#I guess lol it pains me to use that ship term

[endlessnightlock]

Smut prompt 41, please! ❤️

"(if you like it) we can go all night..."

Probably a T/borderline M for suggestiveness (and making out)

In-Panem A/U.

Katniss stumbled over the tree root that had made the mistake of bursting from the dirt in the middle of the path leading from town to the Seam. She wobbled on her feet, but strong arms caught her and held her against his chest before she fell ass-first on the ground.

"Careful," Peeta Mellark told her, and for some reason, his admonition was simply hilarious. She let herself tumble against his chest, giggling.

He sighed under his breath and muttered something about preferring she was sober for this, and that just set her to laughing all over again. The whole night was too absurd to be believed.

There was no reason for her to be so clumsy, even in the dark. She used this path almost daily. Katniss was light on her feet, graceful. But tonight, she'd attended her first town dance, Twelve's unofficial entry to adulthood and freedom from the Reaping. And now? She was drunk.

She'd never been drunk before, and she hadn't meant to be tonight. How was she to know the punch was laced with white liquor? Yeah, she’d noticed the way it burned down her stomach and had an inkling, but when it settled warm and pleasant in her belly she decided not to think about it too hard. She felt looser and lighter and, for the first time in her life, let herself chase that feeling. Unfortunately, too much left her too loose and too light to get home on her own.

Thank goodness she'd run into Peeta Mellark near the rec hall doors. Literally.

She giggled, smothering a snort in her open palm.

"How are you doing, drunkie?" Peeta asked when she didn't move, sounding amused.

"Great. Good. Wonderful." She never talked this much. Why didn't she talk this much? It was so nice talking to him. "Just a little wobbly on my feet. Thanks for holding onto me. Do you know something? You're too good. And nice. And you smell so good." She had the urge to laugh again but thought maybe she was doing too much of that. "I like talking to you."

"Good to know," he said. "I was just wondering if I needed to carry you home."

"No, no. I can walk," she said. Maybe she was lying, though, because she didn't move.

"Are you sure?" He prodded. “Because we’re not moving.”

"Yes! Maybe. I mean, I can walk." She shrugged. "But I kind of like your arms around me. I could do this all night."

She really didn't know why she did it. Maybe because he was so solid and warm, and it was the boy who'd spent seven years staring at her in school but never talked to her until offering to get her home tonight. The only one who’d helped her when she needed help. He’d never asked her for anything. And there was something so baffling but attractive about his kindness. She was realizing how much she liked this sort of warmth, the kind that made her heart feel safe, so she tipped her chin up and kissed him under his jaw.

He sucked in a sharp breath. Her lips lingered against his skin; she felt his pulse pick up. She liked that, liked knowing she could get a reaction out of him. "Katniss. Don't kiss me like that because you're drunk."

She didn't stand on her toes and wrap her arms around his neck, brushing her lips against his because she was drunk. She did it because she liked him a lot and finally had the courage.

"I don't want to take advantage of you," he said.

But his actions were in contrast to his words. His arms tightened around her waist, and he pulled her snugly against his body. His muscles were taut, but she sensed he liked what they were doing. Liked her attention, the way she ran her fingers through his hair, how she pressed her breasts against his chest daringly.

"So don't," she said, cocking her eyebrow in challenge.

Her nerves buzzed and tingled, the sensation rolling through her limbs and stomach and between her legs when he groaned, slanting his mouth over hers.

"Am I dreaming?" he asked as she climbed up his body and wrapped her legs around his waist. Her added weight didn't affect him in the least; he made a cradle with his arms under her hips and ass to support her against his chest. He was firm, muscled everywhere, and something hard pressed against the inside of her thigh, making her body ache.

"Told you I could get around just fine," she said, laughing under her breath before locking her arms around his neck and kissing him again. His lips were soft. Hot.

"We're going to get caught," he breathed, forehead pressed against hers, his warm breath fanning her face. "Someone could walk by any moment. We should stop."

"I don't want to," she said. "If you like it, we could go all night."

He laughed harshly. "Do you even know how that sounds? Don't tell me that. It gives me ideas."

"Maybe I'm getting ideas too."

He pulled away, studying her thoughtfully. Then, with one last soft press of his lips to hers, he sat her on the ground and stepped back a little. It left her confused and hurt. "Don't you want..."

"You have no idea. The effect you have on me. It's just," his eyes were pleading with her in a way she didn't understand. He reached for her hands, rubbing his slightly calloused thumbs against her palm. The action mollified her a little.

He blew out his breath like he was stealing himself for a negative response. "Katniss. I really like you."

"Why did you stop?" she asked, hating the whine in her voice.

"If I hadn't, we would have done something you'd regret later. Or if not you, then me. Don't get me wrong. There's so much I want to do with you. But you've been drinking, and I want to know this," he squeezed her hand, "means something. That's all."

She thought about arguing with him. But she didn't. Instead, she sighed in resignation. Because as much fun as doing something impulsive and crazy with him tonight would be, he was probably right. "You're not to go back to not talking to me, right?"

He smiled. "No. Absolutely not. I've waited a long time for all-night things with you. I want to stay up all night and watch the stars. Talk to you all night. Kiss you all night. As for the rest," he looked at her, raking his eyes up and down her body, obviously struggling against his baser instincts.

She couldn't help laughing nervously at the hungry look in his eyes, remembering how his hardness felt pressed against her, his heated kisses.

"Don't laugh at me! You started this."

"I'm not laughing," she insisted, grinning despite herself.

They walked the rest of the way to her house in contented silence, holding hands. He kissed her goodnight on the front step, promising to come to see her again as soon as he could. And that was pretty good, too.

[splitster]

answering ASKS

she probably needs some help from the captain on how to use a lot of things, and scrunchies are no exception...

↓ more asks under the cut!! ↓

UHH i mean... i guess it's always had a bit of darkness at the corners? pom is a monster in this au. she's a wraith. she was not born with empathy or kindness.

also, if you've been following this blog for a while, you'd know that i'm not one to shy away from topics like death or trauma or whatever. i'm not constantly shoving angsty things in the narratives i make but i'll sprinkle a little in there for fun teehee

i use "human" as a generic catch-all term for all of the alien species, like hocotatians, koppaites, giyans, whatever. mostly because i'm lazy 😭 and because actual humans or humanity will almost guaranteed never be relevant in any of the art or stories i make

i do! if anyone wants to talk to me on discord feel free to send a dm. although, and i mean this in the nicest way possible, i'm an adult and i'm only gonna share my discord with other adults

UHH i hadn't really thought about it. i'm often in that PIMIN discord server, and i got a little pom wraith section in there so i guess that'd count

if a wraith wants to eat you, it'd be a mercy for it to kill you first. being alive and having your flesh, tissue, muscles and bones fizzled away into biomass is an agonizing process. you are being eaten alive after all. hopefully the pain knocks you unconscious quickly...

AHH thank you!! you'll have to love her from a distance, because if you get too close she'll just eat you

HELP I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT THIS ASK IS IN RELATION TO AHHHH

you're welcome💖

corbin didn't have to eat anyone! he's half human, so he naturally develops a human "disguise". he visually takes after dingo quite a lot lol

please don't send me asks like this. i love ships in general and i'm a big fan of dinyon, but i dont support putting down other ships for any reason. if you really want dinyon that bad, you can wait until i draw and post some at my leisure, wait until i'm taking requests, or ask a different artist

purbl...

thanks for reading this far, and thank you everyone for the asks!!💖💖

[witchhazelevesque]

petrified frank au genuinely sounds cool as hell ... do you have any idea in mind about what exactly "in-between state" entails? like why is it so miserable exactly? 🧐

Ahhh thanks, it’s driving me crazy lol

I don’t have a completely clear idea, but here’s some thoughts I had about why this in-between feels terrible for Frank:

I keep thinking about the ways the characters worried that protecting the tinder in like coating or a box would impact Frank himself. The tinder is organic material, even if it isn’t alive (side note there’s a thing called fire scarred petrified wood which… is so valzhang in this context lol but that happens back when the wood is still a living tree) but petrified wood is a literal fossil in the exact shape down to the cell structure. 

It would be like a replacement of what makes Frank himself, you know? In a certain sense, the tinder is alive, like when he was trekking to Camp Jupiter and it caught fire just because he thought of it doing so. Kind of like as if his mortality was contained in the tinder, and then it was leeched out or turned into something else, wood into stone, organic into not. I don’t know much about the ship of Theseus debate, but a little like that. 

I guess I’m picturing that he can feel how changed he is, like a phantom limb pain but in his soul. It’s also unnatural to him, like he was destined to burn, but now that’s literally impossible. So he’s kind of this unalive echo of himself, which I think might be especially painful for Frank since when he came to terms with his mortality in canon he did it by deciding to be as alive as he could while dying,  “If I’m going to burn, it might as well be bright”. 

But now he has lost himself- you mention in the tags that it’d be interesting if Frank unintentionally did it to himself which is also a really cool idea I’m curious about. So maybe it’s his fault or maybe it’s something that happens to him, but he’s got to exist with it now. 

(Another side note, the Fates would see it as cheating destiny too, and since his soul is now genuinely out of reach of death, the exchange price they would exact would be high.)

I only had a vague shape of how it would go, but I think his emotions would be partly deadened and he can feel them dying.  So he’s like this husk of a person that was once Frank Zhang. A lot of other kinds of fossils aren’t exact replicas but impressions or compressions, but petrified wood is exact, from what I’ve found. And that perfection just makes it worse? He’s looking at himself like, this is Frank Zhang, why do I not feel like Frank Zhang anymore? The things he once cared about, lived for and would have died for don’t make him feel the same way anymore.    

In a way the firewood was a tether, the balance to an amount of power the Fates deemed too much for a mortal. But the tether isn’t functioning the same way anymore, it’s done a complete inversion, actually. So now Frank’s so disconnected from the reality of the world, nothing to keep him in check. He’s got all this power with no safeguards and it’s messing with his head.

Not sure how it would happen but he might go into a downward spiral trying to get some part of himself back, or he might go along with the change and take on every danger so no one else has to. At some point he would lean into this reality like he did with his mortality in the first place. He might make a goal that seems impossible to reach and makes that his entire being and since he can recover from anything now his sense of reality and danger and pain and what’s possible gets skewed. And yeah maybe he can’t die but he’s killing anything left of his old self. He might make deals with the wrong entities and progressively rack up costs that bleed over onto other people to pay. And he just… doesn’t care the way he knows he should and the way he used to.

