#I have adaptation opinions okay. and I AM fucking qualified to have them.

[essektheylyss]

just muttering to mutter cuz I find it fun to have meaningless opinions but having watched the trailer for The Fall of the House of Usher, I really just feel like everyone should sit down and read What Moves The Dead by T. Kingfisher instead

[masonscig]

Writer Rant: Am I the only one who finds it kind of strange how many people are complaining about how the detective didn't have a choice but to join the agency? Like I totally get thinking its too soon (I personally expected it in book 4 at least, so I have no issue with the opinion it should have happened later in the series) but there's been multiple posts I've seen of people saying they're upset that choice was forced upon them/the 'no' option didn't work, and I'm kind of wondering what they expected? Idk I feel like there's this growing trend in the IF/COG community where people are mad that they can't go completely against the status quo of the story, but like...there's a difference between taking away choices for the protag/taking control out of the players hands and some plots just *needing* to happen in order for the story to proceed as intended, especially when they relate directly to the protag and their environment and not a mostly offscreen situation like the aftermath of whether Sanja survives/the treaty is signed in Book 2.

The detective being a full time agent is a major development and would effect most if not every agency/station related scene going forward - if saying no was a legitimate option that carried over as a major choice, Mishka would basically have to write a second version of each subsequent book to account for the differences until they finally join. Not allowing that to be an option isn't taking away the players choice because it was *never* a choice to begin with, its a set part of the plot already. I get the frustration of it maybe not being the most in character, but the author in me wants to scream that it's not on the author to adapt their story to fit each OC every time, especially when that OC is made to intentionally break what 'should' be happening. For all the legitimate criticism about book 3 that I've seen, this is the one that I genuinely Do Not Understand unless there's just a lot of folks in the fandom without experience writing longer, connective works, because they either don't recognize or respect just *how much* would have to change going forward based on that one call.

i completely get where you're coming from, i really do, but i have to disagree with some points here

i think that the reason people are upset is because mis/hka has like. stripped the agency (haha no pun intended) from the mc but it doesn't quite feel as intentional as she wanted it to be – (idk if i'm explaining correctly bc it makes sense in my head) let's say you're playing with an mc that has little to no agency points, they've fucked up majorly at every stat check (murphy got away, sanja died, falk didn't sign the treaty, falk was hostile, fucked up at the auction), and they're scared of supernaturals? in what world would that qualify the mc for an agency position?

if you're thinking "okay well, maybe it's because the agency is trying to keep a close watch on the mc" – okay, well, mis/hka isn't going to flesh out the idea of the agency being evil or even explicitly morally grey. she's said herself in asks before that the agency are the "good guys" (i don't feel like looking for it lmao if you do, godspeed. there's a lot of asks to sift through) – so the choice just doesn't make sense unless she's been playing the absolute longest con and they'll be revealed to be the true antagonists in the end.

if they are, i'll record myself a jean jacket with no sauce :) xoxo

but like others have said before, mis/hka is writing this series as a utopia of sorts – the mc is a fucking cop, working for a federal agency. and they're presented as the good guys. that alone means that any weird things that they do are going to be pushed aside and blamed on an "individual" rather than the "structure" itself, if that makes sense. (an option available towards the end of book 3 depending on what route you're on is being able to erase bobby's memories if they find out about supernaturals. a cop? possibly forcibly suppressing a journalist? yeah. no thought put into that option.)

what i'm getting at is, she's stripping the choice to join the agency from the mc's who don't want it, and similarly, from what she's shown us, it's not going to amount to anything, because she doesn't seem to criticize any of the systems she's established in a larger sense outside of the mc's dialogue. so if that doesn't matter, then what are the mc's working towards? <- this is a rhetorical question, food for thought if you will LMAO

sorry this is all over the place, but to tie it all back together, i think that yes, if your oc doesn't fit the universe, i completely agree – you can't blame the author for not fulfilling every fantasy you have about the series – but similarly, i think that if mis/hka is giving us the option to make mc's who are untrustworthy of the agency, it's her job to follow through with that to some degree. and that means not just pandering to mcs that love their job, love being a cop, love supernaturals, love the agency, always pass stat checks, etc.

all of my thoughts are based on things she's said about her own story, and how i think that contradicts some ideas she may be unintentionally setting up.

but again, i totally get where ur coming from – branching stories are difficult, i just think that if you're going to offer options in a story, then choices should matter, and they feel like they don't in b3. i get that things need to happen in order for the story to progress, but some of these choices the mc is able to make feels like dead ends? like it's not going anywhere

[927roses-and-stuff]

Miracles in Gotham: Chapter 3: Unwelcome Discoveries (Part 1)

Hey, guys! This fic is inspired by @ozmav mav’s Maribat AU. Shoutout to @mystery-5-5  for brainstorming ideas with me for this fic. 

Midterms have got me acting up. Despite the quarantine, I literally wasn’t motivated to write until the moment I could use writing to procrastinate. Absolutely brilliant logic. Truly. Thank you guys so much for the wait and I hope you enjoy this chapter.  

If you want to see more, follow: #miraclesingotham or ask to be added to the tag list.

