#I have a Smokey and the Bandit one

[cosmicreptile]

If y’all could see the visions I’m constructing in my mind for future Lyra performances I wanna do. I feel like an animal chewing its own limb off with the shit I’m cooking up in here.

[earlycuntsets]

"Wanted: 1979 Pontiac Trans Am

Tuesday March 24, 2009 | Posted by: Gerard

Some of you, who have seen my twitter about wanting a 1979 Pontiac Trans Am, may be asking yourselves, "Is this for real?"

And my answer to you is one-hundred percent MFR ("Mad Fucking Real" for short).

Some of you may be asking, "Why?" , so I provided this photograph to answer your questions, and if you need further persuasion-

Quite simply, I need the vehicle for "research and exploration". I will be researching the high-voltage hydra known as the 9th dimension , I will be exploring the barriers of speed and time, the history of heavy-metal haircuts, and the 24-Hr rest-stop cappuccino.

I will be chasing the "electric-manticore", and unlocking the riddle of "Muscle Mystery" in this muscle-machine, and it will most likely occur in the desert.

Now that I've assuaged your curiosity, here's what I'm looking for, more or less, and some might think I'm picky, but I think you should be picky when looking for such an important piece of scientific equipment.

***What I want*** First and foremost, I want a good car. It doesn't have to be great, it doesn't need to have been kept in an airtight garage for 30 years, but I would prefer something that's not a piece of shit. I would like it to be in California, close to or within the greater Los Angeles area. I would also like "the fast engine" to show you how much I know about cars, though I have friends with vast automotive knowledge, and my father was a mechanic when I was a child. I want it to run, run well, and have no rust. Oh and it needs to be an automatic, as I can't drive stick (suprise!).

***Colors and specifics*** Exteriors (in order of awesome): Silver, the color of steel, and the eye of the falcon. Faded, slightly shitty, or semi-bombed out looking Nocturne Blue. This color looks great with some age. Mad-Max Black. Shitty bombed-out Red/Orange

Obviously I am looking for something with a bit of character but I will settle for better shape for a better car.

I am open to other things but I absolutely do not want Gold, Brown, or that frigging Smokey and The Bandit car- that shit is whack.

Interiors (again in "awesome order") Red leather (combined with a silver exterior is an ideal car for me- like a fucking Mach-5 red-velvet cupcake with Terminator 2 frosting) Black leather (of course) Blue (cuz it's cool, but this limits what I can paint the exterior if I choose to do so) Interior material is not as much a deal breaker as a bad color.

I've seen the "Anniversary Edition" '79 Trans and I like it but something about the silver leather interior rubs me weird. Looks like pudding, and a light color will only stain when I shit my pants as I tear-ass through scorched earth.

T-Tops a BIG plus.

All of this stuff I am semi-flexible on, as I just want a great car, but I think I will know the right one when I see it.

***Important*** No scams or hustles. I won't have cash on me, and I'm not important enough to kidnap, but if you've got the right car and the right "vibe" I can find us someone important enough to kidnap together- IN-THE-CAR-YOU-JUST-SOLD-ME. Like, for example, the Jonas Brothers. I have been on T.V. and I have access.

You bring the 'bird- I'm bringing "British Steel" by Judas Priest.

xo g

PS- Thanks for everyone's help thus far- you guys are great. I will be looking in the twitter replies for leads. ***Update*** I have noticed that some people are wondering if I am having a mid-life crisis or asking why I am not buying a station wagon or something for a baby. Answers! Firstly, I am only 31, so I have a bit of time before that whole "crisis" thing, and secondly- I've run the numbers on car safety and have come to the conclusion that this IS the car for the baby. This thing is a tank. Usually, when people get into accidents while driving a Trans Am they usually ask "How is the other guy?". Trust me. I got this."

from gerards blog on mychemicalromance.com 03/24/2009

[ladykailitha]

Just a little fluff to start your weekend with.

*

Steve is sitting down in his shared apartment with Eddie reading a magazine, waiting for his boyfriend to get home.

Soon enough his tornado of a boyfriend comes barrelling through the door. He can hear Eddie set something down before walking up to the sofa.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie says softly. “How mad would you be if I brought home a box full of kittens someone had abandoned on the side of the road in this torrential rain?”

Steve lowers the magazine and looks up at Eddie fondly. “That would depend on how many there are? How many you plan on keeping? And how many you plan on giving to the animal shelter?”

Eddie grins. “There are six kittens and I only plan on keeping one?” He pulls a kitten out from under his leather jacket. It’s mostly white with a little black on the tip of her ear and a single circle around her left eye. “Her name is Bandit.”

“Not mad at all, sunshine,” Steve reassures him. “She’s beautiful. Now, come show me the others, too.”

Eddie’s grin broadens. He hands Bandit to Steve who immediately starts scritching her neck. He grabs the sodden box and sets it down in front of Steve.

Steve peers inside to see a cute bundle of fluffs in varying degrees of black to white ratio. But tucked away in the corner, Steve spots the final kitten. He looks up at Eddie and licks his lips. “How mad would you be if I fell in love with a kitten, too?”

Eddie cocks his head to the side and asks which one. Steve pulls out the final kitten, long haired while the others are short haired, and a dark charcoal grey. He meows in protest of being picked up. Steve now has a kitten in each hand and looking like he’s about to cry from the sheer joy of it all.

“Ah, yes,” Eddie said. “You would fall for that one. What are you going to name him?”

Steve grins at him like he’s about tell the biggest pun of his life. “Smokey.”

“As in ‘Smokey and the Bandit’?” Eddie deadpans.

Steve just continues grinning.

Eddie sighs. “Fine. You get Smokey and I get Bandit and we’ll go the shelter tomorrow to get pet supplies and drop off the other kittens.”

Steve hands Bandit back to Eddie as he cuddles close to Smokey. Eddie smiles up at them from his place on the floor. This just might have been the best decision he’s made since he asked Steve to move in with him.

Outside it rains on, but the love in that small apartment is brighter than the sun.

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

I know there are a lot of Top Gun/Top Gun Maverick fics out there for high school, college, rom-com AU’s, sports AU’s, etc.

but I think there’s one type we’ve all been sleeping on

These guys all have names like “Maverick”, “Iceman”, “Slider”, "Hangman”, “Phoenix”, and "Bob”.

…These aren’t just callsigns…

…These are CB handles.

“Smokey and the Bandit” AU anyone…????

[alex-journal]

Creep (Luffy Version)

Click for Zoro [x] Sanji [x] Law [x] Kid [x] Click for Ao3 here [x] Summary: One night, the crew decided to visit a local bar to drink and party. But beside music, booze and food, y/n meets a creepy dude with too much confident. Luckily, Luffy is there to safe the night. Pronouns: he/him cw: creepy dude, unwanted flirting,

As the sun began to set, the Straw hats and their newest member, y/n, wandered into a seedy bar in search of a good time. The atmosphere was dark and smokey, but the crew didn't mind. They were used to party it in any environment, and this place was no exception.

As they made their way to one of the tables at the bar, y/n felt something off and started to feel uneasy. He had never been to a place like this before, and the seedy characters around him were making him nervous. It was one thing to face other pirates, another to face bandits or shady town folks. The crew was too busy enjoying the drinks and music to notice or didn’t care for the tense vibes around them, so y/n tried to brush off his anxiety and join in on the fun.

