#I fucking hate you chariot you suck

[zizbombs]

Is there a more useless cape in the bay than triumph?

After much soul searching, wiki browsing and pondering, the answer to that question is yes. Yes there is.

Meet exhibit A: Trevor, AKA Chariot.

The worst fucking tinker to ever live.

Outwardly, very similar to Triumph. Complete mouthbreathing fodder.

What really puts Chariot in 'I would rather have greg veder have this power' tier is the fact that he had so much potential.

Chariot is a movement tinker, one who I cannot stress this enough, HAS ACCESS TO TELEPORTATION TINKERTECH.

TELEPORTATION TINKERTECH.

One more time for the people in the back,

TELEPORTATION.

TINKERTECH.

I could cry, really I could.

So first off, you need to understand just how good his power is. He literally made fucking POWER ARMOR that could go 100 mph with fucking dogshit scraps. Fucking power armor. The only other tinkers with power armor was trainwreck (a guy who's specialty is literally working with scraps) and Armsmaster, who's funded by the protectorate. And this guy just fuckin made some shit in his basement with an oven and a blowtorch or something.

He's got an extra dash of that shardstuff for sure. Also for some reason he just has extra insight into tinkertech? Just added on, for shits and giggles. His shard was forking over the shardbucks to give it's host a head start, too fucking bad it landed on literally the worst person in existence to have a tinker power. even fucking leet would be better than this idiot.

Not only that, he was able to copy trickster's power. Yk, trickster, just the guy with one of the most versatile and powerful powers in a street level setting and even beyond some of that, no biggie. fucking trickster.

This guy could scan movers and copy their powers.

In a world where this guy had a single braincell, he would've joined the protectorate, scanned strider's power and worked with dragon to set up fucking portals all around the united states or something.

Instead, we get this fucking brainlet.

I'm assuming he could also make some sort of neurological implant to speed up his thoughts to keep up with his tech, but thats just another failure of this troglodyte.

I still, I'm still laughing at how utterly fucking stupid this shit is, but one of his gadgets that he made.

So get this, he made a jetpack right, or a flight pack whatever. Guess what this dipshit decides to add in his shit. A fucking bomb. Yeah, he added a bomb in something he was carrying on his back. The reason? As far as im concerned, as a fucking escape route.

Yeah, you heard that right.

The MOVEMENT tinker, put a fucking bomb in their movement gear, to ESCAPE.

???

Unless he had some sort of secret 540000 iq plan to do something else with that bomb, but considering this guy's track record I doubt it. Even then that's fucking stupid. Why are you blowing up your gear? 'Oh hey! I got a great idea! Instead of doing literally anything else, how about I put an EXPLOSIVE right next to me in volatile tinkertech! What a great idea!'

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, this guy triggered about a year before canon start. What was he doing in all of that time?

Literally fucking nothing.

All he did was just ride around at 3 am being a little shithead. A year btw, he did that for a year.

Then he eventually got caught by assault (lol) and was forced to talk to Kid Win. In an incredible play, since Chariot was working for coil and decided to become a rat, got DISCOVERED BEFORE HE EVEN SIGNED THE PAPERS. LOL?

This fucking dipshit was like 'Yeah, they'll never see it coming >:)' meanwhile the PRT had a meeting deciding to fucking just feed this guy faulty information. Can you fucking do anything 😭.

He just was taking L after L.

He's like Leet but he doesn't even have the excuse that his shard hates him.

He's literally Legend's long lost cousin.

no goals, no plans

what are you doing man? 😭

Worst fucking spy on the planet.

Literal shithead kid waking people up at 3 am going on joyrides, which would be based if he wasn't so stupid. Such a cool power too, definition of wasted potential. I just agh.

WHY DO YOU GET. LIKE. UNDERSTANDING OF OTHER TINKERS SHIT. JUST TACKED ON. WHY ARE YOU BUILT FOR COLLABS AND YOU DO NOTHING.

Only fucking this guy could take a teleportation tinker spec and be absolute fodder.

Im still laughing at the bomb shit. Why is your first thought as a movement tinker to put a fucking bomb inside of your tech. Like what? Instead of literally making anything else. Are you fucking stupid? Yes you are, you are stupid. Even if it wasn't an escape plan (still can't believe it WORKED as an escape plan.) Like, what are you gonna do, throw your shit at the guy your fighting then stumble away because you blew up all of your shit. This fucking guy.

Anyway, stay tuned for more hating.

[goatpaste]

What do you think is the biggest design miss that araki made?

Sigh.. I'm actually just kind of a suckered and actually don't hate a lot of arakis designs

Their whack and crazy! But I like them their fun to draw

But to have a list of some of my least favirote design choices from araki lol

Blonde santana was so nasty

The World. It's probably one of my least davirote stand designs..

Dios nasty powered up look at the end of part 3, he looks like someone's drugged up granny who got let loose into the sephora for the girls on duty to do whatever to

I love shigechi but what the fick is going on with his head man...

Hazamada having a design I enjoy while being a nasty fuckin guy...

Fugo is a design that I hate the way araki draws his hair mostly because I can tell what he was tryna do, but fuckin sucked at it

GER is also such a huge disappointment as a design especially after getting treated to Silver Chariots beautiful swag requiem. I feel like araki wanted a specific vibe with it and it just didn't hit the mark

Diavolos whole cucking design tbh, I really don't like it. But the fact that his tattoos are based on a cute netted top is so sad because araki fucking sucks are drawing tattoos so fucking much, he shoulda just kept it as a mesh top...

Not really a design element, but arakis whole fatphobia and not seemingly to be able to draw fat characters as not evil or a joke. Because I hate to say it, araki has shown clear skills in being able to draw fat people and do a good job that looks good! But he doesn't seem to know how to be normal and treat fat people like normal enjoyable characters

OK THIS OKE HURTS THE MOST TO SAY IM SO SORRY BUT.... emres fucking outfit yall. I think it sucks so hard what the ever loving fuck is she wearing yall.. the elf tunic with the sweater vest and sweat pants... she's so nicely put togeather from the neck up.

... I just dont really like diver downs design.. sorry or whatever lol

Araki slimming down and making hot pants smaller and curvier as SBR went on...

Giving mountain tim such a sick awesome design only to make him suck at the very last second

In a silent way was just bad, like that's not a hard point to make it was a bad call

Ok... I take a lot of love with fucked up designs that I acknowledge as being typical 'weird fucked up designs araki has done' and actually love them... but what the fuck is up with Poor Tom like... holy shit what is this look...

The schott keys stands just kinda sucked. They were boring and ones a farther in a soccer ball. The aphex twins chapters some of my least fav jjl chapters sorry they just weren't very fun

And lastly one more sorry to women's and stuff.. but dragons tattoos also suck yall. Araki like 80% of the time is just the worst tattoo designer imo I think their just not very good. I like parts of it but as a full design I'm like.. it's not my favirote

[arcplaysgames]

(I don't actually know if Strikers does anything with tarot but anyway) Which game, as a whole, do you think uses the tarot theming the best? Whether it be individual arcana assignments or links to the plot or just vibes - I know you've spoken of inidividual S-Link meanings but I don't think a big-picture comparison was ever done.

hmmm okay lets do a basic round up

I am going to... give points

+ 2 (GREAT job) + 1 (They tried!) + 0 (phoned it in/makes no sense) - 1 (ACTIVELY BAD CHOICE)

Fool: SEES (P3) vs Investigation Team (P4) vs Notigor (P5) Gonna give P3 and P4 0 points bc these do nothing, but P5 gets -1 bc what the fuck

Magician: Junpei Iori (P3) vs Yosuke Hanamura (P4) vs Morgana (P5) Both P3 and P5 get +2 for AMAZING Magicians. P4 gets a 0.

High Priestess: Fuuka (P3) vs Yukiko (P4) vs Makoto (P5) P3 gets the +2 here. P4 gets a -1, Yukiko is a terrible choice. No opinion on Makoto but she doesn't seem like the right pick imo.

Empress: Mitsuru (P3) vs Margaret (P4) vs Haru (P5) I'll give P4 one point and P5 two points. Mits shoulda been Emperor.

Emperor: StuCo Guy (P3) vs Kanji (P4) vs Yusuke (P5) P4 gets +2 for a shockingly good Emperor. P5 gets a -1 for a shockingly bad Emperor.

Hierophant: Old Couple (P3) vs Dojima (P4) vs Sojiro (P5) P3 gets -1 and should feel lucky its only minus one. P4 and P5 get zero points.

Lovers: Yukari (P3) vs Rise (P4) vs Ann (P5) P3 gets the +2, P4 gets +1, P5 gets zero.

Chariot: Rio (P3) vs Chie (P4) vs Ryuji (P5) Everyone gets +1.

Strength: Koromaru (P3) vs Athletes (P4) vs Twin Wardens (P5) P3 gets +1, P4 gets fucking nothing, and P5 gets +2.

Hermit: Saori (P3) vs The Fox (P4) vs Futaba (P5) P3 gets +1, P4 gets -1 bc no that's not what Hermit is, and P5 gets +2 for nailing it.

Fortune: Ryoji (P3) vs Naoto (P4) vs Chihaya (P5) No points, everyone see me after class. Actually, no. P4 and P5 get -1.

Justice: Ken (P3) vs Nanako (P4) vs Akechi (P5) I AM GOING TO GIVE P5 +3 FOR AKECHI, FOR THE FIRST TIME PERSONA FUCKING DID ANYTHING WITH THE JUSTICE ARCANA. AND BOY THEY DID STUFF.

Hanged Man: Maiko (P3) vs Naoki??? (P4) vs Iwai (P5) P3 you get a -1, see me after class. Zero for the others.

Death: Pharos (P3) vs I HAVE NO IDEA (P4) vs Tae (P5) I refuse to give Pharos points, so fucking basic. P5 can have a point.

Temperance: UGH NO (P3) vs uh whoops (P4) vs Kawakami (P5) P3 what the fuck -1, +1 to P4 bc its boring but it fits, and Kawakami gets +2 for fucking nailing it.