P.S. For the sake of continuity, I’m going to ignore the Heroes United thing because that episode was basically a fanfic of the fanfic and as much as I loved the animation and the new characters...I’ve seen better plots and explanations for a lot of the similar problems in the Maribat fandom. Also Sparrow is probably a reference to Batman, anyways. Also, canon has just gone out the window...I guess...whoops. 

P.P.S. Swearing tw, death tw. 

Please remember this is rated M for a reason. Also, it is my headcanon that not everyone who dies during the akuma attacks come back. Of course, it’s not mentioned in a children’s show, but I’ve always seen the Miraculous Cure as a cure for physical, non-living objects as they’re easier to fix, and lives take a lot more effort and energy from the user to revive. And since Marinette is a child, there’s not going to be a lot of energy to spare.

Tag list: @northernbluetongue @spicybelladonna @my-name-is-michell @legendaryneckjudgestudent @lokiifriggasonn @zerotosiki

First Previous Next Fanfic

To the members of the Justice League…

I am writing to you as Chat Noir, superhero of Paris and holder of the Black Cat Miraculous of Destruction, and partner to Ladybug, the official Guardian and the holder of the Ladybug Miraculous of Creation. I come to you with a plea similar to ones that we have sent you a year ago. The magical terrorist, Hawkmoth, is still at large here in Paris, France. If you are not aware of who he is, Hawkmoth is a domestic terrorist in Paris who relies on the power of the Butterfly Miraculous to create a physical and amplified manifestation of a person’s negative emotions, using the victim as a host, using magical butterflies as his form of transmission. These are called akumas. The akuma allows Hakwmoth to essentially get inside the mind of  his victims and manipulate and amplify their emotions.  We have been fortunate enough to have a failsafe in Ladybug, who can repair any physical damages, and even bring back lives, from these attacks. However, both Ladybug and I have reached our wits’ ends with no lead to Hawkmoth’s true identity. The people of Paris are suffering both from emotional trauma and the physical trauma of being subjugated, manipulated, experiencing bouts of amnesia, and even resurrecting multiple times. Hawkmoth has even taken to exclusively targeting a middle-school class at College Francois-Dupont.

Ladybug and I are aware of the risks superhero presence may bring since we will not survive a fight if any more experienced superheroes such as yourselves are akumatized. However, I feel that we have no other choice. Our Master has recently been put out of commission and the rest of our comrades have had their identities compromised. Ladybug is now the Guardian of the rest of the Miraculous. And although she will not approve of my plea, even your  advice or insight will be of use to us.

Please consider our plight and contact us as soon as you can.

Chat Noir 

Bruce Wayne was not a perfect man, he will admit. However, he did pride himself on his sense of logic and adaptability to most situations, as long as they stayed within the mortal realms of believability that is. Magic, however, or anything pertaining to the supernatural was out of his forte; in fact, he often liked to pretend it did not exist despite having acquaintances and enemies whose entire lives revolved around it. There was a reason he did not tolerate the  prolonged presence of meta-humans in Gotham, after all. 

He re-read through the email once, twice, again and again, desperately wishing that it had not been his shift to look through the messages that the Justice League received on a daily basis. Why couldn’t it have been Superman or Wonder Woman? Or better yet, Dr. Fate or Zatanna, never mind the fact that the latter was technically retired. Any of them would’ve made sense of this gibberish that was laid out in front of him. 

Initially, he thought it had been a coded message. It made perfect sense, in his opinion. The only concrete fact he could dissect out of this nonsense was the presence of a domestic terrorist and how they were targeting some middle school students for whatever reason. His mind recalled  the recent conversation he had with André Bourgeois yesterday. Even he had mentioned a domestic terrorist going after his daughter’s class, which was why he reached out to Bruce, since Bruce would be the most fitted to protect them with his resources, despite Gotham being the crime capital of the world. He nodded to himself; the facts were consistent then. There was a terrorist and middle school students were the targets. 

On one of the other screen monitors, he had pulled up records of College Francois Dupont School for a background check using a VPN to connect to French service networks. Both the email from this Chat Noir (Selina would get a kick out of that) and André failed to mention the terrorist’s intentions with these kids. However, looking through the different classes, there had been a special note besides Mme. Bustier’s class that stated:

“High vulnerability to akumas.”

This was where Bruce was once again stumped. Of course, he really couldn’t deny the existence of magic, but accepting that meant accepting that the terrorist used magical butterflies as his form of attack. Bruce wasn’t a qualified psychologist or any sort of specialist, but surely magical butterflies could not give you emotional trauma, mind-control, or even as Chat Noir had implied, a means to murder. 

Bruce scanned through Mme. Bustier’s class to look for anything that might be different from other classes. If he recalled correctly, this was the same class that André’s kid was in. He took note of the name, Chloé Bourgeois, and other notable names such as Adrien Agreste (who’s father was a fashion mogul and a model in his own right), Lila Rossi (a diplomat’s daughter), Max Kanté (a genius, and he noted to himself to see if that held true when the class was under his supervision), Marinette Dupain-Cheng (the class president and the designer of a recent rock album according to Jason who had obsessed over the cover for a few weeks before Alfred confiscated it), and Alya Césaire (an aspiring journalist who ran a blog called the Ladyblog). 

