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halfseoulco · 2 years ago

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The university analogy: Finding what makes KPOP groups unique

Updated Sunday, December 8th, 2024 — In a 2018 interview with NME, BTS’s SUGA called KPOP “integrated content”, adding that it “includes not just the music, but the clothes, the makeup, the choreography…all these elements I think sort of amalgamate together in a visual and auditory content package, that I think sets it apart from other music or maybe other genres so again, as I said, rather than approach KPOP as its own genre I think approaching it as this integration of different content would be better.“ Additionally, KPOP is known for taking inspiration and elements from other genres and creating interesting sounds, making it impossible to define KPOP as a genre of any one style or sound. With KPOP continuing to grow in popularity across the globe, Korean entertainment companies are popping up left and right with the goal of creating and debuting successful groups—all of whom are fighting for attention in a market that is now grossly over-saturated and therefore extremely competitive. When everyone is working hard and training for years to show audiences the best performances, what does it take to make it in the world of KPOP where fans are as critical as they are devoted?

The University Analogy

Sometimes terms are born at the most random of times. In this case, I was trying to explain the nature of the KPOP industry to a friend who doesn’t listen to KPOP and ended up with what I now call the university analogy.

When I was applying for colleges in 2011 as a high school junior, I was warned by everyone from my mother to my guidance counselor that having good grades and a good SAT score would simply not be enough. Gone were the days where a 4.0 GPA and a steady record of committed extracurricular activities over long periods of time would easily get you into a four-year university of notable prestige. There were kids everywhere with GPAs above a 4.0 thanks to the weighted system where an A in a more difficult course would earn you an extra point; and with college prep having evolved into a thriving, capitalist-driven industry, more and more students were walking out of the SATs with perfect scores. Many students with these kinds of academic records look absolutely amazing on paper—but it’s become so much the norm that admissions boards don’t find it as impressive as they once did. If everyone has a 5.0 GPA and a 2400 SAT score*, then it stops being such a huge achievement. The pressure to stand out then becomes nearly impossible to bear when the expectations are to get As in every subject, get the highest scores on standardized tests, be involved in activities outside of the classroom (preferably with a leadership position of some sort to show that you have certain qualities that most people find admirable and over the course of your high school career if not longer to indicate that you can strongly commit to one or two things), and win awards and accolades for being the best or most at something—and maybe you find some time in there somewhere to sleep or socialize because on top of everything else, you also have to be interesting.

Because they have the luxury of being selective, institutions of higher education are now more interested in what a student has to offer aside from their ability to memorize and regurgitate information. What do they do outside of school? What are their passions? Who do they want to be in the future? What makes them special?

The KPOP industry is much the same.

Because KPOP fans are known for being extremely discerning and sometimes difficult to please, Korean entertainment companies are constantly developing the best creative teams and strategies to ensure their artists’ success. Everyone has to make their moves from the same starting point, however, and that is talent.

Whatever anyone might say about any given group or idol, it is true more often than not that an artist who has made it to their debut—especially one who has made it through the traditional KPOP system—has gotten that far because while they have worked hard, they are at the very least talented in some way. Where the discrepancy exists is in people seeing talent as only one specific thing when talent transcends strict definition and can manifest in many ways. Fans also often confuse personal taste as barometers for talent, with “I don’t like it” serving as an equivalent for “it’s bad” or “they’re untalented”. But if we go back to the university analogy where no one is special if everyone has perfect grades and test scores, similarly, if everyone is talented, then what sets one idol or one group apart from another? What does it take to produce a KPOP act so spectacular that shows are immediately sold out, album sales break records, and members are beloved worldwide?

The KPOP System

While the KPOP industry has received heavy criticism for the harsh conditions that trainees and idols are subjected to—extreme dieting being a major issue for many, as well as the long hours—it is also often said that the tried and true KPOP system has been largely successful in producing some of the biggest artists in the Korean music industry, as well as those who have managed to break into other markets such as the U.S. Of course, this is not to say that just because people can endure it, it means that they should have to. More and more idols are speaking up about their experiences as trainees, which had previously often been shared in a tone that downplays the severity of the incidents. The hope is that as awareness of the harsh conditions employed by Korean entertainment companies continues to grow, they will start to change and idols will enjoy their careers working within a healthier, less toxic environment. However, the debate that tends to distract everyone from the issue at hand is which companies are worse when the reality is that it is easier for the KPOP training system to continue existing when it doesn’t have the same kinds of protections in place that countries like the U.S. have, especially for minors working in entertainment. Most artists outside of Asia cannot fathom being expected to endure such conditions, let alone actually making it through to the end in order to debut. Therefore, the question has been whether or not the system could be successfully implemented on artists who fall outside of the KPOP umbrella.

Most companies have a rigorous training system in place where debut hopefuls endure 12-14-hour days for an average of approximately two to four years—although many idols have trained for much longer—practicing all aspects of performance (singing, dancing, rapping, acting), studying languages, and following strict rules. Trainees are plucked from all over the world through auditions or talent scouting and many go extended periods of time without seeing their families or friends once they are brought to the companies’ dorms or training centers. Female trainees in particular are subjected to extreme dieting, with their eating habits strictly monitored to the point where their male counterparts have admitted to sneaking them food. Some companies have crammed as many trainees into a single room as they possibly could, while others withhold breaks and water or force trainees to continue practicing while injured.

While fans and artists alike would love to see a world in which these conditions are no longer the reality, the idol training system has long been something that is unique to the Korean entertainment industry; and the growing global success of KPOP has companies reluctant to change their methods, even with the rest of the world watching.

Enter J.Y. Park and JYP Entertainment’s A2K (America to Korea) project, in which the goal was to find talented individuals in North America and put them through the KPOP training system to show that it can be applied successfully to non-KPOP trainees. In partnership with Republic Records, JYP Entertainment held auditions in several cities in the U.S. and Canada before narrowing down the contestants that would compete to create a girl group with global appeal. Despite the fact that VCHA is currently the source of major controversy, JYP plans to replicate the process with L2K (Latin America to Korea) through a strategic partnership with Universal Music Latin Entertainment under Universal Music Group. The company also filed a trademark for E2K in 2023, which most people agree likely stands for Europe to Korea, although there is currently little information as to when auditions will take place or if the project will ever come to fruition.

People were intrigued by the concept of A2K regardless of whether they believed it would be successful, with the YouTube channel from which the show was streamed surpassing 50 million views at the time of its conclusion. If we try to follow the timeline, filming for A2K began in September 2022, which is also when auditions were held. There is little information as to when the Los Angeles boot camp took place and for how long it ran, with guesses spanning from six days to two weeks in November of that same year. There are speculations that the contestants who made it through the L.A. boot camp then flew to South Korea in April 2023, where they trained for three months. The show is believed to have finished filming in early July, with the first episode airing on July 13th that year and the series finale aired on September 22nd. VCHA debuted in January 2024, making their total training period short compared to that of JYP’s other survival show groups and by industry standards. At the time, many people found it disrespectful to debut them so early when KPOP idols usually spend years training in preparation for debut. It should also be noted that the company’s intention was to create a global KPOP group. Even though all of VCHA’s releases are in English, the group promoted on the same Korean music shows as KPOP groups; and their styling, conceptually and musically, was more influenced by KPOP than not. Whether they realized that it wasn’t working or that California labor laws would make it difficult for them to achieve the results they wanted, J.Y. Park revealed at the 2024 MAMA Awards that the plans for VCHA were to take them in different direction—away from KPOP—since the members are all American (or Canadian, in Camila’s case) and should be able to be themselves.

In light of the story KG recently shared on her personal Instagram detailing how she has filed a lawsuit against JYP Entertainment for mistreatment and abuse, I want to be clear that the criticism being expressed is that JYP Entertainment rushed VCHA’s debut in order to get ahead of other companies who had plans to launch global groups—namely HYBE and KATSEYE. Based on KG’s statement, it can also be deduced that they were also not as hands-on with the group as they normally would be with their Korean artists, as VCHA was being managed by JYP USA, leading to the events KG described—some of which fans are speculating are responsible for Kaylee having gone on hiatus in March [2024] and the girls dropping out of Lollapalooza without any explanation aside from “unforeseen circumstances”. KG also alleged that they were under surveillance in the house they shared, where their eating habits and conversations were monitored; and that she has not been paid for any work she has done outside of what California labor laws permit, although she is expected to repay the company for her share of the costs of living in the $2.5 million-dollar house the girls live in. JYP USA released their own statement in response, stating that KG made “unilateral public statements containing false and exaggerated claims” and that they “have not received any response from KG’s representatives” following her departure from the group’s shared house in May [2024].

It is unfortunate that they became collateral damage in the race for global group domination, but in spite of all the criticism they received, this was never a question of VCHA’s talent. This is a question of whether their company believed in them enough to set them up for success by providing them with more training than what they received prior to their debut and whether they valued them as human beings; and the hope is that the girls can find happiness while still pursuing their dreams.

If talent is the bare minimum requirement to be selected as a KPOP trainee, then what role does the company play in moving trainees along the path to debut?

Many trainers, coaches, and teachers say the same thing: raw, natural talent is not enough. It can only take you so far, which is why discipline and hard work are most often lauded as some of the most important values for achieving success. Under the best circumstances, talents are nurtured so that they can be honed into skills; and people who know their skills inside and out often are remembered for mastering their craft in ways that only they can. Korean entertainment companies usually cover expenses for food, housing, clothing, and training; and trainees are often expected to pay the company back for those expenses, oftentimes regardless of whether they debut or not. Aside from ensuring that they will ultimately be rewarded for their investment, companies put their trainees through such a long and difficult preparation period because not only do they want to nurture the talent that they initially pinpointed during the audition or scouting processes, they also want to focus on the areas that trainees are not as strong in so that they meet their standards. A smart company knows that in order to get the best return on their investment, it is in their best interest to put out the best product. A person can be great at one thing and not at something else, but that something else will be worked on until they can at least be good at it. Returning to the university analogy, a main vocalist who can also be a lead dancer and even a sub-rapper or a center is similar to a student who naturally excels at language arts but also has As in math, science, and history because they studied hard. Most fans would agree that the best KPOP groups are the ones with members who have designated roles or fixed positions but could easily fill other positions if needed—or the groups who have no fixed positions because the members truly excel in all areas.

Of course, this is not necessarily the universal expectation. The quality of a group depends on many other factors, including the resources that the company can afford to provide idols with, such as additional training, and the company’s priorities. For example, SM Entertainment is widely believed to prioritize polished visuals and high-quality production, while YG Entertainment looks for individuals who have powerful stage presence and can fit their rap-heavy, hip hop image. However, talent is necessary to be chosen as a trainee at all. The KPOP system demands it. The competitive nature of the industry serves only to create space for conflict in which the fight to be on top is more a battle of who has that certain special something rather than who is the most objectively talented.

If this is to believed and the “certain special something” is what’s important, then what is it and where does it come from?

The Art of KPOP

One of KPOP’s greatest strengths which has allowed it to survive for so long is that there really is something for everyone.

Since KPOP cannot be strictly defined as any one genre or musical style and groups are usually changing concepts regularly based on the season, an upcoming release, or with their age, people wanting to get into KPOP can usually find a few groups that match their personal taste before branching out to discover new ones, if that’s what they’re interested in. Some people gravitate towards boy groups while others towards girl groups; and some Korean entertainment companies have bands on their rosters in addition to traditional KPOP groups and solo artists. Concepts can range from cute to sexy, and groups whose concepts tie into what fans call “lore” have more narrative-driven content that keeps their fans interested and invested.

But are fans really only interested in KPOP because of the variety of concepts? Not necessarily. A group that changes concepts too often can be seen as disingenuous and dishonest, making the idols seem less like real people with real personalities. If they can change concepts like changing clothes, then who are they really?

Across mediums, art is at its center people-oriented and derives its beauty from the ways in which it reflects the human experience. No matter how much some people may claim that it is possible to separate the art from the artist, the reality is that art often gets at least some of its meaning because of the person making it; and if someone enjoying the art can find something that they have in common with the artist, it makes them much more relatable and therefore humanizes them when they may have previously seemed inaccessible. Music in particular is powerful because it is at its core deeply personal. The songs that touch and move listeners are the ones that can connect with audiences through universal themes and shared experiences, which are part of being a human being and being alive. Some of the most respected artists are the ones who write their own lyrics or compose their own music—and therefore perceived as having more of a personal stake in their craft, which listeners take as a sign that the music is a genuine and honest expression of their thoughts and feelings. If we were to get a little existential and think about why art serves such a crucial function in society and in our lives, it’s because art makes us care—and people make us care. People and art are so intertwined that to care about art is to care about people—about humanity.

So what else do KPOP fans care about if not just the music itself?

When I was on my way to see TOMORROW X TOGETHER in L.A. at the end of May [2023], I spent the trip there talking with my Uber driver—a middle-aged Korean man who loves IVE and has some interesting connections. We talked about many different things, but since we shared a love for KPOP, the conversation eventually steered in that direction.

(I want to preface this next section by saying that while I have historically been very vocal about non-Asian—and to an extent, non-Korean—idols in KPOP, I don’t disagree with the basis for what I’m about to say. My opinions on that specific topic are centered around the sense of entitlement that people have about being allowed access to certain spaces, the potential erasure of Korean culture, and the fact that Korean society still rejects multi-ethnic or biracial Koreans, which you can read more about here.)

After dropping a nugget about how—allegedly—the Source Mall in Buena Park, California was intended to be a place where Korean entertainment companies could scout for talent**, he went on to talk about how these companies look for prospective trainees. If KPOP agencies were only looking for good-looking people who can sing and dance, they could find them in Korea. They scout in America and other countries because people are, of course, incredibly varied from place to place. They’re influenced by many different things, including the dominant culture of where they live, the music that they listen to, the ways in which they have been affected by either having been born there or having moved there, and much more; and have different perspectives and beliefs—which can in turn affect how they approach and create music—and this is particularly true for those who are a part of the Korean diaspora. As just one example, BM of KARD is originally from Los Angeles, California and grew up speaking Spanish and Portuguese since his father had lived in Brazil. (Ironically, he didn’t speak much Korean and had to learn when he moved to South Korea to begin training.) KARD’s discography reflects his experiences, which can be heard in what many would consider their sound, as the co-ed group is well-known for incorporating Latin genres in their music such as reggaetón and moombahton. This has made them extremely popular in South and Latin America and among Spanish- and Portuguese-speaking fans, and allows them to dominate a niche that still remains relatively untapped—at the very least, no other KPOP group is considered comparable. Having debuted in 2017, they have maintained a strong following and continue to enjoy their career as their popularity grows.

KARD’s fans care about them because they make music that is familiar and comforting to them. By paying homage to genres that they love and grew up with and thus showing their fans that they care about something that is important and beloved to them, KARD has ensured that their fans care about them and their music in turn. This is not to say that BM specifically is what makes KARD unique or special, but he does have multiple writing, producing, and composing credits for the group’s music as well as his own, so it’s safe to say that he has a great deal of influence on their sound, at the very least; and he himself is very well-liked.

Art helps bridge the gaps between different people by finding things they have in common; and when people see themselves represented in art, they feel a kinship with the artist. This is true in the broadest, most general sense for art in any form, but what KPOP is especially good at is the artist-fan relationship.

The nature of the lives they lead makes celebrities and public figures largely inaccessible to the general population; the person living an ordinary life has no way to relate to the movie star making millions, and it’s sometimes easy to forget human beings all share the same experiences on a basic level when a small percentage of them are doing things that you could never imagine was possible for yourself. For better or worse, fans find KPOP appealing because idols are specifically trained and marketed to appear more accessible. If they’re regularly live streaming while eating in their pajamas and talking to fans casually or holding their hands at fan meetings, then it’s easy to believe that you know them or that they’re your friends. Most fans would like to believe that they can tell who is being genuine and who is playing up the fan service, but regardless, it’s easier to sell albums when fans are convinced that their favorite artists care about them as people. This is not meant to be cynicism; there is no doubt that KPOP idols love and appreciate their fans. Korean culture emphasizes gratitude and respect, and success is often seen as a group achievement rather than that of any one person. Idols know that they would not have their careers if they didn’t have supportive fans; and the mutually beneficial relationship ensures that KPOP artists can continue to make music and perform and fans can continue to enjoy their content.

Of course, KPOP fans do care about talent—often to the point of being overly critical and sometimes harsh. Personal taste also accounts for fans dismissing groups based on preferences for specific aspects of performance versus others, but the Korean entertainment industry is home to an extensive catalogue of programs designed to showcase the various talents of artists, especially when they’re having a comeback.

Groups making their debut or promoting new music usually appear on the same programs, such as SHOW CHAMPION, Mnet Countdown, THE SHOW, THE SHOW CHOICE, Music Bank, Show! MusicCore, and Inkigayo, as well as other miscellaneous shows such as Arirang’s SIMPLY K-POP CON-TOUR and Naver’s NPOP, which are all regularly broadcasted on a set schedule that Koreans can tune into as they’re aired and international fans can watch on platforms such as YouTube. Episodes are pre-recorded and the use of backing tracks is common, which has led to the emergence of channels dedicated to digitally removing backing tracks so that the artists’ live vocals can be heard. Fans are welcome to be in the audience to cheer on their favorite groups and have the opportunity to interact with them. Some artists will even prepare gifts to hand out to fans at such pre-recordings as a show of appreciation for their support.

Aside from having a huge public broadcasting network, Korea’s digital media presence is quite considerable. KPOP groups have many avenues available to them to demonstrate their skills to fans and the general public; and YouTube in particular is a great tool for reaching larger audiences. Comeback season usually means one or two dance practice videos get posted to the group’s channel—one for the title track and one for the B-side that they’re promoting alongside the title track—and sometimes even performance videos, which are more polished and produced than dance practice videos, since the latter are usually filmed in a practice studio with the members wearing more casual or exercise clothing. Companies might even share vlogs showing the recording process for new music; and individual members will post covers of songs they like, sometimes on their birthdays as gifts to fans or just because.

The promotional period immediately following a debut or comeback is especially important. Not only does it help groups promote their new music to their fans but it also helps them reach new audiences; and if you know what you’re interested in, it’s easy to find the channels that focus on what you most want to see.

Groups known for their exceptional dance skills and impressive stage presence often appear on STUDIO CHOOM (”choom” being the Korean word for “dance”), 1theK’s 1theKILLPO, or DGG’s COLOR DANCE. These channels make it easier to get the complete picture of the choreography, as the camera work on music shows doesn’t always allow for this.

Main and sometimes lead vocalists of groups get invited to Lee Mujin Service, where they perform prepared pieces live in front of Lee Mujin, who is a talented singer himself, and his crew. Groups with reputations for having strong live vocals appear on it’s Live to sing with a live band, where groups can perform to the fullest of their vocal abilities unhindered by having to perform choreography; or, one of my favorites, Dingo Music’s Killing Voice—which is especially helpful for people looking to get into a group, as it provides a sample of their discography while showcasing their vocals. There are also popular radio shows that are both broadcasted live on the air and stream online, such as Kiss the Radio, COOL LIVE, STATION Z, and more (via KBS CoolFM).

As the years go by, KPOP fans have become more and more insistent on live vocals, wanting to hear the artists’ voices without auto tune or heavy post-production. Lip syncing is heavily frowned upon; and while fans have generally always been openly critical of companies that prioritize visuals over skill, the overabundance of groups in the market have made people especially discerning. Many fans also say that they would rather hear a group try to sing live, even if they’re not perfect, than not sing live at all; but the groups that are widely praised as exemplary are those who can sing live and sing live well—especially while performing choreography. Notable examples of stable live vocals include the live version of ONEUS’s dance practice for “ERASE ME”, NMIXX’s stage practice for “Soñar (Breaker)” (although it seems this is standard for them), and Weeekly’s dancEAR performance of “VROOM VROOM”.

