#I get to suffer all alone until Monday lmao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

frederickkatz · 1 month ago

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Texts: Sparky (Cameron) & Freddie

@cameronslaw

Cam: so my brother thinks you're my sugar daddy

Freddie: I'm not rich enough yet to be a sugar daddy 😆

Freddie: feeling better?

Freddie: you and your brother are so random btw

Cam: I am, I think

Cam: still a bit achy and tired

Cam: but better

Cam: what do you mean we're random?

Freddie: that's good to hear

Freddie: then it's means you need more rest

Freddie: how did that idea even came out in a conversation?

Cam: I've rested enough!

Cam: let me be sociable for a while now lmao

Cam: well

Cam: I mentioned you gave me a new phone

Cam: he said you're my sugar daddy

Cam: I said "yes, are you jealous?"

Cam: see? not random at all

Freddie: ok ok fine. Be social

Freddie: Sorry to disappoint you but I can't be your sugar daddy. Not until I make more money

Freddie: that's the most random conversation in the world

Cam: well i can be a low maintenance sugar baby lol

Cam: I'm happy with buttplugs and smoke alarms lmao

Cam: we've had random-er conversations

Cam: he said you seem less scary face to face than he thought

Freddie: you're anything but low maintenance, Cam

Freddie: ok now you're feeling better for sure

Freddie: that's scary he that wasn't random enough.

Freddie: that's a good thing, right? That he's not scared of me?

Cam: excuse you!!!

Cam: I could be low maintenance if I wanted to

Cam: ...I just usually don't want to

Cam: and yeah, it's actually great!

Cam: he also shares your opinion of that vamp and said he'd have done it if you hadn't

Cam: which is a little scary but hey

Cam: at least you guys have something in common?

Freddie: I doubt it

Freddie: of course you don't want to

Freddie: not surprised. He really cares about you

Freddie: he doesn't look very scary either tho

Freddie: I guess

Freddie: are you still at Trevor's?

Cam: not when I get to be so spoiled (:

Cam: I saw him fighting without his powers, Devon is A BEAST

Cam: I am

Cam: my aim is to go home Monday I think, if everything stays as it is

Freddie: obviously. You like being spoiled

Freddie: does he fight at that fight club?

Freddie: good

Freddie: sounds like a good plan. Don't rush it tho. You shouldn't be alone until you're fully recovered

Cam: I do (:

Cam: he does

Cam: he's awesome at it

Cam: I can handle myself

Cam: and I've already abused of Trevor's hospitality enough

Freddie: I know you do

Freddie: I should go watch him fight

Freddie: still. Don't push yourself

Freddie: I'm sure he doesn't see it like that

Cam: if you go there you have to fight tho

Cam: and it's without powers

Cam: just a headsup

Cam: he doesn't, but still

Cam: I don't like to ask for people's attention, you might've noticed it

Cam: and if all I need to do is stay in bed and order in, I think I can handle that in a day or two

Freddie: I heard some just go for the bets and the fun

Freddie: I know but you're not asking for it. We've been giving it to you because we want to

Freddie: still. I'd rather you not been alone until you're completely recovered

Cam: oh I didn't see that part

Cam: maybe it's yet again another VIP lounge

Cam: yeah but I don't want to abuse

Cam: I don't want that good-will of y'all to run out

Freddie: Warren told me he sometimes went there just to feed on the violence and other times he fights too

Freddie: you were very focused on just one thing last time you were there. Maybe that's why you didn't notice

Freddie: you're not abusing

Freddie: I'm sure it won't

Cam: oh wow

Cam: do you do that too?

Cam: feed on people's hunger?

Cam: I'll try and if I see I need help I'll see what I'll do ok?

Freddie: sometimes. But it's not fun

Freddie: Warren enjoys violence but I don't enjoy suffering

Freddie: not good enough

Freddie: promise you'll call your brother or me or Trevor

Cam: I know you don't

Cam: what happens if you don't feed?

Cam: wait

Cam: are you offering to play nurse too?

Freddie: nothing. We don't need to feed on our main drive but it makes us stronger

Freddie: I'm offering to help if you need me to

Cam: oh that's good

Cam: I mean

Cam: I'm glad you don't have to

Cam: ...but you don't come to my place

Cam: that's sort of an unspoken rule of yours, isn't it?

Freddie: thanks. I'm glad about that too

Freddie: not really. I didn't go because I didn't want to make Trevor uncomfortable but I have the feeling here not that upset about me

Freddie: I don't have to if you don't want me to

Cam: nah strangely I think he's chill about your existence

Cam: does that mean you'd visit me now? like, properly?

Cam: no I

Cam: I think I actually want you to

Cam: if you'd like to, that is

Freddie: I'm glad about that

Freddie: if you want me to

Freddie: ok. I offered, Cameron, that probably means I'd like to

Cam: okay so

Cam: Freddie?

Cam: would you like to spend a couple of days with me at my place?

Cam: and possibly playing nurse?

Freddie: Yes, Cameron. I'd like to be there for you

Freddie: I'm not sure how to play nurse tho. I don't cook but I'll try to help

Cam: well you can get the door and get the food orders, that's alright very helpful

Cam: thank you, freddie

Cam: it means a lot to me that you care enough to offer 💛

Freddie: I can definitely do that

Freddie: you're welcome

Freddie: of course I care. I've told you before

Cam: I'm not questioning that you care

Cam: I just

Cam: I'm not used to people caring

Cam: if this had happened back in Boston I'd have bled out in the street

Cam: and if for some reason I survived, I'd have to find a way to heal by myself

Cam: so it's a big mindset change

Cam: not a bad change

Cam: just a big new

Freddie: you should get used to. I'm sure there's a lot of people here who cares about you

Freddie: I'm glad you're not there anymore

Cam: seems like it

Cam: I'm glad too

Cam: I'll let you know when I'm ready to leave on Monday

Cam: in case you'd like to give me a ride home (:

Freddie: sure! Tho I don't have a car and I don't think appearing might be a good idea for you right now

Cam: why not?

Cam: it's not like I'm not used to it 🤔

Freddie: cause you're still recovering and it might make you puke or feel sick

Freddie: I don't want you to feel sick because of that

Cam: ah there's that, yeah

Cam: It's ok tho! I can Uber home and meet you there

Freddie: yeah so maybe appearing is gonna be off the table for a few more days

Freddie: ok that sounds better. Lemme know when you're there and I'll appear there

Cam: but it's so convenient ):

Cam: that's the spirit!

Cam: and thank you (:

Freddie: I know but just for a few days

Freddie: nothing to thank me for

Cam: so mean, you're already taking my privileges away from me 😛

Cam: but I WANT to thank you

Freddie: I'm not. I'm taking care of you

Freddie: ok. You're welcome, Sparky

Cam: you really are (:

Cam: say, what have you been doing with all of this new found free time?

Freddie: good

Freddie: not much. Warren is taking advantage of it to make me work more for him

Freddie: it's not terrible either. Just lots of reading

Cam: I hope the extra hours are worth it $$$$

Cam: what are you reading?

Freddie: it is. Don't ever tell him I said this but he's very generous

Freddie: makes sense why the people who work with him are so loyal

Freddie: documents on your project actually

Freddie: but I can't tell you until he does. Sorry. I signed an NDA

Cam: guess he learned a thing or two in all those wars huh

Cam: I'm glad you're being well rewarded tho

Cam: otherwise I couldn't be such a high maintenance sugar baby lol

Cam: noooo you can't just tease me like that!!!!

Cam: I'm convalescent!!!!

Freddie: he's a fantastic strategist and he knows keeping his people happy help with the loyalty

Freddie: yeap maybe that'll help me move out soon

Freddie: good point 😆

Freddie: I'm not teasing you. He just wants me to learn more about non profit organization and helping others

Freddie: do you really want me to get in legal troubles with my older brother?

Cam: are you guys talking more?