Okay, he rationalized. While not all of these kids were significant, some, like the Mayor’s own daughter, would be prime targets for a terrorist, so that made some sort of sense in Bruce’s mind. 

He sighed again, wishing that he had a cup of coffee or an energy drink with him at the moment. Unfortunately, Tim’s recent addiction meant no one could have it. Bruce scoffed underneath his breath. Alfred had really weird rules when it came to show “family support.” Tim was a grown man who should suffer his own consequences. Alas, no one argues with Alfred lest they risked his wrath. 

Bruce hovered over the link under Mlle. Césaire’s file, the Ladyblog. Perhaps it would give him some answers. 

As a bright ladybug designed website popped up, Bruce realized he might have been so wrong. 

He scrolled through the website thoroughly from the latest posts to the earliest. He noticed a concerning trend where the later blog posts centered more around one of Césaire’s classmates, Lila Rossi, and shaky videos of a red and black spotted figurem and a black cat figure fleeing the scene, or fighting some sort of abomination that Bruce did not even attempt to understand. In one video it was the two heroes against a flock of pigeons, or a gigantic baby, or whatever else. Bruce had half a mind to dismiss the entire blog as based on falsities, however one of the videos caught his eye. 

It was a video titled: “Syren: Paris Going Underwater!!” 

That was concerning, considering a flooded Paris would’ve featured on international news, not just on an amateur blog by a middle schooler. Fortunately for him, the video quality was clearer, allowing him to watch as the camera recorded the scene of that day. 

Bruce jolted awake and snapped to attention when he realized it was being filmed on a rooftop, and that the water levels were still rising as the video progressed. From what the camera captured, there were only a handful of people on each rooftop; not even making up a fifth of the Parisian population in total. 

What the fuck?

Then, as the video concluded, gigantic swarms of red and white bugs (ladybugs?) filled the camera’s frame and when it disappeared, everything was back to what he presumed was normal. The video then faded to black, posting statistics that chilled Bruce to the fucking bone. 

“Death count: 1.528 million Parisians

Resurrection count: 1.51 million Parisians

Injured count: 10 000 Parisians

Permanent death count: 18 000 Parisians

In honour of the Parisians who were not revived and were injured during the attack, the Ladyblog, offers our condolences, and will help in any way we can online and offline.  The akuma victim, as always, will remain anonymous for safety purposes.  Links to help organizations and donation funds to the peoples and families affected will be posted below. Additional links will be posted for available online mental health services.”

And, if Chat Noir was to be believed, some people had died multiple times. 

After making sure the video was not doctored in any way (though that would be cruel to assume about a kid’s blog), Bruce sent Chat Noir’s email (along with the earlier videos from both heroes and an email from Marinette Dupain-Cheng that he had found) and all of the links he had amassed to his own computer in the Bat Cave before closing all the tabs on the monitors. Swerving around, he stormed to the Batmobile, eyebrows furrowed in solemnity. 

Magic or not, whatever terrorist was plaguing Paris had a pretty damn high casualty count, and the only people that were stopping him were this Ladybug and Chat Noir people, who did not seem to be properly equipped (the Ladybug heroine was using a yoyo, for fuck’s sake) to deal with someone of this power. Not to mention, Bruce winced, their mentor  was “out of commission” whatever that meant, with their peers being compromised, so they probably had no outside help.

And it seems, Bruce’s features darkened into a scowl, his dear friend André Bourgeois had a lot of explaining to do. Police department has it handled, his ass. 

In the meantime, he was going to make damn sure the class under his care would have a relaxing reprieve even if he had to lock up every villain in Arkham Asylum himself. 

________________________________________________________________

Dear Diary, 

The talk with Chat was a bust. I know he thinks I don’t trust him, but I wish he knew how much I’m trying to, but it’s not as simple as he makes it out to be...right?  And of course I trust him with my life, but as the Guardian, I can’t just make impulsive decisions like going to other superheroes, especially when there’s no guarantee they would help us, or can even be trusted in the first place! And I can’t just reveal our identities to each other either. It would put Chat and the rest of the Miraculous at risk. And I really don’t want a repeat of Chat Blanc…

That future will never happen on my watch. I forbid it. 

Speaking of other superheroes, I think there might be someone though, who could help us, even a little bit. 

Marianne. 

She wasn’t a Guardian, but she was a Ladybug user for a while and was really close to Master Fu. She must know something. She’s in London so she might not be available but...

I’ll check up on her today after class! If she has any helpful advice, I’ll be sure to share it with Chat too. 

Gotta go!

Bisoux, 

Marinette

Scrambling to get ready, Marinette fumbled with her pigtails and shoulder bag simultaneously, trying to make sure that her pigtails were just right. Tikki zoomed around, helping her get ready by shoving stray pens and pencils into her pockets. When they were done, Marinette rushed downstairs, swiping one of the freshly-made quiche along the way. Just before she exited the store, she turned back to give her Maman and Papa a smooch. Hastily, she then left the bakery, the bakery’s bell ringing behind her as she sprinted to school. 

It was a mystery for most people, but despite living less than five minutes away from the school, Marinette was always late. Marinette liked to blame her Ladybug duties when Tikki asked, but she knew better. She had the habit of being late since before she knew the Miraculous existed. 

