn’t make it hurt any less when Derek turned and grinned at him, Prentiss, JJ and Garcia, and began to introduce them to the vaguely familiar woman in front of them.

“Hey!” Derek called out, capturing the girl’s attention, “These are my friends, Emily, JJ, Penelope, and Spence. Guys, this is Alexa.”

At that moment, Spencer began to lose all focus on what was happening. He took a seat at the table, not trusting his legs to hold him up, and lost control to his mind.

Of course the woman looked familiar. All it took was the name and he knew exactly who he was looking at. Alexa Lisbon, the girl from his highschool who was behind the most humiliating moment of his life, the girl who came up with the master plan to tie a twelve year old boy up to a goalpost, naked, by tricking him into thinking that for once, something good was happening to him. The girl who he had named in a story that Morgan clearly hadn’t cared enough to remember. 

He looked at her, seeing that she hadn’t made the same connection that he had, hadn’t realised that the man standing in front of her was once the nerdy boy she had loved to torment. He looked at the way she had her head leaning against the crook of Derek’s neck as they stood side by side.

Spencer couldn’t help but wonder what Morgan saw in that… that bitch, that he didn’t see in Reid. Maybe she was closer to Derek’s age, was the one who wore designer clothing and had perfect hair, skin, and a gorgeous face, but surely Morgan wasn’t that superficial, could look past, see all the things that Spencer had and Alexa didn’t. 

He sat there, for what seemed like it was much longer than it realistically was. When he realised people were trying to talk to him, and he was just ignoring them, he hurriedly excused himself, leaving to his car under the guise of going to the bathroom. He would send Emily a message in a few minutes, but he was so uncomfortable there that escaping the discomfort won out over his need to be polite.

Crying in his car. Spencer had never been known for having interesting weekends or nights out, but this truly had to be an all time low. He was sitting in his small old car, crying over a man who chose a horrid girl over him, a man who had so much more to offer.

Contrary to popular belief, especially amongst the team, despite not being as stereotypically masculine as the rest of the men of the BAU, Spencer had never been one to wallow in his own misery, or be overly insecure. He knew his abilities, and had long ago accepted and understood his shortcomings. 

In a way, that made it harder for him to get over the Derek and Alexa thing. He knew he was better than her - more genuine, smarter, kinder, more professional, didn’t enjoy bringing harm on innocent young boys who just wanted to be liked. He could acknowledge that he wasn’t as typically beautiful as Alexa, but Derek had always referred to him as “Pretty Boy,” and surely that had to count for something.

He knew he didn’t have long before someone went looking for him, reminding him to text Emily - the one who was least likely to try and hunt him down, interrogate him. He wished he was strong enough to stay, to just prove to Derek what he was missing, but he wasn’t that type of person. He wasn’t the kind of person to go out and find another guy or girl to prove his point, so he was just stuck, jealousy burning inside himself.

With each tear that fell down his cheeks, his anger at the bitch in the club with his friends rose. It should be Spencer spending time with Derek, dating him, fucking him, cuddling him, loving him. Not a girl who cared more about what they looked like than if they cared for each other, if they were perfect together in the way that Morgan and Reid could be, would be.

So he was the one sitting alone, wishing that Derek would finally see who was right in front of him, had been, for all the years they had known each other. 

--

Derek could tell something was wrong from the moment he had introduced Alexa. Spencer became guarded, closed, and his mind drifted to something else. 

At first, he couldn’t tell what had happened to cause it. He had expected his best friend to be happy that he had found a beautiful, kind woman to be with, but instead he seemed angry, even sad.

He tried his best to keep his focus on the conversation, playing the charming, happy boyfriend that he was supposed to be, had to be, in order to keep up appearances. But it felt odd, almost unnatural, especially when Spencer was ignoring them all when they tried to talk to him.

“Sorry, excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom,” was the first that they had heard from him all night beyond the initial exchange of ruched awkward pleasantries. Spencer raced off, out of sight, and Derek had to resist the strong urge to follow him, to make sure he was okay.

Because Spencer was his best friend. And no one would want a friend that close to go on feeling uncomfortable or out of place. It wasn’t right.

But it wasn’t right for him to up and leave for no real reason, either. Spencer had said he was going to the bathroom, and there was no real reason to suspect anything different, other than the pit of dis-ease growing in his stomach.

As the time ticked by, seemingly dragging on for as long as it could, Morgan grew increasingly restless, concerned for his Pretty Boy. A phone buzzed from its position on the table. When Emily flipped hers over to check, she saw a notification, reading it out to the rest of them.

“I am not feeling well, and I am going to go home. Don’t worry about me, have fun.”

Barring Alexa, they all turned to each other, concerned by being told not to worry. It was uncharacteristic for Spence to just up and leave, especially with just a text message, even if he was ill.

Unable to sit still and do nothing any longer, Morgan stood up. 

“I’m going to go and see if he has left yet. This isn’t like him, I’m a bit worried.”

Alexa looked up at him and pouted, getting on his nerves. Spencer would never do that, he thought, he would be too worried about the other person. It's so selfish of her, maybe she was just a pretty face.

Derek walked off towards the car park, wondering what the hell had happened to make Spencer so upset. He didn’t enjoy going to clubs, but he never reacted like that. So it had to be something to do with Alexa.

Nothing reasonable came to mind. It wasn’t like his Pretty Boy to be jealous, and judging off the women Derek had seen him with before, Alexa wasn’t even his type. It had to be something else then. Something personal, something serious enough to make him betray the manners that were usually important to him.

That was when everything began to click into place. His childhood. His Pretty Boy had been bullied and teased relentlessly, and he remembered Alexa telling him that she had grown up in Las Vegas. Oh shit, he thought. The case, where Owen Savage went around shooting people who had wronged him, when they had been alone in the boy’s room.

An Alexa Lisbon had been the one who had used herself as bait, in a situation ending up with Spencer tied naked to a goal post, left there for hours until some teacher had found him and untied him.

No wonder Spencer left, and it was his fault for being a stupid idiot who forgot about his best  friend telling him one of the moments that would stick with him for the rest of his life, haunt him. 

Spencer’s car was still in the car park, and as much as Derek wanted to go and talk to him, apologise more than anyone would believe to be humanly possible, he wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do, or if it would just make things worse for Spence, a reminder of how much his supposed best friend had fucked up. 

Instead, he decided to walk back inside, a newfound sense of purpose taking over. He was breaking up with her, in front of everyone, because she deserved to feel the same humiliation she had brought upon Spencer, and if this did anything towards achieving that, he would be happy.

As he approached the table, glaring, JJ, Emily and Garcia looked shocked, and Alexa looked confused.

“How could you… you absolute bitch! I can’t believe I dated you, you are absolutely disgusting! How could anyone do that to a 12 year old boy? Get away from me, or I swear to god…”

A look of realisation dawned on all of their faces, although his colleagues still looked shocked, and slightly confused, whilst Alexa seemed to just get angry.

“That was Spencer Reid? Really? How could a man like you want anything to do with someone like him?”

Suddenly his team mates no longer looked concerned, instead just angry, ranging from pissed off to murderous.

Before Derek even had a chance to say anything, his Baby Girl stood up. 

“I think you are going to leave now, because you don’t want to know what is gonna happen to you otherwise. Maybe every computer and phone you have ever owned will stop working? How does that sound?”

Alexa recoiled, and began to walk away from the four angry FBI agents.

“Well this has been a night,” Emily said, “Is Spencer okay?”

Derek realised that he hadn’t even checked up on Spence, and became alarmed, hoping that he was still in his car outside the club.

“I didn’t get the chance to talk to him. I realised who she was, and then I came straight back in to get rid of her.”

The girls turned and looked at him like he was an idiot.

“Really Morgan? Go and check if he is still there! Talk to him.” JJ instructed.

Feeling rather reprimanded, he headed back out into the cold night, looking for Spencer’s car. To his luck, he found it, still parked where it had been earlier. 

He paused for a minute, unsure of what to say if he could get Spencer to talk to him, because a million apologies would not be enough to make up for what he had done.

Knocking on the window of the locked car, he prayed that Spencer would hear him. It hurt him to see his friend looking the way he did, his head in his hands, crying. When the first few knocks went unanswered and likely unheard, he tried again, louder.

That seemed to draw Spencer out of his own mind. He gestured for Morgan to go away, but he stood his ground. Derek wasn’t leaving his Pretty Boy in such a state.

Spencer finally relented after a few more minutes, very aware of how stubborn Derek could be when he wanted to.

Before the door was even fully open, before he was in the car, Derek was apologising. The remorse he felt could not be put into words.

“Spencer, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even realise who she was, but she is gone now, you can come back. I’m unbelievably sorry.”

Derek paused for a moment, expecting Spencer to say something back, but instead a silence enveloped the car.

As he opened his mouth to continue on his tirade of apologies, Spencer cut him off.

His voice was rough and unsteady as he spoke.

“What did you see in her?” He asked. 

The question took Derek by surprise, his mouth opening slightly as he struggled to come up with an answer.

“I mean it Derek, what did you see in her?”

Spencer no longer sounded quite so sad, insistence and anger controlling his voice.

Derek remained silent, as no words came to his head. It was something akin to vanity, but not quite. She was beautiful, yes, and they’d look good together, but it was largely a distraction from other things. Things that he didn’t want to feel. Things that he couldn’t come to terms with feeling.

