#I hate that I’m a cartman enjoyer

[angelswim64]

heterochromic and homophobic (and homosexual)

[itskindamagical]

So seriously true bc suddenly the death threats get thrown out and ppl get doxxed, hunted down, and burned at the stake

never ask a woman her age a man his salary a south park fan their opinion on kyman

[mineshaftss]

I love Cartman as a character but hate him as a person. I know a lot of people in the fandom find him annoying but I honestly find him hilarious.

He's a part of the show’s humor so I don't completely get people who like South Park but genuinely dislike Cartman. Makes me question if they actually enjoy the show or if they only watch it for their favorite ships/characters which is never Cartman because he's toxic even though that's literally the point of his character.

Cartman is supposed to be irredeemable and evil, it's okay if you don't you don't find him funny but don't be rude to people who do. Since all of the absurd shit he does is supposed to be funny and it isn't morally wrong on your part to enjoy morally bad characters as long as you don't like them BECAUSE of their wrong doings. I can't speak for every Cartman fan but I like to think most of us don't like him because he's a bigot, at least I don't. The way his hatred for (pretty much) everyone is betrayed is really funny to me and I'm surprised more newer South Park fans don't see it this way.

I’m all for fandom culture but I feel like a lot of South Park fans either ignore or have forgotten what the show is actually about. It's okay to care about the characters but remember that at its core, this show is a comedy satire. It's not supposed to do much else then get a laugh out of you using shock humor (especially with Cartman). This kind of humor falls flat with a lot of new South Park fans. I feel like people are mostly okay with the show but get nervous when it comes to Cartman because of how bsd he is. Which is fair but like I said, liking a bad character does not inherently mean you agree with any of choices or decisions at all. It JUST means you like them for whatever reason.

Maybe people assume Cartman enjoyers only like him because they're bad people because they ONLY see Cartman as nothing but evil. He's a funny character as well though and while this an opinion, it's an opinion a lot of older fans share. I feeel like there is always a war going on between the new and old fans of any fandom, but I promise not all old SP fans are assholes (same as not all the new SP fans are like this).

I know Cartman is the worst but people act like the rest of town are saints. They are all supposed to be flawed characters and that's supposed to be funny! I feel like a broken record at this point but I really don't understand how people like South Park but not its overboard humor, which is what it's known for???

[clydesdonovan]

12, 19, 29 and 32?!

oop thank u!!! <3

12.Character that you can only imagine in one ship

I thiiink I answered this one already ? But it’s Craig lol. I just can’t picture him in a ship that isn’t cryde

19.Ship that you never expected to ship

Uhh I think I answered this too 🤔 and I believe I said stanman? So let’s go with a different answer lol

Maybe clenny?? I always liked them as friends, but me enjoying them as a ship kinda snuck up on me and took me by surprise! I just think they’re neat.

29.Favourite crossover ship

I… don’t have any 🫣 I hate crossovers I’m so sorry lolll I’ve never been a fan of them!

I know (I think?) I’ve said this before but I’m a very… peculiar content enjoyer lol. I like when things are kept simple and canon (divergent). Some aus I fuck with, but crossovers are just not my style at all :/

32.Favourite ship for hurt-comfort

oooh this one has a few different answers for different reasons tbh…

It’s a cop out, but cryde is definitely one. I love cryde angst. Clyde is my blorbo so he’s the one I mess up the most, but it works out because I loveeeee actually soft, caring, sweet and comforting Craig. It’s good shit.

Also!! Style. I love Stan angst. I love Stan hurt-comfort in general. Sometimes Kyle is dealt a shitty hand with this, and that sucks and he deserves better, but man. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love some good, dramatic, angsty style every now and then.

Likewise!! Stanman is a current favorite. I have so many unpublished drafts about them being dramatic and angsty too LOL. I just love Stan angst!!! Add in some Cartman hurt-comfort and it’s like. Ugh. It’s good.

[dusksmote]

can i ask your why you made kyle fat in your stories? no hate, just genuinely curious, i love how you don't stereotype fat people like most authors do ^-^

it really started with two things. i had a conversation with my friend about the Make Love Not Warcraft episode back in april of 2020, and we joked about the prospect of the boys retaining their weight from that episode instead of losing it. like, in the next episode they're just magically thin again? that's not how the real world works! it got me thinking about how they would deal with the weight and what that would look like going forward in the show, which planted the seed for the idea that would become ETL.

the second thing was i was listening to doja cat religiously at the time. the title “Eat That Lunch” comes from a lyric in her song “Juicy”, which also appears and is referenced multiple times in the fanfic. kyle canonically has a “great ass” according to bebe, and i found it really funny that the song has a line “can’t trust a big butt and a gemini” because kyle also happens to be a gemini. i kept thinking about the idea and eventually it developed into a story. 

i never actually anticipated on ETL going on for as long as it has, i was actually working on a prequel to another fanfic i haven’t published yet (ecstasy), and decided to take a quick break to write what was supposed to be a PWP oneshot where kyle is fat. i thought it would only take one day to write, yet here i am more than a year later still working on the sequel.  (interestingly, it is the fact that i started listening to weezer right after i start writing that the story became so long and got a real plot)

ultimately, the more i worked on it, the more i became interested in exploring the concept. there’s an aspect of cruel irony that kyle makes fun of cartman for being fat for so long only to have the tables turned on him. cartman would 100% milk it for everything it has. there’s also kyle’s canon feelings of insecurity about his appearance that i wanted to play into, and it turned into a whole thing. and not to mention the reaction people would have to kyle dating stan, who is tall and athletic. there’s so much negativity around being fat in our society, especially regarding dating, and i wanted to make some commentary about it.

i also found it interesting that the fandom hasn’t really explored this when there’s plenty of reasons for kyle becoming overweight. he has diabetes, his mom is overweight, sometimes people just gain weight and can’t lose it. i anticipated some backlash for it, and honestly thought no one would care about the story, but i’d only published one fanfic before so i figured eh whatever, i don’t have an audience to alienate XD i’m so happy that so many people have gotten enjoyment from it, it honestly astounds me!

[amporella]

Episodes for your ask game!

1. Cartmanland

2. You're Getting Old

3. Pee

tysm for the ask!! <3 putting these under a cut since there’s three:

Cartmanland:

★ Do I like this episode? Why or why not? 

I do! It’s not an absolute favorite, but I think it’s pretty memorable; and it was one of the first ones I watched, so that solidfied its impact on me. Kyle’s health and happiness depending on whether Cartman gets his way or not is great, and it’s an early look at just how intense Kyle’s sense of justice is; to the point where he quite literally nearly dies because his principle of ‘you get what you deserve’ isn’t adhered to until the end of the episode. 

★ Favorite moment? 

Any and all of the moments with both Stan and Kyle. Stan holding Kyle as he guides him away from the Cartmanland fence is adorable, and I can’t blame him for his little snicker when Kyle has to sit on his ring lmao. I’m a sucker for any episode where Stan perpetually sticks by Kyle’s side, no matter what’s going on.

★ Least favorite moment?

I’m not really sure if I have one! I think Kyle’s “I NEED MY CREAAAAAM” is pretty objectively funny, but at the same time, it hurts me to see him uncomfortable or in pain :( - so maybe that scene?

★ Do I have an unpopular opinion about this episode? What is it?

I don’t think so! I don’t really know if there are any popular opinions on this episode? I haven’t seen it discussed a ton in fandom.

★ Something I would change?

Nothing really! I think it’s good for what it is.

★ Rating out of 5? 3!

★ Anything else I want to say about this episode?

Nothing immediately comes to mind! Other than Kyle deserves better than literally anything he’s ever gotten in this show. 

You’re Getting Old: 

★ Do I like this episode? Why or why not?

Ugh. This is a difficult question because I see where the episode is coming from thematically - but at the same time, I absolutely hate seeing the Stan/Kyle friendship suffer, and I just pity both Stan and Kyle so hard throughout this entire episode. The jokes don’t really land for me, the sh/t is definitely excessive, and I just struggle to find any serious enjoyment out of it. So no, probably not, at least from a standpoint of how much I actually like watching it.

★ Favorite moment?

Stan enjoying his birthday party at the beginning. I just want to see him happy lmao. Also I like Craig’s stupid party hat.

★ Least favorite moment?

When Stan walks away from Kyle after the scene in the movie theatre. I find a lot of scenes in this episode to be hard to watch, but that’s definitely the hardest.

★ Do I have an unpopular opinion about this episode? What is it?

I don’t really think so? I definitely like Ass Burgers better, but I don’t think that’s an uncommon sentiment. I think the fandom as a whole can definitely come together in feeling horrible for Stan in this episode.

★ Something I would change?

Stan and Kyle hug it out :( 

★ Rating out of 5? 1.5 because it makes me sad lmao.

★ Anything else I want to say about this episode?

I get the sentiment in this episode, but I also think releasing this and Ass Burgers (even with the immediate return to continuity after the latter) sent Stan and Kyle spiraling for the rest of the show. I really do miss the early episodes where Stan and Kyle were absolutely inseparable, and if there’s one thing I love about the Return of Covid special ending, it’s that they seem to have gone back to that.

Pee:

★ Do I like this episode? Why or why not?

I do. That being said (wow there’s a pattern among these episodes), I don’t love seeing my boys suffer! But I definitely like this episode more than the prior - not everything lands for me, but I really love Kyle’s characterization in this, even if I want to throttle Matt and Trey for making him suffer. Plus, I admittedly think Cartman’s stupid song in this is pretty funny lmao. And I love seeing the horror on his face when Kyle points out that he’s the minority.

★ Favorite moment?

Kyle and Stan’s little argument when the boys are calling for him to swim over to them. It really has everything I love. Kyle being excessively dramatic (”I’ll die if I do swim in it!”) and Stan awkwardly trying to appease Kyle’s sensibilities whlie still being honest (”Not... all the time.”). It’s just so funny. 

★ Least favorite moment?

I don’t like watching Kyle drink the pee. It just grosses me out, and I hate seeing him look that viscerally uncomfortable while doing something. Plus, I never really thought the whole peeing on the monkeys gag was funny.

★ Do I have an unpopular opinion about this episode? What is it?

Maybe not an unpopular opinion, but whether it’s from Cartman’s influence or not, I think it’s pretty clear to me that Butters just doesn’t like Kyle. And him being a d/ck to him when he climbs out of the pee solidifies that for me. Watch your back you little twerp.

★ Something I would change?

★ Rating out of 5? 3.5 - don’t love all aspects of this episode, but I find this characterization of Kyle good (and amusing) enough to warrant an extra half point.

★ Anything else I want to say about this episode?

