#I give u my thoughts and u do what u like with them

[spcherryygirl]

𝓜𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝓐𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 — 𝓙. 𝒕𝒐𝒅𝒅

𝓢 YNOPSIS : : you have bewitched me, body and soul, and i love, love, love you.

𝓒ONTENTS : : yearner!jason todd. yearner!reader. female!reader. injuries( his scars. not detailed, the fic is sfw ). mentions of the lazarus pit. povs are separated ( still in second person. jason's first, then reader's ). ooc(?) jason feeling underserving woah woah woah. fluff. angst (?). mentions of sex. some parts are inspired by lyrics. ( new ) established relationship. no beta read, we die like bruce's parents. wc : 2.4k

BOOKS — DC BOOK

REQUESTED ; SUGGESTED : : @yeoniverseee && @laufeysgoddess

ᨦ𓏲 ، ݃♟❜ : : this is kind of,, a remake of this,,, if u squint.. layout slightly inspired by @laufeysgoddess ' carrd mwah mwah.,, ig it can be gn!reader, ithinkitjinkiithink also. i made hannie & ellie pick a fic to remake & they picked this !! & i was feeling very most ardently these days lolzsk. i am a STRONG believer that jay cried the first time he has sex with someone he really, really loves. like my "my love, mine all mine" fic,, JAY DED CRIED THERE SHUT UP. okay, now im really just recycling the pictures and layouts hehehehe. also,, 800???? YOU GUYS?????? ARE???? 800??? EIGHT HUNDRED ?????? EIGHT FUCKING HUNDRED ???? IM MAKING BABIES W U ALL. some parts here are actually what i said to @fromdove 😋( this is also dedicated to her btw. all of my works r prolly dedicated to her, hannie & ellie ) i love her ( including my cherries ) as much as i love jay, btw !! i tried to be poetic, guys. i really did🥀. idk if i hate this or love THEM. also... @yintous jinxed the crying part........ yin, you freak. this took me a whole week gng #writersblockslanderer. probably not ur taste in fics bc it's more focused on how they love

every time. every single time he finds himself staring at you too long, he hears it in his head like a fucking prayer. not that he's still into that kind of thing, but anyway. there's something sacred about the way you smile at him. something that gives him the sense that he has god's favorite secret beside him on the couch, his hoodie wrapped around your with her hair tied up in a bun and your toes against his thigh.

he thinks you're unreal. and maybe a little unfair. because you're soft with him. too soft. you're gentle in ways he doesn't think he deserves, like you were made to prove him wrong just by existing in his space. just by existing on this planet, actually.

it's a new relationship. not new in the way that it's uncomfortable or awkward. just new enough that he still feels the flutter in his belly when you kiss him first. just new enough that anything little you do still surprises him.

like how you touch his scars.

not with pity. not with horror. and obviously, not even with that unattached interest people sometimes get. no. you touch them like they're part of a map you're memorizing. like your fingers are tracing out every inch of what made him and you don't want to miss a single marker.

"this one," you said once, tracing over the raised scar near his ribs, "looks like a half moon."

and he looked at you like you'd said something ridiculous. because who the hell gazes at a scar━━a remnant of a knife that nearly killed him( not really )━━and thinks of the fucking moon?

you do. apparently.

he wants to write that down somewhere. with a permanent marker. place it into the back of his head so he'll never forget the way you looked at him that way. like you saw something lovely in all the spaces he thought were destroyed. maybe a tattoo would do.

sleeping beside you is its own kind of pain. he doesn't sleep much, usually. his body doesn't find stillness comfortable. but when you're in his arms, curled into his chest, breathing slow and steady and trusting him with your entire heart, he sleeps like the dead. it's dangerous. it's silly( not to you ). it's addictive. he wakes with his arm around your waist and his nose pressed to the back of your neck and wonders if perhaps this is what peace feels like.

god, not once in his life. even when bruce wayne took him in, thought he'd get to feel that.

and when you kiss him━━god, when you kiss him━━it's like you can feel what he wants before he can. you kiss him slow. careful. sometimes sloppy, sometimes quick. but always as if he belongs to you. as if there is another place in the entire world you'd rather be. and he breaks down. melt. dissolves for it every time. he leans into it with his entire body, as if the only thing holding him to reality is your lips on his.

having sex with you isn't forgetting. not with him. not anymore.

it's not an escape. or temporary. it's a return. a coming home. it's permanent.

you're kind to him. not only in kisses. but in the way you look at him when he undresses in front of you. in the way you stroke his back like it's holy. in the way you whisper his name like it's fragile.

he recalls the first time you had sex. the day he first cried while having sex with you. recalls how he attempted to hide it. bury his face in your shoulder and try to convince himself that it was merely sweat. but you were aware. of course, you were aware. and you kissed his temple and whispered, "i've got you," as if he wasn't shattering in your hands.

you make him believe that he is worth the gentleness. worth, this.

and perhaps he is. perhaps, with you, he is.

because you stay. even when he's not speaking. even when he's being grumpy or distant or two steps away from breaking. you stay. you wrap yourself around him and fetch him tea and refuse to ask him questions he doesn't want to respond to. and somehow, that gets him to speak. not everything. but enough. enough for you to understand.

he spoke to you about the pit. once. and only once. you didn't flinch. just gripped his hand. and said he was here. now. with you.

he trusts you.

and that shit scares him.

love was never simple for him. even before the pit. it was always rough. always a distance. but with you, it is. still. not in the boring sense. in the safe sense. in the "i can finally breathe again" sense. it's rough. but no longer a distance.

sometimes you're singing in the kitchen. poorly. on purpose. or not. and he leans in the doorframe and listens to you spin around in your socks, spatula clutched like a microphone, and he thinks, i could die right now and it would be enough.

he doesn't say anything. not yet. but he thinks about it all the time.

and he loves you. most ardently. passionately. in every possible way that a person can love.

in the way he remembers your coffee order and has a hair tie wrapped around his wrist for you.

in the way he allows you to see him when he's at his worst.

in the way he handles you like you're fragile. like you're not. like you're his.

in the way he sleeps more soundly when you're breathing next to him.

in the way he wishes to believe again in the future.

he loves you. hurtfully. shamelessly. completely. perfectly.

and if he could cut that into the sky, he would.

he loves you in the "let's run barefoot across the universe together" sort of way.

to saturn and back and then beyond.

to the spaces between stars where time loses track of how to move.

and jason todd━━jason peter fucking todd━━doesn't want to be rescued anymore. the child. the second robin. red hood. jason todd.

they all just want to stay.

with you.

he has no idea what he looks like when he is in love. but you do.

you've committed it to memory. tattooed it( at least, in your mind you did ) near your heart. the gentle droop of his eyelids when he gazes at you as if you're a dream. the slight opening of his lips, as if there is something he would like to say but can't. how his hand lingers in mid air before it settles on the small of your back, as if requesting permission still, even now, despite all that has happened.

he stares at you as if you're the last sacred thing in a world of tombs.

and you feel it. every ounce of the burden he bears. not because he loads it onto you, but because he never does. he bears it all as though he was meant to endure it alone, and you have to press yourself into the crack just to make him remember that he doesn't have to. not anymore.

you love him like breathing. all the time, without thinking, with no effort at all. it's just there. like his name on your tongue. like his shirts in your drawer. like the way your heart slows when you hear the front door open and it's him. again. and god, you never felt more real.

you remember the first time he told you about the pit. how his voice sounded like it was scraping the edge of something sharp. how he didn’t look at you, didn’t blink, just stared at the floor like it held the truth and the punishment and the apology all at once.

he said it like it was a confession. like it would be the thing that finally pushed you away. that will make you want to not stay.

it didn't.

you simply leaned over, wrapped your fingers around his, and told him, "you're here now."

he blinked then. just once. as if he was trying to process your words. as if he had no idea that something so simple could mean so much.

sometimes, you wonder if jason todd doesn't know that he's still alive.

not just breathing. but alive.

in the way his eyebrow creases when you laugh too loudly. in the way he rolls his eyes when you steal fries from his plate but pushes the rest up towards you anyway. in the way he allows you to sit on his lap with a book in your hand, not saying a word, just,, existing.

his scars don't frighten you. they never have.

he showed them to you as if he was getting ready to be turned down. again. god. it's like he expects you to just vanish. as if he was showing you the remains of a city he didn't think anyone would want to live in.

you touched them all. one by one. kissed the one under his rib. trailed your fingers over the one that curves into his shoulder. learned the mosaics of him with devotion. patience.

