#I had to drive to my parents’ house for Easter dinner anyway but I’m staying late since they have cable and I don’t LOL

[potato-on-your-head]

The Owl House series finale airs tonight so blacklist ‘the owl house’ and/or ‘toh spoilers’ if you don’t want to see my spam starting at 12:20 am EST

[achillestiel]

the parent trap only works if you’re identical | part five (if this get’s any longer I’m putting it on ao3)

Tag List: @littlerachelbee @imthedoctorlove @deancas-handprint @castiel-loves-dean @wanderermatthews @thelahatiel @priscillahc @mridzyp @multi-fandom-dark-lord @thefantasyfiend @harmonyhelms @imlivingliferightnow ​ @kara-merlin @still-clowning-in-this-house @never-forever-more @continuezmesfilserrants @2musiclover2 @castiels-bitch @stjimmie @cmths5

“Well thank you for dinner but we should probably be heading out.” Dean said towards the end of one of, if not the most, awkward dinner of his life.

“Dad what about dessert?”

“Claire, we need to get going. It’s a long drive back to Kansas.” Dean said, sighing internally because he knew getting Claire out the damn house was going to be hard. 

“Dean, don't be ridiculous. You’ve been driving for most of the day.” Cas said. “We have the spare bedroom-”

“That’s my room!” Gabriel interrupted. 

“It’s not your room Gabriel. It’s the guest room. You have your own house with your own bedroom.” Cas said, giving Gabriel the bitchiest look Dean had ever seen. That was saying a lot seeing as he’d grown up with Sam. “Dean, why don’t you and Claire stay here for the night? Claire can sleep in Jack’s room and you can sleep in the guest room.” Cas suggested. Claire and Jack grinned at each other and Dean just knew they'd stay up half the night whispering to each other. Or plotting. Most likely plotting.  

No. Nope, Absolutely not going to happen in a million goddamn years. 

“Cas, we can just grab a motel if I get tired.” 

“Dad, I’m not staying in a motel if we can stay here.” Claire said stubbornly. “Plus Jack and I were already planning on making waffles in the morning!” Oh, Jesus Christ. These kids were going to be the death of Dean. And damn if both Claire and Jack weren’t giving him the puppy dog eyes. 

 “Fine. Fine. But we’re heading out in the morning Claire, I mean it.”

“After waffles.” Claire and Jack said in unison. When the hell did those two learn how to do that?

“Excellent, now that’s all sorted I’m going to head home as Winchester’s stolen my room. All the wine is gone anyways.” Gabriel asked, slapping his hand on his thighs as he got out of his seat

“See you in the morning Uncle Gabriel.” Claire said with a grin as Gabriel patted her on the head, ruffled Jack’s hair and gave both Dean and Cas pointed looks.  

“Good night Gabriel.” Cas said, giving his brother a stern look Dean didn’t understand. 

“Same to you bro. Good to see you Winchester, try not to keep this madam a stranger.” Gabriel said, nodding towards Claire.

“I’ll try.” Dean said, mainly to placate Gabriel. Gabriel gave them all a salute before heading out. “Nice to see Gabriel hasn’t changed at all.” Dean said once Gabriel had left. 

“No, he’s still the same annoying ass he’s always been.” Cas said. 

“I like him! He’s invited us to Thanksgiving this year.” Claire said. Yeah that’s not happening. Dean thought. 

“I’m going to teach Claire my secret yam recipe.” Jack said cheerfully. 

“Ah yes, Jack Novak’s secret yam recipe. Involving two whole bags of miniature marshmallows and a ruined casserole dish.” Cas said, shaking his head but giving Jack a fond look. 

“Sounds about as successful as when Claire tried to make apple pie on for Father’s Day.”

“What did you set on fire that time?” Jack asked Claire. Claire could stick her tongue out all she wanted but there were still scorch marks in their kitchen. 

“Yes well, Jack why don’t you and Claire clear up while Dean and I have a quick chat. After that, you can show Claire where she’s sleeping for the night. You two can watch a movie in your room.”

“Cool, how’d you feel about The Avengers?”

“Black Widow is a badass.” Claire said. “Rock, paper, scissors for who washes and who dries?” she then asked. 

“Oh Jesus.” Dean muttered as Cas motioned for him to follow him. Instead of going into the warm looking living room, Cas took Dean upstairs and into a spacious guest room. The walls were painted a deep, honey colour that matched the wooden furniture perfectly. Unlike Dean’s guest room, which was really a junk room, it was immaculately clean. Dean was about to make a quip about the cleanliness of the room before he stopped. In the corner of the room was the very turntable he had brought Cas for the first Christmas they had been together. Without saying a word, Dean walked over and glanced at the records neatly stored in their storage box. Bob Dylan, Fleetwood Mac and even the rare Otis Reading record that Dean had found at a vinyl fair. Cas had kept all of them. For a fleeting moment, Dean wondered if the note he’d hidden in the Bob Dylan record was still there. A hastily scribbled note saying I wasn't born to lose you. Oh, the irony. 

-

Cas watched with cautious eyes as Dean ran a hand over the box of records. Each one Dean had carefully picked out for Cas in another life. He had battled over getting rid of them for years. Gabriel had always said it was strange to keep hold of them but Cas could have never parted with them. When Jack was a toddler Cas had played all of them for him, smiling to himself at how Knocking On Heaven’s Door would always send Jack to sleep. 

“I think we need to have a talk.” Cas said, trying to ease the tension that had enveloped the room. 

“Um yeah.” Dean said with a cough as he straightened up, looking away from the records. “Cause apparently I’m cancelling my Thanksgiving plans with Sam to spend the day with my ex-brother-in-law, eating my body weight in mini marshmallows.” Dean said. “Cas...what are we going to do about this?”

“And by this you mean…”

“The kids. There’s no way Claire’s going to just go back to how it was before. Plus, Jack is an awesome kid. There’s no way I want to go back to how it was before. I mean, maybe Jack could stay with me during the summer?”

“And what? I get Claire during Easter? Christmas?” Cas asked, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. “We came up with this arrangement so the kids could live a normal life. What’s going to happen next, I have them for one year and you have them for the other? That won’t work.”

“No shit Cas but...did you see those two at dinner? They’ve only known each other for a few weeks but it’s clear they adore each other. Claire’s gonna be an even bigger pain in my ass after this. I don’t want to break my...our daughter’s heart when we separate them again and I’m sure you dont want that for Jack.”

“Of course I don’t! What do you honestly suggest then because not only did we come to this agreement to have the kids lead normal lives but it was also so we didn’t have to see each other.” Cas said because even though neither of them would say it, they both knew that seeing each other again would end in a huge fight and a lot of sex. 

"Then why did you ask me to stay?" Dean asked. Good question Dean, very good question. 

"Because it's late and you can't drive throughout the night when you've been driving all day." Cas said. Liar a small voice inside Cas said. As much as he annoys you, you still love him. 

"Oh." Dean said in a small voice. 

"Why? What do you expect me to say?"

"Nothing...forget it." Dean said. “You know, now that we’re here and I’ll probably never be here again. About that day you packed, why'd you do it? Why did you just hop on a train and leave?”

“Dean.” Cas groaned. “We were so young. We both had tempers, we said stupid things so I packed. Got on the train and you didn't come after me.”

“I wanted to but I didn’t think you’d want me to follow.” Dean said in a small voice. “Dammit Cas, you just had to send Jack to the exact same camp as Claire didn’t you? ”

“We haven’t spoken in twelve years, how on earth was I supposed to know where you were sending Claire for the summer? It might shock you to hear this but I can’t read your damn mind Dean. I didn’t send Jack there because a little voice in my head said ‘Oh Dean is sending Claire to this camp! Send Jack so he can meet the twin sister he never knew he had.’” Cas said.  "You are so infuriating, you know that right?”

"I'm infuriating?” Dean asked, looking highly offended. “What about the time you recorded over my Star Trek episode with a documentary on the life of Tomas Jefferson?"

"You have the whole series on DVD! Why did you need to record it off the SyFy channel?"

"You know why! It was the Trouble With Tribbles episode and that was on the DVD that Sam scratched when I let him borrow it!" Dean shot back. 

"Well, you set fire to the patio furniture! Don't even say you didn't because Eileen told me it was you and Sam the next morning." Cas said.

"You scratched the Impala!"

"That wasn't me, it was Gabriel. I lied and said it was me because he was already on his last warning from when he spilt red wine on the couch." 

"Yeah well, you did break my Captain Kirk mug." 

"No Dean, the asinine way you stacked kitchen items broke your Captain Kirk mug." 

"Yeah well, you...you…" Dean said and something inside Cas just broke. This man, this irritating and stubborn man had been the love of his life, his husband and the man he wanted to spend this rest of his life with. Twelve years hadn’t changed a damn thing. 

"Oh for god sake Dean, shut up." Cas said and even though he knew this was the worst plan in the world, even worse than his non-identical twins switching places, Cas pulled Dean in close, their lips crashing against one another. Oh god, it was like going home after a long trip. Cas knew this, knew it better than breathing. Cas still loved Dean more than anyone else in the history of the universe. 

"Cas this is the dumbest-" Dean tried to say between kisses. Frantic kisses that set Cas’ skin ablaze.

"Just shut up and take off your pants." Cas said before his brain could come up with a million reasons why this was a stupid idea. 

“What?”

“Dean, shut up and take off your pants.” Cas said before crashing their lips together again in a kiss that was more like a battle for dominance than anything else. 

“I can’t take off my pants if you keep kissing me.” Dean said as he pulled away and Cas just groaned because this man drove him so insane but all Cas wanted to do was kiss every inch of his body. "This is the worst idea ever."

"Worse than when you let Jo pierce your lip?" Cas asked. He could still the slight scar on Dean’s bottom lip. 

"That was not as bad as the time you wanted to make your own honey." 

"One bee flew in the house Dean, one."

"Bees don't belong in a house Cas, they belong in a beehive."

"Are you really trying to start an argument when we're about to have sex?" Cas asked. Thankfully Dean shook his head. "Good, now take off your clothes and get on the bed."

-

With The Avengers to mask the sound, Claire and Jack sat in Jack’s room as they called their Uncle Sam. After a few rings, he accepted the video call. Grinning at the pair of them with a warm smile.

"Hey kids...man it's weird seeing you two together. How's it going?" Sam asked. 

"Awesome. We made chilli and got them to sit in the same room." Claire said. 

Well, that's something Eileen signed. So what's the plan? 

Plan?

Yeah, the plan. You two are definitely up to something because Claire's involved. 

Why do you always think I'm up to something? Claire asked. 

Intuition

"Past experience." Sam intoned. "Where’re your dads now?”

“Guest room we think, we heard shouting in there about ten minutes ago.”Jack said. “Something about tribbles.”

“Is he still on about that?” Sam groaned. Just out of view on the screen, Eileen signed something to Sam. He groaned and signed back. 

“Hey! Winchester family rule, no covert signing.” Claire said. Sam looked back at her with a classic Uncle Sam Bitchy Face. “What did you say?”

“Ugh.” Sam said. “Fine, your aunt said that if they’re fighting there’s good chance they’ll end up having sex.”

“Ew! Gross!” Jack and Claire said at the same time. “Those are our dads.” Claire said, wrinkling her nose. 

“Yeah? And how do you think you two were made?”

“With a turkey baster and a very patient surrogate.” Claire shot back. “Wait...if they do...you know...do gross stuff, does that mean they’ll get back together?”

Going from past experience, no. They’ll just fight and make noises that, according to your uncle, only dogs can hear.

“That’s really gross Aunt Eileen.” Jack said. “As far as a plan goes, we don’t really have one. Come on, we’re twelve. We need help and Uncle Gabriel has gone home.”

“Good, his plan would have been awful.” Sam said. “Look kids, I know damn well that Dean still loves Cas and judging from what you’ve told us, Cas probably still loves Dean. Just let them fight it out, turn whatever movie you’re watching way up and see how things are in the morning. I know these two idiots pretty well, you can’t force them into anything.”

“We can’t play the long game here Uncle Sam. Dad’s making us leave in the morning.”

“After waffles.”

“Yeah, after waffles I’ll be shoved in the car and grounded until graduate.” Claire said. The four of them sat in silence for a moment before Eileen’s face lit up. 

Ok I have a plan but if it backfires then you do not get it from me. Claire, do you remember how to disable the battery on the Impala? 

“Yeah, I remember...oh...no car means not having to leave.” Claire said with a grin. “Aunt Eileen, you are a genius and never let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“I want no part in this part of the plan.” Sam said hastily. 

“Too late Uncle Sam, welcome to Team Parent Trap.” Jack said happily.     

[purplesurveys]

1197

survey by ohsh1t2wksl8

Layers

Layer 1: The Basics

Name: Since there’ve been several people who’ve followed me recently anyway, HI I’m Robyn.

Age: 23.

Birthday: April 21st.

Gender: Female.

Zodiac Sign: Taurus.

Layer 2: Your Family

Do you have any brothers or sisters? Yes, I have one of each.

Do you have any pets? Yup, two dogs.

Do you still live with your parents? I do. I’m not in a rush.

Do you have any stepparents? Nope.

How many cousins do you have? 11 first cousins. Throwing my second cousins into the mix would dramatically increase the number and I don’t feel like counting rn.

Layer 3: Your Friends

Who is your best friend? Angela and Andi.

Who have you been friends with the longest? Angela and I have been friends for 16 years and it’s stronger as ever these days because of our mutual love for BTS hehe.

What do you like to do with your friends? It really depends! There’s no one thing I like doing most with any of them; as long as I’m with them I’d consider it time well spent.

Do you have more friends online or in real life? Real life. It’s hard to form friendships online once nearly everyone starts becoming younger than you.

What is a good way to make friends with others? One thing I learned is that you have to be okay to initiate, and that’s not really something I like doing all the time.

Layer 4: Your Home

Do you live in a home, apartment, duplex, trailer, etc? I live in a house.

How many rooms are there in your house? There are 4 bedrooms and 5 other kinds of rooms – that’s 2 bathrooms, the living room, dining room, and kitchen.

Is your home large or small? I’d say it’s medium-sized. It’s not small that I feel cramped or inadequate, but it’s also nowhere near a mansion. It’s very comfortable for a family of 5.

What is your favorite room in your house, and why? Rooftop. My family barely goes there (and what a shame they don’t), so it’s a nice place to go to when I want to be alone but can’t get out of the house. Not to mention that it’s open-air and windy there, so whenever I feel as if I’m getting cooked inside I can always depend on the rooftop.

Do you prefer having people over to your house, or would you rather go to theirs? I’d rather go to theirs. Our house is really deep into the village and is a challenge to get to, especially if you’re unfamiliar with the general area.

Layer 5: Can You

Can you fold your tongue into the taco shape? Yes, but that’s the furthest it can go. I can’t really bend or twist it into shapes more complex than that.

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? Nah, I lost that ability years ago. I didn’t make the most out of my flexibility back when I still had it.

Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue? I never tried.

Can you hold up your end of a physical fight? I bet I can’t.

Can you do any yo-yo tricks? No, I was always terrible at the yo-yo.

Layer 6: Who

Who inspires you the most, and why? I don’t have any ~inspirations. I do like looking up to whoever my current obsession is – be it Rhett and Link, Paramore, BTS, etc. – to help me be happy and have something to smile at, but I try not to let any of them govern every single aspect of my life.

Who helps you maintain your sanity? My best friends. And these days, surprise surprise! – BTS.

Who do you go to most often for advice? Depends on the topic; I always run to either of my best friends. If I need a collective opinion, I go to my college friend group’s group chat.

Who knows you better than you know yourself? At one point it had been Gabie, but *shrug* Nowadays, the person who knows me best would probably be Andi.

Who is someone that you would die or put your life on the line for, no questions asked? Any of my friends.

Layer 7: Do you

Do you still eat sandwiches without the crusts? Nah - I’ve grown to be a fan of the crusts. I used to make my grandma slice them off as a kid or else I wouldn’t even think of touching the sandwich; then something changed as I got older and now I absolutely have to have the crust. At home, I even call dibs on the first and last pieces of bread (the ones that are all crust) whenever we get a new pack of sliced bread.

Do you typically finish your meal at a restaurant, or need to take a container home? I usually ask for it to be packed up for takeout.

Do you pull an Oreo apart in order to eat it? No, I just bite into it.

Do you read a lot of gossip magazines? As a kid/teenager. I’m over that now.

Do you make friends easily? I’m not the biggest social butterfly, but I’m also not super closed off. I’ll be happy to talk to anyone who approaches me.

Layer 8: How Many?

How many people live in your house with you? Four.

How many pets have you had in your lifetime? In my lifetime...I guess a good rough estimate would be somewhere around 10? I’ll never know exactly how many we’ve had since I never kept track of how many goldfish we kept.

How many tries does it take you to become successful at something? Depends. I never learned how to ride a bike even if I’ve pushed myself to practice ever since I was 5, but there are other things I’m able to pick up easily.

How many meals do you eat a day? One, dinner.

How many people can you honestly tolerate? This isn’t really an issue to me haha, I like being around people and my patience around them is usually long.

Layer 9: How

How do you typically get to school or work? I work from home at the moment and probably would for a little while longer; but if things were different, I would be driving myself.

How do you deal with a breakup? When I was going through mine, I was stupidly stubborn at first and refused any form of help. I deactivated all my social media and shut both my best friends out; it even got to a point where mutual friends were beginning to ask Andi where I’ve been as I’ve “disappeared off the face of the Earth” (an actual quote they relayed to me). I cried day in and day out, cried during my shifts, stayed holed up in my room; and I skipped hundreds of meals, sometimes not eating all day. It wasn’t a good place to be in.

But I knew I was on the right path to recovering the moment I reached out to friends again and acknowledged that I needed help. I started to help myself, too; I cut the person off slowly, and I started to look for new things to get into, new hobbies to invest in. I let my friends give me tough love and show me the reality of my situation, and I listened this time around. I don’t know what drove me to make a sudden change in my life but I’m really glad I came around to the decision, because I’m happier than ever these days.

How do you like to help others? All sorts of ways. I always want to make others’ lives a little easier.

How do you know when you’ve found “the one”? I don’t trust that instinct anymore.

How do you sleep in bed? On my side, clutching a pillow. No pillow to hug, no sleep.

Layer 10: What

What do you think happens when we die? That I just fall asleep for a very long time.

What do you do if there’s no toilet paper left on the roll and you’re already peeing? Turn around and hope there is at least a bidet in the stall.

What do you eat most often? Rice.

What toys did you enjoy most as a child? Anything with a lot of buttons or features to play around with, like detailed dollhouses.

What do you do if you witness someone being awful to someone else? Intervene, for the most part.

Layer 11: Where

Where is your favorite place to eat out? BGC has great ambience and restaurant choices, but it’s been a while since I’ve been there. I also still feel weird about the place since Gabie and I had dates there pretty often, sooooo I really ought to make new memories there with new people once I can.

Where is the place that has the best ice cream in your area? We don’t really have places known for ice cream...most people just buy pints or tubs of them at the grocery lol.

Where did you meet your current or last significant other? School.

Where can you be found at 7 PM. typically? Wrapping up work in my room.

Where can you find the best French fries? Potato Corner.

Layer 12: When

When did you find out the truth about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy? Never believed in the first two. Tooth Fairy I lost hope in when I placed a tooth under my pillow when I was around 6 or 7 and woke up to nothing.

When do you typically fall asleep? Early hours of the morning tbh. I’d sleep anywhere between 1-4 AM these days.

When was the last time that someone paid you a compliment? Kata and I often make sure to compliment one another for our hard work by the end of particularly grueling shifts.

When do you feel most comfortable? Friday nights when I’m sure I can finally close my work group chats for the next two days.

When did you last go to the bathroom? Around an hour or so ago.

Layer 13: Why

Why do you enjoy taking surveys so much? It’s a stress reliever that has never failed me, and it lets me answers quirky random questions no one would ever have to ask me.

Why do people gossip so much? For one, probably the thrill of knowing something that's meant to be a thing.

Why can’t humans fly? It wouldn’t have been a necessity, I’m guessing.

Why aren’t you doing something else right now? Because I just spent the last 24 hours streaming Butter on Spotify and YouTube to raise views and plays for the boys, and taking this survey is actually the first thing I’ve done all day after taking a quick nap this afternoon to recover from all the streaming I did hahaha.

Why is the sky blue? I don’t know.

Layer 14: If…

If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on? Buy chocolate chips because I’m craving them rn; get all BTS merch in one go; give a chunk to my parents; keep the rest.

If you found out someone was cheating on you, would you ever take them back? I don’t really have consistency when it comes to this situation. I know I definitely would’ve been stupid enough to stay with Gab if she hypothetically cheated on me while we were still together; I’m not sure if I’d stay when it comes to another person entirely.

If you found a wallet with cash in the street, including identification, would you turn it in? Why or why not? Yeah, I’d look for the owner. I’m not that desperate for money, personally.

If you could have any food right now, what would you like?   SUSHI.

If you found out that the world was going to end tomorrow, how would you spend your last day? Go to the mall and get some much-needed air, then probably drop off some japchae and tteokbokki at Angela’s place.

Layer 15: Firsts

When did you lose your first tooth? I was in Prep and it actually fell out while I was in school. We were having storytime and I had to interrupt the session to tell my teacher it was starting to feel loose, so she got me some tissues to help me get it out.

Who was your first teacher that you ever had? Her name was Kathy. I don’t really have any substantial memories of her because I was 4 lmao, but I know she was nice.

When did you first learn how to ride a bike? ...Still learning...

When was the first time you had sex? Like a day or two after turning 18.

Did your first birthday have a theme to it? Not necessarily but my parents threw me a party at Jollibee, so it kinda had to be Jollibee-themed lol.

Layer 16: Lasts

Last person you texted: I don’t feel like checking because it was most definitely a work-related text and I don’t want to be reminded of work on a Sunday, but it was a media person. 

Last drink you sipped: The last of my coffee.

Last time you rode a bike: Like, March last year when the pandemic had still been fresh and I thought I could use all the free time to finally learn how to ride a bike. Absolute clownery.

Last time you swam in a pool: August 2019.

Last person you hugged: Not sure. Angela, I think.

Layer 17: Favorites

Favorite Color: I think pastel pink is still taking the lead for me.

Favorite Season: We don’t have the usual four seasons, but I do have a liking for winter. It just seems very cozy for me.

Favorite Shape: I don’t have one.

Favorite Letter: Mmmmm, don’t really have one of these either.

Favorite Number: 4 or 7.

Layer 18: This or That

Pepsi or Coke? I don’t drink softdrinks.

Movies or Television? Movies, but I haven’t really been watching much of either recently.

Phone or Tablet? Phone. Haven’t used a tablet in yearrrrrsssssss.

Fruits or Vegetables? Veggies. Hate fruits.

Animals or Humans? I think I like both an equal amount.

Layer 19: Which

Which Poke’mon is your favorite? Chikorita.

Which day of the week is your favorite? Friday, because of course.

Which birthday celebration was the most memorable for you? My 18th, even though out of all the friends I celebrated my birthday with I only have one of them left in my life. I know I was happy during that time so I wouldn’t invalidate that experience for myself.

Which holiday is your favorite? Christmas, only for the sheer amount of food I get to have.

Which shoe do you put on first? I always switch it up, I’m pretty sure. I don’t have a particular habit.

Layer 20: Love Life/Relationships

What is the name of your first love? Gabie.

How many times can you honestly say you’ve been in love? Once.

Have you ever been in a relationship before that was abusive in any way? After being able to take a step back and analyzing it deeper, yes.

Have you ever been engaged or married before? Nope.

Do you have any children? I don’t.

Layer 21: Jobs, Dreams, & Goals

What did you want to be when you grew up (as a little kid)? I couldn’t decide among being an astronaut, firefighter, or veterinarian.

What do you aspire to be now? What interests you? I realized I wanted to be in the field of media and public relations, and that’s where I am now. I like being able to use my writing skills for something I find fun and fulfilling, instead of rotting away in a newsroom writing news I’m usually too sensitive for.

What is the most recent goal you’ve achieved? I got regularized! :)

What is a goal you are still striving to reach? A salary increase would be nice, and then a promotion down the road would also be awesome.

Have you ever won any sort of awards before? If so, for what? Sure. I was consistently on the honor roll in college and graduated with Latin honors, if those count as awards.

Layer 22: Opinions & Beliefs

Pro-life or pro-choice? Pro-choice.

Were you raised with any sort of religious background? If so, then what? Yesss, I was and am raised in a Catholic household. Weirdly enough my parents have grown more laidback in the last few years and my mom no longer berates us for not doing the sign of the cross when we pray before eating (my siblings have taken after me and refuse to do it as well). No idea what sparked that change but I’m just glad I never have to do gestures like that one anymore.

Democrat, Republican, or Independent? We don’t have the same parties here.

For or against the death penalty? This is a very complicated web and for reasons largely relevant to my country and the issues we have, I am mostly against it.

Thoughts on assisted suicide? I am ok with it as long as there is consent involved. 

Layer 23: Currently/Today/Present

What day is it? It’s Sunday again, blegh.

What’s the weather like outside? Sunny.

What have you eaten? Just a Fudgee Bar so far but I’m having breakfast with my family in an hour or so.

Did you run any errands? Well it’s only 8:37 AM so not yet, but one or two might come up throughout the day.

What time is it? 8:38 now.

Layer 24: Yesterday

Did you have a work shift? No, I don’t work Saturdays.

Did you eat out anywhere? No :( I’ve wanted to for a while, though. Maybe I might today, actually – they’ve loosened up quarantine protocols so restaurants have opened up again. Let’s see if I’ll feel like driving today.

Was it snowing? It doesn’t snow here.

Who did you last say goodnight to? Cooper.

Did anything unusual happen? It rained and there was cold breeze during the evening.

Layer 25: Tomorrow

Do you have to go to school/class? No, but I do have to go to work.

Does this day have any sort of significance to you? May 24...I don’t think so. Nothing comes to mind.

What is a chore that needs to get done? My veeeeeeery long list of to-do tasks that I’m trying not to think about rn.

Will you hang out with friends? No chance of that happening.

What time will you be expected to be awake by? 9 AM.

Layer 26: Have You Ever

Performed a magic trick successfully? I don’t think so.

Sat or laid on a rooftop and looked at the stars? I’m at the rooftop all the time but I only occasionally lie down to look at the stars.

