#I hated getting rides from them for gatherings because I felt like a burden and sometimes I'd just be anxious and awkward when I got there

[elfpylon]

there should be an avpd awareness day so I can casually drop it on my snapchat to be seen by all the people I like but avoid (exhibit A)

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Never a Burden

Neteyam x Reader Mate

Summary: You don’t want to bother Neteyam with your issues but things keep getting worse with another clan member won’t leave you alone…

Warning: Mentions of injury, cursing.

***************************************************

“Don’t cause trouble” was a line Neteyam constantly said to his younger brother over the years, and now that mantle of troublemaker had been passed over to you, his mate.

Neteyam loved you more than life but by god you were a handful and then some. You were like a magnet for sticky situations and more often than not Neteyam had to come to your rescue.

Like the time some visiting Navi from a neighboring clan were bullying a harmless forest creature so you “intervened”. He yelled at you for being careless and putting yourself in danger.

Or the time your necklace flew off during a flying session so you promptly dived and searched the waters for hours until you found it. You came back soaked and shivering late into the night with the beads in your hand.

“What were you thinking!?” He scolded quickly wrapping you up in a warm blanket.

“B-b-but it’s the necklace you gifted me…” you chattered and he let out an exasperated sigh.

These situations were a frequent occurrence since he met you however he realized soon on that that was a package deal with being your mate. He’d take that deal any day.

Your husband had been endlessly busy on raids the past few months, only coming home to regroup and head back out. He was beyond exhausted most of the time, coming into your tent and falling asleep in your arms almost instantly

Usually Neteyam had patience and a level head but these past months proved to be a heavy challenge. Which made sense since so much was riding on his shoulders.

You felt bad for him which Is why you didn’t want to bother him with your troubles. Even if this situation wasn’t exactly your fault…

Recently a nearby clan had teamed up with yours to battle the sky people. This clan was different than yours, hard headed, brutal, our clans didn’t usually get along but they had a common enemy which made them a strong ally.

However some of the clans males had been targeting you. It started off small at first, taunts here and there. You weren’t a warrior which is why they criticized you as the oleyektens mate. But lately they’ve been getting more bold, one male in particular, Tu’Mey, their ring leader had been degrading you, commenting on your body and how neteyam must hate rutting with such a skinny female.

Today was when he finally crossed the line, you were gathering herbs in the forest with Kiri when she left early because of a headache.

You didn’t think anything of being alone until a familiar voice had you cursing.

“What are you doing out here all alone huh?” Tu’Mey emerged from behind a tree with a grin. He was alone which you didn’t know was better or worse.

“None of your business.” You snatched your basket up and threw him a glare as you went to move past him back to camp, you let out a little gasp when he grabbed your arm instead. That was the first time he had touched you.

“Let go of me!” You hissed and pulled but he didn’t relent.

“Heh so weak, what does a great warrior like your husband see in you huh?”

His grip was strong and you felt a moment of panic.

“Enough, let go asshole!” You punched at him with your other hand but it was like hitting a boulder. He easily grabbed your other hand and pulled you closer. Your eyes widened as he brought his face closer to yours.

“Hmm you may be no warrior, but you do have a pleasant enough face I suppose.”

“Let go before I-“

“Before you what? Hurt me?” He laughed and pulled your arms up high pulling you up right to his body.

You panicked a lot more now feeling his skin touching yours.

You start kicking at him and he clicks his tongue in annoyance, and backs you up into a tree roughly. The bark digging into your skin painfully.

“Oh I’m sorry did that hurt?” He asked mockingly.

“Go on cry for me little forest girl”

You refused to shed tears but you were definitely afraid.

Suddenly you heard a rustling up ahead followed by several Navi voices.

Tu’Mey pulled you deeper in the forest away from prying eyes, his mistake was leaving one hand open.

As he pulled you away you caught a glint of a knife at his waist, it was probably a bad idea but you didn’t really have a choice.

In moments you grabbed at the knife and swiped at the arm holding you.

You were successful but the moment Tu’Mey realized what you done his eyes were full of fury.

You turned to run but were abruptly yanked back by your braid.

“Oh now you wanna fight little girl? Cmon then let’s fight.” He used your hair to propel you forward roughly. You rolled several times before hitting a tree. You gasped in pain.

Suddenly he was above you again and you saw his leg go out and in straight to your stomach. You cried out in pain. Great mother help me.

He kicked the same place again and then roughly pulled you up by your arms.

You slumped in his hold but still managed a hiss. Not that it really did anything.

He opened his mouth to say something but the voices were nearing again. He cursed and threw you back down.

“This isn’t over”. And just as fast as he came he disappeared in the trees.

You coughed a couple times on the ground clutching your stomach. With much pain you stood up and limped into the trees away from the scene, you didn’t want anyone to see you and say anything to Neteyam.

The truth was most Navi could hold their own but you were different. You healed, not hurt, you didn’t even like to hunt because of your sweet nature. Neteyam was drawn to your heart he said, but your weakness was becoming an issue now that war had come. You didn’t realize just how useless you really were.

After much struggle you managed to sneak back into your tent unsuspected.

You collapsed on the ground next to your sleeping mat. The tears flowed freely now that you were alone. You missed Neteyam now more than ever, wanting nothing more than for him to hold you in his arms.

With tears still running down your face you moved your netted top out of the way to see the damage. A large nasty bruise had formed along with a couple cuts. Your back ached too so you could only imagine the scratches there as well.

Sniffling you applied some salve.

Good thing Neteyam wouldn’t be back for a few days, you didn’t know what you would do if he saw your state. He would probably kill him and start another war.

Little did you know the war party had returned while you were gone..

“Yawne? There you are, I didn’t see you when I landed.”

Your eyes widened hearing Neteyams voice and the familiar flapping of the tent beads.

Quickly you wiped at your eyes and slid the salve under the blanket.

“N-Neteyam, welcome back my love.” You thank Ewya that the tent is darkened by the night.

He rushes to you and you embrace him.

“I missed you so much, couldn’t wait to get back..” he held you tightly and you did your best not to wince.

“Me too..” you released from each other and he gave you a loving kiss.

“Come, change and I’ll prepare you something to eat.” He nodded and went to remove his armor. Luckily he hadn’t seemed to notice anything was off.

He ate and talked about the successful raid, you nodded along but your mind was on the blossoming pain all over your body but especially your stomach.

“Are you alright? You’ve hardly said a word..”

“Yes, just tired is all, I was collecting herbs and other things for most of the day.”

He nodded and smiled, “then come let us sleep, I am exhausted as well.”

You nodded and followed him to the mat. You grabbed a longer top and threw it on. Come morning, you would not be able to hide it in the light so you needed to cover up, at least until he left again for the next raid.

Sleep came easy for the both of you, despite your pain, being in Neteyams arms always lulled you quickly. You hoped the morning would go smoothly. Although you rarely ever got what you wanted these days..

***************************************************

“-at is this?” Mm your dreams were beginning to fade away at the familiar voice calling out to you and bringing you back to reality.

“Y/n!” Your eyes abruptly flicked open hearing Neteyams urgent voice.

Oh great mother help me..

Your gaze focused on Neteyam who was sitting up beside you with a hand on your waist and another pulling aside your netted top.

You were an idiot to think that flimsy material could hide anything.

“What is this, what happened??” He asked again voice full of concern and seriousness.

Your eyes followed down to wear a nasty bruise had doubled In its darkening since last night.

“I-I It’s nothing teyam, I fell from a tree in a bad way is all.. I didn’t realize it had caused such a bruise..” you sat up and tried to cover up again but he wouldn’t let you.

“This looks bad, what did you fall on?” He grimaced tracing the cuts with his fingers.

“Some large rocks..” you hoped he would buy that. You never really lied to him before, you hated the feeling..

He looked you over now from head to toe and caught sight of your back.

“Your back is scratched up too… come let’s see Grandmother-“

He moves to gently pull you but you refuse, “It’s fine my love, I can apply medicine here, your grandmother is no doubt busy with warriors from yesterday…”

He looked reluctant, “but..”

“Really I’m alright” you pulled him back down and hugged him. You were actually in a lot of pain but Moat was smart and would see through your lie easily so you couldn’t go.

Neteyam pulled away and moved to grab your basket that held all your medicinal supplies.

He pulled the cover off and frowned, “I thought you picked herbs yesterday, there’s barely anything here..”

You idiot- you left your basket in the forest!

“Ah I can’t believe it, I forgot my basket in the forest..”

He raised a brow then furrrowed it, “you didn’t hit your head did you?” Suddenly he was near you again inspecting your face.

“N-no I didn’t I must’ve been just a little flustered is all”

Neteyam pulled back and looked you in the eye, “Yawne…is everything ok? You seem…strange”

“I-I” what should you say?

Luckily a familiar voice outside the tent called interrupting you.

“Bro you in there? We need to talk about the next mission, everyone’s waiting” Neteyam reluctantly pulled away giving you a wary look. You smiled hoping to ease his worries.

“I’ll be back later , go to Kiri for help at least ok?”

You nodded not meaning it and watched him leave the tent.

You let out a sigh once you were alone. Perhaps you could sneak into your mother in laws tent since everyone would be at the meeting. She would have herbs. At least that way Neteyam would assume you went to Kiri.

Slowly you stood up and readjusted your clothing, not that it really covered anything..

Luckily when you exited the tent, everyone was either at the meeting or busy preparing for the next raid.

You went behind the tents as swiftly as you could and finally arrived at your destination.

You called out but just as you suspected they were gone.

You felt guilty basically stealing but you didn’t really have many options.

You gathered what you needed and left, you nearly let out a scream when you bumped into the large body of your father in law.

“Woah easy- y/n?” You quickly schooled your shock with an uneasy smile. “I came to ask to borrow some herbs but no one was here.. I hope you don’t mind?”

Jake shook his head, “of course not, go crazy” he reached beside the door grabbing a map before moving to leave again when he happened to catch sight of the bruise.

“What happened?” He asked concerned.

“O-oh nothing really, I just had a bad fall..”

He eyed your face for a moment before nodding

“That looks bad, make sure you get that looked at ok?”

“I will” you smiled and sighed as he left the tent.

Luckily on your way back you didn’t run into anyone.

***************************************************

“Alright dismissed” warriors turned to prepare for the next raid and Neteyam was about to follow them when his father held him back.

“Wait there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What is it?”

Jake looked a bit uneasy but continued on, “it’s about y/n.”

Neteyam perked up at this, “Why? did something happen?”

“I saw her just now in our tent getting herbs, she was…skittish and I saw really nasty looking bruise.”

Neteyam nodded, “She fell in the forest…on some rocks she said...”

“She’s one of the best climbers in the clan Neteyam”

“I know this…do…do you think she was lying?” He furrowed his brows. His mate never lied to him before. Even saying it out loud sounded weird.

Jake tilted his head, “I’m not saying that but…” Neteyam nodded as if coming to a decision.

“Yeah ok… I’ll talk to her”. He thanked his father and went about his duties. He was definitely going to have a talk when he got home.

****************************************************

You had been resting in your tent for most of the day when you realized you had nothing prepared for dinner. Neteyam mentioned he would stay a couple nights so it was only right he had a nice hot meal while he was here.

Sighing you stood up and exited the tent. You could at least catch a couple fish for the both of you.

You grabbed your fishing net and made your way towards the river.

It was evening time but there were a few Navi around.

Good, you didn’t want to be alone..

Throughout the next hour you kept glancing around but luckily you hadn’t seen him so far.

It was dark now everyone had mostly gone so you decided to call it quits as well. you managed to catch a couple small fish but just needed to check your last net tied to the tree.

Slowly so not to aggravate your wounds you climbed ontop of a giant rock. This net was along the river edge but from higher up.

Due to the weather getting colder it was better not to get into the water.

You kneeled on the rock and bent down to pull up your net.

The sudden screech of an Ikran roared behind you. It happened within seconds, you turned only to have a wing smack into you propelling you forward.

You gasped then were suddenly choking and spluttering on freezing water.

You whipped your head around to face the Ikran. You mentally screamed realizing it was HIS Ikran. And the devil in question laughter heartily from the tree line. He whistled and his Ikran flew towards him.

You didn’t wait to see what he would do next, you scrambled out of the river shivering and ran back as fast as you could.

Cold so cold, the night wind only made it that much worse.

Your teeth chattered violently. Hot tears pouring down your cheeks.

You slammed the tent flap open and clambered inside.

“Y/n?” Neteyam sprung up from his sitting position and practically sprinted to you.

Oh great mother not now! You thought he would be out still with the warriors!

“Y/n?! What happened?? why are you soaking wet?!” Neteyam grabbed your shoulders looking you up and down.

“I-I” your voice came out in a cold stutter. The temperature settling in deep into your body.

Neteyam pulled you closer to the fire and helped you remove your wet things before handing you a woven blanket.

“Yawne please, tell me what happened” Neteyam pulled you closer to him, hoping his body heat would help.

He wiped away your tears but they flowed like an endless river.

“I-I....I fell in the river.” Neteyam tensed, he could see your hesitation and how you wouldn’t meet your eyes.

“And how did that happen hm? What aren’t you telling me?” His voice was more firm now.

Should you tell him? But you didn’t want to cause trouble and disturb the alliance. It was your fault you were weak…

“Y/n!” You gasped, Neteyam hardly if ever raised his voice at you.

You couldn’t even answer as your sobs and distress grew louder. Now the love of your life was angry with you. Why could you never do anything right?!

Neteyam softened completely seeing your distress, “Alright alright, mawye my love, it’s alright, mawye…I’m sorry, please don’t cry” he hugged you tightly, bringing your head to his chest. He held you like that soothingly stroking your back until your sobs quieted down.

You slowly pulled away still not meeting his eyes.

Neteyam brought a finger to your chin and slowly pushed it up.

His heart broke seeing the puffiness. He followed the finger to your cheek and splayed them out. You leaned into his warmth.

“Whatever it is, you know I am with you my love.”

You let out a shakey breathe. “I know…” you whispered brokingly.

“And I will always be there for you… no matter what it is but I can’t help if I don’t know what is wrong.”

You reached up to hold the hand caressing your face. “I am always causing you trouble Neteyam.”

He blinked at this, “what?”

“I’m always causing you trouble…I don’t want to burden you…”

Neteyams brows furrowed, “Yes you are trouble but you are never a burden to me- where is this coming from?” He asked still confused.

“I’m weak Neteyam..”

“Y/n you��re not-“

You gulped and said it again, “I am weak. You shouldn’t have to protect me, I should be able to defend myself like everyone else but I just…I’m not a fighter Neteyam.. it’s never been an issue but now…” you sniffled trying not to break down again. “I-I didn’t want to bother you with this… you have way more important matters- I just- it’s getting worse and he isn’t stopping I-“ you were babbling out what you could, your mate trying to piece everything together but once he heard the word “he” he froze.

The wheels started turning in Neteyams mind, he didn’t know what he thought actually happened to you but the second he realized it was another person who hurt you a hot surge of anger coursed through him.

The grip on your face tightened but not painfully. “Someone did this to you? His eyes motioned to your bruises, voice dangerously calm but brimming with unleashed rage. He kept calm for your sake.

You nodded looking away in shame. Well you tried but he brought your face back to his glowing eyes.

“Tell me”

You bit your lip nervously.

“Tell me who dared to lay a hand on my mate…”

You hesitated, “I… I’m afraid it will damage war relations…”

Neteyam held back a snarl. So it was one of the other clans men then..

“Tell me”

You were about to protest again but Neteyams eyes made you pause. They held so much emotion. Love, anger, but most importantly in this moment they promised you safety.

With a deep breathe you closed your eyes then opened them again, “…Tu’Mey…”

Neteyam clenched his fist to keep himself from bursting just quite yet.

“Listen carefully y/n” you nodded.

“You will tell me everything and leave nothing out do you understand?” His tone left no room for arguing.

So you listened and told him everything.

And when you finally finished, you were taken aback at the speed Neteyam removed his hand from you. In all of 3 seconds he had grabbed his knife and ax and stormed to the door.

“N-Neteyam!”

“Stay here Mate” before you could protest he was gone.

You slumped down in a heap. Oh great mother what would happen now?!

Part 2

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Thanks for reading! Part 2 is up now🥰

[the-nameless-poet]

The four magic beans

Summery : Reader hates physical injuries and has very low pain tolerance.

Pairings : James Potter x Reader

One thing that James knew about you was that you absolutely hated getting injured because you have very low pain tolerance. You simply felt like you're being a burden with your whining and needy-ness while you're injured. So you avoided it all-together.

But your boyfriend had forced you to join the gryffindor quidditch team just because you were great at it. I mean as he put it in words,

"Sweetheart I've never seen anyone ride a broom as fast as you do! You fly like cheeta of birds. You're awesome!" And James being James, he had somehow convinced you to finally play as the seeker of gryffindor quidditch team.

But things don't usually go the way you want them to. You remember all the times that things go south-wards for you. Like the time when you tried to save the kitty from the tree and fell off of it or the time you went to pet your neighbour's tortoise and it bit you. Yeah, a tortoise bit you. Like how pathetic is that? A tortoise out of everything? You were even embarrassed to tell the story.

But like I said the life ain't fair. That's exactly what you thought while you were chasing down the snitch and the other team's beater sent a bludger towards you. Your arm stretched out to finally get a hold of the little flying golden ball and suddenly a big metal ball come at very fast pace hitting the middle of your forearm directly. You did get a hold of the golden snitch but with that you heard a sickening crack and your boyfriend shouting your name in high concern as you lost your balance on your broom and fell off it and landed straight on the ground.

James tried his best to catch you but he failed. And there you were laying still on the ground with your hand clutched to your chest, James could see you were trembling but he also knew that even if the whole world comes tumbling down you would never break the facade of bravery.

You slowly stood up, the silence in the stadium was deafening. Even after the foul play of the opposite team you held your non-injured arm up in the air and showed off the treasure that you caught. A loud cheer erupted in the quidditch field as gryffindor had won the match.

James was beyond proud of you but he also knew you were dying inside so he quickly got off his broom and came rushing towards you. Madame Huch came at a fast pace as well as she examined your arm and sent you immediately to Madam Pomfrey.

James was the one to accompany you.

"Come on darling, let's get you all patched up, yeah. And then we can cuddle in my dorm and eat the shittiest snacks that you love and I can read you your favourite book. Come on." James said as he noticed tears gathering in your beautiful eyes. James was absolutely amazing. He always knew what you needed before you did. It was one of his 'i am the mom of the group' traits.

You went inside the hospital wing, still in your quidditch apparell.

"Oh, dear! I was waiting for one to be truthful. Not a single quidditch match goes without an injury. Come here, dear. Mr. Potter assist Miss. L/N to take a proper seat on one of the beds." She ordered James and quickly left to get supplies.

James saw that your facade was still on. The mask never breaking even though your eyes were glistening.

Soon Madam Pomfrey came and patched your hand up. She said that it was easier to fix broken bones so she'd let you go for now but asked you to visit if the pain gets unbearable.

At that you looked back at James with a little pout. You were on verge of breaking down but made sure not to. You had to be brave! You're a gryffindor for godric's sake!

James took you back to his dorm like he promised.

"Jamie, I can't change on my own I need help!" You mumbled pathetically as you looked at the shirt he offered you with tears in your eyes. You had finally had enough of the pretence.

"I know sweetheart. I know. Now, come're. You can let go now. It's okay." He took you in his arms and you broke down. After a while he helped you change into his clothes. One of his shirts and his sweats that were too big on you but you felt safe and comfortable in them. You adored wearing his clothes. They smelled like him. Like cinnamon, smoke and a nice musky cologne. And James loves seeing you in his clothes. The way you looked adorable even in overly big clothes of his.

The pain in your arm was slowly increasing and you couldn't help the tears from spilling out of your eye lashes.

"oh, doe. What happened?" James cooed as he hugged you softly to his chest. Made sure not to hurt your arm.

"Hurts!" You whimpered.

"Awh, I know baby. I'm so sorry. What do you want me to do, hmm? I'd do anything to make you feel better. You just say the word." Once again you found yourself tucked in his arms, hiding your face in his warm chest as he ran his fingers through your soft hair.

"I jus' wanna cuddle." You sniffed lightly.

"If that's what you need then that's exactly what we'd do. Let me just change and set our bed up, yeah?" You nodded your head a little as you sat on the edge of Sirius' bed.

