#I h a t e myself lmaooooo

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

Me, rifling thru folders of art I never actually finished: hmmm. I remember i made a few tries at drawing this one scene where Eclipse has Reader trapped against the wall but gave up bc I couldn’t get the POV right and it was making me nuts. Maybe I should retry that

The retry:

Me, wheezing, on the brink of tears: okay nvm

My brain: DRAW HIM IN THE POSE THAT MAKES IT LOOK LIKE HE’S GOT BIG TIDDY LOL

Me: oh no

anyway this is a certified Cursed Sketch and I’m plaguing u all with it. Enjoy

[moon-ursidae]

ALRIGHT YA’LL KNOW THE DRILL HERE

there will be spoilers for all of the last of us part 1 and all of the last of us part 2 under the cut!!

i’ll be sharing my notes and thoughts as i play each session!!

again SPOILERS ARE UNDER THE CUT SO IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS DO NOT SELECT READ MORE

PLAY SESSION 1 (i am horrified)

i just want to start by saying that i already know a decent amount about this game. i never thought that i, myself, would be playing these games, so i watched playthroughs when they first came out. since then, spoilers have been plastered all over the internet. so. yknow. i’m aware of what i’m getting myself into. ANYWAY to the session log!

total play time: 6 and a half hours

HERE WE GO YA’LL

i haven’t opened the game yet AHH

i know the music is gonna ruin me

my heart is beating so fast

i’m configuring settings and i hear water oh god

FUCK IT’S THE BOAT

AHHHH

OKAY THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING

I HIT START AHHHHH

C H I L L S down my body just seeing the neck of the fucking guitar

i’m already tearing up from joel telling the story to tommy

THAT’S PEDRO PASCAL

THAT IS PEDRO PASCAL BITCH

IN THE CAR WHEN HE LOOKS TO THE SIDE BC ELLIE STARTED STIRRING AWAKE??

THAT IS JUST AN OLDER PEDRO BRO

ANYWAY sorry i just understand very much why they offered him this role

STOP THE CUT TO THE LAST CUTSCENE WHEN THE FIRST GAME ENDS I’M CRYING

AND THE MUSIC

FUCK YOU

this looks fucking amazing.

the fucking music. GUSTAVO. GENIUS BRO.

this is fucking gorgeous. i am taking my fuckin T I M E

STARRING ASHLEY JOHNSON TROY BAKER AND LAURA BAILEY I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT

WOOOO

THAT SHOT?? HIM WALKIN INTO TOWN?? JESUS F U C K

ARE WE ALREADY AT THE FUTURE DAYS CUTSCENE????

omg omg she’s listening to the song she sings in the trailer i think A H H

and the bandages on her arm where her scar is 🥺

the way that joel tucks his shirt in now omg such a dad

THE SAVAGE STARLIGHT POSTER🥹

THE STANCE™️

THE WAY THAT MY DAD DOES THIS SAME FUCKING THING WHERE HE’LL GO TO TELL ME A JOKE HE HEARD AND FORGOT IT

I’M GONNA C R Y LATER

HIS AWKWARD LIL STEPS TO THE DOOR TO GET THE GUITAR STOP

“you wanna hear sumn” JOEL PLEASE I’M GONNA SOB

troy has such a nice voice! and also to voice act while singing simultaneously?? crazy

THEY ARE SO-

UUGGGHHHHHH��🥺🥺

it’s always in the prologue that they showcase Joel being a dad and i’m like damn this is how me and my dad are and they’re like “would be a shame if something bad happened” and i SOB

“you kissed dina?” TEA

THE WAY SHE’S LIKE 😶

okay i already very much like jesse he seems like such a nice guy!

again i know what happens just let me have this goddamnit

ELLIE HAS A PS3 THAT’S WHAT’S UP BRO WHAT GAMES YOU GOT??

JAK AND DAXTER SLAY

UNCHARTED 1 & 2 SLAY

this taylor guitar is gorgeous bro AH

the pictures on her corkboard above the bed🥺

i wish we got to see and know more about cat she looks like a cool ass character

is that the toy she stole for sam?? i thought she left that at his grave? so it may be a new one to remember him by? i dunno

DINNER BREAK BEFORE I CONTINUE

okayyyy to the outside… where it’s snowing…. and ellie is wearing this outfit…

and joel and tommy are out scouting…

FUCK

i love how slowly through the environment it tells you how jackson survives. through community. it’s gorgeous worldbuilding.

