#I hate ch*ritz

[majunju]

going thru ur mysme tag bc i miss jihyun sm </3 the way u draw him >>>>>

i miss him too :(( thank u for loving my jihyuns ❤️

[storiesofsvu]

Censured Ch 13

Warnings: Language, talk of eating disorders.

**

The hospital had kept you overnight for observation, you’d smashed your head on the bar on the way down and they wanted to make sure everything there was okay, and that you were actually eating and get your nutrition levels back up to where they should have been. Casey was adamant to stay by your side, but you ushered that you were fine and she could leave (which she ended up having to due to arraignment anyways). Rita had been in communication with your girlfriend, happy to hear that everything was okay, and you were more than happy to see the familiar face of Nurse Ally, who’d been the one to drop off the Ritz crackers. She’d worked your original case back when you were admitted at 12, and tried to always keep in touch, especially if your name popped up on the patient list.

Casey was there when you were discharged, you were deemed in perfect health from the doctors, advising you to take a Tylenol if you had headaches from the wound. Benson had given you the rest of the week off, making sure that you would tell her if you needed more time, or desk duty before returning fully to work (you hadn’t told her the details, but she knew you’d been injured). Casey pushed as much caseload as she could off on her fellow A.D.A.’s, the cases she couldn’t pass off simply came home with her and if anyone needed something, she said they could come to the apartment instead, it wasn’t that far from Hogan Place. 

You were healing pretty quickly, the bruising and goose egg on your forehead nearly completely gone, merely a butterfly bandage as insurance remained. You were eternally grateful for how wonderful Casey had been during all of this, you’d mentioned it to her constantly, thanking her for not judging you on the secrets of your past. She was quick to rebottle that you weren’t the only one who had them, and to not worry about it. It piqued your interest, but you let it settle for a few hours before she opened up to you about her ex fiancee and the issues she’d dealt at his hand. You hated that she felt slightly responsible, and you reminded her that she wasn’t at fault for anything that happened to you. You sent yourself down that spiral, as long as she kept loving you, that was all that you needed.

Three days after you were discharged you and Casey were buried on the couch marathoning your most recent binge, you’d gotten up to grab another drink when there was a knock at the door. You sighed, figuring it was someone who needed Casey for work, your hand pulled the door open and you were hit with a huge surprise.

“SONNY!!!” You launched yourself into his arms, literally koala bear hugging around him, burying your head into his neck, “I fucking missed you.” Your voice came out muffled against his suit, he laughed softly, hugging you tightly in his arms.

“I missed ya too Doll.” He gave a wave to Casey as she greeted him from the couch, kicking the door shut behind him. He wasn’t surprised when you continued to cling to him as he shucked his shoes, moving into the apartment. When he placed you down on the kitchen island was when you finally pulled away.

“Hi…” You grinned, his face immediately fell, taking in the healing cut.

“What happened?” The guilt nearly shot into his chest, he’d been undercover and unable to properly have your back, he’d hate himself if you got hurt on the job.

“Oh…uhmmm…” You hung your head a bit, noticing that Casey had made her way to your side, squeezing your thigh reassuringly, “I may have fainted at the club…my head hit the bar on the way down.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Sonny, I’m fine.” You gave him a grin, your hand reaching into his gelled hair, playfully messing it, “I promise!” Carisi risked a glance over to Casey, she gave him a small smile and a nod, confirming your story.

“Good.” He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, and a brief hug to Casey, “Sorry I missed so many dinners, I hope this makes up for it.” You’d been so surprised you hadn’t even noticed the bag over his shoulder. He pulled out a couple of bottles of wine, followed by two casserole pans, moving towards the oven to preheat it. With ease he moved around your kitchen, pulling three wine glasses out and pouring each of you one. Casey settled leaning against the counter between your legs, you promptly wrapped yourself around her. 

“You extra hungry after that UC gig or what?” You joked, gesturing to the two lasagnas he’d brought with him, Sonny laughed at that.

“I figured your fridge was pretty empty, thought you could use the extra leftovers.” Conveniently he stepped over to place the white wine in the fridge, surprised at the fact that it was full, and of actual food, not just take out boxes. He looked up at you with a quirked brow.

“Casey made me go grocery shopping…” You smiled, giving her neck a soft kiss. Carisi let out a laugh, 

“Well Novak, I hope you’re a good cook so all this doesn’t go to waste.” Casey turned, giving you a knowing look, you’d discussed opening up to Sonny already, considering you were practically as close to him as you were to her.

“About that…” You cringed slightly,

“What ya want me ta cook up a bunch stuff for ya?” 

“Sonny…” The softness in your voice made him freeze his movements, turning to face you, “In all honestly, I’m actually a pretty good cook…I’ve even taken some gourmet food classes.” His brows furrowed, leaning against the counter behind him, arms crossed.

“Calhoun said the best thing you could make was barely edible spaghetti…” Of course, fucking Rita. You knew she was just watching out for you, you admired her ferocity to make sure that you stayed healthy.  Normally you would’ve laughed at his comment, but today you simply took a generous swig of your wine. Casey gave your leg a supportive squeeze. 

“Rita was just looking out for me…” You started, “She was actually my legal guardian, I…I dealt with some pretty rough shit growing up…” You looked up at Sonny, his brows were furrowed, still not understanding, you sighed, happy to feel Casey’s arm wrap around you “Sonny, I had a really, really bad eating disorder from the time I was about 10 until 19. It nearly killed me..twice..” You watched his face soften, those baby blues filling with concern, “It still flare’s up from time to time. I mentioned something to Rita about how good of a cook you were and she knew that was an easy way to make sure I didn’t forget to eat….that’s…why I passed out at the club. No one else but Casey knows, but I figured it was time I tell you…”

You gave Carisi a few moments to process everything, it only took a second for him to drop the dishcloth, two steps taken to wrap his lanky arms around both you and Casey tightly. He buried his head into your hair, squeezing both of you the best he could.

“Sweetheart I’ll cook ya every meal of every day if ya need me to.” His voice was muffled against your skin, Casey gave out a laugh at his comment, he pulled back, looking at her, “You apply to this too ya know.” She gave him a soft smile, squeezing his arm. “I’m so glad you’re okay…” He gave a gentle kiss to the non bruised side of your head, turning to Casey, “Thank you for takin’ care of her.” It was a surprise to her when he kissed her head as well before moving back to the oven.

“I should be thanking you, you’re the one who brought us two lasagnas!” 

“Yeah, well who says I’m not gonna eat a whole one?” His usual smirk was back on his lips as he placed the pans in the oven.

The three of you moved into your usual Tuesday night mood, swaying through conversation with ease. Carisi asked how things had been at the precinct, resulting in both of you groaning, rolling your eyes with just how overworked everyone had been. He apologized profusely, which of course you countered with the fact that he was still working, whereas Amaro had brought his personal life into work and been suspended because of it. You mentioned your torturous partnership with Amanda, and Carisi suggested coming clean to her, most of your work friends already knew (or assumed) that you were with Casey anyways. It wasn’t like you were ashamed of anything you’d told Rollins multiple times there was nothing going on with Sonny, but you figured she’d still be jealous of your friendship. The three of you were a few glasses of wine in when Sonny started plating up food, lost in conversation and laughter sitting around the kitchen island. You almost missed the sound of the key in the door, your head shooting up, not surprised when Rita entered your apartment. It was almost strange to see her so casual, a pair dress pants and casual tee, her hair half loose. 

“Bold of you to use your key.” You smirked, she rolled her eyes, 

“You just never stop, do you?” Closing the door behind her, “I could hear a man’s voice, figured that meant you weren’t having another orgy.” You cackled out a laugh at that. She crossed over to you, pulling you into a deep hug that you returned heavily, before examining your face, “You okay?” You smiled, 

“Yes. I’ve got an excellent support system…” You squeezed her hand, “Including you…thank you.” She could see the ghost of tears forming in your eyes, knowing just how much your relationship had grown over the years. You weren’t mad about her revealing information to Casey, or to hinting off Carisi, you loved your Aunt just as much as you loved them. “Take a seat!” You gestured, pouring a glass of wine for her, 

“Counsellor, you want a piece?” Carisi asked from the stove, gesturing the the food, Rita laughed at that, 

“You can call me Rita…we’re not at work…” Carisi practically blushed, not really knowing what to do with the situation as he plated her the food.

**

The four of you settled into a relaxed and casual environment over the next few hours, Casey was already used to Rita being around, it took Sonny a little bit more time to relax. But once he remembered just how normal this was, and that Calhoun saved your life more than once, he slipped into a sense of comfortability. You were simply to have your three favourite people in one room, laughing and chatting with each other like it was nothing. Rita was more than quick to share stories from your youth, much to your great embarrassment and the pure glee from the other two people in the apartment. You were pretty quick to fire back with a few memories of her first couple of years as an attorney, which held a couple of embarrassing stories too. A few hours in and Rita made her departure, making sure to give you a tight hug and kiss on the cheek, telling you to call her if you needed anything before she softly thanked the other two for keeping an eye on her favourite person.

Sonny, Casey and you moved over to the couch for your usual Netflix marathon, with Sonny being gone for nearly a month you had more than a few episodes to catch up on. Casey propped herself up against the arm of the couch while you settled in between her legs, curled against her chest while Sonny sprawled across the other end, inevitably entangling with both of your legs. The hand not wrapped around Casey found it’s way to Carisi’s calf, (the couch wasn’t huge and neither of them were exactly short) while Casey’s hands fell to your hair.

A few episodes in and Carisi could see your eyelids start to flutter, quietly chuckling to himself, he nudged you with his foot, 

“Ya gettin’ sleepy doll?”

“No..” You murmured, aiming a kick towards him as Casey kissed the top of your head, “Just need to finish this episode…need to know what happens..” Your eyes were already closed, clearly just trying to continue to hear the show to figure out what was going on. It was less than a minute later when Casey felt your breathing regulate, she glanced across the couch at Carisi,

“She’s out isn’t she?” He smirked in response, taking in your sleeping form, little smile curled across you lips as you were curled against Novak.

“Like a light…”He stood, moving from the couch, “You want me to move her to the bed?” 

“No..” Casey shook her head, thankful for the help, “I’ve got her.”

“You most certainly do.” Sonny still leaned down to kiss the top of your head, giving Casey a shoulder squeeze, “I should get goin’, night Casey.”

“G’night Sonny. Thanks for the food.” He smiled back from the doorway, nodding to her, the reassurance that he would always be there for the two of you, no matter what.

[elysiashelby]

In Another World - T. Shelby Imagine Ch. 11

Paring: (Eventual) Thomas Shelby x Aliena Welsh (OC) 

Fandom: Peaky Blinders 

Word Count: 8,081 

WARNINGS: Angst, Alcohol Consumption, Cursing, Brief Mention of Intimate Situations (smut HINTED, like joke about), Sexual Harassment

Summary: It’s a few weeks after the season 1 finale, Aliena finds herself lost within the family dynamic and her place in the their world. She’s no longer a nanny to John’s kids, Finn is rebelling against school work, and she finds herself done with her cleaning- fairly quickly. How will she deal with this restlessness? How will she cope in a world that’s not her own?

MASTERLIST  CHAPTER 10  CHAPTER 12

A/N: This chapter doesn’t have a lot of Tommy in it. This is the beginning of Aliena’s detachment from the Shelby Family. Thomas will be mentioned frequently, but he most likely have the bare minimum of involvement. 

It’s been abar two weeks since Tom killed Billy Kimber. Everything is...different. I can’t put it into words. Me place within the family is undefined. Since John’s married, I’m no longer needed to take care of the kids. Now, I knew this but he and Esme made it official. 

I wasn’t to be ‘round unless they called. 

I understood. I mean Esme is a new wife and they are in their honeymoon stage. Going at it like rabbits. I felt bad for the kids. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I only see them when they come ‘round the house.

Luckily, they are warming up to Esme. There wasn’t any bad blood in the first place, but— you just never know when a new wife comes into the picture. 

I was still teaching Finn, but since I didn’t have any other students, I was really grilling into him. He’s beginning to hate school even more. It’s just that I practically have nothing to do!

I don’t have to clean two places anymore. I just clean the main house and I kept on top of me tasks all the time, so that means I practically don’t have anything to do! That’s where Finn comes in. I assigned him more homework and reading, but he doesn’t want anything to do with it.

Especially after doing Kimber over, the boy idolizes Tom too much. 

So, here I am at me special place just relaxing. Letting the wind go through me hair was always welcomed. I was just swinging and adamantly trying not to think. I took in me surroundings. But, that soon came to an end when I started to get nauseous.

I put me feet down and stopped. I didn’t get up, though. I just sat there, silently. I reach down and started running me hands through the tips of the grass. I sang to meself “I just want to be the one you love.” I sang ‘til even that gave me a headache. 

I sighed and stopped singing. I sat up straight and hopped off the swing. I took two steps back and just appreciated the nice breeze. I tucked a piece of hair that was in me face and started walking back home. 

It didn’t feel nice walking by meself for so long. I mean it was nice at first, but then I started getting paranoid. Worried that I would just get pinched off the side of the road. Only when me feet hit the familiar cobblestone, did I feel safe. 