But as the night went on, things started to take a dark turn. A man at the bar took a liking to y/n and began hitting on him aggressively. y/n tried to ignore him, but the man's persistence was making him uncomfortable. The man switch between complimenting him fore something and talking him down over a similar thing. No matter what y/n said, the creepy dude shrugged it off, as if he would talk to a child that didn’t get his candy. Which made the situation even more uncomfortable for y/n. 

Luffy, who was sitting a few seats away, enjoying his meal, noticed the situation and grew increasingly protective of his crewmate. He could see that y/n was anxious, and he knew that it wouldn't take long for things to escalate if the creep didn’t listen to y/n plead to move on. Either because Luffy puts the guy in his place, or because one of his Crew members solves the situation in their own way to protect y/n.

As the man continued to harass y/n, Luffy jumped into action. With a fierce look in his eyes, and a big smile on his face, he marched over to y/n and the creep. “I think you should go somewhere else.” Luffy stood beside y/n, looking at the man that bothered his friend. For a brief moment, the man had thought about belittling Luffy, maybe punch him, doing something to look strong, but there was something in Luffy’s eyes that made him back down. He felt fear as if he stood in front of a blood lusty monster, ready to strike. The man, intimidated by Luffy's aggressive demeanor, backed down, stuttered an apology to y/n and left the bar.

For a moment, the bar was quiet, everyone unsure what just happened. But as Luffy had his big happy smile on his face, Brook took it as a cue to get the party going again and played on his viola, so they all could continue to celebrate the night away.

Breathing a sigh of relief and a weak smile on his face, y/n looked up at Luffy. “Thanks for saving me, Captain.” “Shihihihi, sure thing. Next time, punch them right in the face, okay y/n?” “Aye, Aye, Captain.” Luffy put an arm around y/n and pulled him with him, so he could make sure no one would try to creep on his friend again. They drank, sang and eat until the early morning.

As they stumbled out of the bar in the early hours of the morning, the crew exchanged stories and laughter, happy to have made another memorable night together. And as they walked into the new dawn, y/n looked at Luffy with an even stronger sense of trust and admiration – knowing that, no matter what, he had his back and that he would do everything for Luffy.

[dballzposting]

CHICHI IS INSANE

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT VIDEL SAYS THAT ??!! She doesn't say anything that explicit in regular DBZ (This is Kai). Even in the subbed version of Kai she doesn't say that.

Interesting verb of choice. There are many ways to communicate what she did, but using the verb "jump" as a transitive verb is honestly one of the nicest ways to put it, obviously it's vulgar but you don't rope in other expletives to make it so, and it's a nice and common verb in its regular usage.

To be honest the only noteworthy (perhaps just the only?) time that I've heard it used that way was in Smokey And The Bandit (1977). Videl has definitely seen that movie and she definitely has thoughts on it. Her father definitely has it on DVD and then also Blue-ray

Chichi changes her tune as soon as she finds out that Videl has money. VERY TYPICAL CHICHI BEHAVIOR.

Gohan is sitting there trying to eat very politely because they have company and he wants to look normal. He does not do anything about the drama of his mother because she is the matriarch and he cannot tell her to mind her manners in any way shape or form or else he'll get the spoon

Gohan Spits Rice All Over Goten's Face and Goten barely even blinks about it. Doesn't even wipe his face. Completely unperturbed. The most he does is that he arrests all activity while it's happening but then as soon as it's over he jumps in with what he's excited to say, much more concerned with the emotional impact of what he's heard rather than the physical impact of what just happened to him.

ALREADY-WROTE-THE-POST EDIT: I raised the audio and exported the video again and I just noticed THE COUGH AND GIGGLE. This is arguably worse. He's not even startled enough to momentarily freeze. He spits and laughs through it. There is nothing that can unsettle this kid

We've repeatedly seen in Goten both an innate sense of justice and a healthy aggression in regards to defending that (off the top of my head: when he demanded that Gohan stop making fun of him that he couldn't fly, when he gets mad at Trunks for breaking the rules during their tournament battle, when he YELLS AT VEGETA when Vegeta knocks Trunks out), but this rice thing is fine. It doesn't at all register as a breach of his boundaries. Sensory wise he is totally okay with it. There was a scene earlier on where he was laughing while a dinosaur licks his face. He's totally cool with this sort of stuff

Honestly he probably gets it, he's done it before. I'm sure that there have been times where he was eating too fast (every time) and then he slips up and starts choking and he has to slam his hand on the table like a grown man and turn to the side and hack onto the floor. And then maybe he offers an "excuse me" to be polite if his mother gives him a chastising look, but otherwise he just goes right back to wolfing shit down. So honestly Gohan spitting rice all over and across the table is nothing new at all. Like Goten has definitely done that.

Again he doesn't even wipe his face before talking. Doesn't even put his bowl down or anything

[frangipanilove]

The Book Of Carol; A Damn Romance Novel...?

...ok hear me out before you go into anaphylactic shock...

I came across an interesting gif set in the Daryl Dixon tag the other day. It was by zehiiro on Tumblr, and I truly thought it was a great observation. I don’t want to tag them in case they'd rather not be dragged into Bethyl/TD stuff and thangs, but the parallels were convincing, and they deserve cred for their observation. Naturally, I interpret it differently than they do, but I will never claim to have the full truth on how anything in TWDU is meant to be interpreted. I can only offer my point of view, and I quite enjoy reading other people's perspectives, it's often very enlightening.

In any case, the parallels are solid, here's a screenshot:

It makes a lot of sense if what we saw in Carol's sneak peak was shot intentionally to reference the scene from 7x10 New Best Friends. This was after Carol and Daryl had been apart for an extended period of time, just as they are in the current timeline. It was directly before they reunited, something we have to assume will happen relatively soon after the sneak peak takes place in current time. And it references a scene that, in my opinion, heralds rebirth, reunion and resurrection. I'll try to explain how below.

In 7x10 New Best Friends, Daryl has an altercation with Richard, because Richard wants to set up Carol to be killed by the Saviors, in an attempt to lure Ezekiel to go to war, along with Rick, against the Saviors.

Daryl, of course, has major objections to the idea. They fight, right next to a trailer decorated with horses, that we later learned was actually used in the movie Smokey and the Bandit. I wrote about that in an old post of mine, read it here.

Interestingly, we saw a callback to that trailer recently in TOWL 1x5 Become...

...after Rick and Michonne had escaped in that yellow car we all knew was a reference to a selection of yellow objects seen through the years...

...such as Beth's yellow polo, and a certain yellow Ford Mustang from season 2...

Remember Carol's blue Ford Mustang? I wrote about it here and here. Mustangs are horses, and I believe these shots were specifically included in reference to the symbolism around Mustangs, and I mean both the horses and the cars here.

This shot of Carol's blue Ford Mustang from TWDDD 1x6 Coming Home, shows the licence plate that points to TWD 5x2, which was when Carol and Daryl discovered a Grady car, and followed it into Atlanta, and eventually located Beth.

And like I expanded on in the post about the yellow symbolism, it all derives from Carol's yellow Jeep Cherokee from season one, plus the aforementioned yellow Ford Mustang from season 2...

...which happens to have the same licence plate as the car that Carol and Daryl drove to follow the Grady car to Atlanta, which eventually led them to Beth...

...and which I believe is a reference to the Lincoln Continental Beth and Daryl hid in in 4x12 Still (because the LC on the licence plate, in my opinion, could represent "Lincoln Continental").

What happens directly after Daryl and Richard's fight by the mustang/horse trailer, is that Daryl makes his way over to Carol's house. He knocks on her door, and reunites with Carol after a long time apart. And what is Carol doing right before she opens her door?

