#I hate brussel sprouts
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A couple of somewhat antisocial Christmas designs, involving brussel sprouts (of course) and a Christmas music theme. How many people can relate to these?
If you feel like checking them out, links are below:
Brussel Sprouts (Black Text) - https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/155484808?asc=u
Brussel Sprouts (White Text) - https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/155485288?asc=u
FFS, Not Another Christmas Song! - https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/155437354?asc=u
FFS, Not Another Christmas Song! (Double Sided Mug) - https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/155437617?asc=u
#funny design#cute characters#illustration#redbubble#findyourthing#redbubbleshop#christmas tree#christmas gift#I hate christmas music#not another christmas song#I hate brussel sprouts#brussel sprout#funny t shirt#funny mug#grumpy#antisocial#don't talk to me#christmas illustration#christmas#xmas
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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I offer some pittwins insta requests from back during spooky month
#the owl house#pittwins#luz noceda#hunter toh#niko art#THE TWO CREATURES EVER#Hunter would have no idea what a brussel sprout is and i can’t decide whether it’s funnier if he loves it or hates it#Luz disowns him if he likes it#OTGW AU????#that’d be fun to cook up
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I'm begging on my hands and knees for more Twilight au, and those are words I never thought I'd say! Anakin being able to resist compulsion, and Obi-Wan seeming instantly obsessed, and poor Shmi! Pretty please 🥺🙏
hey!! sure! here's some more!
(2.5k)
Having a sheriff for a mom sucked a lot when he was a kid growing up in a small town. There was probably nothing Anakin was rebelling against more at eleven, at thirteen, at seventeen than the rule of law his mother represented.
All things considered, she was pretty good at separating her home life from her worklife. It was Anakin who was bad at respecting the separation, Anakin who couldn’t keep son out of delinquent. There’s only so many times he could be pulled out of wreckage and bars and buildings with Keep Out No Trespassing signs on them before he got The Sheriff at home and out in public.
He’d hated it growing up and had come to grudgingly respect it later and in fits and starts. His dad dying had, terribly and ironically, helped a lot. His mother had had a stroke just before and then Anakin had been faced with the possibility of being an orphan, and the terror of that had mellowed him out.
Sorta.
He still hates a lot of things about his mother’s job. Especially the fact that she’s the sheriff of a very small town.
And when people talk, she listens.
The thing about small towns is that everyone’s always fucking talking. And other people are always fucking lsitening so they can talk later. One big fucking community, which means when Anakin comes home from his weird doctor’s appointment with Dr. Kenobi, a few hours later because he took a detour biking along the edge of the seaside cliffs just to spit in the good doctor’s metaphorical face, Shmi Skywalker already knows more than Anakin ever planned to tell her.
Like, for instance, “Sheila says that Dr. Kenobi thought it would behoove you to spend some time at the local library volunteering.”
Anakin pauses, backpack half-slung off his shoulders. He hangs his stuff up slowly, careful to keep his tone very light. “Did Sheila say what I told him after he said that?”
His mom’s silence is very loud.
“I don’t want to do i—”
“I asked the new librarian about it on my way home from the station. She thinks it’s a wonderful idea. Apparently we used to have a program like that in the forties but it died out during the war.”
“Mom, come on—”
“It’ll look good on resumes, saying you created and supported a local reading program.”
“Yeah, but I’m a bit too old to be applying for babysitting positio—”
“It’ll look good for me as well,” Shmi says in her sheriff voice. “Elections are coming up soon. It’ll be good, if my kid was involved in the community.”
Anakin’s glad that his back is still turned to the living room, where his mom is sitting. “Are you gonna run again?” he asks, paying special attention to his tone this time.
“Why wouldn’t I?” his mom replies. “I’ve been sheriff for a decade and a half.”
Anakin lets his eyes fall closed for a second, knowing that his face can’t be seen. This is how they end up half the time: Shmi’s ardent belief that she is invincible, going up against Anakin’s desperate desire for her to be so.
And they just don’t talk about it. As if they’re actually in agreement.
He knows how this is going to shake out.