To be fair though, Marinette usually slept in because she was exhausted from schoolwork, designing,

and Ladybug duties. Was it her fault that Hawkmoth liked making 3 AM akumas? Was it her fault that coffee- for all the espresso and sugar she dumped into it, and despite all those hipster blogs saying otherwise- did nothing to help her stay awake? Of course not. If anything she was a victim here; a victim of late night akumas and faulty biology. 

Fortunately for her (and her quiche), she was actually earlier today than usual. She could see students milling around the courtyard behind the school. Some sat with their friend groups while others huddled to catch up on the homework from the night before. 

Unfortunately, one of those groups was Lila and her friends. Lila sat on one of the picnic tables, talking about whatever grand adventure she supposedly went on or whichever famous celebrity she supposedly saved from a rare type of cancer or something while her friends sat around her, captivated with every word. Marinette rolled her eyes. It was too early for this. 

She steered away from them towards the other side of the yard, where she could see Alya and Nino cuddling while finishing their homework. She glanced back at Lila, who waved at the couple before going back to whatever story she was regaling to her loving audience. It was probably because Alya and Nino hadn’t seen Lila greet them in the first place, but Marinette couldn’t help feeling a bit happy that they didn’t return her greeting. 

“Morning, guys!” She greeted as she approached their table, sitting on the other side. 

Alya looked up first. “Hey! You woke up early today,” she teased, giving her shoulder a friendly nudge.

“Heh, guess it’s my lucky day today,” she said. As she sat down, she began eating the quiche she had swiped earlier. “Well, almost, anyway.”

Alya rolled her eyes and smirked. “You live in front of the school. It’s your own damn fault at this point.” 

Nino, who had been pouring over a worksheet that was due today, finally looked up. Upon seeing Marinette, he smiled. “Hey, dude. You’re actually early!” 

At Marinette’s exasperated groan, both Alya and Nino fell into giggles, Marinette shortly following along. 

“Keep that up, and I’m not gonna let you guys eat at my place for lunch,” she teased, wagging a finger at them. 

Alya wagged her own finger, engaging in a finger sword fight. “As if your mom would ever let us starve!” 

Marinette laughed, as she wrapped her finger around Alya’s and lightly slammed it onto the table, declaring her victory. 

“Okay, okay, you got me.” Marinette went back to eating her quiche, devouring it before it got too cold. For once, she was in a pretty good mood. 

“Hey, Alya, Nino,”

And of course, she just had  to jinx it. 

Marinette didn’t even try to join in the conversation to acknowledge Lila’s presence. If Lila wanted to talk to her, she needed to stop lying about everything; and with her supposed “lying disease,” that wasn’t happening anytime soon. She only wished Adrien was here so someone could sympathize with her. 

“Oh, hey Lila,” Alya greeted, having gained her hand back and waved. “Ignore Nino here. He forgot about Mendeleiv’s worksheet due today.” 

“Oh, I see.” Lila said. “Well, you know, Nino. If you ever need help with science, one of my cousins actually won a Noble Peace Prize for his contributions in molecular chemistry.” 

Nino, to his credit, only muttered an “uh huh” before turning the worksheet over and frantically scribbling all over it. Marinette briefly wondered if Nino understood what he was writing down- or if he cared. 

Alya perked up. “Wow, that’s amazing Lila! What did your cousin do?”

Lila smiled bashfully, and looked away, waving her hand. “Oh, you know, it was the discovery of some man-made element.” Marinette had to give Lila credit- she knew how to fake her blushes really well. “I’m nowhere near as smart as my cousin, you know? All the scientific words get me so confused!” 

Marinette buried her head in her arms. Did she need to be here for this? She could just slip away? Glancing at Lila, who caught her eyes, she decided against it. Like hell she was letting Lila take away her time with her  friends. 

Alya laughed good-naturedly. “Oh, I understand completely. English is so much more of my forté, you know?” 

“Yeah I totally get what you mean.” Lila stopped laughing as her gaze landed on Marinette. Only she seemed to notice the glare she gave her.  “Oh, hi, Marinette. Glad to see you’re early today.” 

“Yeah,” she deadpanned. “Hi.” With a fake smile, she robotically waved at her. 

“Well, anyways I got to go. See you later Alya.”  Lila said, waving her fingers before finally walking away. Marinette exhaled. Thank kwami. She may have been less obnoxious today but that was probably because of Alya’s presence. 

Speaking of, the said girl turned towards her. “You could be nicer towards her.” 

“She almost got me expelled.” Marinette had had this conversation with Alya many times before. At this point, her responses came like clockwork. She contemplated telling Alya’s threat back in Lila’s first day, but she really wasn’t ready for the backlash if Alya accused her  of lying. 

“Well,” Alya stuttered. “It was because she has an illness that makes her lie uncontrollably.” 

Marinette was pretty sure there was no such illness but at this point, Lila had somehow convinced everyone it was an actual illness. That, or no one wanted to point out the obvious lie, including administration. Which would be pretty negligent of the school admin so she hoped not. 

“Alya, if it was just an illness that makes her tell lies, pray tell, who put the test answers in my bag and the necklace in my locker?” she asked. 