James was quick to change and quick with making sure that his bed was comfortable enough for you to rest properly. He set up fluffy pillows and your favourite fuzzy blanket that he owned. You got under the sheets and waited for James to join you. He was quick to. He hugged you around the waist so not to hurt your arm. You laid your head on his chest and put your injured arm on his chest and settled yourself in your boyfriend's warmth.

"You know you were great today. The way you flew after that Snitch! I was frozen at the spot just looking at you. Merlin, sweets you were amazing!" Your face redden at his compliments.

"You were amazing too, Jamie. That snatch from wood was amazing!" You looked up at him with a smirk.

"Yupp. You taught me that move. Ofcourse it was gonna be amazing." He winked down at you.

"Yes. Yes I did." You both let out a little giggle.

As you were both settled in. James was reading ' Great Gatsby ' out loud to you when the door to the dorm opened slowly to reveal the other three marauders.

"Hey, Bambi. You alright there?" Sirius asked as he came and sat on the edge of your bed to examine your arm from afar.

"Looks pretty banged up, doesn't it, Moony?" He said with a little pout on his lips.

" 'tis alright." You said, clearly lying.

"Mhm. Sure." Remus sassed.

"Here, it'll make you feel better." He tossed a bar of chocolate to you. James helped you open it up and you happily nibbled on it.

"Oh, I brought you some snacks, if you'd like?" Peter passed James some snacks seeing that he was the one feeding you with his hands.

"Thank you, Remus, Peter." You smiled gratefully at them.

"Where's my thank you?" Sirius raised his eyebrow at you.

"Thank you for what? What did you bring?"

"She's right, Pads." James smirked matching the one on your face.

"Oh, so now my presence isn't enough for you." He rolled his eyes at the two of you.

"Well I guess you don't want these then." He took out a Pack from his robe pocket.

It was a jumbo couldron cake. These taste even better than the normal sized ones.

"Can I please have it?" You looked at him with the best puppy eyes that you could make.

Say, 'Thank you, Sirius. I don't know what i'd do without you. Cause my tosser of a boyfriend doesn't even know to bring me snacks.' then you can have it." Sirius smirked.

"Thank you, Sirius. I don't know what i'd do without you. Cause my tosser of a boyfriend doesn't even know to bring me snacks."

"Hey! You're my girlfriend!" James whined.

"Yeah, but he has the jumbo couldron cake. And I really want one." You smiled feigning innocence.

"There you go, Prongs' girlfriend." Sirius handed you the couldron cake.

"You know I hate you, right?" James scowled at him as he winked at you.

"What did I even do?" Sirius asked in a mellow tone.

Their argument continued. You just looked at them. The four magic beans you had that made you forget about the pain of the presence and the fear of the future and the hurt of the past. You listened to their argument for bit more but soon fell asleep with your boyfriend caressing your hair and your neck and the laughs of your favourite people in the world.

The marauders.

Another James Potter oneshot :

[ethereaiin]

2B likes to carry Reader but doesn't like to admit it?

changed your rq a bit since i wanted some comfort fluff. also this reignited my motivation to write for my nier fic so thanks <3

features; you and 2B + some bonus 9S.

[au]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Being the only human left in the world meant a lot of things.

The weight of responsibility weighed heavily on your shoulders. There was never a day that went by you weren’t reminded of how precious your life was and how losing it meant the end of humanity. The androids you’ve come to know and love never let you forget that fact. You were their salvation; their hope and most of all, their most cherished person.

2B was especially fond of you. While she was reserved with her emotions, opting to use actions to display her care, you knew that she held a soft spot for you. She treated you as if you were the most delicate thing in the world; like the slightest harm against you would break you completely. Compared to an android, of course you were weaker. Yet 2B was maybe a little too cautious.

“Is this really necessary?”

You say with a slight pout as 2B lifts you from the ground and you immediately wrap your arms around her neck. At this point, she’s done it so many times that it felt more like an instinctual habit rather than something you did to ensure you wouldn’t fall. Knowing her, it was unlikely she’d ever let you slip through her grasp. Her wary nature wouldn’t allow it.

At this point, you were somewhat used to the coldness of an android’s body. They were different from humans and they didn’t possess the natural heat you exuded. When you clung to her, it felt no different from any other person, yet the lack of warmth was like a gentle reminder. Nothing here was the same as you remembered it to be and the beings that you were surrounded with on a daily basis that appeared so human were, in fact, anything but.

2B makes no verbal sound of irritation at your question and she answers you as diligently as she always does. “Of course. We can’t afford you getting sick or hurt.”

Though she rarely ever spoke with emotion, you could still hear the tinge of concern in her voice. It only made the heat in your cheeks feel especially warmer. “A-At least let me ride on your back! You can’t fight like this with me here!”

“You’re fine right where you are.”

Your lips part to protest but quickly close when you recall the promise you made to her earlier that day. It was her condition that if you were to roam about the city, you needed to listen to everything she told you to do. No matter how you felt about it. Even if it was a little embarrassing.

Yet, this wasn’t just a one-time occurrence when it came to 2B. No matter where you were, 2B wanted to be in some form of contact with you. At the camp, she’d sit so close that you could feel the brush of her sleeves against your skin, and whenever you were given the chance to roam about, you always found yourself either in her arms or on her back.

You thought it was nothing more than android curiosity. You were the first human she’s ever interacted with after all and it wasn’t as if it were any different for you. You couldn’t deny that you too were interested in androids, especially how they all came to be. For them, they’ve always known humans as their elusive creators, but for you, it felt as if the androids seemingly came from nowhere.

You couldn’t remember much of your old life before you woke up and for now, the desolate and decrepit city you wandered in was your new home. At least until you regain the lost memories 2B promised she’d help you recover.

“So, where are we going today?” You finally ask after a brief walk in silence.

2B’s stride doesn’t break and you feel almost lulled by her rhythmic steps. She didn’t even seem the least burdened with carrying you. She was stronger than an average human, it was something you came to learn after watching her mercilessly beat down a hunk of sentient metal. Just with her fists alone she was able to put a dent in steel. To her, your weight was of little consequence.

Often, you wondered what you felt like in her arms.

She glanced down at you, visage half shrouded by the blindfold around her eyes though the curve of a smile on her lips shows her excitement. “. . . You’ll see.”

She doesn’t say anymore after that and the both of you continue on in silence. Not that you minded it too much. 2B was never a conversationalist, she relied more on actions than words to convey how she felt. You liked that part of her. Her actions were always well thought out and held meaning, Whether she knew it or not, it made every little thing she did for you feel a little more sincere.

From your place in her arms, you took in the sights of the city. As dilapidated and broken as the world around you seemed, it was oddly beautiful. Never had you seen so much green in your life. Flora grew from the cracks between the roads and overtook the concrete buildings towering above you. Looking up towards the sky, you could see flocks of birds flying towards a destination you would never know, their distant calls an interruption to the silence. You don’t remember much of the old world, but you knew this city was never meant to be this quiet.

You desperately wished to regain your lost memories, yet there was a part of you who wasn’t so eager. Often the thought crossed your mind; maybe you were better off without them. Remembering would only leave you with the desire for a world long gone along with the total realization of your unfathomable luck. You, the last of your kind, were left all alone while the world died and withered without you. If there was a god, surely they wouldn’t have condemned you to such a lonely fate.

“Look,”

At the sound of her voice, you glance up at her only to direct your sight towards whatever she was referring to. While you were deep in thought you hadn’t noticed the direction she was heading in and you found yourself atop a wooden bridge placed just behind the walls of what looked to be an amusement park. From where 2B stood, you couldn’t see much, but you were given an incredible view of the distant castle.

“I-Is that an- Woah!”

The words died right on your tongue as an explosion of color suddenly took over the sky. Even from the great distance between you and the park, you were able to hear the crackling of fireworks. The sky, which you thought the sun would never set for, was darkened with the smoke from the war 2B and 9S constantly talked about. The colors were brightened against it, making their visibility clearer and their colors vivid. With your eyes locked onto the sight before you, you tapped on 2B’s shoulder as a silent request to be let down. She complied, allowing you to step near the edge of the bridge to take a closer look at the fireworks.

You thought you couldn’t remember anything from the old world, yet the moment you gazed upon the fireworks lighting up the sky; you remembered them instantaneously. You remembered their putrid smell, how loud they could be, and the fear you used to harbor for them when you were younger.

Even if you used to be scared of them, even if you thought they were too loud and hated the way they smelled; at this moment, you thought they were the prettiest things you’ve ever seen.

Tears gathered at the corners of your eyes and it was only until you felt them run down your cheeks that you paid them any mind. Though before you could even attempt to wipe them, you felt the distinct sensation of leather gently running across your cheek.

2B stood at your side, looking down at you with a small smile on her face, one you gladly returned. She doesn’t ask you the reason for your tears, nor does she look hurt by their appearance. She lets you be, standing at your side for as long as you allow her whilst providing unspoken support. It warmed you to the deepest part of your heart. Her kindness, although silent and unvoiced, was always apparent to you. She cared deeply for you. You didn’t need her to say it for you to know.

Your hand slips into hers all too naturally and under the crackling fireworks above, you think of only the promising future.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

extra:

“Why do you like to carry me so much?”

The question was asked more straightforward than what they were used to hearing from you. If there was anything 2B and 9S learned from their journey with you so far, it was that you never said what you felt. You looked for gentler ways to word your questions as if your care would be understood by androids who had no grasp of discretion.

2B, like always, never fails to leave your question unanswered and replies as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Because you’re warm.”

2B’s forthright reply even shocked 9S who was walking alongside her. “2B! Don’t you think that’s a little. . .”

You blushed slightly at her reply, burying your face against her shoulder as if that would take away from your embarrassment. From your place on her back, you were unable to see what kind of face she was making. As if that damned blindfold would give you the opportunity anyway. Though you doubted she would feel even a pinch of shame. 2B spoke nothing but the truth and that only made her words all the more brazen.

“What? You don’t agree?” She pauses in her steps, turning towards him which then forces you to face him as well. “Have you never touched her?”

You felt as if you would just die right then and there, yet you can’t help yourself from timidly peeking out at 9S from over 2B’s shoulder. He looks like he’s in thought for a moment, with a gloved hand on his chin and his lips twisted to the side. There’s only a moment’s delay between 2B’s question and his answer.

“Well. . . yeah, you’re not wrong. She’s even nicer to hug.”

Having enough of this conversation, you raise up your head to throw 9S a light glare. “Guys, can we please just get back to camp already?”

Throwing his hands up, 9S cheekily grins at you before continuing down the road towards the resistance camp. 2B follows shortly after him, her lips spread into an equally amused smile. While it might have been normal for 9S to show emotion resembling that of a human’s the feeling that stirred in 2B’s chest was quite foreign to her. She didn’t know what to call this feeling, but she didn’t hate it. It was a delightful buzz, one that she often felt around you and only you.

“Humans are softer than I imagined.” She added, her smile brightening at the sound of your muffled groan.

9S didn't hesitate to tag in on the teasing even from his place further ahead of you. “You know, I think we should include that in our report to the Commander. . .”

“Guys!”

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Your blessings are your curses.

Also on AO3

TL;DR:

Dead All Might acts as a guardian angel to this heroic quirkless kid he runs into. Izuku gets put into a dangerous situation and turns out – DNA wasn’t needed to pass OFA. Just intent. Izuku gains the ability to see All Might along with the ability to use his quirk.

Sadly, AFO notices.

Now Izuku is on the run with a ghost for a guardian after AFO’s goons kill his mother.

Your blessings are your curses:

TL;DR: Dead all might, acts as a guardian angel to this quirkless kid he runs into. Izuku gets put into a dangerous situation and turns out – DNA wasn’t needed to pass OFA. Just intent. Izuku gains the ability to see All Might along with the ability to use his quirk.

Sadly, AFO notices.

Now Izuku is on the run with a ghost for a guardian after AFO’s goons kill his mother.

So – In the fight between All for One and All Might six years before canon, All Might loses.

Not horribly. All for One is still left almost dead and retreats into hiding, but All Might falls unconscious never to open his eyes again, later dying of sepsis in the hospital. His eyes may never physically reopen, but he does awaken – translucent and noncorporeal.

For a while he doesn’t know if it’s a latent quirk, or maybe something All for One did as a final blow, but no – it’s One for All. One for All has a mind of its own and refuses to disappear until Yagi has found a successor. Not that Yagi knows that.

His old haunts are too painful to hang around, the whole nation is grieving for him and seeing that pain on his old friend's faces burns something fierce. So he does what he’s always done. He helps.

Midoriya Izuku is nine when his favourite hero dies. He sees how the nation is grieving and his desire to be a hero only burns brighter. The bullying he suffers worsens, hate crimes against the quirkless and those with ‘villainous’ quirks uptick. Japan isn’t a pillar of safety and security anymore – crime rates have risen to match or overtake worldwide averages.

Still, he feels almost, safer? He gets luckier – the book his classmate stole shows up in his bag by the next period, bullies trip more often, and sometimes as he runs from villain attacks or classmates with their quirks popping against the nape of his neck, he feels a broad hand push him forwards, giving him an extra burst of speed.

He decides it must be the All Might charm he bought the day before the news of All Might’s death broke. A small solid plastic charm meant for a phone with a bright yellow bell attached, along with a tag reading “I AM HERE”. He fills the bell with scraps of paper so no one can hear it ring as he holds it tight in his hand when he gets nervous.

Midoriya Izuku is nine when he is almost killed.

With All Might gone, organized crime spikes. Quirk trafficking rings spring up – very rare, but no less real. It’s one of these such rings that kidnaps Izuku on his way home from school. He awakens, sore and blurry-eyed in a warehouse with a half dozen other crying children. One by one they are forced to show off their quirks, to gauge their value.

Izuku has no quirk to show. He has no value to these people. They growl at him to stop playing around, to stop pretending to be a hero (his All Might charm is almost cutting into his hand from how hard he holds it. He needs his luck more than ever please all might save me one more time - ). He can't bring himself to shut his eyes as a flaming hand reaches towards his face.

For a moment it feels like he's being held. He feels safe.

A shockwave levels the warehouse, leaving he and the other children untouched, the villains buried in the rubble. Green sparks sink into his skin, dancing over the rapidly purpling bruises decorating his arm. He runs.

He comes back to himself in a park, sobbing and shaking, arms wrapped around his shaking form and an oddly familiar voice murmuring apologies and praise as a broad hand runs gently through his hair.

It seems One for All never needed DNA, only intent, to pass itself along. With the passing of the quirk, Yagi should have dissipated, but he refused, clinging to the child he’d accidentally burdened with his legacy, the same quirkless child he’d been playing guardian angel for all this time.

When Izuku sees All Might he freezes. It’s not All Might as he knew him, rather – this is the All Might that died. He’s translucent, faded around the edges, with a tattered and bloodstained costume, thick padded bandaging over his stomach hiding stiches staining to close infected wounds, doing little to stop the blood oozing through. Still – All Might’s eyes are bright blue and kind and his smile is as it always was. Izuku throws himself onto his hero and sobs.

All Might – Yagi, as he insisted Izuku call him – led him to the nearest police station, as he tried to explain what had occurred. It wasn’t easy considering Yagi didn’t seem to be sure himself, but Izuku was pretty sure the quirk he’d been accidentally gifted was sentient.

Izuku held his arms up to the sky, stretching his fingers to the pinpricks of light in the night sky. Sparks of glittering gold, green, white, blue and red jumped across his skin, like the static shocks he’d get when he wore his wool socks in bed, but less painful. They almost felt playful.

“What are they called?” Yagi looked at him, confusion clear on his face. One of his spikes of hair drooped, and if Izuku could ignore the dust and blood that ran through it it would almost be funny.

“They? My boy, do you mean the sparks? If so, they don’t have a name.”

Izuku frowned, letting his hand drop. He could feel the sparks gently brushing his injuries, almost soothingly. “No, I mean your quirk. They should have a name, they’re so nice to me.”

Yagi coughed, dark blood spilling from his mouth, never to hit the ground. “One for All. It’s called One for All.”

Izuku’s frown deepened.

“All Might, mama says it’s rude to call someone an it.”

Inko is reunited with her only mildly injured son, now excitedly gushing about a quirk he’d somehow manifested. She privately thanks whatever spirit finally decided to smile upon her son, even if it took so long.

Their happiness doesn’t last long. Days later Izuku receives a summons to the head office. He freezes when he sees the police officer, Yagi’s comforting hand on his shoulder the only thing that keeps him from running.

It was a villain attack, the officer says with kindness so forced Izuku wants to cry. Yagi looks angry. If you’ll just come with us so we can get you to the safehouse with your mother –

Yagi almost growls with rage. “She’s lying.” He whispers, habit enforced despite the fact Izuku is the only person alive that can hear him. “Follow her out of the school then run” Izuku does exactly that, quirk sparking up his legs and pushing him forwards, down the familiar path to home. He takes the stairs six at a time, quirk chipping the edges of the concrete as he hurls himself forward.

Their apartment is in shambles, bookshelves tipped, small objects laying scattered on the floor, a pale arm laying limply from a half-open bathroom door.

Yagi pushes him out of the apartment and confirms the identity himself. He urges a sobbing Izuku to say his goodbyes to his mother’s corpse as they quickly gather all the money in the house, a few spare clothes and whatever food and water Yagi could knock down from the pantry shelves for him. Izuku crams it into his backpack as he sobs, Yagi guarding the entrance as he boils with rage and guilt.

He didn’t think All for One would find Izuku. He didn’t think he would even be looking. He was wrong and now his boy was paying the price.

So starts his time on the run.

He meets Shinsou first, saving him from some rubble in a villain attack. He meets him again later, battered and bruised – not from a villain, but from his foster parents. Shinsou joins him, no matter how Izuku explains hes in danger. Shinsou wants to be a hero, and if the only way he gets to be a hero is stubbornly keeping Izuku out of trouble? That’s not a bad trade-off, considering izuku was the first person to save him.

A little while later the two run into Shouto feverish and badly burnt and try to nurse him back to health as best they can. A few days in Touya and Toga run into their little camp guns blazing, expecting them to have kidnapped Shouto only to see Izuku patiently trying to feed him rice porridge with a veritable pile of ‘liberated’ fever reducers on the floor beside them.

They apologise but Shinsou and a still feverish Shouto refuse to talk to Touya or Toga for like three days bc they made Izuku cry.

They refuse to leave no matter how Izuku explains he has a centuries old villain after him. These kids are ride or die. So Hitoshi, Shouto and Izuku are like 9 and trying to learn what they can from libraries and newspapers, never settling down for too long. Toga (12) and Touya/Dabi (14) try and keep them all alive by working or stealing what they need to live. It doesn’t take long for them to evolve into a mini vigilante group.

Aizawa becomes familiar with the messy group of short vigilantes that seem to bounce from prefecture to prefecture every second day, to the point that the force is pretty sure one of them has a teleportation quirk because they don’t seem to have any kind of home base. He’s completely uninterested in trying to arrest them in the beginning – they aren’t hurting anyone and are not half bad at what they do.

That changes when he meets them.

Battered and bleeding out in a rainy alley with a villain looming over him with a knife, Aizawa is pretty sure this is the night he dies. The knife swings back, glinting in the streetlights as he tries in vain to scramble backwards with heavy limbs. It never connects. The villain jerks back as a brilliant blue plume of flame cuts him off, burning the tips of his hair. Not expecting backup the villain bolts. Aizawa feels small hands helping him into a sitting position – his stomach starts to sink. When the short masked figure with curly hair speaks he feels his heart turn to ice. The figure couldn’t be older than 11, probably closer to 10.

He wakes up in the hospital and he makes it his mission to save these kids.

Ghost All Might is having a rough time. His boy is in danger and the best he can do is rattle windows and trip sprinting villains. He can’t help them enough.

He has a plan though.

He warns Izuku that he’ll be gone for a while and to keep safe without him and he goes out scouting. Being invisible and impermeable is normally a curse but when trying to find a paranoid 200-year-old super villain? It’s pretty damn useful. It takes months but eventually he’s not only tracked down All for One’s main hideout he’s also memorised his schedule. It’s nothing impressive considering the man is still mostly bedbound after what All Might did to him, but he won't be a pushover. It’s a start, though.

