#I had to ask my friend for the link so I could download it

[darkerthanblack-666]

Did you see Joel’s new story on tiktok ?😳🥵

Imagine Allu riding him…

More like pushing him down and doing something "fun" to him 👀

[jj-one]

A MODERN LOVE STORY.

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

when your tinder date who was supposed to be just a hook up becomes your boyfriend within a week.

pairing: han jisung x f!reader genre/tags: pwp, smut, fluff, jisung is such a gentleman, fingering, oral (m receiving), piv, unprotected sex (wrap before u tap), major size kink, slight daddy kink (not surprised), jisung has huge dick, jisung cums on readers face, i think that's it Imk if i missed any o_0 words: 4.5k

**old repost from my deleted blog

Dating apps were never really your thing, you’ve always been an “old fashioned” kind of girl. You’ve secretly dreamt of meeting your lover in a grocery store or bumping into them at a library where you instantly fall in love. Unfortunately, you can’t be delusional forever, your Prince Charming isn’t going to just come knocking for you at your doorstep. Unless…you find someone who can come to your doorstep but through an app, Tinder. You decided to give it a try and see what all the hype was about after your best friend Ryujin raved about all the hot guys she was meeting— and banging.

You often found yourself quite jealous of all the good sex she was getting, she could have anything she wanted all at her fingertips. You were always horny and looking for the next toy to play with but you decided maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to try and find a cute guy to hook up with and relieve some quick stress. You may be old fashioned but you weren’t too uptight to have a hook up once in a while.

You downloaded Tinder for once in your lifetime and wrote in all your info, chose your best photos, and made a silly little bio. Your bio was just ‘looking for a fun time, need someone who can break my back, not my heart’ you know it super lame but most guys like corny shit like that anyway. You swiped for ages and ages, barely giving anyone a right swipe because you were way too picky. They had to be top tier in the visual department even if they were just a one night stand, you’ll always have standards. You were getting tired of swiping and just about to call it a night up until you swiped on the next profile. His name was Han and he only lived 2.5 miles from you.

As you were scrolling through his profile, you couldn’t stop thinking how hot he was, his hair was blonde, and he always wore the same cross necklace in his all photos. You read his profile some more and saw that he has a dog named Bbama and you smiled at how adorable his dog was. You instantly swiped right after seeing the dog pics and you couldn’t believe you matched with him already. Your heart kind of skipped a beat for a second and you closed the app immediately. You didn’t think he’d be so quick to match with you and you wanted to message him but your pride got in the way. You figured he’s way too fine to even message you back, he probably gets floods of messages from girls asking. You decide to play it cool and not say anything, instead you took a screenshot of his profile and sent it to Ryujin.

She texts you back a couple minutes later and says she thinks he’s really hot, you’re glad she approves but you’re not surprised that she wouldn’t. You go through his profile again and see that he has his Instagram linked to his Tinder, you go to his Instagram account and continue your stalking spree. You see a bunch of pics of his dog, food, and mostly outdoorsy stuff. You didn’t figure him to be the wilderness type of guy but he was, he’s been hiking all over different mountains and has photos of him at the very top. You were in awe of how fearless this man was, you were swayed already by how he presented himself.

Your phone buzzes with a new notification.

‘Han sent you a message’ Tinder alerts you of 2 new notifications from him. You open the messages immediately, a huge grin plastered on your face as you read what he said to you.

‘Hi y/n’

‘What’s your favorite food?’

‘I’m taking notes on where I need to take you on our first date’

That was very smooth but also straightforward, you liked him already.

‘Pho, I could eat it everyday’

‘You’re already planning our date? lol’

You sent the messages and texted Ryujin straight away, telling her how much of a success this was already going. She tells you how much she was right all along and how you’ve been missing out this whole time, you just giggle at her shenanigans.

You get another notification from Tinder and it’s from your favorite new guy already.

‘Yes, how could I not? You’re a 10/10’

You smile to yourself when reading at that comment, you never really saw yourself as a perfect 10 but if someone this highly attractive sees you that way then you must be a smokeshow. Han sends you another message,

‘I can pick you up tmrw at 5? Dinner is on me babe so no need to bring a wallet ;)’

You bit your lip at that last sentence, who would’ve known someone this sexy could be your sugar daddy AND fuck buddy? Ok well maybe the sugar daddy part was just a joke. It definitely turned you on knowing that he’s willing to spend his money on you without you feeling guilt about it though.

‘See you at 5 <3’ you reply to him.

The very next day you’re in the car going to your date with Han. The moment you laid eyes on him there was a lustful nature that came out of you. You didn’t even think it could be possible but he looked even better in person, the pictures didn’t do him justice whatsoever. His jawline was insane, it was sharp and looked absolutely perfect from his side profile. His hair was a little messy but in a really cute way, he had a small silver stud in his ear and wore his cross necklace like the one in his photos. You couldn’t believe it was really him in your driveway, he had to be the most beautiful you’ve ever seen. He wore a plain black T-shirt with baggy jeans and converse, he looked effortlessly cool. He was driving with one hand on the wheel and the other was playing with his radio. He was trying to get the Aux cord to work properly but it just wasn’t cooperating with him, he decides to just leave it alone.

“So uh.. anyway is this your first Tinder date?” He asks trying to break the awkward silence.

“Yeah, actually it is,” you tell him “I’m not the hugest fan of dating apps but I decided why not give it a shot.” You say as your shrug your shoulders.

“Ah I see, well you met me so that’s a good sign so far right?” He asks with a goofy grin on his face, you couldn’t help but giggle at his quirkiness.

You talk for a bit more in the car and get to know each other, as you’re getting nearer to the destination he comes to a stop into a parking lot. He gets out of the car first and opens the door for you on your side.

“M’lady,” Han says in a funny voice, taking your hand in his as you get out the car. You’re loving his silly and fun energy so far, it’s definitely bringing your mood up as you had no expectations for how this would go.

The date ended up going extremely well, you both couldn’t stop laughing and cracking jokes together. Everything felt super lighthearted and easygoing with Han, you felt like you could say just about anything with him, feeling like you’ve known him for much longer than a couple of hours. He bought so much expensive meat for the both of you at the restaurant and the pho was fantastic. You’ve never been to this particular restaurant before as it was a bit too out of your price range, you were surprised when he told you he ate here frequently. You wanted to ask him what he does for a living but you don’t want to seem rude. You ate as much as you could and he definitely ate way more than you, lightly making fun at the way you eat. You do eat pretty slow so you aren’t shocked by the way he’s noticing that already.

You like the way Han eats because he stores food in his cheeks like a squirrel, usually that action would give you the ick but with him you find it quite endearing. Once you both finish eating at the restaurant he takes you to a pier where there’s pretty lights near the water. It was a nice day to go out on a walk so he grabbed your hand and led the way down the path. You guys talked so much for hours about any and everything, you talked for so long that you ended up watching the sunset together, then looked at the stars. When you looked down and noticed that you’ve been holding hands with him this whole time, but you didn’t want to point it out to Han incase he’d let go.

You’ve spent a total of only 5 hours with this man but you really do feel as though you’ve known him your whole life. He was so fun to talk to, handsome, and literally the sweetest person ever, it made you question how someone this perfect could even be single. You really couldn’t wait any longer for him to end up in your bed tonight and that’s exactly what you planned to happen. As the night progresses you ask him if he wants to come back to your place for the night. He looks surprised yet obliges and drives back to your apartment. It was pretty late at night and you only had your tiny lamp in the kitchen on, so you couldn’t see much of where you were going. You turn around to face Han who’s been staring you up and down this whole time.

You didn’t even have much time to take off your jacket before Han’s lips were all over yours. His hands roamed all over your body and yours were now tangled in his messy blonde hair. He startles you for a second when he picks you up and lifts you onto the marble kitchen countertop, not breaking the kiss once. He bites down on your lower lip slightly, making you gasp so he can easily slip his tongue in you. His movements were gentle and he kisses you so passionately, one of his hands comes up behind your neck and the other is stroking the apex of your thigh. As you both pull away from kissing, he stops to stare at you for the longest second.

“You are so beautiful y/n,” he says, stroking your hair and tucking some behind your ear, then he kisses your ear and licks it. He continues peppering a few more kisses downwards and to your neck, beginning to suck lightly, causing you to let out a quiet moan. He leaves a couple small hickies around your neck and kisses your lips once again. You tug at his T-shirt and motion for him to take it off, he does as he’s told and removes it from his body. You get a faint look at his chest since it’s a such little bit of light in the kitchen, from what you can see however, he looks perfect. When he comes closer, you can feel his rock solid abs, you know he works out but you weren’t expecting him to be this fit.

You go back to making out for awhile and his hands are now laid on your chest. He cups both of your boobs in his hands and kneads them through your thin shirt, he realizes this isn’t enough for him so he slides his hands underneath your shirt. He ran his fingers against your nipples and starts to pinch them lightly, making you moan directly into his mouth. He groans when you bring your hand lower to his pelvis, trying to locate his belt so you can tell him to take it off. You finally reach something you presume to be leather and you grab it, bringing his body closer to you in the process.

“You want me to take this off huh?” Han asks, pointing to his belt but all you see is his erect dick print through his jeans.

You nod your head profusely, “yes pleasee, right now!”

He grins at you while slowly taking off his belt, throwing it down on the floor and now he’s stroking his cock through his pants. You hear him groan a little bit as you can see him palming himself, wanting to take him in your mouth so bad.

“Let me give you head,” you say almost desperately, you didn’t mean for it to sound so needy but you really wanted— no needed his cock.

“Okay,” he says smiling back at you, “sounds great to me.”

You get up from the kitchen counter and now position yourself on the floor, on your knees. You never pictured yourself to be the one sucking a random guy off Tinder’s dick but hey, things just so happen to turn out that way. You unzip Han’s pants and gently pull them down, he was wearing pink supreme boxers and you expected nothing less from him. You pull down his boxers too and his erect cock springs up out of them like a slinky. Eyes growing wide in awe as you couldn’t wait for his giant, thick cock to go into your mouth. You start to stroke his length and realize that one hand won’t be enough to do the job, you have to use two to get a good firm grasp around it and even then it’s still a few inches off.

You contemplate how you’re even going to fit all of him into your mouth but you think of the consequences later. You continue pumping his cock with your hands and he moans lowly under his breath. You lick the tip of his cock and he winces a little, that must be his sensitive spot. You suck on the tip and guide your mouth to slowly take in more of his cock, keeping a suction-tight grip on him as you keep lowering your head. You get to a point where you start to physically choke and gag on his cock, your saliva was getting everywhere now, all over your chin, your chest, his cock, and some even spilled on the floor. You know you have to be a good girl and take all of him but you never had someone this big before.

“You have such a nice dick,” you blurt out while taking a break, wanting to please him more than anything.

“Thank you baby,” Han smiles down at you while you bring his cock back into your mouth, this time breathing through your nose you have a better chance at taking him all. You were successful and managed to get most of it inside your mouth, maybe just a couple centimeters off. You kept at it, sucking his cock like your life literally depended on it, shooting your head back and forth making you feel dizzy.

“Mmm yeah… that’s it baby… just like that-” Han moans out for you with his eyes closed shut and head thrown back, you’re making him feel so good right now.

“I think I’m gonna cum y/n…”

You continue what you’ve been doing for the past 15 minutes or so, sucking his cock at an even faster rate. You look up at him and give him a sultry look with your eyes, you need to feel his cum all over you.

“Please cum on my face daddy,” you tell him, you used to let your ex cum on your face all the time and you were craving for that kind of thing at the moment. You keep deepthroating him and making gagging noises in the process, wanting him to know just how hard you’re working for his cum. He lets out a long moan and keeps saying he’s about to cum, you tap his dick on your tongue so you can get a taste of his load shooting out and then… you suddenly go blind. Han’s load comes out so fast that it got everywhere, causing some of it to get into your eye. You couldn’t see for a bit and rubbed your eye, feeling a thick, sticky substance on your left cheek. Han’s cum was now painted all over your face, some even got on your shoulder and landed on the floor. You smiled at how much cum you caused to come out his dick, feeling awfully proud of yourself.

You get up from your knees and start kissing again, he brings you back to the counter you were originally sitting on and he toys with the waistband of your skirt. He pulls your skirt down and begins rubbing your pussy through your underwear, dragging his fingers along your slit and teasing you. You whimper as you buck your hips up, wanting to feel his fingers on your clit. He finally moves your panties to the side and starts rubbing his middle finger against your swollen clit.

“Damn, you’re wet as fuck…” he says, looking at your glistening, wet pussy. He circles your clit and spits on it, mixing your juices with his saliva. He then dips his finger inside your hole, you let out a moan as he starts pushing his finger in and out. The sound of his fingers going in your wet pussy sound so dirty yet so blissful. He kisses you as he keeps fingering you, spreading you open with another finger. You’re such a moaning mess and it’s all thanks to Han’s wonderful fingers. You were arching your back at the sensation you were feeling, his thumb is now rubbing your clit while two of his fingers are still inside. You wanted his cock so badly, but you were going to have to ask nicely for it.

“I need you…” you whine to Han, you don’t know why you were too shy to say what you needed the most though.

“Need what baby?” He asks with his fingers still deep inside your sopping cunt, you were aching for something bigger and it’s making you go crazy.

“Your cock… need your cock, please!” You practically beg at this point for it. Han’s smile grew wider as he saw how needy you were already acting for him.

“As you wish pretty girl,” he says, taking his fingers out and licking the juices off of them one by one. He takes his cock in his hand and rubs it along your folds, he feels how soaking wet you are and it’s already enough to make him want to burst. He doesn’t think he’s a fast cummer (is that a word?) but for you, he’d nut instantly. He slides his thick, long cock into your little pussy, making you audibly gasp in pain and pleasure.

The size of him is enough to make you want to never be able to walk again, but you think once he’s done with you he’ll be leaving you permanently bed ridden.

“Just relax baby, you can take it all trust me..” Han assures you as he continues to slide his length inside, your wetness mixed with the sounds of his dick makes for the perfect porn audio. Your legs were spreading wide open and rested on his shoulders, he was taking nice and slow strokes at first. He wants you to become more adjusted to his size, he’s finally able to get all of himself in. You look down at your stomach to see a giant bulge, his cock was so big that he practically took up half of your torso.

“Ready baby?” Han whispers in your ear, asking for the okay to start thrusting deeper into you. You nod as you were finally getting used to him, he goes a little faster and starts to build a steady pace. His cock is hitting the back of your walls nicely and you feel every inch of him inside you. The cross necklace he was still wearing dangled over you, which was pretty ironic for the sinful act you two were committing at the moment. Wrapping your arms around his neck as he moves deeper into you, stretching you out like the little whore you are. You feel yourself growing wetter with each thrust and he’s grabbing your waist tightly with both hands.

“Your pussy feels so fucking good… my god..” Han says moaning, his eyes are closed again as he keeps fucking your tight pussy. You took his cock so well, you were so proud of yourself.

“Your cock feels amazing daddy,” you whimper out to him as you continue moaning his name, feeling like you’re about to cum already. Han’s breath becomes more irregular and his strokes are getting messier, you can tell he’s reaching his climax as well.

“Let’s cum together.” Han coaxes, holding your hand while fucking into you, his cock fits all the way inside without hurting you now and all you feel is immense pleasure. You nod your head in agreement with him and focus on reaching your high. A wave of ecstasy washes over you as Han hits a certain spot in you, his dick is so big that it can reach little places you never felt before, it’s an incredible feeling. Your head swings back as you feel your orgasm approaching, you let out a few curse words and catch your breath. Han feels his release coming too and quickly pulls out, he pumps his cock for a little bit with his right hand and watches his load shoot out onto your stomach. He lets out an erotic groan as he finishes off his last bit of cum and strokes his cock a little more.

“Fuck that was the best sex I’ve ever had..” Han says while panting, grabbing your face to pull into you a breathless kiss.

“Yeah, that was definitely amazing,” you respond after pulling away, smiling at his first impressions of you.

It was now midnight and you were both exhausted, you two were too fucked out to do anything else and Han was way too tired to head home that night. You didn’t mind Han staying over at your place, to be honest, it felt pretty normal. As you both got into bed he gave you tons of forehead kisses and cradled you to sleep, his embrace felt safe and protecting. You never wanted to leave his presence and neither did he.

It was the early hours of the morning and the sun is beaming on your face through the sheer white curtains. You wake up to a familiar smell coming from your kitchen, it was the smell of eggs and pancakes cooking. You put on some clothes quickly to head to your kitchen, you see Han in nothing but his underwear cooking you breakfast. You looked at the clock and saw that it was only 7:04 am, how is he already awake at this time of the morning? You make your way on over to him and give him a chaste kiss, telling him good morning. He finishes up cooking and grabs some plates for the both of you. You couldn’t believe your eyes right now, your Tinder date that you just hooked up with last night is now cooking you breakfast. You want to feel like you’re living in a dream but the more you keep blinking the more real this situation feels.

“Ready to eat babe?” Han asks, handing you a plate full of food. You nod, still trying to process everything that’s going on but you don’t want to keep questioning it. You sit at the table with Han and eat your food. You both talk as though everything is normal, still making little jokes with each other like yesterday’s date. The food he made was pretty good and you were wondering what other hidden skills he may have been hiding. You’re now questioning what could be wrong with him since he’s so perfect, why hasn’t someone like him not been snatched up yet? As you finish eating you head back upstairs, Han follows you.

“What’re you doing?” You ask him, turning around to face him in confusion.

“Im just following where you’re going,” he admits sheepishly.

“But why?” You genuinely want to know why he’s considered still being here and isn’t fleeing after finally getting what he wanted.

“I want to stay here for a while,” he says while looking away at something else, he was a bit shy to ask if he could stay over for another day.

“For how long?” You ask, wondering if he’s serious about his infatuation with you.

“I- I don’t know, can I just stay for one more night? Please y/n?” He holds your hand, gently caressing and rubbing it.

You feel conflicted, on one hand you want someone you can feel connected to on a deeper level but the other hand is making you want to keep this relationship as no strings attached. You sigh as you see the glint in his eyes, his eyes were all it took for you to give into him.

“Okay” you say, he smiles as he hears your swift response. He presses a soft kiss against your lips and lets you lead the way back to your room.

Four days have passed and Han is still staying in your apartment with you. You decided you didn’t actually hate his company and that it was just the fear of commitment that made you reluctant. Han was different though, he brought a side out of you that no one else has. He brings you flowers, makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, listens to your problems/needs/wants/desires, shuts up when he’s supposed to, and does anything you say at the drop of a hat.

He’s the perfect guy for you and you met him on something you wouldn’t have tried if it wasn’t for your best friend. You’re still in shock by how you and Han are basically in a relationship now, I mean who stays at someone’s house for almost a week if they weren’t falling in love? You should be happy yet you’re nervous, you’re nervous about telling Ryujin, what if she thinks you’re moving too fast? You didn’t tell anyone about this “relationship” yet since you’ve never rushed into things this quickly with someone.

