#I had to get creative with writing some parts so I wasn't saying clouds and stars over and over

[inthemiddleofmae]

cloud nine - ross macdonald x fem!reader

a/n - my creative writing skills start and end with gcse english and that was several years ago. so please go easy on me and i’m open to feedback! i’ve been obsessed with ross for quite some time now so thanks to all the amazing ross writers that inspired me to write this!! mwah xx

word count: 1.2k?

8:04 pm.

Stockholm (STO) to London (LHR)

ross was tired. the tour had been going on for a long while, but it wasn't over yet. despite the extra space and comfort that first-class seats provided, he struggled to settle in and find a comfortable place to sleep on the plane. it took only his discomfort and the sounds of his closest friends and bandmates having the time of their lives next to him to believe that this would be one of the worst flights of his life.

unbeknownst to him, his future wife was also on this flight.

she was as equally tired as he was. but despite her exhaustion, she moved gracefully through the dim, blue-lit first-class cabin, tending to the passengers' needs. she couldn't help but notice ross. their eyes met briefly, and a spark of recognition flickered between them. ross' body was now filled with warmth, replacing all his previous discomfort.

"hi, good evening! is there anything I can get you?" y/n said in ross' direction, too shy to make eye contact with him.

matty, sitting next to ross, moved forward and made eye contact with her. "can I just get some water with ice? what about you ross?"

realising the attention was back on him, he stopped staring at the gorgeous woman in front of him and turned to matty. “maybe a tea or something hot? i’m exhausted and just want to get to bed.”

hearing his discomfort in his voice, she replied “i can also get you some extra pillows if you’d like? and maybe some earplugs too?”

he turned back to her, nodded, and smiled. “no-yeah, that would be great, thanks.”

she smiled back, her heart rate slowly speeding up. “no worries! i know how difficult it can be to fall asleep on a plane - i’ll um…get your things and be back soon.”

ross watched her as she walked away. she returned her gaze to him and blushed when she realised he was also looking at her. matty observed him as ross fell completely in love with her. "she's cute, isn't she?" matty said.

ross scoffed and rolled his eyes at his best friend, and in an effort to be subtle, replied only “sure."

she reappeared a short while later, a trolley loaded with everything in front of her. she passed matty a glass cup with ice and a bottle of water, then handed ross his hot tea, two pillows, and some neon orange air plugs - their hands slowly touching whilst she did so. something that was barely intimate had become an extremely romantic gesture, leaving the two of them flustered.

ross managed to whisper a “thanks” as their hands slowly parted. she let out a small breath - an attempt at a laugh, and shook her head as if to say no problem. ross smiled then, and she smiled back, before slowly turning away to tend to other passengers.

9:35 pm.

with less than an hour left on the flight, ross awoke to find the plane still dim and blue, but this time it was quiet, with matty asleep next to him. he stretched his arms and legs before making his way to the bathroom which he barely fit into. ross opened the door when he was done, unintentionally colliding with y/n.

“ow!”

“fuck, i’m so sorry-”

y/n winced in pain for a second or two before replying, a reassuring smile on her face.

“it’s okay, it happens more times than you would think” she said with a soft laugh, gently rubbing the part of her arm that hit the door.

“you’re okay though?” ross replied. his caring instincts caused him to put his hand on top of hers. she smiled sweetly in appreciation of the gesture, nodding her head slightly. he smiled back, dropping his hand.

she copied him, dropping her hands also and taking a deep breath. “how was your sleep? last time i went by you and your friend were knocked out.”

ross nodded and said “not too bad,” stretching once again. “the best i could get on a plane. thanks to you.”

ross watched as her tired eyes squinted and her lips rose up into a smile. “i’m glad I could help. i hate sleeping on planes and I’m on them all the time.”

"well, you probably shouldn't be sleeping on the job." ross joked. she playfully rolled her eyes and let out a giggle that made ross fall almost completely in love with her.

“honestly, when you’re like me - on tour and travelling all the time, you learn to take advantage of any time you have to sleep,” he said with a breathy laugh.

“i bet- my sister is a huge fan of you guys, has posters in her room and everything”

“what about you?”

“i know a couple of songs. but not enough to call myself a fan. fuck i’m so sorry i can’t even remember your name. this is so embarrassing” she puts her hands over her face and laughs in embarrassment.

he laughed loudly and moved an inch towards her, the lack of space between them somehow providing her with comfort. “it’s ok, i can’t remember my own name half the time. it’s ross.”

“ross.” she nods, repeating his name to herself over and over in her head to ensure she never forgot it. “i’m y/n.”

“y/n.” he smiled. “well y/n i think i’m going to go back to my seat and stop pestering you.”

with a slight raise of her eyebrows, she laughed, “you’re not pestering me - but yes, you should get some more sleep before the plane lands.”

“okay.” with a small, awkward wave and a smile still on his face, ross turns around to return to his seat.

10:15pm.

"thank you for flying with us, have a good night!" y/n said alongside her fellow flight attendants as she waved the last of the passengers off the plane - the smile she had put on began to fade as each one left. the disappointment settled on her that she had missed the chance to form a relationship with a man she was extremely attracted to. just as she began walking back to the front of the plane, a deep voice slightly startled her.

"hey!"

"ross - i didn't realise you were still on the plane, i thought i'd missed you. is everything okay - have you lost something?" y/n replied, confused but ultimately relieved.

“no no, i'm all good,” after a short pause to compose his thoughts, he resumed, “i just think i’d be making a huge mistake if i didn’t tell you that I really fancy you, to be honest” he breathes out, a worried yet hopeful look on his face.

several seconds pass as she came to terms with what was just said before she let out a cheeky smile and quietly replied, “i’d have to agree with you there.”

“i umm…don’t know the regulations around this sort of thing - i’ve never done this before. but would you like to go for a drink? or a coffee? i bet you’re as tired as i am if not more, but if you’re not up for it or you can't then that’s fine and i’m sorry for asking-”

“ross, calm down,” she laughed. glancing over her shoulder, she saw her co-workers were all distracted, focused on their own tasks.

she turned back to ross, a slight sway in her movements. with the slight bite of her lip, she then says, "i am really fucking tired, but i would also really like to get a drink with you. tonight is fine if you can wait for me."

"i'd be more than happy to wait for you."

[weiwuxianismybae]

My fandom pet peeves

Lan Wangji’s dislike of Jiang Wanyin

So, I dived back into the world of fanfiction and was quickly reminded of all the fanon things I hate. Starting with Lan Wangji’s unreasonable dislike of Jiang Cheng. In order to promote "Wei Wuxian's little brother Jiang Cheng", Lan Wangji's very good reasons to hate Jiang Cheng are reduced to some petty, stupid bs like "He [LWJ] didn't like how often Jiang Cheng hit Wei Wuxian." And later on we get this gem: "After some time LWJ understood that violence is JC's way of showing affection." Like, wtf? If my younger sibling (and I have one) showed their affection through violence, I wouldn't see it as love, but as abuse, 'cause that's what it is. And I'm not talking about the normal sibling fighting because that's not what Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng's relationship is. I mean, just reread the Cloud Recesses Study arc. The only thing Jiang Cheng seems to know is how to belittle and criticise Wei Wuxian. I'm not gonna lie, I found some of the remarks quite funny (I'm a passive aggressive bitch myself), but when that's the only thing that comes out of Jiang Cheng's mouth, it really starts to eat at you. I deeply respect Wei Wuxian's ability to not take it seriously. And when Lan Wangji’s actual grievances with Jiang Cheng are stated, we get the "but he [JC] still loved his brother" nonsense. Lan Wangji’s real reasons to dislike Jiang Cheng are as follows: abandoning Wei Wuxian, being the prime reason and catalyst of Wei Wuxian's death, spreading hateful rumours about Wei Wuxian (who else could have been the source of "WWX is responsible for Jiang Clan's massacre" if not the only surviver, besides Wei Wuxian, of the said massacre?), and hunting down the so-called demonic cultivators because "what if that's actually Wei Wuxian." I commend Lan Wangji’s restraint, because if it had been me, I would have long since punched that guy in the nose. And I absolutely love Lan Wangji’s attitude of "I won't look at you; I won't speak to you. Sizhui, you may speak on my behave."

"Lans only love once"

Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets toothache whenever I read this. When I came across it for the first time, I didn’t think much of it. Like, at first, I thought it was cute, but then it started grinding on my nerves. Why? Because it diminishes Lan Wangji’s love, trust and devotion to Wei Wuxian to a mere fate thing that is beyond your control. He is already being reduced to some block of ice (by the mob in mdzs and the fandom), and now you also simplify such an important part to his character. Like, where did this even come from? Yes, we have the famous Lan "I will leave this world, because my love is no longer in it" An and Lan Wangji, but that's it when it comes to die-hard romantics in the Lan Clan. The story of Qingheng-jun and Madam Lan is not really romantic (I'm not gonna speculate on what there was and wasn't between them because Lan Xichen telling Wei Wuxian about his parents had a different purpose, namely, to esteblish Lan Wangji as someone who doesn't just listen to what his elders have to say, but as someone who seeks to understand and then judge the reasoning by his own moral beliefs). And that's it. So where is "Lans only love once" coming from??

So why did I write all of this? Well, I'm just tired of seeing this over and over again. Aren't we all so creative? Come up with new head-canons (so that I have more things to criticise /jk) or stick to canon characteristics. Please.

[honeybewrites]

Find the Word Tag 2

Thank you @bookish-karina for the tag!! Part 1 is here.

My words: old, new, borrowed, blue

Most of these are once again from EoWC.

CW: mention of injury

Old: Echoes of War Chronicles, Book 1 Colliding Stars

CW: none

The door to the cube opened. Master Gerd walked in, followed by a man. He was tall. Well built. Not as old as Master Gerd, but at least middle aged. Suntanned skin, white and gray shoulder length hair. A goatee completed the look. He didn’t wear the standard Mors black suit, but his clothes were certainly expensive and protective. The intricate knife on his belt and bulging bag with the Mirralian government insignia told her he was a respectable figure. One that was well above herself. But his eyes… they were like brewing storm clouds. Dark, dark gray, with a hint of white lightening when the light hit them right. Only there was no ferocity in them. They were gentle. Like soft rain in early spring. It was odd, to see that gentleness in a man’s eyes. What was more strange, was the fact he smiled upon entering the room. One that reached his eyes. Perhaps there was something wrong with him. What man would smile upon seeing her? Other than a perverted one she was tasked with seducing. Though his smile didn’t look like a perverted one.

New: Echoes of War Chronicles, book 1 Colliding Stars (maybe, could be cut)

CW: none

Her hand was on her gun before she realized what the ringing sound was. It didn’t ease her tension. There was only one person who would call her.  She let out a breath, then answered the comm. “Dei?” “Why are you speaking Mirtem?” Master Gerd asked sharply. She knew he hated her mother tongue and the accent it gave her. It was the only language she could guarantee Rage wouldn't know. He would wake up while she was talking knowing her luck. “People,” she lied. It was quick, easy on her lips. “Diverse crowd. Thought was safest.” Master Gerd huffed, but did not condemn her any further. Surprising. And suspicious. “Why is the news advertising a terrorist attack? Your target was Hueland. One target. How could a single pilot best you?” She had expected the questions. There was only so much she could do. Everything was far too public. She’d had to get creative. Perhaps it got a little out of hand, but what was done was done. “Oraniz. And… some other. Knew too much about techniques. Was chaos.” She had become more skilled at lying to her Master. It still twisted her gut with anxiety every time. There was always the risk of him finding out what she’d done. That she’d lied. She’d be lucky to only receive a lashing for it.

Borrowed: Echoes of War Chronicles, book???