"you're not broken," you told him. "you're written."

he didn't say a word for a long time afterward. just gazed at you like you'd reached into your pocket and pulled out the sun and given it to him.

he tries━━no━━he does his best. every day. every time.

that's what bothers you the most. the way he's doing so hard. not to be good. not to be complete. but to be gentle with you. to be with you. even when it hurts. even when he's afraid.

you notice it the way he cradles your face like you'll disappear. the way he asks you "this okay?" even when it's just your limbs knotted up on the couch. the way he wears your keys around his neck( just to make sure he won't lose it, he told you once. ) like they're where they're supposed to be.

you recall the first time you had sex.

how he touched you like prayer. how his lips shook against yours. how his voice cracked when he said your name.

you knew. immediately. when his breath caught and his chest faltered and he tried to hide his face in your neck, you knew.

and so you cradled him. gently and slowly. allowed him to rest in your arms as if he were something fragile. kissed his temple and said, "i've got you," repeatedly until he accepted it. until he relaxed.

you don't realize that no one's ever made him feel little before. like that. little as in the safe kind.

he clung to you as if he thought he'd lose you if he relaxed his hold.

he didn't have anything to say then. just sat there. still. for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

he looks at you as if you're cut out of finer stuff. but you look at him and observe someone who has been to hell and is still willing to be kind. still tries. still wakes up every morning and makes coffee and leans his head on your chest as if he's found home.

you'd adore him in all the iterations of this life. even the ones in which you never get to hold him.

but you do. and that's the part that takes your breath away.

when he kisses you, it's all. everything. like he's famished and you're the only thing that ever satisfied him. he kisses you like nothing else exists. like if he died the instant after, it'd be alright. because he got to have this.

when you kiss him back, you kiss him with the same desperation. the same longing.

he once held your face in his hands, he didn't say it. i don't think he needed to. you don't either. the words, "you feel like home." was a line the author made solely for him. to recite it to you, the love interest. his love interest.

and you smiled as though your heart was breaking.

because that's what he is. to you. every hurting bit of him. every bruise and sigh and quiet stare and kisses. he is home. he is the place you come back to. the one you'd wait for lifetimes. the one you'd fall in love with all over again.

he can't say it in words, so he says it in everything else.

he gives you flowers wrapped up in yesterday's newspaper. leaves you little notes in your pockets. sits with you through thunderstorms just because you hate the sound.

he stays.

even when he's exhausted. even when he thinks he shouldn't.

and you do, too.

you stay when he's quiet. when he's distant. when he's hurting and doesn't talk until you're kissing his bruised knuckles.

you stay when he's laughing and when he's too far gone to remember why and how.

you stay because there's not a piece of him you'd want to leave.

you love him in the gentlest ways. in the harshest ones. in all the ways he doesn't believe he's worthy of being loved.

you love him when he's in your bed, breath warm against you, arms wrapped around your waist like a lifeline.

you love him when he's disappeared for hours and returns with your favorite pastry because he "just happened to pass by."

you love him when he refuses to say he's hurting but lays his head in your lap like a silent surrender.

you love him because you do.

because something in you saw something in him and chose him anyway.

and you think━━no, you know━━that he is the great love of your life.

he doesn't think in miracles. but you do.

and you think he could be one.

because somehow, some way, despite it all, despite the blood and the grave and the fucked up environment, he's here.

with you.

and if you could have him write that in the stars, you would.

because you love him in the way the sky turns soft pink when the sun forgets how to hide, disappear, go down.

because you love him in the pauses between words, in the spaces between stars, in every what if, could be, maybe, probably, really, statistically speaking, almost, & someday.

he has bewitched you. body and soul.

and you never want it to shatter.

© spcherryygirl

[moon-fics]

hi hi hello apologies if u get a whole lotta notifs from me i’M OBSESESSASSEEDDD WITH YOUR WORK UGH SO SO GOOD got me giggling spending all-nighters readig your fics😭 saw that ur requests are open and what do u think of our sweet sweet bob reynolds and a flirty + really outgoing/extroverted reader? like life of the party bc dawg i am SOOO in love with shy boys as an extrovert makes my heart SOAR ugh love you!!!!!

PLEASE NOT THE ALL-NIGHTERS!!!! I never thought I'd have that honor!! I will write this with all my power!!

You don't know how Valentina managed to get everyone to agree to this. Truly, you cannot fathom what she had to pull to get the New Marvels to attend a gala. Yet, here you are in a gown talking to public officials and important people.

It's not that you mind it, because you're glad to be socializing with people outside the team. It's nice to meet people and not have them know about your shame room or your backstory. It's even better when there's free food involved as well.

You're talking to a group of people who you can't remember the names of, but you know one of them is a journalist. You do your best to instill confidence in them about the team and to keep their hopes up.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Bob wearing a suit with his hair greased back. He looks extremely uncomfortable, and you're so glad he's been working on himself. Otherwise, this place would be a mess. However, he still has his limits and you're sure he's reaching it.

You excuse yourself and approach him. He's standing alone because as far as anyone here knows, he's not officially apart of the team.

"You doing ok, Bob?" You ask while stepping in front of him. He gives a shy smile while nodding his head awkwardly.

"Yeah, I just don't enjoy crowds." He answers. There's still a smile on his face even as he pulls at the collar of his jacket.

"Ok, well, you look like a wet cat. So, let's just fix some things," You say. You don't let him protest before you run your hand through his hair. You shake it out until it's no longer streaked back. Instead, it's parted in the middle again, just as it should be. "There we go," You hum.

"D-does it look better?" He asks with uncertainty. His cheeks are a light tint of pink that only you'd notice. It's adorable to see him like this, and you wish you had a camera. "I don't want to get anyone in trouble for looking bad."

"No one is going to get in trouble for how you look. That would be insane, and I'd honestly stomp on anyone's toes if they mentioned it." You assure him. He still looks like he's trying to hide a grimace. You quickly realize it's the coat that's causing the issue. It's tight around his body, and you know he prefers baggy clothes. "I'll take your coat," You suggest.

"What? No, you'd just be holding it the entire night." He says. You give him no room to argue and are already pulling it off his shoulders. The white shirt underneath is enough to keep his appearance. "S-stop!" He insists while trying to pull the coat back on.

"Listen, if it bothers you that much, I'll just wear it!" You huff.

"Wear it? Won't that look weird?" He asks. He aids you in pulling off the coat and lets you take it. You wrap it around your shoulders, and the warm material feels nice on your skin. He stares at you for a few seconds with his lips slightly parted. His eyes roam over you as if taking in your outfit for the first time.

"Got something to say?" You laugh. He snaps his eyes back to your face and gives a half smile. He's adorable, and you cannot stand it.

"N-no, you just look really nice," He mumbles while rubbing his nose with his sleeve nervously. He glances away from you and looks around the crowd. "Do you mind staying with me? I don't like being alone at functions." His voice is soft. His hands fidget with his sleeves, and he squints his eyes.

"Yeah, I'll stay," You agree. You move to stand next to him and get a glimpse of what he sees. As much as you like talking to people, you wish there was more to do. It's fancy, and the music playing sounds like something you'd hear on an elevator. You'd much prefer some more upbeat songs or at least a ball pit. "You look good, too." You comment.

He looks at you, and there's a twinkle in his eyes. "Uh, thanks. I didn't really know how to dress. I had borrowed it from Bucky," He admits quickly. You're surprised by that because the suit should be bigger on him, not smaller. "It's really old." He clarifies when he sees your confused expression.

"Well, next time we'll just stay home." You suggest. "Besides, I'm a little jealous other people get to see you in a suit," You tease.

He clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck. "Y-you are?" He wants confirmation that you aren't making fun of him.

"Oh yeah. I was practically drooling over you when you exited your room," You giggle. He catches on that you're flirting with him and tries his best to play along. Even while his heart is beating way faster than it should.

"Well, I'll, uh, have to take you as my date to one of these sometime," He tries to flirt back. He's certain he's not very good at it, but at least he's trying. "Unless that's not something you want to do. I could totally just wear a suit around the tower more often," He begins rambling.

You slide your hand into his and curl your fingers between his. "Or, you could just ask me out on a regular date," You suggest.

He nods and lets out a chuckle. "I could do that," He shrugs. There’s a moment of silence where you wait for him to ask. Instead, he keeps staring at you with a goofy smile. As if you just hung to stars.