She’s reading a damn romance novel, called Denim Dreams, with a familiar looking Sirius Piggyback on the cover:

Sirius Piggyback; The Literal Book Of Carol

Below, we see the actual Sirius Piggyback from 4x13 Alone, along with the stock photo from Shutterstock that was used as the cover photo for Carol's damn romance novel:

In 4x13 Alone, Daryl carried Beth, piggyback-style, across a cemetary. In 7x10 New Best friends, Carol lived in a little YELLOW house, near a cemetary, enjoying a damn romance novel, with a Sirius Piggyback cover photo...

Those are some darned suspicious coincidences...

Back when 7x10 New Best Friends aired, this caused quite a stir, and it remains to this day one of my favorite Bethyl hints to ever appear in TWDU. Read more about it in these excellent posts from season 7 (here and here).

Later, we see Carol prepare food for Daryl, while explaining why she had to leave. We see the romance novel, with the Sirius Piggyback cover photo, on her bookshelf, right next to a symbol we remember from 5x8 Coda:

My take on the title "Denim Dreams", is that, long story short, "denim" is a blue clue (in the sense that "blue jeans" is an established term). And as I explained in a recent post, "blue" is a synonym for "police". Beth and Rick are both encompassed by the "blue" symbolism, Rick because he's a police officer, Beth because she's "the new sheriff in town". The "pig" in "Sirius Piggyback" refers to the derogatory term for police, "pig", which has been used as symnonomous with "police" several times in TWDU. I wrote about the "pig" symbolism recently in this post, along with my take on the cat symbolism.

Speaking of cat symbolism, there was plenty of that to be found in 7x10 New Best Friends. Here's Rick, articulating what I tried to say in my cat symbolism post:

...to replace the one you lost...

...it's just that sometimes the one you lost can't easily be replaced...

But the cat symbolism is about rebirth, reunion and resurrection, and that's something to hold on to, according to an overwhelming number of characters in this episode...

...which is interesting, concidering a certain someone sang an entire Tom Waits classic on the subject of "holding on" back in season 3:

I know I keep saying that the symbolism we see is about "reunion". I'm not taking that out of thin air. Here's Daryl's commentary as we hear Beth's voice singing "Hold On" in the background:

Straight from the horses mouth there. What Daryl is referring to is the fact that he had just returned to, and reunited with, TF after initially having wandered off with his brother earlier in the season.

So, to circle back to the scene from 7x10, and its parallel, the scene from Carol's sneak peak; they're about reunions. Sure, it's obviously specifically about the imminent reunion between Carol and Daryl, both in 7x10 and in TWDDD seasson 2, which I'm personally looking forward to immensly.

But there are multiple layers to the reunion symbolism in TWDU, many of which speak directly to TD.

Because that damn romance novel, Carol's actual book from 7x10 New Best Friends, The Literal Book Of Carol, is a story about the Sirius Piggyback. And the comment on the damn romance novel from 4x1 was about Beth, that's a 100% undeniable fact:

Sirius means return, rebirth and resurrection. She will be back. Sirius Piggyback.

Perhaps in "The Book Of Carol; a Damn Romance Novel"...

[denningsjawbreaker]

FILMS AND SWEETS

by: denningsjawbreaker

SUMMARY: Young Carol comes to Readers house and they are watching some movie and it's basically a fluff story LMFAOOO. ( Also this is before prison! carol duh ! )

A/N : FIRST SHORT DRAFT I FORGOT TO POST HELP BUT ILL BE MAKING MORE IN THE FUTURE

-

CAROL was currently over at your house and was comfortably laying on the floor with scattered bits of wrappers from her lollipop addiction. You both were currently watching Smokey and The Bandit (which was Carol's idea and there was no arguing with her when it came to Burt Reynolds). She began to feel a bit mischievous during the silence of the film and reached for one of the unopened lollipop and throws it at the back of your head.

" OOMF ! " you turned around and rubs the spot she hit and narrowed at her . She returned with an innocent smile but was chuckling.

" Thought that was funny did ya ? " You asked her as she shrugged her shoulders and leaned back against your bed and sucked on the lollipop. You had a small pout forming as you crawled to sit next to her and looked up at her.

Carol turned to you with a slight smirk and she took out her lollipop and held ur chin with her hand and brought ur face closer to her. " You know I was just messing with you doll. You know how much I love it " she whispers and looks at you up and down before placing a small chaste kiss against your plump lips.

You're pout quickly turned into a huge smile and melted in the palm of her hands. No matter what Carol did you knew she would always have this HOLD on you. She was just your favorite person ever and just spending time with Carol just made you happy and as much as Carol tries to hide it you DEFINITELY made her shitty life way tolerable.

" Doll, what do you say ? Forgive me and we can watch The Longest Yard " she asks while playing with your hair and is smirking a bit . You shake head and playfully cross your arms.

" Care, you promised me after this we would watch the Lost Boys though " you whined and wrapped your arms around your Burt Obsessed bird girlfriend . She pouts and sighs and looks at her Burt Poster she plastered on your wall since your room was basically her room .

" You really want me to deny Burt..." she asked in a small voice with her head tilt at you lowkey making her glasses fall onto the tip of her nose. You sigh and purse your lip looking at Carol who was making it harder for you to resist .

With a groan of loss you go over to your VHS tapes and put in " The Longest Yard " and you sit back with Carol who had a wide smile and was holding your her blanket as the movie began and looks at you.

" You are the best thing that's ever happened to me ! You know that? " she exclaims with a bit of a squeal and kisses your cheek and pulls you closer to her and wraps her arms around you while sharing the blanket .

You smiled at her happiness as you both enjoyed the 6th Burt Movie y'all watched tonight. You didn't actually mind though because all you needed was the HAPPINESS of Carol and her being happy and cared for.

" Can We watch Deliverance next ?" Carol asked and you chuckle.

" Let's just finish this one first before we get ahead of ourselves - "

" What- I don't get ahead- "

" Carol... "

" Fine..." Carol sighs and pouts while holding you still but she has a small smile as she feels your hand rubbing circles on her skin. Both of you enjoying the movie with no worries or stress.

This is what's most important .

-

[ PLS comment if you'd like to be featured in my future tagged list for Carol stories ]

[quitealotofsodapop]

When the five new fruit babies arrive, does this mean Smokey's pilgrimage is over?

I mean it's one thing to have Xiao Qi and the two wolf siblings along, but add in five more baby monkeys? Reborn!Pigsy is no doubt putting his hoof down if they are, they are not childcare service.

Well... Smokey/Reborn!SWK was about a couple years into a pilgrimage thats meant to take like 9/17 canon years when he and Liang/Reborn!LEM got the accidental windfall of baby monkeys.

It happens during the "Macaque" chapter where SWK gets kicked out by Xuanzang/Tripitaka for killing the bandits. LEM def defends Smokey's actions - violently once he witnesses Tripitaka using the Headache sutra on SWK. Lets just say a monk almost got folded until Pigsy and Sandy stepped in.

Cue the 3 monkeys + 2 wolf kids leaving on a a sommersault cloud to;

Complain to Guanyin.

Drop the kids off at FFM so they can introduce them to the good, zero-monk life while SWK has a small emotional breakdown.

Check up on that weird tree they planted a while back- WHAT THE?!

The Weird Tree: *looks like a peach tree, but has 5 infant monkey-shaped fruit* SWK & LEM: "UHHH..." Zhu Yu (wolf child 1#): "Those are the ugliest pears I've ever seen." Xiao Qi: *bouncing excitedly for some reason*

At first the adult monkeys think maybe the fruits are ginseng/manfruits that just look kinda weird? Until it requires both of their strength to pull one off a branch, and then the peach-skin-like coating of the "fruit" sloughs off and reveals a squalling newborn baby monkey.