With Leo, there’s this build up of Leo watching all this happen and trying to be there and help, but Frank doesn’t want that help. And Leo’s got his own mess of feelings about death and mortality and resurrection, plus self loathing and guilt tied up with his own powers, so that adds to the whole situation. In the end, Frank probably gets someone they both cared about killed or kills them himself. I think that’s probably one of the only things that could make Leo turn on him. Or maybe Frank wants him to use his fire for things Leo doesn’t want to do and things escalate and Leo feels like he has to walk away. Or maybe he goes along with things despite his better judgment because this is Frank, of course Leo trusts him, and this might be how someone he cares for dies. (You also mentioned this break between them might be related to the petrifaction itself, which sounds really interesting, do you mean like maybe it was Leo’s fire that was burning it or there was some situation Leo was involved in that lead to it happening? Would love to hear about that idea.)

And after everything, Frank seeing this connection he’d taken for granted snap might ignite something in him, but it’s too late, Leo can’t stay anymore and Frank’s got nothing left. And he has to exist like that for eternity.

On a more literal level, he’s not an immortal in the traditional sense, like no ichor or magic or semi-omniscience, but he also can’t die.  I think it may change his physical body too, and since petrification happens down to the cellular level, maybe that’s how it works for Frank. Not so much that he’s made of stone but to him it feels like that. Like when he moves it feels wrong, like that uncomfortable sound/sensation of stones dragging across one another. Pain he could handle but there’s this feeling of wrongness all throughout him that is a constant, silent torment.

Anyway, super long winded and inconclusive lol, I’m very curious about your thoughts you mentioned in the tags if you wanna share 

[lotus-mirage]

Trigun Stampede episode 7 liveblog

Man I said this two-parter is really focused on Wolfwood, but this episode has his name as the title

Oh I see the destination is an additional threat to him. Huh. I wonder what the purpose of that is? Like just to mess with him, or to make the journey seem appropriately menaced, or what?

I didn't notice before, but it is incredibly funny that the letters front and center are B and L

I feel like half of Wolfwood's gun is like ammo storage lmao, he goes through that fast

Oh actual emoting from Livio! Not looking particularly cognizant, but it's something.

Oh there's Meryl and Roberto! Would not have figured that's how they managed to tag along, but if it works it works haha

The boing noises as the desert raiders are thrown around are fantastic

Vash is wielding his gun, backhand, like a blunt weapon. Possibly as a gauntlet idk. Still. Makes sense for him, but not something I've ever seen before lol

Mmmmhmm and now the "monsters" and "not human" assertions are being foiled.

Between Livio and Rollo, seems like they kinda get stuck on a single sentiment?

"It would have been better without you around" ...ah. I did not expect that and don't know how to respond to it.

Wow, uh. I mean we knew Vash was incredibly accurate at aiming before, but to redirect someone else's gun to land a clean shot (particularly one that has as much heft as Wolfwood's) is rather uncanny.

that method of getting another Worm actually made me gag ugh.

wait hold up what was happening with Livio's reflection. I don't think I recognize it?

Eef. Thought that was how it'd end, but didn't expect him to shoot and fall over the side. (I suppose it's possible that the 'if there isn't a body, they're probably not dead' rule applies here though)

"I just wanted to spread the good word. That's all." You know I think this does in fact hold true to the, uh. Real world weight? That this sort of phrase carries.

Okay this is the first we've heard of a topic that Wolfwood apparently has disagreements with the Eye of Michael over. ...Actually that was on an assumption that it's a decision on an action, not a religious thing. It's Wolfwood's initial verbal disagreement on religion, isn't it.

Switched to Eng dub for a second 'cause I wasn't sure who said the next couple lines, but yeah I think it's clearer that it's about Wolfwood's denial.

Wait speaking of that's also a Christian term too right. Like Judas denies Jesus or something? I know the term is used in relation to those two in particular but I don't actually know the specifics. It's like "one of you will deny me" or "one of you will betray me" and I don't remember which.

Not sure if that really matters in this case, though, since I don't think Bluesummers quite maps to Jesus lol. Anyways.

Okay yeah "Punisher" is definitely being used in relation to Wolfwood himself. Noted.

Lmao the "Hi!~" being in English really sold it

Ooh, worldbuilding. Spacefaring age, okay.

Wait if they're running around to all the controls, where are the people originally driving the ship?

Yay, character exploration and development from Meryl! (and Roberto to a lesser extent)

Oh wait the kid that fell in the first town is alive?? I guess I saw him moving a bit at the end there, but it was a long fall and I thought maybe it was his mom's movements while carrying him.

:0 Vash's arm fractured! Frankly I didn't know it could do that. That's not good.

Oh lmao it's the disproportionate response "Wolfwood..." that kept being memed on.

Oh NOW the title comes up!

Actually wait I saw something on this a while ago, too. They were talking about he asserts he's "the Punisher," then "Nicholas the Punisher," and then the framing basically hits him with a "no :)" That's so funny. Also kind of tragic. But still funny.

Oh hey this is the first time we've seen Vash in this sort of situation since he was a 'plant technician' in the first episode.

it can move in there!?

oh that looks really painful

it's humanoid already!?

maybe I leaned too far into the "oh it's kind of egg shaped" assumption lol

Oop, yep, I guess Livio's not dead. Or uh. Might be dead but isn't out of the picture?

Alright yeah Vash looks pretty out of it.

...was that him hitting the ground? oof.

End Notes:

Again not really much to say here! We got some character details, some worldbuilding details, lots of character development & solidification of relationships, and now some immediate threads to be followed up on (Vash's arm and the Plant reveal thing). Feeling much more invested than when I started the series and interested in seeing how this conversation goes!

I will say. The plant did not look uh. very intimidating. kind of reminds me of the... neopets fairies? I don't think that's right, but like some similar franchise kind of had similar vibes, shape-wise.

...is this the first time the Plant stuff got fully revealed in the show? I went in knowing and haven't been keeping track. I know it was established that Vash is a) non-human b) fell from a spaceship onto the planet and c) had 'relatives' in pods on said spaceship. Not to mention his twin also having pretty obvious markings. But I'm curious about the reasons for the pacing of these reveals, since we got so much of Wolfwood's backstory just last episode.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e2 hello, cruel world (w. ben edlund)

HALLUCIFER Right. You think this fruit-bat fever dream is reality? You come back, I'm sorry, with no soul like some peppy American Psycho, till Saint Dean glues you back together again by buying you some magic amnesia. You’re real. I’m very real. Everything between is what we call set dressing.

heart is breaking for sam already

HALLUCIFER You’re still in my cell. You’re my bunkmate, buddy. You’re my little bitch, in every sense of the term.

in general i am overly literal and what i see is what i get when it comes to show canon but i'm trying so hard to hold tight to the illusion in my mind that hell-torture for sam and dean didn't involve rape but they're making it really fucking hard. there's been other references, i think one in the last ep no less. just keep thinking to myself "gloss over it, they're just being edgy, they don't actually mean it". i start to get real upset if i think about it so yeah.

i know i'm wearing the wincest goggles but again i feel like i am capable of picking up what a show is putting down regardless of a ship i might be invested in, but i feel like i'm losing it with cas and dean's relationship level. i feel like we have seen so little of cas in general, that they keep TALKING about how they're all close but we've seen so little of it?? i'd think with 22 episodes a season they'd have room to establish this onscreen 🥴 but here's dean crying over presumed-dead cas. i guess i'm just gonna have to go with it and stop complaining about sHoW doN't TeLL

god what is this weird music transition into the doobie brothers black water - just because the lyrics work does not mean the music does :P hard left turn after mushy dead cas scene. i fear i have slipped into overly critical mode

short and gruff version of hannibal tending will graham's wounded hands post-tier

i get that dean's freaked out and scared but he's being such an asshole to sam

what an exceptionally cruel hallucination they're giving sam. i might need to look up how long he deals with this before it gets fixed because.....

DEAN Yeah, well. I’m not Sam, okay? I keep my marbles in a lead friggin' box. I’m fine. Really.

big fat fuck you, dean. you can't out tough psychosis.

BOBBY Of course. Yeah. You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re – you're fine.

one of the best friends you ever had. ok. O K. (nevermind how depressingly in-the-basement-low the bar is being the number of people he could call friends he's had)

looks like bobby's computer got an upgrade! seems untitled 1 and 2 desktop has made it to the actual desktop 😂

s6e4 weekend at bobby's his 3.1 desktop LOL

okay so hell politics, heaven politics, the clear next step is purgatory politics. who is the boss of the leviathans *pulls out the org chart* (god i just don't care)

sam's hallucinating dean now, great. do not like

DEAN This is real. Not a year ago, not in Hell, now. I was with you when you cut it, I sewed it up! Look!

little gift to wincest kink writers everywhere, dean helping sam by inflicting pain

DEAN Hey. I am your flesh-and-blood brother, okay? I’m the only one who can legitimately kick your ass in real time. You got away. We got you out, Sammy. DEAN Believe in that! Believe me, okay? You gotta believe me. You gotta make it stone number one and build on it. You understand? SAM Yeah. Yeah, okay.

dean looks like he might fall over he's so relieved.

DEAN (on phone) You cannot be in that crater back there. I can’t… If you’re gone, I swear, I am going to strap my Beautiful Mind brother into the car and I’m gonna drive us off the pier. You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good! Now you said you’d be here. Where are you?

well this is awful. first hallucifer encouraging sam to kill himself repeatedly and now dean saying this. also do not like.

(also very serious things happening and then that cheesy ass special effects on the leviathan's face -_-)

the winchesters getting an ambulance and going to the hospital for an injury, wonders never cease.

[dollfemme-archive]

this is freya's "after dark" blog. it's both for general use and for self shipping. mostly self shipping.

i am a LESBIAN and so are all of my f/os

my pronouns are it/its or none

do not send asks/dms to flirt or sext with me. i'm not interested.

if you're writing something for me as one of my f/os or giving me a scenario to think about, absolutely never write them referring to me as a whore, a slut, or anything else similar. being called or even alluded to being called those terms is extremely triggering to me

the above said if u ever DO send me writing/imagines... i am a sub stone bottom/pillow princess femme- i am NOT comfortable with being dominant at all, extremely iffy on topping

i have a very complicated relationship with sex due to religious trauma and general self hatred. and i'm also sex repulsed sometimes. i'm trying to get better though!!

i'm into a lot of things and regardless of my personal comforts i don't particularly care what others are into (with a few exceptions)

DNI: t.erfs, p.roship, cishet men, minors, ageless blogs, fat fetishists*, ageplay, raceplay, i.rken x child. non self ship are on thin fucking ice.