Han was a great person and you knew that with every fiber of your being, you just didn’t know if others would see that through just a few days of talking. You know you’re going to have to do it at some point since you’re actually thinking about getting serious with him. Han has been nothing more than amazing to you and if everyone else doesn’t see that then they’re crazy, you can’t convince everyone to like him but you start to feel as though it won’t be an issue for him. You think he’ll fit in just fine with everyone in due time ♡

[unholyverse]

MYSPACE 1.0 THEME REFRESH (originally by conkersradfurday, refreshed by unholyverse)

live previews: 1, 2 / download (pastebin)

hi! i've been using this old theme for years now because other myspace themes don't hit the same, but i've been tweaking a lot of it for personal use. i think it's been long enough since this theme has been abandoned that i can upload something that can handle itself better on modern tumblr.

main features

asks are formatted to look like myspace comments. fun!

four custom links

myspace buttons to follow, message, or block the blog owner

a bunch of info spaces so the world can know what you're about

extra font options

functional search bar (but this is tumblr so...semi functional?)

that web 2.0 ugly goodness

other features + info below the cut

new features

friend space - ever wanna show off your friends? now you can with the friend space to show off your top 8 9 friends on your blog. don't have enough friends? no worries, you can always toggle it off

image space - wanna put a bunch of blinkies somewhere? you'll need to have a bit of html and css knowledge for it, but you can go into the code and add as many images as you'd like. just look for the section and start pasting those images. it's a little tedious but tbh that's just the authentic myspace experience isn't it? but if that's not your thing, you can also toggle it off too.

tweaked/deleted features

had to delete the music player :( sorry but it used flash and i'm not really sure how to make a music player in javascript yet

added username input because it was annoying me that your title could be your name and it didn't make sense in most cases

deleted infinite scroll because the script was super outdated

added the ability to change the "online now!" gif. the original gif will always be in the defaults of the code.

changed the text post header font to verdana because it was impact and you could not fucking read that and it wasn't accurate to a myspace bulletin anyways

deleted the feature that force showed all the pages you made on your blog. so annoying. it will look a little weird if you have asks/submissions deactivated, but i doubt many of you using the theme will have them closed anyways

changed the dead links to redirect to the actual myspace site

extra recommended add-ons

scm music player: a customizable music player with tons of different skins and tons of songs you're able to add

unblue polls by @glenthemes: what it says basically; allows you to customize the colors of tumblr polls on your blog

cursors-4u.com: i love these dinky little cursors they're so fun. great if you really wanna lean into the 2000s aspect of the theme

cursor sparkles: what else is there to say about this they're just fun

notes

i plan on updating the theme semi-regularly if bugs are brought up and stuff (which you can tell me through my inbox)

hopefully i can work on extra tweaks as time goes on (such as figuring out how to add a footer image to videos, toggle tags, etc)

don't repost/claim as your own because it already isn't mine in the first place

like/reblog if you use!

update log

added a tags toggle + tweaked the video post sizes

made the "is in your extended network" status customizable to add different text. feel free to tell the world how many gas station boner pills you took

added an official theme link

[twopoppies]

Are the any new fics (within the last couple months) that are good? I’m in a reading drought and I feel like I’ve read every Larry fic there is :( I got so desperate I even thought about looking into f/m fics..

NOOOOO NOT THE HET FICS. DON’T DO IT. 😆

I think I’m just going to use your ask to post my year-end favorite fics. Hope you don’t mind.

It’s been a tough year for me, and I haven’t gotten to read a ton, but these are all excellent.

Secrets, Santa? By @indiaalphawhiskey (E, 19K) disaster gay Harry in all his bumbling, endearing glory still manages to make his incredibly hot boss (Louis) fall for him. This one has snappy dialogue, great internal monologue, and scorching smut. I’d expect nothing less from this author.

your lips in the low light by etherealbliss / @givesuethemoon (E, 21K) It’s been a long time since I read a Larry Uni AU, and this one checked all the boxes. This author managed to really capture the immaturity and obsessive emotions of university age lovers arguing and breaking up, and making each other jealous, and fucking and fighting some more, and ultimately making up. Harry is bratty and sensitive and Louis is dense and long-suffering and they’re perfect for each other.

Scorpions et Madragores by Stria / @nooradeservedbetter (E, 23K) Read the tags and author’s note on this one because there are some themes that could be triggering. This is a dark fic and Harry is a pretty creepy vampire, but the story is very well told and there’s a happy ending.

2 a.m. texts by everysingleday / @sun-lt (T, 30K) This was very sweet and very funny and had just enough sexiness (although I wouldn’t have minded more. LOL!) Link is to a download.

The Doppel Effect by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright (T, 6K) the concept for this fic was so original and a really compelling read, I can’t help but hope the author gets inspired to continue this ‘verse.

Danger I Can’t Hide by CelticSky (E, 227K) This one’s got all the tension and drama you’d expect of a World War II story—life and death high stakes, friends and lovers unexpectedly torn apart, battles and heroism, plus the added stakes of classism and homophobia—then add a slow burn, high risk, scorching love affair spanning years. If you want a story that’s complex and fantastically researched, plus lovers to root for, read it. It’s long. But I couldn’t put it down. When I finally did, I picked it right back up and read it twice more. It’s that good.

one conversation by fondleeds (NR, 1K) This really is just a couple of scenes, and the story is open-ended, but, if for no other reason, read it for the beautiful way the sentences flow. My notes on every fic of theirs begin with: “I wish I could write like this.”

Night Shift by banaanipoika (E, 9K) This was incredibly sexy and beautifully written. I loved that there was such a unique setting with so much descriptive language making me feel like I could smell and feel everything in that hospital room.

On The Pull by @homosociallyyours (E, 4K) Short, but really sexy and just the right amount of bittersweet and hopeful. Loved the characterizations and the smooth writing. So few people write canon Larry these days so this was a nice change of pace.

Devil in my brain, whispering my name by @lunarheslwt (E, 9K) i i thought this author struck a great balance between the dirtiness of a demon defiling an angel and the way the angel gave in to his desire to be defiled. Super sexy.

pull you closer (kiss me harder) by @sunshineandthemoonlight (E, 6K) This was absolutely beautiful — just the perfect amount of tension and wistfulness to make me tear up. But then it was sexy and full of hope at the end. I loved how Louis supported Harry and gave him exactly what he needed (and really, H gave Louis what he needed, too).

[nicksbestie]

hi! i’m not sure if you’re requests are open, but if they are could you write one where chris’s gf is a little and she’s scared to tell him? thank you so much 💜💜💜

We Should Talk - C. Sturniolo

Summary : Chris discovers something that you weren't ready to tell him yet, and a tough conversation ensues.

Warnings : 1634

Word Count : Crying, mentions of anxiety

Pairing : Chris Sturniolo/Reader (romantic)

A/N : This is an age regression fic, which is purely safe for work and innocent. Any hate/disrespect towards me, my work, or readers, will not be tolerated.

Chris had a lot of social media. Of course he did, his entire job was on the Internet.

He had to have a social media presence to continue to keep that career afloat, but there were some apps that he just didn’t see a purpose in keeping. Every now and again he would redownload some of them just to see what all was going on in their fanbase on those specific apps, but he never really stuck around for long. One of those apps was Twitter, and it was arguably one of the most toxic platforms he had ever seen. Their fanbase wasn’t terribly chaotic, but the app just had so much discourse going on in it at any given point in time that Chris had never felt like it was worth it.

 However, he was intrigued, so he had decided to download it and make a burner account so he could be private about his existence on the app, not wanting his notifications to be filled and his direct messages to be completely clogged. That did wonders for his ego every now and again, but he also never checked them and eventually it got overwhelming. But as he finished setting up the app, he saw something unrelated to his fanbase that he wasn’t expecting, at all.

When you finish setting up your account, the app asks you if you would like to sync your contacts. Chris had no issues doing this, as it would make it easier to view some of his friend’s profiles without having to search for them. To put it shortly, he wouldn’t have to go stalking. But one of the accounts that popped up after his contacts finished syncing caught his attention. It was an account covered in pastels, and the biography under it was very… interesting. 

“nxsl agere <3 big age __, little age __. obsessed with my daddy who doesn’t know he’s my daddy… yet? nsfw dni!!!”

The thing that really threw him for a loop was that when he looked to see which contact was linked to this account, he read the words “in your contacts as : my girl .” He was confused when he saw this, and curious as well, having not known about this account. He thought he had known about all of your social media, as he followed you on everything except Twitter, but he had still seen your personal Twitter account, but he had no idea you had another one. He wasn’t angry or anything, not being a controlling boyfriend, just more intrigued than anything else. He had never seen an account like this, so he began to scroll through it. 

He simply became more and more confused as he looked through the account. He saw a ton of posts about childlike things, coloring, shows, even pacifiers and bottles, and he found so many tweets in what seemed like baby talk, nearly all of them referencing your “daddy”. He really just didn’t understand what that meant until he scrolled through some replies on a post about an ask game, where your mutuals could ask you any questions, and one of them had asked you if you were single. You had of course replied with no, and the same person had asked if Chris was your carer. He didn’t really understand what that meant, but as he saw your reply, it seemed to fall into place.

“i think of him that way, but he doesn’t know. i hope he’ll be my daddy eventually!”

Daddy? The thought of it threw him for a loop. Chris was completely uncomfortable with any sort of daddy or parental kink, but there was something about this that really made him think it had nothing to do with sex. He hadn’t seen anything inappropriate at all, and he had been scrolling for a while now. So he wasn’t grossed out, because even in the biography of the account it says that it wasn’t sexual at all, but he didn’t know what to make of it. Finally, he turned to Google for help.

With the help of an Internet browser, he was able to decipher that the word “agere” was an abbreviation, for a thing called age regression. He continued to go down the rabbit hole of research and articles, and the more he read about it, the more the account made sense. He wasn’t confused or weirded out, if anything he felt sad that you hadn’t been able to come to him about this. He didn’t know how long you had been hiding this from him, and his heart hurt at the fact that you felt like he couldn’t know about it. He only felt worse for you when he saw some sad tweets, deciphering through the baby talk, seeing you upset that you were alone. 

When he found out that it was normally caused by a lot of trauma or mental health issues, he realized that it really did fit his girlfriend. You had been through a lot in a short amount of time, and he couldn’t blame you for feeling so desperate to find something that helps you. He was happy for you, more than anything, because clearly this was helping you for the majority of the time. You of course had your sad moments, but he felt like there were a lot of good moments to outweigh them. From your account presence, you seemed like you were genuinely a lot happier, filled with pure and childish joy. The more he understood, the more he wanted to be there for you, to fill that role that you clearly also wanted him to do.

 So, then came the problem of how is he going to bring this up to you? He didn’t know how he was going to move forward with this information without scaring you off or causing you to panic. You weren’t home right now, you had gone off to hang out with a friend after work, and he was expecting you back quite soon, so that only gave him a little bit of time for him to figure out how he was going to approach the situation. By the time he heard your car pull into the driveway, he was thinking that the best idea was probably to just sit down and talk to you about it, so that was exactly what he was planning on doing. 

He greeted you the same way he normally did, hugging you and telling you he missed you, and he waited until after you’d eaten and were curled up in bed together, enjoying the time you got to spend relaxing with each other to bring it up.

“Babe?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Can we talk about something? It’s not bad at all, though.” 

You were definitely on edge a little bit, despite his reassurances. 

“Sure, what’s up?” 

Chris didn’t move any part of him from the way he was, not wanting you to sense a change in body language and freak out.

“So I downloaded Twitter today and decided to set up an account, and you know how it asks you if you want to sync your contacts?” 

“Yeah.. what about it?” 

You were thinking that your personal account had been linked to your number, not your secret one, so you were on edge, but hadn’t figured out why he was bringing this up yet.

“Yeah. So, an account linked to your number came up, one that I didn’t know existed.” 

Your cheeks immediately flushed red and you broke eye contact, knowing exactly what he meant now. You could feel the tears coating your waterline, anxiety building in your chest, feeling like a bomb ready to explode. You waited for the ball to drop, for something terrible to come out of Chris’ mouth, but he simply just held you closer.

“I think we should talk about it, okay?” 

Nothing but a short “I’m sorry” slipped through your lips, and Chris looked confused at your response.

“For what, baby? You did nothing wrong, I’m not angry at you.”

The realization that he had probably, if not definitely, seen everything, caused a couple of the tears to fall from your eyes, as you desperately tried to stop them from becoming full on waterworks. Chris let out a soft hum, pulling you impossibly closer, wiping tears off of your face.

“It’s okay. I promise, it’s okay. You don’t have to talk much, I can. I did research on my own, I think I understand what’s going on, I just want you to tell me what you want from me, okay? I want to be here for you, I want to help wherever I can.”

The lack of judgment, the pure acceptance, the increasing love, made you unable to hold in any emotion any longer. You cried, and Chris simply held you, letting you cry all of your feelings out.

“You’re safe with me, okay? I’m not going to judge you. I know you’ve been alone in this for a while, and that can change if you want it to. Do you want that?” 

He didn’t get a verbal reply, but he could feel the nod against his chest. 

“Okay. Do you want me to be your daddy?” 

Another nod, and you pulled your face away from his shirt, feeling bad when you saw the giant wet patch, and he immediately reassured you.

“Don’t worry, babe, it’s just a shirt. I can change. It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

“Thank you.” 

His smile was bright, as to soothe your fear, but his eyes showed sympathy.

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m more than happy to be here for you. I love you, and you’re going to be okay.” 

As you whispered your own confession of love back to him, you knew it was true. 

taglist : @blahbel668 @mattsgirlfrieeend @69isabella69 @mayhem-72 @iculdstealurgf @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @sturnioloslife @heartsforkarina @nervousrebelglitter @sturniclo @elliegrace-7 @mattsturnioloisbae @strnilo

~ if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here!

~ my inbox is open, come chat!!

[xxlemon-chanxx]

Important. PLEASE READ!!

For those of you who may not know, which I suspect is probably most of you, I had an interaction with a pro/comship blog (@toh-proship-positivity) about three weeks ago that ended in them accusing a fellow artist, a-magpie-in-gravesfield, of extremely heinous things. I originally was not going to respond to them simply because I didn't want to be bothered with such drama during the holidays. Still, these claims irritated me because, even just from my conversations with this blog and witnessing their behavior firsthand, I knew their claims were likely untrue or, at the very least, exaggerations. I am happy to announce that my intuition was correct and that the claims made about Magpie WERE NOT TRUE.

Several people approached me regarding this, and I also sought a few individuals out myself to look for answers. They provided ample proof, including screenshots, receipts, and conversations between the accuser and the accused, that prove without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that Magpie is innocent of all claims levied against him.

I, along with the help of a few others, gathered as much information as I could find, organized it, and created a master list of evidence to combat every accusation. I am going to share the folder that holds the drama overview as well as every document that was used as an external link. Here are the links to the folder and overview, respectively.

This folder with all related documents will also be downloadable as a zip file on Dropbox to anyone who wishes to have a copy for themself. DM me asking for the download link, and I will provide it to you.

This is not meant to be an attack on the person who levied the claims against Magpie, and this is NOT a call to harassment. This needs to be put out into the open so that this drama inside the Wittebane community can cease.

Here is a direct message from Magpie regarding the situation:

"I just wanted to clarify that I had no hand in making the document itself. I was approached by multiple people asking for my side of the evidence / answering questions about the timeline of things / etc. I myself never look at Horse's posts because I don't want to give any of my time to things like this (and tbh I thought they would have stopped by now). Please don't message me about this. This has been going on for over a year now, and I don't want to focus on negativity. I have already provided a lot of information to the people who made this doc. I also DO NOT condone any kind of harassment towards anyone, including anyone mentioned in this document. I did not ask for this document to be made (actually, for a long time I actively discouraged people from doing it because I thought it wasn't necessary), but because multiple slanderous accusations that included my name were recently brought up to me by people I had never interacted with before as well as friends, and Horse does not seem to have stopped, I figured I would provide my side of things to people who asked as to give answers to anyone who might have heard of this situation. This document was in no way meant to encourage bullying of any kind. Please stay safe everyone!"

[pinkyjulien]

"Important update for flat chest mod users!"

Addressing Streetkid-named-desire and Wanderingaldecaldo unecessary update on the Flat Chest Detector and their claim of it being for the "community's sake"

The update for the Flat Chest Detector has now been reverted

Apologise in advance for the salt and for the upcoming modding lesson

TL:DR

Both the Wearable Flat Chest and Flat Chest Body mods were already compatible; this "important update" is nowhere near important for users who already used either or both mods together They will continue to be perfectly compatible and you do not need this now reverted "update"

Let's start from the begining;

For pride this month, I've released a binder-like mod, in the form of a wearable flat chest

I've published my Wearable Flat Chest on June 14th

On the same day, Streetkid-named-desire made multiple posts publicly trashing my mod and assuming all kind of stuff

You can see my response to these assumption here

One person that have been really supportive of their post is WanderingAldecaldo; its not really important to point it out but for those who know she's been passively harassing me for the past 4years, it's nothing surprising and explain a lot as to why this is happening at all.

Side note: WanderingAldecaldo has been blocked back in early 2021 I've been avoiding her and her content ever since; the only reason I know of this reply is because my friends warn me of everything that might create unecessary stress in the near or far future, like today

Anyway, these two were mad at my mod because they did not like it

Shortly after the release of my wearable chest mod, I contacted Berdagon, creator of the Bulge Detector script, and asked him if I could commission another script from him

Modding lesson time: To understand the nature of the problem, it's important to understand how dynamic mods works, I'll try to make it as simple as possible and link to the wiki when necessary The majority of body mods now have Body Tag As you can see on the Wiki, the Flat Chest Body have a body tag as well, meaning it's compatible with Dynamic Refit

But what are Dynamic Refits? In the past, modders had to publish their refits as replacers, meaning an additional mod that users who use custom body mods had to download along the main clothing mod Some body mods, like Adonis, VTK small and VTK big do not support dynamic refits yet, and still requires replacers

Now, the majority of mods come directly packed with refits, meaning whatever compatible custom body will get detected by AXL and the correct mesh, the correct refit, will automatically be used when equipping the garment For that, clothes modders can use multiple ways of including Dynamic Refit detection; I personally use Subtitutions to detect both the gender and body

Here's my latest garment mod structure; you can see my Dynamic Refits for both female and male frames, for both Gymfiend and Angel AND You can also see my dynamic refits for my wearable flat chest, the meshes that ends with "_flat"

Now, if dynamic refits are already a thing, why did I need to commission the Flat Chest Detector? Because as I said earlier, and in my initial mod release, my Flat Chest is not a body mod; it's a wearable garment, it's a "binder" and I wanted it to work like a proper binder. Body mods tags are directly included in AXL I needed a custom script to detect my custom modded garment as something that could influence other garments only when equipped

As you can see in my own mod, Dynamic Body Refits and the Flat Chest Detector already works fine together, as I've used it in my mod for my racerback top and my fishnet top, refited for the Angel body, so why did they need to edit it to "make it compatible" ?

Well that's the thing. They did not have to, as it's already compatible.

To be perfectly clear here, the flat chest body and the wearable flat chest are two really different mods; in how they're structured, in how they're made, how they work and in how they LOOK too. SKD made it really clear in their multiple vent posts how much different they are

SKD mention it again in their recent post; the two chest are different, they requires different refits to avoid clipping, which is Normal for different mods and has always been normal for body mods

You can't use EBB refits for EBBP, you can't use EBBP for Angel, you can't use Angel for Lush, etc etc etc. Even Adonis and Gymfiend, while being similar, require different refits.

I don't see any logical reasons why my flat chest has to be treated differently

If clothes modders want to fit both chest mods, they can do it already, by using the Flat Chest body visual tag, and using the wearable Flat chest script detector (I made a tutorial for it)

Here, let me show y'all how easy it is

Boom, now my mod is compatible with both the Flat Body mod and the wearable flat chest! Wow, can't believe how hard that was.

Does it look confusing? Sure, if you don't know what you're doing, which I'm assuming is why both Wash and SKD felt the need to go and ask for an edit of the script for no reason

Let me explain it so you two don't go up other people's business in the future

the {body} substition will detect the first "_flat" as being the flat body mod, automatically using the correct "flat" refit that fit Na's body

if equipping my wearable flat chest, the mod will automatically switch to the "_flat_flat" version, thanks to the flat chest detector script and to how I set up my garment entity's components

The name of the meshes doesn't matter for the Flat Chest Detector, I could've named it "_flat_butusethisonefortheequipableflatchest" and it would've worked all the same.

See how easy that is? Yeah. It was always this easy, always this approchable, always this simple.

Making it really clear: I did NOT give them permission to edit my racerback set mod

My clothing mods were made for the wearable flat chest only, I did not include refits for the flat chest body mod

They edited my mod without permission so that it could be detected and work with the flat chest body mod. They edited my mod and its structure to change it to use their new "BaseBodyFlat" tag, that did not need to exist, just so they could use my refits

Instead of asking to make their own refit for the body mod they want, if they really liked the clothes this much and wanted to use them? Like normal users? Like users have been doing for the past years?

I commissioned (= paid) the Flat Chest Detector script for my mod to work with dynamic refits. Body Mods already have access to dynamic refits and modder could already make refits for both flat chests if they wanted to, like I said multiple time in this post

This script edit did not need to be created.

