#I genuinely only think about the same like seven lisa characters i’m so sorry

[olgunny]

BUH

[365days365movies]

April 12, 2021: Mrs. Doubtfire (1992) (Recap)

Hey, Robin Williams. Been a while.

I’m sorry that I haven’t watched your movies for a while, and that I always skip your comedy stand-up when my phone’s on shuffle. I just...let me explain. Since I was a kid, you were one of my favorite entertainers. That might as well have started the day I was born, because...well, we share a birthday, fun fact. But it definitely continued with the first movie I ever saw in theatres.

While I don’t quite remember the first time I saw it, Aladdin was one of my favorite childhood movies, and I knew that you were the voice of the Genie from an early age. You might have actually been the first actor I ever knew by name. Which makes sense, because your stardom during the ‘90s was nearly unparalleled.

The next film I remember seeing (and hearing) you in was Ferngully: The Last Rainforest. That also starred Tim Curry, who would also be a major figure of my childhood. It also wasn’t the best movie, in hindsight, but it is the only time I’ve heard you rap since.

But eventually, I watched your forays into live-action, too. Jumanji, Hook, even the objectively bad Flubber, are all movies that I vividly remember watching during childhood. I was really excited for Flubber, even, and I LOVED Jumanji growing up. I liked Hook, too, but I appreciated that more as I got older.

Of course, during this time period, you also made less family-friendly films. The Fisher King, Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, Good Morning Vietnam, and What Dreams May Come were all very successful, and cemented your reputation as an actor. I also haven’t seen any of them. In fact...I don’t think I’ve seen any of your dramatic roles, and that’s something that I’ll fix this year. Hell, in a few days, I’ll watch The Birdcage, another of your big hits of the ‘90s.

But why haven’t I seen them up to now? Well...I was going to watch these films, about seven years ago. But...I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. Because it hurts. A lot.

I know that this is a downer, but my relationship with Robin Williams today is tainted by his tragic death. I was fucking BROKEN when his death was announced, and I really haven’t been able to watch him since. I’ve seen Aladdin recently, but that’s about all I could stand to watch. I mean, the guy shares a birthday with me! I’ve always loved his comedy stylings, and his improvisational skills are something I’ve internalized to a certain degree.

So, yeah. This one’s tough. But, it’s about time I moved on, and celebrated the man’s career for what it was: stellar. And that also brings up an important question, that some of you have probably asked by now:

HOW HAVE I MISSED MRS. DOUBTFIRE, WHAT THE FUCK

I KNOW I KNOW OK?

Look, I’m not entirely sure how I haven’t seen this movie, because I’m MORE than aware of it! I remember it airing during the ‘90s, my Dad AND girlfriend love this movie, and I know FOR A FACT that my family owned both the DVD AND THE VHS of this movie! So, how? HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN IT BY NOW?

I honestly have no idea, but let’s fix it now, huh? Yet one more man-dresses-as-woman movie this month! And no, I am not watching White Chicks...because I’ve already seen White Chicks. Also, it’s...problematic.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

 Recap

Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) is a voice-actor, and a good one. Which, given that it’s Robin Williams, isn’t entirely inaccurate. He’s also a voice actor with a spine, as he morally objects to a scene in the cartoon that he’s performing for, in which the main character smokes. By the way, I’m 99% sure that this cartoon is animated by Chuck Jones, and it looks well-made.

Anyway, this leads to him quitting the cartoon altogether, and allows him to pick up his kids early from school. These kids are Lydia (Lisa Hykub), Chris (Matthew Lawrence), and Natalie (Mara Wilson), and it’s Chris’ 12th birthday. Daniel arranges a...surprisingly large party, given that it’s completely impromptu, and it comes with a petting zoo and complete trappings. However, it’s not a party of which his wife will approve.

This wife is Miranda (Sally Field), a successful architect and the breadwinner of the family. After getting a call from the neighbor about the party, she comes home and busts the outrageous party. And for the record, I’m entirely on Miranda’s side here. This party is INSANE, and very irresponsible, given the fact that Daniel currently has no job. And yeah, he’s a very loving father, and a good person, but...it’s too much.