* if you're a friend and/or are fat yourself and you have a fat fetish you can follow i don't mind, it's just a personal discomfort to me.

thanks for respecting my boundaries óvò

content warnings/what i'm into below, please tell me if you need me to tag anything!

somnophilia

free use

lactation/breast feeding (both ways!)

breeding (NO pregnant even if Words are said there's no pregnant ever)

monster/robot/alien stuff. u know my f/os lol

predator/prey dynamic

blasphemy kink (i'm an angel always and sometimes an angel nun in my thoughts)

very light blood stuff. mostly from things like biting. fangs <3 (which is funny bc none of my f/os are vampires and only 3 of them have sharp fangs BUT ANYWAY—)

rough stuff in general. dubcon may show up due to the nature of what i like but i prommy that even in my fantasies there is consent happening, i love check-ins n stuff <3

light bdsm i guess?? like, mostly involving restraint, no extreme pain stuff

[painfulguess]

howdy there!

i'm wilbur, liam, or lykaios, but i don't mind which you use! pain or painful is alright too, incase you would prefer shortening my username!

pronouns are he/him or it/its

--

hi, i'm redoing this kinda because im tired of hiding my 'cringe' self on here lol

currently hyperfixated on the OSC- mostly Inanimate Insanity right now, but ive watched the BFDI series, etc., my favorites right now are II, BURNER, TNM, and PPT2

long-term special interests includes Undertale/Deltarune + their AUs

may swap fandoms anytime, but I hope you stick around when I do!

--

my dni + byf i guess

idc what you reblog or whatever, but please don't direct NSFW statements towards me and don't violate basic dni criteria (racist, homophobic, you get the drill) and we should be good! along with all that, idc what you ship/love/hate but please be nice about what i draw

i'm diagnosed with autism, suspect adhd and anxiety, and stay on a hyperfixation for a while until im ready to go to another! i also usually draw the angstier characters, or just straight up angst a lot. i'll censor and tag but yknow. the warning is there

interactions (comments, likes, reblogs, idc!) are very appreciated!! i also have an ask box or dms if you want to talk at all!! /nf

--

i use #my art heehoo as my art tag and #rebelog for reblogs

last upd. july 22 2024

[queenharumiura]

Get to know me

what’s your phone wallpaper : It's a piece of Shura (Yu Yu Hakusho) sleeping while cuddled in Sesshomaru's (Inuyasha) mokomoko. Why? Just RP things. Why that piece in particular? The composition worked well with the way I have all my apps situated on my phone.

last song you listened to: Uhhh I honestly don't remember, but it was something on the radio. I can barely be trusted to remember what I had for breakfast, much less remember what I listened to last.

currently reading : I read so many manga/manhua/manhwa that it's wild to consider me making a list of what i'm currently reading.

last movie :  Ehh--- I think it might've been 'The Legend of Hei'? Tenka, confirm? Deny?

last show : I'm going to answer in terms of a show that I recall watching from start to finish and not just me randomly going 'I want to rewatch that episode again'. In this case: The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting' is the last show I recall watching.

what are you wearing right now : Uhh... basically homewear, I guess?

piercings / tattoos? : I'm allergic to pain, so neither, but I've seen a lot of cute earrings and it had me considering. I don't think i'd ever do a tattoo because they're permanent and that's a huge commitment to make. I'd have to think forever about a design, a meaning, a location, an artist, etc. It's a lot of pressure for me to think about. I would take too long to think of something and it's just not worth it. This is why I never touched Animal Crossing, because I knew i'd just take too long just analyzing everything and needing everything to be JUST RIGHT. So, if the question was a preference kinda question, i'd be more likely to go for a piercing.

glasses ? contacts?: Glasses. I can't really do contacts. That said, my glasses normally sit atop the top of my head like overqualified headbands. My prescription safety glasses at work have been used for their actual purpose more than my actual glasses. I've gone to the movies countless of times and went: ah-- I forgot my glasses. I'm dumb, yes.

last thing you ate? : The menu said 'chicken noodle' and it was under 'noodle and soups' so I assumed it was chicken noodle soup. I was wrong. idk what it actually is. I just know it's chicken noodle'.

favorite color(s) : Pink. Purple and black are close seconds. In terms of favorite colors from a sentimental/nostalgic reason: Jungle green and eggplant purple for dA RP shipping reasons.

current obsession : I don't think I have an obsession at the moment. IF I did, i'd be so gungho about it that you'd probably not see/hear me for quite some time. I'm currently just living every day like i'm a floating plank of wood on a calm ocean surface. My last obsession was... I think... watching a particular streamer I really liked. To be very subtle, he is known for using a sprout in Among us. Pretty sure that's right. Prior to that my obsession was the 'Trash of the Counts Family' novel until the licensing got pulled. Before that was the 'The King's Avatar' novel.

favorite fictional character : Oh man... I love so many. Haru Miura truly has a very special place in my heart. Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho was such a big thing for me when I was younger. Don't get me started on how I was very into Tokuchi Toua (one outs) or Hiruma Youichi (Eyeshield 21). Shout out to Tatsumi Takeshi (Giant Killing) and Tsubaki Daisuke (Giant Killing). Gintoki (Gintama) truly was a time where my friends thought if I'd marry anyone, it would be him. I'd find a way to crossover to another dimension and marry him lol. This is really just me talking about past obsessions, yes.

Tagged by: @zcitgcistcr Tagging: I don't tag.

[misqnon]

its march :3 (side note i think its funny that i chose march .. as a name.. to call myself. because i just like the name (and secretly i was thinking of the character from to you, my immortal/to your eternity) but it.. it was just march. march just ended. i only realized this connection yesterday.)

you would be CORRECT..!! see its Obvious. i think i would be way more embarrassed to pretend like ur wrong or gloss over ur guess bc thats ... .. the 2nd one just proves u right and the first one... is... is humiliating .... i will not go off anon tho this is comfy for me <3 (another side note. 20 minutes after giving myself a name . for ease. i was so embarrassed and ashamed LOL. like wow... i named myself when its already so obvious who i am....)

im really not much of a shipper tbh, especially with the straw hats cuz i love to see them as having familial relationships or just being real close friends but!!! one piece has definitely awakened something in me.. to ship characters. bc before i would never ship characters in media. i have.. various reasons for this. but the one piece fandom is so into shipping it has rubbed off on me a bit. i cant help it. i love hannyabul x magellan.

zoro is the perfect mix of cool and goofy, its so wonderful!!! using 3 swords is like the silliest thing in theory and then he busts out the most awesome moves with it and its like wow .. look at him. i cant imagine being zoro levels of bad at directions tho that is... impressive... /lh. DO PEOPLE CHOOSE LEAST FAVORITE STRAW HATS??? HOW DO THEY DO THAT .. tbh i dont consider people old til theyre in like their 50's or 60's (partly bc my parents are nearing their mid 60's and i see them as eternally youthful) but i feel like old man yaoi can include middle aged men!??? also tbh rayleigh (when hes old man-ified...) is really hot.. like young rayleigh is fine but old man rayleigh??? wow....

GOOD THING UR IN WHOLE CAKE ISLAND ARC SO U GET TO SEE KATAKURI SOON!!! cuz omg.... he is so lovely. he deserves so much love. crocodile is so popular!! i get the hype n i used to love him like that too.. but my interest has faded.. 😔 i do love the trans man croc and crocodad theories tho theyre so fun even if theyre not true. i love to imagine dragon (oh my god imagine dragons ...) as a guy whos still in love with his ex. i think that would be so silly .. and if his ex was croc??? that would be even sillier ... theyre perfect.

don't worry i have the sanji tiktoks saved for the day i work up courage 🫡!! pls DO send me more op stuff i love it !!!!

YES YES YES YES THATS THE WXACT VIDEO I WATCHED AHIFHSDJD!!! i was rly converted into a dub liker by That Alone!!!!

im real picky about voice acting tbh and japanese just makes it easier for me to like bc they have way cooler sounding voices. that "luffy... help me" scene with nami in arlong park will forever sound better to me in the sub rather than the dub . the voice crack!!! the helplessness!!! the way she squeaked it out, like it was the most painful thing to ask for help!!! ugh... big fan. i looked it up just now to rewatch and yeah i cried a bit 😎. also i just noticed her tears are rolling down her neck that is so real. anyways back to luffy,, yeah his voice acting makes him sound kinda more like... mature?? perhaps?? and he is a guy with endless youth and childish energy.. i dont like a luffy that sounds like. a teenager ... ofc i say all this having never watched a full episode of the dub so i could be super off LOL

the live action seems to play nami and zoro as much bigger grumps and ive heard zoro doesnt joke around much and im.... honestly rly worried to watch and be disappointed by that. although tbh nami not being super goofy makes sense to me .. zoro... my beloved zoro.. mackenyu (?) is a perfect zoro in terms of looks so i just hope i love his characterization of him too!!

i watched the april fools video!!!! i recognize that blob but idr the comic name.. very silly though i loved it. i guess i will have to do some pirating.. yarr mateys.

i can sit and watch shortform content for like 6 hours straight but as soon as i feel like i have to pay attention because im afraid of missing any context. suddenly my brain is out the window. i cant handle it anymore. ALSO IVE NEVER SEEN THAT COLORSPREAD??? DOFFY TONGUE PIERCINGS CANON??????

i ALSO loved younger joseph like he was so fun and goofy!!! and then he comes back as a gross old man who not only cheated but cheated with a MUCH younger woman.. and i was like wow!!!! suddenly you are disgusting!!! i will never pity that old man >:( (i will a little)

taking sanji away from oda and dressing him like a doll is Perfect. wonderful analogy. i love it. i keep thinking about dressing characters up like dolls so its topical to me specifically.

admittedly even as a transmasc person i didnt pick up on yamato being a trans guy at first. but all i had to do was look it up.. and read some ppls thoughts on it . and now i will defend him to the ends of the earth. its not hard to learn things that change ur perspective in this age of the internet !! i also agree he's done yamato dirty a few times . honestly when i see people listing reasons yamato isnt trans as like "he was drawn in a womens spread" or "he only identifies as a man because he idolizes a man" its. first of all its so exhausting. bc they always say the same few things. but also!! why did oda have to do him dirty like that!! 😭😭. i genuinely think that him being in a womens spread is probably just transphobia on oda's part (yes i think u can be transphobic towards ur own characters). but the whole "hes not trans because he wants to be *this* man not just *a* man" is so Weird?? like i usually love things being up to readers interpretation (even/especially lgbtq rep tbh) but i think yamato being trans could have been left up to interpretation in a better way?? or like he couldve just said "im a guy" at any point without the whole "because of this man i idolize" thing tacked on. idk if any of this makes sense. I'm trying to explain without spoiling anything LOL. hopefully i succeeded and ur still mostly spoiler free..

i havent written for any op characters before but i can imagine how easy it is!!! and somehow people still butcher their characters LOL its fucking insane. (im bitter)

law!!! yes hes SUPER popular. tbh i liked him real quick after the timeskip. it didnt take much for him to become one of my favorite characters!! all he has to do is make a shocked face every time he ends up going along with the straw hats antics. that is enough. sanji making sandwiches when theyre talking abt the alliance and law says "i dont like bread!!" and then his face of horror when he realizes what hes done .... its so beautiful... i love law and straw hat dynamics!!!

