#I hate arguing and trying to educate and explain things that I consider common sense

[nonbinaryeye]

I want to write my tragic doom relationship porn in peace, I do not want to AGAIN argue with queerphobic people in my class group chat.

[seriouslysnape]

First your writing is amazing! Second if you’re willing to write for young Snape will you consider writing him with a fellow classmate (Slytherin)? They’re best friends and there’s been mutual pining but neither of them recognize it, even though her other friends have tried to convince her that Snape is into her. And eventually he’s the one to finally confess and as he anxiously rambles on, she interrupts him by kissing him.

No worries if you don’t want to write it!

SO CUTE. THESE ARE THE BEST IDEAS. This one is stupid cheesy and fluffy. 

(Below the cut ofc) :)

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Taking Chances

Young Severus Snape x Fem. Reader

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 2,355

“Doesn’t it just take your breath away?”

__

“He’s looking at you again.” Your friend whispered from where she sat across from you.

You glanced over your shoulder to see the familiar Slytherin boy that you had become so acquainted with over the years. He was sitting by himself at one of the tables in the Hogwarts library, an overly large Advanced Potions book open in front of him. His black hair was unkempt and had grown well past his ears, his slender frame hunched over his study material as he quickly averted your gaze once you gave him a friendly smile.

You turned your attention back to your friend who was looking at you with a knowing smirk. You raised a brow.

“What?” You questioned.

“He likes you.” She stated quietly so no one else could hear.

You gave her a heavy sigh in response. Not this again.

“We’ve been over this. Severus doesn’t like me like that. We’re just friends.” You explained, hiding the disappointment in your voice.

“Friends who spend every day together and very clearly have a thing for each other.” She argued back, tapping her quill on her parchment.

It was common knowledge within the Slytherin House that you and Severus Snape were the unofficial couple of all the sixth years. The two of you had grown extremely close during your time at Hogwarts, and there weren’t many things that the two of you didn’t know about each other. You tended to be so close that you were blind to the fact that you both were crazy about each other.

“Is it so wrong for me to have a close friend who happens to be a boy?” You asked, feeling Severus’ stare on you again.

She shrugged, completely forgetting about the assignment she had been working on. Your other friends had been telling you for years that he admired you. They noticed the way he hid his face behind his hair when you complimented him or said something kind. Or the way he squirmed in his seat whenever you entered a room and sat next to him. The only time he ever really seemed to smile or have any sense of happiness at all was when you were around.

Other students always gave him such a hard time. He was a shy, quiet kid with not a lot of backbone to defend himself. He let other kids toss him around and walk all over him. You had always felt sorry for him. Any initial encounter you had with him had been nothing but pleasant. You were a popular Slytherin girl, boys and girls alike of all Houses were constantly feigning for your attention.

Severus was the only one who you had ever had any interest in.

He had a pure heart, which was more than you could say for anyone else who had ever tried to win you over. He was just a little different was all. There wasn’t anything wrong with that. You steadily began to build a beautiful friendship, and you saw a side of Severus that you were sure no one else would ever witness. He quickly became your best and most trusted friend.

You didn’t expect to fall in love with him though.

“Not at all. I’m just saying that it’s clear that you’re dancing around one another.” She pointed out, briefly looking at Severus and then back to you.

You didn’t offer any kind of response, hoping she’d drop the conversation. You were sure that she, along with the rest of your friends, were horribly wrong. You didn’t believe that Severus had feelings for you, no matter how badly you wanted it to be true.

She leaned in even closer, her voice even quieter than before.

“You know, [Y/N]...there’s no shame in making the first move.” She advised.

You snorted, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, and be horribly rejected and humiliated? No thanks.” You replied curtly.

She shot you a doubtful look.

“Come on. Severus would never embarrass you. The worst that could happen is that he says no to a date,” She said, trying her hardest to persuade you; “Just take a chance. You never know what might happen.”

You rolled your eyes again, packing up your stuff. You were done with this conversation.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend my time with someone less pushy.” You insulted your fellow Slytherin friend.

She didn’t take that personally. She brushed it off, knowing you were just frustrated. You moved yourself and your belongings to the table where Severus was sitting.

“Can I sit here?” You asked him sweetly, knowing he wouldn’t mind.

He nodded in response, acting as if he hadn’t just been staring at you for the last half hour. A hot blush crept onto his pale cheeks so he shook his head slightly to push his hair in front of his face to hide it.

“How is your Potions homework going? I haven’t done mine yet.” You asked, eyeing the book he had been reading from.

“Rather well. I can help you with yours, if you want.” He said.

Your chest fluttered gratefully at his offer. Severus was exceptional when it came to Potions. It wasn’t a shocker that he had chosen to take Advanced Potions this year. You were decent enough at it to qualify for the advanced class, but you still struggled with some concepts. Severus, on the other hand, completely aced it.

“That’d be great. This chapter has been hard for me.” You admitted, reaching into your bag to retrieve your less impressive Potions textbook.

He began to walk you through the homework, pointing out what each section required you to do. You had placed yourself next to him, watching as he scribbled the names of ingredients and amounts of each on the parchment. You watched how his focus trained in on what he was doing, and how he carefully explained certain concepts to you.

He was so cute when he was confident.

“You try this last one. It lists the ingredients and you have to figure out what potion the question is asking for.” He said, handing your quill back to you.

When you took it from his grip, your fingers brushed against his for a moment. His skin was surprisingly supple, yet calloused in some areas on his hand.. He spent a lot of time brewing potions, so you expected him to have some wear on them. Your eyes met his for a moment, looking stunned that your hands had just touched.

You quickly zoned back into your work, ignoring the flushing feeling you felt in your legs. He patiently waited for you to read the ingredients listed. He noted how your brows furrowed in concentration while you racked your brain of all the possible answers. You were dedicated to your work and education. You were motivated to be a successful witch after you graduated next year. He admired your work ethic and determination. He was so fond of the way you went out of your way to make him feel seen. You genuinely cared for him and made him happy.

“I think it’s...Everlasting Elixir?”” You said, half content with your answer.

“Exactly,” Severus confirmed; “You’re better at Potions than you give yourself credit for.”

You swallowed hard at his compliment, but gave him a kind smile. He really could be so charming...even if it was unintentional.

“Thanks, S. You’ve been a huge help.” You returned the compliment.

He gave a rare, but cute smile in return. He was more than willing to help you. A silence grew between the two of you. Suddenly, neither of you could think of what to say. You thought about what your friend had been saying. Maybe you should make a move. It wasn’t like it would kill you if you did. You didn’t want to ruin your friendship by any means, but you were afraid you’d regret it if you let this go undiscussed.

“Do you want to meet me in the courtyard later? The sunset is always so pretty this time of year and I hate watching it alone.” You said, deciding you needed more time if you were going to do this.

Sunset watching? Severus thought about that idea for a second or so. You hadn’t ever done that together. Wasn’t that something that couples did?

“Yes. I’d like that.” He accepted.

You sheepishly laughed, nodding excitedly.

“I’ll see you then.” You said, getting up from your seat and dashing out of the library.

You had to prepare yourself for any outcome. At least now you wouldn’t spend the rest of your life wondering what could’ve been.

__

Dusk came quickly over Hogwarts castle, faster than you wanted it to. The sky blended into a beautiful canvas of orange, purple, and red. You were sitting on a concrete ledge, your feet swinging over the side. You had been building this moment up in your head all day. You still didn’t even know what you were going to say. How would he react? What if it totally destroyed your friendship?

There were too many unknowns that you just didn’t want to deal with if you didn’t have to.

The courtyard was surprisingly quiet for a Friday evening. Usually there were all kinds of students spread out around it. You took that as a blessing though. At least now there wasn’t anyone around to witness your possible rejection. Soon after, you spotted Severus entering the courtyard. He was walking with his head lowered slightly, per usual. However, he seemed to be standing a little taller than he usually did.

“Hi, Severus.” You greeted.

He was lovestruck at how beautiful you looked in the golden hour lighting. Your skin glowed and your eyes sparkled with perfection. He just couldn’t understand how anyone could feel this strongly about someone. He often wished that you were trained in Legilimency so you could read his mind every time you saw him.

That way you’d know how he felt about you. He thought that he made his feelings clear over the last few years. He was obviously interested when he had conversations with you or even when he was in your presence. You were the only person he helped with Potions or any class for that matter. He had laid his feelings out on the table in the only way he knew how. Couldn’t you see how his heart yearned for you?

“You look wonderful.” He said as boldly as he could, taking a spot next to you.

You smiled for the thousandth time that day, thanking him graciously. You  looked to the sky, mesmerized by the pretty swirls of color.

“Doesn’t it just take your breath away?” You asked, sighing contently.

Severus replied, but his eyes weren’t on the sky. But you didn’t notice.

“Yes. Every time.” He confessed, his black eyes on you.

He continued on.

“I wasn’t aware that you watch the sunset often.” He stated.

You shrugged.

“I don’t do it every day. Just when I have time for it.” You explained, gaze still fixed on the sky.

He nodded in understanding. He thought about how you were a lot like a sunset. Beautiful, comforting, calm, consistent. He knew he could always count on you to show up for him. He loved that. He was close enough to you that your shoulders were almost touching. If he paid attention, he could feel body heat radiate off of you.

“Did you have a nice rest of your day?” He questioned.

He was always so curious to hear about your day. Every aspect of your life fascinated him. You liked that he always cared about the seemingly small things.

“I did. I managed to finish all my homework. I’m tired of having weekend work.” You laughed.

He laughed as well, a soft, calculated sound bubbling out of him. You felt your nerves begin to rise back in your belly. You had to do this while the moment was right. You had to get on with it. Just ask him how he felt...or rather confess your own feelings. You had put this off for far too long.

Take a chance. Just take a chance.

You took a breath to speak, ready to bite the bullet, but he beat you to the punch.

“[Y/N], can I tell you something?” He asked, forcing his hands to stop shaking.

You were stunned for a split second, but recovered rapidly.

“Of course. Anything.” You prompted him to go on.

He looked to his feet, his shyness shining through. He gulped and anxiously pushed his hair behind his face.

“I really like you.” He confessed through a tight breath.

Your brain short circuited. No way. The tables had surely turned. A million emotions crashed over you like a giant, ocean wave. You were flooded with excitement, relief, happiness, and love all at once. Severus went on.

“Uhm a-and not just as a friend. I lov- I like you a lot more than that,” He announced; “I d-don’t want you to be mad at me now, but-”

And then you kissed him, gently and sweetly.

It caught him off guard at first, not expecting that reaction. He took it as a good sign, kissing back before it was too late to do so. He never saw this moment coming, but he was so glad that it did. He had never had a girlfriend before, but he was pretty sure he was going to like it.

You pulled back to look at Severus, who was wildly blushing now.

“I’m definitely not mad.” You smirked.

He smiled softly and contently.

“You like me too?” He asked, wanting to be absolutely sure.

“Yes. I absolutely do.” You nodded happily.

He exhaled with relief. This was more than either of you could’ve ever dreamed of. It was something you had wanted for long that it almost didn’t feel real. He kissed you this time, adoring the feel of you against him. For a moment, your mind went to the conversation you had earlier. You knew one thing for sure.

You would definitely take chances more often.

[qqueenofhades]

I was hoping you would be able to help me form a response when my family says they're sick of hearing of systemic racism and white privilege because THEY have had to work for everything and believe nothing got handed to them (true in the way they're thinking, but you know what I mean).

Welp. First, I applaud you for taking the initiative to engage in difficult conversations with your family, since the only way embedded racist ideas are going to get confronted in white society is if racist white people hear it from their friends and family. They are going to cheerily ignore protestors, academics, newsreaders, popular culture, and certainly politicians who say anything to the contrary, but it’s harder to ignore and brush aside when it’s coming from people who are directly within your own family group. They can still then ignore it, but at least you’re trying to do something that is not at all fun but which is deeply necessary, and good for you.

First, there are a few things for you to consider. Is this a case where they actually don’t know the difference, but are willing to learn, or is this essentially sealioning (where they act like they don’t know the difference, but they absolutely do, and put the emotional labor on you to extensively define and explain and educate while never intending to change their stances on anything). If it’s the former, then there is some point in engaging in dialogue with them. If it’s the latter, it’s a giant emotional trap that you are within your rights not to engage with until they signal that they’re willing to engage productively. You don’t have to educate someone who is categorically unwilling to be educated (especially when it’s often deliberate ignorance). As people like to say, Google is free, and it’s their responsibility to take the first steps to change. You can continue to talk with them, but yes, that is contingent on them actually standing a chance of listening to you and not just you wearing yourself out on something that they don’t want to actually hear (because it threatens them and makes them feel Personally Wrong, and white people don’t like that).

There have been various books written on why it’s so hard to talk to white people about racism, which you may be interested in checking out, not least the book "Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race” by Renni Eddo-Lodge. Ibram X. Kendi has also written “How to Be An Antiracist,” one of the bestselling books of this summer, either of which would be useful either in shaping your own arguments or (if they’re receptive) giving to your family. Once again, this is contingent on them signalling that they’re actually willing to listen, and not just to make you do pointless emotional labor. These books are probably available from your public library (though there’s probably a waitlist) or in other easily available formats.

Next, it’s a basic tenet of an anti-racist education that white people have never had to do this kind of reckoning, and thus get whiny, defensive, guilt-tripping, and “it’s not about ME I’m a GOOD PERSON” when it comes up. This also rests on the damaging and deeply intertwined effects of racism and classism, which has to be understood if you’re going to talk about it. One of the greatest tricks that racist capitalism ever pulled is convincing poor white people that they had more in common with their filthy rich white masters (people whose way of life will never in a thousand years be anything like each other’s) simply because they shared the inherent racial “purity” of being white. There have been political studies written on how poor/undereducated/working class white people have become such a reliably Republican constituency, because they have been successfully manipulated to believe that the white overlords are their “people” and they will constantly vote against their own economic, social, and cultural interests in favor of enriching amoral white demagogues who beat the populist xenophobic drum. Then they blame black and brown people for society’s ills and for the reason that they stay poor, rather than the rampaging oligarchs awarding themselves massive tax breaks and billion-dollar bailouts and refusing to extend unemployment benefits in case people “make too much money” from not working, just to name the most recent example. They are so poisoned on populist politics and white supremacy, which assures them that they’re better than anyone else by virtue of being white, that they actively attack politicians and policy platforms and other social welfare initiatives that would materially improve their own lives as “un-American.” This is maddening and sometimes baffling, but it’s how it works. Whiteness trumps all, currently literally thanks to the Orange Fuhrer. Problems in life are the fault of the Other.

This isn’t to say that poor white people are “dumb” and just unable to realize it, because they’re caught in a system that has done this literally from the start of America. In the early 17th century, indentured laborers and slaves in the American colonies were in fact more likely to be white. (The word “slave” comes from “Slav,” since that was the predominant ethnicity of slaves in medieval Europe; i.e. white eastern Europeans.) But even despite the fact that they were unpaid laborers, they were still white and thus recognized as human by their white masters, and thus when slave ships began arriving, it was easier for everybody to simply outright demonize and dehumanize the black African slaves. The poor white indentured servants got to feel better than the black slaves simply for the fact of their whiteness. Their lives obviously sucked, but their whiteness was in fact a mitigating factor in the suckiness that it involved once it was easier to use “animalistic” black people. And we wonder why America can’t ever confront its racist history properly. As Kendi calls it in his other book, it is stamped from the beginning.

As it has been put before, white people can and often do have difficult lives, because late-stage capitalism devours its workers no matter what color they are, but their whiteness isn’t a factor in why their lives are difficult. They will never encounter racial prejudice, race-based hate crime, discrimination for housing, education, employment, bank loans, daily microaggressions and identity erasure, constantly racist tropes in the media, politicians fingering them as everything wrong with America/the world, casual prejudices or assumptions even from close friends, assumed criminality based just on their race -- etc etc. The list goes on and on. Just because you have a hardscrabble economic background does not mean that your life has been made harder by your race -- because if you’re white, it hasn’t. (And as noted, poor white people have consistently voted for megalomaniac white men who don’t give a shit about them but promise them that everything is fine or should be better for them because of their whiteness, and then blame minorities for being the source of their problems.)

I honestly wonder if racism would still be such a problem in America if we had a remotely more equitable economic system, because when you’re well off and have your basic needs consistently met and don’t need to worry that you’re one paycheck away from disaster, it’s harder to constantly be paranoid that your differently colored neighbors are stealing everything from you and the cause of all society’s ills. The historian Patrick Hyder Patterson wrote a very interesting book on material culture in Yugoslavia in the 20th century, where he basically argued that despite the spectacular collapse of the federation into the Yugoslavian wars of the 90s, things didn’t really go to hell until after the economy crashed following Josip Broz Tito’s death in 1980. While there were obviously ethnic fault lines and conflicts between Serbs, Croats, Montenegrins, Bosniaks, Albanians, etc, when there wasn’t any money and any jobs and everyone thought everyone else was to blame, THAT is when the whole thing blew up into a genocidal civil war clusterfuck. Food for thought.

This is why people talk about economic justice and racial justice as going hand in hand. When there is a scarcity of resources and no social safety net, people are obviously more inclined to look for scapegoats and to blame someone for taking their entitlement (while still somehow refusing to blame the billionaires and corporate oligarch who are ACTUALLY stealing from them). They indeed actively resist any attempts to make their own lives better as being “socialist” or “un-American” and take pride in the fact that there’s absolutely jacksquat nothing (until of course, something like the coronavirus pandemic hits and it’s revealed just how many of us were always one missed paycheck away from disaster). Then when they need government assistance (while disdaining the government as tyrannical the rest of the time, unless it’s Trump’s actively tyrannical lot, but hey, we don’t have time to unpack all that) it’s still shameful and something they shouldn’t be using, instead of their basic entitlement to a decent life.

This country is poisoned on a lot of toxic beliefs, but this is one of the deepest-running one, and which will always get in the way of poor white people dealing with racism: their lives suck, but they have ALWAYS been told that despite that, they’re still better just for being white, which is their consolation prize for supporting white populists who actively rob them, and they haven’t even always consciously registered that. They just feel that if they’re “fine,” even if they’re not fine, then black people are just malcontents and criminals who can’t hack it. In 2016, there was a lot of ink spilled over how poor white people felt a sense of economic grievance and being left behind, which was why they voted for Trump, but... Trump was never going to do a damn thing about that??? He doesn’t actually do anything for his supporters except feed them his jingoistic Orange Nazi stump speeches. They voted for Trump to feel vindicated, not to actually improve their lives, and it’s damn clear by now that not only has he NOT improved their lives, he has no desire to do so. He just wants them to cheer for him and feed his ego, not fix any problems.

Basically, racism and capitalism and the American political system intersect in multiple deeply toxic ways to do precisely what you’re talking about; producing poor white people who feel that they shouldn’t be included in the reckoning with racism because if THEY worked hard and they don’t live in a mansion, somehow racism is fake and black people should just shut up and get a job etc etc. This is because poor white people have been systematically conditioned to support white supremacy at the direct expense of their own economic and social interests; it’s terrible, but that’s how it functions. They will never in a million years have anything in common with the (white) ruling class, but they still instinctively identify with them rather than people in their own deprived economic class who are different races or colors or religions. That is how white supremacy has supported the hyper-inequality of the industrial age, and vice verse, and it is one of capitalism’s best functions for survival, so it’s in the interests of the overlords to maintain it. Stop the workers from recognizing pan-racial solidarity based on economic grievance, and compete with each other and blame each other rather than the overarching system, easy!

Anyway. Once again, this is long. But in short, the attitudes your family are exemplifying are a direct result of both racism and classism as they have been deliberately cultivated in the American social and political system, and the interlocking causes and symptoms of both have to be recognized (and acknowledged) before they can get to dealing with that. I don’t know how that will go, and I don’t have an easy shortcut. But I’m glad you’re trying. Good luck.

[crazycat-88]

Male Spider-Drider Lue x Female Reader (SFW)

Written for this prompt here on @monsterkinkmeme​

Features a male spider drider who is based on a peacock spider and a female reader.

Content: Arranged marriage, coerced marriage (though not really), mostly fluff, kissing, spider boi is a nervous wreck, so is reader.

Words: 4,569

You yawn and rub your eyes, waking from a lovely dream, wondering if you could sleep in just a little longer. The thought is squashed when you hear your mother call you down for breakfast. You sigh, even on your birthday you were denied a lie in. Tearing yourself from your bed, you dress and leave your room to join your parents at the breakfast table.

‘‘Good morning,’’ you say, sitting down at the table.

‘‘About time you got up,’’ your mother says, with a frown. ‘‘Your father and I have something we need to discuss with you.’’

What now, you think, looking between your parents, waiting expectantly. Your father sighs but keeps his head down, reading the paper.

‘‘Well?’’ Your mother says, looking at your father. ‘‘Of course... You want me to tell her, useless man.’’ Looking at you again, she sighs. ‘‘You’re betrothed, your fiancé will be coming here tomorrow to meet you and take you back to his home.’’