I wish WanderingAldecaldo would leave me and my stuff alone. She had no business "looking into the script in the first place", for what reason? Like I said, everything was working fine before

Its fine not to know how new tools and system works, but ffs.

Don't go and edit people's work without their permissions and make a fuse about it online, proudly displaying it as some kind of service to the community, a service to modders and to users, because it's really not

I've already talked with Berdagon, he obviously had no idea about all the beef and all the drama that happened regarding the Flat Chest, and I'm not mad at him for updating the script; I'm sad that he has been used as a tool in this pathetic little "fandom war" disguised as a "service for the community"

From what Berdagon told me and what I've seen, Ratstick (= SKD) has been really persuasive in making it seems like this update would "beneficiate everyone, users and modders" when all it did was making both Berdagon and Psiberx work and edit their script for no reason, because again, it was already possible to fit both bodies in the same mods if you wanted to since everything involved support dynamic refits

It's up to clothes modders to decide which mod they want to support.

Don't edit their work without their permission, it should be a commonly known and respected fact, but it seems I was mistaking

Sorry for the long post, as you can imagine I'm properly pissed, but I hope this was easy to understand and maybe even educative on how clothes mods and scripts work

[ikeoji-subs]

Zettai BL Ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL Ni Naritakunai Otoko 2024 - Episode 6 Eng Sub

VS SHOOTING and VS FALLING IN LOVE

It's the season 3 finale!

For downloading instructions and where to find the raw files, please check our masterpost.

[Subs link]

We ask that you not upload our subs to streaming sites.

Sharing with friends is fine. We’re also OK with folks sharing them in other ways as long as they aren’t public. Please use discretion when talking about the fansub outside of tumblr, but don’t hesitate to get the word out in other ways, and feel free to promote it here. Please credit ikeoji-subs whenever possible—we put a lot of time and effort into this.

Feel free to use the fansub for fandom purposes. Gif-making, meta-writing, and other fandom-related creative endeavors made using our fansub are not only welcome but encouraged.

This is the final episode of this season! We're both going to miss working on this project. When it comes to plans for the future, we're still figuring that part out, but rest assured that we'll keep everyone posted here if we have another project in the works. For the moment, we once again want to thank everyone who has spread the word or had a kind word for us in the tags and elsewhere.

Big big thanks to our pal @my-rose-tinted-glasses for letting us make use of her talents and helping our posts and translation notes look special.

translation notes:

about “acknowledge the way I feel” (20:27)

The first, more literal translation of this line, which Hatano says on the bridge, was, “Can you accept my feelings?” That line definitely gets something across, but I knew we’d be leaving it open to varied interpretations–some of them inaccurate–if we didn’t make it more specific. I might go a little overboard in the specificity department sometimes. I think it’s probably due to a combination of my ADHD-related quirks and having spent too much time picking apart variables as a researcher. Whatever the reason, this time I was kind of in overdrive because this line seemed pretty important. 

I asked Snow some questions about what “accept” meant in this instance. In English–and in the American cultural context I’m used to–there are lots of specific ways to talk about a situation like this one. Someone in Hatano’s position in the US would have a plethora of options for inquiring about Mob’s thoughts and emotions and/or making requests about how he might respond to their feelings. Is Hatano asking Mob to simply believe that he has these feelings about him? To let him show these feelings toward him openly, even if he only allows this passively, without offering anything in return? To receive them in a way that implies he returns them or that otherwise implies some degree of connection between them? And so on. 

I was expecting cultural differences to come up around this line, but they came up in a way I wasn’t expecting. Snow responded by telling me that there wasn’t a really specific meaning behind the Japanese wording of this line and that that was characteristic of the Japanese language around such things. I knew that I was more intense than the average American about wanting to pinpoint the meanings of things, but it would seem that the average American is more intense about it than the average Japanese person. 

That was a really interesting insight (one that I’m still thinking about), but it still left me with a conundrum when it came to this line. I could stick with “accept,” since it had a kind of vagueness to it (which was part of the reason I started trying to reword the line in the first place). But I thought “accepting” feelings sounded closer than I’d like to possibly reciprocating them, and I knew from my conversation with Snow that that shouldn’t be implied here. 

I started looking at thesaurus entries and going down different synonym paths. I wanted a word that, in its broadest sense, would be asking very little of the other person. I figured if the Japanese wording was open to being interpreted as either asking for very little or asking for more, then the English wording should be something that could at least be taken as not asking for much, because the implication that Hatano wants more than that from Mob is already clearly present. 

When I came across “acknowledge,” it fit the bill. At first, I just thought of its meaning on a smaller scale. It’s not much to ask of someone to simply acknowledge something, in most contexts. 

But after just a little bit of thought, I realized it also had a useful kind of vagueness. Acknowledgement can be as small as a barely perceptible nod, but it’s also used to talk about thanking someone, giving credit, commending or honoring someone, even giving someone a reward. In a romantic context, depending on the specific story, you could imagine “acknowledge” meaning anything from “yeah, I see you over there” all the way to someone’s devotion being rewarded in all the ways they’ve hoped for. 

Some of these uses are more of a stretch and would only work in just the right context. The default meaning of the word is clearly on the more modest side. But that works well, too. I took this request as coming from a pretty humble, unassuming place and I figured “acknowledge” was reflective of that. 

I ended up being really happy with this word choice. Hopefully, it’ll get the right idea across to folks who watch the show with our subtitles, even if they don’t read this translation note. But I hope that reading this gets it across even more effectively.–Towel

Tag list: @absolutebl @bengiyo @c1nto @come-back-serotonin @lurkingshan @my-rose-tinted-glasses @porridgefeast @sorry-bonebag @twig-tea @wen-kexing-apologist

[push-tet]

VVBS FAMILY DECREPATION DROPED!

+ new familys

I also updated the family descriptions from the previous post here. Like last time, I have provided a link to the wiki for new sims to understand the reference

Albany wanted a big family, and he got it without paying attention to the growing strife from within. Meanwhile Goneril has been having a secret affair, in which she found a lifeline and a chance break free from her old beliefs in order to openly express her genuine thoughts and feelings. Will Mrs. Capp be able to go on with it or will she once again withdraw into her shell for the supposed family “stability”? And will Miranda, Hal, Desdemona and Ariel carry on the Capp pseudo-traditions, or smash the establishment to smithereens?

Antonio Monty’s emotional state and career are sinking to the bottom of a “grape juice” bottle. Will his children be able to help him recover from the loss or is he going to need the outside help? Where has Hero disappeared to? Was it an alien abduction, like how it happened to that lady in a red dress? Or does Regan Capp have something to do with it, since Hero wouldn’t stop going on about her until the day she vanished into thin air?

Regan and Cornwall had to move from the big city of Belladonna Cove back to the small Veronaville due to unsuccessful financial shenanigans. It appears that these two will have to move in with, in Cornwall’s own words, a no-good, insignificant, useless and lazy Regan’s younger brother until the duo gains the strength to start all over again.

Bianca Monty has always dreamt about children, and someone from above gave her a clear answer by leaving a young and eccentric Benvolio on her doorstep. Recently, however, the young mother has been feeling uneasy and is growing distant from her adoptive son. How does Benvolio feel about this and is he aware of the reasons behind his mother’s anxiety?

The Snout (my post) - Zhung (wiki link)

Madam Snout, a fashion photographer and designer, once belonged to an influential family of tea planters – the Zhungs. But one day Madam’s worldview took a 180 degree turn and she fled to Veronaville with her daughter in tow to start a new life away from her strict family. Things went on as usual until one day Madam’s mother, Madame Yingtai herself, appeared on her doorstep. What could be a reason for Yingtai to make a surprise visit to her “prodigal” daughter?

The Macbeth - Gloucester

“What did the wise and strict Ladya find in such a sad-sack as Erlolf?” - that is the question which has been puzzling the minds of the upper class even after Ladia’s passing. Can it be true that that stroke of lighting boosted Erlolf’s luck up to 10000%? Can luck be inherited? Ask the brothers, who need to split the inheritance and one of them needs to continue their mother’s legacy. But, all things considered, one of them wants to take MUCH MORE of what is due.

yeha sorry I haven't been particularly active here lately because I worked very hard (and studied at the same time) to FINALLY FINISHED MY PROJECT🎉🎉🎉

The process went faster thanks to my good friends

I hope this month I will be able to give a presave for download, BUT the hood is available so far only in RUS

so until the translation is ready, I will try to make more vv:bs content!

[surrinta]

LOADING: the pudding, the class and the big big brat ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘

content: be aware of reader having abnormal eating habits n over involved friends. as in concerningly abnormal n her mates have had enuff. you eat like this?? tell someone pls. what else? oh yeah, mentions of implied bulimia (reader is not bulimic) nnn (my memory omg) undisclosed relationship hehe. reader is sort of a brat, female n black coded ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

headers from @v6que <3

“mama you need t’finish this”

you glowered at him over the tops of your glasses as you played with the rim of the rice pudding pot he had picked out for you. ony merely stared back at you. you were all mean faced n pouty, arms crossed tight across your chest — he scoffed. you looked like a damn kitten glaring like that.

he checked his gold linked watch. he had about ten minutes till training and you hadn’t even cracked open the lid of the pot yet.

eren and ony had been watching your eating habits for a while, unbeknownst to you. you barely finished your meals when you three went out, merely sliding it over to them and claiming you were full. you skipped meals — ESPECIALLY breakfast and would only eat about one to two small things. if even. last time you brought in lunch ony had to ransack your bag and get a second eye witness, being eren because he could not in good conscious believe that you had only brought in three small tangerines for lunch.

to your credit you snacked like a motherfucker.

you claimed you didn’t have any disordered eating patterns but the last time they made you sit and eat breakfast recommended for a living breathing person and not your pitiful banana and three biscuits or whatever the hell else you cocked up — you got the worst stomach ache, could barely stand upright.

eren and ony took it upon themselves to meal plan and prep for you. no tv during meal times, no talking and you weren’t to leave spoonfuls behind. they gave you options and as much time as you pleased to pick.

you were good for the most part. but today you seemed to have hit a threshold. ony narrowed his eyes before releasing a breath. he’s never cared when you’ve hit your limit, however. he knew how much you could take. this atrocious display of pure cheek was not your limit.

“just, open it, baby. eat a few spoons for me”

you took in the arm he had on the back of the couch in the student lounge area. you felt bad. hated them fussing. but you ate! most times. well. if you ever whipped up the app you downloaded to see if you were getting your recommended daily intake of calories and showed it to them you’d be a finished person. so perhaps there was room for improvement, but you weren’t starving yourself. you held back an irritated breath. not on purpose. when he plopped the rice pudding pot in front of you, you had barely contained an eye roll and a mumbled, ‘not this again’.

you cracked open the tin foil. took up a white plastic spoon and downed three mouthfuls.

“done”

“you ate three damn spoons”

“you said eat a few spoons for me”

“i-“, ony felt his eye twitch. you raised your eyebrows as if to say you had won the little argument. you picked up your phone to mindlessly tap; pearl studded acrylics tapping against the screen before ony snatched it.

“nigga-“

“eat, im not fucking around. i asked your girls, told me all you had today was water and a damn nutrigain bar. that shit ain’t food”. he furrowed his brows as he planted your phone on the table. you sat back and folded your arms as you stared at the wooden surface. ony knew that you probably didn’t have an eating disorder. you liked food. you snacked religiously and when they followed you to the bathroom to press an ear to the door they didn’t get the feeling that you were throwing it all up either. granted eren nearly crashed to the ground when you had flung open the door. you had gazed up at them with a question before shaking it off, settling for their unreasonable abnormalities and undiagnosed clinginess. one less thing to worry about for them.

still didn’t explain your aversion to eating anything of substance.

“fine!” you huffed as you opened up the pot again, spooning some more of the creamy rice into your mouth. ony watched you patiently. he had noticed how tired you were getting. how irritable you could be at times, a brat as he would call you more often than not. he wanted you healthy and he knew you could do it. you just needed a push cause you were so damn stubborn.

he checked his watch again. training was in five. he got up just as he saw your girls come in to your table. he nodded at them, dapped a few as they sat down.

“i have training-“, he started at the group.

“coulda fooled me”, he shot you a look as if to say he was only an inch away from telling you he wasn’t talking to you. he slung his gym bag onto one shoulder.

“she needs to finish this”. your girls nodded eagerly adding comments of  their own about your terrible eating patterns as you glared.

“thanks, guys”. ony grabbed your jaw, smushed your blush painted cheeks.

“see you in a bit, ma”

you mumbled out a bye and not even a second later eren had come through the door, dapping up ony as he eyed your little table. you threw your head back so hard you were surprised you didn’t knock yourself out. eren was a lot gentler, a bit softer than onyankopon — who always seemed ready to eat the head off you. eren had potential to possess rage but in waves, nearly. just waves. 

till you pushed.

“not happy to see me?”

your friends were but you cut eyes at him before begrudgingly fixing a hug into his side when he pinched at your ribs as you jumped n squealed. he gave a pretty grin, canines peeking before he tucked you into the space between his ribs. your girls were always so awestruck by the pure affection that was always displayed with the three of you. natural n loving n casual. the sweetest.

he sat across from you, greeted your friends, opened up your pot of rice pudding, ate a spoon and then scooped up another to tell you to open your mouth. he usually communicated with you in japanese and as if on autopilot you opened to eat it. no, “what’s this about you not eating?”, he just started talkin. he alternated between telling you about his day n spoon feeding you, eating off of yours at random and before you knew it, it was finished.

“so”, eren fixed you with a dimpled grin, green eyes a glitter. “guess who has a food and nutrition module in about-“, he checked his watch. “ten minutes”.

you pulled a face. “let’s see, someone i don’t give two rats ab-“

“watch it”

you slumped your shoulders back, simultaneously swinging your legs to one side to let the girls out. they had some nursing lab of their own to get to. you were two parts surprised they were even attempting to go to class. usually they bunked off if eren or ony were chilling with you. you cocked an eyebrow at them as they gave giggled goodbyes. you supposed they had to get their life in order at some point. it was final year after all.

“you’re coming”

you shrugged. interestingly you loved topics about nutrition. “no sweat off my back”, you gave a little smile. “i love this subject”

eren eyed you as you picked up your kipling satchel, miffy plush swinging from the corduroy material. “good cause i told the professor i’m bringing in someone that would love to participate in this specific module”

your eye twitched. “you did what?”

[first-edition]

Fox and the Hound

Sum-Joffrey wants to send a message to your family after your brother embarrasses him, so he marries you off to his most unwanted man in his court, the hound. But will this marriage truly be a statement for an eyesore, or will it grow into something more. 

Cw for chapter- pregnancy, 18+ words and themes overall. Slight angst, brief mention of vomit and sea sickness, attempted r@pe, sexual assault, slight abuse, family death. Description of dying (start)

// A/N: just wanted to apologize for the broken links at the beginning of the book since i changed my username they haven’t been working but i assure you I’ll get to fixing them. I will also end up making a goggle docs with the entire book for downloading when this series ends//

previous chapter here.

CHAPTER 18

The first thing Sandor thought about in the day was you he day dreamt of your safety and the helpless thing inside you that took your body as refuge. He silently prayed that he wouldn’t have to be away from you for any longer. It was also the last thing he thought about before sleeping and dreaming of you. 

But he was more afraid of what his thoughts would be like after his body went quiet. 

Here he layed against the rock bloddied from the fight leg broken unable to move, not that he wanted too. Breanne of fucking Tarth, a women, took him down. He had put up a good and fair fight however but he could feel his life fading before his eyes. The image of you ghosting into his vision you calling his name sweetly as his hand caressed you soft cheek. You smile that warmed his soul. 

Oh he loved to see you smile. He loved to see you happy at his doing. It feels as though you have been together for years on end when it has only taken him 2 months to fall completely under your spell. He knows he won’t survive yet unable to move to end his own hes cursed to lay until he bleeds out or dies from starvation. But at least he will go out knowing he was loved and loved back. 

————

You stand against the side of the boat as you watch the rocky shore pass by slowly. 

“Your highness.” A man speaks to you. You turn around seeing the captain of the ship. 

“We are porting to widows watch in 20 minutes.” He says you nod. 

“I sugesset her highness is tended to by a meister while we take the day to careen. Her ladyship is carrying the further heir is she not?” He asks. 

“Thank you captain i shall take your kindness to the next meisters hut.” You say giving him a smile. He nods giving you a smile back before heading to his previous post. 

Over the course of 20 days or so on and off sea you and joss have become much more that a squire and royal you’ve become friends best friends. you will laugh and dance and tell stories, you’ve told him about your childhood and hes told you about his granted his wasn’t that long ago. 

You’ve celebrated each other birthdays and you now no longer allow him to talk to you anything but plain. 

“My lady.” Joss says walking up to you leaning against the side of the ship you smile at him nudging him with your arm. He chuckles. 

”youre looking more and more like a grown man with that stubble your growing.” You giggle at him. He nods feeling the stubble growing on his face. 

“Yeah. Ill have to find a barber when we dock.” He says. 

“I didn’t say i dosnt suit you.. however the prince Marco fraud over there hasn’t kept a meal down since we got on this boat. That says a lot. Im the pregnant one.” You say joss laughs as you both look over to Marco who wipes his forehead with a cloth. 

“D-do you still think of him?” Joss asks. 

“Of course I do. Everyday i pray for his safety and health just as i do yours. I want him to meet his child preferably in this life and not the next.” You say about Sandor. 

“Would you ever take another man?” Joss asks turning around facing backwards. 

“No..why?” You ask. 

“Even if he died?” He asks again. 

“I dont think, despite out beginning, i could ever take someone else i love him too much and i love what he gave me…why do you ask?” You wonder turning to him your eyes fix on his gaze as he looks across the boat deck to Lucy who hands the prince a glass of water. 

“There’s no point in wanting something if you don’t try for it.” You say to him. He looks back to you a blush forming on his cheeks as he realizes that you know who he was talking about. 

“I-I’ll grab you coat my lady.” He says before hurrying to your quarters below deck. Footsteps make your way to you once more you sigh as you see Marco coming to you. 

“It seems that the uh. The weather for this trip has treated us well?” He smiles. 

“We’ve stayed as close to shore as we can theres been no open water without seeing land through a scoop and were guarded by two man o’ war ships when my parents sent me off to kingslanding we went the long way comanded 4 storms three men died and our sips main mask was missing by the time i arrived and still. I had to endure of that wearing a corset and looking pretty. Meanwhile your vomiting up every fucking meal you consume on the charter of a little turbulence.” You say to him. 

“And yet you still have the energy to mock me.” He snaps back. 

“Yes. Consider it being hormonal.” You bite right back to him and turn to walk off. 

“Why do you fester against me!?” He asks leaving you to stop you back facing him. 

“We’ve been not but 2 feet from each other for 23 days and you prefer to fight on my name instead of getting to know it.” He says. You scoffs and turn back to face him. Joss comes back to you your cloak in hand.

“I dont need to know your name becuase i will not be taking it, as little as you may know, i belong to another. I wont belong to anyone else but him. As a care taken prince I wouldn’t expect you to understand after all your used to feeding off a silver platter and suckling from a gold breast.” You say as joss helps you put on the cover before you both walk to the end of the boat where you’re meant to get off to port for the day. 

————

The day is spent visiting a midwife not allowing a maester to touch you, having a meal with Lucy and joss at the inn you’re staying at and exploring a little before you became to tired and went back to the room. You were unfortunately told that the careening of the underbelly of the boat would take until the night so you should leave in the morning. 

Un happy about the news you reluctantly placed yourself in your room. 

You sit in the bras bath tub alone. You pick at your nails as you lean over the side your raised belly proving it to be a bit of a challenge. Your fingers move up to your hand glazing over the ring that is placed on your ringer. The jewels within it shine against the fireplace light. 

”im sorry i still haven’t made a name for you little one.” You say speaking to the babe within you. 

“But perhaps if your a boy then i will name you after you father? Hmm, and if your a girl I shall name you something beautiful like a flower or the stars. I was going to let your father name you but I'm afraid that wont be the case and id prefer you not go unnamed.” You sigh resting your head on your arm. you open your mouth to speak once again but you hear slight bickering out side your door before it opens. 

