#I had to send them my authorization for my doctor's authorization that they know I had to ask him for

[tearlessrain]

[emerges from my office covered in blood]

just used my insurance company's online messaging system

[clovermoters]

anytime, anywhere - lando norris x childhood sweetheart!reader

summary - lando fell in love when he was ten years old, heres small moments of that love over the years.

warnings - kisses, panic attacks, small amount of violence & lando being a SAP

wc : 8k

some music - work song, hozier | my love mine all mine, mitski | love of my life, harry styles | pov, ariana grande | super rich kids, frank ocean.

authors note - hi! as always, enjoy! reblogs & likes are always hugely appreciated!! lots of love, clove!

ten - the meeting

The fluorescent lights of the afterschool program shined bright as you were sitting at the snack table, quietly picking away at the food your mom packed for you this morning. It was 5:30, most kids had been picked up by their parents or siblings. Leaving you and four other kids left, one was a curly haired boy who was sitting not far across from you. Working away at his homework. 

You remembered he was in your class. Lando, you remember, was his name. He was quiet, and he sat far across the room from you, so you haven't spoken to him much since meeting him in september. 

One of the coordinators for the program, Allie walks into the room, having left minutes prior to take a phone call, she looks at you with a sympathetic look on her face before sitting down next to you carefully.

You already know what she's going to say 

“Hi sweetie, that was your mum” she began, taking a deep breath trying to keep her voice low. “Your parents are going to be a bit late today, your mum said dad will get here as quick as possible” she continued. 

This wasn't the first time your parents have called, they were late most days, you tried to understand that they have unpredictable jobs, with both your mum and dad being doctors at one of the top hospitals in the country. 

You huffed, nodding before pulling out a colouring book that was given to you by your teacher as homework, the same homework the brunette across the room was doing. 

Down the table, the other three boys seemed to have heard your conversation with allie. 

“Ooooohhh y/n’s parents abandoned her!” one of them taunts, the boys burst into giggles before Allie sends them a stern face. they don't let up. 

“Isn't this like the third time this week? They must forget about you alot” they poke while their laughter grows louder 

You see out of the corner of your eye, Lando looks up from his book, his eyes looking to you while your head stays down, trying to focus on your coloring.  

Tears prick your eyes as Allie sends them to the hallway, probably to tell them off, some more. The sound of your sniffles fill the room and Lando watches you wipe your tears with your sleeve before he stands up and makes his way across the room and places himself right next to you. 

“I like your colouring” he says shyly, like he isn't sure what to say. You turn to him, his green eyes looking into yours as he offers you a warm, genuine smile. You find yourself smiling softly back at him, like it was contagious. 

“Thanks, yours is okay” you giggle mischievously, looking down to see his work. His colours were slightly different than yours, but you both had the same idea with shades and detail, his jaw dropped in faux offense. 

“Hey! They look the same!” he says, you both break out into a fit of giggles, playfully chatting while you continue with your artwork. 

When Allie returns, she finds you two in a very in depth conversation about the movie you watched in class today. Crayons scattered around the abandoned colouring books, she smiled softly at the two ten year olds as she watched a special bond form between them. 

You chatted about everything, Lando told you about his newly found hobby in karting. How he wanted to try competing and was mostly excited to miss school for races. You told him small details about you, his attention never wavering as you spoke. 

You both chatted until the rest of the kids had left, leaving just you two and Allie, who was sitting quietly in the corner playing some game on her phone. 

“You should come to one of my races” he declares, “i'll let you drive my kart” you cringe slightly, frowning at the boy. the thought of operating the machinery scares you slightly. “When you win a race I'll go karting with you.” You say shaking your head at him, 

The door opened and in walked a lady whose eyes found lando almost instantly, lando had his back to the door since he was fully immersed in his conversation with you. 

“I think your mums here” you say as Lando whips his head around to see his mum. He smiled, getting up from his seat and hugging her tight. You felt your shoulders drop as you realized lando would now go home, leaving you alone. 

“Hi sweetheart, ready to go home?” she asks her son, who hesitates before he answers. Lando made eye contact with you, the girl he’d found a new friend in and felt quite sad to leave her here, when he got to go home. 

Looking at his mum, he shakes his head “no i wanna stay with y/n until her dad comes.” 

His mum looked at you, shrinking into your chair with all eyes on you. She had a sparkle in her eye as she watched him make his way back to you. She could tell her son had grown fond of you by seeing how he continued your conversation as if his mum wasn't there.

“so, if I win a race, you will come karting with me. deal?” he holds his small hand out, you smile, showing him a toothy smile that made his ten eight year old brain stop in time. Wanting to freeze frame it and paste it onto his eyelids. 

You shake his hand 

“deal.” 

Fifteen  - the unofficial first date

You were anxiously scuffing your feet into the asphalt of your local karting track. Lando had won his first karting race long ago, he was actually set to win his first series this year. But you two had never gotten around to getting you into a kart and on track with him. 

Since that day five years ago, you two had been inseparable. He took you to races on the weekend, and you had helped him catch up in school when he needed help. 

You even started going home with him after school and your parents began to just pick you up at Landos. 

Lando knew he liked you, he had known since he met you. Since your hand brushed against his when you both reached for the same crayon. Your smile was contagious and he swore you grew flowers wherever you walked. 

What started as a small elementary crush– over the years had bloomed into something bigger, something Lando couldn't explain just yet. 

Lando was so excited to show you karting, you could see it on his face. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet while he pulled you through the garage with his hand held in yours. You tried to ignore the butterflies that have made home in your stomach years ago when Lando started getting touchy like this with you. It started with his hand lightly brushing your shoulder in conversations, hugs that lasted longer than they should’ve while his head was tucked snugly in the crook of your neck. 

he leads you to a small single seater that you assumed was yours for the afternoon, “this is what you’ll be driving, i'll be in my kart with you the whole time” he explains, showing you how to control it and the proper steering technique, while throwing in a couple tips. His hand is still laced with yours as he tells you about his own kart. 

You loved seeing him in his element. Watching him race was your favourite thing. You admired his face as he spoke, the freckles you've grown to love topped with his curls that he was still learning to care for properly (after you had begged him too). 

“You with me?” he nudges your arm, shaking you out of your daydream. You nod 

“yeah, just zoned out a bit.” you reply, 

When you walked out in fireproofs and a karting suit, Lando felt like time froze, the world around him spinning to a halt as his gaze found you. He thought you looked beautiful everyday, but seeing you in a race uniform made his mind go fuzzy. 

His breath caught in his throat as he watched you walk over to him, holding a helmet and gloves. His green eyes sparkling at you, like you were the only girl in the world.  

He helped you with your helmet, his fingers brushing under your chin as he clipped the chinstrap, sending shockwaves down your spine. When you were secured he gave you a light tap on the side of your head before you both got in your karts, starting your engines. 

-

You were slowly getting the hang of the machinery, the kart vibrating underneath you as you took each corner with more confidence as you went, Lando staying steadily out in front of you. Turning his neck around to check in on you when you two would rush down the straights. You understood why he enjoyed this so much, the thrill of taking a corner slightly too fast, pushing the kart to its limit. 

You almost enjoyed it too much. 

The barrier came quickly, you hit a dead spot on the track, your kart skidding straight into the make-shift padded wall. When Lando watched the yellow flag fly out, he immediately felt his stomach drop, turning around to see you wobbling slightly in your kart. 

Stopping his kart safely off the track, his feet hit the ground as he sprinted to you, dropping in front of you, flicking his and your visor up, his eyes scanning yours frantically as he watched tears brim your eyes. 

“Hey, you okay?” he asks, his concern evident in his voice as he checks you over. “Where does it hurt?” you groan as he moves your arm slightly, cringing as your muscles contract from the sudden shock. 

“Im okay, just annoyed, im sorry” you huff, tears threatening to fall from your eyes, you knew how much lando wanted to take you karting and show you his world. And now you've ruined it by crashing. 

“No, no none of that.” he soothes, helping you out of the kart and back to the garage. Sitting you down and helping you take your helmet off. You looked adorable when he saw your messy hair from the balaclava. Lando had never wanted to kiss anyone yet, but at this moment he was coming very close to kissing you. 

It was like an itch that surged his whole body, the desire he felt to do all the things a couple does. He wanted to try them, with you. The hand holding while walking to classes, the nights spent wrapping in eachothers arms, he wanted all of you. 

 he wanted to learn what being in love was like, and he only saw himself learning with you. 

“Are you sure you're okay?” he asks cautiously, concerned that your adrenaline hasn't allowed you to fully feel any pain you might be in. 

“Yeah, i think i'll just be sore” you sigh, taking a sip from the water bottle he retrieved from the cooler for you, sitting himself on the floor in front of you. He's looking up to you like he's mesmerizing every inch of your face, studying every mole and freckle. 

Lando chuckles, “oh yea, you're gonna hurt like hell tomorrow” he jokes, you kick him lightly as you break into a fit of giggles, your laughs filling the garage with a sense of joy. 

The mechanics nearby smile at the two of you, infatuated with the way Lando acted in your presence. On a normal race weekend, he was focused, almost unable to see past the task at hand. With you, he was light, laughing, almost as if you showed him what happiness was. 

Your laughs die down and you catch yourself staring at the way his nose crinkled as he smiled. How his curls sit perfectly even after being smushed in his helmet. Your cheeks go flush while you fidget with the hem of your fireproof. 

Lando gaze locked onto you, he watches as your face focuses on your fingers, smiling softly before he stands up, offering his hand out to you. 

“c’mon, lets make my dad get us ice cream” 

You break out into a smile, linking your fingers with his before standing up, you two making your way to find Landos dad. 

Even though karting didn't go how he had planned, Lando felt today was a successful day nonetheless. Because he got to spend his day with you, showing you his other world he loved, the world he was building and working towards, imagining what the future would be when he climbs his way to the top, and he knew he wanted you to be right there with him when he did.

“Thank you for coming to my rescue” you say playfully as you walk with him towards the car, he just smiles, his curls bouncing as he strolls beside you.

“Anytime, anywhere.” 

Seventeen - bruise knuckles with a side of love  

The lights were dimmed as you walked into the house of your friend's house, music was pumping through the speakers providing background noise to the conversations you could hear flowing throughout the room. 

Your eyes scanned the room, looking for the familiar head of chocolate curls who you refused to admit was the whole reason you had come. Lando had been away karting for the past week and you haven't seen him, when you spot him, he has his back turned to you fully engrossed in a conversation with Max Fewtrell. 

Max's eyes catch your from over landos shoulder, a small smirk creeping into his face as he announces your entrance.

“ayeee!! There she is!” he shouts, landos head whips around, slightly confused to who Max is referring to, when he spots you, his eyes light up. You two lock eyes and it's like the world falls away for a moment as you take each other in. He noticed you had straightened your hair differently, training a soft curl at the end of your hair, framing your face perfectly. 

He's on his feet in seconds, making his way across the room to close what felt like a ravine between you. Mumbling a soft hey while engulfing you in a hug, it felt like coming home after a horrible day. His arms squeezing you softly as he tucks his head into your shoulder. You hug him back, closing your eyes as you both linger in the hug for a moment. 

You don't realize that it's been long until Max is next to you, he clears his throat loudly, startling you guys apart. He smiles, greeting you with a brief hug that has Lando sending him a slight glare. You failed to notice the brunette pinching his friend's side afterwards, max letting out a small whine. 

You told Lando how much he missed school, he shrugged it off with a laugh, you both knew he had given up on completing school. Joking that you were getting the degree for both of them. The three of you had always been close, going through schooling together since you were young. Though Max knew there was a bond between you and Lando that he would never be able to fully understand. 

You two understood each other without even having to speak, if Lando was upset with a race, Max often would text you as they drove home, you’d be waiting for them on the porch with snacks and a movie. Lando falling into your embrace before you settled on your own end of the couch, one of his favorite films playing on the tv. 

If Max looked over to you two, he’d see Lando absentmindedly playing with your fingers, he’d see you slowly running your hand through his curls, something you knew would calm him down 

You always knew lando needed comfort after a bad result, but you failed to understand that all he ever really needed was you. 

 “I'm gonna go grab a drink, do you want anything?” you ask softly, pointing to the small mini bar that was set up in the corner, one of the guests dramatically pouring non-alcoholic drinks as if you were in a club. 

“Monster pleasee” he drawls, smiling widely as if mimicking a little kid asking for candy. You roll your eyes with a smile before turning to Max, who shows you his already half drunk redbull. 

You turn away, sauntering your way to grab the beverages, lando and max watch you as you make your way. Once you're out of earshot, Max drops his smile before turning to smack lando in the arm. The boy yelps in pain, grabbing his arm with an unamused look on his face

“Oww!” Lando groans as Maxs face stays serious. 

“Why haven't you told her” he asked, leaving no room for bullshit. Lando and you had been dancing around the idea of a relationship for years, and he was tired of it. He was tired of seeing his two best friends hopelessly in love with each other and choosing to ignore it. 

“It's just not the right time,” Lando argues, his voice small. He tried so many times to tell you, to blurt his feelings out like a case of word vomit, to just scream i love you in your face. But every time, the words died in his throat at the possibility of you not returning his feelings. 

“Bullshit.” max counters “you two have been all heart eyes since we were what? twelve? I don't care whatever story you’ve run in your head, she loves you Lando and you both need to open your eyes and see it” he commands, sending a blow straight to Landos heart as he exhales with a sigh, his gaze fixed on you chatting with the boy handing out drinks. 

“What if it doesn't work out? I'm never here anymore max, how is that fair to her?” Lando says, a sense of longing evident in his eyes while he looks at you.

 Max’s offense crumbles slightly, but he didn't let up “she loves you enough to fight for it. She just needs to know you're willing to fight for it too.” he offers, you make your return, holding two cans of monster, the two boys staring slightly.  Like they had just been caught doing something they shouldn't. You frown slightly, your hand rising to cover your face.

“Do I have something on my face?” you ask worried, your hand rubbing along your features as you search frantically. Lando chuckles, lightly grabbing your wrists to halt your movements 

“No no,-” he breathes through a laugh, his touch sending sparks up your forearms  “you look beautiful” he said lowly, like it was only for you to hear. 

 You exhale deeply with a small laugh, sending him a soft, genuine smile that had Lando seeing double. 

This boy was done for. 

– 

The atmosphere had shifted since you arrived, the party was now in full swing as bodies filled the house, the base of the song vibrating underneath the floor. You and Lando were standing in a corner, your conversation light as you both nursed your drinks. 

Lando was explaining the new video game he and max had started playing when he was– quite rudely– interrupted by a boy approaching you, it was the same boy from the drink bar, whose name you learned was james 

“hi y/n, i just wanted to say that i enjoyed our conversation earlier. It's always a pleasure chatting with you” he smiles, one of those smiles that has a cheshire cat behind it, one that makes you slightly stiff next to lando. James didn't acknowledge landos presence, acting as if you were standing next to a plant pot. 

“Oh, thank you james.” you say, noticing lando’s eyes have turned to the black and neon can in his hand, fiddling with the pull tab. He's trying not to listen, but the way you shifted towards him slightly as James kept talking to you made him wary. 

“–hey you wanna get outta here?” James offers. 

Something in lando snaps when he sees the cocky smirk on his face.

“Woah,woah,woah, let's slow your roll here, mate.” he steps slightly in front of you, puffing his chest. 

“Last time I checked I wasn't talking to you” James barks back. his voice became louder as you hid behind lando. 

 “she clearly doesn’t want to be talking with you” he argues, you could see Landos fists balling at his sides. the monster abandoned on the windowsill behind you. Landos neck grows red as the anger bubbles underneath his skin. 

“Yk’what, why don't you let me and the lady have a conversation, yeah?” he says trying to push past Lando, his tone dripping with smugness. 

Oh that had Lando seeing red.

His fist connects with James' jaw, then his nose. Sending him to the floor, you gasp as James groans, before getting up and raising his fist. He doesn't have the time to think before Lando sends another blow to his chest, knocking him down for good. 

Two guests go to James, picking him up to place him on the couch as Max rushes over to you and Lando, his eyes falling to Landos hand.

“Shit mate–” he exhales, scanning the room for a way out “–c’mon let's go get some ice and fix that, you have to drive this weekend.” 

He leads you upstairs to a somewhat secluded bathroom, shutting the door as Lando sits on the sink, the pain from his hand evident in his movements. 

You haven't spoken since the fight, slightly shaken up from watching your best friend almost did beat the living daylights out of someone. You didn't want to think about what could've happened if James was able to land his own punches. 

You press toilet paper to his bleeding knuckles, and Lando hisses from the pain of you pressing on the inflamed flesh. Dropping his head onto your shoulder as max ruffles through the cabinet.

“score!” he exclaims, holding up a bright red first aid kit. He pulls out the alcohol wipes and hands them off to you. 

“m’sorry, this is gonna hurt” you say quietly before you clean the wounds, lando squeezes his eyes shut at the sting, his uninjured hand finds your waist, using it as a lifeline. 

Once the wounds are clean you begin to wrap his hand, your touch light as max hands you gauze, but nothing to secure it with. 

“Max, I need tape or something–” you mumble, focused on the task at hand. Lando watches as your tongue pokes out of your mouth while your eyes –which he's just noticing are slightly glossed over– are focused on carefully covering the wounds. 

Once Max makes his way to find you tape, you and Lando are left in silence, spare from the muffled sound of music still coming from downstairs. You were mumbling soft swears as the gauze would slip in your hold. 

“um- i'm really sorry–” lando breaks the silence, you look to him but he won't meet your eyes, “–i didn't like where he was going with that, but if you–uh..wanted him though, i understand” he says low, his eyes fixed on his lap while you look at him slightly shell shocked.

You scoff, almost like a laugh “you’re an idiot” he looks up, green eyes pouring into yours, hyper aware of the hold you had on his hand and his on your hip.

“Wh-what?” he breathes, confused. You send him a small are you stupid? look before saying what you’ve been trying to build the courage to say for years.

“I don't want him, god did you see his greasy hair?-” you roll your eyes, lando chuckles softly before you continue “i want you, you muppet”

Lando froze, he stared at you with nothing but admiration, you stood in front of him with a smile on your face, he swore he could’ve died right there. He exhaled deeply as a smile grew wide on his face, reaching both ears as he pulled you closer.  

“Thank god because i'm not sure what i would've done if you didn't” he whispers, his eyes flicking to your lips, tilting his head down slightly. You leaned in slightly, his breath fanning across your face before he locked his lips onto yours. 

The kiss was slow, but hard, like the crescendo of a musical piece. Years of longing being poured into it, your lips slotting together perfectly. Moving in sync as your free hand cups his jaw. He pulls you closer by his hold on your waist, humming slightly when you bite his bottom lip.

 The world seemed to have faded away as he deepened the kiss. His tongue swiping across your bottom lip, asking for access you happily granted. You kissed him until you were breathless, smiling against each other's lips, you swore you could see sparkles in landos eyes.

“ten year old me is so happy right now” he mumbled against your lips, smiling so wide as you giggled. You kissed him again, softer this time, drinking in the kiss that you had dreamt about for years.

You kissed him multiple times in that bathroom, the pain in his hand forgotten as his focus was solely on you. 

That was, until the doorknob jingled before Max opened the door, holding tape and a bag of ice. You step back quickly as Max halts his movement, it didn't take an idiot to put two and two together. Your puffy lips, landos slightly messy hair, and his poorly wrapped hand that had been perfectly wrapped when he left moments ago.  

All he did was smile, before handing lando the ice to hold to his hand. He hands you the tape before moving back to the door, lingering in it before he leaves.

“I am so, so, fucking happy for you both.” is all he says before shutting the door, leaving you alone once again. 

You turned to each other slowly, staring for a moment before you broke out into giggles. Once you both quiet down, you rewrap his hand, maybe stealing a kiss or two (or three) while you work, making up for all the time you could’ve been kissing him over the years. 

Lando watched you lovingly, thinking to the future. Yes he was scared, he was scared of what this meant with you in school and him racing. But he could see that you wanted this, you wanted him. if he had to die fighting to make you two work, he was gonna sure as hell try. 

Nineteen - through the storm

The crisp autumn air turned your nose red as you walked through the streets of London towards Max and his girlfriend, Pietras’ flat. It was Saturday afternoon and Lando was in Italy, it was Lando’s first year in F1, you two had been dating for two years now, and had your own flat in London you called home. 

Every race weekend, it became a tradition for you to watch qualifying and the race with Max and Pietra. Ordering pizza while you shout at the tv against anyone who dares to overtake your boyfriend. 

Opening the door you waltz in, announcing your arrival before shrugging your shoes off, placing your coat and bag in the mudroom. Your sock clad feet pad across the floor into the living room where Max had set up the broadcast. 

“How's he doing?” you ask, grabbing a blanket and snuggling into the couch. “He's doin’ fine but I'm not sure we're getting out of Q2” he answers, a sigh escaping his lips as you frown. Lando had told you the struggles he's been having recently with the car, not being able to find that balance he needs. 

The media knew it too, it felt like every time you checked your phone, someone had something horrible to say about the man you loved. You knew it was getting to him despite the brave face he put on. 

Your boyfriend was the type of person who wanted everyone to love him, the amount of scrutiny was eating at him while all he did was try his best in the car he was given.

 It wasn't his fault the car he was given was a tractor.

You watched anxiously as the timer ticked down, a minute left in Q2. Lando was setting his final lap, nibbling on your fingernails as he rounded the final sector, crossing the line to land in P14. his teammate Carlos sainz, landing in P7. 

You deflate, knowing lando wouldn’t be happy with himself, you knew him too well. After years of watching him in F3 and F2, you know what was running through his head and it killed you that you couldn’t be there with him. 

When he was home earlier in the month he told you one night how the one thing that scared him was people thinking he didn’t deserve his seat, this result certainly didn't help him with his self doubt. 

“He's going to be so upset” you mumble, turning your ringer on while you wait for his call. Another small tradition you had was if you weren't in attendance, the minute he had a moment alone, he was on the phone with you.

Max nods silently, Pietra sighing as she makes her way to the kitchen to order pizza for you all, silence stretching throughout the apartment as you watch the final moments of qualifying. 

As the commentators congratulated the pole sitter, raving on about the final laps that had been revolutionary all you could think about was Lando and how he was beating himself up over this. 

You could see the tweets now, the hate, the scrutiny that was going to flood your socials the second you looked, just as you went to pick up your phone, it vibrated from lando calling you, the goofy smile of his contact photo smiling back at you as you answered the call.

“heyy baby!” you say, walking into the guest room for some privacy, sitting down on the foot of the bed. The line was quiet for a moment before Lando responded with a soft “hey” his voice wobbled as he spoke.

“You drove really well lando.. don't beat yourself up over one bad quali” you say softly, keeping your tone light. Soft sniffles came from Landos end of the line, your heart squeezes as you hear him cry softly. Lando wasn’t a crier, so when he did, you knew he was close to his breaking point.

“I can't do this anymore,” he sniffles. “I don't even want to know what they're saying right now.” he cries. You listen to his broken sobs as tears escape your own eyes. You hated being so far away from him while he was hurting like this, he was alone and vulnerable and that made you want to scream. Wishing you could crawl through the phone and get to him. 

You debated telling his trainer, getting someone else in the room with him to make sure he was safe, but you knew he needed to let it out first. You’d tell Jon later, right now you needed to be there for lando. 

Landos breathing starts to become ragged as his sentences come out in short breaths, you hear the panic attack coming before it fully hits him, his voice was shaky as it grew quieter. His words dying in his throat before he could say them, you could hear his breathing becoming more frantic. 

“Lan, baby i need you to breathe for me” He was sending himself deeper into a panic and it only worried you more. You felt useless just listening while he struggled to find a breath.

“I ca- i cant” he chokes out, his sobs echoing through the phone as you begin to frantically text Jon. Your fingers shaking as you message the man, tears flowing down your face.

You: 911!

You: get to landdo now he's habvin a panic attack on the phone wit me 

You: please jon im panicjking myself listning to him

Jon: On it.

You keep assuring him through the phone, trying to say something– anything that will calm him down. Telling him to unzip his race suit, asking him what he can smell, see, hear, or taste. None of it worked, the boy was breaking down in your ears and you felt helpless while waiting for Jon to find him. 

You hear the door open on the other end, the phone falls to the floor as the murmurs of Jons voice filter down the phone. You don't hear much for a few moments, taking the time to compose yourself, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your landos hoodie. 

“hey y/n, he's all good now, i'll have you call him back in a bit. Are you okay?” Jons voice crackles through the phone after a while, you exhale a sigh of relief, clutching a hand to your chest. 

“Yeah… sounds good, thank you jon.” you say softly, hanging up the call.

You splash some water on your face before returning to max and pietra. The two noticed something was off with you immediately. 

“You okay? How is he?” Max asks slowly, you didn't say anything. He could tell something was wrong when tears flooded your eyes. Closing the distance, he pulls you into a hug as a sob escapes your lips, you clutch onto him while you cry. Tears pour down your face as you explain what just happened, Max listens with sympathy written all over his face. 

 Hes silent for a moment, before an idea pops into his head “Let's get you to italy.” he says, determination in his voice as he grabs his phone, immediately googling flights. 

“what- but i don't have anything packed- what if there's no flights” you ramble, slightly shocked he was so set on this idea, he shakes his head, finalized in his decision that you needed to get on a flight as soon as possible and he didn't care how.

“Go home and pack, you don't need much it's only a night- SCORE” he turns the phone around, showing you a flight to Italy “leaves in four hours, if we hurry.. we can get you there” he says. You two lock eyes, a new sense of determination blooming inside you. You needed to be there for Lando, and you were going to get there.

It all happened so fast, one minute you were packing clothes into a duffle bag, and now you had landed in Italy, the flight was quick, two hours from London to Milan. You sat in the cab, the streetlights fading by as you made your way to landos hotel. 

The hotel was beautiful, wishing you could've come on better circumstances, thinking back to all the times you and Lando would be talking late at night, hushed whispers about what it was going to be like once he reached F1, all the places you’d go together. 

You never expected what reality would end up being. 

You stood in front of landos hotel room, Jon was standing next to you. Since the phone call, you had asked Jon to stay with lando. Explaining to him why incase of an emergency, you wouldn't be available for lando. He immediately agreed and also offered to walk you up to the room upon your arrival. 

Once the door opened, and you saw him. His eyes looked drained, his hair was messy from him running his hands through it. When he locked eyes with you, they widened so big they could’ve popped out of their sockets. 

He stared at you for a moment, trying to decipher whether or not you were really here, actually in front of him at his hotel in Monza. Once he felt you wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace, it hit him. 

It hit him hard.

“Oh my god” he breathed as he melted into your arms, his emotions bubbling over again as tears escaped his eyes. He had never felt so relieved to be in your arms, not since that moment in a bathroom years ago, it was like you were an angel sent straight for him. 

He pulled away to get a good look at you, you were wiping his cheeks softly. He still couldn't believe you flew to him. 

“Are you actually here, or am I dreaming?” he asks, a wet chuckle escapes you both as you realize you're also crying. 

“Im here, i'm real” you smile, pulling him back into a hug as you smooth the hair on the back of his neck. “I couldn’t stay in London when you were here in this state. It would’ve killed me.” you sniffled. His hands wrap around you, holding on like if he’d let go, you'd disappear, and he'd wake up from this nightmare with you still in london. 

He pulled back, placing a soft kiss to your lips before mumbling many “i love yous” into your mouth as you kissed him back, soft and slow. Forgetting about Jon standing a few feet away from you two. He turns away slightly, letting you have your moment. 

You pull away echoing a soft “sorry” to Jon who just smiles softly, shaking his head in dismissal as Lando wraps his arms around your waist, activating his clingy-ness. 

You say goodnight to Jon as you and Lando head into bed, the events of the day taking their effect. Lando immediately wraps his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face into your shoulder, placing soft kisses on the exposed skin before resting his head on your chest. 

“Thank you, for understanding me more than I do myself” he mumbles sleepily, his breaths even out as he finally looks at peace with his mind. Your smile is warm as you place a light kiss to his forehead before finally resting your eyes, having your boy in your arms. 

And when you wake up to a text message from Jon, attached is a video of you and landos reunion he recorded secretly, you smile, cropping the video properly to post on your instagram story.

Posted is a small 10 second clip of Lando realizing you were standing in front of him, then showing the hug you two shared. Rocking back and forth as intelligible murmurs are exchanged between you two. 

captioned for you, anywhere, anytime. 

Twenty two - a handprint on her heart

The sun was shining down on your face as you perched yourself on a lounge chair on the exquisite yacht you get to call home for the summer break. You sported a bright orange bikini as you read your book while you listened to the waves below you.

It was peaceful, until you heard the stomps of two smaller people, followed by the stomps of a bigger person. You looked to the door to see Mila and Athena squealing as they ran around the deck, followed by none other than your boyfriend, who was chasing them, pretending he was a sea monster. 

“Look! There's auntie, she’ll save us," Mila shouts as the two girls make a beeline for you. You quickly place your book down so the girls can climb on top of you, hiding from their overly enthusiastic uncle. 

“Ohh auntie can't save you now! She's on my side” he says playfully while you begin to tighten your grip around the girls, not strong enough to hurt them, but tight enough to where they would struggle to break free. 

The girls giggle as Lando ‘rounds the couch, the girls wiggling in your arms, sounding cries of betrayal while you laugh at the trio's antics. He makes it to your pile of laughter and starts tickling the two girls until they are breathless.

Once he ceases the tickles attack, you let the girls free. They hop to the ground, their baby feet bouncing off the deck as they make their escape from the tickle monster, but to you he's just lando. 

Lando lets out a sigh as he sets himself down on the couch next to you, placing his arms around your shoulder. You had been on this yacht for a week and he had already worked up a tan, he looked divine, the sun hitting his face perfectly as he turned to look at you before placing a kiss on your temple. 

“y’know, it’ll be nice when we have our own munchkins running around a yacht one day” he says, far too casually, as his hand traces your shoulder. You both knew you wanted kids, but also knew being twenty two, in the height of landos career was not the right time for either of you to even think about creating your own bundle of love. 

Before you could respond to him, Max waltz’s his way onto the deck, sunglasses propped on his face as he spots you two. “Don't you two look cozy” he jokes, acting like you two haven't been head over heels for each other since you were small. It was a running joke for years, Max loves to tease you two about anything and everything.

Today was no different 

“oi! LN,” he says, lightly smacking landos sunburnt shoulder, causing the brunette to wince. “When are you proposing, I've got bets placed man!” he says with a faux serious tone. 

You giggle at him, you had discussed this before, you had an list of milestones that you and lando wanted to complete in a specific order

Championship

Marriage

Kids 

“You act like we haven’t basically been married for years max” you say, playfulness evident in your tone as Lando pulls you closer by the shoulder. Lando knew Max was just joking, but deep down part of him did want to forgo the list years ago and just make you his wife.

He's known since before you were officially dating that he’d marry you, it was obvious to him, you were the only option. The only person he saw his future with, the woman he goes home to, the mother of his children, you checked all the boxes of perfection and he was anxious to put a rock on your finger to solidify it for eternity. Devoting himself to you completely. 

Lando observes as you and Max move onto a different topic, he observes every detail about you, the way your nose crinkles when you smile, how your freckles pop when you spend more time in the sun, the way you always manage to speak with a heartwarming smile etched onto your face. It made him dizzy the way he knew you better than he knew himself. You were his everything, there is no lando without you. 

“Lan baby, you with us?” you ask, noticing he spaced out slightly. Nodding he smiles, placing a kiss on your hand, interlaced with his.

“Yeah, just thinkin’” he says simply, thinking for a moment before he taps your shoulder, 

“Wanna go for a walk?”

– 

You walked down the side of the boat, your fingers interlocked as the sun casted a golden light on your skin. Lando rubbed his thumb over your knuckles as you walked to the edge of the boat, overseeing the mediterranean behind you. 

Lando is quiet for a moment, his eyes following the horizon while he thinks. You can see in his eyes he's piecing his sentencing together but struggling– after a while, he speaks up. 

“Max got me thinking,” he pauses, taking a deep breath “I wanna change the list.” 

Your heart stops, looking up at him to find anything on his face that says he's joking, you meet his eyes already looking at you, 

“Are you serious?”

He chuckles, running a nervous hand through his hair, “I've never been more serious about anything in my life baby,” you feel tears welling up in your waterline. “I've known my whole life that I wanted to marry you, I don't want to let a championship decide when.” 

He brings a hand up to cup your cheek, your bottom lip trembling while he continues. 

“You're it for me baby, I can’t remember what my life was like without you in it and I don't want to have to learn. You know me better than I know myself, I am hopelessly in love with you and there's nothing that will ever change that,” you were full on crying now, he takes a moment to collect his thoughts, 

“–loving you is my greatest achievement, no championship could ever come close to how i feel about you,” Lando feels a lump form in his throat as he tries to finish his mini speech before he becomes emotional. 

“Let's get married” 

You cry softly before you cry out a yes and Lando feels a surge of love flow through him. 

“Yeah?” he smiles so wide as you nod, tears freely flowing down both your faces as he pulls you into an earth shattering kiss.

He kisses you like you’re his last breath of fresh air— soft and sensual, holding your face with such gentle care like you’d break if he let go. 

You pull away for air, giggling into each other's lips, stealing more kisses as the sun begins to set over the sea. The air felt warmer as you kissed your fiancè, you kissed him again, and again, you kissed him so many times you forgot where you were. 

That was until Lando pulled away sharply with a gasp. “Wait here” he mumbles before he takes off running back into the yacht, you take a seat while you wait for him to return, slightly confused to where he ran off to. 

Moments later he comes back, hands held behind his back as he makes his way over to you, a cheeky smile spread across his tanned face. 

“I'm sorry, your actual ring is at home.” you choose to ignore that fact for the time being. “But I do have this,” he chuckles as he pulls a small ring pop from behind his back. 

You laugh at the small candy as he opens it, placing it on your left ring finger, placing another kiss to your lips, you throw yourself into his arms, returning the kiss in full force. 

“It's perfect, thank you.” you mumble into his mouth. 

He rests his forehead against yours, his green eyes pouring into yours— a window to his soul showing nothing but love for you as he pulls you closer, his smile giddy. “We're getting married!!” he exclaims, you both giggle as you revel in being newly engaged. 

You think back to when you were kids, before the fancy cars and extravagant races, you loved him before he made a name for himself, before the outside voices. When it was just you two on a karting track, nobody watching to see where he goes next. 

you will continue to love him in the highs and lows of his career, as he shows the world what he's truly made of. You will forever be there, holding his hand, being his first phone call. Continuing to support him throughout it all, believing in his dreams as they’ve now become yours. 

You will love him when it's over, when it's just you two in the quiet mornings, for when you have nowhere to be. When you're old and grey living in the countryside in London, hand in hand on the porch side of your family home, grandkids running around in the yard. 

Like a handprint over your heart, Lando had plastered himself over every inch of your existence. His love hidden in plain sight of places you’ve yet to even realize. you loved this boy with every fiber of your being, and you would love him in every universe, in every past life and through the next. 

You will love him anywhere, anytime. 

~~

i hope u enjoyed, thank u so much for reading <3

[rafelandia]

Two Babies (dad!Rafe Cameron x fem!reader)

Word Count: 5.4k

Warnings: angst, mentions of smut, pregnancy

Summary: Y/N is pregnant again before she’s ready.

Author's Note: Hello! Please enjoy my first Rafe one shot. I would love to expand on this couple so if you have any requests or any blurbs you'd like me to explore, please send me a message! As always, likes and reblogs are much appreciated - it helps more than you know. Happy reading :)

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my favorite tiny human,” the pediatrician chimed as she kicked the door to the small examination room shut with her sneaker.