You laugh. ‘‘Very funny mother, and just who am I betrothed too? The dragon up the mountains?’’ You say, still laughing. Snorting, you pour yourself a cup of tea and look back back up to see your mother frowning. Looking to your father, you see he is looking at you in what you can only assume is pity.

‘‘I’m sorry my dear, but it’s true. You are betrothed, have been since you were just a baby. I’m afraid to say it’s all my fault too,’’ your father says wincing.

‘‘Wh-what? You can’t be serious!’’ you sputter, shaking you head, looking first at your mother before settling your gaze on your father. When he only nods, you stand yelling, ‘‘Who am I betrothed to? Tell me!’’

Your father looks away, wincing again and your mother sniffs derisively. ‘‘One of the drider princes that lives in the wild woods,’’ she says nonchalantly.

You fall back down in your seat in shock, staring at your mother with wide eyes, they cannot be serious. You hate spiders, you find them creepy and they scuttle about on eight freakish legs. As far as you were concerned driders where just bigger versions of spiders, much bigger versions, you think gulping.

‘‘H-how?... Wh-why?’’ you ask.

‘‘You do not know this… but we were very poor when you were born and your father had to do some questionable things to house and feed us,’’ your mother says, explaining. ‘‘When he got caught trying to steal from the driders, he pleaded for his freedom, explaining he had a wife and daughter to feed. In exchange for that freedom, he had to promise your hand in marriage to the kings second son. We were given land and money too, so we could raise you well and give you a good education.’’

You sit in shock, considering everything you had just learned. You had no idea your parents were once poor, they certainly never acted like it. You also had no idea your father was once a thief, it all sounded so unbelievable, and you're so angry that they never told you any of this before now. ‘‘What if I refuse? You cannot force me to marry?’’ you say, glaring at your mother.

‘‘If you refuse then you will be homeless.’’ Your mother hisses. ‘‘We will lose this house and all our money. You wouldn’t want to have us living on the streets, would you? Think of your poor father, he’s old and would never survive.’’

Looking at your father, you see that he won’t meet your eyes but unlike your mother he appears at least to be sorry, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Getting up, you storm up the stairs, ignoring your mothers call to come back and slamming your bedroom door. Throwing yourself on to your bed, you scream into the pillow, holding back tears.

How could your parents do this to you, you think. Your mother, you could understand but not your father. The two of you had always been close, you looked up to your father, he was your hero. As a child you thought your father could do no wrong, he was perfect as far as you were concerned. An adult now, you had come to realise that it was of course not true. No one is perfect and everyone has flaws, yet you thought your father's flaw was choosing a wife who was materialistic. You never would have thought he was once a common thief.

Your relationship with your mother was a different story, the two of you could never see eye to eye, always arguing. Your mother wanted a doll she could dress up prettily and tell what to do. You had no interest being dressed up, as a child you wanted to be outside, climbing trees and getting muddy, much to your mother's disappointment. Discovering her daughter would not be the child she wanted, she had developed a cruel streak, often belittling you and laughing at your failures.

Perhaps being betrothed was a blessing in disguise, you would no longer have it listen to your mother nag at your father or have her tell you every day how you were such a disappointment to her. You only wished your betrothed wasn’t a drider. How could you possibly marry such a creature. All the driders that you had seen were huge, almost double your size, and they had never seemed to be interested in humans.

You were aware that three different species of spider driders lived in the surrounding wild woods and up on the mountains. Only one type ever ventured into the town and they were huge, dark brown with two inch fangs, and extremely venomous. You were pretty sure they lived in the mountains though and your mother said your fiancé lived in the wild woods. Which meant you had no idea what type of spider drider you would be marrying.

The woods had been divided years ago between the two species and no one really knew much about them. Both species were reclusive and avoided the human town, likely the reason why humans had settled here surrounded by woods in the first place. You could always ask your father but you really did not want to speak to either of your parents right now.

You end up spending the rest of the day in your room, packing the items you wished to take with you. Your mother knocks on your door at one point, telling you through the door that you should be happy to be engaged to a prince, that you are lucky and will never want for anything. You roll your eyes but ignore her, maybe she’d be happy to marry for money but that is not important to you.

Your father knocks just as you are getting ready for bed, you ignore him too as he apologises through the door. In bed you cry silently, this will be the last time you sleep in this bed, in this room, and your future is so uncertain. You wonder what your fiancé will look like and how he will treat you, you're not expecting love but hope at least for civility. It occurs to you then that perhaps he will be unhappy to be wed to a human, maybe when he sees you, he will call the engagement off. You can only hope you think as you finally drift off to sleep.

******************************************

When you first wake in the morning, you momentary forget that you will be meeting your betrothed today and that you will be leaving your home to go with him to his. Sitting up you gaze around your to see the mess you have left it in packing your things and sigh remembering. You dress and before you leave your room, look down to see a letter has been pushed through under your bedroom door.

Tears stream down your face reading it, it is from your father, in it he tries to explain his actions and offers his apologies. He tells you he only agreed to the deal as he believed you would have a good and happy life as the driders he met were kind especially considering the circumstances. He goes on to say that he will understand and forgive you if you decide to refuse to marry and wishes you all the happiness in the world whatever your decision.

While you are still angry, you feel as though you cannot blame your father and know that you have already forgiven him, though your relationship may never be the same again. Resigned but feeling a sense of determination, you put on a brave face and go down to breakfast.

Breakfast itself is a silent affair, neither your mother or your father say a word to you and you do not engage them in conversation either. They finish eating before you and inform you that they are going into town, claiming it would be better if you met with your fiancé in private. Your father hugs you as he leaves and whispers another apology, you hug him back tightly, fearing this may be the last time you see him.

With your parents gone, you meander around the house, trying to find something to do to distract yourself. Just before lunch you hear a knock at the door, nervously you straighten out your dress and take a deep breath as you open the door. When your gaze lands on the drider on your doorstep, you stare at him in surprise.

He is the smallest drider you have ever seen, his height only being a couple of inches above your own. He looks to be around the same age as you with long blonde hair that is tied up high on his head. He has eight black eyes, four larger circular eyes sit in a row upon his face and a pair of smaller eyes sit on each side of his head. His human torso is lean and deathly pale as if he has never seen the sun, four arms are attached to this torso, ending in four hands, each clutching a bunch of wild flowers.

The transition between human torso and spider lower half starts at his hips, and you see that the light brown spider body is also smaller than you had been expecting, though he does have eight skinny legs which are jointed. The hairs on his spider body look incredibly fluffy and you're surprised at yourself when you feel the desire to reach out to see if he is as fluffy as he looks. Closing your mouth, you manage to produce a smile, and nod when he says your name questioningly.

‘‘It is a p-pleasure to finally meet you. I’m Lue. And these are for you,’’ he says, rushing his words and thrusting the flowers into your hands.

‘‘Oh… Thank you so much, these are beautiful,’’ you say, struggling to hold them all. As you struggle to balance them, you notice that they have been tied with a fine silk.

‘‘I was t-told that h-humans like flowers,’’ he stutters, smiling briefly. His voice his low and soft, though still masculine, and you feel your stomach flutter at the sound of it.

He also has a nice smile you think to yourself, and you briefly see a flash of two very small fangs before he hides them. Watching as wrings his hands together, you think he looks even more nervous than you feel. Feeling a lot calmer now yourself, seeing him so flustered, you gesture behind you and ask if he would like to come in.

‘‘Y-yes please,’’ he replies, shuffling inside. As he passes you spot a flash of colour on the back of his spider body and watch him curiously as he gazes around.

‘‘Thank you again for these. They really are very lovely,’’ you say, placing the flowers down. Looking back at Lue, you inspect him carefully. You never released driders came that small, and your honestly very relieved. He doesn’t appear frightening at all.

‘‘Your w-welcome,’’ he says. ‘‘I have another... more traditional courting gift for you too, but I thought it best to give you that when we return to my... I m-mean our home…’’ he chitters, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘‘Forgive me, I... wasn’t expecting you to be so pretty, not that I thought you wouldn’t be but… oh dear…’’ he chitters, nervously.

‘‘Oh… Thank you,’’ you start, unsure what to say and trying not to laugh at just how flustered he is. Considering him for a moment, you ask him curiously, ‘‘So… have you known of our engagement long?’’

‘‘Yes,’’ he says, nodding. ‘‘I’ve been aware of it since childhood… What about you?’’

‘‘I was just informed about it yesterday…’’ you say, frowning slightly.

You watch as his mouth drops open in shock. ‘‘Really?’’ he asks. ‘‘I’m s-sorry, this must have been a huge surprise for you then…’’

‘‘Yes…’’ you nod, sighing. ‘‘But it’s not your fault,’’ you add, giving him a small smile.

‘‘Are you… unhappy?’’ he chitters, shuffling all his eight legs.

Weighing your words carefully, it takes you a minute to respond. ‘‘I’m… upset. I wish that I had been told a long time ago…’’

‘‘We can call the wedding off... if you don’t want to marry me…’’ he says, sounding dejected. ‘‘I wouldn't want you to be unhappy.’’

Considering it for a moment, your almost tempted to say yes but looking at his sad face you feel your heart skip a beat. You would never have expected a drider to be so nervous, and despite your dislike of actual spiders you actually find this drider incredibly handsome. Yesterday you had thought that this engagement may be a blessing in disguise and so far Lue had been nothing like what you were expecting, perhaps it was a blessing.

‘‘No. I… wasn’t sure at first, honestly I’m a bit terrified of spiders but you… well you don’t seem too scary,’’ you chuckle nervously.

‘‘N-no I’m not, but I… completely understand how you feel, honestly I’m t-terrified of spiders myself,’’ he chitters, smiling gently.

‘‘Really?’’ You ask astonished.

‘‘I know… you wouldn’t think a drider would be s-scared of spiders but they are so... creepy,’’ he shudders. ‘‘Though I must admit, I’m scared of other driders too… they are just so big…’’ he chitters, chuckling slightly.

‘‘Me too,’’ you gasp, chuckling. ‘‘I was so worried when I opened the door, I was expecting a drider twice my size.’’ You both laugh for a moment, before you take a deep breath and ask, ‘‘Will we have to marry right away?’’

‘‘No…’’ he replies, shaking his head. Smiling gently, he continues, ‘‘The wedding hasn’t been finalised yet, we have t-time to get to know each other first. If you find you cannot see yourself married or living amongst us driders, I give you my word that I’ll return you to your home.’’

‘‘Perhaps you will decide you don’t want a human for a wife,’’ you chuckle, relieved that he was so understanding.

‘‘I… d-doubt that,’’ he chitters. ‘‘I was relieved to learn I was betrothed to a human… I’ve always been intrigued by your kind, and the females of my kind make me n-nervous, they are bigger than the males and are more aggressive.’’

‘‘You’ve spent time around humans? I’ve never seen your kind in town before…’’ you say, frowning curiously.

‘‘I’m not the first of my kind to be betrothed to a human... there aren’t many of us in these parts and the ma-majority of us are males,’’ he explains. ‘‘We are quite a reclusive species really, we never stray to far from our homes, and while technically this land is in our territory, it’s far too b-busy for us.’’

You spend the next couple of hours listening to Lue tell you how his grandfather, the former king, had made a land agreement with the first humans who came to the area. He tells you more about his home and the people there. Despite him mentioning other driders taking humans as wives, your surprised to hear that you will be living amongst other humans too, including one who is around the same age as you.

Lue asks you questions about yourself too and you end up staying long enough to say goodbye to your parents. Lue had calmed enough to no longer stutter when speaking to you but when your parents return, he becomes nervous again and you decide not to linger. Lue was clearly anxious being surrounded by people in an enclosed space. Hugging you father goodbye, you tell him that you will visit, for unless you have completely read Lue wrong, you know that he will not stop you from visiting your family.

********************************************

You settle into your new home well, surprised to find it is set up like a small village with wooden houses scattered amongst the trees. Lue’s father, Anatjari’s, home is situated in the center of these houses and while slightly more fancy than the others, you would not think it the house of a king. Upon meeting him though, you completely understand, he is very kind and places himself on the same level as his people.

While you really like Anatjari, you are glad to learn that you and Lue have your own home. It has two bedrooms and you are given a room to yourself. You are given a few days to settle in and get to know Lue before Anatjari invites both you and Lue to join him for dinner, where he informs you that the wedding has been arranged and will take place in a months time.

Taking a stroll through the woods that evening with Lue by your side, you gaze around watching as your drider neighbours head out to hunt. The village is quiet during the day with most of the occupants resting but when evening falls it is alive with activity. It is strange for you but you feel as though you will soon get used to it.

‘‘Is a months time going to be long enough to be sure about marrying me?’’ Lue asks quietly, bringing you out of your thoughts.

‘‘I think so…’’ you say, smiling at him. Lue was no longer so nervous around you that he still stuttered but he was always considerate of your feelings and careful with his words.

‘‘I’m glad. I want you to be really happy here... I want to make you happy.’’

‘‘I’m sure I will be. I’ve only really met your father but he seems lovely and I’m sure I’ll get on well with the others,’’ you say, nervously.

‘‘You will. Everyone will love you, my father already does,’’ he says, smiling gently.

‘‘Can I ask about your mother?’’ you say, tentatively. He’s not once mentioned her and neither had Anatjari.

‘‘Of course,’’ he says, stopping to face you. ‘‘There’s not much to tell really. She died when I was really young, and father doesn’t really like speaking about her… I don’t remember her at all and my brother only has vague memories.’’

‘‘I’m really sorry Lue,’’ you say, taking hold of one of his hands.

‘‘It’s alright,’’ he says blushing, looking at your hands entwined. ‘‘What's your relationship with your parents like?’’

You make conversation for awhile, telling him how you’re close to your father but not your mother, before Lue leaves to hunt and you head back to the house. Passing by another human, she smiles and waves you over to join her where she sits whittling a piece of wood.

‘‘Evening, I’ve been wanting to introduce myself since you got here,’’ she says, introducing herself. When you give her your name, she laughs, ‘‘I already know it, I was so excited to learn another human my own age would be coming to live here, I haven’t stopped asking Lowanna all about you.’’

Lowanna, you knew was Lue’s brother's wife, a female drider, but you hadn’t had the chance to speak to her yet and what with you being a bit wary after what Lue had said about the females of his species being aggressive, you were unsure about approaching any of the other driders.

‘‘I haven’t met her yet… I’ve only been introduced to Anatjari and Lue’s brother Jiemba,’’ you say. ‘‘What is she like? Lue told me the females could be… um… aggressive,’’ you whisper, looking around nervously, hoping none of the driders would overhear.

Laughing, she replies, ‘‘My mate told me the same thing but I think they are only like that with the males. Lowanna is lovely and really helped me to settle in here when I mated Dural.’’

Happy to hear this, you smile. ‘‘Were you betrothed too?’’

‘‘Oh no. I lived in a town south of here, and one day I got lost foraging in the woods. After wandering for hours I found Dural or well he found me I guess and well…’’ she shrugs, grinning, and then laughs, ‘‘I was so surprised, I had never seen a drider before but I had heard that they were huge, and then there was Dural, shorter than me, he is.’’

‘‘I was expecting Lue to be huge too and was so nervous to learn I was betrothed to a drider,’’ you laugh. ‘‘But Lue was more nervous than me, which really settled my nerves.’’

‘‘All the driders here are a bit like that… they’re incredibly skittish,’’ she replies laughing. ‘‘I’m sure you’ll be really happy here and I would be very happy to have another friend.’’

As the weeks pass, you see just how right she was. The driders here are easily startled but are all incredibly welcoming, especially the females. Lowanna makes it her mission to befriend you and introduce to everyone else, wanting to help you to settle in. She also tries to teach you the ways to keep the males in line but you just silently laugh, thinking that her methods would not work for you. Besides, you didn’t think you would need to worry about that with Lue as your mate.

Lue has been nothing but a perfect gentlemen since you had moved in with him, doing nothing more than hold your hand. Even then, he always asks for permission to touch you beforehand. So it comes as a surprise, when two days before the wedding, he takes your hand and asks you to follow him into his bedroom.

As the only room in the house that you haven’t seen, you gaze around curiously while he wrings his hands together nervously. The room is immaculately clean, with a large bed and a small wardrobe being the only furniture in the room. Taking a deep breath you look at Lue expectantly, waiting to see why he asked you in here.

‘‘Are you still sure about going ahead with the wedding?’’ He asks, nervously shuffling his legs.

‘‘Yes… I’m still sure Lue’’ Having already had this conservation the week before with Lue, your confused at why he is questioning you again. Lue had exceeded all your desired requirements in a husband and if you weren’t already in love with him, you were certainly falling in love. ‘‘Why? Are you not sure about marrying me?’’ You ask, nervously.

‘‘N-no I’m sure. I just… want to make sure that you’re happy here. I know it’s not the way of life you’re used to and I want my mate to be happy,’’ he says, smiling, flashing his small fangs.

‘‘Well… I’ve been happy so far,’’ you tell him, returning his smile.

‘‘I’m glad… I have a courting gift for you...’’

‘‘But I thought the blanket was my gift?’’ You ask, frowning. When you had first arrived here, Lue had presented you with a silk blanket that he had made to keep you warm, and it was incredibly beautiful.

‘‘That was only part of my gift, there’s another part… I’ve been working on it since you arrived,’’ he explains. ‘‘Close your eyes and no peeking.’’

‘‘Alright,’’ you chuckle, closing your eyes. Listening you hear him move to the wardrobe and open the doors. Your incredibly curious but keep your eyes tightly closed as he asked.

‘‘Alright, open your eyes,’’ he says, exhaling loudly.

Upon opening your eyes, your mouth drops open in shock. Standing in front of you, Lue is holding up the most beautiful wedding dress you have ever seen. ‘‘Lue…’’ you gasp, stunned.

‘‘D-do you like it?’’ he asks, nervously stuttering.

‘‘Like it? I Love it. It’s beautiful.’’

‘‘Then why are you crying?’’ he asks softly.

Raising your hand to face, you feel your cheeks are wet, you hadn't even realised you were crying. ‘‘It’s just so beautiful, it’s happy tears I promise… I can’t believe you made this,’’ you say, reaching out and feeling the dress gently, reluctant to even touch it.

‘‘It’s not as beautiful as you, but I’m happy you like it,’’ he smiles, before turning to hang the dress back up. When he turns back around, you hug him tightly, chuckling when he squeaks in surprise.

‘‘I really love it.’’

The wedding goes off without a hitch, with Anatjari officiating, though you both blush fiercely when you seal the vows with a small kiss. Lue has surprised you by arranging for your parents to be there to see the ceremony. As you share a dance with your father, he asks if you are happy and looking over at Lue who is laughing with his brother, you happily tell him that you really are.

You are nervous when you and Lue return home but your reassured by the fact that Lue seems to be even more nervous than you. Still in your wedding dress, he directs you sit on the bed while he backs away a few steps. Frowning, you wonder what he is doing when he suddenly starts dancing. Raising both his second to the back legs, which have tufts of black hair with white tips, he waves them in air. When the colourful flaps on his back rise up, flashing his colours at you, you bite your lip withholding a laugh. You have no idea what is going on but you don’t think laughing at him would be appropriate somehow.

Finishing his dance, panting slightly, he looks at you expectantly.

‘‘What… was that?’’ you ask, breathing slowing through your nose, still trying not to laugh.

‘‘It’s how we initiate mating… we dance to impress females,’’ he explains, crossing both his arms across his chest.

Snorting with laughter despite your best efforts, you gasp for breath. When a hurt look passes over his face, you get up taking two of his hands in yours. ‘‘I’m so sorry Lue, I didn't mean to laugh… I really did enjoy it but I’m not a drider,’’ you say gently.

‘‘Oh. H-how do humans initiate mating then?’’

‘‘Kiss me again…’’ you ask him, swallowing nervously.

Stroking your hair back from your face, he brushes your lips gently with his own before pulling back. ‘‘Like that?’’ He asks.

‘‘Uh huh, keep doing that.’’

With his lower hands clasping your own, he kisses you again, tangling one of his upper hands in your hair, while the other grasps at your back. ‘‘I should tell you that I have no idea what I’m doing,’’ he gasps, pulling back slightly.  

‘‘Me too,’’ you giggle. ‘‘We can work it out together though, can’t we?’’

‘‘Yes... Together,’’ he agrees, stroking your face, smiling.

*********************************************

Thanks for reading! As always, if you enjoyed it, please reblog it. I also love reading your comments!

My Masterlist

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

The lonliness of Eddie Brock

I’ve said in the past that Venom: Lethal Protector provided a not so great origin story for Eddie Brock regarding his father. I’ve also dived deep into Brock’s presentation in ASM #300 to talk about how it’s a lot better than people think.

But today something clicked and I’m going to try and present a take upon the character that uses his original origin in Lethal Protector and in ASM #300.

