littlekathryn - Tumblr blog

[littlekathryn]

content warning:  in depth depictions of anxiety and a panic attack

       all kathryn could think was “what the fuck is going on?!” during the ordeal  -  which was quite a surprise in itself seeing as she very rarely, if ever, swears.

the lights flickering on  &  off is what had originally started the snowball effect. she’d never been good in the dark ( which is why daddy-dearest always used to leave the washroom light on during the night ). eyes dart from one person to the other as they start having unique experiences.

      “sorry, i thought i saw a bug.”                                     “are you okay?”                                             “i don’t know what’s happening.”          “are you okay?”                                                                   “are you okay?”

her heartbeat immediately changes in pace  -  pounding inside her chest so hard that the sound of it drowns out the rest of the commotion in the room. shaky hands raise to either sides of her head  &  fingers plug her ears. eyes close and she starts to count down from 100  -  just as her therapist taught her.

but then the glass starts to shatter.  &  all of her senses are shaken once again. she glances over at hedwig  -  who is noticeably in a large amount of pain. kathryn places a reassuring hand atop of his cast  &  offers a look of sympathy.  a shaky breath leaves her chapped lips.  “ i  -  i’m sorry, ”  she says quietly, rising to her feet.  sorry for what exactly?  ——  maybe for leaving so suddenly while her friend is in pain. maybe for having a panic attack. or perhaps for the entire evening all together.

and just as fast as the night fell into chaos, kathryn is gone. when she makes it out of the dining hall, she allows her body to stop holding on so tightly to composure  &  she’s a sobbing mess before making it even halfway to her room.

[littlekathryn]

›  featuring daphne,

while daphne didn’t mind an early morning, she hadn’t been expecting to be awoken so suddenly by kathryn insisting that she had a surprise. with a coat thrown over her pajamas and sleep still in her eyes, she gripped tight onto the girl’s hand as they walked closer to the edge of the cliffside. her heart ached at the kind gesture set before them, it had been a while since someone had done something so pure and thoughtful for her. not one for showing her emotions, daphne headed straight to one of the seats in eager search of food.

“so, you’re totally planning to push me off this cliff after breakfast, right?” she asked casually once they had settled down, taking a sip of her orange juice and glancing over to the other brunette.

       eyebrows raise dramatically  &  kathryn’s chuckle is laced with uncertainty as she can’t tell if that was a joke or not. “ n  -  no, not at all. ” she mimics the other  &  takes a sip of her drink. eyes glance out into the distance. “ i just wanted to share this nice moment, you know? i used to sneak out onto my roof when i was younger and watch the sunrise like this. but  ..  i never had anyone to share the moment with. ”  she rambles on.  “ did you sleep okay?  ——  before i woke you up. ”

[littlekathryn]

›  featuring elias,

“MIGHT AS WELL GO NOW.” he thought looked a little uncomfortable. he rolled with it though, figuring this girl could do with some cupcakes. just to loosen her up. 

“THANKS, BY THE WAY. FOR COMING WITH ME. THERAPY WENT WELL. I DIDN’T HAVE A MENTAL BREAK DOWN,SO I CONDSIDER THAT A WIN FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH, WHAT ABOUT YOU?”

       head nods in agreement to go now  -  she doesn’t remember the last time she had cupcakes and is admittedly very excited.  not entirely knowing where the shop it, she decides to let elias take the lead. she hums softly at his words  &  lets out a quiet chuckle. “ well, hey  -  it’s always a good day when you can avoid a mental breakdown. ”  eyebrows raise slightly when she’s asked how she is. “ i’m, uh  -  good. yeah. i’m good. ”   ———  " i just, uh  -  miss my family, you know? we weren’t really on good terms when i left. ” and that’s about as far as she gets into that conversation  -  elias isn’t a therapist after all. “ so, what’s your favourite kind of cupcake? ”

[littlekathryn]

›  featuring hedwig,

                he didn’t mind how early it was to be out of the house doing things ; he was a restless sleeper anyway , so getting out and actually doing something was welcomed with open arms . he had been surprised at her offer , sure , but couldn’t deny how nice it had felt to be thought of and to be included by her . while hedwig was the type to maintain his distance from others , he took her hand without a second thought . it was a foreign feeling , he was slightly surprised by himself when he did it , but it came naturally as he trusted her more than most others he had ever met , and of course he recognised that they could both help each other not to fall in this way .