Walked around with your underwear on inside out or backwards all day without realizing it? Nope.

Touched a snake? Yep. I’ve had one wrapped around me before, too.

Been bitten by an animal? If so, what animal? Just by ants and mosquitoes.

Layer 27: School Life

Are preschool and kindergarten mandatory where you live? Not sure about mandatory but I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of people who went straight to first grade as kids, either because of advanced intelligence or financial limitations.

Were you or anyone you knew homeschooled? I have one set of cousins who are all homeschooled; and I also used to have classmates who eventually transferred out of my school to be homeschooled instead.

Did you attend public or private school? Private.

Were you bullied in school, popular, or somewhere in-between? I was a loner for the most part, but after befriending the popular groups in high school I kind of got dragged into that scene as well.

What is the highest level of education that you completed? Undergraduate degree.

Layer 28: Your Appearance

Eye Color: Dark brown/black.

Hair Color: Black.

Height: 5′1″.

Weight: A little under 100 lbs.

Do you have freckles, moles, beauty marks, or birthmarks - and where? I have moles on my right arm, under my jaw, near my left knee, and under my left boob. I have a birthmark behind my left shoulder.

Layer 29: Electronics, Internet, & Social Media

How much time do you spend on the internet per day? Hahahah yeesh, way to put me on the spot. I wanna say anywhere between 16-18 hours? I’m online the second I wake up until the moment I turn in for bed.

Which social media platforms do you belong to? Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr.

When’s the last time you replaced the batteries in your television remote? 4975493875495743 years ago.

Are you more likely to stream movies and shows on your laptop, or cast them to your television? Laptop.

Do you have an e-reader, or do you prefer actual books? I don’t read regularly anymore, but I’ve never liked reading from a screen. I prefer a physical book as much as possible.

Layer 30: Are You

Are you still in school? No. I’m not opposed to grad school either, but it has to be a REALLY REALLY REALLY fucking great opportunity for me to sink my teeth into it. We’re talking getting accepted to grad school in like Spain or NYU; otherwise I wouldn’t take it.

Are you a member of the LGBTQ+ community? Yes.

Are you looking forward to anything coming soon? Festa month!

Are you dreading anything coming soon? Work tomorrow.

Are you gullible or naive? I can be both.

Layer 31: Does

Does your workplace make you feel like you can never take a day off without feeling guilty about it? Not at all. I’m really grateful they take vacation leaves seriously; we even have a Mental Health Break Day scheduled two Fridays from now. Purely a company thing.

Does someone currently hold the key to your heart? Kim Taehyung... :/

Does anyone out there hate you? Idk and I couldn’t give less of a shit if anyone does.

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? No.

Does crying make you feel less strong? Nope. It took me a while to realize it, but acknowledging feelings and processing them is actually one of the strongest things you can do for yourself. 

Layer 32: Would You

Do the Polar Bear Plunge? Idk what that is.

Ever try to walk across a room blindfolded? I’ve done it before, so sure.

Swim with sharks? As long as I’m surrounded with experts, yes.

Go into outer space, given the chance? In a heartbeat.

Go out in public, looking how you do right now? Nope.

Layer 33: Pets/Animals

Do you have any pets? If so, what type, and their names… Yesss. There’s Kimi who’s an aspin, and Cooper the beagle.

If not, what type of pet have you always wanted?

What is your favorite animal? Dogs and elephants :)

Do you think it is cruel to have circus animals? Yes, or having animals do tricks for show, in general. I always discourage my parents from booking tickets to animal theme parks when we plan vacations.

How often do you walk your dog, if you have one? How often do you scoop the litterbox, if you have a cat? Every week.

Layer 34: Food

What is your favorite breakfast item? Fried rice.

What is your favorite kind of dessert? Macarons and cheescake.

Do you eat all three meals everyday? Nah. I have one meal on weekdays, and two meals on some weekends.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without food? Around 24 hours.

What do you like to eat when you are feeling sick? Greasy things haha. If I’m feeling like death, might as well be having good food.

Layer 35: Past

Does your past ever come back to haunt you at times? Not really.

What is one of your favorite memories of the past? Spending my college years with the right people.

What is something that you used to do in the past, but no longer do? Harm myself.

If you could have a meal with someone from the past, who would it be, and what would you ask them? Audrey Hepburn, but I don’t really have a question for her. It would just be nice to get to spend a few minutes with her.

Which historical time period would you like to go back to and check out? Precolonial Philippines.

Layer 36: Future

Do you think you will ever get married one day? It’s definitely a lovely scenario to have but I’m really unsure about it at the moment just because there’s no one I have in mind and I have no plans to start dating around again soon.

Do you plan on ever getting a different job in the future, or are you happy with the one you’ve got? I’m happy with the one I have and I don’t see it changing any time soon.

What age do you plan to retire at? Or do you plan on working til you’re dead? Probably the latter haha.

What is something on your bucket list worth mentioning? Going to Wrestlemania.

If given the opportunity to see how your future plays out, would you take it, or no? Yes.

Layer 37: Hygiene

How often do you shower? Once daily. Twice if it’s stupidly hot during the day.

How often do you brush your teeth? Once or twice a day.

Do you actually iron any of your clothes? Mm, not really. But if I was planning on wear something that gets easily crumpled, I iron that in advance.

How often do you do laundry? I’m not in charge of laundry.

How long do you use a bath towel before switching it out? Around 1–2 weeks.

Layer 38: Clothing, Makeup, & Style

Do you wear nail polish? If so, how often do you paint your nails? Nah.

How would your describe your sense of style? I like sticking with trends as long as I feel comfortable in them.

Are there any popular trends that you do not find appealing? Just makeup in general.

Where do you typically buy your clothing from? Local small businesses or H&M. 

What sorts of accessories do you wear/use? I don’t really invest in them, but I wanna start buying more headbands, bucket hats, and earrings.

Layer 39: Hobbies

Do you still color, even as an adult? Occasionally.

Do you/would you like to crochet, knit, cross-stitch, etc? Yeaaah I do embroidery but I’ve stopped for a while since finding other interests and hobbies to dabble in. I have no plans to ditch it completely though; I’ll come back to it when the time is right.

What’s the last thing you crafted all by yourself? Not sure.

Do you use Pinterest at all? Nope.

What’s the last thing that you cooked or baked? Lol.

Layer 40: Dislikes

List some of your pet peeves here. Driving slowly on lanes intended for overtaking; taking too much of my food; being subtle about asking for favors.

What are some things that annoy you about yourself? Easily punishing myself for mistakes, no matter how small; I also find that putting others first before myself 100% of the time can sometimes end up being an inconvenience for myself.

Is there anyone out there who you actually hate? Who? Nope.

What is a feeling that you dislike? “I should have done/said this.” Not sure what feeling this falls under (maybe helplessness?), but having these thoughts irritate me to no end especially if I can’t do anything about the situation.

Do you get some ugly road rage while driving? Yep.

Layer 41: Random

Have you ever successfully pogo’ed on a pogo stick? Nah, I’ve never even seen one in real life. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been dying to try getting on one lol. 

Have you ever mastered the jump rope? I wouldn’t say I’m a master, but I can do the basic jumps and last a long time doing them.

Do you know what it feels like to be truly happy? I don’t know if I’ve determined this already; I have a lot of years ahead of me and lots of experiences I’ve yet to go through.

Is it winter in your part of the world right now? No.

What’s your favorite type of survey, and why? Random ones or ones with categories, like this one.

Layer 42: Music

What are some of your favorite genres of music? Alternative, folk indie, punk rock, R&B...and BTS.

What are some music genres that you can’t stand? Country, screamo, techno.

If you had a blank pair of concert tickets, who would you hope to be going to see? Any one of my holy trinity: Paramore, Beyoncé, or BTS.

Do you still listen to music on the radio from time to time? Not anymore, come to think of it. I’m completely unaware of the Top 40 space right now, and have been for a while.

iTunes, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, or YouTube? Spotify.

Layer 43: Books

What were some of your favorite books as a child? The Septimus Heap series and the Percy Jackson series.

What genre of books do you typically read most often? Memoirs.

What are some of your favorite books as an adult? I don’t read anymore.

What is a book that you were required to read for school that you actually enjoyed? Hands down, Without Seeing the Dawn. I remember fairly enjoying Charlotte’s Web and Number the Stars as well.

Do you read any newspapers or magazines anymore? No.

Layer 43: Around the World

Where’s the best place you’ve taken a vacation and/or day trip to? Jeju, South Korea; Bali, Indonesia; Palawan; Batanes; and Boracay.

Where is somewhere that you’d like to go someday, assuming you have the funds to do so? Seoul, South Korea.

Where do your family members originate from? Just Philippines.

What is your favorite type of ethnic cuisine? All Asian cuisines. Each of them is so unique and always has something new to discover.

What is something that is typically representative of your own culture? Jollibee? Hahaha.

Layer 44: Would you Rather…

Drink apple juice or grape juice? Apple.

Wear pants or shorts? Shorts, as much as possible.

Be taller or shorter? Taller.

Go to a zoo or an aquarium? Neither if possible.

Visit an art gallery or a museum? Museum.

Layer 45: Movies

Do you remember what the first movie was that you saw in theaters? Stuart Little 2 when I was 4.

What are some of your favorite movies you’ve seen? Two for the Road, Gone with the Wind, Roman Holiday, Revolutionary Road, Toy Story, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Room.

What genre of movie do you typically enjoy? Drama.

What is a movie you’ve seen that you weren’t expecting to like, but were pleasantly surprised? Requiem For A Dream, but maybe remove ‘pleasantly.’ Anomalisa is also a good answer for this.

How many movies do you own? Are they all DVD’s, or do you still have some VHS ones left? I just watch them on Netflix, haha.

Layer 46: Personality

Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? I’m really more of an ambivert than anything else. I can deal with alone time and more social days equally well.

Are you more easygoing and laid back, or anal? Again, I can be both depending on the situation.

Are you kind to everyone who shows that they deserve kindness? Yes.

Describe your sense of humor. I can laugh over anything from dad jokes to crackhead memes.

Do you tend to over-share? Not really. I tend to have a good sense of how much I should share depending on the person/group I’m with.

Layer 47: Celebrities

Which celebrity has given their child the most unique name, in your opinion? I mean, Elon Musk and Grimes have to be up there, right? The Kardashians have also given their kids unique names, but I actually am a fan of them all.

Are there any celebrities that you keep tabs on/read articles about often? Nah, I’m past that part of my life lol. As obsessed as I am with BTS and as unavoidable rumors about their personal life are, I literally don’t care and just want them to have happy private lives. That’s one of the reasons why I know I’m truly in my 20s now hahaha.

Who is/are your celebrity crush(es)? Kim Taehyung, Hayley Williams, Kristen Stewart.

Have you ever personally met someone famous before? If so, then who? A lot of local celebrities and personalities since it came with the nature of my course.

Who is a celebrity that you’re getting tired of hearing about all the time? Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift.

Layer 48: Emotions

When was the last time you cried? Earlier, but they were happy tears.

What are some things that you’re afraid of? Big change, injections, drowning, sharp objects.

What is something small that makes you happy? Cold weather.

Who is the last person that you were angry with, and about what? My mom wrongfully blaming me for something I had very little to do with. Both my siblings are very sensitive and are never scolded, so I usually take the heat even for things I’m barely involved in. Such is the life of the eldest daughter in an Asian household, lmao.

Are you typically a shy or outgoing person? I’m always shy at first, but end up being perky and outgoing once warmed up.

Layer 49: Digging Deeper

What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Mixed drinks.

How old were you when you got drunk for the first time? 18.

Do you smoke? Very rarely. I don’t want to make it a habit.

Have you ever taken and sent naked pictures of yourself? I have.

Have you ever done any drugs other than marijuana? If so, which ones? No.

Layer 50: Games

What are some of your favorite video games? Mario Kart, Resident Evil, and Legend of Zelda are some of my favorite series.

Do you have any computer games that you play regularly? I don’t play computer games.

What was your favorite board game, growing up? Scrabble.

How about your favorite card game? I also don’t play card games.

How good are you at solving puzzles? (such as a Rubik’s cube, word puzzles, or putting together a jigsaw puzzle) I don’t like puzzles.

[greekowl87]

Fic: It’s Cold Outside

This is my fic for the X-Files Easter Fic Exchange (@xfilesfanficexchange). My prompt was for slippinmickeys over on AO3. This is cross-posted with AO3. 

The prompt was: “Mulder gets stuck at Maggie Scully's for the weekend during a Scully family holiday (any holiday). UST becomes RST and drama ensues. Seasons 1-7. No PWP, need story.” So this is set during season three and is inspired by The Blizzard of 1996 (January 6 -10) was an actual event that took place. I myself was nine and remember being miserable, sick and losing power for 3 days during the course of it while living in Virginia but took it as inspiration for this fic. 

A quick thank you for @peacenik0 and @baronessblixen talking me through some writer’s block with this fic. Mind you, it’s long. Also, there’s some smut in this: just a head’s up.  I hope you all enjoy.

P.S. @today-in-fic

Friday, January 5, 1996

“Mulder, you don’t have to do this.” Scully gathered her coat and briefcase for the weekend as Mulder donned his own trench coat and car keys. “I’m just taking the bus home and then driving to my mother’s for the weekend in the morning.”

“It would make me feel better, Scully. I don’t know if you saw the forecast for the weekend but they are calling for a big Nor’easter. Anyways, what’s so special about your mom’s this weekend?”

“A belated celebration of Christmas,” she told him with a smile. “Ever since dad and with Missy just a few months ago, mom’s had a hankering to get the family together. A belated Christmas seemed like the answer. My brothers Bill and Charlie are coming with their wives. Bill’s ship just got into Norfolk two days ago and is already up in Baltimore with Tara. Charlie is coming down from Pennsylvania.”

Mulder felt his heart drop in his chest at the mention of the recent murder of Melissa Scully. His partner had told him multiple times that she did not blame him; the dangers came with their work. But deep down, Mulder still felt guilt himself. He was only more determined to make things right for her, even if it was as simple as driving to her mother’s for a makeup Christmas holiday in early January.

“Really, Scully, it’s no big deal. I can drive you first thing tomorrow morning to Baltimore.”

“You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?”

“You know the answer to that.”

His smile must have melted her resolve as Scully smiled. “Fine. Tomorrow morning at ten, okay?”

“Okay.” He grinned.

. . . . . . . . .

Saturday, January 6, 1996

Scully glanced at her wall clock as it read 10:08 as she heard a knock at the door. Her weekend bag sat next to the door along with her freshly dug out snow boots and winter jacket. She had been watching the local news and now The Weather Channel. Mulder’s warning the previous day about an upcoming nor’easter had sparked her interest however her attention was once again distracted by the knocking again.

“It’s open,” she called.

The brass doorknob opened and she saw her partner wearing a leather jacket, jeans, and black turtleneck. He smiled at her awkwardly. “Ready to go, Scully?”

“You know you can come in, Mulder.”

She turned off the television and cast the remote onto the wooden coffee table. She saw him sidestep the welcome mat and inch around her entryway before shutting the door. He held his gaze at the fixed point in the floor before forcing a smile. “I do. I see you got your snow boots.”

“Yep. Finally got a chance to see the forecast. Might as well be prepared.”

Scully was already pulling on her jacket and then her shoes. “You really didn’t have to do this, Mulder.”

“I want to, Scully.”

He picked up her bag, loaded her bag into his backseat, and began the journey up to Maryland. The drive was quiet between them with a little conversation with the exception of small talk about the Scully family plans. As Mulder pulled up to the familiar driveway, he threw the car into park and looked at Scully. “Here’s your stop,” he said.

Scully gave him a thankful smile and nodded towards the porch. “Why don’t you come in before you head back to Alexandria?”

“I couldn’t impose, Scully.”

The last time he had been to Mrs. Scully’s house was shortly after his partner’s abduction when he had to swallow his pride and failure and let her know that her baby daughter had disappeared into thin air. He only saw himself as an omen of ill news for the Scullys. The most recent stigma was the death of Melissa Scully and him keeping Scully away due to their crazy crusade. The prospect of visiting her again under such circumstances wasn’t very appealing to him.

“Come on, Mulder. At least take a bathroom break and get a drink of coffee?” Her teasing smile made him relax slightly.’ “Come on, Mulder. My family isn’t going to crucify you.”

“The wrong holiday,” he joked. It fell on deaf ears.  “I couldn’t impose, Scully. Really.”

“You can at least get some coffee before hitting the road,” she encouraged. “My mom wouldn’t mind.”

“You aren’t going to take no for an answer are you?”

“Sound familiar? Why don’t you just put yourself out of your misery and come in.”

“Fine,” he grumbled.

They both exited the car and Mulder went to grab her weekend bag from the trunk of his car. Together, they went up to the steps to the Scully household. His partner grabbed the brass doorknob and swung the door open wide. “Mom! I’m here!”

“Is that little Dana?” A playful voice echoed from the kitchen. “Still believing in Santa Claus?”

“Charlie!”

Mulder stood awkwardly by the doorframe, unsure if he should close the door behind him and stay or if he should run away. He saw a much taller man, about his height with dark auburn hair and blue eyes like his partner wearing a Penn State sweatshirt and jeans.  Scully ran to her brother, throwing her arms around her youngest brother as he spun her in a circle. “It’s been too long, Dana! Mom, Dana’s here!”

Mulder stood straighter as he saw the matronly Mrs. Scully come from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a yellow apron. “No traffic I hope?”

“No,” Scully answered.

“Good. The weather forecast is calling for snow tonight and I hated the thought of you driving in this weather.”

“Mulder drove me,” Scully said, turning to gesture to him.

Mulder would have preferred to have fallen into a hole in the ground on the way to China than face the Scully matriarch. “Fox,” she greeted coolly.

“Mrs. Scully.”

Charlie turned to Mulder and smiled warmly. “So your Dana’s FBI partner. What kind of name is Fox anyways?”

To Mulder’s surprise, the youngest Scully offered a welcoming handshake which he returned hesitantly. “My parents probably hated me. I prefer Mulder anyways.”

“FBI thing?”

“Something like that. I’m going to go, Scully. I’ll see you back at the office on Monday.”

Scully narrowed her eyes in annoyance and nudged her mother. “I was going to invite Mulder to some coffee before he goes back. He was nice enough to drive me.”

“Of course.” Like magic, Mrs. Scully’s face materialized into the welcoming host that used to make her the talk of all the housewives of the San Diego Naval Base.  “Take off your jacket and shoes, Fox. Stay awhile. You take your coffee black right?”

“That’d be fine.”

Mulder was already taking off his shoes and jacket as Charlie said something about finding Bill and Tara from upstairs. Soon, Mulder found himself standing in the atrium alone with Scully. She gave him a smile small. “Thank you for staying for a bit.”

“You didn’t give me much of a choice.”

“I appreciate it regardless. Come on, let’s get you that cup of coffee.”

He was powerless to say no to her and followed her like an obedient puppy. Mrs. Scully was smiling and getting coffee, trying to make small talk with the two FBI agents. Charlie soon came back with a man and a woman which Mulder could only assume was Big Brother Bill and his wife Tara. He felt himself shrink under the steely gaze as Scully greeted the rest of her family. Mulder took a deep breath and held out his hand. “Fox Mulder.”

“Mr. Mulder,” Bill said carefully.

He had the sneaking suspicion he was being appraised. The blond hair woman, Tara, rushed forward to shake his hand as well. “It is so nice to meet you, Mr. Mulder. Dana has told us so much about you.”

“You can call me Mulder.” Mulder raised his eyebrow playfully at Scully. “Is that so?”

Charlie was by the fridge grabbing a beer out. “Don’t worry, Mulder. If you stick around long enough, you’ll hear some embarrassing stories about little Dana.”

As the afternoon progressed, the snow became heavier and showed no signs of letting up. By seven that evening, Mulder still found himself in the Scully household recovering from a wonderful dinner over embarrassing stories in front of a Christmas tree and the Scully clan. How had time escaped him was beyond Mulder’s grasp; he should open an x-file on it. By ten in the evening, he decided it was time to call it a night.

“Mrs. Scully, as much as I would love to stay, I must get going. The drive back to Alexandria is bound to belong.”

“You can’t be serious, Mulder!” Charlie cried. “All that snow!”

“It’s not safe,” Bill added as his wife yawned. She leaned against his shoulder sleepily. “You ready to hit the hay, hon?”

“Yeah. Traveling must’ve taken it out of me yesterday.”

“Why don’t you get going to bed. I’ll be right up.”

“It was nice to meet you, Mr. Mulder,” Tara said getting up. “Good night, everyone.”

A chorus of good nights and good evenings followed her out of the room. Scully looked at Mulder and bit her lip in thought. Mulder sensed something from her but did not say anything. “Why doesn’t he crash on the couch tonight, mom? Hopefully, the main roads will be plowed by tomorrow?”

Mrs. Scully nodded in agreement. “I’ll go get some blankets and pillows for you, Fox.”

Mulder had not even had a chance to say anything as Scully brothers said goodnight quickly and retreated back upstairs to their respective bedrooms. Mulder and Scully were left together alone in the living room. “What just happened?”

“Sleepover,” Scully chuckled.

“You weren’t planning this, were you?”

“No.” She lowered her voice and brought her knees to her chest. “Unless I suddenly gained control of the weather.”

“Knock it off, Scully.”

“I’m just teasing. But my brothers are right. It’s not safe to drive. I’m not up to saving your butt again.” They shared a knowing smile. “Besides, I was happy to have you here tonight.”

“How come?”

“It made things more...bearable tonight.” Without another word, she rose from the couch. “Good night, Mulder.”

“Night, Scully.”

Like ships passing in the sea, he watched Scully glide upstairs for the night as Mrs. Scully let her motherly instinct take over and make Mulder’s temporary bed for the night. He suddenly remembered the spare bag of clothes he kept in his car and rushed outside to grab it real quick before the snow grew any worse.

. . . . . . . .

Sunday, January 7, 1996

The meteorologists, both locally and nationally, metrologists were already calling it The Great Blizzard of 1996. When Mulder and the Scully family had retired for the night, Mother Nature had other plans. There was already almost a foot of snow before it transitioned to sleet, icing in the layers and locking them away. The storm came back with colder temperatures and even heavier bands of snow. Snow, ice, and more snow. And with that, Mulder found himself trapped in Baltimore for the Scully’s makeup Christmas. Unwanted guest indeed.

Mulder found himself waking up in the early morning hours. He could hear the winds battering the side of the house, snow, and ice pelting the windows, and the colorful glow of the Christmas tree dancing around the living room. He did not know what he was doing.

Sleep just didn’t happen for Mulder anymore. After many years of isolation and peculiarness had molded him into a couch dozing insomniac that slept with the tv on. Maybe, deep in his own mind and subconscious, he was still trying to bring back Samantha by somehow recreating that night from November 1973. It seemed awfully true now as the Scully clan tried to recreate the memory of their lost kin.

“Can’t sleep?”

Mulder jumped and spun around. Scully stood in the door frame as the shadows clung to her. Her robe was wrapped tightly around her, her arms weaved into a knot as if trying to protect her against something. She gazed longingly at the multicolored Christmas tree and then to stockings on the old fireplace. “And the stockings were hung on the chimney with care with hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be here,” Scully recited softly. She cleared her throat. “I see Mom is keeping Missy’s up.”

Mulder turned to the stockings counting them quickly. “I count seven.”

“Mom still keeps dad’s up.” She gave a sad smile. “Christmas was a favorite holiday growing up for us. The last time we were all together was the December before I went to the academy.”

Mulder scooted over on the couch as Scully sat next to him. “What a turn of events, huh, Scully?”

“Hmm?”

Mulder gestured to the window as white snow blinded the outside. “Weather. Mother nature. The inconvenience of timing.”

“It depends on the way you look at it, Mulder.”

“I’m probably ruining your little family get-together. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your mother’s scalding gaze.” Self-deprecating humor at its finest. Another mechanism. “I don’t know if I should be alarmed or not.”

“Mulder,” she sighed. She pinched her nose and gave a weak smile. “She’s not mad at you.”

“I’m sure they’re just waiting and plotting. I would know.”

Scully tilted her head to the side and gave him a warm smile. She moved closer to him and rubbed her against his left shoulder smoothing the cotton beneath her palm. “I did it so I could save you. You were out of your mind,” she whispered softly. Even beneath that fabric, she could still feel the puckered scar. “I saved you, didn’t I?”

He chuckled. “Does your mother know what you did?”

“No. And neither do my brothers.”

She smiled in the light and moved closer to Mulder. He stilled as she reached for a stray blanket to pull it over her lap and rest her head against his shoulder. “What are you thinking,” he whispered.

“Those lights and decorations. I think my mom used the last time when we were all together. The last Christmas. It was right before I left for the academy.” She smiled at the memory. “It’s funny because Missy and I were sitting on this very couch, watching those colored lights. I had just been recruited into the FBI and I remember feeling uncertain.”

“You’re never uncertain about anything.”

There was a pause between them and Scully continued to stare off into the distance.  “She told me that…” She took a breath. “She told me don’t mistake a path for what it really represents: the people that we meet along the way. I didn’t know who I was going to meet, how my life was going to change, or whose life I would change along the way.”

Overwhelming guilt wrecked his heart (as if the guilt from Melissa Scully’s death, Scully’s abduction, and the disappearance from his own sister weren’t enough). The silence that ensued must have been enough for Scully to grasp his hand tightly, startling him out of dismal, gloomy thoughts. “Mulder, don’t think that.”

“It’s because of me,” he murmured, “that all this happened to you.”

“Didn’t you hear me? It is a two-way street. With the bad, there has also been good. These three years, I wouldn’t change. I wouldn’t want this journey with anyone else but you.”

Unable to find words he settled for the thing that had worked best for them: unspoken communication. He wrapped his arm around her in a hug. Scully settled her head back against his shoulder in silence. The moment seemed trapped in a bubble that was only meant for the two of them.  “I am incredibly grateful you are here with me now, Mulder, even if it doesn’t feel like it.” She took a deep breath and kissed his temple softly. “Thank you.”

Like a shadow in the night, she quickly retreated leaving a very confused Mulder alone on the couch to wonder exactly what had transpired at that moment.

As the early morning crawled on, the Christmas lights turned off from the automatic timer leaving Mulder in the dark. He did not remember when he dozed off but awoke a few hours later to the smell of coffee being brewed and laughter in the room next door. “Charles, I do not recall that Christmas.”

