#I hate reading my own writing and am already like ugh do I have to post this

[cinimuffin]

Hey there! Your mothman cross stitch is beautiful, and I was wondering if you would be alright with other people making their own cross stitch patches using your pixel art (for personal use only, of course)?

Thanks! (This might be a smidge rambly) I've actually been planning on making less complicated, more compact versions of the moths so they can fit in smaller spaces (I want a moth hat). Since you've asked, I think I'll post them with the grid on them when they're done so other people can potentially use the patterns more easily (for personal use only, like you said). I had some mixed feelings when I first saw this ask. Then I thought about how fun it would be to maybe see other people enjoying my moths/butterflies. My main goal for making all my pride moths was to make people happy to see their identities represented, so seeing people actually wearing them would be pretty cool. I do ask if any interested parties could wait until I post the new, gridded moths though.

I'm all motivated now and will probably start on resized/new moths and butterflies as soon as I post this. Since there are so many identities out there and I only made so many moths, if anyone has a request for a flag I didn't previously make feel free to hit me up. If I have the time I'll just keep making them.

[hauntedwizardmoment]

Before the beginning for the ask game!! Any story you like in particular!!

yayyyy just gonna make this an excuse to write a quick thing about jace in college. i got kinda carried away fkklsdgdjf

There are so many reasons why Jace shouldn’t be here. 

He has to be up at 8am for Grimoire Development tomorrow. He hates going to Titania’s, it’s the worst bar on the strip of bars that opposes the Arcane Arts Institute’s campus, but it’s the only one that doesn’t have a cover charge. That must be why they’re still in business, because it’s definitely not the atmosphere. 

The live band sucks, the lead singer can’t hold a note, warbling through a cover of some atrocious alt-rock song. He takes a swig from the amber-colored bottle in his hand absentmindedly and chokes on the bitterness. Gods, it’s gross. Not just the beer; the floor is littered with dented plastic cups, his nice new boots sticking to the linoleum with every step. Everyone around him is sweaty and covered in a thin film of grime, the air smells like cigarettes. 

He glances around, finding that his stupid soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend ditched him, like an asshole, even though he’s the one that dragged Jace out here. And now he’s stuck wearing his stupid leather jacket over his stupid band t-shirt alone in a crowd full of people he doesn’t care about impressing. He looks ridiculous, he feels ridiculous, and he wants to leave. 

A Misty Step, and he’s outside, in the alley behind the bar. It’s freezing; he can feel the cold air through the rips in his tight black jeans. He checks the time on his crystal: 1:24 AM. The exhaustion hits him like a ton of bricks, what a waste of a night. 

He’s about to Teleport back to his apartment when the back doors swing open and a tall goliath stumbles outside, falling flat on his ass against the brick wall. 

“Hey, you okay?” Jace asks, offering a hand. 

“‘M good,” the guy slurs, trying to get up and failing. “Swear.” 

He needs to sleep if he wants any chance of being able to make it through his classes tomorrow. He has no idea who this guy is, or if he’s a serial killer, or… 

The goliath heaves, vomiting onto the pavement, head lolling miserably. He’s been there.

“I can Teleport. Where do you live?” 

Large, beautiful brown eyes brimming with tears look up at him. There’s a pause, before the guy says “my keys,” and hands him his keyring, a metal tag on it reading If lost, mail to Dagbert Machtiger, 1290 South Cinderroot Lane, Apartment 306

Jace takes it, grateful to have an associated object as he Teleports them to an apartment that’s moderately less shitty than his own, with a plastic-looking couch and small coffee table in the middle of a tiny living room. The goliath sinks into it, slurring out a “thanks, man,” before he passes out. 

He leaves the keys on the coffee table and lets himself out, checking his crystal. He’s not too far from his place, about a half mile. If he’s quick, and he doesn’t stay up the rest of the night, he can be in bed by 2, then be mostly ready for class tomorrow. 

His crystal rings as he’s taking the stairs down to ground level, and he answers it without thinking. “Hello?”

“Jacey, did you leave already?” His definitely-getting-dumped-tomorrow-boyfriend asks. “You wanna head back to mine? You can stay the night.” 

He knows what that means. He’ll be staying up for another hour, at least, and it won’t even be that good. Ugh, he shouldn’t be fucking around like this.

“You know it,” he says. “Meet you there.” 

He shuts his crystal with a clat and sighs. Tomorrow. He’ll grow a spine and start saying no to these things tomorrow. He swears. 

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

“Okay, but I want to do that again. And again, and again, and again. With you; only you.” Sinister/OFC of your choice, please

Ugh...I honestly have no way to tell if this is any good at all. Please, if you read this and like it, let me know. I'm so blind in my writing block these days, I can't even judge when I've done something right.

Sinister Strange x Beauty Lincoln (OFC)

This...this shouldn't be happening, she was thinking.

Followed by, it's only a dream...it's just a dream...and I'm not really responsible for what happens in my dreams...am I?

But Beauty knew that wasn't quite right. This was a lucid dream; more than that, it was far from her first. Though it had been months and months since those last ones--and this was far more pleasant than those in the past--his lips on hers were like a taste of heaven after going far too long deprived of Stephen's kisses. She had to wonder, am I so lonely and pitiful and desperate that I'd seek out the dark version of the man I love...the polar opposite of the man who once loved me...just to feel desired again?

It takes two to make this dream we're sharing, precious.

She knew she was hearing his thoughts as likely as he heard her own. That was no surprise, and somehow neither was his assertion. You want this as much as I do, Beauty. I've been waiting a long time for you to let down your guard..."

The claim of his sensuous lips on hers only strengthened as he cupped her face in his powerful hands, further weakening her resolve to deny the forbidden connection between them. Inevitably, she allowed him to nudge her own lips to part enough and accept the slide of his tongue against hers. And of course, the flavor that filled her mouth when he did so was not like her Stephen's at all. Exotic, it was, like some dark rum spiked with unfamiliar spices and promises of a decadence she had never known.

How are you even alive? I saw him vanquish you. Her mind flashed back to the deadly flight of the Eldritch Sword, which her Stephen had used to pierce the black heart of that sinister version of himself. The one who had abducted her while she slept, into the Dream Realm as bait to draw her Stephen--whom he hated beyond any other--to his dying universe. That Dark Strange had died, and thus had troubled her dreams no more--so how was it even possible he haunted her dream now with a clarity that felt real?

Did you really think that was enough to kill me for good, sweetling? Your Stephen was either a fool or misled you. Either way, it matters not. All that matters now is this kiss...and what will follow.

What will follow? Cold panic pierced her mind. Wake up! Wake yourself now, her rational mind demanded, wake up before you cross a line too far...

Yet she was whimpering softly in the depths of his kiss, shivering with the heat this dark and wicked doppelganger had kindled in her flesh. A low growl rose from the center of his chest, and she could feel how pleased this sinister mage was with her inability to hide her sudden, terrible longing.

The advantage was all his as Beauty's will to fight off each new advance slowly melted away in the heat growing between them. This Strange kissed her like he already knew her weaknesses; as if he had studied her and understood her secret desires and was determined to satisfy each one. Surely just part of a game meant to steal her away from his nemesis, for his own ultimate satisfaction.

