#I fully admit those last two were mostly

[weirdkpopgirl]

Stealing Kisses | Dream Reaction #14

Reaction: When their gf steals a kiss from them

Genre: Fluff, slight angst in some

Warnings: insecure thoughts, kinda suggestive, light making out in Jaemin's, kissing (obviously lol)

Word Count: ~3.1k

Author's Note: This idea came to me last week I think, and I thought it'd be fun to write. I think you guys like this type of stuff too lol. It was also nice to write something sweet and fluffy, a break from my recent stuff. Hope you all like it and thank you for reading ^ ^

P.S. I'm currently have a few fics I'm working on. But I'm going to try writing some shorter stories for the members and group things to fill up my second masterlist.

~ ~ ~

mark

The two of you were lying side by side on his bed, your gazes fixed on the ceiling. Mark was sharing his late-night thoughts, and you were listening attentively. Nights like these were a regular occurrence, mostly because Mark often had something weighing on his mind. Though it was usually just him recounting his busy day, tonight things seemed to carry a more serious tone.

“Sometimes, I’m just really not satisfied with myself,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “Like so many people are relying on me— with the company, 127 and Dream. Then there are the fans too, I don’t want to fail them. But no matter how much time and energy I put in, it’s not enough.”

You carefully processed your boyfriend’s concerns, trying to put yourself in his shoes. It was so easy to say he was just overthinking and shouldn’t worry so much. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to do so, given that you faced similar struggles. Those dismissive words weren’t what either of you needed to hear. Mark was undoubtedly the most hardworking person you knew, but you understood all too well the feeling of never quite doing enough.

Before speaking this time, you opted for a different approach of consolation. You shifted around to gently place your hand on his cheek, guiding his gaze towards you. With closed eyes, you leaned in to kiss him softly. Your lips moved slowly against his, hoping he could feel the comfort of your touch. Soon enough, Mark’s hand rested comfortably on your back, reciprocating the affection.

You stifled a light giggle as you pulled away, catching his slightly confused expression. Offering a small smile you used your thumb to caress his cheek reassuringly.

“You���re doing great, Mark,” you whispered sincerely. “You might not think so at times, but I’m always so proud of you.”

And it was those words that caused tears to gloss over Mark’s eyes. Then he was pulling you into a much-needed embrace, holding you tightly in his arms. You could feel the warmth of his smile as he mumbled, “Babe, I love you so much.”

Though you didn’t necessarily need to return the words for him to understand, you still said you loved him too. He deserved it, after all. He deserved every bit of love, understanding, and support. And you were more than willing to give it to him, wholeheartedly.

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renjun 

You emerged from the kitchen, holding a plate of freshly cut mango in your hand. Renjun was sitting at the table, fully absorbed in the watercolor painting in front of him. Seeing him use the paint set you got for his birthday brought a smile to your face. He was so engrossed in the activity that he almost didn’t hear you sit in the empty chair beside him.

Renjun momentarily glanced up from his artwork to greet you. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you replied quietly, carefully placing the plate of fruit on the table. The two of you shared a smile before his attention was on painting again.

For a moment, you paused to admire the way his focused expression softened his features, making him even more endearing in your eyes. You always found joy in watching your boyfriend immerse himself in the things he loved. Renjun consistently poured his heart and soul into everything he did, and that dedication was one of the many reasons your relationship flourished so beautifully. 

After a few minutes passed by of you silently observing the boy, you leaned into place a quick kiss on his cheek. His eyes widened in surprise, and a faint blush followed. 

“What was that for?” he asked, voice laced with curiosity.

You simply shrugged in response before confessing, “Just thought you looked cute.”

Renjun’s soft chuckle was like honey for your ears, and you couldn’t suppress a smile. “Oh is that so?” he teased, amusement twinkling in his eyes even as his gaze softened when he looked at you.

Now it was your turn to feel shy, heat naturally rushing to your face. Without a word, you reached for a slice of mango and lifted it to Renjun’s lips, quietly offering the yellow piece of fruit to him. Lucky for you, his eyes sparkled with fondness as he accepted the treat. 

However, he didn’t waste the chance to quickly steal a kiss from your lips, before taking a bite. Your eyes mirrored the surprise he had experienced earlier, and Renjun laughed now the tables had been turned. He savored the sweetness of the mango, just as he savored the sweet moment shared between the two of you.

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jeno 

You weren’t exactly expecting to return home to Jeno sprawled across your sofa. It was late at night, and you technically should have been back in your apartment much earlier. However, you got caught up in helping your friend rehearse for an audition and lost track of time. If you had known your boyfriend would be coming, you definitely would’ve gone home sooner.

 After quietly removing your shoes and shedding off your jacket, you carefully crossed the room to check the man resting on the couch. He looked so peaceful with his eyes blissfully shut and the pillow he held close to his chest. Yet, you couldn’t help but frown, thinking about how he must’ve been exhausted from work. While he never complained, you usually saw through his facade.

With a barely audible sigh, you fetched a cozy blanket to drape over him and tucked it snugly around his sleeping form. Leaning down, your lips pressed to his forehead and let your lips linger for a moment before pulling away. You straightened up, ready to start your nightly routine before heading to bed yourself. However, you froze when a warm hand tugged at your wrist. 

“Don’t go,” he murmured, almost sounding like a child begging his mom not to leave. 

The unexpected sound of his voice made your heart skip a beat. “Sorry for waking you up,” you apologized sheepishly, turning back to see him.

He shifted over a bit to give you some space, and you sat down beside him. Without thinking, your hand subconsciously moved to stroke his hair gently. He hummed at the sensation, appreciating any sort of affection from you.

“Don’t apologize. I liked it,” he said softly, leaning further into your touch. “Do you always kiss me when I’m asleep?”

“Sometimes,” you admitted quietly, feeling a blush creeping up your cheeks.

A small pout formed on his lips in response. “You should just kiss me when I’m awake so I can give you one back.”

His words would’ve sounded playful if they hadn’t been spoken in such a sulky tone. But of course, you sort of expected this reaction from Jeno. Chuckling softly, your embarrassment gradually began to melt away.

Moving your hand to caress his face, you casually said, “Well you can give me one now if you’d like.”

With your permission, Jeno happily sat up to pull you closer for a kiss that made your head spin. Nonetheless, it was a tender moment that left you both with silly smiles as you parted. Afterward, you took his hand in yours and suggested you both move to the bedroom so he could sleep more comfortably.

Later, as you cuddled up together in bed, Jeno smiled to himself as he felt a rush of love he felt for you. Even though it was past one a.m., he still found himself falling for you all over again.

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haechan 

To say the least, Haechan was a little restless just chilling in his apartment with you. Usually, he liked being at home, especially with your company. But the original plan for today was to have a lovely date at Han River, which was forfeited due to the ongoing thunderstorm outside. He regretted not looking at the weather forecast beforehand.

So to cure his self-proclaimed “boredom,” Haechan proposed the idea of playing the pepero game. At first, you tried to decline, knowing that you’d be signing up for endless teasing and blushing on your part. That didn’t sound very fun to you.

“Oh come on, babe!” he pleaded, shaking the pepero box. “I won’t be annoying this time, promise.”

Knowing he was going to keep whining until you agreed, you reluctantly set aside the book you were using to ignore him. “Ugh, fine. But just this once!” you conceded, holding your pointer finger up as a warning.

Haechan grinned triumphantly as he tore open the bag inside the box to retrieve a Pepero stick. He moved to where you were sitting on the couch and lifted the chocolate-covered treat to your lips, gesturing to open it. With a resigned sigh, you reluctantly complied and took the stick with your teeth. Haechan took hold of the other end, his eyes already sparkling with mischief.

As the two of you started nibbling, Haechan promptly contradicted his earlier promise of not being annoying. His eyes sparkled with mischief when you hesitated after he took the next bite, leaving only a few centimeters left. No matter how often you had been in close proximity with your boyfriend, there was something uniquely captivating about the way his warm tan skin was adorned with scattered moles, and how you could get lost in his deep brown eyes. Seeing those features up close always stirred a weirdly fluttery sensation in your heart.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting shy already, (Y/n),” he teased, his words slightly muffled by the long biscuit between his teeth. You merely glared at him in response, unwilling to admit how easily you were influenced by him.

To rebel, you decided to make a bold move of your own this time. Despite your racing heart, you seized the opportunity and bit the remaining piece, but not without planting a swift kiss on his lips. Haechan froze for a moment as you pulled away. A laugh escaped when you saw that he was too stunned to speak. Well, that was one way to shut him up.

Feigning innocence, you asked, “That’s what you wanted, am I wrong?”

It didn’t take long for a grin to spread across the boy’s lips. The initial shock of your unexpected kiss was replaced by a look of amusement. In the next moment, his right arm encircled your waist, drawing you close once more. You didn’t even have time to blush before his lips began to explore every exposed inch of your skin.

“You’re so bad for me,” he murmured between kisses, his fingers tangling your hair. “But I love it.”

You giggled, surrendering to the warmth of his affection. Maybe you’d be more inclined to indulge in games with Haechan now, knowing they’d end up like this.

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jaemin

In the solace of his apartment, Jaemin observed you interact with his cats in the living room. Usually, he’d be cooing and snapping a hundred pictures of you and his children. However, he wasn’t very amused at the moment.

Na Jaemin never thought he’d be jealous of his babies until he saw Luke rubbing against your leg and hopping into your lap. Your giggly response and the way you tenderly stroked your fingers through the feline’s soft white hair, certainly didn’t make him feel any better. Although he loved his pets dearly, seeing them snuggle up to you so easily made him feel a bit envious. 

“Hmmph, it seems like you’ve become more fond of Luke than your own boyfriend,” he scoffed, not even bothering to hide it. 

You looked up, noticing how he was resting his head in the palm of his hand, his elbow propped on the couch’s armrest. His body language fully displayed his discontent, and you tried not to laugh. Rolling your eyes, you returned Luke to his siblings and tugged the collar of Jaemin’s hoodie to pull him in for a sweet kiss. 

Any negative feelings dissipated instantly as his heart fluttered at the touch of your lips against his. Warmth spread through him like wildfire. But before he could reciprocate the kiss, you pulled away with a playful glint in your eyes.

“Does that make you happy?” you teased, gently pushing him back to give yourself some space.

Adoration shined over Jaemin’s eyes as he grinned. “Hm, I think another one would make me even happier,” he said, his voice husky with desire.

Before you could even respond this time, Jaemin was already leaning in to capture your lips in a passionate kiss that sent sparks flying between you. One of his hands rested on the nape of your neck, allowing him to press his lips harder against yours, while the other was placed firmly on your waist. Though you were initially caught off guard by the sudden intensity of the kiss, you decided to enjoy this moment of intimacy.

As you melted into each other’s arms, Jaemin was reminded once again of just how amazing it felt to be loved by you. Honestly, if he could have one wish, he’d probably wish to kiss you forever.

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chenle 

The steaming pot of oxtail soup stared up at you, and you lowered the heat to let it simmer some more. It was your first time cooking the Chinese soup. But recalling how your mom used to make it when you were younger, figuring it on your own hadn’t been too difficult. Although you were mostly confident in your culinary skills, you still wanted to be sure.

“Lele, can you come here for a sec?” you called out to your boyfriend who was probably playing some mobile game in the living room. 

You could hear rustling sounds, and soon the sound of slippers padding against the wooden floor reached your ears.  “Smells good babe,” he said, shuffling over to your side. 

Something about seeing Chenle waddle into the kitchen, wearing a black sweatshirt with the hood over his messy hair, made your heart strangely beat faster. But instead of ignoring that feeling like you usually did, you decided to act on it this time.

After dipping a spoon in the red broth, you raised the utensil to his mouth. “Taste it for me.”

Chenle complied, allowing you to feed him some of the soup. You tried to suppress a laugh as a smug yet impressed expression appeared on his face. However, before he could give you his feedback, you swiftly leaned in to give him a peck. 

The male froze for a moment at your actions. You chuckled softly and hugged his waist, as your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. His eyes widened in surprise before the corner of his lips curled into a smirk. A part of him wanted to tease you for stepping out of your shy image, but he also found himself enjoying it a little too much. 

“Did you like it?” you asked, glancing up at him innocently.

Chenle’s cocky grin widened as he leaned in closer. His eyes twinkled with mischief, as he used his pointer finger to gently tilt your chin upward. “Wait, let me taste it again to just be sure,” he teased.

It didn’t take much for you to understand that he was not talking about the food. You simply smiled as his lips brushed against yours before he went all in. Shivers danced down your spine as you melted into the electrifying kiss. By the time you finally pulled apart, Chenle was smiling like an idiot.

“Hm, that was delicious,” he breathed, earning a playful smack on the shoulder from you. Even though you had started it, his comment was unnecessary in your opinion. Was he trying to kill you?

Trying to recover from your now flustered state, you returned your attention to the brewing pot on the stove. Chenle’s laugh rang through your ears, and then he was squeezing you into a backhug. It was those types of moments that reassured you that being with Chenle could never be boring.

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jisung 

Amidst the dark sky, the street lamps cast a soft, golden glow as you walked back to your apartment. Jisung strolled beside you, holding your hand securely. Occasionally, you smiled to yourself, thinking about how tonight had been another lovely date, filled with laughter, shared stories, and stolen glances that spoke volumes without a single word.

As you neared your apartment building, you felt Jisung’s fingers intertwined with yours tighten. A sense of reluctance washed over him, realizing that he wasn’t ready to say goodbye tonight yet. Your presence always brought Jisung a sense of warmth that made him the happiest when you were together. He wanted to experience that just a little while longer.

Pausing in front of your door, your eyes widened when you were pulled into a tight embrace. Jisung seemed clingier than usual this evening, but you honestly couldn’t complain. You returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his waist and letting your nose press against the oversized hoodie he was wearing. The scent of the perfume Renjun recently bought for him filled your senses. It wasn’t bad, you thought to yourself.

“I miss you already,” Jisung murmured, his chin relaxing against your head. 

The soft longing in his voice left your heart melting. These were the types of words you expected to read in texts from Jisung. So hearing them in person was even more touching. A smile tugged on your lips and you pulled away slightly to glance around, ensuring there were no cameras around. Once you confirmed there were no prying eyes that might stir trouble for either of you, you reached up on your tiptoes and pressed a quick but passionate kiss to Jisung’s lips.

He blinked in surprise, heat immediately rushing to his cheeks as the unexpected affection registered through his mind. Any kiss from you always made his heart flutter and left him wearing a shy smile. Nonetheless, witnessing the fondness in your eyes as you were blushing too was irresistible for Jisung.

Chuckling he moved his hand to gently pat your head. “Cute.”

You blushed a little at his words and squeezed in one last hug before he reluctantly released you to head inside. 

“I love you, Ji,” you said quietly, glancing back one last time to ensure he heard you. He exhaled shakily and said he loved you more.

There was an unspoken sadness shared between you, both feeling the weight of the parting. The two of you were uncertain of when or where you’d meet again. However, you found comfort in the knowledge that the love you had with Jisung was too strong to let too much time pass without seeing each other. In the meantime, you would cherish those precious memories together.

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previous masterlist -> new masterlist

[everythingisromant1c]

It's Always Been You - Chapter 12

james potter x fem!reader

summary - Things hadn't gotten much better with James, and you knew you could only go so long without talking to him—after all, he was still your best friend. But, considering all that'd happened, along with some encouragement from your friends, you knew the time had come to finally admit you wanted more than that.

wc [6.2k]

a/n: alr guys ... very happy and also sad to say this is the last chapter of it's always been you!! :( i've loved every minute of writing this series as well as sharing it (its become my baby atp), and it is definitely because of all the love and support everyone reading has given it. thank u to everyone stuck around to this point, & i hope u guys enjoy this last chapter!! i send all my hugs and kisses <3 - e

all chapters | <- Chapter 11

It'd been another hour or two until everyone had fully returned from Hogsmeade and dinner was being served in the Great Hall. You finally changed out of your dress and into your everyday clothing again, already feeling better, but that didn't mean you felt good. You didn't think you could feel good when both your brain and heart were hurting like they were. And worst of all, the one person you'd go to in times like these for comfort was the same person you couldn't go to. Not now.

The girls had been doing their best to get your mind off of everything that had happened that day, aside from when Marlene profusely apologized to you for letting Potter hear her outburst in the common room.

"Although, I have to say," she admitted afterward. "I'm not completely sorry for him that he had to hear it. I may be brutal but I never tell a lie."

That fact didn't leave you as you sat with her and Lily in the Great Hall for dinner, a number of seats away from the other Marauders. You recognized with a skip in your heartbeat that James was with them, surprisingly enough since you knew how he was accustomed to skipping meals in the dining hall when he wanted to be alone, a habit you both unfortunately shared. But that didn't mean he was enjoying himself either.

You could see even from your seat down the table that he wasn't saying much, mostly keeping to himself quietly, something so out of character for him yet you'd seen him do it constantly the entire week. You wanted to yell at him and shake him silly, but you also wanted to hug him. When you caught yourself in the midst of those thoughts you turned back to your own spot at the table shamefully.

You tried to force yourself to eat, catching your friends' concerned looks at your full plate, but you didn't feel much like it. Especially not when you still felt maybe a dozen pairs of eyes on you from every corner of the Great Hall.

Even with all that'd happened since just that morning, the rumors and whatever else people had come up with to talk about had not yet been forgotten about by the school like your friends said it would be. Then you thought about whether news had spread of your disastrous date in Hogsmeade, and prayed that nobody had caught wind of that incident either. You didn't think you could handle any more of the staring.

Immediately after you had that thought, you spotted a fifth-year in Ravenclaw robes walking past your table, watching as he blatantly pointed at you as he spoke to his friend, and you looked down at your plate with hardened eyes.

You heard Marlene scoff from next to you. "Hey!" she called to the boy. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it was rude to point?"

The fifth-year didn't respond to her but looked to his friend, hurriedly taking a seat at his own table, his whispers being drowned out in the loudness of the dining hall.

Marlene fumed from next to you. "I can't believe these people. Are they really that bored with their own lives that they're so obsessed with a bloody rumor?"

You shook your head toying with your fork. "Just ignore them. That's what I've settled on doing."

She sighed from beside you and you thought that'd be the end of everything, until you heard gasps from down the table. You looked up and followed the sounds and were met with a sight not even the magic of Hogwarts could've prepared you for.

James—your James—had stood up on the bench he'd once been sitting in, and you thanked Merlin he wasn't standing fully on the table; though you had absolutely no idea what he could possibly be up to, you knew it couldn't be anything good. He cupped a hand to his mouth as your heartrate picked up.

"Can I have everyone's attention?"

He didn't have to ask twice for it. His voice boomed out loudly, something that seemed to come naturally to him, and the noise in the Great Hall had died out in a mere second until it was almost completely silent—quiet enough for you to hear the beating of your heart in your chest as you looked up at him. Your throat went dry.

"Not that it's any of anyone's business," he started confidently to the hundreds of eyes now looking at him, tone nothing but sober. "But nothing happened in the broom closet. Or in the locker room."

You felt the churning in your stomach claw up into your throat, then felt it drop back down, keeping you stationed in your seat. He didn't give much context to his declaration, but with the popularity of the topic amongst the school, it didn't seem like he needed to. His voice almost seemed to echo, all other noises drowning out as everyone stared up at him. James looked around the entire room appearing completely unafraid and you didn't know how the hell he did it; you probably looked more fearful than him.

"So," he began again, "I don't want to see or hear anyone talking about those rumors any longer. And if anyone has a problem with that, they can answer to me. Alright?"

