#I had such high hopes in this regard and you exceeded them

[tfyoulookingatgiuxs]

Hello! I’ve read a bit of your stuff and really like it. Could you do a cute secret relationship story with Billy Hargrove x fem reader pls.

Thank you!

• Hmm...why not? It would be interesting. Worth a try! (I'm not a big fan of Billy but I'm happy to be able to satisfy your requests).

Together Forever

Billy Hargrove x Female!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: You and Billy have been engaged for more than two years in secret, without the knowledge of the citizens of Hawkins but also without the knowledge of the boy's father. You both want only one thing, to live together. And staying in Hawkins is not part of your plans.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Fluff, fem!reader, bad language, use of Y/N, you're surname is Williams, daddy issues, abuse, sigarettes, secret relationship.

𝐀/𝐍: Here it is! This is the first request, I really hope I exceeded @unamused-boss expectations Sorry for my English, this is not my native language. Please support new writers and reblog. Hope you enjoy! (DIVIDER NOT MINE)

In Hawkins the air was cold and this week the forecast said it would bring down the flood. You savored the air which made you smile. You never hated rain or gloomy weather, in fact you found them relaxing and perfect for drinking a nice cup of milk or hot chocolate, as if you were back in winter close to the Christmas period.

You moved some leaves as you crept further towards the house, a classic house and welcoming and tidy on the outside. You were in the garden, but hey, let's calm down, you're not going to rob! But you are looking for the window to the room of Billy Hargrove, your boyfriend. Yes exactly. You Y/N Williams, an ordinary student at Hawkins High, engaged to the big and strong Billy Hargrove! You didn't believe it either, to tell the truth. You were not popular, much less well-regarded by most of your classmates, you were silent and perhaps even mysterious, you were good at school, sure, but you had a temper that perhaps half the students at school envied, and that is precisely what triggered a connection in you and Billy the day you met.

In his eyes you were normal, nothing that Billy cared about, you were just like all the other girls, but he changed his mind as soon as you won a verbal battle with him, leaving him breathless. No one dared to challenge him and especially with such confidence, but you, you were the first girl to do so, and it left the students shocked for at least two weeks. You seemed like sworn enemies, after that spat neither of you tried to annoy the other so as not to start a war, but in reality you realized that in the end you weren't that far apart, in fact you could even say they were quite similar.

You remembered when you and Billy attended Mrs. Davis's classes, which were really boring. The boy wouldn't stop giving you glances and giggling every now and then, only to both get scolded and sent to the principal. The students were tired of this, you were seriously cat and dog! Unbearable! But what people didn't know was that both of you weren't teasing each other to cause anger or annoyance to the other, but it was totally the opposite, they were pure and true digs. At first you didn't notice, you thought it was normal, something for friends. But apparently this was not the case. From secret friends you have become secret lovers.

Wow...

You seriously didn't expect this...you had to be honest about this. After you both got together you saw a side of Billy you never thought you'd seen. From the obnoxious, arrogant, vulgar and popular boy he was, he had finally revealed himself: kind, loving, difficult and sweet.

In short, never judge a book by its cover, right? The same thing apparently goes for people.

But now you're wondering... why in secret? Why were you two secret friends and now secretly engaged?

This was because Billy had a great reputation at school and was afraid of being criticized by others. You felt very sorry for him and you understood it. In Hawkins High, gossip is the fruit of its existence and if there wasn't anyone to criticize or make fun of, what would the students of this fucking school do? Exact. Just nothing. This is why you understood that your school was perhaps the shittiest of all. They would torment not only Billy but you too. You showed such confidence and superiority towards Billy that day and now you are friends? In short, something that cannot be heard!

You have therefore decided to keep the matter in secret so as to be left alone.

As for the relationship, well, both of you were actually ready to no longer hide and face those dick faces, but you immediately backed out when you found out that Billy's father strictly forbade going out with you and doing anything. something more productive in his life. The boy had never told you about his family until that point and when he told you about his father you were horrified by it. His father was a violent and aggressive man, he hurt him while demanding respect from his son who he threatened or even beat if he disobeyed, a father that no one would like to have...

The night you and Billy got ready to go out on a date, he called you and canceled without telling you why. Then when you met and talked about it you became calm again and consoled him. Billy vented and it hurt, you couldn't know what it meant to live in that hell. For your boyfriend, however, it was fine, especially when he met you, for him you were an angel, one of the most beautiful and sweetest girls he had ever seen, for him, you were a divine salvation from his torment, and if he had to suffer all this to stay with you then he would have tolerated it.

Seriously, this guy turned out to be more amazing than you thought.

For his father you were just an adventure, a simple whore with whom Billy would be satisfied and therefore he ordered him to leave you alone and look for something to earn, since Billy recently left school.

In short...a beautiful but complicated relationship.

You arrived in front of his closed window and as soon as you saw his figure from behind while he was lifting some weights through the glass, you knocked and he turned around. He smiled at you showing his docile face and opened the door for you. Most of the time it was you who barged into his room to visit him, unlike him, other than part-time work, you had nothing to do.

“My bad girl barges into my room again, I should start worrying” He said teasingly as he helped you up. You smiled "Nah, you don't need it, I'm used to it by now" you both gave each other a kiss on the lips as a greeting. That afternoon, all members of Billy's family were out: Max was with his friends, Susan was shopping and his father was at work.

"How are you?" You asked as you eyed his weights. It was now a legitimate question to ask every time you saw him training. An outside observer might think he did it to maintain his beautiful physique, true. But he also does it to let off steam...Billy does nothing but lift weights to vent an enormous anger that he is holding back. He smiled sweetly at you "Good darling, don't worry. Training doesn't hurt me" with this the boy winked at you and moved a lock of hair from his face and then placed his palm on your cheek "And what about you? How is my girl?" He smiled one of his own and you couldn't help but giggle, he loved teasing you with these silly nicknames and you couldn't help but blush and flatter yourself.

"Very good, today I received my pay at work and I got an excellent grade in biology!" You said as you ran a hand down his chest. "But didn't you hate biology?" He said as he invited you to sit on his bed. His room was tidier than you remembered it from two years ago. Billy was messy, and let's say he put his things in plain sight, thank goodness that since he got engaged to you he started hiding inappropriate things to make you feel at ease.

You sat on his bed with your back against the beige wall of his room, he stood next to you.

"Yes, it's true, but I wanted to improve myself, I have to be good in all subjects to improve my future" You said taking his hand "Aren't you tired of all that studying?" Billy said taking a cigarette and placing it between his thin lips "To be honest yes, I really fucking can't stand the thought of opening another literature book or something" You laughed at the idea. Despite being a studious girl, you have never loved studying. So many things, so many poems, so many equations and bullshit like that, in short, enough! Too much! "But, you know, I'm doing it to do better in the future, so I'll have more job opportunities" Billy let out smoke from his mouth and you smelled the smell of tobacco in your nostrils "What would you like to do in the future? In short, it seems that you already know what you want to do with your life, sweet girl" he said looking at a fixed point "Actually, no, I don't know, there are many things and I couldn't decide" He seemed surprised by your answer but then it took him a while to answer you.

"Well there aren't many things you can find here in this shitty town, God, I wish I could get out of here" He finally said almost whispering as more smoke spread into the room. This statement of his made you think...

You never really thought about staying in Hawkins, the city, as welcoming as it was, was also a bad place that you really wanted to escape from, you don't like the people, much less the mayor who runs it. Thinking of wanting to move to have other opportunities and change your life seemed like an impossible dream. You looked at Billy and you looked at him "I share your thoughts, if it were up to me I would leave here too, maybe to New York, or I don't know, to Boston, there are many places outside of here where I would like to spend my life. Instead you Billy, where would you go?" He looked back at his fixed point in front of him. He remained silent for a while and then answered you with a smile "California...I would like to go back there" he said it with a note of sadness and your heart melted. You knew how much he wanted to return to California, after all it was one of the most beautiful places for him, because of his precious memories with his mother.

“Maybe then we would go together…” You said resting your head on his shoulder feeling his sweaty skin “Together?” He seemed paralyzed by your proposal and you nodded “That's impossible darling…” he gave a light chuckle but his tone didn't seem joking, it was as if he wished that proposal had come true. "Why do you think it's impossible?" He shook your hand as he placed his cigarette in the nearby ashtray "Because that's how it is. Look at us, I work as a lifeguard and earn little anyway, you on the other hand are still studying, moreover my father wouldn't allow me to go back to California, he says that he hates it and that neither Max nor I should go back, and also because he wouldn't approve of me going with you" True. He wasn't wrong and this made you stay silent for several minutes thinking about how to find a solution.

You knew it was absurd, in short, Billy was now an adult, if he wanted to leave and move somewhere else it wasn't his father's business, but by now the man seemed to have taken control of his life too and this had taken you by surprise. . The father wanted Billy, like Max, to stay close to them so as not to worry Susan, who unlike the man was worried about the two and certainly knowing that one of the two was too far away worried her, so much so that she asked her husband to order both him and Max to stay in Hawkins in the future. But that didn't mean you would have given up.

"You know, in California there are many chances of finding a job and someone like yours earns well there. Then if I managed to graduate here I could very well walk away with the money I earn from part-time work" He smiled "You planned the your life plan?" You looked at him with a grin "our life plan, you are part of my life, Billy" she immediately smiled so much that he blushed but shook his head "No. With me your future will only be turbulent and then as I said before, it's impossible"

"Nothing is impossible Billy. Together if we want we can do it, obviously if you want to do it" you raised your head and he took a deep breath and kissed you. You laughed in the sweet kiss "Of course I want" You smiled again "Only, my father worries me"

“Don't worry about him, I actually already have an idea for this” you smirked evilly as you stroked his golden locks. Billy looked at you for a while to then understand what was going on in your little head "My smart girl" He said as he approached hungry for another kiss, you laughed "Have I always been or am I wrong?" You both gave each other more kisses.

Exactly two more years passed. It was a rainy night. Midnight. The streets of Hawkins were deserted as the rain got heavier and heavier. A wonderful night, especially for the two of you. You had recently graduated and had saved money, and Billy had done the same thing with the little he earned.

You headed towards the boy's window only to see him land on the ground and take out his bags trying to make as little noise as possible. You on the other hand, had brought yours too and helped Billy by trying not to get him and his bags wet thanks to your umbrella. You gave each other a kiss while the adrenaline was rising. It was the big day and you were as anxious as you were excited. You both headed to the boy's car putting down your bags and stuff and got into the car.

“Are you sure Y/N?” He said holding the steering wheel tightly, you nodded "Yes, remember that together we can do it" you reassured him and he nodded happily. He seemed reborn, new and fresh, a different person. He was about to leave that old life full of suffering to start a new one with the love of his life, you and for you he would also trigger his father's wrath. In the meantime you took a cigarette and started lighting it with the lighter "Ok, together forever, darling" he told you and then put on his sunglasses, you laughed since the sun wasn't out, but he was ready to leave and to adjust to the place “California, we are coming” You said in a confident tone as smoke spread through the car.

[rengo-katze]

Smile Again - an IidaMei drabble

Okay but, imagine Tenya telling Mei to hop on his back and cling tightly to him, since he was gonna take her to an inventors' event that she was already very late for because of a mishap that morning with the device she was supposed to showcase.

(A/N: This was inspired by the song "Smile Again" by Rumble Fish [listen below]. Though, I didn't write about the whole Tenya + Mei running scene, you can imagine it when you listen to the song lololol. I'm a bit pressed on time due to work so I maybe lacking in the vocabulary department [I ran low on being a writer and an engineer tonight, I'm sorry really] and I was lazy to write the main prompt above hurr hurr. Anyways, hope this brightens someone's day still ksks.)

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There was a huge technical symposium where Mei is supposed to be competing against other high school support students to be awarded a sponsorship for a start up invention that they will propose then and there at the event. Being the most promising support course student in their sophomore year, she was chosen to be UA's representative and so she poured all her efforts and enthusiasm for this months before the competition.

As she was a friend of Tenya, Ochaco, and Izuku, class 2-A became aware of the upcoming event and offered their well-wishes; also trying to avoid giving her anymore additional work with their support items. Tenya, who was beginning to be especially close to her (and has also been hiding a crush on her for a long time now), visited her frequently at her workshop to help her test her ideas, from conception even up to it being a full-blown contraption.

He came to know her classmates as well when he was with her and realized that a lot of people there regarded her as a genius, a gifted girl for her age, and he can't help his crush on her from deepening. However, he also caught some whisperings about some people being envious or saying snide remarks about her being the teacher's (Power Loader) pet, and how she was short to being astounding; it was all a biased decision. He controlled himself not to confront those people because Mei needed him beside her and adding to the stressfulness of preparing for a competition is the last thing on his mind.

A week before D-day, they tested her newest baby, which was really a baby made just for him: it was a mechanism similar to that of an airplane's that you wear like a vest, that has a reverse thrust to help in braking the speed of heroes with quirks that make them speedy and lose control of that. It was of course intended no to only for him in the long run; people like Izuku, Katsuki, or even Shouto could use it when in battle.

When testing it, it worked perfectly, outstandingly, and safely, much to Tenya's liking. Even if there were midterms and practical exams coming up the next week, Tenya gave at least two hours of his every day that week to test with Mei. When they met, she often had a snack or a full meal with her (if she hasn't eaten lunch yet) that she bought from the cafeteria and she shared with Tenya to thank him for all his efforts. He wasn't expecting anything in return actually, rather than to help her reach her dream little by little, but at that time that her baby had exceeded the limit she thought was supposed to be the limit according to her calculations, Mei couldn't help but hug him back so tightly, and even gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before packing up and bidding their goodbyes. This left him unable to follow her back to the school building and instead, just stood there with a silly crooked smile on his face while his hand touched his cheek for a while. It wasn't when he saw Mei struggling a bit to carry the weight of her toolbox that he snapped out of it and offered to take it from her and walk her back to the workshop. She continued to be her enthusiastic self and didn't even mention anything about the kiss afterwards lol.

But then, at the morning of the symposium, when they were walking towards the workshop and talking about their presentation later that afternoon (he was coming with her as her demo person), they both noticed that the doors were ajar and that wasn't supposed to be, it was too early in the morning for any student to need to be there except for Mei herself. So she and Tenya hurried to the room, only to find Mei's work station in complete chaos: her tools were thrown in every direction, her blueprints (not even related to her competition) were ripped apart, and worst of all, her newest baby was dismantled in a not so graceful way as the vest had its tubes yanked out, its wires cut hurriedly, and the casing having multiple dents on it.

Mei was distraught. For the first time they were together, Tenya saw fear and panic in her eyes and after just a split second, she started crying. Ugly crying, in fact, as she suddenly got on her knees and a string of no's, why's, and my baby's was all she can scream. Tenya was also close to breaking down; all the stress from the previous months they've been developing this has all been for nothing?? But he collected himself, hugged Mei very tightly from behind, and told her that they can figure this out. That they can fix their baby up, that it wasn't over.

That they were still going to the symposium no matter what.

Mei looked at him as if he was just spouting nonsense, but Tenya just smiled reassuringly and softly, and he started to pick up the damaged vest and the tools.

"Mei, I know right now everything seems like a mess, and that it's far from possible for it to work. But I believe we can still make it. You know why? Because it's you. You're Hatsume Mei, the genius inventor who thinks of the most brilliant ideas as fast as she can build those ideas to life. That's you, Mei. So what do you say? Let's get to it."

Mei was speechless, this boy in front of her was making her believe in the impossible and most of all, fuelling her spirit as that crazy inventor who never gave up even when her inventions were literally exploding in the workshop back then. She always could save them, she always had. That was one of her strongest points.

"Okay, Tenya. Thank you, really. There's really more to that jacked-up nerd exterior you're sporting, isn't there?"

"Wha-- What are you saying, Me--"

"Oh yeah, if I'm going to fix this right now, how are we still going to make it in time to the venue? There's only 2 hours left before call time and we're at least a city away!"

She was surprised when she saw Tenya chuckle.

"Mei, I can take you there. What's the use of my quirk when I can't even take you somewhere you need to go to in an emergency?"

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Bonus content:

While working on fixing the vest, a boy from Mei's class walked towards the workshop, commenting on the huge mess that was there and how unlucky Mei was for having a break-in on the day of her competition. Tenya was quick to recognize him as one of the students who gave snide remarks about Mei, and everything instantly made sense.

"My oh my, whoever did this must've really been eyeing you for a long time now, Hatsume," he began. "But maybe you were so comfortable, so easygoing that you never thought your precious inventions would be targerted by an outsider-- WHA-- HEY--"

In a swift motion, Tenya's fist came in contact with the boy's face, sending him tumbling outside the workshop and stunned at what just happened.

"You're-- you're Hatsume's boyfriend, right?? I-I didn't notice you were there--" he sputtered, now holding his cheek anxiously.

Tenya paid no mind to his question, didn't even give him a chance to explain, and crouched to his level, a sharp and deadly glare in his dark blue eyes.

"You made her cry on her most important day.. Do you even know how much of her self she poured into this competition?"

The scared student tried to shrink back more to the wall that his back was against now.

"P-please, I... I didn't do it! It wasn't me-- you don't even have proof! She had it coming, that annoying bitch--!!"

"FUCK YOU."

And that last punch sent the kid to la la land. Tenya stood up, trying to calm his anger, rationalizing things and what else he needed to do. He'll deal with the consequences of injuring a fellow student in school grounds later; the competition comes first.

"Hey, Tenny, that's enough for now. You're getting your hands dirty for something far from important," Mei called him with a sigh from inside the workshop. "Thanks for standing up for me but he's not worth your time."

"I'm sorry, he was just severely in the wrong here. And I couldn't let that pass, after everything..." he tried to relax, sighing as well. "Do you have a sink I can use here?"

Upon glancing at his bloodied knuckles, Mei smiled worriedly at him.

"He's also not worth your detention."

[hazelhearts]

You Are In Love

Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader

summary: pauses, then says. you're my best friend. and you knew what it was. she is in love

content/warnings: angst, fluff, homophobia, anxiety

word count: 1.5k

note / request: my first robin fic. this is terrifying. i love it because it reminds me of me. i hope you all love it too <3

masterlist

Robin was looking at you. Again. She couldn't help it. Honestly, who could blame her? You were perfect in every way. You were kind, beautiful, extremely smart, and just overall the ideal girl. What was there not to love?

Robin had had a crush on you since you were in elementary school. She didn't realize it at first, she didn't even realize she was a lesbian at that time. The opinions regarding the LGBTQ community that are held by the large amount of Hawkins' residents pushed the thoughts deeper and deeper into her brain, willing her to ignore them, to be just like everyone else.

But in high school, she couldn't contain the thoughts anymore. She could feel her eyes drifting to you in every room. She could feel herself light up whenever your name was mentioned, automatically inserting herself into the conversation if she wasn't a part of it already. She was a little obsessed.

The problem was, she was positive you were straight. You had never really dated anyone throughout the years she's know you but she just thought you wanted to focus more on academics. You never even really looked in her direction. Why would you? She was the weird band kid that everyone tried not to look at, the one that just happened to be head over heels in love with you. You were the head of the student council, the straight A's student, the girl ever other girl wanted to be. The girl that couldn't be gay. Hawkins' pride and joy.

That made things all that much harder when you started working at Scoops Ahoy. You started about two weeks after her and Steve, flying through ever stage of the hiring process with no difficulty. You met every qualification, even exceeded some of them. She was in awe that one person could be so perfect. The more the learned about you, the deeper she fell.

You started to notice her little tells not even a week after you started. You had noticed them in school, but you had kept your suspicions to yourself in order to protect her from the ignorant assholes in this town.

You had come out to your parents when you were in middle school. They were extremely accepting, which you had had no doubt about. They were extreme activists and campaigned for all types of views that were looked down on in a town such as Hawkins in the 80s. That's why your parents had always preached the idea that people are people, opinions are opinions, and none are ever wrong or lesser than the others unless they are driven by hate. They had been your main supporters most of your life.

Yet, no matter how hard you tried to tune out the words, it wasn't always that easy. Words hurt. And, as far as you could tell, Robin's family didn't seem like a very accepting bunch. They had never been outright disrespectful towards the LGBTQ community, but you don't have to be blatantly rude to be offensive.

That's why you had continued to pretend you never noticed. Maybe Robin was just confused. Or you had the completely wrong idea altogether. Either way, it's too risky for you to pursue anything. So, you kept it platonic with a capital P. No matter how much you wish it could be different, things were better this way. Safer. Maybe, this way, you can shield her from the ugliness of the world. The ugliness you have consistently fallen victim to.

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Everything changed a few months after you started working at Scoops Ahoy. You, Robin, and Steve had all went out to celebrate the college acceptance letter you had just recently gotten in the mail. You had all gotten a little deeper in the celebration than you planned, staying out until nearly five o'clock in the morning when you all had a shift at eight.

You all started heading towards the car, extremely exhausted from a long work day and a very long night. Robin called shotgun, running to beat Steve to the door because he thought calling shotgun was stupid. She beat him, as always, and Steve reluctantly settled into the back seat as you took your spot as driver.

"Hey Y/N, do you mind if I stay with you tonight? My parents would kill me if they thought I was out this late. If they think I was with you, I'm covered. It's completely okay if not I totally understand...."

"Robin, it's cool. My parents love you. And, I don't really want my best friend to die." You sent her a reassuring smile, hoping to settle the nerves she obviously had. Strict parents and late nights can do that to a person.

"Hey, can I stay too?"

"In your dreams, Harrington." Steve slumped back into his seat, faking disappointment. He tried that bit every time.

The ride to Steve's only took about five minutes. You and Robin both quickly told him goodnight, hoping to leave before his parents came out. You rushed out of there as soon as he got into his window, content that the coast was clear.

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You and Robin rode about five minutes down the road in complete silence. Usually, silence between you two is pretty comfortable since you both aren't huge talkers. However, this silence felt tense and awkward. It felt like something was different somehow.

"Hey Y/N, I have to ask you something."

"Shoot." You didn't even take your eyes of the road, therefore missing the anxiety in Robin's expression.

"Are you really gonna go to that school?" This time you faced her the slightest bit, attempting to figure out where this was coming from.

"Um... I don't know yet. It's a great school, but it's really far from my parents. And, I don't know if I can just leave you and Steve to run Scoops Ahoy. The place might burn down!." Your attempt at alight-hearted joke in no way lightened the mood. The tension in the car was persistent to say the least.

"What's up Rob? You've seemed off all night. Now you're asking if I really want to take one of the best offers I could've ever received. The offer you have been insisting could be life-changing for me. Are you feeling okay?" Something in Robin snapped right then, sending a whole bunch of words out over the span of a few seconds.

"I don't want you to go to that stupid school, okay? You're my best friend. Well, actually more than that if I'm honest but that's besides the point. You can't leave me all alone with Steve. What am I supposed to do without..."

"Wait wait wait. What do you mean by more than that?" You cut her off. You didn't mean to. You knew that she hated when people did that to her, but you couldn't gloss over what she had just said.

"God, this is not how I imagined this. Not how I imagined this at all. I had it all planned out! A calm movie night, late night talks about that future..."

"Robin..."

"I like you, okay! I like you a lot. God, I might even love you. But you don't see it. I don't know if it's because you don't feel the same way or if it's just plain obliviousness, but I really like you Y/N. Like a lot a lot."

You had to take a moment to catch your breath. You had always liked Robin, ever since you first saw her in Ms. McKinney's class in the first grade. Sure those feelings didn't really develop into anything more than friendship until high school, but they've always been there.

"Oh my god, I've ruined everything! You probably hate me now. Oh my god. I blew it." You're quickly brought back down to earth by Robin's words, grateful for the opening she gave in order to breathe.

"Robin, you didn't ruin anything. I've liked you forever. I've liked you since I first laid eyes on you." Robin's eyes widen to such an extent that you're sure they're going to pop out of her head.

"Really?" You hate that her face looks so doubtful yet longing. You hate that a part of her thinks you would lie about something this big.

"Yes Robin, really. I think I might even love you too."

For the second time during this conversation, something in Robin snaps. She pulls you to her by your neck and connects your lips. Your body goes into shock, forgetting how to respond in this situation.

Robin pulls back, sensing your hesitation. She starts to formulate an apology, but it's then you that pulls her towards you and connects your lips, this time in full control. Your lips move together seamlessly, almost as if they were destined to be together. Almost as if you and Robin were destined to be together.

You both pull away for air, gasping from the intensity of the kiss. Robin looks towards you with her swollen lips and wide eyes, blushing fiercely. You send her a sly smirk, intent on making that look never leave her face.

