#I hate being kinky over the most random crap

[princelytwerp]

Tumblr must be looking at my kink page because help what is this ad

Like-

Showing me an animated ad where his stomach growls and he proceeds to say he’s hungry

Bro xD

[princescribbler]

How do I explain to my girlfriend that I need her to be a more dominant and controlling Domme and mommy to me? How to make her go as far as you and your mommy? You have #relationshipgoals. I want a mommy like GiggleByte and they are all fake and findoms

First, thanks so much for the lovely compliment to me and my adorable fiance, @giggle-byte . I agree, we definitely are relationship goals: our own! And I can try to give some basic advice to you, but I want to be super clear that I'm not a relationship or kink expert. Most of my knowledge comes through some basic education, years of therapy, and a few classes here and there and I'm not a qualified relationship counselor or sex therapist or anything like that, ok?

That said: both here and on my original blog, I have always loved helping give answers when I'm asked about this kinda stuff. So... sure, I'll try to help!

First: how to explain that you want me controlling Dominance from your partner: Well... have you been direct? How are you presenting your feelings? Step one when instigating a discussion like this is to start from a place of mutual understanding and neutrality.

I strongly recommend you have these kinds of discussions when not otherwise engaged in your dynamic: don't have the chat about kink when you're tired up, or plugged, or caged or whatever, because you need to be able to feel like you're both adults and autonomous, at least to start!

Also; how do you choose how you present your feelings? For example: "You don't domme hard enough" is a shitty thing to say, puts them on the defensive, etc. While "I love the D/s nature of our Ageplay dynamic and I would like to talk to you about maybe going even further, and ceding you more control over me. I like [x] and I don't like [y], and I want to see how we can both get more of what we want" is much Better. Try to approach the conversation one on one and respectfully and when not emotionally charged. And be honest about your true goals: asking for your partner to be 10%more dominant when you want a 24/7 TPE dynamic is just dishonest and sets you both up to fail. But asking for a 24/7 TPE mommy/ little dynamic then having to back out immediately because you never really talked through what it would look like? Also terrible.

Second: learn what is mutually beneficial. Caregivers often feel a NEED to care and maybe have a major dominant streak... but they aren't just automatons to fulfill your kinky desires! So find mutually beneficial outcomes.

For example: many caregivers love to give out punishments, while others really hate it and prefer to give out praise. Are you seeking to be a good and submissive little or are you asking to be her total brat, controlled and dominated? Find the mutual benefit where you're both feeling good.

Related to the idea of mutually beneficial: there are absolutely a ton of fakes, of findoms (real or bots), of scammers, absolutely! But if you're only finding those people... you need to find a place where lots of people are looking! For example, fetlife or similar dating and social networking sites. Instead of just hitting up one or two random new tumblr blogs a week, actively show off to people why you'd be a great partner, showcase what you bring to your dynamic, and you might even find they find you! I got lucky with my incredible momma princess @giggle-byte , because we met online and were both just friends to start. We developed our dynamic over YEARS and through a lot of patience and change... and through her being particularly cautious and patient, because i DID almost make a lot of dumb mistakes in our relationship. Heck, early on we broke up over my own emotional crap, only for me to get lots of therapy and recognize that it wasn't for the right reasons and I was passing up on love due to fear.

My point is this: you can't rush this, you need to discuss your needs clearly and in an adult way, you need to be honest with one another about expectations, be willing to try and adapt frequently, and don't expect a 24/7 power exchange and kink dynamic to just work the first time without lots and lots of trial and error and education.

Good luck to you and if I didn't answer anything you wanted to know about just send another ask, I'm happy to reply. Thanks and good luck, friend: if you handle these discussions well, if you seek a partnership based on mutual benefit, and you seek out kinksters on the right platforms you'll have a far, far better chance of fulfilling your own #relationshipgoals ok? Good luck, friend!

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S2 E12

quarantine: may 31 2020

season 2 episode 12: “Rubicon”

the guy is running. watch he just die and no one gets clarkes message. i would love it if clarkes plane just backfired but of course they save him. 

ok but wait why was cage just random carrying a oxygen tank when he himself doesnt even need one.

tsing out here with her own personal army. then just plucking these kids one by one. damn 

these grounders really be listening to clarke just because lexa said so?? damn these grounders be loyal minus gustus and that one guy that tried to kill clarke but then got eaten by king kong

is raven really the only person out here doing all this crap?? like does clarke not realize how big of an ask shes asking of raven? raven is magic and shit but she has some limitations just to be somewhat realistic. just chill the fuck out clarke raven is doing the best out here arguably more than clarke.

i love how bellamy is still wearing that hat still looking like sean malto. but also how has someone not noticed him? but i guess bellamy like joe from you as in if he wears a hat he magically blends in.

“...all of this is for nothing” way to put pressure on prettyboy bellamy like he didnt already know that. chill clarke everyone is trying their best out here. ngl i would hate to have clarke as a manager cuz i think she would micromanage the shit out of people. 

remember in the last episode when clarke asked what her job was well i think that i figured it out:

i also wanna mention that finn literally died idk less than a week ago but clarkes in charge being out and about commanding people years her senior. i get that we had that whole episode dedicated to how finns death affects clarke but still she got over that pretty quick. a little too quick. but i guess that if youre a sky person your emotional metabolism is just through the fucking roof...

ooo clarke still be salty toward her mom. but yeah kane is kinda an enabler

but why do these people have clear paper. the art department is feeling themselves on that one. like is it because they wanted to be edgy and futuristic or is it from an actual realistic viewpoint that the space people dont have trees to create paper................does this also mean that the space people didnt have toilet paper???????? but also back to the paper thing did these kids never learn how to write in cursive??? since i would imagine actual writing utensils are limited so idk if they waste it on teaching kids cursive. actually tho does anyone have an answer to these questions??? 

where did jaha get that antler stick. i kinda want one. i like to imagine that he just saw it lying somewhere on their way to the desert and said to himself i would look epic holding that stick and then went to pick up and started using it even tho he doesnt actually need a walking stick....any hunter x hunter fans?

jaha’s mask at 8:29 is an example of what not to wear during corona season

“thanks for the water?”...while looking down a bit flustered ”its, uh..it was no problem” emori and murphy? ship?

bellamy crawling through air vents to save the day...magenta from sky high who??

also bellamy’s ear piece is giving me everything. *i know that the following meme is just a tiny phone but i just really like it so idgaf

again with the inaccuracy of bone marrow extraction.

but what really gets me is clarke recognizing what procedure is going o just by the sound of a drill. ok who is she? she be like the boy that can identify a vacuum just by the sound. For those that don’t know what I’m talking about:

https://youtu.be/Ar5nLNku0CM

A missile?? where did these people get a missile

But also imagine if clarke was like actually i didn’t catch any of that conversation and bellamy just had to recap it like Luis in ant-man. I would die

thats a lot to ask of raven clarke. Like i could never get that shit done no matter how long you gave me. Yeah ppl be screwed if i was part of the 100

That hug btw Clarke and raven...ship? Jk i know it was just a friendship hug but yah can never know with these writers. Like i honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the writers said enemies (being part of that love triangle with finn) to friends to lovers

murphy and emori are definitly a ship. walking together behind with everyone else. Murphy said “i killed two people. I had my reasons but nobody cared.” Fuck you murphy you killed them cuz you a salty bitch. I also hate how he says this so blasé. Like dude want?? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Murphy also said im the bad guy. Murphy is a billie elish fan?? Duh.

woah when that girl pulled out her claw????? I fell out of my seat. its actually huge. she could grab a whole basket all. They did a great job concealing/ not drawing attention to her hand before like i was so fucking surprised.