FIRST CARD HELL YEA

IS THAT BUCKLEY??? AHHHH

AND GUSTAVO!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

HE’S PLAYING A VERSION OF THE LAST OF US THEME AHHHHHHH

I HEAR MARISHA RAY AND MATT MERCER?? AHHHHHHH CRITICAL ROLE CAST COME THROOUUUGGGHHHH

it’s also really wonderful to see kids being kids during this. especially for their age. they’re too young to deal with the bullshit that comes along with an apocalypse world

PEOPLE ARE SHIT TALKING ELLIE BRO THEY LITERALLY STARTING HUSHING EACH OTHER AS I APPROACHED LMAOOOOO

there are so many people at the bar at fucking 6:30am ya’ll

“i don’t wanna hear what that bigot has to say” as you fucking should ellie

also maria is so pretty!!!!

and dina is patroling w ellie?

sooooo many great signs here 🥲

“bigot sandwiches” SHE’S SO FUNNY

CARD #2 BRO YEEEAAAA

“we’re fine” BC THEY HAD THE TALK ON THE PORCH AND 😭😭😭😭😭😭

DIIIINNNNAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

“i’m not even playing!” THERE SHE IS FERAL ELLIE

“i hate this kid so much” okay and i love ellie

“you wanna fuck em up?” THEY’RE SO MADE FOR EACH OTHER YOU’RE JOKING

THE SNOWBALL FIGHT WAS SO FUCKING CUTE AHHHHH

DINA IS SO GOOD W KIDS 🥹

THE SPARKLES IN THE SNOW?? GODDAMN

DO I HEAR KHARY PAYTON AT THESE STABLES??

they even included the detail of farriers dude there is someone cleaning this horse’s hoof

AND YURI LOWENTHAL WOOOOOO

shimmer acquired ��

I DON’T WANNA LEAVE JACKSON DUDE

and the music seems so ominous like HSKAHSKAHSOS

FUCK IT’S THE CABIN

I SAW MEL

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING

THIS EARLY?????

PLAYING AS HER?? THIS EARLY???

THE FABRIC ANIMATION ON HER SLEEPING BAG??? INSANE

listen i have nothing but raging and wholesome love for laura bailey but this one is gonna be difficult

her performance is phenomenal don’t get me wrong. this is just gonna be hard

THIS EARLY??

also they all start exiting a garage

joel rode the horse out of the garage

ellie lives in a remodeled garage/shed

and abby walks out of the garage w owen

idk if that’s a connection at all but just something i noticed i guess

owen also gives me weird vibes idk

this feels wrong being on the stick as abby

yooooooo that’s a really cool camera trick to convey her perception of heights and her fear

the snow and scenery look fucking gorgeous oh my god

FUCK of course he wanted to show her JACKSON

FUCKIN HELL

AND OF COURSE HE SAW JOEL AND TOMMY GO ON PATROL

MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR

“assuming he’s in there, how do we get to him?”

I KNOW WHO THE FUCK THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT AND I’M SICK TO MY FUCKING STOMACH

AND NOW I HAVE TO LEAD HER TO JOEL???

F U C K DUDE I’M KAVSKABSKSH

i genuinely am so fucking anxious dude

like my hands are sweating and my stomach is turning over and i’m gonna vom bro

this is ALOT of dead folks oh my god

DODGE?? fuck yea

OH MY GOD THE WAY SHE STOMPED ITS HEAD AHHHH

this game is definitely more brutal damn

GOD THE INFECTED ARE SO MUCH SCARIER

“where’s the patrol?” NO WHERE. LONG GONE. SOOOOOOOOO GONE.

ellie and dina are so cute together

THE BONG💀

honestly eugene sounded pretty fuckin awesome i would wanna go out like him too

GOD I LOVE SNOWY ENVIRONMENTS

“i was thinking of inviting joel over for a movie” i- wh- 😭😭😭😭😭

cheesy 80s action movies??? MY KIND OF GUY BRO!