He twined the elegant, scarred fingers of one hand in her hair and slid his other to the center of her back, pulling her flush against him. The muscles beneath his tunic were as firm as she remembered Stephen's were. Tears prickled her eyes as Beauty reckoned how eternally long it had been since he had held her. And this all felt so goddamn good! She couldn't stop her hands from following the familiar pathways she had loved so well. One lay above his heart, with the other palm against the side of his neck. Despite the paleness of his flesh, it was warm enough to surprise her--while his strong pulse confirmed that this had to be more than a dream.

Mine...mine...mine...

That thought was faint, like the whisp of a whisper, as though this eldritch man hadn't meant for her to hear it.

A surge of anger filled her chest. No. I will not be a pawn in your quest for revenge. Her mind repeated it like a mantra until Beauty was able to pull away, out of his arms and out of the ecstasy of his kiss. She ran her hands through her hair, raising her face to Strange’s, practically hissing the words. 'I will not be your pawn!'

Though the most wicked creature she had ever encountered, his smile--Stephen's smile--had nearly the power to weaken her again. But it was his words that broke through the haze of her ire. 'Oh, sweetling. This has nothing to do with revenge.' Strange took a tentative step forward while Beauty held her ground. 'But I recognize your lonely heart because mine is more lonely than most people could ever fathom. Is it impossible for you to accept that I've been trying to reach you because I'm wanting you for you? For the lovely light of your soul that has called to me like a beacon. Like a promise of just a bit of redemption after the crimes that have stained not just my fingertips but my very soul black.'

Beauty lowered her gaze, fixing her sight on this Stephen's tremoring hands. In truth, she neither felt nor heard any trace of deceit in his confession. She was remembering her Stephen in their beginning days. How skittish he had been and how patient she had had to be. Offering him friendship in lieu of the far deeper love she had longed to lavish upon him. Would it be wicked of her to show this Stephen at least a little kindness? Especially as he was so alone in his reality, and she so lonely in hers?

'We'd have to set some ground rules,' she told him softly, reasonably. 'You can't just barge into my dreams when you feel like it, and you certainly have to honor whatever boundaries I set...' He was nodding his compliance, wearing that irresistible Stephen smirk, and his eyes, a deeper, richer blue than in her reality, seemed focused on her mouth. And somehow, she felt her lips tingle pleasantly with the rich memory of when their lips first met.

Okay, but I want to do that again. And again, and again, and again. With you; only you.That thought came through clear as day!

Beauty gave a little shrug, quietly pleased by his insistance, but determined that he'd have to prove himself before she granted him a single kiss more. 'Now, I have an early meeting tomorrow, so I really do need a full night's rest. And the next time you visit my dreams, we'll be spending the time together platonically. Does that work for you...Stephen?"

Sufficently chastened, Strange gave a courtly sort of bow, and then with a flourish, conjured a single, long-stem pink rose and handed it to Beauty. With that, he dissolved into a purple mist, his last words like an echo that followed her into a deep, contented sleep. Sweet dreams, Beauty, dear. As sweet as the kisses I will win from you someday soon.

kissing prompts

tagging: @strangelock221 @strangelockd

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (10) 

@tastetherainbow290

chapter 20

i’m scared for this chapter

my death predictions are vanity, peter, irene, and one of the death eaters (i can’t remember their names) (please let me be wrong please let me be wrong)

i’m only reading this one for now bc it’s “quick” according to the author

sirius pov! ok that’s good

ugh slughorn. die.

oh no the death eaters found peter

peter noooo omg. do not die right now.

they’re just. beating him to death. 

WHY DOES PETER ALWAYS BETRAY THEM IN EVERY FIC

james pov ahhhh dramatic irony

VANITY NO

and there goes willa

VESPA NO you will be missed

hodge no not vanity please

poor james oh my gosh

no vanity vanity no why no

tears

ok i need to be somewhere in 20 minutes this is horrible timing but i have to stop reading now

guys im back. it’s been like an hour i am not ready

“She never got her first kiss. She never got to fall in love. She never got to go home. Her prince never saved her. Her prince killed her. Her prince is dead.” SOBBING

why would you write this. i’m so serious rn WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THIS

peter saving regulus ❤️

IRENE NO

why would you write this. 

ugh poor mathias. they didn’t mean to 💔

irene no what are you doing

MATHIAS TOO NO

JAMES NO what’s gonna happen i’m scared

i know james isn’t dead but regulus doesn’t and no one can tell him james is still alive ugh poor regulus 

sirius pov

yes sirius send regulus a secret message

rip juniper 💔 i know i would’ve been sad if we saw more of her

every time the death count shows at the end of the chapter i get so sad when i see evan’s name

chapter 21

maybe this one is happier?

ugh i hate slughorn

the two victor thing this is just like the hunger games (every time i say smth like this it’s like… yeah… that’s the whole point 😭)

sirius you’re so smart i love you

dorlene yay!! i love them even tho this is SAD

dorcas running FOUR MILES to see marlene 

i love them.

dorcassss tell her about the orderrrrr

“you’re a good friend” ❤️‍🩹

remus pov switch

regulus putting everything in the river ok

he’s keeping his own stuff that’s good

is regulus going to LEAP ACROSS THE RIVER

okay he didn’t. good.

run regulus run go find james

“It reminds Remus vaguely of dogs getting the zoomies” 😭

i lowkey forgot to be writing my thoughts down

“fancy a trip to space” sirius 😭

hanky panky time

MOON

AHHHHHHHH

why are they stopping 😯

oh poor sirius ☹️ ugh i just feel so bad for him like. the way the hallow treated him was so unfair 

chapter 22

james pov!

james 💔

“happy birthday hodge” TEARS

eeee regulus is going to find james

james talking to regulus in his head

“regulus never fails to look up” 😭😭😭😭😭😭

poor james just out here suffering

james getting high off anesthesia 😭

come on regulus you can do it go find james

HE FOUND HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

james thinking regulus was sirius ☹️

regulus just going with it

the james pov of this 💔

not him trying to sell sirius about regulus’ “parting gift” 😭 i hope he does get to tell him eventually

he’s realizing

“you came and found me” “of course i did” AHHHHH

kiss kiss kiss

ok they’re hugging i love them

this is so sad but reunion!!!

sirius pov

joffery?! what is your offer

chapter 23

regulus telling james abt irene ☹️

why is this sad

they’re flirting

ope nevermind flirting over

regulus holding james ❤️‍🩹

i bet the audience is eating this up. which is kind of really sad. like. they’re having a moment and everyone’s just. watching.

SOUP 

they’re literally katniss and peeta in that one scene

“thank him” im just as confused as you are regulus

regulus feeding james (this is giving me the ick lowkey)

them talking about their relationship i hate that regulus is only doing this for the games

ugh i hate that james is being so james right now like. i want them to do this in peace and privacy and without the context of the games

“I used to collect brown rocks if they reminded me of your eyes” if someone did that for me i would cry

regulus telling james he was his first love

KISS ALREADY

i feel bad rn bc im like. the audience. intruding on their private moment. i know this is purely fiction but still. 