You start the car without another word, rushing to your house as quickly as your car could go. You're probably speeding, but you honestly couldn't care less.

"You can feel it on the way home"

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@tolkienlockian

[beautifulsnake2162020]

Beautiful Anomaly (Part 3): Morpheus x FReader

(Gif by  11thstreetvigilante in this post: Karl Conveys His Warm Regards — Dream's a Dream @pirategamora (tumblr.com))

Morpheus x FemReader (present day, its a little hard to explain)

A couple of disclaimers:

1.) This is all based on the Netflix show and I have 0 background on the graphic novel it is based on (so don't expect it to be faithful);

2.) This is a fan work, the only benefit I derive from this is sharing it with the community.

We now come to part 3! I will admit that this might not be my best work 😅 Because I'm mainly setting up for Part 4. I am hoping I will manage to finish this story without exceeding Part 5 (Like maybe there's a Part 6 for the NSFW scenes because I know not everyone wants to read Smut so I separated it from the main story).

Like with Part 2 I will be pinning this so that there is due notice to the entire world (Aka action in rem hahaha sorry remedial law joke).

If it's your first time seeing this I encourage you to read it from the very beginning because some things might be confusing for you (especially in this chapter since I've brought some stuff back from Part 1). You can read part 1 here:

And you can read part 2 here:

I made it big so you have no choice but to notice it 😂

Taglist (if you want to be a part of the taglist just comment requesting so) : @winxschester @true-queen-of-mischief @laydreams @memento-mora @daydreamin1220 @kuchokitty @fate-huntress @igotanidea

BANG!

You awaken from the memory of your traumatic death from your last lifetime. It has been awhile since you've had a memory of yours play out in a dream. You're not sure what to make of it since you could barely remember any of the dreams you've had. But this dream, or rather this memory recently started to appear. Each time it appeared, it became more vivid.

It's almost as if the fates were trying to tell you something, while also tormenting your psyche like the sadists that they are. You aren't sure what they want from you, or if they were taunting your failure right back at you. Morpheus was still imprisoned, and you don't know what happened to Jessamy. A part of you wants to believe that she managed to escape. But all other parts of you upon reviewing what the memory has shown, it was more likely that like you she ended up dead. How you don't know, but with you dead she was definitely no longer concealed. If she didn't leave right away, she would definitely have gotten caught.

You didn't need to imagine what people could and would do to any animal they've caught that was causing them a huge inconvenience. You've had too many memories of moments that you couldn't look away from.

BANG!

Thunder strikes as the downpour of rain increases. It was rainy season in the tropical country you now call your home. Based on how strong the sounds of the downpour is, and approximately how the sky was dark enough to deceive you into thinking that you slept the whole day if it weren't for your wall clock and phone. It's about 8:30 in the morning, but because of the downpour your law school has declared that there are no classes for everyone's safety.

It was fortunate that your next class was still the day after tomorrow, allowing you some free time to think of anything other than what the legal definition of what an obligation is. You decide to send a message to a friend of yours who was a psychologist and who also had a scientific approach to interpreting your dreams. She's been doing this since high school. And you hope that she's online or at least she sees the message you've left her.

Hey, Nadia if you're free and mentally and emotionally available to give a dream analysis; I had a dream that has been recurring for some sleeps now. It gets pretty dark: I was stabbed to death multiple times and the last thing I felt was someone shooting me from behind? Well it was more vivid the last time I slept. This time I was able to see my killer's face and hair. He had on glasses and was blonde. He had a grin on his face that was so human and yet so inhuman. That must sound really weird, but its the best way I could describe it. You might be unsurprised by this, but I didn't think that committing murder would bring that much joy to anyone. If it was revenge for something I did, I'm not sure what it is. And if I'm going to die because somebody wanted revenge on me, I would at least like to know what it was before I pass.

Wondering what your dream analysis might make of this. Take care.

You didn't add that it was more of a memory of your past life. You didn't need her influenced by that fact. Maybe there was something hidden that you just weren't seeing. If it still didn't make sense to her (which you highly doubt since if given the chance she would psychoanalyze almost everything), then you would add it to your discussion. You press send, and hope that your Wi-Fi connection wasn't compromised. Even if the weather wants you to go back to sleep, you're scared to do so too soon.

BANG!

Thunder strikes the ground again. A little too close for comfort near your window sill.

This won't do.

You grab your yoga mat and set it on the floor. If anything happens, its rubber and would serve as an inductor if ever some lightning just so happens to suddenly enter indoors.

Maybe a yoga session by Sarah Beth Yoga would clear up your mind.

After you finish your session you see a message appear from someone you haven't heard from in awhile.

VF: Hello, I'm not sure if you're even awake now given our different time zones. But if you do see this and we're both online, I would really like to talk to you. I need your advice on something.

VF: Btw I hope you don't mind me changing my username.

You take a moment to briefly stretch and wipe of some of the sweat from your forehead before checking to see if he was online (he was), and before replying back.

Sure, just give me 30 minutes, then I'll vidcon you through messenger. I just finished yoga and need to freshen up.

You do your best to make yourself presentable. You unfurl your long black hair from it's fishtail braid and applied moisturizer for the sake of your skincare. Thanks to the braid, your hair has molded into what you call "controlled curls" which may still be prone to frizz because you live in a tropical climate near the equator with high humidity. But at least this way, it was much more elegant than just a chaotic mess of frizzy hair.

You briefly glance out the window to check if the rain is still strong. From the looks of it, it has lightened up enough to allow some brightness outside, and the downpour has been reduced. Good. This means the internet will be stronger.

You begin the call and a young man who was about the same age as you currently were, of Indian descent is on the screen. You couldn't help but smile as you see how much he has grown over time.

"Hello Jared."

"Hello father-um I mean mother."

"Jared my son, you know I don't mind you calling me father. That is what you called me when I conceived you in your first lifetime with your mother. And its just the two of us here. Is there something wrong with your reincarnated life?"

"No-nothing majorly wrong with my life so far - and I know you don't mind, but I want to respect your current pronouns." You see him take a breath as you see him anxious.

"What's the problem?"

"Do you...do you think its possible to regret being born?" Your eyes narrow in concern.

"Jared, what is this about?"

"Father...I'm in love. But I'm not allowed to love this person." Ah, so that's what this is about. You feel yourself relax a bit as your fears that your son from a previous lifetime was not contemplating suicide.

"And why aren't you allowed to love this person?"

"Well she's agnostic - it doesn't bother me at all - but my biological parents in this lifetime wants her to convert. But I don't want to force her into something she doesn't believe in. But my parents who has control over plenty of things in my life says its my duty to do so. Honestly father, I think they are making my life harder for rejecting the girl they wanted me to marry." He takes a breath before continuing on his rant about his love dilemma. You acquire some of the details, but that was just to supplement in making the situation clearer.

"I know its all arbitrary. I know it's all just a societal fiction and that it's not perfect-but I can't help but feel like I'm being forced to choose between the person I love and my duty as an Indian son born into a conservative family...father, I know you can't directly help me in my dilemma. And I know ultimately it is I who must make the decision. But was there ever a time you were also forced to make this type of decision? To choose between duty and love?" You can see the desperation on his face as he awaits what you have to say.

Fortunately for him, you have had experience in this.

Unfortunately, your internet connection began wavering.

But you have a solution that could possibly do more.

"I'll show you my memories. My internet is wavering right now so we will need to go there anyway. Close your eyes and relax then reach into the bond we share as parent and child. I shall see you there." He nods before turning off his end of the call. You go to your sofa and lie down on it, closing your eyes and relaxing yourself you find the bond you share with Jared among the part of your mind that contained the bonds you share with all your other children. In your mind's eye, those that are colored are children from previous lifetimes that are still alive. But as of now the bonds are either gray which means they have died; or some of the grey bonds have a colored glow to them. These are the ones that have been reincarnated, and Jared's bond is grey with a glowing color that is in between yellow and orange. Or at least that's the closest description you can come up with.

You reach out and mentally touch the bond and it brings you into a sprawling garden. Jared was in the center seated on the ground with his back hunched forward.

"Stand up Jared, its time I showed you some of my memories." You wave a hand changing the environment into a starry night in a beach.

"Are you going to show me how you fell in love with Morpheus?" You chuckle with a bittersweet tone.

"I know its hard to believe, but I've had other loves before I realized my feelings for Morpheus. What I'm about to show you is probably one of my if not the first actual romance I've had in the early days of humanity." You see your past form, a clearly female warrior bringing her weapons to a hidden cave in the beach.

"I was the leader of my tribe's warriors. Everyone was counting on me for plenty of things, but most of all they were counting on me to give them a victory of any kind." You see your past self peek in to see if there was a fire, fortunately there was. It means he was inside.

"The man I fell in love with was in the same position as mine. His name was Orkis, and after having fought enough times on the battlefield and almost always ending in a stalemate, we decided to approach an alternative tactic to resolving the conflict between both of our tribes." Beside the fire that warmed the cave was an attractive man with lean muscle encased in a broad frame. His black hair was straight and went past his shoulders and ended in the middle of his upper arm. His eyes didn't part from the flames, but the moment your past self's steps were heard, the tension from his body was released.

"You're late." His baritone voice said. Loud enough for you to hear, but soft enough that it was only you who could hear.

"I can't just leave the festivities too early. Everyone will suspect I am up to something."

"Tsch, you are up to something. Secretly meeting with the leader of your rival tribe."

"Oh come on, is that all I am to you?" Your past self goes closer to Orkis, laying down her weapons as a sign of goodwill. Once she was close enough, he grabbed her waist and placed you on his lap and looks into her eyes.

"Hildiko, please don't ask me that ever again. If I could marry you right now, I would. If I could lay you down here and ravish you till you are pregnant with my child, I would..." A look of understanding was shared between them.

She sighs.

"...but we can't. We may have plans but they are still so fragile." She presses her forehead against his. You remember how hurt you were, you hate remembering how painful this is...

But Jared needs to know this lesson.

"What if we eloped? Started our own tribe?"

"You don't mean that. You love your brother. You're one of the few people he trusts. And even though he is my rival leader, I respect him enough not to steal his commander and sister away from him." She buries herself in his embrace, upset but understanding that he has seen through her. You take a glance at Jared who has a confused look on his face.

"The context is that my brother is technically the chief of our tribe."

"Technically?"

"His legs were amputated to prevent an infection of gangrene from his last raid. Because of that injury he gave the martial side over to me, his then second in command while he ruled over none martial matters in the tribe. Politically this also solved any dispute or issue since the power is still kept within our family." You both turn back to the scene unfolding before you.

"Do you think it's going to be our last night together?"

"If not tonight then one of these nights. Neither your brother or my best friend is willing to change their minds. No matter how much we've used our influence on them." She sighs as she straightens her back against his chest. He rests his head at the crook of her neck and shoulder.

"You know what pains me?"

"What?"

"I actually understand where both of them are coming from. And if our places had been switched, I may even probably make similar choices."

"Its why you haven't left your place by your brother's side." You feel yourself tear up as you watch your past self struggle to keep her despair within herself.

"Sometimes I ask myself why does it have to be this way? Why do we need to fight each other? Why do we need to die to protect our way of life?" She begins to shed tears as she turns to look at the man she has fallen in love with.

"And then...both you and my inner voice remind me why...we're simply doing what we believe is right. None of us wants to be treated as less than what we are. And both our people are too stubborn to give any of that up." Orkis smiles sadly at her.

"We're too selfless to serve anything lesser than the greater good." He places her back into his chest.

"Even if it means that we will have to endure this heartbreak."

"Father I don't understand. Why couldn't the two of you have just gotten married and united everyone into one tribe?"

"It's not that simple. My tribe sees women as equals and it is the reason why I am even considered a martial leader. The tribe of Orkis is patriarchal and to add to that, they have a history of enslaving and sacrificing survivors of defeated rival tribes. Even if I were to marry Orkis as a political move, it wouldn't be seen as an equal partnership. It would be seen as willing surrender and subjugation even though that is not the case. The quality of life of my tribe would still decline since people from his tribe may use me. That's not everything of course since I've forgotten many of it by now. But the point is that even a marriage still wouldn't solve anything."

"So what happened?" With a wave of your hand, the scene shifts to a battlefield. Among the many dead bodies was your past self lying on top of Orkis.

You wish you could turn your eyes, but you for Jared's sake you need to watch this alongside him.

Your past self reluctantly positions a dagger above your beloved's heart. His hand guiding yours.

"Hildiko...come on...you can do it." She begins to cry; this was going to be the last time.

"Beloved, you need to do it. You have defeated my forces...this is the only thing left to do before you can claim victory over us-"

"Can't I say a few words first?" He gives a small nod. The end was near for him, and he of all people knows that her confidence is a special thing to have earned.

"Someone once told me that when desires are left unchecked they lead to despair. And yet when I sacrifice my own desires for desires that I know serves the greater good, I still encounter despair anyway." She caresses his face, savoring the last few moments he will be alive.

"I knew that the moment I realized I loved you more than I should. And yet you've always somehow inspired me to keep doing the right thing, even if we both knew it might lead to this."

"There are some things that are more important than a forbidden love like ours."

"...I know." She takes a breath before looking back at his eyes.

"Hildiko, why are you delaying the inevitable?"

"Just give me a few more moments." You hear some warriors that are coming your way. They still have some distance to run or walk but they will be here soon.

"Thank you, Orkis." You see her give him one last kiss on the lips before she stabs the dagger into his heart.

You remembered how clean the cut was.

He wasn't in pain for long. You made sure of that.

"What are you trying to tell me? That I should obey my parents?" The environment returns to the garden that you've seen when you first entered.

"That is something for you to decide. I made my choices based on what I thought was right at that time. And a part of me regrets not doing more to seduce him into having a child with me. But Jared, I would like to point out something." He turns to look at you.

"The circumstances when I made that decision is entirely different from yours. Back then, the freedom of my tribe was at stake, among other things. But you don't have to endure that burden...even if you may feel like you do. Take some time away from both your parents and the person you love. Perhaps that may enlighten you."

"I'm still confused father, aren't there lifetimes wherein you definitely chose love over duty? I recall you saying that there were lifetimes wherein you had both a wife and a husband."

"Yes I did. My love is for all whom I give it to. And looking at it now after revisiting the first love that got away...some of those lifetimes wherein I chose the alternative-especially if I had no burden on my shoulders-was me trying to not make the same choice again when it wasn't necessary."

You both hear someone vaguely call out to him.

"It seems that is all the advice I could give you now. Either way, I hope you end up happy my son."

"...Thank you, Father" The two of you embrace before you gently guide his consciousness out of the bond. Once his consciousness was on its way to physically waking, you make your own exit from the bond.

You awaken and a glance to your window shows that the rain is starting to end since now it's more of a shower. And yet somehow you showing your son those early distant memories left you feeling more emotional than before.

Then a presence enters the room.

"How may I be of service Despair?" You didn't need to glance towards her to know she was delighted by your current mental and emotional state.

"Why, I am just here to be of service to you. After all you are the one who still has some regrets about Orkis." Oh please. as if that wasn't the most blatant half-truth that you've ever heard.

"As if you aren't planning something with Desire and probably using me. I may not know how-" You give her a sharp disapproving look.

"-but its not going to end well for me or for others."

"Now hold on Life." She replies louder than usual. It's been awhile since anyone has called you by that name.

"Your emotions were the one who called to me. I don't need to be here to reap its rewards."

"And yet you are here anyway." She grins at you. By its own nature it makes you uncomfortable.

"There's something blocking those cries of despair within you."

"I placed that block there, even I couldn't go on living if I just remained in the misery of what could have been instead of actually being present in the moment."

"Then maybe while you're free today, maybe you could remove that mental block of yours and finally let out those cries of yours." She didn't bother to hide her excitement at even just the concept of you actually doing that.

"Something's up. And you and Desire want me to go insane with any outward expression of what I thought about my time with Orkis."

"Well what do you have to lose? And is it really so hard to imagine that Desire and I are also doing this so you could be happier?"

"YES! It's very hard for me to imagine that right now. If this was in one of my earlier lifetimes then maybe I could give you two the benefit of the doubt. But even that has it's limit."

"Oh stop denying yourself Life. Inside you know you need to experience such heartbreak. Especially since you are responsible for the death of Jessamy."

Wait

What?

"What do you mean?"

"Oh you didn't know" Her grin widens as she sees the shock to your face.

"Jessamy died trying to break the glass cage which imprisoned Dream. The moment you started losing consciousness, she went to work trying to break it from the side - right on front of him might I add - and she was shot from behind by Alex Burgess."

No

NO

"No, No, this can't be - you're lying! You must be lying!" Despair begins laughing and it made you more uneasy.

"I'm just the one who delivered the message to you in this lifetime. If you don't want to believe me then ask Death." You feel a pain in your chest as you feel tears begin to shed once again.

The bullet you felt from the back.

That wasn't for you.

You were already dying.

It was because of your bond with Jessamy that you felt her final moments and together you died.

"Yes...that's it Life...release your despair for Jessamy." You feel her go nearer to you as you feel yourself become even more miserable.

Would she have still been alive if you had waited for more time?

Would she hate you for not being able to protect her?

"You fell in love with Orkis because both of you were too selfless to achieve your own desires. Both of you would do what you thought was right. And what happened now hmm?" Some memories from your past lives quickly flash through your mind.

Times when you chose to become hedonistic and as a result, those who were close to you hated you or became envious of you.

Times when you chose to become selfish and the world ended up bringing you into despair anyway.

Despair, it lead there one way or the other.

It was unavoidable.

And you feel yourself crying out more and more.

"That's it Life... Those doubts that you have in your head... Those endless possibilities of what you could have done something differently...All those regrets...Let it feed your despair" You feel her satisfied with what she has made you do.

"You and other beings despair over the desires you can't have. Why not release the mental block in your mind? Release it while you are open to your emotions now."

"What...good...will that do me?" You ask in between sobs.

"Because once you have fueled me with the despair you have within you, for the choices you've made so far... you could finally feed your own selfish desires."

And then you woke up from your own self-pity.

So that's why they want you to remove your mental block.

Without the mental block you have placed on some memories and things about yourself, life would be more chaotic than it already was. Allowing the main fuels of life onwards to be more primal, more ruthless than it already was.

Despair and Desire would have more power.

But then again, you doubt that they know that there's more to life than that. It's why you fell in love with Orkis, even though your love did not produce a child. If life was only about an endless chain of self-pity and unhindered selfish desires then you lose the beauty and nuance of the bonds formed and shared.

The beauty in the little things like waking up to your favorite meal.

The beauty in achievements finally made after a long journey.

The beauty in the community that offers the social bonds that we crave for.

The beauty to dream of something better for yourself and for the world.

Would these still exist if you removed your mental blocks? Perhaps. But it would also be overshadowed by the paradigm that Desire and Despair have in mind if left unchecked and unbalanced by other things.

You calm yourself down and you notice that Despair was still there. But this time she wasn't as happy as she was earlier.

So, she has noticed that you've connected the dots too.

"I will admit, you've done a good job in almost convincing me to do something I will definitely regret later had I only listened to you." You grab a tissue nearby as you wipe away any remaining tears as you glare at her direction.

"I am well aware of the choices I've made. Do I regret some of them? Perhaps. And some people would choose to wallow in self-pity blinded by their past mistakes, hindering them from what they could have become." You stand up with your back straightened and your eyes narrowed.

It's about time to remind the twins about a few things.

"You have definitely made your points. And they are true, but not entirely. You and Desire seem to have forgotten that beings have the ability to choose not to pursuit life simply based on despair and desire." You feel yourself smirking as you see unease creep into her face.

"If the two of you were the only things that life is about - or that life should be about - then I wouldn't be this complicated in the first place. Yes, you two are near inevitable parts of life, but you are not the only ones that matter. Any being with the capacity to dream has the agency to choose what stories to tell themselves and how they should act upon it." You walk towards her, this time you feel your own rage and power fuels each step you make. And her body makes it way backwards in response.

"This, Despair dear, is why Dream is your older sibling. Born from the first subconscious thoughts I've made. And formed stories based on the stories I formed in the waking world as I lived my life. Which stories I chose to tell myself and which ones I continue believe in also resulted in yours and Desire's births. You two are only parts making up a whole of what beings experience in their lifetimes. Including your own. Take some time to remind this to Desire as you tell them of your failed attempt at convincing me to tear down all of my mental walls." You see her prepare to leave. If you were being honest with yourself you could have forced her out of there.

But a part of you wanted some sort of petty revenge for what she and Desire had almost made you do. You were still pissed off.

"Those mental blocks are there not simply because I don't want to visit those memories. As you've seen, I could visit them anytime, and have just done so with my son. Those boundaries are there to allow me to actually live. If all I did was contemplate about what could have been, then I couldn't actually live out what's happening in the moment. And if that were the case, then I wouldn't be fulfilling my duties. Without them I may have just simply become paralyzed and insane at replaying the same story over and over again...much like how you are stuck in the same story of your jealousy for me." To your satisfaction she reacts with unease even though she tried to control it on front of you.

"I'm-I'm not stuck. You're making things up now to escape your feelings."

"Oh I am very well aware of my feelings. I am empowered by the conscious mind remember? That includes yours, and your hidden jealousy at how in your flattering opinion, I am one of the few beings that actually looks good in the Crocs classic clog and your own insecurity at not being able to measure up to me. It's all about balancing your outfit Despair dear. Ah yes, balance, a concept that you and your twin seem to not fully understand." She abruptly leads. Pride severely wounded as she was fed with some little despair of her own.

That'll teach them for awhile.

It's time to do some actual work for awhile. Especially when you're trying to take a break from matters concerning Endless beings. Later just after you finish your dinner you receive a message from Nadia.

Nadia: A recurring dream may point to a memory. And it is common for victims to show signs of trauma. You say that this is a recent dream? Perhaps, it could be something unresolved deep within your subconscious. Trying to tell you to confront the source of your trauma (either recent or past trauma). The fact that this time you were able to make out details of your perpetrator may indicate that your subconscious is showing you that you know the source of your trauma that has lay untreated. That's so far what I could pick up from what you've told me.

Unresolved trauma. That seems to be the running theme for today.

You grab a candle from your stash. You aren't certain if what Despair told you was the entire truth about Jessamy, you were certain that your fears were confirmed.

It wasn't that Jessamy was never going to die. All things have an eventual end. It was that she died while trusting you to help her free Morpheus.

She had died in vain.

And you're not sure if Morpheus...if he would even speak to you again for your failure. A part of you hopes that at the very least he would tell you to never speak to him again. His anger would be easier over and dealt with so you wouldn't have to spend the rest of your relatively immortal life wondering.

A part of you is hoping to at least have the chance to apologize. He has every right to hate you, but you at least want to state your side.

With the candle lighted on your normally cluttered desk. You bow your head as you say a brief mental prayer for Jessamy. To whom, you're not sure anymore. Maybe to any God or being who governs over the souls of ravens. She deserved eternal rest. Her reward for dying doing what she believed to be right.

And before you knew it, you found yourself crying. This time in grief for Jessamy whom you knew was gone.

Grief which lead to the first time in awhile to a dreamless sleep.

It wasn't long before Death finally made a social visit to you. You thought the doorbell was your online order delivering the latest BYS eye cosmetics to your doorstep. You were rushing to get the cash you had prepared for this moment only to see a familiar face amused by your rush towards the door.

"I'm sorry I'm not your latest Shopee Mall order, but if its any compensation; I now understand why Despair was so jealous of your fashion sense in this lifetime."

"Oh come on in Death, there's a reason why the living room exists." You roll your eyes but you also couldn't hide the smile sneaking in your expression.

"Out of curiosity, was that a new acquisition that you've worn out by your almost endless walking in your apartment?" Her eyes were directed at the pair of baby blue crocs clogs on your feet.

"No. My father bought these back in around 2006 or 2007 when he was on a business trip to Singapore. Before leaving my mom drew an outline of my feet and cut it out for him to bring. And regardless of what everyone else thinks I refuse to stop wearing them. They still fit me and they still work. Not everyone may like how they look, but I'm one of the few who genuinely love them."

"As you are with all things you consider priceless valuables." She settles in the couch wherein you finally notice what type of bracelets she was wearing.

"You're copying me!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I let the Lapis Lazuli bracelets go because they were in vogue during the Eastern Roman Empire and I was male back then so I had to live vicariously through you. But those-" you point to the two bracelets on her wrist.

"Are deliberate choices that I first showed off to you." You show off the bracelets you were wearing on your left wrist.