ALSO PLEASE NAUGHTY DOG STOP GIVING HIM MORE HUMANITYYYY AND GRAVITAS IT HUURTS

“you wanna meet up after?” “uhh.. okay. i’ll play guitar for you.” ELLIEEEEEEEEEE I SEE YOU

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYYY

i was wondering when we would see infected

dina worried about ellie dying bc of infection and ellie’s like “deal.” 😶

oh shit this storm is picking up HELLA

EUGENE WAS A FIREFLY

i wish so badly for them to go more into joel and tommy’s time after outbreak day jfc

ANUTHA CARD

ANUTHA PS3

damn i wish we had a ps3 in the library

i love the new weapons upgrade system

like you physically see the gun change and add shit onto it

so dope

DAMN! eugene had WEED bro

but this also means….

it’s super close now..

“smash bradi’s cooch” BRO NOT THE PLAY ON NAUGHTY DOG GAME TITLES

omg plz the way she breaks the joint jar

THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE I MEANT TO LOOK AT BEFORE THIS CUTSCENE GODDAMNIT

their chemistry is CRAZZYYYYY dude i feel like i’m intruding on their time

THE WAY ELLIE LOOKS AT HEEERRRRRRR

THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHERRRRRRRR

THE WAY SHE FLICKS THE JOINT AND GRABS HER FACE WAS SMOOOOOOTH AS FUCK

oh no. ohhhhh no. i am now abby. oh fuck.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

A HORDE???? THIS IS HORRIFYING OH MY GOD

THE FENCE IS GONNA CRUSH MEEEEEEEEE

i have to pause. it’s joel. i-

FUUUUUCK

FUCK. HER REACTION WHEN TOMMY TELLS HER ITS JOEL. FUCK.

LAURA BAILEY IS SO GOOD

AND THE WAY HER VOICE GETS SHAKY?

LAUUURRRRAAAAAAAAAA

TELLING THEM WHERE HER FRIENDS ARE AND THAT’S GONNA LEAD THEM TO THE CABIN AND FUUUUUUUUUUUCK MAN.

GOOODDD LAURA’S ACTING. JESUS.

AND THEN CUT TO ELLIE AND DINA AHHH

WAIT I THOUGHT SHE TOLD DINA SHE WAS IMMUNE LATER???? IS SHE GOING TO RN??

SHE IS. OH MY GOD.

i’m lowkey glad she doesn’t believe it

“tommy and joel didn’t show up”

NOT PREPARED

FUCK FUCK FUCK THEY’RE INSIDE THE HOUSE NOW

i literally feel sick to my stomach i’m so worried for him and tommy and ellie bro

tommy’s being so nice to them offering them supplies and everything too GOOOOODDDDDD

FUUUUUCK THE WAY THEY ALL LOOK UP AT HIM WHEN HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF AS JOEL

FUUUUUCK THE SHOTGUN

when i tell you that i am so close to losing my dinner i am not joking

THE EMOTION IN HIS EYES WHEN HE LOOKED AT ELLIE

HE LOOKED SO TIRED BUT SO SCARED FOR ELLIE

i am pausing. jesus fucking christ. (stopped for a good while here bc obvious reasons)

it hurts me knowing that ellie didn’t even have the strength to even stand up when dina found her and joel and tommy.

tommy coming to check on her😭

she looks about as bad as i do rn

my poor sweet ellie🥺

tommy’s so awkward bc he’s probably like “does joel want me to treat her like a daughter? do i carry on what he started? do i try to forge this relationship with her?” and struggling to tell ellie that they may not be able to afford going to seattle if it means that ALL of jackson would be vulnerable. bc he doesn’t like it either. he wants to go for abby too.

FUCK man.

THE HUG.

F U C K

THE HEADSTONE STOP

the lil chair and wind chimes outside🥹

all the flowers out front??????

he really had an impact on jackson🥺

her hand shaking at the door FUCK

HE HAD A COWBOY HAAATTTT����😭😭😭

HIS OWL MUG 😭

IS THIS PAGE OF HER JOURNAL WET WITH TEARS?? AND/ OR TEAR STAINED???

THE MUSEUM PAMPHLET A H H

her drawing of him oh my god i’m C R Y I N G

you can tell he loved her so much. there’s pieces of her all over the house.