SWK & LEM, both covered in fruit juice: "Oh my-" "-Sweet Guanyin." The Four other "fruits": *start swaying and making cry-chirps* SWK & LEM: "UH OH." Xiao Qi: "Yay!!!" Wolf siblings: *confusedly licking their new sibling clean*

Smokey has to manifest a few baby/fruit baskets so him and Liang can literally catch the other four as they drop naturally. Seems that picking the eldest fruit "woke up" the others.

And when its all done, they have five very grumpy infant monkeys that smell like fruit. And once the youngest dropped, the tree curled in on itself like a wilted flower and seemed to revert to a sterile trunk.

The two monkeys are shaken, covered in not-fruit juice, and theres five babies screaming in their ears + their three extant kids running around excitedly.

SWK, holding four baskets: "...we really should have stayed with Master." LEM, still in shock while holding the eldest of the five: "Maybe we can bribe him with one?'

Guanyin soon manifests to explain that she gave Tripitaka a talking to about abandoning his student. She pauses mid-sentence, looks at the two parent monkeys, blinks, and admits a little sheepishly;

Guanyin: "I blessed your false-ginseng tree to give you children once you had returned from your journey. It seems that the tree misinterpeted your banishment as your return." SWK (almost all limbs occupied with rocking a cub to sleep): "YOU THINK!?" Guanyin: "My blessings multiply depending on the desire of the parents." SWK & LEM: *nervously glances at one another* *Later when all the pilgrims reunite* SWK & LEM: *both look sleep deprived, and are covered in baby monkeys* Pigsy: "WHOA... how long did we leave you two alone for?" LEM: "A whole day." Pigsy: "You worked fast then!" XD SWK: "Pigsy I swear to buddha, I'll throw you into the Mother-Child River if you make another joke."

SWK has a small crisis of choice now. He can't leave Master alone or he'll definitely get eaten. But he doesn't want to be an absent figure to his kids - and Xiao Qi has made his intentions to continue on the pilgrimage no matter what.

SWK & LEM: *share a look* Pigsy: "No. Absolutely not." SWK: "I can't leave Liang alone on the island with five babies. It's not fair." Sandy: "And we'll need them if Xiao Qi wishes to continue on with us..." Pigsy: "NO." Tripitaka: "We aren't a nursery service." Pigsy: "Thank you!" Tripitaka, places hand on SWK's shoulder: "We're family." Pigsy: "Noooo!" *Cut to each Pilgrim holding a baby* Pigsy, threateningly: "You two best keep it in your pants from now on!" SWK: "Thats not how they were made!" Pigsy: "I don't wanna even hear about your bedroom activities!" Xiaolizi/Little Plum: *squeaks angrily from Pigsy's back* Pigsy: "See? Even he's tired of it!"

Each Pilgrim gets a fruit baby to hold.

Pigsy is very upset by this turn of events, but luckily his little buddy (Plum) backs him up in his rantings ("Meh!" "Thats what I'm saying!").

Sandy is just rattling off history facts and stories to Cherry while the baby just "ooo"s and giggles at everything he says.

Tripitaka gets Peach, cus the little girl is the easiest to hold and seems interested in the monk's vague Buddhist sayings.

Apricot just *leaps* onto Ao Lie's back and refuses to be moved less he starts crying. The dragon-horse feels a little smug to be his favorite.

Jujube has to be kept close to the monkey parents or else she tries running off to cause mischief. Very much her Baba's daughter.

Xiao Qi is still a Baba's boy, and will 100% cling to Smokey if his hands are free. The wolf kids feel a little left out at times, but Liang is quick to focus attention on them when the fruity babies are causing a fuss. A few of the babies learn how to transform into wolf pups so they can run together as a mini-pack (Apricot prefers to be a horse foal).

As for the potential dangers of having so many small children on this journey? While both monkey parents would have *preferred* to have raised the cubs on FFM, they know that they can do so much more good in the world while travelling.

And a lot of demons would look at the pilgrim group like; "Are those monks? Sweet Yama! How many baby demons are there? They def aren't good monks in any case. Ain't worth my time." XD

We are talking about super-powerful, nigh-indestructible, nature-healing babies after all. The real people in danger are whoever dares think they can handle a baby in a fair fight.

[gaykarstaagforever]

I've never liked James Bond movies, other than like two of the Pierce Brosnan ones, and only now because of nostalgia. They're boring when chases aren't happening and too long and his gadgets are unjustifiably impossible and the villains are idiots with stupid schemes, and no one ever just shoots the bastard, leaving him to constantly get out of situations by deus ex machina or blind luck. I don't know what people want from these movies, what makes the "good" ones good or the "bad" ones bad, or why anyone is invested in any of this.

That said, I just watched what is, to me now, the one genuinely good Bond movie: 1973's Live and Let Die.

Bond fights a technologically-advanced drug-dealing voodoo pimp / Caribbean island dictaror, whose evil plan involves giving away a billion dollars of heroin for free. And this plan also involves him somehow successfully killing like 4 secret agents, plus, oh yeah, voodoo and tarot magicks are probably actually real?

This feels like white people mistakenly deciding they know enough about Black people in 1973 to make a movie about their world, and it is exactly as problematic and insane as you'd expect. And I loved every minute of it.

Such gleeful stupidity, done with such a straight face, is a beauty to behold. There is also a 10 minute sequence that is just Smokey and the Bandit, complete with a fat racist idiot Southern sheriff and incompetant Louisiana state police, who get their cars completely destroyed in slapstick comedy wrecks where people crash off ramps into bogs but no one ever gets hurt.

...Except this came out 5 years before Smokey and the Bandit, and maybe the same weekend as the similar White Lightning, so I have no idea who was stealing what from whom. I guess 1973 was just the year to start making fun of Southern law enforcement with funny car accidents.

I'm not complaining. I love this crap. It's just such a specific thing for multiple creatives to seize on at exactly the same moment. I suppose art, like voodoo, is endlessly mysterious.

I got the impression this movie is a critical pariah and was a flop, but neither is true. It made tons of money, and while people in general didn't and don't like Roger Moore as Bond, it seems most people enjoyed the frenetic weirdness going on here.

This was Moore replacing Connery, who set the iconic 1960s Bond bar. Like, hostility to anything new and different was inevitable. I don't feel strongly about Connery's Bond either way, because a lot of those movies are impossibly slow and his charm doesn't redeem them. So I like Moore here. He seems like he's still figuring out how to do the character his way, but that is also inevitable. But he's drool and wry and unflappable, and any lack of charm is fine, considering the movie is far more about jumping from one ridiculous situation to another at a break-neck pace. Bond is really just along for the kooky ride, and Moore manages that.

I love the cars and the costumes. This is peak early 70s, so everything is big and bright primary colors, from the cars to the collars and neckties, to the platform shoes and afro wigs. All the suits have vests. VESTS! The villain dresses his henchmen in bright bluejeans with scarlet polo shirts tucked in. They look like Target associates went rogue. It's beautiful.

Any more analysis of the plot than I've already offered is pointless, because this is a Bond movie. So even at peak wannabe-Blaxploitation goofiness, he's still boldly walking into obvious traps, inappropriately trying to trick certainly-evil women into sleeping with him, and solving every problem with a gimmick watch and desperate flailing that somehow knocks people out.