Devil: Pres Tanaka (P3) vs that nurse??? (P4) vs Ohya (P5) I'm gonna skip this one bc I don't think I know enough about P4 and P5's to rate. And Tanaka fits but is just Fine. +0 to all.

Tower: Cool Monk (P3) vs uuuuh idk (P4) vs whoops x 2 (P5) Honestly, same as Devil. No points.

Star: Akihiko (P3) vs Teddie (P4) vs Hifumi (P5) FUCKING PLUS 3 TO TEDDIE FOR BEING A TREMENDOUS STAR. +1 to P3 for Akihiko. 0 to P5 bc I don't get the angle.

Moon: Shinjiro (P3) vs that one girl (P4) vs Mishima (P5) Fuck Mishimia. He's an amazing Moon. +2 to P5, zero to the others.

Sun: Akinari (P3) vs Yumi (P4) vs Yoshida (P5) -1 to P4 bc the Sun link sucks. +2 to P3 and P5 for AMAZING Sun links. Yoshida may be the most nuanced take on any NPC's Arcana.

Judgement: Nyx Squad (P3) vs Truth Dudes (P4) vs Sae (P5) P5 gets +1 bc at least they fucking tried, P3 and P4 were just tagged on and superfluous.

World/Universe: Reverie III vs Reverie IV vs Reverie V Reverie The Fourth loses HARD here bc the point of the World is coming to the end of a journey and being changed for it and he doesn't have enough personality to be changed. -1 to P4 Reverie the Third is a decent one who went through a lot and has enough personal stakes that I buy it. +1 to P3 I hate to say it but Reverie the Fifth gets +2. He feels the most complete of them all, so for the Arcana of Completion, or the Whole, it has to be him.

Okay I have no idea what that tallies up to, lemme see.

Persona 3: 10 points Persona 4: 4 points (OUCH) Persona 5: 19 FUCKING POINTS WOW THAT ISN'T EVEN CLOSE

My math might be wrong bc I suck at math (yay, dyscalculia) but that is a huge margin for error.

Honestly, makes sense. Like I said in the post-mortem, P5 succeeds in a lot of ways just for having actual adults available for the arcanas. P4 and P3 are so strongly limited to your classmates, there is only so many ways to make a high school student wacky and weird in a way congruent to their Arcana.

P5 has the worst Emperor in the series by far but it has the best Justice easily and possibly the best Sun and honestly a lot of the NPC SLinks are Just Really Good.

So yeah, P5 wins at something at last.

[s-che]

for the tarot rpg ask game! The Fool, The Empress, The Hierophant, The Chariot, The Hanged Man, The Devil, The Tower, The Star, The Sun

This is so many questions!! I am gonna have to go a little shorter for each of them, but thank you for your interests lmao.

from the RPG Designer tarot ask game

The Fool – What do the earliest stages of work on a game look like for you? OR How did you get into game design?

Games start one of two ways for me: either I think "there should be a game that feels like X" or I think "I want to write about Y and I think for one reason or another a game is a place to do it." That second option is usually just the first option wearing sunglasses, anyway — since the main reason I might write something as a game (rather than a poem, short story, etc) is to try and get that experiential edge, where I'm not just conveying what I'm thinking to you but you the reader/player can dig around in it (and see why I feel a way about something). Then I start writing. Usually pretty freeform. Lots of lists of things. Lots of stream of consciousness "I want it to do this so therefore it must include that" until I start to get a better picture of what the game is going to be.

The Empress — Where do your ideas come from? OR Do you seek out or avoid inspiration while working on an idea?

I love nothing more than to dig into an inspiration while I'm working on a project. I like to surround myself with as much aligned stimuli as I can — recently I've been reading Piranesi and Doug Cowan's Cyberhenge and Drawing Down the Moon and listening to a lot of wizard themed hyperpop, for example. You can guess where I might be going with that. Let me drown in the thing I am thinking about, please.

And then credit my inspirations, of course.

The Hierophant — Who is a fellow game designer you’ve learned a lot from? OR What is a piece of popular wisdom about games you think is nonsense?

This is straying a little bit from the prompt, but: I fucking hate it when people try to frame the TTRPG design world as a family / community / whatever. Shut the fuck up. At TTRPGs best they're a scene and at the worst they're an (unregulated and monopolized) industry. I have communities and families within that, but they're not people I'm going to reach with a tag.

The Chariot — What is the next project you’re planning to start OR What is the next project you’re excited to finish?

I mentioned this in another response, but. I've been thinking a lot about wizards lately. Alchemists. Notetaking. Esoterica. A lot of this is: it's summer and I'm not getting my grad school itch scratched, but I've got something new that I just need to polish up a bit... A game I think y'all sickos would enjoy.

Also a Lemony Snicket thing, but that's another story.

The Hanged Man — What other creative pursuits do you have? OR What current trends in game design are you most interested in?

I think we're due for another hackable and misunderstandable system pretty soon, a la PBTA or BITD or NDNM or whatever. Feels like the cutting edge of design has moved on from those things — while still keeping their lessons in mind — and we just need something to blow up in the right way that we end up coining a new term for it. I can feel it coming, I'm just not sure where.

Oh, and One D&D launch is gonna be a mess. The post-CR D&D boom hasn't had to live through an edition change yet. No idea what that's gonna look like, but I can't wait.

The Devil — What motifs or mechanics do you just keep coming back to? OR What is a game you’ve enjoyed playing in the last year?

I played some Wizard's Grimoire (issue 1, but all of them look cool as shit) with a friend recently. Good game for laying on a couch and daydreaming magic boys.

The Tower — Talk about about a game you tried to make that crashed and burned.

When I was maybe a freshman in college — in fact I can remember working on it in 2017 — I wanted to write a PBTA game about paladins of different creeds slamming into each other. It sucked. I didn't know how to write games yet and it came out looking like worse Dungeon World. I'm glad it doesn't exist anywhere.

Don't write worse Dungeon World, folks.

The Star — Talk about a game you’re working on and what excites you about it.

I've been tinkering with some ideas for a multiple-player one-character Disco Elysium-ish game about plurality and inner dialogues. It's fun to roll around in my head! Not sure if I'll ever end up making it, but thinking about ways to mechanize squabbling for authorial control — i.e. to let you play as several people fighting to front — has been a lot of fun.

The Sun — Talk about a game you’ve made that you’re proud of.

Book of 13 Hours. I did some spells with a friend recently and love them. And I talked to the lake I've been stay next to for the last week or so. Good game. Good magic.

[fullmusicbardsquared]

Ranking Part 5 Stands!

let's gooooo

Gold Experience: okay, i do like ge! i love their little beetle helmet and how it alludes to haruno's hairstyle, but i don't like the green used for the accents in the anime, and the design is a little busy for me. 8/10

Black Sabbath: I LOVE THIS EVIL DEMONIC MUPPET I'M SORRY.. POLPO LOOKS DUMB BUT BLACK SABBATH MAKES UP FOR IT ALL 10/10

Sticky Fingers: i like how sf and bruno share design motifs, like the zippers, gold, and those spike/hairclip things. i think the zipper over sticky fingers's crotch, while possibly a reference to the album, looks fucking stupid and i hate it. it's not as bad as SOME stands, but i still dislike it. 8/10

Moody Blues: omg it's moody blues my best friend moody blues who looks like a star trek alien if star trek had a budget :) we are going to hang out and watch opera together yay! 9/10

Soft Machine: i like soft machine's ability and little claw, but otherwise they're just okay 6/10

Kraftwerk: same with soft machine but more because they're green and it has the coolest ability ever 7/10

Sex Pistols: i.. number five is valid but otherwise i hate looking at these gnomes 4/10

Little Feet: they're not bad? but i feel like goo goo dolls does the shrinkage better, and the hand is too reminiscent of soft machine 5/10

Aerosmith: i love aerosmith but they are just a toy plane.. also the band sucks nards 6.5/10

Man in the Mirror: the studded leather, goggles, and silly beak just work somehow. maybe not a favorite of mine, but very nice 7/10

Purple Haze: purple haze more like perfect haze i just want to kiss them and give them pets on the head and even when i die bc of their virus, well, it was worth it 10/10

Mr. President/Coco Jumbo: it's a turtle with a key what am i supposed to stay T/Turtle

Grateful Dead: this thing is creepy, i know that's the point it's just that i am unnerved by the eyes and tentacle.. things 7/10

Beach Boy: i'm sorry pesci but having an awesome ability doesn't get you that far in a ranking :( 4/10

Babyface, laptop edition: look i'm just gonna come out and say it. babyface as a laptop is perfection. the purple? the little face? it looks like something out of an old science fiction magazine in the best way possible! the only flaw is that it doesn't have any silly science stickers, and that's because araki was a coward. 9/10

Babyface, homunculus edition: it's meant to look like an evil echoes act 3. it does. it also looks like a grape flavored echoes. what am i supposed to say. 6/10

White Album: the concept of a kitty-cat ice skater armor onesie sounds so stupid but white album ends up amazing <3 i wish the green and purple were the same color, or less bright, maybe a red similar to ghiaccio's glasses? but whatever 8.5/10

King Crimson: king crimson is so beautiful he's too good for diavolo he should just leave. also the white-on-red pattern seems to be based off the discipline album which everyone should listen to so thanks araki :0:-D 9/10

Clash: it's a teleporting shark who fights the law 10/10

Talking Head: yesss speech control cephalopod beast :) also i like how it needs clash to infect someone, symbiosis at its finest 10/10

Notorious B.I.G: look at them

10/10

Spice Girl: weirds me out how they have chest protrusions, but otherwise they're amazing.. i like pink ok 9/10

Epitaph: :o 8/10

Metallica: they're so cute guys they look like little cartoon ghosts 9/10

Green Day: oh green day.. why did you get cioccolata? you'd be great if it were anyone else. that dress in that one game is so perfect btw 7/10

Oasis: they're nice i guess 5/10

CHR: builds on silver chariot's design and the mozart legend in an excellent way, while looking great on its own! 9/10

GER: it looks like a biblical angel fused with a beetle. 8/10

Rolling Stones: i mean? it represents a lot in the plot but, it's just a rock sculpture. 6.5/10

[its-kall-the-clown]

14 Fluff for Red Son realizing he's nursing a crush on MK

As some context this is post redemption for the demon bull family. So Mei, MK, and Red hang out a lot together now. Red Son is also an idiot. XD

Also this isn’t my most polished work so sorry if it feels rushed.

prompt list

Stop that!! (Don't stop)

Rating: PG-13 for implied sexual interactions

"I think I'm sick"

Red Son admits to the ceiling of Mei's room. They were hanging out like they normally did on days MK was training with monkey king. She was playing some sort of retro video game and he was watching till he got bored and lay on her bed thinking.