HE NEVER FINISHED HIS CARPENTRY PROJECT

THE MIRROR IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM IS OFF THE WALL AND COVERED. JOEEELLLL.😭😭😭😭😭

it looks broken as well. maybe i’m reading too much into it. maybe not

THE PICTURE OF HIM AND SARAH IN A WHITE FUCKING FRAME I’M GONNA LOSE MY MIND

AND A PICTURE OF HIM AND ELLIE NEXT TO IT

no one look at me. no one talk to me. no one perceive me. oh my fucking god.

his jacket and how ellie just stays there. oh my god.

THE WATCH.

THE MUSIC.

I’M FUCKING DONE DUDE.

is that his fucking shirt from the night he lost sarah. i fuckin-

NAUGHTY DOOOOGGGGGGGG

the idiots guide to space book and readers on the bedside table😭😭 SO HE COULD TALK TO ELLIE ABOUT SPAAAACE

bless maria’s heart dude. i love her

SEATTLE DAY 1

omg she’s telling dina the story about the hunter that tried to drown joel in the hotel

alright i’m stopping here before going forward bc i’m fucking exhausted emotionally and physically haha

jesus fucking christ is how i would summarize that first session. jesus fucking christ.

[purplesurveys]

1252

A - Appearance.

What are you wearing? I have a gray turtleneck and brown shorts at the moment.

What are on your feet right now? I never wear anything for my feet when I’m at home.

What color are your fingernails? I say this a lot on surveys but mine are never painted. Nothing against them, I’ve just never felt the need to spend on something like my nails.

What does your hair look like right now? I have apple hair at the moment to temporarily get rid of my bangs, which I am more than sick of at this point.

B - Best Friend

Who is your best friend? Angela and Andi.

What was the last thing you two did together? The last time I saw Angela we went to the BTS pop-up store. I haven’t seen Andi since January, but when we hung out that evening we just had Korean barbecue and we also parked somewhere in UP to just talk about life in my car. My breakup had been fresh at the time and back then I just needed someone to whom I could vent.

What is (s)he doing right now? I’m sure Andi’s doing something with Leigh, maybe having a video call or something since I think they tend to have one every evening. I’m not sure what Angela’s up to but considering her replies have been a bit slow tonight, I guess she’s somewhat busy at home.

Are you talking to her/him online right now? Angela just replied to something I sent her around 15 minutes ago but the exchange wasn’t meant to be a full-blown conversation, if that’s what you mean.

C - Crush.

Who is (s)he? Eh, I don’t have a crush these days; too obsessed with work to figure out what I find attractive lmaooooo. I do have a main celebrity crush and I might just cite them instead so that I can at least fill this section out. 

What does (s)he look like? Curly hair; mismatched eyes; moles underneath his right eye, on his nose, and on his lower lip, and the widest smile I’ve seen on any person.

What was the last thing you two talked about? He’s a celebrity crush...

Does (s)he make you smile? Yes.

D - Dad

What’s your dad’s name? Edgardo.

What does he do for a living? He’s an executive chef for a luxury liner company. He hasn’t worked in a year and a half due to the pandemic and has stayed in the country this whole time, but we’ve *very* recently been informed that he can go back abroad in around two weeks! Of course it will suck letting go of him again after having him back for such a long time, but I’m just glad the family can finally be on track again, financially speaking. It had been something I’ve been worrying silently about.

What was the last thing you two did together? Had dinner last night, but we did that with the whole family too. We don’t really do things that’s just the two of us.

Do you get along better with him than your mother? Yes.

E - Ebay.

Have you ever bought anything from ebay? No. I’m not sure we have eBay here anyway.

Do you just shop around when you’re online? I don’t really shop ‘around.’ I usually have an idea of what I want to get myself, and it’s just a matter of finding the right shop from which to buy.

Do you know anybody who is addicted to it? I know a couple of co-workers who love shopping, like Gabi.

Have you ever sold anything on it? I’ve never tried selling, but I’m actually in the middle of doing something for the very first time – I’ve decided to get into trading! I got my BTS Butter album yesterday but didn’t get to pull the photocard I was vying for – the pull I got, though, was of the most popular member, which means it would be a very easy trade. I put the trade offer up the other day and I finally got a match yesterday.