I don't know why anyone bothers setting elaborate traps for him. Just send a guy to pick him up. He'll know exactly that you've done that and get in the car anyway. That happens twice in this movie! And the same guy is driving!

The watch in this one has an industrial-strength magnet in it, and also the face spins and acts like a tiny buzzsaw. And, fine. That's the right kind of stupid. But how the hell does all that work on tiny watch batteries? I can't forget about that, which is why Bond movies aren't for me. And it makes Bond look bad, because anyone with that watch could probably do exactly what he does. ...Except probably the thing where he uses the magnet to undo the zipper on a woman's dress. That's very specifically a Bond thing, the cheeky predator.

But he's not the only incompetent gadabout, here. Most of the story takes place in the US, and he's working with the CIA. And they are AT LEAST as bad at everything as he is. But they don't have magic watches, so I guess that's why they keep getting stabbed, and poisoned by voodoo snakes, and have to call him in, to do whatever the hell this is:

Jane Seymour is also here. She is a possibly biracial? tarot witch who has virgin powers, and is owned by the Black villain. She gets manhandled and molested all the time, especially by Bond, and his deflowering of her is a major plot point.

As I said before, there are some problematic things going on here.

But the whole affair is so earnestly cheesy and high-energy that it's hard to find fault. They were going for schlock, and they schlocked it. James gets cornered by a hundred people doing a deadly swamp voodoo ritual that involves human sacrifice and a magic robot, and after some of them charge him with machetes, he responds by blindly firing into the crowd and murdering a bunch of them. This culminates with him getting captured by the villain for like the third time, and the guy acts like all this was just part of his plan.

Then Bond wrestles with him a little near a shark tank, but kills him with a Looney Tunes device. 1960s Batman showed more restraint than this. The Austin Powers movies barely referenced this one, because it is already a parody of spy movies. It is a thing of messy, stupid brilliance.

If you don't like Bond movies, this is the Bond movie for you. Everyone can get a laugh out of this, even if they're only laughing at it.

(Also the theme is the best Bond theme ever, but everyone already knows that. It opens the movie with naked women dancing around flaming skulls. That alone probably makes it the best Bond movie.)

[itjazzbicch]

Giving in

Pairing:  Smoker x Lieutenant!Fem Reader 

First time writing for Smoker, so I hope I did well! 

Summary: Returning to the Marines after an injury and reuniting with her vice admiral, Smoker, the reader convinces him to have a fun night where they both give in to some hidden thoughts...

Warnings:  SMUT! (18+ ONLY! MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!) Swearing, drinking/drunk sex, unprotected sex, use of devil fruit powers (in a good way *wink*), oral M receiving

Word Count: 1.5k 

“Where do you think you’re going, huh?!”

Awe, poor Smokey didn’t catch these pirates in one swoop? He must’ve lost his touch a little while I was gone.

His footsteps seized in the dark alley, taking guard and thinking he was facing another threat as I fell from a balcony, giving a quick pound to those bandits, my voice making him ease up:

“There’s no point in running. So, quit your squirming!”

“Y/N?” Guess Smokey needed to see me to believe it, getting just that as I showed my face in the sunlight, smiling at him:

“Hey, Smokey! Did ya miss me? Hehe!”

“When did you get out of the infirmary?” A couple of weeks back, I got tangled in a mess with some big-time pirates; I got shot in the process, so I was out of commission, but I was back and happy to see Smokey, keeping my explanation short:

“Yesterday!”

“Are you fully recovered?” Of course, he had more questions, playing off with a swat of my hand:

“I’m like new. Don’t worry about me. Let’s worry about these punks, huh? Looks like you lost your touch while I was gone.”

“Yeah, right,” He rolled his eyes at me, blowing smoke from his cigars, coming and helping me take in the bandits I caught.

It took some persuasion, but we had nothing important on our agenda when we were done, so I talked him into going and getting some drinks.

Believe it or not, Smokey knew how to have some fun. We lost track of time in the bar, having more rounds than I probably should have, but I was all smiles.

“Oh man, Smokey!” I laughed while he told me some things that happened while I was gone, holding his knee from wheezing but smiling at him, “I missed you! I’m so happy I’m out of that damn infirmary. It was starting to drive me mad.”

“Missed you too, you silly drunk,” He teased, standing up and wrapping one of my arms around him.

“Awe, we’re ending the party already?!” I pouted but followed, pouting more at his words:

“You’ll live. We got work to do tomorrow, and the last thing I need is a hung-over lieutenant.”

“Okay, okay,” I sighed, heading back to our temporary headquarters, resting against his chest, picking my head up to smile, “I had fun tonight, and I promise you, I’m better than ever. You won’t have to worry about me, alright?”

I knew that the news of me getting fatally wounded worried him when he first learned about it, but that was in the past. Wanting it to stay there and look forward to the future, kissing his cheek as I cooed softly:

“Goodnight, Vice-admiral.”

Just when I thought it was time to call it a night, things took a wild turn that I didn’t see coming, his lips finding mine before I could turn away.

Despite the bitter taste of lingering liquor and cigars, just that tiny kiss made my blood run hot, and I was surprised by the softness of his lips.

Pulling back and standing up straight, I kept blinking, trying to process that he just kissed me. He was doing the same. It was clear that he subconsciously gave in to some thoughts.

“Y/N, I-“

“Wrong or right,” I whispered, needing a breath, hands gripping his jacket, the desire for more settling into my eyes and voice, “You should do that again. What harm would it do?”

“Ugh,” He sighed, debating before giving into his thoughts, mumbling while returning to my lips, “Screw it.”

He was always so uptight and liked to stay professional, but the way he kissed me and gripped my hips showed that he couldn’t fight it, backing me into my room, koala hugging him with my tongue roaming his mouth, the groan he let out with a tight squeeze of my thighs making me giggle:

“Relax a little, Smokey. You did kiss me first, by the way.”

“You know something?” Clinging to the back of his neck while he threw off his jacket, I only cocked my eyebrow at him, suddenly sunk into the mattress from his weight, a little hard to breathe as he kissed, “You talk too much.”

His kiss was so hot, our hips started to grind against one another. It only took moments for me to lose any damns that I gave.

“Oh, it’s like that?” I panted, finding room between kisses to start throwing off my clothes, hands roaming over his muscles and down to his belt buckle, just for my wrists to be taken by smoke and pinned above my head.

All he did was chuckle at me, his devil fruit powers keeping me still, only able to watch the little show presented to me as his pants and briefs disappeared, the sight of him fully nude making me pant again:

“You’re lucky that you’re so hot.”

“That right?” He chuckled, fixing himself between my legs, gasping at his cock, stretching me, bodies radiating massive heat.

“So hot!” I whined, responding to his actions rather than his words, shaking just from being fed his tip, hips working to give me more.

“Lost that sass of yours pretty quick,” Taunting me put a giant smirk on his face, never seeing me so submissive to anything, hand squeezing and fondling my breasts as they bounced from his thrusts, my back arching from the nudges against my sweet spot, lips glistening as I babbled out:

“A-Alright! I get it! Jus-; Ugh, keep makin’ me feel g-good!”

At that moment, our little teasing game ended, his smoke disappearing and freeing my hands, coming closer and letting me get the contact I needed, having my knees almost touch my shoulders, thrusting his cock deeper, and quickly learning why I gave up the attitude.

“You’re so fucking good, Smokey-y, uh! Ahh!”

Not having my needs fulfilled in such a long time just to be rammed by these sudden bursts of pleasure had my ears ringing, all those drinks from earlier catching up to me and making me feel as if I were on a different planet or something.

