#I hate finals so muchhhh

[that-bookworm-bitch]

look out yellow guy! it’s gonna try to sing!

(tried out a new art style with yellow guy just mostly made him more humanized and do shadows lol. Y’all finals are kicking my ass I’m so tired😭 I still need to study for math and history ones for tomorrow)

[bclarke]

la galaxy gameday!!! very nervous and excited but also realllyyy scared 😂 if they lose, i will crash out baddddd

[simpee9000]

I love your “not just friends” series🥹 im obsessed! Im hoping to see more I love it soooooooooooo muchhhh!!!!!!! Even telling my friends to read it

But I saw a bakugo headcanon by another anon about him having a crush which I wanna add a spin on, what if he rejected this said crush back in middle school but developed feelings after xD I find it funny

Thank you !!! I'm glad you enjoy it so much!

And that is literally Katsuki Bakugo, can't see him not doing it tbh. (This was also a lot longer then I planned for it to be- I just started typing and here we are- 1k)

He isn't confused about a lot of things in life but his feelings definitely stump him. He tries to analyze other people and how they react to people, but the dots just don't connect. He hears people rave on and on about how cute their crush is, but he just doesn't get it.

It's not that he hasn't been introduced to it either. I mean, it's middle school. Everyone is crazy about dating someone even if it's just to hold their stupid hand. Bakugo didn't get it, he honestly didn't want to get it. Sure he wanted to understand it, but only so he could know a weakness or some shit. He didn't want the gushy feelings or anything such.

Rejecting girl after girl was normal for him, people just loved how great he was. But after the first year of middle school that stopped. Mainly because of how rudely he rejected every girl in the past, but also because of you.

You got extremely close with him rather quickly, working your way into his life and friend groups. It was rare to see you away from each other.

Yet when you confessed to him in your last year of middle school, he stood still. It was the only confession he hesitated on. And while you swayed on your feet, anxious for a reply, he tried to cough up any words possible.

But the only ones that came out were. "You're not special."

In the most blunt way possible, he crushed your dreams. With the way he was looking at you, it was like he couldn't fathom the thought that you thought you were good enough for him, different than all the other girls. So you choked up any spiteful things you wanted to say and nodded before walking off.

He didn't necessarily like you then, but the thought didn't seems gross. So when he watched you walk away, he shrugged it off. You'd talk to him tomorrow definitely.

When tomorrow came and went, he was waiting for you to show up by his side at any second. But of course, you never did. You waited a day before showing up to class, but when you did you stuck near your other friends.

It stayed that way too. You only nodded at him after you finished middle school, a small final goodbye.

So it was rather unfortunate that one of your friends happened to be Izuku. It was a hard-built friendship, but he's very forgiving.

You came and visited the dorms often, encouraged by his mother to help him get by easier.

Bakugo hated it, you never even looked his way.

When he googled his feelings he didn't want to believe the words typed on his screen. It was all saying he was jealous. He'd never been jealous of anything, especially nothing Deku had.

Eventually, Kirishima pointed it out, commenting on the glare he was giving Midoriya. He also called him out the next day, when he kept glaring despite you not being there.

The day he cracked was after he fought Deku, after being yelled out by Aizawa he and Deku were told to wait.

Bakugo mentioned your name in a mumble at first before Deku questioned it. "She like you or some shit?"

"What?!"

"You fuckin' heard me," he spat back.

"No!" Deku scrambled for a reason. He knew you had a crush on Bakugo before, but you haven't mentioned it in a while, "Do you?"

"Do I like you?!"

"NO! HER!"

Bakugo's aggression faded as he thought. Everyone was saying that. Kirishima, his dad, and now Deku. He gave a small shrug because he was unsure.

"She still asks about you," Deku decided to say, rather than poke the bear.

"Hm."

"Wanting to know if you're okay. After the sludge, and after.. well you know," Deku mumbled.

The door opened before anything else could be said, but even if it didn't, they both knew the conversation was over.

Feeling the commonly named butterflies in his stomach, at just the thought of you thinking of him still, was odd. It was an entirely new feeling. After googling, once again, he came to terms with the fact that he finally felt all the gushy feelings that everyone else got in middle school. The ones you used to have for him, hopefully still do.

He still waited a year to act on his conclusion first. But he still slowly tried to weave his way back into your life. Choosing to sit next to you when you visited, to othering you the remote.

Everything was without words for a while. Almost a year in he was forced to talk to you often. All conversations being awkward and strained.

Confessing was a different story, it was the last day you could visit before it was officially summer break before the second year. Everyone was all sat around watching TV, people leaving before they got too tired. Surprisingly, Bakugo and you were the last people in the living room. He didn't want to miss a second of your presence because he knew he couldn't see you during summer. He was so glad Aizawa let you stay late.

His head snapped away from the TV when you stretched to stand, silently grabbing your stuff.

"What are you doing?" he spoke before thinking.

You looked stunned, he never talked to you without you talking first, "It's late, I should go. Plus is it not past your bedtime?"

He glared at your joke before looking at the clock. It was 2:54a.m, you asked him out at 2:54 p.m in middle school.

"Do you still?"

"What?" you switched your weight onto one foot, crossing your arms confused.

"In middle school," he sighed, "do you still?"

"You're gonna have to be more specific."

"Have feelings and shit."

He still wasn't looking at you, but out of the corner of his eyes, he could see how you froze.

"I don't know how that's relevant," you huffed, embarrassed and annoyed that he'd be so cruel to bring up the rejection again.

"I do."

"Do what? Know how it's relevent? Of course you do, it's your brain-"

"Have feelings and shit," he mumbled, crossing his arms at how irated you sounded. He was finally making his move and you seemed pissed as hell.

You barked out a laugh, muffling it with your own hand, "You can't think I'm that stupid, right?"

"I'm being serious," he looked at you straight on for the first time. He was always easiest to read when you could see his eyes, and he looked nervous. Out of all the emotions you've seen on him, this wasn't one.

"Oh."

He sighed and looked down, "Don't gotta say anything, you can spend the night in the common room. No one will care," he pushed himself off the couch, turning to leave.

"Bakugo," you called out softly.

"Hm?"

"I might," your voice was shaky, "but I need to think about it. Know that you're not fucking with me or something."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay. Take your time. You have my number."

[selfinsertmadness]

i have a really cool prompt

hope you like my idea,

could you perhaps write a story about the current logan situation with loganxy/n ??

i love your blog soooo muchhhh

Logie and the Australian car incident

pairing: AstonMartin!y/n x Logan Sargeant (can be read platonically or romantically)

author's note: I haven't written any fanfic stuff in literal years (middle school me is quacking) but I tried my best with that one. Looking forward to any suggestions or critiques you may have :) (insert obligatory English is not my native language here) (please send promts!!!!)

The day starts off as any other day on a busy race weekend would and you are busy running around the Aston Martin garage making sure everything is in order before you return to your place at the back of the garage. You let your gaze sweep over the garage one last time before getting out your work phone and texting your boss, Lawrence, that everything is in order. The cars seem good, the mechanics had no complaints and Lance and Fernando were reasonably happy with everything. A satisfied smile washes over your face, your job was busy but reasonably easy, as the team caretaker your sole mission was to make sure the team was happy, the drivers taken care of, and the PR supervisors were not losing their minds running after their drivers while also texting Lawrence even the most minute details about his son and the other driver.

It seems quite redundant to you, but Lawrence Stroll pays well and who are you to turn down a job as a glorified team nanny.

You take a seat at the back and watch the first practice session absentmindedly, letting your gaze wander down to your phone occasionally, and scrolling through Twitter, scoffing at all the hate towards the current grid. It never ceases to amaze you how people can be so hateful, but then again, some people are just unhappy about their own lives. Looking up at the screen you watch a Williams car hit the wall on the right before sliding across the track and grinding its way to a stop on the left barrier. You gasp as you jump up, the rest of the garage wincing in sympathy as the car finally stops. You quickly turn to a mechanic nearby. “Who was that?”, you ask a little panicked as you watch the red flag fly and a driver in a Williams race suit climb out of the cockpit. “Albon, I think”, the mechanic replies helpfully as you try and suppress a relieved sigh. You still feel sorry for Alex but simultaneously thanking your lucky stars that Logan was not the one in an accident this time.

When Logan first got signed by Williams you both were ecstatic, you had met years ago when your parents had taken you on a vacation to Florida where you met Logan and you’ve kept in touch ever since. You had already been working for Aston Martin when Logan started in F1 and the fact that you could spend a lot more time together now served as further motivation to both of you to give it your best. You quickly shoot him a text, knowing he won’t be responding until later, before sending your boss a quick update and making sure the crash had not affected your team.

You honestly had forgotten you texted Logan in the first place as you watch the cars head out for the second practice session, Alex staying back in the pits, watching his teammate drive. You smile as you send Logan some memes you had found on twitter, knowing he would have a laugh once he got back to his room after the strenuous practice sessions of the day. Aston Martin, for once, had no major issues you had attend to and you could lean back and relax, as much as one in a Formula 1 garage can relax, in your seat while harassing the Aston Martin Instagram Admin with Memes you think they should be posting asap.

As the second practice session ends you help the team pack up and prepare for the next day as the drivers attend to their media duties and you stretch in relief as the first day of the Australian Grand Prix comes to an end.  After having everything sorted you get out your work phone and sign off for the day before taking out your personal phone and responding to some texts before checking your chat with Logan, seeing that he had read your messages but not responded. ‘You ok?’, you send him before shrugging off any worry you might have. Surely, he was just busy, after all, he was the only Williams driver that would be starting on Sunday. You really wouldn’t want to be in his shoes, the weight of the entire team and all the fans’ expectations resting on your shoulders. You might have a lot of responsibility but at least you were free of the expectations fans place on the drivers, mechanics and team principals.

You quickly slip into the shower of your private hotel room, a perk you were eternally grateful for, and put on some pajamas before order room service. You had earned it after all and looking after your figure was thankfully not a concern you had. ‘Ignoring your bestie? That’s not how I know you Loggie!’ you text Logan as you open the door for the food you had ordered and sit down before digging into the pepperoni pizza you had been craving for a week.

You startle as you hear a knock from your hotel room door. You shoot a quick glance at your phone, 11pm. You quietly approach the door and look through the peephole cautiously. Who would disturb you that late on a race weekend? Looking through the hole you see Logan at the door, his face unusually pale and his expression unnervingly neutral. Quickly you reach for the doorhandle, pulling the door open. “Logie? What got you a-knocking that late?”, you ask jokingly but the lighthearted smile on your face quickly fades as he stands on the swell of your door like a man lost, his eyes suspiciously watery. “Oh dear”, you mumble as you quickly pull him into your room and heard him towards your bed, letting him sit down before standing before him and looking at him with a stern expression. “What’s wrong?”, you ask, concern written all over your face.

He sighs, falling back onto the bed. “They’re taking my car.”, his voice sounds wobbly as he explains. “Who is taking your car?”, you ask, your voice confused.