Cam: welp you'd have a great lawyer defending you lol

Cam: but ok I get it

Cam: how's the "learning about helping others" going?

Cam: bc if you need an eye witness of your progress, I'd take the stand (:

Freddie: yeah

Freddie: I'm pretty sure he made me sign it exactly because of you

Freddie: I suppose it's going well

Freddie: I understand why he's doing it

Freddie: I hadn't taken the time to see the things that happens to other or what they go through

Freddie: now that's nice of you

Cam: lmao I'm gonna take it as a compliment, that your brother thought I could turn you into a gossip

Cam: well it makes me happy that you're taking the time to see it that way

Cam: maybe i should remind you that I can be, in fact, nice (;

Freddie: that or that he doesn't trust me enough yet

Freddie: thanks

Freddie: well only sometime 😛

Cam: you're very trustworthy so I think I'm right

Cam: I remember I was particularly nice the other time I was there 🙃

Freddie: you and him might have a different opinion on that

Freddie: were you? Don't recall it 🤔

Cam: you shouldn't argue with a bedridden person, you know?

Cam: 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮

Cam: then I'll just have to be nice harder next time

Freddie: I'm not even arguing!

Freddie: 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

Freddie: you could also refresh my mind

Cam: well i was talking about what i thought should be quite a mindblowing blowjob but seems like it wasn't that worth of remembering huh

Freddie: hey! Don't be like that

Freddie: I was teasing you

Freddie: it's was the most mind-blowing blow job ever

Cam: so it was memorable, then, it's what i'm getting? 🙃

Cam: it must prove i'm nice then :3

Freddie: it really was

Freddie: it's only proves you're very talented with your mouth but not sure if it proves your niceness

Cam: (:

Cam: :oooooooooooooooooooooo

Cam: and how do i prove my niceness then?

Freddie: not sure

Freddie: lemme think about it and I'll tell you

Cam: ok i can wait (:

Cam: you know where to find me

Freddie: I'll try to have an answer for you on Monday

Cam: okay 💛

#texts: cameron #texts

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looooooooomis · 3 years ago

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FINAL GIRL | FIVE

You were his final girl. And there was no chance in hell that anyone or anything was going to mess that up.

p a r t five | t h e c a b i n (part I)

masterlist here

pairing: Billy Loomis x f!reader word count: 5.6k (I’M SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY) warnings: s m u t (18 +!!!!!)

A/N: after 8 months of MIA, SHE’S BACK BABY!!! this is part 1 of 2 of our fav couple being at the cabin x next chapter will have soft moments I promise lmao

You should have been paying more attention.

If you’d been paying more attention, you wouldn’t have had five sets of eyes currently watching your every move, waiting for an answer you didn’t have. Why had you thought it was a good idea to stay up as late as you had packing your overnight bag for the cabin? If you had gone to bed at a reasonable hour, you wouldn’t have been as braindead as you currently were and, if you hadn’t been braindead, you wouldn’t have wound up in whatever ring of hell you were currently stuck in as your friends stared at you as though you’d grown a second head.

You pleaded with your tongue to say anything, pleaded for your brain to register a decent enough lie to make this uncomfortable silence end but nothing came out of your mouth. Only a pathetic hum and a gusto of forced laughter.

You wanted to die.

It should have been an easy enough answer to what was an even easier question. One that you’d practiced answering for the last two days and yet, as the moment for the lie came and went, you were left scrambling like a fucking moron.

You didn’t dare look at Billy as Sid curled into his side knowing if you managed to catch his coffee-coloured stare, you’d only be met with something between terror and amusement as you royally shit the bed. So, instead, you did the next best thing. You replayed the question over and over again in your head until you were driven mad.

‘Are you up for a movie this weekend?’

It was a simple enough question, one you’d managed to decline easily enough but, as Tatum frowned and asked the one question you were expecting to hear, your mind went blank.

‘Why? What are you doing?’

The answer you were supposed to say: I have to babysit my cousin in Santa Rosa all weekend. The answer they got? Silence. Pure, awkward as fuck, silence.

“Earth to Y/N,” Tatum laughed, brows furrowing. “Are you alive?”

“Sorry,” you huffed out a quiet laugh and shook your head, “I barely slept last night, I’m braindead.”

While it wasn’t a lie, you were still on edge. You’d think after months of sneaking around with the asshole sitting in front of you that you would have chilled out a little more but not today. Maybe it was the nerves of a full weekend away with Billy Loomis as his girlfriend hosted a fucking movie night sans her boyfriend and best friend – but something was making you stumble over what should have been second nature to you.

“You feeling okay?” Sid, the angel she was, asked with a small frown. Your stomach twisted in the familiar way it always did when your sweet friend showed concern. Concern which you most definitely didn’t deserve. “You seem…off.”

It would have been so easy to confess your dark little twisted affair with Billy right then and there. To just open your mouth and let the truth of everything you’d been doing behind her back play out. But you knew it would break her heart and, more than that, you were a fucking coward.

“I’m fine, Sid,” you smacked on a small smile and leaned into your locker. You had one more class until you were home free. Free of your friends’ inquiring eyes, free of Biology, free of Woodsboro. If you managed to get through this incredibly uncomfortable moment. “And I would if I could, trust me. I have to babysit my little cousin in Santa Rosa.” You feigned disappointment with a small frown. You could see Stu’s lips tug up in mild amusement out of the corner of your eye. “She’s nine, so if I don’t come back on Monday, know that she annoyed me to death.”

Randy scoffed and casually threw his arm around your neck. “Every day I’m thankful I don’t have any snot-nosed kids in my family. Losing my weekend to babysit? I’d rather rot.”

Despite your guilt, you managed a small smile as you looked across at him. “I think the kid would rather you rot, too. You’d be a terrible babysitter.”

“She’s right,” Tatum smirked, “you’d show the kid one of your weirdo movies where a girl with big tits is running helplessly away from her killer. It’d scar the kid for life.”

“Or,” Randy mused, “prepare them for the real world. Put some hair on their chest and all that shit.”

“Furthering my point, Meeks, you’d be a shit babysitter.” You laughed. “But, yeah, I’ll be suffering at the hands of a nine-year-old, so you guys have fun without me.”

“How about you, lover boy?” Tatum asked, looking across at Billy. “Will you be joining us this weekend?”

You should have averted your eyes. Should have done anything besides wait, with bated breath, to see what Billy would say. Slowly, those brown eyes tapered over towards you just briefly before looking at Tatum. With a casual shrug of his shoulders, Billy shook his head and leaned into Sid. “Can’t,” he merely said, “I’m going up north with my dad. He wants to get some of his affairs in order or something, I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair. “All I know is I was promised free beer if I helped him. So, I’m helping him.”

If Sid caught onto his lie, her face didn’t betray her once. And, as she looked up at her boyfriend with doting eyes, you couldn’t help but feel that pang of shame slice into your gut once again. She believed him. She always believed him. Believed you. Regardless of how good it felt to have Billy, that shame of knowing just who it was unwittingly hurting in the process never dissipated.

“You sure you guys won’t need help?” Sid asked, further digging that knife of shame into your chest. “Besides this movie, I’ve got nothing else going on this weekend.”

“Real nice,” Randy teased. “She’d rather watch Billy’s dad punch away at a fucking calculator then sit down with her nearest and dearest.”

Billy ignored Randy entirely as he glanced down at the brunette. “I’m sure,” he affirmed, giving her a quick squeeze. “Enjoy the movie night. I’ll be there for the next one.”

He lied so effortlessly, so casually, that it should have unnerved you. But it didn’t. Because for as good of a liar Billy Loomis was, you were right here with him. This dangerous little game the two of you were playing was becoming second nature to you and for as much as it pained you to see Sidney get lied to, you couldn’t help yourself.