I love Kyle having contamination OCD (and scrupulosity, though not as relevant to the episode), and I think this episode probably helped birth that hc into existence. 

[basketballandtextbooks]

Speaking of analyses, what's your interpretation of Kenny? (I feel like he's the one character that really doesn't get talked about in the same manner as other characters. Sure, he gets praised often for being a good boi and there's discussions/theories of his curse, his homelife, sex... But as far as him as a WHOLE, as a person, I don't tend to see that a lot. I think that's why his fanon interpretations feel like a disconnection: He's quiet, his hood being down doesn't mean he'll "talk more")

To even begin delving into all of the aspects of Kenny’s personality, we’ll first have to divide up subsections to how he behaves in certain circumstances, ascertain his motives for doing so, and then finally combine all of that information into a cohesive assessment of his thoughts, feelings, and agendas. And as a bonus, I’d like to discuss how these traits would most likely change and develop over time.  All that said, I just really like his character so instead of doing all that fancy essay work, I’m just going to babble about him. We’ll start with what is both the most and least important aspect to Kenny; his relationship with death.

Death has haunted Kenny for his entire life so far as we, the viewers, are able to tell. The current in-series explanation for his ceaseless bouts of death involves his parents in a cthulhu cult before he was even born. The details here are vague, but the implication that leaves us with is that this is a lifelong affliction. Flashbacks as early as preschool support this theory as we’ve seen Kenny die in a firecracker accident back then. Kenny’s feelings towards death are made clear in several lines and yet more nonverbal cues. He’s scared of death. It’s painful and he hates it. Even knowing he’ll come back, or at least assuming he’ll come back, that doesn’t stop him from screaming, running, crying out, hiding, and outright declaring how painful and unpleasant he finds death. This at least tells us one thing about Kenny’s personality going forward that will be important to understanding further aspects: He hates pain. He’s had plenty of pain, pain beyond what a normal person could ever imagine, and he hates it. One conjecture we can make from this knowledge is he’s extremely unlikely to self-harm in a violent or painful way, such as cutting or punching himself. He has shown a brief interest in pain for sexual pleasure though, as seen with his stint of asphyxiation for masturbation. The attempt killed him but we never get a follow up on whether or not he found it enjoyable, therefore it can be read as either “Kenny enjoys pain for pleasure, specifically asphyxiation” or “Kenny tried pain for pleasure once and as it resulted in his death, he doesn’t want to do it again” or “Kenny will try anything sexual at least once”. Among these readings, the third is most likely the most accurate while the first two can be entirely up to the opinion of the interpreter. They have equal canonicity behind them.

His hatred of death and pain has led him to become bitter and angry towards the people around him on many occasions. For example, when Kyle was dying Kenny was incapable of feeling sympathy for Stan’s sadness over it when Stan was so consistently apathetic towards his own death. It’s clear that Kenny doesn’t want Kyle to die and cares about the well-being of all of his friends (sacrificing his life for them on many occasions) but it was particularly painful to listen to Stan talk about how sad he was that a friend of his was dying in the hospital. If we pay attention to the timeline, this happens before Kenny dies in the hospital and Stan refuses to visit him, which would solidify every feeling of resentment he felt when Stan was worried over Kyle. During that time, Stan had had no trouble visiting Kyle in the hospital so from Kenny’s perspective, Stan just didn’t care. Still, he clearly cares for Stan and his other friends which is why we hear the repeated “Where’s Stan?” that breaks our hearts every damn time. It’s worth noting that Kenny has a teddy bear in the hospital that is never seen before or since, it’s very likely a bear from the hospital gift shop given to him by one of his visitors. So either Chef, his parents, or Kyle bought him the bear. A personal favorite headcanon of mine is that Kevin stole the bear for him but there is absolutely no evidence to support that hypothesis. Logically the culprit is either Chef or Kyle, considering the McCormick’s money troubles, and it would be very in character of Sheila to insist he buy something for his friend at the gift shop. Another thing to note is that Kyle is the only one of his friends, aside from Cartman, who visits him in his hospital room. Butters sends a card and there are visible gifts that build over time. We know for a fact during the episode where Kyle was dying that the teacher would have the students make cards for a sick classmate, so the card and gifts are most likely a byproduct of that. It is worth noting that while Kenny was dying such a slow and painful death, Kyle was the only one who was able to stay at his side. Stan found it too painful to watch him die and Eric was off on his mission to ‘save’ Kenny. I believe this impacted the way Kenny viewed his friends in the future, distancing himself from Eric and opening up to Stan less and less. His relationship with Kyle remains dubious and the other kids in his class he keeps an emotional distance between.

One cannot address the issues of this episode without also delving into the issues regarding the length of his death and revival. It’s implicit in the show that Kenny has no idea how long he will be dead for, a few hours or a few years, and there is very little consistency in how he is revived. Most frequently he revives via a literal rebirth (one notable instance of this causing his mother to have a miscarriage), but he’s also had instances of reviving back into his own corpse or literally appearing out of thin air. This leads us to the explanation that he doesn’t know how long he’ll be dead, where he’ll go, or how he’ll revive. This loss of control in his life causes him to put a significant distance between himself and anyone he might care about, for fear that his condition would ruin any chances of maintaining the relationship.

This is especially apparent in his complicated relationship with Cartman (which we will address in more detail later). During his extended period of death, Cartman was the driving force in finding a ‘Kenny replacement’ and Kenny’s self-proclaimed BFF. Both Stan and Kyle joined these attempts cheerfully, but Cartman was the most determined. He tried with both Tweek and Butters, succeeding in finding a best friend in Butters and making Butters an on-again-off-again addition to the ‘main four’ while also maintaining a close (and complicated) friendship to Cartman. Butters was compared to Kenny on several occasions during this transition and showed both agitation and resentment over the comparison. Eventually putting Kenny up on a pedestal as someone ‘great’ because of all the times the guys assured him that “Kenny would do it if he were here”.

It’s worth noting that the two individuals within canon who clearly and canonically remember Kenny’s deaths are Cartman and Timmy. While an explanation for Timmy’s knowledge is still left up in the air, there are a few potential explanations for Cartman’s retained memories. One explanation that I normally prescribe to is that Cartman has Kenny’s eyes and by taking a body-part of Kenny’s, he can now see Kenny’s deaths. This explanation isn’t perfect, as Cartman showed signs of understanding Kenny’s condition prior to that episode, but its one potential explanation. Understanding his condition could have been a basis for the initial development of their friendship or it could have been a secret shared when they were still close that Eric was naïve enough to believe. Although, Eric’s understanding of Kenny’s condition could very easily be an explanation for his own apathy towards other people's deaths (like how he murdered Scott’s parents). Ever since he could remember, his best friend had died and come back, at the age of 8 or 9, how could he possibly have a complete understanding that Kenny’s case wasn’t normal. He could have very well expected Scott’s parents to return the next day the same way Kenny did. While it’s also possible he committed those murders knowing full well that their deaths were permanent, it is still hard to believe that he’d even be capable of taking death seriously after seeing Kenny die so many times.

Continuing further, Kenny’s fear of death does not make him cowardly, quite the contrary. Some stand out sacrifices that he made while scared would be during the meteor shower trilogy (he owed nothing to those people and still gave his life to protect them) and during the hunt for Eric’s parentage, sacrificing his life to save the hospital. He was scared both times and they were ultimately selfless acts. What makes them stand out even more though is how dependent his friends were on him during both instances. They had full and complete faith and trust that Kenny would save the day. Even without cognitively remembering Kenny’s condition, they still trust him with their lives and know he’s the sort of person who would save them.

It’s very likely that this is a reason that Kenny grew into a more and more protective person as the seasons go by, in a way this faith that he’d save them is some of the purest positive feedback he gets from his asshole friends. Whether intentional or not, there was a part of Kenny and his friends who viewed him as a protector above all else. These sorts of implicit expectations can really affect a person’s development. It is most likely due to a combo of this aforementioned expectation and Kenny’s growing cynicism about his own deaths, that he accepts the role so whole-heartedly.

Kenny has a strong association with drugs from early seasons, where rumors of him sniffing paint were prevalent and an instance of him snorting alien coke occurred. His hedonistic personality and inability to die seemingly leading him to believe that he was invincible. And therefore he doesn’t need to worry about the negative effects of recreational drug use. This all changed after the events of major boobage. It should be evidence alone that by the end of major boobage, all rumors about Kenny and drugs ended and he was never again referenced to indulge in recreational substances, especially considering their earlier prevalence, but the series goes even further to show us that he not only got clean, stayed clean, but has developed a dislike for recreational and addictive substances.

Kenny would never do recreational drugs of any kind as a teen or adult and he is unlikely to drink alcohol either. It is very likely he dislikes weed, meth, and beer in particular. Kenny exhibited addictive behavior during Major Boobage and he was addicted to cheesing. However at the end of Major Boobage, Kenny stated firmly that he did not want to be addicted, would quit immediately, and he decided firmly to avoid drugs henceforth. His entire character arc for the episode was learning that he did not like the recreational use of drugs. It’s interesting that the fans interpret this episode as proof he would do drugs considering the entire plot of the episode was about his character growth in that specific regard. It’s like watching an episode where Stan learns to accept his gay dog and saying he will always be homophobic and never change because he started the episode not accepting his gay dog. It’s boggling.

However it is worth noting that Kenny relapsed at the very end of the episode by 'getting high on life'. While this could be evidence that he’d ‘never’ get clean (again disregarding all other evidence to the contrary) but it actually shows something that is quite telling for his ability to stay sober. His friends were quick to help him and pull him back from it. This alludes to him continuing to have support from friends and family during recovery. Recovery is a hard and difficult thing that is nearly impossible without a support network. This is a shockingly optimistic moment when understood through the lens of how difficult it is to fight for sobriety.

However the evidence that Kenny has chosen to stay clean doesn’t stop there. Aside from all rumors about him sniffing paint and other implications dying down all together, we have an extremely telling scene with his parents in a later season. During the superhero trilogy Mysterion startles his parents while they are getting high (specifically on weed). His parents state, fearfully, that Mysterion has been threatening them to stay off drugs and attempt to hide the pot from him, knowing he wouldn’t approve. This is telling in a few ways but one that is significant is that Kenny hated his parents' use of drugs, including ‘harmless drugs’ such as marijuana so much that he would go as far as to threaten them. We very rarely see an outright aggressive or threatening Kenny and we almost never see him show any ill will towards his family. Kenny is shown over the course of the series to be very fond of his family. His hatred of recreational drug use would have to be quite intense for him to go as far as to threaten his parents. The implied subtext of this scene is that Kenny considered what they were doing to be an extremely bad thing. So bad that he would threaten people he loves enough to terrify them that badly. This shows that since the Major Boobage episode, Kenny's attitude towards drugs has definitely grown negative. Moreso, the threat of staying off drugs was paired with the threat to ‘treat their children better’, leaving the heavy implication that he views those two as linked.