“You cannot enter my lord she is bathing!” Joss yells out at prince marco who stumbles into the room clearly drunk you cover your self sinking into the tub further. 

“Get out!” You yell at him. Joss grabs Marco to pull him away but he turns around and lands a hefty punch onto joss’s face causing him to fall to the ground before Marco kicks him. 

“YOU DARE PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME BOY!?” The prince yells before pushing joss out of the room and closing the door behind him bolting the door. Marco turns to you. 

“Get out. How dare you enter my room like this.” You bark out at him. 

“Get up.” He says you ignore his request sinking deeper into the tub. 

“You mock me, taunt me, refuse to conform to your duties as a princes!” He grumbles as he stomps twords you grabbing your hair pulling you. you welp in pain as he pulls you out of the tub. 

“AH! LET GO OW!” You scream out in pain as you drags you. You slip on the seat floor loosing your footing. He pushes you to the floor fighting above you. 

“No- NO STOP!” You scream tears welling up in your face as you fight under him. 

“You will know your fucking place!!” He grunts as he hits you across your face. 

“Ah!” You cry out in pain tear balling from your eyes and you continue to fight him stretching his face. He bails his hand into a first and punches you across your face twice. The taste of metal hits your tounge as your lip is split under the impact. You hear faint pounding behind the wooden door of the room as joss calls your name. The sound of a belt buckle clinking. You stop your fight as he holds you down. Before the imminent pain you could experience hes shoved off you two guards and joss pounce on him as he hollers out a multicellular of curse words before being dragged out of the room.

“Your highness?!.” You hear as Lucy and two others run to you wrapping a sheet around your naked body as they help you sit up. Lucy pulls you into her arms as you sob the pulsing pain in your face far from the pain in your heart. The fear flooded illness that could’ve resulted much worse.

”h-help me d-dress.” You say getting up weakly as she helps you. 

“Are you alright did he-“ 

“No. i want to leave now. Help me dress!” You speak. She and others nod. 

“Joss.” You say before he walks out after the guards. he looks to you holding his side from the rough kick Marco gave, his face bloddied. 

“Th-thank you. We will be t-taking a guarding ship the rest of way.” You say he nods to you before walking out closing the door after himself so your ladies can help you dress. You pull off the sheet holding your stomach before they slip on your undergarments and then and easy dress and shoes. They take the small bag you had packed for the night before you all hurry out. To the shipping dock. 

You board the guarding ship with the others, a few guards and joss, despite his condition help board over your items from the main ship before taking off back to the sea

Next chapter coming soon.

TAGLIST. If you’d like to be added to the tag list please leave a comment down below.

Taglist @stephyshadows@germansarechill@urfavbiscuit@daphneyblue@takemeaemond@holb32@allison-119@pxstelink@imsolonelyimissyou@myshitaccount@broadsdrinkwhisky@@evie-beanie@eulysa23-2@greeknymph18@rudiruds@ex160-blog1@im-an-assho1e@chompwoman@heartb8k2@lovely--lover ex160-blog1 @midnightprocrastinator

[peaky-shelby]

NEW ROMANTICS | MBAPPÉ [6]

» summary: in which an arrogant and talented football player (the best of his time as some say) and a focused and harsh critic of a journalist are gonna have to find a way to co-exist.

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» chapter 6: Poker

» writer's note: well talk about a stressful update. BUT HEY I DID IT. not gonna say a lot up here. See you on the other side. OH if you see Green link, click on them 🥲 my apologies for what you are about to go through.

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PLAY MUSIC

Taylor slipped away from him as soon as Marquinhos called his name. She took away with her the electricity, leaving him with just an unusual sense of emptiness. Marquinhos drew closer.

“What is the matter with you?” He yelled. Kylian was pacing back and forth on the hall, trying to control his emotions while his heart raced in the same rhythm as the havoc of his mind. Marquinhos had to slap his shoulder in order to get him focused because he looked like he had just downloaded 10 cups of caffeine all at ones “Kylian!”

“Je ne sais pas!” he snapped, smacking Marcos’ hands away from him in annoyance “Je ne sais pas! Mais cette femme me rend fou ! Elle ne fait que mentir, elle ment toujours, Marcos !”

“Tranquilles Kylian!” he ordered “I don’t know what your deal is with her but you have to get your shit together quick-“

“Why?” he shouted. “Who is she?” Marcos never answered him so Kylian made a step forward. “Did you know she played professionally? is that why she has you and Galtier wrapped around her finger-“

“Whatever is going on with you, you need to fix it before it’s too late! You hear me?”

“I wanna know the truth!”

“The truth is that she is a smart as hell woman that is trying to help all of us and I’m surprised she’s still here after all the shit you’ve put her through!” he poked him on the shoulder, pointing at him “Look at yourself!” he said the last sentence like he was disgusted “what happened to you? You came back from Qatar a different man- since when do you treat woman like that? Do you even recognize yourself in the mirror anymore because I don’t? What is it? Greed? Insecurities? Jealousy?” Kylian couldn’t look at him in the eye, his gaze kept moving around the room finally settling on a window where he could slightly see his own reflection on. “You’re turning into a madman!” He didn’t like what he saw in the mirror, he didn’t like this version of him at all. He was drunk on anger and desperation, he was high on self insecurity and he could see it in his eyes. “Swear to god, this is your last warning!” he said and left.

Kylian moved back a little, his hand was itching, his fist begging to come in contact with anything and it did. He punched the wall, drawing back quickly in pain. A few moments later Hakimi was by his side, holding him by the arm. He didn’t even know if he had been there the entire time but now he was pushing him back and dragging him from the nearest exit. He practically pushed him out in the balcony and Kylian felt the chilling cold on his skin, violently reminding him who and where he was. He gripped on the railing. And for a while neither of them said anything.

“I’m scared for you Ky!” said Hakimi. “I don’t understand what’s gotten into you. I’m trying but I can’t- it can’t be just her. What is it?”

“Can’t you see it?” he asked, yelling. He looked at his friend “I don’t know how she does it but she always does. It’s her eyes- she looks at you and you feel like the smallest person in the world. I look at her and all I see are my mistakes.” He pointed at his fingers while he spoke “The shot I didn’t take. The pass I didn’t give. The chance I didn’t see. Always down to the detail with her, isn’t it?” Hakimi’s eyes expressed a sort of pitifulness they give you when they know you are being unreasonable. He wanted to help his friend but even he was afraid to draw closer. Watching your friend falling apart right in front of you eyes, it was never easy. “And it’s driving me insane! The way she can play with my mind like that. The way she sees right through it and the closer I let her see, the more she is…” he tried to find the right word “poising me. Turning me into this-“ he stopped “That’s what’s worse! Cause Marcos is right! I don’t even recognize myself anymore!”

This was a cry for help. It’s amazing how much a person can get in your head when you let them. Hakimi went closer, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder while Kylian looked at the street. He knew that’s all his friend needed for now; silence.

“And then…” his voice trailed off

“Then what?”

Kylian closed his eyes. He imagined her against the wall, her figure in contrast to his. Her skin in contact to his, he made a fist with his hand trying to replicate what it felt like holding her but all he held was emptiness and cold air. Was it poison or just the stinking feeling of alcohol cleaning his wounds? He couldn’t understand.

He turned around to go back to the ‘party’. He wanted to erase every thought, feeling, doubt of the last 20 minutes. Hakimi stepped in front of him to stop him.

“Where are you going?”

“I just need a drink.” He said and moved around him.

PLAY MUSIC ♪

Colorful but dark lights filled the room, smell of smoke and alcohol. Kylian made his way to the bar, passing in between the dancing figures. The room was much more crowded now, everyone was either tipsy or already wasted. Footballers, models, journalists. A dangerous mix. All of them dancing together like they were choreographed.

And she was in the distance, next to her loyal friend Trish and Sergio Ramos. She saw him too their eyes meeting for a split second before she got closer to his teammate, on her tiptoes. He saw her whispering something in his ear, Ramos hand slipping on her lower back, bringing her closer to him just so he’d listen better. He wanted to interrupt, he wanted to get in between them. His eyes glaring at them while every fiber of his being called him to ran to them like she was the ball and she was about to be stolen. The music was like a void in his mind, the room felt like it was getting smaller, trapping him in his thoughts. He made a step forward, he was stopped just as quick. A hand reaching for his. He looked to his side. Hakimi.

“Don’t!” he warned.

A moment later she was exiting the venue with Ramos by her side, whispering something in her ear and Trish on Ramos’s other side. They were leaving together. Why did he care?

He went to the bar, asked for a shot of vodka before asking for the second, the third, before the room started spinning, before Verratti came up to him saying something about taylor and a journalist. He couldn’t follow. Before he danced on the dance floor with a woman he never met in his life. A woman he didn’t have to impress, a woman that was already in awe of him, a woman that reflected his greatness in her eyes and held him like he was gold. Touched him like he was priceless at the back of his car. Kissed him like he was a toy that she’d leave like he was just another number when she was done.

But he wasn’t satisfied by it, he thought he would be but he wasn’t. He was as lonely and as angry with himself as he was before, as he had been for almost a month. And as he laid on the backseats with the random woman on his side, Taylor’s lips still ghosted over his. The picture of seeing her and Ramos together still flickered in his mind. All the things he said to her, echoed in his head and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to throw up by the words he said to her or the alcohol. He thought of all that while He looked at himself on the review mirror, his eyes were so dark, so blank. So unfamiliar to him. What was he turning into?

TAYLOR’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

PLAY MUSIC

Taylor had been silent for the whole ride, while Trish and Sergio flirted like high school kids at the front. She’d always find herself stroking the places that he touched with his skin or his breath. Her wrist, the skin under her eyes. The back of her thumb passed over her lips, the lips that he never kissed but he still somehow managed to make wonder what he’d taste like. She didn’t recognize this feeling, she didn’t like it, it was dangerous.

Trish entered first and went straight to the toilet because as she said she was gonna pee her pants if she didn’t go in.

When she got in the house she sat on her bed and then quickly fell backwards on the sheets, closing her eyes. Then opening them again because every time she closed them all she could see were his black heavy eyes. Trish came out mumbling about something that Taylor couldn’t pay attention in. A few seconds later Trish was sitting on the edge of the bed, slapping her thigh to get her back on earth. Taylor sat up, looking at her friend for some compassion.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on?”

She was trying to form sentence but no one coherent thought would come out of her lips. Where would she even start? “I need a drink.”

“We were just at a party!” Trish reminded her, narrowing her eyes “with free drinks.”

“I need like 10 shots of tequila in a bottle of wine this big” she showed it with her hands and got up. Searching in the cupboards for some alcohol. Trish watched confused, wondering why they even left the party if she was just gonna get wasted here.

“Is this allowed in your condition?”

Taylor laughed, then gasped ones she found the bottle she was looking for. She didn’t have glasses so she used the coffee cups on the counter.

“My condition?” she repeated, still laughing. “You know what’s not allowed in my condition? Kylian, he is the absolute worst for my condition.” She opened the wine aggressively. Poured the wine on the cups and drank hers before she even got the other one to Trish. “How-“ she swallowed “how can he be such fucking asshole? And then just-“ she stopped herself, refilling her cup.

Trish raised her eyebrow, almost smiling at her friend “and then what?” she asked. Trish took pride in her talent of picking on energies and tensions. She knew the moment she laid her eyes on them. Taylor drank the second cup in one breath. Trish had to get up and take the bottle from her, then she helped her find her was back on the bed, making her sit on the edge. Taylor looked blankly at her desk.

“then his eyes.” She finally said, dropping her entire body back on the sheets again. “they’re so dark all the time.”

Trish laid next to her, balancing her elbow on the mattress and her head on her hand. “sexy isn’t, it?”

“Shut up.” She said quickly making her laugh. Trish dropped on her back as well, both of them staring at the ceiling.

“I saw the way he looked at you. Just before you threw yourself at Serg.”

Taylor peaked at her, opening her one eye and raising her eyebrow “Serg?”

“Shush! Not the point. Tell me what happened between you two.”

Taylor shook her head slightly, closed her eyes “I’m not sure.” She bit on her lips, the same haunted memory returning in her head. Was he going to kiss her if Marcos didn’t show up? Did she want him to? “But I have a feeling… it’s gonna get worse before it gets better.”

TAYLOR’S APARTMENT – DAY

Taylor woke up by the morning light. Not the alarm. Which was the first thing that made her feel like something was wrong. She lifted her head from the covers, looking around to realize where she was and what day, month, year it was. She reached for her phone.

“FUCK!” She dropped it as soon as she saw the time. Jumped of the bed and looked around the messy room for her clothes, anything that she could wear. She didn’t even check herself in the mirror. She just let her hair down, hoping it wasn’t that bad and put on her sneakers. Trish woke up by the banging and running around, murmuring.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m late.”

“You’re always late its fine.”

“he’s gonna kill me.”

She grabbed her keys and she left.

TRAINING CAMPUS – DAY

“nice of you to show up Seven!” said Marquinhos.

Kylian’s walk was slow, everything in his body hurt. His eyes, his legs, his stomach. Training was the last thing he needed. He ignored Marco’s comment and took of his jacket leaving it on the benches and walked over to the field. He had changed on the car after leaving the girl he spent the night with at her house. He thank god he had a left over uniform there. He started doing his stretching, raising his leg up to his stomach. Verratti walked up to him, doing his stretches next to him.

“You’re not the only one late.”

“What?” Kylian’s mind was too much of a mess to follow or listen.

“Wilock hasn’t showed up yet.”

Kylian’s eyes lifted in worry. His first instinct was look around for Ramos. He caught him on the other side of the field laughing about something with Messi. Wasn’t he the one that drove her home last night? He started running to him, making it look like he was just jogging for training. He stood in between Messi and him, listening to the conversation while he stretched his arms.

Sergio nodded as acknowledgment “you look like shit.” He laughed. Always a bully.

“had a rough night, Amigo?” Leo joked.

Since when were they Amigos? He was tired of pretending everything was fine after the world cup. Sometimes he straight up just wanted to his him in the face- wait, why was he admitting that. He looked up at Sergio, ignoring Messi completely.

“What about you, did you have fun last night?”

Ramos narrowed his eyes. He was confused. He let out a short laugh, shrugging his shoulders “Had some fun, yes.”

Kylian nodded. Suddenly he had no idea what to ask or perhaps how to ask it. Then the whistle was heard in the distance. Marquinhos gathered the entire team in the middle of the field for the beginning of the simulation. This time, team captains were Marquinhos and Leo. Thank God Kylian was on Marcos’s team with Hakimi and Sergio was with Leo. He took a deep breath and put every single one of his thoughts on pause. Although as fate would have it he fought a lot with Sergio to get the ball from him. He’d always end up somehow next to him, drippling and fouling him even.

“Chill down Man!” said Sergio while he got up after what would be the second time that Kylian knocked him down. Kylian mumbled a short apology while he distanced himself from him and continued to play. Taylor still hadn’t showed up.

GALTIER’S OFFICE – DAY

Galtier was reading her notes. He had his glasses on, silence filling the room while he read. She sat across from him. She kept glancing at him, expecting a reaction, anything that would give away if he agreed with her or not. She already felt bad about being late, she didn’t want to get another strike on the same day. Eventually he took of his glances, leaving them on the desk as well as her documents. Taylor gave him a smile when he looked up at her.

“Group therapy? Is this some sort of prank.”

She didn’t answer.

“You want me to put 20 adults in a room for group therapy?”

“Not all of them. Just 3 for starters.”

“Which would be?”

She hesitated “Number 10, 7 and 30.”

Galtier laughed “you want Lionel Messi and Kylian Mbappe to have a couples therapy?” She didn’t answer. Smiling weakly, so she wouldn’t offend him. Was it really funny when your entire team was falling apart because of lack of chemistry? “good god you’re serious.”

“Yes, I’m afraid I am”

“Number 7 and 10 are getting better along.”

“Do they? I mean it doesn’t seem like I wanna kill Kylian every second of everyday but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to-“ she murmured under her breath. Galtier only caught half of what she said. Narrowing his eyes. “Point is!” she said raising her voice “their chemistry on the field it’s still messy and when the big 3 can’t get along your team is bound to fall apart. It’s like you have cliques in your team. Hakimi, Verratti and Mbappé. Messi and Neymar. They need to break out of their comfort zone.”

“And that’s all in your reports as well?”

“Yes sir. You’ll have them tomorrow.”

“Finally.” He mumbled “ok fine, bring me the individual reports and we’ll discuss it again tomorrow. Meanwhile you need to give Julie your personal information for the trip in Doha and Riyadh and be here early tomorrow so we can announce your role to the boys.”

“Hm?” she raised her eyes. She had forgotten about that last part.

“You can start coaching them accordingly.” He explained.

“right. Yes. Of course.”

“Listen to me closely Ms. Wilock. The match against Al Nssr is especially important. You understand why.”

“You have three of the best players in the world and you are scared Ronaldo will kick your ass anyway.” She said before she hadn’t even thought that it might have been inappropriate. She still had her habit of saying exactly what was on her mind with no regret.

“That’s not exactly how I would have worded it Ms. Wilock.” He paused, eyeing her closely “but as long as you get the point.”

She smiled “I do sir.”

OUTSIDE TRAINING AREA / TRAINING CAMPUS – DAY

Taylor watched them playing, trying to avoid Kylian on purpose. She’d look at Sergio or Leo, anything to keep her attention away from the guy that had haunted her last night. She smiled as Marquinhos ran to her when he saw her, holding a football on his one hand.

“You wanna join for the second half?” he asked. She didn’t expect that question, she frowned. “We are almost done. I mean you don’t have to pressure yourself but-“ he took a quick look at the boys and then back at her “my team is losing.”

She laughed, letting down all her bags. “Are you that desperate?”

“Come on” he laughed along with her, smiling. “Fabian just walked out. I’m missing a player.”

“Why do I feel like you have something else planned?”

He shrugged “It’s just 20 minutes. What could happen in 20 minutes?”

She thought about it, crossing her arms. Maybe a quick game was all she needed. “Just because you are my favorite one.”

She took of her jacket, dropping it on a set of chairs and lifted her sweatpants up to her knee. She pulled her hair in quick bun while she walked with him back on the field. She took a quick glance at Kylian, catching the tension in his eyes expecting him to say something but he didn’t. He backed away and stood behind Hakimi instead.

“Hey that’s not fair!” Neymar stepped forward “what’s this?”

“It’s a substitution. Fabian is out, she’s taking his place-“

“Hold on you didn’t say we could have her!” said Ramos, stepping forward as well with a smile on his face “I’d have taken her on our team.”

“Wanna fight for me Ramos?” she asked, smirking.

“Damn right I do!” he answered quickly.

“Merde” Kylian murmured behind his teeth, rolling his eyes. Hakimi saw that and pushed him slightly to move away from the crowd. Taylor took a quick look to see which players were wearing the blue flannels that gave away they were on Marcos’ team. She noticed Kylian was wearing one too. Her eyes stayed on him for a while as he and Hakimi were discussing something. He saw her, nodding to her direction and that gave her somewhat of a relief because it wasn’t a rude nod. It was like he was telling her ‘Let’s just focus on the game’ and she liked that. She wanted that too. So, the game started.

She was there mostly as a midfielder, running and stealing the ball from whoever she could. That earned her a few strikes from the opposite team when she would try to tackle them. But the vibe was different from the first time she played with them. Like she was actually part of the team. Marcos’ team was losing 1-2. And her presence didn’t make a lot of difference at first. She and Kylian would look at each other from time to time but there was zero communication between them.

During the last 5 minutes the ball landed on Kylian’s feet and he ran with it from their end of the field to the others. He was swiftly tackled by Ektike in the middle of the field, who stretched his leg out and kicked the ball away from him. The ball was supposed to go to Messi but Taylor jumped in between stealing the pass for herself. Ramos, as a defender ran towards her but she kicked the ball to the left side of the field to escape all the defenders until she realized how close to the net she was.