The voice of Mrs. Scully laughed as there as a masculine snorting of giggles. “Oh shut up, Bill.”

That must be Charlie, she surmised.

Mulder stretched his aching body against the stiff couch, wincing at some unknown muscle cramp. The air was chilled in the living room and he spied a smoldering fireplace in need of fresh wood. Mulder got up to stoke the fire before searching for his Oxford sweatshirt to ward off the chill. His foggy mind, already going through the things that he needed to do the first thing to get back to Alexandria. He’d need to get gas, make sure he had a shovel or something in his car for the snow.

“Mulder.”

He looked up to see Scully standing in the doorway wearing her white fluffy robe and her hair clipped back into a loose bun. She held up a steaming cup of coffee enticingly. “Morning,” he croaked. He gave her a weak smile and tried to comb his bedhead. Scully shook her head and hid her amused smile behind her hand and a fake yawn. “How did you sleep?”

“I slept.” She shrugged and dropped off the coffee onto a side table. “Come join us for breakfast when you’re ready.”

“I think I’ll just get going this morning back to Alexandria.”

Scully smirked and nodded to a window. “I doubt that, Mulder. The snow turned over to sleet and then back to snow overnight. The news is saying at least nine inches.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Nope. Come on, let’s get breakfast.”

“Scully, I really can’t impose. I have already done enough damage here.”

“Mulder,” she said calmly. She took his hand and squeezed it. “It’s okay. My family isn’t planning to burn you at the stake or anything.” He was taken back by the openness of the invitation. She watched his emotions play across his face and arched her elegant eyebrow. “Is it what we do? Our work? My abduction? What, Mulder?”

“How do you openly invite me here? Expect that your brothers and mothers won’t flail me alive?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “My brothers know we solve unusual cases for the FBI, the cold cases that others won’t touch. They don’t know anything about government conspiracies or anything like that. As long as you don’t say about green little men.”

“They’re gray,” he whispered.

“Green. Gray. I still have yet to scientifically prove it.”

In the span of a few seconds, the platonic partners were decidedly close to one another. Electricity sparked between the air and the strange feeling shifted between them again. Mulder licked his lips as the stray thought of kissing Scully popped up in his mind. Scully was leaning towards him, as if in a trance, before Mrs. Scully’s voice called from the kitchen. “Dana! Fox! If you don’t get in here soon, all these pancakes will be gone.”

With the spell broken, both Mulder and Scully blinked. “Pancakes,” Mulder asked.

“Scully family Christmas tradition. I told you mom is going all out even though it is January. It’s been forever since we’ve had a proper Christmas.” She glanced at the two stockings meant for her passed father and murdered sister. “Even if some of us couldn’t be here.” Mulder opened his mouth to apologize but Scully cut him off. “But I’m very happy you are here with me, Mulder. I really mean it.”

He nodded unable to find anything else to say. Mulder followed her into the kitchen to find Mrs. Scully standing with Charlie by the electric griddle skillfully making pancakes like an assembly line. Bill and Tara sat at the kitchen table reading the copy of The Washington Post from the day before. On the corner of the counter, a small black and white tv had the local news on.

“Boy, oh, boy!” Cried the news anchor. “What was supposed to be a few snow flurries has turned into a full-blow blizzard. Chase, what can you tell us about this storm?”

The camera panned to another man wearing a suit in front of a local weather map colored in various shades of gray, black, and white. “You are right, Craig. I wouldn't dare go out this weather. Last night, we were only looking at a couple of inches of snow and now the forecast is calling for totals up to 20 inches plus. Also, overnight, the snow briefly changed to sleet and then back to snow. Don’t even think about going out in this weather! It’s best to stay hunkered down until this storm passes through tomorrow morning. The drive-in is going to be a mess well so plan accordingly.”

“That’s one thing I don’t miss is snow,” Bill grumbled flipping the paper.

“I forgot,” Charlie called. “Sunny San Diego.”

“And you choose to live in the great white north,” the brother shot back.

“Maine is not the great white north. You’re thinking of Minnesota.”

“I would argue differently. I grew up in Massachusetts and have some memories of nasty winters.”

Mulder stood in the middle of the kitchen, unsure where to go. Scully squeezed his hand discreetly and pulled him to a stool near the kitchen counter where she sat next to him.

“Where exactly did you grow up, Mr. Mulder?” Bill asked.

“The Vineyard,” he answered automatically. Charlie winked at him as he supplied Mulder and his sister coffee. He turned his attention to the small black and white television. “I can try and dig out later this morning, Mrs. Scully once the snow lets up and be out of your hair.”

“Nonsense, Fox. You are not driving back to Virginia in this weather. We’ve already gotten 13 inches and were forecasted to get 10 more. What’s one more mouth to feed.” She looked up and gave him a smile. Mulder did not know how to respond. “If you really want, you can help shovel my driveway.”

Scully smiled. “I tried to tell him that but I told you he is thick-headed.”

“He’s not the only one, Dana.”

“Hey, do you remember when we were in New Haven?” Charlie asked.

“As if you remember,” Bill snorted. “You were three.”

“How can anyone forget the Christmas tree being set on fire? It was clearly your fault. If I recall, I heard something about you trying to ‘light Christmas spirit.’”

“Even I remember it.” Scully grinned.

Mrs. Scully rolled her eyes. “Well, since we have a proper blizzard, why don’t we all just take it easy today. We can all take turns shoveling the driveway to make it more authentic.”

Mulder was about to say something else but Scully’s stern glare made him reconsider. “I think three men can manage that, mom,” Charlie chuckled. “So what does us leaving to do in the meantime?”

“Movies?” Tara suggested.

“Oh, AMC is doing a B-Rated Horror Film Marathon this weekend,” Charlie said excitedly. “That would be awesome.”

“Sounds right up your alley.” Scully elbowed Mulder.

He shifted stiffly and wondered just how much she had told her brothers about him and his far fetched theories. “You all can do that,” Bill shrugged. He remained focused on the paper. “There are some of dad’s things I would like to go through this afternoon.”

“Fun killer,” Charlie called as he skillfully flipped the next batch of pancakes. “Tara? What about you?”

“I would love to. That used to be a favorite thing to do with my sisters.”

“Honestly, Tara,” Bill scoffed. “We don’t have time for such childish things.”

“Shut up, Bill. We’re supposed to be celebrating Christmas, right? Staying in our PJs all day and watching tv was something we did in our family.”

“Ours was nothing but midnight masses,” Charlie added.

“Well, we can always improvise, “ Mrs. Scully answered, “but I doubt that would be any fun.”

“Then it’s settled.” Scully smiled but frowned when she saw Mulder focusing on some unknown spot in front of him. She frowned in frustration.

Breakfast continued without a hitch. Mulder withdrew into himself even further feeling alienated among the Scully clan. He felt trapped. He could take the chance and risk his car on the roads but Scully would save his ass and then kill him for his stupidity. A rouge hand took his own and squeezed it beneath the table top was all he needed to force the smile and endure this bizarre family holiday a bit longer.

The day seemed to be stuck in some sort of time zone because Mulder felt like he was experiencing deja vu. The last time he had experienced Christmas joy, any Christmas joy was the Christmas before Samantha’s abduction. The Mulder's had been a happy family then. But now, he somehow found himself swept along in marathons of horror films with Charlie, Bill’s polite decline to participate, and Tara, Scully, and her mother in the kitchen working on a makeshift dinner. The blizzard of 1996 continued on in spectacular fashion bringing more snow and ice.

At the end of the day, Mulder still found himself trapped with the Scullys with no means of escape.

That night, Mulder heard the grandfather clock in the hallway strike midnight, echoing throughout the silent house. He wished he was somewhere else.

In his makeshift bed on the living room couch, he still could not find a comfortable position. The blue light from the muted tv added to the eerie ambiance from the colored Christmas tree lights. It was nights like this he would call Scully just to hear her voice and his loneliness less palatable. But she was right upstairs and he did not think that he family (especially Big Brother Bill who had regarded him cautiously since his arrival) would take to it very kindly. Lost in his thoughts, he heard the silent scuffle of slippers against the wood floor.

“Still can’t sleep?”

He smiled, recognizing that voice from anywhere. “Could you?”

“I suppose not. Today wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be, was it?”

“I wasn’t worried.”

“You wore you panic face throughout most of breakfast.”

Scully emerged from the shadows. Elegant no matter what, Mulder thought. His partner wore the same robe from the morning before except her hair was down. “You being here I think is helping mom too. The distraction is nice since Missy is no longer here. The first Christmas after dad passed it was a nightmare.”

“I’m glad I’m not too much of a burden.”

“You are never a burden, Mulder.”

He smiled coyly at her. “You know, it’s funny, Scully. I know the special agent but I don’t know the story behind Dana Scully.”

She chewed on her lips playfully and held out her hand. “Want to see?”  Just in the past 48 hours, this new side of Scully that was emerging that he wanted to know more of. Playing her game, he grasped her hand and she lead him down the hall and upstair case. “Watch the second step from the top. It always makes a noise.”

Following her expert direction, they navigated the maze in the dark. Scully led him to a door furthest down the hall. She opened the door to reveal a room frozen in time that belonged to some sort of punk rock teenager. Faded posters decorated the wall above the bed. A black bookcase held numerous copies of books ranging from physics to Latin to Nancy Drew. In the corner was a small desk with a bulletin board covered in various ribbons from science fairs and a University of Maryland flag above it. There was a picture on the bulletin board that looked vaguely familiar.

“Is that you?”

Mulder squinted as he picked up the photo as she shut the door behind them. “I was a bit of a punk.”

“And science wiz,” he added, nodding to the ribbons. “Little Dana Scully was a rebel.”

“Not always,” she said slowly, trying to hide back a laugh. “I did get suspended in my sophomore year for almost blowing up the chemistry lab trying to prove a senior wrong.”

“You took chemistry as a sophomore?”

“Science wiz,” she reminded him. She sat on the bed and patted the space next to her. “I know I’ve told you numerous times but I’m really glad you are here. It’s nice having someone to…” She shrugged. “I’m just glad you’re here, Mulder.”

He took the spot next to him. “I guess we should thank fate.”

She snorted in amusement. “I told you there is no such thing as fate.”

“This blizzard.”

“Convenient timing.”

He leaned closer into her personal space like he did when they were ready to verbally spare. She smiled and shook her head. Something must have shifted between them at that moment. Maybe it was the wintry atmosphere or some random static charge from the dry air, but he leaned forward, and almost teasingly, kissed her. A catalyst exploded between them. He expected her to pull away but she didn’t.

She deepened it.

Rational thought became lost and pure instinct took over. He cupped her face and held it for a moment longer. By the time they broke away to draw breath, words were pouring from his lips. “Scully, I’m sorry. It was an accident. I didn’t mean to…”

The flood of apologies was stopped by a single order.

“Stop.”

He closed his mouth obediently. Her eyes had narrowed and she looked feral.

“There is nothing you should be sorry for. You...you are a good man, a good friend, Mulder…” Scully swallowed, already losing her courage. “And nothing would change between us.”

“Maybe I want them to change.”

Scully arched an eyebrow suspiciously.

Mulder did not know the exact moment he fell in love with her but the past two years and her abduction only made it worse for him. During her absence, he did not know how close he was to pulling that trigger and blowing out his brains. He never had such thoughts during the years after Samantha’s appearance but without Scully, life seemed worthless. But this moment...oh how he wished for this moment since he had laid eyes on her again.

“Change?”

“I wanted this,” he confessed, “for a very long time.”

“Mulder.”

“I understand if I have overstepped my bounds.”

He was panicking. This was falling apart, everything was becoming a slow-motion horrific accident. Thoughts of a ruined partnership, their work, being alone. He began to pull away. He needed to run. To escape.

“Mulder. Mulder!”

Her voice called out to him like a lifeline. He looked down as Scully took his hand and pulled him back down beside her. “I don’t want to ruin what we already have.”

“You won’t.”

Her hand rubbed his thigh enticingly and Mulder closed his eyes with flushed cheeks. It had been so long since someone had touched him like that. He heard the locking of a door and he knew then, he couldn’t escape. Her hands rested on his shoulders and trailed down his arms. Her chin rested on his shoulder as she hugged him from behind. “Despite me being a bit of a rebel in high school, most boys never made it this far. You’re the first,” she teased.

“First what?” Mulder breathed.

Once again during the past 48 hours, he was surprised at this side of Scully. Or was this Dana? “Mulder, don’t make me scientifically prove the nature of the whammy.”

He burst out laughing as Scully met his lips sensually and he was gone. Gone was his resolve any fears. Her hands had a mind all their own. Mulder sighed in between kisses and let Scully take the lead. Like a dancer, she came around to the front and kneeled in front of him.  Mulder smiled and ran his hands down Scully’s hips appreciatively. “Scully,” he murmured. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. However,” she licked her lips. “Charlie's is right next door. My mother, Bill, and Tara are right down the hall. We’ll have to be quiet.”

“Quiet,” he chuckled. He turned serious. “Scully, we can still avoid this if you want.”

“Mulder, let me tell you something,” she began, “there was always something between us, wasn’t there?”

“I'd like to think so.”

“I remember,” she continued, slipping off her robe, “after my abduction, visiting with my mom and Missy. You came in with that stupid video.” She chuckled at the memory. “I know you only stayed briefly but I was glad you came.”

“I called you. Sorry, but meeting your big sister kind of unnerved me.”

“Worse than Bill?” She bit back a grin.

“I don’t know. I think Charlie likes me, but Bill…”

“Firstborn are usually stubborn.” Mulder raised his eyebrow in mock horror. “You are my evidence. After you left, Missy stayed with me until the morning. We talked a lot. About life. You. Cosmic connections. Us.”

“She came to my apartment one night before I got your call that you were back. Someone told me I was going to be killed and at that point, I had nothing to live for. You were gone. Samantha…” Mulder scoffed. “You were real. You were always real and something I could save.”

“We’ll still find your sister.”

“At the loss of yours?”

She gave a weak smile and gently wrapped an arm around his neck. “That’s why I’m glad you’re here with me now, Mulder. You were there that night.”

“But you still couldn’t say goodbye.”

She sighed and drew him closer. “Is that what’s been bothering you the entire time being here? Deep down?” Mulder looked down and felt the atmosphere become suffocating. “Look at me. It’s not your fault, Mulder. What happened to Missy is not your fault. I don’t blame you.”

“What about your mother?”

“Don’t worry about her. Or Bill. Or Charlie.”

Mulder lowered his head. How did always do this to him? Make him weak in the knees and doubt everything he has ever known. She brought him closer. “She told me once that we were, and I quote, ‘Once in a lifetime.’”

“Who? Your sister?”

She nodded. “The first time I told her about you. I was complaining about how were stubborn you were and she told me that is was no different than me.”

Mulder gave a weak smile. His mind was melted at this point. “This isn’t exactly how I pictured this, Scully,” he whispered.

“Pictured what?”

“This.”

He pulled off her robe slowly and tossed it the ground. She shivered as the cold air hit her. Mulder saw the soft blue silk pajamas reflected in the soft light from the lamp. She blushed and whispered, “Lights on or off?”

“On,” he whispered reverently. “I want to see all of you.”

The first time he had a fantasy with her, Mulder had felt that he had committed the holiest of sins and paid with a bottle of tequila, a hangover, and a shiner on his eye that made Scully raise a suspicious eyebrow on the following Monday. But as much as he tried to fight it, he was powerless to do anything but give in. He was startled out of his thoughts as she ran her hand over him appreciatively and his body responded automatically. He let out a guttural moan; God, it had been too long since someone had touched him like that. “I’m just conducting a thorough investigation, Mulder,” she responded.

“I’m sure,” he swallowed, “but if you keep doing that, this won’t last long.”

“Well, we better get busy then.”

Mulder still could not believe this was happening. Blood rushed in his ears and he could hear the wind outside howled. Scully pulled Mulder’s shirt off first and gave a soft smile. He shivered himself as the cold air hit his skin. “Let’s get under the covers,” he whispered.

Her hands were distracting as they slipped beneath the small blanket of the double bed. He rolled to his side and slowly unbuttoned her top. Milky white skin slowly appeared and he touched her reverently slowly making his way up. When her first breast appeared, he knew she was a goddess fallen to earth. “Aphrodite, Venus,” he mumbled. He kissed her soundly and squeezed her breast slowly, trying to memorize everything. “A goddess come to life.”

Mulder grew bolder in his exploration moving his mouth to one breast and then the other, heaping worship upon her altar. She sighed breathily, raking her fingers through his hair, and leaned her head back. Mulder was already on fire but hearing her sigh “Mulder…” set him aflame.

Her arms wrapped around him and he felt her nails lightly scratch down his back. The cold and snow from the Blizzard of 1996 continued to rage outside. He could faintly hear little bits of snow and ice hitting the window glass but none of that mattered. For the first time in ages, he was alive and the icy loneliness that plagued his life had finally melted in her embrace. Time vanished and Mulder became a firm believer in missing time except, for this, he wanted his photographic memory to remember everything.

Mulder broke away from his adoration of Scully to look up and share a gaze with her. Her face was flushed as she smiled.  “It’s been so long,” she whispered.

“Try to be quiet then,” he chuckled. He kissed her before disappearing the beneath the covers. His mind raced a thousand miles per hour and he didn’t know if he should take it slow or like a flash flood. He kissed her exposed abdomen, panting heavily. “What do you want?”

“I want to remember everything,” she breathed.

Mulder smiled and placed a series of kisses until he reached the waistband of her pants. She lifted her waist without command as he pulled them down. Mulder was intoxicated by both the scent of her and the thrill of the moment. Scully was already lifting her hips as he hooked his thumbs into the elastic waistband and pulled downwards. If Mulder was a religious man, he would be proclaiming a miracle. A variety of dirty thoughts came to mind but one stuck out in particular. Overcome with lust and passion, he nuzzled her lower half, almost bashfully, nuzzled her. She jerked in response. He sought and took her hand, calming her in the process. She relaxed slightly and felt something move above him: a pillow.

“Scully?”

“Fine,” came the muffled reply. Mulder strained his ears trying to discern if she was uncomfortable or not. “I’m good, Mulder.”

The tone in her voice threw him off. Was she in pain? Or was it something else. He began to hesitate but he felt her fingers run through his hair reassuringly. It was enough for him to continue. He went back to his ministrations, testing out this and that, teasing her until he felt her writhing beneath him. Scully’s hips lifted and he heard her muffled cries. That explains the pillow, he thought, smiling.

Mulder eventually broke away and slid back up to greet Mulder with a kiss. He was smiling; she was smiling. “That was amazing,” she chuckled. “Do you think anyone heard us?”

“I hope not. A pillow, Scully? Really?”

“Shut up.” A devilish grin spread across her face. “Enough with the formalities, Mulder. Let’s get down to business.”

She reached into the drawer and pulled out a condemn. He raised an eyebrow with the unasked question. “It’s good. And I know we’re good…” She caressed his cheek. “Perks of also being your doctor.”

“Remind me to have you make house calls more often.”

With expertise he suspected that was from her medical education, Scully slipped on the condemn and rubbed him possessively. She smiled and whispered, “I want all of you.”

She tore off his shirt and sweats eagerly. Mulder lifted his hips and crushed her lips. Scully lifted her neck as he trailed a row of kisses down to shoulder where he bit into her shoulder blade, marking her. She lifted her hips meeting hip and let out a loud cry. She howled into her shoulder. “You’re driving me crazy,” he murmured into her ear.

“We have to be quiet,” she whispered. “The blizzard will only hide our...enjoyment for so long.”

“Well, I’m just getting started.

Something overcame both of them. Maybe it was desperateness, maybe it was the blizzard, maybe it was the moment. They both guided Mulder into her, working together as they did in everything.together. She sighed at the initial contact and moaned at the sudden fullness. “Oh, Mulder.”

He drew a sharp breath in. “Am I hurting you?”

“No, no.” She tried to relax. “It’s just been a while.”

“Me too.” He started moving slowly and she shifted beneath him. “Scully, if I’m hurting you…”

“You’re fine, Mulder. I just didn’t expect you to be so…”

“What?”

“There’s a lot of you to go around.” She chuckled at her own joke. “Everything feels wonderful.”

Mulder focused his effort into trying to please her, no one but her. He wanted to make her forget the shadow the death of a lost sister had caused her along with her mother’s shame and the scorching glare that her big brother had been plaguing them since their arrival.

She breathed sharply and whispered, “More.”

He redoubled his efforts. He entwined their hands like vines and pushed them above her head. He attacked her with new fever, swallowing her breathy moans and sighs with his rough kisses. Gone were the thoughts of being trapped in a snowstorm but rather whatever it was they created. Mulder tried to show Scully how much he cared for her, what she meant, and that he would do anything for her. Her ankles crossed behind his back and dug into his muscles, holding him her. Then he felt it. She was coming with a quick series of contractions that pulled him over with her. Mulder howled into her shoulder as he became spent and collapsed on top of her. She ran her hands up in down his bare back as he withdrew, tied off the condemn, and threw it a small trash can.

“So classy,” she sighed.

“Well, you’re not a cheap date, Scully.” He was already shivering as he dashed back to her bed and to the warmth. She coiled around him and smiled against his chest. “You are like a little heater.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, G-man.”

Mulder rolled to the side and used his long arm to turn off the lamp. She whispered something to him and although he probably misunderstood, he slid out of the cold air to open the blinds slightly before rushing back under the covers to the warmth they had created. They watched the snowfall in the streetlights together. He rolled onto his side and pulled Scully’s bare form against him. “This is something I could get used to,” he teased gently.

As they watched memorized, the blinding winds had lessened slightly and now just gentle snow fell. They could see the pristine streets covered in an eerie glow from the orange street lights. Scully pulled his arm tighter around her. “I’m glad you are here,” she murmured loudly enough so he could just hear her. “When mom asked, I tried to think of an excuse not to come. Missy’s shadow still hanging over this house. The bad whatever left from me not being there or the fact it should have been me. It should’ve been me, Mulder.”

“I’m sorry for Missy,” he whispered, “I really am. But I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you again. I can’t lose you again.”

“I know,” Scully whispered. “But with you being here, right now. Stuck in a snowstorm. Making love in my childhood home, despite the rebelliousness of it, I am grateful you are here. I am happy to have you here with me, Mulder. You make this bearable.”

He was quiet for a moment before he answered. His emotions spun like the snow outside before it settled one conclusion. He hugged her tightly, vowing to protect her and keep her happy no matter what. “No place where I would rather be,” he replied. He kissed the crook of her neck. “Sleep.”

With a final sigh of contentment, Scully let herself drift off finally as Mulder kept vigil and watched the falling snow.

. . . . . . . . .

Sunday, January 7, 1996

Because they were creating their own Christmas holiday in January and the snowstorm prevented Mrs. Scully from attending mass with her family, she decided the next thing: celebrate a January Christmas on a Sunday. Charlie was the first to wake up that morning at four a.m, somehow beating his mother’s habitual early rising. He had always been a light sleeper as a result of his father’s early morning revelries. He slipped downstairs to start the coffee first and noticed the rumpled blankets and absent guest on the couch. He raised an eyebrow before smirking. He and Dana had always been close growing up. Unlike their old siblings, only a year separated Dana and Charlie and the two often found themselves partners-in-crime covering for each other’s adolescent antics. He smirked as he sipped his morning coffee, already guessing what had transpired judging by Mulder’s empty couch. He supposed that he could still be a reliable accomplice to his sister.

At 4:30, with his coffee in hand, he twisted the doorknob gently and found it locked; a tell-tale sign Dana was up to something. He jiggled the handout a bit more before rasping lightly against the white wood door. “Dana,” he called out quietly. He eyed Bill’s room and his mothers. “Dae.”

There was movement on the other side. Some muffled exchange and cussing about the cold. The door opened the crack and he saw his sister’s narrowed blue eyes in the twilight light from the Christmas tree downstairs. “I thought I would give you a wake-up call before mom or Bill got up. And Mulder too.” He smelled the familiar scent of a good night spent with someone wafting off her. “And you may want to clean up?”

Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

He held up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m the first one up, promise. And I won’t tell a soul. Take my coffee.”

“Not a word,” she breathed.

“See you in a bit.”

She shut the door soundly and Charlie bit back his laughter at the entire situation. Downstairs in the kitchen with only the stove light to keep him company, Dana emerged look fresh with Mulder trailing behind her like a puppy dog. Both avoided eye contact with him. Charlie stood at the kitchen counter, fighting a grin. “Coffee’s fresh. And I won’t tell a soul, promise.”

Mulder’s eyes shot up in alarm and glanced at Scully as some unspoken conversation occurred between them. She was pouring herself a cup. “Charlie already knows,” she moaned.

“How?’ Mulder asked.

“I’m not going to castrate you,” he shrugged. “Dae and I were partners in crime. We used to cover for each other when we would do more questionable things.”

“Like that library fire?” She asked.

“Once and they never caught me.”

“Don’t forget your big sister is an FBI agent.”

“Right. What are you gonna do? Arrest me, copper?”

Mulder watched the exchanged and wondered faintly if it would have been that way with Samantha. Charlie nodded towards Mulder. “He’s the best you’ve done.”

“I appreciate you have taken an interest in my taste of men,” she muttered. “Mulder, do you want anything?���

“I’m good, Scully.”

Charlie tilted his head. “Why do you call her that?”

“What?”

Mulder shifted uncomfortably.

“Why do you call her Scully?”

“Why not? She’s Scully,” Mulder answered. He shrugged his shoulders.

“That’s cute.”

“Charlie, remember I also know how to get away with murder if I wanted to,” Scully hissed. She blew on her cup of coffee. “And no one would be the wiser.”

“What else is new. If Missy could see you now.”

“You are bad enough by yourself.”

Mulder looked away at the mention of the Melissa Scully. Charlie took a cup of the cupboard and poured some coffee. He offered it to Mulder like an olive branch. “I don’t judge, Mulder. You’re good for my sister, despite what others may think.” The brother watched his eyes dart toward his sister. “I know about her abduction and everything else. You make her happy. I see it. I can hear about it every time we talk. You’re good for Dana. And that’s good enough for me. Even if you are sleeping with her.” Their silence was insinuating. “Oh, nice one, Dana. First time in mom’s house. In your childhood bed?”

“A needle between the toes with a small enough dosage to stop your heart,” she told Charlie ominously.

Her brother watched Mulder become at ease a bit and smiled. He took the cup of coffee. “I wouldn’t cross her, Charlie. She shot me once.”