Even further evidence provided for Kenny’s continued sobriety and dislike of recreational abuse of addictive substances. During The Poor Kid, when Kenny was out of options with his foster family, he resorted to providing them with alcohol. Showing that he firmly believes that the best way to destroy people is to give them addictive products like alcohol. Further evidence that he feels negatively towards the drugs and alcohol. It’s played off as a joke in the episode but it’s clear that Kenny has strongly associated alcohol with destroying people.

Despite drugs and alcohol playing a major role in several plot lines that follow, Kenny is never shown to have an interest in them. As stated above, in early seasons he’d happily snort alien coke and now he never so much as approaches drugs positively. It’s extremely indicative that this change and interest in sobriety is long-lasting.

Finally we also see Kenny joining Stan's band that he created out of frustration with his situation on Tegridy Farms. Stan has grown to hate weed and what it represents and it is currently causing his family life to be much worse than usual. Kenny, as shown in episodes like The Scoots, loves his friends a lot Stan included. Watching his friend in so much pain can only cause him to view the substance as even worse. It is very likely that while they were working on the band and practicing he heard Stan's complaints as well. Kenny is actively watching as marijuana tears the Marsh family apart. He also watched Stan’s struggles with alcoholism and Stan’s fathers struggles with addiction as yet further examples of how these substances can destroy lives.

During TFBW game, there is a drug subplot that Mysterion actively works to put a stop to. Again, never once part-taking in drugs and actively fighting against their spread in his city. It doesn’t get any more blatant that that. Kenny is far more likely to join the DEA than he is to get high behind the gym. Kenny would never indulge in recreational drug use, specifically meth, weed, and beer, because of his experience watching them ruin families and strain friendships. As well as his own experience with drugs when he decided that he did not want to live that kind of lifestyle.

There’s a bit more evidence that delves into the realm of headcanon, but it is a logical extension of deductive reasoning based on the canon content we are provided with so I will include it as well. We know that Kenny and Satan developed a friendly relationship during Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. We also saw Satan give Stan a very simplified and child friendly lecture on addiction, as though he’d given the same lecture before. While there is no evidence of this, it isn’t a stretch to imagine the person he’d previously helped through their addictive tendencies was Kenny.

To be clear, this isn’t an anti-drug PSA. I don’t care what characters do or don’t do drugs, this is merely establishing that for Kenny specifically with the character arc he’s had, it is very unlikely and borderline insulting to his struggles for sobriety. However Kenny’s connections to drugs also open up some interesting relationship details as well.

During the major boobage episode in particular all of his friends join forces to get Kenny clean, Kyle in particular spear-heading the effort. Stan was there and Butters was there but neither showed as much passion or commitment for assisting Kenny’s progress to sobriety as Kyle did. Even putting his own neck on the line by hiding a cat in his room (with Sheila Broflovski as a mother, is he suicidal?). It’s yet another case, like with the Kenny Dies episode, where all his friends offer very passive support and Kyle offers a very aggressive and consistent support. It’s shown a pattern thus far of Kyle feeling in some way responsible for Kenny’s wellbeing. Which could be explained by a few things, Kyle’s obsessive and passionate personality or perhaps he feels subconsciously guilty for all the times he’s left Kenny for dead. Really we have no way of knowing why he’s doing this but we do know he’s starting to develop a pattern of protectiveness towards Kenny. What’s even more interesting is during both instances Kenny is too far gone to notice. During Kenny Dies he’s frequently asking for Stan and during this episode he’s angry and belligerent that Kyle is taking away his high. Making both tasks thankless endeavors on Kyle’s part (which is also a little unusual because Kyle loves to be praised for his hard work). Kenny’s relationship with Eric is at a low during this episode, Eric caring more about cats than his old BFF and Kenny now knowing that Eric won’t even make an emotionally dishonest attempt to be there for him. I would be interested to see how Kenny in specific felt about Eric facilitating the drug trade during TFBW considering his sobriety and the fact that Eric was never there for him through it. Butters and Stan just don’t stand out as particularly good or bad friends during this episode, they’re just sort of there and listening to Kyle’s instructions. 

However, it’s worth noting that when there were rumors about Kenny getting high in early seasons, Eric was a mentioned accomplice, which makes it even more interesting to think about how Kenny’s sobriety might have solidified the growing rift between the two. Perhaps they used to be the kind of friends who got high behind the gym together and now Kenny won’t and Eric thinks he’s a pussy with sand in his vagina. It’s just an interesting nugget of characterization to explore. How specifically did Kenny’s sobriety impact his relationship with Eric? It’s an engaging question I wish more fans would ask because I would love to see the potential answers and hypotheses’. It’s also worth noting that after Stan’s own struggles with sobriety and addiction in later seasons, it’s possible that Kenny could have become Stan’s sponsor or perhaps that the two of them connect over this unique struggle in their lives that their other friends wouldn’t have as complete an understanding of.

There’s a lot and a little to be said about Kenny and his relationship to his siblings. The clearest picture we get of his relationships with them is his obsessive protectiveness of Karen, even going so far as to deny her own wants and needs (as seen in the TFBW dlc) in order to protect her from all perceived danger. Even if the danger is as mundane as ‘being lame’. But to get a better idea of his relationship with his siblings, I’d like to start from the beginning.

Namely, before Karen even existed within the narrative. In the early seasons with Kevin and Kenny as the only two McCormick children, we see a passive and friendly relationship (a stark contrast to the Marsh family siblings). Kevin does nothing aggressive towards his brother and he is seen peacefully playing with Kenny as well. While this does not make it impossible that Kevin isn’t a friendly sibling, from the context we see him in for the early seasons, there’s no reason to assume he isn’t a kind older brother to Kenny.

Which brings us to the impossibility of Karen’s birth. As stated above, Kenny revives most frequently through rebirth and he dies far too frequently to allow Carol a successful pregnancy.  And we know that, to Kenny’s knowledge, he was the youngest McCormick child during the episode that confirmed he gives his mother miscarriages. He tried to give her a miscarriage before doing so on accident, hating the idea of having a younger sibling more than anything.

This is something that also lends to the idea that Kevin is a kind older sibling and that he is fond of his parents, regardless of their flaws. It’s explicit within the episode that Kenny doesn’t want a younger sibling because he doesn’t want to share that love. He wants Kevin to spoil him and his parents to spoil him and he doesn’t want to lose that to someone younger and cuter. Perhaps his attachment to being spoiled could be because he’s so relied upon by his friends as a protector that he is loath to lose the one type relationship he has in his life that places him as someone to be protected rather than doing the protecting. This is conjecture, but it would make sense with the characterization we’ve seen thus far.

But how did Karen come into being? The ongoing theory in fanon is that she was born during the year Kenny was dead and his friends replaced him but going through the aging timeline, it’s unlikely he was dead a full year (more likely only a few months) and even if the timeline matched up, Karen is six years old when she is first introduced, only 3 years younger than Kenny. Which means she had to have been born long before this incident. Another ongoing theory is that she’s adopted or a foster child, but those are relatively unlikely as well. The McCormick household has a fucking meth lab in the back yard. There is no adoption agency that is going to give them a child. And this theory ignores her clear resemblance to both Kevin and Stuart.

This is why I believe the most likely source of Karen is through a third party and Stuart. There are no adoption hoops to jump through if Stuart is her biological father and it explains the familial resemblance. It’s not difficult to believe Carol would accept her as her own due to how desperately she wanted another child.

As for how Karen was conceived, that’s up for interpretation. She could have been a product of infidelity or a case of someone else carrying her for the McCormick’s as Carol is effectively baron. I will say that Stuart’s infidelity is more likely purely because of the age. If they’d asked someone to carry Karen to term for them, Karen should have started living with them when Kenny was three and yet, she doesn’t join the family until the age of six. There could be a myriad of reasons for this that can be left entirely up to the interpretation of the viewer but the only logical way for Karen to exist as she does is that she is Kenny’s half sister.

When Karen showed up, Kenny clearly grew immediately attached and began to mature quickly. Taking part in less shenanigans, taking responsibility for her well-being, protecting her from bullies, playing with her in his free time. Kenny didn’t want to be an older brother but when push came to shove, he accepted the responsibility whole-heartedly and fully embraced his younger sister. Even more meaningfully, he didn’t care about whether or not she was fully blood related and treated her as a sister just the same. It’s possible one of the reasons he didn’t see any need for blood to create familial ties is growing up with Kyle and Ike nearby and knowing that it wasn’t blood that made them brothers. It’s also possible that he just has too much integrity to treat her as anything less than his baby sister.

One thing that should be noted about children Kenny’s age is modeling. Children, especially under the age of ten, are extremely susceptible to the behavior modeled for them. For example, children who have older siblings who mistreat them are far more likely to mistreat their own younger siblings. It’s a monkey-see, monkey-do time of life. Therefore I would like to present with this as my evidence that Kevin was just as kind and protective as Kenny is to Karen. He’s at an age where he models what he sees around him, treats others how he is treated. The other sibling relationships he’s close to is Kyle and Ike, which while loving took awhile and is significantly less overtly affectionate at times, and of course the Marsh siblings who have an overtly negative relationship until very recently in canon.

Meaning it’s possible he modeled how to treat a younger sibling after how Kyle treats Ike but it’s difficult to imagine him playing kick the baby with Karen. It’s more likely that he grew up with a protective older brother who spoiled him and he is now passing down the behavior that he received.

In short the McCormick siblings have a complicated but interesting relationship. There’s a lot to be said about how while Kenny was being conceived (with Stuart and Carol constantly getting high at a cult and subsequently arrested) that Kevin was only three years old and he wouldn’t have been able to fend for himself at this time. He might have attached onto Kenny so strongly out of loneliness over the severe neglect his parents subjected him to.

It’s worth mentioning that one place Kenny remains determined to indulge is with his hobbies, specifically with magic the gathering, his psp, and nascar. Kenny has for the majority of his characterization been defined by his hedonism. Doing what felt good, when it felt good. It’s why he has such a striking and intriguing character arc over the course of the series. Going from a pure hearted and selfless hedonist (an interesting combo in itself) into a more mature and more reserved individual who denies himself those simple easy pleasures (such as drugs).