She calculated the angle, her mind spinning in insane speed, while she counted the possibilities this could down. She counted the defenders in front of her. There was one possibility that she could take the shot and it would land on the net but it was a risk. She looked up, Kylian was on the middle. She kicked the ball up at Kylian and he dropped on the ground, sliding and kicking it for it to go the net just in between the goalkeeper’s legs. He got up instantly, screaming in happiness for his accomplishment while the rest of his teammates ran to him.

Taylor stood watching them while they all got on top of each other. Laughing and messing around with Kylian. She smiled. She didn’t feel alone, if anything she felt proud while she watched them, these were gonna be her boys no matter what and she came in the sudden realization that it wasn’t a matter of if she’d let go of her blog. There was no chance in the world she could do both things, there was no way she could stand hurting any of them again. She felt a sudden warmth under her eye. It was a tear, rolling down her cheek like a confession. She wiped it away quickly, only then realizing Kylian was coming forward. With an enigmatic expression on his face, she wasn’t sure what she wanted but the closer he’d get the more the memories started coming back. The more she wanted to step away, expecting a wall to be behind her and him trapping her again. Instead he lifted his hand, waited for her to shake it. She hesitated, glancing between his hand and his eyes before finally holding it. The skin to skin contact, lingering a little longer. Suddenly she was back at the roof holding his hand, or in the bathrooms the first day when he grabbed her arm, or last night when he held her wrist. But all these memories and all the bitterness seemed to be replaced by the sweetness and honesty of this moment. Looking in each other’s eye, shaking each other’s hands. Perhaps for a little too long while she tried to decipher the look in his eyes until Verratti came and called him to get back on the game.

Their hands slipping away from each other.

She was swept off her feet by behind by someone. She twisted her head to see who it was, her expression softening when she saw Neymar. He let her down and she turned around, hugging him from his neck. “I’m sorry for that.” She mumbled in his chest.

“Hate it when you play for the other team.” He said, pulling back a little and she looked in his eyes. That’s not what she was apologizing for.

“never again.” She smiled and they both ran back on the field for the last few minutes of the match.

LOCKER ROOMS HALLWAY – LATER

Taylor was so sweaty, all she wanted to do was go back home and have the warmest most chilling shower she could. And she was so tired, her headache getting worse by the minute.

She made a turn to the room with the spare clothes. Puffing and blowing out air from her chest, while she rubbed her temple, feeling the sweat coming from her hair on her hand. When she entered the room she stopped on her tracks. Kylian. Naked from the waist up.

“Sorry-“ she said quickly, closing her eyes and turning on her heel to leave.

“No, no. I’m done.” He said, putting on his shirt and walking to the exit. Taylor turned around again, not knowing that he’d be behind her now and knocking on him with a jolt. She stepped back quickly, her hands barely brushing on his chest. She moved away just as fast, looking at the closets for a spare shirt. He observed her while she tried to choose a shirt that probably fit her. He knew she wasn’t going to talk to him, so he contemplated leaving. He even turned around, ready to leave her alone but it was eating him alive. So, he maneuvered back to her.

“Thanks for earlier. That was a good pass.”

“hm” she said coldly. Picking out a shirt. He hated this coldness from her, he liked it more when she talked back at him or yelled. This was unfamiliar.

“I really didn’t think you’d do it.”

She looked at him when she headed for the exit. He stood on entrance so she was basically forced to acknowledge him. “That’s the difference between you and me, Kylian. You wouldn’t take the shot. I don’t let my personal issues get in the way of my game. Ever.”

He nodded, twisting his mouth and pursing his lips together. He looked at the floor. “Still part of you must have hit it because you hoped it would get on my face.” He tried to lighten the mood but all he got was a sigh and a roll of her eyes. She went around him to leave, he lifted his hand to hold her arm but he stopped midway, pulling his hand back before he touched her. “I’m sorry for last night.” That seemed to stop her. She stood in the empty hallways, examining him. There she was again, making him feel like the smallest person in the world. He couldn’t stand it and the urge to fight her again was coming back but he tried to ignore it by looking away- he failed. “Why you gotta keep doing that?” he snapped, finally asking her straightforward. But she wasn’t sure what she was doing. So, she knitted her eyebrows. And he motioned at her with his hand “Your eyes. You have this look like you are judging everything all the time. It’s frustrating.” She snorted, shaking her head. “Even now im trying to apologize and you’re always just-“

“Just what Kylian?” she asked, topping his voice and walking back to him “what do you expect? An apology is enough after all the shit you’ve put me through ever since I got here?” She stood under him. Her eyes bored into him. Reminding him his flaws, his shortcomings.

“Don’t do that…” he warned in a whisper, looking down at her. How was she the smaller of the two but he always felt falling short around her. He diverted his gaze at the walls, shielding his lips, biting them even. The familiar anger, only she could bring out, was rising. Burning his insides, he was trying so hard not to snap at her again, not to touch her. He had to lay against the doorframe, hold his hands in fists and keep them against the wall just to make sure he wouldn’t grab her again.

“Is that why you were so angry last night?” she asked, searching for his eyes “you couldn’t pretend anymore that I’m just a silly journalist.” She laughed bitterly “it dawned on you that maybe everything I’ve said to you until now, is true. You hate it, don’t you?” she asked the last question in a whisper, bitter voice “You could hide from it while you thought I was a high school player.” His eyes found hers and he saw that they were more brutal than ever. Like she actually hated him. Almost like she was trying to provoke him, see how far she could get him before he returned to his old ways. Like she wanted him to beg for mercy. She stepped closer, tilting her head upward “Can’t hide anymore”

“Defiantly not a high school player.” He agreed but even that came out in a disrespectful way “because you know exactly what you are doing in the field and out of it.” He leaned down, she stepped back and he stepped forward “you know exactly what you are doing to me.” She snorted again, awkwardly, twisting her head away from him. Making another step backwards, only so he’d make another forward “who’s hiding now?”

“Still as delusional as last night.”

“tell that to yourself a couple of times you might believe it” She reached the other side of the door. Her back bumping on it while Kylian kept his eyes as piercing as always. Suddenly he felt himself getting taller. She licked her back teeth her tongue, clenching her jaw. He raised his hands to remind her that he wasn’t touching her, that she could leave if she wanted to. “But I think I have some power over you as well after all.”

“Wouldn’t that make you feel better about yourself?”

“Nothing about you makes me feel better about myself” he spat, drawing closer “that’s the problem.” He confessed “if anything all I see when I look at you is everything I hate about myself—” he leaned down, his face hovering over hers “and I can’t understand if you’re doing it on purpose but it’s eating me alive.” his hands remained in distance but he still managed to shield her by holding on the walls “my failures, the pressure, the anticipation—” he lowered his head even more and for a moment he allows himself to believe that he can have her, he looked at her lips “I always seem to do the wrong thing, say the unforgivable because you push me to my limit without even trying.” Their thighs were touching now, he liked the contact “and I’m always torn between hating you for it and…” his voice trailed off. His last confession falling short. “Parfois, tout ce que je veux, c’est te serrer dans mes bras et te montrer à quel point je peux être bon. Parce qu’aucune femme, dans ma vie, ne m’a jamais fait ressentir ça.”

She had her eyes on him the entire time. The language barrier wasn’t as tall anymore. She had no idea what his words were but somehow, she understood exactly what she wanted to say and her mouth getting drier, the closer that he’d get to her. Realizing that he had shield her again, noticing the darkness in his eyes again. She shook her head, slowly, keeping her face down, to make sure he had no access to her lips. His breathing would fall on her ear now, warming it, because he was that close. “It’s not happening Kylian.”

“Why not?” he said in her ear.

Oh how weak his voice on her ear made her. How many shivers it sent on her entire body. Oh, how she hated it and loved it all the same. She tightened her entire expression, keep her head high but turned at the right side. That way he couldn’t really see her eyes. Not that he cared because all he was looking at was her neck.

And she wanted to tell him: cause I’m your coach, cause I’m JW and I really am the worst liar in the world. Because I would be risking everything just by looking at you the way that you are looking at me. But she didn’t and he leaned even closer, so much so that she could sense his lips moving against her ear. So much so that she had to remind herself repeatedly why this tension should remain unresolved. But a twisted part of her still wanted to touch him, kiss him.

“I couldn’t stand seeing you with Ramos last night” he admitted. “Same way I can’t stand when you analyze my playing, reminding me every time that I’m not good enough.” His lips brushed on her ear; her hair stuck on his lips. She straightened her head, their eyes meeting. Kylian leaned closer, waiting for permission. Their lips so close he could taste it.

“No because…” she whispered. He looked in her eyes. This was it. She’d either say it now or he’d find out with everyone else in the morning. She could be honest, first time that would happen between them, but she could do it. Kylian frowned waiting for her to continue.

Voices laughing coming from a distance in combination with fast steps let them know that the whole team was coming downstairs. They pulled away from each other automatically.

Taylor left before they could see her, sneaking into one of the bathroom stalls and locking the door. She lowered her entire body, holding on her face. “Fuck” she whispered. This was only the beginning of the day and she was scared to face the rest. She wasn’t one to let in her impulsive thinking, she always planned everything ahead. She learned the hard way that things don’t work out the way you want to and you must always have a back up plan but she was out of back up plans.

INSIDE GYM / TRAINING CAMPUS – AFTERNOON

Kylian hid on the gym. He wanted to distract himself, he wanted to stop thinking about her despite the spell that she had casted on him. Verratti came in, calling for him.

“Just hanged up with Ann. She says she’s looking into it.”

Kylian looked at Verratti while running on the treadmill, giving him the same confusing look, he gave him in the morning.

“Who’s Ann?”

“Man were you even listening to me last night?”

“I wasn’t listening to anything last night.”

“she’s a journalist. Says she can find dirt on Wilock.”

“Wait- what?” Kylian pressed the button to stop the thread mill getting down so he wouldn’t fall “you got a journalist into this?”

“Yeah man. She already got some nice information. You told me to go ahead with it, did you forget?”

Kylian closed his eyes trying to remember, he rubbed his forehead. He was surprised by his own Insolence. “She keeps saying she has a theory but she isn’t sure yet--”

“Let it go man!” he said calmly

“What?”

“Just let it go.” He repeated and reached down for his water bottle. “she’ll be gone in a week.”

“I mean it’s a already done now!”

Kylian eyed him. Shaking his head “why would you bring someone else into this? you might get us in trouble.” He asked.

“she’s a friend-”

“She’s a journalist. She’ll sacrifice your friendship for a headline in seconds.”

“She won’t do anything. She says she can dig shit up about JW as well. Kylian, you agreed to do this! What has gotten into you now?”

“I didn’t know what I was agreeing to last night, alright?” he huffed, breathing out curse words in anger “just don’t get me mixed up in this shit-” he grabbed his gym bag and his water bottle. Leaving.

The two kept looking at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Taylor was stealing glances at him while also trying to write her speech for the next day. Drawing over all the sentences she’d start because nothing was good enough. She didn’t even know where to start. The truth about JW or being their coach. Everything seemed wrong like she had betrayed them in the worst way and yet she didn’t want to apologize. Why would she apologize for doing her job as a journalist? She closed her eyes. Ones again lining over what she had written.

Kylian was taking a look whenever he could. The things Verratti had told him in combination of their little moment in the halls were brewing in his mind. He wanted to warn her for some reason, maybe because he knew that if anything bad happened, she was gonna blame it on him. Or maybe because he cared. He could feel her staring sometimes, her eyes practically scanning him but whenever he’d look at her, she’d look away in an instant. He’d notice her expression of lust for a couple short seconds.

Before she left, she came to speak to Marquinhos. At the point he and a few other members of the team were sitting in a circle on the field taking a break. Kimpembe, who was on her team during the game, started clapping.

“Wanna go another round?” he asked, laughing.

She dropped her head, shaking it “wouldn’t last playing another game with you.”

“Ky should be grateful; you saved that one.” Ektike said, being the one that almost ruined Kylian’s shot in the first place. Kylian was sitting with knees close to his chest and his arms laid on his knee bones, playing with a piece of grass in between his fingers. He tried to pretend like he focused with that, not answering to his comment. Taylor looked at him from the corner of her eye, smiling weekly at Ektike’s comment.

“He thanked me enough, don’t worry” she noted “in his way.” Kylian lifted his head to see her. He bit his lips so he wouldn’t smile. He didn’t expect it but she had a teasing grin on her face. “Marcos, can I speak with you for a second?”

“Sure!”

Marcos got up, dusting off the grass from his uniform as he stood. They walked away together, whispering in the distance about something. She looked worried and he looked like he was motivating her, rubbing her shoulder. Kylian stood up, copying Marcos’ movements and dusting away the grass. He started walking over to them, deciding that he wanted to tell Taylor the truth but they were done with their conversation before he could get to them. Taylor went towards the exit while Marquinhos was walking to Kylian’s direction.

“Where’d you think you’re going?”

“I need to speak to her.”

“No, you don’t. You need to finish your training; you have an hour left.”

“It will only take 5 seconds.”

“It never takes only 5 seconds with you. Back on the field now!”

Kylian couldn’t argue. He had already one strike too many with Marquinhos. He backed away, the frustration returning in his mind.

He was doing the exercise of Tiki-Taka with Hakimi, Ramos, Messi, Kimpembe and Neymar. Kylian was in the middle trying to get control of the ball while the others passed it around each other. He was getting tired and not enjoying it while the others seemed to take pleasure in his struggle. Especially Ramos, he was having a great laugh watching him suffer. He had been trying to for a while, his mind unable to focus when he almost had it but then he was pushed on the ground. Falling on his side. It was Ramos that pushed him. It was a gesture that otherwise he would have laughed away in good spirit. They always teased each other. But not today. He got up, getting in Ramos’ face-

“je vais te frapper au visage!” he said in a gruff voice. Ramos was still laughing, giving him a light push like he thought Kylian was messing around. The moment he touched his shoulder, Kylian slapped his hand off. That seemed to alarm Ramos, whose expression darkened and made a step closer to Kylian.

“What’s your deal man?”

“J'ai un problème avec ton visage!”

Ramos lowered his eyebrows “calm down kid—”

Hakimi launched himself forward and in between them to separate them. He pushed Kylian back while he pointed at Ramos like he was warning him “Call me kid one more time!” he yelled. Hakimi shushed him, pushing him on the other end of the field and holding both of his shoulders to keep him still. Marquinhos had seen what happened and was already at Ramos’ side, listening to their side of the story. Kylian knew he was done for, so he moved away and left practice.

When he went on the locker rooms, he found Verratti texting in his phone. Verratti’s eyes landed on him, a smirk on his lips.

“Did you know she played in Chelsea?”

Kylian didn’t sit around to hear more. He left, grabbing his bag and going to find her.

TAYLOR’S APARTMENT / BATHROOM – NIGHT

“Dad says she’s getting bigger.” Taylor yelled from inside the shower. The blue thin curtain separated her from Trish, who was doing her make up on the mirror above the sink.

“What did you expect? She’d stay 4, forever?”

“It’s still weird.” She mumbled “makes me feel older every year on her birthday.”

“That’s because you are actually getting older.” Said Trish while pouting her lips to put her lipstick on. Taylor pushed the curtain, opening it slightly for a second to throw water at her. Trish screamed and jumped, backing away “Goddamn you woman!” she yelled. “if you ruin my dress, I’m stealing yours.” She said and left the bathroom.

Trish started picking her last stuff to put on her bag. Taylor opened the curtain and covered herself with on of her white towels. And picked her hair up with another pink towel. She came out of the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe. She watched her friend getting ready, smiling.

“This reminds me of high school.”

Trish snorted, sitting on the bed and putting her shoes on. “some thing’s never change. No matter how hard I try to. You’re still letting me go to parties alone.”

“Ramos will be there. You’ll be fine.” She sang “You know I’d come if it wasn’t for work. Just be careful.”

“I will.” She sat up, making a spin around herself to show her friend her outfit. “How do I look?”

“Beautiful.”

Trish clapped and walked over to Taylor, placing her hand on her cheek. “You sure you’re gonna be, ok?”

“Gotta starts getting used to these lonely nights, no matter how much I miss you. Dad. Lily.” She smiled “I’ll be fine. But try not to have too much without me.”

“Can’t make any promises” Trish kissed her cheek and grabbed her jacket from the hanger behind the door. “don’t wait up for me. Love you.”

“Love you too” said taylor but she was already out of the door. A silent meow was heard coming from the floor. Taylor looked down only to find Luna pouring in front of her feet, head bumping her while pleading for food. “Gimmie a minute to change angel.” She said and walked back to the bathroom. She released her hair from the towel, her we strand falling on her shoulders, freezing her skin. She patted them with the towel, trying to dry them as much as she could before she used the drier.

Until there was a knock on the door.

She looked at the direction of the bedroom/living room.

She went to open the door. Her hand holding on the doorknob.

She turned it.

Opened it.

“Kylian?”

She didn’t have time to ask what he was doing here because he barged in. Talking about something she couldn’t understand. Like he was trying to warn her. She was trying to catch up with what he was saying but the shock of seeing him there in the first place in combination with the fact that she was naked under the towel made her freeze.

“…I just want you to know that if shit happens, I had nothing to do with it—”

“Kylian!” she tried but he kept going, mumbling something about Verratti and a journalist.

“He told half the team about it—” She looked around for her robe but she found it at her bed. And Kylian was standing in front of it, so that was not an option. He hadn’t even looked at her since he barged in. “She’s brutal taylor—”

“KYLLIAN!” She yelled, holding on the towel over her chest “What on earth are you talking about?” she questioned raising her voice. He finally turned his eyes on her, finally taking in her figure, finally realizing. His mouth fell shut, his mind going blank, he forgot why he was there in the first place. His eyes settled on her bare shoulders. They were slightly covered by her long hair. Not enough to keep him from wanting to touch them. She held on tighter on the towel, feeling his gaze deepening.

They locked eyes with each other, neither of them saying a thing.

PLAY MUSIC

He should have left, just as quick as he came in. he didn’t.

She should have told him to leave. Yelled at him even. She didn’t.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked.

That reminded him. He was here to tell her about Verratti. But that could wait until the morning.

There was a sort of silence that was loud enough for both, like it was saying everything for them while they looked at each other. Speechless. That was a first.

“Oh Kylian” she sighed, but it was more of a beg. She wasn’t sure what she was begging for but she was begging for something. She closed her eyes, leaning her back against the wall, like she was giving in to something. She couldn’t see him but she could feel him getting closer. His shadow covering her whole. She refused to look at him because she knew she’d be met with those dark eyes. His dark haunting beautiful lies that could see right through her. Just like earlier in the morning, every memory she had with him flashed before her eyes, including their moment in the hallways. They had left something unfinished. Twice now they had done that.

‘Dangerous territory’ is what Hakimi had called it. That was an understatement, thought Kylian.

She bit on her tongue, leaning her head on the wall, looking down her eyes still closed. Why was he coming closer? More importantly Why wasn’t she stopping him?

He lifted his hand, his fingers grazing over her bare skin, begging to touch her. But he was holding himself back, as much as he was struggling. He made a fist with his hand trying to keep his fingers away from her skin. He looked away, moving his fist slightly against the air.

“Verratti knows about Chelsea. He knows about the incident and you condition. Maybe more…” He whispered. It was all he could explain for now, in the few words that he was left with. Because his mind was a tangled mess. She opened her eyes, realizing how close he was now. She looked up at him.

“That’s why you’re here?” she asked.

“Yeah.” he spoke, twisting his tongue “that’s why I came.”

But the reason he wanted to stay was different. She nodded. He was supposed to leave now. Open the door and go back down to his car. Yet he couldn’t move, it was like she had him tied there and he couldn’t do anything without her permission. He stared in her eyes, tightening his jaw.

“tell me to leave.”

Now that was a beg if there ever was one. She saw it in his posture, in his eyes. Heard it in his tone, his breath, his heartbeat.

“Please god tell me to leave.”

She thought her mouth and throat had gone completely dry; her lips were stuck together. She couldn’t speak.

He stepped forward. Realizing his fingers again towards her shoulders. She watched them, it was easier than looking in his eyes. She didn’t stop him when they got closer, she didn’t stop him when they bruised her skin while pushing her hair away. She took a deep breath in, giving in the tension. Dangerous indeed.