You loved Billy. Billy loved you. Right person, wrong time. Only rather than wait like you knew you should have, Billy’s glow was much too enthralling to miss. You were both moths to each other’s’ flames and no amount of guilt or shame was strong enough to outweigh the otherworldly affliction the two of you had for one another.

The bell signifying your final class rung out, snapping you out of your brief reverie as you blinked and focused on pushing Randy off of you. “Want to drive me to the bus station?” You asked him. “I don’t want to drive all the way to Santa Rosa, so I bought a bus ticket.”

“Tonight?” Randy considered it briefly before shrugging. “Sure, I guess. I’ve got a shift tonight at seven, though. When’s your bus leave?”

“Six thirty,” you lied, mainly doing this so that should anyone drive by your house this weekend and see your car still neatly parked in your driveway, they wouldn’t bat an eye. “I owe you.”

“Yeah, you do,” Randy agreed. “And, lucky for you, I accept a lot of different payment options.” He wriggled his brows, earning a playful smack from you and an annoyed glare from Billy. Thankfully, Randy didn’t catch onto the latter. “Pick you up at six?”

You nodded. “Perfect.”

With your eyes flickering to Billy’s once more, you managed to shoot everyone a quick smile before disappearing down the hall towards Biology. Just how you’d managed to dance your way out of what could have been an incredibly awkward moment, you didn’t know. But as you felt that weighty stare of Billy’s on your back as you walked away, there was an air of excitement that swallowed you whole.

No matter how much guilt you felt, no matter how sick it made you to see Sidney get hurt, even if she didn’t quite know about just yet, there was a much larger part of you that couldn’t wait to get Billy alone.

Because for the first time in the seven months since you’d started this torrid little affair, you were finally getting Billy all to yourself. No prying eyes, no secret kisses, no having to hide every part of your relationship with the man. None of that.

This weekend, it was you and it was Billy.

And you couldn’t fucking wait.

»»-------------¤-------------««

Randy, being the superstar he was, had dropped you off at the station a little after six-fifteen and by six-thirty-two, just around the time the actual bus was leaving for Santa Rosa, you were scrambling into Billy’s car with a wild grin on your face.

Just how the pair of you had managed to pull it off, especially given your brain lapse earlier in the day, was beyond you. But, as Billy tore off down the main street leading to the freeway, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of freedom engulf you the farther and farther you got from town.

It was exhilarating.

And, as you glanced at Billy, who couldn’t have looked more like a movie star with his dark locks blowing with the wind cascading in through his open window, you couldn’t help but reach across the divide to gently squeeze his jean-clad thigh.

“Thank you,” you found yourself muttering and as those brown eyes met yours, you couldn’t help but grin. “For your stupid key proposal. In hindsight, it was very sweet.”

The dimple in Billy’s cheek deepened as his own grin grew. “Glad you let me steal you away?”

You loosened your seatbelt momentarily and leaned across to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Very glad.” You made a move to pull away but stopped when he gently grabbed your chin with the hand not holding the wheel. “What—”

The kiss, while dangerously stupid, was short and sweet but the emotion behind it, the genuine happiness that exuded out of Billy in those few seconds was palpable. “I really do fucking love you, you know that?”

“You’ve mentioned it,” you hummed and slinked back into your seat. When his large hand found your thigh, he gave it a firm squeeze that sent shockwaves throughout your whole body.

“Not going to say it back?” He teased, giving you a sidelong glance as he drew nearer to the freeway.

“I’d rather show it.” Rather than put your seatbelt back on, you shimmed in your seat and leaned into him as your fingers scraped along his thighs towards the button of his jeans. “Eyes on the road, Loomis.”

Easier said than done, Billy thought, torn between watching the road and watching you unzip his jeans. Raising his ass out of the seat just long enough to allow you to tug his pants down his thighs, the second Billy saw yours eyes light up as his now somewhat erect cock sprung free of his jeans, keeping his eyes on the road seemed impossible. But, the second he saw that pretty mouth of yours perk up in anticipation, it was game over. “Are you trying to get us killed?”

A low chuckle escaped your lips as you began to pump his length with your hand. “Focus on the road, Billy.”

“You say that like it’s easy.” Not being able to keep his hands off of you, he reached for your nipple and gave it a pinch through your shirt. “Take your shirt off, baby.”

“Shut up and drive.” You chided him, shimming in your seat so that you were on your knees leaning over the console. His cock was rock hard now and, as you ran your tongue alongside his length, from the base of it all the way up to coax your tongue along the precum that had gathered along his head, you felt him shiver beneath you.

“Fuck,” he hissed, tangling his fingers through your hair. You were too fucking good with that mouth of yours.

Still pumping the base of his cock with one hand, you swirled your tongue along the tip of his dick again before taking that perfectly girthy cock in your mouth. His grip tightened on your hair and your eyes watered as he pushed your head down to fully take the length of him inside of your mouth. He heard you gag on him but even as his grip eased up, you continued your pursuit of deepthroating him.

His breathing was shallow as he felt your hot mouth all over him. Between the sounds of your wet mouth taking him in and the occasional gag as you choked on his length, Billy was in heaven.

But having you this close as you fucked him with your mouth whilst still fully clothed was killing him. He needed to feel you. He wanted to feel your juices on his fingers and running down those perfect fucking thighs as he fingerfucked you. He wanted to hear you moan, feel you moan on his cock as he made you feel as good as you were making him feel.

He wanted all of you, needed all of you.

Trying his damnedest not to shut his eyes as your mouth brought him closer to the edge, he reached beneath you to work on your own zipper but when that proved to be impossible, a frustrated growl tore out of his lips. “Undo your pants.” He hissed through bared teeth.

You hummed against his dick which nearly sent him into the other land of traffic. “No,” you purred, “I want to make you feel good.”

With one hand on the wheel and the other now gliding up and down your back as you fucked him with your mouth, Billy couldn’t help but buck into your mouth as you began to massage his balls. He was going to bust and soon if he wasn’t careful.

You were too fucking good and he was too fucking in love with you not to get lost in the way you made him feel.

“Touch yourself, at least,” he breathed out, desperate to see that pretty cunt. “Please, baby.”

Not granting him the satisfaction, you simply dug your nails into his thighs and moaned onto his cock and the sensation of it alone was almost enough to make him come down your throat. It seemed to slither around his cock, making him twitch and buck into your mouth.

But it was the second you moaned out his name as you swirled your wet mouth along the head of his dick one final time, swallowing back his precum with a contented hum, that Billy blew his loud inside of your mouth.

For a good five seconds, he didn’t care if he crashed the goddamn car as he watched you swallow his seed. He was bucking into your mouth, his breathing was ragged, as you guzzled him back and, as you finally released his cock with a pop, Billy almost lost it.

With a devilish grin, you simply wiped a finger along the edge of your lips and leaned back into your seat with a satisfied glimmer in your eyes. You knew you’d be in for it once he got his hands on you at the cabin, but for now, as you watched him lamely try and pull his jeans up his body to cover his slowly softening cock, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“What’s the matter, Billy?” You teased, fastening your seatbelt back up. “You look a little rattled.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he simpered, not bothering with the zipper or button of his jeans. Instead, he reached across the divide and grabbed for your hand as he ghosted his lips across your knuckles. “Just wait until we get to the cabin.”

With your suspicions confirmed, you couldn’t help but beam across at him as you drove further and further away from Woodsboro. That was definitely a threat and good god were you excited for its execution.

»»-------------¤-------------««

By the time you’d pulled into the Loomis family cabin, it was pitch black outside.

The moon was too high in the sky and only a sliver of its light poked through the tall pine trees that surrounded the small house but, even with the low light surrounding you, the shadows that danced along the lake was enough to bring out a small smile as you quietly made your way out of the car. You didn’t need full sun to see the beauty surrounding you and the smell of the fresh air mixed with the spice of pine made any ounce of nerves filter out of you.

You were happy.

Unreservedly so.