��Its pretty badass” and murphy looking at that claw tho...murphy is into kinky shit. But also that look he gave her while she walked away that was the most genuine look I’ve ever seen out of murphy.

Bellamy shoving jasper into a wall and whispering...bellamy and jasper? ship?

this secret talk between bellamy and Dante....bellamy and president Dante? ship?

But i also like to imagine that during this meeting that bellamy has the song dont be suspious. Dont be suspious playing in his head

woah. Mountain man said inconito mode activated. Reminds me of one of those green soldiers in toy story especially during the opening scene of i think the first movie

This character development in clarke is something else like remember when she talked about the grounders wanting finn out in the open and not in private causing a huge public uproar. Look at her now talking in private with Lexa about the missile. Phenomenal character growth if you ask me.

they really put all their eggs in one basket with bellamy. But bellamy be a really good basket tho. Trust Lexa trust.

where tf did this guy get an RPG??

Woah Emori be the real bad guy. But honestly she could slit Murphy’s throat and he would still live because cockroaches can still live without their head.

raven you should have just shut up. You really dropped the ball there.

lincoln???? What are the chances??? Isn’t he still a druggie?? Honestly octavias little speech would not motivate me at all. If anything it would make me want to take more drugs. At this point i would just say to Lincoln “dont fight it”

i like how they took everything but they let jaha keep his stick.

caspian is reall dressed like a hipster that sells artisanal kombucha

Jaha really has some faith in murphy...jaha and murphy? ship?

Also that was a really good shot of them murphy, jaha, and their crew climbing up the hill with a giant moon in the background

Lexa is giving me padme vibez wearing that head scarf like that

they were going to let kane and indra die

yeah sorry to break it to you abby but your child is a killer but then again so are you sooo..you really cant be out here to judge your kid like that. Like mother like daughter. But you really cant lecture clarke on this. you literally gave your husband up and you let your daughter blame her best friend for it. And on top of this you were part of the council that sent 100 kid down to earth without even knowing if earth was survivable. ma’m get the fuck outta here.

but all those lives for bellamy. i think its worth it. Because bellamy is worth everything.

theyre linking arms they got monty no!! absolutely not. they took jasper but i gotta say better he than monty bc Monty is king. Yeah jasper really fumbled with that gun. Really not smart. jasper should have just shot tsing instead

Oof a containment breach. wow what an epic door stop. Sooo loong tsing. That was such a cruel death tho but yeah she kinda deserved it.

Does Dante play the cello?? A real renaissance man isn’t he?

wow this makes octaiva and lincoln like an epic couple that conquered the world. power couple. Goals *gag* but ok does that mean that Lincoln just stopped cold turkey just like that?? Hes just automatically better? No this is not how drug addiction works. But ok sure Jan.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 15 - 22.11.18 lb

15.11.18

“main tumhe poore shehar mein paagalon ki taraah dhoond raha tha aur tum yahan bistar ke neeche thi?”

..... well when you put it like that......

behen heavy philosophy mode mein. you two are genuinely so dysfunctional and fucking exhausting is2g.

lol ofc she throws everyone else under the bus with her.

even then gauri's on team jiju. this girl is too pure and none of these dumbasses here deserve her, honestly.

nani why didn't you just approach/team up with anika on day 1 itself? ainvayi mein itne din usko pareshaan kiya.

ok she's overdoing it with the glee at his tadap. no need to be such a sadist.

kyunki main tumse............ le bhai. phir se iski sui wahin jaake atak gayi. universe badal gaya, bhai ke issues nahi badle.

GOD WE'VE LITERALLLLY ALREADY WATCHED THESE TWO HAVE THIS EXACTTTTTTTTTT SAME CONVERSATIONNNNNNNN ALREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY JESUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ABOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EITHER WRITE BETTER OR END THE DAMN SHOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

finally a fucking apology.

YES. GO TO A FUCKING DOCTOR. PLS. I AM BEGGING YOU.

#1 fangirl is here. deepveer kaun, twinkle ko bas shivika chahiye.

lmao “chintu??? yeh KYA hai?”

lol anika gave twinkle a pat on her cheek toh shivaay bhi karke haq jataa raha hai uspe.

“chintu bhi koi naam hota hai kya?” pft. your name is billu. those in glass houses.......

ha, anika has the same point to make.

lolololol he's getting roped into doing the #twinTu wedding.

LMAO WHY THE FUCK WOULD TWINKLE'S PAPAJI LISTEN TO SOME RANDO DUDE FROM MUMBAI WHO DRAGGED HIS DAUGHTER UP ON A STAGE YESTERDAY FOR NO DAMN REASON LIKE THE WHOLE THING IS SHADY AND I'D DEMAND HIS SHADY ASS STAY AWAY FROM MY VERY YOUNG DAUGHTER

............. is khanna high this morning?????/

apparently shivaay told him to act like this. idk, i still think he's high.

aslkdjslfjldskjflskj why is she so beautiful it's truly unfair.

gauri is firmly back on #teamJiju.

saari devraniyo ko mutthi mein le liya hai isne.

godddddddddddddddddd this is such a boringggggg filler ep.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH ok i can't anymore with this goddamn filler ep. NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

16.11.18

everything about this is tacky. the set up, what she's wearing... just...... why? i'm being blinded.

her makeup is on point tho.

what he's wearing too. jfc. all the the styling is so bad.

oh ofc she trips over nothing. ugh lord.

he has same question, ke hamesha girti padti kyun ho? doctor ke paas le jaaon kya?

ohohoho get it billu.

kinky motherfucker.

how's her eye makeup completely intact after the blindfold also? idhar bas kajal lagao toh do min mein it's under my eyes making me look like a baby panda.

lol why is she so impressed he did this? he's rich. he hired ppl for it. not like he lit every diya by himself.

also i’d be worried. last time bhai ne itna taam jhaam kiya tha, toh seedha divorce papers thamaa diye the. so... saavdhan rahein, satark rahein.

lmao billu wants to fuck. so bad.

this chick is really hard to please. itna karne ke baad bhi isko bas 85% hua. suhaag raat pe tujhe badi mehnat karni padegi billu. better keep like 6, 7 redbulls by the bedside.

pft, you think that one pheeka peck was enough to get her to 100%? men and overestimating their...... skills.

“ab door mat jaana anika. door gayi toh main jee nahi paaonga.” waaah waaah. ladke ke emotions finally khul ke aa rahein hain.

“agar mujhe filmy baatein karni aati toh main aaj zor zor ke chilaake kehta... (...) par mujhse yeh sab nahi hota hai, toh mujhse jo hota hai main wahi karoonga. apne dil ki baat seedhe seedhe tumse kahoonga.”

OH FUCK ME THEY STOLE ADAPTED ONE OF MY MOST FAVT LINES IN LITERATURE EVER; KNIGHTLEY'S CONFESSION IN EMMA (“I cannot make speeches, Emma...If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me.”) ASDSKJFHSDKJFNDSLKFLDK

“agar main badla hoon... ya yoon kahoon ki SUDHRAA HOON...” lolololol

anika being literally every other woman is like ‘bitch literally all i needed from you is emotional honesty and communication. nothing else.’

ouff is universe mein bhi giganticass tacky ring.

lmao itttttaaa bada promise ring.

ab toh iske biwi bolne ka koi thrill hi nahi bacha. har teen din he keeps taking it back and bestowing it again, toh koi value hi nahi raha.

haan ok i love you is better.

waaah bhai, isse kehte hain Nayi Soch!

ok cute.

