#I hate and love watch this scene I love the robot going into wild mode and i hate the others trying to prevent It

[celibibratty]

today we rewatched this big hero(since now i/we don't have problem with it anymore), i'll have to admit this hiro is kinda of……a cutie(the part where the dudes are in the island and has a pigeon that scared them, it's cute to notice that this hiro go hide behind this baymax, that was cute), but i don't see him in that way, he is too boyish for my taste(this dude is kirito-kun, he has almost 2 or more suitors in the series, no way, and i know the things that can invent too), i don't see why people see daniel on him, he doesn't remind me of daniel(maybe because he sounds more mature than daniel to me), and i can't take seriously in "brazillian portuguese" his voice is also the kon voice(from bleach)(which by the way i love this Voice), when people like this thing as a fandom thing they neglect too much the robot, i find the relationship between this hiro and this baymax way more interesting, if i would choose a pairing with this hiro, i would like him with this baymax(would be cute/cool, a boy with his big badass robot(this baymax is more badass)), okay that it wouldn't be a problematic incest that people want, but would be- a- robotic- love, ha-ha, but i just suggesting, i don't think about that when i see the movie,……, it makes me a little melancholic watch this movie, i remember when i watched on this exactly dvd in 2014 and me crying as hell because of the robot death, i used to listen to the main song(nowadays i find the song a little bit slow for my taste),…….., i kinda like this movie, its not that movie that i can watch hundreds of times, but i like it

[keith-the-hoe]

The Glimmer Hoes Master Plan| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: [X]

Episode Two: [X]

Episode Three: American Tour

Episode Four: [X]

Episode Five: [X]

Warnings:

This story will contain violence, sex scenes and a shit ton of foul language. It may also cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and fall into a state of confusion. Do not read if you are under the age of 16. Read at your own risk. Or Keef will eat your grandma.

Cast:

Mick Jagger

Keith Richards

Charlie Watts

Ronnie Wood

Bill Wyman

----------------

After the huge massacre in California, The Rolling Stones were on the run again. Keef was super ugly and devastated from his buddy, Mick, being brutally killed by the sus one. Who was going to sing for them? Charlie and Bill were sitting in the back seat with Mick's body next to them. Their van had broke down when they were out camping in the desert. So they elected Keef to push the van to the nearest town.

"Ah jeez..... Now who is going to be our whore front man?" Keef asked while he struggled to push the van over a speed bump.

"You do it" Billl said as he keep trying to get the body from touching him.

The Rolling Stones stopped by a mechanic shop that was also a coffee shop. California was burning hot. The sun was shining down on Keef so he took his clothes off. Bill and Charlie stepped out of the van and stood in front of the coffee shop.

"Hmm.... Some coffee wouldn't be so bad right now." Bill said to Charlie.

The only problem was, they didn't have any money on them. But Keef did so this whole sentence doesn't work at all. He took out a bunch of crumbled up dollar bills from his underpants. Penis money was what he always called it in case of emergencies. Bill didn't want to touch it so he told him to hold onto it. They walked into the coffee shop. There was no one in there but some weird guy with a big nose reading a news paper. They all sat down at the counter and waited for someone to attend them. A lady with a cheese ball outfit went up to them to take their order. Keef really wanted bananas. Bill and Charlie just ordered eggs and bacon like normies do at coffee shops. Keef kept spinning around his stool and noticed that the big nose whore was looking at them. He got sus so he just walked in the bathroom to take a piss. Or at least that what he made big nose whore think. Keef walked over to the mechanic shop to check on their van. Then he remembered that he left Mick in there. He went into a panic. Bill and Charlie had already taken him out of the van but didn't tell him. Keef searched the van but didn't see him in there. Charlie went outside to see what kind of shenanigans he's up to this time. Keef turned into a mad monkey.

"Jesus! Calm down you fooking dumb fuck of a monkey!" Charlie said. "If you're looking for whore Mick, we hid him behind the dumpster until the van gets fixed."

Keef just stared at him. He felt better now that he knew that his side hoe was okay. He walked around the mechanic shop and saw a bunch of car parts. He got a very good idea. He grabbed the parts, some oil cans, and his guitars. Told ya they might come in handy for later. Charlie stood there in confusion watching Keef once again do something stupid.

"Be hold!!" Keef yelled.

Charlie rolled his eyes at him. He seriously wondered why he's even in a shitty ass band with a very stupid monkey. Keith removed the tarp from his very fantastic creation.

"Wot in the actual fuck did you just make?" Charlie asked sounding annoyed.

Keef chuckled. "You dummy! It's Mick!" He said as he leaned on it only to knock it over. He has built a cyborg Mick as a replacement for the real Mick. Charlie was not amused. Bill came out of the coffee shop with the big nose whore holding a knife to his neck. He was pretty calm about it. Charlie panicked.

"Woah woah! Hey! easy there cowboy! Put the knife down! We can talk this through!" Keef said as he slowly walked up to them.

Charlie was examining the piece of junk. He was trying to figure out how it worked. Cyborg Mick smacked him hard in the head and did Jagger moves.

"Wot is that?" Bill asked as big nose whore held the knife closer to his neck. He remained calm.