Izuku cries tears of joy when he sees All Might again and cries even more when he shares what he found. It’s do or die time. He offers every one of his friends the chance to split now because there is a good chance they’ll die, but none of them wants to leave him. With that, he starts planning.

They’ll need Eraserhead, no bones about it. Without him, there would be no way to strike the final blow. They spend a few weeks refining their stealth then they seek Aizawa out.

They knew he’d have a price for helping them, but they never expected it would be so high, but simultaneously so kind. In exchange for his help and a vow of silence he wants each child to let him help them, to find them a safe place to live, a school to go to – a future. Izuku has spent his whole life being told he doesn’t have a future, from when he was diagnosed quirkless to the almost 2 years spent on the run from Japan’s most dangerous villain. He’s still not sure he’ll have one, even with All for One dead, but he knows he wants his friends to grow up happy and safe.

He accepts.

With Aizawa’s help, with Dabi and Toga clearing the way and Shinsou standing in the wings as the last resort, Izuku kills All for One as he sleeps. Nothing flashy, nothing fancy, just quiet footsteps, a sharp knife and shaking hands.

Aizawa is horrified this child just killed someone in front of him, but Izuku is sobbing and All for One is notorious in underground circles so he keeps his quirk up until the blood stops flowing from his neck. He takes the children and flees.

[mcheang]

I was rereading your hunchback of Notre Dame story, and it got me thinking about the song God help the outcasts and how Lila is trying to make marinette into one I don't know how that can be spun/made into a story but if you can give it a shot then I applaud you👏🏼

God help my people

Post miracle queen

Marinette was mourning Master Fu and wasn’t feeling the usual fire about Lila lying.

It’s annoying how despite the fact that Marinette was back in school, some students still suspected her of being a bully. She understands. Damocles made all that fuss about expelling her and then later asked to keep the reasons for her return quiet so people would not ostracize Lila. Well, what about Marinette then? Doesn’t it matter if people ostracize her?

At least her class, Aurore, Mireille and Marc believed in her.

Lila was more careful about when she lied, knowing Bustier would stop her. At this point, Marinette is on a busting hiatus. No matter what she does, Lila always manages to lie her way out of suspicion. Tempting as it was to turn into Ladybug again and outing her in front of everybody, Marinette would rather not disgrace Ladybug’s image again.

She could always visit Alya as Ladybug but Lila would claim the heroine and her had a falling out.

She could call Jagged but she is a professional designer. Even if uncle Jagged gave her permission to sic Fang on her enemies.

Marinette had learned from Gamer 2.0 to do things at her own pace. Lila could wait. Her guardianship, on the other hand, could not.

It’s times like these that she could really count on Luka to settle her down. They would go on bike rides and enjoy a scenic view of Paris.

One day, Luka sensed Marinette felt sad. She explained it was because when setting up for Nathaniel's birthday party, Lila skipped the task of preparing party favours by promising to arrange a video session with his favorite manga artists, who also happened to be Marc’s fav artists.

Marinette didn’t mind the fact that Lila skipped another chore so much as she was raising Marc’s hopes.

But if she speaks out, people will think she is being mean.

Luka suggests that since she can’t tell her worries to her class, why not sing them to the world?

Coincidentally their bikes are parked near Notre Dame.

Marinette is nervous but agrees it is healthier to express her emotions.

And so she begins to sing in a sweet, angelic voice. Quiet compared to Clara Nightingale’s song, but it carried over the crowds and into their hearts.

I don't know if you can hear me, or if you're even there

I don't know if you will listen to a humble prayer

Yeah, crowds are starting to gather.

They tell me I am just an outcast, I shouldn't speak to you

Still I see your face, and wonder, were you once an outcast too?

Among them was Plagg. He’s a super immortal cat so he definitely heard Ladybug singing. He floated over, knowing Adrien would be busy with fencing for a while.

God help the outcasts, hungry from birth

Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth

Humans are cruel, even if they can be kind.

The lost and forgotten, they look to you still

But people still have hope.

God help the outcasts, or nobody will

Plagg felt empathy for Ladybug. She has so much on her shoulders. Some of her burden forced upon her by Master Fu. But while Ladybug was praised, Marinette was disbelieved when she voluntary tried to help. It’s not that dissimilar to Plagg’s reputation. People fear him but they forget that they ask for him to aid them in their wars or pestilence.

I ask for nothing, I can get by

But I know so many less lucky than I

God help the outcasts, the poor and downtrod

Marinette may have felt pity for others but what about herself? The others were being manipulated, but she was left alone to face her personal burdens.

I thought we all were the children of God

I don't know if there's a reason

Why some are blessed, some not

Why the few you seem to favor

They fear us, flee us, try not to see us

Humans can be so biased, so self-centered. Marinette is no exception but at least she tries.

God help the outcasts, the tattered, the torn

Seeking an answer to why they were born

Winds of misfortune have blown them about

Why did Plagg help the humans who cursed him? Why did Marinette help the class who took advantage of her and didn’t believe her?

You made the outcasts, don't cast them out

The poor and unlucky, the weak and the odd

I thought we all were children of God

We are not Jesus but we can try to follow his example. Show love instead of hate.

Plagg decided to help Marinette some more.

He’s the kwami of bad luck and whatever. Surely he can cause some nightmares. The class then began dreaming where a salty Marinette abandoned them because they chose Lila over her, and they realized how much they took her for granted.

Shocked by their nightmares, they felt guilty and decided to investigate the truth.

Truth comes out, and Lila ends up expelled after Alya furiously tells the principal her so-called disease is called compulsive lying! And if he doesn’t act mature for once then she’ll post the incident on her blog and let the public decide what they think of the Owl.

Oh, for the record, someone recorded Marinette singing and now she is asked to audition for La France a un incroyable talent

[cinnamontoastandtears]

random fic time

so, i got a request for a mcharrison teddy boy era first kiss, and putting aside how long it took me to write it, i also messed it up a little by turning it into a bit of an angst fest and making it way too plotty (must be riding my high from the other george/paul fic lmao) but i wanted to give this to y’all anyway so: here you go !!

(to the anon that requested the first kiss in the first place, dw, i’m going to write you another)

warning: drunkenness and a brief description of nausea

George stumbled up the steps with big thunks, feet heavy from the whiskey in his system, whiskey in his system because he’d been drinking alone.

Paul had been too busy with John to go out with him. Perfect John, with his perfect fucking hair, and his not-so-perfect guitar playing that even Paul, ever the perfectionist, seemed to love.

So George drank alone. And now he was coming back to the hotel alone, arms empty and mind clouded so he didn’t have to think about who he wished was in them. The view of their floor greeted him before he was ready to meet it and a groan left his lips.

He composed himself against the peeling wallpaper for a few minutes before steeling himself and trudging into the room he shared with Paul.

He found the slightly older man alone, surprisingly, strumming away on his guitar, fingers flashing and angry and not caring that they were making discordant sounds.

“Where’s John?” he muttered, letting the door slam behind him.

“With Stu,” Paul bit out, strumming hard again.

Oh. Right.

George had forgotten he wasn’t the only one that could be jealous. (Or something like that, it wasn’t that he was so jealous anyway, but-)

“Hmm,” George said, flopping down onto his bed. His stomach hated him for that, churning and sending a brief taste of bile to the back of his throat. “Guess you an’ I are one in the same then, eh?”

Paul stopped playing. George replayed his last words back over in his head, taking a minute to let it dawn on him. He shouldn’t have said that.

There came the sound of Paul moving his guitar to the side of the bed, and then more shuffling George’s deaf-from-a-crowded-bar ears couldn’t interpret. So late an hour, so complicated of feelings. His head felt like a brick.

Paul must have stood up in the lengthy amount of time it took George to figure all those sounds out (the shucking of a jacket and belt and shoes), for he was then standing over George’s bed, looking threatening as a shadow in the dark room.

“What do you mean?”

“What?”

“What did you mean, ‘we’re one in the same’?”

George knew. He knew what Paul meant, the question he was asking without even fuckin asking it, bitter with only half-wisdom on his side. (Paul was wise enough to figure himself out, not quite enough for other people. Though, of course, he was still a teenager, so there may have been lack of maturity involved as well.)

“Jus’…” George started, heaving his upper half from where it had finally rested comfortably on the lumpy mattress. “Jus’…”

He’d never been good at putting his feelings right. Never been good at explanations or confrontation or any of the shit you were supposed to be able to say to someone when you felt violated or when you wanted something. So maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the sheer-fucking-unfairness, but something deep inside made George gather all his feelings and spit them out of his mouth.

“You’re not the only one who gets to act jealous an’- an’ be a prick to everyone because of it. You do it too! Don’t be sittin’ there all stupid an’ angry and envious when you’re just as bad as John leavin’ with Stu to do god-knows-what. That’s not fuckin’ fair.”

George got the impression he sounded whiny, so he closed his mouth, not wanting to give Paul any reason to call him a child or immature or anything so harsh. (Barely nine months. Barely nine months and he felt entitled to treat him like that.)

“What…?” Paul’s face wasn’t clear to George even though he’d shifted and his feet were in between Paul’s feet and he was looking up at his face. This didn’t mean that he didn’t know the exact expression that was etched there.

Ticked brow, slanted mouth, bottom lip pulled slightly in. George had studied this face at length. He knew how it looked when confused.

“I’m here, fuckin’ off by myself while you’re out with John, givin’ each other a hand or some utter bullshite like that, leavin’ me alone. An’ that’s why it’s not fuckin’ fair for me to come home an’ you to be awake an’ upset an’ goin’ ‘what?’ like you don’t fuckin’ know exactly what.”

If George was the type of person who cried, he’d be in tears by now, he’d be ugly-crying and sniveling and shit and Paul probably would’ve backed away instead of doing what he did instead, which was to sink down next to George on the bed and sigh.

“I…” he started, then stopped. It almost made sense. Such an eloquent person, yet when the quiet one spoke up, all his words lost. “How do you feel about me then?” he asked instead, turning the burden of talking back to George.

The room was still dark, his head was still fogged, Paul’s shoulder brushed his and he shuddered. That should’ve said it all, really.

“What do you mean?” he asked, unintentionally mirroring Paul’s question from earlier.

“You’re jealous of me-“

“I’m jealous of John.”

“Oh. Well… right, well, jealous of him then.” Paul paused again like he was going to say something else. “For…?”

“For replacin’ me.”

“Oh.”

“Continue,” George offered, motioning with his hand.

“You’re jealous of John… for replacin’ you… an’ you’re angry at me for bein’—“ George wondered if he’d admit it, “—jealous of Stuart.” If George was a bit more sober he’d be impressed. “So I just wanna know what you think of me. Are you angry or do you wish that you were in John’s place, gettin’ to be with me like…”

George’s brain alerted him to a tone that hadn’t been in Paul’s voice before. Something almost flirtatious, walking a dangerous line between something he wanted and something he wasn’t sure he wanted. He’d always just wanted to be close to Paul. Who wouldn’t want that? But this close, what the way his hands reaching down into the gap between his and Paul’s thighs implied, this close he’d never thought of before. (And so what if that was a lie, it wasn’t like everyone was telling the truth tonight.)

“George?” Paul asked, letting George lace their fingers together.

“This is what I think of you,” he said, instead of answering the not-really-question, and put his other hand on Paul’s cheek.

“What—?”

“You known exactly what.” And George kissed him.

He hadn’t had many kisses in his life time, exactly, but enough to know when a kiss was good. Kissing Paul was good. Not right, something this taboo couldn’t possibly be right, but good nonetheless, heavenly somehow, Paul’s favorite—perfect.

Paul’s lips were soft and small and wet, and George couldn’t believe he was kissing them, that their lips were the ones meeting and not Paul and John’s like they always threatened to. Then Paul pulled away just a second to breathe, gasping and moaning just the tiniest bit, which sent George’s mind away, leaving him unprepared for when Paul dove in again.

George pushed him down into the mattress and Paul let him and Paul was letting him, and he was kissing back and…

They pulled away eventually and George rolled off of Paul’s chest, not wanting to crush him with his… well he didn’t weigh much so it might have been fine, but even still.

“That’s how I feel about you,” he managed to say, voice the tiniest bit wrecked from kissing for so long.

“I… me too… how I feel about you too,” Paul said, sounding like he was in a dream, somewhere far away.

This confused George. He’d only just figured out he felt for Paul this way, and didn’t he… didn’t John and Paul…

“What about John?”

“What about him?” Paul asked.

“Don’t you… how do you feel about him?”

George felt Paul turn toward him, so he turned too, and they were facing with each other and this was confrontation, a thing George wasn’t good at.

“I don’t… me an’ John are friends, Georgie. That’s it.”

“But you… but why…” There were several things that didn’t make sense about this. If Paul really liked him, wanted to kiss him and be with him, why did he spend all his time with John? Why did he ignore George, why was he only even here in their room because John was with Stuart?

“No.”

“No?”

“That’s still not fair,” George whispered, pretending that tears weren’t pricking his eyes. (And maybe he was the kind of person who cried.) “You can’t be tellin’ me you feel this way about me an’ then ignore me an’ be mopey when John’s gone. You can’t do that, Paul. What is that kinda shit?”

“I…” Paul started, then stopped again, losing his eloquence all over. “I don’ know…”

That wasn’t good enough. George said so and Paul’s eyebrows turned into each other and George wondered how he could save this friendship.

He didn’t have any time to think about that though because Paul kissed him again, and he wanted this, and this was what he wanted… wasn’t it?

“Paul…” George pulled away from the kiss. (How could something that felt so good be so bad and wrong and-)

“George, I don’ know how to explain myself. Maybe I was jus’ so scared that you were gonna reject me that I spent all my time with John to avoid that. But I promise, really, I promise, Geo, I don’ feel this way about John.”

The thing was, George wasn’t sure if he believed him. He wasn’t sure he was supposed to. But… Paul looked at him again, and the room was dark, and his eyes were shining, and they were alone.

So if they kissed a few more times or fell asleep in the same bed together, that would be enough right now. (And if John and Stuart came back the next morning, John’s collarbone littered with suspicious marks… Well, Paul wore them too, and George could lose a bit of the green in his eyes.)

[watery-lane]

Words into Smoke

The Night You Cared Sequel.

Pairing: Modern!Ivar Lothbrok x Reader

Summary: As a part of his therapy, Ivar writes letters to unwind and keep track of his mental health progress. He writes to his mom, he misses her. He writes to Sigurd, sometimes he regrets his departure. One night, he writes about her.

Warnings: Angst

Words: 3864

A/N: (3/5/20) I had this idea in my head that I simply could not let go. 

(10/4/21) P.S: Can’t promise I’m back, but I’m definitely turning to writing as a way of winding down. I hope you guys are alright.

Part I / Part II / Epilogue

Some nights, while the city sleeps, Ivar stays awake. Like an owl looking for a prey, the Ragnarsson remains seated upright at the edge of his bed, his now heavily tattooed chest exposed to the world through the panoramic window, heaving. Beating.

Some nights were amazing. He got his drivers license, and Freydis got him an adapted Bentley as a gift. He would spend the nights driving by himself down the empty streets of Kattegat, not worrying about speeding tickets or angry neighbours. 

Not so long ago, he learned his wife was finally carrying a child, her round belly reminding him that he had a legacy to keep, now that the Lothbrok dynasty seemed to be more fragmented than ever. After spending thousands of krone on in vitro fertilisation, the universe seemed to work in his favour. Their favour. If the gods were unwilling to bless them two, science would. These were the nights that were made for celebrations, champaign showers and water for the mother to be.

Some nights were alright. Ivar would come back after a long day of meetings and getting his ass kissed, to find Freydis immersed in her little personal projects. He would tell Erik to pick up some takeaway while he washed away the power and wrapped himself in mundane clothes. He would eat in silence, elbows propped on the counter and eyes on the horizon, watching the sun kiss the skyscrapers goodbye as he mindlessly put food in his mouth. Then he would take his new baby for a ride, to the bar he now owned with his brother Hvitserk. 

Ivar would go there, check the inventory and the register, ask the employees how everything was going and what could he do for them. Sometimes he would also find Hvitserk at the bar, practicing the cocktail skills he had been mastering since he took over your share of the bar. Ivar would simply walk past, not entirely avoiding making contact with his sibling but prefering to keep a healthy distance from the person that substituted you. He started visiting the local more often after you left, feeling the responsibility to continue what you started. He found peace in the simplicity of managing a bar: at the office, he was a tyrannic boss, voice always booming through the walls, keeping both employees and investors in check. At the bar, he was just the young lovestruck Ivar he once was. He understood then, why you wished to escape from it all. You are just a memory now, but sometimes he still feels you around, checking on the girls, checking on him.

Some nights were... Painful. Therapy had a big presence in his life. He no longer needed a cane thanks to nurse Hansen, his physical therapist. But on some days, the stress and the weather would simply take a toll on his legs, forcing him to carry around that metal stick that reminded him that he was, in fact, human. 

Before you left, Freydis figured out a question that would calm Ivar down and make him focus: “What would Dr. Nielsen tell you to do?”. That was how she got him to control himself and open up the last time he was onstage, the night she met you. They were just engaged back then. Oh, how quick did time pass. Ivar no longer organised events like that. He was too consumed by his two jobs. There were nights where Freydis would be on business trips, or out hanging out with friends until the next morning, nights where absences were felt more than presences. But he was coping now. Dr. Nielsen helped the youngest Lothbrok greatly since his great breakdown. 

Ivar had thought he physically felt his heart break the night he got down the stage to find you, only to figure out you were gone after most of the guests had left the hotel ballroom. He felt compelled to call you dozens of times to ask for an explanation. After his calls went unanswered, he decided to drive around town in search of you, not knowing where to start, not knowing where to ask, anger poisoning his brain and taking over his actions. That night he stayed at Loki’s after barging in to see if you were hiding there like “the coward you were”. He hated the fact that you could make him feel that weak. It felt like he was putty and Freydis was fire, hardening him the more he was exposed to her. You were water, turning him into a pliable being, at mercy of your actions.

For five days in a row, he found himself staying at his office until late at night, observing his office telephone with attention and indecision, silently praying for you to pick up the phone, practicing the rage filled words he was about to rain down on you the moment you uttered a response. He prayed with ill intentions, but he prayed nonetheless. It was his last resort. 

The earth seemed to crack open and swallow him whole the moment he gathered all his courage and dialed your number, only to hear an automated voice telling him that the number no longer existed. He sat there, phone on his hand as a white noise took over the voice message, thinking about the different possibilities that could have happened for you to cancel your line. Maybe, he thought. Maybe I really asked for too much this time. 

“Fuck no,” Ivar reflected out loud as he tossed his phone away, “In no fucking way this is my fault.”

“Ivar?” A distant voice reverberated through the glass corridors. It sounded familiar. The youngest Ragnarsson frowned, weirded out by the fact that one of his brothers was still in the office this late.

It wasn’t just one of his brothers, but the three of them.

“Freydis called us asking where you were. You’ve been out late at night for many days in a row, she literally just confronted each one of us asking whether you were having an affair.” Hvitserk said, arms crossed as he leaned on the door frame. “That woman nearly dragged each one of us out to look for you.” Ivar pursed his lips, outraged by such accusations from his then fiancée.

“Well, tell her I’d never do such thing.” He answered, swatting his hand in annoyance. “I am surprised she came to that conclusion, knowing how busy I always am as the bloody CEO!” He exclaimed, letting the following silence fill the room as he flashed a disdainful look towards his brothers.

“Why are you here, brother?” Ubbe finally dared to ask, observing his youngest sibling sway in his chair from side to side.

Ivar looked up for a brief moment, like a puppy who lost his favourite toy, and decided to tell them the whole story. That the had the hunch you were back from a strange event where someone knocked on his penthouse door. To that, Ubbe awkwardly shifted in his place, still listening intently. Ivar explained that he sent you an invite to his inaguration gala and how he asked you to stay for his speech so you could have a dance afterwards, unaware of the utterly personal turn his speech would take just because an old man decided to drink a bit more than usual that night. How he waited for you, called you and looked for you tirelessly, frustration filling his voice as he talked about how you had been avoiding him for a week now, changing your phone number in the process.

“If she thinks she can avoid me by changing numbers she’s dead wrong. We’re business partners, for fucks sake!” He complained, registering the situation as a burden. “I’ll find her new phone sooner or later.”