"You got a tummy ache?" Mei teased, pausing her game and he huffs rolling his eyes, and sits up.

"Don't be ridiculous" he huffs out and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Okayyyy so what're the symptoms." Mei crawls from her spot on the floor and joins him in bed, sitting crisscrossed with her hand in her lap, and leaning forward eagerly.

"It's hard to explain… sometimes when MK is gone my chest hurts " he places a hand over his heart that was beating normally at the moment.

"And sometimes, when he's around, my hands get sweaty and it feels like I'm gonna throw up and…." He watches a wide unlearning Cheshire grin grow across his friend's face. He continues on, albeit, a bit more hesitantly.

"And….sometimes I can't talk right, and sometimes when he IS around my chest hurts also?" Mei was grinning so wide she was more teeth than she was girl.

"Why are you smiling…."

"OMFG!!?? You have a crush on Mk?!!!" She squeaks excitedly and rolls around in her back as she descends into what Red can only describe as absolute madness.

"What are you talking about??!" He sputters, Mei giggles a bit longer before finally pulling together and greeting him with a wide grin.

"Dude. Your like SO gay for him. 'My HeARt hUrTs WhEn hE’s not arOuNdddd~ " she mocks him in a fake tone and he growls hitting her with a pillow..

"Stop that!" He growls.

"SToP ThAt~" she mocks back and they devolve into a pillow fight on her bed. He girns when he hits her smug face squarely with a dragon stuffie.

Soon they lay panting on her bed and the dragon girl rolls onto her stomach poking him in the face.

"So. Crushing in MK huh?"

He grows beat red again and pulls a pillow into his face and groans.

"You should tell him."

Red son sits up with a smile.

"I should!"

"Yes!!"

"So I can tell him to stop making me sick!"

"Say what now?"

He turns to Mei with a feral smile. This 'crush' or whatever she called it could be fixed. If MK was the one giving it to him. He just needed MK to stop doing...whatever he was doing to make him feel like this.

"Hold on I think you are conf-"

"Thanks Mei!" He gets up and is off to confront the noodle boy as he hears Mei shout at him from her room.

"You're a fucking idiot!!!"

-----------

He storms forward like a typhoon. Red son is a force of nature that can not be stopped, nothing could yield him in his goal or hinder him in his path. Wild horses pulling chariots could not stop him, celestials in heaven would not dare stand in his way, and even his parents (by far the scariest force of all) could not persuade him to rethink what he was doing.

He pushes past the doors to Pigsy's noodles, shoves past patrons and ignores the warning shouts from the pigman.

he had one goal on mind

"Nyyyooodle boy!!!!!!" He bellows grabbing the attention to his problem. Those perfect expression color eyes meet him and the disease in his chest grows. He's in his training clothes, clearly on his way up to his apartment over the shop so he can shower.

Why did the idea of MK showering make his heartbeat erratically? Soft shoulders and cascading water off them…

She shakes his head back and forth now back on track.

"Stop. That." He growls out grinding his teeth together as steam leaves his ears. MK tilts his head slightly. The disease grows more in his chest and he hates it.

"Stop that!!!!" He points directly at MK feeling his hair sputter and spark as his temperature rises. He thinks his face is growing red.

"I'm….not doing anything?" MK gives him a sheepish smile, the kind that quirks up on one side and absolutely obliterates Red Son on the spot.

Like a crunchy fall leaf under the heel of a boot he's crushed.

Whatever motivation he had before it evaporates quicker than a drop of water in the Sahara desert.

"Y-your haven't heard the last of me!!" He makes a quick retreat, stumbling over his own feet and taking out one of Pigsy's tables in the process.

He exits the shop faster than he entered. He needed to regroup and strategize.

-----------

"SoooOOOOOo How'd it go?" Mei asked her eyes not leaving the screen, she's playing a different video game now, and she didn't even spare him a glance when he came back as if she predicted he would fail.

"Horrible!!! All it did was make this sickness worse." He throws his arms up and paces back and forth biting his lip. Mei doesn't pause her game this time, only continuing to mash buttons as he grumbles under his breath.

She lets out A long-suffering sigh and finally pauses her game.

"Dude. I know you're behind on the lingo and stuff but a 'crush' isn't a sickness. It means you like MK. As in you want to kiss him and stuff." she explains with a shrug unpausing her game and the sound of power-ups and pixelated men punching each other continues.

Red Son halts in his tracks

He pictures kissing MK. pressing his lips to the boy's soft adorable lips. He can practically feel the warmth it would produce. He pictures MK smiling into the kiss as they awkwardly bump noses. He pictures holding MK’s hand, squeezing it gently as they walk hand and hand. He imagines the feeling of MK’s hair between his fingers as he runs his hands through it.

He sucks in a gasp, his heart beating out of time.

Of fuck.

“I’m so screwed…..”

He feels Mei patting his shoulder, she paused her game again when he was fantasizing

“Yeah, you are. But at least now you can DO something about it.” she nudges his side and he blushes a bright red and he can hear her chuckling at him

--------------

“Can we talk?”

MK blinks back at him looking back and forth for a moment as if he was confused by his precence. Which to be fair he DID just enter through MK’s window while he was showering and was now waiting for him on his bed.

“Uhhhhh sure?” they rub the last remaining moisture from his hair with a towel before tossing it to the floor to be added to piles of laundry they had yet to do. Red Son didn't even curl his lip up at the slob-like behavior because HOLY SHIT MK IS SHIRTLESS!!!

Of course, MK didn't even seem to care that he was only wearing grey sweatpants in his presence. Red Son guilty looked MK’s chest up and down while they searched for a sleep shirt. Working out with Monkey King has been paying off because MK was sporting some muscle. He also had a few scars from battles that only added to how attractive he was, and of course, there were the two faint top surgery scars under his pecks.

“Is this about your weird episode in the shop today?” they asked pulling him from his guilt ogling and MK pulled a shirt over his body. Damn what a shame.

“Mei says I have something called a ‘crush’ and I should ‘tell them how I feel’ in order to make the pain in my chest go away,” he explained using quotation marks with his fingers to punctuate himself. MK’s eyes widen slightly and then it's schooled quickly. They join Red Son on the bed.

“O-oh? Have you told them?” MK squirms in place and keeps his gaze cast down. He looks uncomfortable, no. he looks upset? Why would MK be upset? Was it because he broke into his room again without permission?

No not that. Although he will have to apologize later

“I’m working on that part,” he explains scooting closer to MK and he grabs one of their hands gently. This felt stupid, and he thinks his sickness will kill him with how quickly his heart is beating. He was terrified and all his symptoms were amplified by ten.

He looks into MK’s espresso-colored eyes looking for something. He loved those eyes. They showed so much in them and he SWORE they could change the whole lighting of a room.

He opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water with his false starts. Eventually, he clears his throat and releases his confession.

“Umm well...MK. I h-have a crush on you.”

he shuts his eyes and waits for the rejection, waits to hear MK laugh with their head back and shove him away.

None of that comes.

He peaks an eye open to find MK’s face a bright scarlet red. Was that a good sign? Or was MK so angry at him that he was just building up anger inside of him like a volcano ready to blow.

“ I w-will leave now.” he pulls away ready to retreat with at least his dignity still in tack. He's pulled back violently and soft lips are smashed to his. He lets out a surprised whimper and absolutely melts into the feeling. His brain is electrified and static all at once.

He kisses back hungrily grabbing MK by the waist and pulls him closer. When they are running out of air only does MK pull away with a little breathless gasp.

“Stay the night?” They requested, placing a soft kiss to the juncture of his neck and he can’t find a single cell in his body that would possibly say no. He nods numbly and MK kisses him again a smile on his lips that he could taste.

----------

“MK GET UP! YOU ARE LATE AGAIN!!”

Pigsy burst down the door jolting the demon awake from his peaceful slumber, his arms that were previously wrapped around MK pull away quickly in the process. He thinks he could stick to the ceiling with his claws like a cat in a cartoon if he jolted just a little higher.

The covers are yanked off them both before Red Son even has time to protest. Thank gods they both put underwear back on when they finished satisfying each other. Red Son is completely and thoroughly exposed to MK’s boss, bitemarks, and hickes across his chest snitching on him.

Red Son and Pigsy meet eyes and he feels a sweat break out across his neck. Pigsy sighs and pinches his snout. He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out through his nose.

“I don't know what happened here... And I don't WANT to know. Tell MK he’s got ten minutes to get downstairs.” Pigsy turns on his heel and leaves slamming the door behind him. Red Son looks over to his now-boyfriend who’s mouth hangs open with drool dripping down his face.

MK slept through all of it.

He can’t help but chuckle and kiss their forehead gently.

[sancoeur]

Hear me out, Diana is a world champion figure skater and Akko has a gay crush.

My @lwasanta gift for @kittykittycatcat01 !! Merry Christmas!