Safe under the Peaky Blinders’ protection. What if I’m no longer needed? Do they just give me money and send me on me way? Do I just go and mooch off of Cassie? I mean, technically, didn’t they have that right?

I stopped walking and took the time to massage me temples.

“Are you all right, love?” asked a concerned woman.

I picked up me head and put on a smile. It was fake, of course, but polite. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” 

We exchanged smiles and nods and I went on me way. The second I wasn’t facing her, me smile fell. I was starting to feel lethargic again. That was also a bad sign. 

By the time I reached the front door, I was feeling a lot of things at once. I was annoyed, tired, hungry, and lost. I sighed again while opening the door. It was probably abar six in the evening. I took the pins out of me hat and hung it up. Then, I had to put those same pins in me mouth as I took off me coat. I hung that up as well. 

I took those pins from me mouth and placed them in a pocket in me skirt. I dusted off me hands and walked into the kitchen. I was gonna start making dinner. Decided shepherd's pie would do everyone some good. 

As I was cooking Arthur came in. How did I know it was him, you ask? He brings along the stench of sweat and booze, of course. 

“Whatcha cookin’ there, Ali?” Arthur asked before he took a seat down at the table. He took off his cap and smooth down his hair.

I smiled. “I’m cooking some shepherd’s pie.”

“Ah, thank fuck! When’s it gonna be ready?” 

I shrugged. “Not long now. Are you gonna stay or do I need to hound you down like the rest of your family?”

He sniffed. “Nah, I’ll be in me office.” The chair scraped against the floor as he got up, and then he left the room.

I turned back ‘round and grumbled to meself, “So, I’m chasing ya down like the rest of them.” I took a step back and leaned on the table. I rubbed me forehead and exhaled audibly. Eventually, I sat down ‘til the scran was ready. 

I got three plates, put two forks in me pocket, and cut out three slices for the family members I knew where in the shop. I took only two, though. Using me bum, I opened the doors to the shop and heard the bustling of men.

Not men looking to lay bets, but employees shifting to count up bets and such. I walked past them all. Esme was sitting at a desk as was Polly. I walked up to Polly.

“Dinner, Pol.” I said, rather monotone. 

She looked up at me ‘n smiled. “Thank you, love. Leave it there.”

I nodded and set it down at the edge of her desk. As I took a fork out of me pocket, I asked. “Happen to know where Tommy is?” I set it on the plate.

She picked up her head again, but was gazing somewhere else in thought. Her finger pressed against her lip. “I think he’s doing some business. Talking up plans with the architect that’s designing the company headquarters. Better leave him a slice for him to get on his own. Don’t go chasing him at this time of night.”

I nodded and walked over to Arthur’s office while placing a fork on his plate. I knocked and he told me to come in.

“Here ya are!” I said as I placed his food beside him.

 He made some breathy noise of excitement before saying, “About damn time. I was about to chew me arm and leg off. Thanks, Ali.”

A quick smile flashed on me face and I said, “Your welcome” before leaving. It turns out I had another slice to cut. So, I served John and Esme some dinner. Finn was out and abar. Polly said to just let him be. That he was being a child, so I just ate by meself at the kitchen table. 

While I was eating, the phone was ringing off the hook. I rushed to it and answered. 

“Hello, this is 6 Watery Lane?”

“A call from suite 226 at the Ritz Hotel. A Ms. Cassiopeia Johnson for Ms. Aliena Welsh. Do you accept?”

“Yes, I accept.”

“Connecting you now.”

I sighed and twirled me finger ‘round to wire.

“Ali! Are you free tonight?” Cassie shouted through the phone.

I clutched me forehead. “Yeah and every other night. Why?”

“Feel like going to a party?”

Me eyes widened and anxiety shot through me body. I looked ‘round as if I was going to get in trouble for ‘aving this conversation.

“I- uh. I’m not sure, Cass.”

She groaned exaggeratedly. “Come on, Aliena. You said it yourself, you have nights off now. So, let’s go to a party.”

I scoffed. “What kind of party?”

“Don’t worry! It’s casual. The girls and I are going down to the London clubs, and we wanted you to come. So, don’t wear any of those extravagant dresses Angie bought you. Wear something you can sweat in.”

I rolled me eyes while wearing a smirk. “Cass, you and me have different definitions of clothes we can sweat in, but yeah— I get your meaning. Okay, let me just make sure, okay? Stay on the phone.”

“Okay, hurry up.”

I left the phone off the hook and sped walked back into the shop. I walked up to Polly.

“Hey, Polly. Is it alright if I go out?”

Her head snapped up and her face contorted in confusion. “Go out? With who?”

“Me friends. Cassie, Angie, Tina. I’ve told ya abar them before.”

Her eyes darted from side to side then she nodded. “All right. Before careful, love, all right. Don’t be out too late. You get into any trouble call Tommy or the house. Be safe.” She stood up, smooth me hair down, and kissed me cheek.

I couldn’t help the grin on me face as I thanked her and ran back to the phone. 

“She said yes! I’m gonna go get ready.”

Cassie squealed into the phone. “Yay! We are going to have so much fun!” 

I hung up the phone and raced into me room. I slammed the door behind me and threw open me closet. I took out any “party” dresses that I had hung up. 

I wanted to look absolutely breathtaking.

Between abar five different dresses, I decided on a navy blue dress. Your typical 1920’s design. 

I quickly threw off me previous clothes and even me undergarments. I went to me drawers and found black stockings and a garter belt to match. I had to go through a different drawer to get a black bra. When I finished putting those on, I scrambled to stand in front of me mirror. 

I had to back up a lot to see me whole body in it. I stared for a while. Looking for imperfections. I turned to me side and pinched me stomach. I had a little bump, but I didn’t find meself demeaning meself as usual. I felt...sexy.

I squealed at meself and bent over into meself. Me hair flying as I did so. After I had me little moment, I stood back up, me hair flipping back, and kept me hand over me mouth. I dropped it and went to put on the dress.

Once I had it on, I sat at me desk in front of me mirror and began to do me makeup. I went more for a blue smokey eye to match me dress.  I didn’t add any contour or blush, but I added highlight and a pink nude lip. I blew meself a kiss and got up. I walked back to me closet and bent down to open the drawer at the bottom. 

I picked out me black purse. I opened its doors and took out me four-inch black heels. I put them on and hiked the purse up me shoulder. Then, I was stuck waiting for Cassie’s honk.

As I waited, I kept brushing out me hair. I knew I would look like the odd women out with hair as long as mine, but I didn’t care. I liked how I looked. With me finger, I touched up me lipstick slightly when I heard that infamous honking.

A shit-eating grin spread across me face and I raced out the door. When I made it out the door, Cassie was standing there waiting for me.

We shrieked when we saw each other and ran into each other’s arms. We laughed as we swayed each other. 

“Oooh, I’m so glad you decided to come.” Cassie sighed and pushed me back a little while maintaining our hug. “Look at you! Oh, Angie, Tina! Look at our baby. All grown up.”

She used me shoulders to guide me in front of the car. Angie clapped before bringing her hands over her mouth. Tina was just all smiles. 

I was so hyped up that I couldn’t stop the ugly smile on me face. While fanning meself, I begged. “Guys, stop! Let’s just get this show on the road!”

I climbed into the car and Cassie followed suit.

Their hands were all over trying to inspect all of me outfit. I fought off their hands, eventually.

“Okay, okay, enough! Which club are we going to?”

Cassie looked at Angie as did Tina. Angie made eye contact with the both of them before she bugged out her eyes.

“What?” She shouted then sighed, defeatedly. “I mean, we can start with the one we frequent the most. It’s real nice there. Shiny.” Angie said that last part in a childish voice while looking at me.

I glared at her before grumbling, “Shut it.”

I may have disclosed me affliction for shiny things. 

The rest of the ride was filled with mindless chatter. Just catching up with what has happened in our lives. 

Tina shuffled over to me eventually and took me hand in hers. She was playing with me nails. 

“How are things with you and Thomas?” She asked me softly. Her eyes flicked up to mine before looking back at me nails.

I hummed while sighing deeply. “Well, we’re not the same. He’s just so much busier now. It’s a win in itself that we’re not at odds with each other, but I wish it was like before Grace. We were so close. Well, I was closer to him than he was with any of his family members.” I leaned closer to her ear and whispered. “We slept in the same bed for Christ’s sake.” 

She gasped while looking into me eyes, horrified.

I knew she wasn’t gonna take it well. I gave her a sheepish smile. “It was nothing indecent. I swear! Thomas has trouble sleeping because of the war. I put him to sleep while talking to him and sometimes he would talk to me too.” I looked off thinking abar all the moments we shared.

Tina said nothing for a while ‘til she asked. “So, are you two in a good place or not?”

I rolled me eyes. “If you’re looking for a direct answer then, yes. Yes, we’re in a good place.”

Her cheeks turned red and she gave me a sheepish smile. I softly scoffed. 

The car stopped and we all hopped off. I followed them as they walked into the club. The doormen greeted them and opened the door for us. 

Angie clapped her hands and turned toward me. “What are you drinking?” She asked me.

I shrugged me shoulders. “I’ll drink whatever youse drink.” 

She rolled her eyes before she turned back ‘round and toward the bar. I mocked her expression as she walked away. Cassie linked me arms with hers and began to lead me to a table.

We sat down and I set down me purse. Cassie did the same, but dug through her purse for a ciggie. She propositioned me for one and I took one.

“Wow! Look at you!” Cassie said with her jaw dropped, a smile fighting for its place. “Just going all out tonight, are you?” She then cackled to herself.

I giggled at her as I held the stick between me teeth. I fished through me purse and found me lighter. I’m not familiar with the types of lighters, but if I had to describe this one— it would be a lift arm. I think it was anyway. There was a time where I did research types of lighters for a story, but I wasn’t expecting to remember on the fly.

Oh, how I miss the internet!

I flicked the wheel and inhaled. I pushed the arm back down, snuffing out the flame then tossed it on the table. I took the ciggie from me lips and let out the smoke.

“So,” I began to ask. “What do you guys usually do?” I looked ‘round saw people dancing, talking. The room was super loud. I was, in a way, used to it, but it hurt me ears at the same time.

The dances were so old, to me. They danced like animals, but I saw a couple of tangos. Some were doing the Charleston. 

I would never experience modern clubs. Grinding against strangers and jumping like nobody was watching. Loud music pumping through speakers. Hell, club music! Electronic music, or for Christ’s sake— music with words! I would never get to listen to the music that got me blood pumping and made me feel like the most attractive woman in the room. 

Cassie chuckled before she puffed out a cloud of smoke. “Well, first, we have a drink or two. To take off the edge, then we dance.”

I looked over at Tina who nodded and smiled. I scoffed playfully before blowing raspberries. Angie came over, a bottle and drinks in hand, and a ciggie hanging off her lips. Tina shot up from her seat and rushed to help her. 

Cassie and I sneak a glance at each other. Though, in all honesty, the interaction was innocent. They distributed the drinks and I instantly went to drink when me hand was smack.

Angie had her eyebrows furrowed at me in a glare. I looked back at her confused.

“Let’s make a toast.” She announced over the blaring jazz music. “A toast for Aliena’s first outing!”

Everyone made mischievous smiles at me, I returned it with a mocking one as I tilted me head from side to side. 

Cassie giggled. “May she drunkenly hook up with a stranger and forget all about Mr. Thomas Shelby.”

While I didn’t want Cassie’s toast to come true, exactly, I still clinked glasses with the lot of them. We, collectively, tipped our heads back and downed our glasses. 

I groaned at the taste as did Tina. Angie and Cassie both whooped in excitement.

“More! More!” Cassie chanted as she grabbed the bottle and starting pouring us another round. 

I took another puff of me ciggie. I could see I didn’t have many left. Left it burning for too long. I shrugged me shoulders as I took another inhale. I could always bum one off of them. 

Two more glasses later, I was dragged to the dance floor by Cassie. I tried begging her to let me go, but she wouldn’t. I tried telling her that all I knew how to do was sway, but she said that she would teach me.

And, boy, did she try! 

I swear I was getting it all wrong, but she was swearing that I was doing great.

Our hands were entwined and I shouted. “I’m not doing it right, Cassie!”

She shook her head as she brought me in so close that our lips were practically touching. “You’re dancing better than me. Stop thinking about it, Ali. Let yourself go.”

I wanted to. I really wanted to, but how could I lose meself to jazz music! How was I supposed to lose meself to jazz music?

I cringed. I literally cringed. I took a deep breath and cradled me forehead. “Cass,” I shouted. “Let’s get a drink, yeah?”

She pouted and her face contorted in frustration, but she followed me back to the table nonetheless. At said table, was Angie and Tina along with two new gentlemen friends. Angie looked like she was having a good time while Tina— not so much.

Angie noticed us first. “You guys are back already?” She asked.

Cassie nodded. “Yeah. Aliena wanted another drink.” Her tone, somewhat snappy.

I resisted the urge to roll me eyes as I grabbed the bottle and poured meself a glass.