Miranda feels the same, and after 14 years of frustration, she realizes that she no longer loves Daniel. In a genuinely sad scene, she tells him that she wants a divorce. And she goes through with it MUCH to Daniel’s detriment. He has no home, as he’s staying with his brother, Frank (Harvey Fierstein) and his partner Jack (Scott Capurro). He also still has no job, meaning that he has no way to provide for his children. This means that he has no ability to provide, and the judge awards Miranda full custody. Oof.

However, this is a conditional arrangement, as another hearing for joint custody will be held in 3 months, and if Daniel can get a home and job in that time, he has a chance. He performs a litany of voices and impressions with his court liason, Mrs. Sellner (Anne Haney), which amuses me, but not her, and he gets a job in order to be with his kids for more than one day a week.

Meanwhile, Miranda IMMEDIATELY starts dating fellow designer and old flame Stuart Dunmeyer (Pierce Brosnan), like, almost before Daniel leaves the house. He bids a heartfelt goodbye to his kids, with the promise that he’ll see them on Saturdays. And now begins the absolute hatred and petty bitchiness of Daniel and Miranda! Seriously, it’s...it’s fucking terrible, and it takes away from my sympathy from either side. I get that divorce is rough and ugly, but GODDAMN, neither of them perform the act with any form of tact or grace.

This is put on display during the kids’ visitation to Daniel’s semi-crappy new apartment, which doesn’t even seem that bad, to be honest. Miranda dropped them off late and picked them up early, as if to slowly starve Daniel of time with his kids, which is extraordinarily shitty of her, fuck me. Daniel’s not taking it well, understandably, but then does something...really dumb, when you think about it.

See, Miranda’s looking for a nanny, to help watch the kids and clean the house during the week. Daniel volunteers his services, which is actually a good idea, but Miranda says she’ll think about it, which we ALL know means no. I DO NOT like Miranda, even if I understand the initial reasons for the divorce. She’s being especially spiteful, and it’s not a good look.

Daniel’s stupid idea, though, is to change the phone number on the ad for the nanny, which Miranda shows him before she takes the kids. Instead, he calls her number, and pretends to be various terrible applicants, until finally supplying his own applicant: the completely fictional Euphegenia Doubtfire (Daniel Hillard).

Daniel plays Mrs. Doubtfire as an elderly British woman, and a seasoned nanny in her day. Which is why it’s weird to me that, when he does to Frank and Jack to help him make an elaborate disguise as Mrs. Doubtfire, that they go through various other impressions and get-ups. Which, yes, is goddamn hilarious, but also makes NO SENSE, given that they’ve already established her character to Miranda. Funny, but nonsensical.

But, regardless, Euphegenis Doubtfire comes into being, and introduces herself to Miranda and the kids. Mrs. Doubtfire is exactly what Miranda’s looking for, although the kids aren’t exactly overjoyed, ESPECIALLY the oldest, Lydia. Also, during this first meeting, Miranda openly bad-mouths Daniel in front of the kids, in just the WORST fuckin’ way. I genuinely dislike Miranda A LOT. Again, the divorce was certainly justified, but I REALLY don’t like her. Daniel loves his kids, and they’re HIS kids, TOO. Stop using them as weapons against him, OOOOOOOOOOOH I DON’T LIKE MIRANDA

Anyway, that evening, after she’s officially been hired by Miranda, Mrs. Doubtfire heads home, only to find court liason Mrs. Sellner waiting to speak with Daniel. After a litany of puns, and a humorous changing scene, Daniel accidentally throws the Mrs. Doubtfire mask out of the window, and is forced to improvise through equally humorous circumstances. Hence, the above meringue mask scene. Has anybody tried that, by the way? Could that work as a groundbreaking beauty technique? Or would the sugar just feed the skin bacteria and give you acne? Genuinely curious.