Hearing a gush before feeling such a wet mess down my thighs and ass, Smokey showed some care as he slowed his pace, leaving some kisses on my neck as he asked:

“Still feeling good?”

“Mhm,” I huffed before looking to meet his gaze with my puppy dog eyes, “One more time?”

“Sure you can handle it?”

“Want me to prove myself or something?” There was no denying that he had me down pretty good at that moment, but if I had to hop into the driver seat, I’d be more than happy to, taken off guard by his tender whisper:

“That’s okay, sweetheart. You’re gonna get one more round.”

“O-Oh! Oh shi-“ Wrapping around and clinging to him again, I didn’t realize how hard I was squeezing his cock till he lifted me in a hug, throwing his hips upward, and the friction along with the blow I felt in the pit of my stomach nearly took me out.

“Literally fucking you senseless, huh?” Seeing that I was practically drooling on his shoulder, only up and still to his strength, his words gave me some energy, another rush that would lead me to another great mountain of bliss.

Getting a hold of myself to the best of my abilities, I held his face, kissing while slipping off my tongue:

“Don’t count me out just yet.”

Kissing was barely holding back my moans while throwing myself down onto his cock and meeting his thrusts, feeling a pinch as both made him go deeper, but not daring to stop as I felt pressure building up heavily.

Even he couldn’t hold back the groans and rumbles in his chest, feeling his biceps tense up, fingertips nearly digging into the meat of my ass, cock slightly throbbing.

“Just a little more,” I moaned like an Angel in his ear, hugging his head and pushing my aching hips through this one last crusade, “I’m cuming again!”

The moan coming out of me was cut to silence the second my orgasm released with a tight clench around his cock, even messier than the first time; not sure if I was even breathing while becoming limp against him.

“Damn it, Y/N,” I heard him whisper with a rumble, placing me off his cock carefully, his hand quickly holding himself just for me to take it, putting it on my head.

On my stomach, I still had it in me to wrap my lips around the tip of his cock, pumping his shaft with a faint wrist, but still had enough to make his cock throb hard, mouth flooded with his seed, looking up to show I swallowed without a drop missed, kissing his tip and licking up what little oozed from his slit.

“F-Fuck,” His heavy breaths fell onto me with his hand forming a fist in my hair; I batted my eyelashes at him, being a little sassy again:

“It’s the least I can do.” 

2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome 

[hermesserpent-stuff]

23 for the song one shot Spotify wrapped!

i went a little nutty. heres some explanation but also there is reckless driving, sorta so if you dont like that dont read these sillies.

Yes I understand the movie smokey and the bandit is not realistic, yes I know it is inspired by the general anger of truckers in the 1970s and the fact Coors would expire so they did not want to give a license for it to cross-state lines west of the Mississippi. (which you needed a permit to enter each state to enter with a liquor load)  ahhhhh 

All this to say mutants are real in marvel so I'm fudging the laws and Henri runs blocker for bootlegging trucks. He drags Remy along and they have fun. 

set pre road trip au start!!

Remy kicks his feet up on his brother's dash blowing a bubble. 

“Looks like a speed trap ahead.”

He notes and his brother picks up the CB radio. 

“How many Smokies you be seein’?”

His brother asks while checking that they are on the right channel to reach the truck that they are running blocker for. His brother had snatched him away from the tail end of his last mission, calling up their papa and simply telling him that Remy and him needed some bonding time. Remy had easily agreed. The fourteen-year-old thinks his eighteen-year-old brother is the coolest person out there. Driving fast, stealing easily, and vanishing like a thief should. And standing up to their papa when he feels like things are wrong. And their papa actually would back down. 

“Hmm. looks like three. All sorta tucked away behind that treeline at the turn-off.”

“Gotcha, Gambo.” Henri then clicks on his CB radio and chirps into it. “Breaker, breaker, Quicksilver Henri here. You got ears on Broken Bill?”

“They're on.”

“You need to back it down, good buddy. We got a bear in the bushes at yardstick twenty-two.”

“10-4 good buddy. Slow and steady.”

Remy mentally runs through the terms, working quick to understand the terms that fill his brother’s world. His brother runs most of the Guild’s missions related to bootlegging and illegal transport. CB radio lingo spills from Henri’s lips just as easily as Cajun French.

“Bear in the bushes… is the police’s speed trap?”

Remy asks wanting to make sure. Henri grins at him and ruffles his hair.

“Oui. You catchin’ on quick Rook. Mais, you better not forget;  I got more miles going in reverse than you got going forward.”

“Course you do! I can't drive yet.”

Remy says while rolling his eyes. He blows and pops a bubble. Henri laughs warmly and shakes his head a little. Remy hums at the warm emotions swirling around him, filling his mind with a gentle heat. They drive for a while longer and then the radio crackles.

“Hey, Quick, need some bear bait. Have someone knocking on my back door, and I've got an itchy feelin’ about this one.”

“10-4 good buddy. Dropping back. What's your twenty?”

The man quickly states and Henri nods and closes the call.

“Alright Gambo, feet off the dash. We gotta go huntin’ bear.”

Remy sits up, eyes glimmering a little. His brother is one of the best drivers he has ever ridden with. And running blocker gives his brother so many opportunities to show off. Henri had nearly every backroad and interconnected roadways and highways and could make his modified vehicles fly. It was the reason he had gotten the CB radio handle of Quicksilver attached to the front of his name. 

They end up right behind the truck that is hauling the illegal transport, as it lacks permits and was most definitely dodging taxes to get a bit more profit. And the fact that it was going to a dry county made any conversation with the cops a fraught minefield of jail time. Henri pulls alongside the police car that does seem to be eyeing up Broken Bull’s tags. He drops back to build up some running room and make sure that he’ll be noticed. Then, he presses the accelerator to the floor, whooping as the car jumps forward like a horse frothing at the bit to race. The result is immediate and the cop car is immediately on their tail, sirens a crooning and the lights a flashing. 

Remy grips tight as they fly down a twisting cloverleaf and the police sticks with them. Henri then spins the wheel as he surges the car through traffic, threading the needle and ignoring the red light with practiced ease. They make it out the other side and rush down a side road that runs parallel to the highway. They cut through a track in the woods that no one knows is there except Guild blockers. They surge back onto the highway and Remy lets out a breath while Henri snorts.

“Aww, I scare you petit?”

“I'm not scared! I can handle it!”

Remy argues back, not wanting to be disinvited. 

“Shh. It's alright. Just teasin’. I know you can handle it. Mais, you’re smart. You're not in control. So bein’ scared is healthy. Alright?”

“Oui.”

“Good. now, lucky us, the drops not too far. Broken Bull should get there fine. We need to pull off and change tags just in case he needs a little more help. You got your screwdriver?”

Remy holds it up and Henri grins.

“Clever petit. Imma make sure you get a big big dinner!” 