I heard one of the men clear their throat. Angie sighed before announcing their presence. I gave them each a polite smile and nodded. I didn’t acknowledge them. They weren’t me type anyhow. 

I tipped back abar two more drinks before I tapped Cassie’s shoulder and nodded back to the dance floor. Her face lit up in glee as she took me head and we ran to the dance floor. 

I felt the booze lower me inhibitions. I listened to her words and let meself go. I was in a mix between the music in me head and the music that thundered in the club. I was in a mix between the dances Cassie taught me and the dances I knew from back home.

I ran me fingers through me hair and kept them as I swayed me waist. I let me hands roam me body as I did a body roll. I swayed me hips from side to side. I let me eyes flutter close and I embraced the music in me head.

I only stopped when I felt someone’s hand creep on me shoulder. I twirled ‘round to face the man who dared lay a hand on me. 

He smirked and shouted. “Mind, if I joined you?”

I looked at him up and down then scoffed. “Fuck off!”

His eyes widened and he left. I watched him leave. I walked closer to Cassie and pulled her to me. She giggled and then I turned ‘round. I grabbed her hands and made them roam me body as I grinded into her. 

Eventually, she got into the groove of it. 

“Men are looking at us.” She whispered in me ear.

I smirked and reopened me eyes. I titled me head back and whispered into her ear. “Let them.”

We danced for a little while more. I could see and feel all of these eyes on us. I felt so ethereal yet scared at the same time. All it took was one macho man. One macho man to try and demand that either us are entitled to give him a dance. 

So, with thought like that plaguing me mind— I stopped dancing and pulled Cassie back to the table. 

I hadn’t even noticed that women were glaring at us as well ‘til we were walking back to our table. 

We sat down while panting. I felt so hot. Angie chuckled at the sight of us.

“Where’s tweedle dee and dum?” I asked as I pinched a ciggie from one of their cases.

Angie scoffed. “Hopefully somewhere else. Fucking pricks!”

I inhaled as I lit it up. I knocked down the arm as I asked. “The fuck happened?”

Angie’s eyes darted to Tina’s, who was looking down at the table.

Tina sat up straighter and I could see her gulp. Her eyes kept shifting to me from the table. “The bastard put his hand up me dress.”

I felt rage surge me. I held me ciggie between two fingers as I shot up. Me hands slammed on the table. “Where’s the fucking bastard? I fuckin’ kill ‘em.”

Angie scoffed. “Calm down, Aliena. Already embarrassed them as much as I could.”

I looked over at Angie and gave her a satisfied smile. If it was Angie, then yeah— she made them wish they’d never been born.

Cassie stroked Tina’s arm before saying, “How about you and Angie go and have your turn on the dance floor. Ali and I will hold down the fort.”

Angie looked at Tina who just nodded. They got up from their chairs and walked onto the dance floor. I exhaled smoke through me nose and looked over at Cassie.

She smiled at me. “What was that? On the floor.” 

I smirked. “I let myself go.”

She giggled while tipping her head back. “Now, if Mr. Thomas Shelby knew you could dance like that. I bet he would be the one on his knees for ya. Not the other way around.”

I chortled at that. The bad thing that once she said it, I could imagine it. I could see Thomas Shelby on all fours for me as I sat in his chair at his future office with me legs wide open. But the thing is, I didn’t want to be the one in control. It’s just a personal preference.

Cassie slid a glass to me and I happily took a drink. I tsked after. 

Cassie was staring at me with this questionable look in eyes.

“What?” I asked with a giggle.

She squinted before sighing. “Why won’t you make the first move? You’re about to turn 18 and that woman isn’t in the picture anymore. Why not just,” She began to flail her hands ‘round herself. “Make the first move!”

I glanced away as I thought abar how to answer her. I sat up straighter and rested me back against the chair. “I won’t ever make the first move because I’m afraid of rejection. I’ve been rejected by all the males in my life that I have asked out. In my mind, I can’t convince myself that he will be different. Why? Because I’m shielding myself from feeling that embarrassment and sadness that would come from a rejection. 

Plus, like you said. Grace isn’t in the picture anymore, but that was like two weeks ago, Cassie! If he accepted me right now, I wouldn’t be able to perceive that other than him using me to be his rebound.”

I took the ciggie from me lips and titled me head back as I exhaled. Then, I picked up me glass and downed it. 

Cassie tapped the table with her fingernail before sighing and looking away. I started bobbing me head to enjoy meself. Cassie’s face contorted into something devilish. I squinted me eyes in suspicion.

“What’re you looking at?” I turned ‘round and saw two men sitting at the bar. Me eyes widened and I just zipped back ‘round. I shook me head. “You better not even-!”

It was too late as I saw the shit-eating grin on her face as she looked at me. I blew raspberries while rolling me eyes. 

His name was Christian and he was an accountant. He was attractive, for sure. But, we weren’t hitting it off like that. I pretended to be engaged, but anything he was saying was going in one ear and out the other. 

I nursed me bevvy as I dragged me fingertip along the rim of the glass. When I picked up me head ‘n saw Angie and Tina walking back with more than a pep in their step, I swear I thanked God.

“Hey!” I shouted while effectively cutting off the dude. “How was it? Your feets aching yet?”

Angie scoffed before her tipped toward Christian. She stared at him even harder while arching her neck forward. “Can you get up? You see women coming back from the dance floor and you don’t give your seat up! What kind of man are you?”

I looked away as I slapped me hand over me mouth. The guy stuttered and scrambled out of the chair. Angie just held up her hand and began collecting her stuff.

“I, for one, am tired of this place. Let’s go, girls.” Angie announced. 

‘Say less.’ I thought.

I already had me stuff in me purse, so I got up and shuffled toward Tina. I stroked her arm and asked. “Are you alright, hun?”

She nodded while hiking up her purse on her shoulder. “Just want to get out of here. Too many eyes.” 

I looked ‘round and sure enough, she was right. Some men had the balls to keep on looking. I rolled me eyes as it contorted in disgust. 

“Yeah, we’ll leave soon.”

Cassie flirted with that guy ‘til we left. She groaned exaggeratedly as she raked her fingers through her hair. “What the fuck, guys? I was still talking to him.”

I scoffed. “Don’t worry, Cass. I’m sure you’ll find someone else to satisfy you at the next bar.”

Angie nodded. “Yep. Looks like scum raided that bar tonight.”

By the end of the night, I was a fucking mess. I was stumbling ‘round and me speech was slurred. I was conscious of everything. I felt like it anyway, but something was telling me that I would forget bits and pieces in the morning. 

Oh! Cassie did indeed get her scratch itched. She had sex in the restroom. We cheered and laughed at her for it. Turns out that Tina and I were more alike than I originally thought. Though, I believe the reason for that was because neither of us were on the prowl. Angie and Cass, on the other hand, were.

So, right now, Cass was giving me a ride back home. 

I stuck me head out of the car and let the wind whip through me hair. I howled while extending me arm out. I could hear giggles in the car. When I felt content, I went back into the car. I draped over Angie and rested me head on her shoulder. I was sitting on me knees, so it worked. 

I smiled, drunkenly. Angie stroked me face and whispered. “You are so beautiful. Like so beautiful. It kills me that you’re stuck in that dump of a home. If you were born into me own world, you’d be sought out by all the lords and their sons.”

I psh-ed her words while hiding me face in her arm. “Why, thank you! I think you’re quite stunning yourself.”

“Marry rich, Aliena. So, we can see each other all the time.”

We stared into each other’s eyes for a while. ‘Til I broke it by smiling and cackling. She joined in on me laughter. 

The car had to stop eventually and when it did— they wouldn’t let me go! 

I let all me weight go as I tried to get out of their grasps. “Let me go, you wenches!”

Cassie aw-ed. “Stay with us, Ali. Just come back into the car and sleep over!”

Tina, who was very fucking bladdered, chimed in. “Yeah, stay with us, Ali!”

I giggled while tipping me head back. “No!” I shouted. “I have work tomorrow!” 

Their grip on me, eventually, loosened and I fell back on me arse. I laughed and moaned from the pain as me hand sluggishly went to soothe the pain. They laughed while crashing into each other.

“Fuck off ‘n go home!” I shouted while waving them off.

With ungraceful movements, Angie closed the car door as the other two fell back into the car. I stumbled to get back on me feet and opened the door. 

I sighed and looked ‘round. It was fucking dark and nobody was there. I didn’t take a coat, so I just hung up me purse. I tried to bend over and take off me heels, but I ended up leaning forward ‘n had to catch meself.

I giggled at me actions. Then, I heaved a big sigh and raised a fist to me forehead as I winced in discomfort. I crashed into the wall on me left and debated whether or not I wanted to go into the kitchen for water ‘n bread.

I burped loudly which caused me hand to fly over me mouth and then I chuckled. But, then that feeling contorted into something bad. I ran over to the sink and held me hair back as I vomited into the sink. 

I coughed and gathered all the spit in me mouth and spat it out a couple of times. I groaned as I slumped to the side. 

I’m so fucking tired!

I coughed a few more times as I turned on the faucet. I let the water wash away me vomit and I scooped some water to wash away the taste in me mouth. When I was done, I stumbled back into the living room and threw meself on the couch. 

I got comfortable and fell asleep.

“For fuck’s sake, Aliena.” I heard someone say. I groaned and refrained from opening me eyes. I didn’t want to fucking wake up right now!

Then, I felt someone pick at the hem of me dress and suddenly, me lower half was warmer. Not a second later, arms were under me knees and neck. I furrowed me eyebrows and whined in annoyance. 

They started shushing me ‘n telling me to go back to sleep. However, against their wishes— me eyes fluttered open. It was Tommy. I couldn’t stop the smile on me face from happening and as I attempted to snuggle into his chest.

“Warm.” I muttered.

He shushed me again and repeated himself.

I could feel the both of us jolt as he walked upstairs. I tried falling back to sleep, but felt like that wasn’t becoming a possibility.

Slowly, with me hand, I hovered it over his cheekbone. He looked down at me. I stared into his eyes and whispered. “So pretty.” His facial expression didn’t change. 

He just repeated himself yet again before he began to walk again. I let me hand drop and I closed me eyes. I tried focusing on the sound of his breath and the way his chest rose and fell.

I let him lay me in bed and tuck me in. As he turned ‘round to leave, I shot me hand out and grasped his wrist. “Stay with me?” I asked. 

Tommy looked down at me hand and slowly, he backtracked and sat down next to me. A grin broke out on me face. I tried getting comfortable all while trying to cuddle with him, but it was too awkward since all I would be doing is putting me face near his arse. 

Tommy cleared his throat then said something. Me eyes fluttered open and I hummed questioningly.

“Move over.” He repeated. And so, I did. 

Tommy laid down next to me and I, immediately, cuddled into his side. I didn’t even give him time to properly lay his arm ‘round me shoulders. I just sought out to comfort of his scent and warmth.

I felt his torso shake with laughter, but no sound came out.

“Now, go back to sleep, Ali.”

I was able to follow through on that order that time.

 When I woke up, me head was pounding, there was this god awful taste in me mouth, and I had light sensitivity. I groaned and held me head as I slowly got up. I held me head up as me elbows rested on me knees. 

Then, I looked to me side. There was a note on me nightstand. I grabbed it and read it.

‘Take it easy today. - Thomas’

I rolled me eyes, but I was actually brimming with happiness on the inside.

‘So, that wasn’t a dream.’ I thought.

I got to me feet and worked on getting dressed for the day. I settled for a fuzzy, grey long-sleeved shirt, a blue pleated skirt, and stockings. These ones went all the way up to me waist. When I was done, I trudged over to me desk and worked on getting last night’s makeup off.

I’m such a better beaut! I had to use so many cotton balls and wipes. I sighed as I covered me face with me hands. I spread me hands and looked at meself in the mirror. I stretched down me face before letting it go. I let me left arm fall and I laid me head down on it.

I desperately did not want to go downstairs. But, I have a fucking job to do! I whimpered before getting up and slipping on boots. After that, I made me way downstairs. 

As I turned into the kitchen, I should have known Polly would have been there. Sipping away at her mornin’ cuppa tea. She looked at me through hooded eyes. I looked away before looking back at her.

She set her cup down and leaned forward in her seat. “Well, aren’t you going to tell me how your night was?”

The only thought that went through me mind was, ‘Thank fuck!’

For several nights in a row, me nights have been nothing but partying. I’ve been getting up with a hangover from the night before, finishing me duties, making dinner, eating dinner, getting ready to go out, and then Cassie would pick me up.

When I left, I would drink so much that anything would fly out of me mouth as slurs and I was stumbling into people. Then, I would be dropped off home and luckily, I have been making it to me room. Oh, but first. I would vomit in the sink, or eat bread and drink water. So far it’s been a 50/50 chance for either.

Right now, I was dancing with a bottle in me hand by meself. Being drunk and dancing was freeing. I wasn’t thinking for once and I was just letting go. I didn’t have to worry abar who I was within the Shelby clan. I wasn’t overthinking every interaction I had with everybody I came across. I wasn’t obsessing over Thomas fucking Shelby.

I brought the bottle to me lips and took a swig. Cassie looked over at me and stumbled toward me, and I did the same. With me free hand, I cradled the back of her head and brought her forehead to meet mine.