Of course, nobody said anything then, but you could see in their eyes that they were going to listen to him. Or at least, they'd make sure they didn't get caught going against him. Maybe it was from his impenetrably confident voice or his respected status around the school, you weren't sure, but he had that unique effect on people in an almost effortless way.

When it was clear he'd gotten his point across, he scanned his eyes over the sea of students until they found yours. In a dizzying way, it felt like you were the only two in the room for a moment, as cliché as the thought sounded in your head.

You didn't know what had motivated him to do what he did, but you could see in his eyes something fragile that juxtaposed the self-assured look they'd had only seconds ago. He looked away again and stepped back down to floor level once more, not taking a moment before striding out of the Great Hall, his form disappearing seconds after.

Even without his physical presence, his action seemed to linger over the room for a moment more before chatter broke out once again. You were still frozen in place, not knowing if moving would finalize the idea that whatever just happened was real and not just part of some wild dream.

Marlene had confirmed that it definitely had happened, however, when she turned to you with her jaw dropped, an amazed but delighted sparkle in her eye. "Someone tell me you saw that too."

"Oh we saw it," rang Lily, who also looked much too happy about that fact, probably just relieved James's antics weren't centered on her for once. You could see them both staring at you expectantly, waiting for you to react. You could also see the boys in your peripheral, the three of them remaining at the table searching your face for a reaction.

Yet, all you could do was stand up and walk hurriedly towards the exit. Dozens of conversations rushed past your ears as you did, a blur of remarks ranging from "Potter's lost it" to "He's so bloody fit." Whatever they were saying, you noted with gratefulness in the back of your mind that none of the conversations were about you.

You reached the doorway and stopped once you were a safe distance away in the hallway, heaving breaths in for a moment to yourself before finding that you weren't alone. All of your friends had followed you without blinking an eye, and you didn't know whether you found it endearing or inconvenient. Though, to be fair, you didn't know where you were going. You just knew you couldn't sit there and pretend as if nothing had happened.

You blinked at the three boys who neared you with puzzled looks on each of their faces. "Did you guys know anything about this?"

"No," promised Sirius. "In fact, James has hardly said anything to us since this morning."

You shook your head to yourself, feeling breathless. "I can't ... believe he would do that."

"Really?" Lily stared at you. "I mean, it's Potter we're talking about. It's exactly something he would do."

You couldn't fight the smile that tugged on the corners of your lips even as you shook your head. You ran a hand over your hair as the blonde from next to you hit you in the shoulder.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" You frowned over at her as she stared at you expectantly. "Go to him."

You stilled, gaping at her. "What?"

"Go to him. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

You tipped your head at her like it would help you understand her better, parting your drying lips. "I thought you said he was a selfish git." You heard Remus snort from beside you.

"I did, sure," reasoned Marlene, not without a hint of pride. "But only because I thought he was ruining your chances of moving on now that you were over him. But seriously, I can see your face when you look at him." She shook her head. "That's not the look of someone who wants to move on."

Your eyes flickered over her face as she spoke, an infinite number of thoughts overtaking you. In the silence of your thinking, a Hufflepuff boy walked past the six of you in the hallway, staring all the while.

"What are you looking at?" snapped Marlene, turning to him without missing a beat. "Did you not just hear Potter?"

Like he'd heard him loud and clear, and also like he was scared of Marlene, he hurried away with his head bent forward. Satisfied, the blonde turned back to you. At your conflicted expression, she asked, "Well?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "It's just that," you began, not even knowing where you were going with your rambling. "I've spent so long trying to get over him. It's not fair to myself to just forget all of that, and it definitely wasn't fair to Sebastian-"

"For Merlin's sake," cut in Lily, to your surprise. "You keep talking about what's fair and what's unfair, but what about you? What do you want?"

You stared at her, beginning to feel breathless under the eyes of all your friends. "It's not just about what I want. It's not that simple."

"But what if it is?" she questioned. "I know how difficult this has all been for you. And I know you said Potter doesn't just get to realize his feelings for you and suddenly be with you, that it doesn't work like that. But what if it does?" She raised her hands at her sides. "Not everything is a perfect story to tell. Especially not when it comes to you two. It's not every day you fall in love with your best friend and he finally sees that he's fallen for you too. Are you seriously going to let him go because of some made-up system of rules?"

Your breath was becoming staggering now, and you didn't know what to think, because everything they were telling you sounded so right.

"I don't know," you began unsurely. "Of course, I don't want to lose him. Not talking to him for the past week has been harder than I ever could've imagined. I don't even know what it would feel like to have to do it for longer than I already have been." You blinked down at your shoes, truly realizing those things at the same rate you said them. "I think I just ... miss him."

"Of course you miss him." Marlene looked at you sympathetically. "That's why I think you should go tell all this to him."

You felt bile rising in your throat. "I don't even know if he'd want to see me after all we've said to each other."

"Are you joking?" Remus butted in exasperatedly. "Prongs is bloody in love with you. Can't you see that?"

"Remus," you warned softly because you didn't know how much more of this hope you could take before you did something you'd regret.

"I'm telling the truth." His voice was heavy with meaning. "Maybe it took him a while to realize it himself, but the rest of us have had to sit back and watch you both act like you don't have feelings for each other for years. Believe me, the only reason he's in his room right now and not with you is because he thinks that's what you want."

Your brows pinched. "You can't truly know that."

"Really?" he laughed. "What do you think we talked about that night Vance asked you out?"

Your expression faltered and you forced yourself to think back to the night James had begun acting distant from you, though it wasn't difficult to, the storyline of it all clicking into place in your head.

"You," breathed Remus. "We talked about you."

"Not to mention," Sirius added, "we're the ones who've had to spend every night in our dorm listening to him bitch and moan about Vance this and Vance that." You swallowed at your friends' words, but they didn't quit.

"And we know James was being a right idiot today," Sirius insisted honestly. "But you should've seen him this morning right after you two argued. He was heartbroken. More than he'd ever been over Evans." He turned to the redhead in question. "No offense, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes lightheartedly. "Trust me, Black, none taken."

He nodded and turned back to you swiftly. "So for you to think that James would want anything other than to fix things with you and just be with you is bloody mental."

You stared at all of your friends who were looking so determinedly back at you that you didn't think you could tell them 'no' now. But still, your feet didn't budge.

"It's not just that," you almost whispered. "I guess I'm just ... scared. What if it goes wrong and we get into some ridiculous fight again? What then?"

Marlene took a hold of your shoulders, slightly scaring you in her resoluteness. "Potter just stood up and yelled at the entire bloody school and you're trying to tell us you'rescared?" She shook you a little, and your friends smirked from behind her. "Be a Gryffindor for Godric's sake! Go to him!"

Before you could say anything more, she was turning you around and shoving you a little until you had the momentum you needed to take steps toward the Gryffindor common room. You made it all the way up the nearest set of steps before you paused, turning back to your friends with a grateful smile.

"Thank you, you guys." You expected them to share the sweet moment with you, but they only rolled their eyes.

"Go, woman!" Sirius groaned, and you rolled your eyes back at them, but it lacked any real annoyance.

You didn't know exactly what you were planning on doing, but you didn't have time to think about it because your legs were carrying you speedily through the halls in your anxious state and wouldn't let you stop until you reached the portrait entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Taking a steadying breath in, you said the password and entered the room.

With everyone else still being at dinner in the Great Hall, it wasn't exactly difficult to find James. He sat in the common room, his brunette head of curls visible to you in the low light. They covered the majority of his face that you could see, his head tipped downwards with his elbows resting on his knees. That changed within the blink of an eye as you entered the room, his head swiftly lifting until he locked eyes with you, and you had to fight a shiver at the feeling it sent shuddering through you.

He seemed to think you were just going to go to your own dorm and ignore him, and he averted his eyes to look somewhere else, maybe the fireplace, until you left—but you didn't. You only walked closer to him until you were separated by only one of the couches, the distance still small enough to make your breathing quicken.

At the soundlessness of your stilled footsteps, James looked back up and met your eyes again, and he swallowed. Clearly, he hadn't expected you to make any move to talk to him that night, even after the scene he'd made in the Great Hall. The problem was that you hadn't expected yourself to either, and now you didn't know what you wanted to say first, because there were certainly a million things you had to make sure he knew.

"Thank you," you said, because you figured it was a good place to start. He nodded up at you, his eyes not revealing much of anything, but you didn't let that sway you. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Of course I did." His voice was stubborn, but too sincere for how little his expression gave away.

You looked down at your feet, letting a moment pass before speaking again. "Well, now it seems like everyone is going to be talking about you from now on."

"That doesn't matter to me." James's voice cut through the air richly, and when you looked back up from the floor he was staring at you meaningfully. "They can say whatever the hell they want. As long as they're not talking about you."

Your shoulders dropped at his words, and the way he held your eyes as he said them made your heart beat faster in your chest. It hadn't even been a full day since you'd last spoken to him, but you already missed him.

"They wouldn't leave you alone," he said concretely, his tone beginning to fill with emotion. "And then, I heard what Marlene said in the common room, about some girl harassing you in the library? I-" he shook his head frustratedly, rubbing at his forehead with one of his hands. "I'm just mad at myself that I've let it go on for this long. Or that I didn't even know that happened."

You already felt too emotional for your liking, the feelings inside of you swirling more aggressively at every word he said to you. "It's not like it's your fault, James."

"Well it's not like I did much to stop it, did I?" He seemed genuinely angry at himself now, and you didn't know what you could do to help. A painful lump was rising in your throat, but you stayed rooted in your spot behind the sofa. "And I'd ask you why you didn't come and tell me, but that'd be a bloody stupid question."

He shook his head, eyes becoming wistful like he was recalling a memory, one that pained him. "Earlier, when Marlene was defending you in the common room, the look on your face was ... I don't know. Crushed. Sad."

You swallowed at the memory, because that had been exactly how you were feeling, amongst thousands of other ways. James looked down at his lap.

"I just wanted to try and help, do anything to make that look on your face go away, but I couldn't. So I just kept replaying how you looked in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I hated myself because I realized you were only hurting because of me. And that was the worst part. Realizing that it was all my fault."

You felt yourself wanting to take a step towards him, wanting to just reach out to him as the tips of your fingers teemed with the longing you felt in your chest. "James," you began, your voice hushed. "It's not all your fault."

You meant it. To try and say to yourself that you had no part in all the confusion between the two of you would be a blatant lie, one that you couldn't let James go on believing, especially not with the pained look on his face.

He only shook his head at you. "It is," he insisted. "And here you go, being perfect towards me when I don't deserve it." A muscle worked overtime in his jaw. "Marlene was right. I was being selfish, and petty, and a lot of other things, but most importantly, I wasn't being a good friend." He paused, a grieving confliction tugging at his brow. "That's ... that's not what friends do."

You went still then too, the word 'friend' hanging in the air between you with a weight that only made you tired. The truth was that cobwebs had grown in the house where you'd fostered that unforgiving title, and it felt like some intangible force had locked you both inside with it blindly.

"Yeah, well," you began, your voice small, "we've been doing plenty of things that friends don't do, lately.Like you said, we kissed, right?" You let out a breathy sound like a laugh that lacked any joy, and the way James's eyes flickered up at you knocked the rest of the air right out of you.

"About that," he began hesitantly, and you could tell he was thinking about both the night it'd happened and that morning when you'd fought, just like you were. "I know you don't want that to mean anything, so it- ... it doesn't have to. Even if I want it to. Because it doesn't matter what I want—what matters to me is you."

You were thankful you had the couch next to you to brace a hand on, because you'd never felt so swept up by a conversation and you weren't sure how much longer you could stand the way your heart was nagging at you.

"You were right," swore James, but the slight shake of his eyes back and forth on your face didn't look as adamant as he sounded. "It's not fair for me to expect something from you when you already got over me."

The words you'd shouted at him in Hogsmeade that morning sounded foreign and wrong coming from his lips, and you knew the months of dishonesty that laced them like you knew the back of your hand.

"And it's too late now, I get that." His voice went from deep and determined to on the cusp of breaking, and it killed you. "I just want to know that you're happy, and if being happy means being with Vance instead of me, then ... I can deal with that."

You watched as he swallowed, like he was forcing the words to come from his lips even if it pained him. The way he hadn't broken eye contact with you the whole while was starting to make your head spin.

Your blinking sped up, maybe holding back the emotion you knew you was fighting to come out, and you whispered, "James."

Maybe you hadn't been loud enough, or maybe he just knew you'd try to disagree with him again, but he only continued determinedly at you.

"I know I probably went and ruined your chances with Vance, like an idiot, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you another date with him." He nodded at you once firmly, and within a second he was standing up, taking an intentional step forward. "Hell, I'll even go talk to him right now and-"

"James," you called again, louder this time. "Stop."

You put a hand out and it landed on his arm softly but firmly, and all you could was pray you could find the right words to say to him as he stared at you, level with you now in an unsteadying way.

"You didn't ruin my chances with Sebastian. It wouldn't have worked out regardless, even if I'd wanted it to. Because being with him isn't what I want." You shook your head, recalling back what James had said to you only moments before. "He wouldn't have made me happy." You sounded desperate now. "He's not you."

James stilled, his glistening eyes the only thing showing movement as they danced across your face intensely, though you saw them widen with something bright like hope. "What?"

The confusion of the word that he'd practically whispered out unspeakably attested to how you felt yourself, the terrain of the land you were exploring right there and then with James uncharted and rocky. You pushed on, knowing there was no going back now.

"Marlene wasn't completely right, James. She only said all of those things because I'd spent all this time trying to convince her—and myself—that I didn't still have feelings for you. But I do, clearly." You tipped your head down for a moment in exasperation and exhaustion, willing yourself to keep going. "Everyone can see it. All of our friends. Hell, even Sebastian could see it." You laughed, though your eyes were growing blurry. "So for me to try to push those feelings down any longer would just be lying to you and to myself." You let out an exasperated breath. "And I'm so sick of lying."

Your shoulders sunk as you stood there, a steadily shrinking distance between you and James that was both comforting and daunting to you. You couldn't do anything but watch as James's face stilled and then shifted as he thought, studying your own face in a way that made you conscious of every shift in your expression.

"I just," he began, and then raked a hand through his hair. "Why did you feel like you needed to hide how you felt in the first place?"

You felt your mouth go dry at the question—one you knew came only out of a desperate curiosity and nothing else—and your mind began spinning. The last few years of your friendship seemed to swirl in your head, flickering in and out of focus as you tried to come up with an answer.

"I-" you began, willing yourself to say something, anything at all. "I was scared." The words rang true so much that they made your heart pinch. "Scared that you wouldn't feel the same and I'd go and ruin everything. That I'd lose you."

James's hands lifted up from his sides like he wanted to reach out to you, and he did. He took your hand in his, grasping lightly at your fingertips in a touch that steadied you and made you feel lightheaded at the same time. He shook his head at you with a firm hold in his brow.

"You could never lose me."

His lips were parted, and his hazel eyes glistened over in the low common room lighting like the thought of your suggestion was painful enough on its own. Looking at him then, his face lined with years of a comforting, steadying familiarity, you knew deep in your chest that what he said was true. But that didn't alter all that you'd felt for the past number of years.

"It's not just that," you said, looking down at his hand that held yours and blinking away the guilt that crept into your stomach, because it wasn't James's fault that you had felt this way. "Even in Hogsmeade, James." Your voice was becoming unsteady again and it only frustrated you more. "What if everything you said you felt for me was just some spur-of-the-moment thing from some kiss? What if you didn't feel the same way a week from now? Or a month? I knew I wouldn't be able to get over that fear. Especially when I'd been hiding how I felt from you for years. And then there were your feelings for Lily to think about and ... I don't know."

You trailed off, finally able to stop yourself. You felt petty, so petty, because you were so close to getting what you knew your heart wanted, but you felt the insistent need to ruin things for yourself and think of every way things could go wrong. You'd never felt closer to James then, but also never farther away. All you could do was stand there and wait for him to say something, anything.

James stayed unmoving for a beat staring at you, wordlessly taking everything in with a fragility in the air that hallowed your labored breathing. Then he started to shake his head like he was in disbelief. He ran a hand through his brown hair.

"For Merlin's sake."

His voice was low, a mutter, and he stared at the ground for a moment in thought before dropping the hand that once held yours, turning and walking away from you, leaving up the steps to his dorm room. You watched his back as he disappeared, your fingertips feeling cold and empty.

You felt your blinking speed up in a dizzying confusion. You didn't know what had come over you, not even sure exactly what you'd said in all of your desperate rambling that had made him decide to leave, but your vision started to blur even more than it already had until you recognized the wetness forming beside your eyes.

Nothing made sense. Not then, and not in the last twenty-four hours. You moved until you were sitting down on the couch in front of you, feeling lightheaded as the fireplace crackled a few feet away. The light from outside had left with the sun and the room had a comforting kind of warm lighting, though even that did little to soothe you as you sat there with all the unresolved feelings within you.

You were confused and lost and wanted nothing more than to just fix things, but you were even more at a loss for words when you heard quick footsteps coming from the staircase James had left from, and then saw his returning form making its way down the steps.

You turned your head to him swiftly in confusion, following him and his soft but energetic steps as he came to sit next to you, and that was when you noticed he was holding something—a box. One that was tattered on the corners, its black fabric aged and dusting over.

You wiped at your eyes quickly, brows tugging in all your bewilderment as you waited for James to explain.

"I-" he began, and stopped as soon as his eyes focused more on your face. You must've looked as broken as you felt, and at seeing the look on your face, he held one of your hands in his before swiping across your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb.

You felt like wilting under his soft touch that you'd missed more than anything in the confusing weeks, mentally and physically exhausted from everything but still wanting more than anything to understand.

When you looked perhaps more stable, he looked back at the box that he'd set down beside him and placed it on his lap delicately as he spoke, his words echoing out slowly.

"I know you think I've just realized my feelings for you a week ago, and that they came from some kiss at a party. But, you have to believe me when I say that they're so much more than that." He placed the box in your hands, and you took it from him with a note of fragility, resting it atop your legs. His eyes bore into yours, like it would break him if you couldn't understand the words leaving his lips. He took a shaky breath in. "I need you to know, more than anything, that you're everything to me. You always have been."

Your lips began to shake at the earth-shattering words coming from your best friend's lips. "James, what-"

He stopped you with a gesture of his head that told you to look inside the box, and you did. Carefully, you lifted the flimsy cardboard top and placed it to the side, brows pulling together tight and something loud and hearty threatening to pull from your chest. You shook your head as tears began to well over your eyes again as you recognized what James had given you.

The box, the measly and old mess of cardboard and paper, was full of all the letters you'd written to him over the years—all the thank you notes, the letters you'd sent him from that summer and all the past ones—every single one of them. Your eyes raked over each of them when you felt too stunned to use your hands, but your heart still felt touched by the memories of each one all the same. It took everything in you not to release the sob you felt rising in your lungs.

"It's you. It's always been you."

James's eyes never left your face as you took everything in, the look behind them never having seemed so determined, so desperate. But there was something behind the way he looked at you, something so warm and honest, so familiar that you felt ridiculous for never noticing it before. And when your gaze flickered downward for a second in contemplation he tipped his head to follow it endearingly.

"Always," he promised. "Not Evans, not anyone else. I know I'm a bloody idiot, and I know I haven't been great at showing my emotions when it comes to you, but that's because it's you, and you mean everything to me and have since we were kids, and if this can't make you see that then I promise I'll spend every day trying to make up for it, and-"

"James." You stopped him, not knowing how much longer you could take sitting next to him and not getting rid of the frustrated crease between his brows, or how much longer you could ignore the thrum of your heart that called out to him so clearly now.