Unbeknownst Ivar, tension had been gradually building up as he spoke, his three brothers standing still in their places, not knowing how to break the news. Sure they knew this day would come, but none of the three expected to be trapped with the ticking bomb. It was way too soon. Too recent. 

Hell, it was about you. It was most likely no amount of time would soften the blow.

Ubbe took a step forward, leaning on the hardwood desk. With a resigned tone, he mumbled:

“She’s gone, Ivar.” He swallowed. “(Y/n) left Kattegat.”

Already motionless before, Ivar remained still. He darted his eyes to look at his brother, confusion and fear brewing within him, fueling a fire he thought it was extinguished the day he made Sigurd leave. With trembling lips but a determined voice, he asked how did he know. How did Ubbe Ragnarsson, the brother who would stab his youngest sibling in the back at the slightest opportunity, know the whereabouts of his woman, while he sat there completely lost, disoriented.

With an attempt of a soothing voice, Ubbe confessed that months ago he offered you a job position to work on a humanitarian project he had running in Haiti. Aslaug had stated in her will that she wished to expand the non-profit organisation she created to other countries and Ubbe decided to make his deceased mother’s wish come true. He told Ivar that while you rejected the offer at first, you ended up accepting it the night of his gala. That you made him promise to make the process fast and discreet, and that, while you insisted on paying for the plane tickets, Lothbrok Inc. paid for your travel expenses and necessities. You left three days ago, unnanounced, with only Ubbe at the airport to bid you farewell.

Hvitserk, who remained silent all this time, let him know that you were no longer the owner of the bar you opened together. At that, Ivar panicked, his eyes wide open as he snapped his head towards his older brother. You simply signed a transfer contract, with Ubbe as the witness and five krone as the contingency, stating that you were returning the property to Lothbrok Inc., thus paying your debt to the family and releasing yourself from any ties to Ivar. He tried to soften the blow, letting him know that he didn’t know you gave him your share because you were leaving. He thought it was a rash decision that stemmed from seeing Ivar with a fiancée, that you’d come back and take back the business when you were ready. He promised he’d take care of the bar as well as you took care of it, that nothing would change under his management.

Ivar listened intently, motionless. His breathing was deep, yet steady. He never moved a muscle voluntarily, but his nostrils flared with every breath and his hand, hidden under the desk, shook incontrollably as he processed their words. His piercing gaze was focused on the oldest Aslaugsson, who was now relaxing and straightening his back as he regained his composure.

It felt like every action happened in slow motion, yet the blow came fast. In mere seconds, Ivar had propped himself forward from the chair, one of his hands grabbing the jacket Ubbe was wearing while the other, contracted in a fist, made contact with his right cheek. That is when Bjorn, who had been silent during the whole exchange, stepped in, grabbing the torso of his youngest brother as he struggled to keep himself standing, making sure he didn’t hurt himself.

Sometimes, Ivar still hears his own screams.

“YOU TOOK HER FROM ME!” Ivar accused, eyes absent of tears but voice cracking at the end of the sentence. “SHEWAS GOING TO STAY,” He roared, fists swinging towards his brother’s face. “AND YOU FUCKING TOOK HER FROM ME!”

He lost it that night. The screams he released came from the depths of his sorrow, his eyes only registering red while all his nerves could only feel the desperation taking over his soul. Ivar kept trying to reach Ubbe, unaware of how he repeatedly banged his legs against the desk as Bjorn tried to pin him down. 

But what started as a justified outburst gradually led to nonsensical, rage-filled accusations.

“You wanted to fuck her, didn’t you? You wanted her and you couldn’t stand the fact that she chose ME!” Ivar recriminated, grabbing a sharp glass ornament and throwing it to his brother. Ubbe pursed his lips, dodging the improvised weapon. “You did this to get back at me, hmm? YOU WANT ALL I HAVE, DON’T YOU?” He seethed, eyes and mouth wide open, exposing his teeth like a menacing predator as he let out a guttural laugh.

Bjorn was having a difficult time restraining him. Years relying on his upper body strength gave Ivar the advantage of resilience amongst his biggest sibling, while Bjorn struggled to keep him in place. Ivar managed to grab the second glass ornament, throwing it as he shrieked.

“DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” his voice boomed in the room, palm pounding his chest as his free hand signaled the whole place. “YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME, I AM IVAR LOTHBROK! YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!” Ivar kept shouting, cursing as he spat towards Ubbe.

Hvitserk stepped forward, having seen enough, ready to take on his little brother. To his surprise, Ubbe halted him, his arm creating a barrier between Hvitserk and Ivar as he observed with intent and horror etched on his face.

That night, Ivar lost the little progress he made. He broke his femur, dignity left behind as an ambulance carried him to the emergency room.

As if that wasn’t enough, he lost another family member to Lagertha that night.

With a reedy voice as he laid down in the hospital bed, he asked Ubbe one thing:

“Bring her back.” He whispered, his eyes stuck in the ceiling, pretty certain that if he laid his eyes on his brother, he would kill him. “She is working for Lothbrok Inc. now. Bring her back.” His request was met with silence. “That’s an order.” He swallowed, nostrils flaring with each ticking second.

“I’m sorry, Ivar.” Ubbe mumbled. “The Sigurðdóttir Trust is out of your reach.” He reminded him, reopening a wound that Ivar closed not so long ago. “That’s what mother wished.” Ivar snapped his head at the mention of his beloved mother. The brim of his eyes were red like his sclera, a menacing gaze stabbing his brother as Ivar grabbed his wrist.

“You have three days to gather your stuff and leave Lothbrok Inc.” Ivar seethed as he moved his face closer to his brother. “If you’re not gone after that, I will make sure you’ll leave the premises crawling like I crawled as a child.” Ivar swore, releasing his wrist as he let his head drop back to the sterile pillow.

Up to this day, Ivar still saw Ubbe’s action as a huge betrayal. He knew his older brother would return to his life as the new addition of Lagertha’s legal team, Bjorn granted his little brother this little backup plan.

Tonight, his thoughts weighted a little heavier. His eyes scanned the city before focusing on his bedroom, where he finds the clothes he wore today discarded on the leather chair. Behind him, his wife slept peacefully, her baby bumb protuding more and more each passing day. His legs were alright, but with the absence of physical pain he could sense his yearning looming over his head.

Ivar sighs and stands up silently, his bare feet and metallic support dragging on the tiles as he moved to his home office.

Dr. Nielsen taught him the importance of adapted emotional releases. She actively discouraged Ivar from indulging in his impulses and told him to write them down instead. For business meetings, Ivar was told to count until 10, 20 or even 30 if he was encountered with bad news. When it came to personal affairs, Dr. Nielsen told him to write letters addressed to the pertinent subject. Ivar could write them and discard them, write them and take them to therapy or he could write them and send them to the addressee. 

It wasn’t the most effective exercise, but it kept his flame at bay. He needed to learn to do that, now that he knew he had a little one coming soon.

Sometimes he wrote to his mother, asking her questions about ruling an empire he wished he had the answer to. Those he kept, as a tool to reflect later on when his ambition peaked. The more emotional ones he’d take to Dr. Nielsen, a proof of his progress on his journey to... normalcy. The ones he wrote to Sigurd, those he threw away. In those pages filled with guilt and rage, he found himself cornered in a bleak past that seemed to refuse to let him go.

Tonight, he thought about you.

It wasn’t like you weren’t a constant presence in his mind, like an annoying tenant in his brain that refused to leave or pay rent. Ivar just chose to remember the best parts of you, those who could be found at the bar you owned, or on his bed when Freydis left him for the night. If he kept you alive that way, he would also keep alive that part of him he thought he lost. You were inevitable, like the pain after a blow or the kiss after a reencounter.

He wishes he could blame you. For leaving, for stepping outside the gala without waiting for your dance. For silently giving away your shares to Hvitserk, who the only thing he knew about bars was how to empty the alcohol pantry. But there is a part of him that cannot physically repulse you.

Ivar sits down and turns on the desk lamp in front of him. He finds his precious pen and puts a piece of paper on the desk. Before starting, he hesitates.

Dear (Y/n),

He groans, crossing the two words with disdain.

Hello.

“Hello?” Ivar shakes his head, crossing the word again.

Hi, princess.

Ivar cringes. No.

Frustrated, he discards the paper. He had done it before. Why was it so hard to do it all over again now?

Just... Jump right in. Start from the beginning, start from the middle, start from the end if you prefer. He recalls the advice of his therapist. Sometimes, formalities are overrated. It may help when you have nothing to say, but it becomes a burden when you got too much to say. Ivar reflected. 

And so he did.

Every night I drive through the streets of Kattegat I find myself looking for you wandering around, looking for me to give you a lift, for the memory of our first reencounters were the ones that helped us find redemption.

It is weird, but I still have the need to find you even though I know you are no longer here. The idea of you lives in my head, that I am sure of. The feel of you, that is what I miss.

I guess part of me feels like I still need to apologise for something that I’ve done.

At the sight of his words written on paper, Ivar blinks. He never consciously thought much more ahead of his negations, his feelings dictating the perspectives he kept imposing to his reality.

He sacrificed so much for you. He tried to change for you. He went to therapy, he learned to walk. Ivar tried to become the right man for you, he really tried. 

He wished you were there to see it.

Ivar doesn’t really know what he did wrong. All he knows is...

And now that you’re gone for good, 

He shakes his head, crossing the last two words.

all I wish for is to be in the wrong this time.

Ivar huffs in frustration.

I wish I had been selfish, I wish I was the old Ivar. I wish I had begged you to stay, to manage this empire I never chos- by my side.

I know you would have never wanted this.

But I know you would have never said no to us.

Mindlessly, Ivar puts his pen in his mouth, a subconscious tick he developped not-so recently. Passing his hands through his hair, he sighed.

I started to smoke. He confessed. I know you never liked the smell, how it clings to my clothes, my mouth, how it lingered around the house when my brothers decided to have one one in their rooms. Ivar snorts at the memory. Not that you’re here to tell me off. 

Freydis has been buying candles, they’re all around the house now. The smell of the cigarettes blends with the essences and I technically get to have fire dispensers in every single room.

“Maybe I’m waiting for you to magically show up and tell me to fuck off.” He whispers.

Suddenly, Ivar shakes his head, as if the physical gesture cleared his mind.

I guess I’ll have to stop soon, I have a baby on the way. He releases an airy laugh as he re-reads what he just wrote. Who would have thought, (Y/n)? A baby. Me. Your Ivar.

The young Ragnarsson lets out a tired sigh, strenghening his grip on the metalling pen as he mindlessly tapped on the crystal desk. With resigned resolution, he decides to write his last lines, telling himself that he is finally starting to accept reality.

I know you’re not going to come back. Not to the place we grew up at, at least.

If you ever do, I just want to let you know, as sappy as it may sound, that my heart will always be open for you, even when my arms are not.

I miss you.

I miss us.

Take care,

Ivar.

Dropping the pen, Ivar stares at his letter. His hands blindly search for an envelope, a frown etched on his face until his fingertips brush against the soft surface of the letter. You don’t know, but he found your new address. He searched around Ubbe’s old files.

With a careful manner, Ivar writes down your address on the envelope. 

He stands up, walks to his living room and grabs a jacket as he makes his way to the exit.

All of the sudden he stops right on his tracks, his free hand almost reaching to the door handle. Freydis seemed to have forgotten to put out a lone candle, a tiny fragrance dispenser resting on the entrance drawer.

Ivar may not be aware of a lot of things in life, but one thing he was certain of: smoke traveled faster than mail.

His hand was trembling slightly, but it managed to follow his instructions. With a swift move, Ivar positioned the ephemeral piece of paper on the fire, watching intently how the flames consumed his words and took them to you. Discreetly, he threw the burning letter in the empty bin, the lid cutting short the trail of smoke escaping from the container.

He makes sure ashes are all what it remains from his indecent confession and makes his way back to the bedroom. Slowly but steadily, Ivar returns to bed, nesting himself between the sheets before holding his beloved wife in his embrace.

Tonight, he was human. Tomorrow, he’ll have to be a God.

The end.

Taglist:

Note: This is the old taglist I have noted from my past Ivar ficts. Please let me know if you want to be removed or added by sending an ask here. 

@aesstheticallypleasing @captstefanbrandt @unicornbaby741 @fuckthatfeeling @huffelpuffers @yannii04  @collecting-stories @timber3 @darkwolfpeanutskeleton @vampsclassiffied @lenafarn @yourpurplequeen​@youbloodymadgenius​ @lettersofwrittencollective​ 

[slutsofren]

Danger Days Chapter 8: Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back

summary: finding shelter in an abandoned home, you try to keep your wits about you and care for the still unconscious Joel until some trouble comes knocking

word count: 3,792

content warnings: mention of gore and impromptu medical care, more canon-typical violence, death, murder, arrival of.... cannibals, y'know the deal hurt/comfort

notes: i didn't mention it last time but yeah, your shit really can kill you if you get your lower intestines punctured lol it's a real thing and gnarly af

read on ao3 / masterlist

You woke up in a start. Heavy breaths taking hold in your lungs. The small, barely considerable amounts of sleep were getting to you as they had been for the last month as more and more night terrors racked your brain. Rubbing at your eyes, you pushed yourself up to begin your usual routine.

It had been a couple weeks since your little group found yet another abandoned home and it took some hell of maneuvering to get Joel into the basement but it worked. The winter snow was coming in full force and it was peritive you all kept Joel as warm as possible, there were too many odds stacked against him.

Walking over to his prone body, you checked on his wounds once more as you did practically every couple of hours. He was looking worse for wear, even changing out the gauze could only do so much. Whatever small amounts of clean water the three of you had went to cleaning it out, hoping to stave off the infection.

Joel was, by all means, not doing well.

To top it off, even with your meager amount of medic training from your days with FEDRA could never prepare you for the long-term haul you were in with Joel, he was dying. The bastard was dying and you couldn’t help but feel it was your fault.

Night after night you were haunted by the image of him falling off that balcony, the sounds of his groans of pain still lingered in your head even when you were awake. It fucking sucked.

He was asleep now, he barely woke up since everything went to shit at the university then at the mall. That in and of itself felt like a lifetime ago. You put a hand against his forehead, feeling how his fever still hadn’t broken. With the chill in the air as winter was fully settling in making your fingers cold as ice, he didn’t even flinch away. You closed your eyes and sighed, still not wanting to give up. Not for Ellie, not for Tommy, not even for the grumpy man himself.

A quick glance out the small basement window told you it was nearing dusk which startled you. Ellie had left when the sun was at its peak, sometime around noon, surely. She had been gone much much longer than she normally would have.

Usually it was you who left to go hunting for food once your supplies dwindled but Ellie wanted to help relieve the burden from your shoulders and you reluctantly agreed. Yo hated to admit you needed a break. She had argued she wanted to get better with her bow and arrow and she certainly did, often bringing back animals of various sizes. It was her way of coping with potentially losing Joel, something she confided in you that was one of her biggest fears.

Thoughts of Ellie swirled your mind and you paced back and forth, chewing at your fingernails. A nasty habit you suppressed most days. A part of you wanted to go find the girl, follow Callus’ tracks in the snow. Another part of you didn’t want to leave Joel by himself.

Fuck, you thought.

Compartmentalizing you figured if she didn’t return within an hour, you’d go looking for her. If you couldn’t locate her within a mile radius, a strict rule you enforced her limited hunting zone to, you’d hunker down with Joel and wait until morning to find her and scold her for being irresponsible.

You stopped your pacing to look at Joel’s face, seeing how his face was still warped in the painful scowl he hadn’t let go of. His features were beginning to slowly become gaunt as the small amounts of food you’d been able to get him to eat the rare times a day he’d wake were coming far and few in between. Even his usual tan skin was slowly softening to a cooler shade of bronze. He looked like death.

Joel, by all means, was a handsome cowboy. Even with his patchy beard that was littered with grey hair in a few spots. Now he just looked like a ghost of himself.

Okay, fine, you admit to yourself. With Joel down, you’ve kind of missed the fool. You missed the banter and arguing with him about stupid shit. He irritated the daylights out of you because he always wanted to jump headfirst into things without a care for his safety clearly but dammit, the lack of his presence was palpable. You hated it.

You sat beside Joel, removing one of his hands from under the blanket to hold. His hands still rough and calloused, mirrors of yours if you weren’t missing a finger. Once upon a time, you remembered hearing that coma patients could sometimes hear what people said to them, that it helped. Maybe talking to him now would help not just him but you as well, to keep your mind occupied. Maybe pass the time a little. Maybe.

“Hey, it’s me, you grumpy bastard,” you started off lightly. “I don’t know if you can tell but you’ve been puttin’ that girl and I through hell and back trying to keep your ass alive.”

A hollow laugh escapes you, feeling a little more choked up than you’d ever dare to admit. Composing yourself you tried to use playful banter. “How do you do it, cowboy? Ellie is a goddamned handful. Shit, I thought I was bad when I was a teenager,” you sniff, feeling your voice waver.

“When I first laid eyes on you two, I think it would have saved me a whole lotta trouble and pain if Maria let me shoot you,” you sigh dramatically. Even though there was a smile on your lips, it didn’t reach your eyes. What did were the tears that were slowly forming. The added stress of Ellie being missing was really wearing you thin.

Amongst other things.

“Y’know,” you sniffled, “you really hurt my feelings back at the university. When you thought I led the two of you into a trap.” You took a sharp inhale. “As much shit as you and I put each other through, that was the one thing that stung. More than anything.”

You squeezed his hand and sighed, closing your eyes. Admitting that was hard, stars know you’d never say that to Joel while he was conscious nor in front of Ellie.

“Don’t die, you asshole,” you begged softly, wiping away the light tears that coated your lashes, reluctantly letting go of Joel’s hand as you tucked the blanket around him tightly.

After you said your piece, your mind became overrun with the little turd you grew fond of. The more you began to worry about Ellie, the more your thoughts swirled rapidly into worst case scenarios.

Before you worked yourself into a much deeper frenzy, a loud metallic bang echoed from upstairs. You ran up the steps and came face to face with Ellie, looking just as frantic. She raised her hand and in it, a tied white rabbit, so white it was nearly silver in the dim lighting. “I got food,” she said breathlessly.

“And,” she shoved you aside and took off to the basement, “I got this. Can it help?”

Ellie reached into her pocket and pulled out a syringe and orange bottle, she handed it to you while kneeling next to Joel as he shifted in his sleep. You were still rather shocked to see Ellie who looked faintly bloodied and tired, before you could comment on the new rifle on her shoulder, you took the bottle and were damn near milliseconds from riding into her until you read the faded label of the glass container.

Penicillin.

“Where the fuck did you get this, Ellie?”

Without waiting for her to answer, you dug in your pack and pulled out some disinfectant alcohol and a gauze pad to clean the syringe and a spot on Joel’s arm. Ellie refused to look up from where she kept her gaze focused on Joel’s face, “‘s not important.”

“If I wasn’t so mad at you right now, I’d kiss you.”

Throwing away all the questions you had for her, you administered the antibiotic as quickly as you could, he sighed as the medicine entered his body. Although, it was likely you were giving him too much, truthfully, you didn’t think it would hurt him worse than he already was.

As he relaxed underneath your hands, you looked down at his wound one last time for the evening. The haphazard stitches were taut on his stomach where the swelling was, hopefully by morning, he’d be better.

You didn’t look up from Joel as you laid into Ellie, “I don’t want excuses about where you were, only that you promise me to be more careful in the future, please.”

“Ye- yeah, I promise.”

“Good,” you covered Joel back up, “Now go get some rest. I’ll take care of the rabbit and wake you when it’s done.”

You turned your back to Ellie, it wasn’t that you wanted her to feel bad for her little disappearing act. You just needed some space to gather your thoughts. Between being Joel’s caretaker, Ellie’s temporary guardian, and keeping yourself sane, you were a wreck. You needed a moment.

Before you took a step on the stairs you paused. “Good work on getting the medicine, kiddo. Joel would be proud of you too.”

She didn’t respond as you walked away, the implication that although you were upset with her, you were still proud lingered in the air. Mindlessly, you focused on the rabbit, doing what needs to be done to cook it for dinner, pushing away those lingering worries. Ellie was safe, you reminded yourself, she came back.