“Are you having fun?” She asked me over the blaring music.

I nodded while gigglin’. “Yeah, what about you?”

She nodded too before stealing me bottle away. I protested and reached for it, but she stomped away. She couldn’t exactly manage a run, right now. I spluttered at the sight. When I stood up straight, I felt someone place their hands on me hips.

I didn't have to look behind meself to know it was some fella.

“Want some company, love?” He asked me.

I pondered it for a while before I decided on me answer. “I’m only lookin’ to dance. You got that?”

As he chuckled, I could feel his chest vibrate. “Sure, love.”

I rolled me eyes and started to dance to me own music. When I felt something hard press up against me arse, I pushed him away and started walking away. He tugged me back.

“Oi, slag. Finish what you started.” He shouted in me face.

I scoffed before stomping on his foot and kneeing his crotch. “You have a hand, use it!” I yelled as he doubled over. I shoved him to the ground and walked away. 

I was instantly smothered by hands. 

“Oh my god! I can’t believe you just did that! You just did that!” Angie exclaimed.

“That was so fucking awesome. Look at you, bad-ass!” Cassie shouted.

Tina just had this big-arse smile on her face. 

I laughed while shaking me head. “I’m glad youse enjoyed it, but unless he came here alone— we need to leave.”

We shuffled to our table, got our stuff and left. The night breeze whipped through our hair. I was falling into Cassie and Tina as we walked side by side. 

I groaned exaggeratedly before shouting, “Should we just go to the flat? De’ fuckin’ weirdos are out tonight!”

Cassie cackled. “Maybe it’s because your dancing is driving men wild.”

I scoffed while pivoting me hip toward her. “I don’t give a fuck abar what they see. I’m not there to satisfy them. I’m ‘aving a fuckin’ dance.”

“So, you won’t make the first move, but you don’t want men to make the first move on you either… How does that work?” Tina quipped.

I craned me neck toward her before glaring at her. “Okay, Tina! Some liquid courage, right now, huh? No, I’m playing! I don’t know how it works, but it’s gonna be up to me if I want to give them me time. Okay? Okay.”

Angie snapped her fingers before saying. “Exactly! Exactly! Anyway, Ali’s right. Let’s head to the flat.” She hailed a taxi and we all got it.

I left the window open and leaned me head against it. That was ‘til Angie made me shut it. I blew raspberries at her, but did it anyway.

It didn’t take that long to reach the hotel and Angie paid. I was too busy walking up the steps. I saw the familiar doorman.

“Good evening, Ms. Welsh.” He greeted me. Mr. Wilson was an older man in his late 40s. That’s all you have to remember.

“Evening, Wilson.” I flashed him as smile and walked through the door he held open for me. I stumbled straight to the elevator and saw that I was walking way ahead of me friends. 

I groaned while tipping me head back. The met me eventually and when the liftman spoke, I jumped. I didn’t notice that he was in here.

Cassie had to practically drag me out of the things since I had snoozed off. We were all full of cackles and giggles as we stumbled to Cassie’s flat. Once the door open and I crossed the threshold, I groaned extra exaggeratedly.

Angie shouted at me to shut up. I ignored her and worked on taking off these fucking devil heels. I threw them out of sight, out of mind then launched meself onto the bed. 

“Open a bottle!” I chanted. “Open a bottle!” 

When I heard the pop of a bottle, I cheered and flung meself back up. Cassie, Tina, and Angie were all sitting at the table. I trudged over to it and sat down rather unlady like. 

I took the pins out of me hair and shook it out while throwing them on the table.

“So, Aliena, why did you turn down that man?” Angie asked.

I shrugged me shoulders. I didn’t expect her to be the one to ask that. “Didn’t feel like he was the one. Yaknow?” I reached for the glass of wine she’d just poured me and sipped it. 

“Who will be the one?” Cassie quipped as she drank some of her wine.

Me gaze snapped toward her and I said without hesitation. “Perhaps it could be you.”

She as well as Tina spluttered. I smirked, victorious.

I sighed. “Why are you all so concerned with me love life so much? If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Right now, I’m not looking for meaningless sex nor am I looking to be in a relationship.” I realize that I didn’t say those words with perfect clarity, but— perhaps I did at the same time.

Tina cleared her throat. Everyone’s head turned to her. 

“Because… Because we want to see you happy as the baby in the group.” 

I blinked a couple of times as did everyone else apparently ‘cause once the three of us made eye contact with each other, we started cackling. I mean this was some heavy cackling. The kind that would embarrass you if your significant other heard it. 

“No, but seriously— she’s right.” Cassie said through pants.

I sobered up real quick.

Angie continued. “Yeah. Look, this Thomas Shelby doesn’t seem like the kind of guy for you. I mean, hasn’t he made you cry like more than ten times, already? You don’t even want to find out if he likes you back. Why don’t you just find someone new?”

I blinked slowly as I tried to process what they said. I shook me head and muttered. “I’m gonna head to the loo.” 

I closed the door behind me and stumbled to the sink. I was holding meself up on the sink and I looked up at me reflection. I took in a loud shuddering breath.

They didn’t understand. Tommy wasn’t a bad person, he was just ambitious. They don’t know abar his affectionate side like I do. The Tommy who joked and smiled with me at night. That Tommy was mine to adore on sleepless nights. The Tommy that makes me cry is very real, but it’s not even his fault. It’s mine.

It’s me who’s a coward. I already told them me reasons for not confronting him abar me feelings, why can’t they just accept that. I don’t want to have a bunch of one-night stands that’s not me! Why are they pushing me to do it when they don’t even do that to Tina? Is it because I’m a virgin?

I choked as I exhaled and wiped me eyes. I looked up at me reflection again and saw that I now had raccoon eyes. I blinked quickly while groaning to meself. The mascara was stinging me eyes. I opened the cabinet and scavenged for Cassie’s makeup remover items. 

I’m not going to hold on to Tommy forever. I knew that in me heart. I had too precious of a goal to do that shit. Plus, the choice will be made for me in two years time. If Tommy knocks up Grace, that is. If he does, then I’m done. He loved her and only her. I have no right in the matter nor am I gonna kick up a fuss. I’m just glad to be in their lives.

I cherished his character for so long and so intensely that I actually managed to be “transported” to the Peaky Blinder Universe. Even if I don’t end up with him, this is still an excellent shot at life. I know things abar the future that will help me descendants. As ugly as this is, I can make a profit out of ideas that were invented in me timeline.

Me future doesn’t have to be completely uncertain anymore. 

But no one can ever understand that. Not Cassie, Angie, Tina, Polly, or even Tommy could understand. I can plan me future with almost 100% guarantees that it will be a success.   

It’s so tiring, though. I’m so tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. I have to remember lie after lie after lie. 

I heaved for air as I slid down the sink. There was a knock at the door.

“Aliena, are you all right in there?” 

I nodded, even though they couldn’t see me. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just need some time alone, please.”

“Okay.” Cassie said with a shaky voice.

I’m not upset at them. I’m upset with the truth their words held. I needed to get over Thomas Shelby. I knew that better than anyone. But, I was gonna do it me own way. Nobody can do it for me. I’m gonna do it at at me own time, nobody is gonna plan it for me. 

I got up and wiped the tears that fell. I crawled over to where the toilet paper was, rolled some ‘round me hand and blew me nose. I threw it away and finally stood up. I walked back into the room where they all stared out me.

I pointed to the bed and whispered that I was going to sleep. They acknowledged it and I did as I said I was going to do.

I knew better than anyone that I shouldn’t be in love with Thomas Shelby. That he could get me killed, cheat on me, or ya know— create a toxic relationship. But, I didn’t see us as that. That’s what we were like on the surface. There’s unspoken words that are exchanged between us, always. 

I knew he wasn’t good with words or actions because of the war and the business empire he wants to build. Do I get caught in the crossfire sometimes? Yes. Does me mental health suffer because of it? Yes, of course, it does! I’m human and a very emotional one at that! 

I knew that some people think that Thomas Shelby was an absoulte arsehole and he is, but I saw why he was like that. I understood it. I would be that way too. I am that way. I do harbor similar feelings, but I also don’t want to be in a leadership position. I don’t want that dominance that Tommy does.

And, he does crave it. 

I can’t fix him just like he can never fix me. But in my heart of hearts, I knew he may be the only one who understood these dark thoughts of mine just like I did his. But sometimes that isn’t enough. 

I knew people like him craved an innocent partner at times. Not innocent in nature, but in their actions. They see the good in people, they’re optimists. A “low-born” man who is fascinated with a “high-born” woman because of her naive feisty nature. 

I wasn’t any of that. I saw the worst in people. I consider meself a realist, but I’ve been called a pessimist.  I was born from a middle-class family. And while I am bratty, yes, bratty. I’ve been labeled this by too many friends and family members to try downplaying me character now. I just want to feel safe. I want warmth. I want someone to hold me and tell me that everything’s alright.

I sniffled and wiped me nose. 

Truth is, right now, I’m in limbo. I’m surrounded by people who have good intentions but I’m feeling more depressed than ever. 

TAG LIST: @amirahiddleston @nemesis729​ @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @tlfshelby1 @halepea @lilymurphy03 @marsfireeyes @masumiyetimziyanoldu

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Welcome To Backwater ch.3 (spicyhoney)

Summary: Stretch is getting out and meeting new people, if only things weren’t a little...ominous. 

Content:  Spicyhoney, Midwest Gothic

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Read Chapter Three on AO3

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Read it here!

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The thing was, Stretch had never really lived on his own. For most of his life, he’d lived with his brother. Taking care of Blue when he was a kiddo, then sort of swapping roles for a while as they got older. By the time they were on the surface, they had a pretty good give and take going when it came to cohabitation. Living with his bro was never the problem.

It was moving back in with him after everything went down that was the hard part. His sympathy felt more like stifling pity, the relentless cheer Stretch normally adored was grating, and as much as Stretch loved his brother, (and he did, his brother was the coolest and fuck anyone who didn’t see that), he just…he couldn’t. Not right now.

That all came to a head and landed him on the midnight bus to anywhere and living here essentially alone was turning into a balancing act between being necessarily solitary and lonely enough to start befriending the local spooks, and now look at him.

Standing in Red’s living room and armed with a lamp shaped like a flamingo, probably about to be murdered for the hundred bucks in the front register and Red’s shitty microwave, and his first stupid thought was, holy shit, he’s gorgeous.

Not that it wasn’t a valid thought, but it didn’t do much to better the situation. A skeleton Monster (another one? really?) that was almost as tall as he was, but instead of Stretch’s scrawny bod and knobby knees poking out of his cargo shorts, this guy looked like he’d just stepped out of GQ’s leather edition, available only with a valid ID. From those slender hips with all the right curves all the way up to the delicate intricacies of his cervical vertebra, he was like a book written in braille, begging for a touch. Those cheekbones alone were sharp enough to do more damage than any damn lamp, fuck, he should have to carry a weapons license for those things, they were sure as hell giving Stretch a good stab in the libido.

Mystery guy only stood there in Red living room, cool and calm in spite of the fact he was wearing a sleek leather jacket and knee-high damn motorcycle boots, (fuck, those legs), on a sweltering day. Didn’t even bother to pull his hands out of his jeans pockets, like he was hanging around patiently for a fucking takeout order instead of starring in a home invasion.

The guy raised a browbone, and fuck, how did even the scar running through his socket seem sexy? “Well?” Mystery Man said, “Nothing else to say?”

That broke the spell. Well, kinda, holy shit, take two. That voice, it was almost rich enough to pour into a cup, but damn, if Sugar Tongue here dusted Red, what was Stretch gonna tell the cops? That he was too busy getting seduced by those dark molasses wiles to do anything about it?

Stretch brandished the lamp again and blustered out, “i asked you first!”

The guy sighed heavily and for half an idiot second, Stretch felt bad for disappointing him. “If we’re going to continue down this path of childish competition, then I was here first. Would you care to offer a rebuttal? Or is that word too complicated for you, I’d make an attempt to bring it down to your level, but I don’t have the time to journey back out of the realm of stupidity today.”

That was enough to snap him out of this guy’s erotic stupidity spell. Great, he was a murderer and a dick, Stretch should’ve known. No one with hips like that could be on the side of good. He raised the lamp again threateningly, flamingo-beak facing front, “the only butt around here is gonna be yours when i kick it!”

The guy only rolled his eye lights, deep crimson, huh, how about that. “Ah, how refreshing it is to have a chance to engage in such cunning debate,” he drawled. “But as enchanting as this has been, let me interrupt the vigilante plotline you seem to be starting. I’m only here to drop off a package for my brother.”

“brother?” Stretch parroted dumbly. Oh. Ohhhhh, for fuck’s sake he was an idiot. Red eye lights, skeleton monster, all he was missing was a fucking name tag that said, ‘Red’s Tall Brother, Please Do Not Ambush.’

Well, that was one way to make a first impression.

Stretch sheepishly lowered the lamp, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly. “oh. uh, sorry about that, i’m a little on edge.”