Glancing across the roof towards Billy, he seemed almost distracted as he looked around at the familiar surroundings. You couldn’t quite tell if he was feeling as happy as you were in those brief moments, but you couldn’t quite blame him for that. The cabin held a lot of memories within it, many of which you knew included his mother. Where you felt freed and excited, you could tell the weight of his current whereabouts was heavy on his shoulders.

“Hey,” you muttered, slicing into the quietude around you. Walking around the front of the car, those brown eyes found yours as you circled your arms around his middle. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he assured, but his voice was low and distant. All the same, however, his strong arms enveloped you as he kissed your hairline. “Lost in a memory, I guess.”

You nodded into the crook of his neck but said nothing. He needed time to decompress, to familiarize himself with a house he hadn’t been in since his mother left. So, you’d give him that time.

For what must have been minutes, the two of you simply stood at the helm of porch holding onto one another. It wasn’t until Billy placed another quick kiss to your forehead that you felt his arms slowly fall only to grasp your hand in his own. “Come on,” he hummed. His grip on your hand was firm as he walked up the steps leading to the wrap around porch and as he stuck the key inside of the lock and opened the front door, the smell of cedar surrounded you.

The cabin was gorgeous. Wooden slats covered every square inch of the small house and a small fireplace sat at the front of the house with a worn-in couch and chair facing it. It was obvious nobody had come to visit for quite some time judging by the dust lining most of the countertops and shelving units, but you didn’t care.

To you, it was perfect.

Your own little oasis with the boy you loved without any sort of outside interruption.

You released his hand to take a brief look around the small living space but you could feel his eyes on you with every step you took. You knew he was looking to get even with you after your little stunt in the car, but you also knew that he hadn’t quite been expecting the swell of emotions to hit him upon driving up to the cabin. So, you continued to wander around the cabin to both grant him the space he may or may not have needed and, simply, to snoop around.

There were family pictures lining the tables and one in particular made you smile as you caught sight of a young Billy swinging from a tire swing. With a quiet laugh, you picked the frame up and surveyed it with a fond smile on your lips. “Cute,” you remarked, looking across to catch his stare. “A little model, eh?”

Billy watched you carefully place the frame down on the table before continuing on with your self-guided tour. No matter how hard he tried, regardless of the bittersweet memories swirling around inside of his brain, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Not that he ever really could, but there was an ease rolling off of you tonight, coming off of you in waves, that drew him in.

“I’ve been thinking about this all week, you know that?” He remarked, leaning against the back of the couch as he watched you pick up another picture frame. “Just me and you. Out here alone in the woods for an entire weekend.”

“Sounds like a scary movie when you put it that way,” you goaded with a wink. “Or a really niche porno.”

“Why not a bit of both?” His molasses coloured eyes glimmered mischievously as you walked up to him and stepped between his legs. The second you were close, he pulled you flush against his chest and kissed the tip of your nose as he pushed your hair back and away from your face. “Both could be fun.”

You grinned. “I’m down for anything,” you shrugged. “So long as you promise to take me on an actual date tomorrow. We’re not just fucking like bunnies inside of the cabin all weekend.”

“Heaven forbid,” he leaned in and gave you a slow, torturous kiss.

“I’m serious, Billy,” you moaned.

Pulling away from your mouth, Billy nudged his nose against yours and nodded. “The entire population in Bumfuck, California will know you’re my girl by the end of the weekend,” he avowed, skimming his hands down to your ass to give it a firm squeeze. “I promise.”

“Oh, yeah?” You hummed, kissing him again.

His calloused hands slipped beneath your shirt and scraped up your side. “Yeah.” Digging his hips into yours, he gave you one last kiss before nodding towards the bedroom. “Take your clothes off.”

You giggled as he slapped your ass to steer you down the narrow hallway. “And if I don’t?”

“I’ll rip them off of you,” he simply said, “so either they remain in one piece or I ruin your outfit.”

You glanced down at your jeans and tank before frowning. You looked cute tonight and you’d be damned if the bastard ripped them. So, being the good girl you were, you held his stare and slowly slinked out of your clothes. His eyes seemed so much darker as he watched you strip and the small smirk he wore slowly fell into a hungry thin line as you then perched yourself on the edge of the bed, completely nude.

“You just going to stand there looking pretty or are you going to do something about this?” You slipped your fingers between your thighs and ran your fingers along your swollen clit. A low moan slipped out of your lips at the sensation. “I’m already so wet for you, Billy.”

Slowly, Billy stepped towards you and undid his belt. Leaning down, he kissed you, hard, and steered you backwards on the bed beneath you until your head reached the soft pillows. You could feel his cock straining against his jeans but rather than grant himself any sort of reprieve, you watched him gently grasp your hands and raise them above your head only to wrap his belt around your wrists.

In the blink of an eye, you were tied to the bedposts.

“Is this payback for the car blowie?” You laughed, looking up at your restrained wrists. “If it is, I can’t say I’m mad about it.”

“You wanted something between a horror movie and a niche porno, remember?” He hummed against your skin, placing sloppy kisses along the vein that ran along your neck as he pinched your nipple. “God, you’re fucking perfect. You know that?”

He bit down on your collarbone, kissing his way down your chest until his warm mouth wrapped around your nipple. You could feel his teeth slither along your breast as his tongue lapped expertly on the sensitive bud. You hissed, arching into his mouth as your wrists, on instinct, fought for freedom. “Hardly.”

His eyes met yours as he slowly released your nipple. You were in nothing, of course, but he was still fully clothed, and you hated him for it. You hungrily eyed the bulge in his jeans as he propped himself up on his arm, letting his other hand glide up your chest and neck until it cupped your cheek. His nose brushed against yours, nudging it up to allow his lips to hover just over yours. Close enough that you could almost taste them, but much too far away to satisfy the hunger you had for the man.

“I love you,” he whispered, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek as his warm, brown eyes swallowed you up. “You know that, right?”

“Yes,” you swallowed hard and tilted your head up just enough to finally catch his lips. But, just as quickly as it happened, the man pulled away and let his hand begin to roam down your body. His mouth was at your ear now, nibbling at your earlobe as his hot breath slithered against your neck. You shivered. “I love you, too.”

His voice was gruff in your ear. “I’d kill for you,” his hand continued its journey down your throat, brushing past your nipple, down the length of your stomach until reaching the small smattering of hair along your mound. He was careful to keep his hands from dipping any lower, tormenting you as best to his ability, which just about killed you, if you were being honest. “You know that?”

Bucking your hips up, you nearly growled at the lack of attention you were receiving. You were soaked and touch-starved for him. His fingers, his mouth, the erection currently poking into your thigh, anything. “I wouldn’t ask you to do that,” you managed a quiet laugh. “But I appreciate it.”

His teeth bit down on your neck again. “But, I would. I’d do anything for you, sweetheart.”

His hand slipped further down to your sopping cunt and as he slowly slipped his fingers through your wet folds, the moan he got in return nearly killed him. “Billy,” you whispered desperately. It felt as though you were going to die if you didn’t feel him inside of you. “Please.”

His lips hovered over yours and on instinct, you caught his bottom lip between your teeth and bucked your hips against his hand. He snarled as you bit down on his lip but as the metallic taste of blood met his tongue, it was as though Billy was transcending. His pace on your clit quickened but it was still too slow for you and he knew it. He was torturing you, killing you, and he was enjoying every second of it. Struggling against the belt, your struggle was all for naught as it didn’t so much as move an inch.

“You’d love me, no matter what, right?” He asked, slipping one of his fingers inside of you as he kissed his way down to your chest. Lapping at your nipple, Billy was gentle at first before biting down hard enough to draw blood. Tit for Tat.

“Yes,” you moaned. Your entire body was on fire as his fingers brought you closer to the edge. “But I’d love you even more if you fucked me. You’re killing me, Loomis.”

