#I have a million and one feelings about the relationship between Siri and Anakin in this particular circumstance.

[antianakin]

The one thing I'd add is that being IN a romantic relationship or even leaving the Order to pursue a more committed relationship (and possibly a more traditional family), does not necessarily equate to the Jedi being unhappy as a Jedi. Jedi can theoretically be in some level of romantic relationship without it being an issue, and a Jedi choosing to leave the Order to pursue a more committed relationship (and potentially to raise a family) does not necessarily equate to them being unhappy with being a Jedi since it could just as easily be a simple change of priorities.

Many members of the Jedi Council seem perfectly aware that Anakin and Padme are at least sleeping together and that they have romantic feelings for each other, and and they don't make an issue out of it until Anakin appears to be seriously struggling because of the relationship. Obi-Wan specifically tells Anakin that romantic feelings are natural and that the Jedi don't forbid them at all. He does advise Anakin to remain "just friends" with Padme in that conversation, but Anakin is also in a situation right now where he's so angry that he nearly kills a man because he believes Padme was cheating on him. This relationship is causing Anakin some serious issues that Obi-Wan and the others are very clearly able to pick up on, so it's not exactly wrong for Obi-Wan to try to gently point out that if the relationship is perhaps becoming an attachment, that Anakin should put an end to it.

And I have plenty to say about Obi-Wan in particular, so I'll put it under a cut for anyone less interested in that.

Obi-Wan and Satine are... a terrible couple in so many ways, but there's a million things I could use to counter the argument that Obi-Wan's stated feelings for her don't equate to Obi-Wan being unhappy as a Jedi. Satine seems to actively make Obi-Wan MISERABLE. He's a much worse person throughout the entire Duchess of Mandalore arc than he is anywhere else. He's mean-spirited about Satine's beliefs, he's constantly frustrated with her choices, he intentionally starts screaming matches with her in public, he does not seem to respect her very much, and he's quite literally sexist towards her by the end. There isn't a single moment between them that seems to be particularly HAPPY or would make me believe that Obi-Wan genuinely still wants to leave being a Jedi in order to pursue a relationship with Satine. By comparison, we have TONS of little moments of Obi-Wan just being happy within the Temple and interacting really positively with other Jedi he's with. Despite his one line in the Duchess of Mandalore arc about some remorse for a road not taken, he never actually SHOWS any remorse about being a Jedi anywhere else. You cannot convince me that what little remorse he might have over a what-might-have-been with Satine equates to him being unhappy as a Jedi and that canon actually shows that he'd be HAPPIER with Satine. You just can't.

If we DO want to bring Legends in, I can also speak to Siri and Obi-Wan's relationship from the Jedi Apprentice series where we actually get to see them get together and make the choice to break up in order to remain Jedi. Within that book, Qui-Gon discovers the relationship and ultimately comes to tell Obi-Wan that he knows Obi-Wan well enough to recognize that losing being a Jedi will devastate him more in the long run than losing his relationship with Siri because it's so much more intrinsic to who he is than his feelings for Siri will ever be. Obi-Wan brings up Qui-Gon's relationship with Tahl and Qui-Gon points out that while he and Tahl never actually got to explore being in a relationship, he did end up losing her and he's still here. He's still doing well, still capable of being happy without her. So he is literally living proof that the loss of a relationship, no matter how deep your feelings, is not necessarily the end of the world. And when Obi-Wan and Siri speak on their own later, Siri says this, which stuck with me: "I didn't want to decide. Isn't that weak of me? I wanted you to decide. I was so afraid of what lay ahead that I wanted to let go of my own will. Is this what love is? Then maybe I'm not cut out for it at all." While Obi-Wan and Siri DO love each other and seem to make each other very happy, the text supports the idea that neither of them would necessarily be MORE happy if they left the Order for each other and that being a Jedi is more important to both of them than the relationship is, even if they don't feel that way currently.

So if you apply that concept to Obi-Wan and Satine as well, Obi-Wan's "remorse" about choosing to end the relationship might be real still, but it doesn't necessarily equate to him being UNHAPPY as a Jedi or unhappy without the romance. It could just as easily be remorse about HOW he chose to end it as it is remorse over ending it at all. And just because he expresses remorse about losing the relationship with Satine doesn't mean he'd somehow have LESS remorse if he left the Jedi for her instead. He may have felt otherwise as a teenager twenty years ago, but that doesn't mean it would've been true or that it would be true now.