OUFFFFFFFFF KITNAAAAAAAAA KHEEEEEENCH RAHE HOOOOOOOO JUST FUCKEN GET OVER WITH ITTTTTTTTTTTT

“haan bol do?” waah, dat desperation and talab. i like.

oh man my poor dumb lovesick son. he's finally getting some happy in life. siiiiiiiiigh. may it last. (until he's offed at the end of this week. or the next? idk.)

i am omRu. omRu are me. ki bc in dono ki bakchodi khatam hi nahi hoti.

lmao gauri is me - kisi aur ki shaadi but more concerned about own wardrobe.

“kyun, kya jaldi hai?”

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS THARKI ASSHOLE I LOVE HIM

AUR KYA APT BIWI MILI HAI ISSE.

bhaabi bhi.

nani wants dhoom dhaam. but lord, i forgot roop still exists. ugh dafa karo.

ainvayi exposition line about prinku.

lakshman rekha ka mitaana. yaaaaaaaaaaas. finally.

(though it was in masking tape all these days, suddenly why’s it been made with some rando white powder????????)

and suddenly it’s back to being a masking tape border, which for some reason they’re WIPING, instead of just peeling off. god y’all dumb af.

19.11.18

blah blah blah safaai.

with heavy dose of rudy boy’s puppy eyes.

fuck me i'm really gonna miss my boys. like really really. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkk.

nani with the 2 foot rule again.

lmao ab kyun mooh bana rahe ho. it's not like you two were doing anything on a regular basis till now. you can wait two-three more days.

ouff ainvayi ka buildup drama to show girls and boys will be on opposite sides.

snort shivaay's bitchface at gauri saying “inka koi bharosa nahi pata nahi kab bhaag jaaye...”

i love these two together.

some more buildup from rudra. ughhhhhhh.

good. ok fwding.

ugh some fakery from roop.

huh?????????? why is she hating on him for “apne maa baap ko khaa gaya”?????? wtf is wrong with this woman? he was a kid when they died and had nothing to do with it??? god she's such a poorly written villain in every universe. imma just fwd every scene of hers.

blah blah team dulha v/s team dulhan garbage.

dang, omki getting me kinda hot with his annoyed adiyal-ness. ouff this man and his hotness will be missed.

behold the dichotomy of man. lol i love him. in both his forms.

more roop crap. fwding.

blah blah #teamDulha checking out dulhan.

same, anika. same.

good.

lol gotta say bhavya is really nailing the bitchy aunty thing.

“AYE BAS KARO TUMLOG, BOHUT HO GAYA TUM DONO KA NAATAK!!!!” lmaoooooooooooooooooo anika lost it for real.

pffffffffffffft.

also they recovered from that scene with roop pretty quick huh?

pft riVya pulled him from the middle of some business call and promptly abandoned him in front of #teamDulhan.

lol his face at “chalke dikha”

“height thodi kam hai.” “gel bhi baal mein thoda zyaada hi lagaata hai.” all legit and valid concerns.

thoda zyaada personal ho gaya.

“main anika ki SAAAAAAAAAARI zarooraton ka achche se khayaal rakhoonga.”

this fucking horndog. 5 saalon ki kasar abhi ke abhi poori kar raha hai.

riVya approve of the tharak. lol.

lmao @ om randomly bellowing CHEAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cutes. i love them all.

“bhai bada ho gaya.” lol idiot.

roop fucking with the haldi. fwding.

snort, omru warning shivaay to not feel anika up too much haldi ke bahaane.

OUFF LAGAATE HO YA NAHI I HAVE NO PATIENCE NEITHER FOR ROOP'S AINVAYI KA COUNTDOWN NA SHIVAAY'S SENTI SPEECH. FWDING.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the haldi's changing colour.

20.11.18

blah blah haldi nonsense.

fwdinggggggggggg.

oh now they remember that prinku exists.

this is such a random ainvayi ka plot with her?

fwding.

oh look chamak challo singh oberoi made her entry in this universe also.

blah blah fwding.

ok does this prinku plot/episode have anything worth watching?

why is she keeping the photo at that precarious place? kuch bhi.

cuties.

kaanch ka tootna is achcha shagun no? that's what i've always heard.

anyway, fwding.

that cat looks really uncomfortable at the way it's being held.

oh boy rudra has another party plan. meaning more punch. jfc.

cat seems more comfy being held by kunal. (ALWAYS SUPPORT THE HIND LEGS THO, PPL!!!!!!!)

the convo is boring and trite and repeated from OU, so imma just focus on physical hotness.

ofc nani gotta cockblock.

nani ke saamne toh sharam kar tharki insaan.

oh nani, yeh chappaed aur chittar kaash bachpan mein lagaaye hote isko. itna time nahi waste hota.

that haar is huge and ugly af. babies cute tho.

great mangalsutra bhi toot gaya. and this time roop had nothing to do with it.

le bhai yeh do bewakoof janne kar rahi hai party ki taiyyaaariyaan. kuch galat toh hona hi hai.

LMAO OM IS ME I AM OM. KAAM TOH KUCH KARTE NAHI, UPAR SE JO KAR RAHA HAI, USKO ATTITUDE. LEL.

fuck roop. fwding.

great rudra is digging his own grave.

lmao ok i really did laugh at bua in this scene.

ok this ep is boring af and i'm done. NEXTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah not watching the 21st waala ep coz looks to be fullllllll of bua's bs.

22.11.18

le pakdiiiiiiiiiii gayi buaaaa.

good to see shivaay in shark singh mode again.

YIKES HER SCREECHING.

hahahahha her baaaaad acting.

LMAO ROOPS DUMB ASS GAVE SHIPPING ADDRESS WITH RUDRA'S NAME AND BILLING TO HER OWN.

LOL SHE ALSO LEFT BAADAAMS ALL OVER THE POOLSIDE MAN WHAT A FUCKEN IDIOT SHE IS

daaaaaaang shivaay calling bua out step by step. knowing how much this kid is pyaar ka pyaasa from parental figures. sigh. poor child.

OMFG SHE TOLD HIM SHE HATES HIM AND HIS FACE

THIS FUCKING BITCH LEMME AT HER TERE BAADAAM KHAANE WAALE DAANT NA TOD DOON MAIN

ok fwding her dumbass rant.

....... ok tej told her the whole plan till the omRu supaari bit, but did he come from beyond the grave to tell her how he got killed? like, this makes no fuckin sense. she's the fucking worst villain in this show man.

ok fwding.

rudra hearddddddddddddddd.

LMAO THE WAY HE'S RUNNING AND SHIVAAY'S CHASING HIM DOWN THE STAIRS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

lol ofc. is ladke ke pait mein na kuch baat kabhi rahi hai na kabhi rahegi.

this is honestly a lot for om to take lmao.

shivaay still valiantly trying to cover up. par khanna aa gaya rang mein bhang daalne.

oh 5 years later om's like i asked you that day also. uss din ke baad tu aaj pooch raha hai???? beech mein tujhe yaad nahi aaya ki ek witness tha?

lol everyone's on team khanna and protecting him from shivaay's desperate/angry eyes.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the truth is out.

hope this guy took his heart meds today coz........... he's gonna need them.

obro hugs, not drugs. this is the shit i'm here for. more gimme more GIMME MORRRRRRRREEEEEEE. oh god how am i gonna live without the bhaichaara????????/ i really think i might have to give up the show purely because of the lack of brotherly love. PLEASE GOD LET THERE BE A NEW GENERATION OF OBROS I NEED THIS SWEET SWEET SIBLING LOVE HIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

oh suddenly prinku ka bhi akal thikaane aa gaya. chalo jiii......

ok dadi i don't give a shit about so whatever.

lmao i've really been enjoying nani's smugass face throughout this ep, ki i knew my sohna munda was shammi kapoor, not shakti kapoor.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ROOP TRYING TO SLINK AWAYYYYYYYYYYY HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

nani revelling in roop's downfall is amazing. i love it.

god some foreshadowing from roop. pls gtfo auntyji instead of putting nazar on my kids.aur mere bachon ke bachon ke bhi aas paas dikh mat jaiyyo!!!!!!!!