“You must say that to all of the parents that you see,” Y/N blushed, unable to hide the smile that tugged on the corners of her lips.

“I do, but this is one of the rare times when I actually mean it. Those blonde curls! Are you freakin' kidding me?”

She padded over to the miniature exam table to get a better look at the infant that was lying contently on her back and chewing on her pudgy albeit still tiny fingers. 

“Let’s take a look at how you’re doing, sweet pea.”

The doctor, Melanie, lifted the stethoscope that was looped around her neck and placed it into her ears. Listening to the baby’s heartbeat to check for any abnormalities, she couldn’t help but give a sympathetic frown when the tiny girl under her tensed up from the cool touch of the metal.

“Nurse’s notes say she’s put on quite a bit. She’s finally caught up to her age group in weight. I’m assuming breastfeeding is going better for you both now?”

Melanie lovingly squeezed the extra chub around the baby girl's thighs.

“Yeah. We don’t really use bottles anymore. Finally got her to latch on and now it seems like all she wants to do it eat,” Y/N chuckled.

“Good! That’s good. There’s nothing wrong with formula like we talked about, so don't overexert yourself if becomes too demanding. Breastfeeding is cheaper though," Melanie chucked, though in her head she was kicking herself. As if this family is in any need to save money. "Is she hitting the milestones? Rolling over? Propping her head up? Babbling a bit?” she continued.

“Babbling, definitely. She keeps us up sometimes because we can hear her talking to herself through the monitor at night,” Y/N poked her tongue out at her daughter in an attempt to get her to smile.

“Having a bit of trouble propping herself up though. She can only do it for a little bit and then she’ll give up. She’s got Rafe's big head, so I’m sure it’s a bit of a struggle.”

Melanie laughed loudly at the mention of her patient’s father, admiring Y/N's wittiness even in the absence of her husband. Given the reputation of the Cameron family, others might think the couple were all work and no play, but Melanie had the privilege of getting to know them behind closed doors. While they took doctor's visits seriously, always paying close attention to what the doctors and nurses had to say regarding the health of their firstborn, her experience with the Cameron's changed her outlook completely. Y/N and Rafe were warm, welcoming, and quite funny sometimes - always making jests at each other or sharing little tid-bits of what their life is like at home. She wished everyone could see them this way. Melanie really wasn't lying when she doted on the little girl, they were the best.

“She’ll get to it eventually. All babies are different. She seems to be coming along quite nicely, though. Nothing abnormal or anything to fuss about. A perfectly healthy six-month-old in my book.”

Y/N sighed in relief, though she knew there was nothing to worry over to begin with.

“How’s mum doing? You taking care of yourself, too? You’re just as important as baby.”

“When I can. Rafe's really good with her. He’ll take over when he sees me struggling, but it seems like she only wants me these days. Think I might be coming down with something, though. I’ve been feeling awful for a few weeks. Like I got hit by a train. I keep reminding myself to go get checked out, but I always get distracted taking care of her,” Y/N gestured to her daughter that was now drooling onto the parchment liner and staring up at the ceiling as if there was something ornately interesting about the popcorn texture that had been stippled onto it.

“When you say, ‘hit by a train,’ what do you mean? I can examine you here if you’d like. As long as it’s nothing serious, I can send you something off to the pharmacy.”

Melanie re-fastened the snaps on the infant’s onesie, making sure not to pinch her chunky legs and placed her back into her mother’s lap.

“Ummm,” Y/N began, “Just extra drained, I guess? Kinda nauseous. I’ve been getting migraines a lot and even when I do get a good night’s rest, I still feel like I could go back to bed for the rest of the day. Maybe I’m just exhausted, I don’t really know. But it just feels a bit different than being worn out like I have been before.”

She could see the wheels in Melanie's head turning, noting each of her symptoms and trying to align them in a path that would lead her to the root of the problem.

“Can I ask you something that might be a bit personal?”

Y/N nodded, rubbing her fingers absentmindedly along the bridge of her daughter’s socked foot.

“Have you and Rafe been intimate since she was born?”

She was taken aback by the question, not understanding where Melanie was going with this or why it was relevant.

“Umm,” Y/N stuttered, feeling a static-y surge of embarrassment travel up her neck and onto the sides of her face, “Yeah. We have.”

A whole fucking lot ever since I’ve been cleared for it, Y/N thought, but kept to herself.

“And can you tell me when your last menstrual cycle ended?”

Then it clicked. She genuinely couldn’t recall her most recent period and even the thought of what Melanie was alluding to made her stomach twist into thousands of tiny knots.

“I- I don’t know. I’ve been so busy with her I don’t even really think about what’s going on with me half of the time.”

Y/N tried to make excuses, anything to avoid the obvious, but judging from the quizzical look on her daughter’s pediatrician’s face, she knew exactly where this was going.

“There’s no way,” she whispered, “I can’t be.”

Melanie's face dropped, now tender and apologetic when she realized that this was news Y/N was not ecstatic to hear.

“I know I’m a pediatrician, so that’s obviously the first thing my mind goes to, but can we at least get you to take a blood test? That way we’ll know for sure?”

//

Rafe came home to a quiet house. It wasn’t unusual, but seeing as it was well after six o’clock in the evening and his wife wasn’t in the kitchen making the pasta dish she'd been dying for all week was. Their grocery store had been out of her favorite canned tomatoes for over a week and she’d nearly tackled Rafe to the ground out of excitement when he’d come home from the grocery store with them the night before. Had he not seen her car in the driveway, he probably wouldn’t have even suspected her to be home.

He checked the living room first, and it was desolate apart from the baby pink, quilted playmat on the floor that was littered with a few of his daughter’s favorite rattles and teethers. Y/N's coat and purse were abandoned haphazardly on the couch, almost as if she tossed it aside in a hurry to get somewhere.

“Baby?” Rafe called out.

Nothing.

His head peaked into the nursery, stealthily and quietly in preparation to walk in on his daughter taking her scheduled nap before her actual bedtime. He’d gotten good at hushing his footfalls to almost complete silence as to not wake her, having made that mistake more than a handful of times. 

And he was right. There she was, sprawled out in her crib with her arms outstretched over her head like a tiny starfish. Her chubby cheeks were smushed against her bicep, drawing her lips open the tiniest bit so that Rafe could see the tops of her fleshy, pink gums and the barely-there nub of her first tooth peeking through. More than anything, he wanted to wake her up - lift her from the plush mattress and cuddle her close, shower her with kisses and tickle her with his scruff to hear those baby squeals he adored so much, but he needed to find Y/N first.

She had to be in their bedroom, he thought to himself. Maybe she was taking advantage of their baby girl napping to also get some rest. She had been rather exhausted lately. Maybe she’d had a rough day and was relaxing in the clawfoot, porcelain bathtub that had been the selling point of the home they now lived in. The houses on Figure Eight were lavish, but not all of the bathtubs were - at least that's what Y/N told Rafe. Who was he to question his bride?

Turns out he was right again. Like he had done with the nursery, he held the metal doorknob tightly in his grip to keep the hinges from creeking and pressed it open gently. The room was completely dark, but he could make out the lump underneath the duvet on their king-sized bed as his wife. 

Good. She was sleeping. 

He padded across the hardwood floor, still being as quiet as he could until he crossed the threshold of the bathroom. There, he rid himself of the uncomfortable clothes he’d been wearing all day. Curse these professional business meetings that forced him to dress nicely. 

All throughout the meetings, he wanted nothing more than to be home with his wife and baby, cuddling the afternoon away and watching shitty reality television while his daughter cooed and grunted and gurgled in her baby voice that he loved so much and could listen to all day. He wasn't always this way - he used to love this shit, but something inside him changed indefinitely when his daughter was born. Rafe was a softy now and he wasn't afraid to admit it. Maybe it was the fact that he’d been having to partake in these boring work meetings a lot more lately, which caused him to miss even the smallest aspects of his everyday life like changing diapers or checking the baby monitor eight hundred times throughout the day to make sure his daughter was still breathing. Perhaps he’d just been getting sentimental because she was growing so much these days, but it was an unpleasant feeling nonetheless.

His thoughts were interrupted when he deposited his heavy watch into the dish he kept on the counter and he heard a quiet yet still prominent sniffle among the clattering of metal against the glass dish.

“Baby? You awake?” Rafe peaked his head out from beyond the bathroom door. 

He saw her body shift under the covers, but she gave no response. So he called out again.

“You sick or something? Can hear you sniffling."

Nothing.

Pivoting back around to the inside of the bathroom, he quickly shut off the light and carried himself over to her side of the bed where he could see her properly. Her face was tucked into her chin and all that was visible to him was the top of her head.

“Hey,” Rafe cooed, petting what he could reach of her hair and speaking even gentler than he had been, “What’s wrong?”

And that’s when he heard it - an almost inaudible choking sound of Y/N trying to catch her breath that immediately let him know she wasn’t sick. She had been crying.

“Whoa, baby,” he was already pulling the covers back with force, honestly not caring whether or not she minded the intrusion.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

She was emotionless when he saw what little he could her face, her puffy, bloodshot eyes and swollen lips illuminated by the hallway light being the only indicator that she was upset. She didn’t even react to Rafe tugging her head out from where it had been buried in the covers, simply rolling onto her back to stare idly at the ceiling.

“Y/N,” he called for his wife again, this time much more stern, “You’ve got to talk to me.”

She took several deep breaths through her nose, allowing her lungs to fill to their maximum capacity before exhaling with a sigh. Rafe could have sworn she was sucking all of the oxygen out of the room along with his patience each time she did so. 

After what felt like ages, she parted her lips to speak.

“I went to the doctor today.” 

“Yeah? For the six-month check up, right?” Rafe asked, not seeing why that was important but his mind quickly went to the worst scenario possible despite having just seen his daughter sleeping peacefully in her crib. He cut his eyes towards the hallway in the direction of her nursery before looking back to Y/N.

“Is she alright?” his voice now demanding urgency in the delivery of her response.

“She’s fine,” she quickly dismissed him, internally kicking herself for making Rafe worry.

“I was telling Melanie about how sick I’ve been lately and she -,” Y/N gulped and rubbed her knuckles against her tired eyes, bracing herself for whatever events unfolded after she said what she was about to say.

“She, umm. She made me take a pregnancy test.”

Now it was Rafe turn to be speechless. He stared at her with furrowed brows and his mouth slightly agape. His palms suddenly felt clammy against the white sheets that they rested on and his stomach felt like it had turned in on itself from how badly it was churning. Of all of the things he had expected to be wrong with her, this was certainly the last on the list. 

“And?” he asked after what felt like an eternity of staring at her and saying absolutely nothing, though he already knew the answer.

“Ten weeks.”

Silent tears now spilled over her eyes and down past her temples. She couldn’t even be bothered to wipe them, instead letting them dampen a small patch of hair on either side of her head. Pregnancies weren’t supposed to be sad, but somehow, she had barely been able to stop crying since she left the pediatrician’s office.

“How,” Rafe whispered, moreso to himself than to her.

“I think you know how babies are made, Rafe” Y/N quipped.

“That's not what I meant,” Rafe fired back just as quickly, “It’s just...She’s still so little.”

He thought of his daughter asleep in the next room. She was the most perfect thing he’s ever seen and on the day that she was born, he knew he wanted nothing more than to fill his and Y/N’s house with as many blonde, chubby babies as he could fit beds in each room. He just hadn’t expected that his only child’s first birthday present would be the gift of being a big sister. 

It was all too sudden.

“I just don’t know how I didn’t see it sooner. I mean,” Y/N raised her arms above her head before huffing and letting them fall to her sides, “I guess I was just so caught up with the baby that I hadn’t even had a second to think about what’s going on with me. It’s like I don’t even matter anymore and I-”

“Hey, hey now. Don't do that,” Rafe shushed her and curled up next to her frame as she began to sob.

He tucked her head into his neck, hugging her chest tightly as if he was trying to hold the pieces of her together before she shattered. His mind was running a mile per minute. It killed him to see her like this, killed him to be in this situation. The last time they had found out this news, there were happy tears - tears of shock and excitement about taking the next step in building a family. Never had he imagined that the next time they were presented with the very same news, that there would be tears of sadness.

Her voice was muffled against his now wrinkled button-down, but he could still make out what she was saying beneath her blubbers.

“I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean, honey? Of course you can. I can take more time off work like last time and let the boys handle everything for a bit. I know it's not ideal, but we’ll be alright,” he ran his hand up and down her arm in an attempt to soothe her.

“That’s the problem, Rafe.”

He lifted his chin from here it was resting on the top of her head to look down at her.

“What?”

“It's not ideal. You've only just now gotten back to work full time. You said everything almost fell apart while you were gone. It would fuck everything up. Plus, she's only six months old, Rafe. I can't go through that again so soon."

Rafe paused to break away from her and sit up straight against the headboard, “Are you serious? Of course I can take more time off work. You are more important than anything that could possibly be going on at the office.” He was a bit stunned by her words. She almost sounded annoyed, which didn't sit quite right with Rafe.

“But do you see what’s happening? Everything is fucked.”

His voice wasn’t so calm anymore.

“No, Y/N. I honestly don’t. I mean I know this is all happening much earlier than we expected, but what else is there to do? Will you please tell me what you're getting at, because I’m starting to get upset.” 

Rafe's lips were pressed in a thin, straight line and his nostrils flared with every breath. Why was she being like this? 

“I don’t know what I’m fucking getting at. I’m just overwhelmed."

“And you think I’m not? I'm trying my best to keep it together for your sake if you haven’t noticed,” it almost condescending the way the words rolled off his tongue.

“Oh, excuse me,” Y/N laughed sarcastically.

“Didn’t realize you were the one that's pregnant. Didn’t realize you’re the one that has to grow all big and gross and swollen and be in pain every fucking day to the point where walking to the bathroom feels like a fucking marathon. Didn’t realize you’re the one that has to feel like you're burning alive from the inside out for hours and then just have to lay there while a doctor you’ve never seen before stitches you up because it literally tore your insides apart. Didn’t realize you-”

“For fuck’s sake, I get it!” Rafe was yelling now. They hadn't argued like this since they were much younger, and he absolutely hated it.

“It’s not the same and I’m sorry for suggesting that it was. I'm not sure what you want me to say though. I’m sorry? Is that it? Sorry for getting you pregnant? Sorry for having a job that helps us get anything we want for ourselves and our family? Sorry that I do everything I possibly can to keep you and the baby and everyone else on the fucking planet happy?”

“You’re being an asshole, Rafe,” she was just as angry as he was, scowl evident on her face even in their dimly lit bedroom.

“And you’re not making any fucking sense! Are you telling me you don’t want to keep it? Because I never fucking said that you have to.”

The thought had crossed her mind on the drive home from the doctor’s office, but the feeling left as quickly as it approached. She’d taken one look at her daughter in her car seat through the rear view mirror happily sucking on her teether and knew without a doubt that she couldn’t.

She felt a tidal wave of fresh, salty tears peaking and about to crash over her.

“I don’t want - fuck,” she put her head in her hands. 

“I just-,” and then she broke.

Sobs wracked her body, making her shoulders shake up and down. She wasn’t even sure how she had any more left to get out, but it just kept coming. Over and over and over again until it felt like she was being suffocated and that no one was going to save her. She felt Rafe's hands move to rest on her shoulder blades and heard gentle, cooing-like sounds coming out of his mouth, but she couldn’t make out what he had said over the sounds of her own wailing.

“Baby, it’s okay. Just breathe. It’s alri-”

His attempt at subduing her was cut short by shrill cries coming from the digital monitor that sat on their nightstand. Rafe peeked over his shoulder at the screen, seeing that their daughter had woken from her nap and was now demanding the attention of her parents. He couldn’t help but wince as he watched her socked feet flail around in the crib; it was without a doubt that the screaming match they’d just had that stirred her from her sleep, and that hurt him just as much as it did to see his wife crying right in front of him.

Y/N heard it too, somehow. Perhaps it was because she’d been trained to react to every minute sound that she made and could recognize her cries from a mile away in the paralyzing fear that something was wrong with her or maybe it was because she looking for any and every excuse to get Rafe's hands off of her so she could get away from him and escape the argument they’d just had without making the situation any worse than it already was. Regardless, she turned her own neck to peer at the monitor and sighed heavily.

“I’ll go, Y/N. Just stay here.”

“No. I got it. It’s after seven. She’s probably hungry.”

She shrugged Rafe's hands away from her shoulders like his touch physically pained her and climbed over his body and off the bed without another word, not even giving Rafe the chance to take her hand and help her over the edge of the mattress. He knew she wasn’t going anywhere but down the hall and into the nursery, but he couldn’t help but feel like she was walking away from everything.

//

Y/N stared her daughter while she nursed. She started from the top of her head that was riddled with sandy blonde curls and worked her way down to the tips of her toes that would occasionally flex themselves out of habit. Her hair? Undoubtedly Rafe's. Her eyes? A perfect, entrancing shade of blue akin to Rafe's. Her lips? The same almost inhuman shade of fleshy pink, just like Rafe's. Surprisingly, the only physical trait she’d inherited from her mother was her nose, which was funny considering that Y/N had always hated hers.

She was content, suckling away at Y/N’s breast - her cries of hunger long forgotten. The infant hadn’t even flinched when a few more of Y/N’s silent, cold tears spilled over and left small wet spots where her onesie rested over her belly. She had no idea that her parents were upset with each other and she had no idea that in a little more than six months time, she’d be a big sister and there would be two babies fighting for their attention. Y/N was also clueless, but only as to how she was going to take care of a newborn and a one-year-old simultaneously. She’d always thought she’d have more time than this - more time to spend with just her daughter and Rafe before they decided to have another, but just like her eyes, things always had a funny way of never working out in her favor.

Three soft knocks on the wall withdrew her from her thoughts and she was greeted by her husband idling in the doorway like he needed permission before entering a room in his own house. It was off seeing Rafe Cameron this way - being the one with his tail tucked beneath his legs. It was usually the opposite. He had changed out of his work clothes and was now clad in his favorite pair of sweats that were permanently stained with spit-up. Y/N had tried everything under the sun to get the spots out, but he’d been persistent on not throwing them out.

“Can I come in?”

His voice was barely above a whisper and much calmer than when he’d been yelling at her about twenty minutes ago. He still hesitated crossing the threshold even after Y/N had given him a skeptical nod, but allowed his bare feet to pad over the plush carpet as he joined her on the loveseat in the far corner of the nursery.

He watched their daughter just as Y/N had, taking in her tranquil state as her fingers brushed reflexively against the underside of Y/N’s breast. He’d never been able to pry his eyes away every time he watched her nurse. There were no ulterior motives behind it whatsoever. It amazed him each and every time, how Y/N was able to provide their child with everything that they needed to grow with only her body. At first, Y/N hated that Rafe loved sitting in on her feedings, feeling exposed and unattractive despite Rafe's continuous affirmations that it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever had the privilege of witnessing, but over time she’d grown fond of it.

“I'm sorry for yelling at you,” Rafe started.

“It was uncalled for,” she quipped.

Y/N sniffled, rubbing her swollen eyes with the back of her free hand that wasn’t supporting her daughter’s back as she held her.

“It’s okay. It was a lot to take in. I’m sorry for yelling at you too.”

She couldn’t quite look him in the eye just yet, but she was slowy but surely getting there.

“It's not okay, actually. You’re right. I’m not the one having the baby. It’s you that’s got to do all the hard stuff and I know how scary it was last time. I should've been more considerate before jumping the gun.”

He shifted towards her on the cushions, afraid to touch her just yet but still yearning to be closer to her.

The best Y/N could muster was a quiet, “Thank you,” before she busied herself by attempting to run her fingers through her baby’s hair and untangle the mess she’d created while she was sleeping.

“Can I hold you? Please?” his voice was quiet and pleading.

Now was when she turned to face him and she was met with eyes that were just as red-rimmed as hers. She had heard the bathroom sink running for an abnormally long amount of time and a hard, frustrated pounding against the wall shortly after she’d gone off in the nursery to feed the baby, which meant he must have been trying to muffle the sounds of his own crying when she left their bedroom.

Y/N didn’t say anything, only shifting her weight onto one side so Rafe could easily lift her onto his lap in one swift movement without disturbing their daughter. He tucked her shoulder into his neck and softly kissed her skin and his hands moved to mimic hers so they were both holding the baby that was nodding off again in their arms. She found herself relaxing into his loose grip, her head tilting to the side to rest against his. 

“I love you so much. You know that? I’d drop everything for you if I had to. I don't care about any of it anymore.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” she refuted, but there was no malice in her tone.

“I wouldn’t let you. You try to play it cool and I know that things are different now, but I also know that deep down you really like what you do.” The corner of Rafe's lips turned upwards, suppressing a chuckle at the fact that she really does know him that well.

“Well, just know that I would if you wanted me to. I’ve thought about it a thousand times. I want to be here for you. For her. Don’t want to miss anything. I finally got my shot at being normal when I met you and I hate myself sometimes when I think about all of the bullshit I've put you through.”

“Don’t,” Y/N paused to press a chaste kiss to Rafe's cheek.

“You’re a good person, Rafe's. A good dad. A good husband. Please don’t ever think that you’re not.”

She felt moisture pool in the dips of her collarbones where Rafe's chin lied, but she didn’t acknowledge it.

“I’ll be okay. Sorry if I freaked you out earlier. Think I just need some time to get used to it all. Just wasn’t expecting Melanie to drop the ball that I was pregnant when all I was expecting was for her to tell me that our kid is in the 99th percentile for weight and then send me on my way.”

This got a chuckle out of him, almost causing him to choke on his tears. He quickly rubbed the sleeves of his sweatshirt against his eyes to dry up any remaining wet spots on his face. 

“She is pretty chunky, isn’t she?” Rafe jested while thumbing over his daughter’s rounded tummy.

After a moment of admiring their little chunk of a baby, with her milk-drunk eyes and puckered lips, Rafe spoke again.

“Two babies,” he huffed.

“Two babies,” she repeated.

His hands moved to caress Y/N’s stomach. She wasn’t showing yet considering that neither of them had even known Y/N was pregnant until today, but he still held her like her belly was the size of a watermelon and he was waiting anxiously to feel a hand or a foot press up against his palm.

“Might be kinda nice. They can share everything and we’ll only have to have one birthday party because they’ll be born around the same time. They’ll go to the same school and probably have the same friends. Kinda like twins.”

“Are you hearing yourself? Rafe Cameron? The party connoisseur? Suggesting his two precious babies share a birthday party?”

Rafe pursed his lips and blushed, recalling the fact that he'd already planned his daughter's first birthday in his head. Down to the tablecloth colors and dinnerware.

“Got me there,” Rafe chuckled.

Their banter was interrupted by a grueling rumbling sound coming from Y/N’s stomach that Rafe could feel throughout his entire body.

“Jesus, Y/N. You hungry too? When’s the last time you ate?”

“Uhh...this morning I think?” Y/N sighed.

“Couldn’t stomach anything when I got home.”

Rafe's heart dropped when he thought of how distraught she’d been all day while he was gone and with everything in him, he’d wished he would have postponed his meetings to go to check up with her and they could have found out together.

“Found those tomatoes at the store the other day, remember? Want me to make that pasta for you?”

“Ohh, yes please,” she immediately perked up at the thought.

“Starting to wonder if that was a craving now that I think about it. Didn’t we have it, what? Three nights in a row a while back?” she proposed.

Rafe giggled as he reluctantly removed Y/N from his lap and stood up from the sofa.

“Thought it was a bit weird that you wanted it so badly, but I know better than to question you.”

“She’s going back down. If you give me a minute, I’ll come downstairs and help you,” Y/N said, pulling up the straps of her tank top after realizing her daughter had long since forgotten about her breast and was conked out in her arms.

“I've got it, mama” Rafe quickly refuted. “Take a bath or something and I’ll bring it up when it’s done.”

“Okay.”

Y/N couldn’t fight the grin growing on her face at the nickname Rafe used that she still hadn’t gotten used to.

When she placed their daughter soundly in her crib, Y/N’s fingers stayed put from where they sat on the railing as she caught herself staring at the sleeping infant once more. Though she’d felt like her world was caving in on her just a handful of hours ago, the pieces were all coming back together now. 

Of course, she wanted more children with Rafe. And now she was getting what she wanted. Just like he’d told her back in the bedroom, it wasn’t ideal, but they’d make it work. They always did. 

With two babies.

[bvidzsoo]

You can run but you can't hide

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: vampire hunter!Jeong Yunho x vampire!female reader

𓇬 Warning: rather suggestive, gore, blood, violence, death, murder, lot's of blood drinking, manhandling, toxic relationship, lots of hate ngl, maybe some medical inaccuracies, slight power dynamic? 𓇬 Word count: 25.8k 𓇬 Rating: mature 𓇬 Genre: vampire x vampire hunter romance, enemies to lovers, they've known each other for centuries, modern time setting, doctor!reader, cop!Yunho, smut, angst 𓇬 Summary: You thought your life ended with your sister's, but then you realised there was nothing sweeter than revenge. Finding the vampire hunter who had killed your sister proved to be easier than you had first anticipated, but you changed your plans last minute. Walking away after turning him into a vampire wasn't your smartest move, and you'd learn to profusely regret it.

A/N: Oh my, oh my, lovelies I'm back! Starting off the new year with this monster of a oneshot? Yup, this took me like two weeks to write, and I hope it's good and that you'll love it! ^^ I'm working on a Mingi mini-series, so look out for that! Let me know if I didn't tag something, and let me know what you thought of this piece! I appreciate your feedback lots. <3 I hope y'all had a lovely weekend, and honestly, huge shootout to @spiralala because if they didn't send in that ask, this oneshot wouldn't exist lmao, so if you read this, I hope you enjoy it! Man, my gallery is a shrine of Yunho performing that Oz thingy, istg I have a problem but he looked so hot that day ugh...see y'all again soon! ^^ divider

1822

            There was nothing more pleasant than hearing the writhing man’s moans on the floor, his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he clutched his forearm. His face was bruised from the blows he had taken prior, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth as his smooth light blue velvet suit was all muddy and torn. The violin in the distance created a haunting ambivalence with the rattling wind, chilling you down to the bone…if you could feel it. I circled the man, his left hand still tightly clutching his silver stake, and a malicious chuckle tumbled past my lips. He looked pathetic laying in his own pool of blood, his pride not letting him beg for his life…yet. I could make any man beg; he wasn’t different. Once the venom started spreading through his bloodstream, he’d be screaming for me to put him out of his misery. If he begged nicely, I might make his demise quicker than planned.

“Look at you,” I snarled, lips curling into a disgusted smile as he blindly whacked his hand out, trying to aim for me uselessly, “So pathetic, so frail, so…human. Weren’t those serums supposed to make you strong?”

The man heaved a sharp breath, his eyes snapping open. They were hazy and painted with pain, but the fire was still rampant in them, furious, and so ready to wreak havoc…if only he could, “I’m-I’m going to—ugh—I will kill you, monster.”

“Yeah? You will?” I chuckled, giving his torso a good kick, making the man cry out in pain. He tried to pull his legs to his chest, still gripping his silver stake, sweat beading his bruised face. He breathed through his mouth, his right hand convulsing as his jaw clenched, “When? Are you sure you can do that right now, darling?”

“Don’t—” But he couldn’t speak as a yell tore through his lips, his whole face going beat red as he trashed around on the cold forest floor. The leaves had long died, and snow was supposed to fall anytime. I watched as the man tried to regain some sanity, but his veins started blackening. The venom was spreading, once it reached his heart, he was a gone man.

“Don’t what?” I hissed, grabbing the layers of my skirt and bunching them up so that I could crouch down next to him. He tried stabbing at me pathetically, barely able to lift his arm anymore, so I kicked the stake out of his hand, sending it flying into the tree closest to us. It stuck into it, my jaw clenched as I watched it, wondering just how many of my fellow vampires’ lives it had taken. The man at my mercy was a vicious hunter, the best in their coven, and he had taken my sister’s life. He deserved no mercy nor forgiveness, and none would be given to him tonight. He had messed with the wrong vampire, I shall not stop until my sister is avenged, “I’ve dreamed of this moment, hunter. Want to know why?”

He spluttered words intangibly, and I gripped his thick black hair to yank his head back. His eyes flew open and he tried to trash away from me, but the venom had his body mobilized, “You think I don’t know?”

His words were barely a whisper, his throat no doubt on fire. His sheer willpower was impressive, others would’ve already succumbed to the excruciating pain. My eyebrows furrowed slightly, curious as much as confused. How could a mere mortal hold on for so long? I would’ve found it impressive if it was anyone else.

“Yeri.” The utterance of my sister’s name brought a painful stab to my frozen heart as if I was the one stabbed to death by the vampire hunter at my mercy. Her name leaving his lips felt like a sin, it made bile rise in my throat as my hands started shaking, paralyzing anger streaming through my bloodstream. He had no right saying her name, his smug smile despite the painful wince burned into the back of my mind. I moved fast without thinking, gripping his jaw into a crushing hold as the hunter’s eyes widened. He didn’t look confident anymore, a shuddering breath left his lips as his body started trembling. My sharp nails dug into his skin to draw more blood, and I relished in the fire that burned through my body, leaving me even more hungry for revenge, for justice.

“You know what?” I whispered through gritted teeth as our eyes bled into each other’s, our faces mere inches away as I yanked him up effortlessly. He moaned in pain and clutched at his bleeding bite wound, his eyes slowly becoming bloodshot. Soon, he wouldn’t be able to see, “I was going to kill you, to end your pathetic existence for once and for all.”

He gulped nervously, but he showed no fear on his face, making me even angrier that he was still holding out, acting like this was nothing. I wanted him to scream in pain, to beg for his life, and promise he’d do anything for me if I kept him alive…but the vampire hunter remained true to the tales told about him around campfires. He was unafraid, dedicated, focused, fierce, and unapologetic. To think he could’ve lived for another day if he hadn’t fallen for my trap was almost satisfying enough. The ball was beautiful, people inside the castle were drunk, causing mayhem to their liking. The hunter had been part of the celebrating people before I managed to lure him away, far away from any prying eyes. He was strong and had managed to cut me here and there in our tousle, but it was nothing compared to the cuts I had given him. Cuts that would stay with him for eternity. I smirked, watching as life slowly drained from his once handsome face.

“But you made me realise something, hunter,” I paused, making sure he could still hear me as his heartbeat started vanning, “Letting you die is no punishment to someone like you, it’s an honour. And I cannot let you have it after what you’ve done to my sister, Yunho…no, I will turn you into the monster you’ve hated your whole life. I’ll create something you were taught to hate, to hunt. And I’ll enjoy every single moment of it, hunter.”

Nothing but Yunho’s widening eyes with fear and desperation could’ve given me this immense satisfaction I felt as my words dawned on him, words sputtering past his lips, intangible and breathy as he tried to grasp for his psyche. But he was far too gone to try and save himself now, and I closed my eyes to drink in the broken pleas falling off his lips, the begging and panic that coursed through his body, so delicious, so thrilling to take it all in. I bit my bottom lip as I felt my fangs shift, poking past my lip as Yunho shook his head furiously, his eyes filled with tears. Their redness blurred with his tears was almost beautiful.

“No, don’t do it—please,Y/N, you can’t—”

“I can’t?”

His screams fell to deaf ears as my fangs pierced the pale smooth skin of his neck, drinking his rich and warm blood…at least what was left of it. Feeling his lax body in my arms reminded me of my sister’s numb body, and I ignored the burning of my chest as I sucked the blood out of his system, only to replace it with a piece of mine, forever part of me for I was his creator and him my genesis.

Current time

            It had always amused me that despite all the monsters lurking in the shadows, humans never learned from their mistakes. Nighttime in a big city made no difference to the daytime, the wicked still prowled, catching the innocent in their web of lies and tricks. And due to that, the hospital never slept at night. The electronics’ low buzz was like a constant ringing in my ears, I could hear it even when I was far away from the hectic environment. My forehead creased as I read through another file, wondering where Yeosang had gone when we still had so many patients whose data wasn’t placed into our database. On a night like tonight, busier than usual, we were short on staff, so I had no choice but to help out with the administrative work if I wasn’t needed in the ER. My office was far away from the hustle and bustle of the emergency room, but still close enough that I was easily reachable in case of an emergency. The clock on the wall kept ticking, and my head had started aching at some point in the night. I still haven't gotten used to the fluorescent lights and the strong smell of sanitiser even after sixty years of being in the field. I was, however, thankful that I managed to get over my bloodthirst.

I cannot say there hadn’t been incidents when I had just started working as a doctor, but it was easily explainable if you knew how to cover your tracks. Besides, my coven was influential enough to get me out of trouble if I managed to mess up even after all these years of practice. I sighed and reached for my thermos, taking a sip of the salty fresh blood I had borrowed just at the beginning of my shift. Nobody would notice, there were enough blood donors daily, allowing me to take a few blood bags for myself and my coven. With the changing of times, we also had to change and accommodate to the modern world. Life was a lot easier now, and if you kept a low profile and knew the right people, staying under the radar wasn’t too difficult. If there was anything I missed from the eighteen hundreds, however, it was the possibility of coming and going without anyone keeping tabs on you. Social media was a fun thing that I couldn’t fully enjoy, not unless I wanted the leader of our coven breathing down my neck and locking me away for a century or two. So, empty and blank accounts were the only way to go by if I wanted to watch those stupid, but hilarious, reels that my coworkers sent to each other. Nobody was supposed to know, but I had one follower, and that was Yeosang, easily the first human I had actually grown to somehow care for.

He was adorable yet fierce, very loyal, and the hardest-working person I had come across in the few years I had been alive. But speaking of Yeosang, I glanced at the clock again and wondered if he had decided to take his much-needed break. It was close to midnight, he would usually join me at this hour and eat his meal in silence while I typed away on my computer. I pushed the glasses higher up on the bridge of my nose and focused back on my task, knowing it was best if I got this over with before the next influx of patients came. I wasn’t in the mood to work afterhours tonight, our leader had come up with a new tradition solely for her own enjoyment, and I needed every wink of sleep I could get if I wanted to sit through a night of nostalgic vampires conversing about the rottenness of our current world…as if we weren’t part of what made it worse. The clock to my left beeped and I jumped as the door of my office suddenly slammed open, Yeosang’s frantic eyes falling on me.

“Doctor!” For such an angelic face, it would surprise everyone when they first heard his deep voice, “We need you down, there was a shootout close by and several police officers were injured. You are needed to take care of the less serious ones.”

Well, duty calls then. I pressed the power off button of the screen and took my glasses off, closing the buttons of my white gown as I followed after Yeosang. His heart was beating fast as he dodged the few people in the hallway, hurriedly leading the way as I kept up with his pace. There was no reason for us to take the elevator, so we quickly ran down the stairs and headed for the ER, which was once again filled with patients in need.

“Doctor Bae!” The head doctor yelled once he noticed me, Yeosang and I headed over, “Room three is yours, we will send the patient in as soon as we’ve got his information noted down.”

I nodded and headed for the private rooms just past the doctor, eyes set on the third room. Yeosang ran ahead and pulled the door to the side for me, and I thanked him quietly as I rushed in to wash my hands and quickly wear clean glows. The screen on the wall beeped and I looked up at it, reading the extent of the cop’s injury. He was grazed by one bullet while he needed another one taken out, stitches no doubt necessary. I nodded to myself and was about to mentally map out my actions when the door was pulled to the side and Yeosang’s comforting voice flooded the room.