CW: mention of injury

Rage would let her borrow some healing supplies, right? Yeah. He wouldn’t mind. She didn’t want to bleed all over his things anyway. She should probably still ask him. But he was busy with... something. She wasn't actually sure what Master Gerd had him doing. He probably wouldn't be very happy she had let herself into his house like this, or that she was making a mess. She would apologize for it. Profusely. And she'd clean up her mess. He was always saying she needed to tell him when she was injured... surely it would be okay. She could handle a few injuries on her own. She always did before he was assigned to her.

Blue: Legend of the Ancients, book???

CW: none

“Big giant book with worn brown leather cover? Yellowing pages? Bright blue inscription on the cover? The thing is like three times the size of a normal book? Come on, how can you miss that kind of book?” “Are… are you talking about the Ancient writings?” Faralt asked, eyebrows rising an impressive amount. “I guess." She shrugged. "They’re written in an old language so translation is rough and slow, but they go into pretty good detail on how the trials came about and how they work. I’ve only gotten like a forth of the way through it.” “You can read the Lost Language?” Ryuk asked. He almost sounded a tiny bit impressed. “I wouldn’t call it read exactly. More like trying to read something you can’t quite make out but a few words here and there. Like filling in the blanks. It’s similar to old Tie’ke and several words are shared between the two languages. The grammar structure is a lot more similar to Mortem though.”

Tagging @orions-quill @the-golden-comet @fractured-shield and anyone else who wants to hop on!!

Your words: Bold, Fire, Survivor, Chase

[jbeespoke]

This pic is so trash, bro...

A friend of mine and I challenged each other to take at least one pic a day and write about it. There are no limits. No restrictions. Take a pic and post it...

So boom - my NYE and New Year's Day was interesting. To be honest, I' m not exactly sure how I feel about it, but either way, I decided that I was going to be productive today. I was going to control everything that I could control.

I got up. I prayed. I sat on my couch - hoping for some down time before I started tackling my tasks for the day.

As I sat on my couch, the sun seemed to shine so bright through my window. I looked out, and to my surprise, it actually wasn't as bright as it seemed. There were quite a few clouds, but the sun was putting up a fight.

I saw the sun for the first time in months.

And then it hit me - "this would be the perfect first post for the daily challenge"

I got up. Threw on a pair of raw denims, a yellow hoodie, a tartan, Sherpa-lined flannel, a pair of Boston's and went outside!

I knew that I wouldn’t have a great angle from where I was at, so I walked to the corner so that my pic could tell a better story. Once I hit the corner, all I could think of was that Jay line from "God Did":

Judge it how you judge it, say we goin' corporate Nah, we just corner boys with the corner office

I had the perfect caption!

I was standing on the corner, on the first day of the year, breathing, looking at the sun peak through the clouds. What an amazing sign from God.

"Oh what a feeling"

I was so hype lol. I walked to the other corner and attempted another "artsy" pic. That pic was so trash, bro...

I had no idea any of these pics were so trash at the time of taking them, btw. Each time, after taking the pic, you couldn't tell me I wasn't Jamel Shabazz.

Once I got inside and looked at the pics, I realized that these pics were so trash, bro.

Then God reminded me of the greatness that occurred because of these "trash" pics:

I was forced to go outside. That's a good thing. I spent way too many consecutive days inside, without getting fresh air in 2023. Mod ting, bruv

It was like going to the gym. By using that part of my brain, I am strengthening and toning my creativity muscles

I was able to clear some mental space - which made room for the completion of some incomplete tasks

I was able to put action to my prayer. Walking back, I saw so much garbage on the street and on the sidewalk in the surrounding area of where I stay. At first, I walked right past it. But it didn't sit right with me. For the longest time, I've been praying about our communities and have been complaining about how we treat our own. "Our" being the black community. There's no reason why the areas in which we live have to look run down. Or a place where it's acceptable for trash to be left. But, I also can't be praying about it, wanting everyone else to do better, and I not take the necessary steps to make sure my community is clean. So I swept up the random corn on the cob, the Popeyes and cupcake boxes, and all the rest of the random trash that was left behind from the city workers. I didn't clean everything and I didn't go very far outside of my immediate area, but it was a start. Hopefully it's something that I can continue, and hopefully someone will see and do the same

Character. I was able to add more wear and tear to my raw denims and birks lol

When I feel like I'm not being heard, I sometimes forget to hear myself. Today, because of these trash pics, I was able to start the process of EQ-ing my voice. I'm behind the mixing board of my life. Turning a lot of other things down. Turning me up.

Welcome to the experience.

Thank You God for another day. Thanks for allowing me to see 2024. Thanks for not only the sun, but the SON. Thank You for hearing me when I didn't hear myself - You're fighting for me.

This was my accountability post. I have no idea what the format is going to be in the upcoming posts and I'm not going to think about it. This is just how I felt today.

I started. I can't stop now.

written from my corner office

[the-original-skipps]

Fluffy Alphabet A-Z

Sano Manjiro aka Mikey

Note: Thank you so much for 100+ followers. I wouldn't have been able to get his far without your support. I'm super overjoyed and glad that you guys take the time to read my writing. I love you all very much as promised I hope you enjoy the fluffy alphabet! 💗

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

> Mikey likes to go for rides on his CB205T and he likes to bring you along. He just loves the feeling of the wind passing and your presence behind him. Maybe sharing some snacks while you both watch the sunset or the starry night sky, talking about random things. He just generally likes being around you even if you're both just sitting in silence.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

> He admires your determination and strong will. Since Mikey is mentally weak, he admires those traits in other people. No matter what you'd always be there to scold him or comfort him. It reminds him of his older brother.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

> Mikey instantly knows if you're feeling down, he just senses it. He'll bring you somewhere where they could both be alone maybe a park or he'll drive somewhere and sit you down. Mikey won't force you to tell him what's wrong but if you do he'll be listening intently. He's not the best at comforting people but makes sure to let you know that he's here for you.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

> Now this is a hard topic to answer. Mikey has pictured a future with his s/o, living in peace after all the rush during his teenage years. However, he doesn't see it happening because he knows it's best if he keeps his s/o away from him in the future.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

> I'd say he's both but mostly on the passive side. He lets you take the lead since he doesn't know much about being in a relationship. He'll be given advice and teased by his close friends but he'll keep their words in mind.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

> Mikey is pretty stubborn and doesn't like losing. If it's a petty harmless arguement, if he's wrong then he'll muttering an apology to you and completely forget about it. It's difficult to get into a serious argument with him unless it's something concerning him or Toman. Say the things he needs to hear even if himself doesn't agree with you. Then he'll leave to give himself space and think about things. Be patient with him because eventually he'll come around.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

> Mikey is very grateful for you being by his side even though he thinks he doesn't deserve it. He appreciates every gesture you do for him from the big things and to the little things such as making him lunch or fixing his hair or just being by his side when he feels he's losing himself.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

> Mikey doesn't hide things, if you ask him something he will directly answer you. He has no trouble talking about a past event since it already happened. Even though he doesn't want you getting involved with Toman, he still tells you about how they're doing or what they're up to. The only things he wouldn't share are his true feelings and his dark impulsivities since he doesn't want to scare you.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

> Just by being by Mikey's side you are a positive influence on him. It will take a long time but little by little he tries to open up about his true feelings and tries to rely on you more. Everytime you sense he's distancing himself, you would have to drag him back and knock some sense into him.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

> Mikey is definitely the type to get jealous easily and his childish tendencies tend to come out. If he sees you getting too friendly with someone he'll keep staring until he's had enough and say "(Y/N) is mine, hmph!" With a cute pout on his face. Be sure to coddle him afterwards because he might give you the silent treatment.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

> Mikey has no experience whatsoever. He has no idea how kisses work. It'll be super rare to get a kiss from Mikey since he's not used to being affectionate. If you're lucky he'll peck you on your cheek or kiss your hands occasionally. Your first kiss with him wasn't planned. Both of you were alone and you were just admiring him as he talked and pressed a light kiss on his lips. He was instantly shocked by what you did as he traces over his lips with his fingers but inside he's feeling all warm. He never knew kisses from you would have this kind of affect on him.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

> It took long time for Mikey to realize that what he felt towards you was more than just friendship. He confessed this to Draken and he replied "huh, obviously you like them you idiot. Hurry up and go tell them." In which Mikey replies by telling Draken to do the same for Emma. It happened when he came to pick you up from school one day on his motorcycle and brought you to the riverside. "I finally understand what I feel, (Y/N). I like you... You don't have to give me an answer right away, I'll wait however long it takes..."

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

> Another hard topic to answer. When Mikey fell for you he fell hard. As much as he wants to spend the rest of his life in peace with you, it won't happen. That is until he goes through "certain changes" and let's say he did. You'll be riding with him on his motorcycle on Christmas until he stops at a certain place. He'll start talking about his past and the times you've spent together. Then talking about how much he appreciates you and thanks you then pops the question. The wedding will be small and privately held with only people close to him and you are invited.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

> It is known that Mikey gives nicknames to those who are close to him. It depends on what your first name is. He'll most likely you use the first syllable of your name plus -chin, -cchi or -chy. Only when he's serious will he use your real name.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

> Honestly, it can be really hard to tell unless you really observe Mikey. You would notice he stares at you longer, or everytime your name pops up in a conversation he's interested. Draken is definitely the first the notice this change in Mikey and teases him for it, while Mikey denys it. The others will slowly start to notice this too. Especially, when he bought an extra taiyaki and gave it to you. Takemichy's jaw dropped at the scene.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

> Mikey won't be announcing to everyone that he has an s/o. However, if someone asks he'll answer honestly. I wouldn't use the word "brag" but he will say nice about you to others. For Mikey, intimate gestures such as kissing are only between the two of you. If someone catches the both of you, Mikey wouldn't be pleased.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

> You wouldn't have to worry about anyone trying to flirt with you or trying to hurt you not when Mikey's around. Mikey cares deeply about you and would give his life to protect you. You wouldn't have to worry about other people trying to flirt with Mikey either since you already have his heart, he'll simple brush them off. He's loyal.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

> As I have mentioned earlier, Mikey has no experience with relationships. You would have to teach him things. Still there will be moments that might seem simple to others but to you, you know it's a way Mikey shows his love for you. For example, draping his jacket over your shoulders or buying an extra snack so you could have some too. If he's not busy with Toman matters, he would want to spend his time with you.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

> Mikey would genuinely support your dreams and passions, telling you to never give up on them. He believes in you with his whole heart, and he knows you would be able to make your goals come true.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

> He would like to try things he never experienced before with you, like taking pictures at the photo booth or going shopping for matching keychains. That being said, what Mikey likes the most is the constant reassurance that you're here for him. Routines like going riding on his motorcycle or just talking with you, it what he like most. He's scared that one day you'd leave him so these mundane routines assures him.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

> You would think Mikey is the forgetful type but he actually pays attention to things. He'll notice you eyeing a certain item in a store or if you're lying to him. He genuinely cares about you and would like to know everything about you, even the shameful parts. Mikey has a hard time with emotions, he may not fully understand your troubles but he'll assure you that he'll be there for you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

> For Mikey to actually want to establish a relationship with someone. It means he sees you as an important person in his life. However, certain things would have to come before you such as his family and Toman. It is something you would have to understand when dating Mikey.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

> Whenever he looks like he's spacing off during Toman meetings while he is paying attention to what's happening his mind can't help but wander towards you. About what you're currently doing or if you're at home safely. Before he starts the engine of his bike, or has nothing to do he fiddles with the keychain on his keys. It's the matching keychain you both have.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

> Mikey is not known to be the most showy when it comes to showing his affections. It's the little things he does for only you, that shows how much he cares about you. Mikey secretly likes the affection you give him even if he denies it. It surprises him everytime you hug him or kiss him but he never stops you or tells you to stop. Just don't do it in front of Toman. Even if he doesn't want to, cuddle him as the big spoon and it'll make him really happy. Since he's so used to keeping a strong facade, cuddling with you gives him the impression that with you maybe he doesn't have to do that.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

> Mikey will still act as the strong charismatic leader of Toman, where nothing fazes him. He won't outwardly show that he misses you but you can tell by the way he fiddles with his matching keychain or stares off into the distance that he misses you. He might even unconsciously blurt a quiet "I miss (Y/N)...."