(glaring at @mukhtaleef coz she’s now put the unholy fear of god in me with her idea that bua is gonna raise shivaansh. PLEASE GOD ANYONE BUT HER. LET KHANNA RAISE HIM. LET TEENAGE SAHIL ADOPT HIM. ANYONE BUT THIS FUCKING BUA. PLS GOD LET HER DIE FIRST IN THIS DAMN UNIVERSE.)

EVERY SINGLE TIME EVERY SINGLE UNIVERSE THEY LET THIS FUCKEN BUA GET AWAY COZ THEY HAVE “LIHAAZ” FOR HER. CALL THE DAMN COPS YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.

blah blah red herring from anika. ouff. just get on with ittttttttt.

ok shaadi kal hai. good.

ok i’m exhausted af. baaki baad mein (kal?) karoongi. all the actual shaaadi shit. phew. need to legit chug a few gatorades and lie down for a few hours now.

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Gotham” S4E16

ONLY TWO MORE OF THESE TO GO, KIDDIES!

The rest of these reaction posts I’ll be uploading are not chronological order.  They’re like that because A) college and B) more college.

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font.  Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

Also, quick warning (and probably obligated to say this), we don’t like Barbara’s storyline.

AN:   I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post. 

*Lee shoots Sofia in the recap*  Oooooohhh!!

But she’s not dead though, apparently!

*sighs*  Nobody’s dead on this show...

And he’s [Jerome] alive!

*flatly*  Was there any doubt.

Meanwhile, at Arkham Asylum...

*The Arkham guard turns on her Walkman*  Oh, this is never a good idea...

*starts slow jamming out to "Fool For You” by Alice Smith*

Yeah headphones are required...

Ohhhh OK...

Because!  *points excitedly at screen when Jervis appears*

*scoffs in hilarity when Jervis tries to talk to the guard, who can’t hear him*

What.

*gasps when one of the guards pops up behind the main guard*

“Tortuga!  You almost gave me a heart attack!”  Tortuga?

*shrugs cluelessly*

*Tortuga slices the guard’s neck*  Ooooooohhhhhhh!!

Jesus God!

Jervis, I like your shorter hair much better.

Tortuga.... *claps hands*  THE MOCK TURTLE!

OH MY GOD!

YEAH!

Wha- oh my God...

*jaw drops in excitement when we see Scarecrow*

[Jervis] I LOVE YOUR NEWSPAPER HAT!

That’s a different actor [playing Scarecrow].  That’s not Charlie Tahan.

*chuckles*  He’s [Scarecrow] experimenting in his toilet.

Did he just put a whole bunch of that sodium stuff in his freaking toilet?

That thing is gonna get blown right off the wall in a matter of minutes.

I know!

*Scarecrow pours that crap on a lock*  Holy shit!

That’s all you were doing with that?!?

*Cue Jerome*  EEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Ohhh dear.

EEEEYYYYYY!!!

“When I [Jerome] say ‘three hairs past a freckle,’ gentlemen, I do not mean five hairs past.”  *both immediately smile*

“Boys, boys, let’s not squabble too early in our partnership.  There will be plenty of time to stab each other in the backs later!”  *both chuckle*

“That’s the spirit, boys.  Think big- and kinky.”  *done*

“And lose the weirdo.  She’s [Tortuga] giving me [Jerome] the heebie jeebies.”  *trying her absolute damndest not to laugh*

*laughs*  Stop calling us out!

*both yell in horror when Tortuga slices her own neck*

“Now, to free the rest of our cronies and blow this pop stand.”  WELL DANG!

It’s “Popsicle stand,” you cretin.

*laughs*  He don’t know that.

If you’re gonna insult me, do it properly.

WHO’S THE LOSER WITH THE DRUMS?!?

I KNOW, I LOVE THAT DUDE!!!

*both crack up at Jerome going down the aisle and making stupid faces at other inmates*

Ohhhhh, he’s great.

*jams out to opening theme*

“How many got out?”  “87.  The entire violent ward.”  *jaw drops in shock*

“Yeah, we’ve rounded up most of the serious nutjobs; they’re the guys that think they’re walruses or what not.”  *both immediately do finger guns at screen*

EEEEEEYYYYYYYY....

Any carpenters in there?

Please tell me there’s gonna be more Benedict Samuel.  Two minutes of that guy, and I already love him.

*chuckles*

Like he’s not the Jervis Tetch I know and love, but he’s entertaining as hell.

He’s very good!

Yeah, Benedict Samuel’s real voice sounds nothing like that.  It’s like stereotypically British.  But not Cockney, just British.

AN:  WHAT?!?!  HE’S ACTUALLY FROM AUSTRALIA?!?

*smiles*

“All right, listen up!  If I’d [Jim] have known I’d be seeing your ugly mugs tonight, I’d have stayed in the hospital.”  *both chuckle*

Ben McKenzie directed this episode, I forgot!

I take it that means we’re in for a good one.

AN:  Yes.

“Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim!”  *laughs*

JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM

“Do it, OR I’M [Jervis] GONNA KILL SOMEONE!  In case you have any doubts.”  *both crack the hell up*

I shouldn’t be... God, he’s good!

“Let’s go.”  Here we go go go go gooooo!

"You [Jim] said we had to have each other’s backs tonight, right?”  Yes!

“So what, we’re [Jim and Harvey] either idiots, or we’re hypnotized?  Good choices.”  *both laugh*

Oh please tell me this is the episode with Harvey being awesome.

Uh, that’s the next episode.

AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!

*Jervis meets Jim with a hypnotized couple*  SON OF A BITCH! 

Who the hell are they?!?

*so done*  A random married couple!  Because in the previous season, Jervis was all like “Oh, Jim, what are you worried about?  Your love life?!?” and I’m like “SHUT UP!”

“Lo and behold!  The bold Captain Jim Gordon, and his rusty caboose in tow.”  *chuckles*  ‘Rusty caboose in tow...’

*giggles*

Dude, look at that scarf [that Jervis wears]!

Do you recall when I [Jervis] first came to this fair city, Jim?  A bawling mess, wanting nothing more than to address the safety of my dear sister Alice?”  :/

“You gave me NO CHOICE!”  *tries not to laugh at the SUDDEN YELLING*

“I was willing to give you any life you wanted, just to keep you out of mine.”

*Jervis gives the command to drop the wrecking ball*  Ooohhh..

Oh shit-

*both yell and reel back in absolute horror when the couple gets squashed*

*both still in :O for a good minute or so*

He [Jervis] drives off!  *laughs*

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I JUST SAW!

That just killed the moment, just him randomly driving off.

I don’t know what the hell I just saw!

I don’t know either.

That was kinda awesome!  I’m not gonna lie!

*Bruce and Selina enter the precinct*  Yaaay!

The dynamic duo.

Yaay!

*laughs*  She [Selina] just growled at him [Bruce]!

Ooooohhhh I like that [Barbara’s] office.

I like her hair.

Season 4:  the season of Booze ™ !