Now going between his job as Daniel and the nanny job as Doubtfire, Daniel’s not doing too badly for himself. The nanny job begins, and Mrs. Doubtfire IMMEDIATELY contrasts with Daniel, creating a disciplinarian atmosphere in place of Daniel’s formerly loosey-goosey attitude. Which is interesting, and it works! I mean, it’s not how I would parent, but it does work. Doubtfire makes the kids to their homework, rather than watch TV, and then attempts to make dinner. Instead, though, the dinner’s ruined, and Daniel orders takeout and makes it LOOK like homemade food. And it looks good, too! Daniel’s full of hidden talents.

After dinner, as Mrs. Doubtfire’s leaving, Lydia apologizes for backtalking her earlier, and thanks her for making her mom happy with everything she did that evening. he also says that she’s still a bit messed up about her dad being gone. And yeah, it’s sweet-but-sad. 

Going forward (and in a montage set to Aerosmith’s Dude Looks Like a Lady), Mrs. Doubtfire takes care of the family, and Daniel even betters himself to become a better Mrs. Doubtfire. Which...to be honest, Daniel REALLY should’ve done this before. I get that he needed the pressure of losing the kids to do this, but...look, Daniel really wasn’t that responsible of a parent, and the fact that THIS is how he learns to be so is...not great. Like, here’s an example, OK: take Donald Trump.

Yeah, I know, what’s this politics doing in my peanut butter? And WOW, that reference is older than me, but anyway. Let’s say that, in two years, a new politician comes on the scene, and her name is Karyn Walldottir. She has somewhat centrist views, and behaves in a way that’s inclusive to the majority, and backs up her claims and promises with evidence (at least true enough for us to suspend our disbelief). This is, of course, Donald Trump disguised as a woman in order to gain custody of the United States of America again. Naturally.

Karyn Walldottir gets elected in 2024, and all of her policies are markedly different from Trump’s and Biden’s, but leaning closer to Biden in progressive standpoints (assuming that that worked for him come 2024). While Trump is doing this specifically to be president again, he ends up revising his personal policies, and being a better person and president for the country. A literal impossibility, I know. But suspend your disbelief to ask this question:

WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T HE DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

OK, now that that dumbass (and mildly horrifying) thought process is concluded, let’s get back to Mrs. Doubtfire. In the process of Mrs. Doubtfire’s ingratiation with the family, Miranda’s been dating Stu, whom Mrs. Doubtfire subtly insults when they meet. And yeah, Daniel’s being a little petty here, but it makes a bit of sense at least.

That night, after an accidental intrusion by Chris when Mrs. Doubtfire is going to the bathroom, Daniel’s basically forced to tell Chris and Lydia his little secret, which Lydia’s happy about, but Chris is understandably weirded out about. But, they agree to keep the secret from their mom and younger sister.

At his OTHER job, delivering film reels from a TV station, he witnesses the filming of an extremely boring kids educational TV show, and comments as such to another man watching. As he quickly learns, this is the owner of the station, Jonathan Lundy (Robert Prosky), on whom Daniel makes a good impression.

In the meantime, Mrs. Doubtfire has a talk with Miranda about their love lives, real and fictional. Daniel realizes how badly Miranda had been suffering in their marriage, which she never told him because...well, he never seemed to take anything seriously. Which is entirely fair...but this is why Miranda’s a tricky-ass character. She’s got two sides: there’s the justified caring mother and strong woman, and there’s the PETTY ASSHOLE who genuinely doesn’t care about Daniel or his feelings AT ALL. Jesus.

And Stu...look, Stu is LITERALLY a Gary Stu, who’s mostly perfect. Sure, he’s not always been that way, but he definitely is now! He’s responsible, wealthy, in love with Miranda AND her kids. And yeah, at a country club that he’s a member of (OF COURSE he is), he privately badmouth Daniel in front of Mrs. Doubtfire, calling him a loser, and...yeah, he’s not really unjustified in that statement. Fact of the matter is, Stu is barely even a plot device.

Meanwhile, in Daniel’s day job, he finds himself alone in the studio, where the toy dinosaurs from the TV show are still sitting on the table. He plays with them, gives them voices, sings some songs, and impresses Mr. Lundy, who’s there in the shadows after all that. He’s impressed, and invites Daniel to dinner to talk about a potential future show at the network.