“Dana’s all fire and no bite,” he replied.

Mulder glanced at Scully and pulled at his shirt to reveal a puckered bullet wound on his left shoulder. “Wanna bet?”

“No way.” Charlie bent closer to examine the wound. “Dana actually shot you?”

“To be fair, I was out of my mind. But your sister is good enough to perform surgery with a PPK and take it out with a field surgery kit in her apartment. I wouldn’t tease her.”

Charlie chuckled. “I have a scar on my arm from one our antics that never healed. Once she mars you, she owns you. Welcome to the club.”

The love-struck gaze between the two did not go unnoticed.

By six a.m., the rest of the Scully clan had awoken. Charlie watched the morning unfurl with delight. Dana was more reserved than usual. Mulder wouldn’t leave his sister's side. Bill had started mastering their father’s glare and directed towards Mulder. His sister-in-law and mother seemed ignorant. But Charlie also knew his mother.

Unlike Bill and Dana, he had followed a path similar to Melissa where he discovered his own way. After high school, he waited tables, eventually becoming a hotshot bartender in Philadelphia before finding a full-time job in marketing where he could utilize all the sale skills he had mastered throughout the year. He also learned how to read people. Mrs. Scully wanted to keep Mulder at a distance but she would not let her feelings disappointment show for Dana’s sake. By eight, there was a buffet of bacon, scrambled eggs, hash browns and biscuits and gravy. Everyone helped themselves to large portions (except Mulder and Dana who shared a plate). Dana made up an excuse about bad habits in the field. Charlie knew better.

By nine, there was the unofficial six o’clock Christmas roll call to be held fashionably late three hours later. Presents were exchanged and Bill’s glare seemed to grow. Halfway through the present exchange, Charlie excused himself to refill his coffee with Bill trailing his younger brother into the kitchen. “Are you helping me with the coffee now, Bill?”

Bill stalked behind Charlie and shut the door to the kitchen behind them. “Don’t you find it a little suspicious?”

The younger brother arched an eyebrow suspiciously as he poured a fresh coffee. “What are you talking about?’

“Dana and her partner.” Bill scrunched his face like a child at yucky food. “Mulder.”

“What about him?”

“Doesn’t this sit with as a bit odd or off?”

“What?”

“Them. What they’re doing.”

“You sound worse than dad. Dana is a grown woman. Let her do what she wants.”

“Haven’t you seen how he looks at her. There has to be more to it.”

“So what if there is, Bill? That is none of our business.”

“If dad could see Dana now, his little pride and joy, now. I knew the FBI was a bad idea. A boys club. I told you.”

“What are you trying to imply? That Dana should be at home and have a nice doctor for a husband?”

“Well, at least Melissa would be alive,” he spat.

“You don’t know that.”

Both brothers turned around to see their youngest sister’s eyes narrowed dangerously at her brothers. Charlie knew that scorching glare that she seemed to develop all her own. He looked away trying to find something that would occupy his time. “Charlie, stop hiding from me.”

“I didn’t say anything, Dana. You’re the one leaving Mulder alone with mom.”

“He’s a big boy and Tara seems to have taken quite a sign of affection to him.”

Her steely blue eyes zeroed in on Bill whose own look hardened in determination. “You know full well he doesn’t belong here, Dana. He’s already ruined this family enough. First with your abduction and then with Missy. Where does it end with him?”

“He had nothing to do with my abduction. And don't think I don’t know about who convinced mom to finally give up hope and get my headstone,” she hissed. “At least Mulder never gave up hope on me.”

“What was I supposed to do, Dana? Dad is gone and then, less than a year, you are too. How could you continue to put her through that? He was only making things worse.”

Scully slammed a coffee cup hard onto the counter with such force that she broke the handle off bashing her left hand. “Son of a bitch,” she hissed. She reached for a towel in order to stem the blood flow as Charlie looked down in alarm. “I hope you’re happy now.”

“Charlie? Bill? Dana? Is everything all right?” There mother’s voice came from the other room.

Bill watched his little sister continue to stare daggers at him. “Everything’s fine, mom,” Bill said. “Charlie and Dana were just cleaning up.”

Still aware of her smoldering gaze, he left without saying a word. Charlie looked at her impressed. “I think that’s the first time I have ever seen him shut up just be someone looking at him. FBI teach you that?”

“Sometimes we just learn that we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for,” she answered evasively. “Charlie, run to the first aid kit and grab it for me? I think it’s still under the sink.”

“Don’t you need stitches or something?”

“Probably but were we going to get that in this weather? Check the kitchen drawer. I think mom has some superglue in there.”

“You’re not serious, Dae.”

“If you can’t do it, go get Mulder then,” she snapped. She pulled back the towel to reveal a small gash going down her palm. “God forbid mom sees this.”

“I’m not the enemy.” He went to the kitchen drawer and began to search for the requested item. “Is it true that you actually shot, Mulder?”

“Yes.”

Scully was clearly distracted. She turned the sink on and ran warm water over the small gash. Charlie watched in amazement as his sister did not flinch as she cleaned the wound. She skillfully dressed the wound and thankfully did not need to glue the gash shut. He leaned against the counter as she took a deep breath to steady herself. “Dana?”

“I didn’t plan on this blizzard and I knew he wanted to leave. He’s been eyeing that exit since we came here. But I’m glad he’s here, Charlie. As fucked up it is sounds, he’s made this bearable for me.”

“Missy liked him, you know. She told me about him on the rare occasion we talked. I don’t what you all have going on and I don’t care what’s got Bill’s undies in a twist, he’s good for you, Dana.”

Scully motioned for her brother’s help and he tied off the bandage around her hand. “I’m glad to hear that,” she whispered. Scully flashed a smile. “I’m glad you get along with him.”

“He’s…” Charlie leaned against the counter, crossed his arm, and tried to find an answer. “He’s not what I expected from you, Dana.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Daniel? Marcus? What was that other guy’s name? Your FBI instructor…Jack?”

“Maybe I should have told Missy instead of you.”

“Oh, she told me everything as it was when I could get a hold of her.”

Scully grew quiet. “You miss her.”

“We all do,” she answered.

“Dana, Charlie, are you going to stay in the kitchen all morning?”

Their mother’s voice pulled them from the tension that surrounded them. Charlie motioned with his arm for Scully to reenter the living room. Big Brother Bill was discussing something with Tara. Mulder was talking to Maggie that caused her to laugh and try and hide it behind her hand. Bill glared at her partner and then directed his wrath towards Charlie.

“You certainly took your time,” the oldest brother stated. He narrowed his eyes as Mulder and then Scully. “What happened to your hand, Dana?”

“I must’ve cut it,” she said dismissively. Charlie sat next to his mother and Scully next to Mulder. “I’m okay, really.”

Mulder was staring at her the same way he did when he was on the edge of forming a theory. He gingerly lifted her bandaged hand for an inspection as her and Charlie’s gaze met. “Are you sure?” Mulder asked. Charlie could hear the pain in his voice. “Scully?”

“Fine, Mulder. I promise.”

“You need to be more careful, Dana,” their mother admonished. “Now, let’s continue where we left off.”

Charlie watched Dana smile and lean against Mulder’s shoulder. Bill cast a withering glare before picking up a wrapped present for Tara. If their mother suspected of something, she wisely kept silent and the peace.

At January 7th continued, so did the snow. Mrs. Scully continued to play hostess entertaining her children. They all tried to pass the time by watching endless movies on the television. There was a feeling of relative peace in the household. After dinner, Bill and Tara retired to bed early as did Charlie and Mrs. Scully. Something about the notion of endless snow made the household sleepy and go to bed early. Mulder and Scully were left downstairs on his makeshift living room bed watching the weather channel on television

Now that they were alone, Mulder was afraid of doing anything else that resembled what they had the night before in her bedroom. Now that they were alone, downstairs, he wondered what he was again doing here. Stuck in Baltimore. In the middle of a snowstorm. In her mother’s house. “So today was nice,” he started.

“Bill was such an ass,” she answered in a quiet voice. She lifted her bandaged hand to inspect it. “But Charlie seems to like you.”

“Does he know?” He took her bandaged hand and held in, resting it on his thigh. She arched an eyebrow as he suddenly pulled back. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Mulder.” She played with his long fingers. “Last night wasn’t a mistake. I wanted it just as much as you.”

“But do you view it as a mistake. We can’t go back,” he said cautiously. “What happens when the snow is done and I go back to Alexandria, you go back to Georgetown, and we walk into the Hoover the next morning? What about the work?”

“The work,” she muttered. She took a deep breath, choosing her words carefully. “Mulder, there’s more to it than the work. It’s our journey now, together.” He was quiet. “Or was I wrong in assuming so?”

He shook his head. “It became about you,” he whispered. “It’s all about you. When we were on the bridge and you were being held hostage by that alien bounty hunter and I had to choose you or my sister...the only thing I saw was you. The only thing I could think of was you. I mean, here was my sister but you were the only constant thing I had in a very long time.” He gave Scully a wistful smile. “You were one heck of a little spy.”

“Still trying to debunk your work,” she teased.

“What are we doing, Scully?” he asked. His eyes stared down the hallways that led upstairs to her sleeping family. “Last night…”

“What about last night?”

“Was it a mistake,” Mulder asked. He let his insecurity show. “What we did? I’m half surprised that you haven’t thrown me out into the blizzard.”

“Why would I do that?” She played with his hair. “What?”

“This is something else I can get past. This Scully…” He played with her fingers and the gauze bandage. “You are so…”

“What?”

“Relaxed,” he replied, unable to say anything else.

“Mulder, I told you the truth. I am glad you are here. You make all this bearable. The past few months since Missy’s death, I sensed some sort of...tension between my mother and me. I feel like a part of her wishes it should have been me instead of her. I told you that she and Missy were close like me and dad right?” She shook her head. “I am glad you are here with me, Mulder. I don’t know where we are going down this journey or what the next step will be,” she said softly. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want this,” she motioned back and forth between   “to stop.”

Mulder relaxed slightly and gave her a wistful smile. “You are full of surprises, Scully.”

“You said it yourself,” she replied with a smirk, “I’m an x-file.”

Only Scully could turn something he said into something so wonderful. “I want to believe…” he teased.

She leaned closer and kissed him with a sigh. Mulder lounged back into the couch taking her with him. Unlike the night before, they were not rushed this time. He felt like a teenager and was about to get in trouble. He shifted Scully so they both were on their side facing each other. “We can’t be too loud.”

“We could go back upstairs,” he breathed.

His hands were remapping her body, cataloging each sigh and twist of her body. When he found that magic little space between her legs, she gasped. Sensing there was more coming, he increased his ministrations. There was suddenly a different sound coming from upstairs: the creaking of old stairs.

“Wait, wait. Scully!” He hissed.

She bit into his shoulder as another wave of pleasure overtook her. The footsteps were growing closer and despite Mulder’s handy work briefly pausing, the sensations Scully was causing was making him extremely uncomfortable suddenly. “Scully,” he whispered. “Someone’s coming.”

“I’m trying,” came the rushed pant in her ear, “but you’re making this very hard by being so good.”

Mulder awkwardly pulled a blanket over her and closed his eyes, trying to pretend he was asleep. Scully tried to smother a giggle that was threatening to erupt. Her hands played with him teasingly and he clinched his eyes in response. They both heard the footsteps drawing closer and Bill’s familiar voice mutter, “God damn them,” before stalking away.

Scully’s head emerged from underneath the blanket and looked at Mulder with hooded eyes. “What else do you do, Mulder?”

. . . . . . . . . .

January 8, 1996

The snow had finally stopped the next morning and it looked like an alien land as the snow reflected like crystals in the rising sun. Mulder stood by the front door, admiring the snow the stopped just below his knee through the glass storm door. He could walk through that, couldn’t he? The idea of facing Bill with the possible knowledge that he slept with his baby sister made him sick inside. Charlie was enough and did not seem keen on maiming him but Bill…

Mulder shivered.

Would he have been the same if Sam was alive? Sam...Melissa Scully. The crushing guilt came back suddenly as he was suddenly brought out of his reverie when Scully came up beside him with a cup of coffee. “He doesn’t know,” she murmured. “And even if he did, he wouldn’t say anything.” Scully eyed the snowfall. “And you wouldn’t make it down the block.”

“What makes you think I would be going alone?”

Her laughter was soft and she pulled at his hand, bringing him back into the kitchen. Mrs. Scully was making another breakfast fit for an army. Charlie was reading yesterday’s paper. Tara was watching the news while she helped her mother-in-law with the food preparation. Bill was conspicuously absent. “At least the weather has cleared up, Fox. They usually plow the roads within a day so you and Dana can get back to work. I must admit, I enjoyed your company as an added guest.”

“Thank you for not letting me freeze to death.”

Maggie chuckled. “I’m not cold-hearted, Fox.”

“Besides, the entire Scully family is not out to kill you,” Charlie added from behind the news section. Dana sat next to her brother and tossed a balled napkin at him. “I’m just stating a fact, Dana.”

Tara tore her eyes away from the television. “They are talking about shutting down the federal government for a few days because of the weather. Even if you could go back to work, you wouldn’t need to.”

“We’re classified as essential personnel,” Scully replied, “but it wouldn’t make a damn difference because of the government shutdown. We aren’t getting paid right now  .”

“Think Newt Gingrich orchestrated this blizzard, Scully?”

“It’d be a convenient excuse anyways,” she laughed.

“You wouldn’t have this problem if you were still a doctor.”

All eyes spun to Bill who looked less than pleased that morning. “Bill, I told you to stay in bed. Throwing up all night.”

“Throwing up?” Maggie Scully raised an eyebrow, going into mother mode. “Are you okay, Bill?”

“Fine,” he groaned. “I saw something very unpleasant.”

He directed his scorching gaze towards Mulder as Tara and Mrs. Scully abandoned breakfast to baby Big Brother Bill back up to bed. Scully remained silent as Charlie folder the paper causally. “Well, Dana,” he murmured, “at least you still have one Scully on your side and that knows.”

“Shut up, Charlie.”

“Don’t worry, Mulder. Bill hates everyone that Dana saw. You’re nothing special.”

Underneath the table, Mulder felt Scully squeeze his hand and give him a soft smile. Charlie set the paper aside and looked at his sister. “You were rather loud last night, Dana.”

Her eyes narrowed dangerously as Mulder wisely decided to take a sip of coffee and keep his mouth shut.

“For what it’s worth, Mulder. I’m glad you are here with Dana. Certainly spices things up in more ways than one,” he laughed.

Scully blushed and squeezed her partner’s hand as Mulder chuckled, unable to come up with a reply.

. . . . . . . . .

January 10, 1996

By Tuesday, the city and state authorities had worked through the past 48 hours to clear the roads enough for Charlie, Mulder, and Scully decide it was time to depart Maggie Scully’s house and get back to their own lives. Mrs. Scully said goodbye with Tara in front of the house. Mulder caught Bill’s scorching glare from upstairs. Goodbyes were said by Mulder, Scully, Charlie as they departed to go their separate way. As the FBI partners got into the recently unearthed car to head by to Georgetown.

“Not how you thought it would turn out, huh?”

“Not bad at all, Scully.”

“Bill certain hates you.”

“Well, your mother doesn’t. Yet.”

“Give it time,” he answered.

She laughed as they began the treacherous drive back to spend an extra day off together before the snows safely melted.

[spindlesandrosethorns]

Rolling Hills and Big Reveals  @@  War and Peace

In which Aurora goes home for answers to questions her dreams have brought to light, and Reza and Sabiha tag along for the ride. [Takes place in mid-March (i know)]

TW: death mention, blood mention, panic attacks

@rezares​

AURORA

Aurora was in a weird mood the whole train ride to her hometown. She knew she was acting weird; hyperfocused on her knitting or the passing hills and only barely responding to Reza’s rare question, but she couldn’t help herself. Every time her mind wandered, her mind went back to the last time she had gone home, or to Carabosse’s threatening words in the dream. No, better to keep her mind on more pleasant things so she could stick to her resolve than letting her fear and anxiety get the best of her.

She refused to run from this. She couldn’t depend on the reassurances of her family anymore, she had to guarantee her own safety now and had to find her own path.

The only thing that could pull her attention completely away was Sabiha, and when the little girl was awake and full of questions, Aurora was answering them with a fond smile. But Sabiha’s attention wandered, and Aurora was left on her own.

The whole mental exercise at least gave her an edge to her expression that meant that no one wanted to hold her up, and the small trio had an easy time getting off the train and into the station. Aurora hitched her day bag across her chest, bending down to make sure Sabiha’s arms were properly in her backpack straps before taking her hand. “I scheduled a cab to pick us up,” she told Reza, “so if you want to get some food to eat on the way, this is the time.”

Aurora wasn’t sure if they’d be staying for dinner, after all.

REZA

When Aurora had angrily slammed shut a spellbook, pushed her chair from the table, and hopped to her feet a few days ago, Reza hadn’t been sure what to expect. He didn’t think he’d done anything to piss her off lately… but had run over the previous few days in his head anyway.

She’d opened her mouth and Reza prepared for a tongue-lashing, but when the gist of what she shouted basically ended up being ‘Fuck this shit, you’re coming to Scotland with me to be my cheerleader while I confront my parents’ he was equal parts surprised and relieved. Relieved she didn’t want to yell at him, because being yelled to by her was scary enough. Surprised, because he sort of had assumed they’d made up.

After all, other than Christmas, she hadn’t really mentioned the fight with her parents and aunts.

Then again he hadn’t asked. For one, it wasn’t his business; and even if it was, asking would have been rubbing salt in the wound. He did give her opportunities to talk about it. Asked her how she was doing, asked her if she wanted to do Not Easter But Easter dinner at his house this year.

(Sabiha was fascinated with the concept of Easter egg hunts. He told Rory he figured he wasn’t ‘too bad a Muslim’ if he hid plastic eggs full of candies for Sabiha to find.)

He didn’t ask her directly, but she had chances to bring it up.

Her outburst made it clear that they hadn’t patched things up, which, he felt bad about. Of course he’d come with her, he said. Let me come, too! Sabiha had shouted from the loft upstairs.

And that’s how the three of them ended up on a train to Scotland to confront Aurora’s anti-sorcerer family.

… Great.

“I packed food for Sabiha, and I’m not hungry. We can grab something for you if you want.”                  

AURORA

If Aurora ate, she was going to puke from nerves, honestly. So instead, she gave Reza a smile and shook her head. “I’m good, but thank you.” The train station was as familiar to Aurora as the halls of her home, and as they walked, Aurora pointed out different venues or landmarks she knew and thought Sabiha or Reza might find interesting.

“How do you know so much about this place, Amma Rora?” Sabiha asked in French, their joined hands swinging slightly between them.

“Back when I still went to boarding school, this was the station I left from to get to school and back,” she explained with a small smile. “My house is pretty far in the country, so this was as close as I could get. Thankfully, it’s only a twenty minute drive from here to my parents.”

They stepped out of the doors into the brisk Scottish air, Aurora immediately taking a deep breath and feeling more settled than before. Even knowing her parents were at the end of this trip, even not knowing what kind of response she would get or what answers she would find, there was something about coming home that just made her feel a little bit better. It didn’t hurt that Sabiha was looking around, fascinated by their new surroundings, and that Aurora could feel Reza behind her.

The driver of a black sedan stood up straighter as the trio headed down the stairs, knocking back the brim of his hat so he could smile up at them with a gap-toothed grin. “Miss Briar, welcome back ta Perceforest,” he greeted, and Aurora smiled brightly at the familiar driver.

“Ay, thanks Bill,” she said, finally letting go of Sabiha to give the driver a hug. “Thanks for comin’ on such short notice.”

“For you, lass? Anything,” he reassured her with a laugh. Once the two broke away from each other, he gave Reza a nod and Sabiha a small bow. “And who is this wee bonnie lassie you’re travelin’ with today?”

Aurora moved to stand behind Sabiha, resting her hands on the young girl’s shoulders comfortingly. “This is my friend from Swynlake, Reza Kasraoui-Müller, and his daughter Sabiha,” she introduced; careful to get the pronunciation of their names right even though her accent had naturally thickened in response to Bill’s. “Sabiha, this is my old friend Bill,” she explained to the young girl in French. “I’ve known him since I was smaller than you.”

REZA

Sabiha was getting much better at English! She was! But Mr. Bill talked very, very funny, so she was glad her Amma ‘Rora helped her out a little by speaking French to her. Well, then! If he was a friend of ‘Rora’s, she liked him!

“Hi,” Sabiha said quietly, waving to him, before tugging on Aurora’s sleeve and whispering in French. “Tell him I’m from Tunisia and am very shy in English, but I promise I don’t not like him.”

Reza’s resting bitch face broke into a smile at Sabiha taking care to make sure Rory’s friend knew she wasn’t rude just because she might not talk to him. He wondered if anybody at school ever implied that. He hoped not. He’d ask her later, have a little chat before bed sometime.

“Aslema, pleasure to meet you.” He said, shaking Bill’s hand. “Ya Sabiha, do you want me to put your stuffy in your backpack now?”

“I’ll hold ‘im.” Sabiha replied in mumbled English, clutching her bear close to her chest.

AURORA

Aurora’s smile went all soft and fond as she leaned down to hear Sabiha’s whisper, giving her a nod and quick kiss on the head. “Of course, little bear,” she promised. Bill took it all in stride, more than used to Aurora and her mother breaking into random Portuguese at random points in the conversation, and shook Reza’s hand back firmly.

“Pleasure to have you both with us,” he said with a grin before offering to take their bags and put them in the trunk. Aurora helped Sabiha climb into the taxi, making sure she was safely buckled in the middle before sliding inside after her. Once everyone was inside the taxi and they were pulling away from the curb, Aurora made sure to pass Sabiha’s message along and Bill laughed and gave Sabiha a grin through the rearview mirror. “Don’t you worry, lassie,” he reassured, “Ol’ Bill here is used to doing all the talking!”

“Ain’t that the truest thing I ever heard,” Aurora teased.

During the ride, Aurora and Bill slipped into an easy back and forth, talking rapidly as they caught the other up on what had happened in their lives. Bill told them about his dog going into remission and his third granddaughter being born, Aurora told him about her yarn shop and Reza’s successful campaign for Town Board. Occasionally, Aurora would look over at Sabiha or Reza, silently checking up on them to make sure they weren’t feeling too awkward or ignored.

REZA

Reza didn’t mind sitting there silently as Rory caught up with her friend. He was perfectly happy braiding and unbraiding Sabiha’s hair to keep his hands busy, and whispering to her in Arabic, reminding her of her manners.

Sabiha nodded along - she was an obedient child for the most part - but at a certain point on the drive, she clearly was tired of sitting still. She looked between Rory and Reza, and in French so as not to upset Mr. Bill, asked the obligatory question.

“Are we there yet?”

“Sabiha,” Reza cautioned behind a huff of laughter.

AURORA

Aurora giggled at Sabiha’s question, grabbing her hand and giving it a small squeeze. “Not too much further, Sabiha,” she promised. They were only about five minutes out, actually, and wow didn’t that just bring back all of the fear and anxiety she’d been fighting against since before they had gotten on the train. She didn’t drop Sabiha’s hand, instead just holding on gently as she looked out the window and tried not to hyperventilate. Bill, even mundane as he was, easily sensed the shift in her demeanor and stayed quiet for the rest of the ride, only asking Reza an occasional question.

Soon, they turned onto a familiar, twisting road, and Aurora’s hand gripped Sabiha’s a little tighter as they drove deeper into the woods. Through the window, Aurora thought she could spot several floating lights, but they quickly vanished, and she wondered if they had been fairies. Off to tell either the Queen or her aunties that little Rose had come back.

She reminded herself that she was too old to lean out the window and yell at them to not tell anyone she was coming at all.

They broke through the trees and a large, stone manor stood before them. It had been in her father’s family since one of her ancestors had been titled by some long-dead monarch and given the property and surrounding fields for his own. Though the fields and farms had long turned into the bustling town of Perceforest and her family only owned some of the older, historic buildings, their house was still as grand and well-kept as the day it had been built; just updated to keep with the times. The creamy stone shone in the sunlight, all of the windows sparkling as they swung open in the spring breeze, and Aurora wanted to tell Bill to just turn right back around and drive them back to the train station.

“Here we are,” Bill said cheerfully as he pulled around the circular drive and stopped in front of the main doors. “All to shore that’s going to shore!”

Aurora hesitated, hand on the door handle as she tried to convince herself she wasn’t scared. She was brave, and confident, and came for answers. And she was going to open that door, march up those steps, and demand she got them!

… After she stopped shaking like a leaf.

REZA

As Reza stood in Rory’s driveway, all he could think was ‘Holy privilege, Batman!’ Really, he’d never even seen a house this big in person, let along been in one before. He felt almost like it was a fuck you to British colonialism by being a North African Muslim standing on the property.

Rory was shaking, and even Reza wasn’t too emotionally inept to know she was terrified.

“Hey,” Reza said, placing a hand on her shoulder and gently squeezing. “You’ll be okay.” He took his hand away in favor of holding Sabiha’s hand, and smiled at her. “I’ll be on my best behavior, don’t worry.”

And standing behind her for moral support. But mostly on his best behavior, which he’d said to make her laugh.

AURORA

She had eventually gotten out of the car, an excited Sabiha nearly falling out of her lap, and was staring up at her family home when Reza’s hand came up to her shoulder. She turned to look at him with wide eyes, and sure enough, his comment about being on his best behavior made her smile and chuckle. It was just a little huff of a laugh, but it helped unwind some of the tension lodged in her throat, and Aurora could feel some of the stress bleed from her shoulders. The reminder that she wasn’t alone helped more than anything, and Aurora gave him a soft, grateful smile.

(She wondered for a moment what he would do if she rose up onto her tiptoes and kissed his cheek to thank him, then immediately took that silly urge and buried it deep in her mind where it could never see the light of day again.)

“I’ll hold you to that,” she said instead, playfully shaking her finger at him as she stepped around him to say goodbye to Bill and pay him their fare (plus a generous tip). The cab pulled away and this time when Aurora looked up at her house, it was with the same determined expression she had worn on the train. She took a deep breath before approaching the front doors, easily going up the steps and raising the large knocker that was hung just above her head and letting it drop three times.

“Coming!” came a thickly-accented voice through the open windows, and Aurora’s determined expression faltered and turned into something smaller and vulnerable.