The KBS show Immortal Songs is a program where groups are invited to perform their own renditions of legendary songs by older, well-established artists who are highly respected and revered in the industry. While there is some post-production when the episodes are made available online, the show’s main draw is that artists are not allowed to lip sync.

Now, lip syncing is not the crime that people make it out to be; rather, it is a necessity, especially if the artist is going to be performing for a greater length of time. As aerobic activities, singing and dancing both require significant amounts of oxygen; and artists are more likely to choose to allocate their oxygen to dancing over singing, especially when they have a backing track to cover them. No artist should sacrifice their health or physical well-being for the sake of proving that they can sing live all the time—and no one should expect them to, as the longevity of a singer’s voice is strongly dependent on vocal health—but it is possible to reach a point where one can sing live stably while dancing through endurance training, which is why some fans say that KPOP idols are athletes in addition to being artists.

In June of 2023, ATEEZ set a new record as the first group to win on Immortal Songs four separate times, having appeared on the show six times. Often dismissed by the Korean KPOP audience and by the rest of the industry for coming from a small company and for their unconventional style, they are mostly praised for their incredible performances and unmatched stage presence; and their live vocals tend to be overlooked. However, Seonghwa revealed during his and Mingi’s appearance on the Butler Kwang show that he practiced singing while running on the treadmill in preparation for their Coachella performances and even demonstrated his vocal stability by singing while running and jumping in place. Their Killing Voice session has also placed them at the top of many people’s lists for stellar live vocals; and although Dingo is known for their post-production, clips of ATEEZ’s raw vocals during filming were quickly circulated, earning them praise from fans, vocal coaches, and other professional singers.

With fans prioritizing exceptional singing and live vocals, we’re beginning to see a shift in how Korean entertainment companies approach the way they put groups together. The emergence of vocal powerhouses like BABYMONSTER has put pressure on the rest of the industry to reassess the importance of solid singing abilities in their artists; and in the event that their companies won’t invest in vocal training, some idols are taking it upon themselves to pursue voice lessons independently.

At the end of the day, talent is not always in the eye of the beholder, no matter their level of professional expertise. The shrewdest talent scout knows that their personal preference means nothing if the individual they’re eyeing has something that most people would like. Additionally, public opinion need not be so extreme—the lack of talent in one area does not negate the talent in another. A person is not automatically untalented overall because they can sing but not dance, or vice-versa; and even people who are not necessarily strong singers or dancers make it into groups because they have certain skills that cannot easily be taught—if at all—such as charisma and what is most widely known as “star power”. Even in art forms such as music, a winning personality has as much appeal as skill, and should not be easily dismissed as unnecessary or unimportant. Furthermore, something that doesn’t fit one’s personal style or taste is not automatically “bad”, nor is something automatically “good” if it does fit. The tendency to view things in this way is what leads to fan wars as the least extreme scenario and the death of innovation and variety at most. The constant influx of new groups means that the KPOP world is truly a fan’s oyster; and in this world, everyone can enjoy what they like without diminishing someone else’s skills.

*When I took the SAT exam in 2011, the highest possible score was 2400. As of the December 7th, 2024 update, the highest possible score you can achieve now on the SAT is 1600.

**In October 2023, the Buena Park City Council designated a three-mile stretch of Beach Boulevard as Koreatown, making it Orange County’s second Koreatown after Garden Grove. This area includes the Source Mall. Korean Americans make up over 11% of Buena Park’s population; and it is the sister city to Seongbuk-gu in Seoul, South Korea.

This post was originally published on Saturday, July 22nd, 2023. The December 8th, 2024 update includes references to events that took place after the original post date.

#KPOP #Korean Music #JYP Entertainment #JYP #A2K #America to Korea #VCHA #HYBE Labels #HYBE #KATSEYE #KARD #KARD BM #ONEUS #NMIXX #Weeekly #ATEEZ #BABYMONSTER #HalfSeoulThinks

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starglitterz · 2 months ago

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don’t apologize! please take your time when answering my long asks (which is most of them, i guess we’re both yappers at heart) ❤️ i’m so proud of you for getting through your first year of uni, it must’ve come with some difficult moments and many challenges — you’re so close! i’m sure you’ll ace your finals. kiss of life & lesserafim are some of my favorite girl groups too, i hope you’ll be able to see at least one of them soon! 𐔌ᵔ ܸ . .ᵔ ꣓

i’ve been doing well, i have many exams coming up (one tomorrow, actually & a few in may). as for how well i’ll do on them, i’m not entirely certain … but i’ll try my best!

rafayel’s been dodging everyone who actually wants him 🙂‍↔️✋ he might get dumped if he keeps this up (for caleb — what! who said that!)

you’re very sweet :3c thank you so much! i may cave in and make one for kunigami then. unfortunately, igaguri kissers do indeed exist — i stumbled upon them on tiktok … revealing their secret love for him through a few trendy audios 😭 of course, i was in shock. it’s like encountering an extinct species 🫢

another sakadays watcher :0 that’s so cool! i hope you get to finish it soon, it’s so silly /pos!! apothecary diaries was a recommendation from one of my friends, though i never watched it until recently (it was recommended to me literal MONTHS ago 😭) but i understand what you mean, i’m very excited to see your reaction to it 🤞 i also watched 7th time loop in one sitting despite it not having a dub, it’s extremely underrated i fear !!

i’m sure your wattpad works must’ve been masterpieces, courtesy of babie quill 🥺💖 i do write here! though, i haven’t written anything in ages since i’m just now starting to get back into it after many months of writer’s block. i have a few drafts, but i don’t have the motivation to start any of them as of yet — so i might write something entirely unrelated to them (#writercore) !! as for the fandoms i write for, too many to count i fear. primarily for hoyoverse games (though i’m losing my interest in genshin due to its disappointing updates lately)

i also added a few animes to my roster, though i may put them in a miscellaneous category since i don’t see myself writing for them THAT much to the point where they deserve their own spots in my masterlist. speaking of animes, blue lock is one of them! which i see an itoshi sae fake dating series in your wip list 🙈 i’m super excited to read & reblog! it looks super interesting and with your writing style it’ll be museum worthy for sure 💝

i’m not certain if you’ve ever seen my fics, i don’t think so 🤔 that’s a good thing though since at the time i had a hate-hate relationship w/ my inconsistent writing style. i’m doing a lot better now though !! as for if you’ve seen me around at all, there’s a possibility since i am friends with a mutual of yours (no spoilers) 😼 did that give me away… hope not??

i love matching your freak!! you’re a literal icon, i’m very honored to be able to talk to you like this :)

— 💤

HEHEHE i love yapping and i always get so excited whenever i see your asks, it's only bc my irl schedule is always kicking my ass that it takes so long to reply 💔 and yess!! i'm honestly also shocked i made it through my first year LMAO, i threatened to drop out probably 92838957 times </3 and i really hope i get to see at least one of them, it's just that tickets are sooo expensive and i'm unfortunately a brokie KJSDKJAWKS 😭 and omg you listen to kpop too?! what are your fave songs by both groups? and also do you listen to boy groups too 👀

aww by the time i'm getting to this ask your first exam would already have finished, but i'm sure you did amazing bb!!! don't stress, i'm sure you worked very hard for it <3 and good luck for your papers in may as well!!!! doing your best is what counts hehe, i'll be cheering for you!

rafayel... the things i want to say to this man!!! i will literally fry this fishie if he doesn't come home asap on whatever his next banner is istg 😡 BUT i did end up getting his limited myth! so he lives to see another day HAHAHA <33 as for caleb... is it js me or a lot of raf girlies are also caleb girlies 🤭 (definitely not speaking from personal experience)

and YESS please do! as i said, i would genuinely love to read it if you do make one 🫶 and omg... you're so right abt the extinct species thing HAHAHA THEY SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST!!! /silly

and omg YES i will be binging sakadays & knh this week! i'll tell u everything i think of it after 🙂‍↕️ knox will def be happy abt that LOL <33 and i've never heard of 7th time loop, what is it abt? 👀

girl they were definitely Not masterpieces but i appreciate the sentiment 😭🥹🫶 and omg!!! that's so nice to hear that you're getting back into writing, i guess we're in the same boat then <3 AHAHA THAT IS LITERALLY SO WRITERCORE,,, always starting new drafts and never finishing them 😔 but omg you write for hyv too!!!!!!!! unfortunately i've also been losing interest in genshin </3 like you said the new updates are just so meh 😭 the new leaked 5star does look cute though, the fontainian chef i think? i do like ifa but i wish he was a 5star,,, but i doubt i'll be coming back to the game unless they suddenly announce like kokomi rerun or smth HAHAHA

and ohh okay okay! i get that as well <3 have you watched windbreaker by any chance? it's a relatively recent anime that i rly liked hehe, it has similar vibes to haikyuu/blue lock somehow??? idk LMAO 😭 and omg YAYYY BLUE LOCK FANS UNITE 🔥🔥🔥i would love to see you write for them 👀 HAHASKJDKSD i'm excited but also nervous for the sae series, it'll be my first time doing an entirely written series instead of a smau,,, so i'm js trying to relax & have fun with it hehe 🙂‍↕️ and STOPKSDKSJD you're too sweet thank you so much 🥹 i hope i won't let you down!!!

aww that's a shame that i haven't seen your fics, but you never know!!! i might have 👀 and omg girl i'm sure your writing was AMAZING and it's def only gotten even better now 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🫶 and omg WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO??? i'm so curious now HAHAHA 😭 to be honest i am kind of oblivious and also kind of an idiot so don't worry at all you didn't give yourself away LMAO <333

and STOPPP you're way too nice pookie i am literally just some random girl on tumblr 😭🫶 i'm also sososo happy to talk with you like this hehehe, i always have a lot of fun answering your asks!!! TAKE CAREE MWAH <333

#long post #cw long post #📧 — mail !#💤 anon💌

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fxirybun · 8 months ago

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fr although some readings have changed my mind on how i used to view some idols especially the ones that are like up at the top of the popularity contest that kpop really is about. cause when has kpop ever been truly about simply enjoying the music and talent of idols? nahhh it benefits of the emotions that ppl display from their unhealthy attachments to such groups thus fanwars online benefit both sides of the fandoms greatly and other useless shit as well that all seems to stem from how people kinda choose to react to idols

sure in the west there is also parasocial relationships hence how we get sucked into it from the start but i do think western music is more so abt connecting with their songs / lyrics, there is a few more i would say iconic song styles that kpop cant copy even jpop has been around much longer than kpop itself and kpop is more so about outward imagery / aegyo / forced interactions between groupmates, kpop seems like a bit weak tbh? they cannput x amount of foreigners but is it really kpop then?

the idols are barely paid until they debut its basically free labour on the off chance they may or may not debut but in the west they do spend more time actually teaching nesescary skills for an artist or group to perform at a certain level consistently whereas kpops like imbalanced and off piste so to speak. not saying jpop aint got its evil ways most of the music scene is corrupt these days :( or always have been and only recently are ppl being made aware of it

but if im being honest i dont know if im always the first to believe every piece of news or crime to do with music like it has me thinking sure there are criminals in kpop sleazy gits who want to lure kids in to do music and wreck their every sense of wellbeing, sabotage comes to mind and it just seems every other prolific celeb or idol nowadays seems to either be genuinely criminal and evil orrr sabotaged depending how much u want to believe

yeah i did notice how the parasocial relationships between the west vs east are significantly different from one another. imo it's the artists and their management's fault for enabling their fans to engage in this unhealthy interaction they created. they're aware of what they're doing (most of them are adults) yet they simply brushed it off and pretend like it's normal.

if my memory serves me right kpop would take heavy inspiration from other country's song genres. an example of it would be tyla's music being a huge hit and how other kpop groups would try to mimic it due to how popular the song was. kpop in general did a good marketing strategy in trying to gather popularity by doing those interactions you mentioned.

not just barely paid too 'cause i heard that the idols who aren't mainstreamed , didn't debut , or such have a huge debt from the company they are under 😕 i'm not that familiar with how the west , jpop, and kpop industry works so i have no words for this section.

hence it's best to set our limits and try not to get too attached to them. we will never know who they are behind the image they created and besides , your life is more worth the investment than someone else's <3

#fxiry talks

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cakejerry · 2 years ago

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I've gone through your posts and saw that you believe that jk is hard carrying bts and that you don't like the other vocals...can I hear why you say this?.

Also, I'm not coming off aggressive or anything, I had to clarify this cause you can never tell a person's tone through social media.

But that aside, I would like to hear your thoughts.

I mean it's just canon that jungkook is good at everything idk what you want me to say. But to elaborate I was watching their older mvs and it's just obvious that he was The Center. Like. He was rapping, he was doing 90% of the vocals, he was a main dancer and practically the face of the group after rap monster. They were pushing jin as a visual but it fell flat with their hiphop concept. Jk was talented at everything, young, average looking at the time, normal korean name, he was a shoe-in to bring in the gp. Especially with the rap line all having their distinct styles which could've set people off... Just a perfect all-rounder straight from the get-go and before any improvement.

One of my posts was inspired by that. The other was after I watched them record the in the soop theme song and it was obvious that 1. Jungkook does all the song guides 2. after other people recorded the song on camera he came in and re-recorded all the adlibs himself 💀 Like. The others were just doing shit but he's the only one who sounded good doing it.

I mean i don't think it's a stretch in any way to say he's bangtan's only true vocalist? Jin is there for his face, he can hold a note but not very well. He's a shower-singer, the kind you would compliment but not put on a stage. Tae has a deep voice which no one knows how to handle, they had him doing autotune growling for the first 2 years of his career, and later when he found his jazz sound... It's FINE, but again. His voice is quiet when in-range. You want him to sing you lullabies, not record a pop song. Jimin is just... Geunyang geunyang. Like tell me it's not grating at times. And I was (am?) Jimin biased. I cant listen to fake love without that one MOREUGESSO voice break ringing in my ears. They had him doing strained high notes just because his voice is naturally high his ass has never received proper vocal training.

And jungkook is the only one who has ALWAYS sung live. His voice is naturally strong and stable and he knows how to handle a mic. I know a lot of kpop fans are deaf to the fairly obvious instances of lip-syncing aka. noticing when an artist is singing OVER the backing track versus not singing at all. But performing seven the other day just made it obvious like. Not many kpop idols (vocalists) would be able to handle that type of setup!!! Not without pre-recording and the audio team setting certain parts of the track at 80% to cover for breathing/dancing time. I think even bts had to do that shit for the american shows they were on but the seven performance was straight up a rehearsal. His ass was spontaneously starting and stopping lines and it was obvious that the backing track was just at like 10% the whole time. He stops dancing when hes singing and vice versa. Like a REAL performer. And i love kpop and i love lipsync (srs) and i dont think live singing should be a requirement in that industry. But jk is obviously wanting to become a mainstream pop boy and my point is that he CAN because, while his vocals aren't that impressive on their own, (he's not ailee or nothing), he's an all-rounder. He can do it all.

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windycityazan · 2 years ago

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Looking to make some Penpal friends

Been searching around trying to find any pen pals from Instagram mostly, dont really trust the FB groups that are made for pen pals.

I did meet a pen pal on IG but she had stopped really with the letter writing or damn USPS got lame and may have lost her letter that she said she was gonna send months back so not sure if I am just personally bad at making any friends in the real World.

I haven't done one in ages since i was prolly in my elementary days but i guess being in the late 30's can be boring. But would love to meet new people either online or on paper which I rarely have done.

Is anyone on Tumblr looking to make Real Life friends?

I am 35, American (Korean) born and raised in the hell hole Chicago has become now with all the crazies going on. Likes: pretty much all sort of tv dramas from the American to Kdrama and C dramas and some animes (will take on recs for any other Asian style dramas if there good plots) If you want to know more I can post a list. Music: Kpop (mostly the boy bands like BTS, ATEEZ, SF9, Astro,Seventeen) some Black Pink- had some favs as teen but been so long since I listened to girl bands and cant remember much, have gotten back into Kpop for about the time Covid started but slowly building into liking more bands) Also love listening to certain Kdrama OST's which lead me to fall in love with korean music more as the shows aired. But i have a spotify playlist i build for a bunch of KDrama songs. Also Chinese music has also gotten some of my likes from Ren Jialun (Allen Ren) has some great songs and acting, Zhang Zhehan who was a good actor now mostly into singing is pretty good too. I like also being creative with digital art like fan art of tv dramas like making gifs or plane fan art posters and such, used to do a lot on LiveJournal if you know that site. Been mostly making short vid clips for Twitter here and there haven't really done gifs in a while but I sometimes do for the fun of it. I also graduated from Uni with a BFA in concentration in Graphic Design since all I love is being on the computer so have that as a hobby. Fav foods: korean bbq love spicy pork and pork wit lettuce also the short ribs marinated. American wise Pizza, pasta, Chinese cuisine a bit of mix of everything. Fav books: scifi fantasy, romance, mangas ( Sailor Moon, Haikyuu, Shadowhunters series, Harry Potter series, Twilight saga, Fifty Shades series, Gabriels Inferno series)

If you have any questions you can DM if you want to snail mail hopefully t doesn't get lost in the mail on both ends or we can chat before deciding on giving out addresses.

Twitter: judy1987

IG: jca_creates (online store coming soon and where some of my art gets posted or judychodesigns (was made mostly for university senior art class reasons) has some of my works kind of

#penpals #pen pal wanted #looking for a penpal #snail mail #penpal

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citronsucre · 2 years ago

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retournement de veste !

All the kpop idols being invited to fashion events and becoming houses ambassadors made me think about how fashion luxury houses are so fast to turn around and try to seduce a public they used to turn their backs to. In fact, these companies have always wanted to dissociate themselves with certain groups and figures. The Kardashians are a great example of this phenomenon, luxury houses didn’t really want anything to do with them until Balmain’s creative director Olivier Rousteing took an interest in the family.

In France, owning luxury items is popular in urban areas leading to a love and hate relationship between fashion houses and these populations that don’t fit the image of said houses. The derogatory, racist and classist term “Lacoste TN” designate young black and north African men living in urban areas dressing in Lacoste tracksuits with AirMax TN sneakers. The term is widely known and shows the popularity of this style mixing streetwear and luxury. Unfortunately for these houses, this is not the lifestyle and outdoor activities they are trying to promote :( The luxury tennis outfit oriented brand Lacoste especially, whose popularity in the suburbs is incredible, has been vocal about not wanting to associate with this group. Eventually, with them playing quite a large part in Lacoste’s sales in France, the house ended collaborating with french rapper Moha La Squale.

France is not the first country encountering this behavior. Actually, the popularization of streetwear, monogram, sneakers and chunky jewelry in luxury is due to the African American community in neighborhoods of New York and Hip Hop music. Dapper Dan was an amazing designer from Harlem, is influence on black music and the style associated with it is huge. His work at first consisted of creating knock-offs of luxury items and playing around with logos. That is how the monogram print was popularized. Luxury houses which excluded black people, did not want to be associated with them or their music, called their style tacky, ghetto or ratchet started reappropriating these creations and selling them to white rich people in the suburbs.

When European luxury houses first made their first steps into Asia, whiteness and the Parisian style was the goal. Boarding school uniform inspired preppy was in vogue in Japan starting from the 1960′s. I have always found it odd how 30 years later, with the rise of Harajuku fashion and the popularity of streetstyle photography magazine FRUiTS, these brands never tried to collaborate or work with young Japanese artists. It was maybe too tacky for them, too out of pocket or too “street” since it seems like it is a global problem. So it is funny now to see how Heavn by Marc Jacobs collaborated with FRUiTS Magazine’s photographer Shoichi Aoki and tried to mimic an aesthetic by watering down alternative asian fashion culture and manufacturing it to sell it to the mass while the whole purpose of the movement was to protest against social norms by being unique and creating unique in the world pieces mixing traditional and modern clothing. I am not trying to say i hate the brand, I actually liked it at first, I am juste a girl in my twenties who likes asian fashion so of course I liked it. But when thinking about it, nothing new has been created, everything they sell is already available on the market. It just caters down to mass consumerism and the “weird girl aesthetic” that for some reason makes me think of the manic pixie dream girl except it is fashion.