[moviehealthcommunity]

One of our Patrons, specifically Peter from the $5 tier, came up with an excellent idea for Movie Health Community that I'd like to make happen right here and now: a curated list of movies that are safe for photosensitive audiences to watch! Out of the 1074 movies we've evaluated so far, 130 of them have a Flashing Lights score of 0 or 1, so here is that list of 130 titles, in alphabetical order.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin 80 for Brady Abominable Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret Away From Her A Bad Moms Christmas The Ballad of Buster Scruggs The Beguiled The Big Sick Billy Madison Book Club: The Next Chapter The Breakfast Club Casablanca Cheaper by the Dozen (2022) The Christmas Chronicles A Christmas Story Christmas Christopher Robin Cinderella (2015) Clerks Cocaine Bear Coco Coming to America Crazy Rich Asians Crimson Peak Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Cyrano Daddy's Home Daddy's Home 2 Dear Evan Hansen Dirty Dancing Dogma Dolores Claiborne Downhill Downton Abbey Drive My Car Eight Crazy Nights Elemental Elf Enemy Ever After: A Cinderella Story Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile The Fighting Preacher Five Feet Apart Gladiator Going in Style The Goldfinch Good Will Hunting Green Book The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug The Hurt Locker The Hustle I Don't Know How She Does It The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild In Bruges Inglourious Basterds Instant Family Interview with the Vampire It's a Wonderful Life Jojo Rabbit Kimi Knives Out Last Christmas The Laundromat Little Women (2019) Lizzie Logan Lucky The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Luca Lying and Stealing Ma Rainey's Black Bottom A Madea Christmas Madea's Family Reunion Madea's Witness Protection Maleficent: Mistress of Evil Mallrats A Man Called Otto The Many Saints of Newark Marriage Story Mary Poppins Returns Mary Queen of Scots The Menu Miracle on 34th Street (1994) Misery Monty Python's Life of Brian Mrs. Doubtfire The Muppet Christmas Carol Muppet Treasure Island Murder Mystery Night at the Museum Office Space On the Basis of Sex Pan's Labyrinth The Perfection The Polar Express The Power of the Dog A Prayer Before Dawn Psycho (1960) Psycho (1998) Pulp Fiction The Report The Rhythm Section Rise of the Planet of the Apes Roma The Room Rudy The Santa Clause The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause Seven Psychopaths The Shallows Shanghai Noon Shaun the Sheep Movie The Shining Shrek the Third Smokey and the Bandit Son In Law Spencer The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) Three Thousand Years of Longing Ticket to Paradise Uncut Gems United 93 West Side Story (1961) The Whale Windfall The Wizard of Oz Women Talking Won't You Be My Neighbor? Worth Zombieland: Double Tap

[malix4583]

Intro

It's about time I made of one these.

My name is Malix, I am a trans man, I go by he/him pronouns, I am Asian-American, I support Palestine, and there is a high possibility of me being a furry.

I have lots of interests:

Five Nights at Freddy's, Bendy and the Ink Machine, The Walking Dead Games by Telltale, Red Dead Redemption II, Mouthwashing, Smokey and the Bandit, Brokeback Mountain, of course, the Dollars Trilogy and Westerns in general, and more. I am also very interested in American history.

I also ship a lot. My favorite ships are:

Normmy/Prophectionist (batim), Vandermatthews (rdr2), Kenlee (twdg), and Mantimer/Mancomer (fafdm).

Here's what to expect from this page:

Lots of art, me going feral over my interests, edits of my interests every once in a blue moon because they never get any attention on TikTok, sharing headcanons I may have, me going feral over my favorite characters, sharing and explaining theories, lots of silly responses to people through reblogs, me going feral over art, giving unnecessary in-depth analysis about my interests, me going feral over the love you all give (you guys are so awesome), and me going feral.

I do not necessarily have a DNI list. Don't worry about thinking you're annoying by spamming or anything, I am perfectly okay with that. Everybody is welcome here except for obviously horrible people (bigots INCLUDING terfs let's make that very clear, pedos, zoos, etc.), but if you are caught on here ruining my, or other people's fun, you will be blocked (and reported IF necessary.)

That's about it, but I will update this if I ever think of anything else I may want to add.

[trivialbob]

Last night I watched some clips from Smokey and the Bandit. As a kid I watched that movie in a theater. In those days I was genuinely sad when movies ended, and we had to leave the theater. Smokey and the Bandit was no different.

No matter how much I begged, my parents would not install a CB radio in our station wagon. They probably never even watched how much fun Bandit had.

This morning I decided I would cross state lines to buy beer that is not available in Minnesota. I donned my motorcycle gear and headed east to Wisconsin: land of cheese, beef sticks, more cheese, deer carcasses on highway shoulders, and--of course--lots of beer.

My destination was Nelson, WI. It's a pleasant 90 minute ride from home. The outside temperature rose as I rode down US 35, along the Mississippi River and Lake Pepin. Since I was hot my first top was the Nelson Creamery for ice cream. This time I didn't drip any on my hands or clothing. The creamery also sells cheese, beef sticks, and more cheese. I selected some items to bring home in my little cooler.

Whenever meat or cheese is priced per pound I examine every package and select the one with the lowest price. They all look the same, so to me I'm just wisely saving money. Here I saved $0.16 with the one in the top of the picture, but there's no way anyone can tell the two packages of string cheese are any different.

The creamery also sells local beer and wine. The Spotted Cow I wanted they didn't have in cans. A small liquor store a block away had those cans.

With cheese, beer, beef sticks and some more cheese on board, I crossed the river and headed for home, going up along the river on the Minnesota side.

[primevein]

The Prime of His Youth: Book V: Where There's Smoke: Ch05: Fleeting

Ultra-Magnus appeared on the Phthia's main screen, with Smokescreen looking at him. "Sergeant?" Ultra-Magnus asked, "I will require a full report."

"It will be filed." Smokescreen stated, and Ultra-Magnus gave him a curious look. "If you recall, earlier, we talked about the issue with the Ground - Bridge - Power - Supply on Terra?" He paused for a moment, as nothing occured to Ultra-Magnus, "We talked about it before our return to New Kalis." A moment or two passed until a look of shock appeared on Ultra-Magnus' face. "It happened again. I will be seeing to it." Smokescreen stated.

It took a moment for Ultra-Magnus to recover, and did his best to develop a neutral expression. "Understood." he soundly stated.

"As for the report, I am having the Archivists double-check it before I submit it." Smokescreen stated.

"I will be looking forward to it." Ultra-Magnus stated.

"Phthia, Out." Smokescreen stated, and the screen went blank.

* * *

Soundwave, in the dark looked at the screen, the faint light reflecting off his visor. Without looking away, he brought up a video from his archives. The video showed the keycard Jack was carrying during his first time on Cybertron. Captured from various angles, he was quickly able to assemble a 3-dimensional frame of it. The Key to Vector Sigma. The last Prime to rise did so unexpectedly. This time, he had options. The question was who to call. He opened his contacts, the colossal list of tiny names and faces scrolling on his monitor.

* * *

Smokescreen appeared on the Ion's main screen, "June." he warmly said.

"Smoke... eee.. Smokey?" she nervously asked.

"Miko put you up to that?" Smokescreen neutrally asked. June nervously looked about. "I'm not complaining."

"You're not?" she hopefully asked.

"The problem is we never decided if it was my name or my title." Smokescreen neutrally stated.

"Title?" June asked, "I thought you were a sergeant?"

"It's from an old movie." Smokescreen stated.

June thought it over for a moment. "Wait?" she asked. She gave Smokescreen a curious look.

"Smokey and the Bandit." Smokescreen said with a bright smile. "It's a great movie. Human culture does things we've never even imagined. Anyways, I'm here to relay the plan. Stormwright will be flying the Skyfall. The Elite Guard will fly down first, and start our quest."

"Quest?" June asked, and Smokescreen gave her a solem look. He paused a moment before continuing.

"Once we're down, the Skyfall will come and pick up Japheth."

"You mean Jack." June said, trying to smile.

"And anyone else He wants to bring with Him." Smokescreen replied. "We'll meet up at His house in New Kalis."

