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everythingisromant1c · 5 months ago

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It's Always Been You - Chapter 12

james potter x fem!reader

summary - Things hadn't gotten much better with James, and you knew you could only go so long without talking to him—after all, he was still your best friend. But, considering all that'd happened, along with some encouragement from your friends, you knew the time had come to finally admit you wanted more than that.

wc [6.2k]

a/n: alr guys ... very happy and also sad to say this is the last chapter of it's always been you!! :( i've loved every minute of writing this series as well as sharing it (its become my baby atp), and it is definitely because of all the love and support everyone reading has given it. thank u to everyone stuck around to this point, & i hope u guys enjoy this last chapter!! i send all my hugs and kisses <3 - e

all chapters | <- Chapter 11

It'd been another hour or two until everyone had fully returned from Hogsmeade and dinner was being served in the Great Hall. You finally changed out of your dress and into your everyday clothing again, already feeling better, but that didn't mean you felt good. You didn't think you could feel good when both your brain and heart were hurting like they were. And worst of all, the one person you'd go to in times like these for comfort was the same person you couldn't go to. Not now.

The girls had been doing their best to get your mind off of everything that had happened that day, aside from when Marlene profusely apologized to you for letting Potter hear her outburst in the common room.

"Although, I have to say," she admitted afterward. "I'm not completely sorry for him that he had to hear it. I may be brutal but I never tell a lie."

That fact didn't leave you as you sat with her and Lily in the Great Hall for dinner, a number of seats away from the other Marauders. You recognized with a skip in your heartbeat that James was with them, surprisingly enough since you knew how he was accustomed to skipping meals in the dining hall when he wanted to be alone, a habit you both unfortunately shared. But that didn't mean he was enjoying himself either.

You could see even from your seat down the table that he wasn't saying much, mostly keeping to himself quietly, something so out of character for him yet you'd seen him do it constantly the entire week. You wanted to yell at him and shake him silly, but you also wanted to hug him. When you caught yourself in the midst of those thoughts you turned back to your own spot at the table shamefully.

You tried to force yourself to eat, catching your friends' concerned looks at your full plate, but you didn't feel much like it. Especially not when you still felt maybe a dozen pairs of eyes on you from every corner of the Great Hall.

Even with all that'd happened since just that morning, the rumors and whatever else people had come up with to talk about had not yet been forgotten about by the school like your friends said it would be. Then you thought about whether news had spread of your disastrous date in Hogsmeade, and prayed that nobody had caught wind of that incident either. You didn't think you could handle any more of the staring.

Immediately after you had that thought, you spotted a fifth-year in Ravenclaw robes walking past your table, watching as he blatantly pointed at you as he spoke to his friend, and you looked down at your plate with hardened eyes.

You heard Marlene scoff from next to you. "Hey!" she called to the boy. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it was rude to point?"

The fifth-year didn't respond to her but looked to his friend, hurriedly taking a seat at his own table, his whispers being drowned out in the loudness of the dining hall.

Marlene fumed from next to you. "I can't believe these people. Are they really that bored with their own lives that they're so obsessed with a bloody rumor?"

You shook your head toying with your fork. "Just ignore them. That's what I've settled on doing."

She sighed from beside you and you thought that'd be the end of everything, until you heard gasps from down the table. You looked up and followed the sounds and were met with a sight not even the magic of Hogwarts could've prepared you for.

James—your James—had stood up on the bench he'd once been sitting in, and you thanked Merlin he wasn't standing fully on the table; though you had absolutely no idea what he could possibly be up to, you knew it couldn't be anything good. He cupped a hand to his mouth as your heartrate picked up.

"Can I have everyone's attention?"

He didn't have to ask twice for it. His voice boomed out loudly, something that seemed to come naturally to him, and the noise in the Great Hall had died out in a mere second until it was almost completely silent—quiet enough for you to hear the beating of your heart in your chest as you looked up at him. Your throat went dry.

"Not that it's any of anyone's business," he started confidently to the hundreds of eyes now looking at him, tone nothing but sober. "But nothing happened in the broom closet. Or in the locker room."

You felt the churning in your stomach claw up into your throat, then felt it drop back down, keeping you stationed in your seat. He didn't give much context to his declaration, but with the popularity of the topic amongst the school, it didn't seem like he needed to. His voice almost seemed to echo, all other noises drowning out as everyone stared up at him. James looked around the entire room appearing completely unafraid and you didn't know how the hell he did it; you probably looked more fearful than him.

"So," he began again, "I don't want to see or hear anyone talking about those rumors any longer. And if anyone has a problem with that, they can answer to me. Alright?"

Of course, nobody said anything then, but you could see in their eyes that they were going to listen to him. Or at least, they'd make sure they didn't get caught going against him. Maybe it was from his impenetrably confident voice or his respected status around the school, you weren't sure, but he had that unique effect on people in an almost effortless way.

When it was clear he'd gotten his point across, he scanned his eyes over the sea of students until they found yours. In a dizzying way, it felt like you were the only two in the room for a moment, as cliché as the thought sounded in your head.

You didn't know what had motivated him to do what he did, but you could see in his eyes something fragile that juxtaposed the self-assured look they'd had only seconds ago. He looked away again and stepped back down to floor level once more, not taking a moment before striding out of the Great Hall, his form disappearing seconds after.

Even without his physical presence, his action seemed to linger over the room for a moment more before chatter broke out once again. You were still frozen in place, not knowing if moving would finalize the idea that whatever just happened was real and not just part of some wild dream.

Marlene had confirmed that it definitely had happened, however, when she turned to you with her jaw dropped, an amazed but delighted sparkle in her eye. "Someone tell me you saw that too."

"Oh we saw it," rang Lily, who also looked much too happy about that fact, probably just relieved James's antics weren't centered on her for once. You could see them both staring at you expectantly, waiting for you to react. You could also see the boys in your peripheral, the three of them remaining at the table searching your face for a reaction.

Yet, all you could do was stand up and walk hurriedly towards the exit. Dozens of conversations rushed past your ears as you did, a blur of remarks ranging from "Potter's lost it" to "He's so bloody fit." Whatever they were saying, you noted with gratefulness in the back of your mind that none of the conversations were about you.

You reached the doorway and stopped once you were a safe distance away in the hallway, heaving breaths in for a moment to yourself before finding that you weren't alone. All of your friends had followed you without blinking an eye, and you didn't know whether you found it endearing or inconvenient. Though, to be fair, you didn't know where you were going. You just knew you couldn't sit there and pretend as if nothing had happened.

You blinked at the three boys who neared you with puzzled looks on each of their faces. "Did you guys know anything about this?"

"No," promised Sirius. "In fact, James has hardly said anything to us since this morning."

You shook your head to yourself, feeling breathless. "I can't ... believe he would do that."

"Really?" Lily stared at you. "I mean, it's Potter we're talking about. It's exactly something he would do."

You couldn't fight the smile that tugged on the corners of your lips even as you shook your head. You ran a hand over your hair as the blonde from next to you hit you in the shoulder.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" You frowned over at her as she stared at you expectantly. "Go to him."

You stilled, gaping at her. "What?"

"Go to him. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

You tipped your head at her like it would help you understand her better, parting your drying lips. "I thought you said he was a selfish git." You heard Remus snort from beside you.

"I did, sure," reasoned Marlene, not without a hint of pride. "But only because I thought he was ruining your chances of moving on now that you were over him. But seriously, I can see your face when you look at him." She shook her head. "That's not the look of someone who wants to move on."

Your eyes flickered over her face as she spoke, an infinite number of thoughts overtaking you. In the silence of your thinking, a Hufflepuff boy walked past the six of you in the hallway, staring all the while.

"What are you looking at?" snapped Marlene, turning to him without missing a beat. "Did you not just hear Potter?"

Like he'd heard him loud and clear, and also like he was scared of Marlene, he hurried away with his head bent forward. Satisfied, the blonde turned back to you. At your conflicted expression, she asked, "Well?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "It's just that," you began, not even knowing where you were going with your rambling. "I've spent so long trying to get over him. It's not fair to myself to just forget all of that, and it definitely wasn't fair to Sebastian-"

"For Merlin's sake," cut in Lily, to your surprise. "You keep talking about what's fair and what's unfair, but what about you? What do you want?"

You stared at her, beginning to feel breathless under the eyes of all your friends. "It's not just about what I want. It's not that simple."

"But what if it is?" she questioned. "I know how difficult this has all been for you. And I know you said Potter doesn't just get to realize his feelings for you and suddenly be with you, that it doesn't work like that. But what if it does?" She raised her hands at her sides. "Not everything is a perfect story to tell. Especially not when it comes to you two. It's not every day you fall in love with your best friend and he finally sees that he's fallen for you too. Are you seriously going to let him go because of some made-up system of rules?"

Your breath was becoming staggering now, and you didn't know what to think, because everything they were telling you sounded so right.

"I don't know," you began unsurely. "Of course, I don't want to lose him. Not talking to him for the past week has been harder than I ever could've imagined. I don't even know what it would feel like to have to do it for longer than I already have been." You blinked down at your shoes, truly realizing those things at the same rate you said them. "I think I just ... miss him."

"Of course you miss him." Marlene looked at you sympathetically. "That's why I think you should go tell all this to him."

You felt bile rising in your throat. "I don't even know if he'd want to see me after all we've said to each other."

"Are you joking?" Remus butted in exasperatedly. "Prongs is bloody in love with you. Can't you see that?"

"Remus," you warned softly because you didn't know how much more of this hope you could take before you did something you'd regret.

"I'm telling the truth." His voice was heavy with meaning. "Maybe it took him a while to realize it himself, but the rest of us have had to sit back and watch you both act like you don't have feelings for each other for years. Believe me, the only reason he's in his room right now and not with you is because he thinks that's what you want."

Your brows pinched. "You can't truly know that."

"Really?" he laughed. "What do you think we talked about that night Vance asked you out?"

Your expression faltered and you forced yourself to think back to the night James had begun acting distant from you, though it wasn't difficult to, the storyline of it all clicking into place in your head.

"You," breathed Remus. "We talked about you."

"Not to mention," Sirius added, "we're the ones who've had to spend every night in our dorm listening to him bitch and moan about Vance this and Vance that." You swallowed at your friends' words, but they didn't quit.

"And we know James was being a right idiot today," Sirius insisted honestly. "But you should've seen him this morning right after you two argued. He was heartbroken. More than he'd ever been over Evans." He turned to the redhead in question. "No offense, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes lightheartedly. "Trust me, Black, none taken."

He nodded and turned back to you swiftly. "So for you to think that James would want anything other than to fix things with you and just be with you is bloody mental."

You stared at all of your friends who were looking so determinedly back at you that you didn't think you could tell them 'no' now. But still, your feet didn't budge.

"It's not just that," you almost whispered. "I guess I'm just ... scared. What if it goes wrong and we get into some ridiculous fight again? What then?"

Marlene took a hold of your shoulders, slightly scaring you in her resoluteness. "Potter just stood up and yelled at the entire bloody school and you're trying to tell us you'rescared?" She shook you a little, and your friends smirked from behind her. "Be a Gryffindor for Godric's sake! Go to him!"

Before you could say anything more, she was turning you around and shoving you a little until you had the momentum you needed to take steps toward the Gryffindor common room. You made it all the way up the nearest set of steps before you paused, turning back to your friends with a grateful smile.

"Thank you, you guys." You expected them to share the sweet moment with you, but they only rolled their eyes.

"Go, woman!" Sirius groaned, and you rolled your eyes back at them, but it lacked any real annoyance.

You didn't know exactly what you were planning on doing, but you didn't have time to think about it because your legs were carrying you speedily through the halls in your anxious state and wouldn't let you stop until you reached the portrait entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Taking a steadying breath in, you said the password and entered the room.

With everyone else still being at dinner in the Great Hall, it wasn't exactly difficult to find James. He sat in the common room, his brunette head of curls visible to you in the low light. They covered the majority of his face that you could see, his head tipped downwards with his elbows resting on his knees. That changed within the blink of an eye as you entered the room, his head swiftly lifting until he locked eyes with you, and you had to fight a shiver at the feeling it sent shuddering through you.

He seemed to think you were just going to go to your own dorm and ignore him, and he averted his eyes to look somewhere else, maybe the fireplace, until you left—but you didn't. You only walked closer to him until you were separated by only one of the couches, the distance still small enough to make your breathing quicken.

At the soundlessness of your stilled footsteps, James looked back up and met your eyes again, and he swallowed. Clearly, he hadn't expected you to make any move to talk to him that night, even after the scene he'd made in the Great Hall. The problem was that you hadn't expected yourself to either, and now you didn't know what you wanted to say first, because there were certainly a million things you had to make sure he knew.

"Thank you," you said, because you figured it was a good place to start. He nodded up at you, his eyes not revealing much of anything, but you didn't let that sway you. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Of course I did." His voice was stubborn, but too sincere for how little his expression gave away.

You looked down at your feet, letting a moment pass before speaking again. "Well, now it seems like everyone is going to be talking about you from now on."

"That doesn't matter to me." James's voice cut through the air richly, and when you looked back up from the floor he was staring at you meaningfully. "They can say whatever the hell they want. As long as they're not talking about you."

Your shoulders dropped at his words, and the way he held your eyes as he said them made your heart beat faster in your chest. It hadn't even been a full day since you'd last spoken to him, but you already missed him.

"They wouldn't leave you alone," he said concretely, his tone beginning to fill with emotion. "And then, I heard what Marlene said in the common room, about some girl harassing you in the library? I-" he shook his head frustratedly, rubbing at his forehead with one of his hands. "I'm just mad at myself that I've let it go on for this long. Or that I didn't even know that happened."

You already felt too emotional for your liking, the feelings inside of you swirling more aggressively at every word he said to you. "It's not like it's your fault, James."

"Well it's not like I did much to stop it, did I?" He seemed genuinely angry at himself now, and you didn't know what you could do to help. A painful lump was rising in your throat, but you stayed rooted in your spot behind the sofa. "And I'd ask you why you didn't come and tell me, but that'd be a bloody stupid question."

He shook his head, eyes becoming wistful like he was recalling a memory, one that pained him. "Earlier, when Marlene was defending you in the common room, the look on your face was ... I don't know. Crushed. Sad."

You swallowed at the memory, because that had been exactly how you were feeling, amongst thousands of other ways. James looked down at his lap.

"I just wanted to try and help, do anything to make that look on your face go away, but I couldn't. So I just kept replaying how you looked in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I hated myself because I realized you were only hurting because of me. And that was the worst part. Realizing that it was all my fault."

You felt yourself wanting to take a step towards him, wanting to just reach out to him as the tips of your fingers teemed with the longing you felt in your chest. "James," you began, your voice hushed. "It's not all your fault."

You meant it. To try and say to yourself that you had no part in all the confusion between the two of you would be a blatant lie, one that you couldn't let James go on believing, especially not with the pained look on his face.

He only shook his head at you. "It is," he insisted. "And here you go, being perfect towards me when I don't deserve it." A muscle worked overtime in his jaw. "Marlene was right. I was being selfish, and petty, and a lot of other things, but most importantly, I wasn't being a good friend." He paused, a grieving confliction tugging at his brow. "That's ... that's not what friends do."

You went still then too, the word 'friend' hanging in the air between you with a weight that only made you tired. The truth was that cobwebs had grown in the house where you'd fostered that unforgiving title, and it felt like some intangible force had locked you both inside with it blindly.

"Yeah, well," you began, your voice small, "we've been doing plenty of things that friends don't do, lately.Like you said, we kissed, right?" You let out a breathy sound like a laugh that lacked any joy, and the way James's eyes flickered up at you knocked the rest of the air right out of you.

"About that," he began hesitantly, and you could tell he was thinking about both the night it'd happened and that morning when you'd fought, just like you were. "I know you don't want that to mean anything, so it- ... it doesn't have to. Even if I want it to. Because it doesn't matter what I want—what matters to me is you."

You were thankful you had the couch next to you to brace a hand on, because you'd never felt so swept up by a conversation and you weren't sure how much longer you could stand the way your heart was nagging at you.

"You were right," swore James, but the slight shake of his eyes back and forth on your face didn't look as adamant as he sounded. "It's not fair for me to expect something from you when you already got over me."

The words you'd shouted at him in Hogsmeade that morning sounded foreign and wrong coming from his lips, and you knew the months of dishonesty that laced them like you knew the back of your hand.

"And it's too late now, I get that." His voice went from deep and determined to on the cusp of breaking, and it killed you. "I just want to know that you're happy, and if being happy means being with Vance instead of me, then ... I can deal with that."

You watched as he swallowed, like he was forcing the words to come from his lips even if it pained him. The way he hadn't broken eye contact with you the whole while was starting to make your head spin.

Your blinking sped up, maybe holding back the emotion you knew you was fighting to come out, and you whispered, "James."

Maybe you hadn't been loud enough, or maybe he just knew you'd try to disagree with him again, but he only continued determinedly at you.

"I know I probably went and ruined your chances with Vance, like an idiot, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you another date with him." He nodded at you once firmly, and within a second he was standing up, taking an intentional step forward. "Hell, I'll even go talk to him right now and-"

"James," you called again, louder this time. "Stop."

You put a hand out and it landed on his arm softly but firmly, and all you could was pray you could find the right words to say to him as he stared at you, level with you now in an unsteadying way.

"You didn't ruin my chances with Sebastian. It wouldn't have worked out regardless, even if I'd wanted it to. Because being with him isn't what I want." You shook your head, recalling back what James had said to you only moments before. "He wouldn't have made me happy." You sounded desperate now. "He's not you."

James stilled, his glistening eyes the only thing showing movement as they danced across your face intensely, though you saw them widen with something bright like hope. "What?"

The confusion of the word that he'd practically whispered out unspeakably attested to how you felt yourself, the terrain of the land you were exploring right there and then with James uncharted and rocky. You pushed on, knowing there was no going back now.

"Marlene wasn't completely right, James. She only said all of those things because I'd spent all this time trying to convince her—and myself—that I didn't still have feelings for you. But I do, clearly." You tipped your head down for a moment in exasperation and exhaustion, willing yourself to keep going. "Everyone can see it. All of our friends. Hell, even Sebastian could see it." You laughed, though your eyes were growing blurry. "So for me to try to push those feelings down any longer would just be lying to you and to myself." You let out an exasperated breath. "And I'm so sick of lying."

Your shoulders sunk as you stood there, a steadily shrinking distance between you and James that was both comforting and daunting to you. You couldn't do anything but watch as James's face stilled and then shifted as he thought, studying your own face in a way that made you conscious of every shift in your expression.

"I just," he began, and then raked a hand through his hair. "Why did you feel like you needed to hide how you felt in the first place?"

You felt your mouth go dry at the question—one you knew came only out of a desperate curiosity and nothing else—and your mind began spinning. The last few years of your friendship seemed to swirl in your head, flickering in and out of focus as you tried to come up with an answer.

"I-" you began, willing yourself to say something, anything at all. "I was scared." The words rang true so much that they made your heart pinch. "Scared that you wouldn't feel the same and I'd go and ruin everything. That I'd lose you."

James's hands lifted up from his sides like he wanted to reach out to you, and he did. He took your hand in his, grasping lightly at your fingertips in a touch that steadied you and made you feel lightheaded at the same time. He shook his head at you with a firm hold in his brow.

"You could never lose me."

His lips were parted, and his hazel eyes glistened over in the low common room lighting like the thought of your suggestion was painful enough on its own. Looking at him then, his face lined with years of a comforting, steadying familiarity, you knew deep in your chest that what he said was true. But that didn't alter all that you'd felt for the past number of years.

"It's not just that," you said, looking down at his hand that held yours and blinking away the guilt that crept into your stomach, because it wasn't James's fault that you had felt this way. "Even in Hogsmeade, James." Your voice was becoming unsteady again and it only frustrated you more. "What if everything you said you felt for me was just some spur-of-the-moment thing from some kiss? What if you didn't feel the same way a week from now? Or a month? I knew I wouldn't be able to get over that fear. Especially when I'd been hiding how I felt from you for years. And then there were your feelings for Lily to think about and ... I don't know."

You trailed off, finally able to stop yourself. You felt petty, so petty, because you were so close to getting what you knew your heart wanted, but you felt the insistent need to ruin things for yourself and think of every way things could go wrong. You'd never felt closer to James then, but also never farther away. All you could do was stand there and wait for him to say something, anything.

James stayed unmoving for a beat staring at you, wordlessly taking everything in with a fragility in the air that hallowed your labored breathing. Then he started to shake his head like he was in disbelief. He ran a hand through his brown hair.

"For Merlin's sake."

His voice was low, a mutter, and he stared at the ground for a moment in thought before dropping the hand that once held yours, turning and walking away from you, leaving up the steps to his dorm room. You watched his back as he disappeared, your fingertips feeling cold and empty.

You felt your blinking speed up in a dizzying confusion. You didn't know what had come over you, not even sure exactly what you'd said in all of your desperate rambling that had made him decide to leave, but your vision started to blur even more than it already had until you recognized the wetness forming beside your eyes.

Nothing made sense. Not then, and not in the last twenty-four hours. You moved until you were sitting down on the couch in front of you, feeling lightheaded as the fireplace crackled a few feet away. The light from outside had left with the sun and the room had a comforting kind of warm lighting, though even that did little to soothe you as you sat there with all the unresolved feelings within you.

You were confused and lost and wanted nothing more than to just fix things, but you were even more at a loss for words when you heard quick footsteps coming from the staircase James had left from, and then saw his returning form making its way down the steps.

You turned your head to him swiftly in confusion, following him and his soft but energetic steps as he came to sit next to you, and that was when you noticed he was holding something—a box. One that was tattered on the corners, its black fabric aged and dusting over.

You wiped at your eyes quickly, brows tugging in all your bewilderment as you waited for James to explain.

"I-" he began, and stopped as soon as his eyes focused more on your face. You must've looked as broken as you felt, and at seeing the look on your face, he held one of your hands in his before swiping across your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb.

You felt like wilting under his soft touch that you'd missed more than anything in the confusing weeks, mentally and physically exhausted from everything but still wanting more than anything to understand.

When you looked perhaps more stable, he looked back at the box that he'd set down beside him and placed it on his lap delicately as he spoke, his words echoing out slowly.

"I know you think I've just realized my feelings for you a week ago, and that they came from some kiss at a party. But, you have to believe me when I say that they're so much more than that." He placed the box in your hands, and you took it from him with a note of fragility, resting it atop your legs. His eyes bore into yours, like it would break him if you couldn't understand the words leaving his lips. He took a shaky breath in. "I need you to know, more than anything, that you're everything to me. You always have been."

Your lips began to shake at the earth-shattering words coming from your best friend's lips. "James, what-"

He stopped you with a gesture of his head that told you to look inside the box, and you did. Carefully, you lifted the flimsy cardboard top and placed it to the side, brows pulling together tight and something loud and hearty threatening to pull from your chest. You shook your head as tears began to well over your eyes again as you recognized what James had given you.

The box, the measly and old mess of cardboard and paper, was full of all the letters you'd written to him over the years—all the thank you notes, the letters you'd sent him from that summer and all the past ones—every single one of them. Your eyes raked over each of them when you felt too stunned to use your hands, but your heart still felt touched by the memories of each one all the same. It took everything in you not to release the sob you felt rising in your lungs.

"It's you. It's always been you."

James's eyes never left your face as you took everything in, the look behind them never having seemed so determined, so desperate. But there was something behind the way he looked at you, something so warm and honest, so familiar that you felt ridiculous for never noticing it before. And when your gaze flickered downward for a second in contemplation he tipped his head to follow it endearingly.

"Always," he promised. "Not Evans, not anyone else. I know I'm a bloody idiot, and I know I haven't been great at showing my emotions when it comes to you, but that's because it's you, and you mean everything to me and have since we were kids, and if this can't make you see that then I promise I'll spend every day trying to make up for it, and-"

"James." You stopped him, not knowing how much longer you could take sitting next to him and not getting rid of the frustrated crease between his brows, or how much longer you could ignore the thrum of your heart that called out to him so clearly now.

"Yeah?" he asked, and his eyes were like a deer in headlights. The warmth in their color reflected the simmering warmth from the fireplace, but that didn't compare to the fire that lay behind his gaze.

You placed the box, his box of the last six years of your friendship and then some, atop the couch next to you, and didn't wait another second before engulfing him in a hug. Your body crashed into his as he leaned back against the couch, his hands coming up to embrace you right away, and you heard him breathe a smile by your ear before he laughed, a perfect noise.

You felt like laughing then too, and crying, and everything else, because you couldn't remember the last time you'd gotten to hold him like this without the fear of revealing too much to him nagging at you. Your cheek pressed against his neck, his curls fanned against the top of your head, his hands held you tight, and you never wanted to leave the safety of his arms. Except to do one thing.

You pulled away from the hug and so did James after a second, his eyes wide and glistening but truly happy. He was smiling widely, his lopsided grin appearing after days like the sun after a storm, and you loved the sight more than anything, locking it away in the back of your mind as a memory you'd keep forever, like the box that sat next to you.

You laid a hand on his chest, another on his cheek, and James grasped the one that was flattened on his chest in his own, quickly glancing down at your hand in his like he couldn't believe he was holding it. He pulled you into him with it and leaned his head on yours.

"It's always been you, too," you whispered, and his eyes glanced down at your lips as you said the quiet words that'd been lingering on your lips for much too long. You had to push away your smile because you were aching to just kiss him like you'd wanted to for years. With a courage that could've only come from Godric himself, you finally did.

You leaned in until your lips met, a flutter of skin dancing shyly together until you leaned into him even further, and suddenly it felt like the crash of a wave, and sounded like the earth was moving beneath your feet, the sound of something right—and this time, you knew it felt the same for him too, because you could feel his boyish grin that you'd spent years admiring tugging against your lips.

You were kissing your best friend. For real this time. It felt so impossible for your mind to imagine such a thing, but luckily it didn't have to.

James moved his hands but they never left you, one sliding through your hair smoothly and one delicately holding your waist like you were something fragile. Butterflies fluttered through you at his touch, something familiar but foreign, wrong but also right, and somessilyperfect. You couldn't believe you'd spent all those years just a few words away from getting to feel it, getting to be surrounded by it.