Keef explained since they no longer had the real Mick, they could use a artificial one. He programmed it to be exactly like Mick. He even gave him a dick since Mick LOVES to be screwing around with random ass hoes. Charlie cut him off by yelling at him that Bill is being held hostage.

"Oh.... right.... that....." Keef said with a nervous chuckle.

He slowly approached them but big nose whore kept walking away. Keef threw a punch only to get his arm sliced by the knife.

"Owie! Damn! I need this arm to play guitar!! Son of a bitch!" He yelled as he threw a rock at Charlie.

"You play guitar?" Big Nose Whore asked. Bill used the opportunity to run to Charlie and jumped in his arms. Just imagine that though lol. Keef looked at them both confused but he ignored them. Cyborg Mick went up to Keef and big nose whore.

"Greetings, I am Mick Jagger, yes this Monkey whore plays guitar." He said.

Big Nose Whore put his knife away and began to laugh his ass off.

"Well why didn't you say so!? Bitch I play guitar as well!" He said.

Bill and Charlie rolled their eyes. Just what they needed, another dumbass. The van was up and running again. The Rolling Stones were relieved to finally have a working vehicle. Keef and big nose whore became besties and offered to give him a ride. The only thing he wanted to ride was- okay don't be nasty. He accepted the offer and hopped in the van. He sat next to Bill who was already annoyed by his presence. Cyborg Mick kept smacking Charlie in the head.

"Jesus! Keith get your damn sex robot under control!" He yelled.

Keith scratched his head trying to figure out why Cyborg Mick did that. He figured that he set it to fightey mode instead of normal Mick mode. He turned the switch which got Keith's balls kicked. He screamed in pain and Big Nose Whore just laughed at him. Charlie seriously wondered how he even ended up being stuck with a bunch of idiots. Bill also wondered the same thing. They also later learned that Big Nose Whore's name is Ronnie because of course it was. They also learned that he bites people. They had to find that one out the hard way. Keith began to discuss how they're going to be touring with a broken robot and a missing rhythm guitarist. Ronnie got a splendid idea. He drank orange juice. So really he didn't have a splendid idea. I know how to grammar properly.

"Assholes I can be your rhythm guitarist." He suggested.

Charlie said no. He was not about to deal with another dumbass that was going to kill his bestie. He just wanted to go home. Cyborg Mick yelled at Charlie to shut up and he doesn't get to make the decisions around here. A tear ran down his face. Cyborg Mick accepted Ronnie to be a part of the band.

"Sweet! So where are we headed?" He said with a wide smile.

Cyborg Mick started doing weird beeping sounds. Keef programmed him to be their GPS which he didn't even know he could do. They got directions to a small motel near a small town in San Francisco. They didn't question it and drove there.

"Ooooh motels are quite fun, they have all sorts of things to do there." Ronnie explained.

"I hate motels." Bill replied as he lit a cigarette.

"Oh shut it you! You love going there to screw every single girl you lay eyes on!" Keef yelled.

"I have a wife." Charlie said.

"Why screw girls when we can screw each other!" Ronnie replied.

The whole van turned into an argument about fucking people. Cyborg Mick just kept driving without saying a single work to them. He was super horny though, just like the real Mick. Only thing is, this one actually has a dick, unlike the real Mick. They parked in front of the lobby. The van went silent. The Rolling Stones all slowly looked at each other. Who was going to go in there and ask for rooms?

"Alright....." Keef said in a low voice. "In the count of three...... One-"

They all touch their noses as they yelled "NOT IT" even though Keith wasn't even at three. That meant that he had to go in there and ask for rooms.

"Ugh! Son of a bitch! Why do I have to do everything!? Jesus you all don't work for shit! The only thing you all are able to do is be a bunch of whores!" Keith said as he stepped out of the van. Then there was another problem. Who was going to share rooms? Bill and Charlie looked at each other. Guess they're sharing rooms. Keith stood in front of the lobby as the secretary checked for any available rooms. Turns out there was one room with a king sized bed and one with two singles. Keith sighed deeply and paid without any further questions. He walked over to the van to tell them about the rooms. Ronnie claimed the room with two singles. Cyborg Mick also claimed that room. That left with Bill, Charlie and Keith with the room with a king sized bed. This was going to be an awkward night. Bill and Charlie told Keith to fuck off. They didn't want a monkey to be sleeping in the same bed as them. Cyborg Mick put his arm around Keith.

"Me and you can share beds...." He said seductively.

Keith actually didn't mind sleeping in the same bed with Mick. He's his buddy and he's known him since they were in nappies. So he agreed to doing so. Bill hates them both so much that he is planning on doing some murdering. The Rolling Stones went to their room. Cyborg Mick went a little overboard and took Keith to bed with him. Ronnie just stood there eating Doritos that he found in the bathroom. Just another normal day for him.

"Oooh! Make sure to not scratch him up a bit with all of those metal bolts in there....." Ronnie suggested.

Keith just glared at him but then he got a stupendous idea. He removed his clothes. Ronnie was completely lost and wondered why he just did that. Cyborg Mick got turned on by such view.