"Yeah?" he asked, and his eyes were like a deer in headlights. The warmth in their color reflected the simmering warmth from the fireplace, but that didn't compare to the fire that lay behind his gaze.

You placed the box, his box of the last six years of your friendship and then some, atop the couch next to you, and didn't wait another second before engulfing him in a hug. Your body crashed into his as he leaned back against the couch, his hands coming up to embrace you right away, and you heard him breathe a smile by your ear before he laughed, a perfect noise.

You felt like laughing then too, and crying, and everything else, because you couldn't remember the last time you'd gotten to hold him like this without the fear of revealing too much to him nagging at you. Your cheek pressed against his neck, his curls fanned against the top of your head, his hands held you tight, and you never wanted to leave the safety of his arms. Except to do one thing.

You pulled away from the hug and so did James after a second, his eyes wide and glistening but truly happy. He was smiling widely, his lopsided grin appearing after days like the sun after a storm, and you loved the sight more than anything, locking it away in the back of your mind as a memory you'd keep forever, like the box that sat next to you.

You laid a hand on his chest, another on his cheek, and James grasped the one that was flattened on his chest in his own, quickly glancing down at your hand in his like he couldn't believe he was holding it. He pulled you into him with it and leaned his head on yours.

"It's always been you, too," you whispered, and his eyes glanced down at your lips as you said the quiet words that'd been lingering on your lips for much too long. You had to push away your smile because you were aching to just kiss him like you'd wanted to for years. With a courage that could've only come from Godric himself, you finally did.

You leaned in until your lips met, a flutter of skin dancing shyly together until you leaned into him even further, and suddenly it felt like the crash of a wave, and sounded like the earth was moving beneath your feet, the sound of something right—and this time, you knew it felt the same for him too, because you could feel his boyish grin that you'd spent years admiring tugging against your lips.

You were kissing your best friend. For real this time. It felt so impossible for your mind to imagine such a thing, but luckily it didn't have to.

James moved his hands but they never left you, one sliding through your hair smoothly and one delicately holding your waist like you were something fragile. Butterflies fluttered through you at his touch, something familiar but foreign, wrong but also right, and somessilyperfect. You couldn't believe you'd spent all those years just a few words away from getting to feel it, getting to be surrounded by it.

You pulled away after a moment, your lips feeling puffy and burning with the heat of his kiss, but all you could think about was how free you felt, how happy you were that he was finally yours.

James looked down at you, his eyes dancing all across your face and stopping on your lips, and then somehow growing even warmer when they met yours again.

"I can't-" he began with a slight disbelieving shake of his head, voice coming out breathless and dazed as heat flushed into your own cheeks at the sight. "I can't believe..."

You laughed, feeling out of breath too, and adjusted the glasses that now perched crookedly on James's nose in an agonizingly cute way.

"Me neither," you finished for him, because you knew just how he felt, a secret the both of you shared; it was the only secret you still wanted to keep.

And it was a feeling you never wanted to have to live without again. Though now, with him in your arms and his familiar chocolate curls still brushing against your forehead, you knew you would never have to.

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[matchadobo]

KIDD; overheard

wc: 2768

summary: kidd overhead virgin!freader moaning out his name

warning/s: nsfw🔞, fem reader, v1brators, first-time-s3x, cooming inside, cunnilingus, thr0at fucking, fluff in the end

you never had sex. you're a virgin. and kidd respects that. kidd had been courting you because you insist on doing it the traditional way. he just likes you so much he does sacrifices for you. he's not the type of guy who'd go through such lengths for a girl, but with you, man he'd do anything to let him love you.

you wouldn't expect that a man of his stature wouldn't talk you into having sex when you two started getting romantically involved. kidd was, of course, not a virgin. a man like him, who's built like a fucking fridge, who's tongue brings him so many places, who's charisma is unparalleled, and his overflowing sex appeal. you admit that your boyfriend is hot, and you want to know what i feels to bed him someday. he's perfectly aware of your situation and he gaves you free reign of your sexual status, he never forces you to go all the way. it's just all about touching between the both of you.

it's mostly on kidd's end when we talk about containing it. especially when you don't fix up yourself around him on domestic days. or when you don a pretty little dress.

you'd be fooling yourself if you don't wanna do more than touching and kissing with him. each time he takes his shirt off and his happy trail shows. how his muscles flex when he's reaching over something high or hugging you. you can't help but be curious of how it'd feel if he have his way with you.

so that one night where curiosity won over you, you decided to buy a vibrator since you can't find it in you to ask the guy that's been courting you and you who has been constantly insisting on taking things slow. once you're all alone, you discarded your clothes and lied on his bed. you were staying with him for the night. you could've done it in your place but, the scent of his cologne on his sheets and the sight of his things made you more aroused.

as you spread yourself on the bed, you don't know the first thing about vibrators. all you knew was how badly you wanted him, how you imagine him doing the stimulation and not this expensive fucking vibrating rod. as you felt the splurge of pleasure, you were out of this world. your eyes rolled at the back of your head and your mouth muttered his name with the filthiest intent.

little did you know, kidd was on his way back to his place. he just got off the elevator and is walking toward his unit with a handful of takeout for your date night. he was exhausted from work today and all he wanted to do was come home to you and feel you. not fully aware of your act.

"y'all fuck yet?" heat asked over the phone. kidd tsked through the call.

"if that's what the hell you're gonna talk about i'll block you." he almost hit the end call if it weren't for killer taking over.

"listen, we're just iffy about this courting thing. you always start your relationships with fucking or something." killer calmly retorted. "plus, it's been three months and you two are kind of a blur, aye? don't you think it's time to take a step much higher?"

"let me tell you freaks somethin': name is the most precious angel that ever crossed this earth, ya hear me? she ain't some whore i chase to keep my cock warm. i want to have somethin' special with her, cuz hey, she's one special lady herself." he took a deep breath before continuing, fishing out his keycard from his wallet. "ain't it enough reason to wait it out? i imagine sex with her like a good ol' scotch, aye? longer you wait, tastier it gets. i know she couldn't resist me either, the way those eyes linger ain't a wholesome thing. all the more reason the sex'll be so fuckin' sweet once she's ready." he emphasized on the last three words.

you were too lost in the glee of the stimulation, you didn't even hear the beep of his door as he got inside. as kidd settled his stuff down and calmed down by his couch, he started to wonder where you are. he roamed around his unit to find you, only to hear faint noises of your voices. they sounded like whimpers so he started getting worried and hurried to find where the sound was coming from.

he felt his dick tighten in his pants when he heard you moaning out his name loud and clear. his grasp on the plastic bag carrying your food tightened, he swallowed a hard lump down his throat. he couldn't resist barging in on you.

he would nut right then and there. when he saw you wide open right before him, you reached your climax just as he went in. your scream resounding in the room. so you sat frozen with your legs spread, one hand on the vibrator while the other played with your tits. you stopped immediately and hid yourself under his sheets, your face flushed red in sheer embarrassment. "w-what the hell?! i-i- what the fuck are you doing here, kidd?!"

he sighed before saying, "in case you didn't know; this is my room," he pulled his shirt over his head, walking a step closer to you. "and you're naked," he unbuckled his belt, getting even closer to you. "wide open." he kicked his pants away the floor, crawling by the bed. "moaning my name unbefitting of a cute little thing such as yourself." he pulled the sheets you were covering yourself with. "this much is fuckin' rich coming from someone who insists on taking it slow. your words bit you back in the ass, aye?"

you were flushed red at his proximity, your eyes shakily alternating between his. "i-i wasn't..."

"wasn't what? fucking yourself with that thing and imagining i was ramming into you?" he cocked a brow, canines tugging by his lower lip. "baby, hadn't i told you that you can just tell me if you wanna give it a go? i'm more than happy to teach ya," he gave your cheeks a soft caress.

his big hands trailed down your jaw, fingers tracing the edge of your face, down to the column of your neck until he wrapped his hands around your it and pulled you closer. eliciting a moan out of you, his grin widening. "aren't you a filthy, little slut too?"

he kissed you on your open mouth, the grip on your neck tightening. "what were you thinking about, hm?" he pressed the vibrator closer to your clit after flicking the button on. "was i too hot for you? you want me to fuck you up so bad, huh? stretch this tight, little thing wide, fucking, open." he pressed foreheads with you after licking your lips.

all you could do was pout and curl up your brows, your eyes rolling at the back of your head as you didn't even know what kind of high you're in right now. "nghh- kidd- please...!" you bit your lip, clawing at his arms.

"please what? i can stop." he gently whispered against your ear. "i can take care of mine just fine you know." he gestured to his bulging length underneath his brief. you felt yourself choke at the act, imagining how he'd be like.

"n-no!" you responded, squirming under him. he hasn't discarded the vibrator but only made it even more extreme. "k-keep going... i-i want to go all the way, okay?"

"aye." he nodded, giving you a long, wet kiss before turning the vibrator off. he ducked his head down and placed soft, gentle kisses on your inner thighs, teasing your sopping cunt by his stippled pecks. "ready?" he stared at you, his hot breath tickling your folds. you nodded with pressed lips, bracing yourself with his tongue.

he languidly dragged his tongue down the line of your folds, not breaking eye contact as he watch you squirm with only just his tongue. how you sound so much like a slut just for him. he pulled your hips closer, drowning his face within your opening and the flesh of your thighs. he hummed through you as a response to your moans, vibrations pumping through your veins. he took it a notch higher and slid a finger in. you were becoming limp at this point.

but you wanted to please him too, you want to help him with that tent in his pants. so once you pushed his head deeper and you pulled on his hair, you came in his mouth. he sipped in your juices, slurping in your cum.

"c-can i please you too?" you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"i was just about to say that." he stood up on the bed, holding your jaw by his hands. "go ahead, love."

you hesitantly raise your hands, still looking at him. your fingers crept on his waistbands, sliding them off. his pulsating length sprung out, dripping with precum. you couldn't help but act surprise at the size of him even though you already know that he's phenomenally huge. he would already cum right then and there when he saw the enormous difference between the size of him to your face, how your eyes try to fathom how you'd fit that in your mouth and in your cunt.

you start to wrap your cold fingers around him, a gasp escaping him at your contact. you pumped unsurely, from his flushed head down to his veiny shaft. you opened your mouth and gave a kitten lick by his head, keeping an eye on him before swallowing him whole. he was so huge you gagged when you were just by the half of him.

his hands found its way to the sides of your head as he pushed his length further in your throat, relishing on the warmth of your mouth. you dug your nails by the skin of his hips, eyes watering at the impact of the head of his length touching the back of your throat. he grunted as he tried to restrain himself to let you adjust.

once you let go with a pop, strings of saliva trailed from his head to your lips. there were scattered drools on your lips, you wiped it with the back of your palm. "w-wait, i- you're too big." you giggled shyly, tucking your hair by your ear.

"yeah? sure you can handle it?" he rubbed your chin between his thumb and index, studying your expressions. "i assure you, it will be a lot fucking bigger inside you."

you gulped deeply, face heating up. so you cleared your throat, and prepped yourself to do it once more. you slowly got used to bobbing your head back and forth, the friction of your lips gliding across the surface of his veiny length. as your saliva coated his shaft, it became more slippery and easier to slide in your mouth.

kidd was cursing out words each time his cock slipped in and out of your mouth. he pushed himself further, despite your protests of drumming his hips. he pulled on your hair tightly, fucking your mouth in an unforgiving pace. once he came in your mouth, he left it there for a while, his cum dripping down your throat. you had to catch your breath as residue of cum and drool littered your chin.

he sat down before you,"for a beginner, you're goddamn amazing." he placed a kiss on your forehead then to you lips. as he kissed you fervently; his hands went from choking your neck, squeezing your tits with his palms, and rubbing on your clit as he spread your wetness from your cunt to your inner thighs. "let me spread you up for the finale." he mumbled against your open mouth which elicited breathy moans. his thigh and shoulder provided support for your frame as he fingered you open.

your hand reached over his cheek, looking at him with the most vulnerable gaze. he memorized how sinful you looked for him, how your eyes begged for more and how your mouth uttered the neediest response from his stimulation.

you pressed your forehead by his cheek as you approached your climax, clawing at his arms. he watched how your cunt clenched around his fingers at each curl and spread. you ended up breathless after you came.

but he didn't give you any chance to pause and compose yourself, he lied you down the mattress and knelt before your body. he gave his length a few pumps after spitting on it, he teased his meat on your soaking cunt; savoring how you furrow your brows and gawk at him. he spread your legs by your inner thighs, pushing your hips toward his so you two could be very close. kidd leaned down and pressed foreheads with you, "i'm putting it in, aye?" he asked for permission and you hummed. he gave your nose a little kiss before sliding himself in slowly.

"f-fuck...!" he stuttered, breathless at the tightness of your innocent cunt. he could slide in without any pain from his or your end, your walls just clench around him a lot. you too were drooling and too lost at the fullness of his cock, he's way too huge for you to fathom. "if you keep clenching like that i'm not gonna last, love. i haven't even been fully in." he panted, smiling against your cheek.

once he fully got settled, the head of his cock reached your cervix; that's how big he is. after adjusting, he began moving back and forth. it took everything in him to do it slowly, he wanted to fuck you stupid in a harsh pace. you reached for his neck, slowly lling him down to kiss him. "i-it hurts, b-baby. i-i it feels sore." you said in between kisses. "b-but don't stop, i-it feels amazing too." you smiled meekly, a single tear falling at the corner of your eye.

kidd felt motivated to refine his performance, your words were like a brush on his shoulder. he kissed your tears away before saying, "i know, bunny. i promise to only let you feel the good part, hm?"

as you fist the sheets and his grip on your waist tightened, you two slowly found rhythm. kidd adored how pleasured you look right now, to the point that you don't know what to do with yourself. you played with your tits, sucked on his fingers, clawed on his arms, covered your face with the pillows, and clutched your tummy as you grew near. he was doing all of that to you and it was the biggest turn on for him. he reached over to hold your face in his hand, then he rubbed on your lips, and finally wrapped his hands around your neck. you swallowed at the constriction on your throat, his firm hand holding you in place. his other hand was holding your leg that was swung on top of his shoulder. "you close?" he asked, hips unceasing.

you nodded, your eyes becoming swollen at the amount of tears you let out. "me too, baby. i-i'm- ngh fuck!" he too was lost for words, he felt you clench again around him, you felt him throb inside you; the vibration coursing through your veins. "do you want me to p-pull out?"

you didn't know either. it was your first time and you know the risks. but it was kidd. you want him to release inside, to keep you warm, to let his cum drip down your cunt. so you shook your head and pulled him by the neck. "cum inside, release all of it."

from your words, he came right then and there, shooting up ropes of cum inside your womb. "if we're gonna have brats, i'm done for." he panted with his forehead resting on your shoulder.

"me too, mini versions of you are a headache." you giggled a bit, kissing his ear.

"can i just stay inside?" he lied gently beside you, "you just feel so good and i want to sleep like this."

another tear streamed down your cheeks, what a goddamn softie. you nodded turning your back on him and placing your hand above his which was resting atop your stomach. "i'm glad you're my first." you blurted out, blushing afterward.

"i'm glad you're my last, shortcake."

you gave him a glare but he just giggled.

one last hc before i wage war with my exams 🥺 this is for tHE FREAKSSS 🤪🫣

[anniebeemine]

cocktail hour- s.r x fem!reader

Summary: Spencer makes every wedding unbearable, but at least he’s fuckable.

Warnings: 18+, dom!Spencer, slight choking (once, nose pinching), hate/anger sex, p in v smut, a little bit of degradation

The first time you met Spencer Reid was at a mutual friend's wedding. It was one of those picturesque spring weddings with blooming flowers and soft, warm sunlight filtering through the trees. You had arrived at the venue, feeling excited to celebrate love, and ready to dance the night away. Little did you know, that day would mark the beginning of a complicated and often frustrating relationship with the man who was now standing across the room, glaring at you.

As you reminisced about that wedding, you couldn't help but smile at the memory of your first encounter with Spencer. You had noticed him immediately, standing awkwardly by the punch bowl, looking out of place but endearing in his own way. His tousled hair, mismatched socks, and slightly wrinkled suit gave him a charm that was hard to ignore.

Feeling a sudden burst of confidence, you walked over to him, striking up a conversation. To your surprise, Spencer had been incredibly engaging and intelligent, his eyes lighting up as he talked about his interests. The two of you had spent most of the evening together, laughing and talking. By the end of the night, you found yourself looking forward to seeing him again.

You both agreed to go on a date the following week, but it turned out to be a disaster. Everything that had seemed charming about Spencer at the wedding now seemed irritating. His endless stream of trivia felt like he was showing off. The date ended with a curt goodbye and a mutual agreement that it was best not to pursue anything further.

Since that ill-fated date, your paths had crossed mostly at weddings and funerals of mutual friends and acquaintances. Each encounter was marked by snarky comments and thinly veiled jabs, a far cry from the initial connection you had felt.

Today was no different. You were at another wedding, and as you observed Spencer from across the room, you felt a mixture of irritation and amusement. He was deep in conversation with one of the bridesmaids, his expression animated as he gestured with his hands. You rolled your eyes and turned back to the conversation you were having with a friend, trying to ignore the way your heart rate had picked up.

Later in the evening, as the guests moved to the reception area, you found yourself standing by the bar, nursing a drink. Spencer approached, and you braced yourself for the inevitable exchange.

"Fancy seeing you here," he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

You smiled sweetly, not missing a beat. "Well, it's not like I can avoid you forever. You seem to show up at every single one of these."

Spencer raised an eyebrow, his lips curling into a smirk. "I could say the same about you."

The conversation continued, each of you taking subtle digs at the other, the tension between you palpable. Despite the animosity, there was an underlying current of familiarity and, dare you admit it, a hint of attraction. It was as if that initial connection had never fully dissipated, lurking beneath the surface of your interactions.

You found yourself wandering away from the main hall, needing a break from the noise and the incessant small talk. As you strolled through the corridors, you stumbled upon a window overlooking the gardens. The moonlight bathed the flowers in a soft, silvery glow, creating a serene and almost surreal atmosphere. You leaned against the windowsill, enjoying the quiet and the view. It was a perfect moment of peace, a rare respite from the chaos of the wedding. But it didn't last long.

"You're in my spot," a familiar voice said from behind you.

You turned to see Spencer standing there, his hands in his pockets and a bemused expression on his face.

"Your spot?" you replied, raising an eyebrow. "Are we really doing this?"

Spencer shrugged, stepping closer. "I've been coming to this spot since I got here. It's the best view of the gardens."

You sighed, shaking your head. "That's a bit childish, don't you think? Claiming a spot at a wedding reception?" He stood his ground. You rolled your eyes and began to walk away. “Whatever.”

Spencer smirked, his eyes glinting in the moonlight. "What's childish is you leaving because I'm here."

You opened your mouth to retort, but found yourself at a loss for words. Instead, you turned back to the window, deciding to stand your ground. "Fine. I'll stay."

The two of you stood there in silence for a few moments, the tension between you as palpable as ever. Yet, in the stillness of the night, something shifted. You barely had time to react before Spencer closed the distance between you, his lips crashing onto yours with a rough, needy intensity that took your breath away. His hands cupped your face, his fingers threading through your hair as he pulled you closer. The kiss was urgent, a fierce expression of pent-up emotions and unresolved feelings. Your own hands found their way to his shoulders, gripping tightly as you matched his fervor, losing yourself in the heat of the moment.

Spencer pulled back just enough to speak, his breath hot against your lips. "My room's upstairs."

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. "Lead the way," you replied, your voice breathless with anticipation.