But he still has a desire for escapism and so he pursues his hobbies with a passion and protective zeal that can be alarmingly violent. He doesn’t just love his hobbies and desire to indulge in them, but he also wants them to be respected and he despises a mockery being made of them. He doesn’t just enjoy them, he becomes masters at them. He pours all of his passion into being an amazing Magic player, into achieving the highest score in his favorite game, into murdering the one who mocked Nascar.

Wait, that last one doesn’t quite belong. We’re going to put a pin in that one for further exploration in the Cartman section, but it’s worth mentioning that his passion for that sport is so intense that he would be willing to commit murder. While the characters in South Park are outright murderous by nature, Kenny is one of the least homicidal in town (it’s a relative term) and as such, his turn to homicidal rage in defense of his hobby is notable.

He knows Cartman, he knows this is probably a phase and Cartman will get over it, if it was any other circumstance he’d probably be laughing his ass off at home that Cartman was making an idiot of himself on live TV and driving a vagisil car while eating the cream. It’s objectively hilarious and something that Kenny would normally have laughed at and moved on. He’s shown discomfort with Cartman’s escapades before but he’s never taken it so personally. Even when it was a direct attack against Kenny.

There is a part of Kenny that just can’t tolerate his hobbies being so openly mocked and made a sham of. Even during cock magic, he felt deeply uncomfortable with the spectacle the game he loved was turning into, doing everything he could in his limited capacity to continue to treat it seriously and play with integrity. Kenny loves his hobbies with a passion that we don’t see from him for much else.

One potential explanation for this is the emotional distance he has with other people that I alluded to before. He has a lot of love to give and a passionate personality but he dies. All the time. No one remembers, those that do only use his death for their own gain, and while he’s dead even his closest and dearest friends will attempt to replace him or actively resent him. People can replace him. People can betray him.

Playing cards? They have no autonomy. They can’t change after his death; they just wait for him in his room until his revival. Nascar? Sure, he might miss a few races but he can always catch up or just watch new content. Kenny has found an outlet for all the love that bubbles up inside of him that doesn’t rely on people who he’s learned to mistrust.

There is also something to be said about his addictive personality and it’s very possible that he uses his hobbies as a replacement for drugs. Indulging in healthier hobbies in an attempt to replace the ones he now views so negatively. A strong support of this theory is that before Kenny’s sobriety he was less passionate about hobbies and after his sobriety, he is clearly and consistently more obsessive about his hobbies. (further evidence of his continued sobriety, fucking fight me fanon. don’t even tell me you do it for the angst, a struggle for sobriety is way more angsty than a momentary high. ya’ll just want him to do drugs/alcohol because you do and you kin him.)

Kenny’s love for his hobbies is quickly becoming a defining trait but also it’s worth noting that his hobbies are social in nature. He didn’t pick up drawing or writing or origami, things he’s shown an interest for in early seasons, he picked up Magic and Gaming and Nascar, all three when indulged as hobbies are inherently social. You watch Nascar with people, you play Magic with people, especially in this day and age, you play videogames with people.

Even though he’s given up on connecting with people on a deeper level and puts a distance between himself and others, he still pursues hobbies that connect him to them. This indicates that he could still be trying to reach out to others and wants a deeper connection. But on his own terms. He doesn’t select hobbies that the others are already into to attract them to him, he’s pursuing hobbies he likes. Stubborn and selective boy. I haven’t listed all of his talents, skills, and hobbies here, mind you, just the ones relevant to my points (meaning I left out details about his passion for singing because that appears to be a natural talent and sports because he enjoys them but shows no real passion for them)

I’ve probably put off talking about his friendships for too long at this point but a part of me wanted to save this for last, as so much of what there is to say about his friendships with others is indicated in other segments. But the as this is an entirely unstructured attempt at explaining my thoughts and headcanons about Kenny McCormick, I don’t believe it matters the order I go in so here is an overview of his relationships with a few key individuals in his life.

We’re going to start with Kelly. Not because she’s the most influential or most important, but because her impact on his personality is striking in a way that I have to wonder why more people don’t address it. Prior to meeting Kelly he didn’t have as much resentment towards his friends over his condition and after meeting her, for reasons that will become obvious soon, the seeds of pain grow into something larger.

For those of you who are largely unfamiliar with her, she is Kenny’s first girlfriend. She developed an immediate attraction towards him and began to pursue him with a hesitant intensity. Kenny, as he does with most people who approach him so passionately, treats this with confusion and hesitance. She’s hyper logical, goes at her own pace, and treats the fact that Kenny would like her as a matter of course.

Her pursuit of Kenny isn’t what’s most notable but it is worth noting how he responds to someone pursuing him. It’s the confusion that strikes me the most, he’s not used to being treated like something special, and he doesn’t know how to reply. It’s a far cry from the smooth talking flirty Kenny of fanon. Kenny is far more likely to respond with hesitant interest, confusion, and eventual flustered flattery to a romantic pursuit based on how we’ve seen him respond in canon. This isn’t to say he couldn’t develop a more flirtatious personality with age, but it’s worth noting that within canon we don’t see a hint of that as of yet.

The impact that Kelly truly makes on Kenny’s personality isn’t a romantic one though. Although it is my belief that he will grow to view it and gestures like it as romantic ones in the future, but that’s a headcanon digression. Her contribution to his development is simple:

She saves his life.

While no one else would, no one else tried, no one else thought it was possible. It’s very likely that his friends all have a sense of subconscious learned helplessness in regards to Kenny’s death and therefore don’t fight it because, to them, it’s an inevitability and Kelly was only able to do this because she was not previously exposed to the multitude of Kenny deaths.

But the fact is that a person claimed to care about him, wanted to date him, and then when the worst thing about his life was going to happen again, she saved him. In this moment Kenny associated on some level caring about him to saving him. The fact that Kelly saved him meant she cared and by extension, the fact that no one else saves him or even holds him in his dying moments, means that they do not care about him.

Let’s return to that moment of lost empathy and sympathy when Stan was grieving Kyle’s illness. Perhaps on some level he’d just grown to understand that Stan wasn’t the sort to try helping his friends when they’re in mortal peril, made an exception that it’s not that Stan didn’t care, it’s just that Stan wasn’t the type to try saving another person’s life. Or grieve. Sure, it frames Stan as an awful person but to Kenny, Stan being an inherently cruel person was far less painful than the horrible knowledge that Stan did care. He just didn’t care about Kenny. In this moment he’s able to see the moment that Kelly saved him, because she cared about him, and all the moments that neither Stan nor his other friends even tried to save him. To add insult to injury, he dies right then and there and Stan still doesn’t care.

He’s left with the horrible implication that his worst fears about his friends are right. It’s not that they don’t remember because they can’t, it’s that they just don’t give a fuck about him. It’s terrifying, worse than even the prospect of a friend dying.

Which is another matter, as Kenny is semi-frequent in the underworld(s), it’s difficult for him to fully empathize with the idea of Kyle dying. Normally the terror of a loved one dying is that you’ll never see them again, but for Kenny it’s likely he’d still see Kyle every Tuesday. While he words to protect his friends and clearly loves his friends, when they’re lives are in peril like this, it’s sometimes difficult for him to empathize. He doesn’t want them to die but there’s a bitter part of him that’s unable to grieve if they do.

Kelly’s selfless and kind act, one that showed Kenny a moment of what it was like to feel loved, left such a terrible lasting impact that we can see seasons and seasons later. "ALL THE TIME! I die all the time! And you assholes NEVER remember!! Remember! Try and fucking remember!"

Now this can’t be entirely attributed to Kelly, obviously, but I think she’s an important contributing factor to his descent into bitterness that is entirely under-explored. And I also find the way he continues to pursue the relationship with her after she’s left back to her home state to be really telling about how loyal he is within a relationship. Even with his own financial and logistical issues in dating a person who lives so far away, he does his best to visit her whenever he can. She clearly meant a lot to him and it will forever taunt me that we never got an onscreen breakup. It’s also notable that he shows the same level of respectful loyalty to Tammy while dating her. This showcases a clear pattern of treating his significant others with kindness, patience, loyalty, and respect.

Now that I’ve spent ages talking about a girl most fans don’t even remember existed, let’s start in on Stan. Stan seems to hold a special importance to Kenny, it’s difficult to say exactly why (but I’m sure if I dig more I can find out) but moreso than Eric, Kyle, or Butters, Kenny seeks out Stan’s approval in one way or another. It’s very subtle, sort of a ‘blink and miss it’ thing but it can be blatant. The aforementioned moments regarding Kyle’s hospitalization and his own hospitalization. In more subtle moments, we can see Kenny gravitate towards Stan while Kyle and Cartman have their tiffs.

One possible explanation for his attachment to Stan is his horrified “oh my god, they killed Kenny!” frequently by the time Kyle has joined in with “you bastards!”, Kenny is already too dead to hear it. So it’s possible that he puts a lot of weight on their friendship because he views Stan as one of the few people who react to his death at all.

(I can’t help but wonder how gleeful Kenny must have felt that Stan chose his side during the Black Friday trilogy)

Regardless of the reason, Stan appears to be the one among them that Kenny has distanced himself the most from. He’s shown to be very compassionate in most situations but in later seasons when Stan is struggling, Kenny is frequently distant or unresponsive towards it. This seems to be mending in the most recent seasons, with episodes where it shows that they’re fond of one another but even then, there’s an undeniable rift. Despite being Stan’s friend for longer and what most would consider closer to him, during the band episode Stan interacted more with Butters and Jimmy than he did Kenny.

This is also possibly explained by Kenny’s under-explored shyness (something I don’t know if I’ll even get the chance to dig into because I’ve already been going on for so long and I’m barely through half of the things I want to talk about). But I believe that Kenny has put some emotional distance between himself and Stan due to the moments that led him to believe that Stan does not ‘care’. One example of this is during the Cthulhu trilogy, when he explodes in response to his friends questioning, he gets upset with Stan’s reactions but only explodes to Kyle’s, despite their questions being equally ‘offensive’. Perhaps he’s put up more emotional walls with Stan and he’s more prepared for him to be insensitive than he is with Kyle.

Kyle is a complicated relationship to define. On one hand they’ve both had moments of cool apathy towards one another (Kyle during ookie-mouth and Kenny during Cherokee Hair Tampons), although both of those situations are easily understood under the lens of the other stressors. Kyle claimed to “not care about Kenny” but it was only in response to being asked to spit in one another’s mouths. Kyle is a canonical germaphobe (in weirdly most regards other than poop, which he is strangely very comfortable with) and being asked to let someone else spit in your mouth would be trying even if you had no issue with germs. As for Kenny’s moment, as explained above, he was far more concerned with the implications of what it meant for his friendship with Stan at that moment. And not entirely unreasonably.