"And who decided this?" June nervously asked.

"Arcee could veto it if she wants, but I doubt it. Which means Pyra Magna's the one who might veto it."

Pyra Magna walked onto the bridge, "Siren tells me the Humans have an expression: my ears are burning."

"Pyra." June warmly greeted her.

"I take it you heard?" Smokescreen asked.

"I got the transmission to my comm. unit." Pyra Magna said, as she walked up beside June.

"So?.." Smokescreen uttered, trying to hide his nervousness.

"I agree." she simply stated.

"Between Arcee and the Rust Maidens, we can definitely protect Him to New Kalis." Pyra Magna replied.

"Then who gets to babysit Airachnid?" Smokescreen asked her.

"Oh?" Pyra Magna asked, "Japheth, of course."

"Oh course?" June nervously asked.

"He is the only one she trusts." Smokescreen stated.

"I've talked with anyone I could, and the truth is pretty simple." she said. Both of the bridges were completely silent. Smokescreen, June, and Dodge all waiting with bated breath. "He was just as amazing as Jack. It was Jack that... reformed her. Not Japheth."

"Didn't he jump from orbit to save you?" Smokescreen asked.

"If He was Human, what would he have done?" Pyra Magna asked. Smokescreen gave her a blank look in reply, "Wait for reinforcements." Pyra Magna stated. "As Japheth, He has NEVER exceeded his military capacity. At the most, it would simply delay Him."

"Are you saying if He was Human, He would have drifted out to speak with her in the void?" Smokescreen asked.

"Are you saying he wouldn't?" Pyra Magna asked. Silence reigned for a moment.

"Honestly?.." June asked.

"That does sound like him." Smokescreen said, and paused. "Anyways, we'll head out soon enough."

"Are you taking Sierra?" June genuinely asked, and Smokescreen paused. "You're worried about her?" Smokescreen could not reply, as he tried to hide the stress that question caused him. "And I can't say I wasn't worried, but what did Jack do?" Smokescreen just stared at her, blankly, dumbstruck by the question.

* * *

Airachnid fervently, frantically paced in the dark traces of her hollow. Her life flahsed before her eyes. It seemed so fleeting. In truth, she had never fought for anything of substance. The only thing she wanted, the only thing she needed, was freedom: her freedom to torment. She did not join the Decepticons out of any form of idealism. In truth, she never joined them at all. She was captured, and if her freedom required her to use her - talents to aid their cause, then so be it. She had fun for a time, and then fled as soon as she could, leaving her former allies in shambles.

She paused as she gleefully remembered the moment. Her glee was shattered with the conclusion, as she realized she WAS thinking of something greater. She was thinking of fighting for the greater good.

Not that the good part was of any relevance to her, but for some reason, the greater was.

No, she wasn't thinking of fighting for the greater good. She WAS. Her heart was dedicated to His goals, her body to His whims. For the first time in her extremely long life, at least compared to all other creatures in the galaxy, (creatures she so enjoyed ending), she had someone to rely on. She was not alone. She need not flee, and hide in dark hollows.

The restrictions on her seemed inconsequential in comparison. Sure, she could no longer stalk, pursue, torture, or torment her prey. But on the other hand, she literally had a Prime to watch over her. She clutched her Spark chamber as it felt unnaturally warm. She gleefully clutched her clawed hands together, looking as the spider that caught the fly.

She then felt depressed, for perhaps even the first time ever. Her guardian had lost His mettle and memory. He now considered her the most viscious creature alive.

To be fair, she was. That was actually rather fair. But, somehow, He had overlooked her teensy temptations to terrorize defenseless creatures before. She needed to find a way to get Him to do it again. All she would have to do is prey upon his naïevity. Act as the waif, the naïf.

They both knew it was a lie, but if all she had to do to be under his protection, all she had to do was act.

And not torture defenseless, (and fearsome), creatures.

* * *

Airachnid confidently walked up to the bridge, and turned towards the ladder leading to His loft above. June stepped in front of her, "Can I - help you?!" Airachnid looked at her, seeing something she recognized. "You don't know who I am, do you?"

"Should I?" she wickedly asked, and June just gave her a ferocious glare. "Look, I'd love to waste my time finding out who you are, but - I am - HIS Scout. I am simply here to report." she wickedly stated.

June just glared at her for a moment, "How did you even get here?"

"One." Airachnid wickedly said, as she looked her over, "I apparently have freedom of movement."

"And... to the Ion?"

"We can jump." Airachnid simply stated, "What, is this your first time being Cybertronian?"

A pregnant pause followed, as Pyra Magna walked up. "Did you really want the answer?"

Airachnid gave her a shocked, confused look. Pyra Magna sighed, and looked at June, "All I know is that He trusts her."

"He?" June nervously asked.

"His trust is all I have." Pyra Magna stated, and looked to Airachnid. She gestured towards the ladder.

Airachnid quickly turned to sashay towards it. "The big Femme thinks she's in charge." Pyra Magna quickly slapped her on the butt, causing Airachnid to quickly move forward.

"No reaction?" Dust Up asked her.

"I think I could get used to that." Airachnid uttered, as she reached the ladder.

Pyra Magna turned back to June, "I - will keep on an eye on her."

"What was that about only having His trust?" Airachnid asked as she started to climb the ladder.

"Don't pretend like you've been reformed." Pyra Magna stated, walking up to the ladder.

"Which answer has you spanking me again?" Airachnid asked, and Pyra Magna stood, stunned, hand slowly moving towards the ladder, at which point she barely moved at all. "Hm?" she wickedly asked, "Where's all of that bravado?"

"I would take you over my knee." Pyra Magna simply stated, as she her sense and senses returned to her. She looked up the ladder, and found herself staring at Airachnid's butt.

"Promises-promises." Airachnid wickedly said.

* * *

The doors opened to Japheth's room, as He cuddled up with Arcee. Sirenia and Arcelia were working on something on the console in the corner.

Arcee's eyes grew wide as she was filled with anger and fear, with horror and a lust to spill Energon she had rarely felt before.

"You're not going to hurt me." Airachnid confidently said, as she walked up to the bed, and knelt down at it's foot. Pyra Magna stood behind her, over her, looking at Japheth to take control of the situation.

"Someone want to tell me what's going on?" Japheth asked.

Airachnid looked at Arcee, "She knows." she said to her, and Arcee nearly screamed. It wasn't until she felt Japheth hold onto her more firmly that she finally stopped. She slipped from His arm and stood up in the blink of an eye.

"Beg!" Arcee said to her.

"Use me however you would. Discard me when I no longer - please - you." Airachnid said, and then kowtowed.

"She lies." Arcee stated.

"She... doesn't..." Japheth nervously said.

"You're sure?" Arcee asked.

"Probably the only thing I'm sure of." Japheth simply uttered. "But, why are you here?"

"I've been thinking about my long and - exciting life." Airachnid stated.

"Going over all of the 'Bots you've murdered?!" Arcee visciously asked.

"Oh, honey, I've murdered far more than 'Bots." Airachnid wickedly replied.

"AND?!" Arcee harshly asked.

"I meant what I said." Airachnid replied, and turned to Japheth. She then looked back to Arcee, "If I did any of that, I doubt this big, strong Prime would do anything to protect me."

"Like you care about protection." Arcee grumbled.

"Do I need it?" Airachnid asked, and momentarily paused, "Maybe. But what's more important, being free, or having a home?"

Arcee was shocked. Even more than shocked, she was horrified. Not because she could not understand this, but because she could. She felt what Airachnid felt, and the thought disgusted her.