But then, it’s also Miranda’s birthday coming up, and Stu’s holding a dinner for her, to which Mrs. Doubtfire is invited. Trouble is, it’s at the OH FUCK IT. YOU know what this is. It’s at the same time and place as the Mr. Lund meeting yaddayaddayadda LOOK. We ALL know how this is going to end. It’s the GODDAMN LIAR REVEALED TROPE AGAIN. And here’s the thing:

I FUGGIN’ HAAAAAATE THE LIAR REVEALED TROPE

You know, that thing in movies (especially family movies of the ‘90s) where somebody starts off a situation with a lie, they get deeper and deeper into that lie, grow close to people under false pretenses, and then OH NO! THE LIAR IS REVEALED! And everybody’s angry and/or sad, the liar slumps off, defeated and broken, but then realizes the error of his ways, while everybody else realizes the same thing, and he comes back to vindicate himself, and is welcomed back with open arms. And it introduces unneeded tension AND I HAVE ALWAYS FUCKING HATED IT.

Let’s list the examples, shall we? A Bug’s Life, Aladdin, Mulan, The Road to El Dorado, Chicken Run, How to Train Your Dragon, Klaus, Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, Megamind (SUBVERSIVE MY ASS), Over the Hedge, Rango, Toy Story, Steven Universe (the whole Pearl/Sardonyx arc, which went on for WAY too long), the list goes on and fucking on. And I GODDAMN HATE IT. Not to say it can’t be done well. Disney actually usually does a pretty good job with it, and Dreamworks uses it A LOT, but almost always pretty well. But sometimes...GOD. Either way, it’s still used FAR too fucking much. And look. Here’s another one. Joy.

Look, at this point...I will freely admit that I'm biased against this trope, but it’s also obvious where this is headed. Basically, Daniel switches back and forth between the dinner with the family, and the dinner with Mr. Lundy. With Mr. Lundy, he gets absolutely SMASHED. Great. Great decision, Daniel.

So, yeah, Mrs. Doubtfire’s also smashed, which is pretty goddamn apparent to them all. At this point, I’m wondering why Daniel, as Mrs. Doubtfire, didn’t just say she was sick as hell, and had to go home. Or, considering the fact that Daniel proposes her as a show idea regardless, the switch wasn’t even necessary! And that means that none of what’s about to happen, happens. Or, here’s a crazy thought, maybe Daniel shouldn’t have POISONED STU’S FOOD WITH CAYENNE PEPPER THAT HE’S ALLERGIC TO! 

YEAH! Because that causes Stu to go into anaphylactic shock for a hot sec, causing him to choke. Mrs. Doubtfire does the right thing and gives him the Heimlich maneuver, and in the process, SURPRISE! IT’S BEEN DANIEL ALL ALONG! BUH BUH BUHHHHH DA DA DA DAAAAA DA

Yeah, so Miranda is understandably ENRAGED by this revelation, and it’s all over. Daniel represents himself in court at the custody hearing, but the judge deems his “lifestyle” dangerous for children. Which...yikes, Judge, that statement didn’t age well AT FUCKING ALL. But, given Daniel’s admitted stupidity with this whole idea, he’s not wrong about the dangerous part. But, I have to say, Daniel’s speech in his own defense is nice...although he also says he’s addicted to his children, so let’s throw a second yikes on there for good measure.