“Do you have any plans tomorrow?” His mother asks.
Anakin’s eyes remain closed. “I guess so,” he says.
—--------
Mrs. Kenobi—call me Satine—is sort of scary up close. She’s tall. She glides between bookshelves. Anakin’s never met someone who glides before. And she’s so intensely, incredibly, blindingly perfect that Anakin would rather be anywhere but in her vicinity. There’s something incredibly unnerving about the symmetry of her face, the sharpness of her cheekbones. She’s obviously an absolute knock-out, just drop-dead gorgeous, but it makes Anakin’s skin crawl and his heart beat fast, but not in a good way or a normal teenage boy way.
Anakin tries to keep the unease off his face as Satine leads him through a tour of the library, a gentle hand on his forearm. That’s another thing Anakin doesn’t really like. She’s wearing satin gloves. He doesn’t know anyone who wears gloves anymore.
It’s just all a bit…unsettling.
“I put in a few words around the school yesterday afternoon,” Satine tells him. They pass by the mystery section, the fantasy section, and take a hard right into the young adult section. The shelves are smaller here, and Anakin feels rather stupidly gigantic as he and Satine walk through them. “To some parents picking their children up after school. They agreed it would be good exposure to bring them to the library for an hour or so of reading before supper.”
Anakin highly doubts it will be, but Satine hasn’t really asked him.
She sweeps past his figure and pushes open a pair of double doors with a flourish better suited for a Russian tsarina hosting an elaborate ball than a small town librarian showing off a small, cramped, and dusty room filled with padded seats and threadbare rugs.
And then, as if she has been waiting to put the last nail in the proverbial coffin, Satine adds, “A few students from the local high school will be here as well.”
“Sorry,” Anakin says, “are you saying I’m going to be reading to high school students? Can’t they do that themselves?”
After all, Anakin went to high school here. Academics hadn’t been too rigorously challenging, but they’d taught the fucking basics.
Satine raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow in his direction. “They’ll be volunteering as well.”
Oh. Right.
“It looks good on their college applications,” Satine waves a hand through the air and the words linger there. Anakin looks out the rather dirty window, jaw clenching. “I’ve already chosen a handful of books I think the young ones will enjoy.”
Anakin, committed to his fate, pads over to the titles placed carefully ontop of a short, stout side table.
“Peter the Rabbit,” he reads off the top. “Peter Pan. Alice in Wonderland. Treasure Island. The Prince and the Pauper—look, you’re the librarian here, but don’t you have anything written this century maybe? Harry Potter, even.”
“These are classics,” Satine tells him, her nose raised into the air as if she has encountered something particularly foul-smelling. She turns away, presumably to return to the front desk so she can welcome half the fucking town inside the library so Anakin can read them fucking Anne of Green Gables and become a better person.
“These are fucking boring,” he mutters to himself, flicking the cover of the first book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz open. Publication date: 1900. “I’d rather be in Kenobi’s office getting lectured at.”
There’s a sharp noise of disapproval from the doorway, and Anakin’s head snaps up to see the tail end of a very heated look from the librarian before the door closes behind her.
He shivers, alone in the emply room, and it takes several long minutes for his heart to settle back into its normal pace.
—----------
After the fourth kid sneezes, Anakin closes his book with a snap and stands from the very small chair they’ve got him sitting on. “Come on,” he tells the cluster of children he’s been assigned to. “We’re getting out of here.”
“Are you kidnapping us?” One of them, a snot-nosed kid who’d started the sneezing says, rubbing at her cheek beneath her glasses. “Cause mommy says that’s not allowed.”
“I’m not kidnapping you,” Anakin snaps back, barely holding in his natural follow-up to the sentence which is of course, I don’t want to be around any of you in the first place. “Also, just for future reference, you shouldn’t ask if someone’s kidnapping you after you already start following them.”
The girl scowls and reaches up her hand to hold onto Anakin’s.
For the love of Christ.
“We’re just going to go into the main part of the library,” Anakin tells his children, all six of them. “They have windows out there.”
They have windows out there and they also have parents. Parents who absolutely should be doing other things with their lives and precious hour of extra freetime.
