#I guess she’s a toonverse oc

[eggnoscoffin]

I would tell ya what her name is but ima just assume you can read :>

Basically she used to be a kids toy before she got “messed up” and she got set free :> She’s also Spec’s niece and Brenda’s cousin so Enjoy!

Brenda- @elementalgod-aj

[espytalks]

wip, and a lot of negative thoughts.

it’s done, and i can already tell this is gonna be a bitch to color. and it’s probably not even gonna get a whole lot of notes, either. i’m betting 30 max. it’d be surprised if it reached a hundred. 

and i mean, notes shouldn’t matter, and i try not to let them matter, but for all the effort i’m gonna need to put into this to get it to look nice, it hurts to think it’s probably gonna be ignored in favor of more popular artists, and more creative ideas.

..it almost makes me not want to finish this. I want to make art that people will enjoy. And i really don’t know how many people who follow me actually care about things like this. out of the usual 12 notes i get on a drawing, i only know for 98 percent certain 2 people likes bendy stuff. why should i spend time and effort on something only two people will for sure like it, and the rest could only be liking it because they feel obligated to, and not because they actually care?

and on top of that, why should i work on my ocs, when only a few people have told me they like them? why should i care about knox when all anyone cares about is carter? and i don’t work on carter stuff because it’s harder for me to think of neat stuff for him. it’s like people only care about him because he’s cute. actually, that’s probably it. i.. shouldn’t be surprised, but i’d definitely be hurt if that’s the case.

And tbh, drawing a character only because other people seem to like them makes me stop liking the character. it’s why i don’t like kaylee anymore. speaking of, i should take a break from this drawing and work on one last update for her blog to let people know i’m not gonna work on it anymore. i’ve been thinking about it, and it’s about time i just.. let people know i’m not coming back to it. i may not ever draw her again. I just don’t like drawing her anymore. i don’t have any stories to put her in. 

i can’t even revamp her into an oc for toonverse, because her story (and hidden’s too) is so reliant on the pony universe. which sucks, because i put so much of myself into her. she was the first oc i gave a personality to. drawing her helped me learn to draw better. and i like her and i like her design and i like her story, but i can’t work on it anymore. it makes me tired in my soul to think about it. i guess that’s depression? i don’t even know. 

none of my characters deserve that. but i can’t be passionate about something if i’m the only one who cares. what’s the point, ya know? so yeah, i’ll finish this drawing, i guess, but it’s gonna take a while before i can get it done, because the passion for it is gone, and it’s gonna need a lot of energy i don’t have to figure out how to color it. 

maybe in an hour i’ll feel better and look like a liar and work on this, or maybe it’ll be another couple weeks. who the fuck knows or cares?