YEAH THATS FROM ONE PIECE PARTY. he actually shows up a lot in that series. i couldnt find all of it online but of what i could find... he was in almost every chapter. it was great. another amazing one piece party moment with law is. the sauna scene where they ask about his tattoos... i . i. i cant even explain how funny it is to me. my explanation could never do it justice.

actually a tierlist sounds Genius.. i am going to make a tierlist. wait for me... i will send it.. whenever im done .. although i dont kno w how to send images... ill find out .

choso is seriously the love of my life (i have many) hes so .. he is so special to me. i have been drawing for a large portion of my life but i spent a long time not taking it seriously out of fear . fanart has reignited my ambition to get better at art!!! its great. thank u hyperfixationions. thank u special interests. thank u audhd.

ok honestly ive never abt eye colors?? i saw recently that robins eyes are actually supposed to be brown not blue tho.. and like... wow... both are so lovely i cant decide what i like more.

to give u an answer though i will brainstorm what eye colors i think they all have!!

luffy: tbh.. like a light reddish brownish color.. i have reasons for this but i cant tell u yet.

nami: a soft orange. she is just so orange. or green!! like the leaf on an orange..

zoro: i... i have no idea for him??? grey?? white?? pink???? green?? im just listing colors?? actually white sounds pretty cool tho.. or maybe a super pale yellow?? that also sounds cool to me..

usopp: his eyes r definitely yellow or green

sanji: ive seen blue and brown for him but tbh as a blue eyed dirty blonde.. i like brown eyes better. i choose brown

chopper: theyre brown. he has big doe eyes. i love deer and their freaky giant eyelashed eyes.

robin: yeah blue or brown are both lovely on her!! tbh i loved her pre timeskip design especially bc the highlights in her hair matched her eyes.. and it was such a nice contrast with her skin color. so i have to choose blue.

franky: my blue eyed king. i love u american boy. they match his hair

brook (for funsies, despite never seeing his eyes): hes gotta have something wacky... rainbow eyes... rainbow.. yes rainbowm.. perfect . ok but actually if i were to choose id choose purple. light purple.

overall i think i chose pretty basic answers (lotta brown and blue). i love brown eyes they r so pretty . also this was very fun to think about???? thank u for asking??? pls tell me what ur headcanons r!!

no yeah i thought possibly it was a name but i was like “haha march anon. bc its march. yea”

jvbhc IT WASNT OBVIOUS WHO YOU WERE TO ME i did not have a guess at all until you said it was obvious and then i got a reply on my post that same day after that that had ur similar typing style and i was like. 👁️oh. KJFNKDSN but yes ur free to stay on anon if u want!! but my dms are always open too 👍

i was a big shipper when i was like. a teenager. and then i grew out of it UNTIL ONE PIECE…IDK WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED AND IM REALLY EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT </3 THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS DAMN STUFF!! i jokingly refer to zosan as my one piece yaoi to my friends. they hate it. so do i,

p.s. the end of that paragraph. took me for a loop. i . WAS NOT EXPECTING HANNYABUL X MAGELLAN SKVNFKD BUT SO TRUE. SO TRUE ‼️

zoro IS a perfect balance its no wonder he’s so well liked (even tho...a lot of dudebros seem to ignore his silly side). whenever i ask someone their favorite one piece character im just expecting them to say zoro tbh. like yea that’s the correct answer. KDNKS not really but its definitely the one i see being most popular. and YES his 3 swords are cool enough but the earrings. does oda know how hard he went giving zoro 3 gold dangly earrings on one ear. like does he know

and you’re right about rayleigh. my friends tell me i am an old man chaser and therefore i am biased but u see my vision. he’s literally hotter when he’s old. it’s the silver fox look.

I KNOW I GOTTA BE SO CLOSE. AHHAGHHH. when i get to katakuri best believe the liveblog will go crazy

my interest has kinda faded with croc too as he hasnt shown up as much…but i know he comes back and when he DOES show up im always so pleasantly surprised i gotta list him. I 1000% think he’s trans (though i dont believe the part about him being luffy’s mom. however. i do enjoy the content that comes from it bc its an interesting concept. and dragon as his ex works weirdly well and is so fucking funny imagining dragon (oh my god i did it too…) missing his ex. 

WOOHOO!!!! AWAITING THE SANJITOKS WITH BATED BREATH. i love that the brook video is making its way around bc its actually a joy. sub does sound “cooler” usually but it just sounds so foreign to me at this point (not foreign in the literal sense of being a diff language. like. just sounds Wrong after being so used to dub.) hold on i need to watch that scene sub now [...]

OKAY. SO. TWO VERY POWERFUL SCENES: i watched both nami’s “help me” at arlong park and robin’s “i want to live” at enies lobby in both sub and dub just now…and for those two in particular. damn theyre actually ALL GOOD?? LIKE ALL REALLY WELL DONE?? although. my favorite dub moment by far. is robin’s “i want to live” in dub. her english voice is my fav compared to the sub by far. if you havent heard it i HIGHLY recommend you check it out like please. for me. literally gives me chills every. time.

tbh that is one of my only major issues with the live action. i actually prefer live action luffy (DONT KILL ME. ITS ONLY BY A LITTLE BIT. INAKI IS JUST SO WONDERFUL AND ITS A COOL ALTERNATE TAKE TO HIS CHARACTER. HE’S..NICER. MORE KIND? BUT NOT IN A WAY THAT I FEEL ERASES MANGA/ANIME LUFFY) tbh the live action tweaked each character a bit. nami is more serious and grumpy, zoro is WAY TOO EDGY?? (zoro is the one i was least happy with) and isnt boisterous nor does he laugh enough (esp for early/pre ts zoro) he does great with the action scenes though. usopp is the closest but he feels more like. suave about his lying whether than nervous? i dont mind it tho. jacob is great. taz is a good sanji but melontee once called him “chad british sanji” and now i cant get tht terrible phrase out of my head KJDNFKVN it really is a fun ride tho!! 

YES THAT COLORSPREADDDD i saw once that apparently the color spreads arent “canon” but whatever. thts not the point. the point is oda has drawn him with tongue piercings which mean he has considered doffy with tongue piercings. its canon to Me

im literally planning to write a fic where sanji goes back to kamabakka with the strawhats and gets forced into doing Kamabakka Island Things (read: gay shit) by Iva even tho he’s embarrassed bc his crew his there. rewriting kamabakka to be better is my favorite past time

u did a good job with the yamato explanation, i already was aware of a lot of that/dont feel spoiled at all! and i agree completely to all of those points. i feel like he Almost wanted to do trans rep but maybe wanted an out ?? or was too scared to go full send with it?? or is just being transphobic lmao. yea. yes to ur whole paragraph basically

law’s “i dont like bread” is iconic ksdnkdc. also ur description of “all he has to do is make a shocked face every time he ends up going along with the straw hats antics” just makes me imagine law pogging all the time. i think that alone just made me like his character more than before KSADNC

I LOOKED UP THE ONEPIECE PART PANEL. “PENIS DEATH” DFKN DF CHOPPA !?!?

if u make a tierlist i will make one…i might have made one b4 actually…i will look. 

HELL YEAA i recently made a bingo for my fav characters across fandoms. u should tell me if u share any . and i think i have it turned on so people can send media in asks?? if not, my submissions are also open

and yes. keep drawing. always and forever as long as its fun!! dont be scared. ur supposd to enjoy it!

yea robin’s eyes are brown in the manga but blue in the anime! i think it was either an error or oda was like “yea whatever thats fine” lmao

luffy’s…”i have reasons for this but i cant tell u yet.” HELLO?? IM SCARED. personally i feel like he has dark brown!!

omg..i like nami’s canon brown eyes but orange or green would be cute!

i 1000% want grey eyes for zoro. i know whenever they stylize the irises in the anime they just color them grey for sanji and zoro but like. for zoro they actually really Work…though i think when u CAN see his irises in colored manga art they’re usually brown? the other most popular option i see people give him in fanart is gold/yellow tho!

VERY INTERESTING USOPP CHOICE?? I WAS GONNA SAY BROWN LIKE NAMI’S BUT MAYBE A BIT DARKER (lighter than luffy’s tho)

ive gotten so used to blue eye sanji bc thats how EVERYONE draws him but in the most recent colorspread…bro. tell me those arent brown. and i recently found other examples with oda colorign his eyes brown, so i think he has a situation similar to robin’s. i prefer brown eyes and brown eyed sanji is so hansome but like. i saw his blues so much that now im torn

i think i actually agree w you about robin for the exact same reason! and bc so many of his characters seem to have brown in “canon”

omg. i havent thought abt franky a lot but hear me out…pink?? i just think it would look good with his hair,

also i consulted this post for what i think their “canon” colors are (in manga)!

RAINBOW EYES FOR BROOK…GAY ASS OLD MAN…light purple would actually look good behind his glasses in his human form!

i might not be able to reply in the next couple days bc i always write so much in these that i sit down to do it at my laptop but i'll keep an eye out and get back to u when i can 🥸

ps...what are ur favorite arcs...