Parents who are clustered instead around the library’s front desk as the town’s newest librarian holds court.
“Is reading time over?” one of the kids asks him, turning his head to look up at Anakin.
Anakin thinks about it. “Do you want reading time to be over?”
The kid thinks about it back. “Yeah,” he decides. “You don’t do the voices good.”
“It’s a boring book,” Anakin tells the kid. “Voices aren’t going to make it better.”
“Voices always make it better,” another kid says. “They make everything better.”
“Oh look,” Anakin says. “Is that your father?”
He gestures vaguely towards the cluster of drooling middle-aged somethings focused on Satine.
The kid peeks around his thigh and then shakes his head. “No,” he says. “That’s Dr. Obi.”
“Dr. Obi!” The kid holding Anakin’s hand says, and she lets go.
Anakin gets a bad feeling about this, a feeling that only doubles when he turns around to see Dr. Kenobi sauntering towards him, hands tucked into the pockets of a long dark jacket that makes him look even more pale than he already is.
He scowls automatically as the man gets closer. “Dr. Obi.”
Dr. Kenobi spares him a look that’s far too amused for Anakin’s pleasure before he crouches down to the level of the kids. “Hello there, young ones,” he says, opening his arms to accept a hug from the traitor of a girl Anakin’s just spent thirty minutes reading to. “Are you eating all your vegetables? Even the brussel sprouts?”
“I like brussel sprouts,” one of the kids reports sounding proud, and that starts a cacophony of opinions about brussel sprouts from all around Anakin.
“Wow! One of mine just absolutely hates them,” Dr. Kenobi says. “She refuses to eat them, so you’re very brave, Michele.” He lets go of the girl and turns his golden-brown gaze up to Anakin. “And what does Mr. Skywalker think?” he asks, raising a hand for Anakin to take. It’s very obvious he’s asking for a hand up and Anakin is obeying before he thinks about it. He snatches his hand free almost too soon, but Dr. Kenobi doesn’t even have the grace to lose his balance and fall over.
His hand is like ice in Anakin’s, and Anakin stuffs his fingers into the pocket of his jacket automatically a second later.
“Do brussel sprouts help with circulation?” he’s biting out before he can stop himself. “Cause you may need some then.”
Kenobi’s head tilts very slightly to the side as his eyes catch and hold onto Anakin’s. “Oh?” he asks lightly.
“You’re cold,” is all Anakin mutters in return. He swipes his other hand against the back of his neck. “”S poor circlutation, isn’t it? Something in your diet maybe?” Dr. Kenobi blinks at him and then breaks into a wide smile. “I can assure my diet is very…circulation-mindful,” he says. “Blood health positive.”
Anakin’s mouth thins into a line. He guesses that’s what he gets for trying to give health advice to a doctor, especially a doctor like Kenobi who just so happens to be devastatingly attractive and also smart.
And also an asshole. And also married.
Speaking of which. “Are you here to fend off your wife’s admirers with a scalpel?” Kenobi’s eyebrows raise. “Young ones,” he turns his head away from Anakin, down to the children.
The strangest feeling breaks of Anakin the second Kenobi looks away, almost as if a strange pressure he hadn’t even realized had been building was suddenly dissolved.
The very small beginnings of a headache begin to thrum in his temples.
“Young ones, it’s time to find your parents, isn’t it?” Kenobi says, and like fucking magic, the crowd of six children around Anakin disperse, children swarming away from him towards the group of adults surrounding the front desk.
“Can you teach me how to do that?” Anakin blurts out, even though he’d meant to ignore Kenobi now that he doesn’t have to make nice in front of small kids. Not that he was really making nice in the first place. But now he definitely doesn’t have to.
Kenobi gives him a half-smile, eyes heavy-lidded. “It’s a special sort of skill that takes, above all else, much practice.”
Anakin scowls. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Does Kenobi think he can’t commit himself to something even as mundane as a fucking commanding persona? Does he think he doesn’t have it in him to be–-
Kenobi’s eyebrows go up again. “Has anyone ever told you that you are exceedingly defensive?”