“Right here, Doctor Bae will now take care of you.” The man’s back was to me, and Yeosang was already at the door, “I’ll be back to assist you, Doctor, but I’m needed at the front desk still.”

I ushered him out with a flick of my wrist, knowing that I was capable of taking care of the patient on my own. This wasn’t my first time stitching up bullet wounds, besides, if the man was able to walk inside on his own, he was doing better than I had first expected. The examination room wasn’t too big, so it took me barely three steps to cross over and come to a standstill in front of the patient. Mouth opening to ask for the place of the injury, I froze when my eyes finally fell on his face. The silence was eery in the room as the man’s head raised, one reddish eye staring back at me widely. His heartbeat stuttered, and his blood smelt fresh and—alive. He wasn’t supposed to have a heartbeat. My mouth dropped open as my eyes ran over his face, trying to make sense of the situation. He looked the same as all those years ago. Youthful and handsome, slopping nose and pouty lips, cheeks flushed and jawline prominent. One eye, however, was hidden behind a black eye patch, his dark blue hair framing it so people wouldn’t stare at him. And yet, the sight of the vampire hunter wouldn’t have been so shocking if he didn’t feel so…human.

Without thinking, I grabbed his chin and tilted his head back, eyes tracking his smooth neck. The bitemark was gone since it wasn’t the first one on his body, long healed, yet the paleness and coldness of his skin felt familiar under my fingertips. His jaw had clenched as he yanked his head out of my grip, his expression transparent for once. He was seething, it was easy to see the hatred in his one eye…another telltale that he was a vampire, which left me confused as to why his heart was still beating.

“Look at you,” My voice was quiet, almost disbelieving as I let my eyes roam over his sturdy body, “I thought you would’ve killed yourself once you awakened as a vampire, but no, you’re living like all those monsters you hunted.”

His jaw clenched as I smirked, something heavy settling over my chest. Was it satisfaction? Then why did I not feel any pride gazing upon him? Wasn’t I supposed to feel smug and fulfilled that my creation was right in front of me? A successful transition was rare, sometimes the venom destroyed the human if they were too weak physically or mentally. I hadn’t even stuck around to make sure Yunho would indeed transform into a vampire, I wasn’t interested enough to see it to the end. The thought of knowing that I had made him suffer as much as I had suffered upon the loss of my sister was enough…it was everything I needed. So, seeing him now, the same body and soul I had drained the life from, why wasn’t I over the moon to know he had made it? That he was punished and living the nightmare I had trapped him inside of.

The shouting voices outside the room snapped me into action, I was a doctor first and foremost here, and he was my patient. I would’ve loved watching his blood dry out of his body as I made his bullet wound worse, but I would have lost everything I had built so far. Besides, he was a vampire, that wouldn’t kill him. I grabbed the hem of his leather jacket, intending to yank it off him, but suddenly long fingers were wrapped around my wrist.

“What are you doing?” Yunho hissed, his one eye narrowing suspiciously. I paused and raised an eyebrow.

“Patching you up, since I’m a Doctor…” I trailed off, letting it hang in the air as Yunho scoffed, his grip tightening around my wrist. It didn’t hurt, but it would’ve crushed my bone if I was a human, “Why are you bleeding? Vampires don’t bleed like this.”

But Yunho didn’t answer, he just pushed off the bed, towering over me. Any vampire hunter coven would’ve scrambled to have Yunho with them, he was practically designed to be one. Intimidatingly tall with a strong build, able to hunt and good at combat. He was fierce and fast, he was so quiet even the vampires failed to hear him coming. The serum his coven had forced him to drink only enhanced his skills, making him stronger and quicker than a human was supposed to be. He bled like any other one but his wounds healed faster, his grip was of iron, able to snap anyone’s neck in two. I wasn’t scared of him, not now, not back then. I had taken care of him once and showed him that he wasn’t untouchable nor undestroyable like he was made to believe. The pure rage I had felt back then was nothing but a simmer now, but it only needed a little timber to set it off once again, destroying anything in its path.

“I’m like this because of you.” Yunho was breathing hard as he grabbed my arm with his other hand, gripping it a bit too forcefully. I didn’t flinch as I stared up at him, trying to keep my satisfied smirk at bay. Provoking an irate vampire was never smart, especially not a stronger and bigger one, “I’ve been looking for you, Y/N, and I’m going to destroy you now that I’ve found you. You and your coven too.”

I chuckled cynically, grabbing his wrist to squeeze it until his hand turned blue from the loss of circulation, “Oh, really, now? Is that all you’ve got? An empty little threat? I’m so—”

But I never got to finish my taunting as I was flung into the nearest wall, the breath knocked from my lungs as I collided with the strong surface. I caught myself quickly, though, and looked at Yunho unimpressed. Was this the best he got? He had done more damage as a human compared to this.

“That’s not how you treat your doctor, Yunho, should I sedate you?” The brush of wind touched my cheek as Yunho stood in front of me once again, perhaps impressively fast. I smiled at him, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “Why don’t you sit down and—”

I gasped as my airways were constricted by a choking grip, the back of my head colliding with the wall as Yunho threw me up against it again, his fingers locked around my throat in a vice-like grip. My jaw clenched as I hissed at him, kneeling him in the groin. If this is how he wanted to play, I was going to give it to him. I kicked him in the stomach, sending him stumbling back as his eye narrowed again, darkness settling over it. I chuckled and ran towards him, throwing a punch that he easily dodged, but not so much the knee in his gut that had him groaning and hunching over. I chuckled and grabbed his hair, yanking his head back as he glared at me, “When will you learn that you can’t defeat me?”

Instead of an answer, an elbow came up and knocked my head back by the chin, making me bite my tongue painfully so. I hissed as my fangs poked past my bottom lips, letting Yunho know that I was triggered. Before I could get it back under control together with the fire in the pit of my stomach, he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me over to the medical table, grabbing the first thing he could…which was a scalpel that he held dangerously close to my eye.

“When will you stop underestimating me?” Yunho growled, and I tried to yank my head away, hands gripping the edge of the table, as one wrong move would have the scalpel in my eyeball, “I’m not a human anymore, Y/N.”

Before I could answer, the rattling of the door caught both of our attention. I sucked in a deep breath as the door started opening, Yeosang’s heartbeat pattern already familiar, “Doctor, I’m—”

But thankfully someone called his name out before he could pull the door open, “Gosh, okay—I’ll be with you in a second, Doctor Bae!”

“Who’s that little weasel?” Yunho leaned down, his hot breath hitting the side of my cheek, “Your little blood bag?”

“Watch your mouth.” I hissed and braced myself on the table as I forcefully yanked myself away and out of Yunho’s grip, kicking the back of his knees, and making him buckle forward. He was still holding the scalpel, so I yanked it out of his hand and held it to his neck as I yanked on his hair, “He’s a nurse, leave him alone.”

Yunho chuckled, grabbing my wrist and twisting it until I yelped, having to release him. He wasn’t even phased by the sharp knife cutting into his neck, fresh blood dribbling down his neck. His scent was sweet, almost intoxicating as my mouth started salivating. But I had no time to waste as Yunho twisted around, rising to his full height, grabbing me, only to fling me into the wall on the other side of the room. The door rattled as my body collided against it and a sharp pain shot up my spine, leaving me breathless as I lay on the floor, holding myself up by my arms.

“Did the modern age make you weak, Y/N?” Yunho taunted, his lips pulled into a vile sneer as he stalked towards me. I chuckled, brushing the hair out of my eyes as I looked up at him. Before I could answer, however, the door started opening again.

“Doctor, I—” I was up in a second, pushing the door closed and keeping it shut despite Yeosang’s struggle to open it.

“Get me gauze!” I called out, watching Yunho as he hadn’t stopped advancing towards me, “From my office!”

“But that’s too—”

“Now, Yeosang!” I shouted as Yunho snickered, grabbing me by my skull and squeezing. It wasn’t enough to crush it, but I winced as I tried to kneel him in the groin again, but he was smarter this time and knocked my leg almost out from underneath me with his. Then, very predictably, I was once again flung across the room, crashing into the machines and utility metal desk, a pained groan leaving my mouth as my side started throbbing.

“Doctor Bae?” Yeosang sounded alarmed as I heard his footsteps come closer once again, “Is everything—”

“Yes! Get me that gauze, now!” I shouted again, standing up and throwing Yunho a glare. I’ve had enough. I gritted my teeth as he chuckled, stalking towards me, no doubt wanting to throw me against another wall again. The room already looked like a mess, I couldn’t let him break even more expensive equipment. So, when he was close enough, I moved behind him before he could catch me, grabbing him by the hair and yanking as hard as I could as I veered him towards the examination table. I pressed his head against the cold metal and leaned forward, eyes set on the silver cutter I kept there for emergencies like this one. Yunho was trashing around like a wild animal in my hold, and I had to strain my muscles and use all the strength I had to keep him put with my body, but he thankfully went lax when the silver touched his cheek.

“You are done, do you hear me?” I hissed close to his ear, anger seeping into my voice, “I will not let you walk into my workplace and act like an animal. If you wish to kill me, fine, you can have your way outside the hospital.”

“A vampire having a conscience?” Yunho huffed, relaxing in my hold as I pressed the silver cutter deeper into his cheek to make a point.

“Times have changed, Yunho, but don’t think I have forgotten what you did.” I hissed and he shouldered me, making me step back, my grip falling from his hair. As he whirled around to face me, his face was red, his chest rising and falling rapidly. I didn’t drop the silver cutter even though it had started burning my skin too. It seems like Yunho didn’t take his time to train himself with silver, the cutter had left an angry red mark on his cheek.

“Oh, I’m glad you haven’t forgotten, Y/N.” He smirked, my stomach dropping, hatred blinding my mind, “I just regret not making it more painful for her, I wonder how much torture she could’ve taken before—”

The slap echoed in the trashed room as my chest fell and rose rapidly, my hands trembling as I tried to push the vision of Yeri’s numb body out of my mind. If I lost control in the hospital, everything would be compromised. We wouldn’t be able to just leave. I couldn’t let Yunho’s presence and words shake me up so hard, I was his creator and he’d never be able to dominate me…it’s not how things worked. Yunho slowly turned his head, glaring at me fiercely as he suddenly grabbed his side, wincing in pain. The black fabric was soft in my hand, and as I looked back up at his face, I realised I had yanked the eye patch off his face, now two round, but sharp eyes staring back at me. The eye that he had concealed looked normal, without any faults, until I looked closer. I still remember what Yunho’s human eyes looked like. They were a rich brown almost like dark chocolate, warm and deep, it was easy to get lost in them. And the concealed eye had remained the same as if his humanity had refused to let go of him. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to recall having come across something like this before, but I came up empty-handed. Was he a vampire? Or was he a human?

“What are you?” I whispered, eyebrows furrowing as fresh blood oozed out of Yunho’s bullet wound.

“The monster you had created.” He hissed, his fangs suddenly flashing as he opened his mouth, his reddish eye bright under the white fluorescent light. But his heart continued to beat and his blood continued to flow, his brown eye odd against all the anomalies of his being. Before I could patch him up, however, he whirled around and stumbled towards the door, having me race after him.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t need your help, I can heal just like you.”

And then the door was pulled open forcefully, rattling under Yunho’s strength. Yeosang was in the doorway, hand outstretched, and his eyes widened as he looked up at Yunho, then at me, confusion slowly overtaking his expression as he looked past us, and inside the examination room. The gauze I had asked for was in his hands, but he seemed lost for words.

“What—what happened?” He asked quietly, coming to Yunho’s aid when he stumbled forward, trying to leave the room. Before he could speak up and say anything, I chuckled and walked back inside the room, trying to tidy up the mess we had created.

“He’s a bit dizzy so he stumbled and fell.” Yeosang looked more confused as he held Yunho up, who was becoming paler by the second, “Don’t worry, he’s okay.”

“He doesn’t look okay, though,” Yeosang muttered and veered Yunho back inside the examination room.

“Just bring me water.” Yunho croaked out as he finally lay on the table, wincing as he tried to get rid of his leather jacket. Yeosang nodded and hurried towards the bottle of water, grabbing a clean cup for Yunho.

“Now stay silent and let me fix you.” I hissed under my breath as I tore his tee apart, eyebrows furrowing at the many scars littered across his abdomen. The first bullet had grazed his ribs and the other one was ledged in an otherwise life-threatening spot, but Yunho would be fine once I had extracted it. I made sure Yeosang didn’t see the second bullet as he handed Yunho his water, eyes sweeping over the room.

“I’ll try and fix up this place,” He muttered under his breath, giving me a questioning gaze. I nodded before I looked back at Yunho, who had started sweating. So much for playing the tough guy, he couldn’t even fix his problem without my help. But I didn’t forget what he had done to Yeri, and he wasn’t safe from the coven. They would hear about this, and I’d find out what caused him to turn into this half-looking human and vampire.

            The end of my shift came with the orange sun brimming the horizon. The hospital was relatively calm once the police department left, and because we had to keep up the appearances, Yunho was advised to return in a few days to get his stitches checked. I hadn’t actually stitched him up since his body was already healing by the time the bullet was out, but nobody had to know that. One look from him told me I wouldn’t return to my coven if any human found out about his true nature. It was ironic, wasn’t it? Having to hide amongst the creatures you once used to be, used to love and cherish. Now, there was no resemblance to the human he had once been, just the pure darkness of the creature he had succumbed to. I recognised the look in his eyes, I had stared at it many times in the mirror in the past, but for someone so desperate to preserve their humanity, it was disarming to see none of it left in him.

The sounds of the busy road became white noise as I got off the highway, the dirt road leading me far away from the lively city and deeper into the forest. A typical location for a vampire coven’s mansion, but it’s what worked best for us. Nobody bothered us here, and we didn’t bother others either…well, except for the few neighbours who shared our wish for solitude. But the houses were far paced out, we rarely saw each other. If the elderly couple had already died, I wouldn’t be able to tell…except that the light was on outside their porch, and the man was having his first cup of coffee for the day ahead of him. He raised the mug in a greeting and I made sure to wave at him, wondering when was the last time I did a wellness check on them. They had no family to take care of them, so, out of generosity, I would visit them every few months to make sure they were as healthy as possible.

The mansion came in sight as I drove towards the driveway, four garage doors hiding our other luxury vehicles. I was never one to show off our unlimited wealth, but our leader had an eye for collectable pieces and wasn’t shy to parade around the city with them. I parked just to the side and took a deep breath, closing my eyes as the car’s engine was killed, utter silence wrapping around me. I smelled like the sanitiser from the hospital, and my white boots were dirty from Yeosang accidentally stepping on them in his rush to help other officers once Yunho was taken care of. My wrists ached from having typed on the computer numerous patients data, but my skin was cold and smooth. I didn’t have to worry about growing bloodthirsty, not for another week. The fridge inside the mansion was stuffed with blood bags, so making up another lie as to why I’d have to check on the blood donors again wasn’t necessary for a good month. I had a feeling Yeosang was growing suspicious of me, he’s been by my side for four years, and without undermining his intelligence, I doubted he’d ever figure out I was a vampire. There were few clues he could catch onto, and he’s seen me in the daylight, so he couldn’t actually blame it on the fact that I only took night shifts…if it came down to that and I didn’t know better, I could also say he was a vampire too since he only took night shifts as well.

I flinched when I felt warmth on my face, and I blinked my eyes open, staring into the blinding rays of the rising sun. Another day had come, a new beginning for humans, and the moment to retreat for the monsters. I wondered if Yunho was capable of walking in the sun without feeling fatigued or nauseous, I wondered if he fed on blood or food like humans, and I wondered…why he was back just now. Was it sheer coincidence we had run into each other once again? Or was it the bond that connected us, somehow always leading us to each other in the end? I sighed and grabbed my purse and keys, getting out of the car and shivering at the cool breeze of the morning. Summer was a few months away, half of my coven might leave for the time being and retreat to colder places, but I couldn’t. I had a job and a life outside of being a vampire, I knew Yeosang would ask questions if I just up and left. In fact, I was more than sure he’d try to follow me. We had gone to a team dinner a long time ago, and in his drunken stupor, he had confessed that he’d follow me to the ends of the Earth because he trusted my judgment and expertise. Perhaps it was that moment which made me adore the frail human, wanting to make sure he was safe from other creatures like myself.

I locked the car and headed for the front entrance, listening to the gravel crunch underneath my boots. I could use my vampire speed, but there was something in me that wanted to enjoy the mundane things today. It’s not like I could shut off my powers and heightened senses, but I had control over them, and it came in handy quite often. If not because I had to appear human around the humans, then for all the things that went down inside the mansion. Fifteen people weren’t little nor much, but they each had needs and cravings that I honestly found no joy in overhearing anymore. Over two hundred years of housing together did that to you. For once, the mansion was silent as I entered it, locking the door after me since I knew nobody would leave the house until twilight. The property we lived on was huge, the mansion was probably capable of housing up to thirty people. I had no idea how our leader had found it, nor how she managed to convince the realtor to let us have it, but it was luxurious and somehow comfy still, I liked it. It looked a lot like those Pinterest vision boards I did for myself about a hypothetical small apartment in the heart of the city. I could leave the mansion, and step out of the motherly arms of the coven, but it wasn’t that easy.

They depended on me and I needed them. All my life, the vampire one at least, they were the closest thing to a family, they were the only constant in my life. I grew and learned with them and from them, they forgave my mistakes and rarely punished me, but maybe that was because they didn’t know what I had done all those years ago, in 1822. Nobody knew about Yunho anymore, the feared vampire hunter had just disappeared one day and his own coven had gone to war with ours, only to massively lose against us. Our coven had been bigger back then, some perished and others decided it was time to move on, but those who had a deep sense of loyalty and craved to belong somewhere were still here. I headed for the marble stairs, the interior just a tad bit colder than outside, my footsteps loud as I followed the stairs to the third floor, where most of our rooms were. We had maids and a few butlers, but that was only because our leader preferred blood fresh from the source, and to be honest, we were too lazy to keep the whole mansion clean, so we needed a little bit of help. The closer I got to my room, the more my stomach twisted with nerves and uncertainty. I couldn’t keep Yunho a secret anymore, not when he was so close to us and a very potent threat. I could tell he still hated our kind, and I knew just because he was one of us now didn’t stop him from wanting to kill us. And because he was a cop now, he could easily get rid of the coven without anyone raising any suspicions. I wished this was only about our safety, but his existence could be my sister’s salvation.

Knowing that the wisest thing to do now was let our leader know about Jeong Yunho, I stopped in front of her door and took a deep breath, telling myself that facing punishment was good if it meant Yeri could see another break of dawn. I raised my hand and knocked against Joohyun’s door, three times in the pattern that told her I was calling for a meeting, then hurried to my room to get rid of my things. I had left my gown at the hospital, but as I walked inside my en-suite bathroom, the stench of the disinfectant was sickening, so I quickly splashed water over my face and scrubbed my hands until they were raw. I pulled my hair in a low ponytail and changed out of my tight black blouse in exchange for a comfortable sweater that felt like a shield around my body once Joohyun’s sharp eyes were to stare me down. I knew I had to do this, it was for my sister. So, I left my room and hurried towards the meeting room, one floor below, not bothering to knock since I knew everyone who needed to be inside was already there. The heavy door opened easily under my hands, giving way to the dimly lit room with a long table in the middle. The floors and walls were covered in pure marble, glimmering in the yellowy light as I eyed the vampires sitting scarcely around the table.

Sooyoung, who was our financial advisor, looked like she had just been awakened, and I knew I’d get an earful for not letting her have her beauty sleep. Seungwan, who looked bored as her sharp nails clicked against the wooden table was busy sketching in her notebook, her hair a mess, and I wondered when was the last time she had gone to sleep. She was a renowned artist, and speculations were going around the internet that she was the reincarnation of a princess living in the 17th hundreds, her current photos compared to the paintings made of the princess. It didn’t take two to guess whether she was a reincarnation or not, those inside the coven knew the truth. Then Seulgi, who was glaring at me annoyed, didn’t even bother sitting down, her arms crossed over her chest. I wondered if she had ever come across Jeong Yunho without knowing his identity, she was the head chief of the police. She was probably supposed to head in right now and I was keeping her back, maybe that’s why she was so annoyed. Lastly, our leader, Joohyun, sat at the head of the table, expression gentle as her arms rested on the massive chair’s armrest. She looked tiny in that big chair, but then again, she had always been tiny.

“Will you explain why you’ve evoked us here?” Seulgi snapped, her annoyance spilling into her tone as I gulped, advancing further inside the room. Behind Joohyun, a thinly veiled curtain served as a divider. What was beyond it would’ve made my heart race in nervousness, the lump in my throat choking if I allowed myself to miss my sister too much.

“Sit down, Seulgi,” Joohyun muttered, still only looking at me, “You will give me a headache if you keep pacing around, your job isn’t more important than a council meeting.”

That seemed to get Seulgi to tense up, but she couldn’t say anything against Joohyun, so she took her seat close to hers, crossing a leg over the other as well as her arms across her chest. I gulped and stood at the other end of the table, gaining Seungwan’s attention as well as she stopped doodling. Sooyoung was more awake now, easily able to notice my hesitance since she had always been a good observer.

“You did something, didn’t you?” Sooyoung asked, narrowing her eyes in disdain. Joohyun raised her hand to silence everyone, looking around the room before she leaned forward, her long black hair silky and straight as it fell to her hips.

“Let her speak,” She snapped, raising an eyebrow, “Why did you invoke the council, Y/N?”

It was now or never; I couldn’t back out anymore. I licked my lips and pictured myself speaking to my boss, who was an old man, borderline insane but still an exceptional doctor. If I imagined I was speaking to him, who rivalled Joohyun’s sharp features, the words came a bit easier to speak. I lowered my eyes to the table and decided to tell them where it all started, “After Yeri was killed, I was on a rampage to find the hunter who had done that to her. It took me three years, but I found him, he was a Jeong, from the Jung hunter coven, and he was their most prised soldier. His name is Jeong Yunho, and he…he’s still alive. After I found him, I planned on killing him, but he said things that angered me and I didn’t go through with it, I bit him a second time and…left.”

“You left?” It was Seungwan asking, her eyebrows furrowed, her tone alarmed.

“Is this why that fucking vampire-hunting coven attacked us?” Sooyoung snapped, her sharp eyes burning into the side of my head as she stood up revolted.

“Enough, let her continue!” Joohyun snapped, and everyone settled back down as I pursed my lips, reluctantly looking up at Joohyun. Her expression gave nothing away, but she had one hand fisted and it was enough to tell me I was in trouble, big time.

“Yes, I left him there, and yes, that’s why the coven attacked us,” I admitted shamefully, even after all the time that had passed, I haven’t stopped feeling guilty for the loss I caused, but it was only fair. He had taken Yeri from us, I took him from the Jung’s.

“I’m just impressed you managed to take Jeong down,” Seulgi muttered, ignoring Joohyun’s sharp glare for interrupting me, “But I suppose something happened, otherwise you wouldn’t have admitted to trying to kill him.”

And she was right, I nodded a bit embarrassed, “Yeah, he’s…alive. And a vampire, but not really, I—it’s difficult to explain. When I bit him a second time, I knew he’d become a vampire but I didn’t stay there until the transformation went fully through, I felt the bond between us spark to life and ran off. Humans were also coming inside the forest for some reason, I couldn’t let them see me. But he’s back, and he’s not fully a vampire. He came in tonight with a bullet shot, he’s a cop, and his heart is still beating. He bleeds like humans and he doesn’t heal as fast as vampires, but he’s inhumanely strong and fast, and his eyes…one is crimson and the other brown. But he’s still youthful, he looks the same as back then, and he hasn’t aged one bit. He is a vampire, but he’s somehow also a human, and I…I don’t know. I made a mistake, and I have to fix it before it gets bad.”

“Yeah, you better.” Sooyoung snapped, her face red from anger, “If I knew you’d be this daft, I would’ve never transformed you.”

“I didn’t ask to be transformed!” I snapped, turning sharply to glare at Sooyoung, who deflated in her seat and looked away, “None of us did, Sooyoung, Yunho is the only one I transformed besides Yeri.”

A deafening silence settled over the room, however, it didn’t last long as Seulgi was swiping on her phone rapidly, her eyebrows more and more furrowed as seconds passed by, “You don’t mean this Jeong Yunho, do you?”

I gulped as she turned her phone, showing me his profile, his information written in small letters right underneath his picture, “That’s him.”

“He’s in my division, way too small to come in contact with me.” Seulgi muttered, turning her phone to look at it as Joohyun motioned to be handed the phone too, “He’s been an officer for six years, always gets the most brutal crime scenes, and does some private investigation from time to time. He’s also great undercover and refuses to work with partners, he’s quite promising, I cannot lie. A few other officers have been fighting over him to get him in their team, but he refuses them and says he wants to stay in my division. Do you think he knows who I am?”

“I doubt it,” I shook my head, pulling out the chair to sit down, “Unless he’s kept in contact with the Jung’s, who know our faces.”

“He hasn’t,” Joohyun spoke up, still staring at the photo, “The coven would’ve long killed him, it’s impossible he’s still in contact with them. But if he’s operating on his own, he’s a greater danger than the coven itself, he’s a rogue and they are dangerous. It’s good you told us, Y/N, even if he’s the fruit of your mistake, getting rid of him now is better than never.”

“We can’t get rid of him.” I whispered, but they all heard me as my eyes went past Joohyun, falling on the divider, “Not yet.”

“Why?” Seungwan asked confused, looking towards the divider as well, her eyes solemn as she stared longingly at it. Yeri was beyond the veil, I hoped she could hear us, hear me that I hadn’t given up on her, not now and not ever. If this didn’t work, I’d find another way to bring her back from her eternal slumber. I was a doctor, medicine was evolving in ways one could only dream about back in our days, I’d find a miracle and make her live again if I had to.

“There’s an ancient tale,” I gulped nervously, Joohyun’s eyes narrowed as the other three girls watched me closely, “That says if a vampire is placed in eternal slumber, their essence isn’t lost yet. We can save Yeri if we find her hunter and feed her their blood…the hunter who had tried to kill her was Yunho, and he’s here.”

“But he’s a vampire,” Joohyun spoke, finality to her tone as if she thought I was insane for bringing this tale up, “And the hunter needs to be human in order to bring the fallen vampire back, the blood needs to be fresh and untainted, which you had made sure isn’t anymore.”

“He is human, Joohyun!” I exclaimed, feeling desperation crawl up my chest, “Half human, but it’s still there. He could be useful, we could try at least. The tale doesn’t say anything will happen to the vampire if the ritual fails, no?”

Joohyun pursed her lips, glancing at Seulgi who looked uncertain, “Giving away our location and identities is very risky, Y/N. Even if nothing happens to Yeri if the ritual fails, we will suffer. Sure, he isn’t in contact with his coven anymore, but if you say his strength can rival ours, he’s a threat. I cannot risk exposing my whole coven to something like that, it’s enough that he knows you still exist. He’s too close to us, get rid of him before I interfere.”

I opened my mouth, ready to plead, but surprisingly, Sooyoung beat me to it, “It’s about Yeri, don’t you miss her too? I want to hear her joyful laughter again and look into her soulful eyes, our coven has been so cold ever since she died…and if we have such a high chance of bringing her back, why should we waste it, Joohyun? We could kill Yunho anytime, I can do it if nobody else wants to, I’ve taken men down twice his size and strength, I’m not afraid.”

“This isn’t about who’s afraid and who’s got more ego, Sooyoung!” Joohyun snapped, slamming her palm on the table. Seungwan jumped and looked down, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Everyone wants something, Joohyun,” She spoke up quietly, playing with her fingers, “He must want something too, maybe he’s looking for someone, maybe he wants to kill someone, if we find out what he wants, we could blackmail him into helping us. Think about it…”

“She’s not wrong,” Seulgi muttered under her breath, swiping left a call that seemed important by her exasperated sigh. Silence settled over our group as everyone looked at Joohyun, awaiting her final decision. She didn’t look pleased or trusting of our ideas, but I knew she missed Yeri just as much as the rest of us. She was my sister, but she was everyone else’s sister too. She was young when I had turned her in order to save her from sickness, she never really had the chance to grow up and become a woman, she was everyone’s little sister.

“Seulgi, find out everything about Jeong Yunho and bring the information to me in two days,” Joohyun’s tone was final, her jaw clenched. I tried to keep the smile off my face, but I was beyond ecstatic. Finally, we had a real chance of awakening Yeri, “Make sure the others don’t know much about this, especially not that he’s from the Jung coven and Y/N—he’s your responsibility. Keep an eye on him, find out more about his peculiar condition, and bring him to me when I say so. Everyone is dismissed.”

We stood at once, but I didn’t leave the room like the others, my feet carried me towards the thin veil. I pulled the curtain to the side and proceeded further inside, eyes falling on the altar that allowed Yeri’s body to rest upon. Her body was placed on silky cushions, a thin blanket pulled over her body to keep her warm despite her not needing it. I took a deep breath and neared her, staring down at her frail skin, with no wrinkles or blemishes on her face as her eyes remained closed. Her chest fell and rose, a dark splinter still in her, close to her heart, from where Yunho had attacked her. Her wavy blonde hair was faded and her lips were a light pink, making her look closer to a corpse than a living being. She was sicklier than even a vampire. I gulped and gingerly traced my fingers over her eyes, wishing to see the flutter and open, their familiar crimson just a distant memory.

“We’ll meet soon, Yeri, I promise,” I whispered and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead, hoping she could feel it and hear my words too. She was beautiful, her white dress spilling off the altar as I committed her serene face to memory once again, then turned, my mind set to find Jeong Yunho and make him pay one last time.

            In all my six years of working at the hospital, I hadn’t bothered taking any days off . There was no reason for me to go on a vacation, I had already seen most of the world. Besides, I didn’t tire like humans, so really, there was no need for me to take days off. Besides, I felt it was my duty to be at the disposal of those humans that needed me. So, when I called in and told my boss that I would like to take the night off since a family emergency had come up, he was rather surprised but mostly happy. He even added that I should take off another day or two and have a quick relaxing trip while I was at that. If I thought more of it, I might take him up on his offer, but not to go on a relaxing trip…but to bring back my fallen sister. Yeosang, however, was less enthusiastic about my sudden absence.

“Wait, what do you mean something came up?” I could hear the confusion through the phone as I walked down the dimly lit streets, water splashing against my boots since it had rained not long ago. I hated the muddy smell of the earth after the rain, and especially all the worms that sought refuge above ground.

“Well, exactly that, Yeosang.” I answered amused, glaring at a drunken couple that was ready to fuck by the wall of a building on a rather busy street, even at this ungodly hour, “One of my family member’s dog died and…I need to attend the funeral.”

I hoped I didn’t jinx it, Sooyoung would have my head if anything happened to her lovely Bishon Maltez, Haetnimie. Yeosang paused, releasing a long sigh, then hummed, probably feeling bored all alone in my office. It was past midnight, so he must’ve already had his meal for the night, “I’m sorry to hear that, my condolences.”

“Yup, I will let her know,” I muttered half-heartedly, eyebrows furrowing when my eyes zeroed in on the neon sign above the door Yunho was just about to enter. Two days ago, Seulgi placed a heavy folder in front of Joohyun with all the necessary information about Jeong Yunho, and now, I was tasked with following him and finding out more about his ‘mundane’ life since there were very few records about it. He was rather good at keeping low-key, it was annoying. Not even the trace of a money transfer, I wondered how he did it. Thankfully to Seulgi, we still managed to get a basic background check on him, hence I knew his location now. His apartment was in a rather high-end part of the city, which was surprising since I thought he’d want to stay away from humans. He often bought beer after being finished with his shift and conversed with the old lady at the laundry mat, who lived in the less fancy apartment complex next to his. He also liked petting stray kittens, even if they hissed at him at first. I thought animals sensed evil, but then again…Sooyoung did own a dog too, and she was an angel, liked everyone but Baekhyun who would bark back at her.

“Hey, I’ll talk to you later, Yeosang,” I said as the bouncer let Yunho inside the nightclub, spiking my curiosity. Was he really here to admire some pretty ladies? Is this how he fed? A bit perverted and sadistic, but I couldn’t judge him too hard, “Have an easy shift.”

“Thank you,” Yeosang muttered, and I figured he was pouting since our conversation was short cut, “Don’t stay up too late.”

“Old habits die hard.” I chuckled before hanging up, then cut the line and smiled at the bouncer charmingly. He eyed me up and down, not budging. Great, of course, he’d let Yunho in without a blink, but not a fine lady wanting to enjoy some other fine ladies.

“Are only men allowed inside?” I raised an eyebrow, rolling my shoulders back. I wasn’t too muscular or too small, but I looked far from threatening still. Unless I showed my fangs, of course, “Thought the pretty ladies were for everyone to enjoy.”

I flashed him a hefty bill from my pocket, and the bouncer coughed and looked towards the line, pursing his lips. He glanced at the bill before he nodded, knocking on the door. It opened swiftly and I flashed the bouncer a charming smile before I slipped inside, making sure the bill landed in his opened palm without anyone seeing. And just like that, my eardrums were overwhelmed with loud thudding music. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, willing myself to acclimate to the sudden change. The blinding lights made my eyes water and my head ached from the much too loud noise, the sweaty bodies making my skin itchy, but I willed my mind to focus on finding Jeong Yunho again. I knew he was in here somewhere, but I needed to find him to observe him more, learn his patterns to know how to lure him into my trap. I had done it once, I could do it twice. I didn’t need Sooyoung to interfere like she so much wished to do, I was grateful Joohyun knew that and told her to prepare herself for the ritual, instead.

The club wasn’t exactly like I had expected it to be, the dance floor was filled to the brim with raunchy dressed people, drunk or high out of their minds. The pretty ladies performing were there too, trapped in glass cages, their makeup sparkly and their dresses skimpy as they danced provocatively, prompting even more lustful eyes to watch them. A few bills were caught in their bras or the string of their visible thongs, and men were desperately throwing even more at them. Turning my head away from the sight, I looked towards the bar, hoping to find Yunho there, but it was almost as if he had vanished. Finding a tall and hunky man like him shouldn’t have been so hard, not with his dark blue hair and the distinctive long leather coat he was wearing tonight. Not giving up just yet, I ventured further inside the club, scooping out the place, trying to locate the restrooms…maybe he had gone there. I felt someone slap my ass and my irritancy instantly flared as I whirled around, crimson eyes burning into hazed ones. The man wasn’t ugly, but he was too drunk to know where he was, and he had touched me without consent. He tried staggering towards me, but I stopped him before he could, hissing at him, my fangs showing. Even a drunk man knew to stay away, and after he raised his hands in surrender he stumbled away, already finding his next victim.

I scoffed under my breath and walked away from the overcrowded dance floor, eyes narrowing when I realised there was a narrow corridor right by the restrooms. And just like that, Yunho was back in my sight as he appeared out of nowhere, rounding the corner and hurrying down the hallway. I followed after him, hastening my pace to keep up with his long strides, and felt a little hesitant when I saw two big-looking bodyguards blocking the middle of the hallway. They didn’t stop Yunho, though, so I hoped they wouldn’t stop me either. I clenched my jaw and held my head high, making sure to not look them in the eyes as I neared them. If they were to stop me, I would just knock them out. I knew I was too close to Yunho, that he might’ve already noticed my presence, but there were no signs he had, so I continued with my pursuit once the bodyguards didn’t even as much as glanced down at me. The walls were blood red, and Yunho had long rounded the corner to the right, disappearing to somewhere else. The music from the rowdy club was just a dull sound now, and something lower and much slower flooded the corridor as I came closer and closer to the corner. Then, as if I had been teleported to another dimension, this room was bigger and less filled with people.