Without another word, Spencer took your hand and led you through the corridors of the venue, his pace quick and determined. You followed eagerly, your thoughts racing and your body thrumming with excitement. The distance to his room felt like an eternity, but finally, you reached his hotel door.

He fumbled with the key for a moment before pushing the door open and pulling you inside. The door barely closed behind you before he was on you again, his lips capturing yours in another searing kiss. This time, there was no hesitation, no holding back. The urgency between you only grew as you stumbled towards the bed, your hands exploring anywhere you could reach.

Spencer pushed you away, causing you to land on your back with a flop. The motion sent blood rushing to your core.

“Look at you,” he cooed, his tone condescending. He yanked his tie off of his neck. “Hold ‘em out.”

You shook your head. “That’s not how this is going to go this time.”

He chuckled darkly, leaning over you. His hand came to land on your throat, one hand pulling yours over your head and holding you there. His hips kept yours in place. You shuddered at the sudden contact of his knee against your core.

“I bet you’re fucking soaked,” he added.

He’s right. You shook your head. “You keep me dry as a desert.”

You tried to budge against his arms, roll him over so you could straddle him. He’d gotten surprisingly stronger since the last wedding. Your lips parted to make a reply but all that came out was a pathetic mewl as his knee pressed against your core.

He snaked one hand up to your neck and pulled you up by it, choking the air from your throat. “That’s right. I’m gonna show you who you really belong to, who fucks you to a sloppy mess every time. Do you wanna see?”

He made a guttural sound in his throat before kissing you so roughly, you felt his perfect teeth clash with yours. He held his hand there, wrapped around your throat more lightly now, waiting to see if you would consent to this. Your mind was spinning so much, you couldn’t even think of the quickest way to do so.

“Show me,” you sputtered helplessly, feeling like a rag doll in Spencer’s commanding grip.

He dove at your collarbone with his mouth, biting you so hard you shrieked and leaving behind glaringly obvious bruises and hickeys. You began to move your hips, grinding on his knee. The layers of fabric blocked you from feeling him. He groaned, his left hand coming up to palm one of your tits. His right hand never left your throat as he continued his attack on your neck and collarbone. You smelled his cologne that lingered from the night and it was getting you drunk, you were sure of it.

“Dirty fucking whores don’t get to cum until I say.” His wild mass of curly hair, made even more wild by the night, fell into his ever-darkening eyes. You traced his body, lean and taught, with your eyes, right down to the suit he was still wearing. His cock was already straining against his slacks.

The two of you made quick work of ridding yourselves of all clothes. With the dress kicked to the side and left in your underwear, you pulled Spencer onto the bed. You positioned yourself over his torso, hovering your core over him. His hands came down to your waist. You quickly did what he had done to you and held his hands on either side of his head.

“You always get to be in charge,” you whined.

Spencer bucked his hips. “And that’s how it’s going to stay.” He ground into your cunt with his still-covered cock and you let out an unholy moan.

You let him sit up and place you on your back again. He pulled your underwear off, tossing them to the side.

“You’re so wet.” Spencer’s fingers expertly curled and reached into all the right places. “So wet. Who’s this for?”

You murmured something unintelligible, so blissed out you couldn’t think straight. He cleared his throat, although his eyes had gone just as cloudy with lust as yours had.

“I said—” He ripped his fingers out of you and shoved them deep into your mouth. “Who. Are you. So wet for?” It seemed that for a second, he forgot himself, his jaw dipped slightly as he watched you suck yourself off of his fingers. Then, with a small shake of his head, he recovered. He held his full bottom lip in his teeth, watching you squirm with need beneath him. He had withdrawn his hand from your mouth, placing it back around your throat instead. “That’s what I thought.”

“Dick,” you grumbled

“Tell me who it is that fucks you the best,”—he began removing his boxers—“who makes you scream the loudest,”—the boxers were discarded on the floor next to your dress—“and who’s dick you just can’t wait to come all over.” He thrust into you, forcefully but not rough.

“Oh my god,” you whined. “Spencer!”

He smirked. Spencer grunted with effort of moving out of you slowly. He stilled for a moment, allowing the blinding pain and pleasure to subside, and then immediately slammed back into you, now fucking you incredibly hard.

You moaned and wove your fingers into his hair, tugging to anchor yourself. Spencer hissed out a curse at the feeling and went down to his forearms to fuck you from a new angle. This allowed you access to his mouth, which you took eagerly. He was still rambling almost incoherent filth when you pulled him into a searing kiss.

The feeling of his cock stretching and pounding you was driving you crazy. Your orgasm built up so fast you thought it had to be a false alarm, but before you had prepared yourself, a scream was ripped from your body involuntarily. He squeezed your nose shut with his thumb and the side of his finger, and suddenly you had no air at all; you didn’t even care, you didn’t need air anymore, you just needed this.

It just kept getting bigger and bigger, it kept twisting in your core and you weren’t sure how much more you could take. He let go of your nose and you took a deep breath in, hearing the most deranged noise break out of your throat and peter out in your mouth with his hand keeping it inside. You were crying out his name, at least you were trying to, but it was all just incomprehensible sobs muffled under his hand.

It was too much, it was far too much, but you could already see yourself tomorrow morning, staring at the phone, trying to decide if it’s worth your pride to call him.

“Who fucks you good,” he panted.

You cried out his name followed by a loud moan.

“Let everyone hear how much of a whore you are for me,” he grunted.

He could fuck you in front of whoever he wanted if it was always gonna be like this; he could fuck you in front of your grandmother and you wouldn’t stop him— you were whipped.

“I’m almost there, Spencer,” you whined, starting to lift your hips up to meet his thrusts, to help him to the edge, not that he seemed to need it. But he readjusted his position, hands wrapping around your hips and using his entire weight to press down on them, effectively stopping your movement. You could tell he was close, his rhythm faltering and just as you were about to accept that wonderful, naughty, downright dangerous heat, he pulled out, which stunned you.

Spencer stopped to breathe and push his hair away from his face. The soft glow of the lamps highlighted the sheen of sweat over him.

“Awww, did you want something?” The condescending nature of the question made you moan in disgruntlement. He met your eyes.

“Then beg for it.”

You complied, shocked at the lewd nature of your pleas. “Please, Spencer. I need you back inside of me-”

He smirked, running the underside of his cock against your clit. You began to tremble again.

“So fucking needy,” he taunted.

Your chest heaves. "That's mean. You're mean."

"I never claimed otherwise. Here, middle and marriage." He guides your hand to your entrance. You push your fingers inside with his guidance. He leaves you to work on yourself and you do. You weren’t surprised that it led to this. The sensations build again, another orgasm on the horizon.

“Are you gonna cum already?”

You nodded. His hand came up, rubbing slow circles just around your clit.

“Please,” you panted. “Please let me cum.”

The words had slipped out in the haze of pleasure. His eyebrows raised in shock, a light chuckle escaping his lips. Completely and utterly whipped for him.

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” he smirked, pushing your hand away.

A sob of frustration escaped your lips. He was laughing at you and the shape he’d gotten you in; if you weren’t so hazed out from lust, you could have killed him. “Spencer, I am begging you to-”

“I want to watch you ride me. You deserve a treat.”

Despite being completely exhausted, you let him help you into his lap. He was surprisingly gentle as he helped you straddle him. He lined your pussy to his cock, and upon your nod of consent, he lowered your hips so that you could take him. You both cried out in pleasure as he filled you, stretching your walls with his length as you sank down fully. You looked down at him, and he was still smirking at you as his hands found yours, holding them behind your back with one hand. He began fucking into you at a rapid, hard pace, hitting every single spot perfectly. You were squirming over him. Your hips bucked in rhythm with his, your head thrown back. His free hand pawed at your chest, rolling one nipple before the other.

You began to tremble even more violently than before, the coil in your belly so impossibly tight as you braced yourself. You whimpered, bucking against him for any type of added friction, unable to get enough even with everything he was doing. The flutter of your walls around his cock made his eyes roll back in his head.

Spencer moaned violently, cursing as his fingers dug into your wrists with bruising force. It was the only warning he gave you before he came, a warmth spreading deep in your core with the sporadic thrusts he couldn’t seem to stop. He cut himself off with another vicious grunt when you came too. The flutter of your walls around him left him speechless, gripping your skin so tight you were sure there’d be bruises. He bucked once, then twice before stilling.

You both took a second to catch your breath. He let your hands go and you leaned forward, wincing as you placed your hands on his chest. Spencer let his arms fall beside him. He hadn’t moved, and he wouldn’t, and he didn’t seem to be particularly inclined to in the next few minutes either. You lifted your leg, looking at the mess you’d made on him. As the tip of his softening dick slid out of you, so did a white strand of his cum, leaking out of you in physical evidence that what happened actually just happened. Spencer groaned at the sight.

“I’ll get you a washcloth, just let me…” His head fell back again.

You collapsed beside him, closing your eyes in an attempt to ground yourself. “So who’s getting married next?”

“Next month on the 20th? Clyde and..." he huffed. "Can't remember her name."

You smiled to yourself. “I guess I’ll see you then.”

[alpaca-clouds]

Let's Talk About "Marvelfication"

Okay, let me try to get this out of my system, because I do have some thoughts on this one.

See, as you know, I finished Dragon Age: Veilguard last week. And I did enjoy the game. I never was that attached to the franchise. I really enjoyed Inquisition back in the day when it came out, but after doing two runs with it never have really returned to it. I also did play one of the older games, though I am not fully sure which one, because it was a long while ago. But I just never got that attached to the franchise. (Which mostly has to do with my own personal issues with High Fantasy.)

But that is not what I wanted to talk about. What I wanted to talk about is more the thing I have seen now multiple people call out: "The Marvelfication" as some have called it. And mind you, I absolutely do agree with this: There were several scenes in this game where I thought to myself: "This feels kinda MCU."

However, what I kinda want to talk about is the specific wording here: "Marvelfication." Because it is super understandable that the first thing that comes to mind (for me as well) is the MCU. But I think the issue is way deeper than "MCU is popular, so let's do something like the MCU".

A lot of folks on Youtube and other platforms have talked about how a lot of "tropes" that people blame on the MCU are actually older than the MCU. The reason people associate it with the MCU is moreso that the MCU is just fucking everywhere since it became this big thing. It is what defines the media landscape.

The big issue actually is another one, though: Those tropes are everywhere because in a more and more conservative media landscape they are considered safe. These types of jokes are not risky in any way. These types of characters are not risky. These types of stories are not risky.

It is stories that are set in societies that are messed up, and then there is a big conflict that only tangentally relates to the ways the societies are messed up in, and then that conflict is resolved but the status quo does not change.

And that more than anything is what I would criticize about the game. Outside of very prominently centering some trans issues, the game has taken very little risks.

I wrote about that a bit last week in comparison to BG3, how safe the companions in Veilguard feel. This shows so harshly in direct comparison to BG3, because really, Larian sat down with player and told you: "Those assholes are your companions. Take it or leave it." Those people I know who never finished BG3 mostly never did because they could not stand the companions. Meanwhile those who, like me, got obsessed with the game, mostly did it because it feels so fucking satisfying when you start to get through to the companions after they started out as those assholes. This satisfaction is something Veilguard never really offers you - because... Well, I can assume that some of these characters had some edges at some point. But whatever edges there had been, those have gotten smoothed down, so now everyone is perfectly sweet. Sure, they might argue a bit here or there, and if you make decisions they do not agree with, they are gonna be pissy with Rook for a bit, but that's the most of it.

Same with a lot of other stuff. There is basically no sexual content in this game. You get one sex scene that is super tame and you see nothing - and one to two kisses per romance. No risk.

Any no matter what kinda choice the characters make, they are all gonna be nice, you know?

There is one thing in the finale of the game that is kinda risky, I will admit. But I will not talk about that yet, because I knwo a lot of people have not finished the game.

But for the most part the game does not risk anything.

And really, that is the core of what folks call "Marvelfication". Because pretty much this is also the issue with Marvel and Star Wars and pretty much all American made media: Outside of some smaller productions, some of which do well with the tumblr crowd but barely get any attention from mainstream audience (*coughs* Interview with the Vampire *coughs*) there is little risk taken. The humor is the same everywhere because this humor is considered safe. The characters feel kinda samey everywhere, because those characters are safe.

It is why I have stopped going to the cinema, because these days there are barely any movies I consider worth watching. It is ironically also why I have recently watched a whole lot more Japanese stuff, because it is easier to find stuff there that does not play it that safe.

It is also why I do these days mostly consume western stuff that has a 18+ rating on it - because at least with that stuff I know that it probably is not gonna play it "safe".

I just wish some media took more risks. I want those medium budget projects back, that cost like 30-50 million, so can make a profit with 100 million at the box office, without doing billions. I want some stuff in there that is not a big IP. I just want... stuff.

Right now I am looking at the soon end of What We Do In The Shadows, mostly because it is one of the few things on right now that does some risky stuff. And I miss those SyFy low budget originals, because some of it was kinda risky. Ugh.

The issue is not Marvel. It is not even Disney. It is that the creative industries in the US right now mainly put out big budget stuff that because of that big budget needs to be loved by everyone.

And look, I am trans. Hence I absolutely do see some value in the fact that Bioware clearly took position and said: "Okay, we get to do one risky thing, so that thing is gonna be to incluse a variety of trans characters." Which I love and respect. But I kinda wish the game had not been quite that pretty and instead also included a bit more edges on the characters.

... But I guess in the end there is still fanfiction, where I can still make the characters messy. lol

[thequietkid-moonie]

Secretly dating

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Tarzan, Flynn, Nier ]

[ Tarzan ] [ Tangled ] [ NieR Replicant ]

Wuuuuu I like your idea, I start to think that this is one of your favorites prompts since I had saw you write it often

Anyways, thanks a lot for requesting it!! I had a lot of fun while writing, since I saw the request I been quite excited to write it!

Besides, i love Nier!!!

Tarzan

For Tarzan everything he does with you is a new and learning experience, he is a quick learner so it won't take him much time before learning about the whole thing that is dating (if you guide him he mostly just follow what you tell him, besides with the gorilas he learned about mating so even if it isn't the same he isn't completely cluelest)

Tarzan doesn't feel shy nor ashame of his feeling for you, it would take him a while to fully understand his feeling (or express them to you, he does tries to be sweet while doing it, he does know a little about courting), however, as much as he doesn't have any problem with being open with his love he understand that it may not be the best idea to tell his friends and family about it

Kerchak doesn't trust the other humans, and he barely accept him in the herd, Tarzan fears a little how he would react knowing that he not just went against his orders by approaching them but also start dating one, so he chose not to say anything for now

Tarzan finds himself stuck between wanting to be with you, wanting to learn more from you and even show you his own world, and wanting to be with his family and protect both sides, it could be a little difficult for him to find an balance between the two parts but at the end of the day he manage to make it work

If you are interested on him and his family he will be hesitant to even talk about the topic, for his wish to protect you he just keep the problem to himself until he manage to order his thoughts and explain the situation to you (he needs some time to talk to you about it because he wants to be able to make you smile, and bringing this troubles to you will probably upset you, or even worst, make you feel guilt)

This situation probably won't last much time, or at least he won't hide it for a long time, the first days he can easily come up with an excuse but soon he will have to explain it at least to his friend, Terk and Tantor, and his mother, they know him too well to don't know that he has something in his hands, it can be a difficult for them to understand and accept it (specially for his mother) but at the end they will be really supportive over it (as long as you don't wish harm to him or anyone else from the pack or try to take him away from them), Terk and Tantor will even try to help him cover up and come up with excuses to all the time he's away from the herd or inform him if anything happens in home

He doesn't talk about it much but Tarzan is well aware that he can't keep it as a secret forever and has to think a plan quick, there is the risk of you having to return home, his family finding out or even his family having to go further in the jungle, searching for a safer place to be in. He tries to came out with a plan himself, not wanting to bother you with it

Flynn Rider

Flyn has a lot of reasons to why he should keep your relationship as a secret, he is a thief, he is searched by the authorities and has to constantly sneak, hide and run away, and not just that be he has some enemies, criminals too, since he had betrayed some people a few times, and last but most important reason he cares about you and a lot, he can't help but want to keep you away from his criminal life, even if you were a thief or something of those lines he still want to protect you

Flyn will not admit it out loud but he is scare of the posibility of something bad happening to you, you are too important for him, it upsets him and makes him anxious when you are in distress or even hurt (if something happens to you because of what he does he won't be able to live with himself)

If you two are in a serious relasionship is because he trust you a lot, he will only allow himself to be in a relationship when he is sure that he loves you, that he can trust you and that he actually want to spent his life with you, it took a long time but he let himself be more open and sincere in the relationship (soon or later he will even tell you his real name), his relationship with you is almost the only thing sincere and genuine in his life and that is why he wants to keep it safe

Besides, not all is bad, he does want to keep hidden from the world his love out of security but it actually doesn't take long before he start to like this kind of dinamic, the idea of having to be hidden, giving you quick kisses and hugs to show you that he love you but having to be quick so no one see you two, having to be sneaky but flirty (he just can't stop being teasingly and flirty whenever he has the opportunity, specially if you are more shy or easy to flustered), or even just having to make plans for dates in places that are far from the crowds, somewhere is just the two of you, he end up loving all of that and even have a lot of fun while doing it

But just as he start enjoying being sneaky he start to crave more and more your company, as time pass the desire to have a more open relationship with you grows more and more, at some point he start thinking on having a change, thinking that having a peaceful life without all this problems, having a life where he can be with you without having to worry about you getting hurt or having to run away in any moment will be actually good (but he doesn't really say it out loud), he wonder if he will enjoy having that kind of life too, but is more likely that he already knows the answer (although, he is an ambitious man, he also wants to have quite a lot of things because he doesn't want to have to worry or limit non of you in what he can offer)

Nier

First of all, it wasn't even Nier's intention to keep your relationship as a secret, is just that he was soo busy and anxious that he forgot to tell others. Also, at first it took a while for him to accept and get used to be in a relationship, losing Yonah and Kaine was too much for him and he was just scare to drag you into the danger, but at the end he couldn't deny how happy you make him so at the end you start dating (is also to Weiss' insistance, saying that he shouldn't punish himself, that everything in his life doesn't have to be lost and sadness)

Nier isn't the most affectionate in public just because he is more focused on his work, on searching the Shadowlord and fighting the shades, he keeps the display of affection when is just you two (normally Weiss leave you alone to give you space, but is always with the excuse of not wanting to see you two all lovey dovey), where he can relax and feel like everything will be alright because is just the two of you

As well, if you two travel together that lead you two to have more time together and Nier has no problem with giving you little kisses or holding your hand, although he does it when he knows there is no threating around (he is too scare of losing you too)

Despite not being so affectionate in public is kinda obvious that there is something between you two, whenever you two are together you are always really close, sometimes even Nier has his hand on you (back, shoulder, arm, depending in how he feels), and even if you were affectionate it won't be so strange because even before dating Nier used to accept the affection without much troubles, but what make it even more obvious is the look of pure adoration and love he has whenever you are having time for yourselfs. But at the end, if non of you say something about it, it will stay still in doubt if you two are already together or not

Besides, traveling with you two it feels like a big family, even before you two were dating, so that fact make it even more unsure but at the same time obvious

Since it is still unsure if you two are together or not is more probably that Devola and Popola will try to set the two of you together, they love both of you and despite everything they cherish for your happiness, they try to don't be so direct while helping you two get together or while giving Nier some advice to what to do (for what he probably won't think much of it or take it as just a little advice about dating, in any case he just thank them)

Nier just asumes that the others (or at least the people he cares about) knows about your relationship if they don't ask, so is just up to you to clarify it or until they end up finding out (although, if they ask Nier, he won't even hesitant in confirming your relationship)

Requested by @frickingnerd

[beansandsprouts]

Sunshine (Part 3)

Summary: You and Bucky find yourselves growing closer, spending more and more time together.