“Maybe, well,” Alya tried coming up with an answer but failed, thereby changing the subjects. “Look, both of you are my friends, and I don’t want to get in between the two of you.” 

Marinette sighed. “Yeah, yeah.” She picked up the discarded quiche container and her bag. “I gotta go to class and see if Mme. Bustier needs help.” 

Alya frowned. “Marinette, wait.” 

“It’s okay, really.” Marinette assured her, before walking away. When she was climbing up the steps to the entrance, she sighed heavily. She didn’t really understand Alya’s logic sometimes. If she knew about Lila’s supposed lying disease, why did she put Lila’s trash on the Ladyblog? If Alya knew Lila’s lies had led to Marinette’s initial expulsion, why still defend her? Marinette shook the thoughts away, not wanting to get into that impeding headache. Lila Rossi was never worth her time. 

When she reached the entrance, Lila was leaning against the doors, her arms crossed. Her olive green eyes were glaring right at her. 

“Dupain-Cheng.” 

“Rossi.” 

Lila strutted up to her, getting uncomfortably close to her face. “I told you what would happen if you didn’t play along.” 

Marinette stared back, unimpressed. She really had more pressing issues than this weird power play Lila wanted to play. Leaning back and stepping to the side, she said, “I already told you I’m not scared of you, Lila.” 

Marinette didn’t spare her another glance. In some ways, she pitied Lila. What kind of life did you have that you were so desperate for attention you lied about everything, and tried to get rid of anyone else who called you out? 

She really hoped Alya would soon see sense. Adrien had once told her to take the high road, and honestly? Sometimes, it felt good to not let Lila’s lies get under her skin. 

Then again, when did Lila ever go down so simply? 

[northofthecosmos]

The Bazaar Breakdown

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way, shape or form a Bai Yu stan.

Okay now that that’s dealt with, here it finally is! 

The Big Bazaar Breakdown; a Bai Yu Meta post. 

In this discussion, we’re going to talk about Glasses!Bai Yu from the iconic Bazaar photoshoot, and why it is my favourite photoset of Glasses!Bai Yu probably of all time. Basically, I’m going to break down the reasons why I absolutely live for the Bazaar photoshoot.

Before I begin, it is important to note that I am not a professional. I’m just someone with myopia and an amatuer interest in how glasses work as accessories. As such, this is in no way a guide to picking out the right pair of glasses or how glasses work, it’s mostly my own preferences in regards to spectacles and such. So don’t take my comments too seriously. 

Now, my personal belief is that there is no hard and fast rule to picking the right pair of glasses.

As a whole, glasses are very versatile and flexible accessories. And they can be easily personalized to oneself. This really means that there is no concrete guide to picking glasses that suit you because the design choices in one pair that happens to compliment you isn’t going to apply to all glasses. And similarly, the details in one pair of spectacles isn’t limited to just one effect.

Articles and guides may tell you to contrast the angles of your face, and others may tell you to soften them. But the rule of thumb is to do whatever the fuck you want.

I mean, there is an overall line of logic to follow, but deviating from it in favour of whatever you like is strongly encouraged. It is essential, even. Glasses are super adaptable so they can work in so many ways. The only thing you have to know is:

To compliment, you have to Contrast and Accentuate.

Anyways, I digress and now it’s time to return to the Study of Glasses!Bai Yu. If you don’t know what the Bazaar photoshoot is, I’m talking about these:

Yes, this photoshoot is the absolute best. 

Most of why I love it so is attributed to my own personal preferences, but also how good those glasses are objectively. In other words, the Bazaar glasses work wonders because it’s a break from Bai Yu’s usual style, and the design sompliments his face in an unconventional but stunning way.

To really get this, I’m going to zoom out here and talk more generically. I’m going to provide some preface.

And here’s where it gets long so have a cut out of mercy.

The reason why I love Glasses!Bai Yu on any given day is because of his varying pairs of commonly worn glasses. And they all look fantastic on him because damn, does that guy know how to accessorize. However, do not make the mistake of believing that it looks good because Bai Yu can make it work. He can, of course and he does, but it’s mostly because Bai Yu knows what he’s doing.

I used to think he would look good in all glasses until I saw the cases where he didn’t. Again, debatable because he still looks cute but that might be a biased opinion. 

Such moments includes this:

I don’t know about you but compared to how he looks on an average day, that’s a downgrade. I can barely see his glasses at all. The bridge is kind of interesting but that’s about it.

You can see more of this here too:

The lack of rims don’t look good on him and the frame design is clunky, et cetera, et cetera. Maybe it’s the stache, maybe its the lack of stache. Who knows?

My point here is that the choice in glasses matter greatly. There are glasses that look good on you, and there are glasses that don’t. 

(There’s also this guy called CaoGuang who just straight up looks ugly. I don’t want to talk about him or have him here so please hunt on your own. Thanks for understanding.)

Anyways, to put this into context and apply it, let’s talk about Bai Yu’s face!

— The BY Face Shape

After flipping through a whole lot of Bai Yu’s barefaced photos, I’m fairly sure that his face shape falls under the diamond category. His hair obscures the shape most of the time but it should be quite obvious, regardless.