😯 they kissed

a sad kiss but a kiss nonetheless 

they’re kissing for real now eeeee

“That was one of the happiest moments of my life” ☹️☹️☹️

“now James knows that Regulus would kiss him in the pursuit of saving his life, if there literally was no other option” i am so sorry james

“peter wouldn’t betray me like that”

the tension rn (and not in a good way)

my sister is watching my favorite episode (s2 e13) of regular show rn im getting so distracted this is going to be my last chapter

“You can't protect me from this, because I'm already here” 💔

why is this SO SAD

“If there's one thing all of this has taught me it's that I've always cared” 

the end notes: “everyone: WHEN WILL THEY KISS??? me: be careful what you wish for” this feels targeted

[lukewarmsoapytoast]

UGH the URGE to just spam this acc with angst writing is INSANE. Sadly, I haven’t written a full-length read in a while, I’ve had college classes in the mornings and I get busy in the afternoons. So, my point is, HERE’S SOME QUOTES I CAME UP WITH OR WANT TO USE‼️‼️

Please only reuse w/ credit!

Most of these taken from irl because it was funny 😭

LET ME KNOW YOUR OPINIONS AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT QUOTES AND SUCH IN!!!

Quotes

•

"Of course you do, and you’re going to regret those bad decisions in the morning when you’re sober."

“What morning?”

•

“You ignore my requests like they’re food allergies at a foreign restaurant and you wonder why I wanna hang out with girls more.”

•

“I wish I could love you, too.”

•

“It’s because I’m in love with you.”

“Because you wha—oh my god, it all makes sense now.”

•

"Alright, alright, I’ll tell you. But you can't laugh, okay? Promise me you’ll listen without judgment."

“I mean unless you say that you managed to kill a god, I won’t laugh.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

•

“My love…You— You know there isn’t any recovering from this, the medics won’t arrive in time, I-I’ll die. I deserve to be made fun of for being that stupid, but I don’t regret my choice…saving you was my goal overall in life, my purpose, and I succeeded..I can die happy, but you need to let me go, first.”

•

“And how am I supposed to believe you, huh? You wanna bring that fucking whore in to confirm that you still love me? That you regret fucking her over and over, and over, repeatedly, on our own damn bed??”

“[First Name], I—”

“It’s [Last Name] now, that’s what you’ll be referring to me as. No more pet names, no more first name. Goodbye, find somebody else to manipulate.”

•

“Dude, you literally shot me.”

“I was beat as a child, do you hate me, do you want me dead, I know you do, I understand—”

•

“I have a penis and it isn’t mine. ☺️”

“Uhh, what?”

“You heard me.”

“Where r u rn??”

“I’m w ur mom”

“Bruh”

“The party you told me not to go to.”

“Omw.”

•

“If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”

“😈”

“Uh oh? Please tell me you haven’t written an essay about this already and I happened to send that around the time you finished it.”

“I think I'd have the ability to persuade people. It's nothing special but imagine how much success you could end up having and also how many people you could befriend. I like having friends. ALSO you can stop any wars with just a "Stop pretty pls 🥺👉👈" like it's the best superpower. You could save the world with it basically, screw pollution”

“Dear god, keep going. I’m interested.”

“People who wanna fly are confusing, like, go skydiving or something like that, pull a hiccup from HTTYD. And why obtain invisibility when you can just tell people you aren’t there?”

“Wait, you’ve got a point.”

“Somebody asking why we’re stalking them? Hit them with the ‘NUH UH! I’M NOT EVEN HERE, BABY! I’M A HALLUCINATION!’. That’ll win.”

“Oh my god you’re onto something.”

“Someone trying to end the world? Nope. ‘Pretty pls be a good person 🥺’ them.”

“How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Since you asked.”

“YOU THOUGHT THAT UP THAT QUICKLY???”

•

"What if he thinks I'm being dense?"

"Then he'll stop liking you. Problem solved."

Ideas

•

When they're constantly assuring as they lay dying, "I'm fine, I'll be okay, don't worry about me, l'll live." But their final words, whispered, barely audible,

"I don't want to die."

•

“I’ll be there for you”, “I’m sorry”, “I love you”, over and over again. “don’t hurt yourself”, “We need a break”, “I need you”, All of this, but you never mean it. Never. Not when I need you, your mistakes are a record on loop, your love is as present as my father. You don’t care if I hurt myself, especially because you hurt me. Can this break last forever? You need me to do as you say, you don’t need me there.

•

If HS!Gojo had a crush he’d confess like this:

(Texting)

“Let’s go on a date, do you like sex? Lol. <3”

•

Chr picks up a completely dry and closed jar of salsa.

“Salsaaaa…”

Something drips on their toe.

“Is…Is it wet?”

Frantically checking the jar for water droplets or cracks. Nothing.

“Excuse me???”

Confused.

“WHY???”

Concerned.

•

Father telling small adopted demon child to stay behind while they search for a plushie.

"Perhaps you should stay here, honey. This is no place for a child anyways. I'm sure we don't want you getting kidnapped by some kind of murderer, do we?"

"👹" Foaming at the mouth.

"Dear god, what have I done?"

•

Two characters arguing in a group chat over who’s hotter and it turns into an argument over who would be a better boyfriend to you. This is how you make your grand entrance.

“What did I just stumble upon at this very unfortunate hour. I wish to die.”

[kim-ruzek]

It pisses me off that people are mad at Matt because he went to see the young girl for Sylvie and saying Matt didn't do enough for Gabby. Even making it personal saying they're glad Monica stayed away.

One, Monica left the show. It was her decision. I'm sorry if you're mad that your ship didn't end up how you wanted but you have to understand it was because of the decision of the actor, this storyline happened because she left.

Secondly, Matt is at a different point in his life. He probably wasn't ready then but he's ready now. He was also there for Gabby in every way he could and loved her so much that he didn't want to see her die. She was the one who didn't want an adoption.

With Sylvie, she welcomes the help that anyone wants to provide.

I don't see how that fandom can differentiate that Matt loved/loves these two women differently and that he is going to support them anyway he can.

I really need to stay away from the bird app or else my blood pressure is going to go through the roof with some of these takes I'm reading.

LITERALLY it is so fucking maddening to see!

It already just drives me mad when people don't ever seem to respect the fact that these actors leave, because they wanted to, so it's to be expected that the end of that storyline will be a little shit. Like you can forever be sad d*wsey isn't canonically together anymore and that Matt moved on, because if d*wsey is The Ship for you that is sad but at the end of the day, the actress wanted out and the show continued.

I also hate the argument that he didn't do enough for Gabby... Because he did. He did so so much. She was the problem, she didn't want the help he gave her. That's fine, in some ways I get that attitude and it's fine to see it that way, but lord you cannot say he didn't try.

And it's not like Brettsey was rushed. It's been built up. It's been shown again and again that they love each other, how that is shown. And they've grown together. Also Matt has seen the whole development of this arc really, from helping Sylvie with Julia and then Amelia and all that and to now the decision to adopt baby Julia, he's the most qualified to speak on the matter honestly because he's seen all that.

I would generally recommend staying away from twitter atm at least. I am currently too lol. My blood pressure definitely couldn't handle it.

I'm just so fucking done with all the people who one) keep dragging Monica into this, like damn the woman left l can guarantee you the only thoughts she has is pride for her former co workers and two) people just needlessly hating on brettsey.

Idk if it's because I'm also having to deal with the same sort of idiocy when it comes to u*stead stans on twitter (which already is laughable to me bc the stans tend to be the same people as the d*wsey stans) so I'm already pretty damn tired of people not getting things and mixing up not personally liking a storyline direction Vs bad writing.

It's also tiring to see the hypocrisy (like adoption is Valid when d*wsey does it but not Sylvie or that Sigan is a brilliant writer/show runner until upstead has to be broken down because the actor left of his own choice 🙄) and like. Just ship and let ship. And if the show choices upset you... You don't need to watch. That's fine. But attacking other ships is just not on.