I will fully admit this is mostly Bucky simping but something tells me you guys really won't mind too much ;] Also sorry this took so long....college man

Warnings: just fluff. Lots of fluff and pining.

His eyes were wide, lips parted, heart racing. He found himself unable to breathe. All because you were laughing. It was a real laugh, hearty, and full of joy. And it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

He decided right then that his favorite sight to see was you laughing, to watch your lips stretch into a smile as you cackled at a downright horribly cheesy joke he'd made. The way your eyes scrunched a bit while you laughed, the way you seemingly tried to hide behind your hands. Even the way you giggled breathlessly as you started to calm down a bit. It had him feeling starstruck.

It really hadn't taken long for Bucky to realize he was falling for you hard and fast, he'd tried to suppress it at first. It felt silly to be absolutely smitten with you when he didn't even know for certain if you were his soulmate. But he really couldn't help it, part of him knew full well if anyone was to be his soulmate, it was you. After two weeks he decided to just let himself be swept off his feet by you. And you weren't even trying.

Outright, it didn't seem like you treated him any differently than the others in the tower, but he would swear that you smiled just a little wider for him. That you giggled a little more at his jokes. That you seemed happier in his company than anyone else's. He knew it was probably wishful thinking, but he desperately wanted you to feel for him what he was feeling for you.

He loved getting up early in the mornings to go and train with you. He loved watching you challenge Thor to arm wrestling contests. He loved watching you fight with Steve over who gets the last cookie. And he definitely loved watching you sass Tony every chance you got.

Your attitude was like kindling to the flame he had burning for you. You were always so sweet to him, occasionally teasing. But when it came to the others, especially Tony, you didn't seem to hesitate to smart off. You were constantly getting into arguments with Tony, and it brought him immense satisfaction to watch you make the other man angry while you seemed completely unbothered. He didn't want to admit it, but that rebellious streak you had did things for him.

And even if he loved that you seemed to be sweeter to him than everyone else, he did love the way you teased and taunted him. Those moments when you two were sparring or training and you were egging him on always made him feel things he hadn't felt in a long time. The heat of desire was building just as much as the warmth of adoration.

It was a wonder you hadn't seemed to notice. Everyone else could see how enamored he was with you. And they never let him forget it either. In the few short months you'd been in the tower, Bucky had gone from the intimidating Winter Soldier to your little lap dog. Though guard dog would really be more fitting. Even though the team could see how smitten he was, anyone else didn't. The employees in the tower always seemed hesitant to talk to you when he was around. And he was around often. He trailed after you anytime you went anywhere, and he always gave that look to any guy who even breathed in your direction.

Right now, though, right now, all he was focused on was the way your thigh was pressed against his while you sat on the couch watching a movie. It was movie night, and you had sat right between him and Steve. Which meant it was very squished. You didn't seem bothered, though. Instead, you seemed pleased to be sitting between the two super soldiers. Bucky couldn't blame you, he knew that he and Steve were like heaters, and you typically seemed to run cold.

You laughed again at the movie, and Bucky felt his heart flutter again. God, that sound was beautiful. He couldn't help but sneak a glance at you, and his heartbeat quickened. You were so beautiful without even trying.

You leaned over to whisper something to him about a plot hole in the movie, and he felt a smile tug at his lips. Every little thing you did was adorable.

He glanced down at your hands in your lap, it wouldn't be hard to reach over and tug your sleeve up to finally get a look at your soulmate mark. To finally know if his name was the one written on your skin.

He forced himself to look back at the screen, he managed to focus on the movie. That was until he felt your head hit his shoulder, when he looked back down at you, you were clearly fighting off sleep.

In a surge of confidence, he lifted his arm to put it around your shoulders and pull you close. Immediately, you were snuggling into him, head resting on his chest. And his breath hitched. He could smell your shampoo, and it made his heart pound.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could Steve grin at him, but he really didn't care. He looked down at you, nuzzled into his chest. You seemed content, not a care in the world.

Oh how it made his heart race. The idea that you felt so comfortable snuggled into him like this. That you were happy being so close to him.

He looked down at you, sleeping so peacefully. It felt like he hadn't even been watching you for very long, and suddenly, the movie was over. The others gave him smug looks, and he just glared, waiting for them all to leave. Part of him wanted to stay with you there forever, but he knew he should probably wake you so you could go to bed. He didn't want to take advantage.

"Hey."

When you didn't respond he tried to gently shake you awake. You whined in response and snuggled in closer to him. He couldn't help but chuckle at that.

Instead of trying to wake you, he opted instead to carry you off to bed. He adjusted you, which you groaned your displeasure to, and lifted you up in a princess carry and made his way to your room.

He eased you into your bed and you settled in immediately as he tucked your covers over you. He turned to leave, but your hand caught his wrist.

"Buck." Your voice was quiet and a little rough with your sleepiness, but it made his heart skip a beat all the same.

"What is it?"

You tugged at his wrist, so he stepped closer to you. He watched your face contort into a pout and you tugged on him again. He looked at you in confusion until you spoke again.

"Stay." It wasn't really a request, more a command. One that he was happy to obey. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently removed your hand from his wrist.

"Just gonna take my boots off." He reassured you, seeing your displeased expression.

You huffed in response and watched as he pulled his boots off before turning to lay next to you, slipping under the covers and laying on his back. You scooted over, and he immediately lifted his arm to allow you to move in closer. You settled in on his chest, and he let out a shaky breath.

He lay there as you fell asleep on him, his heart eventually starting to slow from its racing. It didn't take long until he fell asleep as well, arm wrapped tightly around you, your head on his chest and arm slung across his stomach.

-----

Guys I'm gonna be so real, this chapter has legitimately been ready for months but I've been dragging in posting it due to the tag list. It got big....fast. I just wanted to get this out ASAP. I will be adding people to tag soon but at this point the requests for tagging is well over 100 and that's just too much. I still have to decide but I may wind up only tagging the first chunk of people who filled out the form. In the meantime the best thing to do is turn on post notifs. Thank you all foe your patience and for reading!! Means lots <33

[telomeke]

4 MINUTES EPISODE 5 – FLASHBACKS, WATCHALONGS AND AN OMINOUS CULTURAL TOUCHPOINT

They're doing a great job with this show and I'm now a newly-minted fan of Director Ning Bhanbhassa Dhubthien, whose confident hand has been assuredly steering the proceedings in 4 Minutes. 🤩

Ep.5 has irrefutably confirmed that the 4 Minutes of the title really is a reference to the four-minute limbo after the heart stops beating (4 Minutes Sultrier Version Ep.5 timestamp 42:20).

So the layers are now being slowly peeled back and more was revealed to us, shedding flashes of light on the convoluted storyline. All is still not clear yet, but some ideas are starting to take shape.

OK, this is mostly guesswork but anyway–

It's quite firmly implanted in my mind now that we're seeing a lot of Great's four minutes of brain activity post cardiac arrest. But what's been percolating in my mind since the last episode is that that we might also be seeing Tyme's four-minute post-death flashback, especially since we also saw him getting shot in the opening sequence of Episode 1.

And so those scenes and sequences shown from Tyme's point of view may also be him re-living his own past experiences (concurrently with Great's?) even as his own heart has stopped.

This thought was triggered by Ep.4's revelation that people who find themselves in the Four-Minute Zone get to enter some sort of common waiting room, and they get to meet others in there too:

And the vibes I got watching this scene reminded me so much of Great and Tyme's conversation at their lakeside glamping in the trailer, which we got to see fully in Episode 5:

I don't think this is Great and Tyme on a romantic date in the real world. Serene, other-worldly and seemingly divorced from reality – this locale has them talking about how beautiful it all is, and Great even says "I wanna stay here forever" before admitting "But we probably can't."

It really looks like this is Great and Tyme finding each other in the four-minute post-death netherworld, with the art gallery meeting room switched up for a more romantic getaway instead (that Great got to choose). And with the clock ticking ominously down to 11:04...

There's also this little snippet from the trailer:

Tyme is locked out of a room, and he calls out for Great even as his surroundings are all sepia-toned and soft-focused.

I think this is 4 Minutes showing us that Tyme's four minutes will be up before Great's are, and Tyme will swept back to the real world – or away to another world – while Great is left behind. (Or maybe it's the other way around?)

Ominously, we are not shown Great's rapture and release from four-minute limbo – as much as I want a Happily Ever After for the two newest pretty boys who have won my heart, 4 Minutes is making no such promises. So I suppose we should prepare ourselves for the possibility that while Great (or Tyme) may well be waking up from a four-minute hiatus and returning to the world of the living at 11:04 – it's not a guarantee that the other will rejoin him there when his own four minutes tick down. 😬💔😭

‌

Anyway, I've refrained from commenting on the numeral 4 as a symbol of death, because this is more a thing in Chinese culture rather than Thai (and up until Ep.5 Thai-Chinese references were at most only faintly present in 4 Minutes).

Well that certainly changed, at 4 Minutes Sultrier Version Ep.5 timestamp 34:50:

The temple where Ep.1 accident victim Khun Manee goes to hire a hitman is unmistakably Chinese. The mafia don she engages with also speaks in Teochew Chinese (I think) at timestamp 36:25.

And so when her siam si/เซียมซี fortune stick shows up with the numeral 4, the link with death is all but confirmed (the word for death in many Chinese dialects like Hokkien, Teochew, Cantonese and Hakka sounds similar to the word for the numeral 4, although there are tonal differences). No surprises then, that the Chinese don tells Manee "Someone's probably going to die."

This had a Thai parallel in Ep.1, when the clock in Khun Manee's hospital room showed us it was thirteen minutes past 1 o'clock in the afternoon:

As portentous as this might appear to occidental minds, it's not just the Western superstition surrounding the number 13 that's threading darker undertones into the fabric of this scene.

In Thai culture (where belief in the supernatural abounds), the numeral 13 is also sometimes considered ill-omened because it looks rather like the Thai word for ghost – ผี – flipped onto its side, adding to the general sense of foreboding in Ep.1.

And for me, this was not meant to foreshadow all the deaths taking place in subsequent scenes and episodes, although it isn't inappropriate as a device.

We have been seeing ghosts in this series – Great, Lukwa, possibly Tyme, and whoever else who found themselves caught in the spectral dimension that exists between life and death in the universe of 4 Minutes.

‌And this may be just my fevered 4 Minutes obsessed brain overthinking things again, but in this light – the paired thirteen (13:13) is likely a reference to the ghostly half-lives of our protagonist couple Great and Tyme, getting to share a precious (final?) four minutes together in that twilight zone between the world of the living and the great beyond.

But it seems more than likely that they will be yanked apart when their four minutes are up. 😧 So will that separation be forever? I wait on tenterhooks to see.

P.S. Links to my own fan theory as to what it all might possibly mean:

And some more supporting information, embedded in the show:

‌

[elfy-elf-imagines]

Lost in the Labyrinth of my Mind | Legolas Greenleaf

▹ Pairing: Legolas x Reader

▹ Genre: Fluff and Pining

▹ Words: ~4k

▹ Summary: The two times you realized you loved Legolas, and the one time you acted on it.

▹ Notes: I would like a reward, I've posted two times in a year 🙂🙃 But seriously, thank you for all the support and love in my last oneshot, you all had me giggling and twirling my hair with my feet kicked up.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Little has made sense lately.

Thrust into a world so unlike your own everything was disorienting. Now you were living in the world that closely mimicked the Middle Ages you’d only read about. The first year hidden in Imladris had felt like the morning after a jarringly realistic dream. Spots blurred your vision and you were half convinced nothing was even real. In fact, you still weren’t fully convinced this was anything more than a grand delusion. Your memory was spotty and the days passed in a haze, so maybe that's why you volunteered to join the Fellowship as a healer.

It was dangerous, you knew, but those fears were quelled with the notion that death would mean it all had been real afterall. Either you come home a hero or have a firm grasp on what’s reality, even if that’s in death. 

Dawn broke, the sun cresting high in the sky, but it was barely seen over the mountains. They seemed to close in, threatening to crush you and your companions, the falling snow ensuring your bodies would stay on the floor. There was a burn in your legs from the steep incline as the Fellowship hiked up the mountains. Even after a night of restless respite, your body still aches. You wouldn’t falter though, even as the tips of your fingers turned blue and your skin became as cold as ice. As the only woman in the company, you refused to be the one to stop first. Stubborn pride was all that kept you moving forward.

Somewhere in between the hobbits was where you found your spot in the marching order. You were content enough to slide in and out of their conversations, at least, the parts of the conversation that could be heard over the deafening wind. But even their chirper disposition seemed to wilt under the harsh weather that seemed to get worse the higher up the Fellowship got. 

Your eyes slid towards Legolas, a shining gold beacon amongst the frost. His hair was like the last rays of sunlight, the smile on his face as warming as a roaring fire. Seamlessly he weaved between the members of the Fellowship, seemingly unbothered by the snow. His footsteps were so light, he didn’t even leave a footprint in his wake. Unlike your travel companions, he seemed mostly unbothered by the pelting snow and frigid air. The cloak he wore, lighter than yours, seemed to be for show rather than practical use. 

It was obnoxious how distracting he could be. If you weren’t careful, you would stare at him for hours on end, mouth hung open like an idiot. It was humiliating, the amount of times you’d made a fool of yourself while in his presence. The teasing from Elladan and Elrohir had been endless. 

Yet as much as you’d hate to admit it, the flutter of your heart or the giddiness that puts a skip in your step were all sensations you reveled in. Always a hopeless romantic, even as previous partners tarnished your silver-plated optimism, you loved being in love. Except, you weren’t in love, you couldn’t be. And in the depths of night, while the stars hung high and all was quiet you told yourself a million things to convince yourself the crush on Legolas was surface level. You told yourself things like: 

“It was his elven heritage; you just weren’t used to seeing elves.”

“The infatuation and curiosity would dim with time.”

“Most of your life elves were fictional, and now there was one, right before you.”

Those were a few of the lines you told yourself to placate yourself when your mind wandered too close to Legolas, though it never felt very convincing. 

Legolas turned, his bright blue eyes meeting yours. They were so wide and full of wonder, it was hard to believe he was hundreds - if not a couple thousand - years old. He was so youthful and bright, not weighed down from living a million lifetimes. Nothing like his father nor the whispers that followed the King’s name in the corridors of Imladris. Legolas was soft and gentle, careful and perfectly polite to a fault. His father’s disposition may have been winter but Legolas remained the sun that melted the frigid snow. 

A smile blossomed on Legolas’ face, not a single crease appearing on his pale skin. The simple gesture made your heart rate increase to an alarming rate, knots twisting and turning in your stomach. Heat and embarrassment made your cheeks turn flush and you hoped he simply thought it was from the cold.

 You returned a smile, overtly aware of your own appearance and insecurities. You wanted him to think you were as pretty as the elves you’d lived among, but beauty was hard while caught in a snowstorm. Your eyes moved from Legolas, opting to stare at the back of Aragorn’s head, at least until the queasy feeling in your stomach went away. He was so beautiful, and kind, and wonderful, and--

‘Stop. Don’t do that.’ you scold yourself. It wasn’t worth the potential heartbreak to even consider Legolas like that. You were mortal and he was very much not, he would more than likely see you as a lost puppy than a romantic prospect. But despite yourself, you snuck one last glance at Legolas, foolishly hopeful his eyes were still locked on you. They weren’t; he was now in the front with Gandalf, idle and unaware of the turmoil a simple smile from him caused. 

A particularly strong gust of wind hit you, knocking you straight to the ground. The winds were getting fiercer and the snow heavier, how long would this continue before Galdalf admitted defeat and you turned around? 

Wet, cold snow seeped through your clothes. You tried to stand, but found it difficult in the thick layer of snow. Like a clumsy child you kicked and squirmed in an attempt to regain your dignity, but it was all for not. Then a hand appeared in your line of sight, offering your aid. You looked up, Legolas now standing before you with an outstretched hand. Without hesitation you took it, Legolas hauling you back to your feet with little to no effort. 

Even as your body was upright and stable, Legolas’ hand didn’t leave yours. His hands were rough from decades of archery training, but they seemed gentle in yours. His thumb lightly traced shapes over your skin. The action seemed subconscious as Legolas continued to look at you with that bright expression he always wore. 

“Careful my lady, we wouldn’t want you to blow away.” Despite how quiet they were, his words cut through the wind. There was a teasing glimmer in his eyes that seemed to translate to his words. 

You breathed out a laugh, careful to not stare into his eyes too long. Your cheeks became warm again, the red flush of embarrassment making its mark on you. Legolas’ head tilted to the side; concern masked the light mischief lighting up his face. 

“My lady, you must be freezing, especially after a fall into the snow. Here--” 

He didn’t give you time to respond, not that you even could. You were in a trance, enraptured the smell of cedar and bergamot as well as the heat that radiated from his body that was so close to yours. Legolas reached up to the clasp of his cloak and undid it. In a smooth motion, he took the cloak off and draped it over your body. 

“That should help keep you warm in the snow.”

 He smiled at you, sweet and gentle. His disposition was addictive, making a small grin curl on your lips. All too soon, he stepped away from you, sparring you one last glance before approaching Aragorn. Your cheeks remained warm and bright red, the rate of your heart not settling anytime soon. 

You continued to watch him animatley chat with Aragorn, unbothered by the cold even without a cloak. Subconsciously, you pulled the cloak tighter to your body, deeply inhaling his scent that lingered on the fabric. 

Practically floating, you were unaware of the knowing glances the rest of the Fellowship cast your way. All the while, you were lost in thought, trying to intellectualize each butterfly Legolas’ touch created. It was all overwhelming and you almost wanted to throw up. You were shaking and nervous; bright red from head to toe. This felt different than idle crushes and romanticization of complete strangers.

Maybe you were falling in love. 

---

The river languidly flowed, beams of soft light reflecting off the water and creating a thousand little rainbows. The river’s stream was gentle and almost lethargic, it seemed even the Earth was affected by the elves' lack of urgency in life. Lady Galadriel’s power had seeped into the very dirt and from it sprout and ethereal visages in the forest. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been this at peace. It must’ve been before your old life had been ripped from you. 

You were alone, fingertips digging into the mud as you stared at the stream. Gandalf was dead. It was a strange thing to constantly remember. At times you would forget, searching for him in the Fellowship only to remember he’d fallen in Moria. There was a pit in your stomach you weren’t familiar with. Greif didn’t feel the way you’d thought it would’ve, not at all the way it was often dramatized in the media. Instead of bright and all encompassing, it was a subtle, slow burn that would eventually swallow you whole if left untempered. 

But you didn’t know how to temper it. 

So it left a dull ache within you, painless enough you’d forget it was there until it suddenly pricked you like a sewing needle. 

But at least you could mourn without the threat of orcs looming over your head. 

“I had hoped to find you.” His voice was carried by the gentle breeze that suddenly came through the clearing. You turned your head, only slightly, just enough to see Legolas’ lithe form standing a little ways away. 

“It’s quiet,” you replied, returning your attention to the water, feeling a need to explain yourself to Legolas, even though his observation wasn’t accusatory. The ground muffled the sound of Legolas’ footsteps, only a soft thump heard with each step. He then took a seat beside you, so quiet it felt like he’d always been there. His eyes were on you, you could feel it, the way his blue eyes bore past your body and into your soul. Elves were far more perceptive than humans, and you could feel the truth to that statement in his gaze. 