"Wow! The Rolling Stones really are a wild band! I'm so glad I am a part of it!" Ronnie yelled in excitement. He looked around the room. There were a bunch of used rubbers stuck on them. Beautiful decorating. Cyborg Mick stretched his arm out and pulled Ronnie into bed. They all laid on top of each other and got really funky. Bill and Charlie, who were in a room over, were sitting on the bed watching the telly. Strange noises were coming from the room that Keith was staying in. Bill shook his head in disappointment.

"We haven't even been here for 2 seconds and they're already screwing around? Jesus can there be a-" Bill said as Charlie cut him off with a smack. Bill is a big hoe so the things he is complaining about are extremely irrelevant so he cannot be talking and that is on period 💅. They heard a loud boom outside where the pool was. Charlie was certain that Keith, Mick and Ronnie were up to no good so he went out to check. He saw a telly on the first floor. Turns out Led Zeppelin were also staying in those motels and were the ones who threw the telly out their window. Charlie hated them. He went back inside of his room only to see a naked Bill laying in bed with a bunch of rose petals and candles around him. He was genuinely confused.

"Hey babe..... Why don't you come over here and have some fun eh?" Bill said in a low voice.

Charlie just wanted to go home because according to him, he is happier there then when he is with the stones. Haha I'm using his words against him. He sighed and just went with the flow because Yolo. They really got into it up until they heard screaming from the other room. Bill and Charlie looked at each other.

"Oh wow, they seem to be having a very splendid and wild time...." Bill said.

Charlie rolled his eyes and decided to just ignore them. Keith bursted into the room. He was covered in blood. Bill and Charlie just stared at him with a scared look.

"I-its not wot it looks like....." Bill said with an awkward chuckle.

Keith was breathing heavily and couldn't gather his words. He just began to babble and making hand gestures and so on and so forth.

"Jesus! Use your words bitch!" Charlie yelled.

Keith finally calmed down. "That fucking robot piece of junk just tried to kill me!" He yelled.

Charlie looked at him from head to toe. He was seriously done with The Rolling Stones. He didn't even want to know why he was naked and covered in blood. Ronnie came running in also naked and covered in blood. Charlie just sighed in disappointment. Why is he in a band full of dumbasses.

"Why are you both naked and covered in blood?" Bill asked as he lit a cigarette.

Turns out Cyborg Mick was set in fightey mode instead of sexy time mode and had tried to kill them both by using chainsaws and cheeseballs. He managed to injure Ronnie which caused a whole bunch of blood splattering meaning that he is slowly dying. Charlie had to act fast because clearly these idiots are not going to do so. They all put their clothes back on but Keith couldn't find his pants. Too bad he deserves it. The Rolling Stones jumped in the van that had been vandalized by Led Zeppelin.

"Ughh those fucking hippie bastards!" Charlie yelled as he set the van to drive. Keith held Ronnie's hand. He didn't want to lose him. He has only known him for 5 hours. Ronnie didn't seem to have a problem about the fact that he got attacked by a Mick robot. He just kept smiling and bullied Charlie for having a unibrow.

[tfw-no-tennis]

[drumming] BEAST WARRRS

wow, me and ruth watching MORE transformers stuff?? its more likely than you think

sooo yeah we started watching beast wars. which seems like the logical next step after reading the comics and watching tfa, tfp, (some of) g1, cyberverse, even the live action movies back in the day...

however ruth and I have always ruthlessly bullied beast wars bc of how outdated the cgi looks, stating that no matter how good everyone says it is, we can never watch it bc its so ugly 

we watched a couple clips, even, including the fight scene from ep2 which is SO funny I'm sorry and we were like ‘yea we cant watch this lol’ BUT LO AND BEHOLD...HERE WE ARE....

so yah this was probably inevitable but yea, ill probably write a few of these post just giving my scattered thoughts

so! so far we’ve watched like 8 eps and I gotta say....I like it a lot so far

as ruth says, ‘it feels like an actual show’ (as opposed to g1 which imo feels more like an extended-toy-commercial-slash-acid-trip)

like, even in the first couple eps, its clear there's actual plot and characters

the bad cgi is admittedly distracting at time, similar to the animation errors in g1 

in terms of the plot, I find it to be really interesting - I like the explanations for the beast forms w/the energon making their robot forms short out

the premise is like, so wild to me, in a meta sense - like, this was basically the followup to g1 (ignoring g2, and all the japanese stuff like headmasters and victory), and its SO wildly different than g1 - premise-wise, beast wars feels like something you'd get 20 years down the line in the franchise when they're trying to go at the source material from a new, fresh angle

instead its the follow-up to g1, bc I guess being able to sell toys that transform into animals rather than cars is a good market 

oh man is this show 90s. like, it came out in ‘96, so obviously its gonna be 90s, but sometimes it just slaps you in the face w/it 

like...the music. lmao like the guitar riffs that play sometimes are so hilariously 90s that I feel myself regressing into an infant (the state I was in irl during the 90s)

plus the dialogue...like half of what cheetor says is just. so very 90s. like Cool Epic Teenz 90s sometimes, which is hilarious and out of date now 