She never said it, so he never left.

He leaned in, lower and lower until their lips were so close to each other there was only one way to go and that was closer. They don’t know who initiated it. They both like to believe it was the other person because that was, they could blame them for the chaos that it would create.

Did it really matter who started it when she was the one pulling him closer by holding his shirt on her fists. Or he was the one gripping her lower back like that. Pleading for access in her mouth. Did the day after matter when she tasted him whole or her hands reached under his shirt, lifting it off him and throwing it on the other end of the room? Did it matter when his hands pulled her up on his arms and allowed her to wrap her legs around his waist, only so he’d drop her on the bed and hover over her a minute later? Did it matter when they looked in each other’s eyes like they knew they were about to taste the drug that would destroy them?

No, it didn’t.

Or if it did. It didn’t.

Cause when he kissed her neck, she gave in. and when he uncovered her body by untangling her towel, he went weak. Was it hate? Is that why hit bit on her skin, just to hear her whimpers? Was it something else? That made her rushing hands reach for his zipper and open it while he left kisses in between her breasts.

She cupped his face, forcing him to look in her eyes again before she became his for the night. In any way a person can be given to another.

GALTIER’S OFFICE – NEXT DAY

When she woke up, he wasn’t there. He was kind enough to leave a note, saying he’ll see her on training. She didn’t think much about it, maybe it was better this way. She got ready, same way she did every day. Mostly pretending like nothing had happened at all.

She packed the reports she had on her bag and she headed for the campus. First stop it was Galtier’s office. She didn’t let herself freak out, she waited to see him first.

She gave Galtier the folder with all the reports. He looked at all of them quickly at first, one by one. Marquinhos stood by her while she watched Galtier, her mind constantly running back to the night before.

“that’s all very nice” said Galtier, Taylor smiled. It was all she could do for now. Everything seemed to be going fine for the time being.

“But there is one missing.”

Her eyes widened; she went pale. She hoped to God she wouldn’t hear his name or his number.

“What about number seven?"

READ CHAPTER 6.1 HERE

did it i leave out details from their night on purpose because we will see more on the next chapter? Yes i did. Did i also cut the scene so you won't know what happened to that goddamn report? Of course i did. Am i proud of myself for creating chaos. Yes i am 🤭 is Taylor about to create chaos in the next chapter too? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY. Y'all wanted to see her take the lead, step on her villain era and istg that woman is about to burn the entire campus down, and I'll write it while sipping tea ✨ now i want a favor, if you are gonna send as many messages as you did for me to post this chapter, please be decent enough to comment on it, lmk if you still like it because my self-consciousness is driving me INSANE. I love y'all to the moon and back! Dedicating this chapter to my war friend .

[blurredout10]

This Is Not A Date

Upgraded Connor (RK900) | Nines/ Reader fanfic

Rating: Mature

Wordcount: 5560

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Intimacy, emotionally curious nines, groping, smut, p in v sex, rough, kinda soft kinda not lil boi

Link to AO3 here or continue below cut:

You envied him, really.

Holding down a forefinger, the imprint fogging your phone screen, the victim of your poking quite literally quivered under your fingertips; a damn bloody dating app. Its cornered ‘x’ be the only good idea it gave you since its offered romantic prospects surely weren’t.  

It shakes a violent plead of mercy, like the castle clown prancing joyously, a jingle bell on its neck collar shaking its head desperate no’s where you snapped two fingers for its forthcoming executions. Disappointing. As per usual.  

But punishing the joker meant nothing if its replacement came from the same circus. You downloaded another app, pinky peach hearts pictured on a mobile symbol, your expectations had sunk passed the depths of hell.  

You were no less given the attention, a text ping except for a joker's bell. Despite Detroit’s ever-growing gene pool with the doubling population of both humans and androids, your huddle of situationships barely satisfied you, lacking a spark you so craved. Matches appeased your eyes, descriptions void of icky pick-up lines, but with every other text you were sent, something scrunched up your face worse than the last.   

“Why are people so boring?” you vented to the brioche-scented air, very much aware that fine-tuned android ears had spaced out. You’d grown to suffer alone.  

He didn’t have to worry about bearing the weight of carried conversations, he was perfect. Bloody hell looked it too.  

Nines envied you equally, but for the opposite reasons.  

There hadn’t been a day's rest of his HUD, notifications running haywire like sugar-induced children running laps in a playground. But even little humans collapsed in exhaustion — you did a lot of that — and energy was spent, Nines’ string of leeching matches never tired. 

“How tall are you?”  

“Glad we matched! My place or yours?”  

“How big did they make you?”  

“Boring indeed,” silencing the utter mess of thirsty texts, he turned his attention back onto you, a croissant half-stuffed in a stun where you hadn’t expected an answer. Flakes stuck to your lip as you chewed, fluttering eyelashes moaning for you at the fill of French delectables. Your reactions amused him. People were boring, indeed.

You, however, were quite interesting.   

Many months of a developed friendship had the both of you puzzlingly closer. Intending to better work efficiency, Nines fed into your friendly advances, but he hadn’t expected to actually enjoy your company. You two had clicked like polar forces, self-fashioned laws of physics in your own little world together.   

Nines, surprisingly, was a pretty handsome wall to talk to. You enjoyed every little teenage-like whisper of gossip you shared, to which the android’s sharp ears picked up on the latest in the DPD. You’d grown accustomed to his partially stiff persona as he did to your free-spirited one. The moon to your sun, and he surely brightened in your gifted happiness. Kindred souls hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder, you were there for him, and he was there for you.  

Nines scoffed at deleting another chat thread with a persistent match mate.  

It started as a joke. ‘I can get more bitches than you,’ though you knew you were speaking out of your ass. You did not, dare you say could not get more bitches than a man who mastered being a man, despite being made plastic and steel.   

Eyes blue like arctic winds, soft but intimidatingly focused in burning through flesh, his face sculpted unfairly to turn heads his way. Broad shoulders and a narrow waist that looked good in anything, even you could admit that. You were no stranger to getting asked about his romantic status.   

The sheer size of him shifted uncomfortably in the little bakery’s equally little seats, shoulders swallowing the back of his chair as if his steel spine served a replacement. Discomfort, albeit making him stir again to lean forward with a frustrating twitch of brows, was still foreign to him; a bitterness that squirmed deep in his chassis. It had taken a while to identify and label the feeling.   

Experience was the tutor in the study of emotional understanding. Experience was his guide to an emotionally coloured world and discomfort was by far the dullest, sluggish and unattractive hue he’d come across.  

Nines heard an audible moan deep from your chest, satisfaction making you lick buttered fingers clean. Your palate cleansed except for pastry bits on your plate, following a trail to your lap, above your chest and still on your bottom lip. You, however, were that bit of colour that sagged his shoulders, the bit of colour that made him agree to silently accompany your weekly brunch ravishment.   

His chest shook in a chuckle at seeing you no less a mammal in its habitat, wild and careless, waving away thrown looks at your poor table etiquettes. Hair frenzied in a mess, your posture slouched as if you owned the ground around you, you had a flair of contentment with everything you did. Interesting human, indeed.   

“I wasn’t aware wearing your afternoon brunch was socially acceptable,” he quipped and your eyes widened, patting hands rubbing away crumbs that doubled his laughter. Croissant bits projectile in his direction, ultimately landing on the table and his lap. 

Your phone announced itself, a text ping waking up your screen with the surprising icon of a newly downloaded dating app. Flat on the table, Nines perked in out of curiosity. Your spread grin was better at drawing his attention.   

It could only mean one thing.  

“I’ve got a date on Friday.”  

-.—.-  

It just happened.   

Somehow in some weirdly fated way, you and Nines had your dates aligned. When you’d dress up for a dinner evening, he’d be suited up for one couple of roads down. The forgotten competition falling into a routine of complimenting each other’s outfits, you pointlessly fixing his collar and escorting either into another’s hands.   

As expected, you’d gasp at the sight of his fitted dress shirt, threaded buttons pulled taunt to the rise and fall of his chest. Bigger biceps smoothed into the arms of his blazer, an icy pair of eyes that’d drop anyone to their knees; you watched appreciatively, blessing your eyes with what his dates would be so lucky to sit across.   

Dang, he looked good. Who needed dinner if desert sat inches away?  

And he’d eye you similarly, following the curves and dips of your dresses, a taunting hug of fabric an extension of your skin leaving little to the imagination, not that he had any. Loose silk that hung low, embraced your thighs just right, it was enough to have you smiling at your reflection. You liked to look like this, beautifully sexy, earning heart eyes from victims you’d never contact again.   

Nines was effortlessly attractive, but you sure believed you were too, and confidence was already half the charm. There was a reason your dating race lingered neck-and-neck, people wanted him and people wanted you.  

Still, you didn’t understand why serial dating was so damn hard.   

Nines excused his admiring as a friendly reciprocal to yours and then you interlinked arms, trotting in pretty shoes to leave some date awestruck.   

Struck, definitely, so much so they didn’t show.   

“Fucking flunked on me,” all of your hours getting ready wasted for nothing. A dangling table light held you in spotlight, the universe laughing at your misery. The waiter dared to make a brief visit, scurrying away when you shot daggers, Phone glued to your ear, you lined a fork with distracted fingers, “I went through all that effort, for what?”  

“He dodged a bullet,” Nines teased, a smirk leaking into your speakers. You groaned annoyingly, a tad bit hurt though you’d never mention it. Nines only chuckled, “are you not hungry?”  

“Of course, I am,” your volume had diners eavesdropping, you lowered it, “but I’m not gonna sit here and eat alone like some… loner .”  

An elderly woman leaned into your line of sight, doing little to mask her judgement.  

“It’s embarrassing,” you sighed, straightening up subconsciously. Nines remained silent, a little something nagged you, “tell me you have better luck than me.”   

He did. Unlike you, Nines was glad his date didn’t show.   

“Unfortunately, detective, I have been cancelled on too.”  

“No. Way.”  

So, obviously, the next step pretty much carved itself out. You were both in need of a nice dinner, dressed to impress, and without your respective dates. Nines took no longer than necessary to join you, filling in the void of an empty seat as you did for him.   

This happened again, from your silk dress to a casual getup, and again, from fancy dining to amusement parks. From black tie gallery visits to turtleneck picnic dates. You found it harder to believe Nines was getting cancelled on when he kept miraculously showing up.   

It wasn’t a date, even if it always looked like it and you’d get ready as such. Painted lips smiled at him rather than some other guy, and neither of you was complaining about it.   

Upon reaching the front of the queue to an ice cream cart, did someone first state the obvious.   

“Here’s one for you and a drink for your partner.”  

You stilled, “oh, we’re not- he’s not-"  

“Thank you,” Nines took your waffle cone, giving it a tasteful lick before handing it to you. He walked away before you could protest.   

“What was that?” You fell behind his longer strides struggling, Nines always found it amusing.   

“What was what?” Pale flickers of his eyes were a tell of his naivety, “are we not partners?”   

Work ones, sure. “Pretty sure she was calling you my date.”   

For his advanced prototype kinks, he hadn’t preconstructed that theory. It was his turn to freeze, the ice of his irises solidifying the rest of his body, the only tell that he hadn’t fallen stasis being an amber spin on his temple. His abrupt halt had you bumping into his back with a grunt.   

Though your complaints died into laughter at seeing him so… off guard.   

“It’s not so bad,” you nudged him, elbow meeting his midriff, its proximity to his thirium pump regulator pulled a heavy huff through his voice. You winked, “you’d be lucky to score with me.”  

Park attendees walked in their chatter, dogs let off their leashes, rolling in the glass with both furry flesh and synthetic plastic alike. Families shared inside jokes, children playfully screaming on the lake’s perimeter. Information coded everywhere in his scans, the broken grid of his deviancy reminding him of his freedom.

But he grew overwhelmed around you.

The past few mutual flunks hadn’t exactly been… mutual. The moment you’d text him your date was boring, or the guy left you hanging again, he’d be the one to disappear mid-mingling and scurry away to accompany you. Surely, that’s what it meant to be a good friend, right?  

He wasn’t looking to replace your flings. He just merely wanted to be there for you. Be a light of colour as you had been for him so many times before.   

Nines blinked erratically, warning ambers giving him away.   

“Jeez, I’m not that bad,” you joked but he caught wrinkled brows of concern, following another lighter playful nudge on his arm. The contact teetered on the edge of overwhelming his processors.  

Neither of you talked about it.  

On came another Friday evening, a ping reminding you of a ‘Tomas’ looking forward to seeing you. Your dressing table mirror applauded the artistry of makeup whilst you merrily shoed up, throwing a text back via that dating app 2.0.  

“I’m so sorry! Can we reschedule?”  

“No show again,” you sighed, lying out of your ass, “how’s that android with the green hair doing for you?” 

“I’m afraid she does not feel interested anymore,” also a lie, Nines had pretty much blocked the persistent woman.  

Getting comfortable in the back row of your local cinema, which was supposed to be Nines escapade for the day, he passed you a popcorn bag, one he’d already bought for you. Lights dimmed at the title screen, Nines sneaked a glance at you, silently admiring the palette of your makeup. Nines liked it when you played with pigments, orange and purples finely painted on eyelids, bringing out the colour of your eyes. It pleasantly stimulated him.  

“What?” Curving in a half-smile, you caught his ogling.   

“You look lovely, detective,” it was pretty much routine at this point, to compliment you. Though this time, the air hung heavier, the smile never making it to his lips, his thirium pump straining for a beat when your vitals jolted the slightest.

He said it so sincerely; why did he sound so different? Your retort wasn’t given voice, a prickle of shivers meeting your extremities in a blush, you were glad the darkness covered for you.  

You swallowed down. He cleared his throat. The movie went on. But the heat of your body, the subconscious leaning on his arm, close enough he could decode the product in your hair, the movie wasn’t plenty distraction.   

And as if rA9 evilly taunted him, a couple cornered in the cinema audibly moaned, latched onto each like horny teenagers. You bobbed your brows at him, ‘kids these days’, but your skin grew hotter, ultimately arising a glitch or two in his system.  

“The movie was great,” you gulped a smile when he walked you home, kicking lone rocks, eyes weighed to the pavement, “I guess, I’ll- I’ll see you.”  

“Yes-,” he spoke too quickly, nodding, “I wish you a good night, detective.”  

You blinked, “you too. Goodnight to you too.”  

“Thank you.” His feet shuffled, “I shall go now.”  

“Get home safe, alright? Goodnight, Nines.”  

“Take care, detective.”  

Awkward couldn’t even begin to describe it.  

-.—.-  

The competition was long gone, dating threads snipped weeks ago when you decided to delete the apps once and for all. Nines had pulled from the single scene even before you did, gulping down excuses as to why he decided to bail on all his prospects.   

“No, we’re friends,” you’d say. Friends that helped each other down a couple drinks. Friends that slow-danced at New Jericho’s fancy dress party, to which Connor had invited you both. Friends that publicly teased each other with a flutter of eyelashes and hot heavy breaths.  

“Since when were you two dating?”   

“This is not a date!”  

Said you at a party where Nines was your plus one, glued to your side like your extension.   

It was getting ridiculous.  

Eventually, neither of you spoke about seeing other people, just assuming the other would turn up. On paper, and even in person, you both looked pretty stupid in denial.   

But one night, clinking afters with your department crew, did the dusted line between friendship and something more sharpen, something that made sense in the entanglement of your not-dates with Nines.  

Officer Wesley was clear in the intention to woo you and have you in bed, playfully raking his gaze and hissing out a compliment. He leaned in closer, elbow atop the bar front with a daring smile. Admittedly, you missed the thrill of being a tease, slipping your tongue out to wrap around the straw but not enough to give him a show. Wesley caught on your game, and for the officer he was, he’d happily play cat and mouse.   

But this time, things felt different and flirting with the dirty-blonde man felt wrong. Flirting with anyone felt wrong. And you couldn’t understand why.  

You flickered in the RK900’s direction, only to find him already watching Wesley talk you up at the bar. A heartbeat thumped particularly loudly when he held your eye contact, leaning back in his booth whilst tonguing his straw similarly to how you had done it.   

Fucking hell.  

“So, how about that drink?” The officer reminded, thumbing at the display of bottles behind the counter.   

Holy shit. You didn’t want to be like every other victim to the reeling of those darkened blue eyes, you weren’t like that.   

With a double take, you caught that damn triumph smirk on his face, as if he could see exactly what that tongue did to you, being on the receiving end of it. Fuck him, you wouldn’t let him win.   

Nines’ smirk faded as soon as you gave the officer your undivided attention, edging your barstool. Your touch crawling up his arm, soft lips leaning closer to his ear and speaking just out of earshot. It had the android inexplicably grinding teeth.  

That was another thing about deviancy it had taken him a while to calibrate; urges. The urge to partake in conversation, or flee from it even, the urge to tease you to the point your cheeks were coloured tomatoes. It was this urge that had an added darkness looming over you, two icicles boring into the back of your head.   

Sixth sense tied a thick knot in your throat.  

Wesley cleared his throat too, sitting up straighter, “Nines, you ah - you good?”  

The android didn’t look it, stalking over your shoulder like he’d no less bite into your neck and suck you dry in one go. But if this officer be a conquest you wanted to take to home, Nines would personally help you put on a show.   

That’s what good friends did, right? Help each other?  

He slitted fingers between chunks of your hair, pulling your head aside abruptly, the contact freezing you in place. You gasped as he lowered his mouth, speaking to the shell of your ear but loud enough for Wesley to pick it up, “we know you want to fuck our little detective, officer.”  

Nines dragged his lips against heated skin, tongue peeking out to taste you. And just as he expected, his HUD blasted with paintballs of colour at the encoding, his pump fluttering when your lashes did so.   

His other hand dragged up your waist, curving at the shape of your breasts and ghosting over your nipples. Lips replaced his tongue, and a trail of android saliva burned into your skin in his venturing down your throat. You took a staggering breath, forcing your eyes open, not realising they had closed.

“Your advances could use some work,” Nines spoke to Wesley, the man’s larynx bobbing at the sight of you melting.   

Large palms curled inwards on your thighs, pushing them apart on display and kneading flesh through fabric. You held back a moan, biting down on the feeling of leaking arousal. God, when did Nines feel so good?  

Nines smiled against your skin, lipsing down the expanse of your neck whilst you pretty much leaned to give him more room. His tongue prodded and lined the length of your passing artery, tasting your fastening pulse, you shivered under him. Even if rendered speechless, your body did the talking.   

Wesley couldn’t decide where to look, Nines prompted further.  

“You just need a little push.”  

Fingers roughly pressing between your legs, one push of a massage that forced a moan deep from your chest, and Nines retreated, taking a large step back. Wesley looked half as shocked as you did, your jaw clenching in the realisation of what just happened.   

Nines leaned carelessly on the bar, unbothered in leaving you aroused. That was his intention, no? To give you and your prospect a push in getting things going? Which is why he blinked confusingly when you shoved him, a frustrated scowl leaving your lips before you stomped out. Wesley sat glued to his chair, still recovering. Nines ran out after you.  

Light patters of rain met his scalp upon catching up to you. You groaned when he called your name.   

“You can’t just- do that!” You yelled, frustration grating your throat, showers dampening your hair, “you can’t just-“  

The android remained still, attempting to understand you with a series of yellow circles.   

“You can’t just touch me like that, Nines!”  

But his touch had arisen positive responses, his brow furrowed in confusion, “why?”  

You stumbled, eyes widening, “why- why? What do you mean why? You can’t go around touching up random people! It’s- it’s wrong!”  

You weren’t random people. Nines processed for a moment, rain splatters snugging the fabric of his sweater against his skin. His scanners quickly caught your gulp, “did you not enjoy it, detective? I assumed he needed a little push.”  

You blinked again, dumbfounded. Who gave him the right to put on a show for Wesley? What on Earth goes on in that metal brain of his?   

“That’s not- I wasn’t going to go home with him,” water collected on your lashes, “I don’t want him.” 

A wave of understanding struck him. He had misunderstood you and his ‘help’ stood void of reason. And recalling the way he stalked over you, no reconstruction software helped in justifying what he did, because the urge didn’t do it for you, it did it for himself.  