You pulled away after a moment, your lips feeling puffy and burning with the heat of his kiss, but all you could think about was how free you felt, how happy you were that he was finally yours.

James looked down at you, his eyes dancing all across your face and stopping on your lips, and then somehow growing even warmer when they met yours again.

"I can't-" he began with a slight disbelieving shake of his head, voice coming out breathless and dazed as heat flushed into your own cheeks at the sight. "I can't believe..."

You laughed, feeling out of breath too, and adjusted the glasses that now perched crookedly on James's nose in an agonizingly cute way.

"Me neither," you finished for him, because you knew just how he felt, a secret the both of you shared; it was the only secret you still wanted to keep.

And it was a feeling you never wanted to have to live without again. Though now, with him in your arms and his familiar chocolate curls still brushing against your forehead, you knew you would never have to.

taglist!!

@hisparentsgallerryy @msmk11 @garfieldsladybird @empath-bunny @urmykindofwoman @bambi-jp @babyclea @kenjikishimotoswifey @cloudroomblog @the-marauders-mapp @mooonyxoxo @imgondeletedis @moon-flowerrs @fruticake @arey0usirius @marauroon @swiftsgirlfriend @jamieolivia27 @magicwithaknife

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matchadobo · 1 year ago

Text

KIDD; overheard

wc: 2768

summary: kidd overhead virgin!freader moaning out his name

warning/s: nsfw🔞, fem reader, v1brators, first-time-s3x, cooming inside, cunnilingus, thr0at fucking, fluff in the end

you never had sex. you're a virgin. and kidd respects that. kidd had been courting you because you insist on doing it the traditional way. he just likes you so much he does sacrifices for you. he's not the type of guy who'd go through such lengths for a girl, but with you, man he'd do anything to let him love you.

you wouldn't expect that a man of his stature wouldn't talk you into having sex when you two started getting romantically involved. kidd was, of course, not a virgin. a man like him, who's built like a fucking fridge, who's tongue brings him so many places, who's charisma is unparalleled, and his overflowing sex appeal. you admit that your boyfriend is hot, and you want to know what i feels to bed him someday. he's perfectly aware of your situation and he gaves you free reign of your sexual status, he never forces you to go all the way. it's just all about touching between the both of you.

it's mostly on kidd's end when we talk about containing it. especially when you don't fix up yourself around him on domestic days. or when you don a pretty little dress.

you'd be fooling yourself if you don't wanna do more than touching and kissing with him. each time he takes his shirt off and his happy trail shows. how his muscles flex when he's reaching over something high or hugging you. you can't help but be curious of how it'd feel if he have his way with you.

so that one night where curiosity won over you, you decided to buy a vibrator since you can't find it in you to ask the guy that's been courting you and you who has been constantly insisting on taking things slow. once you're all alone, you discarded your clothes and lied on his bed. you were staying with him for the night. you could've done it in your place but, the scent of his cologne on his sheets and the sight of his things made you more aroused.

as you spread yourself on the bed, you don't know the first thing about vibrators. all you knew was how badly you wanted him, how you imagine him doing the stimulation and not this expensive fucking vibrating rod. as you felt the splurge of pleasure, you were out of this world. your eyes rolled at the back of your head and your mouth muttered his name with the filthiest intent.

little did you know, kidd was on his way back to his place. he just got off the elevator and is walking toward his unit with a handful of takeout for your date night. he was exhausted from work today and all he wanted to do was come home to you and feel you. not fully aware of your act.

"y'all fuck yet?" heat asked over the phone. kidd tsked through the call.

"if that's what the hell you're gonna talk about i'll block you." he almost hit the end call if it weren't for killer taking over.

"listen, we're just iffy about this courting thing. you always start your relationships with fucking or something." killer calmly retorted. "plus, it's been three months and you two are kind of a blur, aye? don't you think it's time to take a step much higher?"

"let me tell you freaks somethin': name is the most precious angel that ever crossed this earth, ya hear me? she ain't some whore i chase to keep my cock warm. i want to have somethin' special with her, cuz hey, she's one special lady herself." he took a deep breath before continuing, fishing out his keycard from his wallet. "ain't it enough reason to wait it out? i imagine sex with her like a good ol' scotch, aye? longer you wait, tastier it gets. i know she couldn't resist me either, the way those eyes linger ain't a wholesome thing. all the more reason the sex'll be so fuckin' sweet once she's ready." he emphasized on the last three words.

you were too lost in the glee of the stimulation, you didn't even hear the beep of his door as he got inside. as kidd settled his stuff down and calmed down by his couch, he started to wonder where you are. he roamed around his unit to find you, only to hear faint noises of your voices. they sounded like whimpers so he started getting worried and hurried to find where the sound was coming from.

he felt his dick tighten in his pants when he heard you moaning out his name loud and clear. his grasp on the plastic bag carrying your food tightened, he swallowed a hard lump down his throat. he couldn't resist barging in on you.

he would nut right then and there. when he saw you wide open right before him, you reached your climax just as he went in. your scream resounding in the room. so you sat frozen with your legs spread, one hand on the vibrator while the other played with your tits. you stopped immediately and hid yourself under his sheets, your face flushed red in sheer embarrassment. "w-what the hell?! i-i- what the fuck are you doing here, kidd?!"

he sighed before saying, "in case you didn't know; this is my room," he pulled his shirt over his head, walking a step closer to you. "and you're naked," he unbuckled his belt, getting even closer to you. "wide open." he kicked his pants away the floor, crawling by the bed. "moaning my name unbefitting of a cute little thing such as yourself." he pulled the sheets you were covering yourself with. "this much is fuckin' rich coming from someone who insists on taking it slow. your words bit you back in the ass, aye?"

you were flushed red at his proximity, your eyes shakily alternating between his. "i-i wasn't..."

"wasn't what? fucking yourself with that thing and imagining i was ramming into you?" he cocked a brow, canines tugging by his lower lip. "baby, hadn't i told you that you can just tell me if you wanna give it a go? i'm more than happy to teach ya," he gave your cheeks a soft caress.

his big hands trailed down your jaw, fingers tracing the edge of your face, down to the column of your neck until he wrapped his hands around your it and pulled you closer. eliciting a moan out of you, his grin widening. "aren't you a filthy, little slut too?"

he kissed you on your open mouth, the grip on your neck tightening. "what were you thinking about, hm?" he pressed the vibrator closer to your clit after flicking the button on. "was i too hot for you? you want me to fuck you up so bad, huh? stretch this tight, little thing wide, fucking, open." he pressed foreheads with you after licking your lips.

all you could do was pout and curl up your brows, your eyes rolling at the back of your head as you didn't even know what kind of high you're in right now. "nghh- kidd- please...!" you bit your lip, clawing at his arms.

"please what? i can stop." he gently whispered against your ear. "i can take care of mine just fine you know." he gestured to his bulging length underneath his brief. you felt yourself choke at the act, imagining how he'd be like.

"n-no!" you responded, squirming under him. he hasn't discarded the vibrator but only made it even more extreme. "k-keep going... i-i want to go all the way, okay?"

"aye." he nodded, giving you a long, wet kiss before turning the vibrator off. he ducked his head down and placed soft, gentle kisses on your inner thighs, teasing your sopping cunt by his stippled pecks. "ready?" he stared at you, his hot breath tickling your folds. you nodded with pressed lips, bracing yourself with his tongue.

he languidly dragged his tongue down the line of your folds, not breaking eye contact as he watch you squirm with only just his tongue. how you sound so much like a slut just for him. he pulled your hips closer, drowning his face within your opening and the flesh of your thighs. he hummed through you as a response to your moans, vibrations pumping through your veins. he took it a notch higher and slid a finger in. you were becoming limp at this point.

but you wanted to please him too, you want to help him with that tent in his pants. so once you pushed his head deeper and you pulled on his hair, you came in his mouth. he sipped in your juices, slurping in your cum.

"c-can i please you too?" you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"i was just about to say that." he stood up on the bed, holding your jaw by his hands. "go ahead, love."

you hesitantly raise your hands, still looking at him. your fingers crept on his waistbands, sliding them off. his pulsating length sprung out, dripping with precum. you couldn't help but act surprise at the size of him even though you already know that he's phenomenally huge. he would already cum right then and there when he saw the enormous difference between the size of him to your face, how your eyes try to fathom how you'd fit that in your mouth and in your cunt.

you start to wrap your cold fingers around him, a gasp escaping him at your contact. you pumped unsurely, from his flushed head down to his veiny shaft. you opened your mouth and gave a kitten lick by his head, keeping an eye on him before swallowing him whole. he was so huge you gagged when you were just by the half of him.

his hands found its way to the sides of your head as he pushed his length further in your throat, relishing on the warmth of your mouth. you dug your nails by the skin of his hips, eyes watering at the impact of the head of his length touching the back of your throat. he grunted as he tried to restrain himself to let you adjust.

once you let go with a pop, strings of saliva trailed from his head to your lips. there were scattered drools on your lips, you wiped it with the back of your palm. "w-wait, i- you're too big." you giggled shyly, tucking your hair by your ear.

"yeah? sure you can handle it?" he rubbed your chin between his thumb and index, studying your expressions. "i assure you, it will be a lot fucking bigger inside you."

you gulped deeply, face heating up. so you cleared your throat, and prepped yourself to do it once more. you slowly got used to bobbing your head back and forth, the friction of your lips gliding across the surface of his veiny length. as your saliva coated his shaft, it became more slippery and easier to slide in your mouth.

kidd was cursing out words each time his cock slipped in and out of your mouth. he pushed himself further, despite your protests of drumming his hips. he pulled on your hair tightly, fucking your mouth in an unforgiving pace. once he came in your mouth, he left it there for a while, his cum dripping down your throat. you had to catch your breath as residue of cum and drool littered your chin.

he sat down before you,"for a beginner, you're goddamn amazing." he placed a kiss on your forehead then to you lips. as he kissed you fervently; his hands went from choking your neck, squeezing your tits with his palms, and rubbing on your clit as he spread your wetness from your cunt to your inner thighs. "let me spread you up for the finale." he mumbled against your open mouth which elicited breathy moans. his thigh and shoulder provided support for your frame as he fingered you open.

your hand reached over his cheek, looking at him with the most vulnerable gaze. he memorized how sinful you looked for him, how your eyes begged for more and how your mouth uttered the neediest response from his stimulation.

you pressed your forehead by his cheek as you approached your climax, clawing at his arms. he watched how your cunt clenched around his fingers at each curl and spread. you ended up breathless after you came.

but he didn't give you any chance to pause and compose yourself, he lied you down the mattress and knelt before your body. he gave his length a few pumps after spitting on it, he teased his meat on your soaking cunt; savoring how you furrow your brows and gawk at him. he spread your legs by your inner thighs, pushing your hips toward his so you two could be very close. kidd leaned down and pressed foreheads with you, "i'm putting it in, aye?" he asked for permission and you hummed. he gave your nose a little kiss before sliding himself in slowly.

"f-fuck...!" he stuttered, breathless at the tightness of your innocent cunt. he could slide in without any pain from his or your end, your walls just clench around him a lot. you too were drooling and too lost at the fullness of his cock, he's way too huge for you to fathom. "if you keep clenching like that i'm not gonna last, love. i haven't even been fully in." he panted, smiling against your cheek.

once he fully got settled, the head of his cock reached your cervix; that's how big he is. after adjusting, he began moving back and forth. it took everything in him to do it slowly, he wanted to fuck you stupid in a harsh pace. you reached for his neck, slowly lling him down to kiss him. "i-it hurts, b-baby. i-i it feels sore." you said in between kisses. "b-but don't stop, i-it feels amazing too." you smiled meekly, a single tear falling at the corner of your eye.

kidd felt motivated to refine his performance, your words were like a brush on his shoulder. he kissed your tears away before saying, "i know, bunny. i promise to only let you feel the good part, hm?"

as you fist the sheets and his grip on your waist tightened, you two slowly found rhythm. kidd adored how pleasured you look right now, to the point that you don't know what to do with yourself. you played with your tits, sucked on his fingers, clawed on his arms, covered your face with the pillows, and clutched your tummy as you grew near. he was doing all of that to you and it was the biggest turn on for him. he reached over to hold your face in his hand, then he rubbed on your lips, and finally wrapped his hands around your neck. you swallowed at the constriction on your throat, his firm hand holding you in place. his other hand was holding your leg that was swung on top of his shoulder. "you close?" he asked, hips unceasing.

you nodded, your eyes becoming swollen at the amount of tears you let out. "me too, baby. i-i'm- ngh fuck!" he too was lost for words, he felt you clench again around him, you felt him throb inside you; the vibration coursing through your veins. "do you want me to p-pull out?"

you didn't know either. it was your first time and you know the risks. but it was kidd. you want him to release inside, to keep you warm, to let his cum drip down your cunt. so you shook your head and pulled him by the neck. "cum inside, release all of it."

from your words, he came right then and there, shooting up ropes of cum inside your womb. "if we're gonna have brats, i'm done for." he panted with his forehead resting on your shoulder.

"me too, mini versions of you are a headache." you giggled a bit, kissing his ear.

"can i just stay inside?" he lied gently beside you, "you just feel so good and i want to sleep like this."

another tear streamed down your cheeks, what a goddamn softie. you nodded turning your back on him and placing your hand above his which was resting atop your stomach. "i'm glad you're my first." you blurted out, blushing afterward.

"i'm glad you're my last, shortcake."

you gave him a glare but he just giggled.

one last hc before i wage war with my exams 🥺 this is for tHE FREAKSSS 🤪🫣

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alpaca-clouds · 3 months ago

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Let's Talk About "Marvelfication"

Okay, let me try to get this out of my system, because I do have some thoughts on this one.

See, as you know, I finished Dragon Age: Veilguard last week. And I did enjoy the game. I never was that attached to the franchise. I really enjoyed Inquisition back in the day when it came out, but after doing two runs with it never have really returned to it. I also did play one of the older games, though I am not fully sure which one, because it was a long while ago. But I just never got that attached to the franchise. (Which mostly has to do with my own personal issues with High Fantasy.)

But that is not what I wanted to talk about. What I wanted to talk about is more the thing I have seen now multiple people call out: "The Marvelfication" as some have called it. And mind you, I absolutely do agree with this: There were several scenes in this game where I thought to myself: "This feels kinda MCU."

However, what I kinda want to talk about is the specific wording here: "Marvelfication." Because it is super understandable that the first thing that comes to mind (for me as well) is the MCU. But I think the issue is way deeper than "MCU is popular, so let's do something like the MCU".

A lot of folks on Youtube and other platforms have talked about how a lot of "tropes" that people blame on the MCU are actually older than the MCU. The reason people associate it with the MCU is moreso that the MCU is just fucking everywhere since it became this big thing. It is what defines the media landscape.

The big issue actually is another one, though: Those tropes are everywhere because in a more and more conservative media landscape they are considered safe. These types of jokes are not risky in any way. These types of characters are not risky. These types of stories are not risky.

It is stories that are set in societies that are messed up, and then there is a big conflict that only tangentally relates to the ways the societies are messed up in, and then that conflict is resolved but the status quo does not change.

And that more than anything is what I would criticize about the game. Outside of very prominently centering some trans issues, the game has taken very little risks.

I wrote about that a bit last week in comparison to BG3, how safe the companions in Veilguard feel. This shows so harshly in direct comparison to BG3, because really, Larian sat down with player and told you: "Those assholes are your companions. Take it or leave it." Those people I know who never finished BG3 mostly never did because they could not stand the companions. Meanwhile those who, like me, got obsessed with the game, mostly did it because it feels so fucking satisfying when you start to get through to the companions after they started out as those assholes. This satisfaction is something Veilguard never really offers you - because... Well, I can assume that some of these characters had some edges at some point. But whatever edges there had been, those have gotten smoothed down, so now everyone is perfectly sweet. Sure, they might argue a bit here or there, and if you make decisions they do not agree with, they are gonna be pissy with Rook for a bit, but that's the most of it.

Same with a lot of other stuff. There is basically no sexual content in this game. You get one sex scene that is super tame and you see nothing - and one to two kisses per romance. No risk.

Any no matter what kinda choice the characters make, they are all gonna be nice, you know?

There is one thing in the finale of the game that is kinda risky, I will admit. But I will not talk about that yet, because I knwo a lot of people have not finished the game.

But for the most part the game does not risk anything.

And really, that is the core of what folks call "Marvelfication". Because pretty much this is also the issue with Marvel and Star Wars and pretty much all American made media: Outside of some smaller productions, some of which do well with the tumblr crowd but barely get any attention from mainstream audience (*coughs* Interview with the Vampire *coughs*) there is little risk taken. The humor is the same everywhere because this humor is considered safe. The characters feel kinda samey everywhere, because those characters are safe.

It is why I have stopped going to the cinema, because these days there are barely any movies I consider worth watching. It is ironically also why I have recently watched a whole lot more Japanese stuff, because it is easier to find stuff there that does not play it that safe.

It is also why I do these days mostly consume western stuff that has a 18+ rating on it - because at least with that stuff I know that it probably is not gonna play it "safe".

I just wish some media took more risks. I want those medium budget projects back, that cost like 30-50 million, so can make a profit with 100 million at the box office, without doing billions. I want some stuff in there that is not a big IP. I just want... stuff.

Right now I am looking at the soon end of What We Do In The Shadows, mostly because it is one of the few things on right now that does some risky stuff. And I miss those SyFy low budget originals, because some of it was kinda risky. Ugh.

The issue is not Marvel. It is not even Disney. It is that the creative industries in the US right now mainly put out big budget stuff that because of that big budget needs to be loved by everyone.

And look, I am trans. Hence I absolutely do see some value in the fact that Bioware clearly took position and said: "Okay, we get to do one risky thing, so that thing is gonna be to incluse a variety of trans characters." Which I love and respect. But I kinda wish the game had not been quite that pretty and instead also included a bit more edges on the characters.

... But I guess in the end there is still fanfiction, where I can still make the characters messy. lol

#dragon age #dragon age the veilguard #dragon age veilguard #marvelfication #mcu #marvel #disney #bioware #anti capitalism #baldur's gate 3

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thequietkid-moonie · 1 year ago

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Secretly dating

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Tarzan, Flynn, Nier ]

[ Tarzan ] [ Tangled ] [ NieR Replicant ]

Wuuuuu I like your idea, I start to think that this is one of your favorites prompts since I had saw you write it often

Anyways, thanks a lot for requesting it!! I had a lot of fun while writing, since I saw the request I been quite excited to write it!

Besides, i love Nier!!!

Tarzan

For Tarzan everything he does with you is a new and learning experience, he is a quick learner so it won't take him much time before learning about the whole thing that is dating (if you guide him he mostly just follow what you tell him, besides with the gorilas he learned about mating so even if it isn't the same he isn't completely cluelest)

Tarzan doesn't feel shy nor ashame of his feeling for you, it would take him a while to fully understand his feeling (or express them to you, he does tries to be sweet while doing it, he does know a little about courting), however, as much as he doesn't have any problem with being open with his love he understand that it may not be the best idea to tell his friends and family about it

Kerchak doesn't trust the other humans, and he barely accept him in the herd, Tarzan fears a little how he would react knowing that he not just went against his orders by approaching them but also start dating one, so he chose not to say anything for now

Tarzan finds himself stuck between wanting to be with you, wanting to learn more from you and even show you his own world, and wanting to be with his family and protect both sides, it could be a little difficult for him to find an balance between the two parts but at the end of the day he manage to make it work

If you are interested on him and his family he will be hesitant to even talk about the topic, for his wish to protect you he just keep the problem to himself until he manage to order his thoughts and explain the situation to you (he needs some time to talk to you about it because he wants to be able to make you smile, and bringing this troubles to you will probably upset you, or even worst, make you feel guilt)

This situation probably won't last much time, or at least he won't hide it for a long time, the first days he can easily come up with an excuse but soon he will have to explain it at least to his friend, Terk and Tantor, and his mother, they know him too well to don't know that he has something in his hands, it can be a difficult for them to understand and accept it (specially for his mother) but at the end they will be really supportive over it (as long as you don't wish harm to him or anyone else from the pack or try to take him away from them), Terk and Tantor will even try to help him cover up and come up with excuses to all the time he's away from the herd or inform him if anything happens in home

He doesn't talk about it much but Tarzan is well aware that he can't keep it as a secret forever and has to think a plan quick, there is the risk of you having to return home, his family finding out or even his family having to go further in the jungle, searching for a safer place to be in. He tries to came out with a plan himself, not wanting to bother you with it

Flynn Rider

Flyn has a lot of reasons to why he should keep your relationship as a secret, he is a thief, he is searched by the authorities and has to constantly sneak, hide and run away, and not just that be he has some enemies, criminals too, since he had betrayed some people a few times, and last but most important reason he cares about you and a lot, he can't help but want to keep you away from his criminal life, even if you were a thief or something of those lines he still want to protect you

Flyn will not admit it out loud but he is scare of the posibility of something bad happening to you, you are too important for him, it upsets him and makes him anxious when you are in distress or even hurt (if something happens to you because of what he does he won't be able to live with himself)

If you two are in a serious relasionship is because he trust you a lot, he will only allow himself to be in a relationship when he is sure that he loves you, that he can trust you and that he actually want to spent his life with you, it took a long time but he let himself be more open and sincere in the relationship (soon or later he will even tell you his real name), his relationship with you is almost the only thing sincere and genuine in his life and that is why he wants to keep it safe

Besides, not all is bad, he does want to keep hidden from the world his love out of security but it actually doesn't take long before he start to like this kind of dinamic, the idea of having to be hidden, giving you quick kisses and hugs to show you that he love you but having to be quick so no one see you two, having to be sneaky but flirty (he just can't stop being teasingly and flirty whenever he has the opportunity, specially if you are more shy or easy to flustered), or even just having to make plans for dates in places that are far from the crowds, somewhere is just the two of you, he end up loving all of that and even have a lot of fun while doing it

But just as he start enjoying being sneaky he start to crave more and more your company, as time pass the desire to have a more open relationship with you grows more and more, at some point he start thinking on having a change, thinking that having a peaceful life without all this problems, having a life where he can be with you without having to worry about you getting hurt or having to run away in any moment will be actually good (but he doesn't really say it out loud), he wonder if he will enjoy having that kind of life too, but is more likely that he already knows the answer (although, he is an ambitious man, he also wants to have quite a lot of things because he doesn't want to have to worry or limit non of you in what he can offer)

Nier

First of all, it wasn't even Nier's intention to keep your relationship as a secret, is just that he was soo busy and anxious that he forgot to tell others. Also, at first it took a while for him to accept and get used to be in a relationship, losing Yonah and Kaine was too much for him and he was just scare to drag you into the danger, but at the end he couldn't deny how happy you make him so at the end you start dating (is also to Weiss' insistance, saying that he shouldn't punish himself, that everything in his life doesn't have to be lost and sadness)

Nier isn't the most affectionate in public just because he is more focused on his work, on searching the Shadowlord and fighting the shades, he keeps the display of affection when is just you two (normally Weiss leave you alone to give you space, but is always with the excuse of not wanting to see you two all lovey dovey), where he can relax and feel like everything will be alright because is just the two of you

As well, if you two travel together that lead you two to have more time together and Nier has no problem with giving you little kisses or holding your hand, although he does it when he knows there is no threating around (he is too scare of losing you too)

Despite not being so affectionate in public is kinda obvious that there is something between you two, whenever you two are together you are always really close, sometimes even Nier has his hand on you (back, shoulder, arm, depending in how he feels), and even if you were affectionate it won't be so strange because even before dating Nier used to accept the affection without much troubles, but what make it even more obvious is the look of pure adoration and love he has whenever you are having time for yourselfs. But at the end, if non of you say something about it, it will stay still in doubt if you two are already together or not

Besides, traveling with you two it feels like a big family, even before you two were dating, so that fact make it even more unsure but at the same time obvious

Since it is still unsure if you two are together or not is more probably that Devola and Popola will try to set the two of you together, they love both of you and despite everything they cherish for your happiness, they try to don't be so direct while helping you two get together or while giving Nier some advice to what to do (for what he probably won't think much of it or take it as just a little advice about dating, in any case he just thank them)

Nier just asumes that the others (or at least the people he cares about) knows about your relationship if they don't ask, so is just up to you to clarify it or until they end up finding out (although, if they ask Nier, he won't even hesitant in confirming your relationship)

Requested by @frickingnerd

#disney x reader #tarzan x reader #tangled x reader #flynn rider #flynn rider x reader #flynn x reader #nier replicant #nier replicant x reader #nier x reader #nier #x reader #x gn reader #video games x reader #cartoons x reader

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beansandsprouts · 8 months ago

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Sunshine (Part 3)

Summary: You and Bucky find yourselves growing closer, spending more and more time together.

I will fully admit this is mostly Bucky simping but something tells me you guys really won't mind too much ;] Also sorry this took so long....college man

Warnings: just fluff. Lots of fluff and pining.

His eyes were wide, lips parted, heart racing. He found himself unable to breathe. All because you were laughing. It was a real laugh, hearty, and full of joy. And it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

He decided right then that his favorite sight to see was you laughing, to watch your lips stretch into a smile as you cackled at a downright horribly cheesy joke he'd made. The way your eyes scrunched a bit while you laughed, the way you seemingly tried to hide behind your hands. Even the way you giggled breathlessly as you started to calm down a bit. It had him feeling starstruck.

It really hadn't taken long for Bucky to realize he was falling for you hard and fast, he'd tried to suppress it at first. It felt silly to be absolutely smitten with you when he didn't even know for certain if you were his soulmate. But he really couldn't help it, part of him knew full well if anyone was to be his soulmate, it was you. After two weeks he decided to just let himself be swept off his feet by you. And you weren't even trying.

Outright, it didn't seem like you treated him any differently than the others in the tower, but he would swear that you smiled just a little wider for him. That you giggled a little more at his jokes. That you seemed happier in his company than anyone else's. He knew it was probably wishful thinking, but he desperately wanted you to feel for him what he was feeling for you.