“You’re extremely nosey,” Anakin snaps back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t you have better things to focus on right now anyway?”
He gestures loosely towards Satine, who has started playing with one of the mother’s bracelets as the other woman stands and looks at her rather dumbfounded.
Kenobi follows his gaze and then lets out a huff of laughter. “Satine can take care of herself,” he says, even though it hadn’t really been Satine that Anakin was worried about.
He’s about to open his mouth to say so when Kenobi turns back to him. His eyes are piercing, a dark, captivating sort of gold.
“Do you find my wife beautiful, Anakin?” he asks.
Anakin blinks. His headache is getting worse, which is probably down to what can only be a trick-question fashioned to look like a grenade lobbed at his feet. “I don’t think there’s a good answer to that,” he mutters, rubbing absently at his forehead. “What the fuck.”
“An honest answer is a good one,” Kenobi says lightly. “Tell me honestly.”
The words feel pulled from Anakin’s stomach, and he’s opening his mouth before he realizes it. “No,” he says.
Kenobi’s eyebrows crinkle together. “No?”
Anakin curses his stupid impulse control. “She’s beautiful,” he adds quickly. “Really. But…it makes me uncomfortable.”
Kenobi’s lips purse, and then there’s something like disappointment in his eyes as he examines Anakin. “Ah yes,” he murmurs. “I’ve been told my wife can make countless young men feel rather uncomfortable. It’s normal in men your age, Anakin. Sexual ar—”
“Uncanny,” Anakin blurts out. He doesn’t mean to, but he also doesn’t want to listen to Kenobi trying to lecture him on fucking arousal in the public library. When it’s not even relevant. “She’s so beautiful, it’s uncanny.”
“Uncanny.”
“Yeah, like. Monstrous.”
Kenobi’s mouth falls open, pink lips parted in what looks like honest surprise.
Anakin’s own eyes widen as it hits him that he’s just called Kenobi’s wife a monster to Kenobi’s face.
“Shit,” he says. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m going to go.”
He throws a look at Kenobi, whose eyes are lit with something a lot like interest and then across the library to where Satine’s head is turned, cocked, and eyebrows up high on her forehead, as if she’s just heard everything he’s said.
He decides rather immediately that he’s going to take the backdoor exit.
#asks#twilight au#obikin#a couple of things:#all the books mentioned are published before 1920 because satine was probably a young mother around that time#imo she became a vampire during ww1#brussel sprouts tasted very bitter in the 60s through the 90s before we tweaked how they were grown genetics wise#so kids used to hate them and one of the vampires in obi-wan's coven was a kid during the 60s so has strong memories of brussel sprouts#being awful#satine's special vampire power is her beauty which is like double that of the normal enthralling/alluring/perfect predator beauty#so anakin's own sort of immunity to vampire powers a la bella means he just finds it unnerving and uncanny#but he did fall prey to obi-wans mind trick at the end there because the immunity thing i think would be something he has to practice#to get strong at#so his immunity kicked in at satine's beauty and it didn't affect him#but he couldn't also effectively protect himself from obi-wan's mind compulsion#to tell the truth#because systems overloaded
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forever and always an outspoken hater of eating brussels sprouts in the workplace
#I WILL make a deal about it because it REEKS#and don't think I hate brussels sprouts#but however my coworker is preparing them it somehow makes they stink even more than usual#it's second only to microwaving fish for lunch (yes I had a coworker who did that)
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not sure if you celebrate but happy thanskgiving! <3 i set aside a plate for u wifey
HEYYY ML <333 (excuse the dryness of this response, i'm typing this up on my laptop so i can't use any emojis unfortunately 0-0 )
no, i do not celebrate thanksgiving, but it's nice of u to drop in and say happy thanksgiving anyway! <3
*cue a hundred thousand million heart emojis to compensate for the fact that this response is so dry 'cause of my laptop, again, i apologise* :/