[fivefeats]

2023 turtles... just like me fr. funny thing is i shipped bjyx even before i started watching cql and getting into mdzs, purely because i thought if SO many people were SO passionate about this RPS which has been the #1 CP for years (it’s something i’ve never been fond of, coming from an ex one direction stan... iykyk) plus neither parties have ever spoken up against it in homophobic china ... there has to be some truth to it.

i got into cql during some of the darkest times of my life, when the voices in my head were the loudest. if you’ve read mdzs, you can picture it to be similar to the screaming in wwx’s head when he pulled the sword out of xuanwu. i was aware of cql at its prime, in 2019 when everyone was talking about it. i was aware of the cursed wangxian fic, of the bxg vs mtjj fight that went viral last year. the thing about me is i tend to avoid trends when they’re, you know, trending. perhaps it can be attributed to my desire to be different, as cringey as that might sound.

then i picked up cql, because i was binging on cdramas as a coping mechanism and couldn’t find anything interesting enough to keep me watching over 2 episodes, also because cql has been in the lukewarm (?) part of my to-watch list ever since it hit big lol. call it a 5 out of 10 in terms of want-to-watch if you will.

so i watched cql, absolutely adore it, still having mdzs brainrot while finishing more adaptations (novel & audiodrama), spent hours each day eating years’ worth of candy every single day from cql promotional content to necklaces, learning kadian, reviving my weibo, etc.

and i basically concluded that bjyxszd. not gonna lie i had my doubts at first, eg: the numbers may very well be xzs and ybo messing with turtles’ heads, doing it to rile us up and for economic benefit, but once again. this is china we’re talking about, and if we’re going to talk numbers turtles aren’t /too/ significant compared to solos. along with other ... pretty unwashable/irrefutable candy. things that can’t possibly have a Heterosexual Explanation behind them.

god i’ve been in the fandom space since 2013 but let me tell you the feeling that bjyx fandom gives me is absolutely unparalleled. as a passive, passerby kpop stan i can say that being a bxg hits so different not only because of how c-ent works, but because of how discreet everything is. i’d akin it to... a painting, perhaps Starry Night. the cpns and candies somewhat remind me of the strokes of brown on the tree (?) on the left — they’re not very evident because the starry sky takes up a good portion of the painting, but when you pay attention to the cypress tree. you can see it right away, they have always been there. perhaps meant for most to overlook, and for some to fixate on.

not too long ago, a family member asked me what motivated me; what gave me the strength to live another day. the first thing i thought of was “mum will be sad”, and the second thing that came to my mind was 2026. that was when i realised that to a certain extent, bjyx had became an extension of my reason to live... like i’m talking Living Properly, not just simply existing as a zombie-like individual.

apart from not making my mum sad and owing it to myself to give myself the best experience being alive, i had wanted to live on for another day because to live for another 24 hours meant being 24 hours closer to the day where the possibility of bjyx having their happy ending bears fruit.

when the darkest times in my life had stripped my world of its colours and my heart was plunged into a void of pain, cql had pulled me out of the rut going on in my head, and bjyx showed me the loveliness of their world coloured in shades of green and red, albeit not my own. i guess that’s why bjyx means so much to me; it’s unorthodox, unwavering, and while personally i’m repulsed by the idea of having romantic love in my life  and i’ve given up on a happy ending in that department for myself, i’m still a hopeless romantic in nature. so the least i can do is to channel my love into supporting zz and web from afar, to the best of my capabilities.

god, i don’t chase after men, but i would jog a little to see them happy together.

It’s already 2023 and people are still crossing over to the bjyx fandom. sample comments from passerby under a bjyx video. hahahahahaha! tbh, you don’t even have to fully commit as a turtle because it is a lot. if you appreciate them as individuals, you are good in my book. but i love it when people are like — “i know there is something between them. 👀”

source.

[shipcestuous]

After the last few season of GoT (and the *last* season in particular, but let's not even mention that. I got horrible eyestrain trying to figure out who the fuck was actually getting killed fighting the White Walkers in Winterfell and even that wasn't quite as physically painful as the season's plot) I sincerely thought I wouldn't be able to enjoy any of its spinoffs. I only gave HoTD a chance because I really liked Matt Smith in Doctor Who.

Two episodes in, and I'm actually having a good time and being cautiously optimistic for the future of the series. And shipping Daemon/Rhaenys. And Matt Smith's basically proclaimed himself the captain of the ship! I love how much thought he seems to have put into his vision of them. And I love how he totally went with the "asshole to the world, soft to his girl" take!

I know Rhaenys isn't going to be the only woman in Daemon's life, and isn't the only one even at this point (even if Mysaria might have an inkling that there might be something between them, and not be bothered by it? I know Daemon's supposed to have a thing for deflowering virgins in general... but talking to him about silver-haired virgins in particular in the first episode sure was suggestive, even if in context it was probably just meant to be foreshadowing and not Mysaria consciously if implicitly saying "I know you like her and that's fine by me"), but I really like the special bond between them right now.

HOTD will need to stick the landing and end well before I think any of us can really relax about it. Even though HOTD has new leadership, the kinds of decisions that ruined GOT are still possible. But so far so good, more or less.

Unfortunately, the ship not going to be everything we want in an incest ship, but the show seems to enjoy the relationship and seems to want to depict it in a positive light so that might be the most we can hope for. I'm not familiar with the source material - I need to read Fire and Blood but I haven't - but I remain cautiously optimistic that this will be a good thing and not, in the future, a bitter regret.

I had the same thought about that scene when Mysaria was suggesting that Daemon might want a different girl that night, and then goes on to describe someone just like Rhaenyra.

And she was looking at him like she knew.

They clearly love each other as uncle and niece and that's enough for me. Within their family, that's meaningful enough for me to be having a good time.

Anon from the Daemon/Rhaenyra ask: ... I mixed up Rhaenyra and Rhaenys the whole time there, didn't I? Of course I meant Rhaenyra. I keep mixing those two up! I usually can keep my Daemons and Aemons and Aegons and Aenyses and Aeryses straight, but Rhaenyra and Rhaenys somehow keep confusing me, lol. I guess it might be because Rhaenyra in HoTD reminds me a lot of Daenerys in GoT, a bit in terms of character and attitude but actually more in terms of costumes and hairstyles, so I keep unconsciously smooshing their names together... and the result is poor Rhaenys getting her name taken from her after her crown!

I've heard hard core book fans making that mistake, or not being sure. I still have to check to make sure I've picked the right name. I really do think Rhaenyra's similarities to Daenerys are causing a lot of the confusion.

[bookofmirth]

ok so this might come off as a bit rambly so please bear with me lol

i've noticed that the acotar fandom has this incessant need to be right when it comes to canon and it really sucks out the funness of fandom. shipping is supposed to be fun but when it comes to this fandom, it's almost like a competition to see who will be more right when the books come out. engaging with theories/predictions about characters and the plot is supposed to be exciting but when it comes to this fandom, some of the theories/predictions are problematic at worst and nonsensical at best. like how can you say with your full chest that you're so confident about where the series is heading in the future because of this or that theory when you're stuck in the past and refuse to see what all of the text is telling you in the present. it doesn't make sense. the selective reading is so strong that it has me looking sideways sometimes lol

i guess my question is why do you think the fandom is so divided when it comes to ships right now? i've seen people say this wasn't the case for feysand and nessian, so what's the difference here?

Oh boy Brielle, I have some thoughts on this. It's complex.

To be clear, I am not saying that this applies to literally every single person who ships a certain way. This is a commentary on the fandom as a whole, and there are always exceptions.

This got really, really long, so I'm putting it under the cut.

I think that one of the main draws of this series, and of sjm's writing in general, is her ships. I think that people get very, very attached to their ships.

I also think that sjm does NOT fully think through some of the choices that she makes when writing. See: the way that she takes from all these different cultures and mashes them together, which could be seen as disrespectful of their origin. She has retconned things, like Mor being queer and Lucien being Helion's son. I think that she thoroughly thinks about some of the aspects of her books, like Rhys's reaction to sleeping with Feyre for the first time, but then really half-asses other aspects of her books, like Mor coming out.

Then, we have your good old misogyny and homophobia - people in the fandom don't like Mor because she hurt the poor bat boy's feelings when she didn't sleep with him, and they don't have a mating bond, but she's never really told Azriel "no", and so every single moment of pain that Azriel has felt in 500 years is Morrigan's fault. And Mor's experience as a closeted queer woman who feels unsafe around the people she should trust the most is completely disregarded by the fandom.

Finally, I think that a combination of these factors has created the monster we know as e*riel, and that the fandom is perpetuating its own mythology.

What all of this comes down to, and the real reason I think that the fandom is behaving this way right now, is that e*riel is dead. It's never happened, it's not going to happen, but because we don't have the clear closure we got with moriel (where people would be accused of homophobia for continuing to ship it), people are still trying to figure out any possible way for e*riel to become canon, though every single sign points to it being a non-issue.

This weird thing where people have to be "right" all the time, and the way that "right" = "canon" is a relatively new development. It's as if everyone in this fandom forgot that they are in fact in a fandom, which inherently diverges from canon.

However, I think that the need to cling to canon is because the alternative would be to admit defeat and say "well, even if it doesn't happen I will still ship e*riel, it's fine, I will live with that." But they don't want to do that. In response, they look at canon so hard that they are reading the white space between the letters to create their theories, which as you noted as largely nonsensical and often fail to take into account who the characters are as individuals, how they are connected to other characters, and why it would or wouldn't be appropriate for them to be involved in various plots.

People could say, as eluciens having been saying since day one, "I really ship this thing but I can see that it might not become canon". But they don't say that. They literally refuse to see any other possibility than e*riel becoming canon.

You pointed out that people are stuck in the past - absolutely. The number of reimaginings I have seen of scenes where either Azriel or Elain has literally zero to do with the scene, but people try to shove one or both of them in there. And this from books ago. People are stuck on the Truthteller scene, and refuse to acknowledge that neither of them have acted on their feelings, whatever those might be, for years. And they ignore the fact that once Elain and Az do act, it goes horribly wrong.

Here are the facts as of right now:

ACOSF is the most recent book. In that book, sans extra chapter, those two had no interaction other than looking at one another.

If we include his POV, then he said it was wrong, we got confirmation that nothing has ever happened between them, she returned his necklace. Elain was aroused, but that does not mean she was ready to even have sex. "Yes" to a kiss is not "yes" to every single sexual act Az can think of. They parted on awkward, bad terms after a scene in which it seemed like they were about to start something. Yikes. Unlike Wings and Embers, they did not end that chapter still thinking of one another. After they part ways, the omniscient narrator does not mention Elain, or Az thinking about Elain, again.

His POV occurs months before the end of the book. They do not interact after that.

Elain has a mate she has not rejected, nor accepted.

So anyway, your question was why are people like this. lol. I think the fandom created a monster, and that monster is clinging to life. It can't accept the idea of morphing into a non-canon ship, though it never was canon in the first place. It had just convinced itself that it was.

There are other aspects to this, that have to do with gwynriel and elucien.