“On edge, are you,” the guy repeated. One corner of his mouth pulled upward in a sardonic little smile, another sign of the unfairness of life that it only made him look even more appealing, if that were possible. Sex on legs and that voice? Some guys cheated to role for charisma twice was all Stretch was saying. “Ah, aren’t life’s little ironies precious.”

Before Stretch could figure out what the heck that meant, he heard the familiar thump and bump of Red hurrying down the hallway. The door was flung open hard enough to bounce against the opposite wall and Red paused in the doorway, taking in the scene. His brother standing there is all his sexy glory, completely unconcerned and weaponless, and Stretch still sweaty and disheveled from trekking through the heat outside, standing there with a lamp in his hands trying to look like he hadn’t been ready to bonk the guy on the noggin like the first chapter of an Agatha Christie novel.

Red was snickering before Stretch could even scramble for any sort of excuse, “whatcha gonna do with the lamp, armstrong, knock his lights out?”

“i was improvising,” Stretch mumbled. He plunked the hideous thing back on the table, fumbling to plug it back in. "you didn't tell me you had a brother."

"no?” Red set both hands on the top of his cane to lean against it and innocent was not a voice he wore well, nope. “musta slipped my mind."

"Your mind is ever slippery, brother," said brother put forth in a clipped tone, "Somehow, you managed to forget to mention this…person…to me as well."

"and 'cause i did you got to have an excitin' first meeting,” Red said, abandoning innocence for pure mischief. He gave them both a broad wink, “ain't that right?"

About the only thing Stretch and this guy had in common was the mutual dirty looks they gave back to that.

“only if you get your thrills from a criminal sort of meet and greet,” Stretch said.

"Yes," the brother said irritably, "Very exciting. And now that we’ve all confirmed who I am, would you care to explain who this is?”

Red’s grin widened, his gold tooth winking in the mellow sunlight streaming in through the tatty curtains. “my new clerk.”

“Your—” That irritation melted into horror as the guy’s spine went ruler-straight as if someone jammed a yardstick up his ass before he blustered out, “have you lost your tiny little mind?”

Stretch couldn’t help feeling a little insulted. It was a little grocery store, not the Ritz, they didn’t need all their cheese on the crackers to manage selling ‘em, thanks.

Red didn’t seem bothered by his brother’s disbelief, he only shrugged, “nah. don’t think so, anyway.” Then with a touch of acid, “not like you’re around long enough to find out.”

His brother ignored that. Seemed like he was still stuck on Red’s audacity in hiring a clerk. “You have,” he said wonderingly, “You’ve completely lost your mind this time. And you’re keeping him right here in the house?”

“room upstairs, but yeah.” Red sucked on his teeth loudly, grinning his wide, feral grin. “got a problem with that, little brother?”

Conversation briefly ceased as they both seemed to be trying to communicate in glares and Stretch didn’t know enough of the language to interpret, but he didn’t think it was going well. Especially not when the tall drink of brother abruptly turned to him and said, “Go get your things.”

Stretch only gaped at him, too surprised to even protest, of all the fucking arrogance—!

“Go get your things,” he repeated, a touch louder and flavored with a dash of impatience, “and I’ll take you to the bus depot right now.”

“you’re serious,” Stretch said in disbelief. He shook his head with a short laugh, “heh, sorry, champ, not going anywhere on your say-so. besides, i just got here, if i leave now, I’ll never get voted prom queen.”

The other guy’s face didn’t so much as twitch and intensity in that crimson gaze made Stretch want to look away. He resisted, meeting that glare defiantly, even as he said, quietly, “If you stay long enough, leaving won’t be an option.”

Stretch only snorted, seriously, what was with this guy? “and you’re calling your brother a nut?”

He didn’t bother to answer that one, only swung around and pointed an accusing finger in Red’s direction. “This is on you, brother.”

Red only gave him that easy, sharky grin back. “always was.”

Stretch thought that was the end of it. The guy nodded shortly and started towards the door, brushing past Stretch to get to it and that was where he paused. He turned towards Stretch, those red eye lights moving over him searchingly. The end table with its returned lamp was at Stretch’s back, there was nowhere to go as Red’s brother loomed into his personal space, leaning in uncomfortably close, only inches away from Stretch’s collarbone as he sniffed delicately.

“Hm,” he said thoughtfully.

Stretch resisted the urge to give his armpits a testing sniff. “what?”

But he only drew away and gave Red another unreadable look. Red nodded once.

What. The. Fuck?

“Fine,” the guy sighed out. His hands curled into brief fists, sharpened fingertips pressed into his palms. “It’s your problem, brother, you deal with it.”

“don’t i always?”

“Perhaps with the least amount of property damage possible, if you don’t mind.” He gave Stretch another dismissive half-glance. “Now if you’ll excuse me, brother."

He turned and started to walk off and yeesh, even the way he walked caught the eye, damn, hate to see you leave, love to watch those hips go.

Down boy, Stretch told his libido. There was enough weird shit going on and he really didn’t need to take another hike down that path. Besides, with hot stuff constantly looking at him like something to be scraped off the bottom of his shoe, it wasn’t exactly opening the door for romance. He’d had his fill of assholes, a lifetime’s worth, and just case it might be a question, Stretch proved he was still an enormous idiot by calling to that leather-clad back, “didn’t catch your name.”

The guy didn’t even pause. “Then next time you should be a better hunter.”

With that he was out the apartment door. Stretch and Red stood there and listened to the cow bell jangling loudly, the door slamming, and then the roar of an engine speeding away.

Only then did Red speak again, with laconic ease, “if you’re done staring at my baby bro’s ass, y’can come eat with me.”

“i—" wasn’t, Stretch started to say, then shrugged. Busted. “don’t worry, i don’t think i’m his type.”

“don’t think too hard, gonna hurt yourself,” Red said, dry as a mouthful of sand. “what’s the problem, don’t think you got the right size font?”

“let’s not get into that, it’ll take too long,” Stretch tossed back. “and don’t take this the wrong way but your brother is a dick.”

“yeah,” Red said fondly, “ain’t he great? now, before you tried to light up my bro’s life, i was setting up for dinner. if you grab that bag, you can have some, too.”

Stretch followed where Red pointed with his cane to find an insulated bag sitting by the sofa, black because fuck knew Fonzie’s stunt double needed matching accessories. He lugged the bag along as he followed Red back down the hallway into the store, setting it on the counter while Red struggled into the chair. There were a couple of dusty bowls already sitting there next to the beers and Red gave them a cursory wipe with a rag of dubious cleanliness.

“my bro got his own place a while back,” Red unzipped the bag and pulled out a large ceramic casserole dish. “but he still drops off food for me coupla times a week. says that eating at ‘mama’s’ along with a double daily dose of mac and cheese ain’t healthy.”

Stretch watched, reluctantly intrigued. “he doesn’t stick around for dinner?”

“nah, my bro has kinda a special diet.” Red pulled the lid off and steam rose out, along with the gorgeous, rich smell of sinfully delicious food. Long greenish noodles drenched in some sort of glistening sauce with chunks of more green and purple veggies mixed in, and dusted with a heavy sprinkle of parmesan. Whatever it was, it wasn’t anything like what they brought to the table at Olive Garden.

Stretch inhaled deeply, his mouth already watering. “holy shit, he cooked this?”

“cooked it, hell,” Red spooned out portions, uncaring about the little drips that fell on the counter and pushing the first bowl over to Stretch. “he makes the pasta by hand. planted the veggies, too, like he’s fucking ol’ macdonald on his farm. he made that stew i gave ya the first night, too.”

Stretch barely heard him because he’d already taken his first bite and had he really thought Red’s brother looked sexy? He was wrong, totally wrong, because this was the sexy, this delectably orgasmic taste exploding across his tongue in a blend of garlic and vinaigrette, carried on perfectly al dente noodles mingling with the bright crunch of zucchini and beets. It was hard not to moan aloud as he chewed down that first bite and went back for another.

“is he single? i changed my mind, holy fuck, i’m gonna marry him and chain him to the stove,” Thoughtlessly said around a mouthful of deliciousness and Stretch winced as he realized what he said, “sorry, sorry, bad joke.”

Red only slurped up more noodles, teeth glistening with oil and the long strands flinging droplets of sauce as he sucked them in. “he’s single, but good luck putting a leash on him. go ahead, ask him out next time he stops by. i could use a good laugh, ‘cause, honey, you two hooking up would be a joke.”

Absurdly stung, Stretch shrugged and tried on a laugh, “hey, i’m a hell of a catch. gainfully employed and everything.”

“oh, yeah, you’re the seafood special, all right.” Red’s sharp teeth sheared easily through the noodles as he took another bite. “rebound fucks never work out, kid.”

“how did you—" Stretch stopped with a groan as Red raised both brow bones mockingly. He slumped back over his bowl, twirling up noodles on his fork. “yeah, yeah, handed that over with gift wrap.”

“yep, you did.” Red clapped Stretch on the shoulder with enough force to make him drop his fork. “the list of reasons people end up in the middle of nowhereville is pretty fucking short, kid, an’ you got that look. don’t worry ‘bout it, you got a place to stay here as long as you want.”

The unexpected kindness from Red of all people made him blink hard, but then, that wasn’t really giving him a fair shake, was it, not when he’d given Stretch a job to begin with and kept him semi-fed. “thanks.”

“don’t mention it, to anyone.” Red said dryly. He sucked down the last of the noodles and pushed the bowl away with a sigh. “gonna ruin my rep. make you a deal, air conditioning’s better down here. if you wanna watch tv in my place, y’can go ahead, if,” he stressed, “if ya call your brother. bet he’s out of his mind worried by now.”

“how—” Stretch shut his mouth hard enough for his teeth to click together. Red only looked serenely back, the chair creaking as he leaned back and laced his hands together over his middle. He looked away, not wanting to see what else might shine knowingly in those crimson eye lights. “i’ll text him.”

“good enough,” Red said agreeably. He pulled a can of beer off the plastic ring and popped it open, gulping some down and belching with mellow contentment. “where the fuck did you go earlier, i been waiting on these beers.”

Stretch’s bowl was empty and he ran a finger along the inside of it, licking away the smear of leftover sauce. “to see a movie.”

Red’s mouth opened in a silent ‘ah’. “didja say hi to doris?”

That was not what Stretch expected. “i…yes. you’ve seen her?” Stupid to think Red hadn’t, he’d been here for a long time, hard to believe he’d never stepped into the theater and any Monster with half a gram of sense would’ve noticed her.

“sure, loads of times,” Red said, confirming it. “sweet gal. don’t be offended if she don’t remember you right away, she’s gotta little problem with short term memory.” He pointed a finger at his temple and let his thumb drop like the hammer on a gun. “keep stoppin’ in and eventually you’ll stick. takes her a mo’ when i stop by, but she gets there.”

“good to know.” And it was. Any faint, stupid hurt that he wasn’t the first Monster in Doris’s unlife was a little eased by that tidbit. He probably would’ve been more upset if he went to see her again tomorrow and had to go through the intros again without it.

“okay, g’wan, get outta here,” Red shoved a beer in Stretch’s direction and waved him off. “just remember, wheel of fortune is on at 7.”

Stretch took the dirty bowls with him along with the serving dish, giving them a quick wash and setting them into Red’s already overflowing dish drainer. He spent the rest of the afternoon on the saggy sofa in the living room, watching reruns of ‘MASH’ and ‘Little House On the Prairie’ until Red closed shop for the Wheel.

That night Stretch had a strange dream. Vast trees towering over him and unstable ground beneath his feet. He stood in a puddle of ragged moonlight and when red eyes loomed out of the darkness, he met their stare and didn’t run. Not even when he saw the huge, dark shape that contained them, jagged white teeth in a gaping maw that gnashed and slavered, ready to consume him. The shape leapt at him and he couldn’t move, trapped by that gaze. He woke with a gasp before it landed, waking with a scream tangled up on his throat, clammy sheets sticking to his sweaty bones.

He lay for a moment on the thin mattress, catching his breath. His window was covered, had been since his second night here and he’d found an old blanket in his closet, tacked it up to keep out the blistering heat of the noontime sun. Now it kept out the midnight darkness and he didn’t even glance at it as he rolled to his feet and headed into the bathroom to splash cold water on his sweaty face.

He set both damp hands on the sides of the sink and looked at his dripping reflection. The only shadows in this room were the ones beneath his sockets. His skull was pale, his eye lights pinpricks of diffused white.

“liar,” he whispered to his reflection and watched as it whispered it silently back.

But that was one shipment of guilt he could offload right now.

Stretch shuffled back out and scooped his phone off the nightstand. He ignored the messages, the voicemails, and only tapped out a message of his own, hitting send before he could think of an excuse not to.

i’m okay, little brother, i’m safe. i’ll call soon.

It wasn’t a lie. Soon was relative, just like brothers.

He sank back down on his damp sheets and didn’t bother to turn out the lights.

tbc

[chaneajoyyy]

Ok BAM so last week i read a story it was only on its cirst chapter that was chris evans x black!reader and the reader was a dominatrix/mistress/ sex worker that chris had just hired she went to this party and ran into rdj and she hates him she was there to meet chrisss? Do you know it lol i dont remember the blog name !