The speech moves Miranda...but not enough to prevent Daniel has his custody stripped away from him! GOD THEY BOTH SUUUUUUUUCK. Daniel’s a broken man, and Miranda and the kids are similarly broken without him and Mrs. Doubtfire. However...Daniel’s career isn’t broken AT ALL, as Mrs. Doubtfire is now a kid’s show host! Yeah! And she’s a hit! And again, it brings me to wonder why Daniel DIDN’T APPLY HIS OBVIOUS TALENTS LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE

Realizing that she made a mistake, she goes to the set during the filming of a show. She congratulates him on the show, and he replies by stating how broken he is now! Thanks, Miranda! Well, after an argument, and after Miranda sees how badly she’s messed up someone she used to care for, they come to an agreement: joint custody. FINALLY GODDAMN IT

And good, because I don’t want them back together. I have to give this film props for that: they acknowledge that these two are NOT good for each other, and they deliver a message in the end: families are families, no matter how they’re shaped. One mom, one dad, uncle or aunt, grandparents, adoption, two separated or divorced parents...oh, also, two dads or two moms. Yeah, that isn’t said in Mrs. Doubtfire’s final monologue, which is odd considering Daniel’s brother and his life partner...but it’s also kid’s TV in the ‘90s, so I guess that sadly makes sense. And with that, and their new family arrangement, Daniel takes his kids on an afternoon out, as himself.

...Look. That’s Mrs. Doubtfire, yaddayaddayadda LOOK. I don’t dislike this movie. In fact, here: have this mini-Review:

Cast and Acting - 9/10: Good, although Brosnan was a little stiff.

Plot and Writing - 5/10: It’s an idiot plot, what can I say? It’s actually based off of a book, which was a surprise to me, but it was adapted by Randi Mayem Singer and Leslie Dixon, and...eh. Still an idiot plot.

Directing and Cinematography - 8/10: It’s Chris Columbus, you get what you get. Definitely has that Home Alone flair to it.

Production and Art Design - 8/10: I mean, yeah, the Doubtfire disguise was good most of the time, but...I dunno, I could still tell it was Robin. But, still, it was good. Took 4 hours of makeup, fun fact.

Music and Editing - 8/10: Music by Howard Shore (ooh, Howard Shore!) was pretty nice, especially the ending theme. Editing by Raja Gosnell was...RAJA GOSNELL???

OH GOD. Yeah, OK, I see what happened here. Also, I didn’t know he was an editor! I just know him as the director of the Scooby-Doo films, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, The Smurfs films, Big Momma’s...

...OK, no, I am not doing Big Momma’s House OR the Madea movies. THE TROPE-BUCK STOPS HERE! I am moving on to something else! But, of course, I have to sum this up in a Review. See you there!

[deanssweetheart23]

Against All Odds - Part II

Title: Against All Odds: A Kiss To Build A Dream On (Part II) Series Rewrite

Summary: Dean knows their relationship is doomed when he meets her just a few months before going to Hell. Fate intervenes.

Author: deanssweetheart23

Characters: Dean Winchester x reader

Word count: 2333

Warnings: Fluff. Angst. Implied smut. References to hell, loss and grief. Slight canon divergence (there’s no Lisa).

Author’s Notes: This is the second part of a seven-part series rewrite going from season 3 to season 11. It’s also my submission  for the 31 for 31 Challenge by my love @torn-and-frayed‘s 31 for 31 Challenge –my prompt will be used in the next part. Special thank you to my sunflower @trexrambling for betaing this for me, she is the best <3

Guys, thank you so much for reading and loving this story as much as you do. I’m sorry I didn’t update earlier, but it’s been a rough few weeks. I am back, though, and I plan on posting the next parts sooner (and I’m working on something big to share with y’all).

Without further ado. Enjoy <3

Dean’s used to losing people.

He’s used to seeing the ones he cares about caught in the middle of crossfire because the angels and the demons have petty things to do with their time.

He’s used to being treated as God’s pawn, nothing but a soldier to help him in the greater scheme of things.

He’s used to grief.

In fact, he knows grief better than anyone, knows it in all its depth and darkness, in its hallowing emptiness and terrifying immensity, in the haste of whiskey and its cold, sleepless nights.

Dean knows grief, but when he loses Sam, he loses parts of himself with him, loses chunks of flesh and bits of soul he’s sure he’ll never recover. His entire existence had always been revolving around one simple request: Look out for Sammy.

And who is he if there’s no Sammy to look out for?

He takes a deep breath, runs a hand over his face roughly.

Ahead of him the state line stretches, but he’s not worried; he knows exactly which exit to take.