speaking of cheetor I love my boy. I already love him from cyberverse but this is og cheetor and I love him here too. he;s just a great kid appeal yellow character and I luv him. he has freckles that's soooo cuteee my boiiii

as for the characters in general...I like how they all have pretty solid characterizations but also undergo character development. and I like how we don't get all too much exposition about them/their backstories so we get to learn things as we go along 

optimus primal is cool, and interesting when compared to other optimuses (optimii?)...he seems like a Leader™, but he’s kinda frustrated/done with this shit, especially compared to like, g1 op, who was very patient, and tfa op, who felt very young. this op feels very experienced but also doesn't always wanna be here

who else is there...rhinox! he is great, he seems like the only one w/a brain cell. he seems v levelheaded and cool, I like him a lot. he hasn't gotten much spotlight but I'm interested to see what he’ll do. I like his voice

rattrap omg...ruth hates him bc he’s annoying which, fair, but I like him bc he’s hilarious. he’s a rat from new jersey, and joisey rats are just Like That okay

dinobot...omg...I love him. he’s just dramatic and gay. and also a dinosaur. I think its cool that he has a SWORD bc everyone else has guns (kinda boring), and also he has laser eyes. he is cool and interesting and also he and optimus are dating tyvm 

as for the predacons...beast wars megatron oh my goddd....I love him so much he’s SO entertaining lmao...yesssssss....he’s so Shakespearian? idek how else to describe it. he’s very eloquent and he really feels like a high-class play actor who could also rip your face off if he wanted to. he says ‘yessssss’ SO much its so funny. he’s very like, over the top and kinda hammy, but in a completely different way than g1 megs, who could be described similarly but is a very different vibe 

bw megatron is basically the polar opposite of tfp megatron

as for the rest of the predacons, we haven't gotten as much character stuff for them but I'm interested in them for sure

tarantulas.....I wanna see more of him, he’s just so entertaining to me idk. gay little spider man

scorponok omfg he’s such a loser in this hvbajkdsfbwkhdsf I cant get over how completely lame and unthreatening he is lmaoooo he’s such a lil bitch. I could cough on him and he’d explode probably. hilarious

terrorsaur is like the starscream of this show from what I can tell so far since he’s already tried to take over the predacons twice. ruth and I hate the weird bird dinosaur noises he makes. actually we hate when any of the characters make animal noises honestly hbvkjdnsfaksl

waspinator sure is here. he hasn't done much but he’s definitely present! and makes some weird terrible bug noises

blackarachnia just got here and then immediately left, which is hilarious. she saw everyone fighting and was like ‘actually fuck this’ and bounced, which is super valid 

ok I gotta talk abt the animation again vhbahkjsdfhbkjsf its...really painful...I mean it looks great for being 1996, but since its cgi it does NOT hold up at all (compared to 2d animation, which tends to hold up better - tho low-budget stuff like g1 doesn't hold up great, but it looks bad in a much different way than bad old cgi does)

like, I mentioned it above but that fight scene in ep2...there are just so many moments that weren't supposed to be funny but were hilarious due to the animation. like when the two sides run at each other and clash, when they hit each other half of them just fly offscreen like plastic toys vbahsudfbajskdf its SO visually hilarious I rewound it to watch it again lmao 

also anytime they do closeups I cringe so hard, especially on optimus, he just looks so plastic...in general the beast modes looks pretty janky, like cheetors limbs (mostly around the shoulders/hips) look weird af...I feel like rattraps beast mode looks the least wack. beast mode tarantulas also looks weird as hell but I think that's partially bc his colors are so garish lmao

I'm soooo excited to see the stuff that connects beast wars to g1, I know a few things about how its connected thanks to my reading of the g1 tfwiki pages, and I cant wait to see it all unfold

I'm really not spoiled for much, surprisingly...I might know a couple character deaths, and a few other things, but for the most part I have no clue what's going to happen which is really cool actually. I'm excited to see things!!!

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Cyberverse Season 2 episode 3 & 4 & 5 watch!

This is going to be a doozy, I can feel it already

Episode 3

YO IT’S WHEELJACK!!! Everyone’s fun weird wild uncle!!

“See, it works great!” *CRASH*

Man it’d be so sweet if Brainstorm was in Cyberverse, he and Wheeljack would get along so well (or they’d absolutely hate each other and they’d be rivals lol. One or the other)

Optimus is so supportive, aww

THE OPENING IS STILL SO GOOD AHHHHH

RATCHET!!! RATCHET!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH

Bumblebee: Hey I saw a weird cat on the moon

THE AZTEC ASTRONAUTS???? 

A BANANA, TELETRAN PLZ

HOT ROD!!! MY BABY

PROWL!!!!

DEADLOCK!!!!