F - Facebook.

When was the last time you logged on? Like five minutes ago. I constantly check it.

How many friends do you have? Just checked and it says I have 686. I wanna get rid like half of them though.

Do you hate when your facebook chat messes up? Hmm, that doesn’t really happen.

Who was the last person to leave you a wall post? Angela.

G - Google.

Do you Google everything? Yeah, I think I look up a random item or phrase at least once a day. Doesn’t hurt to learn a new thing each day. :)

What was the last thing you Googled? The K-Pop group g.o.d., since my teacher mentioned them in our Korean lessons earlier.

Would you ever trade Google in for Bing? No, I haven’t used Bing in like 12 years.

What do you Google the most? Synonyms, I think, since I’m constantly writing for work.

H - Hair.

Do you like your hair? It’s a love-hate relationship most days because I hate how thick and frizzy it can be...but I recently had mine trimmed all the way up to my neck and for some reason it’s taken on a wavy form, which I didn’t expect to come out at all. And I’ve found that it actually suits me quite a bit, so I’m enjoying my hair for now.

What color is your hair? Black.

What does it look like right now? Slightly damp since I took a shower not too long ago.

What kind of shampoo for you use? Just a normal Dove one.

I - Ibuprofen 

When was the last time you took ibuprofen? I don’t think I’ve ever taken it? I usually take paracetamol...idrk the difference either. Do you rely on it for everything (cramps, headache)? I only ever take medicine for headaches/migraines.

Are you so thankful people made it? I mean sure, I’m glad there are those who have been able to create products that can instantly relieve pain or discomfort, but I’m not obsessively grateful.

Do you have any right now? I don’t think we have any.

J - Jobs.

Do you need a job? Nah, I already have one.

Where do you work? Media/PR industry.

Where would you work? I wouldn’t change jobs/industries. This is where I wanted to end up in, and I’m really really glad and fortunate to have landed here on my first shot, right out of college, and during a pendemic.

How much money would you like to get paid? An additional P5k (~$100) would probably be more satisfying, but considering my parents aren’t the traditional Filipino parents who suck 100% of my earnings right out of me the second payday comes, I’m able to enjoy a substantial chunk of money to myself, give them a portion of my earnings, and still be able to save.

K - Kissing.

Who was the last person you kissed? That would be my ex.

Will you next kiss be a mistake? I have no idea when that would be and with whom it will be shared, so I won’t be able to give you a definite answer.

Do you kiss someone everyday? Other than my dogs, nah.

Who was your first kiss? The aforementioned ex.

L - Love.

Who do you love the most in your life? My best friends. I’m also doing a whole lot better in the self-love department these days, so that too :)

Have you ever been in love before? Yeah.

Does it make you so happy when you feel the feeling of love? Sure. It feels light and comfortable, especially when it’s shared.

Why is this word so hard to describe? Because everyone feels love differently. < There we go.

M - Mom.

What is your mom’s name? Abigail.

What is she doing right now? She was watching The Good Doctor the last time I checked on her like five minutes ago. It’s her latest obsession.

Where does she work? She works in the food and beverage department of a 5-star hotel in the city.

Do you two shop together a lot? I rarely do my shopping with either of my parents.

N - Netflix.

Do you have Netflix? Technically, I guess. My dad pays for it and we have a family account.

If not, what movies would you order? I don’t think I’ve ever ordered a movie before. Before streaming on Netflix, I just used to get illegal torrents lol.

Do you rent a lot of movies? I’ve never rented a movie. Was too young for it, I think.

Do you have the tool where it just downloads to your tv? No.

O - Ohio.

Is this the state in which you live in? I don’t even live in the US. Never been there either. < Same.

Is Ohio State your favorite football team? I don’t like football.

Did you know Ohio Is For Lovers? I’m not familiar.

Have you ever been to Ohio? See first answer in this section.

Q - Quitting.

What was the last thing you quit doing? Practicing on Duolingo. I had an extremely short period of using the app again a couple of months ago, but I lasted all of two days hahaha I had been trying to get back on learning Korean, but I enrolled in official lessons not long after that anyway so it didn’t make sense to continue the stages in the app.

Do you need to quit talking to someone right now? Nope. The people I’m talking to right now in between this survey are all welcome conversations.