“What does she have that I don’t, Morgan?” He recoiled at the use of his last name, “She’s prettier, I know that, but surely I’m smarter, kinder? I know I’m far from perfect, but I’m better than her, surely.”

Derek’s thoughts were racing through his head, and he could barely keep up with them. What did that mean? Did Spencer just want to prove that she was horrible, and he shouldn’t have dated her, or was he saying something else, something that meant maybe he could finally dig up the feelings he had attempted to bury years ago.

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about you, that I have no right to be jealous, but it’s hard when you flaunt that you are dating a stupid bitch who I know I am better than!”

So Spencer did feel that way towards him. And he was right. As always. Derek would be better off with Spencer than with Alexa, or any of the other girls just like her that he had dated over the years. He just hated that it had taken hurting his friend to realise that.

“Why do you always have to be right Spencer? I am so sorry that I dated her, that I forgot what you told me, that I never connected the dots. I just saw a chance, a chance to make my life easier, by dating a woman, rather than ever even trying to get the person I actually want. And it hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“You should go back to the club. The girls are probably wondering where you are. I’m just going to head home.”

“No, Pretty Boy, come on. You should come back in. The girls are really worried about you. But before that, I want to try something. Tell me no, and I’ll stop, but I think we both want this.”

Derek slowly leaned in, giving Spencer plenty to back out, pull away, but their lips connected.

When they finally pulled away, a comfortable silence rested over the car.

“How about we head back in now, before the girls come looking for us,” Derek said, and they laughed, before leaving the car, and walking to the club again, this time, hand in hand.

[mcshiiin]

Title: A pair of scissors, hair, and tears.

Sypnosis: Midnight mayhap scarred Kuroo for the rest of his life.

Pairing: Kuroo Tesurou × Fem!reader

[A/n: This is pretty self-indulgent and in 3rd person POV]

Grappling with the celestial world, Kuroo is trying to pry himself from sleep. There's a vivid image of a humanoid with an owl head and a gun in its hand whilst the muzzle is directed to a mop of thick, long hair. A bang soon then erupted as the scenery blurs into a dark, empty bedroom without Y/N beside him.

"Hun," he called out, rubbing away the dreamy state left in his eyes.

""Y/n...?"

"Oi... Y/n...?"

Greeted with nothing but silence, Kuroo climbs down the warm bed and starts to look for his beloved. A soft whine fell from his lips as the icy tiles beneath his bare feet snaked upwards. His brief glance towards the analog clock told him how deep the night is yet his kitten seems to be alive and wandering.

"Where have you been hmm?"

Muttering words to himself here and there, saying what would be Y/n doing at this hour when she's the biggest fan of sleep and loves to cherish the comfort their bed gives.

"Was she hungry?"

Almost immediately, he descended down the stairs and shuffles towards the kitchen. He hoped to see Y/n in front of the stove, flipping pancakes and swaying her hips ever so lightly but there's no even a pancake batter to begin with.

He pouts while his tired, golden eyes scans the whole room. Following a faint trail, he found himself near the bathroom, where light is pooling from the door opened ajar. Silent as the night, he pushed the door, wide enough to fit his face and take a peak.

A mumble escaped from him, "Y/n?"

Serenity dusted every nook and cranny of Y/n's figure, illimunating your features with an ethereal glow. With a sleight of hand, chaos ensued. Kuroo feels the looming darkness reverberating from her placid features. Her red comb in hand while a pair of scissors professionally placed in between her fingers. Slowly sectioning her hair, she's acting on impulse.

And Kuroo will be just watching, marvelling at her.

A delighted smile is dangling lazily on his lips. Y/n's angelic face shows a look of determination, dainty lips pursed upwards as her eyebrows almost connecting together all while carefully cutting herr bangs straight. She stood there, although doing a mundane task managed to take Kuroo's breath away.

He thinks, no, he proved that her resolved is more obstinate than his blocks. He never saw her falter, she never broke down. Y/n were always strong for the both of them.

But now he will.

"Hmm? Hahahaha."

There it is, the osbcure taste of coffee at the end of his tongue. The bitterness in her laugh poked through his senses.

"I... didn't know I could get uglier."

Y/n hates mirrors. She avoids looking at them at all cost, the reflection of herself is too much for her. She would pat her head right now if she could. The amount of courage she have for standing in front of the mirror is really admirable. But at the same time, she wishes to slap herself too, for the monstrosity she brought upon herself.

An oppresive wind billows against Y/n as her luscious hair dances behind her. She continues to stand tall, proud and confident. Taking a half step, her knees buckled. She was quick to recover and regained her composure. Closing her eyes, she's hell bent on crossing the hurricane.

As she take a step, she finally falls down the ground with a loud thud.

"You're too ugly, you can't do anything right."

"Clumsy bitch. Can't cook, can't be dependable."

"Look at you, your face, your body, everything about you is wrong."

"You're not enough. Never will be."

"He'll leave you soon. You're worthless."

"He'll find another girl who's not as shallow as you. You're not irreplacable, you know?"

Y/n's eyes burned fiercely. The flames licking away her self restraint, slowly and steadily. Badly wanting to shove her hand against the filthy mouth of her tormentor, she can't do it to herself.

They keep on piling up, one after another. A heavy baggage she never asked to have. Her shoulders sagged, posture hunched, and eyes sunken. Any moment she is to shatter.

Five...

Four...

Kuroo'a jaw tightened. Fist shaking with intense emotions he had yet to feel. His girl, his Y/n, crestfallen and he doesn't know. Her mind must be a whirlwind of sharp knives circling around, clashing with her flesh often thay makes her bleed. Yet he wonders where the hell did these come from?

Three...

Two...

A low growl echoed from her throat.

One...

Fat, glimmering tear drops roll down her cheeks, falling deep into the abyss of sorrow. Crying silently, hands trapping the slightest of sob seeping from her lips. Kuroo might wake up, she frighteningly thought. Little did she know that Kuroo stands before her naked glory. The raw scars sitting above her old ones, her insecurities emblazoned across the hectares of her body. The naked truth of her personality she unknowingly unraveled before him.

Tesurou just want to hold her. Dress her in a special clothe called love. Smear a cream of assurance on her scars; he wants to be there and witness them fade until there's nothing left.

But vulnerabilty is a double edged sword. It can reduce the both of them to pieces. He's scared to lose himself, especially Y/n, in the process of healing.

Yet she can feel it. The tangent touch outlining her frail body. Almost feverish, close to crushing her soul. Tender kisses were let loose from his lips, wandering around her neck. Her inaudible wimpers are now gone for they're loud sobs bouncing off the four walls of their bathroom.

"I love you. We're in this thing together, Y/n."

[A/n: Hehehe I'm not fluent in English so you have probably encountered some grammatical errors but thank you if you reached this part! I just want everybody to feel loved and accepted for who they are. Again, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this!]

[httphonsool]

red velvet cookies

synopsis; in which you would love to stop loving min yoongi, but those damned red velvet cookies are not helping

word count: 5, 127

time taken: 5 hours

warnings: angst, heartache, unrequited love I suppose, roommate!Yoongi, Student!Yoongi, I suppose there’s some Fboy!Yoongi if you wanna think about it like that and there’s implied smut so beware aha

notes;Okay, so this took me like five hours from yesterday and today altogether and I guess I’m happy with the result, lemme know what you think and feel free to suggest ideas for more imagines/one-shots/short series :)))

I’ll try and make a masterlist or something to keep up with all the fics

-

It was never soft with him, no, interacting with this man had always been blunt and harsh as if you were treading on fragile ice, just waiting for things to come crashing down around you, at certain times you felt like the tension was building up; maybe today was the day it would all blow up, after all, the relationship the two of you had built throughout the year and six months you had been living together was insecure, vulnerable, the little interaction between the two of you precious and unreliable, yet you still yearned for more, though you knew what you wanted would not be given to you; that you were being selfish and greedy, you knew should have respected it for what it was, but the heart always wants more, you couldn’t blame your heart for that, right?

All you wanted was to have a���stronger relationship with this man, you wanted the precious, fragile interactions to grow with this man- this man that was strange, a mystery to the naked eye, a man who you would only know if you were around him more than often, and thank God you could say that you were around him more than anyone else, this man had mastered the act of hating you, precisely just because he did, and it hurt more than anything to know that.

He would come back from classes (He’s majoring in Music Production, another beautiful reason you want him closer to you), completely ignoring you all the while, even when you said hello and asked him how his day had been, especially when you ask him how his day’s been, all you want is for him to complain about his day to you God, you would give anything, anything to listen to his voice, his soothing voice.