*chuckles*

There’s just so much booze in this season!

*sings*  Alcohol... my per-ma-nent accessory...

*mouths while aggressively pumping hand holding phone in air*  Shots shots shots shots!

[Barbara] Don’t mix pills with booze.  Don’t do that.

“He [Ra’s] brought me [Barbara] back to life.  We’d never even met.  Why choose me?”  Because he brought you back to life?!?

Are you two [Barbara and Tabitha] still going out or like what?  What’s the situation here?

*shrugs*  I guess...

What’s the situation here?

Friends with benefits?

I guess...

*chuckles*  I don’t know...

*gasps when we get a flashback of Barbara’s death in S3*

Oh shit!

WHY HER THOUGH?!?  That is my question!

That’s a great shot though [of Ra’s reviving Barbara], I have to say.

What the hell...

*Ra’s brings out the Lazarus water*  Oooo-oohhhhhhh...

Is that from the Lazarus pit?!?

I think that’s from the Lazarus pit!  Yeah, ‘cause it’s like a neon color in this show!

Oh my God!

*Ra’s revives Barbara*  There we go.  That explains it.

So you can drink in it rather than bathe in it in this continuity.

Yeah.  I mean, you can do both.

*Barbara is resurrected*  Ohhh!

Oh shit!

“Oh, what a vital, poisonous little mind you [Barbara] have.  And yet, everybody hates you for it, don’t they?”  I don’t think that’s why they hate you.

“You are just the one I’ve been looking for.”  :/

“You [Barbara] shall become the Demon’s Head.  The League of Shadows will be yours to command, an army of assassins.”  *rubs head in frustration*  Ohhhh, are we doing this again... ohhh....

They’re not talking “Oh, Dark Knight!”  That’s later.

[Ra’s] You’re gonna hand the League of Assassins over to her [Barbara]?!?

I know, I don’t like it either.

WHy?!?

I don’t know.

That sounds stupid.

“I’m [Barbara] OK.”  No you’re not.

*The remnants of the married couple*  Oh my God.. those are just dummy parts sticking out of the bottom!

I mean, it was effective.

Yeah.

It was hella effective!

It was very effective!

“Midnight, right?  That’s less than an hour.”  Midnight?  Why is it always midnight?  *chuckles*

*shrugs*

“’Fliers become die-rs.’”  It’s like in “Lovers and Madmen.”  He rigged all of those people to jump to their deaths.

Ohhhhhhhhh!!

*slaps knee*  And it’s like in “Mad as a Hatter” [in Batman:  The Animated Series], when he told those guys to jump in the river!

*gasps*  Yeaahhhhh!  Oh my gosh!

AN:  Also, I highly recommend the comic “Lovers and Madmen.”  Different interpretation of the Joker but still pretty solid and also quotable.

*wheezes when Bruce tries to give Detective Harper money to protect him*

*tries not to laugh when Bruce starts to fake cry*

*laughs when Bruce pulls a Stealth Hi-Bye on Harper*

Bruuucceee!

*gasps and claps hands*  His [Jervis’s] theme in the background!

*jaw drops when it’s revealed that a lot of rooftops are lined by people ready to jump*

Ohhhhhh shit.

“Your ego, Bruce.  It’s huge.”  *tries not to laugh*

“Get over yourself.  It’d make you a little easier to be around.”  *both try not to laugh*

Oh...

Oh shit!

Oh... oh-

*Bruce ends up opening the door for Selina instead*  Oh.

*groans in frustration*

That’s not a hug, I’m just getting the door for ya!  *laughs*

*both laugh at Selina’s little giggle*

That little giggle, oh my God!

“You don’t owe me [Bruce] anything, Selina.  You never did.”  You two are adorable!

They’re cute!

“Geez, there’s a lot of gum under here!”  *chuckles*

*whispers*  What?

Ew no no no-

Oh no no-

*both yell loudly in disgust when Jerome eats some ABC gum*

You are crazy!

*chuckles*

“Jim,  it’s happening all over the city.  Thousands are climbing up roofs!”  How many people are in this freaking city?!?

Probably at least a couple thousand, I’d say.

“He [Jervis] must’ve commanded them [the drivers] to change the station so that we couldn’t find him.”  How complicated are these commands?  It’s like explaining Kilgrave’s powers.  Did he tell them to do that or...

“Ugh, it’s that song I [Harvey] hate!”  *chuckles*

*jams out and sings along with “Foolish Pride” by LAB*

“Just right!”  Oooh, broccoli cheddar [soup] though.  Good choice.

“Mamma Mia!”  *both start singing “Mamma Mia”*

“What was the special ingredient again?  Ah, right.  It was my [Jerome’s] hand.  The one you [Uncle Zach] dipped in a boiling pot of chicken stock!”  *both bug eyes*

“That smell, it was ...mouthwatering....”  *shakes head in disgust*

You are disgusting, dude!

“I [Zach] set out three bowls of soup, nephew, so I’d have enough for all my guests.”  [Crap]

*small gasp when the strong man drags Jerome out of the booth*

Ooh shit!

“The ‘just right’ soup is for him.  The ‘cold’ is for me!  I always loved gazpacho!  The ‘too hot,’ that’s for you, nephew.”  Ohhh shit!

Oh he’s gonna heat it again!  Damn!

*jaw drops when the microwave starts shorting out*

Isn’t this the Iceberg?!?

No, it’s her [Barbara’s] lounge.

The Sirens, right?

Yeah.

*All the lights go out*   Ooooooohhhhh!

Shit!

“We’re [the League] here for the Demon’s Head.  Where is he?”  “She.... is right here.”  I call bullshit.

It’s a flashlight.  I could make a joke out of that but I’m not going to.

*gasps when Hypnotized!Harvey knocks out Jim*

“Hickory, dickory, dock.  The copper went up the clock.  The clock struck 12, he fell pell-mell, and that was it for the cop.”  *in unison*   Noooooooooooooo.....

Ohhh dear.

*Zachary takes out the boiling soup for Jerome*  Oh no.

*gasps when Zachary prepares to pour the boiling soup on Jerome*

“Here, nephew, have a taste of one of my three soups!”  *in shock*  Roll credits!

AN:  The name of the episode actually came from in the writers’ room.  Tze Chun came in having ordered 3 soups and Charlie Huston (the writer of this episode) said “I’m gonna put that in the script” and Tze Chun went “Yeah, right.”  Welp.

*both yell in horror when Zachary pours the soup down Jerome’s throat*

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  [Jerome] You’re gonna have welts all over your face for a month, dude!

“No one deserves that.”  “You tell ‘em!”  *both have to stifle a laugh*

That is a very Joker moment, I have to say.

“Let him [Jerome] go... and get rid of the kid [Bruce].”  *bug eyes*

*Bruce throws a bunch of plates at the strong man*  Ohhhh shit!

Did he just No-Sell a porcelain plate to the face?!?

Yeah, he just did!

*both jaws drop in horror when Jerome finds the gallon of bleach meant for him*

He [Zach] was gonna poison his nephew!

“She’s [Barbara] got the Demon’s Head.  Ra’s chose her.”  “She doesn’t even know what it is.”  Fair point.

I don’t know what that haircut is.

Whose haircut?

That dude’s!

He doesn’t have any hair!

Exactly!

“Women serve in the League, but they do not lead.”  “That’s now a law, just a stupid tradition.  Ra’s chose her.  We need to honor his choice.”  Barbara’s like “Yes, random lady, I accept you!”

*gasps when Barbara takes out the male League member who tried killing her first*

“Anyone else want a shot at the title?”  Everybody does.