Before I start though, I’ll never concede that the origin given to Brock in lethal Protector wasn’t designed to make him sympathetic and jive with readers as an anti-hero. If you read that at face value and as intended, it doesn’t really line up with who Brock was in ASM #300, wherein he was clearly evil.

With that said let’s provide some context. 

So in ASM #300, Brock details his origin. He was a reporter for the Daily Globe and (according to him anyway) a respected one at that. One day he was contacted by Emil Gregg, man of faith (who like Brock seemed to be Catholic) who claimed to be the then recent religiously motivated serial killer known as the Sin-Eater.

In reality, Gregg was a mentally ill person who had the misfortune of living next door to the real Sin-Eater, Stan Carter. Carter recorded a voice journal and so when Gregg heard Carter through his bedroom wall he believed the ‘voices’ to be inside his head, becoming convinced that HE was in fact the real Sin-Eater.

Gregg confessed his believed guilt to Brock who wrote up a sympathetic article (or maybe more) which became incredibly attention grabbing. Initially refusing to give his source Brock eventually became pressured into doing so, writing a sensational article unveiling ‘the truth’. Mere hours later though the real Sin-Eater was apprehended by Spider-Man leading Brock to be fired and reduced to eking out a meagre lonely living by writing ‘venomous’ articles about scandals, alien abductions, etc, for rag publications.

Brock blamed Spider-Man for his misfortune and whilst obsessively exercising to relieve his stress, he envisioned murdering the wall-crawler. Things got so bad for Brock he seriously considered suicide, but his Catholic upbringing meant he couldn’t go through with it. Instead he prayed for salvation in a church, coincidentally the very same church that a while before Spider-Man had rid himself of the alien symbiote that had been his black costume. The symbiote sensed Brock’s feelings, and bonded with him. To Brock this was a form of salvation and the two became Venom, dedicated to avenging themselves on Spider-Man.

Much later, after several encounters with Venom, Peter Parker encountered Brock’s ex-wife Ann Weying who elaborated further on Brock’s life. As she explains it Brock worked so hard to be a star reporter because his father, Carl Brock, seemed to have little use for him. When Brock’s career blew up it was the final nail in his already bad relationship with his father. Ann claims that this in turn drove Brock to madness. They divorced after that.

We get similar, yet deeper information in Venom Lethal Protector #3, when Carl Brock’s elderly housekeeper relays the story of Brock’s life. As she tells the story, Carl Brock was an already emotionally repressed man, but his wife (Jamie) was his world. When Jamie died giving birth to Eddie whatever ability to love existed within Carl died. Thus young Eddie Brock grew up with no affection and little attention from his father.

This drove Eddie to excel in education and sports but each achievement failed to garner the affection and attention he craved from his father. His quest for his father’s love led to him becoming a crusading reporter. But even  when his sensational Sin Eater articles were being published, his father gave him little attention. Then when Gregg was exposed as fake, that ended Eddie’s relationship with his father altogether.

ASM #375 and Lethal Protector definitely frame the story with the intent of garnering sympathy for Brock, of trying to make you LIKE him. This makes sense as both were laying the foundation for Venom’s solo-stories where he was to be an anti-hero.

In this sense they seriously contradict the decidedly unsympathetic backstory given to Brock in ASM #300, where e is framed as a clear cut villain.

I’ve come around to the idea though that whilst there is 100% a cognitive dissonance between the framing of the two stories, they don’t actually contradict one another in the details.

That is to say nothing established in ASM #300 makes the events of ASM #375 and LP #3 impossible.

More importantly those events can I think be viewed as better explaining just Brock’s actions as relayed by ASM #300, and of Venom in general.

The stories already make it clear the defining motivation for Brock before he became Venom was all about his father. He was fruitlessly chasing his father’s affections and had grown up totally devoid of them.

On the one hand, when you are the child of a single parent and that single parent, whilst providing for you, is nevertheless neglecting you, it’s likely to screw up anyone.

But for Brock he practically hinged his whole career path on something that would impress his father. This is an idea expanded upon in Venom: Dark Origin #1 when Eddie’s father suggests he be a reporter expresses respect towards seeking the truth.*

The stories do not confirm this but, does it not make an awful lot sense that Brock’s desire for affection is what led to his actions with Emil Gregg?

Brock was highly unethical in protecting Gregg if he believed him to truly be the Sin Eater and his lack of fact checking was just plain sloppy.

But in the context of his relationship with his father it makes a lot of sense.

Gregg’s confessions were obviously going to be attention grabbing (especially if he wrote sympathetically of him) and his role in apprehending him would (in his mind) have earned his father’s affections. Additionally, it’s not uncommon for people in Brock’s situation to desire attention generally as well as from specific individuals so the Sin Eater story was great fuel for Brock’s self-esteem regardless.

It’s not hard to believe he was in fact so emotionally desperate for attention and affection he didn’t care about ignoring ethics or common sense practices.

If he was that desperate, his descent into madness also makes a lot of sense.

He wanted affectionate attention, and he wanted it specifically from his father.

But his actions resulted in him being isolated from the career he liked, reduced to work that garnered little-no attention/affection** and forever ended any hope of getting what he wanted from his father.

Then on top of that he lost his wife. Divorce is often a horrible experience in general, but when you are already at that low point it’d hit all the harder. And harder still if you are someone who’s grown up neglected and lonely, craving affection.

It’s easy to argue Brock’s fixation upon Spider-Man was simply a mental reflex against the hard fact that he’d so thoroughly ruined his own life. That his actions forever destroyed any hope he had of getting the one thing he wanted, and then also wrecked the other good things he did have.

But why Spider-Man particularly?

I think this again comes back to the issue of being attention grabbing.

Brock WANTED to be noticed, and more than this loved.

Spider-Man might have had a questionable public reputation but he was undeniably attention grabbing, he was frequently in the news (the field Brock used to be a part of and loved) and unless Brock cut himself off from all news sources, it’d had been impossible for him to avoid seeing Spider-Man.

Not only would this have reminded him of his own downfall (much as seeing Daredevil would have, as he was also involved in bringing in Carter) but there might’ve been resentment over the fact that Spider-Man was getting so much attention now he Brock was getting next to none.

Compounding things is the fact that Spider-Man wasn’t universally hated, he was talked about as being a hero. I think that’s why in the above pages from ASM #300 there is that scene where Spider-Man’s on the TV with the word ‘hero’ under it and a clearly unhappy Brock in the room. 

Spidey was getting attention and some affection from thousands or millions of people whilst Brock was getting none.

This resentment might’ve then grown into a hatred, a hatred Brock rationalized as the result of Spidey being responsible for ruining him, an appealing lie to tell himself and it absolves him of all blame.*** Also Brock’s religious background might also have fuelled his delusions. He was accustomed to taking things ‘on faith’ and ignoring contradictions to arrive at a truth he was comfortable with. Thus knowing the facts (that he ruined himself) became easy for his fragile mind to reframe as ‘I made a mistake but Spider-Man is at fault’.

Finally, growing up without a mother and little affection/attention from his father would naturally mean Brock had a certain sense of loneliness ingrained into him. This would’ve been seriously exacerbated when Ann left.

This can then explain the kinship he felt with the symbiote and the deep emotional bond they forged.

The symbiote is a life form who literally relies upon being with others. Loneliness will eventually kill it. And like Brock it craved affection, which rendered it a pariah amongst it’s own kind. Thus like Brock in the field of journalism, the symbiote was cast out for ‘unethical practices’ if you will. And like Brock it had recently been rejected by someone it loved and wanted to be with. For Brock that was Ann and Carl, for the symbiote it was Spider-Man/Peter Parker.

In one another they found kindred spirits. Two lonely wayward individuals, desperate for affection, but rejected by specific individuals they craved it from and by ‘their people’ more generally. Their health falling apart as a result of these circumstances they found a form of toxic salvation in one another.

I’ll be honest, I still don’t like Venom’s 1990s origin or Donny Cates’ new one for him. I stand firm that Venom should be a villain and his origin geared towards that end.

But I will say that I’ve now grown an appreciation of Lethal Protector’s take. I think it does develop the character and make him deeper, just not necessarily in a great direction.

*Dark Origin is a story that overwrites and contradicts older Venom stories but also plays with many concepts from them. As such, it’s at least food for thought going forward.

**Although ironically they were designed with that intent as they were scandal rags. Maybe ‘attention’ was a baked in theme for Brock’s character?

***Let’s also consider that as a journalist spinning a certain story would come naturally to Brock.

[funeralfeastanon]

people think tragedy as a literary concept is a serious story that ends badly, to contrast with a comedy, which is light-hearted, the stakes are much lower, and nobody dies. That's how I've had the concept explained to me. I've NEVER heard that "it needs to be the main character's own fault that their life sucks to be Tragedy genre", which just sounds frustrating, rather than satisfyingly cathartic, to watch. While I would consider that a tragedy, it sounds like a bad writing decision to me.

That explanation isn’t exactly wrong, but it’s a very surface-level, laymans’ way of defining a tragedy and any literature class that leaves it at that is, frankly, inadequate.

It’s certainly not absolutely necesarry for a character’s problems to be their own fault in order for their story to be a tragedy - there’s something to be said about the sense of grief and helplessness one gets from witnessing or experiencing misery that is completely outside of one’s control - but classic Greek* and Shakespearean tragedy hinges on the hero’s tragic flaw and resulting tagic mistakes.

And this is still a core part of the genre, which is why I expressed bafflement at people not considering it tragic in the post you’re referring to.

It’s a bit hard to explain how this works or what is the appeal of it to someone who doesn’t already see it, but I will try my best: characters who are tragic in this sense are not merely victims of circumstance, but active agents in the story, so their fall is brought upon by actions they took as a result of a fatal flaw. They had their fate in their hands, yes, but they mishandled it. 

The flaw depends on the character (often it’s one of the Seven Deadly Sins, but it’s not unheard of for the “flaw” to be a virtue that just happens to backfire/be a flaw in a specific context), but a common thread is that it’s an intrisic part of the character, one that they are unable or unwilling to change, not before it’s too late, making their fall inevitable.

Yet the audience isn’t meant to hate these tragic characters or look down on them because they’re meant to see themselves in them. All human beings are both capable of making decisions and are extremely fallible. Someone could be the unluckiest person in the world and some things are still going to be their own fault. 

Being the cause of misfortune is not a pleasant thought to anyone and while some deal with the concept through stories of characters who learn and grow from their mistakes and eventually fix things, others want to see the concept taken to its logical conclusion as a tragedy, to “cleanse” themselves of negative feelings by exploring the worst case scenario, by watching a character struggle with a flaw and fail in their place. That is catharsis.

(Obviously we’re not all one mistake away from causing the deaths of everyone we know and love, but the fun thing about relateability is that one can understand the core of a character even if their actions are exaggerated.)

And this is merely one reason why this type of tragedy might work for a lot of people! The tragedy can be seen as avoidable if one assumes the characters could have changed if given the right push, so some might lament the “what could have been”s. 

For me, personally, it’s that these types of tragic characters are fun to analyse - which flaws do they have, how do those flaws factor into their actions, how could they be saved from themselves, are there any deeper reasons behind their flaws** etc. If a character has bad things happen to them, well, that’s sad I suppose, but it by itself doesn’t tell me anything about who they are as people.

Naturally, you are by all means free to dislike this type of tragedy, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I hope I’ve made a convincing argument for why it’s a staple and by no means a “bad writing decision.” if this post was too rambly, feel free to ask for clarification.

____

*Greek tragedy is a bit tricky in that a point is made about fate and gods toying with mankind, but also about self-fullfilling prophecy, so how much of the misfortune is actually the protagonists’ fault is debateable. I don’t think I’m educated enough to debate it.

**On that note, people don’t exist in a vacuum and are often shaped by forces outside of their control (upbringing, for one), so I’d argue many tragedies are actually a mix of “bad things happen to character” and “character causes bad things to happen,” often one leading to the other.

[whatisonthemoonarchive]

While some continue to complain about the profound effects of indoctrination into the totalistic worldview of the Moon ideology,  it is puzzling that they seem  unconcerned about the  mind control and ideological indoctrination inflicted from all directions outside the Moon movement on society at large. After all, it is difficult to not notice that a massive world-wide combination of educational institutions, media, the entertainment industry, government agencies, computer companies,  the United Nations and its accredited non-governmental organizations (NGOs) are all involved in the indoctrination of the masses into a totalitarian, one world government ideology. Are the effects of indoctrination in the Moon ideology dangerous in comparison to the effects of indoctrination into the totalitarian one world government ideology?    When considering this, take into account that the totalitarian, one world government ideology promotes and facilitates various lifestyles and practices considered to be sinful according traditional Christian standards, whereas the Moon ideology, whether it be true or not, upholds traditional Christian morality and takes a hard line against sin.

The one world government indoctrination program begins in elementary school with a planned, step-by-step process of replacing the traditional family-taught beliefs, morality, Biblical values and world view with a new way of thinking designed to support the totalitarian world government agenda [see 'Brainwashing in America']   The techniques of brainwashing developed in totalitarian countries are routinely used in psychological conditioning programs imposed on American school children to bring about these results. These include emotional shock and desensitization*, psychological isolation from sources of support, stripping away defenses, manipulative cross-examination of the individual's underlying moral values, and inducing acceptance of alternative values by psychological rather than rational means.

The goal of education is no longer to teach the kind of literacy, wisdom and knowledge we once considered essentials of responsible citizenship.  It is to train world citizens--a compliant international workforce, willing to flow with change and uncertainty. These citizens must be ready to believe and do whatever will serve a  government determined 'common good' or 'greater whole'.  Educators may promise to teach students to think for themselves, but if these state educators continue what they have started, then tomorrow's students will have neither the facts nor the freedom needed for independent thinking.  Like Nazi youth, they will be taught to react, not to think, when told to do the unthinkable.

Are the effects of indoctrination into the Moon ideology really so dangerous in comparison to the effects of the ongoing state run indoctrination into the totalitarian one world government ideology?  

__________________________

*A common method used in training students to reject truth is emotional shock therapy which is described in the following example:  Ashley, a California tenth-grader, heard her teacher announce the following writing assignment: 'You're going to consult an oracle. It will tell you that you're going to kill your best friend. This is destined to happen, and there is absolutely no way out. You will commit this murder. What will you do before this event occurs? Describe how you felt leading up to it. How did you actually kill your best friend?'  Ashley became very upset. Why would her English teacher tell her to imagine something so horrible. 'I don't want to do this.', she told herself and long after she had told this to her parents, the awful feelings continued.

This method of emotional shock therapy has become standard fare in public schools from coast to coast. It produces cognitive dissonance -- mental and moral confusion -- especially in students trained to follow God's guidelines. While classroom topics may range from homosexual or occult practices to euthanasia and suicide, they all challenge and stretch a student's moral boundaries. But why?

'[Our objective] will require a change in the prevailing culture--the attitudes, values, norms and accepted ways of doing things,' says Marc Tucker, the master-mind behind the school-to-work and 'workforce development' program implemented in every state. Working with Hillary Clinton and other globalist leaders, he called for a paradigm shift--a total transformation in the way people think, believe, and perceive reality. This new paradigm rules out traditional values and biblical truth, which are now considered hateful and intolerant. (See "Clinton's War on Hate Bans Christian Values") All religions must be pressed into the mold of the new global spirituality.  Since globalist leaders tout this world religion as a means of building public awareness of our supposed planetary oneness, Biblical Christianity doesn't fit. It is simply too 'exclusive' and 'judgmental.'

Immersing students in imaginary situations that clash with home-taught values confuses and distorts a student's conscience. Each shocking story and group dialogue tends to weaken resistance to change. Biblical absolutes simply don't fit the hypothetical stories that prompt children to question and replace home-taught values. Before long, God's standard for right and wrong is turned upside-down, and unthinkable behavior begins to seem more normal than the Christian tradition that formed the basis of western civilization.

But it takes more than a twisted conscience to produce compliant world citizens. New values must replace God's timeless truths, as described in the following example:

 Matt Piecora, a fifth grader from the Seattle area, was told to complete the sentence, 'If I could wish for three things, I would wish for…'  Matt wrote 'infinitely more wishes, to meet God, and for all my friends to be Christians.'  Matt's wish didn't pass. The teacher told him that his last wish could hurt people who didn't share his beliefs. Matt didn't want to hurt anyone, so he agreed to add 'if they want to be.'  Another sentence to be completed began, 'If I could meet anyone, I would like to meet…'.

Matt wrote: 'God because he is the one who made us!' The teacher told him to add 'in my opinion.' When Matt's parents saw his work, they noticed the phrases that had been added to Matt's sentences and asked,  'Why did you add this?'. 'The teacher didn't want me to hurt other people's feelings,' he answered. 'But these are just your wishes…'  'I thought so, Mom.'  Matt looked confused. Later, the teacher explained to Matt's parents that she wanted diversity' in her class and was looking out for her other students. But the excuse didn't make sense. If the papers were supposed to 'express the students' diverse views,' why couldn't Matt share his views? Didn't his wishes fit? Or was Christianity the real problem?  'I try to instill God's truths in my son,' said Matt's father, 'but it seems like the school wants to remove them.'

 He is right. The old Judeo-Christian beliefs don't fit the new beliefs and values designed for global unity. The planned oneness demands 'new thinking, new strategies, new behavior, and new beliefs'  that turn God's Word and values upside-down and no strategy works better than the old dialectic (consensus) process explained by Georg Hegel, embraced by Marx and Lenin, and incorporated into American education during the nineteen eighties.  Directed group discussion based on the dialectic (consensus) process is key to the transformation. Professor Benjamin Bloom, called 'Father of Outcome-based Education', summarized it as follows:

'The purpose of education and the schools is to change the thoughts, feelings and actions of students.  ....a large part of what we call good teaching is the teacher's ability to attain effective objectives through challenging the students' fixed beliefs and getting them to discuss issues.'  Matt's last comment was especially threatening to the teacher. His statement, 'God made us' is an absolute truth. It can't be modified to please the group. Therefore it doesn't fit the consensus process -- the main psycho-social strategy of the new national-international education system designed to mold world citizens.  It demands that all children participate in group discussions and agree to: · be open to new ideas · share personal feelings · set aside home-taught values that might offend the group · compromise in order to seek common ground and please the group. · respect all opinions, no matter how contrary to God's guidelines · never argue or violate someone's comfort zone

First tested in Soviet schools, this mind-changing process required students in the USSR, China and other Communist nations to 'confess' their thoughts and feelings in their respective groups. Day after day, trained facilitator-teachers would guide these groups toward a pre-planned consensus. Opposite opinions or ideas -- 'thesis' and 'antithesis' -- were blended into ever-evolving higher 'truths'. Each new truth or 'synthesis' would ideally reflect a blend of each participant's feelings and opinions. In reality, the students were manipulated into compromising their values and accepting the politically correct Soviet understanding of the issue discussed. Worse yet, the children learned to trade individual thinking for a collective mindset. Since the concluding consensus would probably change with the next dialogue, the process immunized them against faith in any unchanging truth or fact. This revolutionary training program was officially brought into our education system in 1985, when President Reagan and Soviet President Gorbachev signed the U.S. - U.S.S.R. Education Exchange Agreement. It put American technology into the hands of Communist strategists and, in return, gave us all the psycho-social strategies used in Communist nations to indoctrinate Soviet children with Communist ideology and to monitor compliance for the rest of their lives. Today, American children from coast to coast learn reading, health, and science through group work and dialogue. Most subjects are 'integrated' or blended together and discussed in a multicultural context. Thus, fourth graders in Iowa 'learn' ecology, economy, and science by 'real-life' immersion into Native American cultures. They role-play tribal life and idealize the religion modeled by imaginary shamans. Seeking common ground with the guidance of a trained facilitator-teacher, they share their beliefs, feelings, and 'experiences' with each other. They might agree that 'there are many gods' or 'many names for the same god' and compare the exaggerated spiritual thrills of shamanism with their own church experiences. Which religion would sound most exciting to the group? The consensus would merely be a temporary answer in a world of 'continual change' -- one of many steps in the ongoing evolution toward better understanding of truth -- as defined by leaders who envision a uniform global workforce and management system operating through compliant groups everywhere.     http://www.inplainsite.org/html/mind_control_in_schools.html

[the-english-student-studyblr]

Utopia and Dystopia - the Basics

It's been a while since I did one of these but that's because week 3 was technically a refresher on Marx, Engels and Hegel and I don't think anyone really wants to hear that and so onto week 4

Week 4 - Edward Bellamy

It is 1888. We are just post-civil war and Reconstruction, and in the midst of Jim Crow. This is the era of economic depressions with - you guessed it - labour strikes! And Edward Bellamy (a straight, white, relatively well-to-do man) just published a book called 'Looking Backward', which sounds kinda like the NYT bestseller of a white republican moaning about how everything is too PC nowadays, but I digress.