It didn’t take you long to finish with your meager dinner, still pretty damn proud of Ellie’s evolving hunting skills. Maybe you’d offer to teach her a couple snares in the morning to leave out overnight. Although they tended not to gain anything bigger than a rabbit or a squirrel, something was better than nothing and you’d figure it would help Ellie focus on something other than Joel’s condition.

You bounded down the stairs, bringing the freshly cooked meat with you. A small shake to her shoulder and she was awake, “Dinner’s ready.”

Ellie didn’t bring her gaze up to look you in the eye, likely still ashamed. The two of you still sat in silence eating, occasionally looking to Joel for any changes or whenever he shifted in his sleep.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice sounding small.

“I know, Ellie. I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I was just worried.”

Once again, the silence encompassed you both like a blanket, warmer now than it was before. You broke it first, “I was thinking about teaching you a couple snares in the morning. How does that sound?”

Ellie wiped the grease from her fingers on her jeans and looked up, “I think I’d like that.”

Just like that, the two of you were on even footing. It didn’t feel right to be mad at each other, not when Joel wasn’t there to diffuse. Either way, it was much like when you were the one in between their own fight that day you’d met them, it wasn’t healthy when you all had to rely on each other for survival. At least with Ellie, she was quick to forgive and forget in the face of the larger picture. A quality you kind of admired in the young woman.

Both of you finished with your portions of the meat, saving the rest for the morning or for Joel if he wakes in the night. Simultaneously you shuffled through the remaining ammo together, doling out some spare bullets to Ellie for her shiny new rifle, still not going to ask how she acquired it. Let her have her space.

She took the bullets graciously, reloading her sidearm and long range weapons and placing them in her backpack before getting ready for sleep. You stayed fiddling with your own weapons for a few moments longer before calling it quits too.

You laid down on the opposite side of Joel, biting your lip and hoping for the best. You tossed and turned, not knowing if you could take facing Joel’s sickly frame but you also couldn’t turn your back on him and Ellie who laid on her backpack on his other side.

Please, you wished, let the medicine take.

These kinds of wishes filled your mind until you slowly drifted to a fitful night’s sleep.

By morning, you happened to find yourself shaken awake with Ellie’s face close to yours, “Wake up, I need you awake!”

You jumped up, onto your knees. “What is it,” you ask startled, afraid Joel was worse than he was when you fell asleep. Looking at Joel, he didn’t look like he deteriorated in the night, but he also didn’t look like he improved any.

“I was tracked,” she says as if that explains anything. Both of you have your hands on each other's arms in a failed attempt at communicating the other’s panic.

“What do you mean ‘tracked’, Ellie?”

“Those people I got the medicine from, David and-and James, they fucking tracked me!”

“Ellie, what the fu-.”

“Look, listen, I’m gonna draw them away. Keep an eye on Joel,” she tells you in a rush, letting go of you and bolting up the stairs, grabbing her backpack on the way out.

“Fuck,” you practically shout while getting up and looking out the window. Outside you see silhouettes of a few men, searching the nearby area. Frustrated, you kick the washing machine.

Shit, shit, shit.

You don’t know what to do, you feel tied down once again because of Joel’s condition and Ellie’s neverending saviour complex. You mumble out a few more expletives at this situation just as you see the girl bound down the street on Callus shouting for the intruder’s attention. As she rides away, you hear bullets being shot at her, getting further and further away from you.

You carelessly threw your denim coat on and opted to grab your knives instead of guns, hoping to kill anybody who came close without alerting the others. Out the basement window, you could see a few of the men still lurking about, choosing not to follow Ellie.

Just before you followed Ellie out of the house, you doubled back to Joel, kneeling forward and giving him a kiss on the forehead. “We’ll come back, I promise you Joel. Just please, don’t die on me now.” Another kiss on his warm skin and you left without stopping, barricading the basement door as if it was left unoccupied.

Everything in you wanted to panic, your muscles were screaming to fold in on yourself and heave what little food remained in your stomach but you couldn’t give in. Not when Ellie was in danger. She may have been a pain in the ass, but she was your pain in the ass.

After your conversation last night, you’d be damned if anybody hurts your girl.

Taking a deep breath, you shook your worries free and cleared your mind. Although you were a field medic by title with FEDRA back in the day, working with them turned you into a killer. It was a toxic mindset for you, even when you had joined the Fireflies, they took advantage of your ability to focus on one thing and one thing only, turning it into their own game - death.

It took years to shake off that blank emotionless part of you, even Tommy was afraid of it when he saw the horrendous things you were capable of, what the Fireflies exploited from you, but Tommy wasn’t here and the people you loved were hanging on by a thread.

It was easy to see the outlines of the few straggling men who searched the nearby homes, whatever Ellie did really pissed them off. Now, these people only pissed you off.

You stayed lurking within the shadows of the homes, even with the sun just getting ready to set, it wasn’t too difficult to stay hidden. Especially to those who weren’t familiar with the layout. It was easy to spot how the few men tended to remain within a handful of yards together, opting not to venture out into the buildings alone. Alert and yet unorganized as you could see how they would often turn their backs on each other, giving you such a delicious opportunity to sneak in and out, weaving through them and taking them down one by one.

Was it absolutely horrible this was your instinct? Maybe. But you had two people you wanted to protect, two absolutely annoying yet selfless humans who gave you hope. You did love Joel and Ellie, even if you hadn’t admitted to it yet. Besides, you had a whole lot of stress burdening your shoulders and you wanna hit something.

You watched as the small group approached one of the homes off to the left, allowing you ample room to get close without having to cross the street in the open. You took off running, not bothering to try and conceal your footprints in the snow as you got to the house besides the targets. You entered through a broken window - a common for every single house on this block. Taking lighter footsteps, you ducked by the windows and reached the second floor landing.

The homes in this area were built within close proximity to the others, making it easy for, say, somebody needing to jump between windows without being seen. Perfect.

You listened hard and close as the men shuffled and tossed things around the first floor, looking for any sign of Ellie and ‘those two people she was with’. You growled lowly, really hating the implication that these people knew about the three of you.

Taking another assessment, you noticed there were two men standing guard out the front of the house, idly walking to-and-fro, their conversation remaining on wishing they were chasing Ellie instead.

A deep breath in and you jumped with an ‘oof’, trying to make as little as noise as possible, aiming for a wide open window with a snow covered bed on the other side. Between the snow and the mattress, the noise was cushioned to only a small thud, thankfully concealed by the thuds of the men downstairs shuffling through rooms. You quickly got up and went to the doorframe and saw there was only a hallway and stairs leading down.

You took deeper breaths again, trying to center yourself for what you were about to do as you heard one person come up the stairs - alone.

Placing your body flush against the wall, you waited in stark concentration, drawing your knife from its sheath. The footsteps came close, nearing the room you were hiding in and just as an armed gunman came in, you rushed him. Putting one hand against their forehead, you pulled the other hand and dragged the knife into their throat, essentially cutting off the person from making a noise and ending their life. You pulled and lowered their body as they began to choke out, laying them on the floor gently against the wall, carelessly hiding the body.

Downstairs you could still hear shuffling of the other invader and you made your way to them, silently assessing.

From what you could tell, the other person was banging around in the basement. So you rounded a nearby corner to where the open basement door was until finally, finally, somebody came through. You took him down just the same as his buddy.

So unorganized, you thought. If they were really looking for you and Joel, they were doing a piss poor job of it.

You swiped a bottle from the kitchen as you strolled past, taking aim out a broken window. Giving it a nice little toss, it shattered against the other house and without fail, you heard the tell-tale signs of one of the other men asking ‘what was that’. You ducked behind the faded curtain until one of the targets came into view, watching how he was pensive and alert, fortunately he was by himself which made the next part just as easy.

As soon as the man walked by the window, you jumped out from your hiding spot and jabbed your hunting knife straight into the soft squishy part of his eye, surprisingly facing little to no resistance.

You pulled it back and repeated the motion again once the man made an audible noise, probably alerting his friend. In only a slight rush now, you jumped out the window and removed your blade, now stalking towards the front when you could hear the other man yell the other’s names.

Wrapping around the corner of a house in a whirlwind, you surprised the last one when you stood face-to-face with him. He looked at you, astounded, mouth agape and dropped his weapon - a handgun. Looking down at his body, he whimpered as he took in the sight of your knife now buried deep in his stomach as you yanked them up into his chest piercing his heart.

Copper scent filled the air as the hunter’s body gave out. His blood spilling down your front. Under normal circumstances you would’ve likely vomited all over yourself but considering the innate need to protect Ellie and Joel, all that shit is blown out the window.

All in all, maybe thirty minutes have passed, you wanted to check on Joel but the distant gunshots were making you worried. At the very least, the longer they went off, the longer you knew your little fighter was alive.

Okay, think, you tried to get yourself to focus. You came up with a rapid-fire plan and before you could second guess yourself, you ran. Refusing to stop. Each step in the plush snow found you closer and closer to your hideout.

Entering the home through the garage, you gave Whiskey a pat as you walked on by and headed straight for the basement. You pushed the undisturbed barricade from the door, grateful it signaled that Joel was safe. Entering the downtrodden room you grabbed your holsters, strapping them maybe a little more tightly than you should’ve and throwing your backpack over your shoulders. You double-checked your weapons, making sure they were fully loaded.

Once again, you kneeled next to Joel as he laid on the dirty mattress, huffing from the rising pain from the stitch in your side. “Joel? I’m gonna go back out and find Ellie. I’m gonna go get our girl,” you said.

You hoped you were telling the truth.

[dershloop]

Title: Burning Pile

Words: 2410

Ship: Lava

Warnings: depressive episode, mentions of worthlessness. i wrote this based off od how my own depressive episodes tend to happen/come about so this might not be accurate to everyone so dont start yelling at me if its not "how depression is for you" anyone who says that will be blocked. its more of a comfort fic to get me through the last week of school.

Cole yawned, throwing his bag on the floor and rolling his shoulders, feeling them pop satisfyingly. Finally, he was home. Rubbing his eyes; cracking his neck and feeling his limbs come alive once more. He hated long car rides, they cramped his limps and make him travel sick. That’s the problem being tall and large; the back of cars wasn’t made to accommodate you. Jay kept telling him to learn to drive himself, but he didn’t have the time. Being a ninja was surprisingly hard work, with little time in between to learn to drive. He’d just have to make do.

“Oh Cole, hey dude, forgot you were coming back today,” Jay said, walking into the room, leaning against the counter, a strange look contorting his face, “How’s your dad?”

“Not too bad. Still pretty insistent on me being a good singer. Apparently, I just have to ‘dig deep. Something tells me he’s never going to back off with it,” Cole said with a laugh, Jay laughed, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, “Are you ok man? You seem… I dunno. Off,” Jay’s face fell, his mouth scrunching nervously.

“You’re gonna be so pissed I didn’t tell you but… Kai’s not ok, he-”

“Wait what? What happened, where is he?’ Cole said frantically, his face falling in panic.

“I don’t- I don’t know dude! He’s barely been leaving his room, I don’t think he’s showered all week and I’ve barely seen him eat anything. We’ve tried to give him stuff and made him drink some water but-” Jay didn’t get a chance to finish, Cole pushed past him, dashing to his boyfriend’s room. From what he could gather, this had started a week ago. When he’d left. He hadn’t had a depressive episode in months now; had him leaving been the catalyst for all this? He was sure he’d been careful, he’d texted him every day. Even if they hadn’t called, he hadn’t asked. Besides, his dad didn’t know about them yet, he didn’t want to accidentally come out because of a phone call. Either way, if Kai had been in a bad way he hadn’t seemed like it. Apart from not asking to call, he’d seemed relatively normal. No slow replies. No giving texts. Nothing.

Cole softly knocked on Kai’s bedroom door, though it seemed pointless. No matter the response, he was going in there.

“What?” A hoarse voice called from inside the room. Kai’s hoarse voice. Cole opened the door, staring in awe at the state of the room. It was… messy to say the least. Clothes were scattered across the floor, making it so you couldn't even see the carpet. Mugs and glasses and bowls and plates littered around, just extra obstacles to the already high-staked trek to Kai’s bed.

“I’ve told you guys, leave me alone!” Kai yelled pushing himself up from his flat position on the bed, twisting his head around and staring at Cole, slightly gone out. His face fell when he realised who it was, staring at him solemnly from his position in the doorway.

“You’re back,” He murmured, twisting himself around fully so he was looking at Cole. Properly this time.

“Yeah,” Cole said softly, stepping carefully around the rubble and decay scattered all over the floor, sitting down on Kai’s bed when he finally got to it, “What… What happened?”

Kai shrugged, not looking at Cole. His hair was slicked back, matted to his skull with grease. Pimples beginning to form on his face, the lack of skincare irritating his delicate skin. Cole would be lying if he said he didn’t look gross and smell just as bad, but that didn’t put him off. Obviously, something was wrong, what kind of a boyfriend would he be if he didn’t do anything.

“I just… started feeling empty. I don’t care about anything and I have no motivation to do anything but… I didn’t want to be a burden, and I knew that if you suspected anything you’d come back so I just played it cool. Half expected one of them to tell you but… I guess they didn’t want you cutting your trip short for me either,” He muttered sadly, still not making eye contact. He couldn't. Not in this state. He was disgusting. His breath stunk like he’d just eaten something that’d been dead for a while and he probably stunk like something that’d been dead for a while too. Despite barely leaving his bed, his face was gaunt, his cheekbones beginning to further protrude, this time to an unhealthy degree and his eye sagging, purple eyebags hanging down as if weighing down his entire soul.

“Oh firefly,” Cole mumbled, opening his arms and wrapping them around Kai’s shoulders and pulling him close, feeling as Kai slowly relaxed into his body, not moving his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Kai said softly into Cole’s chest.

“For what?”

“Not telling you. Lying to you.”

“I don’t care. You have nothing to be sorry for, you weren’t in the right headspace and still aren’t. But I’m home now, so I’ll help you get out of this. Have you been taking your meds?” Cole said, still speaking in hushed tones. He wasn’t 100% sure why, but it seemed to be comforting to him, so he continued doing it.

Kai shook his head slowly, knowing he was about to get lectured.

“Ok, that’d explain a lot. Let’s start with that then,” Cole said simply, standing up and looking down at Kai.

“What?” He said, confused as Cole looked down at him expectantly.

“Come on. I’m taking you to take your medication,” Cole stated, holding out his hand, “If I bring ‘em to you, you’ll not feel any better.” Kai sighed and took his hand, letting his boyfriend’s strong form pull him out of bed. He slumped over slightly, his legs barely able to keep him standing. Letting his arm hang limply, his hand barely holding Coles, they walked out of his room and to the kitchen. He wasn’t 100% sure he was even in the room with him, his mind fuzzing in and out of focus from his surroundings. One moment, he was in the kitchen with his boyfriend. Next, he was in his head, letting his thoughts run wild. The latter was less than ideal; especially without the prescribed dosage of antidepressants in his system; but he didn’t have the energy to care.

“Ok,” Cole said, putting 2 small pills down in front of Kai along with a cup of water, “Take them.” Kai nodded, letting go of Cole’s hand and picked up the tablets, sloppily placing them in his mouth and swallowing them with the cool water. It felt heavenly, rolling down his dry throat and even drier tongue, giving them a new lease of life.

“Better?” Cole said softly, taking Kai’s hand back in his own. Kai shrugged, leaning against Cole and closing his eyes.

“Don’t bother going back to sleep on my arm, there’s more,” Cole continued, firmly but lovingly. Kai knew it was for his own good but… he just wanted to get back in bed. There was an immovable weight on his chest, dragging him down and increasing the effort to keep himself upright. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could actually stay stood up.

“Ok, have you had something to eat today?” Cole asked, taking Kai’s other hand and looking at him softly. Kai nodded, looking back, but not quite meeting Cole’s eyes. His heart twisted with every beat in his chest; his stomach turning in knots. He knew he couldn’t give in and let him go back to bed- he’d never feel better while he’s in this state- but the look in his eyes. It was so… void. So tired. So… emotionless. Yet full of emotion. Twisting and turning. Hurt, anger, sadness and an utter lack of anything positive.

“Ok. In that case, only 2 more things. We’re gonna brush your teeth and shower,” Cole said, Kai’s face falling in desperation. Evidently, he didn’t want to do either of those things; but Cole knew full well that he wouldn’t do it of his own volition.

“Please, firefly. We can watch a movie or something after that. I just… want you to feel better. I’m doing this for your own good. Plus, I’ll help you. I won’t get in the shower with you, but if you need help with anything I’ll stay in the bathroom while you’re in there. Just… how about this. Just wash your hair. Then I can put some deodorant on you and wipe your face. Are you ok with that?” Kai nodded in response, eliciting a small smile from Cole.

“Good. I’m so insanely proud of you Kai, for working with me here. I know how hard it can be when you get like this so I know how much it’s taking for you to do this right now. So, I’m insanely proud of you for actually going along with me,” Cole said sincerely, raising his free hand and resting it on Kai’s cheek. Kai leant into his hand and smiled a small, but tired, smile, raising his own hand and resting it on top of Cole’s.

Walking towards the bathroom, Kai took a reluctant breath and stepped inside, Cole following soon after. Cole turned the water on, pulling the mildly disgusting shirt off of Kai and tossing it into the laundry basket, letting him take off his boxers. Slowly stepping into the shower, Kai winced as the hot water hit his skin, cascading down his body and washing any surface-level grime away. His arms were lead; his eyelids hanging heavily over his eyes. He couldn’t do this.

“Cole,” He said weakly, not moving from under the warm water, “I want to get out.”

“Come on Kai, don’t give up now,” Cole replied softly, moving towards the shower and opening the curtain, seeing the exhausted look in his eyes, “I’ll wash your hair. How about that?” Kai nodded slowly. Cole smiled, pulling his own shirt over his head and discarding it to the side, reaching around his boyfriend and grabbing the shampoo, making sure Kai’s hair was wet enough before applying any. He slowly massaged it into his skull, looking down from his hair to Kai every so often to give him a comforting smile. Kai sighed contently, feeling the first bout of comfort; and even the first sliver of joy; in days. The feeling of Cole’s fingers on his head… knowing he was here and he was ok and alive. He was alive. Cole was here. The steady scratching and rubs keeping him grounded.

Quickly washing the shampoo out of Kai’s hair and turning off the water, Cole smiled, taking Kai’s hand again and leading him out and towards the sink. Cole grabbed his robe from the back of the door, bundling Kai up in it to assure he stayed warm. Cole laughed a little, looking down at Kai’s short, thin figure wrapped in his large robe, like a baby in a teenagers coat.

“What?”

“You just look really cute. You know like when a little kid just gets out of the shower. Their hair’s all slicked back and their bathrobe is about 10 sizes too big?” Kai blushed and crinkled his brow indignantly.

“I do not look like a child, not all of us were blessed to be 6 foot you know,” He huffed, pulling the robe around himself tighter.

“Yes, you do! You’re my cute little baby boy!” Cole said enthusiastically, noticing the smallest of sparkes light up in Kai’s eyes again as he glared indignantly at his boyfriend. With a laugh, Cole grabbed Kai’s toothbrush, putting some toothpaste on it and splattering it with water.

“Open up baby boy!” Cole said with a grin. Kai rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, allowing him to quickly brush his teeth. Grabbing a face wipe from the cupboard, he gently scrubbed the grease off of his boyfriend’s face. Then, finally, he grabbed a can of deodorant and sprayed him all over, banishing any thought of odour away from their minds (and bodies). Cole grabbed his shirt from the spot on the floor where it had landed earlier and pulled it back over his head.

“Hair drying time now,” Cole said, grabbing a clean towel from the cupboard and laying it over Kai’s wet hair, gently beginning to rub it, dragging the worst of the moisture out. Kai sighed in contentment, feeling himself shake and move as Cole dried his hair, the rough towel feeling heavenly as it dragged along his scalp, massaging any worries or unnecessary emotions away. Now all he felt was a deep feeling of peace and quiet.

“Damn, I’ll rub your head more often, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy,” Cole said with a laugh, continuing to softly rub his head with the towel, unable to contain his laughter at the small noises of contentment coming from Kai. Eventually, he took the towel back off his head and smiled down at his boyfriend, ruffling his hair affectionately.