The door opened only a few moments later, a plump woman with dark skin and a colorful hair wrap greeting them with a smile. The smile fell the moment she laid eyes on Aurora, the woman gasping and bringing a hand to her mouth. “Rose?” she breathed, and Aurora smiled at her shyly.

“Hi Mum.”

Leah let go of the door to step out and draw Aurora in, immediately pulling her daughter into an all-encompassing hug. “Oh, Rose,” she said, voice thick with emotion as she clung to her daughter and Aurora clung back just as tight. “I’m so glad you’re alright. We were all so worried!”

“I’m sorry, Mum,” Aurora said softly, her face tucked against her mother’s shoulder as she melted into her embrace.

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Leah said, pulling back to cup Aurora’s face in her hands and gently wipe the tears that had started rolling down her daughter’s face. “You did nothing wrong. Except not call your mother when you got home safe.”

Aurora’s laugh came out as a wet hiccup, and the two women hugged each other even tighter than before; muttering to each other in Portuguese as Leah gently rubbed Aurora’s back.

REZA

Ah, you know what? This made Rory’s thing for hugs make sense. Her mother being all one hug, two hugs, eighty-nine hugs, it seemed fitting. What surprised him about her though was how African she was.

No, not black - he knew Aurora was biracial - but like, genuinely African. She spoke English with a thick sub-Saharan African accent, and he’d venture to say hers was thicker than his North African accent. Like she purposely learned to speak English clearly but just as intentionally kept her natural cadence and pronunciation.

Despite her living in Scotland for at least almost thirty years, Rory’s mother looked and sounded so African. It was cool, and against Reza’s better judgement, he really wanted to ask The Question.

An African who spoke Portuguese? She was statistically from one of six countries, but Reza could only remember three. Angola, Cape Verde, and Mozambique. There were more, he knew...fuck, but he couldn’t remember.

Was it...Guinea? Equatorial Guinea? Guinea-Bissau?

AURORA

Aurora was completely oblivious to Reza and Sabiha as she just soaked in all of the love pouring off of her mother in waves. Ever since becoming a sorceress and being able to feel and see reagents, her mother had reminded her of the beaches of Mozambique, and basking in her love felt like standing with her feet buried in the sand and her face turned towards the sun as the water lapped at her legs.

God, she had needed this.

Finally, the two had had enough, and pulled away from each other with matching wet giggles. Aurora smiled warmly as Leah kissed her cheek, her mother pulling back to wipe her own tears as she finally took notice of the other two people on her stoop. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even notice you had brought friends with you,” she said, smiling at Reza and Sabiha. She looked over the two quickly before looking back at Aurora.

“Is he your boyfriend?” she asked in Portuguese, smiling when Aurora’s cheeks immediately turned dark red.

“Mum!” she yelped, all too aware that Reza could see how flustered and embarrassed she was, and that he wouldn’t even need to be a sorcerer to do it. “No! Oh my god, no he’s not.”

“That’s a shame, he’s handsome.”

“Oh my god stop, please.”

Leah laughed, patting Aurora’s cheek as her daughter attempted to shove her face into her hands before turning to face Reza and Sabiha again. “I’m Leah, it’s nice to meet you both,” she said kindly, holding out her hand to Reza.

REZA

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Leah.” He said, giving her hand a firm handshake. “I’m Reza, and this is my daughter Sabiha.”

“You’re from where we’re from!” Sabiha said in cheery Arabic, forgetting to use her English in her excitement, and pointing to her headwrap. “Kind of.”

“Ya Sabiha, don’t point at the nice lady. That’s very rude.”

Tunisian women didn’t really dress like Leah, but, Sabiha had met plenty of sub-Saharan Africans in Tunisia for business or pleasure, so knew how people around the continent of Africa dressed. For a small child recently taken so far from home, it was exciting seeing somebody that looked like people she often ran into back home.

“She’s not trying to be rude, Leah. Sabiha’s actually very excited, because she knows you’re from Africa like she is. If I can ask; are you Angolan, Cape Verdean, or Mozambican? The Portuguese narrows it down.” Reza asked, before gesturing to himself and Sabiha. “We’re Tunisian.”

AURORA

Aurora wasn't worried about her mother being offended by Sabiha pointing; not only was she obviously Not White, but her mother had been in Scotland too long to be bothered by something as small as that. Instead she was worried that her mother would recognize Reza's name from Christmas and the whole conversation would crash out now.

If Leah did recognize the name as that of Rose's Controversial Sorcery Master, she didn't show it. She smiled at the two. “Oh, it's no problem at all,” she told Reza, “and well spotted. I'm from Mozambique.” She took Sabiha's hand in her own, giving it a soft pat. “It's nice to meet you, Sabiha,” she said in rusty Arabic.

“Please, come inside,” she said to all three, taking Aurora's hand in her own and pulling her daughter in close to her side. “Your father will want to know you're here, as well as Jo and the others,” Leah said, and Aurora's stomach dropped for half a moment.

“That's good, because that's why I'm here,” she said softly. “I have… there's something we need to talk about, Mum. Some questions I have for you all.”

Leah glanced back at Reza and Sabiha out of the corner of her eye. “Should we wait for after dinner to have that conversation?” she asked in Portuguese. Aurora shook her head.

“It's why they came with me,” she explained. “Reza's a sorcerer, mum. My teacher. And we have some questions about Carabosse.”

Leah came to a halt, looking at Aurora with that familiar, haunted expression she wore any time the curse came up. She looked at Reza again with new eyes, but didn't say anything. Instead she gave him a small, sad smile and turned back to her daughter. “Of course, Rose,” she murmured. “Whatever you need to know.”

As they walked along, Leah stopped by a gentleman dusting a painting and quietly instructed him to go find her husband. “We can go to the sun room,” she offered. “Your father can meet us there and then we can call for your godmothers.”

REZA

Sabiha gasped and bounced on the balls of her feet, chattering away in fast-paced Tunisian dialect. “You speak Arabic? Oh, good! Nobody in Swynlake does, at least none of my baba’s friends. Amma ‘Rora knows French, and I know French too, because we speak two language in Tunisia. Arabic is my favorite language though because it’s the prettiest and the most fun to write.”

“Sabiha, breathe,” Reza reminded her, patting her head. He didn’t apologize for her because he didn’t want Sabiha to ever feel bad about feeling excited, only smiled apologetically at Leah.

He didn’t say anything else, though he sensed the tension as Rory spoke to her mother in Portuguese.

AURORA

Leah gave Sabiha a gentle smile, and the similarities between mother and daughter became incredibly clear. “My Arabic is rather rusty, I’m afraid,” she admitted as she led them into an open room made mostly of glass. There were several comfortable couches arranged around a long coffee table, facing towards the glass wall and the view of the gardens beyond. You could see the forest at the edge of the grounds, and to the right, a path that led out to the cliffs and the sea.

“Sabiha’s French is wonderful,” Aurora told her mother in French so the little girl could be included, “and her English is improving every day. Soon she’s going to teach me Tunisian, and I will try very hard not to butcher it with my accent,” she joked. They were all about to sit when they heard running footsteps approaching the room, and Aurora looked to the doors in confusion. Only to yelp when they were flung back open and a tall, thin man with greying hair and a brilliant smile burst through, making a beeline for Aurora.

“Rose!” Stefan said gladly, and Aurora laughed as she ran to meet him halfway and was immediately swung into the air. “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming back to visit!”

“Surprise?” she said, still giggling in her father’s embrace. He pressed a loud kiss to her forehead, cuddling her close as Aurora beamed.

“I missed you so much,” he said. “I’m so sorry, lass.” Stefan pulled back just enough to meet his daughter’s eye. “Forgive your stupid old man?”

“We’ll see,” Aurora said with a soft smile in return, leaning up to kiss her father’s cheek and laughing when he dramatically swooned on the spot.

Leah was watching the two with a fond smile, one hand pressed to her heart as Stefan made a show of turning Aurora under his arm so he could get a good look at her. “Dear, control yourself,” she said with a chuckle. “She didn’t come alone.”

Stefan finally noticed the other two people in the room and gave them a bright smile as well. “Hello! Friends of Rose’s, I assume?”

“This is Reza and Sabiha,” Aurora introduced, gesturing at the two. “Sabiha just moved to Swynlake from Tunisia and Reza is my sorcery teacher.” She watched her father’s reaction, meeting his eyes when his head snapped back towards her and giving him a pleading look. Stefan hesitated for a moment before giving her a soft smile in return, letting go of her to instead approach Reza and hold out his hand.

“Well it’s lovely to meet ya’ both,” he said, shaking Reza’s hand and bowing dramatically to Sabiha.

REZA

Again, the words ‘holy privilege, Batman!’ echoed in Reza’s skull, bouncing around like a DVD screensaver.

His cynicism wore off at the absolutely dweeb Stefan Briar was with his daughter, only to be replaced with confusion. If they loved Aurora so much, why were they so mean to her at Christmas? Why had it been months since they spoke in any meaningful capacity?

So much seemed off about this entire thing.

And even through Stefan’s awful thick Scottish accent, Reza could sense the uncertainty about Reza’s presence even before he physically felt it when they shook hands. “Likewise.” Was all he said, his grip on Sabiha’s hand getting just a tiny bit tighter.

Sabiha, at least, was very entertained by Stefan’s dramatic bow, giggling at the funny older man. “I’m Sabiha.” She said, curtseying just as play dramatic.

AURORA

Stefan beamed at Sabiha’s little curtsy. “Why, if I had known we had a wee princess in our midst, I would have worn my nice shirt,” he said, making a show of straightening out his polo shirt. “Rose, you’ve passed on your crown already?”

“Daaa,” Aurora groaned with a laugh, coming over and gently pushing his chest until the chuckling man was upright. “Behave.”

“I am behaving! It’s not my fault kids love me!”

“It’s because you are a child,” Leah cut in with a grin, causing Aurora to snort with laughter and Stefan to gasp at the betrayal. “Come now, sit,” she said to the group. “I’ll get us all some snacks in a moment, but first, how was your trip here?”

“Fairly smooth,” Aurora said, sitting next to Sabiha as her parents sat together on the couch closest to her. They immediately held hands, gravitating to each other in the seamless way that Aurora had always loved. There was no question her parents were still as helplessly in love with each other as they had been the day they had met, and Aurora wondered not for the first time if she would be so lucky one day. “Bill met us at the station.”

“Aye, good man, Bill,” Stefan said with a grin.

Leah was the one who asked “How have you been? Since… since Christmas?” The mood in the room took a notably somber turn, Stefan’s bright smile dimming just a bit and Aurora’s fingers tangling in her lap. “We hadn’t heard from you,” Leah continued. “We were worried.”

“I’m sorry,” Aurora said softly. “I… I should have let you know I was safe. I was just…” She took a deep breath. “I had to take some time to think about what had been said,” she told them. The two adults at least had the sense to look guilty. Aurora opened her mouth before shaking her head, all too aware of Sabiha and Reza next to her. “But that’s in the past,” she said. “I’m not here to talk about that. I- something happened, last month.”

Stefan and Leah both looked at her in concern. “What happened?” Stefan asked, reaching out to lay a hand on Aurora’s knee. Aurora immediately gripped it back. “Rose?”

“Sabiha, sweetie, can you go get one of your stuffies for me out of your bag?” Aurora said instead, looking at Sabiha with a small smile. “I’m going to need some help.” And I don’t want you hearing what I’m about to say next.

Sabiha already had nightmares, she didn’t need a peek into Aurora’s.

REZA

At Aurora’s request, Sabiha crinkled her nose all confused and looked up at her father. She might get lost in this big house! And, she wanted to listen to what the grown-ups were saying.

Reza ran his fingers through Sabiha’s hair and whispered gently in their native language, “Go on, listen to Amma ‘Rora.” and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. The little girl opened her mouth to protest, but upon receiving The Look she obeyed and slid off the couch.

He watched Sabiha wander off, and once she disappeared from sight, turned to Aurora and nodded that it was safe to continue.

AURORA

The Briar’s watched the interaction carefully and their eyes were back on Aurora as soon as Sabiha was gone. It wasn’t far to the front door and all the hallways led back to the sunroom anyways, so Aurora wasn’t worried. It would be just enough time to tell her parents about her dream.

If her father hadn’t narrowed his eyes and looked between Reza and Aurora speculatively. “Is there something you two want to tell us?” he asked, trailing off while Aurora went simultaneously red and deathly pale at once. Leah immediately turned a dangerous frown on her husband.

“Stefan.”

“What!? You weren’t thinking it too?” he defended, and Aurora squeaked.

“Da, no,” she said, pointedly not looking at Reza and pointedly not thinking about the knots forming in her stomach and throat. “I’m not here because of… anything like that.” She looked down at the floor. “I’m here because I saw Carabosse,” she said quietly, not needing to see her parents’ faces to know how quickly their confusion had turned to horror. “In a dream. She spoke to me, telling me…”

Her hands were shaking in her lap, eyes squeezed shut as she relived that awful moment. The freezing water up to her ankles, rushing in faster than she thought possible. Carabosse stalking towards her, her perfectly coiled black hair coming undone and messy. The headache blooming behind Aurora’s temples as each word from her mistress threatened to bring her to her knees.

“You’re running out of places to hide, little Rose,” she said, lilac eyes wild with fury. “I will find you, and when I do, I’ll take back what is mine.” Aurora stumbled back, clutching her head as she keened in pain. “You’re mine, Aurora Briar,” Carabosse hissed. “Every breath you take is mine, every heartbeat is forfeit to me. I won’t be denied any longer, and your pitiful Mundus family with their little fairies can’t keep me from collecting their debt.”

Carabosse lunged at Aurora, her form rippling into something straight out of a nightmare as her long, thin fingers reached for her eyes. Aurora screamed, grabbing her wrists and holding her back even as her back slammed into the metal walls of the ship. “I will take what I am owed! What is MINE!” Carabosse screamed, eyes black and veins protruding under her paper-thin skin. Aurora looked at her mistress in horror, wrestling her back as the woman continued to reach for Aurora’s eyes. There was something burning inside of her, wild and untamed and furious as it writhed in her chest. Her hands burned where they met Carabosse’s skin

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Aurora screamed, kicking out at Carabosse and sending the sorceress back. She turned and ran, splashing through the water as fast as she could as she heard Carabosse’s scream following her. She ran to the end of the hall, turning and slamming the door shut behind her as she grabbed a chair that was nearby. She nearly got it under the handles to block it up when something heavy crashed into it and opened the door enough for a single, gnarled hand to shoot through and grab Aurora by her throat. She gasped as the hand didn’t squeeze, but instead there was the familiar feeling of magic draining from her body. A single black eye peered at her through the crack in the door, and the wild thing in her chest thrashed back and howled. No, she wouldn’t die like this.

Aurora reached back through the door and grabbed Carabosse’s neck in return, and tried something she had never done before. Tried to take the energy Carabosse had drained from her back.

Her skin was hot, and Aurora could feel the heat travelling through her veins and up her arm, foreign and familiar and too much and not enough all at once. Carabosse’s wide grin had turned into a snarl, and Aurora whimpered as she felt her knees begin to weaken. No, no no no no no no no-

Aurora glared back at Carabosse and held on tighter, the heat growing until she was filled to the brim with fire. It threatened to tear her to pieces, to scald her from the inside, but when Carabosse fell to her knees first, Aurora just changed her grip and held on to the wrist at her throat. Lilac eyes looked back at her with hatred and fear, and Aurora had never felt stronger.

“Leave. Me. Alone,” she rasped, tearing Carabosse’s hand away from her as the pull on her energy was replaced with something Aurora could not describe.

“I will find you,” Carabosse hissed, beating weakly against the door. “Your life belongs to me.”

“You don’t get to have any say over my life ever again,” Aurora snarled, throwing Carabosse’s hand away from her and slamming the doors shut. She propped up the chair under the handles and ran away even as the slamming began. It didn’t take long for it to get weaker and weaker, until it finally stopped.

In the next window Aurora passed, she saw her eyes were now a bright, vibrant lilac.

Aurora hadn’t realized she had been retelling the nightmare out loud until she looked up and saw how pale both of her parents had gone, Leah’s hand over her mouth in shock. She quickly looked away again. “Swynlake dreams that take you to another place and time are normal, but that wasn’t,” she explained. “It was like Carabosse knew it was really me, like she could remember the real world inside of the dream. Like she was there.”

Aurora reached up to take hold of the amethyst necklace around her throat. “I’ve never been so scared in my life,” she admitted. “I don’t even know what she meant.” She looked up at her parents. “Why did she say I was a debt that she was owed?”

Leah looked haunted, and Stefan suddenly looked twice his age.

REZA

Reza had heard most of the story, but Aurora had glazed over some details or completely omitted others. Ever the expert as suppressing his emotions and reactions, Reza shoved up any questions he had for Rory in a tiny box and crushed it.

He had to talk quickly, before Sabiha came back.

“I don’t think the two of you understand, or can comprehend, how powerful that magic has to be to follow Rory into an alternate universe and communicate with her there. That is powerful, seriously dark magic. Magic that powerful is inherently dangerous to whoever is toying with it.” Reza said, only now realizing that so far, his point wasn’t even being made, he hadn’t even been saying what he wanted to say.

“Shit. Okay, so.” He leaned in closer and lowered his voice. “My life story isn’t relevant here, so I’m not going to get into it. Nothing about me is relevant except my magic. I am a cursebreaker. That’s my whole-” and he made a series of gestures with his hand “-thing. My specialty is getting in the face of dark magic, coaxing its secrets out of it, and figuring out how to solve the problem.”

He cleared his throat and looked from Stefan, to Leah, to Rory, and smiled apologetically at Rory.

“The first day I began teaching Rory, with I first held her hand to get a feel for her magic and what I was working with, I was equal parts perpexled and terrified. It was like...like when you soak lemon slices in water. The water tastes like lemon but isn’t lemonade. It was magic that felt like Rory because it’d been in her so long, but wasn’t Rory. It was like it had become part of her, but it didn’t come from her. And it didn’t, did it, Stefan?”

Reza addressed her father directly, figuring he would be easier crack. Leah clearly was the stronger personality of the two. And maybe his status as a father himself might soften Stefan to him.

“I understand wanting to protect your daughter. Believe me I do. I was clinically dead for two minutes and twenty seconds to save my daughter’s life. So I get it, I get it. But keeping something that is literally all about something so vital to her entire being is not the way to do it. I know you’ve not been forthcoming about the truth, and so does she. I-” Reza paused. He turned to face his apprentice with a sheepish smile “Sorry, Rory that’s the only time I will speak for you, forgive me.”

And he immediately turned back to Stefan, stone-faced, and ready to get down to business. “Your daughter’s story about her curse, the one she relayed to me, it doesn’t make sense.”

“What-” he cut himself off, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. “What actually happened? What is the real truth? Tell her - tell us - so she can know and I can help her. Why does Carabosse think she’s owed Rory? Who is she in the first place? If she’s so powerful she’s able to harness the magic she does, why can’t she simply show up here and hurt her like she obviously wants to?”

“Lying up to this point has been foolish, irresponsible, and dangerous. Continuing to withhold the truth would be, frankly, willfully putting your daughter in danger.”

AURORA

Aurora watched her parents silently as Reza spoke, only looking away from them a few times to meet Reza’s eye or to lay her hand on his forearm and give it a warning squeeze. Yes, she wanted the truth, yes, she wanted the lies to end, but they were her parents.

Even if their reactions hadn’t been incredibly reassuring.

They had both looked equal parts angered and ashamed, although Leah had been the one to look up, almost hopefully, when Reza had told them he was a cursebreaker. That hope hadn’t lasted long.

Stefan was turning red, which Aurora knew from watching long conference calls and meetings between her father and his business partners, meant that he was about to blow up. “Da, please,” she said softly, reaching out for his hand. “I need to know. I’m twenty-seven, I think I can handle it now.”

Stefan looked at her, sad and confused and defeated, but it was Leah who spoke up. “Your father had nothing to do with it,” she said quietly, back straight as she met Aurora’s eyes. “If you want the truth, it will be from me.”

“Leah,” Stefan said quietly, before she held up her hand.

“Go find her godmothers,” she told her husband softly. “They need to be here for this.”

Stefan hesitated, looking back and forth between Leah and Aurora, before nodding. “I’ll be right back,” he murmured, kissing Leah’s temple before standing; giving Reza one last warning look before his eyes drifted to Aurora.

She didn’t notice. She was staring at her mother.

“What do you mean?” Aurora asked quietly as her father left the room. Leah took a deep breath, eyes closed.

“Aurora, I… The best thing I have ever done is raise you,” she said, looking at her daughter with warm golden eyes. “Being your mother is my greatest joy, and I have loved you with my whole heart since the moment I knew you were growing inside of me. But I did wrong by you, even before you were born,” she admitted.

Aurora’s hand stayed on Reza’s arm, trembling, as she looked at her mother with wide eyes.

“Your father and I were married for ten years before we had you,” Leah began. “And we had always wanted a big family. It was why we moved out here to Stefan’s ancestral home; plenty of room for plenty of kids. But no matter what we tried, we couldn’t conceive. We must have seen dozens of doctors, and they all told us the same thing. We would never have children.” Leah sighed. “It broke our hearts. I must have cried for weeks. Stefan started looking into adoption, but I couldn’t let it go. I wanted to know my own child, to see the beautiful baby Stefan and I would make. I thought I would die without knowing them.”

Leah pressed her clasped hands to her lips, eyes closed as she tried to steady herself. “That’s when I met her. A sorceress, looking out on the water from the cliffs, on the edges of our property. She asked me what ailed me, and I told her. I told her that I was barren, that it had always been my dream to have a large family, and she told me she could make it happen. She told me there would be a price, but I was so desperate that I was willing to give anything-” her words caught in her throat.

“She asked me for a sample of my blood, told me to go home, see my husband, and two months later the doctors confirmed I was pregnant. Stefan thought it was a miracle. I knew better.”

Leah smiled wetly. “The day you were born was the best day of my life. Oh, you were so beautiful. Our little Aurora, the light of our lives. For years life seemed to be perfect, watching you grow up. We were never able to conceive again, but we had you, and that was more than enough. When you were twelve, I found the sorceress again. I told her I had come to thank her, and repay my debt, but she told me it wasn’t time. She told me ‘Return to this place when your blossoming Rose turns sixteen, and invite me to your home to join the celebration. I shall stay for three nights, and when I leave in the morning, the debt will be repaid.’ And so I did.”

She shook her head. “I never thought- The debt was mine to repay, not yours. Never yours.”

Aurora didn’t know what she was feeling. The grip on Reza’s arm was the only thing keeping her on the ground. Carabosse had helped her mother get pregnant? Even before she was born, there had been an axe over her head.

“What…” Aurora started, her voice weak. “What happened next?”

Before Leah could answer, the door swung back open, and three older women rushed into the room. “Rory!” they all cried out, and Aurora spun to look at them with wide eyes. They all stopped dead when they saw the tears in her eyes, how wrung out Leah looked, and the stranger sitting next to Aurora.

“Should… we come back?” Jo asked, looking between the three as Verna and Lila tried to process the situation.

REZA

Reza pat Rory’s hand as a gesture of comfort as she rested it on his arm. He swallowed, as the story Leah told...well, it did tug on his heart. He hadn’t ever desired to be a father. It wasn’t until he agreed to get Rafika pregnant that he’d ever imagined passing on his genes. And it wasn’t until she was a few months pregnant that he realized he felt wrong about creating and child and not raising it.

He never purposely sought out being a father, but once he knew a child with his DNA was going to exist, he ached to be part of that child’s life. Reza wanted his baby so badly it hurt him to know that the arrangement was supposed to be zero involvement.

Rafika eventually saw things his way, and he never once regretted changing his mind about their original arrangement.

It would have killed him to not be able to hold Sabiha - and for the years they were separated, it tore him apart inside. So to an extent, he could empathize with Leah. About not knowing you’d get to have a baby. And then having a beautiful, perfect little girl that you loved more than anything. And her being all you could ask for and all you need.

He got it. He did.

As quickly as it came though, the empathy was gone. It was interrupted by three old white women bursting into the room. And three old white women never meant Happy Fun Times for Reza.

AURORA

The shock that had stopped her three aunties didn’t last long, and Lila was the first one to come around the couch and take Aurora’s hand. “Hiya, Rory,” she said with a small smile, perching herself on the edge of the couch with an ease that did not suit her size. Jo had gone to sit by Leah, wrapping an arm around the other woman and murmuring to her softly.

Verna was still standing in the doorway, arms folded as she stared at Reza with narrowed eyes.

“I believe this is a private conversation,” she said cooly. “Could you please give us a moment?”

“He stays,” Aurora said just as cooly, meeting her Auntie’s eyes. The floating feeling had vanished in a heartbeat, and Aurora was only too aware of herself. “I asked him to be here.” Verna looked at Aurora like she had just started speaking German.

“Aurora, this really isn’t the place-”

“He knows more about dark magic than any of us,” Aurora shot back. “I trust him. He stays.”

“That must make you the sorcery master,” Lila said casually, leaning around Aurora to wave at Reza like the temperature in the sunroom hadn’t dropped several degrees. “Nice to meet you. Stefan and your daughter are making sandwiches for everyone.”

“Verna, please, not here,” Jo said gently, holding Leah’s hand. “Stefan said-”

“I know what Stefan said and this is what I’m saying,” Verna snapped at her sister. “I don’t want a sorcerer in this house!”

“Too bad,” Aurora sniped, standing from her seat and whirling on Verna with a glare, stalking towards the woman. “It’s my curse, my life on the line, and if I say he can stay in this house, then his name can go up on the damn door.”

“That’s my girl,” Lila said proudly, shrugging in reply when Verna glared at her. The tallest fairy sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Aurora, this is-”

“What, childish of me?” Aurora asked. Reza was the only one who could see the agitation and hurt curling and twisting around her like snakes. “Am I being too naive? Too trusting? Too unwilling to accept the truth?” Each word dripped from her tongue like acid, and every other woman in the room flinched from her words. “Reza’s the only one in this room who has been telling me the truth about what’s happening to me since day one. So either sit down and tell me what’s going on, or leave. Reza stays.”

Verna had about half a foot on the much smaller Aurora, but in that moment Verna cowered back from her. Her expression morphed between confusion, anger, and betrayal, and Aurora watched the emotions cycle around and around. “Work your shit out on your own time,” she told her auntie. “We’re all adults here.”