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

> Mikey is willing to give his life away to protect you. Just you being with him is dangerous enough who knows who might be out to get him and easiest way they can do that is by getting you. If your safely is at risk even he likes you he would have to break up with you, keep you away from the danger. Because he utmostly cares about your well being and if anything happens to you, it will destroy him.

[masthecles]

Team RWBY: My Take on Semblance Evolution

[a bout of self-indulgence]

We've seen a few instances of semblance evolution thus far in the series - Ren and Emerald recently leveled up, Ruby's is beginning to cross the line into molecular teleporter mechanics, and Weiss unlucked summons ages ago. I think a lot of us are expecting something a sort of Ren-like level up breakthrough for the titular team in general at some point (maybe except Weiss, but), and many may have theorized.

well, I have,

specifically for Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang, and I've had a lot of fun with it, imagining all of the related unlock scenes and action sequences set to instru-metal by Anup Sastry-

Anyway, I hope they're as fun to read as they were to write. I tried as I went to stay away from anime power level territory, but fun and character development took precedence. Hope those that see this don't mind a bit of, uh, fantastical indulgent creativity.

Under the break:

Ruby: Blinking and Imbuement

Weiss: "Tying Off" and Glyph Constructs (and the gray glyph)

Blake: Shadow Projection, Multiplied (and Hardened)

Yang: Chromatic Burn

Ruby: Blinking and Imbuement

Ruby's energy has always been directed forward for the benefit of those around her, and because sometimes what's behind is a little hard to deal with. Focus on the goal ahead, and on helping as many people as possible.

"Eyes on the prize," Yang would tell her with a warm hand on her shoulder when things were hurting but there wasn't time for a genuine heart-to-heart.

Her semblance reflects that energy - at its most basic state, it could make Ruby lighter, faster, get her where she needed to be and, over time, bring loved ones with her. But when experience and pressure had her parting, letting objects pass between her petals, and reforming with increasing speed, distance, and load, Ruby began to see new goals. Not just running forward, but hitting that desination quickly enough to leave time for looking back, assessing, and making a map for others still on the journey.

And for that, she'd see just how much flower petalling she could do.

As Ruby pushed her Semblance further and further, from speed to breaking down into a rapid cloud of particles and reassembling, the question began to come into focus: how much mass is negated? When does the movement slip into quantum territory? After Ruby dealt with her doubts and trepidations, and looked stalwartly toward the future with her family at her back, her momentum did just that.

In a puff and a pop of rose petals, Ruby can blink from one location to another as long as she can properly imagine the Aura expenditure and stopping point. To her, it's like moving 100 km/s to cross one meter. Her particles DO have to cross the distance, but the speed is just so intense relative to the distance that the effect is instant transmission. Blinking allows Ruby to actively support her team in chaotic engagements and quickly get a bird's-eye view of the battlefield. She can also quickly evacuate injured or endangered parties. As a natural evolution of her original semblance, the Aura drain is remarkably low, allowing for sustained use. However, her body and equipment's momentum is not conserved at the blinking point, so she still has to prepare strikes and other movements after teleportation, preventing Ruby from being an unstoppable one-woman army. Mostly.

In addition, similar to how Ruby is able to invite others with her during speeds and blinks, she learned that physical contact can also allow her to lightly pulse her semblance one-way into physical objects instead of "looping them in" for the usual group activity. This means she can make objects temporarily negate some of their mass, visually indicated by rose petals gently "dripping" off the object. Since structural integrity and function are not affected much, like Ruby's body during early use of her Semblance, this means objects like Crescent Rose and, say, personal vehicles like a motorcycle, can benefit from a significant speed boost without loss of function.

It’s not Jaune’s choice day to become a pancake, but that’s what tends to happen when your leg of the area scouting turns up a boulder gheist. He really hates gheists. 

As luck would have it, though, just before getting smushed forever, there’s a flash of petals and a sudden change of scenery and windspeed. Reeling, seeing red petals flee from the corners of his vision, and trying to get his bearings, he follows the familiar hand on his shoulder to Ruby Rose’s smiling face. 

“Uh, thanks,” he says with a weak laugh. “How did you see where I was?” 

“Oh, Jaunney-Boy, I see everything,” she lilts. 

“Please don’t call me that.” He glances around for the first time. “Where are… oh.” At the top of the massive cliff overlooking the forest. Of course. 

“Allow me,” Ruby says with a pat on his shoulder, and steps to the edge.

Ruby levels Crescent Rose in long rifle configuration downrange, and petals begin to fall from its casing and barrel. When the shot is fired, the slug leaves the barrel at only a fraction of its mass, enabling truly awesome speed; the projectile regains its full mass as it travels, but the momentum is conserved and it impacts its target with devastating force.

Weiss: "Tying Off" and Glyph Constructs

Weiss's glyphs have always been versatile tools, allowing for momentum boosts and negations (white and black glyphs, respectively) on the battlefield as well as being enhancers and combiners for intelligently deployed Dust. Being closely tied to tradition, however, has largely prevented Schnee Semblance users from truly pushing glyphs to their full potential. When Weiss first found herself working with Team RWBY at Beacon, she was briefly astounded at how quickly her abilities fell into the support role. Training with Winter for half her life had prepared her for fighting Grimm, her Grandfather's Armor (okay, armor gigas), and a combatant with identical abilities. Here, there were blazingly new and unique teammates with which to combine her fighting style and Semblance, and their own styles and Semblances to learn from.

Years of fighting in and controlling the battlefield for her new family, as well as breaking free of the traditional constraints that kept the Schnee Semblance in a jar on the shelf, helped Weiss to understand that she wasn't just an expert - she was a pioneer, and a pioneer with an excellent support system. Having always had a knack for experimentation (the Time Dilation dust glyph is something she's proud of to this day), Weiss was considering Aura regeneration one day when she had a startling revelation: if she consumed the small amount of aura needed to generate a white glyph, then held it there, she could watch her aura slowly regenerate back to full despite the glyph still being deployed.

With inspiration from Yang's use-it-when-you-need-it encapsuled energy, and Blake's impressively lengthening shadow-clone durations, Weiss began searching for ways to increase the duration of her glyphs without maintained focus. Not long after Ruby learned to "open" the loop of her semblance for one-way imbuement, Weiss learned to "close" the loop of glyph deployment: just how summons, initially created from Schnee aura, could move independently of their summoner, Weiss learned that she could "tie off" glyphs at their point of origin, making for much longer-lasting glyphs that didn't require supervision to stick around.

This constraint lifted allows Weiss to slowly modify the conditions of the battlefield to her advantage; black glyphs can begin to close in on an area, and white glyphs can become permanent launching pads and skating paths for both her and her team. Weiss can create glyph "traps" infused with Dust and, essentially, make movement hell for most combatants.

This turned out to be just the beginning of Weiss's breakthrough, however - the ability to create countless glyphs and tie them off inevitably lead to white and black glyphs being placed close together in an alternating stack ("Just to see what might happen," Weiss says), until she realized that they could overlap. When Weiss concentrated on a white and black glyph occupying the same space, the gray glyph was born.

Gray glyphs turn out to be unique in that they react to the world around them, not just the other way around. Their combination of momentum negation and enhancement creates a situation where mass that encounters it is both discouraged from and encouraged to movement. What is a "do not enter but move freely" is better known as a "physical object." Essentially, gray glyphs are tangible surfaces with glyph properties. This tangibility allows Weiss to generate glyphs that not only allow objects to touch them, but also allow them to embed in objects, as well as other gray glyphs. Though the use of gray glyphs, Weiss could theoretically attach a gray to one blade of a windmill, then attach a tied-off white glyph to the gray, and, well - you might see where this is going.

Glyph constructs are limited only by Weiss's imagination. With enough time and preparation, she can weave black and gray glyphs onto clothing and armor to boost defensibility (gray acts like a physical barrier, black slowing down fists and projectiles before impact), tie white glyphs into barrels of projectile weapons with precision embedded grays, and even make "skates" by tying white glyphs to the shoes of comrades. White and black glyphs alone do not physically move with objects in the world, but through gray glyphs, the world is Weiss's canvas.

It doesn't end there - since glyphs can interact with eachother, Weiss is capable of literally building things out of them. With enough time, she could create a chute lined with white glyphs to launch Yang at a semi-distant target. She could make an elevator up a cliffside. She could patch holes in an airship. She could MAKE an airship.

"Alright, Weiss-" Blake yawns, one ear still twitching off pieces of sleep. "Times up. I'll take it from here."

It takes Weiss a few seconds to respond, locked in concentration. "Just one moment." She flicks her wrist and makes a fist, fingernails toward the somewhat distant treeline - Blake's hearing reports a gentle hum, then nothing. Weiss exhales through her nose, then - "There." She catches Blake's eye, then looks outward with a finger outstretched:

"I didn't want to waste time during my watch, so I left some... modifications, to make yours easier." Blake nods, following along. "There, there, and there - as well as on the other sides of the clearing - I've placed Wind glyphs that will launch approaching... entities into the air for easy spotting. Those beyond the weight of an Ursa will trigger fire glyphs instead, also for easy spotting with the bonus of damage." Blake nods again, eyes wide. "At the first sign of trouble," Weiss continues, pointing at a wide, low, faint glyph near their tents in the grass, "that glyph is designed to jumpstart an Arma Gigas summon through kinetic disturbance."

Blake raises an eyebrow. "So I..."

"Shoot it for backup," Weiss finishes.

"Right." Blake says, taking the reclined position Weiss has just vacated. "Thanks. For what it's worth-" Weiss raises an eyebrow- "I'm glad you're on our side."

Blake - Shadow Projection, Multiplied (and Hardened)

Blake had certainly had enough in her lifetime of her Semblance being said to be a way of "running away," and letting something else take the hit for her. Her shadow clones had already become an active tool in combat, only accentuated by their use of allowing her to push off them, propelling her to new heights and towards targets - they were not only a way to entrap and confuse combatants, but also an offensive tool though which she could close distances and meet her opponents head-on. But with her team's support, Yang's infectious power of moving forward, and her own rapidly burgeoning independence and self-confidence, Blake's shadow clones began to resonate with the idea of moving in her direction instead of being left in her wake. One day, she reached forward and something that felt out of her reach suddenly felt, realistically, fully within it - and a shadowed faximile of herself closed the distance. As her Semblance gained traction in not only occupying a prior space, but also projecting to an upcoming one, Blake began to smirk during sparring sessions and combat engagements - don't think you've managed to get away, because she's already there.

Blake soon found that her Semblance would rebound and resonate its newfound power with its familiar ability. Perhaps forces in her life had kept her "in check," constrained her self-image to be small and helpless. Unrestrained, Blake's soul found a penchant for erupting in strength and momentum. Billowing with confidence during a sparring session, Blake guarded her escape from Yang's blow with a usual shadow clone, but she -pushed- and the fist was met with one, two, three layers of Blake, the final curling shadowy fingers around her wrist, stopping the onslaught entirely. That's new, they said - but in all honesty, it felt completely natural. Blake's Semblance made it clear who she was: countless layers of fortitude to rise and meet any challenge.

The blend of projection and multiplication makes Blake's evolved Semblance a shield, a catapult, and a deadly javalin. Multiple iterations not only makes an effective barrier, but also means clones projected forward can project off eachother, allowing Blake to strike targets via rapidly "chained" shadows, or strike dense targets with a condensed multitude of shadows replicating Gambol Shroud's blade nearly ten-fold in the space of an inch. Not to be left behind, Blake's original use of her semblance is also bolstered - a chain of clones pushing off the last makes for a speedy launch, giving Blake the ability to stay highly mobile in any situation or transform herself into a high-velocity, high-precision spear.