The lights were dim and burgundy, coating everything and everyone in a reddish haze. The people in here were also fancily dressed, sitting around huge tables, bottle girls in their laps or walking up to their tables with fresh champagne. The sight was jarring, but I played it off as I looked for Yunho again, who was at the bar now. He was leaning over it and speaking to the barman, who was smirking at him while checking Yunho out repeatedly. Yeah, anyone with a good pair of eyes would appreciate his looks, especially his innocent face when his eyes were filled with darkness and danger. I gulped and walked to the very end of the bar, where a man was already sitting and could cover me from Yunho’s eyes with his large body. I wasn’t here to get anything, but I suppose I would’ve looked suspicious, so I flagged down another barman and asked for a Hugo. The man I decided to sit next to glanced at me a few times from the corner of his eyes, but I kept looking straight ahead so he wouldn’t try and speak to me.

The Hugo was delicious as I sipped on it, turning around in my seat to further observe the room. The women dancing in here mostly lacked their bras, and a few guys who were placed in glass cages wore nothing but jockstraps. Yunho, who had migrated from the bar, was now speaking to someone sitting by a large table, surrounded by men in suits and women in tight body dresses. Yunho didn’t sit down, his eyebrows were furrowed as he stared down at the man smirking at him, pointing towards a young-looking guy in the glass cage. I looked at the boy and wondered how old he was, his ankles were wobbly as he danced in his heels, his chest red and eyes mostly cast down. I wondered if he needed a way out and if I could provide it to him. My thoughts, however, quickly returned to Yunho as his body tensed, eyes turning into slits as the man he was talking to laughed loudly. I took a sip of my drink and watched as Yunho’s hand balled up into a fist, his arms shaking. Would a massacre occur now? Or was he strong enough to withhold his anger? I watched with excitement licking up my stomach, suddenly realising that I was watching my creation.

And he was a fine piece at that, visually, it would be even more satisfying if he was a strong-willed vampire as well. My suspicions were confirmed when Yunho took a step back, nodding his head stiffly and stalking off. I finished my drink when I realised there were multiple corridors leading to who knows where, and Yunho was headed down a brighter one. The light was distracting as it flashed over my head, my footsteps louder than I would’ve liked them despite the music playing in the main room. Yunho was ahead one second, and then the next second my back was digging into the hard wall, my airways restricted as Yunho’s large hand wrapped around my neck, squeezing mercilessly.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He hissed under his breath, jaw clenching even more. I could practically hear his teeth gritting together, it was a jarring sound. I couldn’t speak with how strongly he was squeezing my neck, so I opened my lips and grabbed his wrist, trying to make a sound to no avail. His grip loosened just enough to let me speak as he towered over me with his menacing height.

“What?” I chuckled, my throat a bit scrappy despite the drink I had just minutes ago, “Can’t a woman enjoy a place like this one? The girls are rather pretty—”

“Bullshit.” Yunho hissed, suddenly pulling himself away from me as he glared at me. I smiled, adjusting the collar of my black shirt, pretending that I was then dusting off the corset I decided to wear tonight. Yunho didn’t say anything else, but suddenly, he took off back towards the main room, me hotly following after him. Well, since I had been already discovered, there was no reason for me to pretend I wasn’t here. Maybe if I talked to him, I could get more information out of him.

“Where are you going?” I called after him as Yunho hurried back down the corridor, walking too fast but not that it looked unnatural to the human eye. He didn’t answer, obviously, so I just followed after him. I felt eyes on us as we stormed through the main room, and Yunho came to an abrupt halt when the man he had been speaking to suddenly raised an arm, his head tilted as he was looking me up and down curiously.

“Brought a snack for me?” My eyebrows furrowed as I turned to look at the man, ready to lash out or even bare my fangs at him, but I realised he was human. What an odd thing to say, then. Too focused on the man, I didn’t notice Yunho stepping closer to me, nor did I realise he grabbed me until he was squeezing my bicep so hard I almost whimpered. I know we were vampires and our pain tolerance was higher, but he could be a bit gentler with me.

“Found her for myself, actually.” Yunho’s tone had completely changed from how he had spoken to me. It was velvety, dripping with cynicism yet honey at the same time. One glance down at me and his eyes narrowed slightly, “Mind if I don’t share her with you tonight?”

What was going on? Who were these people and why was Yunho hounding me like his life depended on it? Taking a deep breath, I realised his cologne was oozing off of him, dark and somehow sweet, nauseating for my sensitive nostrils.

“You’re quite quick, Jeong.” The man huffed, clearly displeased by Yunho’s words, but he chuckled and flicked his hand, turning his attention away from us. I looked up at Yunho questioningly, but he started pulling me after himself, his jaw clenched tight still. I had to sprint to keep up with him, and my arm was turning white from how hard he was squeezing me. But he didn’t slow down until we left the weird room as he pushed me towards the corridor that led us here. I stumbled before catching my footing and whirled around annoyed, glaring up at him as he stormed up to my face.

“Stop pushing and pulling me around, fucker.” I hissed, craning my neck back to glare into his eyes. Yunho huffed, an unamused grin settling on his lips as he tilted his head.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?” He asked, tone gravely as I smiled, trying to tone down my sudden anger.

“Clubbing, what else am I supposed to do here?” I raised an eyebrow, but Yunho didn’t seem to buy my explanation. I wouldn’t stand around here and let him manhandle me more, so, I turned to leave but as I rounded the corner, I was being held back by my nape, Yunho’s hot breath hitting my ear from behind.

“I know you’re lying to me,” He hissed, his grip tightening around my nape when I tried to brush his touch off, “Why were you following me all night long?”

I chuckled, staring at the backs of the bodyguards who seemed like mannequins since they weren’t moving at all, “What are you doing in a dodgy place like this one? At first, I figured you were just a pervert coming here to feed, but clearly, I don’t know enough about you. You are my second creation, and you turn out to be pitiful—”

I gasped as my back collided with the wall loudly, a sharp ache shooting up my shoulder blade. I glared at Yunho, pushing at his chest when he came towards me, but he didn’t budge too much. I didn’t try too hard either, so maybe that’s why.

“Shut your mouth,” Yunho growled, his face contorted in pure anger. I laughed, letting my head fall back against the wall as I watched Yunho, “You don’t know nothing.”

“Yeah?” I hummed, chewing on my bottom lip as I let my eyes take him in again, “I pride myself on having a good eye for beauty, but really…that broody personality of yours ruins it all, Yunho. A master would usually want to be proud of their offspring, but you are making me question my judgment all those years ago. I should have let you die, shouldn’t I?”

That seemed to hit a nerve as Yunho huffed through his nose, his neck flushing red. I smirked, raising my eyebrows to provoke him even more, but he was still practising self-restraint, so it wasn’t fun anymore. Deciding that I wanted to know more about this place, I continued, “Why are you here, Yunho? And what’s this club?”

He seemed to consider his answer for a second as he glanced towards the motionless bodyguards, I wondered why they weren’t reacting to our little fight. Maybe they just didn’t care, maybe couples fought all the time in these narrow corridors.

“I’m undercover.” Yunho barely but whispered, knowing that I would hear him, “So get the fuck out before you ruin the whole operation!”

I pursed my lips, looking left and right, slowly nodding my head, “Right, you’re a cop. Interesting choice for a career, you miss hunting, don’t you? Makes sense, I suppose—”

I was cut off as noise filled the corridor, coming from the red-light room. It was two men, conversing with each other, saying something about Yunho and…me. Yunho’s jaw clenched as he heard them too, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek, shaking his head. He looked annoyed as he looked back at me. I blew his cover, the men were coming to get him. I suppose the man he had been talking to was the one he was after, and now I had probably ruined Yunho’s credibility to him. Not wanting to be captured for no reason, or for a bloodbath judging based on Yunho’s rapid heartbeat, I did what I thought was best for a distraction. Just as the two buff men rounded the corner, I slapped Yunho hard across the cheek, the sound echoing in the hallway. Even the two bodyguards glanced back before minding their own business again. Yunho’s eyes widened as he held his red cheek, slowly turning his head to look at me bewildered.

“I hate you!” I screamed shrilly and grabbed the collar of Yunho’s leather coat to yank him into myself, making him knock me back against into the wall since he lost his balance. His eyebrows furrowed for a second, but then I slammed my lips against his, our eyes stayed open as Yunho stiffened. The press of our lips was painful and Yunho had started pulling away, but my grip tightened on his leather coat as I pulled him even closer, my eyebrows furrowing as I subtly moved my eyes towards the frozen men sent to take care of us. It seemed like Yunho finally understood what I had in mind because his body relaxed a bit, large hands coming up to cup my cheeks strongly. His eyes slowly fluttered shut and so did mine as I pressed up on my tiptoes to kiss him better, letting him tilt my head back just a little bit. His lips were warm and slightly chapped, the opposite of my cold and smooth lips. The kiss was aggressive and lacked any warmth or pleasure as our lips smacked together painfully, but at least the two men sent to take care of us were slowly backing away.

My lips parted in a silent gasp when Yunho pressed me back up against the wall, licking into my mouth with little care as I grabbed the back of his head, fingers tangling into his smooth dyed hair. I yanked on the short strands as he sucked on my tongue, starting a burning fire in the pit of my stomach as I tried to keep the sounds threatening to leave my mouth down, eyebrows furrowing as a pleasurable feeling bloomed in my chest. I’ve kissed many before, but neither had felt so right and so fitting. Maybe it was because he was my creation, but the longer our mouths stayed glued together, the more clouded my mind became with his scent and beating warm heart. I could smell his blood pumping through his body, the veins on his hands bulging and a rich blue, his fingertips digging into my cheeks painfully. My fangs ached as he pressed his body against mine, keeping me caged between himself and the wall, my nerves on fire. If my heart would’ve been able to still beat, it would’ve been racing and flooding my cheeks with warmth, instead, it was my ears ringing and my stomach churning in unexpected want. Unable to hold back as Yunho’s tongue slid against mine, I grabbed his neck to keep him locked in place and swiftly sunk my fangs into his bottom lip. He let out a loud whine as fresh, rich-flavoured blood flooded my tastebuds, making my eyebrows furrow as I moaned.

The taste lingered on my tongue as Yunho pulled back with a loud gasp, his bottom lip slightly bloody as my jaw ached even more, my fangs yearning to sink into his smooth veins. I was breathing hard as Yunho kept me immobilised against the wall with his own body, his eyes shaking with anger. The men who had come to take care of Yunho had backed down, probably to report back to their boss.

“You’re human,” I whispered as I licked the remnant of Yunho’s blood off my lip, hands balling up into fists as I struggled to hold back from biting him again. He hadn’t been this sweet as a human when I had transformed him…or maybe I just hadn’t had blood from a living source in too long? That could affect how I reacted to fresh blood.

“I’m a monster.” Yunho looked disgusted as he forced the words out, his jaw clenched and face still close, “You did this to me.”

“Yeah, I did, but you’re not fully a vampire, are you?” I whispered, looking into his eyes once again, observing the crimson of one and the brownness of the other.

“It’s your fault.” Yunho hissed and I hummed, reaching forward to touch his chin, but he knocked my hand to the side with hatred written all over his face, “I will rip you to shreds if you cross my path ever again.”

I chuckled, “No, you won’t, because you can’t, Yunho.”

He licked his lips, tilting his head as he slowly leaned back close, lips ghosting over mine as I gulped, feeling something in me tremble at the proximity. I wanted his lips on mine again, my fangs in his skin and his blood on my tongue.

“If I can’t kill you, I’ll stake you like I staked Yeri.” My blood froze as I looked at Yunho with tense shoulders. His smile grew, looking smug and taunting, “Will you scream like she did? Beg for mercy and call for help? For your sisters like she had? Oh, what I would do just to see the light drain from your soulless eyes like hers had, slowly, teary, and shakingly, with your name dying on her lips.”

I prided myself on having great self-control, on knowing when to stay level-headed, and on not losing my head when provoked. But not even Yunho had expected the speed nor force I threw him against the wall with, both hands wrapped around his neck and squeezing until I could feel his muscles caving in underneath my skin. His eyes were bulging as he tried to claw at my hands, push me away and free himself, but my whole body was rooted in anger, wanting to take, to destroy, to avenge. I felt sick to my stomach as bile rose in my throat, my body shaking as Yunho tried to gasp for air, his eyes glossy, and I wanted to hear the snap of his bone, I wanted his head to roll to the side boneless, I needed his breath to freeze in his throat, his lungs never to function ever again. And I wanted to rip his still-beating heart out too, just for good measure. But wouldn’t that make me the monster he thought we were? The monster he had become? There was no light left in Yunho’s eyes, in his soul and heart, his body remained the same while he had lost his psyche. I felt tears stream down my cheeks, hot and burning, as I ripped myself away from Yunho, who started wheezing for air and fell to the floor in a ball, coughing and holding his neck. The bodyguards glanced back but didn’t do anything when I looked at them.

“If I can’t kill you, then Yeri will.” I gritted through my teeth, and with one last glance at him, I didn’t even care who saw me, I left the club in the blink of an eye, chest heaving as my head thumped, bile rising higher into my throat until I was forced to find a trashbin and double over it. Acid burned my throat as much as the tears in my eyes, but I willed myself to take a deep breath and relax my muscles. Yunho was still human, his blood and heart at least, so he would bring Yeri back. He would pay for what he did, and I’ll be there to watch his downfall.

            We knew what—no, who—Yunho was after. The universe had mysterious ways of working. Perhaps it was his punishment for taking so many innocent lives, perhaps it was the curse I wished to put upon him when I found Yeri’s motionless body lying on the cold floor of Seungwan’s castle, right in the middle of a ball where she was supposed to find a suitor for herself. I sighed as my eyebrows furrowed, eyes staring down at the paperwork without seeing the words. The ER had been busy all night long, Yeosang and I had just caught a break, Kai and Jennie telling us they’d cover for us while we’d take a breather. I didn’t think I needed it until the brisk night air filled my lungs, Yeosang’s steady heartbeat a nice reminder that I was alive. He was silent until he excused himself to grab some much-needed coffee, asking if I’d like a cup too, much like always. The answer was always the same, no, thank you. Coffee was too bitter and didn’t help me stay alert, so I preferred not to drink it for appearance's sake. My phone pinged with a new message, and I was finally able to release a sigh of ease. Yunho was supposed to come in to check on his non-existent stitches, I had begged the head doctor all night long for him to appoint Yunho to me again, making up all sorts of far-fetched explanations.

“What’s got you thinking so deeply?” I flinched hearing Yeosang’s deep voice next to me, having failed to notice his approach. Yeah, I was too in my head if I couldn’t notice an approaching human.

“Life, I guess…” I muttered as I leaned over the railing, looking down at the ground. It wouldn’t be a high enough jump, not to me. Yeosang just hummed and mirrored me, taking slow sips of his warm coffee. It was very bitter based on its scent, I wondered how he could stomach it.

“Time flies by fast, doesn’t it?” Yeosang spoke quietly, his cup of coffee hanging over the railing, “One second you’re just a child, and then the next you’re supposed to make money and look out for yourself in a world that mostly isn’t fair.”

Humans had different issues than us, I glanced at Yeosang and saw his eyebrows furrowed deeply. I wondered if life hadn’t been kind to him. It wouldn’t be fair if anything happened to Yeosang, he was too good, too kind. I hummed, watching him take another sip of his coffee before he hung his head low.

“My best friend is sick,” He whispered, voice gravely, and something stiffened in my chest. Perhaps it would have been my heart breaking for him if it were still functioning, “Very sick. I’m a nurse, I know so much about medicine and how to help people, I know the best doctors and yet—I can’t do anything to help him. He’s going to die, Y/N, and I can’t stop it.”

I had never heard Yeosang so broken before, so small and helpless. My eyebrows furrowed and I sighed, figuring he looked like he needed a hug right now. So, I turned towards him and grabbed his bicep, making him look at me defeated. I offered him a small smile and pulled him towards me, confusion visible on his face as he let himself be manoeuvred around. My arms wrapped around him in a friendly hug, hoping it would be comforting too. He remained stiff for a few more seconds, but then his arms wrapped around my torso and he placed his chin on my shoulder, squeezing me for a second.

“Thank you.” Yeosang whispered with a smile in his voice, “I didn’t think I’d find a friend at my workplace, especially not a doctor, but you’ve treated me with respect since the beginning. Even when I still felt nauseous taking blood.”

We both chuckled at that as I remembered Yeosang’s rocky start at the hospital. He needed a good year until he got completely in shape and accustomed to the life he had chosen, and that was understandable. What he did wasn’t easy, yet he managed better than most people I knew. Before the hug could become uncomfortable, we pulled away and Yeosang took a sip of his coffee to hide his small smile. Turning humans into vampires wasn’t like what it used to be. Mistakes happened, of course, but my coven believed in giving a choice to the human that wished to turn into one of us. We didn’t just take it greedily, we asked and told them what this life came with. We didn’t just stop existing one day, even when the earth threatened to stop spinning, we’d be here, living and breathing. We weren’t invincible, no, but we were durable and stronger than those around us. Joohyun had always believed even vampires could be forgiven for their sins, and bringing another person into our coven without a deep reason meant expulsion from it. I gulped and took a second to reconsider my words, but I hated seeing Yeosang in pain.

“And if…there was a cure for your best friend, would you want him to have it?” Asking without explaining first was greedy, but maybe I didn’t want to lose Yeosang and his kindness in this unfair world. Surely if his best friend became a vampire he’d wish to follow, no? That was greedy of me and wishful thinking, but I had long stopped asking for forgiveness for my sins. If I truly wasn’t greedy, I would’ve never transformed Yeri, I would’ve let everything progress by its natural rhythm.

“There would be a price to pay, I suppose…” Yeosang was smart, he knew there were things he couldn’t explain, I smiled as I nodded, “Yes, I would want him to have it as long as he does too.”

I hummed, deciding that bringing this up to Joohyun once the whole Yeri thing was over would be worth it. Our coven was tight-knit and strong, filled with talented people, offering a home to Yeosang’s friend would be nothing. He’d learn from the best and become even better. Perhaps it would be Joohyun or Seulgi turning him, after all, it was inevitable for the offspring not to take attributes from its creator once the transformation was through, it was smartest if the bite came from the best of the best vampires.

“Well, then—” Before I could tell Yeosang that I might be able to help him, my phone beeped, signalling that Yeosang and I were needed down, “Jeong Yunho just came in, I’m needed, but you can stay and finish your coffee.”

Yeosang’s eyebrows furrowed as he grabbed my wrist before I could hurry away, “Is this that man? The cop who was shot at twice? The one who fell over and destroyed the whole room?”

There was a tinge of scepticism and amusement in Yeosang’s tone as I hummed, averting my eyes because I hated lying to him, “Yeah, so I better go before he falls over again.”

Yeosang snorted as he released my wrist, raising his eyebrows, “I won’t have to fix up that room again, right?”

“Nope, I promise.” I blinked at him innocently and he shook his head, leaning back against the railing as I headed for the door, “I’ll call you when I need you, don’t come down until then!”

Yeosang nodded and I turned to race back to the ER, using my vampire speed since nobody was around, besides, I knew nobody was interested enough to watch or rewatch the security cameras. I fixed the collar of my white gown and nodded at the receptionist, showing her a thumbs up when she pointed towards private room number three. The head doctor spotted me and gave me a curt nod before he was whisked away by a nurse, who rushed him down towards the cardiovascular section. The door to the room was already open and Yunho was sitting on the table, his hands intertwined and placed in his lap as he stared at the floor. I pulled the door closed behind me, shutting us in, silence enveloping around us. I knew he didn’t need to get checked, but it would be too suspicious if I came in and he left right away. Besides, this was my chance to get him. I had told Joohyun that Yunho was partly human, so his blood was useful to us. This was the best time to knock him out and kidnap him. He’d do the same if he was in our spot, I’m sure of it.

“Good evening, Mr Jeong,” I spoke up as Yunho raised his head, rolling his eyes.

“Whatever, why did I have to come to the ER again?” He sounded stoic and unimpressed, “You know I didn’t even get stitches.”

“Yes, I do, but the rest of the staff doesn’t.” I snapped, trying to keep my vexation at bay, but after our last encounter I couldn’t help but look at him with spite, bile rising in my throat as his words echoed in my head, he was insufferable, “So unless you want to be discovered, you sit on your ass and shut the fuck up.”

Yunho smirked as I walked closer to him, tilting his head, “Careful, your true colours are showing, Dr Bae, where’s the tempered and kindred-hearted Samaritan wannabe?”

I released a long huff, an unamused smile settling on my lips, “I suppose someone like you doesn’t deserve that treatment from me, so there’s no need to act differently around you. Besides, are you sure that it’s just an act? I’ve lived for over two hundred years, people change.”

“People, yes, not vampires.” His eyes narrowed as I came to stand in front of him, my hands in my pockets, fingers playing with the syringe hidden there.

“You’re wrong about that, Yunho, but you’re too rooted in your hatred to notice it.” Yunho’s rosy cheeks twitched, his eyebrows furrowing some more, “If you wouldn’t have been so blinded by your stupid coven’s preachings, you would have seen that the coven you’ve been hunting for centuries weren’t your enemy.”

“Yeah, right.” Yunho snapped, his jaw clenching, “Every bad thing that’s happened to me was because of you and your leader. I won’t let you walk away anymore, not now that I’ve found you again.”

I smiled, gripping the syringe as I could tell Yunho was getting more and more aggravated. His heart was picking up its rhythm and his eyes were slowly darkening, the crimson swirling deep in his pupil.

“Did you never try to find out more about the bond between the creator and its creation?” I quirked an eyebrow, and based on Yunho’s clenching jaw, it confirmed that he knew about it, but not enough, “You know…I made a mistake after I turned you into a vampire. I left you to fend for yourself, I left you alone and unprotected from the hunters. I can admit my mistake, sure, but I’m also conscious taming you might’ve never worked like with other hunters.”

Yunho released a long huff, sneering at me, “I would’ve ripped you to shreds.”

“Yes, I know.” I chuckled, tilting my head with mock concern, “I heard the carnage you caused once you awakened. As much as I find that hot and appalling at the same time, you ostracised yourself from every coven by doing that. That’s why you’re alone now.”

“No,” Yunho smirked, slowly standing up to tower over me. I gulped as I tilted my head back, unafraid, “I’m alone because I choose to be. I don’t need anyone telling me what to do or breathing down my neck like your stupid coven leader does. Even as a human and a vampire hunter, I never operated on my coven’s terms, that’s why I managed to kill so many vampires.”

I tried to smile, but my blood was boiling in anger as he leaned closer, licking his lips slowly as he took in my expression. Something made my fangs ache the longer we stared into each other’s eyes, my stomach coiling as his sweet blood called out to me.

“That’s why I still manage to kill so many vampires.” Yunho’s deep voice was nothing but a whisper, taunting and full of himself. My hands started trembling as I itched to bash his head in and scream at him, a sinking feeling settling in my gut this time, “Remember Seonghwa? Oh, poor little, gentle, Seonghwa…”

I couldn’t breathe, and my vision blurred as Yunho snorted, raising his hand to cup my cheek, fingers tracing my cold skin, “He begged, a lot, he even promised to stop drinking blood altogether. He almost had me convinced, I can’t lie, his eyes were just so innocent, and he was really loyal to you, did you know that? He actually loved you, fascinating, isn’t it?”

I wished for Yunho to drop dead, for the ground to open up and swallow him alive, for the earth to roll into his lungs and choke him to death. I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from whimpering when he grabbed the side of my neck, caressing my skin so lovingly that he could’ve fooled anyone. There were faint bruises around his neck, my fingerprints ebbed into his skin in an ugly black and green, perhaps he was too human for simple bruises to heal fast, “Would you like to join him?”

Hate was something I had grown familiar with a long time ago. It was an emotion that wrapped around my dead heart and cocooned it in a safety net, protecting it from the coldness of the world, the unfairness and tragedy that followed everywhere I went. In this second, I knew that it was no accident Seonghwa just perished one day, disappearing without a trace and a word. My bottom lip threatened to tremble as I gripped the syringe firmly in my hand, fingers wrapping around it tightly. Then, before Yunho could strike again, I moved swiftly and plunged it into his neck, injecting the sedative into his body. Yunho’s eyes widened as he wrapped his hand around my wrist, yanking the syringe out, but it was already too late. I knew he’d fall to the ground, so I grabbed his arms and pushed him down on the table as he gasped for air, his eyes becoming hazy as he tried to stand, but his muscles were too relaxed, his mind slowly slipping away from his grasp.

“I’ll see you in hell, Jeong Yunho.” I hissed before his eyes fluttered closed, his body going lax on the table. With shaky hands, I fished my phone out of my pocket and texted Joohyun that I had Yunho, and that they had to come to the hospital now. She replied that they were on their way, equipped to take Yunho back to the mansion. Without allowing myself to think about the fact that Yunho was the cause I lost two people I loved most—Yeri, my sister, and Seonghwa, my lover—I dialled Yeosang’s number while I walked to the door and locked it.

“Is the room still in one piece?” Yeosang asked jokingly and I tried to smile, but I felt hollow.

“The room, yes,” But I wasn’t anymore, before Yeosang could realise something was wrong, I continued, “Can you get me a gurney without anyone asking questions?”

“I—what?” Yeosang sounded confused and surprised, but he was up on his feet and moving based on the click of the door on the other side of the phone, “If the head doctor is busy, I might get away with it.”

“Good, I’m in room three, be swift, yeah?”

“Okay, I’ll be there in five.”

And just like that, Jeong Yunho would never see the daylight ever again.

            I was exhausted by the end of my shift. The sun was high up in the sky with a few clouds obscuring it as the morning traffic was rambunctious, with angry and impatient drivers honking every few minutes. The ride home felt like it would never end, the highway was blocked off at one point and I had to wait for twenty minutes until we could get going again. Yeosang, my light and saviour, had proposed staying on a call with me after he saw my state by the end of our shift. He rambled on about cooking a delicious breakfast before putting on his favourite show, rolling into bed, and falling asleep to it. He hadn’t asked questions when I had let him inside the small room with the gurney, eyes falling on Yunho, a flash of recognition crossing Yeosang’s features. I expected him to ask questions and demand answers I couldn’t give him, but he just chuckled and told me he was glad the room had stayed intact this time. He, once more, didn’t ask questions when Joohyun arrived with her two bodyguards, two buff men who were more than excited to haul Yunho on the gurney and out of the hospital, placing a white sheet over his body so nobody would grow suspicious.

“Come straight home once you’re done with your shift,” Joohyun had muttered, her eyes falling on Yeosang, who was busy sanitising the table Yunho had been laying on moments ago, “Make sure he doesn’t say a word.”

There was a threat in Joohyun’s words that didn’t sit well with me, so before she could leave, I grabbed her arm and glared at her, “Yeosang isn’t a threat, don’t make Mark follow him.”

Joohyun considered it for a second as her eyes fell on my co-worker again, a contemplating look crossing her features, “Yunho was your first mistake, so I’ll let you off the hook this time, but make sure it’s not repeated with this Yeosang guy.”

And I knew she meant it, I wouldn’t mess up anything with Yeosang. He didn’t know the truth, but he knew something wasn’t right. As long as he didn’t ask too many questions and didn’t try to find out for himself, I could help his best friend, and perhaps even offer him eternal life. But all these thoughts were pushed to the back of my mind as I pulled up to the mansion, the sunrays were just a bit hotter today as they rosied my cheeks. I could hear a commotion inside as I walked closer, the door opening before I could even grab the doorknob. Seulgi stood in the foyer with her arms crossed, expression displeased.

“Your little hunter killed a maid, screamed to be let out for hours on end, and finally stopped when Seungwan went inside to give him another sedative. He’s been silent since, but he’s tried to break free at least three times.” I sighed, closing my eyes as I leaned against the wall, my feet aching from having stood on them so much all night long, “Now, thanks to him, everyone in the mansion knows of our plan, and there have been upheavals. Joohyun’s been holding a meeting since five o’clock, welcome home, Y/N.”

My jaw clenched as my head pulsated, muscles begging for a long hot bath. I suppose I wouldn’t get that, not yet at least, “What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry?”

“No,” Seulgi scoffed, walking closer as she grabbed the tray of food off the table in the middle of the room, “He’s your creation, so go tame him. I don’t care what you do with him, but if he’s not well-behaved, I will kill him before we can awaken Yeri. This is your mess, so fix it.”

My jaw clenched as she pushed the tray of food against my abdomen, forcing me to take hold of it, “He’s been refusing to drink any blood, so go feed him. He can’t be malnourished when we need his blood.”

“Can’t I take a bath first?” I asked defeated as I let my bag fall to the ground, hopeful that our maid would notice it and take it up to my room for me. I don’t think I’d have the power to come downstairs once more today before I get to sleep. Seulgi’s face, however, was a clear answer that I wouldn’t get a breather before I’d have to face Yunho, so, I sighed and headed for the wide staircase, trying to steel my nerves and push through just for a little bit more. My phone dinged, and I grabbed it before I could head down the hallway to check Yeosang’s message. It was a selfie of him and his favourite plushie, a cute expression on his face as he winked at the camera. I chuckled and snapped a shot of the meal on the tray, telling him my breakfast was ready too…even if it was a lie. After covering for me today, I felt like he deserved to believe my being was normal, even if not true. Yeosang didn’t deserve to lay awake at night—or day, in our case—wondering why I was so strange and whether he was safe or not by my side.

I came to a stop in front of the room Yunho was held hostage in and looked down at my black heels, ankles a bit wobbly. I stepped out of the heels before pushing them to the side, instant relief flooding my calves and toes, a quiet groan leaving my lips. If Yunho’s hearing wasn’t already focused on every little sound, now he certainly was alerted of my presence outside his door. I didn’t knock even though it felt wrong, just unlocked the door and hurried inside to make sure he didn’t try to leave. I expected him to be all up in my face, expression maddened and chest heaving, his face red from anger and his muscles shaking from straining, but I was met with a Yunho sprawled out on the queen-sized bed, his feet dangling off the edge. The lock clicked into place behind me as I walked further inside, taking in the brightness of the room. The blackout curtains were completely undrawn, a harsh stream of light flooding the room. So, Yunho wasn’t as bothered by sunlight as the rest of us. I kept my eyes on his unmoving body as I proceeded further into the room, placing the tray on the desk. There was a bottle of water, half emptied, next to some painkillers that looked untouched. Right, I had used a higher dose of the sedative since I didn’t know how his body would take it, some side effects like a headache and nausea would be expected for a human…but Yunho wasn’t fully human, so we had no idea how his body would take it.

The silver tray clinked as it slipped from my hands slightly, fingers shaky from exhaustion as I took a deep breath, telling myself that I would be soon done here and in the safety of my room. The sound, however, elicited the skip of Yunho’s heartbeat as his head raised, eyes narrowed when he realised it was me in his room. Perhaps he was still under the influence of the sedative, that’s why he looked slightly dazed. He stood, slowly pushing himself up as I released the tray and set it aside, ready to leave, but suddenly he was all up in my personal space, crowding me against the side of the desk. I flinched, taken aback by his actions, and gripped the edge of the desk for stability. There was exhaustion in Yunho’s eyes as he stared down at me, then looked past me at the tray. There was no reason for me to feel nervous all of a sudden, especially not when my anger was far from being gone, but the sudden closeness allowed for me to inhale Yunho’s scent greedily, gums itchy as my fangs wanted to grow just a bit longer to sink into his warm skin.

“Is that for me?” Yunho’s voice was raspy as he nodded towards the food on the tray, and I glanced back to look at the copious food.

“Yes—” My answer was cut short when a hand wrapped around my neck, slamming me against the wall. I groaned in exasperation and grabbed Yunho’s wrist, my nails sinking into his skin as I scowled at him, annoyance flaring up my insides, “You have to stop throwing me around, it’s getting old, Yunho.”

He didn’t say anything as his fingers started squeezing harder, making it difficult for me to breathe. But I wouldn’t give in, not when we were so close to having Yeri back, so I kicked at his legs until he had to step back, his crimson eye gleaming under the natural light.

“You took me as your hostage,” Yunho spat, his heart slowly starting to race, “And you’re planning on using me to awaken your sister, wasn’t she dead?”

“I see they’ve explained everything to you.” I smirked and patted down the front of my blouse, an expression of satisfaction crossing my features as I raised an eyebrow at Yunho, “How does it feel to know you didn’t actually kill my sister? Even better…you are going to bring her back to life—”

But truly to Yunho, his anger got the better of him as he slammed me back into the wall, squeezing my cheeks together so it was difficult to speak. I must’ve looked silly with my lips jutting out, the pressure on my cheekbones wasn’t light, but I couldn’t help but feel satisfied by his reaction.

“She won’t come back, I’ll make sure of that.” Yunho hissed, his eyes searching my face, “You’ve led me to your lovely hideout, too, I’m going to hunt down every single one of you, Y/N. And I’ll leave you for last so that you can watch everyone perish right in front of your eyes.”

I slapped his hand away as I sneered at him, resisting the urge to punch him, “Your threats, too, are getting old, Yunho. If you think you can just waltz in here and take down a whole coven, you are wrong. Nothing is the same anymore, we’ve changed too. What makes you think you’d get away with it?”

“I’m part of the police.”

“And so are we.” A beat of silence passed as Yunho processed the information, eyebrows furrowing for a second in confusion, “Now eat your goddamn food and behave, Yunho, don’t make it harder than it has to be. You shouldn’t have killed that maid, she did nothing to wrong you.”

“A human willingly subjecting themselves to vampires are just as vile as the creatures we are, I should put each one of them out of their misery.” Yunho hissed, his jaw clenching as I huffed, pushing him back by his chest to free myself. I barely took a few steps, however, when Yunho’s iron grip around my bicep stopped me, “Take that disgusting thing away from me, I don’t eat human food.”

I paused, eyebrows furrowing. I thought Yunho was more human than a vampire, so how come he didn’t eat normal food? Maybe he was just trying to play with us. I took a deep breath and turned my head to look over my shoulder at him, “Don’t think you can toy with me, Yunho, the less difficult you are, the faster we’ll be done with everything.”

“I’m a goddamn vampire, how do you expect me to stomach regular food?!” Yunho snapped, his patience running thin once again as he whirled me around, dragging me back towards the desk. I stumbled over my feet due to the force but caught myself on the edge of the desk. I threw him a heated glare, narrowing my eyes at him in annoyance. Getting manhandled by him was turning old rather fast.

“You taste and smell human, your heart is still pumping blood, why do you think I assumed you ate food like any other human?” I scoffed, grabbing the tray to take it away with me. If he didn’t want to eat normal food, fine, I didn’t care. He could starve himself, at least he’d die faster once we were done with the ritual.

“Stop saying I’m human!” Yunho screamed, his voice wavering, “I’m a fucking monster, I’m just like you! That thing they gave me—my coven—that serum made me like this! I didn’t die nor become completely a vampire because I was already digesting vampire blood, to begin with, unbeknownst to me. My system was used to it and couldn’t break the particles down accordingly, I’m an abomination.”

So that’s why he was like this, then. I knew the hunters were taking something back then, something that enhanced their strength and speed, but I would’ve never thought they willingly drained the blood of vampires just to harvest it for terrible experiments. I sighed, looking down at the tray in my hands. I didn’t understand why Yunho hated being a vampire so much, after all those years, I assumed his prejudice would lessen, but no, he was still rooted in his hatred for us, indoctrinated to take us out no matter what…no matter if he was one of us, now.