“Are you going to or is this like a waiting situation?” You ask. His eyes widen and he covers her mouth with his free hand. He clearly thought that was him asking you out.

“No, no yeah! I just- I didn’t know if now was a good time or if that meant we were going to go on a date,” He scrambles over his words. “Would y-you like to go on a date… with me?” He asks.

“No, I think you took too long. You’re going to have to wait a week or two,” You tease. You can’t help the sly smile that spreads across your lips. He looks helpless at your statement and it’s almost too much to handle. “Yes, I’ll go out with you,” You confirm.

He lets out a sigh of relief and his body loses any tenseness. “I genuinely thought you were going to make me wait,” He laughs nervously. “I would have but I really wanted to do it sooner than later.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to wait that long either,” You nudge him playfully.

[yvesssssssss]

HAIII I love ur writing sm it tickles my brain heh...could i rq blue lock (anyone it's ok!! but heh..kaiser kunigami, sae and bayou are my favs) x manager reader that's usually blunt forward n quiet but she actually got the warmest smile ever when she smiles??? idk if u have seen when life gives you tangerines but oh my gosh park bogums smile on the series Geniunely had me having a heart attack everytime he was on scene

Blue lock x manager! Reader

—Michael kaiser, sae itoshi, barou shouei, kunigami rensuke

Thank you so much! The way I wrote this is honestly so cringey, but I tried. T_T Still, I hope you like it💞

Michael Kaiser

Kaiser wasn’t used to being ignored.

Not when he walked into rooms like a spotlight followed him. Not when his smirk had fans screaming and cameras snapping. And especially not by someone who worked with him every day.

You were quiet. Not shy—just efficient. Calm. Blunt.

“Why do you always look at me like that?” Kaiser asked one day during training, jogging up to you with that usual glint in his eyes.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re picturing how fast you could bury a body.”

You blinked. “Depends on the soil. You done flexing?”

His teammates wheezed behind him. He was left blinking for once.

You were the team’s manager—always showing up before the players, organizing their chaos into something functional. You gave out water bottles and brutally honest feedback like it was part of your salary package.

Kaiser thought you were amusing. And annoying. And kind of hot in a terrifying way.

⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁.𖥔 ݁ ˖

What got to him the most, though, was that he’d never seen you smile. Not really.

A twitch at the lips when Isagi tripped over a cone. A raised brow when Barou called himself royalty again. But never a full-on, warm, heart-hitting smile.

Until one afternoon.

The team was clearing out after a grueling match, Kaiser sprawled on the bench, shirt off, absolutely done—but watching you. As always.

You were checking gear, murmuring thanks to a junior staff member, and then—you turned slightly, eyes crinkling, lips curling—

And smiled.

Kaiser actually dropped the energy drink he was holding.

It was blinding. Soft and rare, like a dawn over war-torn fields. Your entire face lit up—calm, warm, kind. Not sarcastic. Not forced. Real.

It wasn’t even aimed at him, which made it worse.

“Who the hell was that for?” he demanded, walking up to you like a man betrayed.

“Huh?”

“That smile. The one that looked like it could end wars.”

You blinked at him, back to your usual deadpan expression. “You want one?”

He opened his mouth.

Paused.

“…Yes.”

You tilted your head. And slowly, like the sun peeking from behind storm clouds, you smiled again—just a little. At him.

Kaiser’s ears went red.

“I—uh. Okay. That’s illegal,” he muttered, pointing at you like you were a loaded weapon. “I’m gonna sue. Emotional damage.”

You were already walking away.

“Then stop acting like a victim.”

His heart actually did a backflip.

“…I’m gonna marry you,” he whispered under his breath.

Kunigami rensuke

Kunigami never minded blunt people. In fact, he appreciated them. It was better than the fake smiles and flattery he sometimes got from media staff or fans. But you? You took blunt to a new level.

“You look tired,” he said one morning, wiping sweat from his forehead, trying to make small talk during drills.

“I am tired. You guys don’t clean up your trash and I’m not your mother.”

“…Right.”

Still, he liked talking to you. He liked how steady you were, how nothing ruffled you—not the pressure, not the chaos, not even Kaiser being a diva. And when you did speak, it was short, snappy, and always honest. Refreshing.

But no one had ever seen you smile.

Not once.

Until that late night at the training camp, when everyone else had cleared out. Kunigami had stayed behind, double-checking his gear. You were near the bench, organizing towels and muttering about how someone left their socks inside-out.

He looked up from lacing his shoes—and there it was.

Your laugh. Soft. Sudden.

Someone had texted you, maybe. Or maybe something genuinely made you happy for once. Either way, your lips curled up and your eyes lit from within. It was quiet, gentle, and lasted all of three seconds.

But it knocked the breath out of him.

“…You smiled,” he said, almost in awe.

You turned, expression returning to normal. “Yeah. I do that sometimes. I’m not a robot.”

“I thought you were. Or like—part ghost.”

You gave him a long stare, and he realized too late how stupid that sounded. But then—

You smiled again. Just a little. Just at him.

Warm, unguarded.

“You’re not as dumb as you look, Kunigami.”

He coughed into his fist, ears going hot. “Y-Yeah? Well—cool. Thanks. I think.”

You chuckled—low and genuine—and went back to folding towels.

He stood there a moment longer, staring like a man hit by divine revelation.

God help him, he wanted to see that smile again. Every day. Forever.

Tomorrow, he decided, he was getting up early. Earlier than usual. Maybe you’d smile at him again.

Maybe, if he was lucky, you already liked him a little.

Even if you’d never say it out loud.

Sae itoshi

Sae didn’t pay attention to most people. He had no reason to. Most were too loud, too fake, too eager to get in his space for the wrong reasons.

But you were different.

You were quiet. Not shy—just observant. Efficient. When someone forgot a jersey, you had a spare ready before they noticed. When the coaching staff missed a scheduling error, you were already fixing it. You rarely spoke unless necessary, but when you did, your voice was calm. Unshaken.

And your blunt honesty?

He respected it.

“You looked bored out there,” you told him one day after practice.

“I was.”

“I could tell. But if you're going to half-ass it, at least make it look convincing.”

He’d blinked. Once. Then laughed under his breath.

After that, he paid more attention to you.

You never hovered. Never smiled for no reason. You just worked—always a step ahead of the team, always unbothered by chaos. But you had this quiet way of looking out for people. You noticed when someone was limping and handed them an ice pack without a word. You stood in front of rookies when reporters got too pushy.

It wasn’t flashy. It wasn’t loud.

But it was kind.

One day, he stayed behind after drills. Not for any real reason—just sat on the bench, watching the sky go soft with sunset. You were nearby, cleaning up the med kit, checking supplies.

“You always work this late?”

You didn’t look up. “Someone has to.”

“…You like this job?”

You paused, then glanced at him.

“I like helping people who don’t expect to be helped.”

He looked at you properly then. Not just the usual glance—really looked. You weren’t just efficient. You cared. In that quiet, unnoticed kind of way most people overlooked.

Then, for the first time, he saw it.

You smiled.

It was small. Barely there. But warm. Real. The kind of smile that slipped out when you weren’t thinking too hard. The kind that made your eyes soften, just a bit.

Sae didn’t react outwardly, but something in him stilled.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile,” he said.

You blinked. “…Probably.”

“You should do it more.”

You rolled your eyes, but your lips twitched again, like you were holding back another one.

“Then try being less boring.”

He huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head.

“Fine. I’ll work on it.”

And he did.

Not for the cameras. Not for his reputation.

Just maybe—for you.

Barou

Barou didn’t like being managed. Or ordered. Or reminded to hydrate like he was a child.

But you didn’t treat him like that.

You were quiet, direct, and didn’t waste time. If he forgot to stretch, you’d just say, “Your hamstring’s gonna snap,” and toss him a band. If he got too heated during practice, you handed him a towel and said, “Chill. You’re scaring the interns.”

You didn’t hover or nag. You weren’t afraid of his temper, either. You were… calm. Unfazed. Like you’d seen worse than a guy yelling about meat buns and “kingly” training schedules.

He respected that.

One day, after a particularly frustrating scrimmage, he kicked a cone halfway across the field and stormed off. The team gave him space. So did the coaches.

But not you.

You followed him to the locker room, carrying a wrapped rice ball.

“You didn’t eat,” you said, holding it out like it was the simplest thing in the world.