Finally, Blake has truly come to know her Semblance as an extension of herself. Never one to back down from a challenge, she wanted a way for her shadow clone to match her own body, equipment, and aura in strength and durability. Naturally, she's found it: by focusing on any one shadow and charging it with extra aura, Blake is capable of making a hardened clone ideal as a spear tip or a bulwark, distinguished by a bright, golden edge visible from the shadow edge's tangential angles.

"Alright, time to break out the big guns," Ruby says with a clenched fist. The gargantuan Grimm is slow, very heavily armored, and has a knack for steamrolling villages. "Bumblebee!"

"Well," Yang scratches the back of her head, gaze steady. "I'm sure we could knock it down, but it's suprisingly quick to find its footing. Blake?"

"Mm," Blake says, hand on hip. "Give me a boost. I bet I can get through the thin part of the armor we felt near the back of its neck last time."

"Done and done," Yang grins.

"So... Bee-Bumble?" Ruby says helpfully.

Blake smiles. "Bumblebee is fine."

Moments later, after an explosive launch into the sky, Blake blasts down toward the Big Grimm. In split seconds, she expels shadows around her like retroboosters, fine-tuning her lightning-fast descent as she prepares forward projection.

Roaring wind, gravity an afterthought.

Once in range, Blake thrusts shadows forward with Gambol Shroud brought to six points in a dark line, the furthest emblazoned in gold. It connects a second before Blake, in between them ringing out a deafening chain of impacts.

Chink in the deflective armor cracked, Blake withdraws Gambol Shroud as the old Grimm stops in its tracks and roars, black mist flowing from the break. She pushes off to relay the location to her team.

Now, she thinks, they have a target.

Yang - Chromatic Burn

Red. While steadfastly owning her color-shifting eyes as an attribute solely her own, Yang had always harbored a quiet bitterness about the source of her eyes' color when angry, passionate, or triggering her semblance. It came up one evening as Blake recalled watching Yang play with Jaune's nephew in Argus: then, and occasionally at Beacon, Yang's eyes had shifted to a brilliant blue hue. Having never met Yang's biological parents (and having been sensitive about throwing around Raven's name), Blake didn't know their eye colors, but suddenly put together the pattern:

"Yang, what color are your dad's eyes?"

Yang's eyebrows shot up at the question, but then relaxed as the corners of her mouth tilted toward a smile. "Blue like the sky."

Blake gently bobbed her head with a gentle gaze. "So that leaves..."

"...yeah." Yang's lilac eyes lowered.

It didn't end there, however - Blake, joined quickly by Ruby, pointed out something that Yang already knew but hadn't considered in-depth: her eyes were a chromatic blend of her biological parents' eyes, a sum greater than its parts, they all laugh. They shift with her mood, Tai's eye color becoming dominant in times of extreme patience and compassion, Raven's in times of extreme anger, aggression, passion.

So why, Yang thinks later, does her Semblance only reflect the red?

Over time, Yang's training and use of her Semblance grew more and more nuanced and controlled. She could now flick the switch on Burn on and off regardless of consuming stored strength ("Our favorite human campfire!"). She could activate it in more and more tranquil states of mind. Through carefully measured sparring, she even began to test how precisely she could monitor strength increases and control the force output, conserving aura unless strictly needed.

Then, one day as Yang was testing endurance and patience with her flames on to see how she could continue to store energy, she remembered training with Taiyang after the fall of Beacon, how casually fluid and patient his movements were, and how his love for her drove home the importants of patience, fluidity, and strategy. And her eyes, and her flames, suddenly burned blue.

Looking to the sky, eyes stinging with comprehension, Yang whispered "I get it, now."

She was greater than the sum of her parts, and she was comprised of the bits from them she chose to be.

Yang can "step back" her Semblance from standard to blue, allowing stored kinetic energy to flow into the shell of her aura, increasing durability while keeping her actual strength at a natural, unaffected level. Impacts to Yang in this state cause a resonance between the natural aura and its Semblance augment, granting up to another quarter in stored kinetic energy. It's just sensitive enough that footfalls and air pressure give Yang a slow but steady trickle of charge. Blue burn gives Yang time to analyze her opponent while more quickly building up strength.

The natural, fiery hue of Yang's flames in her standard Semblance activation have a new companion - at the core of herself, ready to dish out damage and fight for her friends, family, and whatever poor soul happens to be facing impending doom, Yang's eyes burn a more intense shade of lilac, shining with the purple-tinged flames that eminate from her hair and whisp from her fists. In this state, Yang's state of balance, she is fiercely herself and her stored energy lasts longer than before. And, thanks to the preparation from Blue, Lilac hits a little harder, propels her a little further. In this state, Yang's strength, speed, and longevity have never been more intimidating.

Finally, Red still plays a role - Yang recognizes that not every situation calls for patience and endurance. Sometimes, you just have to punch something really, really hard. When Yang's eyes burn red and the fringes of her flames do the same, all of Yang's stored energy is on the table for dispersion. If she exercises extreme control, she can split it into maybe two attacks - but "stepped forward," her Semblance is meant to obliterate, to end things. It is punctuation. When synergized well with the other steps of her Semblance, Yang's red burn could level a stadium.

For someone whose Semblance was literally Strength, he really seemed to be having trouble with this young, blonde Huntress. That sap school had helped him hone his powers, given him weapons, equipment, contacts, and a team he had promptly ditched as soon as they graduated. Because with that strength, that power, he could hold up banks, rob trains. That’s all he really wanted in the first place.

“You were never a Huntsman in the first place, were you?” she says as another of his colossal punches only quarter-connects, her stupid purple flames turning blue at the last second as she redirects most of his force to the side with the back of her arm.

“Would you STOP DOING THAT?”

She only smirks, the flames bursting purple again, and lands another punch to his gut. His aura groans under the pressure as he reals backward, coughing - was she seriously still getting stronger? Where was all that strength COMING from?

Shaking his head out, he decides this has to end NOW, and she’s just standing there - he forces a recovery, roars, and brings down both of his fists to squash her like a bug. To his delight, she doesn’t dodge, and this can’t be redirected - she cross her arms above her instead, her metal prosthetic on top, and the flames burn blue once more as all of his weight and strength come down… on a solid pillar, and he can’t hold in a yelp - a grunt, really - of pain from the impact.

Growling, he swings down again, only to trip in the dust.

“Once was enough, thanks,” he hears ahead as he tries to regain balance; looking up, he catches a flicker of gold as the woman’s aura strains, and just in time to see those purple flames bleed away to a deep red, and with her eyes to match. Something about that level gaze, the way the earth moves as she squares her feet, how quick the air seems to flee from her palms as she forms fists, makes his blood run cold. “You done?” The words drip with finality.

His body aches. His hair’s on end. Who is this woman?

“…yeah.” He falls back on his butt, hands in the air.

How far can things go? What's the limit to a person's soul? How far can the world of RWBY take it? I'm glad we can postulate and write our own bits for funsies.

Thanks for reading!

[stay-tinystars]

Colors: Masquerade

Ship: Hyunjin x Fem reader

Non idol au, Soul Mate AU

Warnings: sarcasm, bitter feelings, tripping over things, slight hitting/slapping (nothing violent), Chan is a tease, reader is implied to be older, I think that's it.

Word count: 4.2 k

A/N: So I wanted to write something for Hyunjins birthday. I always have been intrigued by Soul mate AUs so I wrote one. I haven't seen this one done before, so I hope you all like it. I plan on doing a one shot for each SKZ member for this AU. So some skz members will feature slightly in this and future stories. The series will be called Colors.

I hope you enjoy! And Happy birthday to Hyunjin! He is amazing, talented, and just drop dead gorgeous! Happy 21st international birthday! --story published Mar 19 2021 6:00pm MDT

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Most people couldn't wait to meet their soulmate. The one person who would change not only your life, but your eyes.

Everyone was born with two different colored eyes, they say those colors determined your childhood. Overall they generalized the colors; Blues usually meant they were inspired kids, inspiring themselves and others to do great things. Green meant they had luck on their side. Brown had resilient personalities, bringing a sense of dependability to others. Purples were very independent and creative. Grays had a sophistication that most children lacked. And so on and so forth. By the time you reached middle school everyone knew what their exact eye colors meant, and some say it predicted how you would find someone.

Eyes however didn't remain two separate colors your whole life. Once you met your soulmate they changed almost in an instant, color shifting for a few seconds until your eye color perfectly matched that of your mates. Some say time seemed to stop once they noticed their mates' eyes changing, but one thing was for sure no one felt their eyes change color, the only thing they usually felt was their heart speeding up. 

You originally couldn't wait to find your soul mate. You got caught up in the feeling of it all. You believed he would be everything you wanted and more. During your teens it's all you dreamed about, how you'd meet in some perfect way, how he would sweep you off your feet. However the past few years had made you bitter, watching friend after friend find their mate leaving you in the dust.

"You'll be the same when you find your mate" they would say as you grimaced as they would kiss and cuddle in front of you. Most of those so called friends never invited you to things anymore, because you couldn't relate because you didn't have someone. They said it was because they didn't want you to feel like the third wheel, but mostly you knew it's because they pitied you for not having someone. "It's a shame you don't have anyone, I hope he's still around somewhere"

You were starting to feel like you had some sort of disease, because that's how you were treated by those 'friends'.

Things only felt worse as you stared at the flyer someone slid under your door.

-----

Hyunjin pov

"Mandatory masquerade spring formal." He read as he lifted the flyer from the pile of mail next to his door. Hyunjin hated these mandatory regional events. At least this one was just a formal instead of a full costume ball, like the last one. The large cities throw these balls, three times a year. Anyone over the age of 20, who hadn't found their soulmate was required to go. This would be his third ball, he hoped it would be his last. Sure he wanted to meet his soulmate, but mostly he wanted all the girls who came to these things to stop throwing themselves at him, staring at his eyes hoping to see a change. Most would find it flattering, in fact Hyunjin did back in high-school he always loved the attention. Curious which girl would try during lunch that day. Now it was getting old, he wanted someone who truly saw his soul, not just his good looks.

Hyunjin sighed as he looked at himself in the floor length mirror, black suit pants, navy silk long sleeve button up with the top three buttons undone. A dark night sky scene was painted on the mask that rested on his nose. His long dark hair pulled away from his face. His eyes unchanged, still two different colors. One burnt umber, the other ocean blue.

He was curious of what color his eyes would change to once he met his soulmate, he heard it depends on how and when they meet.

For instance, his dad had similar eye colors to his before he met mom. They met on a stormy day, each on their way their jobs enjoying the rain. They met while dancing out in the light spring shower while waiting at a crosswalk. Now his parents both had beautiful bright gray eyes, the same color as the storm clouds as they parted for the sun that day.

Would his eyes turn the Navy he had chosen for this dance if he met her tonight? He sighed to himself, shaking his head slightly as he grabbed his things and left his apartment.

--

Reader pov.

At least the food they provided at these mandatory balls was delicious, it seemed the only incentive that was worth the trouble of being here. The numerous hors d'oeuvres were delicious, and you had a plate full of all the different types to make sure they still tasted delicious.

Truthfully you hated being here. You had been to too many of these things to count. At this point you wondered if your soulmate was dead, or lost somewhere. Simply because you hadn't met him yet, and it felt as if time was ticking. Maybe that's because your friends all found their mates within the year you all turned twenty. Now here you were five years later, still with miss matched eyes. One pewter gray, one lavender.