And you can see it quite clearly here:

Having a diamond-shaped faced is usually determined when the widest part of your face are your cheekbones. Scanning from the top to the bottom of the face, the forehead will expand out around the eyeline and the ears, before it finally narrows back down to the chin. Naturally, it resembles a diamond and that’s what you can observe through Bai Yu’s face.

You can see it here as well in lower quality:

See how his cheekbones jut out slightly from the sides of his face? And the way his forehead and chin are thinner in width? Yeah, that’s diamond-shaped face.

I hope that’s clear to all because it’s pretty important.

Moving on!

— The BY Jaw & Chin Shape

From further browsing of his many photos and videos, here is my conclusion. 

From the front, Bai Yu’s chin shape is rather angular and squarish. You can see this from the photos above about his face shape. Observe the shape how his chin ends. 

I think its fairly obvious that it ends in a slight extension down vertically and then stops in a straight, vaguely horizontal line. Hence, the angles and the squarish quality.

From his side profile, on the other hand, Bai Yu’s jaw falls under the pointed category. 

You can observe this here:

It juts out ever so slightly from his profile and it’s pronounced. Not too much, but just enough to qualify under having a pointed jaw. The mango jokes originate from this, more specifically the curve of his jaw and how it makes his profile look.

— Key Takeaways & Application

Now to sum up what I’ve just explained, here are the main points:

Face Shape: Diamond

Jaw Shape: Pointed

Chin Shape: Angular & Squarish

These are all pretty key, even though face shapes do take precedence over jaw shapes when it comes to glasses. Regardless, they are both features to be discussed.

Going along with Bai Yu’s face shape, the recurring details about what will compliment him are as follows:

Glasses with curvy brow lines

Top heavy frames in general

Wide glasses

These would all create a nice aesthetic for his face and emphasize and contrast his features super well. 

What he should avoid are as follows:

Narrow frames

Thin rimmed frames

Rimless Glasses

Rounded frames, especially those shorter in height

To put it into application, the two best glasses that Bai Yu rocks both in theory and in real life are:

D-shaped glasses

Browline glasses

And what I love to death is that Bai Yu follows these rules and then goes to add stuff to them that are so great. They’re his common glasses so there are loads of photos of him wearing them across the years, but I’ll try to narrow it down to some favourites.

— The BY Styles: D-shaped Glasses

I’m talking about this amazing pair of D-shaped glasses with the gold accented bridge, and those holder straps that he wears almost all the time:

The glasses are wide, you can see how they extend a little beyond the width of his face. And that’s great because it covers his cheekbones and brings attention away from and further up to his face instead.

The full-rims and the D-shape of the glasses help to accentuate his eyes and brows. The full-on dark colours of the frames definitely bring out his eyes and hair. The angularity of his frames mimics the shape of his chin so wow, yes, very nice. Similarly, the slight slope of the top of his frames mimic the shape of his brows. Amazing, I live for it. I’m just super weak to these details because, y’know — personal preference. 

The gold bridge is even more of my subjective opinion because its a good splash of colour in the black, and it contrasts so well. The slight differences in the design of the bridge itself to make it a little more unique is also great.

All in all, I love this pair of glasses on Bai Yu. He did so good on picking them, the first time I saw him wearing them I think I screamed. And I will continue screaming in a similar fashion everytime someone shows me more of such Glasses!Bai Yu.

— The BY Styles: Sunglasses

Now, these are a little different because as compared to his usual pair, Bai Yu doesn’t really wear the same pair of sunglasses most of the time. Also, usually it’s part of a photoshoot where he’s most likely given the sunglasses instead.

But there’s no way I’m making a Glasses!Bai Yu post and not talk about him in sunglasses, so here are some highlights:

The angular shape is so good, and the bridges too. The aesthetics are fantastic and I dig the way it divides his face so hard, it’s perfect. I love the cool extra lines of metal in the bridges too. Bring my gaze up to his eyes, brows and forehead, thanks.

The thickness of it also makes for a juicy side profile. Very nice. Also, bringing it back to complimenting his hair colour which it does so very well too. With facial hair, it’s such a bonus.

All in all, sunglasses are good, and he looks very nice in them. 

That’s it. That’s the sunglasses meta.

— The BY Styles: Bonus Oldies

He doesn’t wear this pair of glasses anymore so these are just special mentions. Just like the sunglasses, not entirely valid but they substantiate. And I love them so they must show up. Hence:

Low quality browline glasses that he never wears again! I love them and the brow accentuation comes back in full force, they’re such underrated glasses for Bai Yu.

Similar to his current pair, the full rims are there. The wideness is there. Mimicking the brows and chin, it’s so there and it’s good.

But the real highlight here are those awesome, awesome bridges. They’re gold and elevated! What a fucking King, I’m so happy I got to see him in those in my lifetime because wow, they’re hitting all the right spots for me. Unique bridges are so down my lane.

Also hair up with glasses is A Look. I hope it’ll return soon.

And... 

That’s it for the preface! It’s long, but that’s how it must be I suppose. Now that you have an idea of what Bai Yu looks good in, let’s round this up with the Bazaar talk.