"Hmm and how do you know it's not just mere coincidence?" She raises an eyebrow, daring you to respond.

Oh come on. You weren't born yesterday.

"Because I can't think of why you would choose to wear bracelets that are made of Kunzite and Topaz beads other than me wearing them to show my love for Kunzite and Sailor Venus as a couple." A moment of silence followed before she resigned and leaned back at her seat.

"Okay, okay, you caught me. It's also to show my solidarity with you."

"There's more to it than that isn't there? Not to be judgmental but those two brightly colored bracelets aren't going well together with the rest of your casual goth outfit." Her expression slowly becomes a little more serious. It was still a pleasant one, but you could sense there was some news that may affect you.

"Are you sure you're okay? Revisiting those old memories with your first memorable romance must have brought up some feelings."

"Not you too"

"I'm just checking in. Orkis was one of your first memorable loves. And I can say he has had quite an impact on you till now whether you want to admit it or not."

"Death...doesn't all love, whether it's romantic or otherwise, impact a being one way or the other? You've said it yourself, just because they are gone, doesn't mean I've stopped loving them. Orkis wasn't the only love of mine who was 'the one who got away' but the time we did share was still important. And over time that value has grown." Her expression is that of contemplative understanding.

"Is this why you love the relationship between Kunzite and Venus?"

"Yes, and before you say anything I know I'm predictable." She raised her hands in surrender. As if saying she wasn't trying to say anything, but her eyes say otherwise.

"Both of them were in the same position of being leaders of their respective groups to guard the Prince Endymion of the Earth and Princess Serenity of the Moon. Both of them are serious about their duties. They share an understanding that if things were to go wrong, they would pick the sides of their lieges without any question...this may not all be canon. I know that Naoko Takeuchi wasn't given the time to truly explore their relationship. And the crumbs that we've been shown in Code name: Sailor V are simply prompts to fuel headcanons...but there is something familiar in the way that her story ends before meeting with the rest of the Inner Senshi." You take a sip of water and a deep breath before continuing.

"Throughout Code name: Sailor V Aino Minako had conflicting feelings about being an ordinary girl who dreams of one day being a pop idol and her call towards serving Princess Serenity. And all this time, Phantom Ace had played with her feelings-probably because he too was conflicted-and as luna-whiskers have said on a tumblr post; it was when she began to actually act like Sailor Venus in her past life that he simultaneously fell in love with her and experienced heartbreak." Your back straightens as you meet Death's eyes. Now is not the time for any doubts or ambiguities when it came to your feelings on this matter.

"That is how I feel about Orkis; the values that he had which made me fall in love with him is also what caused me heartbreak...and to become better than I was before. Unlike Phantom Ace I'm not bitter about it. I'm thankful that I had that love no matter how short it was. It's what reminds me that there are more important things than just selfish desire and despair. And while I may not be cursed to always choose duty over love - my own history could tell you otherwise of my selfish acts - sometimes I feel that the freedom of all life to make their own mistakes and achievements...is worth more than the post-coital bliss of a tryst or a romantic moment in a fair midday weather."

"And yet you have also experienced why sometimes people choose to be selfish."

"I never said I was immune to selfishness. My daughter Melike whom you've helped me give birth to was a product of such selfishness."

"My point is that out of all the anthropomorphic beings, you out of all of us have more insight and nuanced about these things. It is the nature of your function; to live life. And you've said it before, it is all about balance."

"I know, the extreme of one has dire consequences. And that's not even considering that life and the entire world is more nuanced than the mortal mind could comprehend...That's why I still fondly love Orkis. I hope he at least gets his rest after what we've had to endure in that lifetime. Had it not been for him, I think I would have been more susceptible to the whims of Desire and Despair."

"How about to the whims of Dream?" She has a knowing look that you do all that you can to resist from showing your annoyance.

"Morpheus is a storyteller. He governs the subconscious. I'd like to believe that if he was free from his imprisonment, his whims would affect my life and the lives of others the way he has always done. I don't think any change would come from that." You take another drink of your water.

And like many friends, that's when she tells you the news.

"He's free now."

You spit out the water that was in your mouth.

"What?"

"Ugh hand me a tissue please."

"That's what you get for your timing."

"I was curious if it would work on you. And I tried to dodge it."

"Serves you right." You place a box of tissue at the center of your table as you both wipe off the remnants of your reaction.

"How?"

"He broke himself free."

"Someone fell asleep in his presence?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself and summon him when you sleep?"

"No" You shake your head fervently.

"After my failure in my last lifetime, I highly doubt he wants to see me again."

"Huh, why? Because you weren't able to rescue him?"

"Jessamy died because of me." It comes out a little more harshly than you intended. But Death at least doesn't take notice and her expression becomes a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"That wasn't your fault. And if you want to be really technical about it, she died because of him and Alex Burgess too."

"She was a dear friend of his and I failed to protect her. Why would he even talk to me in the first place?"

"Okay that's it." She stands up and walks on front of you.

"First off, you were his friend too, much longer before Jessamy even existed; Secondly, Jessamy would've attempted to help him and would've been a lot more reckless with it had she done so alone; and Finally, you, Life, were there. I may not know how he personally feels, but knowing him there is no way he would hold you in contempt."

"And if he does and it turns out he never wants to see me again unless its for professional concerns?"

"Agh-look if you want to know and settle this so you can finally move on, then summon him in your dreams."

"The last time we've talked in my dreams my feelings were hurt."

"That was plenty of lifetimes ago. And trust me, from what I've seen before he made his long overdue meeting with Hob Gadling, he has started to change. And from what I remember he left you alone upon your request the last time you two met in your dreams."

"Still-I don't feel ready for that yet." She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow.

"He's not going to come unless you call him."

"Thank you, Death. But I'm not ready yet. Not now at least." At that moment, you both hear the doorbell ring. Your delivery has finally arrived.

"Look, the important thing is that he is starting to change. He has asked me how I cope and connect with humanity. He has been studying me intently as I do my work. He's starting to make a serious effort with it now." You turn back to her as you go back inside with a package in your hands.

"I need some time to process what I've learnt today." You see her sigh. Clearly this wasn't the result she wanted.

"Food for your thoughts before I leave. Maybe you thought you've found your Kunzite and have resigned to a fate like Sailor Venus. But maybe the answer was to be with someone who doesn't make you choose between your duty and love. Like what you've said to Despair, it's all about balance."

And she left.

So he was out.

Your emotions were mixed and sometimes conflicting. On one hand you were relieved that he finally was free and that you don't have to worry about him anymore. On the other hand, now that he was free and given the last time you were with him was when you died you feel reluctant in even contacting him. On one hand maybe he can give you insight on the recurring memory giving you nightmares. But on the other hand why would he bother helping you when you failed to help him?

These were the thoughts that dwelled in your mind as you took your time reflecting and healing. You've lately had semi-trouble getting to sleep which involved you searching up youtubers with calming voices and that had videos that were at least 20 minutes long to get you to become drowsy. Sleep podcast was really good. Sometimes you would put on one of illuminaughtii's videos since if you were drowsy her voice was really good in drowning out all other noise while not being too distracting. Asmr videos gave you a special kind of tingle that was too distracting for actual deep sleep.

As you drifted to sleep and allowed your subconscious to take over. Sometimes some words would linger that you vaguely remember.

Deep

Sacrifice

Shown

Moved

Change

Given how you tended to have a wild imagination anyways, a part of you wondered if it was just some remnants from your "Drift to sleep" videos that your brain just so happened to latch on to. You didn't think much of it. The human brain eagerly searches for patterns it could find in nature. It's what it was designed to do.

Even though sometimes words were simply what they are. No hidden message from the universe. Some words were more memorable to your brain and these just so happen to be some of them.

It wasn't until much later when after a family dinner and your parents brought you back to your solitary apartment that you've found an unexpected visitor sitting on your couch.

"Morpheus" He makes a move to stand.

"I'm here"

"...Yes you are." You place your handbag on a nearby wall hanger before turning back to him.

"I haven't called you."

"I've decided to come to you. You've said we have some things to discuss once I'm free of my imprisonment. And based on recent events a part of me thinks that you if I had just kept waiting for your call, you might either never use it or you may someday forget to."

"What made you think that?" He moves closer to you. Each step held a confidence that felt familiar and yet new to you.

"Because unlike Calliope, you aren't imprisoned. You could end this lifetime not even talking to me. Which is something that I could no longer bear."

"Then why here? In the waking world where my domain is, why come here? You could have easily just came into my dreams wherein I wouldn't have the power to stop you." He now stands before you. Close enough that you can feel some semblance of his breath, but far enough that you can feel your personal space is still present.

"So that you wouldn't think its just me playing with your mind. Or that its your own mind tricking you into imagining what I want to tell you." You nod. That's all you could do. One of the disadvantages of being in the waking world is that you couldn't just simply wake up and escape from it.

But if you were going to have this conversation you might as well get it over with.

Just like the last time you've talked face-to-face, you sit across each other with a coffee table in between the two of you. But this time no food or beverages were present. It was in the midst of night in the waking world, and somewhere either nearing to or just past midnight.

"I'm sorry" The two of you say at the same time. And from his expression, he was just as startled as you are.

"Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to apologize for."

"It's because of me that Jessamy died. And if you never want to speak to me again-"

"How could you think that? Have you not recalled all of your memories? It's not your fault that she died no matter how painful it is for the both of us."

"But we failed you - I failed you - you trusted me with her and yet she and I died at the same time. And we didn't even manage to set you free." He becomes increasingly astonished. You refuse to delude yourself into thinking that had it been a lighter subject perhaps he would have smiled. A small smile, but nevertheless a smile.

"You didn't fail me or Jessamy. Had you refused to help her she might have been more reckless than she would have been. And she might have been dead sooner than either of us would have liked."

"Still, being imprisoned for an entire century could not have been easy on you." He closed his eyes as if to restrain the painful memories associated with his experiences.

"It was torture."

"Which is why I'm surprised why you aren't angry at me. Maybe I should have just sneaked in and died sleeping within your presence."

"How-How could you undervalue yourself so?" His look shook his head and looked at you incredulously.

"Out of everyone who could have came to my aid, it was only you and Jessamy who did so. You were one of the last ones I would have thought who would, since our last meeting before then was..."

"I know...I was really upset with you."

"Which is why indirectly I've seen how you have truly done your best to not only free me, but to also keep Jessamy safe." You take a breath as you momentarily close your eyes.

"That doesn't change the fact that she would have been alive if I was the only one who -"

"Don't" His tone was semi-commanding. Not enough to be a direct order, but nevertheless there was authority in his voice.

"That was the one plan that I least favored. I never wanted to see you die, even though I knew it was part of your functions and that it was necessary for life to continue. It was painful the first time I saw you die not long after you've lost Orkis, and I knew I didn't want to see you go through with it again. Even if it was for my sake."

"Is that why both you and Death were there?"

"As you began to enter into the dreaming, you were stuck and began to flicker in and out. I decided to go to the waking world to see what might have been the cause. And in your sleep, assassins were killing you, and Death was simply waiting for you." Your eyes widen at this new information.

"I couldn't bear to see you suffer for long, at that point I thought the nightmares I've created were sufficient to frighten even the most stoic of mortals. But to see you being stabbed while gagged and blindfolded was just so painful for me; and so I asked my sister if I could give you a peaceful sleep since you were already in the dreaming." Realization dawns on you.

"And she allowed it."

"She did."

"Is this why she escorted me from the dreaming?"

"Yes, and I knew at that point that I couldn't see you die on front of me. Not again."

A moment of silence hangs in the air.

"Then when the Corinthian killed me..."

"It was worse. Unlike the first time I could feel your pain this time. And..." He momentarily bows his head.

"It was my own creation that killed you."

"Morpheus" Oh no, you knew where this was going. He didn't need to say it.

"You're not responsible for how your creations think. If that were the case then I wouldn't have had any arguments with my own children every now and then." From what you can see, the corner of his lips instinctively moved up.

"Lucienne told me something similar recently. When we were dealing with the Vortex." You feel anxiety rising in your heart.

"There's a vortex?"

"Don't worry, both it and the Corinthian has been dealt with." He tells you in a comforting tone.

"How come I wasn't pulled towards it?"

"You very rarely get involved when there is a vortex. It is mainly the Endless who do get involved most of the time."

"That doesn't mean I don't want to help. Especially since it potentially involves the eradication of all current life in this world and universe."

"It was not your battle to fight. The fates or whomever is responsible for assigning you your circumstances had deliberately placed you in a location that is far away from the conflict." No matter how comforting his tone was it still feels like you were left out of a problem that you may have helped in.

"Where did this happen exactly?"

"Florida, USA"

"Oh...you may be right. We're 12 hours ahead more or less." Briefly you recall something that he had just said.

"You say that the Corinthian has been dealt with? How?"

"He was manipulating the powers of the vortex for his own personal means. He inspired an entire generation of serial killers who sought joy in killing people." Blood drains from your face and a part of you feels that you are getting pale.

"Oh my."

"But I managed to reabsorb him. I hope to improve his creation the next time I find time to work on him." You feel yourself sigh in relief. At least that was dealt with. The air around you both had become so dour that you decide to lighten the mood a little.

"Is it strange that I feel upset that I wasn't allowed to punch him in the balls before then?" You see him make a small smile as his eyes gaze back at yours. But then his expression turns back to remorse.

"I am sorry for hurting you. Especially during our last conversation in your dreams." He stands up and slowly goes to your side.

"You've said that last time that unless I have an answer for you about why I didn't ask you first before going to Hob to learn about humanity...I should leave you alone." You feel your heart breaking and your eyes couldn't help but start to water a little bit.

"Morpheus that was in the past. I don't hate you anymore."

"Life...please allow me to make amends." This was the first time in a long time since he called you that. He normally sticks to calling whatever birth name you were given with the understanding that it's just you in a different form.

"I won't excuse myself for what I have done. You're right, I have no good reason not to talk to you when among all the beings personified, you out of everyone is the most tied with humanity. The rest of us Endless only have glimpses of what it could be like to be a part of humanity. But you actually live with them, know the nuances that I have just learned that I was ignorant of. While they are indeed mortal, they have their own wisdom which I am now trying to learn." He pauses briefly to gather his thoughts.

"And you were right, Hob is only one perspective...Will you help me learn more?"

Ba dum

Ba dum

This was unexpected. Never in eons have you thought he would ask this kind of request from you.

"Morpheus, I must warn you that even I don't know everything there is to life. My past lifetimes...sometimes they are books in a mental library that I have."

"That's more than fine. I want to know more."

"Listen, I don't know what you've experienced so far. But based on what you're doing, you have gained so much insight from your experience. Which is why if you want to know more, you will need to visit the waking world much more often. And if you need some clarification, I could tell you what I think." He nods but you can tell from the rest of his body that it wasn't the arrangement he was hoping for.

"I'm not asking you to neglect your duties in the dreaming, but I think frequent visits to the waking world every now and then would be instrumental to your education. And no, books cannot be a sufficient replacement for experience. They are a great supplement, yes, but they shouldn't be treated as a replacement for actual experience when possible."

"You expect me to just randomly observe humans in the waking world when I have just asked that you guide me?"

"Well unlike the other relatively immortal beings, I have a mortal life to live and law school to study for and graduate from. I'm not always available to your whims." He raises an eyebrow at you. Not in disbelief, but more of a reaction.

"And what if a large part of those visits would be visits to you? When you are free of course." Hmm that could work.

However

"If that's the case then we'll need to make up a story for you and how we came to know each other. Also no offense but your current appearance is going to make you stand out as some Caucasian foreigner here. I may not mind it, but you may want to adapt a form that would blend in well with everyone else. Maybe someone who is mestizo? That's mixed blood by the way. I'm considered a Chinese Mestiza because of my mother's side-"

"Easily solved, but to you I shall appear as I am." You nod and you briefly glance at the window and notice the sky slowly lightening up. Well it's a good thing that it was a national holiday and there was no classes for you to attend to.

"You say that I'm not a failure. How am I not?" This was the first time you've seen him give you a genuine smile.

"Where do I begin? You have kept me company during my confinement. I missed hearing you after your death. I missed listening to you think of ideas on how to help me escape. I missed you getting worried for both me and Jessamy but for some reason you've always placed yourself last. I even missed hearing about your thoughts outside of rescuing me. Such as how the bastardized Indian restaurant near the Inn was only a success because nobody has had genuine Indian cuisine. When you were gone, it was then that I realized how alone I was. It was your presence and your random observations that made being imprisoned much more bearable than I realized. Even when Roderick Burgess died soon after your final moments, somehow I suffered more having felt both you and Jessamy die." The room starts to light up as the sun slowly rises and the yellow hues begin entering from the windows.

"If you are looking for a more tactical answer, then you also provided me with valuable information that was instrumental to my escape and provided me a glimmer of hope for the rest of my imprisonment."

"And what was that?"

"The magical barriers in the minds of the occultist members. You've correctly deduced that this is what is protecting their subconscious from me, thus preventing me from entering the Dreaming even if they were to be asleep in my presence. One of the occultists have accidentally done so but when I even attempted to do so, it blocked me right away. I had to endure for a long time until they had decided to give me guards that didn't have the magical barriers." You feel your eyes widen an your mouth instinctively opens.

"You waited till the remaining occultists have died out and for ordinary people to be the ones guarding you."

"It also helped that Alex Burgess has accidentally broken the ritual circle containing me with his wheel chair. After that, all I had to do was wait for one of my guards to fall asleep. The moment I felt the subconscious act up, I immediately pulled him in and tricked him into breaking the glass." It was only then that you've noticed that he was a lot closer than you expected him to be. In your periphery, you notice that the room is now filled with natural early morning light.

"I did not expect that piece of information to have been so helpful. It seemed such an annoying obstacle when I was trying to make escape plans." He gives you a tender look. One that you almost don't recognize.

And yet he's here giving it to you now.

"Don't you see how you are the reason for my hope? You helped set me free. You managed to keep Jessamy safe for as long as you can. And when you had no reason to, you chose to help me, even if the only help you had was myself and Jessamy … why would I hate you?"

You didn't have an answer. And looking into his eyes, you want to believe that there may be a chance …

… but you have been burnt before. But this time, maybe instead of killing that hope, you can at least temper it with some realistic expectations.

Before you can reply and before he could add more, your phone vibrates.

You can check that later.

But it is time you've gotten some sleep.

"Thank you, for that insight. I didn't realize that's how you saw me."

"Those are facts." You stand up to stretch and allow movement back into your muscles. As much as you don't want to be rude to Morpheus, you couldn't help but be curious to what kind of message you've received.

A grin creeps into your face with a matching squeal.

Emira: Hey mom, it's me Melike. I'm officially a freshman in our Law School! So far the homework's been okay, but I'm hoping we could meet up. I screwed up my first recitations and I don't know my way around yet. When are you free? Also, I really loved your deep blue blazer.

"Something the matter?" You turn towards him not bothering to hide a smile.

"Not really. Melike, one of my children who has a reincarnation in this lifetime is now officially one of my schoolmates. She's the sultan's daughter that I died giving birth to. Her name in this time is Emira and she's just 2 years younger than me this time around."

"You spoke with her through your bond?"

"Yes, ever since she has started learning magic during puberty we've been talking. By any chance are you free later?"

"Are you sure you want me around?" He asks with a concerned look.

"Think of this as your first learning life experience with me. Meeting new people. If she's free for dinner then I'll sleep first then we'll meet up with her." His expression becomes tender and gentle.

"Very well then."

You then proceed to make arrangements to meet her for dinner. It turns out she was staying up all night too doing the last of her binging while she still can and was going to take a rest during the morning.

"Allow me to help you sleep. You've been having problems going to sleep lately."

"Thank you Morpheus, but I'd rather not be dependent on the sand. But I could think of another way you could help?" After taking a moment to change into your sleepwear and settling in your bed, Morpheus turns back towards you after you permit him so.

"Then how may I be of service?"

"Simple." You lie down and start to settle yourself in.

"Tell me a boring story. Or anything really, just make sure I actually lose consciousness."

"Hmm, very well."

You don't know if he told you a story or was just saying random words and phrases, but being the King of Dreams he made sure that you now had a good rest.

Author's Notes: Hey everyone so I hope the ending here makes up for Part 2's traumatic ending. Some notes from me:

1.) Orkis is a name I made up. It's a pun on "Or Kiss" because for a long time I thought the meme "Now Kiss" was actually "Or Kiss". Hildiko is just Ildiko Breckl from Witcher lore with an H to make it not obvious 😅;

2.) Yes I essentially wrote down why I ship Kunzite and Sailor Venus and somehow weaved it into the story. If you do happen to have some time, read Codename: Sailor V it's a prequel to the Sailor Moon manga, and honestly its one of the best spin-off stories from Naoko Takeuchi. Tumblr user luna-whiskers does an excellent analysis on Phantom Ace's role in the development of Sailor Venus, leader of the Sailor Senshi;

3.) I added Orkis as a first love because I don't want to give readers the delusion that "It has always been Morpheus". Much like how Morpheus has had other loves such as Nada and Calliope, Life also has had other very influential loves;

4.) Yes, I essentially placed Life in an idealized form of what I actually look like (see tumblr avatar for reference);

5.) Yes I also placed my biased love for Crocs and BYS cosmetics;

6.) Jared is the name he has when Life was his parent. Like his sister Emira, he goes by a different name currently. But because of the distance and he'll probably more of a cyber presence, its not relevant to know his current name;

7.) The pronunciation for Melike is Meh-lee-keh (According to the Turkish one at least). In Turkish it means Queen and Emira means Princess.

Hope you all enjoyed it :D

[sugawaraxo]

“are you sure?”

warnings: smut

characters: koshi sugawara, keiji akaashi

request: Hiii! I just found your blog and I just want to say that I love it so much!! I thinking maybe you could write some headcanons of sugawara and akaashi w/ a shy and very inexperienced s/o (nsfw please, if you’re comfortable with writing that!!) Thank you so much! (//∇//)

a/n: i may have went a lil overboard with suga but i’m sorry, i just love him ok lmao

sugawara

- suga is your first everything

- your first boyfriend. your first kiss. your first love. and now, your first time

- it’s something you and him have been silently anticipating for awhile

- but he wanted to wait until you were fully comfortable and ready for it, and you did too

- but as you are currently straddling his lap on the couch, his lips glued to yours in a messy kiss while his hands find their way under your shirt, lightly grazing your sides

- you know you’re finally ready

“suga.” you say, pulling away from the kiss.

“hm?” he hums, his eyes meeting yours as he patiently waits for you to continue.

“i-i want you. i’m ready.” you say almost too softly for him to even process what you just said. but he does process it and his eyebrows raise in shock.

“are you sure?” he questions and you nod in response. he looks at you for a moment before giving you a quick kiss as he picks you up. your legs wrap tightly around his torso and your arms losely around his neck, then he takes you into his bedroom. 

he doesn’t want you losing your most precious gift on a dingy old couch, and would much rather do it in the comfort of his bed, hence him taking you there. he lays you gently on your back, you just looking up at him nervously. you don’t want to be nervous, but you can’t help it. you’ve heard so many varying stories of how losing your virginity could go terribly wrong, or beautifully right and you are truly hoping for the latter. suga notices your worried expression and frowns.

“are you sure you want to do this y/n? there’s no pressure, really.” he says softly.

“no i want to, trust me i do. i’m just nervous. i mean, you’ve done this before. plenty of times. what if i’m just not as good? what if i can’t satisfy you?” you admit.

“what? y/n, no. please don’t think like that. it doesn’t matter how much experience i’ve had, nor how much you’ve had. what matters is how much i care about you, which is enough to make this better than anything i’ve ever done.” suga reassures you and you smile. the boy always has such a way with his words.

“you’re right. i’m just in my head too much and i think the anticipation of waiting is making it worse so can we just...” you trail off and suga knows exactly what you were going to say.

“right, sorry.” he chuckles before leaning in to kiss you again. your back is on the bed, with suga hovering above you. he kisses you gently, making sure not to be too rough so that you feel safe, and it works. his body is placed in between your legs and you can feel yourself get hotter as you feel suga growing harder, lightly and subconsciously jutting his hips against you. 

you find yourself accidentally moaning into the kiss and you swear you feel suga smirk, which makes you slightly embarrassed. but at this point you don’t care. you want to be moaning for him. you want to be a moaning mess for him and only him. he slowly breaks the kiss away from your lips, moving it down your jaw, then to your neck. you knew your neck was sensitive but once suga’s lips were against it, you realized the severity of that sensitivity. a soft moan of suga’s name leaves your lips and his whole body goes stiff before he pulls away to look at you.