“Can you…” I sounded tired as my jaw clenched, my exhaustion catching up with me all of a sudden, “Stop calling us monsters? Calling yourself an abomination? It’s not—we’re not the devils you were made to believe we are, Yunho, we were once, yes, I can’t deny that. But not anymore, we’ve evolved with the rest of the world, we’ve changed our ways, it’s…we don’t kill for the fun of it anymore, can’t you see that? Can’t you try and understand?”

Yunho shook his head, expression filled with disgust, “Maybe you think so, but I see it first hand, day after day what vampires are capable of, the many lives they still take, the families they rip apart for entertainment, the people they drive mad because they can—so don’t come here and try to lecture me about my beliefs when you don’t know shit!”

I jumped when Yunho’s curled fist came down on the tray I was holding, sending the contents to the ground as the porcelain shattered and the delicious-looking food splashed all over the floor. I stared at it, dumbfounded, until I felt something warm trickle down my palm, between my fingers. I hissed as I registered the sting of the cut left by the sharp edge of the tray, turning around my hand to bring it closer to my face. The wound wasn’t too big, located in the centre of my palm, but it oozed more blood than it was supposed to. Perhaps the cut went deeper than I expected, that would explain the dull sting of pain travelling through my nerves. Nothing a little sanitiser couldn’t help, though I doubt the wound would stay open until I reached my room to clean it up, it was already slowly closing up. There was a strained inhale, however, and I realised Yunho’s heart was racing as I slowly lifted my head. His face had paled and his lips were parted, saliva gathering in the corner of his mouth as he gulped down the excess, his eyes shaking. Yunho’s scent was suddenly overbearing as he stepped over the mess on the floor, his eyes fixed on the blood that had pooled in my palm. I felt something deep in my gut coil, my skin feeling peculiarly hot as Yunho gripped my hand harshly, raising it to his face.

I stopped breathing as I watched his eyes flutter closed, nose almost buried into my palm as he inhaled long, his lips parting even further as a small groan slipped through. My eyes widened, and before I could pull back and make sense of his sudden actions, fingers cradling through my hair at the back of my head immobilised me, the grip firm and strong as I felt cold and sharp teeth sink into my neck. I tried to recoil from Yunho’s fangs sinking deeper into my skin, but he was suddenly much stronger than ever before, flushing me against his body in an iron grip as his fangs hit my artery, making me groan in pain. I could feel every single muscle in my body tense up at the intrusion, my brain commanding me to fight back as bile raised in my throat, my fingers curling into Yunho’s form-fitting black blouse. It stung as he greedily gulped down my rich blood, the gurgling noises were loud as I was moved backwards until my back hit the wall. I was too exhausted to fight back with my whole being, but the more I tugged at Yunho’s hair in hopes he’d release me, the harder he sucked, moans slipping past his lips. I was getting lightheaded as my legs became sore, unable to feel my toes I gasped, something snapping deep in my gut.

A scorching hot flame travelled through my body, making me gasp loudly as my head fell back against the wall, lips parted in a whine as I leaned more towards Yunho, baring my neck for him so he’d have more access to it. The light-headedness turned into a daze one only experienced when drinking from their partner during sex, and suddenly I was aching all over, my fangs pushing past my bottom lip as my gums ached, “Yunho, wait, stop—”

But he didn’t listen as he slotted a thigh between my legs, pressing it against my suddenly aching core, and I moaned, relieved by the pressure, but it wasn’t good enough. If he continued drinking my blood, he’d leave me too drained. I couldn’t let him do that, but I couldn’t make him budge as he clung to me, whimpers slipping past his lips as if he hadn’t fed in over a month. I had never experienced anything like this with anyone before, drinking blood without having sex wasn’t pleasurable, it was painful and appalling, but right now all I could think about was Yunho’s strong thigh pressing against where I needed him most, my hips slowly starting to move as I ground against him. Yunho’s large hand curled around my jaw as I felt his fangs finally retract from my neck, the bite leaving a dull pulsating in my neck. I felt breathless, my body on fire as Yunho raised his head, both eyes bloodshot. I would’ve gasped at the sight if it wasn’t for the lips that pressed hungrily against mine, tasting my own blood on Yunho’s lips felt foreign but not as disgusting as one would expect.

There was something about his warmth and his racing heart that made my brain feel intoxicated, making me realise this wasn’t enough, that I needed more and that I needed it now. I groaned as our lips tried to find a rhythm, but Yunho wouldn’t surrender as he nipped at my bottom lip, trying to lick into my mouth as I resisted giving in fully to him. He was so warm it felt as if his body was burning up, much like the sun, melting away the coldness that clung to mine all the time. It felt like when I had awakened, aware of everything surrounding me and so overly sensitive. He gripped my hip with one hand as the other still cradled my jaw, and suddenly started guiding my hip in a dangerously slow rhythm, making me groan against his lips. I couldn’t fight back, though, it felt too good to ask him to stop, and yet it wasn’t enough, so I finally parted my lips and allowed him to explore my mouth with his eager tongue, suckling on my tongue like it would satiate his hunger. Yunho moaned as I felt his hand on my hip start to trace up my torso, gripping at my skin through my clothes, cupping my breast as he squeezed it, not stalling as it travelled up to rest at the base of my neck.

“Why is your blood so sweet?” Yunho rasped out as our mouths finally detached, my lungs felt on fire despite us not having kissed for too long. I needed a second to realise Yunho had asked me a question, mind fogged up with desire as I could finally grind against him however I wished. Yunho looked down between us and groaned, his grip tightening just a bit around my neck, “Answer me, Y/N.”

“I don’t know,” I whispered, eyebrows furrowing when Yunho grabbed me again, stilling my movements, “Fuck, I’m not lying, I genuinely don’t know. Your blood is sweet too, too sweet, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Anytime your scent hit me harder, all I could think about was sinking my teeth into your skin, your warm and rich blood, the aching of my fangs.”

“Yeah?” Yunho groaned, his eyebrows furrowed as he leaned closer, his lips ghosting over my neck and I shuddered, fingers tangling into his dark blue hair.

“Yeah.” I keened as he pressed a gentle kiss against my neck, tongue lapping at the teeth marks that hadn’t faded yet. Feeling his tongue against my skin made me tremble as my body felt ignited by sparks of desire, and I massaged Yunho’s scalp as he continued peppering kisses against my neck, sometimes nipping at the skin without biting into it.

“I could suck you dry,” Yunho mumbled, biting at my jaw just a bit harder, making me yelp. He raised his head so we were looking into each other’s eyes, both burning with want in them, “I could rip your heart out even, or I could tie you down and escape, kill your whole coven and come back to finish you off later.”

I chuckled, one hand sneaking down his torso, grabbing at the obvious bulge in his jeans. Yunho’s jaw suddenly clenched, his eyes shifting downwards before he looked back at me, “Really? Could you do that when your dick is straining like that against your pants?”

“Shut up.” Yunho hissed, disgust crossing his features before he slammed his lips against mine for a second time, making me laugh as I tried to dodge his insistent kiss. My amusement didn’t last for long, however, because I was suddenly hoisted up, legs around Yunho’s hips as I clung to his larger body, confusion written all over my face. Yunho didn’t look at me as he took us to the bed, sitting down with me in his lap as he leaned closer, burying his nose in my neck as he inhaled deeply, long fingers digging into my back as he felt me up. I closed my eyes and shifted forward just slightly, back arching when Yunho’s hands settled on my hip, realising I was seated right over his dick, his bulge pressing up into my clenching core. With an experimental roll, I tilted Yunho’s head back and leaned down, lips hovering above his as he breathed through his mouth, eyebrows furrowed and eyes ablaze as he stared up at me.

“I’m your creator, don’t think you can harm me as easily as you’d like.” Before he could say anything, our lips met again, moving hungrily as I pushed my tongue past his teeth, tasting him again with hunger, hips picking up a steady rhythm as Yunho’s hands helped for an easier glide. He tasted like mint and candy, not as sweet as his blood, but almost just as satiating. It was a constant push and pull between us, and I knew I didn’t want to be in his arms like this, but something just felt right about letting him kiss me, touch me, feel me up, and even feed from me. I suppressed a moan as he ground up just a bit harsher, his fingers to leave faint bruises if he squeezed any harder, mouth warm against mine. He tipped his head back as my hands cradled his cheeks, fingers buried in his warm skin as our tongues continued to tangle together. A particularly slower roll of my hips, however, had Yunho’s eyebrows furrowing as he turned his head, breathing loudly as his chest heaved. I smirked and kissed his cheek before dipping my head, exploring his soft skin and appetizing neck, his bulging veins practically begging for my fangs to sink into them.

“Is there—fuck,” I teased his skin by biting into it without leaving a trace, licking the faint teeth mark with my tongue before it could disappear, “There’s a deeper connection between us, isn’t it?”

I hummed, pulling back to look down at Yunho, my hips finding a slower rhythm just to antagonise him more, “Yeah, I made you, so in some ways we are connected. It manifests differently in each vampire, though.”

Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed and suddenly he stopped me, leaning forward so that his lips hovered over mine, “You think I can’t kill you?”

“I know you’d like to try,” I chuckled, pressing a mocking kiss against the corner of his mouth. Being with Yunho felt right, something about our bodies being so close to each other felt calming despite the hatred we carried for each other. I couldn’t trust him, but something told me he wouldn’t rip out my heart right now, “But when I turned you, I only wanted you to suffer and not actually lose your life. When one turns into a vampire, it takes attributes from their creator and the purpose they’ve been turned with matters for how they’ll look at their creator. I know you’ll eventually find a way to kill me, but until then, you’re physically unable to do so, Yunho.”

Yunho’s jaw clenched as he stopped my ministrations, hatred and disgust swirling in his irises. He didn’t say anything for a second, but the hand around my throat was a good warning that he thought about choking me again. At this point, he made me think he had a kink for seeing me fight for a single breath, and it wasn’t as hot as one would think. But behind all those strong emotions, there was fear hiding behind Yunho’s brown eye, his bottom lip quivering when he spoke.

“I hate what I am, and I will make sure all of us eventually die, I won’t let humanity become enslaved to vampires.” He whispered, gripping my neck just a bit tighter, “You can keep me here all you want, Y/N, I will never help you. Yeri will remain in her slumber because I refuse to give you my blood, and you can’t take it if I won’t let it.”

I smiled, patting Yunho’s cheek almost affectionately, “I can’t, but Sooyoung and anyone else can.”

I pressed a chaste kiss against his lips before detaching myself, oddly feeling cold and guilty. I didn’t want Yunho to hate me so ardently, but the feeling was mutual despite me having pushed it to the darkest corners of my mind. He had killed Seonghwa, the man I wished to live with for an eternity. There was no scenario in which I could forgive Yunho for his sins, and I trusted he’d be punished for everything he’s done one day. Yunho remained motionless as I stood, patting down my hair and readjusting my blouse, my swollen lips tingling as Yunho licked his. My desire wasn’t the most important thing, I wasn’t here to sleep with Yunho, no matter how much my body yearned for it.

“I will slaughter you if you touch me—”

“Everyone has a price, Yunho.”

“I don’t, Y/N.”

I chuckled, walking past the mess on the floor as I grabbed the key out of my pocket. Yunho could’ve taken it this whole time, yet he didn’t. He knew where it was, his eyes now fixed on it, but he made no moves to stand from the bed. His cheeks were flushed and his pouty lips even plumper, his blouse askew, and the bulge less visible in his jeans.

“Yes, you do, Yunho.” I twisted the lock and turned to give his defeated body one last look, “Song Mingi.”

And I left the room as Yunho gasped, springing up from the bed and banging on the door to be let out. Everyone had a price, even Jeong Yunho. A life for a life.

            The full moon was high in the sky, its gentle light radiating through the open windows. The breeze was cool but nobody could feel it in the dimly lit room, red candles burning away as the strong scent of blue sage filled our nostrils. The vampires around me wore dark burgundy capes, the hoods draped over their eyes as their hands remained buried in their sleeves. My fingers gently traced Yeri’s soft hair, her skin pale and sickly as she remained unmoving. The conference room had been transformed for the ritual, Yeri’s body now aligned in the middle on an altar decorated with white flowers and a silky tablecloth. Her dress was pristine, the small gems embroidered into it sparkling if the light fell on it just right. My dark gown touched the floor as I remained standing next to Yeri’s body, murmuring reassuring things to her in hopes she could hear me. The low murmur of the other vampires suddenly stopped as the double doors opened, Mingyu and Chanyeol carrying a tied-down Yunho inside the room. The silver around his body dug into his skin, and judging by the prominent vein on his forehead and his straining jaw, it was more painful than he could handle. Our eyes met as he was dragged towards the altar, Mingyu muttering a low warning in his ear before Yunho could even think of escaping.

Joohyun, wearing her white dress followed inside, a flower crown prettily decorating her head. She looked innocent, dainty, like an unassuming maiden as she took slow but powerful steps towards the altar, a book in her hands. The long sleeves of her dress hid her hands, and I flinched when I felt a hand grab my shoulder. Sooyoung motioned to the side, gently pulling me away from my sister’s body as my gut coiled nervously, eyes falling on her before watching Yunho again, scared that he’d try to kill her once more. Flashes of Yeri’s bloodied body made me close my eyes, my hands shaky as Sooyoung offered her hand silently, a support she knew I needed right now. I released a shaky breath and watched as Joohyun went to the head of the altar, standing behind Yeri. She looked down at my sister and smiled softly as she traced her eyes for a second, then looked up with a hardened expression. Yunho was dragged next to her by the two bodyguards, trying to trash around in their grips, but the silver only made his skin burn more, so he succumbed to the pain and stopped moving around. His chest was heaving and everyone could hear his racing heart, our eyes found each other once again and I could see just how much he wished to kill every single one of us in the room. I don’t think I have ever felt someone’s hatred as intensely as Yunho’s right now. My jaw clenched as I looked away, focusing on Yeri instead as Joohyun opened her arms, her eyes fluttering closed.

“Everyone, please join hands.” Her soothing voice rang out in the quiet room as everyone followed Joohyun’s instructions. We all stepped closer to the altar, our hands joining together as Yunho looked around frantically, probably looking for a route to escape, “We are here, Yerim, we will set you free. Your suffering ends today.”

I gulped, feeling a tightness in my throat as I looked at my sister, everyone else’s head bowed down in respect to the coven leader. Joohyun met my eyes as she opened the book she had brought with her, an ancient artefact that carried all of our secrets. Perhaps Yunho knew that too because his eyes widened as they fell on it, trying to mutter something, but the rag tied around his mouth made it sound intangible. A slow hum left Joohyun’s throat as she grabbed the silver knife placed on the altar, the book placed by Yeri’s head was flipped open to a page I had never seen before. The gathered vampires followed Joohyun’s lead, and soon I found myself humming lowly in my throat, feeling like I was being electroshocked each time Joohyun’s intonation changed. She was humming a lullaby I hadn’t heard before, but the rest of us kept the initial hum going, concentrating on keeping it uniform. Joohyun raised her hand, muttering a quiet prayer before she cut her finger, drawing a bloody cross on Yeri’s forehead. Yunho’s face morphed into disgust as he tried to speak, yanking on his restraints to no avail as I watched him with furrowed eyebrows, coming to a sudden realisation. Joohyun would kill Yunho once the ritual was over, he wasn’t allowed to live another day.

That wasn’t the realisation, however, but the voice that whispered to me to save him, to take him away before the light faded from his eyes. It was always hard for the creator to watch its offspring perish, but there was something deeper about this that I couldn’t fully understand. Yunho’s eyes shook as we looked at each other again and his jaw clenched when he was hauled forward by Mingyu, Joohyun’s arms extended as she continued to mutter under her breath an incantation in an ancient language I’d never heard before. I didn’t want Yunho to die once Yeri awakened, I had promised a life for a life, and suddenly I realised the voice I heard in my head wasn’t mine, it was Yunho’s low timbre pleading with me to find a way out. He was looking for Song Mingi, whoever that was, he couldn’t die until he found him alive and breathing. My eyes widened as Joohyun raised the silver knife high, her eyes completely white as she hissed. I tried to move towards her, suddenly afraid she’d kill Yunho right now, but Sooyoung’s grip on my hand tightened, yanking me back to my spot. She shot me a warning look, enough to tell me that if I broke the circle, the ritual would not work out. So, with bile in my throat, I was forced to listen to Yunho’s racing heart as Joohyun cut a small gash on his neck, grabbing the back of his head and forcing it down.

His blood trickled slowly as he forced his eyes shut, arms trying to rip his silver chains apart, but I could smell his burnt skin mixing with his blood’s intoxicating scent. I could feel my fangs poking against my bottom lip, but this wasn’t the time or place to yearn for Yunho’s sweet blood. My eyes zeroed in on the first blood droplet as it splashed against Yeri’s closed mouth, then another, and another, until it was enough to trickle inside her mouth. Joohyun continued chanting, her voice rising in volume as did the hum of the vampires, and I realised I was doing it involuntarily as if I was entranced by our leader. Joohyun’s head snapped back with a sickening crack as her mouth opened, all sounds halting as Yunho was trembling, fear, anger, and disgust swirling in his irises as more blood trickled down his neck, wetting Yeri’s lips. Then, as the silence stretched on and Chanyeol had to catch Joohyun’s limp body when it fell backwards, there was a loud gasp as if someone had been suffocating but managed to break through the surface. The vampires froze as my eyes widened, watching as Yeri’s bloodshot eyes snapped open, disoriented and full of fear until they fell on the hovering hunter above her.

I felt my knees wobble as I watched my once again living little sister grab the back of Yunho’s head and yank him down, sinking her fangs into his neck. A pained sound left Yunho’s body as Mingyu stepped back, a satisfied smirk on his face as he let Yeri have her way with Yunho. The vampires looked astonished as our circle broke apart, some taking steps back while the others remained frozen. I could hear Seungwan crying behind me, her sobs loud as Seulgi hurried to Joohyun’s aid, snapping orders at Chanyeol as to what to do with her. Sooyoung remained on my side, her grip bruising on my bicep as we watched Yeri breathlessly, my eyes filled with burning tears as Yunho struggled to break free from my sister’s attack. She looked famished, her eyes were gleaming red and she was greedily gulping down Yunho’s blood, long nails piercing his skin as her eyes snapped around the room alarmed until they fell on me. Yunho had stopped trashing around, his breathing becoming shallow, and I realised that his heartbeat was alarmingly slowing down. Feeling an unexplainable pull, I jumped forward and pushed Yeri off him, her fangs dripping with his hot blood as Yunho slumped against the altar, struggling to breathe. Sooyoung was by my side, cradling Yeri to her chest as I rushed around the altar, holding Yunho up and yanking the rag off his mouth.

“Water.” He heaved out, struggling to breathe, “I can’t—breathe.”

I felt myself panic as I looked around, but nobody seemed to want to help the hunter. My jaw clenched as I heard my sister’s timid voice asking what had happened and why everything felt so weird, but upon my eyes meeting with Sooyoung’s, I understood that she’d take care of my sister while I tended to the hunter.

“Come on,” I whispered and hauled Yunho’s large form into my arms, his weight pressing but nothing I couldn’t handle. I felt judgmental stares follow after me, some murmured even, as I hurried back to the room Yunho was held inside, wondering if my heart would be racing in fright if it was still beating. Yunho was mumbling intangible things, but I didn’t focus on them as I barged inside the bedroom and hurriedly placed him on the bed, my skin burning when I touched the silver chains. They were enchanted so that Yunho couldn’t break them, but they came undone easily under my grip. His arms unravelled from around his body as he groaned, trying to turn onto his side as he squeezed his eyes shut. I hurried to the desk, grabbed the bottle of water he hadn’t touched since yesterday, and uncapped it as I held his head up, knees sinking into the soft mattress of the bed. When Yunho realised I was helping him drink, he gripped my hand greedily and downed the bottle, breathing hard as his head fell back to the mattress, eyes half opened as he tiredly looked at me.

I gulped and stood back, putting distance between us when I realised his heart had a steady rhythm once again, “You didn’t let her kill me.”

I huffed, an unimpressed smile pulling at my lips, “It’s not just you who can’t kill me, Yunho, I can’t kill you either…for now.”

“For now.” Yunho echoed, his voice gruff as he curled up in a ball, his teeth chattering, “I will escape—and there will be no trace left of the Bae Coven.”

And I knew he meant it, so I hummed and pulled a blanket over his shivering body, knowing that he needed the rest. I left the room with a sinking feeling in my stomach and locked the door twice, pocketing the key to make sure nobody would be able to enter it. I couldn’t risk them doing anything to Yunho. But until he recovered, my sister was the most important thing.

            The mansion felt more alive than ever before. It’s been barely three days since Yeri awakened, yet joy and laughter filled every hallway of the otherwise sombre house. It felt like a rock had been lifted off my chest, like I could breathe easier as I could finally smile and enjoy another sunrise. Yeri, despite her brightness, hid a darkness she thought we couldn’t see. She was trying to come to terms with the fact that she’d been dead for over two hundred years and that the world she once knew wasn’t the same. It was hard, I could see it in her forced smiles and her jumpy body whenever someone crept too close to her as if she was expecting to be staked again. I couldn’t understand her pain, but I could be there for her to help her out. My bed no longer was empty, she’d be waiting for me after my shifts, her pyjamas pink and her hair now short. She looked gorgeous as the sun beamed inside, surprisingly she craved the summer warmth more than any of us. I smiled as I entered my room, a phone she still struggled to understand in her hands, her eyebrows furrowed as she kept pressing the screen.

“What are you doing?” I asked with a chuckle, walking closer to my bed. Nobody had seen Yunho in the past three days, and nobody but me was allowed to enter his room. The coven was undecided about his fate, and it was all thanks to Seungwan’s kindred spirit and my insistence that keeping him alive would benefit us. The others didn’t have to know that somehow a selfish part of me had grown dependent on the vampire hunter, the thought of losing him now sounded terrible. He was a bad man worthy of punishment, but the song of his blood was stronger than all the bottled-up feelings I’d felt for him for so long.

“Seulgi downloaded some game for me, apparently,” Yeri answered as I kneeled on the bed next to her, my room now decorated in pink trinkets. Yeri’s always loved pink, she even wanted to dye her hair the colour once she found out it was now possible, “But this stupid thing won’t work!”

Her accent was heavy and of different times, it brought a sense of nostalgia over me as I grabbed her phone out of her hands and placed it aside. Yeri just pouted as she looked at me, her calmness managing to settle my nerves. Our bond was special, after I had turned her into a vampire, something connected us like nobody else. I could feel her emotions and she could tell where I was all the time, whether I was safe or in danger. Knowing that she finally wasn’t in distress managed to make me feel less bad about the fact that I couldn’t be by her side all the time due to my job.

“What did you do today?” I asked as I brushed a strand of short hair out of her eyes.

“Sooyoung showed me the—garage and we went for a ride?” Yeri’s lips pursed as she grabbed my hand to hold it, “But she said the horses and carriages were replaced a long time ago…I really wanted to go on horseback, though.”

I chuckled, taking in my sister’s less pale complex and her reddish irises. She wasn’t warm, but her voice filled my chest with adoration, “We’ll buy you some horses, I’ll talk to Joohyun.”

“Is it true you won’t let anyone see the hunter?” Yeri’s voice was just a whisper as I looked down, chewing the inside of my mouth.

“Yes, I have to sort out some issues first, I’m sorry.” Yeri just hummed, and then I felt her hand cupping my cheek.

“I’m not mad at you,” She was smiling softly, her eyes sad, “You can do whatever to him, he’s yours. If you wouldn’t have turned him, I would’ve never returned. Seungwan told me all the things you did for me, the research, the places you visited to find out more, thank you. I knew you were a great sister, yet you surprised me once again. I love you, Y/N.”

I leaned forward to hug her tightly, sniffing a bit as I felt the tears burn my eyes, “I love you too, Yeri, I’m glad you are back.”

“Me too,” Yeri giggled, but then her excitement died down, “This world is scary, though, I don’t think I like it here.”

“You’ll get used to it, a lot has changed and a lot has improved, living now is a bit more comfortable.” Yeri nodded as I slowly got off the bed, looking towards the bag I had discarded at the door.

“You’ll go see him, right?” She pointed towards my bag, “That’s why you brought home blood.”

I hummed as I grabbed the two blood bags out of my bag, gripping the doorknob, “I have to, if I didn’t hear his heartbeat, I’d think he was already dead.”

Yeri chuckled as she fell back into the pillows, clutching one to her chest, “Don’t take too long, I still have so many questions before you fall asleep.”

I laughed and nodded before closing the door, then headed for Yunho’s room which was one floor underneath us. I could feel my hands sweat for no reason, something in my gut twisting. I fidgeted with the key as I stopped in front of his door, debating whether I should knock first or not. Most of the coven was asleep now or out doing their daytime jobs, but a few remained in the mansion to hide out. I unlocked the door and slowly pushed it open, looking first at the bed, but Yunho wasn’t there. My eyebrows furrowed as I realised I could smell his scent inside the room, but it was faint. His heartbeat, however, was strong and telling me that he was inside the room. The door clicked shut behind me as I realised the window’s lock was broken, now wide open as the breeze billowed through the curtains. My eyebrows furrowed as I whirled around, looking for Yunho. Was he inside the bathroom? The water wasn’t running, but maybe he was in there. But if the window was open, why hadn’t he escaped yet? In my confusion, I failed to notice him creeping up on me, one large hand wrapping around my throat from behind. I froze, hands holding the blood bags tighter.

“You finally came,” Yunho muttered into my ear and goosebumps erupted on my skin, his lips warm as they brushed against the shell of my ear, “Thought you’d never visit your favourite vampire hunter.”

“You’re a bit bold, don’t you think?” I questioned, making Yunho chuckle, “Did you regain your power?”

“Mostly,” Yunho hummed walking us closer to the window, “But I’m famished.”

“That’s why I brought you blood.” I raised one blood bag, but Yunho tsked, “What? Is it not good enough for you?”

“I have my ways of hunting, and right now…” My jaw clenched as he lightly nipped at my jaw, “I’m craving something fresh, something warm, young, and something that’s inside this mansion.”

My eyebrows furrowed as Yunho’s hand tightened around my neck, the two of us standing in front of the window. He chuckled, and before I could ask what he meant, he kissed the corner of my mouth tauntingly before his lips brushed against my ear once again, “You didn’t lock the door.”

The glass cracked as my head collided with it, making me let out a pained yelp as I fell against the windows, blood bags falling from my hands. My head thumped painfully as I hissed, trying to regain my bearings as my vision swam for a second, turning around to face Yunho…except that he wasn’t inside the room anymore, the door wide open. My eyes widened as I felt a chill run down my spine, with feet tangling together, I dashed towards the door, mind whirling where he could’ve gone. And then, the thought struck me like lightning, and I screamed Yeri’s name as I dashed up towards our shared room, my hands shaking as I barged inside. The window was still open, a pink shawl on the floor as she lay on it, her eyes closed and—I stopped breathing as I kneeled next to her, unable to tell if she was dead or not. But gripping her cheeks painfully, she stirred and blinked her eyes open, confused and alarmed.

“Y/N?”

“Lock the door and the windows, do not go out until I say so,” I commanded as I rose to my feet, body now shaking from anger as I realised Yunho had tricked me on purpose so he could flee. I slammed the door behind myself and fled the mansion as well, sweating under the scorching hot sun as I turned around in one spot, trying to clear my mind to find Yunho. He was close, without drinking blood, he wasn’t as fast as usual, and the sun would also hurt him now, so I wondered where he was hiding. Taking a car would’ve been too obvious and loud, so that means…my eyes fell on the forest, and before I could blink my feet were already moving towards it, branches snapping under my weight as I ran fast, trying to track his scent down. The sounds of the forest felt disorienting with all the flowery scents making me feel nauseous, the birds chirping over my head feeling as if they were taunting me since I couldn’t hear Yunho’s heart anymore. I stopped to catch my breath and closed my eyes, hearing the creak not far from here. Would he go there to try and refresh himself before he continued trekking back to the city? And just like that, faint sweetness made my throat go dry. He was here, close by, and I would catch him.

I took off running again, pushing myself just a bit further despite the strong sun making my muscles ache, and I almost missed him as I wheezed past a deer. He was using it to mask himself, I smirked as I stopped behind a tree, watching the two move as one. The deer seemed almost unaware of Yunho’s presence right next to it, but Yunho’s narrowed eyes told me that he was trying to find me as he felt the place out. Without giving him the chance to find me, I pounced towards him, scaring the deer off as Yunho hissed when my body collided with his, pushing him down to the ground. The scenery felt eerily similar, except that it was daytime now and Yunho was as much of a vampire as me. The last I got to straddle him in a forest was the night I turned him into one of us after having played around with him for a bit. Yunho’s chest fell and rose rapidly, his eyes burning as he gripped my hips and tried to flip us over, but my thighs squeezed his torso firmly.

“Did you think you could outrun me?” I chuckled, raising my eyebrows at him, “You haven’t had any blood in three days after you were nearly drained, I thought you were smarter than that, Yunho.”

“How’s your sister doing, by the way?” The question paired with his insufferable smirk felt like a punch to my gut, and before I could stop myself, I landed a harsh slap across his cheek. Yunho’s head whipped to the side, but instead of the anger I was expecting, he started laughing, his shoulders shaking as he suddenly went lax underneath me. I glared at him as I gripped his jaw and forced him to face me, his cheeks and neck were red, his pointy lips chapped, and his dark blue hair messy.

“You’re fucking lucky I created you, Yunho.” I hissed, grip tightening on his jaw. He hummed, staring up at the clear sky.

“I almost thought you had forgotten about me,” It seemed like he wasn’t done taunting me as he pushed his lips out, looking up at me with his big eyes, “Shouldn’t you look out for me? See? You abandoned me again, and then you’re surprised I can’t trust you…”

“Quit the bullshit, Yunho.” I snapped, fed up with his attitude as he laughed, one hand sneaking to my lower back as I tensed, “You can’t leave until the coven hasn’t decided your fate. Joohyun won’t let you leave now, most likely, and it’s your fault.”

“Everything is always my fault,” Yunho groaned as he rolled his eyes, his other hand sneaking up on my thigh. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked down at his hand, feeling that warm flicker deep in my stomach. It was back, that feeling of belonging and lust as I stared at Yunho, confused by his words and actions, “If you would have just killed me, I would be out of your hair right now. Admit it, Y/N, you wanted someone to play with and that’s why you walked away in the end.”

“I did not want anything to do with the man that tried to kill my sister—” My words died in my throat when I was suddenly flipped over, my back hitting the cold ground. I froze as Yunho now kneeled between my legs, his hands trailing up my thighs as I frowned at him. This wasn’t like the Yunho I knew, he’d be threatening me and trying to kill me by now. What was his plan?

“And yet here you are, with him between your legs and his fangs sunken deep into your neck.” He smirked as he lowered himself, biting my jaw mockingly as I tried to slap his head away, but his fingers intertwined with mine, hands immobilised on both sides of my head.

“Yunho—” My warning fell on deaf ears as his teeth sunk into my neck, a moan falling past my lips as the initial pain didn’t even come this time, just soaring hotness that travelled through every limb, alighting the dormant fire underneath my skin. My head fell back as my fingers tightened against Yunho’s, his heavier body pressing mine firmly down into the ground. He grunted as he took more blood, his hips grinding down almost teasingly as my eyebrows furrowed, stomach clenching in yearning, “I thought you didn’t feed from living people.”

Yunho chuckled as he pulled back, licking my neck and kissing up to my ear, where he nibbled on my lobe, “You are not alive, though, and I think I found a new way to feed. Aren’t you just so pliant, Y/N?”

My jaw clenched and I turned my head swiftly, aiming to headbutt him, but he was faster. Yunho laughed, thrusting once as my thighs tightened around his hips, my eyes bleeding into his with anger, “You don’t seem to hate it as much as you make it seem.”

“Get off, Yunho!” I snapped, ripping my hands out of his as he slightly leaned back, tilting his head in amusement, “What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”

He grinned and braced his weight on his hands, but he didn’t sit back. I glared at him, but he didn’t seem to care as he pretended to think, “You said I have a price, and you’re right. Your little sister is well and alive once again, how about we make a little deal?”

That sounded horrible, “What deal?”

He leaned down to press a chaste kiss to my lips, and I should’ve been embarrassed that I chased after his lips when he pulled back. Yunho was amused by it, one hand coming to cradle my cheek as he hummed, “I saved your little sister, you help me find someone…”

“You saved her?” My laugh was humourless, “After you killed her, right…”

“Song Mingi.” Yunho snapped suddenly, his features darkening. So, he was done playing around, huh?

“What about him?”

“You said I have a price, and that it comes with him, well you were right. That Seungwan girl…she seems to know him.” Right, Seungwan could find anyone in a matter of hours, “Yeri is alive, so help me find him.”

“Why?” I raised an eyebrow, tilting my head, “Who’s he to you?”

Yunho looked reluctant to speak, but he gave in when I raised both eyebrows, “Someone whose life I ruined a long time ago. I was foolish and I went back to my coven thinking they’d help me, instead, they locked me up and started experimenting with my blood when they realised I was half human. Mingi…he’s a victim of that experiment, he’s…he’s like me just more…violent.”

Understanding washed over me as Yunho’s eyes lowered, “You created him, didn’t you?”

He looked at me without answering, and I just knew, “You love him.”

Yunho’s jaw clenched and I scoffed, something like regret, anger, and disgust swirling in my stomach, “You want me to find your lover for you after you killed mine?”

“You can do whatever you want with me once I know Mingi is well and alive, just help me out this once.” He didn’t look into my eyes, but he looked so small as he lowered his head. I scoffed, wanting to refuse him, to rip his head off, but I couldn’t. The pain, the uncertainty and the yearning of not knowing what happened to your lover hit me like a truck, and I felt pity for Yunho because I knew what that felt like.

“Once you find Mingi, you’ll never cross my path, do you understand?” My eyes were hard and my voice cold as he looked at me, face impassive, “And if I see either one of you, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

“Deal.” Yunho didn’t even miss a beat as he sat back, extending one hand.

“Make it a blood promise,” I smirked as Yunho’s jaw clenched, but he bit into his palm and so did I, our blood smearing together once we shook hands.

“I’ll leave your coven alone, then, but if I see you or Yeri, you’ll be dead.” I chuckled and nodded, sitting up as Yunho got off me, surprisingly even helping me up. He remained gripping my arm as he pulled me close into himself, his eyes soft for the first time I’ve known him.

“Thank you.” He whispered, his eyes fluttering closed as he leaned down, our lips meeting in a soft kiss. I gripped his nape and pushed up on my tiptoes, our lips locking together as Yunho hummed, pressing more kisses against my lips as we pulled apart.

“Thank you too, although I’ll never forgive you.” Yunho smiled, stepping back.

“That’s alright, I’ll never forgive you either.” I nodded, watching him step into the sun, making me wonder how one man could be as beautiful as Yunho. Before he departed, however, he seemed to linger for a second, his eyebrows furrowed.

“There was a belief in my coven…that a soul that is suddenly ripped away from this realm will wander back to claim what’s theirs.” I didn’t understand what he meant by that, but before I could question it, he continued, “How long has it been since I killed Seonghwa?”

I froze, breath stuttering in my throat, “Are you saying—”

“He’s around, you just have to find him.” A small smile settled over Yunho’s lips as I felt tears brimming my eyes, hands shaking. He turned his back to me with a chuckle, waving his fingers as he took off, walking further into the trees.