“I’m not hungry,” he growled.

“Then be angry with a full stomach.”

He looked at you like you’d grown a second head. You weren’t sarcastic. You weren’t mocking him. Just… offering him food, like it was obvious. Like of course you cared, even if you barely spoke half the day.

He snatched it from your hand, grumbling under his breath, but didn’t look away.

And then—he saw it.

You smiled.

Soft. Barely there. But it hit like a punch to the chest.

Not because it was perfect or dazzling. But because it wasn’t. It was quiet. Warm. Like it wasn’t meant to be seen. Like it slipped out because, maybe, you cared more than you let on.

“You’re not as scary when you smile,” you said, tone casual.

Barou blinked. Scowled. Looked away too fast.

“Tch. Don’t say weird stuff.”

You turned to leave.

He glanced back at the rice ball in his hand. Then at your back.

“…Thanks,” he muttered.

You didn’t stop walking, but your voice carried:

“You’re welcome, Your Majesty.”

[stvrkeysgal]

Hii!! I have a request for Drew x actress!reader, where they’re together and reader gets really sick on set where they work together, but she’s really stubborn and doesn’t say anything about it.

Just as they start acting on one of the scenes she gets dizzy, shivers and all that. Obviously everyone notices and Drew gets really concerned and like „why didn’t you say anything?”

OH MY GOD I LOVE U FOR THIS. anyway should i make drew x actress!reader a thing now?

taglist: @jadastarkey @tillysslife @hrtsforstrkysblog @hoefordrewstarkey @ladyatwalmart @drewssgirl

filming should've stopped at the first signs of your performance declining. with the way your words seemed weak enough, or your emotions being a little too dull for the scenes, everyone took notice of how you were feeling at the moment.

as much as possible, you tried to divert everyone's attention to something else, in order not to make them notice about your current state. but somewhat, not all of them bought your words or the way you acted.

you managed to get through some scenes, but not without the crew getting concerned and bothered about your state. "just take some time to rest, y/n. it's not good for you," one of the cameramen says.

you, being the stubborn girl you were, politely declined. "i can do it," you say through a weak smile. "just don't tell drew i feel sick."

you thought drew wouldn't notice at all, but it seemed to you that everything about you doesn't go unnoticed by him.

he doesn't say anything for the first few scenes, thinking you might've just caught a bug or eaten something bad. or was just feeling cold from the place's weather. one of the crew asked if you were alright, in front of drew—of course you just had to say you were, or you would've been a hindrance to filming. at least, it's what you think.

however, drew was keeping a close eye on you. watching your every move and your face, focusing on where you were starting to falter, and catching the differences between your usual self up to now.

he made sure to hold you a little bit tighter for some of the scenes, being extra careful as well, as if to keep you from falling.

but sure enough, everything gets to a point.

you started to feel dizzy, exhausted and every part of your body felt like they were about to give up. if your shivering from earlier wasn't too obvious, it was now.

so during mid-scene, while you stood in front of drew and your sickness starts to kick in, your legs give up, making you fall from where you stood. as if on cue, the filming stops and drew immediately rushes to you, catching you before your knees even hit the floor.

everything starts to fade by then—the lights, your hearing, your sight of everything. but you could make out some words drew was speaking. rushed and panicked words of "are you okay?" or "come on, stay awake for me" leaves his lips.

—

the next thing you remembered was waking up not in your trailer, but drew's.

he was sitting on the couch near his bed, head laid back on it while he rested. a smile formed on your lips, but the moment was killed when you realized why you were here in the first place. "drew?" you called out softly, voice still a little bit weak.

he immediately shoots up from his position, eyes finding you while he walked towards you. "are you crazy?" his statement seemed puzzling enough to you, but you understood where he came from. unfortunately. "i'm sorry," you said. "i—”

"what the hell were you thinking, huh?" he asks, grabbing your hands gently. "you are to rest the moment you feel something's wrong. you chose to film hrough it instead." your head falls down slightly, eyes meeting your intertwined fingers from below you. "i'm sorry, drew."

"why didn't you say anything? i asked the staff when you fainted. fainted! guess what they told me? you asked them not to say anything to me. why?"

"i didn't want them to cut the filming just because i was sick, and i didn't want you to worry about me." drew sighs at that, holding your hands tighter while his heart aches for you. "i don't want this to happen again. got it? next time you feel sick, you tell me. or the staff. i don't care. you just rest. okay?"

he leans in to hug you, while burying his face in your hair. you hug him back, wrapping your weak arms around his body. "thank you, drew. i appreciate it."

oh my god idk what this is but i thank u anon for sending me this request !! loved this sm 🥹 anyway i can't seem to finish anything else lately so pls bear w me while i finish my other works RAAAAHHHHH

> masterlist

[returnofeternity]

hope finals have been going well for you!! they're lowk kicking my ass and i might have to retake them 😭💔 but anyways— nothing but thoughts about adult van 🥲

thinking about being a college student who goes into town during their breaks, trying to find something to do or just eat somewhere for lunch. maybe you bump into van at a café or at her work just out of curiosity, resulting in a spark of a genuine bond that you start coming to her regularly. she gives you sm movie recs and probably great advice whenever you're doubting yourself because of school getting hard that you start crushing on her so bad 😭

⋆🍓

i just finished all of them yesterday!!! i passed all of them 😁 hope u do well on urssss :)

you have a long gap between classes and decide to take the bus/or ur car if you drive (im license-less sorry) to your favorite cafe that always give you freebies. maybe you pass by van when you first walk in! you have to do a double-take because 1. this is the most beautiful woman you've ever seen here, and 2. she calls you babe after you held the door open for her. you're blushing and smiling as you make your way to the cashier, and they know. they mention that her name is van and she's a regular here, almost as regular as you.

you would have never expected that the random video store you happened to stumble upon a few minutes later was run by her.

she's in the back sorting things when you walk in, the little bell ringing to signal that a customer is in, and she yells that she'll be right with you. you walk around in awe, looking at all the awesome vintage items, poking around through old magazines she has and laughing at how there's old porn in here.

"we have vintage tapes too." the raspy voice from behind makes you jump, and you blush bright red at getting caught. your eyes widen when you turn around and see the older woman from the cafe. the one who called you babe. "uh," an awkward sound comes out of your throat. you place the magazine back down and turn around, not ready to face her. "you're from the cafe." she looks you up and down. "did you follow me here?" the woman laughs at your shocked face and scoots past you to rearrange some CDs, grumbling about 'some teenagers.' you scratch your neck and turn around to look at her again. "i just thought the store looked cool. i didn't know you worked here."

you ask her about what she recommends, and you two get lost in a talk about movies, CDs, mp3 players (she has a hard time believing you're even old enough to have had one -__-), and what you like to do for fun. you're genuinely there for hours, just following her while she puts things away and shows you what she has. you end up leaving with like 5 VHS tapes along with the VCR machine she rented out to you. and she expects you to be back to report on all the movies.

at first, she's honestly just a safe space for you :( thinking this older butch lesbian who kind of takes you under her wing, showing you all sorts of queer cinema that you've never even heard of before, always giving you advice and talking to you about things you wanna learn. van who, once you two start to get closer, takes you out to lesbian bars and introduces you to all her older butch and femme friends!!!!

she;s so amazing. you tell her that you're crushing on this girl and she just immediately goes into ways on how to ask her out and when you say EXACTLY what she told you to say, she just says "good job! she'll for sure say yes." like girl 😑😑 she tries to play cool and act like she knew, but she's dying inside.

van who drops you off and picks you up from classes in her truck 😍😍 always kisses you and tells you good luck in your classes, always asks you how your day was and if ur hungry cos she'll take you out to eat :)

always thinkin of movie dates in her room. popping in a VHS and cuddling on the couch, telling her about how you were on ebay and saw this shrek crt tv for sale and that she should totallllyyy get it. and you know van palmer don't mess around about ebay bidding.

ALSO. do yall think this is her skateboard......gulp. butch skateboarder van......

sorry for this added angst but now i just cant stop thinking about being van's favorite regular and hearing about her passing away 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[thetrialsandtribulationsofeb]

Genuinely question, how can you name your blog that if u like buddie? That scene totally put me off then completely, Eddie was so mean and not the guy I thought he was at all.

Saying that with that anger and venom in his voice made me sick to my stomach, like an abusive guy that's gaslighting his partner. And poor Buck was so defensive, trapped in a corner when Eddie pretty much shoved him back abd made him all meek

I really don't know how the buddies have all moved on from it and still think we're going canon I really don't.