This book was insanely popular. It was the third most sold novel of its time, after Uncle Tom's Cabin and Ben Hur. Which kind of makes sense given the general atmosphere of the time, even if I don't like it much. So, with all this information, lets talk about the book.

The protagonist is a rich white guy named Julian West. Julian is meant to get married to a girl named Edith (this is vaguely important) once their house is finished but all those gosh-darn labour strikes means it's taking quite a while. Julian is also an insomniac. He gets a doctor to hypnotise him so he falls asleep, and the only person able to wake him up is his servant. This is a bit of a problem as it turns out because that night the house burns down and everyone except Julian dies (Julian is conveniently asleep in a hidden chamber and therefore does not die with them). When he eventually wakes up, over a century has passed and it is now the year 2000.

Bellamy is insanely optimistic about our chances to be honest because like for an early utopia, he got it pretty good. The world Julian wakes up in is vastly different to his own. There is no capitalism and everything is wonderful. There's a lot of 'shining city on a hill' imagery that comes through which is kinda ehhhh, but otherwise it seems pretty alright. The general gist of it is that people decided 'lets not hate each other and work together because brotherhood of man and all that' and now everything's in common. There are no rich and poor, everyone retires at 45, and all goods are distributed equally and super fucking fast. Everyone gets a college education for free and can choose their career for themselves.

Bellamy predicted a lot of stuff with weird accuracy. There are aspects of his society that mirror the USSR (as in, communal kitchens, not the Gulags). Everyone has a phone that can play music, and a 'credit' card (which is actually more like a debit card but close enough) to obtain goods with. He predicted that capitalism would destroy society because it's wasteful, and that the existence of credit in place of actual money would cripple the economy. He makes it clear that most crimes are predominantly due to wealth inequality and that therefore any form of socialism would fix that. It's weirdly prescient.

Anyway, Julian wakes up in 2000 in the house of a guy named Dr Leete who shows him around the new world and explains everything to him. Most of the book (like all the others so far) is a dialogue between the two trying to argue that this society is amazing and perfect which like it kind of is? For a straight white guy anyway. Women are (surprise surprise) seen as inferior citizens and are not allowed to be president, have different jobs etc etc. Race is also not mentioned anywhere at any point, which is kind of weird considering just how big of an issue that was at the time. But for Julian, this society is fantastic, the literal embodiment of everything that America could be if people just did the right thing and helped each other out (but specifically the rich people, hint hint Jeff Bezos).

Dr Leete also has a daughter. Her name is Edith. She is the great-granddaughter of the Edith Julian was originally engaged to back the the 1800s. They get engaged. Yeah, I know, it's a bit weird.

At the end of the book, he has a dream that he gets sent back to the 19th century and gets kicked out of high society for knowing how awful capitalism is. Then he wakes up and he's glad that was only a dream. Which is a joking twist on the 'and then he woke up and it was all a dream' ending that everyone hates.

To be honest, I'm not a huge fan on the writing in this book? I didn't enjoy reading it and all that can really be said in its favour is that it's short. I have no idea why it was so popular, and it's mostly fallen out of favour now which is no real surprise. That being said, it's a kind of springboard into modern utopia/dystopia, and marks the precipice of where America went uber-capitalist I think, which is pretty important. If things had gone a bit differently, perhaps we could have been living in a society much closer to what Bellamy envisioned.

[5hfanfiction]

Seasons - Chapter 01

“Do you believe in mythology? The kind with gods, heroes and monsters. If you don’t, you’ll start to believe it; if you do, you’ll know that everything is true. Camila Cabello found this out the unusual way possible, dipping into a completely new world, full of dangers, monsters and the worst; she have to deal with Lauren Jauregui, an annoying, arrogant and beautiful Zeus’ daughter. What she didn’t know was that along with Lauren and her new friends from Camp Half-Blood, she would become the center of a plot full of adventures, mysteries and romance.”

Summer: Once upon a time a day that wasn’t normal

Hi, I’m Lina and I hope you’ll like my story. It’s based on Percy Jackson’s books.

Camila’s POV

Early in that morning, I considered myself a normal teenager. Sure, certain things insist on deny this statement, but to the point of my life, I had an idea that I was just a normal girl with a peculiar bad luck to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was a 16-year-old girl, who craved everything a teenager could want that age. No, I didn’t think about boyfriends, actually, it was very difficult to think about having a relationship with other people when I was constantly moving. So maybe one of the things I wanted most was that I have friends, that I could spend at least two birthdays with the same people. But that wasn’t possible, and part of it was my fault.

Not that I was a rebellious girl. On the contrary, I always wanted to do the right things so I wouldn’t give my mom any trouble. She was an exhausted and hardworking lady who did a bit of everything, a writer who spent much of her money to cover so many moves. Sinuhe wasn’t my real mother, she married my father when I was one year old. When Papa was still alive, things were much easier, but since he had been found dead in a street, everything had been drastically difficult. I was only seven at the time and all I understood was that I no longer had my hero. In her place was a warrior, with her ups and downs, but at the end of the night she still came to my room to wish me good night and place a kiss on my forehead.

So what went wrong? This was a question that kept repeating in my mind like a bad and scratchy disk.As much as I tried, I couldn’t fight certain things. I had something that the experts called dyslexia and hyperactivity, I used to say it was a pain in the ass. I couldn’t concentrate on studies, as it was almost impossible to sit still for more than half an hour. What made me uneasy in the classroom, doing everything but getting pay attention to what the teacher said. Oh, but these disorders are common and can be controlled, right? In parts, if that was just my problem. Certain things happened. Things that I often couldn’t explain. Many times I felt persecuted or being watched. A psychologist even suggested that I had paranoid schizophrenia, light type. Add to my long list of problems, small facts like being clumsy, curious and stubborn. It definitely put me in trouble too.

This year was being a great year. I had received only three detentions this month, I wasn’t expelled from school yet and summer vacations were about to begin. It was a week that I did not feel that bad feeling I was being chased. That was supposed to be the most normal day of my life. Was.

I met Dinah in the school entrance, as always. Dinah Jane was a tall, expansive girl with an incredible sense of humor. She was as dumb as me, which made her the closest I’ve ever had to a best friend. She was also agitated, and although she didn’t have to say it aloud, she also had difficulty keeping her attention.

“I think a slug can arrive early at school than you,” Dinah teased as soon as her eyes fell on me.

“Don’t start, DJ”, I asked with my usual bad morning mood.

“Woke up the Ms. Delicacy Ever” Polynesian girl laughed and began to follow me through the halls. “Have you told Aunt Sinu that we are going out at night?”

“Yes, I did. She was reluctant, but she let me go” I shrugged my shoulders despondently. “I can’t believe that I’m going to…”

“It’s a teenage party, guess what, you’re one! Even if you look like an old spinster who complaining about life”

“I know you love me, that’s enough for me and I-”

My thoughts were completely cut off. Suddenly my body bumps into something and my lack of body mass was totally in favor of gravity, making me to fall to the ground. I looked up still in shock, but as soon as my brown eyes locked in the green eyes of that girl, my anger rose to my head. Of course, it had to be that stupid Jauregui.

“Don’t you look where you’re going?” I grumbled and getting help from Dinah to get up. “Oh, I forgot you just have no education.”

“If you were as fast as your tongue is to speaking stupidity, you’d avoid many disasters.” she shot back promptly .

Well, up to that point, it was normal. Lauren Jauregui a troublemaker class A. No one really knew much about her, just that it wasn’t good to get in her way. Okay, I’d follow this rule very happy, if she wasn’t Dinah’s friend of Dinah. To this day, I wonder how this was possible because Dinah Jane despite her outgoing and imperative way, she was a great friend. It wasn’t possible to associate someone who is able to get close to Jauregui for more than five minutes.

“Don’t even think about,” Jauregui threatened as soon as I opened my mouth, her eyes changed from blue and green staring at me so intense that I almost stepped back. “DJ, I need to talk to you at lunch”

“I hope it’s important”, Dinah grumbled. “I always end up without lunch right when it happens”

“It is always important!” the Hispanic girl snapped.

Then Lauren leaves tripping over everything before her. No one dared stand in her way, so it was likely that students prefer jumping off her course than be bogged down. I glared at Dinah, raised eyebrows and sharp look.

“No point on do it Mila, I won’t say anything” Dinah shrugged and adjusted her backpack. “Now let’s go, the bell will ring and my first class is physics. Blah, I hate physics”

I grunted and bit my tongue so I wouldn’t argue with my friend. It was always like this. Lauren appeared with her “good” education and practically summoned Dinah. They missed the whole lunchtime, and then Dinah said nothing about what happened. Sometimes she would come back tired, as if she’d been running all the time, or even lightly injured. I believe that they are part of something dangerous, like a school gang and had to face other gangs, skipping from school for this. But I soon dismissed that possibility, it was just my fertile mind seeking reasons to have my only friend stolen from me. And even more for that girl.

While Dinah went to her physics class, I’d have my math torture dose. I hated math, and English, and chemistry, and physics… and every class. I had learning disabilities and instead of God making up for it by giving me a good advantage in sports, I had to be clumsy enough to almost suffer a serious accident every time I stepped on a sports court.

During class, I pretended to pay attention while trying to fool me, telling myself that I wasn’t bothered by Lauren have called Dinah for another secret meeting. I had to pretend I was ignoring that painful twinge of curiosity that always had when it happened. After all, Dinah was probably the only person on Earth who may know something about Lauren Jauregui. This girl was a real mystery, one that I didn’t care so much about finding out.

Prepotent, she didn’t follow orders or rules, violent enough to punch anyone in front of her. If I thought I had the records of going into detention, Lauren overcame me on showing up in that classroom for bad behavior or aggression.

Lunchtime came after a long and boring class in Political Geography. I was extremely discouraged to spend those thirty minutes alone when I saw Dinah and Lauren before they disappeared into a hallway. It was as if a little devil was whispering in my ear to follow them. I wondered where the little angel was saying I shouldn’t go, but he didn’t even bother to show up.

It would be just to know that Dinah was fine. Friends care about each other, right?

At least, that’s what I told myself as I almost ran toward that hallway hoping I wouldn’t lose sight of them. They both headed toward the deserted pool. The heater was broken and the principal never insisted on fix since the swim club trained in a school-affiliated club. I followed them at a safe distance, I didn’t want to imagine the Jauregui’s angry face or Dinah’s disappointment when she realized that I was following them. For a moment, I cursed my impulsivity and curiosity. But it was too late, I couldn’t go back, I had to find out what was going on, or I would be eternally tormented by my imagination.

They entered the empty building, and I waited a few minutes, looking for an alternative to enter without being caught. I went to a rusty window, just catching sight of Dinah sitting at the edge of the empty pool. Lauren remained standing, pacing back and forth, apparently nervous while argued something with I knew they were too distracted to notice my presence, so I managed to – incredibly – enter through the main door making no noise and direct me to some empty crates where it should be an old equipment of maintenance of the swimming pool.

“It may not be, Lauren,” Dinah argued tediously. “You said last week that Mrs. Turner might be a dracaenae, and even though she’s ugly like them, she’s just that, a grumpy old woman.”

“There’s something strange, Dinah!” Lauren huffed and ran a hand through her hair. “Last month there was that attack and I almost died because YOU said it was no big deal. And yet I was suspended for destroying the north courtyard” she stopped and pointed her finger. “This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t run away with a tail between your legs”

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get another suspension, I would be expelled!”

What kind of argument was that?! Attack? Dracaenae? I frowned totally lost in what I was hearing. Everyone knew that Lauren had had an attack and broken things in the north courtyard, which luckily was empty for being class time.

“I still think Cabello is involved” Lauren said out of nowhere.

I almost stumbled forward with the scare I took to hear my name. How would I be involved?!

“She may be a sensitive human to the veil of mist.” Dinah let out a long sigh. “I stood beside her as much as I could Lauren, nothing much happened besides her having bad luck and a little persecution mania. You’re forgetting that Mila is 16, she’ll be 17 soon. Something should have already happened, it’s the rule now!”

“You know very well how they don’t follow the rules. Or I wouldn’t even exist, right?”

“Oh, I’m sorry princess sparkle and…”

“Shut up!”

“Are you sensitive today?”

“No, shut up, there’s someone here!”

My heart was pounding so hard I thought they could hear my heartbeat and find me. I was starting to cringe and preparing an escape route, when everything changed. A strong, hairy and tattooed arms wrapped around me as if I was a rag doll. I screamed in panic more by instinct than actually processing what happened. I was easily lifted from the ground.

“Finally found!” a strong and masculine voice rattled as if he’d found his lost toy.

I looked up, meeting the new school janitor. I knew that just because I saw him and thought him was weird. It might just be my panic-stricken impression, but the man now seemed more than six feet tall, his muscles as strong as iron. But his teeth were so sharp eerily that my blood seemed to run away from my veins.

“Let her go now!”

Lauren ordered. Dinah had jumped from in the spot and now looked at me in pure shock and horror.

“No, I finally found the package Master asked for!” the janitor said and snorted. “My teacher said not to attract attention. But eating demigods isn’t to attract attention, right?” then he threw me against the boxes as if I really were a rag doll. “First the annoying one! Then it will be your turn, girl!”

My whole back ached from the impact, I had fallen awkwardly and my ankle was throbbing in pain. But I barely processed it. The janitor seemed to grow more, getting rougher, wilder. The full-sleeve shirt that made up his uniform ripped with his toned muscles, showing his arms full of tattoos I could barely identify. His hair was even curlier, more hideous, the air that surrounded him was savagery. His eyes weren’t smart, but showed a frightening force..

But Lauren wasn’t intimidated. Instead, her gaze became even more threatening, even sparkling. She took a lighter out of her pocket and pointed it at the janitor as if it were something dangerous, like a pistol or revolver.

“Last chance” Lauren threatened, chin up, higher posture. God, she was crazy!

“Mila, over here” Suddenly Dinah was at my side, speaking quietly. “Lauren will distract the Laistrygonian and we will escape”

“Di-Dinah, what…? Lauren, she… Holy shit!”

I couldn’t formulate a sentence. My mind was like a blind knot unable to untie. Everything seemed to get worse when Lauren, somehow, squeezed the lighter and it unfolded rapidly, growing and turning into a sword. It wasn’t one of those toys, it was an item you saw in epic movies, with warriors wielding and brandishing as if they were knives. My eyes widened refusing to believe the things happening right in front of me. Dinah was trying to pull me, but my body was simply petrified. I stared at her as if she wasn’t real. How could she be?

“Mom always said to play with food!” the janitor said.

Lauren groaned typically. Held firmer the handle of the sword and I could swear that a wisp of electricity went through the blade. The janitor stepped forward, trying to punch her directly. Jauregui just swerved, rolling her body to the side and moving away a little bit. She had everything in control.

“Mila!” Dinah slapped me in the face, finally waking me up. “We need to go!”

The sense of escape was almost suffocating. I knew I was in danger of life, the feeling of persecution almost sank me down. This time when Dinah pulled me, I followed her promptly, allowing myself to be carried away by my friend.I looked back one last time, worried about Lauren. But all I could see was a warrior girl dodging a sequence of blows and hitting the sword in the arm what I believed was our janitor. Her gaze was serious, intent on the task of attacking and dodging. I was sure that this wasn’t her first battle, just as I was even more sure of another factor: my morning started normal, had its end.

Little did I know that was just the beginning.

[halothenthehorns]

THE POTIONS MASTER

Lily began with high spirits, wanting eagerly to know which classes her son would excel in.

The next day, whispers seemed to follow Harry everywhere.

Her spirits went down at once, of course the student body would gock at him, like some perverse form of a celebrity. None of the others looked the least bit happy about this either, but Lily hoped dearly that this wouldn't last long, so she pressed on.

It started the moment Harry left his dormitory and kept up all through the hallways, which was very distracting as Harry's classes weren't very easy to find.

James frowned, feeling his spirits flag a bit as he realized he'd never be able to talk to Harry about the map they'd let Filch 'catch' them with on the last day of term. Harry wouldn't be able to adopt his birth right.

Sirius and Remus were both thinking the same thing, though Sirius tried to console himself that, with any luck, some other pranksters had worked out how to get a hold of it, and were putting it to use.

There were a hundred and forty-two staircases at Hogwarts,

"Why do you know that?" Remus laughed, "I've never even sat down and counted them."

"I heard Hermione say that in the common room that morning," Harry told him. "I'm sure she learned about it in that book Hogwarts a History."

"I'll agree with you on that one," Sirius said cheerfully.

all having something unique or magically odd about them, as well as the walls, and even the paintings in every corridor of this school.

"Gotta love a castle with a personality," James said with reminisce, it still felt like only yesterday he and his friends had been roaming those halls, learning every secret they could.

It didn't help him to memorize where anything was either, as the portraits constantly wandered around as much as the students, and Harry was sure the suits of armor could walk.

"They can," Remus chuckled, "and they love messing with the students as much as anything else in that castle with a mind."

Harry looked slightly disgruntled at this, but even Lily was smiling and saying, "It's all part of the experience. You need to learn at a young age that magic is complex in all aspects, and nothing is as it seems."

"Way to put a philosophy spin on messing with a kids mind," Sirius laughed.

Peeves was the worst of all, as he clearly went out of his way to torment the whole of the student population.

"He's a lovely chap really," James said through bursts of laughter, not being able to count how many times he'd been pulled over by Peeves in his first year.

Even worse than Peeves, if that was possible, was the caretaker, Argus Filch.

"Now he is worse," Sirius agreed, "at least Peeves has a sense of humor. That old fart wouldn't know a joke if it bit him in the arse."

"You're just bitter of all the times he caught you," Lily said primly.

"Oh, like you don't hold a grudge for that time in first year when you used the wrong spell and made that bottle of ink explode all over his cat," Remus said slyly.

Lily's face went bright red, and she began stammering a bit, but it was nothing compared to James, who went bug eyed as he spluttered, "you told us you did that!"

"Yes well, I took pity on her when I came across Filch yelling like that, so I told him I did it," Remus told them, still smiling.

Sirius and James looked like they couldn't decide if they were hurt, or pleased at this deception for so long.

"Why didn't you ever tell us?" James demanded.

"Yes, that was the entire reason we invited you out that night," Sirius seconded.

"Couldn't rat out such a pretty girl then," Remus said, smiling indulgently at them all.

"Oh, but you can now?" Lily demanded, her face completely red from all of this.

"Well it's for Harry's benefit after all," he admitted, eyes gleaming as he meet his cubs.

Harry was laughing so hard he feared he'd crack a rib soon, while James and Sirius finally decided to cave in and acknowledged that they to, were impressed with this.

Lily was withholding judgement on whether she was going to forgive him, though the chances were high since they were long out of school now and no one could really do anything about it.

"I really do have to wonder why he's even there though," Sirius butted in. "The house elves do a far better job at keeping the castle clean, he only does it when something needs to be taken care of right then in the middle of the day, do we really need someone whose sole purpose is to catch students doing bad things?"

"Considering you lot, and those Weasley twins exist, yes," Lily pointed out.

Harry and Ron managed to get on the wrong side of him on their first morning.

"So straight out of your mother, and Uncle Remus," James laughed.

"Yes well, we weren't much better," Sirius argued at once, "since we did wait until our second day to do it on purpose."

"Got to test your boundaries early," James agreed.

Filch found them trying to force their way through a door that turned out to be the entrance to the out-of-bounds corridor on the third floor.

Lily winced at the mention of this again, while the other three were more privately thinking that if Filch had come across them, it wouldn't have been an accident they were trying to get in.

He wouldn't believe they were lost, was sure they were trying to break into it on purpose,

Lily spoke aloud what they had just been thinking, "yes well, with James as his father, I don't really blame him for assuming that."

"Poor old chap was probably having a flashback," Remus agreed.

and was threatening them when Professor Quirrell came by and managed to rescue them.

Harry couldn't help a puzzled little frown, like something about Quirrell being near that door should mean something to him...

Filch owned a cat who was just as bad, named Mrs. Norris. Break one tiny rule in front of her, and she'd go in search of her master, who appeared seconds later.

"I swear that cat is part knezel," Sirius grumbled, "too damned smart for its own good."

There were many secret passages to help you get all around the castle, and Filch knew every one of them about as well as the Weasley twins. Every student in the castle hated Filch, and would love to give his cat a good kick.

"And you can't blame them one bit," James said with chipper.

Then of course once you found the classes you were looking for, they were hardly as easy as waving your wand around and saying a funny word.

"But the challenge makes it all the more fun," Lily said with pleasure.

On Wednesdays at midnight they had Astronomy with Professor Aurora Sinistra, where they studied the night skies stars and planets movements.

"Never saw the point in that class," Sirius huffed, "I think it should be optional to third years, and that's it."

"Oh no," Lily said at once, "It's very important that you get a rounded education, and learning how-"

"Lily," James said again, "we discussed this, pertinent information."

Lily narrowed her eyes at him and said, "you just wait, I'm going to remind you of that later."