Bonus HCs because um ice gays My sister came up with all of these lmao

Diana's mom was an ice dancer

Akko couldn't skate for shit as a kid bc shitty balance but skated like. Every day and any moment possible in order to be somewhat good

Diana also had to practice A LOT. Ppl called her a prodigy but nope she's just persistent. Akko is just stubborn lol it's a little different

Chariot and Croix are skaters but Chariot always got gold during juniors and Croix got butthurt so she quit after Chariot went to seniors

Chariot retired bc she got old. Like yeah she set some records but she just decided to retire like a normal person?? Ends up as Akko's coach and listens to that girl fangirl every damn day except the girl soooo fucking dense lmao

Akko has high performance scores, Diana has high technical ones

Together they try and learn from each other! It doesn't go well but you know!!!!! Eventually!!!

Chariot/NowUrsula had high performance scores too, but also can jump without mcfreaking dying like Akko does

Akko has a gay celeb crush on Diana. 

Diana lowkey has one on Akko too but it isn't really celeb crush bc Akko isn't really a celeb LMAOUHHHH 

Akko is for Japan, Diana has UK, Lotte is Finland ig?? Wherever the heck they're all from

So. Diana wins all the euros, Akko gets a consistent bronze in the 4cc which is. The four continents. (Asia, Australia, North America/South America???? Africa too??? Basically just NOT Europe)

They met at Worlds (bc Akko never gets to gpf,,, like ever) or a gpf qualifier thing,,,, anyways 

They Will Pretend like they don't admire e/o as skaters bc they fucking STUPID and some sort of misunderstanding happens,,,

Diana thinks Akko thinks that she's another arrogant stuck up skater + hates her

Akko thinks Diana thinks that she's just a nobody skater and doesn't know her at all (haha what a commemorative photo???? Haha)

Screw just having it be YOI, that's boring

Hannah and Barbara are pair skaters that are Diana's rinkmates

Suzy and Lotte exist! They're decent skaters but,,, don't get gold often. 

Amanda is. Good. Probably. She's like,,, getting silver and fucking mad about it.

Did I mention Diana probs gets all golds??? Lmao. Akko WISHES. Says Diana is the next living legend like Chariot but haha no one knows where chariot fucked off too!! No one heard of Hair Dye or Baggy Clothing or Colored Contacts or even Moving Away. Lmao

Andrews dad hates ice skating. Except Andrew enjoys watching the sport. They're still business ppl

Andrew and Diana are neighbors

Let Andrew play piano. (Let him make the music for someone's FS. Yeah I just thought of this all randomly idk why) 

Akko is stubborn as hell and gets to a competitive league through pure spite only. She studied in the US and met Lotte there at the rink. Suzy can skate but doesn't care for competitions as much as others.

Akko and Diana do ballet,,, Akko is impatient tho lmao,, 

Diana is more graceful and flexible but she lacks emotion and heart into the sport (bc after her aunt realizes she got Famous the bitch sucked out all the joy of the sport, man)

Akko just loves skating. A bit competitive but realizes she won't really ever win??? Kinda defeatest outlook rip... But she tries!!! 

So much emotion and performance and tears!!! (She's good at pop/cheerful/upbeat and also SAD SAD TEARSSSS shit. You know.) But cannot jump for shit. She sticks with doubles but like,,,, it's not enough really. (Women can't do quads yet. I think.)

Diana has high combos and sticks with classical music/elegant shit. She doesn't pick her music but she does choreograph it.

Akko meanwhile doesn't have good taste. Literally doesn't know how to choose songs really.

In a fic setting: Akko accidentally somehow makes it into the gpf on a fluke/by accident one year (like... She gets two bronzes or smt) and then diana/akko accidentally offend each other after the comp. 

Wild misunderstandings. After that it's like. Pushing e/o to do better at worlds/ their respective comps of 4cc/euros. 

They both get progressively better as they send e/o passive aggressive critiques and shit. 

They happen to run into e/o at the rink/ballet studio at 4am at worlds and passive aggressively flirt before warming up and becoming friends

Akko actually lands a triple in her FS and Diana fucking gay heart dies

They end up chatting like. All off season/when you prep for the next season

Next season they happen to end up in the same qualifiers for the gpf and train at 4am together again. 

Go on coffee "not dates" lmao. 

Actually secretly dating but neither know it yet.

Pining? So much??? Pining???

 At some point like. Maybe they both got Andrew to make them music for their FS. And their themes and shit match. Bc they are In Tune with e/o and EVERYONE thinks they coordinated but they're just gay and stupid. 

So their themes are like. Love and life (except Diana has life and akko has love and it's the complete OPPOSITE of what they normally do and instead compliment e/o so much it's so gay)

Akko does a romantic gay love song that's like. Eros/violin shit with isn't what she normally does and chariot is just dying In The BG

Diana does more "pop"/ lively themes. It feels more alive ig??? It's more about the feelings,,,

Andrew, Frank, Lotte, + the others that are in the show are just. Trying so hard to wingman bc they're painful to watch. Like. So painful. So very painful.

Diana, jokingly: I only kiss gold Akko: I'll go buy some matching gold rings for good luck that we kiss before performances!! Diana, in gay crisis: sounds totally platonic!!! Haha yeah!!! Amanda, disgusted: that's gay you funky lesbians

[yn-dreamlife]

Jealous Princess

Pairing: Don west x reader

Warnings: Shitty description (because I suck at writing them), angst, mentions/hints of mentions of sex, talks of aftercare, talks of subdrop (not specifically stated but if you know what they are you should be able to know when I'm talking about them), fluff, making up

Description: After the accident on the Resolute you don't think you'll ever see your boyfriend again. So when you do you should be happy, but all you can think of is: why is he calling someone else your nickname?

A/N: Hey guys I'm sorry, I know this wasn't one of the stories- or whatever you want to call these things- that I promised but don't worry I am working on those, but I will do this sometimes if I get an idea that I'm very passionate about. Like I have a Denki story idea that might be coming out soon too.

| Main Masterlist | Random Works Masterlist |

Sadness, that’s all you had felt for what felt like years. But it was a matter of days.

It was a matter of days since something had gone wrong on the resolute.

A matter of days since you sat till the very last moment in your Jupiter before leaving because you couldn’t leave him behind.

A matter of days since you were sure you would never see Don West again.

Done West, the man who held your heart and soul and every single bit in between. The man who you swore to marry. The man who gave you the ring that rests on your finger. The man who you had kissed goodbye for what you feared to be the last time.

But at least you had kissed him, at least you had whispered the soft exchange of ‘I love you’ that morning, at least he had held you in his arms one last time. Because you two had made a deal because you both know space is wild. It’s unknown and danger lies everywhere. You never know what will happen, so you two can never go to bed mad. No matter how angry or annoyed you have to stay up and work through it. And no matter how tired or even if the other is sleeping or busy you never leave without saying goodbye. Because you never know if that’s it.

When you had landed you had landed in a forest-type area, quickly putting up a small parameter of a guard fence to keep things out and assessing your surroundings. It was hard doing things alone. But eventually, you located the Jupiter of the Dhar family so you kept in contact with them but otherwise, you stuck to your own Jupiter.

You did your tasks numbly, no music blasting as you and Don danced around laughing and singing off-key. No random pillow fights or clothes wars as you trashed the Jupiter you two were trying to clean… just silence. And you were drowning.

Then one day you heard the voice, the voice of the resolute captain. Captain Radic, but he couldn’t hear anything back and it was frustrating. You begged that if Don was still up there he would be his stubborn crazy self and force his way to that damn microphone and shout through it and down to you that he was safe, that he was alive. But no call came.

And the day a call did come it was from Dhar, he wanted everyone to report to Jupiter 11 so you got into your chariot and drove there in the silence you now had made home. When you arrived you didn’t smile, your eyes didn’t sparkle and you looked like the walking dead.

A woman named Maureen had checked on you the moment she saw you, offering to take you to her daughter who was a doctor to treat you but when you told her it wouldn’t help she seemed to understand. You did your tasks silently and stuck to yourself ignoring everyone but Dhar who was giving commands.

You were standing above a station then, mindlessly staring off as your hands did the task you had now done for five hours now. It was a minimal thought task, good in the sense that it didn’t matter how lost in thought you got. And bad in the sense it didn’t matter how lost in thought you got. So memories played in your brain. Memories of something you deemed to be lost forever.

And then you heard it “Well hello there princess,” you dropped everything your expression blanking as your mind reeled. You were going insane, you would have to tell someone that you were hearing voices and shouldn’t be working anymore. You would have to-

“What do you want Don?” A female spoke somewhere behind you and you spun around kicking the small rocks up beneath your feet as you did so.

No- it can’t be… “oh what can’t a guy come check up on a friend?” And there he was… Don West the man you had been mourning for days stood before you, breathing, alive, smiling, laughing, talking, teasing- wait…. teasing.

“No not with you. You always want something.” You looked to the girl and you despised yourself for the jealousy that had bubbled over your newfound elation. ‘Had he not seen me? Was he ignoring me? Who was this beautiful young girl? And why was he calling her princess?’

Thoughts swarmed your mind. Fueled by your aching heart, because you had yet to speak to him, yet to hold him and touch him, and yet he seemed perfectly fine about the whole ordeal. Like he didn’t care that you might have been dead.

The woman began walking away moving towards you “oh come on now don’t be like tha-“ but his voice stopped as his eyes hit you. “Princess?” He called and the other woman had the audacity to turn and face him.

“What Don?” But he didn’t answer her, and some part of you enjoyed that. You were never one to get on Don for who he hangs around or what he calls them… but princess is what he called you. It just… stung. It felt like you had been replaced, but perhaps it was just the fragile mindset you had been in for at least a week now due to grief.

“Holy shit.” He whispered as he moved to you quickly a bright grin on his face. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much“ he pulled you into his arms and you found yourself melting into his embrace despite the fact you were somewhat angry, and most certainly jealous. You had so much you wanted to ask, to demand. But it died in your throat as he pulled you to him.