Ugh I'll stop now before this turns into a full on rant. I could bitch for days about d*wsey stans but especially as you only sent the ask about brettsey I should stop because I'll just also rant about u*stead and idk how you feel about them lol.

Thank you for asking!! 💖

[nyx-the-misthios]

Something I've kinde been wanting to do for a little while is to make a post about one of my favorite comfort characters: Namikaze Minato. So I'm gonna do that lol.

Now, Minato's story is a tragic one. And I'm not just referring to his life. It is a well-known fact that Kishimoto can't write a female character to save his life. However, it isn't just the women of Naruto who have also been poorly written. A fair number of male characters have also fallen victim (no, I am not a man, I'm an afab non-binary), and Minato is one such character.

Let's start with the discourse surrounding his teaching as a Jounin sensei. First of all, that was his first time teaching. You'd be pretty hard pressed to find *any* first-time teacher that doesn't make a boat load of mistakes. Mistakes are human nature, after all. Secondly, he was also kind of set up for failure. Heavily traumatized young child soldier, who is the last of his clan? A blacksheep whose training has been neglected? A civilian girl who ends up being reduced into a damsel in distress (Kishimoto...)? Sound familiar? Kakashi, Obito, Rin > Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura...

The dude was set up for failure, and he didn't have the luxury of peace time when he was training them. Minato was still constantly getting pulled away due to being one of the few Jounin that could effectively defend Konoha's frontlines, so that also severely affected his ability to train his students.

Quick little disclaimer that I couldn't really find much in regards to what that time period is like because who needs a consistent backstory/timeline, am I right? Ugh, anyway. Please take this with a grain of salt.

Secondly, and this is where I see Minato getting a *lot* of hate for. His Hokage reign.

Minato probably holds the record for the shortest reign in the history of Konoha (no, I will not include Danzo. He doesn't count) Minato was Hokage for how long? 10 months to a year and a half roughly. That is incredibly short. Dude probably had several projects he was working on, only for them to collapse entirely upon his death. He likely was actively working with Kushina, who had also been wanting to be Hokage (but got passed over for some reason) on several things to help improve the village and make it more habitable for everyone (especially children) but the night of Naruto's birth is when everything came crashing down and Konoha was under the brink of total genocide by one of their own.

We don't know exactly the circumstances in regards to Kushina's health, but I have strong suspicion that when Kurama was forcibly ripped out of Kushina *just after going through what is the hardest thing any woman could go through* aka childbirth. She was already in the process of dying, and she would have needed intensive medical treatment in order to not eventually pass away due to the extensive trauma her body went through. And Kurama *has* to be sealed within a Uzumaki or a specially prepared object.

The only Uzumaki that even had a chance of survival was poor Naruto, and I just know that Minato was likely beating himself up for it. Yes, Minato knew how Jinchuuriki were treated (he married one after all), but I believe his last words of hoping that his son would he seen as a hero instead of being ostracized was mainly because he'd hoped that it would be explained in such a way to properly paint Naruto as a savior. But the information got leaked and warped to paint Naruto as a demon instead. It is truly tragic that a character with such hopeful promise was poorly executed and was doomed from the beginning.

I hope that anyone who reads this can at least be a bit kinder to characters like Minato who were doomed from the beginning. If you still hate him, oh well.

[the-vibes-are-off]

The Stormlight Archive Volume 1: The Way of Kings’ Review: Chapters 5-8

link to contents page - https://at.tumblr.com/the-vibes-are-off/hey-hey/96xd9ohihrzs

Right, well, you know how I said in my previous post that my COVID test was negative? Yeah so I was swiftly clowned and I am now SICK right on essay season. I have dug out crusty dusty old HP Pavilion to do work but I’m essentially only using it for Tumblr so. My partner is officially in another country now (I know you’re going to read this so pls come back I am dying) so I cant even be babied 24/7 due to the time difference. On season 4 of Criminal Minds already tho so ....

In terms of reading, I am officially back and LOVING it. I am limiting myself to 4 chapters in one setting because that’s how much I want my review sections to cover and writing this takes longer than I thought it would tbh. Lets get to it! 

Spoiler Free Zone:

The split narrative is like definitely managing my problems with maintaining my attention. I will say that since Kaladin’s story line, although definitely interesting don’t get me wrong, would probably get boring if it was all I was reading. I’m more a magic and lore and pretty women fantasy enjoyer than a grr fight fantasy enjoyer since my like gritty lit enjoyment comes from different genres.

Loving the direction that Shallan’s plot line is going in, I’m glad Brandon doesn’t just give the characters what they want straight away and there is at least the illusion that they’re working for something even though its obvious they’ll achieve it eventually.

Mostly, I’m just loving the characters they’re introducing in Shallan’s story, maybe not so much SOME people (a certain person specifically I dislike is beginning, BEGINNING to grow on me) as they’re just so lovely and cute and nice and ugh we love to see it.

*** SPOILERS INCOMING ***

Spoiler Zone:

I’m saying it now, I did initially think Jasnah was just a bitch tbh like I get she’s all important and up her own ass or whatever but she doesn’t appreciate art??? I get Shallan like couldnt just get what she wanted but like .... come on. I was so mad when she just started shouting n shit when Shallan was waiting in the alcove like get a grip pls. However.... turning a boulder to smoke? I had to tab that as cool, like that was just a smart idea to clear it and a cool fckn power to have 

Shallan wanting to steal tho? I love her, a true icon as she should steal from the bitch. I literally just tabbed it love this bc ? Slay like what else could I do. I’d steal it too 

aaaaaaaaand then were back to Kaladin actually just getting fucking shit on at every turn yet again. mf has to carry a bridge?? and then get shot at with arrows?? my goodness give this man a break 

The spren getting a name tho like Syl is acc like carrying Kaladin’s arc for me I want to know what is going on there I am trying so hard not to spoil it for myself

From an arts and humanities student standpoint, I did tab Shallan describing how she views her art and the process of creation as like fleshy and human. Like in both studying and writing poetry I relate to capturing a person or a place or a moment on paper 

And then 2 cuties that I simply had to draw attention to in Brother Kabsal and Yalb. They are iconic and I adore them the end :*

Tab Count:

Cute: 2

Fights: 1

Sad: 1 

Death: 0

Cool: 0 

Wtf wow: 1

Wtf why: 0 

Slay Quotes: 0 

Love this: 2

Hate this: 0

Tab Total:

Cute: 3

Fights: 4

Sad: 1

Death: 2

Cool: 4

Wtf wow: 2

Wtf why: 1

Slay Quotes: 3

Love this: 5

Hate this: 1

PS: If anyone actually reads this far down comment (or post me if you’re feeling generous) your fave tea to drink when you’re sick because I’m going through maybe 10 cups a day and I am swiftly running out....