Three times a week they had Herbology, where they learned to take care of all manner of magical plant life, taught by Professor Pomona Sprout, head of Hufflepuff house.

"That class hated me," Sirius said at once.

"No Sirius," James said slowly, as if talking to an idiotic child, "you hated that class. Don't blame the plants."

"The plants sure hated me," Sirius grumbled, bouncing the baby around a bit to make himself feel better. When he began letting out high pitched giggling, it worked at once.

The worst class of the lot was History of Magic, taught by a ghost.

Lily sighed, "I have to agree with you on that one," she said sadly, "I've read the text of course, and I think it's fascinating, but Binns has to be the worst teacher there is."

"I'll give you that" Remus agreed, feeling bored at the mere mention of that class. He would be the first to admit he had used that class as an extra nap period, "give that class a better teacher, and it could be one of the best."

"How do you fire a ghost though?" Sirius asked.

"Pretty sure no one can answer that, which is why no one's done anything about it," James laughed.

Older students tell of how Professor Cuthbert Binns had taken a nap by the fire one day, and woken up dead. He chose to remain as a ghost and had continued teaching. Easily the most interesting thing was the way he passed through his chalk board, then bored them all stupid as he droned on like a vacuum reading strictly from old notes.

Professor Filius Flitwick, head of Ravenclaw House, was the Charms teacher, who was human with goblin ancestors, had to stand on a pile of books to see over his desk. On his first day of class he called out roll, and toppled out of sight in excitement when he saw Harry's name.

All four adults huffed at that, wishing that at least the teachers would show a little decorum.

Professor Minerva McGonagall was again different.

"Why wouldn't she be?" Sirius laughed. "Did you expect all your teachers to be exactly the same?"

Harry quickly explained, "well, in primary school, we had one teacher that taught us everything. I wasn't used to having different teachers at the same time."

"Fascinating," Remus said, "but that must have been hard on them. My dad didn't send me to primary school, for ah, obvious reasons," he explained sheepishly.

"No," Harry said frowning. "What are the obvious reasons?"

Lily clasped Harry's hand tightly and said, "it's a bit hard to explain dear, but for now all you need to know is that Remus' dad tried to keep him away from other people."

"But why though?" Harry said, getting more confused by the minute.

"Prejudice against something they didn't understand," James answered when it seemed Remus didn't want to, "they thought werewolves were a danger to them all the time."

"But they're not," Harry said in a 'duh' like tone, this was obvious to him after all, why would other people not see it.

"Let's, carry on shall we," Remus said, getting more uncomfortable by the minute, "leave this one for later."

Harry still looked confused, but let the matter slide for now.

The others, especially Remus, felt both happy that Harry was still innocent enough to not understand prejudices, and equally unwilling to introduce them to him themselves.

Harry had clearly been right in thinking he shouldn't cross this woman. She was a strict, no nonsense kind of woman in class, instructing them that Transfiguration was one of the most difficult subjects they would learn, and then turned her desk into a pig and back again.

"Show off," Remus chuckled a bit forcefully, trying to brighten the mood back to what it was.

They weren't going to be changing the furniture into animals for quite some time though.

She set them all the task of turning a match into a needle, and Hermione was the only one to achieve this by the end of the first class, to which she received a smile and praise from the teacher.

"Really, are we sure she wasn't in Ravenclaw?" Sirius demanded, quite impressed himself.

"I don't think Harry's that senile, or that she's that lost," James said.

The class Harry had most been looking forward to turned out to be a bit of a joke. The Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Quirinus Quirrell, sadly wasn't any more impressive in the class then he'd been out of it.

"I feared as much," Remus said with a wince.

"A real pity that, since it's one of your most important classes for learning offensive spells," James agreed.

Lily couldn't argue that logic, though she didn't approve what this lot had done with those offensive spells recreationally.

His classroom smelled of garlic, which everyone said was to ward off a vampire.

"Okay, that one's fair enough," Remus chuckled for real this time.

The turban he now wore, he told the class, was a thank you gift for getting rid of some zombies, but this story seemed rather fickle, when asked for details Quirrell tried to distract them with the weather.

"I can see why they're a bit skeptical then," James laughed.

"Can't even lie properly, or spin a good tale," Sirius said sadly.

Not to mention that Quirrell seemed to carry a funny smell with him everywhere, and the Weasley twins insisted that was because he carried garlic with him everywhere.

"I wouldn't put it past him," Remus said.

Harry couldn't help frowning, his automatic reaction to be to correct Remus and say something else was going on there, but he knew he'd pay for it and held his tongue.

Harry did realize though that he wasn't behind the other students in these classes.

"We tried to tell you that," Lily said.

"Oh I know now," Harry said quickly, still frowning a bit and knowing he was missing something to do with Quirrell and that turbine, but happy to change the subject and take his mind off of it.

Several of the students had come from Muggle backgrounds. There was so much to learn that even students like Ron didn't even get a head start. It took five days for Harry and Ron to make it down to the Great Hall without getting lost.

"It took you five days?" James said with honest disappointment, "Sirius and I managed that by the first morning."

"Yes well, to be fair, we kind of snuck out that very night and made sure we could do as much," Sirius said fairly.

Harry asks Ron what classes they have that day, and Ron tells him Double Potions with the Slytherins.

All four felt a spike in their emotions at that.

Professor Severus Snape was head of Slytherin house, and Ron told Harry how he favored his own house over others.

"Well he shouldn't," Lily said at once.

"Wouldn't surprise me if he did," James muttered to himself.

"Wish McGonagall favored us," Sirius said sadly, having been told off by her probably more than any other teacher.

Harry muttered how he wished McGonagall would favor them more.

Sirius blinked for a moment before bursting into laughter at that.

Being the head of her house had not stopped her from giving them a load of homework the previous day.

"And it never will," Remus said brightly.

"I swear sometimes you enjoyed your homework," James groaned.

Then the mail began arriving, by owls. Several hundred of the birds came streaming in to drop letters and packages to their destination person.

"A much better wakeup call then being yelled at," Harry said, smiling to himself, "if a bit more alarming."

Hedwig hadn't brought Harry anything so far.

The four adults wondered if the aching feeling of loss would ever go away at this constant

reminder that none of them had been able to write to him, to demand all sorts of details on how his week had gone. Who would Harry turn to for help if any problems arose at school? His friend was the same year as him, so he wasn't going to be able to help with everything?

She occasionally flew in to nibble on his ear and nip a bit of his breakfast before flying off to the owlery where she would sleep. This morning though, she fluttered in with a note in her beak.

They all perked up instantly at that.

Harry opened it at once, finding a note from Hagrid asking if Harry would like to come around his place that afternoon, and to send a reply back with Hedwig.

"Oh Hagrid," Lily said, almost tearing up with joy, "I'll never be able to thank that man enough."

The others couldn't help but agree with her, thinking that if they couldn't be there for Harry, at least someone still was for the little things like this.

Harry sent back that he'd be delighted to, and Hedwig flew off again.

"Why did Hagrid send him that in a note though?" James asked, "Surely he might have bumped into Hagrid on the grounds?"

Lily shook her head a bit before saying, "James, has it even mentioned that Harry's been traveling the grounds yet? I'm sure he's been staying inside and studying. It's his first week after all, it's still all new."

Harry verbally agreed with his mother.

Harry was happy he had something pleasant like a visit to Hagrid's to look forward to, because his Potions lesson turned out to the worst thing to happened to him yet.

"I knew it," Sirius snarled, looking like he wanted to get to his feet all over again and go curse that little slime ball.

Lily looked crushed, still not really wanting to believe her old school friend would turn on a child, so she said nothing until she read what actually happened.

James was beginning to feel the first visages of guilt at all of his actions he'd done to Snape, now knowing how Lily had felt when she said she felt guilty for the way Petunia treated her son.

Whether intentionally or not, they both felt responsible for the way these people, secondary in their own life, figured directly into their son's life.

Harry had gotten the feeling that Professor Snape hadn't liked him from just a look. At the end of the class he realized he'd been wrong.

"Oh," Lily said, brightening up for a moment, perhaps it was a student that had made this potion class so bad, but then without even looking at the boys, she kept reading, and her feelings sunk far lower than before. Almost as much as when she'd found out her son had been sleeping in a cupboard.

Snape didn't dislike Harry - he hated him.

Pursing her lips, and fighting back tears, she had to wonder did everyone she used to love as a child hate her son now?

Harry looked very upset as well, more so that his mother looked so close to bursting into tears, but Lily gave none of those boys a chance to say anything, as she quickly read on.

The Potions classes took place in the dungeons, where the walls were lined with creepy pickled animals. Like Flitwick, Snape decided to do a roll call on the first class, and also made a remark upon finding Harry's name, in this case, referring to him as a celebrity.

James gritted his teeth, and both Sirius and Remus felt themselves go a bit flushed with anger at the way this was starting already.

Draco Malfoy began sniggering loudly, to which Snape took no notice. Harry couldn't help but notice Snape's eyes were black, like Hagrid's, but reminded him more of dark tunnels.

"Spot on comparison," Sirius hissed, Lily ignored him.

He then gave them a small lecture on what to expect, speaking in barely above a whisper, but managing to keep their every attention.

"I'm surprised really," James grumbled under his breath, "since everyone had a natural talent for ignoring him during classes."

Telling them there wasn't much wand waving in this class, but how useful potions could be,

"He sure thinks highly of his job," Sirius snapped.

Lily snapped as well, having quite enough, "Alright you two, you hate him. I know that. But I am not going to sit here and listen to you complain about every little thing he says."

Both boys went a bit wide eyed at the veracity, not knowing that she was channeling her own anger outwards. When her eyes swiveled onto Remus, possibly expecting him to join his friends, or maybe hoping for an ally against them, Remus simply threw his hands up in surrender and said, "I've several issues with Severus, but I'm not going to sit around and berate him."

"No, but you'll sit by and watch your friends do it," she practically hissed, all those old feelings coming back up to the surface again.

"Hey!" All three began at once, but Harry had finally had enough. "Stop it!"

They did indeed all freeze and turn to him. Harry had shouted so loudly though that baby Harry began crying in shock and fear. Sirius calmed him down quickly enough, and then Harry went on in more mellow tones, "Stop it, please. I can't stand watching you all fight like this."

Lily and James in particular looked remorseful, but Sirius still looked ready for a fight, and said, "Yes well, I guess there are some things we all still need to get off of our chests."

"Why are you even fighting though?" Harry demanded. "What on earth am I missing?"

All four fidgeted slightly, suddenly realizing they hadn't really mentioned there old school rival/friend.

Finally, it was Lily that sighed and said, "How about we explain after this chapter dear? It is a bit involved."

Harry still looked annoyed, but agreed anyways. His parents had kept their word about these things so far.

and finishing with how he could teach them great things, if they weren't the usual idiots he had to teach.

Remus couldn't help the snort that escaped him, oh that was a lovely teaching method, insult your students.

Snape then turned his attention back on Harry and asked him what he would get if you mixed powdered root of asphodel and an infusion of wormwood.

"The Drought of Living Death," Lily said at once, her eyes narrowing with distaste, that was a sixth year potion after all. "Why on earth would any of them know that?"

Harry's mind was a complete blank, he'd never heard of those, and judging by Ron's face, neither had he. Hermione's hand shot straight into the air.

"I don't believe it," James gaped, "there's no way she actually knows that!"

"Perhaps she was going to cite something from One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi," Sirius offered, not believing that even this bright little first year could know that.

Harry admits he doesn't know, and Snape sneers at him, saying how fame clearly wasn't everything.

"He did not," James snarled, wanting to reach out and take the book to confirm that this bully was really picking on a child now, for something as awful as his parents death!

"Why that," both Remus and Sirius began at once, but Lily quickly looked round at them, her face flushed with anger herself, but saying, "I meant it you three. I will not sit here and listen to you go badgering on about him every time he says something. Yes-" she quickly added on when James looked ready to fight back, "-he shouldn't have said that, it was wrong. Yet I won't hear it."

All three slumped back in real agitation now, really not wanting to see how far Snivellus was going to push little Harry's buttons.

He ignored Hermione's hand and instead asked Harry another question, where would you find a bezoar?

"In the stomach of a goat," she said to herself, that at least was a first year question, though why he was still picking on her boy, made her furious. However, as the one most wronged by him, she still felt she was the one who should be complaining, and she was holding it together. They should be able to as well.

Hermione was now waving her hand frantically, and Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle were all shaking with laughter. Harry again admitted how he didn't know the answer, adding on sir at the end.

"And he's still being polite and everything," Sirius grumbled to himself.

Snape cracks that Harry should have opened a textbook before coming to class.

"Really now," Remus snarled, "that's just being childish," though he said it quietly enough he didn't think Lily heard him.

Harry had looked through all of his books, but did Snape really expect him to memorize everything in his text One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi? Snape was still ignoring Hermione, the only person with her hand raised, and instead asked Harry what's the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?

"There the same plant, really now Severus, if he doesn't know by now move on!" Lily said in outrage, yes having heard all of the boys previous mutters, but finally losing her own patience.

"Lily, are you going to answer all of these questions?" James asked.

"It distracts me!" she snapped, temper flaring.

"Alright then, you do that," he said at once, tossing his hands up in surrender.

Now Hermione took to her feet and was waving her hand frantically, clearly determined to show she knew the answer.

Remus wanted to laugh at this, she clearly wanted to prove herself, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it, still to angered at Snape's actions.

Harry again says he doesn't know the answer, then points out how Hermione clearly does, and he should give her a shot.

"Thank you Harry," James said, releasing a breath, "I was starting to get worried you'd let him do that to you all class."

Harry shook his head, having had more than enough bullying from the family he lived with to last a lifetime, he really wasn't going to let a teacher start on him now.

Snape was not pleased. He snapped at Hermione to sit down, then informed the class of the proper answer to all of those questions, then demanded to know why they weren't all writing that information down.

Lily's hands tensed over the book so hard she feared she might rip it. Still, that didn't lessen her anger any. Really, now who was acting like a child? Taking an old grudge out on her baby.

While the students went to work on that, Snape called out how Gryffindor had lost a point, for Harry's cheek.

James groaned and planted his face in his hands, knowing full well that this was just the beginning in a long line of times he was going to hate his eleven year old self.

Things only got worse from there, as he set them up making a potion to cure boils. He went stalking around, insulting everyone's work except Malfoy's, whom he seemed to favor.

"His dad's an old Death Eater buddy I'm sure," Sirius whispered into baby Harry's ear, making very sure Lily didn't hear that one.

Then Neville's potion began to boil over, sweeping across the whole floor and burning holes in people's shoes.

"Now that's a real accomplishment," Remus chuckled, "I didn't manage to melt a cauldron until my second potions lesson."

"And you then melted one every other class after that," Sirius laughed.

"Don't exaggerate Sirius," James said, a teasing smile curling his lips, "it was only once a month I'm sure."

"Oh haha, very funny," he grumbled, his friends would never let him live that down.

Neville had gotten a full blast of it in the face, and was moaning in pain as boils sprang up all over his exposed skin.

"The poor thing," Lily crooned.

Snape called him an idiot,

"That arse!" She screamed.

All four boys jumped, looking as startled as the baby. Lily quickly set the book aside, then went over and scooped the baby away from Sirius, more to calm her own nerves down then anything.

Only after her son was properly happy again did she give him back and march back over and pick up the book, intending to pick up where she left off, but James bravely said, "Ah, Lily flower, would you like to vent a bit?"

"No," she said through gritted teeth, then read in the same way.

and predicted that Neville had added porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire.

"A genuine mistake," Remus muttered, rubbing a spot on his arm in pained remembrance.

Neville just whimpered as an answer, and Snape instructed Seamus to take him up to the hospital wing, then he turned his attention on Harry, and demanded to know why Harry didn't stop that mistake.

"Why should he," James cut in his, his eyes burning, "it's not his job to watch, it's yours."

Lily sucked in a deep breath, but finally started to read again in an almost normal tone, only for her words to spike in anger as she kept going.

He accused him of not doing because it would make himself look better, before taking another point off of Gryffindor.

"Oh bloody hell!” she and Sirius cried at the same time.

"This is, I really can't believe," Lily stuttered, to angry for words any more. Sirius sure wasn't, as he continued to verbally abuse Snape, calling him several things he'd never even thought to do back in school.

Even James and Remus looked like they were going to explode at any given moment, each only being able to hold themselves back at a bit of personal guilt, but it was quickly waning.

Harry just looked around at all of them, hurt and confused as to what had his family so upset.

When he gently touched his mum on the shoulders, she came out of her rage a bit, enough to go on anyways.

Harry was finally about to lose his temper, and opened his mouth to argue, before Ron kicked him.

"Probably for the best," Remus sighed, "don't give him a real excuse to go after you."

"He obviously doesn't need one," James growled.

Ron quietly warned Harry that was a bad idea, they didn't want to see what worse thing Snape might do. When they were finally climbing back up the stairs after class,

"Thank you," Lily breathed, knowing full well she couldn't have handled another paragraph of that.

Harry's feelings were as low as they could get. He'd lost two points for Gryffindor in his first week

All three boys then snorted, genuinely amused this was what had Harry's spirits down.

"Please," James sighed, "I lost ten in my first ever class by asking Slughorn if his moustache was hiding tusks."

Harry blinked, very confused by this, but it made Lily laugh again and say, "Oh yes, I remember that. Slughorn always did like cheek, but never, it seemed, from you."

"It might have had something to do with the fact that James resented his little Slug Club initiation," Sirius said wisely, "as James really didn't want to be invited to another, he made a bit of an arse of himself."

"And it just got worse as time went on," Remus laughed.

and wondered why Snape hated him so much.

"That's my fault, I'm afraid," James said with a grimace.

"Our fault," Sirius butted in at once, "you were hardly ever alone after all."

"We couldn't very well let you after a point," Remus agreed, "or you likely would have been ambushed."

"I can't decide if that was really sweet, or just sad at how many enemies you lot made," Lily said, frowning at them.

"Go with sweet," Sirius said in what he clearly thought was a charming tone of voice, "it makes us look better."

Harry felt like he was finally understanding the underlying problem here, but still wanted to hear this story first hand. Ignoring that awful feeling that, yet again, he should know the answer anyways.

Ron tried to cheer him up by pointing out that his elder brothers lost points for the house all the time, then asked if he could come meet Hagrid with Harry. Harry agreed and the two boys went out onto the grounds of the school, easily coming across Hagrid's cabin on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. When they knocked, they heard deep booming barks from inside, and Hagrid's voice instructing what must be a dog named Fang to get back.

"Oh, did Hagrid get a new dog?" Sirius asked brightly.

"I guess, time wise, poor Claw would have died," James said sadly.

"I'm sure this one is just as vicious," Remus said, chuckling.

Hagrid got the door open, and a black boarhound was straining at his collar.

Lily was pursing her lips, knowing full well the boys were joking about the vicious thing, but still feeling rather worried that Hagrid had to hold the dog back.

When Hagrid did let him go, he lunged forward and began slobbering all over the boys in greeting.

Now they were all laughing at this, Lily relaxing at once as she realized Fang was just a little puppy at heart.

"Better than Claw then," Sirius laughed, "he just loved sticking his nose up our-"

"Okay Sirius," James said quickly, "we know, I promise, we remember."

Harry introduced Ron while Hagrid made them a cup of tea and put some rock cakes on a plate.

"Rock cakes?" Lily asked in confusion.

The others shrugged, sure they knew Hagrid in passing and liked him well enough, they travelled the grounds so much that they had struck up a few conversations and gotten to know his previous dog, but never well enough to be invited over.

Hagrid took one look at Ron's hair and laughed about another Weasley on school grounds, then told them how he spent half his life chasing the twins away from the forest. The rock cakes Hagrid served were shapeless and the raisins in them were so hard Harry nearly broke a tooth over one.

"Oh I see," Lily said, unable to help laughing a bit, "Hagrid must not be a very good cook."

But Harry and Ron enjoyed the rest of their time there as they talked about all of their classes. Both boys laughed when Hagrid referred to Filch as an old git.

"Now I wonder where he could have heard that," James said with high exaggeration as he eyed

Sirius, who smiled unabashedly.

He even expressed his desire to sick Fang on Mrs. Norris, since she always followed him around when he went up to the school.

"Now that's just rude," Lily said, frowning.

"Hagrid clearly doesn't know that a good way to get a cat to stop following you is to bark at it a few times," Sirius said wisely.

"I highly doubt anybody but you four would know that," Lily said right back.

Harry mentioned Snape's class to Hagrid, and again voiced the question of why Snape hated him so much, but Hagrid denied it, asking why would he?

"Oh, he knows exactly why," Remus said, frowning a bit.

"Though I can't blame him for not telling," James said sadly, "I guess Hagrid doesn't want you to start out hating one of your teachers."

"But you are still going to tell me yourselves right?" Harry persisted.

Still not looking happy about it, James promised he would try.

Yet Hagrid was about as good as Quirrell at evading the subject, as he quickly changed topics to Ron's older brother Charlie.