“I had thought so as well. I came here our first night in Lothlorien. It made me think of you, I am pleased to see I was correct in that.” He spoke the words so effortlessly, as if he hadn’t just admitted to thinking of you. Or perhaps it was nothing to him, a passing thought in his mind of one of his friends. You didn’t want to just be a friend, but perhaps that was the category you’ll remain.

You turn your head, eye to eye with Legolas. A warm flush appeared on your cheeks, something that seemed permanent when he looked at you with those eyes. The type of wonder and softness that almost made you believe he returned your affections. Yet you didn’t linger on those fantasies for too long, not wanting to potentially be let down. You’d never been very strong in your convictions, something born during childhood that you never managed to shake.

Flighty and fearful as long as danger was near and it was always near; haunting the edges of your vision, a jumpscare waiting around every corner. The worst case scenario had always been accepted as the only plausible scenario; fiction became fact and you wouldn’t accept any other truth. Perhaps Legolas was waiting for a cue from you to make a move, but you were too much of a coward to ever do it. 

So in limbo you would stay, content enough with your friendship while secretly yearning for more. 

“And what about a calm river could make you think of me?” 

You were irrational and emotional, quick to anger and hard to forgive. If anything you were a calamitous tsunami; rough and heavy, dragging everyone in its tide. Nothing like the level headed and logical elves you’d lived around. 

“You’re both a source of peace and beauty,” he responded, a small child-like grin curling on his lips. Your mouth grew dry, brows furrowed in slight disbelief. 

‘He thought I was beautiful?’ 

The thoughts in your mind flew at a thousand miles per hour. There wasn’t one singular train of thought you could latch onto, the ability to speak taken from you. No witty comment fell from your mouth, only a wide eyed stare that suspiciously resembled a doe. 

It seemed to make Legolas falter, a light dusting of pink appearing on his cheeks. He looked away, eyes locked on the river. “I apologize, that came out wrong. I simply meant that while you are attractive, you are also a great friend and I value speaking with you.” He stuttered and stumbled over his words, trailing off at the end. And his voice… it was so prim and proper, it made a few of the butterflies in your stomach turn to dust. “The same way I value the quiet of sitting in this…spot.”

His eyes darted away from your sharpened gaze, scanning the nearby treeline. His nerves seemed suffocating, he’d suddenly become so flighty. Had you made him uncomfortable? Did he see the hearts in your eyes when you looked at him? Had it made him uncomfortable?

The thoughts made you shrink within yourself. The barest hint of hope within you smothered in insecurities and doubt as dark as midnight. Perhaps he hadn’t meant the compliment in the way you wanted. They were only kind words to ease a friend's grief, yet you managed to only hear what you wanted. 

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid.’

You fought against the disappointment, not allowing it to carve its place onto your face. The smile on your face was bright, but it didn't quite meet your eyes. “I’m glad we are friends.” You place your hand on his shoulder, your touch so light he nearly didn’t feel it. 

You half expected him to jump away from your touch as if it burned, but he didn’t. Instead, he met your gaze once more, and the worry muddying his eyes melted away.He gave a slight nod of the head, yet didn’t speak. 

Silence filled the clearing, and you were terrified he might hear your heart pounding against your chest. It became harder to breathe the longer the two of you stayed locked in the impromptu staring contest. The distance between you two was small, and you’d never been so close to him before. Oh god, was he getting closer? Was he leaning towards you? 

There was a slight quiver in your lips, heart slowing to a point you were afraid it wasn’t beating anymore. Palms sweaty, they clung to the blades of grass held captive in your hands. Time stopped, nothing else mattered as you prepared for his lips to touch yours.

Except…

They never did. Legolas pulled back, eyes wide in alarm. He stood, nearly stumbling backwards in his desperation to get away from you. He got to his feet and took two steps away. On the ground you remained, ripping out grass to keep from crying as you saw what you swore was regret crossing his face. 

“I should return to the Fellowship, Aragorn may require me. Until we meet again.” Legolas did an awkward half bow, scurrying away before you could so much as reply. 

Left alone, you let out a heavy breath, that was shuddered with choked sobs. Were you truly that bad he had to flee from you? The wind blew stronger this time, and you rolled your eyes. A few stray tears fell and you let them, there was no one to see you cry like a baby over a man you knew you could never have. 

You couldn’t deny it anymore, try as you might. 

Oh no, you were falling in love.

---

The panic that tore through Helm’s Deep was contagious. 

Ten thousand Uruk-hai would be marching towards you, an army that tripled what little forces the keep could muster. We needed outside help, but there wasn’t time to call for reinforcements. We’d all already be dead by the time they came. 

You tried to not let the fear show, desperate to keep your body steady despite the shaking it was plagued with. Deep breaths were forced as you attempted to keep your breath shallow and uneven. But you couldn’t deny it, even as you did anything and everything to keep your mind. 

You weren’t ready to die. 

Not today, not like this. 

It wouldn’t be swift and painless, it would be drawn out and agonizing; orcs weren’t famous for their mercy. Suffocated by a blanket of despair, you briefly considered offing yourself. There were so many twisting tunnels and a million ways for you to do it. But in the end, as you stared into the desolate eyes of the Rohirrim, you decided against it. If they could face impending doom with grace, then so could you. Yet that didn’t keep the terror from threatening to swallow you whole.

You were numb. 

Stood outside, elves and men began to line up along the wall. There were screams and shouts all around, but it was nothing but white noise in your ears. Across the crowd, your eyes met Legolas’. His lips were downturned and his eyes were tired; Legolas was just as terrified as you. 

You weren’t sure who moved first, but within a blink the two of you began to move towards one another. The crowd was thick but you shoved through them with the strength of someone twice your size. As you escaped the crowd and your hands found Leglolas’, you could finally breathe. It was a breath of fresh air after being forced underwater. 

His eyes bore into yours, his grip tight as if to assure himself you wouldn’t leave. Battle was coming, he knew that, you knew that, but the sentiment was nice. It made your heart flutter, the numbness freezing your body lifting the longer you stayed there. 

You wanted to speak, to tell him all the love confessions and speeches you’d been mentally writing and rewriting. But the ability to talk had been lost. Your mouth was dry and your throat had closed up. Instead you squeezed his hands tighter, hoping to convey everything your words couldn’t. 

His lips, pressed into a thin line, relaxed into a slight frown. His eyes were searching your face, looking for the answers to his never ending questions. You weren’t sure if he found what he was looking for, too afraid to ask in case it soiled the moment. 

It was in that moment, with your eyes connected and his hands tangled with yours, everything clicked into place. Every nagging insecurity and silly fear felt so miniscule and pointless. How much time had been wasted living in fear? 

Moments before doom and your hit with an epiphany. Your feelings weren’t as unrequited as once believed. Reflected in Legolas' shining eyes you could see the same unsurety that came with loving someone new. The constant doubts that you were wrong, not trusting your own eyes and instincts. It was never one sided, you just wish one of you had the courage to say something before this moment. 

A part of you waited for Legolas to speak, to declare everything you’d already figured out, but he never did. Rendered mute just as you were, he was silent in the midst of chaos. 

So you opted to not speak either and instead pressed your lips against his. Your lips were dry and cracked, raw from biting on them constantly. Legolas’ were much the same, yet neither of you hardly cared. His grip on you tightened as he pulled your body closer. He never wanted to let you lose and you didn’t want him to. 

The kiss was hardly romantic or anything like the sappy romance books that became your bible. His lips were rough and his grip was nearly bruising, but it made your heart burst all the same. There was no time for gentle kisses and longing eye contact under flutter lashes, the world was coming to an end. And you’d be damned if it ended without you telling Legolas you’d loved him. 

You pulled back, wide eyes staring into his eyes. A warm rush through your body, heart beat racing against your chest. Faintly, you heard Aragorn calling for the two of you; the current scenario came rushing back as time began to move normally. Majority of the army has lined up, anxiously awaiting the official start of a long dreaded war. You looked at Legolas once more, and his eyes met yours.

“I love you.” The words fell from your lips, jumbled together as you spoke to the tempo of your heartbeat. He understood them all the same, his lips curling into a melancholic sort of grin. 

“I love you.”

The moment was over, the bubble previously surrounding just the two of you bursting. The end was near.

Following the crowd, you and Legolas took your places at the wall, watching ten thousand Uruk-Hai march towards you. Yet you weren’t filled with the same icy fear and delolation. You’d been revived; dropped into icy water after a year long drought. 

Under the wall and hidden by darkness, your hand found Legolas’. He squeezed it, a reassurance and a promise. 

You would both make it out. 

And everything would be right. 

Deeply, you inhaled slowly exhaling. A single arrow bit through the darkness and landed in the chest of an Uruk-Hai. The enemy army shouted and began to charge. You lifted your blade, untangling your hands from Legolas’ as you knocked his arrow. 

The two of you would be fine. 

If only so you could hear him say the words you’ve dreamed about since your first meeting.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ 

Tags: @lunatichaotiche | @aearonnin | @emiliessketches | @vibratingbones | @moony-artnstuff | @mouseships | @ranhanabi777 | @kenobiguacamole | @ceinelee | @thranduil | @fried-potato-balloon | @samnblack | @abbiesthings | @Strangebananabatranch | @bitter--fruit | @keijibum | @im-a-muggleborn | @ollyoxenfrees | @delyeceamaitare |

[thezombieprostitute]

Thoughts on sleepy prompt 33 with Lloyd? Not soft Lloyd, not dark Lloyd, just like, decent equal partner Lloyd?

…and possibly 12, too, bc that’s just so him

Lloyd's Soulmate - Drabble

"decent equal partner Lloyd"... I'm gonna have to channel @eulalielatibule 's Suburban Dad Sunday Lloyd for this because she's the best at writing this kind of Lloyd. That being said, I'm gonna go ahead and use my Soulmate Lloyd, but they've definitely settled in together.

A/N: this was mostly written on my phone!

Ask based on this.

33. “Look me in the eyes and tell me what time you went to bed last night.  Or if you went to bed, for that matter.”

12. “No offense, but you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

It's been almost a year since your soulmate, Lloyd, kidnapped you. The first few weeks were quite the learning experience for the two of you. It was a lot of tit-for-tat learning how to live with someone like Lloyd but the two of you actually made it work.

Go figure, Lloyd was an absolute softy for positive reinforcement which you were happy to give when he started respecting your boundaries and needs. The power dynamics were always in flux but both of you seemed to thrive on that. Arguing over what to watch was just foreplay.

Lately, though, you hadn't had the energy for arguing. You would give in to Lloyd a lot easier, which had him paranoid about retribution. Maybe it was depression? You were doing a lot more sleeping and eating. The latter was definitely affecting your figure but, thankfully, Lloyd didn't seem to care other than fully enjoying your bigger breasts.

Lloyd came back from a mission and found you groggily eating some ice cream on the couch.

"No offense, but you look like you haven’t slept in days," he says.

"No offense, but you like you need a shave," you snap back.

"If you really, truly want me to shave the clit tickler you beg to ride every night, I will," he threatens. "But I don't think you really want that."

"Yeah, you're right," you sigh. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just always tired and hungry and my clothes aren't fitting anymore. Maybe I need a workout program or something."

Lloyd considers for a few moments before going to his phone.

"What are you doing," you ask.

"Checking the period tracker," he replies.

"You've been tracking my periods??"

"Well one of us has to! You have no idea how many headaches I've spared us both by making sure I know when to restock the chocolate."

You cross your arms and pout on the couch while he goes back to his phone.

"Shit," he mutters. You look up at him, eyebrow arched. He takes a deep breath, "you're late. And not just a few days late."

Your eyes widen, "shit, shit, shit! I need a test! Now!" You try to get off the couch but Lloyd gestures you to stay seated.

"I'm getting someone to pick some up right now," he soothes. "And, just to be certain, I'm getting you an appointment with Dr. Beck, okay?" He sits next to you and you immediately cuddle up to him, holding his arm in a hug.

"In the meantime," he smirks, "another way to test is to see if you taste differently."

"Lloyd, this is serious," you gently smack his arm.

"And I'm being serious," he tells you as gently pushes you onto your back. You grab him and pull him into a kiss, needing the comfort of his weight on top of you as your brain was frazzled trying to figure everything out. Maybe a good orgasm really would help, and Lloyd was damn good at giving you those.

Two positive pregnancy tests later you're now waiting on the Doctor's office to confirm or deny the results. You feel like you've been in a state of shock since the first positive test. Thankfully Lloyd has been doing the heavy work and the thinking. Making sure you're getting the medical checks you need, making sure you eat.

"We really should talk," you tell him over dinner.

"Absolutely, Sweetheart."

"Do you want the baby?"

"It'll be an adjustment," he admits. "But so were you. And I haven't been happier since I got you."

You chuckle at that. "But a baby? So soon?"

"I've got the means to take care of you both. You won't have to worry about a thing."

You put a hand over your stomach, "promise you'll treat them even better than you treat yourself?"

"I promise," he says without hesitation.

"Okay," you nod. "Then, when the doctor gives us confirmation, we'll go into full parent mode. Okay?"

"Of course."

A few days after the confirmation from the doctor you're starting to feel better. Getting proper nutrition, knowing what's going on, and not getting angry at yourself for your clothes not fitting were all very good for your mental health. You've even been getting better sleep.

Unlike Lloyd. You woke up from an actually good night's sleep to find Lloyd on his computer looking like he hadn't slept since he fucked you into a coma last night.

"Lloyd," you call, getting his attention. "When was the last time you slept?"

"I've been sleeping here and there. I'm fine." He waves you off.

You spin his chair so that he's facing you, "Look me in the eyes and tell me what time you went to bed last night.  Or if you went to bed, for that matter."

"If you're telling me you don't remember what we did in bed last night I'm running you to the emergency room, Sunshine."

"You know what I mean, Lloyd."

"I'm doing research. I've never been a parent before so I want to make sure to get some intel."

"You've got months to prepare. You don't have to push yourself this much this early." You stand up and cross your arms but that's when you see what's on Lloyd's screen. "Have you been buying baby clothes?"

"No! I've been getting ideas for my tailor! No way is our baby going to wear anything cheap!"

You laugh for the first time in weeks. A deep, big belly laugh. Lloyd is happy to hear it but also confused about what's so funny. You end up laughing so hard you have to sit on his lap as he holds you.

Finally catching your breath you tell him, "you really never do things half-assed, do you?"

Lloyd chuckles, "with an ass like mine? No way."

Tagging @alicedopey and @icefrozendeadlyqueen because I promised I would.

[jadedwolf18-blog]

Joke’s on You!

Hi! Don’t shoot! I have gifts!

I put Jokes on You on AO3 so you can find the full fic there, if this is the first time seeing this fic, otherwise you are welcome to try and find my original chapter posts by combing my Blog Archive. Here’s the latest two chapters if you’re up for if you’re up to date. Otherwise I recommend clicking the link to get all the chapters in on place!

Ok, enjoy you Beasties(affectionate)!

🤍🖤💚💙💚🖤🤍

Chapter 8: Bats and Stalkers

Red Hood watched as his newest subordinate flittered around their current base, the kid had shown up two weeks ago and had slowly integrated themself into his gang. Hood still didn’t know if he should trust the kid or not but other than a strange buzz whenever they were near, he had no reason to mistrust them. The kid was… strange but seemed to genuinely want to help despite having admitted to practically stalking him for weeks before approaching. He huffed as he thought over their first encounter.

*****

Jason sighed as he leaned back, legs dangling over the edge of the abandoned theatre's roof. It was a slow night and the semi-peace had him on alert, calm in Gotham almost never bode well for anyone. He'd removed his Hood, Domino in place as he looked over Crime Alley, smoke trailing from his lips as he took a drag from his cigarette.

The usual Gotham smog clouded the sky, obscuring the stars from view. It was nearing early morning when a scuff from behind had him instinctively grabbing his guns as he got to his feet and spun around to face the intruder. Pausing to take in the figure in front of him. They had their hands up in a show of peace and remained calm under hoods scrutiny. "who are you?"

Instead of a verbal answer, they slowly began to sign. "I want to join you. I'm new in Gotham, been following the bats and rogues the last few weeks. Thought my skills and goal lined up best with yours"

'Huh, that's knew.' Jason leaned down to pick up his Hood and put it on before replying. "Why'd you think that? If yah know who I am, what's your goal?"

The kid? they looked about Duke or Tims age, not that he could tell much from the full head and face mask they wore. Similar to Black Bat. 'A copy cat?'' He took the chance to look them over more thoroughly as he waited for a response. Their outfit covered every inch of skin and was mostly black with thin hacker green and screen blue lines running along the seams and crisscrossing their chest, almost resembling the motherboard of a computer, the area covering the eyes glowed faintly and was the same screen blue, there was also a neon red X over the mouth area that looked to have been painted on rather aggressively over a silver grin.

The boots they wore were strange, they were similar to Nightwing's skintight suit but in place of the thin flexible soles, they had thick heavy silver platforms that resemble combat boots. 'how'd they sneak up on me in those?' he wondered. Tucked into the boots was a pair of loose cargo style pants, held up with a silver belt. The top once again bore resemblance to Nightwing's skin tight suit with the sleeves continuing on to cover the hands, each finger tipped in silver claws.

Movement from their hands caught his attention, he paid keen attention as they signed. "1-Personal investment in taking down the Joker. 2-Need help, you were the best bet in letting me get my shot, others would try talk me out of it. 3-Don't feel like being a Rogue. 4-I'm good at gathering info unnoticed."

They let their hands drop to their sides but kept them in sight, head cocked to the side as they waited for a reaction. Hood thought it over. "Prove the last one and I'll let you in on a trial run. Once you do that we can go over house rules and the types of jobs you'll get."

Jason had fully expected the kid to agree and leave to gather information on some gang or something. He was not expected for them to slowly reach behind them and pull out multiple folders, from seemingly nowhere and toss the stack onto the floor between them. Giving them another once over, he saw nowhere they could have possible hid the stack. Looking from the stack to the kid in question, he tilted his head in silent inquiry. They gat the message and began to sign. "That's all the info I gathered on the other Bats during my time observing them, as well as information I gathered on various Rogues and factions in Gotham"

Jason's brow rose under his hood as he slowly moved to pick up the files. flipping through the stack, he could feel his brows clime higher and higher as he did before farrowing when he got to the folders on the Bats. The files were incredibly detailed, describing each of their patrol routes, rotations, preferred routes, habits, favourite rest stops and they even went into detail on their relationships and who paired best with who for fights and recon missions.

He glanced up at the kid, who was currently staring up at the smog filled sky. 'I'll have to leave soon, the sky is already started to turn pale.' He quickly skimmed through the rest of the files, almost snorting as he came across a picture of Nightwing face planting a window at Wayne Enterprises Tower. 'It's a good thing Bruce had all the windows reinforced'. His humour quickly turned into a scowl when he came across a picture of Red Hood dangling from his ankle after being caught in a trap set by Spoiler. "What's your plan if I say no?"

"Black Mail you into letting me join." Jason's brows shot up at that.

"And if that fails?" Jason was curious, what would this kid do?.

"Help you any way. You just wont see me." Jason resisted the urge pinch the bridge of is nose.

"Fine Kid, I'll let you in for a trial period of a month, if you double cross me in any way you're out. Got it?"

Jason received a nod and salute from the kid. "Alright, come here tomorrow at 9pm and I'll lead you to the warehouse we use for debriefs. We'll start on one of the gangs we've been onto for awhile, you got some good tips here. From there we'll test your skills. Now, What do I call you kid?"