“Here comes the airplane!”  *tries not to laugh*

“Got it.  Lost it.  Write it down!”  Me in school.

*giggles when Jerome looks over at Bruce still fighting and does a quick second of fake shadow boxing*

*Jerome kills Zach*  :(

“Boy billionare Bruce Wayne, my [Jerome’s] savior!  Wow, I did not see that one coming.”  *both chuckle*

“Really makes a man wonder... what the hell is wrong with you?!?”  :[

*sighs*  Ohhh dear...

*claps hands when Jim finds Jervis at the radio station*  Let’s go!

How is he doing the whole hypnotizing thing?

It was over the radio.

Yeah, I know, but what does he use to do it?

He has a ticking mechanism.

Oh.  Does he always keep that on him or what?

He always has that [pocket watch] on him.  He goes “Look into my eyes and listen.”

Wait, if they can’t look into his eyes, then-

It’s the noise.

Oooohh kay.

It’s the stimuli.

*both yell and reel back in horror when Jim shoots Jervis’s hand*

What the hell was that for?!?

OK, here’s the thing:  he [Jervis] got shot in the freaking hand!

And it’s like nothing!

I will say though, the rhyming integrated in with the dialogue is done really well!

*in unison when Selina comes to save the day*  EEEEEYYYYYY!!!

*Bruce finally knocks out the strong man*  Oooohhh.

“Selina, huh?  Well isn’t that a nice name...”  Go to hell.

*Selina pulls a gun on Jerome*  Ohhh.

“Uh, uh, uh.  She’s not that kind of girl.”  Wanna bet?

“Oh, all right!  See you crazy kids later!  Ciao!”  *both crack up*

“Ra’s chose me [Barbara] for a reason, I know it.”  Looks like he was playing you for a stooge.

“You’re all so damn weak.  That’s it.  That is why Ra’s chose me.  Because he knew I would see how pitiful you all are.  Afraid of change.”  Yeah, that’s gonna endear you to them.

*bug eyes when the lights suddenly go out and gunfire ensues*

Shhiit!

Whaaaaaat?!?

What the hell is going on?

*The midnight bells go off*  Oooohhhh...

Noooo... nooooo....

Noooo.... we’re not doing this... noooo....

*both freak out in unison when the jumpers get ready*

*both freeze when there’s absolute radio silence*

“It worked!”  *both let out a huge sigh of relief*

That was good.  That was damn good!

*both giggle when the DJ gives Jim a thumbs up*

*Jim lets out a sigh of relief*  Same.

*Jim and Harvey enter the captain’s office*  That requires... some booze!  No, I’m kidding.

I’d want some booze after that.

OK, yeah.

“You [Jim] need a drink.”  *waves hand toward screen in agreement*

“Squirrels hide nuts for the winter.  I [Harvey] got this for whenever.“  EEEEYYYYYYYY!!!

The hell is that?

BOOOOOOZZEE!

*both giggle*

That looks like scotch.

No, that’s whiskey.  Like Fireball whiskey.  See, Harvey’s the hard drinker.

Yeah.  Gordon looks like he’s getting used to it.

He’s like “It’s dull.  Whatever.” *pretends to take a shot*  It’s like Steve Rogers. 

As long as it’s alcohol.

For glory, for justice-

*in unison*  -for sweet, sweet booze!

“[Jim] You know what I [Harvey] was thinking when I jumped in that car and I was flicking through those channels?  I was thinking ‘I can do this crazy thing.  ‘Cause if it goes sideways, Jim Gordon will save me.”  *both smile*

“Feet of clay are heavy to carry around.  That’s what the whiskey’s for.”  *softly chuckles*

“There are no heroes here.”  I will clink to that!

“Got the Wayne kid on line three.  Something about Valeska.”  Oh dear.

“I’ll see you at St. Ignatius, Jim.  You can yell at me [Bruce] there.”  *softly* Hoooooooo.... hoo hoo....

“Kid in trouble again?”  “More than he can handle.”  Summary of the show.

They put a mouthguard on him [Jervis]!

At least somebody’s gotta shut him up.

*Scarecrow douses a guard with fear toxin*  AAAAYYYYYYY!!!

Scarecrow!

*Jerome in his final costume*  EEEEEYYYYY!!

“How do you like the new threads?”  I like ‘em a lot!

Those are awesome!

*gasps and points excitedly at Scarecrow’s new costume*

“We have fish to fry.  And by fish, I mean faces... or feet... ah, something fun to fry!”  *laughs*

Man, he [Jerome] looks so good.  So does Scarecrow!

I know!  Everyone looks great!

Scarecrow looks amazing!

“ALL ABOOOOAAARRDD!”  Hey look, the Joker hijacks another truck!

And that’s the end of the episode!

Man, that was awesome!

[purghhappenings]

I LOVE your hc on shanks×mihawk! (I think their ship name is akataka??) and yes, it killed me that there is so little content about this ship. So can you do another hc on them but like, from the red haired pirates' POV? Like ben saw shanks with heart eyes staring at mihawk and he was like "oh crap" Thanks!

AhhhhH!!!!!!!!! It is akataka and if you search that your world will open up like mine did, alright we’re going to be going from basically Shanks and Mihawk first meeting to them developing over the years and i totally hope you like this cause I’ve been so excited to write about this all day. (This is kind of in the POV also kinda third person?? I’m so sorry if it sucks) 

I’m also putting this under the cut

Benn Beckman was usually a man of few words, and thankfully he had just the right amount of words for this situation. “What in God’s name were you thinking?!” -The next day after an entire town was leveled due to two pirates clashing

The day had started pretty normal, it was their captains birthday so naturally a party was held

They had stopped at a relatively calm Grand line island, rumors of a man with a permanent glare on his face reached the crew but “what does that matter, its my birthday”  -Shanks before Benn murdered him.

Luck be thy name, the permanent glare guy was at the fucking bar as the red haired pirates.

To this day both gentlemen refuse to admit they were too stupid to admit their undying lust and then love

Shanks: definitely love at first sightMihawk: It was something at first sight yeahYassop: murder at first sight

One wrong look turned Dracule “Hawk-eyes” Mihawk into a murderous heathen 

To this day Benn loses his shit because Mihawk thought Shanks wanted to pick a fight with how hard the guy was glaring at him but Shanks, in all of his glory, *cough* idiocy *cough* was completely and utterly star struck.

Benn: to most he looks constipated and severely confused but to us he still looks that way but it means he likes someone

Lucky Roo: My favorite part was they both didn’t know how to handle their obvious attraction and chose to have a fucking brawl in the bar

No, not with swords, even though they’re both swordsman I’m talking throwing punches and each other over shit

This went on for several years. For years they hated one another which the government of course tried to play up because of Shanks being an emperor and everytime his picture was shown Mihawk just fucking left(kinda like War of the Best, that motherfucker went nyoom)

Finally, they of course meet again on the same day, and Shanks has recovered enough brain cells that he shares with Buggy to start actively flirting with the terror known as Mihawk.

Eventually MIhawk gets so frustrated that he finally shouts “Why must you consistently appear on my birthday?!”

And like a fucking lightbulb every. single. red haired pirate crew member took a moment of silence for mihawk.

Shanks: Its your birthday?! -Said with a shit eating grinMihawk: What of it??Red Haired Pirates: Oh no.Shanks: Oh. Yes.

That was the last day Dracule “Hawkeyes” Mihawk ever had a cruise around the grandline in peace

Shanks at some point during this: he fucking enjoys it at this pointBenn marking down in a notebook: mihawk could be a masochist which is the least shocking thing our idiot captain has told about him

After the initial them wanting to absolute bang murder each other, they did start a bit slow because mihawk was a brick on the brake.