It was so mean and reminded me of what my dad was like to my mom 😭

i’m sorry if that scene triggered you. i just didn’t see it the same way (and i say this as someone who grew up with an abusive father too)

eddie wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt buck, which is what an actually abusive person typically does. he was trying to reach buck emotionally, since buck had completely closed himself off after bobby’s funeral. the only reason he said those words about buck being selfish was because he wanted to push buck to open up - which, to be honest, buck kind of needed to do, even though eddie pushing him was wrong

if you look closely, you’ll see that they’re both in the wrong in this scene. buck responds with “i’m sorry bobby’s dead,” which is a hurtful thing to say back, as if eddie isn’t just as devastated as he is

buck was “defensive, trapped in a corner” not because he was afraid of eddie - i think he knows eddie well enough not to feel threatened by his words or consider him “abusive,” as some people like you have suggested, overlooking eddie’s character as a whole - but because eddie’s grief forced him to confront his own, which he was avoiding. buck took bobby’s words about being strong after his death too much to heart. i think bobby said it because he knew buck was passively suicidal and wanted to give him something to hold onto, but it ended up causing buck to ignore his own - and, in the process, everyone else’s - pain because it was too unbearable. all eddie wanted was for buck to finally face it so they could both process their grief together. he wanted buck to be there for him, and he wanted to be there for buck, but he couldn’t do that while buck was repressing everything. so it all came to a head in this kitchen fight

this scene didn’t remind me of how my abusive dad talked to my mother. it reminded me of how my friends and i fight when we’re not doing well mentally - saying dumb things we don’t mean because of heightened emotions. then, later, we realize what a mistake we made, talk it out, apologize, and forgive each other. it takes a very secure connection to be able to be “ugly” with each other. and grief is messy. no matter how much therapy buck and eddie have had, that kind of stress can still revert a person to the unhealed version of themselves. i don’t know a single person who stays cool and rational when they’re going through something traumatic. people are messy and stupid sometimes, and true love is about being able to see each other’s flaws and love each other despite - or maybe even because of - them. obviously, that doesn’t apply if someone is treating you badly on a regular basis, which brings me to my next point:

the words “eddie was so mean and not the guy i thought he was at all” are interesting to me because, well, that’s kind of the point - he’s not like that consistently. if he was acting like this toward buck 24/7, then yeah, he’d be a certified asshole. but it was a one-time thing, and it happened because he was grieving bobby and was mad at himself for not being there when bobby died, and mad at buck for not letting him in so they could deal with this mess together

literally all of their fights happen because they hate being apart and not “having each other’s backs.” the grocery store fight in season 3 happened because eddie had just lost shannon, and not having buck beside him - losing him because of the lawsuit - only added salt to the wound. buck was too caught up in his own pain and abandonment issues to notice how it was affecting the people around him - eddie, chris, and the 118. eddie needed buck, and buck wasn’t there, which led to eddie confronting him. and let’s not forget that “poor buck” physically injured eddie when his jealousy got the best of him in season 7. but eddie forgave him because he understood why buck acted that way. when eddie was moving to el paso, he was mad at buck for not talking to him about how he was actually feeling - though that was eddie’s fault too, because he wasn’t opening up about how much losing buck actually meant to him. they both had to avoid going there because if they did, they’d have to confront why they both didn’t want eddie and chris to stay in el paso. and they weren’t ready to do that yet

honestly, their fights are some of my favorite moments in their relationship because they always come from a place of love and devotion. i love when characters are messy and human. considering both of their childhood traumas, of course their communication won’t always be perfect - especially with those lingering, unspoken feelings between them that they can’t yet address because it’s very delicate and they’re both afraid of crossing that platonic line

but again, i think we need to look at this scene within the context of their entire relationship, where they both show up for each other and express their love 99% of the time. that’s not abusive in any way, in my opinion. people are allowed to be complex and make mistakes as long as they admit them, apologize, and learn from them - which is exactly what buck and eddie do when they hurt each other

buck himself explained it: “so, every day is the best day ever. is that really love? shouldn’t it be when you’re at your worst, they’re at their worst, you have every reason to give up, and you still decide you want to try again?”

i’m also pretty sure that buck would bring up the “trials and tribulations of evan buckley, a tragedy in 97 acts” line to eddie himself and laugh about how ridiculous it sounded - just like he brought up “you know, i thought for sure that day in the grocery store you were going to take a swing at me” and turned it into playful banter. because he knows eddie and trusts him enough to interpret it as “remember that stupid, mean stuff we said during that fight? we’re so dumb sometimes, lol” instead of an actual threat. he knows eddie would never intentionally hurt him

honestly, i don’t even know why i’m responding to this, because i really don’t understand how people interpret that scene as abusive. my mind just didn’t go there at all. but yeah, maybe that helped you see the scene in a different light. if not, then let’s just agree to disagree

[jayaluvsyu]

A paragraph to my 2 fav boys:

@dolly4stxr : Please know I'll always love you. I'll never give up on you.

I'll stay by your side until death seperates us. I'll be here until-the very end. You're my only love. You deserve the world. I'm so sorry that I can be annoying at times I don't mean it I really don't. that's just the way I've been taught.

You make me feel like I belong here. You make me feel like I'm loveable, you make me feel appreciated, loved, welcomed, accepted.

You make me feel less weird.Make me feel like we have no boundaries when I tell you about things.

You're the best boyI could ever ask for, and I never want you to be upset with me. I hope we stick together forever. All the things we should do, all the things we should say, all the things we should think, just anything. Everything about you is so perfect there isn't even enough words in the dictionary to explain my love for you. I ve always felt like an outcast but you make me feel accepted. My pretty boy.

I'll try my hardest to never let you down. I mean it when I say I love you with my heart. I trusted you enough to open up to you. It takes so long for me to do that. Falling in love with your personality and way you talk to me so quickly was so worth it. I'm so happy that we talked that night, or else we never would have happened. You make me feel unexplainable emotions. I got so lucky to meet you. I got so lucky that you talked to me.

You're so special to me and I want you to know that. You don't even know what l would do for you. I love you so so much Ray💗💗

For @kartdeko : You're the sweetest boy I've ever met. Thank you so much for being here when nobody else was. Without you I wouldn't even be here right now. l'd probably be dead.

Even once I die, I'll always watch over you, I'll always follow you around. I'll be this biggest pain to get rid of because we all know I'm gonna try my hardest to not let that happen. Honestly you mean as much as my family means to me. I never want you to think I don't appreciate you because I do, I really do. You mean the world to me. I have no clue what I would do without you, and I don't want to find out.

I'll stay with you forever, until you want me gone. I love you. make you laugh. make u feel wanted. if i had a penny for every time i thought about you, I’d be a damn billionaire . what matters to me is You and I are Bestest Together I choose you. It's not really a difficult decision for me.

As soon as I saw you, my destiny was tied with yours. Some people don't or won't understand, some even won't like it.

But 1 | choose you

because my heart chose yours long before our we even met. I truly feel that we've loved one another before we even met. So my love, I'm comforted by the fact that my love for you is eternal, and that l will see you till the day I die. I want you, and everything that comes with you. I want all your amazing aspects and all you terrifying sides. If there was a word to describe the feelings I have for you it would be incredible because it is incredible how much l love you, how much I care about you, how I look at you, how I talk about you, and it is really just incredible how much l want you forever.I love you Ethan💞💞

(Hell yeah I’m glazing my boys tf I love them)

[rattusrattus3]

bro im the same way about people trying to tell me im autistic like hi i didn't ask ur opinion!! its weird and a common overstep of boundaries ??! nobody ive seen rly talks about that so ya. i hear u fr

RHAhhhhhhhhh thank u for this comment. i’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and been working on a script for it but i’m also worried its not productive to post/won’t be helpful/will be harmful ... but since u sent this ask, im gonna give a little spiel. (aka copy pasting stuff from my script im working on)

The history of psychiatry is FULL of pathologizing people who don't conform.

I want to be really clear about something: I’m not anti-label. I’m not here to shame anyone for seeking a diagnosis, or self diaognosing as autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent. For many people, those words offer community, validation, and access to care. I fully support people embracing the language that helps them feel understood.

what I don’t support is being labeled by others—without my consent.

