#I gotta know these things yaknow? because apparently I don't know

[cookidoughlilac]

Q... do we know if Jeff had any middle names?

[the-ghosts-sys]

oh boy, full circle huh?

go dormant anonymously expressing all my angst on tumblr, come back and we're anonymously expressing our experiences on tumblr.

my system is self conscious. full circle again I suppose.. they don't want me to be public yet because they've split twice recently and me coming back they're afraid they'll face more judgement. Franny has this friend who (trigger warning ⚠️ S.H.) was more concerned that Franny had a healthy relationship with Meloy and Gee than he was then Franny relapsed in se1f h@rnn. that same friend sat Franny down and was like "you've split twice in like three weeks and before you started embracing this still you only split once, it seems like it's getting worse" and like, his words really fucked with Franny even though like - they're stupid.

he's not educated, he WANTS a dissociative disorder but acts like it's a game and something he'll have complete control over and like - idk a lot of us are pissed at him but like, we don't have many friend options right now.

umm... but yeah I'm back... the girl I love is dead apparently, but my emotions are shut off from that right now. yeah... shut off from that.

anyway I woke up this morning full of piss and vinegar and Franny was like "who the hell is this?" and everyone was like "not me" and they uh.. were concerned haha. Jove has been talking to me, so she was able to tell them who I am because I just wanted to sleep in and not do the whole "Hi guys" thing.

my name is Lynn, although apparently now we have negative association with that name so maybe I'll switch to my last now Kas. kinda hate both of them tbh - now that we're talking about the whole gender thing and being open I have a lot to re-work through. wish the girl I love was here to work thru it with, but ayo she's dead.

I went dormant June 21st 2017, now August 20 2022 I'm back I guess. they want Lily back.. I mean don't we all - but I think they need to chill a bit. don't gotta solve all the world's problems right away.

(tw: eating issues) I uh - I have not worked thru any of the eating-based-trauma the rest have so uh.. I'm so hungry but that's just like, normal yaknow? Meloy is like "bitch eat" haha, but none of them want to take front from me because it's kinda a big deal being back. Gee has been silent... I hope she's not mad at me for how things were - I honestly don't know if I was the ass to Gee or if it was Harley or Franny - the memory thing is kinda a shitshow at present.

*sigh* God there's soooo much to figure out and I've wasted our whole morning laying in bed haha - but I'm enjoying the peace of knowing when I open the door I won't have to hide from my parents. I don't think Franny's partner will judge us... but I don't know these people the memory thing is a shitshow, so I'll stay quiet for now. there's a friend, we'll call them Confidant, and something in me is saying to message Confidant but honestly I'm content not being known. being known sounds exhausting.

[cookidoughlilac]

Q... do we know if Jeff had any middle names?