“Now we just need to get you some clothes, then it’s dumb movie time,” Kai smiled, his lips softly curving into a smile; a real one.

“Can I wear your clothes?” he said softly, his voice still hoarse from barely speaking this last week.

“Of course firefly, it’d be rude of me not to!” Cole said lightly, taking his hand and leading him to his room, immediately grabbing his largest hoodie and sweatpants. He helped Kai put them on and stared down at him in awe.

“You. Are. So. Damn. Small!” Cole said happily, looking at his boyfriend’s small frame being taken over by his large clothing.

“No, you’re just too big,” Kai said indignantly, stuffing his hands in the pockets of the hoodie.

“You know I mean it lovingly, you just look too cute in my clothes,” Cole gleamed, his face lighting up in pure delight. Kai said nothing, just let out a small giggle, his face glowing crimson.

“Now come! My sweet little baby boy! We shall watch dumb movies made for people 10 years younger than us until you feel better!” Cole exclaimed, sweeping Kai off his feet and holding him bridal style, carrying him towards his own room where he dumped him on the bed, turning on the TV and preparing for at least a day of watching weird movies and enjoying each others company.

[adiabolikpastel]

Title: Lunar Eclipse Masquerade

Reiji pt. 3

Rating: PG-18

Word Count: 3,183

Pairing: Reiji x Callista (mxf)

ღ Reiji and Callista reflect on the night - and wonder about what comes next. Hidden between all their problems, something strange happens when the two are face to face. ღ

Mun Yu: We did it! These are the last pieces of the LEM story. The end to our Lunar Eclipse. I hope that you have enjoyed the ride, and gotten to know the stories on this blog better! Tune in at the end of it all for Authors Notes!

☆+ ﾟ .+ .ﾟ.ﾟ｡ ﾟ ｡. +ﾟ ｡ﾟ.ﾟ｡☆*｡｡ . ｡ o .｡ﾟ｡.o｡* ｡ .｡

Despite what most people think, demonic beings are very social creatures. The elites hold countless balls and parties, celebrating their immortality together, and entertaining one another with stories. Typically, they are done in celebration for something – though this is not always the case. All types of beings from across the Demon Realm will come if the host is of high enough prestige.

There would be no such host if it was not for Karlheinz. Seated as the head of the Bat Clan (vampires), Karl’s reach spans far. Being the widow for the former Demon King’s daughter, and having children of the first blood, an invitation from the Vampire King is not one to refuse. Though why would you? In his immaculate castle within the Demon Realm, Eden Castle, it is always quite the spectacle. While the celebrations held in his Human World mansion are nice, nothing compares to a true night of pleasure within the true home of the King.

On this night, there was to be a Masquerade in honor of the first Lunar Eclipsed Moon in over two years. While this night may serve each species differently, the idea to celebrate its return was simply too tempting. For this reason, Karlheinz took it upon himself – or rather – his house, to host the event. This extended to his offspring as well, regardless of their personal agenda. Members of every social elite race accepted the offer, and gathered for a truly unforgettable evening

The remainder of the night went by with little interest. Once Kanato’s mess was cleaned, there wasn’t much for Reiji to do. It was rather boring. In this solitude he found himself longing for Rika more than ever. He honestly had half a mind to visit her after all this was finished. Punish her for missing this opportunity to be with him.

There were times when he enjoyed Rika’s independence. She was a self-made woman, which honestly he was proud to stand beside. However, there are times when the need for her out weights that. This would be one of them.

Like his brothers, Reiji wanted to parade her about in front of other demons. To show them something out of their reach. The surge of dominance. Truly there was nothing quite like it. At least not to a being like himself. Yet all night he was forced to see his brothers expense that exhilarating feeling.

First Laito runs off with some woman, though that was not new for him. Honestly, when will he mature? It felt as though he were the youngest sibling. Even Subaru showed better manners. Speaking of – he just took notice that his half-brother had come with that android like shadow of his. Perhaps he spoke too soon about Subaru’s maturity. Bringing his ‘baby sitter’.

Although, considering what Reiji was sure the two of them got into – it would be somewhat appropriate for him to accompany Subaru. Their relationship was unsettling. He was sure Shu was also involved with that AKUMU as well. Though he hoped with their plan, Shu put that behind him.

Ayato seemed to have the best time, it was actually somewhat peaceful with him and Yuko-san. Either of them alone was trouble, so it was surprising that together they were behaving. Or perhaps they had a larger scale prank in mind that Reiji was yet to notice. Regardless, it was annoying to see them together. Simply for the fact that he was unable to be with his beloved. It did not help that Yuko and Rika share similar blood. Smelling Yuko was close to smelling Rika – just enough to tease his senses. However, it was clear the two were different.

The other brother with a date, who also caused the most ruckus, was Kanato. Reiji had gotten over that fleeting feeling of jealousy a long time ago when it came to those two. Yet tonight, he could not help but acknowledge that small tinge. Not that he was wanting Yuuki-san on his arm. It was more the general desire once more to have his own love. Any kind of attachment to the young woman now was simply familial – if any at all.

What might be the most upsetting, however, was the fact that even his father had ‘someone’ on his arm. Even if that was the – secretary that he brought on not too long ago. Their relationship was the most… unsettling. Reiji wasn’t sure what bothered him more. The fact that someone as grand as his father was having relations with a common siren, or the fact that the siren was a male who paraded himself around as a female. Even tonight, he clung onto his father’s arm like some sort of harlot.

The sight of them made him ill. Reiji had always respected his father, but this, well – perhaps the man was getting on in age. His life choices were showing that. Once the plan to take the throne was completed, Reiji was slightly worried that Skye Oakly would become a problem for them. That there was something their father was plotting with the siren.

While it was bothersome to see the others enjoying their time with someone dear, it was somehow comforting to know that he was not the only one alone tonight. Shu had also come without a date – though that was mostly by choice. Shu had yet to find a mate, which again, was why he was perfect for the plan. With no attachments to this world it would be easier for Shu to take the risk of fighting their father. He had nothing to lose. Reiji hoped that his brother would be enough for the task. He would be lying if there wasn’t a more hidden motive behind it all.

With his brother fighting, Reiji would not need to. There were many reasons behind that, and on this night of the Eclipse, he felt them all plaguing his mind. Even the ones he never thought to admit to himself. The most evident being that he was not good enough. Always second to Shu. Would his strength alone be enough to defeat their father? Reiji seriously doubted it. Then there was the most obvious thought of dying. He could not bare the idea of leaving Rika behind in such a way. Life had just found a meaning beyond simply existing.

Was that because of Rika as well? This was something Reiji had also not allowed himself to think about. No longer was he suck in this never ending night of repetition. Rika offered him something more. A life beyond. A life. A Future. That was all something he could not risk. So it was selfish of him to ask that Shu take on that burden. To risk his own life for the comfort of his own, and their siblings.

Lastly there was the deep rooted desire to see Shu loose. This was something Reiji truly hated himself for thinking. Damned if it wasn’t for the moon, he would still not think of it. That feeling since childhood. This hatred of his brother. It was something, in their current life, which Reiji was attempting to get over. Now that he was with someone who also had relationship issues with their sibling, he wanted to be better about it. Wanted to form some sort of bond with Shu. For deep down he knew that behind all that hatred was –

Enough of this self-refection! Reiji shook his head, forcing the moons influence out of his mind. This was not the time to get lost in thought – let alone thoughts that would do him no good. With that, he decided to locate his brothers so they could return back to the mansion. The only one he needed to locate was Shu, who had mysteriously vanished for most of the night.

Reiji hoped that he had not simply left the event. It would be prudent of him to at least try to get used to this life. If he was going to be King – things would change. As he scanned over the attendees, Reiji’s eyes happen to fall onto a familiar set of horns. A familiar dress. Ah, that young woman from earlier. Calli, was her name, if he recalled. She was headed to the dance floor, how envious, but a woman her age was bound to have suitors.

As the band prepared for their final set of the evening, the crowds seemed to part for her and whomever she was dancing with. While sweet symphonic notes filled the air, Reiji was able to see the hand that took hers. Shu!? What?! Reiji was shocked to say the least. His lazy brother was actually dancing. Wait – more than that – who he was dancing with!

Was he aware that Calli was the daughter of a demon lord? He was almost certain she was Ajax’s daughter. One of the noble clans. Eagles. If he was planning on doing something – no – Shu wasn’t like that. Was he? Reiji fought with himself on this matter. Would Shu honestly come to this event and try to leave with someone? He knew what was at stake here!

Not to mention who this ‘someone’ was! Surely if her father saw the two of them- Reiji quickly tried to locate the Eagle King. Thankfully he was currently occupied. Reiji recalled that he was the type to talk a lot. How could he fix this!? There had to be something, anything – even if it was just to get her away from Shu. That’s it!

Callista followed with Shu’s movements while the soft orchestra played for them. It was rather strange to be dancing with him – mostly because the two had just met. Also, and more so probably, because they had both agreed to officially go along with this ‘engagement’ their parents had devised. While the situation wasn’t ideal, there was little she could do about it on her own. It was comforting to know that Shu was also unsure about all of this.

Despite how the evening had started, Calli could breathe easier now. She had been so nervous coming to this ball. While at the main family home in the Makai, earlier in the month, her father had explained the idea of the arranged marriage to her. Of course immediately she was against it. What modern woman in her right mind wouldn’t be?

The idea that her life would be traded away for some, political gain, was atrocious. Callista wanted no part of the discussion, stressing to her parents that this was not the future she wanted. Her mother, Catalina, was more understanding of her position. This was not something the family had ever wanted for their daughters.

Being the current head of the Eagle Demon’s, Callista’s father, Ajax, had a world of responsivities to uphold. However, he had never, not once, allowed those to directly affect his children. Her older brothers, Alexander and Meteo, were welcome to choose their brides. Even if they were only choosing from the eligible demons within the high court. Smaller family names within the Clan.

Her eldest sister Evangeline, was able to marry a man she loved. While he was no price with large titles, she was given that choice. Sister Lucille was now married and living in the human realm. Even Ioanna, the closest sibling to Callista in age, was not forced to wed. She was out traveling the realms. Allowed to spread her wings, fly to far off places, to be free.

Something that Callista knew little about. Being the youngest for quite a long time, her parents – mostly Ajax- were protective. Calli was never allowed to travel without them. Sure the family took many vacations and trips to far off places together, but, her siblings were all able to do that themselves – or with friends. Which Calli was severely lacking. No one wanted to play with the Eagle Lord’s daughter – who not to mention was a shut in.

Though, growing up like that, she didn’t hate it. In fact, now there was nothing she loved more then to curl up and read. Read about anything really, whether it was fiction or non. The books she loved the most were about culture. Learning how humans and other demon species live. Gaining a better understanding of the world, without actually living in it. Thinking about that now, it sounds depressing actually.

All that to say, why does it now fall to her, to give up the kind of life she had always wanted? Why was this suddenly her responsibility, when being the fifth born, really shouldn’t mean anything – according to the books she had read on succession. So what made this different? Had the Vampire Lord’s son seen her and decided he liked her? Were things in the clan so difficult that her father had to secure and alliance this badly? Even if they were to wed, that would only have her lead in the name of the Bat Clan one day – not the Eagle – so what was the point? What did it all mean?

Callista found herself focusing on those questions as the news of this Masquerade came to their doorstep. The invitation to attend was extended to her parents, but it also made a special note to bring her along. Callista begged for her parents to reject the proposal. That there was no need for such a union. That it would do their people no good. That it would ruin the happiness she wanted for herself. She had thoughts that the three of them came to an understanding. That at this party, Ajax would reject the offer from Karlheinz.

That was until her father actually talked to him. She should have known. The most powerful being in the realms would have something in mind to bend things to their will. Sure enough, after their talked, her father came rushing over to tell her the great news. She would marry Karlheinz eldest son.

At first, Calli wondered if it would be the one she met on the balcony. Having met him just before the news, it might not be so bad. He seemed well put together, and spoke with an air of intelligence. She was happy to have met him under her own terms before being forcefully introduced to some stranger. Unfortunately, it was not him, and that very fear came to pass. She was presented to another man.

This one was taller than her, but not as tall as the other. His hair golden, and eyes deep as the sea. He looked at her with such… contempt? Or was it simply confusion? It was apparent that he was not prepared for this. Perhaps he was not told of their union until this moment. Well, she wasn’t either – at least the idea of following through with it.

It was nice to get away with him for a while. While introduced as Ririe, Shu was not quite what she was expecting from the next in line for the great power behind the Bat Clan’s leader. While his mannerisms might look incorrect, to the trained eye, you could see the years of practice that went into his existence. The way he moved and held himself, told her that he was raised with proper etiquette.

Shu was handsome. She had no complaints with his appearance. He did seem rather lazy – or perhaps he was simply tired from the night. The first time alone with a newly announced fiancé should be to nap on a fountain. That being said, there was grace in everything he did. There were no wasted movements. Every muscle he had was well trained, no matter how hard he might have tried to hide it.

While Shu released her for a twirl, Callista found a new set of hands take her own. Pulling her from Shu’s lead, and into another’s. A hand moves around her waist, while the first hand guides her into the frame of a new partner. Looking up, Calli’s eyes are met with a pair of pale magenta. Glared over just slightly from a pair of glasses, and the lights from above reflecting and blocking their connection.

For a brief moment, the world around her faded away. It was something like – looking into the eyes of- well… she couldn’t quite explain. A sudden feeling washed over her entire being. Normally if someone grabbed her as such, she would protest. However- something in this moment felt… safe. Secure? There were no precise words to describe it.

“Forgive me for intruding, I had promised her a dance when we met before. You don’t mind, do you Shu?” Reiji spoke to his rather confused brother. In typical Shu fashion, he simply shrugged and left the two of them alone. Reiji let out a small sigh of relief, thankful that Shu was not serious about pursing a night spent with Ajax’s daughter. “My apologies, Lady Calli. I did not mean to interrupt your dance but I –"

Reiji was spotted in his apology when he looked down to see her golden eyes looking back at him. They were mesmerizing. It has been ages since Reiji was truly able to look into the eyes of someone like himself. Not that looking into Rika’s eyes was not enchanting – but this – this was different. A new element of excitement flashed through him.

The knowledge that this woman could with stand his strength. That the eyes locked with his own were just as deadly. The body that was pressed against him would not bruise and break under the simply act of pulling her to him. The feeling of being with another immortal. It was exhilarating.

Callista could feel the power behind the arms which held her. Unlike with Shu just moments ago – these hands were full of purpose. A desire to hold her close. Even if it was simply to move her from Shu. Now in this embraced state, Calli would recognize this new partner as Reiji Sakamaki – who she had met earlier, just before Shu.

For brothers the two of them did not share many features. The same could not be said for her siblings – they all looked similar to one another. Yet these two, not even their hair color matched. Calli wondered what else was different. Their speaking patterns for one – Reiji was much more elegant with is words. Shu simply seemed to say whatever he pleased.

“I … was simply unware if your – father knew that the two of you were…” Reiji searched himself to find the right words. It was bad enough that his brother had stolen a dance with one of the great Lord’s daughters. Now he was doing the same. Yet as he held her against him – he found himself unable to let go.

She barely understood what he was saying – these overwhelming – almost primal, instincts were quite the distraction. “Oh… I-"

“Callista my dear!” Ajax’s voice boomed both of them back into their senses as the large Eagle brought himself over to them. “We must be going! Much to do back home to prepare for your big move!”

Reiji and Callista backed away from one another, both exchanging awkward glances and nervous laughs. “You are moving once again?” Reiji ask, composing himself. “Where will your family take nest for now?”

“Sadly my daughter’s journeys with us have ended. She will be moving into the Sakamaki Mansion! To get to know her new fiancé! Young Lord Ririe! The two should be very happy together – it’s quite the match if I do say so myself!” The demon let out a haughty laugh as he placed an arm around Callista.

“It… would seem we shall get to see one another again.” She blushes, embarrassed by her father’s outburst.

“So it would seem.” The news came to Reiji slowly. As he bid Callista and her father farewell, he couldn’t help but replay it in his mind.

Not only was this new woman about to enter their mansion – but she was … for Shu? Shu? His brother? This was impossible. How could that have even happened? Did Ajax come here with intentions of the two of them getting married? Or was it-!?

Just as the thought crossed his mind, Reiji could feel his father’s presence. His will. A calling to seek him out. Reiji looked about the – now less populated – ballroom. While he could not locate his father, he felt his message. Felt the intent behind his actions. Karlheinz knew of their plan. It would seem that – what was once something as simple as training Shu – now grew more complicated.

☆+ ﾟ .+ .ﾟ.ﾟ｡ ﾟ ｡. +ﾟ ｡ﾟ.ﾟ｡ ROUTE END ☆*｡｡ . ｡ o .｡ﾟ｡.o｡* ｡ .｡

[yugfics]

The Truth Untold jackson wang (angst)

/"I can’t show you me, give you me.  I can’t show you a ruined part of myself... But I still want you."/

The sound of water falling from the shower onto the tiled floor was drowned out by Jackson's thoughts.

Control yourself, he willed, as he held back tears with firmly shut eyelids. His hands were placed, supporting himself, on the sides of the sink in front of him.

His eyes opened and he found himself staring at a slightly fogged mirror. The man he saw in it was different from the one he knew. They had the same deep eyes, but the ones belonging to the man in the mirror were sad, lost -- there was no hint of joy in them like Jackson usually had, and there was no glint of mischief.

Because he always reserved that Jackson for you.

But this man in the mirror, this lost soul, who was bearing a burden that would never lift, keeping a secret he'd never reveal, this was the same Jackson, wasn't it?

Two sides of the same story.

He was hiding that side from you, and the promise he'd made to give you his whole self -- a promise he knew he'd never be able to keep -- was another thing tearing him apart every day.

Averting his eyes from the mirror, he opened the cabinet, reaching towards a semi-transparent, sky blue cylindrical container.

The pills it held rattled as he brought it closer. Staring silently at it, his grip tightened and tears pricked his eyes.

He was tired of people worrying, thinking of him as weak. It'd gotten to the point where he simply didn't tell anyone.

And when he met you, when he fell for you, when he knew he loved you, he knew he couldn't risk you leaving him.

He'd never let you know about his illness. The only thing that would lead to you finding out was when his time was up -- when he could no longer fight what was killing him from the inside out.

Unscrewing the cap, he dropped two pills into his palm before tossing them in his mouth.

He promised himself he'd fight for as long as he could, stay with you for as long as he was able to. And hope that when he was finally gone, you wouldn't hate him for what he'd kept from you.

This was a battle he was going to fight alone.

*** The wind fluttered in from the open window, causing loose strands of your hair to dance on the gusts of air.

You brushed them away from your face as you looked out at your street. The trees matched the autumn colours the sunset in the distance was painting the sky, and you adored the shades of tangerine and terracotta.

Stepping away as you closed the window, you heard your doorbell ring. The sound brought a smile to you face as you knew who it was. Picking your phone and your purse, you hurried down the stairs, opening the door to see your boyfriend, Jackson.

He smiled at you and you engulfed him in a hug. "I missed you,"

You felt the movement of his chest as he laughed in response to your statement. "You saw me yesterday!"

"And I wish I could see you everyday," you retorted, before he smiled at you, lifting his hand to your cheek and meeting your lips.

"Let's gooo," you said after he'd pulled away, holding his hand.

*** Jackson smiled lovingly at you as you took photos of trees and sky, anything you thought looked pretty, worth photographing. It was something you loved to do, something you were very good at, and Jackson loved how happy you looked when you were with your camera. The camera he'd given you for your birthday.

You had so many things to remember him by -- so many memories -- and it was this thought he appreciated most when feeling especially low about leaving you.

"It's Incurable, Mr. Wang, there's nothing we can do except prescribe a few pills in the hopes of elongating the... amount of time you have left. I am very sorry,"

Jackson had never felt anything as terrible as he did when those words came out of his doctor's mouth. "Exactly... exactly how much time do I have left?"

"Two years, at most, if you take your pills regularly,"

Two years.

That'd been two years ago.

"Jackson?"

"Are you okay?" you asked again, causing him to look at you.

He smiled, looking at you as if he was memorising every inch of your face -- like he never wanted to forget.

"I was just wondering what life would be like without you. It was terrible,"

You smiled and pushed him slightly as you both began walking. "Why would you do that? I want to be with you foreverrr,"

Ignoring the painful pang he felt at your words, he laughed. "Are you proposing to me?"