His voice, that deserves millions and billions of poems and literature written about it on its own, to you: it’s perfection, it calms you; reminds you of how the waves crash on rocks, listening to it makes you giddy like a high school girl, makes you feel like you’re floating in clouds, like you’re frolicking through a meadow with the love of your life. His voice brings you comfort, more comfort than any Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream could ever bring you. My God, you remember the first time you heard him laugh, yet it wasn’t because of you, no, how could it? No, it was that stupid, dumb, sorority girl: you were sitting on the couch binge-watching Teen Wolf (because who doesn’t love Stiles Stilinski, Dylan O’Brien was hot), he came in with his dear old Stephanie into your slightly spacious apartment which somehow you’ve managed to afford, she made some dumb joke about you about how she honestly doesn’t know how he manages to live with you because you disgust him and he laughed, very hard, he laughed because he was drowning in the way this Becky girl was basically made for him, had the same sense of humour, perfect in looks (whereas you disgusted him for some reason) and you were drowning because your heart wrenched, no, it ached because this, for you, confirmed you’d never be able to make him happy like that, for God’s sake he didn’t even like you, he thought you were disgusting, the definition of disgusting, as good old Stephanie had said. You couldn’t be mad at him though, how could you? How could you when that laugh gave you life? Dragged you out of your darkest nightmare, filled you with pure joy on your worst day? Though, you still felt like complete and utter shit due to her comment, all was made better when you found several tubs of Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream in the freezer, you didn’t know whether Yoongi had brought it for himself (you assumed he had) or whether it was for you, because you had been crying earlier in your room, although, you were hoping no one had heard you as you had been embarrassed enough in the moment, you took the ice cream anyway because even if it made Yoongi angry that you stole what was his, at least he would notice you, at least he would acknowledge you for the first time in weeks.

☆

The second time you heard him laugh was when he was talking to his mother, ah, his mother, at least she acknowledged you, you remember the first time she met you whilst visiting her beloved Yoongi, she had brought you red velvet cookies, your favourite, you didn’t know whether she knew those were your favourite but it did make you feel as if you were loved for once, since Yoongi wasn’t capable of loving someone like you, and God damn, those cookies were better than the store bought ones you always got, after a while, his mother’s visits became more frequent and not only for her son, but for you too, your frequent ‘Mrs. Min’ became ‘Eomma,’ because she felt that you were basically her child at this point, and you were hoping, praying, begging that this would maybe also bring you closer to this Min Yoongi man that had claimed your heart- no, had claimed soul, your heart and your body and mind completely and utterly because of the way he acted around others, it may not have been healthy but it was the whole truth, one that would always haunt you.

You don’t know when you fell for him, to be honest you didn’t want to, your entire life you were trying to best to stay away from boys. In your mind, all they did was cause trouble: you’d seen countless women in your life crying because a man had broken their heart, you remember seeing your best friend, your best friend, a girl whom you’d known for almost your whole life, crying because her boyfriend had cheated on her, she claimed she loved him, poor soul thought it was her fault, that it was because she wasn’t good enough and you never understood that until you met Yoongi, sure you dated other guys, but you never dated someone for longer than a month, claiming they’ll break your heart, which is a joke now that you look at how long you’ve been living with Yoongi, how long you’ve been pining after him with love that you cannot even begin to describe.

☆

You don’t know what it was or how it started, maybe it was the way he was so warm to his friends, the way he would take care of them, often letting them sleep over if they were drunk or inviting them over and cooking for them just because they hadn’t eaten, maybe it was the way he would take to his mother every night before bed and laugh and talk to her with so much respect and love, maybe it was the small things he did: how he would leave a painkiller somewhere near you every single time you complained about your headache or any pain in general, or like how sometimes you and your friend would go out and get drunk (usually you would drink with the pain of loving Yoongi on your mind) and you would wake up with hangover shots by your bedside, or like the time you fell asleep crying on the couch and you woke up in your bed comfortably tucked in, but no, oh God no, don’t mistake those small gestures for his care, no he does that because he’s a good person, you know that, you know he probably does it for all the girls he’s dated (there’s a lot of them, and that proves he’s more than capable of loving anyone except you, and that really fricken hurts).

Maybe that’s why you’re sitting in front of him on the kitchen counter right now, observing him as he eats.

“Hey,” You smile at him; you know there won’t be a reply, at least not one longer than a second. He briefly looks into your eyes, a stone hard expression blooming on his face.

“How was your day?” You ask, honestly, why do you bother? Oh, right, because you’re in love with him.

Stupid girl, still trying for him even after all this time, you think.

“It was okay,” Hold on a minute, you think you just made history; he’s actually talking to you.

Maybe it was just a really good day, your thoughts wander.

“Was class fun?” You ask hesitantly, you could cut the tension with a knife at this point, all parties could feel it. You don’t get a reply this time, but you’re satisfied with the fact that he ever replied at all.

You still can’t comprehend how you could love him this much, how you could bend your back, break your bones for a man who has the capability to love anyone but you, you still can’t comprehend why you still make him breakfast when you’re leaving early for class, why you still bake red velvet cookies (his mother gave you the recipe) and make loads of extras for him because all of a sudden since you first met his mother it became his favourite as well (at least, that’s according to his mother), you can’t comprehend why you still make him lunch and dinner while he’s out, why you’re always playing with his dog because sometimes Yoongi is busy out somewhere (you don’t know where, you never know where) maybe with a girl, and his dog needs the attention, you do it because you love him, also because you love his dog, Holly, but you’ve come to realise Min Holly and Min Yoongi have claimed your heart completely, clutching it with a grasp that was squeezing the life out of you because my God did you love Yoongi, and at times you wish you had never even spared a glance at him, that you had ignored him and taken up the offer of the date that a male friend of yours had offered, because ignoring people seems to be working out fricking amazingly for him.

So now, as you sit on your bed after the hopeful kitchen situation, you can’t help but think about how screwed you are, because today marks a year and six months of living with Yoongi and yet you’re still not done with him, not over him like you wish you would be, but wait- there was a way was there not? You had been offered a date the other night with one of your close guy friends: turns out he’d liked you for almost a year now and oh how you wished you had just fallen for him instead and not Goddamn Yoongi, but it’s okay because you told him you’d get back to him.

And get back to him you will.

“Hey, Baekhyun? I don’t know if you remembered but…”

☆

You’re standing in front of Yoongi’s bedroom door, ready to tell him you’ll be out for the night and to tell him that he needs to wash the dishes while you’re out because you’ll be staying out late, of course, he doesn’t need to know you’re going on a date, but for some reason you just want this to be your last attempt at him, you want him to be bothered by the fact that you’re on a date, you want him to stop you from going on that date, of course, you know it’s ridiculous, because Min Yoongi doesn’t like girls like you, actually no that’s wrong; Min Yoongi doesn’t like you, as in you specifically. You turn the door handle, the ice cold material burning a hole through your hands, your whole body shaking at the sight of him because WOW Min Yoongi was so beautiful it was angelic, his perfect silver hair balanced and rooted on his head, his golden skin glistening in the dim glow of his ceiling light, his eyes, usually stone cold when he stares at you but right now as he’s working on some kind of song with headphones in a small smile planted on his face, he looks content- something you could never, and I mean never make him, because remember: Min Yoongi, doesn’t like you, as in you specifically.

He can feel your stare on him burning holes through his head, and you swear you’ve never seen him whip his neck to look at you that quick.

“What is it?” He asks, wow, look at that he speaks once more; you smile as you reflect on it.

“I just wanted to let you know I was going on a date, so would you mind doing the dishes because I’ll probably be out late,” you answer hesitantly.

Nothing, he says nothing, he just nods and turns away, and you’ve never felt shittier than you do now because damn, not even you going on a date all prettied up can make him interested in you, and that’s when you know for sure: Min Yoongi really doesn’t care about you, and that was the final stab in the gut, except the stab came with pain, absolutely excruciating pain as if you had broken your ribs and shattered your collar bones but multiply that by a million.

Min Yoongi doesn’t love you back, and he never will.

☆

Your date wasn’t special, it wasn’t even close to being good, maybe it was because you were still wholly devoted to loving Yoongi who you just couldn’t get rid of, Min Yoongi was like the annoying piece of gum that sticks to the back of your shoe and takes a while to get off, the only difference is he won’t fricking get off, and you’re tired of it, because you could have moved on with beautiful Baekhyun, Baekhyun who claimed to have liked you for almost a year, Baekhyun who could have loved you and cherished you more than Yoongi ever could, because Baekhyun was showing you that he liked you, loved you even, but if Yoongi didn’t love you, could anyone, really?

You didn’t know what it was, why it was, even, but the whole mood was off the entire night, it wasn’t Baekhyun’s fault no, no, it was Yoongi’s, because the entire time you’d been talking to Baekhyun, all you’d been thinking about was Yoongi’s gummy, wholesome smile, how Baekhyun could never compare to him, because Yoongi was Yoongi, Yoongi was the man you were in love with, the man you would break yourself for because you just loved him that much even though you really, truly wish you didn’t, but the heart wants what it wants, and your heart really, really wants Yoongi.

But now, this date had brewed up a new emotion inside of you: anger. You were angry because of your inability to stop loving Yoongi, you were angry because Yoongi always would and always will occupy your thoughts when he’s not around, angry because why, why couldn’t you move on? You thought this would work, that maybe Baekhyun could shift the entire centre of your world, you thought maybe he was the trigger you needed to pull to finally be able to move on, apparently not so because even after a date with Baekhyun at some fancy restaurant where you did fancy things like drink wine and talk about your day (something you never did with Yoongi, because Yoongi didn’t care), you were still deep down the rabbit hole which was named Loving Yoongi, because that man had claimed you whether you wanted it or not, whether he cared or not, you were in love.

And, boy, you really wish you weren’t.