“James. He said Alex has a higher chance of scoring and I get it, but I tried so hard, you know? They said they trusted me, and I was ready to proof how much I have improved and now I can’t drive at all. I didn’t crash the car! It’s not my fault! I didn’t do anything…”, he rambles, his voice flowing between sadness, anger and betrayal before ending in defeat. You look at him, he still has his upper body lying on your bed, his feet dangling off the side as he continues explaining what had happened. Quietly you sit down next to him on the bed and gently stroke through his hair as you let him talk out his frustrations. “y/n? What do I do now?”, Logan asks as he looks up at you, his eyes still wet but trying his hardest to not shed a tear.

“I will put the fear of God into that good-for-nothing son of a bitch.”, you explain very matter of factly. “I’m gonna walk down to the Williams hospitality and I’m gonna scream at your team principal!”, you declare with a huff as you get off of your bed and towards where you kicked off your shoes when you came back from the paddock earlier that night.

“Y/N, do NOT do that.”, Logan warns as he gets up and grabs your hand. “That is just going to make it worse.” “Okay but it’s also gonna make me feel a lot better ‘cause who does he think he is? Taking your car and giving it away. I’m gonna make him regret this entire week” you say angrily as you look up at him with determination and the wrath of someone who’s best friend was just wronged in your eyes.

“Please don’t”, Logan asks with sad eyes, gripping your hand even tighter. “Please just stay with me tonight, I feel sick. I just want to cry.”, he admits to you as you feel your resolve break. “But- “, you trail off as you watch him stand before you, his hand still tightly gripping yours. You sigh in defeat before squeezing his hand. “Right but only ‘cause you asked me to, if it was up to me…”, you stop, leaving the threat hang in the air of your hotel room as you head towards the small desk. “Pizza”, you declare as you shove the leftovers of your pizza into Logans hands. “My TV has Netflix, what do you want to watch?”, you ask as you throw yourself into the hotel room bed and turn on the flatscreen TV hanging opposite it.

Logan lets out a surprised laugh and sits down next to you, the pizza carton still tightly in his hands as he gets out a slice and lets you choose whatever show you find on the homepage. The evening continues in relative silence as Logan finishes the pizza and you sit in the bed, leaning onto each other. “I’m still sending him negative vibes, like spiritually”, you grumble as he giggles before slipping off to sleep for the night.

[doki-doki-imagines]

Heyyy can you do headcannons of the earthrealmers, specially johnny cage 😭😍😭, when they really like the reader and get jealous when the reader is doing something with the other one of them. Sorry if this isnt clearrr i cant speak 🥲🥲🥲

I love everything you writte btw, are you kidding me???? Thank you so muchhhh

author note: feat. Johnny Cage, Tomas Vrbada, and Liu Kang because I think they'd be the funniest. Also, I intended the request as them being jealous of theirselves from other timelines. Also fem!reader in Liu Kang part.

Johnny Cage: -He basks in this situation. It doesn't matter the timeline, you are always close to him. -But then Johnny notices his other selves getting a bit too close to you. He could recognize those moves. -He can because they are the ones he makes to woo someone. -Finally, something clicks into Johnny's brain. You may always be attracted (also unconsciously) to him in every timeline, but he also remains a dog in every single one. -In a blink of an eye, the ninja mime Johnny and Janet are face to face with your pissed boyfriend, his hand gripping tight your shoulder. -"Have I introduced myself? I'm Johnny the boyfriend. The best one, not a rip-off." He extends his hand, but it is clear to everyone that Johnny's intention is everything but pacific. -Everything happens in the blink of an eye, the three Johnnys brawling on the ground. -You thought about stopping them, but thankfully, you thought some more. -Three Johnnys, fighting, all bruised, his ass sticking out more than once…what a sight. -You sit nearby, your Johnny sunglasses on, admiring the view in front of you. -"Is everything okay? Do you want me to stop them?" "No, Lord Liu Kang. If you really want to help you can bring me a beer. I'm enjoying the view as you can see." You say, smirking at him. He sighs. A small smile appears as quickly as it fades. -You are also the same in all timelines.

Tomas Vrbada: -Like it's nice that you get along with another version of him, but…they should have different personalities. -And you still get along…are you with him just for his looks?! -It's a funny thought coming from such a humble guy, but it's not bad that he is developing a bit of an ego. -Tomas won't move a finger unless you are in danger, but you brushed off all the advances from his others' self so he doesn't stress much. -"Say the truth. Are you in love with me only for my looks?" You chuckle. "I'd love you even if you became a worm, Tomas."

Liu Kang: -It's nice to see that he has amazing taste in different timelines, but his other self seems to be a bit pushy. -Liu Kang recognize him. He should be an actor in that timeline, not a monk, not the chosen one. -But Liu Kang also notices how this guy is definitely trying to touch you and how you jerk away, still trying to be nice; still recognizing a bit of him in that other version. -Liu Kang doesn't mind when you get attention. He knows you are hot but hates when you are uncomfortable. -"Hey, I think it's time to return to your timeline." "Oh, the knight has come to save you!" The smile of the other Liu Kang is fake, something you have never seen on yours. -"I've heard you are getting married soon, congratulations!" The fake cheer in his voice makes you cringe. While you walk away, your Liu Kang's hand slightly pushes on your back to hide your figure from his other self. "Yeah, we love each other very much." "Ahaha perfect. Can't wait for you to marry her, so I can fuck her like I fucked the Kitana of your timeline." Your Liu Kang turns around. -He and the Kitana of his timeline broke things off centuries ago, so she was free to do whatever she wanted. -But what that slime wants to do with you? -Blood. A lot of blood was spread.

[feastingonyoureyes]

AJASHSIQHWUWHSHSJSAA AAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCHHHH FOR OPENING ONE FOR EYEFESTATION, Words cannot express how much I wanted someone to write for them bc everytime I checked Pressure × Reader it's always that darn fish man (mr Sebastian-recent-Tumblr-hot-man-Solace) or Painter now. Finally Eyefestation is getting some loveeeee

N e ways enough of me ranting... I was wondering if you could do Eyefestation × Reader fluff, I always wanted to hug this big green shark or comfort them (??? Perhaps OOC but one can dream) or something similar and seeing them somewhat portrayed as a girlboss or funny lil shark in some artworks of them fueled this want of mineee, I hope u don't mind this req!!

Synopsis; How THEY react to you hugging them

Pairing: EYEFESTATION x Reader

CW; OOC Eyefestation, Eyefestation uses She/Her prns and reader is GN, rush×not proofread.

Well, for one, it's obvious Eyefestation isn't used to physical affection — considering the circumstances that they're y'know...Fish, and also swimming outside Urbanshade's facility a lot.

However, let's put logic aside and say that they are able to enter inside and roam around (something like Sebastian)

If that were the case, then she'd be clung right to your side; not too close due to not wanting her eyes to affect you too much but you get what I mean.

So when you start drawing near her, at first she'd be... confused, puzzled, and a bit awkward? Since she isn't too fond of humans, but you were different from the others, however it still made feel on edge each time you got closer.

We're you gonna double cross her? Hurt her? She did see you picking up a flash beacon not too long ago and haven't used it yet, so— but oh. No, no, nothing like that happened at all. In fact instead she was met with a comforting warmth enveloping her torso.

She is fairly taller, and rather bigger compared to you, so you were only able to hug just about half of her — but it was a sweet, and unexpected gesture nonetheless.

From (still) hating humans, to having a human clinging onto her... It's no surprise when her eyes start tearing up all together. She hasn't felt affection in a long time, or had never recieved any until now, so she is a bit emotional and flustered all at once.

But don't worry! That was only when you first hugged her. The next few times you initiate it, she does end up reciprocating back, even using her height to her advantage to twirl and spin you around a bunch whilst jumping exciting.

Rare moments where she's the one initiating the hug though are always soft and gentle, her arms barely even touching and/or squeezing you tightly due her still being somewhat afraid of hurting you.

[neutrallyobsessed]

EPISODE 10!!!!!!!!!!! THE FINALE: THE SUMMER VACATION!!!!!

I AM FUCKING MELTING!!!!!!!!

AND YOU CAN TAKE A PIC WITH JESUS CHRIST! NOOOOO VAN GOGH!!!! You wanna ride Lincoln's log? OH COME ON WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE TRAINS???? i know that the underground railway wasn't underground or a railway but- OH IM SORRY FUCK YOU TOO

amen brother!

Confucius with beard and moustache? Let's gooooo!!!!

Wait, Cloney Island is real? HELL YEAH ITS REAL WOOOOOOOOOO

whoopsie-doodle

OH so the intro isnt going to be the magestic sound we just heard??

Ah finally, Nostradamus!

hmmmJFrrietmmmmmmm

HMMMMMJOANABEMMMMMM

The themes have the same initials!! I love it!!

TOPHER!!!! he's just static there.... buT AT LEAST HE'S HERE!!!

ok, now im feeling like they're purposefully avoiding giving him screentime-

OH LIKE IN THE INTRO!!!

hehehe rebooting :v NOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T CANCEL IT!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

AUGH

OH OK-

OH NOOOO NOT THE SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEE

EVAAAA!!!! CAMPEONA DEL MUNDO AAAA

WAIT WAIT

WHAT ISLAND IS THIS ONE?????

OK

you didn't get Confucius yet?/Abe was closest to you?

INTERESTING/IN WHAT WAY

JIJIJIJI JAJJAJAJA!!

I'm glad they aknowledge Topher being Joan's friend rather than Abe's- anyways this is how joanpher can still win-

ooooo how considerate~~THE HISTORICAL JOKES ARE SO GOOD!!!JFRRIET!!!!!!!!

ssssssss ooooooo my knees dont work~~~~ yes YESSS YEESSSS

YEEEEESSSSSS!!!!

YES! I WAS SO RIGHT! I AM SO RIGHT ABOUT HIM!!!! YOUR ANGST RIDDEN ASS DON'T UNDERSTAND TOPHER... no no... Y'ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND CHRISTOPHER LIKE I DO! He doesnt hate himself! He doesnt hate being the clone of an eViL colonizer or whatever! HE LOVES IT! HE LOVES HIMSELF! HE LOVES BEING HIMSELF!!! HE WANTS TO BE HIMSELF AND BE PROUD AND SUPER ANNOYING ABOUT IT!! And he can be Christopher Columbus here and make people happy..... he makes me happy.............but if you dont leave you will die and thats no good, i promise that you'll find a place to be yourself or something i love youuuuu, i love him soooo muchhhh yknow~

Oh look, I can salivate again! Maybe I can EAT something for once....!

Hahahhaha even the trash can died lol

GAAASSSPPP!!!! WHERE IS THIS ALL COFFEE COMING FROM??

ok smartass, do you have a time machine that can comfirm us if that's a racist costume or an accurate portrayal of the real Confucius? eh? concha de tu madreeee.......

i love this kind of jokes sjksjskjksjkjskj

there was also one like that in the columbus ride lolol, it was so unsafe, just like the Ital Park~~ sighhhh♥

lmao i dont know if they're happy that they saved him or that the FUCKING TRAITOR is FUCKING DYING!!! MMMMMMMMMM

but if Christopher is happy then I'm happy ^^

JFRRIET LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

NOOOOOO HE ATE THE OVERPRICED CHURRO!!!

ok this is the last one, it can only mean one thing!