“you sound so pretty.” he says sweetly and you can’t help but shy away at his words, hiding your face with your hands.

“hey, nuh uh. let me see your face.” he chuckles and you comply with his orders. “much better.” he mumbles before reattaching his lips to your neck. he works there for awhile, sucking and nipping at the skin. surely leaving a bruise that you would have to figure out how to cover up the next day. then he pulls away and begins taking your shirt off. within seconds the thin piece of clothing is off your body and on the floor, and suga is back to sucking marks onto your skin. this time on the exposed parts of your chest, and the whimpers you’re providing him are giving him quite the satisfaction. he skillfully reaches behind your back and unclaspes your bra, then tosses the article to the side just as he did your shirt. you’re amazed at the lack of effort in this trick of his, but not given the time to bring attention to it before suga’s mouth is sucking softly on your nipple. you hum at the new sensation, and smile at how peaceful suga looks as he does his work.

“you’re so cute.” you say and suga just looks up at you and smiles, your nipple still in his mouth which makes you laugh. even while pleasuring you suga doesn’t fail to put a smile on your face and you love that. a few more seconds of nipple sucking and soft moaning goes on before suga moves on and starts kissing his way down your body.

your whole body tingles as he gets closer to the area between your legs, your eyes watching him closely. he slides down the shorts you’re wearing with ease, you helping him get them off your ankles. he then looks up at you, the expression on his face looking as though he’s asking for permission. with your permission, he takes your underwear off aswell, instantly fully erect at the sight of your bare core.

“fuck” he mumbles under his breath, wasting no time in getting a taste of you. his tongue is warm and soft against your sensitive area, and it feels good. so good. you moan out suga’s name and grip onto his hair, a little too hard at the sudden sensation. “shit, sorry.” you groan, feeling your face get hot. “don’t be, i liked it.” suga smirks and you roll your eyes, forgetting that your boyfriend has quite a kinky side that you haven’t gotten to tap into yet. but that’s quickly forgotten as he continues to lick your sweet spot. tongue fucking you for a little, then sucking on your clit. a nice little rotation that was driving you insane and just when you thought it couldn’t get better, he sticks a finger inside of you.

“holy shit.” you gasp, and again you swear you can feel suga smirking against you but you don’t care, he’s earned his right to smirk. you find yourself grinding your hips against suga’s tongue and fingers, desperate to reach your high and suga clearly notices. he helps you out by adding a second finger and focusing his mouth just on your clit, which makes the most obscene noise leave your mouth.

“hm, you’re close aren’t you?” suga asks, pulling his fingers out of you slowly. you groan at the sudden lack of contact.

“well i was.” you say shortly, somewhat annoyed that you were just robbed of your release.

“don’t be mad bunny. i just want you to cum with my dick inside of you, not my fingers.” suga grins and your stomach churns. the way he had just said something so dirty with the most wholesome smile on his face did something to you, and you’re sure that was his intention. he pulls off his pants and boxers, his hard member slapping softly against his stomach. this isn’t the first time you’ve seen it but it still takes you by surprise as you watch him put on a condom and the urge to feel it inside of you takes over.

“please suga, i need it. now.” you beg, desperate to feel something again after the tease that suga just gave you.

“hm, what a good girl. begging for me and i didn’t even ask you to.” he smiles before slowly inserting himself into you. you both moan at the wave of pleasure that rushes over you while he slides himself all the way in. suga places one hand on the headboard to steady himself and uses the other to rub your clit with his thumb. his thrusts are slow enough for you to get used to his size without hurting you, but deep enough to make you moan desperately.

“mm, suga. you feel so good.” you sigh, your eyes shut in pleasure, head thrown back against the pillow and your mouth agape letting out more moans. this image alone makes it nearly impossible for suga not to bust right then and there but he holds back, wanting to make you climax first. he continues to rub your clit while simultaneously beginning to speed up his thrusts, earning positive feedback with your noises. he does this for another minute or two while also alternating between kissing you and your neck. before you know it, you’re gripping the sheets and arching your back off the bed, the most intense wave of pleasure coming over you as you quickly reach your orgasm. you’ve made yourself orgasm plenty of times before, but never like this.

“fuck suga, oh my god.” you breathe out, attempting to regain your composure while suga is beginning to lose his.

“that was so hot, you’re so hot.” his voice shakes and you can tell he’s close by how sloppy his thrusts are getting. he gets a few more pumps in before pulling out, yanking the condom off, and cumming all over your stomach with a deep moan of your name. his fingers grip onto your waist as he releases, and you watch the pretty face he makes as he begins to come back down.

suga collapses down beside you. “sheesh, i don’t think i’ve cum that hard ever.” he chuckles, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

“yeah, me either.” you giggle, your mind still hazy from your own orgasm.

“hm, i’m glad. i hope i was able to make your first time meet your expectations.” suga says sweetly.

“oh baby, you exceeded them.”

akaashi

- you and akaashi have done sexual things before

- but you just haven’t been ready to fully go all the way yet, and akaashi is completely ok with that

- he’s patient and respects that you need time despite secretly wanting to just fully let go whenever you guys do anything sexual

- but he knows you’re a virgin and is aware that you’re a bit shy in regards to that

- so he doesn’t pressure you, not in the slightest which you appreciate deeply

- but one day your mindset completely changes and you’re just about ready to risk it all

you’re watching akaashi closely on the court. he’s doing amazing in today’s game. all of his sets are landing perfectly, helping the team earn some powerful spikes and rack up points. although you swore you were paying attention to the whole team, the truth is your eyes were glued to akaashi the whole time. something was hitting different about him today. maybe the way he was glowing with sweat from going all out? the way he was exuding confidence on the court after his team kept making points? you don’t know, but what you do know is that you want him and you want him now.

but unfortunately that can’t happen, so you patiently wait for the game to finish before you meet up with your exhausted yet triumphant boyfriend.

“great job today babe.” you say embracing the boy in a big hug, wrapping your arms around his neck while he gently rests his around your waist.

“haha thank you y/n, i’m drenched in sweat though. you never hug me when i’m sweaty like this.” he says with a raised eyebrow, wondering why the sudden change.

“honestly just needed to touch you.” you admit more to yourself than you do to him.

“oh?” he says noticing the look in your eyes. he’s seen that look before. the look you give because you’re too shy to say ‘fuck me.’

“so you really enjoyed watching me out there today huh?” he smiles, now knowing exactly what you want without you having to say a word.

“mhmm.” you hum, waiting for him to take the initiative as he usually does.

“i’ll take care of you when we get home.” he whispers into your ear and a shiver runs down your spine, you couldn’t wait.

the ride home seems antagonizingly long, but finally you arrive to yours and akaashi’s shared apartment. as soon as you’re within the doors of your home, the two of you are all over each other. lips attaching messily, tongue involved in no time. hands. hands everywhere. both of you feeling each other up, eager to feel the other’s touch. somehow you make it safely to the bedroom with no trips or stumbles, never disconnecting the kiss until you plop yourself down onto the bed, akaashi doing the same next to you.

“so what do you want? the usual? you want me to eat you out?” akaashi asks breathlessly.

“um, actually akaashi...” you trail off, a bit nervous to tell him what you want.

“what is it babe?” he asks, concern spreading over his face.

“i want to go all the way this time. i want you to take my virginity.” you say bluntly. akaashi’s mouth gapes open slightly at your words. he has been waiting for this day for who knows how long, and now that it’s here? he has no clue what to do with himself.

“are you sure?” is all he mutters.

“i’m one hundred percent positive.” you assure him.

he smiles at you cutely before kissing you again. slowing down the tempo now that he knows this will be a bit more of a serious ordeal. you like the slowness of the kiss though, feeling his lips pressing gently against yours while his hands rest on your hips. it gives you butterflies.

akaashi temporarily stops the kiss to move you farther up onto the bed so now your head is resting on the pillows. he wants you to be as comfortable as possible and figures this will help.

“comfortable?” he asks, just to make sure and you nod. he then takes off his shirt and you follow his lead, removing yours too. then goes your pants, and your underwear, and the two of you are left completely naked.

you blush at the sight of your boyfriend. you realize you’ve never seen him fully naked. you’ve either seen him with his shirt off, or with his pants off while you gave him head. but never at the same time. and he’s never seen you fully naked either. either with your shirt off, or your bottoms off. never both. so you both just take a moment to soak in the sights in front of you.

“you’re so stunning.”

“you’re so handsome.”

the two of you speak in unison and laugh at the coincidence.

“no seriously though y/n, you’re insanely beautiful.” akaashi says, scanning over your body.

“hm, thank you baby.” you hum and a huge grin takes over your face, and akaashi’s as well.

he then starts kissing your neck. leaving soft small pecks all over the exposed skin. that was his favorite thing to do because it tickles so you always giggle a little bit. half giggle, half moan, and he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever.

“i know foreplay is important, but if i don’t fuck you now i’m not gonna make it.” akaashi admits agaist your neck, still placing kisses.

“that’s ok.” you laugh, “i’m already wet enough anyway.” you confess.

“shit, you are.” akaashi groans as he pulls away to peak at your pussy, which was currently glistening with your wetness. “that’s hot.” he mumbles more to himself than to you but you still smile anyway.

“are you sure you’re ready?” he asks again.

“i told you, i’m positive.” you reassure him.

with that, he positions himself at your entrance. his eyes are locked on your face, wanting to see your reaction as it goes in. he pushes himself in at a slow pace. a pace that would have been irritating to anyone with more experience, but for you it was perfect because the stretch you feel is very new. it hurts a little, but watching akaashi’s face and hearing his soft moan as he thrusts himself into you makes it all worth it.

“shit.” he groans once he’s all the way inside and you moan too, him hitting a spot that made your whole body tingle.

“right there, do that again akaashi.” you say and he does exactly that, earning another rich moan from your lips. he smiles at your noise, secretly trying to hold himself back from cumming just from that.

he continues to slowly thrust into you, purposely aiming to hit the spot that you like so much just so he can keep hearing your moans. he then watches you as you place your fingers on your clit, rubbing it expertly. his cock twitches at the view in front of him. you with your legs wide open with him deep inside you as you desperately rub yourself, looking up at him innocently. a complete contradiction to what the two of you are currently doing. and just as he thinks you can’t make it any harder for him not to cum you moan,

“akaashi, please go faster.” and he nearly passes out.

though he does not, and gives you exactly what you asked for. his thrusts increase in speed but he maintains his deep aim into your g spot and you feel yourself begin to tremble. he just watches in awe, knowing that you’re getting close to your limit.

“i-i’m close.” you moan, legs beginning to tighten around akaashi’s waist where you currently had them wrapped.

“cum for me y/n, please cum for me.” he says, partly wanting you to cum for your own pleasure and partly because he’s quite literally about to explode.

he can tell you’re there by the way your trembling gets slightly more aggressive and your moans get quite a bit louder and more consistent, and this brings him over the edge too. he quickly pulls out of you and cums on the bedsheets next to your body, the two of you panting as you come down from your highs.

“my god akaashi, if i would have known it’d be that good i would’ve asked you to take my virginity forever ago” you say and he laughs before showering your face in kisses.

[harkanya]

@alstroemeriadissonance part 3!

Friday

There was silence from Rosa that day and Vyn was thankful for the distraction in his own work. A healthy stack of psychology essays from students took up residence on his desk in his home office awaiting his attention. These essays were a considerable portion of the students’ grades and they had spent a proportionate amount of effort on them, Vyn hoped. He didn’t want to wield the Red Pen of Disappointment unless absolutely necessary.

Soft music filtered in through a speaker on the wall, enveloping the good doctor in serenity and peace. Or, rather, that was the intention.

Instead, Vyn blinked several times and shook his head, having fallen back into his new habit of daydreaming. Fifteen minutes had been spent mentally redecorating a wing of his imaginary estate and filling it with objects he had remembered seeing in Rosa’s condo. A soft and white rabbit plush toy for the bed, a vase filled with lilies for the table and a bookshelf filled to the brim with law, philosophy and the romance novels Vyn had once considered frivolous.

“‘The Princess’ Pensive Suitor’?” he had asked, holding the book, with its hideously bright color scheme, in one hand.

“Kiki–Kiki gave it to me!!” Rosa had explained, stammering with embarrassment. She’d turned away from him with rapidly darkening cheeks. “Yes, there’s a scantily clad man riding a white horse on the front but she said the plot was fantastic! And… and you yourself said you can’t judge a book by its cover!”

Did she dream of him riding to her rescue on a white stallion across meticulously manicured and impossible landscapes of technicolor flowers?

More importantly, did she dream of him with half his shirt open and billowing in the wind seductively, his chest glistening for some inexplicable reason?

…..what am I doing?

His mental estate, with all of its opulence and grandeur that symbolized who he was, felt empty unless she was roaming the grounds. Empty and devoid of pleasure unless she was within his walls. The paintings on the walls were lifeless, the tea tasteless, the natural light he’d prided himself on had grown dim.

With a sigh, he stood up from his desk and pinched the bridge of his nose, walking to his window which overlooked the garden. The garden Rosa would help him tend the very next day. The weather forecast called for typical cold conditions but lacked rain until the evening. The perfect time for pruning, cleaning and garden lessons.

The dictaphone was by now full of his self-evaluations regarding his new problem. Dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, phenylethylamine… all chemicals related to the euphoric feeling of love. This was the first instance Vyn had ever felt such a thing and the physical symptoms alone were quite alarming. The butterflies in the stomach effect was especially pronounced when in Rosa’s physical vicinity. Other problematic symptoms included the urge to smile when around her, the desire to touch her in some way and to engulf himself in her scent…

Utterly embarrassing. If he wasn’t able to tighten his control of himself, Rosa would turn to see him grinning like a lovestruck high school student one of these days.

A facepalm moment, Marius would say. Big oof, Luke would say and then would add something about hashtags.

Yes, he’d studied the psychology of love and attraction out of both curiosity and necessity. After all, many of his patients had troubles that revolved around love or the lack thereof. Experiencing the damn thing was another ball of wax entirely. As a young teen, Vyn had been absolutely convinced of his immunity to such folly. After all, his father was the first victim of love Vyn had ever known. Love at first sight, no less.Vyn had firsthand knowledge of how devastating such folly could be as it robbed him of his mother, archaic Svart laws aside.

And yet, here he was, pining for the woman who plucked a card from his carefully-erected test and had exceeded expectations so spectacularly. Vyn found himself staring down at the garden, wondering if he should bake for her tomorrow, if she would like it and whether she would enjoy tending the plants with him by her side. What tea should he prepare? What tea set should be used?

Is this what my father felt when he met mother?

I feel like I’ve lost control of myself…

In his mind’s eye, he recalled her peridot gaze softening ever so slightly when she laid her gaze upon him. It was a look wholly unlike any he observed her lavish upon Luke or Marius or Artem, or so he’d hoped. Surely there was something there. His overtures were elegant as always, caressing her skin like silk. Vyn cataloged her blushes, her stutters, the way she’d dip her head when embarrassed by his compliments.

Another hour had been spent toiling inside his own head. Vyn took a steadying breath and returned to his desk, determined to get some work done before tomorrow.

[teawaffles]

Forbidden Games: Chapter 4

Alan led the way as the two men proceeded down the corridor to another room. While he walked alone in front, the pair noticed the footsteps of several people following them from behind.

They seemed to be travelling to the back of the building, and apart from the people who were currently moving, there was no sign of life. Apparently, ‘normal’ participants could only play in that large hall from before.

“It’s gotten quite chilly, hasn’t it? As I recall, Mr Holmes, you’re not fond of the cold. Are you alright?” William murmured, his shoulders shaking slightly.

Sherlock himself wasn’t particularly sensitive to the cold, but he kept his expression static as he pondered the intention behind that statement.

In the next moment, William twitched the corner of his mouth upwards in a gesture that only Sherlock would understand. Recognising this, Sherlock understood everything, and promptly played along.

“That’s right. It does seem chilly. ——Liam, could you lend me your coat?”

“No problem, here you go.”

“Thanks.”

William held out the coat he had been carrying under his arm. Sherlock took it and immediately put it on. Then, he straightened the coat as he carefully checked how it felt on him.

“If you’re feeling cold, may I suggest we have a warm drink in one of these rooms before proceeding?”

Alan posed the question with a seemingly concerned tone. It appeared that he had taken William’s words at face value.

“No worries. Anyway, I’m also excited to see what kind of game you have for us. It’s almost like the shivers before a battle.”

At Sherlock’s words, Alan nodded happily.

“Is that the case? As the one introducing you to it, I’m pleased to hear that.”

At last, they reached their destination. Alan quietly opened the door and bid the duo enter. The two men shared a look, and went in silently.

The room was dimly lit, and roughly a quarter the size of the hall they were previously in. In the centre was a finely crafted round table, and surrounding it was a group of gentlemen standing in silence, staring at the new entrants.

It was an ominous sight, as if it were a secret ritual. The men’s expressions were unanimously mild, but there was also a keen sense of malice hidden underneath. Even so, having witnessed countless bloody battles and come out standing, William and Sherlock remained unperturbed amidst the disquieting atmosphere.

Sherlock looked at a corner of the room, and flashed a big grin.

“Yo, fancy meeting you here.”

Standing there was the noble’s son whom Sherlock had been tasked to find. Just like the other gentlemen, he was dressed sharply. Yet he lacked a trace of the dignity befitting a noble, instead glancing around his surroundings in sheer terror.

Having observed the young man’s appearance, William murmured a question to Sherlock.

“Is he the young man you were searching for?”

“Yep. It looks like he’s alive for now, but judging from his behaviour, it’s not hard to imagine how he was treated by these guys.”

After deducing the situation, they heard the click of a lock behind them.

Turning around, they saw Alan standing with his back to the door, a smile plastered on his face.

“As expected, you’re quick on the uptake. I sincerely admire your excellent deductive abilities.”

Sherlock snorted at his feigned courtesy.

“What’re you talking about? You’re the one who brought us here.”

“I thought it’d be pointless to keep this place a secret once you’d sniffed it out. Anyway, I reckoned I’d make sure to give him a proper welcome too.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Still, what reason could you possibly have for locking up some noble brat? Are all these guys your accomplices too?”

Alan made a show of being astonished.

“We don’t do such perverse things as locking people up. All we pursue is the pure delight of a game, and the comrades gathered here today share in this goal. It is only when pleasure is kept secret that it ascends to a higher realm.”

“——So just like what you did to us earlier, you invited this man here, coerced him into playing some ‘thrilling game’ which he lost, then locked him in this room until he pays off his debt. Is that right?”

“…………”

William’s harsh words stripped away the veneer of Alan’s so-called lofty pleasures, revealing them to be but deceitful tricks. The man raised no retort, and Sherlock clicked his tongue.

“So, are you holding this noble’s son hostage for ransom? Or are you thinking of threatening him so that he’ll make arrangements for you when he inherits his estate? In any case, deceiving and threatening kids makes you no different from a stingy crook.”

Having been bluntly maligned, Alan finally shook his head in sadness.

“It’s utterly regrettable to be misunderstood in such a way. This man consented to play the game of his own free will. However, because he refused to pay up despite his defeat, I’ve had to keep persuading him ardently like this.”

“Persuasion…… so you say,” William retorted.

Having taught students of the same age, he did not hide his displeasure.

Then Sherlock pressed on, openly revealing his irritation.

“Well? Our goal here’s to bring him home safely, but as for you, you’re not going to let things go that easily, are you?”

Alan held out both arms, as if to express his admiration.

“Both of you have been a big help advancing the conversation so smoothly. But there’s no need to be afraid. We have no intention of committing barbaric acts. As I conveyed from the start, all I want to do is play a game with you, with all my heart and soul.”

“Damn you, if this was really just a game then there’d be no need to bet.”

“Doesn’t the risk of defeat just add to the excitement?”

“……Only your ability to make sophisms is first-class, huh.”

They seemed to be getting nowhere trading arguments with this man. Sherlock sighed, as if rendered speechless.

Taking over from the exhausted detective, William spoke up.

“In that case, would you release this man if we win your game?”

Alan nodded in enthusiasm.

“Precisely, since our motto is that all’s fair and square when it comes to games.”

However, Sherlock nudged William with his elbow.

“Liam, you don’t have to go out of your way to play along with them. If you leave it to me, I’ll beat these wimps to a pulp in seconds.”

Hearing Sherlock’s statement, Alan took a step back.

“Ooh, how frightening. In that case……”

He raised his hand. Taking that as a signal, one of Alan’s accomplices brandished a knife and held it to the young noble’s throat. Unable to even make a sound, the young man went white with shock.

“We have no choice but to respond appropriately.”

Alan’s friendly smile had morphed into a brutal one. Having seen the gentleman reveal his true nature, William finally looked at him with disgust.

“In other words, no matter how much we struggle to avoid it, we’ll be drawn into a game…… and although it wouldn’t be outright impossible, it would be difficult to call it ‘fair and square’.”

“This is all simply because we love games,” Alan said brazenly, with no regard for the hostility directed at him.

At that instant, the pair decided to crush this man.

“——Excellent.”

Sherlock spoke up. Even though it wasn’t said particularly loudly, his statement rang out across the room.

William continued in an exceedingly polite tone.

“The extent to which you wish to play games, that I have understood completely. Therefore, regardless of the outcome, I hope you will not regret your decision.”

“……Ooh.”

The pressure exerted by the pair’s fighting spirit had started to make Alan’s entire body tense up.

“I’m glad to hear that you’re in the mood now. By the way, what would you both like to wager on this match?”

At his question, the pair looked at each other.

“We demand that this man be set free. As for the price of our defeat…… Well, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Anything I want?” Alan doubted.

Immediately, William chimed in.

“Then it would be the same for me. In the event that we lose, be it money, my position as a noble, or the fruits of my academic research, please feel free to lay claim to any of them.”

Alan’s eye twitched at their careless manner of speaking.

“……I don’t suppose you both take me for a fool?” he uttered, in a deeply uncomfortable tone.

“That would be outrageous. It’s simply because I have conviction.”

“When Liam and I team up, no one can stand up to us.”

They were outnumbered in the enemy’s hideout. On top of that, the enemy had taken a hostage.

But even though it would seem to anyone that they were at a disadvantage, the duo’s voices were filled with confidence. Any listener would soon realise that it was not an act of bravado. The two of them had complete trust that their intellectual capacity and force of will far exceeded that of these petty villains.

“…………”

Having been struck head-on by William and Sherlock’s unshakeable conviction, an intense, hot hatred welled up in the pit of Alan’s stomach.

——In the past, Alan had been an influential noble with a vast plot of land in the vicinity of Durham. However, he had fallen into economic ruin with the Industrial Revolution and the current of the times. Simply put, he had begun to walk the path of his downfall.

He’d blindly believed his days of prosperity would continue for all eternity. Watching them fade away, Alan had sunk into the depths of despair, and desperately sought a way to assuage this sense of defeat.

To that end, he became absorbed in games. Whenever he and his opponent had agreed upon the rules and engaged in an earnest match, with him coming out the victor, Alan found that those indescribable highs were finally able to satisfy him.

Having grown aware of his appetite, upon finding out that there was a club established with the purpose of playing ‘games’, Alan immediately sought out his old friends in the nobility to gain admission. He then gathered like-minded people from within the club. Among the club members, he then would pick a target, covertly invite them to a game, and use brute force to achieve victory after victory.

Day after day they would rob nobles of their rights, with demands for payment which were unmistakably threats. His accomplices appeared to be satisfied by the profits, but Alan was different. He wanted to look down upon his opponent and use any means necessary to make them surrender.

Therefore, even now, as he held a noble’s son as a hostage, Alan refused to negotiate. He only desired to win the game. No matter what absurd sequence of events was taking place.

However, these young men were different. Even in the midst of danger, they were calm and composed, with no expectation at all that they would be defeated.

Faced with a type of person he had never met up till now, Alan not only remembered what it felt like to be irritated, but also chuckled inwardly to himself: it would surely be a pleasant experience to tear them down.

Once again, he put on a boastful smirk.

“If that’s the case, then I’ll be the one to decide the price of your defeat.”

“Fine by me. Well then, what game shall we play?”

[lorelylantana]

A Blindsided Engagement Chapter 2: Engagement

Chapter 1

Chapter Rating: G Overall Rating: G

Ava Vanguard was surprised to see Link return to Hateno a full month ahead of schedule. She was a bit disappointed when she read that her husband and son would assist in clearing the damage of Calamity and it would be some time before she could see her family again, but the relief that they survived was enough to keep her content. News that her family still stood was all she could ask for as a military wife and mother. She was just sitting down to lunch when none other than her son walked through the door. 