He loved getting up early in the mornings to go and train with you. He loved watching you challenge Thor to arm wrestling contests. He loved watching you fight with Steve over who gets the last cookie. And he definitely loved watching you sass Tony every chance you got.

Your attitude was like kindling to the flame he had burning for you. You were always so sweet to him, occasionally teasing. But when it came to the others, especially Tony, you didn't seem to hesitate to smart off. You were constantly getting into arguments with Tony, and it brought him immense satisfaction to watch you make the other man angry while you seemed completely unbothered. He didn't want to admit it, but that rebellious streak you had did things for him.

And even if he loved that you seemed to be sweeter to him than everyone else, he did love the way you teased and taunted him. Those moments when you two were sparring or training and you were egging him on always made him feel things he hadn't felt in a long time. The heat of desire was building just as much as the warmth of adoration.

It was a wonder you hadn't seemed to notice. Everyone else could see how enamored he was with you. And they never let him forget it either. In the few short months you'd been in the tower, Bucky had gone from the intimidating Winter Soldier to your little lap dog. Though guard dog would really be more fitting. Even though the team could see how smitten he was, anyone else didn't. The employees in the tower always seemed hesitant to talk to you when he was around. And he was around often. He trailed after you anytime you went anywhere, and he always gave that look to any guy who even breathed in your direction.

Right now, though, right now, all he was focused on was the way your thigh was pressed against his while you sat on the couch watching a movie. It was movie night, and you had sat right between him and Steve. Which meant it was very squished. You didn't seem bothered, though. Instead, you seemed pleased to be sitting between the two super soldiers. Bucky couldn't blame you, he knew that he and Steve were like heaters, and you typically seemed to run cold.

You laughed again at the movie, and Bucky felt his heart flutter again. God, that sound was beautiful. He couldn't help but sneak a glance at you, and his heartbeat quickened. You were so beautiful without even trying.

You leaned over to whisper something to him about a plot hole in the movie, and he felt a smile tug at his lips. Every little thing you did was adorable.

He glanced down at your hands in your lap, it wouldn't be hard to reach over and tug your sleeve up to finally get a look at your soulmate mark. To finally know if his name was the one written on your skin.

He forced himself to look back at the screen, he managed to focus on the movie. That was until he felt your head hit his shoulder, when he looked back down at you, you were clearly fighting off sleep.

In a surge of confidence, he lifted his arm to put it around your shoulders and pull you close. Immediately, you were snuggling into him, head resting on his chest. And his breath hitched. He could smell your shampoo, and it made his heart pound.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could Steve grin at him, but he really didn't care. He looked down at you, nuzzled into his chest. You seemed content, not a care in the world.

Oh how it made his heart race. The idea that you felt so comfortable snuggled into him like this. That you were happy being so close to him.

He looked down at you, sleeping so peacefully. It felt like he hadn't even been watching you for very long, and suddenly, the movie was over. The others gave him smug looks, and he just glared, waiting for them all to leave. Part of him wanted to stay with you there forever, but he knew he should probably wake you so you could go to bed. He didn't want to take advantage.

"Hey."

When you didn't respond he tried to gently shake you awake. You whined in response and snuggled in closer to him. He couldn't help but chuckle at that.

Instead of trying to wake you, he opted instead to carry you off to bed. He adjusted you, which you groaned your displeasure to, and lifted you up in a princess carry and made his way to your room.

He eased you into your bed and you settled in immediately as he tucked your covers over you. He turned to leave, but your hand caught his wrist.

"Buck." Your voice was quiet and a little rough with your sleepiness, but it made his heart skip a beat all the same.

"What is it?"

You tugged at his wrist, so he stepped closer to you. He watched your face contort into a pout and you tugged on him again. He looked at you in confusion until you spoke again.

"Stay." It wasn't really a request, more a command. One that he was happy to obey. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently removed your hand from his wrist.

"Just gonna take my boots off." He reassured you, seeing your displeased expression.

You huffed in response and watched as he pulled his boots off before turning to lay next to you, slipping under the covers and laying on his back. You scooted over, and he immediately lifted his arm to allow you to move in closer. You settled in on his chest, and he let out a shaky breath.

He lay there as you fell asleep on him, his heart eventually starting to slow from its racing. It didn't take long until he fell asleep as well, arm wrapped tightly around you, your head on his chest and arm slung across his stomach.

-----

Guys I'm gonna be so real, this chapter has legitimately been ready for months but I've been dragging in posting it due to the tag list. It got big....fast. I just wanted to get this out ASAP. I will be adding people to tag soon but at this point the requests for tagging is well over 100 and that's just too much. I still have to decide but I may wind up only tagging the first chunk of people who filled out the form. In the meantime the best thing to do is turn on post notifs. Thank you all foe your patience and for reading!! Means lots <33

#bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky x you #bucky x reader #fluff

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telomeke · 5 months ago

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4 MINUTES EPISODE 5 – FLASHBACKS, WATCHALONGS AND AN OMINOUS CULTURAL TOUCHPOINT

They're doing a great job with this show and I'm now a newly-minted fan of Director Ning Bhanbhassa Dhubthien, whose confident hand has been assuredly steering the proceedings in 4 Minutes. 🤩

Ep.5 has irrefutably confirmed that the 4 Minutes of the title really is a reference to the four-minute limbo after the heart stops beating (4 Minutes Sultrier Version Ep.5 timestamp 42:20).

So the layers are now being slowly peeled back and more was revealed to us, shedding flashes of light on the convoluted storyline. All is still not clear yet, but some ideas are starting to take shape.

OK, this is mostly guesswork but anyway–

It's quite firmly implanted in my mind now that we're seeing a lot of Great's four minutes of brain activity post cardiac arrest. But what's been percolating in my mind since the last episode is that that we might also be seeing Tyme's four-minute post-death flashback, especially since we also saw him getting shot in the opening sequence of Episode 1.

And so those scenes and sequences shown from Tyme's point of view may also be him re-living his own past experiences (concurrently with Great's?) even as his own heart has stopped.

This thought was triggered by Ep.4's revelation that people who find themselves in the Four-Minute Zone get to enter some sort of common waiting room, and they get to meet others in there too:

And the vibes I got watching this scene reminded me so much of Great and Tyme's conversation at their lakeside glamping in the trailer, which we got to see fully in Episode 5:

I don't think this is Great and Tyme on a romantic date in the real world. Serene, other-worldly and seemingly divorced from reality – this locale has them talking about how beautiful it all is, and Great even says "I wanna stay here forever" before admitting "But we probably can't."

It really looks like this is Great and Tyme finding each other in the four-minute post-death netherworld, with the art gallery meeting room switched up for a more romantic getaway instead (that Great got to choose). And with the clock ticking ominously down to 11:04...

There's also this little snippet from the trailer:

Tyme is locked out of a room, and he calls out for Great even as his surroundings are all sepia-toned and soft-focused.

I think this is 4 Minutes showing us that Tyme's four minutes will be up before Great's are, and Tyme will swept back to the real world – or away to another world – while Great is left behind. (Or maybe it's the other way around?)

Ominously, we are not shown Great's rapture and release from four-minute limbo – as much as I want a Happily Ever After for the two newest pretty boys who have won my heart, 4 Minutes is making no such promises. So I suppose we should prepare ourselves for the possibility that while Great (or Tyme) may well be waking up from a four-minute hiatus and returning to the world of the living at 11:04 – it's not a guarantee that the other will rejoin him there when his own four minutes tick down. 😬💔😭

‌

Anyway, I've refrained from commenting on the numeral 4 as a symbol of death, because this is more a thing in Chinese culture rather than Thai (and up until Ep.5 Thai-Chinese references were at most only faintly present in 4 Minutes).

Well that certainly changed, at 4 Minutes Sultrier Version Ep.5 timestamp 34:50:

The temple where Ep.1 accident victim Khun Manee goes to hire a hitman is unmistakably Chinese. The mafia don she engages with also speaks in Teochew Chinese (I think) at timestamp 36:25.

And so when her siam si/เซียมซี fortune stick shows up with the numeral 4, the link with death is all but confirmed (the word for death in many Chinese dialects like Hokkien, Teochew, Cantonese and Hakka sounds similar to the word for the numeral 4, although there are tonal differences). No surprises then, that the Chinese don tells Manee "Someone's probably going to die."

This had a Thai parallel in Ep.1, when the clock in Khun Manee's hospital room showed us it was thirteen minutes past 1 o'clock in the afternoon:

As portentous as this might appear to occidental minds, it's not just the Western superstition surrounding the number 13 that's threading darker undertones into the fabric of this scene.

In Thai culture (where belief in the supernatural abounds), the numeral 13 is also sometimes considered ill-omened because it looks rather like the Thai word for ghost – ผี – flipped onto its side, adding to the general sense of foreboding in Ep.1.

And for me, this was not meant to foreshadow all the deaths taking place in subsequent scenes and episodes, although it isn't inappropriate as a device.

We have been seeing ghosts in this series – Great, Lukwa, possibly Tyme, and whoever else who found themselves caught in the spectral dimension that exists between life and death in the universe of 4 Minutes.

‌And this may be just my fevered 4 Minutes obsessed brain overthinking things again, but in this light – the paired thirteen (13:13) is likely a reference to the ghostly half-lives of our protagonist couple Great and Tyme, getting to share a precious (final?) four minutes together in that twilight zone between the world of the living and the great beyond.

But it seems more than likely that they will be yanked apart when their four minutes are up. 😧 So will that separation be forever? I wait on tenterhooks to see.

P.S. Links to my own fan theory as to what it all might possibly mean:

And some more supporting information, embedded in the show:

‌

#4 minutes #4 minutes the series #4 minutes fan theory

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elfy-elf-imagines · 2 years ago

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Lost in the Labyrinth of my Mind | Legolas Greenleaf

▹ Pairing: Legolas x Reader

▹ Genre: Fluff and Pining

▹ Words: ~4k

▹ Summary: The two times you realized you loved Legolas, and the one time you acted on it.

▹ Notes: I would like a reward, I've posted two times in a year 🙂🙃 But seriously, thank you for all the support and love in my last oneshot, you all had me giggling and twirling my hair with my feet kicked up.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Little has made sense lately.

Thrust into a world so unlike your own everything was disorienting. Now you were living in the world that closely mimicked the Middle Ages you’d only read about. The first year hidden in Imladris had felt like the morning after a jarringly realistic dream. Spots blurred your vision and you were half convinced nothing was even real. In fact, you still weren’t fully convinced this was anything more than a grand delusion. Your memory was spotty and the days passed in a haze, so maybe that's why you volunteered to join the Fellowship as a healer.

It was dangerous, you knew, but those fears were quelled with the notion that death would mean it all had been real afterall. Either you come home a hero or have a firm grasp on what’s reality, even if that’s in death.

Dawn broke, the sun cresting high in the sky, but it was barely seen over the mountains. They seemed to close in, threatening to crush you and your companions, the falling snow ensuring your bodies would stay on the floor. There was a burn in your legs from the steep incline as the Fellowship hiked up the mountains. Even after a night of restless respite, your body still aches. You wouldn’t falter though, even as the tips of your fingers turned blue and your skin became as cold as ice. As the only woman in the company, you refused to be the one to stop first. Stubborn pride was all that kept you moving forward.

Somewhere in between the hobbits was where you found your spot in the marching order. You were content enough to slide in and out of their conversations, at least, the parts of the conversation that could be heard over the deafening wind. But even their chirper disposition seemed to wilt under the harsh weather that seemed to get worse the higher up the Fellowship got.

Your eyes slid towards Legolas, a shining gold beacon amongst the frost. His hair was like the last rays of sunlight, the smile on his face as warming as a roaring fire. Seamlessly he weaved between the members of the Fellowship, seemingly unbothered by the snow. His footsteps were so light, he didn’t even leave a footprint in his wake. Unlike your travel companions, he seemed mostly unbothered by the pelting snow and frigid air. The cloak he wore, lighter than yours, seemed to be for show rather than practical use.

It was obnoxious how distracting he could be. If you weren’t careful, you would stare at him for hours on end, mouth hung open like an idiot. It was humiliating, the amount of times you’d made a fool of yourself while in his presence. The teasing from Elladan and Elrohir had been endless.

Yet as much as you’d hate to admit it, the flutter of your heart or the giddiness that puts a skip in your step were all sensations you reveled in. Always a hopeless romantic, even as previous partners tarnished your silver-plated optimism, you loved being in love. Except, you weren’t in love, you couldn’t be. And in the depths of night, while the stars hung high and all was quiet you told yourself a million things to convince yourself the crush on Legolas was surface level. You told yourself things like:

“It was his elven heritage; you just weren’t used to seeing elves.”

“The infatuation and curiosity would dim with time.”

“Most of your life elves were fictional, and now there was one, right before you.”

Those were a few of the lines you told yourself to placate yourself when your mind wandered too close to Legolas, though it never felt very convincing.

Legolas turned, his bright blue eyes meeting yours. They were so wide and full of wonder, it was hard to believe he was hundreds - if not a couple thousand - years old. He was so youthful and bright, not weighed down from living a million lifetimes. Nothing like his father nor the whispers that followed the King’s name in the corridors of Imladris. Legolas was soft and gentle, careful and perfectly polite to a fault. His father’s disposition may have been winter but Legolas remained the sun that melted the frigid snow.

A smile blossomed on Legolas’ face, not a single crease appearing on his pale skin. The simple gesture made your heart rate increase to an alarming rate, knots twisting and turning in your stomach. Heat and embarrassment made your cheeks turn flush and you hoped he simply thought it was from the cold.

You returned a smile, overtly aware of your own appearance and insecurities. You wanted him to think you were as pretty as the elves you’d lived among, but beauty was hard while caught in a snowstorm. Your eyes moved from Legolas, opting to stare at the back of Aragorn’s head, at least until the queasy feeling in your stomach went away. He was so beautiful, and kind, and wonderful, and--

‘Stop. Don’t do that.’ you scold yourself. It wasn’t worth the potential heartbreak to even consider Legolas like that. You were mortal and he was very much not, he would more than likely see you as a lost puppy than a romantic prospect. But despite yourself, you snuck one last glance at Legolas, foolishly hopeful his eyes were still locked on you. They weren’t; he was now in the front with Gandalf, idle and unaware of the turmoil a simple smile from him caused.

A particularly strong gust of wind hit you, knocking you straight to the ground. The winds were getting fiercer and the snow heavier, how long would this continue before Galdalf admitted defeat and you turned around?

Wet, cold snow seeped through your clothes. You tried to stand, but found it difficult in the thick layer of snow. Like a clumsy child you kicked and squirmed in an attempt to regain your dignity, but it was all for not. Then a hand appeared in your line of sight, offering your aid. You looked up, Legolas now standing before you with an outstretched hand. Without hesitation you took it, Legolas hauling you back to your feet with little to no effort.

Even as your body was upright and stable, Legolas’ hand didn’t leave yours. His hands were rough from decades of archery training, but they seemed gentle in yours. His thumb lightly traced shapes over your skin. The action seemed subconscious as Legolas continued to look at you with that bright expression he always wore.

“Careful my lady, we wouldn’t want you to blow away.” Despite how quiet they were, his words cut through the wind. There was a teasing glimmer in his eyes that seemed to translate to his words.

You breathed out a laugh, careful to not stare into his eyes too long. Your cheeks became warm again, the red flush of embarrassment making its mark on you. Legolas’ head tilted to the side; concern masked the light mischief lighting up his face.

“My lady, you must be freezing, especially after a fall into the snow. Here--”

He didn’t give you time to respond, not that you even could. You were in a trance, enraptured the smell of cedar and bergamot as well as the heat that radiated from his body that was so close to yours. Legolas reached up to the clasp of his cloak and undid it. In a smooth motion, he took the cloak off and draped it over your body.

“That should help keep you warm in the snow.”

He smiled at you, sweet and gentle. His disposition was addictive, making a small grin curl on your lips. All too soon, he stepped away from you, sparring you one last glance before approaching Aragorn. Your cheeks remained warm and bright red, the rate of your heart not settling anytime soon.

You continued to watch him animatley chat with Aragorn, unbothered by the cold even without a cloak. Subconsciously, you pulled the cloak tighter to your body, deeply inhaling his scent that lingered on the fabric.

Practically floating, you were unaware of the knowing glances the rest of the Fellowship cast your way. All the while, you were lost in thought, trying to intellectualize each butterfly Legolas’ touch created. It was all overwhelming and you almost wanted to throw up. You were shaking and nervous; bright red from head to toe. This felt different than idle crushes and romanticization of complete strangers.

Maybe you were falling in love.

---

The river languidly flowed, beams of soft light reflecting off the water and creating a thousand little rainbows. The river’s stream was gentle and almost lethargic, it seemed even the Earth was affected by the elves' lack of urgency in life. Lady Galadriel’s power had seeped into the very dirt and from it sprout and ethereal visages in the forest. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been this at peace. It must’ve been before your old life had been ripped from you.

You were alone, fingertips digging into the mud as you stared at the stream. Gandalf was dead. It was a strange thing to constantly remember. At times you would forget, searching for him in the Fellowship only to remember he’d fallen in Moria. There was a pit in your stomach you weren’t familiar with. Greif didn’t feel the way you’d thought it would’ve, not at all the way it was often dramatized in the media. Instead of bright and all encompassing, it was a subtle, slow burn that would eventually swallow you whole if left untempered.

But you didn’t know how to temper it.

So it left a dull ache within you, painless enough you’d forget it was there until it suddenly pricked you like a sewing needle.

But at least you could mourn without the threat of orcs looming over your head.

“I had hoped to find you.” His voice was carried by the gentle breeze that suddenly came through the clearing. You turned your head, only slightly, just enough to see Legolas’ lithe form standing a little ways away.

“It’s quiet,” you replied, returning your attention to the water, feeling a need to explain yourself to Legolas, even though his observation wasn’t accusatory. The ground muffled the sound of Legolas’ footsteps, only a soft thump heard with each step. He then took a seat beside you, so quiet it felt like he’d always been there. His eyes were on you, you could feel it, the way his blue eyes bore past your body and into your soul. Elves were far more perceptive than humans, and you could feel the truth to that statement in his gaze.

“I had thought so as well. I came here our first night in Lothlorien. It made me think of you, I am pleased to see I was correct in that.” He spoke the words so effortlessly, as if he hadn’t just admitted to thinking of you. Or perhaps it was nothing to him, a passing thought in his mind of one of his friends. You didn’t want to just be a friend, but perhaps that was the category you’ll remain.

You turn your head, eye to eye with Legolas. A warm flush appeared on your cheeks, something that seemed permanent when he looked at you with those eyes. The type of wonder and softness that almost made you believe he returned your affections. Yet you didn’t linger on those fantasies for too long, not wanting to potentially be let down. You’d never been very strong in your convictions, something born during childhood that you never managed to shake.

Flighty and fearful as long as danger was near and it was always near; haunting the edges of your vision, a jumpscare waiting around every corner. The worst case scenario had always been accepted as the only plausible scenario; fiction became fact and you wouldn’t accept any other truth. Perhaps Legolas was waiting for a cue from you to make a move, but you were too much of a coward to ever do it.

So in limbo you would stay, content enough with your friendship while secretly yearning for more.

“And what about a calm river could make you think of me?”

You were irrational and emotional, quick to anger and hard to forgive. If anything you were a calamitous tsunami; rough and heavy, dragging everyone in its tide. Nothing like the level headed and logical elves you’d lived around.

“You’re both a source of peace and beauty,” he responded, a small child-like grin curling on his lips. Your mouth grew dry, brows furrowed in slight disbelief.

‘He thought I was beautiful?’

The thoughts in your mind flew at a thousand miles per hour. There wasn’t one singular train of thought you could latch onto, the ability to speak taken from you. No witty comment fell from your mouth, only a wide eyed stare that suspiciously resembled a doe.

It seemed to make Legolas falter, a light dusting of pink appearing on his cheeks. He looked away, eyes locked on the river. “I apologize, that came out wrong. I simply meant that while you are attractive, you are also a great friend and I value speaking with you.” He stuttered and stumbled over his words, trailing off at the end. And his voice… it was so prim and proper, it made a few of the butterflies in your stomach turn to dust. “The same way I value the quiet of sitting in this…spot.”

His eyes darted away from your sharpened gaze, scanning the nearby treeline. His nerves seemed suffocating, he’d suddenly become so flighty. Had you made him uncomfortable? Did he see the hearts in your eyes when you looked at him? Had it made him uncomfortable?

The thoughts made you shrink within yourself. The barest hint of hope within you smothered in insecurities and doubt as dark as midnight. Perhaps he hadn’t meant the compliment in the way you wanted. They were only kind words to ease a friend's grief, yet you managed to only hear what you wanted.

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid.’

You fought against the disappointment, not allowing it to carve its place onto your face. The smile on your face was bright, but it didn't quite meet your eyes. “I’m glad we are friends.” You place your hand on his shoulder, your touch so light he nearly didn’t feel it.

You half expected him to jump away from your touch as if it burned, but he didn’t. Instead, he met your gaze once more, and the worry muddying his eyes melted away.He gave a slight nod of the head, yet didn’t speak.

Silence filled the clearing, and you were terrified he might hear your heart pounding against your chest. It became harder to breathe the longer the two of you stayed locked in the impromptu staring contest. The distance between you two was small, and you’d never been so close to him before. Oh god, was he getting closer? Was he leaning towards you?

There was a slight quiver in your lips, heart slowing to a point you were afraid it wasn’t beating anymore. Palms sweaty, they clung to the blades of grass held captive in your hands. Time stopped, nothing else mattered as you prepared for his lips to touch yours.

Except…

They never did. Legolas pulled back, eyes wide in alarm. He stood, nearly stumbling backwards in his desperation to get away from you. He got to his feet and took two steps away. On the ground you remained, ripping out grass to keep from crying as you saw what you swore was regret crossing his face.

“I should return to the Fellowship, Aragorn may require me. Until we meet again.” Legolas did an awkward half bow, scurrying away before you could so much as reply.

Left alone, you let out a heavy breath, that was shuddered with choked sobs. Were you truly that bad he had to flee from you? The wind blew stronger this time, and you rolled your eyes. A few stray tears fell and you let them, there was no one to see you cry like a baby over a man you knew you could never have.

You couldn’t deny it anymore, try as you might.

Oh no, you were falling in love.

---

The panic that tore through Helm’s Deep was contagious.

Ten thousand Uruk-hai would be marching towards you, an army that tripled what little forces the keep could muster. We needed outside help, but there wasn’t time to call for reinforcements. We’d all already be dead by the time they came.

You tried to not let the fear show, desperate to keep your body steady despite the shaking it was plagued with. Deep breaths were forced as you attempted to keep your breath shallow and uneven. But you couldn’t deny it, even as you did anything and everything to keep your mind.

You weren’t ready to die.

Not today, not like this.

It wouldn’t be swift and painless, it would be drawn out and agonizing; orcs weren’t famous for their mercy. Suffocated by a blanket of despair, you briefly considered offing yourself. There were so many twisting tunnels and a million ways for you to do it. But in the end, as you stared into the desolate eyes of the Rohirrim, you decided against it. If they could face impending doom with grace, then so could you. Yet that didn’t keep the terror from threatening to swallow you whole.

You were numb.

Stood outside, elves and men began to line up along the wall. There were screams and shouts all around, but it was nothing but white noise in your ears. Across the crowd, your eyes met Legolas’. His lips were downturned and his eyes were tired; Legolas was just as terrified as you.

You weren’t sure who moved first, but within a blink the two of you began to move towards one another. The crowd was thick but you shoved through them with the strength of someone twice your size. As you escaped the crowd and your hands found Leglolas’, you could finally breathe. It was a breath of fresh air after being forced underwater.

His eyes bore into yours, his grip tight as if to assure himself you wouldn’t leave. Battle was coming, he knew that, you knew that, but the sentiment was nice. It made your heart flutter, the numbness freezing your body lifting the longer you stayed there.

You wanted to speak, to tell him all the love confessions and speeches you’d been mentally writing and rewriting. But the ability to talk had been lost. Your mouth was dry and your throat had closed up. Instead you squeezed his hands tighter, hoping to convey everything your words couldn’t.

His lips, pressed into a thin line, relaxed into a slight frown. His eyes were searching your face, looking for the answers to his never ending questions. You weren’t sure if he found what he was looking for, too afraid to ask in case it soiled the moment.

It was in that moment, with your eyes connected and his hands tangled with yours, everything clicked into place. Every nagging insecurity and silly fear felt so miniscule and pointless. How much time had been wasted living in fear?

Moments before doom and your hit with an epiphany. Your feelings weren’t as unrequited as once believed. Reflected in Legolas' shining eyes you could see the same unsurety that came with loving someone new. The constant doubts that you were wrong, not trusting your own eyes and instincts. It was never one sided, you just wish one of you had the courage to say something before this moment.

A part of you waited for Legolas to speak, to declare everything you’d already figured out, but he never did. Rendered mute just as you were, he was silent in the midst of chaos.

So you opted to not speak either and instead pressed your lips against his. Your lips were dry and cracked, raw from biting on them constantly. Legolas’ were much the same, yet neither of you hardly cared. His grip on you tightened as he pulled your body closer. He never wanted to let you lose and you didn’t want him to.

The kiss was hardly romantic or anything like the sappy romance books that became your bible. His lips were rough and his grip was nearly bruising, but it made your heart burst all the same. There was no time for gentle kisses and longing eye contact under flutter lashes, the world was coming to an end. And you’d be damned if it ended without you telling Legolas you’d loved him.

You pulled back, wide eyes staring into his eyes. A warm rush through your body, heart beat racing against your chest. Faintly, you heard Aragorn calling for the two of you; the current scenario came rushing back as time began to move normally. Majority of the army has lined up, anxiously awaiting the official start of a long dreaded war. You looked at Legolas once more, and his eyes met yours.

“I love you.” The words fell from your lips, jumbled together as you spoke to the tempo of your heartbeat. He understood them all the same, his lips curling into a melancholic sort of grin.