You held onto him as tears began to cascade down your cheeks. He was holding you, he was real, it wasn’t a hallucination. And then he pulled away slightly looking you over. He peppered kisses all over your neck and face. His hands never found purchase on you and you were forced to stand there in shock as the tears continued.

But he didn’t care that your beautiful face was being covered in tears, because he was too wrapped up in the fact it was you. You were alive and real and here and safe. Of course, he never liked to see you cry, but he himself had to have been crying or damn near close to it.

“My princess. My beautiful, beautiful princess, I’ve been so worried I-“ but your hand had moved and before you knew it you had slapped him. Part of you regretted it, part of you was reeling at the thought that you had just hit Don but part of you was angry and oh so very jealous. “Ow, what was that for?!”

“Don’t call me what you just called her.” You growled, and his eyes widened. He always knew how your mindset was even before you did. Always able to tell the sparks of jealousy littering your eyes, and he always knew how to help.

“Wait baby hold on a second-“ he tried to speak quickly making sure to do as you had said and not call you princess. He honestly hadn't even thought about it, about what he had been calling Judy because to him it wasn’t the same as what he called you.

“No, Don” and you pried yourself from his grasp. Realizing you had made a scene you grabbed his hand and pulled him away moving towards the parameter fence.

“Y/n you have to listen to me,” he spoke desperately and you finally stopped a few feet away from the fence turning to face him.

You found yourself then spewing all the horrid thoughts that came to your mind. “Did you even worry? Did you even care that perhaps I was dead? Or the second you lived and made it you decided that it didn’t matter. That this ring didn’t matter, that I didn’t matter! Because hey ‘it’s not cheating if she’s dead’ right?!”

And Don just stood in front of you listening, he didn’t interrupt, he didn’t try to stop you. And when you had moved closer to him still yelling he stood waiting, and when you got in arms-length he grasped you and held you. He held you despite the fact you tried to pound your fist on his chest.

“I hate you!” You screamed as the tears fell once again, “why couldn’t you wait for me?! Why did you move on so quickly?! Don’t you love me?! Wasn’t I enough for you?! Were you not scared?!”

Don held you then too, he held you as you stopped hitting him and your knees buckled. He moved to the ground pulling you into his lap allowing you to let it out. Let out all the anger and sadness and pain he could see you had been holding in.

Because that’s all this was, you know Don and he knows you. You know that yes he did care, that yes he was scared, that yes he was in pain at the thought of losing you. You knew that he hadn’t moved on from you and he wasn’t cheating. You had known the truth to it all. You both knew that, and yet he took it. Because you needed to let it go, let out all the feelings you bottled away and Don was going to let you, like all the times you offered yourself to abate his anger he was now offering himself to you.

It was a long few moments of silence. No exchange of words or half-hearted blows from you. He rocked you gently one hand petting your hair while the other rubbed up and down your lower back your hiccupped sobs becoming less intense.

“I worried about you since the moment I stepped out of our Jupiter that morning.” He whispered. “I worried I would never see you again, that I would never hold you again. I wished I had called out of work and feigned being sick. I wished that I hadn’t let you go that morning.

“All I’ve thought about since I left is you. All I’ve thought about is how I’m going to get to you, or how I’m going to figure out if you’re dead or alive. They told me that everyone was coming here, anyone who was alive would be here and I looked. I looked during the meeting, I looked during instructions and I didn’t see you.

“I lost hope, all I could think is you were dead. You were dead and it was my fault.” He squeezed you tighter to him and you found yourself wanting to speak up but he continued.

“That girl you saw me with, her name is Judy Robinson. She’s a doctor, and she’s eighteen.” Heat flared to your cheeks in shame, she was still practically a child…. you had been jealous of a child. “I called her princess because at first, I thought ‘she’s full of herself, and she thinks she’s better than everyone'. Never once did I mean it the way I do with you. Because there’s a difference, she’s not my princess.”

You found your heart fluttering at his words and you looked up at him, “I’m sorry Don. I just- I don’t know why I reacted like that. I know how… I know how important I am to you.”

He leaned down cupping your cheek, “don’t you ever apologize, beautiful. Emotions are emotions we can’t control them and I’ll always take care of them when they get too much for you. It’s the same situation if you were to fall into a fragile headspace after… well you… you know” and a red color had adorned his cheeks at the thoughts that must have filled his brain.

And he was right whenever you were coming down from a euphoric cocktail of hormones he was there to make it easy and gentle and the one time you accidentally crashed he was there then to. To calm down the emotions and hormones swimming in your mind.

A small giggle had left you and he found himself smiling again. But it dropped as yours did “I’m still sorry Don. I shouldn’t have hit you.”

He shook his head with a chuckle, “I would have hit me too if I thought what you just had been.”

But you shook your head, “I should never hit you… I promise I’ll make it up to you. Maybe later we can…. well you… you know” you mocked his earlier stutter slightly.

He leaned in his lips almost fully connecting with yours whispering, “I’ll hold you to that princess” and then finally pressing his lips to yours.

[vicar-dei]

Elysium in Hades...

Right now I play alot of Hades. Like, I play ALOT of Hades. I really enjoy the game, and I’ve been trying to do a bunch of runs with different weapons. Obviously since I’m ass at the game, I try and fail to do these runs, so I mostly stick to using the bow and the fist weapons. Typically when I fail a run (other than dying to Hades), it’ll be because I died in Elysium.

Don’t get me wrong, Elysium is a nice place. I personally think it’s one of the most visually appealing stages in Hades, and that it has one of the best stage songs as well. On top of that, I really like the dynamic between Zagreus and the main bosses of that area (won’t do too much detail for anyone who doesn’t know). But, there is something I can’t forgive Elysium for. Well, two things actually, two very terrible things.

Fucking Greatshields

AND FUCKING CHARIOTS

Now, I’m well aware that I probably hate these enemies because I’m bad at fighting them. But I don’t care about all that, they suck! Large health pools, large amounts of damage, usually spawn in stupidly large groups making the nightmare even worse. Then you add over shields into the equation, so now you can’t even stun them out of attack animations. Everytime I see a stage that has BOTH, I quickly come to terms with the reality that I’m losing a death defiance on that level. I cannot repeat myself enough, fuck both of these enemies.

On that note, I will end this with a declaration of my unending love for Dionysus in Hades. Seriously, that man is just amazing.

Like, yes please, I will use the hell out of your boons.

[arcplaysgames]

If the Fortune Arcana is literally a fortune teller, I am going to slash some tires. Especially since, like, the point of the fucking Wheel is that you are not in a position to see where it will turn.

Some journalist I've seen for like five minutes makes a deal with Reverie. She'll give a name of the criminal running the scams in Shibuya but she wants access to someone at Shujin who suffered under Kamoshida's abuse.

Which is a shitty deal, so calling it: Devil arcana.

Morgana suggests Mishima for the deal, so, uh

I hate Mishima but this feels terrible. 8C Come on, he's gonna think it's a date and instead someone is gonna ask him about the volleyball coach beating him. This sucks, Persona 5 Royal!!!! I hate this!

And Ryuji gets accosted by... drag performers??? Or are they just queer people? I am literally looking through my screencaps of this scene and I frankly don't get what it's trying to imply here???? I feel like it's a joke at my people's expense but I'm missing context, so. SHRUG.

Kaneshiro's palace seems to be the entirety of Shibuya's central street. Which made me think they just didn't want to make new assets but I'm proven wrong in a bit.

Seeing people as walking ATMs doesn't make sense to me, like, you withdraw from your own account with ATMs, not from the magical ATM fairy. I don't get this metaphor. Whatev!

TURNS OUT THE ACTUAL PALACE IS A FLYING BANK. Alright. That's sure a thing.

I feel like this was an incredibly valid question. Unfortunately, Morgana cannot turn into non-car things. Which really begs a lot of questions about why he can become specifically a van.

Ryuji when was the last time you were useful, homes, you are the one who got us into this fucking mess with Makoto because you kept screaming about being a Phantom Thief, you absolute dunderfuck. Don't insult Morgana.

Dinnertime at the Nijima Household.

This is a totally inappropriate reaction but I started laughing in disbelief because like. This turn is SO hard and SO sudden and came out of nowhere???? Sae, bruh, what the fuck, are you having a bad day?

OH MY GOD SHE IS LMAO THAT'S HER EXCUSE. And then she says she's going to stop coming home for dinner from now on???? Holy shit?

lmao as the main caretaker of a very frustrating person who drives me batshit, I am judging Sae so fucking hard right now. Remember the halcyon days when we first met Sae? God, I barely remember. Now she's interrogating our card collection and making Dojima look like Parent of the Year.

The Thieves meet up to talk about how to reach the Palace and Makoto just invites herself along again, and Ann happens to call her "useless" and oh my god is this like her trauma trigger?

ATLUS

WHO THE FUCK WAS YOUR SCENE COORDINATOR FOR THIS SEQUENCE

AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?

YOU JUST FLASHED BACK TO A SCENE THAT LITERALLY JUST HAPPENED 40 SECONDS AGO.

Makoto completely loses her shit and is like "okay fine I will go find you Kaneshiro" and storms off

Gets shoved into the back of an unmarked car by two thugs

Everyone very reasonably flips their shit too and chases after her, including Ryuji throwing himself into the path of a speeding car to make it stop

which: is the most Chariot shit any Chariot has ever Charioted, but also if he got hit doing this, I would have deleted the game in a rage-blackout, i'm so furious with Makoto

and oh she leads them to Kaneshiro! and he immediately snaps a photo of them all for blackmail purposes. he wants 3 million yen in 3 weeks.

HEY YUSUKE?

THANK YOU

Everyone gets a shot of sympathy for Makoto because she's like super sorry that she flipped her shit and ran off and confronted some mafia dudes and got in their car and wound up needing a rescue and then got everyone on the hook for 3 million yen, which is about what I make in a fucking year (roughly)

whatever, they bring her into the Metaverse, she pops her Persona, it's a motorcycle, which is way more fucking cool than she deserves

you know what, same here. same here.