Now with the influence of Korean culture you know they had to ! Houses will go out of their way to have at least one Korean celebrity sit at their show, idols being the golden ticket. Even if this is not new and even if I am glad artists get this opportunity, I find it sad and sometimes reducing to invite pretty faces instead of actually working with them on interesting projects, especially since South Korea is a buzzing spot for emerging designers and small artists. It is like non white people have two options: be excluded or be a totem.

(if you want to know more about Heavn i suggest you watch this video ! it is really interesting and i agree with everything being said)

#citron sucre #high fashion #fashion industry

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boysplanetrecaps · 2 years ago

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Boys Planet, Episode 8: The First Hour

Hello, friends! So, as you might recall, the first hour or so of episode 8 is devoted to going through the preparation that the various teams made for the third challenge mission, knowing that only half of them would actually be able to perform it. I didn’t recap it at the time because I was more interested in covering the eliminations, but I’ll be covering it here in this post!

Please note that it’ll be hard for me to talk about these groups without sometimes acknowledging who does and who doesn’t survive the elimination from the second half of this episode. If you’re spoiler averse, you may want to wait until you’ve seen the rest of the episode to read this part. For what it's worth, I don’t feel like I’ll be saying anything that you wouldn’t have more or less guessed.

Here we go!

We start at 5:45 in to the episode. The boys are gathered in a large room, still wearing their outfits from the second challenge mission. They’re there to be assigned to one of the five “artist” songs that were revealed in episode 6. (The link takes you to the mini demos, and is spoiler free.) I find it difficult to describe what the songs sound like, especially since we can’t hear the whole songs and the genres the show uses to describe them are kinda weird (“oriental pop”? “Sentimental hiphop”???). So you can listen for yourself.

As was the case for all Produce/Planet shows before this, the trainees were matched to songs based on audience vote. The Star Creators were given like, 24 hours to vote on this, which means that for the most part, only Koreans really had a chance to do it. The idea is supposed to be that the audience would put, say, Cha Woongki in a cute song, and put, say, Kim JiWoong in a sexy song. Also, the trainees appealed to the Star Creators to put them in a particular song. That video is actually a lot of fun -- some of the trainees sing or dance to get your attention, and I feel like it’s the first time I actually heard Ricky just straight up sing. He’s got a really nice voice! Notably, Z-bo speaks some Korean in his video, too, so that’s cool! Anyway, it’s cute to watch, and has subtitles, so give it a look if you’re at all interested.

Of course, since a bunch of trainees wanted certain songs, and not a lot of people wanted certain other songs, the matchup could never be perfect. I’ll get to all that in a bit!

In any case, we finally find out that the new Star Master is Key from SHINee. If you don’t know SHINee, check out their songs Sherlock, View, and Replay. If you don’t like any of those then it’s ok, but trust me, SHINee is really well-respected and completely changed K-pop. Before SHINee, no one danced while singing the way that SHINee did. If there had never been a SHINee, there would not have been a BTS, not the way that you know them. So, even if you don’t like their music, you should know who they are. (Oh, and side note, if you watched Run for The Money on Netflix, that featured Minho, who is also from SHINee.)

The SHINee boys are also sentimental faves of mine. SHINee and f(x) were the two groups who really got me into Kpop, and if you know much about kpop, you know that those two groups have something really awful in common and I don’t want to talk about it, but let me just remind us all to be kind to kpop celebrities, ok? Because we don’t want stuff like that happening again.

Anyway, SHINee debuted in 2008, when Key was just 17 (and dance machine Taemin was just 14). They were HUGE -- they were absolute sensations. Their clothing set fashion trends, and their songs were all massive hits. The members have gone through a lot, but they’re still kicking. Key is the funniest, most snarky, most honest member, and he’s known for his sense of style as well as his performance abilities. Check out his new song Killer -- it’s got a retro-80s vibe that I really dig and I think a lot of people would like it!

So yeah, when the trainees react to Key as of a god has walked into the room, they’re not exaggerating for the camera. Key debuted when some of them were still too young to know how to tie their shoes, and he’s fucking COOL.

His level of fame leaves pretty much every other star master on the show completely in the dust, with the possible exception of Sunmi, who dropped by in episode 3. She's at least maybe kind of on par.

So, yeah, once they manage to rehinge all their jaws, Key gives them the rules of the next mission -- how they’ll all prepare the songs, then find out halfway through who survived and will get to perform them. I love how the trainees are always surprised when the show does exactly what it has done every season since Produce101 season 1. I mean, I know the show has a different name now but it’s still the same show. Six seasons, and you’re shocked? Come on, now.

Since this is an “artist battle,” let me add in a quick note on the term “artist” in Kpop -- I think I talked about this in another recap but I don’t remember for sure so I’ll risk doing it again. In Korea, it’s understood that idols make idol music, and that artists make, for lack of a better word, “real” music. People like Bibi are understood to be artists, and as such don’t necessarily always dance, or have fan meetings, etc. People like Huta are understood to be idols; they’re praised for their “visuals” (ie, whether or not they have nice faces) and are generally expected to remain single to be a parasocial love object for their fans. They make their money off of brand endorsements as much as concert sales. People like Hui or Jeon Soyeon from G-Idle or G-Dragon from BigBang kind of toe the line between idol and artist, since they write their own songs and manage their own teams, but also happen to be really good looking and usually happy to endorse whatever you have lying around. It’s kind of weird to expect these trainees to be “artists”, but every reality show keeps making things more difficult ever year, even though their contestants aren’t necessarily getting more talented every year. I mean, have you watched the most recent season of Great British Bake Off? What WAS that? But I digress.

Ok, back to the point. It's an artist battle; they'll be given demo songs and demo choreography, but they're expected to go ahead and change whatever they want and plan the staging and performance.

So the boys listen to the songs and aggressively love them all. My favorite is when they listen to the “oriental pop” song Switch and Seo Won says he feels like he’s abroad. Wut….? I guess to them, “oriental” means India? I also liked when Matthew said, “I don’t want to do sexy concepts” about the sexy song, which like, yes, thank you, Matthew. Figure out what you’re good at, please.

Then Key tells them that the members of the team that gets ranked first at the Artist Battle will get 200,000 points each, with the “winning” member getting an extra 200,000. That is a substantial benefit, but since it will probably end up going to a mostly top-11 team anyway, it won’t end up mattering. They’ll also end up going on M-Countdown, and, even bigger to them, having a fan meeting. They’re excited about that, and I don’t blame them.

Oh, I’m having a flashback to that GP999 fan meeting when they were still in the middle of c*vid and all the fans were in their cars in the middle of a field. I’m glad we’re through the worst of that stuff now. I don’t want to go off on a tangent about some of the stuff I experienced living in a huge, hard-hit US city, but it was awful. I bet a lot of us have stories like that, huh? It’ll be one of those things that in five or ten years, when you meet someone for the first time, one of the first things you’ll talk about in the get-to-know-you phase will be “where were you in March of 2020?” Like for the boomers, talking about where they were when they found out that JFK had been shot.

Back to the show.

So, the boys are finding out which song they got, which means it’s another one of those lengthy “finding out who is in which team” montages, complete with pranks and stuff and it’s not that fascinating…? So I’ll just recap some of the highlights, and then get to the part where they’re actually preparing.

I-Chan asked for Over Me in that video, but as he was leaving the room the other trainees say he wanted Switch, and that is in fact what he got.

I really love Park Hyunbeen saying at first that Supercharger didn’t really “suit his taste” (he wanted the cute song, Say My Name, and I agree it would have been a cute performance!) but when he finds out that he got Supercharger after all, he gives a big smile and says that now he’s excited to do that song. Aww, why do I only end up really loving some of these trainees when it’s too late? You’re a cutie pie, Hyunbeen.

It’s kind of heart breaking to watch Ji Yun Seo and Lee Yedam be so happy to get the song they wanted, knowing what we know.

THEORY TIME: I think that for the most part, the audience did vote to give trainees what they asked for, and I think that when there were too many trainees for a given song -- “Over Me” and “Say My Name” were very popular -- the producers matched them to songs in order of their rank. Thus, as very few trainees wanted Supercharger, many low-ranked trainees ended up in that song; as Say My Name was heavily requested, it was filled mostly with higher ranked trainees. Just my theory but it seems to explain a lot.

This:

I think that the reason Anthonny seems a little sad when he joins the Switch team is that he wanted Say My Name. But I think Switch could also have been great for Anthonny.

The fact that Lee DaEul and both “houses” were put in Supercharger seems to confirm my theory that Supercharger was a dumping ground for unpopular trainees who wanted popular songs. That, or the audience put Lee DaEul in Supercharger to continue to punish him for his sins.

I love Kum Jun Hyeon saying, “Park Gunwook and I decided to be friends. We became friends.” That’s how it works in my little cousin’s world -- he decides to be friends with someone and then is. Knowing that he’s good friends with Gunwook kind of explains that whole scene in episode 6 when he was trying to get Gunwook kicked out of Tomboy so Gunwook would have to come over to Ggang with him.

I know that the show format encourages the pranking and stuff but it’s really not my favorite.

Everyone’s reaction to Zhang Hao arriving is amazing. Chen Kuan Jui just picking him up and carrying him around is my favorite bit.

It’s kind of interesting how Sung Hanbin, Kim JiWoong, and Matthew all wanted to do something “not sexy.” I guess I understand -- most kpop groups do all different concepts, and it’s a valuable skill to be able to pull off a song like Love Me Right and ALSO pull off a song like Love Killa. But still, I just think that Say My Name sounds like every “cute” kpop song thrown into a blender and then put into a “cute song” mold and allowed to solidify there before someone carefully dumped it out onto a plate. I don’t know. I know it’ll get stuck in my head eventually anyway but it’s not like that’s the kind of song I seek out to listen to.

JiWoong says, “I want to perform while smiling.” Do that ANYWAY, JiWoong. If Kai from Exo smiles in the middle of Obsession, you can smile in the middle of Love Killa, JiWoong.

Ok! Let's talk about each team's preparation.

21:26: En Garde

Here is the En Garde team, with the song that each member wanted, as well as their previous song. I’ve arranged them in order of their Episode 6 rank, which gives you a sense of how likely they are to survive.

Kim Gyu Vin En Garde Love Killa Hui En Garde Tomboy Park Gunwook En Garde Tomboy Kum Jun Hyeon En Garde Gang Park Hanbin En Garde Law Lee Seung Hwan Say My Name Gang Hiroto En Garde Rush Hour Lee Ye Dam En Garde Law Ji Yun Seo En Garde Home Oh Sung Min En Garde Rush Hour

They have to choose a leader, and Hui is like, WAYYY too invested in being the leader. He wants to work with his “database” and all the know how he’s built up over the years. The editors do him a little dirty, fast forwarding his speech on why he should be leader, and even showing him practicing his speech in the bathroom ahead of time.

The first time that I laughed out loud at anything that Kum Jun Hyeon has ever done was right here, when, after Hui finishes his lengthy speech, Kum says to the other trainees that their speeches about why they want to be leader “have to be lengthier than this.” I think it threw Hui off a little bit -- he may have been expecting grateful acceptance of his leadership, or else a challenge from Park Hanbin perhaps, but not someone making fun of his careful speech.

In any case, naturally, Hui is chosen to be the leader. I’d choose him as the leader too.

The crew members explain that there will be two people chosen for the killing part and other parts, because there are ten of them for now, despite there being six people in the choreography. And of course, everyone wants to get the killing part, because as usual that means tons more screen time. Gyuvin, JunHyeon, Yedam, Gunwook, YunSeo, and Sungmin all want it. I actually laughed again as all six of them practice the same bit but at slightly different times. The edit focuses primarily on Gyuvin and Gunwook -- as if the other ones are laughable for wanting it. I think Oh Sungmin actually does a great job -- JunHyeon overdances and looks out of control, and we barely see Yedam or Yunseo.

Side note: Oh Sungmin looked so much better with his real hair color. Why is he doing this blonde curl thing when he is capable of looking like this? Oh, and while we’re looking at old T01 fancams, check out this one of Woongki, being all serious and charismatic. I know it’s not his personality but he pulls it off, in my opinion. I guess they just both don’t want to do songs like that anymore.

In any case, Gunwook turns out to be a lock, and then they choose Gyuvin as well.

We cut to their trainee self-evaluation, and we see them performing. Honestly, they look great for a midway practice run. I wonder if Hui deputized Park Hanbin to run dance rehearsals? I would, in his shoes. A good leader knows how to delegate!

Gyuvin is nervous to be compared to Gunwook, and when it’s his team’s turn to try, Gyuvin chokes a bit and forgets some of the lyrics. Still, later on when they get the evaluation forms back, many trainees choose Gyuvin as the better choice for the center, saying he suits it better.

Side note: Look at Gyuvin doing a scaled down version of his hero Exo-Kai’s trademark leaning-back slouch.

Obviously, Kai has it down to a limbo-esque art, but Gyuvin is working on it!!!

The team does well overall. It’s great to see some of the trainees perform the song who won’t get to do it on stage -- good job, you guys. And we’re left with the thought that team En Garde is on track to succeed.

We’ll have to see

which member they kick out later on, and

which member gets to keep the Killing Part.

At 31:00, we switch over to team Say My Name.

Everyone in this group wanted this song, so I’ll just list the trainees and their previous song to help remind you of who is who, but this group is full of fairly popular trainees and you’ll probably recognize all or most of them.

Sung Hanbin Tomboy Han Yu Jin Law Seok Matthew Love Killa Kim Ji Woong Love Killa Kim Tae Rae Man in Love Yoo Seung Eon Home Seo Won Love Killa Takuto Rush Hour Ollie Zoom Cha Woong Ki Feel Special

The team needs to elect a leader, and there’s this ex-cru-ci-a-ting-ly edited bit about Matthew possibly wanting to be leader and then Sung Hanbin volunteering. I cannot describe how irritating it is. The worst part is from about 31:55 to 32:15. I want to burn their editing studio to the floor.

So they decide to have Hanbin be the leader, and Kim JiWoong says, “Matthew, I think Hanbin will be good leader,” and Matthew says, “As long as he listens to you.”

Matthew is doing a lot of that kind of “joking” that people do when they’re not really joking, you know? Ok, so, story time. I’m friends with two people who a couple, and we were all having a board game night, and when one member of the couple went to get another drink, the other one in the couple was like, “Oh, ha ha, he can’t enjoy an evening without drinking too much, ha ha ha ha, guess I better not get a second drink because SOMEONE has to drive home so we don’t end up in a ditch, ha ha ha,” and it was sooooo uncomfortable because she was saying it like it was a joke, but it was NOT a joke. You feel me? That’s the kind of “joking” Matthew is doing.

That little dig -- “as long as he listens to you” -- manages to imply that (1) any issues JiWoong may have had with Matthew’s leadership stemmed from JiWoong wanting to inappropriately get his own way and (2) that JiWoong’s preference in a leader is rooted in who he thinks will give him his own way rather than in the quality of the leadership and (3) that JiWoong will probably have as much of an issue with Hanbin’s leadership as he did with Matthew’s once Hanbin starts actually giving orders AND (4) that there is no other substantive difference between Hanbin and Matthew’s leadership skills. You see what I mean? There’s a LOT there.

It’s u n c o m f o r t a b l e.

We don’t see the team choose main vocal -- they must have given it to Yoo Seung Eon -- and instead we go straight to subvocal 1, a substantive part that a lot of people want. One of the people who wants it is TaeRae, who inexplicably is NOT the main vocal, again, what the fuck, everyone. The story editors, though, focus on Matthew wanting sub-vocal-1. He says, “If I don’t get sub-vocal 1, then I’m screwed.” Again, not a good look.

I don’t know if you guys watched I-Land -- the reality show that created Enhypen -- but there was this memorable scene in which a guy named Jay (see what I mean about there being too many Jays in K-pop?) kept trying to get parts. He tried for main vocal, then subvocal 1, then subvocal 2, subvocal 3…. Every time they went to assign another part, he raised his hand. Inside, he was kind of dying as the potential parts got smaller and smaller, but he just kept trying. He ended up with a smallish part in the song, but the audience watching at home fell in love with the way he kept trying. He ended up actually getting into the final lineup for Enhypen.

Matthew, honey. Listen to BPR-Noona, ok? The audience already knows how well you sing, so you can relax. And truly, there are no small parts, just small players. Why did Sana’s “shy shy shy” take off in Cheer Up by Twice? Just because people liked the way Sana did it. I’m sure it wasn’t designed to be a “killing part.” You don’t need a "killing part" to win, or even a big part. The most important thing for you right now, Matthew, is for you to stop coming across like a greedy rude North American. As a fellow North American, I am telling you, bud. Rope it the fuck in. BPR-Noona has spoken.

In any case, both Matthew and TaeRae get the part, so we’ll have to see what ends up happening!

Then the trainees try out for the Killing Part, and both Ollie and Han Yujin get it. While I actually like both of them, I can’t help but root for Ollie to keep it in the end. He’s almost certainly not going to make the final lineup for Bepler, so I just want him to have this chance to shine on stage. But yeah that’s probably not going to happen -- no team would lower their chance of winning by choosing a trainee who barely survived over a Top9 trainee.

After that, we focus on Hanbin’s leadership. He starts off by telling them their goal for the day, which just sets my teacher heart on fire in the best way. Goals should always be specific and achievable. Yes, Hanbin, yes.

Notice (1) the way that the only two “global” members on the team end up on the edges, just kind of interesting and (2) the way that Matthew positions himself as if he is also a leader -- he’s the only one not looking at Hanbin. Already, I have a bad feeling about this.

Hanbin manages their expectations expertly, letting them know that the choreo is challenging without presenting it as scary, and then demonstrates the choreo once for them. (I love how Han Yujin immediately begins sort of dancing along as he watches in the mirror-- that kid really is kind of amazing.) Hanbin is a great leader, and Matthew is very, very envious of that. In an interview, when asked what he would rate Hanbin out of 100, he “jokes” that he “can’t give him a 100” and so gives him 90. The editors are still kind of on his side. They’re scoring his “jokes” with plinky-plunky comedy music.

Hey, hey, uh, Matthew? Matt? Hey. It's me, BPR-Noona again. Um, why? Why can’t you give him 100? Isn’t he your friend? Aren’t you hoping to debut together? Why even joke that you can’t give him 100? What’s that about? Is it because you don’t want to place yourself below him in any way? Could it be that? Because other people who are excellent leaders themselves are letting themselves be led in other groups, and aren’t being “joking” jerks about it, Matt. General Gunwook and Park Hanbin are both really excellent leaders, and they’re following Hui in their current group. I don’t know, Matt, but I don’t think that this is a good look, no matter how plinky-plunky the comedy music is.

Sigh.

Then there’s a hilarious bit in which Kim JiWoong openly admits that he’s never felt jealous of other trainees before, but he does now a little bit, because they so naturally suit the concept of the song in a way he doesn’t quite. Then he says that normally he just looks at himself in the mirror while he dances and enjoys his time that way. OMG.

See, JiWoong can make jealousy seem just fine because he’s honest about it. And just so fucking weird. I love this weirdo.

Ok, then there’s this long scene that I don’t want to get too bogged down with, but basically, there’s trouble brewing between old friends Sung Hanbin and Seok Matthew.

While Hanbin is off in the bathroom (I assume), Matthew begins “teaching” some of the others the dance -- Takuto, Seo Won, and Ollie. Now, I don’t think it would hurt anything for someone to run through stuff with Takuto one on one, but I’ve never thought of either Seo Won or Ollie as people who need extra guidance when it comes to dancing -- particularly not Ollie, who actually basically taught his own team the dance in the first Challenge Mission.