☆

So now, as you stand outside your apartment door as Baekhyun kisses your cheek and wishes you a good night, you can’t help but wish that maybe… just maybe Yoongi will talk to you about it, maybe there was still a chance, though you know that there was absolutely no chance of you and Yoongi at this point, but the alcohol you’ve consumed throughout the night is blurring your thoughts and even though it was only three glasses of wine you can’t help but not think straight, and unfortunately the alcohol acts for you when you walk in and see Yoongi surrounded by empty bottles of alcohol, eyes rimmed with red, tears streaking his cheeks whilst holding an almost empty bottle of wine and the first thing you want to do is run forwards and cradle your poor baby in your arms even though you know you shouldn’t because he won’t want that but, surprisingly, as your drunken state forces you to take him into your arms and stroke your hands through his hair, his soft, luscious hair, he easily complies, letting you take him in, sobs wracking his body whilst your heart wrenches and God, you felt selfish to even think of it because your baby was hurting so much but you think you’re hurting more than him because it’s like someone’s just twisted a knife in your gut but worse. So, hushed whispers are exchanged along with words of support because he’s Yoongi, your Yoongi, and you’re in love with him and you just want to help.

“Di-did you have fun?” He’s still crying and his usual soothing voice that brings you comfort is now bringing you pain,

“God, it doesn’t matter, what’s wrong, please tell me,” You’re crying now too, because seeing the man you’re in love with, seeing your Min Yoongi, the man that barely ever smiles at you, crying is making you hurt more than any other action he’s done.

“I hope you had fun, ___, and I’m sorry, you told me to do the dishes but I-I haven’t, I’m sorry,” His sobs get louder with each words and your heart is aching, no, it’s shattering because your boy is crying, he’s broken and drunk and you’ve never seen him like this, and it’s terrifying you to death.

“Yoongi,” you whisper softly into his ear, “I don’t care about the dishes, I care about you, you stupid boy, I’ve always cared about you, wasn’t it obvious?” Your head’s telling you shouldn’t be saying this, you know you shouldn’t but here you are still spilling your guts out to him, whilst he’s drunk, I mean it’s not bad, at least this way maybe he’ll forget it, ha, if only you knew.

“___, I can’t seem to do anything right,” He’s stopped crying now, now there are just silent tears trickling down his beautiful, angelic face, “I try my best for you, ___, I buy you that Cookie Dough Ice Cream when I know you’re down, and I hate to tell you because I know you love her but my mother doesn’t always make you the red velvet cookies you love so much, no, the last few times, I was the one that made them because I know how much you love them, and God, I love them too now because I feel like that’s the only part of you I deserve to have, you always make me extras and it always manages to make me happy, but I can’t even say thank you to you for it because then I’ll get attached t-to you, to be honest I’m already addicted to you, but I can’t get deeper than I already am, I know that, but I’m such a fuck up, I don’t even deserve to be within three meters of you, I always used to tell my mother about you, you know? She wanted to hear about the girl who had me acting like I was fifteen again, and-and you know all those girls I brought around, well they were just to prove that I was capable of loving someone, but yet you still don’t want me, no, you want that guy that obviously treats you right, I mean, I don’t blame you, I deserve this,” My god, wasn’t that a shock, yet even after all of that all your brain could do was-

“I love you, Min Yoongi.”

And that’s what started it; the moment his lips met yours it was like being stuck in the middle of a fire, you wouldn’t say you felt fireworks like they do in every cliché romance novel because you knew even in your drunken state that it was better than fireworks, of course, no, this was like a bomb filled with passion and pure bliss and exploded in your body, he tasted like alcohol and cinnamon and sugar and all the sweet, blissful things in the world, he tasted like something you had been missing your entire life: the secret ingredient to your recipe you called unrequited love, he penetrated your senses until you couldn’t breathe anymore, you were drunk, yes, but even more drunk and high off of him. Things escalate fast, so fast that the next thing you know is that you’re making out with Min Yoongi, the man you love the Man you will always love, and then he’s slipping off your dress, leaving not much else to the imagination, pulling off your panties and-

“I want to lose my virginity to you,” you spill out.

“Are you sure?” He asks, “We can stop, don’t feel forced,”

“Yes,” Ha, should’ve said no.

☆

When you wake up the next morning he’s gone, you don’t remember much of the night, just the important parts, like how you’re no longer a virgin, and most definitely do you remember that you lost it to Min Yoongi, but now he’s gone, the place beside you where you were one thousand percent sure he slept was now cold, your blood curdles, because before you felt angry, angry at Min Yoongi for capturing your heart, but now? Now you just feel like a whore.

He doesn’t care about you, remember?

Of course, this was your fault, you should have said no to him, but how could you? How could you ever say no to Min Yoongi? But you should have, because now you’re left with a hangover and no virginity with hangover shots on the bedside next to you (for God’s sake Min Yoongi, why couldn’t you be a complete asshole for once in your life and let you down completely) and the only thing you remember is coming back from a date with Baekhyun and sleeping with Yoongi, nothing more, nothing less, just those two things.

Hours pass and there’s no other sign of life in the apartment other than you, it feels cold without Yoongi, yet the heating has been turned all the way up, ha, just another reason to need him back, right?

Days pass and Yoongi isn’t back yet, there’s no sign of him and you’ve been skipping classes because you can’t deal with the emptiness in your heart, the hole in the shape of Min Yoongi expanding every time you thought of him.

Exactly a week later Yoongi’s back except he’s not alone, he’s with a girl and that’s the last straw for you, you’re done with it because you’d have thought that since he took your fucking virginity he would have at least talked to you about that but no, he decides that he should bring some girl back home, back home as in where he lives where surprisingly the girl who’s virginity he took also lived.

The girl was gorgeous, she was the exact opposite of you, and that’s how you were always reminded he would never want you, because he only likes girls that aren’t you, remember?

The night he comes back you find freshly baked red velvet cookies waiting on the counter along with good old Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream, something vague comes back to you, something about Mrs. Min not being the one that bakes the cookies…but that’s stupid, absolutely ridiculous, and you know that you’re just whipping up things in your head for no reason like usual, because the only person other than Mrs. Min who knows how to make red velvet cookies is you, because you love making them for yourself, of course, but you mainly made them because Min Yoongi loves red velvet cookies.

Red velvet cookies are sweet, they’re soft, vibrant and taste all the more brilliant, a bit like Yoongi, of course, he treated you like you were a bitch on heat, left you without a single word for a week after stealing your virginity, something so precious that you decided to give away in your intoxicated state, but now that you’ve had a taste of him you want him all the more.

You’ve come to realise that loving Min Yoongi is like eating red velvet cookies, you have them all the time; you love them yet you’re not sick of them, you just want more and more and more because you’re greedy like that, because you’re selfish and you know that, but it’s also his favourite as well as yours, maybe that’s why you’re still fucking stuck on it, but it’s the only part of him you know, so how could you? How could you just stop, it’s important for you and Min Yoongi whether you realise it or not you’re both connected by some stupid cookies that you both love, it sounds so stupid but you know it’s the only chance you have because you’ll only ever be his roommate, that’s all you are to him, all you are to the girls he brings around.

Weeks pass and you watch him bring around more and more girls every day, you don’t know what he hopes to achieve by it, maybe he just wants companionship, but you feel like you’re missing something, something you should know but you can’t quite grasp it, but as the days go on and on you realise he’s stopped his fuckboy routine and now there’s just one girl coming around every single day, and boy, if you thought he broke you before? Well, then, you’re absolutely shattered to pieces now, he seems to be serious about her, I mean, if he wasn’t she wouldn’t be coming around every single day would she? You wouldn’t be hearing her annoying, high-pitched voice, would you? You were so stupid to think that maybe he would stop his maniacal antic and actually talk to you, no, you were more than stupid. That’s what triggered the countless nights of crying and mental breakdowns, because you were so done with him, except you weren’t, you were a broken record, stuck on the same thing, the same man, over and over again because you couldn’t understand the fact that this was it, this was his way of telling you to fuck off, to stop trying, almost as if he was holding up two long middle fingers up at you every time you would hear him and her at night.

☆

00:53 a.m.

Here you are sitting on your bedroom floor and crying about your life, well to be exact Min Yoongi the man who had claimed your life, you’ve heard the door to your bedroom open but you don’t care at this point, you’re an absolute mess because you’ve really fucked yourself up, and how are you now going to fix it? Warmth spreads through your body at a simple touch on the small of your back, you know it’s him, you felt it before throughout the night you slept with him; you wanted to memorise every single print of him because it felt like you were living on borrowed time in that moment.

“___,” You hear him whisper.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, am I being too loud, I can go cry somewhere else if you need me to,” You cry out, sobs wracking your body, squirming and scrambling on the ground, rising to see an absolutely exhausted Min Yoongi behind you, holding a crumpled up piece of paper in his hand that he’d obviously tried to flatten, and you realise this is the most emotion he’s ever shown you directly whilst he’s sober and you feel like you’ve just earned the world, because to you that’s what he is, he’s your world.

“No, no, no, please don’t, I just, I heard you crying and I wanted to give you this, I thought you deserved to know, I thought maybe you could figure it out,” he passes you the crumpled up piece of paper, Red Velvet Cookies scrawled on the top in rushed handwriting. Looking down at the writing you realise they’re lyrics, lyrics about a girl who loves red velvet cookies, lyrics about a girl who he can’t stand the thought of living without, it confuses you, it truly does, because Min Yoongi doesn’t like you, as in you specifically remember?