If anything, he’s stopped by her house multiple times since those three days they spent together over a year ago. He never talked to her, of course, never built up the courage to knock on her door and go inside, tell her how he really felt, how he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her after the nights they spent tangled in each other, those long walks by the beach, the coffee-laced kisses they’d stolen over breakfast in bed.

No, Dean never told her any of it, but he still drove past her house, the home she had without him, to make sure she was okay, safe and happy and cared for.

A car honks its horn behind him.

He blinks, slows down.

He wonders whether he should turn right.

He wonders whether he deserves to turn right, deserves to drive to her house and waltz into her life again, a mess even greater than Jay had been.

He wonders if he has the right.

The car honks again, louder this time.

He promised Sam.

He promised.

Besides, she’s the only person he wants to see.

He makes the turn.

He’s standing outside her door twenty minutes later, ringing the bell two minutes after that. Its sound travels across the rooms immeasurably, followed by the padding of feet against bare wood. The vibrations are familiar and they send him reeling, bring back memories of her in his oversized shirt, pacing the floor as he made dinner, a pout on her lips because he’d just made fun of her feet, clad in a pair of fuzzy socks in the most disturbing shade of pink he’d ever seen.

He waits for one, two, three long seconds, and then.

“Dean?” His name falls from her lips in a whisper, timid and startled and sweet, and it takes him back to the night they’d shared their first kiss, the way she’d called for him as he tasted her on his mouth, certain that nothing would ever feel as good as she did in that moment.

He tries to smile.

It wobbles right off.

“Hey, Doc.”

A shaky breath.

Brows arched in a way he finds absolutely endearing.

“Is everything alright?” she asks, arms wrapped around her middle. “That call you gave me a few weeks ago…” She pushes some hair from her face, takes a step forward. “It got me a little worried.”

He nods.

Their conversation, dragged and raw, echoes soundlessly in his mind.

“Dean?” he hears her ask over the phone, worried, skeptical. “Tahini said you called, but I was in surgery. What’s going on?”

Dean hesitates.

He shouldn’t be doing this, he thinks. Not after the way they left things. Not with the Apocalypse looming over their heads. And yet, he feels like a weight’s been lifted off his shoulders as her voice washes over him, feels like he’s Dean again, not the righteous man or Michael’s vessel, not a warrior destined for great things.

Just Dean.

“Nothing, I just… I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Honestly… Things are about to get really bad, Doc.”

“Bad?” she repeats, incredulous. “What do you mean bad? Dean, what’s going on?”

“I, uh… You’re gonna see stuff on TV. Scary stuff. But I don’t want you to worry. Whatever happens, you’re gonna be okay. M’ gonna make sure of that.”

The silence that follows is thick, taut.

She draws in a heavy breath. “I don’t understand. Have you been drinking?”

He lets out a bitter laugh, shakes his head a little. “No. Look, I know I sound crazy, but I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”

“Yeah,” she says after a long pause. “Yes. Just… Come over. Please. I’m worried about you.”

“No, don’t… Don’t do that. I know the life that I live, Doc. I know how that’s gonna end for me.”

“Dean–”

“S’ alright. I don’t mind. Not anymore. I just… I wanted you to know… When I do picture myself happy… S’ with you.”

He’d regretted the words the moment he hung up, had cursed himself for sneaking into the shadows of her life again only to say goodbye, but he’d been desperate, about to say yes to Michael and he needed to hear her voice, needed some kind of closure.

“Dean?” she repeats, face sculpted with concern. “Are you okay?”

His gaze slides to the empty space next to him.

Darkness wraps its way around his heart.

“M’ fine,” he lies, a lie that’s been ingrained into his jabbed heart by now.

She hums.

The look she gives him is enough to let him know she doesn’t believe him.

“Tell you what,” she starts, a reluctant smile softening her unease, “s’ getting dark outside and you look like you could use a drink.” She steps aside, lets him steal a glimpse of her empty living room. “Wanna come in?”