Kyle’s strange because despite not being Kenny’s closest friend by any stretch of the imagination, he’s been there for Kenny during most of his pivotal character moments in one capacity or another. In a way, Kyle is the one constant in his life. He holds Kenny as he dies in Wing, he stays by his side in Kenny Dies, he fights for his sobriety in Major Boobage, he invites him to become a Jew Scout in Jewbilee, helping him out in The Coon, there are weirdly numerous examples of their friendship and yet there is no explicit focus on it. It’s also worth noting that among all his friends, Kyle was the one Kenny chose to view the meteor shower with and this was during a time where he was still objectively closest to Cartman. And the same can be said for the Coon episode, Kyle was the one Kenny went to for help.

It’s difficult to define their relationship because while they have a strong pattern of a deep and supportive friendship, they also never even attempt to be one another’s ‘favorite’. Although Kyle does seem to be the most protective of Kenny among the main boys (this is of course only a relative, the bar is really low). For example, despite all the boys having lice in Licecapades, Kyle was the only one who came forward to save Kenny from the sock bath. It would take a whole other essay to fully dissect how their relationship works but to simplify it, it appears that they rely on one another.

During Jewbilee, Kyle has complete baseless faith that Kenny will save them. There’s no reason for this other than he just knows that Kenny will. Moses is captured, an all powerful figure, and Kyle still thinks his parka wearing little friend has got this covered. Conversely Kenny comes to Kyle when he needs help, like with Mysterion’s “You’re the smartest kid I know”. It’s just interesting how much they rely on one another and never make a big deal of it. Their friendship is based on an understated mutual trust.

Cartman on the other hand takes any and all trust, and throws it in the bin. If Kyle requires an essay to explain, Kenny’s relationship with Cartman needs a dissertation. That said, I’ll make an attempt to keep this short and to the point. Eric and Kenny do seem to at one point have shared a mutually beneficial friendship, with both of them liking Kyle and Stan more than they liked one another but still clinging to one another in a strange and desperate loneliness. One of the ways they bonded over the course of their friendship was a similar sense of humor. They both enjoyed crude and childish jokes more than either Kyle or Stan did and therefore they were able to indulge in them with one another. The trouble was that Eric had a malicious edge to his humor and Kenny did not. Eric was willing to take things farther than Kenny ever was, potentially purely to prove to the world that he would. A perfect microcosm of why this aspect of their friendship fell apart is found in How To Eat With Your Butt. They both found the ‘butt’ school picture to be hilarious in the beginning but when real people were looking for their son, Kenny dropped the joke immediately but Eric pushed further. These sorts of moments increased in frequency, leading Kenny to pity Eric above all else and Eric to both love and despise Kenny in equal measure.

Eric was still the person Kenny reached out to more than most people, like during Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, but the strain on their friendship began to show more and more and then… Kenny died. Eric knows about Kenny’s deaths, possibly the entire reason he spent all his time trying to make a clone Shakey’s rather than actually saving Kenny’s life. But more time passed between this death than any other and Eric, who has abandonment issues but that’s a whole can of beans to explain, decided he needed to replace Kenny. The trouble was his first attempt, Butters, wasn’t the same. Neither was his second attempt in Tweek. And while Butters did eventually replace Kenny as Cartman’s ‘best friend’, it still wasn’t the same. Eric had lost that friendship for good and still longing for a taste of it, he’ll often still seek out Kenny’s opinion on things. Kenny meanwhile came back to life (we’re going to skip over the sharing a body possession arc, not because it isn’t relevant but because it’s just WAY too much to cover in a short span of time) and found that his best and worst friend had replaced him. In some ways it was a relief, being Cartman’s number 1 friend (especially when Cartman clearly wanted Stan and Kyle’s approval more) was never a great role. But at the same time, being replaced is never a pleasant feeling and it really bloomed that horrible terror that had begun to grow with Kelly and Stan. His friends don’t actually love him, he’s replaceable, they don’t need him. He begins to close off more and more through this and starts to focus his attention on spiting Cartman in small ways (like as Mysterion). He can’t help but be a little resentful and a little uncomfortable.

This discomfort can also explain a lot of why Kenny appears so uncomfortable around Butters during Going Native, not wanting to be called Butters’ best friend and not wanting to go on the trip with him to begin with. Overall Kenny seems to veer from apathetic to Butters to uncomfortable with him. There’s no single scene in the show where he actually seems to show any affection towards Butters. He was forced to go on the trip during Going Native, he had to listen to Butters call Nascar ‘stupid’ endlessly with Cartman, and he just… doesn’t spend time with Butters. They’re seen in the background together, but so are Clyde and Kenny or Annie and Kenny. This isn’t to say Butters has had no impact on his life, but even when he’s on a trip to Hawaii with Butters, he spends his free time writing letters back to his friends or hanging out at a bar alone instead of spending it with Butters. Butters does seem to hold a certain level of affection for Kenny though, whether this is due to Cartman’s influence (the constant comparisons that put Kenny one pedestal as the ‘best’ kind of friend) or due to an actual affection for Kenny, that’s up for debate. I lean towards the former because it’s more consistent with Butters’ overall characterization and it also gives the progression of their relationship a… progression. In the latter interpretation Butters’ fondness for Kenny seems to spring from nowhere within the scenes we’re provided with. In the former, Butters’ fondness is based on his own insecurities and the significant trauma that Kyle, Stan, and Cartman put him through. There really isn’t anything worth dissecting with the Fun Times With Weapons incident, Kenny doesn’t appear to be particularly apologetic nor does he do anything to protect Butters from the hell that follows. Strangely Stan seems to be the most obsessed with getting Butters’ help, although in the most misguided ways possible. Furthermore, during the Cthulhu trilogy Butters is imprisoned and forced to eat his own poop to survive throughout the entirety of it and Kenny just… didn’t care at all. The initial imprisonment was clearly Cartman’s doing but even after Cartman was kicked out and Kenny assumed leadership, he made no effort to free or protect Butters. Whether this was out of resentment or apathy is left up to interpretation. Put plainly, Butters and Kenny do have a strange connection although that connecting piece appears to just be Cartman and without Eric, that bond is nearly nonexistent. (istg if i get another message calling me a bunny hater… guys, im not being mean or an anti, this isn’t about ships, this is about talking about how kenny actually feels and behaves towards other characters within canon. and no, kenny did not invite him to game night. it was very clearly a joke that no one invited him… that said, if someone did invite him, it’s more likely to have been kyle who invited him due to kyle’s response when butters first entered the house)

Kenny also has some interesting relationships with the secondary cast that is worth mentioning (Craig, Timmy, and Bradley in particular) but I’m not sure how long I’ve been typing for so we’ll put a pin in that.

Fuck, I had a lot more bulletpoints I wanted to get to in order to expand fully on his character and I haven’t even gotten to the ‘conclusions’ section but my fingers fucking hurt. Here are the bullet points I didn’t get to, if you’re really curious feel free to ask for more details on any of them:

Anger issues

Mischief

Wisdom and foolishness

Growth

Prostitution 

Sex

Parents

Work

Protective

Shyness / Quiet / timidity

Loyalty

Resentment

Hedonism

Pride and poverty

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Christmas Special Villains

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Much like I did for Halloween, I wanted to do a bunch of one-shot or at the very least minor Christmas villains, which presented me with an interesting problem – most Christmas specials don’t really have villains. Usually the main obstacle to overcome in any holiday special is some sort of emotional fault of the main character, a lack of belief in the spirit of the holiday, or something to that effect, and when there is an actual villain, it tends to just be ones from the show at large with a Christmas-related scheme. Like I’m not doing Princess Morbucks or the Kanker sisters for this.

Luckily, There were a few I was sure on, and I managed to scrounge up a few more to deliver five lovingly-wrapped holiday villains. We have:

Mrs. Claus from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Ghost Writer from Danny Phantom

Robot Santa from Futurama

Edna Jucation and the Faculty Four from Codename: Kids Next Door

The Woodland Critters from South Park

Here’s the most interesting thing: Despite Christmas stories tending to lean more towards internal conflict and self-reflection, when they do have actual, tangible threats like these, they tend to be honestly and genuinely great. This is in stark contrast to A lot of the villains from the Halloween specials, who tended to just be big scary baddies without much oomph to them.

Actor: Mrs. Claus is portrayed by Carol Kane, an incredibly prolific actress who you may know best as Valerie, the wife of Miracle Max from The Princess Bride. And much like in that film, she manages to be as enjoyable and funny as the guy playing her husband, which is a tall order indeed – in that film it was Billy Crystal, and in the special it’s Gilbert Gottfried.

Ghost Writer is portrayed by Will Arnett of all people. This was post-Gob Bluth but pre-Batman and BoJack, so while not unknown by any stretch it’s definitely weird to go back and see him in a Butch Hartman action cartoon of all places. He does a great job, as to be expected; when has he ever done poorly?

In his first appearance, Robot Santa was voiced by none other than John Goodman. Normally I’d say Goodman would be perfect for the role of Santa, but… this one’s a maniacal robotic serial killer. It’s a wonderfully jarring juxtaposition. After that, John DiMaggio gave Robot Santa a voice for his other appearances, and he does a good job for sure. Obviously he’s no John Goodman, but really, who is?

Edna Jucation is voiced by Candi Milo, and the Faculty Four are played by Dee Bradley Baker and Darran Norris; Baker is the Unintelligible Tutor and Thesaurus Rex, while Norris is Mr. Physically Fitastic and the Human Text. These are all top-tier veteran voice actors, and they do a fine job, but I can’t particularly say they really make any of these characters stand out or be memorable, which is a shame.

As to be expected, the Woodland Critters are voiced by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Big shock there. Even less shocking is that they are perfectly funny as these depraved animals.

Motivation/Goals: Out of all of these, I think it’s really fitting that Mrs. Claus is the one with the best motivation. As the HEAD head vampire in the North Pole, she has turned Santa into a vampire and put a halt on Christmas because she is overworked and exhausted, having to do all the household chores all year while Santa only works one night. It is absolutely, perfectly understandable that she snapped… but apparently this isn’t even the first time, as Santa mentions at the end this has happened on multiple prior occasions. You think he’d treat her better after the second or third time, but then we wouldn’t have a plot.

I’d say that Ghost Writer and the Woodland Critters are tied for the next spot; both of them have solid reasons for doing what they’re doing. Ghost Writer was just a humble author trying to finish a Christmas story in time for Christmas, but unfortunately this caught the eye of the extremely Scroogey Danny Phantom, who absolutely hates Christmas due to traumatic events caused by his family fighting on Christmas in the past. Danny, in a moment of incredible callousness, blasts the poor ghost’s manuscript to bits and then proceeds to rub it in, which drives GW to breaking the annual truce and using his powers to torment Danny by trapping him in a Christmas story where he and everyone else can only speak in rhyme. It’s honestly hard to feel sympathy for Danny here, but GW does take it a bit too far.