"Not a kid. 18. You can call me Hex." With that the kid stepped back, spun and made a running leap to the next roof top. Quickly disappearing into the distance.

"Hex, huh." He'd have to keep an eye on them, they were good, if they could keep tabs on the Bats without being caught. he bit his lip as he looked through the files again until he found the one on Black Bat. 'I really hope this kid doesn't turn out to be a budding Rogue... this is Tim level of fuck all stalking and the fact they manage to make a file on Black Bat... She hadn't mentioned anything, so either she felt there was no threat or she did not detect them at all.'  With a heavy sigh, Jason gathered the files and stuffed them in to the bag he used for collecting shit from the dealers or thugs he came across during patrols. Stretching out, he slung the bag over his shoulder and made his way down to his bike. it was time to get back to his safe house and sleep before tackling whatever the hell that encounter had been.

*****

Danny yawned as they stretched out on their couch, it had been two weeks since they got themselves an in with Hoods gang, things were going well so far. They were still doing grunt work being a runner, but Danny found it fascinating. It reminded them of watching his sperm donor's operations but at the same time it was the complete opposite. Where before they were always wary, now they were at ease and confident in their safety. Back then there was always screams, crying and fights in the background, with the current Red Hood? There was a camaraderie, a deep understanding that they work to help those in Crime Alley.

Hood ruled by respect, fear and protection. It settled something in Danny to see the Red Hood title so far removed from their childhood memories. It was also a surprise to find that Red Hood was the source of the Angry/Hurt tugging they had felt here and there since entering Gotham. Red Hood was a Revenant, a sick one at that. Danny had slowly been filtering the corrupt ectoplasm via proximity and was happy to feel the Anger slowly drain away. They couldn't do much about the other emotions but the Anger was defiantly a direct result of the corruption.

"Oomph!" Danny's thoughts were interrupted by a weight landing on their back. "Hello to you too. Why are you trying to suffocate me, this fine afternoon?"

"I Know" There was something smug in her voice.

"Know what?" Danny gave a half hearted attempt to dislodge the Little Shadow but she only readjusted and they gave up with a huff.

"Hex." Danny stiffened and made to sit up, Cass easily slid off them and sat next to them.

"How?" Danny observed her, she was calm and didn't look or feel upset, they were rather confused about the Happy/Smug/Mistchief she was unknowingly giving off.

"Was following Red Hood, He was acting strange. Good strange but strange. Saw Hex use Sign for Me. Only you use Swan sign but Hex used Swan and Hood say Black Bat!" She really looked proud of herself. They had figured out the Bats were the Waynes almost immediately after seeing Nightwing do a quadruple flip and Black Bat's Liminalty gave her away as Cass.

"Ok, fine I'm Hex... What now?" They looked at her curiously. 

"Keep secret. Not tell Bats, yet." Danny watched as she seemed to hesitate before continuing in sign. They froze as they watched her hands. "Bats found the Ecto-Act, Big bat is not happy and is investigating how no one found it before. He also wants to know why he was not told and if calls to the Justice League was made."

Danny sighed and flopped back into the couch. turning to look at Cass they decided to tell he the parts of their story they left out the last time. Seems help was coming sooner than they expected. This changed a few things but over all? It was good. They felt Cass snuggle into their side. Danny glanced at her and smiled before grabbing their phone and ordering takeout. Seems they were having a stay in day. They might ask for the nigh off from Hood if Cass doesn't have patrol, they could watch movies and dance. Yeah, that sounds good.

Chapter 9: Stalker meet Stalker

Hex hid in the shadows, ever observant as they waited for their chance to make an appearance. During their observation and information gathering, in order to guarantee a way into Hoods gang, they had noticed the source of the main reason they were in this Cursed city was coming from the Red Bird. So every chance they got, Hex would go out and follow the Red Bird to figure out if the tugging was coming from him specifically or from an object he was carrying. The Red Bird was currently wrapping up an attempted robbery. Hex leaned back on the ledge, rubbing a hand over their chest where they knew their core rested. The tugging was more frantic now that they were so close to figuring it out. A click got their attention and they realised all the thugs had been secured and the Red Bird was getting ready to continue his patrol.

'There!' Hex jumped to the next roof, landing just as Red Robin swung over the ledge. Hex watched as the Bird paused and settle into a well hidden ready stance as he took notice of the fact he wasn't alone.

*****

"Who are you?" Tim kept his focus on the unknown as he subtly clicked the alert on his belt. It would let the others know he had encountered an unknown but to hold back until they are confirmed to be hostile. The unknown tilted their head to the side as they slowly lifted their hands, Tim watched as they began to sign.

"They call me Hex. You have something I've been looking for." Hex leaned against the large vent, hands still visible.

Tim waited but when they didn't continue, he shifted into a more relaxed stance. "And what would that be?" 

Tim watched as they slumped slightly, giving the impression they were sighing. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Tim raised a brow at that. "Then how do you know I have what you want?"

Hex straitened a little before signing. "Something... Something lead me to this city, something was tugging me here. If it wasn't for that feeling, I never would have stepped foot in this Cursed City. But... certain circumstances left me a lot of free time and the tugging grew near painful. So, I followed it, it lead me to this city, it lead me to you. I had no idea if it was an object or a person." Tim watched as they stretched and straitened fully, shifting to face Red Robin straight on. Tim tensed, as he straightened up himself. "Now standing so close, I can tell the pull is coming from you, you directly, not something on your person. Now, I'm left with the question. 'Why?'."

Tim flinched at the sudden sound of Hex's voice. It was distorted and sounded like it was overlayed by static. He was quick to fall into a more ready stance. "So what now? You going to try capture me to figure it out?"

"No." Red Robin watched as Hex took a step back. "I know what, or rather who, the pull is coming from. Now, I need to figure out Why and How but it's clear you know nothing about it."

With that Red Robin watched as Hex flipped back and over the edge of the roof. Tim gave chase slamming into the roof top barrier and peered over the edge but there was no one there. Hex had vanished. A click from his comms had him snapping to attention. Tapping his comm once he connected to the private channel. "Red, Report."

"The unknown has left, they are apparently in Gotham because something lead them here. They were following it and, according to them, it lead them to me. They don't appear hostile, just someone searching for answers." Tim unlatched his grapple hook. "I believe it would be best to observe but do not engage in case that changes."

"Hn, can I leave this to you Red? Or should I put one of the others on this?" Tim took aim at the next roof. 

"I'll be involved either way." Tim shot his grapple. "But I'll take a back seat on this one, do the paperwork and research, if they make contact again, then I'll put it on a higher priority. O.G.J.J. takes precedence."

"Don't push yourself Red. I'd rather you stepped back from anything involving the Joker." With a tug to insure it was secure, Tim stood on the ledge and swung through the Gotham night, landing on the buildings gravel top. 

"I know B. But it's my case, I'll see it through." Silence fell on the comms. Aim, shoot, check and fly. Red robin soared though Gotham, watching out for any petty crimes or signs of trouble as he did a final lap of his patrol route.

"We're here, I'm here if you need help. Don't forget that Son." The Comms clicked signalling Batman had switched back to the main channel.

Tim's breath hitched as he drew in a deep breath. "I know Dad, I know."

Tim shook himself before making his way through the city and towards his bike. His thoughts on his current case and the new mystery. It would seem he'll be needing a new Pin Board.

*****

Danny narrowed their eyes as they watched the Red Bird fly away. Their Core gave a particularly hard yank as they watch him disappear behind the taller buildings. 'Just what is your connection to me Birdie.' Danny sighed as he thought of just Who the Red Bird is behind the mask. Slinking further into the shadows, Hex vanished into the night. 

*****

"And just where have you been?" His tone was light but the hint of accusation was clear in Hoods voice. Jason watched as Hex slipped into his office and made themself comfortable on one of the couches, stretching out like a particularly satisfied cat. Giving the kid a once over, he gave a mental nod of satisfaction, noting they had no visible or obvious injuries. The kid sat up and began signing.

"Here and there, I got the information you wanted." Hex once again pulled a file out of nowhere and tossed it at him. Jason caught it and was quick to open it and go over the information. Remnants of the Black Mask gang had been seen gathering recently and Jason didn't feel like waiting for them to become a problem. 

"What else were you up to?" Jason looked up from the file to pin Hex with a look. Though the Hood hid it. Hex sat up and pulled their legs up to sit cross-legged, staring right back at Red Hood.

"Bird watching, the red one has caught my interest, seems he has a connection to what I'm looking for." Hex sighed and slumped back into the couch. "After observing him and having a little chat... I have an idea as to what it is but not the how or the why he is connected."

"Whatever it is, it's not gonna cause trouble or put the Bird in danger." It wasn't a question, the threat was clear.

"I don't know. I hope not but with the way my life is going..." Jason observed the way Hex had hunched in on themself. The kid was good at what they do and Jason new the kid truly wanted to help more but something was haunting them, following them from wherever they came from. Jason waited for them to continue. "I have a few theories but I'm not liking any of them or the tapestry they are threading because if I'm right. Then if it weren't for my mother dumping me on my Donor My life could have gone so differently. And I would never have wished my life on another I would have died of guilt if I ever found out."

"Just let me know if you need help, or at least give a heads up if you think things will go south. I may be on the fringes but the Bats and Birds are still allies, nothing better happen ta' Red, yeah hear." Jason turned and headed for his desk, he had plans to make. As he sat down he heard a scuff and looked up. Hex was standing in front off his desk, rocking on their heels. "Ya' need something?"

"I'll be taking the next two nights off, I'll be out of town for a date" Jason felt his brow raise at that. The kid has partner? Huh, would you look at that.

"Oh? Where ya' goin' and who's the unfortunate soul?" Jason smirked at the offended huff he received from the kid.

"1st, None of you business Boss and 2nd, Black Bat." Before Hood could react, Hex had vaulted over the couch and slipped out the door. By the time Jason had gotten up and to the door, Hex was gone.

"Get back 'ere ya' Rat!" Hood yelled down the hall, even knowing it would be useless. "Damn Brat!"

*****

Cass paused in her packing when her phone started blasting 'I'm a Barbie Girl'. Tilting her head in curiosity, she set down the shirt she was folding and went to pick it up. Jason? Why's he calling so late? Sliding her finger over the screen to answer, she quickly held it up to her ear, only to yank it back as Jason's voice blasted through. She stared down at her screen until silence returned before holding it back to her ear. "Done?"

"No, but I've calmed down enough to talk." She hummed as she moved back to her bag. "Are you dating Hex?"

Cass blinked, Did Danny tell him? "Yes."

"Okay, okay. So how do you know my informant?" She could hear Jason shuffling things around and the faint clicks of mental against each other. Probably cleaning his guns. 

"Met them first. became friends." She picked up the shirt and another, as she held her phone to her ear with her shoulder, and held it up to compared the two. "Followed them, learned about Hex. Went on date. Been together 3-4 weeks, more if you count hiding feelings."

"Does anyone else know?" Cass thought about it, she hadn't told anyone, neither had Danny, until now, as far as she knew. she shrugged and packed the green shirt. She noticed Danny liked seeing her in their colors.

"No." Silence fell and she went about packing the last of her things, just as she was zipping up her bag, Jason spoke up again.

"They treating ya' good?" She smiled at the very obvious and familiar tone of protectiveness in his voice.

"Yes, very good." She bit back a giggle at the resigned sigh. She fell quiet for moment before whispering. "They are good. Grew up like me, like you. They are hiding but fighting. They are strong."

She could hear Jason's breath hitch. "Okay, I won't ask. I'm happy for you Cass. You think they'll open up more and start interacting with the other Bats and Birds?"

"Yes, they are searching for something. Something will happen but we will be on their side." They were silent for another moment. "They are willing to ask, to trust but need time."

"No pushing, I got it. Bye Cass, have fun on you date!" The line went dead as Cass blushed only for it to deepen as she felt arms wrap around her and fluffy black hair tickle her neck.

"Big brother being over protective?" Cass nod, a shiver ran down her spine as Danny's lips brushed the skin off her shoulder. "You think he'll try to kill me when we get back."

"No. Make you work more." She felt their breath as they let out a groan but giggled as she felt their lips tilt up in a grin.

"It's worth it." Danny spun her around and started leading her into a dance as 'Can You Feel The Love Tonight' began playing softly from her speakers. She let them twirl her around her room before pulling them onto her bed.

"Shouldn't be here." She giggled at their pout. "Brothers, dad, grandpa Alfred and Steph are here. Steph doesn't knock. Dick knocks but will get suspicious if I take too long to answer.

Danny sighed as they flopped back onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. "Hood knows, the others will find out eventually."

"True." She flipped over so she hovered over them."Brothers will give chase if they find you here. Damien is stabby, Dick will hunt. Tim... depends on sleep level. Dad will try to lock me away and will hunt. Alfred will be disappointed."

"So they are fine with you being at my house but not me being in your room?" They raised a brow at her in amusement and she huffed before letting her full weight full onto them. "Oompf! Oi! There’s nothing to worry about. I'll just turn invisible until they leave."

Before she could reply her door was flung open and she found herself face planting her bed. "Hey Cass... What're you doing?"

Cass rolled over and sat up to see Steph in her doorway. "Resting."

"Ah-huh... I was gonna ask if you want to watch a movie and hangout. Since you're leaving tomorrow?" Cass watched as Steph looked around her room, poking at random things as she went.

"Ok, be down now." Cass made a show of picking up the things that didn't make it into her bag, Steph made a sound of agreement and left, swinging the door shut behind her. A minute passed before Danny blinked back into visibility.

"You weren't kidding when you said she doest knock." Cass thew a shirt at their face, which they promptly phased through. "OK, ok. I'll see you tomorrow."

Danny pulled her towards them and places a kiss on her forehead before drifting to the window and fading into invisibility with a wave. She shook her head, a small smile on her lips.

*****

Tim stared at the fifth board, then at the other four and groaned as he slumped into his chair. Hex was an unknown but asking around and looking up sightings he found they're working with Red Hood and showed up a few weeks after Daniel Napier. Tim stood and dragged the new board over to the others. It would seem that Hex was just another identity for one Daniel Napier.

"Just who are you? And what do you want?!" Tim ran his hands through his hair in frustration and sighed. Looks like he's going to be more involved than he thought.

[saintheartwing]

Analyzing Arcane: The Redemption of Jinx (MAJOR SPOILERS!!!)

I know when to admit when I'm wrong. And I thought Powder, or rather, Jinx...was just plain beyond help. It looked like she'd fully given into her worst self.

And then...Arcane, Season 2, shows me how wrong I was...with the introduction of Isha.

We get a tiny HINT it's not too late for Jinx when she actually HAS a chance to shoot her sister...when her sister comes looking for her in the arcade they spent so much time in, and picks up Claggor's goggles.

She's fingering it, lost in thought about the past, and Jinx cries. It's not just the fact that it's her sister and all her emotions about what's happened recently are flooding, she's probably also thinking about how what she did got her friends killed as she watches her sister hold one of the last remnants of her friend's memory. And she just can't do it. She can't shoot her sister.

She runs off and runs into trouble, and of all people...SEVIKA is the one who helps out. The two used to hate each other, but with Silco gone, the two bond over the mess he's left them in. The Underground's crime bosses are tearing each other apart and innocents are caught in the middle, and they have a hole left in their lives, cuz despite the fact that he didn't do much on his own...Silco had a way of bringing people together and uniting folks that kept order. Things were mostly under control...now they're not. Now, the rules are gone.

And it seems Jinx wants to die. She lets Vi and Cait track her down and they're obviously intent on killing her. And Jinx is just fine with Vi doing that despite an initial and vicious fight.

In truth, when it's clear Vi's won, Jinx is like "I'm glad it was you" and just lies there ready to die. Then...Isha rushes in to save her.

And this...this is how we see what Jinx really needs. Jinx's entire life she has been almost entirely dependent on others for what she needs because she can't exactly manage on her own. The trauma she endured in losing her parents had her relying first on Vander and Vi, then on Silco. Then without him...without ANY kind of support structure...any kind of love...

She just doesn't have anything to live for. Then, with Isha, things change.

Now, she's not building bombs. She's painting bugs and having them do fun little gladiatorial battles. SHE'S the big sister figure who has to be responsible. And while all of this is happening, the city of Zaun is seeing Jinx as a rebellion against the police state Piltover is becoming, using her blue hair as a symbol of uprising, stoked BY Isha who imitates Jinx to help further stoke the flames of rebellion.

Later, Isha gets captured along with a bunch of other Zaun residents and tossed into Stillwater Prison. Jinx goes with Servika to bust them out, and...they're all grateful to see her.

All of them are just so happy she busted them out, she's absolutely stunned. She's NEVER had so many people openly happy to see her. And she's touched. And then...

Then it gets back. Warwick, the werewolf-esque beast that mad scientist Singed's been basically working on in the background of the series gets let loose.

And frankly her gun is like a POPGUN to him, it barely does a thing. It looks bad, real bad...until...he recognizes two things. One...the bomb she's got in her hand when she tries to blow herself and him up together. And two...her face. Her hair. Her eyes.

And he says one word that has Jinx realize the truth. The awful, yet still hopeful truth.

"Powder?"

Yes.

It's Vander. Jinx realizes her father figure isn't dead. She goes to Vi to tell her all about it, realizing that if Vander is TRANSFORMED but still able despite everything to recognize HER...then perhaps all the damage that was done all those years ago, maybe it's not impossible for it to be fixed. They can still be a family. It might not be what it was...but it'd be having her father back. Her sister back. And when they eventually find him in the mines, Vi actually reaches through to him.

I just about broke out crying here. They are a found family once again. Naturally, they want to try and cure their dad OF him being all big, furry and with violent tendencies, and luckily, Victor has a commune of people he's been healing of terrible wounds. He can make the blind see and the lame walk and all that, and he's happy to welcome Vander in, seeing him as perhaps his biggest test. He's a bit more...creepy cult leader but his compassion hasn't changed. For once, the sisters have hope. Vi even suggests "hey maybe we could stay here in this commune, it actually seems really nice" and Jinx is like "Wait...you WANT my opinion"? She'd been afraid Vi wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Now though that Vander seems like he'll be back to his old self, AND she has her sister and Isha though, Jinx is actually happy.

The selfishness she had inside her simply needed to be balanced out with a real support structure. She needed to know she was loved. She needed to know that Vi WOULD never give up on her. That love won't change. Nothing can change that bond, not ever.

Sadly...things end horribly. Singed comes by and he's brought Ambessa AND the Noxian army with them...just as JAYCE has come round. As we find out later on, Jayce has basically been to a bad future and he's seen what he thinks happens if Viktor is allowed to just keep doing his cult stuff...his idea of healing people will actually allow Hextech to overrun all of Piltover and BASICALLY ANNHILATE EVERYTHING into a kind of watercolor painting nightmare. The only way to stop it...is to kill Viktor, who's mentally STILL trying to heal Vander.

So Singed stops the curation of Vander AND with Victor being almost killed by Jayce, Vander is tragically lost in the beast of Warwick, and he's going wild. Worse still, there's only one way they can get away from him AND the Noxian forces, as Isha has gotten hold of the gem cores that have so much magic power...the ones which can EXPLODE. She loads three into Jinx's gun, dives under Warwick, and...

...well...

The good news is our heroes get away. The bad news is Jinx has now lost her father again, AND lost Isha. She is at her absolute lowest point.

She's not eating. She's so dirty and not bathing. Her hair is growing overlong. She even apologies to Cait saying that she never meant to kill Cait's mother, she didn't know she was even in the tower she fired on. Not that it excuses what she did.