It’s pretty interesting how, when Hanbin comes back in, he doesn’t flip out and immediately make them stop. He watches for a bit and thinks before he acts, which, again, is a sign of a great leader. He knows there’s something a little off, but he waits. He’s also polite about it in his interview, saying, “I am grateful that he [Matthew] wants to help, but my style is to have people learn the overall flow and image of the choreo before moving on to the details.” I wholeheartedly agree with that. Again, it’s that thing of how we normally build the frame of the jigsaw puzzle first, right? Hanbin also seems to say that some of the details might even change, or perhaps that Matthew is teaching them incorrectly --? Either way, Matthew isn’t helping here.

Then Matthew full on asks Hanbin if he can be “sub-leader,” and though Hanbin doesn’t think it’s a good idea, he says yes. Dude, I think that’s something that maybe you talk about as a team. Like, “Hey, guys, let’s get into one of those awkward semi-circles and let’s talk about whether or not you want Matthew to be the sub-leader of the team.” But I guess Hanbin doesn’t want to devote the time to that, or was worried it would create division or strife, so he just says yes. Ennnhhhh I don’t like it….

We don’t see any footage of the team performing at the trainee self-eval, interestingly enough.

So, we’ll have to watch to find out

which trainees are going to get kicked out of the team (a lot of them!)

what will happen between JiWoong and Matthew

what will happen between Hanbin and Matthew and

what will happen between Matthew and TaeRae with the subvocal one!

40:14 Over Me

Here are the trainees, again arranged in order of rank in episode 6 so you have a sense of who is least likely to survive, with their previous song listed to help jog your memory. All these trainees preferred Over Me except for Ma Jing Xiang, who asked the viewers to give him Say My Name. However, I think the audience might have just voted for him to Over Me anyway -- it’s not impossible.

Zhang Hao Tomboy Keita Zoom Jay Home Ricky Rush Hour Yoon Jong Woo Home Wang Zi Hao Law Chen Kuan Jui Butterfly Ma Jing Xiang Rush Hour Lee Jeong Hyeon Gang Lim Jun Seo Butterfly

The team starts off by trying to choose a leader, and it seems that some of them are reluctant to volunteer. Zhang Hao says that everyone should just take a moment to think about whether they want such a big responsibility, and then Yoon Jong Woo steps up. Almost immediately, the whole team says an enthusiastic yes. Jay says that JongWoo has cold eyes like a tiger but behind that he’s a genius. Heh. Everyone’s excited because they think that being on a team with JongWoo will give the team a good vibe.

Almost all of them want the killing part -- everyone but Jay, Lim Jun Seo, and JongWoo himself.

We see their auditions and are reminded again how great Keita’s and Hao’s vocals are. In the vote, Keita gets 4 votes and Hao gets 5. It’s noteworthy that Hao is the only one who didn’t vote for Keita or himself -- I think he voted for Ricky, but it might have been Chen Kuan Jui? It’s not clear from where his finger is pointing. But if Hao had voted for Keita, the way that Keita voted for Hao, it would have been a tie. Did Hao purposefully not vote for Keita in order to win? Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Side note: I’m kind of surprised that Keita didn’t volunteer to be leader. This seems right up his ally. But maybe he’s kind of exhausted after working so hard on Zoom. Or maybe he knows that the show will punish his team if he’s the leader. But when he’s not the leader, Keita becomes an excellent teammate instead. Just watch the way that he reacts to EVERYTHING here. He grins broadly at the idea of JongWoo being the leader, and even puts his fist in the air to cheer for the team. He laughs with genuine good humor when almost all the teammates apply for the killing part. Later, he grooves to everyone else’s singing. He’s a fan of every other member of his team. That’s the kind of teammate people want to be around. Just sayin’.

After that, the team moves forward with part distribution, and there’s an uncomfortable moment in which Ma Jing Xiang tries to ask for a section of a part that is in his vocal range. It’s also edited horrifically, with TRIPLE replays of MJX’s incorrect Korean. Yoon Jong Woo shuts him down extremely thoroughly. Then we also focus on how MJX continues dancing even when Jong Woo calls the team over to circle up. You get the feeling that Jong Woo genuinely dislikes MJX, and it’s a little uncomfortable because all or most of the team feels the same way.

Like, Yoon Jong Woo is not fucking around. Not one bit. I get it, because MJX seems like a pretty irritating person to be around sometimes, but it might be a bit… much.

The other storyline is that Lee Jeong Hyeon (that’s Lee of the Mun and Lee duo) thinks that there’s a spot in the song that he could write a rap for. His teammates support him in that. The next day, they go to the producers and Lee gets to do the rap he wrote in less than a day for them. The editing here gets REALLY annoying for a bit so feel free to skip ahead if you want -- the upshot is the producers say they like it and will consider it, so that seems like a win for Lee!

So we’ll have to find out:

Which teammates they’re going to kick out

Who will get to keep the Killing Part between Keita and Hao

Whether Lee Jeong Hyeon will get to do his rap

50:01 Switch

Here are the trainees, again arranged in order of rank in episode 6 so you have a sense of who is least likely to survive. A lot of these trainees had bene hoping for a different song, as listed in the second column. I’ve also listed their previous song to help jog your memory.

Zhang Shuai Bo Switch Feel Special Na Kamden Switch Law Cai Jin Xin Switch Feel Special Anthonny Say My Name Limousine Brian Say My Name Butterfly Dang Hong Hai Switch Home Wumuti Switch Zoom Krystian Switch Limousine Jung I Chan Over Me Not Spring Choi Woo Jin Switch Man in Love Lee Dong Gun Over Me Feel Special

So, this team, as leader Wumuti put it, is “nomu down.” (nomu = very) And with good reason -- their average final rank is 38, and as it happens, only a very small percentage of this team is going to survive.

Wumuti is doing his best, but his team knows that most of them aren’t going to make it through the eliminations, and it seems kind of like a waste of time to them to try. The sense I get of the vibe of the song is that they would be good choices even if other people DID want the parts.

Because no one else wants the killing part, Na Kamden and Wumuti take it. Wumuti is hoping that as they continue, that they’ll “find joy.”

For some reason, as I was watching this, I found myself thinking, “What would I say as the leader of this team, to get them to try?” And I think what I would have said is this: “Hey team. I know a lot of us are discouraged right now because the reality is that many of us, myself included, may get eliminated soon. But I still really want to try my best preparing for this song. So, let’s brainstorm reasons that we should still try our hardest, despite the circumstances. I’ll get us started by pointing out the cameras that are recording us, right now. Everything we’re doing right now? The Star Creators may see that in an upcoming episode. Some of them are Star Creators who may have voted for us in the past, or might become fans of us in the future, when we’re on a different stage. Don’t we want to do our best, for them?” Then maybe based on the vibe, I’d have us go around and each give our own reason for wanting to try our best, or else just let people say things, or if necessary, give more reasons myself, like “We want to be kpop performers or we wouldn’t be here -- don’t we want to practice just for the sake of improving?” You have to get a buy-in from the people you’re trying to lead.

Me saying this isn’t knocking Wumuti. I think he was doing a fantastic job, especially considering his quite low rank.

Anyway, then the show spends like 3 minutes just shitting on Jung I-Chan, who obviously could work a bit on his focus (I really do wonder if he might have something in the vicinity of ADD?) and who is obviously feeling super defeated. He never has been much of a dancer, so him having trouble with the choreo is probably just too much. At some point, his self-defense mechanisms would kick in and tell him to just give up because it’s safer. I just don’t think the guy is cut out for this stuff, but that doesn’t make him a bad person, MNET. Jeez. He even tells Wumuti, “I want to work hard, but I’m scared to work hard. It’s over.”

And the show just HAMMERS on I-chan, even though Lee Donggun is just as “lazy.” It’s like MNET is trying to destroy this kid who obviously has some mental health issues.

It makes perfect sense that Kamden, Brian, and Dang Hong Hai would keep trying, but I was a little surprised to see how hard Krystian keeps trying, though! I thought he was pretty much OVER the show. Maybe it’s just sort of in his nature to keep singing and dancing when he has the chance to do so.

At the trainee self eval, they actually look pretty cool.

I totally understand why Wumuti is irritated with I-Chan, though. I would be too, in his shoes. There’s no easy way through a situation like this.

We see him in the dorm later, wearing his official pink pajamas, and talking to someone who I can’t really see but might be Na Kamden. I don’t think we’ve ever spent this much time with Wumuti, ever. He’s such a sweetheart, though.

At their meeting with the composer oversees -- at which they seem to communicate mostly in English -- Wumuti has a lot of ideas, and the composer seems to really enjoy the conversation. The choreographers are also impressed at their dance rehearsal. These are the kinds of things that people remember, my friends. It’s not just about how many audience members like you -- it’s also great if producers and choreographers and staff like you. That is how sometimes you can get gigs.

So I console myself that even though most of this team doesn’t survive to perform the song -- and yes, that includes Wumuti, I don’t think that’s much of a surprise and I did warn you that there would be some mild spoilers -- I think that good things can still happen for them in the future.

Hey, go follow Wumuti on insta, ok? Even if you don’t use insta much, it just helps him to keep his numbers up. He has a nice cover up of UN Village, and a long note he wrote in English about his time on the show. Fighting, Wumuti, sweetie!

So, I guess the questions to be answered are:

Who among this team will survive?

What will it be like for the replacement team members to jump into this work in progress?

1:00:00 Supercharger

So, not a lot of trainees wanted Supercharger. Among those who asked for it, all of them got it. A lot of the rest wanted the super cheerful “Say My Name” or the sexy “Over Me,” and this song is neither cheerful nor sexy. It’s easily my least favorite of the five, and I think that’s how most of the trainees felt as well. Below I list the trainees assigned to this song, the song they asked for, and their previous song.

Haruto Supercharger Zoom Mun Jung Hyun Say My Name Gang Jung Min Gyu Over Me Man in Love Chen Jian Yu Supercharger Gang Park Ji Hoo Supercharger Limousine Cong Supercharger Butterfly Bak Do Ha Over Me Not Spring Lee Da Eul Say My Name Not Spring Lee Dong Yeol Over Me Man in Love Park Hyunbeen Say My Name Zoom

We don’t seem them pick a leader -- it’s Lee Dongyeol -- or the killing part -- they give it to Haruto and Park JiHoo, good call. Instead, we pick up with the trainees as they are watching the demo performance on their tablet. The choreo is difficult to say the least. The song still requires a lot of tweaks to the rap, performance, and choreo, and most of the team doesn’t really have the skill. They have Haruto, who can probably choreograph, and Park Ji Hoo, who can definitely write raps, plus I think Mun Jung Hyun and Park Hyunbeen are both into rapping and might be able to help a bit. Lee Dong Yeol debuted with Up10tion in 2015 and must have learned something about performance by now. But the rest of them, as Dong Yeol puts it, “aren’t there yet.”

They seem to be putting on a happy face as much as possible, especially Hyunbeen, who probably doesn’t want to be remembered for how much he cried at the first elimination.

They talk about how they want to put on a good performance, and my theory is that what they mean is, they want to put on a good performance at the trainee self-eval. That’s the performance that they know is guaranteed to them, right? And they want to do really well there.

If you operate under that theory, everything else they’re doing makes sense. They’re not dwelling on their low ranks. They are instead working really, really hard. Haruto is the dance captain, leading the rest -- Jung Min Gyu (red house) calls him “Haruto-sensai,” which is pretty adorable.

They are trying so, so hard. The dance is probably the hardest of the five and the average dance abilities of this group is probably the lowest of the five, but goddamn if they aren’t trying, you guys, and it’s charming. Haruto is complimenting them, and they’re saying “This is fun!” and stuff.

The other teams go back to the dorms to sleep….

… but all ten of them stay and keep practicing. Even back in their dorms, they’re continuing to practice in the hallways and their rooms. Trainees from the other teams notice and cheer them on.

At the trainee self eval, though, things go off the rail pretty fast. No one really sings, and they sort of lose their place in the choreo a few times. I think they rehearsed in a big group of tne, looking into the mirror the whole time, and didn’t work enough on performing as a group of five and singing along, without a mirror. They keep trying to pick it back up, but it’s a mess.

The other trainees are looking at them like this:

Kum Jun Hyeon says to a friend, “Wow, the choreo must just be THAT hard” -- that’s such a sweetly empathetic thing to say, cousin. Park Hanbin is doing that thing he does where he smiles because he’s shocked. Hui is squinting at them, as if trying to imagine how he could fix it somehow. And Lee Yedam is just like, a full body Aigoo. Things don’t go better for the second team.

It’s just heartbreaking. Afterward, Haruto is crying from embarrassment, and a few of the others are near tears too. The choreo is just too fucking hard for them. They probably should have focused on simplifying it a little, and maybe building in some rest periods, where a few dance a few don’t and then they switch.

When they get the trainee evaluation forms, the feedback is brutal. But Park Hyunbeen says that this isn’t the worst. “The worst,” he says, “Was when I wore that vest for the Hot Sauce hidden camera.” Then he adds, “I was born to do Super Charger. I went on Boys Planet to perform that song and I don’t ever want to go home. I’ll make sure to survive and perform SuperCharger.” If only the show aired some of this footage before the voting period was over, lovey, but at least we see some of your mettle now. You’re a charming guy, Park Hyunbeen. Fighting!

So the questions that remain are:

Which trainees, if any, will survive?

Which trainees will end up joining this team?

What will happen when they join -- will anyone be able to dance this choreo?

After that, there’s this bit where Seo Won and Cha Woongki go around and are silly with the other trainees -- the Planet Camp Tour -- and it’s cute, but I don’t have a lot to say about it.

I still think Ollie was dumb to jam his finger into the camera and say that it smells bad. But he doesn’t know about my theory about bad smells on reality shows. Basically, something I’ve noticed is that on audience-vote-based reality survival shows, like So You Think You Can Dance, if someone on the show is revealed to smell bad at some point, they nearly ALWAYS go home the following week. Like once on SYTYCD, one of the dancers was complaining cheerfully that her dance partner had awful Doritos breath. Gone the next week. Another time, one of the dancers was joking about how awful he smelled at the end of a day of dance practice. Gone the next week. It doesn’t happen on shows where the judges decide, like RPDR or ANTM, but it happens whenever there’s an audience vote. Seriously, watch for it from now on. Let me know if you have another data point to add to my research on this.

Anyway, the final moments we see before the eliminations start are all the trainees in their dorms probably the night before. We see a conversation between Hui and Kim Gyuvin, who worked together on Love Me Right and are together again on En Garde. It’s cute because Gyuvin doesn’t really fit on the bed.

Gyuvin is worrying not about this elimination, but about the final one. It’s far more likely, he reasons, that he’ll be one of the 89 who don’t get into Bepler than to be one of the 9 who do. Hui is worried too. “If I were a Star Creator,” he says, “would I vote for an idol in his 30s? Even I wouldn’t do that.” Oh Hui. Then why did you come on the show, sweetheart? Why on god’s green earth did you do this to yourself?

We see Wumuti talking to his friend again -- it has to be Na Kamden, but I still can’t get a look at his face or get any other clue. “ ‘Give up,’ “ he says. “I used to say those words to myself once in a while. But I can’t seem to. I want it so badly.” Oh, twist that knife, MNET.

Then we check in with Ji Yunseo and and Lee Yedam, who are with a friend in a mask who I can’t identify. The fucking subtiles say that Lee Yedam is Oh Sungmin, and I mean, omg, MNET, Sungmin has blonde hair right now, what the actual fuck.

Then we check in Cha Woongki for a while, while he calmly but sadly talks about how he’s not really that popular and even expected to come in last in Feel Special. Now they’re not just twisting the knife; they’ve attached it to a power drill and are just spinning that thing at like 200 rpm.

Then there’s a bit with the boys all writing final messages on the wall about their time on the show. It’s as sad as you’d think it would be. A lot of the notes are addressed to the star creators. I hope that the boys are at least happy to know that people did vote for them, even if they didn’t win. Every single one of them got hundreds of thousands of votes. That must mean something, right? I do a creative performance thing myself, and I recently was eliminated in the second round of something, but people came up to me afterward and said that they voted for me and thought I was the best and were sad I’d been knocked out, and that meant a lot.

And then the eliminations start.

Alright, loves! Thanks for reading! At this point, episode 9 is out and I haven’t even watched it yet, so I guess I’ll get on that. As always, I really appreciate the support -- some of you have sent in asks that I really loved and just haven’t responded to yet because I have the thoughts in my head and haven’t had a chance to type them. You guys are great. Hope that you’re having a good day and that you’re warm and cozy wherever you are. See you in the next one.

#boys planet #Cha Woongki #Wumuti #Park Hyunbeen #Hiroto

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wjsns · 2 years ago

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and u know what im ready to make my full statement on MENG MEI QI too. the situation is so crazy to me, basically now in 2023 some ujung wont even type out her name because 1. cheating scandal (WHERE SHE WAS THE 3RD PARTY, WASNT EVEN THE PERSON TO CHEAT ON SOMEONE) and 2. doesnt mention wjsn ever and to me that is literally HILARIOUS like, god its just soooo funny to watch everyone pile in with the loudest most popular opinion and not do personal critical thinking, or hey, maybe they did and what mmq did really WAS too much for them to still support her but in that case i raise an eyebrow because idk… a lottt of yall are the same people who will get online and write about loving evil women and letting girls be shitty etc etc and she literally gives you what you asked for on a silver PLATTER, like doing nothing cancellable just giving us a good wholesome woman being evil and selfish and obsessed w herself and everyone turns on her!!!! sorry shes not fucking chuu lmao!? (ilu chuu no hate but there is space for good AND evil girls in my heart😇) im sorry im SO unbothered by her being the other woman in a cheating scandal like i cant imagine something mattering less to me and it actually made me super happy to confirm she fucks even tho the guy was ugly😇 but i said kinda most of this already so SECOND OF ALL about her not mentioning wjsn and shit… another thing i literally have NO problem with?? again, like…… no one was more distraught than me at what happened to ot13 but these are REAL PEOOLEEEEEEEEEE?!????!??? i’ve said this before too but i think its worth mentioning, i think my perspective on WJSN has always been a certain way because i grew up playing soccer on a team of the same ~18 girls for over 8 years and im very familiar with, idk, “team dynamics” in groups of girls growing up together? so i understand what its like to be in a larger group dedicated towards this ultimate, performance based goal together and while not everyone out of those 18 girls is one-to-one best friends and lots of people have pretty significant differences, none of that matters “on the field” or when you’re “working”, and its actually lowkey beautiful hiw such different people can unite together to make their dream happen AND develop really long lasting strong relationships w each other when they would otherwise might not have. so ive never had illusions that wjsn as a group has this monolithic motivator or reason for being in wjsn or being an idol, they are all super different personalities and have different interest areas like acting, musicals, song production, MCing etc! so its really impossible for me to feel upset or bothered in any way when i hear complaints about mmq’s behavior in this area because im like ? she obviously has/had this solo career (that i have to believe she had way more control and stylistic direction over than with wjsn) in her home country where she gets to embrace her personal style and concepts instead of matching wjsns, shes clearly separating from that past image and going in a different direction w her career! it does make me bummed that shes not getting 13 stars tattooed like xiao did but again what am i gonna do, be mad that this artist who i really care abt as a person is going off on their own path and direction? cujung is a ROCK of this fanbase its not like a mmq wjsn mention is going to create millions more ujung and album sales? just never added up to me, IM not gonna feel some type of way about it because stan twit fucking tells me to, like how it feels a lot of ujungs react to everything! that one thing going around that was like “wjsn are coworkers not friends” was sooooo funny for me to watch ujung actually get mad about because like,,, they ARE coworkers? AND FRIENDS?! there are 13 of them? each person has a unique individual and complex relationship with each other person? ah idk why i even bother with these essays the avg kpop stans iq is literally 65 yall love being spoonfed parasocial relationships simulated for ur consumption so much u completely block out the fact they are real people

#and a lot of people who have the most to say about it like literally dont go outside and have lives and group activities to be a part of so #sorry if im being haterish but like they started it #getting mad at what mmq says and doesnt say about her old job and who she fucks is giving incel its giving i like to control women #giving the type of people who freak out and kts over their idol reading a feminist book or dating someone #sorry women are autonomous beings not morally perfect objects u can glorifyingly put on a pedestal and tear down just as maliciously when #something they did doesnt add up to this unrealistic un-human image u created of them #i honestly think some of u get more out of tearing at and hating someone than u did supporting them its like fun for u to sit behind a scree #and judge their lives meanwhile havent washed ur greasy ass hair in days and when was the last time u called ur grandmother? what the longes #lasting friendship you’ve ever been able to maintain? huh???#damn i cant find out how to do a read more on mobile sorryyyyyyyyyy #long post #ANYWAYS *pulls out comfort photos of teen mmq smoking cigs*

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jeogiyall · 4 years ago

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Two To Tango; C.SN

❥𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟷𝟾.𝟺𝑘

❥𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥 (𝗂𝗍'𝗌 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝗑𝗎𝖺𝗅 𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇), 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗅𝗈𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾, 𝘴𝘢𝘯'𝘴 𝘥𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝗂𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖺 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀; 𝕚𝕕𝕠𝕝𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕖, 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠 (𝙖𝙧𝙞’𝙨 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚!)