The Woodland Critters, on the other hand, are just utterly depraved… but that’s to be expected seeing as they are the creations of Eric Cartman, inhabiting a Christmas story whose sole reason for existing is to make Kyle look like a tool. In the story, they get Kyle knocked up with the Antichrist. You see, there master is Satan, and they want nothing more than for his spawn to be born into the world. They really just exist as a reason for Cartman to rip on Kyle for being a Jew at Christmastime, as Kyle himself points out in their debut episode.

Edna and the Faculty Four are a bit simple and amusing, as is befitting of a gimmicky villain from The world of the KND. They team up with the Delightful Children because Substitute Teacher’s Day is virtually unknown compared to Christmas, the kind of absurd, wacky reason for villainy you’d expect from a world where some of the most feared supervillains include an evil dentist and a vampire who spanks people. Robot Santa is likewise extremely simple, yet effective: every Christmas he flies down to Earth to punish the naughty – which is everyone except Zoidberg. This is due to a programming oversight that left his standards set way too high, so no one can ever measure up. Except Zoidberg. There’s really not much more to him than that, but really, does their need to be?

Final Fate: Mrs. Claus is redeemed at the end of the special thanks to Billy, who helps her understand the true meaning of Christmas and who heals her husband so that he can apologize. Things seem like they might work out for real this time because now Malcolm McDowell’s vampire is around to help with tidying up, so hooray! Happy ending here!

Ghost Writer gets thwarted because Danny picks up an orange; as Ghost Writer never watched Drake & Josh and thus didn’t realize that “door hinge” is an acceptable rhyme, he was unable to continue writing his story and got beat up by Danny and his rogues gallery and then thrown into Walker’s prison for breaking the yearly truce in the Ghost Zone. At least he got to complete his book?

The Woodland Critters go out when Santa comes in and blasts them away with a shotgun… but since they are technically fictional characters, they show up in Imaginationland to cause problems. Still, it’s reassuring to know they can be taken out with simple firearms.

Edna Jucation, the Faculty Four, and Robot Santa really don’t have any canonical final fate; they just get defeated and then go on their merry way. In Robot Santa’s case, he actually showed up quite a few more times after his initial appearance to wreak havoc, but the Faculty Four and Edna were entirely oneshot antagonists.

Final Thoughts & Score: Christmas honestly fares a lot better than Halloween does as far as I can see. The villains tend to be a lot more thematic, or at the very least they have more personality and thematic function. Halloween doesn’t really have any sort of core themes to work off of as opposed to Christmas, which has a lot of reoccurring themes in works based around it. Still, most of these characters just settle on being funny.

Mrs. Claus and the Woodland Critters are the best of the bunch here, and both earn themselves a spot on the Nice List with a 9/10 each. Mrs. Claus is just a lot of fun, mostly because of the fact she has legitimate grievances on top of being a unique twist on the character. Mrs. Claus as a vampire overlord who commands hordes of vampire elves? That’s the sort of creative wackiness that Billy & Mandy delivered on. The Woodland Critters are just funny, plain and simple, acting as the sort of amusing subversion that could be expected of from South Park in its glory days as well as being totally in line with Cartman’s personality. These are the exact sort of original characters I’d expect from a guy who ground up a kid’s parents and made them into chili, what with their blood orgies and ultraviolence. Amusingly enough, they score a point higher than Cartman did in his own Psycho Analysis, which is mostly due to their limited appearances meaning that they stay remarkably consistent, where Cartman tends to be whatever an episode needs to be, be that hero, anti-hero, or villain.

Next up are Ghost Writer and Robot Santa, who both get 7/10. Ghost Writer is a very amusing oneshot, but it’s honestly weird that out of all the Villains from Danny Phantom, he’s the first one I talked about. You’d think it would be Ember or Vlad or something… at any rate, he’s an amusing antagonist, but he’s also one who it’s hard not to view as being in the right, especially since Danny was just a jerk to him completely unprovoked due to his own personal hangups with the holidays. As usual with fun ideas on the show though he was only ever used once, which is a real shame but at the same time understandable; his gimmick really only works with Christmas, so it would have been weird shoehorning him into another episode’s plot. For what he is, he’s fun.

Robot Santa has a similar problem, not really being able to function outside of Christmas specials, but his few appearances leave him as an amusing antagonist who never really overstays his welcome. He’s not as entertaining or engaging as, say, Mom, but he definitely offers some laughs with his hilarious concept and his ridiculous levels of bloodlust. Points t him for helping out the heroes in the first Futurama movie too.

That just leaves us with Edna and the Faculty Four, and the Faculty Four just manage to scrape onto the bottom of the Nice List with a collective 5/10. They don’t really have much character or personality, especially when compared to the heroic Marvel pastiche that is Elfa Strike, but as brief amusing gag villains meant to pay loving tribute to the Fantastic Four, I think they’re decent. Edna is not so lucky; she’s a bit obnoxious, shrill, and doesn’t really correlate to any sort of Marvel character, which is baffling since the entire episode is one big love letter to Marvel comics. Sad to say, but she’s landing smack dab on the Naughty List with a 2/10. She doesn’t even have a cool gimmick!

I suppose that wraps it up for Christmas special villains. Doing something like this is tough, because it really makes you sit back and wonder what sort of Christmas villains you should put on. Obviously I avoided any theatrical film villains, but that did leave one particularly glaring omission of a villain from a holiday special… a big, green, unpleasant omission. He’s a mean one, for sure...

[skunky2]

Top 11 Worst Cartoons of the 2010′s!!

We had so many great cartoons introduced in this decade and while I haven't seen every last one I can say this decade was one of the best for animation in general! Sadly for every good animated show produced in this era there are also some bad apples in the bunch the following cartoons are some of the worst I have seen but please remember this is only my opinion if you like any of these shows then that's great continue to enjoy them don't let me stop you!!! 

        Now let's get this list started!!!

11. Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs the series         (2017-2018) 

Ok before we talk about the show I want to make one thing clear I don't hate the films in fact I actually find them enjoyable even going as far as calling them guilty pleasures the show on the other hand is a huge flop compared to the movies were the films had creativity and fun humor the show lacks that in fact this is by far the most boring show to be based on a freaking film about an invention that makes it rain food!! The other problem I have with this show is it's set before the events of the films so Flint hasn't even become an inventor yet but instead it's about him in high school and apparently him and Sam knew each other already did they even watch their first film!? Also the mayor is the principle because why not seriously this has got to be the worst show based on a hit animated film it's so painfully unfunny that I question how kids found it entertaining to begin with!!!! Not every movie needs a tv series and this one proves it!

10.  Total Dramarama (2018-ongoing) 

Oh the pain to see the Total Drama series downgraded to this especially since the original Total Drama Island took a ton of risk for a show aimed at kids also how did we go from a series that spoofed reality  shows to a bad Muppet Babies rip-off!! What's really sad is that creators have no desire to produce a new Total Drama series they just want to work on this. On the plus side it's still not as bad as other shows your going to see later on the list. 

9. Super Noobs (2015-ongoing) 

Other then the "how do you do fellow kids" title I wasn't expecting this show to wow me considering it was brought to you by the same dude that brought us Johnny Test aka the original most hated cartoon of all time I got the DA pics to back me up! The worst part is this show has a very interesting concept but it's ruined due to the bad humor and characters. The show is about a group of outcast middle schoolers who receive super powers in the form of power balls from aliens who then become their mentors and how they must save the world from an evil virus that threatens the world sounds like an awesome plot too bad it's not pushed further. 

8. Almost Naked Animals (2011-2013)

Yes this is a children's cartoon not a title for an X rated film. All I can say about this show is why? Why would anyone greenlight a show about an animal nudist hotel not only is it disgusting but those character designs yikes!!!! They look so ugly looking no one wants to see something that looks this hideous!!  Not to mention the humor is just as terrible as the art design. 

7. Breadwinners (2014-2016) 

You know when you feature twerking in your show you automatically fail. The best way I can describe this cartoon is it's just awful first off the two idiot main characters who I'm not going to refer by name since they are some of the most stupidest names for characters seriously  SwaySway and Buhdeuce!? Anyway the show is about these two "ducks" I say ducks like that since they look nothing like ducks they look like frogs or aliens or something. Try to make your character if they are an animal try to look as close as possible as the species they're supposed to be so it will make it easier for you audience to identify them. Well they fly around in a rocket car or something I really don't care and deliver bread to stock-image ducks which brings me to another problem they can't even draw background characters they just go on Google find a duck photo and photoshop cartoon eyes and whatever on it how lazy a can you be!! Also I found out a long time ago your actually not supposed to give ducks bread yeah it can use malnutrition and illness to them so this cartoon is spreading the wrong message to kids. 

6. Brickleberry (2012-2015)

You know why I despise most adult cartoons because most of them are either trying way to hard to be quote on quote "adult" with overuse of swearing, gore, shock humor, and sex jokes and guess what this show is full of this!! Not only is the animation similar to that to Family Guy it's just as disgusting and offensive!!! The show revolves around these park rangers and their everyday lives at their jobs and the characters aren't very good either they are pretty much all assholes, stereotypes of usual characters you see in adult animation, and your typical characters that are just there to offend you! In fact the little bear cub character is pretty much the shows answer to Brain from Family Guy with the personality  of Cartman from South Park. Now I haven't seen this show in a long time but I just remember it wasn't a pleasant experience if you want to check it out just be warned it's not for the faint of heart.  Also the creators of this show produced another show for Netflix that is just a carbon copy with cops instead of rangers and I though that Seth McFarlane was lazy when it came to plots!! It's called Paradise P.D. btw 

5. Teen Titians Go!  (2013-Ongoing) 

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah you've heard it all before this show is garbage, a disgrace to DC comics, stupid etc. The animation community has tore this show apart so there really isn't much to say that already hasn't been said but I will say this I never intended to hate this show as much as I do in fact I was fine with it when it fist came out I mean the original Teen Titians cartoon from 2003 will always be better then this show in every possible way but I wasn't one of the fans to jump on the hate wagon when this was announced I mean I had nothing wrong with it just focusing on comedy if you remember correctly the original had eps that were just as silly and bizarre. The main reasons why this show is so high up on this list is for the following reasons the first is I've never seen a show like this disrespect a fan base this much  it's like the creators have it out for the original fans and they get joy out of mocking them with all these pathetic critic call out eps they do it also shows that they can't take criticism at all!!!! Second is how the creators view their show and animation in general they literally came out in an interview and said the reason why they made the show so stupid is because it's for children you do know kids aren't stupid right guys they deserve shows that don't try to talk down to them!!!! But the main reason for my anger towards this show is how they made an episode awhile were the moral literally was that cartoons are only for kids and told the original fans to grow up!! Mainly the creators themselves have this warped mindset that I honestly wish would just die out that only children should be allowed to watch cartoons and that their show should be immune to all the hate since it's for kids so they use the "just for kids" excuse for their show being like it is. It's hard to believe they would even have a mindset like that when they are adults themselves making an animated cartoon show. I didn't mean to rant this long but I mainly hate everything this show stands for and sadly it's going onto to get 300+ eps. Personality I really think it's time for this show to officially Go not because I don't like it's mainly because it's showing signs it's on it's last legs and with that Sixth Titian thing they pulled this summer and repeating episode plots is starting to show that the writers are becoming burned out this show was never good but I think it's time it ended. There are tons of other reasons this show is bad but I rather not go into them this has gone on long enough already. 