Licking up the small trail of blood off of your tits, Billy hummed against your nipple and added another finger inside of your pussy. He’d fuck you soon but right now, he needed to feel your entire body light up the way it always had when he drove you into that fit of madness. You were a woman unhinged in the bedroom, he knew as much, and he knew exactly how to get that animal inside of you out.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he admired, reaching his hand up to coat your tit in your own slick. When it was sufficiently wet, he licked your juices off of your breast and growled. God, you tasted so fucking good. “You’re my girl, Y/N, you’re always going to be my girl, right?”

You looked up at him as those words fell from his lips. His brown hair hung down his forehead, his neck red from the strain of having to watch you writhe beneath him without doing a damned thing about it. But what struck you was the look of vulnerability in those brown eyes. That longing, far-away look as his eyes searched yours.

He wanted nothing more than to hear you say that you wanted him. Needed him. Just as much as he needed you.

“Always,” the answer tumbled out of your lips before you so much as thought twice. “I’m your girl, Billy.”

His mouth caught yours in a bruising kiss. Finally, his pace quickened inside of you as met your throbbing core with his dept fingers. With his thumb circling your clit, he dipped two fingers inside of you and grinned against your mouth as you let out a low, desperate moan.

It happened so fast after that. One moment, you were the one tied up on the bed and the next, he’d released you, stripped himself naked, and managed to flip you over so that you were the one on top of him, straddling his waist. Pulling away from you mouth, Billy’s eyes darkened as he saw that familiar glimmer in your eyes. That animalistic side of you was out in full force now.

“Get up here.” He demanded.

You smirked and leaned across him so that your lips hovered over his. “Why would I want to do that?”

He leaned up, the veins in his neck swelled against his neck as he caught your bottom lip between his teeth. “Get. Up. Here.”

Releasing your lip, Billy watched you smirk and crawl up the remainder of his body until your pussy was less than an inch away from his mouth. Grabbing onto the metal of the headboard you’d just been tied up to, you gasped as Billy’s tongue slid into your folds. Finding your clit instantly, you moaned and allowed your eyes to fall shut as you reached down to play with your hardened nipples.

Fuck, what Billy could do with his mouth should have been illegal.

He sucked and lapped at your clit as you rocked back and forth against his mouth. His fingers dug into your hips, so much so that you knew there would be bruises in the morning but, blinded by the pleasure between your thighs, you couldn’t care less.

The moans that were coming out of you were raw and guttural and, as you played with your own tits, envisioning his hands being the ones to squeeze and nip on the swollen buds of your nipples, you saw stars.

“Fuck,” you moaned out, “Billy, baby, fuck.”

He pulled your hips further down so that you were sitting on his face. Not just hovering but sitting on that perfect mouth of his as he held you in place. You knew it must have been hard for him to breathe but he was adamant and as his tongue continued its assault on your throbbing cunt, you came devastatingly hard and incredibly loud.

Stars danced behind your eyes as you continued to ride out your orgasm. When you couldn’t take another second of Billy’s skilled tongue, you climbed off of him only to feel his large hands take hold of your hips again.

Swinging you around so that you were on your back and he was the one hovering over you, Billy wasted no time in slipping his rock-hard erection into your soaking pussy.

He was thrusting hard and the sounds of your juices squelching with every thrust of his cock would have been off-putting if it hadn’t been for the raw, primal need coursing off of the pair of you in waves. He was kissing your lips and biting them and suckling your neck as he continued to rail into you with all of passion in the world. You weren’t sure you’d ever seen him this riled up and you had to admit it was inherently sexy seeing him so affected by you.

Not surprising in the least, it didn’t take him long to come. You’d riled him up to the point of no return in the car and, as you felt him come inside of you, you all but laughed when he dramatically crashed on the bed beside you.

Sweat glistened over every inch of body and the sheen of your juices was still on his lips as he kissed you. This kiss was slow, methodical. Sweet. And you felt yourself fall even harder for the man as he broke the kiss and gently brushed your hair away from your now damp forehead.

Wrapping one arm around your chest, Billy held you against him as he propped himself against the headboard. You were both naked and sweating and while a shower was something you both definitely needed, neither of you found yourselves all too willing to move out of the other’s embrace.

“Is it hard being back here?” You asked, listening to his heart beating in his chest.

“For a second, maybe,” he admitted, soothing your hair down. “Not now.”

“What’s changed?” You asked with a small smile. “The sex was that good, huh?”

A quiet chuckle shook his chest as he kissed the top of your head. “I think horror meets niche porn is my new favourite genre.”

Kissing his naked chest, you grinned into his body. “Same.”

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sheabuttahwrites · 4 years ago

Text

[I Know]

. four : reunited, and it feels so...

three

Monday

It was about twenty minutes after eight and Cam had just left. Though, I’d been up for a while since I had to make breakfast for him. I didn’t mind, because I was too anxious to sleep anyway. I was finally about to get out of this depressing ass house for a bit. And O was never boring, so I knew it was about to be a good time. Plus I was so ready to see him. I don't know why, but this particular stretch had felt much longer than all the others. I was on the way to go pack my bag when I decided to mess with him a little instead. I grabbed my phone ready to compose a text, but I already had a notification from him.

Get up. I’m in route, on my way to you

It had only been there for one minute. I guess we both had the same idea to play this morning.

I’m up. Been up

You ready?

Yes big head I’m ready

Ok short legs I was just making sure

I hollered. He was just average height himself, and only about six inches taller than me. Calling somebody short.

Lmao why you gotta take it there? I’ll be in your vicinity today, don't get beat up

I’m not worried

You should be

Why? Ain't nobody scared of you Jay Baby

Say it to my face

You think I won't

Ok keep that same energy when you see me

Oh fa sho, you do the same

Don't worry about me, you know I’m a G

Keep talking with your bad ass

You ain’t gon do nothing

Me and my big head can stay home

I’m not worried lmao you know you wanna see me

You ain't funny

And you ain't gotta lie, you chuckled

Lol anyway I’m leaving now, I’ll be over there in a minute

I know

Lmao whatever

I laughed aloud sending him three crying laughing emoji, then slid my phone down into my bra. Finally, I went over to the closet to fill my duffle. I threw a few casual pieces in first, because comfort over everything, and then I added about three or four that could possibly be worn out. I grabbed some sneakers, a couple pairs of heels, a little jewelry, underwear, pajamas, and I packed a separate smaller bag with all of my toiletries. I had taken a shower earlier so I was ready. For about a second, I debated on whether I should change, then decided against it. I knew we would be going right to sleep once we got to his place, so my loungewear would do.

While I waited for him, I walked over to the mirror, happy that my home remedies had helped my bruises and swelling disappear so quickly. It had only been about two and a half days, but a few aspirin and some intense ice pack usage had really worked. My rug burns were scabbed, but I wasn't too worried about those since the majority would be under my clothes. However, there was still a tiny something at the corner of my mouth, so I covered it with a bit of concealer and finished it with some setting powder. And I was sure to toss the two of them into my makeup bag for later use.

A little after nine, much to my delight, the doorbell rang. I squealed, giddy as ever, as I jumped up to walk to the door. And, when I opened it, before me stood my bestest friend in the whole world with the goofiest smile on his face. I laughed and invited him in, so excited that I was hardly able to get the door closed behind him. Then I kissed his cheek and pulled him into the tightest hug. It felt so good to be in his arms again. “Hey.” I spoke into his chest and his deep, honeyed timbre fluttered against my ears.

“Hey.”

I closed my eyes and just held on to him, feeling completely carefree, taking in a moment that didn't get to happen as much as I’d like. I didn't want to let go. Until he took his face down to nuzzle my neck. I flinched and giggled, backing away from him and shielding myself with my shoulder. He knew better. “Don't…”

“Now what's all that shit you was talking?” he asked jokingly, looking down into my face and laughing.

I tossed my head back, cackling, before I went to smack his arm. “Shut up.”