— The Bazaar BY

In very concise terms, the Bazaar Photoset is special because I never would have thought they would look good on Bai Yu if you described the Bazaar glasses to me, and I’ve never seen the actual pictures. But in reality, the shape, colour and design choices made it work in such a pleasant way.

Firstly, let’s talk about the thin black rims.

As I’ve mentioned above, usually thin rims don’t work on Bai Yu. They blend into his face and don’t really do much other than give weird refraction-like effects. They’re really not the best, and they don’t appeal to me that much.

But it works so well in Bazaar because they got creative with the filters.

It’s not a conventional choice to give him thin rims but with that monochrome effect? Stunning. Absolutely gorgeous. 

With the filter, the black frames come out more boldly and they don’t blend away as much. It’s basically the same effect as a full on D-shaped glasses with full black rims. It compliments his facial hair, the hair on his head, his brows and his eyes! It also contrasts and pops from the greyish hues. They end up looking just right. It’s a nice medium between being light, but not too blended or heavy. 

I love it.

Secondly, let’s talk about the unique frame shape.

Here are some closeups and refreshers in case you don’t remember what the Bazaar glasses look like:

Look at them, my god. They’re not round glasses. 

The Bazaar glasses are rounded on the bottom but they’re angular and almost geometric on the top with that sharp twist downwards. It’s a subtle design and also unique as hell. There are no cool bridges but the frame design definitely makes up for that.

It creates this dip in his brow before it reaches the bridge, forming this curve that mimics the shape of his eyes. And in these photos the gaze is piercing and he’s looking striaght at you, so. Nice. It’s super pleasing and satisfying.

I love it.

Lastly, let’s talk about the prolonged temples.

You can see that at the ends of the frames, the arm of the glasses begin and the temples are extended. This makes up for the issue I usually have with width in a really unexpected way. Similar to how the D-shaped glasses are wide and do well on Bai Yu, the prolonged temples kind of have the similar effect.

It widens the glasses without extending the lens, so we can still keep that vague round shape that fits his eyes. And it makes the dimensions of the second photo way cooler, where he sort of looks up from behind the glasses.

In general, it just builds this aesthetic and look that is exactly what I like to see, so.

I love it.

— Final Thoughts

This is just a really long way of screaming how much I love Glasses!Bai Yu. Thanks for making it all the way here. It’s long and pretentious, but I hope someone had fun reading.

Special thanks to @seventh-fantasy for feeding me, like, literally all of the photos here and their sources. And thank you @GuardianDiscord for enabling my glasses-related nonsense. Here y’go guys.

Thank you, and I hope you have a good day.

:: Mark 

[failingtheoscars]

2021 Oscar Predictions: "I Didn't See Shit" Edition

Hello everyone, Facebook has deleted the Notes feature despite my numerous stern emails, so I've been forced to use tumblr, of all things. Remember tumblr? It's that website that was made for porn. Turns out it's for blogs now. Who knew?

Let's take a trip down memory lane:

2020 - 21/24

2019 - 13/24 (lol)

2018 - Lost to the sands of time

2017 - 17/24

2016 - 16/24

2015 - ???

2014 - 18/24

And sometime in the past I entered some concert to beat Ebert and I got 21/24. This is the current record. It will not be beaten this year, because I ain't seen SHIT. But there's only 23 categories now, so I guess that helps? So let's do this.

Best Actor - This is one of those years where all the wind is blowing behind Chadwick Boseman's back - he is very good in Ma Rainey, and also he's... post-humous. If we can all be honest to ourselves, we know this doesn't hurt your chances. There's also, however, a "no one goes there anymore, it's too crowded" effect where a lot of Academy voters are saying "I know Boseman is going to win, but I voted for Hopkins!" and that was enough for Hopkins to take the BAFTA. I'm going to follow my gut here and say it's still going to be Boseman but this is way tighter than I think anyone expects it to be.

Will win: Chadwick Boseman

Might win: Anthony Hopkins

Should win: Everyone who's ever pretended to give a shit about my Oscar predictions

Best Actress - Probably the closest and hardest to call race of the night since seemingly everyone in this category could win, but I think Frances McDormand's performance wasn't flashy enough for the voters, and Mulligan's is too genre-y to win it too. I think it's going to be Davis by a fucking hair despite the rather limited screentime of this performance.

Will win: Viola Davis (???)

Might win: Mulligan

Should win:  Sidney Flannigan for Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Best Supporting Actor - I am going to go with Daniel Kaluuya for Judas and the Black Messiah, but I'm not as confident about it as other people are. I still think of the Academy voter pool as being old, white, and generally just afraid of the Black Panthers.

Will win: Daniel Kaluuya

Might win: Paul Raci

Should win: Delroy Lindo for Da 5 Bloods

Best Supporting Actress - Yuh-Jung Youn. I feel good about this

Will win: Yuh-Jung Youn

Might win: Glenn Close, maybe?

Should win: I'm okay with Yuh-Jung Youn taking it.

Best Animated  - AKA, the award for "Most Pixar" movie, unless of course its 2001, in which you encounter the "Shrekkiest" movie exception. Still, Pixar almost never loses no matter how mediocre and underwhelming their film is.