“I love you.”

The moment was over, the bubble previously surrounding just the two of you bursting. The end was near.

Following the crowd, you and Legolas took your places at the wall, watching ten thousand Uruk-Hai march towards you. Yet you weren’t filled with the same icy fear and delolation. You’d been revived; dropped into icy water after a year long drought.

Under the wall and hidden by darkness, your hand found Legolas’. He squeezed it, a reassurance and a promise.

You would both make it out.

And everything would be right.

Deeply, you inhaled slowly exhaling. A single arrow bit through the darkness and landed in the chest of an Uruk-Hai. The enemy army shouted and began to charge. You lifted your blade, untangling your hands from Legolas’ as you knocked his arrow.

The two of you would be fine.

If only so you could hear him say the words you’ve dreamed about since your first meeting.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

#legolas imagine #legolas x reader #lotr imagine #lord of the rings imagine #legolas #legolas oneshot #legolas greenleaf #tolkien #lotr #middle earth imagines #lotr movies #lord of the rings oneshot #lord of the rings #legolas fluff #mirkwood elves #lotr fanfic #lotr elves

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jadedwolf18-blog · 11 months ago

Text

Joke’s on You!

Hi! Don’t shoot! I have gifts!

I put Jokes on You on AO3 so you can find the full fic there, if this is the first time seeing this fic, otherwise you are welcome to try and find my original chapter posts by combing my Blog Archive. Here’s the latest two chapters if you’re up for if you’re up to date. Otherwise I recommend clicking the link to get all the chapters in on place!

Ok, enjoy you Beasties(affectionate)!

🤍🖤💚💙💚🖤🤍

Chapter 8: Bats and Stalkers

Red Hood watched as his newest subordinate flittered around their current base, the kid had shown up two weeks ago and had slowly integrated themself into his gang. Hood still didn’t know if he should trust the kid or not but other than a strange buzz whenever they were near, he had no reason to mistrust them. The kid was… strange but seemed to genuinely want to help despite having admitted to practically stalking him for weeks before approaching. He huffed as he thought over their first encounter.

*****

Jason sighed as he leaned back, legs dangling over the edge of the abandoned theatre's roof. It was a slow night and the semi-peace had him on alert, calm in Gotham almost never bode well for anyone. He'd removed his Hood, Domino in place as he looked over Crime Alley, smoke trailing from his lips as he took a drag from his cigarette.

The usual Gotham smog clouded the sky, obscuring the stars from view. It was nearing early morning when a scuff from behind had him instinctively grabbing his guns as he got to his feet and spun around to face the intruder. Pausing to take in the figure in front of him. They had their hands up in a show of peace and remained calm under hoods scrutiny. "who are you?"

Instead of a verbal answer, they slowly began to sign. "I want to join you. I'm new in Gotham, been following the bats and rogues the last few weeks. Thought my skills and goal lined up best with yours"

'Huh, that's knew.' Jason leaned down to pick up his Hood and put it on before replying. "Why'd you think that? If yah know who I am, what's your goal?"

The kid? they looked about Duke or Tims age, not that he could tell much from the full head and face mask they wore. Similar to Black Bat. 'A copy cat?'' He took the chance to look them over more thoroughly as he waited for a response. Their outfit covered every inch of skin and was mostly black with thin hacker green and screen blue lines running along the seams and crisscrossing their chest, almost resembling the motherboard of a computer, the area covering the eyes glowed faintly and was the same screen blue, there was also a neon red X over the mouth area that looked to have been painted on rather aggressively over a silver grin.

The boots they wore were strange, they were similar to Nightwing's skintight suit but in place of the thin flexible soles, they had thick heavy silver platforms that resemble combat boots. 'how'd they sneak up on me in those?' he wondered. Tucked into the boots was a pair of loose cargo style pants, held up with a silver belt. The top once again bore resemblance to Nightwing's skin tight suit with the sleeves continuing on to cover the hands, each finger tipped in silver claws.

Movement from their hands caught his attention, he paid keen attention as they signed. "1-Personal investment in taking down the Joker. 2-Need help, you were the best bet in letting me get my shot, others would try talk me out of it. 3-Don't feel like being a Rogue. 4-I'm good at gathering info unnoticed."

They let their hands drop to their sides but kept them in sight, head cocked to the side as they waited for a reaction. Hood thought it over. "Prove the last one and I'll let you in on a trial run. Once you do that we can go over house rules and the types of jobs you'll get."

Jason had fully expected the kid to agree and leave to gather information on some gang or something. He was not expected for them to slowly reach behind them and pull out multiple folders, from seemingly nowhere and toss the stack onto the floor between them. Giving them another once over, he saw nowhere they could have possible hid the stack. Looking from the stack to the kid in question, he tilted his head in silent inquiry. They gat the message and began to sign. "That's all the info I gathered on the other Bats during my time observing them, as well as information I gathered on various Rogues and factions in Gotham"

Jason's brow rose under his hood as he slowly moved to pick up the files. flipping through the stack, he could feel his brows clime higher and higher as he did before farrowing when he got to the folders on the Bats. The files were incredibly detailed, describing each of their patrol routes, rotations, preferred routes, habits, favourite rest stops and they even went into detail on their relationships and who paired best with who for fights and recon missions.

He glanced up at the kid, who was currently staring up at the smog filled sky. 'I'll have to leave soon, the sky is already started to turn pale.' He quickly skimmed through the rest of the files, almost snorting as he came across a picture of Nightwing face planting a window at Wayne Enterprises Tower. 'It's a good thing Bruce had all the windows reinforced'. His humour quickly turned into a scowl when he came across a picture of Red Hood dangling from his ankle after being caught in a trap set by Spoiler. "What's your plan if I say no?"

"Black Mail you into letting me join." Jason's brows shot up at that.

"And if that fails?" Jason was curious, what would this kid do?.

"Help you any way. You just wont see me." Jason resisted the urge pinch the bridge of is nose.

"Fine Kid, I'll let you in for a trial period of a month, if you double cross me in any way you're out. Got it?"

Jason received a nod and salute from the kid. "Alright, come here tomorrow at 9pm and I'll lead you to the warehouse we use for debriefs. We'll start on one of the gangs we've been onto for awhile, you got some good tips here. From there we'll test your skills. Now, What do I call you kid?"

"Not a kid. 18. You can call me Hex." With that the kid stepped back, spun and made a running leap to the next roof top. Quickly disappearing into the distance.

"Hex, huh." He'd have to keep an eye on them, they were good, if they could keep tabs on the Bats without being caught. he bit his lip as he looked through the files again until he found the one on Black Bat. 'I really hope this kid doesn't turn out to be a budding Rogue... this is Tim level of fuck all stalking and the fact they manage to make a file on Black Bat... She hadn't mentioned anything, so either she felt there was no threat or she did not detect them at all.' With a heavy sigh, Jason gathered the files and stuffed them in to the bag he used for collecting shit from the dealers or thugs he came across during patrols. Stretching out, he slung the bag over his shoulder and made his way down to his bike. it was time to get back to his safe house and sleep before tackling whatever the hell that encounter had been.

*****

Danny yawned as they stretched out on their couch, it had been two weeks since they got themselves an in with Hoods gang, things were going well so far. They were still doing grunt work being a runner, but Danny found it fascinating. It reminded them of watching his sperm donor's operations but at the same time it was the complete opposite. Where before they were always wary, now they were at ease and confident in their safety. Back then there was always screams, crying and fights in the background, with the current Red Hood? There was a camaraderie, a deep understanding that they work to help those in Crime Alley.

Hood ruled by respect, fear and protection. It settled something in Danny to see the Red Hood title so far removed from their childhood memories. It was also a surprise to find that Red Hood was the source of the Angry/Hurt tugging they had felt here and there since entering Gotham. Red Hood was a Revenant, a sick one at that. Danny had slowly been filtering the corrupt ectoplasm via proximity and was happy to feel the Anger slowly drain away. They couldn't do much about the other emotions but the Anger was defiantly a direct result of the corruption.

"Oomph!" Danny's thoughts were interrupted by a weight landing on their back. "Hello to you too. Why are you trying to suffocate me, this fine afternoon?"

"I Know" There was something smug in her voice.

"Know what?" Danny gave a half hearted attempt to dislodge the Little Shadow but she only readjusted and they gave up with a huff.

"Hex." Danny stiffened and made to sit up, Cass easily slid off them and sat next to them.

"How?" Danny observed her, she was calm and didn't look or feel upset, they were rather confused about the Happy/Smug/Mistchief she was unknowingly giving off.

"Was following Red Hood, He was acting strange. Good strange but strange. Saw Hex use Sign for Me. Only you use Swan sign but Hex used Swan and Hood say Black Bat!" She really looked proud of herself. They had figured out the Bats were the Waynes almost immediately after seeing Nightwing do a quadruple flip and Black Bat's Liminalty gave her away as Cass.

"Ok, fine I'm Hex... What now?" They looked at her curiously.

"Keep secret. Not tell Bats, yet." Danny watched as she seemed to hesitate before continuing in sign. They froze as they watched her hands. "Bats found the Ecto-Act, Big bat is not happy and is investigating how no one found it before. He also wants to know why he was not told and if calls to the Justice League was made."

Danny sighed and flopped back into the couch. turning to look at Cass they decided to tell he the parts of their story they left out the last time. Seems help was coming sooner than they expected. This changed a few things but over all? It was good. They felt Cass snuggle into their side. Danny glanced at her and smiled before grabbing their phone and ordering takeout. Seems they were having a stay in day. They might ask for the nigh off from Hood if Cass doesn't have patrol, they could watch movies and dance. Yeah, that sounds good.

Chapter 9: Stalker meet Stalker

Hex hid in the shadows, ever observant as they waited for their chance to make an appearance. During their observation and information gathering, in order to guarantee a way into Hoods gang, they had noticed the source of the main reason they were in this Cursed city was coming from the Red Bird. So every chance they got, Hex would go out and follow the Red Bird to figure out if the tugging was coming from him specifically or from an object he was carrying. The Red Bird was currently wrapping up an attempted robbery. Hex leaned back on the ledge, rubbing a hand over their chest where they knew their core rested. The tugging was more frantic now that they were so close to figuring it out. A click got their attention and they realised all the thugs had been secured and the Red Bird was getting ready to continue his patrol.

'There!' Hex jumped to the next roof, landing just as Red Robin swung over the ledge. Hex watched as the Bird paused and settle into a well hidden ready stance as he took notice of the fact he wasn't alone.

*****

"Who are you?" Tim kept his focus on the unknown as he subtly clicked the alert on his belt. It would let the others know he had encountered an unknown but to hold back until they are confirmed to be hostile. The unknown tilted their head to the side as they slowly lifted their hands, Tim watched as they began to sign.

"They call me Hex. You have something I've been looking for." Hex leaned against the large vent, hands still visible.

Tim waited but when they didn't continue, he shifted into a more relaxed stance. "And what would that be?"

Tim watched as they slumped slightly, giving the impression they were sighing. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Tim raised a brow at that. "Then how do you know I have what you want?"

Hex straitened a little before signing. "Something... Something lead me to this city, something was tugging me here. If it wasn't for that feeling, I never would have stepped foot in this Cursed City. But... certain circumstances left me a lot of free time and the tugging grew near painful. So, I followed it, it lead me to this city, it lead me to you. I had no idea if it was an object or a person." Tim watched as they stretched and straitened fully, shifting to face Red Robin straight on. Tim tensed, as he straightened up himself. "Now standing so close, I can tell the pull is coming from you, you directly, not something on your person. Now, I'm left with the question. 'Why?'."

Tim flinched at the sudden sound of Hex's voice. It was distorted and sounded like it was overlayed by static. He was quick to fall into a more ready stance. "So what now? You going to try capture me to figure it out?"

"No." Red Robin watched as Hex took a step back. "I know what, or rather who, the pull is coming from. Now, I need to figure out Why and How but it's clear you know nothing about it."

With that Red Robin watched as Hex flipped back and over the edge of the roof. Tim gave chase slamming into the roof top barrier and peered over the edge but there was no one there. Hex had vanished. A click from his comms had him snapping to attention. Tapping his comm once he connected to the private channel. "Red, Report."

"The unknown has left, they are apparently in Gotham because something lead them here. They were following it and, according to them, it lead them to me. They don't appear hostile, just someone searching for answers." Tim unlatched his grapple hook. "I believe it would be best to observe but do not engage in case that changes."

"Hn, can I leave this to you Red? Or should I put one of the others on this?" Tim took aim at the next roof.

"I'll be involved either way." Tim shot his grapple. "But I'll take a back seat on this one, do the paperwork and research, if they make contact again, then I'll put it on a higher priority. O.G.J.J. takes precedence."

"Don't push yourself Red. I'd rather you stepped back from anything involving the Joker." With a tug to insure it was secure, Tim stood on the ledge and swung through the Gotham night, landing on the buildings gravel top.

"I know B. But it's my case, I'll see it through." Silence fell on the comms. Aim, shoot, check and fly. Red robin soared though Gotham, watching out for any petty crimes or signs of trouble as he did a final lap of his patrol route.

"We're here, I'm here if you need help. Don't forget that Son." The Comms clicked signalling Batman had switched back to the main channel.

Tim's breath hitched as he drew in a deep breath. "I know Dad, I know."

Tim shook himself before making his way through the city and towards his bike. His thoughts on his current case and the new mystery. It would seem he'll be needing a new Pin Board.

*****

Danny narrowed their eyes as they watched the Red Bird fly away. Their Core gave a particularly hard yank as they watch him disappear behind the taller buildings. 'Just what is your connection to me Birdie.' Danny sighed as he thought of just Who the Red Bird is behind the mask. Slinking further into the shadows, Hex vanished into the night.

*****

"And just where have you been?" His tone was light but the hint of accusation was clear in Hoods voice. Jason watched as Hex slipped into his office and made themself comfortable on one of the couches, stretching out like a particularly satisfied cat. Giving the kid a once over, he gave a mental nod of satisfaction, noting they had no visible or obvious injuries. The kid sat up and began signing.

"Here and there, I got the information you wanted." Hex once again pulled a file out of nowhere and tossed it at him. Jason caught it and was quick to open it and go over the information. Remnants of the Black Mask gang had been seen gathering recently and Jason didn't feel like waiting for them to become a problem.

"What else were you up to?" Jason looked up from the file to pin Hex with a look. Though the Hood hid it. Hex sat up and pulled their legs up to sit cross-legged, staring right back at Red Hood.

"Bird watching, the red one has caught my interest, seems he has a connection to what I'm looking for." Hex sighed and slumped back into the couch. "After observing him and having a little chat... I have an idea as to what it is but not the how or the why he is connected."

"Whatever it is, it's not gonna cause trouble or put the Bird in danger." It wasn't a question, the threat was clear.

"I don't know. I hope not but with the way my life is going..." Jason observed the way Hex had hunched in on themself. The kid was good at what they do and Jason new the kid truly wanted to help more but something was haunting them, following them from wherever they came from. Jason waited for them to continue. "I have a few theories but I'm not liking any of them or the tapestry they are threading because if I'm right. Then if it weren't for my mother dumping me on my Donor My life could have gone so differently. And I would never have wished my life on another I would have died of guilt if I ever found out."

"Just let me know if you need help, or at least give a heads up if you think things will go south. I may be on the fringes but the Bats and Birds are still allies, nothing better happen ta' Red, yeah hear." Jason turned and headed for his desk, he had plans to make. As he sat down he heard a scuff and looked up. Hex was standing in front off his desk, rocking on their heels. "Ya' need something?"

"I'll be taking the next two nights off, I'll be out of town for a date" Jason felt his brow raise at that. The kid has partner? Huh, would you look at that.

"Oh? Where ya' goin' and who's the unfortunate soul?" Jason smirked at the offended huff he received from the kid.

"1st, None of you business Boss and 2nd, Black Bat." Before Hood could react, Hex had vaulted over the couch and slipped out the door. By the time Jason had gotten up and to the door, Hex was gone.

"Get back 'ere ya' Rat!" Hood yelled down the hall, even knowing it would be useless. "Damn Brat!"

*****

Cass paused in her packing when her phone started blasting 'I'm a Barbie Girl'. Tilting her head in curiosity, she set down the shirt she was folding and went to pick it up. Jason? Why's he calling so late? Sliding her finger over the screen to answer, she quickly held it up to her ear, only to yank it back as Jason's voice blasted through. She stared down at her screen until silence returned before holding it back to her ear. "Done?"

"No, but I've calmed down enough to talk." She hummed as she moved back to her bag. "Are you dating Hex?"

Cass blinked, Did Danny tell him? "Yes."

"Okay, okay. So how do you know my informant?" She could hear Jason shuffling things around and the faint clicks of mental against each other. Probably cleaning his guns.

"Met them first. became friends." She picked up the shirt and another, as she held her phone to her ear with her shoulder, and held it up to compared the two. "Followed them, learned about Hex. Went on date. Been together 3-4 weeks, more if you count hiding feelings."

"Does anyone else know?" Cass thought about it, she hadn't told anyone, neither had Danny, until now, as far as she knew. she shrugged and packed the green shirt. She noticed Danny liked seeing her in their colors.

"No." Silence fell and she went about packing the last of her things, just as she was zipping up her bag, Jason spoke up again.

"They treating ya' good?" She smiled at the very obvious and familiar tone of protectiveness in his voice.

"Yes, very good." She bit back a giggle at the resigned sigh. She fell quiet for moment before whispering. "They are good. Grew up like me, like you. They are hiding but fighting. They are strong."

She could hear Jason's breath hitch. "Okay, I won't ask. I'm happy for you Cass. You think they'll open up more and start interacting with the other Bats and Birds?"

"Yes, they are searching for something. Something will happen but we will be on their side." They were silent for another moment. "They are willing to ask, to trust but need time."

"No pushing, I got it. Bye Cass, have fun on you date!" The line went dead as Cass blushed only for it to deepen as she felt arms wrap around her and fluffy black hair tickle her neck.

"Big brother being over protective?" Cass nod, a shiver ran down her spine as Danny's lips brushed the skin off her shoulder. "You think he'll try to kill me when we get back."

"No. Make you work more." She felt their breath as they let out a groan but giggled as she felt their lips tilt up in a grin.

"It's worth it." Danny spun her around and started leading her into a dance as 'Can You Feel The Love Tonight' began playing softly from her speakers. She let them twirl her around her room before pulling them onto her bed.

"Shouldn't be here." She giggled at their pout. "Brothers, dad, grandpa Alfred and Steph are here. Steph doesn't knock. Dick knocks but will get suspicious if I take too long to answer.

Danny sighed as they flopped back onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. "Hood knows, the others will find out eventually."

"True." She flipped over so she hovered over them."Brothers will give chase if they find you here. Damien is stabby, Dick will hunt. Tim... depends on sleep level. Dad will try to lock me away and will hunt. Alfred will be disappointed."

"So they are fine with you being at my house but not me being in your room?" They raised a brow at her in amusement and she huffed before letting her full weight full onto them. "Oompf! Oi! There’s nothing to worry about. I'll just turn invisible until they leave."

Before she could reply her door was flung open and she found herself face planting her bed. "Hey Cass... What're you doing?"

Cass rolled over and sat up to see Steph in her doorway. "Resting."

"Ah-huh... I was gonna ask if you want to watch a movie and hangout. Since you're leaving tomorrow?" Cass watched as Steph looked around her room, poking at random things as she went.

"Ok, be down now." Cass made a show of picking up the things that didn't make it into her bag, Steph made a sound of agreement and left, swinging the door shut behind her. A minute passed before Danny blinked back into visibility.

"You weren't kidding when you said she doest knock." Cass thew a shirt at their face, which they promptly phased through. "OK, ok. I'll see you tomorrow."

Danny pulled her towards them and places a kiss on her forehead before drifting to the window and fading into invisibility with a wave. She shook her head, a small smile on her lips.

*****

Tim stared at the fifth board, then at the other four and groaned as he slumped into his chair. Hex was an unknown but asking around and looking up sightings he found they're working with Red Hood and showed up a few weeks after Daniel Napier. Tim stood and dragged the new board over to the others. It would seem that Hex was just another identity for one Daniel Napier.

"Just who are you? And what do you want?!" Tim ran his hands through his hair in frustration and sighed. Looks like he's going to be more involved than he thought.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #dead silent #joker is Danny and Tim’s bio dad #Danny and Tim are twins au #twins au #dc x dp au #cass x danny #Lots of angst but also fluff

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thezombieprostitute · 10 months ago

Note

Thoughts on sleepy prompt 33 with Lloyd? Not soft Lloyd, not dark Lloyd, just like, decent equal partner Lloyd?

…and possibly 12, too, bc that’s just so him

Lloyd's Soulmate - Drabble

"decent equal partner Lloyd"... I'm gonna have to channel @eulalielatibule 's Suburban Dad Sunday Lloyd for this because she's the best at writing this kind of Lloyd. That being said, I'm gonna go ahead and use my Soulmate Lloyd, but they've definitely settled in together.

A/N: this was mostly written on my phone!

Ask based on this.

33. “Look me in the eyes and tell me what time you went to bed last night. Or if you went to bed, for that matter.”

12. “No offense, but you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

It's been almost a year since your soulmate, Lloyd, kidnapped you. The first few weeks were quite the learning experience for the two of you. It was a lot of tit-for-tat learning how to live with someone like Lloyd but the two of you actually made it work.

Go figure, Lloyd was an absolute softy for positive reinforcement which you were happy to give when he started respecting your boundaries and needs. The power dynamics were always in flux but both of you seemed to thrive on that. Arguing over what to watch was just foreplay.

Lately, though, you hadn't had the energy for arguing. You would give in to Lloyd a lot easier, which had him paranoid about retribution. Maybe it was depression? You were doing a lot more sleeping and eating. The latter was definitely affecting your figure but, thankfully, Lloyd didn't seem to care other than fully enjoying your bigger breasts.

Lloyd came back from a mission and found you groggily eating some ice cream on the couch.

"No offense, but you look like you haven’t slept in days," he says.

"No offense, but you like you need a shave," you snap back.

"If you really, truly want me to shave the clit tickler you beg to ride every night, I will," he threatens. "But I don't think you really want that."

"Yeah, you're right," you sigh. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just always tired and hungry and my clothes aren't fitting anymore. Maybe I need a workout program or something."

Lloyd considers for a few moments before going to his phone.

"What are you doing," you ask.

"Checking the period tracker," he replies.

"You've been tracking my periods??"

"Well one of us has to! You have no idea how many headaches I've spared us both by making sure I know when to restock the chocolate."

You cross your arms and pout on the couch while he goes back to his phone.

"Shit," he mutters. You look up at him, eyebrow arched. He takes a deep breath, "you're late. And not just a few days late."

Your eyes widen, "shit, shit, shit! I need a test! Now!" You try to get off the couch but Lloyd gestures you to stay seated.

"I'm getting someone to pick some up right now," he soothes. "And, just to be certain, I'm getting you an appointment with Dr. Beck, okay?" He sits next to you and you immediately cuddle up to him, holding his arm in a hug.

"In the meantime," he smirks, "another way to test is to see if you taste differently."

"Lloyd, this is serious," you gently smack his arm.

"And I'm being serious," he tells you as gently pushes you onto your back. You grab him and pull him into a kiss, needing the comfort of his weight on top of you as your brain was frazzled trying to figure everything out. Maybe a good orgasm really would help, and Lloyd was damn good at giving you those.

Two positive pregnancy tests later you're now waiting on the Doctor's office to confirm or deny the results. You feel like you've been in a state of shock since the first positive test. Thankfully Lloyd has been doing the heavy work and the thinking. Making sure you're getting the medical checks you need, making sure you eat.

"We really should talk," you tell him over dinner.

"Absolutely, Sweetheart."

"Do you want the baby?"

"It'll be an adjustment," he admits. "But so were you. And I haven't been happier since I got you."

You chuckle at that. "But a baby? So soon?"

"I've got the means to take care of you both. You won't have to worry about a thing."

You put a hand over your stomach, "promise you'll treat them even better than you treat yourself?"

"I promise," he says without hesitation.

"Okay," you nod. "Then, when the doctor gives us confirmation, we'll go into full parent mode. Okay?"

"Of course."

A few days after the confirmation from the doctor you're starting to feel better. Getting proper nutrition, knowing what's going on, and not getting angry at yourself for your clothes not fitting were all very good for your mental health. You've even been getting better sleep.

Unlike Lloyd. You woke up from an actually good night's sleep to find Lloyd on his computer looking like he hadn't slept since he fucked you into a coma last night.

"Lloyd," you call, getting his attention. "When was the last time you slept?"

"I've been sleeping here and there. I'm fine." He waves you off.

You spin his chair so that he's facing you, "Look me in the eyes and tell me what time you went to bed last night. Or if you went to bed, for that matter."

"If you're telling me you don't remember what we did in bed last night I'm running you to the emergency room, Sunshine."

"You know what I mean, Lloyd."

"I'm doing research. I've never been a parent before so I want to make sure to get some intel."

"You've got months to prepare. You don't have to push yourself this much this early." You stand up and cross your arms but that's when you see what's on Lloyd's screen. "Have you been buying baby clothes?"

"No! I've been getting ideas for my tailor! No way is our baby going to wear anything cheap!"

You laugh for the first time in weeks. A deep, big belly laugh. Lloyd is happy to hear it but also confused about what's so funny. You end up laughing so hard you have to sit on his lap as he holds you.

Finally catching your breath you tell him, "you really never do things half-assed, do you?"

Lloyd chuckles, "with an ass like mine? No way."

Tagging @alicedopey and @icefrozendeadlyqueen because I promised I would.

#lloyd hansen x reader #zombie asks #soulmate au

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saintheartwing · 2 months ago

Text

Analyzing Arcane: The Redemption of Jinx (MAJOR SPOILERS!!!)

I know when to admit when I'm wrong. And I thought Powder, or rather, Jinx...was just plain beyond help. It looked like she'd fully given into her worst self.

And then...Arcane, Season 2, shows me how wrong I was...with the introduction of Isha.