*** He was holding your hand in his, and you were leaning into him, a blanket covering both of you as you watched TV.

Jackson was beginning to feel uncomfortable, however, because he had the growing feeling that something was wrong with him. He hadn't forgotten to take his pills, and he stated intently at the screen, trying to gauge the problem.

Colours blurring, he was suddenly seized by a painful headache. "Ah," he said, clutching his head in his hands.

"What?" you asked, holding him and pausing the movie.

He looked at you, though you were nothing but a blur. Dazed, he stood up. "I just need to go to bed," he told you.

“Alright,” you said, softly, standing up and allowing him to lean on you as you led him towards your bedroom. You offered painkillers, but he insisted he didn’t need them. His headache had gotten better, and he could see normally. Despite being still worried, you helped Jackson into bed before laying down next to him, wrapping your arms around him. Eventually, you fell asleep, and he did as well, though he kept tossing and turning. 

*** Abruptly, he sat up. You were still sleeping and it was dark out. He hurried out of bed.

Something was wrong.

Reaching the toilet, he wondered if the feeling he had was just the need to throw up. Minutes passed, and nothing happened.

He began to cough. Surpressing it to prevent waking you, he brought his hand to his mouth, removing it when he'd stopped.

Blood.

Fear gripping him, he rinsed his hand and reached into the cabinet for his pills.

I'm dying.

He knew it now -- this wasn't like other times, this was real -- and this knowledge, after years of waiting, wasn't as painful.

He tossed his pills into the rubbish.

After another fit of coughing, he managed to walk over to your side of the bed -- on weak legs. Kneeling down, he reached out and brushed your hair behind your ear, careful not to wake you.

"I love you," he whispered, placing a small kiss on your forehead. The last he'd ever give you.

I have to tell her.

Scrambling for something to write on, he settled on a sticky note, taking a pen from your desk.

When he was done, he could no longer hold back his tears. Through watery eyes, he looked one last time at you, before getting up and leaving.

Though he'd been preparing himself for this day, though he'd known from the beginning that he'd lose you -- that you'd lose him -- having it happen for real was something he could never have prepared himself for. It's hard to believe when something you hold dear comes to an end, when you know it really is the last time.

Life is a series of separations, but he really didn't think there was anything worse than knowing you were being separated not from any single person, but from yourself.

Gathering the last of his strength, got to the ground floor, walking as far as a few metres from your condominum before finding someone to give him a ride to the hospital.

*** You woke up to an empty bed. Wondering if Jackson was in the kitchen or the bathroom, you listened. No sound whatsoever of another human being. You were alone.

He's left his things, though?

Sitting up, you reached for a yellow sticky note that was peeking out from under your boyfriend's phone.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this, and I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Because if you're reading this, I'm not here, and I probably never will be again. I should have told you this long ago, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being that selfish, I thought you’d leave me if you found out. Instead, here I am, leaving you. The rare disease I have, despite being incurable, is painless, and I tried to live my best life possible with you. You're the most important person in my life, y/n, every day I lived I dreaded leaving you, every day I hated that I couldn't tell you. I was afraid you'd leave me if I did. Know that I love you, though, I love you and your laugh and your smile and the things you enjoy and the way you love me. The way you make me feel alive. I promise that the last thing I think of will be you.

I hope you don't live resenting me because of what I kept from you. I love you. I love you.

The paper shook in your hand, tears streaming down your cheeks. 'Jackson' you thought. All you wanted was to speak to him and hold him and tell him he could share everything with you.

You wanted to tell him you loved him.

The room felt like large, hollow, empty. How could he leave you like that? How could he? 

Your phone lit up, and you turned to see that Mark, Jackson’s friend, was calling you. 

“Mark,” you said. “Jackson-”

“He’s here at the hospital. He called me while he was on his way,”

“Is he...” hope filled your body. Maybe he’s alive. The doctors could have done something... put him on something. Standing up, you began to walk towards your bedroom door, energy rushing through your legs.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I’m so sorry,” Mark’s voice wavered, as if he was trying not to breeak down. “He didn’t make it,” 

This information hit you like a bullet. For a few moments, you felt nothing, heard nothing. A deep sadness began to grow inside your chest, the weight settling. Legs suddenly losing stability, you fell to the ground, dropping your phone as tears began to stain your cheeks once more.  You dropped your phone and leant on the doorway.

He’s really gone. 

All you could think about was him. A year of him being your boyfriend flew through your mind. All the ups and down, the laughter and the tears. The times you’d told him you loved him.

His smile. He’d been keeping something so painful, yet he always managed to wake up in the morning and be with you, and smile. You curled up into into a ball as sobs wracked your body, and you were sure that you’d never felt so alone in your life.

[hiddlestonsbabygirl]

Care For Me (Steve Rogers au) SugarDaddy!Steve

•prologue•

An alternative universe where Steve isn’t an Avenger, but rather a CEO of one of the biggest companies in the US. His best friend and business partner Bucky secretly made him an account in an online dating site for sugar daddies and sugar babies, setting Steve up on a date with the only suitable sugar baby he thought was best for his best friend among the million others in his inbox.

It’s you. You’re the sugar baby.

Or,

Where reader is a med student who is badly in need of financial support and resorted to desperate measures by signing up to an online dating site with a little help from reader’s best friend, Nat.

•••

You ran up the staircase, not bothering to apologize as you bumped into strangers along the way. Your heart hammered against your chest as sweat outlined your forehead, thoughts running through your mind as you wondered what could have happened to your apartment. You just got a call from your good neighbor Mrs. Sally that the landlord stormed into your hallway followed by two men in white muttering angry words as he unlocked your door with his duplicate key. You knew instantly why he was there. You were getting kicked out of your own apartment since you weren’t able to pay for your rent in six months. The landlord had warned you beforehand to pay sooner, but it was getting harder and harder each day. You were already broke, all your savings spent on your medical school. You didn’t want to stop your studies—you were already on your third year and ever since you graduated college your goal was straight; finish med school, pass the licensure exams and become a doctor. You couldn’t even last a week on your countless part-time jobs because of your coming in late due to knee-deep work you have to face every single day in school.

Your financial status was making it hard for you to finish your goal. Very hard.

You reached your floor, and, as expected, all your things were outside your door in boxes. Your heart sank as you stared at the mess, your clothes and books thrown aggressively into the containers as if they meant nothing but pieces of trash.

You rushed inside and your landlord was standing by your small kitchen, barking orders at his two men, without even noticing that you entered.

“Please, sir,” you cried as you neared him. “Please give me one more chance. I’ll pay by the end of the month, I promise!”

He scowled at you. “I’ve given you too many chances, (Y/N). You’re too much.”

He turned his back at you and proceeded to march into your bedroom, calling out one of his men to follow him inside.

“No!” You yelled angrily this time. You couldn’t believe him. You may haven’t paid your debt owed to this man but that didn’t give him the right to intrude into your privacy.

You ran past them and stood in front of them before they could get any closer to the door, your cheeks flushed and eyes filled with angry tears.

“You can’t just walk into someone’s bedroom and take everything away!” You cried. “I can pack up myself! I don’t need your filthy hands on my belongings!”

Your landlord looked furious. “Then throw your damn things out of my apartment in the next hour or I’ll fucking rip this room apart by myself!”

You flinched at the loudness and anger of his voice before he turned around and left without another word, his men following close behind. Once you heard the main door slam shut you bawled your eyes out, sinking to the floor as you struggled to think of places where you could find refuge without having to pay. All you had in your wallet was a 20-dollar bill, and you didn’t have any extra cash in your bank account. You considered searching for very cheap rooms in the vicinity without having to ride because riding meant paying. But you couldn’t walk on the streets while struggling to hold boxes of your things. They were even too many for only two small hands.

You sobbed. At this point you felt so hopeless already. You almost convinced yourself that you were going to throw your unnecessary things away and sleep on the streets, while asking for spare change. You’d have to give up your med school since you couldn’t shoulder all the expenses anymore and just look for a job where it pays just enough for food and shelter. You didn’t have a family anymore to back you up. Your addictive mother left you for a stranger, and your father’s been gone even before you were born. You didn’t have any siblings, nor uncles or aunts or extended family members where you could go to for help. You had no one. It was only you.

You wiped away your tears, swallowing your pride as you took out your old, worn-out phone from your pocket and dialed your best friend’s number.

Natasha.

She’s been your best friend since high school, and you both shared the same passion in life. You both wanted to become a doctor. You both have so much in common, and you both agree to almost everything. You’ve been there for each other through the ups and downs, and Natasha has helped you through your own struggles financially. But asking for this big favor from her was just too much for you. You didn’t want to add a burden to your best friend—med school is already hard enough as it is.

But you were already desperate. You didn’t have any more options. This was the only one.

“Hello?”

You felt a sudden wave of relief hearing a voice so soothing in the midst of the chaos. “Nat, hi.”

“(Y/N), have you been crying? What happened??”

You hiccuped. “I-I’m fine, Nat. C-Could you come over? I k-kind of need your help.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

As promised, a knock came from your door and you stood up to open it, revealing a worried Natasha standing over your disarrayed valuables.

You couldn’t help yourself. Fresh tears welled up in your eyes as she pulled you in for a tight hug and you sobbed into her shoulder.

“We’ll pack up your things and go to my house. You’re staying there for as long as you like. My home is always open for you, (Y/N). And you know that.”

...

“So? How did it go with Katherine?” Bucky spoke up as he stabbed his medium-rare meat with his fork, clearly playing with his food rather than eating it. It was lunch break and Bucky and Steve were in their usual go-to for lunch, Redbird.

“Despite the fact that we called it a night early? It was okay.” Steve replied with a scoff, bringing a spoonful of rice to his mouth and watched as Bucky gave his best friend a deadpanned look.

“And you were the one who ended things early, not her, right?”

Steve nodded. He was slowly getting tired of Bucky setting him up with several women, whom he doesn’t even take interest in. He always has the need to pair Steve with someone because “you always look so bleak and somber,” as Bucky would put it.

“Buck, I really appreciate you doing these stuff for me, being my wingman and all, but I really don’t feel like dating right now.”

“Oh, yeah?” He retorted. “Then why do you always look so depressed? You can’t fucking tell me your wealth and fame is making you distressed. That’s some absurd bullshit right there.”

“Language.” Steve glared at him. He always hated when people cussed. For him it was indecent and dirty.

Except, of course, cussing in bed. He can only tolerate profanity under the sheets. But not often, though. That would be too much to listen to.

“Seriously??”

“And yes, James. Wealth and fame does not automatically make you happy and unproblematic. Do you know how many rich and famous people died because they took their own life? Because they hide their problems. The only image the public sees is the happy and successful façade they show.”

Silence. Steve was almost convinced he had won over their little argument.

“That shit deep, man.” Bucky only chuckled to which his best friend exhaled an exasperated sigh. Steve couldn’t even bother to point out that Bucky said a bad language word again.

“But you’ve got friends. Your family loves and supports you, you make time for sports and leisure...what could possibly make you so sad??”

Steve breathed out. “I told you, I’m not depressed, I’m not sad. I just don’t feel like dating as of the moment.”

“Will you feel like dating again tomorrow?”

“Haha, very funny.”

Bucky only stared at his best friend as he took a sip of his drink, studying him with confusion and amusement. Very formal man, always has a steely look on his face, very dominant demeanor, couldn’t even stand hearing curse words! What could his best friend possibly like in a woman?? Were his calculations wrong? Did he expect differently? Was he looking at it in a wrong angle?

Is Steve gay??

“Barnes, quit staring at me like that. You’re making me uncomfortable.” Steve brought him back to his senses.

And then it hit him.

“Hey, Steve, I think I need to go.” Bucky announced as he stood up and gathered his phone and wallet lying around on the table.

“Oh? Why the sudden hurry?” The blond-haired man asked as his eyes watched his best friend suddenly look distracted.

“It’s nothing. I just forgot to feed my pet dragon.” He then proceeded to pace towards the exit, leaving Steve confused and asked himself how he was acquainted with a weird and funny man like James Buchanan Barnes.

Little did Steve know that his best friend was up to a very stupid but brilliant idea. He knew he was going to get in trouble if Steve found out about it, but it was worth a shot. And his plan involved an online dating site and younger girls.

........................... ........................... ...........................

A/N: New series! Yay!!! Tags are also open, just hit me up! Next part coming soon ❤️

[fishoutofcamelot]

Hi there! I hope you’re well. I just wanted to send a message to thank you for the elyan content 😍 he is my favourite knight but for some reason I never see much of him on tumblr! So it’s awesome to see him on your blog. I hope I didn’t bother you with this ask 🙈

I AM doing well, actually! And you didn’t bother me, asks will probably never bother me <3

I could go on for a million years about why no one makes content about Elyan - and sometimes forget he exists altogether - but I don’t wanna start drama so we’ll just. Not touch that topic with a 10-foot pole

BUT! Elyan IS a fantastic knight, and the fact that he is your favourite knight too is very iconic and sexy of you. Elyan fans/stans are the sexiest members of this fandom. That’s not even opinion, that’s just science

So! Here’s a list of Elyan headcanons, because he’s worth it:

Elyan is ace. Them’s the facts

He’s also gay but in that stage where he’s questioning if he might be bi. Unfortunately, he died before reaching an answer

I hate to talk about Hogwarts Houses in 2020, but he is one hell of a Hufflepuff. Elyan is his name and protecting his loved ones with life and limb is his game. It is very easy to earn his loyalty, and once you have he will ride straight through Hell for you

Elyan likes hoods. He wears hoods whenever he can (i mean c’mon, that outfit in season 3 was serving some killer looks)

He’s just a protective older brother to literally everyone in Camelot. Yes, even Gaius

Gwen, Elyan, Leon, and Merlin have family game night once every month. They all gather in their old house in the lower town to get drunk, play some dice games, and spend the whole night goofing off

Only a few people know about game night. Even fewer people have seen it with their own eyes. Arthur and Gwaine frequently try to sneak in to see game night for themselves, but somehow never succeed

Elyan loves swimming. They don’t get many chances for it, but whenever they do, Elyan is the best swimmer out of all the knights

He’s also like. Really good at sneaking up on people. Consistently rolls high on stealth checks

Out of everyone in the Round Table, Elyan is the most easily spooked. He hates it when they gather around the fire to tell ghost stories, bc he will NOT be able to sleep the rest of the night after that

Why do people think there’s no dynamic or chemistry between Elyan and Gwaine??? Those two had a SOLID friendship and I will not stand for this disrespect (also, Perelyan is good but Elyaine is godtier imo)

Elyan is bad at blacksmithing. Like really bad. No one even understands how that works, considering he spent his whole childhood training under his father. All the blacksmithing talent apparently went to Gwen somehow

He likes bugs. When he was a kid he would go out in the woods and collect beetles and stuff to stick in little terrarium jars. He’d even give them names and backstories and personalities. Sometimes he would sit under a tree and tell Gwen stories about all these adventures his bugs would go on when no one was looking

Leon HATED bugs, and got creeped out by them, which meant Elyan was legally obligated to harass him about it

Elyan doesn’t get much chance to catch bugs anymore, but he’s also the only member of the Round Table who can put up with spiders

Spider in the armory? Everyone is freaking out while Elyan just calmly picks it up and lets it outside - but not without lots of snark and eye-rolling, of course

The reason Elyan ran away from home was because his mother had died and he saw it as a personal failing. He felt that it was his fault she was dead, because he couldn’t protect her, and left Camelot because he couldn’t bear the shame of guilt

In the last few years of his time away from Camelot, Elyan fell in love and lived out an mlm cottagecore fantasy where he and his lover raised wyverns together. But when Morgause came to capture him, she killed his lover and burnt their wyvern farm to the ground

Elyan tries not to let his grief be known, though. Not just because he doesn’t want to burden Gwen with his pain, but also because his lover had magic and he could get arrested for having fallen in love with a sorcerer

Morgause had Elyan captive for a while before Gwen showed up. She even used the nathair on him in small increments; not long enough to kill him or damage him irreparably, but enough to make him suffer. It’s for this reason that Elyan was able to bounce back from being tortured by Morgana whereas Gwaine didn’t survive it, because Morgause had already microdosed him with that kind of pain two years ealier

Still traumatizing, though. Like. This boy is EXTREMELY traumatized, can someone please get him some therapy???

Moving back to Camelot with Gwen was simultaneously healing and harming. Healing, because  he visited his dad’s grave, rebuilt his relationship with Gwen, and his companionship with her, Merlin, and Leon helped him move on from the pain of his loss. But harming because of all the anti-magic prejudice that surrounded him, and every time someone said magic was evil it was like another dagger in his heart. That was his dead lover they were talking about and calling a monster. Someone who was kind and compassionate and funny, who didn’t have a lick of evil in them, who would have burned at the stake by Camelot’s laws

Elyan didn’t think about what it meant to be a knight of Camelot when he agreed to be knighted. But he was just so determined to fight and kill Morgause, the woman who had killed his lover and his wyverns and abducted him from his home, that he didn’t even think about it. He just wanted Morgause dead. It wasn’t until a few days later when he realized that being a knight of Camelot meant enforcing Camelot’s anti-magic laws, and this realization naturally caused him distress

Instead of abandoning his knighthood, Elyan found a compromise. He would support Arthur in everything, until magic got involved. If Arthur ever captured druids or put sorcerers to death, Elyan decided he would smuggle them out of the city. He would never actively kill or capture those with magic, and would sometimes even try to sabotage efforts in capturing harmless magic-users

Elyan knew full well what Dragoon was doing. He knew that Gwen and Arthur’s love was true and required no enchantment, meaning Dragoon had simply framed himself to get Gwen out of a jam. He appreciates Dragoon, and even though he supposedly killed Uther, Elyan can’t even fault him for that. Elyan wanted to kill Uther too

Merlin is the little brother Elyan always wanted, and Elyan is the older brother Merlin never had. They act so much like siblings it’s not even funny, and some people question if they were actually raised together 

He and Merlin like to team up and tease Gwen. They’ll walk behind her and chant stuff like “Gwen and Arthur sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G”. They’re like children, and it’s both very funny and very annoying

Gwen gets her revenge, of course. She always gets her revenge

They also team up to be like. Super protective of Gwen. The vetting process Arthur had to go through - between Elyan, Leon, AND Merlin - in order to date Gwen was ridiculous

Arthur: Merlin I’m literally your boss. Your friend. You've been my personal manservant for like six years now

Merlin: Yeah, which means I know exactly how much of a dick you are

After being possessed by the druid ghost, Elyan is a lot more in tune with the supernatural

Am I suggesting that Elyan can now see, talk to, and interact with ghosts, and even starts a little agency where he goes around helping them complete their unfinished business? Why yes, yes I am

When Gwen was banished, Elyan wanted to go with her. But she asked him to stay behind and keep an eye on Agravaine, as she suspected him of treachery, and to stop him from taking over Camelot should Agravaine make a move. And, well, Elyan has never been able to say no to his sister

Elyan and Merlin decided to try and find a way to prove Gwen’s innocence. There’s no way she was acting of her own accord, after all. There was some kind of enchantment at play, there had to be. Merlin doesn’t tell him about Shade!Lancelot directly, but does propose it as a theory regarding how Lancelot had come back from the dead. Elyan supports the theory 100%

About two months after the wedding, Merlin and Elyan locate the enchanted bracelet, and Gwen and Lancelot’s names are finally cleared

In Avalon, Elyan, Freya, and Lancelot spend the whole time watching/narrating the events of season 5 like sports commentators. They are all mutually exasperated at Merlin’s antics

When Arthur shows up in Avalon, the only reason Elyan doesn’t punch him in the face is because he’s too busy restraining Lance from doing the same

He does, however, give him a strong talking-to about how “all your magic and you still can’t save my life” is a horrible thing to say actually

Lancelot, however, is more upset about the “I guess I was wrong” speech

Gwaine shows up in Avalon like. SUPER traumatized. He died while being tortured by a nathair, died in a way that he perceived to be failure, and he’s kinda messed up because of that. Elyan, who has already had a few years to cope with nathair torture, is the one who helps Gwaine heal from his trauma

In the 21st century, Elyan gets reincarnated along with everyone else. His childhood is plagued with weird dreams, dreams that terrify him. Snakes and pain, wyverns and fire, all of it. He meets an old man who calls himself Merlin, who helps Elyan through the pain of remembering his past life. For once, Elyan gets to be taken care of instead of the other way around. For once, he is allowed to be vulnerable and weak and struggling. He doesn’t hide his tears. He gets the help he needs and works through his trauma

And one day, many years later, he is walking down the street when he sees someone who looks oddly familiar. The face of an old lover, perhaps

Thanks for the ask! <3

[indecisivedolly]

Silent Words - Chapter 1

Warnings: mentions of death and deceased people.