You wore the same dress you always did to these balls. At first it made you feel amazing, like a princess. Now it only brought you bitterness. The purple satin that faded to blue, a galaxy made of glitter across the bodice. The mask on your face was silver, making your eyes seem to shine.

"You look bored" a familiar voice got your attention, as he sat at the empty table next to you. Dressed in all black as he usually was. Looking devilishly handsome as always.

"Chan, I'm always bored at these things. You're the only one who talks to me" you sighed leaning on the table as you looked towards him. 

Chan was a god send at these things. He became your friend a few years ago, during one of these balls. His dimples made every girl swoon, it was the first thing you noticed about him, but what made you stay was the wonderful caring conversation that was so rare at these things. He actually wanted friends, not just a soulmate. He was truly a social butterfly.

"Maybe if you leave the table, and stop glaring at anyone who approaches, someone might talk to you." His mischievous eyes of emerald green and royal purple danced beneath his black mask, as he stole some hors d'oeuvres off your plate. Popping one into his mouth.

"Shut up Chan, not all of us are as charming as you!" you playfully hit his arm. He gasped softly and grabbed his arm in fake pain.

"I'm sure you could be somewhat charming. That is, if you took the "F off" stamp off your forehead." he teased making a face at you.

"Very funny" Rolling your eyes, looking back towards your plate of food, then towards the dance floor which was filled with eager young people, all dancing and talking. Switching partners every song or so. You watched as one couple suddenly stopped dancing, their eyes growing large. She squealed, jumping up and down as he hugged her. Another happy couple, another soulmate found.

You wanted to vomit.

"I want to know how neither of us have found our match, we've both been too far too many of these." You groaned, sliding down in your chair. Not caring how unladylike it was. You glanced towards Chan, who was just enjoying watching everyone.

"I suspect my match is elsewhere" his words wise, his eyes looking towards the newest happy couple fondly. "I think they might be at one of these in their own region"

"She probably is cursing your name right now, wondering why you are taking so long to find her." you started.

"Like you are cursing yours right now?" You wanted to smack that smirk off his face.

"Chan you can be infuriating." You stood, smoothing out your skirt. Chan chuckled following you. Knowing you wanted some fresh air.

"Maybe you don't want to crash the next regional dance with me." he nudged you as you both walked around the main crowd, towards the large outdoor balcony.

"Now that is a good idea, I didn't think you had any of those left" you looked towards him with a shocked expression. Your foot caught on something, then someone's body bumped into yours.

That's when you ended up flat on your back, your mask slightly askew.

The music seemed to stop. In fact it had. You looked at your converse clad feet which were tangled in the electrical cords from the DJ booth. Chan was laughing. The DJ scrambled from the booth to fix the electrical situation. You shifted, untangling yourself best as possible from the cords. Muttering a slight apology to the frazzled dark haired man, as he gathered the cords quickly.

"I'm so sorry!" A new voice said as he stumbled to his feet beside you. His navy shirt hanging loosely around him. "I wasn't even looking where I was going," he said, dusting himself off. Then looking at you, and offering a hand.

"It's my fault too, I wasn't looking." You said taking his hand, to help you to your feet. Then glaring at Chan who was beside himself with fits of laughter. "I was too busy chiding my friend" you gestured towards Chan, shaking your head.

"My name is Hyunjin" the handsome man smiled, his mask shimmered as the little iridescent stars caught light.

"Y/N " you said with a slight bow, fixing your mask.

"It's nice to meet you, I haven't seen you here before." he smiled, he was ridiculously attractive.

"Well she's been here, forever" Chan exaggerated as he leaned on your shoulder. You shoved him away.

"Shut up Chan."

"Well you have!" He put his hand up in mock defense.

"I'm so done with you!" You walked away, then turned to Hyunjin and gave a quick wave. He gave a small nod, as a girl approached him tapping him on the shoulder.

You took that as your queue to leave. You felt so done with everything, still hadn't felt that spark everyone gushed about. You felt slightly embarrassed about cutting the music with your own clumsy feet. You made a fool of yourself thanks to Chan, you just knew you needed out.

When you got home you were exhausted, and changed out of your gown, and quickly washed your face then just went to bed.

------

Hyunjin

Hyunjin nodded, as the strange but cute girl practically ran away. Feeling a small tap on his shoulder his attention was brought to a girl in a pink poofy ball gown. The music was starting up again, he knew she was going to ask him to dance. Why had he come in from the balcony?

"So I've been watching you all night. And…." Her eyes widened. "What color are my eyes?" She asked quickly, her words stumbling out of her mouth.

"Um.." Hyunjin cocked his brows as he looked closer, kind of confused. "Dark blue, and light green?"

Her face fell, then he saw multiple emotions flash over her face, ending in anger.

"Why are you here if you already have a soulmate? Shouldn't you be with them!" She practically yelled. Hyunjin was confused, as the girl slapped his arm and ran away. What a strange turn of events. First he ran into that girl, Y/n? Now he just got some weird girl thinking he had a soulmate, these balls got worse every time, maybe he would call it a night.

He went to the bathroom, still bewildered by the weird situation that just happened. As he took off his mask he looked in the mirror.

"What the hell?!" He yelled at his reflection, leaning on the counter, getting closer to the mirror. Both ofHis eyes a bright flaming orange. He felt as if he was looking at a campfire in his eyes. His mind started reeling. How had he met his soulmate? He had barely talked to anyone all night, he had hid on the balcony outside for the first hour of this thing, just eating the hors d'oeuvres that were provided. He then came inside to try to make the night worthwhile, and while looking at the decorated ballroom, he ran into someone, literally. That's when it clicked, the girl he literally ran into, it had to be her. She was the only one he talked to!

"Y/N, I've got to find Y/N!" He grabbed his mask and ran out of the bathroom.

Two hours of searching later, Hyunjin sat defeated at a random table. He sat his mask down and slumped in the chair, as he watched happy couples in pairs all around the room. That's what was supposed to be happening to him right now, staring into his soul mates eyes, dancing the night away without a care in the world.

Who had ever heard of a soulmate who didn't know. A soulmate who didn't say anything. These stupid masks, they cover up half your face, distorting the eyes. The dark room. How did they expect people to see the change with those factors?

He always heard that when you saw the change and knew, but he hadn't seen her eyes change, plus she ran off so quickly. Maybe he should've gone after her. No, that would've been creepy, plus he didn't know at the time.

What was he supposed to do? He wasn't even sure exactly what she looked like. That's when he saw his chance. He swears that's Y/Ns friend from earlier, in the all black and black mask talking to the DJ right now. Hyunjin quickly stood and bee lined towards the man in black.

"Excuse me, your Chan right?" Hyunjin said, approaching him.

"Yes, and you're Hyunjin?" The man smiled, as Hyunjin nodded. Chan resumed watching the people on the dance floor in front of him.

"Yeah, I, uh, ran into your friend Y/N earlier" Hyunjin rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah you did, quite literally." he chuckled, side eying and gently elbowing Hyunjin.

"Well that's the thing. I kind of need to find her."

"Did she break your phone or something?" He asked.

"No, she's kind of my soulmate." Hyunjin blurted.

"What?" Chan choked on air, as his eyes bugged out. He turned and grabbed Hyunjin's shoulders, looking him straight in the eye, the corners of his mouth lifted slightly as he saw the orange in his eyes.

"She's the first one I talked to tonight at this stupid thing. After hiding on the balcony. I didn't even know it happened til another girl started to flirt with me." Hyunjin now turned his attention to the dance floor.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but she's long gone." Hyunjin felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

"I figured, since I've been looking for her for over two hours" he heard the other male grimace on his behalf.

"So I was wondering if you could help me out. All I know about her is her first name." Hyunjin looked towards his shoes, trying to distract himself with the nice polished shine.

"Well I could help," Chan smirked and Hyunjins head snapped up looking at him, "but I'm not sure I owe Y/N the courtesy of helping her out." Chans mischievous two toned eyes shone playfully.

"I thought she was your friend" Hyunjin was slightly confused, yet again this evening.

"Oh she is, she just owes me after bailing on me tonight." He looked at his phone. "And being as I have no messages from her freaking out. I bet she didn't even notice before she went to sleep"

They exchanged information, Chan excited to be in the middle of this. Curious of how you would react in the morning. Promising Hyunjin to keep him informed.

-----

Your pov

The blaring alarm on your phone made you groan, you silenced it and rolled back over. Some days you wish you didn't have to work, but being a manager over editing on the largest magazine in the city meant you couldn't miss work. Yet you still fell back asleep.

When your alarm went off to tell you it was time to leave you woke up in a panic. You quickly showered and dressed, grabbing some breakfast then you were out the door, not even bothering with makeup as you were going to be late.

"Oh my gosh! Tell me everything!" Joy, your second in command gushed as you entered the office.

"Nothing out of the ordinary at those stupid balls. Food again was the only reason to attend" you muttered as you set your things down on your desk, and plopped in your chair.

"Obviously that's a lie! Now tell me what really happened!" Joy pestered. Her vivid seafoam green eyes, staring you down. She found her soulmate just after she started working with you, but she always wanted to gossip and talk about those meeting their matches. It intrigued her for some reason.

"I told you everything. I went ate food, watched all the stupid romantic couples, headed outside. Tripped on the cords for the DJ booth then left." You huffed, leaning back. She put her hands on your chair making you face her. You cocked your eyebrows at her.

"You don't know? How can you not know" Her words confusing, and accusing.

"Joy, what are you talking about?" You groaned. She then dug in her purse bringing out her compact.

"I know I didn't do my makeup today." 

"Just look in the mirror"

"But-"

"Just look in the mirror Y/N" you grabbed the compact from her hand and looked at yourself, trying to see what she was talking about. Nothing seemed out of place, you didn't have any bruises from the collision last night. You went to close the mirror when you glimpsed orange. You immediately pulled it back to your face. Eyes wide.

"I…. What?" Your words lost and confused.

"Now tell me about him!" She sat on the edge of your desk looking at you.

"I only talked to Chan last night. And we both know he isn't my match" you sat staring at the mirror in your hand. Going through everything that happened, you grabbed your phone. Quickly texting Chan.

--What color are your eyes???

you hadn't heard of knowing someone for years before they became a soulmate but you had to ask.

"Well you had to have met someone new" she nudged your leg.

"That's the thing, I don't remember talking to anyone else. Just Chan annoying me, then-" the sudden realization hit you. "I ran into someone, literally"

"Of course that's how you would meet your match" she nodded. "You are kind of clumsy"

"Oh hush!" You pushed her slightly, she just laughed.

"So tell me about him"

"Um, he was handsome? I think his name was Hajun? No, Hyunwoo? I don't remember. I was a little frazzled last night. Plus we only talked for a second after we both ended up on the floor" you muttered, leaning back in your chair again looking at the ceiling. When your phone buzzed.

-why are yours perhaps a different color

-say orange? 😏

--Well I never expected you to be my soulmate after all this time….

- what are you going on about? My eyes are still a perfect green and purple.

--Chan what do you know...

- Far more than you think

--Chan tell me! Did you talk to Hyunwoo?

-I don't know a Hyunwoo.

-do you perhaps mean Hyunjin?

-- YES! Hyunjin! Are his eyes also orange

-- dumb question

--you told me orange before I told you what color my eyes are.

-this is actually very entertaining

- you're over thinking everything aren't you.

-- Shut up Chan!

-- Do you have his info

- Maybe, but you told me to shut up so I will!

--Chan! No!

-- Please!

--I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you! I need his number.

- Only if you do something for me

-- I don't like where this is going...

- you never do.

- dinner 6 pm tonight, at Ombu downtown.

- be there and I might give you what you want after you pay for dinner.

-- You only like me for my money

- I have more money than you!

--So you say, but I always pay.

- just meet me at 6.

"So Chan knows who it is, but won't give me his information" you said looking at Joy who was now actually working at her desk. Like you should be.