We get a tiny HINT it's not too late for Jinx when she actually HAS a chance to shoot her sister...when her sister comes looking for her in the arcade they spent so much time in, and picks up Claggor's goggles.

She's fingering it, lost in thought about the past, and Jinx cries. It's not just the fact that it's her sister and all her emotions about what's happened recently are flooding, she's probably also thinking about how what she did got her friends killed as she watches her sister hold one of the last remnants of her friend's memory. And she just can't do it. She can't shoot her sister.

She runs off and runs into trouble, and of all people...SEVIKA is the one who helps out. The two used to hate each other, but with Silco gone, the two bond over the mess he's left them in. The Underground's crime bosses are tearing each other apart and innocents are caught in the middle, and they have a hole left in their lives, cuz despite the fact that he didn't do much on his own...Silco had a way of bringing people together and uniting folks that kept order. Things were mostly under control...now they're not. Now, the rules are gone.

And it seems Jinx wants to die. She lets Vi and Cait track her down and they're obviously intent on killing her. And Jinx is just fine with Vi doing that despite an initial and vicious fight.

In truth, when it's clear Vi's won, Jinx is like "I'm glad it was you" and just lies there ready to die. Then...Isha rushes in to save her.

And this...this is how we see what Jinx really needs. Jinx's entire life she has been almost entirely dependent on others for what she needs because she can't exactly manage on her own. The trauma she endured in losing her parents had her relying first on Vander and Vi, then on Silco. Then without him...without ANY kind of support structure...any kind of love...

She just doesn't have anything to live for. Then, with Isha, things change.

Now, she's not building bombs. She's painting bugs and having them do fun little gladiatorial battles. SHE'S the big sister figure who has to be responsible. And while all of this is happening, the city of Zaun is seeing Jinx as a rebellion against the police state Piltover is becoming, using her blue hair as a symbol of uprising, stoked BY Isha who imitates Jinx to help further stoke the flames of rebellion.

Later, Isha gets captured along with a bunch of other Zaun residents and tossed into Stillwater Prison. Jinx goes with Servika to bust them out, and...they're all grateful to see her.

All of them are just so happy she busted them out, she's absolutely stunned. She's NEVER had so many people openly happy to see her. And she's touched. And then...

Then it gets back. Warwick, the werewolf-esque beast that mad scientist Singed's been basically working on in the background of the series gets let loose.

And frankly her gun is like a POPGUN to him, it barely does a thing. It looks bad, real bad...until...he recognizes two things. One...the bomb she's got in her hand when she tries to blow herself and him up together. And two...her face. Her hair. Her eyes.

And he says one word that has Jinx realize the truth. The awful, yet still hopeful truth.

"Powder?"

Yes.

It's Vander. Jinx realizes her father figure isn't dead. She goes to Vi to tell her all about it, realizing that if Vander is TRANSFORMED but still able despite everything to recognize HER...then perhaps all the damage that was done all those years ago, maybe it's not impossible for it to be fixed. They can still be a family. It might not be what it was...but it'd be having her father back. Her sister back. And when they eventually find him in the mines, Vi actually reaches through to him.

I just about broke out crying here. They are a found family once again. Naturally, they want to try and cure their dad OF him being all big, furry and with violent tendencies, and luckily, Victor has a commune of people he's been healing of terrible wounds. He can make the blind see and the lame walk and all that, and he's happy to welcome Vander in, seeing him as perhaps his biggest test. He's a bit more...creepy cult leader but his compassion hasn't changed. For once, the sisters have hope. Vi even suggests "hey maybe we could stay here in this commune, it actually seems really nice" and Jinx is like "Wait...you WANT my opinion"? She'd been afraid Vi wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Now though that Vander seems like he'll be back to his old self, AND she has her sister and Isha though, Jinx is actually happy.

The selfishness she had inside her simply needed to be balanced out with a real support structure. She needed to know she was loved. She needed to know that Vi WOULD never give up on her. That love won't change. Nothing can change that bond, not ever.

Sadly...things end horribly. Singed comes by and he's brought Ambessa AND the Noxian army with them...just as JAYCE has come round. As we find out later on, Jayce has basically been to a bad future and he's seen what he thinks happens if Viktor is allowed to just keep doing his cult stuff...his idea of healing people will actually allow Hextech to overrun all of Piltover and BASICALLY ANNHILATE EVERYTHING into a kind of watercolor painting nightmare. The only way to stop it...is to kill Viktor, who's mentally STILL trying to heal Vander.

So Singed stops the curation of Vander AND with Victor being almost killed by Jayce, Vander is tragically lost in the beast of Warwick, and he's going wild. Worse still, there's only one way they can get away from him AND the Noxian forces, as Isha has gotten hold of the gem cores that have so much magic power...the ones which can EXPLODE. She loads three into Jinx's gun, dives under Warwick, and...

...well...

The good news is our heroes get away. The bad news is Jinx has now lost her father again, AND lost Isha. She is at her absolute lowest point.

She's not eating. She's so dirty and not bathing. Her hair is growing overlong. She even apologies to Cait saying that she never meant to kill Cait's mother, she didn't know she was even in the tower she fired on. Not that it excuses what she did.

Her inner voice in the form of Silco, now with a blue eye to contrast against the orange eye he had in real life, tells her that killing is a cycle. It's only stopped...when someone gets the courage to finally walk away. Jinx feels that he's right. There's only one way she can break the cycle. There is no "Good version" of her. She should die.

But who should show up? The "Boy Savior". Ekko.

Ekko has been VERY busy. Thanks to an experiment with Jayce and Heimerdinger, they got tossed into alternate timelines. In the one he and Heimerdinger ended up in, although Vi died...basically everything went great. Zaun got full freedom, it's basically utopian, his father figure Benzo AND Vander are alive, in fact Silco and Vander made good and they're still friends. Claggor and Mylo are inventors. POWDER is one too and she's...well, CUTE! He actually got a kiss with her on the rooftop they spent so much time at as a child. It's heartbreaking and touching. And he's there now with a "gift"...the work of him, Powder and Heimerdinger in that timeline...a device that sends you back four seconds in time. Though any damage done to you remains.

And so Ekko talks her down from the edge. "No matter WHAT happened in the past, it's NEVER too late to build something new".

She notices the device...and she sees those monkeys. She knows full well SHE didn't build that...though in a way she did, and I think she puts two and two together seeing his time travelling machine. And she makes the choice to fight for Piltover and Zaun against the oncoming hordes of Noxians, fighting alongside her sister.

Thanks to Ekko's time-travelling abilities, Jayce, Jinx, Cait, Mel, all our heroes manage to succeed. But Vi, seeing Vander in the state he's in, can't bring herself to just leave him...which is a mistake. Vander seems basically gone...and so Jinx sacrifices herself to save Vi.

Seemingly blowing herself and Warwick up, though it's implied at the VERY, VERY end that perhaps she's NOT dead, because a zeppelin flying off is the last shot. A zeppelin JUST like the one Powder said one day she'd be flying in...

With THAT...as "The End"..

So...the bottom line of the show being that if you're willing to change and make yourself better...you CAN be. It isn't too late for you. Though you cannot do it on your own. People need to be surrounded with those that love and care for them to give them that final push sometimes, and that's a good thing. The whole season two has shown that if Jinx had the love and care of those who she loved and cared for...she could be the "better version of her". And seeing Vi would never, ever give up on her gave her the strength to be that.

I've never been so happy to be proven wrong about a character. Thank you, Riot Games, and thank you, Fortiche, the French studio that made the beautiful animation for this amazing series.

Seriously, folks. Go watch this on Netflix. PLEASE.

#Arcane #Powder #Jinx #Vi #Violet #abuse #trauma #schizophrenia #mental illness #support systems #Netflix #cartoon #League of Legends #LOL #Isha #Warwick #Vander #recap #analysis

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adobe-outdesign · 1 year ago

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omg can you review the mighty poogle 🥺

The Poogle is one of those really abstract Neopets wherein it's just a Creature(TM). What kind of creature? Who knows. I guess they're meant to be vaguely dog-like (seeing as Poogle racing is a thing, and it does sound vaguely like "poodle"), but they really don't lean towards any one specific animal, which is always something I enjoy.

What makes Poogles appealing is undeniably how chubby they are; it makes them look extra cuddly and is part of what gives them their distinctive noses (or lack thereof) and double chins. It also comes with a bit of lore about them living primarily in cold-weather regions, kind of like how seals have blubber to keep them warm.

Beyond that, I also like their stripes; they break up the design just enough without feeling too distracting, similar to their underbellies. The shape of the stripes is also mimicked by their distinctive ears.

I will fully admit though: Poogles got the raw end of the deal when it comes to customization. Not the absolute worst conversion job, mind you, as for the most part they look pretty dang similar—same pose, same proportions, same markings, etc.

However, what got completely messed up is their faces. Originally, Poogles had a soft, fleshy snoot that had two sets of lines to indicate that it was mostly fat and that it went back in space a bit. Removing this upper line makes their snouts look hard, and also has the side effect of making their snout and even their entire head look too wide.

Likewise, the chin got messed up. The Poogle originally had a pretty distinct double chin/fat neck that, once again, showed how chubby they were. More importantly, their chin lines weren't closed off, so their heads bled directly into their bodies. On converted Poogles, they now just look like they have one weird normal chin instead of a chin and neck. The end result is actually kind of uncanny if you stare at them for too long. It's a shame, because like I said, everything else about the conversion works, and there was no reason to change the elements they did. They're still cute, mind you, just slightly less so.

Favorite colours:

MSP: Species-specific colors always tend to be iconic and a delight, and MSP Poogles certainly are no exception. They're basically the same thing as a regular plushie Poogle, except Evil(TM), with red eyes and a nasty set of sharp teeth (side note: canonically, all Poogles actually have sharp teeth; you just rarely see them). The unconverted version also is bipedal, unlike the regular unconverted plushie, which was quadrupedal.

Both converted and unconverted MSPs have a super fun chaotic gremlin energy to them, and both designs are good depending on which stance you prefer (I kind of like the converted quadrupedal, though granted, the loss of some stitching and extra softness is a bit of a shame.)

Toy: This color literally just released last month, but a toy Poogle based off of the good old iDog is just delightful. Even if you don't know anything about iDogs, the design is still good, with the eyes serving to complete a multi-colored hexagon that draws attention to the head, and the rest of the body considering of just a smooth off-white and black.

Zombie: The mindless eyes on this one are just absolutely delightful and give it a ton of personality. I also like the details, such as a few stitches here and there, a scraggly mouth, scratch lines against the usual stripes, and liver spots. As a bonus, it looks good both with PB clothing and without.

BONUS: I don't normally mention "recolor" Neopets as much on these reviews just because they tend to be mostly by-the-numbers, but the pastle Poogle is honestly gorgeous, with subtle gradients and a low-contrast blue and pink color scheme, helped by colored lineart. It's nothing fancy, but it's definitely one of the all-time best pastels out there.

#neopets #neotag #poogle #I should probably make a tag for these finally #neopet reviews #there we go

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chunkypossum · 2 months ago

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👀

Ok so this one is a bit different… it’s a Nesta Centric fic on how things might have gone had she chosen not to be forced up into the House of Wind to “heal” …

A little Neris… a little Azris…. And a little Nessian … but mostly just Nesta clawing her way into the life she deserves all on her own. … I hope I get to it someday soon ish… *unedited*

Nesta woke with a start, the night still clinging tightly to the world even as the sun began to peel it back bit by bit. She blinked, slow to remember where she was or how she had gotten there. It was pitiful really, laying on the floor of a dirt hovel, so reminiscent of the place she had been with her father and her sisters no so long ago. All for the same reasons too. Pride, rage, despair, emotions she pushed down each morning and vomited up each night in her dreams. For two weeks now, Nesta had been traversing the human realm in search of food and shelter and a way to make it on her own without her sister’s help. Without her sister’s mate’s help. She ground her teeth at the thought of them and their perfect little family. Feyre may have been devastated in the end that Nesta had not folded to her demands, disguised as a helping hand, but Nesta had seen the gleam in Rhysand’s eye. Even if he was angry for his mate, he was relived Nesta was gone. The only reason she had ever spent their money to begin with was to anger them so she supposed her “evil” plan worked. Now look at her.

Might as well be sleeping with the pigs. - She thought bitterly as she plucked straw from her dirty dress. Every morning, after reliving her last moments in the Night court, Nesta squirmed with regret. Would it have been so awful to have just done as they had said? She would at least be clothed and fed.

After the regret began to fade, righteous indignation carried her into the rest of the day. Yes… it would have been so awful. No one was concerned about Nesta, only concerned about what Nesta destroying herself might cost them. No, she had not been fair to either of her sisters. Hell, Nesta could admit she had been downright cruel to them, but under no circumstances could she have sold herself into their way of life the way Feyre had tried so desperately to get her to agree to.

You’re going even if you have to be tied up and hauled there.

That had almost done it. Those few words of demand from her younger sister had placed the other option at the end of her tongue but she had held back. It wasn’t until Feyre had admitted that they were having her apartment torn down and rebuilt that Nesta had fully made her decision. Well, her mouth had made it for her. She remembered being enraged at the fact that the one choice she had made for herself in all her miserable life had been ripped away from her with misguided claws and not much else.

Her blood had burned liquid silver, it was all she could see in her eyes and whatever words she had spoken had seemed to ripple down through the core of the land. It had been as if something long forgotten had opened its eyes after a long slumber. She couldn’t remember what those words had been now but it was enough to send the rest of her sister’s family running.

The Next thing she knew, she was being unceremoniously dumped in a heap at the border of the human lands by a bunch of shadows and a very angry bat.

#nesta archeron #pro nesta #nesta acotar #nesta x cassian #nessian #pro neris #azris #eris vanserra #azris supremacy #azriel x eris #nesta acosf #nesta is a queen #acotar fanfic #acotar #chunkyasks

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hsgucci94 · 2 years ago

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What’s not being said out loud

Word count: 1k

A/N: this gif is how I imagined his face looking like :((

masterlist

———

“No, all I’m saying is that you should set some boundaries with him,” Harry spoke, trying to keep calm and not letting it all out like he wanted to do. He had been stuck in that place for years, not being fully honest with her, but mostly himself. And now that Y/N had a boyfriend, someone very different to all her previous exes and with whom she saw herself in the future, it had him panicking.

“What? Boundaries?”, Y/N replied, astonished, “If anything, it’s you I should set boundaries with, not James!,” she quickly shook her head, in an attempt to make her angry feelings disappear. He just couldn’t be for real right now. “You’re being so rude, Harry, and for what? I know you don’t like him but c’mon! He’s my boyfriend!”

“And he’s trying to keep you away from me!”

“Well, seeing how you’re behaving right now I think he’s got his reasons! What's got into you? You’re acting like a child!”

“I’m not!” he replied right away, "I'm just expressing how I see things between you and James from an outside perspective. How even is that overreacting?!"

"I just told you James wants us two to hang out a bit less, and your instant reaction is to tell me he's toxic and controlling? Well, you're not one to talk right now!"

Harry got up from the couch, as angry as he was anxious. He quickly made his way to the kitchen. What was supposed to be a chill afternoon at his place, watching movies and catching up before he left for his last leg of the Love On Tour, ended up turning into the messiest argument they had ever had since they had known each other, almost ten years now.

He rested his hands on the cold countertop, his body leaned forward as his head hit the drawer in front on him. He shut his eyes and forced his mind to go blank, but it didn’t work. He could only think about Y/N, and how it now seemed he was losing her for good. And only because he was a coward that wouldn’t admit his feelings to her.

At 19 years old he called it a crush, which he didn’t take into action because she soon got a boyfriend; someone that went to the same college as her, or whatever. He never bothered remembering that guy's name anyway. At 20, he almost confessed he liked her, but then Y/N went on about how she considered him her very best friend and... Well, he basically got friend-zoned. At 21 he tried another shot and this time he did it, he really did. He told her he liked her..., like a lot. And all he got for an answer were her giggles, and her saying that he was so drunk that he had probably no idea what he was saying. That part was true, thought, he got pretty wasted that night, only because Zayn was no longer part of the band and that hurt, but it didn’t mean his words were bullshit. Because they were not! Alcohol was simply in his system to boost him and give him the confidence to finally open up to her in that sense.

Fast forward to the next day, he got too embarrassed he decided to never bring that topic up again. Neither did she. Ever since then, he had been loving her from a corner, silently watching her fall for one asshole after another, wishing he had the chance they all were gifted.

Time passed, and Harry managed to focus on their friendship and see her the same way she saw him: as his best friend. But then those feelings he was forced to hide under the blanket for so long resurfaced and now he just couldn’t put them back. There was just one issue, and his name was James, a guy Y/N had been dating for half a year and who apparently didn’t like Harry very much. To be fair, the feeling was mutual. Who did James think he was to keep him away from Y/N? She might have dated some douchebags award-winners, but at least none of them ever tried to push him out of her life.

Maybe James saw what Y/N was so oblivious to; maybe James knew Harry wanted her, as well.

"Hey... H? I'm... I'm sorry."

He opened his eyes and turned around at the sound of her voice, seeing her walking towards him with a distraught countenance. "I didn’t mean any of it, it was just the heat of the moment. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, it's okay," he nodded, smiling faintly at her, "I didn’t mean what I said either. James is a great guy, it's just that-"

"Tour's about to start and it has you a bit anxious. I understand," she passed her arms around him and hugged him. He tended to turn into a bunch of nerves the previous days before going on tour, a bad habit he had developed during his One Direction days, which got him doing and saying things he mostly regretted.

"Yeah, you’re right," he mumbled against her hair, although that was not the case at all, "Will you come see me on tour?"

"Pss. Obviously,” she giggled, turning her head to look up at him, “Me and James already got that planned out."

Of course James would be there too.

#harry styles #short story #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles prompts #harry styles stories #harrystyles #hsgucci94 #hsgucci94 stories #hsgucci94 prompts

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madsworld15 · 10 months ago

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Why Queer as Folk (2000) Was Seemingly Forgotten

An analysis by a professional TV Critic

Let me start off by saying the initial run of Queer as Folk and its current resurgence can be represented by this mantra by Brian Kinney: There are two kinds of straight people. The ones who hate you to your back and the ones who hate you to your face.

The initial run of QAF coincides with the first half of the statement: hate behind your back.

So, recently I started thinking about how in the early 2000s, Queer as Folk seemed to be on a trajectory of going down in TV history. Then, seemingly just as quickly, people stopped talking about it. So much so that by the time I finished watching it in 2009, I only got a few good months of chatter on social media platforms (Twitter mostly) with other fans before it just stopped being talked about in a wide-reaching manner.

I will even admit that I stopped thinking about the show not long after that and wasn't reminded of its full impact on my psyche until late last year when it was back on easy-access streaming due to Showtime's merge with Paramount+.

But why is it that this show is only just now starting to pick up speed again? (I'm talking fan cams on TikTok, memes, etc.)

I have some theories about all of this, so buckle in.

To really get a grasp of what Queer as Folk was working against when it aired on Showtime -- a paid subscription channel back before the days of an overabundance of streaming services, you have to look at the climate we were living in. Also, how inaccessible a paid TV channel was for most people.

So, in the early 2000s, life in the United States, and probably the world, but I'm not fully educated enough to comment on that, wasn't the greatest for those in the LGBT+ community. It would be years before the President of the United States would pass legislation that Gay Marriage be legal nationwide.

Employers were able to fire people for being gay, and the employees couldn't fight it. Gay parents had very little in terms of rights to their own children; in fact, some couldn't even adopt the kids they wanted to because there were no laws against discrimination.

All of these things are depicted left and right throughout Queer as Folk, with Ted getting fired from his job, Michael being extremely closeted at his job, and Melanie not being afforded rights to Gus because of adoption regulations during that time.

So, for our community to receive a show that was by us for us, we were overjoyed. There was something so resolutely refreshing about the unapologetic manner in which these characters were allowed to present themselves and live their lives. And while the show gets dinged today for its lack of racial diversity, we were glad to see queer people represented in a variety of ways -- we got to see the Emmett's and Justin's of the world being friends with the Ted's and Michael's and Brian's.

Not only that, these characters got to love who they wanted, however, they wanted, and whenever they wanted. Characters like Michael and Emmett could go from wanting to freely fuck whoever to finding that special person and settling down. We got to see Ted find the right guy at the wrong time over and over and over again until it was finally the right guy at the right time.

But most of all, we got to see a character like Brian, who, in the hands of a straight person, might've actually gone "soft" and "domestic" just by being with Justin. Instead, we got to see him never change his opinion about what he wanted, but still finding love in his own way.

However, not long after the show ended (like around 2008), the climate in the United States started to shift more towards open acceptance of the queer community. So, people stopped needing an escape from the hardships of real life because things seemed to be on an upward trend toward love and equality. Therefore, Queer as Folk sort of fell off the radar of viewers because we didn't want more of the gritty, complicated, messy queer stories. We wanted our stories to be happy and lighthearted.

(Keep in mind I am speaking in terms of general viewers. There are always exceptions to the rule)

Then, in 2016, Donald Trump was elected President of the United States, and suddenly, it was totally okay for people to openly mock us and hate us.

This is where the resurgence of QAF falls into the second half of Brian's mantra: hate us to our face.

Around 2016/2017, people started talking about this show again. And the love and fervor for it has only increased exponentially over the last few years, especially with the onset of COVID-19 and the merging of Showtime/Paramount+. Both events made the public more aware and able to access the show.

Now more than ever, we need something that isn't afraid to show queer people as we are, not as the media and those outside our community paint us. We need to feel like there is a media format that understands what we are like when we are with our closest friends. We say things that, in today's world, would probably get us canceled, and we judge those around us and have very biased opinions about certain people.

Brian Kinney's unapologetic "I am who I am and fuck anyone who tries to change me" attitude is the exact level of strength and courage we wished more people right now had. His biased, but not illogical, opinion of non-queers needs to be loud. It needs to be shouted from the rooftops because we now live in a world where we are hated just for existing as we are.

Even our rights that had been given to us just a decade ago are being stripped away from us once more. So, the fight for love and equality continues, and the hope that Queer as Folk gives us is important now more than ever.

So, people are seeking this story out and are begging others in the world to watch it and understand that we have always been here. We've always been these flawed but loving characters. We deserve to be heard.

In 2022, Peacock tried its best to create a redo of the series but failed miserably. But why? If we are desperately looking for queer media that is gritty, unapologetic, and real, then why didn't we latch onto this latest iteration?

The answer is simple. This new version was great at creating a more diverse image of the characters created for the Showtime series but failed to understand that recreating things almost note for note with entirely new characters isn't what we want.

It would've been better if the show stuck to broad-stroke themes and made these characters and their experiences their own. Queer today is different than queer in the early 2000s, just like queer in the 2000s was different than queer in the 1980s. Trying to put queer 2000s stories into a queer 2020s world isn't going to work.

We need to embrace this resurgence of Queer as Folk (2000) and give it the love and attention it should've always had. Perhaps finally giving its rightful due in the eyes of the history of queer media. Does it have its issues as the world changes? Absolutely, but we also can't sit here and deny the insane level of impact this show had on the queer media we now know and love.

We wouldn't have casually queer shows like Schitt's Creek, Heartstopper, and Our Flag Means Death if Queer as Folk hadn't broken down our walls and made us realize that we can demand stories for queer people by queer people.

#queer as folk #brian kinney #justin taylor #emmett honeycutt #ted schmidt #michael novotny #TV retrospective #TV history #queer history #looking at QAF from the lens of social queer climates then and now #opinions of a professional TV critic

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tough-girl9 · 2 years ago

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Mother Knows Best (Data x Female Reader)

Mechanical Rose Series Part 5

Mechanical Rose Series Part 1: First Base

Mechanical Rose Series Part 2: Android Mine

Mechanical Rose Series Part 3: Exobiology

Mechanical Rose Series Part 4: Make Us Stronger

Mechanical Rose Series Prequel One-shot: Crush

Summary: When Data informed you that he wants you to meet someone, you weren't expecting to be introduced to your android boyfriend's mother. But the conversation with Juliana Tainer that follows gives you just what you need to reach out to Data and take the next step with your handsome android...

Rated: M

Also posted on AO3

-------------------------------------------------

You lean back and sigh deeply, cradling a cobolt-blue cocktail in one hand and savoring the glow of warm sunlight over your bare legs and shoulders. Taking a sip, you close your eyes, resting your head back on the fluffy pillow plumped between your neck and the wicker lounge chair, and bask in the peace and relaxation.

You've been overdue for some time off for a couple months, but the mapping of the Voris Nebula took longer than expected and you knew you wouldn't properly enjoy your time off if you left in the middle of a major expedition. But now, knowing you won't be missed for several weeks as the Enterprise restocks for its next mission at Starbase 45, you can let yourself unwind and let down your proverbial hair.

A slight breeze brushes over you, ruffling your hair, and stirs the palm trees above you, making a gentle hish sound that mingles with the soft lapping of the water on the nearby beach. Your cabin is situated right on the edge of the sand, with a wide porch and a retractable awning, which at the moment is fully drawn back, allowing the sunlight to pour fully over your body.

In short, it's paradise.

Well, almost anyway.

You've heard all the stories about Risa – it's the most popular shore leave destination for Starfleet officers, after all – and you have to admit that they were (mostly) unexaggerated. Pristine weather, gorgeous views, luxury cabins, endless cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, everything from spas and saunas for the less adventurous to spelunking and rock climbing for those with a more thrill-seeking streak. It's opulence incarnate.

But you have to admit, for your first-time visit to the infamous pleasure planet, it's also a little disconcerting. It's just a little too perfect, with the artificial weather, attractive, scantily-clad Risian attendants, and the overwhelming abundance of tourist attractions clamoring for the attention of all five senses. It's the absolute picture of a tourist trap, and while you can't say you regret letting your coworkers talk you into taking your shore leave here once they'd discovered that you'd never been, you're also looking forward to returning to the Enterprise tomorrow and resuming your normal and less glamorous life.

But even more than that, you're looking forward to seeing your boyfriend again.