4. PPG 2016 (2016-Ongoing) 

Well TTG isn't the worst reboot/spinoff Cartoon Network produced in this decade the honor has to go to this piece of trash Powerpuff Girls 2016!! Why was this made simple CN wanted more money so they made this show to sell toys yes that was the only purpose of this reboot to sell merchandise too bad the show sucked so hard that the target demo along with the fans of the original Powerpuff Girls hated it! There are tons of problems with this reboot that have already been explained such as god awful animation errors, bad writing, and let's not forget the memes those outdated memes. Not to mention they removed the character Ms. Bellum since the creator thought that having a beautiful, warm-hearted, motherly, intelligent and strong-willed woman on the show was offensive to the new generation! Not to mention they got rid of breast but they did allow the girls to twerk tho!!! Yes because having an intelligent good-looking woman with boobs is bad but kindergarteners doing a sexually explicate dance is fine!! Seriously I feel so bad for Craig McCracken it was bad enough he was screwed over by Disney but to have his show turned into this!! 

3. The Problem Solverz (2011-2013) 

If you want to know my opinion for the worst animated show Cartoon Network has ever made it would be this one! Not only is the show ugly to look at but it uses enough bright colors to make your eyes bleed. The show is about these detectives who solve problems in their home town too bad they cause 90% of the problems they need to solve. These characters are so nasty to look out we got this ugly fish-like man, some robot, and a big nosed hideous lipped Domo wannabe. It was cancelled from tv but ran it's final season on Netflix. I still feel pain for any child that had to sit though this. 

2. Pickle and Peanut (2015-2018) 

Ugh this show!!!! If you've never seen it you may guess this would be something on Adult Swims line up since they're more known for wired shows like this but no it's not from Adult Swim in fact you'll never believe who made this Disney!!! Yes Disney Television Animation produced this the very same company that bought us shows like Gravity Falls, Phineas and Ferb, Star Vs. and so on made this garbage. There are several problems with this show first off the animation remember when I said that Breadwinners was lazy for using stock-images as background characters well this is the same damn thing but in reverse they couldn't even animate a pickle and a gosh darn peanut this is a peeve I have with most modern cartoons if it's not for a joke then why use stock-images it just makes your show look lazy! Second the humor it sucks it's mainly is "trying" to be Regular Show since both characters are slackers and get into bizarre adventures. Also this show loves to show gross-out shots like the ones in Spongebob for example but unlike Spongebob these are not funny and just plain disgusting like how is this show fun for kids to watch I mean I can understand why kids love cartoons like TTG but I can't see any child liking a show like this!!! Finally we have to talk about the god awful theme song it's not even a theme song but a random robot voice listing off things adults think that children are into so pretty much they're trying way too hard to appeal to kids just like with PPG 2016. There really isn't much more to say about this show it's just awful and it's still hard to believe Disney had a part in making this.

Now it's time for the cartoon from the 2010's that I believe disserves the crown as the worst show from this decade. Out of all the shows I've seen this year none of them of completely  disgusted me more then this one it pretty much has everything  I despise in modern adult animation it makes Brickleberry look tame in comparison!!! It comes to us from our friends at Adult Swim may I present to you the cartoon that I consider the worst!

1. Mr. Pickles (2013-Ungoing) 

I honestly don't know where to start on this one it's just god awful!! First it's got all the things I despise in adult animation shock humor, sex jokes, violence for the sake of it, and ugly character designs!! The show is about a family who owns a dog who is either the devil himself or one of his loyal followers and the dog does extremely messed up things to people stuff I rather not try to remember let's just say this show is MA for reason. If you have a faint heart please stay away from this show at all cost!!!

So there it is my opinions for the worst shows from this decade I hope you all enjoy it since I worked really hard on it.

I didn’t include Big Mouth or Paradise P.D. because I’ve never seen them but yeah I know they’re bad. 

[liskantope]

After over ten years of sporadically watching South Park and having free access to all episodes from their website during much of that time, I finally decided to start watching it from the beginning. I did this knowing that the early seasons are widely considered to be the worst (including by the creators!) and remembering that I was kind of grossed out by most of the early-season episodes I had watched. But apart from anything else, I figured it would be fun to see how characters and running gags were first introduced as well as get a better sense of how such a remarkable show evolved as the writers got more mature.

Well, now I’ve gotten through the early period of South Park (which I consider to be prior to season 5 and particularly Cartman’s big episode “Scott Tenorman Must Die”), and first of all I have to say that on average it’s about as bad as I expected it to be. The humor is much less mature, the plots less clever (although they get better closer to season 5), and the satire far more crudely simplistic and less sophisticated. Worst of all, while the humor in later South Park is certainly acrid in its own way, there’s a stronger undercurrent of plain old mean-spiritedness in the early seasons.

But what surprised me the most was the evolution of the main characters, and a lot of that revolved around the evolution of Eric Cartman. (Butters on the other hand surprised me in just how little he’s evolved, i.e. how Buttersy he was right from his first two real episodes in season 3, but that’s a topic for another time.)

I had always read that the season 5 episode “Scott Tenorman Must Die” marked a big turning point for Cartman because it was the first episode that showed him as truly evil (in fact committing the most evil of all of his evil deeds) instead of just a cranky spoiled kid who spouts the occasional Archie Bunker type comments. But I hadn’t realized just how profoundly Cartman has evolved and how that changed the whole dynamic of the show.

The thing is, in early seasons I get the impression that Cartman is still written to be fairly hateful and obnoxious at least on the little-kid level, but it’s hard for me not to see him as somewhat of a victim and no more obnoxious than the other boys. In fact, he is maybe less of a bully than the others, which is what really shocked me. To start with, the fatphobic harassment is absolutely relentless, from the other boys but often from the grown-ups as well, and it’s done in such a way that it comes across as abuse we the audience are supposed to join in with as well by pointing and laughing at “the fat kid”. I get that personal responsibility is (apart from “free speech”) pretty much the main shtick of the creators and that they’re certainly not shy in later depictions of Cartman of portraying obesity as always a consequence of bad choices -- much as I think that’s a harmful and wrong message, I respect that it reflects an earnestly-held point of view. But the constant ribbing in the earlier seasons isn’t conveying any meaning beyond it being fun to make and listen to derogatory comments about people’s weights.

And on top of that, there are a number of plots where the other boys gang up on Cartman and force him to do the most unpleasant and disgusting things. I really wasn’t expecting this since it almost never happens in later episodes; that’s Butters’ role (although very early on they seemed to be trying to put Pip into such a role as well). I think the motive of the writers had to do with Cartman’s main comedic trait being crankiness, which made it fun to watch him in uncomfortable situations. But the later formula of putting ever-cheerful Butters into those situations instead while showcasing Cartman’s tendencies towards whining in the face of ridiculously small inconveniences works about a hundred times better, in my opinion.

Cartman isn’t even that much of a bigot early on (so far as of early season 5 where I’m at now). I think Mr. Garrison has actually made far worse comments than Cartman ever has at this point. Cartman only makes a small handful of relatively mild anti-Semitic comments; his main hated outgroup is hippies, which doesn’t actually apply to any of the people he’s interacting with. Meanwhile his dynamic with the other boys is somewhat dominated by the constant fatphobic slurs they’re throwing at him. Again, it’s hard not to come away with a feeling that yeah Cartman’s kind of repulsive but everyone else is worse, and that’s a major aspect of the mean-spirited ethos that hangs over the whole thing.

Don’t get me wrong, when considered in isolation I find early Cartman really funny a lot of the time, with a bunch of catchphrases that unfortunately petered out later on (“I’m seriously!”, “Respect my authorita!”, and best of all, “Screw you guys, I’m going home!” with the accompanying index fingers). I had a good chuckle in Jimmy’s debut episode where Jimmy impersonates Cartman by going, “Goddammit! Goddammit!”. There’s something light and amusing about watching the snarky but harmless “Goddammit! I’m seriously!” Cartman doing his thing as opposed to the later Hitler-esque version. But when zooming out to the full picture, I much prefer a dynamic where there’s one character that I can love to hate while watching him bully and desperately aim for dominance over others, rather than a sadsack who’s clearly supposed to elicit both disgust and our enjoyment at watching him constantly getting beaten and picked on.

[iuukees-blog]

I was bored so i wrote this essay(/nonsense ramblings)

I acknowledge Kyman is kinda abusive but I DON'T ship them because it's abusive and i DON'T ship them because they look cute together.The reason why i ship them because their relationship is so complex and fucked up.Like what exactly are they to each other?They want to kill each other yet they saved each other's lives.It's so confusing yet interesting.Aside from that,the hints of it being canon too.I mean Cartman is so fucking gay for Kyle.The thing is when you have an in love sociopathic child,BAM,you have Cartman.

• Cartman is a sociopath which means he only cares about himself and lacks of empathy/feelings.Sociopaths love in a different way than people usually do.Their love isn't based on emotions but enjoyment of their crush's company.

• Cartman is a child.Children,when they're in love usually tend to bully/tease their crushes because they crave attention and are too young to understand their feelings.They're still in the confused state of understanding their feelings and misunderstood it.If you think Cartman is out of the line teasing Kyle,goddamit people it's South Park,nothing is normal there.

• Some people said the reason why Cartman hates Kyle so much is because he's a jew.I don't think so.Cartman grew in a stereotypical environment.The way he views life/other people is always based on stereotypes.(ex : jews are greedy,gays are bad,etc) However,he doesn't actually understand anything at all,i mean he's just a child.He's a confused child but has standards about life with all the stereotypes he learnt.Take as an example that he actually thinks jew is an insult instead of a belief.