hedwig was absolutely blown away when he laid eyes on the set up . he couldn’t believe how thoughtful kathyrn was , setting up a breakfast like this for them while they watched the sunrise . he felt a strange nervousness bubble up in his stomach , a wide - genuine - smile spreading over his face . he was almost completely speechless . “ this is the nicest thing , it’s - ” he struggled to find the words , following her actions as he picked up his own plate and sat down . “ it’s beautiful . ” he nodded , finally answering her earlier question . “ thank you for inviting me here , for doing all this , it’s - thank you . ” he was in shock at how kind the girl was , and at how lovely this morning was already .

          she can’t help but smile  -  giggle, almost  -  at his reaction.  teeth gently bite down on her bottom lip. “ yeah? you like it? ”  kathryn moriarty was no stranger to random acts of kindness. doing sweet things for other people was in her nature  &  she found great joy in doing it; for this exact reason, in fact. her favourite part about doing nice things was seeing their reaction afterwards. it’s priceless.

“ i’m always glad to spend time with you, ” she says, though there’s an odd feeling that grew in her chest shortly afterwards  &  her cheeks, warm to the touch, turned a hue of red. attention stays down at her plate of food as she continues: “ i wasn’t too sure what kind of foods you like so i just made the most average breakfast  ..  i hope it’s okay. ”

[littlekathryn]

›  featuring spider

    »   being   awake   at   5:45am  is  not   out   of  the   ordinary  for   spider  -  though  it’s  never  because she’s  waking  up  at  that  hour  of  the  day.  it’s  more  the  fact  she  almost always,  hasn’t  slept  at  all  through  the  night.  it  feels  more  like  late  afternoon  to  her  at  that  point. normally,  she  wouldn’t even  consider  holding hands  with  someone she  didn’t  know  all  that  well,  but  her  feet  are  a  little  unsteady on  the  ground, so  she  gladly takes  it  for  the  stabilisation.  her  eyes  widen, not  at  the  view  of  the  sunrise but  at  the  little  viewing area  that  the  other  girl  had  set  up  for  the  two  of  them.  it  was  awfully  considerate -  not  something the  dark-haired  girl  was  used  to.  ❝ it  is  beautiful.  i  can’t  remember the  last  time  i  was  able  to  enjoy  something like  this, ❞  she  says,  picking  up  her  plate  and  taking a  seat.  the  food  smells delicious,  but  she  waits  for  the  other  to  start  eating  before she  touches  it.  ❝ i  think  you  were  onto  something. it’s  definitely  best  to  experience these  kinds  of  things  with  other  people. well,  the  ones  you  can  trust  anyway, ❞  she  adds,  a  little defensively,  as  if  she’s  too  afraid  to  show  that  she’s  letting her  guard  down  a  little.

       a wide smile grows on her lips  -  kathryn can’t help but feel sad at the other’s words. had no one done something nice for her before? the thought had almost brought a tear to her eye but she manages to get too emotional  &  caught up in her thoughts, spider continues to talk. the brunette nods. “ yeah  -  when i was younger, i used to sneak out onto my roof around this time. i think that’s what i miss most about home, ”  she takes a sip of her drink before placing it in between her legs. “ i know what you mean  ..  about the whole trusting thing. ” kathryn had her fair share of shitty experiences with shitty people in her day. it’s honestly a surprise she’s still trusting of those she doesn’t know very well  —  maybe she’s naive. or maybe she just has a little too much faith in the kindness of others.

" how, uh  ..  how are the eggs? ”   ——   “ i’ve never been much of a cook myself so i didn’t really know how long to keep them on for  ..  so i hope they’re at least somewhat edible. ”  she chuckles quietly.

[littlekathryn]

›  featuring kira,

ever since she was a little girl, kira was an early riser. the world just seemed to come alive before others woke up, and, if she were honest, she enjoyed the feeling of solitude that came with watching the sun rise by herself from the comfort of her room, cup of tea in hand. but when kathryn asked her to tag along in the morning, it was almost impossible for her to decline. who was she to say no to silent company? and so, they walked, the sound of the world waking up around them filling her with a sense of calm before they even reached their destination. her expression softened from focus when she saw the setup kathryn had made for them. “oh my gosh…it’s perfect.” she sits in the unclaimed chair and grabs the orange juice, wrapping herself in a blanket and curling up to get comfortable. “i want to start everyday like this.” she looked at her friend. “thank you. for inviting me. i really…really needed this.” there was a weight that lived in her chest and would not leave ever since she stepped into the castaways mansion, something urging her to stay, and something else trying to push her out the door. 