Aww the cheesy line bout destiny and nothing is written in stone and yadda yadda~~ go read afterschool charisma~~

♪CAN WE START, START... OVER♫♫♫ IT'S ALL OVER~~!

Rating: TO BE CONTINUED...?!$@#;)/10!

Topher Bus *sigh siiigh* has appeared on screen... for 51 seconds. A total of 6:15 minutes..........let's go to bed, the fan is turned on.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hi ari yes! you are welcome

geto canonically (at least i believe so don't quote me) carries a lighter around just for shoko (he makes me want to die he's so sweet and tender) but i love how that doesn't stop most everyone from hcing/drawing him as a smoker god i hate cigarettes but he's soooo hot oh god i should be the cig instea

oh man geto hating himself for making the reader cry... some things never change... i'm in pain again. oh goodness i think. fluff. SPEAKING OF WHICH do you have any fluff recs for suguru? (i've already read all the ones from kissxcore and go6jo though). tumblr search engine fails me every time i try to read

and YES i was fast that's cause i was kind of (really) waiting for this all day and i saw it n howled a little bit wow. never a dull moment on this blog

YOU’RE SO SWEET 🌖 ANON MWAH MWAHHH <33333 it’s not explicitly canon that he carries a lighter around just for shoko, we just see him lighting a cigarette for her in hidden inventory!! with a lighter he brought on his own. personally i think he carries it around just for her tho :33 AND YOU’RE SO REALLL I NEED TO BE HIS CIG. i’m not a smoker either but sadly i fall into the habit of finding smoking aesthetically attractive </3 AND YES :((((( some things never change!!!!! his heart broke a little. imagine finally kissing the love of your life after 10 years of abstinence only to realize they’re crying……… yeahhh. </3

BUT YES SUGU FLUFF!!!! first of all GREAT taste tumblr user kissxcore the actual love of my life (alexis if u see this ily)…… i have a couple sugu drabbles/fics in mind so i’ll link them under the cut!!!!! :3

in no particular order!!! :

black is the colour of my true love’s hair by @/dollsuguru

LIFE-CHANGING FICCCCCC it’s sososo cute and funny and heartwarming :(((( the character/reader dynamic is my favorite Ever (sugu belongs w a silly little reader <333) and there r just . SO many moments that killed me. so much devotion!!!! and love!!!!!! AND HE CALLS READER DOVEEE I LOST IT I CRIED . kairo has some other sugu fics that’re more angsty but they’re Extremely tasty so i def recommend checking them out <33

a thundering first by @/teddybeartoji

THE CUTEST . THE SWEETEST . I GIGGLED AND KICKED MY FEET SOOOO MANY TIMES HE’S SO DANGEROUSLY CHARMING ….. genuinely got flustered reading this fic i am a weak weak individual. and mickey just has a way of writing intimacy and first meetings that Really makes me melt…. T_T they have some other super duper cute sugu stuff too!!!!

tattoo artist!sugu hcs by @/missukiyo

SOOOOOO CUTE AND FLUFFY <33333 i love tattoo artist sugu soso much and these hcs just made me feel that even more 😭😭 HE’S SOOO SPECIAL TO ME uki’s version of him is simply unsurpassed…….. he’s so boyfriend. so reassuring. made my heart flutter severely

an excuse to touch by @/riaki

THEEEEEEEE COMFORT READ EVER :((((((( i remember feeling sososoos cozy and happy reading it for the first time …. riko just has a Way with words and imagery and i eat it up every time!!! this drabble is just too sweet :((( sugu is so doting in it….. soooo bf coded……. i need him bad.

love by @/hayakawalove

ACTS OF SERVICE KING SUGU I CHEERED!!!!!! this is a super comfy super sweet poly stsg/reader fic but the focus is on sugu and his love language :33 I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHH rem’s sugu is one of my favorites ever we always agree on him and his love….. he’s such a giver. and rem wrote this in such a lovely way it’s just brimming w adoration :((( another big comfort read he’s so Mother

teeth; gum; metal by @/mossmudrock

ONE OF MY FAV SUGU PIECES EVERRRRR moss’ writing has me so genuinely insane i clearly remember the breakdown i had reading this for the first time. i don’t know if it’s exactly fluff? but it’s definitely not angsty!!!! it’s just such a lovely soft piece…. and it’s written so gorgeously. so many lines from it are imprinted in my skull <///3

that suspended in-between by @/seiwas

I LOVE THIS DRABBLE SO MUCHHHHH sel also wrote a super super good fwb to lovers sugu fic… that i adore…. but if you’re looking for pure fluffy vibes this one is probably better. i just think sel has a way of making characters feel super grounded and real!!!! and i love her take on sugu sm…. he is so charming in this.

our first i love you by @/sacchariins

i absolutely ADORE this fic… sadly the original account is deactivated but the link should hopefully still work :’3 i just think geto is so insanely charming in this, it’s a college au and it’s just…. super super fluffy and sweet and funny. it’s one of my absolute favorites!!!!! it inspired me a Lot when it comes to how i view college sugu and a no curses au sugu in general… wherever this writer is now i hope they know how wonderful and skilled they are!!! i think abt this dynamic and dialogue SO often.

cinnamon, honey & sage by @/s0ulm8s

I LOVE THIS ONE. as you know i Adore cult leader geto and i especially love when people depict him in a softer way!!!! which is exactly what this is :3 he feels in character and grounded but also soft…. it’s a delicate balance and i just think the author did suchhh a good job. it’s just rlly rlly sweet!!! and the writing is so pretty too…

housemate suguru hcs by @/luvsugu

THESE R SOOOO CUTE AND WARM :(((( housemate sugu my BELOVED this characterization of him is truly toptier. he’s so good. i need him so bad. just so feel-good and comfy i need to live w him….. roommates to lovers is another of my fav sugu tropes hehe

drabble by @/junosmindpalace

this is such a comfort read :’) it’s sooo sweet and tender and also so nicely written. just very very soft!!!! geto taking care of reader’s hair… and being doting and soft…… sniffleeee i love him. i love the way it’s written too!!!! such a nice take on sugu aaa

there r lots more on both tumblr and ao3 that i can’t remember at the moment, but this is a start!!! it’s reallyyyyy difficult to look for fluff in the jjk tags bc it’s literally brimming w smut but . go to ao3 and use lots of search filters and i’m sure you’ll find lots of gems!!!! sugu nation is so talented it’s crazy

[taegularities]

finally finished cmi 13 and omg!!!!! it’s so so good wth 🥺 honestly that whole nara jk oc fiasco likeeeee i was agreeing w oc i didn’t like how nara just showed up and was friendly right away and how jk was the same….right in front of oc??? omg like an ex is an ex no matter what. but im glad that nara came to the realization when she apologized to oc like ya exes are not supposed to be friends you know. this line made me laugh tho 😭 (in the middle of me crying)

“See? This is exactly what you fucking mean. They’re all part of one thing. Fucking hell, this is—“

like at that point oc was just spiralling but she was sooo right like that small town is just one whole drama where everyone is interconnected and oc is just there for the first time and is like damn can i catch a break!!! LMAOOO

the whole jk and his dad thing was very sad too even if he tried to make amends like yeah things might be too late or not bc the damage has been done but at least they’re trying

and lastlyyyyy jk just loves oc sm. like when he calls her angel? i just swoon. and like just reading how he talks to her in my head he just sounds so gentle u know????? and how he planned all these surprises for her during their stay in his hometown. idk what else to say but he really loves her yall 😭 like she is it for him 😭 i feel like he would propose early in their relationship not too early but like the whole moving in thing but an engagement this time and u know what it’s very fitting for the both of them bc they love eo!!!!!!!!!!

anw with all that said - miss rid what is next for this couple? (and thank you for sharing this chapter with us it was so beautifully written and i hope you’re feeling better now)

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

omg hi 😭 right, i agreed with her, too!! i would absolutely hate it; and frankly, i wouldn't get between my ex and his new girlfriend either, so that was kinda :(( of nara to do. oc did spiral!! i also totally would. her biggest problem wasn't nara herself, but the assumption that jk felt something for her, especially meeting her where they fell in love so long ago. nara's a cool one though, yeah, she was so used to being his friend, and they 'just' separated like 1.5 years ago, so… at least she apologised, yeah :( NAWH im sorry that you cried lol buuuut if it helps, i did as well :'D

yup yup, i sobbed quite a bit writing the dad scenes lol like my baby doesn't deserve this </3 it's definitely way too late. don't think jk will forgive him very soon – it's the hardest part. but ye, at least something's happening here…

jk loves her to death help, where do i get me a man like him :') angel and munchkin fr ksjkasfsa my ex used to call me sugar and it was just such a thing that i always melted to, so i think oc feels the same <3 ugh yeah he treats her very very softly. like when he said he knew she'd be good at strawberry picking bc she's a gentle person? he wants to give back the same energy 🥺 LOL idk about proposing, i feel like they'd take their time with that, but yes ykw, it'd be fitting somehow :P

WAH there's so much ahead for the couple!! 😭 i'm already crying about the upcoming parts; i think cmi15 especially is a heavier one. but there's so much comfort ahead, too, so stay tuned 🤍 thank you so muchhhh for reading!!! i'm not feeling a lot better yet, but it'll be okay. hope you're well <3

[lurkingteapot]

Love in Translation รักไม่รู้ภาษา Ep 3+4

My watch notes for your pleasure (?)

Ep 3

ahaahah of course Yang and Tammy know each other. Possibly biblically.

I'm not gonna even attempt to transcribe all of these, but what I got was Yang: 别让别人知道我们认识 Tammy: 为什么 Yang: 我们现在和陌生人没什么区别啊 让后我们的过去也没哪么记得会回忆吧

they don't hate each other, at least. I think.

I respect Tammy's hustle

I really love the Phawjai/not-called-dtua-lek-but-fuck-if-I-can-remember-his-real-name side ship. They're cute.

oh man, Phumjai is NOT paying attention

I LOVE THIS SHOW for calling out gtranslate.

for real though the hàa hàa hàa was such a whiplash from wǔ wǔ wǔ

… and now this door sign again, nooooo

their 无耻 sounds SO MUCH like 无去 to me >_>

Yang is so protective of Phumjai and it's not all about the shop anymore.

gotta give it to Phumjai, at least he's not the super jealous type, I guess

Ep 4

oooof Yang, are you speaking from experience here?