CYBERVERSE YOU GOTTA STOP HAVING CHARACTERS I LOVE POP UP EVER 3 SECONDS IM GONNA DIE

ARCEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

CYBERVERSE WHAT DID I JUST SAY IM GONNA DIE!!! I DONT CARE IF THEY ONLY GET ONE LINE IM GRINNING SO WIDE MY FACE HURTS

GOSH I LOVE CYBERVERSE

ARCEE AND A GIRAFFE 

SHE TOOK SELFIES WITH ALL SORTS OF ANIMALS SHE’S SO CUTE!!!! I LOVE YOU ARCEE

GRIMLOCK NO DONT DRINK THAT

BUMBLEBEE IS SO CUTE...I love his VA so much, he’s so cute, Bumblebee sounds so sweet

LMAO GET FRICKIN REKT PROWL

Way to scratch up the Ark Grimlock

Bee: Your hyper-fuel is way more hyper than your mega-magnetizer is mega Me, tears streaming down my face: You’re such a dork Bee, I love you so much

OH NO HOT ROD NO

WINDBLADE YES

AW Hot Rod and Windblade are so cute and SUCH dorks, they’re so casual and relaxed about this

LMAO WAY TO GO BEE

OH NO HOT ROD

“See you on the other side!” HOT ROD NO!!!!!!!!

LMAO naughty Dinosaurs get confined to the bubble (and Windblade too)

CHEETAH BOY!!!

I love how Hot Rod does a somersault to transform, he’s SO CUTE 

Hot Rod and Bee are chasing after this cat and my first thought was “Same”

UH OH THERE GOES HOT ROD, OFF ON HIS MAGICAL ADVENTURE

Episode 4

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE

STARSCREAMGATE

“Who’s storescream?” GUYS PLS

Oh yikes one of those names had kind of a bad word in it??? I wonder if the cyberverse crew caught that

Me, pointing to Soundwave in the background like that one Spongebob meme: THERE’S MY SON

LMAO THEY’RE REALLY OUT HERE ACTING LIKE THEY’RE HONORING STARSCREAM, MEGATRON YOU JERK

Megatron, sounding choked-up with fake tears: Starscream was my closest friend Me: *LOUDLY GAGS*

Megatron’s such a frickin loser I LOVE THIS MORON BUT ALSO BOY YOU’RE REALLY OVERDOING THIS

"Wow, Megatron is really good at lying” 1) HE’S REALLY NOT... 2) YOU’RE LITERALLY NAMED THE DECEPTICONS WHY IS THIS A SURPRISE

“Fail me, and I WILL destroy you” Good ‘ol Megs

Megatron: I need someone to replace Starscream at my side Soundwave: *literally Right There, ready to please, loyal to a fault* Megatron: *walks right by him*

OHOHOHO DANG THAT CONVO MEGATRON HAD WITH SLIPSTREAM WAS SO SO GOOD, I LOVE ME A SCARY MEGATRON!!!!! “See that you don’t waste it” GOOD STUFF

Oh man that little scene where Megatron sits down in his throne and the photo of Starscream automatically gets pulled up and Megatron turns away and dismisses the image is So Good for a variety of reasons, I love the little expressions and emotions the Cyberverse crew puts into scenes where the characters have no dialogue

WHY! ARE! YOU! SO! PRECIOUS!

“Your dramatics are useless, Soundwave!” LEAVE MY BOY ALONE SHOCKWAVE!!!

Wint your boy is bullying mine!!

Gosh I frickin love seeing Shockwave and Soundwave interact THANK YOU FOR THIS CONTENT CYBERVERSE STAFF

Soundwave: I will be the one to bring back Optimus Prime’s head! And then Megatron will finally notice me and love me! Shockwave: For the last time, please stop telling me about your relationship problems

Soundwave: I will be the one to bring back Optimus Prime’s head Shockwave: A highly unlikely conclusion, given your flair for inefficiency Me: IM GOING TO SHOVE SHOCKWAVE INTO A LOCKER, HOW DARE YOU—

Soundwave my sweet boy please kick his butt

I love you Shadow Striker

Shockwave: Sabotage Soundwave’s shuttle Soundwave: BLOW UP HIS FRICKIN LAB

LMAO GOOD LUCK SLIPSTREAM

HOT ROD!!! MY SWEET BOY YOU’RE IN A BAD SPOT

“Oh hey, I’m chasing the moon cheetah, have you seen it?” YOU SWEET BOY!!!!

“Hey this isn’t fair! There’s only two of you!” HOT ROD PLEASE

GOSH when Bludgeon showed up for half a frickin second I was worried they were using Bayverse design for Drift, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED WE ALREADY HAVE DEADLOCK WITH A GOOD NON-BAYVERSE DESIGN AND I’VE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN MORE RELIEVED

Man what a good show

THUNDERCRACKER YOU’RE ADORABLE

Hot Rod: Yeah, not everyone may think I’m a genius, but I make up for it with my good looks Me: You sure do buddy

THEY’RE SO CUTE WHEN THEY POUT

*FLASHBACKS TO MTMTE RODIMUS AND MEGATRON BICKERING*

Megatron: HAIL THE ARK! I need to tell Optimus I’ve kidnapped his son

Megatron: It would appear you’re missing an Autobot Hot Rod: Hey Optimus! :D Optimus: *fatherly sigh of disapproval* B/

noOOO THIS IS JUST LIKE THE MOVIE, STOP WITH THE PARALLELS CYBERVERSE YOU’RE STRESSING ME OUT

OMG HOT ROD YOU LITTLE SNOT, I LOVE YOU

Slipstream: THUNDERCRACKER! What’s going on? Thundercracker, mentally: Quick! Play dumb! Thundercracker: Who’s Thundercracker? Thundercracker, mentally: NOT THAT DUMB

Oh shoot are they rebuilding a new body for Starscream or something

Once again, I’d like to state that the explosions in this show are REALLY pretty

THE CHEETAH 

Megatron: BRING ME THE KITTY

OH SHOOT Episode 5 is up already?? GUESS I’LL WATCH THAT TOO

Ohh so they’re saying the Allspark caused the ground bridges? Interesting!