“I’ll stop by to get my refill later this week!” Yunho’s voice called as I listened to his even heartbeat, feeling weak all of a sudden as I had to lean against a tree for support. I had Yeri back, and now all I had to do was find Seonghwa once again. A shuddered breath left my lips as I smiled, flipping Yunho off before I started walking back to the mansion, keeping to the shade since I was already feeling lightheaded.

Maybe keeping him alive was the best decision I could’ve made, after all.

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[duskbornraven]

Midnight Oil

When I die send me to The Pitt, but only on night shift. Wrapping up some wips I've been sitting on for way too long.

Paring: John Shen x f!Reader

Warnings: mostly fluff, minor injury to reader, general work crush embarrassment, no use of y/n, female reader, not beta read

Summary: You get hurt trying to check out the local hot doctor who visits your coffee shop. He winds up checking you out as well.

Word Count: 3k

You never minded working Thursdays at the coffee shop, especially on nice summer nights like tonight was shaping up to be. You could manage to actually work the floor most of the night compared to the weekends, which is why you had even agreed to come on as shift manager. And for a manager role there  wasn’t really much to it outside of helping with schedules and being the authority figure. 

At least on the night shifts, you had heard some crazy stories from the opening shift. Granted open was at noon and compared to the hundreds of other shops in the city it was a very late start to the day. Though that was the entire point, the shop was open from noon to seven in the morning. It was meant to be specifically for the night shift. Those who found comfort in the way the city moved in the shadows. Or the more common occurrence of the overtaxed college students and unfortunates who got saddled with the night shift until something opened on days.  

You honestly would have probably burnt out at any other customer service job. This place had its perks. Being able to leave the door open to bring in the warm breeze was certainly one of them. The gentle rumble of traffic and the occasional shout echoing down the road was excellent background noise when the place was empty. 

One of the nicer perks was the owner tending to hang around for the first few hours of your shift, meaning you could get most of the way caught up in the office. Angel generally would linger in the doorway to the office while you got yourself set up at the computer, telling you about first shift drama or what was new with her and the family. 

It very much helped that your boss was phenomenal at making coffee and would always have something new for the shifts to try throughout the week. And the free coffee, good or not, was really one of the main reasons you kept coming back. 

“And I am sick of him calling in at the last minute, I think we need a new day shift lead.” Angel was explaining while you updated availability for one of the new hires starting next week. 

“You’ve been saying that since before I started. He’s your brother, fire him if you want.” You didn’t look up from the computer, focused on not getting the rows mixed up while comparing the paper form in front of you. 

“Yeah but you know-” She trailed off and started out of the office “Hey John, you’re almost never on Thursdays.” She had turned her attention to whatever regular had walked through the open doors. 

“Normally, but I swapped shifts so he can have my day off next weekend.” You froze the second he started talking. You would be mortified if anyone called you on it, but recently the biggest perk was getting to see this specific regular. Doctor John Shen. The man was the ideal customer, always knew what he wanted, never complained about the lines. He was all some of the girls on the night shift would talk about initially.  

You hadn’t thought anything of him at first admittedly, he was handsome and left a decent tip most of the time. But the more he came in the more you caught yourself noticing him, how he carried himself, memorizing his drink order and schedule without really meaning to. He was laid back, to put it mildly but not in the overly confident sense. It was like the man was just good at carrying weight on his shoulders and not letting it drag him down. 

You pushed the rolling chair back to better look at him through the door. Which, to your absolute mortification, managed to crash backwards into the hard wood of the back office floor head first. Instantly a sharp throbbing pain shot through the back of your head, the sharp stab of heat that usually accompanied pain close behind. 

“Jesus, you alright?” The sound of fast approaching footsteps broke past the ringing in your ears. 

You managed a groan and tried to force yourself upright, blinking tears out of your eyes. Only to have a pair of hands stop you. “Woah,stay still for a second alright?” 

Your vision clearing slightly your eyes focused on your boss kneeling beside you and keeping you still beneath him was John. His eyes flicked between each of your pupils. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m okay” The back of your head was throbbing still, the occasional sharp sting adding to the aching pain. You went to sit up again and once again were held back by a firm hand on your shoulder. “I’m fine, really.” 

When he didn’t let go right away you pushed his hand from your shoulder. “It’s Thursday night, I’m at work, I just fell out of the chair.” Sitting up did very little to ease the pain at the base of your skull, a now persistent sting accompanying the warmth. 

“No nausea?” John adjusted to sit back in front of you on the floor,his eyes still searching yours carefully.  

“Not as far as I can tell.” You were also mentally checking off what little you knew about head injuries. Which admittedly wasn't much more than had already been checked off the list. “I’ll ice it and keep an eye on it to make sure. 

“Let me at least check you out in better lighting.” He held out a hand to help you to your feet. “Make sure you’re okay before I get into work.” 

You let him pull you off the floor, a little too aware that despite the injury this was the closest you had ever been to him. Usually there was at least a foot of counter between the pair of you. But now following him out to the floor you felt more aware. There were no machines for you to hide behind out here. Luckily for you the odds of making more of an idiot out of yourself were almost impossible. 

The shop was, thankfully still empty, or you would have insisted that you went back into the closer, darker space of the office. Out here it felt less like some secret thing. You sat yourself at a table, the ach in your head already slowly subsiding. 

“Yell at me if this hurts too much.” A familiar voice from behind you, the sound of latex stretching followed. 

“Good thing you came prepared.” You hissed lightly as his hand brushed over where you must have landed. 

“I honestly don’t know how many gloves I’ve taken home. Mostly by accident.” His touch was light as it brushed hair out of the way to get a better look. “But I don’t think I needed this one, you’re not bleeding at least.” 

He dropped heavily into the chair across from you, as casual as always. “You’re lucky. Could have been a lot worse and I would have made you come visit me to work.” You couldn’t pretend your cheeks didn’t burn a little at that. “You should be good, get some ice on it, take it easy and if you feel worse go get checked out.” 

Angel joined you at the table, sliding a coffee over to him. “For the help” She offered  with a smile. 

“Well how can I turn that down.” John accepted the drink, taking a slow sip from the mouth of the cup and checking the display on his watch. “I do have to run actually. I’ll never hear the end of it if I’m late to cover.” 

He was halfway out the door when he turned back to look you in the eye once more. “I mean it about seeing a doctor if that gets worse. I don't want to come back to find out that something happened to you.” With that he was out the door and down the street. 

You watched him go, the usual excitement that followed his visits was there as alway, but something more also bubbled under the surface. Last week you had hardly said a word to him when he came through for his usual. And today he had taken care of you, gone out of his way to double check. You knew there was some level of responsibility for helping even off the clock. It was still nice to know that he cared enough to take care of you, and didn’t give you a hard time for it. 

It was hard to deny that seeing the doctor in him come out, the softer demeanor, the sole focus on you. It was sweet, and incredibly attractive. You hadn’t realized that you had been lost in thought until a voice behind you snapped out of it. 

“Are you okay? I can hang around for a little longer.” You winced away as something cool was pressed to the back of your head.

“I’ll be okay once some back up shows, you don’t have to stay late for me.” You took the makeshift ice pack and held it to the back of your head. She was still watching you like you might break on her. “I swear I will call you if I need to leave early. And besides I already saw a doctor technically. I’m as close to medically cleared as I’m going to get tonight.” 

That got the world weary sigh from her that you had come to expect. Along with the familiar smile. “Just try not to let the shift get any worse, I don’t know if I can handle any more stress in one day.” 

You spent the rest of the hour finishing your paperwork in the office. Occasionally venturing out to get a drink or refresh your ice. Often shooing your worried friend away to actually work when there were customers in the shop. 

Once the rest of the night shift began to filter in you transitioned to working the floor. The pain was mostly gone by now only the dull ache and the shame lingered. You had fallen on your ass and made someone else late to work, probably. All because you wanted to look a little cooler when you were checking him out for once. 

Not to mention that now your co-workers were stuck doing most if not all of the heavy lifting the rest of the shift since they instituted that you took it easy. You had hit your head, it wasn’t like they found you lying unconscious in the walk-in but they had been bullied into making you take it easy. It was hard to refuse Angel even if you ignored that fact that she owned the place. 

Your night was turning into a painful, embarrassing slog as you had to explain over and over to the overnight team as they trickled in that you had fallen on your ass. That you would be fine because with your stupid luck a doctor had happened to be on standby. 

Unfortunately, most of your team knew you well enough to start putting the pieces together of what that meant. Which made for far too many jokes about you getting hurt just to get the doctor to check you out for a change. By the time you were finally making your final rounds it felt like you had been there for an eternity, a special shift from the depths of embarrassment hell. 

John however had spent the first hour so half expecting you to come wandering into the ER. And yes, that may be the doctor brain rushing to the worst case scenario. But it also wasn’t impossible. When you didn’t show up though it was easier to let himself slip into the flow of work, focusing on actual patients. 

It wasn’t until after his first full rotation of the unit he was actually able to stop and clock that hours had passed and the pretty barista hadn't come through the doors. He took the minute he had to catch up on his charting, before the next crisis knocked him off his feet anyways. 

“You better be careful coming in the next few weeks.” He slid up to Ellis at the computer, catching her eye over the monitor. 

“Why would you say that?” She sighed, head falling back in exasperation. “Are you trying to spread your weird back luck curse to me?” 

“I’m just saying, I had that barista take a fall at my coffee place and Abbot’s whole car accident thing a while ago. You better be careful.” He shrugged. “Night shift has some weird luck going around.” 

“And now you’ve said it to me so for sure something’s going to happen.” She sighed, pushing away from the computer. “Do yourself a favor and quit talking about it before you put the poor girl in the ER tonight.” 

To his credit, he kept his mouth shut about it. It did help that it was a nightmarish night all around. He didn’t even really have the time to think about you let alone bring up his pre-shift heroics again. 

But as the day shift trickled in you crept back into his head. It wasn’t lost on him that you could have gone anywhere else in the city to get checkout if you had gotten worse. Something that didn’t sit right with him at all. 

Over the next few days he swung by the shop, even if he was technically off. If you were in he could at least follow up and make sure that you were okay. And if you weren’t? He would at least get the coffee and he could come back the next night. 

He probably could have called ahead and asked, he was well aware he was enough of a regular that the owner knew his drink order. But that was hardly on him, the shop was on the way to work and made some of the best coffee he had been able to get his hands on. 

So here he was making his regular coffee runs, just a little more frequently. And for his peace of mind it was worth it. Besides, whether he was willing to admit it to himself or not, the coffee wasn’t really the only reason he liked visiting the shop. Maybe he had been swinging by specifically on nights you usually worked for a while. 

Maybe he had just so happened to notice that you always made sure to make his order for him. He had been hoping for a better excuse to actually have a conversation with you. Offer to hang out when both of you could get off, which shouldn’t be difficult to plan considering your shifts usually lined up. 

It was a few nights after your encounter and the front door opened letting the scent of fresh summer rain in with it. Along with a very rain soaked John. Still as relaxed as ever, seemingly unbothered by the sudden chill of the air conditioning. 

He wasn’t dressed for a shift this time around, which wasn’t totally out of the usual. It wasn’t like your shop was in an inconvenient location. But the way the rest of the shift vanished on you was in fact out of the usual. Leaving you alone on the floor to take his order. Which was something you were sure you could recite in your sleep by now. 

“Yo, there’s my favorite barista. Glad you didn’t wind up coming to visit me at work.” He leaned in, arms folded on the counter. “Though I am apparently cursed so I didn’t put that out there.” He shot you a knowing smile, like you were already in on the joke. 

“Cursed?” You stepped closer to the machines to get his drink at least started. Ignoring the rush that came with being his favorite. Not that it really meant anything, he just happened to see you more than the others. One of those perks that came with management. 

“So I’m told, if you believe in that superstitious shit.” He followed you around to the machine as he spoke, warm eyes catching yours whenever possible as you worked. “Though I don’t know if I’ve actually seen proof of it yet.” 

“Well thank you for not spreading that to me I guess.” You laughed, steam blocking your vision for a moment. “That’s another thing I owe you for.” 

He scoffed, shaking his head slightly. “Literally just my job, doesn’t hurt to help.”His hands were in his pockets while he watched you work. “Though I have been known to work for coffee, every once in a while” His head tilted as he spoke, that smile widening. 

“Well luckily for you, I am something of an expert when it comes to coffee.” You offered him the cup, as usual relishing the tiny moment of contact when your fingers brushed over each other. He is free and sliding a torn and folded piece of paper across the counter to you. 

“I’m not doubting that.” His tone didn’t change but you felt the way his gaze shifted, refocusing on the paper between you. Once the paper slipped into your hand he added, “A little old school I know. I figured we could broaden your horizons a bit. Maybe get you some expertise in some of these local restaurants? We could go and grab dinner one of these nights.” 

The scrap of paper in your hand suddenly felt a little heavier, a little more alive in your hands. Unfolding it revealed John printed in classic, half legible doctor handwriting. Below that his phone number, perfectly legible. “I think it would be good to explore.” 

He would have had to be blind to miss the way you hardly fought back your smile, the way your hands shook just a little. From nerves or excitement it was hard to say, maybe a little of both. It almost didn’t feel real. Like it was all some fever dream and you really had hit your head much harder than you thought. You would wake up any second on the office floor, back at square one. 

Instead you watched the smallest hint of tension drain from his shoulders. “Good, I might already have a place or two lined up. Just in case.” Another easy shrug, his hand returned to his pocket. “Just text me when you have some time off. We’ll make it work.” 

“I’ll get back to you before the shift is over.” Happy with your answer he backed away from the counter, drink in hand and headed for the door. He had turned around and went to push out the door before he glanced back over his shoulder. “Oh and be careful the rest of the night, would hate to have to have you show up at work before I see you again.” With that slightly ominous warning he dipped back into the rain and vanished into the night. 

[moniquill]

So there's a post going around that I'm not going to engage with because my point is entirely different than what the discussion is covering there...

It's this thread: https://www.tumblr.com/galileosballs/783607164314976256/some-of-the-responses-to-this-have-been-in

(I will not be weighing in on that thread)

Here's the thing about schooling and Kids These Days from the elementary to the college level using generative AI (which is Bad for many reasons; I am not defending it):

School (for the purposes of this discussion, public school in the US because that's the only kind of schooling I personally have extensive experience with) is not designed to promote learning.

Lamentations about the ethics of the students who do this, about how this is devaluating education, about how it's frightening that future doctors etc are cheesing their way through medical school with AI all have their eyes on a particular symptom of a much, much bigger and deeper problem. That problem is ULTIMATELY capitalism, but on the way there it's about pedagogy.

I, from the perspective of not having been beholden to school for many years, can confidently say that I did not learn a single fucking thing in school between fourth grade (age 9; I learned how to do long division) and college (age 18, learned a lot of different things, absolutely none of them particularly relevant to any paid work I've ever had). School was a six to eight hour time sink (plus however long homework took) in my day that actively got in the way of me learning things WHILE piling a bunch of stress and trauma onto me that I had to spend years recovering from.

School, in the US, is designed from the ground up to train children into compliant workers. It's about showing up on time, being willing to follow arbitrary and often unfair rules, doing as one is told by figures of authority, and giving the desired answers to direct questions (while asking as few clarifying questions as possible). Curiosity and creativity are actively punished by public school.

"Does saying things that are true and that you know are true only matter when someone is giving you a little prize for it?" Literally yes, that his how the system is built. Under capitalism, there is no motivation to say true things that are true that you know are true. It is likely, in fact, to get you punished! If you want to change that behavior, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM THAT PRODUCES IT.

This quote, in particular, seems to miss the point hugely:

"Some of the responses to this have been, in essence, "well, it's not our fault for being raised in a bad educational system that prioritizes grades over comprehension". And you're right, it's not your fault.

But you freely admit the system is bad. That it values the wrong things.

So why do you limit yourself to only achieving what it values? Do you not aspire to be better than a system you know is wrong? Don't you want to change the world?" with a post script of "the system is bad and that fact absolves me of moral responsibility to be a good person” is CEO rhetoric frankly"

It should be noted that absolutely no one in the thread has espoused a belief that 'hat fact absolves me of moral responsibility' - they are all talking about ways that the system is rotten from the ground up and needs to be dismantled and rebuilt. Many, many people reblogging the chain are ascribing malice/excuse-making to people who are merely correctly identifying the problem. Explanations are not excuses; sorry that someone taught you that at some point.

No one in that thread has said "I use AI, and think that it's a good and laudable thing to do!" - that is not a position that anyone seems to be holding.

There are a lot of people in that thread who are indignant that anyone is going to college who isn't deeply invested in learning, as if that's the goal that sends people to academia.

We do not live in a world that rewards learning. We live in a world that awards the possession of credentials.

We do not live in a world where people pursue careers because they are inherently important and meaningful to them - they pursue them because they want to survive under capitalism. Most people are not going into healthcare, for example, because they genuinely want to help heal people who are sick or injured; they're doing it because it's a stable career that generated a livable income. I say this as a person who works in healthcare and deals with others working in the field.

"If you're using AI to get through your education you've not fucking earned your qualifications. That AI did."

No one has ever 'earned their qualifications' re: possession of a college degree. They have merely shown a capacity and willingness to jump through the required hoops.

Do you think that you can shame people into not using shortcuts?

I want readers to look at this thread:

which has a much more coherent idea of what the problem is and what can be done about it. I want readers to look into pedagogy; check out these old-ass videos:

And just... just go watch every Ted Talk by Sugata Mitra.

I think we as a society need to be far more honest in what the goals we have are and how they're best achieved. Most of the jobs that people end up spending their lives doing should not be asking for college degrees. Most people do not want or need to go to college. Most people in college, in school at all, are there under duress and the threat of destitution.

I really want people to reblog and reply to this with thier own thoughts - I know that's no longer vogue on tumblr, but I am trying really hard to bring it back. No, the replies will NOT be opened. Fucking reblog it.

[whoredyceps]

"OH LOVER BOY!" || 28 Days of Love: A Valentine's Challenge + Series

day twenty-six: possessive

ᰔ pairing: joel miller x reader

ᰔ summary: you and joel spend a friday night at the bar, which ends up with bloody hands and a hospital visit.

ᰔ author's note: a change of plot in the ninth hour thanks to that one picture. it's past 10pm and i'm writing like a madman. send help please god. inspired by this picture ✋😮‍💨

ᰔ content warning: no outbreak but canon typical violence, irritable joel, bar setting, alcohol consumption, creepy bar patrons, reader gets hit on, blood, hospitals, doctors, strong language

"Are you sure you want to go in? We can head back home and watch a movie," you offered. "Let's go out another night."

Joel shook his head, his hand extended out to cut the engine of the truck. He wanted to give in to your offer— turn right around and drive straight back home. Dread had filled him the minute he sat in the truck.

At the beginning of the week, you had asked to go out to the bar on Friday. Some of your friends were supposed to be getting together for drinks and pool. You agreed, and they urged you to bring the guy you had been seeing. When you brought it up to Joel, he surprised you with a nod and a 'sure, it'd be nice to get out'.

"We'll have a good time. Figure it'll be good to let your friends see I'm not just some cranky bastard," Joel huffed out a laugh. He had an amused smile on his lips as he climbed out of the car.

"Oh, I don't think you'll be less cranky," you chuckled. "That's okay. They know I like them bitchy." You put a hand on his chest and kissed him once he was close enough. Joel rolled his eyes; you swore they'd fall out of his skull with how often he did it.

"Bitchy? That's a new one." Joel opened the door for you as the two of you approached. You glanced over your shoulder.

"No it ain't. No one's bold enough to say it to your face," you chuckled.

Like most dive bars, the place was packed for a Friday night. The crowd ranged from long time regulars that regaled with each other to college kids that were too proud of their fake ids that no one really cared about.

You scanned the crowd to find your friends, who were tucked in the back. They were all gathered around a pool table and on what seemed to be the second round of drinks. You slipped your hand into Joel's and led him through the crowd. Before you got too far, he planted his feet. You turned, a look of confusion written on your face.

"I'll get us some drinks," Joel offered. You nodded and thanked him with a kiss. His hand slipped out of yours— he already knew your drink of choice. The two of you hadn't been together more than a few months, but he paid enough attention.

You joined your friends and gave the round of hugs and greetings.

"No 'Joel' tonight?" One of your friends teased as they elbowed your side. You shook your head and crossed your arms.

"Nope, but I did pick up that hot guy at the bar on the way in," you teased back. Every set of eyes turned to the bar to analyze the man in the flannel, his back turned to you.

"Bitch, that's fucking Joel. You posted a story with him in that same shirt a week ago," another friend chided. You cackled as she punched your arm. Your other friends waved you off or flipped the bird.

None of your friends had met Joel yet, but they had seen and heard more than enough about him. They knew he wasn't very social so as soon as you said he would come along, there was a buzz of excitement.

"He offered to grab us some drinks. What was I gonna do, say no?" You watched as two of your friends argued over the rules of pool. They fought like this every time, so you tuned them out.

Joel returned with two drinks in hand, a beer and one of your old faithfuls. He slipped a hand onto the small of your back. Your shirt shifted and you felt the press of his fingertips against your skin. A small shiver came over you.

"Guys, this is Joel. Joel, these are my friends." You went through the group and introduced everyone by name. Joel, ever the southern gentleman, shook everyone's hand and gave a polite hello.

You stuck close to Joel as the two of you settled into the group. He fit in easily as he jested with your friends. He even offered to play a round of pool with one of the guys— totally unprompted!

As you watched him and chatted with a friend, you noticed how quickly your drink had disappeared. With a small pout, you held your glass up.

"I'm going to get another drink! Be right back," you yelled over the loud background noise. He gave a nod, and you slipped him to head for the bar.

Since you had arrived, the bar had only grown more rowdy. It seemed the football team from the local college had finished their practice and wanted to party. You couldn't blame them, considering the drinks were cheap and it wasn't a far drive from the stadium. Still, you had to practically elbow your way to the bar.

As you waited for the bartender to finish with their current task, you felt a presence beside you. That, and you could practically smell them from where you stood. God, college boys smelled just as bad axe-laden middle schoolers.

"You all by yourself?" You almost didn't believe the boy was talking to you. If not for him pressing closer to you, you would have ignored him all together.

"No," you replied. "I'm here to grab a drink for myself and my boyfriend." You tried to move away, only to end up squished between an older woman and the man with no clear sense of personal space.

"I don't see him," he chided with a smirk. "Isn't that what they all say? I've got a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a partner— yet no one by their side."

You whirled around with a raised eyebrow.

"You do know that I don't have to stand near him all night, correct? Just because we're not next to each other doesn't mean I don't have a boyfriend," you returned. The boy rolled his eyes and leaned on the bar.

"Baby—"

Your skin crawled at the name. Nothing angered you more than some shitty pet name from some random guy who didn't know you. The only person who deserved to call you baby was across the bar and in the middle of a pool game.

"I'm not your baby. Don't call me that," you snapped. "Can I just get my drink in peace? I'm not going to be polite next time." You turned your shoulder, your back to him as you waved down the bartender. She was on her way to you when a hand landed on your waist. It made your skin crawl as you launched yourself away from the bar.

"What, baby? You a fuckin' prude or something? Savin' yourself for your little imaginary boyfriend?" The tone in his voice had you seeing red. Your fists balled up and your expression twisted into one of rage.

"Is this how you pick people up at the bar? How's being an idiot working out for you?" You had to take a deep breath before you went in swinging. It had not been the first time you had been in a bar fight, and it seemed old habits died hard.

"Worked every time before. C'mere, baby, I'll buy you—"

You watched the scene play out in slow motion. One minute, the idiot's hand stretched out to grab for your hand. In a blink, a big, calloused hand grab his wrist and yanked him away from the bar.

Joel looked enraged. You had seen him angry plenty of times, but this was different. His lips were downturned, but the look in his eyes scared you. Not for yourself— god, even the idea seemed ridiculous to you— but for the dumbass.

"Choose your next words carefully. Say baby one more time, pretty boy." Joel's tone sent a shiver down your spine. It was almost like he was begging the boy to do something dumb.

"Get the fuck off of me, old man. Like you have a better chance with the bitch."

Oh.

Yeah, this boy was gonna die. Time stood still as you watched the football player try to deck Joel with his only free hand. In one swift move, he yanked the boy's arm forward and threw him onto the ground. He managed to land a punch that sent a crack so loud that the bar fell into a hush.

The boy yelped and tried to swing back, but Joel was quicker. He had at least fifty pounds and half a foot on him. That, and a load of unbridled rage. He didn't take kindly to harassment, but to insult you in the process? Call you a bitch?

You stood, your mouth open in pure shock. Truth be told, you were glued to your spot. Two men managed to pull Joel off, while a few other bystanders tried to stop the boy's scrawny friends from getting the same ass-whooping.

Finally, as if your brain seemed to come back to Earth, you blinked and lurched towards Joel. You blatantly stepped over the boy to get to your boyfriend. His hands were bloody and his expression was soured.

"Hey, hey— Joel, baby, take a deep breath," you muttered. The two men who held him back lead him towards the exit, and you followed. One of the guys opened the door, and you took his spot as you guided him outside. You thanked the men as you managed to unlock the truck bed. Joel sat with a heavy sigh and murmured a thanks under his breath.

"Can I see your hands?" Your voice was soft. The air was cool and loud with the sound of the frogs all around. Joel was silent as he let you hold his hands. He sucked in a sharp breath when you fiddled with a few fingers.

"This looks broken," you frowned. "We need to get you to the hospital." You didn't care that Joel's hand was full of blood, or that his hackles were still raised. If you weren't so concerned, you'd be in shock still.

"It can wait until tomorrow," Joel gruffed. He never meant for it to happen, him beating the living daylights out of the idiot, but he'd be damned if he'd let someone talk about you like that. If anything, the kid's lucky enough walking away alive and talking.

"Please," you asked. "What if it's something serious?" If something bad happened to Joel, especially after he got hurt defending you, you'd be beside yourself.

By some miracle, or maybe the worry written all over your face, Joel conceded with a nod. He got off the edge of the truck bed and began for the driver's seat.

"Oh, absolutely not. I'm driving. Go." You weren't going to take no for an answer. Joel gave you the keys before he climbed into the passenger seat.

The ride to the hospital was short and silent. It wasn't uncomfortable, but you weren't sure what to say. How did you thank your boyfriend for beating some guy's ass? It was more than some verbal acknowledgment— did you buy him dinner? Suck his dick? All of the above?

You helped with the check-in process once at the hospital. As the two of you waited to be called to the back, you laid your head on Joel's shoulder.

"Thank you for defending me. I don't know what that guy's problem was." You felt Joel's jaw rest against your head. He reached over to hold your arm with his uninjured hand.

"Dumbass was too big for his britches. I only caught the tail end, but I figured it out real quick when I saw your face. If I hadn't'a swung first, it woulda been you." Joel knew that, no questions asked. If someone was going to get charges pressed, he'd rather it be himself than you.

"Shit, you're right. Though my uppercut wouldn't have done much, at least compared to your hit. I mean goddamn," you chucked under your breath. "You damn near knocked him into next Tuesday."

"Still wouldn't have been enough if I had. Who calls someone a bitch like that? Fuckin' vile, that piece'a shit," Joel grumbled under his breath.

Once he was called to the back, they made quick work on setting his hand in place. Joel bit back a groan as they popped his fingers into the right place and put a brace on his hand. He was sent off with a prescription for painkillers and an order for no heavy lifting. That hurt him more than anything else.

"Shoulda just put me down instead," Joel grumbled as he followed you out of the emergency room. You held good arm as you guided him to the truck.

"It won't be that bad. Maybe you'll actually get some rest," you lightly teased. Joel attempted to chuckle, but it just came out as an amused huff. He didn't even try to go for the driver's side. Not like he'd be able to drive for another week, at least.

"Don't go for miracles," Joel warned. You rolled your eyes, a small smile on your face.

"Eh, I'll take my chances."

Despite the unfortunate circumstances, Joel actually did rest. You thanked him with words, dinner, and a few orgasms to show how truly thankful you really were. No one had stuck up for you like that, and to have someone defend you like that...

Joel deserved more than you could ever give, but you'd try your damnedest for him.

[bbtsficrecs]

BTS FIC RECS PART 4 Part 4 of some of my favourite BTS fanfics. Please do consider liking, reblogging and/or commenting on the fics you like. There are so many wonderful and amazing authors out there who do not get the recognition they deserve. So please send them lots of love to keep them going. If you're on here, then know I enjoyed every second of reading your story ♡ There will be two parts 4 as it's (sadly?) too long to be saved under one post. Stay tuned for part 5, joon recs will be added!

Please let me know if some of the links aren’t working. Happy reading!

⊹ Navi ‣ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 4.1 | Part 5 |

​⊹ Hell Is Empty - drabble Love triangle AU | a | @aquagustd​ ‣ An important phone call between Yoongi & OC.

⊹ You’re The Best I’ve Ever Had  Boyfriend Jungkook, Chubby reader | a, f, s | @adoredcore​​ ‣ Jungkook’s touches were so soft. So soft you almost barely even felt them. Keyword: almost. His smooth fingertips ran along your silky skin, while the tip of his pink tongue ran across the nape of your neck.

⊹ Fool Me Once Fuckboy AU | a, s | @jeonqkooks​​​ ‣ You never expect anything from Jungkook, but somehow he always manages to let you down.

⊹ Attitude CEO Jungkook au | s | @lushtans​​​ ‣ Your relationship with your CEO is... Rather complicated. Aside your professional relationship, he fucks you whenever he feels like it and as much as you hate to admit the truth, you love it. 

⊹ Don't Worry, Be Happy Daddy Jungkook AU, | f | @jvngkook97 ‣ "You guys have been trying to conceive for a little over a year now, but have yet to be fully successful."

⊹ Trap Idol Jungkook AU, | f | @jiminpitys ‣ In which you show up at your boyfriend's concert soundcheck as a surprise, and to your own, he’s wearing an outfit that’s bound to make you feel a certain way.

⊹ Addicted College AU, | f , s | @sparklingchim ‣ Your boyfie Jungkook fucking you silly.

⊹ B i g o l e f r e a k Friends with benefits AU | f , s | @joonberriess ‣ You’re both exclusive only to each other. Jungkook fucks the way he acts—crazy, hard. too bad you’re only here for the ride..

⊹ Foundation - Part 01, 02, 03 feat Yoongi Non-idol doctors AU | f , s, a | @hamsterclaw ‣ You know Jungkook is a fuckboy. So why are you letting him fuck with you? Featuring Yoongi.

⊹ Paint me naked Artist Jungkook AU | f , s, a | @gimmethatagustd ‣ After the mysteriously hot guy in your university class starts taking an interest in you, should you really trust that he’s not like all the other college fuckboys? Especially when his best friend is the guy who broke your heart?  

⊹ Why are you so late? Idol Jungkook AU | f , s | @kimnjss

‣ With such a packed scheduled, you’d think Jungkook would be on top of his game. But when a morning rolling around the sheets with you is thrown into the mix, it’s expected for him to want to take his time.

⊹ Our beloved summer - Series (on-going) Producer Jungkook AU | f, s, a | @jeonqkooks ‣ You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

⊹ Heaven can wait Chubby reader AU | f, s ish | @adoredcore ‣ "What’s a chance I’ll take baby I’ll stay heaven can wait."

⊹ Midnight cravings Established relationship AU | f | @hobiholic ‣ You want to go to the convenience store late at night to fulfill your midnight cravings but a sleepy Jungkook stops you.

⊹ Wet dreams Somnophilia AU | s | @kookiecrumb ‣ “I want you to use me…whenever you need me,”

⊹ Look at you -  Risqué drabble Risqué couple AU | s, f | @mercurygguk ‣ Mirror shopping with your boyfriend turns into something else entirely.

⊹ In the middle of the night Friends with benefits AU | s, f | @joonsmoonluna ‣ It’s the middle of the night and Jungkook’s in need of you

⊹ Like I'm famous Idol Jungkook AU | s, f | @softyoongiionly ‣ It’s New Years Eve and Jungkook would rather be anywhere else than at his company’s massive party. Sure, he’s a guest of honor and his team rented out the nicest hotel in Seoul, but ringing in the New Year with you on the other side of the world just feels wrong. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to celebrate without the woman he loves, but maybe- just maybe…he won’t have to…

⊹ Strangers to lovers Established relationship AU | s | @kissmetae ‣ You’re a regular at the gym and today you decided to workout late. You thought you were alone, but it turned out there was one other person at the gym and you so happened to be his gym crush…

⊹ My dear friends Friends to lovers AU | s, f, a | @kooktrash ‣ Just friends? Keep telling yourself that, you and Jungkook have always danced on the line of friendship and something more but lately you’ve struggled being able to tell where you guys stand.

⊹ Red - Part 03 Pregnancy AU | s, f, a | @taestefully-in-luv ‣ You drunkenly sleep with your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Can’t be that bad right? Unless he gets you pregnant.

⊹ As we were - Series (on-going) Cheating/Infidelity AU | s, a | @archivedkookie ‣ Your husband cheats on you and find comfort in someone else’s arms. He claims he’s happy—but is he really?

⊹ Imagine Model Jungkook AU | s, f | @chryblossomjjk ‣ Jungkook wants nothing more than to spend your anniversary cuddled up in a fancy hotel bathroom, eating takeout and binge watching TV shows. You, on the other hand, have something more exciting in mind. 

⊹ Practice - part 02, 03 Fuckboy Jungkook AU | s, a | @chryblossomjjk ‣ You usually spend Friday nights on your own. Tonight, however, your friend and campus fuckboy, Jungkook, decides to pay you a visit.

⊹ Lost Cause Cheating AU | a | @kooksbunnnn ‣ Jungkook comes back to you after his 10 day trip to Busan, and you sense something different about him. 

⊹ The Boy With Galaxies In His Eyes Idol AU | a, s, f | @oddinary4bts ‣ You had never thought the night sky could be found in someone’s eyes. That is, until you met Jeon Jungkook and his gravity pulled you in. Will he crush you with the galaxies in his eyes, or will you learn to explore his worlds and make them yours?

⊹ Beyond Infinity - As We Were drabble As We Were Couple AU | a, s, f | @archivedkookie ‣ Jungkook does something you always dreamt about, and it ends up with the most beautiful night of your life.

⊹ What If I Love You Too Much Single Mom AU | a, s, f | @taleasnewastime ‣ Jungkook. It’s only a name you learn after your son kicks his ball over the fence. Before that you only knew him as the hot new neighbour who mows his lawn topless. And though you have no intention of getting to know him anymore than that, inevitably you do. You don’t necessarily fall, it’s too slow for that, but you definitely develop feelings you don’t intend to feel. Because you know men like him, and you know that whatever you’re feeling, he’s probably not feeling the same. All the same, however hard you try, you can’t help yourself.

⊹ Services For A Queen Sub!JK AU | s | @taegonia ‣ Jungkook serves his queen in more ways than just as the royal head of security.

⊹ Cold Nights & Blurred Lines FWB & College AU | a, s, f | @awrkive ‣ Jungkook and you have been keeping a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. But as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. Is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? It definitely is. Will you do something about it? Both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes.

⊹ Strictly Platonic Bestfriends to Lovers & College AU | a, s, f | @jeonqkooks ‣ Sometimes, Jungkook can be a little selfish; and sometimes, the lengths you would go to for his happiness mean relinquishing your own.