❥𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝗌𝖺𝗇 𝕩 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳! 𝗒/𝗇 (ʏ/ɴ ɪs ɪɴ ᴀ ɢɪʀʟ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘ)

❥𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨: 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝖺 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍 (𝗐𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍!); 𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝖼 𝗋𝖾𝗏𝗈𝗅𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝗌𝗎𝖺𝗅/𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕪 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾𝗌 𝗌𝗂𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗒 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝖼𝗋𝗂𝗉𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀. 𝗂'𝖽 𝗋𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗌 𝐩𝐠𝟷𝟹 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝖿𝖾- 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇, 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝐧𝗼𝐭 𝐬𝗺𝐮𝐭!!

❥𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝖼 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗇𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝖿𝗎𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾! 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒 𝗂𝗍 𝖺𝗌 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗌 𝗂 𝖽𝗈 ☺︎☻ -𝕒𝕣𝕚

“What do you think, Y/N?”

You had never seen choreo anything like this before.

Which was a fairly bold statement on your part, seeing as you'd had plenty of exposure to all kinds of dances. Being the lead dancer of your group, you'd trained in almost every category out there during your years in the academy, mastering each technique and style one by one.

But sensual?

You'd never been trained to dance to sensual choreography.

This was likely the reason you appeared so floored when Mimi, your company's head of collaborative marketing (and your personal manager) shared her latest idea with you, something about a duet dance with another idol; she said that bringing such a foreign concept into a collaboration stage would give your group the increase of attention that you so desperately needed.

You couldn't disagree with her logic. It was much harder than it seemed for a group to stay afloat in the idol industry.

"Y/N," Mimi was explaining to you, "I know I speak on behalf of the entire company when I tell you that you are the most talented dancer to walk through these doors. If anyone can pull off this stage, it's you."

You felt your cheeks flush from the professional compliment, but you were still trying to wrap your mind around the brief choreography video you'd just been shown.

You absolutely loved to dance; you always have, ever since you were old enough to walk.

From ballet classes when you were four years old to jazz and tap in your tweens, then modern hip hop and interpretive in your adolescent years, and then from a dance major onwards to learning choreography with your group after debuting a year ago- you were always dancing. It was a piece of your life that held so much meaning, so much joy, that you don't think you'd ever be able to live without it.

So maybe this is why you decide to ditch your initial disbelief at the proposal, your mind opening up a little to the idea. After all, the worst thing that could happen would be a failed stage, and you're sure that the company wouldn't have too much trouble sweeping things under the rug if that happened. How bad could it be, right?

You eventually give in to Mimi's attempts at persuading you, your face breaking out into a grin. You're sure that if you say yes, you'll wonder for the next two weeks who your partner will be from the group you're collaborating with; but you also know that it'll kill you inside to say no.

You nod firmly once Mimi asks you again if you're okay with this. You've made up your mind that you definitely are; you push off any lingering doubts about the sensual stage, and the feelings left behind are ones of excitement and anticipation.

Mimi is visibly pleased, and her happiness is infectious as she claps her hands together joyfully. "It's settled then! I'll let the team from KQ know that both parties are in agreement." She announces with a broad smile.

When you leave the conference room, you feel butterflies in your stomach instead of dread, and a sudden eagerness arises at the prospect of learning a brand-new type of dance.

You can't wait to see what will happen in two weeks.

Day One- 8:53 A.M

You step into your new joint studio building two weeks later, a bright smile on your face and your first-day jitters pushed to the back of your mind.

You're beyond curious to see which member of Ateez you'll be paired with for the collaboration; you secretly hoped it would be Song Mingi, as he was alluring to you both through dance and through his abnormally deep voice. (Okay, so maybe you had a bias already. There was surely no harm in that though, right?)

Mimi was now urging you to make your way up the three flights of stairs as fast as possible, having ditched the building's elevator in favor of a quicker route. There had been a mixup at your company that morning with transportation, which made you more than twenty minutes late- you were supposed to arrive at 8:30.

You could only pray that the hired choreographer wouldn't hold it against you, and that they'd still give you time to properly warm up.

Your nerves are starting to resurface when you push open the doors to your practice room. Both of the occupants have their backs to you, bending over a stereo system along the wall without a mirror. Your manager bids you a hasty goodbye and exits the same way you just came, and you're struggling to catch your breath, standing in the middle of the room gripping the strap of your dance bag for dear life.

The choreographer leaves the stereo to greet you, giving you a warm smile as he introduces himself.

You've looked forward to meeting your instructor for a while now, and you bow to the man respectfully while doing your best to repress the childish glee bubbling up within you, not wanting to seem unprofessional.

Your thoughts are so consumed with greeting the choreographer that you fail to notice the other figure in the room turning to face you.

"Hello, Y/N, it's a pleasure to finally meet you!" The choreographer says. "My name is Jung Deojun, and I look forward to working with you for this stage." You set your bag down and grab an elastic for your hair, still focused on Deojun. "The pleasure is all mine," you respond, "I truly admire your work."

Jung Deojun is happy to hear the compliment, and you're opening your mouth to ask him about his most popular moves when you finally, finally come face-to-face with your new partner.

To say he was handsome would be the understatement of the year.

While you obviously hadn't been paired with who you'd hoped for, (Mingi, the tall rapper) you weren't upset in the slightest. The dancer was standing to the side with his arms crossed over his chest, and the sight was enough to make you want to wipe your hand along your chin just to check if you were drooling.

Any words you'd been preparing to say died on the tip of your tongue as you surveyed your partner. Tall, lean, and stupidly gorgeous, he radiated an aura of confidence and striking intensity that both scared you and intrigued you. His shirt dipped low enough to make your heart skip a beat, and it looked too good on him for him to be standing there in the studio.

His eyes were dark and seemed to pierce straight into your soul- though you had to wonder just how well he was able to see you from behind his long black hair.

He was, without question, the most beautiful man you'd ever seen. But why the hell did he look so pissed?

You gulp down your wave of apprehension and stick out your hand towards him, waiting for him to take it (seeing as that would be the polite thing to do).

"Hello, I'm Y/N of Star Entertainment." You manage to stumble through your self-introduction despite his less than encouraging reaction. He makes no move to shake your outstretched hand, so you awkwardly pull it back and continue talking, "I look forward to dancing with y-"

"You're late."

You hope you don't look as much like a fish as you feel; his monotonous interruption has your mouth opening and closing repeatedly as you try to remember what you'd been about to say.

"I'm sorry," you eventually gather your thoughts long enough to respond. "There was a mixup with transportation from my company, and my manager ended up having to take me herself-"

"I don't care what happened, just don't be late again. It's rude." The guy cuts you off again, visibly impatient. You hold back a scoff at his words; he's definitely one to be talking about rude.

"The name's Choi San." He adds, but he sounds almost bored, as if he'd rather be anywhere else but with you at this very moment.

You don't deem any answer necessary. You hardly trust yourself not to make a jab back at him, but can you be blamed?

You're more than a little peeved that your partner, the man you've been wanting to meet for two very long weeks, seems to have a giant stick up his ass; but you reason out that it's got something to do with the first-day nerves you're sure must be racing through him, too.

At least, that's what you tell yourself as you begin warming up, walking away from the entrance and hoping to escape the rising tension.

Meanwhile San is cursing every dance god out there for sticking him with you. Not because he despises dancing with other people or because he doesn't want to dance with you- but because he's the exact opposite.

He loves dancing with his entire being, and he expected his new partner to love it just as much as he did.

So it was fairly annoying for him to arrive thirty minutes early that morning, excited and eager to get to dancing, and then have to wait nearly another half an hour after the first day was scheduled to begin just for you to get there.

That being said, San almost regrets snapping at you- it wasn't your fault you weren't on time.

But when he catches a glimpse of your pinched, offended expression through the mirror while you take your sweet time warming up, the idea of apologizing immediately flees his head.

He couldn't believe how many prissy dancers there were in the kpop industry- and he was certain that you would just be one more he'd have to work with.

So far, things were not off to a very promising start.

Day Four- 10:15 A.M

"Guys, I think you need to take a quick break." Jung Deojun says as he presses pause on the stereo.

You're more than happy to do so, jumping out of San's grasp so quickly you're concerned you may have pulled a muscle. San has no complaints about the break either; he springs away from you as if you have a contagious disease, and he's intent on not catching whatever disease that may be.

The first day hadn't gone nearly as well as you'd hoped it would. After the initial shock and irritation upon meeting him, you gave San as little attention as you could, and he did the same to you.

Or he tried to do the same.

You both seemed to have forgotten the key concept of the entire dance: sensuality.

And although it was only the first day, the cold and tense atmosphere between the two of you did nothing but increase throughout your time together in the studio- a factor that didn't settle well with your choreographer when you were meant to be dancing as if you were madly in love.

By the end of the second day, you were positive you and San were only ever meant to be enemies. It was like every move he made was done specifically to annoy you, and you had to admit that if that was the case, then it was working like a charm.

The way he spoke to you- when he bothered to speak at all- was so insensitive and cocky that you wanted to clock him in the face. He never cheered you on when you got another step down; all he'd said to you during the past forty-eight hours was backhanded comments on the technique you should have, or how you should move to accommodate him better.

This wasn't how dance was supposed to be.

Two people were supposed to move in sync, in the same fluid motion when they danced together; but with him, it was all give and no take.

Of course, it didn't help that you went rigid as a board every time he so much as shifted towards you.

He wanted to get along with you at first, he really did. But you were making it so difficult to be friendly when you made zero effort to put any feeling into the dance moves that required him to touch you, that any hope he had of being your friend went flying out of the window.

He'd been ready to quit right then and there during your third day in the studio, when you outright refused to let him do the first truly sensual move of the choreography about forty seconds in. San would barely even be able to graze your sides with his fingertips before you jumped away, giving him a steely look that made him all the more eager to push your buttons.

He reasoned that if you were going to be such a priss about things, then there was no danger in him getting you all riled up while you practiced.

And as if you weren't already stressed out by his antics, you were also highly aware of the pressure that was on you guys to learn the dance by the end of the month- you had only five weeks to completely master the choreography for the collaboration stage and for the performance video.

You wished the song wasn't so long- there were six and a half total minutes of choreography, and you'd only gone through about two minutes of it all.

To make things worse, the steps you'd learned so far didn't look good by any means. Jung Deojun knew it would most likely take another week or two just to get to the halfway point, at the rate things were going now.

You knew that the clock was ticking; this morning marked your fourth day at the studio.

Deojun's goal was for you and San to get a feel for each move you learned as you learned it, which was why it had taken so long to memorize such a small chunk of the song.

His philosophy was that people can learn two ways: they can learn it all and perfect it later, or they can learn it all perfectly the first time with a little more effort. (It was very clear which way of learning you and your partner were going through based on how many times you'd pressed 'restart' on the stereo.)

You made sure you arrived on time each morning after that first day, not wanting another reason for San to pick on you. Currently, the two of you were tackling the first moderately sized snippet of the song, the buildup to the chorus. You'd been at it for around two hours today, and you didn't seem to be making any real progress.

There's a move where you and San need to glide across the floor and into each other's personal space, and he's supposed to trail his hands slowly up along your sides to cradle your head. Your step is to push San away from you and then grab him by the collar to bring him right back until you were practically breathing the same air; and while the pushing away part was the easiest thing you'd learned so far, tugging him towards you again was proving to be difficult to do without scowling.

That same scowl threatens to appear after another hour of practice when San tosses you a Snickers bar from his bag, and you look down at it accusingly without picking it up from the floor.

"This isn't exactly part of my company's diet regulations, San." You huff, knowing you'd like nothing more than to eat the candy bar right this very second but remembering you can't eat anything if it isn't on your meal plan.

San just raises an eyebrow and motions for you to pick it up anyways. "I thought you'd want it. I mean, you're not you when you're hungry, so maybe if you had a Snickers bar then you'd be more fun to work with."

You don't bother hiding your lethal expression from him.

"Choi San," you hiss, "I swear once we finish doing this dance I'm actually going to strangle you."

Your choreographer chooses to break up the conversation at this moment, not hearing the whispered reply of 'kinky' that makes your blood boil.

"Alright you two, that's enough," Jung Deojun cuts in. "You don't seem to be comfortable with each other yet, so why don't we all sit down and take some time to eat lunch? You've worked hard anyways, so you deserve to rest." He offers.

While the idea of actually sitting down to eat your salad, instead of inhaling it between sessions, sounds incredibly tempting, you know you'll be too busy fuming to really enjoy a lunch break.

You kick the Snickers bar back towards San and put on a bright smile for Deojun.

"No, thank you, I'd rather get back to practicing. We've got a long way to go." You give your partner another nasty look with your last statement, implying that he's most of the problem.

This implication doesn't go unnoticed by him, and he actually has the nerve to wink at you. To wink- as if he isn't the legitimate most infuriating human being on the planet. You ball your hands into fists to refrain from pulling at your hair in frustration.

San watches on in dry amusement; he never saw it coming, but he's quickly discovered that he loves to get a rise out of you. He chalks it up to the simple fact that you interact the most with him when you're angry.

Sensing the tension in the room, Deojun shakes his head and insists on taking a real break for lunch. He doesn't miss the exchange of killer glares between you and San, and it brings a frown to his face as you begin to argue with your partner over the offending Snickers bar.

Jung Deojun has taught many choreographies in his time as a dancer. He's quite honestly lost track of the number of pairs he's worked with who had no chemistry together, or the countless dancer duos who simply didn't warm up to the other person.

He has also seen his fair share of enemies on the dance floor- the exes, the competitors, and even one couple who broke up in the middle of a rehearsal.

And yet, despite all of this, he has never seen anyone who fights quite as passionately as you and San.

But rather than getting annoyed at your nearly constant bickering, he finds himself feeling curious about it; he wants to know why your animosity towards each other seems to run so deep when you'd only met three days ago.

And frankly, he wants to see just how thin the line is between love and hate.

Your instructor sighs loudly once your voice raises in volume, wanting to roll his eyes at the childish feud taking place over a piece of candy- though it seems the argument has gotten to the point of being ridiculously useless, and Deojun is sure that one of you is bound to give it up in the next few seconds.

Your accusations of San being a total jerk continue to fall on deaf ears as he quickly proves the choreographer correct, checking out of the argument altogether by pulling his phone out and playing on it.

San's rude behavior makes you want to stomp your foot angrily like a petulant toddler, but you don't.

You instead go silent, biting your lip and getting yourself together because you are a mature and professional dancer- unlike someone- and you're already very embarrassed that Deojun has seen how worked up you get over your partner.

So in an attempt to save face, you take a deep breath, count to ten, and walk to the mini refrigerator in the corner of the studio to grab your lunch.

Deojun seems relieved that the Snickers spat is over, and immediately invites you into a less irritating conversation as you take a seat on the floor beside him.

"So, Y/N, what do you do for fun besides dance?" He asks you. You have to think for a moment about that.

What do you do when you're not rehearsing or promoting?

"Well, I spend most of my time dancing, but I guess I like to hang out with my group between promotions." You eventually come up with an answer.

"What do you do with your friends when you're hanging out?" Your instructor prompts. You shrug and finish eating the forkful of salad before you reply, "We normally go out to the city together to walk around, listening to live music and visiting cute cafés or restaurants."

San nearly snorts at how typical your response is until you add as an afterthought, "But we never have time for those things anymore."

Jung Deojun asks you "why not?" and you tell him, "We practice nearly sixteen hours a day together, and when we aren't in our studio, we're in our dorms perfecting every dance movement or every song for our company. We can't afford to slip up with so much at stake, so we just kind of... I don't know, stopped going out."

San acts like he isn't listening; but in reality he's paying close attention to your words, and he tells himself it's only because he needs more ammunition to use in order to tease you later.

You continue to elaborate on your struggles as an idol to Deojun, and it feels good to be able to talk about the pressure being put on your shoulders with someone other than your managers.

"When I first started training to become an idol, I was always content to just dance for the sake of dancing. I wasn't used to the expectation that I had to be better than someone else; I honestly never thought the competition would happen off of the stage. It caught me off guard when I realized I'd have to fight for every chance to do what I love, and even after making it into an agency and debuting in a group, we're still always fighting to be on top, to be the best."

"And to me dance was never about being the best. It's about expressing something you feel, something so deep words can't explain it well enough." You shrug, and you miss the fond smile of your instructor as he remembers the days where he was in your shoes.

San lost interest in his phone a while ago; instead he now holds his lunchbag in his hands.

And when you turn your head to steal a glance at him, you find that he's giving you the first non-irritating look you've seen on his face since the day you met.

Well then.

You certainly hadn't expected to see that reaction- nor had San intended for you to catch it.

If he's being honest with himself, he never really thought he'd connect with you, especially after the disastrous first day together. But your words resonate deeply within him, to a point where he thinks that maybe, you might not be quite as uptight as you appear.

He finds himself hoping that that's the case; hoping that there's more to you than just a prissy lead dancer who refuses to loosen up.

It makes your stomach twist to see him look at you with anything other than annoyance or spite. If you didn't know any better, you would say that it almost seems like he's... impressed? Like he might not hate your guts after all?

But you'd be stupid to forget how intently you despised each other just a few minutes ago, how you bickered over that candy bar; and the sudden change in his demeanor has left your head spinning.

Whatever it is, you're not sure why it affects you as much as it does, so you ignore it and keep talking to Deojun so that you don't have to engage with San until you're done eating.

To make things even more confusing, once your lunch break is over and you begin to go through the choreo again, he isn't throwing his usual insults and criticisms your way like he had done every afternoon for the past week.

You're not sure what to make of the unspoken truce- and you're not sure why it unnerves you as much as it does. But San is acting totally opposite of how he's been acting so far, and it lasts through the remainder of your fourth day.

He doesn't even bother to give you a half-assed "you're too stiff" the way he normally would.

You have to force yourself not to think about how easily the routine flows when you aren't arguing; and you can't help but wonder whether this random, unofficial friendship will last- and if it does, then what changed?

But when the fourth day ends and you walk into the studio the following morning, he's back to wearing his cocky little smirk and teases you for the Starbucks frappuccino in your hand, telling you that it's fake coffee and reminding you of how against your meal plan the drink is.

You nearly cringe at yourself for thinking things would ever change between the two of you in such a short amount of time. But, if you're really being upfront, you can't pretend as though you don't look forward to pushing his buttons each day, getting immense satisfaction from knowing you get on his nerves just as much as he gets on yours.

Jung Deojun, on the other hand, is simply looking forward to the day you guys get through learning the steps so that he can sit back and watch the sparks flying through his studio.

