#I fucking love hatchlings and they were on screen for less than a minute or so

[mocacheezy]

Things that made watching Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen easier and even enjoyable:

🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🥄🔪🍴🥄

Okay, first of all I have to share a couple of screenshots where I went "Damn, this looks beautiful" (I bet it looks even better in HD)

Like really, she looks gorgeous, this was such a gorgeous shot like. Woah.

Okay the scenery! Just woah. Even before the Primes come on screen! Like it's gorgeous!

If I didn't know this was from the movie I could easily imagine this being a stock image that you find when you search for "lovers, embrace, sunset, orange". A really gorgeous image.

Optimus. Oh, Optimus Prime. He's mighty fine.

How gruesome the fights were.

Like listen, we see Optimus bleed pink energon. I think Jetfire bled blue. When Ravage got his spine torn out by Bumblebee (LIKE DAMN! WHAT?! THAT WAS SUCH A SHOCK TO ME???) his energon was green, as well as some other Decepticons.

The twins introduction

An ICE CREAM TRUCK! I was laughing at the decals and stuff, it was great. I was kind of surprised they were twins and not just one very grumpy autobot. Honestly wanted to see more of the ice cream truck shenanigans and was slightly surprised at how easy it is for these guys to change altmodes. It's like putting on a different set of clothes... No idea how their machinery handles drastic changes bit hey, not going there.

This gorgeous woman, whose kisses apparently taste like diesel

Alien fuckers, stand up, and look at the beauty. "What that tongue do?" gets a whole new meaning woth this lady. She'll blow your mind.

This dude getting a heaping of "fuck you for being an asshole".

Like, even if his/his supperiors reasons for being vary were justified (though the autobots should've proven themself trustworth because of the stuff that went down in the first movie), he really didn't have to be so shitty and entitled about delivering the message and answering questions. Loved how Lennox scared him shitless and caused him to yeet himself out all on his own. I hope he got peed on by a goat. ^u^

Just the general contrast of the respect/disrespect towards transformers.

Listen, when Optimus dies and the helicopters hauling his body back to the hangars drop him to the floor like a sack of potatoes... I'm sorry, but I did find it funny, like. In death, it doesn't matter if you're the leader of Autobots or Decepticons, there will be no respect for you from the military.

And then you have Lennox and his team giving Prime his own giant af parachute. Like look at this:

(now that I think of it, that could've just been because they couldn't safely land, but let a girl be optimistic aight? They care for the big guy and have respect for his corpse.)

The Tomb of Primes

Favourite shot.

It looked both haunting and awe inspiring and seeing the Matrix actually crumble in Sam's hands? Yeah, I was actually worried. Actually kind of shocked. I also didn't know how they'll get this revival metal pixie dust into Optimus, and if they even will be able to get it from that sock (A SOCK! I mean there wasn't much on hand but A SOCK?! I am chuckling, the fate of the last Prime, held in a piece of fabric that was on a human's foot. Beautiful.)

Megatron and his ressurection and servitude AND LOOK AND THAT HE LISTENS TO STARSCREAM?! TO STARSCREAM?!?!

First things first, I love that we see a Decepticon medic and his team go underwater, to the point that is "too cold" and the millitary deemed unaccessible (I don't blame them but it's still hilarious), that we see the guy go "yeah tear up the small one for spare parts" and see the repair process. Like. Megatron is already getting covered by algae, he is rusting (he was rusted before, but salt water REALLY isn't helping his complexion), but somehow this medic managed to patch him up enough that the guy shoots out of the water, flies STRAIGHT to Cybertron and returns to Earth. Apparently his name is Scalpel. He deserves a BestMedic Award.

The way Megatron spoke to Sam? Yes, prepare a coffin, but oooooooooh that voice. Again, chills. Chillsssssssss. The way he spoke is literally "You are in so much fucking trouble and I will snap in just a moment". It's the "You will regret being born." kind of soft voice. I think he actually said that and yes, 'twas amazing.

The way of speakinh kind of reminded me of Megan for a moment. And it's weird saying that, given that Megatron's VA was Hugo Weaving (first two movies), and not Frank Welker. I was quite shocked by that revelation while I read the credits, because woah... I thought the VA of original Megatron would voice well... Megatron. Since they had him in the movie.

Welker voiced Soundwave however (+ a bunch of the other characters) and it was amazing. Loved the satellite man's design too, 10/10.

Megatron being an apprentice of The Fallen? Now THAT, that was both strange and amazing. I also wonder if that would make Starscream Megatron's apprentice? Because it doesn't seem like it, but hey, what do I know, maybe Fallen would also smack around Megatron if he had the strenght.