I’m not in denial. I have my own suspicions, my own experiences, my own rhythms and ways of being. But I’ve also made the intentional choice not to seek a diagnosis—not because I think it’s shameful, but because I don’t want or need it to understand myself. My brain is mine. I like it, & I don’t need a category to validate it/understand how it works.

mental illness is real. neurodivergence is real. but a lot of what makes them unbearable is the world we’re expected to function in. the goal shouldn’t be “how do I fix myself?” but “why is the world so hostile to softness, fluctuation, and need?”

Like ... labels should be helpful, if your autism diagnosis or finding out what autism traits you related to made YOU feel more comfortable, more understanding and able to express yourself, that’s amazing, I am happy for you!!!! It’s not that I’m ignorant of WHY people think I’m autistic. It’s just. Not how I personally choose to understand my brain! I don’t relate to the label ! I’m sorry!!! I’m happy if you do, but the label does not feel helpful to me or like I chose it for myself;.

Let me flap my hands. Let me lose my train of thought. Let me stim or fidget or spiral without assuming I’ve failed some unspoken neurotypical standard—or passed some secret test that earns me some neurodivergent badge. Let people have their brains. Without labeling them. Without “diagnosing” them. Without turning the spectrum of human behavior into a taxonomy of correctness.

There’s a difference between self-recognition and social labeling. Some people find immense relief in terms like ADHD or autism—it helps them understand their needs, find community, and access care. That’s WONDERFUL!!!! That’s valid.

But not everyone wants, needs, or benefits from those labels. And no one should be pressured into claiming an identity that doesn’t resonate, just because someone else finds it familiar.

I am trying to create space that doesn’t require proof of suffering or identity to be treated with basic respect and care. 

let people have their brains. without diagnosis, without moral panic, without gatekeeping or pathologizing.

Neurodiversity also includes people who choose not to label themselves. Mental health acceptance MUST include the right to decline categorization, to refuse treatment, to not be coerced—by the state, by the medical system, or by strangers on the internet who think they’re being supportive.

If we truly want a more inclusive world, we need to move away from the idea that diagnosis = identity, or that only labeled brains are allowed to be strange, brilliant, scattered, or alive in ways that don’t fit the mold.

ps i think autistic people are super cool! i think adhd folks are awesome! i just don't relate to those labels as a way of understanding myself....

also, foucault talking about the body and brain and how they are medicalized seriously radicalized me .. this vid might be handy for anyone curious (its 8 min and a good intro IMO) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBJTeNTZtGU

[southerntigress]

Photoshoot

This one is gonna be absolutely filthy so if that makes u uncomfortable DON'T READ any further

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

when we walk in there's a bed in the corner with cuffs and whips

Nikki walks in behind me and says "I'm gonna be in these photos with u"

I smirk " think u can handle that?"

He smirks "the question is can u handle it?"

" I can handle anything u throw at me baby boy"

he groans " fuuucckk u gotta stop that"

" why? Is it too much?" I smirk

He smirks back " keep it up and I'm gonna throw u on that bed over there and fuck u senseless"

"Don't threaten me with a good time" I wink

he reaches for me and about that time the photographer comes in

I lay on the bed and Nikki cuffs my hands to the headboard he looks at me like he wants to devour me right there

"See something u like?" I giggle and run my foot up his thigh stopping on his crotch he grabs my ankles and pushes my legs up against my chest

"This shoot is fucking over, I'm gonna show u what being a little dick tease gets u" he says thru gritted teeth and slams his hips against mine making me hit the headboard

"Leave" he tells the photographer and she does

I smirk at him and moan "but we haven't started yet" i say and move my foot against him this just edges him on

He rips my clothes off it one swift movement and crashes his lips on mine and I kiss back and he starts to rock his hips against me, I can feel how hard he is and I wiggle my hands in the cuffs

He smirks " what's the matter baby? Don't lie being tied up now do u?" He kisses down my neck and collarbone

When he gets to my nipples he sucks on one as he plays with the other, he pulls back on my nipple and goes to the other one doing the same thing I moan and arch my back He looks at me and smirks continuing his way down my body til he gets to my pussy

"Fucking beautiful" he says and dives right in I jolt and snatched the cuffs so hard I thought I broke my wrists

He chuckles around my clit before flicking it with his tongue making me jolt again. I wrap my legs tightly around his head and arch my back

He wraps his arms around me holding my hips in place as he devours me with his mouth He is showing no mercy and I love it

I grind my core against his face letting my clit rubbing against his nose, he groans and adds two fingers.

I start to shake uncontrollably as my orgasm hits I moan his name and come undone.

He continues til I come down

He crawls up my body and undoes my hands and Immediately grab him and flip him over on his back so that I'm on top

He smirks at me and goes to say something but I put my finger on his lips and shake my head He licks my finger.

I kiss him then pull away kissing his neck and biting down on his sweet spot He almost jolts off the bed, his grip tightens on me

I make my way down his body and undo his pants pulling them down his dick springs out smacking my chin and I lick his tip and blow on it

" Holy shit" he moans loudly

I lick his entire length then take him all the way in my throat he moans and grabs my hair as I start to move my head up and down, I swirl my tongue around his tip dipping in his hole a few times, he arches his back and starts thrusting.

I massage his balls and hum around him and he explodes. I swallow every drop and lick him clean.

I lay beside him both of us panting and absolutely spent

He looks at me and says "I need your pussy wrapped around my dick now"

He suddenly rolls on me and slams into me giving me no time to adjust he starts pounding me hard and rough

I run my nails down his back and this sends into a frenzy and he starts thrusting even harder and I meet his thrusts

I run my hand to his ass squeezing tightly then run my finger between his cheeks playing with the outside of his asshole

His thrusts faltering for a minute " put it in" he says and I do he lets out the most feral moan and goes absolutely wild.

Thrusting so hard the bed is creaking and moving across the room a bit.

After a little while we both cum together and he collapsed on me breathing very heavily

"Holy shit... that was amazing" he says

"Wanna go again?" I ask

" fuck yeah but let me catch my breath"

[luli-lads]

My full thoughts and reactions as I read through it:

- EVIL LADY???? HOT VILLAIN LADY??? PERHAPDST??

- FRACTAL LIBRARY???!?!?!!?!!?! IM SO SICK HOLD ON

- WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. IS THIS CHILD THE ACTUAL ADMIN???????? ....jas?

- I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT. MY THEORY WAS CORRECT, THE LIBRARY MOVES. IT MOVES. OH MY GOD

- Is this the Phantom Thief Pea?

- Ohohoho more Hades-Persephone references I see

- Maybe Dimitri is going to be Sylus' antagonist hmm...

- MY SON!! HI MEPHIE :D

- PFFTTT HAHAHAHAHAAHHA NOT SYLUS PLAYING VIDEOGAMES WITH HIS SONS

- Oh my god the NDZ outfit without the choker....

- "You can definitely afford it..." IM WEAK. IM ON MY KNEES. OOOOUGHHHHH. I'LL GIVE YOU EVERYTHING

- we got stabbed 💀💀💀 can mc get some rest from the horrors 💀💀💀💀

- hehehe sylus yapping about cars is so cute

- 10.5 GRAMS OF SOUL. OW OW OW OW. THAT'S SO ROMANTIC AND ALSO PAINFUL

- OOUGHHHH THE SCENEEEEE HE LOOKS SO GOODDDDD KABDJABSKSBDKWBSKSBSJWBSJA

- pretty boy is sulking because his wifey won't believe in him *ant with bindle*

- what a hot couple. truly

- can we take this as confirmation that sylus noms souls/protocores(?)

- the association watching as mc participates in a killing contest with sylus: 👁️👄👁️

- DIMITRI WAS A RESEARCHER? i wonder if he built the arena there on purpose to hide the lab...

- maybe Westley is that woman we encountered at the beginning?

- OH MY GOD XAVIER CRUMBS???

- AND ZAYNE'S??? EMISSARY???

- AND RAFAYEL'S FUCK

- ARE ALL OF THEM TEST SUBJECTS!?!?!?!?!? DID THEY KNOW EACH OTHER?????

- "our little bomb" i'm going to cave your skull in

- ...origo core?

- thank god she didn't lose her memories 😭

- WAIT SYLUS WAS THE ONE THAT GOT US OUTTA THERE IN THE PAST TOO OMGGGG

- WAS THAT YOUNG SYLUS. HOLD ME

- i'm going to kill a hostage. we're gonna get more info on zayne's relationship with the divine???? u promise???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- higher beings. yes. yes. fuck. yes. please. give it to me. the caller. please. please. please. please.