#i'm spiritually there with u#for the plate u saved me#'cause let me tell you#i've seen sm about thanksgiving dinner on tiktok#and everything looks so good like i'm envious#i don't celebrate it for a number of reasons#the mains being 1. i'm british so it just doesn't exist in the uk lol#2. the origins of it which are pretty dark unfortunately#i love mac and cheese#in my head me and my wifey reinaswrld have cooking dates tgth#like i'll cook and she can just look pretty on the countertop and eat what i make#(i like cooking and LOVEEE baking)#thanksgiving dinner from the top of my head includessss#a roast turkey#mac and cheese as a side (idk that's CRIMINAL like it should be a main idc i love it)#stuffing#ik a lot of people hate it but i LOVE it#my wife will feed me it (pretty pls with a cherry on top?)#cranberry sauce? i've never tried it...#we can try it together ksjsnkndkjds#and i THINK brussel sprouts but i might just be mixing that with christmas dinner or something lol#ANYWAY#TY FOR DROPPING IN ML#REINASWRLD <333333
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my mom always mocks me when I make new things but when my dad also likes them she gets REALLY passive aggressive about it lmfao
#brother it is not a contest. i am not being a better housewife to your deadbeat than you are. im his fucking loser daughter relax#anyway i made edamame for the first time and it is so tasty#and easy!!!! 10m in the air fryer right from frozen with some olive oil and seasonings#i don't like a LOT of foods but ive been trying to experiment with different vegetables lately to try and find more staples#bc i don't like 80% of the food my mom makes (all hamburger meat all the time i HATE ground beef)#(or maybe she just doesnt season it well idk)#so having tasty and easy vegetables be my staple instead of like#frozen chicken nuggets lol#is very exciting to me#garlic olive oil onion powder paprika my beloved. its fixing me#its kind of silly that im only learning what foods i like as a grown adult but whatever ive embraced that im slow#roasted veggies my beloved#anyway does anyone have any other recommendations for vegetables to try? i love broccoli and cauliflower and edamame now#and carrots#maybe i should try roasting brussel sprouts again......hmmmmm
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Eh, I figured comparing the high and mighty “King of Ku” to a disliked vegetable would damage his ego more.
Sigmund Freud will be my ally if it means standing against you and Hikari's pathetic army. You will be nobody's cowboy bitch but mine.
Mugen.
I. Will. End. You.
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actually you know what. i dont want to dislike zucchini.......give me your best zucchini recipes. convert me.
#i hated broccoli n brussels sprouts too growin up bc i never had it prepared in an actual Tasty way just. steamed and unseasoned and gross#but i adore them now that i can cook food good. it feels unfair not to give zucchini the same chance#hell ive even started liking fish which i HATED growing up#clown shoe noises
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I'm so happy tastes change when you get older
#i love dr pepper now#kid me hated it#maybe i should try other things kid me hated#like black licorice#... that's all i can think of#i like onions mushrooms and tomato now. kid me didn't#and i still dislike broccoli and brussel sprouts#they both have very strong flavours that i find unpleasant#they used to make me throw up#my gag reflex isn't as sensitive anymore but sometimes i still gag#i also just find broccoli kinda seeps into whatever else it's cooked with#i cant really enjoy the other parts of the dish if broccoli was ever involved because it becomes the only thing i can taste#idk 🤷♂️ it's 4am and i accidentally made myself nocturnal#so you get strange ramblings
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love being in charge of thanksgiving dinner i taste tested the turkey and went god damn this is the worst bird ive made to date by far but no skin off my back. then dinner rolls around and people are begging me to open a restaurant
#abrahim: im sorry but the cranberry sauce was a little too spicy this year#me (agrees): thats ok barby#abrahim 20 minutes later: actually after having a little more i changed my mind it’s really good#i should use this power for evil or something#woof#guest: the bird is SO moist#me: it’s like drywall actually but thanks?#what fucking thanksgiving dinners have you people been having. jesus christ#anyway here’s a rundown of the dinner.#potato leek soup: what it says on the tin. blended to a puree. the secret ingredient is curry powder and i#dress it with a basil infused EVOO drizzle and top with crispy bacon.#turkey: i brine in an orange-apple cider vinegar-white onion-cinnamon-star anise brine for at least overnight#then cover in a compound butter of rosemary sage oregano and garlic#aromatics in the cavity#the cranberry sauce is made with orange juice star anise and cinnamon.#i also repurposed some of#the cranberry sauce this year to infuse into my candied pomelo rinds#the mashed potatoes are mashed potatoes. idk I hate cooking potatoes I didn’t do anything special there#just a fuckton of butter. it’s meant to be a canvas for the rest of the food anyway.#zayn was in charge of veg because he is a veg god. he did brussel sprouts and roasted sweet potato#and both were a highlight for lots of people. he keeps things simple too but he just knows what herbs and spices to use#he’s so so good at keeping things healthy which imo is a greater accomplishment than what i do#all of my siblings are amazing cooks#oh and for dessert I ordered a lemon lavender cake for Zayn’s birthday and picked up pumpkin and pecan pies. barby brought eggnog