[carmenized-onions]

Yap sheet live and in color pt 2!! Um ily this is so fun im actually having such a good week and the fact that U updated also just makes it even better 🫶🫶🫶 also i think to maybe see if it doesn't make the ask so super long on like feeds imma try this with no spaces between maybe idk

1.) This is literally from the tags i haven't even started reading, but hurt,,, some comfort??? UGH okay off i go

2.) WAIT THE OTHER SHOE THING IS SO FUCKING BRILLIANT ONION WTF

3.) Lowk forgot i was doing this for a sec bc im waiting for water to boil cause im making dinner rn BUT OH BOY DID THIS BRING IT BACK FOR ME

CARMY CALLING RICHIE A DEAD BEAT MAN ILL BEAT UP THAT LITTLE RAT BOY i love him so much it hurts but ill kick his ass fr like just bc ur hurting doesnt mean u make everyone else hurt (even tho thats how he was raised :< anyways thats 1 L for carm major L

4.) YEAHH RICH FUCKING SPEAK ON IT SPEAK ON ITTTT oh uh oh not tony catching strays rip us. Double uh oh coming from carmy. Also carmy thats another L don't do richie like that :<

5.) I fucking love you :< AND THEN FOR HIM TO SAY RICHIE IS NOTHING LIKE FUCK RIGHT AWF L MAJOR L

6.) Yk what this chapter is going to be endless Ls for carm i can already tell but :< the whole oh are you gonna fix him too?? Like I can just feel and see like the hurt radiating off of him thru the screen like he's clearly so affected by all the stuff he saw but :< thats still not an excuse CARMEN

7.)The fact that Tony feels like she needs to prove herself, that she can take it, makes me very :<

8.) Also like I'm intrigued bc it almost feels like more than Tony just not charging them for the services out of like the goodness of her own heart or guilt over not being there for mikey like i originally thought like theres something else going on there i am ✨️confused✨️

9.) Noooo not Tony thinking she did something wrong :<<<

10.) i fear im going to jump off a bridge at this rate bc WAAAAAAA carmy is obviously so upset and he CLEARLY doesnt know how to handle that he IS SO ME

11.) MAJOR L MAJOR L

carmy im coming for you count your days that was so uncalled for Carmen what the FUCK onion im coming for u bc I just know I would be sobbing on the floor if carmen said that to me like especially bc Tony very obviously blames herself already :<

12.) Okay my noodles are done so BUT im mildly confused is all this carmy pov happening right after he yelled actually i just glanced back and yes it is and i will say i am glad carmy is at least A LITTLE self aware and that he's completely off the rails anyway

13.) :< i want my comfort neow right neow onion this is making me so sad (im on like point 7) also verbal confirmation that tony is crying like this isnt even a carmy specific L this is just an L

14.) Carmy just major self loathing makes me sad like yes he did this to himself but also like this is just the only way hes ever been shown how to express himself and ugh this better end with him going to therapy (i know it wont)

15.) Um so i read all of tonys thing just now i think uh anyway im gonna kms now tony thinks he hates her :< i really want my comfort now

16.) I know carmy doesnt deserve comfort but also i think he does a little is that too much to ask for

17.) Also the whole heart to heart with Richie makes me so :< i dont have a lot of coherent notes to write except for :< like im very :< right now

18.) Also i LOVE that tony is going to go to the fucking eras tour with richie and eva i LOVE that anyway um ACK ACK ACK

19.) ALSO ALSO ALSO like UGHHHH richie telling tony its not her fault mikey died and them commiserating is so fucking AGH

20.) STOP THE BANTER wait pause

21.) firstly um tony STILL looking out for carmy warms my heart thats fucking cold bc u KILLED ME anyway

22.) Right. UGHHHHH the banter has me just a touch :> bc like syd and tony dogging on richie is so :>. But overall im still :<.

23.) Stop not mikey thinking that tony and carmy would be a good match :< also like i feel like that *kinda* confirms that tony and mikey didnt have a thing bc why tf would he say that if they ever did but anyway

ONION TONY AND CARMY BETTER FUCKING TALK IN THE NEXT ONE IM SO FUCKING SERIOUS

As always i adore you and your writing even if i almost sobbed reading this one there were actual tears in my eyes and i never ever ever cry reading stuff or consuming media so fuck you so hard for that one

🫶🫶🫶 till next time pookie

LETS. GET. INTO ITTT.. Yap Sheet from Just Dropped, I'm excited to hear your thoughts on Something to Do!! Unless you already did-- And I'm just real fuckin slow to churn through my inbox.

THE NO SPACES SEEMED TO HAVE WORKED??? I hope that was easy for you, on your end-- If it's not, simply destroy people's pages it's fine we ball.

I did the.... some comfort because I was like... It does definitely hurt-- Comfort wise, it's definitely there, but you just don't really get it from the person you want it from, yknow?

AND THANK YOU-- I was very happy, when I realized the silly other shoe bit I could do. fun hat trick on my part.

DEAD BEAT BROOOO-- I can't remember if I added that or if it was in the original dialogue. I think I added it? I remember needing a transition line, to get into it-- It was like the Carmen equivalent of Richie's okay donna-- WOOF

I'll just do one point, for the Richie side of the fight, as I the writer don't have much to say about it but yeah it was-- Shit was brutal. It was very interesting to look at the freezer fight again with the perspective of Tony in mind and going,,,, huh,,,, they could both be talking to her, in this. The You're Nothing really also-- I wonder if Carmen will ever actually say that to someone, in canon. I don't think he could. But also they might just be saving it for the biggest explosion.

Writing Carmen's dialogue for this was very tough and interesting, for me-- Because like-- With the information he had, I kinda got it. Like yes 100% self-destructive tendencies but also I think I could sympathize with like, essentially him thinking he was basically some sort of manic pixie to be fixed by Tony. He was wrong, but like-- I get the concern. He shoulda voiced it better but I get him.

YEAAHHHH, YEAAHHHH Tony before this chapter for the most part I think only displayed the good/quirky parts about being the anxious helpful hero type, and this chapter and onward I think really got into the genuinely self-destructive behaviours of her thinking she needs to be able to take shit.

There was in fact, something going on there. With the invoice. LMAO. Tony's nice but she understands the power of a dollar

The repeated 'did i do something wrong' across multiple chapters-- Fuckin, in anything 'did i do something wrong' will always fucking get my ass. Like it's just so. It's. I'm, I'm fuckin sweatin just thinking about it. It always hurts.

CARMEN MAJOR L MOMENT ABSOLUTE L.

It's funny that while writing that line, I had always planned for that line to be like, the spinebreaker but I was worried, when I had actually put it to paper, that readers were somehow not gonna think it was that bad. I'm glad everyone thought it was horrifically bad. He fucked up there.

I won't comment much on Carmen's POV because there's some surprises I have in stock, for you, with that-- But I do agree. I think Carmen is typically slow to realize he fucked it-- But when it's something like that and everyone has a volatile reaction-- He's gonna know immediately that it's over.

Here's the thing, I can't show you any lines from the next chapter, because literally every single line is a spoiler for what the chapter is. but I've realized actually I can show you an old draft-- This was from the original list of the seven things.

I took this out, inevitably, but I did really like the idea of like... Realizing that this moment isn't just a now fuck up, it's a forever fuck up.

14. both of those fuckers went right on the self-loathing train. What could we expect from them? Choo choo, mf.

16. I hate to tell you this. He's gonna have a terrible time. I'm not letting that motherfucker catch a break. You'll see what I mean, in time.

17. WHY'S THE HEART TO HEART MAKE YOU FROWN--- I mean I get it but like BITTERSWEET RIGHT? RIGHT? ANYONE?? IS THIS THING ON?? Do you think the writers knew when they wrote season 2 and Richie getting Swift tickets they knew those things were gonna be like 3000 dollars a pop. I feel like they didn't. I like to go back and read this bit, from time to time. I just really like Richie and Chip. Am I a Rich/Chip believer? Honestly. A little bit I think. I have a wandering eye. I think.