I got you!! That’s called The Arrangement series by my good sis @bakarilennox 😘

https://bakarilennox.tumblr.com/post/620745610517168128/the-arrangement-ch-1-the-ritz-carlton

https://bakarilennox.tumblr.com/post/621746915942465537/all-tied-up-the-arrangement

https://bakarilennox.tumblr.com/post/626010314408902656/the-arrangement-the-ritz-carlton-pt-2

[ihaterika]

Ch*ritz said they don't like r*ka either, but the way they keep presenting her, I'm starting to think they only said that to cater to the majority who hates her. I don't think they actually hate her, I don't think they're portraying her as selfish & manipulative as they claim she is. I don't care if her past is tragic that makes her this way, her illness doesn't excuse her torture on others. I don't care if her intention is to help others, there is no justification for what she did

I think just because she is a character they created they could never fully hate her? They needed an antagonist for their game and even when they make her do horrible things they still created her so it’s hard to hate her completely because if they did they would have never put her in the game, made an antagonist they didn’t hate instead. 

-Mod Carbink

[princeyoosung]

Honestly I'm more scared Ch*ritz will actually fuck up with S*eran and make him hurt or abuse MC in some way and then blame it on his "Unk*own" Persona If they pull any of that shit and then make it so that you get the good ending by being nice to him regardless, wouldn't that be invalidating the message of V's route? And then all those R*ka* stans (1/2)

would have a field day. They’d be like, “MC stayed with S*eran even when he hurt her! V should have done the same!” (2/2)

That possibility never crossed my mind, add this to my list of fears I have for this route.

I really hope we’re just over thinking and none of this happens because it would be pretty screw up. I already hate seeing people saying they prefer unknown cause he’s “hot” lol like honey he would ra/pe you and make you things you dont want (worse than ray) but ok. I know if we see a lot of him it’s gonna get worse ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Fingers crossed cheritz won’t go that way. I would hate it.

[artificialqueens]

Dearest memories ch. 1 (Shalaska) - Dustyrose

A/N: Hello everyone! I spontaneously started writing a shalaska fic and obviously felt the need to share it with all of you. ALSO thank you for all the likes you gave to Enough for me (I will write more Trixya in the future for sure and maybe a second part of Enough for me, who knows)! But this is Dearest memories and I hope you all like it and if you do, make sure to give me some feedback :)

Summary: Sharon and Alaska were best friends in high school but their friendship ended in a way neither of them wanted. One night they accidentally meet again and it happens to be just when Alaska needs Sharon the most. 

TW: alcohol, cursing (one word), mention of drug usage 

Flashback:

“Does this dress look good on me or should I put the other one?” Alaska asked her friend Sharon while posing in the middle of her bedroom wearing a cute floral dress.

Alaska was going to a big pool party and wanted to look beautiful. She was sad that her friend wasn’t invited to the party but she knew Sharon would hate her if she’d find out that Alaska felt sorry for her.

“They’re both beautiful, you know, you’ll always be the gorgeous one of them all,” Sharon reassured Alaska and saw a shade of pink rising to Alaska’s cheeks.

“Well.. this dress it is then, can you you help me with the zipper?” Alaska asked and Sharon walked slowly behind her.

Alaska felt Sharon’s cold fingers brush her bare back until they found the zipper and Alaska unwittingly bit her lower lip. Sharon moved the zipper up slowly and her face moved closer to Alaska’s neck where Alaska felt the need to be kissed. She knew Sharon liked girls and that was never a problem to her. She and Sharon were just friends and Alaska’s had plenty of boyfriends so surely there was nothing going on between them.

“There you go Lasky,” Sharon said brightly.

“Thank you Noodles,” Alaska thanked and played with the hem of her skirt nervously. She wanted to say something to Sharon but didn’t find the right words. 

“I’m gonna go now, have fun tonight,” Sharon said quickly and left without looking at Alaska.

….

Alaska’s head was pounding and she had a strong taste of alcohol left in her mouth. She was a good girl and she’s always been a good girl but tonight was something entirely different. She had a date planned with her boyfriend Jack and got stood up, apparently he was too busy at work to be with Alaska. Alaska didn’t mind at first but then she saw all the couples around her in the restaurant and they were all kissing and smiling to each others, they were happy and that was something Alaska couldn’t relate to. She felt unloved. Alaska had ordered two glasses of wine but after being rejected, she walked straight to the nearest bar and started taking shots, a lot of strong shots. After paying and eventually being kicked out of the bar, she didn’t feel like going home. She didn’t feel like sleeping in a bed with a man whose touch felt distant and unfamiliar. She walked in the city and felt like she could breathe. For the past two years, she hasn’t done much other than working. She worked hard, 12 hour shifts so she and Jack could get a nice home and a luxurious wedding ceremony, a ceremony that would trap her to her now discovered unhappiness. Alaska kept walking through the almost completely empty city and suddenly felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Alaska couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw the woman in front of her.

“Alaska?” the woman asked hesitantly but with a sense of confidence in her voice.

“Sharon?” Alaska questioned and thought she was dreaming for a second. 

“Yep, that’s me,” Sharon smiled and laughed a little tilting her head backwards.

“Oh my goodness Noodles, wooow,” Alaska said dragging her words in awe and Sharon knew exactly what she meant.

Sharon and Alaska were really good friends in high school. Everyone else saw Sharon as a complete freak but Alaska saw something more in her, she saw true beauty in Sharon. Alaska on the other hand was popular and everybody liked her, she was a cheerleader and attended parties Sharon was never invited to. Sharon wasn’t jealous, she was just grateful to have Alaska as a friend. They called each other Noodles and Lasky and used to watch Elvira’s Movie Macabre together, those are some of Alaska’s dearest memories. During the last year of high school, things went from bad to worse as Sharon started skipping school and quit talking to Alaska. She completely changed her look, started heavily using drugs and alcohol and eventually dropped out of high school. But the woman in front of Alaska now, was far from the Sharon everybody avoided in high school. Sharon looked gorgeous, healthy and successful. She wore a tight black dress, expensive high heels, a silky trench coat and she had dark lipstick on her lips accentuating her naturally pale skin. Sharon’s short and spiky hair had grown during the years and was styled delicately into soft curls. Alaska had grown too. She had beautiful curves, just like Sharon. Her blonde hair was long and shiny and her makeup skills had developed a lot during the years. Especially now, wearing a tight dress showing everything she didn’t have in high school, she felt prettier than ever.

“Same goes to you Lasky,” Sharon said and winked her eye playfully.

Alaska felt shivers going through her body and butterflies in her stomach while she was staring at Sharon but it must’ve been the alcohol in her system playing tricks.

“So what are you doing currently?” Alaska asked curiously.

“I’m a business owner,” Sharon said proudly, “What about you? Still cheerleading?”

“Ahahaa noo, I work as a banker,” Alaska laughed remembering her cheerleading days. 

“Well look at us, two successful and beautiful women! I think we should go for celebratory drinks,” Sharon suggested spontaneously with a big smile on her face.

“I agree, I think we have some catching up to do,” Alaska said almost flirtatiously.

“Where do you wanna go? We could go to the Ritz hotel, to that shabby Lucy’s bar or to my place, I have a bottle of Ace of Spades and of course PBR,” Sharon asked Alaska.

“Ace of Spades does sound pretty good right now,” Alaska smiled and brushed the thought of worried Jack waiting for her away.

“Great, I’ll get us a taxi,” Sharon said happily.

It was surprising how easily the conversation flowed after all these years. Something about Sharon was extremely comforting but still new and exciting at the same time. Alaska sat next to Sharon in the taxi and felt her long and slender legs brush against hers, just the touch of Sharon made Alaska feel emotions, she couldn’t even describe herself. The drive to Sharon’s wasn’t long, she lived just in the middle of the city in a tall building with it’s own lobby and marble floors. They walked through the lobby into an elevator chattering about work and life but Alaska didn’t mention Jack, there was no Jack to her that night. They stood side by side in the elevator and Sharon pressed the button to take them to the highest floor.

“Sharon..this is so beautiful,” Alaska looked at Sharon’s place, amazed by the modern and probably really expensive decoration.

The city lights were shining brightly to Sharon’s living room, showing the amazing view around them. Everything was modern but not in a cold or a strange way. The ambiance was atmospheric and warm. Sharon took her heels off and went straight to the kitchen while Alaska was admiring the view. When Sharon came back, she had a glass of champagne to Alaska and a can of PBR to herself.

“Cheers,” Sharon said and almost drank the whole can of PBR in one go.

“Cheers,” Alaska said and giggled softly taking small sips of her champagne.

“This is almost weird that Elvira isn’t playing in the background,” Sharon said and laughed slightly.

“Yeah I know, it used to be our thing.”

Sharon stared into Alaska’s eyes intensely and gave her a weak smile. Sharon looked vulnerable which is a side of her you don’t get to see that often or at all.

“What happened?” Alaska asked carefully immediately regretting her question.

“I…I dropped out, got depressed, went to rehab and therapy, started my own business and started drinking again,” Sharon said with a cold tone in her voice, distinctly avoiding the subject but laughed slightly when she said that she started drinking again. She took a long sip of her PBR and placed the empty can to a table in the living room.

“You could’ve called,” Alaska said selfishly, clearly still hurt about the incident.

“Huh?” Sharon mumbled surprised by Alaska’s answer.

“You could’ve called. We could’ve talked about everything. I got nothing. I just saw you hurting and isolating yourself. The day when I heard you left for good, Sharon that fucking hurt,” Alaska said bluntly with tears in her eyes. 

“Alaska.. My life was a living hell back then. My parents all of a sudden found out that I was gay and everybody already thought I was a freak, I just couldn’t do it anymore! You were busy partying and being with all of your other friends and I didn’t want you to pity me or worse blame yourself for it,” Sharon said fiercely.

There was a moment of silence when both of them gathered their thoughts, relieved that they finally had the chance to talk about what happened.

“I’m so sorry Sharon, I had no idea,” Alaska said soothingly and put her arms around Sharon. She placed her hand to Sharon’s waist and pulled her closer. Sharon hugged Alaska tightly, gave her a gentle squeeze and buried her head to the crook of Alaska’s neck.

“I’m alright now, I guess time really heals all the wounds,” Sharon chuckled weakly.

“Yeah it does,” Alaska smiled and carefully intertwined her fingers with Sharon.

“Do you wanna stay for the night?”

[deepwithinmybonesfic]

Deep Within My Bones- Ch 14- Apples

AU. Viktor wins another gold at the Olympics, and attends the Paralympics as another duty as the King of Ice Skating. Having lost his inspiration and heart, Viktor did not expect to find love in what he sees as the perfect man. Yuuri, after losing his legs, lost his chance to compete on the same ice as his idol. When the world seems to fall into place, what else can be taken away from them? Ch 1-6 is Setup, start at Ch. 6 for the cute romance-y and drama

It took a few days to get back into the normal routine.  Part of it had been Viktor—after waking up at his usual time with Yuuri, he decided to ignore the time  and the idea of practice. He laid with Yuuri until he woke up on his own—which was midday without an alarm, apparently.

Then they had the Katsuki’s. They ate lunch together, and when Yuuri, ever dedicated Yuuri, brought up practice, his mother shot it down. They spent the weekend together, the Nishigori family and Yuuri’s old ballet instructor joining them for a game night. Viktor had dreaded it, going with the flow, but secretly mad that he hadn’t had a private moment beyond his homecoming. Sure, his parents had been welcoming, and Mari had done her duty as an embarrassing big sister. It was completely different to be around people Yuuri grew up with and had known for years. Viktor had felt out of the loop and new, fearing that he would lose the ground he had gained with Yuuri, and would starve for touch.

But, yet again, Yuuri reminded why he loved this place so much. How he was letting his old scars come back to the surface. Yuuri did not shy away, sitting next to him, leaning into Viktor.  As the night went on and everyone around them got drunker, Yuuri became heavier. Next to each other became together, Yuuri moving onto his lap during a particular daring game of Jenga. He hid his face against Viktor’s shoulders when the photo albums came out.

It was everything Viktor wish he had grown up with.

The next morning, Toshiya nursed a hangover while Hiroko shooed them into the van.

Viktor had dealt with a lump of dread sitting in his stomach until Yuuri woke up enough to translate.

They spent the day in an orchard, eating apples they pulled off the trees around them. Hiroko gasped and giggled as Viktor had sunk his teeth right into the flesh of a green apple.

“What’s so funny?” Viktor said through a mouthful. The best apple he had in months—the ones in the stores were pushing 500 yen, and Viktor had avoided them. Why get one apple when you could get a whole lunch?

“She says she forgot you’re foreign sometimes,” Yuuri blushed, letting his mother take another freshly picked apple out of his hands. “and no wonder I like you.”

“Huh? “ This did nothing to clarify anything for Viktor. Hiroko took a paring knife from her bag, and skillfully peeled the skin off in a perfect spiral.

“It’s dumb…. When I came back from Detroit, I ate like that too. Everyone in Japan peels their fruit.” Yuuri looked sheepish.