Would you ever quit school? That wasn’t an option for me and I never would’ve done it anyway. 

Don’t you think quitting is stupid? No. Sometimes it can be the strongest thing you can do for yourself.

R - Reading.

What was the last book you read? Does my Korean lesson textbook count hahaha...if not, I haven’t really read anything in years.

Do you own a lot of books? I do, but they are all books from my childhood and teenage years. It’s been a while since I last updated my bookshelf.

Do you have a library card? No, haven’t had one since Grade 1.

Have you ever read a book that changed your life? Without Seeing the Dawn was pretty influential to me, but I dunno about ‘life-changing.’ I need to read more to find the book that would have that effect on me.

S - Safety.

Do you always wear your seat belt? I do these days. I didn’t really practice it when I used to drive to school, whoops. Always forgot to do it.

When riding a four-wheeler do you wear a helmet? I rarely get to do that.

Did you ever wear knee pads and a helmet when riding your bike? Nah. I can’t ride a bike either. Do you always think safety first? In COVID terms, yeah. I have a face mask and shield on as soon as I find myself outdoors.

T - Talk

Who was the last person you talked to? Reena. Who are you talking to right now? Nobody. It’s just me, this survey, and some music in the background.

Who did you last talk to before you went to bed last night? Angela and Reena, if I’m not mistaken.

Do you need to talk to anybody right now? No, I’m good.

U - US ARMY

Do you support it? I don’t know enough about it to have a bold opinion, considering I’m not even from the US and it’s been a while since their army has had any strong contact with my country.

Do you know anybody who is in the army right now? I think one of Angela’s uncles has a high position in our national army.

Don’t you ever wonder why their camo doesn’t match anything? Not really.

Would you ever go to the army? No.

V - Virgin.

Are you a virgin? Nope.

When did you lose your virginity? I was 18.

Do you wish you would’ve waited? Nah, it felt right when I did it the first time; and I maintain that stance now even though I’m no longer with that person.

Do you think you could have stayed a virgin until marriage? I could. Sex isn’t a big deal to me.

W - What.

What are you doing right now besides this survey? I’m also listening to mono. and taking bites from my doughnut every now and then.

What are you craving? Spicy tuna salad, but it can wait. Andi got me my favorite truffle baked macaroni because it’s CM Punk day today :D :D and that’s able to satisfy my savory cravings for now.

What do you need to buy? Shelves.

Why are you taking my survey? I’ve mentioned this before but I like categorized/themed surveys, so alphabetical ones are always fun for me.

X -Xanax 

Do you know anybody who is addicted to Xanax? I don’t think so.

Have you ever taken it before? No.

Do you even know what it is? No, actually.

Have you ever suffered from anxiety or depression? I’m sure I have.

Y - Yourself.

Name. Robyn.

Age. 23.

Do you smile a lot? Sure, I’d say that’s common these days.

Z - Zebra.

Are you addicted to zebra striped? Not really.

Do you own anything zebra striped? Nah. I have some stuff that come in black and white stripes, but not zebra print. Is anything on any of your websites zebra striped? No.

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[kalemakar]

I guess from now on I’ll write the lazy english way too haha💕 another ask another fun fact: When I was 11 or 12 I invented the best swear word ever(not really).. but I’m not even sure if I invented it at all lmao (I feel like swearing is kind of “my thing” lol.. “abcdefuckoff” is also written on my hoodie so...) question: Should I ever reveal myself or should I stay your mysterious anon? haha xoxo french hater anon💕

lmaooo yesssss

LMAOOOOO I WANT THAT HOODIEEE fun fact about me: i thought i made up the swear word sh*t and said it in from of my mom and she got really mad at me lol

ooooooooo on one hand i really want to know who you are but and the same time i love the fha thread you know

oki oki r e v e a l t h y s e l f p l z 🙈🙈🙈

[bangcakes]

ABC Tag

Rules: answer the questions, and tag blogs you would like to get to know better

Tagged by: @01pil. thanks for tagging me !!

A - age: 24

B - birthplace: canada

C - current time: 10:49am

D - drink you last had: water ??? maybe ????

E - easiest person to talk to: andreea & thara

F - favourite songs: oh no...................... recently..... it’s been...... killing me - ikon, only you - ikon, shoot me - day6, & where r u from - seungri & mino.... in that specific order lmaooooo.