Gwynriel is a new ship, it's almost guaranteed to happen, people are super excited to ship it and give Gwyn all their love. I'm sure they would rather create content for that ship than argue about whether or not it's going to be canon, but they are in constant defense mode. Some people honestly didn't like e*riel before because they don't like Elain, or because they don't like Azriel, and those are valid reasons for not liking it. Why people ship gwynriel doesn't matter. The tone of the discussion is, unfortunately, being shaped elsewhere, which I will mention below.

Elucien is an old ship, older than e*riel. I can speak from this perspective - personally, I have been holding my tongue for 4.5 years. I have been letting people live, and just talking about the things I like. Then when acosf came out, it was like I could finally say all the things I had been thinking about Azriel, because I now had proof that the things I thought about his character (and because of that, about e*riel) now had solid canon foundation. This is 4.5 years of me holding in a lot of shit and finally being able to say it. Sometimes yes, I might take joy in having been right.

I think that a few people are clinging to canon, and that sets the tone for the discourse in the fandom. Someone says "according to page whatever, blah blah blah" and people feel the need to respond, and then it turns into and "I'm right" contest instead of... a fandom... A lot of us like debating. To me, it's fun. But when Person A starts a conversation that's about canon and it actually ignores canon, it's hard to let that conversation go by and just keep creating whatever we want to create. Instead, we respond, and so the tone of the conversation is shaped by what Person A decided to say.

I also think that there is a lack of distinction between theories (what will happen in the future) and meta (analysis of what we have now).

There is also a lack of "I" statements. Opinions are being stated as fact.

idk if there is a way to make it better, other than to just go back to ignoring one another. This whole situation makes me want to throw out every single canon ship I like and create exclusively non-canon content, just for spite. Except I really like doing meta, and so I don't want to. I guess for my point, I'll just keep doing meta, keep creating different content, and keep reminding people that they aren't here to continue perpetuating canon, but to play with it.

[sixteenthshen]

post-finale stuff

Possible spoilers. Beware

Last night, I happened to check the scriptwriter's Weibo and saw that she had liked this fan's post. It's the only non-work related Weibo post that she had liked, so of course, I went to read it. 

The fact that this is the only fan post she's given her approval to must mean that it is on point and she agrees with the characterisation. I thought it's pretty good, so I've gone ahead to translate it here. I own 0 rights to this. I just thought it's a good perspective that may help others like me who struggled with the ending. 

I think I've mostly made my peace with it now, and to sum it up:

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they are. 

A-Xu never once blamed Lao Wen for how things turned out because he understood that. And he’s clearly a better person than I am (lol).

Let me be clear about my stand - the real victim of how the drama unfolded in the last six episodes is WKX. When we feel our hearts ache for ZZS, it's because the show let down WKX (the character). If your heart is only hurting for WKX during episodes 33-34, you should try to ship WKX with someone else, ok? If you think the last six episodes were great and that WKX was very romantic (and only romantic), then I honestly don't know what to say. 

I ship wenzhou. That means I like both Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu. I want them to love each other, be good to each other and live happily ever after. And I want them not to be OOC. 

The rest behind the cut. Spoilers for the whole drama. 

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First, the source. Here is a link to that Weibo post, by 爱吐槽的栗小姐. I will delete this if requested by the OP - because this is really in a grey area imo. But I think the intention of a public post is for it to be shared? (especially something like this, which argues a point) 

Secondly, the poster does try to be fair in her post, but as the problem here is WKX's ruined characterisation, ZZS's character is analysed primarily concerning this issue only. There's quite a bit left to ZZS's character and backstory that isn't relevant. I believe that's why the post doesn't elaborate on it, or so I hope.

-------

Ever since WKX faked his death, I received three to four waves of fellow sister fans' mournful wails: "Lao Wen actually faked his death; does he have a heart?" "They were supposed to be of the same heart and treat each other with honesty. How did they regress?" "What happened to their innate soulmate-ness?" "Why does A-Xu always say to face things together, yet Lao Wen always keeps his plans from him?" "A-Xu loves Lao Wen, yet Lao Wen only loves himself"…….

Wait. What have you guys misunderstood about the meaning of soulmates? 

Soulmates are about values, but a person's behaviour… that's methodology FFS! 

(Do they no longer teach this in political affairs class in high school anymore?) 

Wenzhou, these soulmates, are incomparably compatible and mesh well in terms of values. According to the scriptwriter, the entire jianghu wants and tries to get the pieces of Glazed Armour, save the two of them. Not only do they not care for the peerless martial arts, immense power, nor the massive wealth that the Glazed Armour represents, they don't even care for the power they hold in their hands –Ghost Valley and the Window of Heaven. Both of them willing to give it up without a second thought. 

Before they met each other, they were so tired of (ZZS) and so angry at (WKX) this earthly world that they didn't even want to live on anymore. 

After they met each other, they gradually began to feel the warmth in this world again. How nice it would be if they could live in seclusion, hand in hand and just bask in the sun. 

In this world, where everyone else is fighting for power or wealth, they are true soulmates. To intelligent people like them, whether or not they're honest about their identities or secrets is merely a matter of formality. They had already determined their attraction to the other's soul early on and have never doubted it. 

There may be some here who would criticise loudly at this point, "Then can't you be more considerate for your soulmate (the actual phrased used is "spiritual companion")? A-Xu has said many times, let's face everything together, I'll bet that you will be honest with me. If you really love him, then why can't you care for his feelings?" 

----- You guys, you've never been married. 

If two souls meeting can naturally resolve all behavioural conflicts and disagreements, then the theory of "breaking in" * would not exist. 

Let us take a look at what kind of a person WKX and ZZS each are.

Wen Kexing, he's a lone wolf. 

After his parents' death and his entering the Ghost Valley, his smooth sailing life suddenly fell off a cliff. Ever since then, the only person he could rely on was himself. That deep-seated hatred is carved into his bones, yet he can't speak of it to anyone else. He isn't the same type of person as the rest of the ghosts in the Ghost Valley; he isn't the same type of person as A-Xiang, who he raised. If we talk about the world and everyone who lives in it, he doesn't have any fetters or feels any (positive) emotions. 

His supposed craziness is a form of indifference. He's indifferent to others' lives, nor his own, because he just doesn't care. (T/N: I think he does care for his own life, but only for revenge, after that, he's indifferent. Indifferent isn't suicidal. I don't know why some fans seem to be confusing the two. Although he didn't plan to, if he somehow manages to stay alive after getting his revenge, WKX will continue to live on, even if it's only to keep A-Xiang happy because he is indifferent.)

Growing up like this, being solitary became his style. He's used to doing everything alone, used to making his own decisions, used to digesting all his emotions himself. 

Every time he argues with A-Xu, he digests his emotions himself. The next day, he faces A-Xu with a smile again. 

This is how he loves, to take it upon himself to face danger, difficulty and pain alone. It's how he had supported A-Xiang all these years in the Ghost Valley and what he's used to. 

While Zhou Zishu, he's a lead horse (of a herd). ** 

Since a very young age, he's taught to take responsibility. He's used to bearing everything on his shoulders, be it the responsibility of his family or the responsibility for the Four Seasons Manor, even the responsibility for saving commoners from disasters. 

Unlike the lone wolf, the lead horse is ultimately a social animal. 

Regardless of his identity as the Manor Lord of the Four Seasons Manor or the Leader of the Window of Heaven, he's always the one to lead the herd and rarely fights alone. So, A-Xu not only has leadership ability but more than that, he also knows how to be tolerant and accepting of the differences of his team members. You can see the various ways he managed to influence Lao Wen along the road; he's firm when he needs to be and soft the other times. It's absolutely textbook in managing your lover workplace management. 

Zhou Zishu believes in communication whenever there's a problem, that they should be open and honest. So, teamwork is what he's used to. 

Does it mean that when a horse and lone wolf fall in love, that there won't be a breaking in period? 

Obviously not. 

I guess this is where some may say again, "isn't this part of a character's arc/development? The two of them quarrel time and time again. Did WKX not grow at all from it?" 

Of course, after meeting each other, they both grew and saved each other.

When he first left Window of Heaven, A-Xu was lonely with regret. Unlike the lone wolf who's used to doing everything alone, a lead horse without the last of his herd has no way to bear the bone-deep loneliness and merciless self-recrimination.

ZZS wandered around this world aimlessly until Lao Wen started pestering him, until he picked up Zhang Chengling, right up until he felt he hadn't singlehandedly destroyed the Four Seasons Manor. This lead horse finally regained a goal in life. He gained a partner and a lover. Lao Wen sticks to him, Chengling relies on him, and the abandoned Four Seasons Manor became like-new in his hands. He finally reconciles with himself. 

When he first came out of the valley, Lao Wen carried a rage strong enough to burn the world down. But when he met A-Xu, he also met the beauty of the world. 

When the Four Sages of Anji died, WKX understood how he caused innocent suffering. When Gao Chong walked to his death knowingly, he understood that although some may desire power, they could still be righteous and upstanding people. When he learned of everything Long Que sacrificed to protect his family***, he finally relaxed his guard. 

There were so many types of good people and things that he saw along this journey that he hadn't seen in the Ghost Valley. When A-Xu told him he was a good person as they basked in the sun, he genuinely wanted to return to the human (vs ghost) realm and be a good man. 

Along their journey, A-Xu made up for the morals and values that WKX lost in the Ghost Valley and showed him a new world outlook. He appeased Lao Wen's anger, tempered his extremism. The process wasn't easy, but not that difficult either, because, in the end, Lao Wen is kind at heart. 

But in the end, being a lone wolf is how he survived and succeeded in a place like the Ghost Valley. When A-Xu was so heavily injured and needed a lot of rest (for Wu Xi) to save his life, Lao Wen suddenly recalled his enemies and how such an excellent opportunity to take revenge just fell into his lap. Everything was in place, and all he needed to do was hide it from A-Xu; he could leave for a short while and have it settled quickly. Upon returning, he could then live happily ever after with his wife. To a crazy lone wolf, why would he not take a gamble? 

What he couldn't predict was the news would've been leaked (to A-Xu), and he didn't know that by doing so, he would've forever lost his love. 

Both of them were using their own methods to love the other person. Zhou Zishu is more forgiving and accepting because being forgiving is in his blood. While what WKX learned in his years in the Ghost Valley is -- love needs to be protected, like how he has A-Xiang, who he considers a sister, call himself master (to protect her). 

Only when faced with painful consequences can a person's deep-rooted habits and approach to things change. So I don't think faking his death ruined the characterisation of Wen Kexing, but I regret that the last two episodes did not have a scene to show us Lao Wen's heartbreak when he learns the truth. 