“I like it when you bite into me,” Viktor cooed, Yuuri looking red, turning on his heel to look at the tree behind him. Each tree had a cardboard label with a name scribbled on it in black marker, but it was useless to him.  Even if he deciphered the hiragana Yuuri had taught him, the poetic names did not connect to the Russian names in his head.

Besides, Yuuri was more interesting than the apples.

Viktor had been so enveloped in dreaming about Yuuri on the ice, of competing together at the finals… that he hadn’t realized how he loved him elsewhere.

Everything was so Yuuri.  How the man took time to hold the branches so he didn’t pull anything more than he needed to when he picked an apple. How he swayed while he rocked. How he had brought the canes Viktor had seen Phichit with at the Gala…. And then left them on the picnic blanket, leaning against Viktor instead.

He even loved how Hiroko patted Viktor’s arm, pulled him closer and rubbed in the bug spray into his neck and cheeks.  He missed the motherly touch. He loved how Hiroko thought of him, even if it embarrassed  Yuuri. He could tell, when  Viktor was the first to get a plate of Ritz salt crackers, topped with a thin slice of apple and a melted marshmallow. The Nishigori triplets were the only others to get the treat, besides Yuuri, who reluctantly opened his mouth for Viktor.

The family had done their best to erase the trauma and stress of the day Yuuri fell on the ice.

They mostly succeeded.

Viktor had enough peace of mind to think of what to get Yuuri practicing on. He stayed off the ice, neglecting to put his skates on as if he had been the curse to bring him down.

It was stupid, and useless, as he had seen the medical records, and Yuuri had another appointment later in the week.

But he still felt responsible.  Everything weighed in on his mind, especially after leaving Yuutopia behind.

Viktor hadn’t notice he had lost himself in his own world until the scrape and slice of the ice stopped.

Yuuri was mad.

He wasn’t Yakov, mad,  or Yuri mad. There was no yelling or kicking or anything really.

He was quiet.

Too quiet.

He glowered at Viktor, his mouth set in a hard pout, the rest of his expression closed off.

Viktor looked up from his phone. “Yuuri! Great job,”

“What do I need to adjust.” He said flatly, a few inches away, the wall of the rink the only thing between them. He felt a lot further away.

“Uh, I think---“

“You weren’t even watching.” Yuuri interrupted.

“I was!” Viktor squeaked.  He dreaded this new Yuuri, who moved his hands when Viktor went to hold his cold fingers.

“You weren’t watching enough.” He leaned over, a small blessing, the blessing withering when Yuuri peered at Viktor’s phone.

He squinted, taking the phone and holding it closer to his nose.

“What is it?” He said, his tone softening at the end, tilting the black and white rows of Cyrillic.

“Just a page from a friend.” Viktor said, his throat closing up.   Yuuri closed up again, taking his thumb and scrolling up.

Damn Chris for sending him a Wikipedia link.

Yuuri switched it to English, then to Japanese with a surprising about of ease.

Viktor hated himself.

“Life expectancy of leukemia...?” Yuuri stared at the screen. He sounded empty, and sad.

He sounded like Viktor had felt, before all of this.

“Yuuri, I can explain, I just… I just want to  know everything.”

“So you can be prepared?” Yuuri’s hand tightened around the phone, but all Viktor could notice was his veins standing out under the fishnet and lycra half-gloves.

“So I can help you fight it.” Viktor’s voice broke, and he felt fresh stinging of his cheeks as tears trailed down them without warning.

So this was it.

He could feel everything fall apart as Yuuri was quiet, staring down at Viktor’s phone in his hand.

“Not here, Vitenka. Not on the ice.” Yuuri set the phone down, balancing it on the wall between them, before pushing off, skating back to the middle of the rink.

He threw himself into another jump, landing sloppily. He didn’t improve,  moving into other maneuvers and spins, never ending gracefully.

Thankfully, he never fell.

He kept at it, until Viktor realized that he couldn’t wait for Yuuri to come back.

He left the side of the rink to lace up his skates.

“Yuuri.” He easily avoided Yuuri as he finished another messy jump. He looked at him, but didn’t say anything.

“Nagano is next week.” Yuuri’s eyes fluttered downward. “For your exhibition… Viktor continued. “We should do a pair skate.”

“Only winners get an exhibition, Vitenka.” He said it as if Viktor was being stupid.

“Perfect—if you don’t place, I will, and we can do it at the Cup.” Viktor lifted his arms, his hands spread wide.

“It’s a week away.” Yuuri said, sliding back and forth, the same action of scuffing his toe against asphalt.

“You already know most of it, we just have to change the end of it to pair skate.” Viktor could feel his heart lifting as Yuuri humored him more and more.

“I’m not skating Eros like that.” Yuuri stammered. “If I even am allowed to compete.”

“No, silly.” Viktor skated closer, kissing his cheek. “Stammi Vicino.”

“That’s your routine,” Yuuri said softly.

“I’ve seen you try it.” Yuuri jerked, looking panicked and embarrassed. “I want to do it together.”

“There’s only a week!” He started to worry his bottom lip again. He didn’t stop moving.

“You took the podium at an international event, Yuuri.  You can do it.” Viktor reached forward, taking Yuuri’s wrists in his hands, then gently unfolding Yuuri’s hands into his own.

“This is different. This is you.” It was maddening that he still couldn’t face Viktor, even with his touch and what they had said in the storm and in bed. It was awful.

But Yuuri’s lack of confidence was worse.

“Please?” Viktor leaned down, making himself look into Yuuri’s eyes. “I want memories, too. “

“Memories of you being ridiculed for showing up skating with a nobody?” Yuuri made a sour face, a corner of his mouth curling up in self-deprecation.

“Of skating on the same ice as my love. “ Viktor forced another stage-smile, pushing Yuuri’s chin up  gently. “Wasn’t that your dream?”

“Who told you? Phichit?” Yuuri turned pink.

“You did, silly. The first night we slept together.”

Yuuri nearly collapsed. “We did that?”

“Sadly, not that. You just are an incredibly good cuddler.” The smile was genuine now. “But if you wanted to…” He teased.

“Don’t be stupid.” Yuuri whispered hoarsely. “No one in my family knows what privacy means.” He was even pinker now. The heavens opened up, angels sang. Viktor thought he was still in bed, dreaming about this miracle.

“Are you saying….?” His voice peaked at the end. He hoped Yuuri didn’t notice his heart beating a mile a minute.

“Not in Hasetsu.” Yuuri said firmly, worrying his lips again, biting them, and driving Viktor crazy.

“Let’s go to Tokyo!” Viktor sang.

“What? Now?” Viktor bobbed his head, clapping his hands happily in affirmation. “Are you insane?” Yuuri squeaked “That’s the other side of the country! It’ll take hours!”

“Aahhh… Hiroshima?” Viktor smiled.

“Still… two hours on shinkansen.” Yuuri wilted slightly. “You don’t know anything about Japan, do you?”

“I know about you..” Viktor shrugged. “Tokyo is close to Nagano, isn’t it?”

“It’s a little far… and I don’t have membership for their rink.” Yuuri rubbed his fingers against Viktor’s, deep in thought. “We can go to Fukuoka.”

“Are you sure…?” All Viktor knew about the city was it held the hospital and an international airport.

“Mm. It’s  a big city, and has a lot of import stores.  We can say we are getting ingredients for a Russian dinner.”

“Do you know anything about Russia?” Viktor teased, the smile fading at Yuuri’s serious look.

“Your favorite  food is syrniki.” Yuuri said flatly. Viktor kissed him. “I am not Russia, but I love it.”

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Terms of Engagement ch.7

Summary: Rus is still a kid himself and with his life turned upside-down, he has no idea how he’s going to take care of his baby brother. Having other kid skeletons appear in his world wasn’t exactly the help he was looking for.

Tags: Pre-Spicyhoney, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, Underswap Papyrus, Underswap Sans, Undertale Sans, Undertale Papyrus, Babybones, Scientist W. D. Gaster, Possible Past Child Abuse, Skellie Daycare, Growing Up Together, Big Brothers Caring For Their Little Bros, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Violence

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | 

Chapter Six

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Read Chapter Seven on AO3

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Read It Here!

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The artificial light streaming in through the window was already conspiring to wake Rus when the kicked open door finished the job. He groaned aloud, rolling over and yanking the blanket over his head as he mumbled, “c’mon, bro, five more minutes.”

“Is that how you always greet Blue in the morning? Because if so, you and my brother have a great deal more in common than I thought.”

That deep, raspy voice was nothing like the sweeter, higher version of Blue’s. Rus scrambled to sit up, fighting free of the tangled blankets and choking back a scream as he met a pair of crimson eye lights set in a scarred face.

Memory jolted into place and shame came fast on its heels, fuck, how would that have made Edge feel, that the sight of his face scared the shit out of him? Wasn’t like the scars were the kid’s fault or his LV, if Rus was understanding things right.

Edge’s mouth twisted wryly and Rus’s soul ached guiltily. Might not have hidden that as well as he hoped. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. How are you feeling?”

“fine,” Rus croaked, sounding exactly like shit. “better, i mean.”

“Hm.” Edge sat on the side of the bed, his bed, Rus realized, made in the form of a race car like Blue’s was of a Volkswagen beetle. Always those almost similarities, younger brothers instead of older, turn left instead of right, their worlds not the same but still not exactly different.

Edge pulled up the blanket enough to expose his ankle. The testing pressure of his fingers made Rus wince. “Still a little bruised, but you should be all right.” That touch lingered, soothing over the dark spots mottling the bone, until Rus shifted uncomfortably. Then Edge drew away, straightening. “Red wanted to speak with you.”

“yeah, i bet.” Maybe in the time Rus was asleep, he’d come up with some ideas on how the hell he was going to get home. Edge went over to the closet, rummaging through looked like a sparse selection, and finally brought back a neat stack of clothes.

“Here, you’d probably like to change. I’ll wait outside the door if you need help down the stairs.”

“thanks,” Rus said, weakly. Edge only nodded and left, closing the door behind him.

The pants fit at the hips well enough, but Rus had to cuff them to keep from dragging on the floor. That was a novel experience, not too many Monsters back home were taller than him, especially not Blue.

He paused to think of his brother, closing his sockets. Right about now Blue would usually be waking him up to head out to his sentry post. Not today, today he was worried, maybe out searching the woods for him. maybe he’d been searching since last night. There was no way of knowing when Blue discovered he was actually missing and not just slacking off over in one of the Hotland posts, selling hot cats for an extra buck. He knew his brother, so well, and Blue would be frantic by now, Snowdin would have been searched from top to bottom and there was no way to let him know Rus was all right.

Well, mostly all right.

Rus sighed shakily and pulled the shirt Edge gave him over his head. He couldn’t worry about Blue now, worry wasn’t gonna get him home. But as he pulled on the shirt, he could smell the same laundry detergent his brother used, exactly the same, and by the time he yanked it down to his waist, Rus was angrily swiping away tears.

Time to get downstairs and start planning.

He limped his way cautiously to the door and happened to catch sight of himself in the mirror over the dresser. If he sounded like shit, he looked worse, but that wasn’t what froze him. The shirt was plain cotton, worn to softness over many washes, and looked as if once it proclaimed the wearer to be a ‘cool dude’. That was slashed across with red paint and bold penmanship declared overtop, “Bad Ass!”

It made him smile, a little sadly. The Edge he’d met yesterday seemed like the type to wear something like this but it was hard to reconcile that with the sweet kid he’d known, the one who was so awed by his first bisicle.

(I’m going to marry you, Russy.)

Rus shoved that memory back into the mental box at the back of his mind and headed out the door. Edge was waiting and again Rus was struck by how damn tall he was. It was one thing to notice it when he was sitting down, something else entirely when Rus was standing next to him and actually had to look up.

“Let me help you,” Edge said, reaching for him. Rus shied back, almost stumbling as his weak ankle protested.

“no! No, i’m good, thanks, i got it.”

If he didn’t already feel like shit, then the flutter of emotion that crossed Edge’s face would’ve done the job. The briefest flicker of obvious hurt, quickly masked.

Rus swallowed hard, “sorry, i didn’t mean--”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Edge said gruffly. He went past Rus, keeping a careful distance between them and headed downstairs.

Well, fuck.

He was feeling raw and unnerved, but there was no reason to take it out on the guy who was only trying to help him. Rus heaved a mental sigh and hobbled down after Edge, following him into the kitchen.

Red was already sitting at the table and the spread of food around him made Rus stare in drooling shock. There was a heaping plate of pancakes, melting butter oozing down the sides from the top of the stack. A plateful of brown sausages next to a bowl of cheery yellow scrambled eggs, golden hash browns, and fluffy biscuits alongside an open jar of bright red jam, a sticky spoon poking out of the top.

“mornin', bean pole,” Red mumbled, shoveling in another bite. “grab a plate and we’ll talk.”

Rus didn’t have a stomach to rumble, but damn if his soul didn’t give a lurch like it was about to hop out and load up a plate of its own. Rus hastily grabbed a plate and filled it, moaning aloud as he scooped up his first bite of syrupy pancake.