⊹ In The Middle Of The Night FWB AU | s, f | @joonsmoonluna ‣  it’s the middle of the night and Jungkook’s in need of you ⊹ Perfectionist Dancer AU | s | @miraclesatnightfall ‣ "He watched you, with each sensual step you made his eyes darkened with explicit desire" ⊹ Tangle Free Establish Relationship AU | f | @here4btsfics ‣ Bad days lead to you needing your boyfriend for comfort, specifically by playing with his hair.

⊹ As It Was - Apart of Boy With Love Series (on-going) College AU | a | @ggukiepie ‣ You bump into Jungkook days after you find out he has a girlfriend; things don't go so well

⊹ The Habits Of A Broken Heart Soulmate & Unrequited love AU | a, f | @softykooky ‣ Jungkook and you are soulmates. So says the matching crescent moons on both your wrists. However, things are never as easy as they seem, and you are quick to learn that falling in love with someone who does not believe in love is a one-way ticket to heartbreak.  ⊹ Blackout - part 02, 03 Best friends to Lovers | s, a, f | @jjungxkook ‣ Utility bills shooting up like this should be an international crime. Luckily, Jungkook has the perfect idea(s) to save up money and make your night sinfully unforgettable.

⊹ Step Brother Step Siblings AU | s | @aris-ink ‣ Sub yn *innocently* dry humps her step brother jk while he plays video games.

⊹ Forbidden Romance Step Siblings AU | s | @aris-ink ‣ "It wasn’t unusual for your stepbrother to check up on you before bed. You’ve grown closer than you initially thought you would; it turned out that beneath the surface, you and Jungkook weren’t that different, after all."

⊹ My Perfect Patient Dentist Office AU | s, f | @pinkcherrybombs ‣ Jaw pain is just as much of a pain in the mouth as it is in the ass, but don't worry, your favorite dentist is sure to fix you right up, using some special methods.

⊹ Confessions - part 02 Office AU | a | @pinkcherrybombs ‣ Since we're about to die, I need you to know, I've always loved you, Jungkook.

⊹ Getting Railed Boyfriend Jungkook AU | s | @dearlytea ‣ Getting dicked by your boyfriend during a train ride.

⊹ Make You Mine College AU | a, s, f | @mercurygguk ‣ Your first day at your new college is quite eventful to say the least. But everything seems slightly less chaotic when Jeon Jungkook offers to help you on your way – if only knowing him wasn’t an even bigger mess than the day you first met.

⊹ Catch 22 College AU | s, f | @alluremin ‣ You and your best friend had agreed: college was for a good time only, no serious relationships were necessary. Who knew that a frat boy would be the one to shake up that notion?

⊹ Tolerate It - part 02 Failing marriage! au | a | @lmaosope ‣ Marriage is difficult, and every married couple fights. but jungkook has been late one too many times and broken one too many promises. it has you wondering why you give everything for a man who simply tolerates you.

⊹ Make You Mine Jock Jk au | a , s, f | @mercurygguk ‣ Your first day at your new college is quite eventful to say the least. But everything seems slightly less chaotic when Jeon Jungkook offers to help you on your way – if only knowing him wasn’t an even bigger mess than the day you first met.

⊹ His Throne - 01, 02, 03 Prince JK au | a, s, f | @jiminsa ‣ You, a maid for the royal family, have sex with the irresistible prince Jeon Jungkook on his throne.

[imjustdreamingig]

Isn't that sweet, I guess so

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

summary: The secret's out, Steve's proud of himself, and you can't seem to keep your mouth shut

A/N: chat there is no way I put out 2 fic in the past week, this has never happened to me before! yay everyone cheer. again, i have no idea where this story is going how far im gonna go, i def want to try writing other stuff and idk if this is the best place to put and end to whatever this series is but again, we shall see i guess. thank you all so much on the love on my last two works you have no idea what that means to me! please please PLEASE send me asks or comment what you'd like me to write next or if you want a pt4 i need help people

warnings: sfw, swearing, fluff, idiots who like each other

Facing your fears is tough. No matter what it is, no one would actually choose putting themselves through a situation in which they know would cause them extreme distress. For some that may be going on a rollercoaster, interacting with a clown, going into a dark forrest alone, it could even be making a phone call by yourself to schedule a doctor's appointment (which is a valid fear to have, thank you very much.)

And here you were, facing your fears: being sat in your living room with Steve Harrington 3 feet away from you for an extended period of time. It's only been about 15 minutes, where no talking has happened since minute two.

You hope you can get to 30 minutes without fainting.

As you attempted to focus on the book in front of you, Jane Austen's words, who usually kept your focused for hours on end, were not being absorbed by you in the slightest. How could they, when Steve fucking Harrington was in your house.

Steve is the type of guy who Jane Austen would write about, you thought, eyes flickering towards him as he hunched over his book, face crinkled in concentration, trying to understand said author's musings.

The swoop of his hair, the two moles near his neck, his deep, beautiful, chocolate eyes, his gorgeous smile, and my god those arms? Yep, Jane would be absolutely obsessed with him.

"God, why did I agree to do this book?" You are snapped out of your daze at Steve's words. "What do you mean?", you replied. He gave you a look that can only be described as "seriously?"

"I mean, that I can barley understand what any of these characters are saying half the time, and honestly, it's a bit boring. I thought you would have better book recommendations," he said, running a hand through his hair to push it out of his face.

A scoff left your mouth before you could stop it. "Excuse me, are you actually hating on Pride and Prejudice, the best romance story of all time, the romance story, period." You leaned over and snatched his book. "I mean, come on! You are literally only 6 pages in, you can't just judge it that quickly, you haven't even gotten to the good parts yet!", you exclaim.

Steve watched you with an amused look on his face, unbeknownst to you, who kept rambling on, trying to convince Steve this book was worth continuing.

"— and Elizabeth, she is just funny, like actually hilarious. There is one part where she basically tells someone that I'd rather not be wasting my air talking to someone like you, like please, how did she even come up with that? Also, I'm just obsessed with this proper English style of speaking, or writing I guess, because they're basically talking shit but covering it up with fancy words! And when—"

"You talk a lot, don't you?"

You look up from the book and towards Steve, eyes widening slightly, realizing you had indeed been talking too much.

"One of my greatest faults, some may say, and by faults I mean my mom, but she only tells me this when we're arguing, so..." You glance away from Steve's face for a little reprieve. God, he's so hot.

"Well, like a good partner," you continue. "I'm trying to help you get some of this project done, and maybe if Robin were here, she could've helped," you defended yourself, crossing your arms, "which I'm still confused about, by the way. You said something about her telling you earlier how I invited you guys and some other people to work on the project together, but then she doesn't show?"

Steve leans back in his chair, also crossing his arms. You glance down for a quick second and send a quick thank you to anyone who's that Steve is wearing a tight shirt that beautifully enunciates his biceps. Or maybe you should be mad at them, you don't know yet.

"Maybe it's the fact that she noticed, like I did, that it's been a month since this project was assigned and we haven't even started," Steve countered, "which is unlike you, you usually want to get stuff done ASAP."

You look at him in confusion. "How the fuck do you know that?"

Steve smirks, "I also happen to know that you don't have a sister, thanks to that lovely dinner with your mom." You shake your head in disbelief, mentally making a note to yell at your mom later.

"Isn't that what you said one of the many times I asked you to work on the project?" Steve looked so amused with himself, all cocky and proud that he had uncovered your lie. Your brain tried desperately to come up with a realistic enough explanation, but nothing was coming up.

You throw your hands up in defeat. "Ok, fine! I lied! Is it just so hard for you to believe that maybe, just maybe, not everyone in that high school wants to spend time with you outside of it?" Oh my God, why the fuck would you say that, you screamed internally.

Steve stared at you for a second before letting out a chuckle. " You know, I did think of that actually, but only for a bit." He reaches out for the book and grabs it from your grasp, flipping to a random page.

"You can only run away from a guy so many times before he catches a hint," he peers over at you, " and I mean literally, you're a fast runner, did you ever do track?"

"Yeah, in middle school," you answer quickly. Steve lets out a hum of agreement before placing his attention back on the book. You open your mouth, about to quip about being careful to not rip the pages when he speaks again. "I know I'm dumb, but I'm not an idiot, ya know?"

Your gaze snaps to his face. "Steve, I don't think you're dumb." He doesn't look too convinced. "Eh, I think you do. But you're interesting, you took me a lot longer to figure out than the others since girls just typically throw themselves at me."

You make a face of disgust, "Ok, you sound like a total prick, you know."

"Yep, heard it after I said it, but that's not the point here." He point his finger at you, "You have a crush on me."

You splutter out a sound of indignation. "Hello, what?" In your head, fire alarms are sounding. It's a code red, all hell is breaking loose. "Pfft, no I absolutely do not."

Steve raises his eyebrows. "Then how else do you explain the running away when you see me anywhere at school? You always have an insane excuse why we're not able to meet up to start the project, which some are hilarious," he admits, "but you've got me complaining about not doing homework, look what you've done to me!"

At this point you've gone silent, mouth agape with an excuse stuck in your throat refusing to come out. Steve's expression has changed, his eyes bore into yours with earnest, almost as if he's anticipating a certain answer, hoping for it. "So?"

You muster all the courage you have left and just when you're about to respond, Steve interrupts you again for like, the 15th time.

"Anyways, I've to get going, have some things to do and whatever." He gets up, shrugs on his jacket and then places his books in his backpack. You get up too, having absolutely no clue how to tell him not to go, that you want him to stay. "Steve, what do you mean?"

He glances over at you, "Nothing, I just have to go. I'm a busy guy." He starts making his way to your front door, leaving you behind in the kitchen, trying to understand what the fuck just happened. First, he accuses you of having a crush on him, which you do, and then he just thinks he can leave?

Oh, absolutely not.

With a new wave of determination, you catch up to Steve just as he's finishing putting on his shoes. "Say thanks to your mom for me for dinner, it was great," he says as he grabs the door handle. You don't let him continue with whatever stupid thing he was going to say next.

"Listen Harrington, I don't know what the fuck just happened back there, but the fact you think can just, leave after dropping a bomb like that is ridiculous," you say, glaring at him in annoyance, and Steve's just staring back at you with that stupid, stupid, smirk that has not left his face since the moment he stepped foot in here.

"So what if I did like you, huh? What if I did have a crush on you? Because I do, but that, quite frankly, is none of your business, none of your concern, actually, so... yeah." Steve is looking at you and you're looking at him, a little out of breath after your declaration. You don't have the energy right now to fully process what you just said.

All of a sudden, Steve seems to break character, the smugness gone, replaced with subtle endearment. He leans down and presses a swift kiss on your cheek before whispering, "Well, it's a good thing I like you too." He straightness back up and says, "I told you I knew you were different, you're a mystery. You're lucky running away seemed to work on me, by the way. I don't think it would for everyone else," he says while you stare at him in shock. You've been rendered silent once again, with nothing but the thought that Steve likes you back, repeating over and over again.

You clear your throat before speaking, "Well! Um, yay?" You truly have no idea what to do right now. Steve chuckles at your reaction, like he can't believe his words have caused you of all people, who continuously talk and talk and talk, to not have anything profound to say for once. He's kind of into it.

Steve grabs your hand and encases it with the other. "Come over to my house tomorrow after school, I'll drive you. We can work on the project and you know, talk, if you want." You nod fervently, "Yeah, yeah ok."

He smiles and drops your hand. "I really do have to go though, I wasn't making that up," he remarks as he opens the front door. "Oh, sure, that's fine," you reply. You hold open the door for him and watch as he descends the steps and makes his way towards his car. You watch him, holding onto the door for dear life.

As Steve gets into the car, he looks over at you and waves, "I'll see you tomorrow!" You wave back and yell back, "Yeah, tomorrow!" You don't go back inside until the car is out of sight. As you shut the door, you press your back against it, trying to wrap your head around what exactly happened in the last few hours.

Holy shit, you though, Steve Harrington likes me. Steve fucking Harrington. You let out an involuntarily squeal of excitement and immediately regret doing it as your mother calls down from upstairs. "Mija, are you ok? What happened?" Hearing her voice reminds you of her involvement over the events that transpired tonight.

Putting your happiness on hold for a moment, you start to storm up the stairs. "Mom!", you yelled, "How could you embarrass me like that, asking him to stay over for dinner, you know how I feel about him, I just about fainted 5 times throughout the night, how does that make you feel!? You almost killed me an—"

You would thank your mom later, because ultimately she helped, but for now, you'll stick to this.

[companionjones]

Not Your Fault

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Fandoms: Marvel, MCU

Summary: Bucky reacts accordingly.

Warnings: Cursing

*******

You always liked the quin-jet after missions. Successful missions, anyway. After successful missions the atmosphere on the quin-jet was so light and airy. You loved it.

"Honey, you're not making sense," Bucky, your boyfriend said suddenly, interrupting your thoughts.

Wait, had you said that out loud?

Everyone on the quin-jet was staring at you.

Had you said that out loud too?

Bucky slowly got up and approached you, "Y/n? Honey, are you okay?"

No, you weren't. Now that you thought about it. Your head hurt a little. You brought a hand up, hoping pressure to the painful area would help. It didn't. What also didn't help with your growing headache was seeing that your hand was then covered in blood. "Huh. That might explain why I'm narrating out loud."

The last thing you remembered before everything went to black was Bucky catching you before you hit the ground.

You woke up in the medbay back at the compound. You were surprised to see Bruce there. Usually, he was only involved in super-powered medical cases. As far as you could tell, your head injury resulted from hitting a wall that was not made of gamma rays.

"Hey, Banner," you smiled as you noticed your drug-induced haze.

The doctor reflected your grin. "Hey, look who's awake. And don't worry about me being here. Your head's all stitched up. It was nothing serious. Bucky just insisted I be involved to cover all our bases.

"Oh, Bucky." You face-palmed when you thought about your boyfriend. "Is he okay?"

Bruce was confused. "Yeah. He's fine, of course. Why wouldn't he--?"

"I know he's okay physically, Bruce. I mean--" You didn't need to refer to how Bucky usually got when you were in trouble.

"Oh," Bruce immediately got what you were saying. "Yeah, no. Buck is sorta..."

"Losing his shit out there?"

"Entirely," Bruce nodded.

You snorted, but the humor didn't stay. "Could you send him in here please?"

Again, he nodded. "Of course. Regarding the head injury, you'll be fine. Just stay on bed-rest for a couple weeks, okay?"

You mock-saluted, "You got it, doc. Thank you."

"Anytime." Bruce smiled just before he ducked out of the room.

Bucky entered less than thirty seconds later.

He looked like shit. You'd talked out loud on purpose that time. "How long was I out for? It couldn't've been that long, right?"

"Only a few hours, but it felt longer," Bucky explained.

He really did look horrible. "Oh, baby. Come here." You held out your arms to him.

Bucky approached you and sat down on your hospital bed. He took your face in his hands. "Banner said you're okay. Do you feel okay?"

"I do. Baby, baby." You took his hands in yours, partly to get them off your face. "I'm okay."

He was tearing up. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? I know you couldn't've stopped me from getting hurt, if that's what we're talking about...Bucky." You brought his gaze up to meet yours again when it fell. "Look at me and say that I'm okay."

"...You're okay," he mumbled.

"Now tell me that this isn't your fault."

"It's...it's not my fault."

"I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear you."

"It's not my fault!" he laughed at how stubborn you were. "Happy now?"

"Almost...Come here," you smiled and pulled him to you for a kiss.

*******

Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, check out my masterlists. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

[itsnathateasy]

armin being oblivious

word count: 1,2k warnings: angst author’s note: this had been in my head for so long! (ps: i remember seeing the jeans/legs idea on tiktok but didn’t save the link, if you’ve also seen the vid lmk so i can include the reference!) ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

oblivious!armin breaks his own heart by never catching up to your hints. he tries his hardest to endure seeing you flirting with other people and to deal with your constant teasing him, because he really has no clue you’re head over heels for him

you once invited him over late at night for netflix and chill, but his response is “nothing good on netflix nowadays” followed by “besides it’s getting late, rain check for friday?” was this boy living under a rock or something?

oblivious!armin sees how you treat him nicely or even special in some occasions, like how you always text him goodmorning/goodnight or how you order his favourite pastry for him when you’re meeting for coffee, maybe even how you notice his shirt is buttoned the wrong way, so you unbutton it to do it right, too shy to meet each others gaze as you do so

however, oblivious!armin justifies it all by how good friends you are and how you’ve been super close for such a long time, it’s only natural that you do special things for each other, right?

oblivious!armin once compliments your jeans while you’re both drunk at jean’s party, slurring how “your legs look so damn good in those jeans” and you playfully respond with “well, you should’ve seen me without them!”, giggling and laughing

needless to say armin’s face dropped to the floor, baby boy was so confused

“did i say something wrong armin? what happened? thought we were having fun?” you ran your hand on his shoulder, caressing him

“why would you cut off your legs, y/n, wtf? this is your final drink for the night!” he grabbed onto you hand, pulling you away from the crowd and heading outside. he later even checked you everywhere to make sure you’re not hurt and tried to carry you home, but he was so drunk you both ended up on the floor.

“armin, in my humble opinion, it’s you who’s had too many drinks!”

oblivious!armin is always going the extra mile for you, helping you with little things that you’d need done during the day, he’d send you reminders for your groceries or that doctor’s appointment you mentioned you couldn’t skip

oblivious!armin was being so overprotective, even though he’d never admit this true motives behind his actions to you. he keeps tabs on all the people who approach you at parties and makes sure to intervene if you seem uncomfortable, snaking his arm around your waist and kissing you on the temple because “jean is expecting us, y/n, we should go” as he pulls you away from whatever guy was being too pushy

“sorry about earlier, y/n, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but you looked like you needed a way out”

“you can’t really think i was flirting with that guy, right armin?”

“why wouldn’t i think that? he looks kinda cute… if only he weren’t being this pushy”

“armin, i’m gonna hold your hand as i say this, but i’d been eyeing YOU. the entire time”

“i know, and that’s why i came to the rescue!” he closed the distance between you by kissing your temple once again. “couldn’t leave my best friend in that awful situation any longer” he pulled back and smiled brightly at you

“are we really though? best friends?” you stared at him, trying to smile at him and play nonchalant, but failed miserably, your smile turning into a crooked frown.

“of course we are, y/n!” he pulled you into his arms and hugged you tight. “don’t question that”

that was the cherry on top of the cake for you. you’d finally had enough with how oblivious armin was being. you realised you’d have to give it to him plain and simple cause that boy wasn’t comprehending shit.

a few days later, you were on your way to brunch with armin, connie, jean and sasha, you were walking behind them with armin, sasha in between the two boys, trying to prevent them from punching each other over a joke.

you reach your hand to hold armin’s and wait for him to react. he doesn’t. he’s simply rubbing circles with him thumb on the outer side of your palm.

you felt your cheeks flush up as you side-eyed armin to see the reaction on his face, only to find him side-eyeing you. holding back a chuckle, you smile at each other, continuing your way to your brunch spot.

once you walk inside the store, you’re all spreading around, looking for the best spot to fit all five of you, and sasha notices you both holding hands when she turns around to ask “do you prefer by the window or by the-” her sentence cut short as realisation filled her eyes.

“i’ll go get the others to that table on the balcony! meet us soon, but not too soon in case… you know… want to be alone… or something...” she even had the nerve to wink at you!

you exchanged a meaningful look with armin, not yet addressing the little situation you had going on for yourselves, and walked behind sasha, over to the table she’d picked out.

the brunch date went smoothly, you had your seat next to armin, as per usual, and you were still being very accommodating for each other, which wasn’t uncommon either. sasha giggling at the pair of you was uncommon. she was being a real nightmare and making you both really awkward, but you didn’t say anything, you knew she meant no harm and was honestly excited about you.

you were so thankful the others never noticed how armin would rest his palm on your thigh, softly moving it up and down in a swift motion, or how you often placed your arm behind his back, moving yourself closer to him, because “your previous posture became painful”.

do i need to repeat that sasha behaved like a kid on a ferris wheel?

“you should really cut down on caffeinated drinks, sasha, you’re almost resembling that squirrel from “hoodwinked”, connie remarked, earning him a great laugh from the rest of you.

at the end of the date, armin and you split from the group as he offered to walk you back home (sasha asked you to “take care” and winked, connie and jean giving her some inquiring looks).

you reached your door sooner than you’d like, but before you could turn around to say anything, armin cupped your face and kissed you and god knows how long you’d been longing for that kiss, that turned deeper and warmer the more you kept your lips attached to each other.

you parted from the kiss after what felt like a sweet eternity, but was probably only a couple of minutes, both breathless, cheeks turning pink.

“today was rather… overwhelming, but do you maybe wanna meet tomorrow and… talk? about us, i mean?” he asked you nervously, fidgeting with his fingers.

“sure thing, armin! i’ll text you in the morning!” and with that, you said your goodbyes (it was "one more kiss, and one more, and one more, and one final kiss, pleeease, y/n!") and you walked upstairs to your apartment.

(I ALMOST DIED OF ANGST, I DIDN’T WRITE THIS POST, THIS POST WROTE ME)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I have recently discovered Raina_at on ao3 and I am adoring their fic! Any recs for authors creating similar work? Thanks for all the gorgeous list making and fic recs!

@raina-at on Tumblr

Raina_at on AO3

====

Hey Nonny!

Oh gosh, LOL my first suggestion would be to read all of their fics!! That's the best way to get your fill!

Here are the fics I have bookmarked by them:

Spare Parts by Raina_at (E, 63,497 w., 10 Ch. || 24th Century / Futurism AU || Post TRF, Pre-TRF Relationship, Case Fic, Mutual Pining, Estrangement, Reconciliation, Science Fiction, Reunion, Nightmares, Angry John, Cybernetic John, Emotional Discussions / Heart to Heart, POV John, Scars, Past Drug Use, Forehead Touching, Emotional Lovemaking, Kissing, Apologies, Kidnapping, Rescue Mission, BAMF John, Bed Sharing, Top Sherlock) – Two years ago, Sherlock Holmes jumped off the roof of New London Hospital. Two months ago, he walked into John's clinic as if no time had passed at all. John hasn't seen him since. But then Sherlock knocks on John's door with a case he can't say no to, and while figuring out why the biggest manufacturer or synthetic limbs in the System is going after veterans, they also need to find out whether there's a way to fix what's broken between them. Part 1 of Realigning Gravity

Realigning Gravity Series by Raina_at (E, 69,159+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Sci-Fi / 24th Century Future AU || Post TRF, Cybernetic John, Estrangement, Reconciliation, Developing Relationship, Anniversary, Case Fic, Happy Endings, Doctor John) – Two years ago, Sherlock Holmes jumped off the roof of New London Hospital. Two months ago, he walked into John's clinic as if no time had passed at all. John hasn't seen him since. But then Sherlock knocks on John's door with a case he can't say no to, and while figuring out why the biggest manufacturer or synthetic limbs in the System is going after veterans, they also need to find out whether there's a way to fix what's broken between them.

Bakers with Benefits by Raina_at (E, 88,130 w., 14 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Strangers to Lovers, Switchlock, Friends with Benefits, Mentions of Alcoholism / Past Drug Use, Banter, Flirting, Fluff, Light Angst, Semi-Public Sex, Past Sherlock/Victor, Mutual Pining, POV Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes has a successful YouTube baking channel, but what he really wants is his own bakery. When an old friend sends him a call for the very first Great British Bake Off, he seizes the opportunity to finally win a sponsor for his bakery. Here's the plan: Win Bake Off, get the bakery, don't fall in love with the handsome Army doctor at the neighbouring station. Easy.

=====

It's hard to rec authors that are like other authors because I truly believe every author has their own unique style that have quirks and styles that I enjoy equally.

If you want similar-style stories that have the world building like Raina's, across various genres, my personal suggestions are:

J_Baillier

khorazir

SilentAuror

BeautifulFiction

patternofdefiance

Silvergirl

MojoFlower

azriona

SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John

But that's just the ones that I saw on a quick scroll through PAGE ONE of like 200 of my bookmarks. AS I SAID, it's hard for me to compare, but those are good places to start. Each of them build their worlds drastically differently, but it feels natural all the same.

I legit just want to say though, check ALL of the authors' fics I rec, because they're all wonderful and unique!!! I wish I was better at suggesting more, but I'm terrible at these "authors like authors" lists.

Mainly I'm publishing this because I wanted @raina-at to know that they have a fan who took time out of their day to tell me how much they love your work, and Nonny, PLEASE go to their tumblr and let them know, AND comment on their fics!!!!! <3

[dannyphantom-zero]

Doctor Danny: First official chapter

The busy hospital was on its last leg. Nurses and interns were scattered, running around like mice.

Sounds of trauma care patients and emergency care patients alarms were constantly ringing.

In the midst of it all, one calm collected doctor cared tenderly for each patient.

He, was Danny Fenton, who used to be known for having two crazy ghost enthusiasts for parents. He still loved his parents despite how hard it was growing up as half ghost.

Jazz had told them a long time ago and they had ignored it for the most part. Like that side of him didn't exist.

It had hurt at the time but Danny had managed to move past it. After successfully securing his position as ghost king (on accident) he put his newfound authority to good use making the ghosts swear a vow to behave.

A ghost vow is a big deal, which is why Danny swore a vow in return acknowledging them, if ever a ghost were in danger he would help them.

After the lack of ghost attacks Danny found he had next to nothing to do. His only hobby outside of playing video games had been ghost fighting. He hadn't realized how used to it he had gotten.

Danny hadn't even picked the college he wanted to go to yet.

Danny approached the Nasty Burger, his last refuge.

That's when he noticed a man who seemed a little out of it. The man stumbled making Danny wonder if he was drunk.

Danny turned to go inside when the man collapsed. Danny rushed over to the man and rolled him on his back. He checked for a pulse but couldn't find one.

Of course he wasn't exactly medically trained.

Danny dialed nine-one-one and started to perform CPR as best he could.

He explained to the operator clearly the situation and the ambulance came in no time.

Later that night Danny was processing the events in his head and instead of feeling scared or nervous he felt excited.

He was thrilled to have something to get his blood pumping again. Which is why he applied for med school. He studied hard, using all the time he had to memorize all the medical information that he could.

After graduation he interned at Amity Parks local hospital before moving up his position to resident.

Only a week after getting his new position he was forced to leave the hospital. It was closing because of a lack of funding.

"Please sir! What about the staff or the patients?"

The head of the medical board shook his head.

"Dr. Fenton, this hospital runs on little to nothing to begin with, we are lucky to have even made it this far. The patients will be transfered and the staff, relocated"

Danny furrowed his brows in concern.

"Don't worry Dr. Fenton, your quite literally the best we've seen walk these halls, your sure to get a good recommendation"

Danny clenched his fist.

"What are my options?" He asked.

The board looked at his sheet, flipping several until he found the right one on his clipboard.

"You said you wanted to work at a busy hospital right?"

Danny nodded yes.

"There aren't too many around here, the busiest hospital I can think of belongs to a crime ridden city a bit far  from here." He said.

"Gotham City"

Danny's breath hitched. He had heard about Gotham before. It was notorious for its villains.

Despite that, it was alluring.

"There! Send me to Gothams hospital!" He said suddenly and eagerly.

"Okay, if you say so. Do us all a favor and survive alright"

Danny laughed, "sure, I'll do my best. No promises though"

Just like that Danny packed up moved to Gotham.

He had little time to research Gotham before hand but he had heard several mutters in passing of a place called Crime Alley, a strange nickname for sure.

Danny was sure that this place would either be completely clean due to police intervention or incredibly overrun.

Danny signed a lease at the Shirley Apartments.

"Are you sure about this young man" the desk lady asked him.

He smiled kindly.

"Yes I am, I've heard the rumors and have weighed the risk. In the end it might be helpful to know just how my patients love to receive the injuries they do"

The lady sighed.

"That's right, you said your a doctor. Be careful out there, any talent in Gotham is either warped by a villain or destroyed"

Danny was a little startled by the warning, apparently there was even more to Gotham than he knew.

"I'm sorry I forgot to ask for your name"

"Didn't give one, in Gotham it's best to remain anonymous"

Danny blinked a little surprised.

"It's that dangerous, well I'll take your word for it then, thank you miss" he said as he took the key from her.

He had been able to store the old car his dad had given to him in a locked garage. He wasn't sure how well it would hold up but there was only so much he could do against humans.

Ghost powers had little, of any, effect on humans when it came to offense. Defensively they were pretty great to have.

He had only brought five boxes with him, no furniture. Back in Amity he had been busy studying and had brushed aside buying furniture.

Unfortunately that meant he had no bed.

Danny was glad to have found a beaten up wardrobe. It was missing it's doors and was leaning to the side, even so Danny was able to fix it and hang his clothes up in it.

He grabbed one of the boxes and smiled warmly when he saw a Fenton Emergency pack inside.

His mom must've stuffed it there when he was looking, lucky for him it had a sleeping bag.

An air mattress would've been nice too, but it's the thought that counts.

Danny safely stored his two favorite pictures. One of him with his family and one with his friends.

They were hidden just in case someone decided to break in, not that there would be much to find anyway but it never hurt to be careful.

Danny went to sleep soon after despite the sounds of the city.

Danny woke up feeling refreshed. He grabbed his bags and hopped in his car.

Danny hadn't realized how busy Gothams hospital actually was. Danny pulled into Gotham General and as soon as he was in his scrubs and coat he was dragged into the frey.

"We need a doctor over here!" Someone called just as Danny had finished with a patient.

Despite having to run around all day Danny wasn't tired, his ghost half supplied him energy after his human side ran dry.

All in all Danny first day on the job was hectic and he had worked for fourteen hours.

Once he was back in his apartment Danny set up a table that he had pre ordered online.

Then he got to work. According to his knowledge, most of his patients had suffered from some kind of attack or other.

Most of the heavy hitters were villains named Joker, Penguin and two face.

The riddler was taken care of, Poison Ivy had been rehabilitated and Harley Quinn had broken free from Jokers choke hold on her.

There was also the less obvious villains, like the business man lex Luther.

Lex Luther was shady at best, while no one could get hard evidence on him most people knew to be wary.

But just being informed didn't stop them from falling into his traps.

Lately Bruce had done official business with Lex Luther, which made him a suspicious person whom Danny had decided to keep tabs on, he was wary of the rich and for good reasons.

The cork board above Danny table has a litter of documents and pictured pined by red string. The players who were out of the game were crossed off.

Then there were the vigilantes. A few of them had been known to be rough, a necessary violence.

Still they seemed to have little awareness of what their little battles did to other people. Because many people came in for minor injuries due to being caught in the crossfire.

Which meant Danny had to find a way to keep everybody in line so patients would decrease in number. Danny let himself sleep for four hours before returning to the hospital.

"Oh my gosh, Doctor Fenton is still here" one nurse whispered. It had been a full day and half, Danny was running on his ghost half that seemed to keep replenishing itself due to the toxic air of Gotham. A positive side effect.

"How does he never get tired?"

"Maybe he's superhuman" one girl cracked. They noticed as he rushed by them to get to another patient.

"He's quite handsome too" one said wistfully, "but who wants a husband that works all the time"

Danny noticed the next patient seemed tense and he kept screaming for his daughter.

Danny whispered in the man's ear and put a hand on his forehead. He had used a ghost technique he learned from Nocturne and the man calmed down.

The other doctors were impressed as they worked to care for the man's injuries.

Finally the head of the unit noticed Danny and after reviewing his chart had forced him to go home.

"I don't feel fatigued at all sir, I promise I am not compromised. I can care for the patients"

The head wasn't having any of it.

"Above all your health is just as important as the patients we care for. For them to get healthy, you have to be healthy. Go home Dr.Fenton, you can come back after you get at least ten hours of sleep."

Danny wanted to argue but he knew the head was right.

"Yes sir" he said before changing into civilian clothes and leaving the hospital.

Now that he was out of a hospital setting things like hunger started to appear.

Maybe he had been to focused to notice how hungry he had been.

Danny blearily noticed a fast food place. His instincts told him the food would be greasy and way too unhealthy.

Mmm, comfort food.

The nostalgia fought with his doctoral instincts and won. All Danny wanted was to sit in a booth and eat some greasy food.

Danny ordered the double cheeseburger with bacon with a side of ten pieces chicken nuggets and large order of fries.

Waiting, even for five minutes, was starting to make Danny ravenous. As soon as he got his food he sat down and started gorging himself.

It was pretty good food for a little fast food place in the world's worst city.

Danny liked the tenderness and crispiness of the burger, the cheese was melted just right too.

Danny dipped his nuggets in sweet n' sour sauce while fighting the urge to kick his legs like a happy little kid.

As Danny left the restraint he saw an alert on his phone for a villain attack and rushed to the scene.

To his satisfaction the culprits were already being hauled away in police custody. They were just small fries, not of them appeared connected to a big player, so Danny was free to shut them out of his mind.

Which is exactly what he did. Danny drove back to his apartment and let out a sigh of relief.

That's when he noticed his door was slightly ajar.

His guard was up immediately. Danny stepped inside cautiously. He was relieved when everything appeared untouched but the scare had sent him a trip to get stronger locks.

On his way back to his car from the store he heard sound of a glass bottle breaking in a nearby alley. It was small alley, from what Danny could tell it was also a dead end alley.

Taking a risk Danny stepped in and chills went down his spine when he heard labored breathing.

Danny rushed over and froze at what he saw.

[deliciousangelfestival]

Nothing Has Changed - 15

Summary: Returning home for peace, you're faced with your tormentor, Bucky Barnes, who is now involved in your family's business.

Character: Bucky Barnes

Warning: Angst, Tragedy.

Author Note: From the last poll, the series that you want to see updated is this one. I hope you enjoy this update.

Nothing Has Changed - Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more. 💖💖💖

“Just like your father. Dishonest to the core,” Lydia sneered, her eyes narrowing as she glared at Bucky.

He exhaled sharply, folding his arms. “How could he ever marry you? And how did I end up with a mother like you?”

Without warning, Lydia snatched up the magazine and flung it at him. Bucky moved effortlessly, dodging the flying object with ease. “You threw me in jail, and now you disrespect me? I can’t believe this is my life,” she spat, her voice seething with resentment.

Bucky sighed, but there was no sympathy in his eyes. He walked over to the coffee table and sat down on the edge, directly facing her. His movements were calm, controlled, but Lydia could sense something had shifted in her son—something dangerous.

He raised three fingers slowly, holding them in front of her. “Three times,” he said coldly, his voice steady and low. “If you push me past three, I’ll send you back to jail. And from what I hear, the food there does wonders for your diet.”

Lydia’s face twisted with rage, her jaw clenched so tight that her teeth ground together. She stood abruptly, practically trembling with fury, but she said nothing. Instead, she shot him a glare, turned on her heel, and stormed out of the room, her footsteps echoing loudly as she left.

Bucky watched her go, his jaw tense, his hands tightening into fists. The room was quiet again, but inside, his thoughts were turbulent. How did it come to this? How did everything get so twisted?

For years, he had been blind—blind to the lies, the manipulation, the way his mother had used him as a pawn in her schemes. He had fought to protect her, fought for a family that had never truly existed. Now, he saw her clearly, and the bitter truth burned like acid in his veins.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

The situation in your house wasn’t much better. Despite Tom’s insistence that he was fine, you could still see the tension in his eyes, the way his hands fidgeted, unable to relax. His panic lingered beneath the surface, though he kept trying to mask it with forced smiles and shallow breaths.

Then your phone rang. The screen lit up with a name—Alan, Harlan’s oncologist. You took a steadying breath before answering.

"Hello, I’m sorry I just saw your text," Alan's voice crackled through.