"Typical Chan, let me guess. Making you buy him dinner in exchange for the information." You nodded. "I swear whoever his soulmate is better cook well, he will do anything in exchange for food" she shook her head.

Work was over soon enough, and so you changed into jeans and a blouse, did a small amount of makeup and headed downtown. Ombu was your typical spot to go with Chan. Delicious Korean barbecue, their meat selections far better than the other places around. Which is why Chan always insisted on going there. 

"Welcome, Y/N! Chan is already waiting for you" Rose the usual hostess said guiding you towards your usual back corner booth, Chan loved this booth, he could people watch and it had the best hot plate.

"Thanks Rose!" You say as she motions towards the table. Your eyes grew as you looked at the table. Not only seeing Chan, but you couldn't stop staring at the orange eyed man next to him. "Hyunjin, right?" You said softly as you took your seat, he nodded a smile came across his face as he stared at you.

You finally started to understand why those couples would just stare into one another's eyes. His eyes were intriguing, bringing you a sense of peace. His eyes looked like the flames of the comforting campfires you enjoyed so much as a child. You almost wanted to just curl up and look in his eyes forever.

"Well, now I can see this is going to be awkward. So I'm just going to order food to get the dinner started" Chan said. You hadn't even realized the waiter had come to the table to take your order.

"Sorry" you and Hyunjin muttered at the same time. Followed by nervous giggles.

"I wasn't expecting to see you tonight," you said to Hyunjin. "Chan wanted dinner in exchange for your information. I didn't think he would bring you"

"Well, I asked him to keep me informed last night, after I couldn't find you. So once he told me you guys were getting dinner I wouldn't let him tell me no" his hand drifted towards yours on the table.

"So you're persistent," you noted.

"Very." He smirked moving closer.

"Look, guys I want dinner. Can't you guys make heart eyes at each other afterwards. I just want to eat. And if this continues, you guys are going to make me sick." Chan groaned.

"I'll try to behave," you said as you reached towards Hyunjins hand, taking it in yours.

"You don't know how to behave." Chan teased. You just rolled your eyes, shaking your head. You usually would say something back, but you were slightly distracted by the soft circles being drawn by Hyunjins thumb on the back of your hand.

Two weeks later you sat in Hyunjins apartment. Cuddling as you watched an action comedy. Your head resting on his chest as his arm draped around you. You started to get to know your match well. You found out he worked at the large musical academy. He taught dance, and music history. He was doing quite well for himself, he had a nice place, a car, and was decently responsible with his money.

Hyunjin was your soulmate, your match. Aside from that first night at ombu with Chan; the two of you did your best not to be disgustingly cute in front of those who didn't have their match yet. Such as his roommate Han, who usually ended up joining the two of you for movie nights.

Truthfully life was good, you felt less bitter about it all. Of course it wasn't perfect, and you still had a lot to learn about the other, but this was what you needed. You needed someone who was whole, who had a kind heart and soul. And that was what you got, it was just a perk that he was ridiculously attractive.

Hyunjin was grateful to have finally found you too. He didn't mind being younger. He loved your caring heart, protected by its sarcastic shell. He couldn't believe he met someone who already had so much drive and compassion. He loved your playful banter with his friends, he was grateful you accepted his friends and did your best to make them comfortable. Plus he couldn't ever take his eyes off of you. In his mind you were perfect in every way, despite the flaws you insisted you had.

He felt lucky being the first of his friends to find his match.

-- Orange meaning: warmth, enthusiasm, success, encouragement, change, determination, stimulation, happiness, fun, sexuality, freedom, expression, and fascination. --

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Richard Kruspe interview 'Welt' 2009

By Laura Ewert.

Some of the usual stuff (Richard's difficulty with dealing with the Rammstein democracy, this-record-is-the-last, being happy vs being meaningful, the 'old marriage' comparison) but i liked the part about the orginal lyrics of Pussy being too 'platt' which translates to 'flat' or 'uninspired' and they changed it to insert a bit of humor into it, because even though it must exhausting for the band themselves, i think the qualitycontrol within Rammstein is a good thing really.

(also, i think Richard got a bit annoyed with the interviewer, which i can understand.. 😇)

English translation:

"Rammstein are too smart to be right-wing"

They are Germany's most successful rock group. On the new album "Liebe ist für alle da", Rammstein, as usual, played the bugbear. WELT ONLINE spoke to their guitarist Richard Kruspe about porn, national symbols and the imminent end of the band.

Black hair, heavy rings, black-rimmed eyes - Richard Kruspe looks exactly as one had always imagined a Rammstein member to look. The 42-year-old sits at a large table in a room of the Universal record company in Berlin, smokes and smiles friendly. The discussion again can start: Are Rammstein dangerous provocateurs or ingenious creators of their total work of art?

WELT ONLINE: Mr. Kruspe, the current Rammstein single "Pussy" entered the German charts at number one. Despite a video that cannot be shown uncensored on television.

Richard Kruspe: Any other band would have said: We can't make a porn, it'll never be shown on music television. I heard that over two million people saw it in two weeks like this. So there are other ways too, you don't always have to bend. "Pussy" is very independent compared to the other songs on the album. Our singer Till initially only wrote the text in English and I thought it was borderline at first.

WELT ONLINE: In terms of content?

Kruspe: Yes, in terms of content. It was just too much. There is a certain kind of humor that I find good, but there are limits. Then at the request of the band Till wrote the German verses. In that way the text got a humorous touch that I can live with. It's not exactly what I define as Rammstein, but Rammstein simply is a mix of six different people.

WELT ONLINE: Who actually had the idea for the porn video?

Kruspe: We asked the director Jonas Åkerlund. He listened to the song and after three hours wrote an email back: "Let's start a revolution, let's do a porn". All you could see on the faces of the band members was a big grin.

WELT ONLINE: But you have had yourself doubled?

Kruspe: Well, that's the big question. It doesn't matter. It was a nice challenge. I always thought the porn business was dirty and cold, but it's not at all. All the people there were extremely friendly and very accommodating.

WELT ONLINE: The text is not particularly friendly and accommodating.

Kruspe: I cannot and will not say anything about the text. I am not the text writer.

WELT ONLINE: But you said earlier that the first text version of "Pussy" was a bit too much for you.

Kruspe: No, it wasn't too much for me. It was just too uninspired for me. The German verses gave it a certain sense of humor that I can support.

WELT ONLINE: It is said that this text should be understood as a criticism of German sex tourists.

Kruspe: If you see it that way.

WELT ONLINE: I don't see it that way. But can you tell me what your understanding of the text is?

Kruspe: For me it's a party song, nothing more and nothing less.

WELT ONLINE: The line "Put bratwurst in your sauerkraut" is excellent to roar along to when drunk.

Kruspe: I think that's extremely funny.

WELT ONLINE: What about those who don't understand this humor? Drunken hordes of men on the way to the "Blitzkrieg with the meat gun"?

Kruspe: There is aggression in every society. They are acted out differently. My children, who are 17 and 18, don't do that. The only thing I can do is make sure things are different in my small circle. But when you start thinking about these things as an artist, you start limiting yourself. But I have a problem with censoring myself. I grew up in a system where I was constantly censored.

WELT ONLINE: Doesn't the question of responsibility arise?

Kruspe: I'm not someone who goes out with a raised finger and says: That's how you have to do it. We never did that.

WELT ONLINE: But don't you also say that you want to criticize something by exaggerating social situations?

Kruspe: Yes, you could say that. But that still doesn't mean that we tell people how to live. Everyone is responsible for their own life. Everyone has to have their own experiences in order to learn from them. We are not the Messiah.

WELT ONLINE: So is your music just acting out your own personalities?

Kruspe: When making music, of course, a dynamic of its own develops that you have to live with. These are things that cannot be influenced.

WELT ONLINE: The cover of your album is reminiscent of paintings by Rembrandt.

Kruspe: Hieronymus Bosch is a better comparison. The cover was created in collaboration with a Spanish artist who just tried things. Journalists are always entitled to question the meaning. But good things happen out of a certain naivety.

WELT ONLINE: What is that metal toothed monster up there on the cover on the right?

Kruspe: It should be some kind of alien. I already forgot. It was pretty good what the artist had thought out. Some kind of alien that eats up all consumption. Very philosophical what he has built there.

WELT ONLINE: And the naked woman lying on the table has her hands chopped off, right?

Kruspe: Yes, but that shouldn't be taken literally, in the sense that a woman is being massacred.

WELT ONLINE: It looks like an offering.

Kruspe: I see more the abysses of this world in the picture.

WELT ONLINE: Next to the woman on the table are two men closing their pants. Are you one of them?

Kruspe: No, I am not.

WELT ONLINE: It's a rape scene really, isn't it?

Kruspe: If you want to see it that way. I always find art interesting when it leaves things open.

WELT ONLINE: Let's come back to ...

Kruspe: ... to the difficult questions? Don't you have something else to talk about? Something nice? About life?

WELT ONLINE: I still have one question about the record.

Kruspe: Okay, one more.

WELT ONLINE: You are clearly using national symbols. Be it the German flag, the desk reminiscent of pictures of Hitler's speeches ...

Kruspe: Yes, but in a very humorous way. "I can't get laid in Germany" is very funny.

WELT ONLINE: Well I don't think you're right-wing.

Kruspe: No, we're too smart for that (laughs).

WELT ONLINE: Why does sex always have to do with fighting and war in your songs?

Kruspe: For me, sex always has to do with passion. I am a romantic. On the other hand, I like it dramatic. We'd have to go back a long way to my childhood to see what might have gone wrong. I believe that musicians more or less unconsciously always bring things across in a dramatic and painful way. At least that is how it has to be for Rammstein.

WELT ONLINE: Are you a believer?

Kruspe: Religious? No. I believe in justice.

WELT ONLINE: A justice that arises out of the human being, or one that is imposed from outside?

Kruspe: I think there is an idea. Some say this is God. Before things are done or before they arise, there was always an idea from which there is also a sense of justice. Do you understand? I believe that it is important in life to be punished for certain things. I believe in the fate principle and the karma principle.

WELT ONLINE: But if there is this punishment, won't Rammstein face a hefty punishment?

Kruspe: We only speak out what is reality or what is part of society. The Church used to say what is good and what is bad. That's bullshit. Just because someone has a sexual orientation that the Church classifies as evil doesn't mean it is wrong. On the contrary.

WELT ONLINE: Does "love is there for everyone" also mean that any form of sexual love, including that which is socially ostracized, is a part of humanity?

Kruspe: "Love is there for everyone" is a very Christian thought. Of course you have to ask yourself, is love really there for everyone? I would wish it to be that way. Can we forgive those who misunderstood love? I often think about it and fail and get a little further and go back again. Especially when you turn 40. A lot happens there. Especially with men.

WELT ONLINE: Yes? What?

Kruspe: For me there are two options in life. Be happy or be meaningful. And as a musician you naturally try to lead a meaningful life. The big problem with me is that my longing for happiness is great, but the strength I need to be creative comes from suffering. Even if you do not suffer, you try to bring it into your life somehow in order to be able to create again. A cycle. If I were happy I'd know I would never write again. I tried to find happiness outside of myself. And now at 40 there comes the point where you try to find something inside me that makes you happy.

WELT ONLINE: Can't you catch the creative moments by now?

Kruspe: I used to try drugs. I used cocaine a lot. You reach dimensions that you would otherwise never be able to reach. You can edit a kick drum for eight hours. This creative power comes to me in different moments. It's buzzing in the air and the only thing you can do is be open. And then the moment is gone again. As if a cloud is passing by and you reach for it and then wait for the next cloud.

WELT ONLINE: One hears that the current record could be the last of the band. Is Rammstein going to dissolve?