He lets out air through his nose, not quite a laugh. “Yeah.” He runs a hand over his face. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

She smiles then, perhaps the most genuine smile he’s gotten out of her that evening, and, with her eyes locked on his, she reaches for his hand, manipulates their fingers until they’re intertwined.

And, just for a second, he swears he can almost breathe freely again.

Six months pass.

Dean moves into the small cottage with her, finds a respectable job at a construction-sight nearby. He tells her everything about his old life the day before he signs the contract, speaks to her about monsters and angels and demons, about Sam’s sacrifice.

He’s reluctant to, at first, worries that he’ll lose her just like he lost Cassie, but he can’t really be with her if she doesn’t know, can’t allow himself to become a concrete part of her life without making sure she wants him, wants every dark and guilty part he keeps hidden.

She does.

It surprises him a little, because he’s not used to people choosing him, not used to being loved so wholly and unconditionally by someone, but he gives himself over to her, trusts her with everything he’s got because he can tell how much she loves him.

It’s written across her skin every time she traces his scars with her fingertips, etched on her body as it wraps its way around him at nights. It’s there when she goes grocery shopping for him and it’s there when she tries to make him laugh, no matter how bad her day had been. It’s always there and it’s comforting and arduous at the same time, because he knows he has her, knows he’s finally managed to have something good in his life while his brother is burning in the Cage.

Sammy’s burning, and he is in love.

Soft lips press themselves against his neck, will his guilt away.

He closes his eyes in a shudder, despite himself.

“A quarter past six,” he mumbles, eyes glancing at the clock etched on the kitchen wall as he places his hand over hers.

Y/N’s just returned from her morning run –a habit of hers that reminds him so much of Sammy it hurts– and he can feel a thin layer of sweat against his body as she stays close along his back, can feel her heat sinking into him.

“Not bad for a slow poke,” he adds when he turns around, enveloping her in his arms.

“Shut up.” She nuzzles his clothed skin, almost sighs in content when he presses a lingering kiss on her forehead. A heartbeat passes, and then, “You’re up early. S’ your day off, isn’t it?”

He hums.

Without looking up he says, “Couldn’t sleep.” He runs a hand over his face, wonders whether he should say more. “S’, uh… S’ six months today.”

The statement hangs between them, dark, heavy, and, for a second, he almost regrets putting it into words, worries that she won’t know how to navigate her way through it, how he needs her to respond.

But she does.

She always does.

She cups the side of his neck, runs her thumb over his skin soothingly. “I know.” Her eyes drift to the griddle in front of them, the ingredients scattered on the counter. “Tell you what, let me take care of this. I got some time before I leave for work.”

He grins a little, pulls her closer. “Yeah, you should use that time to shower.” His fingers tangle in the bandana she’s using to keep her hair in a bun. He takes it off, lets it fall onto her shoulders unceremoniously, wild and unruly like a bird’s nest.

He loves it.

“You stink.”

“That’s the price of staying fit, smartass.” She reaches for the cupboards, pulls out her favorite mug. “What are you making anyway?”

He hands her the coffee pot.

Nonchalantly, he says, “Pancakes.”

“Pancakes?”

“Uh huh.”

“Do they have chocolate chips?”

He nods, tries to keep a straight face as he leans in and whispers, “And peanut butter,” like it’s the filthiest thing he’s ever told her.

“Hmmm,” she lifts her mug, sips some of her coffee. “Knew I loved you for a reason, D.”

“C’mere,” he mumbles, a secret smile playing at the corners of his lips as he lifts her onto the counter, clasps a hand at the side of her neck.

He kisses her then, deep and ardent and bold, too bold for it to be a brief morning kiss, and she sighs into it, lets him drag her closer to the edge of the counter until it all becomes too much, and he breaks it off, buries his face into the crook of her neck.

“Thank you about last night, by the way,” he rasps out afterwards.

He can feel her smile at that, can feel the warmth of it seeping into him and his mind drifts back to the night before, the feel of her pressed up against his arms, the Tillamook Rock Lighthouse standing striking, commanding, miles away from him, the way its light brought the ocean to life.