But also, Starscream talking to Megatron after the Fallen falls again for good. (that was SO BRUTAL, like Optimus? Congratulations that was horrifying).

Sometimes cowards do win, whatever you say Screamo, just get your master the fuck out of here. AND HE DID!! Like, MEGATRON listened to Starscream. STARSCREAM!!!

I have watched 3 continuities so far (or well, Cyberverse is in process), and Starscream is not someone Megatron listens to. Ever.

The times he does usually end up in disaster (looking at you TFA Megs, you idiot, the space duck planted a bomb on your back you imbecile-), so seeing him not only listen to Starscream, but listen to Starscream saying that cowards flee, aka that Megatron is a coward by listening to Starscream... I am pretty sure Megatron seeing his master and one of the last Primes killed by his once-brother shook him enough that he was kind of registering stuff somewhere far away.

It's great.

Hatchlings aka Cybertronians do reproduce and it is via fluid filled slimy egg sacks

Now I wasn't able to pay much attention because

1. It took me around 3 to 4 weeks to finish the movie (my attention span has been bitchy and the movie DOES last 2h 30minutes)

2. There was The Fallen, Megatron and Plot happening.

3. Despite lasting 2h and 30minutes, there is so much happening I just nodded along going "Aight, that's a thing, aight aight" during most of the movie. No process, giant robot punch punch.

But anyways, I love that there are hatchlings, I wonder if this is where the Sparkling originate from. (because to my knowledge - that is remember from a friend talking about a comic/book where transformers mitosis was a thing - that and the Allspark are the only ways we know of them reproducing up to this point? There's also the Quintessons, but I don't know enough about them to say that for certain. Pretty sure they were the ones to make G1 transformers tho. Again, need to actually watch G1, this is all knowledge I kind of remember.)

If it is, thanks Bayverse, this is why there's so much good mechpreg AND variety in carrying! I remember reading a really good fic where the sparkling split from OP's spark and crawled out and to the first port he could to feed on energon. It was completely different than most sparkling fics and I loved it. Alien, just like Cybertronians are <3

I was also surprised the Autobots never mentioned their young? Then again, that would probably not put the military to rest in regards to fear over their planet being taken over.

But anyways, HATCHLINGS! Give me some cute imagery of the little ones! They did look cute for that one second we saw them.

The difference in Decepticons faces vs Autobots

Including the "good guys have color, bad guys don't" advantage, the Autobots have more human looking features on their faces. If it was done simply to put humans at ease, or if it is something that's just connected with how Matrix forms certain Cybertronians, doesn't matter, but the 'Cons still look gorgeous.

This movie serves both sides of the humanoid-alien-robot-fuckers: Humanoid, distinctive features, not many sharp edges (Autobots), insect-like/in-human looking features that blend together because of lack of color. Many sharp edges, very much alien (Decepticons).

I do find it surprising that Megatron looks, at least face design wise, more Autobot than Decepticon. Then again, he is old, Jetfire also had a more "human" looking face. Could be evolutionary trend?

All 'Cons have salivating problems. I find that amusing.

Scalpel, I have praised you before, please tutor some of the soldiers and find a way to minimize the amount of oral lubricant going to waste. Death by overheating of systems is not how a Decepticon warrior should offline.

Wheelie and Mikaela

Look look look, forst of all Mikaela was such a badass. She was amazing. I loved nearly every moment she was on screen, and the way she handled this lil shit? Amazing.

I also love the way she baby-talk-threatened him. Granted, no idea how she found him humping her leg cute, but hey. Our girl is amazing, she can joke, she can look Megatron in the eye while her boyfriend is being addressed and listening to command of said huge Alien that is much closer to her than to her boyfriend.

This woman has it all, but seeing Wheelie interact with her? Now THAT was just a fun time.

Where did Wheelie go though? I don't remember when he got lost, I hope the lil fella finds a good home.

Or maybe he got eaten by Devastator.

Devastator

Your pants are not stain free if you see this guy in person. The transformation AND design were awesome, I do wish we heard him speak though.

Then again, english for the Autobots, Decepticons are too proud (and their language too pretty to be ignored)

I am pretty sure this is all, I might be missing some things. It was entertaining, it was long, it was strange and gruesome without being too disgusting, and we got

✨ HATCHLINGS! ✨

No, I will not shut up about them, why do you ask?