Kruspe: At the moment I couldn't imagine going back to the studio with the experiences of the last record. But I could imagine touring further. In a band you're trapped in an image. It's like a soap opera that never ends. You have your character and you play it. And then this Rammstein democracy. We have discussions every day. Everything is talked about and talked about. And voted. In a band you don't have that kind of sexual discharge that you would have in a relationship. It's like a long marriage with us. You just don't like to sleep together that much anymore.

[billie-brat]

Joni Mitchell: A whole world in one mind

"Joni Mitchell took this potent popular image that has been building for 7 or 8 years anyway, the 'California girl', the 'beach boy's girl', the beautiful golden girl with the long hair parted in the middle. And Joni not only was the girl, but she was also the Bob Dylan, the Paul Simon, the Lennon-McCartney writing it. You know, she was the whole package; she was the subject and she was the painter." - Bill Flanagan

When you listen to Joni Mitchell's music, what do you think of? and what do you feel? Maybe you'd say you feel like you want to fly with the clouds, feel the wind hug you warmly or coldly, make you want to dive into the deepest meanings of life. It's unexplainable. But one thing that her listeners would probably say is - it's real and authentic. No one does it like Joni Mitchell.

As young as 9 years old, Joni contracted polio and it was in the hospital where she began singing to an audience of patients. Joni had always been an artist, she said in one of her interviews, she loved painting and music was her hobby.

She trained herself to play guitar, studied in an art college and performed at local folk clubs and coffehouses until suddenly, she became one of the most anticipated music artists on the big stages during late 1960s and '70s.

She was even described as the "Yang to Bob Dylan's Yin, equalling him in richness and profusion of imagery." Indeed, her music paints a world in your mind, rides you in a sea of feeling, it opens your perspectives about different aspects in a new way. And she does it all so with honesty.

In the mid' 1960s, she moved to the United States and by 1968, she recorded her first album "Joni Mitchell" produced by David Crosby. It was the beginning of her success, more albums followed which gained her numerous accolades. Her sophomore album Clouds released in 1969 being the first one to win her a Grammy Award (best folk performance), her next album, Ladies of the Canyons became her first gold album and was a mainstream success including her hit singles "Big yellow taxi" and "The Circle game." It was also during this time when she experimented more on the genres of pop and rock. Some of her other most soulful and famous successful recordings include Blue (1971) being her first-million selling album, The Hissing of Summer lawns (1975) which conveyed more of Joni's societal views based on her social observation, Hejira (1976), and Turbulent indigo (1994).

By 1974, Joni showcased her jazz skills in her album Court and sparks which was her best-selling album that garnered another Grammy award as Best instrumental arrangement accompanying vocalist(s) and was highly praised by critics.

Her expressive songs continue to inspire, motivate, influence and amaze even the younger generation of today. Differently styled covers of her songs by other musicians had also gained much recognition. Although she isn’t as popular as she was during her prime, Joni Mitchell's music continues to give light for those in the darkness, speak for the voiceless and comfort people in their time of loneliness.

"When forests rise to block the light that keeps a traveler sane, I'll challenge them with flashes from a brighter time"

From a verse of her song "I think I understand." Joni speaks of her courage of facing her fears, finally stepping out of the comfort zone and becoming a stronger person. Problems, challenges, struggles, they may all block her way again but she will fight it much braver than she did in her yesterday's battles. Dark experiences made colorful, beautiful as a musical masterpiece, it fires up a person's will to live no matter how hard life gets.

"And I play if you have the money or if you're a friend to me, but the one man band by the quick lunch stand, he was playing real good for free."

From her song "For free." It reminds us of how we should keep our passion alive and well, reminds us of the reasons on why we pursue it - it is to be happy. We don't become artists or do what we are passionate about for the sake of turning heads our way, we pursue our passion for the reason that it is what our hearts desire. In this song, Joni expressed how the passing years had changed her, she's still passionate but her experiences has grown her tired, and her passion wasn't as fiery as it was in her earlier days. It made her look back on the beginnings of her career. It is an inspiring piece of music that nudges us from the chaos of our mind and of our surroundings, reminding us of the goals we have set to achieve.

"I've looked at life from both sides now from win and lose and still somehow, it's life's illusions I recall. I really don't know life at all."

From the last chorus of her song "Both sides now." Life is messy, so many paths to take on, bigger and much bigger problems to overcome and other aspects of it. It can get too complicated and you may even lose yourself in it. It is truly incredible how Joni Mitchell sings not only to express her mind, but also to move the hearts of her listeners. Like this song of hers, Both sides now, deeply relatable and vulnerable. Such moments prove the creativeness and greatness of a music artist; when one feels the singing of a musician’s heart and understand their message through each changing melodies, the song becomes a live soulful person or even a whole world in one mind.

[ambersky0319]

It's You

Prompt :

Warnings : Sympathetic Remus, panic attack

The lovely people who wanna be tagged in just Intrulogical things : @cress-the-fander @worm-does-shit

A/N : So um, this turned out longer than I was planning XD 1641 words... I rarely write that much for even actual chapters of things!

Thank you @cress-the-fander for suggesting this! It was a lot of fun to write, and I do hope you enjoy!

Fic Masterpost

----------------------

Remus rocked on his ankles, biting his lip and trying to not crack his knuckles for the billionth time, nerves eating away at him. His heart pounded in his chest as he stood outside the logical side's door, waiting for the other to finish grabbing whatever he needed before they went into the Imagination.

He took a deep breath, trying to wash the terror off his face.

No one had ever been to his part of the Imagination. It was his sanctuary, his home-away-but-also-not-away-from-home. His safe haven. The one place he was allowed to be vulnerable and be truly himself. It was a place for him to escape the mind palace and just let loose.

And now he was inviting someone else in.

Thoughts raced through his head, what if Logan found it awful? What if he criticized the land? What if he wanted to leave there too soon? What if he wanted to leave Remus altogether?

That scared Remus even more, and he barely noticed that the door was getting increasingly more blurry. His vision swam but he wasn't actually seeing, instead lost in the horrors of what might happen.

What if Logan got hurt? What if one of the others saw them go into the Imagination together? What if they convince Logan to dump him if they find out about their relationship? What would happen then? What would happen if Remus lost control in the Imagination and hurt Logan himself, truly hurt Logan, and then everyone hated him even more? What if he couldn't see Logan after this? What if they're forced apart?

He muffled a sob, sinking to the ground in front of the pearly white door with blue lettering. His tears ruined his makeup, the eyeshadow dripping from his face and into his lap. His shoulders shook as he clenched his teeth and pressed his hands harder against his lips, keeping any wails or whimpers down so they'd only be a small whine from the back of his throat.

He was curling in on himself, thoughts spiraling and clouding his mind. Why did he agree to show Logan his Imagination? His home? His most prized creation? Why did he agree? Why? Why? Why?

"Remus?" That voice was familiar. A monotone with a hint of concern. Remus would recognize it anywhere.

"Remus, if you can hear me, try to follow along, alright?" Logan didn't expect an answer, and instead started to count. He instructed Remus on what to do, first trying out the technique Virgil had learned. Breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, and exhale for eight.

Remus hugged himself tighter, his breathing still uneven as he tried to take deeper breaths and failed. But it had helped slightly.

"Alright, let's try something else, okay? May I hold your hand?" Logan asked calmly, and Remus took in another shaky breath before uncurling one of his arms from around himself and offering his hand to Logan.

Logan took Remus' hand in his, and Remus gripped it tightly, knuckles white. If Logan was in pain from the near-bone-crushing hold, it didn't show. His face stayed neutral as he guided Remus through another exercise- having him count numbers out of order, or answer problems that Remus would need to work out.

It took many tries, but eventually Remus had calmed down. His grip on Logan's hand had relaxed a bit, and he looked up from his knees, wiping at his face with his free arm. "Thanks," he mumbled.

Logan smiled warmly at him, a smile that reassured Remus. It was the smile that Remus fell in love with, the smile that always seemed to brighten up his day.

Logan leaned forward a bit to press a gentle kiss to Remus' knuckles, and Remus' cheeks flushed pink. "Do you want to talk about whatever happened?" Logan inquired softly, lifting his gaze slightly.

Remus shook his head, sniffing slightly. "I don't think it'd be too good to talk about it," he replied. Logan nodded in understanding and stood up. He pulled Remus up with him, and as soon as they were both on their feet, Logan pulled Remus closer and hugged his duke.

Remus sighed slightly, clinging onto Logan. "I think I'm ready to bring you to my part of the Imagination."

Remus could almost see the light bulb go off in Logan's head, despite his own face buried in the crook of Logan's neck. Logan's arms rested around his waist, tightening ever so slightly, making Remus feel just that little bit more protected.

"We don't need to if you do not wish to, Remus. We can always just hideaway in my room and watch those trashy horror films."

Remus' own arms tightened around Logan, and he shook his head, taking a deep breath.

"But I want to do this. Trust me."

Logan was quiet for a few seconds, pulling away just slightly so he could look down and examine Remus' expression. He traced a finger along Remus' jaw, meeting Remus' gaze and searching for any hint he may be lying.

"You're positive?"

Remus nodded.

"Alright then-" Logan pressed a kiss to Remus' forehead, a feather-light touch that made Remus' intestines turn to butterflies- "whenever you're ready, we can go."

Remus took in a slow breath. This was the easiest part. Sinking out with someone wasn't something foreign to any of the sides, even Remus. But he felt the butterflies in his stomach be replaced with nervous knots, and he chewed on the inside of his lip as they popped into Remus' sector of the Imagination.

He watched as Logan scanned the area they had appeared in, only releasing Remus with one arm. The trees seemed to all be dead, some charred as if struck by lightning, others of old age, and some had dried up. Between the trees what looked to be a deer three times their normal size raced through the trees, chasing after a bear only just a bit shorter.

Logan looked to the sky, taking in the stars in the broad daylight, the moon and sun forever stuck beside one another above. Dark clouds dotted the sky, winding around what Logan could only assume to be Remus' borders. A vulture landed on a nearby branch, peering down at the two curiously.

Logan saw the dark tower looming just down one of the paths, a dark shadow being cast onto the deceased trees. Logan could see the hints of green from where they stood, flickering against the black bricks.

"Well?" Remus asked, his hands above his mouth clamped together as he waited for Logan to say something. Anything. Logan's expression was unreadable, and Remus could feel that panic start to build up again.

After another minute of silence, Logan's voice was like music to Remus' ears.

"It looks a lot less chaotic than I expected, and a lot less gore." Logan commented, and stepped over slightly so he stood in front of Remus instead of beside him. He moved his arm from around Remus' waist and cupped his cheeks in his hands, running his thumb along Remus' lower face slowly, eyes full of adoration and love.

He leaned in and kissed Remus- such a gentle kiss that Remus felt lightheaded, getting chills as Logan's hands left his face and trailed down his arms to Remus' hands. When Logan pulled back slightly, Remus blinked a few times, as if trying to start working again.

"It's not what I expected, but it's still beautiful. Perfect, and totally you. Now-" Logan took a step back, tugging Remus slightly as the side seemed to come back to 'reality'- "I'd love to go visit that tower, and let you show me around. That alright with you?"

Remus expression shifted. Once a terrified look had morphed into one of confusion and a hazey feeling, but then even that shifted, shifted to a grin that Logan could only take as a yes.

The creative trait began to pull Logan along. It was as if his fears had melted away as he walked familiar paths and saw the strange creatures, his creations, his children. And he jumped into an explanation of anything that Logan asked about, but he missed every love-struck look that Logan sent his way.

"Hey Remus?" Logan asked, leaning against the cusions of the couch that Remus had conjured for them. "Can I ask you something?"

Remus looked away from the large tv playing some horror film that Remus didn't care to remember the title to. He smiled at Logan and nodded, and Logan smiled back,kissing his cheek lightly before standing up.