Day Twelve- 4:55 P.M

Deojun is out using the restroom down the hallway at the end of your twelfth day, and it's just you and your partner standing together in the mirror while he's gone. You're intentionally avoiding San's piercing gaze as you stretch out your sore limbs, choosing to move towards the stereo so you can play the music one more time before the end of today's session.

He had been driving you crazy throughout this entire past week. It was the usual stuff at first: pointless arguing, name-calling, bickering, and insults flung at each other for no good reason.

And then, something shifted.

On the sixth day of choreo, you waltzed through the studio doors with a bright smile and your hair down out of your ponytail, looking a bit windblown. You'd woken up late that day but you were still determined not to be late to practice, so you didn't have time to put your hair up or grab your coffee.

It was the day when San noticed just how hard it had become for him to take his eyes off of you; but how could he not stare when you come twirling into the room like you've been dancing with the wind and looking as if you've just been kissed by the sun?

You'd caught him staring more times than you could count on that sixth day, and while it unnerved you a little, you couldn't deny the pleasurable rush you got from knowing he was looking.

But it did make things a little more tense when you had your pointless arguments; you weren't sure how to curse him out when he looked at you with that strange glint in his eye- the glint that made you question if you even really hated him in the first place.

The tension only skyrocketed after that. By the tenth day, the pressure between you and San was so strong that it was bound to explode any time now. A new side of your (already strained) relationship had developed- in addition to his irritating habits and your stinging insults, you now shared burning glances, soft touches, and the feeling of wanting just a little bit more.

The change wasn't entirely unwelcome, much to your dismay. You hadn't expected him to affect you the way that he did; but when you find that your skin sears instead of crawls when his hand brushes against you, you know that you can no longer ignore the magnetic pull between your bodies, the one you're secretly begging yourself to cave into each time he holds you close during the dance.

But just because you aren't able to ignore the pull towards San doesn't mean that you won't try.

You keep your back to him as you approach the equipment; but you can hear his footsteps right behind you when you walk to the other side of the studio, and you have a hunch that he won't go away without bothering you.

San follows you until you reach the sound system and you huff in annoyance before you turn around to face him.

"Shouldn't you be stretching right now, Fireboy?" You ask tiredly, hoping he'll get the point and stop closing in on your personal space.

You didn't intend to call him that- you've referred to him as Fireboy in your mind for a while now, the title fitting his disposition perfectly; one minute he was smoky as embers, and the next he was blazing with heat. Like an unpredictable wildfire.

He shakes his head and answers ironically, "Nope, I'm already all cooled down for the day, Miss Priss."

You go back to the stereo, thinking that the discussion is through, and you practically jump three feet in the air when he spins you around again, the hand gripping your waist not making you nearly as mad as you'd wanted it to.

You can't move backwards at all with the stereo poking into your spine, but you've got nowhere to run once San places his free hand on the wall next to you, successfully trapping you. You wish the action pissed you off enough to push him away- but your hands fall weakly against his chest, and the sudden contact makes your pulse race.

"San, what the hell are you doing?" You ask him, exasperation evident in your voice.

San flashes his stupid smirk and leans closer to your body, making your cheeks flush at the proximity. "I thought maybe we should try to get rid of some of the tension Deojun keeps talking about, since it's interfering with the dance. Don't you agree, Y/N?"

You sneer at him and shove his chest harder.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You reply sharply, "The dance is perfectly fine San, you're being ridiculous. We aren't even done learning the choreo yet, so have some patience." San's smirk only grows, along with your annoyance.

You eye him distastefully and give him a once-over before looking to the doorway, continuing to insult him despite the way his sleeveless shirt makes your heart flutter. "But something tells me that patience isn't really in your vocabulary, is it?"

And just like that, you find yourself holding back a noise of surprise when his hand grips your chin like a silken vice, forcing you to keep your gaze trained on him. You're helpless to his strong hold and the feeling of his body heat radiating against your skin is messing with your head, further supporting your idea that this man is a scorching ball of fire; even his touch is hot enough to burn.

You fight off a shudder when he refuses to break eye contact. The cocky grin is gone, replaced with some foreign expression that you don't think you want to put a label on just yet.

He dips his head down next to your ear. His next words, mixed with the way his hair tickles your face, manage to send sparks through your veins as he murmurs, "You know, princess, I wasn't expecting you to be so damn bratty."

You have to remind yourself that the sentence is, in fact, offensive- and that you should be getting mad at him for it right about now.

Thankfully that part always comes easy to you.

"Oh, so I'm the brat?" You retort sarcastically. You poke a finger into his chest and question him further, "I'm the bratty one for showing up late one time and getting shit about it from you before you even told me your name?"

San's grip tightens as you speak, but you're so focused on chewing him out that you hardly even register it.

"Please enlighten me as to how I'm the brat when it's always you who has a problem with something." At this point you've forgotten that you're only venting about him to distract yourself from his touch, and now you're just plain pissed off.

"Honestly, I thought you were at least a little bit brighter than this, Fireboy. Anyone with a brain would be able to tell that the only brat here is you, but you're so set on being 'holier-than-thou' every second of the day that you don't even bother to see it. You're such a child." Your words are positively scathing.

San has had enough of your sassy remarks and cuts your rant short, "Oh come on Y/N, you don't seriously believe I'm the only one to blame. You're not as innocent as you try to appear, Miss Priss; don't think I've forgotten the names you call me when you think Deojun isn't listening. You're as much at fault here as I am. As a matter of fact, I'd go as far as to say that the 'childish' one is you."

"And this is coming from the one who called me 'more useless than an appendix' not even twenty minutes ago, right?" You scoff.

He rolls his eyes at your quotation of his most recent insult and says, "Cut the crap and just admit it already."

But between the compromising position, the bite in his voice, and the sheer irritation coursing through your body, you're getting sick and tired of your partner's little mind games.

"What do you mean?" You ask, "Admit what? What're you playing at?"

"Admit that you're no different than any other self-absorbed, uptight lead dancer I've worked with, and you only hate me because you wanted to be paired with another idol." He answers, every syllable causing you to see red. "You're just a classic prissy princess who won't cooperate when you don't get your way, and you're refusing to do the dance right because I'm not the one you wanted to dance with. It's stereotypical lead dancer behavior, and you know it."

Oh.

Oh hell no.

Did he really just call you self-absorbed and prissy?

If you weren't already mad enough, then now you're practically seething. San knows purely by the look on your face that he's fucked up, that he's taken things a little too far- but both of you are too wound up right now for him to try and make amends.

It's all he can do to stay impassive when you shove his hand away from your chin and grab fistfuls of his shirt, roughly bringing him down to your level.

"Choi fucking San," You curse, "you take that back this minute, you piece of shit."

His eyes drop to your mouth- a mistake that has enough meaning to turn the tables in your favor in an instant.

It's a mistake, one simple mistake. Just one small moment of indulgence as he memorizes the curve of your lips; yet all sanity immediately vanishes from his mind at the sudden urge he has to kiss you senseless, to shut you up in the most romantic way possible.

He's fighting the urge so hard that he doesn't even think about the next four words out of his mouth- Mistake Number 2.

"And if I don't?"

Your knuckles are turning white from the grip on his collar; you come to the realization that maybe your heart is beating a bit too fast for someone who's arguing with a mere dance partner.

You end up making Mistake Number Three- you don't release your hold on his shirt, and you don't push him away when his head drifts closer down to yours.

Three strikes and you're out.

"Then I'm walking out of this room and never dancing with you again." You pray your voice sounds at least half as spiteful as it did at the beginning of all this, but you aren't sure.

San finally tears his gaze away from your lips and is back to giving you a blazing glare. Part of him hopes you can see the passion and desire burning behind his expression so that you'll understand he doesn't really mean it when he snaps, "Fine with me, princess."

It's the same part of him that secretly thrives off of the electric tension and the lingering hands; the side of him that wants to hold you just a little longer when the music stops.

He really hopes he isn't going crazy when he thinks he sees that side in you, too.

"Fine," You snap back halfheartedly as the fight goes out of you all at once, "have it your way."

You both know your words are empty.

Unlike San, you have been intentionally unaware of how your body reacts to your partner, constantly choosing to ignore the tugging in your gut when you go through the choreo with him.

You always did your best to diffuse the tension that crackles between you two every time you dance; but the more choreography you learn, the harder it is to keep acting as though you aren't drawn to San like a moth to a flame.

You can whine and argue and call him names all day (you already do). But under the loathsome looks and sharp words, you can't deny the underlying attraction you feel to him.

You try with all your might to remind yourself of how insufferable he can be, but it's no use; the anger drains out of you the second you notice how close San still is to you. Your hands are still attached to his shirt, his face is an inch from yours, and his arms are on either side of you, with the stereo still poking into your spine.

Even the thick atmosphere around the room seems to be holding its breath as you both stay put in this position, wondering who would make the first move.

You think you should probably get going; after all, you've just given him the dance ultimatum. Shouldn't you be hightailing it out of the studio and never looking back...

...but you never get to finish that thought.

Because the second that the thought crosses your mind, San is reaching up to take your face in his hand, his heated touch softer than you would've ever guessed it to be.

His fingers skim your cheek delicately, with all the grace of a musician playing his instrument; your eyes begin to flutter closed in expectation for what is about to happen, and you unknowingly lean into the palm of his hand, not putting up a fight.

But you wouldn't dare fight against what's surely happening now- not after having the image of it plague your nights for weeks on end.

He's closer than he's ever been. He doesn't stop; he comes closer, and closer, and closer...

And then, your rotten luck seems to remember it's purpose in your life.

Jumping back in to ruin the moment, it causes your elbow to bump against the stereo and the music comes on at top volume, shattering your eardrums. It's all that the moment needed to come to a screeching halt before disappearing completely.

You wince at the sudden noise and release your grasp on San's shirt, pushing him away from you to tend to the sound system. You quickly turn the music off and put a hand over your racing heart.

San feels like he's rooted in his place, and he can't erase the image in his head of what was about to happen.

He can't shake the way you so easily leaned into his touch; the way he knew he was definitely going to kiss you, and how you were definitely going to let him. He nearly shouts when you break contact to shut the stereo up, leaving him high and dry, waiting for a fire that is no longer burning.

The clock on the wall snaps both of you back into reality, chiming to signal the end of your twelfth day- and for the first time since all of this began, you're reluctant to leave the studio.

What now?

You give San an uneasy look, an awkward smile tugging at your lips. "I, um, I guess I'll be going now." You tell him.

You're expecting him to shoo you off, to comment about how you insisted you weren't coming back once you left today; but he can't bring himself to tease you when he's still feeling so vulnerable.

The idea of insulting you is suddenly unappealing when he realizes that he would much rather be kissing you.

"Yeah, me too." He replies simply; and that's all there is to it. There's no more bickering, no more teasing or conversation once he bids you goodbye.

You stumble over your words like a runner over a hurdle. "See you tomorrow, Fireboy."

You're the first to leave the room, grabbing your bag and making a beeline for the exit. You have no idea what just went down, but you have a sneaking suspicion that things will be much, much different by this time tomorrow.

Meanwhile San is still glued to where he stood next to the stereo, cursing himself for letting you leave without doing what he's wanted to do since the day you argued over the Snickers.

Day Sixteen- 8:35 AM

On the morning of your thirteenth day of practice, Jung Deojun thinks the world must've flipped on its axis in the middle of the night.

It's the only scenario he can come up with to explain why you and San no longer act like you want to slit each other's throats when you walk into the building together, the tension pulsing between you and him having shifted without any notice or warning.

He doesn't expect the truce to last long; but you prove him wrong when three days pass in relative peace, and when you and your partner enter the studio on the sixteenth day, Deojun knows something must have happened.

However, the choreographer thinks it would be too unprofessional to pry, so he decides to pretend that his pupils have been friends all along.

"Good morning you two, did you sleep well?" Deojun greets you both with a wary grin. You nod wordlessly, and he says, "I hope so, because we're finishing up the last few moves of the choreo today. I grabbed some extra waters and snacks to carry us through, but I've informed your managers that we might stay late at the studio tonight. Are you guys opposed to that at all?"

He intentionally leaves out the fact that your manager, Mimi, had chewed him out about working you too hard for almost an hour over the phone when he asked.

You and San share an apprehensive look, but you shake your heads anyways, knowing you'd both rather stay late and finish the choreography as soon as possible.

"Great. Let's get started."

By the time you walk through the very last step of the dance, the clock on the wall reads 7:15 in the evening.

It was the longest day you'd had; though it seemed to you as if the hours passed at lightning speed- and you were pretty confident you knew why.

It was because you'd finally stopped holding yourself back when you danced, and neither you nor San could get enough of the new passion that was rapidly igniting at each little motion. It was like a dam had been broken; all you'd needed to open those gates was a push, just one hard shove in the right direction, for everything to fall into place.

You simply hadn't expected the shove to push yourself into San's waiting arms.

If your choreographer noticed the ease with which you and he now practiced the sensual movements, he didn't say anything about it; but you were both aware that sparks were blazing to life with every dip and sway- but neither of you wanted to be the first to put out the fire.

Rather, you found yourselves doing all you could to keep fanning the flames; it especially helped that you no longer needed to yell at each other in order to communicate. You'd been finding much more civil ways to talk since your twelfth day of dancing.

You and San reluctantly move away from each other once the dance is done and the music stops, spinning to face your instructor as he packs up. You refrain from coughing to cover up the way your insides feel like they're turning to mush.

"Awesome job guys!" Deojun claps and walks over to the stereo, a proud smile on his face. "That's it for the choreography, so if you two are ready to leave for the night then you're fine to do so. I'm finished for today, but if either of you stay longer, make sure you lock up after you're done."

You nod and gesture towards the door. "I'm starving, so I'm gonna leave, too." You look at San with a smile that is no longer lethal, and your gaze shines with something other than anger and irritation- a sweet combination that's almost too much for him to handle. "You coming?"

San licks his lips and shrugs, eyes trained on you. "Sure, but I can stay back and lock up while I grab my things, so I'll meet you out front."

You sling your bag over your shoulder and follow Deojun out of the studio, willing your brain to quit focusing on how flustered San's stare makes you.

You stop by the restroom to change out of your dance gear into a pair of light jeans and a loose shirt, trading out your dance shoes for comfy slip-ons, and you hope that the dazzled look on your face disappears soon when you head out.

You never imagined that the same guy who's been driving you insane for two weeks would ever cause you to blush; but here you were, hands pressed to your cheeks in an attempt to chase away the pink flush before you step outside, the image of your almost-kiss playing on repeat in the back of your mind like it usually did these days.

You weren't sure how it happened, but somewhere along the line, you realized that you never really hated San.

You reacted to his insults and his accusations, sure, but a part of you knew that the words were always empty; and even with as many times as you'd said it since meeting him, you honestly didn't hate San.

You just hated that you hadn't kissed him yet.

Jung Deojun has already left the building when you hear the entry door open and close, San approaching where you're standing alone outside of the studio and preoccupied with taking down your ponytail. The hand you were running through your hair halts when you feel his palm hover over your lower back, and his mere presence is enough to give you chills.

You gulp and drop your arm, spinning around.

The breath is practically knocked out of San when you turn to face him. He registers that the hand he's placed on your back now serves to pull you closer, but that's the last thing on his mind when he notices how your head cranes up to look him in the eyes, your almost hopeful expression being the cutest thing he's ever seen as your mouth forms a slight smile.

He's decided that he definitely prefers this look on you over the pissed-off ones he used to earn himself.

"Hey," He says simply, "you ready to go eat?"

You raise an eyebrow. "We're eating together? What about our managers, don't we both have places to be?"

San subconsciously guides your body closer to his, and you force yourself to ignore how droolworthy he looks in his skinny jeans and the black long-sleeved shirt he's tucked into them, keeping your eyes trained on anything that isn't the thick belt around his waist.

The outfit only does more to affirm how San is practically the e-boy of your dreams, posing a stark contrast to your light clothes and soft cardigan; your pulse quickens just from seeing the chain he's looped through his jeans. He looks dark and dangerous, and you love it.

The thought of grabbing that chain to close the gap between you is too tempting to entertain- so you banish it immediately.

"I contacted my company and they said we're free to do whatever we want until ten, as long as we stay out of trouble." San eventually responds to your question.

Your smile widens at the information, and you don't even feel yourself leaning into his arms, peering up at him happily. "In that case, I'm good to go wherever, because Mimi is always trying to get us out to eat more. As long as I get some food I don't really care what we eat." You say.

San so desperately wants to tighten his arms around you when you melt into his hold; but he isn't sure how well you'll respond if you aren't aware of what you're doing now, so he settles for keeping both of his hands placed on your hips, pushing away his desire to trace his fingers over the sliver of skin exposed by your shirt.

"Mimi is your personal manager, right?" San asks to keep up conversation.

"Yeah, but she's more like a friend than a manager," You tell him with a fond look in your eye, "she's always had my back, ever since day one. We're really close."

San has to supress a sigh at how irresistably cute you are; he doesn't know what to do with himself, aside from trying not to melt into putty at your touch. This is a far cry from the rigid stance you normally have around him, and he can't believe how much things have changed in the last four days.

If this had been happening a week ago, you would've laughed in San's face at the offer to go eat together, and he would go back to his dorm at KQ and tell his seven friends about how insufferable you'd been that day.

But now?

Now you're voluntarily spending time with him outside of the studio, and he's wondering why you guys didn't do this sooner.

"I'm feeling partial to pizza, how about you?" He suggests.

You nod quickly at the idea, "That sounds great, but I haven't had pizza in so long; we'll have to Google directions."

"I know a good place down the street, about two blocks away. It's close enough that we can walk from here." San offers. He points to your left, towards the downtown area, and you hoist your bag higher up on your shoulder.

"Then by all means, lead the way." You tease.

You don't exactly hold hands as the two of you walk towards the closest pizza place side-by-side; but you're not at all the sworn enemies you'd been at this time four days ago.

And by the end of the night, you go to bed with a full stomach and a voice in your head that says, maybe Choi San isn't as bad as you thought he was.

Day 19 - 7:50 PM

"Oh my god, you're kidding!" You hide your laughs behind your hand, elbows resting on the table.

Deojun shakes his head rapidly, affirming the truth to the wild story he's been sharing with you and San over your meal at the diner three doors down from the studio (which your other managers barely even agreed to let you go to after taking one look at the menu; thankfully, Mimi was able to convince them that you deserved a treat).

"No, I'm serious! They walked into the studio in full clown suits and told me they were ready to dance!"

You snort so hard you're afraid your milkshake might go up your nose. You couldn't believe all of the crazy stuff he'd seen as a mentor, and some of the things his students had done while dancing were amusing enough to bring tears to your eyes. But the day had been long enough- and exhausting enough- that maybe you were just feeling giddy out of tiredness.

San is currently clutching his sides and shaking with laughter across from you in the booth, and he doesn't seem to be too far from tears himself. "Then it's no wonder we seem so normal to you after you taught a group like that. That one couple makes mine and Y/N's silly fights look mature, don't you think?"

Deojun waggles his eyebrows suggestively, making you laugh even harder. "I wouldn't exactly say normal. You two were about as difficult as any other students I've ever had when you first started. I'm actually kind of surprised we're all sitting pleasantly here right now, given the circumstances up until recently..." He trails off, the playful expression slipping from his face when the three of you realize what's being implied.

It was so strange to think that you'd gone from hating your partner's guts a couple of days ago to where you were now, eating dinner together with Deojun after a long day of rehearsal.

You and San had definitely become friends at this point, much to your relief; but the passion with which you danced together always left you wondering if there was something more.

After all, friends don't dance like that- even if your managers instructed you to act like lovers.

"I know you'll need to get back to your managers soon or else Mimi might bite my head off, so I'll go on up and get our bill." Deojun announces, pulling you from your train of thought as the choreographer nudges you urgently, gesturing for you to move so he can get out of the booth.

You let him out and slide back in when he leaves for the front counter, an uncalled-for nervous rush zipping down your body when you catch San's eye.