Will win: Soul

Might win: Wolfwalkers

Should win: That scene in the Simpsons where Marge holds a potato and says "I just think they're neat"

Best Cinematography - L A N D S C A P E S

Will win: Nomadland

Might win: idk... Mank?

Should win: Yeah, Nomadland feels good

Best Costume Design - B L A C K B O T T O M (S?). It's a period piece.

Will win: Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

Might win: Mank

Should win: The Golden Globes, for disguising itself as a legitimate organization qualified to give awards

Best Directing - Yeah, I think it's going to Chloe Zhao. So glad she's working on a Marvel movie now. Now THAT is good use of talent.

Will win: Zhao for Nomadland

Might win: Uh... I dont know. Fincher?

Should win: I haven't seen a single 2020 movie I really want to go to bat for, so whatever

Documentary (Feature) - My Teacher's an Octopus! An Octopus Taught Me!? Meet this Octopus: Teachers Hate Him! Taught... by an Octopus!? My Teacher Octopus. Octopus, my teacher. Teach me, Octopus! Octoteach my puss.

Will win: Octoteachapus

Might win: who cares

Should win:  i can neither pronounce or spell "dacumintery"

Best Documentary Short - WOW lets throw a fuckin dart at the dartboard because Ive never known the winner of these and I NEVER WILL

Will win: A Love Song for Latasha

Might win: Colette

Should win: WHO KNOWS. NO ONE KNOWS

Best Editing - Ever since Bohemian Rhapsody won this oscar it broke my fucking brain so who knows anymore.

Will win: Trial of the Chicago 7: Revenge of the Sorkin

Might win: Bohemian Rhapsody, apparently

Should win: MY DUDES LETS JUST GIVE IT TO BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY AGAIN LETS MAKE HISTORY

Best Foreign Language Film - DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!

Will win: Another Round

Might win: Quo Vadis, Aida

Should win:  How should I know, I don't watch movies with subtitles

Best Make-up and Hairstyling - Is the award for most Make-Up? Because I think Viola Davis is carrying a legit 10-pounder around for Ma Rainey.

Will win: Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

Might win: The Milanese Swan

Should win: Me, for "making up" the movie The Milanese Swan. Hahaha get it

Best Music (Original Score) - Not only is Soul a movie, it's the name for a whole genre of music! You can't lose!

Will win: Soul

Might win: Funk

Should win:  Jazz

Best Music (Original Song) - I haven't heard any of these songs.

Will win: Speak Now

Might win: Husavik, apparently

Should win:  I can neither pronounce or spell the word "moozik"

Best Production Design - To quote myself: "9 times out of 10, the period piece wins." And to add on, the one about Hollywood does too.

Will win: Mank

Might win: Ma Rainey

Should win:  WHO CARES. THERES A PANDEMIC. sorry

Best Short Film (Animated) - how would i know, stop asking me! leave my family alone!!

Will win: If Anything Happens I Love You

Might win: In the end, we're all winners

Should win:  Sorry, I misread the copy. We're all wieners.

Best Short Film (Live Action) - lol

Will win: Two Distant Strangers

Might win: LITERALLY ANYTHING

Should win: well in my erudite opinion i bleh bleh bleh

Best Sound - Holy shit, they finally admitted they have no idea what the difference is between sound editing and mixing and just smushed them together. Nice.

Will win: Sound of Metal - It's got sound in the name!!

Might win: The Sound of Music

Should win: The Sound of Yo Mama. ayo gotem

Best Visual Effects - Did you know CGI stands for "Can't Get In?" It's named after what yo mama said when she tried to fit through the door to her house. lmao gotem

Will win: Tenet

Might win: i dont know

Should win: this is taking too long

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay) - OH GOD it's actually hard this year but I think it's going to be Nomadland just because it has the forward momentum for best picture (spoiler). Could be The Father. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't feel so good Mr. Stark

Will win: No, Mad Land!

Might win: ZEE FATHAIR

Should win: Look, I think I've only seen like... 20 movies from 2020, tops. I don't care. Honestly, I'm just happy I'm still alive at this point.

Best Writing (Original Screenplay) - You know, this is starting to feel like a lot of pressure. Like why would I ever be able to predict the Oscars? What do I know? I used to have at least seen the movies, so that gave me an edge. But this year I've barely seen any of these. I'm lost, adrift in a boundless sea. I think it'll be Promising Young Woman.

Will win: Promising Young Woman

Might win: Try Oh Love The Cigar Goes Heaven

Should win:  a movie

Best Picture - Weirdly probably the only category of the whole night I feel pretty good about. I've seen Minari, Mank, Nomadland, and Trial of the Chicago 7, which are all varying degrees of good except for Mank which is varying degrees of bad. And Trail of the Chicago 7 which is an hour of good and then a half hour of really bad. Anyways I don't have super strong feelings about any of these movies but Nomadland was good, I think it has the momentum, and despite minimal Oscar controversy I don't think the voters give a shit.

Will win: Nomadland

Might win. Honestly I live in fear Green Book is going to fucking win again somehow. Some fucked up Lala Land/Moonlight scenario where Viggo Mortenson roles up in some old beater and says "woke up dis moooohnin, got some gabbagool" and then walks away with another oscar with a fat cigar in his mouth.

Should win:  Green Book. It was very touching

this is the bad place