Or a total downer depending on which person you asked

A general consensus is Mihawk is the dumbest smart man they know because Shanks is fucking crazy and at least he had enough hindsight to say “I’m not getting out of this unless he dies or I do” and though he tried at first he realized some levels of crazy could not be killed

He seems pretty emotionless but Benn has never feared for his captains life more than when they met up after Shanks lost his arm and Mihawk almost slaughtered him, his crew, and half of the grandline

After Mihawk learned the story he said no kid is ever worth a limb, then he met his two children Perona and Zoro and his adopted son Luffy and dammit he would give up a limb for them too 

Benn has never feared for Mihawks life more than when Mihawk told Shanks he had gone after Luffy(in hindsight it was to keep other warlords off of him, but also to see what the kid was made of) Shanks was a momma bear and Mihawk actually disappeared for a few days 

Which also went into the notebook that has the affectionate title “Our Dumb Captain and his Somehow Slightly Dumber Boyfriend�� Or the ODCAHSSDB because Shanks and Mihawk almost figured out it existed and Yassop was quick to make them confused cause honest to god try saying ODCAHSSDB a few times like(i can barely type it)

The Red Haired Pirates did. Not. Approve. At first. They had good points like

  He’s tried to kill you

he’s a warlord

he’s trIED TO KILL YOU

HE’S A WARLORD WHO IS TOTALLY AGAINST YOU

They effectively fell on deaf ears because there were actual fucking hearts in his eyes.

They warmed up to the idea pretty fast when they realized mihawk wasn’t psychotic like their captain oh my god an actual fucking playing piece Benn is not afraid to admit he’s called Mihawk on Shanks when his captain is being unreasonable and wont listen

Mihawk will not hesitate to admit to calling Benn when Shank’s is being a little shit and he doesn’t have the time what do you mean Zoro’s lost he said he was going to the bathroom

They are allies and powerful ones at that, especially when both Benn and Mihawk get called because Shanks is being one giant little shit

Yassop; We’ve only ever had to call them together twice, but the one time Captain got so drunk he wanted to burn Marie Jois to the ground and while we’d love to do that, we. just. can’t.Lucky Roo: It was fucking hilarious I’ve never seen captain more afraid and unfortunately turned on in his life and I can’t get the image out of my head

Nobody is not saying Akataka is kinky but you do the math 

They’ve had more ups than they’ve had downs because of how well they mesh, where Mihawk doesn’t want to sympathize Shanks is there to sympathize and when Shanks is too involved Mihawk works well as an anchor-Rockstar at some point being so drunk explaining to random people

Over the twenty or so years Mihawk and Shanks have known and been together the Red Haired Pirates have seen them fight only one time. And they regret to inform you it was not over something difficult.

It was how to pronounce Donquixote Doflamingo while drunk which spiraled into Luffy and Law purposefully mispronouncing his name 

That is unfortunately the best fight Yassop has got to witness

LR: Shanks tried to fuck with Mihawk when I asked for the salt by trying to hand him over, but Mihawk had to have been expecting it because three seconds later and captain was in my lap

Shanks is a hopeless romantic, the hopeless part about it is he doesn’t know how to be romantic while all it takes from Dracule is him stopping by on his coffin boat and a rose and Shanks cannot function for three days

They’re very domestic which is odd for a band of pirates to see because when they shop together its as people not as two feared pirates

It was very unsettling.

As it was said, they didn’t like the warlord much, then realized he was an ally, but now he’s more of a family member. They all joke and tease him, sometimes if Shanks is busy they’ll call to just check up especially if they hear the world government is doing some shady shit(especially after moria)

No, now Mihawk is unfortunately(to his ego) almost considered a redhaired pirate just to a point of “No he’s not officially with us but cross him and you’ve crossed us”

After Shanks lost his arm Mihawk slaughtered several schools of sea kings out of spite -Yassop trying to spread that around on various islands 

OKAY!

I’m so sorry if this is terrible, I’d like to blame wine but I really can’t I haven’t ever written HC’s like this before more of my POV with various feat. Of what I imagine the characters to be saying so I really hope you like it(if not you may stone me or challenge me to a Davy Back Fight)

My inbox is always open so hit me up with more requests!!!! I’m always bored and loving talking you guys so thank you for the ask and I seriously hope you enjoy it!!!!

[kmxhynah]

1-91 ! Do it

Ask from here 

1:When did you lose your virginity? i don’t really remember 

2: Rough sex or soft sex? both but i like Rough better

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?  maybe i should keep this secret~

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? restaurant

5: Favourite sex position? Mmm doggy style, the pushup

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? I like both of them, but more dominant 

7: Have you ever had any one night stands? Yes

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? bed and couch.

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? Yes

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? Yes multiple times.

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like? Funny I don’t wear any

12: How often do you have sex? 3 to 4 times a day when i had someone..

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? …YES…

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? I do like to give 

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? I had none..for now

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? Cockiness by Rihanna

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? Birthday sex by Jeremih or  Earn it by the Weeknd

18: Are you into dressing up for sex? IF he ask for it I would

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? In the Shower

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?… Kim Jonghyun

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? Not haven’t…Hmm Depends with who.

22: Do you/would you use sex toys? If is to be used  for me yes, Unless i have a whip and i can torture the guy first.

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? A lot of time.

24: Would you have sex with your best friend? No

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink), I actually  smoke and drink after a sex night but also Smell the good stuff yet that one is rarely.

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? kisses on the neck and smooth low talk with a little dirty talk on it.

27: Early morning sex or late night sex? Late night sex

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? their Dick and lips

29: Favourite body part on the same sex? Boobs i love BOOBS

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: dildo and my gun

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: none for now

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] I had…i think i taste delicious 

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: I like it raw but hey some people like to use those plastic craps if they want to use it thats fine.

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: ice cream does that count?

35: Worst possible time to get horny: when I’m on a meeting and all guys are in the same fucking room…I hate it.

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? Oh Yes i do.

37: How much fapping is too much fapping: never  for me that is 

38: Best sexual complement you ever got: Hmm Maybe my mouth  job

39: Favorite foreplay activities: Nibbling earlobe, sucking and biting neck, stroking his dick etc.

40: What do you wear to bed? NOTHING

41: When was the first time you masturbated: when i was 12

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? Just pictures

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? Oh that was like 4 years ago.

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? Yes and would love to do it again. 

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome? don’t know, I don’t like sharing my man.

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? hair brush handle

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? Yes, I think i find lesbian porn hot specially if you are alone.

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not) Yes, I like when boys  when they use their mouth on me~

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? Hell yeah, it makes them look hot as fuck

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? I do feel bad for them because I have been with many guys and the person will choose me for one night only so sad…

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? yes  HONEY is stick as hell

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? None

53: Do you watch porn? Yes

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? yes..Because i like to choke people, Slap them,  tie them up, whip them..after that they call me freaky but they come back

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? Yes

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? No i wouldn’t mind 

57: If you could give yourself head, would you? Hmm don’t know

58: Booty or Boobs? Hard to decide but Boobs

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) No not my tyle 

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do? masturbate, fuck a girl hard, look at the mirror and see how sexy i am. work out. be a man whore

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate? a guy YES

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate? the people i had been with.