The dancer stares you down from across the table and twirls his tongue around the straw in his milkshake, immediately taking note of the way your eyes follow his movement. He chooses not to tease you about it but smirks nonetheless, fully aware of the effect he has on you.

You stay silent; and despite the newfound friendship that has made talking much less difficult for the both of you, you can't form a coherent sentence to save your life when he looks at you like you're a ten-thousand-piece puzzle that he can't wait to solve. You know you won't last long under his intense gaze before you start blushing.

The air in the booth is practically humming with tension- it seems to do that quite often when he's in the same room as you.

"You know, I'm kind of with Deojun on what he said. I never thought we'd end up here." He admits suddenly.

You look up, wondering if he's talking about eating here at the diner or if he's talking about something else entirely. You think it's the former, but your heart flutters at the subtle double meaning.

"Me neither." You respond softly, wrapping your hands around your cold glass. Your milkshake is now nothing but a puddle of leftover whipped cream at the bottom of the cup, but your lack of words makes you wish you hadn't finished it quite so fast.

He leans forward to put his weight on his elbows, coming closer across the table, and the inexplicable gleam in his eye is back; with the intimacy of it all, you feel as though he's about to let you in on a big secret.

You gulp nervously.

"After the first week with you, I expected to just go through the motions and then move on," San says in a voice so low it's nearly a murmur, "but you proved me wrong. As a matter of fact, you proved me wrong about a lot of things when it comes to you, and this is probably the first time I've ever been glad I wasn't right."

You're taken aback by his words, and it's a little too vague for you to understand.

You hope your voice doesn't sound as wobbly to him as it does to you when you ask him, "What things were you wrong about?"

He shrugs, taking another long sip of his shake, before he regards you with a stare so intense it seems to almost pin you to your seat.

"You're not the selfish prissy princess I thought you were." He eventually says.

Your eyes narrow at this, your suspicions about his confession rising even though he's not insulted you at all since the twelfth day in the studio.

San sees the way your guard goes up and laughs, shaking his hair out of his face. "Relax Y/N, there's no need to go on the defensive." He reassures you, "I'm just saying that I assumed too much about you when we met, and I should've said sorry sooner for not giving you a chance to show me that you were different."

You feel the tips of your ears burn at the unexpected apology.

You want to tear your gaze away from him so you can stare intently at your shoes; but some invisible force is keeping it glued on him, where there's a softness you've not yet seen glimmering in his eyes.

You know that you should say something in return, that you need to accept his apology and keep the conversation going- but your thoughts are spinning and racing and wild; and they're so full of him that you're afraid of what you'd say if you opened your mouth.

You never really let yourself cave into the way he makes you feel before. After all, you were way too annoyed by him in the beginning for you to register the other feelings he stirred up inside you.

But now that you've given up on trying to hate San, the ache to know him, to really know him- his touch, his kiss, his smile and his story- is almost overwhelming.

"Alrighty, everything's paid for." Your choreographer chooses that exact moment to arrive back at the booth, effectively slicing through the thick tension. "You're both free to go, and I'll see you tomorrow bright and early!"

You and San follow him out of the booth without any more discussion, but neither of you need to speak to know that another shift has occurred between you.

He can tell you sense the rising pressure when you leave that night, walking you to where your company's car is waiting.

San is quick to open the door for you like a gentleman; but when he raises the back of your hand to his lips in a move that would normally be just as gentlemanly, the depth of his expression when he makes eye contact is more than enough to put fire in your veins.

The encounter makes you wish you were bold enough to do more than just curl your fingers loosely around his hand.

You give yourself away with the breathy tone of your voice as you tell him good night, for once letting the tingling sensation on your hand have some meaning, and his lips pull into a soft grin at the sight of your pink cheeks.

As you close your door and the car pulls away from where San stands, your heart starts pounding in anticipation of seeing him tomorrow.

You wonder if you'll finally have the courage to show him the effect he's had on you.

Day 22 - 8:15 PM

The days continue to fly by in a whirlwind of teasing touches and sensual stares, until only three more remain before the night of the collaboration stage.

You read the time on your phone as you pull off your dance shoes, the screen showing that it was currently 8:15 in the evening.

Earlier today, you and San had shot the official performance video for the song, a three-minute-long clip that you hope had captured all of your hard work and effort. It had been done in a newer section of the studio building, on a floor you'd not been to before; but you were sufficiently elated at the gorgeous floor-to-ceiling windows that lined the walls of the dance room, and the lighting they provided was perfect for the video.

But despite the pretty setup, you felt like the dressing rooms in the back were somewhat... lacking. It was too small, poorly separated, and alarmingly unsupervised- the perfect recipe for disaster.

You see San's shadow moving around behind the flimsy screen that divides the empty room, and you rush to change out of the costume into normal clothes. You shimmy your jeans up quickly and tug your favorite sweater on over your head, hurrying because you know that if you can see him, then he can probably see you, too.

You try not to yank on your hair as you pull it out of its elaborate bun. Running a hand through it, you suppress a snort when you're met with a crunchy, knotty mess; between the uppity stylist and the mega-hold hairspray, your hair is practically standing up on its own, the strands feeling more like hay than hair.

You grab your brush and get to work, carefully detangling the knots and working from the bottom upwards. Mimi wouldn't be too pleased if you gave yourself split ends.

"Is it safe for me to come in?" San's voice startles you, and you jump with the hairbrush still in your hand, catching violently on a clump of stubborn hairspray. You yelp at the pain in your scalp and shoot him a burning look, but your anger is more directed towards your brush than at your partner.

San raises his eyebrows and clicks his tongue, his footsteps sure as he approaches you. "Here, let me help you." He offers. You don't think twice before handing him the hairbrush and sitting on the cosmetics table, your cheeks flaming as you whisper a thank you.

You don't expect him to be very gentle, but you're surprised at the feather-light touch when he begins to work out the remaining knots, and it sends pleasant sensations to your scalp that make your eyelids slide shut.

He moves your hair to the side and combs through the crown of your head. You almost shudder when you realize you can feel every time he exhales, warm breath fanning over the back of your neck. You don't even notice the way you crane your head slightly back, your spine pressed against his chest, the proximity keeping your cheeks stained pink.

But oh, does San notice.

He also notices another reaction that you've failed to see- your reflection in the mirror across the room.

His grip tightens on the handle of the brush at your blissful expression, eyes closed and lips subconsciously pouted. San nearly wishes you'd stayed in your bland dance clothes, because with the way your jeans hug your hips and the tantalizing dip of your sweater's neckline, he's struggling to keep his cool.

As a matter of fact, nothing in the room was cool anymore- his hands, your face, and the atmosphere surrounding you both had all become maddeningly hot.

Your eyes flutter open when San stops moving.

"San, I can take care of the rest, you don't have to do this for me-" You begin to say, but your words abandon you when San puts the brush down and trails a finger in lazy circles on your neck. You do shudder this time, unable to conceal the way your body responds to him; and it brings a smirk to San's lips as he watches your defenses start to chip away.

He's determined to finish what you'd both started- and he doesn't plan on leaving this room until he's felt your mouth on his and his hands on your skin.

"But I want to, princess." He says smoothly, the hidden meaning of the word want driving you nuts, while the pet name makes your heart leap like it always does.

You brace your palms on the surface of the table, hoping for some sort of stability because God knows your mind is far from it.

You summon up all the courage you have and finally, finally ask the question that's been tossed around in your head for the last two or three weeks.

"Is that... is that all you want?"

You're surprised at the strength of your own voice- though now that you've said it, you want to curl into a ball and hide away forever.

San knows exactly what you mean. He knows you're not talking about hair or dancing, and he knows the answer he would give you if he were man enough not to twirl around the truth.

He knows he wants to be yours; what he doesn't know, however, is how much you'd be willing to risk to be his.

But he'll be damned if he lets anything stop him from finding out.

"I think you know by now what I want." He tests the waters hesitantly, afraid you may take it the wrong way. Because although he can't deny his attraction to you physically, San is drawn to you more by your fire and your passion than he is by your body.

You can sense it, the uncharacteristic doubt and uncertainty in his words, and it puts a lump in your throat when you realize how vulnerable you both are at this point.

You swallow hard. "I do." It's simple, short, and barely above a whisper, but it's out there now; you've placed the ball back in his court, so it's up to him to make the shot.

You never were much good at basketball, anyways.

San rounds the table to stand in front of you, eyes searing with that familiar intensity that always leaves your knees weak, and his arms reach out on either side of where you sit to balance his weight on the table. He hovers over you- but he's just far away enough to keep himself from touching you.

His voice is gruff when he speaks next. "You've known for a while now that we aren't just partners." It's self explanatory, and you don't interrupt when he tilts his head to give you a sweltering gaze. "And you're not too good at hiding how you feel, so I know it's probably a safe bet to say you feel exactly the same as I do."

His black hair falls into his face, and your hand itches to brush it away; so you let it. You're slow to comb through it and you raise yourself up a little to get closer to him as you rake through the dark strands, letting them twist and twirl around your fingers. "And what is it that you think I'm feeling right now?" You ask, meeting his stare straight on.

San flashes his killer smirk. "Attraction." He says confidently. He wedges his way into your personal space, his hands now resting on either of your thighs with his body between your legs. "Desire, maybe." He continues with a squeeze.

You know where this is heading- and you don't plan on stopping it anytime soon. Hell, you want it to go full steam ahead, because you've been waiting for this for four weeks too long.

San laces his fingers through yours and leans in to place a teasing kiss on your cheek, close to your ear. "Y/N, tell me something." He murmurs lowly, "Do you want this, too? Because if you still hate me as much as you did four weeks ago, I'll stop right now and walk out of the room."

You spring to life at his offer, throwing one arm around his neck and successfully trapping him into his position. Your faces are only a few inches apart now, the air between you radiating with electricity; you wrap your other arm around his shoulders and eliminate almost all of the space.

You have no idea where this bravery is coming from, but hey, you're not complaining.

"Don't you dare walk out on this." You say darkly, the words stealing away the last of San's sanity. "We're in too deep now, so if you're gonna kiss me, you better kiss me like you mean it." You threaten.

It's all the encouragement he needs to bring your lips to his- and the result is more incredible than anything either of you had imagined.

You don't melt together the way that you've heard others describe themselves doing. No, you and San are too passionate, too full of sparks- this kiss isn't melting.

It's blazing.

There's no uncertainty or gentle hesitancy in it; not even a little bit. From the moment his mouth is on yours, you kiss with an unmatched fervor and passion, feeling more like an explosion than like fireworks.

You're fighting fire with fire, and nothing has ever felt so good before.

You push and pull and meet right back in the middle in an exchange of powerful sparks, the kiss seeming to last for hours as you both fight to outdo the other in true 'fake enemies' fashion. San's fingers are digging into your hips and your hands are tugging on his shirt for some semblance of balance; everything is on fire, and yet everything is positively and passionately perfect.

You sigh against his lips in sheer bliss, your legs hooking themselves around his torso and bringing him impossibly closer. His fingertips skim across the hem of your sweater before slipping under it, and you nearly moan when he runs them up and down the curve of your back.

You've never felt this connected to a person before; almost as if from the moment you met, an invisible thread was strung between you and San, winding tighter and tighter over time until you were much too entangled to stop this.

You didn't ever want to stop this, anyways.

This kiss, this moment, and the last few whirlwind weeks with this man who's made of sweetness and pure sin- it all seems to be stitched together to create an emotion so strong that it rolls off of both of you in waves; an earth shattering romance that must be written in the stars themselves.

San mentally sends a thousand thanks to those lucky stars as he ends the kiss, regretfully pulling back to see what a mess he's made out of you.

He isn't disappointed either; your puffy pink lips and pretty glazed eyes make his already-tight pants feel three sizes too small, and he has to refrain from diving right back in for another soul-searing kiss.

He does his best to contain himself and leans his forehead against yours in a move he's cringed at every time it happens in the movies, though he finds it to be a lot less cliché with you.

In the aftermath of your passionate makeout, your eyes are gazing headlong into his own, and San swears he's never seen a more beautiful sight than this. He feels close, so close; his hands are pressed securely on the small of your back, though you sure as hell aren't thinking about that.

You're too busy thinking about how you finally have a name for that special look he's been giving you.

Adoration.

Sure, it's obviously mixed with a dash of unbridled lust and a bucketload of his signature sizzling attraction, but the adoring expression on his face says it all. Whether or not anyone knew things would happen this way, San has always adored you; you and your fiery temper, sweet smile, and ridiculous, incredible passion.

You feel yourself going shy again as he continues to stare at you, your blush already as deep as it can get, and you have half a mind to bury your face in his chest to escape the knowledge that your moment is beginning to fade away.

You don't want anything about the moment to fade, ever.

"Y/N," San's voice is soothing as he softly traces shapes into the skin beneath your sweater, "I hope you haven't changed your mind about wanting me to walk out."

You smile sheepishly, shaking your head. "No, nothing's changed." You manage to murmur around the tightness in your chest. It's not a bad tightness though; it's just the coil of raw emotion that's settling into your heart at the pure vulnerability of the last ten minutes.

"So does that mean we're still going to just keep doing what we've been doing this whole time?" He asks, tilting his head, "Or can I finally call you mine?"

Your lungs stutter briefly at his question, the word "mine" sounding so perfect to you when it falls from his mouth.

You don't answer immediately despite your inner self screaming at you to say yes. You have plenty of realistic things to consider, and anyone with a brain would say no in your position; but all of it is overshadowed by what you feel for San.

Both of your contracts, your fames and fanbases, and even your careers as idols are on the line, but you know with every beat of your heart that you'd risk all of that for this boy.

You'd risk anything to be his, you're sure of it.

"Yes." You agree quietly. "But only if it means that you're mine, too."

The smirk is back, and it turns the butterflies in your stomach into fucking pterodactyls at how effortlessly he can do that. It should be illegal for someone to switch the way San does, going from being a swoonworthy sweetheart to looking like a sexual fantasy on legs in the blink of an eye.

"I thought that was a given, babe." His tone has returned to its usual cockiness, but instead of getting on your nerves, now it just sounds plain hot. He gives you a mischievous wink as he says, "After all, it takes two to tango."

You don't bother hiding your laugh while you slide off of the cosmetics table; and you're still laughing at him when you walk out of the unsupervised dressing rooms hand in hand, feeling like it was meant to be this way all along.

In the back of your mind, you wonder if a mere twenty-three days is too soon to call it love.

You don't think so.

Day of Collaboration Stage - 4:30 PM

You hadn't seen San all day.

Today was the end of your promotions, and in three short hours, you'd be dancing together on a stage in front of the whole world, doing the moves you'd spent more time rehearsing than you'd spent sleeping throughout the last month.

You were on edge, to say the very least.

Currently, you were sitting in your designated room at the site of the event, staying as still as possible while being attacked with makeup brushes from all angles.

You would normally have a conversation with the group of people pampering you; but the desire to see San was making it hard to focus on talking about the weather or finding out the latest gossip.

You and San had shared three more kisses since the other night. Two of them were in the studio during rehearsal when Deojun left the room, and the third had been in the doorway of the building last night, when you and he had said goodbye after your final practice.

Your body was aching to see him. It wasn't that you just wanted to kiss him again (though you won't object to a kiss either); but you longed for some reassurance, for the steadiness you felt from a hug or even just the simple look he gave you that made all of the doubts and worries disappear in its wake.

"Mimi," You call to your most trusted manager, "has anyone heard from KQ since lunch?"

Your team giggles at your request, and Mimi gives you a fond smile as she shakes her head. "No dear, I'm sorry. We'll be sure to tell you as soon as they contact us though."

You nod quickly and try to relax a little bit, willing your hands to loosen their grip on the arms of your chair. If your stylists can sense how jittery you are, they don't let on; they continue to chatter mindlessly as they get you ready for tonight's much-anticipated performance.

On the other end of the building, San is only one brain cell away from calling your company and asking them if he can finish getting ready with you- because the seven lively boys crowded around in his room are becoming very, very distracting.

"Mingi, for the last time, please don't mess with my costume." The dancer chides his tall friend, who ducks his head and mumbles an apology.

The redheaded leader, Hongjoong, is trying to help San keep peace in the chaos that began when Yunho decided to twerk in the hallway- but reigning in the band of childish idols proves to be a challenge when his best friend Wooyoung steals his phone and tries to guess his password so he can text you, the mystery girl.

"Sannie!" Wooyoung pouts, "Won't you at least give me a little hint? I promise I won't text her anything too embarrassing."

Before he can answer, the oldest boy, Seonghwa, snatches the phone from Wooyoung and hands it back to its owner. "Woo, don't be a burden. Let San finish getting ready." He scolds. Wooyoung sighs dramatically and skips over to the lone couch in the dressing room to bother its occupants, Yeosang and Jongho; San's arguably more level-headed friends.

San's manager pays no mind to the loud group wreaking havoc and continues with prep, swiping on the finishing touches to the stage makeup and doing a final fluff of his hair.

The manager steps back to survey her work and smiles, already gathering up her things and packing away the tools. "You're all set San, try to keep your hands away from your face and hair. Good luck tonight." She says, promptly retreating from the noisy group and closing the door behind her.

The moment the manager leaves, Kim Hongjoong is standing behind San's chair and crossing his arms, staring him down in the mirror. The question leaves his mouth before anyone can stop him.

"San," His tone is demanding, "no more vague answers. I wanna know straight up if you're into this girl or not, and don't you dare try to beat around the bush."

San gulps heavily, not expecting to get drilled about you so soon today. He should've known better though- after all, he's always been horrible at keeping secrets from his team.

He takes a deep breath before finally confessing to his leader, "Yes, I'm into her. More than I've ever been into anyone." He admits, still trying not to make it obvious how deep his feeling for you run.

But he can't help the foolish grin that crosses his face as he continues to say, "She dances with more passion than any girl I've ever worked with, and you should see the way she looks at me when she doesn't think I'll notice. You'd never pick on me again if you danced with her like I do."

He shuts his mouth before any more mushy words can make it past his lips; but the damage is already done. Choi San has completely blown his cover, letting everyone know exactly how often you've been on his mind- or rather, his heart.

Wooyoung and Mingi both stop what they're doing at the outburst and stare at San, jaws dropping. Park Seonghwa seems frozen in his seat, Yunho and Jongho's heads both snap up at the same time, and even cool, unbothered Yeosang turns off his phone and raises one eyebrow.

"Somebody's majorly fuckin' whipped." Yunho mutters under his breath. Seonghwa only halfheartedly nudges him for the comment, and San feels his ears burn from the intense scrutiny of his seven best friends, all eyes turned to him.

It's too late to backtrack now.

"Shut up, Yunho." San whines, shoulders slumping with defeat. Wooyoung's triumphant smirk goes unnoticed in the mirror as San exposes his humongous crush on you, not even trying to deny it anymore, and Mingi sighs loudly knowing he'll have to cough up $15 to Wooyoung once the night is over.

"So it's true then?" Seonghwa voices what everyone must be thinking, "You and the mystery girl? Are you... are you dating her?" His voice lowers on the word dating, and Hongjoong holds his breath, suddenly not quite as playful as he was before.

He knows Choi San is a wonderful person, and that the last thing he'd ever do would be something that intentionally hurts the group. But he also knows that the boy tends to let his heart run away with his passion; and if he's in a secret relationship behind their backs, then there's more at stake than just the dating ban contract.

Thankfully, San's eyes widen and he shakes his head side-to-side. "No, I'm not! It's not like that! I swear, we really aren't together. I'd never hide something like that from you guys." He states honestly.

It's not a lie, either. Despite the kisses and touches that he's shared with you lately, and the heated confrontation after the dress rehearsals, he truly isn't in any official relationship at the moment.

But that doesn't mean he has no desire to be in one with you.

He knows what's at risk, of course he does; but even so, he knows that once the dust settles and the cameras are no longer pointed at him, he wants to be by your side long after the collaboration is finished.