I think I feel comfortable saying, yeah, this is worse than Ryoji. If anyone is hoping I turn on Makoto later, do not hold your breath, because this is a staggeringly bad prolonged introduction to this character. I am to a point I want to sit down with the writers and just ask them to explain to me what impression they intended to leave on the player, taking a character who has thus far only been a stalker and harasser of the protagonists turned outright blackmailer turned into oh now someone else is blackmailing us bc of her? and then handing her off like "here's a new teammate"

what

the actual

fuck

thank you and good night. I'm going to bed.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 70 Rundown

Code Geass: So Lelouch is gonna go join Nunally’s ‘let’s all hold hands and get along’ area but literally no one wants to go after Euphy murdered everyone last time. You’d think there’d be at least one dumbass like “Maybe it won’t be a massacre.” But yeah Zero’s like “Oh well I just happen to have a million people I can give to the zone if you exile me and let me go scott free” and everyone’s like “that’s a super shitty thing to do but okay” so then Zero tells Suzaku that culture is stored in the titty and all the one million people do their I am Spartacus thing and wear Zero’s costume which had to be a logistical nightmare, like Zero’s outfit already is pretty expensive with the fancy clothes and the helmet and shit and some of them are randomly customized even though that defeats the purpose like how do you do this on a terrorist budget in a few days without anyone in the government finding out. Like “we received an order for a million pounds of the thing used in Zero’s helmet on the black market” seems like it’d stand out. But yeah, the million Zeros get away, partially because of the “dogs playing basketball” rule that they’re all Zero because their culture of being Zero is stored in their titty which wouldn’t hold up in court but also because if they just kill a million people who’re just trying to leave that’d be bad for the government, not that they’re not used to genocide and being hated as Imperialists but Suzaku specifically doesn’t want that on his and Nunally’s hands while they’re trying to actually do shit for Japan for once. Feel like there’s probably a good cause for peaceful detainment and not letting them just walk out but it’s not like they’d find Lelouch or whoever the supposed second Zero was anyway even if they strip-searched everyone since he was never there and if it isn’t Lelouch the only thing that makes him Zero sight-wise is the mask.

Inuyasha: So yeah we get the conclusion of Shiori’s story for Inuyasha and I just can’t help thinking about how nice it is that she went on to help a lot of other half-demons in Yashahime because of an act of kindness that Inuyasha showed her right here, really good ripple effect shit. But yeah Shiori gets pissed that her grandpa killed her dad and Kekkaishi YEETs him and his followers out of the barrier so Inuyasha can backlash wave the lot of them. We still got fifteen minutes left though so even after Inuyasha says he’s not going to murder a little girl for a powerup that’ll get power crept in a few seasons, Shiori offers him the blood coral crystal to break to give him the powerup instead as thanks for not fucking murdering her. We can’t have the climax of the episode just be Inuyasha smacking a crystal ball though so Taigokumaru’s spirit yeets itself out of the crystal and fights with Inuyasha and attacks Shiori but her dad makes a barrier to bounce him off of so Inuyasha can kill him a second time and get the Red Tessaiga. There’s some navelgazing about how life as a half demon is rough but how Inuyasha thinks that hardship will be good for Shiori and he’s rooting for her in his own way and in Yashahime we see he’s right and all in all that’s pretty nice. Anyway next time we have the Panther Demon filler arc which is honestly probably one of my favorite filler arcs in Inuyasha so that’ll be fun.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Yusuke continues his fight with Suzaku and Suzaku splits himself into seven, which this doesn’t seem to be the Multi-Form or Shadow Clones deal where it divides his energy, each one seems as strong as the original so that’s just kind of broken. Keiko pulls a bait and switch on the zombies which neither Suzaku nor Yusuke see coming despite watching the whole thing on Spirit TV, guess Suzaku had the camera point at the door instead of on Keiko for some reason even though the point is to make Yusuke watch her die. Anyway Yusuke flashes back to Genkai telling him he’s a little bitch that always doubts himself and splits his energy across multiple plans instead of having the confidence to go for something with everything he has and make it work instead of holding back in case it doesn’t. This and remembering his mom crying over his death and all the relationships he’s formed makes him go Super Saiyan in what I can only describe as a Fully Body Shotgun which I don’t think ever comes up again. He knocks down all the Suzakus but it’s just time to start the real fight since Yusuke’s lifted his limiter again like he does in every fight.

Fate Zero: So the clusterfuck in the middle of Saber and Lancer’s battle continues to grow as Iskandar just fucking dares everyone to come at him and five of the seven servants actually do. Gilgamesh is all like “Ugh, why do I have to do this shit, breathing sucks, I’m a king, someone breathe for me.” And tries to murder everyone with spears and shit but turns out Berserker is Darth Vader this time around and uses the force to steal his stolen weapons until Rin’s dad is all like “Dude you’re showing the whole world our fucking moveset, get the fuck out of there. Which given that Gilgamesh is an archer which are supposed to be independent and he’s a fucking snobby asshole, even with a Command Seal I’m surprised that worked. Also Waver’s racist teacher is all “hah wow, I was supposed to have Rider and the token teenager character stole it from me” and Iskandar’s like “I like this kid that’s ride or die with me even though he cries all the time way more than someone who doesn’t even step onto the battlefield you stuck up prick” and then Lancer and Berserker double-team Saber (giggity) and Lancer’s not happy about it because he was fighting Saber first and doesn’t wanna just jump her with Darth Vader but more Command Seals are thrown around until Iskander runs over Darth Vader with his fucking Lightning Chariot and that’s kind of shitty because Racist Teacher man wasted a Command Seal to have Lancer attack Saber for like five seconds before making him retreat. Bug Dude is also kinda freaked out that Berserker just kinda went for Saber meaning she must be pretty pissed at Saber about something anyway so basically everyone runs away and nothing is really accomplished, we didn’t even really need Kiritsugu’s sniper shit or Assassins’s Ninja Bullshit for this everyone’s just had enough and goes home. Also Caster is a creepy yandere simp for Saber but really who isn’t in this series.

Konosuba: So Aqua’s ready to sit in a lake for a few hours to make some money but for the first time in her live her divine booty is not enough to solve this problem. She gets traumatized by getting attacked by demon alligators and Kazuma and co. are honestly uncharacteristically worried about her and ready to try and help her. Meanwhile generic isekai protagonist has a crush on Aqua despite already having his own harem of bland girls and wants to steal Aqua back but basically the whole group is so totally anti-White Knight they can see right through his shit and turn him down. Kazuma beats him up in the most Kazuma way possible and steals his magic sword, proving that not only is he not doing anything to defeat the devil king but he’s actively sabotaging those that are. Aqua fucking decks the guy and blackmails him so she’s rich now and Kazuma’s rich from selling his OP Isekai Cheat Sword. Also the Dullahan dude is back for revenge about bombing his castle and Kazuma’s like “Wait were we still doing that? Thought we stopped, oh well everyone in this world’s problems are our fault somehow so it sounds about right.”

Sailor Moon Crystal: So this time we get Makoto’s story who’s probably my favorite thus far because her job is punching shit and making sure Usagi doesn’t die from the hundreds of things ready to hit her on a daily basis. I have sort of found a redeeming trait for Usaig in that she’s willing to reach out to anyone and everyone, like she’s not what I would call traditionally ‘nice’ but she is friendly and that ability to pull disparate people together does kind of make more sense for why she’d be the leader rather than the other girls who have useful but more specific talents. But yeah continuing with the trend of things teen girls like trying to destroy the world, haunted bridal shop that also reveals Makoto’s tragic backstory of being a more believable version of Tall Girl. Makoto transforms and beats up the Bride lady with a combination of Zenbonzakura Kageyoshi and Azula’s lightning bending, no fair that she gets two powers but I guess she is the tough one so it make sense. Now we’ve basically got the whole crew except for the one that we already know is active but hasn’t joined the group yet so we’ll see how this goes.

Durarara!!: So Mikado’s in deep shit after stealing the girl away that half the town is looking for, all because he has it hammered into his head that whenever a girl asks for his help he has to give it. There’s a bit of discussion about the nature of the Dollars that I’m sure won’t be important later but both Izaya and Celty show up outside Mikado’s school and he’s kind of in an awkward position since there’s nowhere he can really go but home and lead them to the girl. So he decides to find out about them, or at least Celty, Izaya’s just kinda along for the ride. He gets Celty’s backstory and agrees to take her to the other girl only to get jumped by Yagiri thugs and pull out some Death Note animation internet shit that has even Izaya stunned, Mikado about to actually become the main character of this anime for a bit.

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

i was blank for a bit, but i have a thought. helios! seokmin and selene! you don’t get to meet that often because your guys’ busy jobs and schedules. but, on the very off chance you guys can, it’s a solar eclipse, and seokmin’s just fucking you so softly and worshipping your body until you’re both exhausted because he can’t touch you for the next eighteen months. - matcha

Okay but if we really think about this in terms of the planets this could be so tragically beautiful.

In your endless night you’re chasing the daylight. The golden glow is always just beyond your cold, ethereal grasp. No matter how fast you chase his chariot so often he’s so far away. Even catching a glimpse of him is difficult despite the dazzling glow he fives off, the warmth that engulfs every second around him, the brilliant halo of light that sits atop his hair and his golden robes, all stunning but not more so than his features. The sharp angles of his cheek and jaw bones, the line of his nose perfectly sculpted and yet all of it softened by his warm, caring demeanor.

He’s such a contrast to you, you feel almost ghostly by comparison. Always shrouded in darkness and only radiating with a brilliant glow when his light hits you, his warmth reaches you. Your silver robes would flow out behind you on a ghostly wind as the day stayed so far and you thought it must be a cruel joke of the hates fr you to be so far from the one you love.

But every solar eclipse, after many days, many months of being apart you finally see each other.

Not all would give you much time, the partial eclipses would only give you moments. Some of them your fingers would barely touch each other’s. It would be the only time you saw sadness on his face, as you flew away from his touch despite his gravity, despite the pull deep in your soul towards him.