“Look out. You ready?”

“Yeah, just let me get my stuff.” I left his embrace and started for the living room where I had been waiting.

“Hurry up, get me out this nigga shit.”

I screamed. I knew he hated coming here. But this was his own fault. Because he also didn’t like texting to tell me he was outside, because to him it wasn't courteous. For the same reason, he didn’t like me taking Ubers to or from his place. I personally didn't have a problem with either. Both had been done maybe twice in the beginning and he told me he felt weird about it. I only half understood, but I didn't fight him on it. Honestly, it felt nice to actually be valued for a change. “Simmer down, sir. I’m coming.”

“You know you naked?”

I paid him no mind and kept moving toward my bags, still tickled by his earlier demand. “Whatever. No, I’m not.” My boxers and tank were plenty clothes.

“Dude would probably have a fit if he knew you were leaving the house in that.”

Slightly appalled, I stopped mid stroll and turned back to him. “Excuse you? He would also have a fit if he knew you were picking his girl up. But that hasn’t been an issue for you for how long now?”

“Good point. Carry on.” The way he waved me off almost had me in tears. My rebuttal had shut him up too quick.

“I thought so.”

“Not even a jacket, though? It’s kinda cool out there.”

“I’ll be ok. I’m just running to the car then right into the house after that.”

“If you say so. But what happened to your knee?”

“Oh, nothing. I scraped it on the carpet. It was an accident,” I hastily explained just under a shout, disappearing around the corner. I hoped I wouldn't have to go into more detail. Omari definitely wasn't shy about asking questions when he wanted to know something.

“Oh. Damn.”

I returned in no time with my duffle bag in hand and my purse on my arm. He took the bag, being his usual gentlemanly self, and I grabbed my keys to lock up the house. Once we were on the porch, I made sure to engage the alarm from my phone. Then he and I hopped into his white Range that I loved so much, and we were out.

“You hungry?” he asked, yawning.

I yawned instantly, seeing him do it first. “Nah, I'm good. I just wanna go back to sleep.”

“Word. Me, too.”

After Cam was done packing last night, he woke me up for round three. Or maybe it was four. I don’t know. But it wasn’t uncommon for him to try and fuck me senseless before he left for work. I guess he thought overuse of his penis was what it took for me to still be there whenever he returned. Whatever the case, I was tired as hell and in need of some serious rest.

2:04pm

I opened my eyes, slowly becoming aware that Jade and I were face to face. I lingered for a second, letting my vision clear up, enjoying the view more than anything, though. She was stunning. Just so beautiful. Her features had to have been sculpted by the most masterful hands, using only the finest of materials. The lines were sharp, but they had a softness to them. Her skin was golden like warmed maple on a glorious Sunday morning. When they were available, her round, dark brown eyes were gentle, yet so alluring. The way they sparkled in the sun always got me. To top it all off, her sultry pout sat perfectly beneath a nose that fit just right. She was flawless.

While I stood stretching, yawning, alternating between bending and rubbing the arm she had been lying on, I could see a sense of calm in her expression. She always looked that way when we were together. Like she was happy. And I knew that wasn't the case at home. I tried not to think about it too often, but honestly it really bothered me. She hit me up pretty regularly, revealing how he talked to her, the many ways he mistreated her. But it was probably a lot worse than she was willing to admit. My instincts told me that he was putting his hands on her. She had never confirmed my suspicions, but I knew it was the truth. I knew. And the thought of that shit alone killed me. She was so sweet. So soft spoken and mild mannered. She didn't have a cruel bone in her body. I just couldn’t imagine her actually having the need to protect herself not only from harmful, ugly words but some nigga’s hand. It fucked me up. She was easily my favorite person. I hadn’t witnessed a more pure soul. And to be aware that she was suffering, especially through something so horrible and damaging, was beginning to be too much. I couldn't do shit about it. I couldn't fix it, I couldn't change it. All I could do was be there for her, give her a place to decompress from time to time. Which I loved. I wanted to help her in any way I could, but I was starting to feel like I was in over my head. Truthfully, I didn’t know how much longer I was gonna be able to do this. It was becoming very difficult for me to live with myself. My conscience was tearing my ass up. The most trifling woman didn’t deserve what she was being subjected to every day, and she wasn’t even guilty of anything. Her only fault was loving a nigga who meant her absolutely no good.

I didn't fully understand that either. Of course I knew love could make you do things you maybe wouldn't normally do, but in this case, what was there to love? How could she look at a nigga who was constantly causing her pain and feel anything other than hate? I just didn't get it. She had to know that whatever she was experiencing wasn't love. He was abusing her. How could she still love him? Why would she take his wrath and still allow him to receive all of her goodness? She had to know he didn't deserve it. She had to know that she deserved so much better. From any man. From life. From any situation she found herself in. She had to know that something wasn't right.

But she held fast to her claims. From the start she made it known that she was in a relationship and that she was in love. I respected her honesty, but her words and her actions never matched up. Her mood on the way to my place and the one on the way back to hers were always on two completely opposite ends of the scale. I don't know if she couldn't conceal it or if she just didn't care to, but it was painfully evident where she was excited to be and where she dreaded. She just didn't move like the taken woman she alleged to be. Not by her ‘man’ at least.

I walked into the bathroom and made my way to the toilet. Then I went to the sink to wash up. I was leaning over brushing my teeth when I felt her arms wrap around me.

I kissed his back, resting my head right against his bare skin after. “Hey.”

“What’s up?”

I caught his reflection in the mirror and, before I could stop them, my lips had curled into an enormous grin. I was so ridiculously glad to finally be in the same place as him. Plus he was so cute. He had toothpaste all over his mouth, but it took nothing away from his appearance. I couldn't help but notice how good we looked standing there together. A better best friend duo didn't exist.

“I’ma start thinking you happy to see me in a minute,” he teased, finishing up at the sink.

I busted out laughing. How dare he just blow up my spot like that? I let my arms fall from his waist. He turned to face me and I swatted his chest, backing away to leave the room. “Get off. Don't act like you didn't miss me.”

He followed me out, going toward his closet. “I already told you that. You know I’m always glad to be in your presence.”

“Um hmm.” I bashfully rolled my eyes, blushing against my own will. Thankfully he was trailing me. He went into the closet and I leaned up against the doorway. “So I thought about it, let’s stay in today.”

“Ok.” He took a t-shirt from one of the drawers and pulled it over his head. “That’s cool.”

“We can go do something tomorrow.”

“Well, I got a couple meetings,” he casually announced, walking over to the other side of the room headed for the couch.

“Awww.” I wasn’t expecting him to have to work so soon. “What time?”

“The first one is at nine in the morning, but neither of them should take too long. Nobody’s recording and I’m not mixing anything. So it should only be a few hours.”

I stood as he sat, my demeanor in a totally different arena than before. My arms were loosely folded across my chest and a slight scowl had inevitably taken over my expression. “Ok.”

“Jay,” he chuckled, picking up the remote, “don't act like that.”

“I know what you call a few hours. I probably gotta be here all day without you.”

“It won't be all day,” he claimed, giving the TV all of his attention as he flipped through the channels. “I should be back by around three at the latest. Maybe four.”

I smacked my lips, annoyed that he was alluding to seven hours being minuscule. That was most certainly the entire day. “That’s long.”

“Pooh, you know work doesn't stop. I’m always working.”

“I know, but I just got here.”

He sighed heavily, looking up at me with remorseful eyes and a frown to match. “Why you tryna make me feel bad?”

“I’m not. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself,” I spoke lightly, but the defeat was heavy in my voice. I dropped my head and gave him my eyes, making sure to slouch my shoulders and pout as deeply as I could manage. I didn't even hold it long before we were both cracking up.

“Don't even try it. Fake self.”

“Whaaaat?”

“You just about to be sleep the whole time anyway.”