- Neroooo hiii 🥰🥰🥰

- i'm guessing Zayne wants to join the project to take it down from the inside??

- HAHAHAHAHA HOW MANY SWEETS DOES THIS MAN EAT

- hehehe there's that DB nudge, let's see how it develops though...

- oh.

- is this gonna be a split personality situation...

- THE EPISODE NAME IS 'DAWNBREAKER' STRAIGHT UP. NOBODY MOVE

- IM GOING TO FUCKING CRY. THEY MENTION HIM BY NAME. MY BOY.

- i'm literally shaking i'm not joking

- i can't believe Zayne has officially reached serial killer status in the main story

- his voice 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

- IM??????????? LIKE I—??????

- HE'S OFFICIALLY DAWNBREAKER EVERYONE CHEERED 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

- oh my god...............

- he still hates carrots lmao

- he DOES have some kind of DID omg........

- BAI!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S BAI!!!! fucking hell all of Zayne's timelines are converging...

- oh Zayne knows the boy? interesting

- hold on hold on hold on. i think i get it. this lil dude is the same boy at the end of the fractal library story, and not its actual admin. that's why he knows so much about it still.

- WAIT. FUCK. NEVERMIND I GUESS???????

- ASTRA SKDBANSBQJSBAJSBAKSBQKSBS

- 7 years ago... I wonder why Zayne made that promise though. Maybe he thought by accepting the role he could save MC? Or something?

- i don't vibe with this child anymore

- my theories about the library were right 😋💅🏻✨ they hate to see a bad bitch predicting better than the Foreseer

- CARTER MENTION. CARTERRR. CARTER MENTION WOOOO

- YOU BELIEVED RIGHT CAUSE I WOULD DO ANYTHING YOU ASKED

- i've been shaking my hands so violently that my wrists hurt now

- feeding zayne cookies while he drives 🥰

- YOUNG ZAYNE

- i'll be your lab hamster mouse

- Carter reminds me of Carlton Drake from the first Venom movie

- ksbsjssbsjs Carter is practically drooling at the fact that he got Zayne to visit

- no, he doesn't need any more sugar, trust me Carter 😭

- rip Shiqi 🫡🍫 i would've done the same

- me when i accidentally predicted Zayne freezing Carter to a surface in my fic about them

- "I have a more trustworthy colleague to work with now." HOW IN THE HELL YOU'RE GONNA WRITE THAT AND NOT MAKE ME THINK CARTER AND ZAYNE HAD SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN THEM HELLO?????

- also predicted his mouth being frozen shut for being a yapper woah. my power............

- HOT COUPLE NUMBER TWO OOUGHHHH

- can benedict die already

- I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. I PREDICTED IT. THE MT ETERNAL VICTIMS. I SAID IT. FUCK. I HATE MYSELF

- was that astra. did astra say that. i'm going to throw him off a cliff

- ON THAT NOTE, we have confirmation that dawnbreaker was also caused by astra........... this motherfucker can't give it a rest huh

- can the horrors leave Zayne alone pls. why is he living Silent Hill

- did he just

- dawnbreaker....... tried to......

- RESIGNATION!?

- :((((((((((((((((((

- the creator???????????? whomdst????

- AW THAT'S THE END OUGH

.....time to pull out the whiteboard and red string once more

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Part 9

We started the second flashback.

Mom felt really bad for everyone

She found it funny about the cooking of the queen tho and went “OH I SEE ITS GENETIC!!!”

Also at one point it said XieXie stayed up all night after eating and I know it was part bc of the anxiety but she also went “oh bc of the food huh. Probably got some diarrhea” and mom?! 😭

Also quickly clocked in that the band was Rouye but…Ruoye has been given a new nickname! (Drumroll please!) now it’s Roger. Roger the silk band.

She wasn’t mad about Mu Qing leaving, she said he had all the reason to do it!

When we got the first ghost!Juan appearance I may have accidentally teared up and began to cry a tinyyyy bit (because I kept remembering HC repeating those words to XL after he died ok leave me aloneee) and my mom just looked at me like “hoe tf u crying for keep reading”

Gasped at XieXie stealing. Poor bby :(

SHE DIED AT THE CEMETERY especially bc Juan kept trying to warm XieXie up :(

At the Blessed Land scene she was seeeerthing omg she was maaaaad

Also when Juan kept trying to hit BWX was like JUAN STOP DONT DIE (mom hes already dead 😭)

Then MQ came to give them food. I asked her what she thought and I was SO happy when she said, “poor Mu Qing.” Like it’s so clear he was struggling so much and he HAD tried to help, and I’m so happy she didn’t blindly hate him like some people do 😭 MQ my loveeeee

She felt so sad for baby ghost fire Huahua.

She thinks white no face is XL but kind of like a multiple personality disorder type of thing.

Was literally just. So stressed the entire time she said she isn’t liking this flashback bc it’s too sad.

We stopped right before the 100 sword scenes. Mom’s nervous but we had a baby shower so we couldn’t read.

[vsyrworld]

so, who favours who? | reaction fic to imola gp | hurt/comfort | not beta read. charlos estabelish realitionship | sorry williams

carlos should'nt do this-- prickling his nails during post race debrief. all the team words passed like a whirl wind. his mind is not empty, its actually full of gear working too hard and it suddenly burst into exhaustment at the moment the oil isnt lubricate for him. alex said bla bla, james looking at him questionebly. he is been silent for 90% of time since the debrief started, does he care? no he doesn't. this is a kind of feeling when you had so much to say but none of them is nice.he already talked alot to media, nice , optimist thing, and now he runs out them. as soon as he sat at the chair, the teams start evaluating the strategy, he suddenly become outsider.

this is not first time as soloist. him vs the team, vs the golden boy. the double u logo illmuniating on top of alex head, it glows a blue hue as the LED is beaming slowly, make it alex looks like he belongs there. alex has always. this williams blue blended to ferrari red real quick. different team, same scheme. who works more who favours who, ah kind of favorite child. in momentarly carlos raised his eyebrows at his own thought.

and it create a subtle reaction from james.

"carlos? do you want to say something? it is important for us to know both of driver perspective, please" his voice calm and collected but carlos snorts at himself how facade that words coming from the principle mouth.

fucking british fallacy and all their deceitful commitments. no, carlos doesnt want to be rude. he analyze the team decision pretty logically- about what if, about probability, about experiment that they choose to do at him while he is the one who put car on position, bring the massive upgrade and teach them winning mindset. he believes them because the team is receiving all in all yet he did get nothing.

he doesnt want to throw tantrums about why his hardwork was paid for other driver, not him. but part of him wants to break the silence, screams at them how false james supports sounds. how he constantly lose his confidence at this team. how he hates that can't control the team decision.

its like dejavu. alex - williams to charles - ferrari. the different is ferrari is charles and vice versa, neverless carlos never feel an outsider. maybe because ferrari is stupid enough to ruin he and charles races. or maybe the amount of tifosi loves he still receive until now. and maybe its also charles who makes him bleed red together, give it his all with everything he took from carlos.

at least, ferrari is clowning themself. they don't act kind and praises him like superhero while on his back turning their head aloof. they don't make public statement of how carlos' hardworks is bringing hope for the win while his hardwork is used by the team for someone else. rats. fucking thieves like rats.

"Carlos?" james voice' irritated him. he stays silent because he can. carlos can be a bigboy, can handle thing with such a grace.

"are you listening to us?"

Listening? Of course i am. I listen to every empty promises you just said. what now? does my opinion matters for my advantages? win and lose together more like you guys win alone. no hard feelngs toward alex.

james sighed as his silent treatment. good, he is going to keep them stucked in this suffocatinf room for another ten minutes. "we are already sorry. please tell us how to make it better for next sundays"

already sorry... for being experiment mouse, right? he wonders what james is thinking now, well, and others mechanic. they dreams of pizza and good carbonara maybe. some of them already agitated, eyes darts toward the clock, hand rubbing across their faces. he chuckled again.

five more minutes. "i already said that my point is where you guys build a failing strategy without me knowing-"

"we didn't expect that would be an advantage, carlos. we had to do it to raise the probability-"

"by put me as sacrificial lamb?" carlos cuts james the way james cuts him too. it successfuly, create a tired sigh from all the team. great respons.

"we're just talking in circles..."

