#I have actually never really felt drawn to the hollywood thin men and scrawny boys makes me anxious that I'll break them by touching them
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May 27 2023 Okay, you know what: I am low key angry about all the buzz that Käärijä is getting for having a normal body. People call him ‘fat’ and having to ‘lose weight’ but to me, he looks muscular and healthy. And it is not just online since I first encountered it irl with two girls calling him ‘Winnie the Pooh’. Do you know how much I’d give to have his body? To have his confidence? He is out there proudly showing his surgical scars and his tummy, and all people can see is that he is not model thin.
#this turned out to be more about jere/käärijä than my own gender identity so I'll elaborate a bit here#when people go after käärijä like this it hurts me and probably other like me since I do really wish I looked like jere#my gender envy tells me that this is the ideal to go for#I have actually never really felt drawn to the hollywood thin men and scrawny boys makes me anxious that I'll break them by touching them#and I know I'll never be thin#so people going after jere feels like an attack because if he is not good enough for you guys I'd never be good enough either#I have a strongly feminine coded body and I hate it even if people compliments it#so if let's say I actually ended up looking like jere then how would people even see me? these people's action tells me that they'd scorn me#scorn me for looking like my ideal self#for looking freaking normal#think about all the people looking like jere right - you are putting them down as well#by commenting negatively on one person's body you do not only hurt the person themselves but everybody with the same body type#or idiots like me having this bodytype as their ideal#micah out#käärijä#jere pöyhönen#esc#esc2023#transgender#nonbinary#transmasc#gender envy#late entry#entry#findingmicah#also sorry for the rant
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