Until I know what it feels like to have lost you, I will only love you in my own way. 

T/N: 

*I can't think of the correct phrase for this as I don't read all that much about relationships >< please let me know if you know of it. Here, I'm referring to the process of wearing something new (like shoes) that will hurt at the start until it becomes soft and comfortable. 

** I did some side-reading, and omg, A-Xu is TOTALLY the lead mare. Although he's not the stallion and weak/dying for most of the show, he's the head of their little family, and he expects "to be obeyed", aka, I'm not going to learn how to cook. Call me for dinner. Kthxbye. 

From Rutgers' website: A herd of wild horses consists of one or two stallions, a group of mares, and their foals. The leader of the herd is usually an older mare (the "alpha mare"), even though one stallion owns the herd. She maintains her dominant role even though she may be physically weaker than the others. The older mare has had more experiences, more close encounters, and survived more threats than any other horse in the herd. The requirement of the lead horse is not strength or size; if this were so, then humans could never dominate a horse. Dominance is established not only through aggression but also through attitudes that let the other horses know she expects to be obeyed.

***I think this is important here because WKX wasn't crying for his loss. I think a big part of him was realising not everyone in the world was callous and turned their backs on his parents, that he could've gone his whole life without ever discovering what sacrifices some people have made. Good people suffer quietly and in silence. It's a big moment to realise he was wrong about many things that he had let hatred blind himself to the world. Because although he was sad about the Four Sages and somewhat shocked by Gao Chong's death, he hadn't truly faced up to his actions until now. 

(screenshot of the scriptwriter liking the above post) 

------

To add: 

I'm not sure how many of you read my "opinion" posts, but I've been struggling to find a way to accept the last six episodes of Word of Honor.  I first tried looking at open forum postings, comments, and Tumblr posts. None of it worked because it was just arguing and emotions and no one made points good enough for me to accept things. 

So I gave up and went back to reading Chinese sites. I found many posts discussing the plot. Some I liked, some I didn't, but none satisfied my need for a reasonable explanation. I felt they had biases (both ways), or else it lacked logic. After a time, I realised that I should be looking for WKX-stans (or pro-WKX fans) because they would be more motivated to explain his side, but also because well-written posts by wenzhou-fans & ZZS-stans made me super sad.

I'm sorry, but those who keep trying to explain why the ending was good completely missed that episodes 32-34 are the real problem to those who don't like it and only focused on 36. I can understand if people don't think those episodes are a problem, but no one could provide an articulate and sensible reason. There are just too few well-reasoned plot-focused posts in English (sorry). I've seen too many examples of WKX-fans arguing with people who are upset about the ending, backed by nothing more than "look how much WKX suffers, woe is him. And how romantic is this????" *dies* 

Lastly, if you spot anything inaccurate, let me know & I will correct it.

[genshin-obsessed]

time to feed the pocket. The vampire!kazuha hcs you requested, m’lady;

-part of kazuha‘s vampire abilities would be increased senses, specifically smell and hearing, since this fits in quite well with his canon descriptions of being able to hear the sounds of nature in what most people would interpret as silence, just make it a little more literal. And of course, his increased sense of smell would help him detect blood nearby and it’s quality (because I guess that’s how you determine that? Idk make it make sense.)

-in order for kazuha to be on beidous ship and not be found out on being a vampire, everytime he stops on land, he has to in take wayyy more blood than he would if he just had a little bit regularly. Blood has little to no shelf life, so he can drink as much of what he can fresh, and then have a stash that he downs for the next, maybe max 4 days while being on board. There’s stuff that could be done to preserve it, like adding anti-coagulant to stop the blood from being clotted and disgusting, but it would remove a lot of important nutrients and proteins and that’s pretty notable considering blood is one of, if not the, most important part of a vampires diet. So whenever he’s finally off ship? He’s very, very, hungry.

-Compared to most vampires, Kazuha is fairly modern and quite poor. This is because while most vampires rely on long lineages of wealth, by the time Kazuha came to inherit belongings, there was no wealth to speak of, even with his family being more well known. So instead of wearing clothes and using tools that could be hundreds of years old like most vampires, Kazuha has had to supplement with buying new things to make up for getting pretty much nothing from his family line.

-in terms of victims, often, he finds himself drawn towards people who ingest a lot of herbs, probably because of his love towards nature.

hope these were ok, I’m a little dry on ideas rite now and I have a fear of blood so I’ve never been good with vampires. -🐗boar anon

omg boar anon you're too good to me T^T BUT BUT BUT YOU INSPIRED ME TO ADD SOME OF MY OWN!! i seriously hope this doesn't offend you or like?? make you upset >.< but i decided to add some Kazuha x reader hcs cuz why not??? it fits well here, no?? ima go off what you say!

also yours are much better bc im so tired im starting to get a little dizzy- BUT IM ALMOST DONE

also I was tempted to tag this as x reader but I just left it. you can if you want lmao

cut bc I talk about blood ^w^

pre relationship

Kazuha would meet you in Liyue when he's out searching for "food".

I'm sure he can smell all the people around him and they smell really, really good since he's just really hungry! Not that he would just fall prey to his instincts and start attacking everyone

then you would walk by and you'd smell like... nothing (yeah im going against the troupe here lol)

his crimson eyes would follow your figure, causing him to turn his body just to watch you go. He couldn't help it. He had to know you.

Kazuha follows you and somehow manages to introduce himself to you. You're so kind, greeting him with a smile and making his already-dead heart start beating again.

You're so odd, but you're like a breath of fresh air to him (pun intended???)

For the entire time Beidou's docked near Liyue, he spends with you.

Of course, there are days where he can't help but just wonder what your odorless blood would taste like.

Those days where he gets his intense thirsts for blood- days where he's hunched over, grasping at his chest, he can't help but think of you. It would be so easy for him to just take a little bit of your blood- but no! He could never do that!

relationship established

it took Kazuha some time to confess his secret and you were scared in the beginning, who wouldn't be?

the first time kazuha bit you was an accident. He'd ran out of his blood supply, he was hungry, and you were hugging him so tightly.

he couldn't help his instincts. Kuzuha's eyes were glowing and the dryness in his throat could only be quenched with one thing- and you had plenty of it.

he moved so fast, neither of you could react. before kazuha knew it, the blood in your veins was sliding down his throat.

it was sweet and almost tasted like candy to him- it was so addictive. his arms tightened around your waist as he drank away.

you gasped at the pain, shutting your eyes tightly. but you didn't try to push him away, not unless you felt as if you were in danger, but you trusted him enough.

kazuha doesn't drink from you often, he feels bad. There are days where you'll offer- but he'll decline. But there are days where you can barely get the words out before he's inches away from you, ready to bite down.

Kazuha always feels bad after, he's scared he'll hurt you. Yet, he's always so gentle.

he does still go away to sea and you stay behind, but there's a day where he hopes you'll join him. He's never gone for too long and always comes back home to you.

All in all, Kazuha loves you

and your blood

[karajaynetoday]

i'll be honest, it's better off this way | luke hemmings

image credit 

hello pals! long time no writing! i know it seems a bit weird to post a luke break up fic just after he got engaged but to be fair, I already had this in the works before the news broke yesterday, so soz not soz. It is kind of a happy break up story though... kind of? this one features lyrics from our song by niall and anne marie that are in italics throughout the piece (you know i love a song lyric incorporation lol) and i’m a bit rusty, so any feedback is welcome! a big shoutout to my dearest @notinthesameguey​ for beta-reading this one for me, you’re a gem blanca! enjoy xo

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings:  mentions of a break up and a car accident/hospitalisation (minor/non-graphic)

(This is a fem reader insert)

More writing here | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here | if you’d like to be on my taglist go here

I'll be honest, I'm alright with me

Sunday mornings, in my own bedsheets

The break up with Luke had been easier than you’d first thought. It’d been months of growing apart, feeling like a stranger in your own home, before you finally worked up the nerve to utter those four words: We need to talk. He’d been spending most days and some nights in the studio, and you’d been working overtime at your job too; you were ships in the night who barely had time to say hello and goodbye, let alone have any sort of proper conversation. You’d spent an entire evening rehearsing a script in your head, and as soon as Luke walked through the door and greeted Petunia, you mustered the courage to stand up and speak your truth. 

It turned out that you weren’t alone in feeling stagnant in your relationship, and although you could feel your heart breaking as you said the words, Luke’s hand on your knee was all the gentle reassurance you needed. Just like always, even when your relationship was falling apart, Luke was there for you. And that’s what he promised, that night in the living room. It didn’t make sense for you two to become strangers overnight after 3 years together, but you also both knew that you needed space to grow and heal, and that space needed to happen sooner rather than later. 

You could tell that part of Luke wanted to fight it, wanted to raise his voice, wanted to convince you to stay. But part of Luke also knew that it was time to walk away, no matter how much his heart was feeling like it was being ripped out of his chest, because he did truly love you, and if he loved you, he’d let you go. 

Even though Luke insisted you could stay in the spare room for as long as you liked, it only took a week or so to find a new place. An apartment in KayKay’s building opened up for rent, and thanks to her help, you secured the lease and started moving in as soon as you could. Ashton accompanied you to Ikea and then helped with assembling a new bed and dining table for you, while KayKay helped unpack some of your boxes. You could tell that they were trying to be sensitive, but at the same time were desperate to know what went down in the break up, and after a few slices of pizza and half a bottle of wine, you felt the emotions rushing to the surface.

“It feels dumb to get upset, after all, I was the one who suggested we should break up.” You sniffled, smiling sadly as Ashton handed you a tissue.

“Just because it was something that needed to happen, doesn’t mean you can’t be sad about it. You two shared a lot in the time you were together, it’s only natural that it’s going to take you a while to untangle yourselves from one another and to get your head and heart back on the path that’s right for you.” KayKay spoke softly, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

You knew she was right, and the healing would come; it was all part of the rollercoaster of walking away from someone you thought was the love of your life, but had turned out not to be. Time to adjust and find some independence, and re-shape the life you found yourself in until it was the life you wanted. 

But every time I think that I can get you out my head, you never, ever let me forget

Once you’d completely moved out Luke’s house, your reasons to contact him became few and far between. A few occasional texts to advise that he’d let his family know about your split, and a link to a new cafe nearby that he thought was your kind of vibe (and it absolutely was). Everyone in your friendship group was trying their best to help you both cope, but it was hard to avoid the awkwardness that came with a break up of close friends.  