“this is so good,” Rus said around the mouthful. The look Edge sent him was so much like Blue, a pointed ‘Really? Those are your manners?’ stare, that he couldn’t help grinning sheepishly, swallowing before he repeated. “it’s great. considering some of the crap you cooked up back in the day, i gotta say, seeing you making decent food is probably the freakiest thing here.”

“nah, this ain't me,” Red said around his chewing. Edge swatted him on the back of the skull. Looked like he was less restrained with challenging his brother’s manners. Red swallowed and gave him an unapologetic grin. “sorry, bro. anyway, i don’t do the cooking, ‘bout all i can handle is reheating and dishes.”

“oh.” Rus managed a smile for Edge, trying not to let his gaze linger on the heavy crack through his socket. There was no good way to explain that it wasn’t the scar that put him off, it was what it meant. That innocent kid suffering and some part of Rus still believed he could’ve stopped it. If only, if only, and yeah, he hated that crack, hated it. But for right now, delicious pancakes were the game. ”edge, this is really amazingly good.”

“Thank you.” To Rus’s delight, his cheek bones went faintly pink. That scarred face was like a mask overtop the kid he’d known and every once in a while, the kid would peek out shyly. “This is somewhat more expansive than we’d normally have, but since we have a guest for breakfast--”

Red interrupted with a loud guffaw, “yeah, he put on the ritz for you. stay as long as you like if it’s gonna get me this kind of spread.”

Delicious as the food was, that reminder made Rus’s appetite wane. He managed a few more bites, not wanting to waste the food when he damn well knew himself how scarce supplies could be from time to time. In the end, Rus had to push his plate away, only half-eaten. Red was already finished, his plate practically licked clean and Edge only began eating after they finished, polishing off the cooling food and, yeah, maybe his manners were a little better but he still ate hungrily.

Red poured out coffee from a carafe, pushing mugs around the table. “okay, rus. now that we’ve got the eats outta the way, we need to figure out how the hell you got here. i’m guessin' you weren’t trying to show up at our door.”

Rus shook his head. “sorry, but no.” He took a sip of the coffee and almost gagged, “what the fuck is that?!”

“Chicory,” Edge said. He didn’t even bother to stifle his amusement and Rus pretended not to see he was finishing off the leftovers from Rus’s plate. “It’s easier to get and cheaper than coffee, but it does take some getting used to. Here.” He went to a tall cupboard and rummaged, bringing back a small jar. It was honey and Rus took it gratefully, stirring in a healthy (or not so much) spoonful. His next sip was still lingering bitter, but not quite that dark-roasted nightmare of the first.

“happy now?” Red asked lazily.

Rus was about to answer when Edge said, stiffly, “Yes.”

“good, then let’s get started.” Red leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees and his crimson gaze intent, “start from the beginning. tell me everythin', every detail, don’t care if you think it’s stupid, got me?”

So Rus did. Every detail, from getting up that morning, the way he’d been thinking about him and Edge, remembering them for no particular reason he could come up with. The way he’d felt agitated, almost urged to head downstairs to check on the machine. Despite what Red said, he still felt stupid describing how the machine made him feel, like it wanted to be used.

But the Fell brothers only listened intently and Edge nodded grimly as Rus haltingly explained how just being around the machine made his bones crawl.

“...and that was when i shortcutted out. i was trying to shortcut out to my sentry station, but--”

“wait,” Red interrupted, latching onto that eagerly, his sockets narrowing. “shortcut?”

With a jolt, Rus realized Red hadn’t been there when Sans taught him and it seemed he hadn’t figured it out on his own. “um, yeah, it’s kinda like teleporting. sans figured it out and he showed me how, before we shut down the machines.”

“Like teleporting?” Edge paused as he was clearing the table with a stack of plates in his hands. He looked a hellava lot more shocked than Red, sockets wide and astonished.

Red waved it off. “not that much of a surprise, bro, we know the docs were tryin' to find a way outta the barrier. okay,” Red said, slowly. “so you usually take a shortcut to your sentry station. you ever shortcut around the machine before?”

“loads of times,” Rus shrugged. “that’s how i got the damn thing to snowdin to begin with, i don’t even know how you two managed to move it.”

“we’ll go back to that. show me how a shortcut works.”

“now?”

Red raised brow bone and asked with sardonic politeness, “you wanna get home to blue?”

“um, yeah.” Guess Red had some asshole left in him. Rus looked around uncertainly. “i’ll go out to the living room?”

“wherever works, try it.”

Rus nodded and took a deep breath. Shortcutting was easy once you knew the trick of it. Drawing on his magic, the picture of where firmly in his mind, and all he needed to do was step through the void and--

Rus choked on a scream, every atom in his body felt like it was tearing itself apart from the inside in agonizing slow motion. The sear of pain blinded him and he nearly fell, saved only by Edge catching his arm and hauling him back upright. Thoughtlessly, Rus lurched into those strong arms, clinging as the pain slowly, slowly ebbed. They slipped around him after a startled moment, then pulled him in close, settling Rus to sit on bony legs as Edge murmured soft, wordless noises of comfort.

“oh, oh fuck,” Rus sobbed. His hands fisted into the shirt beneath his cheek bone. Little aftershocks were still spiking through him, vicious needle jabs of pain. “oh, that hurt so much.”

“easy, easy,” Red said, behind him, clearly upset, “shit, sorry! i thought somethin' might happen but I didn’t expect that!”

Rus barely heard him. He looked up at Edge, his vision blurred with tears as he whispered hoarsely, “i can’t shortcut.”

He’d been able to shortcut for some fifteen years now, it was his escape, his power, and to lose it felt like he really had lost a leg.

“I’m so sorry,” Edge said, softly. Offering gentle sympathy even though his face was proof he’d gone through so much more than Rus could imagine.

Thoughtlessly, Rus raised a hand, tracing that crack through his socket with a timid fingertip. He’d kept it for the effect, Edge said, offered to let Rus kiss it to make it better. That socket widened but Edge didn’t draw away, let him trace the ragged line down his cheek bone.

Then his sense kicked back in and Rus realized he was damn well sitting in Edge’s lap, groping his face like some kind of pervert.

Rus took a deep, shuddery breath and lurched unsteadily to his feet. “can i go outside and smoke here?”

“sure, go ahead,” Red said. His crimson eye lights searched Rus’s face carefully. “don’t wander too far from the house.”

Rus nodded and fled.

He walked slowly upstairs to get his cigarettes, where once he would have simply shortcutted up. Didn’t think about that, only rummaged through his hoodie for his smokes and lighter.

Downstairs, he hesitated at the front door. His shoe was stained with marrow, dried into dark splotches. Rus’s mouth tightened grimly as he shoved his bruised foot into it anyway, not bothering to tie them as he slipped out the door. The artificial light was at its highest, close to simulated noon, damn, he had slept a long time.

Rus dusted off the porch and sat down, shaking out a cigarette and lighting it despite the trembling flame of his lighter. The first rush of nicotine into his magic soothed him and Rus sat there, smoking quietly, but he couldn’t quite relax. He could still feel the low thrum of the shielding magic around the house, essentially checking and rechecking him for Intent, and finally, Rus stood and took a few steps away until the feeling faded.

From here, he could get a pretty good look at the town. If it was maybe a little dingy-er than his version of Snowdin, that wasn’t the only change. Instead of the bright, elegant sign lettering for Muffet’s Bakery, there was bold, plain one declaring itself as Grillby’s. He was too far away to see inside, but the Monster stumbling out the door didn’t look like they’d stopped in for a pastry.

The only Grillbie he knew was a Fire Monster who lived over in Hotland and she wouldn’t have been caught alive in Snowdin, since she was pretty much sure the snow would snuff her out two steps in.

He wondered if this world’s Muffet was in Hotland, if she ran her bakery out there and did she stop at a sentry station sometimes for a hotcat, or whatever they had here? Was Edge friends with this Grillby, did he stop in to get all the gossip? What else was not quite the same, tipped to one side and wrong? He didn’t know, but it was something to think about, wasn’t it. Better than remembering that he was stuck here and the wall surrounding Snowdin was in sight, a magic-soaked barrier to keep out whatever horrors lived in the Woods.

He stood there, lost in his wondering with nothing but miserable time to do it in, and that was how the children found him. The same kids he’d seen yesterday or maybe not, Rus couldn’t be sure.They approached him curiously, warily, all of them in worn clothes showing neat patches and clomping around in an older siblings’ hand-me-down boots. But their cheeks were full and their eyes were bright, interested in this new stranger in their midst. The pack of them were standing around the mailboxes, huddling together as if by sticking close, maybe Rus wouldn’t see them staring.

They almost looked familiar, another sidestep away from his world.

“hey,” Rus called out to them. A half dozen pairs of eyes went wide, one kid muffling a startled shriek and Rus shook his head. Kids. Looked like they were about the same even in different universes. He crouched to put out his cigarette in the snow before shoving the butt into his pocket. “hey, you guys want to see a magic trick?”

That got ‘em. Rus reached into his pocket and pulled out a G coin, weaving it easily through his fingers. It was a cheap trick but it do look impressive to a kid, and soon the boldest of them left the herd, creeping in closer to watch with wide eyes as Rus spun the gold piece through his fingers, walking it across his knuckles in a spin and a dance.

Since he didn’t grab the brave one and eat him or something, the other kids seemed to decide he was safe enough. They all crept closer, a collection of wide eyes and runny noses, watching as he switched hands, staring as that coin pirouetted and twirled across the backs of his fingers.

He ended with a flourish, the coin spinning up high for Rus to snatch out of the air. He bowed grandly and the kids gave him a smattering of applause.

“ah, but i’m not finished! watch this.”

He crouched down next to the bold kid and showed him the coin. “i bet you can blow this coin away. wanna try?”

The kid nodded furiously and Rus went through the whole show of it. Waving it around so all the kids could see, carefully palming it before holding out his empty fist for the kid to blow on. The round of gasps that came when he opened his hand to show the ‘vanished’ coin was better than any applause from doing card tricks at the NTT resort.

“oh, but wait!” Rus reached behind the kid’s head and ‘plucked’ the coin from thin air, showing it to them all. “Didn’t get far, did it? Here, kid.” He flipped the coin and it spun in the air, head over tails. The kid fumbled for it, wide eyes shining almost as much as the coin.

“For me?”

Again, that memory of the bisicle, of Edge’s low, childish whisper as if he couldn’t believe anything so wonderful could be his. This time it was almost paralyzing, Rus standing with his grin frozen even as the child’s smile began to wobble.

“um. yeah.” Rus fumbled for words before that smile could disappear. “yeah, it’s...it’s all yours, big guy.”

The kid didn’t even say thank you and Rus didn’t give a shit. It was all right there, in those wide, wide eyes and all the kids surrounded him as they walked away, chattering excitedly. Rus watched them go, the turmoil of his emotions swerving into a new direction.

“That’s the second time I’ve seen that trick and I’m still not sure how you did it.”

If he wasn’t already a skeleton, Rus would have jumped out of his fucking skin. As it was, he jerked so hard he almost toppled into the snow, his sore ankle raising everloving hell. Edge was a few feet away, hands tucked into his pockets and a faint smile playing on his mouth. Maybe Rus was getting used to that scar, he actually relaxed to see it was only Edge.

“a magician never reveals his secrets,” Rus said breezily. Then curiously, “you remember that?”

“Of course. That was the last morning I saw you.”

Edge reached into the front of his shirt and pulled out a chain and Rus blinked when Edge showed him that dangling from it was a G coin, as untarnished and shiny as the day he’d given it away.

“you kept it?” Rus asked, disbelieving. He reached up to touch it without thinking, hesitating inches away, his hand curling into a fist.

Edge didn’t seem to notice. His wry grin was softer, teasing. “Well, I had to. It seems that my world doesn’t take G with the Queen’s face on it.” Then he sobered. “I wouldn’t have used it, anyway. You gave it to me.”

“i…” Rus didn’t know what to say to that. He looked up into Edge’s face, searching for any sign of that kid...kids. He looked around wildly, but all the sprogs were gone. “shit! that means he won’t be able to spend that!”

“I’ll take care of it. It was kind of you, to give him that.”

Rus shrugged uncomfortably. “no big deal, it’s only a g.”

The way Edge studied him, deep crimson eye lights resting on Rus’s face, was unsettling in a way Rus couldn’t quite explain. “You still do that, too.”

“do what?” Rus asked distractedly. Another cigarette sounded great right now and he started rummaging for the crumpled pack, fishing one out.

“Deflect when someone compliments you.”

Rus froze, unlit cigarette clenched in his teeth. No fucking way, Edge was hardly more than a baby bones when they closed off their machine, he didn’t need late-day psychoanalysis from someone who slept with a teddy bear. Rus shook his head, trying not to snap as he said, “i do not! it’s not a big deal, that’s all!”

“You do, but that’s all right, Russy.” Edge smiled and there it was, always in that smile. Little Edge, the kid who sat in his lap for stories. “I don’t mind telling you again. Excuse me, I’d better catch them before they try to use that coin in the shop.”

He strode off and Rus watched him go. Putting this version of Edge on top of his memories was almost exactly like trying to compare this Snowdin to his own. Not quite right, tipped a little to the side, and off.

He still wasn’t sure whether it was a good or a bad thing.

tbc