The warmth of your chest invited him, kisses digging into the valley of your neck whilst he continually decoded the electrolyte contents of your sweat. It quite literally fuelled him.   

Deviancy was a strange thing, though the only explanation for why Nines wanted to taste you again; he wanted to hear you breathe out his name, shaking with need, begging for more.

You shivered under water pellets, the silence weighing down each of your breaths. And hidden in the muddle of conflicted feelings, you craved Nines to touch you again, give you a warmth in frozen winds. Neither of you moved, and the ghostly burn of his lips longed for his return.   

“I’m going home,” you muttered, straying away from his scanners.  

He wasn’t your date. You weren’t together. But hell, if the assumptions of such didn’t make your heart flutter, you didn’t know what will. Besides, Nines was the embodiment of allurement, poised and perfect, what would he do with the likes of you?  

Arms wrapped around to wade off the cold, teeth chattering, you blinked a few before turning away to walk to your car, the gusts of wind trying to push you back. Nines wouldn’t see you as anything more than a friend, you were sure of it, but your disappointment was cut short when a firm grip latched around your wrist.   

He twisted you, swallowing a squeak with a collided kiss. The colours returned, blinding him tenfold in pretty pinks and bubbly yellows, prompting him to press a hand firmly on the base of your skull and keep you there.   

The tension in your spine remained, but you quickly came out of shock and fervently returned the moulding of your lips with his, hand trailing the flex of his pecs, damp fabric squelching under fingertips.  

The hand on your wrist migrated to the small of your back, pulling you closer. His tongue poked into your mouth, making you gasp at the added anatomy whilst he curled around ravishingly, wet sounds amidst the ambient splashes of rain. Both of your minds dazed, Nines blinking ambers at devouring you and you suddenly patting his chest with a light push.   

He pulled back to let you breathe but returned mid-inhale, this time eagerly tilting his head to see what better fit. He made out the whisper of his name between kisses, responding with an approving groan.   

“Nines,” you tried again, water running streams down your back as it poured heavier. You wondered if hypothermia was worth it, “nines, wait-”  

He kissed you passionately, hoping to swallow the colour of lips and paint his innards as such. Though he eased, slowing to a stop and you panted onto his jaw. He took in the sight, mimicked tears streaking your blue eyeshadow and mascara under the rain, he fought the urge to prod his tongue in your mouth again.   

He awaited your rejection. As you loved to remind everyone, Nines wasn’t your date, always the friend accompanying you instead. He’d be lying if he said watching you with other people didn’t bother him.   

But you didn’t scold him, nor push him away in a fury. You smiled, a toothy grin that you failed to bite away and broke into a soft giggle, “we’re in the middle of a street,” you shook your head, leaning a fraction of an inch closer, “and I’m soaking wet.”  

Nines pulled into a smirk, “you’re welcome.”  

There, the cherry rouge of your cheeks, that was another part of you he wished to consume wholly, preferably with his tongue.  

Everyone else felt wrong, but Nines felt right.  

And upon passing the threshold of your home, Nines proved the feeling to be mutual by meeting your lips again, vocally praising you when your arms wrapped around his neck. Kicking the door shut, his biceps wrapped you tight, squeezing the air in your lungs and suctioning it straight into his chassis.   

He stepped you back, tongue dancing with yours, his fingers tucking away wet hair from your face. You gasped as you hit the wall behind you, his hip bucking into yours with a noticeable erection.  

Hands rummaged under clothing, your damp shirt peeling off your skin with a gust of cold, leaving your hairs on end. The foyer’s air, however, grew dense when Nines hungrily eyed your body. Calm blue of his LED blinked an amber and he suddenly threw you over his shoulder.   

“Nines!” You shrieked, your protests dying as he caressed the back of your thigh. He carried you to your bedroom, bouncing you onto the mattress with a look that kept you frozen. You gulped in anticipation as he undressed whilst you were only stripped of your shirt.  

“Your body temperature has dropped to lower ranges,” he knelt between your legs, clasping your wrists immobile and kissing you into the sheets. You arched into him, gasping at the skin-to-synthetic contact. His lips ghosted to tongue at your jaw, a wet pad of the plastic muscle running up just below your ear.  

“I must heat you.”  

“You’re as cold as they come,” he pulled back to meet your remark, a teasing glimmer in your eyes. Nines kissed your collar, the sound of compensatory breaths prompting him to lower to your bra, unclasp it and swirl a perked nipple with his tongue.   

The moon slitted through blinds, painting him a blue that matched his temple. A warm breath breezed over your lower abdomen, fingers gripping the hem of your pants and shimmying them off. Wet skin made you sensitive to his touch, a tingling working overtime where he wrapped around your thighs, his lips hovering over your remaining underwear.   

Of all your dating partners, specifically those you had slept with, only a handful of them had been androids, and it never made it passed foreplay. Whether that be inexperience or hesitance, flings would be done after a touch-up.  

Nines had his fair share of sexual partners, learning what got people going and what fed his desires. But your unfiltered storytelling exposed you of kinks and likes that a curious android like Nines couldn’t help fantasising about.   

What would you look like under him? How did you sound when forced a rolling orgasm to ripple through you?   

A devilish smile made his lips before he took your undergarments in his teeth, lust-blown eyes watching how you shivered at the sight of him dragging them off. Wrapping around you twice as tight, he gave you a flat lick from slit to bud, pushing down your hips to stop your squirming. He was glad to find you were, indeed, soaking wet.  

Having him right there, head of brown bobbing up and down, experimentally sliding his tongue in places you didn’t know existed, the sight of him had you biting your lower lip, trying to chew down an embarrassing whimper.   

His tongue made circles around your clit, flickering left and right at a gasping pace. Your hands found his scalp, splitting his hair into sizeable chunks, holding on like the handlebars of a rollercoaster; and the way he looked at you, pupils swallowing icy blue into a predatory black, a shiver ran down your back, clenching your thighs against his biceps.  

Wet muscle prodded into your slit, eliciting a moan. You almost squealed when his thumb continued to press patterns on your clit whilst tongue-fucking you into the sheets. You pulled at the root of soft, chestnut hair, and he only picked up the pace, having you pant in line with his pace.   

You tipped over unexpectedly, crying out your orgasm with an abrupt push against his mouth. Nines crawled above you again, making you taste yourself with a deep, sharp kiss.  

To see you like this, body quivering for his touch, an undertone of pink blushing your skin, his field of vision saturated in the colour of you. He wanted more. He wanted to see you come undone again, paint you an orgasm that would stain him for the rest of his android existence. Maybe he understood why Markus created art so often, maybe abstract understanding was closer than he realised. Nines wished for nothing more than to place you high on a pedestal or pin you against the wall for reasons other than framing you a painting. 

“Every date you were bailed on,” he whispered confessions on your skin, gently lipsing your shoulders, “I cancelled mine to join you.” You stiffened under him, muscles taunt under his lips, he clarified, “I’d much rather have you than anyone else, detective.”  

Of course. You were right. Nines wouldn’t get bailed on that often, it was impossible. You mustered up enough air to speak, “if we’re confessing, I deleted the apps weeks ago.”  

Like the robot he was, he halted mid-kiss, a shifting yellow giving him away as it did back at the ice cream cart. You were both lying to each other, simply to be in each other’s company.  

You added with a tease, “you don’t have to lie to score a date with me, Nines.”  

“I thought I was ‘not a date’,” blue-greys accused you.  

“Yeah, I guess we’re both pretty stupid then.”  

Your smile brightened the room, despite moonlight barely filtering through your windows, corners bordering darkness. Nines mirrored the grin, dipping down to kiss you with a newfound heaviness in his chest. He pulled off his briefs, lips never leaving yours, and lined himself between spread thighs.  

Your breath hitched at the stretch of muscle when he pushed in, barely giving you time to adjust and pushing in further until he bottomed out. Or at least you hoped he did, you weren’t sure if you could take any more of him.   

Breathing in each other's pants, he rocked slowly, fingers bruising your wrists, lips bruising your neck. Nines grew desperate to see you in the colour of his lips, turning purples in broken blood vessels. His pelvis smacked again your clitoris, grinding an added stimulation, your head rolling back, moaning his name right into his ear.  

Setting a brutal pace abruptly, swallowing squeals in messy lip-locking, Nines stretched you to the teetering line of pain and pleasure, the head of his cock driving into a sensitive spot that jolted your nerves in bliss. He rutted like an animal, resting his forehead on yours, fucking you with a harsh snap of hips, your legs could only hold on for dear life. He loved to see the dip between your brows, raccoon-faced from messy makeup. It made him twitch inside of you.

“You feel so good. You look perfect,” he praised, bringing two fingers under your jaw to prompt eye contact. You met his darkened expression, his rouge curl tickling your forehead. Thumb shaping your lips, he pushed in knuckle-deep, pressing down on your tongue. You gave an instinctive suck as he growled, “you’re mine.”  

Every thrust brought about a new sound from your throat, and with your mouth forced half-open, there was little you could do to stop them. Your eyes rolled back, toes curling at a rolling orgasm, the sounds of sex driving you to buck into him as he did you.   

You were desperate, needy, and what was left of Nines’ restraint was snapped. He fucked hard, muttering profanities as he edged closer, seeing you at the mercy of everything he gave you flipping him inside out.   

He wanted to see you like this, again and again. His thumb subconsciously retracted his simulated skin, a ripple in your mouth that diverted your attention, and a glowing blue lit up from below the whites of his hand. An interface, the both of you realised. You moaned at his display of intimacy. 

Nines staggered into you, losing his rhythm. 

You looked good in blue.   

“Come for me.”  

And with sharp thrusts, you arched into a mind-blowing orgasm, limbs shaking as he continually dragged in and out to chase his own. He spilled with a throb, panting at the chance of painting you inwards as you did to him, and watched the slowed pumping of where the both of you connected.   

Though upon spotting a trail of blueish white leaking out of you, his hips bucked involuntarily, eager for another round.   

You moaned in euphoria, and that was enough for him to keep going.

It was no surprise Nines adored the sight of you decorated in his markings, growling in every painted colour you presented. So, the next steps carved themselves, and you had a great idea for your next date.   

Painting.

[monstersinthecosmos]

but now the cosmos crawls with monsters

KACY. 30s. She/They.

This blog contains adult content, please do not follow if you are a minor.

hi friends! I'm Kacy, I write fanfiction! I like ducks and heavy metal! I mostly use this space to talk about The Vampire Chronicles, but I also like Sheith, and horror films, and kink theory! I am an asexual porn writer and I'm obsessed with Marius!

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Bsky - kacycarr on bsky - you will find mostly Sheithing here!

Ko-Fi - feel free to buy me a coffee if you like my fics! I have some fics available for purchase in digital download and paperback! I will also invite you to check out projects I created & co-mod called @vamptember (vampire prompts during the month of September!) and @priapus-at-the-gate (the VC Kink Meme!) VC STUFF!

I mostly use this space to talk about VC since the fandom is either dead or toxic as fuck on other platforms. I've been into VC since like THE YEAR 2000 LOL. I had fics that got taken down in the FFnet purge! Ancient! Marius is my favorite character and I'm more partial to Marius subplots/timelines. I'm also really into the Devil's Minion and Trinity Gate! I'm super into whatever the fuck was going on with Marius & Daniel! I could talk about Armand all fucking day! Pandora is my hero! Please expect posts about these things! I didn't love the AMC adaptation so I don't talk about it very often, because I try to focus on stuff I enjoy. ♡ TAGS

#stuff i wrote - IT'S FOR STUFF I WROTE. contains fics and discussion of fics. if they're very short they might only be on Tumblr and not on AO3.

#deep ass thoughts about vampires - my meta tag, sorry I came up with the name while I was stoned back in 2016 and I'm too lazy to change it :)

#trauma hole theory - if you want even DEEPER ass thoughts about vampires, this is where I park thoughts related to "do vampires have neuroplasticity?" and "would therapy even work on them?" #asexual vc - I don't really shut the fuck up about vampires being asexual so if you wanna hear about it CLICK HERE

#simple italian perv - MISC SMUTTY THOUGHTS to keep the rent low lol if you're new here I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me

#the skateboard of shakespeare - I visited Tulane last year and documented a ton of info from the Anne Rice collection! I use this tag when I share! #vampire chronicles- for book stuff!

#vampire pajama party on amc - this is my tag for the AMC show; I'm not a big fan of it so please feel free to mute if you don't want to see salt posts. (I have a second, even saltier tag called #the rolin jonestown massacre if you want to mute that one as well!)

#devils minion girlies - STILL WORKING HARD TO POPULATE THIS TAG but if you like thinking about Armand & Daniel as lesbians please see this tag. #unethical marius - I've been really obsessed lately with thinking about an AU where Marius is an unethical therapist LOLLL please feel free to peruse or mute as needed. #vampire music - I have like a ND relationship to music and I love sharing it even if no one else cares and taste is subjective but if you ever want vampirey music recs they will be here :D #fandom lolitics - I try not to share too much discourse & drama but it's here if you want to mute it! #vcficfriday - when I have time & remember to I like to share fics I've read on Fridays!!!! Please feel free to use this tag in your own blog as well, to build up fic writers!

I THINK THAT COVERS IT, FELLAS, please be kind to each other and don't be shy to send me asks if you have any questions!

[nicromancytarot]

MY MAIN SPIRITUAL AWAKENING

I should start off by saying that this awakening and information links into one of my past lives, I wasn’t aware at the time because I didn’t find out about this past life until pretty much a year after my awakening, but this information is the life path of that past life, and this is most likely my last life (which I can talk about if you’d like) so I gotta complete his mission in this one too!

Ok so picture this, March 2023, laying in bed on tiktok, I start seeing angel numbers every minute, they get more and more, this goes on for the entire next 2 days. I think I’m dying, I search up what that could mean (I also had a rash at the time that I thought was cancerous lmao, so that tops it off)

2 days later I awake from my slumber, it’s like 1pm and I’m hungry for my breakfast, so I get up and grab myself a bowl of noodles. And as I got to sit down back in my bed, I go “I wonder what happens after we die.”

Now, if you’re spiritual, you may know how it feels to ask a question out loud and receive a download of the answer, well that was exactly that.

All the sudden my mind is flooded with information, I began reciting it to better understand whatever the hell I was thinking.

These were my first studies on the subject, based off everything that I was channeling from I assume my spirit guides. So here’s a run down on what I learnt the first day.

Ignore the spelling mistakes, spelling is not one of my core strengths.

THE BLACK AND WHITE HOLE THEORY

The black and white hole theory is one that I hold very loosely, it basically just means that our universe is being projected in the middle of these two portals of gravitational points.

But it does feed into my favourite theory! Which we will get into later on as it’s later down in the storyline.

HYPNOSIS, HALLUCINATIONS, AND THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

So I focused more on the power of our subconsciousness and what we can achieve. Our subconsciousness acts like a sponge, everything that you see, hear, touch, smell, taste is remembered by your subconscious mind. So you may see someone’s face and not actually remember them consciously, but find that they seem familiar due to your subconscious memory.

I mentioned hallucinations and schizophrenia, treading very carefully here, it is within one of my theories that both of those occur when someone’s subconsciousness is overpowered compared to their consciousness, causing seeing, hearing and experiencing things that are not real.

My main proof of this possibility is that I experience something called Hypnopompic hallucinations, these occur as someone is awakening. You experience a hallucination caused by the fact that you are still in a state of relaxation and your subconsciousness is in control of your mind at that time.

Some things I have experienced:

- Bugs crawling on my body, I woke up and proceeded to strip myself out of my clothes and throw them on the floor, it only lasted around thirty seconds and then I realised it wasn’t real and went back to sleep.

- Bugs crawling under my sheets, I jumped up, waking up my cat in the process, lasted 10-15 seconds.

- A snake on my bed, my most recent one, I woke up and saw a snake on the side of my bed, I pulled myself out in such an awkward way and went to grab a blanket to remove it, then realised it wasn’t real. Lasted 30 seconds.

- A man standing by the side of my bed. TERRIFYING, I didn’t sleep for 2 days after this dude. I woke up and saw a man standing at the side of my bed, a minute later, while hiding under my sheets, I realised he wasn’t real and proceeded to cry about it to my friends lmao.

So why does this relate to daylight hallucinations and cases of schizophrenia? My mother is schizophrenic so I had a little interview with her about it, we both agreed that hallucinations, no matter if caused by a natural phenomenon or some imbalance in the chemical reactions of your brain, they still feel very real. I woke up to that snake and thought it was real, my heart was racing, the same way that she describes her hallucinations. The medication used in cases of schizophrenia and hallucinations most likely alters the chemical reactions between the conciousness and subconsciousness in the brain, therefore lowering the reaction of the subconscious side.

Going back to hypnosis, I didn’t believe in this shit for the longest time, but the scientific explanation is easy to explain. During hypnosis the individual gets into a relaxed state, in which we would refer to as being the same as a heightened subconsciousness induced hallucination episode. Therefore those who respond well to their time under hypnosis will actually experience seeing and believing in things because their subconsciousness (which has no understanding of reality, hence whacky dreams) is the one responding.

WHAT IS REAL?

So now we’ve learnt that your subconsciousness controls things that aren’t necessarily real, what does that mean? Well your subconsciousness is more active in states of relaxation, that’s how dreams, hypnosis, astral travel and others all occur.

This is also the part of your brain partial to experiencing deja vu, something that your consciousness cannot remember but your subconsciousness does.

So what does this mean for our reality? Well if we can experience the astral via our subconscious response, and experience things that are not real, that leads us to the three points of reality.

3D, 4D, 5D

The physical realm, spiritual realm, and the astral realm.

An important thing to know about these is that the 4D and 5D work simultaneously and are connected. This is because everything that doesn’t exist physically must exist spiritually, so every thought, idea, manifestation exist in the 4D, this is because non-physical matter must expel spiritually. Now we as physical beings cannot access the 4D, however we can exist in its buddy, the 5D, this is where our dreams take place, astral travel, meditation.

So why can’t we access the spiritual if it is connected to the astral? Because physical matter does not expel spiritually. Even when we are in the astral, we are always tried down to our physical body. In cases of shifting realities you can go and experience another reality, however now you’re tied down to another physical body, and therefore not in the spiritual.

So what is in the spiritual? Spirits, manifestations, desires, dreams, hopes, ideas, the multiverse, the afterlife, God’s, dieties. All of the above are spiritual matter.

There is only one thing to connect the physical and spiritual realms, and that’s energy, imagine having a rope in between the two, that’s energy, it flows simultaneously though both realms, and even towards the astral and anything more.

SO DEATH? WHAT IS DEATH?

Death is the act of physical disconnection to the 3D. When someone dies, they can no longer have a physical attachment to that universe as their body is not responsive to their soul.

Perhaps you’ll like to hear this, maybe you won’t. Personally it gives me some peace of mind after five years of solely believing in quantum immortality. But your afterlife is what you make of it.

We have already noted that EVERYTHING that doesn’t exist physically must exist spiritually, so that means when we access the spiritual, we can do whatever we want. Reincarnate, spend time with family, become a spirit, meet your Gods or deities, it’s truly up to you from here on out.

BACK TO LIFE EXPERIENCES

When someone passes on but comes back to life, there is a very different reaction to this. In the physical only present time exists, but in the spiritual you can access both the past and future, so when someone dies and becomes of spiritual matter, they’re future dictation could keep them connected to their physical body.

Most likely they will end up in the void, it’s like the afterlife but it’s within the astral, this is a place where whatever you want can happen, a lot like the spiritual, but here you are still connected to your physical body and can be brought back whenever. And that’s what happens. The void is a black endless space, so some people with back to life experiences have said that they experienced meeting God, while others only saw a black void of endless time. That my friends is the lovely void state. You can access this while alive, it’s the best for manifestation, astral projection and shifting realities.

THE INTEGRITY OF A TRIANGLE

My favourite theory!!!

Triangles have three points and are the most stable shape in the entire world, what else has three points? that’s right, time.

PAST —> PRESENT —> FUTURE

But a triangle with three sides is only one triangle, in the same way that three forms of time only equate to one.

The present tense. That’s how we experience everything. Eight years ago I experienced in the present, although now we call it the past. And in 20 years will be my future, but I’ll experience it presently.