You felt like you were walking on eggshells for a while, so you started to say no to invitations out. You threw yourself into a new work project, and barely replied to any group chats. Whenever your friends called, you had the perfect script rehearsed, about how you were going to be up for promotion, and after the next month or so, you’d have plenty more time for catching up with everyone. You were fairly certain that no-one believed your story, but you were sticking to it nonetheless. You’d seen photos online of Luke out and about with various beautiful women amongst the partying crew, and even though you knew better than to torture yourself with doom-scrolling through the internet, you couldn’t help yourself. You had to keep reminding yourself that it was YOU that wanted the breakup, and that it was for the best. Or something like that.

It was coming to the end of your big project, and the entire office decided to head out for celebratory drinks. You only stayed for a couple, because after a month of overtime you were ready for bed. Your boss took you aside to assure you that the promotion was yours and the new contract would be on your desk on Monday, and as you reassured him you were excited to take on the role, a song playing over the bar’s speakers made you stop in your tracks. You’d spent many a Sunday morning dancing around the kitchen making pancakes with Luke and singing these words; something you’d completely forgotten until this moment. As you stepped outside to await your Uber, the first person you wanted to call with the news was Luke. Your fingers hovered over his name for a good few minutes before your Uber driver honked and broke you out of her trance, and you settled for texting the group chat instead to share your exciting update. Lots of confetti and heart eyes emojis started popping up alongside congratulatory messages, and you let out a giggle when you saw that Luke had sent a photo of Petunia with “congrats!” scrawled across it in purple font. It was the last thing you remembered, before the squealing of tyres and your vision going black. 

Just when I think you're gone, Hear our song on the radio

Just like that, takes me back, To the places we used to go

The rhythmic beeping of the hospital monitors was the first thing you noticed as you stirred awake. The second was a dull pain across your skull, and the third was that your arm was in a sling. Fourth was the large, warm hand that was holding your own and gently squeezing; without opening your eyes, you knew it was Luke’s. You felt too weak to say any words, so instead you tried your best to squeeze back as you slowly opened your eyes. You heard a sharp intake of breath, before Luke’s smiling face came into view.

“Hey there, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” Luke asked, reaching up to gently brush some hair out of your eyes.

“Like I was in a car accident.” You managed to croak out, shooting him a wry smile and earning a laugh in return.

“You are correct, you can pass go, and collect $200. A pretty gnarly accident, the car’s a write-off, but thankfully everyone’s injuries are relatively minor. Some dickhead ran a red light.” You could tell Luke was trying to remain calm, but under the surface he was pissed.

“Not ideal, but at least I get a few days off work.” You joked, grimacing as you tried to sit up. Luke stood and gently maneuvered your pillows to support your back and shoulders better, and you felt a zap of electricity as his hands brushed your arms in passing.

As Luke sat back in the chair next to the bed, you suddenly realised that it was just the two of you in the hospital room. 

“No offence, Hemmo, but what are you doing here? Considering we’re no longer significant others, and all…” You said awkwardly, looking down at your arm sling with sudden great interest.

“Very observant, dear. Glad to see the concussion hasn’t affected your short term memory, I was worried you’d forget me entirely. You did, however, forget to update your emergency contact details, so I guess I was first on the list for the hospital to call. Ash, KayKay and I have been taking shifts but they’re out getting food right now - “ The rest of Luke’s explanation was cut off by a gasp and a cheer at the door, signalling Ashton and KayKay’s return and subsequent delight at you being awake.

The days that followed were uncomfortable physically, but kind of heartwarming emotionally. You got home to your apartment thanks to KayKay’s assistance, and found that your friends had stocked your fridge and freezer full of ready-made meals and your favourite snacks. They’d also made a roster so not a day went by without someone popping in to check on you, although you noticed that Luke never came by. 

Your recovery was slow but steady, and soon enough the doctors gave you the all clear. At this point, it was nearly 6 months since you’d broken up with Luke, and you could feel your mindset shifting. He was no longer the first person you wanted to call with good or bad news, or the first memories that popped into your head when you needed cheering up. It almost felt like… relief? Because for the longest time, even though you knew the break up was for the best, detaching yourself from one another seemed almost in possible after so many years of so many memories. 

I've been waking up alone, I haven't thought of him for days

I'll be honest, It's better off this way

The tipping point came at Calum’s birthday party, a month or so later. Ashton had invited you out for coffee and nonchalantly mentioned that maybe, possibly, well actually extremely likely almost definitely Luke was bringing a date to the gathering at Cal’s house; a girl he’d been seeing for a month or so. Everyone wanted you to be comfortable, and everyone, Cal especially, wanted you to be there, but they also understood if you wanted to avoid any potential awkward encounters with Luke and his new love interest. You assured Ashton that it would be fine, that you honestly weren’t bothered, and laughed off his suggestion of setting you up with a super hot blind date to help level the playing field.

The night came along, and you found yourself stumbling along Calum’s front path in the dark as you tried not to drop the gift you’d bought for him (a new cookbook and a collection of various hot sauces).  “Bloody 5sos and the “no good party starts until 11pm rule”, you muttered to yourself as you almost tripped over again, and you heard an indignant shout that sounded very Ashton-like behind you.

“Oi! Don’t be mad at us, you know that rule has never let us down!” Ashton bellowed, as he came forward with his phone flashlight switched on, KayKay not too far behind him.

“Damn girl, you like fiiiiiine!” KayKay said, letting out a low whistle. You rolled your eyes, knowing she was exaggerating. Your outfit was essentially a denim skirt and a t-shirt - maybe you’d sexed it up a little bit with some thigh high boots, tousled hair and a red lip, but all’s fair in love and war, right?

The three of you made it inside, and a very tipsy Calum greeted you with open arms and a lot of excitement at your gift of hot sauce. It felt so nice to be back with all your friends at a house party, like the old days, and you found yourself stepping out onto the back patio for a moment of quiet reflection and to share some pats with Duke.

You’d exchanged a wave with Luke when you’d entered the house, but hadn’t quite worked up the confidence to go up and speak to him, especially when he had his new girl in close proximity. She looked really friendly, though, and you could tell from the spark in both of their eyes that their relationship was blossoming in the best possible way. Part of you thought you’d be upset about it, but all you truly felt was content. Content in your life as it was, surrounded by friends that loved you just as much as you loved them, and actually quite proud of how far you’d come over the past year. You’d learned to stand on your own two feet, and you’d grown into a much more settled, independent human as a result. 

You were lost in your train of thought when you heard the song change on the speakers inside. Duke’s ears perked up and he licked your hand attentively when you stopped patting him as the song registered - it was your song. Or at least, it used to be. You felt a smile creep onto your face when you remembered the Sunday mornings of pancakes and singalongs, and the smile grew wider when you saw Luke’s girlfriend dragging him onto the dancefloor, much to his (fake) protests. You made eye contact with your kind-hearted, softly-smiling, gentle-eyed ex-boyfriend, and for a split second you saw a flash of concern cross his face. In response, you raised your glass in a cheers and shot him a wink, which earned a smile and a small laugh from Luke before he turned his attention back to the beautiful girl in his arms. You took a sip, and smiled to yourself. It truly was better off this way. 

When I hear it, I just can't stop smiling, I remember you're gone

Baby, it's just a song on the radio, That we used to know

Taglist: If there’s a line through your name, I couldn’t tag you, so please message me to let me know your new URL or what the go is!   @suchalonelysunflower @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @loveroflrh @spicycal @notinthesameguey @metalandboybands @cheekysos @ashton-trash  @another-lonely-heart @queenalienscherrypie  @becihadshawn  @allthestarsandthemoon  @oyesmendes​ @andrianawinchester @333-xx  @findingliam-o @hoodhoran @rbforsmileycal @myloverboyash @myhappylittleyoutubee @saywhatnow07 @secretsicanthideanymore @ar1analara  @killmywildflower​

[thepunmaster]

For the Ask game Im a few hours late too (idk your writing, but it still)

L U M B E R J A C K

(with the a, pick your fav fic)

L: What’s the weirdest AU you’ve ever come up with?

uhhh..... parody of invader zim except dib can say fuck? i don't make a lot of AUs (okay, i do, but they're mostly related to crossovers via dimensional travel, and i don't think that just the crossover itself counts as weird enough)

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven’t tried yet.

i don't really write romance (since i just... don't ship a lot of characters and also i have no idea how neurotypical alloromantic relationships work because my partner and i are both autistic and aspec) but... it would be pretty cute to write a philza/kristen oneshot (from dream smp), and also badass because one of them is the goddess of death

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

hm... a chosen one story, except that the prophecy was planted by the villain and isn't true. the chosen one lives their entire life being trained and living a specific way in order to fulfill the terms, but then in their "final confrontation" with the villain, the villain reveals the plot and kills them because they are like. 14 and the villain has endless more experience and strength than they do. but the chosen one has an earpiece or the rest of their friends are standing just outside the door or something like that, so everyone finds out that the villain planned all of this so that no one would try to start a revolution, and they band together and defeat the villain. it's an allegory for waiting for someone else to stand up instead of building community and using the power of a group to get a better future

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

the emotion of having to choose between an entirely unfamiliar but better future, versus the painful past that's all you've ever known (which is a theme of several of my wips, including one that is actually available to the public) is, i suppose, an experience i've had often

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

well i've. never actually finished any fics aside from a singular oneshot, and also i have no idea how most of them would end, but I guess... Children of Chaos's sequel would be a bunch of interconnected oneshots about various characters meeting or getting up to shenanigans with their alternate multiverse doubles, if i go through with the ending that i'm 60% sure i want to do

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

yes, Multiverse Glitches by UniverseGlitch was a huge influence on the tone of Children of Chaos, I love the style of crack with a more serious undertone that UniverseGlitch writes... there are various other writers that have influenced various wips, but no one else that I've specifically taken note of, except for harrish6 who is the widely credited creator of "fgod" (forced god of destruction) Error Sans. if comics count, i would say that CrayonQueen's Christmas Party AU was pretty influential in giving me my "Underswap Sans is terrifyingly adorable and adorably terrifying" agenda

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

Children of Chaos was just... you know, they get turned into children, they are agents of chaos (though not literally Chaos-chosen, which is a thing in the fic), i was like 12 when i came up with the name but to be fair my wip-naming skills have not improved and actually might have gotten worse

C: What character do you identify with most?

oh, that's a tough one... there are a lot of characters from many different fandoms that i've seen a part of myself in, but none in particular who i'd say i identify the most with

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

i like reading angst, but thinking of and writing it does notttt come naturally to me lol, so nothing off the top of my head