I wonder what would happen if someone walked into a groundbridge the same time as someone else walked out.

Uh oh they’re going to run into some problems, they both know where the All Spark is now

UH OH it only took Optimus and Megatron??? HERE WE GO This’ll be fun

I love that the All Spark looks like a giant dnd die with the Triforce on it

YESSSS I LOVE THESE MEGATRON / OPTIMUS PRIME FIGHT SCENES

OH SNAP KITTY CAT KNOCKED OVER OPTIMUS

Oh no they’re going to have to go through trials HOOO BOY THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN

Shockwave: Utilize your seekers Slipstream: Uhhhhhhh right I’ll do that yup I totally know where they are

LMAO Cheetor’s about to do some couples therapy on Megatron and Optimus’ relationship

Cheetor: Before you met Optimus Prime, he was a file clerk. What files was he in charge of?  OH SHOOT HE REALLY IS GOING TO PUT THEM THROUGH COUPLES THERAPY, I WAS KIDDING

real talk though, what files WAS Optimus in charge of, now I’m curious

MEGATRON LOOKS SO CONFUSED AND SLIGHTLY OFFENDED, IM CRYIN

IM FRICKIN SCREAMING THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING

Cheetor: Before you met Megatron, he was a celebrated gladiator. In his most famous victory, who did he defeat? Optimus: Oh shoot am I a bad husband???

This screencap is killing me, HE’S LIKE “I REALLY DON’T KNOW” and comparing it to the cap above makes it even funnier, they’re both like “Who the hell is this guy and why is he psychoanalyzing our relationship”

Megatron: How could you not know this??? FRICKIN HELL THIS IS COUPLES THERAPY, OPTIMUS IS ABOUT TO BE LIKE “WELL AT LEAST I DIDN’T FORGET OUR ANNIVERSARY”

Cheetor: What have you learned about leadership from Optimus Prime?” Me, dragging my hands down my face, torn between utter delight and second-hand embarrassment: This is the best episode ever, thank you Cyberverse

MAN for half a second I seriously thought Cheetor dragged Starscream’s body out in alt mode, I WAS ABOUT TO SAY “THAT SEEMS PRETTY DARK”

Oh boy they’re about to get their mandatory “we need a new toy for these guys” armor upgrade, hoo boy

Cyberverse: *Does a close-up of Optimus’ face* Me: I want to kiss the robot

CHEETOR PAY ATTENTION FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE

STARSCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh thank Goodness, thank you for taking their hideous new armor off Starscream

Optimus: I should’ve expected this from you Megatron. How could you bring your new boyfriend to our couples therapy session??? You know how important this was supposed to be!

Lmao Megatron you’re such a hot mess

YEAH I figured the Seekers were fixing Starscream, that’s sweet

OH IT WAS VECTOR SIGMA THEY WERE CARRYING EARLIER, I DIDNT REALIZE THAT

Optimus: I’ve found us a new ally Bumblebee: YOU BROUGHT US A KITTY!!!! Optimus: Uh

OH THERE’S MORE EPISODES UP??? I GUESS I”LL WATCH MORE but I’m making a new post for them, hold up

[theodorasutton]

Digital Anthropology and Formula 1

This blogpost starts with my entry to the DHL competition, which offers my own way into Formula 1, through the drama and personalities of the sport. After my entry, I’ve written my ideas for researching Formula 1 from the perspective of digital anthropology.

My Formula 1 Moment

A few months ago I entered a Formula 1 competition to describe my best F1 moment. I wrote a really heartfelt description and went to submit it, only to find out it was about 5 times too long. I cut it down, submitted, but knew it wasn’t any good. I decided to share the original version and describe my way into the sport which I absolutely never expected myself to like - here it is:

March, 2018. My boyfriend had been watching the Formula 1. The qualifying had ended, and now there was a press conference.