He wants to be yours just as badly as you want to be his. And tonight, he's determined to prove it.

Yeosang sees the confidence flickering in San's expression and nods his head, hiding a small smile of pride. "Go get her, San. We'll all be rooting for you."

And with those words of encouragement, San is dashing out of the room like a man on a mission- a mission to see you.

It takes an hour of discreet texting while you're being pampered to death for San to come up with a valid excuse to see you.

You eventually agree that he'll interrupt your prep to do one more walkthrough of your ending scene; but you both know that it's just an excuse to have a little more time together before the stage, and that knowledge makes you giggle like a schoolgirl when San messages you.

Fireboy: wish me luck getting past ur managers !!

Your grip relaxes on your chair when you finally hear a knock at your door. Mimi shoots right up to answer it, and her polite smile grows mischievous when she sees who's on the other side.

"Hello there, Mr. Choi," Mimi greets, "how can I help you?"

San blinks and clears his throat. "I, uh, I'm here to go over a few steps with Y/N." He doesn't sound overly convincing, and you hide a chuckle with the palm of your hand. "Just to make sure we've got everything right before the performance, you know?"

Your lead manager shares a look with the other girls on your prep team, opens the door wider, and beckons for everyone else to leave.

"We'll give you some space to rehearse. Come find me if you need anything, Mr. Choi." Mimi tells him with that same smirk painted on her face as she practically tugs San the rest of the way into the room. They all go at once, leaving you sitting alone in your snazzy chair when they close the door behind them.

You glance at him with a shy smile, peering beneath your newly mascara-coated lashes at the handsome sight in front of you.

San is styled in a costume very similar to the one he wore for the performance video- black pants, a red harness belt, and a billowy long-sleeved white shirt with three buttons undone at the top. It takes everything in you to keep your jaw from dropping; though you don't really need to worry about it since San is having no problem openly staring at your legs.

But you can't blame him for looking, because you think your legs are a hundred percent worth staring at in the pretty red swing dress that you'll be wearing tonight.

"My eyes are up here, buddy." You snap your fingers playfully, and he meets your gaze with a boyish grin.

"Sorry, Y/N." He's not sorry in the slightest.

You push yourself up from your chair and cross the floor to where he stands, his back resting against your dressing room door. "What do you really need?" You ask him, stopping when he's an arm's length away.

He doesn't hesitate to pull you the rest of the way into his embrace and loops his arms around your middle, all but sweeping you off of your feet.

"This." He says, tone leaving no room for debate.

He kisses you swiftly, not even giving you a moment to breathe before his lips are on yours and he's softly tracing patterns on the fabric of your shirt. It's a sweet kiss; slow and languid, as if you have all the time in the world, but still heavy with meaning and want.

"San," You mumble, "I don't really think-"

"I'm not gonna ruin your hair, Miss Priss." He instantly answers your halfhearted concern and is back to kissing you, tongue sliding hastily along your bottom lip. It's enough to give you just a taste of what you want; but you remember that your entire prep team is probably listening outside of your room, and you have more to worry about than a messed up hairdo.

You move away to save your makeup- an action that ends up taking every ounce of your willpower to do- and press a lingering peck to his cheek. "You're cute, San. Was that all you came here to do though?"

He stops an embarrassing blush from rising onto his cheeks and clears his throat again, face turning serious.

"I actually did come to talk to you about something," He admits, taking your hands in his. "I wanted to check in with you to see how you're feeling about tonight's stage. Are there any fears of crowds or cameras that I should know about?"

Your smile droops slightly and his grip tightens, his hands warm on yours and giving you the courage to voice your concerns.

"I, um..." You manage to get out, "I've never performed a dance like this before and... well, I'm really nervous and worried. I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off well enough."

You purse your lips as you add, "And as ironic as it is to say this, even though I'm a dancer, I've never been too fond of big audiences."

"Y/N," San whispers softly, "Don't think about the crowds tonight. If we're gonna do this, then I'll need to you keep your eyes on mine, baby. Don't look away from me while we're dancing, okay?"

Your hands cling onto his the way your heart clings onto his words, hoping that they might chase away your nerves.

"I'll try." You tell him plainly. It's the truth- you don't know if you'll be able to ignore the countless eyes watching you or the cameras that will capture every move; but you're going to try. If not for yourself, then at least for him.

His face breaks into a gorgeous smile, making your heart flutter with something other than nervous panic. "Good." He says with finality, giving you one more intoxicating kiss while he makes sure he hasn't messed up your hair. "We're gonna do great, Y/N. I can feel it."

You hear your team gossiping and giggling out in the hallway, making you shake your head. He winks playfully at you and blows you a kiss before backing away.

"See you out there, Miss Priss." He teases when he opens the door. The nickname makes the edges of your lips turn upwards, and you smile against your will.

You roll your eyes but catch the kiss nonetheless. "Famous last words, Fireboy." You say as you shoo him off, and Mimi swoops back into the room, steering you back to your chair to sit you down. You're not able to summon enough words to describe your encounter when your prep crew asks; though you think the dreamy look on your face says it all.

You still aren't totally sure if you can pull the performance off tonight.

But you know that if your handsome partner is half as talented on stage as he is in rehearsals, then there's no reason for you to worry.

"Y/N, are you ready to go?" Mimi asks, "We need to meet up with KQ in the next twenty seconds if you want to be backstage on time."

You nod against your better judgment, allowing her to take your arm and gently guide you out of your dressing room and down the corridor. Your heartbeat is drumming a quick rhythm in your ears, your mind buzzing with last-minute what if's and oh no's.

Your heeled shoes alert the group of stagehands that's already begun to gather behind the sound booth to your presence, all heads turned towards you; and almost as if he could hear your internal doubts, Choi San sends you a thumbs up and winks, causing you to laugh.

"Are you ready to knock about three hundred socks off?" He asks as soon as you're in range, walking up to you. He unashamedly loops an arm around you, not seeming to care if the pose is a little too close for coworkers.

"It depends; are you ready to become the country's ultimate bias for the next month?" You tease back. He laughs playfully pokes your side before letting you go.

"Absolutely." He says without hesitating. You roll your eyes, mouth opening to crack another joke, but the stagehands start calling out directions before you can think of a good one.

It's almost showtime.

The realization is jolting, and scares the ever-living shit out of you more than any spider could.

Your heart immediately plummets to your stomach and your nerves return with full force. You all of a sudden don't feel quite as confident in your heels as you did, your ankles threatening to wobble and give away your weakness.

But as always, San swoops in to rescue your thoughts before you get too lost in them; strong fingers lace together with your trembling ones when he raises an eyebrow as if to say, get it together, y/n.

"Oh no you don't, princess. You don't get to chicken out on me now. We can't have you collapsing on stage, can we?" He taunts. You give him a familiar glare in return.

The simple question is enough to get your blood rushing as you recall all the times he's said things like that to you and meant it, all of the heated- yet pointless- fights you'd had during your first few weeks together. You remember how annoying he used to be with you; though looking back on it now, you suppose he was just doing it on purpose.

There was certainly blame to share for the childish spats you had during those twelve maddening days where you couldn't decide if you were enemies or lovers. But you think that, if given the chance, you wouldn't actually want to go back and redo it- you don't want it any other way.

You always secretly kind of liked the tension you had together.

A smile is pulling at your lips when the stage lights dim and the velvet curtain begins to rustle, San's hand still fully engulfing yours. He notices your change in demeanor and squeezes lightly, your attention turning to him and his stupidly handsome face.

"What's that look for?" He presses.

You shrug and squeeze his hand back, "Just thinking about how much I used to hate you, that's all."

You expect San's mouth to fall open in shock, for him to whine and say something like "you're not very nice!", but instead you get a dark chuckle and a meaningful stare.

"Come on, baby. You never really hated me, did you?"

You pretend to think about it, ignoring the burning blush on your cheeks. "I guess not," You sigh wistfully, "but I definitely couldn't stand you when we were starting out. You used to get on my nerves like no tomorrow, Fireboy."

The sounds from the crowd in the arena are floating backstage, but you don't even register the noise as you relive your memories with San.

He nods his head, "It's been an interesting few weeks with you too, Y/N. I don't know how I missed what was really there for so long; I must've been such an ass to you. At least now we're making up for lost time..." He trails off with a suggestive smile, detaching his hand from yours when a manager pops up out of the blue.

You nearly curse- because now you really want to make up for lost time and kiss him until you're breathless- but the manager grabs both you and your partner by the arm and drags you to stand over two red x's in the middle of the stage, and you sense the panic rising up in spite of your handsome distraction.

"Two minutes until your cue, you two. Are you both fully prepared?" The manager interrupts to check on you, and your mind boggles as soon as you hear how much time is left.

Two minutes?

How could there only be two minutes left? And weren't you kissing San in your dressing room just a moment ago? It feels like the seconds are flying by, the hours and minutes blending together in your nervous haze.

San's eyes dart to you and his tongue comes out to sweep over his lower lip; something you'd find desperately attractive if not for your frantic inner dialogue. "Yes, thank you." He bows slightly and the manager scurries off, allowing San one more moment to have you all to himself.

He can detect every ounce of anxiety in your eyes when they meet his, and he cups your face in his palms, the sweet gesture not allowing you to duck away from him.

"Y/N, what did we talk about earlier?" He prompts you with a tone that's uncharacteristically soft. Your lips form an adorable pout when you try to find an answer, testing San's ability to resist you.

"Umm... we talked about not getting nervous?" You attempt. He shakes his head, placing a single chaste kiss on your lips while no one can see you.

"No, not quite. I told you that when you get nervous, you'll need to focus on me. Right?" He tilts your chin up with one finger, "Didn't I say to keep your eyes on me when we dance?"

You're taken aback by the authoritative edge to his voice, but whatever the cause for it is... it works.

You blink and respond, "Yes. I will, San, I'll try."

He breaks into a grin that sends butterflies to your tummy for an entirely different reason. "That's all there is to it, then. Any time you aren't confident, just look straight at me and I'll take the lead."

You aren't sure why the phrase is so comforting, but you're nodding your head anyways, reassured just enough to keep your anxious doubts at bay.

"Okay." You whisper.

And before you have time to fully process what's happening, the directors and operators are flying to their booths around the two of you and the curtains rustle one last time, the din of the workers backstage going completely quiet when the lights go out and San takes you into his arms.

"Cue!" You hear Mimi say from the wings, along with what sounds like "Knock 'em dead, Y/N!"

You feel like your nerves are going to get the best of you when the curtain starts to lift, positive that they'll overtake your body and freeze your limbs solid.

But they never do, and you know exactly why.

It's because when the spotlight lands on you and San, you're already in position, and his eyes are staring confidently back into your own.

Almost like he's daring you to break away.

"Game on, Fireboy." You say under your breath.

The beginning notes float through the speakers, and the spotlight flares to life, trained on you and your partner as the music fills your bodies.

One, two, three... concentrate. You hear Jung Deojun's voice in your head when you spring upwards, officially beginning your dance. Feel the heartbeat of the music like it's your own.

Your hands grasp at San's shirt, your legs carrying out each move with perfect poise, and you're absolutely, 100% sure that every member of this audience can blatantly see the desire that burns in his eyes as he spins you into your mark.

A spark of pure confidence makes its way into your system, giving your arms the strength to wrap around your partner and let go of his collar, and the complete trust you have in him is the only thing that makes the next move remotely possible.

Your mind flashes back briefly to day thirteen, when you'd first successfully done the lift. You'd jumped into San's waiting arms with more trust than anyone would've guessed you had for him, surprising even yourself.

You remember how hot his hands had been on your sides when he picked you up gracefully, how flustered his touch had made you back then- but you also remember how proud you'd been of finally letting go and giving him the reins.

You feel just as proud now as you were then when he lifts you; you're weightless, flying like a fiery phoenix in the air with San twirling you around, and you can almost hear the collective gasp when he lays you down, sinking effortlessly into the one move that's always turned your mind into putty.

It's the move that took you two entire days of rehearsal to conquer, and holy fuck was it worth it.

San's got a shit-eating smirk on his face as he controls his hips while balancing above you, doing that roll with his lower body while keeping his legs in the air, and you get so lost in his burning stare that you almost forget to do the floor work you've practiced so often.

"You're doing so well for me, Y/N." He whispers for just you to hear, the words hot against the skin of your neck, and your eyes fall shut momentarily at the sensation.

Then he rolls up in one fluid motion while tugging you with him, and you surge straight into the next step: something Deojun had described as taking a classic foxtrot and adding a pinch of 'spice' to it. It'd be scandalous if it wasn't choreographed.

You sway to the pulsing rhythm as you glide across the stage hand-in-hand, and the dazzling lights are no match for the fire that's crackling to life between you and him. You never expected the flames to make it to the stage- but you're glad it did, because right now, it's helping you to dance with more passion than you were even sure you possessed.

His arms circle your torso sensually and you rock together like starstruck lovers, one hand trailing a path down the side of your face; and the longer you dance, the less aware you are of the eyes watching your performance.

"How's it going, princess?" He murmurs hotly, doing a flawless tango with your body pressed firmly against his.

You rake one nail across the exposed skin from his shirt, making a mark just below his collarbone, and a feeling of satisfaction bubbles in your chest when he tightens his arms around you.

"Pretty damn good, if I do say so myself." You don't know where this courage is coming from, but you shoot him a teasing smile anyways, "What about you, Fireboy?"

He runs the palm of his hand all the way from the base of your spine to the back of your neck and bends you beneath his touch, your red lips parting when he moves into a perfect dip.

Your arm is slung around his shoulder, and it takes a lot of self-restraint for you not to kiss him senseless when he raises an eyebrow and responds, "It couldn't get any fucking better than this, baby."

San has always known exactly what words to say to set you ablaze.

There's a simmering fire in his touch as he pulls you out of the dip and the tempo quickens, leading you into what you can't believe is already the last chorus of the song.

Have you really been dancing for almost six minutes now?

"Are you ready for the finale?" You ask lowly, unable to hear if he says anything once you're sent spiraling across the floor.

But when you meet back up like lovers who can't bear to be apart, he leans in to tell you cockily, "I was born ready, Y/N." You suppress an eye roll at the statement, your heart fluttering nonetheless as he puts his hands on your hips and swings in step with you.

San's hands grip you tightly as he pulls you against him, your mouths hovering tantalizingly close together when he guides your arm up to skim the curve of his neck. The sensual music drifts through the arena in time with your movements, each step flowing smoothly and each touch driving you wild as you perform your finale with your hearts on your sleeves.

You've never felt this before Choi San; you've never experienced such an intense desire for someone the way you're desperate for every brush of his skin against yours.

You slide slowly out of his arms and make your way down, down his body and to the floor, taking your sweet time walking your fingers down his chest as you sink to your knees on stage; the sight of you in such a compromising stance earns you an earful of traumatized murmurs from the crowd, but you pay them no mind.

Nothing else matters when San's knees hit the stage floor three beats later, hands tangling in your hair and pulling you close enough to give the cameraman a run for his money.

All that matters in that instant is San- his touch, his gaze, and the dance that feels like it was made just for you and him.

"That... was amazing." You comment breathlessly, careful not to give any wandering eyes a chance to read your lips. He nods and says nothing, letting his fiery eyes do all the talking for the both of you.

The moment feels incredibly intimate as the music fades out, and you're breathing the same air as your partner, only separated by an inch at the most; you want nothing more than to grab him by his too-damn-sexy shirt and make out until your lips are swollen.

But you can't do that, because you're still somehow on stage with him, crouching in a sensual pose in front of hundreds of people.

The last notes float away and you're immediately met with deafening cheers, roses and carnations already beginning to litter the platform. You're shocked by how much your performance seemed to affect the audience; but it makes you smile wide, your cheeks aching when a group of girls start chanting your name, and you feel like you're on cloud nine.

The MC's voice booms over the speakers as the crowd whistles and yells, "What an incredible performance from Choi San of Ateez and Y/N of Indigo! Let's have another round of applause for the stars of tonight's show, everyone!"

The clapping continues, following you and San off of the stage and back behind the wings as you're rushed into a hug from Mimi. She shakes your shoulders wildly, eyes shining with what looks like happy tears; she congratulates you over and over, all but crushing your lungs with her excited hug.

"You did it Y/N!" She squeals, "We're all so proud of you, honey!"

When you turn to face San, a group of boys approaching the wings from behind him catches your eye, looking more like a blur than a band. One blonde boy in particular zips ahead of the others and catapults himself into San, arms latching onto him like a leech.

"Woo, what the hell?" Your unsuspecting partner exclaims, hugging him back nonetheless.

"You fuckin' killed it, man!" The blonde screams. The rest of the group engulfs San into a huddle and say the same thing, not paying any attention to the manager trying to remind them that idols shouldn't curse.

You recognize the seven rowdy men to be San's group, Ateez; you watch on with a fond smile as they praise his performance, slapping him on the back and ruffling his hair.

He fights his way out of their embrace and rolls his eyes, brushing himself off as if he didn't enjoy their congratulations.

The blonde boy notices you standing to the side and a sly grin crosses his face, head tilting to the side.

"And who might this beautiful lady be, Sannie?" He questions mischievously. You feel yourself blush beneath his curious stare, fiddling with the material of your dress, but San walks over to you in a few short strides and wastes no time in using two fingers to lift your chin upwards.

"This is Y/N," He says with a voice that reminds you of spiced cider, "the one I've been telling you guys about."

Your eyes widen. "You never said you talked about me..." You trail off at the flicker of want in his expression, mind blanking out.

He smirks back at you like he knows something you don't. "You never asked, princess."

You don't feel the seven pairs of clueless eyes on you when San brings your face closer to his; you don't even bother to remember that Mimi is still right behind you, nor do you care that the collaboration team is probably just around the corner.

All you can feel is San- his presence overpowering your senses and blocking out anything that isn't him.

"Choi San," You murmur dangerously, "if you don't kiss me right now, I think I might go insane."

He ignores the chorus of annoying ooh's from his friends and rests his other hand on the small of your back, tethering you to him. Your eyelids start to lower in expectation, hands finding their way into his hair; and you can feel his smirk long before your lips even touch.

"That won't be necessary, darling." He mutters as you finally, finally collide, every nerve ending on fire as he kisses you like a man starved. Wooyoung's wolf whistle falls on deaf ears as you kiss with more meaning than any romance movie couple you've seen on screen; your lips clash and melt and push and pull with a spark that only true dancers possess, the world around you disappearing instantly.

Even Mimi, your dedicated manager, has nothing to say to you when you eventually break apart, San's heated gaze keeping you trapped in his arms, and he can tell you've got tunnel vision too when your eyes never leave his.

Your heart thumps rapidly in your chest- but the pace is steady and sure, as if you've been kissing this man in front of your superiors all of your life. You're utterly entranced by the look of love and adoration that dances- pun intended- in his dark eyes; and in the split second it takes to realize the weight behind this kiss, you decide that you want this to last forever.

You're ready to be his.

"Y/N," San says softly, "I know we've got a lot to talk about if we want to make this work... but I can't walk away from you tonight without asking you one thing."

You raise an eyebrow, "What would that be?"

He traces your jawline with the tip of his finger, leaving sparks in its wake.

"Miss Priss," He says teasingly, the nickname stirring up your insides, "will you officially be mine?"

You reach up to press a swift, firm kiss to his lips, sealing your decision better than words ever could. You pull away with a grin that matches his own, and he thinks he's died and gone to heaven when you answer him, "I thought you'd never ask."

The seven boys watching the ordeal clap obnoxiously, cheering just as loud as the audience had been a few minutes ago, and San pulls you in to rest his forehead on your own.

"After all, you said it best yourself, Fireboy," You meet his stare confidently, "it takes two to tango."

And after twenty-five days of wanting and waiting, playing this game of cat and mouse- you finally get what you've truly desired since the moment you met Choi San.

You get to call him yours.

the end.

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