PRACTICE DATE <3 <3 <3 This trope done well is just so good.

oh, that pandan bread looks incredible

hotpot!!! oh this is going to be a hard episode to watch on an empty stomach

吃什么不重要 重要的是跟谁一起吃 -> 阳阳啊，你说的对

I love how this show goes into cultural differences between Thailand and China a bit every now and then – teaching moment for everyone

oh goodness, Yang is so gone

oh no, the temple scene, oh NO

Phumjai is so oblivious, goodness. the way Yang looks at him!!

khanom khrok!! I wantttt. these are fancy though

oh god they're CUTE

oh NO not the duck pendant!! and I think Phumjai actually finally started to notice something there, even if he repressed it pretty much immediately

oh Yang, daring, daring. granted he probably counts on Phumjai not to get it? but still.

oh man this scene under the tree is taking me OUT

Phumjai trusts him so muchhhh and he's not about to break that the frequent check-ins

also asdfasdfasdf Phumjai isn't! budging!

I wish I knew more about the author's stories, that couple that just interrupted them felt like a cameo

oh Yang, oh bb

omg omg this disguise I CANNOT, I wonder whether that's a reference to something

aaah conversations about going public <3 <3 <3

oh Phumjai you adorable oblivious child

so you're saying the entire practice date was more fun than your actual date, aren't you

it's no fun when you're mostly a prop, isn't it

oh Phumjai, you're nearly there. so close.

HERE WE GO!

what a half-time ending

I adore this show and really recommend it so far. Ep 1 was the weakest to me, tbh, but it's gaining every episode. It's on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s27LxcQeg_0

And for my fellow Thai learning folks: I just realised it has Thai subtitles, too!

[meshiinuma]

oki i woke up this morning 2 SO MANY NOTIFS ?? well . more than normal lolololol BUT I THINK ITS STILL A LOT and i just wanna say first THANK U SO MUCHHHH <333333 all of this engagement is giving me motivation 2 work on my other sashisu one shot that's abt 50 percent of the way done [maybe . MAYBE ill finish it by the end of the week . peak tungle app engagement is mon - thurs after 4pm imo so well see how far i get] and i think u guys r gonna like it a lot !! i love how its going rn heres a sneak peak teehee :33

and visit sometime is . uh . yeah . were almost at 20k words tho !! yay !!! im still on the first chapter tho . boo . WHATEVER i am working on something very very yummy n thats all yall need 2 know

ANYWAY again, thank u guys so much !! im so so so so excited 2 write more n atm the release list is ->

sashisu one shot abt food

sashisu one shot abt cleaning day

lesbian suguru hc pt. 2

satosugu one shot thats inspired by good omens a lil bit

all of those should b done by the end of the month me thinks :33

my final parting gift is ,, some questions !! do u guys like when i post sneak peaks of my wips ? and do u guys like when i announce what time im posting fics ? pretty please give me some type of answer cuz i wanna know !! ik i dont get any engagement on those posts, n thats perfectly fine !! i just wanna know if u guys r seeing them n appreciating them ! or maybe u guys hate those posts w a burning passion [knowing this website id probably have heard abt it at some point] whatever u feel, let me know !!! oki . thats it . have a good day u guys :33 take care of urselves n drink water bcuz i care but not in a parasocial way but in the sense i think people and their bodies deserve 2 b taken care of oki byeeeeeeee ^_^

[haysprite]

ask and shall receive

the rest of the killers. I haven't really made any progress on any of them but the inspiration for the fantasy au was my love for fairytale-like stories and how dark they can be (like the Grimm brother's tales or etc). so I mostly put characters in who would most likely fit in a fairytale au. the huntress is one of them since her story sounds like a folklore story. the wraith was once a human but he reincarnated into a spirit of a magic forest. the trapper was the son of the Macmillan house in a different kingdom (perhaps the richter kingdom). so coming up with a role for herman is hard since he's all electric but I feel like he would be a doctor while he would invent some punishments or execution devices (I got inspired by the fact that a dentist was the one who invented the electric chair).

now onto the fun stuff Julie x Frank. they had multiple fun adventures together with Susie and Joey. they travelled to many places, stole valuables and sold them on the black market, sometimes Danny and Amanda would visit them, and at one point I feel like they settled to live in a nice village, built their own cottage and started their own mini farm :). they did attend a masquerade ball and Frank cried about how pretty Julie was and they had a fun night. while they were still in the Kostenko kingdom Julie and Frank shared Julie's bed (they didn't do anything, just to clarify). sometimes they would do some silly roleplays together where they make fun of those fairytale stories. onetime when they were doing it some guy actually thought Julie was in danger and tried to "save" her by pulling her away from Frank and running away from him. she got pissed off and told the man that she was fine and that she was only pretending however the man didn't believe her so she just punched him in the nose and walked off with frank.

alright now onto the angst stuff. basically, the whole group got caught because somebody snitched on them (it was Meg) so they were all brought back to the kostenko kingdom. since Frank had committed the crime of "kidnapping" a royal family member he was publicly executed, Joey and Susie weren't allowed to be with Julie alone anymore and they rarely see her Julie was forced to marry somebody she didn't like and was kept on watch 24/7. so basically Julie's life became very miserable, she was forced to watch the love of her life die right in front of her, she rarely gets to spend time with her friends and she was forced to be around somebody she hates :(.

YEAHHHHHH HUNTRESSS!!!!!! On god it'd be so fucking funny if the Leg ever interacted with her, just big scary lady with hatchet living in the woods that would immediately befriend (or surprise adopt) Julie and Susie 🙏 Also that's honestly exactly what I was thinking Doc would be all about as well! He'd defo be into that like, torture/punishment/execution bullshit, just utilizes electricity like he normally does !

ALSOKJLFSLKJFDSLKJFDSLK !!!!!!! THOSE ARE ALL!!!! SUCH FUCKING CUTE IDEAS !!! LIKE CURRENTLY CRYIN IN THE CLUB RN IMAGINING THEM OH MY GODDDD <3<3<3 EUGHDSLKFKFDSJL ESPECIALLY THEM DANCING TOGETHER (which my HC that Frank can't dance for SHIT makes it hilarious tbhtbh) GODDDD JUST LET THEM BE HAPPY LIL IDIOTS I LOVE THEM 🛐🛐🛐💕💕💕 ALSO YESS DANNY AND AMANDA FRIENDSHIP REAL, THEY ARE BESTIES AND YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE 😌

Also I regret asking about this part now, actually /j Goddammit I like, figured this is what it would be, BUT IT STILL HURTS :(( Like oh my god, the idea that Julie finally got everything that she wanted, only for it to be taken away from her within such a short period of time is so painful oh my god 😭 My heart be broke so many times istg, I just want her to be happy </3

Godddd I've said this before but I'll say it again, I fucking adore this AU so muchhhh! Like, my own personal AUs/story ideas are typically what's on my mind, but sometimes this AU just kinda wiggles its way in there and sits there and I just enjoy thinking about it so much !!!

[alicemitch09writes]

can i ask more about sunayn facts? more so, about suna and his feelings all throughout hs to their reunion. i love them both SO MUCHHHH

more than anything, suna felt really intimidated by reader's presence. not just because she was smart and all, but because of how much she was slowly growing on him. 'twas why he's protective of her and quick to join osamu for lunch.

as mentioned in the fic (i forgot huhu) suna swore to himself never to make a move on reader, because he did not want to take advantage of her considering the state that she was in.

so as much as he can, he was by her side. it was enough for him to be her friend, seeing as she needed it the most.

however, he will not lie and say that it kills him to have the person he wants the most but hold himself back because she doesn't need romance in her life right now.

right after punching atsumu, reader was a bit disappointed with him. suna's words to her, when she heard about it was, 'i'm not sorry'. it killed him to see her disappointed, but it killed him even more when she shook it off and treated his hand. since then, he's tried his hardest not to make her angry at him. he just couldn't bear it.

reader would nag him at times, especially during lunch when suna wasn't eating properly and would offer her share. it was really embarrassing on suna's part. so he tries to eat healthier, just to appease her, and because he'll break and osamu would definitely know that he's crushed on his best friend.

(osamu's always known, ever since he joined them for lunch)

when atsumu tried to make amends with reader, suna was the second to get apprehensive about it (osamu, being the first). this explains his animosity towards atsumu before his grand speech and before reader walked in the gym.

for reader's sake, he acted civil towards atsumu. sure, he'd antagonize him however he can, for good show. but deep inside, he HATED atsumu, for the way he hurt reader and made fun of her feelings.

as much as he could hate atsumu, he was also quite thankful to see reader's shell slowly crack thanks to the setter. with this, suna remembers where he stands.

when they reunited again, suna was pleasantly surprised by just how vibrant reader's become.

with that, he returned to his high school state of being protective over her in his suna way. komori would tease him, saying he's acting like a boyfriend, unaware that suna froze at that.

washio subtly gave him advice that reader seems happier now and suna should take the chance to be the reason she's happier now. heck, even their manager - murase-san, was all 'you two would look cute together!'.

while the team is from a paper manufacturing company, they have several sponsors. one of them, of which, is a supporter/fan of suna. so when he found out that suna and reader finally got together, he gifted him a car. to say suna was shocked was understatement, but the old man said he knows what it's like to be in love yadda yadda spiel and just wanted to support his favorite middle blocker.

when they finally dated, their relationship was kept private. because in japan, dating your coworkers would raise suspicion. however, the two keep it very professional. thankfully, everyone supports the two.

suna's hand position became a sort of trademark that kids would approach him, and mimic him. at times, they would approach reader.

if ever fans - especially the younger ones, would want to see suna, they first search for reader. this continues until the two are in the olympics team.

that's all it got. hehehe

[onlyswan]

Woahhh your last drabble 🥺😭😭❤️‍🩹 That was sooo beautiful, at the end I almost wanted to join jk in the bathroom to cry a little....

Jealous oc is so funny lol but don't we all relate a little 🤭 I wanna give them a big hug thoo, their heart it's too soft (but also strong in many ways) for this world!

And jk's mom 🥺🥺🥺 saying she missed her baby too 🥺🥺🥺 I'm so happy that oc finally has someone they can trust and who can be so understanding, besides jk - and damn right he feeds his baby well 💝

-“you love me and you never let me forget that.” - yea so for the 19376708 time, I WANT WHATEVER THEY HAVE PLSSS

But then again, if someone were to say that to me, or make me feel this way idk how I'd survive 🤧

Thank you for your work, Art!!!!! I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOUUU and I hope your taking care of yourself , you know, after your finals! So everything went well right? 🥹 Is life also getting busier for you? I can imagine... but we have to keep going right..

And god I miss the tannies so muchhhh 😭😭 I sometimes find stuff I used to watch a lot in my baby army days and it makes me so nostalgic.. like I just wanna feel that happy again, without having anything else to worry about 😔

-🐧

BABYYYY i missed you!!! thank you so much 🥹🩵

hehe it was so fun writing jealous oc too 🤭 the strongest soldier fr six years of having the hottest bf on earth… can u even imagine the amount of ppl manifesting him to be theirs omfg . ANYWAYS

oc being everybody’s baby just as they should be <333

But then again, if someone were to say that to me, or make me feel this way idk how I'd survive 🤧

oh you’d survive… (sighs wistfully) you’d want nothing more but to survive

NOOOOO WHY R U BEING SO CUTE I WILL CRY 😭😭😭 i love love love you more than you can imagine!!!! 💕 and yes i’m trying to catch up on all the sleep that i didn’t get for yk… the past year… my life has been wildly different since i started uni i love and hate it at the same time 😭 even though you’re busy keeping going i hope you never forget to take care of yourself and do things that make you happy 🫂<3

me too :( you know what used to be my favorite day of the week? tuesdays! i miss run bts tuesdays! 😭 i always had a reason to push through because i got to hang out with my seven bffs and laugh together :( i miss them so much

[saturnheart]

She took this moment as a chance to take in her younger brother’s ragged appearance, at first glance he looked like he normally did; exhausted. But taking the time to really study him, she knew Carmy was doing worse than he’d ever admit.