You both had been planning to take your shore leave at the same time and enjoy two weeks on Risa together, but at the last minute, word from Starfleet had come about a sudden increase in geological instability on Oran Zeta III, and as the head science officer, Data had been assigned to researching an emergency solution. You'd considered postponing your own shore leave, but Data had insisted that you go ahead with your vacation. "Darling, you have been working hard the last two months and have been increasingly exhibiting signs of stress and overt tiredness. Current research suggests that for optimum health, humans should take an extended time of relaxation at least once every quarter of a year, and your last shore leave was twenty-four weeks, five days ago. It will be at least several weeks to a month before I am available to join you, and I do not wish for you to undergo continued stress while waiting for me."

As usual, you knew he was right. And even though you'd been deeply looking forward to the time with him, you went ahead and took your scheduled leave by yourself.

But as relaxing and pleasurable as your time here has been, you find yourself longing for his touch again more than anything that Risa can offer you.

Given the nature of the planet, it's hard not to find yourself constantly reminded of him. The Risians are famously open about sexuality, and reminders of romance are everywhere, from the numerous couples – many of whom are openly and constantly in some stage of making out – to the inescapable symbol of the horga'hn that appears everywhere from the huge statue in the visitor center to the embroidery on one corner of your cabin's bedsheets. Although you have not been propositioned for jamaharon yourself, it's influence on the tropical paradise cannot be understated. Everything seems to remind you that your own lover is thousands of light years away.

In fact, there are three couples openly making out down on the beach at this very moment. The human man and Risian woman closest to you giggle to each other in between their passionate, open-mouthed kisses. Both individuals are unclad from the waist up and the man is fondling the woman, much to her enjoyment it would seem from the moans interspersed between the giggles. You catch only a glimpse of them before politely looking away; even here, it's still considered impolite to stare. But you can't help but imagine yourself and Data in that couple's place. You shiver involuntarily as you imagine your android on top of you, pressing you down into the soft sand, hands and lips doing wonderful things to your body…

Since your encounter with Lore two months ago, you and Data have been taking things extra slowly and since that night when he showed you his activation switch, you haven't really progressed further in your relationship. But then, you also haven't seen nearly as much of each other. You've had steady back-to-back missions the last few months and you've been busy and Data's been even busier. Lately, it's seemed like you're lucky to catch a few private minutes together, let alone anything more.

But these two weeks of rest and time to unwind from your busy schedule have given your imagination plenty of time to go to work, and being completely away from Data for the first time since you began dating has only added fuel to your fire. And thoughts of taking a new step with your boyfriend are becoming more appealing by the hour.

Your final afternoon on Risa draws on, and you go down to the resort center to find some food. It's a large court, rimmed by a colonnade opening out onto the beach, filled with different food vendors and other merchants selling knickknacks and souvenirs. You get a dish of shor'tan, a local street favorite that consists of dried and seasoned fruit and nuts topped with a sweet caramel-like glaze. You munch on the treat while you do your final round of souvenir shopping. You pick up a miniature snow globe of the Granite Falls of Borthanin for your best friend and a dabaru board for your neighbor in the room across the hallway from you who is always hosting all deck game nights. One by one, you pick out something for each person for whom you'd made a mental note to bring something back.

At last, there's only one person left on your list, but you find yourself stumped.

You know Data would be happy with whatever you bring back to him and he'd be delighted simply that it came from you, but you still feel the urge to find that special something that's just right. But what…?

You wander in and out of the vendor stalls. Colors, glitter, scents, and sounds assail you from every side: everything from racks of moving digital postcards to scarves embroidered with crystals from the Hordak Caverns and so much more. After about an hour of browsing, you stop by one stall that specializes in pet accessories and pick out a cute collar for Spot. But still nothing jumps out at you as a candidate for what to bring back for Data.

Another vendor several rows down from the pet stall catches your eye. There are many intricate, beautiful pieces of jewelry on display in the front: necklaces, bracelets, ear cuffs, circlets. You admire the offerings then step inside, your eyes scanning up and down over the wide variety of glittering items as you make your way towards the back. And suddenly, one piece in particular seems to jump dramatically out at you from all the surrounding pieces, and you feel your breath catch a little in your throat. A second later, you realize fully what it is, and heat springs into your cheeks as an illicit image blazes vividly across your mental eye.

Still blushing, you move on, but you can't shake that mental image seared into your mind nor the powerful feelings it arouses. True, such a gift would be just as much for you as it would be for Data, but you feel certain that Data would like that: a gift for both of you to share together. He's been so patient and gentle with you during these difficult past few months, and you know he'd never push you before you were ready, but you suspect that few things would mean more to him than you taking the initiative to show him that you want to go further with him.

Before you can second guess yourself again, you return to the display and claim the prize for your own.

TWO WEEKS LATER

February 2, 2372

"Hello? Y/N? Anyone at home in there?"

You jerk out of your distant thoughts in a daze. "Huh? What?"

Vadra gives you a knowing smirk. "I think you've already answered my question."

You blink. "What…what was the question?"

"I asked if you were looking forward to tonight. And from the fact that your head is clearly too full of hot android to even notice that your scan finished three minutes ago, I'd say the answer is a big yes."

You blush. "Who says I'm thinking of hot android?"

Vadra's eyebrows rise an impossible notch higher. "Well, I've never seen you go goo-goo eyed over level two diagnostic scans, but then again, there's a first time for everything."

"Oh shut up," you say with no malice.

Your Bajoran best friend and fellow exobiologist laughs. "So, what particular aspect of android hotness has you mesmerized today? His eyes? His blinkies? His shoulder-to-hips ratio? His-"

"Oh, look!" You snatch the tricorder out of Vadra's hand. "The preliminary scans are showing positive readings. Looks like we're going to need more samples."

Vadra leans against the table beside the computer station. "So, he told you there's someone he wants you to meet tonight? Any idea who it might be?"

You shrug as you input the sample data to run another diagnostic scan. "No idea. He's told me he never really had friends before serving on the Enterprise. I know he corresponds a lot with Commander Maddox, but I don't think their relationship is a get-invited-to-a-birthday-party type of relationship. And – I don't know – I got the feeling he was excited. I can't imagine who he'd be excited to introduce me to."

"Well, I guess you'll find out in just over an hour," Vadra responds. She looks at the computer as you start the scan then gives you a pointed look. "It'll be several hours before the scan finishes, and it'll still be there in the morning. Nobody's going to notice if you slip away from your shift fifteen minutes early. It's not like you're mentally here anyway."

You give your teasing friend a mock glare, but you do head over to your work station to neatly put away your tricorder and other tools and lock up the extra samples. You glance back over at Vadra, who makes a shooing motion with one hand. You shake your head at her, but gratefully head out all the same.

Back at your quarters, you strip off your uniform and dump it in the cleaning processor, then stand for a full ten minutes in front of your dresser trying to decide what to wear for tonight's festivities. You want to look nice, but you don't want to appear to formal or stuffy either. In the end, you opt for a one-shouldered asymmetrical blouse and knee-length skirt: simple and comfy, casual enough for a party, but also with a hint of playfulness that you hope will help should this evening start going in the direction that you hope it does.

Feeling satisfied, though still mulling over the curious puzzle of Data's cryptic words about introducing you to someone, you set off to Ten Forward.

There's already a sizable crowd gathered, mostly milling around by the bar, and happy chatter permeates the air. Several tables have been reconfigured to form a buffet line, which ends with a towering, three-tiered cake covered in candles. A stack of colorfully-wrapped presents teeters in one corner and a huge Enterprise piñata swings from one of the light fixtures. A large colorful banner over the bar reads HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You spot your boyfriend almost immediately, in the center of the room with Commander Riker and Geordi. Even though he's dressed in his habitual gold uniform, to your eyes he's still the most handsome and most dashing man in the room. Immediately, your heart flutters and you head straight to him.

He sees you coming, and his face lights up with that sweet smile of his that makes your heart do backflips. He steps towards you away from his friends and holds out his arms for you. You happily embrace him, squeezing him tightly. "Happy birthday, sweetheart," you murmur against his cheek.

"I am happy you could make it, darling," he responds sincerely, and you notice that he doesn't dismiss his emotion with technobabble excuses.

You glide your fingers up his collar and throat and twine them into his hair. "I wouldn't have missed it for anything. I've been thinking about it, and you, all day." You lean forward and press your lips softly to his, and he wraps his arms tenderly around your waist and lifts you off the floor easily as he kisses you back.

"Data!"

Your blissful moment is interrupted by the sound of a female voice from behind you, a voice which you notice sounds utterly delighted. Suddenly embarrassed, you jerk away from Data as he sets you back down, and you both turn around.

A petite woman is standing several paces away from the two of you, holding a champaign glass in both hands. It's hard to tell her age; her up-done hair is silvery white, but there's an ethereal, ageless beauty to her and an unmistakable sparkle in her blue eyes. Right now, she's looking at both of you with the world's biggest, brightest smile, pure, unfiltered delight radiating off of her.

She comes to stand beside Data, slipping one arm around his back and handing him her extra glass. As she does so, you can feel the intense scrutiny of her examination of you, even after you drop your gaze, trying to staunch your fierce blush. "Data," the woman repeats, the glee only slightly lessened, "Data, you didn't tell me you'd found a girl!"

"I apologize for the omission," Data says, and maybe it's your imagination but you think he sounds just slightly flustered. "I had thought to maintain the information as a secret and thus make it 'a surprise' when I was next able to visit you or vice versa. If I was in error-"

"Oh, not an error, but definitely a surprise," the woman beams. She pats the middle of his chest firmly. "Well, are you going to introduce me or not?"

"Of course," Data responds calmly. His fingers curl delicately around yours. "This is Lt. Y/N, one of our exobiology department leaders and…and my girlfriend." He pauses, then squeezes your hand gently. "Y/N, I would like to introduce you to Juliana Tainer…my mother."

You choke a little. His mother. You knew Data had a mother – he'd explained his somewhat complicated family history to you – and you knew he still contacted her regularly and occasionally took his shore leave to visit her, but there's still something thoroughly strange at the thought of being introduced to your android boyfriend's mother all the same. What if she doesn't like you or doesn't agree that you're the right match for her son? What does she think of her son dating a human? What sort of person would Data's mother be to begin with?

"I'm sorry, dear, I would have gotten you a glass as well," Juliana says, "but it appears my son was being deliberately secretive about you." She pats his back fondly, then puts a slender hand on your forearm. "But I am very much looking forward to meeting the woman who managed to catch my boy's eye at last."

For the moment however, you are spared the ordeal of being interrogated by your boyfriend's mother as the sound of loud glass chiming fills the room. Everyone looks to the front of the room, where Commander Riker and Geordi have taken the floor, the former with a champaign class which he taps to give another resounding ring. The merry buzz of conversation fades as everyone turns their attention to the two senior officers.

"I'd like to thank you all for joining us for this special celebration," Riker says. "When I learned just a few weeks ago that a very important and dear member of our bridge crew had never gotten the experience of a human birthday party, well, I knew that was going to have to change. Data." He turns and addresses the android who is standing by and listening quietly. "I've had the honor of knowing you and serving alongside you for nearly seven years, and I'm truly grateful to have the even greater honor of being your friend. So, Data, can you explain to me how the hell I missed all these years not realizing the travesty that you'd never had a good, old-fashioned Terran birthday party?" There's good-natured laughter throughout the room and Data's lips quirk in that smile that means he's slightly confused but happy to go along with it. Riker tips his head fondly in Data's direction, grinning wildly. "Data, my friend, I can only hope this evening brings you one step closer to humanity, because I don't know anyone who deserves it more than you."

There are cheers of "here, here!" and "Data!" and a round of applause. Data looks around, his neck moving with that curious clicking precision, golden eyes wide and childlike.

Geordi allows the cheers and applause to die down before he raises his own glass. He looks at Data and shakes his head, chuckling fondly. "Data," he says, and Data's gaze softens almost imperceptibly. "Oh, Data. We've been through a lot, haven't we, my friend? Well, I can't tell you how glad I am to add celebrating your birthday to that list." He shakes his head again. "I still remember the first day we met, not like I could ever forget it. At first, I was amazed by the technology – that I was talking to the world's first and only sentient android – but that quickly paled in comparison to getting to know the person you are. Bright, curious, endlessly fascinated by every detail of the world around you, seeing things exactly as they are but at the same time always hopeful and optimistic. The real irony is that as I've watched you wanting to become more human, you've helped all of us become more human every step of the way. To you and a happy thirty-fourth birthday, my dear fellow Perceiver."

Geordi and Riker tip their glasses back and drink, and amidst cheers everyone else in the room, Data included, drinks down the toast. You can't help the warm budding in your chest as you down your own drink, which you snagged from the bar during the toast. Seeing how loved Data is by all his friends and fellow crewmembers fills you with joy for him.

It's like going back to your childhood. It's the quintessential Terran birthday party, from the swinging Enterprise piñata to the handmade cards and pile of presents. Everyone raucously sings happy birthday as Data blows out all thirty-four candles in one easy go. Slices of cake get passed around the room along with more synthehol and punch, and one of the Enterprise's many music ensembles begins playing upbeat tunes that encourage many of the partiers to take to the main floor to dance.

Data is thoroughly swamped by well-wishers and you can't begrudge them for it. You'll have plenty of time to him for yourself later…or so you hope. You take a seat with a slice of birthday cake and a glass of fizzy punch.

"This seat isn't taken, I hope."

You look up to find Juliana Tainer standing opposite you, her hand resting on the chair across the table from you. In her other hand, she's holding a glass of tulaberry wine. You self-consciously brush your hair back behind your ear. "Oh, er, no, it's not."

"Wonderful!" Juliana makes herself at home on the chair. She sets her glass in front of her, then looks around the room with a contented sigh. "I'm so very glad I was able to make it here for the party. It's truly wonderful seeing how many friends he's been able to make." She looks back at you, beaming. "Speaking of which, how did my son meet you? I want details."

You tell her the story, as plain as it is, how the two of you had been coworkers for years, silently crushing on each other until Data finally made the move to ask you out, but Juliana acts as if it's the world's most fascinating epic. "Oh, I'm so, so glad," she gushes as you finish. "I always knew when the time was right that he'd meet someone. He's such a sweet boy and a romantic at heart, just like his father. He's been longing for romantic companionship for a while, oh, not that he'd ever say it, but a mother knows."

She leans in conspiratorially. "Just between you and me, it's about time he put his sexual programming to good use. Lord only knows his father spent enough time writing it for him!" You blush furiously and quickly lift your glass, less to actually take a drink and more to cover the brilliant flush in your cheeks.

Juliana doesn't seem to notice, or (more likely) simply refrains from commenting. "So, tell me about yourself, Y/N. Are you from Earth? What made you want to join Starfleet? How long have you been stationed on the Enterprise?"

As you answer, you find yourself relaxing a little. Juliana Tainer is easier to talk to than you had imagined, and from all the signs she's already all but adopted you as a daughter in all but blood. You tell her the story of the Museum of Interplanetary Life and the pirin, then about applying for the Academy, graduating, your early commissions, and then your life aboard the Enterprise the last several years. Juliana is a good listener, interjecting questions or smiling and laughing quietly in response.

"Well, all I can say is Data seems to have good taste," Juliana says with a little wink. "But of course he does. He's a smart boy. So, you've been with him four months now? What do you think of him?"

Your blush returns, but you also can't help swooning a little too. "He's…he's everything I ever wanted," you admit dreamily. "Sometimes I remember that we're together and it seems like it can't possibly be true. I've never met someone kinder, gentler, more patient. He's so good to me. Frankly, I'm amazed someone else didn't come along and snatch him up long before I came into the picture. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend."

Juliana is smiling gently. "Well, obviously I'm very biased, but I couldn't agree more. I don't think I could possibly be prouder of the man he's become." A sad, pained look crosses her face. "I only wish I could go back and make different choices so that I could have been there for him his entire life the way he deserved. His life hasn't been easy, and I know I'm partially to blame for it, so seeing him so happy, content, and surrounded by people who love him is more than I could ever have asked for." She reaches across the table and pats your arm. "Don't ever take him for granted, dear. He's a true treasure, and a good lot of it has nothing to do with his programming."

That brings up something you'd been curious about for months but had never found a good way to ask Data about. "His personality, how much of it is programming and how much of it is…him?"

Juliana shakes her head. "Oh, I'm not the right person to ask that. Noonien was the one who knew all the secrets of his programming, but I can tell you what I suspect. Noonien programmed him with certain qualities, with some input from me: his ethical program, a desire to learn, his need to create, an urge to seek connection with humanity. But we couldn't predict how his neural net would grow or how he would use the qualities we gave him. I believe a great deal of what truly makes Data the man we know has nothing to do with his programming, which is what Noonien wanted all along. He was our child, and like a child, he had to learn to spread his own wings and fly. Noonien wanted to create a being who could make his own decisions, who could become his own person and dream his own dreams separate from his wiring and his coding. And like any parent, I hope we gave him a good foundation to grow from, but there's only so much responsibility we can claim for the man he grew into."

You smile a little. You had long suspected that those little acts of thoughtfulness and kindness, his connection to you, his tenderness towards Spot, the passion behind his kisses, that they were all something beyond his programming, the part of him that made him who he truly was: his soul, if such a thing was possible.

You look up and find him at the bar, nodding amiably and wearing his cute little smile as Commander Riker and Dr. Crusher chat with him. You catch his eye and smile at him, and he tilts his head, unmistakable fondness in his gaze. Riker claps him on the back and the momentary connection between you is broken, but you still find yourself glancing down and blushing happily.

Your skin prickles, and you look up to find Juliana watching you knowingly. When she sees you've noticed her again, she arches an eyebrow with a smile. "Powerful, isn't it? Young love? There's nothing else like it in the entire galaxy, and I'm so very happy that the two of you have found it together. I remember so well how it was with me and Noonien – the blushes, the whispers, the little touches that felt like wildfire, the kisses, oh the kisses." She sighs deeply. "Treasure every moment of it, dear."

You think about the last two months since Lore's attack. You've needed the space, and you don't regret not pushing yourself, but you feel a twinge of longing for how much closer the two of you could have become in those months all the same.

Juliana takes a casual sip of her tulaberry wine and shoots you a mischievously inquisitive look. "So tell me, dear, I'm quite curious – have you discovered his dirty talk subroutine yet?"

You choke and punch spurts painfully out your nose, causing your eyes to water. Juliana nonchalantly slides a glass of water over to you. You fumble for it and take sips in between coughs and rub at your watering eyes with your sleeve.

When you've gotten your choked coughs under control, Juliana raises her eyebrows at you. "I'm going to take that as a no."

You can feel the flaming heat of a blush all the way to your ears, and you take another sip, more to have something to do and to avoid Juliana's sparkling eyes than to subdue further coughs. You can almost feel your eyes bugging out of your head as you try to imagine anything even remotely dirty coming out of Data's impeccably polite mouth.

"Oh, no need to look so scandalized, dear," Juliana remarks. "It's not really all that extreme, as his father and I didn't feel that would match his personality. But we – or rather I – felt he needed to have a more…romantic…vocabulary that wasn't so clinical as his regular speech patterns. Noonien did most of the programming, of course, but I had a good deal of input in many areas, including that one. It's too bad he hasn't used it with you yet; that subroutine was one of my favorites to help create and I'm very curious how effective it turned out to be."

You nod, still blushing furiously, and wonder absently whether you're more shocked to discover that Data has a dirty talk subroutine or that your boyfriend's mother is casually chatting with you about it in the middle of Ten Forward.

Still, as embarrassing as the topic is, you can't help but admit that you're intrigued, and it opens the doorway to a question that's been plaguing you ever since you first starting dating your android boyfriend. "Juliana?" You hesitate, feeling a little shy and also not wanting to sound like you're criticizing her husband's work. "About his…his sexual programming, why did you and Dr. Soong give him that, but not a romance subroutine? I always thought it was a little strange that he knows fifty ways to kiss, but he had to write his own subroutine to learn how to be romantic."

Juliana is nodding half-way through your question. "Oh, it's quite simple really. And Noonien only programmed him with twenty-eight ways of kissing, so anything else he's learned on his own. But as to your question, it all comes down to instinct, dear."

You wrinkle your nose (which is still burning a little) and crease your brow. "Instinct?"

"Yes, instinct." Juliana nods, eyes bright. "Humans are born with certain near-universal instincts, and Data's programming essentially fills in those same gaps. Noonien was very particular about it; he wanted Data to learn and grow as organically as possible, to be as human as possible. The goal was to create programming for Data that would help him become more human-like, but that at the same time would not interfere with his personhood. His sexual programming is a stand-in for what would be instinctive for a human: the technical knowledge of what to do combined with a natural urge to share certain experiences with others. Noonien, of course, left room for Data to develop his own preferences and desires in this area just like a human, but we hoped that giving him the technical knowledge would help him and drive his curiosity to learn more.

"Romance on the other hand, well, that is much more complex and personal than simply figuring out how parts fit together and what feels mutually pleasurable. It's about two people connecting and creating emotional bonds, and that's not something that can be programmed. It's something that both of us knew Data would have to figure out for himself. Thus we left those areas of his programming for him to design for himself."

Your cheeks dimple in a smile as you remember how Data was early in your couplehood, when he'd been trying to navigate romance like a mathematical formula and how stilted and awkward he'd come across. "On one of our first dates, he purposefully locked us both in the Jeffries Tubes because he'd read about situations like that in romance stories. But once we were both stuck in there together, he had no idea what to do. He spent the next forty minutes telling me facts about cats until I finally got him to kiss me. It was adorable."

Juliana's laughter tinkles like a bell. "Oh, I would have given anything to see that! How funny!"

You grin; Juliana's good humor is infectious. "He's learned a lot since then, but he's still an absolute dork." You look over to where your boyfriend is kneeling down, accepting handmade birthday cards from a cluster of school children. "I wouldn't have him any other way."

Reminiscing about him and your early days together lights an alluring warmth in your chest. You think of the package from Risa waiting tucked in your belongings, and the tantalizing image that's been haunting you for the last two weeks springs unprompted into your mind, causing you to shiver involuntarily. Your fingers tingle, suddenly longing to run along pale, smooth skin, and your lips burn with the thought of phantom android kisses. The sudden intense need to have him in your arms catches you off guard.

You find Juliana watching you with a knowing expression, and you duck your head, blushing brilliantly once again. A moment later, you feel Juliana's hand on your arm. "There's no shame in being madly in love with a handsome young man, my dear. But if you don't mind me asking, I have a rather personal question."

You frown a little. "Yes?"

"Well, you obviously love each other and your attraction to him is as clear as starlight, but I get the distinct impression that you haven't…well…explored a good deal of what his programming has to offer. I'm guessing his dirty talk subroutine isn't the only one you haven't discovered yet. Do you mind if I ask why that is?"

Your breath catches unpleasantly and a sudden panic grips you, but then you look into Juliana's kind eyes and see the genuine concern written there. She's a mother; of course, she's able to pick up on the things that you haven't said aloud. Unsure how she'll respond, you swallow, but then you make up your mind.

"When we starting dating, we both wanted to take things slow. We liked the idea of savoring each new step with one another, not rushing it. And for the first two months that we were together, each new step we took was like pure magic. But then…something happened."

Haltingly, you tell her about Lore, about your fear and about your inner battle of feeling like you need to take things extra slow warring with the simultaneous desire for deeper intimacy with your lover. It feels good to talk to someone about it, especially someone like Juliana. You notice the pain on her face at the mention of Lore's name, but otherwise she remains quiet and attentive while you talk.

"I had a similar experience," Juliana says when you finish. "Not quite the same, but similar. When the Crystalline Entity attacked the colony at Omicron Theta, I was very badly injured. I barely lived. Noonien and I were the only survivors. After I recovered, for months I was terrified of going outside, so much as stepping out the door. I knew in my mind that I was safe, but I was so afraid that the Entity would attack again. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't been for Noonien. He was so patient with me. His love is what kept me together those months after the attack, when nothing and nowhere felt safe except his arms. Perhaps Data can do the same for you, if you let him."

You look over at Data again. He's sitting at the bar now. The school children have left to swarm the cake table, except for one boy who remains at Data's side, sitting on a stool next to him. They're both sipping smoothies and clearly engaged in conversation, and there's a familiarity between them that surprises you a little.

"I…I do want more," you admit in a voice barely above a whisper and realize it's the first time you've admitted your desire out loud. "I've been wanting more for a while, but I don't know how to describe it. It's like I feel stuck. It's like I'm afraid to take the next step with him."

"Two months after we fled from Omicron Theta, Noonien asked me to go stargazing with him. I was so afraid of going outside and looking up at the sky, so terrified that I'd see that terrible white light again destroying everything I'd ever known and loved. But I trusted Noonien, and so I went with him. He'd built a treehouse, a treehouse of all things if you'd believe it, right there in the middle of the jungle. He helped me up, and then we lay on our backs amongst the treetops and watched the stars. I tell you, taking that first step felt like falling, but thing was, I knew Noonien was there to catch me."

Juliana pats your hand gently. "It might feel like falling to you too, but I think we both know Data is more than capable of catching you."

You continue to watch Data, your heart thumping loudly. The boy finishes his smoothie and slides down off his stool, giving Data a quick hug before darting off to join the other children. The tenderness of Data's returning hug catches at your heart and soul. There's something in the gesture that captures Data's utter selflessness, the truth that he would give his all for those he cares about, even if he were to receive nothing in return. You look back at Juliana. "Why did Dr. Soong make it so that he can't feel pleasure?"

Juliana blinks, clearly caught off guard by the question. "What do you mean?"

"Why can't he feel pleasure?" you respond. "It just seems a bit unfair to me that he can't ever truly receive what he's so good at giving."

Juliana frowns. "I'm not sure what you mean, dear. He can feel pleasure."

Now you're the one caught off guard. "Wait, what?"

Juliana shakes her head. "What would make you think he can't feel pleasure? Noonien was very pleased with that aspect of his programming."

You stutter a little bit. "But…he's told me…he's always told me he can't feel any pleasure."

Sadness passes like a cloud over Juliana's face. "He absolutely can feel pleasure. Has he never shown any enjoyment in his time with you?"