Aurora spun back around, only catching Leah and Jo’s wide eyes and Lila’s wide grin before sitting gracefully back down next to Reza. “I’m sorry for the interruption,” she told her mother before pointedly taking Reza’s hand. She’d apologize to him later for dragging him into her family’s drama. Maybe give him a week off from Aurora’s Bullshit.

“Please, continue.”

REZA

Reza sat there unfazed by anything the bitchy fairy - Verna - shouted about him. If ‘ew, gross, sorcerer’ was the worst she had to say about him? Ha! He could handle it. He’d been called all sorts of things from a monster, to a cockroach, to a pox on Tunisian society. He’d been arrested, interrogated, tortured, beaten, shot at, almost killed in a bombing, and had an assassination attempt on him for existing while being a sorcerer.

He thinks he can handle a fairy with a sharp tongue.

“No need to defend me, Rory, but thank you. I assure you I’m far beyond the point where words about how disgusting sorcerers are can hurt me.” Subtly, he pulled up the sleeve on the arm Aurora wasn’t touching, to flash her some of the battle scars of living in North Africa as a magick.

AURORA

Aurora gave Reza a small, tired smile as she reached out and laid a hand over his scars gently, but Lila - grinning widely behind her - mouthed “That wasn’t about you, dear”. Verna had taken a seat in the last chair in the room, trying not to look like she was sulking and pointedly avoiding looking at the two sorcerers sitting together.

“As I was saying,” Leah said, looking between the two parties warily. “The day of your sixteenth birthday, I went to go get Carabosse and bring her back to the house. We put her up in our nicest guest room, treated her like family… I’m sure you remember that.”

Aurora nodded. She had been curious about the stranger her mother had brought home with the old-fashioned style and the odd smile, but at that time the Briar’s often entertained business guests and other families from around the area. Aurora had been more excited about her birthday than anything, she hadn’t had the desire to pry about Madame Carabosse.

Maybe she should have.

“None of us know exactly what happened that first night,” Jo cut in, still gently patting Leah’s hand. “Just that when we woke up the next day, you seemed to be coming down with some sort of illness. You were lethargic and unfocused, and we were all rather worried.”

“That was the first night I had the dream in the museum,” Aurora said quietly, holding Reza’s hand just a little tighter; her other hand bunched into the fabric of her cardigan. Lila gently pet some of Aurora’s curls back.

“You know what happened next,” Verna said. Her tone had gone much softer. “The three of us decided to get you a charm to help you get some proper sleep, and went up to your room to give it to you a little after everyone had retired for the night. We found the door locked, so we flew to the window and scared her away.”

REZA

“Right, the hallway dream. With the portraits. The really fucked one— uh, sorry, shouldn’t swear.” He covered his mouth with his hand.

He shook his head as Verna paused. No, no, this wasn’t becoming any clearer. Not one bit. This still wasn’t answering a lot of technical questions he needed to help her.

But this wasn’t about him. It was for Rory. And it was his job to figure out the hard part anyway.

“That still doesn’t explain...so much.” Reza said quietly, biting his lip and just. Thinking. Thinking hard.

AURORA

Reza was right, it wasn't explaining much. After the bombshells her mother had dropped, Verna's explanation had just left her more confused.

“But what was she doing?” she asked. “What did she want from me? What does she still want from me? And why did she wait until then?”

“We don’t really know-” Verna started, before Lila threw a pillow at her.

“Oh be quiet, you're not helping,” she said flatly as Verna squawked. Lila turned back to Aurora. “When we came to the window, Carabosse was sitting on your bed, singing to you. I'm not an expert on dark magic so I'm not sure exactly what she was doing, but it tied the both of you together.”

Aurora reached up for her necklace, holding onto it shakily as she remembered her dream. Carabosse standing over her as she lay trapped in a body that wouldn't move, humming as she drew the magic out of Aurora's body and into her own. Playing with the amulet around her neck, runes shining all wet and red. Aurora hadn't thought it had made any sense, but the knowledge that Carabosse had given her mother a spell to help her conceive… that they were tied together before she was even born… that Carabosse had asked for her blood...

Vibrant, terrifying lilac eyes staring at her from a pale face framed in black hair. Aurora's mother had golden brown eyes, and her father's were blue.

Aurora reached up, fingers brushing along her cheek under her own eyes. All of the women in those paintings in the museum in her nightmares, their eyes were purple too. And then, when they died, they were gone.

Aurora, running through the ship after Carabosse died, with vibrant, terrible lilac eyes.

A small sob rose up her throat and Aurora covered her mouth, trembling. “She… She came back for her magic,” she whispered. Aurora looked up at Reza with wide, horrified eyes. “That's why my magic doesn't feel like my own, it's hers. And it's in- it's inside of me.”

Aurora finally let go of his hand, covering her face as the horror washed over her in waves.

REZA

Reza’s blood ran cold as Aurora came to the frightening conclusion on her own. He didn’t have time to process his ah-ha moment of I knew something was off about this magic! as even he wasn’t so callous. Being right, and letting it known he’d been right, didn’t beat out looking after Rory.

It was his job as her friend and Master sorcerer to consider her well-being. And prodding her like a frog dissection wasn’t it, chief.

“Rory, breathe,” Reza said gently, patting her back between her shoulder blades. He looked to the white lady who seemed least likely to kill him (Lila). “Could you grab her a glass of water, please?”

He could feel and see the panic, horror, and disgust (the kind that only could be directed at oneself) rising in her. The first two, he got. The disgust, he didn’t like one bit. And he wasn’t sure he had the right words. Or actions. He knew he didn’t, in fact. He only knew he could try his best.

“Hey. Habibti, listen.” Reza said, moving off the couch to crouch in front of her on the ground, wincing as it sent pain to his bad leg, mostly from the knee up. He rested a hand on if of her knees, and chased her eyes even as they moved to avoid his gaze.

“Try to breathe. She would be thrilled to freak you out, win by collecting yourself. I know this is scary, and I’m not telling you not to be scared.” He said, clipped Tunisian accent filling the room even as he spoke low and measured. It was silent otherwise. “I have worked against some serious dark magic, Rory. Okay? I’ve got you. That’s how people like us survive in my country, we’ve got each other.”

“So be scared, and shocked, but don’t let her win for even a little while. Breathe. We’ll figure this out.”

Still on the ground, he looked over his shoulder at Leah, Jo, and Verna. “Is there anything else you can tell me — us — er, Rory. It’s important you share everything with m— her. So I can help her.”

If Aurora was right about her being inside of her… holy hell, this was some of the darkest magic he’d ever heard of, let alone tried to interact with. He needed to know every precious iota of information.

AURORA

The rest of her family had jumped to their feet when Aurora had started to shake, but they all kept their distance; not wanting to crowd her. Instead they watched Reza kneel in front of her, speaking to her in a low, calm voice.

Aurora didn't see them move, didn't notice them at all. All she could think about was the magic in her body, pressing against her skin with an uncontrollable desire to escape. All this time, it had just been looking for a way out. Her aunties were right. Aurora wasn't a sorceress.

She was a bomb.

Her eyes were dry even as she began to shake and hyperventilate, staring into space and resisting the urge to pull her own eyes right out of her head. They were her's, so much of her was just what Carabosse had left behind! If she pulled the curse out of her, what would even be left?

Reza finally caught her eyes and held them; wide and frantic as she pressed her hands against her mouth so hard she could feel her teeth through her lips. His voice slowly worked past the blood pounding in her ears, and Aurora reached out for him; her hands fisting into the fabric of his shirt near his shoulders.

“Try to breathe,” he said, and she gasped in response. “I've got you,” he reassured, and Aurora pressed her face against his shoulder as she trembled. His shirt stayed dry; he was right, Carabosse did not get her tears.

She stayed that way, silent and shaking behind her hair, as her family watched in various states of discomfort and sorrow. “We haven't seen her since we scared her off,” Jo said, looking like being away from Aurora was physically painful. “Lila enchanted the grounds so she couldn't cross onto them, and Verna and I made Aurora's amethyst charm to keep Carabosse from being able to find Aurora again. Since then, nothing.”

“If we knew more, do you think Aurora would still be suffering like this?” Verna asked. “We've got no leads that we haven't already chased down.”

REZA

Reza… Did Not Do This Shit.

He wasn’t equipped to handle Aurora’s breakdowns, or anybody’s, really. But he knew how to talk someone out of self-destructing after trauma, and the tactic he was employing here was similar. ‘Don’t let them see you upset even with your friend’s blood on your cheek’ became ‘don’t let the bitch who cursed you win’ in a heartbeat.

“Yes, actually, she probably still would.” Reza said calmly to Verna. “You can’t just get somebody uncursed because you know the whole damn Wikipedia page by heart. Which is why it’s so important you’ve told me everything you all know.”

“Cursebreakers aren’t a half pence a dozen like some other areas of sorcery.”

AURORA

The conversation went in circles for several minutes after that, just rehashing the same information over and over, and Aurora honestly wasn't paying attention to most of it. She was busy trying not to fling herself against Reza’s chest where she could curl up and just hide from the rest of the world. It was obvious that her family didn't know much more about Carabosse or how she worked than Aurora did, and the realization that they were flying nearly blind dragged down at her morale.

She wanted to fucking sleep for a week.

Soon enough, Sabiha and Stephan came back with sandwiches and lemonade; the young girl taking one look at Aurora before curling up against her side as they ate. Her parents invited them all to stay for the night, and Jo and Lila talked enough that there weren't too many awkward lulls in the conversation. Even Verna started to loosen up a bit when she learned that Sabiha was half-fairy.

Once her food was eaten and she was sure Reza and Sabiha wouldn't be too uncomfortable, Aurora went to take a long nap, crying into her pillow for an embarrassingly long time. She did not sleep peacefully, and only looked more tired when she came back downstairs. She found Reza on the back porch, watching Sabiha and Lila splashing together in the stream behind the house as only two Water Talent fairies could. Aurora silently joined him, leaning against the railing as she fiddled with a long curl of hair.

“Thank you,” she said finally, her voice small. “For coming out here with me.”

REZA

Reza anxiously waited for Rory to wake up from her nap. He liked Jo and Lila enough to let Lila take Sabiha to play in the stream with her water talent magic, and Rory’s parents were nice, but he didn’t like being here.

Their home only reminded him of privilege, of the wealthy white European tourists whose asses he had to kiss while a server and bartender at resorts to afford to put Sabiha through good schools and English language tutoring. He knew it was irrational, to be so uncomfortable here. They’d been nothing but kind to him and his daughter. Still, he didn’t like being here without Rory as a buffer.

He didn’t talk much to anybody - except Jo and Lila - while Rory was sleeping. And when he recognized her soft footsteps approaching him, he almost sighed in relief.

“Hey. I was happy to do it.” Reza assured her, placing a hand on hers and giving a reassuring squeeze before taking his hand away to gesture to the stream. “Sabiha’s made a friend.”

AURORA

Aurora’s heart tripped a couple beats when he squeezed her hand, and she shot him a brief, grateful look as she squeezed it back before letting go. She followed his gesture and smiled softly as Sabiha laughed with water dancing around her. “I'm glad,” she said, watching the two playing together and remembering summers of doing the same thing; young and eager and completely mundane as she chased fish along the stream and splashed anyone who got close to her.

Part of her wanted to run out and join them. Part of her didn't want to ruin the moment.

Aurora hung on to herself as she leaned against the railing, trying not to shiver in the warm spring air. “Do…” she started, pressing her lips together when the words got caught in her throat. “I don't know what happens next,” she whispered. Her eyes dropped to the ground, and she tried not to think about how pathetic she must look.

REZA

As infallible as he liked Rory to think he was, Reza was no miracle worker and certainly no god. Much to his own chagrin he had to admit that he, too, was at a loss. He didn’t want to give Aurora false hope, but didn’t want her to think he would give up on her just because it was hard. And if she thought so? She didn’t know him, not really.

“Neither do I, to tell you the truth.” He said calmly, turning to his apprentice with an expression that was kinder than neutral while not quite a smile. “But I’ve worked with less before.”

“And, Aurora?”

A beat.

“The self-loathing is coming off you in droves, ya habibti. I’m glad Sabiha isn’t old enough to properly see and identify reagents yet.”

AURORA

It wasn’t that Aurora thought Reza was infallible, per say, it was just that he knew this part of their world so much more than her. He was a sorcerer born and raised. Aurora wasn’t even sure what she was anymore.

The fact that he wasn’t lying or sugarcoating anything for her was greatly appreciated, and she gave him a small, wry smile. His second comment, however, had her blinking at him in confusion before her cheeks colored in embarrassment. It was one thing to feel that horrible hatred and disappointment in her chest, it was another to know someone else was witness. Aurora was good at hiding that part of her; the ugly voice in her mind that screamed and howled day and night and made sure she stayed in her place.

Aurora looked away from Reza quickly, hiding under her hair and trying to make that voice as small as possible so maybe he couldn’t see it. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” she said, unable to keep the edge of sarcasm from her voice. The smaller she tried to make it, the louder her thoughts got, and Aurora pressed her lips together firmly.

“Don’t worry, this is one problem you don’t have to help with,” she said tiredly. Reza had already shouldered enough of her baggage for one day. Her eyes slipped to Sabiha, laughing as she kicked water up at Lila and Jo, and her heart twisted even further in her chest.

No, she couldn’t ask Reza to help with this. This predated him by years; this was Aurora’s burden alone.

REZA

“There’s no need for it. You are so many wonderful things.” Reza said quietly, before turning away and walking a few feet across the porch to get a closer look at Sabiha playing.

Reza’s heart was so full of love for his little girl. Their four years of separation only made him appreciate having her more.

“It would be rude to decline your mother’s offer to stay for dinner.” Reza said slowly, changing the subject. “But I think Sabiha and I will just stay in a hotel in town tonight.”

He hoped she’d let him without protest. Admitting he was uncomfortable and why wouldn’t...go over great. Probably.

And he could see the bedtime conversation with Sabiha from a mile away. Being with fairies— a water fairy — again? She’d surely ask about Rafika. Ask her why she didn’t come here with her, and not for the first time. He didn’t want prying ears for that conversation between them.

She was eight. Soon to be nine. It would take several more rehashings of that conversation to actually understand.

“Verna hasn’t said anything nasty since she found out she’s half-fairy. She doesn’t trust me I don’t think; rightfully so, I’m a stranger to her. But I’m glad she’s partial to my baby. Some fairies from Rafika’s hollow were prejudiced against half fairies.”

AURORA

“You are so many wonderful things.”

It was a very good thing Reza had turned away from her, because her reaction to that quiet, simple statement was, frankly, embarrassing. She stared after him, mouth hanging slightly open as his words echoed again and again in her head. Her heart lept in her chest, a warmth spreading to her toes and fingers that smothered the fear and uncertainty that had been rising in her since her realization earlier. At her temples, flowers burst into bloom; a crown of affection and warmth and a feeling she wouldn’t name woven through her curls for only her and Reza to see.

That simple statement made her glow, as did the soft, shy smile that curled her lips in reply.

It felt like the world should have stopped, should have let her process the feelings a few words from her Master had stirred in her, but life continued at the same pace as before and Aurora was left to blink at him as he continued to speak. “Oh,” she said, voice soft. “Yeah, of course. If you think it would be best.” Normally Aurora might have protested a little more, would have insisted he was welcome to stay, that it would be an honor to have him and Sabiha as their guests, but she didn’t need to be able to see reagents to know her family’s home made him uncomfortable.

Did that make her sad? Yes. She wanted him and his daughter to find as much comfort in her home as she found in his, but she could acknowledge that it was… a lot.

Aurora drew closer as the conversation shifted to her aunt, arms still wrapped around herself as she came to stand by Reza’s side. Not too close, not in his space, but enough so they didn’t have to raise their voices and risk being overheard. “My aunt is being difficult in the extreme, but she wouldn’t say no to a fairy without a Hollow,” she admitted, still annoyed with Verna. “And it’s not like the others care. Hell, they let me hang around and I don’t have any fairy blood at all.”

She glanced up at Reza before looking back at Sabiha. “... It’s not the same as a Hollow in Tunisia, but if she ever needs it, they’ll open their arms to her,” she offered quietly. “My aunts will vouch for her and so will I. Just… if she needs it.” Aurora couldn’t drag Sabiha’s mother back to her sense by the ear, but she could try and make sure that no part of Sabiha’s heritage was denied to her. Even if all she had to offer was a watered-down version. “No pressure. None of us will be upset if you don’t take that up. I know it’s not the same.”

REZA

Aurora’s kind offer warmed Reza’s heart - while at the same time, it stung. It reminded him of how Rafika had left Sabiha, how Reza couldn’t give her a connection to that part of herself. It was by sheer luck his first apprentice since Tunisia was a woman partially raised by fairies.

Without Aurora, what would he do about that? No, really. He hadn’t exactly befriended any of the fairies around Swynlake. Aurora’s aunties were the first fairies Sabiha’s met since leaving home. It must have been so nice to meet them. He felt bad for being so adamant he and Sabiha stay in a hotel, but...it was for the best.

Reza and Sabiha needed to talk, anyway. He wanted to check in with her about how she was feeling about her mother, after meeting new fairies.

His anger at Rafika came back to him like an overdue boomerang, and he hated it. He was here for Rory, not to feel red hot rage at his baby mama. The sorcerer took a deep, measured breath, and turned to Rory with a thin smile.

(If he showed how happy he was on his face, he’d...honestly, probably cry. But she could tell. She was a sorceress, after all.)

“That’s the kindest thing anybody has ever offered me, Aurora.” Reza said. “Really. A chance to provide my daughter with a link to her heritage that I can’t myself? I’d owe you - and your aunties - forever.”

“I can teach her how to be Tunisian, Muslim, a good person, and a sorcerer. But I can’t teach her how to use her water talent fairy magic.”

AURORA

There was a flash of anger in Reza that scared Aurora, made her think she had overstepped her boundaries. But it was overshadowed by his happiness and Aurora could feel her own building up in her chest in reply. She smiled up at him, cheeks flushed.

“You wouldn’t owe us anything, it’s the least we can do,” she promised him. Aurora looked out to where Sabiha stood in the stream, giggling in delight. “She deserves everything,” Aurora said softly, clasping her hands together so she didn’t give in to the urge to reach out to him. She wanted to hold his hand, to rest her head against his shoulder as they watched his daughter play and laugh. It was nice to know that even as Aurora’s world got turned inside out, there was still plenty of joy to be found in the world.

“She’s a lucky girl, Hollow or not,” Aurora told him. “You’re a wonderful father. She’s going to be just fine.”

REZA

Reza’s eyes were glued to Sabiha. Y’allah, he loved her so much, she was the best thing that could ever have happened to him. Aurora was right. Sabiha deserved the world, but Reza couldn’t do that for her. He had his limits - financially, and, in his knowledge of what it was to be a fairy.

“Wonderful? I wouldn’t go that far. Sabiha at least shouldn’t grow up traumatized because of my parenting, so I’m okay with ‘decent.’ She deserves much more than what I’ve been able to do for her.” He smiled sadly as he watched Sabiha give a big yawn in the stream.

“Aw,” Reza pressed a hand to his chest and laughed. “She’s getting sleepy.”

They should go soon, leave Rory and her parents to talk. (Get him out of his far too large house, that just reminded him of some of the people he had to work for in Tunisia to help support his sisters after his mother left, or support Sabiha.)

“I just want her to stay small and cute forever.”

AURORA

Aurora saw Sabiha yawn too and giggled, covering her grin. Carabosse and her curse felt so far away in that moment, and Aurora understood all too well how Reza felt. She wanted to stay in that quiet, peaceful moment forever.

But time wouldn’t stop for them; Sabiha would grow up, Carabosse would come back for her debt. But there would be another spot of light, another moment like this. Aurora just had to make it from one to the next.

“Take a picture then,” Aurora teased, bumping her hip against Reza’s before leaning down to take off her shoes. She easily made her way down onto the lawn, approaching the fairies with a bright smile as she stepped into the stream with them. They welcomed her gladly, Sabiha throwing herself against Aurora’s legs as the older woman laughed. It wasn’t long before they were splashing each other, Aurora not caring if she got wet or not as she helped to tire the little girl out. 

Letting herself exist in younger Aurora’s skin for a few stolen moments before the world came back for her and she had to face it all with her blinders gone.

[ndrv3ultimateimagines]

V3 Girls interacting with their s/o’s grouchy but well meaning grandfather

Hey everyone! I'm sorry about not posting earlier, i was going through a crappy bout of writer’s block but i think I'm over it now. I hope you guys like this one! I apologize if some parts of this aren't that great, this was a tricky one to write tbh.

-Mod Korekiyo

Kaede Akamatsu: ◆ After you started dating Kaede, word had gotten out in your family and ended up reaching your grandparents. Your optimistic grandmother was excited to meet her! ◆ Your grandpa? Well he was another story…. ◆ He was very strict and could be a bit judgmental of anyone went out with. ◆ When you two arrived at your grandparents, your grandmother happily invited you two inside while your grandpa sat on the couch. you two sat down in front of him. ◆ “Hello! My name is Kaede Akamatsu! nice to meet you!” She smiled and held out her hand in front of your grandfather’s. ◆ “i’m not one particularly for hand shakes…” Your grandfather grumbled as the bright smile from your girlfriend’s face began to fade. ◆ “I’m more of a fist-bump kind of guy.” Your grandfather smiled as he bumped fists with Kaede. ◆ It seemed like your grandpa and Kaede actually got along. ◆ The four of you spent the rest of the day playing cards and talking about your relationship.

Maki Harukawa: ◆ Maki honestly wasn’t too interested in meeting your family. ◆ But it was Easter and you had invited her to your grandparents for dinner that night and she didn’t want to be rude so she obliged. ◆ Your Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Grandmother were all saying hello and shaking Maki’s hand! ◆ Except for your grandpa. ◆ He wasn’t in a particularily good mood that night, and he ended up not greeting your girlfriend, which obviously annoyed your grandmother. ◆ Maki and you had both helped out your family with cooking dinner while Maki told them more about herself, Maki in particular making the pie and green beans while you helped prepare the lamb. ◆ Everyone in the family enjoyed maki’s food! Or so you thought…. ◆ “These green beans are quite runny…” your grandpa grouched. ◆ “But your woman made a fine blueberry pie.” ◆ Maki’s poker face that she had worn since she showed up grew into a small, shy smile.

Miu Iruma: ◆ It was thanksgiving, and your extended family wanted to meet Miu after hearing from your parents about her. ◆ You had begged her to not curse or make sexual innuendos in front of your family, especially your extended family. ◆ Buuuut of course she didn’t listen. ◆ While carrying a bowl of cranberry sauce to the dining table, she stubbed her small toe against the door way, and ended up breaking it and dropping the cranberry sauce on the floor. ◆ “Oh fuck me! agh!” She cried, holding her toe as your whole familys’ jaws dropped. ◆ Your grandpa was the most upset about her use of foul language. “I would appreciate it if you would not curse in my house.” he growled towards Miu. ◆ Lets just say it was an awkward dinner, and your grandpa was pretty much extremely grouchy the whole time. ◆ After dinner, while cleaning up, he said to Miu. “Well i do hate cranberry sauce anyways, so I’m glad you dropped it.”, chuckling deeply.

Angie Yonaga: ◆ Angie really wanted to meet your family members, so you agreed to take her across the state to your grandparent’s house. ◆ You knew that Angie would be polite towards your grandparents, so you weren’t extremely concerned. ◆ That is until you two actually were sitting on your grandparents’ couch, and she began talking about her religion and Atua. ◆ Your grandmother seemed quite intrigued with Angie’s talk, but your grandfather on the other hand…. ◆ Well lets just say the look on his face wasn’t very pleasant. ◆ “Wow, thats a very weird religion…” he grumbled with his brows furrowed. ◆ Angie was about to speak more but your grandpa interrupted. ◆ “Though you are into a very odd religion, I wouldn’t mind learning more about it.” ◆ Angie was obviously very happy to hear this and ended up spending hours talking away about Atua to your grandfather, while you and your grandmother ended up falling asleep on the couch.

Himiko Yumeno: ◆ It was Christmas Eve, and you had dragged Himiko out of her house to go a few states over to stay at your aunt’s for the weekend. ◆ She was optimistic and willing to meet your family, but still lazy. ◆ You had eventually convinced her to help your family cook a turkey for dinner, even though she didn’t really want to. ◆ During the dinner-making process, Himiko was so tired that she ended up falling asleep with the turkey in the oven. ◆ She had later awakened to the smell of smoke and yelling, and realized the turkey had caught on fire. ◆ Your girlfriend panicked and helped put the fire out. Luckily no one got hurt, but your family wasn’t pleased, especially your grandfather, who loves turkey. ◆ “Jesus Y/N! Couldn’t you get a girl who doesn’t let a turkey catch on fire?” ◆ When he noticed that Himiko seemed upset, your grandpa immediately lightened up. ◆ He apologized and you all ended up ordering pizza, paid for by your grandpa.

Tsumugi Shirogane: ◆ It was spring break, and you two never made any plans, resulting in lots of boredom. ◆ Also, your girlfriend, Shirogane, was running short on cosplay ideas and was exceptionally bored. ◆ Recently, your grandpa had complained about some tears in his clothing, and he nor your grandmother knew how to sew. ◆ You had asked Shirogane if she could help, and she happily obliged. ◆ While sewing one of his shirts, she was cutting some thread, and then…. ◆ oh no ◆ she accidentally cut off one of the sleeves on his shirts. ◆ She quickly apologized to your grandpa, who wasn’t happy and told her to leave and not touch any of his clothes again. ◆ A few days later, your grandpa had called you and asked if he could speak to your girlfriend. ◆ “I apologize for how i spoke to you. I hated that shirt anyways.” ◆ Shirogane and your grandpa were quickly on good terms again.

Kirumi Tojo: ◆ It was summertime, and Kirumi was short on money and looking for a job to earn her some more cash. ◆ You knew your grandfather lived alone and needed help with cleaning the house. You talked to your grandfather and he agreed to meet your girlfriend and pay her good money for cleaning his house. ◆ Soon enough, she was your grandfather’s new maid around the house. ◆ She would notice your grandfather would mumble under his breath with his brows furrowed if she was in the same room as him. she would also notice he would tend to scoff or scowl at her a lot, too. ◆ You assured her that your grandpa was truly a nice old man, he just could get grumpy sometimes. ◆ One day, when she was dusting the dining room table with the elderly man in the room, she had accidentally knocked over a vase and it shattered all over the floor. Tojo began to panic. ◆ “Sir, I am truly so-“ ◆ “Let me help you clean that up.” ◆ The older gentleman patted her on the back assuringly and slowly helped her sweep up the glass off the ground. ◆ From then on, you noticed your girlfriend was a lot more comfortable going to your grandfather’s house.