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? No

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) Toys and hand

65. What is your bra/penis size? mmmmm

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?  My hair brush handle

67. When was the last time you masturbated? few days ago

68. When was the last time you had sex? Hmm  i don’t know ~ maybe i do who knows

69. When was the last time you watched porn? 2 weeks ago

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? I had many times, my last was a pink silicone dildo

71. Guys:Circumsized? Circumcised guys are my choice

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?  Sincerely i like being touched

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? my clit

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? No

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? Nope

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? few days ago

77. Which wet dream was your favorite? when i suddenly meet a guy and that same night we are fucking in my dream.

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? Oh yes and we probably doing it more..

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? Hmmm  Character,  I do say Goku from DBZ

80. Favorite sexual position? Doggy style

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? Oh Yes I do

82. Are you into any BDSM? Sometimes

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? actually long time ago but he was taken and he was not into girls like me

84. Do you like dirty talk? Yes

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? I’m very loud  during sex

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? i had by phone calls i keep getting, it ruins the moment.

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch? Any type

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? No…Hopefully i don’t for now..

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them? Yes i had multiple times

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?  Yes I still do 

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?… No

[eydisian]

Motivation behind the setting

i hate the stock standard “medieval fantasy” british/west europe castles n forests garbage. it’s fine, and i can tolerate it i guess, but it just fails to excite my imagination as much as i’d like. maybe it’s a side effect of boring DMs and bad authors, but traditional medieval settings are just not interesting enough, to me. plus i know them like the back of my hand already, there’s nothing new about the setting that could jump out at me in a game.

so Eydís, and the surrounding countryside, are heavily based on turkish islamic and hindu architecture & culture. as a white person, much of my understanding is incredibly limited but by choosing a culture i’m unfamiliar with, i’m forced to research and learn! this has honestly been the most exciting part of it for me, looking up culturally and historically accurate fashions, learning more about monuments and historical buildings, figuring out what the core social values and etiquette are, and so on.

adapting that to a homebrew setting with particular adjustments to account for the really white-centric bullshit that D&D itself was built upon has been... interesting. because a lot of the adjustments i’ve made to eliminate racist and sexist allegories (back in 2e and again in 5e), such as removing drow as a “race” entirely and adapting them as a strange mythology, have been easy enough of a call to make, but others are not. a lot of the more “monstrous” races like hobgoblins and orcs have always carried a lot of physical traits that are undeniably there because of anti-black racism.

drow had the “black skin” and “violent feminist matriarchy” two-for-one whammy, hence removing them from my setting entirely, because there’s no easy way to adapt them to a more modern, less sexist, less racist interpretation. (if, in the future, i come up with a decent answer, i already have a plot that will allow for their future inclusion... just not right now). either they’re literally dark-skinned “black” elves and thus its a “the black people are evil” trope, or they’re black-colored white-people elves which is blackface, and in either case they’ve got that “kill all men” and “women are above all others” thing which, in a trans-inclusive setting, gets messy real quick even without the obvious anti-feminist bullshit going on.

orcs and hobgoblins, of course, have the broad-face, broad-nose, kinky hair texture thing which is clearly description of black americans and others of african descent. so what do you do with the “all hobgoblins are evil green/grey people” thing? i don’t know. make them more inhumanly monstrous, i suppose, to remove any traces of connection to a human race? i’m tentatively trying that out. but orcs, and specifically half-orcs, are a playable race with a negative intelligence stat adjustment. what that says is “black people are less intelligent than the other races, that is to say, white people.”

so i’m going to impress upon my players that intelligence is not IQ or education. a low-intelligence character is not stupid, but possibly had less access to certain kinds of education compared to more intelligent characters. by shifting intelligence from a raw, born-into-being ability, (and by extension all stats being earned rather than given), it says more about the character’s history and upbringing than about the entire race. so perhaps those of orcish descent are not simply less intelligent by nature, but have trouble being accommodated in primarily human-sized classrooms.

maybe they just really hate math and science but are still competent readers who enjoy a good piece of literature. maybe it’s the reverse. maybe they have poor memory skills, despite a wonderful and enriching education. maybe its a reflection of a cognitive difficulty not related to knowledge, but more like trouble focusing or studying. all of these things would absolutely explain why a “low-intelligence” character would have done poorly trying to be a wizard (which requires extensive study) or has a spell-casting penalty (you need to focus and remember proper order of steps).

i really, really enjoy the incorporation of ability statistics into character backstory, because people often take for granted the numbers as “my character was born naturally talented this way.” none of us were born with an intelligence score of 18. but the people who went on to grad school have an 18 (or higher!). body builders and the olympic strongmen (and women) weren’t born with an 18 in their strength score. they had to work hard for it, and keep training to maintain that strength. think about that.

and now we come to gender and sexuality and all that jazz.

so, clearly if i’m having everyone randomize their skin color (all races have the full spectrum of human skin tones... so a dark-skinned blonde elf might be colloquially called a drow elf), gender itself should be open to interpretation as well. in Eydís, gender and sex have a roughly three-way equal split. 33% of the population is cis male, 33% of the population is cis female, and 33% is everything else: intersex, transgender, nonbinary, etc. while yeah, that does mean there’s a 2/3rds majority to cis people, a 2/3rds majority seems to fit a lot better than the very vast (apparent) majority of the real world. that said, other countries may have varying amounts of gender diversity just like they may have varying amounts of racial diversity. Eydís itself is a cultural megahub, and it makes more sense to have a larger and more equally distributed mix of people (including those we consider minorities irl).

enough about the people of Eydís at large. let’s get into the technical crap.

Eydís is the capital city of the country of Adylae, an arid to semi-arid south-eastern country. Eydís itself resides on the eastern coast, settled on top of a cliffside peninsula. the city is the seat of the royal family, though most of the workings of the city itself are run by a parliament of council members elected by their respective guilds. these guilds in turn are run and populated by the tradesfolk of the city. the royal family and their advisory table take care of national and international concerns, entrusting the capital to the parliament. the division of rule in this way allows for ease of function for both parties, and it is only during times of great duress that either group involves themselves with the business of the other.

the largest monument in Eydís is the Hall of All Gods, a multi-theistic centre that predates the city by a good 100 years. it was built with the intent to end a centuries-long religious war that shook the continent by providing a place where all gods were represented equally. in truth, “evil” religions are not allowed a space of worship within the Hall because it contradicts the doctrines of all the others (those considered “good” or “neutral” by mechanical standards). anyone of faith who is not currently represented in the hall may approach and request an altar space to set up. many religions share rooms, as their significant natural symbols are the same (sunlight, trees, water, moonlight, fire, etc) and while it is meant to be a place of peace and equality, there is often tension and dissent, particularly where religion spills over into the realm of politics.

Eydís itself is surrounded by a thick wall with three western gates allowing entrance into the city. the wall itself is approximately 150m high and between 50 and 100 ft thick. the city proper is actually elevated above two previous levels of construction, as space within the walls is limited. most middle-class residents live in the central residential district, though there are also apartments and homes outside of that. the eastern district is where the estates of noble and notable families reside, along with the palace itself. the main entrance to this district is through the Hall square, and other entrances are gated and guarded.

below the main level is the undercity, where most of the poor live and work. very little sunlight reaches this level except through wells and skylights. some of this level, and the sublevel below it, are flooded to provide a sewer and waterway system to the city at large.

[princelytwerp]

I GOT GRANTED WITH THIS AD AGAIN TF XD

Game of Vampires, apparently, because I looked this time

But THIS AD

I wasn’t watching it with volume last time and I did this time

THE STOMACH GROWL SFX T-T

So silly how I spaz over a silly ad but auuuugh ._.

Tumblr must be looking at my kink page because help what is this ad

Like-

Showing me an animated ad where his stomach growls and he proceeds to say he’s hungry

Bro xD