I had never been interested in sport, certainly not one that was so clinical and confusing as Formula 1. For me, all the drivers blurred into one, some seemed to wear red, others wore white, and all of them seemed strangely keen to wear logo embellished headgear. Here they were, three of them, herded behind some microphones, giving stilted answers to press questions. Distracted and on my phone, I was impatient for the end of the program so that we could watch something interesting. "I can assure you we don't have a party mode,” one of them was saying. "I used the same mode from Q2 to the end of Q3. There was no extra mode, no extra button I engaged in." "What were you doing before, then?” The guy in red asked him, taking a sip from his drink and smiling mischievously. "I was waiting to put a good lap in…” The guy in white said, “to wipe the smile off your face,” he added under his breath, with an extra dash of sass. Was he angry, or was he joking? It was hard to tell. The two of them seemed to be rigid with tension, but keen to put on a good show for the cameras. The guy in white patted the guy in red’s arm, insisting that he was only joking. The awkwardness was palpable, and the exchange had my full attention. The other guy in red, sitting on the right, however, seemed to be daydreaming. Who was this guy in white, who my boyfriend told me was winning everything? What planet had he landed from, that gave him the ability to win races with robotic precision? The guy in red with the mischievous smile seemed to be the underdog, and was endearing. The daydreaming one was pure comedy. “Do they have brawls in the bars after a race?” I asked. “I don’t know,” my boyfriend said. “I’m not sure they can drink. They have to maintain almost no body fat.” I frowned. “I hope the guy in red punches the guy in white,” I said. I envisioned him chucking TVs out of swanky hotel windows. I live for the drama. This was the moment that got me into Formula 1. For the first time I saw inside the machines that zoomed predictably around faraway racetracks. I started to realise that Formula 1 wasn’t just lap times, numbers on a screen, and a choice between hard or soft tyres; it was fundamentally about the people. There were egos, eye watering pay checks, glamorous locations, and a whole lot of pressure. There were feuds, confrontations, and tears. It wasn’t until much later that I realised the physical toll of driving a Formula 1 car, and the gym regime that accustomed drivers’ bodies to immense forces while going round the track. I had thought drivers were just pressing buttons inside a machine, but these were athletes putting their lives on the line. Lewis wasn’t always so sassy. He usually spoke with the measured words of a religious guru, emphasising gratitude and hard work. Meditating, praying, exercising, and listening to the right song before a race were apparently what helped him achieve his super-human results. We jubilantly listened to a Christina Aguilera where he was rumoured to perform a hilarious and cringeworthy rap. “Imagine all the other drivers teasing him with it,” I said. It took me a while to realise that Sebastian was a four-time world champion. His voice was low and disinterested while he gave clamouring journalists a run through of his race. In Bahrain, in 2019, Lewis seemed to make him spin on the track through pure intimidation. After races, we watched eagerly for the private moment when the top three drivers would meet in the break room, wipe the sweat off their faces, shake hands, and grimace after two hours of ruthless competition. Was the loser completely crushed? What would they say to one another now that they were face to face? But it was Kimi who became the most entertaining of the three from the press conference that day. Often giving nonsensical answers to journalists (that started with the sound “bwoah”) or pretending to not hear them, he, too, was mischievous and clearly hated any kind of ceremony that stopped him either driving very fast, or going home. His elusiveness made me increasingly curious, and I searched for entertaining stories, finding ones about him napping on piles of tyres, drunkenly diving off a stage with no crowd to catch him, or screaming “gloves and steering wheel!” to a bewildered pit crew. Since that moment in March 2018 I’ve learned more about what really makes Formula 1 tick. I’ll be honest, I still switch off when people start talking about technical specs. But I love to watch the drivers, team principles, and pundits, when they find a way to say everything with just a look in their eyes, or a quiet dig at a competitor. I love it when there’s gossip and wild predictions, and memes to be made. I never thought I would love a sport like I love Formula 1 now, but it was the people - and Lewis’ sass - that got me where I am now.

Digital Anthropology and Formula 1

Through getting my head around F1, I’ve unsurprisingly thought about it in terms of my own research into digital anthropology - or how technology is part of our social world today. I truly know nothing about sport, so I may be wrong, but it seems that F1 is the most technologically mediated sport there is. Rather than athletes who test their physical capabilities, the drivers’ abilities are mediated through a machine, which could be working well, or could be crawling round the track. That machine has been built from the ground up, bolt by bolt, by engineers constantly trying to improve on the vision of the four-wheeled vehicle. They don’t simply drive the same car at each race, it’s continuously evolving and being tinkered with by the team and its engineers in-between weekends.

F1 car aerodynamics Rather than watching the race directly, the teams themselves watch a row of television screens. For starters, the circuit is too big to see in one go, and the noises are too loud to expose your ears to. To experience F1, even for those participating, necessitates cameras and microphones and screens. But the teams are not only watching footage of the race, but endless numbers dancing in front of their eyes, listing speed for each sector, tyre wear, temperatures, and predictions. What secret software do they rely upon to give them an advantage over others - what algorithms are at work, invisibly measuring and shaping the race? Do they have the problem of too much data - data saturation or InfoObesity - where they can learn no more, or they struggle to store, protect, or analyse the information flying at them?

Renault’s Pit Wall, Singapore GP

Pit wall display screen, from Reddit

While the celebrity drivers of F1 plummet themselves around a track several centimetres away from the tarmac - sometimes losing up to 3 litres of water and 4kg in one race - F1 is equally a mathematical sport. This interplay of bodies and technology, personality and data, is fascinating. If I were to design a research project on F1, it would ask how these aspects of the sport are reconciled. What relationship do the teams have with their technology? Are strategies based more on digital information - “The computer says we should do this, so we’ll do it"? Or do they put their faith in people like Hamilton, knowing that his judgment in split seconds would prevail?