21. Tony will always look out for Carm. It's so lame. get UP girl be PETTY-- HAUNT HIS ASS!!! DO A HAUNT!!!!

23. I love that you say kinda. I love that know one trusts me with a slight confirmation. I have poisoned the water mistrust and I love that.

I'M HONOURED TO GET YA MISTY-- MEANS A LOT, I hope you enjoy/enjoyed the next one. Love you fuck you sorry not sorry at all my bad your fault hugs and kisses THANK YOU BYYYYEE

[ashtraythief]

Also, I was always curious. If Jensen Campbell was a real person (meaning if Jensen was telling the truth and was a thief the entire time), do you think he would have stayed with Jared after the bumpy start of their relationship or taken off and ran? I’m imagining the stealing art from Jared was real and not something he did as a fan-in-love-with-me ploy. Thank you!

So I answered this question years ago for another anon, but I can't be bothered to find that tumblr post. Thankfully I've kept all my longer tumblr answers in a doc titled AUs and Dark Timelines, so I'll very lazily copy paste what I wrote then (which is still true). So if this is familiar to anyone, yes, you've seen this before 😅

ramblings under the cut

As for your question, I’m not gonna lie, I’ve thought about it. I’ve had conversations about it with one of my friends who alpha reads the underneath verse for me. And maybe one day, I’ll write a few scenes from it. They'd obviously still fall in love and Jensen still comes back to him. What it comes down to, I think, is that it would actually be much fluffier and much less angstier :D But the plot wouldn’t really change. Campbell would detest dating a mob boss, for exactly the reasons Jensen pretended kept him away in the beginning. I think one of the more fundamental changes would be that Campbell would be less secretive. Like, he wouldn’t try so hard to keep his real name a secret for example. He’d be, at some point at least, more open about his past. Campbell would also be harder. If he had the backstory I gave him and be a real career criminal, always on his own with absolutely no safety net, then he’d be harder than Jensen. Maybe a little more okay with what Jared does morally speaking. He would still consider mob stuff to be pedestrian but a necessity. So there’d be less conflict about Jared’s work, but there would be more conflict about Jensen’s work. Because as a real thief, Campbell would have a stronger drive to keep on stealing, pull the more high profile heists, putting himself in more danger. Jared thinks it’s hot, yeah, and he would of course keep bailing Jensen out, but when Jensen goes to Europe for three weeks, Jared is not amused. But Jensen would care much more about both the fulfillment of his work and his reputation. I also think that he probably wouldn’t have proposed. Jensen’s proposal came out very much for the state he was in at that moment, with the whole needing Jared to know it's a real thing and I don’t think Campbell would go there. Which would lead to a whole different kind of continuous friction between them. Which eventually, after years of being together, would result in one big fight, in which there’d be a lot of screaming about trust and a foot out the door and control freak tendencies and Campbell would eventually exasperatedly ask Jared what the fuck he wanted from him and Jared would tell him that he needed Jensen to be his. “I already am,” Campbell would say. “In every way that counts. What else do you need?” And Jared would say, “I need you to say it. Publicly. In front of witnesses. I need you to marry me.” And Campbell would roll his eyes and tell Jared that he’s a fucking idiot who needs to learn that he can’t control everything in the world, but, “ugh, fine, but I’m not wearing a white suite, you asshole.” And that’d be that.

Jensen would also absolutely adopt a cat. Jared would hate it. Harley would be scared of it, Sadie would form a tentative truce with it. Jared would try to ban it from the bedroom, but Jensen would undermine him as soon as Jared leaves the room in the morning, so really, it’s a lost cause. Honestly, I would just write all the scenes about Jensen’s cat—which he’d call Paw Gogh of course—so maybe it’s a good thing that I didn’t write the fic of Campbell the art thief :D

Thanks for your question ❤️

[mochizz]

Im just going to ramble until next week because I have found the courage to do so…

——————————————————————————

Basically I love a lot of medias such as Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Osmosis Jones, MHA, Superjail, Smiling Friends, and sooooo on. I love all of these and I recently found out about something, this is going to lean more onto the AS side of my interests because I enjoy a lot of Adult Swim shows, can I name them? Hell yeah, Superjail, Smiling Friends, Moral Orel, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Ballmastrz: 9009 (I think that’s how you write it), and a few more I can’t really name at the top of my head right now but I know there’s a few more. But like all of these Adult Swim shows I’ve either seen as a kid once or twice, or one’s I’ve found over the span of these last few years, Smiling Friends is sort of new in a way still compared to the rest, but the other ones like Superjail I discovered on my own actually last year, and I found Ballmastrz along with it too since I think they share like the same creator or SOMETHING, they share something but ugh man I just absolutely love these shows they can have my entire heart right there and then, I remember as a kid always finishing Cartoon Network and then watching whatever was on Adult Swim at the time, usually it was more Dragon Ball than anything but it was still so fun and cool. Sighhh only to go back to those good times man…

Well anyways moving forward to my other interests non Adult Swim related, I’ve seen Brooklyn Nine-Nine over the years, with like audios and stuff because it was still pretty known for years but I only ever found the courage and curiosity to watch it now, which I should’ve done years before but I guess that’s how I am. Like Brooklyn Nine-Nine might just beat ROTTMNT’s level of comfort that it gave me, like yes I do have comfort shows and now that comfort show is Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I even got the song that’s at the very top FROM Brooklyn Nine-Nine, like I literally would beg you to watch it, highly recommend I am pretty sure you’ll love it TRUSSTTTTT it is quite literally for anybody, the humor isn’t just for one, it’s for many, and the characters they play feel so realistic, it feels like a real precinct with actual real silly detectives and cops, but they’re just acting ☹️ UGH I could go on and on with my ramblings but now I gotta stop because unfortunately for me I have school to attend to (almost close to summer now!1!!1!1!1 I need it to happen now already pls I hate school) WELL YEAH if you read this entire thing then damn, highly respect you and love you teehee well yeah I’m done now, I dont think I’ll do tags since this is not really important at all, just random rambling 😣 BYEYEEYYE

[hopefulfuturenovelauthor]

Psyche

Cameron Mahkent/Icicle jr x reader (not particularly romantic)

I made this old of a quote generator really late at night. The quote was “You think I'm being paranoid but the truth is I'm worth a lot more to her dead than alive.”

I did not read this through so probable grammar mistakes and as always please do not copy my work, thanks! also may write a part two, but let me know if that interests you or not, bye!

aprox 1,000 words

warnings: knocked unconscious, chained, captured/kidnapped, I think that is it.

—————

“You think I'm being paranoid but the truth is I'm worth a lot more to her dead than alive,” you called out to the group of villains leaving you behind.

“Not you,” Psimon said, pushing back the ice villain and shutting the door.

The frosty metahuman huffed and crossed his arms with a pout on his face. The chains shackling you would typically be useless in holding you back, but the meta-blocking handcuffs were keeping your abilities at bay. 

“Did you not hear me? I said-”

“We know what you said, toots. Something about paranoia yada yada and death. We just don’t care,” the smirk on his face was sinister, but the emotion didn’t reach his eyes.

“Please, she will destroy everything. She can control the minds of men, you recognize that that includes you right?” you tried to reason with him.

“Just shut up already. Nobody here cares. Come on, babe, just sit pretty and stop complaining.”