💔older sister thingsss

The discoloration under his eyes was the worst Nat had seen it, the deep blue-purple bruising a sign that he was getting even less sleep than he usually did.

poor guys going THROUGH it

She would find him just standing in the restaurant, sometimes eyes staring into nothing as he worried the pendant between his fingers, oftentimes raising it to his lips before letting it go completely and wandering to do whatever task needed to be done.

this!! it kills me like bro really has this pendant and it’s like what keeps him going?? like i find it kinda cute tho (like give me a man who wears my initial 🙄😐🥲)

“That I’m pregnant.” Her final words were spoken just loud enough to alert the crew to her news.

surpiseeeee shawtyyyyy

Nat watched as the two men locked eyes, not too keen on playing referee for these two again. She looked in Carmy’s direction as Richie began making his way over, trying to gauge what was going through her little brother's mind.

these children i swear

“Carmen,” Richie nodded in acknowledgment to Carmy. Richie would be lying if he said he wasn’t purposefully using Carmy’s government name to rile him up, he knew how much Carmy hated it when you did it, and since you weren’t here someone had to uphold the tradition.

i can picture them already LMAO

“I don’t like your tone, Carmen,”

😭

“all I’m sayin’ is Mikey didn’t trademark it whoever did might…I dunno hypothetically deserve an apology in return for said documents.”

richie #1 baby defender !!

“Cat’s out of the bag! Our pregnancy is no longer top secret!”

AWWW PETEEEE

“Nat’s my partner you know? And I’m so grateful for her providing me the opportunity to be a father. Allowing me to build with her, for us to come together and bring a child into this world, it’s a beautiful thing I love her ya know.”

stop he loves her so muchhhh!!!

“Nat she uh…she confided in me about how she always wanted to be the one to throw you a shower if you ever decided to have children. And if-when we had our own she’d want you to be in charge of hers��if you wanted to not like she would force you.”

they’re sisters no matter what 🥹🤍 i’m really glad baby has someone like nat (and pete) but i also feel like sugar needed someone like baby since she grew up with just mikey and carmy + richie was probably one of those friends that was always at their house.

“But Pete was so positive and always looking at life and your situation with a ‘glass half full’ mentality, that his constant belief in you helped to make the hard days easier.”

he’s so needed in that family like he’s adds in a little fun and positivity

“Pete, do you think you could give me Carmen’s number?” You tried not to roll your eyes as you saw Pete’s own light up, you were almost positive he would be telling Nat about this topic of conversation.

🤭🤭

Pete laughed, “He never answers my calls anyway.”

😂😭

I just, whatever is going on between you and Carmen, it’s affecting Nat. And she won’t tell you because you deserve to feel how you feel, but with the baby and the restaurant…she doesn’t need to play "Fix it Felix” with you and Carmen right now.”

WELL SAID PETE 😭 WIFEY NEEDS A BREAK!!!!

“You still fuckin with that lil dumbass boy?” The question caused you to choke on the last bit of cocoa in your cup.

😭😭 he’s so real

“Listen I know we ain’t sposed to have like personal relationships and shit, but lemme know what homeboy looks like I’ll get my goons on em’ for you.” Your head fell back in laughter as Cortez raised his fist to under both of his eyes.

i like this guy LMAO

Carmen stopped in his tracks, eyes finding your figure across the street. You were in front of the church that held the Al-Anon meetings he told you about.

omg

He felt the air leave his lungs as your name flashed across his screen, he realized just how indecent setting that Polaroid picture of you with his chain on might have been now that he was in public, but it’s not like he ever thought you’d call him.

each mention of the polaroids i die a little like.. 🥲

He scrolled through the messages eyes reading over your message with details about a baby shower, your address included.

i can’t wait for the baby shower !!! i’m hoping and praying it’s a sweet time (no drama pls) but whatever you have planned will be GOOD 😭😂

But here he was with a message from you, and a missed call and he wasn’t sure how to take any of it.

sighs

‘Hey Carmen, uh it’s me…Baby. Not sure why I introduced myself. I'm sure you know it’s me.” Carmy let out a watery chuckle at the sound of your voice, even if he hadn't saved your number the delicate timber of your voice would’ve been enough for him.

catch him replaying this voicemail every morning now after receiving it

“I know you have issues with girls actually having your number…Sorry, that was actually kind of rude.”

baby no.. that was actually well deserved for him

“but I think we both deserve a chance to explain our side of things. I um…I also have some things I think you should know. Just, if this is something you’re interested in, you have my number.”

it’s coming soon…. i cannot wait like even if it leaves me in tears

You lived about 30 minutes from where he was, he was confident he could get there in 20 and spare the 10 minutes at a store near you.

i know he’s a chef but i love that he like immediately chooses that he needs to make dinner for her like i know for sure his love language is acts of service like bros here calculating time on how long it will take to get to her place then the grocery market like breatheeee dude

He was nervous, maybe showing up at your house to cook you dinner wasn’t his most thought-out plan but he needed you desperately, needed to see you, be in your presence, and know that there was still a chance of something more between the two of you.

bro 😭😭

the pendant delicately resting against his chest felt warm. Carmen was adamant that he would admit his love for you tonight, unsure if he could go another day living with the fact that you were in love with him, but you still didn’t know just how much he had always loved you. You were so blissfully unaware that since he could remember, you had been the one and only option in his mind.

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭🤍

chapter seven | they know i believed in us last week

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader | platonic!pete x fem!reader | male!oc x fem!reader |

summary: carmy struggles to deal with your absence in his life, while you finally learn to live without him.

warning(s): talk about miscarriage (no explicit details) | word miscarriage used once | implied suicidal thoughts | substance abuse | NA | AA | Al-Anon | grief | mention of pregnancy |angst | drama | semi-fluff | language | sad boi carm | baby being mature | woe is me carmy | please let me know if i missed anything |

wc: 7.3k

song rec: i'll still have me - cyn, aquilo

semi-edited/proof-read

“Carm hey, are you listening?” Natalie’s eyes flitted across Carmy’s face, his blank eyes staring directly past her. She took this moment as a chance to take in her younger brother’s ragged appearance, at first glance he looked like he normally did; exhausted. But taking the time to really study him, she knew Carmy was doing worse than he’d ever admit.

His usual textured and fluffy hair was limp against his head, the greasy quality of it proving he needed a wash. The discoloration under his eyes was the worst Nat had seen it, the deep blue-purple bruising a sign that he was getting even less sleep than he usually did. The skin of his lips was dehydrated and bitten to pieces, a tick he had as a child that gradually calmed down as he grew older. And the visible stubble on his chin was enough to know that the absence of your presence in his life was hitting him harder than anyone expected.

Her eyes caught on the chain that was haphazardly peeking out of his shirt, squinting at the newly added pendant hanging from it. Natalie didn’t have to be a genius to know whose initial hung around Carmen’s neck, the chain which was usually safely tucked into his shirt was now blatantly on show for everyone to see. Natalie had noticed it more recently since your and Carmy’s argument, though this was her first time seeing it this close. She would find him just standing in the restaurant, sometimes eyes staring into nothing as he worried the pendant between his fingers, oftentimes raising it to his lips before letting it go completely and wandering to do whatever task needed to be done.

Natalie’s concern was palpable but the discomfort in her abdomen was worse. “Have you tried talking to her?” The shaky breath she let out filtered between the two of them.

Carmen’s eyes finally snapped to hers taking in the uncomfortable expression on her face, “Sug?” He waited for Nat to focus on him. “You good?” The question hung in the air as Natalie tried to even out her breathing.

Using his sister's obvious discomfort to deflect from the conversation she was insistent on having wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but he’d rather put his sister’s well-being before being forced to think about how long it had been since he last spoke to you; he last saw you.

Carmy watched as Sug raised a closed hand to her mouth suppressing the urge to gag. “Yeah good, I’m good.” The forced smile on her lips did nothing to fool Carmy, but he wouldn’t force the issue.

“Can you uh, explain to me again how we’re doing, I spaced.” His fingers raised to run through his hair a small grimace painting his face at the grime he could feel left behind on his fingertips.

“Seven weeks out, Carm, and still so much to be done,” An exhausted sigh breathed through Natalie’s lips. The stress opening this restaurant caused felt extremely unnecessary considering her current status.

“No yeah I heard that,” Carmy nodded his head rapidly, Sug’s words slowly coming back to him. He squinted his eyes, hand scratching the grown-out stubble on his chin.  “You uh said something about the DBA getting rejected?”

“About that.” Natalie’s voice trailed off one hand pressing into her abdomen to ease the ache, “The name’s taken.”

Nat watched as Carmy processed the words, her discomfort felt like it was increasing as the seconds passed by.

“Who the fuck could’ve taken the name?” The idea perplexed Carmy. There was no chance another business could have the same name, well there was, it was just slim as hell.

Nat shrugged just as confused as Carmy “It’s been trademarked for years, whoever filed has all legal rights to the name.”

“Fuck me!” The pitch of Carmy’s voice rose along with his irritation.

Natalie’s own mumbled expletive was drowned out by Carmy’s outburst, the nauseating morning sickness she was experiencing came in an extra hard bout today.

“Yo, Sug…Sug. You sure you’re okay?” Carmy’s concern now outweighed his confusion, Nat’s weird behavior this whole morning was beginning to worry him.

“I can do this Carmy right, tell me I can do this.” Natalie’s breathing began to increase as a slight panic flooded through her. Carmy watched her with wide eyes, no idea what she could even be talking about.

“Tell me I can do it, Carm!” The wave of nausea subsided with her yell, Carmy’s hands raised in the air to divert blame.

“Fuck okay! You can do it Sug.”

“I am…completely terrified. And I’m only telling you because..I don’t know. Just-just in case.” Natalie nodded to herself as a way to provide her nerves with courage.

Carmy just stared at Natalie still not following where she was leading this conversation to.

“I really want this to be loving and good and happy,” A smile rose to Nat’s face “I just..I don’t want anyone to know…well besides Baby and now you.”

Carmy’s eyes focused on Sug’s abdomen, the pieces of the puzzle slowly fitting together in his head. The name she spoke felt like it was echoing through his ears.

“Sure” He wasn’t sure how to react to the news, he had always assumed Natalie would be the first of the siblings to start a family. And as the years passed by he knew it was a desire he himself had.