"And as subtle as ever," Sirius chuckled.

Harry suspected Hagrid had changed the subject on purpose

"Cotton on to that have you?" James said weakly.

but instead turned his attention to an edition of the Daily Prophet Hagrid had lying around, which was still talking about the break in at Gringotts, which had the date of July 31st on it.

"Really?" They all said at once, taking note now that this had happened on Harry's birthday, the day he was at Gringotts. All four frowned now, very glad Hagrid had been with him. If it really had been Dark wizards, then they would have liked nothing more than to get their hands on Harry.

Still, they managed to comfort themselves by thinking this must have happened much later, after Harry had long since left Diagon Alley, so none of them said anything more of it.

Harry exclaims to Hagrid that this had happened on his birthday, that this could have happened while they were there!

"Oh please don't say that," Lily said looking almost faint at the idea.

Hagrid definitely wouldn't meet Harry's eyes this time.

"So he knows?" James yelped in shock.

"It was the package he took out?" Sirius said, looking wide eyed.

"What on earth did Dumbledore have him pick up?" Remus demanded.

Lily bit her lip hard to stop herself from blurting out the next question, 'why was it suddenly that a door was being bared off that same year?' No, it couldn't be possible Dumbledore would hide something that Dark wizards wanted in a school full of children. That was dangerous beyond anything else there.

Instead, she pressed on quickly, hoping Hagrid would once again make a stab at changing the subject.

Harry on the other hand looked like he was going to be sick, the constant feeling of pain building up in his head getting worse with all these questions he should have been able to answer, and quickly zoned in on the sound of his mother's voice as a distraction.

Harry couldn't help but wonder if this had something to do with that little package Hagrid had picked up.

"It stands to reason, or just a really, really big fat coincidence," Remus muttered, mostly to himself.

When they did leave Hagrid's to go back up to the castle for dinner, Harry was now loaded down with questions about this, and rock cakes Hagrid had offered that they'd been too polite to refuse. Had Hagrid taken that package out just in time before the thieves stole it? Where was the package now? Did Hagrid know something about Snape that he didn't want to tell Harry?

"Most likely, I have a bad feeling I know the answer to that, and yes," Lily said wisely.

"What did you do with the rock cakes?" James asked loudly, really not wanting to think of Dark wizards bursting through the Hogwarts gates in search of this artifact that all this implied was now hanging around his son's school.

Harry gave himself a firm shake and said, "err, Ron and I left them by the fireplace, let them melt a bit and get all gooey again. Then we really did eat them, and they weren't bad then."

[pirate-autobot]

The Experiment: Ch 3

The colony sets up a society and rules. Red Agate come s up with some of his own.

CU gem au by @angerydj

“The Diamonds stranded us?”

“We’re all going to die!!!”

“I never liked them! Not after what happened to Pink!”

“This is a joke! It has to be a joke!”

“We’ll never go back to homeworld.”

“Who will lead us?!”

Who indeed?

In gem ranking, the Diamonds were of course on top. But in their absence, it was usually the highest agate who would take the helm. And every agate in the colony found themselves assaulted with requests and questions over what was going to happen next.

The problem is not one agate stepped up to the responsibility.

Not even Red Agate, who poofed every gem that dared to bother him. He was not one to be sociable. Walls were built around him to avoid any unnecessary contact for a reason. And with everyone pestering him, he literally carved himself his own home outside of the colony in the cave wall. He used whatever tools he could find and his own heat powers to make it.

It was big. He was a pretty big gem, but he might have overdone it inside. It was almost big enough for a Diamond. As if he’d ever let one of those clods in his home anyway.

They called him a defect, when their gems were the most tarnished and impure of them all. He wouldn’t have doomed a colony to death. Well... Maybe not a colony, persay.

His datapad beeped with another message. Red Agate sighed and skimmed over all of the messages from needy gems.

“Blah blah blah,” he muttered

He stopped on the most recent message. Something about a library. He sighed and returned to the colony.

The library was near the school, the building was in the shape of a diamond.

What was everyone's deal with all the diamond shapes? Maybe he should take control of the colony just to get rid of all the diamond symbolism. Especially the one on his shirt. He made his way inside. A dark green peridot was standing next to... Citrine.

He wondered why he hated her so much, but at the same time he did not often question why. Something in the back of his mind just despised her very existence. No arguing with that.

“What’s the problem? Nothing arranged right? A shelf knocked over?” Red Agate asked

“It’s a bit more serious than that.” Citrine said, adjusting her visor.

“Look.” The peridot held out a book. It had human writing on it. It was a language which could be easily translated. He still raised an eyebrow at the object.

“And...?” He asked

“It’s a human periodical in a gem library. There’s an entire section of human periodicals!” The peridot complained

“So?” Came Red Agates response

“Human books in a gem library. I can’t believe I have to explain how wrong that is.” Citrine said, hand in her hair.

Red Agate sighed and summoned his whip, wrapping it around the citrine and peridot. Citrine remained calm while the peridot began panicking. The heat was not burning, at least.

“I don’t care. My only job is to make sure your infant gems grow up into geniuses, like you. Everything else can happen. The Diamonds aren’t watching. We are all going to die anyway. We can do whatever we want.” Red Agate explained

With a tug, the gems were spun around as he pulled back his whip. Red Agate left them to their own devices. He had a home to build after all.

“Despite his brutish nature,” Peridot said in a dizzying daze, “The red agate raises a good point.”

“Perhaps if we are stuck in Earth, it would be best to educate ourselves in the human section.” Citrine agreed

And word began to spread once again. This time, it was the realization that the Diamonds weren’t watching. Yes, they had no rulers. But they had no rulers! They could make this place a nirvana for however long it would last.

But not everyone was ready for being able to do anything they wanted.

A council was formed, with one of almost every gem class assembled. Citrine represented the scientists, a yellow quartz for the soldiers, a peridot for the technicians, and a topaz, ruby and pearl together represented the common gems. All of them together made the laws of the colony, they are the ones who came up with the systems of was supposed to work where and what was to be done.

It was decided the experiment would continue, regardless of the Diamonds betrayal. Citrine still carried her peridot with her, wherever she went, and made sure he paid attention to everything she said.

Fusion still will be highly frowned upon. There were no solid laws or arguments against the idea, but most of the gems in the council were made uncomfortableness by the topic. Homeworlds ideals were still ingrained in their systems. Perhaps fusions would be allowed at a much later date.

Not yet.

Considering there was still much work to be done to ensure the colony to be in working order, anything that would be considered “recreational” had to be limited. They may have been stranded, but every gem still had a purpose. There was no sense in wasting it.

The human section of the library became required reading for all gems. And the books varied from a cat in a hat, to romantic tragedies in Verona, to the anatomy of a creature called a “dolphin”.

They had to adapt to this planet somehow. Learning their literature may as well be step one. As for leaving the colony to go outside... 

Red Agate was elected (by Citrine, of course) to travel outside of the cave to see how far he could go.

Fine by him.

He stopped at the spot of possible fusion. He sighed and touched his gem, remembering the faint glimpses of a former life he saw the other day. He wondered if more would come to him. 

Nothing did. And so he walked around the space.

He heard something ahead. It was a calming noise that echoed around him. It was louder when he reached the mouth of the cave.

The sky was a beautiful shade of orange above. The sun was setting in the distance, dipping into the calm ocean. Red Agate approached the water. He stood in a spot where a wave flowed onto the shore, getting his feet wet. The clear water pulled back as another wave came in.

“They wanted to know how far I’ll go.” Red Agate commented with a shrug, walking further into the water until he was completely submerged.

It was like a whole other world. A colorful coral reef was full of life. Several kinds of fish swam this way and that, darting in and around each piece of coral. Sea grass swayed in the steady current, a few fish nibbling on the bits. A stringray glided along the ocean floor, startling a few fish into hiding.

“Wow.” Red Agate said, honestly impressed by what he was seeing. He knelt down to look at an anemone at the clownfish hiding inside of it.

“Beautiful.” He whispered

Isn’t it beautiful Aggy? I know you are.

Maybe... N-no, not me. You are. You’re beautiful, and I’m not.

Don’t say that!

Red Agate stood up quickly, startling the fish.

He was still alone down under the ocean. He touched his gem.

“I’m alone.” He said to himself

No... I’m here...

He closed his eyes trying to focus. He felt the palms of his hands heat up as he balled them into fists. The voice wasn’t real. He was losing his mind. He had things to take care of back in the colony.

He had things to take care of.

Red Agate walked back up onto the surface and back to the colony. He entered the councils chambers. He was pleased the see the table they sat at was round, and not a diamond shape.

“So... it's safe to leave the colony?” The topaz asked

“Yeah. Might want to get a quartz to accompany you if you don’t feel safe.” Red Agate explained

“We are not bodyguards!” The yellow quartz protested, banging her fists on the table.

“Well you’re not soldiers anymore!” Red Agate yelled back, slamming his own fists on the table. “There are no more wars to fight, so prove yourselves useful.”

“Calm down you two.” Citrine said

“Sure thing, Snee-dly.” Red Agate said with a testing smile. 

Citrine closed her eyes thinking very careful of what she would say next. Considering the infant gem I need her arms, she couldn’t say anything too rash.

“Sneedly?” She said with a straight face, “Is that the best you can come up with? Of course, you’re an agate, what was I expecting, a decent insult?” Every gem at the table reacted.

Topaz, Pearl, and Ruby all covered their mouth, eyes, and ears, respectively. Peridot looked away and chuckled into the back of he returned hand. While Yellow Quartz raised her arms, pointed at Red Agate, and let out a loud “OOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!”

Red Agate growled, a hand going to his gem.

“You attack me, you attack him.” Citrine sternly reminded him.

“You think I care?!” Red Agate roared. The whip was summoned. 

Topaz jumped in front of Citrine, a crystal gauntlet catching the weapon. But even through her gauntlet she felt the heat. She held on tightly, making sure the agate was unable to crack his whip or pull it back.

“Thank you, Red Agate.” Citrine said, “you may leave.” Red Agate scoffed and let the whip disappeared.

“This isn’t over, Sneedly.” He said, walking out of the room.

“What a hot head.” The ruby commented. Everyone turned and raised an eyebrow at her. “What?”

[northernjulian]

"Lucidity Roses"

LUCIDITY ROSES ルシディ・ローゼズ

Dedicated to:

This poem, project, and visual representation of mental growth & beauty is dedicated to someone I miss dearly and think about everyday. My best friend Jaedin A. She helped me get through everything. From my first heartbreak, to my first day of suicide watch in the hospital. She was there. From crying over being abused in a relationship to crying over being locked in a hospital room. She was there. As I write this dedication with tears falling down my face like that day let it be known that I would not be here today. Mentally, and physically if it weren’t for this person. It’s nothing simple like I got an injury and she stopped the bleeding therefore she “saved my life” shit. It’s more like I couldn’t find my own injury but she stopped it from hurting by just being there with me. No matter the situation. Whether it was when I was 1,500+ miles away or just inches away she helped me push through everything that would’ve broken me. Thank you so much for existing in my era. Xox

This piece is heavily inspired by Jenny Holzers ‘Truisms’ poem. Her diverse yet obvious stanzas created beauty by the things we see and hear everyday. Basic knowledge formed together to create a intricate puzzle like piece that allows the mind to gain an insightful view. Thank you Jenny. Alongside being dedicated to my best friend Jaedin it is dedicated to those who did me wrong. Sorry to kill your vibes but no one can bring me down no matter how long they try. With all love and no hate <3 -Julian

WARNING

This is art. This is real. This is raw. I speak my mind and express everything I see and understand. This ain’t some politics-free Facebook post. Not wanting to argument with family members shit. I’ve been blocked by family members for the things I’ve said. My aunt blocked me after posting pro-black lives matter messages on my Facebook. Apparently not wanting to see my half blood brother on the news is too offensive. Wanting justice for innocent people was “too much”. Putting bad cops in the system they avoid was “too excessive”. If you can’t respect my existence or my families and friends then fuck you. This country has been hypocritical since the day it was founded, but overtime new laws and such have been put into the system yet they still treat us like the cameras ain’t recording, like the wounds ain’t showing, like the pain ain’t growing. So realize that this piece isn’t some school assembly script. This is raw and uncut like Trumps Twitter minus the fact that I’m not a damn idiot. Also while reading this piece you have to be in touch with the other side. By that I mean you have to be relaxed and at peace. Plug in headphones, white noise machine, open the window, do what you gotta do to be ready to see instead of just read. It’s like a deep song with curse words in it. You can’t listen for the words, you have to listen for the meaning. If Van Gogh painted Starry Night in an art class no one would fully appreciate it for the way it was meant to be. Art is three dimensional and up. It can be seen from many sides. Although all of them can be justified, when the artist explains what his two dimensional view of the piece is you gotta just sit back in amazement. The whole time I was writing this I had that mindset. This my canvas mindset. Knowing that each stroke on the white surface has to be better than the last. So here is my piece. My canvas. I hope you enjoy and understand.

Here is “Lucidity Roses”

— america is the biggest terrorist threat not isis all lives matter movement is a fictional movement anatomy is important for love astrology isn’t a science arian advantages are my disadvantages america escaped tyrannical governments only to become one abortion isn’t murder amendments have been broken atheists are people not afraid of death aberrant people are the future able bodied people are the most lazy abolish our current government abrasive people are common absolutism is always a bad idea abstemious people are annoying absorption of countries kills cultures acquaintance is a rude way of saying relationship adeptness is underrated altruism is key for humanity apathy controls our motivations astronomy is observable and beautiful amassing is dangerous anonymity people keep the truth alive aflame is the best way to describe America right now aptitude lovers are real aridity is rising

beautiful mornings happen everyday borders don’t stop shit branding runs capitalism blue lives matter is equal to all lives matters blue people don’t exist bernie should’ve won bravery comes in many forms bruce becoming caitlin was important for this generation baby boomers blame everything on anyone younger bombs are never precise boys don’t cry, men do tho bitches aren’t women bad bitch isn’t a compliment babies show us life in it’s pure form baptism doesn’t save every child of god baptism didn’t keep me holy bottles ease the pain boredom is a first world problem bacteria is everywhere germaphobes being called something besides your name is great blonde was album of the year black lives matter buying expensive things have repercussions baffling is trumps best and only skill burning the flag doesn’t help anything basketball is the best sport

crying in the rain feels good creativity is the key to a new world conspiracy theories aren’t reality cherry blossoms are natures physical form of love condolences are appreciated cancer can be stopped censorship stops art ceasefires never truly cease fire cultures are not to be mocked colors all have meaning codes control our superficial social media currently waiting for closure classical mythologies were once religions civilizations never disappear fully cobain was murdered ceasar once ruled the world callisto needs to be explored carbon dioxide emissions are real cherokee are the toughest natives christmas is definitely the most wonderful time chickenpox in america wasn’t an accident cold war was the scariest war columbus didn’t find shit captain avery was a genius camo clothes are never out of fashion crucifixion is over the top

dark nights only make brighter days death penalty is overpriced depression is real denying science and facts gave us trump don’t argue with science devil dances to inner city anthems death lurking in my thoughts lately da vinci was the closest thing to perfection drake runs our generation dogs are impossible to hate divinity is possible in our form diamonds are perfection doomsayers don’t enjoy their life dormant volcanoes are relatable dancing is art dinosaurs exist despite being held back we succeeded desperate people are the most sick different place this planet is nowadays dying is overrated dust shows authenticity dyed my hair for this rebirth defense is a form of offense dreams mean something doing thangs for myself deities exist in us

“every night fucks everyday up” emptiness is a curse everyone is beautiful in their own way exercise is a reliable stress reliever eagles are sacred earth deserves better easter island disappeared electromagnetism control our sense of direction extinct species show how precious life is endorphins are off in my mind epicenter disasters happen in our minds too egyptians had the smarts of unearthly creatures einstein got sad over things he didn’t understand too errors in our ways are to be fixed not ignored effective ways to love vary on the person elsewhere exist on our minds equality is bullshitted in our world eventually everything falls endings are emotionally exhausting efforts mean everything egos are killed by assholes education isn’t always important for a better world eternal life happens when you love life ethnic cleansing still happens today ethics are not negotiable eyes perceive more than the physical

fuck trump by the way fires burn inside flowers are unreal football is a life damaging sport “faults break into pieces” freezing points are breaking points futura is a great font fonts are key pieces for expression focusing isn’t something gained through pills fallacies run our political system futuristic ideas were once sci-fi ideas finding love is very important fire was once considered magic freedom isn’t real in america fresh fruits are being created as if they were artificial for the last time the earth isn’t flat fascism exist in our america fuel exist in many forms feminism is needed for this generation fake love is true evil false prophets are average humans fables are more than just cute fake news doesn’t exist only inaccurate news faithfulness isn’t difficult when you aren’t an asshole fanatics are just passionate, not crazy feedback is appreciated

guys can be pretty too generalization is the key to all problems global warming is real great barrier reef is almost gone gothic art is the realist art gambling is the currency form of lust geniuses exist in many fields generosity can go a long way geometry is the simplest form of math ghost exist giggles are always nice glaciers are separating glaring is rude girls glisten glitter beauty is magical goddesses are women goals should always be pursued go all out with anything you get some time for yourself gain respect towards those who hurt from things you can’t see great wall didn’t stop the mongols good people exist gasoline isn’t worth killing people over goodnight messages mean a lot good morning messages mean more gestures mean more than words

hells exist beyond our minds health care should always be free heavens exist in our minds hesitation kills motivation highly favorable people were once underrated homophobia isn’t real, being an asshole is homosexuality is just as natural as heterosexuality hogs represent rich people houses aren’t homes unless they’re made into one home is where the love is highlights of life are everything without a price high beams on a dark road how do some people live with themselves? hidden in plain sight things are extraordinary hello starts every conversation height is superficial hierarchy only worked for the pharaohs hire the unfavored heels shouldn’t be a beauty standard heavens gate is no different from christianity heavens gate is a religion hashtag save our girls happiness has me believing i made heaven harassment is cruel to humanity hardly anything is real anymore help is never too far away

i feel like pablo making my own art i’m just human isis doesn’t represent islam imperialism is the reason rome fell imperialism is the reason we shall fall immigrants made america i’m sad as shit when i’m alone i can also be happy as shit when i’m alone i see race i just don’t care about it internet is overrated and superficial inferior things are not always the problem invasion of foreign countries is never reasonable ice cream is good for the soul ignorance isn’t a bliss illogical facts are “alternative facts” illumination of the mind is inspiring imagination is the only drug we need islam has no relation to terrorism impossible is only a word infuriating people lead to a dumber generation infallible beliefs are close minded inhabiting foreign lands ruined cultures informing is not insulting innovation is suppressed in our world instincts are always right intelligence is uncommon

jim jones was the furthest thing from the messiah jesus was brown jean-michel basquait was our van gogh just kidding isn’t an excuse for your assholeness jealousy ruins more relationships than actual issues jewels aren’t worth the killing judges have sympathy journalists can be bias joy is a great feeling justice is failing in america judging others is natural jungles need protection jades are the perfect shade of green jewelry is a classism statement journey around the world if you can jump into new things don’t be scared jokes keep the sadness at bay jumble things are sometimes more beautiful than neat things jaunts are good for you jigsaws relate to our lives justifying racism is impossible judaism is the most neglected religion join the cause jackson was killed by a doctor jerichos’ horn is heard all around world just wondering if i’ll make it in life

keep thinking positive things and they will happen killing for peace is a hypocritical phenomenon kings never end happily ever after kind people are the most beautiful keep your family close knowing isn’t always understanding kkk is a terrorist organization kids bring the family together kanye is a smart man keep yourself your number one priority kissing is just as addictive as drugs kahlo is the best artist ever karma will get you kaitlin lives forever keep the bullshit away kaleidoscopes sparked my creativity kd betrayed his team keep it real keep the faith kepler telescope watches the heavens kepler-452b is our last resort kgb tactics are still in use kick back and get dreamin killing the innocent happens too often killing by accident happens too kidnapping is the worst crime against humanity

loving and sex are two different things legends never live life is a clusterfuck love doesn’t have a gender loneliness craves company lying is an insult to ones morality les brown motivates me lucidity roses is my canvas lucidity roses is life lust for life losing is better than not trying living shouldn’t be bordered by rules lying is an insult to yourself leaving incompetent people isn’t wrong or bad loving those who others don’t is perfect let go every once and awhile laws shouldn’t be bribed lawyers shouldn’t defend sick people lurking gets us hurt lies formed history last night stories are the best lately i’ve been feeling sad lyrics always have deeper meanings last doesn’t always mean something bad lines divide us like paper layoffs are necessary for a new world