“I know, I treated you like shit after we…you know, but I just wanted to let you know you’re always on my mind, though I told you that night and I’m not sure you even remember, it’s just I-” and then he’s kissing you, that same feeling of fiery passion burning in you, you can taste those stupid red velvet cookies on him, there’s no taste of alcohol this time much to your admiration, this is all him, and you can’t get enough of it, so you deepen the kiss, testing the surface waters, tasting the sweetness of him, the cinnamon and the sugar you remember tasting on him that night, and all of a sudden it’s all coming back to you, all of it, everything, the confession, the way he told you he loved you whilst saw the most intimate parts of you, everything and when you pull away, it’s like the most calming, satisfying aura of bliss settles over you both, leaning your forehead against his.

“I left you because I was scared, I thought you told me you loved me because you were drunk as well, and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have slept with you whilst we were drunk, especially not when you were still a virgin-”

“Yoongi, I don’t regret it, I wanted it, even now, I don’t regret it, though I did regret when I thought you left me and you started bringing those girls around,” You told him.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to prove-” you can see the tears building up in his eyes, pain covering his face.

“I love you,” you admit.

“Even after the way I treated you?” He asks

“Always,”

“I love you more than that,” His adorable gummy smile appearing.

“Not possible,” a small smile starts growing on your face.

“Very much so possible,” He pauses, a small giggle leaving his mouth, “Hey, ___, wanna eat some red velvet cookies?” ah, of course, the God darn cookies that now meant more to both of you.

“Of course,” You say.

[foslad]

Almost Too Good (A Chris Evans Story): Part 21 - 3/3

A/N: I’M NOT DEAD! After months of saving, I finally invested in a new laptop and FINALLY this chapter is here. It turned out longer than I expected but I knew I had a lot to wrap up in it. Wow-ee, the love I received on my last post was beyond overwhelming and I appreciate it so very much, thank you, thank you, a million times thank you!

For anyone who is still here for this almost two year old story where the characters are still stuck back in 2016 because I’m trash, thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Only one more to go! </3

There was a quaint balcony area that overlooked the gardens of the venue and whilst most took the space as an opportunity to sneak a crafty cigarette, I managed to find a small little bench away from everyone to just unwind. The sounds of LA’s distant sirens drowned out the low hum from the music inside; save for when it was freed every time someone passed in and out of the doors.

I rested my palm on my ribcage - silently cursing myself for picking such a tight dress. God, I could barely breathe in this thing.

It’d been a few minutes and the air was beginning to bite at my bare skin, but I still couldn’t bring myself to move back inside. My thoughts were all but consumed by flashbacks to that night and all it entailed; the excitement that lay within my stomach as anticipation grew at surprising Alex, the deathly silence of our apartment that ultimately drew me to look for him, the turning of the bedroom doorknob and the horror’s that lay behind it…

I shut my eyes and breathed the crisp, night air deeply. In through the nose and out through the mouth until I felt calm again.

I let my eyes flutter open and willingly allowed myself to be distracted by my surroundings.

No more than ten feet in front of me, I could see David Spade and his much younger date cracking up at a story that Sarah Silverman and Michael Sheen were telling; all four puffing away on cigarettes. They all looked so happy and relaxed in each other’s company, all of them having a seemingly great night.

Childishly, I pouted just looking at them. It seemed unfair.

Why was I out here being miserable whilst everyone else around me had a good time? It was exhausting to think of the countless hours of my life I had wasted on wracking my brains and feebly attempting to discover what was wrong with me; what I could’ve possibly done to deserve such a disservice in life at the hands of someone who swore that they “loved” me.

In front of me, Sarah had perched her head on Michael’s shoulder and it was then that I noticed something different about her. She wasn’t her like public persona at all in private. Instead, she was mellow and cuddly and doing everything in her power to get closer to Michael without it being over the top.

She was in love.

I sighed to myself. God, I was so good at dwelling on the bad. Yes, I was mad about the events of today but apparently that’s all I was capable of. From the moment I had arrived in LA today, all the way up until now, it just seemed like punch after punch.

But, realistically, tonight wasn’t supposed to be about what Alex did to me; or to “her” for that matter.

It was supposed to be about Chris. Sweet, adorable, sometimes clueless, Chris. The man who had unwittingly taken my broken little heart and sewed it back together again and made it feel better than it ever had.

It was supposed to be about how, despite my glaringly obvious insecurities, Chris was still out here introducing me to the people he surrounded himself with every day and the people he respected the most in life.

It was supposed to be about basking in his company after a month long absence and dreaming about never letting it go again.

Shutting my eyes once more, I melted into the familiar warmth that visions of Chris often brought me. I knew that the longer I was out here, the more he would start to worry and naturally start to look for me.

Taking a moment or two to centre myself, I eventually opened my eyes and leapt a little in my seat; letting out an involuntary yelp in the process.

Staring ahead, I immediately wished I could shut the world out again and go back to the happy place I had just created because, just my luck, there “she” was again; that devil red dress hugging those irresistible curves - that tumbling brown hair and those captivating hazel eyes just staring at me.

I slowly pressed my palms against the stone of the bench under me; clutching so hard, it wouldn’t surprise me if I drew blood. Pushing myself up, I waited until the very last second to raise my head and acknowledge that I was now standing level with her.

I didn’t say a word, choosing to give her a “What? What more could you possibly want with me?” look.

To my complete astonishment, however, it was Chelsea who quickly initiated the first steps of conversation. ‘Hi… Adrian.’

Instinctively, I crossed my arms and remained silent. I didn’t want to “talk” to her; not now, not ever. All I really wanted to do was push past her and go back inside and be with Chris and do everything in my power to keep him from her and her man-eating ways. However immature that seemed, I didn’t care.

Chelsea nodded her head lightly and drew her lips into a nervous thin smile as she accepted my reaction as fair. So she should.

We stood there awkwardly for another few seconds as she attempted to work out what to say next, her hands giving away her worries. Curiously, her next move was to take another step towards me and speak out in a low voice.

‘I’m not here to cause a scene,’ she began, briefly looking over her shoulder to check nobody was eavesdropping, ‘I just really wanted to talk to you.’

I stood there staring at her, wary of what she would have to say to me and wishing I was anywhere else but here. Most of all, still really, really not wanting to talk to her.

Chelsea signalled back towards the bench, insinuating that we both take a seat. I looked back and forth between her and the bench before going against my better judgement and perching myself on the very edge of it; still annoyed. Still wary. The sass in my leg cross as I sat down sent shock-waves, I was sure of it.

‘I really don’t know how to put into words everything I want to say to you exactly, and I’m so appreciative of you hearing me out. So, I guess I’ll just start with… I’m sorry.’

You know what, bitch I-… oh.

‘I know you’ve probably spent the last two years hating me because, funnily enough, so have I.’ She continued, shuffling towards me a little, her face solemn. ‘And-and I know this sounds like complete horseshit, believe me I know, but I’m really not that kind of girl Adrian. I don’t go around stealing people’s boyfriends or-or ruining relationships for fun. That isn’t who I am.’

… oh.

‘Alex had me under the impression that you guys weren’t on good terms, going through a separation, that you’d moved out…’ She listed, her voice growing more desperate with every syllable she uttered. ‘God, Adrian, I would have NEVER gone there if I knew the truth.’

My silence wasn’t by choice anymore, I was truly taken aback at her words. Obviously, I would never know if there was actual truth to them. I didn’t know her. We were never formally introduced before I caught her naked in my bed with my ex-boyfriend. I didn’t know what kind of person she was and whether or not she was just saying all of this to make herself feel better or if she really was sorry.

My train of thought soon overpowered her nasally voice and I found myself tuning out; only ever picking out little notes of audio in an otherwise soundless head space.

‘I always hoped I would run into you so that I could explain…’

‘I ended it that very second after you walked out!’

‘…and, more than anything, I’m sorry you lost Alex over it.’

‘Oh.’ That last one was audible on my part. Her final words had hit me like a train.

You know, it’s strange. As much as that night had haunted me, the lessons I’d learnt over the past few months had taught me that… it was never about losing Alex.

It was about losing myself.

Yes, I was left completely heartbroken by the situation, but not from “losing Alex”. I didn’t miss him. I didn’t crave him or what we had. I spent six years years with the guy, and it borderline scared me how, in so many ways, the few months I’d spent with Chris fulfilled me more than any length of time I’d ever spent with Alex.

And that was the revelation of the century for me.

So, right there and then, on a bench, in the middle of Los Angeles, at an event with a bunch of familiar strangers, I let go of the past that I had let run my life for so long. I sent a grateful Chelsea off with the promise of keeping the deed she had done to myself and with a safe mind frame that none of her new co-stars would know about what she had done to me.

Was it too nice of me? Probably. But I was too tired to keep this charade going. I had finally had my epiphany moment.

As Chelsea walked away, I noticed someone brush past her as they exited through the door. I was quickly joined by another presence, one that clasped their hands together and draped them over the side of the balcony and sighed heavily.

‘You sure you’re alright?’ Chris frowned, ‘I feel like there’s somethin’ you’re not telling me here.’

‘Everything’s fine, Evans. I was actually just about to come back inside.’ I insisted, rubbing his hand on the wall. ‘I’m just a little tired, that’s all. It’s been a long day, what with the flight and everything…’

‘You wanna go?’ He offered immediately, ‘I can call for the car?’

‘No, that’s okay. I’m happy to stay for a little longer,’ I smiled, touched at his thoughtfulness, ‘the fresh air has helped a lot.’

‘If you’re sure. Let me know if you change your mind, ‘kay?’