[salvaation]

Hiya, I was wondering if you could do a Lamia Sans x Reader thing? Maybe reader gets injured and Lamia Sans takes them in to heal them? I haven't seen many lamia fics recently ^^' ~Tima

Of course love! Here you go.

Your ankle was throbbing, bent awkwardly from how your foot was stuck between two tree roots. You’d been walking through the woods, listening to the animals and enjoying yourself without watching where you were going. Because of that, you’d stepped wrong, and had twisted your ankle when your foot was caught.

Not only were you stuck and injured, but it was getting dark too. You pulled out your phone to call one of your friends to come get you, but you’d wandered so far there wasn’t any service. A disgusted snort showed your discontent as you irritably shoved the phone back in your pocket.

The warmth of the afternoon was fading quickly with the light, leaving you shivering in your light jacket and t-shirt as you stared through the shadow, hoping that maybe someone had noticed your absence and would come looking.

Something rustled in the bushes, startling you out of your thoughts. You fumbled for your phone, trying to turn the flashlight on, but your hands were shaking and you dropped it, the dim light of the screen disappearing from view as it fell.

“Shit!” you cursed under your breath, before more rustling made you look up, fear prickling down your spine. “Who’s there?”

No reply. You waited for a few seconds, staring blankly in the darkness before turning back to your foot and trying to pull free. A pained gasp escaped you when you moved your leg wrong, tears springing up in your eyes from the jolt of pain that burst through your ankle.

The rustling was closer now, accompanied by an odd, quiet clicking that made your hair stand on end. It wasn’t like you’d never spent a night in the woods, but camping was a very different experience from being trapped alone in the dark with no light or way to call for help.

You were so busy trying to find what had been making the noise that you almost didn’t notice the warm breath of air against your back.

You yelped, turning to look behind you, but you couldn’t see anything. It couldn’t have been that late yet, but the thick canopy of leaves blocked out most of the remaining light, leaving you blind and trapped, shivering in the cool of evening.

Something touched your foot and you shrieked, kicking at it with your uninjured leg in hopes of driving it off. No such luck, though. A massive hand clamped over your mouth, muffling your cries as you clawed at it frantically. Whatever had grabbed you, it was huge, its hand covering the bottom half of your face and then some. It could probably throw you around like a doll if it wanted.

The thought made you go faint, sagging limply as you let out scared whimpers, the pathetic sound barely making it past the hand on your face.

“There we go, see? Just be quiet, alright, I’m gonna take a look at that leg of yours - it’s hurt pretty bad.” A voice from behind you said. You stiffened, eyes widening as another frightened whine slipped from you. Slowly, the hand lifted from your mouth, allowing you to breathe easier.

“Don’t make a sound now, it’s not a good idea to attract attention in these woods at night. You’re lucky I’m the one that found you, or I doubt you’d still be here to have this conversation.” The owner of the voice had moved, accompanied by a sound like skin rubbing against itself - or scales, you thought. Maybe it was a giant snake or something.

Wait, snakes don’t have hands. Nevermind.

A hand gently touched your leg, and you suppressed a pained cry as it prodded carefully at your twisted ankle. A few minutes of silence passed, before you heard wood snapping and the pressure on your foot vanished.

“You won’t be able to walk on that for a few days, but don’t worry. I’ll take you back to my home, so I can keep an eye on it.”

The thought of going to some stranger’s house in the middle of the night frightened you, especially since you hadn’t even seen the person who’d been helping you. And the fact that he - the voice was deep, it sounded masculine to you - was out wandering in the woods at night just seemed more suspicious.

“I’m not trying to kidnap you or anything, really. But it’s not a good idea to wander around out here, it won’t end well, even if you could walk.”

“You know that sounds exactly what something a kidnapper or serial killer or something would say.” You retorted, wrapping your arms around yourself and shivering as a cold breeze cut straight through your thin jacket.

“Well it’s either that or die alone out here, so take your pick.”

Ah yes, what a wonderful array of options you had before you. Go with the guy who’d been wandering around in the forest, or try to make it on your own with a bum leg.

“Fine.”

There was that rasping rustle again, from all around you this time.

“Alright. But don’t freak, okay, I don’t want anything smelling you and trying to attack, so I’ve gotta do something a little… unorthodox, you might say.” He sounded almost awkward, voice dropping as if he’d looked away for a moment.

“Whaddya mea- eep!” Your question cut off in a startled squeak as something smooth and cool coiled around you, holding you completely still.