"si, there is no point for myself to talk if you are being defensive." two more minute, carlos silenty glancing his phone. "i'm not saying it's a bad strategy. just called it a pure bad luck" his feet shaking when a minute pass but he had to say one more word before he flew away from this drama.

"and i think this race makes me understand the team better" he smiles at everybody to the room. yes yes he understand, williams is ferrari in disguise.

james and alex shared a quick glance, "we glad to hear that", his tone mixed with a reliefed and unfinish question. carlos just let the elephant stands at the corner. next sunday he knew what charachter he needs to play along.

the clock switched to 16.00 on his phone and a new message pop out,

'i'm already here'

'it suffocating here, gigi already threat me for giving him a free tube of lec vanilla flavour'

carlos drags his chair out from the tables, "see you next week guys"

he left the room first. not letting james reached him for another pep talk.

james indeed follows him to his changing room. but gigi, oh well his saviour man in armor, drags his team principle away so he doesn't see, the moment carlos open his door, the monegasque is waiting for him.

james peaks just a fringe point view from the door when it finally close. charles chuckled at the scene,

"didn't knew your team principle is that obssesed with you. maybe more than me." he smiled sheepishly.

carlos rolled his eyes, "how many ice cream did you promise to give gigi, hm?" he sits on the table, while charles is occupied whole of his bed. "pretty intruder. "

"hey!" charles sit up abruptly, "it is easier for you to come to ferrari rather than having me here." he snorts, lips quirked down. things always get the same when charles is annoyed. carlos himself is pleased.

"how many times i said you are always welcome. you are just overthinking it." charles grunted at him.

deep down, carlos was scared to go at ferrari homeland. to see his number replace by lewis is still stinging his heart. but this weekend proves it was nothing, the tifosi cheers him the way charles always conviced him again and again. they recognize his hardwork at quali and still cheering him on despite he wore blue. yes sometimes it still hurts but the way williams did this to him was at another level.

"yeah, it is" he gulped the infused water charles gave him. they sat in silence, letting the adrenaline vanished. it was charles who break the silence by walking toward carlos then throwing his own body to him.

"ooff--" carlos grabs both of charles arms as charles put all his body weight on him like a deadlog.

"i didn't came here to get a silent treatment from you. we are not even racing each other!" charles whined at his juncture of neck. his protest enlighted something in carlos' heart.

"really, you and your competitive ass." soon he is cradling charles with all of his arms. charles purrs like cat as soon as he felt himselr relaxed in hug.

he rocked their body side to side, while his fingers trails to charles head slowly. he plays with the brunnete hair, twirling it softly and his other hand circling on charles' snatched waist perfectly like home.

carlos sighed to himself. yes, tifosi and italy feels like a second home.

"you are way too graceful on the radio" carlos can feel charles snuggles more into his neck, making him ticklish a little bit.

"what else i'm supposed to say?" he asked him, "does it matters if i sounds angry?"

"it did!" charles then looks up at him, "you did angry to me, when the team favours me. what's the difference?"

carlos locks his gaze with charles. his hand stop brushing the hair suddenly. that is a very good question, carlos must say. of four year carlos lives with ferrari golden boy and he is being honest every little detail about it. why he is fighting so much at something inevitable?

"maybe..." he tried to find a word, "maybe because i can fight that. that- i mean, i can fight you. to race me, to ignore team order. because you did it too, you forced me, fight me."

charles blinks at him, demands more answer.

"but this is" carlos licked base of his own lips, "i can't fight them. one versus whole team. my opinion is matter, yes it is. but for them, not for me."

the realization sinked in slowly and he felt how pitying that statement was. charles break the gaze and pulled carlos' neck to rest against chest,

"fair enough," he is mumbling another italian against carlos' nape. "fred is being a bitch, right now" he pats carlos' back.

it takes turns. always take turn to comfort each other between them. carlos put both his palm on charles waist. massaging them like a dog scenting its owner. he is rubbing charles' skin to calm himself, to resent a building tears that threatening to spill from his eyes.

"you can cry on me." charles speaks in italian.

gosh it feels so long they hadn't speak in italian in private. he didn't knew it would create something at his heart. it feels meaningful. like he is longing something he left behind. he feels homecoming. charles and italy, charles and ferrari, and tifosi, vice versa.

"non" carlos shutted his eyes and it ignite another crushful hug from charles.

"ay, cabron-" charles fake spanish accent mocking him, "you had see me ugly in early season and now is your turn"

carlos doesn't say anything instead of burrying his face on charles' neck, holding him so close that almost shielding him from outside world. carlos likes to make him smaller when his feelings is out of control. because charles is here and he is care for him. he sniffed through out his stuffy nose. even though he can still scent charles' fresh showered soap. his finger tracing charles' back slowly, mapping each point he had forgotten.

"next week monaco" his voice is hoarse against charles' skin.

charles replies it with a hum, he can feel it vibrating through his sternum. "and the next next week is spain." charles holds his kind of hopeless laughter.

they knew they will bring dissapointment more than their optimist side. and charles for god sake, having his monaco race at this car condition was not somethinf carlos bear to witness the dissapointment. not when both of them tasted the victory last year. is like rubbing salt over the open wound.

carlos raised his face to meet charles' cheek and plant a soft kiss there. then trailing more down to his neck.

"it's okay" he readjusting the way he sit while charles is standing infront of him. the table is too small for carlos to let charles sit on his lap. so carlos slowly stand up face to face with hand still tangled on charles' waist. "it's okay, it will be okay. we will be okay." he whispered in italian.

"no, we are not. it's a fucking mess" charles speaks in italian can penetrate the emotion deeply than english. carlos can feel charles is shaking on his arms. the monegasque closed his eyes tightly. carlos heart wrenched at the sight. he brought both of his hand to cradle charles face softly.

charles finally look at him with teary eyes, "it's a mess and i fucking missing you everytime and it is hard, carlos. no matter how much i want to deny it and pretend everything is okay. it is not."

"yes, yes, i know" he brings their forehead together, "who the fuck was saying next year it will be easy when we on different team?"

"it's you, you idiot" charles snort at his accusation.

carlos grins at realization, "yeah that was me. the always want to be an optimist man." he dropped his head to charles' shoulder.

they laughed together in each other arms. yes, each weekend is spiraling down worse than he expected. but in imola, he realized he still has home. who waits and welcome him after a long journey he wander about at different island.

he is still their el matador, no matter what. for now, it is enough.

[starleska]

Came as quickly as I could once I'd finished watching a playthrough. There's this stuttery creep who's been revealed to be watching the player, obviously has a crush on them, and will ask for a kiss in the most stuttery dialogue ever. I thought you'd love the lil fella, his name is Lyle, from Look Outside!

asdkflgd HIIIIIII LYLEEEEEEEE 😳😳😳😳💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 omg i'm come over all shy...you absolute bastard you know my type to a TEE!!!! weird creepy stalkery incel-y types do make my heart flutter...he's so cute i can't stand it 🙈🙈🙈 i. i was unfamiliar with Look Outside before you sent this ask, but as a fan of those old-school horror games in the Lisa: The Painful, Ib, Yume Nikki category, what a treat!!!! and L y l e...kgjfdsf buddy there's so much fucking wrong with him but i am scooping up in my arms and giving him kisses even if it DOES feeling like kissing boiling hot glass!!!! we can forgive some stalkerish tendencies when Lyle's such a cutie-pie, surely? certainly i wouldn't mind having my photograph taken 😉 god, gonna put this under the cut for those who haven't seen much of the game. but Lyle's...other appearance is one of the coolest designs i've ever seen:

jesus CHRIST, be still my monsterfucking heart!!!!! 😳😳😳😳😳💖💖💖💖💖 felt my actual heart stop in my throat at that reveal when Sam opened his eyes to that camera lens, holy shit!!! look at how many legs and eyes he's got!!!!! and the wall??? of photographs?? the elongated arms and all those t e e t h, u g h 💦💦 this motherfucker is hitting SQUARE in the middle of several of my ultra-specific types!!! how dare you suggest him 😂😂 10/10 suggestion, i'm going to go and watch all of ManlyBadassHero's playthrough and make preparations for mine and Lyle's wedding, thank you 😳💖 that is, if he ever has eyes for anyone other than Sam...!!!

[beeduoo]

i really like that one tiktok

[dreamsy990]

TELEMACHUS AND ANTINOUS. FINALLY

[lemon-wedges]

Hal and Dave