We can only exist in the present.

So going back to our black and white hole theory. Three points of time. The white hole (past), the black hole (future) and in the middle? The universe.

PAST —> PRESENT —> FUTURE

WHITE —> UNIVERSE —> BLACK

The integrity of a triangle.

I have an entire book of this stuff and could talk about it for days, but that’s a fair amount of it simplified.

If i disappear, I would never kill myself!! I’ve probably been found by the FBI 🫶🏻

[tevanavernus]

You Look So Pretty, Pretty Like The Sun - Chapter 8

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Link to ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55256683/chapters/146069278

If anyone asked Buck, he wasn't nervous about the trivia night. He was good at trivia; he liked facts and diving down random Google rabbit holes. Ever since Tommy invited him to his trivia night, Buck's preparation for the event had become almost a routine. He spent evenings browsing through obscure articles, watching documentaries, and downloading trivia apps on his phone. He even quizzed Tommy a few times when they were lying on Tommy's couch with a movie playing in the background. He was ready.

It was purely a coincidence that as the day progressed, Buck found himself pacing around his loft, muttering trivia questions under his breath and second-guessing his answers. He'd pull out his phone to check a fact he already knew, just to reassure himself. He changed shirts multiple times, debating whether the blue one made him look nicer or if the black one was more form fitting.

"Evan," Tommy called out as he entered the bathroom, where Buck was inspecting himself in the mirror once again. He walked up behind Buck and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him close.

"The Uber will leave without us," Tommy murmured, his breath warm against Buck's ear.

Melting into Tommy, he caught Tommy's eyes in the mirror and smiled faintly. "Yeah, I'm good. Ready."

Tommy raised an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly to get a better look at Buck's face. "You know this is not a life-or-death situation, right?" he asked, his voice laced with amusement. "The prize is just coupons for drinks."

Buck chuckled, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "I know, I just want everything to go well. I don't want to let your friends down."

Tommy's lips curled into a soft smile. "Coworkers," he corrected, resting his chin on Buck's shoulder. "And trust me, they will live. Eddie wasn't a trivia wizard and they invited him again."

"That's different," Buck sighed, his brow furrowing slightly. "You're not dating Eddie."

"I sure hope not," Tommy huffed out a laugh, giving Buck a playful squeeze. "He was terrible at knowing animal facts."

Buck turned in Tommy's arms, their faces inches apart. He could see the teasing glint in Tommy's eyes. "So that's why you're dating me?" he asked, flashing a grin. "For my animal knowledge?"

"Perhaps," Tommy replied with a teasing smile. "That and your ability to remember obscure historical events. It's a rare combination."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better," Buck murmured, though his smile had widened.

Tommy cupped Buck's face in his hands, his thumbs brushing lightly against Buck's cheeks. "Maybe a little," he admited, his face softening. "Is it working?"

Buck's smile grew more genuine, the remaining tension melting away. "Yeah, it is," he said softly. "But just so you know, I will win you those coupons so you can drink your fancy beer."

"Craft beer," Tommy corrected with a chuckle, leaning in to kiss Buck lightly on the lips. The kiss was soft and gentle, their lips just barely brushing. "And you like it too."

"It's alright." Buck scrunched his nose a little, playfully, as he pulled the lapels of Tommy's shirt to bring him closer.

Tommy smiled, giving him one more quick peck before stepping back. "Now let's get moving before our Uber really does leave without us."

————————

The ride passed quickly and without fanfare. Tommy sat in the back with Buck, their hands joined loosely over Buck's lap as the younger man looked up more facts.

"Did you know that chickens are the closest living relatives to the T-Rex?" Buck said, his eyes lighting up with enthusiasm as he turned the phone screen towards Tommy.

Tommy chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "Okay, baby," he said, gently taking the phone from Buck's hands and pocketing it. "That's enough screen time for you."

"Hey," Buck protested, making a playful grabbing gesture with his hands. "We need to annihilate the other teams with our knowledge."

"My brain is about to be annihilated if I hear one more fact," Tommy teased, giving Buck a nudge with his shoulder.

"You know, I don't think that's possible," Buck replied with a grin. "My facts are very brain-friendly."

"How about you save those brain-friendly facts for when we get there? I'll give you your phone back, and you can share them with the team as much as you want."

"Deal."

It didn't take long to pull up to the karaoke bar. After Tommy insisted on paying for the Uber, he led them through the bustling bar, weaving through groups of people with practiced ease. Still holding Buck's hand, Tommy guided them to their reserved table near the stage, where a few of his coworkers were already gathered.

"Damn Kinard, where have you been keeping all these good looking men?"

"Away from you," Tommy smirked. "Everyone, this is Evan, my boyfriend. Call him Buck."

They made quick introductions and Buck tried to remember everyone's names and what they did. Andrew was a fellow pilot that closely worked with Tommy. Sam and Lisa were both paramedics and Dominic was in ground support.

"So, Buck," Sam turned to him with a curious smile. "Tommy is terrible at telling us anything. What do you do?"

Tommy rolled his eyes as he picked up the pitcher of beer and poured it into Buck's glass before pouring himself. Buck smiled in a silent thank you.

"I'm, uh, a firefighter actually." Buck replied

"Oh nice! What station?" Lisa pipped in, leaning forward with interest.

"118," Buck said, picking up his glass and taking a sip.

"Oh no way!" exclaimed Andrew. "We hear that the station is near cursed or something. All the weirdest calls go to you."

"Really? Like what?" Dominic asked.

Buck glanced at Tommy, who gave him an encouraging nod. "Okay, so remember when the city was hit by that ransomware attack a few years back? It unleashed all kinds of hell downtown. During that chaos, we got a call saying that the attack had busted open all the cages at the L.A. Zoo and that animals were loose. It was kind of insane to see a giraffe and an elephant just strolling down the streets. And then—"

Buck went off on a tangent, recounting the story in vivid detail with animated gestures. He described the surreal scene of animals meandering through the city, and how he was put on animal control duty. The nerves he felt about meeting Tommy's coworkers slowly slipped away as he got more engrossed in the story. There wasn't much time for nerves anyway, between trading stories back and forth and discussing each other's strengths.

Buck glanced at Tommy from time to time, who mostly listened, leaning back in his seat with an arm wrapped loosely around the back of Buck's chair. His fingers lightly grazed the top of Buck's shoulder from time to time, a reassuring touch that made Buck feel even more at ease. Their eyes met whenever Buck looked up at him, and Tommy smiled warmly at him each time.

The rounds of trivia soon began, and Buck's competitiveness spiked within a couple of rounds. Each question brought the team closer as they huddled to whisper their guesses, usually getting them right. Buck's enthusiasm was infectious, but it also led to a few semi-heated whisper discussions about the correct answers. His excitement drew the attention of other teams, who occasionally threw glances their way and tried to listen in.

A break was called halfway through the night, and they were leading by 15 points, much to Buck's smug delight and the other teams' disappointment.

"Are you always this good?" Andrew asked Buck, who ducked his head, his cheeks heating up.

"I guess? I just really enjoy learning random facts," Buck replied, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling sheepishly.

"Well, it's paying off big time tonight," Andrew continued, impressed. "We've never been this far ahead before."

"You better not mess this up, Tommy. We need Buck to stick around," Lisa teased, pointing a threatening finger at Tommy.

Tommy raised his hands in mock surrender, laughing. "Hey, don't worry. I'm not letting him go anywhere."

Buck felt a flutter in his chest at his words, and a wide grin spread across his face.

With their drinks running low, Tommy stood up and offered to grab them another round. Buck quickly followed, mentioning that he will join Tommy at the bar after a quick trip to the bathroom.

By the time he washed his hands and walked up to the bar, Tommy was leaning lightly against the counter while a barman was pouring the pitchers. Buck was about to place his hand on the small of Tommy's back when he overheard them talk. Well, the guy seemed to do all the talking.

"You're one of the firefighters right?" The barman asked with a charming smile. "I think I've seen you around here a few times."

"Pilot at the Harbour station, actually." Tommy offered a small smile.

"That is so awesome." the barman gushed, and Buck narrowed his eyes slightly. Was the guy for real? "Flying must be incredible. I've always wanted to learn but never found the time. You must be really skilled to handle something so complex. It sounds... thrilling."

Tommy chuckled, "It has its moments. The view is pretty nice too."

The barman leaned a little closer after placing the last pitcher, his voice dropping to a more intimate tone. "I bet. It must be exciting, being up there, feeling the rush. Do you ever take people up for rides?"

"Yeah he does. Like his boyfriend. Who is also a firefighter." Buck finally interjected with an overly sweet smile, stepping closer to Tommy and placing a near possessive hand on his shoulder.

"Oh," The barman's eyes flicked to Buck, then back to Tommy with a hint of disappointment. He tried to quickly recover. "That's nice. Anyways, your beer is ready. Enjoy guys and good luck."

Buck watched as he stepped away to serve someone else and huffed. "What a jackass," Buck muttered under his breath.

"Well that was smooth," Tommy deadpanned as he warped an arm around Buck's waist and pulled him closer.

The beer was forgotten for a moment.

"He was practically drooling over you," Buck grumbled, though he leaned into Tommy's embrace.

"Good thing I have a cute boyfriend come to my rescue." Tommy teased, pressing a quick kiss to Buck's temple.

"Sorry," Buck mumbled. Now that the guy was gone, his jealousy was quickly turning into embarrassment. "I know I shouldn't but… he was really obvious."

"Well, he didn't stand a chance," Tommy said and then smirked, leaning to murmur into his ear. "Besides, when we get home, I'll show you exactly what you do to me." Tommy winked at him.

Buck's cheeks heated up for an entirely different reason, the warmth spreading across his face as he tried to suppress a groan.

Tommy's words sent a thrill through Buck, making his heart race. He looked away, trying to compose himself, but he was screwed. He just hoped it wasn't as obvious to everyone else.

As they rejoined the group with the drinks, Buck couldn't help but steal glances at Tommy, feeling the heat in his cheeks every time their eyes met. The smug smirk on Tommy's face was really unhelpful.

—————————

If Buck had a nickel for every time Eddie managed to accidentally crash his and Tommy's date, he'd have two nickels. Which wasn't a lot but it was weird it happened twice. Or that was what Buck thought, for a moment, as his phone lit up again with Eddie's name on it.

They were having a quiet night in. Both, himself and Tommy, had an early shift that day and by the evening, neither of them felt like going out. So Buck took over Tommy's kitchen to prepare dinner, occasionally passing something to Tommy to cut up, while soft music played from the living room. Buck was slowly getting used to the layout of Tommy's kitchen, barely needing to question where anything was. It was nice, the domesticity of it all. It had become routine, as much as their work allowed, to eat together at least a few times a week. It had also become one of Buck's favorite things to look forward to.

It was right after dinner that his phone started to buzz. They had moved to the couch, with Buck lying on his back, his head resting in Tommy's lap , and his legs draped over the side of the couch. Tommy's legs were stretched out, resting on the coffee table, while his fingers absentmindedly played with Buck's hair. Some new reality show that Buck picked out on Netflix played on the screen. The first time, Buck ignored it, figuring that Eddie would get the hint and text if it was important. Except, the phone rang again. Sighing, Buck reached for it to answer, not expecting the frantic voice that greeted him.

"Buck, how fast can you come over?" Eddie's voice was laced with panic.

"Whoa, Eddie, calm down," Buck said quickly, his heart rate spiking at the urgency in his friend's tone. He shifted up from Tommy's lap to sit up. "What's wrong?"

"I, uh, fuck. I fucked up. Come. I'll tell you when you come. Please."

"Okay, yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can." Buck promised, hanging up as a knot of anxiety formed in his stomach. His mind immediately started racing with worst-case scenarios. Was Chris hurt? Did something happen after the shift? Was Eddie having a panic attack episode? That hadn't happened in a while but it didn't mean it couldn't pick up again.

"Is everything okay?" Tommy asked, concern etched on his face.

"I don't know. Eddie didn't say, but it sounded bad," Buck replied, standing up to get his wallet and keys from the table. His hands trembled slightly as he fumbled with his belongings, the unease growing with each passing second.

Tommy shifted on the couch, watching him with worry. Buck pocketed his stuff and turned back to Tommy.

"I'm sorry. I know we had our thing, but I have to check on him. And—" Buck's voice trailed off as he looked at Tommy, searching for a flicker of frustration or hurt in Tommy's eyes at their plans being once again disrupted. The thought of Tommy feeling neglected or sidelined gnawed at him. He was fucking this up wasn't he?

"Evan, you never have to apologize to me about this," Tommy interrupted, his voice calm. He stood up, placing a reassuring hand on Buck's arm. Buck felt a small wave of relief but still braced himself, his shoulders tense. "He is your friend, and he needs you. Go. We'll finish this later."

Buck's shoulders sagged in relief as some of the tension melted away.

"You sure?" Buck asked, needing to double check.

Tommy nodded. "Of course, baby. Drive safe, and let me know if you're coming back tonight or if you need anything, okay?"

How could Buck not kiss the man in front of him with everything that he had? He leaned in, capturing Tommy's lips in a deep, grateful kiss. He hoped it conveyed how grateful he was for Tommy's understanding. How much Buck appreciated him.

He let the kiss linger, savoring the way Tommy's hand came up to rest gently on the small of his back, anchoring him.

I love you, a stray thought passed through his head. Buck had no time to unpack it or to really acknowledge it. He let it linger for a moment. Pulling back, he whispered instead, "Thank you."

"Go," Tommy urged gently, giving Buck a reassuring smile.

Buck nodded with one last look of appreciation before he hurried out the door to make his way across the city.

He only needed to ring the doorbell once.

The door swung open almost immediately, revealing Eddie's strained face. His eyes were wide with anxiety, and his hair was disheveled as if he'd been running his hands through it repeatedly. Buck's worry deepened at the sight of his friend looking so distraught. "Thanks for coming," Eddie said, his voice shaky.

"So, what happened?" Buck asked, a little breathless, as his mind switched to 'how can I fix this' mode. He scanned Eddie's face for clues, trying to gauge the severity of the situation.

Eddie rushed to tell the story and by the time he finished Buck had to sit down. He didn't know what to say or do to help. He wanted to be surprised, but was this not the exact thing he had tried to warn his friend against all those weeks ago? Buck's shoulders slumped. He couldn't blame Eddie or think to say 'I told you so'. The whole situation was a mess and he hated to see Eddie be hurt by it.

"Okay. Okay. I'm here," Buck said, steadying himself. "What can I do?"

"What you always do. Just talk to him." Eddie pleaded.

Talking to Chris proved to be hard. It took a considerable amount of time and effort to coax the young teen into opening the door. He had to promise multiple times that it was only him before the door slowly creaked open, and he was finally let inside. Even then, Chris barely responded to him.

Buck sat gently at the edge of the bed, feeling the heavy silence settle around them. There was nothing he could say or do to make this better.

Finally, Chris, still facing away from Buck, mumbled into the quiet room, "Marisol is going away, isn't she?" His voice was tinged with a mixture of sadness and sorrow.

"Yeah, buddy," Buck sighed deeply, his own heart heavy. He knew how much Chris came to like her. "I think she is."

Chris slowly turned to face Buck, his eyes filled with confusion and hurt. "Why?" he asked, his voice wavering and for a moment he sounded like the eight-year-old Buck first met. The boy who couldn't quite grasp why his mother wasn't coming home one day.

Buck took a deep breath, searching for the right words. He didn't know the answer. "I don't know, Chris," he answered honestly. "Life gets messy and complicated sometimes, and we do things we never thought we would."

Chris looked down, his hands fidgeting with the edge of his shirt. "I called my grandparents."

"You did?" Buck asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

Chris nodded slowly, tears welling up in his eyes. "I want to go. With them. I don't want to be here."

Without hesitation, Buck pulled him into a tight hug. He could feel Chris freeze up for a moment before he melted into his arms, shaking, his breaths coming in short, uneven gasps as he struggled to contain his emotions.

"Okay," Buck finally managed to say, his voice thick with emotion. His heart was breaking for Chris and for Eddie.

He had a dreadful feeling this was not something that could be fixed easily or anytime soon. But for now, all he could do was hold Chris and let him cry into his shirt.

———————————

Buck jolted awake with a sharp inhale, startling himself out of sleep. He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face before opening his eyes. The loft was dimmer than when he had gotten inside but wasn't pitch dark yet. The shift had been hectic all day, with the last call for a pileup coming in minutes before the shift ended. He had only moments to shove his stuff back in his locker and rush out. The call lasted hours, and by the time he got home, his only coherent thought was to collapse into bed and pass out immediately.

With his mind clearer, he reached across the bed to grab his phone, but his hand landed on the empty, flat surface. He lifted his head from the pillow to scan the bed, but his phone was nowhere to be found. Frowning, he shifted up to check his bedside table, but it was also empty.

Out of habit, he patted the pockets of his pants that he hadn't bothered to take off before collapsing. It seemed like his phone had just vanished. So Buck did the only logical thing he could; he shook the bedsheets and threw his pillows to the floor, hoping to hear the telltale clatter of his missing phone. He huffed in frustration, running a hand through his hair as he looked around the bedroom.

He walked downstairs and scanned the counters and the couch. He moved his one-seater, peered behind furniture, and even checked the bathrooms, though he couldn't remember bringing his phone in there. Even his overnight bag proved to be useless in his search. His fingers itched to wrap around the device. Tommy would be getting off his shift soon and he didn't have much time to talk with him during the day.

"Come on, where are you?" he muttered to himself, running out of ideas where to find it. It had to be somewhere. But as he surveyed his apartment and the mess he made in search of it, a sense of defeat began to creep in.

As a last-ditch effort, he decided to check his work bag again. He had looked through it before, but maybe he had missed something. He emptied the bag, shaking out the contents onto the floor. His clothes, a bottle of deodorant and random pieces of papers tumbled out, but no phone.

Suddenly, a thought struck him. He vividly remembered the rush at the end of his shift, shoving his belongings into his locker without much thought. Maybe he had left his phone at the station.

Buck let out a groan at the thought of being stuck in traffic all over again. He ran a hand through his hair, glancing at the clock. There was no other choice; he needed his phone. Grabbing his keys, he headed out the door and braced himself for the drive back, putting on a random station on the radio.

The traffic was as bad as he had feared, a crawling mess of cars inching their way through the evening rush. Buck drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, his frustration mounting with each passing minute. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he pulled into the station parking lot.

He made his way inside, noticing that the firetruck and ambulance were out. The station was quieter than usual, the hum of activity replaced by an almost eerie calm. His arrival with his truck drew attention to the man behind, Maxwell, who was leaning against the railing of the upstairs mezzanine.

"Buckley, back so soon?" the man called down, his voice carrying easily in the quiet station. They passed each other at the handover earlier in the evening.

"Yeah, forgot something," Buck replied, his tone tinged with a mix of irritation and weariness. "Anyone else around?"

"Think Nash is still in his office, but the crew left half an hour ago," Maxwell responded.

"Great," Buck muttered with a nod, and made his way to the locker room. He opened the door, and there it was—his phone, sitting right in front of him. He let out a sigh of relief, grabbing the phone and immediately seeing the few messages from Tommy.

Tommy [14:32]: What is it with people hiking to weirdest places and then getting stuck.

Tommy [16:04]: Hope your shift is going well.

Tommy [20:10]: Just got off. My place or yours?

The last message was only 20 minutes ago. Looking down at his phone, he started to type out that he was back at the station and could come over to Tommy's place. As he typed with one hand, he reached to shut his locker door with the other. Just then, he felt a presence behind him. A sudden chill ran down his spine. He looked up and started to turn, but before he could react, a sharp, hard object struck him across the head.

The impact was sudden and brutal, sending a jolt of searing pain through his skull. His breath caught in his chest. His phone flew from his grip, clattering to the floor as he lost his balance. Buck instinctively reached out for support, his hand grasping at the air as he crumpled to the floor. The world spun around him, his vision blurring as he stumbled. Spots of light danced in his eyes, and a low ringing filled his ears.

Panic surged through him, but it was too late. The darkness swallowed him completely, pulling him into unconsciousness.