I doubled over and slapped my knee, because he definitely wasn’t lying. “Whatever.” But I was not about to admit it. Instead, I went to my bag and grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste. “Be right back.”

#original fiction #original characters #black characters #black fiction #black fic #black writer #drama #romance #love story #i know #SheaButtahWrites

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berri-hopefulspouse · 4 years ago

Text

Okokokay, I’m awake, lemme explain this particular post because uh. It was like 2 AM when I posted it and I was hardly awake to explain it properly. I might write about the event itself in the future, but I have a LOT of projects going on rn so I need to uh. NOT SUBJECT MYSELF TO TEMPTATION. Lmao. ANYWAY. If you want the full explanation behind this post- it’ll be under the RM for the sake of not angering all of my followers :’)

TW: Internalized Manipulation, Internalized High-Expectative behavior, Suicide, also for uh. A generally Long ass fucking post.

Basically...Ren has a secret. One they had completely forgotten about until their memory was retrieved post TTH- or rather...a few weeks following the memory retrieval. One secret that...as far as they know- they’re taking with them to their own fucking grave, rather than tell anyone what happened.

Sure, they had a crush on Makoto. Sure, they were always too afraid to tell him how they felt- both out of fear of rejection, but for another...much more guilty reason.

See, when they ran away from home- ran away from their family...it was because they were controlling, yet neglectful. The family they “loved” never really gave them the emotional support they needed at a time when they were suffering- and in some people’s cases, only added onto it. They ran away because they were tired of being bound by their family’s stubborn expectations, and were tired of feeling like they weren’t good enough to do what everyone else was doing.

The problem was... They never truly resolved that trauma by running away. They had NO idea at the time how to do what they needed to give themselves that emotional support that they needed desperately growing up. Which of course, resulted in them taking that same sort’ve controlling, high-expectative behavior...and turning it on themselves.

Joining as many clubs as they wanted, studying late at night, getting double shifts to pay the rent of their apartment...They did everything they could to stay on top. It was a habit they didn’t know they were doing to themselves- they just saw it as being hardworking to maintain the idea that they were doing alright on their own. And of course, she- Junko- was no help to this. Manipulating them to work even harder- and that if they fall from the throne they were building for themselves, that they’ll be left alone. After all- for the first time in years, as a result...they were relatively popular. But not because of economical status, or because of beauty- or anything relatively of the sort. Because of their intelect. Their talents. Their ultimate...they were appreciated for something they could DO for others. And it was that, that gave them what they thought was the emotional support they craved since growing up- and they would be damned to let go of that now.

Ontop of this, they never really told anyone about being transmasc. They never told anyone they were AFAB. Everyone just assumed they were AMAB and nonbinary- which they agreed was fine with them.

They were elected student council president, due to their uncanny ultimate to figure out that something was wrong with their class- and have the compassion to sit down and talk with others about it. When a student was struggling in a class, they’d either personally tutor the student or have someone they know who excels in that class tutor them. They were advocating for the luck students classes to be more personalized and catered to their talent, much like how all the other students had their classes personalized and catered to theirs. They did everything in their power to make a difference, to make an impression that they knew would never leave the class- unknowing that them just...being themselves, would’ve been more than enough.

However...it was all too much for them. It was draining, it was exhausting, it was driving them crazy. They hardly got any sleep, they hardly had time to take care of themselves due to their various after-school activities and jobs they maintained. It was at this point they realized something was horribly, horribly wrong with the way they were living, but...that seed of internal expectations had burrowed itself too deep. Basically threatening themselves that if they couldn’t manage this- what they perceived to be a “normal” school life, albeit with some disadvantages- then they were just...weak. They HAD to keep themselves busy, because that’s how they make a difference in this world!

For being an empath...they’re terrible at taking care of themselves.

Despite themselves, they felt that sinking emptiness that they felt back home starting to return to their heart. So what do they do? Pour themselves further into their classes, their work, their social life- what little of it they maintained after class- their clubs, their student-council presidency.

Even then, that wasn’t enough. They tried on their life. They broke under that pressure, and they have the scars to prove that. It was the first time anyone in their class knew that something much deeper resided within their class president.

...Yet, at the time, Makoto was the only one who yelled at them for it- both out of his own naivety and his own sense of guilt.

Skip to a few months in the future- a good 2 weeks before Junko’s perceived plan would go into full effect, and a few days before the supposed fuzzy memory they’ve had in the past came into fruition.

Makoto and Ren had been getting closer, yes. Ren wanting to learn and, as a result, be better to themselves- so they could in turn be better for their class. Makoto just wanting to help, seeing as he looked up to them.

Still, they didn’t hang out that often- both due to their own class schedules being all over the place, and Ren never having much time out of school. Sure, Kyoko would be helping pay their rent- which let them have the option to quit one of their jobs...but they still had to afford food each month, so they still kept one job- both for the experience and because they felt they had to. They didn’t want to ask the school for more help than they “needed” to.

So, when Makoto was hosting a small sleepover with several of the boys from his class- including them- they were a bit excited. Due to their business, they never really had the time to really...hang out with other people. Develop an actual social life. They never had the chance to hang out with friends outside of class, and never had the chance to do normal teen things- like sleepovers and school drama and shit.

Naturally, of course they went.

They had...such a fun time that night. Goofing off with the boys- even some of the more reclusive and uptight boys would eventually loosen up around Makoto. Of course- it wasn’t like usual more “Feminine” sleepovers- the boys would mostly be playing a lot of video games, eat snacks, what-have you. Makoto would try to get them to watch anime, only to be teased for it. Ren had to break up that little spat before it got out of hand- wanting just as much to protect Makoto.

Soon enough, everyone was falling asleep. Most of the others didn’t want to sleep in Makoto’s room themselves- saying that was too “gay” for them-- Only to get ribbed at by Ren as a result, despite what they tell themselves about being a straight enby (a contradictory statement in and of itself). So, Ren, wanting to prove a point to them, decided they’d stay with Makoto. Unaware of how flustered they were at the thought, Makoto headed back to his room with them in tow- ignoring how the boys were calling out various...unsavory one-liners. (Much to his dismay, seeing as Makoto would eventually have to drag Ren by the arm- lest they start an actual fight in his house, his parent’s would fucking END him, Ren stop it--)

At the very least, it was calmer. The two sat, talked for hours, goofing off and watching anime until close to 1 AM. By then, they’re still watching anime through his laptop- Makoto braiding their hair out of their eyes so its easier for them to see.

This entire night, they’ve just been feeling so...so flustered around him. So flustered, so confused. They just want to do something about the feeling, they want to understand what it is they’re feeling...this feeling that they’ve felt since they first met him- and has only intensified over time...has intensified over the course of the night.

So, they do something impulsive. They do something they didn’t think they KNEW they were doing until they did so. They kiss him- genuinely and caringly. Its then they did realize how they felt- someone not so straight, not so ‘perfect’...and for that brief moment it was okay. For that brief moment, being perceived as who they actually are...was okay.

And then that moment was broken, hearing a knock on their window- one of the boys had gone to investigate what was going on, and was peering through the window.

And that sudden panic, that fear of losing what they have- of losing the respect of their class...it held its grip on their heart. They start freaking out, mumbling to themselves about how they were going to be made fun of. Makoto tries to calm them down, tell them its okay- that it’s fine- trying to insinuate that he kinda felt the same way.

But, they leave. They flee with one last final word to him;

“...You don’t even know.”

A message to themselves- about what they know about love- and to him...that he doesn’t know what would happen if they loose that social status.

...The following day, they pour their heart out to Junko. They explain everything that happened- and they’re told of the device that can wipe memories. That can, essentially, erase the past. Of course they’re reluctant- their good morals and goody-two-shoes nature makes them hesitant. But, when she reminds them of what would happen once rumors starts to spread... They agree its for the best. That no one else should remember what happened that night. But to ONLY erase that night.