Word count: 1185 words

And oh how she hates autumns now. She used to have it all in autumns, now she has nothing. As if the leaves sacrificed themselves for their beloved tree and took her beloved ones with them.

Autumn, the season of sacrifice.

It had been a simple funeral on a typical Parisian autumn morning. Only a few people who were close to her father attended. A few of his companions, some business partners, his lawyer -with his guards- and herself, his only family alive. After the funeral ceremony, Y/N stayed a little longer. Since her father had been buried next to her mother and sister, she used this opportunity to visit them as well. She numbly stared at the gravestones lined up. She hasn’t been in Paris for over five years now and she has never been located longer than a few months in the same place. Always wandering around the world, sometimes meeting up with her father. The last time she saw him was a month ago in Madrid. She was glad that the last moments she spent with him were pleasant ones, as if she’s been granted a good closure with her father by one of the gods.

“Roux (1975-2024), Roux (1997-2003), Roux-Reyes (1973-2003)”

She was the last one surviving, or the last one to join. 

“My sincere condolences, miss Roux.” She turned around to find Jacques Fontaine, her father’s lawyer and right hand. Next to them stood two of his guards on her side and another two on his. She looked at him and nodded at him, to turn around and look back at the perfectly lined up tombstones. “You lost him too, so my condolences to you too.” She said in a weak voice, a voice she barely used since the passing of her father. “Even though it may not feel like it, all will be well. The emptiness he left behind will never really leave, you just learn to live with it. Trust me, I’d know. He’s not the first brother-like figure I lost.” He sighed and smiled humorlessly. “Thank you for your kind words, uncle Jacques.” She heard her voice say. 

Silence.

Then;

“He wanted me to give you this after he passed, he’s had it ready for you for quite some time now. For a little over twenty five years.” He slid an envelope out of his suit jacket and handed it out to her, waiting for her to accept it. Hesitantly, she took the envelope and slid it in her jacket pocket; she knew better than to open it there. “If you need anything, you know how to find me.” As soon as he spoke out the words, Jacques Fontaine and his escorts left. 

She looked at her sister’s grave. Her sweet, beloved sister. Without even noticing it, her hand absently went up to her necklaces. Identical necklaces, two blue butterflies dangling from her neck; one for herself and one for Sarah. Years after her death, Y/N told her father that she had promised Sarah the same necklace he gave her. The next day, she found a little silver box with a white bow on top of her desk. She opened it to find the exact same necklace she promised her sister. Since the necklace actually belonged to Sarah, she wore Sarah’s necklace alongside hers to carry her sister with her. Y/N found herself touching the two butterflies often when she needed to ground herself. She felt like her sister would have had a life without their mother’s excessive discipline and tough love -which was more toughness than love anyways- if she had been more tough for the sake of their mother. Maybe her mother would’ve let Sarah be if she toughened up. Her mom always wanted her to be tough enough to take over her legacy, but she never found it in herself to obey her. If she had the choice, she would’ve sacrificed herself for her Sarah without question. And she’d do it again and again.

She took a quick glance at her mother’s grave and then her father’s, whose gravestone was now in the presence of a beautiful blue butterfly. She smiled softly and went to leave. “Do you want a ride home, dear?” She turned to her right to find Yvan Denis, one of her father’s business partners. ”No thank you, mister Denis.” It was a cloudy day, but it wasn’t too cold or rainy, so she could just go home by foot. Before he could say anything else, Y/N left. Yvan Denis never really sat well with her, and she was taught to always trust her gut, so she stayed civil but cut any form of communication with him short. She took off and absently walked home. Before she realized it, Y/N found herself in front of her apartment. She walked in and quickly took her jacket and heels off. She never really liked wearing heels, but in formal gatherings like that she had to. She took the envelope out of her jacket and sat down on her couch, bracing herself for whatever was in that envelope. A letter.

À ma papillon.

If you receive this, I have passed on. In my will I have written down a few silent wishes with the usual inheritance distribution. It was never my intention to involve you in this cursed life I lived, but it was never inevitable. If you could fulfill these very last wishes for me, I would be able to truly rest. I don’t want you to feel forced into doing this so please, think about it very well. If you choose not to, you’ll still be my beloved daughter. If you do wish to grant my wishes; here are some instructions. Read the will and first silent wish and don’t read the next silent wish until the prior one is fulfilled. This way, you can focus on one silent wish at a time. I don’t doubt you could do it alone. However, a little help goes a long way. Whatever you end up doing in life, you’ll always be ma petite papillon.

Je t’aimerai toujours,

Dad

Her father used to call them silent words which -as she just realized many years later- were code words. He taught them to Y/N and only Y/N, this is because she spent time with her father the most. He couldn’t teach them to Sarah because she was always with their mother, and Dad’s grown to distrust her. Knowing her, she would get it out of Sarah one way or another; he couldn’t place that burden on his sweet daughter. 

She gulped, tears burning in her eyes, desperately trying to escape. She inhaled sharply through her nose as she rubbed the tears away and swallowed away the lump in her throat. She was not in the mood to get emotional. It would only be a distraction, one with absolutely no added value whatsoever.

If this is what he wanted, then she would do it for him. She would patiently wait for his silent wishes and do whatever it took so that her father could rest in peace. 

Taglist (if you wanna be included, send me a message!):

@saiyanprincessswanie​ @disasterbii​ @zaynzierulez

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros: The Return of an Old Enemy"

Chapter 11: A Joust Worth Remembering!

It was late afternoon, around 4 o'clock in the afternoon to our clock. Crowds gather to the center ring, ready for the evening's big event, Dionysus's joust. On opposite sides, Dionysus and Ares stood like two forces of nature. Ares prepared his chariot, now being pulled by Delphi's most capable mules, glared at Dionysus from across the ring. Dionysus, stared back not as a proud and fierce as the bulls he's compared to, but more of a scared fawn looking straight at the wolf eyeing it.

He glances at Hermes, Apollo and Ariadne whom were sitting within the crowd, feeling a little courage, he rides his chariot slowly towards to the ring, Ares following soon after, he clears his throat, "LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN AND BEYOND! I give you the joust of the millenia! Me, your humble ruler versus Ares!", he reached his arm out to show the crowd a begrudged Ares. "May the best god win!", he finished his speech, he felt a cold sweat run down his tempal. "Okie dokie, just relax-", he looked again to Hermes and Apollo, he could see them both had a glint in their eyes, "-you guys better have done a good job, I can't bare losing her.", he quietly whispered to himself.

Ares however, was revved up like an angry boar, ready to once again gouge his prey. He clenched his teeth as if he was going to go for the jugular. "I'm going to wreck your shit Dio.", he growled through his teeth. He and Dionysus both stopped a little parallel to each other, setting their positions for the joust. The two chariots were ready, the lances pointing to each other....and the chariots darted to each other as if time itself slowed to a crawl. Things were looking like they were going according to plan, but fate is a force even the gods can't predict. It was going to come on four legs, orange fur and long whiskers.

Back at the food tent, the little lycan pup was still rummaging through the cloths and pillows, now all shredded open creating a storm of down feathers. He played and leaped, knawed and ravaged the pillows as if they were rabbits. Until, he heard a mew, just outside the tent. All his attention went from enjoying himself, to finding the thing that made the noise. Sniffing the air, his nose lead to the corner of ravaged tent, again a mew was heard. He poked his head from under the tent, seeing a stray cat. The pup had no idea what a cat was, but he hated it like any self respecting canidae. He gave the most hardy growl his little body could muster and barked. The cat arched, hairs on end and it hissed. The pup matched ferocity with the cat, barking again he gave chase, determined to hunt it. The car let out a yowl and ran off, the cat and pup both have way to a cat and mouse chase throughout the feild. Several Delphians saw this oddly shaped wolf pup chasing the cat, some knowing very well this was no dog, it was definitely something of a beast. The pup chased the cat....into the jousting field.

Within the meaningless seconds, Ares felt victory was a red dye tipped lance away, "oh I can't wait to see the look on that fatass's face when I get take Delphi for myself!", he thought to himself. He could feel the warm wave of confidence run down his back and the cool breeze of the chariot's speed. His face with a manic grin, contrary to Dionysus's look of fear and worry. All Dionysus could do was hope that he wouldn't lose everything he cared for.

Ares it seemed had the joust set, until he saw a flash of orange followed by a little blurr of greyish brown. "Wait wh-", suddenly just time began to start walking instead of crawling, he heard the haunting sound of something breaking. He looked to his right and saw the wheel broke right off it's wheelhub, while at the same time, the sight of the two beasts of burdens frightened the chariot mules. The mules reared back, braying in fear of the fast moving things. The same had happened to Dionysus's mules, but he quickly reacted to the situation. He tugged at the riens as hard as he could, and tugged to his right and the whole chariot took a remarkable slide. Just narrowly avoiding hitting Ares's chariot.

It's an incredible chaos! As Ares's chariot continues to crash down to the dirt, the mules struggling with the yoke and shaft, Dionysus's mules grind to a halt and both gods seem to have lost control. The two gods, now more concerned about not dieing from an unfortunate chariot accident, where orbiting the field in a cloud of dust.

The whole joust had become the world's most heavenly mess. Hermes looked at Apollo, mildly glaring at him, all Apollo could do is gawk like everyone in the crowd. He looked at Hermes to see if he was enjoying the sight as much as he was but it was clear Hermes was more mildly upset. "What did YOU do?", Hermes asked. Even he wanted to know what did Apollo do to help sabotage Ares, because even Hermes himself wouldn't have thought of something as simple as messing with the chariot.

Apollo blushed a little with childish shame, "oh nothing much.....I just loosened a thing...or two.", he explained that he loosened the wheelhub to make sure it was guaranteed the wheel would fly off.", Hermes was dumbfounded yet actually impressed at the simplicity of it all.

Next to Apollo, Ariadne was worried about Dionysus, hoping he didn't hurt himself too much. "Oh no my dearest Dionysus! Please let him be alright.", she worried out loud. Apollo gave her a friendly pay on her shoulder.

"There there, he's been through worse.", Apollo assured her. He noticed a few people shouting and asking about the joust's results. Did Ares win? Or Did Dionysus win? As the dust cleared, both chariots, both pair of mules and both gods, in a pile of a kerfuffle. Ares rubbed his hurting head, all he could remember was something whizzing through the jousting feild and BOOM, now he was laying on the side of his own chariot...belly down. His thoughts started to collect and he than quickly remembered the wheel, now fuming with anger.

Dionysus, still reeling from his epic drift, was seeing stars for a few seconds. His thoughts ran as fast as the stars did and he felt a pit in his stomach and sinking in his heart. He shook his head, as he noticed a bright, green mark on Ares's left thigh. His gaping mouth quickly transformed into a smile, he had won by luck itself. Before Ares could turn around to strangle Dionysus, a satyr shouts "LORD DIONYSUS IS THE WINNER!". The crowd roared with cheer and merriment for their patron god had won as expected. Ariadne leaps up and cheered, she hastily went to Dionysus to hug the big fool. "You could have gotten yourself hurt!", Ariadne gave him a slap on the face, but just as quickly she was furious, she hugged him again. Relieved that he's alright. Dionysus picked her up, embracing her, he was relieved that she wasn't going to be trinketed away to his war mongering brother.

Ares was confused, he looked all over his body and found that bright green paint on his thigh, it stuck out like a sore thumb, evidence of his defeat. He looked at the cheering crowd and saw Apollo and Hermes both giggling, it was clear what had happened. Those two had sabotaged him, all this because his "whiny brother was a sore loser and couldn't stand loosing in front of his adoring followers" his thoughts roared. He stood there, stewing in his own anger. He growl, snarled, and baired his teeth but he took a deep breath, knowing well that if all of this calamity happened, it was obvious it wasn't written in the stars. He huffed and snorted like a bull, he wasn't going to dignify Dionysus with a congratulations. He stormed off, to find his horses and someone to fix his chariot.

About an hour later, after Dionysus's decree of curfew had to be upheld as promised, Ares was still at the stables, waiting for his chariot to be fixed by a supposed reputable repair nymph. He sat down on a stool, brooding his loss of the perfect training ground for an army he would have to wait another century. "Bastard drunk asshole, I swear if that golden twink and thieving gnat Hermes didn't fuck up my chances...hmf. I would have won.....I want a rema-" suddenly, he heard the sniffling and whinnying of a dog. He turned his head to the sound, and slowly followed it to a pile of empty barrels. He looked inside some of the barrels, he moved some aside, he couldn't seem to find the sound. Than, he finally found the source, it was the little pup.

It had seemed that shortly after he and the cat zoomed across the field, their chase ensued. He and the cat had a tussle, they 'battled' it out but towards the end, the pup lost to the cat's claws. A scratch across his little snout, few on his body and arms, tears running down his face, poor thing had its first taste of defeat with a little side of pain. Ares watched on, just wondering who would put this poor misshapen dog in tattered clothes. "To make my day even worse, these drunken fools decided to defile an innocent dog. Well... No use having two souls suffer...", he leaned down and saw the pitiful little, "hey buddy.", he spoke softly.

The lycan pup looked up, perked his ears in shock and let out a little snarl. To the pup, Ares was a towering opponent, he was going to do everything to defend himself. Ares however, was actually curious about the pup, it was definitely a funny looking dog with oddly long arms, legs and paws. He gently picks the pup by the scruff of his tattered chiton, as he does so, the pup grabs on to his forearm and knaws on the bareskin. The pup tried to dig in deep but even his little sharp teeth couldn't break Ares's skin.

Ares gave a hardy chuckle, "You have a lot fire in you, ugh buddy? I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what kinda dog you are....Fuck it, you'll make a fine addition to my pack little one...I think I'll name you.....Ajax.", he scratched the pup behind his ear with his free hand. The pup suddenly relaxed as he felt the pleasant starching of a persistent itch had gone, his tail wagged with glee and even relaxed his grip on Ares's forearm, letting Ares carry him like a small child. Delighted, Ares carried him to his chariot to bring back to Olypmus.

Back at Dionysus's veranda, the boys were enjoying a late afternoon cup of wup. Apollo was playing his lyre while Hermes, Ariadne and Dionysus relaxed after helping the citizens put away the maritals from the games. Dionysus with Ariadne in one arm and a kylix in the other hand, "man, that was great...did you see that sweet drift, I knew Ares was going to do something weird so I ha-?", he drunkenly went on.

"Dionysus love, you know very well you didn't plan anything.", Ariadne included. She was playing with his curly, thick locks. Dionysus blushed a little on top of his rosey glow of wine, laid the side of his head on to her, "yes darling.", he responded, "shame Ares couldn't stay for our little celebration.", he said with an air of irony. Apollo looked at Dionysus and shook his head, he knew he was just mostly relieved about Ares losing.

Hermes was swirling around his kylix, he started to ponder about the event and how did it go so wrong. He knew he and Apollo had sufficiently sabotaged Ares and his chariot yet the beginning of the joust just felt odd, he felt something was going and that a perfectly simple day wasn't going to end on a high note somehow. "Say....did anyone actually see what that THING that ran in between you guys were?", he asked taking a sip of the wine.

The rest of them all started to ponder as well, Dionysus clicked his tounge, ".....maybe it was just a dog chasing a cat or something.....", he bluntly put it. "Wait....do we have dogs in Delphi?", he asked Ariadne.

"Of course we have dogs in Delphi, Dionysus. Many of our farmers have herding dogs to protect the livestock.", she responded.

Apollo chimed in, "hmm.....yes it could....but didn't the dog look off too? It looked a little lanky....and...also....did anyone knoticed the dog.....wearing a tunic?". He hopeed someone around knew what he had seen.

This comment sent shivers down Hermes's spine, he suddenly remembered his encounter with the wolf creature. "Ugh.....you guys don't think it was-", he was interrupted by the sound of Kale.

Kale strutted towards the gods, "My Lord Dionysus, the citizens would like to express their gratitude and appreciation for your entertaining performance this evening....buuuut there was a small complaint.", he eloquently noted.

Dionysus was a little surprised about this news, "what complaint?", he asked. To his knowledge the whole thing was a success regardless of the terrible bet that had taken place behind closed curtains.

Kale, with little to no hesitation, "Well the main food tent was absolutely FuCkInG destroyed, someone ate all the roasted goat, most of the breads and ugh absolutely RUINED the furnishings I worked so hard placing. I am just floored, my Lord.", he let out a depressed sigh.

Dionysus was confused, did someone break in the food tent or was this just evidence of an animal attack? He cleared his throat, "ugh, I am so sorry about that, Kale, I saw it earlier in the morning it looked really nice. Did anyone see anything?", he asked, he just hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.

Kale composes himself a little with a deep light breath, "well it looked like animal was in there...but it could have been some kid in a wolf costume or something just making mischief.", he deducted. However, Delphians weren't known for pulling such pranks, even for misbehaving youths, this would be considered to be in poor taste considering the farming population.

Ariadne slowly looked to Dionysus, suspecting he knew about something. "An animal you say?", she asked. The hair on the back of Dionysus's neck stand on end, his MAN senses were tingling, and his wife was in on it. He chuckled nervously, "maaaaybe it was just a stray dog?", his reassuring comment wasn't going to be enough.

However, Kale wasn't helping. "Well....a few people did see what came out of the tent, they saw it chase a cat all over the event field. It looked a tiny baby wolf in a chiton? I mean what kind of depraved jerk would put clothes on a wolf?". This was the final nail in the coffin, at least for Dionysus's chances of sleeping in the same villa as Ariadne.

She let out a huff, crossed her arms and crossed her legs. "What is going on Dionysus,I thought I told you not to go on with this whole thing if you KNEW if there were those beasts out there.", she was stern and her eyes could be comparable to Hera's stare of marital disappointment.

Dionysus, tried to avoid the conversation and sipped his kylix. He looked off to the side like a child who did something wrong. Hermes entered into the conversation, "Ugh to be fair, it was a BABY...and..ugh...there was just one...so...ugh...I guess it didn't do anything.", Inspite of this argument, he knew this meant that there was definitely more if these wolf creatures. "Ugh...you didn't see where it went...did you?", he asked Kale.

Scratching his meticulously groomed goatee, Kale nodded 'yes', 'I believe some of the attendees saw it run off into the field or "something" of that direction.", he replied.

Dionysus leaped up, "than it's gone! Good, let's all just hit the hay and get some sleep!", he spoke in a happy voice of a man who knew he was in deep trouble. He felt Ariadne gently pull his ear, his body flowed to the direction of Ariadne.

She gave that small smile that deceptively masked her frustration, "Dio... sweetie......you're sleeping with the leopards....not for a wekk....but for a month.", she gently whispered in his ear, patted him on his face. Regardless if she was angry with Dionysus, it seemed by the end of the day no one actually got hurt. She turn around to walk back home, "Goodnight, gentlemen.", she left right back.

The four gentlemen were all standing by themselves watching Ariadne leave, Apollo sighed and turned to Dionysus. "So....where do the leopards sleep?", he asked Dionysus.

Dionysus stared at Ariadne with loving relief. "Well, they sleep....that way.", he pointed towards the dimly lit forested yard were many of his leopards roamed freely. He scratched his chin, satisfied with the whole situation, it could have been worse yet it could have been better. Now his only priority, is to find a soft place to sleep. Before he did so, he turned to Kale and his brothers. "Kale, tell NO ONE of this weird dog shit, deny EVERYTHING and ugh....tell anyone who asked it was leopard. Hermes, Apollo, tommorow....we go and talk to dad about this. Now...I'm going to get serious.", as he said this, tripped on a raised rug and fell over on a pile of lounge pillow. "I'm ok... actually this is pretty comfy....", he muffled.

Apollo and Hermes looked down at Dionysus, wondering if they should help, but there's a likely chance he probably has already dosed off.