majorities blame their problems on minorities mind over matter meditation is a mental workout mental injuries are worse than physical ones make america united again make your dreams a reality men don’t understand motherhood motherhood is a connection like no other “my eyes had a gleam once” my intentions are always good, my actions aren’t always tho meddling in others relationships is disrespectful mexico is a beautiful country manipulated by our politicians managing friendships is tiring morgues show us life after death minerals are running low mindsets vary on time sets marrying just to cheat is unacceptable and wrong mothers are responsible for our nurture vs nature thinking missing people who hurt you is ass-backwards “might've” has no meaning in the present masculinization insults the free spirits makaveli escaped to cuba magna carta is the way of the people mask show more than the person behind it medications should be free mcdonalds runs america

nothing happens for a reason nights with the person you love is better than anything nothing is as intimate as love never have i or will i say “president trump” narcissism got me through my depression nihilism is the truest religion ‘no more parties in la’ nobody pray for me! no means no never think about the past names always deserve a deeper meaning narrow minded people are ruining our country nikes is perfect natural beauty is the perfect form of art news stations are almost always biased nirvana is close by.. nagging gets you nowhere nowadays people aren’t living in the now newcomers deserve respect newcomers deserve recognition nazism is still active in america north is the main direction never love someone you wouldn’t wanna wake up with narcotics control the banks nasa deserves better never judge something you don’t understand

our system is corroded ousting exposes jealousy outfits describe our personalities overnight love is the best ocean needs protection oceans display vibes omitting happiness is brighter than any rays omega is more dominant than alpha order is tyrannical orgasms vary oracles saw illusions odd problems can become the most dangerous ones mental state is a number one priority oak is the most refreshing wood obligate yourself to everything you love oblivion exist only if you open the portal to it oblivious people are the loudest only illegal humans are those who manipulate the public our greatest internal struggle is wanting what we give old white people should have no say on racial issues obliterating countries doesn’t solve problems obnoxious people are common occasional personal days are necessary off days are the worst days offer yourself to the ones you love old times are gone, forget them

past civilizations were more advanced than current ones peoples temple was a suicide group political corruption runs our system police gotta stop killing us pro-black isn’t anti-white philosophies vary on mindsets philosophers were once seen as irrelevant picassos’ rose period is my life season political parties are for small minded people politics separated my family permafrost love is gonna be a visual perfect people only exist when you become in love with someone pesticides are just as bad for humans than bugs push through the tough shit pulling someone closer is a form of intimacy purple is a sexual color purest forms of intimacy are decided by lovers please love someone before you leave this planet peaceful protest are always manipulated by fox news party whenever you can for however long you can pretty isn’t a girl only word panama was split for financial reasons peaks are the top of our lives pastor keeps the followers with hope paparazzi got no respect please don’t stop living

quit slut shaming sexually active people quit calling every female a bitch quality over quantity all the time questions without answers are possible quiet people are a blessing quotes were unappreciated at their time qualm thoughts are stressful quantum mechanics are the future qualified people can still be stupid queens don’t need kings quickly doing things is sloppy quicksand is the physical metaphor of depression quilts are comfortable canvases quixotic love is the best love quizzing us on things we don’t know is irrational quotation marks aren’t needed for the words you say quran isn’t evil quran is equal to the beautiful quarantining sad people is cruel quarantined orcas need to be freed #fuckseaworld quite a few good things in life we don’t appreciate quitting is never the answer quit fucking with people who don’t care for you queer isn’t an insult question everything you don’t understand quasars represent underdogs

reverse racism isn’t real respect your elders those who respect you roses show more beauty than we can comprehend “respect existence or expect resistance” rest in peace selena respect for women shouldn’t be gained through knowing one remember the good days every chance you get real friends make time for you release week was dope reality is distorted raw art is the truth we need ranting proves you can think random compliments are the best compliments reading puts you in another world reducing stress is impossible in our world refusing facts isn’t always because ignorance remember that you matter runaway with the person you love runaway is also a perfect song, thanx kanye roses are red roses aren’t dead riding with your friends is peaceful reintroducing people is lovely radiation levels are unnatural radical ideas are barbaric rapist don’t deserve a casket

“special shoutout to the icon dynasty slip and slide records” science is the forerunner of every subject self control is a uncommon blessing support planned parenthood support stem cell research sexism is at an all time high sadness has me believing i belong in a sanitarium sexual fantasies are normal scientist don’t lie, politicians do stop being scared secrets are esoteric seducing has to be wanted school makes me feel stupid sadness dissipates when we begin to live smoking kills shea made me sad shan made me happy strong people exist satanist aren’t bad people say no to *bad* drugs seeing old friends is refreshing sad and mad emotions ruin lives safe sex is rare saints were once sinners sinners were once saints see what i’m saying?

tranquility is achieved through our minds the meaning of life is happiness thank you for the inspiration frank o. tupac is still alive for me the world is ours taste of lips is a drug the only thing we need is love tattoos tell stories that words can’t “to die without leaving a corpse..” thank the universe or your deity everyday “torture is barbaric” the day is as only as bright as you make it tired is a real excuse for not doing things trading your soul for something always ends bad trendsetters aren’t original treat everyone you meet with respect trying to educate the ignorant is pointless tattoos at a young age show defiance tattoos don’t look gross when you get older tips are small but meaningful today is the beginning of a new life. timid people are usually the brightest tacky clothes are fun tell people how special they are tell your deepest secrets to no one take it easy

uncles’ are usually pieces of shit..lookin at you lencho using someone for sex is inhumane ultimately what defines us is our actions, not words u is the saddest song ever umbrellas are cliché understanding someone helps them get better unfortunately we can’t stop time under pressure we can sprout unite the world together again unlikely doesn’t mean impossible unless you’re dead nothing can stop you unusual organisms see us as unusual too urges can be handled uplift everyones spirits unnamed sources are the realist sources untruth the lies using the system to beat it is smart unnecessary comments don’t have to be necessary upload your experiences update your friends as much as possible urgent care is a sad place universe is in us us is nice to say uttering words isn’t always the best idea urban legends are fun to read about until we stop fighting we’ll never start loving

violins are the most beautiful instrument vibrant things give me happiness videotapes are ancient versatile mindsets are necessary very important people are not strangers with money vikings found america vivid dreams are future scenes vaccines don’t cause autism voice your opinion no matter where you live volume never seems loud enough version one is draft like vintage art is overrated verbal abuse is the worst versions show both sides view life differently vote based off personality not political party valleys are scary versace is godlike voices are deceiving vaults are examples of paranoia vice versa situations are just normal situations very good people are always unheard of veterans shouldn’t be veterans venture into the wild visit family as much as you can versus the world

would trump let jesus in our country? women deserve better “wishing things away is not effective” quote jenny we face the inner struggle of the penitent and impenitent thief war on drugs is a waste of time and money wes lang is the descendant of basquait women can hurt men too whiners can’t be choosers winning is just as scary as losing wearing all black is beautiful wanting what you can’t have is cruel would you like you? wishing for the best holds back the best watching people be themselves is interesting why do they keep killing us? when’s tranquility gonna reach us welcome new people like family weddings are a form of art why questions will never be answered why are we here? why do we battle things we can’t see? why do good things happen to bad people? why do bad things happen to good people? why is there a why if it can’t be answered? willpower is yours winning is the only option

xenophobia is wrong not matter how trump puts it xenophile is a lover for high class things xerophytic people are the strong yet depressed humans xanax are for those sad people xeriscape was created for another dustbowl xerothermic weather isn’t normal xenobiotic compounds are even antihuman xerophile organisms are relatable xenogeny is the creation and start of life xat have spiritual energies xenocide is happening to our own species xenoepist think you’re a xenoepist xenomorphs exist xeronisus happens when you don’t love that person xickovit of this country xox means a lot to me x’ing out the bad people like tic-tac-toe xanthippe was the opposite of socrates xenial countries are declining xenocracy founded america xenophobia is runs our country right now xenophobic is like homophobic, so it’s not real xanax are bad for you xenophiles need to know their boundaries x marks the spot xoxo

you don’t have to be in love to make love yelling should only be for sports events years pass like the seasons year-round happiness is important yikes at our country yearbooks shouldn’t be the only time we appreciate each other yearning is a sin but an understandable one yearlong relationships are rare yellow is the most vibrant color y chromosome organisms have no right over double x organisms y chromosome doesn’t excuse being disrespectful yellowstone is gonna explode soon yes is all you need to hear for consent ying yang symbol is life in simple terms yogism is the purest philosophy you can’t expect the unexpected your only priority is you you’ll never know what someone else is going through you are loved you are noticed you are always on someones mind you deserve better you can succeed you can inspire you will be happy you are you

zenith empires eventually fell zero was created by the mayans zodiac signs are bullshit zygotes show us how related we are zeal mindsets are important for our generation zelo was nikes brother zeal mindsets can be dangerous zero first world problems are important zuckerberg made billions off our generation zirconia isn’t diamond zero hour is the best time of the day zeta is an unearthly letter zev (zero emission vehicles) were the future zigzagging down a dark road zika needs to be defeated. zionism fucked over jerusalem zodiac killer was found zoos’ need to be more natural zebra stripes are mesmerizing zealous juries can free the criminals zaddy turns no one on zoning people out is risky zombies is who our voting system was built for zoetropes still amaze me zero stars show in the daytime zero people can talk shit about me now —

Everything in this project has meaning. Everything. I would stay up til the early hours of the morning just thinking and trying to tell my story while correlating it with symbols and clues. Notice how there is every letter in the alphabet on here twenty six times? That was a tribute to Holzers style she had on “Truisms”. Notice how every letter is lowercased? Also a tribute to Holzer. The cover art, hand drawn by the way, the cover is a skull with three roses coming out of it. Those three roses represent the three loves of my life. From best to worst going left to right. The words above them show what they gave and introduced me to. Love, lust, and lorn. All of these things are apart of life. The three emotions we all are controlled by in life. The three things that can break us from ourselves. That’s why the skull is there. After all those things I had to endure I felt nothing but dead inside. On the outside it was visible too. From the days my mother would ask me what’s wrong to the days I would break down at school. It was visible. I seemed dead on the inside. They say nothing is as dry as the bone, but I found a way to push through. My rebirth allowed me to show the world I am still here. After my battles with love a rose grew, after my battles with lust a rose grew, and even after being beat down and almost held away from the light that helped me grow, a rose grew from lorn. I am still recovering from these three things. The roses vary in stages because of this. Lorn was the most impactful on me hence why the rose is the smallest of the three. It is taking time to heal from these things, but I am reborn. Three things that have claimed my last three years. From the day after middle school ended where I was in my room all day crying because I never took a chance at shit to the first day of suicide watch. These are my past lessons. This is my life. Thank you all for allowing me to fully expose this. I hope that this can inspire you to become the best you. I hope this can inspire you that no matter how crazy, lonely, and heartbroken you feel you’re never alone on this crazy ride we call life. Thank you very much. Xoxo -Julian

P.S – Three is my lucky number

[creacherkeeper]

I have an idea for a fic and I think you could do it better justice than I could, so here goes: Fitz realizes he's autistic after his child is diagnosed autistic. Partly inspired by your post thinking up an autistic fitz childhood fic and my own fitz as a dad feels after writing my little ficlet. Of course, if you don't want to write it, that's perfectly fine.

Processing Systems 

sorry this took a while to write! femslash feb happened so you know how that is. but here it is! in all its very educational glory! (with some fluff, it’s not all boring) 

3210 words 

read on AO3 

“Dr. and Dr. Fitz-Simmons, thank you for joining us,” the diagnostician,Dr. Booth, says, a professional smile on her face. Fitz and Jemma take a seatacross from her at her desk, while Caroline, as calm as the four-year-old canmanage, bounds into the diagnostician’s window seat and presses her faceagainst the glass, watching the cars go by outside, her hands twisting togetherin her lap.

“Thank you for seeing us on such short notice,” Jemma says.“Our schedules can be a bit … hectic, as you know, but you’ve been very accommodatingwith your time.”

“Of course.” Dr. Booth readjusts her glasses, peering at apile of papers on her desk. “Now, you said you were advised to come here byyour daughter’s school, correct? This wasn’t an unprompted decision.”

“She’s our first,” Fitz explains, glancing over to Caroline,who hasn’t moved, is just staring wide-eyed out the window. “And neither of ushave a lot of experience with kids. We didn’t think there was anything …different, about her.” He scratches at his face, then looks down at his lap,adding somewhat defensively, “We didn’t think there was anything to beconcerned about.”

“No one said anything about concern,” says Dr. Booth. “Youdon’t have to see this in a negative light. But if there is something to know,it’s good to know when your child is still young. There are steps you can taketo make sure your child is accommodated for, both at home and at school.”

“So there is something to know,” Jemma says, half aquestion.

“Before we get into the results, I just want the both of youto know the kind of strides that the field of psychology has taken in the lastdecade or so. We’re understanding different conditions more and more each year,diagnosis is becoming more accurate, treatment plans and accommodations aremore highly developed. There’s more to help families now than there ever hasbeen.”

“What are the results?” Fitz asks gruffly.

“Well,” Dr. Booth looks at her paper, a light smile on herface. “According to the tests we had Caroline do, as well as observation, and interviewswith the both of you, I’ve determined that Caroline does qualify for adiagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder.”

Jemma lets out a breath, looks towards Caroline, who doesn’tseem to be paying attention, and then towards Fitz, who’s eyebrows are drawntogether.

“There’s nothing wrong with my kid,” he bites out.

“I never said there was,” Dr. Booth assures him.

“You just said she has a disorder,” Fitz argues, facepinched in upset.

“Well, yes, that’s the official title. But not everyone seesit that way. Autism is classified as a disorder, but according to some schoolsof thought, it’s just one of the many kinds of neurodivergencies.”

“I guess—” Jemma starts, grabbing Fitz’s hand to rub herthumb along the side of his thumb, “we just don’t know much about it, is all. Imean, you hear things, but we aren’t really educated in the area. It’s inneither of our areas of expertise.”

“I can answer any questions you have, but let me explain alittle of the basics. Autism, or ASD, is classified as a developmentaldisability. It means that those with it—autistic people—hit developmentalcheckpoints at a different rate and sometimes in a different order than thegeneral population. It impacts aspects of communication such as spoken languageand body language, social skills, and will impact how autistic people processtheir environment and the world around them.”

“So it’s like …” Jemma risks a glance at Fitz, who’s notlooking at either of them. “It’s like having a different processing system inher brain.”

“Exactly,” Dr. Booth says. “Some autistic people compare itto being an Android phone in a world of iPhones. There’s nothing inherentlylesser about either system, they’re just different. They have different coding,run different apps, have different strengths and weaknesses. There are inherentchallenges in living in a world that wasn’t built for you, which is why it’s adisability, but every autistic person will have different ways of coping with andadapting to that. Some people can adapt in such a way that you wouldn’t be ableto tell the difference, and some people don’t.”

“So … you’re saying when she grows up, she might be—” Jemmawinces, thinking. “’Normal’, for lack of a better word.”

“No,” Dr. Booth says. “She’ll always be autistic, it’s notsomething you grow out of. Some people are just better at blending in. Forexample, most people wouldn’t guess I was autistic just from talking to me, butI am. And to be honest with you, I think it makes me even better at this jobthan most people are.”

“Because you can relate?” Jemma asks.

“That’s one reason. Autistic people are also highly attunedto the details of things, which is necessary when you’re a diagnostician. We’revery good at picking out patterns. There are certain advantages to having anautistic brain. Different strengths and weaknesses, like I said.”

Jemma squeezes Fitz’s hand, watching the side of his face.She can see he’s still obviously upset about something. “Doesn’t sound soscary,” Jemma says, trying to comfort them both.

“You know—” Fitz cuts himself off, glancing at the ceiling,then to Dr. Booth, then back up. “You know, where- where are you even gettingthis? She just- She seems like a normal kid. You- You say she’s different, butwhere are you getting that? How come you say my kid is so different? That she-she’s got different processing, or something.”

Dr. Booth watches him steadily, and finally he looks at her,then looks away. “You know, no one is saying this is a bad thing, Dr.Fitz-Simmons. There’s no need to be defensive about it. Having terms like thisto describe your child’s experiences can be a very helpful thing, in the longrun.”

“I think we would just be more comfortable if we understoodexactly where the diagnosis came from,” Jemma says, squeezing Fitz’s handagain.

“Of course,” Dr. Booth says, “I can explain how I came tothis conclusion. Well, I mentioned that autistic people process the worlddifferently. These differences in perception can affect our senses—manifestingin what we call sensory defensiveness and sensory seeking behaviors, of whichCaroline shows both.”

“Can you explain what that means?” Jemma asks, when Fitzdoesn’t say anything.

“We’ll start with sensory defensiveness. It means avoidanceof unpleasant sensory experiences, showing a level of sensitivity outside ofthe normal range. Caroline, for example, didn’t like when I turned the mainlight on in the testing room because it hurt her eyes, so we turned on a dimmerlamp instead. You both said that she startles easily and will cover her ears atloud noises, refuses to eat foods if she doesn’t like the texture, and is onlycomfortable in mild weather.”

“All that she gets from her dad, really,” Jemma says,smiling at him. “He’s always been sensitive to that kind of stuff.”

“Hey.”

“What? You have. You hate the cold, the heat, loud noises,certain foods—”

“Everyone has preferences,” Fitz defends. “Don’t seeanything wrong with that.”

“Let’s move on to the sensory seeking behaviors. Shedisplays what we call ‘stimming’—it’s short for self-stimulation. Autisticpeople do it to help themselves process their environment, both external andinternal. Stimming behaviors that Caroline displayed included hand flapping,hand twirling, bouncing, chewing on her lips and fingers—”

“Well, she gets that from me, too,” Fitz cuts her off. “I’vealways felt better when I’m in motion. She’s just twitchy, like me.”

“Okay,” Dr. Booth says, leveling him with a careful smile.“Her language skills are also a point of interest. She shows the capacity for avery advanced vocabulary, but rarely spoke when prompted. When she did, it wasjust to tell me about her favorite fish.”

“Oh yes,” Jemma says, beaming. “She does love fish. Allaquatic life, actually. She knows so much about it. It’s all she talks about,really.”

“And she showed an understanding of words far beyond her agelevel when she did, but for the most part she was silent. She obviouslyunderstood all my instructions, but didn’t respond to them.”

“I mean, she’s already above where I was,” Fitz says. “Ididn’t even speak ‘till I was six. But when I did, it was all about monkeys.She loves animals, just like me. She’s just focused.”

“We would call something like that a ‘special interest’,”Dr. Booth informs them. “It’s common for autistic people to want to focus on theirinterests when they’re by themselves, as well as a way of interacting withothers.”

“Was that all?” Jemma asks.

“Well, she also displayed what we refer to as ‘asymmetricalmotor skills’. Her fine motor skills, small movements, like her handwriting, werereally quite good. At or above the normal range. But gross motor skills, thingslike walking, controlling broad movement of her limbs when we played games,were much poorer.”

“Clumsiness runs in the family,” Fitz says. “I’m kind of aklutz. Good with my hands, though.”

“You know,” Dr. Booth starts cautiously, lacing her fingerson the table, turning to Fitz. “You seem to relate to an awful lot of thetraits your daughter displays, Dr. Fitz-Simmons.”

“W-Well—” Fitz scratches the back of his head, glancing atJemma. “I mean, she’s my kid. There’s going to be similarities.”

“Have you ever considered getting evaluated?”

Fitz just stares, Jemma glancing between them.

“What would that entail?” she asks.

“A similar process to what your daughter went through. A fewtests, an interview, some paperwork. It takes a few hours, when all is said anddone, over a day or two.”

“Sh-Should I?” Fitz asks, aimed at Jemma, mouth bobbing intoan open gape.

Jemma watches him carefully, then turns back to Dr. Booth.“What are the benefits?”

“Well, for adults especially, having an official word foryour experiences can be very relieving. It helps you to make sense of somethings that may have been in the dark in your life before. It can also help youfeel connected to other people like yourself—the autistic community is growingand thriving nowadays, and you can always reach out to other people who havesimilar experiences. And it opens avenues for accommodations in the workplaceas well, should you need them.”

She turns back to Fitz, giving a little shrug. “Is thatsomething you’re interested in?”

He looks away. “Maybe.”

“Well, I only evaluate children, but I can refer you to somevery good diagnosticians who evaluate adults as well. You don’t have to take meup on it if you don’t want to, but from my personal experience, I think it’ssomething worth looking in to.”

Fitz picks at the fabric of his pants. “Yeah, alright.I-I’ll think about it.”

“Our time is about up here, but before you go let me giveyou this—” She hands over a stapled stack of papers. “It’s Caroline’s officialdiagnosis results. You’ll find a full explanation of the results of each test,as well as her scores on the IQ portion of the test. That’s another thing tonote—her test scores vary highly over the different tests. Most people havemore concentrated scores, whereas Caroline scored within a range of 30thpercentile to the 99th. Also included in there is the next steps youcan follow: places to do more research, as well as the possible benefits ofthings like occupational therapy.”

“If we have any questions—” Jemma starts.

“Feel free to email me, and I’ll get back to you as soon asI can.”