Her inner voice in the form of Silco, now with a blue eye to contrast against the orange eye he had in real life, tells her that killing is a cycle. It's only stopped...when someone gets the courage to finally walk away. Jinx feels that he's right. There's only one way she can break the cycle. There is no "Good version" of her. She should die.

But who should show up? The "Boy Savior". Ekko.

Ekko has been VERY busy. Thanks to an experiment with Jayce and Heimerdinger, they got tossed into alternate timelines. In the one he and Heimerdinger ended up in, although Vi died...basically everything went great. Zaun got full freedom, it's basically utopian, his father figure Benzo AND Vander are alive, in fact Silco and Vander made good and they're still friends. Claggor and Mylo are inventors. POWDER is one too and she's...well, CUTE! He actually got a kiss with her on the rooftop they spent so much time at as a child. It's heartbreaking and touching. And he's there now with a "gift"...the work of him, Powder and Heimerdinger in that timeline...a device that sends you back four seconds in time. Though any damage done to you remains.

And so Ekko talks her down from the edge. "No matter WHAT happened in the past, it's NEVER too late to build something new".

She notices the device...and she sees those monkeys. She knows full well SHE didn't build that...though in a way she did, and I think she puts two and two together seeing his time travelling machine. And she makes the choice to fight for Piltover and Zaun against the oncoming hordes of Noxians, fighting alongside her sister.

Thanks to Ekko's time-travelling abilities, Jayce, Jinx, Cait, Mel, all our heroes manage to succeed. But Vi, seeing Vander in the state he's in, can't bring herself to just leave him...which is a mistake. Vander seems basically gone...and so Jinx sacrifices herself to save Vi.

Seemingly blowing herself and Warwick up, though it's implied at the VERY, VERY end that perhaps she's NOT dead, because a zeppelin flying off is the last shot. A zeppelin JUST like the one Powder said one day she'd be flying in...

With THAT...as "The End"..

So...the bottom line of the show being that if you're willing to change and make yourself better...you CAN be. It isn't too late for you. Though you cannot do it on your own. People need to be surrounded with those that love and care for them to give them that final push sometimes, and that's a good thing. The whole season two has shown that if Jinx had the love and care of those who she loved and cared for...she could be the "better version of her". And seeing Vi would never, ever give up on her gave her the strength to be that.

I've never been so happy to be proven wrong about a character. Thank you, Riot Games, and thank you, Fortiche, the French studio that made the beautiful animation for this amazing series.

Seriously, folks. Go watch this on Netflix. PLEASE.

[adobe-outdesign]

omg can you review the mighty poogle 🥺

The Poogle is one of those really abstract Neopets wherein it's just a Creature(TM). What kind of creature? Who knows. I guess they're meant to be vaguely dog-like (seeing as Poogle racing is a thing, and it does sound vaguely like "poodle"), but they really don't lean towards any one specific animal, which is always something I enjoy.

What makes Poogles appealing is undeniably how chubby they are; it makes them look extra cuddly and is part of what gives them their distinctive noses (or lack thereof) and double chins. It also comes with a bit of lore about them living primarily in cold-weather regions, kind of like how seals have blubber to keep them warm.

Beyond that, I also like their stripes; they break up the design just enough without feeling too distracting, similar to their underbellies. The shape of the stripes is also mimicked by their distinctive ears.

I will fully admit though: Poogles got the raw end of the deal when it comes to customization. Not the absolute worst conversion job, mind you, as for the most part they look pretty dang similar—same pose, same proportions, same markings, etc.

However, what got completely messed up is their faces. Originally, Poogles had a soft, fleshy snoot that had two sets of lines to indicate that it was mostly fat and that it went back in space a bit. Removing this upper line makes their snouts look hard, and also has the side effect of making their snout and even their entire head look too wide.

Likewise, the chin got messed up. The Poogle originally had a pretty distinct double chin/fat neck that, once again, showed how chubby they were. More importantly, their chin lines weren't closed off, so their heads bled directly into their bodies. On converted Poogles, they now just look like they have one weird normal chin instead of a chin and neck. The end result is actually kind of uncanny if you stare at them for too long. It's a shame, because like I said, everything else about the conversion works, and there was no reason to change the elements they did. They're still cute, mind you, just slightly less so.

Favorite colours:

MSP: Species-specific colors always tend to be iconic and a delight, and MSP Poogles certainly are no exception. They're basically the same thing as a regular plushie Poogle, except Evil(TM), with red eyes and a nasty set of sharp teeth (side note: canonically, all Poogles actually have sharp teeth; you just rarely see them). The unconverted version also is bipedal, unlike the regular unconverted plushie, which was quadrupedal.

Both converted and unconverted MSPs have a super fun chaotic gremlin energy to them, and both designs are good depending on which stance you prefer (I kind of like the converted quadrupedal, though granted, the loss of some stitching and extra softness is a bit of a shame.)

Toy: This color literally just released last month, but a toy Poogle based off of the good old iDog is just delightful. Even if you don't know anything about iDogs, the design is still good, with the eyes serving to complete a multi-colored hexagon that draws attention to the head, and the rest of the body considering of just a smooth off-white and black.

Zombie: The mindless eyes on this one are just absolutely delightful and give it a ton of personality. I also like the details, such as a few stitches here and there, a scraggly mouth, scratch lines against the usual stripes, and liver spots. As a bonus, it looks good both with PB clothing and without.

BONUS: I don't normally mention "recolor" Neopets as much on these reviews just because they tend to be mostly by-the-numbers, but the pastle Poogle is honestly gorgeous, with subtle gradients and a low-contrast blue and pink color scheme, helped by colored lineart. It's nothing fancy, but it's definitely one of the all-time best pastels out there.

[hsgucci94]

What’s not being said out loud

Word count: 1k

A/N: this gif is how I imagined his face looking like :((

masterlist

———

“No, all I’m saying is that you should set some boundaries with him,” Harry spoke, trying to keep calm and not letting it all out like he wanted to do. He had been stuck in that place for years, not being fully honest with her, but mostly himself. And now that Y/N had a boyfriend, someone very different to all her previous exes and with whom she saw herself in the future, it had him panicking.

“What? Boundaries?”, Y/N replied, astonished, “If anything, it’s you I should set boundaries with, not James!,” she quickly shook her head, in an attempt to make her angry feelings disappear. He just couldn’t be for real right now. “You’re being so rude, Harry, and for what? I know you don’t like him but c’mon! He’s my boyfriend!”

“And he’s trying to keep you away from me!”

“Well, seeing how you’re behaving right now I think he’s got his reasons! What's got into you? You’re acting like a child!”

“I’m not!” he replied right away, "I'm just expressing how I see things between you and James from an outside perspective. How even is that overreacting?!"

"I just told you James wants us two to hang out a bit less, and your instant reaction is to tell me he's toxic and controlling? Well, you're not one to talk right now!"

Harry got up from the couch, as angry as he was anxious. He quickly made his way to the kitchen. What was supposed to be a chill afternoon at his place, watching movies and catching up before he left for his last leg of the Love On Tour, ended up turning into the messiest argument they had ever had since they had known each other, almost ten years now.

He rested his hands on the cold countertop, his body leaned forward as his head hit the drawer in front on him. He shut his eyes and forced his mind to go blank, but it didn’t work. He could only think about Y/N, and how it now seemed he was losing her for good. And only because he was a coward that wouldn’t admit his feelings to her.

At 19 years old he called it a crush, which he didn’t take into action because she soon got a boyfriend; someone that went to the same college as her, or whatever. He never bothered remembering that guy's name anyway. At 20, he almost confessed he liked her, but then Y/N went on about how she considered him her very best friend and... Well, he basically got friend-zoned. At 21 he tried another shot and this time he did it, he really did. He told her he liked her..., like a lot. And all he got for an answer were her giggles, and her saying that he was so drunk that he had probably no idea what he was saying. That part was true, thought, he got pretty wasted that night, only because Zayn was no longer part of the band and that hurt, but it didn’t mean his words were bullshit. Because they were not! Alcohol was simply in his system to boost him and give him the confidence to finally open up to her in that sense.

Fast forward to the next day, he got too embarrassed he decided to never bring that topic up again. Neither did she. Ever since then, he had been loving her from a corner, silently watching her fall for one asshole after another, wishing he had the chance they all were gifted.

Time passed, and Harry managed to focus on their friendship and see her the same way she saw him: as his best friend. But then those feelings he was forced to hide under the blanket for so long resurfaced and now he just couldn’t put them back. There was just one issue, and his name was James, a guy Y/N had been dating for half a year and who apparently didn’t like Harry very much. To be fair, the feeling was mutual. Who did James think he was to keep him away from Y/N? She might have dated some douchebags award-winners, but at least none of them ever tried to push him out of her life.

Maybe James saw what Y/N was so oblivious to; maybe James knew Harry wanted her, as well.

"Hey... H? I'm... I'm sorry."

He opened his eyes and turned around at the sound of her voice, seeing her walking towards him with a distraught countenance. "I didn’t mean any of it, it was just the heat of the moment. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, it's okay," he nodded, smiling faintly at her, "I didn’t mean what I said either. James is a great guy, it's just that-"

"Tour's about to start and it has you a bit anxious. I understand," she passed her arms around him and hugged him. He tended to turn into a bunch of nerves the previous days before going on tour, a bad habit he had developed during his One Direction days, which got him doing and saying things he mostly regretted.

"Yeah, you’re right," he mumbled against her hair, although that was not the case at all, "Will you come see me on tour?"

"Pss. Obviously,” she giggled, turning her head to look up at him, “Me and James already got that planned out."

Of course James would be there too.

[madsworld15]

Why Queer as Folk (2000) Was Seemingly Forgotten

An analysis by a professional TV Critic

Let me start off by saying the initial run of Queer as Folk and its current resurgence can be represented by this mantra by Brian Kinney: There are two kinds of straight people. The ones who hate you to your back and the ones who hate you to your face.

The initial run of QAF coincides with the first half of the statement: hate behind your back.

So, recently I started thinking about how in the early 2000s, Queer as Folk seemed to be on a trajectory of going down in TV history. Then, seemingly just as quickly, people stopped talking about it. So much so that by the time I finished watching it in 2009, I only got a few good months of chatter on social media platforms (Twitter mostly) with other fans before it just stopped being talked about in a wide-reaching manner.

I will even admit that I stopped thinking about the show not long after that and wasn't reminded of its full impact on my psyche until late last year when it was back on easy-access streaming due to Showtime's merge with Paramount+.

But why is it that this show is only just now starting to pick up speed again? (I'm talking fan cams on TikTok, memes, etc.)

I have some theories about all of this, so buckle in.

To really get a grasp of what Queer as Folk was working against when it aired on Showtime -- a paid subscription channel back before the days of an overabundance of streaming services, you have to look at the climate we were living in. Also, how inaccessible a paid TV channel was for most people.

So, in the early 2000s, life in the United States, and probably the world, but I'm not fully educated enough to comment on that, wasn't the greatest for those in the LGBT+ community. It would be years before the President of the United States would pass legislation that Gay Marriage be legal nationwide.

Employers were able to fire people for being gay, and the employees couldn't fight it. Gay parents had very little in terms of rights to their own children; in fact, some couldn't even adopt the kids they wanted to because there were no laws against discrimination.

All of these things are depicted left and right throughout Queer as Folk, with Ted getting fired from his job, Michael being extremely closeted at his job, and Melanie not being afforded rights to Gus because of adoption regulations during that time.

So, for our community to receive a show that was by us for us, we were overjoyed. There was something so resolutely refreshing about the unapologetic manner in which these characters were allowed to present themselves and live their lives. And while the show gets dinged today for its lack of racial diversity, we were glad to see queer people represented in a variety of ways -- we got to see the Emmett's and Justin's of the world being friends with the Ted's and Michael's and Brian's.

Not only that, these characters got to love who they wanted, however, they wanted, and whenever they wanted. Characters like Michael and Emmett could go from wanting to freely fuck whoever to finding that special person and settling down. We got to see Ted find the right guy at the wrong time over and over and over again until it was finally the right guy at the right time.

But most of all, we got to see a character like Brian, who, in the hands of a straight person, might've actually gone "soft" and "domestic" just by being with Justin. Instead, we got to see him never change his opinion about what he wanted, but still finding love in his own way.

However, not long after the show ended (like around 2008), the climate in the United States started to shift more towards open acceptance of the queer community. So, people stopped needing an escape from the hardships of real life because things seemed to be on an upward trend toward love and equality. Therefore, Queer as Folk sort of fell off the radar of viewers because we didn't want more of the gritty, complicated, messy queer stories. We wanted our stories to be happy and lighthearted.

(Keep in mind I am speaking in terms of general viewers. There are always exceptions to the rule)

Then, in 2016, Donald Trump was elected President of the United States, and suddenly, it was totally okay for people to openly mock us and hate us.

This is where the resurgence of QAF falls into the second half of Brian's mantra: hate us to our face.

Around 2016/2017, people started talking about this show again. And the love and fervor for it has only increased exponentially over the last few years, especially with the onset of COVID-19 and the merging of Showtime/Paramount+. Both events made the public more aware and able to access the show.

Now more than ever, we need something that isn't afraid to show queer people as we are, not as the media and those outside our community paint us. We need to feel like there is a media format that understands what we are like when we are with our closest friends. We say things that, in today's world, would probably get us canceled, and we judge those around us and have very biased opinions about certain people.

Brian Kinney's unapologetic "I am who I am and fuck anyone who tries to change me" attitude is the exact level of strength and courage we wished more people right now had. His biased, but not illogical, opinion of non-queers needs to be loud. It needs to be shouted from the rooftops because we now live in a world where we are hated just for existing as we are.

Even our rights that had been given to us just a decade ago are being stripped away from us once more. So, the fight for love and equality continues, and the hope that Queer as Folk gives us is important now more than ever.

So, people are seeking this story out and are begging others in the world to watch it and understand that we have always been here. We've always been these flawed but loving characters. We deserve to be heard.

In 2022, Peacock tried its best to create a redo of the series but failed miserably. But why? If we are desperately looking for queer media that is gritty, unapologetic, and real, then why didn't we latch onto this latest iteration?

The answer is simple. This new version was great at creating a more diverse image of the characters created for the Showtime series but failed to understand that recreating things almost note for note with entirely new characters isn't what we want.

It would've been better if the show stuck to broad-stroke themes and made these characters and their experiences their own. Queer today is different than queer in the early 2000s, just like queer in the 2000s was different than queer in the 1980s. Trying to put queer 2000s stories into a queer 2020s world isn't going to work.

We need to embrace this resurgence of Queer as Folk (2000) and give it the love and attention it should've always had. Perhaps finally giving its rightful due in the eyes of the history of queer media. Does it have its issues as the world changes? Absolutely, but we also can't sit here and deny the insane level of impact this show had on the queer media we now know and love.

We wouldn't have casually queer shows like Schitt's Creek, Heartstopper, and Our Flag Means Death if Queer as Folk hadn't broken down our walls and made us realize that we can demand stories for queer people by queer people.

[shatterthefragments]

FUCK I AAID ID TRY TO TAKE MY BREAK TOMORROW EARLIER SO I COULD ATTEND A zoom COMMITTEE MEETINH 😭

I could use the extra money (especially with at least one more concert… at least one is potentially local and I can just drive there) but I also semi rely on that mid workday tumblr scrolling to get me through it rn. (Guess we’ll see if I can even leave when I want. It was an hour later than I wanted today)

Like the two girls who work sometimes together there. Like. It’s been at least a month or so now I think. Probably 3 months bc of the training benchmark thing that they had to do today instead of working. Straight up if I didn’t have a second person in I would’ve fully just broken down today. But uh. They still fully need to do a full day to shadow a clerk and then a full day where they’re supervised. I am not trained as a clerk. I am serving as their knowledge to do their jobs. I used to feel ambivalent towards my birth name but I hate it right now. The “xx” before I need to leave everything and go help them. Just fills me with dread.

And I’m okay with a bit of a language barrier -they can still communicate. But they shouldn’t necessarily need to ask me everything still. I am positive they can check a deck for a box labeled “waffles” without me needing to hold their hand through it. And they shouldn’t need me to Leave My Task to come help them ESPECIALLY when I’m with someone else (the customer complained about me :P and the store manager let me know after he left. Anyway if I have to do the “add it to the list of things to do for sure” that I’m writing in OT and that he said I should do it before I leave bc fuck even today I ended up staying late)

ALSO fuck customers who only want stuff fresh from this very day or fresh from the freezer and DONT PUT A SPECIAL ORDER IN and just request it whenever they come in. Every time. (Sometimes. The answer is no. I don’t have it cut up and available)

Would it help if I cried in front of you when I tell you that I don’t have any available right now?

Torn between catharsis and FUCK if I’m going to cry (at least mostly) because of work then I should at least be paid for it.

…I haven’t cried at (this) work since the last time I was yelled at by a coworker. (All previous times crying at this workplace were because she yelled at me) (I was almost crying. I almost went into the Cooler to have a cry)

Not to make light of it all but I’m like. One more bad Monday with those two away from a hospital stay. (I can’t bc the hospitals here are famously bad for mental health) (I have an appt and a meeting after next week’s Monday)

But like. Can’t sully any of my crafting and leather knives. (They’re very nice and I want to collect more - prettier too would be nice) but seeing the knives at work and knowing they’re freshly sharpened. It’s just. WILL YOU HEAR ME NOW?! I am screaming. I admitted OUT LOUD that I am struggling on Mondays right now. Can’t have any more wounds to heal. I have to keep my skin unbroken so I can get more tattoos. It’ll be so much harder to stop if I start. Bc the URGENCY in the urge is so fucking strong. It didn’t help when I did last but maybe it would now hit I can’t I can’t I can’t

And I’ll be really sad if what I suspect are a TON of new moles (…or maybe freckles??) are cancerous 1) I hate checking them I can’t remember and I don’t have the organization to photograph and monitor each one 2) I’d have to get the tattoos I booked somewhere else and I’m not sure if I’d go for my upper left arm or my upper front thigh area. (If you’re actually reading this I am taking input on this in case) 3) I don’t want cancer, and it would break my parents’ hearts 4) I don’t want to die (despite the Desperation telling me I do)

Im splintering. Im fragmented. And I KNOW that a large part of it is how tired and exhausted I’ve been. I AM going to bed relatively soon.

I want to get high and forget

Weed’s legal it’s probably fine

(Im still paranoid it’ll cause a psychotic break and I’m already so frequently disconnected dissociated and in such a state of unreality it’s terrifying to me. Because when they taught us about psychosis I related very heavily to a lot of it and I’m scared to admit it. I think I’m okay. It would’ve been a lot to be 15+ years deep so far and nobody noticing nobody being concerned I think I’m okay I just need to get back on the ocean. It will heal me.)

I want to not be in pain

I want to externalize some of it

I want SOME FUCKING HELP. (If I just ask I could. Allegedly. Get a referral and coverage for some therapy) but I’m okay I always am. I’ve survived 100% of my worst days and all that :P but uh. A clerk to help those two ACTUALLY FUCKING LEARN (as if they’d listen) would be Huge.

(But if I were to do edibles with a friend I trust her. I trust she’d know what to do.)

Fuck I don’t even feel like sadsturbating. I mean (I don’t like to use lube so) I already sorta went too long the other day(s) and bled a little so I shouldn’t anyway.

1000% down for someone to knead my ass until it bruises while we snuggle though.

…I just ran my retainer cleaner without my retainer inside of it… and then forgot to put it in. It’s in now. I flossed while it actually got cleaned. Which is good. But fuuuck.

“Diagnosed with a sinus infection” with Covid symptoms… I don’t want her to come back to work tomorrow (I would rather be down a person),,,