       head tilts slightly  &  a sweet smile grows on her lips. “ of course. if i’m being honest, i really needed it too. ” no matter how hard kathryn tried to put how she felt into words, there was simply no way to describe what was going on inside her  -  mentally, physically, spiritually. it was something she’d never felt before. a mish-mash of a hundred different feelings all in one.

peace and quiet was always therapeutic to the femme. when she was back at home, she would spend countless hours on walks to god-knows where. she just wandered. anywhere was better than being at home. “ are you okay, though? ” she asks hesitantly before turning towards kira. “ do you  ..  want to talk about it? ”

[littlekathryn]

@castawaystart​

location:  the cliffside, 5:45am

       “ i know it’s early but i wanted to show you something— ”  says kathryn as she guides the other towards the cliffside. as the ground gets rockier, she offers her hand towards the other as a means of stabilization  -  the last thing she wants is for either of them to get injured. an hour or so prior to this moment, the brunette had set up a small viewing area with a blanket, two chairs  &  a breakfast (which was just scrambled eggs, a piece of toast and a glass of orange juice) sitting on plates atop of said chairs. “ isn’t it beautiful? ” referring to the view.

she picks up her plate  &  sits in one of the two chairs. “ i wanted to watch the sunrise, by the way  ..  and i thought it would be better to watch it with someone, in case you were wondering why i asked you to tag along. ”

[littlekathryn]

›  featuring elias,

“I’VE BEEN IN THERAPY FOR AN HOUR, SO I’M DESPERATE. YOU WANNA HEAD TO TWO FAT CATS BAKERY WITH ME? THEIR CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES ARE FUCKING SCRUMPTIOUS.”

       eyebrows raise slightly at the graphic language the other uses to describe how good the cupcakes are.  she wants to ask how therapy went as a means of being nice  -  and it feels strange not to ask  -  but she decides against it as to not potentially make him uncomfortable.  kathryn’s face softens  &  there’s a hint of a smile on her lips as she says: “ i’d love to go, ”  head tilts slightly. “ i actually don’t think i’ve ever been but if there as good as you say  ..  it’d be silly to say no. ”   ———  “ would you like to go now, or—? ”

[littlekathryn]

[littlekathryn]

hey look, it's kathryn moriarty! they’re a twenty-five year old originally from niagara falls, canada. i heard they’re pretty forgetful, but i think they’re so warmhearted at the same time. they had no idea what they were getting themselves into when they signed up for the castaways program.

connection ideas ♡

connections in play ♡

— QUICK STATS.

full name:  kathryn annette moriarty

nicknames:  kat, sunflower (by her father)

age:  25 years old

gender, pronouns:  cis woman, she/her

sexuality:  bisexual

faceclaim:  natalia dyer

— PREFACE.

warning:  brief mentions of religion, bullying & anxiety

kathryn moriarty had a reputation to maintain from the second she was born. being a preacher’s daughter meant that she had no other choice but to fit the mold set in place for you. sit up straight, hair perfect, legs crossed, no cussing, pray every morning and night, no boys, good grades, good attitude, pretty face & prettier smile. years of obedience taught young kathryn not to speak up for herself and in turn, she got bullied relentlessly  -  she was the perfect target: she took it and never talked back.

the beginning of high school was when she got professionally diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, though her father never let word of this get out to anyone outside of their family. a moriarty with any type of problems? absolutely not! and because of her father’s fear of the word somehow getting out, kathryn was unable to go to therapy or be prescribed medication to help with it (as if anyone would have had a way of finding that out).

she first saw the castaway house by total accident and she thanks her lucky stars that she misclicked the link. she immediately saw the house as her escape from her family  -  from the mold they forced her into. and with the priority of caring for the ill, kathryn saw it as an opportunity to finally properly deal with her disorder. she never told anyone she was planning on leaving. one day, kathryn was there and the next, she was gone.

it’s been exactly 3 months since kathryn arrived at the house. still to this day, she feels extremely bad about vanishing from her family but she doesn’t regret her decision to do so.

[littlekathryn]

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#𝑳𝑰𝑻𝑻𝑳𝑬𝑲𝑨𝑻𝑯𝑹𝒀𝑵 is a dependent writing blog happily affiliated with castawaysfm     /     brought to life by amanda [ twenty, she/her ]

KATHRYN, M.    ♡     introduction, interactions, connection ideas