“I really don’t want Richie to know. Because somehow, it feels more in my control when and who knows…” The sound of the wall falling caused Nat to raise her voice as she finished her sentence. “That I’m pregnant.” Her final words were spoken just loud enough to alert the crew to her news.

“I fuckin’ knew it.” The sound of Richie’s shout grated on Nat’s nerves, but the quiet congratulations helped to ease her ire a bit.

Carmy was happy for Sugar, but it felt like it was setback after setback for the restaurant and all the personal issues he was dealing with weren't helping his stress. He felt his shoulders sag a bit mind racing as to how the name could already be trademarked, or who would’ve trademarked it.

His eyes found Richie’s as the man cajoled about how he knew Natalie was pregnant this whole time. Had Richie told someone the name and they took it for themselves? Did Mikey somehow trademark it while on a bender? The thought made Carmy’s head hurt what the fuck even was the point of opening this restaurant if they couldn’t use the name. The name was the epitome of the restaurant.

If you were here Carmy knew you would've given him an analogy for how he was feeling, you would’ve told him he was like Atlas holding up the sky or whatever he did. He shook his head trying to rid himself of thoughts of you, it wasn’t helping him in the least.

As much as he’d rather not converse with Richie, he needed to get to the bottom of this trademark business.

“Yo, Cousin!” The words felt wrong escaping Carmy’s lips the two men avoided each other in the same way you avoided Carmen.

The agitation on Richie’s face was instant, Carmy knew he fucked up with you, but the cold shoulder he was getting from Richie felt unnecessary.

Nat watched as the two men locked eyes, not too keen on playing referee for these two again. She looked in Carmy’s direction as Richie began making his way over, trying to gauge what was going through her little brother's mind.

“Carmen,” Richie nodded in acknowledgment to Carmy. Richie would be lying if he said he wasn’t purposefully using Carmy’s government name to rile him up, he knew how much Carmy hated it when you did it, and since you weren’t here someone had to uphold the tradition.

Carmy felt his eye twitch Richie’s immaturity since the argument with you felt never-ending. “Did Mikey ever trademark the name?”

Richie frowned looking between him and Nat the assumption that he had any goddamn clue laughable “What the fuck did Mikey look like trademarking shit? Wasn’t I just slangin’ crack to keep the lights on?”

Carmy’s eyes shut as Nat let out a quiet gasp, watching as Richie raised his hands in defense. Maybe running a back alley drug ring wasn’t the best for business, but without it, they may not have been in this moment renovating the restaurant.

“Well someone fucking trademarked it, Richie.” The attitude Carmy was catching was wholly unwelcome.

“I don’t like your tone, Carmen,” Richie matched Carmy’s energy giving him what he was getting. “All I’m sayin’ is Mikey didn’t trademark it whoever did might…I dunno hypothetically deserve an apology in return for said documents.”

Carmy was at his wits end with the older man “Oh so you’re the fucking Riddler now.”

“Baby trademarked the name?” Nat’s voice traveled between the trio at the same time as Carmen’s snarky remark. Carmy’s head shot to her, confused as to how she concluded you had anything to do with the conversation at hand.

“Bingo!” Richie’s hands came together in a loud clap Sydney rolled her eyes at the obnoxious man before looking over the various work orders. “She did that shit years ago and gave it to Mikey as a present, he…left it for her when he passed.”

A quiet fell over their small group, each of them taking in the gesture. Richie had only become privy to the present when he went through the office to try and make sense of what the hell Mikey was doing to keep the business up and running. He had knocked a framed picture of your group off the desk cleaning up the mess only to find the folded trademark document in the back of the broken picture frame.

Your name was haphazardly scribbled into the back of it.

Carmen’s chest heaved as he let the news wash over him, it seemed since the two of you had your falling out the universe was continuously pushing him to interact with you. He raised his hand to his face, rubbing it up and down as he added another item to the long list of things going wrong with the restaurant.

In a way, learning that you were responsible for trademarking the name made Carmy’s chest feel warm. It felt like you wanted this for Mikey just as much as he did, the two of you both supporting Mikey in ways the other never knew. It also gave him an excuse to speak with you, not that he needed one. If he was a better man he would’ve already worked up the courage to reach out to you. He could feel a headache coming on the more he thought about trying to fix things with you.

Carmen was sure he’d figure things out soon, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could figure things out with you not by his side. Which he would admit was quite ironic considering all the times he had willingly pushed you away. But being pushed away by you had proven to him just how badly he was screwing things up with you, to hear you be so upset by his actions he basically forced you into confessing your love stung him to his core.

Carmy wasn’t exactly sure what love was supposed to feel like, but he was almost positive it wasn’t this. The ache in his chest from not being around you, looking for you in every crowd he was in. Soaking up any conversation your name was mentioned in. Maybe he did know what love was supposed to feel like, because for all the time he had been in love with you, he had never once felt so completely and utterly broken as he had been since not fighting for your love a year ago like he should have.

“That was Nat,” you looked up as Pete returned to the table, a smile growing on your face at how happy he looked to have been speaking with his wife. “Cat’s out of the bag! Our pregnancy is no longer top secret!”

Pete’s excitement was contagious, your smile growing wider at his pure joy. “Our pregnancy?” You chuckled never having heard anyone refer to it as if the pregnancy was shared.

You watched as Pete sipped the water in front of him, a signature goofy smile back on his face. “Of course! I mean yeah Nat is carrying the baby, but I’m just as pregnant as she is.” You gave Pete a confused look, a laugh bubbling out of you.

“You laugh now Baby, but I’m serious.” Pete paused as the waiter brought out the bread for your table, both of you quickly thanking them. “Nat’s my partner you know? And I’m so grateful for her providing me the opportunity to be a father. Allowing me to build with her, for us to come together and bring a child into this world, it’s a beautiful thing I love her ya know.”

The sheen in Pete’s eyes was enough to make you emotional you didn’t need to hear his explanation to know how much Pete loved Natalie, you could just see it in the way he looked at her, in the way his face would light up when anyone would mention her name or ask about her.

“I’m happy that Nat has someone like you to build a life with.” Both you and Pete shared misty-eyed smiles, chuckles leaving each of you at how emotional the small things made both of you.

“Looks like that dinner you were planning just turned into a full-blown baby shower!” The loud clap Pete’s hands made startled you. “Wow, it really will be a Baby shower!”

You watched as Pete laughed at his own pun, doing your best not to laugh along with him and encourage his bad jokes. The relationship you developed with Pete was a bit weird in the beginning, you weren’t the most open to the idea, and it’s not because you didn’t like Pete, it just felt like you were replacing Mikey.

It took a while before you could look at Pete and realize he wasn’t trying to replace Mikey’s role in your life, and that the drugs and paranoia had driven you to that conclusion. Pete was a great man, standing by Natalie’s side while she fought to keep you alive. Probably being more accepting than someone else may have been when he and Nat decided to help you. Pete and Natalie both put aside their own lives to help you get better, and get back on your feet, and while part of you wished Mikey was around to ground you as well, Pete’s love and kindness didn’t deserve to be taken for granted.

“That dinner was supposed to be a surprise for you too Peter,” you shot him a tiny glare before reaching for some bread. “I just wanted you both to have a nice night off together, no stress.” The reservation had already been made, but thinking about Pete’s words and the excitement when explaining most everyone knew about the pregnancy, maybe it would have been best for an intimate shower for the two soon-to-be parents.

Pete was definitely a family guy and Natalie came from a big family, maybe a shower would be for the best. Surround them with people who loved and supported them and just allow everyone to bask in the happiness the joyous news brought, you were sure everyone could use a break.

“Okay hypothetically say I put together a small shower for the two of you, is that even something Nat would want?” Sure you knew Nat but Pete was her husband and this was their moment, you didn’t want to ambush her with a party she never wanted.

You watched Pete bristle a little, a nervous smile raised to his lips, “I uh I’m not sure if Nat ever told you but she kinda had this…this whole dream about the two of you,” you frowned confused at what Pete was talking about.

“Well not like an unconscious sleeping dream, more like a-an idea?” Pete’s voice rose at the end of his sentence, not sure if the question in his tone was meant for you or him.

“Pete bud you lost me.” You gave him a small nod of encouragement awaiting his response.

“Um so…after your uh…loss,” a sad smile rose to Pete’s lips, you could see the apology in his eyes. “Nat she uh…she confided in me about how she always wanted to be the one to throw you a shower if you ever decided to have children. And if-when we had our own she’d want you to be in charge of hers…if you wanted to not like she would force you.” The nervous huff of laughter from Pete hung in the air for a minute.

The admission perplexed you, Nat had never brought this up to you directly and maybe it was because she felt like she couldn’t. You weren’t the most open when it came to the topic of your miscarriage always avoiding the conversation whenever Nat tried to breach it.

“Baby…you’re the closest thing Natalie has to a sister. I can promise she would be ecstatic no matter what decision you choose.”

You nodded, the motion happened unconsciously as you tried to take in everything Pete had laid on you. Of course, there were things Nat wouldn’t share with you, but while the two of you were like sisters you didn’t expect her to share every little detail with you. As you let Pete’s words digest you couldn’t help the warm feeling beginning to flood through your body, if you were being honest you weren’t sure if it was the best idea to be throwing anyone a baby shower, but you also knew Natalie deserved to be celebrated, not only for the life she and Pete were creating together, but also for all the work she was doing to ensure that The Bear had a fighting chance.

“Okay,” your head continued its up-and-down motion. “Yeah okay let’s do it but I’m going to need your help, Pete.” You watched the smile on his face increase tenfold, your own wide smile spreading your lips due to how contagious Pete’s joy was.

“Anything and I mean anything Baby, I am your guy.” Pete’s giddiness warmed you even more, you didn’t think you had ever been surrounded by anyone with such a positive attitude before. In the beginning, when Natalie and Pete first began dating, his electric personality was a bit much but you found yourself always trying to make Pete feel included, especially with how off-putting the rest of the Berzatto clan could be.

And when you were recovering it was almost like you had to re-acclimate yourself to Pete’s personality. Your recovery was hard, there were some days you weren’t even sure if you wanted to get better or if you wanted oxygen to continue filling your lungs. But Pete was so positive and always looking at life and your situation with a ‘glass half full’ mentality, that his constant belief in you helped to make the hard days easier.

A small sigh escaped your lips as you readied yourself for the question you were about to ask. “Pete, do you think you could give me Carmen’s number?” You tried not to roll your eyes as you saw Pete’s own light up, you were almost positive he would be telling Nat about this topic of conversation. “Before you get any ideas, I just need it to invite him to the shower.” You raised your hands in defense hoping Pete wouldn’t look into this any more than he already was.

“No can do B, the idea train has already left the station.” His fingers drummed on the table with excitement. “But I will do you one better,” you frowned as you watched Pete pick up his phone, fingers skating across the screen before he held it up to show you. A call to Carmen already going through as Pete sent you a thumbs-up.

You looked at the screen eyes wide, the shock temporarily paralyzed for a moment. The quiet sound of the ringing between the two of you brought you back. “Pete! Hang up the phone.” Your voice was terse as you spoke trying not to draw too much attention from other patrons.