G - grossest memory: a kid’s diaper exploded at work and i had to clean it and it was just,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, bad

H - horror yes or horror no: it depends on the movie tbh lol

I - in love: i wish man............

J - jealous: occasionally (same)

K - kiss or be kissed: be kissed ...? but at the same time i know i’d move away so like.............. shoot (me)

L - love at first sight or should I walk by again: walk by againnnnnn

M - middle name: rather not say

N - number of siblings: 1

O - one wish: to be happy with myself

P - last person you called: my mom

Q - question you are always asked: “where are you from?” “what’s your background?” ................ which......... i find v funny b/c i feel as though it’s obvious.....

R - reasons to smile: day6 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S - song you last sang: where r u from - seungri feat mino lmaoooooo

T - time you woke up: i wanna say..................... 9am ????

U - underwhelming experience: going on dates lmaooo

V - vacation destination: i wanna travel all of canada ????

W - worst habit: hating on myself too much......

X - x-ray: just the ones for teeth....

Y - your favourite food: GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD lately............. i really love caesar salad........................

Z - zodiac sign:  cancer

I tag: anyone who wants to do this !!!

[hyukcieee-main]

abc tag

Tagged by @bbyjaem1n thank you baby girl

rules : answer the question in a new post + tag 10 blogs you’d like to know better

a)ge : 18

(b)irthplace : jb, malaysia

©urrent time : 12:58 pm

(d)rink you last had : water i stay hydrated

(e)asiest person to talk to : um,, a few of my mutuals

(f)av song : killing me - ikon im in love, the kings are back 

(g)rossest memory : idk, i don’t really get grossed out easily :/

(h)ogwarts house : slytherin

(i)n love : bruh i don’t even love myself, how can i love someone else? smh kinda jk but i’m working on myself

(j)ealous of people : not particularly 

(k)illed someone : nah man, too many consequences c;

(l)ove at first sight or walk by again : walk by again i guess

(m)iddle name : xinru

(n)umber of siblings : 2

(o)ne wish : inclusion tbh bc the world is fucked up enough without us treating each other like shit bc of dumb reasons

(p)erson you last called : my mother 

(q)uestion you ask most : can you shut the fuck up c: i swear im a good bitch 

®eason to smile : people i love idols and people i know happy and healthy 

(s)ong you last sang : love scenario - ikon

(t)ime you woke up : which time?? rip my sleep

(u)nderwear colour : grey and blue

(v)acation destination : i have too many places to list just one! so imma throw a few down, canada + korea + japan + greenland

(w)orst habit : just everything i do that’s directed towards myself lmaooooo

(x)-rays : just dental ones, ya girl is too much of a pussy to break an actual bone

(y)our fav food : yike, this is hard but i have been really liking cherries although that could just be my thot side coming out to play c:

(z)odiac sign : cancer 

im tagging : @whu-zhengting @beewhenjune @jinhuwuan @shimmie-shimmie-kokobop @yanjuniverse @ziyistory @huangkinghao @04-naridx @evanismyking @eriines @wowlele and @nana-eclipse

obviously y’all don’t have to do it but if you want to, go for it! c:

[motivationtown]

THAT ANON HAS ME CRYING LIKE THEY REALLY GONNA USE THE ANON FUNCTION TO SEND GROSS PETTY MESSAGES LIKE THAT INSTEAD OF USING IT FOR GOOD LIKE TELLING YOU THAT YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND WORTHY OF LOVE AND NICE THINGS? THAT BITCH ANON IS P A T H E T I C LMAOOOOO IM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO DEAL WITH THAT

Anon is really fuckin funny for thinking I haven’t hat that exact conversation with myself a thousand times at 3 AM

[ch99rry]

tagged by @sttchingllies and @sincerelyf !!!

[ O N E  I N S E C U R I T Y ]

my weight lmao

[ T W O  F E A R S ] 

(i have way more than just two fears dude i could probably just go on and on about my fears)

never committing to a specific career field (or never being satisfied with the career i choose to pursue) that or not getting admitted to the universities i want and having to settle for a shitty in-state university

losing my boyfriend lmaooooo

[ T H R E E  T U R N  O N S ]

uhhhh spanking???

breath play????

more stuff that i cant think of???