“You will regret this. Do you have any idea who I am? This will mean war-” the air thicken as the crystalline ice flew past your head and into the wall behind you, strong enough to stick into the stone instead of shattering.

“I said shut up,” his annoyance was what you needed.

“Never in a million years,” you challenged.

“Ugh, do you ever just listen,” he flung another icicle your way, aiming just beneath the one he had previously thrown.

You moved slightly, jousting the chains enough to move your hands in front of the projectile. The icicle went straight through the middle of the cuffs, which immediately released your hands. The scrape of the metal against your skin hurt, but the slight blood from the trick was entirely worth it.

The chains around you no longer clutched to your body and instead, encompassed his figure. He lifted his hands to freeze the chains but you held out your own hands and kept him in place.

“What the hell?!” he shook trying to remove the chains unable to use his cyrokinises. You stood up from your place and walked past him to check the door. Peeking your head out you stared into the empty hallway. You closed the door again and moved to stand in front of the temporarily contained criminal.

“Hi there,” you smiled brightly at the man-boy in front of you, “I won’t waste time with all of my names and titles, but I desperately need to get out of this country, so all you need to know is that the League of Assassins, Lex Luther, Slade, and, including, but not limited to, Batman. Yes the Batman, will be looking for me. So I require some sort of radio or communicator, which I assume you have something like that, and if you don’t I know for certain you know who in your group would have access to one.”

“You think this can hold me?” he asked. With a chuckle you held up your hand and squeezed it, tightening the chains.

“Look, I don’t have to play nice. It’s just better for you if you cooperate. I’d hate to ruin that pretty little brain of yours,” you tapped his head.

“You think my brain is pretty?” he cooed.

“It looks fine, as nice as any other. But it would look better splattered against the floor with the rest of your body on the opposite side of the room,” you smiled.

“Uh- huh, uh yeah, yeah, last I checked Psimon um has a radio or something like that. I think,” he stuttered, trying to briskly wriggle free.

“Oh, sweetheart, nothing you do in here is going to help you with that,” you cradled his head in your hands, “see you in the real world, Cameron.”

Everything shifted. The chains that had once seemed to surround you both at some point were pushed aside. Cameron had no time to adjust to the changes before you hit him in the face. He staggered back holding his jaw. He looked up at you, freed from the chains he had let you out of without knowing. 

“How the hell? I never- my name- you!” his hands bolted toward you releasing ice without holding back. 

You moved easily, avoiding the blast. Gliding past the ice, you aimed at his knee with your foot. Cameron fell forward, kneeling before you. Your hand found his jaw and moved his head so he would look at you. 

“I’m not a person you can beat, Cameron. I can fight you here,” you extend your freed hand, gesturing to the room, “or I can fight you here,” you moved it to tap his head again. “I don’t want to be your enemy. But I can be if you make me. So choose, because I can either destroy you or beat you up a little. Your choice.”

“If I let you go, I’ll be done for.”

“Sweatheart, if you choose to fight me you’ll be worse than done for. Even Psimon should be afraid of me, is afraid of me. He just doesn’t know I’m me yet. So please reconsider fighting me. I don’t actually want to hurt you,” you offered mercy one last time.

“If- they’ll end me,” he cried out.

“Then join me,” you said extending your hand.

“Yeah, like a trust you,” he retreated from your touch and stood up from his crouched position.

“I’ve been in your head, Cameron. It isn’t hard for anyone with half a brain to recognize you don’t like it here as much as you say you do. You’re bored, tired, exhausted, over this. You can’t lie to me.”

“I- no.”

“Fine,” you said, “let me know if you change your mind.”

“I won-” you hit him one last time, knocking him out. You kneeled down beside him and placed your hands on his temples, passing on the psychic message, a way to find you if he wished. You stood up and left him there, escaping from those that had taken you, without suspicion that anything had even happened.

[yellowocaballero]

no, keep writing long answers. whenever i send in asks and the reply is 'no' or some quippy gif or 'yes. [link to post that answered my question already]' it just devastates me. i feel like i wasted everyone's time and the answerer is just scorning me behind the screen for doing so lmao 😭

I find that it helps me a lot to approach life from the basic assumption that people don't care that much about me and that they don't have a lot of strong opinions about me. I mean, think of it this way - how often has a friend texted you and you went 'ugh, this asshole again, I hate them'? Or how often have you heard a classmate give the wrong answer in class or say something wrong and went 'what a moronic waste of space'? How often are you mentally unkind to others? Hopefully not that frequently. Even when you are, how often it is anything more than you taking our your own bad mood on another person? And the kind of person who thinks these things about friends or even strangers frequently, from pure bad spirit instead of just a tough day or a personal issue, isn't really the kind of person whose opinion I care a lot about.

Anyway, from my experience with bloggers who give short answers - they get a ton of asks every day and don't have time to respond in depth to each one. Or they just don't have a lot to say. Or they enjoy acknowledging asks but they feel awkward talking too much. If they respond with a link to the prev question, then they really just don't feel like taking the time to type everything out again! I give stupid long answers because they're about my fic and I love talking about my fic, I assume that most people following me are here to read my fic background and opinions, and because I don't get that many asks lmfao. On days when I do have a full inbox my answers are always a lot shorter. If I was some BNF or something I'd definitely talk a lot less. Also I just naturally am a big talker, and not everybody is. All of that's about me and nothing to do with the anons. Dw about it!!

[icepixie]

SNW 2x01

Spoilers ✨

Not bad. Definitely a more interesting episodic plot than almost anything in season one. Maybe they've finally found their legs.

Sad we got only two minutes of Una and Pike, but I liked what we got. "You cannot resign. The loss to Enterprise would be unimaginable. ...To me." (I'm reading it as "loss to me would be unimaginable," not "I can't imagine the loss to Enterprise." Because of course I am.) Hopefully more next week.

Everybody looked friggin' amazing in their undercover gear. A-plus costuming. Christine especially looked fantastic. Very D&D chic.

The special effects feel so different than what I mentally associate with Star Trek, even the later series that used CGI. I think it has something to do with the "camera" angles they're using to show said special effects, like spiraling down Starbase 1 at the beginning. I recall prior series doing more of things just moving around onscreen while the camera stayed in one place. (I could totally be misremembering, though.) I like it a lot; it feels very cinematic. It clashes a smidge with the set design, which is much more old school/almost 70s and 80s sci-fi movie (especially the predominantly white corridors, all the angles rather than softer curves), but that's fine.

M'Benga and his actor were outstanding here and he's secretly becoming my favorite character. "Nice guy must do violence" is old as the hills, but I liked that they acknowledged that he would take any other choice besides what they do, and he chooses it deliberately. So often that trope comes out of left field because the nice guy gets too emotional or whatever. I also really, really like his and Chapel's father-daughter-type relationship.

But Pelia. PELIA. BEST ADDITION TO THE SHOW. PERFECTION. I still miss Hemmer and wish we could have them both, but goddamn I love her character already. We needed something to lighten up this episode and she did that well. The concept of these Lanthians living undiscovered among humans until quite recently is interesting and I would like to see how that went down when they were discovered.

On the downside: Spock/Chapel is grating in just about every way possible. There is just no there there for me. Logically, I get it--Christine I'm sure has some kind of alien kink and half-breeds are even more entertaining, Spock released his emotions or whatever last season and I think it involved Chapel (don't care enough to check). But it's kind of like Archer and T'Pol, something in the interaction between them just screams "nope" despite how the PTB are writing it.