Pete laughed, “He never answers my calls anyway.” Pete’s words irritated you, but you were glad to see the call go to voicemail before Pete pressed the end call button and set his phone down.

You let out a surprised laugh, Pete had definitely been too influenced by the Berzattos during his time with Natalie. The little stunt he just pulled was something you knew both Richie and Mikey would do if given the chance.

“Baby?” Your head raised eyes meeting Pete’s, “I know this may sound selfish, but I…I need you to figure out this thing between you and Carmen.” Your eyebrows furrowed the need to defend yourself hitting you full force, you opened your mouth to respond but stopped as Pete raised his hand, a signal to let him continue.

“I know Baby, I know. I’ll be honest with you, as much as I love Nat’s family I think you should’ve given up on Carmen a long time ago.” Your jaw fell slack, and Pete’s eyes widened a bit. “No, no just for your own wellbeing, your peace of mind.” You began nodding as Pete explained himself better. “I just, whatever is going on between you and Carmen, it’s affecting Nat. And she won’t tell you because you deserve to feel how you feel, but with the baby and the restaurant…she doesn’t need to play "Fix it Felix” with you and Carmen right now.”

You let out a small chuckle at Pete’s explanation, over the years he had begun expressing himself to you more. You being the only one on Natalie’s side who actually gave him the time of day and willfully listened to him, helped him to gain more confidence when around the rest of the Berzattos. You reached for your glass of water, taking a long sip before setting it down.

“Thank you, Pete, for being honest,” you sighed, finger playing with the condensation on your cup. “If I’m being honest, it's easy to forget that Nat’s in the middle of everything. She’s so good at pretending it doesn’t affect her.” A rueful smile rose to your lips, as great as a friend as Natalie had been to you through everything, you weren’t sure the same could be said for yourself. “You’re right, Carmen and I are adults, we should be able to figure this out ourselves. I’ll…I’ll call him, figure things out.” You sent Pete a small smile.

Recently it felt like Natalie and Pete nursed you back to health and then for some reason became your surrogate parents. You didn’t think there was anything wrong with leaning on them, the three of you did endure a traumatic experience together so it was understandable. But maybe you had become too comfortable and relied on them too much to ‘fix’ your life. You could understand where Pete was coming from and he had every right to put his wife’s well-being before the feelings of his friends.

You knew Natalie and Pete would be amazing parents and of course, Nat’s fears were valid. But you had seen firsthand just how loving, caring, and kind the couple was, and while that wasn’t all that went into raising a child it was like a part of you just knew that their child would be in great hands.

“Enough about my poor life choices Pete, have you guys thought of any names?” The timing of the question couldn’t have been more perfect, Pete perked up at the question, eyes glazing over with excitement. A waiter stopped by your table to deliver your entrees as Pete began animatedly explaining his and Nat’s process for picking names.

A part of you ached at how happy Pete was, if things were different, maybe in another life you would’ve been able to see that excitement on another man’s face. Maybe the two of you would’ve come up with your own system for picking out names.

You listened as lunch continued, no matter how many times the thought had crossed your mind, you would always be grateful that Natalie had found a partner to love her in the ways she deserved.

 It was silent between you and Cortez as you made your second lap around the block, the church in the distance behind you. Your hands were preoccupied with a warm disposable cup of hot cocoa as Cortez gingerly sipped his choice of tea. This had become the routine for your meetings with your sponsor, the two of you would meet at the bodega a little ways away from the church that housed both AA and NA meetings. Then continue your meeting with a few circles around the block before ending at the church stairs when all was said and done.

The air was tense between the two of you, Cortez hadn’t taken kindly to your decision to skip out on the few check-ins that you had asked for. In the beginning, you were in constant contact with Cortez, feeling the match between the two of you out. As you progressed through recovery and got back into the routine of daily life the daily talks between the two of you began to dwindle as you settled into life as a recovering addict.

But after that initial meeting at The Beef, being in Carmen’s presence again, surrounding yourself with Richie and the life you once knew, the meetings with Cortez picked back up in frequency. And you were doing fine for some time, the man meeting with you when you needed it, always willing to speak with you whenever you asked and it was helpful, god was it helpful. But then you made it to step nine, step eight in the recovery program was its own monster that Cortez helped you through especially when it came to who didn’t need to be on your list.

You made the decision to text Cortez after admitting your faults to Richie. As great as it felt to finally be open with Richie and let him into your life, it also brought with it the urge to use again. Richie had been kind enough to take the bottle of champagne off your hands that night, but the desire to call Fak and ask if Theo had anything he could spare almost won out. But as you scrolled through your contacts the red icon hovering over the voicemail tab brought you back to your senses.

“So your friend Richie knows?” Your eyes shot to Cortez taking in his side profile before focusing back on their attention focused on the steaming paper cup of coffee gripped in their hands.

“Yeah, his daughter kind of spilled the beans.” You nodded playing with the frayed edges of your jeans.

“That’s a bit fucked up don’t cha think?” Cortez’s brows furrowed. “I mean how does his little girl know but he don’t that’s gotta hurt.”

You rolled your eyes, “Aren’t you supposed to like not be judgmental?” Cortez’s laugh felt like it was grating on your ears, as good a sponsor as he was, he had the personality of an annoying older brother you were happy not to have.

“It ain’t even judgment though, it’s an observation.” You didn’t have to be looking at him to know that annoying smirk was on his lips as he shrugged his shoulders.

You stopped as Cortez dropped his now empty cup in a trash bin on the street, “Didn’t know you received your inspector gadget certification.”

“That smart ass mouth is bouta be the reason you out here looking for a new sponsor,” you let out a cackle before taking a much-needed sip of your hot cocoa. “Sound like my daughter with that dumb shit.” If you didn’t know the man who was walking by your side, you would’ve thought he was actually upset, but you could tell by the uptick of his lips he didn’t take anything to heart.

The two of you rounded the corner coming up on the church. You watched as Cortez plopped his long limbs down on one of the steps, opting to sit on the railing. Cortez took out his pack of cigarettes bringing the box to his mouth and removing one before offering the box in your direction. You slipped one out a small laugh escaped you at the irony of everything, how you had once been so against the cancer sticks that those around you would make sure not to smoke around you. And then instead of indulging in a nicotine addiction, you turned to alcohol and prescription pills, the fact that you would smoke a cigarette here and there to appease your urges now felt a bit comical.

You leaned forward allowing Cortez to light your cigarette, “Man ain’t nothin’ like smoking on Big G’s doorstep.” Cortez’s voice filled the silence that had settled over the two of you, you took a drag of the cigarette, a small chuckle escaping you with the smoke.

“I used to hate these fucking things.” The disgust on your face was obvious even as the stick hung from your mouth.

“Why you take one every time I offer 'em’ then?” Cortez switched positions leaning his elbows on the step behind him as he stretched his long limbs out in front of them, offering a wave to the few people entering the church for whatever meeting was scheduled to take place.

You shrugged eyes falling to Cortez’s beat-up boots as you sucked the nicotine deep into your lungs, “They’re the same brand Mikey smoked.”

“Damn ma, that shits kinda sad.” The two of you locked eyes before small laughs left the both of you. You had been around Cortez for so long that you’d picked up on his need to turn most anything into a joke. And while in the beginning, it pissed you off, you realized that’s just who he was and that sometimes being able to laugh in serious moments or at your trauma was helpful.

“Nah seriously though better smokin’ these than messin’ with that shit that hooked you in the first place. Know what I mean?” You nodded, finishing off the cigarette in your hand before taking the second cigarette Cortez offered. You knew how these things went and had spent so much time with the man that you learned to read him. Cortez only ever smoked two cigarettes and offered you two if the conversation was gonna be a rough one.

“Where you at with them apologies?” You sighed letting the man light your cigarette one more time, allowing the fumes to warm your lungs.

You dropped from your seat on the railing, your backside had gone numb. You settled yourself to lean against the railing “I mean I told Richie the truth and there were a lot of apologies in that conversation. But I feel like he deserves a better apology.” You shrugged, your attention dropping to Cortez as he listened.

“Ima be honest wit chu, this might be the hardest part of recovery. Shit I know it was f’me admittin’ to my little girl her father was a fuckin’ junkie. But at the end of the day, you gotta remember this recovery shit is for you. If homeboy loves you like a sister like you say he does, all that should matter to him is that yo annoyin’ ass still here. A’ight, ma?” You listened, nodding along to his words. “All you can do is apologize for the shit you did, you can’t control whether people forgive you or not, and remember ain’t nobody gotta fuck with your apology if they don’t want to.”

You let Cortez’s words settle into you, to anyone else his words may not have seemed genuine but this is just who Cortez was. And you knew no matter how nonchalant he sounded he was speaking every word from his heart.

“You still fuckin with that lil dumbass boy?” The question caused you to choke on the last bit of cocoa in your cup.

“We had a falling out, he’s one of the people I have to apologize to though.” The cigarette between your fingers continued to burn. “There’s a lot I still haven’t told him…the substance abuse, the reasons behind my overdose.” An exhausted sigh pushed its way through your lips. It was like one thing after another when it came to you and Carmy.

“Listen I know we ain’t sposed to have like personal relationships and shit, but lemme know what homeboy looks like I’ll get my goons on em’ for you.” Your head fell back in laughter as Cortez raised his fist to under both of his eyes.

“No goons Cortez, please. Wait, have you ever actually put a hit on somebody before?” You obviously didn’t know Cortez as well as you would have if the two of you were friends. But it wasn’t hard to tell that he would get down if need be.

“Why someone say somethin’?” The two of you shared a laugh, the now more frequent people entering the church signifying that your time together was coming to an end.

“Aight, I gotta head in, get shit set up in there. But ima send you the info for Nar-Anon you give that shit to people who still choose to put up with yo ass. You comin' in?”

You shook your head sending him a small smile, “I came to the morning meetings today.”

You nodded in thanks as Cortez stood up, pushing yourself off the railing. You placed the cigarette between your lips leaving your hands open to do the handshake Cortez insisted you did after each meeting. When he first introduced it you were still getting used to the idea of being a recovering addict and thought he was fucking crazy. But you realized he used it as a way to break the serious desolate feeling that some of these meetings ended on, to help bring some light to what was such a dark reality.

At least that’s how he explained it to you, but you were sure he just liked doing the handshake his daughter helped him come up with.

“Ima see you when I see you ma stay straight.” You chuckled before turning on your heel to head to your parked car. Putting the bud of the cigarette out against the trash bin you passed. It was still early, enough time for you to knock out some baby shower shopping before it got too late.

Carmen stopped in his tracks, eyes finding your figure across the street. You were in front of the church that held the Al-Anon meetings he told you about. Maybe you would be attending the one he was here for, his eyes traveled to the man sitting on the steps you were talking to eyebrows furrowing as he realized the vapors leaving your mouth weren’t from your warm temperature, but instead the stick you had raised to your mouth.