I nodded and Chris flashed me that trademark goofy smile before leaning in for a kiss.

Now more than ever, I wanted a kiss so badly. I wanted to be reassured and cuddled and desired. But I had to remind him that touching me was a privilege, not a right. And earlier, at his house, he’d fucked up. So, to my complete displeasure, I dodged his kiss and gave him cheek instead.

What made me laugh was Chris’ quick acceptance of it too, albeit with a deep sigh. ‘I’m still in trouble, huh?’

‘Oh yeah. Deep, deep, trouble.’ I teased, laying a small kiss on his cheek and accepting his outstretched arm to wander back inside.

On our way in, I clocked Sarah and Michael again and smiled; squeezing Chris’ arm a little tighter in contentment.

-

I stumbled up the hall, attempting to take my shoes off as I went. I could hear Chris start to converse with Dodger in the living room, trying his best to excite him about going to pee in the backyard instead of an actual walk.

Oof, it’d been a long night.

After much fiddling, I managed to zip my dress down to the bottom of my back before ultimately deciding to just let it sit there until I could hang it up properly. In the mean time, I walked over to my suitcase and pulled out the boxes for my jewellery and set them down on Chris’ dresser.

After only a brief moment of solitude, the click of the bedroom door shutting resounded in the silence and I subtly peeked behind to see Chris begin to take his suit jacket off and roll up his shirt sleeves.

‘So, about earlier…’ He started, drawing closer. For a brief moment, my “subtle peeking” had turned to staring as I watched his fingers roll the fabric up his arms.

‘What about it?’ I replied knowingly, turning around and returning my attention to the jewellery.

Within seconds, Chris’ chest was dangerously close to my back, but not quite enough that we were touching.

Determined to not be distracted, I continued to face away and take my rings off; despite the fact that his cologne was now filling my nostrils with it’s pleasing scent. As gently as I could, I took a deep inhale and closed my eyes.

Don’t give in, Adrian…

… Not yet, at least.

‘I really don’t know what I can say to make it up to you,’ Chris’ voice vibrated behind me, catching me off guard despite his closeness, ‘except for, I’m an idiot. And I’m sorry. Truly, very, sorry Adrian.’

I shivered slightly as the tips of his fingers barely grazed themselves over the strap of my dress. The last ring of mine came off with a thud as it landed down onto the others.

Still with only the slightest of touches, his fingers danced their way down the exposed track of my undone zip until they reached the middle of my back, where they walked forward. Now under the fabric, Chris laid his palm out flat on my rib-cage and ever so gently tugged me back.

Bending his neck, his breath enveloped my ear, ‘So, with that that being said. What if I told you, I’m willing to do anything to make this up to you?’  

I felt my stomach star to pool as my eyes rolled back at the sensation of his tender touch, my voice now mimicking my shaky limbs.

‘Don’t say that…’

‘Why not?’ He feigned, his lips resting above my pulse point.

‘Because, you’re making me weak.’ I confessed with a croaky little laugh before lazily laying my own hand over the one hidden in my dress.

‘Oh yeah?’ He whispered, a smirk clearly beginning to creep in as he finally rested a kiss on my neck.

I reached behind with my free hand and let my nails brush through his hair; my fingers eventually latching onto a tuft as he nuzzled my own hair out of the way.

But just before I would allow myself to melt into him fully, I had to be serious for a second. Stopping my strokes suddenly, I breathed in and warned him, ‘If you ever answer your phone during sex again, then rest assured, we will never have sex again.’ I cocked my brow and looked back at him, deliberately making eye contact. ‘Got it?’

‘Roger that.’ Chris nodded hastily, his beard rubbing my hair as he did so. ‘Won’t happen again, ma’am. I promise.’

‘Good.’ I lowered my eyebrow and let my eyes drift down to his lips. ‘Then you can kiss me now.’

‘Thank God for that.’ Twisting me in his arms, he clasped my hips and pressed a deep kiss down onto my lips. Total ecstasy.

Even the balls of my feet felt tingly as I struggled to stay upright. Sadly, my muscles were tired from a long day of travelling and a long night of socialising; topped off, of course, with the emotional strain of confronting one’s past.

Truthfully, as enticing as Chris was being, all I wanted to do right now was flop somewhere.

‘You know, if you really, really, realllyy, wanted to make it up to me…’ I schmoozed, pulling away slightly as his mouth went for my neck, ‘you could… rub my shoulders for me?’

Chris broke out into a grin, I could feel it against my neck, before he rose his head in amusement at our broken moment of intimacy. I let my chin hit my shoulder as I did my best to entice him into massaging me; rolling my hands along his torso. ‘Pllleeeaaassseee?’

Cracking up at my campaign, he eventually relented and gently lay a kiss on my lips. ‘Sure thing, Warner.’

One borrowed t-shirt and a quick brush of the teeth later, I was positioning myself on the bed. I hopped up on my knees and pulled my hair forward over my shoulders. I’d only really gained the privilege of resting on the balls of my feet back recently - my butt bruise hadn’t felt like healing as quickly as the rest of my body.

Chris started with my shoulders, rubbing them as gently as his strong physique would allow. Occasionally, he’d lay a kiss on the back of my neck after he’d finished with a certain spot. Oh God, that felt good.

Slowly but surely, I could feel myself start to lean back into his chest. He was doing these hand compression's on my forearms and I felt like I had never been more relaxed in my entire life.

My eyes started to slowly shut as I inhaled deeply, completely basking in the moment. There really was nowhere I’d rather be in the world than right here, right now, with my Evans.

(Being massaged like this helped too, I suppose…)

-

When I opened them again, my body jolted upwards at the sight of the dark room, lit only by the peeking moonlight shining through the cracks in the blinds. As my eyes adjusted I noticed that I was now at the head of the bed, under the covers. I looked over to my left and saw Chris fast asleep, the blankets rising and falling on his chest as he snoozed away alongside me.

God, that was quite the massage… Had I really fallen asleep?

The little clock on Chris’ bedside table read 3:02AM, so I did my best to settle back down and get some more sleep. The problem was the more I tried, the more I failed. Miserably. I tossed and turned, my mind now suddenly full of energy despite my body’s obvious exhaustion.

After forty minutes of staring at the ceiling and willing sleep to come, I quietly crawled out of bed and headed for the kitchen; the little pitter patter of tiny paws on the hard wood signalling that I was being followed.

Turning only a side lamp on, I padded over to Chris’ fridge and prayed he had something in there that would help me fall back asleep. Normally, when I was back home in New York, I would combat insomnia or any kind of problem I was dealing with by doing some therapeutic baking.

Peering in, I could see he had lots of bottled water, lots of raw fruit and veggies, lots of pre-made meals for the week. Lots of boring things, I sighed. I pulled out some almond milk and decided to pour myself a glass.

Sitting beside the fridge, Dodger turned his head and looked at me like I had lost the plot. And maybe I had.

I was so clearly lying to myself about why I couldn’t sleep that it was borderline embarrassing. My talk with Chelsea earlier had confirmed something deep within me that I hadn’t properly addressed up until now.

That my feelings for Chris were far more than I was letting even myself believe.

I wandered over to the couch and turned the TV on, making sure to press the mute button. An old Home Improvement re-run was on. I stared at it absent-mindedly as my mind raced at a hundred miles an hour.

Sure, these “feelings” were all well and good but Chris had a film career, like myself, that we had to take into consideration. I didn’t care for the month we had spent apart over the holidays and now I was faced with the prospect of being separated from him for three whole months while he went off to film Avengers.

And then, there was the torturous fact that we probably hadn’t actually been together long enough to warrant these feelings. I would be setting myself up for disappointment if I allowed myself to believe that Chris felt the same as me. Clearly, no matter how sorry he was or how compulsory it had been, he still answered that call yesterday. He still felt the importance of his career.

I was probably only a moment or two away from ripping some hair out when the light in the hall came on.

Squinting at me with one eye, doing his very best to adjust to the dim lighting, Chris looked around before wandering over and taking a seat next to me.

‘Hey.’ His voice was heavy, almost croaky. ‘It’s 4am. I thought you were tired?’

‘I was, I just… woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep in the end.’ I replied gently, reaching across and trailing a hand down his face; my fingers tingling lightly as they brushed against the hairs of his beard. ‘Go back to bed.’

His head buried itself into my shoulder and he leaned his weight against me slightly as his arms wrapped around my rib-cage and attempted to coax me up off of the seat. ‘I like it better when you’re in it.’ Chris stated, making me swoon entirely.

When it was clear I wasn’t going anywhere, he silently relented and instead laid himself out on the couch and placed his head in my lap and shut his eyes. My hand instinctively began petting his hair and I was entirely enamoured by how handsome he truly was, even at four in the morning.

We shared an intimate moment of silence in which nothing seemed to exist but a sleepy Chris and a caring Adrian.

I don’t know what possessed me to open my mouth again but I did.

‘Chris?’

‘Mm?’ He moaned, his eyes still shut.

‘Remember earlier, when we were out on that balcony? And I said, “everything’s fine” with me?’

‘Mhm.’

‘It wasn’t fine.’

‘Rghh, didn’t think so.’ He reluctantly pulled himself up and stretched. Attempting to wake up somewhat, he patted my leg and yawned. ‘Alright, talk to me.’

‘I’m kind of scared to.’ I confessed meekly.