But during a total eclipse you would embrace. His arms would hold you so tightly, knowing his time with you is always limited as he murmurs “How I’ve missed you, my love.”

Your lips would meet his as your fingers tangle into his hair, wanting to savour every moment you have with each other before you’re pulled apart again. His warmth would sink into you, feeling as if he was bringing you to life, like a breath of fresh air after the empty expanse of space circling the earth.

His lips would move down your neck as his hands slid under your robes and yours push his down his shoulders. A gasp would leave your lips as his fingers slipped between your legs, the other still on the small of your back, holding you close. You’d press against his hand as his fingers sunk into you, moaning out his name and your fingers pulling him even closer.

His voice would sing praises of your beauty, your mystery and mystique. He’d marvel at the way you gasped and your body arched against him as he stretched you open on his fingers, moving them expertly as his kisses along your neck grew more feverish.

When you murmur to him that you need more he’d pull his fingers from your heat, sucking them clean as he silently cursed, wishing he had more time with you. He’d press you against the wall of the chariot, your legs wrapping around him as he pushed into you.

His thrusts would be steady and deep and his lips against the hollow under your cheek would murmur to you breathlessly how good you feel, how he wished he could be with you like this for the rest of time. Your fingers would tangle into his hair again as you tell him to kiss you again.

His kiss would be so full of passion as you both chased your highs. Your hips would move in time with his as well as they could, your hands holding each other as close as you possibly could. With a beautiful moan he would start to release into you, filling you even more with his warmth.

You fall over your own edge, waves of pleasure rushing through your body, your limbs trembling and your lips still against his, open in a shaky moan.

You’d have only moments, holding each other close until you feel the pull. You’d feel the lump welling up in your throat and saw tears in his eyes, a sad smile on his lips as you started to move apart, your chariots heading in opposite directions. His fingers would wrap around your wrist as your bodies were pulled apart and you’d meet his eyes as you held you there for a moment longer, his voice breaking as he spoke.

“Until you come back to me, my love.”

And he’d let go.

Congrats Matcha im gonna fucking cry now!!!! IM SO SAD!!! @thetypingpup @minghaoss this is the prettiest thing I’ve ever written and I’m so in love with it and I think you’ll appreciate it too

[dishonoredrpg]

And now, from me to you, a very official and very serious chart regarding the spectrum of allegiances and loyalties, courtesy of THIS ask. It’s more clarified under the cut for you, and in alphabetical order!

i. Chariot: the Chariot wants Septimus dead pretty badly because they suspect he killed their mother, but cannot directly act due to their reputation. ii. Death: Death is by far the most outspoken of any of the other skeletons, and is protected by their wealth, but a source of their wealth itself is Septimus and his rulings. iii. The Devil: The Devil, much like The Sun, could be persuaded against Septimus, but may need a tad more convincing. iv. The Emperor: loves his dad. v. The Empress: I mean, he kind of sucks sometimes, but we’ve been married for a while, so... vi. The Fool: would love to see Septimus dead, but feels restrained by the guilt their duties place upon them. Feels as though they are a bystander. vii. The Hanged Man: they don’t know any better, but that could change. viii. The Hermit: Blames The Fool (which is right, to a degree), but is altogether against Septimus. ix. The Hierophant: burn it down by daughter.mp3. Anti-establishment, anti-Septimus, anti-everything, but their rage makes them indecisive. x. The High Priestess: wants Septimus dead for power. xi. Judgment: Not a fan, but is a pacifist for religious reasons. xii. Justice: their job depends on Septimus being alive, so they’re very loyal. xiii. The Lovers: loyal only because of The World xiv. The Magician: loyal because of their family and the need to rise in rank, but would not mind... if something were to happen. xv. The Moon: disagrees with Septimus because of his stances on magic, but needs him alive to remain within Castle Tyrholm and investigate their issue with their own magic. xvi. The Star: hates it here! Let him out! xvii. Strength: Money’s money, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. xviii. The Sun: could be persuaded to rebel, but feels bound to Septimus and the royal family because of their morals surrounding their status as a Necromancer and that death is their only skill. If they can’t kill for someone, then what’s the point at all? xix. Temperance: benefits, like other nobility, from Septimus’ reign. Has no real reason to want him dead. xx. The Tower: they’re here, and Septimus is kind of a fucking weirdo, but hey, the digs are kind of nice, so why not stay? (They are terrified of being killed by The Sun if they bail.) xxi. The Wheel of Fortune: is more focused on pleasing The High Priestess than they are politics xxii. The World: loves their dad, would like to see him change, but not necessarily dead.

[jcnuaries-blog]

what’s up you absolute cursed heathens, it’s ya boi kael (he/him, 22, gmt+8:00) and i’m bringing you the lovely miss january st. james who doesn’t have that many gifs so i might b reusing a lot of these so bear with me—below the cut is the sparknotes version of her story and whole deal!

THE STORY—

remember euripedes’ play of medea? well it goes something like that lmao; basically january was born to a line of sorcerers from a demigod who was cursed by the gods to suffer for her power, and january was basically isolated to her family because they diluted their powers enough so they could practice some magic and keep their bloodline afloat

enter: love! love sucks, and january can testify to that! a hero flattered her (w the help of a goddess) and promised her a lot of things so that he could have a sorceress on his arsenal; her power, while it was okay wasn’t good enuf which was a total drag so the only logical thing to do was to activate her curse and at least grow more powerful to help her #onetruluv !!

spoiler alert it doesn’t go well !!

he leaves her after his series of quests, and goes off to get married to some beautiful demigod who the gods have promised to him or he rescued, she really doesn’t care about all that tbf

what she does care about? vengeance! and bc the gods didn’t really care about karmic retribution except for nemesis and she didn’t answer her, she went “fuck it!” and concocted a plan of her own. taking the heart of a freshly dead thing and a sacrificial dagger, she killed his bride at their wedding

she also killed the one after that, but that’s neither here nor there. what’s there is that the guy died in the end. from grief? from anger? who knows, who cares! not january!

this is supposed to be the part of the play where medea gets to fly an awesome golden dragon chariot to her grandfather helios’ place, but like lmao no helios, no dragons only bullshit gods and what happens for her retribution? she gets her family killed!

the place where she lived is now scorched earth and has the faint smell of ozone! the ashes are kept in an urn, where she takes with her and honestly she’s just miserable in the end. the gods also called on her to stay in this city

she hates the city. and the gods. but she doesn’t know what tf to do at this point and just sits in her apartment and goes 2 the database !!

THE CURSE— 

her curse basically works to isolate her as long as she has her power. this works by creating a roadblock of sorts? like fuzzy memories if she’s around! like she’s there, but... like what did u do what did u see. u had a time w her but u can remember the details of it all u know !!

she needs to have a ritual done in order to create deep lasting bonds which sucks because a.) it’s hard and b.) it hurts !! the double whammy of this is that her power dilutes every time she makes this choice, and if the opposite choice is made to isolate herself she gets her power back !! yay !! but also she will sever contact from the person and no more deep bonds in the end !! boo !!

currently, she’s powerful as all hell, but lonely so u know... yikes? also fuck the gods tbh

THE EXTRA—

she’s got a black cat familiar named the grand duchess aveline du bois who absolutely hates when people come over. that said she’s also a little gremlin who tries to eat potion reagents and january has to spray her with the bottle

she likes sorcery! big shock i know, but she’s made it her main thing after the jackass hero cut her off from her family lmaooo !! she likes doing it, and it’s not uncommon to see things levitating in her house. 

january loves winter and autumn but hates the fact that she can’t sleep in !! let her live !!

bill and ted’s excellent adventure was amazing and january dares u to say otherwise. she loves her comedies shush !!

breaking promises is a no-no !! if u break a promise to january, a real serious one you’re on her shit list and she will not interact with you whatsoever. that said, she will keep to her word 99% of the time, except for the 1% where she needs to lie to make a plan work

she used to design buildings !! it was a good job and kept her comfy !!

her home smells faintly of jasmine bc of the air fresheners she keeps buying every day !! if out she’ll get either lavander or just a clean air one tbh

[dailydianakko]