“Baby?” The question left his lips in a quiet whisper, he knew it was you standing across the street but it had been a few weeks since your last interaction he was sure he had imagined you. But he would know you anywhere, by scent alone. He couldn’t help the shock at watching you smoke, something you had been so opposed to since the two of you were children. Even going so far as telling Carmy you couldn’t be friends when he smoked his first cigarette at 15, the stalemate barely lasted a day after you realized how dumb the idea was.

Carmy watched as the two of you stood up, his hopes to see you inside dwindling as he watched the two of you begin to part ways, an intricate handshake taking place before you turned to leave. He watched as your figure disappeared around the corner, a quiet ‘shit’ leaving his lips before he darted across the street trying to catch you before you were gone for good.

“Baby! Hey!” His shouts were useless, you were too far gone to have even heard him. “Fuck!” One hand raised to sit on the bill of his cap, the universe seemed like it was doing everything in its power to keep the two of you apart. Or maybe it was just the way things were meant to be.

Carmy turned to see the man you were with still standing in the same spot you left him, eyes narrowed as he took in Carmy’s figure. The man eyed Carmy for a moment longer, sending a head nod his way before turning and entering the church. Carmy was tempted to follow the man and ask about you, but whatever your relationship with the unknown man was, it was none of Carmy’s business.

He sighed eyes shooting up to the sky before taking a deep breath and making his way inside, not wanting to be late and disturb the Al-Anon meeting before it began. Carmy made his way to the room where the meeting usually took place, eyes landing on the same man from outside once more as he greeted members, the sign near the door he stood by signifying it was an NA meeting. Carmy stopped for a moment, eyes darting between the man and the sign he’d just read.

“You lost kid?” Carmy looked at the man brown furrowed as he shook his head, he sent a tight smile the man's way before walking two doors down for his own meeting. Carmen’s brain felt like it was racing a mile a minute. If you weren’t coming to the Al-Anon meeting, why were you here? And why were you talking with someone who appeared to be leading NA meetings?

The vibrating of his phone caught his attention, the device easily slipped out of his pocket. He felt the air leave his lungs as your name flashed across his screen, he realized just how indecent setting that Polaroid picture of you with his chain on might have been now that he was in public, but it’s not like he ever thought you’d call him.

How’d you even get his number?

“Carmen, hey, we’re about to start your coming?” His head shot up to one of the usual who attended these meetings and would talk to him on occasion.

“Yeah uh, just give me a minute.” Carmy gave a tight smile, eyes flashing back to his phone finger moving to swipe across the screen, the call abruptly ending before he even got the chance to hear your voice. Carmen was sure he had the worst luck in the world, a defeated sigh leaving him, he was almost positive there was no chance you were calling him back.

Quickly putting his phone on Do Not Disturb and in the safety of his jacket pocket, he entered the meeting, as much as he wanted to drop everything and fix things with you. He wasn’t even sure what you had called him for. Carmen also knew it was for the best to attend the meeting,

Carmen was sitting in his car allowing it to warm up as he waited. The skyline began to reflect the sunset, the time on the dashboard letting him know it was around dinner time. He fished his phone out of his pocket mindlessly checking the notifications he’d gotten while in the meeting.

Carmy’s brows furrowed at the flurry of messages he received from a group chat he wasn’t aware he was a part of. He frowned as he opened it, your contact is one of the many in the text chain. The only contact with a photo was yours, making you easily distinguishable, he realized the rest of the people in the chat were the restaurant crew. He scrolled through the messages eyes reading over your message with details about a baby shower, your address included.

Carmy exited out of his messages, unsure of how things were between the two of you. It had been three weeks since the argument and neither of you had tried contacting the other. But here he was with a message from you, and a missed call and he wasn’t sure how to take any of it.

He decided it was a good idea to call you back, and try and feel out the atmosphere between the two of you. His heart felt like it was stuttering in his chest as his finger hovered over his screen; you left him a voicemail. He needed to know what the message said, but a part of him was also worried he might not like what he heard, he had hurt you too many times to count, and if whatever you had to say to him broke him down more than he already was, well then he was sure he deserved it.

Carmen took one last deep breath before clicking on the voicemail and raising the phone to his ear, heart pounding in his chest as he heard the sweet whisper of your voice.

‘Hey Carmen, uh it’s me…Baby. Not sure why I introduced myself. I'm sure you know it’s me.” Carmy let out a watery chuckle at the sound of your voice, even if he hadn't saved your number the delicate timber of your voice would’ve been enough for him.

“Listen uh, I got your number for Pete. I hope you don’t mind, I know you have issues with girls actually having your number…Sorry, that was actually kind of rude. Anyway, I uh…Pete helped put things in perspective for me and I, I think we need to talk Carmen. I’m not sure when or if you even want that, but I think we both deserve a chance to explain our side of things. I um…I also have some things I think you should know. Just, if this is something you’re interested in, you have my number.” Carmen felt his heart rate slow down your words, nothing more than a piece offering.

“I just want to be clear though, um..if I don’t hear back from you, I’m going to take that as a sign. So yeah, call me back or something I guess.” The line finally went silent, your voice no longer caressing Carmy’s ears.

It felt like he was having heart palpitations but he knew it was just his nerves getting the best of him. He pulled the phone away from his ear, the time on his phone reading 5:30 p.m. Carmy quickly opened the group chat scrolling through to find your address and open it up in maps. You lived about 30 minutes from where he was, he was confident he could get there in 20 and spare the 10 minutes at a store near you.

Carmen made his decision as he set his phone down in the cup holder before beginning his journey. The ball was in his court, you had given him an olive branch and it was up to him whether he accepted it or not. He was nervous, maybe showing up at your house to cook you dinner wasn’t his most thought-out plan but he needed you desperately, needed to see you, be in your presence, and know that there was still a chance of something more between the two of you.

The hope Carmy felt when he saw you calling him earlier was now back tenfold: the pendant delicately resting against his chest felt warm. Carmen was adamant that he would admit his love for you tonight, unsure if he could go another day living with the fact that you were in love with him, but you still didn’t know just how much he had always loved you. You were so blissfully unaware that since he could remember, you had been the one and only option in his mind.

a/n: wowza, long time no see. i apologize that this is a bit of a filler chapter but it felt kinda necessary idk. anway please let me know if there are any problems with this chapter it's barely edited. enjoy : )

also also: both richard cabral as coco in mayans and manny montana as rio in good girls inspired cortez the sponsor, but head canon him as whoever you want…okay bye now 🤍

[lurkingteapot]

Only Friends เพื่อนต้องห้าม Ep 4

Nearly two weeks late and I'm finally, finally getting around to catching up with my favourite mess.

Live watch notes!

Oh wow, we're starting out right away on the heavy stuff, huh

oh god Khaotung's acting, He's so good.

there's that word again, "burden"

thank fuck Mew cottoned on to this being a goodbye

I somehow fully expected Ray to just drop the phone into the tub

he's sitting in the EMPTY tub??? was this just for mess prevention? oh Ray, oh baby.

No, love, no, your mum did not die because of you.

HELL YEAH CHEUAM'S A LESBIAN (sorry, I'm just so excited to hear a girl actually SAY it) (but also Ray being a hit with the wlw tracks)

ooh wait wait, these shirts-- is this the make-out night?

also Ray I get you probably don't mean it like that, but you're sorta … guilt-tripping Mew here.

love the way this kinda tells us audience members a) the backstory of Ray taking that call b) that Mew's rejected Ray before c) that Ray was so desperately seeking connection that he came off weirdly manipulative about it

GOD Khaotungggg

this is shot very prettily but also what the fuck, Boston, is EVERYTHING blackmail material to you

adfsadfa LOVE Mew calling Ray out on the shirt

sleepover!!

"not your type" huh. HUH.

Ray really is hung up on him, huh.

Proud of Mew for setting that boundary.

Sand is not buying it.

Oh Sand, oh Sand.

Ooop put your foot in it

Nick, what are you lying to Sand about that?

oof "he's not normal, his reputation is bad"

oh man the employees all wai'ing the boss's son … urgh god I hate rich people, sorry Top I'm sure you're not actually that bad but URGH (also yes I'm aware of the double standard I've got going here, the way just-as-rich-kid Ray is my little meow meow)

wait, is this the photo booth where Top and Boston made out?

is this just a common architecture feature in spensive hotels, or is this the same hotel they shot Chaan's apartment in LoA with?

ooooh that plane is Boston's, isn't it

Ray and Sand may be doomed by the narrative but I love every second I get out of them anyway.

I love Sand so muchhhh

First is really good at that searching eye contact thing

ถ้ามึงอยากเป็นเพื่อนกับกูอยู่นะ คิดถึงความรู้สึกกูบ้าง BOUNDARIES we love to see them

the way they put the asshole angle on Boston here, I love it

oooh you made Boston mad just now

hookups so you can sleep, hookups to let off steam

oh man, Nick, oh man, this is not okay behaviour and you KNOW it

"I can't" -> the way it's put in Thai is กูไม่สดวก which is basically 都合が悪い but feels like 困る. Gotta ask teacher about that one.

is this why physical pictures are all you deal with, or are you just … talking out your ass because you know Nick is dtf either way for a bit yet

Mark Pakin, the actor you are

this is not news but I'd like to reiterate that I love how we have Rich Boys and Poor Boys are a theme here

asdfadfasdf "stay away from Boston" Nick, Top's been TRYING

but oh man Top is an arrogant ass. like. scary slick.

Ohhhh wow Nick, wow, wow wow. at least you're self-aware? ish?

Oh fuck of course he ran over Sand

Go go go Sand

oooof there's history here, I see. I still think it's about someone Sand liked before.

I really hope Sand's bike is fine

Nickkkkk how about you don't lie to Sand? but urgh you're also getting him in trouble which. ooof I can see this making things really complicated for him and Ray going forward.

Sand is like "oh bruv NO"

CALLED IT

Mew is so unimpressed. I'm impressed with Ray for owning up to it though, and for apologising – it's so easy to fall into the "I'm an awful person and they'll hate me anyway" spiral.

okay so at least Sand and Ray can bond over hating Top

Mew, please get mad about Top being a controlling ass like that

You've got nothing to hide, right, Top? Right?

sooo was that Not Mew in the car with Ray, then? Photoshop?

oh we're going here, huh

oh wait, was that him again just now?

that's a really good line to draw, Mew, and also you've got an excellent point about addiction here

oh man oh man oh man I'm really liking Mew more and more this ep and Top is doing nothing to endear himself to me.

oh man, someone's gonna drink that water and it's going to be a Situation™

Top, you asshole, if you could not question every single one boundary Mew sets, that'd be ace

so the thing is. Top. Why would you think Mew would believe that? you talk big.

!! this is a song from the playlist!!

fuck, Sand is so gone on him alreadyyyy, I really thought he had more distance than that, but nope nope nope

I continue to be so impressed with this show. The preview is nerve wracking, but I'm going to be strong and only watch that when I've got another 5k or so of work words done. One more ep, and then I'll have a day to wade into the tag! EXCITED.