“It’s alright, I know you’re busy,” you replied, trying to keep your voice calm even though your mind was racing.

“That’s true, I barely get enough sleep. I’m really sorry about your father,” Alan offered.

“Thank you,” you murmured. “Did you see the photo I sent?”

“I did. From the photo alone, I can’t tell exactly what’s in the pill. But one thing did catch my attention,” Alan said, his tone shifting slightly.

Your grip on the phone tightened. “The doctor’s name?”

“Yes,” Alan confirmed. “Tony Stark. I’m really surprised he’s practicing again, considering everything.”

Your heart began to pound, a sudden unease creeping in. “What did Tony do?”

Alan sighed on the other end. “He’s been involved in some serious controversies. He offered treatments to patients who didn’t need them—overcharging, committing insurance fraud, manipulating patients for financial gain.”

Tony Stark? You felt a chill run down your spine. You glanced toward your father’s bedroom, your thoughts spiraling. Could Tom have been misdiagnosed?

“Alan, what if my father’s been misdiagnosed?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“If I were you, I’d get a second opinion immediately,” Alan advised, his tone firm. “Come to my clinic anytime. I’ll personally check on your father, and bring his medication with you.”

You exhaled in relief, trying to steady your shaking hands. “Thank you, Alan. I really appreciate it.”

He chuckled lightly. “It’s my pleasure. After all, you and Harlan helped grow my portfolio quite a bit.”

You forced a smile, though it didn’t reach your eyes. “Thanks again. Would tomorrow work?”

“Of course. Anytime,” Alan replied before you both wrapped up the call.

Quietly, you moved toward your father’s bedroom door. You eased it open just a crack, peeking inside. There was Tom, frail and fragile, a shadow of the man you once knew. Is this really cancer, or has he been subjected to unnecessary treatment? The question hung heavy in your mind, twisting your stomach.

The next morning, you stood by the car, loading a suitcase into the trunk. The air was tense, and Tom, leaning against the doorframe of the house, still looked uncertain. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, clearly hesitant.

“Daughter,” he started, his voice wavering. “Our doctor is good. He has so many certificates and awards…”

You gently led him toward the passenger seat, your hand firm but comforting on his shoulder. “Having certificates and awards doesn’t mean the diagnosis and treatment are 100% right, Dad. If that were all it took to be a doctor, everyone would be cured,” you said softly but firmly.

Tom sighed, unable to argue. He nodded and got into the car, his hands fumbling with the seatbelt. It dawned on him then that this was the first time he’d ever been in your car, the first road trip he’d ever taken with you.

After making sure everything was packed and ready, you moved toward the driver’s seat. Just as you reached for the door handle, a familiar sound caught your attention—the low hum of a car engine. You turned to see Bucky’s car pulling up to the driveway. He parked hastily and stepped out quickly, his face a mixture of curiosity and concern.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his gaze flickering between you and your father.

You didn’t meet his eyes, not wanting to reveal the real reason. “Just a road trip,” you said with a casual shrug. “I realized I never had that moment with my father.”

Bucky studied you for a moment, his expression unreadable. But then he nodded. “Alright. Safe trip, guys,” he said, his voice softening. “I’ll take care of the house while you’re gone.”

“Thank you,” you responded, offering him a small, appreciative smile before slipping into the driver’s seat.

As you drove away, you glanced in the rearview mirror. Bucky stood there, watching your car disappear down the road, his figure growing smaller in the distance. There was something in his eyes—something he wasn’t saying. You couldn’t quite place it, but it lingered in your thoughts as you drove farther from the house, from him.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

You and Tom entered the clinic, immediately struck by how different it was from the small-town hospital you were used to. The walls were pristine, the furniture modern and sleek, and the air felt fresher, almost too clean. Tom's eyes darted around, taking it all in.

“This place looks expensive,” he muttered under his breath, clearly uneasy.

Without looking up from the magazine you were idly flipping through, you gave a small smile. “It is. This doctor has treated presidents, actresses, athletes. He’s the best we’ve got,” you said casually, letting that sink in.

Tom’s eyes widened a bit at the thought. He glanced at you, as if seeing you in a new light. You had really gotten far since leaving that small town—much further than he’d realized.

Moments later, a nurse walked into the waiting area with a clipboard in hand. "Tom L/N?" she called, scanning the room.

Tom stiffened, his grip tightening on the arm of his chair. He shot you a quick, uncertain glance, and you gave him a reassuring nod. Slowly, he stood, and the two of you followed the nurse down the hallway.

When you stepped into the examination room, a tall man with kind, tired eyes and graying hair stood to greet you both. His demeanor was professional but friendly.

“Tom, Y/N, good to meet you,” Alan said warmly, offering a handshake to both of you. “I’ve heard a bit about your situation.”

Tom shook his hand, though his movements were stiff. “Likewise,” Tom muttered, still unsure of the whole process.

Alan motioned for Tom to sit on the examination table. "Let's take a look," he said, adjusting his stethoscope and carefully examining Tom. His hands were gentle but thorough as he checked Tom's vitals. “You’re quite underweight,” Alan noted with a concerned frown, pulling back to look at Tom. “We need to work on building your strength up. It’s critical.”

Tom forced a weak smile, clearly uncomfortable with the attention. He shifted in his seat, his eyes darting away as he spoke. “Yeah, well… haven’t had much of an appetite lately.” He hadn’t expected this doctor to be concerned about his weight; Alan was different from Tony.

Alan paused, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in Tom's condition. He placed a hand on Tom’s shoulder, his tone growing serious. “We’re going to do some tests—a scan, maybe a biopsy, to see what’s really going on. You’ll need to stay here for a while so we can monitor you.”

Tom looked uneasy, shifting on the examination table. He shrugged, then pointed toward you. “She’s in charge of all that. I trust her judgment.”

You smiled back at him, though your mind was racing. “Whatever you think is best, Doctor. We just want to get to the bottom of this.”

Alan nodded approvingly. “Good. I’ll have the nurse set everything up. In the meantime, we’ll make sure Tom gets the nutrition he needs.”

As the nurse came to escort Tom to the next room, you stayed behind with Alan. The atmosphere between you shifted immediately, the conversation taking on a more serious tone. You reached into your bag and handed Alan the collection of medication bottles your father had been taking.

Alan’s brows furrowed as he sifted through them, clearly surprised. "All of these?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” you replied, your voice low, a tightness in your chest. You’d had the same reaction the first time you saw the sheer number of pills.

Alan shook his head in disbelief, turning a bottle over in his hands. “This is way too much for anyone to be on,” he muttered. “I’ll send these to the lab for analysis. We need to know exactly what he’s been taking.”

You swallowed hard, nodding. "I don’t trust his diagnosis anymore, Doctor. What if… what if he’s been misdiagnosed?"

Alan looked at you seriously, setting the bottles down. “It’s possible. With the medications he’s been prescribed, there are a lot of red flags. Especially with what you mentioned about Dr. Stark.”

Your pulse quickened at the mention of that name. "If there's any chance my father’s been given something unnecessary… or worse, something harmful, I need to know."

“We’ll find out soon,” Alan reassured you, his voice steady. “But in the meantime, we’re going to focus on getting Tom back to a healthy place. He’s too frail right now, and we need to get him stabilized.”

You nodded, feeling a knot of anxiety loosening slightly. "So, what's the next step?"

"Tom will need to stay here for observation. We’ll run a few more tests and adjust his diet to get him stronger. You can visit him anytime, but don’t forget to take care of yourself too," Alan said, giving you a kind but pointed look.

🥀🥀🥀🥀

Later, after Tom was settled in and you knew he was in good hands, you found yourself wandering through the bustling city streets. The towering buildings and fast pace of city life made you feel small, but your mind kept drifting back to the clinic.

It's only been a few months, but already the city felt different. New cafés and restaurants had popped up, their signs gleaming with fresh paint. The pace of change was unsettling, and as you walked, memories of a quieter, more familiar place tugged at your thoughts.

Suddenly, you remembered the art gallery that had hired Steve. It wasn’t far from where you were, so you hailed a taxi, the ride feeling both quick and too slow as your mind wandered. Steve had always found solace in his art—maybe seeing his work would bring you some peace too.

When you arrived at the gallery, the soft hum of conversation and the faint smell of paint welcomed you. You moved through the exhibits, eyes catching on familiar brushstrokes. There it was—Steve’s painting. You paused, staring at the delicate lines, the vibrant colors. It felt like him, a piece of him still lingering on the canvas.

As you stood there, lost in thought, the gallery owner approached with a friendly smile. "Enjoying the collection?" they asked, their tone polite but cautious.

You nodded, still admiring Steve's work. "Yes, especially this one. Steve Rogers—he's incredible."

The gallery owner’s expression faltered, their eyes darkening with something you couldn’t quite place. "I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this… Steve was in an accident."

The world seemed to slow, your breath catching in your throat. “What?” you managed, voice barely above a whisper.

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[elliespassagerprincess]

i literally read ur five everyday i love them sm and i was wondering if u could make a angsty with a happy ending ellie x reader inspired by bubblegum by clairo

Bubblegum - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! thank youuu sm!! i hope you enjoy this fic... i tried something new:)

This story is based off the song Bubblegum by Clairo! if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

warnings: none

Summary: in which you fell in love

authors note: the good doctor season 7 has me in tears man, like bro why did they have to kill Asher????

masterlist

You never thought this day would come. You thought this would only be a fantasy.

If you told 15 year old you that you would be standing in front of Ellie Williams at the alter, she would've laughed.

Both of you wanted this day to be perfect, and it was. The flowers, your dress and her suit, the seating arrangements, everything was perfect.

She looked at you with such love, love that you have only seen in Disney movies.

The two of you held hands as it was time for your vows. Her hands felt soft, and she held you so gently.

Ellie had to go first. Her palms were slightly sweaty. She was nervous.

Very fucking nervous.

You gave her hand a light squeeze and you gave her a small smile. That was all she needed.

"Sorry I didn't kiss you but it's obvious I wanted to"

You smiled as you remembered the awkward memory.

It was a sleepover at Dina's house, the two of you were only 15. It was you, Dina, Jesse and Ellie.

Oh Ellie.

Ellie Williams.

When Ellie and Joel arrived in Jackson you were immediately drawn to her.

She was pretty.

Really pretty.

Very early on you developed feelings for her. You liked the way she drew pictures, you liked the way she cut her hair, you liked her sense of humor. You liked Ellie for her.

When Dina invited you to the sleepover, you almost burst with joy. This was your moment.

Ellie was anxiously packing her bag for the sleepover.

She needed to impress you. She packed all her best outfits. She really fucking liked you.

The four of you played 7 minutes in heaven and the bottle landed on you and Ellie. Dina squealed knowing the two of liked each other.

You were pissing yourself, and Ellie was wondering how she smelled.

She was going to make a move. She needed to let you know how she felt. The two of you walked into the closet, and Dina locked the door behind you.

"Hi" you muttered softly

"hey" Ellie said back.

The two of you sat in awkward silence.

C'mon Ellie make your move

"What's your favorite color?" She suddenly blurted.

A smile spread onto your face before you answered "pink".

The two of you spoke so many things in that few minutes you had together. You learned so much about her.

"You have 2 minutes!" Dina yelled from the other side of the door.

"This was fun" you smiled

"it was... we should talk more often"

She was so close to you. So fucking close. You could feel her breath on your face.

'C'mon move Ellie' she thought to herself.

But before Ellie could make her move, you leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were so so soft. You've been dreaming about this for months.

Ellie's eyes widened at the sudden feeling. She wanted to lean in. She wanted to kiss you back but she was in a state of shock.

Ellie pulled away, and she started at you with a blank expression.

"Times up!" Dina opened the door with a smile.

Ellie got up and she ran out the closet.

You felt embarrassed. Humiliated.

You thought you had a connection, but clearly you were wrong.

Fuck you hated yourself

Ellie would probably never look at you again.

You were so fucking embarrassing.

"Bubble gum down my throat and it's a curse

But my luck couldn't get any worse

'Cause I swallowed the bubble gum

Oh, and these seven years will be pretty dumb

Pink flowers grow from my skin

Pepto Bismol veins and I grin"

It felt like seven years had gone by.

Its been 4 years since the kiss, but it felt like its been longer. After the kiss situation with Ellie, she avoided you like the plague. She never spoke to you again and you hated yourself for that.

Not only did you lose the girl you felt so deeply for, you lost someone you considered a best friend.

Little did you know she was beating herself up too. She was mad at herself for walking away. She was mad at herself for not kissing you back.

She was too embarrassed to look at you.

Ellie never tried again with any other girl, her heart belonged to you. Even though she wasn't sure what she would do to win you back, she knew one day you'd be hers.

Every time you would walk into a room where Ellie was she stopped breathing. If was as if bubblegum was stuck in her throat.

She wanted to talk to you, but the words were stuck.

Every time you were close to her, she'd always imagine all the things she would say, how you'd react, all the possibilities of what could have been.

But she was too pussy to say something about it.

As if her luck couldn't get worse Joel died. Everyone in Jackson could see how it affected her.

Ellie was sad but she was soon filled with rage. She had to go after whoever killed Joel. When she decided to leave Jackson, she had to say bye to you.

Ellie walked to where your house was and she knocked on the door. You opened it and she remembered you were wearing a pink flower dress.

Why was she here?

"I'm leaving Jackson"

Your eyes widened and you stayed silent for a while.

"I'm coming with you"

You stayed by her side the whole time. You were there for her the whole time.

One night you woke up to voices talking downstairs. Cautiously you walked down the stairs and you saw Ellie sitting with Tommy.

"Hi Tommy" you smile.

He gave Ellie a serious look before he walked out, not even saying bye to you.

Ellie turned to you with a sad look, and you could feel the tension in the air.

"You look so nice in your shirt" you say hoping to ease the tension.

It didn't work.

She told you about Abby. She told you that Tommy found her. She told you that she was leaving you to find her. You stayed silent as she explained everything to you.

"Say something" she begged.

"This is sad"

"What is?"

"It's sad because it just hurts"

You stayed silent before speaking up again: "I understand you miss Joel, but killing her wont bring him back. You're choosing someone else over us."

"We're not even together" Ellie hissed.

"I never forced you to come with me"

"Fuck Ellie don't you see?" You yelled "I'd do anything for you, but would you do that for me, too?"

She stayed silent at your words.

"I left my life for you, i wanted to be with you. I loved you Ellie! Open your fucking eyes"

She never responded, she got up and she walked out the door.

"Run like you always fucking do!"

She left you. She was gone for 3 months. You were going to give up hope.

Until you heard the front door opened. You ran down the stairs and you saw her in all her glory.

She was bloody, dirty and she had a few fingers missing.

"You're still here" she said with relief she fell to her knees and you ran to her.

Tears fell from both your eyes before Ellie muttered "killing her wont bring him back"

You smiled as Ellie retold the story in her vows. The officiant cleared her throat "i now pronounce you... wife and wife! You may now kiss your wife"

Ellie immediately grabbed your face, and the two of you shared a passionate kiss.

The crowd erupted in cheers, and you felt her smile into the kiss.

This is what you've always dreamed of.

<3

[viennakarma]

Satisfaction [Part 2]

PART 2 OF SATISFACTION

Summary: Four times Lewis tried to apologize, and one time he didn't need to.

Word count: 4.3k

Tags: female!reader, apologetic!Lewis (finally), physiotherapist!reader, a little bit of romance, Lewis is trying, reader is more forgiving than the author would be, cursing, a bit angsty, happy ending, not beta read

Relationship: Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Note: I'm so sorry for taking so long with this! I had a writer's block specifically with this one. For everyone who sent me asks about it, I read everything, sorry if I didn't reply to all! Luckily, one dramatic anon sent me an ask saying they would graduate college with a doctorate before this came out, and it made me laugh out loud BUT it actually sparked something in my brain and I managed to write, lol. So, thanks, Dramatic Anon, I owe you one :D

I'm sorry if it's rushed or full of mistakes (haven't had the time to proofread).

Find me on Twitter!

I.

“Hey, Lewis! How are you doing?” Angela said as soon as she picked up his call, and Lewis held his breath before answering.

“Yeah, uh, I’m alright-”, he scratched his face nervously.

“I hope you’re not giving Y/N a hard time anymore, yeah?” Angela joked a little, her voice light.

“Oh. You know about that?”

“Yeah, I called her a few days ago to check in how’s the work and she mentioned you were not very receptive,” Angela said and Lewis noticed that, even saying that, you didn’t call him what he was. A complete prick. “And since she didn’t call again, I assumed things got better between you two.”

“Well, about that-” Lewis sighed, not knowing.

“What?” Angela paused, her voice suddenly serious again.

“She resigned. And it was entirely my fault.” He ripped the band-aid off.

“Lewis, what the actual fuck?!”

“I was awful to her. Way worse than I assume she told you. And before you call me every name under the sun, I need to contact her and apologize. Unfortunately, she blocked my number now, so if you can kindly let me know her address, so I can apologize.”

“You better fix this mess, Lewis.” Angela said before ending the call, as less than a minute later, a text popped up on his screen, your address. Which was in London, not very far from his own neighborhood.

Lewis sent flowers to your place with a small note apologizing and asking you to unblock him. When you didn’t answer and didn’t unblock him, he called the florist he had ordered to double check if you had received the flowers. You did. So you just didn’t want to talk to him. He kept sending a bouquet every day for the next three days. On the fourth day, as he was back home, he decided to go to your place himself.

He brought another bouquet, ringing the bell in your house. He rose the bouquet to cover his face, and he heard your voice, opening.

“Hi there, buddy! If I give you a hundred pounds, would you not bother bringing these flowers here? Just- throw them on the bin or something-” You stopped abruptly as the flowers lowered revealing not the young delivery man who’s been bringing flowers to your place every single day, but Lewis Hamilton himself.

“So you’re not even receiving the flowers?” He asked, sounding hurt.

“I got the first one, and I have no interest in anything that comes from you,” you managed to say, looking him straight in the eyes.

You looked exhausted, your hair was messy and your face lacked any makeup. But worse of all, you looked hurt and angry. 

“Wait, let me just- let me apologize, I can explain even if it’s not-” He dropped the bouquet, pleading.

“Just fuck off, ok? You have not a single reason to be here today.”

“I was an ass to you and-”

“And now we’re nothing. We are just strangers, nothing more, nothing less. Fuck off!” You said and didn’t even give him a second before slamming the door on his face.

II.

So the flowers were a no.

And he wasn’t sure where to go from that, since he couldn’t come up with any other way to make you at least give him a chance to talk.

He was still trying to think of something when he crossed paths with Oscar Piastri during media day. Lewis stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the rookie driver munching on a little protein bar, the package showing it was the same as you had offered him weeks earlier.

“Hey, there, Oscar!” Lewis greeted him, “if you don’t mind me asking. Where did you get this?” He pointed to the little package in his hand.

“Oh, Lando’s new PT! She’s covering for Jon as he’ll be a few weeks on paternity leave.”

“Oh, is she here?”

“At McLaren, yes.”

Lewis nodded, going straight there, not bothering with explaining why he was there just walking in. He found you in a small room with Lando. You were guiding him through a stretching session with a silicone stretching. Lando was telling you something and you were laughing, a hand on his shoulder as Lando pulled his arms in and out.

“-no way you said that! Poor thing, she must have been scared!” You said, then you two laughed.

You were looking healthier than the last few times he had seen you. You looked like you had been sleeping well, and your hair was pretty, and you were wearing make up.

As Lewis approached, and you noticed his presence, you stopped laughing, face getting serious and focused on Lando.

“Oh, hey man!” Lando greeted him, smiley and unaware of the thing between you two.

“Hi. Y/N, can I talk to you? I just need one minute then I’ll leave you alone.”

You scoffed but didn’t look at him, and Lando looked from your face to Lewis’ confused with the tension suddenly so thick he would be able to cut it with a knife.

“Y/N, can you just-”

“You’re all good, Lando. Tomorrow we do another session an hour before Free Practice, and then a stretching session between FP1 and FP2.”

Lando nodded, unsure of what to do so he just watched as you turned away and packed your bag, leaving with long strides through the door. 

“Mate, I don’t know what the fuck you did, because I’ve never seen her be mean ever since I met her. Good luck, though, seems like you need it.” Lando said, leaving to the opposite side.

Lewis muttered “fuck” before going after you. He found you outside the motorhome, and ran up to block your path, but he miscalculated and you ended up running straight into him.

“What the fuck? Dude, just leave me alone!” You tried walking past him but he blocked you again.

“Please, I’m so sorry! Really, I am, I was such a dick to you and you didn’t deserve any of that.”

You didn’t look at his eyes, adjusting your bag as you sighed.

“I just- I don’t understand why you are doing this. I’m no one, I’m nothing. Just go on about your life.”

“No, no- You’re not nothing. I’m really sorry for the way I treated you when all you offered me was kindness.”

“Fine! Ok.” you muttered, seemingly exhausted, “Can I go now?”

He knew you didn’t actually forgive him, so he just let you go because he didn’t want to pressure you into something you were visibly not ready for. It didn’t mean he would give up, just that he needed a different approach.

III.

Lewis managed to find out that you’d stay a few more weeks working with Lando, so he arranged a well crafted plan to have you listen to him.

Desperate times asked for desperate measures.

So he managed to talk Lando into letting him drive you to the track that weekend, you two would have time to talk on the drive. He waited behind the wheel watching as you went to the backseat to leave your bags, then you opened the passenger door, smiling and chatting. But you stopped smiling as soon as you sat down and noticed him.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, sounding more annoyed than angry.

“I’m your ride to the track today.”

“I’d rather not,” you muttered, removing the seat belt you had just put on.

“There’s no one else to take you there, please, just let us go,” he asked softly. You sighed, putting on the seat belt again and he smiled reaching the cup holder and offering you a cup of coffee, “got you a coffee.”

“Thanks,” you took it begrudgingly, but as you took a sip, you noticed it was your favorite, “how do you know I like this coffee?”

“You told me, during one of our sessions.”

“I thought you weren’t listening to a single word I said,” you scoffed, almost disdainful. He took it, because taking your anger was little compared to what he did to you.

“I listened to you.”

“Weird way of showing, then.”

You stared at the road he was softly driving. You didn’t like his company, that much was clear, but he was on a mission, and he would be damned if he wasn’t going to properly apologize. 

“I don’t even know why you treated me like trash,” you muttered suddenly, sniffling like you were trying to contain the tears, “just- I was so happy, you know? I’ve always been a fan of Formula 1, watched it growing up and everything. Then I get here all happy to achieve the greatest dream and I just get treated like shit from day one. I tried to be funny, I tried to be kind, I tried to be silent, and none of it worked. I don’t understand what you want from me now! I’m a person too, ok? I get sad and frustrated, and I have my own problems, but I don’t go around making everyone else’s lives shit just because I’m mad!”

“Yes, you are right. I treated you like shit when you never deserved it. I really regret it, for what it's worth,” He sighed, looking at you for a moment before focusing on the road, “my life was shit. I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth. I was just coming out of a relationship that I thought meant a lot to me, and I just lost Angela, who is one of my closest friends, and I was on the verge of losing my seat. It felt like everything was going wrong for a few weeks.”

That made you pause, turning to stare at him.

“What do you mean, losing your seat?” You sounded genuinely curious, and even a little worried.

“The negotiations for a new contract weren’t going ahead, and I was really worried Mercedes was going to get rid of me.”

“But you’re like- one of the GOATs! Why would they lose you?” Now you sounded exasperated, like you couldn't believe that. 

“Well, now everything is alright and signed, but it felt like I was really at risk back then.”

You stayed silent for a few minutes, mulling over his words, trying to wrap your head around his excuses. You were thoughtful the rest of the drive, until Lewis pulled up in a parking lot at the track. Finally, you nodded to yourself.

“I forgive you, Lewis. Just- Don’t do that to anyone ever again, it’s not cool,” you said, unlocking the seat belt, “thank you for the ride and for the effort in apologizing. Goodbye, Lewis.”

You took your bags from the backseat and left after waving at him again. It felt like a closed chapter to you, and you could bury whatever resentment you felt towards him. It was freeing in a way.

IV.

Lewis didn’t see you for a couple more race weeks, despite casually walking in front of McLaren’s garage and hospitality. He couldn’t catch a glimpse of you and he genuinely worried that your last goodbye was definitive.

Fortunately he saw you again late at night after a race. Almost everyone had left already, and Lewis had a long debriefing meeting with his team, so it was sheer luck to find you on the way to the parking lot, where you were standing against the wall, hugging yourself under a big coat and holding your bags. You seem worried and unwell.

“Hey,” he said, trying to sound like he wasn’t ecstatic to see you again, “are you ok?”

“Yeah, um- I missed my ride back to the hotel, so I’m trying for an uber or something,” you said, but Lewis unnoticed how you were pale and your lips looked dry.

“Are you sure you’re ok? You look like you’re about to pass out.” He pointed, and you breathed in, slowly. You felt very, very cold, with shivers up your body that you miserably trying to contain.

“I’ve got a little fever,” you mentioned, finally. Lewis raised his hand and touched your forehead, feeling it way more warm than a little fever.

“Little fever? You’re burning!” He exclaimed, putting his own Mercedes coat over you, then taking your bags and putting them over his shoulder, “Come on, I’ll give you a ride back.”

“You don’t have to, really-”

“I’m not leaving you here in the late hours of the night while having a fever! Now, come on!”

He held your forearm, worried you’d stumble and fall or something. With a big umbrella to face the rain, he guided you to his car, where a driver was waiting. The two of you sat on the backseat as Lewis instructed the driver to take you to the hotel.

“Should we take you to see a doctor or something?” Lewis asked.

“No, don’t worry, I already took an antipyretic. It should work soon.”

Back in the hotel, Lewis accompanied you up to your room even when you wanted to refuse, but he said he was worried, and it felt honest, so you let him take you up. He didn’t let you say anything as he pushed the door of your room and walked you inside.

“Are you still feeling cold?” He asked.

“Yes,” you put your bags away, but you watched as Lewis went into your luggage, “um- excuse me?” you crossed your arms, annoyed at him going through your things.

“Change into this, it will keep you warm,” he tossed you a sweater and matching pants, “I’ll ask room service for soup, so you can warm up.”

Huffing, you went into the bathroom and changed, glad because you were in fact a little bit warmer. You wore socks for the cold and got into bed, where Lewis helped tuck you in, pulling the duvet tight around you.

“Why are you doing all this? We’re just strangers, Lewis.” You shook your head, watching as he walked around the bed and sat beside you over the duvet.

“We’re not strangers, and I wanted to help,” he shrugged.

“We are strangers, we know nothing about each other,” you muttered.

“Well, I’m Lewis, my favorite color is purple and I have a dog named Roscoe,” he said which made you chuckle a little, “there, not strangers anymore.”

“Well, I’m Y/N, my favorite color is yellow and I don’t have a pet yet, but hopefully soon.”

Lewis eyed you carefully.

“I know you’re with McLaren on a temporary contract, so I was wondering if you’d be willing to come back to Mercedes after that,” he said, slowly. You sighed, shaking your head.

“I won’t go back, Lewis.” You said softly, for him to know you weren’t angry anymore, but the world had spun, life went on…

“But- Ellie said you were such a big fan! It’s ok if you don’t want to work with me anymore, I’ll understand. But I don’t think it’s fair that you lose your chance in such a big dream because of an asshole like me!”

“There are always other dreams to have, Lewis. When a door closes, others may open,” you untucked your arm so you could hold his arm in comfort. He held your hand, and when he felt your cold hand, he rubbed it softly, to warm you up.

“It’s not fair-”

“Lewis, I’m moving to Madrid in a few weeks.”

He stopped, visibly deflated hearing your words.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve never-”

“Lewis, it’s not because of you,” you pushed the duvet, freeing yourself so you could sit up beside him, backs to the headboard, “I got an amazing offer from Real Madrid. I’m gonna join their PT team.”

“Oh.”

His stomach dropped once again, thinking that life would lead you two different paths, new future, new plans, and Lewis won’t even be able to make it up to you through time as he was hoping for. Lewis expected that, with you coming back to Mercedes, he would have time to apologize with actions, more than just words.

“They’re my favorite football team, and I’ve always dreamed of getting there,” when you noticed how down he was with the news of your departure, you pressed his hand a bit more, “I told you there are many dreams to achieve.”

“You wouldn’t have to worry about it if I hadn’t been so-”

“That’s enough, Lewis, it has nothing to do with you. This is my choice, something that I also dreamed of. It’s not the end of the world. If anything, there are lessons in what we went through.”

He wanted to ask you to stay, to give him and the Mercedes dream one more chance, but he knew it would be selfish of him to ask that. And he wasn’t willing to be selfish with you anymore. He would only have maybe a few more weeks with you, that he intended to nurture a friendship with you.

When your soup arrived, he stayed and watched you eat, and you thanked him profusely as the meds started working and you felt the fever dissipating.

V.

Lewis ended up going back to McLaren to find you all the time. Sometimes he brought a coffee for you, some other times he just wanted to invite you to lunch, or he wanted a protein bar, and after almost two weeks of that, his excuses ran dry and he only said he wanted to check on you. and he had been checking on you for a couple more weeks now.

“So…” Lando muttered with a knowing smirk, “you and Lewis, uh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, as you spotted Lando from behind, analyzing his squats.

“You went from hating him to becoming his friend pretty quickly,” Lando pointed.

“And…?”

“I don’t know but he’s here all the time to see you.”

“Nah, he’s just passing by.”

Lando let go of teasing you and switched topics to talk about something else for the remainder of your session. After you finished and Lando went for the post race debrief, you were getting ready to leave when Lewis found you again.

“What do you want?” You squinted your eyes at him. Lando’s teasing voice still in your head.

“Moody, are we?” Lewis joked, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

“Lewis.”

“Fine, fine! I’m taking you to dinner later today, ok?”

“Are you asking me out or demanding?” You frowned, pretending to be moody.

“I’m inviting you and implying I’m not taking no for an answer,” He winked.

“Lewis, I don’t think we-”

“Think of it as a farewell, celebratory dinner, yes? You’re leaving so soon to Madrid! Pretty please?” He joined both hands like he was begging.

“Fine. Stop pouting.” You rolled your eyes and he giggled, before leaving.

He texted you two hours later saying he was coming to pick you up. You dressed cozy and comfortable, since it was absolutely not a date. He texted you to let you know he was downstairs when you were finishing with your hair. As soon as you got in the car, you checked Lewis’ outfit.

“Is this ok?” You asked, pointing at yourself.

“It’s perfect.”

Lewis drove for forty minutes to the next town over. In the end, he took you to a cozy restaurant, small, a little cramped but so familial and cozy. You two sat in a corner booth, far from the windows. You went over the menu as Lewis explained that this place’s food tasted homemade and they also had vegan options, so he always went there whenever he was in that part of Italy.

You told Lewis everything about your move, how you had found a great apartment close to work, how you had enrolled in Spanish classes to start a month after your arrival, and everything.

After a hearty meal and chatting a lot, you two decided to go for a walk to eat some ice cream. The air was windy but not very cold, so you just walked side by side a little late at night.

“Are you sure nobody will see us?” You looked around to see if anyone had recognised him or had taken pictures.

“Yes, it’s very discreet in this part of town. Besides, it’s a little late, so not many people are around.”

“This is a very good gelato, Lewis! Thanks for taking me out today.” You muttered as the two of you walked around a big, dark park. You stood under a lamp post, finishing the last of your ice cream.

“How are you feeling about Madrid?” He asked you, looking interested.

“Nervous. Excited. I don’t know.” You whispered, smiling, you held the lamp post and let it take your weight as you flung around, all smiley because of the bit of wine you had at the restaurant, “It’s like a new adventure. You know when you’re about to do something that might be risky but gratifying? You’re scared but you have to-”

As you completed a full 360 around the lamp post, you were met with Lewis walking up to you and kissing you. He pressed his lips to yours, firm but tender, and it took you a while to assimilate what was happening. You held his coat and pushed him away only enough to break the kiss. The lime gelato kiss that had your stomach full of butterflies, and your heart beating almost out of its cage.

“Lewis-” you shook your head, still confused.

“Sorry, I- I just couldn’t pass on the opportunity,” he sighed and his breath fanned your cheek.

“We shouldn’t,”

“Why not?” He raised one hand to cradle your face, his thumb running your cheek.

“Because we started too messy. And- and I’m leaving soon. We don’t need to complicate things.”

You whispered, still not pulling away fully. You wanted it, so bad. But you knew you couldn’t get tangled in a messy situationship right before leaving. He was tempting, but you weren’t willing to risk whatever time was left of your silly little friendship.

So you took a step back. Still, you took his hand in yours, letting his warmth engulf you.

“Sorry,” he cleared his throat, but you just smiled at him, seeing how he was memorizing your face, and how your eyes were shining bright for him.

“It’s ok. Just, wrong place and wrong time, right?”

He gulped, nodding.

You didn’t kiss again, but Lewis held your hand the whole drive back to Monza.

Understandably, Lewis didn’t come back for your last week at McLaren. Despite being a little hurt about his absence, it didn’t really upset you, deep down you knew that it was better like this. The distance would make the goodbye easier for the man who wormed his way into your life. The whole team at McLaren gave you a farewell cake, which was sweet considering you were just a temporary hire.

You had tears in your eyes saying goodbye to the team and to the formula 1 track.

After that, you went back to London to finish packing, and shipping a few of your furniture and belongings. The dinner with your family and closest friends was filled with tears, and you finally caught up with Angela, explaining everything that had happened.

When the day came, your parents and siblings took you to the airport and you said goodbye with teary eyes and a heavy heart.

You were about to board when a sudden commotion caught your attention, and from between the crowd Lewis Hamilton emerged, running towards you as if he were in a marathon. Confused and shocked, you waited for him to get closer, and as soon as he stopped in front of you, he held your face with both hands and pulled you in a kiss. After two seconds, you returned the kiss, deepening it by opening your lips. He devoured you for a couple more seconds, before pulling away when you were both panting.

“Lewis? What the fuck?”

“This doesn’t have to be a goodbye, right? We can- I don’t know, we can figure it out,” He muttered, face close to you.

“Lewis,” you hesitated, “I’m moving away. We’ll spend most of out time in different time zones-”

“Wouldn’t you like to try? It’s better to try than spend our lives haunted by what ifs” His argument was convincing. And the fact that he was just centimeters from your face, and the fact that you had just kissed and his cologne was divine… Very tempting.

“Lewis, the next time you cause a scene in front of an entire airport, I’m killing you,” you whispered, pecking his lips once more as the crowd dissipated of people boarding the plane.

“I wanted it to be memorable, like a romcom.”

“You’re annoying, that’s what you are. You’re lucky you’re handsome” You rolled your eyes, but Lewis could still see the big smile on your face, eyes glinting.

“Is that a yes to my question?”

“One date, Hamilton. And we’ll see where it will go from that” You smiled, pushing his chest, taking a step back.

“I’m going to Madrid as soon as the triple header is over,” He promised, pulling you close again by the waist.

“You better! I don’t know, maybe I will meet a handsome Spaniard,” You joked, playing hard to get. You closed the distance so you could whisper in his ear, “You better work if you want any prize, pretty boy.”

He gasped at your seductive words, and you pushed him away. He smiled at you. Pulling one of his necklaces, he put it around your neck, a pearl one, very beautiful. The airport called all the passengers for the flight.

“A promise. Yeah?” He said, holding the necklace softly.

“Yeah. See you soon?” You nodded.

“See you soon.”

He watched as you walked away, and before boarding, you turned around and blew him a kiss. He laughed, pretending it hit him right over his heart.

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