Undying Au- God doesnt exist

I think I will cause problems on purpose. Anyway enjoy more of my little fic :3

NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Holbrock chased after me shouting but she had to stop when I went into my room cause she would look like a perv that way. Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Lunkic was spying on me and she was taking a video tape of me! And Pices was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks. “EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in. “Abra Kedavra!” she yelled at Lunkic and Piceese pointing her womb. I took my gun and shot Loonkic and Peeses a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly Hoobrock ran in. “Akko, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” she shouted looking at Lunick and pieces and then she waved her wand and suddenly… Nelson ran outside on her broom and said everyone we need to talk. “What do you know, Nelson? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!” “I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Nelson paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!” “This cannot be.” LAnick said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from her hand where Holbrooke’s wand had shot her. “There must be other factors.” “YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly. Piceses held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!” I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. “Why are you doing this?” Peices said angrily while she rubbed her dirty fin on her hat. And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from her. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite her and drink her blood because I felt faint. “BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Nelson said and she paused in the air dramitaclly, waving her wand in the air. Then swooped she in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. “Because you’re goffic?” Lunkic asked in a little afraid voice cause she was afraind it meant she was connected with Satan. “Because I LOVE HER!” Chapter 12. AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn’t really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Duana had given me in case anything happened to her. She had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together. “NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS NELsOOM but it was Vampire. She started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY HEMMROID HURTS!” and then….. her eyes rolled up! You could only see her red whites. I stopped. “How did u know?” “I saw it! And my vein turned back into the hemmerpiod!” “NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a hemorrhoid anymore!” I shouted. “I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” she said back. “Anyway my vein hurt and it turned back into the hemmeroid! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Duana…………….Paul has her in bondage!” Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my slit wrists. Lunkick and Peeses and NELSOM were there too. They were going to St. Mango’s after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Chariot had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them. Anyway Nelson came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses. “AKjew I need to tell u somethnig.” she said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses. “Fuck off.” I told her. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” I snapped. Nelsom had been mean to me before for being gottik. “No Akkeo.” Neelson says. “Those are not roses.” “What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” I asked cause I was angry that she had brought me pink roses. “I saved your life!” She yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Lunnick and Peeses.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently. “Whatever!” I yelled angirly. She pointed her wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” She suddenly looked at them with an evil look in her eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! . “That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” I corrected her wisely. “I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then she screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for Valkyrie I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!” And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew she wasn’t a prep. “OK I believe you now wtf is Duana?” Nelson rolled her eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing. “U c, Akkeo,” Howdybrooke said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?” “I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD WOOMAN!” NalsOM yelled. HOWDYbrookes lookd shockd. I guess she didn’t have a headache or else she would have said something back. Neleleson stormed off back into her bed. “U r a liar, proof Hobrookee!” Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. “You look kawai, girl.” Sucy P’oison said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Lunnkick and ppeses couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Flying Class. She looked all depressed because Duana had disappeared and she had used to be in love with Duana. She was sucking some blood from Chole. “Hi.” she said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way. We both looked at each other for some time. Amanda had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Duanas. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. “STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor Croiz who was watching us and so was everyone else. “Vampire you fucker!” I said slapping her. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Duana!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily. Just then she started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY HEMMEROID HURTS!” and then….. her eyes rolled up! You could only see her red whites. “NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a hermmeroid anymore!” I shouted. “I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” she said back. “Anyway my hemmeroid hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Duana…………….POOL has her bondage!” XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for HobRoock. We were so scared. "HOBroock HoldbROOKE!” we both yelled. HOlbrooke came there. “What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” she asked angrily. “PAUL has Diana!” we shouted at the same time. She laughed in an evil voice. “No! Don’t! We need to save Duana!” we begged. “No.” she said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Paul does to Diana. Not after how much she misbehaved in school especially with YOU Akko.” she said while she frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked her that much anyway.” then she walked away. Vampire started crying. “My Diana!” she moaned. (AN: don’t u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!) “Its okay!” I tried to tell her but that didn’t stop her. She started to cry tears of blood. Then she had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” she exclaimed. “What?” I asked her. “You’ll see.” she said. She took out her wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in Pauls MAnsion! We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “I kast GUN!” It was……………………………….. PAUL! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXX WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. We ran to where PAul was. It turned out that Paul wasn’t there. Instead Duanas Cousin MErril was. Diana was there crying tears of blood. Meryll was torturing her. Vampire and I ran in front of Merill. “Rid my sight you despicable preps!” she shouted as we started shooting her with the gun she Then suddenly she looked at me and she fell down with a lovey-dovey look in her eyes. “AkkoyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” she said. (in dis she is sixteen yrs old so shes not a pedofile ok) “Huh?” I asked. ”Akko I love you will you have sex with me?” asked merrioll. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my gf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed her in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain. “Nooooooooooooo!” she screamed. She started screaming and running around. Then she fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly. “Morril what art thou doing?” called Pauul. Then…… she started coming! We could hear her high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Loona Noova. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying. “What’s wrong honey?” asked Diana taking off her clothes so we could screw. She had a sex-pack (geddit cuz shes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything. “Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for Sucy P'oison, because she’s not ugly or anything.” “Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.” answered Diana. “Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Liunkink and Peices took a video of me naked. Nelsom says she’s in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Meriol is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Diana! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory Akkow isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.

[nightcoremoon]

everyone sucks dark souls' dick over how it's triumph over hardships and whatthefuckever

asylum demon is a little bitch.

taurus demon is a little bitch.

moonlight butterfly is a little bitch.

titanite demon is a little bitch.

capra demon is a little bitch.

havel the rock is a little bitch.

stray demon is a little bitch.

bell gargoyles are cheating little fuckers.

these fights aren't hard. they're not difficult. they're painfully easy. those first seven I beat without breaking a sweat, most of them on the first or second try. would've been the first for some but the game just loves artificial difficulty. what's that, you want strategy and tactics and reaction time? too bad, fuck you, have random ass bullshit, skewed numbers (enemies have fuckhuge hp and damage and you have wet paper), extra enemies on the side who fuckin teleport and ignore physics (oh right it's havok physics so fuck it who cares let's all teleport), oh yeah and your framerate is cut to ribbons because the game tries to render THE ENTIRE WORLD AT ONCE and when your framerate is low guess what YOURE LITERALLY NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO PLAY because it kicks you to the main title. oh and the bonewheels? yeah I made jokes about them before but jesus christ who fucking OK'd these? was there any QA at all? oh you rested at that bonfire, fuck you you're here forever now because you move at half speed and they move at double speed and they can pivot midair a full 360 and they instantly break your poise and do a hundred damage each hit oh yeah and they can all hit you at the same fucking time. there's a literal zero frame window whatsoever to roll out of the way. all you can do is pray to the RNG gods that it'll let you play. and that's bullshit.

this game

is fucking

TERRIBLE

every single complaint I've seen about the prequel- WHICH I LOVE- and the sequel- WHICH I USED TO HATE BUT NOW LOVE BECAUSE ITS SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN THE TRASH HEAP OF THE FIRST GAME- can be levied tenfold against this game.

fuck this berserk fanfiction trash that namco bandai threw money at for the art department and level design crew. they got all the budget, leaving nothing for the fuckin nonexistent ai.

the bosses all suck too. yeah ds2 had shitty bosses and reskins too, but IT HAD TWICE AS MANY AS DS1 DID. it's allowed a couple of trash bosses. and it has some absolute gems. the last giant is a perfect first boss that will decimate you if you don't know what you're doing but if you understand it you can plow through it easily, but can't be complacent with.

flexile sentry is a cool design and has two different moveset to content with, AND a level timer. skeleton lords? good boss. executioner chariot? good boss. mytha? eh, decent boss. smelter demon? fucking amazing boss. old iron king? cheating bastard but hey just don't fall in the lava idiot. git gud. fume knight? *chef's kiss* sir allonne? *chef's kiss* rat vanguard? incredible puzzle. the rotten? it's ok I guess but it's still better than half the ds1 bosses. najka? quelaag reskin but still ok. rat authority? sif and capra had a baby. prowling magus? ...ok that one is just embarrassing, I'll give you that. freja? great. pursuer? he'll crush you if you don't know what you're doing but all of his attacks are unique and avoidable and he looks fucking cool. ruin sentinels? tough as hell and worth the struggle in learning them. gargoyles? it's not a reskin, it's the ds1 gargoyle fight but not a completely horrible steaming pile of shit that's just a worse version of maneaterds in the prequel. lost sinner? good boss. mirror knight? good boss. demon of song? good boss. velstadt? good boss. vendrick? holy shit is he the best character in the series or what? and his boss fight... everyone says lord gwyn is the saddest because of sakuraba-sama's amazing talents at musical composition (so uh tales of symphonia is the best video game soundtrack ever made hands down don't @ me I'm sorry metroid prime but you have too much ambient noise) and PLIN PLIN PLON but I guarantee you that PLIN PLIN PLON would work well against vendrick too. oh yeah then you have the fake dragons (ok), throne duo (mediocre version of ornstein & smough), nashandra (meh), and aldia (meh), and also the bosses of shulva (meh) and the dogs of eleum loyce (meh) and the burnt ivory king. who is the best boss in the series hands don't don't @ me I'm sorry soul of cinder but you rely too much on nostalgia.

dark souls 2 is a fucking masterpiece with a few hiccups that are all holdovers from the first game. standing alone, this is probably the best action rpg ever made, and what everything else should build itself off of.

ds1 has a bunch of copypasted enemies with the word "boss" slapped on them, shitty mechanics, and even shittier stages.

quelaag is good. four kings is good. nito is good. seathe is good. sif is good. o&s are good. the dlc bosses are good. every single other boss is fucking stupid or fucking terrible and either can be cheesed or REQUIRE cheese.

what I mentioned before are jokes. ceaseless is just a pathetic version of dragon god who was vastly improved when he became old iron king. centipede demon is fucking garbage. bed of chaos is worse than garbage. priscilla is a meme. gwyndolin is a hallway. demon firesage is a reskin. gaping dragon is a waste of a cool design. iron golem is a joke who can be 1v1'd by tarkus. pinwheel? shut the fuck up about the prowling magus and congregation, pinwheel is not a real boss. lord of cinder? he's the reason why I don't parry, because parrying is cheese and it's fully dependent on having a $1000 graphics card and a brain that's wired to look at 60 frames per second. "but the human eye can only see 26" yeah exactly. man that's a short list of shitty bosses though. you're right? it's because I've listed all the dark souls bosses. and I haven't even listed all of the ds2 bosses.

I'm with hbomberguy here. ds2 gets more hate than it deserves. but I'll take it a step further.

dark souls 1 sucks.

it's not fun. it's not cool. it has a story ripped from a manga. its level design is a gimmick. the animations are shit. the hitboxes are shit. the physics are shit. the lighting and textures are still shit AFTER A REMASTER. the weapons and moveset variety is shit. the enemy design is shit. the locations all look exactly the same. the NPCs are boring and forgettable- I don't even know their fucking NAMES besides andre and gough (and gwyndolin but she's as real as her tits). it's built from salt and cyanide and broken glass rather than love for its roots. the music is the only part I can salvage without any buts. I can't even say that actually because THERE IS NONE EXCEPT DURING BOSSES WHEN YOU CANT LISTEN TO IT BECAUSE IT THINKS THAT DIFFICULTY IS SPEED AND SHEER NUMBERS.

it's a bad game.

you can like it. you can play it. you can love it.

but holy shit, shut the fuck about about it. I get it. I understand. I know. okay. got it. shut up.

I'll stop talking shit about your baby when you stop bitching and moaning and whining over how much you won't let yourself enjoy 2.