“I really don’t think you want to know the answer to that, so I’m going to ignore the question.” You noticed a dim blue light as he spoke, hovering a few feet above your head. Above the blue glow were two little white dots, glowing like tiny searchlights against the black. It was almost like eyes, you thought as a shudder ran through you. But then what was the blue?

It wasn’t too hard to figure out. The blue appeared again, this time stretching wide a few times before lowering with the eye glows.

“You’re probably gonna wanna close your eyes, and keep your mouth shut.” The way the blue changed shape seemed kind of like a mouth, moving when he spoke.

Oh, that was pretty interesting. Blue insides would be cool.

You closed your eyes then, scrunching your face up in nervous anticipation as his hands took hold of your wrists. You were about to ask what he was doing, when he suddenly pulled your arms over your head, making you yelp in surprise.

“Sorry, but it’s easier with your arms like this. Don’t talk or open your eyes until I say, alright?”

You nodded, tense as you waited for something to happen.

That something was a gross slimy warmth around your hands and forearms, as his grip vanished from your wrists. You made a sound of disgust and tried to pull away, but he grabbed your elbows to keep you from moving.

“What the hell are you doing, this is nasty.” You complained, already forgetting his warning to stay quiet.

“Suh uhp.” He replied, voice muffled oddly - like there was something in his mouth. As he spoke, you felt movement under your hands, that was suspiciously like-

Oh god. Ohhhhh god you were so screwed you were gonna die, for fuck’s sake whatever the hell he was, he was going to eat you!

You screamed, squirming as you tried to pull your arms free from the tight grip of his throat. He growled at you, the little white lights flickering out for a brief moment as he moved his hands to your shoulders.

“Shaw mobin. In nah goma huh ya.” He hummed, making you cringe as you felt his throat flex around your hands. A quick gulp pulled you in up to your elbows, your nose almost touching his face as the white dots seemed focused on you. “Goh goo amihig skuhig, ohay?”

“You mean aside from trusting you?” You squeaked, voice rising in pitch when you felt his tongue against your bicep. Oh god, how did you manage to get yourself into this?

Another low growl was his only response, this one seeming less irritated than before, but he still didn’t stop. His hands slid to your waist, the coils wound around you loosening as he lifted you towards his face. His throat flexed, giving you just a moment of warning before another swallow pulled you further into his maw.

You sputtered, coughing as your face was squished against his tongue. He hummed again, quieter this time, and licked your face. You whined, feeling your heart pounding against your ribs from the adrenaline in your blood, but you couldn’t do anything to escape.

The lightest touch of sharp points tapped your back as he swallowed again, making you go stiff as you suddenly realized he could just bite you in half if he wanted. You wriggled slightly, face squished up against soft blue flesh as you hoped he was telling the truth.

Once he got to your waist it was quick going, as he tilted his head back and gulped once more, gravity sending the rest of your body sliding down. You were squished into a surprisingly large chamber, not big enough for you to stretch out but not so small that you were cramped into a little ball. You heard a faint click from somewhere above, but anything that might have come from outside was muffled behind a steady pulsing that surrounded you.

“Now will you listen to me?” He asked, sounding slightly out of breath. Which would make sense, seeing as he just ate an entire person whole.

“Do I have a choice?” You replied, hugging your arms around yourself as you tried to keep the tears in your eyes from falling.

“Of course, but I’m gonna take that as a yes. Okay, so first off - I’m not gonna hurt you, you’re actually probably safer in there than you were out here. Which, let me cut off the obvious objection of but you friggin ate me, what the hell. Another yes and no answer, being that yes you did pass through a portion of my upper digestive tract, but you’re definitely not in my stomach or anything.” He paused after that, waiting for a reply.

“Okay, I’ll bite. Where the hell am I? Aside from in the forest at night with some freaky creature that I couldn’t even see.”

“Sorry. Forgot humans have terrible night-vision.” He mumbled. “Anyways, you’re in a storage chamber that we have, for protecting hatchlings or whatever we decide to put in there. It allows me to carry you easily and also keep anything else from finding you. But in your particular situation, it will make it easier for me to heal your ankle, since you’re completely surrounded by magic.”

“Bullshit.” You deadpanned.

“I really didn’t expect you to believe me, but it’s true all the same. You’re probably going to feel really tired, since it’s not so much me healing you as me speeding up your own healing, which will take a lotta energy out of you.” As he said so, you were hit with your exhaustion, making it difficult to keep your eyes open. What a coincidence, huh.

“Just rest for now, it’ll make it easier for your ankle to heal.”

A tired mumbling was your only response, as the warmth and softness surrounding you lulled you to sleep.