Fitz takes the papers as he stands, bending and curling themwithin his grasp.

Jemma shakes Dr. Booth’s hand. “Thank you for your time, Dr.Booth, this has been very helpful.”

“I’m happy to do it. And can I just say, even though she wasa little scared when we started out, it’s obvious that Caroline is a very happykid. I think the two of you have done an excellent job of raising her so far,even without these resources.”

“Thank you,” Jemma says, “that means a lot.” She turns toCaroline, who’s still pressed against the window, looking like she hasn’t beenpaying attention at all. “Caroline, darling, we’re going now.”

Caroline jumps down from the seat, bounding up to Jemma inbouncing steps. She reaches up, and Jemma picks her up with a grunt and settlesher on her hip.

“Can fish be autistic?” Caroline asks, eyes wide, lookingaround the room.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were listening.” She glances atDr. Booth, smiling. “No, I don’t think they can be. I think it’s special tohumans.”

“Humans are fish,” Caroline says. “Everything’s fish.”

“Well, I don’t think that fish that live in the ocean can beautistic. Just people-fish.”

“What about dolphins? They’re mammals.”

“No,” Jemma laughs. “But they might have their own version.”

Caroline gives a noncommittalhum, then starts playing with Jemma’s hair.

Dr. Booth smiles at them. “Sosmart, that one. I think she takes after her parents.”

“Thank you again,” Jemma says,and then the three of them make their way out of the room.

As they’re walking out to thecar, Jemma watches Fitz, who hasn’t said anything.

“You’ll think about it?” sheasks.

“Yeah,” he replies. “I’ll thinkabout it.”  

-

A month later, Jemma is sittingin their living room looking over some files, as Caroline lays on the floorlooking at a marine biology textbook. She doesn’t know how to read most of thewords (though she recognizes the shape of most of the species names), but shelikes looking at the pictures and diagrams.              

The front door opens and closes,and Jemma looks up nervously.

“Fitz?” she calls.

“Just me,” is the response.

Her body relaxes, and she goes backto looking at the file as he takes off his shoes and hangs up his coat, thoughshe’s not really reading it. After a minute he joins them in the living room,plopping heavily onto the couch. There’s a set of papers clutched in one of hishands.

He’s quiet, and Jemma tries towait for him to speak, but after only a few seconds she can’t help herself.

“Well?” she asks. “What’d theysay?”

He uncurls the papers, and handsthem over. Jemma takes them, reading quickly.

Diagnosis: Autism SpectrumDisorder

She reads it again, then scanslower down on the page. There’s a lot about test results, results of theinterview, a lot of numbers that Jemma hasn’t started to unpack yet. But, thereit is. Plain as day.

“So,” she says.

“Yeah.”

“How are you feeling about it?”

He scoots down on the couch,tilting his head to rest against the back. He blows out a breath, fingerstwisting together on his stomach. “Relieved, I think.���

“Well … that’s good, isn’t it?This is a good thing.”

“It- It explains a lot of things.Things I’ve been confused about. Things that I didn’t necessarily have wordsfor, before. I just … I wish I’d known sooner.”

“Do you think it would’vehelped?”

“Yeah,” he admits softly. “I-SHIELD knew. I called Coulson and asked, it’s been on my file since theAcademy.”

Jemma’s brows furrow. “They knewand never told you?”

He shakes his head, eyes on theceiling. “Wasn’t in the policy to tell, I guess. And Coulson just assumed Iknew already.”

“Well, in any case,” Jemma says, “youknow now, and that’s what’s important. And, can I just say, I’m really proud ofyou for doing this. I know it was scary, but you went through with it anyway,and I think that was really brave. And I think this is going to be a goodthing, getting to learn more about yourself.”

“Yeah.” Fitz finally turns tolook at her. “Yeah, I think this is going to be a good thing, too.”

“And,” Jemma adds, “it’s justanother way that you can relate to our daughter.”

“That’s true,” Fitz says,smiling, and then scoots off the couch to settle on the floor in front ofCaroline. “Did you hear, monkey? Daddy’s autistic, too. We have the same kindof brain.”

“Shovelhead sharks clonethemselves,” Caroline replies, still looking at her book. “So they’d have thesame kind of brain, too.”

“That’s true.” Fitz nods. “Theywould. I didn’t clone myself, though. You can tell because you’re much cuterthan me.”

“She does have the curls,” Jemma points out.

“That she does.” He grins. “Oneof the many wonderful things she gets from me.”

“She gets some things from me,” Jemma quips, as he moves to sit back on thecouch next to her, grabbing up her hand. “Like her love of biology.”

“Ah- Love of animals,” Fitz shootsback, a teasing grin on his face. “Still from me.”

“I like animals.”

“You like dissecting them, Jem,that’s different.”

“Fine. What about her love oftidiness? That definitely comes from me.”

“Well … I do keep my lab verytidy. But she also keeps her room clean, which I do not, so sure, I’ll give youthat one.”

Jemma beams. “Hah. I knew therewas something.”

Fitz smiles, but eventually itdrops. “Do you … Do you think this is gonna change anything?”

Jemma tilts her head, peering athim. “Like what?”

“Dunno,” Fitz mumbles.

“I don’t think it’ll changeanything unless you want them to change.”

“If I do … d’you think that’sbad?”

“No,” Jemma assures him. “How youthink of yourself is going through a change, I don’t think it’s bad if you wantother things to change along with it. If anything, it might change how open youare with certain things about yourself. And how you think those things deserveto be treated.”

“Caroline … She’ll have names forall these things. She’ll understand it. Understand herself, better than I did.”

“Yes, she will.”

“And- And I’m glad we know, now.So we can give her the best life she can have.”

Jemma raises their conjoinedhands to press a kiss to the back of his. “You’re already a great dad, Fitz. You’realready giving her an amazing life. But yes, this will make things easier, nowthat we know.”

Fitz ducks his head, smiling, andthen turns to Caroline. “Hey, monkey, do you want to watch Finding Nemo? Youcan tell us all the species names when they come on screen.”

Caroline immediately jumps up,her hands flapping at her sides. “Yes, yes, yes!”

Fitz gets up to put in the DVD,and on his way back scoops Caroline off the floor and plops her onto his lap ashe settles back onto the couch. She presses back against him, picking up hishand so she can play with his fingers as she watches. Jemma leans against hisside, resting one hand on his leg.

“Amphiprion ocellaris,”Caroline says as the movie starts.

Fitz presses a kiss againsther hair. “Good job, monkey. Good job.”

[deathstickz]

Day 8: Fighting 2 – Morality What do they think about fighting/violence as a solution to problems? What was the first time they killed someone? What fight do they have nightmares about? Do they prefer to kill their enemies or do they try and show mercy? Do they feel proud of their kills or regret them? Day 9: Social Status What is your OC’s social status? Were they born into their status or did they earn it? What sort of education did they receive? How do they interact with people from a higher social class? From a lower class? Do they consider all equal or no? What does their status mean in the Empire and/or in the Republic? Day 10: Politics Let’s talk politics. Are they solidly on the side of the Republic or the Sith Empire or are they neutral? What are your character’s political opinions? (Ideas for topics: slavery, the Jedi, the Sith, the Outer Rims, the Dark Council, the Republic Senate, etc.) What issues do they prioritize, and what issues do they ignore? Do they desire to do something to change politics or do they not bother? Do they trust their political leaders?

Making up for a gap by doing several-- BUT It's late and I'm tired, and I'm tired of crashing this post because it's been like 4 attempts I tried to make this, so this will be brief.

Ardralios: 8: Fighting/violence-- It isn't the last thing on his list, but it's not near the top. He's going to aim for whatever solves the problems most efficiently. He's grown very numb to the idea of killing, he's been in war before. It doesn't mean he's bloodthirsty, it's just a part of the life he leads and the burden of killing is one he's willing to shoulder-- there is no room for regrets, although he might have a few. A fight he has nightmares about? Fighting sith. Not only can they find ways to break him, but they can draw out the suffering. He's no stranger to being on the receiving side of their wrath. Not to mention, fighting sith is against his conditioning, so it’s an absolute mental strain. Another fight he worries about is confronting his parents if he ever crosses them on a battlefield against the Republic. There's a lot of bitter bad blood between them. 9: Social status-- His mom was pretty high class an his dad was military. He was not left wanting as a child, at least before the Empire was involved with his family's life. All that social status was lost when joining the Empire, but that was a sacrifice that he found worth it. He got top tier training and upbringing in the Empire, even if he was no longer of high social status. Because of his mix of experience with classes, from undercover work most of all, it's something he grew to not care about. It's all about how a person carries themself. With both high and lower classes, he always acts overly sophisticated and his usual polite, but blunt self. His uppity Imperial behavior still leaves him out of touch with the lower classes. 10: Politics-- Ard is hopelessly Imperial. He supports anything that would benefit the Empire. It's a maddening amount of trust he gives his leaders. He can be quite an apologist to cruel BS that the Empire does. This unfortunately means that he would not argue against policies like slavery, invasions, and war.

Yahno: 8: Fighting/violence-- First time he killed someone was actually a dispute with a belligerent crewmate in his pirate days. Having to fight to keep whatever he owned became a nature to him that he hasn't abandoned even to the present. He isn't merciless and he does feel regret when his aggressive nature causes him to lash out at people he actually does like. 9: Social Status-- while rumored his family was high class, which would explain some of his level of knowledge (education on technology and mechanics, being able to speak many languages, has an odd knowledge of random things common among intelligentsia), Yahno is mostly just a garbage criminal from a garbage crew from some bullshit sector. He's bounced around gangs and pirates, so if he has any social class in his background, it'd be a criminal one. He is in no place to judge people on their class, so he doesn’t. 10: Politics-- Yahno is absolutely neutral on politics. He's more self serving than anything, or his allegiance is to whoever gives him more goodies. His relationship and involvement with the Empire is by both force and convenience, so he is separates himself from their politics. However, he has a hatred of oppressive forces-- he is disgusted with the likes of slavery, manipulative politicians, and abuse of power. Nalel: 8: Fighting-- she isn't violent. While she will defend herself, it's nothing beyond that. However, she's alright if others are hurt or killed on her behalf. She just doesn't want to be the one doing it. As of right now, she hasn't been thrown into a position where she was forced to choose to end someone's life or not. 9: Social status: Her family are merchants, so Nal wasn't exactly impoverished. She still made company with people who were low class and developed a very anti-high class attitude. There is a certain degree of envy she has against the high class and she finds them often snobby. 10: Politics: In a sense, she's fairly anti-establishment, but it depends on who is in power. She doesn't have full understandings of politics of either faction. However, stances she would have is completely on freedom; she doesn't support slavery, she hates overcontrolling governments, and she will oppose people who try to tell her what to do.

Blank: 8: Fighting- he doesn't personally fight, but he's absolutely pragmatic. It doesn't matter how an enemy is neutralized so long as they will never be able to raise a fist against the Empire again. 9: Social Status: Good parentage and upbringing as a part of his origins in eugenics, he is had a high class upbringing. Raised as if he were superior, he had a habit of looking down on people of lower classes and had an arrogant attitude. Presently, however, he had all of his social status stripped along with his identity because he turned out to be an embarassment. He doesn't truly remember what it was like to be high class anymore. Social status has no meaning to him anymore. 10: Politics: He's pro imperial. It's p much just like Ard here, despite how benign and harmless Blank is.

[dhgfashe]

           Through their training, scientists are equipped with what Sagan calls a “baloney detection kit” — a set of cognitive tools and techniques that fortify the mind against penetration by falsehoods:    

                   The kit is brought out as a matter of course whenever new ideas are offered for consideration. If the new idea survives examination by the tools in our kit, we grant it warm, although tentative, acceptance. If you’re so inclined, if you don’t want to buy baloney even when it’s reassuring to do so, there are precautions that can be taken; there’s a tried-and-true, consumer-tested method.            

           But the kit, Sagan argues, isn’t merely a tool of science — rather, it contains invaluable tools of healthy skepticism that apply just as elegantly, and just as necessarily, to everyday life. By adopting the kit, we can all shield ourselves against clueless guile and deliberate manipulation. Sagan shares nine of these tools:    

Wherever possible there must be independent confirmation of the “facts.”

Encourage substantive debate on the evidence by knowledgeable proponents of all points of view.

Arguments from authority carry little weight — “authorities” have made mistakes in the past. They will do so again in the future. Perhaps a better way to say it is that in science there are no authorities; at most, there are experts.

Spin more than one hypothesis. If there’s something to be explained, think of all the different ways in which it could be explained. Then think of tests by which you might systematically disprove each of the alternatives. What survives, the hypothesis that resists disproof in this Darwinian selection among “multiple working hypotheses,” has a much better chance of being the right answer than if you had simply run with the first idea that caught your fancy.

Try not to get overly attached to a hypothesis just because it’s yours. It’s only a way station in the pursuit of knowledge. Ask yourself why you like the idea. Compare it fairly with the alternatives. See if you can find reasons for rejecting it. If you don’t, others will.

Quantify. If whatever it is you’re explaining has some measure, some numerical quantity attached to it, you’ll be much better able to discriminate among competing hypotheses. What is vague and qualitative is open to many explanations. Of course there are truths to be sought in the many qualitative issues we are obliged to confront, but finding them is more challenging.

If there’s a chain of argument, every link in the chain must work (including the premise) — not just most of them.

Occam’s Razor. This convenient rule-of-thumb urges us when faced with two hypotheses that explain the data equally well to choose the simpler.

Always ask whether the hypothesis can be, at least in principle, falsified. Propositions that are untestable, unfalsifiable are not worth much. Consider the grand idea that our Universe and everything in it is just an elementary particle — an electron, say — in a much bigger Cosmos. But if we can never acquire information from outside our Universe, is not the idea incapable of disproof? You must be able to check assertions out. Inveterate skeptics must be given the chance to follow your reasoning, to duplicate your experiments and see if they get the same result.

           Just as important as learning these helpful tools, however, is unlearning and avoiding the most common pitfalls of common sense. Reminding us of where society is most vulnerable to those, Sagan writes:    

                   In addition to teaching us what to do when evaluating a claim to knowledge, any good baloney detection kit must also teach us what not to do. It helps us recognize the most common and perilous fallacies of logic and rhetoric. Many good examples can be found in religion and politics, because their practitioners are so often obliged to justify two contradictory propositions.            

           He admonishes against the twenty most common and perilous ones — many rooted in our chronic discomfort with ambiguity — with examples of each in action:    

ad hominem — Latin for “to the man,” attacking the arguer and not the argument (e.g., The Reverend Dr. Smith is a known Biblical fundamentalist, so her objections to evolution need not be taken seriously)

argument from authority (e.g., President Richard Nixon should be re-elected because he has a secret plan to end the war in Southeast Asia — but because it was secret, there was no way for the electorate to evaluate it on its merits; the argument amounted to trusting him because he was President: a mistake, as it turned out)

argument from adverse consequences (e.g., A God meting out punishment and reward must exist, because if He didn’t, society would be much more lawless and dangerous — perhaps even ungovernable. Or: The defendant in a widely publicized murder trial must be found guilty; otherwise, it will be an encouragement for other men to murder their wives)

appeal to ignorance — the claim that whatever has not been proved false must be true, and vice versa (e.g., There is no compelling evidence that UFOs are not visiting the Earth; therefore UFOs exist — and there is intelligent life elsewhere in the Universe. Or: There may be seventy kazillion other worlds, but not one is known to have the moral advancement of the Earth, so we’re still central to the Universe.) This impatience with ambiguity can be criticized in the phrase: absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

special pleading, often to rescue a proposition in deep rhetorical trouble (e.g., How can a merciful God condemn future generations to torment because, against orders, one woman induced one man to eat an apple? Special plead: you don’t understand the subtle Doctrine of Free Will. Or: How can there be an equally godlike Father, Son, and Holy Ghost in the same Person? Special plead: You don’t understand the Divine Mystery of the Trinity. Or: How could God permit the followers of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam — each in their own way enjoined to heroic measures of loving kindness and compassion — to have perpetrated so much cruelty for so long? Special plead: You don’t understand Free Will again. And anyway, God moves in mysterious ways.)

begging the question, also called assuming the answer (e.g., We must institute the death penalty to discourage violent crime. But does the violent crime rate in fact fall when the death penalty is imposed? Or: The stock market fell yesterday because of a technical adjustment and profit-taking by investors — but is there any independent evidence for the causal role of “adjustment” and profit-taking; have we learned anything at all from this purported explanation?)

observational selection, also called the enumeration of favorable circumstances, or as the philosopher Francis Bacon described it, counting the hits and forgetting the misses (e.g., A state boasts of the Presidents it has produced, but is silent on its serial killers)

statistics of small numbers — a close relative of observational selection (e.g., “They say 1 out of every 5 people is Chinese. How is this possible? I know hundreds of people, and none of them is Chinese. Yours truly.” Or: “I’ve thrown three sevens in a row. Tonight I can’t lose.”)

misunderstanding of the nature of statistics (e.g., President Dwight Eisenhower expressing astonishment and alarm on discovering that fully half of all Americans have below average intelligence);

inconsistency (e.g., Prudently plan for the worst of which a potential military adversary is capable, but thriftily ignore scientific projections on environmental dangers because they’re not “proved.” Or: Attribute the declining life expectancy in the former Soviet Union to the failures of communism many years ago, but never attribute the high infant mortality rate in the United States (now highest of the major industrial nations) to the failures of capitalism. Or: Consider it reasonable for the Universe to continue to exist forever into the future, but judge absurd the possibility that it has infinite duration into the past);

non sequitur — Latin for “It doesn’t follow” (e.g., Our nation will prevail because God is great. But nearly every nation pretends this to be true; the German formulation was “Gott mit uns”). Often those falling into the non sequitur fallacy have simply failed to recognize alternative possibilities;

post hoc, ergo propter hoc — Latin for “It happened after, so it was caused by” (e.g., Jaime Cardinal Sin, Archbishop of Manila: “I know of … a 26-year-old who looks 60 because she takes [contraceptive] pills.” Or: Before women got the vote, there were no nuclear weapons)

meaningless question (e.g., What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object? But if there is such a thing as an irresistible force there can be no immovable objects, and vice versa)

excluded middle, or false dichotomy — considering only the two extremes in a continuum of intermediate possibilities (e.g., “Sure, take his side; my husband’s perfect; I’m always wrong.” Or: “Either you love your country or you hate it.” Or: “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem”)

short-term vs. long-term — a subset of the excluded middle, but so important I’ve pulled it out for special attention (e.g., We can’t afford programs to feed malnourished children and educate pre-school kids. We need to urgently deal with crime on the streets. Or: Why explore space or pursue fundamental science when we have so huge a budget deficit?);

slippery slope, related to excluded middle (e.g., If we allow abortion in the first weeks of pregnancy, it will be impossible to prevent the killing of a full-term infant. Or, conversely: If the state prohibits abortion even in the ninth month, it will soon be telling us what to do with our bodies around the time of conception);

confusion of correlation and causation (e.g., A survey shows that more college graduates are homosexual than those with lesser education; therefore education makes people gay. Or: Andean earthquakes are correlated with closest approaches of the planet Uranus; therefore — despite the absence of any such correlation for the nearer, more massive planet Jupiter — the latter causes the former)

straw man — caricaturing a position to make it easier to attack (e.g., Scientists suppose that living things simply fell together by chance — a formulation that willfully ignores the central Darwinian insight, that Nature ratchets up by saving what works and discarding what doesn’t. Or — this is also a short-term/long-term fallacy — environmentalists care more for snail darters and spotted owls than they do for people)

suppressed evidence, or half-truths (e.g., An amazingly accurate and widely quoted “prophecy” of the assassination attempt on President Reagan is shown on television; but — an important detail — was it recorded before or after the event? Or: These government abuses demand revolution, even if you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs. Yes, but is this likely to be a revolution in which far more people are killed than under the previous regime? What does the experience of other revolutions suggest? Are all revolutions against oppressive regimes desirable and in the interests of the people?)

weasel words (e.g., The separation of powers of the U.S. Constitution specifies that the United States may not conduct a war without a declaration by Congress. On the other hand, Presidents are given control of foreign policy and the conduct of wars, which are potentially powerful tools for getting themselves re-elected. Presidents of either political party may therefore be tempted to arrange wars while waving the flag and calling the wars something else — “police actions,” “armed incursions,” “protective reaction strikes,” “pacification,” “safeguarding American interests,” and a wide variety of “operations,” such as “Operation Just Cause.” Euphemisms for war are one of a broad class of reinventions of language for political purposes. Talleyrand said, “An important art of politicians is to find new names for institutions which under old names have become odious to the public”)

           Sagan ends the chapter with a necessary disclaimer:    

                   Like all tools, the baloney detection kit can be misused, applied out of context, or even employed as a rote alternative to thinking. But applied judiciously, it can make all the difference in the world — not least in evaluating our own arguments before we present them to others.