Tenko Chabashira: ◆ Tenko has been wanting to meet your family for a good while now, so when you had told her about your family reunion across the country she was more than happy to come. ◆ After hours of driving, you two finally ended up at your cousin’s house, with your grandparents there already. ◆ She walked up and greeted each of your family members with a handshake, but when she went to greet your grandpa, she accidentally stepped on his foot. ◆ Your grandpa growled and yelled “HEY WHATS YOUR PROBLEM??” ◆ “Aaaa Tenko apologizes!  Tenko is sorry, she shouldn’t have done that!” ◆ Tensions were pretty high for most of the night, and its obvious your grandpa is in a bad mood because of Tenko stepping on his foot. ◆ Later on though, your grandfather comes over to tenko, apologizing for his reaction earlier and hands her $20, even though Tenko kept refusing to take it. ◆ Things between your grandpa and tenko were quickly resolved.

[boyf-canons]

Connor Murphy x Reader: Boy next door

{Very basic but hey. Connor’s phone number is supposedly the Easter bunny’s number. Anybody wanna call & see if that’s true? Feel free to request one shots or headcanons! That would be awesome.} 

* This was it. You were finally finished moving into your new house in a new city with new everythings. Nothing was familiar. Your dad had gotten a major promotion in his job, which would require a move. A move specifically 3 states away from home.

You were happy for your dad, really. You were just a little less happy for you. Being a teenage girl, starting over completely at a brand new highschool in a new city with no friends was going to be a challenge. You weren’t going to lie; you were terrified. Tomorrow marked the beginning of the new school year.

In the meantime, however, you found yourself getting ready for a dinner with your neighbors; the Murphy family. Your parents were thrilled when they received the invitation, and despite all your desperate protests you were being forced into going. You were less than thrilled, to say at the least.

“(Y/N), are you ready?” Your mom called from outside your room. You finished brushing your hair, took one more look to observe your finished look for the night, and yelled back.

“Yeah, I’m coming!”

You muttered to yourself. “Let’s get this over with.”

Half an hour later you found yourself sitting with your family around a dining room table in a home that belonged to two parents, a daughter, and a son. Cynthia & Larry, Zoe, and Connor Murphy to be specific. The introductions were slightly awkward, but the family seemed nice enough. There was a little bit of tension between Connor and everybody else for a reason you didn’t know, but other than that things were going fine.

“So (Y/N),” Cynthia speaks up, “what are your interests? What do you like to do in your free time?”

“Well, I like theatre, yoga, knitting and sewing, reading.. Just boring stuff like that, nothing special.” You answer, feeling a little sheepish. You notice Connor perk up, but don’t mention anything. Mainly because he’s a genuinely intimidating person, but hey.

“Oh! You like knitting? Connor here loves to knit!” Cynthia exclaims, gesturing to her son. “Of course he won’t let us see what he makes, but he’s always having to go out and buy supplies.”

Connor face palms. Really hard. “Fucking hell.” He mutters, getting up and trying to retreat to his room.

“Connor honey, sit down. We have company.” Cynthia orders. He does as he’s told but sports a very irked expression.

The rest of dinner after that was awkward, the tension that hung in the room earlier even heavier now. Everyone tried to ignore the fact that Connor seemed uncomfortable and angry. Still, the sets of parents continued to make civil conversations while both you and the Murphy teens chewed in silence. By the time everyone finished their meals, your mom said it was probably time for you all to head home. Thanking the Murphy’s for dinner and saying individual goodbyes, you and your parents were out the door.

Well, that could have gone worse.

* You woke the next morning to the dreaded beeping of your alarm, rolling over to shut it off before you went crazy. Realizing what today was, you took a deep breathe and groaned.

“This is it. Let’s make it count, me.” You say to yourself, jumping out of bed and getting ready as fast as possible since you had to be at school early to get your schedule. The car ride to school went faster than you wished it would have, and before you knew it you were climbing out to go inside.

You made your way to the front office, went through all the necessary introductions, you had a teacher run you through where your classes were and took your printed schedule. Heading to your 1st period English 4 class, you clutched your coffee tighter and trudged through the hallways.

When you walked through the door, you glanced around the room to see what seats were taken and which weren’t. Your eyes landed on a familiar face; Connor Murphy. Your new neighbor Connor Murphy, to be exact.  You smiled lightly, taking comfort in knowing there was someone you were at least a little bit familiar with in your class. You walked towards his seat and sat down beside him, analyzing his face as he looked up at you. His expression was blank.

“You?”

“Uh.. Yeah. Me.”

Connor rolled his eyes, but spoke again. “Didn’t know you were going to this school, (Y/N).” He said, definitely uninterested.

“This was the only public school in my district, so here I am.”

“By the way you present yourself I’d assume you belong in private, but okay.”

“What does that mean?” You questioned, confused.

He let out a small laugh to himself and answered, “You just seem like a goody-two shoes, prissy type of girl. To clarify, the type of people I don’t hang around with.”

You scoffed. “I am not a priss! Do you know how judgmental it is to make that assumption about someone because of one totally silent dinner and one outfit? Because that’s kind of a dick move, Connor. Plus, I’m new and literally don’t know anybody else so if you could do me the miraculous favor of just letting me sit next to you, that’d be fantastic. Cut me some slack.” You said with full sincerity. It was a small comment Connor made, but you were picked on at your old school and you weren’t standing for anything this time around.

You noticed his face fall a little bit, but he still bit back with “Whatever you say, princess.”

“Great.” You muttered, sarcasm dripping from your voice. Before Connor could react, the teacher waltzed in holding a hot pocket.

“Hello class,” he began with a sing-song voice, “I’m Mr. Reyes. I’m your teacher for English 4. I’ll allow you to sit wherever you want, just as long as you don’t disrupt my class. Now! Let’s go over the curriculum.” Mr Reyes practically sang his introduction.

To your surprise, Connor leaned over to whisper to you. “I have a feeling I’m going to need a lot of distractions from this guy.” He placed a note on your desk, and you read the writing.

Connor(me): 973-409-3313

You gave him a quizzical look, but pulled out your cell phone and quickly added his number to your contacts. Sending a new message, you simply typed ‘sup’. Connor smiled, pulling out his phone too and immediately logging into it to message you back.

Connor M Who brings a hot pocket to school? Lol

You laughed softly to yourself and wrote back.

(Y/N) Mr. Reyes apparently. What classes do u have?

Connor M Why? Wanna see if we have any more together?

(Y/N) You wish. Whatev, idc. So Connor. Knitting, huh? Your mom said u like it B)

Connor M Fuck off it’s therapeutic

(Y/N) Rude. So u actually do it?

Connor M Yeah. Problem?

(Y/N) Nah, I love knitting. I make lots of hats, scarves, socks, and I made a sweater once. It’s pink

Connor M Cool. Never tried hats b4. Or any of that other stuff.

(Y/N) Huh? So what do u make?

The bell rang.

Time had gone on so fast that you didn’t realize an entire period has passed. You locked your phone and packed up your stuff. Connor did the same.

“See ya, Murphy.” You called, standing up and turning to leave the class.

“Yeah, see ya.” Connor looked up at you, watching you leave. His eyes seemed kinder than when you first walked in.

* You somehow made it halfway through the day okay and found your way to the lunchroom, which was an accomplishment. Major accomplishment. Now your main challenge was actually finding people to sit with. You could either stay inside in the lunchroom or head out to the courtyard outside. You decided on the latter, thinking if you were going to be alone you might as well do it in a less crowded place with nice weather. The sun’s out today.

You carried your blue lunch box and pulled out your phone so you could pretend to be texting while walking to the courtyard. It was less embarrassing to be alone that way if you look like you’re busy anyways. Typing random letters into your notes, you collided with someone. Directly slamming your face into their chest, collided. Talk about humiliating.

You looked up, already beginning to spew out frantic apologies when you saw who it was.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t- Oh. Connor.”

“Pfft. Look where you’re going, much?” He asked, looking down on you.

“Hello to you too. Sorry, I was just trying to find somewhere to sit.” You told him half-heartedly.

“On your phone?” He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think your phone will tell you where to go.”

“You don’t have to be rude about it.” You throw out. You look at the ground, avoiding Connor’s gaze. “Can I sit with you? I don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

He didn’t answer for a second, which worried you. You lifted your head to see him, and he looked slightly confused, but he nodded his head. “Follow me.”

You walked with Connor to a small picnic table under a tree where he had a soda and a sack lunch splayed out. You sat down and unpacked your things, and you both ate. There wasn’t much conversation, but it wasn’t total silence. It wasn’t bad.

The rest of the day passed you by oh-so-slowly. You were beyond relieved when you finally got to go home. Your mom came to pick you up since you didn’t have the energy to drive. She made the average 'how was school’ small talk until you got home, but after that she let you be and you went up to your room, flinging yourself onto the bed. Ugh.

Your phone buzzed and for the second time that day, you saw a brand new message from Connor Murphy.

Connor M How was ur first day? Our school sucks

(Y/N) I mean? It was okay I guess. Didn’t make any friends but I made it through ok.

Connor M Wrong. U made me

(Y/N) Yeah?

Connor M Yeah.

You sent back a smiley face and clicked your phone off, looking out your window only to notice Connor’s room was directly across from yours. Hm.

* The next day went just as your first did. Your second went the same way. And the third. The school days went okay and other than Connor, you didn’t talk to anyone. You two texted back and forth during English and ate lunch together. You talked more than you did yesterday. When you got home, Connor would text you and sometimes you’d talk from between your windows. Slowly, you two stared hanging out more outside of school.

That’s how life went for awhile.

A couple months into the school year, you found yourself hanging out in Connor’s room at 4pm on a Wednesday. You were lying on his bed while he sat in his window sill. You were explaining in detail your favorite musical, all the tiny details included.

Connor laughed. “Jesus, (Y/N). I had no idea you were so into this shit. I knew you liked theatre but I didn’t know it was this intense!”

“Shut up, I bet you have interest in something embarrassing too. Everybody has their guilty pleasures!” You defended yourself.

Connor smiled at you, but denied it. “Yeah well, I guess I’m not everybody because I do not. No Connor Murphy guilty pleasures here.” He scratched his head.

“You’re lying. You scratch your head when you lie. Don’t think I haven’t picked up on that habit, Connor.” You pointed out. In response, Connor told you to 'fuck off’ but you persisted.

“I’m serious, what is it?!” You demanded. “I won’t shut up about it until you tell me.”

“God, I know you won’t.” He paused. “If I tell you, you have to promise you won’t tell a SINGLE person. No joke, if you do I’ll kick your ass.”

“Nah, you love me too much. You would never.” You tease. “Plus, I think we’re close enough by now. I always tell you about mine, and we trust each other enough right?”

“Something like that.” He looked at you. “Whatever, just let me get something.” He stood up and dug around in his closet for awhile until he pulled out a plastic bag full of something you couldn’t quite see yet. Regretting his choice as soon as it was done, he dumped it upside down on his bed and revealed little knitted marijuana leaves. With faces.

…

“Connor.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Connor, these are so adorable! Who knew weed could be cute?!” You exclaimed, picking some up to examine them. “But I have to ask. What do you even do with these?” You questioned.

Connor’s eyes darted to the floor. “I sell them.”

You sent him a questionable look, which you knew he didn’t see but he continued anyways. “For whatever fucking reason people on Etsy eat them up. You can sell anything on there.”

“This is brilliant.”

Connor furrowed his eyebrows. “You don’t think this is weird?”

“No, I totally do. But it’s brilliant.

He rolled his eyes.

"Can I see your Etsy page?” You asked, hopeful.

“Why the fuck do you want to see my Etsy page?” He asked, confused.

“I don’t know, I just wanna see how many you’ve sold and stuff.”

Connor rolled his eyes again, but picked up his computer and logged on. As he opened Safari and logged into Etsy, you made quiet little cheers. Connor silently passed his computer to you so you could see his online shop. Browsing over his tiny creations, you began clicking on reviews.

“Wow, Connor! People really love these things.” You exclaim. “What do you even use the money for?”

Connor chuckled, and stared at you. “What do you think? I use it to pay for weed.”

“What?” You questioned. “Why can’t you just ask your parents for money?”

“You know how much I smoke a week? They would know. Plus, I don’t want to owe them anything. I don’t need anything from them but the bare minimum.” He told you. You mumbled something about it 'kinda making sense’ and continued to scroll through marijuana toy reviews. Reading an interesting bit, you started giggling to yourself.

“Con… You sold these at a craft fair?”

His face went red. Which was probably the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen, second only to knitted marijuana toys. He quickly snatched his laptop out of your hands and slammed it shut as you began laughing even harder.

“Somebody wrote a review and said they got some from you at a craft fair! Oh my god, this is the best thing I’ve ever heard.” You smiled ecstatically.

“No I didn’t. That lady was probably tripping on mushrooms and has no idea what’s she’s talking about.” He denied.

“Connor, don’t even try. I saw. This is AMAZING. I never would have thought you’d even be at a craft fair, let alone selling stuff!” You were practically yelling, you thought it was so amusing.

“Literally shut up, its not that fucking funny.”

“Yes it is! When’s the next craft fair? Will you take me?”

“I hate you so much.”

“Can I help you knit some more?”

“I’m never letting you in my house again.”

“I’ll give them the cutest facial expressions ever!”

“(Y/N), stop. I’m serious.”

“Make me. This is too good to-”

Before you could even process what was happening, his lips were on yours and his hand was cupping the side of your face. Just as quickly as it happened he pulled away, but he kept his face inches from yours. He smirked.

“Wow.” You blurted, your eyes darting back and forth between his own.

He laughed softly, and you were suddenly painfully aware of the fact that his hand was still resting on your cheek. You felt your face flush. Now too flustered to look Connor in the eye, you opted to look down instead. He moved his hand from your cheek to your chin and pulled it up, forcing you oh so gently to look at him which seemed to set your face ablaze.

“You told me to make you, it was the first thing that came to mind.” He explained.

You giggled softly, and then stared at him for a second. Without thinking, you took his face in both of your hands, leaned in and kissed him hard. He kissed back immediately, causing you to whimper softly into his mouth. He took this as an opportunity to slip his tongue in ever so slightly. You, without breaking contact, climbed on top of his lap and continued to kiss the boy. Gradually, one of your hands ended up tangled in his brown hair and he had one hand riding up your thigh. When you both were desperate for air, you pulled back.

You stared at each other. You, at Connor’s messed up hair and newly-planted pink lipstick marks; and Connor, at your swollen lips and red face. You smiled wide, and so did he.

“I should tell you to 'make me’ more often, huh?” You joked.

“Depends. Does this mean we’re dating?” Connor asked you.

You nodded and said, “If you want it to.”

“I do.” He answered.

“Okay, good. So do I.” You told him. “Suddenly I’m really grateful for the embarrassing craft fair secret.”

He shrugged off that comment and pulled you towards him and into his chest. You gladly leaned against him, taking in the smell of cologne and a slight hint of weed. It was nice. He kissed the top of your head and you smiled.

How cliche it was to fall for the boy next door. But you weren’t complaining.

-Mod Rae 

I don’t know how to end things

[taylorswiftacoustic]

So i’m going to do one of those obnoxious why i love Taylor so much posts, even though I hate putting myself on blast and feel cringey, but it’s almost 2am and she’s still meeting fans in Nashville (at like 5am) so it’s not like she’s going to see it ever.

Anyways I’ve been listening to Taylor’s music since Fearless.  I actually even made a facebook post about it back when I still made obnoxious facebook posts all the time back in 2008 when I first got a Facebook cause I was a freshman in high school.  Because Taylor is 4 years older than me she usually releases music that I need right when it’s relevant to my life.  I was 15 when Fifteen came out and there was a boy I had a crush on who’s name was Drew and honestly her entire work just fit so well into my life.  It was on my ipod and i listened to her song religiously and whenever I would go on walks with my dog she was one of the artists playing.  Fearless is an excellent song to walk out at night and look up at the stars to just in case you were wondering.

Speak Now came out my junior year of high school back when Taylor and the SF Giants coincided with making people in the Bay Area happy in October.  (But tbh i don’t really care about baseball and found the giants hype obnoxious), but the Taylor hype I was all for.  Speak Now was that album it had Dear John which honestly if I was going to pick a favorite it’s def in the top 10 cause as Alana Haim says “Just listened to taylor swifts song “dear john”… That bitch has huge balls.  FUCK YOU JOHN MAYER”.  The part where she says shining like fireworks over your sad empty town does something to my soul and honestly the music and the emotion and ughhhhhh she’s trying to kill me.  The songwriting on the whole album just kills me and the fact that she wrote the whole album by herself just proves that she can do literally anything.  It’s empowering to know how much work she put into that album.  Also junior year of high school was when my older sister left for college and I couldn’t drive myself to school cause I didn’t have my license (tbh i can never spell that word) and I walked home from school a lot and you can tell this was blasting.  Also junior year was when I kind of had a life crisis of what to do for college and life and I just threw myself into the drama department and was a part of 3 plays in one year partially so I would stay after school and my parents could pick me up at the end and partially cause i was so confused by school and my anxiety that being a part of a theater production made me feel like a part of something.  And I literally always and forever want to be a part of any group.

Now for everyone’s favorite album Red.  God people are really not kidding when they say this album is the best.  I mean every single track is that track.  It came out during my first year of college.  I went away to SoCal for college and nobody from my hometown went to my school and I had gone to school with the same people from k-12 and honestly I was so lonely.  My campus was a commuter campus and everyone went home on the weekends and I couldn’t fly home and I didn’t have a car so I joined a sorority cause they did things on weekends, I heart being part of a group and instant friends.  And man was that the best life decision ever.  I joined the most chill group of people and I got my Big in October and on the car ride from Big/Lil reveal over to our dinner my GBig played Everything Has Changed and the whole album and it was just so wonderful and amazing and fit so freaking perfectly with my life.  I had no romantic things happening like ever, but I did go through a major life change and it was just so good.  And then when I went home over thanksgiving and christmas break my best friend also loved the album so we just listened to Red on repeat until i knew every single word and we sat in the car and talked like we had just seen each other yesterday even though it was almost 3 months and it was like I had seen her yesterday.  She’s been my best friend since kindergarten and even if we don’t talk in like 6 months, I see her in person and it’s like she was just in my car the day before talking about whatever.  Anyways this whole album was the key to my first few years of college to get away from the loneliness and the aching of trying to figure out how to live with no parents and it being miserable and magical at the same time.

Then we get to 1989 and my 3rd year of college.  This is when I had finally moved in with my best friends instead of living with randoms and my whole life became so much better because they took care of me and I had a car so i had more freedom and they took me out and I was officially part of their little group and I felt like I actually knew what I was doing with my life for once (did not last long, but it was there for a bit).  And it was just the pop hits album that I needed.  The change from country to pop fit into my life so well and I was so much happier and the album was happy, but you could tell came from a place of knowing about that anxiety and fear, but kept pushing through.  Like all of Taylor’s albums it just fit into my life.  It was the soundtrack of drives to LA and to parties and pregaming and formals and hikes and walks around campus and to class.  It was joined with Haim’s album on a playlist on my phone called HaimSwift and it was played on my 8 hour drive from NorCal to SoCal at least 3 times that year when I drove to school, when I drove back for break and then back to school again.  There’s also a Noah + The Swift for Noah + the Whale and Taylor Swift.  They are both wonderful playlists of my favorite artists.  This is when I found out that Haim the band that I had discovered and fell in love with at Outside Lands the summer prior was going to be touring with Taylor, but unfortunately on in LA when I wasn’t going to be there and not in NorCal at an expensive stadium after I had spent all of my money on pasts and wine in Italy on my study abroad trip.

And then Taylor went on a break, well a longer than 2 year break and in that time I graduated and moved back home and my grandpa passed away and I found a job (not the one I wanted, but you know it paid and I got to stay at home with my parents and my family during a rough time).  And then I applied to the Disney College program and I got accepted in Anaheim and life was better because I got to move back to SoCal where I wanted to be and work at the literal dream location and have housing and see where life would take me.  And so I moved back to SoCal and I started this program and I fell more in love with Disneyland and the people I was in the program with (love being part of a group) and then stayed on after it ended and finally got an apartment and started being a “real adult”.  It was a strange time, but a fun time.  I got to explore the parks, I visited my friends in Chicago, I worked a lot and then from the silence Taylor Swift came back.  I was thrilled about the new album and the experience.  See I have been on tumblr with my blog @megansalphabet(actually the name was meganislameness but that is a little controversial so it got changed) since 2010 my junior year of high school and also when Speak Now came out.  But during the “drought” I actually started following a lot of Taylor Swift blogs cause I was missing her music and her presence and so once the news about rep dropped I was hooked.  From the early days of people fighting about if it was a dragon or a snake and then what kind of snake and through the whole build up and music videos and easter egg hunting and the experience of being in that group and having other people freak out about the same things that I was, was so thrilling and exciting.

And finally on a day when I worked until 2:45 in the morning the album came out.  And so even though I had already pre-ordered a CD, it was not at my apartment yet so I went to Target and bought my magazines and read the lyrics while listening to the album and spent the whole day listening to the album 3 times.  Then once the tour announcement came I decided no more waiting about ya girl is finally gonna see my idol and so I told my mom what i wanted for an early christmas present and I watched the music video and I bought some sweatpants and a sweatshirt and a bag and a keychain and I said this is the era that I’m going to see Taylor Swift live I don’t care who’s going with me, but I am going no matter what.  And I did.  I got a second job, I went to Seattle and I had been working at 2 jobs for almost 2 weeks on the most perfect May day I got off work and drove to Pasadena, picked up my friend and some tacos from the train station and parked at the Rosebowl parking.  We walked a trek to the stadium and got some drinks and found our seats.  We watched Charli XCX and watched the ASL translator translate Boys and we learned how to sign Boys and then we met up with my sister who was also at the concert and got some more drinks and some pretzels because I had a craving and my friend is the best.  And then we went back to our seats and had the most incredible concert experience ever as Taylor Swift serenaded us the whole evening.  Also Selena Gomez and Troye Sivan showed up?!?!??!!?!  Also she sang All To Well acoustic in front of us like we were so close to the B stage and Dancing With Our Hands Tied on the guitar and I just about died like 20 times even though I had already seen a instalive of a girl from the first night of the concert in Glendale and pretty much knew what was going to happen.  But it didn’t matter because this was the concert that i was at next to Taylor and my best friend and oh wow.

And now Lover is fast approaching and I no longer work 2 jobs or at Disneyland and I still don’t really know what I want to do with my life and I’m still probably working too much (say hello to the past 3 sundays that I was supposed to be off and then got a call at 6am asking if I could come in, yay overtime pay? boo 6 days).  But I’m getting closer to figuring out what I want and who knows maybe I’ll go back to school and become a teacher because that’s always kind of been a secret dream of mine, but they get paid so little and grad school is expensive.  But shaping young minds seems so fulfilling and worthwhile.  Join me in my next existential crisis for that debate.

Anyways the point of this is that Taylor has always been there for me through all of the questioning and the confusion and the late night walks with my dog at the creek looking up at the stars and the happy times and the sad times and honestly there is a song for every single mood that i’ve had.  And even though I’m 25 and have never had a romantic relationship (not sure I want one or if i’m just afraid of pursuing one) I’ve always had her songs to stay with me through it all.  And this post is a mess and now it’s 3am and thank goodness I don’t have work tomorrow, but that nap did mess up my sleep schedule and my computer is at 18% and it’s probably time for bed.  Also Taylor if you ever do read this sorry it’s a mess, but I really do appreciate all that you’ve done even if I never get to meet you and tell you that.

[purplesurveys]

439

What do you usually drink at meals? Just water. I can’t finish my meals drinking anything else. Does your washer make a lot of noise? I’m not sure for the most part because our washing machine is isolated on the rooftop so I never get to hear it, but I don’t think it’s noisy. How many hair straightners/curlers/dryers are in your house? Three in total, I think. My mom has a hair dryer and a straightener; I have my own hair dryer. Which side of your face do you like better? I like them the same amount? Do you think that was a weird question? I wasn’t weirded out too much by it; I know there are some people who really prefer a certain side of their face.