‘Why?’ Chris replied, looking only slightly offended. ‘You can tell me anything, Warner. I’m not gonna judge you.’

He didn’t need to say it twice. It came out like word vomit; my brain unexpectedly deciding to just purge itself of all bad memories. Alex, the seriousness of our relationship, the warnings from his female friend, the cheating episode. I was so proud of myself that I managed to keep a lid on my emotions and didn’t cry through any of my “tormented past” spiel.

‘… it’s like, the aftermath of all that crap has bled into our relationship far too many times and I don’t want it to be that way anymore. I don’t want this dark, stupid cloud hanging over me anymore. I just want to be Chris and Adrian.’ Suddenly I wasn’t so proud. The muscles in my lower lip began to quiver and the cracks began to appear in my voice. ‘Most of all, I just don’t want to be sad anymore because,’ (Oh no. No, no. Don’t do it.) ‘you make me really happy.’

I had never cried in front of Chris before, so my hands immediately flew up to somehow protect myself and mask it; even though it was so blatantly obvious.

I thought I might hear laughter or some sort of scoffing at how pathetic I was being. Instead, my hand-covered face was smashed into a broad shoulder and a pair of strong arms were pulling me into a lap.

‘Hey, hey, hey. No. Shhh.’ A desperate arm rubbed my back comfortingly.

I unpeeled my hands from my face and swung them around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder in the process.

‘That took a lot of balls, Warner,’ he soothed, his fingers still circling my back, ‘it’s not easy. Hell, I’ve been there myself.’

I pulled away like I’d been electrocuted. ‘What?’

Chris’ hands rose up to wipe my tears as he gazed at me kindly. ‘Let’s just say, for the longest time, I had more of a reason to hate the Yankees than most.’ He was smiling but I could tell it was a bitter one.

The idea of Chris being cheated on had never even been a factor in my mind. And it made me sad. More sad than I could ever be for myself. ‘Who would cheat on you?’

‘I could ask you the same question.’ He smiled, a genuine one this time. ‘Look Adrian, there’s some shitty people in this world. Man, fuck that guy. I’m glad he did it!’

I stared at him wide-eyed for a second, praying he was going somewhere with this.

Chris rested his palms on both of my cheeks and looked me square in the eye. ‘From the moment I met you, I don’t think I’ve breathed the same. Not a day goes by where my thought’s aren’t consumed by you. What you’re doing, if you’re okay, if you’re happy…’

My chest rose and fell as my breathing quickened.

‘You are the most special person I’ve ever met. You’re thoughtful and you’re kind and you always think about others before yourself.’

I swallowed hard, my heart racing more with every passing second.

‘What you just did isn’t the easiest thing to talk about, you gotta be vulnerable.’ He pulled my hand up and lay a gentle kiss on the back of it. ‘But I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’m crazy about you. Frankly, whoever this asshole is, I should be thanking him. Because his loss, is my gain’

I wanted to sob all over again. He was so beyond perfect it was almost painful on my heart. I crashed my wet face onto his and kissed him harder than I’d ever kissed anyone before.

-

We spent the next ten minutes in almost complete silence, aimlessly watching another muted episode of Home Improvement, his fingertips all the while making soothing circles in my hair.

‘You wanna go back to bed?’ Chris eventually asked, his voice quietly hopeful.

I sighed and shook my head gently, my mind feeling more awake now than it did when I left the bed last. Everything we had just discussed was enough to keep me awake for the rest of the week.

Blowing air out, Chris shut one eye and stared at the ceiling in thought for a moment. ‘A’ritey then.’

He shifted forward and pulled himself up off the couch, breaking our comfy hold in the process. I watched him ascend towards the hall curiously, wondering if he’d abandoned me to head to bed himself; only for him to come back around a minute later - now sporting a pair of sneakers and a navy t-shirt with his sweats.

‘Get your shoes on Warner.’ Chris decreed as he picked up his car keys and whistled for Dodger.

‘Where are we going?’ I inquired, looking at my phone to see 4:56AM stare back at me.

‘Wherever.’ He replied, so much as to say “let’s just fucking get lost somewhere”.

Without skipping a beat, I reacted. ‘Okay, just give me a sec.’ I made for the bedroom to grab my tennis shoes and a pair of pants, all the while smiling to myself at the idea of getting lost with Chris.

-

I was surprised by how long we’d been driving for. Even without the usual LA traffic, we’d been in the car for at least forty minutes at this point and as entertaining as it was to see Dodger have the time of his life hanging his head out of the backseat window, I began to wonder what Chris’ game was. For someone who had to be up in about three hours for a PT session, I imagined a drive in the area surrounding his neighbourhood would have been more suitable as opposed to somewhere this far out?

However, I’d be lying if I said the inner child in me wasn’t loving this little adventure. Chris and I didn’t get to have many adventures together, so I was totally content with sitting in the passenger seat of his car; feeling all warm and fuzzy, with no idea where we were going.

-

Five minutes later and my stubbornness had caused Chris to up his game. ‘Oh c’mon, it’s obvious!’

‘No it’s not! I don’t know LA like you do!’

‘Warner, it’s right in front of you!’

It still took me another minute or so to click that we were by the ocean.

As we hopped out of the car and I shut my door, I realised that the last time I had properly been by the water was when Chris and I had shot the Gucci commercial in Italy.

‘You approve?’ Chris called from the other side of the car. He was putting a leash on Dodger, but the little light reflecting out of the car gave away his smile. He liked it here.

‘Absolutely!’ I replied, pulling the zip up on the sweater Chris had lent me.

-

We sat and rested our elbows on our knees, watching Dodger zoom around, patiently waiting for the first indication of sun to peek out. We were alone for the most part, aside from the crazy early rising joggers and dog walkers that passed by; none of which paying attention to the couple sat minding their own business in the sand. It was bliss.

It was but a taste of the normality we’d been denied so far and even though it was a fleeting moment, it was my idea of heaven.

I twisted and wrapped my arms around Chris’ forearm and snuggled closer, resting my head on his shoulder. His cheek perched itself atop my head as we watched the deep blues of night bow to the crisp, light morning sun.

Taking my fingers and entwining them with Chris’, I let our hands dance together for a second before finally voicing some concerns of mine. ‘Are you nervous at all?’

I couldn’t explain why, but I knew that he would know what I meant. And he did.

‘Of course, I feel like we don’t do well separated.’

My eyes floated away from our hands and up to his own. He cocked his head at me and admitted, ‘Just being honest. Besides, I think that’s mostly to do with the fact that I just don’t like being away from you.’

‘I know.’ I returned my gaze back to our hands. ‘Three months is a big deal.’

‘I’m not sure I have the power to tell you what you want to hear, we can’t predict the future Adrian. All we can do is take each day as it comes.’ He professed. ‘But I’m willing to do everything I can, to make this work.’

I inhaled deeply before finally letting a smile creep out. Was it exactly what I wanted to hear? No. But would I take it? Abso-fucking-lutely.

We didn’t say much more.

We didn’t need to.

I was finally at peace with the idea that, even if nothing ever came of us, this moment was enough to show that whatever we did have, was real.

---------------------------------------------------

THANK YOU FOR GETTING TO THE END OF THIS CHAPTER SWEET READER! It took forever and i’m so beyond sorry for that.

After all this time I feel like I’m so attached to these characters, that I’m tempted for when the last chapter is finished, i’m going to do some “one-shots” to help round off their story <3

Also, I’m going to go back through and eventually edit all of my chapters for mistakes soon. My early chapters make me cringe so hard that I salute ANYONE who persevered through them, especially newer readers used to the quality of the later chapters, haha!

[cool-im-a-loser]

70 horrible questions

i dunno if this is something you get tagged for but @greatstupidchair dared me so I’ve got to do it.

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

I have a brilliant relationship with my parents. they are like my best friends.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

probably my mum or sister.

03: Do you regret anything?

I regret a couple of things, but I also believe everything happens for a reason. So i don’t completely regret them, but i think if i hadn’t had those experiences then my life would be a little easier. 

04: Are you insecure?

I think everyone gets insecure. Its just a part of life. 

05: What is your relationship status?

very, very, single

06: How do you want to die?

In my sleep hopefully. Its peaceful and i hopefully wouldn’t be in pain. And i hope it would be easier on my family if i passed away that way.

07: What did you last eat?

I had a ham and cheese toastie for my lunch. 

08: Played any sports?

not unless it was part of compulsory physical education at school.

09: Do you bite your nails?

no way! that is one of my pet peeves! i can’t stand people biting their nails. 

10: When was your last physical fight?

i can’t even remember getting into a physical fight! maybe a couple of weeks ago with my sister but that was entirely playful and i wouldn’t really class as ‘fighting’.

11: Do you like someone?

i like lots of people. whether they like me back is another story!

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

my body does not function without sleep. i can barely stay awake any longer than 12 hours. people who can stay awake for 24 hours are like aliens to me. like how do you do that??

  13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

i could name a couple of people who have pissed me off in the past months. one person, in particular, we used to be close but after many arguments they just blocked me on all social media platforms. just because of something taken way out of context. 

14: Do you miss someone?

I’ve been pretty much house-bound for the past year due to my health (or at least only able to leave my house with my parents) so i haven’t seen my friends much. the last time i saw them was November and its the end of March when i write this. but thankfully the power of the internet has kept us all connected.