[ F O U R  L I F E  G O A L S ]

to improve my writing more

to be someone people can look up to, someone who people can come to for just about anything, someone people can be comfortable with

to go into outer space/a different planet (or send someone to a different planet)

to finally become secure about my self-image

[ F I V E  T H I N G S  I  L I K E ]

my doggies!!! lmao do they count as two things technically???

having people tell me that i made a different in their moods, lives, etc.

sleeping!!!

my best friends!!! aleks!!! kat!!! jay!!! edwin!!! jen!!! any person i tagged in that one post about friendship!!!

rick and morty bc dude it’s pretty coo

[ S I X  W E A K N E S S E S ]

the crushing fear that all my friends and loved ones will realize that im a manipulating asshole and will leave me (again, for some of them)

i care too much about little things to the point of unhealthy obsession even though i know that i shouldn’t

the fact that i let my emotions dictate a lot of my actions despite rationally thinking to myself that emotions are temporary things that could cause permanent consequences if not dealt with properly

i compare myself to literally everyone (mostly just two specific people but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) in every single aspect and then i think to myself “why can’t i be more like them”

i will sit around watching youtube videos on how to cure meat instead of doing my ap physics, health, ap gov, and ap stat homework

i feel like it’s expected of me to always be happy and so whenever i’m not, my sadness hits me really hard and it’s absolutely crushing

[ S E V E N  T H I N G S  I  L O V E ]

can i put my dogs and my friends in this list again??

my boyfriend (°◡°♡) !!! spending time with him!!! helping him through stuff!!! being in skype calls with him!!!

exo!!! monsta x!!! even tho i barely keep up with either anymore!!!

cow chop!!! they’re pretty funny dudes who always manage to make me smile!!! also youtube did them dirty and they deserve better!!!

multiplayer video games, pretty video games, interactive video games!!! video games man!!!

designing things!!! things like my journal (which i barely work on anymore rip) and posters and stuff!!!

writing heart-felt messages to the people i care about and just being emotional in general tbh

[ T A G  E I G H T  P E O P L E ]

@kokokaisoobop @peach-orange-juice @chanyeolsabs @06pray @pathetikaesthetic @canadianmapletea @legtart @yandearie

[studylix]

ALPHABET TAG✍️

i was tagged by @niccstudies thank you so much! :)

A - age: 16

B - biggest fear: ahhhhhhhh idk man

C - current time: 10:34pm wooh!

D - drink you last had: coke lmao 

E - everyday starts with: checking my phone to see what time it is 

F - favourite song: i cant choose but I’ve been blasting BS&T for days now so I’ll choose that one lol

G - ghosts, are they real?: yeah boiiii

H - hometown: Argentina, in the middle of the mountains lmaoo

I - in love with: my dog, my friends, BTS and ice cream 

J - jealous of: uhhhh idk i try not to be jealous y’know?

K - kill(ed) someone: hahah... no... why would you s-say that.... haha...ha ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

L - last time I cried: five days ago???? i think????

M - middle name: i dont have any!!! bc my parents hate theirs and they didn’t want to burden us with the same suffering lmao

N - number of siblings: 3!

O - one wish: to be happy with myself and my studies and God (thats more than one wish BUT)

P - person you last called/texted: my best friends!

Q - question you’re always asked: if i’m really that tall... and the answer is a very awkward “....yes” 

R - reason to smile: music!! dogs!!! your family and friends!!! the sun and the moon!! all the books you can read and movies you can see!!! 

S - song last sang: I need U- BTS

T - time you woke up: 11am bc holidayssss

U- underwear colour: white lace LMAOOO

V - vacation destination: i’m currently on my vacation destination, at the beach so... here (?)

W - worst habit: biting my nails when im bored/nervous argh

X - x-rays you’ve had: for the dentist, thousands! and then my boobs lmaooooo i almost pass out when they did it (and then I had to go again and I did pass out)

Y - your favourite food: anything that my mom cooks! and ice cream

Z - zodiac sign: aquarius!

I tag: @somelikeitfresh @lifeinatextbook @studyandtea @studyrelief @intellectus @izzystudies and everyone who wants to do it!