I honestly don't understand why I find Spock's journey towards feeling things so off-putting. This should be something I like. B'Elanna's human/Klingon stuff was cool. Troi's human/Betazoid stuff was cool. Why is this not? Is it because the thing he's struggling to accept is feeling emotions and I just don't really give a shit about that? Or is it that Spock is by far the character we already know the most about and any time spent on him is time we could be spending on any other character?

...Sorry, Spock-lovers. A little of him goes a long way for me.

On to the next episode. Next week. Like the heathens we were when watching network television, ugh. I don't absolutely hate spacing them out, especially when there are so few, but I definitely prefer being able to go at my own pace.

[squeiky]

Sometimes I get really sad and lonely and then I scroll through tumblr.

I think I have to start making a routine to walk outside, but i keep making excuses not too. The only outside place I want to be is on my porch and a park that’s 30 minutes away.

I’m really lonely apparently. It’s a side effect of having very little of a social life (aside from the few interactions on here. Since I don’t interact with anyone on any other site tbh.)

I think it’s just easy for me to be alone. Like I’m sure I developed some kind of abandonment issues and I’m fully aware of how it makes me feel- and that might be why i keep avoiding irl interactions.

Everything feels easier here. No anxiety no pressure. I know people here are okay and already know my goofy little self. I don’t have to worry about appearances and present how I desire. I don’t feel trapped.

I can scream into the void here. I can keep screaming and maybe one day, someone might just scream back. It’s a good feeling.

I keep feeling guilty for posting or rebloging so much. I look at other people getting asks or interactions as “successes”. I see comments and tags and it’s “success”. At what? Hell if I know. Perhaps some social game like popularity, or the fact that somebody is liked enough to have people talk to them.

Ugh, I used to read my old blog posts from an account long abandoned. Reeked of insecurity. I see myself falling back into that spiral over and over again whenever the darkness creeps up a little to closely. Like I can only eve ignore it for so long, until I’m back to screaming again like I am now.

It’s like that stupid feeling, like someone in the back of my mind is screaming “please be with me.” It’s crying all the time.

I don’t know what freindship is, I only see people in black and whites of “useful” and “not useful” the definition of useful isnt exact and varies person to person, but I recognize this is my thought process.

I guess there’s the guilt of it all too. Some underlying shame or guilt constantly pestering me. I hate annoying things and it’s really annoying.

I’m young, and I’m still figuring things out. Though that doesn’t really invalidate or solve how I feel now. Idk.

At some point in time I forgot how to talk to people in real life. It’s like when I do my soul leaves my body and I just go on autopilot. Only to return to a state of constant evaluation and analysis (which are my saviors).

Sometimes I just want to stay broken. Or maybe I was never broken to begin with. I don’t know. I’m sad and buttnaked writing this at 11:54 because I’m slowly developing a fear of sleeping (technically I just have s very strong desire to stay awake for no reason in particular.)

I fucked up with the alt descriptions for my art. I’m unsure if I’m making excuses not to make alts because it’s too much effort-or it’s something else.all I know is that I feel guilty about it.

I hate guilt (or is what I feel shame? I’m uncertain). I wish I never felt it. It’s a disgusting feeling that only does me bad. Usually I can just determine via logic when ive fucked up. But if what I feel is guilt then I do not like it. I wish it wasn’t there I wish it didn’t exist because it annoys me.

I cleared out my wounds too. I’m hopping I made it better by opening up a covered path that was clogging the infection gunk from getting out- and some dead skin. Getting hurt sucks.I thought I would be stronger. But I am reminded I am frail.

Screaming into the void in hopes of a freind. It’s a strange habit to have. Always screaming never a reply. I wish I could make things like this one person I follow. I’ve never seen them ever sad about their lack of interactions (atleast in this platform). I’m trying to be like that. But it sucks that I can’t register likes Orin the same way I do as reason people’s tags or comments or seeing their reblogs.

Since I’m always reblogging other peoples stuff, there’s always that nagging feeling when ever I make my own shit that it’s never enough.

One day though I think I’ll feel “enough”. I’ll drink champagne on that day and eat a chocolate cupcake. Just like a birthday celebration.

[libellule-ao3]

After Kettleburn I wanted more and continued on Ao3. I wanted to just go at your tumblr pace at first, but now I needed more. Anyway I was typing a comment that got out of hand and thought it might be better for here 😂

But I had to stop and comment here (chapter 15) because omg Merula just let Jacob get away with torture. 😭 I hated him when he hit her and then she said she could never do it to him 💔

How dare he. She did not deserve it. And how dare she let him get away with it.

I was already miffed when he inmediately assumed the worst in Little Bird, but he was still simping hard as well at that point and I liked that. Go be a simp Jacob! Not a torturer.

Also I feel like I'm missing information. What was the betrayal? Why was he a prisoner? Why is she a deatheater if they are on the same side? What made him so mad? I looked through your other stories and couldn't find it. In English at least 😅

Sorry if these are a lot of questions. I have a lot of feelings. 😅 You have such a way of evoking emotions with your writing. I mean you had me laughing at Kettleburn, goosebumps for Tonks, crying for Badeea and Talbott. Ugh so many emotions.

I'll stop the comment here before I go on any further 😂

(If you get a notification about me following you. I followed too much. So I unfollowed many blogs and accidentally yours too.)

Hello, 🙂

No worries. Feel free to share your thoughts wherever you feel most comfortable. I'm flattered that what you've read here has made you want to know more and I'm happy to answer your questions. I'm sorry if everything wasn't clear when you read it (I guess it's the disadvantages of the limited POV and the fact that the chapters do not follow each other😅)

Jacob went undercover with the DE to spy on them, and then to kill Nagini on Snape's orders. Jacob and Merula, daughter of Death Eaters who does not denounce him because she is torn between her desire to reconnect with her parents and her own values, get closer during this period until they fall in love.

Alas! Jacob is discovered at the moment he was supposed to kill Nagini and the DEs want to question him about his motives - most of them are unaware that Nagini is a Horcrux - and about the presence of accomplices. In these circumstances, the Cruciatus Curse is usually used by the DEs on their prisoners. To avoid this and in the hope of having an opportunity to free him, Merula takes over the interrogation and inflicts various abuses on him, less terrible than the Cruciatus Curse but torture is still torture.

She plays her role of executioner so well that everyone believed her, even Jacob. And after hours, days, of mistreatment by the one he has grown to love, he feels betrayed and thinks only of revenge, hence his violent reaction when he is released. When Annie reveals that Merula could never have used the Cruciatus Curse on him because it is imperative to take pleasure in the suffering of one's victim in order to cast it, Jacob realises his mistake.

And if there's anyone in my HPHM universe who knows what it's like to do bad things for good reasons, it's Jacob so he goes back to Merula.

As for Merula, she knows what it's like to want revenge after a betrayal and she recognizes the ambiguity of her own actions. Moreover, torturing someone you love yourself in the hope of saving them takes a lot of guts, and now that Jacob has figured it out, he recognizes her value and offers her what Merula has always wanted: recognition. It gives her wings and encourages forgiveness.

Beyond their good intentions, they have done a lot of damage to each other but their relationship has never been and will never be a smooth one so... 😅

I hope this message answers your questions. If not, don't hesitate to ask for clarification. Thank you for your kind comment. 💙 I am very flattered to see such engaged readers.