You think of those expressions on his face when you've touched him, the seeming passion behind his kisses and his touches, those soft, exquisite sounds he's made when he's with you. A bubble of hope and intense longing rises up in you. He's told you he can want to be near you and he can desire your touch, but until this moment you hadn't realized how much it pained you to think that he could never enjoy those moments as fully as you and how, perhaps, subconsciously, that knowledge has kept you from seeking out pleasure from him to the extent that you've wished for it.

Perhaps Juliana reads a little of your emotions and thoughts on your face, for she continues before you reply. "He doesn't talk much about it – not to me at least – but I think he learned to believe less in himself when he was young and impressionable. Perhaps at some point he was told by a particularly narrow-minded individual that androids can't feel pleasure…and now he simply believes that he doesn't."

"Like how he insists he can't feel emotion or love," you murmur.

Juliana nods. "Yes, just like that," she agrees. "I'm glad you've noticed that. He's internalized a lot of false ideas about himself very deeply. I wish I could have a word or several hundred with the humans who gave him such a limited view of himself." She clasps your hand. "But if anyone can get him to see the truth about himself, I think it might be you, dear."

You look up into her eyes, surprised by the depth of emotion in her voice. She cares about him, truly cares about him, you realize. You feel the weight of the solemnity of her belief in you and her hope that you can be the one who reaches some deep, injured part of Data. And that's the moment you realize this is what is going to give you the strength and focus to reach for what you want tonight. This is what you want: the ability and opportunity for two souls to reach towards each other and both bring mutual comfort and perhaps healing to one another.

Juliana squeezes your hand, that mischievous gleam glinting behind her grave expression once again. "Give him a night to remember, dear. And do make sure to ask him about his dirty talk subroutine; I suspect you'll both like it."

Without further ado, she rises, flashes you a bright smile, and heads into the crowd to mingle further.

Your mind still filled with these new revelations, you rise as well and slowly make your way over to the bar where Data is still sitting, at the moment free from well-wishers. You slide onto the stool next to him and lay your cheek against his shoulder. You feel him shift as he turns his head to look down at you. "How's it going?" you ask.

He considers his response briefly. "It is going well, I believe. It is my opinion that I am…enjoying myself."

You smile against the fabric of his uniform. "I'm glad to hear it."

You look down at the countertop in front of Data, where there is a pile of handmade cards from the children. The one on top features two stick figures, one clearly Data, the other a child holding his hand. Above the drawing is written: "Happy birthday, Data! From your favorite android, Timothy." You raise your eyebrows slightly, wondering about the story behind the message. Whatever it is, the pile of cards is evidence of a clear truth: that Data has positively touched so many lives, your own included.

You stroke your hand softly up his back, memorizing every wrinkle in his jacket and hint of his form underneath. For a short while, the two of you sit in warm, fond silence, enclosed in a pleasant bubble of each other's presence amid the celebratory noise and bustle around you. Finally, Data speaks again. "I observed that you were becoming acquainted with my mother. How do you find her?"

You smile. "She seems like a lovely, sweet person. She also seems like she can be a bit of a handful though."

Data frowns. "A handful? I do not believe I understand your meaning."

You remember that mischievous twinkle in Juliana's eyes when she dropped the dirty talk bomb on you. "Let's just say she had some very juicy information about you."

You glance up to find Data giving you a look that you would swear contained mild panic. "She told you about me 'streaking' the colonists, did she not?" he asks hesitantly, and you can hear the subtle hints of mortification in his voice.

You snort with laughter. "You what?"

His chagrined expression deepens. "I take it then that she did not tell you about that story." He pauses and you see the dread of realization pass through his golden eyes. "But I just did."

"Oh, yes you did." You're still chortling. "And I am so getting that full story."

At that moment, the music changes to a slow waltz. You turn in your seat and look up at the music ensemble on the stage area. Commander Riker is hovering suspiciously near the ensemble and when he sees you looking, he gives you a huge wink and grin and jerks his head towards the open area where people have been dancing. You grin back and turn to your boyfriend to tug his arm. "Come on, Data. Dance with me."

He leads you onto the floor and gently takes your hand, guiding you into the sway of the dance. Your bodies are close enough to nearly be touching. You glide your hand over his broad shoulders, holding yourself to him. The rhythm of his steps is precise, flawless.

"So, Data," you say, "I've been wondering something. Should I be calling this your birthday or your activation day?"

Data considers your question with that careful precision that he always displays. After a moment, he responds. "Although it is the latter that is technically correct, I believe the term I find myself preferring is 'birthday'. Until today, whenever I acknowledged the significance of this date, I would have considered it the day of my activation, and that is perhaps still what it is in the most literal sense. However, although I was not born in any traditional sense, I do believe that at the moment of my activation, a new life form was brought into the world and into being, which could be considered a birth. I do not know whether I possess a soul in any sense of the word, but I clearly possess a sentient consciousness of some type and I believe that is sufficient to consider what occurred that day to be a birth."

You stroke your fingers over his right shoulder blade, and through his shirt your fingers brush over the small, secret hidden switch. As you always do since the day he revealed that tiny spot to you, you feel a rush of intimacy with him as your hand rests protectively over his vulnerability. The knowledge that this strong, incredible being trusts you is like nothing else in the world.

You nuzzle a little bit into his neck, and his fingers on your waist stray down a touch to cradle your hips. Warmth blooms in your chest, and you feel far away from the rest of the world, here in this moment with your android.

The song ends, and the soothing rhythm of Data's movements ceases. You remain in each other's arms, both reluctant to let go. Finally, you go to pull away from him, but he slides his hand along your jaw, cradling your face, and lowers a smoldering, if soft, kiss to your lips. Maybe it's just your imagination and your own cravings, but you could swear you taste the longing on him.

After far too short a moment, he draws back from you, though he still holds you tenderly. "And how about you?" he inquires. "You have not told me whether or not you are enjoying my birthday party."

You smile a little. "It reminds me of my childhood. I don't think I've been to a full-blown birthday party since I was ten. It was sweet of Commander Riker and Geordi to organize this for you." You stroke your hand up his arm. "They really love you. Everyone here does."

Data hesitates, as if unsure if he should speak or not. "It is an experience about which I have been curious for a long time, but I have never before been invited to a birthday party, much less had my own. However, as much of an intriguing and enjoyable experience as this has been, I have been unable to stop a significant portion of my thoughts from considering the possibility that you and I might spend part of my birthday alone."

You're surprised by the hesitancy in his voice, as if he's unsure whether you'd be offended by such a suggestion. You press your cheek to his, your lips at his ear. "I've been counting on it," you whisper to him. "I may or may not have a little surprise for us to share together," you add, letting your voice go soft and sultry, hoping it is clear to him what the general nature of said surprise might be.

He turns his face and nuzzles his lips against your cheek. "Curious," he murmurs. "It would seem that a part of my sexual programming is attempting to activate without my command to do so."

Aware that you're still in a public area, but feeling increasingly hot and bothered yourself, you resist the increasingly powerful urge to let your hands stray. You don't want to rush him away from his own birthday party, but at the same time, you aren't sure how long you can successfully keep your hands to yourself, especially now with the promise of what lies ahead before the night is over.

Data's hands twitch against your hips, and you wonder if he's fighting a similar sensation. When he speaks, his voice sounds oddly strained. "The party has now been going for precisely two hours and eleven minutes, and I have spent one hour and twenty-three minutes socializing with various individuals, eighteen minutes cutting the cake and eating it with other accompanying treats, sixteen minutes, forty-two seconds dancing with you, twelve minutes, eight seconds unwrapping birthday presents and reading cards, and one minute, ten seconds breaking the piñata. I believe I have sufficiently experienced all the pertinent elements of a birthday party."

You look over Data's shoulder and see Juliana at the edge of the dance floor. When she sees you've noticed her, she makes a broad shooing motion in your direction. The message is clear enough, and the burning pull in your lower belly urges you to obey.

Data thanks Commander Riker and Geordi for their "excellent organizational skills" and assures them that he has thoroughly enjoyed his first birthday party, then politely excuses himself. From the knowing look that the two other bridge officers exchange, it's clear that they have a good idea about how Data wants to spend the rest of his birthday evening, and their mutual grins suggest that they fully support it. Data is stopped and congratulated several more times by various guests as you work your way out of the room, but finally the door of Ten Forward hisses shut behind you, and you and Data are finally alone.

Almost the instant the door closes, Data turns to you and kisses you, catching you off guard. The open-mouthed caress is filled with a yearning you've never felt from him before, but you return it happily. Your stomach flips and flutters, as if you were riding a roller coaster, and heat pulses deep inside you; you hadn't realized how desperately you'd been longing for this. You twine your fingers into his hair, pulling his head down against you, and give yourself into the blissful sensation of his lips and tongue.

He breaks the kiss after a minute or two, and when he looks at you, those golden eyes are unbearably sultry and you know his sexual programming is fully up and running. "If it is your wish, we should perhaps continue in a space where we are less likely to be interrupted."

"Come back to my quarters," you say breathily, your lips still burning and tingling from his touch. "I have something to grab for us, and then we can spend the evening in your quarters."

Less than ten minutes later, the doors to Data's quarters hiss shut and beep satisfyingly as they lock, promising you both all the privacy you could desire.

For some reason, you suddenly feel nervous. You're keenly aware of Data's intense gaze, but the open curiosity on his face fills your chest with a softness like down feathers. "I…I picked up a couple little things on Risa," you say. You pick up the first of the two packages and hand it to him, a little embarrassed by how sweaty your palms are.

Data doesn't seem to mind however, for he takes it tenderly and opens it to reveal the collar you picked out for Spot. His eyebrows lift along with the corner of his mouth. "Hmm!" he says, before looking up and around, raising his voice. "Spot, Y/N has expressed her affections for you by providing you with a new accessory."

The next several minutes are diverted into looking for Spot, whom Data ultimately finds behind the couch. He coaxes her out and holds her while you fix the collar around her neck. Data proceeds to coo over her in a display of utter adorableness that has your heart aching just as much as the corners of your mouth and your cheeks.

After Spot has been sufficiently adored, Data rejoins you on the coach, that bright curiosity back in place. "I assume the collar is not the 'little surprise' you spoke of earlier," he says. "You insinuated that you had something of a more romantic nature for us to share together."

Your hands are trembling. You could still back out, tell him that the packages got mixed up and that you need to go back to your quarters for the right one, where you could swap it out with a more conventional gift. But at the same time, that alluring image from Risa hangs before your eyes, and you know if you back out now, you'll regret never taking this chance with him. You pull out the second package.

"Yes, I…I got this from Risa for us," you say, voice shaking. "It's a little self-indulgent on my part, so I hope you don't mind. I…I hope you like it."

Data slips his fingers over your hand. "Y/N," he says seriously. "I know for certain I would like whatever you chose to get me as a gift, simply because it was you who gave it."

You swallow, throat clogged with emotion, then lay the small package in his lap. Your heart pounds so hard you can hear it in your ears as his long, nimble fingers unwrap the paper, finally revealing your gift.

At first glance, it appears to be an intricate necklace, beginning with a silver choker embellished with delicate azure crystal flowers, each petal lovingly shaped. From it drape loops of chain as delicate as dew-encrusted spider silk. Two thicker chains hang lower, connected together by one of the thinner links. Where the thicker chains meet the thinner, there are two rings of azure blue petals that match those around the choker.

Data holds it up carefully, displaying that genuine curiosity that is so signature to him. "The workmanship appears to be Risian with subtle hints of Endrin neo-floric influence. Intriguing." He looks back at you. "However, I am uncertain that I understand its significance."

You feel your blush creeping from your cheeks all the way to your ears. "It's…it's body jewelry, Data."

He examines it again, head tilted to the side, then makes a small sound of understanding. "Mm, I see now. The choker goes around the wearer's neck, with the thinner chains draping over the chest. These rings-" He delicately fingers the azure petals suspended from the thicker chains "-I presume attach in some manner to the wearer's nipples, with this final chain hanging between them over the sternum."

"That's right," you answer.

He looks back at you. "The design is quite aesthetically pleasing, but I assume your intention in buying it for me goes beyond a passive visual examination."

And now, finally you give voice to that mental image that has been haunting you since the moment you laid eyes on the jewelry. "I…I keep imagining you wearing it. The silver against your gold skin. Those blue flowers. I can hardly imagine anything more beautiful or sexier in the whole universe." A rush of self-conscious uncertainty floods through you that comes out in a hesitant stutter. "I…I understand if it's not really your thing though. You don't have to wear it. I just thought maybe-"

You trail off as he places his fingertips against your lips. There is immeasurable softness in his eyes. "Y/N, I can think of few gifts more special to me than one which brings you the joy and excitement of which you speak. I wish very much to share in the joint enjoyment that my wearing your gift could bring us both."

You hadn't realized you'd been holding your breath, but it comes out now in a shaky exhale as the hard knot in your chest dissolves, replaced by a surge of giddy excitement. "You like it then?"

That flash of almost-mischief that sometimes flickers in Data's expression is there for a second and gone. It reminds you of Juliana, and you wonder for a moment if he's his mother's son just as much as his father's. "I believe I will like it far more when I am wearing it."

Well, that's an invitation if ever you heard one. You reach towards him, body leaning forward eagerly, and he turns to display his back to you, a clear invitation to undo his zipper. You scoot up next to him on the couch, your knee bumping into his hip, and slide the zipper downward. As you do so, you nuzzle forward to kiss the back of his neck where his hair meets his collar.

Even now, when you've seen him half a dozen times without his shirt, the sight of him still encourages a heady swell of desire from your lower belly. It still makes your head spin, not only that a man so beautiful can exist, but that he is yours.

You reach for the jewelry, taking it gently from his hands, and take a moment just to hold it, feeling the silky links in your hand and the smooth glossiness of the crystal flower petals. You feel equal parts nervous and giddy. Slowly, you begin to lift your hands.

To your surprise, he stops you with a gentle hand on your wrist. You look up to find his expression serious, his lips pressed firmly together. When he sees he has your full attention, he speaks. "Y/N, before we proceed further, there is a question I feel the need to ask you."

Your breath catches. "Yes?"

Data bobs his head. "I wish to understand your reasons for spending this time with me and giving me this gift. Before we continue, is this something you truly wish to share with me, or are you offering me this intimacy simply because it is my birthday?"

His question breaks over you like a shock wave. "Data!" you exclaim. "Of course I want this with you. Why would you think otherwise?"

He is silent for a touch too long. His eyes flicker momentarily down, almost as if he were ashamed or uncertain, before they return to your face. "Then you are certain you will enjoy this?"

Doubt begins to squirm uncomfortably in your chest. "Why wouldn't I enjoy spending time with my boyfriend?" He hesitates again and you lay the jewelry aside, resting your hand on top of his. "Data, is something wrong?"

He's unnervingly still, more so than any organic being could achieve, and for a moment you're afraid that he's malfunctioning. When he speaks, his voice is so soft that you can only just make out his words. "Then you are not growing tired of me?"

A second shock wave hits you and instinctively, impulsively, you take his face in your hands so that has little choice but to look at you. The fire inside you smolders down to a background glow – still there, but taking a back seat in the face of this sudden change in Data's behavior. "Sweetheart, love, of course I'm not growing tired of you. I love you. I adore you. Why would you think I'm getting tired of you?"

Data gazes back unblinkingly, his expression totally neutral, which in and of itself you've learned is significant. He seems almost…wary. "I have noticed that over the last two months, your interest in me has decreased by eight point two percent. Although you have continued to spend time with me, you seem less interested in exploring anything further or deeper with me as had regularly been the case prior."

He pauses briefly, then continues. "When I began this relationship with me, it was with the knowledge that one day I would reach a point where I could no longer satisfy you and our relationship would eventually terminate. Despite this, I decided it was worth the likely conclusion for the chance to get to know you and create memories with you that I would be able to treasure even if you were no longer part of my life. If you are reaching this point, where the novelty of what I have to offer in our relationship has begun to fade, I would not wish for you to continue on merely for my sake."

Now it's distress swirling in your stomach, along with a faintly nauseated sensation. You feel tears gathering at the corner of your eyes at the flat tone in Data's voice and the emptiness in his unblinking eyes. "I'm not growing tired of you, Data, and I'm not going to. What makes you think I would?"

His eyes meet yours, unblinking, boring into your soul. "Because in every romantic encounter I have experienced, the pattern has been that as soon as I have nothing novel left to offer, I am no longer wanted."

It feels like being punched, the thought of anyone treating this gentle, sweet android with such dismissiveness, as if he were only an object to be used and discarded. You remember Juliana's words about Data's proclivity to believe the lies he has too often heard about himself, and you realize this is far more important than any sexy jewelry or blissful make out session.

You scoot back in the couch so that you're sitting side by side with him, your body still twisted slightly to face him. As you do so, he attempts to stop you. "Y/N, if it is your desire to proceed with the jewelry, I do not wish to stop you."

You touch his lips softly. "No. No, I do still want that, but I think we need to talk about this for a moment." You take his hand, your fingers curling between his. "That is, if you want to."

Data nods in acknowledgement. "I am amenable to that course of action."

You mirror his nod and take a deep breath. "I promise you, Data, the last two months have had nothing to do with me losing interest. After Lore…" you swallow painfully, "…after that, I felt….stuck. I wanted more, I wanted it so, so much, and I still do, but I don't think I was ready. I needed time to figure myself out and what I want, I think. Plus, both our schedules have been so crazily busy."

The corners of Data's lips twitch and he blinks, breaking that unnerving mechanical stare. "Yes, our respective schedules have been significantly busier than average," he concedes.

"But on Risa," you continue, "I finally had the time to think about you…about us. And I was able to think about what an absolute gift knowing you has been in my life. And I'm so sorry you thought I was losing interest. I wish you'd said something."

"I considered that course of action," he responds. "However, I was concerned that you might misunderstand my motives and feel as if I were pressuring you to give me intimacy that you were not in fact interested in giving. I would not have wished for you to share time and actions with me that you felt merely obligated to grant."

You recall your thoughts about him from earlier, that he would give his all to those he loves even if he received nothing in return. Your heart aches for him. "I wouldn't have felt pressured, not if you had explained it that way. I want to make sure you feel loved and appreciated and that you know how much I care about you. I don't know what your experiences in the past were, but it's not a pattern that's going to continue on my watch. You're a person, Data, not a curiosity to be discarded the moment you're not helpful or interesting anymore. And heaven help me if I don't get it through your positronic brain tonight just how special you are to me."

The corners of his lips twist upward and his eyes soften to their familiar liquid gold. "I find myself greatly anticipating the opportunity to prove my specialness to you thoroughly tonight."

You reintroduce a hint of playfulness to your voice. "Well, then come over here, birthday boy, and let's see how you look in this jewelry."

The fire that you'd set aside to smolder instantly flares back up, and a shiver ghosts down your spine at the instant eagerness that returns to Data's face. He picks the jewelry back up and presents it to you, then twists his torso to face you, presenting his naked chest to your whims.

You clasp the choker around his neck, your fingers sliding under his hair to snap it shut. As you suspected, the silver stands out stunningly against his pale gold throat and dark hair, and the blue flowers glitter teasingly at you. Gently, you arrange the thinner chains so that they drape gracefully across his chest, enjoying the silky smoothness of his bioplast as you do so. The entire time, you're keenly aware of his eyes fixed on you.

You lift the heavier outer chains where they hang loosely at his sides. The rings of blue petals with their empty centers shine in the artificial light of Data's quarters. Carefully, reverently almost, you slide the first ring over Data's right nipple, twisting it gently so that it tightens until it's firmly in place. You repeat the actions on the left side, then lean back to take him all in.

There are no words for how utterly beautiful and sexy Data looks in that moment. As you hoped it would, the pattern of the draped chains accentuate the broadness and shape of his beautiful chest. The silver gleams against his pearlescent skin. The deep blue petals draw delicious attention to his pretty rose-gold nipples that now form the center of each of the two flowers, simply begging to be lavished with all kinds of attention. His sweet, soft expression is the perfect finishing touch to the gorgeous ensemble.

He's so much hotter than you ever dared to dream he'd be.

"Data," you choke. "Oh god, Data."

His expression turns impossibly shy. "Is it…satisfactory?"

Your response is to hurl yourself enthusiastically onto him before your insides burn right through your skin.

He falls back gently against the couch and catches you, his hands clasping your waist, as your lips crush against his in a passionate kiss. The sensations of wet warmth and silken skin fill your universe with white-hot stars. Every inch of your skin tingles and flares as your tongues perform their own pleasurable waltz in a sultry imitation of your earlier dance. You run your hands up along his bare shoulder blades, caressing him deeply, your stomach and chest pressed tight against his. The insides of your thighs squeeze against the gentle swell of his hips. You glide your fingers along the edge of his collar, feeling how his soft skin meets the smooth metal, then you dig them deep into the thick locks of dark hair. Oh, you think as you moan softly into his mouth, this is exactly what you'd been craving.

Data responds in like, kissing you back with unveiled enthusiasm. He's eager and boyish, like the times you've seen him in his Holmes holodeck program or that time a few days ago when he discovered the existence of string telephones and rounded up you, Geordi, and Counselor Troi to thoroughly test it all over the ship for literal hours. You love that so much about him: that everything is fresh and bright and exciting and interesting through those golden eyes. Every moment with him is a new gift.

His fingers toy with the bottom of your shirt, then he slips his hands up underneath the garment, and you feel his long fingers gliding over the bare skin of your lower back. At the same time, his lips part from yours and he nuzzles against your jaw, encouraging you to tilt your head back for him. You do so and gasp when you feel his mouth press hard against your throat. He sucks at your skin, then licks with the flat of his tongue, and the combination of sensations has you reeling. You stare at the ceiling, eyes glazed with pleasure and half shut, and whimper as Data's hands dance against the bare skin of your back and his lips and tongue continue to do wonderful things to your throat.

Suddenly, he wraps his arms more tightly around you and stands with easy grace as if you weigh nothing to him, his lips returning to yours. You wrap your legs around his hips, holding yourself to him as he carries you, your noses bumping and rubbing together as you find the rhythm of your kiss. You feel him moving, walking whilst never breaking the kiss, then suddenly he's leaning forward and releasing you. There's a split second of exhilarating free fall, then you sink into pure softness. You realize after a second that you're laid out on your back in his bed.

He quickly slides himself onto the bed after you, resting on his hands and knees and straddling you. You gaze up at him with awe, torn between staring into his face and at the silver chains hanging from his chest. From your exquisite point of view, his shoulders seem even broader than usual, and you can see all the individual shapely lines of his arms pressed down into the bed on either side of you. Your insides are simply melting into liquid heat.

On a sudden impulsive whim of bravery, you reach down to where the black line of his dress pants meets the golden cream of his bare stomach. You hook your fingers over the waistband and tug just slightly downward, then pause to give him a chance to react. He tilts his head to the side, his lips parting in that expression of soft curiosity that you love so deeply, then his eyebrows rise sharply. He lifts one hand and places it over the top of yours against his waist. For a second, you stare into each other's eyes, then he closes his hand over yours and helps you tug his pants downward.

It would be a lie to say that getting Data out of his pants is an entirely graceful process, but it's a new and exciting one that ends with the beautiful android on his back on the bed while you tug off his boots and slide his bunched pants over his feet to free him of them at last. You sit back on your heels and gaze down at the sight below you.

He's now dressed in nothing but his black, standard-issue Starfleet boxer briefs that leave decidedly little up to the imagination. They hug the shape of his smooth thighs and show off even more that perfect sculpted stomach. His legs are long and elegant, once again crafted to perfectly mimic the musculature of a fit adult male, and you run your hands down them, feeling the curve of the artificial muscles underneath the flawless bioplast.

You sit back again, admiring him as he looks up at you with that soft, sweet expression, and try to decide what will sate the cravings clamoring inside of you. Finally, your eyes stray back up to his chest and that utterly alluring jewelry clasped to him. Your stomach knots and flips wonderfully.

In the reverse to the position you were in minutes ago, it is now you sliding yourself up Data's body, straddling him on the bed beneath you. His head and shoulders rest against the pillows, propping up his torso perfectly and putting him on full display for you. You shiver as your body slides against his, aware of just how little he's wearing.

You begin by stroking him, starting at the low rim of his boxers and working your way slowly, methodically upward. You watch his eyes sink half-shut, lips parted, that sensual expression that you absolutely cannot ever get enough of spreading over his face. You ghost your fingers along the underside of his pectoral muscles to the outside of his chest, briefly brushing against the chain hanging between his nipples. His tongue slips out, moistening his lips in a fascinatingly human way. You sit on his hips, leaning forward and deeply massaging the sides of his chest, purposefully avoiding the chains. His fingers twitch impulsively.

You lean further, dipping down to teasingly kiss the very corner of his mouth as you continue to rub his sides. He makes a soft, almost inaudible sound in response. You kiss down his throat and nuzzle the underside of his choker with your lips, then move further down, kissing and occasionally scraping gently with your teeth. You feel his hips shift slightly under yours, sending an electric jolt through your whole body.

Finally, you slide your hands back inward, over his sternum, and run your fingertips along the chain lying across the center of his chest. Gently, you hook the chain over your finger and tug ever so gently, watching your handsome android as you do so.

His head drops back into the pillows, baring the full length of his long, beautiful throat adorned with that silver choker. A sound escapes his rose-gold lips: soft and sweet and keening. The pleasurable knot in your stomach tightens further. You pinch the chain between your forefinger and thumb, giving you heightened control over it, and begin to play, experimenting with pressures, speeds, and movements, and carefully watching his reactions to make sure he's enjoying himself.

After several minutes, you've determined that Data seems to like it best when you tug the chain slowly and gently taut, then release it and repeat the motion. It is certainly what is getting the best and hottest reactions from him, and your insides are nothing short of molten at how sexy he looks with his back arched, his head tossed back, hair tousled, soft little sounds of appreciation bubbling from his lips.

But despite your guesses, you want to make sure, so you gently ease the chain and reach up to cup his face. "Are you enjoying yourself, sweetheart?"