Link seemed well, better than she’d ever seen him, in fact. He was dressed smartly in boots she recognized as standard issue for the Royal Guard and the Champion’s tunic he was so fond of. Ava was a bit perplexed at the circlet gleaming on his forehead, but shrugged it off. After slaying Calamity, her son no doubt received gifts of all kinds. Link carried a garment bag in his hands, which he hung on the hook by the door before hugging her tight. 

“Hi, Ma.”

“Let me look at you,” she said, taking his face in her hands. She was glad to see a quiet joy in his eyes that she hadn’t seen since he drew the sword that hung over his shoulder. It made her happy to see bits of the son return to her after he walled himself off. “Tell me everything.”

Link managed to explain the story of Calamity’s downfall between bites of their split lunch, which is how Ava knew he was nervous. Now that Calamity was soundly defeated, there were very few things that Ava could think of that would cause such reticence.

Did her son find a significant other? Had he come to ask for permission to bring someone home?

“You're earlier than expected,” she prompted, gauging her son’s reaction, “Is there anything you wanted to tell me?” 

Link cleared his throat, hand coming up to the back of his head.

“I’m engaged.”

Well, she wasn’t that far off.

Ava gasped, “I had no idea you found someone special! You should have written!”

“It was really sudden,” he admitted, “Honestly, I’m still shocked she said yes.”

Ava laughed, made euphoric by relief. She was aware of and lost countless night’s sleep over the walls her boy had put around himself. Her heart broke to see that forced apathy in his eyes. Yet here he stood, joy written in every line of his face, no sign of restraint in sight.

It was a shame she couldn’t stop to admire it, as not a moment later her son straightened.

“I have to go, the wedding planning’s been keeping me busy. I thought I would invite you to the engagement feast personally, but I have to be getting back,” he nodded toward the garment bag, “I thought you could wear that to the banquet. A tailor in the castle can alter it if it doesn’t fit.”

With a hug and a kiss to his forehead, Link was gone. Vanished out the door, and once again she was alone.

For a moment, a bittersweet moment, she was still. Her little boy had grown up, and she didn’t get to see it. Still, the melancholy thought was drowned out with the elation that came with the knowledge that her son, amid the chaos, found a safe harbor to bare his soul to.

Ava shook her head and moved to the garment bag. She had a nice dress, so she didn’t know why he gave her a new one.

At least, that’s what she thought before she opened the bag.

She had never touched a fabric so fine. Her fingers glided over deep velvet and silk, gazing in awe at the gold detailing along the sleeves. A dress fit for royalty.

Ava smiled to herself. Her son was always such a sweet boy, though perhaps she should scold him. There was no need to spend so much money on her.

It’s not like she could wear such nice clothes very often.

-

Captain James Vanguard wasn’t really surprised when he received an invitation to a banquet and instructions to wear his dress uniform. He’d been expecting it. His son was the Hero of Hyrule, of course he’d be invited to the victory celebration. He was taken a bit off guard when the footman informed him that said celebration would be held that very evening, but James Vanguard was a soldier through and through. It took him a quick thirty minutes to change out of his armor, scrub the day’s grime from his body, and slip into the red and blue suit that had been issued upon his knighthood and he was ready for the grand occasion. 

Despite his quick response time, the party was already in full swing when James entered the Sanctum, lit up by blue flame, giving the ancient hall an ethereal glow that was at once new and old. For a moment he was silent, letting the fact that they were at peace sink in at long last. Perhaps now he could retire without the guilt of letting his country down. Spend his days holding his wife instead of just thinking of her.

The King’s approach snapped him out of his reverie. James bowed, “Your Majesty.”

“Good evening, Captain! Are you enjoying the festivities?”

“Yes, Your Majesty, I can’t imagine a better way to celebrate the occasion. More than I expected, to be frank.”

The King threw his head back and laughed, “I can imagine. You must be proud of your boy, hm?”

“Of course. He’s exceeded every hope I had for him. That said, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried for him.”

James had lost many nights’ sleep thinking of how his little boy seemed to curl under the weight of his destiny. In his more fanciful thoughts, he’d believe that the burden would be lifted, but his years as a soldier had taught him that it wouldn’t be so simple. 

He knew that the physical scars were the easiest to overcome.

King Rhoam hummed, “I can imagine, but I’m sure our children will pull through. We’ll be there to advise them after all.”

And with that, the King was gone, off to speak with the other guests. James shook his head. This was a happy time, and he was told Ava was here. His energy should be spent towards finding his wife.

Ava looked around, completely unprepared for the grand scale of the celebration before her. She was told her husband would be in attendance as well, so she searched for him, feeling like a fish out of water.

“Mrs. Vanguard, it’s so lovely to finally meet you!” 

Ava turned to see none other than Princess Zelda herself, walking towards her in a fluttering violet gown the exact same shade of the coat her son now wore. The Champions likely coordinated their attire. Ava hurried to curtsy the best she could, but the Princess merely waved a hand.

“Oh there’s no need for that, please. I’ve been eager to finally speak with you. You must be so proud of Link, I certainly am. 

Ava blinked, pleasantly surprised that the Princess held her son in such high regard. Eager as she was to finally discover who her son’s bride was, Ava wasn’t about to refuse a request from the Golden Princess, so she talked for hours about her favorite moments of Link’s childhood.

“You must tell me what Link was like as a child, and spare no details!”

Ava wasn’t about to deny a chance to relay some of her fondest memories, especially at the princess’ request. They talked for what seemed like hours. She wasted no time telling the Princess about Link’s childhood escapades. She was just about to explain how five year old Link rode a bear through the village street in nothing but shorts when Princess Zelda was called away for a speech.

Ava sighed, alone once again. Perhaps she could spot her son in the crowd?

“Ava!”

She turned, a smile growing on her face and her husband’s arms wrapped around her. She kissed him, alight with affection and relief at seeing James and feeling his beating heart against her chest. 

The war really was over.

“I missed you,”

“I missed you too.”

As blissful as the moment was, it was cut short by the King addressing the crowd.

“I hope all of you are enjoying the evening. I can’t think of a better way to mark the end of the Calamity’s reign than with an engagement, and so we gather to-”

Confused, James leaned into his wife’s ear.

“Who’s getting married? Anyone we know?” 

Ava turned to look at him with that expression she wore whenever he said something stupid, which he thought was unwarranted for once given the situation.

“It’s Link, James.”

“What?”

“What did you think this party was for? It’s to celebrate Link’s engagement!”

“His what?”

“Our son is getting married,” Ava said, “Since he’s one of the Champions, the royal family was kind enough to celebrate with him.”

Vanguard was reeling, “Who’s he getting married to?”

Ava tutted, “He didn’t mention her name, I was going to ask him tonight, but Princess Zelda wanted to talk and I’ve been sidetracked all evening. She really is such a lovely girl.”

Before he could ponder this revelation further, King Rhoam commanded the room’s attention.

“I would like to thank you all for celebrating this wonderful occasion with us. After such dark times, it gives me great joy to hold this feast in anticipation of a union I have no doubt has the support of all Hyrule-”

As the king spoke, the Captain scanned the Sanctum, trying to spot his son’s mystery bride. Could it be Mipha, they had spent some time together as children, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it grew to something more. James thought better of it as soon as he spotted the Zora in question. She was beautiful, dressed in her Champion blue, but there was an air of melancholy about her that was impossible to ignore. Captain Vanguard hoped his future daughter in law wouldn’t look so forlorn at the engagement party. 

“-and now, without further ado, I ask that you all join in as we celebrate the upcoming nuptials of my dear daughter, Zelda Lana Hyrule, and her loyal Champion, Link Vanguard!”

Wait a minute.

His son’s name was Link Vanguard.

Captain Vanguard blinked as the room erupted with applause, looking up to the man standing beside the Princess and king.

Well, there he was, standing where the Princess’ fiance was supposed to be with his arm linked with. Before he could process the implications of these observations, a butler came by to guide James and his wife to a private banquet hall. They sat down next to each other and were told to wait. It was strange, to be sitting at a table he’d spent countless hours guarding. James shifted in his seat.

“To clarify,” James began, “Our son’s going to marry Princess Zelda?”

Ava nodded, “I think so,”

Link and Zelda walked smiling through the door, and the room descended into chaos.

[scoundrels-in-love]

I’ve said it before without elaborating, but now I will.

When I say Seun Gyeom is meeting all my standards, I really mean it. Not necessarily conceptual ‘dating’ ones, but just as a person. As someone I’d like to be.

He seems to be coded as ND and also depressed, he is written as the sort of lost that has never really thought what it means to not be lost. He had purpose with running, briefly and perhaps vividly, but it lost its color and he forgot why he was running in the first place.

He is exceptionally kind and considerate, in a way that seems almost impossible, because most of the time, people have to be shown something to replicate it, to expand it. Even if it’s in a movie or a book. He seems to have had no example but ‘what would you like to be treated as’ and exceeding amounts of empathy and consideration for others. From childhood, he’d lessen himself as a burden just so there’d be peace at the household and for the chance that he would be perhaps loved.

This does go to lengths that can be unhealthy toward himself, but I will be honest when I say I wish I could be as kind and thoughtful as him, in the little big ways, such as the hospital scene or the way he held her hand, supporting it all the while. He has Galaxy Brain when it comes to being kind and I am jealous of it. Truly, the Caretaking instinct is on a whole new level in him.

He is incredibly just. Everything he did for Woo Sik, with no regard for himself and just pushing forcefully for a solution that was genuinely more righteous, steadily and quietly in all but one violent act, was and is something absolutely amazing. It’s hard to do that, even if you have little self worth, it’s hard to acknowledge your privilege and to denounce it so thoroughly, to actively fight against it protecting you in this case.

He is also naturally curious and always looking things up, possibly because no one ever bothered to explain anything to him. And always, always growing. We are shown/implied he didn’t really understand his Coach’s decision to beat up that man, he says repeatedly violence is violence and is not to be glorified, seems to hate it even, yet he doesn’t Angst about it (only gets angry that Dan Ah would support such behavior), doesn’t wallow in self pity how he had to compromise his ideals or to become a ‘monster’ - because it was still somewhat the right thing to do and his view on things has grown and adjusted. He is constantly growing even without Mi Joo’s involvement, the Initial Incident starting everything had nothing to do with her, and I find that very refreshing.

He’s also a little sassy and very funny in a deadpan way, which I adore. And he’s affectionate, with animals for example, or the chef at the house. Not to mention, all the comforting, supportive touches he gave Woo Sik. He is reserved about himself, locked away, but also there’s wealth of warmth to him.

Genuinely, his emotional intelligence is so high in many ways and he is very wise, but not in infallible way, he can’t always relate and he can’t always figure out what went wrong, or even what he’s feeling or how to deal with it other than writing it all off. To have someone say ‘you don’t have to forgive them if you don’t want to’, even if it was paraphrase of Mi Joo’s saying, the way he amplifies it, it was truly something else.

He is also so damn hard working with even slightest purpose, the way he spoke of just focusing one runner ahead of him at the time, the way he worked from bottom to the almost very top (which, so interesting that they’d let him always remain with Silver instead of making him the once Gold star and I love it).

And I mean, if I had a chance to be incredibly rich and not be one ounce entitled about it... I’d not turn that down, let’s be real.

While I am not the biggest fan of religion themes in a show, it’s actually very ironic that his father is everything most big face Christians are and Seun Gyeom is more of the type of Christian Bible actually wants you to be. Since he is involved with the Christian school, he’s actually religious (in genuine belief, not just name), too, but then again, he said his father is Christian, not that he is. In which case, even more ironic.

Meanwhile, of course, he’s not Perfect and I don’t think he will ever be - and he shouldn’t be. He will not get the movie references or like drinking and sometimes he will not make sense to most of the people around him. I hope he will learn to care more about him, we can already see that he does. I think he will find a new goal or a dream. And sometimes he’ll fumble and need advice - and he won’t be afraid to ask for it. And I truly, earnestly love him.

TL;DR - if I could be anyone, I’d love to be someone as genuinely good and kind, and wise as him. I already got the aimlessness and depression down, too, so.

[basicsofislam]

JESUS (peace be upon Him) in ISLAM: The birth of Jesus (pbuh) & The family of Imran (Joachim): Part 1

Due to their pure devotion to Allah, the family of Imran, [linked back to Prophet Dawud ( David) peace be upon him], was granted a special status on earth. His daughter, Maryam (Mary) peace be upon her had been mentioned 31 times in the Noble Quran , and has even an entire surah (chapter) named after her, as well as her parents, the best of people of their time.

Not only that , but in the sight of Allah, Maryam’s status was so high ranked , her son had never been mentioned in the Noble Quran without the mention of his mother’s name right after his. Historically and socially , this was a very uncommon event as children are attributed to the father or main male figure in their family. Through this, Allah pointed towards the miraculous birth of Isa ibn Maryam ( Jesus son of Mary ) peace be upon him but also to his mother’s importance.

Surat Al-Imran in particular ,reveals important aspects of the story of Maryam peace be upon her, specifically her upbringing , her elevated rank and relates the taintless conception and birth of her beloved son, soon to be one of the greatest prophets of Islam.

(They refuse belief in you and some of the Prophets because you did not appear among them, but God favors whomever He wishes with Messengership, and) God made pure Adam and Noah and the House of Abraham and the House of Imraan, choosing them above all humankind,

As descendants of one another (and they were following the same way. Therefore, do not, in respect of believing in them as Prophets, make any distinction between the Prophets and do not think or speak ill of God’s preference). God is All-Hearing, All-Knowing. ( Holy Quran , Al-‘Imran 33-34 )

Imran was a very virtuous man whose devotion , morality and righteousness exceeded those of the rest of the pious Children of Israel. Only due to the piety of this family , Allah saved their generation from grief and misfortune.

Hannah bint Fakood, Imran’s wife , was unable to give birth to children.

It is said that one day while she was watching a songbird feeding its own baby birds, she started to desire children for herself. Sadly, due to her old age, this was quite impossible to acomplish.

Hannah, as a true worshipper of Allah, turned to Him and asked for offspring . Her prayer had been answered right-away.

Right after sensing her pregnancy and feeling the movements of a baby in her womb, she made a vow to lead her child on a path of sincerity, piety and devotion to the Creator . This promise was made out of gratefulness and her own loyalty to Allah Himself.

(Remember) when the woman (from the House) of Imran entreated: “My Lord, I have dedicated that which is in my womb to Your exclusive service. Accept it, then, from me. Surely You are the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing. ” ( Holy Quran , Al-'Imran 35 )

Back in those days, Beit Al Maqdis was one of the most important places of worship in Jerusalem . Regarding its charge, maintenance and preservation , male worshippers were favoured due to the social traditions of the society along with the care and protection that should be granted to a woman. Such a position, since it required a potential female worshipper to live inside or in the imediate proximity of the Temple, could have easily put her in danger.

Due to all these factors, Imran’s wife hoped to give birth to a son.

When she was delivered of it, she said: “My Lord, I have given birth to a female. ” God knew best of what she was delivered, (so she did not need to be sorry, because) the male child (she expected) could not be the same as (the) female child (whom We bestowed on her and would honor with a great favor). I have named her Mary, and commend her and her offspring to You for protection from Satan eternally rejected from God’s Mercy. “( Holy Quran , Al-'Imran 36)

Regardless of Hannah’s disappointment and fear that ultimately she wouldn’t be able to keep her promise, Allah had the perfect plan. Maryam peace be upon her was going to become the first female caretaker of the Temple , an amazing role model for the muslims , and the mother of one of the most important figures in Islam - our beloved Prophet Isa (Jesus) peace be upon him.

[starbuck09256]

Death is lurking

MSR-fluff

Tagging @today-in-fic who is always amazing. I appreciate you.  Season 6 

Post Tithonus

When they get back from New York, where a rookie agent almost cost him her. He decides that it’s been long enough. He no longer cares if she would be better off, he knows it and probably so does she but she still stays. Still calls him, still sits next to him in the cafeteria, still finds him articles and sneaks around a bit to get them files. She still follows him and leads him, and if anything this time she knows that they might have dodged death just a bit too much. 

This time she got too close, close enough to feel the stale breath in the air, to see the dark shadow closing in around her. She was there one minute trying desperately to believe ‘not yet, I’m not ready’ because she isn’t ready to die. She is ready to live though, she tried to tell him before with cheap wine and cheddar cheese, with phone calls about nothing. She ran too though when it became a little too clear that he might be ready too. Suddenly he was calling her bluff which she didn’t think was a bluff, he was trying to kiss her, telling her he loves her. This time she might have died without ever feeling his lips on hers, the smell of them after a night in her bed. She might never know what it means to be his, even though part of her knows that she is and has been for years. 

On the plane home she places her hand in his, snuggles close to him in a way she normally doesn’t. He leans his head against hers turns to place a soft kiss on her forehead. She wants to whisper “lower” so that he gets the hint. As the plane ascends to the heavens the drugs in her system still fight to keep her resting and she slips asleep to the feel of his hand in hers. When they land, he helps her with her bag, because she still shouldn’t lift anything she huddles close again seeking out his warmth. Since the shot she can’t get warm, it's not the same cold as Antarctica but it’s there in her bones, as if death was still creeping over her shoulder. He breaks the silence while he lifts their bags into his trunk. 

“We should probably stop on the way, get you stocked up on some stuff, refill your meds, kind of jealous of the 2 weeks mandatory leave you got. Two weeks away from Kersh sounds like it might be worth a shot to the belly.” 

It isn’t, he knows, but she is acting strange. Staying close to him, touching him, not even trying to pretend it’s anything different. 

“Is your mom coming by later or should I stay? I just want to make sure someone can help you, even if you think you don’t need it.” 

She smiles at him. “I would love it if you could stay.” she chews on her lip a bit. “But I understand if you have other plans.” 

It’s hard to admit that he might, normally she wouldn’t even think he did but Diana is still there, in the back of her head, working in their office holding feelings for Mulder that he once reciprocated. He grins at her and she finally feels warmth seeping into her. 

He closes the trunk and looks at her a bit confused, what plans could he possibly have? 

“Alright roomie, get in the car. Groceries and refills first? Then maybe some star trek and Thai? Or is that a no?” 

He opens her door for her, she gets in careful of her stomach and he grins again but as she goes to click in her seatbelt she winces. 

He notices, of course he does, any injury of hers he seems to hyper focus on. 

“Sorry just turned a bit.” She mutters pain shooting through her abdomen. 

He leans in, pulls her seatbelt across and clicks it for her. He leans back his face still in front of her and cups her cheek. 

“All good,” he breathes out and she can’t resist his lips inches from hers and so she doesn’t. 

She presses her lips to his, they are slightly chapped from the flight with a little bit of salt from his sunflower seeds. He starts to pull back a bit and she whimpers moving her upper body to keep him with her. The seat belt cuts into her shoulder and her hand goes up to cup his face as her tongue pushes against his lips. Whatever doubt he had a second ago seems to dissipate as his fingers mingle into her hair as her tongue caresses his. It’s over far too soon, but she is still a little breathless. He seems shy all of the sudden looking at her lap, her tongue darts out to taste the last little bit of him that is fleeting on her lips. He looks up at her and she chews her lip a bit. Her eyes casting into his, begging him silently to accept her. He finally smiles and so does she with a huge grin that hurts her face because he finally gets it. She reaches up to stroke his cheek. 

“So umm..” she chuckles now a little nervous herself, looking down at her lap.  

But he turns her face to him, his hand warm on her cheek as the door still stays open he leans in and kisses her again, deeply, the way she has fantasized about his tongue searching for answers inside her mouth. She can’t help but moan a bit as his other hand frames her face. This time when he pulls back his nose nuzzles hers. 

“Groceries, pills, food, movies and a sleepover?” he asks. 

She grins. 

“The perfect first date.” she says her eyes shining into his. 

“Geez Scully setting the bar a little high aren’t we?” 

He is nervous but he is also smiling too. They both know it’s not really a first date, they’ve been on hundreds, but it is the last first date they will ever go on. There won’t be anyone else, hasn’t been anyone else in years. She tilts her head to the side regarding him as he is still leaning half way into the car. 

“I don’t know Mulder, keep kissing me like you did and I would say you’ve certainly exceeded my high expectations.” 

“Oh did I? Better than you expected and better than you hoped?” 

She grins and pulls him in to kiss her again. “Well I’ll let you know when we get past the easy part” her voice catches just as she gives him another soft kiss. 

 He laughs and gives her another small peck before shutting her door. She watches him walk around the car, the blush on her cheeks and the thought of him spending all night kissing her making her finally feel warm all over, she doesn’t feel death on her shoulder, she finally feels more alive than ever before. 

[maxbegone]

IT’S FINALLY HERE!

In an effort to spread some love to the fanfic authors in the Schitt’s Creek community, this post is a compiling of some of our favorite fics! Thank you to every single person who decided to participate in this dedication of love! And to the fanfic authors out there - thank you for being so wonderful and sharing your stories with us! Here’s to many more countless hours of reading - day or night! 

There are repeats! I understand that may seem a little redundant, but I wanted everyone who participated to share their favorite fics regardless of repetition, author, pairing, AU, size, etcetera. 

A very special thanks to everyone who participated! 

@bestwisheswarmestregards // @brighter-than-sunshine  // @danieljradcliffe @darnitdraco  // @imargaery  // @justwaiting23  // @leopxld-fitz // @lickrustdavid // @loveburnsbrighter // @oceanavinfinity @poorguysheadcanon​ // @ratchet // @roguebabyinyourstore @stuck-on-your-heart // @thisbuildinghasfeelings​ // @vulcantastic​ @wlwbaudelaire​

I’m going to go ahead and put everything under the cut, because this should be quite a long post! 

**If there are authors on tumblr whose handles were not properly added, please send me a message!

@bestwisheswarmestregards​

Fic 1: Ace Of Hearts by loveisallyouneed21

Why I like it: It is just really sweet and made me really happy. Plus I like seeing Patrick as an asexual being one myself. I don’t see a lot of ace characters in the media so seeing someone portray Patrick, a character I love, as one makes me really happy. 

Fic 2: An Unexpected Arrival by @justwaiting23​ 

Why I like it: It was one of the first fics I read in this fandom and I fell in love with it. Plus the Brewers are in it and I love anything with the Brewers. 

Fic 3: Hammock by @maxbegone​ 

Why I like it: This fic makes me so fluffy inside. Early morning and snuggles are one of the best combinations. 

@brighter-than-sunshine​

Fic 1: Your Wings Prepare To Fly by @icmezzo 

Why I like it: I’m not the biggest fans of AUs/ Fantasy takes on fics, but the characterization of David and Patrick is so good here. It’s such a beautifully written fic, and I just couldn’t get enough of it when I first read it! A definite reread.

Fic 2: Today and All the Days that Follow by @unfolded73​

Why I like it: This one is one of my all-time favorites, because it explores so many of the relationships between all the characters… I especially love the bits including Stevie and Alexis. 

Fic 3: Little Reminders of our Love by @justwaiting23​

Why I like it: The whole idea of David and Patrick leaving each other notes was too adorable not to recommend this fic!

@danieljradcliffe​

Fic 1: Watching Through Windows by @helvetica-upstart​

Why I like it: Some fandoms have those fics that just inevitably change the game and define what fanfiction can be and for me, this is that fic for Schitt's Creek. It is a staple that everyone's read and continues to talk about and recommend a year after it was published; I'm sure we will continue to talk about it for years to come and to recommend it as new folks come into the fandom.

Fic 2: Until Now Gives Way to Then by swat117 

Why I like it: I just read this one-shot recently thanks to your (feel free to edit this how you need for your post) recommendation of their other fic, 'Exposed Brick.' This is a fic that (for me) completely captures why David and Patrick fit and work so well together and how their pasts have made it possible for them to be who they are as a couple in SC. I haven't read another fic that resonated with my own interpretation and appreciation of their relationship as much as this one. This author truly and completely sees them for all that they are.

Fic 3:  Red White and Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth​  

Why I like it: I saw this fic published earlier this year and wanted to read it so badly but figured I should read the source material (Red, White, & Royal Blue) first so I did and absolutely fell in love with that book (who wouldn't?). I attribute this fic for inspiring me to read Casey McQuiston's book and so when I went to finally read it, I had extremely high expectations and even still, this fic exceeded them. The author does an amazing job of incorporating aspects of the original book (RWRB) while keeping the story true to the characters and relationships we know and love in Schitt's Creek. I read the entire fic in one sitting and then instantly, read it again. It is laugh out loud funny while being romantic as hell and keeps David and Patrick incredibly in-character throughout.