They were supposed to go to her friend’s birthday party, but there was a kid there that reminded him so much of Sam he couldn’t stay for longer than an hour, and she’d agreed to leave without a second thought, had apologized to Tahini and walked out with him, her hand running soothing circles over his back.

A hum.

Gentle fingers stroking his cheek.

“Anytime, D.” She kisses the top of his head. “You know that.”

And Dean does know that, but he hates this, hates being so useless, so absolutely weak, a dead weight wrapped around her body that can only ruin her.

“Alright-” she straightens her back, makes sure to meet his gaze- “what is it?”

His eyes drift to the counter.

He licks his lips. “S’ just…” He runs a hand over his face, lets out a dark laugh. “I know how hard it was to take care of Jay after Iraq and I don’t want… I hate that I’m putting you through it again.”

She leans a bit closer, takes his hand firmly in hers.

“D, you just lost your brother.” The words are a statement more than anything, brimming with empathy and heartache. “I am not expecting this relationship to be all rainbows and butterflies, just like I’m not expecting you to give up on hunting just because you live here. And I’m not comparing you to Jay.”

“Kid–”

“No, I know we’ve talked about this before, but I just–” she juts her chin– “I need you to understand that all I want is to be with you.” Her thumb smooths over his jaw. “I don’t care if you’re a hunter or a construction worker or a frigging astronaut.” She tips her forehead against his temple. “M’ in love with you.” They kiss again, softer this time. “And, for the record–” she jabs a finger at him– “you’re the best man I could have ever asked for, okay?”

He smiles, a smile that’s broken and real and torn around the edges.

“God, you’re…” He takes his hand in hers, and grips. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Doc.”

She laughs.

The sound reminds him of sunlight falling through the trees on a dark path.

“The best?”

“Yup.”

She smirks, slants her eyebrow, and he can feel the tension of the morning scattering around them like dust.

“Better than meeting Dr. Sexy?”

“Obviously.”

“And the Cartwright twins?”

He squints at her. “How do you even know about that?”

“I have my sources.”

“You’ve read the books, haven’t you?”

“Maybe,” she shrugs.

“Doc–” his lips find their way against her throat, familiar, demanding– “you’re so much better than the Cartwright twins.” When she chuckles, he can feel it reverberating deep into his lungs.

He falls a bit deeper in love with her after that day.

Forever tags: @jpadjackles @supernatural-jackles @trexrambling @percywinchester27 @torn-and-frayed @atwistoffate @there-must-be-a-lock @masksandtruths @princess-shurii @lipstickandwhiskey @sunlightdances @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @ravengirl94 @hannahindie @escabell @kathaswings @dreamingdean @becs-bunker @wordstothewisereaders @imagining-supernatural @sgarrett49 @iwriteaboutdean @mogaruke @spngeronimo @ruprecht0420  @pickupthatamulet @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @wellthatsrandomkek @winchestersnco @jayankles @winchesters-flannels @akshi8278 @persephone-divine @tiny-friggin-human @keepcalmandcarryondean @becominglionhearted @polina-93 @mandilion76 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @ravenangel33 @holahellohialoha @atc74 @dancingalone21 @dancing-the-hellfire-rumba @juanitadiann @yourvoiceislikearose @sinistersaltqueen @carryonmyswansong-archive @emoryhemsworth @superapplepie @bebravekeeponfighting @carryonmywaywardcaptain @sebastianshoe @kleinkariertebetrachter @stellaa33 @samisimportant-blog @jessilliam-caronday @shutupiminlooove @annoyingpeople-postingthings @caitthejourno @no-shit-sherl0ck @superflurry @mrswhozeewhatsis @starry-chaos @rlawson418 @novaddictx  @caeruli @itssmallerontheoutside-13 @may-darling @jerkbitchidjitassbutt  @adoptdontshoppets @jessikared97

Against All Odds Tags: @mirandaaustin93 @angelessquirrel @chantalkate16 @tryn25 @jbbarnesgirl @jessieray98 @ultimatecin73 @gloriousartisanfancreator @fangirl-and-medstudent-help @kararanae23