So in short,Cartman loves Kyle in a wrong way.He doesn't know how to love him and he doesn't actually know what his feeling actually is.

Now let's move on to Kyle.People are convinced that the least posibility is an one-sided love.Well,i don't think Kyle actually likes Cartman but Kyle actually cares about him (as a friend?).Hmm let's see...It's like Kyle hates him but he also wants the best for Cartman (he's kinda like a mom.Face it that Kyle is a better mom for Cartman than Lianne) Also don't fucking dare to say that Kyle is Cartman's victim because he sure ain't.If he were a victim,he would try to get rid of Cartman,which he did sometimes but remember that the fact Kyle can't go on with problems in his life without Cartman.Even though Cartman kinda did some shits to Kyle,Kyle still needs him in some ways and he still wants to spend time with him.Rivalry and bullying are different things get over it.

BONUS;Here are also some things i noticed regarding some of the episodes.

• Fat Butt and Pancake Head - Hand puppet (Mitch Conner) kissed Kyle and making out with Ben Affleck (+giving him a bj).Hm,i feel like something like this has happened before.*cough* Homosexual persona through a hand puppet *cough*

• Smug Alert - Did Cartman seriously stay quiet about him saving Kyle?He can just blackmail him or something (Like in Ginger Cow).And why did he save the whole family?I mean if Cartman only save Kyle just for himself i think it's better to leave the whole family so he can watch Kyle suffers.Or maybe he doesn't have evidence to convince Kyle.Wait,Butters is a witness and you know damn well Butters can't lie.

• Le Petit Tourette - I'm pretty sure when he said "I love you,man." He's still in the condition of can't controlling his speech.

• Imaginationland Trilogy - I thought from the Cartman Sucks episode he learnt that sucking balls is gay even though he's the one receiving it?I know he wants to humiliate Kyle but isn't there any other way?And dude,remember when Cartman crawled over to Kyle before he resurrected him?He sounds so worried even his voice cracked and that was so beautiful.He may just wants Kyle to suck his balls but i sensed worry and pain in that scene.

• Tonsil Trouble - Cartman didn't say anything when those people said he and Kyle are lovers but lost his shit when someone said he and Butters are lovers (at Super Fun Time).

• Eek,a Penis! - You know what i'm talking about.It's so fucking kinky.

• You Have 0 Friends - I'm so confused every single time Cartman helps someone without him gaining anything from it.

• It's a Jersey Thing - The other kids get raped,Kyle gives no shit.Cartman gets raped,Kyle transformed.Also "You're my little monster." is the cutest shit ever.

• You're Getting Old & Ass Burger - This is not really Kyman related but i need to ask this...why Kyle left Stan in such a state?I thought they were super best friends?So when your super best friend is lamer than before you left them?That's kinda fucked up how Kyle didn't do anything to help Stan.

• Cartman Finds Love - Why would Cartman goes so far as selling himself off by admiting he's a gay couple with Kyle just to get two black people together?I mean i know he's racist but i thought he hates being called gay or something like that.He seriously risked it just to matchmake people?For other people's love life?Really?Also Kyle seriously just sat there listening to the whole confession and didn't fight back.That's not very Kahl.

• Majority of Season 20..Jelly Kahl....

• Stick of Truth - "By the moon and stars in the sky,i swear we will destroy you."

• The Fractured But Whole - Is it just me or Cartman sounds jealous when he said fartkour is pretty gay.And the way a fucking kite flies to space next to the moon and the stars in the sky instead of a sunny and windy day.And also Cupid Me connecting the Coon & Human Kite movies in the franchise plan.

Did i miss some?I think i did.

[chunsoftie]

#1 2 3 5 9 11 13 for Fanfic Day Meme unless you don't wanna write that much in which case do what your body tells you

Thanks for the ask! Sorry I didn’t answer this sooner - I was at work when I got this but thank you so much, regardless!

1.  What is your favorite fic you have under your belt? 

My favorite fic would probably have to be either the(broken) road to recovery, my current WIP, or if we’re talking about oneshots,the king to your satellite castle is one I particularly admire. 

I think broken road is a fic that’s opening me up to writingmore multi-chapter works. Obviously, I cater more towards the short-story,oneshot style of writing, so the fact I wanted to embark on something longer ischallenging me to the extent I want to be challenged. I think writing this fichas allowed me to experiment more. 

The latter fic is a oneshot that I found myself proud ofwhen I finished. I really enjoy those Kyle/Cartman stories where it’s the twoof them bonding through mutual means, whether it be by deep, intellectualconversations or just hanging out at a D&B’ and then gazing at the stars. Ifind that I always have to include these heavy conversations between the two ofthem – like if I didn’t, what was the point? Kyle and Cartman are both smartkids, they can learn to adapt to the world themselves, but the idea of themneeding the other as they get older, knowing they can’t survive without theother…that’s really impactful to me. 

I also have to give credit to my compilation of oneshots onFFN, “The Most Random One-Shots You’ll Ever Read.” Basically it’s my Lord ofthe Flies compilation I’ve had published since 2014 and it’s over fiftychapters with over 150k+ words. It’s definitely something I’m proud of.

2. What is your favorite snippet of dialogue?

This is from my Junjou Romantica fic, the jetlags and thecatalysts:

Akihiko was just asconfused. It wasn’t sheer egoism that he was surprised not everyone knew who hewas, but a comfort that he could start scratch with someone. He shot the restof the drink, leaving his glass empty.

“I’m an author – my name is Usami Akihiko.”

“Ah, Usami.” The boy refilled the glass.

There was a brief silence where Akhiko expected the action to bereciprocal. When the boy caught on, he become flustered.

“My name is Takahashi Misaki.”

The feminine name left the writer in bafflement but he went withit. Misaki. He found the bartender start to laugh and he raised an eyebrow.

“It’s funny, your name is Usami. An old friend of mine – well,he was friends with my older brother – we called him usagi because he remindedus of a rabbit.”

“Well, that is what usagi means.” Akihiko took a drink. Misakigave off a comical expression.

“I see that the more you get drunk, the more your sarcasm comesout.”

“And I wasn’t even trying to be sarcastic.” Akihiko replied.

And I love thisfrom the king to your satellite castle”

“I should be pissedthat you assumed I wasn’t busy, but considering you never question yourassumptions, what else is new?” Kyle pulled on his jacket and hopped shotguninto Cartman’s truck, and the brunette just scoffed as he pulled out of thedriveway.

“Nice to see you too, Jew.”

“We’re a little too old for the nicknames, aren’t we?” Kylemuttered, eyeing the black jacket Cartman was wearing over his red shirt andhating himself for finding it hot. “Where are you taking me?”

“We should just let it be a surprise.” Cartman grinned, cominginto an intersection. Kyle rolled his eyes and leaned in, eyebrows narrowed.

“Where are you taking me?”

“We could sneak into a movie.” Cartman commented, a suggestivetone rather than a commanding one that took Kyle by surprise. “Terrance andPhilip’s new movie is out.”

Kyle was tempted, but he had already seen that with Stan and hedidn’t feel like seeing it again. Plus, Cartman would just talk during thewhole movie and Kyle knew he could barely take a few sentences with tolerance.

“You would suggest sneaking into a movie, probably because youdon’t have the money to get in.”

“Hey, I actually have a kickass job, Jewboy. I help society withgood deeds and commercial products.”

“You’re a grocer, Cartman.” Kyle sighed. “All you do is stockshit and put things under a beeper.”

“And what do you do, Kyle? Flaunt your pretty little ass and letyour family pay for all of your shit?” Cartman reached for what Kyle assumedwas a Dr. Pepper in the cupholder and took a drink. Kyle flushed a little atwhat seemed to be a compliment, but he flicked Cartman on the arm.

3. What inspired (broken road)?

In another ask I was told to include Broken Road with this,so that’s what I’m doing.

I actually came up with the idea for Broken Road on a walkback home from studying. I was almost back to my dorm and I thought, ‘You know,if you want more Eric-centric psychological works, why don’t you try writingone, yourself?’ And I was hooked with the potential of a behavior correctionalfacility, so I stuck with it. I ended up going back to the library either thatsame night or the next just to look up research before I started writing thefirst chapter. 

Originally I wanted to just continue writing it and make it along oneshot, but I felt like making it multi-chap was the right thing to do(and honestly I am glad I stuck with it in that regard).

 5. What’s your favorite headcanon you use in your fics?

I don’t really use a lot of headcanons for fics but if I hadto say a repetitive thing when it comes to my fics is when it comes to Kyman, Ilike the more ‘drunken exploration’ trope…a lot more than I care to admit. Myother OTPS, like Jalph, I don’t even care to use this as often just because Ifeel like if two characters could benefit from this, it would be Kyle andCartman.

9. What’s the fic you like the least?

Probably ‘he’s your ride home.’ I kind of wrote that at twoin the morning and thinking of it now, there is so many ways I could havewritten it better. I may go back and edit it just because compared to my otherKyman oneshots, it’s relatively weak.

11. What’s a fanfic idea yo haven’t done yet?

There’s a Stormpilot fic idea I’ve had for a while now thatrevolves around Finn and Poe’s confrontation regarding what they feel towardsone another with the setting of another couple’s wedding and them on the sides,not realizing how this plays with their own lives until they get a littlecarried away and well, yeah. It’s something I’ve been wanting to write for awhile but I just haven’t started yet.

I also would like to write a restaurant!AU Kyle/Cartmanoneshot. I have a few plans for this already so I may go ahead and write thissooner than later.

And, of course, I have another Bellarke piece I want to workon, but that’s going to be for another time.

13. Do you have a favorite character to write for?

I love writing for Cartman. He’s my absolute favoritecharacter to write for and I love it when people request me to write him,because, he’s fantastic. 

I also love writing Ralph. Jack is tied as my favoritecharacter in Lord of the Flies, next to Piggy, but there’s something aboutwriting Ralph that makes it so enjoyable for me, like I can envision hisexpressions in my mind and laugh mentally.

Thank you, @polarspicecaps-blog!

[clydesdonovan]

what ship do you hate the most?

what ship do you hate most?

oh y’all know… y’all already know… cree– 🔫💥

a bonus, non biased answer: I’m not a big fan of cartters :/ I just think Cartman treats Butters SO horribly that I can’t get past it even for the sake of fanon. Sometimes I see art that I think is cute, or they’ll be in the background of a fic and it’s alright, but for the most part… yeah, it’s not for me. Eric is too cruel and abusive to Butters for me to find any enjoyment in there. (Bonus bonus canon answer: Sharon and Randy, mostly bc they seem so goddamn miserable.)