@darnitdraco​

Fic 1: Red White And Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth​

Why I like it: this fic is the reason I bought Red White and Royal Blue. Going into the fic, I didn’t know what the book was about so it was all new to me but it was great nevertheless. Now that im almost finished with the book, I love this fic even more. I know its an AU but I think the characters are written well and I pretty much love any fic when Rachel isn’t made out to be the bad guy. Its 13 chapters and I will 100% be rereading it after I finish the book. 

Fic 2: Nothing Burns Like The Cold by @wildxwired​

Why I like it: This is a one shot and definitely Patrick Centric. I thrive on Angst and Hurt/Comfort. I personally feel like it is Patrick coming to terms with a things he didn’t have control over and him getting closure on things of the past. I don’t want to give away too much of the plot but please read this guys!! 

Fic 3: sometimes good things fall apart by @blueink3 

Why I like it: I have reread this multiple times and it gets better each time. Its only 4 chapters but it isn’t rushed. As I said above, I THRIVE on angst and hurt/comfort. This has both, AND protective Patrick. It is a spin on what could’ve happened after the barbecue and it has a happy ending so don’t worry.

@imargaery​

Fic 1: Dodgeball is f*cking stupid by alldaydream

Why I like it: This is a one-chapter piece that comes in just under 6k and yet the author manages to build a super rich AU experience and tell a complete story that is at once heart-wrenching, sweet, sexy, and thematic. If you want angst that doesn’t last too long, that leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy, this is the one-shot for you. I go back to it as much as I go back to some of my favorite D&P scenes from the show.

Fic 2: if not for you by goingmywaydoll

Why I like it: When it comes to fanfiction about our boys, there’s almost nothing I love more than a high school AU. This is that. But it’s also a ROAD TRIP. What better scenario is there for a slow burn, mutual pining, dialogue heavy love story with plenty of bed sharing and nobody bothering them?

Fic 3: Beneath the Winter Snow by Distractivate

Why I like it: Can you tell I love a good AU? This one’s about the Olympics and it imagines a world in which Patrick and David have already fallen in love, had a relationship, and have broken up. This is a story about them finding their way back to each other--which isn’t hard because they have to be around each other all the time and work through their issues. It’s written with grace and thoughtfulness, and walking with Patrick and David as they learn to communicate with one another and work on healing makes the reunion that much more satisfying.

@justwaiting23​

Fic 1: hit me with your best shot by @ignisgayentia​

Why I like it: This is a bit of a random one but it has stuck with me ever since I read it. It’s a short little AU about David and Patrick meeting at a baseball game where Patrick is one of the players. It’s really sweet and does such a great job of keeping the voices in character, especially with the flirty teasing and awkwardness and is one of those fics I go back to over and over again.

Fic 2: Spills & Thrills by storieswelove

Why I like it: This is one in a series of ‘Meet-Uglies’ that the author has written which I adore but it’s my favourite one out of them. It has the perfect mix of awkward interactions which make you cringe and also really sweet and fond moments between the two of them.

Fic 3: You Can Plan on Me by odofidi

Why I like it: This is a sweet little piece of marital fluff about the first Christmas after the wedding. It fits exactly with my idea about what married life would be like for them and is really sweet, plus I always love it when the Brewers are able to see Patrick so genuinely in love with someone like that so it’s definitely one of my very favourites.

@leopxld-fitz​

Fic 1: best wishes, warmest regards (sent with confetti effect) by reymonova (costiellie)

Why I like it: This fic is just pure fun. The character voices are always perfect, and it’s such a nice addition to the series. This story is full of incredible one-liners and I think about “th*nk y*u” at least once a week. A must-read for anyone who loves a good Stevie-David friendship moment. 

Fic 2: Going Down by @concannonfodder​

Why I like it: This is a perfect AU. Rich David? Check. New York? Check. Patrick’s gay awakening? Check, check, check. This fic feels as real and in-character as any canon events of the show, and the author does an incredible job at lining up a love story for the ages all over again under completely different pretenses. Plus, who doesn’t love a “stuck in an elevator” trope? I would watch 10 movies based off of this.

Fic 3: I’ve Never Liked A Smile As Much As I Like Yours by hagface

Why you like it: I live for college AU’s, and this one doesn’t disappoint. I love how the author repositioned characters and events for a new setting, and David as a picky art major is all I ever could have hoped for. Character interactions are pitch perfect and there’s a true “paint me like one of your french girls” pining moment that was truly glorious. A great read!!

@lickrustdavid​

Fic 1: Tonight I’ll Drift in A Dream With You by torakowalski 

Why I like it: It’s rare to find such a well-written fic with a great family dynamic that makes you feel like you’re almost just reading a script for the actual show instead of an idea. There’s something soft and comforting about reading cohabitation with Alexis and David and Patrick doing there own things on separate sides of the motel room. 

Fic 2: A Week with the Brewers by @justwaiting23​ 

Why I like it: The dynamic with David and the Brewer’s is genuinely authentic and it’s made me flash back to some of my own experiences with partners parents. The fact that Patrick’s totally willing to have sex while his parents are there while David is mortified at the idea is also great and realistic. I feel like this fic also shows how partners grow and learn to communicate with one another and trust them. 

Fic 3: Welcome to Cabaret by @vivianblakesunrisebay​

Why you like it: The concept of David being more included in the whole Cabaret experience was something I definitely appreciated, since during the show I was kind of bummed with the lack of him. Stevie is wonderfully written in my opinion, and I really liked Patrick going on dates with the choreographer and watching David figure out how to cope. 

@loveburnsbrighter​

Fic 1: Small Projects by GCLane

Why I like it: My ultimate comfort fic.  Soft relationship feels and loving, passionate discussion of fiber arts, plus nuanced discussion of coming out and fitting in and what it means to be queer.  Also David trying new things and doing his best, which is also fun (he learns to knit!)

Fic 2: You and Me and This Temptation by @leupagus​

Why I like it: Another comfort fic!  Musician Patrick/manager David.  It's funny asf and super sweet at the same time.  Plus it does justice by Rachel, and made me totally love her.  Also, I was never sold on AUs of any kind and this is the fic that converted me.  I re-read it when I need cheering up and it never fails.

Fic 3: The Moment I Touched Down by rockinhamburger

Why you like it: Patrick learning about David's past and being the sweetest most sympathetic bean :(. This one is full of tragic backstory and good emotional hurt/comfort.  Super cathartic to read, and it makes me want to wrap David and Patrick both in big hugs and protect them from the world.

@maxbegone​

Fic 1: my heart was broke, my head was sore by @blueink3

Why I like it: This was the first fic I read since coming into the fandom. It’s canon-divergent, which, as it turns out, I kind of love. It’s so beautifully-written; a story about David meeting the Brewers much sooner than he anticipated, under unforeseen circumstances that take Patrick back to his hometown - and David is right along with him. And just like in every universe, Marcy Brewer is an angel.

Fic 2: Cleanser by @cypress-tree​

Why I like it: Hello and welcome to my comfort fic! This is just the most soothing story. It’s my wind-down fic, and every single time I read it, it makes me want to do my own in-depth skincare routine (that I already do morning and night). But it’s not just about that - it’s about Patrick taking a look at his identity as well. It’s all so tender and sweet, and so intimate in its own lovely way. David pampers Patrick a little bit and shows him that “femininity” and “masculinity” do not have rigid divides. And the first time I read this, I was wearing a mask from LUSH.

Fic 3: keep my spirit strong, you do by fishypots

Why you like it: Content warning; eating disorders, food issues. This hit me square in the chest. It resonated with me in a way I knew it would but struck so much more within me. By the end of it, I was smiling because of how represented I felt. I know this is a difficult topic for some, but I needed to share this fic. As someone with dysmorphia and struggles with disordered eating, it was such a comfort to read about David, who is a character so vulnerable and his partner who doesn’t pester him with questions. Instead he listens, he does a little research (it’s Patrick, of course he does), and remains by him. It’s all written so realistically and tenderly, and without any jabs or awkward nods toward body image. This will forever be at the top of my list.

@oceanavinfinity​

Fic 1: I Carry These Heart-Shapes Only to You by ladyflowdi, ships_to_sail

Why I like it: It is a work-in-progress au set in Paris during WWII. Patrick is a soldier on leave, and David is a gallerist who sailed to France to help Alexis (as usual). The characters are so, so true to canon, and the world building of Paris in that era will whisk you away from your current place. I love it.

@poorguysheadcanon​

Fic 1: bright lights by falconeggs (series)

Why I like it: my favorite schitts creek fic is definitely the series “bright lights” on ao3!

@ratchet​

Fic 1: In the Temple of Artemis by MoreHuman 

Why I like it: This story has Stevie exploring (with some help) the identifier of Aromantic after navigating what she thought were her romantic feelings for David. Really sensitively written, with a scene that almost perfectly puts into words my feelings about David & Stevie’s soulmate-esque relationship.

Fic 2: David Rose, Your Husband Is At Guest Services by @patricksdavid​ 

Why I like it: Husbands! At Costco! Giant muffins and comically large bags of doritos! 2071 words of pure domestic fluff! What more could you ask for?!

Fic 3: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman 

Why I like it: Okay so. This is very new as part of the Reel Fic Fest, but I needed to include it. I love Wild, both the book & movie, and I am very much a “deal with my problems by hiking/biking in the forest” so this spoke to me immediately. Patrick and David meet as strangers hiking 1500 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. There’s nature, pining in nature, tent shenanigans, tent emergencies! Stevie being an excellent friend from afar, a cribbage board, journaling, secret trail register entries, David in flannel, and an ever-present toque. It’s just a really satisfying and calming 30k words with literally 2 characters. I read it twice in 12 hours.

@roguebabyinyourstore​

Fic 1: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman 

Why I like it:​ I like a good AU as much as the next person, but this one is just STUNNING. The descriptions of the pain and struggle endured by both men, both physical and emotional, was vibrantly visceral. David and Patrick’s relationship bloomed organically and you are hooked on their journey through the wilderness as they grow closer and eventually fall in love. Plus it’s Patrick’s POV. What’s not to love?

Fic 2: Getting Over Getting Older All The Time by Distractivate  

Why I like it:​ You’ve heard of slow burn? Well meet glacial burn. This masterpiece takes us through 10 years of friendship, of missed opportunities, of pining and heartbreak. But most importantly it shows what we all knew - David and Patrick will find their way to each other regardless of time and distance. Also Patrick’s POV, I sort of love Patrick Brewer.

Fic 3: You Could Be The One by bigficenergy 

Why I like it: ​I have a soft spot for early relationship David and Patrick. But almost no fic does it quite like this. This fic highlights points from our boys’ developing relationship scored by the incomparable Carly Rae Jepsen. This fic is so true to the characters, their voices and their story, that it’s all one giant headcanon for me. This fic is part 1 of a larger series and I highly recommend all of them.

@stuck-on-your-heart​

Fic 1: a kiss from a rose by mihaly ( @davidroseshusband​ )

Why I like it: This was the first multi-chapter fic I read when I joined the sc fandom, and I hadn’t read fic of any kind in over a year. It’s a brilliant story where Alexis stars in a reality-dating show. All the characters are portrayed so perfectly in this fic, and you can hear their voices in every piece of dialogue. It’s sweet, it’s hot, it’s everything you could want in an AU. This story helped me fall in love with fic again so it has a very special place in my heart. 

Fic 2: Rose’s Eleven by leupagus

Why I love it: This story honestly feels like a movie. I know the concept is based on a film franchise, but the writing in this fic is truly exquisite. It’s so complex and gripping, and there’s a heist which is always a good time. Despite the very different world these characters are in, they are still true to themselves, so it’s very exciting to see how they interact with one another in this universe. This is such a fun read from start to finish and just thinking about it makes me want to go back and read it again.

Fic 3: Simply the Vest by orphan_account

Why I love it: If you couldn’t tell, I’m obsessed with AUs. This fic is such a satisfying AU because it incorporates several tropes that we all know and love. In this story, Patrick is an FBI agent, and he has to go undercover as David’s boyfriend. So right off the bat there’s fake dating! And then it has pining because our boys are dumb! AND THEN it has a little smut if that’s your cup of tea. And while all this is happening, Patrick is being capable and looks very dashing in his FBI vest.

@thisbuildinghasfeelings​

Fic 1: Happy to help by @vivianblakesunrisebay​

Why I like it: This was the first Schitt’s Creek fic I fell in love with when I started exploring what was out there after bingeing the show for the first time. It’s basically a deep dive into Patrick’s POV from Motel Review through Grad Night. It really helped me appreciate Patrick as a character when I was fairly new to the show. I think I formed a lot of head canon regarding Patrick’s life and backstory based on the things I enjoyed in this fic. And it’s just incredibly well written.

Fic 2: turn down the lights, turn down the bed by @hudders-and-hiddles​ ( @wild-aloof-rebel​ )

Why I like it: I love this take on David and Patrick remaining just business partners until Rock On. I can be a bit of a canon purist, so I’m really picky when it comes to AU fic. However, there are actually quite a few I enjoy in this fandom. My favorite thing about this one is that it has the exact right amount of angst, to the point where it’s almost physically painful, but in the best possible way. Especially because you know how it’s going to end. This is angst with a happy ending executed perfectly. And it’s so good that it holds up to multiple rereads.

Fic 3: my heart was broke, my head was sore by blueink3

Why I like it: Another canon divergent AU that I love. This one diverges from canon after Grad Night, at which point Patrick has to go home for a family emergency and David goes with him. What I really love about it is how it puts Patrick in a position to be truly vulnerable and gives David the opportunity to kind of be the strong one and really take care of Patrick. This is something we don’t get to see to this extent in canon until maybe Meet the Parents, so it’s nice seeing it here so early in their relationship. Also, it’s just so beautifully written.

@vulcantastic​

Fic 1: no other version of me i would rather be tonight by wardo_wedidit

Why I like it: I’ve always enjoyed the concept of love languages, and it was so sweet watching David do so much for Patrick to show he loves him. Of course, it stems from fear and anxiety that David isn’t doing enough for Patrick (especially with Alexis egging him on), which reads very realistically to me. I think we as the audience tend to forget that David  has never had anything like this before, has never experienced the love of someone like Patrick. He’s still learning how to accept that love and return it, in his own unique ways. This fic does a great job of examining that.

Fic 2: Exposed Brick by swat117

Why I like it: To me this is the perfect “Patrick and David visit New York” fic. Patrick is characterized so beautifully here; we not only see how he aims to please throughout his relationship with David but in his interactions with Rachel and his family as well. I imagine there was a lot left unsaid on the show regarding Patrick’s uneasiness about moving to New York and David’s ultimate decision to stay with him in Schitt’s Creek--this is explored wonderfully here. Plus, as a new New Yorker, it was really nice to read about all the iconic places in and around Manhattan.

Fic 3: we’ll take the world together by sonlali

Why I like it: I am a sucker for stories that examine David and Alexis’ relationship before the start of the show. This fic in particular is heart-wrenching, touching on the trauma both siblings likely experienced before we as viewers knew them. I love the idea of David as protector of his younger sister, and to see that sentiment returned by Alexis now that they have grown (physically and emotionally) while living in Schitt’s Creek is beautiful to read.

@wlwbaudelaire​

Fic 1: you’re my peace and my quiet by chocobos

Why I like it: This fic is just so soft and sweet and always puts me in a good mood whenever I reread it. It’s wonderfully written and I can truly see this as an actual scene in the show. 

Fic 2: Terrified But The Truth is This by ryry_peaches ( @loveburnsbrighter​ )

Why I like it: As someone who’s had a headcanon that David is autistic since I started watching the show, this was the first fic I saw pertaining to it. I was happy to see how well it was portrayed, especially giving how poorly I’ve seen fics portray autism in other fandoms, and it even made me see the episode “Girls' Night” in a completely different light. 

Fic 3: Putting Down Roots by @this-is-not-nothing​

Why I like it: Absolute domestic fluff is my jam and this fic delivers it and then some. It gives me everything I could want in a post-canon fic where David and Patrick are happily married and living in their cottage.

Again, thank you to everyone who made this post possible! I am so happy we were able to spread some love and cheer to the fic writers of this community! Sending so much love to each and every one of you, and I’m hoping this provides some new material for the community to discover as well! 

[2-cute-4-school]

Vox in umbra

Group : NCT

Pairing : Huang Renjun x gn!Reader

Genre : angst, fluff

Word count : 8.2K words | M.list

Warnings : mentions of death, cursing

Summary : Inspired by the anime ‘Given’ | ‘ I’m willing to give you half of my heart to fill up your own.’

Renjun neared the bench he regularly occupied ever since he attended middle school. He deemed it the perfect spot, a corner of Heaven where he could rest his soul and body in the vast shadow of an oak tree that covered the seat. It was a safe spot where he could escape the hectic world he lived in and his friends’ weird antics that could become annoying from time to time. The isolated bench was namelessly his, his own cloud of comfortable silence. But now, an unknown figure occupied his spot, shuffling around awkwardly under the shade of the tree.

You shuffled in your seat clutching the guitar case close to your chest, the rough folds of the fabric digging into your thighs leaving red marks on your skin. Renjun’s steps, although faltering slightly, swiftly reached the side of the bench as he stared holes into the side of your head. Despite his obvious attempts at getting your attention, you didn’t pay him a single glance. He awkwardly cleared his throat, making your turn your head towards him and gaze up with a somewhat uninterested look.

“This is my spot.”

You looked around a bit at his words, shifting around. After a few moments of unsettling silence, you met his eyes once again with the same kind of look.

“I don’t see your name anywhere.”

Renjun sweat-dropped and he felt his upper lip lightly twitch upwards.

“Can I at least sit here too?”

Silently, you scooted over, leaving enough space for Renjun to sit at a comfortable distance away from you. You sat together, the soft breeze caressing your cheeks and making the grass graze your ankles. The uneasy atmosphere unnerved you, your habit of softly racking your nails along the surface of the case absentmindedly.

“Do you know how to play it?”

Renjun motioned with his head towards your guitar, regarding it with curious eyes. You hummed under your breath before shaking your head, a few rebellious strands of hair falling like a curtain in front of your face. Renjun tried to suppress a scoff at your answer.

“Then why do you carry it around?”

A beat of silence followed as you pondered over your thoughts.

“I broke it.”

“What do you mean you broke it?”

“I don’t know, it just happened.”

“Can I see?”

You nodded and eagerly unzipped the plain black case and Renjun noticed a teal sticker stuck on it spelling out the letter ‘J’, carefully pulling out the shiny instrument and stretching out your arms towards Renjun who stared in awe at the guitar, forgetting to ask you if your name started with a ‘J’. He believed he was experienced enough to be able to tell when a musical instrument was of high quality and the guitar he was entrusted with probably even exceeded Mark’s, his bandmate who had been obsessed with said instrument ever since he was a child, perfecting his skills over the years.

“I think this is more expensive than my entire existence.”

You merely shrugged at his statement, gazing worriedly at it. Getting over the initial shock, he lowered his gaze to find the problem, his eyes immediately zeroing on the snapped chord. He pinched it between his fingers and looked back at you.

“Is this the problem?”

You nodded, chewing on your lower lip. He chuckled at your useless scare.

“This can be repaired in a few minutes.”

Your eyes seemed to light up as they snapped up, locking with his as a hopeful look bloomed in them. The sudden eye contact brought a pink hue to Renjun’s cheeks and ears, making him advert his eyes anywhere else but at you.

“Can you fix it then?”

“No”

You deflated as quickly as you previously jumped up in your seat, lowering your gaze to the carpet of grass surrounding the bench you sat on.

“Please, I’ll pay you back.”

“It’s not about that. I don’t know how to and neither do I have any chords.”

“Oh”

He handed you the guitar and you put it back in its case, zipping it back up. Renjun regarded you as you dejectedly settled back in your spot, guilt pooling at the back of his mind. He tried to push back his thoughts and just settle for a few minutes of silence, but the waves of sadness rolling over from you and the sight of you slumped over like a kicked puppy drove him insane and burned through his heartstrings.

“Ah fine! Fine! I’ll help you, just stop looking like that!”

You flinched at his raised tone, your wide eyes racking over his standing stature as he fretted around.

“Excuse me?”

“I know someone who can fix your guitar right away, I can take you to him, but do you have any money on you?”

“Huh? Are you trying to rob me?”

“Yah, is this how you show your appreciation for me trying to help you? Fine, forget it. Good luck getting it fixed.”

You grabbed on his sleeve at his attempt to turn around and leave, moving the case with your guitar away and also standing up.

“Wait wait, I’m sorry. Please help me.”

You bowed your head, still gripping slightly on his sleeve. He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So? Do you have any money?”

“Oh, yeah, I do.”

“Good, we’ll make a stop on our way to buy some chords then. Can we go now?”

“Yeah yeah, sure.”

He turned around without a second glance and started to walk away. You scrambled to pick up the case and swing it over your back, slotting your arms through the handles and hurry to catch up to the boy. You walked side by side with him, taking the chance to properly study his face.

“You know, I’m not supposed to follow strangers.”

He craned his neck to face you at your words, smiling slightly at you, taking you by surprise at his change of mood. You were amazed by how a mere smile could change the entire way he looked, making you also soften at his open display of subtle cuteness.

“I’m Huang Renjun. Now that you know my name I’m not a stranger anymore, right?”

The corners of your mouth also twitched up and you averted your eyes in the opposite direction from him, taken aback by the intensity of his gaze, an indescribable passion burning alight in his bright orbs. You kicked a pebble on the sidewalk, following the way it rolled to the side.

“I guess.”

~

To say that Renjun was bewildered was an understatement as he watched you, whose name he only found out after Mark had asked you, curled up on the floor of their practice room with your newly fixed guitar in your lap. Your wide eyes stared as if in a trance at the way Mark’s fingers glided expertly along the chords of his own guitar, explanations and tips leaving his lips as you absorbed every word.

“Hey hey hey, I only brought you here so he could fix your guitar, not teach you everything he knows!”

Renjun’s frown deepened even more at the crestfallen expression you wore once you lifted your head to face him. Those kicked puppy eyes would be the death of him. He didn’t dare glance in your direction, fixing his glare on Mark.

“What’s got your panties in a twist, Renjunie?”

“I just- why are you wasting your time doing this?”

“I’m not wasting my time helping a passionate newbie.”

“We’re supposed to practice once Jaehyun and Chenle come back.”

That seemed to light up your eyes.

“Can I stay and watch?”

“Yes”

“No!”

You stared up at Renjun who still avoided your look, trying to stay firm.

“Please?”

He couldn’t. He had to be stronger than a pair of glassy eyes and a wobbly bottom lip. He was a man, a hardcore ice prince with a heart made of stone, there was no way a puppy face could make him melt and-

“Please sunbaenim?”

“Fuck, fine, but don’t get in our way or I’m throwing you out myself.”

“Yes, I promise you won’t even hear me breathe.”

“I really hope so.”

He waved his index finger at you as if tutting a young child. You nodded your head excitedly and Mark watched the encounter with fond eyes.

“Come on gramps, go easy my new pupil.”

Mark got up, motioning for you to also stand up and move to another corner of the stuffy room from where you could properly see all of the instruments. He laid Renjun’s jacket on the ground so you wouldn’t sit on the cold floor and if Renjun noticed it, he chose to stay quiet about it.

“Wait wait, new pupil? Are you serious, Mark?”

“Why are you so against this? It’s none of your business in the end.”

“I mean- I’m just- you know what? Fine, do whatever you want, I don’t care.”

Mark smirked victoriously just as Jaehyun and Chenle returned with water bottles and they started fixing their instruments for practice. Chenle noticed you sitting in the corner, watching them with wide curious eyes.

“Are you staying to watch us?”

You nodded, albeit a bit hesitant in case he or Jaehyun disliked the idea. At the sight of your nod, Chenle’s straight face broke into the widest grin you’ve ever seen, his shrill yells of excitement deafening everyone in the room as he bounced up and down. You also smiled at his open display of happiness at having someone watch them sing.

After Jaehyun and Renjun calmed an overjoyed Chenle, everyone took their position, Jaehyun at the drums, Chenle at the piano, Mark with his guitar slung over his neck and Renjun only warming up his vocals. Mark counted out loud for everyone and with that they started practicing.

You were astonished already when Mark played his guitar for you a little bit earlier. But what you felt when their music reached you was a sentiment that you couldn’t describe with words. It felt complete, like you finally pinpointed the missing piece of yourself you’ve been searching for your entire life. You felt your lost butterflies again.