Logan looked down at Remus, a look of pure love on his face. And Logan was no longer afraid to say the three words that had previously taken him do very long to even whisper. He no longer felt shy about letting the words leave his lips, and he beamed whenever he saw Remus' face turn crimson.

"I love you-" Remus' cheeks heated up as Logan had suspected they would- "You mean the world to me, Remus." Logan took Remus' hands in his own, squeezing them lightly.

"You're courageous and affectionate and loving and despite how many see you, you're truly a wonderful person. I love your personality, your extravagant outfits. I love when you're proud, and you get really interested in a single topic.

"I love you, and the question I'm going to ask is a very important one." Logan kissed both of Remus' hands softly before he sunk to his knee, and tears pricked at Remus' eyes as he processed what exactly was going on.

Logan pulled a box from one of his back pockets, and held it out to Remus. Remus could see the way Logan's hand trembled slightly.

"Will you, Remus Creativity Sanders, marry me?"

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[rintheyordle]

A moment to think - Mini Story!

[ Wrote a mini story, please click below to read! ]

[ Also, flavor music if you want to listen while reading!]

Rin sighed and leaned into her chair, rolling it back onto its hind quarters while her legs laid on her work table.

So much mail coming in, so little time to really relax. The conversations and business related matters with everyone made her feel a tad tense with the subjects at hand.

“Maybe I’ve been a bit too brash... everyone was getting a bit invasive, though.. hmm.. I need to relax! Look at me, talking like a high Piltover Noble! HAH! ” Rin cracked a smile and kicked out of her chair. She wobbled slightly, nearly losing her balance, but with a quick tail flick and a slip of her arms, her equilibrium regained and she went running out the door of the shop. She waved a fast goodbye to her mentor as she charged out, though he wasn’t paying attention. Normal, no big deal. She’d be back in a few hours. Stationed by the exit was her sturdy leather backpack, already equipped with her hexglider and other trinkets for the road. This was obviously snatched and thrown onto the yordle’s back as she made her way. Rin rushed down the streets of Piltover in a curious frenzy. Her adrenaline began to spark once more, making her grin wider. She rushed past folks so fast, darting in and out of their feet that hardly anyone noticed her, even had she been shrouded. The yordle whipped through more crowds on their way home before making a hasty exit down a narrow corridor. Many of these forgotten alleyways existed in Piltover and made for great ways to avoid the normal barrage and bustle of the city. She actually learned most of the secrets of navigation from the Zaunite children who climbed their ways to the top to steal food or accessories, or try to get into shows. Normal Piltovians prided themselves on not getting their hands dirty, trying to look fashionable and all that. Rin, however, loved the adventure, the rush, and the adrenaline. She hit a dead end with an array of discarded bits and bobs. To the normal eye, it was just trash. To her and the street kids, a stairway. She rushed at the objects, spring boarding herself up one side and scrambling on top of an opposite box. From that box, she had to jump and pull herself up to another, then onto a low hanging rooftop. 

“Good! Now just a bit further..” Rin disliked using her glider in crowded areas. It usually brought about a lot of unwanted attention, and being a yordle in Piltover was also confusing to humans. Many would stare at her with raised eyebrows, whatever it is they saw in her was obviously slightly out of place. It made her rather uneasy, and she’d rather not explain what a yordle was to those who could not see. Nor would she want to break this facade in case she got in trouble and needed to hide. The sheriffs of Piltover were particularly aggravated with Rin on occasion due to the noise factor she created flying fast around the city. Rin began to use other footholds she was taught, bouncing around in an agile manner atop the roofs. From jutting beams that reached higher into the city, to pole lines and more, anything she could use to get further out and up. It was strange how well the weaving tops of buildings made a nice path for anyone to travel, had they a little stamina. She vaulted over a low rising wall and came up to the massive sides of the clock tower. Here, she clasped her hands together, mentally preparing herself for a climb. To be honest, Rin was slightly afraid of heights. She had to be careful not to look down as she began her ascent up the side of the tower. She felt much better if she used her glider, but she was trying to not cause a scene getting to the top. After some time and mentally psyching herself up, Rin made it to the brink just as the tower struck seven. The loud ringing of the bell was intense for her sensitive ears, being this close, but beautiful none the less. She let them pass before examining the magnificent outstretched view before her, the sun setting into the port near the gates. She took a few long, deep breaths, look up into the sky as she sat down to admire dusk setting in. It was nearing eight when she decided to move once more. “Always the best part...” Rin grinned as she stood, moving towards the edge of the building and looking below. It was dizzying, and her minor fear grasped her for but a moment until she called the hextech orbs to her side. She was several stories high now, not to mention, the clock tower looked down into the cracks of Zaun below. With one more deep breath and a spot of courage in her gut, she closed her eyes and tipped over the edge. The rush of wind met her as she began to fall. The world quickly moved into a blur of color, the only thing in focus being the grounds below. Rin allowed the free fall to continue for a little while, enjoying the sensation before pulling her goggles down over her eyes and grinning a wide, impish grin. “WHOOO! AAAAAAND... RELEASE!” The orbs floated patiently at her side, following her hands before being given their command. Her mind focused on the form, calling to the magical alignments in the crystals. They responded, burning a bright orange and yellow as they burst to life. The crystals quickly charged and released its energies as imagined, large shards of formulated light creating feathered like shapes. Rin formed herself into a dive, preparing to use her new propulsion from the transparent wings to send her into the skies. And so she did. The dive soon swooped upwards as she opened the wings and turned herself upwards. As she did, a board of light also formulated in a digital-esque way beneath her to give her posture. She took her position upon it, gaining her balance. The wings in place, the board acting as a tail feather for control. She soared into the skies, her heart almost forgetting to beat in its excitement as she now raced for the clouds above.  “LET’S GO!” She shouted to herself. The wings corresponded with her, pushing the energies behind it to lift her up. She climbed, higher, higher, and higher.. the city far below her now. She wanted to reach past the clouds. To see the stars. She waited for it, closing her eyes instinctively as she hit the moisture droplets that had settled on the dust in the atmosphere. When she would open her eyes once more, she’d find the result she had been looking for. The sky above was spotted with beautiful cosmos across a milky wave of colors. Rin let her wings dissipate, shattering into fragments of colored light. It added to the beautiful view she took in. It felt like she floated in this moment for ages until gravity began to pull her down once more. Moments like this is what she lived for.

[missyg143]

When I started out writing properly from around the age of 21 and now in my late 30s I can say I did not suck then and I do not suck now. This notion of sucking when you first start out writing is wrong. Not everyone will suck. Some may, but not all. In time you learn to craft how you write. Maturity also helps along the way. I know that from that young 21 year old writer, who's now in my late 30s has developed a mature style that I can truly say is mine.

Everyone's got to start from somewhere, but to instantly generalise and say that writers will suck when they first start writing is wrong. J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, Alex Garland and S.E. Hinton are but a few to name who clearly didn't suck. All their first books became instant bestsellers and turned into movies as well. What better way to have started a career in writing as an Author.

I agree just write, even if you do fall. Get back up and let those creative juices come pouring out of that mind of yours. That's what I do. Have faith and believe in your ability to convey a story onto paper conjured from the deep depths of your mind. Don't let critics pull you down or the weight of writer's block convince you that you are no good. I've had a friend or two tell me I got the facts wrong in my stories no matter how authentic I try to be. Come on give me a break. I'm only human. I've even entered dark times during my writer's block phase. I could have easily have given up. But I didn't. I had to bare the storm and batter the waves crashing against my inner brain and functioning body. Like a tempest gone wild throwing me whichever way it pleased. I just had to withstand it and let the storm in a teacup pass. It wasn't easy by no means, but I had to withhold that storm as it battered and bruised me, tossing and turning me like a rag doll on it's last legs fighting with every breath to get me through the storm.

For almost five years I didn't pick up a novel I had been writing. The novel was in it's infancy at the time and is still no way finished. But somewhere deep inside of me I had faith in my ability and in January 2018, I picked it up again with fresh eyes I feel rejuvenated and extremely excited to get it published one day.

I'm not writing by no means to become rich and famous. IF that happens along the way then so be it. But most importantly I'm writing for me. I have no set rule to writing. I just let the wind blow me in whichever direction it wishes to take me.

Some writers are disciplined writers who set time aside on a daily basis to write. Some even go as far as putting daily word limits to what they must achieve or set a particular time in the day to write as much as they can.

I'm certainly no disciplined writer. I just write when I feel my creative juices have peaked inside of me. It's creative intuition I feel at that particular moment in time. It's hard to explain how I really feel, but when I start writing I myself don't even know how many hours or how many words or even what part of the day I'm going to be writing. I just let it naturally flow.

Everyone has their own writing style and how they actually get there. Don't just follow a style or someone else's process. Follow your own style and process in getting there. Don't worry if you don't know at this stage what your style and process is. In time you will discover that for yourself, just like I discovered mine. Follow your own path to your own journey and know your worth as a writer.

Writing isn't for everyone. It can be a dark and lonely place, but if you believe enough in your storyline and your characters as you bring them to life you'll be fine. Just remember first drafts never end up looking like your final draft that gets published for the mass to read. Their maybe compromises along the way and hard choices to make. Just know that the bridges you cross and the dams you build should not cloud your judgment. You have to believe in the choices you make and not regret. Looking back only holds you back.

I have the faith and belief that one day I will have books published under my writer's name, Alena Sensei. Remember me, remember Alena Sensei.

-- To find out more about Alena Sensei go to https://missyg143.wordpress.com/2017/11/05/author

-- To access other blog pieces I have written mostly under the name of Missy G, go to 'Livin La Vida....' at https://www.missyg143.wordpress.com

#Writing #Writer #CreativeJuices #CreativeIntuition #AlenaSensei #LivinLaVida....

NOBODY ASKED ME FOR WRITING ADVICE BUT YOU’RE ALL GETTING IT ANYWAYS

Listen up. Listen. Listen to me. You wanna write? You wanna do fanfics? Poetry? Just whatever for yourself? Let me tell you something.

When you first start out you are gonna suck. You are gonna be terrible. In ten years your eyes are gonna burn when you read it back. You’re probably gonna be clunky in one way or another. You will fumble through the dark trying to find your style and you will fall and break your nose more than once.

But don’t let that stop you. Get up, dust yourself off, and spit that blood out and keep going. Keep writing. Keep reading and pay attention as you read. Read bad writers especially. I cannot stress how important it is to read absolutely terrible writing. That teaches you more then the good stuff ever could.

And one day you’re gonna realize that you’re never gonna be like your favorite writers and never have the same magic that they do and let me tell you right now that is GREAT. It is wonderful. It is stupendous. You know why? Because that makes you different. The magic is yours and nobody else’s. Don’t ever aim to be just like somebody else because that somebody already exists. We’ve got one of them. Do your thing. Your thing is nice and fresh and new and tasty. Use your own words because only you can use your words.

And any and all writing advice you get, even the advice I’m giving you now, could work for you or not. If somebody says you have to write 1000 words a day and you can barely get out ten one day, that’s fine. If you can’t write for months and then suddenly write ten million words that works. That works. Just write. Do what works for you. Some people can write any time of day anywhere at any time with any kind of writing device and others can only write on Tuesday evenings on a typewriter with blue ink as classical music plays in their basement and they burn a peppermint candle. And there’s everywhere in between. Whatever you have to do to write, do it.

Just. Write. Fall down a few times. Figure some things out. Listen to writing advice but don’t take any of it as the word of God. Just do the thing. You’ll get better if you just do the thing. And read. Read terrible things and good things and so-so things and write all of those things too. Don’t be afraid to suck, listen to constructive criticism, and do what you want. DO WHAT YOU WANT. DON’T BE AFRAID TO SUCK. HAVE. FUN. DO THE THING.