...Little did they know, that a few weeks down the line, there would be so, so much more erased than a single night.

So, by Monday, everyone has seemingly forgotten the whole event. They swore to themselves that day to never tell anyone- especially him- about what happened...both because of the event itself...but because of if he found out what they did following it- they didn’t know if he’d ever forgive them.

Losing their social status...losing that emotional support from their class...at the time; nothing else was worth it. Nothing else; even love.

After all, they’re expected to be little mx. perfect.

When their memories are finally retrieved... Or rather- the weeks following it, as an after-effect- they remember the whole event. That guilt they carried with them about what Junko did to them only multiplies when they remember their other massive, massive mistake. Sure, things turned out well in the end- they’re with Makoto, everything is getting better... He’s shown that even through their past- he’d be there for them...but even so, they can’t tell him.

It’s a secret they’re taking with them to their grave. And with any hope, that’s exactly how they hope it’ll stay.

...And they forget, that just as well for everyone else, the procedure had brought back all their school memories, as well.

Makoto won’t...say anything on the matter- knowing how their anxious self might react. If they want to tell him, they will. But if not...it’s a secret for their past self to keep, forever.

...It definitely does explain some of their behaviors though, now that he does think about it.

#[ Ren Rambles ]#[ Emotionally Hopeful ]#I spent the last hour I've been awake writing this sdjkfhskd #I might write this into an actual fully-developed story later. But have this explanation for now.#For now; have a lot of angst :'D #They had a decent school life at Hopes Peak I swear #Just. A lot of Junko meddling. ~^~;#long post//#suicide tw//#suicide ment//#manipulation tw//#high expectations tw//#The TLDR of this is; Their own goddamn extremely high expectations for themselves was their downfall. It slowly deteriorated their life #And slowly crumbled the perceived version of themselves.

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get-the-treasure · 7 years ago

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school log #1

9-5-17

Happy last ‘first day of high school’ I’m finally a senior let’s fuck shit up.

Assembly: i came in and first went to hug taylor cause jahsbfjfaks i havent seen her all summer nd did i tear up? yeah kind of lmao i missed taylor sm what a gem. then i went by like. the squad (for memory reasons: ???? ppl on the side, jade, bean, yadi, eren, rye showed up, dalon showed up, sammy showed up, ashley showed up, might be missing someone?). eren gave me a bitching smoothie (bless ty) nd i think we all just talked like we normally would. its nice to just slip into normal conversation with people wou havent seen in what feels like forever.

Hour 3 (Homegroup): sat in hg for like 2 hours. we got some new freshman of whom i only can name 3 because i missed the others names. nd i also only kno one of the sophomores by name cause i forgot the others. maybe we should talk w maya sometime? ive seen her around a few times and she looks like shes mostly alone? we got our lockers too. sike some middle schoolers took our lockers and now we have to wait until tomorrow to figure out if we can get them b a c k. then i knocked over the smoothie eren gave me nd like a little came out but not much so um thanks god. we filled out this helping sheet thing that were going to be checked on every monday soooo better keep up on work i guess. also there was a lot of talk of grilled cheese up the ass???

Hour 1 (AP Bio): i turned in my poster board and we just went over the same rubric we went over when i signed up for the class smh. doesnt seem like itll be hard tho? sammy might have to drop it if she doesnt do her entire thing over and turn it in tomorrow and even then he might say no. so heres to hoping. also sabastion sat by our table nd honestly w h y do we have to have mutual friends i hate my life.

Hour 2 (ROPE): went over like oNLY the autobiography part of the rope packet tbh. also amy said we should know who our thesis paper advisors are but 1. i didnt even know what the thesis paper was and 2. the day ended and i still have no idea who my thesis advisor is weLL GUESS ILL SUFFER. im worried i wont have a good autobiography and that i wont be able to keep up with rope, but if i just dont goof around (lol) then it shouldnt be a w f u l. i notice a big student mood is being like ‘i want to die’ when school starts but christ its not rlly that bad? u get a normal ish sleep schedule, its easier to hang out w friends imo, and the work isnt even that hard you just have to pay attention and do it. it kind of bugs me honestly when school breathes and someones like THIS IS THE WORST THING ON EARTH FUCK SCHOOL FUCK ALL THE WORK THIS SUCKS cause its literally not that bad if you just idk. dont goof off all the time. sometimes u can goof off im sure everyone does sometimes. just. do ur work nd dont get so uppity about it. also idk if nyone will even read these but this isnt directed at anyone.

Hour 4 (English 12): our class is huge lmao. sammy and i got seats by jimmy, josselin, and ariel but i think eren wants us to get to class earlier tomorrow so we can sit together w yadi at the back of the room. but we get out of hg when peter lets us out soooo we cant rlly control when he lets us out.

Lunch: there was a lil spider where i sit so i kind of shooed him away so i could sit and i ended up cramping a lot. the worst part abt school imo is the chairs are just as hard as the floor and i have awful pelvis issues so my entire lower half starts to freeze and lock up and it hurts rlly bad getting up or shifting after sitting still for a while, so i fidget a lot and shift positions a lot so i can try and reduce the pain. nyways i played music nd sidney nd alexis sat down by us and theyre really quiet (whenever i would see them in the halls on the way to class and they had a free hour or it was lunch nd id see them they were always quiet then too) and sidney left her chapstick and i hope she remembered to grab it (i told her at the assembly at the end of the day because i forgot to grab it to give back to her). i cant rlly remember what else happened honestly??? thats of noting at least.

Hour 5 (Free): eren and i are probably going to sit in michelles room for this hour since she has chairs and 3 hours in a row on the floor is going to bust my ass so bad. eren started doing work but we ended up just talking and eating and listening to a vine comp.

Hour 6 (Free): sammy came down and we did basically the same as the previous hour but more talking and laughing. i cant remember what we talked about tho?? or nything else?? (edit: we tlaked about fucking and spanx)

Hour 7 (Government): eren sammy nd i had put our stuff down in michelles room early to save our spots (but i bet ill be the only one still at the table tomorrow because they have to go to the front) and then eren nd i left to go to the bathroom then fill sammys water bottle and by the time we came back in michelle was like ‘please arrive on time’ like 1 we were in here first nd 2 the bathroom was packed nd were supposed to go between classes i couldnt piss any faster thanks tho. we got the syllabus and an intro to the class/classroom and thank god jared isnt in this class fuckkkk. also we have to do debates like in front of the class?? no t h a nk you i hate it

Hour 8 (Advanced Drawing/Painting): we just sat around ny amy was like ‘heres what well do’ but ariel sammy nd i basically talked the entire time we all know how art works.

Assembly: a final assembly to wrap everything up with all grades together (since middle nd high had separate assemblies this morning) and i dont kno if we got any important information i think it was just things only 6th graders nd new students need to know cause we hear the same spiel every year. then i guess we all left???

After School: my dad picked me up and hell be picking us up every day from now on (unless like smthn comes up u kno its whatever). he didnt say anything on the ride home unlike when he and mom would both pick us up and theyd both ask a lot of questions. i thought he was angry and i ended up being right. he and my mom got into a bad argument she told me later on and now shes changing the locks so he doesnt have a key. its kind of upsetting how she said i should be civil with like whoever my parents may end up dating nd the entire family and whatnot but she (vise versa) cant even be civil with him or the rest of our family so??? nice example you set for your kids, parents. anyways my dad is also apparently switching up stuff he says like what hell pay and what theyll keep asset wise and how theyd cooperate for our sake and now hes changing what he said during court and all this mess and i feel like hes doing it to spite my mom but hes also spiting us in the process because we rely on our mom. ughhhhh this is stupid difficult to deal w id rather just not have to hear this stuff but moms always on the phone talking about anything and everything and were forced to hear. nyways lol

#im going to put info here for future reference #day 1 #tardy: 0 #absent: 0 #late: 0 #im not counting kims class because i wasnt actually late k thanks

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