You waited quietly until their break and as soon as they declared they would take a 10 minute break you sprung up, rushing over to Mark and startling both him and Renjun as you stumbled over your own feet in your spur of energy. You gripped Mark’s sleeve, gazing into his eyes with burning orbs, passion and determination seeping from them, taking all of the others aback.

“Teach me, please, I want nothing more but to learn how to sing.”

Mark chuckled, snapping out of his moment of bewilderment. He raised a hand to pat the top of your head. Renjun watched, still shocked, catching a glimpse of his old self in your voice, in the way your eyes sparkled brighter than the sky full of stars at the thoughts of creating music.

“You didn’t have to ask twice.”

~

That’s how you found yourself attending their practices as often as you could, spending any free moment both you and Mark could afford to teach you. Mark was a surprisingly good teacher when his explanations didn’t confine to just ‘go with your feeling’ and your devotion and will to learn as much as humanly possible assured you of a mostly smooth sail. Your progress in just a couple of months was admirable, exceeding even your own expectations, but Mark insisted you were akin to an undiscovered genius and an unpolished gem, even though Renjun always tried his best to find a small imperfection of yours to drag on and on about.

Despite your bickering with Renjun, or more like Renjun picking at any crumb of a mistake he could find, you two developed a habit of walking home together even though Renjun had to walk a bit more than he would usually have to after bringing you home. You also started spending your breaks together at school, mostly talking about music and their band in the comfort of the shade provided by the tree under which you first met months ago.

So it was no surprise when you decided to spend yet another evening in their stuffy practice room with your guitar in your lap and Mark guiding you through the chords. The rest of them were packing up, exhausted after hours of practicing, allowing you some extra learning time with Mark.

“You know, I didn’t expect you to last this long with him as a teacher.” Chenle prodded at you once you also got up to put your guitar back in its case.

“Hey, what do you mean by that?!”

“Yeah, you’d fit nicely in a band soon enough.” Jaehyun trailed off.

“What?” Renjun’s head snapped up, regarding his other band mates who all watched you knowingly. He could tell what they were trying to do and he didn’t know if he should protest or encourage the idea.

“Uh, thanks.”

At your answer the boys couldn’t help but share a somewhat confused look, before Mark cleared his throat.

“Sooo, what do you think?”

“Sorry, about what?”

Chenle couldn’t help but face palm. Were you really not getting their innuendos or was this your way of politely declining them? Renjun oddly hoped it was the first option.

“Jeez, are you really that slow? Do you want me to spell it out for them?”

You looked up at him, making him halt in his rampage of words. Blood rushed to his ears, reddening them at the sight of your confused eyes searching his for an answer that he chose to deliver. He waved a hand in front of his face, as if the fact that you flustered him with a mere look would simply vanish and gathered his thoughts once again.

“They’re asking you to join our band.”

You blinked faster as if waking yourself up from a daydream.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Renjun, shut it! I mean, only if you want to, we can take things slow with you, but another guitarist wouldn’t hurt and your voice sounds nice from what I could catch so we could try some harmonization with Renjun, you know?” Mark’s rambling broke the awkward tension.

“Don’t you have a concert in like 2 months? There’s no way I can learn so many songs in so little time, I’ll only drag you down.”

“You don’t have to sing with us the entire time, just as much as you can learn until then and after that, you’ll have enough time to catch up.” Jaehyun reasoned with her, keeping a somewhat more straight face.

You looked up at Jaehyun. Their band had no real leader, but everyone went to him for advice or just when in need of a calm conversation. He was the band’s rock, everyone leaned on him  when it came to decisions.

“Could I really?”

Your voice was small but hopeful, a reignited flame after a stormy night. Jaehyun’s dimples showed as his lips spread into a fatherly smile. He nodded firmly as they watched you lose yourself in a spiral of downright dizzying happiness. Renjun wondered if he’s ever felt so strongly about such a trivial matter as he watched in wonder as you let yourself free your emotions fully for the first time.

“We all agreed on it, didn’t we?”

“More or less.”

“Renjun!”

“Welcome to the family, rusty but warm.”

And warm did you feel the rest of the day. Not even the harsh night winds that ruffled your hair on your walk home could extinguish the rising flame lighting up your soul that reflected in your eyes your fierce desire to prove yourself worth to the boys that accepted you in their small family.

Renjun stared fondly at you from the corner of his eye, at the light skip in your steps as you held your chin high, showcasing a smile so sincere in outshone the moon. Your giddiness pulled at his heartstrings in an odd way, gazing contently at you like a crushing primary school girl. You slowed down your pace, making Renjun also stop beside you and meet your shiny eyes.

“Thank you, Renjun.”

“You shouldn’t thank me, I had little to no say in this.”

“Still, you could have insisted to kick me out.”

“I had no interest in kicking you out. Sure, you’re not nearly ready enough for concerts and what not, but there’s enough time to teach you. You’re worth every moment of extra practice.”

At his last sentence, you seemed to totally melt into a puddle of overflowing thankfulness. Your smile widened, revealing your gums and also softening Renjun’s whole demeanor. Your eyes almost closed, the muscles in your cheeks aching from how wide your smile was and Renjun couldn’t seem to avert his gaze away from the whiskers forming at the corners of your eyes.

Watching your innocent joy felt like a breath of fresh air after drowning for the longest time. Renjun felt his emotions flying unbound as he tied his happiness to you, he knew this moment would be burned into his soul. His hand reached up hesitatingly to lay on the crown of your head and caress you gently, carefully threading the tips of his fingers through strands of your hair. He felt right, in the right place, at his most heart fluttering time.

“Y/N? Is that really you?”

Renjun had never seen a smile die so fast and turn into shock and maybe fear. You both turned around, coming face to face with a boy, most likely around your age. His eyes were trained on you, never averting his eyes from you, disbelief seeping deeply into his eyes. Renjun could see your figure shaking, standing unsure on your legs like a deer caught into highlights.

“I just want to talk, Y/N, I’m sorry I never reached out to you after the funeral. I know it must have been even harder for you so please..”

Renjun’s confusion overflowed at the other’s remark.

“What? Y/N, who- Hey!”

Before he could even turn back to you, you sprinted away from them, running as fast as your legs could take you without looking back even once. He spluttered at the sight of your retreating back but he had no time to also spring into action as the boy wheezed past him, attempting to catch up to you. The boy could barely take a few strides before Renjun gripped the back of his collar, rendering him to a sudden stop.

“Hey! Let go, asshole!”

“Where do you think you’re going, Y/N for sure doesn’t want to see you.”

The boy swiftly faced Renjun, eyes ablaze with frustration and stepped up close to him in hopes of intimidating him.

“What do you know? I need to talk to Y/N.”

“Well, they don’t want to so fuck off.”

“Who do you think you are?”

Renjun took a deep breath to contain his rising fury. He didn’t know who this boy was and he could only think about your frightened stance.

“Her friend from whom she definitely wouldn’t run away from. I think I’m the one who should ask about who you are.”

“Hah, name’s Jaemin. I’m Y/N’s childhood friend, no need to apologize, you must have not recognized me.”

“Never heard of you.”

“So mean!”

While Jaemin whined about you never telling Renjun about him, Renjun ran Jaemin’s earlier pleas for you over in his head. He frowned before interrupting Jaemin’s rambling.

“What did you mean by funeral?”

Jaemin straightened up at his question, all hints of childishness gone from his face. He sighed deeply, meeting Renjun’s eyes with an icy expression and worry seemed so seep even deeper into Renjun’s bones.

“You really don’t know anything, do you?”

Renjun didn’t say anything, just stared pointedly at Jaemin, waiting for an explanation to clear the fog clouding his thoughts. Jaemin’s gaze seemed to get lost, looking through Renjun with a straight face.

“I don’t think it’s my place to talk to you about this.” his eyes flickered to the guitar enclosed in the case slung over Renjun’s back “Are you in a band? Is Y/N in it too? Like playing the guitar and everything?”

“Oh, um, yeah, we were coming home from practice.”

Jaemin scoffed but there was no real malice in his reaction. Actually, a small smile slipped on his lips. His dreamy eyes sparkled knowingly.

“That’s Y/N for you, taking one’s words to heart.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Look, uh...”

“Renjun”

“Look, Ronjeon, why don’t you ask Y/N directly? I have no right spilling their life story to a stranger.”

“It’s Renjun. And I’m not a stranger, we’re band mates,” he paused for a moment “we’re friends.”

“Still not my place, sorry. Talk to them on your own if you’re really friends. And put in a good word for me, I just want to talk for a bit, clear up a few things, apologize and maybe gain my friend back.”

All playfulness vanished in that moment, a suffocating atmosphere taking its place and only raising more question marks for Renjun.

“Anyway, I’ll see you around, Ronjeon.”

“It’s Renjun for God’s sake!”

Renjun watched Jaemin’s retreating back helplessly. Snapping out of his confused daze, he quickly fished in his pocket for his phone, searching for your contact and dialing it. He felt his breath getting stuck in his throat with every ring that passed unanswered, until your voice mail connected. He considered trying again, but decided against bothering you further that night and waited for the next day in order to talk to you.

~

But getting a hang of you seemed almost impossible. You were never in your class when he came by, nor were you by the bench where you used to hang out. He always searched the cafeteria for you during lunch break and scanned the school yard every time he passed through it. You even missed a couple of practices with an apology texted to Jaehyun saying that you simply weren’t feeling well and that you would practice on your own at home.

Renjun felt helpless. He feared that whatever relationship you had was barely hanging on a thread, but he couldn’t just drop the matter. If it affected you that bad he though you might need someone to talk to. and he wanted to be that someone, he wanted to be the person you could come to without fear of being judged, the one you could freely talk to. He wanted to be there for you.

So when you finally started coming back to practice, he watched you from the sidelines too afraid to crowd you, but at the same time impatient to get to talk to you.

“Y/N.”

Your head snapped up at Jaehyun’s voice. He looked at you expectantly and you put your guitar down to walk up to him as he waited beside the door. The rest of the boys locked eyes, sharing worried looks.

“Let’s go out for a little.”

Your blood froze in your veins. Was he going to kick you out for your absence? Or just scold you? Despite your growing confusion, you stepped outside,, following Jaehyun. He leaned against a wall, watching as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other and fiddling with the sleeve of your sweater.

“Relax, Y/N, I didn’t call you out to argue with you.”

“Oh...right.” You still didn’t seem convinced.

“First of all, I want you to write some lyrics. It’s something each of us has done when we joined the band.”

“About what?”

“Whatever you want, whatever you feel. Just let your words flow.”

You watched him, hoping for more indications, but none came. You nodded a bit unsure of yourself.”

“I’ll try my best.”

“Good.”

You waited for Jaehyun to continue, you knew this wasn’t the end to your conversation. He wouldn’t have pulled you out just for this. The silence pressed you and you collapsed under the pressure of guilt.

“I’m sorry, I know I should work the hardest out of everyone here yet I’m the one missing practices. I promise I’ll work harder, please let me stay.”

He stayed silent for a moment before he chuckled, reaching out to pat your shoulder comfortingly.

“It’s alright, I just wanted to check on you. Renjun has been really restless, you know?”

You lowered your gaze ashamed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Look, I don’t know what happened and neither am I expecting you to spill your past and secrets to me. But Renjun cares about you a lot, in a different way from me and Chenle and Mark. I just wanted you to know that.”

Jaehyun’s words left you speechless. Sure, you and Renjun had gotten a lot closer in the past months and you trusted each other just as much as you enjoyed to tease each other. Spoiler alert, that’s a lot. But never have you thought of Renjun in a different way from a precious friend. It felt like a betrayal, a lack of loyalty from your side so how could you admit your growing feelings without tearing yourself apart? But now that you took a moment to think about it, he was the only one who managed to reignite the fire at the bottom of your stomach. Could Renjun be the one to break your promise to yourself and make your heart beat unruly again?

“I...I care about him too.”

Your words were vague, not making it clear if you cared for Renjun more than a friend should. Jaehyun pushed himself away from the wall, standing up to his full weight and showing you a soft dimpled smile.

“Good. I want what’s best for both of you. Talk to each other, let him know you value him, whether if that’s as a friend or something else. Life is too short to let things go by you without cherishing them.”

His last sentence left you shell shocked. It felt so close to your heart. You never considered the way life can flash before your eyes and watch something you once considered to be in the palm of your hand vanish with the retreat of an ocean wave.

“Come on, I don’t trust Renjun and Chenle alone in a practice room surrounded by expensive equipment.”

You rushed to him as he waited for you while holding the door. You let giggles spill past your lips, knowing that no matter how dark the world seemed, maybe you were not truly alone.

~

“Hey, Renjun, are we walking home together?”

His hand froze on his neck, gripping harder onto the bunch of tissues he used to wipe the beads of sweat rolling down his neck. Everyone pushed themselves to their limits during practice, the atmosphere becoming intense and fast paced and the confinement of the room didn’t help with the rising temperature.

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

You exchanged a few more words with Mark, who was hellbent on taking you under his wing and teaching you everything he knew. You were so thankful to him for his advice you often didn’t even know how to show it. So the least you could do was pay attention to his every word and try your best to show him your best progress. After packing up everything you bid goodbye to your other band mates and followed Renjun out.

The night air was chilly, but you let it embrace you, grateful for a breath of fresh air. The streets were quite empty, only a few hurried students rushing home and adults with bags full of groceries, yet it didn’t concern you. If anything, you preferred the serene atmosphere the starry night emanated. Yet you knew you had to break the comfortable silence eventually.

“This isn’t my guitar.”

Renjun’s face tried to stay impassive, but the confusion laced onto his features couldn’t be easily concealed.

“Did you...Did you steal it?”

“Yeah, from a homeless blind old man.”

Renjun halted suddenly at your serious tone, his gaze boring through you. You also stared at him, maintaining your serious expression for a couple more moments before your face also morphed into confusion.

“You know I was joking, right?”

At that, Renjun broke into awkward and forced chuckles, bringing a hand up to the nape of his neck and rubbing it in embarrassment. He resumed his walking with you beside him.

“Pfft, yeah, of course I knew, haha, yeah”

“You were reconsidering my sanity and our friendship, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, I was.”

It was silent for a while before Renjun sorted out his thoughts again.

“So whose is it?”

You tried to hide the deep breath you felt the need to take. You promised yourself you wouldn’t back out no matter what, but when confronted with a question that needed an answer everything felt so much more real. Suddenly everything you worked hard to bury in the deepest drawers of your memories surfaced and brought up the feeling you wanted to avoid the most. But this was Renjun, the first person to approach you after you lost everything without any hesitance. You owed him the truth.

“It was my boyfriend’s.”

Renjun felt his heart fall to the pit of his stomach. Restlessness pooled at the strings of his heart making his hands clench into fists, but he couldn’t react in anyway. In the end, he was nothing but your friend, he was only supposed to support and listen to your concerns and he would be damned if he couldn’t even do that.

“Oh” his tongue felt heavy in his mouth and words had to be ripped from between his lips “did he give it to you?”

“His mom gave it to me.”

Now he didn’t know what to think anymore. But he was sure of one thing, he could feel the tension and anxiety rolling off of you in bitter waves.

“His mom gave you his guitar?”

“Yeah.”

He tried to piece things together but he couldn’t come up with much.

“Did his name start with a ‘J’?”

“Yeah, his name was Jeno. Remember the kid we met a while ago? That’s Jaemin, they were best friends.”

Your poor attempt at explaining your reaction at the time still didn’t make sense entirely in Renjun’s head until he rolled over your words in his head. He suddenly turned somber, not knowing how to phrase his next question.

“Was? Were?”

It took you a moment to push the words out through gritted teeth.

“He’s gone.”

“Gone as in...”

“Gone as in dead, yes.”

Renjun stumbled then. The once comfortable silence turned tense and suffocating, squeezing the pieces of your shattered heart with every ounce of strength left in willpower. Renjun tried to catch a glimpse of your face in an attempt to decipher your feeling even in the slightest, but even when he laid a gentle hand on your shoulder you refused to slow down or raise your head from behind the curtain of hair that fell over your eyes.

“Y/N”

You kept on walking, Renjun dragging himself after you.

“Y/N, stop, please.”

Still no response. His worry toppled over, confusion and distress making him lose his composure. His fingers tightened on your shoulder, yanking you to face him and halting you in your steps.

“Fucking talk to me, Y/N!”

“I don’t know what else to tell you, okay? That I loved him more than I thought loving was possible? That I thought there would never be an end to what we had? That the moment I lost him I also lost all the love I had to ever give? That despite my promise to myself to not allow myself to lose more that I have already I still let you get to me?”

“Get to you?”

“I care about you, you idiot! I value you more than I value what’s left of my feelings!”

Renjun, who listened crestfallen, was snapped out of his stupor by your exasperated retort to his question. You forced your head away from him, avoiding his prodding eyes while Renjun tried to turn you to face him almost desperately.

“I care about you too, Y/N.”

To his surprise you shook your head, shrinking into yourself.

“No, it’s better that you don’t.”

“Jesus, Y/N, you can’t just tell me to stop.”

“I can’t do this, please let go.”

Renjun’s heart was beating crazily, unable to express his turmoil with words while also keeping his composure. The hand that wasn’t gripping you firmly shook with caged emotions that threatened to overflow and spill unstoppable past his lips.

“How long are you going to deprive yourself of happiness, huh? How long are you going to keep yourself hung upon your past lover when you have your entire life ahead of you?”

His words finally got a reaction out of you, although not one he wished to. Your orbs locked onto his, burning with a withheld rage and maybe passion without shying away in the slightest. You ripped yourself out of his hold forcefully, stepping back from him without breaking eye contact, instinctively reaching a hand back to touch the guitar that hung in it’s case.

“You don’t get it, Renjun, you can’t!” Your voice softened, a swirl of emotions glistening on the surface of your eyes “I’m carrying his dream on my back and he’s carrying half of my heart with him six feet under.”

Your display of vulnerability locked Renjun’s mouth. He regarded you conflicted over his choice of words. You seemed lost, confused at the way you itched to let yourself voice out your pain, your suffering, your longing for something that won’t return but at the same time called for a revival of the spring screaming to break free in your soul.

You felt warmth enveloping you, blocking the chilling wind that swiped across your flushed cheeks, a gentle, cautious hand sneaking its way into the strands of hair at the back of your head and guiding your head to rest against a welcoming shoulder. Renjun made you feel safe, he reignited a flame, but not one that threatened to burn you down. He gave life to a flame that offered you security and the feeling of a newfound home. At the sound of his soft voice, you knew the dice have been already thrown.

“I’m willing to give you half of my heart to fill up your own.”

~

“Renjun!”

He turned to you, smiling confusedly at your slightly reddened face. He assumed it might have been the forever stuffy air of the cramped practice room. The show was the following day and so you all spent all of your free time together, hours after hours of practicing. You and Renjun were closer than ever even though the heated talk of that night remained unfinished. You two had a silent agreement to focus on the show for now rather than your personal problems, but that didn’t stop you from leaning on each other more than before.

“Uh, here.”

You stretched out your arm in front of him, fingers clasped over a sheet of paper. Renjun skimmed over it once he took it from you, recognizing your handwriting. His eyes widened once he realized what exactly you handed him.

“I know it’s out of the blue and just one day before the show and in no way do I expect it to be used even though the instrumental for this song is finished, at least not tomorrow. I just thought you would like to look over it and just- I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“It’s alright, Y/N. I’m happy you decided to write them, you never said anything about how it’s going with your lyrics so I assumed you weren’t working on them yet.”

“Oh, I..well...uh, yeah, well they’re done. I think, yeah.”

He chuckled at your awkwardness before you scrambled to continue packing your things and go home with him. Renjun raked his eyes over the scribbled title of the song and smiled dreamily as he ran his thumb over the ink.

Half of my voice

~

Your nerves have been on edge the entire day, feeling the blood rushing through your veins first thing in the morning and keeping you wide awake and overexcited the entire time. Thankfully the show took place on a Saturday so you didn’t have to sit through an entire day of school, bored out of your mind and bouncing in your seat at the thought of the evening that was to come.

You and your band mates met up in the lobby of the local that hosted the small concert hours before the start. You were instructed about the schedule and everything and Jaehyun stayed behind to talk to the owner with whom he seemed to already be friends with. You scrambled around, jumping up and down in a poor attempt to keep your excitement under control.

“Y/N. Y/N!”

“I should practice a bit more, shouldn’t I? Where did I put my guitar? What if my chords snap? What if-”

Mark’s hand settled on the nape of your neck, pinning you in your place. His face tried to stay firm but he just couldn’t help the fatherly smile slipping on his lips. Your wide eyes stared at him, questioning him.

“Please stop running around, you’re making us nervous too. Also don’t you dare touch that guitar until I tell you to, you’ve practiced enough.”

“But, but-”

“Y/N.”

You huffed, your lips forming a pout unconsciously which made Mark sigh. He knew practicing in the last moment could do more harm than good, but your kicked puppy face made him falter in his attempt to play the leader role with you. Renjun’s light laugh echoed in the backstage room as he approached you and cupped your face with one hand, squeezing your cheeks together and only deepening the pout of your lips. You furrowed your eyebrows together, watching his smug face carefully.

“Be confident in yourself, Y/N~! We all trust that you’ll give the best of you and knock everyone off their feet so trust yourself too.”

You felt warmth spread across your face and you ripped yourself away from his grip before he could tease your flustered state.

“Fine.”

You tried to look unbothered at Renjun’s action but everyone could sense your cute uneasiness as you turned your back to him and trudged towards Chenle who watched the exchange, amusement dancing in your eyes. Chenle stretched an arm out to ruffle your hair before slinging it over your shoulders to bring you closer and show you some game he was playing on his phone.

Jaehyun returned soon after, looking quite relaxed as he announced the start of the concert.

“The first band will play for about 30 minutes and then we’re up so take this time to make sure everything is good. Oh and Y/N, someone’s looking for you, I told him to wait in the lobby.”

“For me? Who?”

“Dunno, he looks around your age. Go, but don’t take long.”

You had an idea about who it might be and the mere thought of facing him made you hesitate to exit the safety of the current room. A hand slightly nudged you forward and as you looked back Renjun’s encouraging gaze gave you a sudden bravery to face him. You had to eventually so why not get it off your chest now? You trusted that Renjun would be here waiting for you once you returned, assuring you everything would be alright.

You nodded, more to yourself that to the others and left the room with your head held high. Just like Jaehyun said, Jaemin was waiting for you in the lobby, shifting from one foot to the other as he stayed glued with his back to the wall. You strode towards him, locking eyes with him once you stopped in front of him. It was silent for an awkward moment before Jaemin cleared his throat.

“Um, hi, Y/N.”

“Hi.”

“Sooo, you’re in a band.”

You nodded in return.

“And you’re playing tonight.”

“Seems so.”

“Huh. How the tables have turned, am I right?”

You recoiled at his words and at your self protective stance he seemed to recollect his choice of words.

“Wait! I didn’t mean it in a bad way! I’m sorry if it seemed like that. It’s just, he would be proud of you, I’m sure. And I am too.”

“Jaemin.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. I just wanted to, you know, apologize. I’m sorry for not reaching back to you when you needed me the most. I’m really sorry, I was just in a very wrong mindset, I was looking for someone to blame for his death.”

“So you thought that I was the best choice?”

“No,Y/N!”

“It’s okay, I get it. I blamed myself too. After all, I let him leave my house when it was so late at night and raining. If i insisted for him to stay the night, he would be-”

“Stop, Y/N! There was no way you could have known this was going to happen, okay? No one blames you. No one, not me, not Jeno’s family and I know for sure Jeno himself would never blame you. So what I wanted to tell you is that it’s time you stop blaming yourself.”

“I...Jaemin, I just...”

“I know, I know that my words are a tad too late, that you spent all this time blaming yourself for something completely out of your power. But I wanted to let you know that no one thinks you’re at fault. And that you need to let go of him and live your life. Jeno loved you so much and that’s exactly why instead of wasting your life away, you should live and love for him.”

Your walls just shattered at his words as you slotted yourself against his familiar hold, his protective arms caging you against his chest and holding you the way he used to ever since you were children. And weirdly, you could feel Jeno’s arms around you too, bidding you goodbye and cutting off the painful longing for forgiveness you held in your heart. You finally felt free, you felt ready to love again.

You let Jaemin go, straightening up and wiping your cheeks of leftover tears that you didn’t even notice before. Jaemin also tried to subtly swipe his sleeve over the corners of his eyes to hide his emotional state and you didn’t comment on it.