His eyes flicker back open and he tilts his head sideways on the pillow. "Yes," he whispers. "It…it is an intriguing experience." You smile at how flustered he sounds. "Yes." He nods his head. "I believe you made an excellent selection of a birthday gift." He looks sweetly up at you. "Are you finding that it meets your expectations, darling?"

You caress his cheek. "Oh, Data, I can't even begin to tell you how sexy you look. It's perfect. My only regret is that we didn't do something like this sooner."

He reaches up and mirrors you, cupping your cheek. "Y/N, by your own admission, if we had gone further before now, you would not have been ready. When I was first becoming sentient, I wished to learn and know and experience so much more, and yet, forcing my neural pathways to grow before they were ready would have caused great harm to my overall system and might even have led to cascade failure. Perhaps this is similar. Perhaps you needed to wait for the correct pathways to form before you could properly enjoy the experience."

Of course he's right, this innocently wise android who is so perceptive at the same time. You can't help but smile fondly at him. "You're right, but I'm certainly enjoying it now." You close your eyes as he glides his thumb along your cheekbone. "Watching your pleasure is something that will never grow old."

Immediately, he frowns. "Y/N," he says in a serious voice, "I must remind you that I am incapable of feeling pleasure."

You poke him in the middle of his chest. "Except that you can feel pleasure, you dork. Juliana told me you could. Dr. Soong specifically designed you to be able to feel pleasure. I just knew that was what you were feeling all this time and you were just being obtuse about it."

He goes so still and quiet, but the spark of hope that lights in his eyes wrenches at your heart. "I can feel pleasure?" he asks in that quiet, awed voice, almost as if he's afraid that if he says it, it will slip away from him like a morning mist.

"Yes," you repeat firmly. "Yes, Data, you can."

"I can feel pleasure," he repeats, eyes still wide. "I can feel…pleasure."

His eyes refocus on you and there's a new intensity to them beyond his sexual programming. "I can feel pleasure." He pulls you down against himself, kissing you deeply and wrapping his arms around you, letting his hands slide down to your hips. You kiss him back passionately, caressing your hands up his stomach and over his broad chest, stroking your fingers over his firm nipples and still toying with the delicate chain hanging between them. He makes soft noises of what you now know for certain is pleasure against your mouth as your tongue continues to twine with his, his fingers tightening against your hips.

He rolls you both over, so that your back is once again against the bed sheets, as he continues to nuzzle and kiss you with fervor. After a minute, he pushes himself off you and gazes down at you with a tenderness that has you melting. "Y/N," he says and hesitates. "Y/N, I am pleased to...to experience pleasure with you." He still seems amazed by the revelation.

"So am I," you answer. "Though I was pretty sure that's what you had going on all along."

His eyes are so immeasurably gentle. "Y/N, if I have learned one thing about you, it is that you believe in my own humanity oftentimes even more so than myself."

"Well, it's easy for me," you reply. "I get to see your humanity every day, and it's a beautiful thing."

He grows quiet and almost shy. You tip your head to the side against the pillows to watch his face. "Something on your mind, sweetheart?"

He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, and there's a nervous energy about him, as if you can feel the increase of the electricity flow through his neural net. He opens his mouth, closes it, then reopens it. Finally, he speaks in a hesitant voice. "I do not wish to 'switch things up' if you are enjoying our current activities…"

You raise your eyebrow. "But…?"

"But," he continues with a little nod, "but I cannot help but observe the clear enjoyment that you experience each time I have disrobed for you to any degree. I have found myself curious as to whether I might partake in that same enjoyment were I to witness you in a similar state of undress for me. And if so, if you might be willing to explore that possibility with me."

Something new runs through you – a heat or a chill, you're not certain – but it brings in its wake anticipation, excitement, and more than a little shyness. Your cheeks blaze red. "You…you'd like to undress me?"

He nods fervently. "Yes."

Immediately and without bidding, your mind conjures up the phantom sensations of your bare skin pressed against Data's for the first time, his hands roving your body, his eyes devouring you. You remember your thoughts on Risa about letting Data touch you more intimately than anything you had yet shared together and you examine your current feelings. You're nervous, yes, a little embarrassed, yes, but the thought also makes you burn exquisitely.

It's frightening too, but you remember what Juliana said. You know Data will catch you.

"Yes, Data," you answer him a little shakily, placing your hand on his arm. "Yes, I think…I think I'd like to share that with you."

His eyebrows lift and the corners of his mouth perk up instantly, his whole face lighting up. "Truly?"

"Yes, truly," you answer, tapping the tip of his nose. "Anytime you're ready, handsome."

He tilts his head to the side, and you swear there's a deeper gold tint to his cheeks, then he seems to make up his mind. He tenderly takes hold of the bottom hem of your shirt, his fingers so delicate as if he's afraid he'll tear it. The fabric slides against your skin as he pulls it up and off you, his movements slow, deliberate, and careful. There's a sudden rush of cool air against your exposed skin as Data pulls the garment completely away and discards it on the bed beside you.

He pauses, his eyes meeting yours, and there's a silent question in his gaze. You nod to him, letting him know you feel all right and safe, and some almost imperceivable tension eases from his shoulders. He nods back then turns his gaze to your body.

You'd been hoping that things between you and Data might progress to this stage tonight and as such, you'd come prepared. You're wearing a decidedly prettier bra than what you would have ever chosen for yourself: pale blue with lace cutouts along the sides and yellow embroidery over the cups. You're not even sure if Data will notice or enjoy it, but you like the idea of feeling pretty for your handsome android.

You watch his eyes skim methodically over you, from the rim of your skirt up to your chest and shoulders. The expression on his face is one of open curiosity and more than a little wonder. The blush in your cheeks glows on your skin.

After several minutes of silent gazing, his eyes return to yours, soft and awed. "Y/N," he murmurs softly, "you are…very aesthetically pleasing."

Your blush deepens, but you are still caught off guard when he speaks again. "May I continue to remove more of your garments?"

Not trusting your voice, you nod.

This time, he gently slips your skirt down your legs and off, revealing the matching pale blue lace panties you chose for this evening. Faintly, you wonder if he can tell you dressed for him, but your blood is pounding in your ears so hard that coherent thought is becoming difficult. After he removes your skirt, he gently slides his hands up your waist. He traces his fingertip along the gold embroidery of your bra and you shudder when he glides over your nipple. He fingers the lace, then carefully slips his hands around to your back. Between your back and the mattress, you feel his fingers deftly undoing your bra.

The garment comes loose suddenly. Your heart pounds. With all the meticulous carefulness of his mechanical nature, Data slides the straps down your arms then discards your bra entirely.

And just like that, for the first time, you are completely naked from the rim of your panties up in Data's presence.

Shyness washes over you, and you feel the intense urge to cross your arms and cover yourself but you resist, keeping your arms on the bed at your side and allowing him to look to his mechanical heart's content.

And look he does. There's still that sensual light to his eyes caused by his sexual programming, but his most prominent expressions are continued inquisitiveness and wonder. He tilts his head back and forth, as if to look at you from every possible angle, to take in every part of you. You're hyper-aware of your topless body and how fully Data can see you. You shift a little, feeling the intensity of his gaze like a physical touch, until you are hardly able to bare it any longer. You are intimately aware of his hands resting on the bed to either side of you, and suddenly an overwhelming craving for his touch washes over you.

"You know, you're not limited to a visual examination," you tease.

He meets your eyes and you see the recognition as he remembers the words he spoke to you when you were first frozen at the sight of his bare chest. His lips part, his eyes light up, and he lifts himself, leaning on one arm so that the other is free.

His fingers are cool when he touches you, causing a slight shiver to run its way from your shoulders to your toes. He starts at your belly, exploring your navel, the soft flesh over your stomach, and your ribs. Your breathing quickens. He pauses and looks up to your face again, shy and questioning. In response, you reach down to his hand, take it in yours, and lift it to your chest.

He freezes, as if unsure how to proceed, but then his fingers curl gently over the swell of your breast. Your skin feels hot, and you are aware of every single sensation to an almost excruciating degree. He shifts his palm, and you bite your lip to stop from moaning as he rubs against your nipple. Then he begins to stroke gently with his thumb, running it back and forth over the underside of your breast, seemingly mesmerized by the softness and smoothness. Vaguely, through your haze of arousal, you consider how much of his computational abilities are currently focused solely on you, and what an honor that is.

Your heart is pounding so hard that you imagine that he must be able to feel it. You lick your lips, your breath catching. Data glances up to your face. "Is this experience agreeable to you?"

You try to form words around this heady reality of being all but naked in Data's bed, with his hand gently stroking your bare chest. "I'm…I'm realizing how…how much I've been wanting more with you, Data."

He smiles, that small, almost invisible yet unforced smile that one might not even recognize as such unless you knew him well. "And how about you?" you ask. "Are you finding it as enjoyable as you hoped?"

He considers your question for a brief moment, then nods. "Although yours are not the first breasts I have seen, I am finding my systems uniquely affected by you. My sexual programming appears to be shutting down many of my other systems and I am finding it strangely hard to focus on any of the other tasks I have been running during this time. I am additionally experiencing an odd sensation, something I cannot adequately describe. It is like when I have not ingested my biochemical lubricant for too long and my inner workings have begun to stiffen; it is like the sensation of when I ingest my lubricant and suddenly everything is working at optimum efficiency again. It is a feeling of…gratification…of satisfaction. Yes…yes, I believe I am enjoying the experience." That sweet puppy look comes into his eyes. "I believe…it is pleasurable."

The corners of your cheeks dimple with a huge smile. You love how amazed and happy he is at the discovery of his own ability to experience pleasure, and you can't help but admit that you are enjoying that your body has the ability to please him just as much as his does for you. That train of thought leads you back to that particularly juicy bit of information that Juliana shared with you earlier. You reach up and stroke Data's chest, running your finger over the petal rings and down the chain. "So, Data."

He raises an eyebrow. "So, Y/N?"

You raise your own eyebrow back at him. "Your mother says you have a dirty talk subroutine."

Data doesn't seem fazed by this revelation. His lips purse and his eyes slide off to the side as he accesses his systems. After a moment, both eyebrows rise sharply. "Hm!" He refocuses on you. "Yes, that information appears to be correct. I have a subroutine designed specifically to verbally encourage arousal and excitement."

"And you've never mentioned it or wanted to try it out?" you ask, blushing and grinning at the same time.

"It is not a part of my system that I have ever had reason to access," he responds matter-of-factly "I did not know it was something you were curious about. Do you wish for me to activate it now?"

You bite your lip, unsure what exactly you're getting yourself into, but you decide to go for it. "Yes, please."

Data's head twitches mechanically. "Subroutine activated," he says in that monotone voice that indicates he's performing some internal action with his systems. "Level one setting." He twitches again, and his gaze refocuses. You watch him closely, waiting.

He lowers himself back down and lifts his hand to glide his forefinger slowly down your cheek. You wait with bated breath and shiver as he strokes his fingertip teasingly over your lips. Then he whispers in a surprisingly husky voice. "Y/N, you are so beautiful to me. You please me so much. You make me feel more alive – more human – than anything else in the galaxy. I want to kiss and touch every nanometer of you until you know beyond a doubt that you are everything to me."

His hand strays back down, and he cups your breast and squeezes gently, massaging your soft, sensitive skin. He nuzzles his lips up against your cheek, and you feel the faint puff of his breath. You're shivering all over with desire.

"I love how your breath quickens when I touch you, how your heart rate increases when I kiss you, how your skin grows hotter when I am near you. I love setting you on fire and watching you burn for me. I love the way my name sounds on your lips when you moan it."

Oh heavens! Heavens! Hearing him talk like this to you is having a stronger effect than you had ever imagined it would. Your fingers twist in his sheets and you bite your lip, trying desperately to stop yourself from impulsively pressing up against him.

Apparently, he can tell the effect he's having on you. "Do you like it?" he whispers against your cheek and you feel his fingers slide over your bare nipple. He pinches your nub softly between his forefinger and thumb and rolls it back and forth, causing waves of sweet sensation. "Do you like being unclad in my bed? Do you like how I look in your gift to me? Do you like my hands on your bare skin? Do you want more?"

You whimper and twist beneath him. "Yes, yes, yes. Data, I do, yes."

He slowly licks the rim of your ear then places his lips to it. "Then more I shall give."

Data adjusts himself, his movements fluid and graceful. Now he's lying between your legs, his stomach pressed against yours, holding his upper body away from you with one strong arm planted on the bed beside your chest. You are shivering helplessly, undone by how gorgeous he looks, your near-naked body pulsing with heat you can't control, every nerve aware of how close and intimate Data's body is to yours.

He locks gazes with you, liquid, golden heat pooling in his eyes with the intensity of his android stare. Without breaking eye contact with you for so much as a fraction of a second, he lowers himself, his tongue slipping from between his lips, and, still looking you straight in the eyes, he licks a slow, scorching path up the swell of your breast and over your throbbing nipple with the flat of his tongue.

You're unable to contain the soft whine that the sensation drags from your lips, as your fingers knot tightly in the sheets to either side of you. Data licks you again, and you can sense him carefully cataloging every single one of your body's natural responses. This time, he drags his tongue slowly up the underside of your breast, circles your nipple tantalizingly, then trails up to your clavicle, which he mouths gently. The faint friction of his bare stomach against yours as he moves has you yearning to press yourself up harder against him, to relieve just a little of the aching pressure causing every one of your nerves to feel like it is on fire.

Data evidently decides he has given your collarbone sufficient attention, for his tongue strays back down your body. Once again, he circles your nipple, teasing you, before nuzzling his face down into the valley of your chest to rub his nose tenderly against your sternum. One of your hands remains knotted in the blankets at your side, but you instinctively lift your other hand to cradle the back of Data's head, your fingers sinking into his thick, dark hair. He rubs his nose back and forth and kisses the very center of your chest. His tongue ventures out to taste you, and you can sense his warm curiosity with every new moment.

Satisfied apparently for the time being, he lifts his head and seems to consider where to explore next, his head tipped slightly to the side. Your hand remains against his cheek, your fingertips in his hair, and you try to keep still despite your trembling, resisting the urge to guide his mouth back down to your chest.

To your immense relief, he chooses that course for himself after a slow moment of deliberation. He uses the tip of his large nose to rub against your nipple, then tilts his head back to use his tongue against your sensitive flesh once again. The first stroke is soft and flat, the texture of him catching lightly against you, causing a slow pulse of sensation. Before you are prepared however, he immediately switches tactics and rapidly flicks the tip of his tongue against you.

The sudden onslaught of pleasurable sensation causes you to arch your back, your thighs squeezing against his hips, your fingers tightening in his hair. "Daaaata," you gasp in a breathy voice, and he makes a soft humming sound in response to his name that vibrates beautifully against your skin.

He runs his hands up and down your sides, stroking your skin and pressing you to himself. "Yes," he murmurs. "Yes, say my name, Y/N. Let me know how much you enjoy me." Before you can respond further, he lowers his lip to your chest and sucks your nipple gently into his warm, wet mouth.

Part of you has been holding back, whether from shyness or some sense of decorum or something else, you're unsure. But the sheer hotness of this moment – your gorgeous android lying on top of you, his hands on your hips, your breast in his mouth – is too much. You writhe beneath him, reaching up and out to wildly pet every part of him you can reach – his arms, his shoulders, his back – while noises of unfiltered happiness and desire and appreciation spill profusely from your lips.

After only a sparse thirty seconds or so, he's fully adjusted the pressure of his lips to the exact right amount for you to enjoy, no doubt accomplished through his ability to analyze your every reaction instantly and calculate what you are enjoying the most. The sensations of his sucking lips combine with the tingling flicks and touches of his tongue, leaving you as little more than human putty in his strong hands. He cups your other breast, using his fingers to gently play with your tender flesh.

"Oh, Data," you whimper into his hair, gripping the messy dark locks tightly, your fingers buried deep. "Data…Data, you beautiful, amazing, sexy android."

He hums in acknowledgement, and the wonderful vibrations run all the way through your topless body.

He can tell when you're starting to become tired and overstimulated. Gently, he releases your nipple from his lips and caresses your other breast with his fingers one last time, then slides his hand down to your hip. You suddenly realize how tired and relaxed you feel, and as the sensations fade, you feel yourself practically melting into the bed. You feel amazingly warm and fuzzy all over, and your breasts still throb pleasantly from all of Data's attention.

You watch through half-hooded eyes as Data carefully removes the body jewelry from himself and tenderly stows it in what you think of as his drawer of treasures – the place where he keeps his Sherlock pipe, his poker cards, his Starfleet medals, and all the other odds and ends that he cherishes the most. You know him well enough to appreciate the honor it is to have something of yours joining those other beloved trinkets. When he's finished, he returns and lies down next to you, resting his head on the pillow beside you. You reach up and pat at his frowsy tangle of curls, smoothing them back down. His eyes are gentle but no longer sensual, signaling that his sexual program has deactivated.

You're still aware that both of you are all but naked, but there's a quiet intimacy about your shared state of undress now instead of that impassioned heat. You shiver slightly, and Data reaches down your body to tug the blankets up over you, leaving you cocooned in soft warmth. He gives you his tiny smile. "I believe it has been an…excellent…birthday."

You stroke his cheek. "It wasn't even my birthday, and I still think it was excellent."

He kisses you, a cute little peck to your lips. "I must thank you for sharing my birthday with me, and also for your thoughtful and thoroughly enjoyable gift."

You peck him back. "Thank you for letting me share it with you. I can't think of anything else in the universe I would have rather done this evening than share my android boyfriend's birthday."

He picks something up from the bed beside you, and you blush as you realize it's your discarded bra. He touches it with brief curiosity then lays it on his bedside table, but then his eyes turn to you, appraising. "Although my personal experience is limited, I have read a colloquialism that when a woman chooses matching undergarments, she is hoping they will be seen. Is this true?"

So he did notice. You can't help your shy dimpling smile. "Well, I don't know if it's true across the board, but yeah, it was true for me tonight."

Data's expression goes infinitely soft. "Then you were hoping for the opportunity to undress with me? Even before I expressed any desire to see you unclad?"

"Yeah, Data, I was." You nod and run your fingers over the back of his hand.

"Hmm," he says. There's wonder in his golden eyes. "Intriguing."

You lay together for a quiet time after that, and you feel like you are nearly drifting off when he speaks again, his voice more solemn than before. "Y/N, do you truly believe that you will never grow tired of either myself or our relationship?"

His words draw you back out of your sleepy haze. You cup his cheek. "Sweetheart, I can't promise I'll always feel the exact same way all the time, but no, I'm not going to 'get tired' of you. And I'm absolutely not going to toss you out like yesterday's trash. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, and you least of all."

He closes his eyes briefly, almost as if it is still hard for him to hope for the truth of what you say. When he opens his eyes again, his gaze is still serious. "Y/N, I have never told you about my prior experiences with romantic relationships."

You prop yourself up on your elbow, giving him your full attention. "And you don't ever have to, if you don't want to."

He considers this for a moment, then nods decisively. "I believe I would like for you to know. Yes, I am certain of it."

He reaches out and twines one lock of your hair around his finger. He plays with it gently as he speaks, and you're struck by what a human gesture it is. "I have told you that at the Academy, I struggled greatly to make connections with my human classmates. Some were simply uncomfortable with the presence of an artificial being, while others behaved in a way towards me that I have since come to realize was cruelty."

His fingers twist round and round the lock of your hair. "In my second year at the Academy, I was invited by one of my classmates who was less afraid of me to attend a party of sorts. Although I was aware that such events happened regularly, I myself had never had the opportunity to attend one, and I was deeply curious by the invitation and so I agreed. I do not know that I could say that I enjoyed myself, but I found the experience intriguing. It was also the first time I had imbibed alcohol, which I found fascinating, despite my inability to become inebriated.

"Partway through the event, a young woman began speaking to me. Replaying the memory, I am quite certain that her behavior would have been considered flirtatious, though at the time I was simply pleased that someone wished to speak to me. I remember that she kept touching me – my arm, my shoulders, my chest. Most humans avoided touching me; it was most interesting."

He pauses briefly. "As the party goers began to disperse, this young woman invited me to accompany her back to her quarters, informing me that her roommate was away studying. I consented and returned with her to her quarters where she proceeded to make her full intentions towards me known. Although I had been activated for five years at that point, I had yet to experience anything of a sexual or romantic nature, and I found myself intrigued by the opportunity she offered me and agreed. I was eager to explore my sexual programming, and I did the best I knew how to please her as well as I could and did everything she requested of me. As best as I could tell, I was successful.

"However, after our coupling, she informed me that she wished for me to leave immediately, and when I required why – seeking to understand if I had offended her in some manner – she refused to explain. I asked if she would ever wish to repeat our intimacy, to which she began to laugh, a reaction I could not reconcile with my question. I saw no cause for humor in any of my words or actions and so inquired what it was that she found humorous."

He releases the lock of your hair. "She told me it was my 'gullibility" that she found so amusing. She then informed me that at the party, she and her friends had been observing me and discussing my android nature. The topic of my sexuality and my anatomy came up and a bet was made that involved the transfer of class credits to anyone in the group who was willing to 'fuck the robot'." The crude word sounds even uglier on Data's gentle lips and all the more harsh for the dead monotone of his voice. "She informed me that she had agree to 'take one for the group' because she needed the credits to pass a critical class and because I was 'decently attractive.' She then told me not to contact her ever again, after which she shut the door in my face."

You can't remember a time in your life when you've wanted to track someone down and beat them to a bloody pulp quite as badly as you do right now. "Oh Data," you say, "oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry that happened to you. What an absolute waste of a human being. I'm so sorry."

He clasps your hand. "I thank you for your concern, but I assure you that I am all right."

From some of the self-depreciating comments he's revealed to you tonight, you're not sure that's entirely true, but you give him the benefit of the doubt.

He continues holding your hand, his thumb rubbing slowly back and forth over your knuckles. "Most recently, several years ago, I became involved in a romantic relationship with a lieutenant aboard the Enterprise. She initially expressed affections for me, and I decided I wished to explore the possibilities of a relationship with her. It was for her that I first developed the romantic subroutine which I have since modified for you."

"What happened?" you ask.

"Our relationship only lasted several days. Although initially she showed great enthusiasm towards me, she quickly became frustrated with my lack of understanding about romance and my inability to express emotion. I was unable to provide her with the emotional satisfaction she desired, and she quickly grew tired of me and initiated the termination of our couplehood several days later."

"Well, she missed out, didn't she?" you say more than a little indignantly, trying to imagine how anyone could be dissatisfied with Data's sweet, attentive, eager-to-learn nature. You snuggle against his chest. "But I guess if she'd had two active brain cells and been smart enough to know just who she'd had, I wouldn't have had the chance to get you all to myself," you tease, rubbing your nose up against his.

He nuzzles you back. "That is indeed a positive outcome from the experience." He goes quiet again, this time for a longer stretch, and the feeling of deep melancholy grows heavier around him again. "I had a third romantic encounter," he says in a very quiet voice, "which took place between the other two. I did, however, make the promise not to reveal the details of that encounter with anyone, which I wish to honor. I will only say that the experience was deeply special to me and the person I shared it with was someone I cared for greatly and respected. I believed the experience to be equally special to the one I shared it with, and I thought I had successfully pleased her and done everything she needed and wanted of me."

He pauses, and there's a weight like gravity in that silence. "Evidently, I was mistaken, for the next time I saw her, she expressed both anger and unhappiness at our encounter and requested that I behave as if it had never happened. We never spoke of it again, and to this day, I do not know what I did wrong to provoke such emotions from her."

You remember the time you'd come to his quarters early for a date and found him sitting at his desk, staring silently at a small blue holographic figure sitting directly before him. He'd turned it off as soon as he saw you and rose to greet you, but you remember the look on his face. As he's speaking, in your heart, you know, though he doesn't need to know that you do. You don't have it in you to feel angry or jealous of her, not knowing how much she clearly meant to Data the few times he's spoken of her to you and knowing what happened to her; you simply feel a deep ache for him.

He is quiet and still for a long moment. "Based on these three encounters, I reached the logical conclusion that I was faulty and that when my partner has received everything from me which they are able, I am…discardable."

You slip your arms around him and pull him close, pressing your face tenderly to his neck. To your slight surprise, you find tears trickling down your cheeks as you hold him. "You're not discardable, Data. And that's not the only logical conclusion. There's also the much more logical conclusion that all three of them were just massive jerks to you."

He cradles you back. "I suppose that is one conclusion that could also be made, though in all three encounters, I was the common denominator. This indicates that the problem most likely lies with me."

"But now you can factor me in," you say. "And I promise I'll never treat you like that, Data."

"Yes," he answers softly, "yes, I believe you are speaking the truth. I do not believe now that you would ever treat me those ways."

You hold each other a while longer, and you are very pleasantly aware of your bodies pressing together under the blankets. But you begin to feel drowsy again and start to push yourself up and away. "I should probably get dressed and head back to my quarters, or I'm going to end up falling asleep right here in your bed."

To your surprise, Data keeps his arms around you, stopping you from pulling away. When you look back at him, there's an devout plaintiveness to his expression. "I fail to see a downside to that possibility," he answers. When you gape at him a little owlishly, he elaborates. "You may stay here with me." He glances at you coyly. "That is, if you desire to. I am not required on the Bridge until morning."

You look down into his earnest face and practically melt back down onto the bed. The two of you cuddle up together: arms wrapped around each other, legs entwined, bare chests pressed close. You sigh deeply and tuck your head under his chin, your breathing slowing peacefully. The bed bounces slightly as Spot jumps up to join you. She makes a couple rotations, then settles between you and Data's legs, her back pressed to Data's shin and her front paws and chin resting on your calf. Everything is warm and peaceful and perfect.

"Happy birthday, Data," you murmur.

He kisses your forehead in response.

Juliana was right. This was exactly what you both needed – this evening of shared trust and sweet new passions – you feel it deep in your soul, and you know that both of you are better for having shared this experience together.

A sudden thought flashes through your mind, and you open an eye with a slight grin. "So Data," you whisper, "what's the story about you streaking some colonists?"

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A/N: Want to see a picture I drew of Data in his body jewelry? You can see it here. Enjoy ;)

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