  15: Have any pets?

i have 2 beautiful doggies called Ellie and Sally. they’re both English Cocker Spaniels. Ellie is 13 and Sally is 12. Ellie suffers from polyps in both her ears with makes them susceptible to infections and because of her age there isn’t anything the vets can do now so we aren’t sure how much longer we have with her. :( Sally is just a ball of energy you wouldn’t think she was 12. You’d probably think she was 2!

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

im feeling great! just a little tired but i’m always tired so thats no different.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nooooo. ain’t that kinda gross? 

18: Are you scared of spiders?

terrified!! they creep me out. 

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

i would like to visit different periods in history, because i love history. but i wouldn’t like to live in the past.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

i haven’t 

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

helping my cousin organise things for her wedding next Monday. i’ve also got to go to the hairdressers and get my nails done. 

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

i’d love kids. no more than 4 though. i’d like to have some boys because the last boy born into my family was my uncle Paul who is in his 50′s. 

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

I have 6 piercings. my septum. in my ears - left: lobe, conch. right: 2 lobe, industrial.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

At school my best subjects were History, English, ICT, Food Technology and Child Development. 

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

nope.

26: What are you craving right now?

scones with jam and cream! 

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

A boy at school who i was friends with liked me but i didn’t like him back. So i turned him down. looking back i was quite harsh when i did.

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

not really, but i did date this one guy at school and i broke up with him and on Thursday and by Monday he was dating another girl. so i’m not sure if he just rebounded quickly or if they were chatting behind my back. I'm not sure what happened there. 

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

i hope not.

30: What’s irritating you right now?

There are road works right outside my house and all i can hear is the sounds of these drills going on and on and on!!

31: Does somebody love you?

i hope my family do! they say they do

32: What is your favourite color?

pink or mustard

33: Do you have trust issues?

I’m not sure

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I can’t really remember. i remembered having a dream of my sister coming into me whilst i was asleep and waking me up and telling me she was going to town with our nan, but that actually happened.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my mother. we watched mama mia last night and we cry everytime we watch it. 

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

nope. i barely ever give out 2nd chances.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

for me they are both as hard to do. 

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

i hope it could be. its too early to tell.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

not had it yet :( 

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

when i was a child. there are many photos of me naked on our front lawn. 

51: Favourite food?

brownies!!!! 

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

definitely 

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

check my Instagram

54: Is cheating ever okay?

never

55: Are you mean?

i can be without realising it

56: How many people have you fist fought?

1? my sister

57: Do you believe in true love?

yes of course

58: Favourite weather?

sunshine

59: Do you like the snow?

yes, but i get over it very quickly

60: Do you wanna get married?

one day definitely

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

yeah why not

62: What makes you happy?

music, family, friends, food

63: Would you change your name?

if i could i would change it to Esther or add Esther into my name because its a family name that's been passed down generations. i didn’t get it. my mum forgot when she had me.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

not really 

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

freak out and the talk to them about it

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

i used to but i haven’t seen him since we left school last summer.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my grandad - i spoke to him like an hour ago

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my friend @greatstupidchair  last night

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

yes! hopefully mines out there somewhere.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

my family, my friends, my dogs 

i’m not going to tag anyone, because this was actual torture to complete!

if you want to do this then go ahead.

[suurejann]

What I See | Peter Parker

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1,072

Inspired by: @the-modern-typewriter the excerpt i used will be in bold and I have added the accurate pronouns. I hope I did it justice. (:

Warnings: Weight insecurities, swearing, and a half-naked reader

A/N: This took me forever to write and i know it isn’t very good. I did base the reader’s habits off of my own. You should never feel that you are not beautiful, because I promise you that you are. You are amazing and you are loved. It is sort of slow in the beginning but I am very happy with the ending. I hope you all enjoy. Much love, lucayaatrash. <3

How does one love themselves? You honestly have no clue.

You sit under your favorite tree on campus, your eyes lingering on perfectly thin girls for a little too long. Just then, your best friend Peter sits next to you. He shakes his hand in front of your face, drawing you out of your daze. Your attention shifts to him. To his bright eyes.

“Good morning, (Y/N). Ready for the Spanish quiz?”

“You know it. May the smartest person get the better grade.”

He firmly shakes your hand, “Thanks, I will.”

You both try to look as intimidating as possible when the bell rings. Peter quickly gets up, offering you a hand. You don’t take it, for fear of pulling him down, and get up yourself. Peter pretends not to notice, but you know he did.

Four agonizing periods later, the bell rings signaling lunch hour. You sit at your usual table with Peter, Ned, and Michelle. You don’t touch anything offered on your tray. You’ve had a habit of doing that. It’s the embarrassment of eating in front of people you can’t shake.

Peter and Ned, as per usual, are fawning over the aesthetically pleasing Liz Allan. You get it… it’s hard not to. She’s beautiful, amazing, and skinny. Everything you felt you weren’t. Michelle’s nose is glued to her book so you manage to slip out of the cafeteria undetected.

You always find yourself under that big elm tree you adore. It’s been your safe haven for quite a while now. You found peace here, especially when nothing but vacancy surrounded it. You like to lie under it and study the way the wind courses through the branches. It helps when you’re in your head too much.

Ten minutes have passed by. Ten minutes of painful thoughts.

Unexpectedly, someone snaps you out of your thoughts. Peter towers over your body, blocking out the sun’s rays that reached you.

God, even his silhouette is perfect.

“(Y/N), are you okay? Why’d you leave?”

Just a tad late, Parker. Faking a smile gets harder every day.

“Of course. I’m okay… just needed some fresh air.”

He furrows his eyebrows and sits next to you. You know this conversation could take a serious turn, but you don’t let it. Not here. Not now, when you are at your weakest.

“Hey Pete, I almost forgot! I got a perfect score on the Spanish quiz.” You playfully shove his shoulder.

“Damn it, I missed it by one question!” He jokingly (and dramatically, might I add) throws himself on the grass. You can’t help but giggle at how adorably stupid he is.

He springs up and wraps his arm around you, causing every muscle in your body to tense up.

“There’s my favorite laugh.” Let’s face it, at this point you’re red in the face.

You release the breath you didn’t realize you were holding when the bell rings. You push through the rest of your classes, not necessarily feeling any better. At last, you’re home free.

You sit at home, alone, in your oversized tee and shorts. Your parents aren’t going to be home for a while.

You hear a knock at the front door. You’re not expecting anyone, so you instinctively grab a knife and slowly open the door.

“Surpri- what the fuck!?” Peter jumps back in terror at the sight of your weapon. Laughter floods your body as he enters your house, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. Your laughter soon subsides.

“Thanks Peter, I really needed that.”

“Yeah… ha, you’re welcome. Anyway, I noticed you were having an off day so I picked us up some Chinese and was thinking movie marathon?”

What would you do without this angel in your life?

“Aw, Peterrrrrr, you’re the beeeeessssst!” You had a habit of dragging out your words during pleasurable times.

After you finish eating you grab a couple of pillows and blankets whilst Peter picks the film.

Okay, you ended up choosing the films. A night full of cheesy rom-coms was in your future, starting with 10 Things I Hate About You.

You and Peter were sat next to one another in the center of the couch. You look down, realizing your legs are completely bare, and quickly snatch a blanket, pulling it over yourself.

After a while, you become too uncomfortable and decide to change into some less revealing clothes. Your nerves are uncontrollable at this point.

As you stand in your room half naked, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the full-body mirror. You cannot take your eyes off your chubby body. Tears sting your eyes and rapidly fall to the floor.

Peter knocks on your unlocked door and slowly opens it, seeing your vulnerable body shake with silent sobs on the floor. He rushes to your side and wraps his arms around you.

“(Y/N)!? What’s wrong… please talk to me!”

He’s rocking you, hoping you’ll find comfort with him. You break for the second time that night.

“Peter… I’ve been trying so hard. S-So hard to be as beautiful as Liz… to be appealing to you… and I can’t do it anymore.”

You can see the sadness in his eyes. You don’t want to lose him.

His voice softens. “(Y/N)… you are the most beautiful girl I know.”

You shake your head, catching your breath.

Peter pulls you up, placing you before the mirror. You’ve stopped crying.

“Peter, I know someone like you could never be interested in someone like me-“

“-What do you mean?”

You blink, heat roaring beneath your skin.

“Tell me what you think you are,” his words come with something like a challenge, but his touch is soft. “And I’ll tell you what I see.”

You begin to tear up again. He doesn’t wait for you to respond. He’s standing behind you, looking at your mirrored figure.

“Because I see a caring…” He has his hands on your waist and kisses your shoulder. It’s warm and delicate.

“… intelligent…” He nuzzles his head into your neck and you give him access. He leaves a gentle peck.

“… brave…” He runs his lips over your cheek and turns you around to face him.

“… and beautiful girl…” He pulls your lips into his and the slow kiss quickly turns passionate.

You both pull away, gasping for air.

“(Y/N)… I don’t ever want you to think you’re not the most beautiful girl in the world to me.”

[papagabless1]

Actress Christabel Ekeh shows it all again in new photos

Christabel Ekeh is not backing down anytime soon in releasing nude photos just for some cheap attention.

In news photos on her Instagram page, the actress bares it all once again for free viewing.

Just some flowerlike pinkish and purple cloth covered those parts.

See photos below:

Leaked video: Christabel Ekeh and Jonny Bravo romancing

CelebritiesBuzz.co has chanced on a video of actress…