“Thank you, Jaemin.”

His bright smile showed itself as he patted your shoulder and pushed you towards the room you came out of.

“Hush, why would you thank me? Now go and make us proud! Hurry!’

And you just knew what he meant by ‘we’, which only widened your smile. As expected, Renjun waited for you, meeting your eyes as soon as you came through the door, his understanding gaze melting you even further. He understood, he was there for you and that only spurred you even further to break your self made cage.

“Just in time, we have to go up soon. Remember, Y/N, after our new song the lights will go off for long enough for you to leave the stage, okay?”

You nodded. You would only sing with the guys for half of their time on the stage since you didn’t have enough time to learn all of their older songs. As you moved to stand beside the entrance on the stage, Renjun gripped your hand, guiding you to look at him.

“I’m here for you.”

You know he didn’t only mean it for the concert. And you also knew Renjun would be the one to whole your heart once again. You were more than ready to face everything as long as you had him by you. As if he could hear your thoughts, he squeezed your hand. That was the thing about Renjun, he was your voice but he needed no words.

“Okay, let’s rock it!”

Jaehyun led you all on stage, readying everything. As the lights turned on again, you felt life surging through you, you felt alive. You finally understood Jeno’s endless words about the inexplicable sensation he felt on stage. You felt in a world of your own, surrounded by your friends, by people you could trust, by people who admired you. Your fingers glided along the chords as if pressing on your own heartstrings, following a familiar and comforting path that tickled your ears and ignited the butterflies in your stomach to come to life stronger than ever.

At that moment you decided you loved playing the guitar, you loved music, you loved your band mates, you loved your life.

You didn’t even feel the way the songs you played flew by you, nearing your final song. This song felt like home to you, a weird start to the rest of your life. But as the first tunes of the melody rolled by, Renjun’s voice echoed in the microphone and across the local.

The words you spent nights tying together on a piece of paper rolled off Renjun’s tongue as if coming straight from your heart. They felt real, an intimate confession shared between lovers caressed by the moonlight while standing on an empty street. You felt as if you heard them for the first time, as if he whispered them to you while holding each other, wrapped up in your own world, away from the blinding lights and prying eyes right there, in the shade of the oak tree where you met. And as the song came to an end, your tearful words were finally voiced out by your newfound light.

You’re my long lost wordless voice

The one who gave me a choice

Who drifts with the echoes of my laugh

My only other half

The lights went off just as they were supposed to, allowing you enough time to scurry backstage breathless while the public erupted into loud cheers, clapping and cheering overtaking the room. But you didn’t retreat, you couldn’t control yourself anymore, the adrenaline and heart clenching emotions getting a hold of you.

You took confident strides forwards where Renjun regulated his breath, stepping back a bit from the microphone. You slid the guitar to rest sideways on your hip and gripped Renjun’s shoulder with a hand, your other one resting on the nape of his neck.

“Y/N, what-”

You didn’t allow him to finish his sentence as you pulled his head down and slotted your lips against his. He melted against you, kissing you back with as much fervor as you did, putting all of your buried feelings in it. You couldn’t seem to get enough of each other, getting lost in the addictive closure you both allowed yourself to savor. You barely acknowledged the lights coming back on. What snapped you out of your daze was rather the intensifying yells that came from the public that had to witness your intimate moment.

You broke away from him as if lightning struck you. The public seemed to enjoy the free melodramatic moment, teasing the both of you to not mind them. While you wished for the floor to split and swallow you whole in embarrassment, Renjun seemed rather smug considering the situation. He turned towards you, the hand on your waist tightening.

“Well, if our dear public is asking-”

“Thank you!”

You ripped yourself away from him, bowing deeply and sprinting backstage, leaving behind a flabbergasted Renjun and a slightly disappointed public. You slapped your already red cheeks as if to wake yourself up.

‘Did I just make out with Renjun? And on stage in front of 200 people on top of that?! I must be crazy, you’re out of your mind Y/N Y/LN!’

Despite your self reprimanding you couldn’t fight off the proud smile slithering onto your face. You kissed Renjun. And he kissed you back. You allowed yourself to be happy and he wished to teach you how. He was willing to teach you how to love again.

The guys continued their stage, acclaimed by the public like never before as you watched them proudly from behind. Once the end of their segment came, Renjun was the first one to bolt backstage after thanking your listeners. He rushed away from the prying eyes to meet you who waited for him with the widest smile you could muster.

Renjun knocked into you, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off your feet to swirl you around with such a childish laugh. He captured your lips in another kiss, this one rather light-hearted and innocent making you feel like a dandelion swiped in the gentle spring breeze.

“Okay, okay, we get it, you like each other, don’t stick it in our faces.”

Renjun lowered you slowly and you averted your eyes to the floor shyly at Chenle’s teasing words and the others’ amused stares. But Renjun didn’t back down and neither did he remove his arms away from you. If anything, his grip tightened, his thumb tracing patters into the fabric covered skin of your hips.

“Shut up, big head, you’re only jealous. And I don’t like her.”

You lifted your gaze, meeting Renjun’s glazed over eyes. They had a glint in them, a sparkle of relief and something else.

“I don’t like her. I love her.”

You smiled a bit bashfully back, silently telling him the feelings were reciprocated but the audience wasn’t helping you with your timidness. But Renjun understood you, as he always did, wordlessly, just a shared look and bonded souls. And you finally understood yourself too.

Jeno was a fading echo. Renjun was your newfound voice.

[imagine-loki]

Pride and Prejudice

TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 59 AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.     RATING: Mature   NOTES/WARNINGS: Forced Marriage, not all fun and games. My first real step back into the Loki scene in over a year.

Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901

Ella did not want her parents to leave Jotunheim. She loved having her family and friends from Asgard there with her. She used the opportunity to see as many from home as she could through their time on Jotunheim and to spend time with her friends as well as juggle being in court with Loki and also dealing with readying for the baby. 

Loki’s vision for their rooms was not vastly different from hers. The most notable thing she noticed was that he wanted to keep her and the baby as defended as possible by altering the location of the bed so that he was more positioned to defend them both if there was reason to. Knowing that it was something of a peace of mind for him, she merely agreed and assisted with her seidr to allow his request to occur. Satisfied, he seemed more settled leaving both soon-to-be parents more at ease with everything to come. 

Watching her parents ready to leave, she inhaled deeply and ensured that her emotions were not to the fore. Ever the perfect depiction of a royal, she remained stoic and unemotional. 

Thor joked and jested with both Aesir and Jotnar with whom he had grown close to, especially through their shared experience on the battlefield while her parents spoke mostly with other realm royalty. 

Odin ensured to find himself alone with Laufey for a few moments. 

“I would have thought you would want as little to do with me as possible now that such is no longer required.” The old Jotunn commented as Odin created a chair for himself to sit on beside the Frost Giant. 

“Long before we warred, we spoke as two young and often foolish kings. Time has changed many things but I hope one of them is not your ability to converse.”

Laufey sighed. “I ignored that trait for a time and it cost me greatly but I still have it.” He looked over the realm that could be seen from the balcony on which they were sat. below them, Loki was speaking with Grengro, one of the Nidavallir dwarves on a matter. “It is a trait I ensured he exceeded me on and to his credit, he has surpassed anything I ever achieved on the matter, even if he did almost cause destruction with ignoring it as I once did.”

“He is young. Sometimes in youth, we do stupid things. I am only relieved that his came with no cost of life...in the end.” Odin growled as he added the last part, recalling Ella’s ill state when he was called from Asgard due to her ailing health. “Now look at him, speaking to those not even you ventured speaking to.”

“High praise from you of all beings, Allfather.”

“I always said that he would be an able king. Never let that be forgotten. I questioned his suitability to Ella and that worry showed that it had credence when he nearly killed her but nonetheless, both of them persevered in the end, and now look at them. An able king. Jotunheim will know great prosperity once more.”

“And our grandson?” Laufey asked. “One of both of our lines, Norn’s who would have thought such possible after the onslaught of war?”

“Even with the ability of Allsight available to some, it is never truly possible to predict what is to come. Jotunheim and Asgard are bound by blood. In the years yet to come, my son will find himself a wife and with that, have his own heir and our realms shall be ruled by cousins, bound by blood and hopefully comradery with it. It will strengthen them, I would think, but only time will tell.”

“Your wife does not share your hope,” Laufey commented. “Through all of this visit, she has been apprehensive.”

“Look at it as she sees it. Your son almost killed our daughter with neglect, he cast aside our tradition of a Queen standing beside her husband on the throne. I understand that the tradition is different here but Frigga, Vanaheim is stricter than even Asgard on those sorts of protocols and thus far, none of Ella’s traditions seem to be included. I know this is nothing you can control with regards to your son, but see it as my wife does or try at the very least. It is a very peculiar manner in which to do things. Of course, she is apprehensive.”

“And you, Allfather?”

“My opinion on the matter holds little standing.”

“Yet you have one?”

“Opinions are peculiar things. We all have them, they are all indeed valid as they do not have to even be based in fact and truth yet as they are singular to ourselves and in our minds, they all hold credence yet at the same time, they hold none as they are not required for anyone else. I have one but it does not matter, good or bad.” Odin growled his response. 

“You may not say the words, Allfather but your eye and face do. You disapprove.”

“My daughter is nothing but an asset to your son. It would have been a simple acknowledgement to her standing to have given her some modicum of recognition.”

Laufey did not press the issue any further. He understood Odin’s thoughts even if he did not agree with the sentiment. The Jotnar and the Aesir were different in many aspects, this was simply one more. Ella’s title meant little. She was the mate of his son, his only one and the mother of the next king so her standing in that manner alone gave her significantly elevated status, giving her a title was not required, in his opinion. “You can control many things on many realms, Allfather but even this is beyond your or indeed my own intervention.”

“There is much yet written but some parts of it are more set in stone than we think.” He looked at Gungnir in his hand as he spoke. 

“I often fear what it means when you ramble in manners in which few others understand.” Laufey watched Odin carefully. “What is it that you are planning, Allfather? How does it pertain to my realm?”

“I plan nothing for Jotunheim, it is not my domain in which to do so without due cause and your son gives me none but change is indeed afoot here.” 

“How so?”

“That, it would seem, will be revealed to us all in the near future.”

Laufey knew he would not get a clear answer, so he said nothing more, hoping that whatever the Allfather had planned, it did not bode ill for Jotunheim.

*

“Ella?” She looked around at her mate. “I fear I need to tell you…”

“They’re leaving.”

Loki looked sadly at his mate. In the days that her close friends had been present, as well as her birth family, her mood was far more cheerful. Usually, her demeanour was a pleasant one, especially since everything was smoothed out between them but it paled in comparison to the mood that she had when her two realms were all but one. Seeing her face go from one of curious intrigue as to why her mate was calling her to one of heartbreak at realising what was to come, he knew she was suffering and felt sorry for her. “I am afraid so, yes.”

Swallowing harshly and with her nostrils flaring as not to allow herself to cry, Ella nodded and rose to her feet. “Very well.” Her voice was small and cracked with the sound of her sadness. “I guess we better go see them off then.” Using her seidr, she altered her clothing and went from a comfortable and loose-fitting dress to one more in keeping with her position. “Shall we?”

“I’m sorry.”

Loki’s apology caused Ella to frown. “Why?”

“Because this is hurting you in a small manner and I wish it did not.”

“Well, it is not your doing but thank you for the sentiment.”

She walked out of the room without saying anything more, Loki followed soon after. 

The Aesir were the last group to leave Jotunheim. Those not overly fond of the realm but felt obliged to be there for the coronation were the first to leave, soon after, Prince Nigel found himself very much rushing to return to Vanaheim and not long after that, all but the Aesir had departed the realm. 

Standing in front of her parents, having said goodbye to her friends, Ella forced herself to remain stoic, knowing that using a clone to bid farewell was not the right thing to do, even if she wished she could. 

“Do not fret, Mother.” Ella found herself rolling her eyes as Frigga looked at her worriedly. 

“I do not envisage seeing my daughter again before the labours of childbirth, do not tell me not to fret,” Frigga argued. “If you need a healer for anything, do not hesitate to have Heimdall inform us and one shall be here, is that understood?”

“Mother, women have birthed safely in caves, I think I can handle this.” Frigga’s worried face caused Ella to internally curse her mother’s lack of faith in her. “But of course, if there is an issue, I will be sure to call upon Eir. I have no plans to die in childbirth.”

“None tend to plan to do so, yet many have.” 

“Mother, I rather not consider such things. I will continue to speak to you in our usual manner through everything.” Ella found herself wishing that her mother would leave the matter to rest. 

“We shall. Until then.” Frigga curtsied to Ella who returned the gesture in kind. 

Thor simply gave a wave and shouted to demand he be told when his nephew was born, if only to begin bestowing gifts that were entirely unsuitable to him, such as weaponry. Ella soothed Loki’s worries by stating that Thor was merely jesting, though secretly, she suspected he was not entirely convinced herself that he was not. 

Then came Odin, who walked up to the pair and watched as they stood straight and waited for his parting words as they had done her mother’s.

Odin started by looking at Loki. “You have, thus far, kept your word to better tend to my daughter. Now, more than ever, you need to not only keep your previous promise to me but uphold it even more as she gives you a son. Give the same diligence you give to that to your realm also as its king.”

“I shall,” Loki swore. 

Odin nodded, satisfied that he meant it. He then looked at Ella. “And you, keep your…”

“Mouth shut and ears open.” She smiled. 

“You would have made a terrifying Queen. Perhaps it is for the best that you remain in the wings, listening, out of their line of sight so that you can better scheme.”

“I do not need such a title to be terrifying, Father.”

“No, you do not. You have held that accolade without such until now, but after today, I fear they will be even more worried as to your silence.”

Ella frowned at her father’s peculiar words. “I do not…” She was stunned into silence as Odin moved his hand forward, Gungnir in its grasp. For another moment, Ella stood in silent shock before her own hand went out slightly. “No.” She pulled her hand back. “Why?”

“I fear the inevitable has occurred. Gungnir no longer is faithful to me. She yearns for her new wielder, of which, I am not.”

“But I…”

“Take it.” 

Ella did as her father commanded and placed her hand on the staff. As soon as she did so, she felt a surge of energy flow through it to her. “It never did that before.”

“No but yet it does now.” Odin, whose hand was also on the staff felt the energy flow through it before relinquishing his hold on it. “I suspect there is a valid reason for such.”

“What…?”

“The staff is not even reacting to your seidr, I would think.”

Loki, who had been standing next to both of them in stunned silent until that point, looked at Odin with even more bewilderment at that statement. “Then who…?”

Ella looked at her stomach. “Him.”

“The…” Loki could not process what he was hearing. “Could a Jotnar…?”

“It requires a strong seidr wielder to control Gungnir. Ella can do so with ease. She never needed a way to focus her power, she does not need it to do her bidding, she is powerful even without it. But my Grandson, his seidr will not be as strong as hers, but with Gungnir, he will rule Jotunheim with more power than any king before him.”

Loki felt a surge of both pride and fear at such a thought. He thought of his son, the future of Jotunheim with enough power to defend the realm from almost any foe. “But what of Asgard? Surely you would want…?”

Odin chuckled. “Asgard is not without its defences. Also, Thor wields Mjolnir. Because he does so, he could never wish to command Gungnir. It would rot in the weapons vault after my ascension to Valhalla. But that is irrelevant. It has already decided. I am too old and weak to wield her fully now. Now it is time for it to go to its next wielder. Ella will use it until the boy is crowned, then he will become its wielder.” 

Odin’s words were clear to comprehend for all those present. Any who thought that Loki was to be a weak king were realising quickly that none before him would have been as strong and the one after would be stronger still. 

“I guess that this will assist in stopping his seidr from surging too greatly.” Ella quibbed before looking at her father worriedly. “But it has been aiding you, what will you do?”

“Grow old, weak and feeble like every man before me,” Odin commented. “As is the way of life. I have no intentions of living forever. My time is coming to an end. I am not gone yet but I think it is obvious, I need to accept my mortality, something I ignored for too long.” He nodded to himself. “Now, rule this realm as it deserves to be. I await the news of my grandson’s arrival and for the love of the Norns, don’t give him some foolish Midgardian-esque name.” Odin ordered as he walked back towards Frigga who was looking at her husband worriedly, wondering how he would do without Gungnir to lean against when he was weak. 

“Why would we choose a Midgardian?” Ella scoffed. 

“Because beings these days love using names from places they are not from, misspelling and mispronouncing them and not knowing their meaning, Migardians especially. At least know the meaning of the damn thing.” Odin growled as he spoke. 

Ella watched worriedly as he made his way slowing back to Frigga. With Gungnir’s power very much connected to hers, she used it to create a walking stick of sorts for her father who looked at it then at her with a small nod in thanks before going to the Bifrost site to be with his wife. “Goodbye.” Ella mouthed the words but no sound came out as her parents, family and friends were surrounded by roaring lights and a moment later, disappeared. 

When silence came to the realm again. Singed ice and ground melted into the shape of the Bifrost in front of her, Ella felt the gaze of all the Jotnar around her upon her and on Gungnir in her grasp. Without thinking, she toyed with it in her fingers in the exact manner her father was prone to doing. Looking at Loki, who seemed just as startled by events as she was, she simply looked back towards the Jotnar palace once more before walking towards it, feeling as though Gungnir being in her grasp was entirely foreign but also incredibly natural to her as she did so. 

[xiaomoxu]

Xu Mo Love Carnival Event (Epilogue)

SPOILER ALERT!!

It's CN server 3rd Anniversary Event, which haven't released in EN server. I only translated Lucien Epilogue part from it.

Brace yourself for fluff and sweet moment from Lucien and MC ☺👀

I'm doing this translation for personal reason, so I'm sorry if there's some mistranslation. Kindly tell me if you found some :) feel free to read it~ ^^

I used Lucien CN name on it, Xu Mo.

The familiar ringtone suddenly rang. I took out my phone and crossed out the alarm clock that I had set in the morning.

MC: The fireworks show will begin in fifteen minutes. Let's go to the square now!

I was about to walk forward with Xu Mo, but he held it back and pulled me back.

MC: What's wrong?

Xu Mo: There's still time, it's not too late.

Looking at my puzzled eyes, Xu Mo squeezed my hand with a light smile.

Xu Mo: Let's go to the place where you want to go most.

With the crisp wind bells, Xu Mo and I stepped into the gift shop.

Unexpectedly, he still remembered the answer I said before, and there was a warm feeling in my heart.

Just as I was curiously looking at the souvenirs on the shelves, some unique keychains attracted my attention.

The keychains painted with graffiti patterns were made into the shape of letters. With a move in my heart, I picked out two keychains with our initials.

MC: Last time we bought two dolls in the amusement park, this time we also bring some souvenirs back!

Seeing my expectant look, Xu Mo smiled knowingly and took the keychain from my hand.

Xu Mo: The keychain is indeed very practical.

Xu Mo: You can take it with you at any time, and...

He shook the keychain in his hand.

Xu Mo: The patterns on these two letters are the same, and when I see them in the future, I will subconsciously think of you.

Careful thinking suddenly was seen through by him, my cheeks couldn't help but get hot

MC: ....However, what I want is this!

I took the keychain marked with the letter "X" from him.

Thinking of the experience of picking a doll last time, I deliberately followed his tone and looked at him with a tilted head and a smile.

MC: If these two keychains correspond to each other...

MC: Bringing it by my side would make more sense, wouldn't it?

Listening to my slightly playful ending, Xu Mo couldn't help laughing.

Xu Mo: It seems that MC always learns quickly when it comes to "teasing" me.

Xu Mo: I will keep the keychain that represents you.

He paused, the smile in his eyes gradually faded, replaced by undisguised gentleness.

Xu Mo: MC, you...

"Ding- Dong-"

The bell sound came from the square.

Xu Mo and I looked in the direction of the square, where people had gathered at some point.

Xu Mo: It seems that time is just right.

The tone was not rushed, as if everything was within his expectations.

Xu Mo took my hand and moved gracefully as if sending out an invitation

Xu Mo: MC, let's go watch the fireworks together.

Bunches of fireworks rose in the sky, blooming in the boundless night sky.

The color that I have chosen is particularly bright in the night sky.

Among the crowd, Xu Mo and I were standing a little behind, but we could have a panoramic view of the scenery.

Suddenly, I pulled Xu Mo's hand.

Xu Mo: What's wrong?

MC: Xu Mo, I just made a wish.

MC: I hope that today next year, we can also spend time together like this.

Another bunch of fireworks bloomed in the sky, Xu Mo looked at me and blinked lightly.

Xu Mo: That's all?

MC: That's all.

Seeing me nodding ignorantly, Xu Mo smiled.

Xu Mo: But for me, it is far from enough.

MC: Huh? So what is Professor Xu's wish?

I made a respectful look.

Xu Mo: I prefer to call it something that will surely come true rather than wish.

Xu Mo: Whether it is next year, the year later, or every year in the future.

Xu Mo: We will all spend together like this.

Xu Mo took my hand and put it to his lips and kissed it lightly.

Xu Mo: We are done.

The next second, the warm touch fell on my lips.

"Boom" Bright fireworks bloomed wantonly in the sky.

The people in the square cheered in surprise. But in my ears, I can only hear the magnified, intertwined breathing sound every inch.

The kiss on the lips is dense and long, with desperate affection and intoxication.

As if to imprint this moment in each other's hearts forever.

As the last ray of fireworks dissipated in the sky, theme music also sounded in the amusement park.

Although I heard this melody many times today, this time I felt a different kind of emotion. It is a reminder that the amusement park is about to close.

As if seeing my reluctance, Xu Mo gently rubbed the back of my hand.

Xu Mo: Speaking of it, I had something to tell you before, but was interrupted by the bell.

MC: Hm? What is it?

Xu Mo chuckled lightly.

Xu Mo: Do you remember my question before?

Xu Mo: Regarding the "perfect day", what do you most want to have....

MC: Of course I remember. I said I want to be my innocent self with you.

Xu Mo: Don't you know if your expectations are met today?

MC: More than satisfaction, it has far exceeded my expectations!

The corners of Xu Mo's lips were slightly curved and gently scraped off the tip of my nose.

Xu Mo: But I think this is not enough.

After speaking, he took out a pink gift box tied with a bow

MC: What is this? I didn't expect Professor Xu to have such a girlish heart.

Facing my ridicule, Xu Mo just smiled without saying a word, and told me to open the gift box.

After opening it, I found a retro hand-cranked music box inside.

MC: Is this for me?

Xu Mo: Yes.

Xu Mo: Music can regulate the cerebral cortex, even awaken people's memory and carry people's emotions.

Xu Mo: So I prepared a music box, the melody inside is the theme music of this amusement park.

Xu Mo: In the future, as long as you play this melody, you can relive this memory and feel our current state of mind.

I turned the handle, and the smart music slowly flowed out. The corners of my mouth can't help but bend upwards.

Xu Mo: In fact, I was surprised by your answer before, why do you want to be innocent yourself.

Xu Mo paused, then said.

Xu Mo: Although people often say that innocence will disappear over time, we will say goodbye to it one day and mature

Xu Mo: But I feel that innocence and maturity may not coexist.

Xu Mo: After all, I can always feel it in you.

My heart softened, but I couldn't help but want to tease him, so I smiled at him.

MC: Professor Xu put a high hat on me again. And, maybe I want to see your innocent side?

Xu Mo was stunned for a moment, and also laughed. He reached out and touched my head.

Xu Mo: Then there is no need.

Xu Mo: Because to me, you are the most innocent part of me

Xu Mo: If you want, every day, I hope to spend the "perfect day" with you.

With unspeakable feelings in my heart, I subconsciously stepped forward and hugged the person in front of me tightly.

He seemed to be stunned for a moment, but soon his slender arms surrounded me with the same strength.

I greedily sucked the breath from his body deeply, and his voice became astringent.

MC: Thank you, Xu Mo.

MC: Let me have the most perfect day.

Xu Mo didn't speak, but gently pressed his chin against the top of my hair.

The light in the amusement park dimmed for the first time. The surrounding crowd also flocked to the exit. But i don't let go.

I know that the amusement park may end, but this memory will always be preserved and stay in our hearts.

In the bustling crowd, we hugged each other quietly. Only when there were only warm yellow street lights left, I left Xu Mo's embrace and happily extended my hand to him.

MC: Let's go too!

Xu Mo: Well, Let's go home.

The palms that are close to each other are like embedding each experience fragment into each other's lines.

The lights on the road ahead are dim. But we seem to have the light of a whole world in our hearts.

-END-