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only had to experience the nightmare of nobody warning me that what i thought was going to be a chill potluck was in fact a formal lunch with a predetermined menu once and now every time it's announced "we're going to have [meal] with your grandma" i'm like And What Does That Mean, Specifically
#love to be autistic and then Surprised with a menu where the only vegetable is: brussels sprouts#not like. a basic green salad. no#a plate of steamed brussels sprouts#and then to have a beautiful piece of cod delivered to me with a massive slab of hollondaise slapped on top of it. hateful#experience then compounded by having to sit next to my aunt who is too demanding to service workers#and labors under the delusion that i am permanently 14 years old and also her child to boss around#babbles
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ok. come here. do you not like vegetables? that is possibly perfectly valid. i know some of them don't taste great on their own or have weird textures. you don't have to like them.
but before you do completely write them off, here's a tip. take it or leave it. you don't have to. just a tip. look up some south asian recipes. ask your brown friends. hell, if you want tell me a vegetable you want to try cooking in a new way and i'll drop some recipes. you don't have to like every vegetable. but especially if your issue with them is the taste, consider trying some desi recipes.
#honestly my mum can cook basically every vegetable#and i like at least 80% of them#the 20% i don't like is honestly more of a texture thing#but if anyone would like i would be happy to share#also you probably know that south asian food uses a lot of spices#if you can then buy them from a south asian shop or somewhere else you can get them in bulk#the ones in little glass bottles are insanely expensive for insanely little#i just see so much hate for things like brussel sprouts#and i'm just thinking 'well of course you don't like them if you do nothing but boil them and season with salt'#south asain#desi food
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a drag king named Russel Sprouts. is this anything
#brought to you by me seeing a post about brussel sprouts a second ago#unrelated but i hate when my period starts on a weekend when i planned to get a bunch of work done#I'll have to make myself get up early tomorrow to finish all I wanted to do today#at least it started over the weekend and not on a monday like last month#mia posts a thing
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youtube
still one of my fav promo vids from the d2 era
#the way Thomas reacts to his dare food#mans hates brussel sprouts#if they were cooked right i would steal those right off his plate#Youtube
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[discussing with therapist about coming to grips with things being off in my childhood]
Later on in conversation:
Me: “Oh yeah, I would eat all sorts of vegetables as a kid, even brussel sprouts, but just not broccoli. It made me gag. But my mom wanted me to eat it. So, when I was a toddler, she would strap me into my highchair, move it out of the kitchen into another room, and leave me in there by myself for hours until I ate it or she gave up.”
Therapist: “And do you think that’s normal for a parent to do?”
Me:
Me:
Me: “Well, not when you ask it like that—”
#and I still hate broccoli#except for when it’s steamed#love that#but like#why the insistence?#I would eat brussel sprouts and artichoke and asparagus and lettuce and carrots and celery and all that jazz#but she was hellbent on that one#nobody ever makes parents eat food they hate#parents only buy things they like from the store to feed the household#they don’t prepare meals they themselves dislike#but apparently it’s fine to force kids to eat hated foods
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My bf's mom made some brussel sprouts(i think they were roasted or something??), and they were DELICIOUS it was also my first time trying them.
god brussel sprouts are so goated. how the hell did they get known as the nasty vegetable
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