Masculinity and aggression would be important themes. Comparing Formula 1 to my limited knowledge of football or rugby, where frustration can be taken out with shouting, running, tumbling, or even brief fights, I wonder if F1 is more of a restrained, poised sport, played behind a veil of respectability, where resentment comes out not physically, but in catty, underhand plays, spies, cutting people out, or perhaps insistently pronouncing your name wrong. My suggestion that Hamilton might throw some TVs out of a window was an attempt to understand where that necessary frustration ends up. A clip of Ricciardo screaming with his helmet still on, Verstappen shoving Ocon, or Schumacher marching furiously up the pit lane towards Coulthard, pulls back the curtain. Behind the scenes, what dastardly behaviour lurks? I also wonder how the teams would take failure differently if they were all women. After both Red Bull cars were taken out of the same race, I remember saying to my boyfriend that “I wouldn’t want to be in a room full of those angry Red Bull workers.” When Haas repeatedly have outbursts on their radios, they seem to be transgressing an invisible rule of Formula 1, that anger is a private matter. What other invisible rules are there that shape team behaviour, and create friction between them?

Haas team principle Gunther Steiner’s outburst at Sochi, for which he was fined $7500

At the same time, while teams seem keen to control their presentation, moments of intense emotion, and authentic reactions of the drivers and pit crew, give fans something to go on. How does Formula 1 balance its primary purpose - the need to be entertaining, with the teams' clear desire to maintain professionalism and secrecy? In 2017, F1 released YouTube videos of the post race driver briefings, which featured drivers sat in rows like bored schoolboys. The videos are extremely entertaining, mostly due to the comedic camerawork and Grosjean attempting to get other drivers into trouble - but the uploads have since stopped, possibly because it was too much of an invasion into the meetings. Netflix’s 2019 series “Formula 1: Drive to Survive” gave us a behind the scenes look, and helped us meet the personalities in F1 and empathise with their stories and struggles. In the recent On The Marbles podcast, Lee McKenzie explains that one reason why AutoSport is going out of print is the on-brand messages from the teams are too bland and repetitive for the price of the magazine. My own entry to the DHL competition displays my feeling that the sport needs drama to continue. This tension plays out everywhere. As the stewards continue to penalise small errors in driving, they curtail more of the scrappy, fight-y racing that the drivers seem to enjoy as much as the spectators, resulting in races that are “boring” and “processional.” Rather than relying on printed interviews, fans may be turning to social media to connect more closely with the characters in the sport. Through Instagram, Reddit, and YouTube, fans create memes based on the funniest moments on and off track, some of which endure for months.

Left: A fan’s take on Haas’ “I think Ericsson hit us”. Right: The radio message to Kimi Raikkonen when his drink was not connected The McLaren driver Lando Norris, only 19 years old, posts stories on his Instagram most days, and welcomes the playful Internet world of memes and ridiculousness in a way that breaks with the usual “robotic monotony” of drivers. It turns out that in his spare time, when he’s not racing in real life, he enjoys racing Verstappen on a video game. In this way, through following them on Instagram, fans can see relationships between the drivers - in a recent example, Ricciardo and Leclerc teased each other on their own respective Instagram accounts during a shared flight. Technology is playing a role, then, not only in the broadcasting of sport, but in the way that fans can relate to F1 and its personalities, by viewing mundane and everyday moments that span much further than the race weekend. 

Left: Ricciardo’s selfie with sleeping teammate Verstappen Middle: Norris’ Instagram, teasing his teammate Sainz Right: Leclerc jokes about a misspelling of his name

Research Outline

Taking an academic view of Formula 1 Absolutely Totally Seriously, I would propose viewing it through the idea of Rationality. Rationality has come up in my work on digital detoxing, where in a “Disenchanted” modern world, we perceive that technological progress explains the world down to neat facts and figures. We can bend the world to our own ends, since everything becomes calculable. To act rationally would be to do things for the intended goal, without the need for guesswork or fate. 

Interpreting Formula 1 in these terms, the sport splits into its Rational and Irrational aspects. On the one hand, teams design machines using cutting edge technology, and sensors and numbers tell them how to optimise the car to be more likely to win. On the other hand, the teams are made of people, who are emotional, or rather irrational - who might in fact be the key ingredient for winning (like the magical je ne sais quoi of Lewis Hamilton or Ayrton Senna), or who might require motivating, might cause problems, or make mistakes. 

I would hypothesise that the teams themselves prefer a rational view of F1. They want everything to be predictable, structured, cool, calm and collected. However, in order to survive, in order to entertain, the sport requires Irrationality - drama, friction, emotion, personality. Also under this heading would be fate, luck, the driver’s own headspace and personal life. A research project of Formula 1 would look at how the teams manage tension between these two aspects - and I would aim to answer questions through an ethnography of team culture.

My research questions would be something like this. 

How do the teams incorporate digital technology into their work, and do Formula 1 teams rely more on technology, or on human skill? 

What norms are there around emotion in Formula 1, and how is emotion managed by the teams?

How do Formula 1 teams balance the need to be entertaining with the need to win, and how is social media changing their relationship to this?

I better get back to my thesis.