And if we want to pick up Disney canon to help support this, we can look at the Obi-Wan Kenobi show where Obi-Wan DOES leave behind being a Jedi for about ten years and he is MISERABLE. Granted he loses literally everyone he ever cares about and now lives in a cave because he'll be hunted if he doesn't, but I think we can apply a similar concept. Obi-Wan is, in a lot of ways, no longer a Jedi. He's not really acting like one much, he doesn't let go of his feelings very well, he isn't standing up for people, he's downtrodden, defeated, and unwilling to fight for anyone, including himself. But by no longer being a Jedi, he could, arguably, be considered free to go off and live a normal life. He could fall in love with someone on Tatooine and make a home with them if he wanted. This could've been how he found happiness again. But it isn't. Obi-Wan only achieves happiness and peace again, only finds HIMSELF again, when he becomes a JEDI again. He reclaims that identity as a Jedi and it's BEING A JEDI that allows him to find a community and reconnect with people and, ultimately, to reconnect to the Force. So Qui-Gon's words from Jedi Apprentice end up ringing true: the loss of being a Jedi is a regret that never lessened and it wasn't romance that saved him, but going BACK to the Jedi he once was. The relationships he builds with others in that show are all platonic in nature (they were originally going to make Tala a more explicit love interest and the actress has said she still played it as though Tala was in love with Obi-Wan, but the romance itself was removed). Obi-Wan's identity as a Jedi is the MOST IMPORTANT part of him, the part of him that defines who he is the most. Being a Jedi is what makes him the happiest and most at peace. What feelings he may or may not have had for Satine will always, ALWAYS pale in comparison to what being a Jedi means to him.

Call me crazy, but I know for a fact that I would not want a romantic relationship if I was a Jedi.

If I lived somewhere where I was a part of a community of people that I considered my mentors, my friends, my family; if I lived somewhere where I was encouraged to learn, to travel, to help people, to enjoy life as it is, and better myself; if I lived somewhere where I was supported and loved and cared for by the community, and I did the supporting, the loving, the caring for other people in the community as well; if I lived somewhere where it wasn't constantly implied, or sometimes outright stated, that my worth was tied to me marrying a man, popping out children, and making money...

...if I was a Jedi, I can honestly say that the thought of pursuing a romantic relationship probably wouldn't cross my mind at all---not unless I met someone specific whom I felt that sort of connection with, but even then, I probably wouldn't give up being a Jedi to be with them because I'd feel more fulfilled as a Jedi than I would in a romantic relationship.

I honestly don't understand the assumption that the Jedi are miserable because they can't get married, I really don't.

If you feel like you wouldn't be able to be fulfilled without a romantic partner, then that's fine! Everyone's different! We all have different wants and needs! But just accept that you wouldn't be fulfilled without a romantic relationship and stop acting like it's impossible for anyone else to feel differently.

The Jedi all seem perfectly happy as they are.

[tachiisms]

for your daily dose of Zora feels ( that have been sorely lacking for a number of days ) …casual reminder that probably* the first time in two years that Siri heard someone call her by her real name was when her best friend told her she’d betrayed every part of the code. and the next time someone called her by her real name it was when Anakin was blowing her cover. 

probably not the context in which she’d hoped to hear her name.

*I say probably, because I imagine that near the beginning of her mission, the Council members may have called her by her real name in their coded transmissions. but there would have been a transition from that, the deeper under cover she got, for her safety. ( I tend to imagine this switch occurred shortly after she’d officially gotten into Krayn’s organization at the bottom, probably around the time she moved up a little. ) the Council does seem very aware of the danger she’s in at every single moment, and Adi, Mace, and Yoda particularly ( especially Adi ) seem hyper aware of always remembering that if her identity is compromised, she’s dead. 

further casual reminder that if Obi-Wan hadn’t called her by her real name and accused her of betraying the Jedi, then Anakin wouldn’t have even known her real name or her ‘former’ life as a Jedi, and Anakin wouldn’t have been able to blow her cover. 

how much do you think that Siri had always hoped that the first time she’d hear her real name would be Adi telling her she can come home. Adi telling her she’d done well. Adi welcoming her home after the mission was over. Adi telling her she’s proud of her. 

certainly, she wouldn’t have wanted to hear her name thrown in her face by her closest friend, the friend who self-professes to know her better than anyone. 

and yet a further reminder that Krayn himself then called her by her real name while setting her and Anakin to be executed. almost certainly the one being in the entire galaxy she never wanted to hear say her name.

and yet another reminder that even as he blew her cover, Siri never compromised Anakin’s identity. he did that himself by calling the Jedi ‘us.’ Siri probably could have thrown him under the bus to save herself and worry about breaking him out later, but she didn’t. she never once confirmed her identity as a Jedi or Anakin’s. and she didn’t even speak freely to him until she’d checked their cell for listening devices, to ensure that she didn’t compromise him in any way even after he blew her two-year operation. 

and she never blames Anakin for blowing her cover once he’s realized what he’s done. she immediately brushes off his apology as unnecessary, telling him that her risks are her own, that he isn’t to blame, and then makes him laugh by lightly teasing Obi-Wan. two years of work in hell set to end in public execution, and she doesn’t even once say ‘yeah, kid, how about learning to keep your mouth shut or like, chill for five seconds.’ no. she goes out of her way to make him as comfortable as possible whilst locked in a cell set to be execution. 

.....this started out as a casual reminder about how the context in which she was called her real name for the first time in nearly two years had to hurt, and ended up sort of rambling about the depth of Siri’s goodness. because really, where this has spiraled towards is one more reminder: that is is incredibly badass of Siri to have been able to spend two years undercover doing and seeing seriously bad shit, and not lose her humanity or her goodness throughout it. did she get a little rough around the edges? yes. did everything that she did undercover haunt her until her death? yes. but did she somehow manage to remain a deeply good, caring, person? yes.