Did you pull any pranks on April Fool's day, or vice versa? No I hate pranks. Do you wave when you see people from your classes outside of school? Depends how close I got with them. Most of the time I would ignore them. Would you prefer a black or white cellphone, or a bright colored one? Definitely just a plain black or white one. I don’t really like my stuff colored unless it’s pink. When you believe in the Easter Bunny, what did you picture him/her like? The Easter Bunny was never as big a deal here as Santa Claus is, so I was never familiar with it up until I was a little older. I don’t really have a vivid image of the Easter Bunny other than it being a bunny carrying a basket of eggs. Does your mom, dad or silbings play any instruments? My dad plays some guitar. My sister had piano and guitar lessons but she never quite learned either haha. Are you allowed to eat meals in the living room? We’re allowed to eat anywhere in the house as long as we clean up the mess if we make one. How many people could fit comfortably to sleep in the room you're in? I’d say 5 if I put some mattresses on the floor. Around how much do you spend on Christmas presents? Too much. Idk, I like spoiling my friends. Your last ex: how did you two get together? We’re best friends. We just ended up liking each other and it solidified after a trip to a museum and a cute dinner date. Do you always have an ice cube in your drink? I prefer having them when I eat out, but it’s not like I religiously pay attention to ice cubes at home or anywhere else. Does the last person you spoke to have any siblings? Yes, my mom has two brothers. What's the best food for sleepovers? Pizza, wings, and chips. If you skip class, what one do you skip most? This sem, it’s econ. I used to have perfect attendance because the class has an incentive for not having absences (+5 on the finals) and I used to be obsessed with following it. By mid-April I started to get fucking sick of that class so I ended up having 3 cuts in one week LMAAAAAOOOOO. That class can go fuck itself. I hate it too much to care.   Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls? I have my Prep graduation portrait up on my wall, yeah. Does your mom dye her hair? She used to have brown highlights for her old job, but she hasn’t done it in like ten years. If yes, does she deny that she does? What do you do for fun when the power goes out? Honestly, there is nothing fun when we get a blackout. It gets really hot and everyone becomes cranky, rightfully. I end up fighting Meralco on Twitter and demanding when they’ll respond to the power outage lmao. Are 'personal response' essays painful to write for you? I don’t see why they should be. I appreciate essay reqs that just make you write about your own experiences and opinions; they make it so much lighter on the rest of the workload I have. Do you say 'skip', 'pip off', or something else? I have no idea what this is referring to. Are we just talking about skipping? If you had to, would you rather marry your English or math teacher? I’m taking neither. About how many books are in the room you're in? Probably around 20-30. The rest of the books I own are in my sister’s room; I just ran out of space in mine. What number do you ignore when it comes up on the display? ??? What is the best restaurant in the mall? What do you typically order there? We have several malls in the area but my favorite is either Yabu or Torch. I’ll normally have a katsu set from Yabu; I forgot what my usual in Torch is called but it’s a maki roll that’s deep fried, has mayonnaise, and I think it has salmon in it. Do you find history interesting? Ugh I love history more than anyone I know. I didn’t need to take a history elective but I’m taking one right now and will probably take up some more in the next semester. Think of a friend whose name starts with any letter between A and M. Got it. How would you react if this friend kissed you? Slap them, ask them what the hell they were thinking, and tell her boyfriend and my girlfriend. If you were to a throw a party, would you invite them? She’d be the first person invited. Do you text this person? Pretty often. Have you ever had a sleepover with them? Yes, a few times. Does your best friend ever wear fake nails? I don’t actually pay attention hahaha.  What's the last thing you searched on google? ‘Pip off’ from the last few questions above, because I had no idea what it meant. Still don’t. Have you read all the books on your bookshelf? I’ve read them all but I haven’t finished them all. Would you ever go on a date with the last person you spoke to through IM? God no. She’s too overbearing for me. Harry Potter or Twilight? Twilight. Would you be okay living on your own? I most definitely would be. How far can you run without breaking a sweat? I wouldn’t know what to tell you as I haven’t tried this in a while haha. After swimming, do you just strip or go into a change room? I...go into the changing room and take a shower? Would you rather date an older man/woman, or a younger one? I haven’t experienced dating either so I might have to take a pass. I still prefer seeing someone my age. Have you ever seen the last person you hugged naked? Yes. What about in their underwear? Yep. Where did you get your favorite shirt? We got it in one of the indie stalls at the mall. It was a buy 3 shirts for P200 promo so we got two for Gabie’s siblings and the other one for me. How much was it? ~P65 for one shirt if we’re considering the promo that came along with it. Do you/your parents have any creepy pictures or painting up on the wall? No. I think my siblings and I would let them know if it were too creepy. What's the best kind of video game? (Adventure, shooting, etc) Not sure if this is a legit genre but I can always ride with open-world games. How young is too young to date? Idk, 14? How old is too old to date? I don’t think there’s such a thing as being too old to date. Does your mom swear? Hahahaha yup. What was your biggest fear as a child? Cockroaches and bungee jumping. Your biggest dream? Work for WWE. Do you know anyone who has road rage? ME HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA. It’s safe road rage anyway. My friends all point out that I have really short patience when driving but still prefer to ride with me than with anyone else who also drives since for them, I’m the only one who hasn’t tried to kill them lmaooo. How would you react if your mom got a lip piercing? I’d probably say ‘cool’ and asked if it hurt.

What animal is really common to see in the woods where you live? Stray dogs :( Would you like to follow in one of your parents' footsteps? Not really. I was never interested in what their degree requires or their subsequent career choices. Where did you get your favorite pair of pajamas? I don’t have a favorite pair. Do you know anyone named Desmond? Do you like that name? I don’t think so. Not really a fan. What/who do you take the most pictures of? My dog and my girlfriend. What's your screensaver? I don’t have one on my laptop. Do you prefer your hair in a bun or ponytail? Bun! Have you ever kissed someone who had reallllllllllllly dry lips? Mmm no. What is the last thing you celebrated? My birthday, though it didn’t feel like celebrating it. What were you last Halloween? I wasn’t able to celebrate Halloween last year :( I think I just stayed in that day. Have you ever suspected that your last ex was cheating? Why? No. Has anyone ever told you they wanted to be with you forever? No. And are you still with them? I’m still with my girlfriend after three years, but we don’t really tell each other lines like that. Was this survey interesting? I’m sure I haven’t taken it yet so yes, it was pretty interesting for me.

[theleftoverurl]

Back in time to Mother’s Day, wow, that feels so long ago. What was it? 2 weeks? 1? Anyway, in the aftermath of REXTAB, I woke up at 10:30 as I had promised Kate the night previous, and dragged myself out of bed for an update, only to find Kate and Vron leaving for Jules’ soccer and Lindfield already.

I suppose I had already made it pretty clear that I didn’t want to go to Lindfield so early, but I had assumed that Kate would come with me (given that I often go out of my way to keep her company for trips because she doesn’t like being alone) but turns out she dislikes public transport so much, that she is willing to watch a 13-year-old’s soccer game in the dull drizzle outside and then spend a whole day in an Internet-less house. The bitterness is just me being ditched and a hint of jealousy that has continued in recent times at the realisation that with my absence in other social things and preoccupation at the hospital, Kate and Vron have probably become better friends than Kate and me. Also, Kate has been too caught up in stressing about all the things she has due to spend much time with me, so I feel like we haven’t had any nice interaction for a while. Lucky we pre-scheduled the massage for this Saturday, before things get distant and then she just leaves for New Zealand, but anyway, I digress.

They left, and I attempted to feed myself, but the kitchen was at a new level of filthy. I wasn’t about to clean it, because I was feeling generally spiteful and also because I had definitely been so absent during the week that I hadn’t had time to eat in that kitchen, so contributed about 0% of that mess. I cleared enough space to make 2minute Shin Ramyun noodles (the spicy Korean ones that are my favourite) and Marmite toast and then I rang mum (for a rant) to wish her Happy Mother’s Day. Nick was on the Leeuwin, a fancy boat that Christchurch takes him on to sail and learn physics and teamwork and things, so mum and dad had Mother’s Day all to themselves. Mum and I had a big talk about Veronica’s idiosyncrasies and how I could stop myself from getting so irritated because I don’t understand them, and Nick’s parent-teacher meeting, which obviously went well because he’s such a charmer, and then we got onto my ILP project, which mum is making a big deal about (turning it into a burden in my life I am not looking forward to). Things turned a bit sour, but I managed to squeeze in a discussion about potentially volunteering in a 3rd world country over the December holidays, to get in some work experience (in a country with less strict regulations, where I’ll be allowed to perform procedures and it will be useful) and then she remembered my lack of ability to drive and yelled at me about that so that we ended the call on a bad note. Very typical.

I was feeling very trashy by this point, and nobody was home to keep me company, so I had round 2 of 2minute noodles by eating the Mama tom yum ones I had stocked up and then I watched Grey’s Anatomy and ate Cadbury chocolate chip cookies and leftover Easter eggs and took a sneaky swig of Vron’s orange juice (out the bottle, ha) and had a packet of crisps. Just making myself as disgusting a human being as possible, really.

By now, it was late afternoon, and I didn’t want to turn up to Veronica’s house for dinner late, given I was already only turning up for dinner and not to spend time with her and Kate, so I did a quick hour’s work writing up List B for my Onc-Pall assignment which was due the next morning and then hopped onto the dreaded public transport for my trip to Lindfield. I did decide to wear my puffy grey Guess jacket which I got in New York, and it was extremely warm and so fluffy, really elevating the mood of my particularly average day (although I felt alright, I just knew it was from being a slob).

The train ride was uneventful, and I arrived around 6:15. Veronica was in the shower or doing her laundry or something, but I had a nice chat with Kate, Anna and Vron’s mum whilst her dad made beef Wellington – a specialty he creates every Mother’s Day. Both the dogs put their heads on my lap and fell asleep which was therapeutic and so, so cute. Everyone had a contentious discussion about Veronica wanting a dog – does she get a brand-new therapy dog, or does she take Charlie and Lola or just Lola, oh my goodness, so many decisions. I wasn’t really listening, to be honest, because the dog conversation has really tired me out recently – I’m a person who makes decisions and sticks to them, so if I want a dog, and I decide that it’s not too difficult to have one, I’ll just get one. I won’t suffer having multiple circular discussions about it and end up on no decision. So, I just cuddled the dogs and minded my own business, though I did throw in the suggestion of a rabbit or a guinea pig, that wasn’t taken too seriously (but I wasn’t being serious either, I ain’t cleaning no cages).

Dinner was huge, but really, really yummy and I felt bad for being the pig as usual and eating all the food (despite all the junk during the day) when everybody else picked at something or the other or left bits on their plate. I guess I never really was taught to leave anything on my plate and being in situations with people makes me nervous where I eat more, because I’m afraid people will think I’m not eating, which is stupid and irrelevant and not the stage of my life that I’m in anymore, but I think it’s a remnant of that. After beef Wellington were choco hot-o pies, which is basically a self-saucing chocolate pudding that we had at Veronica’s last time which is super rich and delicious (brilliant with vanilla ice cream to cut out the richness of consuming pure sugar and chocolate). I had mine early because I like it a bit gloopy, but everybody else heated theirs up further.

Afterwards, Kate and Vron were tired and anxious to go home, so we had a quick pat of the dogs and then headed. On the way to the house, they had a disaster, where the bonnet of Veronica’s car wasn’t secured properly, so it flipped up whilst they were in the middle of the road and they couldn’t see anything. I’m very proud of Veronica that she didn’t freak out and navigated everyone to safety, which just goes to show that honestly, she’s not as incapable as she believes she is (or her anxiety believes, I don’t really know how that all works). Anyway, Veronica’s mum dropped us home and I stayed up late finishing my assignment. I got it in at 11pm sharp, with minimal proofreading and giving myself huge leeway on the word count, but it was completed on time, and with minimal fuss. I watched a bit more Grey’s before bed which was nice.

So, that’s all I have for now, I am running super behind on updates, but this was the last long one I had planned, so it should jump back to the present very soon. I got out of hospital early today by literally running away because I was so tired and had a sleep at 4pm. I was too tired to go to the GHSC tonight, which is a big shame, and I was too tired to correctly estimate how much pasta I needed and ate 2 huge bowls so now I feel a bit sick. My diet has been crazy bad recently, but I’ll probably fix it up soon, idk. Tomorrow I must go to uni an hour earlier because my group project group prefer to wake up earlier than skip an SH lecture. Ridiculous. Anyway, that’s all for now, hopefully things are less weird in the house tomorrow as I’m cooking dinner – family dinner should fix things up. Okay, till next time 😊

[minditruitt]

Divided Distinctions

I can’t remember if I gave them my holiday or if they took it. 

I’m not sure if getting tired of hauling all the decorations up and down the stairs from the garage had something to do with it.

Maybe I don’t like gingerbread as much as the paid advertisements want me to.

Could be, as Charlie Brown lamented years ago in animated frustration, that it’s just too commercial.

I started working in retail when I was about 5. 

I played store and would try to sell my parents things that they had already bought. Barbie would go to the AF Commissary or the BX and wait for GI Joe to pick her up in his jeep. This was the military version of shopping.

I remember making my Barbie doll have to deal with bugs in her food once.

WHAT?

Yeah, because when we lived overseas at one time the shipments of food to the Air Base (ie: oatmeal, kids cereal and flour) had bo weevil bugs in them and dammit if we had to deal with it so did little miss prance-around. I remember laughing once that kids in the states were pulling toys out of their cereals and I was sifting through mine looking for black spots that crawled. 

But retail is where it begins and ends unless you live under a rock. Our economy drives our money flow and gives jobs to hundreds of thousands. The stores, the magazines with the lavish pictures of Christmas trees on their covers, the malls, the television, hulu, zeboo or boo-hoo (whatever the live stream you use)....Walter Cronkite would roll over in his grave....are full of how-to’s.....you can learn decorating tips, DIY ideas, see new recipes, table setting ideas with different colors, china, sterling, and all of this combined is supposed to ignite your brain to leap into your car and rush out into traffic. With eyes bulging you blaze a trail to the nearest Starbucks....ok maybe not that....but I’m speaking from experience here.....

Anyway....you’re supposed to be consumed with an internal fire to beat everyone you see out parking spaces, wrapping paper, boxed cards, bows that come out of the bag already mashed and the latest and greatest gadget. You have to be the first in line, the one in the tent outside REI, the one that is computer savvy, the one who is hip to all the latest cosmetic tricks and the one who is full of pep and endless energy....Grinning like a crazed, happy, over- caffeinated spectacle happy to be alive.

Now if that isn’t reason enough to curl up on your couch and dissolve into a Netflix marathon I don’t know what is. 

Maybe I just answered my own question. 

Two years ago was the first time I felt it and I’ll never forget it. I was working in a high end, large and politically correct department store at an upscale cosmetic counter and one morning before the store opened the music changed from the usual fare to a holiday version. Most of it I knew from hearing the selections all my life. They weren’t religious hymns but they were melodies of the Christmas variety. 

I stopped what I was doing and looked around. For the first time in my entire life I was embarrassed that the music playing related to me and those like me. The Christmas celebrators......

By this time Christmas trees were everywhere because Easter had just ended....ok, that was sarcastic...lol....

We had been conditioned that as employees in the retail sector we were to address customers with Happy Holidays....we were not to say Merry Christmas....at all. So out of fear of “offending anyone” I dropped that phrase from my vocabulary unless I was with other people outside of work who celebrated Christmas as I do.....I became unusually self conscious of anything Christmas related. I didn’t even go to church to be reminded of the real reason all of this was happening anyway. Sometimes customers would make a point of saying Merry Christmas to me as a show of ‘I’ll say it because I know you can’t’. 

Why couldn’t a conversation go like this between two people?

“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Jones.”

“Thank you and a Happy Hanukkah to you, Mr. Levin.”

What’s wrong with that? It is a greeting of distinction. It is a sign of respect for the other person.

I realize that can’t happen for many reasons....one being you may not know someone is Christian or Jewish or Muslim or anything else. Hell, they may even be Agnostic. Then you risk an even greater issue of ASSUMING that someone is celebrating something or that they are of one religion or another and that’s even worse. So the generic version of ‘Happy Holidays’ covers pretty much everything and is safer.

Now, I am not trying to disparage the celebrations of anyone else who has a different religion, tradition or belief. As a matter of fact I am dating a wonderful Jewish man whom I adore. I am included in all of his family’s celebratory dinners, holiday observances and I buy holiday cards for him and his family at Barnes & Noble. I try to choose elaborate ones with lots of gold or beautiful colors....the more dramatic the better because that’s my ridiculous personality. 

I have always enjoyed other cultures and I attribute that to my multi cultural military childhood.

But as I stood behind the Chanel counter that morning I felt something I had never felt before and it really bothered me. A friend told me that it was just burnout because the holidays are stressful with all the neurotic buying, long hours, cranky people and the fact that there was no way I could consume enough coffee to survive the onslaught unscathed without destroying my health.

Holiday buying has been something to be made fun of for many years....ever since I found myself standing in line at 4 am for the elusive White Power Ranger I have marveled at the stamina of people. For that ONE year I was one of them. I was in the club. I had joined the ranks of people determined that my kid would have the toy that was mandated that year to ensure a happy and successful childhood. 

Lord.....

I never did it again. 

Well adjusted? That’s another pot on the stove......

But here’s the difference. The frenzy was all consuming and even though I was a stay-at-home mom at the time I juggled a calendar full of school pageants, carpools, Christmas cookies, parties at our home and parties at other peoples homes.....I bought gifts for my family, our children, my husband, his family, neighbors and friends. I addressed cards, typed out on occasion those awful Christmas letters that now we don’t need unless you are not friends with that person on Facebook and know everything. 

I bought wine, groceries, elaborate decorations for the house and even more lavish gifts for the year end banquets and private dinners my husband and I gave at city clubs and hotels. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.....

And that is exactly the point. Exhaustion is a side car to the holiday cheer but that is a subject that has been written about ad nauseam and I refuse to regurgitate the same whiny dialogue. I’m talking about the bikers sharing the road with the cars, the airplanes sharing the air with the bird flocks and people sharing the holiday celebration season with other people. But our world is a world of only children. I can say that because I am one. I don’t mean that line as a negative hit despite that’s the way it sounds. What I am using that for is to point out that when we are used to our own way of doing something the introduction of something different makes us feel like we are being cheated out of what we are used to...the Christmas Carols flooding the sound systems, trees in every window, wrapping paper and cards on massive displays and jingling bells in the background of every tv commercial. And this way we can sit back at the end of the day and complain about it and how exhausting it is.....but if it wasn’t there it wouldn’t feel like Christmas which brings us full circle to the real reason of..... oh nevermind. 

We are now a society of many. 

Many people. 

Many holidays.

Many celebrations.

Many reasons to feel pushed aside by other people. But are we giving up our holiday because someone else doesn’t like Bing Crosby? 

No. 

Do we have to stop believing what we believe because another group of people believe something else?

No. 

This year for some reason I’m not as self conscious as I was that day a couple of years ago. The trees and music are festive and if I walked around feeling guilty because there’s a Santa in the middle of the mall then I’m doing it to myself. Aside from the fact that putting children on the lap of some random man in a red suit to take their picture screaming from fear has nothing to do with Christianity anyway. 

Your beliefs are your own. If you have the true spirit of your individual holiday in your heart that’s where it ultimately belongs and if you push your joy down in a fit of political correctness then you are giving up the holiday yourself. And that’s on you. 

I am not stupid enough to belief that life is that simple despite what people may think of me based on what I’ve written previously about life in general.....

All of us should enjoy these couple of celebratory months to become closer to each other not further apart. So enjoy what you can about this time of year. Many people are celebrating this year without people they love. My uncle included. There were horrible things that have happened this year and there will be countless people struggling with loss in the midst of a party atmosphere. Remember them, remember those who are lost, remember that having the latest gadget is not the reason for this time of year no matter which religion you subscribe to. 

Treat each other with respect. Don’t sit down on Thanksgiving and give thanks for all the things you have and what you’re grateful for, as the saying goes, and then go knock 140 people down to get the last known living gizmo of the year.

Take this opportunity to slow down in the midst of the frenzy and try to control the urge to spend money you don’t have to buy something you don’t want to impress people you don’t know......

[purplesurveys]

1067

JANUARY 2020

Where did you go on new year’s?: I believe we only stayed home and had a big dinner with family. We’re usually home during the New Year since our rooftop already offers a fantastic view of the fireworks around the city and in Manila, and also because my dad usually isn’t home on December 31st/January 1st.

Who kissed you on new year’s? I didn’t kiss anyone when 2020 hit. Gab and I always celebrated holidays and spent weekends separately...in retrospect, both already should’ve served as a bit of a red flag for me.

Did you have a New Year’s Resolution this year? I didn’t. I thought I had it together. Oh well.

Does it snow where you live? It never snows here.

Do you like hot chocolate? It’s comforting and I order it a lot, but as I’ve said before I don’t like hot drinks haha. No restaurant or coffee shop serves lukewarm chocolate, so I usually just get an order of hot chocolate and then wait for it to considerably cool down.

Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop? I’ve never been to New York and they don’t show that program here.

Is January anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) My dad’s birthday is on the 31st. I also always remember my aunt and uncle’s wedding anniversary on the 11th since theirs has so far been the only wedding of an immediate family member that I’ve attended, and so I remember the preparations and the actual event being really hectic but fun.

FEBRUARY 2020

Were you single? No. I was in a happy, committed relationship at the time.

Who was your Valentine? My girlfriend at the time was, but I remember we agreed to make Valentine’s a little lowkey last year because we were both low on savings at the time. Still, she got me a street food bouquet and I got her a pretty flower bouquet in return. I think we also had an Italian dinner somewhere between Valentine’s Day and our anniversary.

When you were little did you buy Valentine’s for the whole class? No. I don’t see the point.

Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not? I really don’t care about this in general. It’s not a thing we follow here.

What did you receive for Valentine’s day? Like I said, Gab went to my favorite street food stall and she manually made a bouquet herself, fancy paper and ribbons and all. The ~bouquet had chicken isaw, pork isaw, barbecue, Betamax, and Walkman in it, which are my favorites.

What did you give for Valentine’s Day? A big bouquet. She was shooting for a school requirement that day and was at her best friend’s house, so I spoke with that friend in secret so I can plan out a surprise visit and hand her the flowers.

Is February anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) I used to look forward to February because it was mine and my ex’s anniversary. I’m not threatened by the date this year and I will just make plans for myself. Or I can also ask Angela to hang out with me. Idk yet, but what matters to me right now is that I’m no longer sad about it.

MARCH 2020

Are you Irish? Not one drop of it in me.

Do you like corned beef and cabbage? I haven’t tried these together but I will sometimes eat my samgyupsal with cabbage, so I doubt this combo would be bad.

What did you do for St Patrick’s Day? We don’t celebrate that here.

Are you happy when winter is pretty much over? We also don’t have winter.

Is March anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) My late grandpa celebrated his birthday on the 11th. March will also forever be burned in my brain as the month that 2020 ended for me.

APRIL 2020

Do you like the rain? Love it. Rain makes me feel calm and peaceful.

Did you play an April fool’s joke on anyone this year? I don’t think so. I just enjoy watching prank videos on social media sometimes, but I don’t pull them myself nor is there anyone who pulls them on me.

Do you get tons of candy for Easter? That’s not really tradition here. Most families will just go to church on Easter Sunday, and only families with young kids will have Easter egg hunting games.

Do you celebrate 4/20? Nope. I celebrate the day afterwards, which is my birthday haha.

Do you love the month of April? I do get a childlike excitement for it every year because I always get excited for my birthday, no matter how small my plans may be for it in a given year. The only thing I hate about April is the weather, because this is when it starts to get unbearably hot in the country. Is April anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) My birthday, my parents’ anniversary, my brother’s birthday (at least I was excited for it until I stopped talking to him). April is also usually Wrestlemania month, and something I will always look forward to regardless of how detached I’ve gotten from pro wrestling.

MAY 2020

What is your favorite flower? Roses and peonies. Sunflowers make me feel hopeful, but I wouldn’t say they’re my favorite.

Finish the phrase “April showers…”: I don’t know.

Do you celebrate May 16th: National Piercing Day? That’s a day? I always remember May 16 as being Katreen’s birthday lol. Anyway, no I definitely do not celebrate it. I don’t even have piercings beyond my earlobes.

Is May anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) It’s my favorite cousin’s birthday. May also marks the end of the school calendar, so back in college I had always looked forward to the 3rd or 4th week of May. In 2020, Andi and I also wrapped up our thesis in May.

JUNE 2020

What year did/will you graduate from high school? I graduated in 2016. Happier, simpler times.

Did you do anything fun during this Month? I learned how to use iMovie so I can make a surprise birthday video for Gab, where I collated video greetings from her closest friends and also asked them to put photos they have with her in a Google Drive. That was exciting to learn and make, even though my efforts ultimately went to waste. We also got Cooper last June!!!!! when he was still a small small tiny bean of a pup, and I could still carry him with one hand.

Have a favorite baseball team? I don’t even know how baseball works.

Is June anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) Yeah used to be her birthday but I obvs can’t celebrate it with her anymore. Otherwise, pretty uneventful month overall.

JULY 2020

What did you do on the 4th of July? We don’t celebrate that here. This used to be the date of our Independence Day back when US still had a much tighter grip on us, but I believe a former President shifted it to a different date (the one we have now) to serve as a sign of our independence from that country.

Did you go to the fireworks? We don’t have fireworks on July 4th, nor do we have fireworks on our own Independence Day.

Did you blast the A/C all day? I wanted to but was not in the place to, given that I did not earn my own money yet to help with the bills.

Is July anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) Last year, my college graduation was held in July.

AUGUST 2020

Did you have a sunburn? No. No reason for me to get one considering I stayed at home from March to September, except for the time I went to the doctor in May.

Did you go to the pool a lot? I didn’t, but my parents did blow up the inflatable pool that we keep and placed it on the rooftop so that we can cool down. Summer this year was unforgivable.

Did you go out of town? I don’t believe we did in August.

Is August anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) My university-wide graduation. My school has quite a large population so we get two grads - a more intimate one with our own college where we can be called one by one to go up the stage; and a larger, more general, university-wide grad, where the university higher-ups and a chosen summa cum laude student make speeches and there are multiple music/dance performances.

SEPTEMBER 2020

Are you attending college/school? Not anymore.

Do you like fall better than summer? We don’t get fall.

What happened this month? Man you had 8 other months to ask this, why pick my worst month?? Lmao. September was the month of the quick deterioration of my relationship and its eventual breakup, my first job interview (that I got ghosted by), Nacho’s first death anniversary, opening my first bank account, and the start of my internship.

Is September anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): Angela’s birthday, my mom’s birthday, Nina’s birthday.

OCTOBER 2020

Whats your favorite candy? Fruitella. I got soooooo many Fruitella packs from my relatives this Christmas because that was what I put on my wishlist hahahahaha.

What was your favorite thing(s)about this month? October was terrible. The only thing that kept me alive was my internship and the people in it, our Halloween party, and Good Mythical Morning. But in general, September through the first half of December 2020 is a period I would like to bury permanently.

What are you planning to be for Halloween? I don’t have plans for Halloween 2021 yet.

Are you going to be trick or treating? Nope.

Is October anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): I don’t think so.

NOVEMBER 2020

Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving? Sigh. I don’t care for Thanksgiving.

What are you going thankful for this year?: Too early to tell, but on the second day of the new year, so far, I’m thankful for the positive people around me, the kindness and patience they extend to me, and myself for powering through and living to see 2021.

Do you love stuffing? No but I’d like to try it.

Anything exciting happen this month? Again, November was still shitty times for me.

Is November anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): I got employed and started my first real job.

DECEMBER 2020

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yeah, but it clashes with my non-belief so it’s something I’m still figuring out.

Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe? No.

Get anything special last year? I got one too many bottles of soju and packs of Fruitella, hahah. I also got the wooden portable table that I’ve been eyeing for a while.

What do you love most about December? THE HOLIDAY WORK BREAK ZZZZZzzzzzz I can’t believe it’ll be over soon :( I’m not yet ready to go back to work ugh.

Is December anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): Two of my aunts’ birthdays, my godson’s birthday, my grandma’s birthday, and get-togethers with different sides of my family.